#I HAD SO MANY THOUGHTS AND NOW I CANT RMR ANYTHING

[good-vs-evo]

I JUST SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME WRITING AND EDITING MY YIN YU ANALYSIS POST ONLY TO DELETE IT BY ACCIDENT 😭🙏 I DONT THINK I CAN DO THIS AGAIN IM GONNA SCREAMMMMM

[stuclyblrs]

uhhhh hi s/o to me for never fucking posting this over the summer even tho i wrote it so here’s a very late “first year of college reflection that i put off for too long and now dont rmr everything i wanted to talk about” post :]  even tho my first semester of soph year is almost done lolol so look out for another reflection post in two weeks or so 

im gonna /try/ and organize this but i def i wanna do this for my own sake and as a good post to look back on when i graduate ya know :^) i do wish i had wrote a post first about my expectations but i didnt (((if ur curious before we dive into this post heres class reflections from first semester and heres second semester)))

now one thing i did have was a letter to ourselves that we were required to write for our cohorts so lets look at that a little !! jkjk i cant find it LMAO only thing i rmr from it tho was a gpa goal which i 100% did not meet first semester but my overall gpa for the year reached it so thats good :^) and i can tell i got happier based on what i do rmr

some college life/nyc life

i love it

thats all i really have to say

being in the city is soooo amazing i love just being able to walk everywhere and take public transport when going somewhere far (on a related note my car died so like jakgnj wont have that problem in a city!)

this is all on me tho but i didnt take advantage of living in nyc tho :((( the only time i went to a play is when my mom and aunt came to visit and i only went to one museum and that was the day i moved out cause i wasnt abt to leave without going to one skngeujkg

IM SO SOCIAL NOW !!!!! i didnt rly have any friends outside of school during high school so i never did anything but now !!! i have friends !!! rly good friends too and idk im just really lucky to have met them and a lot of it was just being in the right place at the right time kind of thing so !! if anything im the most social of my friend group lol im always trying to get everyone to do smth together but they never want to :((((

school itself

uhh okay so i am very mixed on this and i think i have more regrets than anything else sigh :/// i went in undecided like most ppl and in all honesty i came out even more lost and confused which (might start to get negative here sorry) is really frustrating and it makes me feel like i wasted a whole year :/// i just knew deep down before i began the year that i didnt want to study something non-stem and i let too many people convince me that i should go for something else and i listened to all of them......... i didnt hate the classes i was taking so it didnt ruin the year for me or anything but im just behind and lost that year to figure out /which/ path i want... given its harder to do stem majors in 3yrs im worried about making this big change in my life b/c what if i fail ??? what if i hate it ??? but im trying smth new and i just hope it works out

college itself tho....... infinitely better than high school. i knew in highschool that it was Bad but coming to college and then coming back home and hearing updates that were going on at my high school and just yeah....... pls it never really hit me just how restrictive high school was - we had two late night fire alarms in my dorm and it was like ??? we can just leave the area if we want ??? we dont have to stay nearby the dorm like how we had to stay with our classes during fires at school ??? idk it was a weird thought that hey, im in control of myself here and i like not having classes for 7hrs straight lmao - for my high school friends reading this i swear it gets better people werent lying about it

IN CONCLUSION idk what else to say lol cause i shouldve done this right when the semester ended.... but given that i was very sad when i moved out i think thats a sign that my first year was more good than it was bad and im just glad that im that im in the college that im in and that ive been having a mostly good experience

[ot5]

hi babe!! 💗 omg sounds like you had such a lovely day yesterday w half the batch of brownies 🥰 and... a skull... from the graveyard? ndksksk I LOVE that, please say you have a picture? I didn’t go to the park bc the weather app straight up lied to me and said it would be sunny but u know what it was? rainy. like the rest of this month and the last 🤡

anyway, I tried and I can’t send you a picture while sending an anonymous ask so I’ll show you my cat when this is over with!! 💗 and NDJSKSKS girl I just about died when you said your cat is called conchobar 😭💀 my cat is called louis so guess this was meant to be <3 we just call him lulu though 🥰

yeah missed flights are my speciality, if I make it anywhere without any trouble when I fly it’s a blessing 🥴 had missed connections and overnight stays and flights straight up cancelled, one time I had to take a taxi for a cancelled in-country flight to make it to the next airport for the connecting flight <3 the next flight was delayed for a couple hours so I made it but I arrived back home at 4am instead of 10pm like I was supposed to 🙃 and alright, gonna have to look up utrecht! I think heard the name before actually, where did you visit when you were in germany?

NDJSJS ok really didn’t think being neutral would be your downfall, rip 😔 here’s to hoping you won’t get blocked immediately 💔

how’s it going on your christmas decoration front? any progress? we set up all the stuff except for smaller decorations bc apparently sweden is a pain in the ass and sells christmas decoration without (!!) the stupid strings attached so I have to sit here and attach strings to every single piece by myself like an idiot 🤡 so we focused on the bigger pieces and ignored the smaller ones so far

and photoshop queen is back learning how to layer images and putting several images on top of each other 😩 my friend asked me something about how I cut the people out of their pictures and was like did you use this tool or that and I’m like uhh 💀 no idea. I am simply following a youtube tutorial mindlessly <3

also omg tbh I haven’t written any cards or gotten any gifts at all this year and I hate it but sweden still thinks masks are not necessary so I definitely will not go christmas shopping this year 🥴 I thought about designing some cards online and sending them to my friends and family in an email instead (since there’s no way they’d make it back to germany in time now) but haven’t really done anything yet. did you start with your christmas cards? 🥰 hope you had a cozy day today!! ✨💫

LOUIS AND CONCHOBAR SCREAM tell me this isnt fate omg our minds😌😌 i cant wait to meet him🥺 also hello rip i didnt mean to ghost for 2 days😭 im so sorry!!😔 i was busy being deceased i think my body decided to end the year early❤️ imagine if we got some sunshine tho..... WHEW

omg girl no offense but u sound cursed and i would not want to travel with you<3 the worst ive had is that they almost didnt let me on a plane once bc id put my first name on the ticket and my passport has completely different initials which. is on my parents🙄 and rip the way i suddenly dont know a single german city</3 i did go to berlin once with school which was fun eventhough the main thing i rmr is the way i didnt vibe with my host family’s special diet djksndj it was WARM and SUNNY tho which ..is smth ive yet to experience in sweden😳

bye we also had some really pretty ornaments that needed to get the string looped thru and i just said no❤️ but im glad to hear your decorating is coming along!!🥺 did you end up doing the smaller ones? also i gave up on my tree and got an even smaller one from the attic that already has stuff glued in bc i cant be bothered to do more tbh😔

layering images.. miss girl that already sounds like rocket science to me ur so smart and skilled we love to see it 👏 how many days do u have left on your trial?? im lowkey feeling nervous for you nskdfns are you gonna get the full thing after?

omg miss sweden😳 masks are mostly mandatory here thankfully but i feel you im not doing any shopping either:( designing cards online would be so cool!!! and smart via email...my cards are gonna be so LATE😭😭 but then again i dont think ive ever sent an international card that actually made it to the friend on time before christmas so djksfjs not gonna let that stop me🥰 i hope you’ve been well! and again im so sorry for the late reply!

[dreaminsomnia]

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

I was tagged by @violetnpurple

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Milk?

2. Phone call: Uhh i can’t remember the last call i made w my phone but i called my friend on discord  some day this week

3. Text Message: mattie, they sent me an actual text message with their “new” phone :D

4. Song you listened to: bts mic drop

5. Time you cried: Uhh on tuesday?

6. Dated someone twice: No

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No?

8. Been cheated on: No

9. Lost someone special: In a way, idk if this is asked like if someone close to you died or like if you have cut ties w someone important but uh in both ways yeah

10. Been depressed: Yeah, still ongoing

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Atleast not yet

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Lavender

13. Purple in overall

14. blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Definately! :3

16. Fallen out of love: Nope

17. Laughed until you cried: im p sure i have at some point in my short life have done that even tho i cant rmr the specific time

18. Found out someone was talking about you: uh no, im quite bland person so nobody has no reason to do that irl

19. Met someone who changed you: yeah, every bond changes a person, every new contact can change the way you see the world

20. Found out who your friends are: Yeah? I guess yeah?

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list: Uhhh yeah

GENERAL:

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: idk, i havent used fb in ages so i have no idea who is my friend there anymore

23. Do you have any pets: I dont. But my family has. A russia bobtail, a very cute boy cat

24. Do you want to change your name: Yeah

25. What did you do for your last birthday: nothing? i didnt rly celebrate it myself so uh the basics? maybe some of my relatives came to visit? idk

26. What time did you wake up: 6:40 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: worm, i was chatting w friends

28. Name something you can not wait for: I cant wait to wait to talk to my friends? I cant wait to maybe see my friend this weekend? Something like that, i love all my friends so yeah,  thats probably it atm

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: yesterday

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: only one? hh i have so many things i would want to change but uhh maybe my lack of motivation? or something along those lines

31. What are you listening to right now: day6 i loved you

32. Have you ever talked to a person named tom: Nope

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: a lot of things, but the one i rmr rn is that ppl prefer to say he/she irl when they could just say they, so useless gendering? everything doesent have to be either feminine or masculine, some things can just be. beside gender is just a social construct, so fools, objects dont have genders

34. Most visited website: tumblr and twitter atm

35. Mole/s: uhh i have few on my shoulder/arms

36. Mark/s: dunno

37. Childhood dream: hmm one of the first ones must be a rally driver, i was rly fascinated w race cars back then

38. Hair color: brown

39. Long or short hair: long

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yeah

41. What do you like about yourself: uhh nothing? uhh i like my ability to help ppl? i can comfort? something like that

42. Piercings: 2 ear piercings

43. Blood type: idk

44. Nickname: huh? number one hoe? guest? dunno, i havent thought about that

45. Relationship status: Single

46. Zodiac: Gemini >:3c

47. Pronouns:they/the,

48. Favorite tv show: idk, cant rmr anything

49. Tattoos: no but i think they are rly cool and it would be awesome to get one

50. Right or left handed: Right

51. Surgery: No

52. Piercing: nothing else expect the ones i said previously

53. Sport: nope

54. Vacation: all around the world? 

55. Pair of trainers: cryptic, im not sure whats the question is

MORE GENERAL:

56. Eating: a subway  

57. Drinking: uhh i dont rmr, maybe coca cola? 

58. I’m about to go: nope, im not about to do anythind, im just tryinf to waste time before next lesson

59. Waiting for: hixtape. please. i want it already, like i love you hoseok and take your time but uhh i need it to come out at some time

60. Want: mental stability dbifysdgib no uh i want a lot of stuff at times? but rn i cant come up w anything

61. Get married: wow wow calm down, at first it would just be nice to date someone and do cute stuff like go to museum dates and go to picnics and all that fluff

62. Career: student

WHICH IS BETTER:

63. Hugs or kisses: hugs? they are soft and warm

64. Lips or eyes: eyes, they are the mirror to persons soul and all that jazz

65. Shorter or taller: no preference, like tall 

66. Older or younger: uhh i dont rly care? i mean its okay as long as the age difference is not too much

67. Nice arms or nice stomach: no preference

68. Hookup or relationship: relationship

69. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant? but sometimes troublemaker is better bc u have to make mistakes to grow

HAVE YOU EVER:

70. Kissed a stranger: nope

71. Drank hard liquor: i guess

72. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yeah but not like that i lost them and never have found them again but like one time i lost my glasses at home and couldnt find them the whole day

73. Turned someone down: in order to do that first someone would have to be interested in me so no

74: Sex on the first date: no

75. Broken someone’s heart: i dont think so

76. Had your heart broken: yeah! but it was mostly my own fault

77. Been arrested: nope

78: Cried when someone died: yeah

79. Fallen for a friend: yeah, i think your crush should also be your dear friend? or that may just be my romantic opinion

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. Yourself: nope, its rare if i believe in myself 

81: Miracles: at times?

82. Love at first sight: in some cases?

83. Santa Claus: not rly

84. Kiss on the first date: if it fits the mood

85. Angels: yes

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: uh i feel odd saying real names in tumblr so i wont say it but you pest, you know im talking about you

91: Eye color: brown

92: Favorite movie: ghibli movies?

Tagging:

@hobi-as-my-wings @taehyungmutual @pinkchimins @dnafullver @soufez @yoonn-gi @mysticxalchemist @kuhlista @bowlcutprotag @brendachanblr @aittla @crookedmoonsaultpunk @rockmomsassemble  uhh there is prob not 20 tagged in but if someone wants to do it feel free to say i tagged ya!