#LMAO LOOKING AT MY DRAFTS AND REALIZED I NEVER POSTED OOP

[stuclyblrs]

uhhhh hi s/o to me for never fucking posting this over the summer even tho i wrote it so here’s a very late “first year of college reflection that i put off for too long and now dont rmr everything i wanted to talk about” post :]  even tho my first semester of soph year is almost done lolol so look out for another reflection post in two weeks or so 

im gonna /try/ and organize this but i def i wanna do this for my own sake and as a good post to look back on when i graduate ya know :^) i do wish i had wrote a post first about my expectations but i didnt (((if ur curious before we dive into this post heres class reflections from first semester and heres second semester)))

now one thing i did have was a letter to ourselves that we were required to write for our cohorts so lets look at that a little !! jkjk i cant find it LMAO only thing i rmr from it tho was a gpa goal which i 100% did not meet first semester but my overall gpa for the year reached it so thats good :^) and i can tell i got happier based on what i do rmr

some college life/nyc life

i love it

thats all i really have to say

being in the city is soooo amazing i love just being able to walk everywhere and take public transport when going somewhere far (on a related note my car died so like jakgnj wont have that problem in a city!)

this is all on me tho but i didnt take advantage of living in nyc tho :((( the only time i went to a play is when my mom and aunt came to visit and i only went to one museum and that was the day i moved out cause i wasnt abt to leave without going to one skngeujkg

IM SO SOCIAL NOW !!!!! i didnt rly have any friends outside of school during high school so i never did anything but now !!! i have friends !!! rly good friends too and idk im just really lucky to have met them and a lot of it was just being in the right place at the right time kind of thing so !! if anything im the most social of my friend group lol im always trying to get everyone to do smth together but they never want to :((((

school itself

uhh okay so i am very mixed on this and i think i have more regrets than anything else sigh :/// i went in undecided like most ppl and in all honesty i came out even more lost and confused which (might start to get negative here sorry) is really frustrating and it makes me feel like i wasted a whole year :/// i just knew deep down before i began the year that i didnt want to study something non-stem and i let too many people convince me that i should go for something else and i listened to all of them......... i didnt hate the classes i was taking so it didnt ruin the year for me or anything but im just behind and lost that year to figure out /which/ path i want... given its harder to do stem majors in 3yrs im worried about making this big change in my life b/c what if i fail ??? what if i hate it ??? but im trying smth new and i just hope it works out

college itself tho....... infinitely better than high school. i knew in highschool that it was Bad but coming to college and then coming back home and hearing updates that were going on at my high school and just yeah....... pls it never really hit me just how restrictive high school was - we had two late night fire alarms in my dorm and it was like ??? we can just leave the area if we want ??? we dont have to stay nearby the dorm like how we had to stay with our classes during fires at school ??? idk it was a weird thought that hey, im in control of myself here and i like not having classes for 7hrs straight lmao - for my high school friends reading this i swear it gets better people werent lying about it

IN CONCLUSION idk what else to say lol cause i shouldve done this right when the semester ended.... but given that i was very sad when i moved out i think thats a sign that my first year was more good than it was bad and im just glad that im that im in the college that im in and that ive been having a mostly good experience

[blizabrth]

wip junk

tag games, am i right!? i always lose track of these lol, oops haha. i was tagged by @sothischickshe to gesture vaguely about my wips. i have a lot more wishful wips than this, but these are the ones that i am either currently toying with and/or have Actual Substance thusfar:

A VERY ACTIVE IMAGINATION

i was originally dabbling with this as a longer-form fic, but when i had stepped back for a bit and returned to it, i realized what i had was best as separate vignettes, so i started posting these little fantasies recently under a series. also selfishly because i was overthinking too much and started to doubt what i was writing, so i really just wanted to post things and put them out there to be read. ANYWAY! the next installation i'm working on is 'the dealership', where beth fantasizes about all the dirty, dirty things she and rio could get up to within those glass walls... (what's that about throwing stones?) after that i have thoughts on creating vignettes focusing on The Loft and The Gun, and others, but those are the two subjects that are prominent in planning right now.

THE THORN

@sothischickshe sent in an intimacy prompt a million years ago for "kissing scars" and it's become a monster of a rio character study. the problem is, i'm not sure if i can pull it off? to me, rio is suuuuper emotional. and i know we like to talk about how repressed beth is but like damn look at rio lmao, king doesn't know how to communicate for shit either. as i've worked on this draft, a handful of ~flashbacks have happened too, which are daunting. i explore rio's self-confidence and try to break that down from his perspective; i also attempt to explain the very conservative wardrobe we've seen post-s2 finale. ultimately, it's a complicated wip that i've been toying with a lot. but i recently took a little break from looking at it and then came back last night to read what i had and liked it so! i guess that's promising. hopefully i can finish a first draft and move forward lol.

OUROBOROS (working title lol)

i wanted this to be a simple pwp featuring some in vino veritas... and i GUESS it still is, technically, because they still just go to town on each other but there's also a lot of other working parts that i'm trying to get right. i'm not sure when in the timeline this happens? probably somewhere in an ideal season 3 where the death divorce actually happens or something, idk. anyway, beth is at rio's bar and then she starts talking a lot and spills a lot of her guts and then they have very intense sex all night long lol. the 'ouroboros' working title is a reference to 69ing, it's not that deep i swear. they just want to devour each other.

MELT + A FIVOLOUS PURCHASE

i'm grouping these two together because i'm realizing they are inspired by the same thing: it's so fucking hot where i live right now and i want to take it out on brio. melt is pure pwp ice-play fic, i plucked it out of the ouroboros wip because it didn't exactly fit and well that's it. a fivolous purchase disregards the living room hot tub and turns it into beth buying an above-ground pool and then rio comes over to bother her take a dip. i'm trying to keep it light-hearted/funny while also still sexy. a particularly fun thing i'm playing with in these especially: TEMPERATURE. we've got ice vs intense summer sunshine heat. it's been fun to write the different sensory descriptions here.

BETH X PHOEBE 4X06 CANON DIVERGENCE

this one might actually end up a 2 or 3-part something. i've been working on it since the ep aired. i know beth x phoebe isn't a popular ship by any means so this is pure self-indulgence. i am hesitant to post though because i'd probably consider it a "DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT" fic and idk how to handle that??? idk. i don't care but i don't want people to judge me lmfao, so i may never post it. still, i degrade a cop in it so that's fun.

DREAM WIPS (things i have thought about a lot but haven't written much/anything for)

listed here are my working titles for these ideas. i will expand upon any of these if anyone is interested, just shoot me an ask! FOODIE AU / PIT STOP / THE SILENT TREATMENT / SOCCER MAMI / LINGERIE SHOPPING AVEC RUBY / TO CATCH A THIEF / BATHOME4 IS ONLINE / MANGOES ON THE BEACH PWP / FOUR TIMES BETH WAS PREGNANT AND ONE TIME SHE WASN'T

jfc i wish i could write as prolifically in my actual docs as i do when i just ramble about what i want to write...but anyway so these are my ideas. i'm tinkering a lot. i get in my head a lot and start feeling like my writing isn't good/no one wants this and talk myself out of it way too often, so i used this as an opportunity to try and take an objective look at what i'm writing and you know.... yeah! i like these ideas! a lot! i want to finish them and share them!

tagging for the rambles (but absolutely no pressure): @sothischickshe (tag back biotch), @inyoursheets, @daydreamstew, @foxmagpie, @pynkhues, @dragonturtle, and anyone else who thinks this is fun/will help them write!!! it's a fun exercise i promise! <3

[rynhaswritersblock]

tiktok famous (hc) - part two | p.p.

summary: a whole bunch of dif tiktoks featuring you and bae peter

warnings: chaotic energy, cussing, and BUTTERFLIES

+ + +

- i'm backkkkkkkkk

- so y'all really enjoyed the last tiktok imagine

- and you wanted another

- SO HERE WE GO BABYYYYYYYYY!!

- so basically....

- (just enjoy it)

- i got a lot of tiktok related comments and requests and i hope i remember them all

- (big boobs? whew chile) ANYWAYS SO:

- like pretty much none of them link together so this hc is going to be split into sections of like... blurbs!!

- yayayayayaya

- this one is inspired by @drecming

- so i think most of us know this very special sound..

- ...

- CAN'T TAKE BIG DICK BUT I SUCK ON IT

- y eah

- so as per usual

- you and peter b chillin

- they really do b vibin doe

- OH BY THE WAY

- y'all are dating in this situation :)))))))))

- and as you're binge watching your favorite show you can't stop doing the hand motions to that friggin dance

- aka the epidemic of generation z

- i keep doing the sugar by brockhampton dance i literally can't stop it's fine

- and thank god peter somehow doesn't notice

- like your movements are so subtle but you deadass keep doing it like once per minute

- and so you get up

- like "fuck this, man. if it's stuck in my head i'm at least gonna make a tiktok"

- and so you set it up

- peter's still on the couch in the background

- this boy STILL doesn't really notice what you're doing

- to be fair hsmtmts is a very enticing show ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- but as soon as the audio plays peter recognizes it

- his head WHIPS over to you

can't take big dick but i suck on it

- he raises an eyebrow at you

i ain't fucking with the pussy, got a bump on it

- *eyebrow raise intensifies*

bad bitch put the pussy on me (on me)

- he sits up, watching as your hips roll (oh man)

whip out my dick then i hump on it

- he slightly cringes at the lyrics me too peter

i'm a bad ass bitch, what you lookin at?

- your butt

ima throw that-

- "oH NO YOU DON'T!" he yells, slight smile on his face as he swiftly shoots a web at you, the string wrapping around your waist and spinning you to him

- the song continues to play as you snort, wheezing as he balances you

- the video finishes and you raise your eyebrows at him

- "no throwing it back on camera," he says pointedly

- you tilt your head in a way that screams peter i love you but you and i both know that i can do what i wanna do and over-protectiveness can be toxic

- he sighs

- "okay, you can, but i'd like it better if it were just for me"

...

- HAHAHAHA

- okay NEXT ONE

- this next one is inspired by @ritxal

- in this one you can choose your relationship

- so peter is a natural born softboy

- he didn't choose the softboy life, the softboy life chose him

- but here's the thing

- it was friday night

- you were bored

- and you decided

- it was time for a change

- and so you approached the man

- who happened to be upside down

- because when is he not

- and, ignoring his protests, gave him an e-boy makeover

- poor peter was decked the fuck out

- striped long sleeve

- band tee

- black ripped jeans wITH THE CHAIN

- nike socks and af1s

- beanie

- and most importantly

- black nails and a little black heart under his left eye

- just picture it p lease

- and it his transformation was posted on your account to forever embarrass him

- and you lowkey found this look a lil wee bit ATTRACTIVE

- whatever

- okey this one's for you @lilmissquackson !!!!!!!

- y'all ever seen the without me (halsey) ones??

- ye

- even if you haven't you'll still get it lol

- so you're in class

- learning about sokovia because history and shit

- and, bored as hecc, you decide to whip out your phone and copy this video you'd seen

- you begin filming and place your right hand on top of peter's left (yay classmates!! sitting next to each other WHOOP!)

- his gaze is hard on his paper as he continues to scribble down notes

- you turn the camera to him for a bit and you're like yes perfect

- and then you return the camera and pull your hand away

- and he REACHES OVER AND TAKES YOUR HAND BACK

- AND YOU'RE LIKE  Y E S

- IT WORKED OUT

- PLUS HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW AND HE'S SO CUTE

- you put the phone down, smiling, adjusting your hand a little before you realize you can't take notes anymore because your hand is occupied and using your left hand just aint it period (a/n: im so sorry if any of y'all are left handed lol but pretend y'all are in opposite positions so he has your left hand haha)

- and it's then that he looks at you

- and if his eyes don't make you MELT

- okay i'm sorry that last one was mediocre but you get the point

- alright so like in this process of writing this i've been struggling a bit with details and stuff and making it sound good and funny so they're gonna be short and sweet bc i literally don't know What To Do :)))))))))))))))))

- back to your regularly scheduled programming hell yeah

- this one's for you, @drecming

- back at it again with the ideas!!!! fuck yes!!!

- okay SO

- you seen those "i'm on my savage shit" ones?

- where the guys hand is on the girl's thigh (OR IF YOU'RE A DUDE READING THIS JUST STILL IMAGINE YOUR OWN LEG I TRY TO KEEP THIS GENDER NEUTRAL BUT I FORGET AND PLUS RN IM JUST EXPLAINING THE TIKTOK KJSDBVIBUV) and then she pulls her leg away and the music is like

iM oN mY sAvAgE sHiT

- anyways

- peter's hand is just vibing on your leg

- for you dirty minded folks no it's not vibrating or doing all that janky shit we're children of god here

- says the one who just said the s word OOPS

- and you, as per usual, pull up the sound and start recording

- peter hears the music and is like Huh????

- and then you pull your leg away, grinning at him cheekily before he grabs you, phone flying out of your hand and he pulls you into his lap

"my thigh"

- you give him a look like excuse me sir hUh

- and his face is just like

0_0

- before he smiles at you and laughs and says he's kidding

- but then he stops laughing

...

- and raises an eyebrow

- WOAHHHHHHHH SPICY

- zooooweeeeemamaaaaaaa

- aight moving on

- THE NEXT ONES ARE INSPIRED BY YOURS TRULY!! YAY ME FOR HAVING IDEAS FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE!!!!

- so i'm sure you and like everyone @ your school (if you're in school.. lol) is familiar with this one

- i'm just gonna let y'all experience it idk why i've been telling the tiktok before idek sajbsidvb

- so you're in class right

- doing nothing bc your teacher sucks :////

- but its fine bc it's a fun class

- so you set up your phone with you and peter in the screen and start recording

- peter looks at the phone and then you, confused

"hey, stop!" you say in a whiny voice

- mans is like Uhhhhh what did i Do

"stop! omg peter sTop!" you're smiling at him

- he's so confused

- and then as you're talking

- your voice suddenly lowers into your lower register

"stop!! peter stop it- I SAID STOP."

- his eyes widen and a confused smile is on his face as he jumps back slightly

"YOU KEEP PLAYING *smacks your hand on the table* TOO DAMN MUCH."

- the video stops and you and peter are just silent for a second before busting out laughing

"you've never seen those?"

"no????"

"god peter, you live under a rock"

- the duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand: hey! bonk bonk bonk got any grapes?

- sorry i randomly thought of that

- okay NEXT

- this is the one that hits different

- gets you in your FEELS

- DAMN

- we all know peter's a gamerboy

- so he's just chilling playing minecraft on the xbox or something

- what a fuckin nerd

- jk minecraft slaps so hard

- anyways

- as per usual, you set up the camera and start filming

- and you

- i think you know what i'm talkin about

- you slip underneath his arms

- and start crawling into his lap

- and the SECOND he registers what's going on he fucking YEETS the controller behind him and wraps his arms around you

- and when i say yeets

- i mean like

- ZOOM

- you bury your arm in the crook of his neck and you feel him physically relax under you (heartbeat racing though of course) and hold you tighter, planting gentle kisses along your neck and shoulder

- ..

- god FUCK talk about B U T T E R F L I E S

- y'all are going to HATE ME for this one

- prepare yourselves

- so you guys are just chilling in peters room as y'all normally do

- and peter goes to the bathroom

- and like stupid adorable fuck he is

- mans left his phone on silly goose

- and of course

- we all know you can't help yourself

- so like a NORMAL HUMAN BEING

- you decide to snatch it and go look at his tiktok drafts, god knows why

- and the first one you tap

- WHEW CHILE

- your jaw drops to the floor as soon as you read the text on the video

"so apparently when a guy's chain dangles it's attractive..?"

- heart skips a beat

- hands are sweaty

- knees spaghetti

- you look up to make sure the bathroom door is still shut before you whip out your phone and start videoing

- peter is looking nervously cute into the camera before he leans out of shot,

- you know what's next

- and right as the beat drops

- he shows up, SHIRTLESS, with his cross necklace (you've only seen him wear once lmao) dangling down

- not to mention the goddamn CURLS hanging down

- and your heartbeat quickens

- ... both heartbeats...

- then fucking PETER JUST STROLLS INTO THE ROOM

- ALL INNOCENT N SHIT AS IF HE DIDN'T HAVE A VIDEO ON HIS PHONE THAT LITERALLY MADE YOU READY TO RISK IT ALL

- "why do you have my phone?"

- you've never slammed it onto the bed so fast

- "no reason"

- he raises a suspicious eyebrow before picking up his phone and unlocking it

- and the fear in his eyes when the screen opens to his video

- he looks back up at you, mouth slightly open in fear/awe/ohshitohgodohFUCK

- and you and your goddamn mouth-

- "peter, it's hot"

- and oh how the look in his eyes changed

😈

+ + +

until next time <3

[fueledbysprite]

abandoned wips masterlist

so not too long ago i did an insta poll asking if i should expose all my abandoned fic drafts cause i mean it’s not like theyre ever gonna see the light of day otherwise. i was going to do it when i hit 3k kudos on ao3 and i did so i suppose it has come time for me to expose my mistakes

for obvious reasons, don’t repost these (idk why anyone would lol) but if you really like one of these and want to see it continued, just hit up my ask box and i may or may not consider~

Miscellaneous Fandoms:

Ninjago: Zephyr - a Morro backstory fic bc the hageman bros refuse to feed me more content of my son. barely started it but yknow its there

Miraculous Ladybug/BoBoiBoy: this failed attempt at a fanginette fic bc @secretagentspydetectiveninja got me invested even tho writers block is a binch hahshs

BoBoiBoy:

kokotiam gang angst that reminded me i cannot for the life of me write emotional angst (or any angst for that matter oop)

ramenzo (and kaifang) angst that i churned out on a saturday afternoon on a writing spike instead of doing homework bc I Do Not Control the Writing Juice

au where bbb is a forest guardian(?) and fang just wants away from Society (same fang same) i will probably be yearning for woodland aus till the day i die bc who *doesnt* wanna ditch everything and go live in the middle of the woods amirite?

ramenzo n boifang water fight bc you cant convince me these idiots dont get up to ridiculous shenanigans on their downtime

abandoned draft for the sequel to the og ramenzo fic (dont bother reading it literally nothing happens i swear)

i literally don’t remember where i was going with this i think it was supposed to be fang introspection but idk??

uhh kaifang with ramenzo vibes i think this was gonna be? i genuinely don’t remember anymore oop-

RAMENZO IN QUARANTINE yes this one was regular au (i mean duh) and it’s a shame i never ended up finishing it-

i am actually goboifang t r a s h...until i realized im going to have to make all the food by myself and i never learned to make food :’)) (fr if anyone provides me with any kind of fanon gbf content i will love you forever pls)

this...exists even tho i honestly prefer it didnt but ramenzo is ramenzo n ramen has freckles i will fite u on this (dont read it pls)

if anyone wants ramenzo crumbs (and i mean that quite practically) then feel free to consume the Specks

dont read this pls im begging just dont lets yeet it into the void it doesnt exist~ I Do Not See It

update: i discovered this uhh kaifang post-bora ra incident thing in my other drive

Miraculous Ladybug:

okay forewarning there are wayyyy too many of these so im skipping the ones that are sequels/dependent on other fics for context just to spare myself from having to sort through this mountain

i was planning to participate in chlonath week 2k19 (unfortunately for chlonath nation I Do Not Control the Hyperfixation oop) if you want context then ask

marcnath crumbs thats it thats the doc

oh look allya is self projecting again (writing is still pain) (marcnath)

for the one who requested chloenette with the dialogue prompt i am so sorry

idk why this feels like something ive posted before but then again all lovesquare is the same to me (dead) so who knows im not gonna bother checking hshsh (marichat)

chlonath go to comic con or sth idk chloe is tsundere as always (or would have been anyway if i ever ended up Finishing this)

i *think* this was based on a @terrible-miraculous-ladybug-aus post but heck if i remember now- (lukanette??)

i have absolutely no recollection as to where i was going with this but if anyone finds the concept interesting then by all means go ahead n snatch it- (manon finds the miraculous i guess?)

this is a great. opening. to a chloe fic. that doesnt exist. oof :,)

caline bustier’s home for orphans amirite (i mean she basically already adopted the whole class so)

im genuinely not a fan of the jealous!lover trope but someone in the marcnath server wanted some at one point so i. attempted. and failed but you know thats to be expected at this point :’3

oh look allya is projecting her writing struggles onto marc again is anyone surprised?

theres probably a museum brotp story in here but it doesnt exist and at this point it never will rip

oh good lord not this again i genuinely managed to forget about it for a while until now-

i just read the first line and im already reeling what the heck is this nathanette(??)

WHY IS THERE MARICHAT IN MY WIP FOLDER WHAT

allya stop projecting onto emo weebs challenge failed

i really wanna know where the context for chlonath skiing trip came from i literally have 0 recollection of this at all??

YO I ACTUALLY REMEMBER THE CONTEXT FOR THIS ONE anyway nath n aroace!alix arranged marriage au anyone?? well too bad cause i abandoned it oop-

ahahahahahahaha wdym i wrote 7k of chlonath and then ditched it i would never do that lmao-

i think this was a hunger games au uh

something something marcnath

marcnath angst i guess? *allya pls stop trying to write angst we’ve already established that is not a thing you can do*

something something chlonath

im never gonna forgive @powerdragonmoon for the fact that i thought “beecock” while glancing over this to figure out wth was going on. cholaon works here too tho so that is what i shall call it //sideways glare at moon

take your otp. now put them on a trampoline. but heaven forbid you ever finish the fic- (chlonath if it wasnt obvious)

nathanette doll au from forever ago with @lotus-duckies that was a real concept its a shame i have 0 commitment

i wanna call this lukanathanette but i honestly don’t remember where i was going with it so idk

hi uhm what is this and why is it so depressing allya fr quit self projecting on emo tomatoes oml

chlonath established relationship i guess??

museum brotp go skating?? is that what this is?

how much chlonath do i hAVE also chloe u tsundere

nathaniel is Yearning n tbh i dont blame him cause same (ft. marc)

i could swear this was gonna be luklonath (chlolukanath??) but i wouldnt be able to remember-

if anyone can figure out what’s going on with marc pls tell me bc i dont-

cholaon but theres no context

Oh god im finally done good lord that’s all of em i hope i never have to look at a mlb doc again in my life anyway pls be grateful n enjoy the crumbs n stuff thanks i sacrificed my sanity for this-