#I HATE DEREK SHEPARD WITH A FUCKING PASSION

[m00ngbin]

Ohhhh I hate greys anatomy they're all SO. HORRIBLE.

[actualhockeyrobot]

Nurseydex & Acting Class

Eyoooooooooooooooo, the CP Resident Shakespeare Ho/Theater Major is back with more shamelessly using these characters as a means to talk about my major Nurseydex Antics!

As anyone who follows me knows by now, I’m a theater major. Dex and Nursey are comedy gold, and the thought of them working with any of the texts I’ve worked with is just DELIGHTFUL.

(Click here and here for my other Shakespeare Ho/theater major posts)

So without further ado!

Dex needs and art credit. Just one more fucking art credit. But his schedule is insane and there’s only one he can take this semester

it’s an acting class

He doesn’t want to do it. Mostly because his boyfriend will be I N S U F F E R A B L E

But he just wants to get this over with so he registers and just waits for Nursey to find out

Nursey is delighted. And registers for that class, too.

“YOU DON’T NEED ANOTHER ART CREDIT, DEREK!” “Dude, you really think I’m gonna miss this?”

Dex doesn’t really know what to expect going in, but he definitely wasn’t expecting the prof (let’s call him Casey) to be this hot middle aged guy who dresses like Indiana Jones and lives in a cabin and recites Shakespeare to trees

(we’re talking Adventure Indy, not Professor Indy)

(what no I’m not basing him on my prof Kerry who is also currently directing me in Julius Caesar why would you think that)

Nursey and Casey hit it off because Casey is this great mix of Passionate and IDGAF and Nursey wants to be him when he grows up

Dex’s main reaction to him is “?????????” until he starts talking about his cabin in the woods and then they bond over Practical Shit like fixing window panes and Nature

(the rest under the cut because this always happens my posts are always long af)

basically this class turns out to be acting but also Theater Lit because Casey wants them all to actually KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THESE PLAYS ARE, DAMMIT, THAT’S THE ONLY WAY YOU DO THEM PROPERLY

Nursey knows all this shit and is in HEAVEN

(but Casey also fucking BLOWS HIS MIND when he talks about Othello being Iago vs Desdemona rather than Iago vs Othello and that Iago loses because her goodness still withstands everything and Nursey walks around in a daze for the rest of the day Dex is worried)

(he also rants about how he was cast as Othello instead of Iago in high school)

(Casey and Dex just kind of exchange a look like “does he know....?” “yes he knows just let him continue yelling about being robbed”)

the class is basically a bunch of freshmen who are going into the theater department next year and this class is require + Nursey and Dex

Dex is.... honestly just worried about keeping all the playwrights straight

“Dude, it’s nbd. If there’s a closeted gay guy and a sad southern belle who goes crazy, it’s Tennessee Williams. Bonus points if there’s a dramatic mom or the girl goes to an asylum. If all the guys just kinda... SEEM gay, it’s Oscar Wilde.”

“Wait I thought Tennessee Williams hated the American Dream.”

“Well, you’re not wrong, but you’re thinking of Arthur Miller.”

“He’s the one who married Marilyn Monroe, right?”

“Eeyup.”

Dex Cannot with Eugene O’Neill’s dialog

“nurse wtf is this”

“Ah yes, I remember when I first looked upon the unholy fucker that was Desire Under the Elms”

Dex’s horrified reaction to pretty much everything Sam Shepard’s ever written

“WHY DOES HE ALWAYS WRITE ABOUT INCEST”

“idk man”

“WHY DOES HE STILL WANNA SLEEP WITH HER WHEN HE KNOWS SHE’S HIS SISTER”

“idk man”

“JESUS FUCK, THE BABY WAS BURIED IN THE CORN FIELD?!”

“it’s called Buried Child what did you expect”

“I DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD BE  L I T E R A L”

Nursey and Dex getting into the DI S C O URS E over whether or not The Cherry Orchard by Anton Chekhov is a tragedy or a comedy

(Dex says comedy, Nursey says tragedy)

“FUCK YEAH NORA, YOU LEAVE HIS ASS”

“ah so you finished it”

*cue long discussion about how Henrick Ibsen being like “fuck you women are people” and August Strindberg being like “Women Are Sexy And I’m Scared”*

Casey absolutely Loves Them because class discussions are fucking Fire with them around

(after those particular class sessions they /race/ back to one of their dorms/the haus depending on what year this is and bang)

(the class discussions are basically foreplay for them)

they do like... actually act in this class, too

Dex has to do Fool For Love by Sam Shepard for his midterm and is still H O R R I F I E D by everything this man writes but you know it’s not so bad, his scene partner’s really nice, and Nursey helps him memorize his lines so it could be worse but holy shit his character is fucking hIS SISTER

Nursey does a scene from The Three Sisters by Chekhov.

“I’m just saying, why doesn’t Andrei just TELL Natasha he wants to be a professor in Moscow????”

“Derek that’s the point”

for their finals, they get to pick partners, and Nursey calls dibs on Dex because of course he does

“Dex. Hamlet and Horatio. We HAVE to.”

“wait.... they’re gay, too?!”

“WILL WHY ARE YOU EVEN SURPRISED ANYMORE DO I NEED TO MAKE YOU A PHYSICAL LIST OF QUEER SHAKESPEARE CHARACTERS”

Dex is Horatio to Nursey’s Hamlet

“Derek, you were born to play Hamlet.” “I feel like I should be insulted.”

they do the scene where Horatio tells Hamlet that he saw his dad’s ghost and he plays it like Horatio is Definitely In Love with Hamlet and Hamlet is definitely in love right back but he’s Distracted because MY DAD IS DEAD AND I HAVE TO GO BE EMO

they perform and the freshmen are like “I can’t believe I never realize how gay this was”

they get an A