#I WROTE MUSIC FOR THISSSS

[nymphomatique]

idk if anyone’s said or like headcannoned this before but I JUST KNNNOOWWWW nerd!miguel has the filthiest taste in music. lmk if you guys agree!!!!

THISSSS 🧏🏾‍♀️

he definitely listens to the most vulgar shit ever like you’re getting into it and he puts on a playlist (he begged u and even though you rolled your eyes you find you couldn’t say no to him lmao) and it’s like the most freak nasty sht ever 😭

and you’re looking at him dumbfounded cause looking at him you’d be so unassuming in any other case!

his annoying ass just looks at you with a shit eating grin and shrugs and goes to kiss you, just being so sensual with you the rest of the night while the most beautiful sex playlist is rolling in the back LMFAOAOAOAO

this is the song i had in mind when i wrote/read this ask:

apple music

spotify

[harrysfolklore]

Saoirse ronan as face claim

Please

anyone asked for sone exes to lovers?? hope you like thissss

if you like what i post CONSIDER SENDING ME A TIP, i write for free and these help a lot, every tip gets you a special blurb of your choice 🤍

ask me anything | masterlist | likes and reblogs are appreciated !

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yourinstagram Venice glam ✨

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ynfan1 gorgeous doll

florencepugh baby you are the love of my life

↳ harryfan1 is she quoting harry

tchalamet ❤️

harryfan2 omg she went to venice did she run into harry

↳ ynfan2 stop bringing him up

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ynupdates YN out in Venice tonight 🤔

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ynfan1 HUHHH

ynfan2 is that harry??

harryfan1 that’s NOT my man

harryfan2 not the exes rekindling

ynfan3 BUSTED

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harryupdates Harry in Chicago today !

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harryfan1 HE LOOKS SO HOT

harryfan2 i can’t wait for the chicago shows

harryfan3 golfing legend

ynfan1 he’s hawt

liked by ynfan1, ynfan2 and 3,936 others

ynupdates YN with Tommy Bruce (Harry Styles manager) out in Chicago today !

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ynfan1 HELLO???

harryfan1 BITCH THE PLEASING HOODIE LAJSI

ynfan2 omfg they’re both in chicago and she’s wearing his brand and hanging with his manager i’m starting to believe the rumors that they’re back together

harryfan2 I MISS HER

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yourinstagram Date night… i guess

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ynfan1 ohhhh girl

florencepugh we need some catch up to do

annetwist ❤️

↳ ynfan1 hARRY’S MOM?

↳ harryfan1 stop anne has always been nice to her

harryfan2 omfg they’re soooo back together

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harrystyles Love On Tour. Chicago I. October, 2022.

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harryfan1 MY BABYY

ynfan1 OMFG YN LIKED

jefezoff 🙌🏻🙌🏻

harryfan2 not his ex liking this 😭

ynfan2 yn liking this when there’s rumors of them being back together is soooo messy

liked by ynfan1, harryfan1 and 4,015 others

ynupdates YN at Harry Styles second Chicago show tonight 😳 via a friend’s instagram story

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ynfan1 OMFGGGG

harryfan1 they’re soooo back together

ynfan2 she can attend one of his shows and that doesn’t mean they’re back together

harryfan2 harry wrote little freak about her for a reason

liked by lizzobeeating, yourinstagram and 1,556,826 others

harrystyles Love On Tour. Chicago II. October, 2022.

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harryfan1 LOVED THE OUTFIT

annetwist ❤️❤️

ynfan1 yn liked again pleaseee

harryfan2 harry if you’re not single give us a sign

ynfan2 showing those arms with his lady in the crowd

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yourinstagram Music for whatever you want

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ynfan1 OMGGG

florencepugh 👀👀

harryfan1 UNHINGED

ynfan2 and harry liked too 😭

zendaya ❤️

harryfan2 okay but the way she looks at him

liked by harryfan1, ynfan2 and 4,097 others

theharrytea Looks like Harry is dating YN again ☕️

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harryfan1 I KNEWW IT

ynfan2 do they mean who they think they mean with “person in power position” 🤔

harryfan2 OMFG THIS TEA IS BOILING

ynfan2 okay but who wouldn’t want them to be together again 😭

liked by ynfan2, harryfan1 and 4,098 others

ynupdates YN spotted once again at Harry’s show tonight

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ynfan1 SHES SOOOOO

harryfan2 and at the vip booth too

ynfan2 shes unbothered i love her

harryfan1 she is the og

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harrystyles Love On Tour. Chicago III. October, 2022.

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harryfan1 MY BABYYY

harris_reed ❤️

harryfan2 this picture is so good

yourinstagram Nice

↳ ynfan1 SHES SOOOOOOOO

↳ harryfan2 HELP ME

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harryupdates Harry in Chicago today with some fans

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harryfan1 hottt

harryfan2 see he’s alone, you look like clowns saying that he’s back with yn

↳ ynfan1 lmaooo they dont need to be together at all times

↳ harryfan3 yeah and yn is going to every show in chicago bc shes just a big fan, be serious

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 3,109 others

harryupdates “I’ve got very very special people for me in the audience tonight, my mum and my sister who flew all the way from England to be here, and you know, someone who made their way back here… but we won’t talk about that right now!” - Harry in Chicago tonight !

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harryfan1 HELL WHAT DOES HE EVEN MEAN

ynfan1 he’s so strange

harryfan2 yn, anne and gemma were together the entire show

ynfan2 NOT HIM SOFT LAUNCHING

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annetwist Pieces of my heart ♥️♥️♥️

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harryfan1 AWEEE

jefezoff 🥺

harryfan2 IS THAT YN IN THE CORNER ???

↳ ynfan1 IT IS 😭

yourinstagram Missed you so much Annie 💖

↳ annetwist I missed you too darling

↳ harryfan3 THE FAMILIES BONDING

↳ ynfan2 HA AND YOU SAID THEY WEREN’T BACK TOGETHER

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harrystyles Love On Tour. Chicago IV. October, 2022

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harryfan1 HARRYYY

lizzobeeating 😂

yourinstagram My sugarboo

↳ harrystyles I’m levitating x

↳ dualipa Love you angels 💖💖

↳ ynfan1 OMFG AND DUA IS HERE TOO

↳ harryfan2 IM GOING INSANEEEE

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yourinstagram Chicago was eventful

view all 71,736 comments

ynfan1 OH GIRL

florencepugh True love always wins ❤️

↳ harryfan1 DA SHADEEEE

annetwist 💖💖💖

ynfan2 so happy that they’re back together

harryfan2 LMAO everyone who said they weren’t back together looks silly

harrystyles Delighted to be eventful with you x

↳ harryfan3 WHAT EVEN 😭

↳ ynfan1 istg he’s so strange

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harrystyles Love On Tour. Chicago V. October, 2022.

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harryfan1 YOU'RE SO BABY

jefezoff Nice

yourinstagram I missed my rockstar girlfriend activities

↳ harryfan2 SHE DIDN'T

↳ ynfan1 OH SHE DID

annetwist ❤❤

taglist: @cucciolafaerie @eleanordaisy @sunflowersndpeaches @golden-hoax @alienorknight @daydreamingofmatilda @sunflowervolume66 @vanteguccir @ivyproblems @ayeshathestyles @stylesmygucci @gimsaysay @rosaliedepp @dontworrysunflower @milfrrynation @manifestrry y @iceebabies @harrystylesrecs s @pleasingrryyy @harianaswhore e @leadmetogarden @abeanontoast @grapejuice-rry @vrittivsanghavi i @msolbesg @tati813 @sad1esgf @ivegotparticulartaste @wobblymug @eviesaurusrex @olivialovesh @itsgabbysblog @theekyliepage @gumballavocadoharry @watermelonsugacry @be-with-me-so-happily @a-strange-familiar @reveriehs @musicforcinemas @rafeyyyyy @tinydeskwriter @noooovaaaaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @mxltifxnd0m @rach2602 @balletdancerry @b-reads-things @juiceboxrry

[libra-stellium]

My recent Venus transits!

Description from Planets in transit - Robert Hand

Venus trine Pluto (Apr 1 - Apr 5)

Transit intensifies your emotional expression and makes relationships more intense

It's already 4/16 and I swear I'm still feeling this lol leading up to the eclipse on 4/8 I remember thinking about "omg....am I happy..??" bc I was feeling joy randomly like walking around smiling type of shit lmao and at first I was like omg this is embarrassing but then I looked back to exactly a year ago and I was definitely cosplaying joy oops but not anymore!

Under Venus-Pluto love is not an intellectual abstraction, it is felt and expressed through the mind, emotions and body

So real! I go through periods where I don't listen to music and then I remember music exists and I get obsessed and I could feel every single song and I was telling everyone about what I was currently loving lol I also started getting back into fandoms and like being part of the group excitement feels so great!

Transit is capable of producing profound and useful psychological insights, don't be afraid of them

My pluto is in the 9H and I was having a lot of thoughts about religion lol I'm not religious at all but I was thinking it's so crazy how in the same weekend I was thinking "wow...religion is probably the worst thing to happen to humanity!" One of my friends was getting baptized to dedicate her life to the lord like...omg lol and I was talking to my aunt about religion too bc in 2020 when everything was closed she had literally been a completely different person mentally, a better person, and the only change was that she wasn't going to church and now she's back and her thoughts are insufferable to me again lmao

Venus opposite Sun (Apr 5 - Apr 8)

Transit introduces pleasantness into your life through good times, agreeable relationships, sexual attraction and friendship

This transit was such a fun time! Been feeling very happy and it was the weekend and the day of the eclipse and I after the eclipse went exact! I was talking to a lot of my friends more than usual and we were cracking jokes the whole time lol tears streaming down my face jokes lmao

The problems you'll confront are overindulgence, lack of self discipline, and unwillingness to work

Yeah I did overdo it at happy hour 4/5 and felt like shit 4/6 lol and I looked at my budget app to see I ordered food every single day from 4/1-4/7 and I was like omg that's embarrassing!

Venus trine Jupiter (Apr 10 - Apr 14)

One of the best transits that brings grace, ease, and pleasant social interactions

Loved this transit! I have venus sextile jupiter natally so as a native venus-jupiter girlie I was thriving! It was great how easily I was making people laugh lmao I love that so much!! I was with friends on 4/13 and had a great time even tho the event we were at tried to scam us! I even made one of my coworkers laugh lmao I'm remote so it was over email and she said "that is hysterical!!!" to a joke I made about our case I was so proud!

You may meet someone who will be of great service later

Idk if it counts as "meeting" but I had a meeting with my mentor on 4/11 and she connected me with someone over email and we scheduled to talk in june lol hopefully the "great service" is her helping get a new job!

There may be a romantic interest throughout the day but transit isn't strong enough to bring about a major relationship

Thissss!! Okay when I wrote out the transit I was about to leave this out bc I have not been dating and I've only been hanging out with my own friends if I leave my apt lol but on 4/13 my friend's sister invited some of her friends and this guy was so obvious with his crush on me lol he wasn't my type but it was adorable how he was like intrigued by me saying basic things and the place didn't have a lot of seating and after getting a drink I came back to the table and he like jumped up to let me sit LMFAO ngl i love when men are obsessed with me like this

Transit benefits financial interest, good day to invest in entertainment, leisure activities or the arts

I finally got paid that half of my check that was missing! And it worked out so perfectly bc I kept my money in my checking and didn't transfer it to my credit card in case they didn't pay me again and when I saw I got paid i transferred it immediately on the same day my card statement closes and usually the bank takes days to process but they did it in less than 12hrs and my statement closed at $0!! love that for me lol

Not a good day to start things that require a lot of energy, you may be inclined to sit around and do nothing

I was chilling on 4/14 watching TV and tiktok and then my bestie and I made some event reservations for our trip!

Venus opposite Venus (Apr 12 - Apr 16)

Pleasant transit, you feel at ease with yourself and self-indulgent, which is fine as long as you don't have work to be done

Real chill time! I'm starting to look around like....it's suspicious i'm not doing anything

You are likely to buy some expensive frivolity on a whim or an expensive pasttime only to regret the cost later

The only thing I bought was the amsterdam city card thing and a flight to come back home from NY lmfaooo that better not be what I regret later! The flight we bought we got first class seats only because the economy ticket plus paying for a bag was $10 less than first class lol that's a no brainer to me!

[incandescentflower]

Not identity crisis anon but my fav songs atm are

1. Dark Paradise by Lana del Ray. Emotional and I guess disturbing to some, talks about death, grief.

2. Liability by Lorde the story of my life lol, like to know what you think of it

3. Martha by Tom Waits like if you listen to any song listen to thissss most heart wrenching song ever, love to know what you think of it

4. Color Rush by Ryu Su Jeong didn't like the show but I love the opening and the concept was interesting might liked it better if better writers wrote it like you

5. Sideshow by Blue Magic

hey there new anon! I didn't expect to get music recs and flattery. how lucky am i?

I love that Lana del Ray song. It's beautiful.

I enjoy Lorde. I really like Team. I took a listen to this one and anon, so pretty and sad. And relatable. I get this feel.

Tom Waits is classic.

The Color Rush song is nice. I honestly only watched one episode. My feelings about soul mate/destiny stories is there has to be a factor of choice involved. Color Rush felt more foced and it just wasn't for me. But I know plenty of people who loved it. But your comment my writer is super nice. Thank you.

And 70's R&B. this is an impressive depth and breadth of music taste.

Thanks for sharing! It was fun checking these out!

[just-rogi]

I’m thissss close to snapping and making a full on Sarah Z style hour long YouTube video on the fall of superwholock and why doctor who holds up when SPN and Sherlock did not. Spoilers: you could tell from the in universe representation of the fans with SPN and Sherlock adding fangirl insert characters shown to be stupid obsessive queer and crazy whereas the doctor who fan insert -osgood- was a hero who represented what it means to be human. Supernatural made fun of destiel shippers IN THE SHOW Sherlock called fans who speculated about Reichenbach Fall stupid and crazy (both shows making fun of the fans for being queer as well) where as osgood is nerdy, excitable, socially awkward and above all else, kind. Osgood is offered a position as a full time companion and she says she wants to go more than anything but she has to stay here, defend the earth, to which the doctor replies “by the way, I’m a huge fan” THIS SPEAKS VOLUMES ABOUT THE TREATMENT OF FANS BY THE SHOW!! Doctor who the show and the doctor the character love the curious unique individuals who are interested in the adventures of a madman with a box who choses to help people and believes all life is special. Between Johnlock, Reichenbach, Destiel, Charlie, the musical episode, and the destiel confession supernatural and Sherlock have showed time and time again that they actively hate their audience (if you were around for the final episode of Sherlock you remember how bad it was for fans and i don’t need to remind anyone of “all gays go to hell all cars go to heaven” )

Something also has to be said for the fact that doctor who is the only show of the three without a huge decade long queer baiting (ok the whole Clara thing is on thin ice I’ll be honest but they fixed that with bill in season 10) scandal that ends in blatant homophobia (note it’s not homophobic BECAUSE destiel or johnlock didn’t end up together, it’s homophobic because of the years of intentional queer baiting that predates the end of each program) when your fan base is predominantly queer this is not advisable.

And of course this doesnt take into account the massive change that happened after dashcon, doctor who had an established 50 year history by that point and solid writing so while it fell from its godlike position on tumblr it was still relatively popular after that cultural shift. Also- and this may be controversial - the writing in doctor who is better. I’m sorry but it is. Rewatching some of the 2010-2015 episodes I’m reminded that when doctor who is good, it’s GOOD. The oncoming storm speech. The 9th doctor and the dalek prisoner, “I would never” , a good man goes to war, “the laws of time obey me” , the fucking 50th war doctor speeches, the zygon inversion speech, “the one thing you never put in a trap… me”, all of hell bent, and of course the Van Gogh episode. Honestly on writing alone doctor who absolutely bodies Sherlock and supernatural which is shocking because moffat wrote for Sherlock as well but it never felt as powerful it always felt very clever but once you knew the answer to whatever mystery Sherlock was solving the intrigue just faded. Whereas the more you watch episodes like Vincent and the Doctor, the Day of the Doctor, or Hell Bent, the more you fall in love with the writing.

I could go on and on and on for ages about writing, character relatability , overarching themes and morals, the unique mechanic of regeneration, the doctor companion dynamic, and the question of “are humans inherently good or evil” and so many more nuanced reasons as to why doctor who stands the test of time (pun only slightly intended) but I will not that is too long and I am tired but know that I could if I wanted because the evidence is there

Tldr: doctor who isn’t bad you guys are just mean

[imaginedisish]

This Charming Man (Colin Ritman x Reader) (Bandersnatch)

A/N: OMG FINALLY SOME PURE COLIN FLUFF. NO FIGHTING, NO CRAZY STUFF. PURE. FRICKEN. FLUFF. THIS IMAGINE IS 100% CERTIFIED CUTE. An anon requested some cozy, cute fluff w/Colin so I WROTE THISSSS! I’m getting some requests I really wanna do tho...like y'all have some AMAZING IDEAS!!! I hope you all enjoy this oneeeee hehehe :)  P.S....This may sound dumb but lemme just pour my stupid heart out real quick:

Y’all make my heart go PITTER PATTER. I just want to thank you guys for all the love. I was so nervous to start writing again, but I feel so comfortable. I wanna thank you all for that <3 OKAY ON WITH DA SHOW!

Summary: Colin comforts you after a long, tiring day with some cuddles, snuggles, and Star Wars :)

Warnings: A little bit a language...but that’s it <3

The winter air was cold and dry as you walked back to your flat. You rubbed your arms up and down, trying to stay warm. 

Almost there, You think to yourself, shivering. Your day was far from perfect, and you wanted nothing more than to be home with Colin. 

You had been studying music at university for quite some time now. It was never exactly a cake walk, but recently it had proposed a huge challenge for you. 

Normally, you loved performing your music for people. After all, it was what you wanted to do with your life. However, today, you simply weren’t in the right mindset. You knew something was off when you woke up. 

Your morning proved to be a mess. You think back to earlier, how the shower curtain fell in the middle of your shower, and how you dropped your favorite eyeshadow pallet, the colors falling out into a mess of dust on the floor. 

“You’re going to be amazing, love,” Colin tried to tell you as you walked out the door. “Do your best, and you’ll succeed, I know you will.” You loved that boy with your whole heart, but he was wrong this time. 

Things were going completely fine. That is, until you began to play your guitar solo. Your finger picking was completely off, plucking wrong string after wrong string. Deciding to cut the solo short, you began to play the melody again. But, even then you couldn’t get the chords right. 

You were extremely embarrassed about it, especially since you had written the lyrics and composed the entire piece. 

All you wanted at this point was to go home, and be with Colin. Unfortunately, there was a big chance Colin would still be working. It was Monday, his late day. 

And you really hated Mondays because of that. 

You finally approach your building, and you make your way inside. You climb up the many flights of stairs until you reach your floor. You proceed to walk towards your door. 

You unlock the door, and trod into your flat, feet shuffling tiredly across the wood floor. To your surprise, you see Colin sitting at the kitchen table, his feet up, and his nose buried in his well read copy of 1984 by George Orwell. A joint hangs precariously from his lips. 

The corners of your mouth turn up a the sight of that platinum blonde hair. Colin must have gotten off of work early, for me, You think to yourself. 

Colin looks up, his crystal blue eyes hide behind his silver frames. Colin grins like a child at the possibility that his little surprise of getting home early made your day. He was right, it really did. That boy would do absolutely anything to make you happy.

He puts the book down, takes his feet off the marble table, and slides the chair back. Colin hops to his feet, and practically runs to make his way over to you. 

Colin takes off his glasses with a certain bravado that makes your heart beat fast. Colin cups the right side of your face with his hand, pressing a light kiss on your lips. You hum in response, feeling more relaxed already.

He slowly pulls his pale, red lips from yours. Even after being together for so long, Colin’s affect on you refuses to waiver. Your heart thumps loudly against your chest, so loud that Colin can hear it. He smirks, in love with the thought that he still makes you feel this way. 

“How was your day, love?” Colin questions in a soft voice. 

Suddenly, the frustration and stress of your day floats back to you. You sigh nervously, bringing your left hand up to your forehead. 

“It was terrible. I completely messed up my performance for my midterm. I played the wrong chords…” You trail off, growing more anxious by the second. 

Colin sees the disappointment in your eyes, and pulls you close to his chest. 

The scent of vanilla and spice laced with cigarettes and a hint of weed fill your nostrils as you push your face closer to the center of his chest. That smell was special. It was distinctly Colin’s. The smell of smoke, and smoking in general usually disgusted you, but not it was Colin. There’s something so attractive about the way he looks with a joint in between his lips. It’s indescribably tantalizing to you.

Colin still holds you tightly, rubbing your back softly every now and then. 

“Your professor is an absolute dickhead if he doesn’t see how talented you are,” Colin says reassuringly. “If the bloke even tries to fail you, he’ll be hearing from me. Or even worse…” Colin pauses, moving his lips closer to your right ear. “…No one will ever hear from him again.” Colin arches a brow, a mischievous look plastered across his face. You can’t help but chuckle loudly, and Colin joins in. 

Colin grabs your hands and leads you towards the couch, almost as if you two are children on a field trip, making a “choo-choo train” of sorts in an attempt to stay together.

Colin sits down, and he extends his arm out, signaling for you to join him. You plop down next to him, and he puts his arm around your shoulder. He pulls you in closer to him, and you snuggle up against his chest. 

“Let’s just relax, yeah?” He says to you calmly. You nod your head in response, putting a hand on his stomach.

“You wanna watch some telly?” Colin asks, his lips pressing against the top of your head. 

“Sure,” You hum happily, passing him the black remote next to you. He turns the television on, surfing through the channels.

Faces flash by as Colin searches for something to watch. He skips by sitcom after sitcom, until he finally lands on the image of Carrie Fischer and Harrison Ford bantering with blasters in their hands. 

“Star Wars!” You exclaim excitedly. Colin lets out a deep chuckle, amused by how much of a nerd you are. 

“My god, my girlfriend is the biggest nerd on the planet!” Colin teases, scrunching his nose playfully, pretending to be disgusted. 

“That’s no fair! You like this stuff even more than I do!” You tease back at him. He shakes his head defeatedly. 

“You’ve caught me red handed, (Y/L/N),” Colin says, putting his hands up, surrendering. You giggle, putting your head back down to his chest. He wraps his arms around you, and you focus on the movie. It was “The Empire Strikes Back”, your favorite Star Wars movie, and you and Colin had just caught the beginning of it. 

You two stay there for what feels like hours, your head against Colin’s chest, occasionally pressing kisses there. His hands comb through your hair, making you melt under his touch.

Much to your delight, as “The Empire Strikes Back” ends, the next movie, “Return of the Jedi,” comes on. 

“It must be a marathon!” You sing happily, a huge smile plastered on your face. Colin laughs, looking over to the clock. 

“Well shit it’s nine o’clock,” He chuckles, realizing how much time you two had spent watching Star Wars on the couch. “Should I order some pizza?” 

You nod excitedly. You were so relaxed that you didn’t realize how hungry you were. Colin picks up the phone sitting next to the couch, and dials the number. 

“Yeah, hey mate, I’d like to order one large, plain pizza, I’ve got quite the hungry nerd sitting next to me,” Colin says nonchalantly, glaring over at you with a mischievous smirk across his face.

“Colin Ritman!” You shout playfully, lightly punching him in the shoulder. He giggles as he tries to give the address of your shared apartment to the person on the other line, all while to defend himself against your play fighting tactics. He hangs the phone up, and looks back to you. 

“What can I say?” Colin says, that mischievous look still in his eyes. “I fell in love with a nerd. I gotta show that off, ya know?” Then he leans in, pressing his lips against yours. The kiss is languid and sweet. It’s a moment you wish you could capture on a camera and keep forever.  You smile against his lips, a sense of bliss filling your stomach. 

He might have been a tease, but he was your tease.

You were his nerd. 

And you’d happily be his nerd for the rest of your life.

[directionr]

Ok @dearcindymoon asked me razzle dazzle & marilyn for the lush asks, and then I accidently hit answer privately before I finished the question bc I’m dumb, so here’s my answers.

Razzle dazzle: describe your music taste Ok my music taste is pretty weird, it’s mostly musicals and One Direction (and their solo music!), but also pop in general (love Hailee Steinfeld, PrettyMuch, Shawn Mendes), a little bit of rap, and Spanish pop. 

Marilyn: who do you look up to? Sheryl Sandberg is pretty awesome, she’s the COO of Facebook and she wrote Lean In. Literally every Asian in the public sphere ever (Lea Salonga, Aziz Ansari, Constance Wu, Sarah Kaye). MALALA YOUSAFZAI SHE IS AMAZING. Also Toby Cosgrove! (CEO of the Cleveland Clinic, war vet and heart surgeon).

thanks for asking thissss

[awriteratcsssa]

Day 28 - 11:06

I can’t believe I’m writing this from my own room...

- I actually woke up early today (7:00) without an alarm. I think my body knew that it was a big day. I went through my morning routine, packed some more, then headed to breakfast. for once, almost the entire squad was assembled at 8:00. 

- bfast: strawberry crepes, hash browns, fruit

first time I cried today. one of my friends wrote me a handwritten note and two others wrote me poems. I read them at the bfast table and collapsed into tears. I love these people all so much.

- group photo in front of the calarts blue wall! plus a profile pic for me :) 

- last of packing for me. the room looked so bare :(

- down to sublevels for more group pictures! our squad is better than yours (Don’t Ya Wish U Were Us)

- 10:00 = last creative writing event, graduation ceremony. this entire thing made me so unbelievably emo. essentially, all of the teachers singled out each student with a few sentences before handing out certificates and medals. I started crying for other ppl and I basically didn’t stop crying throughout the ceremony. Adrianna said the nicest things about me but I can’t even remember most of it bc I was just crying through it. after everyone had been addressed, we had half an hour to hang out with our department. which just became more of a cry fest with everyone hugging everyone else. we were all one giant mess of tears. this entire group of 75 ppl has really become like a family, even though I don’t personally know everyone. only we will ever really know what these past 4 weeks have been like, and what a special bond that is.

- my group of friends decided to stop festering in tears and went back down to the sublevels to hang out amidst ourselves. only we just started crying more bc someone decided it was a good idea to give a speech that made us all ball. and then another of my friends followed with her own address. my eyes started to hurt bc I was crying so much.

- lunch: burger, fries, cookie

this is my last meal at csssa. holy shit.

- closing remarks by michael fields. they aren’t kidding when they say he is an outstanding public speaker. everything he said was so motivational and I am so proud to be a part of this csssa community. I have gained so much from this experience and I want to keep contributing back to my art. I held it together for the most part until he said that csssa 2017 was officially over and “don’t stop believing” started to play and beach balls rained down. then the floodgates opened and didn’t close for a solid fifteen minutes. more hugging ensued, and I don’t understand how i’m not out of tears yet. I got to meet one of my friend’s parents, which was kinda cool.

- back to dorm for final check, returning key. then we ran back out to take a final group picture, only not everyone showed up in time. we had some final words and hugs and then my roommate and I sprinted back to dorms to get our luggage and head to the curb to wait for the shuttle, since we were already late. only we really weren’t, considering the fact that the shuttle didn’t arrive for another 30 minutes and we were stuck waiting in the heat. I think that was probably the reason I started to feel sick right as the shuttles finally arrived. my vision felt blurred and brightened, like a filter. it was weird. also my head hurt and I felt slightly nauseous. luckily, I was able to get on the bus pretty quickly, and after a couple of minutes hunched over in my seat I felt better. the rest of the drive went pretty smoothly, save for the moment I thought I lost my earphones (I didn’t.) 

- baggage check-in and security at the airport went pretty quickly and I got to the gate with more than an hour to spare. I met another csssa student (animation) and we started talking. she offered me dried mangoes, so basically she’s the best. slowly but surely, other csssa students started to join us. I really hadn’t talked to some of them at all, but in that limited time we all bonded over interesting stories and shared experiences. the plane ended up being delayed a little over an hour. during that time, I treated myself to a matcha green tea latte, a caramel apple lollipop, and more dried mango than I should’ve had. 

- finally we boarded the plane, and I sat next to two of the csssa students I had been talking to. the flight was quick and easy, and I listened to music the whole way through. once the plane landed, we all walked to baggage claim together. I lowkey chased my suitcase around the conveyer belt before finally getting it off. after that, I waited for a while for my parents to arrive. 

- car ride home was nice. I do really love my family, and it was so good to see them again after a month. I regaled them with all sorts of stories, although it’s impossible to sum up an experiences such as csssa. even though i’m a creative writing student, there are no words.

- dinner = Chinese food!! yassss I've missed thissss

- I've just been chilling - I tried on the clothes that i’d bought online before csssa started, watched some youtube, scrolled through social media, talked to my brother. i’ll admit, being in the comfort of my own home is pretty nice.

that’s it. csssa 2017 is over. I still can’t really believe it. this month has no doubt been one of the best of my life. I've made friends faster and deeper that ever before. I've grown as a writer and a human being. I've learned and challenged and experienced. i’ll forever be grateful to this program. that’s a wrap from my “daily“ blog entries, but please do feel free to ask me any questions! i’d be happy to answer them, even if I will no longer be updating this tumblr. thanks to all those who have read and stuck with me. <3