#I actually used to have a guitar I bought at a pawn shop

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Normies

Winter Prompts Masterlist | Winter Prompts List

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Prompts: Fruitcake/ Old-Fashioned/ Learning-to-Love

When Eddie turned up to the park bench with his metal lunch pail, you realized that your request for ‘help’ hadn’t been clear enough. You bought a half-ounce out of guilt—the guy came all the way out there, and brought his lunch pail, after all. As you tucked the half-ounce away into your bag, and before Eddie could disappear, you cleared your throat. 

“Uh—I actually wanted to ask if you could help me with one more thing?” 

Eddie’s gaze swept you curiously, brows creeping up toward his bangs. 

“Uhhhh…I’ll do my best…Especially now that you’ve sparked my interest.” 

--  

You paid him for his time—you insisted on it. Your parents had no idea that you were taking guitar lessons from Eddie Munson. Even after his name was cleared, the town still had some misconceptions about him. You’d never believed them—you’d had a fair few classes with Eddie while you’d been in high school. He’d always offered insightful comments—ones that your teachers and fellow students often dismissed. 

Every Monday and Wednesday, you took the guitar that you bought at the pawn shop and went over to Eddie’s trailer. You'd been practicing for a few months, and had come along from scales to learn a few songs. Now, you sat on his bed, and did your best not to scowl or grumble or curse when you didn’t hold the strings down hard enough, or when your fingers wasn’t just right. 

“You’re doing that pinchy-face thing again.” 

“...What pinchy-face thing,” You muttered, gaze set on your fingers, and the guitar’s frets. It was only a second before one of Eddie’s ringed fingers waggled in your face before poking the tip of your nose. 

“That one.” 

It caught you so off-guard that you burst into giggles, your head jerking back. 

“I was focusing!” You insisted, meeting Eddie’s gaze. He was smiling sweetly at you, eyes sweeping your face. Your stomach fluttered with it, and your hurriedly lowered your gaze to your hands again. 

“I was focusing,” You repeated in a grumble. 

“...Can I ask you something?” Eddie asked. 

“Sure.” 

“Why’d you wanna learn to play?” 

You bit your lip. “I, um…I needed something to do with my hands when I couldn’t sleep.” 

“The weed not doin’ it?” 

"Not every time.” 

Your fingers slipped, sliding further down the fretboard. “Oh—Son of a bitch.” 

Eddie chuckled, clambering onto the bed behind you. 

“Eddie! You still have your shoes on!” You screeched. 

“S’okay, don’t worry about that—here.” 

Your breath caught in your throat as Eddie pressed up against your back. He slid his hands down your forearms, smoothing his fingers down to curl around yours. You felt his chin hook around your shoulder as he peered down at your hands. 

“You’re getting all annoyed and making that pinchy face, so your fingers are sliiiiidin’ around. You’ve just gotta relax.” 

With Eddie’s easy guidance, you played O, Christmas Tree. You bit your lip as Eddie guided you through it again.

“See?” He murmured, “You’ll get the hang of this in no time.” 

You glanced back toward him, your nose brushing the apple of his cheek. The two of you went still and quiet for a moment. 

“Thank you,” You mumbled. 

“...Sure.” 

It was another moment before Eddie leaned away from you, gently removing his hands from yours. He scooched around in bed to flop down beside you. 

“So,” You cleared your throat and began to work at the song again. “What are you doing for Christmas?” 

“Uh…” 

Your gaze flitted to Eddie, and you found him looking a little uncomfortable. “Probably just gonna be me and my baby here,” He said, nodding toward his guitar. 

“What about your uncle?” 

“He’s got a shift at the plant.” 

“On Christmas?”

“Yeah. A double. He’s covering for someone.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“S’okay. I’m used to it.” Eddie gave you a small, tight smile. You bit your lip, looking down at the fretboard. 

Your mom might not approve. Your dad might hate it. But—

“You should come to my house for Christmas.” 

--  

Your mom hadn't loved the idea, but when you'd explained a little bit—when you'd told her that Eddie had no one to spend Christmas with, and would probably be eating canned soup—she relented.

"Just, no devil-worshipping talk at the table, please," Was her only request.

You weren't sure who was more nervous on the day—Eddie or you. You were surprised when Eddie turned up in a warm-looking sweater and a pair of khaki pants, his hair pulled back into a ponytail. He’d brought flowers for your mom, and a bottle of wine for your dad. You could never have imagined seeing Eddie like this. 

“Where did you get the sweater?” You asked when the two of you had a moment alone. 

“I borrowed it from Steve. The pants, too. Are they—You know, is it good?” Eddie asked, looking down at himself.

“You look great, Eddie, but,” You glanced over your shoulder to see if your parents were coming in, “I’m a little surprised.”

“Well, you wanna dine with the normies, you gotta dress like a normie, right?” 

“You could’ve just worn your own clothes.” 

“Good to know if they ever invite me back.” 

“Nice touch with the wine and the flowers, by the way.” 

“That was Nancy’s idea.” 

“Who did your hair?” 

“...Robin.”

You smiled, reaching up and gently brushing a wisp of his bangs that had escaped. 

“I’m kinda digging the group project vibes, Munson.” 

His smile widened, his forehead gently butting against your fingers. You reached out, taking his hand and leading him into the living room. 

“C’mon, I’ve got something for you.” 

“What? No, you didn’t have to do that.” 

“I wanted to. Besides, we always make a stocking for someone that comes over for Christmas.” 

“A stocking?” 

“Uh-huh. And I actually um—Well. You’ll see.” You let go of Eddie’s hand, half-jogging over to the mantel and sliding the stocking off of the hook. You looked down at it nervously. It was too late to back out now. You’d dyed the red fabric of a stocking black, and ironed on a Metallica patch. You turned toward Eddie, holding it out to him. He took it, eyeing the stocking, his eyes sweeping the patch. A smile pulled at his lips, his fingers clutching it tightly. 

“...Thank you,” He managed, “Where’d you even get this?” 

“Oh, you know, I just—I dyed it and added the—thing,” You admitted, tucking your hands into your pockets. Eddie’s eyes flitted to you, eyes bright. 

“You made this?” 

“Kinda? I mean, I altered it, you know.” 

“This is the coolest—Oh, man, I love it.” Eddie grinned. “Thank you.” 

You relaxed a little, giddy butterflies still swirling in your stomach. “You’re welcome.”

“Kids! Dinner!” Your mom called in from the kitchen. “Don’t eat all of the candy from those stockings, you’ll spoil your dinner!” 

“Wait, there’s candy in here?” Eddie asked, opening his stocking and peering inside. 

“You can eat it later,” You chuckled. 

--  

“Your parents are kinda cool.” 

You glanced over at Eddie, leaning back against the wall of his van. You’d told your parents that you’d see Eddie home (and had been warned that you shouldn’t be out past midnight). He’d parked up in a field, and the two of you had climbed into the back and lit up one of his prerolls. 

“I think they liked you,” You admitted. “I mean…They were kinda nervous about you coming over, ‘cause of some of the stuff last year, but I think they realize that you’re a good guy.” 

“You tell them I was?” 

“Of course I did. ‘Cause you are.” You glanced at Eddie as you took the joint back from him. He was leaning against the opposite side of the van, watching you in the van’s low light, swirled with smoke. You took a pull from the joint before you pushed yourself up to sit beside Eddie. You passed him the joint back before you reached up. Your hands hesitated at his head. 

“Can I…?” 

Eddie nodded before he tipped his head forward a little bit. 

“Ugh, please. It’s starting to give me a headache.” 

You smiled, gently loosing the hair tie from his head. 

“Promise me the next time you come over, you won’t dress like Steve and give yourself a headache for my parents’ sake.” 

“I promise,” He chuckled. You hesitated before you slid your hand up to massage the crown of his head, where the ponytail had been pulled all evening. Eddie groaned softly, head tipping forward. You smiled as he leaned into you a bit. 

“Thanks,” He mumbled. “I really appreciate you inviting me for Christmas—and making me the stocking and stuff. Think it’s probably one of the nicest things anyone’s ever done for me. Like…Top five.” 

“Happy to be in the top five.” You lowered your hand from Eddie’s head to your lap. He scooched closer, resting his head on your shoulder. You smiled, reaching out and snagging the Metallica stocking from beside you. 

“Want a twix?” 

“Oh, hell yeah,” Eddie nodded. You opened the wrapper, drawing one out and holding it out to him. 

“Thanks.” 

“Sure.” 

“...You’re really cool, you know,” He mumbled around his mouthful. 

“You are, too, Munson.” 

You turned your head, nuzzling his head gently. 

“Merry Christmas, Eddie.” 

Tag list: @amneris21 ; @elen-aranel ; @brandyllyn ; @massivecolorspygiant ; @blueeyesatnight

[stijlw]

i'm re-covering a guitar amp with forest green leathercloth, maybe i'll post a picture of it. been going well so far despite my deliberately using only the shoddy materials i have easily on hand. it's a small peavey practice amp that i bought when i was 14 or so when town was full of pawn/cash4gold shops. don't think there are actually any around currently. sort of an economic downturn type business.

[videostak]

Today was cool i bought a mxr phase 90 at a nearby pawn shop on my lunch break and was using it on my organ and bass tonight tho its late so i was just testing it im hoping 2mrw i can record some lil examples of me using it also wanna use it w/ my distortin pedal on bass too loll. Im kinda rly looking forward to buying gear and a guitar in the future. Wanna have some sort of consistency on string instruments they have a baby sitar there and im gonna see if i can haggle it down lol. But maybe should get a regular electric guitar first lol. Thinking what other pedals would be cool def wanna look for a good wah wah and a tremolo pedal i think those two are the big ones. Cause those woyld work well w/ electrig organ bass and guitar. Buuuut dont wanna jump the gun but am def gonna like try to actually try to learn guitar and practice bass regularly cause im very comfortable w/ keyboard n stuff so i think its def time

[harmcityherald]

So on Friday, after taking young man to work, I came back home and then set back out about 11:00 a.m. to hit the pharmacy downtown at the hospital and then go out to the Guitar Center. I also had to stop and get Gammy some live worms. Anyway, I was in a pretty good mood it was nice out and as I'm getting into my car I see a young lady in a sun dress walking down the street. I'm an old man and I'm married to the most amazing woman in the world even if she is the Antichrist, but I glanced and then I got into my car. I'm getting my stuff together and putting the radio on the correct Channel getting the GPS going because I'm going into harm City and although I pride myself on being a human map I feel more comfortable taking my HAL 9000 with me. So I take off, and I round the corner, and there she is, her butt is sticking out of chips rose bush and she's picking roses. My windows down the music's on she looks up at me and of course I'm smiling and that young lady lifted her dress, I mean she lifted her dress and I saw her whole hiney, and let me tell you it was not a bad hiney in any sense of the word. She had a big grin on her face and she said hi. And Crom strike me dead, I said hi back and kept on driving. Now I know the truth is, in my particular part of crackopolis this is not an unusual thing. But you have to say to yourself, the poor thing must be new, that girl next door look that they lose as the street takes its toll on them. And like I said of course I'm married to Artemisia, she has a lover who never sees another. But even in that cheap moment, it made me feel good. I'm an old man but I'm not dead. I told Artemisia about it of course. She thought it was as cute and funny as I did, but I know Artemisia hides a battle ax in her underwear. It's one of the things I love about her you see. And of course the Guitar Center was a complete circus. I did buy a strap but there was no way I was going to pay $50 for a strap because of the nifty picture. At the register and only at the register there are little bags of pics, not even separated by millimeters just grab bags of pics. With I'm going to estimate there are seven pics in a bag. $16.99. I told the young guy behind the counter that he was smoking acid. I ended up finding a small mom and pop guitar shop around the corner from that and a guy who had actual pics actually separated in their thicknesses and I got a dozen of them for $5.50. That shit just blew my mind. Plus the fact that in none of those guitar stores was one fretless Bass. I told them all they were Criminal. And I also told an older gentleman who was looking at the counter at the Guitar Center for effect pedals of course the used effect pedals none of them are under $200. I told him, right in front of the cashier, man you can pick those up for next to nothing at the pawn shop and they'll work just as good I bought a bass and an amp yesterday for 200 bucks. I can't even walk out of here with a decent strap and a bag of pics. LOL. As I talk text my little story here there seems to be a commotion over a street over and I can hear him yelling about having a gun. Let's hope sundress is not involved in that. Par for the course around here isn't it. So I'm going to go ahead and wrap this up. Feels like a good time to walk the perimeter. Don't worry I'll stay frosty.

[mytheoristavenue]

Eddie with his 6 lil nuggets with reader 😩

This was really cute, I took some artistic liberties, but hopefully you still like it!

ST Eddie Munson x Reader - Sweet Child O' Mine

Warnings: fluff, annoying kids, over stimulation, anxiety, child endangerment, fear of death, protection, thinking someone died/drowned, ANGST

Summary: After graduation, you and your friends decided to take the kids on a camping trip.

"Jesus H. Christ!" Eddie's shrill voice complained. "Can you shut the fuck up, Dustin? Nobody cares about what kind of trees are native to this state or whatever!"

You smiled sympathetically, resting your hand on his shoulder, turning back to the kids in the back seat. "I care, Dustin, but how about we save it for when we get there? Then you can show us the trees, and not just talk about them." You offered, smiling. Out of every minor in the car, Lucas, Max, and himself, Dustin was the only one to forget his walkman. He'd made Eddie turn off his stereo, claiming the metal gave him a headache, and he'd been talking nonstop ever since.

You thought for a solution, tapping your thin with the pad of your index finger, before settling on an idea. Digging on your bag, you found an old walkman with a cracked case. You opened Eddie's glove box, finding something that Dustin would like, before loading the cassette. "Here," you said, handing it back to him with a smile. "You can borrow mine."

The teenager's hands claimed the device, looking it over. "God, (Y/N), thing's ancient." he commented. "First edition, I think." you blushed a bit. Your family had never mad much money, and you honestly had only had the player so long. Eddie'd bought it for you from a pawn shop back in Freshman year and you loved it dearly.

Dustin could see Eddie casting him glares from the rear view mirror, prompting him to change his tune. "L-Like, ancient in a cool way, I mean! Like an artifact. Thank you." You smiled at him, patting your boyfriends thigh. Now that all the kids were distracted, you could turn the stereo back on, and Eddie would calm down. Your fingers brought it to life, tuning it to pay a song that was highly sentimental to your relationship: Sweet Child O' Mine.

He instantly let loose of all the tense energy in his body, waiting for the lyrics to begin, ready to sing along to them. His lips closed again when you began to sing instead.

"She's got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky."

It was rare that Eddie got the chance to hear you sing, not because you weren't good at it, but because of how shy you were about it. Him and his friends had actually on more than one occasion asked you to join their band, but you'd always just laugh off the offer. "Now and then when I see her face, she takes me away to that special place and if I stare too long, I'd probably break down and cry." he cooed, his pitch complimenting yours quite nicely.

----

"Okay, shit heads," Eddie said, twisting to pop his back. "Get outta my van." You giggled at him, sliding out of the passenger seat, grabbing your bag out of the floor board as you did. You walked around to the back of the van to begin un packing as Steve called everyone over.

"Alright, kids," he said, hands on his hips. "Because we're responsible for you and whatever you do while we're out here, the cabin we rented is gonna be supervised." The kids all groaned, a few of them hoping to get a bit of alone time with their respective partners. You giggled at them as Steve continued to drone on as they hiked up to the cabin.

----

Night had fallen, and you all sat around the fire pit, Eddie strumming softly on an acoustic guitar with your head on his shoulder. You were all roasting marshmallows, swapping embarrassing stories, and intermittedly singing off key to what ever your boyfriend happened to be playing at the time. Currently, you had been playing a child friendly version of truth or dare, and Jonathan had been telling the story of having to pry a Lego figure out of Will's nose, everyone laughing at their expense. After a bit of time had passed, Nancy and Steve had come to the conclusion that it was probably time for bed, planning to take everyone canoeing early the next day.

You had been laying in bed with Eddie, fast asleep, when you rolled over, eyes opening slightly to reveal an empty bed beside you. Confusion set in as you groggily sat up, his arm still wrapped around you. You blinked, realizing that there were three empty cots between you and the wall. Your brows knitted together in panic as you shot up to a stand, spinning around.

You hurriedly shook Eddie awake, kicking into your shoes and shouting to wake everyone else. "Guys, guys! Wake up, the kids are gone!"

Eddie jumped up immediately, aiding in your shaking his friends awake. "Jesus H Christ, wake the fuck up!" he shouted, stomping his boots on the floor to make as much noise as possible.

All of you finally darted out of the cabin, all in your pajamas, and all breaking away to search for the kids. Jonathan hushed the five of you, listening intently. "Do you hear that?" he asked his girlfriends as her brows furrowed.

"Laughing," she replied. "That's Mike." You sat there contemplating where the sound could be coming from when Robin suddenly broke into to clumsy sprint westward.

"The river!"

You had all broken off into three groups, fanning out to find the children, and you were currently losing your grip. You were rambling Eddie's ear off, firing off all the terrible things that could have happened to them, alone in the woods. He acted highly annoyed on the outside, not at you, but at the kids for sneaking out, but inside, his mind was melting. What if they were hurt, or worse? Could he carry one of them back to camp? What if he couldn't do anything?

"Baby, you've got to calm down." he finally said, gripping your shoulders and gazing deeply into your eyes. "We're gonna find them, I promise." You nodded, trusting him as he pulled you into his chest, seeing your glossy eyes shed a tear. Suddenly, you heard a feminine scream that you recognized as belonging to a redheaded little girl.

"Max!" you shouted, breaking away form him and into a sprint toward the sound. "I can hear rushing water, we have to be close!"

Before you realized it, you both were standing on the river bank, all six kids before you, holding onto rocks, roots, and each other for dear life as the rapids tried to pull them away. Mike shouted out to you when he caught sight of you, more worried for his girlfriend, who clung to his waist with terrified tears in here eyes. "Help! Eddie, please!"

You couldn't think, you didn't hesitate, you threw off your hoodie and shoes, before jumping into the river before your boyfriend could stop you. "(Y/N), wait, we need a fucking plan!" he shouted, watching you heroically, force your way through the water, disobeying the current.

You mad your way to Jane first, she being the closest, and with the least security. "El, I need you to let go." you yelled over the roaring stream. She shook her head, nuzzling into Mike's side, uncertain.

"Are you crazy, she'll fucking die!" her boyfriend protested, tightening his grip on her. You shot him a stern look before looking back to El with open arms.

"I'm gonna catch you, I promise." With a big inhale, she took a leap of faith, letting Mike's shirt go, instantly being taken by the rapids, only to have your protective arms wrap around her, your heels dug into the dirt, and lodged between two rocks for stability. You turned back to shore to find Eddie, still trying to work up the courage to jump in after you. "Ed, take her!" you demanded, swimming the teenager to the shore. He did as you asked, wading into the stream at a safe distance, ready to receive the girl into his arms.

Suddenly, you lost your footing, screaming out as your arms left El's torso, letting her flow freely passed you. This was the last straw for Eddie as he dove into the river, just in time for Jonathan and Nancy to make their way through the brush. "(Y/N)!" he shouted, letting the current pull him toward you, securely catching the both of you in his arms.

"Eddie! Grab on!" Jonathan yelled, he and his girlfriend holding a branch for him to grab onto. Eddie didn't hesitate, instantly pushing towards the end of it, grabbing it and allowing himself to be pulled out. Once he was close enough, he gave El a harsh shove, making her fall to her knees on the shore, where Robin was now waiting to let her collapse into her arms. Steve now took Nancy's place at Jonathan's side, with her wading into the water to collect the kids as you rescued them.

"Go, (Y/N), get on land." Eddie ordered, trying to push you away, but you dug your heals into the mud.

"I'm not going anywhere! Our kids are in danger, Eds, now either help me, or get out of my way!" you snapped, making your way back to Mike to pull him out. You boyfriend growled at your stubbornness, holding your hand to form an extension of the branch for you to reach him. The younger Wheeler instant leapt to grab your hand, being pulled to safety by the chain you'd made. Once he was safe, Nancy squeezed him him her arms, wetting her sweater, and threatening him to never do that to her again.

Next was Will, who just just about a foot farther than Mike had been. "Will, grab on!" you shouted. "I've got you!" You could see his eyes dart between you and his worried brother.

"C'mon, buddy," Jonathan reassure him with a sentimental smile. "It's gonna be okay!" With that, he let go of the rock he clung to, being carried away by the current, but catching your hand, just in time. Relief washed over Jonathan's tired features, knowing his brother was safe, and now in his girlfriend's loving arms.

“Max, c’mon, you’re next!” you shouted to the terrified girl, reaching for her, frustrated when she simply clung to Lucas tighter, screwing her eyes shut.

“I can’t!” persisted, looking away from you. “I’m too scared!”

Eddie groaned, holding your hand as tightly as he could, his eyes catching Dustin, the farthest across the river, losing his grasp on the root he was holding onto for dear life. “Red!” he called out. “You’ve gotta trust us!” He shot her a fake smile, seeing that he’d caught her attention. “Look at everything you’ve been though in the last few months, you took down an interdimensional demon! How are you gonna let a little water take you out? You’re better than that, Max!” he hyped, begging for her to jump. “Just let go and I promise, you’re never going to be in danger again!” You could see the gears turning in her eyes as your fingers barely grazed Lucas’s shirt. “Max, Please!”

Finally, the ginger jumped into your arms, her smaller frame glued to you, tangling her libs around you for security. Lucas also let go, grabbing your hand, and his eyes gazing into yours with a deep gratitude. You passed Max to you boyfriend, who passed her along to Robin, and the same with her boyfriend. 

Finally, your eyes locked on Dustin. He was much farther away the others, horror written across his face. There was no way you could reach him the way you had the others. “Dustin!” you called out to him. “It’s gonna be okay!” To be honest, you couldn’t promise that. You had no idea how you were going to rescue him, and time was dwindling. 

While you were thinking, the teenager shrieked, slipping away from the mossy root, You screamed his name, instinctually slipping out of Eddie’s grasp, much to his horror. Eddie lost his mind as watched you cradle his little brother in your secure arms, right over the cusp of a water fall. 

----

“Dustin,” you whispered, gravity pulling tears upwards from your terrified eyes as you fell. “Dustin, listen to me.” The boy nodded, holding you, also crying as he clung to you. 

“I’m listening, (Y/N)!” 

“I love you, Dusty, and I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you!” you sniffled, hugging his neck. “You’re the best little brother I could have ever asked for, even if we’re not really related.”

“I love you too, sis!” he cried into your chest. “I'm sorry!”

----

Eddie felt all his most primal instincts taking over as he lead the pack, darting through the woods, not caring for the cuts and bruises he acquired on the way. Now at the bottom of the fall, he spotted you two, barreling for the water below. Before he could possibly react, you hit the surface, your head harshly slamming against a rock in the much calmer stream when you did. You boyfriend waded through the water, rushing to you as Dustin resurfaced, gasping for air. The pair instantly clung to one another, before realizing that you were nowhere to be found. (Y/N)?!” Eddie sobbed into the night air. “Where are you, baby?!”

Nancy felt her heartache, watching the boys struggle to find you as she, and the rest of the party made their way into the river to search for you. “I found something!” Robin called, spotting what looked to be your hair floating not far from where the boys stood. “Help me.” she commanded, gently pulling you from the ripples. 

Eddie froze, tears already streaming form his eyes. You were lifeless, and void of color, save for the sanguine contaminating the water. Slowly, he pushed his way though the crowd, falling to his knees in the water, cradling your body in disbelief. He cried over you, weeping, gently shaking you, as if it would help.

“We should get her back on land.” Steve piped up, grabbing your arms to drag you into the sand. Jonathan took it upon himself to take you by the ankles, lifting you out of the water. A few followed them, but most stayed with your boyfriend, who’d fallen catatonic, sitting on his knees, eyes a leaky faucet, dripping dears that collected into the stream. With little resistance he allowed his friends to lift him up, walking him to the shore, to you.

Again, Eddie fell to his knees, defeated, and wept over you, brushing wet hair out of your face, smiling sadly as he shakily sang to you. “ She's got eyes of the bluest skies as if they thought of rain. I'd hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain...” He laid his head on your chest, pulling you into his lap, sobbing quietly. 

His eyes suddenly shot open, his neck snapping to look at your face, having felt your chest rise and fall with the cycle of a breathe. “ Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place where as a child I'd hide.” You coughed, lake water sputtering out and leaking over your lips as you looked up at your lover with a gentle smile. “And pray for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass me by...”

“(Y/N)!” Eddie cried, hugging you tightly, perhaps a little too much so. “Fuck, I thought you were gone!”

“I could never leave you, Eddie.” you nuzzled him, “I love you too much.”

“I love you too, baby girl.” He answered, still sobbing quietly, finding it hard to stop. You reached up and carressed his cheek. 

“And I couldn’t leave out six little nuggets behind.” you giggled, couching up again. You glanced over to the kids, soggy and dripping wet. You reached out a hand, signaling that you would like a hug. Instead of that, they all tackled you, paying no mind to your injuries, simply overjoyed that you were okay. Max got to you last, inserting herself onto the dogpile that was your little group hug. Her eyes flickered up to Eddie, who was watching fondly. Flustered, she leapt up to throw her arms around the man’s neck, snuggling into him with tears in her eyes. 

“Thank you, Eddie...”

[tumbling-odyssey]

Games I played in 2020

Just felt like getting my thoughts out on all the games I played this year. I’ve been wanting to do something like this for years but I always let it pass me by. Well not this year! Fuck you laziness! 

I played the first half in 2019 but finished it in 2020 so I guess I'll count it. DQ11 was my intro to Dragon Quest and what a good starting point. I'm not exaggerating when I say this is one of the best traditional JRPGs on the market. Characters, story, combat, it all clicks in just the right way to make a flawless game... until the end credits roll that is. 

I have no idea what happened with the post game but by god does it dive off a cliff. It undermines everything you worked to do in the main plot. The characters act brain dead and it shamelessly reuses events from the main game. Please pick up and play DQ11 but for the love of god just stop when the credits roll.

Doom is a game I knew I'd like. The heavy metal ascetic and soundtrack were right up my alley, but I just never found the time. With Eternal on the way though and having found it on the cheap at a pawn shop I figured there was no time like the present. Needless to say but I was right. I loved everything about this game. The thrill of combat, the screech of the guitars, and the silent take no shit attitude of Doomguy. Make no mistake though, I SUCK at this game. I played on easy but still got my ass handed to me on the regular. But I don't care, I was having way to much fun.

I flipped my shit when this game got leaked at the tail end of 2019. Zero 3 is my all time favourite game. To celebrate this getting announced I went and 100% Zero 3 as I hadn't done it on my current cart, and Zero 3 was still the first thing I played when I got this collection! I love that game to death and I’m glad to have it on modern consoles again. As I was under a bit of time crunch with other games releasing soon I only played 2 other games in the collection Zero 4 and ZX Advent. Until the DS collection those and 3 were the only Zero/ZX games I had so I have a lot of nostalgia for them. 

Zero 4 hold ups better then I remember. Not as good as 3 but a damn solid game with tweaks I honestly wish hit the series before its end. I remember having issues with the stage design and ya it’s not perfect, but it’s far from as bad as I thought. For ZXA this was the first time I beat the game on normal difficulty. For some reason the ZX games have always given me more trouble than the Zero games, so finally beating one on normal was very exciting. Maybe I can now finally go and beat ZX for the first time...

The Mystery Dungeon series rising from the depth to punch all those unexpecting in the face was a very welcome surprise. I had a lot of hype going into this one as I have very fond memories of my time with Red Rescue Team and even more with Explorers of Darkness. And the game lived up to it! The remastered music is great and crazy nostalgic, the 3D models are well used and don't feel as stiff as they do in the core series, and the QOL changes are near perfect... So why did I drop this game like a rock once I finished the main quest? 

Anyone familiar with Mystery Dungeon will know that the post game is the real meat of it. The story is short and all the really cool shit comes in after it's done. But I just couldn't bring myself to put more time in after I finished said story mode. I'm definitely chocking that up to me just not being in the mood then an issue with the game. Here's hoping we get an Explorers DX sometime soon. That will fucking hook me for all it's got.

Second verse same as the first. I loved this game and sucked at it horribly. Out of all the games I've played this year Doom Eternal is the one I want to go back to the most. I was not the hugest fan of some of the changes made and retained a stance that I liked 2016 better. First person platforming has never been a fun experience in my opinion and Eternal did little to change that. And I know this a lukewarm take at best but fuck Marauders!. They are so unfun to fight and ruin the pace. The Marauder in the last mook wave took me so long I was worried I wouldn’t be able to finish the game. But the more I've seen of Eternal after my playthrough makes me think I was being far to harsh. I haven't played the DLC yet either. Mostly cuss I haven't heard great things about it. Gonna wait for the rest of it to come out to see if it's worth getting. Might just replay to whole game at that point to see if it clicks with me better.

This was my second favourite game of the year, and was going to take the top slot until a certain other game came out. Addressing the elephant in room right away, I hated the ending. But I was expecting something like that, I think we all were. I won't let the ending ruin the rest of the game though. Not gonna let 1 segment colour everything that came before it. We have to see how the later parts play out to truly see if this ending was trash or not anyway. 

It took Square over a decade but they finally got an action RPG battle system that works and feels good to play. This may be my favourite battle system in an RPG period honestly. All four characters are a blast and it only gets better the more time you spend with it. Figuring out the nuances of each character’s skills and how to combine them not only with the skills of the others but how to enhance them with the right Materia set. This makes fights thrilling and satisfying when you finally best whatever was giving you trouble. Tis was the best way to bring 7′s mechanics into the modern landscape while also fixing the BIGGEST issue the OG had. The fact every character feels the same aside from Limit Breaks. 

All this on top of graphics that just look fucking stunning, a few glitched out doors aside. Fuck I still feel blown away looking at the characters models (mostly Tifa) and see how god damn pretty everyone is. Also Tifa’s Chinese dress is gift from the Gods and I still haven’t picked my jaw up from the floor after I first saw it.

In my circle of the internet there was a lot of hype for this game. So much so that I ended up buying it to see what all the hubbub was about. I had never played a Streets of Rage game before and my only experience with beat'em ups was playing a LOT of Scott Pilgrim and last year's River City Girls. Turns out Streets of Rage plays quite a bit different and it kicked my ass! So sadly I had to switch to easy to make it through but I still had a fun time with it. 

I started playing mostly as Blaze but once Adam hit the scene oooooh fucking boy. I didn’t play anyone else. There's a deceptive amount of content in this game. You can unlock almost every character from the previous games and all of them rocking their original sprites and moves. If I had more of a connection with this series I'm sure I would have gone nuts on unlocking everything. I stopped after my one playthrough and I was happy with that. Always glad to support a long overdue franchise revival.

To properly talk about P5R I think I need to air a lot of my feelings on the original game and the importance it has to me. You see, prior to 2017 I barely played games, only sticking to specific franchises. AKA Pokemon and Mega Man/Mega Man like games. Until 2016 though I still bought a lot of games. Eating up Steam sales and deals I found at pawn shops. This lead to a Steam library and shelf filled with games I've never touched outside of maybe an hour or 2. So in 2016 when I took interest in the newly released Kirby Planet Robobot I made a deal with myself. I could get the game but I HAD to beat it.  And I did just that, gaining not just a new fav Kirby game but a new rule for game purchases. If I knew I wouldn't beat a game I was not aloud to buy it. Now what does ANY of this have to do with P5 you may ask? Well... almost everything.

 I was immediately interested in P5 when it hit the west in 2017. I loved the 20 or so hours I but into P3 years ago and really liked the P4 anime I had watched around the same time. So of course with all the hype around it I wanted to dive into the series full force with P5. But I knew myself. Putting over 100 hours into a game was beyond me and I had a weird relationship with home console games as I was predominately a handheld gamer. Add in the fact I didn't even have a PS4 and I was convinced P5 would be something I always wanted to play, but never would. So when I went to the mall with a few friends and they showed me that P5 had a PS3 version, I had a dilemma on my hands. I knew I wanted to play it and I now had a way to do so. But doing that would require me to change 2 HUGE hang ups I had with games. Would I being willing to waste 60 bucks with so much working against me? Apparently I was. I immediately started going to town on this game. Making sure I spent no less then 2 hours a day playing NO MATTER WHAT. Which may not seem like a lot but it was to me... at the time.. I also had just moved to my current house, so coming home from my still relatively new job and going straight into P5 was the first real routine I formed during this heavily transitional part of my life. 

I of course ended up loving P5 and put 200 hours into it. As such my outlook on gaming was forever changed. Console games were no longer out of reach and I knew I could handle playing monster length game. I started playing way more games then I ever did before and trying out generas I never thought I would play. P5 is the main reason for this and why I'm able to make a post like this. To actually touch on Royal though? It's unarguably the better version of the game and Atlus learned all the right lessons from P4G. The new characters are great and the added section at the end is possibly the best shit Atlus has ever written. I only wish Yoshizawa joined the party sooner so I could play as her more. 

The release of this really came out of nowhere huh? Wayforward announced it was being made mid way through 2019, then there was its weird half release on the Apple store... and then suddenly it was out! Very little fanfare for this one. Is that indicative of the games quality? Luckily no. Seven Sirens is a solid addition to the series and follows up Half Genies Hero nicely. The game goes back to Shantae's Metroidvania roots and makes a TON of improvements. 

Transformations are now instant instead of having to dance for them (don't worry dancing is still in the game) making the game feel more like Pirates Curse in its fast flow. They also added the Monster Cards which take heavy inspiration from Aria of Sorrow's Soul system. A feature I'm happy to see in any Metroidvania since Aria is one of my all time favourite games. Sadly though the game does not take the best advantage of these improvements. 

Over all the game feels kinda empty. The dungeons aren't super exciting to explore nor are they challenging in any way. And the plot is very repetitive, with each dungeon repeating the same beats. Really this game feels more like set up for a better game down the line. The mechanics are all here and Wayforward has a solid art style with the sprites from Half Genie Hero. Hopefully they capitalizes on this for Shantae 6 and we get the best game in the series.

While it may not have been the most thrilling game, Seven Sirens really put me into a Shantae mood. So much so that I went back to play the 2 games in the series I had never touched. This being the first game and Risky's Revenge. Shantae 1 really is a hidden gem in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, it's the definition of jank, but there's a lot of heart to this game. The sprites are great, the soundtrack is good, and the characters are funny... but it's still on the OG Gameboy and that's a massive hindrance for any game. I'm hard pressed to recommend this with how poorly its aged but I think it's better then it looks. 

Risky's Revenge on the other hand was a game that shocked me by how little it had to offer. I know this game went through a hellish development and what we got was far from what Wayforward planned to make, but it's hard to imagine a world where this was the technical BEST Shantae game. It's not a bad game by any stretch... just a boring one.

For the record my ranking of the games goes Pirates Curse>Half Genie Hero>Seven Sirens>Original>Risky’s Revenge

Sword and Shield are mediocre games at best. I know, real steaming hot take there. I managed to make my Sword playthrough a lot more fun by not spoiling myself on the new Pokemon designs for the first time since Gen 3. Either way, I enjoyed myself enough that I didn't mind playing more of it with these DLC campaigns. Plus I love the idea of Game Freak switching over to this method as apposed to making a third version, so I wanted to support it. 

Klara is a fucking top tier Poke Girl both in design and personality and is probably the highlight of Isle of Armour. GF actually went out of their way to give her multiple expressions to sell her toxic bitch personality and I love every minute of it. She sadly drifts into the background for the second half of the DLC’s story which hurts an already rough section even more. Not more then having to grind Kubfuu all the way to fucking level 70 though! That put a serious hamper on my motivation to finish the story but I pushed through anyway. Having to solo the tower with Kubfuu was at least a fun challenge though, as was the final fight with Mustard. Fuck the Diglett hunt though. Ain’t no one got time for that.

Crown Tundra may be my fav of the 2 though even if there isn't a character as good as Klara in it. The hunt for the legendaries was just pure adventure and I had a fucking blast doing it. The joy I felt when I figured out Registeel’s puzzle put a smile on my face unlike any Pokemon game since I was a kid. The whole Regi stuff was honestly a nice Nostalgia trip to my times with Emerald. The story around Calyrex was enjoyable, even if I still hate its design. Not revealing the horses before release was a good call to as it gave an honest surprise. Having to chase down the Galar forme Birds in the overworld is a great way to evolve the roaming legendaries idea and I hope GF sticks to this. Plus the Galar forme birds are some of the best legendary designs since Gen 5 and I love Chocodos way to fucking much. 

Here we are folks, my GotY. I love Panzer Paladin so fucking much. A combination of mechanics from Mega Man, Castlevania, and Blaster Master? Sign me the fuck up! This game is tailored made for me and I knew I had to play it once it started making the rounds on social media. I'll admit though, I was a bit worried when the the first full trailer dropped and showed the weapon mechanics. Breakable weapons that you have to sacrifice for checkpoints and power ups? I'm not sure about that.... Luckily I was being a complete moron and those mechanics are near perfect. 

I love the set up of each boss being a mythological creature from different cultures. They didn’t just pull the easy ones either. A lot of these things I learned of for the first time here. I love how Grit controls. Using the upward stab as a double jump and being able to pogo off enemies Shovel Knight style just felt great and satisfying. Flame was limited but it made her sections feel tense. She does more damage then you think she could at first glance. Also the only way to heal Grit being to use pods that only Flame could access was a cool idea. 

I am begging you Tribute Games, you have to make more Panzer Paladin games. Slap some new upgrades on Grit and expand what Flame can do and you have an even better sequel  on your hands. Also maybe not have so many 'gotcha' moments with enemy placement. That's really my only complaint about the game. Great music, great sprites, giant robots, unique premise, and a reference to Canadian legends. The ultimate self indulgent game for me.

It felt super out of left field for Curse of the Moon to be getting a sequel. The games fucking amazing but it was really just a tie in for the main Bloodstained product. Not something I expect to get a continuation. Either way I was pumped. If this was even half as good as the original then I was in for a great time. Which held true... cuss this legitimately is only half as good as Curse of the Moon. I still like the game, quite a lot actually. I mean how could I not with a fucking Corgi piloting a Death Train Mech. 

Something was just missing here that never made this click like the first game. Maybe it was the stage design, maybe the bosses, maybe the fact that it's a bit to long. I'm not sure. All I know is I couldn't bring myself to play all the modes like I did in the original. . Stopping part way in to the one where you can get the first games characters. I want to go back some day... I just don’t know when someday is.

This was an announcement I never saw coming. A Gundam Verses game coming to the west? That hasn't happened in the entire time I've been a Gundam fan. I had played a bit of Full Boost on my old roommates PS3 thanks to him having a Japanese account and I played Force on the Vita a few years ago. But to have the latest version fully translated with open servers? Holy hell that's a dream come true. 

Having the open betas every weekend leading up to launch was some much needed fun during this shit hole year. I had a lot of fun just fucking around with different suits and seeing what I could do with 'em. Absolutely trashing two Bael players as the Kapool is a memory I'll keep with me for a long time. Fucking danced on their graves. This gave me some new appreciation for suits like the Baund Doc and Hambrabi, the later becoming a lowkey fav as it was my main.

I've fallen off with the game in the last few months but I definitely want to go back. I hope to start learning the game and take parts in tourneys when cons aren’t death sentences anymore.

It felt like everything in my life was SCREAMING at me to start the Yakuza series. From 2 of my friends playing 0 recently, a youtuber I following live tweeting as he played through the WHOLE series back-to-back, and Yakuza 2 having a run at AGDQ 2020. Plus the constant pleas to play this series you get from following Little Kuriboh on Twitter. I finally broke and picked up 0 in the middle of August. Boooooooooy howdy did I not know what I was getting in to. And no I don't mean the content. I knew Yakuza was a series of wildly conflicting tones between the main story and side quests. What I mean is the length. I legit thought this was gonna be a 20-30 hour game. When i reached hour 30 of my playthrough and realized I wasn't even close to a conclusion, I think I knew I had bitten off more then I was planning. That misstep aside I ended up loving this game and want to play the rest of the series.... I just need to rest up first before I dive into Kiwami 1.

 Let's actually talk about the game for a moment here. Kiryu and Majima quickly clicked as likeable characters to me and I cared about their stories. Combat is fun and the multiple styles are all great.... though both the default styles take a while to get there. The mad rush I felt at the end was fantastic and the last bosses are a joy to fight. Only real complaint is the pacing of the side stories. I loved being able to just stumble into various different events while on route to the next plot objective. But this became less common as the game went on and side stories started getting more tucked away. Also hot take here, the host club mingame is more tedious then fun and I like Kiryu’s business stuff as I could do that in the background. I’m excited to dive into Kiwami and probably Kiwami 2 this year... Though I’m not sure when just yet.

Just gonna say it flat out, I think this is better the the 2018 game. The smaller scale helps in this style of game and Miles just naturally has a better move set then Peter. I'm not sure if they actually tightened up the combat system or if they just threw less bullshit enemies at you but fighting feels so much better in this one. Traversal is better too,  simply because they changed the button for tricks. In the original you have to hold down 2 face buttons to enter trick mode??? In hindsight that was such a bad call. 

Having both the heal and venom powers run off the same meter was a good idea. Making the choice between keeping yourself alive guaranteed or potentially ending a fight quicker/disposing of a problem enemy is super fun. The player having to make small choices like this during combat is what helps it not be brainless. I love all the different venom skills you get. While they all achieve the same thing in stunning opponents, how you achieve that goal is up to you. Do you want to just slug the bastard, throw 'em up in the air, tackle the shit out of them? The choice is yours. 

Only real big complaint is certain upgrades being NG+ locked. I know you want to encourage replays, but this is a shitty way to do it I feel. Also can we retire Rhino for the next game. Man has had 2 shitty boss fights now and I need a break. Between this and Spider-Verse, I'm honestly starting to like Miles as Spider-Man more then Peter.

I got this game more on a whim then anything. I was definitely interested when it was first announced for the west. Vanillaware's beautiful art style in a story about giant robots beating the shit out of Kaijus? Sign me the fuck uuuuuu-oh wait it's an RTS? I had never played an RTS's before, mainly due to the sheer concept stressing me out. So I let it fall to the wayside. The game started coming up again though towards the end of the year with GotY on everyone's minds.  This revived my interest, especially as what I HAD planned to be playing around that time was... well. Cyberpunk. Don't think I need to say much more. Also I had worried for nothing as the Real Time Strategy was not that Real Time. 

This game really lays on the analysis paralysis once you're out of the tutorial. Do you want to fight, do you want to do story, who's story do you want to do, what branch should you follow, how much should you play with this one character? It's very overwhelming at first. I decided to not go ham on just one character and swap around all the time. The twists in this game are equal parts exciting and infuriating. Learning something new always came with the caveat of more questions, or something you knew 'for sure' being disproven. Like when I learned 1 characters was actually 4 separate ones! Anyone that's played knows exactly what I'm talking about. 

Natsuno ended up being my fav and not just because of.... obvious reasons. BJ was cute if unfortunately named and her relationship with Mirua was my favourite in the game. Not that there was much competition except for maybe Ogata and Tomi. I ended up really liking the combat but I can see why RTS fans say it's the weakest part. It's far from complex and I had a winning strat by the third or so real fight. Aka spam turrets and have the Gen 1′s gank all the bosses.

One quick thing I want to share was how I beat the boss at the end of Area 2. The one where Inaba is singing. I had Hijiyama use the limit break skill to bum rush the boss right off the hop. I took out half its health in one hit but Hijiyama’s Sentinel was on death’s door. Only thing that saved him was sending in Amaguchi to blow up a bunch of missiles. Hijiyama took it out on his next attack but lost his Sentinel at the same time. It was a real clutch victory and crazy fucking anime. 

The best way to really describe Carrion is that it's a fantastic proof of concept. Can you make a game where you play as The Thing? Why yes, yes you can. Carrion just needed a bit more tweaking to really bring this concept home and be the A+ game I know it can be. As it is now the game is a bit empty. The level design is super samey and the lack of a map is fucking brutal at points. I know it would make no sense for a blob monster to have a map but somethings you just have to gameify for convenience. The level design must have done something right as even though I was completely lost I still moved from area to area properly. Hell by the time I actually looked up a map I had 1 more item to get and I learned I was one door away from beating the game. 

I love the idea of losing mass as you take damage and gaining more by eating people, but having abilities tied to size was a terrible idea. It just leads to tedium as I have to go and shed myself to the right size, do the puzzle, then of course I'm going to go back and rebuild myself to see if I can do the next segment at full power. Just make it so you can swap between abilities using the d-pad or something. I hope this game gets a sequel just so this sick ass concept can be fully realized.

[angrylizardjacket]

take me to your heart

Summary: Lola's never had a proper Christmas, and after this one, she still hasn't, but Tommy's a surprisingly good gift giver. Set during the tour with Roxie, but well after she's departed.

A/N: Written on my phone, v Christmas. Warning: Lola n Nikki give each other dirty gifts but the fic is sfw. Tommy-centric. Also idk if he's genuinely greek orthodox, he might not be idk

[run to paradise]

----

"Sharise wants to do something for Christmas," Vince sighs, his heels resting on the table of the tour bus. Lola, at least, looks up from her magazine with a frown, though she seems to be the only one paying attention.

"She's in LA."

"We'll be in Phoenix by then, its not that long of a flight," Vince answers quickly, and Lola goes back to her magazine. "I don't know what to get her."

"A six-pack and edible panties," comes Nikki's answer, half distracted where he was trying to write lyrics. Vince's expression, however, wrinkles.

"Have you ever bought a present for a lady who wasn't Lola?" He snaps, crossing his arms, and though he can't see Lola's amused expression, he hears her snort of laughter.

"Yes," Nikki responds flatly, finally looking up, "but incase you haven't noticed," he gestured around to the bus, which was filled only with the band, as well as Doc and Lola, "none of them are still here."

"That's correlation, man, not causation -"

"You know what? Fuck your five dollar words, man, I was trying to help." Nikki snapped, picking up his notebook in a huff and heading to the back of the bus. Silence fills the air, Vince sulking a little, Tommy just looking between Lola and Vince. Mick, who was trying to nap, sighs deeply and shifts in his uncomfortable seat.

"Is that all you've ever gotten for Christmas?" Tommy asks and Lola's response is surprisingly honest.

"Zero expectationsl, zero disappointments; drink, eat, fuck, like any other day." She does give pause there, the magazine rustling as her grip tightens just a little, and when she lowers it, there's amusement in her eyes. "Also, grape is the best flavour."

"What?"

"For edible panties."

"You guys are absolutely no help." Vince declares. Mick just laughs at that.

Lola's never been too bothered by not having a proper Christmas, she and Nikki live a pretty secular life when they weren't dabbling in Satanism, and the others were usually too busy doing their own things around the holidays to notice the pair's lack of any sort of traditions. Usually they'll buy each other booze, or some sort of joke present, but its never been a particularly sentimental time for Lola, not that anyone had really noticed her apathy enough to care.

Until now.

The holidays have always been a sentimental time for Tommy, and though he'd strayed from his Greek Orthodox roots, he still took it as a chance to show his family how much they meant to him, and now he was feeling like a fool for leaving his band-family out for so long.

What the hell could he get them that they didn't already have?

Nikki was easy, as it turned out. One quick phonecall home, his father spends about twenty minutes rifling through the junk Tommy had left from hia teenage years, and a poster, heavily creased and golden with age, is waiting at their next hotel, express shipped. Nikki didn't want or need any fancy packaging, so Tommy bought a big, yellow envelope and put the poster inside, along with a lighter he'd bought at a gas station. It looked cheap, a bit rough around the edges, but he was pretty sure Nikki would appreciate it all the same.

Mick was a little more difficult, seeing as he was almost guaranteed to throw out any joke gifts, or amything he didn't want. It feels like a cop-out, to just give him booze - expensive booze, mind you - instead of something sentimental. As luck would have it, Tommy finds himself scoring blow in an alley beside a pawn shop, and once the deal's done, he spots an iridescent alien-head keychain. He tapes the charm to the bottle of booze, amd slaps a bow on it, and is satisfied.

He and Vince have been exchanging Christmas presents since high school, as long as they were in the same town. Mostly they're joke presents. Tommy's had this year's picked out for months; a Malibu Barbie he'd repainted himself with Vince's stage make-up. Vince he didn't need to worry about.

Lola was a different story. She lived her life in the shadow of the band's, her existence, her belongings, were a patchwork of their leftovers; her creature comforts were consumables, and while she always took whatever she could wherever she was, it was because she could, not because she wanted things. What can you get for the girl who seems to want nothing, and still gets everything?

"Lola doesn't want things, she wants experiences, opportunities," Vince is the one who Tommy finally goes to for advice, and was the only one who Tommy knew would be actually helpful. They're in Vince's dressing room now, Tommy polishing off a bottle of Jack while Vince touches up his own eyeliner. Tommy's frowning, still at a loss, and he lowers the bottle. Their eyes meet in the reflection of the mirror, and Vince visibly hesitates before speaking again.

"Have you ever heard her play piano?"

Christmas rolls around and they're stuck in a hotel in Arizona. They're finishing the tour in LA just days before New Years Eve; the end is so close they can all almost taste it.

Sharise invites them all to dinner, well, she invites Lola when she learns that Lola's never had a proper Christmas dinner and 'the rest of them can come too if they want'. Tommy feels like Santa, laden with gifts, as he gets to the private room they had booked at the nicest resturant in town that was still open. He'd spent the morning organising Lola's gift, and was glad to have a break to eat before he gave it to her, or more accurately, took her to it.

"We were meant to bring presents?" Lola looks immediately panicked when he steps inside with a rather full backpack. She starts patting down her pockets as if hoping to magically find a pile of gifts there. "I didn't- I mean like I didn't bring them- its just drinks- nice drinks -" she clarified, but Tommy grins brightly.

"It's chill, Lols, I just saw this stuff around and thought it would be nice, its not a big deal," with that he laughed a little self consciously, "and dude, I'm sorry but I don't even have a thing to give you."

Lola can't help but be a little put out by that, still strangely childish in ways that continue to baffle Tommy, but he hopes she'll appreciate his gift, even if he can't give it to her with the others.

They do exhange gifts; Tommy gives Sharise champagne, and she seems more amused by his gift to Vince than Vince is. Vince, for his part, gives Tommy an ornate fountain pen, which has Tommy confused at first, while Nikki roars with laughter, pulling out an incredibly cheap ballpoint with a bow on it.

"You guys are fucking assholes," Tommy scowls once he realises, though by now even Lola's snickering. The scar from where Roxie had stabbed him several months ago begins to ache, just a little.

Mick, like Lola, doesn't have any gifts either, but he passes her a lighter and gruffly tells her he found it on the bus, that it was her's and that this isn't a gift. He does, however, smile at the keychain Tommy gives him, and in a few days, Tommy will see it looped around the handle of one of his guitar cases.

To no ones surprise, Nikki puts a six-pack and a pair of cheap, grape flavoured, edible panties on the table, and slides it gracelessly across the table to Lola wearing a shiteating grin. Mirroring his smile, Lola reaches into the inner pocket of her jacket, and flicks him a little cardboard package. Its unmarked, nondescript, and absolutely no-one at that table trusted Lola to have put something appropriate in that box. Everyone waits with a sort of morbid curiosity as Nikki shakes the box, giving pause before opening it.

"It vibrates." Is all Lola says as he holds up the bright purple cockring, smile on his face giving away how genuinely amused he was with it.

"Presents are cancelled," Sharise declared with faux exasperation, but Tommy's already protesting, holding out his own gift to Nikki.

Sharise hands Lola a small present as Nikki unwraps his. For Lola, its new black lipstick and eyeliner, and for Nikki, its an old poster of his band, London, and a cheap lighter. Nikki's expression is unreadable, blinking slowly at the poster, the room's gone quiet enough that everyone can hear it crinkle in his hands as he looks up at Tommy's smile.

"It's the one I used to have on my wall, man; my folks kept all my old posters, I thought you might wanna burn the shit out of this one." He gestures to the lighter, nervousness bubbling in his stomach, unsure of how Nikki feels about it, his face still a little shocked.

Little by little, Nikki's lips turn to a smile, a bright, beaming, genuine grin. He practically launches himself across Mick to wrap Tommy in a hug, fierce and bright. Mick grumbles, but Nikki just crows about how weirdly cool it was.

"Yeah, i figured arson and petty revenge are like, two of your favourite things," Tommy babbles, hugging Nikki back, quietly pleased with himself. Its a strangely endearing moment, and when Tommy looks over at her, he catches Lola's adoring smile as she watches them, but its gone quickly.

Dinner is fun, between the bottles of rum they finish off between them and the lines of coke they have for dessert, which Sharise mostly abstains from, they don't really get out of line. Except for when Nikki sets the poster on fire with the candle in the middle of the table, and he ends up getting kicked out.

Whatever, he was mostly done anyways.

After dinner they all go their separate ways, but Tommy catches Lola before she gets too far. She's tipsy, grinning in the cold night air, happy to let Tommy lead her where he may. Lacing her finger with his, her free hand swings the six-pack Nikki had gotten her, while she hums a tune Tommy recognises but can't place.

They come to a stop outside of the Hall where the band were due to perform the following night, their equipment bus parked and quiet beside the building.

"Nothing's in there yet; we're bumping in tomorrow morning," Lola says, her hamd still in his. Tommy just grins, pulling a set of keys from his pocket, jangling them enticingly.

"So we've got the whole night."

Inside, in the middle of the stage, lit by a single warm, golden spotlight, sits a grand piano. The whole building is empty, save for the two of them, and Lola's grip on his hand tightens. All words leave her, eyes going wide and surprised.

Walking forward, she heads towards the piano, but she doesn't let go of his hand, gently tugging him along with her. His name leaves her lips, a disbelieving, reverential utterance. The lid is already lifted and she carresses the keys with her free hand.

"You didn't have to-" she turns to him, expression awed, but he gives her hand a squeeze.

"Merry Christmas, Lols."

Stepping up to him, her hand is gentle on his cheek, far more gentle, more tender than he was used to her being. Leaning in, they kiss softly, in sync, fitting together as they always had, as they were always meant to. Pulling away, Tommy's grin is fond as he kisses the tip of her nose. Untangling their fingers, he gestures wordlessly to the piano.

Lola sits, hesitates, listening to Tommy's retreating footsteps.

"Where are you going?" She asks quietly, fingers dancing across the keys as she plays a quick scale.

"Vince told me-"

"That snitch." Lola laughs softly, before adding, "'told you I don't like an audience, didn't he?" Tommy agrees, still paused halfway to the door. Lola is quiet for a moment, and she stops in her movements, but then she starts up again, and Tommy's heart is in his throat as he hears thw opwning bars of the song he'd been working on for almost a month amd a half now. The song's not yet finished, but he'd know the opening to Home Sweet Home anywhere.

"Can you stay?" Lola's voice is barely audible above the music. "If you want to, I'd like you to stay." And she doesn't know the lyrics, so she keeps playing what she's heard him play a hundred times over.

"I didn't know you knew this that well," Tommy finds himself smiling, walking back to the piano, to sit down beside Lola where she's shifted over to make room for him. She's smiling too, genuine, actually a little bashful, and she's still playing when she admits her thoughts.

"It's shaping up to be one of my favourites."

[something-tofightfor]

Ryan Brenner Headcanon List

This is for my Neon Lights/Just a Place Ryan Brenner. 

Tagging: @the-blind-assassin-12 @its-my-little-dumpster-fire @benbarnestongue @lexxierave @suchatinyinfinity @obscurilicious

Enjoy! 

Tell me something we should know about him, but you’re worried no one will ask or care or want to know. This is me asking, caring, and wanting to know.

Ryan’s middle name is Abraham. He was born on March 14th, 1985. He’s right handed. He sleeps on his right side or on his stomach when he’s really comfortable, one knee bent, the other leg stretched out. He’s used to sleeping fully clothed - sitting up - but is most comfortable sleeping in a light pair of pajama pants and nothing else.

Ryan’s favorite color is olive green. His favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip. His favorite meal is chicken and dumplings. Ryan prefers to sleep with a window open, even in the winter, because he’s used to fresh air from the trains. Ryan got his driver’s license the day he turned 16, and though he hasn’t always had insurance, he’s kept the license valid because he knew that he’d need it for potential jobs.

The only foreign country he’s ever been to is Canada, and that was just to get through to Alaska. He wants to go to Mexico and Europe, and getting a passport has always been a dream for him.

The only dollar he’d never spend is the one that was given to him as his first tip, and it’s folded into a teeny tiny square and he keeps it tucked behind a picture of his mom that he has in his wallet. 

What was middle school Ryan like? Was he in the band? Did he play trumpet? He’s got the lips for it. Did he play percussion? Was he a good student? Average student with genuine curiosity? Little too concerned with stuff at home to be a student? Did he play baseball? Football? Lacrosse? Did he wear polo shirts? Can he read music?

Middle school Ryan… this is a good one. Ryan was in band - well, he started out in choir, like the rest of the kids, because it was a part of the curriculum, and his mom couldn’t afford to buy or rent him an instrument. He could sing well, and the choir teacher - Ms. Mercer - took a special interest in him, giving him solos in performances and things like that. She caught him one day after school in the music room, sitting in front of the piano, playing random notes… and because she knew that he could sing, asked if he’d ever tried to play the piano.

When he said no, she decided that she was going to help him learn, and offered to teach him after school and during recess - with his mom’s permission, of course. She gave it, and Ryan learned to play the piano slowly but surely over the course of 6th and 7th grade, while also continuing to sing. He learned to read music during this period, too. And because he was really interested, he picked it up very quickly.

Occasionally, he’d play the guitar, too - but he didn’t pick that up until a few years later.

In school, Ryan was a smart, attentive kid. He liked being able to give the right answers to the teachers, liked to learn things, but didn’t like to read much - not because he wasn’t good at it, but because he learns better via hands on experiences. He catches on to things very quickly and retains information.

As he got older, and his home life changed (mom’s new marriage), Ryan’s focus became music instead of academics, because it allowed him to focus on something that he could create, something that would make him feel better.

He was not an athlete in school, but liked to play football with the neighborhood kids - and was always the first person to go in for the tackle, even though he was scrawny and had long legs. By the time he was 13, he’d grown into his speed and was actually very graceful.

Ryan Brenner has never once worn a polo shirt.

What specific thing is sure to be in the fridge and/or pantry when Ryan does the shopping?

Ryan’s not one to go overboard when it comes to grocery shopping, since he’s not used to being able to afford the things he truly enjoys - and is used to buying things that he can easily carry with him/will fill him up when he eats them. He’s used to things like tuna and canned chicken, crackers, protein bars, instant coffee and oatmeal, beef jerky (even though it’s pretty expensive and he only bought it occasionally)... but he’s not picky about his food.

So, now that he has a place to stay and access to a refrigerator, he’s been able to buy some of his favorite things again. He loves grilled cheese sandwiches - they remind him of being little, of the way his mom would always have one waiting for him when he got home from his half days of kindergarten. He’s a huge fan of swiss cheese, but when it comes to the perfect grilled cheese, he’ll usually buy pepper jack or provolone, since they’re super melty.

Along with cheese, another thing Ryan always picks up for the fridge is orange juice - which you’ve caught him drinking straight from the carton.

Pantry foods that Ryan always picks up? Popcorn and chunky peanut butter. Ryan loves salty snacks like pretzels.

Gimme those weird tics. The stuff you notice about him if you spend enough time with him. Does he jingle the car keys when he’s ready to go? Does he only scratch his nose with his thumb or his ring finger? Does he let his teeth click together when he’s thinking hard? I need to know.

Ryan rubs at his eyebrows a lot when he’s thinking hard - or when he’s focused on something, usually with his right hand. 

He second guesses his words a lot, because he doesn’t want to speak out of turn or sound foolish, so unless he’s with people he feels really comfortable with, he isn’t usually the one to start the conversation.

He always puts his right shoe on first, and double knots the laces before he tucks them into the tops of his boots.

Ryan double checks the locks on the doors when he leaves the house.

He chews on his nails occasionally, but never actually bites them off. He hums to himself a lot.

He doesn’t sneak up on people.

When Ryan texts, he always uses punctuation, but doesn’t always use full sentences.

Though he can focus on things intently, little things often catch his attention - hearing music from across the store, the way things are organized, the intricacies of other people’s talents (the details in your pictures, the way people create art, the ingredients in food) - and he’s not afraid to question people about these things when he’s interested. It makes him forget that he doesn’t want to interrupt, because he wants to learn about what makes other people happy.  

When did he start playing music? Why? What did he think would come from it? Was it always a dream to record or did he simply jump at the opportunity like a train he knew he wouldn’t catch a second time?

He started playing the piano in school, and started playing guitar at home. His dad has a cheap old acoustic guitar, and Ryan would (at the age of 12/13) come home from school and make sure no one was home before he’d pick it up and strum it. He didn’t know what he was doing at first, but he liked feeling the connection to the father that he could barely remember.

He wrote his first song - about his neighbor’s dog barking at night - at the age of 12. His mom caught him playing the guitar one day when she came home from work early, and at first she was surprised, but when she saw that he was treating the instrument with respect, she allowed him to play it… and he never tried to keep it secret again.

He started playing for fun, because he enjoyed the piano and singing, and wanted to see if he could learn something else, too - and it turns out that he could. After he left home and started traveling by train, he found the Washburn in a pawn shop, forked over his last bit of cash for it, and it became his best friend. Ryan taught himself to play guitar during the long, empty hours on the trains, moving between cities in the dark. He played in gas station parking lots and empty parks.

He never really thought about recording until after he was already on the road and found Cowboy and Virginia. He just liked playing. When he met Georgie, he started thinking about what it would be like to record, to have a copy of his vocals and playing. By the time he was 21,  he’d been on the road for just under 6 years and had improved his playing to the point where he was almost constantly thinking about his own music… but not out loud, because the people he played with weren’t consistent, and he never felt as if he was good enough to sing and play his own stuff without a backing band.

I wanna know something he’s passionate about. When he gets goin’ he won’t shut up. Or maybe something that makes him really angry. Like a good righteous anger, you know? 

Not being taken seriously is one of the things that Ryan is very quick to get upset about. He’s more than just the way he looks - and people usually won’t take the time to get to know him. They hear him playing, see his face, think he’s just another good looking guy that wants to be famous, and don’t try to get to know him or see past what his appearance says. It frustrates him that he’s typecast, because he tries not to judge people based on the way that they look.

That’s one of the reasons that he’s so unwilling to speak a lot when he first meets someone. He’s used to people not hearing him or not caring what he’s got to say that he figures it’s best to say what he has to and nothing more. He’s got a lot to say, though, especially if it’s a topic he cares about - like encouraging others. Ryan HATES when people try to limit people, and will talk himself blue about why they shouldn’t hold back when they want something just because someone else told them they couldn’t or shouldn’t do it. (Which is funny because he held back on writing and playing his own stuff for so long.) He thinks that people should do what makes them happy and fulfilled, and will always go out of his way to help people out when they need it most, even at the expense of his own feelings.

I wanna know his mama’s name and what he misses about her and something he learned from her that is still a part of him.

Laura Mason met Ryan’s dad James Brenner when she was twenty, got pregnant at 21, and had Ryan just before she turned 22. Unfortunately, James got into an accident at work when Ryan was four, leaving Laura and Ryan alone. Luckily, they got a small settlement, and it was enough to keep the household afloat while she raised Ryan. She met her second husband, Thomas, when Ryan was seven, and for the first few years, things were great… until they weren’t anymore, and Thomas started abusing both of them - Laura verbally, and Ryan physically. (Ryan was always very grateful that Thomas’ anger was directed at him and not Laura, and he gladly took the punches so his mom didn’t have to.)

Ryan misses his mom’s hugs, and the way she always made time to tuck him in at night, even when she was working 2nd shift and had to come home on her lunch breaks to do so - telling him a different thing that she loved about him before she turned off the lights. Unfortunately, this stopped right around the time Ryan turned 10, and Thomas thought that it was “unnecessary” for her to “coddle her kid”.

The thing that sticks with him the most is something that she told him when he started to go to school. They were on the couch, right before she met Thomas, and when he thinks about it, he can still feel her arms wrapped around him, smell her perfume. She told him “Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, Ryan. No one else is going to make the same impression on the world as you are.” Another thing she made very clear to him? Being respectful of the people around you is IMPERATIVE, even when they don’t give you the same consideration.

Does Ryan have any guilty pleasures?  What’s something he misses when he’s traveling? How does he feel about feet? What’s something he’s really picky about?

Ryan’s guilty pleasure is long, hot showers. He misses the feeling of being clean when he travels, and no matter how broke he was, two things that he always made sure to have in his pack were deodorant and a decent shampoo. Since he doesn’t like to cut his hair,  he always wants it to look as clean as possible, even when he can only spend a few minutes under the water. He knows what people think of people like him, so he wants to do what he can to ensure that he doesn’t fit the stereotype - and always tries to at least smell nice, even if his clothes are worn and his hands aren’t totally clean..

Ryan’s other guilty pleasure is ice cream. He doesn’t really like sweet stuff, but he’s a sucker for ice cream and will never turn it down, which is why he was so excited for the gelato in Vegas.

I want the story of his first meeting with cowboy. Why he hasn't tried to make his own music? his favorite city to visit and why? what is a must he carries in his pack?

The first time he met Cowboy, he actually met Virginia first. Virginia heard him playing guitar and singing, and stopped to talk to him. She asked him to play something for her, and he got a little cocky - which she laughed at. She recognized that Ryan was alone and needed some guidance or he wasn’t going to last too long out on his own, and offered to introduce him to Cowboy, her ‘good friend’ (they weren’t together yet… just traveling together). Ryan met Cowboy and they instantly clicked.

Though they didn’t stay together at all times, the majority of the next few years was spent traveling together, playing music and making connections before they went their own ways. Cowboy and Virginia introduced Ryan to more of their friends - Kenny, Georgie, a woman named Jen that Ryan always stayed with in Arizona because she reminded him of his mom - and Cowboy even mentioned the fishing gig in Alaska, sending Ryan up north for the first time. Cowboy (and Virginia) were Ryan’s closest friends for many years, and Ryan even stood in as best man when they got married by a woman they met in Louisiana. The ceremony wasn’t exactly legal, but it was enough for Ginny and Cowboy, and Ryan was honored to be asked to be there with them for the most important day of their lives.

Ryan’s always been very shy about writing and whether or not he actually possesses the talent to create his own music. No one specifically told him not to write or play his own stuff, just that he was more likely to be successful playing tried and true hits. Cover bands are much more likely to get booked and find work than original ones, so Ryan was more focused on making a living than he was about forging a path based on the things that he came up with. He’s always written stuff, but never thought that it was any good. PLUS, he didn’t have anyone super consistent to play with, which made it difficult to ever fully realize his music with anything more than his own vocals and guitar.

He loves visiting the southwest. Likes being in the desert, seeing the sand and the cliffs, loves the heat and the culture. He loves El Paso, because of the people and the vibe - and the food. Ryan LOVES Mexican food.

Along with his deodorant and shampoo, Ryan’s always got to have a notebook and a pen with him, just in case. Even though the recorder took over for the lyrical stuff, he still wrote things down quite a bit - putting pen to paper calms Ryan down. A lot of the things that he had in the pack that got stolen in Utah - letters, pictures - were stuff from home, stuff that he had sent to some of the more ‘established’ friends that he picked up as he passed through places - were really sentimental, but living like he did, it was best to only keep the essentials. His hat, though? That’s something that he got as a teenager, and it’s the only thing that he has to tie himself back to his home.

Tell me his favorite song to listen to that he would never cover because “it’s perfect how it is”

He’s got a couple. Creedance Clearwater Revival “Have You Ever Seen the Rain”, “One Headlight” by The Wallflowers (he loves the song, but thinks that Bob and Jakob Dylan can’t be touched vocally and won’t even try). He’s always very apprehensive about The Beatles and even “Hallelujah” is a song that he’s only going to pull out when he’s sure that he can nail it. Ryan strives to be authentic in everything that he plays and sings, so if he’s not feeling it, he won’t do it.

 Listening to music in headphones or filling the house with it? Does he like Reader in dresses or jeans? Which movies do we watch curled up on the couch? How does he eat his steak? Would he go back to school?

He likes to listen to music, no matter how he does it. Now that he’s not traveling anymore, he likes to lisen so that it fills the whole house - usually on the radio, or through your laptop/computer. You’ve got a smart speaker in the bedroom, so he uses that a lot. But when he got his new phone, the first thing he did was put a bunch of music on it, so when he’s relaxing (and you’re not home) or he’s out walking or in public, he’ll use headphones and get lost in the music. For Ryan, a lot of the things that people take for granted are still pretty new and exciting to him - like having a portable way to play music.

It’s been warm whenever he’s been with you, so he hasn’t really seen you in long pants often, aside from leggings when you’re lounging around the house. He likes dresses better than shorts, but isn’t going to complain much about anything you wear, because he just likes looking at you.

Ryan enjoys comedies. Though he’d treat himself to an occasional dollar movie or cheap matinee, he’s kind of behind when it comes to new releases… so he’s definitely not opposed to curling up on the couch and binging Netflix - popcorn in hand.

Ryan’s definitely a meat and potatoes guy. He likes his steak rare to mid rare, burgers mid rare. He doesn’t like to overcook things, because the taste changes dramatically. However… when he eats grilled hotdogs? He likes them to be kinda crispy on the outside for that well-grilled taste. Ryan’s determined to learn how to grill properly, especially because it means that he can cook for you.

He’d go back to school, but it’s not really on his radar right now - he just wants to focus on getting used to a more settled life without worrying about taking on a ton more responsibility, especially since he’s working a few jobs at the moment.

Should he get a dog? Is he considering having kds someday? Favorite drink? Christmas or birthday? Does he watch sports? His pet peeves? Is there any part of his body he doesn’t like to be touched?

Ryan never really thought about having pets, because of the way he lived before. Traveling didn’t allow him to take another living thing with him. And with your schedule - the fact that you’re never really sure when you’ll be leaving also makes it difficult. A cat would be easier to handle for both of you, but at this time, pets aren’t on the horizon.

Kids… are not something Ryan’s thought seriously about. He doesn’t mind them, gets along well with them, and doesn’t have any issues with them, but again, his lifestyle wasn’t really kid friendly before.

His favorite drink is coffee.

He likes Christmas better than his birthday.

He doesn’t really watch sports, because he’s never had the opportunity to sit and follow a season or a team before, but he’ll pay attention to baseball or football when he’s in bars and they have the games on.

Ryan’s biggest pet peeve is being cut off while talking. He doesn’t like people who act like they know everything. He hates when people leave lights on in rooms that they aren’t in. He doesn’t like when people waste food. He doesn’t like people that seek attention. He doesn’t like when people ignore others - not letting them voice an opinion, not taking them seriously, etc. He hates when people go out of their way to make others feel guilty.

The only place that Ryan doesn’t really like to be touched is his feet - and there’s no reason behind it other than that he knows that he’s almost constantly wearing shoes (or was when he was traveling) and doesn’t want to subject people to that, especially if it’s been a while since his last shower.

 What is his morning routine? Zodiac sign? A story of his first kiss? Any allergies? Favorite Avenger?

I talked about his morning routine in JaP 5. He gets up, stretches, and has his coffee, this is the same thing that he did on the trains, but now he’s gotten to know (and love) the Keurig so much that he doesn’t remember what it’s like to not have one.

Since his birthday is March 14, he’s a Pisces.

His first kiss was when he was 15 with a girl named Erin that was a year older than him and lived four houses down the street. Her friend thought Ryan was cute and dared her to kiss him thinking that she wouldn’t do it - but Ryan was VERY into girls at that time, and thought Erin was super cute so he had no problem kissing her back.

He does not have any allergies that he is aware of.

Ryan’s favorite Avenger is Spiderman, because he’s just a regular kid that finds out that he can do good for the people that he cares about.

He’s not huge on comic books, though, and was much more into Saturday morning cartoons as a kid. He loved the Ninja Turtles when he was a kid, and also really liked Inspector Gadget.

Ryan’s Tattoos

Ryan’s got a lot of ink, and will probably end up with more. For starters, here are the two that we *know* he’s got: the bird on his arm and the lines and dots on his fingers.

The bird tattoo on his arm (I believe it’s a hummingbird based on the wings and the glimpses we see of it throughout the movie) is for his mom. It reminds him to be open to and accepting of change, to pursue his dreams and to remember that small, simple ideas can become great things in time. ALSO. The hummingbird, to Ryan is a constant reminder that his mom was there - and she loved him - and that he’s got to do what he needs to do in order to create his own happiness. He got it as soon as he turned 18 and it was his first tattoo.

The lines and dots on his fingers were done by a teenage Inuit girl in Alaska while Ryan was up there working on the fishing boat. She was learning to tattoo, and wanted to practice, and even though looking back, it probably wasn’t a good idea to get hand tattoos while in such a cold environment, he got them between trips, when the boat was docked for a little over a week for repairs and to unload. The girl that he got them from was very shy and unsure of her skills, and in an attempt to raise her confidence level, Ryan volunteered to be her test subject. They were the second tattoo that he got.

The third one is the tattoo on his ribcage - it’s the constellation Lynx (see attached image) - but also included below and to the right of the center of the constellation is NGC-2419, which is a deep sky object referred to as “The Intergalactic Wanderer”, and is one of the objects in the Milky Way that is furthest from the center of the galaxy - and is 275,000 light years away from our solar system. It’s lonely, and it’s separated from the rest of the galaxy, but it’s still a part of everything, and it’s kind of how Ryan views himself vs. the rest of the world - but it’s visible in areas that don’t have a lot of light pollution, and Ryan saw it often when he was in Alaska, on the boat… and has even been able to find it sometimes using telescopes or binoculars while on the trains or in the desert.

He’s got a tattoo on the back of his shoulder, too. It’s a geometric design, roughly 6-7 inches in size, and is a mess of lines and dots and circles. The story behind this one is actually a lot of fun - and Ryan won’t hesitate to talk about it, even though it features a woman, it’s not what you might think.

When he was 28, Ryan was staying in Chicago with Georgie and some other friends, and ended up going out with a large group. Someone in the group wanted to get a tattoo, but no one wanted to go to the shop with him. Ryan went, thinking it would be a good way to pass the time, since it was snowing pretty heavily outside. So he went to the shop, and the girl doing the tattoo for his buddy Sean couldn’t keep her eyes off of Ryan the whole time, which led to a conversation about his tattoos. After explaining to her that he had a few, but hadn’t had the money to get any new ones for a few years, she offered to give him a tattoo - in exchange for a date. He agreed, and they went out (twice), had a good time and she designed the tattoo for him and did it in the shop after they were closed one night. He looked her up the next time he was in Chicago, but she didn’t work at the tattoo place anymore, and he didn’t have any other way of finding her.

The other tattoo is the one on his wrist of the Bellagio fountain coordinates, and getting it allowed him to have a lasting, meaningful connection with you, even though he never thought he was going to see you again. The way you felt about your parents and having that date on your body is the way that he felt about you, even then, and it wasn’t enough - but it was going to have to be.

 What’s something he would tell you if he had the right words?

As I said before, Ryan doesn’t think that he’s very good with words, so instead of telling you things, he tries to show you. But:

He’d tell you that he never wants you to compromise your own dreams for his. That he wants you to do what makes you happy - that if it doesn’t involve him, he gets it, but that he wants to involve you in every part of his life. He’d tell you that he feels like you’re a missing piece for him, that he was looking for you - and what you represent - for longer than after Vegas, it was before, too. The wandering and the learning and the life that he led before you was necessary, and he wouldn’t change much of anything (though he would have liked to go home before his mom passed to say goodbye), because it meant that he was more than prepared to make the decision to stop. Ryan would do anything to convince you that even though he might still go occasionally, he’d never leave you willingly.

 What’s something he’s always wished he could do?

Ryan wishes that he could paint or draw. He’s happy with playing guitar and piano, and he can admit that he has a decent voice, but he wishes that he was able to visually create things, too. That was one of the things that he and the tattoo artist talked about while she was inking his shoulder; she freehanded the design onto the transfer sheet, and Ryan was really impressed.

Another thing that Ryan wishes that he could do? Cook. He’s never had the opportunity to seriously learn before (aside from short-order stuff in the diners that he’s worked in and simple recipes) … but now that he’s finally got a ‘home’, maybe this will change.

[smoothshift]

Compared to other interests, the social aspect of the car hobby really sucks via /r/cars

Compared to other interests, the social aspect of the car hobby really sucks

Before I get into this: This has been on my mind for a while so I figure I could throw it out there. I'm not expecting this hobby to change at all, because there's no way it really can change, but I figure I'm not the only person who feels this way, so someone should say it. Whatever here's my long post.

As a social hobby, being into cars actually kinda sucks unless you have money. I say this because there are a lot of invisible barriers to participation that mostly depend on how much money you have. As for participation, let's say you just bought yourself a car, the classic Honda Civic, for example, or you've been driving it for years, and now you want to get into cars as hobby. Well you stop by an online automotive discussion board and what are the things you see? Generally, it's discussion of new products on the market, videos from the popular youtubers, general experiences and opinions, working on cars, and actually driving cars, usually in that order of frequency. Let's take a look at what you'll find in these threads.

New Products: Always a staple for keeping up on the hobby, so what's new today? Got some news about some Porsches, the new Corvette, reviews on the new Mazda 3, and it's always fun and neat to read about, but that stuff is really out of your reach for now.

Youtubers: There's a lot of videos about rare and/or fast cars, tests comparing cars, guys showing off flashy cars, going to track meets and racing, etc. All this stuff seems pretty cool, but you've never even seen most of these cars in real life let alone driven one, it's all beyond your level, but that's fine, what else is there?

General experiences and opinions: Here's something you can participate in without needing a newer, fast car or a completely restored something or other, what have we got? “What seemingly basic car surprised you?” “Whats the worst car you've ever driven?” “Manual vs automatic” etc. Lot's of comparisons here, what can you really say since all you've ever driven is your Honda Civic, the parent's Malibu with which you passed your driver's test, and Uncle's Mustang that he let you drive around the block once? Does everyone here buy another car every other week? Do they have friends that just toss them the keys to their cars? That's fine, there's got to be something you can talk about here.

Working on cars: Ahhh here we go. You used to help your dad do oil changes, brake bleeds, one time you changed the timing belt, then you got your car and did the alternator and cv axles. You can talk about this stuff. Oh, wait, this is a lot of discussion and videos about performance mods, engine swaps, serious work, and most of it is on cars outside your financial reach anyways, nevermind the fact that you live in an apartment and can't pull out the engine in the parking lot, even if you had the specialty tools like an engine hoist. Even if you did, that car is your transportation to work and school and you can't have it out of commission while you try modding it. Is there anything you can participate in here? Well now, here's something.

Actually driving cars: Hell yes. You've done just about anything you can do in your little car. You've taken it to parking lots to practice throwing it sideways and braking when dry, wet, and icy, you've tamed the mountain roads—both paved and dirt—to practice apexing corners, braking points, accelerating out of turns, managing understeer/oversteer, all that stuff, and you've practiced techniques you've seen online like the Scandinavian Flick until you could do it in your sleep.

So here's the one thread this week that actually talks about something you can contribute to, and you describe your experiences. And what's this? You've now got people calling you a piece of shit for doing such things on public roads and saying you should take it to a track. Now you don't have a track within 300 miles of you, driving to one would require taking off work, paying track fees, and paying to prep your car, so it's extremely difficult. Then you notice that the people saying such things don't have such problems because in their sigs/flair they have a multi-car garage where each car costs at least 10x as much as what you paid for yours. Maybe you could wait for next week's thread since very few people actually talk about driving their cars.

Maybe you're better off finding a different hobby, but here's one last thread, it's about how the current economic situation is making cars difficult to buy for young people. Apparently, this thread was made for you. What do you find inside though? It's just turned into a debate about whether buying a car cash or financing it and investing the money is better. You have no idea because you've never had enough money to even consider investing, so you're shit out of luck here too.

This irks me so much because out of any hobby I've ever participated in, this is only a problem here because this hobby focuses so much on what you can buy rather than what you can do with it. In the shooting hobby, you can get into it for $300 or less for almost anything, then you just have ammo and range fees, unless you have public land nearby. And better yet, when you go to talk to people online, all you have to do is have an interest in the hobby, developing your own skills, and go shooting every so often and you're as valid of a participant as the next guy, because there, it doesn't matter if you bought the best thing, if you can't use it then who cares? Same goes for guitar. Buy a $200 Ibanez and everything after that is all you learning how to play it. The dude with the $3000 guitar doesn't get special recognition just for having it if he can't play. And for participating in discussions, you get to be a helpful contributor by being experienced, and you can gain experience by reading, practicing, and general learning over time.

In contrast, just reading about cars doesn't get you very far here, practicing doesn't matter if people rarely talk about driving, and everything after that has a price barrier. Even just focusing on the driving portion of the hobby rather than the possession portion, the guy who has the Corvette, STI, or something can smoke your Civic because unless you are some god of driving, he just has to not crash or spin out. But in shooting, the guy who knows how to shoot can use his pawn shop P89 to beat the noob with the $4000 race gun in any competition possible. In music, the skilled player can crank some sound out of a cheap instrument, while an expensive one will still sound like shit from a bad player. But here, you can literally buy your way to success.

Now I'll admit that I'm exaggerating a little bit. I have participated in plenty of discussions here and money isn't the absolute end-all-be-all of being involved in the hobby, but for most discussions I do feel like I'm on the outside looking in because I don't have the cash to upgrade from a basic transportation-mobile, but why should I feel like I have to “upgrade”? I never felt like I needed to upgrade when I was playing a $150 knock-off Strat or shooting a milsurp P1, but here you do, and it's going to cost you.

[blueangelicrose]

A New Beginning: Chapter 9(part 2): The Sister Arrives

As she played the last of her guitar solo and sang the last of the lyrics, a sudden applause came out of nowhere and somewhat made her jump out of her seat. When she came back to reality from being on cloud 9 with her music. She realized that she was surrounded by people of all sorts, applauding her talents. She, of course, still couldn't completely see, but she could tell that she and the charming sounding stranger weren't the only ones anymore. Soon enough, she started to hear stuff being dropped in her guitar case. She then realized that it was coins that were being flung in and since she couldn't hear properly, she desperately hoped that they were throwing in dollar bills as well. Josephine couldn't wait for the spell to wear off. Just seeing nothing but white spaces for her surroundings and grey human shaped blobs for the people around her was getting on her last nerves. She was one of those people that if she can't see it, then it's not there or doesn't exist. Then, as she was about to check to see, (with her hands), how much was thrown in, the stranger then picked up the case and gathered up the money and neatly put it all in order.

"Well, well, well~..... It looks like you've earned yourself a pretty penny!" She was about to ask him if he could count how much she had, but it looked like that was already done before she could ask him. "You're total so far is about 100,000 dollars." She was about to ask how that was even possible, when~ she was cut off again. "You have about 1,000 dollars from these lovely people here. And I gave you about 99,000 dollars. Say miss? What DO you plan on using this much money for?" She didn't know it, but this sweet talking southern like gentleman was staring at her with bright green glowing eyes. And little did she know, this wasn't his natural eye color but the result of his powers to stare into a person's inner being. Seeing from their true personalities, their inner most desires, to their souls. He once actually tried this ability on his boss out of curiosity, and all he got as a result was a pair of eyes staring right back at him. But other than his boss, nobody else was able to do that. But when he looked closer into her soul, he at first saw a beautiful and bright luminescent ball of pure white light. Which at first, he thought it was her soul, but then he noticed that the ball of light started to change colors and somewhat of it's form. He had a perplexed look on his face, but regardless, he stared deeper seeing if he can find her weak and greedy side. But when he increased his stare along with his powers, the ball seemed to burst! Then it formed itself into the form of a young woman. It was Josephine's ethereal form, and it almost looked other-wordly, but in a good way. She was sitting up straight, her eyes were closed and her hands were on her lap which were folded very delicately. She was colored in total ghostly white radiating various colors of the rainbow. But only a deep red glow remained in the middle of her chest. She didn't look like she was paying attention to him. He honestly didn't really know what to do in this situation.

Josephine then realized that a pair of eyes were staring at her very intensely. She assumed that it was the stranger. He did give her a lot of money. She figured that since he asked that question, he would want to know if she could handle the responsibility of managing that much cash. She knew it was next to impossible to look in his eyes with certainty with how bad her eyes were. But nevertheless, she turned around, breathed in and out slowly, and using what spiritual power she had stored for emergencies, opened her eyes slowly and asserted herself. She replied, "Sir, though I cannot see you completely, and I know that I can't possibly ever repay you with how things are for me (financially speaking). Though I do like to express my gratitude for your your compliments, money, and generosity." While she was talking, he continued to stare at her soul in amazement. Mostly because when she turned around towards him and opened her eyes; her soul's eyes opened. The eyes were completely black except for her iris's. They, like her sister's eyes, were a piercing icy blue that seemed to stare right into your soul. Those eyes stared right back at him with just as much intensity as he was giving off. He couldn't take his eyes off her even if he wanted to. Her eyes were giving him a strong and comforting squeezing sensation throughout his entirety and wished that she would keep staring into his entire being for as long as she could. Which his hope was, for as long as he lived. He never felt this sensation before, he wanted more of it, and unknowingly increased his powers and stared harder at her. Josephine then noticed that amongst the white and gray colors, there was this overwhelmingly bright emerald green light. When she squinted and tried to adjust her eyes, she noticed that the green light was coming from the strangers pupils. She never knew that mortals had the power to make their eyes glow like she and her sister could do. The glow was strong, hot, and intense and it never once wavered. She stared at them for what seemed like an eternity, it was so mesmerizing that she couldn't bare to look away. Once she came to her senses, she felt a bit awkward and thought numerous questions like, "Why look so intensly and intently at me? Do I have something on my face? Is seeing a human that strange? I thought there was humans still living on Inkwell Isle?"

She then thought up a way to repay the stranger and break the ice in this awkward stare down match. "Ummm....if you want, I can pay you back if you don't mind if I give you an item that you can later pawn off later for some money?" The stranger finally snapped out of his alluring trance and tilted his head in confusion and replied, "An item my dear?" She then reached in her secret pocket of her guitar case, that's mainly for guitar picks, and pulled out a heart shaped diamond broach that had silver metal casing all around it. The metal's edge had small gems of amethysts all aligned perfectly along the heart shaped diamond. The broach also had a small crown made of the same metal casing on top of the diamond heart. The little crown also had little and intricate designs on it along with three small amethysts placed along the rim of the crown. Though this broach was small and light, it's appearance demanded that it'd be treated like a piece of jewelry that was meant for only royalty to wear. The stranger was astonished and didn't really know what to make of it. He also wondered why she was carrying this in a guitar case of all places. From what she said about pawning it off, sounded like this broach was her last resort in making some money. "Is it all real and authentic?" She nodded, "yes" to the question. "Is it also precious to you?" She also nodded, "yes". "Then why do you feel obligated to give away something this precious to you in order to repay a give-out that was for a simple song request and teaching lessons? (Which I have yet to receive any.)" She sighed, and said, "When I was growing up, my father always taught me that I shouldn't just accept simple handouts if you have other options. Because if you did, it would resemble pity and it would bring shame and dishonor to yourself and your family. The only time you were to take the handout is because you would have no other options. My family was built on concepts and ideals like those. Not much that I can do about it. The broach is indeed important to me, but I prefer that it would end up with a good family someday than stay with me and for me to end up ruining it. That's why I don't mind you pawning it off. Hopefully a little girl will see it and would want and love it for all of her life. Much better than I would that is." The stranger didn't need his powers to see that she was sad of letting it go and was holding in her suffering as best as she could. The stranger looked at the broach again and a small smile made its way to his face. He then took the broach gently away from her hand and as he took a closer look at it, it gleamed and shone in the sun. It seemed like it was smiling at him and trying to give him the subtle but not so subtle hint in saying, "You know what you have to do~."

The stranger raised a brow and a very amused smile spread across his face. He looked at her and noticed that even under her sunglasses, she was tearing up. He then looked at his watch, then looked back at her. He sighed and said, "Miss, I don't exactly know how precious and important this is to you. But I won't take and pawn this off simply because of a well deserved handout to someone who needed it." He pulled out his handkerchief and gently put it in her hand. "Here, use this, I'll be right back." She was a bit confused at first, but soon enough, it came to light within those confusing few seconds. He had walked over to florist shop and bought a bouquet of wild flowers and a fancy purple tipped white rose. He had set aside the wild flowers and gently grabbed her other hand and placed the rose in her hand. "Be careful when holding or gripping it, it has thorns." She was a little confused, but then he told her to hold it up by her nose and smell it. Once she did, she realized what he did and made a shy smile on her face and blushed a bit. She kind of wished that he bought a bouquet instead so that she could hide her embarrassed face. But, regardless, she was happy despite having to give away her mother's broach because of her family's principles. "I don't understand, if you're not taking the broach to pawn it off, what're you going to do with it? And why give me such a sweet smelling and probably very expensive flower?" "Well my dear, it's quite simple. I don't need to pawn it off; mainly because I earn enough money at my job. And I would HATE to see this lovely piece of jewelry such as this to be handed to some no good pawn shop owner, who probably won't even care if it's items are sold to a good and responsible customer. Instead, I think I'll keep it. I think it looks quite fetching on me and completes my "look". I have a thing for "hearts" you see? And the flower? Well.....that because it's for a lovely lady that's given me her "heart" to me. So don't you think it's only polite that I do the same?" She turned a deep red from embarrassment but broke out in a sweet sounding laughter. To him, her laughter sounded like it had a hint of small bells/chimes blowing in the wind. It instantly lifted his spirits to the point where he thought that he passed on to a happy and paradise-like place in the afterlife. In between the laughters, she said, "I know you mean well and all and probably didn't mean to do this, but that pun/pick up line was so cute, funny, cheesy, and lame (in a good way), that I can hardly contain myself! *Pfffttt* I have a question. Is your job being a comedian or something? *Hah!* Because you're very good at it! (Giggles)."

He didn't mean to be THAT funny. He sorta felt a little embarrassed now and was slightly blushing. "So~ do you like the flower?" She then restrained herself from laughing any further and tried to calm herself down to give him a proper response. "Yes! It smells very lovely! I really wish I could see how beautiful this flower is. But, I really wish that there is something that I can do for you in return for all your generosity that you have given me. Regarding principles or not." The stranger knew this was going to happen, so he pulled out one of his business cards and placed it in the secret pocket in her guitar case and said, "If you really insist on trying to pay me back for nothing. Then my business card will be in this pocket. So don't forget about it. Just give me a call and I'll send someone to pick you up. I would love to have you sing for me, my employees, my boss, and the customers. They would absolutely adore your voice, personality, (and if the boss has it his way, then most likely your soul as well). Until we meet again, my little canary." He also told her that she could keep whatever's in her possession, even his handkerchief that she used to dry her tears. He gently picked up one of her hands and kissed it ado. And before she knew it, he was gone.

To Be Continued....

End of chapter 9(part 2).

To be continued in chapter 9 (part 3).

[trashedballrooms]

5-8 guitar asks?

5) Well, yeah actually. My first guitar (A Les Paul) came into my possession because this dude my stepmom knew broke his hand and wasn’t gonna be able to play anymore. My acoustic was like $80 in a pawn shop, and I found my favorite one (ESP LTD Kirk Hammett) in this used bookstore place here that sometimes sells guitars. It was like, insanely discounted for some reason so I just immediately bought it.

6) Mick Mars isn’t some amazingly innovative player or whatever, but I think his way of doing shit is pretty cool.

7) Honestly, just getting into hair metal. Cuz I used to play drums and whatnot but I always just kinda thought there was no way I’d ever be good at an instrument— and then somehow listening to a bunch of idiots use ten million powerchords inspired me.

8) So I very much need to get more guitar picks; but I have a cool snake fang design one that goes with my favorite.

[taperwolf]

More synthesizer fun —

You may have noticed something that's often found in synthesizers missing from my MiniBrute 2S — a keyboard. There's no black keys, there's no white keys. Well, technically there are velocity- and pressure-sensitive pads, and the first 12 are laid out in the usual pattern, but it's not something a piano player could use. This was a choice; the MiniBrute 2 has a keyboard, but the 2S trades that for the pads and a much more complex sequencer. And I can't really play the piano, anyway. But if I do want to play the thing like a piano, I do have a secret weapon for that.

This is the Harmonix Rock Band 3 Wireless Keyboard. It's a video game controller — this is the PS3 version, I think — that was meant to make the rhythmic button-mashing of Rock Band feel more like actually playing an instrument. It didn't sell very well — people didn't actually want to play the keyboards in a rock star simulator, even if you could sling the thing by its strap buttons and make it a keytar.

But, for some reason that even now I'm unclear on, it's not only a wireless PS3 controller, it's also a real MIDI controller, complete with 5-pin DIN jack, that you can plug into any synth that supports that, or into a computer with the proper ports, and just play. There's a touch pad on the handle part that can be either a mod wheel or a pitch bend, and the full-size keys are properly velocity sensitive. Press the right buttons on the game controller bit and you can change octaves. I bought the thing for $20 new back when it was being remaindered — I remember stacks of them in every GameStop.

On this topic, of course, that's not even the most elaborate Rock Band addon there was. Leaving aside the drum kits, there was a real Stratocaster (made by Squier) that read your actual playing as you held down the strings and strummed or picked. I don't have that one — even now, they seem to go for $700 or so. But I do have the next best thing.

This is the Mad Catz Rock Band 3 Fender — well, the headstock says it's a Mustang, but the label on the back says Stratocaster. Again, it's both a PS3 controller and a full-blown MIDI controller. The strings are only present in the strumming area — above, each fingerable fret position is replaced by a button. So you can play it more or less like any guitar (though the feel is a bit off). A bargain at $150. It was also something of a flop, and I got mine a couple of years after it came out for around $40.

However, as it is, I can't actually use it with my synth. See, the way guitar MIDI controllers seem to work is by assigning a different MIDI channel to each string. A MIDI stream can have up to 16 channels, see, with potentially a different instrument (hardware or software) being controlled by each of them. So anything that would be played on the high E goes out on channel 1, the B string gets channel 2, and so on. This is great if you want to play a software synth and have your low strings be tubas and your high strings trumpets, but not so great if your hardware synthesizer only listens to notes on channel 1.

I am, however, swimming in Arduinos. And I have a lot of MIDI adapters to plug into them. So I quickly whipped together an Arduino program to take anything on the MIDI IN port on any channel, and immediately put it out on the MIDI OUT port, copied to channel 1. So now I can play my new synth with the fake guitar!

Well, I could, if I knew how to play the guitar.

(I'm actually learning the guitar, albeit slowly — I got a pawn shop Squier Bullet Strat for myself last year. It's a solid beginner's guitar — the only oddity is that it's co-branded with Monster Energy drink, apparently one of 11 sweepstakes prizes in a Canadian promotion in 2013.)

[distant-rose-archive-blog]

Awwwww Neddy is super cute, his innocence is adorable, I can't wait to read the whole thing, poor windows and poor Emma and Killian 😂 did Wes and Harrison played together? Your kids are awesome 💕💕💕

Thank you very much!

Neddy is a little sunflower child who just loves baseball and having people adore him. Like when he isn’t practicing his swing, you can probably find the Bug cuddled up to someone and using his big blue eyes to his advantage.

I wouldn’t feel too bad about the windows. In the grand scheme of things, not really that major. My personal running gag for these guys is that there is something constantly broken in the house. Furniture breaks all the time because Harrison forgets that he is literally a giant, especially in his young teenage years where he’s already above six feet tall, and just carelessly falls/hops on things and breaks them without meaning. It really annoys Killian at first but he realizes that he doesn’t mean much by it. With that being said, you bet your ass that their living room set is bought from a discount store because they ain’t wasting money on a couch that is only lasting a few weeks. So lacrosse balls through the window? Just an ordinary day.

Did Wes and Harrison play together? Sometimes, but not really. Wes is very competitive and Harrison is just…not. Wes actually doesn’t really friend his teammates because he views them as internal competition for his starting position. I mean, he’s friendly, but he doesn’t necessarily “bro out” and invite them over. Harrison just isn’t into that. In fact, it’s half of the reason he likes football better than lacrosse - because Wes doesn’t play it. Harrison is more likely to practice/play with Neal. They’re a lot closer than Harrison and Wes are. However that being said, it’s not like they didn’t sometimes toss a lacrosse ball around together in the backyard when they’re bored. They sometimes do that, but if they ever really hang out it’s mainly to jam out.

I think I’ve mentioned it before but Harrison plays guitar. Wes doesn’t play guitar but he’s a drummer so sometimes they jam out in the basement. I had this headcanon that Harrison, Wes, Neal, Bobbi and Gideon wanted to make a garage band at some point, even though Neal, Bobbi and Gideon were only half-serious about it and when they realized how expensive instruments and music lessons are, they bailed out. The Jones boy though? They really love music. I mean music is Wes’s true love honestly and music just kinda soothes Harrison’s soul. It’s the one thing they mutually enjoy together without any issue, outside of wanting to murder Beth’s significant others. Harrison and Wes both bought themselves a pawn shop drum set and guitar, and self-taught themselves how to play through YouTube videos. They were horrible at first, which is why they play in the basement - because that’s where Emma banished them to so she didn’t have to hear them. Beth and Neddy both tried to learn guitar from Harrison but they’re both left-handed so they kinda gave up.

[chelseawolfemusic]

Chelsea Wolfe Gear Guide // She Shreds

Chelsea Wolfe has forged a sound that draws from a plethora of styles including heavy rock, ambient, folk, metal, and more, stripping them down to their basics and seeking out the commonalities between them to fuel her rich, textured songs. 

Over five albums (most recently Abyss in 2015), she’s become internationally celebrated for her far-reaching music, soulful voice, and charismatic performances and while her merging of darkness and ambiance have often been described as “haunting,” or “otherworldly,” she can pinpoint the origins of her love of genre-fusions to a familiar source that every musician has experience with: the playlist. “I’ve always created playlists (or in earlier days, mixtapes and mix CDs) and gotten them from friends, and I’m just able to hear the connections in different types of music,” she says. “Something will resonate for me in trip-hop that I’ll also find in an old folk/blues song, or I’ll find the same comfort in a 60s folk song as in a black metal song. I like music that has soul to it, soul that you can feel. Some music out there feels very sterile but fortunately there’s so much good, real music to block that out!” 

With such far-ranging influences, some artists may find their personal vision gets a little lost in the shuffle, but Wolfe’s sound that unmistakably her own. “I think all the different stuff I’ve listened to over the years eventually melded into my own weird thing,” she says. “One of the main reasons I’ve kept this project under my own name, even though it’s full band most of the time, is that I didn’t want to have to compromise on the sound. I wanted to always be able to follow my instincts in writing and allow the music to morph into what it needed to be.” She sites her ongoing collaborations with Ben Chisholm as an essential component of the project, especially in regards to its electronic components, but as always some of her best songwriting starts with the basics. “I’ve always gone back to writing on acoustic guitar though.” 

Chelsea Wolfe by Kristin Cofer 

For Wolfe, one particular acoustic guitar—her mother’s classical model—had a special and long-lasting influence on her music. Although it was missing a tuning peg, she used it to write her first two records, and its unusual, “imperfect sound,” became a cornerstone of her aesthetic. “I still write on that guitar!” she says. “Sometimes an instrument has just got the songs in it. I also write on a 70s Guild acoustic that my dad passed down to me.” 

“I have a few nice guitars and I prefer to tour with those for their tone and reliability but at home I tend to go for the older ones. The older instruments have a more mystical quality. Playing and writing on my mom’s classical in the early days was really key to my sound. That missing tuning peg and my lack of a guitar tuner caused me to tune the strings by ear to that string—turns out it was pretty much D standard. Over time I realized that tuning is much better suited for my voice so I still go low for the majority of my songs. “ 

This fall, Wolfe will release her sixth album, Hiss Spin. Recorded by Converge’s Kurt Ballou and featuring guest spots from Troy Van Leeuwen (Queens of the Stone Age) and Aaron Turner (SUMAC, Old Man Gloom), the album reportedly deals with the concept of scouring inner emotions to make sense of a chaotic world, and contains some of her rawest and heaviest compositions to date. 

Check out “16 Psyche,” the first single to be released from the album below, along with a selection of Wolfe’s most essential gear. Hiss Spin is available for pre-order now.

Guitars:

“I think finding some unique gear is important to a musician’s sound, but also it’s like, if you’ve always dreamed about playing a Fender Mustang then by all means save up for the Fender Mustang! If you can though, I think it’s really important to play the guitar in person first—go to some music stores or pawn shops and see what you’re intrinsically drawn to and what feels good in your hands. That’s how I found the first electric guitar I ever bought for myself, a simple satin brown Fender Jaguar.”

Fender Jaguar

Gibson ES-335

Taylor 716ce

Effects:

“I do have a lot of pedals at this point, but I always try to get pedals that I’ll actually use. I know I’m probably not going to use a tremolo or chorus pedal so I won’t get versions of those just to try. I go for the weird fuzz, distortions and delays most of the time. When I’m making a new album I’ll try out different pedals that are in the studio I’m working in and usually end up getting a couple of those after the record is done. For example, the Death By Audio Apocalypse pedal was my jam on Abyss and it still lives on my board.”

EarthQuaker Devices Talons

Boss RC-20XL Loop Station

DigiTech Supernatural Reverb

Via Issue No.12 She Shreds Magazine

Buy it now!

[sargenthouse]

Chelsea Wolfe Gear Guide // She Shreds

Chelsea Wolfe has forged a sound that draws from a plethora of styles including heavy rock, ambient, folk, metal, and more, stripping them down to their basics and seeking out the commonalities between them to fuel her rich, textured songs. 

Over five albums (most recently Abyss in 2015), she’s become internationally celebrated for her far-reaching music, soulful voice, and charismatic performances and while her merging of darkness and ambiance have often been described as “haunting,” or “otherworldly,” she can pinpoint the origins of her love of genre-fusions to a familiar source that every musician has experience with: the playlist. “I’ve always created playlists (or in earlier days, mixtapes and mix CDs) and gotten them from friends, and I’m just able to hear the connections in different types of music,” she says. “Something will resonate for me in trip-hop that I’ll also find in an old folk/blues song, or I’ll find the same comfort in a 60s folk song as in a black metal song. I like music that has soul to it, soul that you can feel. Some music out there feels very sterile but fortunately there’s so much good, real music to block that out!” 

With such far-ranging influences, some artists may find their personal vision gets a little lost in the shuffle, but Wolfe’s sound that unmistakably her own. “I think all the different stuff I’ve listened to over the years eventually melded into my own weird thing,” she says. “One of the main reasons I’ve kept this project under my own name, even though it’s full band most of the time, is that I didn’t want to have to compromise on the sound. I wanted to always be able to follow my instincts in writing and allow the music to morph into what it needed to be.” She sites her ongoing collaborations with Ben Chisholm as an essential component of the project, especially in regards to its electronic components, but as always some of her best songwriting starts with the basics. “I’ve always gone back to writing on acoustic guitar though.” 

Chelsea Wolfe by Kristin Cofer 

For Wolfe, one particular acoustic guitar—her mother’s classical model—had a special and long-lasting influence on her music. Although it was missing a tuning peg, she used it to write her first two records, and its unusual, “imperfect sound,” became a cornerstone of her aesthetic. “I still write on that guitar!” she says. “Sometimes an instrument has just got the songs in it. I also write on a 70s Guild acoustic that my dad passed down to me.” 

“I have a few nice guitars and I prefer to tour with those for their tone and reliability but at home I tend to go for the older ones. The older instruments have a more mystical quality. Playing and writing on my mom’s classical in the early days was really key to my sound. That missing tuning peg and my lack of a guitar tuner caused me to tune the strings by ear to that string—turns out it was pretty much D standard. Over time I realized that tuning is much better suited for my voice so I still go low for the majority of my songs. “ 

This fall, Wolfe will release her sixth album, Hiss Spin. Recorded by Converge’s Kurt Ballou and featuring guest spots from Troy Van Leeuwen (Queens of the Stone Age) and Aaron Turner (SUMAC, Old Man Gloom), the album reportedly deals with the concept of scouring inner emotions to make sense of a chaotic world, and contains some of her rawest and heaviest compositions to date. 

Check out “16 Psyche,” the first single to be released from the album below, along with a selection of Wolfe’s most essential gear. Hiss Spin is available for pre-order now.

Guitars:

“I think finding some unique gear is important to a musician’s sound, but also it’s like, if you’ve always dreamed about playing a Fender Mustang then by all means save up for the Fender Mustang! If you can though, I think it’s really important to play the guitar in person first—go to some music stores or pawn shops and see what you’re intrinsically drawn to and what feels good in your hands. That’s how I found the first electric guitar I ever bought for myself, a simple satin brown Fender Jaguar.”

Fender Jaguar

Gibson ES-335

Taylor 716ce

Effects:

“I do have a lot of pedals at this point, but I always try to get pedals that I’ll actually use. I know I’m probably not going to use a tremolo or chorus pedal so I won’t get versions of those just to try. I go for the weird fuzz, distortions and delays most of the time. When I’m making a new album I’ll try out different pedals that are in the studio I’m working in and usually end up getting a couple of those after the record is done. For example, the Death By Audio Apocalypse pedal was my jam on Abyss and it still lives on my board.”

EarthQuaker Devices Talons

Boss RC-20XL Loop Station

DigiTech Supernatural Reverb

Via Issue No.12 She Shreds Magazine

Buy it now!

[omgstupendousbouquetbasement]

US Pawn Shops Offer Loans for Hidden Treasures

You never know what you will find in a pawnshop.  Where else can you find a snow blower parked next to a mink jacket? Or an ornate 19th century mantle clock from France next to modern-day laptop computers? At Top Dollar Pawn in Waldorf, Maryland, a man comes in wanting to sell the gold caps from his deceased grandfather's teeth. While some would be taken aback, the affable store manager Stuffie Carroll is not. "This happens all the time," he said, as he explains to the customer that the store would only buy the gold after it had been removed from the teeth. Top Dollar owner Michael Cohen, who has two pawnshops in Maryland outside Washington, DC, buys and sells "anything of value," which includes high-end jewelry, musical instruments, and power tools. His biggest seller is the jewelry he says, as he shows off an assortment of diamond rings and gold necklaces. While sales bring in money, pawn shops make most of their income through cash loans to customers in exchange for an item of value. There is also interest on the loan that is higher than a bank rate. If the money is repaid in 30 days, then the customer gets their item back; otherwise the store keeps it for resale. Eighty-five percent pay back the loan. For people without credit or other financial resources, pawn shops can help them get the money they need. The average loan is $150. "In a lot of cases people don't have any other outlet to get the money they need to get through the week to buy diapers for their babies, put gas in the car, or pay the electric bill," said Top Dollar Manager, Mike Thomen. He said customers often talk to him about their problems and he "encourages them when they're down on their luck." Long gone are the days when pawn shops were considered seedy places, where only people down on their luck went to. Today's pawn shops, mostly independently owned, look more like a brightly lit, welcoming second-hand store. "The pawn shop is the new cool place to come into, the new chic place," said Eric Rizer, the owner of three stores in northern Virginia called Royal Pawn. "We have tons of different stuff like artwork, antiques, rugs, and sports memorabilia." "Customer service is a huge part of our business," Cohen said, "and hopefully that keeps people wanting to come back to us." Like regular customer Anthony Ruggaero who is pawning some tools. "I came to pawn a few times to pay for my wedding, which is in 3 months," he explained. "I bought my fiancé's wedding ring here last week. I have my own business, so as soon as checks come in to help me pay for expenses, I'll buy my stuff back." Hidden treasures It's estimated that 30 million people visit the 11,000 pawn shops in the United States every year, perhaps finding some hidden treasures.  "We had an original Picasso," said Rizer. "We actually had a bird head that I sold to a man for $500." Later Rizer discovered that the bird had been extinct for more than 100 years, and the head was valued at $20,000. He says worn vintage guitars are finding a new market. "These beat up guitars are called reliced," he said. "People go absolutely nuts over them just because they look like they're worn from being out on the road." Including customer Austen Ballard, a music producer at MMP Studios in Burke, Virginia.  "It's so much fun to pick up an old instrument from the 1950s or 60s. You never know where a guitar's been. It might be on a record you've heard on the radio." Cohen said his business has taken a hit from second-hand merchandise internet sales. Although he realizes more pawn shops may have to start selling items on the internet to survive, he thinks the brick or mortar stores are here to stay.  "There's people who go from pawn shop to pawn shop looking for a good deal. We definitely have our regulars that like to bargain with us every week." Like customer Keith Winslow who haggles over the price of some power tools. "I want to talk to the people I'm buying products from," he said. I don't want something from online that may not be exactly what I want." from Blogger https://ift.tt/2UyAgfl via IFTTT