#I am LOSING IT OVER THE LYRICS JESUS CHRIST IS RAPPING

[chimchiri]

Yes, Rainbow put those bandages on 100% for aesthetics. And yes, those are all Rainbow's accessories Scoots is wearing and they're all too big for her. They're just having a fun little photoshoot doing cool poses. Man I loved drawing Rainbow overconfident and arrogant.

I came across this German youtube video (an Easter Bunny parody) with a dope clubbing song (starts 03:25). But the main inspo for these images was the gorgeous lady singing the refrain and her absolutely stunning hairstyle (lady starts at 03:58 if you only wanna see her lmao) , which I immediately wanted to put on Rainbow. Plus I imagine Scoots would want something similar but needed lots of hair pins.

[kjissexy1994]

WORDS OF SHAKESPEARE: ALBUMS OF SUCKAGE: Limp Bizkit-Results May Vary

The year was 2001, Nu Metal was riding high with bands such as Alien Ant Farm with their cover of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal,” Linkin Park had a dynamic debut with Hybrid Theory and of course Jacksonville’s Red capped dynamos Limp Bizkit were still breathing in the success of their third album suggestively titled “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water” with tracks such as “My Generation,” “Boiler” and of course “Rollin (Air Raid Vehicle)” famously used as the entrance theme of legendary professional wrestler The Undertaker in the WWE (then known as WWF) during 2001 when he had the guise of the “American Badass” biker gimmick, but however with Limp Bizkit still embroiled with the controversy over the crushing and death of 15 year old Jessica Michalik during their infamous set at the 2001 Big Day Out Festival in Sydney and the Announcement of guitarist and heart and soul of the group, Wes Borland parting ways with the band to focus on side projects and his other band “Big Dumb Face,” left Fred Durst to pick up the pieces to record their fourth album.

As the band went through six guitarists during recording of the album (including Fred Durst and Bassist Sam Rivers) They went on a nationwide search for a new guitarist with the “Put Your Guitar Where Your Mouth Is” competition, Limp Bizkit then settled with former Snot guitarist Mike Smith and recorded a number of songs for the album which went through name changes with “Bipolar,” “Panty Sniffer,” “Less is More,” “The Search for Teddy Swoes,” before ultimately going with the generic and subtle “Results May Vary.”

Most of the songs recorded with Smith were cut due to executive meddling by Durst and it showed resulting in a depressing puerile mishmash of heavy and bleak tracks.

This album received a massive tonne of negative reception when it was released in September of 2003 after numerous delays, being ranked in at number 3 as the lowest scored album behind “Playing with Fire” by Kevin Federline. It was even being touted by some people as the album that “killed Nu Metal” which is a genre I loathe entirely as it was in a deep decline during that year.

Let’s go in the deep hole of RMV to hear why this album goes into the mantle of an “Album of SUCKAGE.”

RE-ENTRY

The intro track consists of a circus barker yelling to a kid (voiced by Fred Durst) for sixty seconds explaining about Limp Bizkit as “the most ferociously soothing ways of sonic communication to ever be created”

Okay, so I guess they were trying to copy the “Insane Clown Posse” here?

Then it bursts in a generic rock riff with Fred Durst telling people that all around the world knows him, slowing down and fading out with a drum beat... that’s it.

I mean, I was expecting the guitar riff to build up to something exciting instead of this. I know it’s only an intro, but I do know that it’ll go down hill from here on followed by the first single of this album known as...

EAT YOU ALIVE

This song running for four minutes is outright disturbing, the lyrics, the main chorus even the music video featuring Fred Durst kidnapping Thora Birch in a forest, spraying her with gasoline and screaming into a megaphone to her whilst the band plays! The lyrics consists of Durst singing about wanting a girl to look at him and having a strong desire to “sniff her panties?” *VOMITS!* If you ever said those lyrics to a girl that you love in real life, she would immediately break up with you and be warranted a restraining order. The drums and bass sound generic and the guitar work tries to build this up as some sort of a fight song which immediately fails to do so...this was also the first single of this album. THIS WAS THE FIRST SINGLE OF THIS ALBUM...I am not making this up, why on earth would Limp Bizkit release this as the first single of this album, not to mention getting a disturbing music video?

Ugh...

GIMME the Mic

This track is just another generic Nu Metal sounding track, the guitars sound very pungent in aggression but the rest of the instruments deliver nothing. The main hook is heavily sampled from Eric B and Rakin’s Microphone Fiend, later covered by Rage Against The Machine (which I kind of dislike due to their political beliefs) On their posthumous “Renegades” covers album as Limp Bizkit are downright infamous for sampling hooks such as the main chorus of Nine Inch Nails’

“Closer” for their expletive laden song titled “Hot Dog” on “Chocolate Starfish”. Add in Durst’s trademark whiny anger, pathetic song writing and rapping and you have a stinky sounding Nu Metal song that can be made on a “Nu Metal Band Maker” software. Aggressive generic riffs, whiny angry lyrics, fake b-grade angst: profit!

No wonder why that this album and the cover song that I’ll get to later on is one of the factors that killed mainstream Nu Metal in 2003! Next!

UNDERNEATH THE GUN

This song is the first in the number of songs that Fred shows his singing ability and it just sounds absolutely bland and Monotonous. The instruments such as Sam Rivers on the drums and the chords on the guitar have very good delivery and build up in the bridge, but it just sounds absolutely hindered with Fred trying to stay awake singing a song about “suicide and the struggle you have when ending your life becomes an option” with such a dull melody and it goes on for almost six minutes...I mean why did many red Yankees cap wearing Limp Bizkit fans fall for buying this album? The sad sad fact that it sold more copies than any Motörhead albums baffles me extremely. Our god Lemmy must be turning in his grave...

DOWN ANOTHER DAY

Jesus tap dancing Christ, we go from Fred’s whiny anger fuelled tirades to another mellow monotone delivery about our hero singing about missing his summer love (presumably Britney Spears during his somewhat extremely messy affair during the recording of “In the Zone”) and having to deal with the next winter. The lyrics in the main chorus and bridge are repetitive as hell and the instruments are just nearly nonexistent with little or no effort, not to mention that this song is also plagued with very pathetic songwriting...just garbage time indeed...

ALMOST OVER

Yet another extremely repetitive track, explaining Durst’s life from growing up learning how to rap, taking a lot of crap, and being treated as a clown as a little boy to learning how to lose and getting treated as a clown as an older man. Fred rhymes the end of the verses with the words “Little Boy,” and “Older Man” 16 times and the word “Baby” 19 times, totalling up to 51 times!

Another song wrecked by abysmal songwriting from the red capped turd himself, The instruments are getting worse with every track sounding more and more generic with little or no build up, which is sad because Sam Rivers, John Otto and Mike Smith are such good musicians but are being hindered heavily due to Durst’s whiny vocals...the next track should be good, can it?

BUILD A BRIDGE

Ehhh...okay, this song has a bog standard melody and instruments with such a strong build up in the bridge but it’s passable at least, this song features Brian “Head” Welch from KoRn who is a very talented guitarist and perhaps one of the only Nu Metal bands I can tolerate listening to, but his ability is kind of wasted here due to Durst’s sub par ability to sing, not to mention these are one of the songs rumoured to be impulsively directed to Britney Spears. Imagine being one of the guitarists of one of the bands that invented the “Nu Metal” genre only to record a song about being involved with one the most popular pop singers of the time of release?

“LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!” - Chris Croker, 2007

RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT (Featuring Snoop Dogg)

Another Rap/Hip Hop duet with one of the biggest rap/ hip hop legends, and still it’s repetitive as hell despite the funky beat from DJ Lethal as well as Snoop Dogg calling Fred Durst his “nephew” with the lyric “Snoop dogg is in the place to see, do it with my nephew Freddy d.”

You have no relation with this pile of gutter trash whatsoever!!!

This song is attempting to repeat the success with “N 2 Gether Now” featuring Method Man four years earlier in “Significant Other” but it fails massively with Fred’s lyrics in the first and third verses ending with “Baby” 25 times with the same word repeated 10 times in the main chorus totalling up to 35 times. I would be ashamed to have been Snoop to record a duet with who used to be one of the biggest people in music during Limp Bizkit’s popularity from 1999-2001 not to mention rapping a duet to call him his “nephew!”

The bonus track “Take It Home” which heavily samples the song “Milk and Honey” by Bonnie Dobson is another sub par effort having Fred repeat the lyric “Crying Myself To Sleep” whilst DJ Lethal jams....NEXT!

THE ONLY ONE

Mike Smith is trying to do an acceptable riff or two which I praise for but the effort is just completely wasted, this song is just another whinge-fest with lyrics about using terms of having sex and making out such as “first base” (again presumably directed to Britney) but it just sounds absolutely whiny and generic with Fred singing with heavily instrumentation behind him as he repeatedly screaming the word “NOTHING!” Towards the end and it just ends after that.

Such a putrid mess...

Oh and the lyric “It’s No Big Deal?”

It is a big deal when you’re trying to record a follow up to your previous multi platinum when your most talented member leaves and you have to pick up the pieces with six guitarists, two being yourself and Sam Rivers.

LET ME DOWN

“Let Me Down” has a lot of effort but has simple and dull instrumentation and Durst sounds a lot better than the previous tracks, but however the lyrics are very iffy such as “Heartbreak is a Headache, like a toothquake or an earthquake” “Spontaneous Combustion leaves a taste that’s so disgustin’” and “Rumours are Tumours?” Whilst this song is somewhat passable it’s still coming from a 33 year old at the time whining about life and struggles.

LONELY WORLD

Another song about Fred Durst, whining about his past life such as hating high school with bullies trying to put him down as well as making out with his gothic girlfriend out in the creek whilst his mother was asleep along with gross lyrics such as “Just a little skater boy they could pick on

I learned to forgive 'em

Now I got the balls they can lick on”

Jesus Christ Fred! You were 33 years old at the time of release! Just do us a favour and grow up at least. The main chorus and bridge is still very tedious repeating the main title of the song in a total of 37 times. Un-fucken-believable!

PHENOMENON

After what would’ve been an extremely energetic guitar intro from Mike Smith, The band just slams on the breaks with our hero Fred introducing himself as “the incredible, subliminal, the INFREDIBLE D.”

Here we go again with copy, pasting and editing lyrics of other music groups songs and claiming them your own (the song being Bring the Noize with Anthrax featuring Public Enemy).

The main chorus has a lot of effort but the verses, consisting of Fred Durst’s cruisy rapping,

Not to mention the section after the bridge references “Pollution” from their debut album from 1997 “Three Dollar Bill Y’all” which contains the lyric “Gonna Bring that beat back” which is perhaps the only good album from the band themselves (apart from that Faith cover).

“Phenomenon” is just a ratty mishmash of heavy instrumentation in the main chorus and laidback rapping from Fred in the verses.

CREAMER (RADIO IS DEAD)

Another song with Fred Durst taking an aim against the haters proclaiming “Take a look at me now I’m Mr Worldwide and you’re nothing!” But it contains such sucky lyrics and rhymes such as “Mr Halitosis-of the Breath” and verses and the main chorus such as “Hateraid”, and “rolling dice and getting laid” respectively. Fred also believes that “Radio is Dead. Why’s that? Because many radio stations worldwide won’t play your shoddy music anymore? (Unlike Triple M that continues the play that song in two tracks time) plus what’s with the title “Creamer?” A Frank reference to ejaculation? A quick fact, A massive portion of the song was recycled from Limp Bizkit’s unfinished cover of Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s “Relax” which was intended to be in the Ben Stiller movie “Zoolander” hence the title being in the second verse” and Fred Durst’s “blink and you’ll miss it” cameo in the aforementioned movie. Ben Stiller is his “favourite motherfucker” after all.

HEAD FOR THE BARRICADE

An energetic, aggressive fight song against bullying which blatantly references the 1999 Columbine High School shooting in the intro, not paying respect to the victims? How fucking low is that? This song also heavily borrows the refrain “Stick Em, Ha Ha Ha Stick Em!” From The Fat Boys song titled “Human Beatbox” for the main chorus which most of the album and previous albums before it samples lyrics from other songs. Another lyric that catches my ear is “The World can make you sick to your stomach so I put on my headphones and listen to the “Deftones.”

Yeah, I’d rather listen to a huge dose of Deftones after listening to this pile of puke.

I praise the guitar work and build up from Mike Smith which shows his full potential in this song as his talent was heavily wasted in this album, but I still criticise this song for deliberately referencing the shooting tragedy at Columbine High School with no respect to the victims families. You’ve just damaged your reputation with this song in this album Fred, oh wait...it’ll be damaged even further with the next track....

Now we’re getting to the “shitty gritty” of this album...one of the...most disrespectful covers...that still gets played on Triple M seventeen years after it’s original release...and what cemented its place as the cover song that signalled the death of mainstream Nu Metal...

*WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE USED HEAVILY*

BEHIND BLUE EYES (THE WHO COVER)

*VIOLENTLY VOMITS INTENSELY*

WHERE DO I FUCKING BEGIN WITH THIS PILE OF MONKEY SHIT?

This cover of a classic rock ballad from The Who, one of my favourite rock bands of all time from my favourite albums “Who’s Next” is just indescribably DISRESPECTFUL, PUTRID AND WEAK AS PISS!!! Complete from the non existent sampled guitar work, Fred Durst’s inability to sing with his monotonous delivery of vocals and the dreary sound effects in the main chorus sounding like when you turn on a Sony PlayStation 2.

There is absolutely NO EMOTION in this cover at all! In the original version from The Who, Roger Daltrey sings this song with heavy emotion plus he sounds very angry in the bridge section. And where is the bridge section in this cover exactly? Oh...it’s replaced with a Speak N Spell, A FUCKING SPEAK N SPELL saying “Discover” and spelling “L.I.M.P” part of their terrible band name that’s named after a disgusting sex game in Britain, not to mention, Fred’s statement that he’s not telling lies is another stealthy direction to Britney Spears FOR FUCKS SAKE! I thought that I was hearing a demo version of song containing the section with the Speak N Spell during the instrumental break and Fred whining about “being sorry and not telling lies” would be a placeholder recorded before Mike Smith joined hoping that they would record a much more aggressive, rap heavy version of the bridge from the original but nope! They apparently released this absolute joke of a cover as it is! Was it really such an absolutely bright idea to bastardise such a classic “The Who” song from one of my favourite albums of all time? At least Faith No More knew what they were doing when they recorded their cover of Lionel Richie and The Commodores’ “Easy” on the rerelease of “Angel Dust.” Surely a verse was absent in that cover, but at least it was slightly faithful to the original version. (Still makes me sick that Limp Bizkit opened up for FNM during their American leg of the “Album of the Year” tour in September and October of 1997.) Did you know that song also got an awful music video to promote the 2003 movie Gothika (which this song appeared in) where Fred Durst tongue wrestles Halle Berry in a Psychiatric Ward?

The fact that this was the second single from this neanderthalic mess of an album, charting in at number 4 on the Aria Charts in 2003/04 not to mention being overplayed on mainstream radio stations such as Triple M to prove that Limp Bizkit had a soft side makes me undesirably sad to this very day...

Truely such a horrible cover song in rock, and don’t get me started on that cover of George Michael’s “Faith” that is the same level of absurdity of this song.

The song features another bonus track titled “All That Easy” featuring another monotonous delivery of lyrics with a simple beat from DJ Lethal...it just sounds like a song from a dollar shop Massive Attack...

DROWN

The final track on this album is yet another sad, mellow, monotonous melody from Fred complete with the repetitive chords from his guitar (one of the few songs to feature Fred playing guitar prior to Mike Smith joining the band). There’s nothing to describe about the half asleep sounding lyrics but it’s just absolutely sluggish at best and just another garbage time track to end this massive garbage fire of an album.

FINAL VERDICT ON WHY THIS TAKES THE TITLE OF THE ALBUM OF SUCKAGE

“Results May Vary” is nothing but an album filled with monotonous, lyrically repetitive songs, mostly directed to Britney Spears for being left out of writing for “In the Zone” as well as stated by on and off again guitarist Wes Borland as “Fred Durst’s solo project.” A massive chunk of songs were cut from this album such as “Crack Addict” which was performed live at WWE Wrestlemania 19 in Seattle earlier that year in 2003, “Just Drop Dead,” another bloody song directed to Britney Spears which appeared as a B-Side of “Behind Blue Eyes, “Why”, Lean on Me,” and their double cover of “Home Sweet Home and Bittersweet Symphony” originally performed by Motley Crüe and The Verve respectively, the latter three songs being put on the “Greatest Hitz” compilation two years later. Other songs that were cut from RMV, were titled “Press Your Luck,” “Poison Ivy,” “Cowgirls from Hell,” “Shot,” “Armpit,” “When it Rains,” “Let it Go,” the subtlety titled “Masterbation,” “Lean On Me” and others. However these songs wouldn’t have saved this album from being such a colossal disaster and a huge reliance of being a schadenfreude to various haters of the Nu Metal genre like me!

“Results May Vary” is Limp Bizkit’s equivalent to Metallica’s St Anger which was released the same year three months earlier. St Anger got a massive tonne of negativity when it was originally released but later got a huge amount of love and respect over the years. RMV will never have that type of respect as it simply nuked the careers of Limp Bizkit following its release. Limp Bizkit later released its EP titled “The Unquestionable Truth” with Wes Borland returning two years later and it’s comeback album “Gold Cobra,” with “The Stampede of the Disco Elephants” forever burning in Development Hell but the unsalvageable damage had already been done by then, and that’s why I give it the mantle as

THE ALBUM OF SUCKAGE!

Happy Trails...

[rwbyconversations]

RWBY Volume 6 Vocal Songs review

Well, we finally have it people- the Volume 6 soundtrack is out. And hopefully this time Spotify mains won’t feel left in the corner like the Ladybug fandom does during the inter-RWBY shipping discussions.

I’ll say overall I adored the songs this year and there weren’t any duds- in fact this is probably my new overall favorite lyric soundtrack since Volume 4, which was just overflowing with bangers. This year was similarly jam-packed, with every new song being the usual outstanding fare that RWBY has become known for.

... and then there’s the remixes which continue to be absolutely awful and will never go onto my playlists but this is the token mention of the remixes. Why do they keep doing them, the only good one’s been Sacrifice.

But regardless, this is my review of all the vocal songs in Volume 6. Enjoy! (forward warning I’m not a music critic so don’t expect anything too deep here)

All GIFs were made by @edelblume​, someone actually proficient in talking musical theory.

1) Rising

Rising was already one of my favorite openings to date for RWBY, if for no other reason than the superb opening animation itself. But fortunately, the song itself more than met my expectations. Featuring an incredibly strong riff from Jeff from Alex along with a surprising synth appearance in places, Rising kicks off the soundtrack with gusto, a defiant acknowledgement that their road is faced with a permeating darkness, but it won’t last, and much as nature simply knows how to be, they were born with the knowledge to do the right thing and stand against evil. For they are paragons, and death can’t hold them down for long. After years of ranking Time To Say Goodbye as my favorite opening of the show, Rising supplants it and takes its new spot on the throne.

2) Miracle

Miracle was a surprise- for the first time since Volume 3 and It’s My Turn, we got a new song in the premiere alongside the opening itself, capping off RWBY, Oscar and Qrow’s desperate struggle to buy the Argus Limited time to escape with its civilian cargo. It’s a much bleaker song than Rising, coming right as the heroes are about to have their senses of morality tested by the truths that Ozpin had been hiding from them for years. Miracle laments how they’re running out of time and that their own triumphs don’t matter- a reckoning is near and they have to answer the question of whether or not the path they’ve been walking was the right one, or just one made of lies. As the heroes scramble for a miracle, they’re dismayed to find that none’s in sight, but as they realize they’re fighting on the sight of light and all that’s good in the world, they’re determined to stand and fight until their miracle arrives.

Miracle can be seen as a proper theme song for the first half of Volume 6, as it more deeply examines the themes of the volume, especially the team’s inner conflict. The final verse especially can be seen as almost an abridging of the Brunswick arc, as the team reach their lowest points and despair at how nothing they do is worth anything before they take a breather and decide that even if the end time are coming, they’ll face it head on and give it a bloody nose before it consumes everything, still hoping for that miracle to arrive- just like a young silver eyed girl arrived in Brunswick to cleanse its tainted halls of apathy. 

Miracle was a surprising song back in October last year, and now that it’s out in full it’s honestly my favorite song lyrically on the track. It’s a perfect assessment of the situation the heroes wind up in this volume, capping off with their blunt refusal to let the end take them quietly. 

3) Lionized

I know they spell it Lionize but I don’t care, they say Lionized in the song for Christ’s sake! 

I’ve been waiting for this song for nearly an entire year since RTX and the short that won me back onto RWBY, and fortunately Lionized didn’t disappoint. Adam finally got his solo song to bow out his character after sharing From Shadows with Blake, and much like his character short, it offers a compelling, if truncated, account of his rise and fall into darkness. 

While Amity Arena’s bio had already revealed Adam’s early life to be horrific- born into slavery in an SDC dust mine, dreaming of looking up at the sky with his own two eyes one day- Lionized also makes no point of hiding the details, having the lyrics open with Adam reflecting on how he was “Insulted and reviled, Enthralled by human overlords since I was a child” (which gives off serious vibes of Adam being a sex abuse victim as a child to me and Jesus Christ). That punishment broke Adam and drove him mad in his desire to make humanity pay for what it had done to him and the hundreds of thousands of Faunus in those mines. 

Jeff kills it in this song- it’s easily my new favorite solo from him as we get a deep dive into what drove Adam past the brink of madness, as his revenge dovetails into building him up and making him more of a figurehead than an actual hero- “Watch them fall as I am glorified,” “You’ll see, I’m their hero/I’m here, I’m your savior, I’ll be lionized!” And the guitars are something else, a constantly churning ripping and shredding beat that combines with Jeff’s voice sounds like a feral animal about to attack. And if there’s one way to get me hype for a villain in anime, grab some guitars and start shredding. 

While Miracle might be my favorite song of the OST on a lyrical level, Lionized just knows how to get me hyped and this’ll probably be the one that gets the most replays on my playlist. It captures the old spirit of RWBY’s original music and delivers with a rip-roaring track that matches its narrators madness with shredding gusto.

4) Big Metal Shoe

I had no expectations for Big Metal Shoe. In fact I figured this would be the weak link of the soundtrack. Surely what seemed to just be a diss track at a villain I wasn’t especially fond of wouldn’t make for a good song, right?

And then we got Caffeine 2.0 and... it was actually kinda good. Again, I’m a simple man- throw some guitars at me and I’ll smile and nod like a kid watching fireworks. This sound wound up being a fun little darkhorse for the soundtrack, alongside a seeming self-imposed challenge by Williams and Abraham to make as many fairytale references in two and 3/4 minutes as physically possible. 

There is one downside though- this song’s actually incomprehensible. I don’t understand half of it. Jeff and Casey have this problem a lot of the time where it’s hard to understand them but this is just peak “Are you even speaking English anymore?” And then Lamar shows up for the Token Lamar Rap Verse that every RWBY OST includes and then it gets even worse.

While I wasn’t expecting much from Big Metal Shoe, it still made for a fun few minutes. Now I can’t wait for Flynt’s lyric video so I understand most of the song! 

5) Forever Fall

RWBY’s track record with ballads can be generously described as “hit or miss.” For every Cold or Home, we have Wings or All That Matters. Forever Fall has a crucial advantage over those weaker examples in that I actually like most of the characters featured in the song. Being about Pyrrha encouraging Jaune from beyond the veil while Jaune struggles to press on, much as she did in the Boundless Jaune Amity Arena bio, it’s a somber tune, and easily one of the better attempts Jeff and Casey have made at a slower, more quiet song. I’m not the biggest fan of how RWBY has handled Pyrrha’s death since Volume 3, sometimes it feels a little like they keep JNR around just to more easily have access to angst fuel for it, but Forever Fall definitely helped set the bitter stage for the statue scene, which does still stand as one of the better scenes of Volume 6 (even if it does lose some of its weight once you realize Pyrrha probably wouldn’t have actually liked the statue due to her hatred of being put on a pedestal). Casey knocks it out of the park with her voice and the piano plays a beat on many a fan’s heart. 

I’m especially fond of the theory that this isn’t so much a Pyrrha singing to Jaune song as it’s a song that can symbolise both of them at the same time. Credit to the crew for that.

6) One Thing

Neo’s far from my favorite character in RWBY, and I’ve made no secret of how I think she’s dreadfully overhyped outside of being a good luck charm for well animated fights. Luckily for her and fans then, her charm status made it into Maya unscathed, and Neo was protected by the universal rule of soundtracks.

The villain songs are always really fucking good.

Casey finally lives out her dream of voicing Neo in One Thing, a bitter revenge fantasy where Neo makes no reservations about how much she’ll love putting down anyone and everyone responsible for Roman’s death. She talks (heh) of how she had nothing before Roman came- not a voice, not a home, maybe not even a name if I’m hearing that one line right. “Then a brand new flame brought a brand new name.” 

Add in a badass as all hell chorus and Neo jumped up a few places in my personal RWBY polls thanks to the presentation of her musical debut alone, to say nothing of her fantasies about killing Cinder (can relate). One Thing shows just how effective a great song can be, setting the scene for a fantastic fight scene, a solid return for a fandom-beloved character and then even making someone who considered her the Boba Fett of RWBY start to like her. I’m eager to learn more of Neo’s past before she met Roman, whenever that day comes.

(btw is it bad if I kinda ship Neo and Roman now?)

7) Nevermore

I don’t have a lot to add that hasn’t been said since the finale aired- it’s a pretty great song and a fantastic closer for the volume, I hope Atlas means we finally stop getting Blake or Yang-focused credit songs because this was the third in a row and it’s getting tiring, the disconnect between the writers and actors calling Adam “the worst” while the songs and bios paint a far more complex picture is a bit of an odd disconnect that I hope doesn’t repeat if they ever remember that Cinder’s an abuser too. 

8) Armed and Ready Acoustic

Nice song, shame it’s gonna get ruined by all the fucking Beehaw/Yorse jokes. You weren’t funny in February, you’re not funny now. You’re not even worth a comment about beating a dead horse. Not sure I like the acoustic going full country but whatever. Wake me up when I’m The One gets the acoustic treatment.

9) Indomitable

Indomitable was the song I was probably the most hyped for in the V6 OST alongside or even surpassing Lionized. Ruby’s Silver Eyes scene was a strong contender for the best scene of the season and single-handedly made up for what otherwise could have been a Breach-level anticlimax of a finale, and part of what made it work was Indomitable, the short but powerful song that played as Ruby gave Bubbles The Leviathan both ocular barrels. Ruby finally getting a song after five straight albums was ambrosia to my soul, after years of having to make due with “Maybe Ruby’s song is meant to be the OP?” as Weiss, Blake and Yang got song after song after song, oftentimes getting multiple songs in a single year (Hi Yang. Stop hogging the jukebox. Please.). Finally, I thought, she’d get a track, and one that appeared to be about her accepting her role as the light standing against the darkness, all capped off with a beautiful quiet tribute to Monty in the form of his old blog quotes about the human spirit.

So I must admit, when I listened to Indomitable proper, I was... disappointed on the first listen. It’s still a lovely song, but it wasn’t what I hoped and wanted it to be and it took a little while to appreciate it in spite of that.

Indomitable is a tribute song to Monty, a la Cold from Volume 3. But while Cold had a double meaning that made it work in and out of universe (being a song from CRWBY mourning Monty that could also reflect on Jaune mourning Pyrrha), Indomitable is far less connected to RWBY in-universe unless Ruby had a dream offscreen where she met a tired looking guy who made worlds based off his ketchup stains then woke up and made a Christian Rock song out of it. 

Rather sadly for me at least, this also hurts the original Indomitable scene in question as well. It doesn’t truly fit the original scene now, as much as it did when we thought the song was about Ruby recognizing her spirit. It was a great way to cap off a volume that was overall great for Ruby. As she finally got to take center stage as protagonist in her own show, we finally got a new song about her standing unyielding against the darkness. What was a great character moment for Ruby has now rather sadly been hurt by the song. Not terribly, I still love the climax of Volume 6. But now the song just feels a touch out of place.

I know some people have already been rather critical of anyone who didn’t like the song because it wasn’t what they wanted (I’ve seen a fair few people express disappointment that the song wasn’t the Ruby-focused song the chorus and placement in the show led us to believe) and that tired old “subverting expectations” argument came up. To which I must reply that “What did you expect me to take from a song showing up during Ruby’s most powerful moment, that the song was actually about Port?” While what we got was still a powerful song that makes for an interesting trilogy of songs of RWBY dealing with Monty’s death in Cold, Let’s Just Live and Indomitable, I think Ruby’s fanbase especially are very fairly allowed to be disappointed that they were stripped of the chance to finally get her first focus song in half a decade. Instead we get another Ruby song where she’s not even the real focus (much like Blake’s trailers get hijacked by her supporting cast, Ruby’s songs get hijacked by anyone within a mile of the recording booth),  

I still liked Indomitable, and it does become a stellar song after the first chorus.. It still has Ruby’s overall attitude and the lyrics do still allow one to reflect on Ruby and her growth over Volumes 1-3 and 6. It’s a lovely, touching and very emotional tribute to Monty and a rousing anthem to celebrate his legacy (wait does this mean Indomitable breaks the Monty Rule? ;) ) and had it been a simple bonus track that we only learned about when the OST dropped a la BMBLB or Dream Come True it would have been a lot better in my opinion. We still got a lovely song and in the heat of the moment, it worked really well for Ruby. But at this point, I really just want a new inarguable Ruby song above all else, and this probably should have been kept as a bonus song instead of being used in-show. Still good, but I’m just a bitter bitch and wanted something else

Conclusion and ranking

Volume 6′s vocal tracks were a near-perfect selection this year. After Volume 5′s tracklist was more comparatively disappointing (Smile and This Time are the only ones I’d really go back to at this point), the V6 tracklist was far more impressive and a near constant streak of home runs. While Indomitable wasn’t what I hoped and wanted it to be, it was still a touching tribute to Monty and proof that his soul lives on in RWBY. If Jeff, Alex and Casey are as on fire next year as they were this year, the wait for the Volume 7 OST will be even more painful. Round of applause for the music team this year, they did a stellar job and I wish them all the best for Volume 7. 

1) Miracle 2) Lionized 3 One Thing 4) Rising 5) Forever Fall 6) Nevermore 7) Indomitable 8) Acoustic Armed and Ready  9) Big Metal Shoe 10) The music that played during Merc and Em’s scene in Lost.  10) The godawful Triumph and Path to Isolation remixes. Please. Leave the songs alone, I hate Volume 5 but even it didn’t deserve that torture. 

Thank you for reading. 

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 3rd November 2019

I apologise for how late this will probably end up being posted, but we have a big week to talk about, with EIGHT new arrivals, two from Selena Gomez, three from Kanye West and two appearing here in the top 10 so I’m just going to get through everything as soon as possible to the best of my ability, although this week has several...mishaps on the BBC page to say the least, so I’ll try to correct them if I can, and I have had to wait for my week of non-stop Weezer listening to end or for me to accidentally slip up and listen to something else so I could actually write about the new arrivals here.

Top 10

Interestingly, none of the nonsense that this chart week ensued seems to appear in the top 2 or shake the #1 at all, as “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I is at its fifth consecutive week at the top of the UK Singles Chart.

“Ride It” by Regard featuring Jay Sean – well, it’s actually a remix of a Jay Sean single but just let me relish in the fact Jay Sean is on the charts again – isn’t moving either at number-two, the runner-up spot.

The first impact that we can see at the top level of the charts is the debut at #3 for Selena Gomez’s first US #1 “Lose You to Love Me”, which the BBC has interestingly misspelled as “Loose You to Love Me”, her 13th UK Top 40 hit, fourth top 10 and highest-peaking song ever, after “It Ain’t Me” with Kygo peaked at #7. We’ll talk more about Selena Gomez’s two new arrivals later.

Thanks to Gomez, Post Malone’s “Circles” is down one spot to number-four.

At number-five is Ed Sheeran with “South of the Border” featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B, down three spots this week to number-five.

We have our second new arrival within the top 10, at number-six, “Follow God” by Kanye West from his ninth studio album, JESUS IS KING. He has several songs debuting here in the UK Top 40 this week, so we’ll talk more in-depth about his mini-album bomb later on, but this is his 44th UK Top 40 hit, which is crazy impressive, and his 20th top 10.

At number-seven, boosted up 11 spots by an Ariana Grande remix, is Lizzo with “Good as Hell”, making it officially her biggest song in the UK and her first top 10 hit, as well as Grande’s 16th.

Up two spaces to number-eight this week is “Memories” by Maroon 5.

Down two spaces from last week, we have Dermot Kennedy at number-nine with “Outnumbered”.

Finally, at #10, to round off the top 10, we have Lewis Capaldi’s “Bruises” down four spaces from last week.

Climbers

Naturally, there aren’t many climbers here because of the album bomb and influx of new arrivals, but we do have some unfortunate boosts for “hot girl bummer” by blackbear up five spaces to #25... and that’s all.

Fallers

Fallers on the other hand... we could split this up into genre, actually.

For pop, rock and EDM, we can start with “Lights Up” by Harry Styles deservedly flopping six spaces down to #17, then continue with “10,000 Hours” by Dan + Shay and Justin Bieber down 12 to #29, “Higher Love” by Kygo and Whitney Houston down eight to #31, “Sorry” by Joel Corry featuring uncredited vocals from Hayley May down 10 to #32 and finally “Don’t Call Me Angel” by Ariana Grande featuring Miley Cyrus and Lana Del Rey down 13 to #39 – but that’s not all.

For hip hop and R&B, we have “HIGHEST IN THE ROOM” by Travis Scott down seven to #12, “Be Honest” by Jorja Smith and Burna Boy down five to #14, “Professor X” by Dave down seven to #21, “Take Me Back to London” by Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy and remixed by Sir Spyro featuring Aitch and Jaykae down nine to #28, “Playing Games” by Summer Walker down nine to #33, “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey down 10 to #35 and finally, “Taste (Make it Shake)” by Aitch down nine to #39... but again, that’s not all.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

We have no returning entries but we sure do have a lot of dropouts, some of them genuine hits such as “Strike a Pose” by Young T & Bugsey and Aitch out from #36 and “Beautiful People” by Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid out from #39, hits that never really hit the landing with the British general public but have been on the middling section of the charts for a while and could easily rebound like “Motivation” by Normani out from #27, “Truth Hurts” by Lizzo and remixed by DaBaby from #31, “frick, i’m lonely” by LAUV and Anne-Marie out from #32 and “Lalala” by Y2K and bbno$ and remixed by Carly Rae Jepsen and Enrique Iglesias out from #37, as well as some genuinely premature drop-outs such as “Graveyard” by Halsey out from #29 and finally, “47” by Sidhu Moose Wala, MIST, Steel Banglez and Stefflon Don out from #38. Now, finally, after all that time spent on stray UK Top 40 observations... let’s talk about Kanye.

ALBUM BOMB: Kanye West – JESUS IS KING

On October 25th, Kanye released his ninth studio album, JESUS IS KING, after missing several release dates and changing name from YANDHI. Kanye, a now born-again Christian, makes a “gospel” album free of any explicit lyrics, accompanied by a short film of the same name. It features an all-star guest list of vocalists and producers, including frequent collaborators Ant Clemons, Benny Blanco and Mike Dean, the reunion of legendary rap group Clipse, trap beat-makers Pi’erre Bourne and Ronny J, and smooth jazz saxophonist Kenny G. Obviously, it went #1 in the US, #2 here, but to mixed reviews – now, I won’t be focusing on the politics that surround the album and I am not very knowledgeable of religion so I cannot really comment on much beyond my understanding of Christianity and arguably more importantly, the lore of Kanye West. Mark Grondin of Spectrum Pulse already quoted more Bible quotes in his album review than I could remember digits of pi, and several people, like DeadEndHipHop, Sean Cee and even Anthony Fantano, whether you like them or not, have made several in-depth discussion videos about whether West’s sudden revelation is a genuine moment for the rapper, a mental breakdown or a cash-grab. I’m here to discuss the music... but even that’s not very good. I wrote a very lengthy review for the album two days after it came out (And before it went through an additional few fixes for mixing quirks, sigh) which will be linked here if I remember, and overall, it was disappointing, a light 4/10 and easily the worst record in West’s discography. Regardless, let’s talk about the debuts here.

#20 – “Closed on Sunday” – Kanye West

Produced by Kanye West, Angel Lopez, Brian “AllDay” Miller, Federico Vindver and Timbaland – Peaked at #17 in the US

Features uncredited vocals from the Sunday Service choir and A$AP Bari(?)

The most memeable yet also one of the most detestable tracks on the album, this is his 45th UK Top 40 hit. “Closed on Sunday” was one of the few tracks set to fail off the pure concept, as the biggest issue with most songs on JESUS IS KING is the lack of development or complete mishandling of great ideas, to the point where there basically is no effort to, you know, write a song here. “Closed on Sunday” is essentially one verse split into half due to a flow switch at the midpoint, and despite a runtime of only two minutes and 32 seconds, it drones on endlessly, with a solemn guitar melody leading into what could sound like a pretty cool, dark ballad, built up by the choir vocalising in harmonies that sound actually pretty great but then the 808s come in and ruin any sense of harmony. Kanye comes in with some of the worst mixing I’ve ever heard vocals have, especially on an album with the budget Kanye has, with a lot of background noise and I can even hear the buttons pressed on the phone or other device Kanye is using to record at about 0:38, which signals a drastic change in how the vocals are mixed, but it’s still shoddy and allows them to have some pretty severe clipping during the “chorus”, until a sudden shift where a turgid beeping sound works as a pathetic excuse for you know, an actual synth, and until now, Kanye’s vocals have not had reverb or Auto-Tune added onto them, so his vocals being drenched in effects actually sounds great here... but he still has a sore throat and sounds like he’s struggling here, although unlike “God Is” and just about the entirety of 808s & Heartbreak, where it adds to the emotive performance, Kanye sounds bored and with no choir backing him like they could have been, the release here just isn’t as cinematic as it could be and it just sounds like a melodramatic Kanye aimlessly spouting random Bible motifs over 808s without taking his daily Dequadin lozenge... and there are no drums... ever. Oh, and A$AP Bari comes in at the end to shout “Chick-fil-A”, abruptly interrupting the beat’s natural progression and making it clear as day that the album is unfinished. Also, speaking of those lyrics, should you really be comparing YOURSELF to a fast food restaurant that donates charity to anti-LGBT hate and pressure groups? That’s not very Christ-like, Ye. It probably wouldn’t matter if they didn’t either, because a thinly-veiled Taylor Swift reference (Yes, I know the Bible mentions “snakes” and “vipers” as much as reputation does, but the two aren’t on good terms so it’s no coincidence in my opinion) and calling God your “number-one with the lemonade” don’t exactly make you sound like a wordsmith. Oh, and A$AP Bari, the uncredited vocalist on the outro, pleaded guilty to sexual assault earlier this year, which again doesn’t exactly sound like a Christ-like thing to be supporting either... but I digress. The version he performed on Jimmy Kimmel with a genuine choir backing him and a brass band is miles ahead of this, so don’t bother with this version, or better yet, don’t bother with this monotonous crap at all.

#19 – “Selah” – Kanye West

Produced by Kanye West, E*vax, BoogzDaBeast, Federico Vindver, benny blanco and Francis Starlite – Peaked at #19 in the US

Features uncredited vocals from the Sunday Service choir, Ant Clemons and Bongo ByTheWay

Now, I’m slightly more positive on his 46th UK Top 40 hit, “Selah”, the opening track (Aside from the short “Every Hour” interlude / intro track which is only Sunday Service) of JESUS IS KING, yet that might actually make it more frustrating and it’s easily the track I come back the least to because overall, it’s actually pretty uninteresting and doesn’t have a true “hook”. It starts with some cloudy synth noodling that sounds kind of cool with the subtle strings but then Kanye comes in with some pretty awfully-mixed vocals that is incredibly unprofessional, teasing his fans for wanting YANDHI, and saying it was coming before “Jesus Christ did the laundry”, and quoting John 8:33 to excuse his “Slavery is a choice” comment, which he’s been trying to respond to the backlash to for about a year and a half now, failing each time. Also:

Pour the lean out slower

Hold up –that ain’t Christ-like. The explosions of marching band drums come in in a similar fashion to “Feel the Love” off of KIDS SEE GHOSTS, and then honestly the bridge, which is insanely repetitive but builds up tension perfectly with Ant Clemons and the Sunday Service choir repeating “Hallelujah” incessantly with distant guitar strings, handclaps and sudden pitch shifts reflecting the change in Kanye’s mindset and the intensity soon becomes a lot more ramped up from now on, finishing the bridge with a pretty beautiful vocal line that the 808s hilariously harmonise with. Then, Kanye comes back in with a verse co-written by Pusha T, and you can REALLY tell, and it’s still awfully-mixed, when there’s no true excuse. He’s drowned out by the bursts of drums and bass as well as the choir’s recurring vocal sample. The best part of the song soon kind of fizzles out in a chaotic outro, in which fireworks literally go off while Kanye screams nonsense as well as “Yeezus” which isn’t exactly Christ-like, but it sounds insane and honestly a tad odd and unfitting for the album, which is supposed to be an uptempo Christian rap album? While there are parts of this song I don’t approve of, especially Kanye, who ruins pretty much every song he’s on... on his own album, this is pretty tolerable, albeit somewhat contradictory lyrically and far from my favourite Kanye track. At least there’s some grandiosity and emotion here.

#6 – “Follow God” – Kanye West

Produced by Kanye West, BoogszDaBeast and Xcelence – Peaked at #7 in the US

I should be thankful for the grandiosity and emotion behind “Selah”, because this sure doesn’t have any of that. How the HELL does this have three producers? How on Earth does this album have 11 people on the mixing and mastering and yet this still sound like absolute gutter trash in my headphones? “Follow God” is easily the least interesting song on the JESUS IS KING album, and that’s pretty impressive for a record that contains the song “Water” with Ant Clemons, yet it’s the biggest and I don’t see why at all. There straight-up isn’t a chorus by any meaning of the word, or its many synonyms, and its dated production almost resembling 90s hip hop in the soul sample from 1974’s “Can You Lose by Following God” by Whole Truth and the genuine 90s groove and funk that is somewhere here in the beat, doesn’t exactly make it sound like a catchy trap banger that would reach the US top 10 in 2019, but it’s there. It’s called by many fans a spiritual successor to 2016’s “Father Stretch My Hands” from The Life of Pablo but other than using the lyric “Father, I stretch my hands”, I don’t see it, mostly because the 2016 effort doesn’t actually have much relation to Christianity outside of the beautiful gospel choir harmonising with Caroline Shaw on the bridge of that single. In fact, that song does a better job at flipping Christian rap on its head – it’s a two-part trap banger featuring verses from Desiigner and lines about... bleached posteriors. This song on the other hand is only one minute and 44 seconds, with one badly-mixed and distorted verse from Kanye that is as repetitive as the mind-numbing recurring “Yeah” vocal sample and prone to making me roll my eyes with its one verse and the... outro of sorts. But since this beat is so minimalistic, surely he wants us to hear what he’s saying, right? Well, no, probably not, because not only is his “wordplay”(?) and half-rhymes embarrassing, but I have so many questions to raise to this drum pattern. I want to interview the 808 and the kick drum and ask what the heck they think they’re doing.

People really know you, push your buttons like type-write

That’s not a sentence. “Like type-write”? Excuse my brief, unsubtle blasphemy, but Jesus.

Every single night, right? Every single fight, right?

The ‘i’-based rhyme scheme here is cool in concept and he finds his way around it pretty well, in a fast-paced rap flow that I actually really like, but it reeks of laziness, especially since not only does he completely abandon the rhyme scheme 55 seconds in but – yes, I counted – his verse is 69 seconds, that’s one minute and nine seconds. To put into perspective, Rick Ross’ verse on “Devil in a New Dress” off of Kanye’s 2010 album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is one minute and 28 seconds, only twenty seconds longer than this one, and it includes ten times as much clever wordplay, story-telling, interesting flow switches and bars that are really epic, making the song feel really celebratory of sorts actually – and that’s without the epic guitar solo that precedes it. What a fantastic song. On the other hand, this song is substance-less and Kanye says very little of anything despite how much he crams into every bar in the rapid yet sometimes pretty awkward flow. What he’s supposed to be discussing is his situation with his father and how when he was yelling at him and having a massive argument and fall-out, Ray West told him, it wasn’t Christ-like, leading to a revelation and possibly becoming the catalyst for the already-kickstarted Christian rebirth. Surely, his dad and God are the two most important men in his life, right? Then why does this feel passionless and boring? Why doesn’t this feel genuine? Fellow Christian rapper NF, a white rapper who makes bland piano-lead pop-rap with sung hooks, would call this flavourless, dull and more importantly, grey. It doesn’t feel blue and gold like he wants it to as he uses the colours to imply royalty, luxury and loyalty to God on the album cover and lyric video. This doesn’t show loyalty. You made this in five minutes, Kanye. You made this on a whim because you had an idea and you ran with it but you had no idea on how to actually develop it into something interesting or even listenable. What part of this shows royalty, luxury and a rich, graceful connection with God? This sounds cheap and gross, and frankly incredibly disappointing from such a talented artist. I haven’t even gotten onto the rest of the song, man, and I don’t even want to. “Decimal” doesn’t rhyme with “wrestle”, Kanye. “Wrestlin’ with God, I don’t even want to wrestle”? That’s the deepest you want to go into your confusion and conflict between Christianity and fame? That’s pathetic, as is the random screaming at the end of this track for quirky or emotive bonus points. There’s nothing lifelike or Christ-like about your lifestyle, Kanye West. Get some help.

NEW ARRIVALS

#34 – “Nice to Meet Ya” – Niall Horan

Produced by Julian Bunetta – Peaked at #9 in Ireland and #83 in the US

Sorry to any of the Niall Horan fans who crashed his website when this single was announced, but I have considerably less to say about the rest of these new arrivals than I do about Kanye West and/or Jesus Christ. I have to talk about them regardless of if I have anything I can actually add, and this one is one I’ve actually already heard since I watched the MTV EMAs and he performed it. I thought nothing of it initially, but this is the Irishman from One Direction’s comeback single after his debut studio album Flicker. This is Horan’s third UK Top 40 hit and first since 2017’s “Too Much to Ask” which peaked at #24, and I did not expect this shift to late 90s and early 2000s dance-rock, but I am definitely not complaining. It starts with a catchy piano line that’s pretty Robbie Williams-esque, then the drop comes in and it is killer. The sleek synths decorating the rock drums in a lot of slickness that you wouldn’t expect out of such a meek stage presence add to the chorus pretty well, but the best part of that chorus is the distant pitch-shifted vocal sample yelling in the background, making it feel even more industrial which again is out of character for Niall, the quiet, shy folk boy, but he definitely has the charisma to pull off this type of swaggering, stomping pop rock anthem, and he proves that in the sing-along bridge, where even his murmuring hums stand out, and while he’s drowned out by the cool bassline and drum pattern most of the time, his vocal delivery really is the highlight of the song, even if that is equally vintage and in a way, pretty nostalgic for the era it replicates. Funnily enough, it has the same lack of care for organised structure that “Lights Up” by Harry Styles had just two weeks ago, but the careless, reckless groove of this song works a lot more in Horan’s favour than Styles’. Just saying.

#27 – “Orphans” – Coldplay

Produced by Rik Simpson, Dan Green, Bill Rahko, Max Martin, Angel Lopez and Federico Vindver – Peaked at #14 in Scotland

Coldplay, with their most recent upcoming album Everyday Life, are getting pretty experimental. It’s an hour-long double-album kept a secret until a month before it is set to release featuring a track list full of songs that have odd stylisations like “BrokEn” and share song names with Arabic poems. “Arabesque”, the B-side to “Orphans”, is a storm of nu-jazz trumpets with a Fela Kuti-inspired breakdown and uncredited guest vocals from Stromae, as well as profanity, which is a first for the band. I’m not surprised at all that one didn’t kick off but we are instead left with their 24th UK Top 40 hit and first since “Something Just Like This” with the Chainsmokers peaked at #2 in 2017, “Orphans”, which is a lot tamer of a track to say the least. That doesn’t mean it’s any worse though. It starts with a kids’ choir singing before we get into a tropical rock jam with a funky bassline that I wouldn’t be surprised if Flea wrote, it’s that tight. Chris Martin sounds as focused on Christianity as he did on the Avicii album earlier this year, directly name-dropping Heaven in the first verse, and then joining in with the nonsense words that the vocal samples had been repeating prior to the verse. The chorus is pretty reminiscent of arena rock, specifically “Paradise” I feel as it has that same nasal falsetto but in a lot more palatable fashion, mostly because this actually has groove and you know, a pulse. Yeah, this is pretty great, and I love the bridge of purely the mythical guitar and Chris Martin’s ethereal vocals. Something I didn’t notice on initial listen is how that the song is about a girl, Rosaleem, during the Damascus bombing in Syria from last year (That’s what the nonsense words and sound effects are all about), who is greeted by angels who talk to her about what Heaven will be like, which is “almond and peach trees in bloom” but also a place for her dad to get drunk and talk with his friends so he can feel young again. That’s actually pretty deep subject matter, and together with Niall Horan, I’m glad we can have some fantastic rock on the charts again. “Arabesque” is the better of the two Coldplay songs though.

#26 – “Look at Her Now” – Selena Gomez

Produced by Ian Kirkpatrick – Peaked at #7 in Slovakia and #27 in the US

Man, those last two songs were so powerful and organic, I almost want some disposable garbage to review next. It’ll just be easier. Oh, we have two Selena Gomez songs and a new AJ Tracey single to cover? Perfect, that’s just what I asked for! Yeah, this is Selena Gomez’s 14th UK Top 40 hit and it is awful, but not even close to as offensively bad “Closed on Sunday” or “Follow God” are. It’s just a mistake on all fronts. The passionless vocal samples drowned out in the background that peters out by the verse and the nothingness of the synths and a glitchy beat that abruptly kicks itself out of the mix every other second, as well as Selena Gomez’s weak, whispery vocals don’t exactly scream “passionate, boasting kiss-off” to me. The chorus is absolutely PATHETIC, if it even exists at all – I mean, it’s just a bunch of different sound effects Selena Gomez made pretty much, with her rhythmically humming as if that’s an excuse for an actual chorus with some unintelligible, stuttering and sometimes whispered repetitions of the song title as well as several “W-w-w-w-wow”s that add very little to the song and seem pretty pointless. This is mixed well for the most part, despite the synths clipping at times and Selena’s vocoder-ed ad-libs in the second chorus being way louder than anything else in the mix, but I have no idea what the composers of this song were thinking. What a trainwreck. It almost sounds like glitch-pop to be honest, it’s chaos, and if it were marketed as that maybe I’d appreciate it more, but if this is supposed to be a genuine brag to Justin Bieber asking him to see what he’s missing, he might as well have dated a robot. I think a RateYourMusic user summed it up best: “This is so monumentally mediocre that it barely even exists.”

#22 – “Floss” – AJ Tracey featuring MoStack and Not3s

Produced by The Elements and AJ Tracey

AJ Tracey is a British rapper who had his break out this year and he released his self-titled debut studio album back in February, but it now has a deluxe edition, with five extra songs, this being one of them. I wasn’t exactly impressed with the album as it’s mostly pretty bland Americanised trap fluff with only some promising elements of dancehall (“Butterflies” with Not3s and remixed by Popcaan), grime (“Horror Flick”) and UK garage (“Ladbroke Grove”, one of my favourite songs of the year) propping up whenever AJ sees fit, but it’s 48 minutes so these moments can’t carry the whole track listing. Lucky for us, he’s increased that runtime to just over an hour and included a couple more boring trap songs to listen to. Joy. This is AJ’s seventh UK Top 40 hit, MoStack’s eighth and Not3’s sixth. This song relies on a pretty sweet falsetto vocal sample under a surprisingly energetic trap beat, with some pretty nice steel pans and cowbells in addition to the skittering hi-hats and 808s. AJ Tracey is pretty okay here, but I feel with these lyrics and beat he could have gone for a faster and more impressive flow than what he brings out here. I’m still in love with his “bling-blaow” ad-lib though. MoStack is embarrassing as always, with an oddly-mixed verse and sometimes off-beat flow, with the most obvious difference between him and AJ being that there aren’t any ad-libs or multi-tracked vocals, which is mostly the same with Not3s’ non-existent and actually pretty unnecessary bridge (He should have just added to the final chorus, though his last few bars sound nice). Mo does have a pretty funny line about how you wouldn’t be able to notice him on CCTV and would confuse him with Dave though. This is better than I expected, but still nothing of interest to me. Sorry.

#3 – “Lose You to Love Me” – Selena Gomez

Produced by Mattman & Robin and FINNEAS – Peaked at #1 in the US

Now, much like Coldplay, Selena Gomez also released two lead singles, however both charted and they are drastically different to Coldplay’s, quality-wise at least. This is supposed to be the big massive smash ballad hit that hit #1 in the US, becoming her first ever song to reach that peak, but I can’t bring myself to care, because honestly, this is one of her least interesting singles she’s ever released. Out of all of her songs, including some I actually like such as “It Ain’t Me” and “Same Old Love”, this seems like one of the most unlikely #1s yet it tugs at our heartstrings with the pianos from FINNEAS, Billie Eilish’s brother and producer, and it’s about how Justin Bieber dumped her with wordplay revolving around “purpose” – wow, it’s almost like she’s talking about Justin Bieber’s ALBUM, Purpose! Ugh, her mind! Okay, I’ll stop mocking her fanbase and the general public, because this really isn’t a bad song. Selena Gomez can’t sing, so through thinly-veiled Auto-Tune, the producers cleverly multi-track her vocals to create a grand, powerhouse chorus out of the repetition of “To love, to love, yeah” and because it’s a pop ballad, the vocals can be breathy and untrained and it’s fine, right? It’s a ballad, it doesn’t need to be perfect, and hence we can take advantage of the complete lack of singing talent this person has. I don’t know, it just seems so cliché and predictable to me. You can only tell it’s a FINNEAS beat once the second verse hits and the synths get jerkier with the bass wobbles, and he usually has a pretty signature sound, so yeah, that’s the best way to put it. Or, perhaps, this song is also so monumentally mediocre that it barely even exists.

Conclusion

Again, I’m sorry this is out so late but it was a big ordeal to write, especially due to all the Kanye songs. I’ll try and get the next one out a lot sooner, I assure you, but there’s an album bomb this week too, so we’ll see about that. Anyways, the Best of the Week is going to Coldplay for “Orphans”, who just barely edged out Niall Horan, who gets the Honourable Mention, with “Nice to Meet Ya”. Worst of the Week should be obvious, in fact, it’s not going to a song, it’s going to three songs, all by Kanye West. “Saleh” isn’t all that bad, but JESUS IS KING was such an immense disappointment that I think he should be crowned Worst of the Week based on not only “Closed on Sunday” or God forbid “Follow God”, but also on principle alone. The Dishonourable Mention is going to Selena Gomez for “Look at Her Now” for being hilariously misguided in the production area, Jesus. I’m going to wrap this week up with a Top 40 ranking of the whole chart on Twitter, which I’ll try to do bi-weekly, no guarantee, so follow me there @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and shoddy attempts at humour, and I’ll be seeing you here again next week. Peace!

[moments777]

Pray for him.🙏🏻

KAYNE WEST - Many of you have heard the reports that Kane West, a famous rapper and businessman, received the Lord about one year ago and is making waves with his new album and theme that "Jesus is King," yet is being blasted from all sides for various reasons and opinions.

I have been told that he was raised in a Christian home, drifted away and came back to the Lord. I have heard him on several secular interviews, and up to this point have not heard him say nothing that would cause me to speak out against him.

The controversy for some is that he is very conservative and the back community which is predominately democrat, is against his stand for Trump and the statements he makes that the democratic party has used the black community for a voting block and the people need to think for themselves and other bold ideas he is presenting concerning the need for fathers in the black community.

Among some Christians, they seem to be holding up his past (or his style) and saying he can't really be saved. This reminds me of the story of Saul of Tarsus in the Bible. He received a radical conversion, and yet people in the early church did not think he was saved, and even talked about his past and how he had wronged people. Paul said he had wronged no man and also gave the key to his conversions, to "forget those things that are behind and reach for those things that are before."

Those who are bringing up how "bad" a person was in the past and judging them now in the converted state are, well to be blunt, ignorant of the Bible, and how Christ forgives. This super judgmental attitude is what has turned an entire generation away from the Lord, as they view Christians as a bunch of unloving and hateful judgmental hypocrites. West is doing interviews on secular radio and television and one secular host said, "Kane, you have almost persuaded me to be a Christian." This man is reaching people that would never listen to me or any other "preacher" preach a message.

Just as in your first steps with the Lord, baby Christians can make mistakes, judgment errors or be unstable in certain doctrine, but this is where they must grow and mature in the Lord.

Jesus disciples began rebuking people who were not of their flock and Jesus in turn rebuked them to their face telling them he had other sheep that were not in their group.

As always it is the secular, liberal media creating much of the storm and also Christians who want to talk about past bad lyrics and rap songs that were improper. As for me I hope this man will stay on course and win a lot of people to Christ. There is a real movement right now in Hollywood where stars are turning their lived over to the Lord and we should pray for them that they will become grounded in the Word. For months, I have felt a burden for Katie Perry, who was raised by Pentecostal parents and several others who need to return fully to the Lord and use their talents to reach this generation. It would be sad to "gain the world (its approval and wealth) and lose your soul. I AM NO MAN'S JUDGE - GOD IS. We are better to leave who is saved and not saved to the Lord.

Perry Stone Ministry

🙏🏻✝️🐑❤️

[notconsolation]

alright here we go, the moment i've been waiting for all my life: holding onto you, addict with a pen, isle of flightless birds, taxi cab, kitchen sink, lane boy aaaandddd doubt

The buildup has been a long time coming but I think this is the true pinnacle of both of our existences. So. Heads up I think this turned into a mini rant about my feelings on each song. It turns out I don’t half ass things when it comes to music. Be warned. This is really freaking long.

Holding on to youGoddamn this song is so genius, especially in its relative simplicity (relative to their other songs - it has fewer layers, fewer different synths, the repetitive keyboard track that forms the basis keeps a beat in such a way that the drums are free to be more of a tool for emphasis and emotion than timekeeping agh oh god I could go on for a long time) and the entire second verse is Tyler at the peak of his talent for taking these painful pictures and notions of suicide and pain and internal darkness and focusing them in a way that makes me want to belt it out full of emotion, and also the “it ain’t the speakers that bump hearts, it’s our hearts that make the beat” !!!!!!!! The motto by which my heart keeps pounding against my ribcage. But I think it’s got to be: “and now that I write and think about it and the story unfolds, you should take my life, you should take my soul” because to me it’s about how expressing things through writing and creating just allows you to rethink everything and whenever I create anything I want to give it my entire lifeblood and pour my soul into it, so the “you should take my life, you should take my soul” is both about these intense feelings of depression and the willingness to give oneself over to ones art entirely

Addict with a penThis one takes my lungs and wrings them out like a wet rag. “I know I haven’t been the best of sons”. I think it has to be that. But the water imagery. I know I’ve talked somewhere on here about my penchant for water imagery and the semantic field of religious imagery and saving and drowning and good lord does this one play into that. I remember falling asleep once while singing this to myself and just crying and it was beautiful and cathartic.

Isle of flightless birdsSo this song I love mainly for the catchy and fast drum beat that introduces the song along with the keyboard with a synth distortion that for whatever reason makes me think of renaissance fairs. Also because Tyler doesn’t use B major very often so it feels kind of special because (you guys I don’t know how many of you I’m losing to this music jargon but it gets me so excited) it’s got this warm and vaguely nasal sound to it that I just,,, okay I realize I’m way off track. Not terribly profound but I really like: “and time will fly by and the sky will cry as light is fading” because it’s a goddamn beautiful image. And the idea that the sky doesn’t want to let go of light is beautiful too.

Taxi cabI cannot think of this song without also thinking of this old tweet I think Tyler once posted with a picture of him rolling his eyes with the caption: when they won’t play the old stuff. Because they never play this one.for me this is their version of a ballad in the sense that it really is a story. It always sort of felt like a part two of a car, a torch, a death to me and I don’t quite know why. But. The syncopated rhythm and repeated basic chords which I can’t actually quite remember but I think is mostly a variation on an A chord? Anyway. What I love so very very very very much about this song is that it’s a story (and such a beautiful one at that goddamn I want to read short stories written by angsty teen ty) but it feels like a cop out to use that as a reason to say my favourite lyrics are the whole song. So: “we’re driving towards the morning sun where all your blood is washed away and all you did will be undone”. I have goosebumps even just thinking it to myself. I just. I’m actually shivering. It makes me think of blood oranges and salt and suits without ties and I just. Hmspje.

Kitchen sinkHooo boy so on the one hand I think this song is slightly overhyped. The hipster in me rebels. At the same time I fucking get the hype because the haunting way Tyler sings the chorus, zack’s rap, the idea and thought behind the concept of a kitchen sink being something to stay alive for because only you know its meaning….. !!!¡¡! But honestly I think I’m gonna go with the super simple and profoundly visceral “leave me alone” when it’s immediately juxtaposed by “don’t leave me alone”. The way he fucking howls it, the simple expression of how messy the feeling is, both in sounds and words, the way that the chords in the main instrumental melody line up in emphasis with the drums….! I have feelings. Many of them.

Lane boyI love how bubbly this one sounds? Somehow? And it’s got a sort of reggae vibe? Which DUDE I am so into. Not the song I relate to most obviously because it’s about success and pressure to keep it up so um duh not thaaat relatable but still Such. A. Tune. Favourite lyrics: “if it was our way we’d have a tempo change every other time change” cause yeeesss same you guys.

Aaaaaand DoubtChrist okay so. I’ll be honest this was the last song on bf that I got into. I was at a nondescript crossing in the middle of nowhere in Denmark thinking about why hell is cold for some and hot for others and also thinking of ancestral memories. Anyway. I was super tired and pulled out my iPod and put it on and it hit me properly for the first time. And it did fuckingg hit me. The sort of high strung punchy synths and heavy heavy basslines and the almost autotuned sound of Tyler’s voice somehow rounds it out because it’s about Doubt and the word Doubt itself is broken apart in the chorus but it all sounds so smooth and round, especially in combination with the synths!!! You can see I think about this possibly too much. Anyway, favourite lyrics. For one thing, the anaphers at the beginning of the lines and the way they hold it all together and give it a phonetic coherence that belies the way he’s talking about uncertainty by being punchy and certain. But specifically: “temperature is dropping, temperature is dropping, I’m not sure if I can see this ever stopping, shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no, you are all that I’ve got,no” because Tyler, you continue to be #relatable

Jesus im sorry what a fucking novel

[aninsidelook]

Jesus Walks

Kanye West released Jesus Walks on his first studio album The College Dropout, February 10, 2004. Jesus Walks won West Song of the Year at the 47th annual Grammy awards. West began by introducing Jesus Walks, stating, “We at war with terrorism, racism. But most of all we at war with ourselves.” These powerful words set up a theme in the song that continues throughout the human history of the road to redemption. Throughout the song, the repeating chorus, “(Jesus walk). God show me the way because the Devil’s tryna break me down. (Jesus walk with me)” signifies the struggle people of Christian faith and myself deal with trying to live life according to the teaching and actions of Jesus Christ. The world I live in is forever changing, and the lines between moral and immoral regularly change. As a Christian faith follower, I am always tempted by things that Bible states are sinful and must ask Jesus Christ to guide me in his moral compass. West’s first verse of the song explains the situations others and I face as a United States citizen involving crime and the history of police brutality. Although I come from a family of police and veterans and respect the people who do these jobs and live my life according to the law, I remain fearful of encounters with armed law enforcement. West ends the first verse saying, “A trunk full of coke, rental car from Avis. My mama used to say only Jesus can save us. Well mama I know I act a full. But I’ll be gone ‘til November, I got packs to move.” I relate this to my mother, who has gone through her struggles with faith and always told me to believe in the power of Jesus Christ, but just as West describes, I have defied her preaching for my gain. In the second chorus West adds “(Jesus walk). the only thing I pray is that my feet down fail me now. (Jesus Walk). and I don’t think there’s nothin’ I can do now to right my wrongs. (Jesus walk with me). I wanna talk to God but I’m afraid ‘cause we ain’t spoke in so long.” There is a scripture in the book of Matthew 14:22-32, where Jesus’s disciple Peter was able to walk on water with Jesus but doubted his faith briefly, and he sunk into the water before being caught by Jesus. Just as West states, I have days where the only thing holding me afloat is my faith, and then there are times I go months without praying and following in Jesus’s footsteps that make me feel as if I am not worthy of God’s love. In West’s second verse, he speaks of redemption expressing “To the hustlers, killer, murderers, drug dealers, even the strippers. (Jesus walks for them)..” This verse speaks to me about the power of Jesus Christ and reminds me that nobody is more forgiving than him. West states, “I know He hear me when my feet get weary. ‘Cause we’re the almost nearly extinct. We rapper is role models: we rap, we don’t think. I ain’t here to argue about His facial features. Or here to convert atheist into believers. I’m just tryna say the way school need teachers. The way Kathie Lee needed Regis, that’s the way I need Jesus..” These lyrics made some of the most impacts on my life and the way I opened my eyes to view the world. In my toughest days, I know Jesus is watching over me, no matter how far I go in life, I will always need Jesus to guide and protect me. The last part of West’s verse truly speaks to me every day when he says, “...They say you can rap about anything except for Jesus. That means guns, sex, lies, videotapes. But if I talk about God my record won’t get played, huh? Well if this take away from my spins. Which’ll probably take away from my ends. Then I hope this take away from my sins. And bring the day that I’m dreamin’ about. Next time I’m in the club, everybody screamin’ out. (Jesus Walks).” With everything that is going on in this world, people are losing their faith quicker than ever. I do not want to impose my religion on people, but I will continue to let Jesus use me to bring the gospel back to the people who want it, even if that means I might lose self-gain opportunities. (Word Count, 750)

[kentkennyradcliffe]

Movies

There are few movies that affect a culture, or a people, the way movies affect me. Movies can have a huge affect a single person. Each person has their own story, and movies play a part of their story. A movie could have shaped someone growing up, or a movie could be a reminder of a happy time, or a movie could change how someone thinks about life, their morals, or themselves. Moulin Rouge, The Basketball Diaries, Jesus Christ Superstar, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and V for Vendetta.

I saw Moulin Rouge on VH1 one Wednesday night while my parents were out at one of their nightly parties. They would not let me watch VH1, because my parents tried to protect me from the world and shelter me. I guess they felt like by protecting me, I would not end up like them. So naturally, I rebelled against them. It was in small ways at first, like by watching VH1, but it was an escape for me. My reality was boring, and Moulin Rouge offered some fun. I became obsessed with the movie, hoping it would be on again so I could watch it. I had never seen anything like it. There was love and lust, two things that I had no idea about at such a young age, and a strong sexual feeling about the movie that excited me. I saw the love between Christian and Satine and wanted to feel that way. I convinced myself that love could only be as strong as theirs, and that I would find it someday.

 Nicole Kidman played Satine, a very sexy, seductive woman who could have anyone she wanted, because she was the diamond of the Moulin Rouge. She wanted to be a star, it was her dream, and she was willing to sell herself sexually to get what she wanted. I was fascinated with the lifestyle she chose, and the reasons why she chose it. The psychology of her character interested me, and I felt so much sympathy for her throughout the movie, especially how she died.

 Love was never really taught to me but watching Moulin Rouge gave me an idea of what Love should be like. I learned about secrets and how you should never trust a woman or man that says they feel something towards, because they could be deceiving you, especially if you can offer them something. It taught me about knowing the signs that your relationship is based on lies. The Duke had no idea that Satine was with the writer, Christian. The scene when one of the dancers comes up to the Duke and says, “I can't believe she would fall in love with the writer, oops, I mean the sitar player.” The Duke starts to realize everything he believed was a lie. So, before opening night, he makes them change the ending so that Satine’s character, the Courtesan, chooses the Maharashtra (representing the Duke), instead of the penniless sitar player (representing Christian.) It was the Duke’s way of showing power. Satine decided to give into his power struggle and made herself look like she loved the Duke. She must sleep with him to get all she wanted, which was fame and fortune. Christian cannot stand the thought of his lover sleeping with The Duke, and he his jealousy drives him mad. Satine is faced with a decision to go with the Duke or choose Christian. This is the moment when I felt the strongest connection to the movie because I felt like I was in a struggle like that also.

 Over the summer of 2010, I was very depressed and using movies to make myself feel better. Since my parents had a subscription to Netflix, and I had a Wii, I could instantly stream movies anytime I wanted. I watched so many movies, but one stood out above the rest: The Basketball Diaries. I knew what the movie was before I watched it, because my friends had recommended it to me. They said I would be able to relate to it. I was dealing with a break up at the time and it was my first full year of being completely sober from the drugs that I did in high school. The movie dealt with drug use and the problems that came with it. Leonardo DiCaprio played a very convincing druggie that started out by just doing simple drugs like pills and little lines of cocaine. There is a scene when he was with his friend and two girls. He got lucky that night with her. It reminded me of the times that I have done the same.

 I love to see strong emotion in a movie that makes me emotional.  If I can watch a movie and relate to it, then I know I love it. I like being reminded of things by watching a movie, even if it is a bad memory. Tears are not bad for me. The Basketball Diaries is one of the few movies that can make me cry. The scene when he goes back to his mother, and pleads for her to let him in, was when I realized this movie was like my life. I started to feel his pain because I knew that pain before. His mother did not want to let him in, and he started to lose control and let his anger out on her. I have hurt my mom many times with the words I have said, so it was hard to watch Leo’s mother cry. The only part I could not relate to was when the police arrested him. I wondered what my life would be like if I had gone to jail.

 I also connected with the movie because it reminded me of my friends and me. We were like a less hardcore version of The Basketball Diaries. It started out with four guys that were all friends, and it shows how each one of them ruined their life. My friends and I were the same, we were just having fun, but like the Basketball Diaries we all lost touch and turned out differently. I am most like Leo because I made it out alive. I was lucky.

 The movie influenced me to write more about what I went through, in hopes that it would help others not make the same mistakes. The end of the movie shows Leo on a stage, telling his story to an audience. He wrote a lot of his experiences in a diary, which is what I do. I have many journals filled with my thoughts, my experiences, my bad memories, and my drug trips. I have shared them with people by putting them on my blog, and I like it when people say that it helps them somehow. I think writing is a great way of sharing personal experiences and letting others read it. It is a way of seeking closure and being artistic. Maybe I could turn it into a movie, like The Basketball Diaries?

 I grew up in a family that had no religion when I was younger, so I did not go to church. I had no idea of God or Jesus. That all changed when I saw the Jesus Christ Superstar. Music is like a lesson for me, I study music and memorize lyrics like they were test questions. I learn more from music than teachers or my parents. The music in Jesus Christ Superstar taught me about Jesus. Though it might not be a literal translation of how Jesus was, I understood his suffering, the angry mob of people who turned against him when they used to believe in him, and how Jesus must have felt when he was in the Garden of Gesimonie. The movie made me unashamed of liking Jesus because he was made into a rock star.

 My favorite scene in the movie is when Jesus was beaten by the 39 lashes as Pontius Pilate is counting them down, and everyone is watching. I loved the acting of the Pontius Pilate. His song after the beating was so powerful. When he sings “Die if you want to, you innocent puppet,” I shiver. It is such a true statement he made, that Jesus was innocent. Plus, Pilate did not want Jesus’s blood on his hands, but he literally, and spiritually did. The idea that Jesus was once immensely popular and everyone loved him, then all of a sudden, they turned against him, was little a lesson to me. I learned that no matter how much fame you have, popularity can always be taken away. Fame is not always permanent, because the people control your popularity. If you die while being famous, you become a martyr. Kennedy was a martyr, Cobain was a martyr, even the kids at columbine were of martyr status, though not in the right way. They were given fame after they shot those kids. If you die after doing something that got the words attention, you are remembered forever. Jesus is remembered forever because of what he did, and the world wrote about it and made Jesus famous. Christianity and Catholicism are some of the world’s leading religions. Jesus Christ Superstar showed me the power one man can have by giving his life for a greater cause.

 Rocky Horror Picture Show is one of those movies that appealed to my curious side. I was a freshman in high school when I saw it for the first time. I was at a party with a lot of misfits, hipsters, and indie kids. I was a part of the emo and scene time, which was my entire high school life. We believed in emocore, which was emotional hardcore, and not being afraid of combining masculine with feminine. Androgyny was normal. Everything that was considered weird by other kids was what we were all about.

 Rocky Horror was something that my high school did not like, because it was full of conservative, religious, assholes, or the kids who followed the rap and hip-hop scene. They knew only black or white, no shade of gray. Rocky Horror Picture show was not a black or white movie, it defiantly blurred the lines of sexuality and masculinity. It was glam rock and musical at the same time. Tim curry’s character, Frankenfurter, was something I had never seen before. I was closed minded about sexuality, and thought men who like men were not tough, and looked obviously gay. When I saw frankenfurter strutting around in his drag and singing to Rocky, I thought he was gay. I did not change this mindset, until I saw him seduce Janice and then her husband. That was when I realized he was bisexual. Bisexuality is something I was interested in when I was in high school, because of the scene I was in. When I saw Rocky Horror though, it blew my mind about sexuality. I still believe that you cannot tell someone’s true sexuality just by looking at them, especially in today’s youth. There are many boys and girls who are straight but can be curious or questioning at one point in their life. For some reason, Rocky Horror is the movie that brought the curiosity out of me.

 Around the same time that I saw Rocky Horror, I saw V for Vendetta also. I was already well spoken about my interest in politics and I was listening to a lot of political punk and rock music. I was reading the book 1984 by George Orwell and got into David Bowie’s Diamond Dogs CD. I had no way of tying it all together, until I saw V for Vendetta. I understood anarchy after seeing that movie. I learned the difference between black flag anarchy and red flag anarchy. V was trying to achieve peace and Unitarianism through anarchy. He saw how corrupt the government was the bad guy in command. V knew that he achieved his level of power by manipulating the system. So, the system was flawed, and V took matters into his own hands. He set the people free by giving them the power.

 My favorite scene in the movie is when you discover what it was like for one the prisoners. The main character is put in a cell and must endure torture and starvation and humiliation. She I treated less than human. V makes her go through the same thing he went through. He lets her find notes in hole from another cell mate, and she reads about that woman's life. The woman was criminalized for being in love with another woman. The woman tells of her childhood and her life with the woman she loved, and the when things went wrong. The way the woman writes is very emotional, with one of the best lines saying, “ Even though I will never meet you, know that I love you.” It gave the main character strength to fight through the pain.

 When she is released from the cell, she finds out that it was V who kept her there. She is forced to deal with her anger and her pain, and it makes her stronger. She proved to V that she was not weak anymore, and that she knew it was right to destroy the government that caused all this suffering. I changed too after watching that. I thought what if I was in the cell, locked up for just being me. I realized I was weak too, and I would have given into the pain. V for Vendetta made me stronger.

  These are the movies that I think helped shaped me into the man I am now.

[pronetopronoia]

Album Debut: In Memorandum TRIGGER WARNING (for the reader)

Fuckin’ YO! 

“I met a rapper and he shared with me his new album and then killed himself.” 

Truth BOMB for the less familiar with literature: This is just a personality I made up in order to write this album right now. That is how writing works. I am not pursuing a rap career. I’m not being paid for this so I can do whatever the fuck I want because it’s my own personal blog. 

Consider this blog my own personal open mic, hence the trigger warning for you.

Here’s where first I, then the made-up rapper personality, ramble on and on and over-hype ourselves up prior to the actual lyrics:

A “bit” about me:

First of all, to that game, have you ever/already? My answer is probably.

The University of Iowa Cinema and Comparative Literature programs are pretty good. They are now two different programs, when I went there back before ISIS was even a thing, they were one combined program. I switched to that from Pre-Med. 

LOL - no, seriously, that is what the online system was called to register for classes that kicked in at some point. 

I switched to that major from Pre-Med so I could get fucking wasted more with “the cool kids”. And also be in Marching Band instead of rowing on the Crew Team. I would rather hang out with dorks than single lesbians. Sorry. Unless they are sex-deprived dorks then I can’t even with that. Also the drumline guys were hot and man were they were mean to me, haha! 

“Jesus fucking christ, Lauren, everyone deserves love and affection!” 

Yeah, I’m not saying that, but if they are annoying and pushy as an adult then they aren’t getting it from me so best move along. Do you want something else? Other friends? Cool, I have referrals! Money? Sorry, fresh out. Do you need a job? I can point you in a direction based on your career path. Do you want to scam me? Let’s see what you got. Are you a child-molester either metaphorically or actually and that is why you are bugging me? There is sadly an enormous network of people into that (both metaphorically and actually) so you need to go insert yourself into that network. If you need the key I probably have it somewhere. Do you need a babysitter? How annoying is your kid, does their cuteness balance out their annoyingness?

Also:

D’s do get degrees. 

That’s a figure of speech that means a number of things, but basically be hot and if you’re not you better be fucking funny. Because if you take the party route, regardless, you are going to need to be smart and also fucking super creative because you are gonna get into some jams!  

Rambling Album Notes from the Rapper (take a seat, it’s a long one, he wrote this after some Angel Dust so buckle up, ugggghhhhhh, when can we get this at Best Buy?): 

This album was really therapeutic for me to work through. I just really went through some hard times previously and I actually wrote a math album a number of years ago but never released it because I forgot and then also didn’t want to deal with math people. This album goes out to all the folks I have encouraged previously. You’re welcome. Also thank you for the encouragement. I’m a writer, comedian, English professor, and business person. Those are solitary-ish jobs. I fucking love it. I love working because I am a workaholic. Also non-practicing alcoholic but it is summer now so let’s see what happens! I also work out a lot because I am fat to my own standards and always will be, we all have insecurities. I guess I’m just really into productive self-abuse. Like a cutter but not for attention (sorry, suicide is not funny) but like beat myself up and then stuff is produced. Also, notes: I beat myself up enough so I don’t need anyone else to do it so if you enjoy conflict byeeeeeee byeeeeeeeeeee!  

Oh god the next album will be White Collar Crime! Just kidding! Or am I? If it’s super on the down-low straight fucking stealing money directly from the U.S. Government’s war fund or acquiring foreign money to fucking fan out amongst subtle peacekeepers I will find the paperwork to do it. I am already at a financial stalemate with them that you would not believe and I have nothing to lose. 

Also, I got an advanced degree in Screenwriting but if you just whip one out it devalues it and probably lessens the likelihood that you’ll appeal to a major label. I mean studio. Major labels are shit shows though, as you’re aware. Luckily there’s local ones like Cartouche Records. Also, I formed a local entertainment corporation, like, actually legally and with the government, of whom I plan to find a way to rob, hence the corporation. So if you are a screenwriter, get writing! I also have a sole proprietorship that currently publishes books. I can do albums too, on CD, and it’s not the most cost effective or smart, but you can do whatever you fucking want. Maybe I’ll put out this album to fucking test out the system. This experiment that started my publishing company was pretty fun and I pitched it to a really amazing other indie publisher who may or may not give it  consideration once other projects currently on deck are seen through which is how you properly run a fucking independent publishing company. 

Oh god the government is involved, FUCK. Yeah I need to acquire both some working capitol, assets, and debt in order to get some fucking fodder for my prospectus to appeal to a competent underwriter (GOOD FUCKING LUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK) to facilitate an initial public offering. What’s that? Oh, it’s my exit strategy. 

Oh god is this another cry for help/suicide thing? Yeah, no, refer to last post. I want to just fucking metaphorically disappear to smoke blunts and chug 40′s with metaphorical 2 Pac and fucking Biggie (if he’s lost some weight by now). How can you say that?! Jesus! Also probably just have money to travel around solo on a whim sounds pretty fucking amazing to me. 

Also, is writing a prospectus fun? For me it is! 

Also, AGAIN, working a corporate job is awesome, I enjoy the perks and dislike  the sexual harassment and politics. So fuck everyone, I just made my own corporation. LOL! You’re so cray! Haven't you had enough abuse? Nope! I bring it on myself and love it! I have years of even more stress ahead thank you Jesus! Oh, Jesus is me because I fucking am the one behind it and doing the work. You can “crucify” me all you want because you won’t have to even deal with me like ever! 

Ok, here’s the hot trax:

Track 1: Suicide Bomb (not a comedy reference)

Lyrics: Something, something, something about getting off your fucking phone and not following your own self-determined set of prompts 

Track 2: Someone for Everyone

Lyrics: Something, something, something about there’s plenty of fish in the sea but if you’re really fucked up and hate yourself I bet you feel totally alone, no sweat, I am sure I know the perfect match for you so if you are really hard-up I can send them your way if I have not already done so. I am absolutely not the person for you though so please scurry along! 

Track 3: Write a Screenplay

Lyrics: My parents were fucking lazy and retarded in their youth and if they had been offered the opportunity to participate in a government experiment they absolutely would especially if it would ensure their entrance into the entertainment industry at some point

Track 4: Test Tube Baby or Clone?

Lyrics: Oh god life is so hard for a test tube baby but your parents created you to do their work, you are the KEY! Or wait, do you have a clone out there somewhere, they are going to annoy you so just introduce them to everyone possible and then sneak out the back

Track 5: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Lyrics: If you sense someone cannot handle conflict but you insist on initiating it with them, you need to learn about boundaries. If someone asks you to stop doing something or to stop contacting them, then respect that and leave them the fuck alone.

Track 6: Drugzzzzz

Lyrics: Don’t do them! If you want them I can get them for you though maybe, I’m a rapper! Also, not that hard to get so maybe the price will go down? That’d be nice. But then if they are legal, like, that would be good for the economy and government, so wait, which is better? If this interests you then get off your ass and pursue politics yourself and get a law passed. Or become a drug dealer. Go to law school. Fucking pick a thing and pursue it. By thing I don’t mean living or metaphorically dead creature. 

Track 7: Naps

Lyrics: Yo Imma take a nap! 

Track 8: Nap, Then Beers, Then Sun, then BBQ

Eight is always the best track, is that still a thing? Anyway, ending on this, keep having a nice weekend, this weather is awesome!