#I am collecting original characters like Pokemon. Am I possibly doing too much? yeah. Will it stop me? No

[rogueshadeaux]

Chapter Twenty-Four — Burden Borne

How much bloodshed? How many people would have to die so their graves could be the foundation of peace? How many more was I supposed to be able to stomach, to see as permissible? Why was there a fucking allowed amount in the first place? 

4.7k words | 16 min read time | TRIGGER WARNINGS: Death, injuries, natural disaster, murder, testing condoned by the US Government

“We’ll call you with results as soon as we get them,” the doctor said as the nurse rushed off with the skin biopsy. Dr. Sims nodded, thanking her for her time as she finished dressing another new set of stitches and snapping off thick surgery gloves, disappearing past the curtain and out the door. 

Dad was pacing now, his shadow casting across the floor again and again as he passed by the open window. Brent was in his chair, steering clear of his stomps lest he wished to be bulldozed over. Dr. Sims double checked the new set of stitches on my leg, shaking his head slightly. 

No one would talk, and I think that’s what scared me the most about this. I’d just found out Augustine had some mystery power when we fought, something Dad and Dr. Sims weren’t even familiar with, and no one would say anything! It felt like I was attending my own wake, like my fate was already out of my hands. 

Dad was the first to break. “You ever heard of anything like this?” He asked Dr. Sims. 

Dr. Sims stood, helping me cover my leg back up with the blanket. “A power that can negate someone’s healing? No.” 

Dad went right back to pacing. “I didn’t even know tar could be a power,” he muttered. 

“I’ve…heard rumors,” Dr. Sims said, moving back to his computer and scrolling through it a bit. “But nothing like this.”

“What do we do?” Dad demanded.

I could see how Dr. Sims tensed even with his back turned, how he hesitated for a moment before saying to Dad, “I want to get samples before jumping to any conclusions. I know someone who could help, but not without that tar.”

Dad glanced over at me — only for a moment, though. It seemed like he couldn’t stomach looking at me for too long. “I can’t go right now,” He said pointedly. 

Dr. Sims logged out of the mini-laptop and closed in, turning in place. “I’ll go back to Salmon Bay, see if I can find anything.” He was already shrugging on his jacket by the time Dad agreed. “I’ll call you if the doctors get back to me before I return,”

Dr. Sims then turned to regard both Brent and I. “If either of you can think of anything else, tell your father.”

He left on hurried goodbyes, leaving the three of us in an awkward and tense silence.

Dad wouldn’t stop pacing, and Brent refused to look me in the eye. Both seemed angry, though I wasn’t really sure why — well, no, I knew why Brent was. He was up in arms because I had the gall to give a fuck about him enough to try and keep Augustine from making him malleable. All I knew was I couldn’t stand being in the room much longer. “Dad?”

He only hummed in response. “D’you think it’s okay if I take that bath?”

I got final confirmation from the doctor that it was okay so long as I didn’t get that hole in my neck wet, and left the two of them to ruminate on their issues, giving myself the time to worry about my own. 

I wasn’t prepared to face my reflection and see that’s what I looked like. I felt like I was more bandage and bruise than human; so many parts of my skin lit up blue, like I rolled around in spilled ink. My back was steeped in iodine and littered with black stitches, the skin around the slice on my side was bright red. My neck was even a little bit swollen on the left of it where that ball of concrete hit it. I couldn’t stomach looking at myself for long. It was just another reminder of how wrong everything was. 

The shallow water soothed my aches, thank god, but all that did was clear up enough room for my nerves to take hold. All I could think about was my fear. Why wouldn’t I heal, what was wrong with me? The water slid off of my legs with a laze to it, my powers working against gravity. It reminded me of that dress of water in my…dream? Hallucination? Purgatory? I didn’t know what it was. I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to know, because that’d be some confirmation of whether Mom was real or not. I wanted her to be real, I wanted her to be there — but that’d also mean something would have to happen to me if I was to ever meet her again. And now that I was a broken Conduit…

It felt like too much of a possibility, returning to her. 

But fuck, I’d give anything to make that hug real. To make those reassurances real. I just wanted my Mom, was that so bad? I just needed someone to tell me things were going to be okay. 

I broke down thinking about how gentle she was, how I missed out on a lifetime of that. Hallucination or not, I was homesick for a place I couldn’t return to. 

I didn’t come back out of the bathroom for an hour, but it didn’t matter — neither of them changed places. Dad was still as a statue now, leaned against the wall and looking out of the window at Seattle, but otherwise nothing changed. 

Well, that wasn’t true. The television program ended to show the mid-morning news, and I froze in the middle of braiding my hair to look at what was on it. 

Elliott Bay was flooded, boats misplaced and docks completely shredded, the roofs of some shacks at the ends of piers floating freely in the flood. There were flashes of businesses partially underwater in West Seattle, of people in Queen Anne sitting atop their roofs waiting to be rescued. Downtown wasn’t spared; the base of the Space Needle was a pool, a few unlucky people in hi-vis coats wading through the polluted murk. The stream cut to a simulated chart of the flooding, captioned Christmas Eve Tsunami 2036.

“What happened?” I asked, moving towards the wall the television was mounted on. Slowly, as the ache was already permeating my body again. I might have to live in water just to make it through this healing process painlessly. I finished buttoning the spare soft flannel Dad gave me in place of a pajama shirt, staring at the simulation as ten foot tall waters overtook the map. 

Dad cursed behind me, and before I knew it, the television was off, him holding the wired remote like it was an IED. He looked at me, bug-eyed, and said, “Jean—”

Why was he so freaked out? “Was there a tsunami?” I asked, like it wasn’t painfully obvious. The west was littered with fault lines, there were three in the Portland area alone — was there an actual, big earthquake this time? Did it flood Seattle? 

Brent was white as a ghost when I glanced back at him, making me pause. “Did…did someone get hurt?” I asked. Tsunamis can go both ways, right? Did the reservation get flooded?

They both stayed looking at me like that, like they expected me to break, and I could feel realization settle into the ache between my shoulder blades as I thought about Christmas Eve. About how the last thing I did was summon a huge wave to wipe Augustine and the Archangel soldiers off of the earth. I wasn’t there to pull it back like I did the whirlpool, to control how the tides would fall. 

Oh God. There was no earthquake, otherwise the news would have said so. There was just a tsunami, and I had an idea where it came from. “Did…” I choked out. “Did I…”

Dad slowly laid the remote back on the bed. “It’s not your fault,” He began, confirming everything I needed to know. Everything except one thing. 

“How many people died?” I whispered. 

Dad shook his head lightly. “Jeanie—”

I was already starting for the remote before he could say more, but he didn’t fight to stop me. Guess he knew I was going to find out regardless, and decided it’d be better to deal with the fallout than the fight. 

I didn’t need to turn the volume high. I didn’t even really need to try and search for the answer; it was there clear as day on the screen, 134 CONFIRMED DEAD, Over 3,000 INJURED.

One hundred and thirty four dead. 

“No,” I muttered, my uninjured hand shooting to my mouth. Oh my god, I did this. I killed all these people before Christmas. “No, no, no.” 

I didn’t feel the ground rushing towards me until Brent snatched me from the air, his hold pressing into my injured side and making me yelp. None of that mattered. I deserved every bit of pain, I deserved to hurt. I didn’t deserve for Brent to catch me from my collapse and help lower me to the ground as I began sobbing, nor did I deserve Dad coming around the bed to take me from his arms. How was I supposed to act like being treated well was okay when over a hundred people were dead from what I’ve done?

I was deaf to Dad’s reassurances, barely able to see his figure past the blur of my tears — his figure on the television, I mean. There was layman footage of him pulling back a wave, just enough to make the rush an ebb before disappearing into the water again. 

The only reason people were alive was because of Dad. The only reason I was, was because of Dad. How much more reckless was I going to get? “I killed those people,” I whispered, aghast. 

“Jean, you weren’t there, you were gone before—“ Dad started, but I cut him off with my head shaking. 

“No, no.” I sobbed. 

“This isn’t your fault—“ 

“Stop lying to me!” I demanded on a screech that sounded inhuman. I couldn’t do this anymore! My entire life was a fucking lie, he didn’t tell me the truth when I asked what happened to Mom’s brother — I couldn’t stomach another something sugared in half-truths to help me swallow it down. He hadn’t even told me about this, and he had time to! 

It was my water, my tsunami, that did this. “I did this,” I sobbed. 

Was this what Augustine was trying to protect Mom from? Feeling like she was a monster because of what her powers could do?

I watched the sun set over a distressed city, all cried out. The flooding seemed to have receded mostly, if that segment was to be believed, but that didn’t mitigate the damage. The destroyed homes, the destroyed lives. My power could kill so easily, and I didn’t even stop to care about anyone else when I was freezing. 

I didn’t think at all. That was the issue — I didn’t think. 

“—anything, Jean?” Dad’s voice broke through my thoughts. 

“Hm?” I hummed, looking up. Dad and Brent were standing in the middle of some kind of delegation, Dad with his coat on. 

“I said: did you want anything from the cafeteria downstairs?” Dad repeated. 

I just shook my head, looking back out the window. How the hell was I supposed to eat when my stomach felt like this? 

There was some more muttering but none of it really reached my ears. Footsteps, the door closing—

And then someone sitting on my bed. 

I looked over to Dad just as he finished taking off his coat, and asked, “Where’s Brent?”

“Figured he could get his own food,” Dad shrugged, tossing his coat onto the seat of the chair. “Wanted to talk to you, too.” 

Oh, great. 

I dropped my eyes, raising my one hand to meet my other so I could pick at the PICC. “Jean,” he called gently. “None of what happened is your fault.” 

“How is it not, Dad?” I whispered. I wanted to put fire behind the demand but I could barely even raise my voice. 

“You weren’t…” he hesitated. “Aware for it. You didn’t intentionally push those tidal waves into Seattle.”

I might as well have. 

Dad waited a while longer, probably for me to say something, and sighed when I didn’t. “You shouldn’t blame yourself for this. You were trying to protect yourself — and Brent — and you did. You know how proud I am about that? You know how many times I had to fight Augustine before—“

“It shouldn’t be at the expense of other people,” I interrupted. “I was trying to stop Augustine from killing the Akomish and I just killed way more people than she would have if I stood by,”

“But you didn’t,” Dad said pointedly. “You didn’t just stand by. I think that matters more.”

“Yeah, tell that to everyone who lost family on fucking Christmas.” I snipped. 

“You’re not gonna be the hero to everyone,” Dad continued. Thank God he didn’t chastise me for cursing, I think I would have lost it if he did. “No matter what you do, someone’s going to see you as a bad guy. They did me—”

“You didn’t kill over a hundred people!” I cut him off, lifting my head to meet his eyes. “You kept me from doing more damage! You don’t get t-to sit there and act like it wasn’t a bad thing! You know it’s bad — that’s why you didn't mention mom killing her brother, and you wouldn’t have even told me about the tsunami if I didn’t see it! You know it’s something to be ashamed of,”

There were times, when Dad would engage us in our little arguments and debates, that he’d turn on the stoic lawyer thing and we’d definitely lose the fight. There was just something about arguing emotions versus logic against a person that made you talk yourself into a corner. He wouldn’t be emotionless, mind you — he’d validate points that we made, empathize. But it always felt like he was trying to teach us to not let our emotions be the only thing that drove us. 

Dad dropped the bloodsucker facade for this fight. His eyes softened at the tears pooling in mine, and he bit on his cheek so hard it looked painful. “You’d just gone through hell, Jean, I didn’t want to make it any harder for you—”

“You can’t use that as an excuse,” I cut him off. “I asked you about Mom and Uncle Brent days ago. You promised no more lies and the next day you lied!”

“I didn’t lie,” He stated simply. “Your uncle died because of a gang war. That’s true.”

Oh my fucking god. I ground my teeth once I realized what he did, the bastard. “You used your stupid little perjury loopholes on me?”

“I didn’t think it was relevant—”

“It was, Dad, it was very relevant!” I scoffed. 

Dad leaned forward slightly. “And you would have wanted to know that? You would have wanted to know your Mom killed her brother by accident and it haunted her for the rest of her life? Your mom was on anti-psychotics because of the damage it did to her. She’d sob about it at least once a week. Augustine used that fact to get her to do her bidding, brainwashed your mother into being her perfect little sniper. Your mom deserved to be known for more than that, for better than that.”

“I would have thought that either way,” I insisted. “I would have forgiven almost anything she did, but you — you didn’t tell me, and now it feels like I can’t even trust you to give me the chance to choose.” I motioned towards the television. “You didn’t tell me what happened so that I could — so that I’d just know—”

“You needed to rest and heal before worrying about anything like that—”

I pointed to my broken arm slung in a cast, at the way the purple of its plastic almost faded away into the purple of my bruising. “That would have taken weeks! You know it’s something I should feel bad about, and that’s why you didn’t tell me. So I wouldn’t be ashamed of how I killed people.”

“You did not kill them.” Dad insisted, stressing every word. “It’s not your fault.”

“I caused the tsunami. I wasn’t in control, I didn’t think. That’s enough,” 

Dad grabbed my other hand when I went to drop it, and it took everything in me not to pull away. “You were…you were dying, Jean. When we found you in the Sound a few days after you disappeared, you were in this mass that left you barely warm enough to have a heartbeat. If it wasn’t for the Sound doing that, you would have died. You can’t blame yourself for not having control when you were about to die.”

“You don’t understand,” I finally decided, looking away. Back outside of that window, back to the skyline of Seattle. How many of them blamed me for what happened? 

Dad inhaled, and for a moment, stayed quiet. I knew he was probably just building another argument, something I wasn’t going to relate to at all. Something I wasn’t going to accept. Then he spoke, and what he said caught me off guard: “Do you know how many Akomish died because of Augustine?”

I looked up slowly, eyebrows raising. “Huh?” 

“When you went over the Seattle Uprising in school, did they mention how many Akomish died?” he repeated. I shook my head. “Forty-eight. One hundred and thirteen were interrogated, stuffed with fucking concrete, and almost half of them died.” He sighed. “When Augustine got there after your mom and Eugene broke out, I’d just got my first power. I had it for probably fifteen minutes, max. She thought the guy I got smoke from told me about her plan — the breakout and the DUP funding, all that. When I told her all he gave me was his power…she didn’t believe me. She thought I was covering for him, that I was making fun of her, and I…I didn’t show her I had powers. I could have tried. I could have done something, anything…but I froze. I watched her put concrete in Betty’s legs and I did nothing. She went through the reservation interrogating people, sticking concrete in them all, and by the time I came back with her power so I could undo it, almost fifty people had passed. I could have kept everyone from dying, and I didn’t.

“And you want to know something else? I’ve killed.” He stated plainly, admitting to the crime. “I’ve had to, to survive. To keep you safe, like in that alley. But I’ve also…I’ve done it because I wanted to. That anger your mom felt enough of to hunt down drug dealers? I’ve experienced it. I followed through with it.” 

I could feel the blood rush from my face. Dad’s killed people too? 

“I’ve been on both sides. At fault inadvertently, and directly involved. I’ve been in a middle ground where it had to happen. I understand. And I have enough experience to know that, what you did? Is not your fault. You weren’t out of control, you didn’t do it selfishly. You were dying and you did what you could. There’ll…there’ll be death in fights like this. Archangel is out hunting for blood, and fights like this sometimes can only be won with loss. But you cannot blame yourself for every loss that happens. You couldn’t prevent any of them, you shouldn’t have to carry that burden.” 

War isn’t won in battles, but bloodshed, Augustine had said. 

How much bloodshed? How many people would have to die so their graves could be the foundation of peace? How many more was I supposed to be able to stomach, to see as permissible? Why was there a fucking allowed amount in the first place? 

I stayed silent, sitting there for what felt like forever, picking at the cuticles on the hand connected to my broken arm. “Do you regret it?” I finally whispered, unable to look up.

“What?” 

“Killing someone,” I clarified, meeting his eyes. “It…do you regret it?”

Inhaling, he nodded. “Yeah, I do.” 

“Why?” I asked, still nearly silent. “Why did you…” 

Dad swallowed hard, and he seemed to be so far away as he thought about why. “I don’t want to justify what I did,” he started, “I can’t. It was wrong. I was on a warpath and didn’t care about anything but revenge. But I swear, I regret it. It’s haunted me since. It’s not something you can just forget, no matter how hard you try. And I regret not being honest with you. I shouldn’t have white lied my way out of explaining what happened with your mom, I’m sorry.”

I nodded, not opening my mouth to spit out some form of it’s okay because it definitely wasn’t. I didn’t feel like it was, at least. All I could keep thinking about were the casualties. 

Dad squeezed my hand gently, and said, “You should eat. They’re wanting to give you an antibiotic to prevent infections and you can’t have those without food,”

“Yeah,” I muttered, “Okay.”

Brent didn’t seem like he was holding onto his anger anymore, at least. Thank God — I wasn’t sure if I could take any more fighting. He wouldn’t really meet my eyes either though, even when we were facing each other as night came, trying to fall asleep. 

That was harder than it needed to be: sleeping in a hospital. Every noise seemed to carry further than possible through the halls; every machine beep, every patient’s cough, every nurse’s footsteps. My eyes may have been closed but it sure felt like my brain stayed awake through it all — which is why it was so easy to pick up on the hushed voices on the other side of the curtain. 

“—hell do you think it is?” Dad finished. 

“Don’t know,” Dr. Sims muttered back. 

“You said you’ve heard of this shit as a power before?”

“Tar? Yeah. Way back in the day, DARPA caught this woman that worked for the First Sons, some scientist. Had tar powers. She was one of the first Conduits they started experimenting on before the DUP became a separate thing from the DoD.”

Only about twenty percent of that made sense to me. 

I quietly rolled over to face the curtain that separated me from Dad and Dr. Sims, whose silhouettes were cast against the blue wall from the light of the bathroom. Dad was holding up a long tube of something, Dr. Sims standing across from him, arms crossed. 

“DARPA? Like, the government?” Dad asked. 

Dr. Sims’ shadow nodded. “Yeah. Turns out, they were funding the First Sons, probably the whole reason Empire City happened in the first place. The tar had mind-control abilities, and they were using it for some sort of revival of the MK-ULTRA project. Killed her over a whistleblower before the media could investigate and swept it all under the rug,”

“Jesus,” Dad breathed out. 

“You’ve missed a lot the past sixteen years,” Dr. Sims laughed mirthlessly under his breath. “There’s a lot of shit the public doesn’t know. The First Sons even used this stuff to get people to attack MacGrath during the Quarantine. Made people sick too,”

Dad’s hand lowered. “And this stuff’s in my daughter? Is that why she won’t heal?”

“That’s the thing,” Dr. Sims took the tube back. “I don’t know if it’s the same, or some mutated version from the experiments, or what. I know nothing about this stuff at all.”

Dad’s next breath was shaky. “Fuck,” his head shook. “I’m scared, man. This is Abbs all over again.”

“You don’t know that, D—”

“She stopped healing first.” Dad interrupted — almost painfully. “You remember! The healing went first, and then the speed, and then the fuckin’—” he cut off when his voice caught. “I thought there was something wrong with her. I thought something about her flipped. If the same thing’s happening to Jean? That — it means it might not have been a coincidence.”

“You think it might run in the family?” 

“I don’t know.” Dad tilted his head back slightly, like he was trying to keep bile from appearing. “I don’t know if I think it’s hereditary, or if…if someone maybe did something to Abbs.”

“Del, you don’t know if that’s—“

Dad’s hand swung wildly in my direction. “My kid’s got forty-six stitches! Her arm’s broken! Only other time I’ve seen a Conduit like this is when Abbs’ c-section scar got infected. We don’t get infections, we don’t get stitches. I don’t know if it’s something hereditary, or because of that shit, but I don’t like that it’s happening again.”

I blinked out of my sleep then. Mom…stopped healing, too? That was where her sickness started?

Dr. Sims hummed gently. “I’m worried too, but remember the exact same thing is happening to those old DUP agents.”

“Yeah — ‘cause they’re forced Conduits! Jean’s prime—”

“We can’t make any assumptions until we know more about what’s going on.”

Dad’s hands came up to run through his hair, and I could hear him sigh deeply. “So then what do we do?”

“I could run a microarray on her, see if it’s genetic. I’d want Brent’s as a base sample too.”

“And if it’s not that?” Dad demanded.

Dr. Sims hesitated for a moment. “I…know someone that could help us,” he began. “Someone that’s seen this stuff in action. Might have some connections, too. But…” he drew off. “You’re not gonna like it.”

The shadow of Dad’s head cocked to the side in curiosity, and they were silent for a full ten seconds before Dad’s head snapped straight again and he said, “No. Absolutely not.”

“Del, listen—”

“Not happening. Do you not remember last time?”

“That was almost eighteen years ago—”

“And it hasn’t been long enough! You weren’t there, man. He’s weird! I got this speech that didn’t make sense and he — the fucker wouldn’t even meet me after everything—”

“You’re still holding on to that?”

“He’s not even a Conduit!” Dad hissed on a whisper that was bordering a regular voice. The closest he could get to yelling. “He has no business being involved is this—”

“He is the closest we will ever get to talking to Cole MacGrath,” Dr. Sims interrupted. His silhouette raised the tube and shook it at Dad slightly. “You wanna know what this is? You wanna help Jean? He’s the only one that can help. Him, or the government — and you and I both know how that would go.”

Dad’s hands came up, and while I couldn’t really tell what he was doing, I knew he was probably pressing his palms into his eyes like he always did when he was frustrated. But then his head raised and looked my way, and my breath froze. Did he know I was eavesdropping? 

No, he didn’t. Looking towards where I was seemed to be the last cannonball that broke down the wall of his objection, because he sighed, entirely complicit and absolutely unwillingly, “Fine. Okay. How do we get in contact with him? I haven’t talked to him since that shit with Wolfe,”

“We’ve got a system. He likes to stay off the radar, but he’s not too hard to find.” Dr. Sims tucked the tube away in his pocket, saying “Take out your phone,” while doing so.

Dad did, the click of him unlocking it echoing off of the sterile walls. “Okay, now what?” 

Dr. Sims held out his hand, and that twinkling sound that always accompanied his power came back. It wasn’t like Dad’s; Dad’s had the underlying tone of TV static, where Dr. Sims’ almost sounded like what I imagined wizard magic would sound like. Their side of the curtain lit up, making me squint in discomfort at the sudden light change, and by the time the sound ended and the brightness dimmed, Dad was in the middle of cursing. “Eugene — fuck — I didn’t mean now—”

“I can only catch his signal when I concentrate on it,” Dr. Sims shrugged. “Otherwise it’s scrambled.”

“Yeah, okay, but I’d have liked to have slept before dealing with him,” Dad grumbled, the hand holding his phone coming up to his ear. I could barely hear the ringing that came from the receiver; it sang once, twice, and then was picked up, Dad sighing as the voice on the other side answered. 

“Zeke Dunbar?” Dad asked. “This is Delsin Rowe.” His body turned slightly in place so he could look where he knew I was, a final reminder of why he needed to call. “I need your help.”

[radramblog]

Retro Games WTB

So for reference, this and the last two posts were written on the same night. We went from serious discussion about sensitive and graphic material in media, to silliness about shooty mans, to this. The thing is, I’m going away on a weekend camping trip (Melbourne got delayed again but at least getting to go on this is a silver lining?), and when this post goes up (assuming I figure out how to schedule it right) is the one day where I’m just never at home. The Saturday of a weekend trip. I don’t know if the place is going to have cell signal, and I’m not letting that of all things get in the way of me posting more bullshit.

It’s been a long night.

I was originally going to do, like, a tierlist thing, but staring at the list of these was just depressing. Motherfuckers put Homestuck in the Video Games section multiple times, and I had to stare at the fact that someone went out of their way to make a FNAF shipping tier list. And lots of people played it. Fuck, man.

I don’t know if me talking about a bunch of games I want to buy is actually more interesting, but I’ll be damned if I can’t do that easily and for a lot of words. Plus, it’ll force me to actually come up with a complete list.

(editors note this is ridiculously absurdly long and it has no images it’s just 2.5K words of jack shit and me tiredly trying to make jokes about old games you probably haven’t heard of you’ve been waaaarned)

N64

The prospect of collecting all the N64 games I want is somewhat daunting, especially considering my region-based issues. But I’ve made some solid progress since that one time I talked about my collection (and I cannot be fucked dragging that post up at the moment). I’ve acquired Banjo-Kazooie and a Kirby 64 cart that I sure didn’t know was coming in fucking box.

Anyway. I’d like to pick up Smash 64 at some point, if only for the novelty of it. I’ve played it, like, once? And that was a very long time ago, the first time I ever played an N64 (possibly the only time I even touched a controller before I bought my own), and I wasn’t as mediocre to functional at Smash as I am now. 64 is kind of a whole different animal, though- no competitively viable maps by modern standards and the engine is fucky- every character combos so well that they run 5-stock matches instead of 3.

(From this point on, I’m literally looking at a Wikipedia list of games and picking ones to comment on, so it’s alphabetical)

Banjo-Tooie would be nice, I suppose, but I’ve barely played the first one- let’s maybe do that before I start thinking sequels. I didn’t realise until I actually picked up the game that Kazooie is like, a massive asshole? Extremely rude? Apparently that’s their character trait and I just didn’t know. Banjo seems like such a cool bloke, why does he hang out with them?

Even though I’d never be able to play it, the Australian version of Beetle Adventure Racing actually replaces the titular cars with Holdens, which is fucking hilarious and I need to see it.

I’ve heard a lot about Conker’s Bad Fur Day, that it’s basically Banjo/DK but M rated. I…don’t imagine it’s aged particularly well. Man, remember when he showed up for Project Spark, though? Yeah, me neither.

Donkey Kong 64 is another classic, and I’m sure it’s really good. I have managed to pick up an Expansion Pak, so there’s half the cost of it gone, too. I’ve never actually finished any of the Country games, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t play like one, so. I also never watched the HBomberguy charity marathon, so I am pure and unspoiled as to the grisly details of this jungle bash.

On the one hand, Goldeneye is arguably one of the most iconic FPS games of all time. On the other, it’s not aged particularly well, and I don’t have a cadre of people to hang around being nostalgic for it, because we’re all either younger than this game or barely out-age it. I hope someone reading this feels old now. (sorry)

Even as a Pokemon fanatic, I’m not buying Hey You, Pikachu. That game barely worked with people in the USA, imagine that shitty microphone trying to decipher my accent on fucking N64 hardware. Also it’s pretty lame even if you can get it to work, so.

Majora’s Mask is currently my White Whale, because I want nothing more than to play that game. I’ve heard so much, it sounds and looks so fucking incredible, and as I said I have the Expansion Pak now so I can actually run it. One day, man, one day. Once again I should probably finish Ocarina of Time first, but like, I know I’m going to play this one, so.

I guess Mario Kart 64 would be worth picking up, apparently it’s one of the better ones. I reckon if people showed up to play fucking Beetle Adventure Racing before knowing the game was actually really good, they’ll show up for Mario Kart. I’d rather buy 64 than 8, frankly.

I could barely get any interest in my bootleg-ass copy of Mario Party 3, I’m not going to spend stupid money on the other ones.

Oh, apparently Mega Man Legends came out on the 64 as well? I thought that was just on the Playstation. I mean, people really seem to like that sub-series, but then people also liked Star Force, so I don’t know if I can trust the Mega Man fandom on anything. (MMBN legacy collection when, Capcom)

Yo so there was a Neon Genesis Evangelion game for the N64, and apparently it’s a fighting game? Japan-only, of course, but my console can run those anyway. And like, that sounds funny and cool, I’ll punch Sachiel to death, why the fuck not? Who needs a progressive knife. Congratulations joke.

God Paper Mario is so fucking expensive god damnit

Perfect Dark rounds out the trio of “hey I have the expansion pak now”, but I know substantially less about it. So, maybe?

The Pokemon games I’m missing (and care about) are Snap, Puzzle League, and Stadium 2. I’ll consider Snap if I can find a cheap copy, as I know it’s pretty limited (and the new one just came out), Puzzle League is probably meh, and Stadium 2 sounds fun but I’d need to then buy a GSC cart to get the most out of it and they aren’t cheap. Unless I get a Japanese one, but apparently, they’re only compatible with Japanese Stadium 2 (er, Stadium GS), so I’d have to double down on illegibility.

Oh fuck, right, Star Fox. Man I thought I was going to get away with just talking about Star Wars here (I’ve already got the good ones), but I forgot about fuckin Star Fox 64, aka The Good One. Shit I gotta get that don’t I? Fuck me. At least searching for one will be slightly easier because the PAL version has a different name.

Oh, and Yoshi’s Story looks like a trip and I don’t know if that’s a good thing. Like, this just looks worse than Yoshi’s Island if I’m being honest.

 GBA

I haven’t actually talked about by GBA collection on here have I? TL;DR- it’s a console I’m very nostalgic for, but my collection is lacking because all the carts in Malaysia were bootlegs.

Jesus there’s so many more GBA games than N64 ones. Like, in general, not just on this list.

Advance Wars is a solid maybe, because the carts are super fucking expensive, I’ve never played the series, and the remaster is coming soon. But apparently they’re good? Big shrug energy.

Wow, they made two whole Banjo games for the GBA. Both of these look like shit, though, so fuck it. No wonder I never hear anyone talk about them.

Boktai is an interesting series I’d like to maybe give a shot. It’s a JRPG made by fucking Hideo Kojima, where the cartridge had a light sensor in it to encourage you to play outside by buffing the main character. Which was an interesting choice on the notably not backlit GBA. It also has crossover stuff with something we’ll get into later.

I’ve played Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow to death, and as a result I’d love to pick up a copy of it’s GBA prequel, Aria of Sorrow- it’s apparently almost just as good. I’ve not heard much about the other two GBA Castlevanias, but they’re apparently similarly excellent- a stark comparison to the mediocre to bad N64 ones.

If someone buys me a cartridge of Crazy Frog Racer I will play it and that is a fucking promise.

There are like three whole Fire Emblem games on the GBA, though only two came out in English. I actually have a bootleg of one of them. It’s another one of those ones that are unreasonably expensive because it didn’t sell well and they didn’t make that many as a result, though. So probably not worth getting a real one unless I fall super head over heels for the series- I don’t see that happening soon.

Oh right, Golden Sun. Another JRPG franchise for the GBA. There were a lot of those, huh? Anyway there’s like no way this guy is getting into Smash, don’t get your hopes up.

Harvest Moon is basically Stardew Valley, but older. Two games of it came out on the GBA, and I’m probably not about to commit to buying one of those rather than Stardew. And that game has yet to successfully appeal to me, soooooooo

I have a bootleg of Kirby and the Amazing Mirror, and that’s one of the ones where it probably doesn’t matter at all that it’s a bootleg, so I’m satisfied with it. Don’t have Nightmare in Dream Land, which I’ve played before on emulator and wouldn’t mind retrying, so maybe. I’ve never been massive on remakes if the original is viable, but I don’t have an NES so I’m sure not buying Kirby’s Adventure.

There are two Zelda games on GBA- a port of A Link to the Past which I have, and Minish Cap which I don’t. Minish Cap is very expensive!!! Aah!!!

Yo they ported The Lost Vikings to GBA? Wack. I guess Blizzard gets a shoe in this console’s door, then.

Yeah okay so there are like a million Mario games here, huh. Superstar Saga was the first Mario and Luigi game, and the one of those I’ve played (Partners in Time) was good enough that I’d bite for the original. Or I’d just go buy Bowser’s Inside Story. Mario Kart and Golf on the GBA don’t appeal super hard, and I’ve played Mario Pinball Land (long before that Alpharad Deluxe series), to the point where I don’t feel the need to actually buy it.

Speaking of Alpharad, I played Mario Party Advance on one of my Malaysian Bootlegs long, long before he made that video reminding people it existed. That game actually kind of fucks, for what it’s worth, and since my copy can’t save, I’d consider buying a real one. Assuming that Alpha’s video didn’t lead to a mass buyout or price spike.

Okay, so Mega Man Battle Network is kind of the big one on this list- definitely the White Whale so far, since to my understanding the series had extremely limited release in Australia. I do have a Japanese copy of 4 (Blue Moon) that I picked up because it was like 5 bucks, but A. 4 is godawful relative to the others and B. it’s a JRPG and I can’t read Japanese. But I would Do Things to get copies of 2, 3, or 6. Not so much 1 (because it’s not great), or 5 because I’ve nearly 100%’d the DS version on my flashcart.

Seriously, I’ve considered writing multiple blog posts on this series, I think it’s a super underrated gem. It’s an eSport on GBA for fucks sake! It’s also the series that crossed over with Boktai from earlier- apparently Kojima’s kid was a huge fan, so he got in touch to get some cross-promo content going. Funny how that works.

It’s not like they’re ever going to release Mother 3 anyway. Y’all aren’t even going to let me pay for this game, so you can’t complain if I buy a Chinese bootleg with the fan translation on it. I paid five whole bucks, and if they released it in English for real, I’d easily drop more on it. It’s a 10/10 game.

Oh alright, there’s Pokemon. I’m actually 4/7 on the GBA Pokemon games, which is pretty good considering the price just keeps going up and up. I’ve actually considered making a Living Dex solely in Gen 3- however that would either require all the ones I don’t have (save Pinball) a Gamecube with Colosseum/XD (which I have thought about), or maybe both. A long-term project, for sure, but one I’d enjoy doing.

Apparently the Sonic GBA games are pretty good, save for the infamous remake of the first Sonic game- Sonic Genesis. That is, however, the only one of them I’ve actually played. And for a long time was the only Sonic game I’d ever played. Great first impression, huh? The Marble Zone OST unironically slaps, though.

Yeah okay so there’s like over a hundred games still on this list and I care about, like, none of them. Except maybe some of the Wario games and Yu-Gi-Oh games- and I know some of the latter are complete and utter garbage. Like, I’ve played The Sacred Cards, and that game is genuine shite. I’ve still only played one Yu-Gi-Oh game I’ve liked.

I guess I can close off this wall of text by saying I want to get a GBA flashcart so I can run romhacks on console, but there’s a bunch of different types and it doesn’t seem like anyone can agree on which one is the best, so I guess I’m in limbo a bit on that one. Still, it’s worth a look at some point- I’ve gotten so much mileage out of my DS one after all.

And that’s a full-ass list. Perhaps a little daunting, but something like this is a long-term project, and there’s plenty of time to adjust, or make trades rather than buy, et cetera. I don’t ever expect to like, complete a collection, but I’m happy getting things bit by bit.

Anyway it’s like 2AM now I need to be up in 5 hours oops if I’m late then sorry james lmao except you won’t possibly be able to read this until Saturday and it’ll be too late then ha HA

[crystalelemental]

USUM Did Bad - Lillie’s Family

Ooooh god.  Okay.  I wasn't originally going to bother.  I feel like other people have said it better, and I got my complaining out.  But I've apparently made this into a series of articles and I've referenced this in every single one, so fine, let's talk about the biggest blunder in Pokemon game history: Lillie's family, and the absolute removal of their characters from USUM.

MOHN Let's talk backstory.  In Sun/Moon, through files you find, you learn that Mohn is a professor who studied the ultra wormholes, but went missing.  Based on appearance and implication, everyone figured out Mohn is Lusamine's husband. His disappearance is oft cited by defenders of Lusamine's actions as the reason she is this way.  Personally, I agree.  I think Lusamine's always been controlling, but Mohn's disappearance was something she couldn't control, and it resulted in her losing the one she loved.  People talk about Nihilego's toxins, and Mohn's loss as causes, but they're really not.  It's catalysts at best.  Lusamine was always set to be this controlling.  Mohn's disappearance just spiked the behavior to the point things got bad.  Even Gladion confirms, she was better when he was around, but it got rough when he vanished.  Given how Mohn is as a person, I don't think he'd stay with someone who was always an abusive level of controlling.  More than likely, she was controlling, but able to keep that in check. That's the impression I always got.

Now, in USUM, Mohn comes back!  For a short scene in the post-game, in which Lusamine talks with him, and lets him leave without a word because "he seems happy."  Excellent writing, USUM, great job.  The woman loses her husband, spirals out of control, and we're just going to brush that all aside.  Get used to the term "brushed it aside," by the way, because it happens a lot with this game.

LUSAMINE So with the history out of the way, let's talk Lusamine.  Because I can't explain how bad Gladion and Lillie got it until we've talked about Lusamine.  Lusamine...is awesome.  I love her as a villain.  My main complaint in Sun/Moon, however, was that her entire character, through implication, seemed to hinge on Mohn's disappearance.  I don't blame people who say Mohn is the main cause of Lusamine's actions.  The game kinda frames it that way.  All we ever get from Gladion is that Lusamine seemed okay prior to their dad's disappearance.  Certainly implies he's a cause.  What we never got was what she was like before.  Based on her actions, I think it's safe to say that she was likely always fairly controlling, just not to the intense degree we see in Sun/Moon.  In those games, she's awful.  Lillie dresses only the way she wants, she manipulates Guzma into following her despite him having nothing to gain, and she preserves her Pokemon in ice to keep them with her forever, probably against their wishes.  She is all about control and manipulation, and it likely stems from both her being that way, and from a heavy sense of loss.  I never minded that Mohn was a catalyst.  I minded that it was implied he was the ONLY reason she was like this.   Fear of loss is a powerful motivator, and for that to be expressed as the reason she manipulates and controls brings in a sense of her being damaged, and having the potential for a redemption arc.  Implying that her husband disappeared and I dunno man, she just went crazy, implies that she has little agency as a character, and Mohn's return would be a simplistic fix.

Which was EXACTLY what I feared would happen.  I saw the spoiler that Mohn came back to Aether, and we all knew they'd try making Lusamine good in the upcoming games as some ridiculous twist.  I expected it to be the worst possible confirmation. Instead, they somehow did something WORSE.  Oh, they talk about Mohn disappearing as a reason for her actions.  But that's explicitly stated more than implicitly felt.  At no point is there any dialogue or action that implies her reason for seeking control is to keep things safe.   Instead, they deviate. Now she wants to stop Necrozma.  Best case scenario, it's to help people. Worst case scenario, it's to add to her collection she still has.  Phyco implies she's the worst case scenario, stating that it's arrogant of her to attempt solving all their problems on her own, but again, that's the only line of dialogue to that effect. Everything else implies that she was being selfless, because they next time we see her, she got beat by Necrozma, you take off to combat it, and in the time you were gone Lillie tells you she talked with Lusamine and they're fine now.  No redemption arc, no struggle, just an off-screen brushing aside of the entire conflict of the previous game.

It hurts Lillie and Gladion substantially, but it hurts Lusamine as a character as well.  What could have potentially been an explanation to her actions and a push toward redemption through this whole "working together" undertone they had going, instead gets brushed aside in favor of a quick and tidy resolution in which no one has to talk about the hard stuff.  It's like they started with the ending premise that Lusamine was going to be a good guy, and someone mentioned "Hey, didn't we make her kinda really abusive to her kids?"  And instead of backpedaling and deciding whether this was a good idea or not, or hell, going forward but acknowledging how hard it would be, they decided "that's fine, we'll just say they talked it out and it's all good."

YOU. CANNOT. DO. THAT.  It invalidates EVERYTHING.  Not just the suffering that Lillie and Gladion went through, but any and all meaning for Lusamine's redemption.  Let's be real here: does anyone truly believe that USUM Lusamine is not still an awful, horrific person?  She kept her frozen Pokemon.  When Lillie tries to confront her and talk her down, Lusamine still snaps and tells her she has no children because they dared to disobey her.  Gladion is still terrified the entire time they go through Aether to save Lillie.  SHE STILL HAS HER FROZEN POKEMON COLLECTION.  Lusamine wasn't redeemed at all.  Her actions are still terrible, and nothing was shown to demonstrate that she's gotten any better.  We're just told she did.

I know people who were entirely against any redemption arc for Lusamine.  I can understand this, but I myself am not against it.  I think there's always a way to demonstrate a good turn from evil, but it's a process.  It takes time, it takes effort, and there's a reason that so many redemption arcs end in death.  It is incredibly hard to do redemption, and it gets harder the more villainous you've made a character.  Granted, this seems to apply more to relational villainy, as someone who, say, abuses their kid is seen as much less redeemable than someone who just wanted to unmake reality because of their ennui.  But still, it can be done.  The important thing to remember when deciding to redeem your villain, however, is to make sure that you're showing how difficult it is.  That you're demonstrating how hard it would be to mend relationships, or break old habits, or even just acknowledge what you did was wrong.  When you do that, it can be a powerful story.  When you decide instead to go "They're a good guy now, just make them talk it out off-screen," you invalidate that process, demean the suffering of the victims of their actions, and insult the reader by expecting them to just go along with this paper-thin facade.  And you cannot impress me with this.

GLADION Remember when Gladion's power-seeking attitude was because he had immense guilt over running away from his problems instead of facing them head-on and leaving his kid sister in the hands of his abusive mother to fend for herself?  Yeah, neither does USUM.  Because now, Gladion did all this because he wanted to be strong enough to fight the cool guy Necrozma (who is super cool, did you know?) so his mom wouldn't have to.

Honestly, do I even need to keep talking?  Re-read that paragraph.  Lusamine is virtually unchanged in any significant way, they just tell you things are different. And Gladion, who acted terrified the whole way through Aether?  Yeah, I guess that was just nerves about fighting Necrozma or something?  Probably not important.  Certainly not related to any psychological scarring brought about from years of abuse or the immense guilt for not being able to help his sister out of the situation too.   Definitely not.

His character is so set aside now.  He doesn't DO anything!  And his relationship with Lusamine, for some reason, is just fine.  The entire time they interact, it's fine.  He's concerned about her safety.  Okay, fine.  Maybe if you want to demonstrate the lasting impact of the emotional abuse, we can show that he's willing to fight Necrozma in her place because she's somehow manipulated into it.  Oh wait, no, she's insisting she'll do it herself and calling him a good kid, literally seconds after shouting at Lillie that she has no children.  Seriously, does no one else hate the whiplash of this scene?  We went from Lillie trying desperately to talk her mother into listening and being told that she wasn't Lusamine's child anymore, to a scene where she's calling both of them good kids and wishing they would just let her handle this so they're okay.  These are back to back scenes!  Did you even think?  Just remove the first one if you wanted to go the route of the second!  This is not that hard!

LILLIE Okay, deep breaths...

Lillie is a fan favorite, and it is super easy to see why.  So easy, in fact, that most people would be surprised if someone said they didn't like Lillie.  So easy, that the only way to not understand why Lillie was such a relatable and well-loved character, would be to have your eyes closed shut, head stuck in the sand, shouting "lalala, can't hear you!" while making loud farting noises with your butt. Which must've been what the writing staff did, because good GOD.

For those uncertain: Lillie is so well-liked because she is a character caught in a situation where her mother is emotionally abusive and controlling of her every action.  In an act of empathy and desperation, she defies her mother to save Nebby's life, and is teleported to a place she's wholly unfamiliar with, scared and alone, until Professor Burnet takes her in. She spends all her time out in the world amazed at what it's like, but also fearful of everyone she encounters until they've proven they're a friend.  In the end, she grows enough as a person to change the appearance her mother crafted for her, and confronts her mother by calling out her actions as awful.  She reaches a place where she can reflect on all that's happened and say "I don't deserve this," and pushes back against unjust actions.  That is not a narrative often seen, and to have the message that victims don't deserve this treatment and that people are not something to be controlled by another, is incredible.  Lillie, as the main character of this story, shines beautifully.  For those who are good with a redemption for Lusamine, the end of this confrontation, where Lillie is still willing to save her mother's life and help her recover, only makes her more likeable.  She's able to state that what Lusamine has done is not okay, but is still willing to make an attempt to help her. It's an implied beginning to a redemption arc, and frankly, if you're gonna go that direction, that's what you need to do.  Imply.  The time it would take, and the effort it would take, cannot be demonstrated all within this game.  But you could try.  Instead, they chose a reasonable sendoff, with the implication of mending the damage, rather than trying to force a quick resolution.

Then USUM shows up and is like "That's for idiots, watch this!" and tosses it all aside.  Lillie is virtually removed from this game.  The entirety of her character arc following the Aether invasion?  Gone.  She still gets her change of clothes, and still has the scene on the bridge of her running forward, but she doesn't confront her mother, she doesn't get her scene with you on Exeggutor Island, and she doesn't even get time with Nebby.  What she does get is an off-screen resolution, where she tells the player all that she needed to do was talk to her mom and it was fine.

I've been trying my best to cut back on swearing, but BULLSHIT.  Not only is that insufficient to mend what's been done, but do you know what Lillie attempted to do during the Aether invasion? TALK TO LUSAMINE.  She was actively trying to get her mother to stop and consider her actions, and Lusamine told her that she had no children because they won't do as she says.  Did they just forget?  How else do you explain the fact that they kept the scene of Lillie talking to Lusamine and being shut down, but then turn around and insist that talking solved their problems?  It's ridiculous.  And more than any other character, it hurts Lillie.  Her entire character got removed.   Oh, she's still there, but like most of them, she's a caricature.  She exists for no purpose now.  We've taken the focus off of Lillie's history and the damaging family dynamic for her and Gladion, and instead we've replaced it with...what, exactly?  What does Lillie still have going for her?  She's cute?  She doesn't have any agency.  And that's the entire issue.

This whole family was taken out of the equation.  They have virtually no bearing on the plot, barring Lusamine's decision to awaken Necrozma for some reason. And even then, her justification for doing so is conflicting within the scene it's established, and the justification they want us to believe isn't consistent with her actions.  She's just as quickly removed after waking up Necrozma, so there's nothing to build on after that either.   Gladion's fear of confronting his mother is completely unjustified with their new setup, and his actions of running away and getting stronger to confront Necrozma doesn't even make sense given his age at the time of leaving, and when the Ultra Recon Squad showed up.  And Lillie. Poor Lillie was just removed from every poignant scene she had, and was given an immediate off-screen resolution to everything she experienced.  The story is disjointed, the characters inconsistent, and this entire family rendered meaningless within their own game, all in favor of focusing on a new Strawman Group and the lame Ultra Necrozma fight.

CONCLUSION USUM is known to be the last handheld game.  "Steve, the Switch is-" No.  It is not.  Pokemon is leaving handhelds, and this is straight-up their sendoff. They've confirmed it.  And looking at it as that sendoff, as the beautiful wrap-up of 22 years of games, I am horrified.  We've made so much growth over the years. We went from a very basic game with virtually no plot or characterization, to full-blown stories about ethical treatment of animals, or how people handle abuse, or even just exploring the human condition.  But at the end, at our cap-off, what do we get?  Characters and story brushed aside in favor of what they think is a really cool and hard final battle with a big glowy dragon thing, and a post-game story focused on the Gen 1 team again.  You could've done so much to be a send-off.  You could've shown so much of your growth and highlighted so many things you've developed.  And instead, you went back to nostalgia pandering and flashy battles devoid of meaning.  If this is sincerely the best cap-off you could produce, and is meant to be the demonstration of you moving into the future console, then for the first time in 22 years, I am inclined to agree with genwunners and say that Pokemon is dying or dead.  Because this?   Shameful. Pathetic.  Inexcusable.  I honestly feel like you didn't even try.  If this is the level of quality we can expect from here on out, then we've hit a point where old fans are dissatisfied because they cannot be satisfied, and newer fans are dissatisfied

[afriendlyirin]

Yo-Kai Watch 1 review

Reposting this because I ran afoul of the link bug. @staff​ Fix your website.

Tumblr is a hellsite and I do not respond to comments here. Go to the blog post at Dragon Quill dot net if you want to comment.

I recently tried out the first Yo-Kai Watch game, out of curiosity for what the rest of the mons scene is doing.

My most important takeaway is that anyone who says Yo-Kai Watch is trying to copy or replace Pokemon has clearly not only never played the game but never played any other mons game either and probably thinks Pokemon has a copyright on the genre. The two franchises share a target audience, but otherwise they could not be more different. Yokai talk and are presented as distinct characters, yokai cannot be commanded, and most shockingly of all, the protagonist isn't silent!

As for the game itself, it is a godawful grindy mess that can barely be called a game. But it has some interesting ideas, and I enjoyed the creature designs.

There is basically no gameplay in this game. Yokai fight automatically according to a basic AI with no input from you, so you can quite literally win battles by doing nothing. (There is even a speed-up button to facilitate this.) The only actions you can take are to use items, cure their status ailments through an action-command minigame, activate their supermoves, and swap out your active and reserve yokai. However, the game is so easy that you'll rarely have to do any of that outside of boss fights. Supermoves can basically clear a regular encounter in one use, but regular attacks will usually hand you victory pretty quick too.

The befriending mechanics are even worse. I did not think they could make Pokemon's mechanics worse, but wow, after playing this I am amazed at how much I took for granted.

So, because yokai get to be treated like people, you don't recruit them by shoving them in capsules until they're too tired to break out. Instead, they have a random chance of approaching you after a battle and saying they like the cut of your jib, so they'll agree to be summoned by you any time you need them. This is very cute and raises far fewer questions than Pokemon's version. It is also absolutely terrible as a gameplay mechanic. You can do exactly three things to improve your chances: Throw food at them during the battle, use a yokai with a special ability that makes befriending more likely, and, very rarely, if the battle drags out long enough, you might get a befriending bonus as one of many possible random drops from an event that occurs in the middle of battle. You can only feed a yokai once per battle, you will only know if you've befriended them after the battle is over, and you can only befriend one yokai per battle (out of a possible three). There is absolutely nothing you can do to actively pursue befriending; there is no action you can take in battle that makes it easier like Pokemon's status effects, you cannot keep burning items to increase your chances, you can't even drag the battle out because yokai will attack automatically. To make this even worse, you can't even easily farm encounters like you can in Pokemon, as yokai only appear in specific spots and only one can appear there at a time (if one appears at all!). If you fail to befriend one yokai, you may not encounter it again for some time. (This was the case for me with Happierre, who the game seems to expect you to get quite early, but I never could because he only appears in one very tiny location and if you whiff it, good luck finding him again. Ugh.)

The yokaidex also has really baffling organization. Instead of being numbered by order of encounter like in Pokemon, each type of yokai has its own separate section of the list, and they're ordered seemingly arbitrarily. Your starting yokai is smack dab in the middle of the list, and I don't believe it's possible to encounter entry #1 until the second area. Yokai are also grouped by "family" like in Pokemon, except that the evolution mechanics here are extremely bizarre and inconsistent; usually you have to fuse two specific yokai (or sometimes, a yokai and an extremely rare item you may never even know exists cuz random drops lol), except very rarely you can just level them, not that the game tells you which is which. The game in fact encourages you to constantly replace your team because yokai all have tiered power levels like in Shin Megami Tensei, so you have no reason to keep an outdated yokai in your party long enough for them to evolve through level in the first place. It's just an absolute mess. What was the logic behind this, seriously?

To add insult to injury, they apparently looked at event pokemon and said, "You know what our mons game needs? More of those." There are an absurd number of yokai who can only be obtained through extremely rare in-game events and gacha machine results, and an even larger number who can only be encountered in the postgame. Seriously, I finished the game without even seeing more than half the total yokai. Why??? I genuinely could not believe the final boss was really the end of the game, just because I had barely scratched the surface of the dex.

So yeah. As an RPG, this was a huge disappointment, and as a collection game, it was a constant exercise in frustration and futility. I know Pokemon has lots of room for improvement, but wow, it's like they surgically removed everything it managed to do right.

As for the plot, it's more involved than most Pokemon games, but only just. Every quest is: Something happens that is obviously yokai mischief. "I know this is crazy, but hear me out: Could this incredibly weird and abnormal thing happening in a game called Yo-Kai Watch be happening... because of yokai???" says Exposition Fairy. You walk five steps/talk to someone who is very obviously possessed. "Aha, my Yokai Senses are tingling! A yokai is doing a bad thing!" says Exposition Fairy. "Oh, no, that's bad, we need to stop them!" says Generic Video Game Protagonist. And then you beat the yokai until they stop doing bad things. Repeat times 100.

Seriously, every single freaking time the protagonists are COMPLETELY SHOCKED that a yokai is once again the reason this NPC is literally covered in evil purple smoke because what is subtlety. Why do fantasy stories do this. Why. Stop wasting my time.

And yes, there is an uncomfortable undercurrent of "the spooky goblin man made me do it". Literally the tutorial quest is the protagonist's parents having a fight, and you solve it by beating up the "makes couples fight" yokai that's taken up residence in your living room. It's... okay for a simple kids' story, I guess, and maybe it comes across differently in a Japanese context, but yikes.

Then all of a sudden at the very end you learn that the Yokai Evil Chancellor, who evilly took over after the Good and Noble Yokai King died, is responsible for all the yokai acting up, so you go into the yokai world and beat him up to the tune of a Power of Friendship Speech™ and I could not care less because I was introduced to the guy five minutes ago. So we can't even expect RPGs to have moderately better writing than action games anymore.

They also make the very confusing decision to have a voiced protagonist, despite not giving the protagonist any personality or backstory or agency or anything that would justify giving him a voice in the first place. He is a completely ordinary kid with a completely generic protagonist personality. He either says exactly what I was thinking, in which case I'm just annoyed I have to read through redundant dialogue, or he says something very slightly different, in which case I'm jarred out of the experience because SCREW YOU GAME YOU DON'T SPEAK FOR ME. They don't even have a practical reason for it, because they have an exposition fairy! I thought the entire point of exposition fairies is to provide information a silent protagonist can't, but instead it just means every cutscene takes twice as long because I have to sit through my avatar metalgearing everything the exposition fairy says.

I wonder if they originally were intending to go with a silent protagonist, but changed it at some point for... some reason?

The silver lining here is the yokai themselves. It is... really the only redeeming feature. The yokai all have absolutely delightful designs, and because they don't have to be ostensibly bound by real ecology, they can go completely wild without it feeling out of place. Thanks to the fact they talk and are treated like real characters, I'm not at all bothered by how many of them are human-like, and nor do we have to ask the question of where they're getting their tools and accessories. But the animal yokai are wonderful as well, and despite how varied the designs are they all felt like they had a clear, consistent aesthetic. I really enjoyed discovering new yokai and analyzing all the little details in them.

And yes, I thought the punny names were hilarious. Because the overall tone is less serious than Pokemon, they can have so much more fun with them without it feeling like breaking character. I particularly got a chuckle out of "Heeheel" and "Fishpicable" -- the fish yokai in general were on-point.

Additionally, though the actual plots of the quests are deep as puddles, I did enjoy how many of them used yokai in such varied ways. In addition to stopping yokai who are influencing people to behave badly, there are also quests where you need to bring in a yokai to influence someone positively, such as giving someone the motivation to do something they're apprehensive about or discouraging someone from an unhealthy obsession. Several quests even involve using a yokai you had to stop in another quest. There's even one where you use a yokai to influence someone, only for them to take it too far, requiring you to stop the yokai you summoned in order to put things back to normal. It certainly raises some interesting ethical questions that the game could have acknowledged a bit more than just in that one quest, but overall I thought it was a clever use of the concept and did an excellent job of reinforcing that yokai aren't just a purely negative force, but a part of nature we can coexist with.

So many of the mechanics I complained about really do make sense from a lore perspective -- the game completely avoids the ethical quandaries raised by Pokemon, and I never at any point felt like I was exploiting my yokai partners or doing anything selfish, even despite the same "gotta catch 'em all" element. Yokai explicitly consent to joining your team; you recruit them by paying attention to what foods they like and showing you are willing to make a real sacrifice to provide for them; and there's none of that stasis capsule nonsense either, yokai friends basically give you the equivalent of a calling card and are only summoned when you need them. (You can actually talk to several recruitable yokai who have fixed hangout spots in the city, which I liked.) Similarly, it makes sense that you shouldn't be able to control their every action. These things just happen to be really unfun game mechanics. But it does make me think that Pokemon could stand to take some lessons from this franchise... just not the ones they actually did. Stop trying to steal their aesthetic, Pokemon, your distinct brand is what makes you strong.

[thisisbud]

All the numbers coward

Oh goody, I was beginning to think no one was going to ask me to do any :)

1. First game you played obsessively?I think the first game I played obsessively was Pokemon Ruby. This was before I actually new anything about strategy (like 3rd/4th grade) or even how to swap out pokemon, but I remember running through the whole game with just my trusty Swampert, up until the Elite Four beat my unbalanced ass ; u ;

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.I don’t draw or write much now, but I do remember really liking the boxart of LoZ: Link to the Past enough to try doodling it and a few items.

3. What did you play as a kid?As a child I was like exclusively nintendo. Pokemon Ruby and Emerald, Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga, like every single Pokemon Mystery Dungeons Game, and LoZ: A link to the past

4. Who do you play with now?Mostly League of Legends and indie games on the PC. Shooty Bois on the XBox one and a few games on the Switch

5. Ever use cheat codes?Yes because my child self is a degenerate. 6. Ever buy strategy guides?nope. Any money I had went to games, if I needed strats, I begged to use a computer.7. Any games you have multiple copies of?I have Skyrim on my ps3 and computer, and boarderlands 2 on my computer and xbox. not because I really like boarderlands, but because it was on sale for steam, and then my friends wanted to play on the xbox instead :)8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?I still have my original Pokemon Emerald cartridge, and a link to the past gba cartridge9. Most regrettable purchase?oof. Probably Splatoon 2. Great game, wonderful aesthetic, but I realized I spent $60 for a game that held my interest for like a week because of my friends.10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?Pokemon Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire release. It was just a really good time with friends and then a bunch of nerds playing pokemon together after.11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?Video games is like the reason I have any friends today.12. Ever get picked on for liking games?just the usual snide comment from some family members, but not like stereotypical school bullying.13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?Sims, Rollercoaster Tycoon, Sports games 2Kyear14. Favorite game music?Persona 3 and 5 soundtrack15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?probably some kind of arcana card from persona. yeah, that sounds neat.16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?Smash is #1, but The Jackbox games are a close second.17. Ever lose a friend over a game?ummm I think golf with your friends got close, but no.18. Would you date someone that hates gaming?I’d date @kamichamachu-iloveyou19. Favorite handheld console?nostalgia: GBA, Currently: 3DS. switch doesnt count20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?Modern Warfare 3 but like exclusively multiplayer21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?League of legends technically.22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?I have pokemon pajama pants and a really nice D.VA backpack that one of my bestest friends got me @the-giant-made-of-stone but that’s it.23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?either COD Modern Warfare 3, or Black ops 2. Hit master prestige in both of them.24. First Pokemon game?either red or blue, but I was too young to play them or even remember.25. Were you ever an arcade game player?I went hard in peterpiper, but these days I’m a tiny bit smarter with my money26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?well more like salt driven blind rage from smash, but that only lasts like an hour or two27. Game that makes you rage?League of Legends.28. Ever play in a tournament?I played in like one smash tournament and got bm’d so I stopped going.29. What is your gaming set up?I have a dual monitor pc setup, but one of the monitors is bigger than the other, so it also doubles as the screen I use for my xbox, switch, and ps430. How many consoles do you own? 5 if you include the 2ds31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?never played the Virtual boy, and I’ve never used the 3D setting long enough for it to do anything weird.32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?when I was a smol babby, I had Power Rangers Light Speed Rescue for the nintendo 64.33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?when I was in middle school, a family friend hooked us up with a fancy ds cartridge that had a slot for a microSD card that we could put roms onto. it was lit. I also had a lot of plug and plays as a bby34. Do either of your parents play video games?my dad has a playstation something, but idk what he plays35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?I want to work at gamestop, but they hate me or something. Gamestop is also my favorite game shop because it’s the only one that still exists.36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?sweat and tears sure, I think I picked at a scab while playing a game, so technically blood too I guess.37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?I’ve seen those articles, never played it.38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?like the entirety of my H-Game collection.39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?eh don’t really have any, if they remaster modern warfare 2 and 3, that would be pretty neat.40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?sounds like fun, but I don’t think I’d ever buy any until I have my own place and a lot more room.41. A genre that you just can’t get into?sports games that involve real sports teams (not including tennis)42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?Pokemon Mystery dungeons series was like the first games that actually made me feel anything emotionally.43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?When I was still in school that’s pretty much all I did.44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?that one that’s like a half a bubble and the inner rim is a ring of light bulbs, and you have to hit the button on jackpot otherwise you get however many tickets is on the number you stop at. You feel?45. How are you at Mario Kart?I’m decent. definitely not the best.46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?I need to be in the mood for it. I played like 30 hours of stardew valley but now that game makes me sleepy.47. Do you like competitive games?love em, unfortunately.48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?not crazy long. I just try to make the cutest girl possible, but really I just want to start playing.49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?I lean pretty heavily towards the stealthy classes. with the stereotypical paladin/fighter as a secondary50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?bitch if I had enough creativity to think of a gaming masterpiece on the spot, I’d be writing or something.51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?League of Legends.52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?Pokemon Platinum. It was really good.53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?I don’t care for it. If it’s a game I like, I might drop a bit (every month) on microtransactions, but as for solo games, they need to be really really good for me to spend another $20 on it.54. Do you give in to Steam sales?oh god yeah unfortunately. Speaking of which… the stream summer sale is up right now…55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?never played the sims, and I’m glad to say I’m not that petty.56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?never played Roller Coaster Tycoon57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?only once, and it was Legend of Zelda: Link Between Worlds.58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?League of Legends. and that’s like it. I can’t think of any other game that will hold it’s value for the rest of my life.59. Do you play any cell phone games?I played a lot, and honestly had a problem, but now it’s kind of like a rotating roster for me. Used to be those Gacha pay to win RPG’s now I have basic games to play on my breaks at work because I get no signal in the break room.60. Do you know the Konami Code?up up down down left right left right b a start cha cha real smooth two hops two hops - - two hops two hops - - hands on your knees hands on your knees61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?my games are constantly rotating. When I stop feeling it for a game, and it still has value over $15 it goes towards a new game.62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?Technically I got the switch just for breath of the wild, but I am enjoying the other titles coming out for it.63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? I went to a tournament and got bm’d so I never went back.64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?no but I kind of want to one day.65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?I had an action replay because I wanted to cheat in pokemon pearl, and it let me for a bit, but I kept accidentally erasing all the data on the action replay itself, so yeah.66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?I actually did. When one of my old flip phones broke, I needed a cheap replacement.67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?for this question, we’re gonna pretend “childhood” encompasses freshman year of college. I remember telling my best friends about a smash tournament that was going on while I was away, and that I would be back for the last half of it. They were telling me about how well they were doing on the way back and I got more and more hyped. Then when I got there for the grand finals, I asked the guy that everyone considered to be the best player there to play some casuals with me. and I absolutely obliterated him. I could go more into detail but yeah, that’s like my most memorable gaming moment.68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?god no, I really wish I learned to be that frugal, but anytime I went to a place with tickets, those tickets would be gone literally the same night, no matter how cheap the prises were.69. In your opinion, best game ever made? I think my personal favorite is Pokemon mystery dungeons: Explorers of Sky. story line, gameplay, music, everything about it made me so happy.70. Very first game you ever beat?I think it was pokemon ruby, but honestly, I’m not super sure.