#I can always apreciate a good beholder | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jamiebluewind · 5 years

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List five things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for the last ten people who reblogged something from you. Spread the positivity :) ❤💛💚💙💜

What a fun question! Hum... let's see

1. My best friends. I love them so much. I have two wonderful best friends that have stuck by me for years, even during the hard times. They are just the source of so much of my happiness with our all goofs and indide jokes, but also a feeling of comfort and safety with them. I can tell them anything and they either just accept it (like me coming out or telling them about my past) or are ready to help (like if I'm having a panic attack). It's not all one way of course. I will drop everything yo be there for them too. It's funny, but when we're tired of people and want to be alone, it never includes each other. Like we just don't drain each other's batteries. It's nice.

2. My online friends. Yes. I'm talking to you @winterpower98, @fuocsniperbot98, @parano--vigilant, @fangirltothefullest, @random-pianist, @thesearcher1092, @champions-of-spirits, @madly-handsome, @crystrifoglio, @anotherphaseofpain, @5am-the-foxing-hour, @shoot-i-messed-up, @dillbugg, @an0therrand0, @ymmm-someone, @uwillneverknowwho, and anybody else on here that has touched my life (sorry if I missed anybody!) as well as the wonderful people I've met on other platforms too. You all have brought me so much joy. Yes, some of you can annoy the ever lovin HELL out of me sometimes, but I still love ya ;) Thanks for being a part of my life. You are all such wonderful people, each in their own way.

Winter, you are overflowing with kindness, understanding, and artistic talent that makes everyone who knows you see you as precious. I mean it. You are a beautiful precious bean. Anybody who doesn't see that is an idiot and I will fight them (and I wont be alone). You are always willing to listen, always ready to help, and always willing to learn and grow as a person. You accept everyone as they are and you are such a giving friend. You love what you love so purely and enthusiasticly too. Is it any wonder that anyone who knows you is ready to protect you with the ferocity that most people reserve for their favorite character and baby animals?

Fuoc, you are filled with chaotic energy, but also so much good and such a strong desire to help that you at times feel like a dnd character given human form. You are also a kickass artist! I love what you create and watching you put your own spin on things. You are a delight my wonderful rainbow demon seal and I am so lucky to have met you. ^_^

Celeste, you are a great listener and so brave and creative with your art. Not a lot of people are able to withstand the pressure to keep putting themselves out there like you do. You also have this... undercurrent of kindness that flows through your being. I'm not sure you're even aware of it, but it's always there and it's beautiful.

Toshi, you are just... you. A goose let loose on the world. You feel how you feel. You art how you art. Just... stream of conciousness randomness creating beautiful insanity. You own who you are and what you believe fearlessly. You work hard to achieve your dreams (even when your professors are being idiots) and harder to help your family. You deserve to be as kind to yourself as you are to others.

Random, you are cautious and walk the world like an adventurer exploring a cave with light steps and wide eyes, but when you share something, it's always worth it. Rather it's art, a story, or letting down a wall just enough to let yourself shine through. I love the caring talented person you are.

Blue, you are the embodiment of the kid in a candy store. Just so filled with bubbly pure excitement (with a bit of anxiety that tends to leak through at times *hugs*)! You apreciate things from rooftops, both creations and people. It's a sight to behold and absolutely contagious. I can't tell you how much I squealed when I seen your art of my story. I really did print it out ya know? I lost it in the move, so I plan on making another at some point. My new fridge requires art ;)

Josie? My dear? You are a doll. A tiny ball of hope, anxiety, and dreams. You care - just so much - about everybody. Strangers? Animals? Superiors? Friends? Family? It doesn't matter. You want to help them all. You will drive yourself into the ground to help someone. You will juggle as much as it takes. Your major in college was even picked BECAUSE of how much you want to help people! You are an amazing talented beautiful person who deserves all the love and appreciation in the world and your love of the written word is precious and contagious. Just... try to direct some of that beautiful carring nature towards yourself ya?

Madly. Madly, Madly, Madly. My fellow beautifully insane person and lover of dark things. We literally met brainstorming a serial killer! I love your dark sense of humor. Sometimes it's nice to just sit down with someone that I know wont get nightmares from darker story ideas and recommendations (or look at me like I must have something seriously wrong with me to come up with such things). You are that person. And you care. You really do. When you ask someone how they are, you mean it. You sincerely want to know. And you are so very... alive. It's the only way I can describe it. Just filled with... life. It's a beautiful thing.

Cryst, you are one of the people that inspired me to come on tumblr and share my first short story. You are wise beyond your years, kind, creative, and a real friend to those you know in real life and online. Your that person who always needs a tablet on hand because you never know when creativity will strike. You love the silly things and jokes, but you aren't afraid to roll up your sleeves and get down to business. You're also also a good listener and an honest editor and I'm so glad you seen my note on your speed paint. ^_^

Menace, you are the other person who inspired me to come to Tumblr and share my story, but instead of excitement (like Cryst), you used a gentle nudge and I think the one-two punch of the two of you is exactly what I needed. You my dear are made of feelings. You wear them like a cloak and they pour out of you with pure sincerity... and yet you somehow still have this quiet calm energy about you. It's like a flowing stream; calm and overflowing with life and movement at the same time. It actually comes through in your art and gives your pieces a very unique and beautiful feel. You're also kind and willing to listen. I know sometimes it feels like the world is on your shoulders, but I also know that you are filled with such great and beautiful things that sometimes are hidden just under the surface. Thank you for finding me.

Foxy? God. What do I even say about you? You dive in head first when you love something and make it your own. And when you don't like something? You don't play around with it either. You walk the world with a stubbornness that could put some bolders to shame, but because of it, you are honest about how you feel. You talk to a person because you like them, not because of social norms. You praise something because you think it's good, not to take it easy on somebody. It's actually very comforting. You're also silly and goofy and fun. You're empathetic and always trying to help out your readers, rather it's through asks, over tagging your creations, or making sure you balance your creations so they never end on a bad note. You are... you.

Shoot, you were my first reader. The first person to find me on this mess of a site. God. How confused were you when I practically wrote an essay thanking you for liking my little fic?! XD I've watched you grow and become the person you are and that person is pretty cool. Your desire to create comes in bursts. You live up to your username a little too much though and I desire to flick your ear when you worry so much. This momma bear says you are an amazing creator and a good friend and I'm proud of you ^_^

Dilly, you were always a hoot. I loved your stories and your creativity. It's been entirely too long since we've talked.

Rando, I haven't known you long, but I like you. You remind me of a kid rocking on their feet before jumping into a game of double dutch (type of jump rope with two ropes), hesitate and anxious, but still willing to jump in. I look forward to getting to know you more.

Ymmm, you are also fairly new, but I have had so much fun getting to know you. I think we started talking when I seen my phone was blowing up and realized you were going through and liking everything I've ever posted and reblogging half of it. XD You are fun, energetic, and you still read my tumblr even though I'm far less active than I used to be. I love your asks, your random messages, and chatting with you about nothing in particular. You are half the reason that I started getting back on occasionally to post things. ^_^

Who, you are the embodiment of a keysmash. Just stream of conciousness feelings and thoughts and all the things you love. It's a blast. You love to listen, you love to talk, and you love to have conversations about everything and nothing. It's wonderful to witness you finding something new and spazzing out over it. Your energy is infectious and sometimes it's nice to talk to someone who is cool with me talking in paragraphs. Case in point. Jesus. I think my point 2 went on a LITTLE long O_O

3. My cat Danny. He's a wonderful spoiled boy and a FANTASTIC ESA. He makes me laugh, he brings me comfort, and no matter what's going on, I know that this gray ball of crazy cat energy loves me.

4. Reseraching. Yes. I'm well aware that that's weird, but there's something about diving into something new and learning new facts and viewpoints that you never knew your entire life that is just so satisfying. Reading, experiments, or just talking to someone outside of my social circle. They all help me understand the world a little better and be more open minded. Some are simple (like learning how dice are made and what makes them more or less likely to be fair), some that seem simple at first turn out to be complex and nuanced (like black haircare, styling, and culture), and some are massive undertakings from the start (like intersex conditions). Each subject - from big to small - changes how I see the world.

5. Enjoying creations. I know that sounds vague, but I sincerely enjoy seeing what people create! As long as the creations aren't bigoted, odd are I'll love it because I love seeing the result of somebody take something from thought to reality. From classical art to fanfiction to my nephew's lego towers, each creation has it's own merit because each creation (even commissions) shows a part of the person that created it. After all, you can give five guitarists the same chord to play and no two sounds would be exactly the same. Now rather I actually like the end product of their creation varies. Some thing just aren't for me (like creepy pasta and country music). However, I can still appreciate that they made it.

On a side note, please don't be cruel to creators. Imagine there's a toddler still inside every creator who shows what they create. Some who are shy and fragile. Some who are overwhelmingly confident and proud. Some who just want to draw on the walls. All so easily crushed with a single hurtful word. Choose to see the good in what they make. Point out where they improved, tell them what you liked, and gently and tactfully pointing out small mistakes (like a typo or some other small overlooked thing) if you need to. And for god's sakes, don't be a bully.

#chain mail #bluewind talks #love my readers #dear god this got long #gonna copy this just in case it doesn't post #learned my lesson after so so many lost posts

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biskyenthusiast · 6 years

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Steady Downfall || Part 1

Rating: Mature

Warnings: It’s really fluffy and cute at the beginning but prepare for it to spiral into dark territory quickly. Language, death, anxiety, derealization, depersonalization, panic attacks, isolation and angst.

Pairing: Nursing assistant!Tom Holland x reader

Word count: 1,342

Summary: Your grandmother lives in a nursing home due to her slowly becoming paralyzed. You visit her everyday because you’re the only one left in your family who lives near her. All is fine until a certain nurse stumbles into your life.

A/N: So I know at first this might seem really stupid but I promise you, I’m trying to make it good! This whole series was inspired by what has happened in the last seven years of my life and this fic is supposed to help me vent and let go. I’ve experienced a lot of the things that Y/n will in the story and it’s hard to explain to people so why not write it out for them to see what went on in my head at the time (and a bit still today). The first chapter is for you to see what kind of relationship the reader and her Grandma have. Tom will play a bigger part later. It's a bit messy and obscure so be kind but criticism is apreciated. I’ve never posted a series on tumblr before so I may need help when it comes to linking and all that jazz, but I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it! This took me a lot of time and effort so I hope you enjoy!

When one door closes another door opens, when a death occurs a new life is born.

Waking up to a beautiful quote from your own Grandma like that should be a peaceful wake every morning. Except when you have a new spring friend who hates you.

You woke up to the deafening croak of the mocking bird that sat at your window sill daily. God I want to shoot that thing, you thought. You had had a rough week one could say. You had been denied a job twice and you were exhausted from trying to find any interview. After lying there for two minutes trying to ignore that fucking bird, you finally cracked.

“JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!” You exclaimed as you threw your pillow at the window in an attempt to scare it off. To your demise it stayed in the exact same spot and continued happily annoying you.

I need to get a new apartment, you rolled out of bed to shut the window.

Padding over to the kitchen to grab breakfast, you spot a familiar short figure making a bowl of cereal, you join her, mumbling, “Morning, shortstack.”

“At least be creative.” She looked up teasing right back.

You hummed, “Maybe next time Jamie.” Patting her blonde messy bun before making your way to the table.

“Babe! Have you seen my toothbrush?” Christine asked while walking into the kitchen.

“I used it to clean the toilet and because I love you, I threw it away.” Replied Jamie.

Chris shook her head, “Why did you have to use my toothb- whatever, we’ll get a new one while we’re out.”

“Wait, where are you guys going?” You questioned.

Chris turned to you “We’re helping out at the county fair, you can come if you want.”

“Can’t, I’m going to see Grandma.” You stated.

“Right, like always.” Said the short blonde.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well it’s just, you don’t have to visit her everyday. Visit her every other day, so that you have time for a job and friends.”

“But she needs me, and I care about her so I’m going to be there, ready, at every moment of the day.”

Christine butted in, “They have people in the home who are there to take care of her. That’s their job.”

“Yeah but she still needs company, she’s very lonely.”

Jamie stood up to put her cereal bowl in the sink, “Whatever you say… listen, we’ll probably stay over at a friends house tonight so the appartment’s yours.”

“Oh goodie! I can have that twenty person orgy I’ve been itching to host.” You sarcastically cheer making your way to the sink to put your dish in then slowly backing out to your room.

“HAVE FUN ON YOUR DATE WITH NETFLIX!” yelled Jamie.

You give her the bird, “WILL DO!” before disappearing into your room.

***

Entering the home that your Grandma had lived in for almost two years, you waved to the secretary who was on a call, stopped at the doors put your pin in and made a beeline for the room labeled ‘Marjorie Y/l/n’.

You opened the door just a crack to see if she was awake, glad to see that she was in her wheelchair and looking at her orchids on the window sill, you spoke up.

“Morning Grandma.” You stepped in and allowed her to turn around before giving her a hug.

“Y/n dear, could you do me a favour?” She quickly asked in her thick Burnley accent.

You mimicked her accent, “What would that be?”

“Could you please get one of the nurses that isn't busy and ask them if we’re having tea with breakfast? They haven’t had tea at any meal in the last three days.” She looked up and smiled.

“Alright I’ll be right back” You replied while exiting her room with the light click of the door, trying to find a nurse that wasn’t busy.

You walked down the hall to find someone, and lo and behold the was a nurse sitting at the ‘second front desk’ to the next section of the home.

They were looking some files very calmly and you hoped that you weren’t going to bother them.

“Excuse me?” You softly spoke.

The nurse jumped and dropped the files on the floor.

You peered over the counter, “Oh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s alright love, I’m clumsy anyway.” He chuckled nervously and looked up.

Wow, was your first thought.

The cute guy had light copper hair that had a bit of a curl to it. He was wearing sky blue scrubs and his eyes were like melted chocolate with dark circles around them that made him look exhausted.

He smiled at you attempting to make the silence a bit less awkward.

You shook your head quickly losing your train of thought while turning a light shade of pink.

“Right...uh I was just here to ask, are you serving tea at breakfast?” Learn how to speak dumbass.

“Yes we will be, and just in time too, it’s getting cold out there.” He gestured to the window behind him.

“Yeah, it’s crazy to think that it’s almost November.” You bit your tongue hoping that nothing stupid would come out because for once you were having a coherent conversation with someone attractive.

“Right? It feels like only yesterday summer just started…”

You smiled and nodded “Yeah…” silence “Right, thank you..-"

“Tom.” He he replied to the unasked question.

“Tom, thanks tom.” You gave him one more small smile before disappearing around the corner.

Re-entering your grandma’s room you gave her what she was looking for.

“They’re serving tea.”

“Oh thank goodness. I thought they were going to leave me here to freeze!” she smiled.

You chuckled, grabbing her little watering can and walking to her sink to fill it up, then you started watering her orchids. After about a minute of silence, out of the blue, she asked;

“So how are you?”

You looked at her confused. She gently hit you with the back of her hand, “Oh don’t give me that look. I’m aloud to wonder how my grand daughter is doing.”

“Yeah but I usually ask how you’re doing then you ask how I’m doing. What’s got you to switch it up?”

“Well I’m just a bit concerned about you.” Her brows knit together.

You cocked your head to the right while putting the watering can back and sitting down “Why’s that?”

“You visit me everyday which makes you unavailable for a full time job because I’m your priority and I feel like that needs to change. Visit me every other day or even once a week, I don’t mind sweetheart. I just want you to be stable and happy.”

“I-" she cut you off.

“Just promise me that you will start to take care of yourself before I go?” She looked up at you with pleading eyes.

“I-... I promise.” You allowed the ends of your lips to curl in an attempt to comfort her. She smiled back. The door opened,

“Morning Marjorie, time for breakfast.” The nurse said sweetly.

“Oh yay I get my tea!” Your Grandma stated excitedly as you started wheeling her out, giggling.

***

After breakfast you wheeled her back into her room,

“Y/n I know this sounds rude but I want you to leave. It’s good to start now.” That concerned look returned to her face.

You sighed. “Okay, I’ll see you Wednesday.”

You kissed her forehead, grabbed your jacket and purse and before you could touch the door knob, she called out to you.

“Before you go, could you please turn on my music?” She pointed her frail finger to the CD player on her nightstand.

“Sure thing, do you want The Stones or Dean Martin?” You smiled fondly at her fantastic music taste.

“Surprise me.” She smirked.

Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones began to play quietly and your grandma seemed at ease.

“Thank you.”

You had one foot out the door when you heard,

“I love you.”

You smiled.

"I love you too."

So if you want to be tagged, just let me know, and like I said earlier, criticism is apreciated. Thanks for reading!

#tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader #tom holland x reader series #tom holland #peter parker x reader series #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #tom holland x you #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe

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