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workbusiness · 1 year

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How Do I Cancel My Flight on Buta Airways?

During the COVID-19 pandemic, Buta Airways offered passengers air tickets at two affordable rates: “Standard” and “Super”, which differ in the terms of baggage allowance, the maximum air ticket period, as well as the terms of refund and exchange.

For the refund of the air ticket purchased online on our website, please contact the Call Center via the contact form on our website or by email at [email protected]. If the air ticket was purchased through a tour company or agency, then for a refund, please contact the appropriate travel agency. The refund will be applied within 30 business days when paying by credit or debit card.

In the event that you notice an error on your air ticket immediately after purchase, it can be refunded within three hours from the time of issuance, but at least 3 hours before the scheduled flight departure. You need to contact your ticket office or in case of booking online, contact our call center.

Air transport is obviously the fastest way to reach your destination. Gone are the times when it was inevitably very expensive. With the introduction of low cost airlines around the world, air travel has also become much more affordable than before. Even if you’re on a budget, don’t overlook airline tickets, as airfares are now no higher than what you pay for a train or bus ride. When booking a flight, always check the airport of departure and arrival, since some of the destinations, both large and medium-sized, have more than one air port or have several terminals within the same airport that may be located long distance. way from each other. Studying the schedule and the opinions of other travelers will help you plan your trip to avoid mistakes and disappointments. Before you fly, remember to read your airline’s travel rules and requirements, which can differ greatly from airline to airline. Calculate the time you need to get to the airport terminal and complete the check-in and security procedures, and in the case of international flights make sure you have a valid passport with you.

Buta Airways offers easy and direct online booking for flights to various destinations. Check the date and price before

you confirm your reservation.

The Azerbaijani airline Buta Airways has canceled a Baku-Astrakhan-Baku flight scheduled for March 3, due to the establishment of a temporary regime in the use of airspace in southern Russia.

According to the company, due to the current situation, passengers on the canceled flight can change them for other dates or return them without penalty.

Buta Airways asks all its passengers to follow the latest flight information on the airline’s official social media accounts.

Buta Airways Cancellation Policy 24-Hours

Azal 24-Hour Cancellations

A fullrefund is given if the ticket is canceled within 24 hours of purchase and the difference between the departure date and the reservation date is seven days or more.

Under Buta Airways’ 24-hour cancellation policy, you can cancel any flight within 24 hours of booking and receive a full refund if the flight departs at least 7 days later (ie after 168 hours). This policy applies to all types of rates.

Passengers who cancel their flight within 7 days prior to travel or more than 24 hours after purchasing their ticket will be charged a fee.

Important Note:

When booking tickets from the United States, a 24-hour policy may apply. Azal Reporting Corporation (ARC) supports a 24-hour cancellation policy in the United States.

These data are collected from various sources. Airlinesmap.com cannot guarantee policy changes by Buta Airways. For you to contact directly the official telephone number of Azal 1–888–875–0388.

Travel Classes at Buta Airways

There is only one Economy Class service on the airline’s flights. Economy Class fares are divided into three groups: Economy Class, Standard Class and Economy Super Class. The rates are different in terms of use:

Tourist Class: fares with maximum limits. A ticket is non-refundable and cannot be changed, carry-on and baggage have an additional fee, the validity of the ticket does not exceed three months;

Economy Standard: the ticket in this fare is valid for 12 months. You can return or change the date of travel with a penalty. The price includes luggage up to 10 kg, but you will have to pay for hand luggage;

Economy Super Class: Like standard Economy, you can change your ticket within 12 months. The price includes one piece of luggage and hand luggage.

Passengers who wish to upgrade their stay during their trip can reserve extra comfort seats in the front of the cabin or in the emergency row with more legroom for a fee.

Buta Airways Cancellation Policy Due To Weather

If Buta Airways has canceled your flight due to a technical problem or weather conditions, the airline will contact you as soon as possible and ask if you would like the airline to book a new flight for you or if you would like a refund on your current flight. . In most cases, Azal will rebook you on the first available flight as soon as possible, but if no flight is available, the airline will try to make the passenger as comfortable as possible and arrange accommodation near the airport. It is important to check with Azal to confirm their specific policies and procedures for weather-related cancellations, as they may vary depending on the circumstances. You can contact their customer service hotline or check their website for the most up-to-date information.

Buta Airways cancellation fee

Each airline charges a particular amount when you cancel your flight based on the type of fare you chose and when you decided to cancel your flight. Here is the detailed table of Azal’s cancellation fees:

Buta Airways Ticket Prices & Flight Classes

The price of the ticket depends on the seat class, the departure time and the day of the week, the duration of the route and the demand. Obviously, the cheapest seats sell out very quickly, and an advance reservation is a must to secure one. Many airlines run promotions: for the best deals, sign up for

airline social media accounts and become a member of their frequent flyer programs. Some airlines allow members of such programs to get discounted tickets or access to the best deals a couple of days before such tickets are available to all travelers.

Please note that some ticket classes do not include anything other than the ride itself. You may be asked to pay extra for offline check-in and for choosing your seat, baggage, and meals. It may seem inconvenient, but if you’re ready to travel light, can survive a couple of hours without eating on board, are ready to depart or arrive during off-peak hours, and to and from less convenient airports, these fares provide a good opportunity to save . some money on your next trips.

Flight Check-in with Buta Airways

Check-in is available 24 hours prior to departure. There is no fee for online check-in.

#Buta Airways cancel & reschedule flight

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notespoherbabas · 2 years

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tenebriiis-archived · 4 years

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{ 🙗 } // The last being said, I’m actually gleeful with my own portrayal/divergence of LeBlanc basically based on Forest/Flower Nymphs, Fairies, Persephone, Antheia & Hecate. Ever followed by her swarm of butterflies & wearing flower crowns every so often, filling spaces with as many flowers that can get in & developing motherly feelings for many UwU

The door is at the Right; if you don’t like her, bye bye & have a nice day/night UvU

#or pay me if you want her written in another manner #my DMs are open to discuss the fees & monthly payments if you want her in another way (?)#I can calculate the fee by hour to please your reading needs #{ Ｏｕｔ .ｏｆ. Ｒｏｓｅｓ } — OOC

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that-sweet-jester · 3 years

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I'm opening commissions on Instagram again yayyy, posting here just in case someone's interested👀👀👀 + I need to post the ToS somewhere :')

COMMISSION INFO + TERMS

Ordering

By ordering you agree to and are bound by the following terms:

I reserve the right to decline any commission or cancel at any time with a full or partial refund given based on the progress made.

I do not give refunds unless for the reason stated above or emergencies in regards to the client.

I will not begin your commission until I can confirm the payment has been made. Orders with payments not sent within 48 hours will be cancelled.

Payment will only be accepted via PayPal. Please be aware of that before ordering.

You have the right to request updates on your commission.

Waiting time depends on what type of drawing you commissioned and what place in the queue you have. I’ll inform you of the estimated waiting time and if there are any delays.

Payment Process

Once I have confirmed your order you have 48 hours to send payment. Please use only the Friends and Family option on PayPal.

I only accept USD. Please calculate currency exchange rates and fees before paying to ensure you pay the correct amount.

Once payment has been received you no longer may cancel your order. Please refer to my first few bullet points for exceptions.

Usage Rights

You may use your commission for any personal uses such as profile icon, forum signatures, page decoration and so on.

You MAY NOT use your commission for any commercial purposes, to produce merchandise, or in any means to make profit.

You may repost the artwork you have ordered with proper credit and a link back to my Instagram, Tumblr or Twitter page, depending on where you’re reposting.

You are not allowed to alter the image in any way or remove any watermarks.

You are not allowed to take credit for the drawing in any way or retrace it.

I hold the rights to any commissioned images and may use it in any way i see fit. ( promoting myself, reposting, etc ).

Alterations

I will send you an APPROVAL SKETCH of your commission before sending in the full piece. The objective of this sketch is to show you the rough look of your commission. This is the time for you to request changes FREE OF CHARGE. Any changes requested after the sketch has been approved will be charged $5 per change.

After sketch approval I will not make major changes ( pose, entire outfit, etc ).

The only free of charge changes you can request after the sketch approval are color ones, but keep it minimal.

I will not be responsible for making changes if you have an unclear or blurry reference. Please ensure your references are of a good quality before ordering.

I as the artist have the right to change my Terms of Service without prior warning. It is your responsibility to reread my TOS each time you order to ensure you have read the updated version and avoid cancellation.

#took me some time to do this again #but i finally have enough time to do it #commissions #commission info #mycommissions #my art #digital art #taking commisions #art commisions #digital commisions #artists on tumblr #commission #fanart #dsmp fanart #marvel fanart #any other fanart idk

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spookyceph · 3 years

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Pull Test

Summary: Shigaraki and Kurogiri meet with the League of Villain's newest candidate.

Rating: Gen Fic, SFW

Relationships: Shigaraki & Magne

Characters: Shigaraki Tomura, Magne, Kurogiri, Giran, mentioned Dabi, mentioned Toga Himiko

Words: 2,732

Warnings: Implied/Referenced transphobia and deadnaming when Magne's background is mentioned, swearing

The manila folder dropped from the air like a dead bird, hitting the bar top with a slap. Tomura jerked back, stool wobbling beneath him, and grit his teeth as he heard the staccato sounds of his fighter taking damage in his game. Recovering balance, he hit the pause button before glaring at the warp gate that swirled into being across the way.

“Another one already?” he snapped the moment the tall figure of his caretaker stepped out of the darkness.

Kurogiri straightened both his tie and metal gorget. “I was quite impressed myself. Giran is proving to be as professional and efficient as advertised.” He motioned to the folder he’d air dropped in. “Shall we consider this new candidate together, Shigaraki Tomura?”

Tomura wasn’t in the mood to consider shit. He hadn’t been hanging around the bar for going on two hours hoping for work to come along. One of his hands strayed to his pocket. He touched the lump that was the jar of salve he’d taken to carrying at all times. The serpentine ridge of a friendship bracelet (I used red, white, and black string so it would match you, Tomura-kun!) had joined it a week ago. Of course, he’d die before admitting to lurking just to catch a glimpse of Dabi. Or that he’d agreed to let Toga show him her favorite otome games as soon as she came back from her shopping trip. He definitelycouldn’t tell the smug old ink splatter to fuck off and let him get back to his goal of a high score—not without having how wrong he’d been about those same two people rubbed in his face.

That left being a responsible leader as the only option.

Tomura growled and set his game aside. He flicked the folder open. “Fine. What’s this new asshole’s name?” Giving in didn’t require him to be gracious about it.

“Ah. About that. I believe there’s a conflicting issue in her files about that point. Her family name is Hikiishi, however, her given one, or both, may require an update.”

A look at the top of the file filled in the blanks. The picture Giran had included showed the candidate flashing a bold smile at the camera. Shoulder-length auburn hair framed prominent cheekbones. Slightly darker fuzz lined her jaw and chin. Tomura couldn’t tell what color her eyes were behind her sunglasses, but they locked with his through lenses and stock paper alike. Hikiishi Kenji, read the first line of information on the page beneath the photo. A police report, by the looks of it.

“I see. Well, for now let’s just call Hikiishi by her alias until she confirms with us.” Tomura skimmed through the info again. “Magne, right? Related to her quirk, I assume.”

The currents of Kurogiri’s mist slowed and relaxed into looser coils. “Correct.”

Tomura frowned. “What? Did you think I’d have some sort of problem with the name thing?”

“After the misunderstanding with Dabi—”

“Dabi and I talked.”

The yellow eyes glowing within the darkness widened. “Did you now?”

Fuck, he wasn’t turning red, was he? Was he? “We’re adults. We worked shit out, okay? Not everybody has a stick up their ass about being polite all the time.” He scooped up his game, more than ready to retreat into something he could control. “When are we expecting Magne?”

“Giran can bring her by tomorrow evening.”

“Fine. Let’s get the stupid meet and greet crap over with.” When only silence followed, Tomura raised his gaze from the screen to glare at Kurogiri. “What?”

The wisps curling from the smoggy bastard’s head looked suspiciously like smiles. “Nothing, Shigaraki Tomura. Nothing at all.”

Taptaptap.

Tomura’s finger rose and fell on the bartop fast enough to give a sewing machine needle a run for its money. The ball of his right foot bounced on the stool’s crossbar in time with it.

Taptaptap.

Giran had promised he’d be there between 9:00 and 10:00. The clock by the door pointed to 9:51.

Taptaptap.

Lots of people would be riding the trains on a Friday night. Or roaming the streets, looking for food and alcohol, karaoke, strangers to stave off loneliness. Heroes would be out in force as a result, watching for any predators stalking the herds of humanity. Tomura didn’t know how to calculate exact probability rates for shit hitting the fan, but he got the sense they were on the higher end under such conditions.

Taptaptap.

Why couldn’t he just run into party members along the way as needed, like in games? Each one would specialize in a skill, forming a well-rounded team. Everyone would follow him to the bitter end because they believed in him and not some ass goblin named Stain. Why they believed in Tomura wouldn’t matter, though money would be a reasonable guess. Idealism didn’t pay much from what he could tell.

Taptap—

“Be calm, Shigaraki Tomura. This meeting will go well.”

He bared teeth at Kurogiri. “There has to be a meeting for it to go a certain way. And I am calm, damn it.”

“So I see.” He finished wiping down the glass he held before setting it on the bar and grabbing another. “My apologies.”

Tomura twisted on the stool to give the smart ass shadow a piece of his overthinking mind.

Knock, knock, knock.

Without missing a beat, Kurogiri stuck his free hand through a small warp gate and turned the handle of the door across the room. He went back to polishing as two figures entered the bar.

For someone who charged such high fees, Giran went out of his way to look cheap and kitschy. Little round tinted lenses pinched to the bridge of his nose. A scrunched scarf like someone’s guts slung around his neck. One front tooth missing in his low-key sleazy smile. The woman following right behind him and surveying her new surroundings made for a more welcome sight. Sunglasses (her and Giran both, for fucks’ sake) hid her eyes just like in her picture, but her lips held a hint of a smile.

The essence of good manners, Kurogiri bowed to their guests. “Good evening. Welcome to our humble home.”

Tomura, to balance the scales, snorted and folded his arms across his chest. “Took you long enough.”

Giran shrugged and twirled his hand, leaving behind a smoke spiral from the tip of the cigarette between his fingers. “Our train was delayed by some prankster threatening to blow up the tracks.”

“Doesn’t sound like a prank.”

“It wouldn’t have been if the lazy bastard hadn’t been trying to pass off children’s clay as plastic explosive. One of the cops noticed the stuff was bright yellow and they rushed him. They didn’t even call in a hero.” The broker shook his head. “What’s this world coming to? People can’t be bothered to find and pay for real weapons anymore. It offends my pride as a businessman.”

Behind Father, Tomura grimaced. His short-lived venture with Stain had indeed moved people to lash out at society. The problem was most of them were fucking morons. He doubted any decent candidates the League managed to net would make up for all the secondhand embarrassment he’d suffered in the past couple of weeks from watching the news.

“Oh, I don’t know,” the woman said, tapping her chin. “I felt kinda bad for the poor guy. He looked like your average office wage-slave. I thought he was going to break down in tears when they hauled him off.”

“Serves him right for cutting corners. No conviction, no integrity these days I tell you.”

She hid a grin behind her hand. “You’re heartless, Giran.”

The broker snorted smoke from his nostrils like an exasperated dragon. “I’m practical.”

“And yet you still haven’t introduced me.”

Posture straightening, Giran tugged at his weirdly anatomical scarf. “Sorry, got sidetracked. Magne, Shigaraki Tomura and Kurogiri of the League of Villains.”

“Pleased to meet you.” Slipping off his stool, Tomura gave her a short bow. The way Kurogiri swayed slightly, as if he’d swoon from shock, made the display worth it.

“I take it I’ve earned my fee?” chimed in Giran.

Kurogiri’s misty form shuddered as he roused himself. “Of course. We’ll hear from you again soon?”

“I’ve got a few candidates lined up.” The broker sketched them a mock salute before turning and closing the door behind him.

“Please, have a seat.” Tomura motioned to the row of barstools beside him.

“Thank you. Don’t mind if I do.”

While Magne approached, he studied her movements. She strode across the hardwood floor, work boots making minimal noise with each step. Grace as well as power. She knew how to use the muscle under her shirt’s rolled up sleeves rather than relying on pure size. Although, that didn’t hurt either—Tomura put her at over ten centimeters his own height at least, and she definitely outclassed him by weight. He wondered whether she had speed to go along with strength. She slid into the next seat over and rested her chin in her hands.

“Would you care for something to drink, Miss Magne?” Kurogiri asked, jumping at the chance to play host.

“Oh, my. So formal. Sure, I’ll have whatever you recommend.”

Tomura waited until a small glass of something amber-colored had been set in front of them both (ginger ale for him) and she’d taken an approving sip before getting things rolling.

“You have quite a record, Magne.” Though he’d already memorized the relevant bits, he flipped open the folder container her information.

She glanced over, shades slipping down her nose as she scanned the first page of the police report. “Twenty-nine attempted murders, huh? Is that what they’re calling those? I’m surprised you guys bothered having me come in after reading that garbage.”

“Why?”

Like a small bird, Tomura’s stomach dipped and fluttered when Magne looked at him over the edge of her glasses. Not quite in the same way it did when he caught Dabi watching him from across the room, but close enough to classify the sensation as pleasant. Her irises shone like polished agates, made up of rich layers of browns from a starburst of mahogany around her pupils to flecks of burnished copper. Tomura suddenly understood her hiding them behind lenses. Such a beautiful detail would stick in anyone’s memory.

“Somebody who tried and failed to kill that many people would look pretty incompetent, right?” she replied. “Or like they chickened out at the last second. I don’t enjoy killing. I’ll tell you that up front. But…I didn’t hesitate with the three I did put down, let’s just say that.”

Tomura, a multiple murderer himself, examined the square set of her shoulders, the twist of scorn to her mouth towards her accusers, and found no reason to doubt her. He nodded.

“The so-called attempts were from the robberies you pulled off then?”

“Mostly, though I’m sure a few of the bullies I smacked around exaggerated just to prove what big, strong men they are.” She harumphed and took another sip from her drink.

“And the actual murders?”

Her lips puckered, as if she tasted something more bitter than whatever alcohol Kurogiri had given her. “Personal matters.”

“I see.” Tomura turned the page and ran his finger further down the information. “Your quirk has some unique parameters.”

The lines of Magne’s face eased into a smile. “Oh, the gender thing? A theory really. I haven’t had much opportunity to test it seriously. It might be nothing but my own perception…but I guess that doesn’t make it any less real, does it?” She lifted a hand from her glass and reached halfway toward him. “Care for a demonstration?”

Tomura caught himself drawing away from her, his nails latching onto the sides of his neck. Cowering—great way to display his leadership skills. “What’re you going to do?”

“Oh, just tug on your arm a little. Go ahead and put it down by your side for me.”

Resisting the urge to look to Kurogiri for reassurance, he did as asked. For safety’s sake he curled his fingers into a fist.

Magne smiled. “Ready?”

According to the knot in his stomach, no, but he nodded anyway. His arm jerked and leapt up as if it were tied by a string. Tomura gasped, almost slipping off his seat. Magne caught and steadied him.

“Sorry, honey! Got so excited to show off I put a bit too much oomph into it.” She patted his shoulder as if there weren’t dead, gray hands clutching it.

“’S’alright,” he mumbled. And it was—his skin showed no marks, his muscles and joints registered no pain. He readjusted the delicate hand decorating his wrist. Cold, waxy, and pliant. Nothing like Magne.

“So, can you manipulate people’s movements? Turn them into your puppets?”

She hummed and pushed her sunglasses back into their proper place. “Not really. I can move someone with the proper amount of push versus pull, but it’s such delicate work that they could break free pretty easily. Hold out your arm and I’ll show you what I mean.”

Still making a fist, Tomura followed her suggestion. Magne positioned her hands on either side of his forearm, spread about half a meter apart. Concentration dug a V between her brows. A thrum jolted through Tomura’s bones. He startled at the rush of tingles in his elbow and shoulder but kept his balance. Something like a low electrical current pulsed along his arm, raising its pale little hairs. Eyes wide, he watched as the limb drifted from one side to the other, then up, down—anywhere the poles of Magne’s palms guided it. He could even see, feel his skin being tugged and pressed by her quirk. Taking a deep breath, Tomura drew his fist back. He met some resistance, but didn’t have to put up any real struggle.

“Weird.” He shook his buzzing fingers out. “But kinda nice. Tingly. Like an electrical field.”

Magne tilted her head and smirked. “Oh? That’s a new one. Then again, maybe I’d have heard it before if I used my quirk for something besides bashing jerks.”

What would he have done without Father hiding the fact he blushed at the slightest fucking thing? He’d never get used to talking to people at this rate.

“Your skills would be a great asset to the League, Miss Magne,” Kurogiri said, saving Tomura from having to pretend he could be witty. “I presume Giran discussed the expenses we cover? Upon joining, you would also be welcome to claim a room upstairs, should you wish.”

Magne went still. Even her breathing stopped for a moment. “You’d let me stay here?”

Tomura knew right then he’d never live down being wrong about not letting League members move into the hideout. Kurogiri would never be crass enough to say it out loud, of course. He didn’t have to. Tomura sighed, accepting his fate.

“Two members live here already, including another woman. We can introduce you to them both before you decide.”

Gaze aimed at the ceiling, Magne touched fingers to her pursed lips. “I’ve already made up my mind.” She met Tomura’s eyes, a smile lighting up her face. “Sign me up.”

Well. He had no clue whatso-fucking-ever how they’d convinced her, but results were results. Besides, she hadn’t mentioned Stain once. She deserved free room and board for that alone.

“Ah, wonderful. We’re so delighted to have you, Miss Magne.” Kurogiri steepled his fingers. “Please let me know if you require any assistance in moving your belongings. I can warp them to whichever room you choose.”

A soft laugh huffed out of her. “No need, honey. I travel light these days. Would tomorrow evening be too soon?”

Tomura shrugged. “That’s fine. I’ll make sure Toga and Dabi are around so you can meet them.” Even if he had to staple the latter to a chair to make him comply.

“Sounds like a plan.” Magne raised her glass. “To new friends then?”

There was that word again. Offered with the same ease Toga had shown. And Dabi…he’d never said it maybe but his gift had implied…well, something. Tomura touched his pocket. The weight and shapes of the items inside it. With the same hand, he picked up his own glass and clinked it against Magne’s.

“Sure. I’ll drink to that.”

#big sis magne #bnha magne #mha magne #magne #shigaraki fic #league of villains fanfiction #league of villains fanfic #lov fanfiction #lov #league of villains #fic series #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki #kurogiri #giran #bnha giran

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maryellencarter · 3 years

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Okay kids, buckle up. I need money again (for the last time, pray god), but at least this time I have a fucking story to go with it.

Short version: My landlord is illegally trying to evict me and I just had to drop $60 on court costs to fight it. That's $60 that was going to pay for either my meds or the electric bill, take your pick. So I really need donations to get by for the next two weeks, after which I should be settling in at a much more mentally healthy job and in good shape. My Paypal is [email protected] and my Ko-fi is here. Thank you so much for anything you can contribute!

Long version:

So the last three months I've been off work due to a mental health breakdown. July and August, I haven't been able to pay my rent. I applied for rent assistance right away in late June, and emailed my landlord's office all the paperwork for both the rent assistance and the CDC Declaration of eligibility for the Eviction Moratorium -- the thing where if you're poor enough you can't get evicted during the pandemic because you would have to go to a shelter or a crowded living situation and be at risk for the Covid.

Middle of July, I received a *backdated* notice that if I didn't provide proof of rent assistance application, I was going to be filed against for eviction. Okay, there's a new property manager, maybe the filing got mixed up, so I go down and re-email all the paperwork and make sure the property manager sees it arrive in the email.

Beginning of August, I get a notice from the rent assistance people that the CDC has extended the moratorium for places in a high surge status, which I am in one, so I fill out and forward the newest eviction protection form which should cover me till October 3, and go down to speak to the property manager about it, when again I am assured that everything is on file.

Middle of August, two months after filing my request for rent assistance, I finally hear from a caseworker who says "send me your paperwork". I jubilantly send all the paperwork, go down to give my property manager the good news, and also -- see, I don't have a lease for September yet. I was offered one back in July, but I didn't want to sign anything until I knew what my situation was going to be with regard to rent assistance and paydays. So I brought down the paper that said "yes I am signing here to officially agree to the new lease you offered, please print the new lease so I can sign it officially", and handed it to the property manager as well.

Now, I have about $700 of late fees for July and August. This is legal under the eviction moratorium and I have understood from the beginning that I would have to pay them. My first paycheck back to work comes in this Friday, and when I went to request the new lease I had planned to discuss a payment arrangement as well, figuring I could pay about $600 on Friday and the rest in two weeks, based on my projected paycheck.

("Taught myself payroll tax law in order to predict my paychecks" should definitely be on my resume somewhere. I just haven't figured out where.)

But, dear readers, when I went down to drop off the form, there was some other client or resident in the office, so I didn't get to discuss a payment arrangement. No big deal, I figured. I'd discuss it when I heard that my lease was ready to sign.

Instead, last Tuesday, I was woken up at nine sharp by a process server with an eviction summons for me. Thank fuck, I've spent the last two weeks having a technical issue at work that's kept me getting paid but off the phones, because I was in no state to talk to people that day. Eventually I pulled myself together, broke out the legalese close-reading skills, and discovered that the summons includes one particular line item which (I hope and pray) indicates They Done Fucked Up.

This summons, ladies and gentlethem, includes the line item "The Plaintiff has not received an executed copy of the Declaration form as of the date of this filing pursuant to the CDC Order dated September 1, 2020."

Well, gentle readers, I was and am *pissed off*. I keep providing documentation to these fuckers and they keep misplacing it, and now they're getting me involved with The Legal System. I *hate* being anywhere near the legal system. I have massive PTSD triggers from being raised by an evil ADA. But by god, I speak legalese as my first language, and I am not going down without a fight.

So, not being able to get in touch with anyone to provide legal aid or assistance, I spent last Thursday trundling around downtown in decaying shoes and 105° heat, getting court paperwork printed and duplicated and filed and mailed. I dropped about $60 I hadn't planned to spend on court filing fees and certified mail costs and the actual baseline printing costs of all the documentation I needed to provide.

I did get two pieces of good luck that day. One, I finally heard back from my case manager saying that the rent assistance money for my landlord only has to go through one more person who will double-check the numbers. It's supposed to get final approval sometime early this week.

Two, I got a job promotion I've been working toward for years. Well, side-motion, it doesn't come with a raise, but I already make $16+ an hour, over twice our federal minimum wage. What it does come with is, except in rare cases I never talk to callers, I just answer them in written messages. This should hopefully be a perfect job for me, and allow me to work a solid 40 hours a week and earn plenty of money.

The catch is... it's work-at-home only. If I get evicted and can't make it to training on Monday week, I'm fucked.

So. My eviction hearing is tomorrow. If and when the judge is like "okay if we let you sign a new 12-month lease and stay in your apartment, what is your repayment plan on your late fees", I plan to be like "Your Honor, I have a payday on Friday and I am prepared to provide the court a money order for the full $700 of late fees on that date which will bring me fully up to date".

I'll do it, too. The catch is, that'll leave me with something like $200 in the bank for the next two weeks, and I calculate I need about $100 for groceries, $80 for meds, $50 for electric, and $80 for the cell phone bill over that time period. These numbers don't add up. :P

Soooo, yeah. I'm having to spend about $160 I can't afford because my damn property manager is an idiot and can't fucking print and file my fucking legal declaration. I really hope the court throws the book at the corporation and nails them with those "up to $200,000 fines" for breaking the CDC moratorium, although I am dubious because courts like corporations much more than they like stout genderqueer individuals without legal representation, however white and erudite.

But mostly, I really hope I can stay in my apartment and also afford my meds for the next two weeks. My Paypal is [email protected] and my Ko-fi is here. If you can spare *anything*, even a dollar or three, it would help so much.

God, I'm so sick of having to beg for help every few weeks. I just really hope nothing else blows up in my face... :-(

#i am really struggling today (sunday) because i can't do anything but wait #begging post #help me o internets

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bush-viper-cutie · 4 years

Text

“The Sickening Proof” || YEAR 3 – Ch.37 (HP au)

Chapter List

<-- Last Chapter Next Chapter -->

Day posted: 1/8/2021

Word count: 3, 076

Relationship: EVENTUAL severus X oc (slow burn)

Rating: E for everyone

Warnings: none

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A/N: This is my first fan fic I’m writing mainly as a way to practice. This is a retelling of the hp books with an inserted character. Although most every character will be written about, this is mostly for the pro snape fandom. Please do not fear, although this is a severus x oc story, it is an incredibly slow burn as I do not intend for them to get together at all until after the final book events. Chapters will be posted twice a week.

This derivative work follows the events of the Harry Potter books by Jk Rowling and is intended as a fun way to practice my writing. Thank you for reading :D

The next chapter will be posted either later today or early tomorrow! :D

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~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

Snape might as well have been a terrifying shrieking shack ghost. He certainly got the right type of reaction from everyone.

Hermione let off a loud, shrill scream. Lupin jumped a foot in the air and turned. Harry went white as a sheet, though not as white as Ron. Sirius Black whirled so fast Heather thought he’d make himself puke. She just stared, dumb-founded at her Head of House for not only catching them out after hours, but outside of Hogwarts grounds after hours and outside of Hogsmeade visits. Maybe she’d be the one puking.

Snape moved slowly in a hunched crouch, inching towards Lupin as he aimed at his heart, arm fully extended and unwavering. He was a predator ready to strike and it stilled the air around them. “Thank you, Potters, for leaving the cloak behind for me. It came very useful.”

As still and calculated as Snape looked, he spoke from breaths. Heather could see it was a great struggle to contain his look of triumph, though she could still see it plainly in his eyes.

“Not expecting me, Lupin?” Snape’s eyes glittered as he continued to hold their silent attention perfectly. “You’d forgotten to take your Potion tonight, Lupin – not surprising considering how relentlessly unreliable you prove to be. And… like the responsible dog-sitter I am… I took a gobletful along with me to your office. How very lucky was I, that there, open on your desk, was a certain map.”

Snape’s eyes flickered to Harry and Heather for a second, letting them know they never had him fooled. Heather swallowed and began to shiver with fear. Surely, this was their last year attending Hogwarts… whether they made it through tonight or not.

“One glance,” Snape continued, “and I knew everything I needed to know. I saw you run along the passage and out of sight.”

Lupin licked his lips and began speaking with a quiver. “Severus – ”

“I’ve told the Headmaster again. And again,” Snape spat the words out like venom. “That you’ve been the one helping Black into the castle. And here’s the proof. If only I had guessed you’d be using this old place as your hideout – Only I never dreamed you’d have the nerve.”

“Severus, you’re making a mistake,” Lupin held his hand down and out, as if trying to physically lower Snape’s anger. “You haven’t heard it all – I can explain everything – Sirius was never going to kill Harry or Heather – ”

“I’ll be the one to call and let them know they’ll be needing TWO cells in Azkaban tonight.” Snape’s eyes gleamed fanatically. “I shall be interested to see how Dumbledore takes this… He was quite convinced you were harmless… A tame werewolf – ”

Lupin shook his head and took a step back. “You fool…” he said softly. “Would you really put an innocent man back in Azkaban over a schoolboy grudge – ”

BANG!

Thin, green, snakelike cords shot out from the tip of Snape’s ready wand and wrapped themselves around Lupin’s head, shutting his mouth tight. More twisted themselves around Lupin’s wrists and ankles, unbalancing him and knocking him to the floor. He fell with a heavy thump and groaned.

Black growled furiously and started to lunge at Snape. Snape snapped his wrist to Black and held his wand tip right between Sirius Black’s eyes, stopping him mid motion.

“Give me a reason,” Snape whispered. “Give me a reason to do it, and I swear I will.”

Heather didn’t doubt for a second that whatever it was, Snape really would do it. Nor did she doubt, that at the first chance Sirius Black saw, he’d turn into that horrible dog and rip Snape’s throat out in one quick tear. It was plainly obvious to her, that in the presence of one another, they were only both still alive by some miracle.

“Professor,” Heather whispered, trembling.

He did not take his eyes off Black. She looked around and saw Hermione pressing her hands to her mouth and turned away. Harry stood frozen, looking wide-eyed between Lupin and Snape. Ron was looking even paler and was sweating as he continued to struggle with Scabbers in his grip.

She turned back to the terrifying display of lethal hatred Snape and Black were somehow managing to rein in and remembered Professor Trelawney’s words. Tonight was the night Voldemort’s servant would return to him, and Sirius Black was the only one so far accused, no matter how much Lupin was trying to convince them of his innocence.

Hermione creaked along the floorboard to Heather, steady, so as to not make either man jump or flinch at the noise. “Professor Snape – m-maybe – it wouldn’t hurt to listen to them – to what they’re trying to explain?”

“You four are already facing certain expulsion from this school,” Snape spat. “Not only, but also currently in the presence of a convicted murderer and a werewolf. For once in your LIVES – hold, your tongues – however hard that might BE, Granger.”

“B-but i-if – if there was a mistake – ”

“SILENCE, YOU STUPID GIRL!” Sparks were sizzling out of the end of Snape’s wand as he seethed, looking very deranged. “DON’T TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!”

Black did not seem to flinch at the threat of Snape’s attack, still waiting for an opening with deadly patience. Hermione fell silent and stepped back.

“Vengeance is very sweet,” Snape breathed. “I did hope I would be the one to catch you…”

Black forced a laugh that deepened Snape’s glare. “Joke’s on you again. Severus. As long as this boy takes his rat up to the castle I’ll come quietly.”

Snape’s mouth twitched up in amusement. “The castle?” he said silkily. “We won’t need to go that far… All I have to do is call the dementors once we get out of the Willow. They’ll be so pleased. They’ve been so eager to see you, Black… I wonder how long they would hold off on giving you their long-awaited kiss… Seconds? Minutes perhaps?”

Sirius Black’s color went from grey-white to egg-white at the mention. “Severus – You’ve got to hear me out,” he croaked. “The rat – look at the rat – ”

Heather stared into Snape’s eyes, wondering to see if the man’s desperate pleas would change anything in Snape’s certainty, but all she could see was a mad glint she’d never seen in anyone before.

Snape snapped his fingers and the ends of Lupin’s serpent-y ropes flew to his hands. “Come on. All of you. I’ll drag the werewolf. Perhaps the dementors will have a kiss for him too.” His eyes flicked to Heather. “Potter. Open the door.”

Heather nodded, hoping beyond hope that this was all the prophecy working itself out correctly. She edged passed Sirius Black and put a hand on the doorknob. She looked down and twisted it, but before it could open even a centimeter, a body had rammed into her and the door had slammed shut.

She looked up at Harry with shock.

“Get out of the way, Potter. You’re in enough trouble as it is,” he snarled. “If I hadn’t been here to save your skin – ”

“But Professor Lupin could have killed me about a hundred times this year! I’ve been alone with him loads of times – same with Heather. If he was working with Black, why didn’t he finish us off then?”

He had a point, maybe that truly wasn’t the intention…

“I wouldn’t fathom to understand the way a werewolf’s mind works,” Snape hissed. “Now get out of the way, Potter.”

Or maybe all Black wanted was to make sure he knew where the boy who defeated his master was. So that when he went back to Voldemort, he could tell him everything. Then Lupin wouldn’t have needed to kill them at all. He would have only needed to help Black hide until the day he needed to return…

“Harry,” Heather shoved him away hard, making him stumble back. “Sirius Black was Voldemort’s servant and he still is! Please… We’ll all just leave and go back to the castle and nothing bad will happen tonight, alright? Please?”

Harry looked at her, and back down to Lupin, up at Black, and finally back at Snape. After a moment, he took his place at the door again. “No.”

“Potter,” Snape gave a warning growl. “I will not listen to you or these – ”

“YOU’RE PATHETIC!” Harry staggered forward with the weight of his words. He meant it with all his being. “JUST BECAUSE THEY MADE A FOOL OF YOU AT SCHOOL YOU WON’T LISTEN – ”

“QUIET! I WILL NOT BE SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT!” Snape looked like he’d had enough of everything. The sparks started up again on the ends of his wand like a frayed wire ready to start a large uncontrollable fire. “Like father, like son, Potter! I’ve just saved your neck; you should be thanking me on hands and knees! You would have been well served if he’d killed you! You’d have died like your father, too arrogant to believe you might be mistaken in Black – Now get out of my way, or I. Will. Make. You. GET OUT OF THE WAY POTTER!”

Before Heather could think she raised her wand, and at the same time as Harry yelled ‘Expelliarmus,’ she yelled “Flipendo!” right at Snape’s heaving chest, putting all of her pain and anger into the words.

Both Harry and Heather’s spells blasted out of their wands and hit Snape square in his chest, lifting him off the ground and sent him flying onto the wall with a thunderous thump. He fell onto the bed below him, making Ron dive for the floor. Snape’s wand had been blasted out of his hand and landed with a rolling click down at Harry’s feet.

Heather was at the bed in an instant, checking to see if Snape was alive. There was a trickle of blood oozing from under his hair. She gasped and pressed her hands to her mouth. She was shaking, trembling so hard she might have fallen if she wasn’t kneeling on the bed besides Snape’s still body.

Sirius Black gave a quick, victorious laugh that snapped Heather back into the moment.

“Don’t worry. He’s only knocked out.” Black glanced at Ron and back at Harry and Heather. “You two really should have left him to me…”

This was wrong. This was so horribly wrong. Snape was knocked out and Sirius Black, convicted murderer, servant of Voldemort, was free and loose. She had been so angry she had completely lost her mind after hearing him say those awful things. She wanted to hurt him, make him regret saying Harry should have died. She could care less what he’d said about their father. Harry was everything she had. And now… this night could end in her worst fear.

“We attacked a teacher…” Hermione was shaking her head furiously, staring at Snape’s body. “We – we attacked a teacher!”

Heather sniffed. She’d have run and hugged Hermione if this was any other situation. It had really only been Harry and her that attacked him.

“We’re going to be in so much trouble – !”

“We were already going to get expelled, Hermione,” Ron groaned from the floor.

Sirius Black had managed to untie Lupin and they both stood quickly.

Lupin rubbed his wrists and mouth. “Thank you, Heather, Harry.”

Heather shook her head, regretting her actions immensely.

“This doesn’t mean we believe you,” Harry replied.

“No, of course not.” Lupin nodded. “I think it’s time we show you the proof.”

Black turned to Ron. “Give me Peter. Now.”

Ron held Scabbers closer to his chest. “Come off it,” he whimpered. “Are you trying to tell us he broke out of Azkaban just to get his hands on Scabbers? That’s just… That’s mental,” he said weakly. “Peter can turn into a rat – there are millions of them! How’s he know this one is Peter if he was locked up in Azkaban!”

Lupin turned to Black with a puzzled look that made Heather’s heart stop and her stomach flip.

“How DID you find out he was here?” Lupin asked with a slight frown.

Black stared at Lupin as he extended out his hand like a claw. He bent his elbow and in one exasperated motion pulled out a wrinkled paper from an inside pocket. He smiled and handed it to Lupin, who took it and smoothed it out.

Harry inched closer and Heather followed suit, peering around Lupin’s shoulder to look down at the very same photograph Heather and Harry had seen of the Weasleys the previous summer holiday. It was a Daily Prophet clipping of Ron and his family posing to show off the vacation they had won, and Scabbers was clinging to Ron’s shoulder.

“What is it?” Ron croaked.

“Your family on vacation,” Heather whispered, stepping back.

“Mental!” Ron yelled.

“How did you come by this?” Lupin asked Black, thunderstruck.

Black gritted his teeth. “Fudge. When he came down to inspect Azkaban, he gave me his paper.” Black laughed weakly. “And there he was. Right on the front page. On this boy’s shoulder… I knew him at once… How many times had I seen him transform? And the caption… it said he was going back to Hogwarts… Back where Harry and Heather were…”

Lupin stared at Sirius black with wide-eyes and in total disbelief. Heather felt sick.

Lupin looked back at the picture and pointed. “Merlin...” He looked from the picture to Scabbers and back. “His paw.”

Black nodded.

“What about it!” Ron looked down at Scabbers.

“He’s got a tow missing,” Black said flatly.

Lupin looked at Scabbers incredulously. “Of course… So brilliant. He cut it off himself.”

“Right when I cornered him. Right before he transformed. He yelled for the whole street to hear. Before I could curse him he blew apart the street and killed everyone within twenty feet of him… and sped down the sewer with the other filthy rats.”

“Scabbers probably got in a fight with another rat!” Ron looked to Hermione, Heather, and Harry for support, but they all stayed very quiet. “He can’t be Peter, he’s been in my family for – ”

“Twelve years, isn’t that right?” Black snapped.

“Rats don’t live that long, Ron.” Lupin looked down at Scabbers. “That’s an abnormally long time for even magical rats.”

“No, we’ve just been taking good care of him!”

“He looks sick and underweight. I’m guessing he started getting like this right around the time when he heard Sirius had finally escaped.”

Ron was shaking his head. “No. No. It was that cat! That monster! He’s been scaring Scabbers ill! That mad cat!”

“He’s not mad.” Black bent down and pet Crookshanks as he purred between his legs. “He recognized him for what he was immediately. He even tried to help me. Tried to bring him to me and couldn’t. Then he tried to bring ME to him. Stole the Gryffindor passwords for me.”

Poor Neville. Heather was feeling a little less ill as everything was slowly getting clearer, to her immense and relieving surprise.

“He tried relentlessly for me. Then he said Peter faked his death – bit himself and left blood on the bed – he must have supposed if it worked once it could work again – ”

Something clicked and Heather felt like puking again. She shook her head. “He really is Peter… And he knew you’d come to finish him off – ”

“That’s why he faked his death! Why he’s been running!” Harry yelled, coming to the same conclusion Heather had just come to. “He knew you’d murder him like you murdered our parents!”

“I will murder him!” Black yelled back.

“We should have let Snape take you – ”

“Harry – ” Lupin put up his hands quickly. “All this time we’ve thought Sirius betrayed them and Peter tracked him down – But it was the other way around! Peter betrayed them, and Sirius tracked him down!”

Heather stepped forward, refusing to let Lupin continue with the lies. “No. We know Sirius was their Secret-Keeper, Peter couldn’t have betrayed them. Only HE could. Only the Secret-Keeper could betray them.”

“Precisely.” Lupin stared at her.

She blinked several times. “Peter wasn’t their Secret-Keeper…”

“I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment.” Black’s sunken eyes darkened with pained regret and he looked down as he continued. “I Persuaded them to use him as their Secret-Keeper instead of me… The night they died I had arranged to check on Peter. To make sure he was still safe. But when I got to his hiding place he wasn’t there. There wasn’t any sign of a struggle. I got scared and headed to your parent’s house right away… That’s when I saw it had been destroyed… and their bodies… I realized what Peter must have done… He betrayed them… But it’s my fault they’re dead. I as good as killed them – ” his voice caught and he turned away.

Lupin, looking down, shook his head. “Enough… Let’s really prove what happened. Ron,” he stepped over to Ron and extended his hand. “Give me that rat. I’ll force him to show himself. It won’t hurt him if he really is a rat.”

Scabbers was struggling like crazy in Ron’s grip. Ron looked down at him, and finally handed him over to Lupin. Scabbers started squeaking and squealing at the top of his tiny lungs, thrashing and twisting in Lupin’s hands.

Lupin turned to Sirius, who was back to his ferocious-looking self, teeth bared and all. “Ready, Sirius?”

Black nodded.

Lupin handed Sirius his wand. “Do the honors.”

Black snatched it from him at once. “Gladly!” He pointed the wand and a bright flash of white-blue light erupted from the tip, engulfing Scabbers’ body.

Lupin had let go and jumped away, and for a moment Scabbers was suspended mid-air and thrashing wildly. Ron yelled. And the rat hit the floor.

For a few seconds nothing happened, and then the rat started growing. It arched its spine and held his ears down. His tail began to shrink as his head and hands grew and turned from worm-pink to pale-pink. In a quick blink the rat turned into a grotesque child-sized creature and in another quick blink there was a man cowering in the very spot Scabbers had been.

Heather quickly turned and threw up under one of the farther boarded up windows, clutching her stomach and holding back her hair as she did.

~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

Chapter List

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@lokilover-39

@halcyonrogers

@krazykatkay456

@lady-of-black-roses

@writingmi

@joscelyn02

Welcome to the taglist!! :D @marvelschriss

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#harry potter #heather potter #pro snape #severus snape x oc #severus x oc #snape x oc #severus snape x reader #severus x reader #snape x reader #snape fanfic #snape fanfiction #snape fan fiction #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fiction

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noahtechno · 3 years

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GreenGeeks Best WebHosting Service

Fun fact: do you know why Facebook moved its massive data center to Northern Sweden?

That’s because servers run hot, and cooling them down is expensive. Might as well keep them in a cold part of the world.

But more to the point in this GreenGeeks review: maintaining servers uses a ton of energy.

In fact, the Internet is one of the largest polluters in the world. Data centers account for 2% of the world’s CO2 emissions, about the same as the airline industry.

Well, if that’s a concern for you, I’ve got good news because the ‘green’ in GreenGeeks refers to their commitment to providing eco-friendly web hosting.

This is how it works, according to their website:

The platform is designed with a maximum use, no waste mindset.

For every amperage the company pulls from the grid, it matches it x3 in the form of renewable energy via the Bonneville Environmental Foundation

So they claim your website could be operating on a 300% green hosting platform!

While a growing number of hosting providers take the problem of energy seriously, (here’s an example from DreamHost), GreenGeeks really puts their ethos front and forward.

But what about other pros and cons, features and alternatives? Let’s put GreenGeeks through the wringer to see how it fares.

Table of Contents

GreenGeeks Prices

GreenGeeks Pros & Cons

What is GreenGeeks used for?

When not to use GreenGeeks hosting?

GreenGeeks Backups

GreenGeeks and WordPress

Final GreenGeeks Review Comments

Frequently Asked Quesitons

GreenGeeks Prices

Let’s first look at how much it costs per month to host your website on GreenGeeks. The first option is for shared hosting (the one most website owners need). You’ll also find that they offer WordPress web hosting. As far as I could tell, there is absolutely no difference between the WordPress and the shared hosting option.

As always, we’ll only be mentioning the regular price, which is what you pay after a first year at a discounted price. The first 12 months can be 50 – 70% cheaper.

Ecosite LiteEcosite ProEcosite Premium

Price (after renewal)$10.95 / month$15.95 / month$25.95 / month

You can purchase the plans for 12, 24 or 36 months. There is a significant discount for the longer terms, as you can see below:

GreenGeeks also offers VPS hosting, which comes with better performance, but a lot of limits depending on the plan you choose.

Price$39.95 / month$59.95 / month$109.95 / month

Finally, I should also mention that GreenGeeks has a few add-ons you can purchase to expand your hosting capabilities. These include:

Dedicated IP address: $48 per year

Premium AlphaSSL Wildcard: to secure SSL on multiple subdomains all at once.

WHMCS license: useful for resellers who want to bill hosting to their clients (note that GreenGeeks does offer a reselling option).

Last but not least, you’ll have to pay $25 for every backup restore, if you do it more than once per month (the first one is free).

What can you expect from each GreenGeeks plan?

As you can see in the above table, there’s a lot of unlimited stuff with their shared hosting and WordPress plans. That includes:

Unlimited bandwidth (or data transfer, which means the same thing)

Unlimited disk storage

Unlimited databases

Unlimited email accounts

Free SSL

The key limits to keep an eye on are maybe the number of ionodes, which is another way of saying the number of files on your site. It’s a very large number, mostly there to ensure you don’t abuse GreenGeeks’ generosity by hosting a file sharing website.

GreenGeeks Pros & Cons

Pros:

Green-minded: GreenGeeks is attempting to offset their server’s electricity consumption by using as much renewable energy as possible.

Unlimited data bandwidth: you can host one or multiple sites with complete peace of mind when it comes to visitor numbers and bandwidth.

Unlimited data storage: your site can be as large as you like, so good for video, high-res photos and ecommerce with loads of products. Just keep an eye on the number of files. Hosting more than 150,000 could void your plan’s contract.

Server locations: three continents to choose from, the US, Canada and Europe.

Heavily reduced long term plans: it’s not unusual to pay less for 24 or 36 month plans, but GreenGeeks is slashing their monthly prices by up to 70% for long term users.

Cons:

Missing advanced features: serious website owners and developers will need to look elsewhere for staging or premium DNSs.

No team management: it’s not possible to add multiple account users and to give permissions.

Lack of free backups: you get one automatic backup every 24 hours. One free restore per month, but the rest are paid. Not good enough.

Outdated design: Not a deal-breaker, but the whole system could do with a new coat of paint, which could also help with the user experience.

What is GreenGeeks used for?

I’d say GreenGeeks is best for website owners with green goals in mind. You can even show one of their green badges, to highlight on your site.

The generous bandwidth and storage is advantageous for those who own multiple sites. As far as the performance to price ratio goes, it’s good, and becomes more acceptable when you buy a long term contract of 24 or 36 months.

When not to use GreenGeeks hosting?

Anyone managing a team should consider that inviting others to join the account isn’t possible, and the lack of developer-friendly features could be a big no-no for certain businesses.

Developers with complicated workflows that need staging areas probably won’t be big fans of GreenGeeks’s platform either.

GreenGeeks Backups

Backups and restore are one of the areas I start considering a lot more these days when it comes to choosing a web host. A Sod’s law states: if something wrong can happen, it probably will, and at the worst possible times. This happened to us, and please learn from our mistakes when I say you should backup as often as possible.

GreenGeeks cPanel Backup Feature

Anyways, this is how it works with GreenGeeks. Option 1 is to use the cPanel backup tool. I’s a bit clunky and manual but by no means too difficult to do:

Click Backup in the Files section

Click Home Directory under Download a Home Director

You can also download a database instead, or a full Zipped account backup, which is what you’ll need to keep on your local drives.

A couple of important things to note:

If your account is larger than 10GB in size, the whole cPanel backup option will be disabled. You’ll have to pay $5 per backup.

cPanel backups saved to your home directory will be deleted automatically after 48 hours, so it’s better to download the ZIP file locally.

The first monthly restore is free. After that, each restore costs $25. Note that it’s not unusual to restore at least a couple of times if there’s an issue (e.g. you chose the wrong backup to restore).

Option number two is to download files manually using an FTP program. If you use a CMS like WordPress or Drupal that also means you’ll need to backup databases. I always find that a big pain to do, and also slow. Which is why a better backup tool would have been useful.

GreenGeeks and WordPress

Although GreenGeeks has a special section on their website for WordPress hosting, I couldn’t find a difference between these plans and the share hosting ones.

In any case, here’s what you get for both if you want to install the world’s most popular CMS.

Easy installation: it’s not 1-click, but they use an install app called Softaculous, which simplifies the process for you. Maybe 4 or 5 steps, which you can read about here.

LiteSpeed Cache plugin: it’s a caching plugin that will make WordPress run faster on your site when properly configured. Be aware this is not GreenGeek’s own solution, but just a generic plugin they recommend.

LiteSpeed Cache Settings

To be honest, I feel like all the WordPress-optimized stuff is mostly there for marketing purposes. If you are really serious about WordPress experts (and you have the budget for it), I’d consider other options like Kinsta or WP Engine. SiteGround is also a great option if you need something a bit more affordable.

Final GreenGeeks Review Comments

GreenGeeks is certainly the provider we’ve tested that’s the most committed to protecting the environment. It’s an admirable choice, and businesses with a green goal will certainly be pleased to hear that they can host a website with a reliable performance, price, and low carbon footprint.

But there are nevertheless a few downsides to consider. The lack of advanced options like staging and team management features can be a dealbreaker for professional business owners. The limited backup features may be not enough for most.

And if you need a top-performing host, other (and more expensive) solutions like SiteGround, Kinsta or WP Engine could be considered.

It’s also not the cheapest provider out there. For example, at renewal DreamHost is more affordable and offers similar performance levels.

> Try GreenGeeks risk-free for 30 days

Frequently Asked Quesitons

How Do I Pay for GreenGeeks?

You can pay via all major credit cards and PayPal. No checks, money orders, wire transfers or Western Union payments.

Is Everything Really Unlimited?

Yes. Just keep in mind that there is a limit on the amount of files you can keep on your sites, though. It’s a really high number, so mostly a precaution against file-sharing websites.

Can I Get My Money Back?

There is an unconditional 30-day money back guarantee offer.

Is There an Uptime Service Guarantee?

Yes, if your website hosting drops below a 99.9% rate, GreenGeeks will refund some of your hosting fees.

Is GreenGeeks Really Environmentally-Friendly?

They’re certainly advertising as such. In practice this is how it works: GreenGeeks tells the Bonneville Environmental Foundation (BEF) how much electricity they use. The foundation calculates how much green energy they’ll need to use to make up for it. GreenGeeks purchases that amount in renewable energy.

So it’s not like their servers use less energy than standard hosting. However, they are certainly committed to making up for what they consume, and using as much green energy as possible.

Get GreenGeeks Now

#Best Web Hosting Services #Best Web Hosting Providers #best web hosts #web hosting #web host #web hosting provider #web hosting services #wordpress hosting #hosting

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travel2pakistan · 3 years

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Best Hotels in Hunza 2021– Revealed!

Here are 10 of the best hotels in Hunza. I loved them, and so will you! I spent the entire day researching on the best hotels along with their pricing and accommodation and then we tested it for you! Most online instructions regarding the best hotels in Hunza lacked clear information such as pricing and facilities but this post contains all of the details for you!

Scroll down and start reading about the best hotels in Hunza. Here are some of the hotels listed below:

Luxus Hunza

Hard Rock Hunza Resorts & Villas

Hikal Guest House

Fairy Land Hotel

Peace land Hotel Hunza

Hunza Elites

Tourist Cottage Hunza

Hunza Marcopolo Inn

Hunza Boutique Hotel

Ali Boq Hotel & Restaurant

1 - Luxus Hunza

Why Choose Luxus Hunza as Best Hotels in Hunza?

• You won't find better prices anywhere! • They speak two languages, so you can manage your appointments online. • One of our top selections in the Hunza Valley is this hotel.

At Luxus Hunza hotel, you'll be treated like a celebrity with world-class service. In the Hunza Valley, this is one of our top recommendations among the best hotels in Hunza.

Luxus Hunza is a hotel with a garden and a patio in Hunza. This resort has a restaurant, a 24-hour front desk, and room service, as well as free WiFi throughout. Private parking is free, and the Luxus Hunza hotel also offers vehicle rental to visitors who wish to explore the region.

Air conditioning, a flat-screen TV with satellite channels, a kettle, a shower, a hairdryer, and a desk are included in the guest rooms. Each room at the Luxus Hunza hotel has a closet and a private bathroom.

Luxus Hotel Hunza Rules

Special requests can be made at Luxus Hunza hotel, so be sure to mention them in the following step! • Cancellation Cancellation and prepayment policies differ depending on the kind of lodging. Please enter your arrival and departure dates, as well as the criteria that apply to your selected accommodation.

• Policies affecting children. All ages of children are welcome. Add the quantity and ages of children in your search to your search to obtain accurate pricing and occupancy information.

• Luxus Hunza Charges – Extra Bed Extra beds are available at luxus Hunza hotel upon request for PKR 2,000 per person, each night. Additional fee are not automatically calculated in the final price and must be paid individually during your stay.

2 - Hard Rock Hunza Resorts & Villas

Why Choose Hard Rock Hunza Resorts & Villas as Best Hotels in Hunza?

• You can't match the prices! • Confirm your reservations online. • Booking is risk-free.

In Hunza, the Hard Rock Hunza Resort & Villas features a restaurant, bar, communal lounge, and a garden. Room service, a concierge, and free Wi-Fi are available at this 5-star hotel. A 24-hour front desk, a communal kitchen, and currency exchange are all available to visitors. This is why it is regarded as best hotels in Hunza.

The hotel's guest rooms include a sitting area, a flat-screen TV with cable channels, and a private bathroom with a hairdryer and a shower. A desk and a kettle will be available in every room. Hard Rock Hunza Resort & Villas offers both continental and buffet breakfast selections each morning.

A children's playground is available at the resort. At Hard Rock Hunza Resort & Villas, you can play table tennis, and cycling is popular in the region. The hotel offers a chargeable airport shuttle service to Gilgit, which is 34 miles away.

The site is especially popular with couples, who gave it a perfect score of ten for a two-person vacation.

Hard Rock Hunza Resort & Villas Rules

• Cancellation The regulations on cancellation and prepayment change based on the kind of stay. Please include your arrival and departure dates, as well as the criteria that apply to the accommodation you've chosen.

• Policies for children. Children of all ages are welcome. To get accurate price and occupancy statistics, include the number and ages of children in your search.

• Extra Bed Charges - Hard Rock Hunza Resort & Villas Extra beds are offered for PKR 1500 per person of 17+ years, each night at the Hard Rock Hunza Resort & Villas upon request. Additional charges are not computed automatically in the final pricing and must be paid separately during your stay.

3 – Hikal Guest House

Hikal Guest House Rates

The rates are dependent on your check-in and check-out dates.

Why Choose Hikal Guest House as Best Hotels in Hunza Gilgit Baltistan?

• The pricing are unbeatable! • You can confirm your bookings online and making a reservation that is completely risk-free and completely safe.

Hikal Guest House has a common lounge, a garden, and a patio in Hunza Pakistan. A restaurant, a 24-hour front desk, and room service, as well as free WiFi, are among the amenities offered by this resort named Hikal Guest House.

For visitors who want to explore the region, the hotel offers free private parking and vehicle rental. This makes Hikal Guest House stand at a good position among the best hotels in Hunza. Each room has a sitting space at the motel. Breakfast is served every day at Hikal Guest House, with both continental and à la carte selections. Gilgit Airport, 22 miles from the lodgings, is the nearest airport.

Hikal Guest House Rules

• Additional Cost Additional fees are not automatically incorporated in the final cost and must be paid during your stay.

• Extra Beds The number of additional beds and cribs that can be accommodated varies by room type. Check the maximum capacity of the room you've chosen twice.  The availability of all cribs and additional beds is subject to change.  There is no minimum or maximum age limit.

• Check-in restrictions Check-in is open to anybody of any age.

• Pets Free! The presence of pets is permitted. There will be no further costs.

• Cards/Cash Only cash is accepted at this hotel.

4 – Fairy Land Hotel

Fairy Land Hotel Price Your check-in and check-out dates will decide the final cost of your stay.

Why Choose Fairy Land Hotel as Best Hotels in Hunza?

• All facilities are offered at reasonable costs. • You can book your rooms online with little effort. • Booking is absolutely safe.

The Fairy Land Hotel in Hunza offers garden and balcony rooms. Guests may take use of the front desk's 24-hour service and room service. All rooms have a closet, a flat-screen TV, and a private bathroom at the hotel. A continental breakfast is served to guests of Fairy Land Hotel in Hunza pakistan. Gilgit Airport, 33 miles from the lodgings, is the nearest airport.

Fairy Land Hotel Rules

• Cancellation Policy Depending on the kind of stay, the cancellation and prepayment policies differ. Please mention your arrival and departure dates, as well as any special requirements for the accommodations you've chosen.

• Child-friendly policies Everyone is welcome, including children of all ages. Include the quantity and ages of children in your search to obtain precise pricing and occupancy data.

• Extra Beds Fairy Land Hotel does not provide any extra beds because of the space deficit.

• Age Restrictions for Check-in There is no minimum or maximum age limit. Check-in is open to everybody.

• Pets Animals are not permitted on the premises.

• Cards/Cash This hotel in Hunza Pakistan takes credit cards. Cards are accepted by Fairy Land Hotel, and the hotel retains the right to temporarily hold an amount prior to your arrival.

5 – Peace land Hotel Hunza

Peace Land Hotel Price

Your check-in and check-out dates will finalize the amount you have been charged.

Why Choose Peace Land Hotel as Best Hotels in Hunza?

• The customers are charged with reasonable price. • You can book your rooms online with little effort. • Booking is absolutely safe. Peace Land Hotel at Hunza Pakistan features a garden and is located in Hunza Valley. This facility has a courtyard and a front desk that is open 24 hours a day. Private parking is available for an additional fee.

Peace Land Hotel Rules

• Cancellation/prepayment Cancellation and prepayment policies are dependent on the kind of lodging you choose. You need to write in the arrival and departure dates, as well as the criteria that apply to your selected accommodation.

• Children's Policies and Beds Children above the age of ten are welcome. At this resort, children aged 11 and up are considered adults. Add the quantity and ages of children in your searches to your search to obtain accurate pricing and occupancy information.

• Policies on cribs and additional beds There are no cribs available at this location. Also, there are no additional beds available at this facility.

• Age limit. The check-in age is 18 years old.

• Pets Pets are not permitted.

• Card/Cash Only cash is accepted at this facility.

6 – Hunza Elites

Hunza Elites Rates The pricing will be decided as per your check-in and check-out dates.

Why Choose Hunza Elites as Best Hotels in Hunza?

• You won't find a greater deal elsewhere! • You can keep track of your bookings online. • This resort has been one of our current favorites in the Hunza Valley. Hunza Elites is a restaurant that is located in Hunza Pakistan. The home features a terrace in addition to a garden. At an additional cost, private parking is available.

Every accommodation has a balcony at the hotel. Hunza Elites' rooms have a private bathroom and a sitting space in some cases. Every morning, the accommodation serves an Asian breakfast. If guests want recommendations for places to visit, the reception staff will gladly assist them.

Hunza Elites Rules • Cancellation/prepayment Cancellation and prepayment policies vary depending on the kind of accommodation. Please enter your arrival and departure dates, as well as the terms and restrictions that apply to your selected room.

• Beds & Kids All ages of kids are welcome. Add the number and ages of children to your search for accurate pricing and occupancy information.

• Policies for cribs and additional beds This property does not have any cribs available. Extra beds are not available at this property.

• Age limit. There is no minimum age for check-in.

• Pets Pets are not permitted on the premises.

• Cash/Cards Only cash payments are accepted at this hotel in Hunza Pakistan.

7 – Tourist Cottage Hunza

Your check-in and check-out dates will finalize the cost of Hunza Tour Packages offered by Pakistan Travel Diairies.

Why Choose Tourist Cottage Hunza as Best Hotels in Hunza?

• Extra precautions have been taken in terms of health and safety. • This establishment has taken extra precautions to assure your safety. • Check out the information about health and safety. • You will not find a better bargain anywhere else! • You may keep track of your reservations via the internet. • In the Hunza Valley, this resort is one of our current favourites.

Tourist Cottage Hunza is a three-star hotel with a restaurant in the Hunza Valley. This motel has a terrace as well as a 24-hour front desk. A balcony with a river view is included in each accommodation. A desk is included in each room at the hotel. Each room has a private bathroom with a shower and a sitting space in some rooms. Every morning, continental and full English/Irish breakfast selections are offered.

Tourist Cottage Hunza Rules • Cancellation/prepayment The regulations on cancellation and prepayment change based on the kind of stay. Please include your arrival and departure dates, as well as the terms and conditions that apply to the accommodation you've chosen.

• Children's Beds Children of all ages are welcome. For accurate pricing and occupancy information, include the quantity and ages of children in your search.

• Cribs and extra beds policies There are extra cribs available at this hotel for up to 2 years. Extra beds will also be provided for 2+ year old children.

• age limit. There is no age restriction for check-in.

• Pets Pets are allowed to carry on your tour to this hotel in Hunza Pakistan.

• Cash/Cards This hotel in Hunza Pakistan, only accepts cash payments.

8 - Hunza Marcopolo Inn

Why Choose Hunza Marcopolo Inn as Best Hotels in Hunza?

• This hotel in Hunza Gilgit Baltistan has taken extra steps to ensure your safety in terms of health and safety. • They give you with complete health and safety information available. • All packages are affordable! • You can use the internet to track your reservations. • One of our current favorites in the Hunza Valley is this lodge.

Hunza Marcopolo Inn is a place in Hunza where you may stay. Room service is available at this 3-star property. Each room at the hotel includes air conditioning and a flat-screen television. Hunza Marcopolo Inn is 44 miles from Gilgit Airport, which is the closest airport.

Hunza Marcopolo Inn Rules • Cancellation/prepayment The refund and payment policies differ considerably on the kind of stay. Include your arriving and departing dates, as well as the terms and restrictions that apply to the lodging you've selected.

• Beds for kids Include the number and ages of children in your search for accurate price and occupancy information.

• Policies on cribs and additional beds No extra beds shall be provided during your stay because of shortage of capacity.

• a maximum age limit. Check-in is allowed for 18+ people.

• Pets Pets are not permitted to accompany you on your trip to this hotel in Hunza, Pakistan.

• Cash/Credit Cards Only cash is accepted at this hotel in Hunza, Pakistan.

9 – Hunza Boutique Hotel

Why Choose Hunza Boutique Hotel as Best Hotels in Hunza?

Hunza Boutique Hotel is a 2-star hotel with a garden in Hunza. This resort has a restaurant and a patio, as well as a front desk that is open 24 hours a day. At an additional cost, private parking is available.

A sitting space is included in each of the hotel's rooms. Every room at Hunza Boutique Hotel comes with a closet, a flat-screen TV, and a private bathroom. Every day, the rooms offer a continental breakfast. Hunza Boutique Hotel is 33 miles from Gilgit Airport, which is the closest airport.

Hunza Boutique Hotel Rules

• Policies regarding children Everyone is welcome, including children of all ages. You can check the accurate pricing and occupancy data by adding the no of persons and you stay time in your search.

• Policies concerning cribs and additional beds This property is unable to accommodate cribs. Extra beds are not available at this location.

• Age Limit There is no minimum or maximum age limit. Check-in is open to for every age.

• Pets Animals are not permitted on the premises.

• Cards/Cash This hotel takes credit cards. VISA/ Master Card are accepted by Hunza Boutique Hotel, and we retain the right to temporarily hold an amount prior to your arrival.

10 – Ali Boq Hotel & Restaurant

Why Choose Ali Boq Hotel & Restaurant as Best Hotels in Hunza? Ali Boq Hotel & Restaurant is a 2-star hotel with private balconies in Hunza Pakistan. This resort has a restaurant and a patio in addition to a 24-hour front desk. At an additional cost, private parking is available.

A sitting space is provided in each of the hotel's rooms. Each room at Ali Boq Hotel & Restaurant has a closet, a flat-screen television, and a private bathroom. Every day, the rooms offer a continental breakfast. Ali Boq Hotel & Restaurant is 34 miles from Gilgit Airport.

Ali Boq Hotel & Restaurant Rules

• Children-related policies Everyone, including children of all ages, is invited. By including the number of people and the length of your stay in your search, you can get precise pricing.

• Policies regarding cribs and extra beds Cribs are not permitted at this property. There are no extra beds available at this location.

• Age Restriction There is no upper or lower age limit. Every age group is welcome to check in.

• Animals Animals are not allowed on the grounds.

• Cards/Cash This establishment accepts credit cards. This Hotel at Hunza Pakistan accepts VISA/Master Card, and we have the right to temporarily hold an amount prior to your arrival.

• age limit. No age restriction is imposed.

What’s Next? If you want to enjoy your vacation in these best hotels in Hunza, Just click here and book your Islamabad to Hunza Tour Package in 2021 for yourself and your family!

#hunza tour packages #hunzavalley #hotel in hunza

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the-schwayest-batman-around · 4 years

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Commissions Open

Hello everyone!

I hope everyone is doing well and this year has been more than a little crazy. However, I figure to help make the year a little easier and help out for some future plans, I’m going to be reopening commissions.

There will be 5 slots. I don’t want to overwhelm myself and I don’t want to suddenly keep a lot of people waiting in case my job situation does change. This will first come/first serve. I will only be accepting stuff via ask or tumblr messenger. That means no anons. I need to actually communicate with anyone interested in commissions.

Details Under the Read More:

Headcanons (Examples): These will cost $10.00 as a base fee. With headcanons, I try to go in depth with the concept you wish to discuss. This won’t really feature an POV of the character in question. Their point of view can be explored but it generally is done in my perspective. The $10 will buy you the first 1,500 words completely free of charge with an extra dollar for every 100 words. The word count will be rounded up if it’s over 50.

Drabbles (Example): The cost will be $15.00 as a base fee. As opposed to the head canons, the POV will now be focused solely on the character you wish to focus on. Have you wanted to see the character in a school setting? Maybe fighting crime? Perhaps doing something mundane or magical? Maybe doing some complicated fighting? I will be happy to do it. Like before, the $15 will buy the first 1,500 words, with an extra dollar for everyone 100 words. The word count will be rounded up if it’s over 50.

Character/Story Consultation: Do you require an editor or second opinion on your work of latest creation? At $10.00 for a character and $20.00 for a fan fic (per chapter), I will schedule a time with you over tumblr, discord, or google to go over your desired work of fiction or character.

Extra Costs:

Brand New Verse: If you wish me to write about a headcanon or drabble that does not exist in any media, this will cost an extra $5.00 if I accept to do this. I’m literally breaking brand new ideas and won’t try to half ass anything. This will also add another 500 words. Examples of this may include: “What sort of Pokemon lineup would Vox Machina of Critical Role have”, “What types of benders would the cast of Sailor Moon be”, or “Who would win the Hunger Games from the cast of Batman Beyond?”.

NSFW: I can accept and write NSFW, but I have full reign to also deny those requests. I do not wish to write incest, no pedophilia, and nothing illegal. This will also add another 500 words to your story. This will also cost a $5.00 charge on this.

Original Character: If you want to include an original character of your choosing into the story, I can. I will require samples and this will cost an additional $5.00 as I’m working with something a tad unfamiliar. I may also be asking you a little more often about certain actions or choices said original character might do.

General Questions:

I wish to buy multiple headcanons/drabbles from you? Can this all count as one slot?

For the time being, no. I don’t want to be unfair to you or any other potential customer so in this case, one commission equals one slot. If I finish up all the slots and wish to continue this, I may change this rule.

Can I only commission Batman Beyond from you? What if I want a headcanon or drabble about something else?

I’m happy to accommodate! I have a ton of experience in several different fandoms and I’m happy to take a stab at something if you’d like to.

What fandoms are you interested in writing?

The absolutely easiest ones I can write about as a setting or with characters would be the following: DC Comics, DCAU (DC Animated Universe), Young Justice, Marvel, MCU, Marvel Exiles, Marvel 2099, Pokemon, Digimon, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Sailor Moon, Dragonball, Naruto, One Piece, Persona, BNHA/MHA/Hero Academia, American McGee’s Alice, TMNT, Final Fantasy, Dungeons and Dragons, Critical Role, Avatar: TLA/LOK, Legend of Zelda, Super Mario, Steven Universe, Kamen Rider, Game of Thrones, Invader Zim, The Hunger Games, The Promised Neverland, and a few odds and ends here. If you have any concerns or want to check with a fandom I may be familiar with, please don’t hesitate to ask.

If you aren’t familiar with a fandom but I’d like you to write it, will you?

It ultimately depends, but I will certainly try my best. I’ll generally read or watch as much as I can of the fandom to get a better understanding. If there’s a big learning curve (examples being watching say Supernatural or Dr. Who’s mega arcs), I may have to decline. I want to give you the best product I can and not half ass any of my work.

Will you accept any request?

No. If I feel like something is too difficult to write (EX: I’m unaware of the fandom, I’m too uncomfortable to write the material, etc) I will say no and ask if we could find a middle ground or a potential second option. If that’s impossible, then I will deny the request.

Can you do freebies?

I have to decline from doing freebies at this time.

Can you write about my original character and a canon character?

Sure. As stated earlier, I will be asking for references as much as possible if I’m totally unfamiliar with a character of your creation.

How and when do I pay for commissions?

We can sum it with these quick steps:

1) Following the requests and any questions, I will calculate the cost and email you an invoice. The invoice must be paid in full in order to proceed.

2) During said process, I will begin work immediately on your request. If the word count will go over the requested amount, I will notify you and give you the option to take a shortened story ato your desired word count or we can renegotiate to allow more words and a secondary invoice will be made. Once again, no progress will be done until the invoice is paid.

3) Once all invoices are paid, I will deliver the product to you via tumblr or via email.

What is your turnaround rate for writing?

This ultimately depends on how many commissions I have lined up as well. I do have a 50+ hour work week but I am eager to work on your story when I have time. I try to at least complete a project in 1 to 2 weeks upon beginning. If I need additional time, I will notify you of this.

Can I do anything with the story afterwards?

Absolutely. You paid for the drabble/headcanon. You can post it anywhere you’d like. Depending on how I feel about certain headcanons or drabbles and if I can post it on my blog or Ao3, I will absolutely do so.

I suddenly had an idea and wanted to change my SFW story to be NSFW or vice versa. Can this be done?

I will only allow up to 2 major changes like this. If you wish to add something, the additional charges will be done to the final payment. As stated above, I will not release the product until payment is complete. If you wish to remove charges, I will not refund you. However, I will attempt to increase the word count to make this a fairly even trade.

What would constitute a major change?

As mentioned above, changing the format of the story from SFW to NSFW or vice versa. Also included would be wishing to add new original characters. Things such as “character goes to a picnic when we agreed upon a restaurant” or requests in a similar vein would not count as a major change.

What if I have more than 2 major changes for the fic?

I’ll ask that you request a new commission.

Can I simply donate to you?

You may if you wish!

I don’t have any money but do wish to support you. How may I do that?

Reblog and spread the word! This will only be for a limited time.

Why should I buy a commissions?

I have a little over 20 years of writing experience in several formats and fandoms. Aside from what you can find on the blog, I have assisted in creating unique battle scripts and plots for my own original projects and writing partners. I have created several unique plots with several praising the quality of work and creativity on display.

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some-cookie-crumbz · 4 years

Note

If it isn't too much to ask for a fic request, "Wanna bet?"/"Please stay here"/"This is the stupidest plan you ever had, of course I'm in" as possible sentence prompts with Kamijirou? Either of them is fine. Sorry if it is a bothersome request, and thank you in advance even for reading this :)

How about I go one step further and do all three??? Because I have no self-control and I had ideas for all three of these!

And please don’t ever think making a request is bothersome to me! I love when people request fics from me! x3

Each fic will have a little bream between them to indicate when I switched prompts, as well.

"Wanna bet?" he growled lowly, slapping a hand down on the table in an uncharacteristic display of aggression. If this wasn't the same guy she'd seen electrocute himself down to the IQ of a potato on multiple occasions, she might have been intimidated.

Key word being 'might'.

As it stood, though, she merely smirked and nudged the small dish of stemmed cherries closer to him. "If you're ready to piss away money, sure thing," she goaded, cocking her head to the side.

"How much we talkin'?" he asked suspiciously.

"If you can actually do the whole bowl, I'll fork up 4,000 yen. If you can't, then you pay up 4,000. Sound fair?" she suggested. He regarded her for a second before nodding and pulling the bowl closer to himself.

It was at that moment, as if sensing something was going on, a familiar face peered around the corner to stare at them. "Kaminari, Jirou, what's up?" he asked, a grin turning up on his lips.

"Not now, Sero. There's a matter of pride on the line!" Kaminari snapped, holding one hand up as he picked a cherry from the bowl and ate it.

Sero's brow furrowed as he looked from her to the other boy. "Kaminari claims he's a phenomenal kisser. I call bull. And so, to prove his merit, he has to tie the stems on all the cherries in that bowl into knots," she explained with a shrug, crossing her arms over her chest.

Sero blinked then burst out laughing. "Oh, what? Hold up, don't start! We gotta get the others involved in this!" he said excitedly while fishing out his phone. Jirou gave him an exasperated look before rolling her eyes and slumping back in her seat.

In a matter of ten minutes, the entirety of class 1-A was clamored in the commons room adjacent the dining area. Uraraka was poised on Midoriya's shoulders, the two sporting matching bookie visors, with her calling out bets and him carrying a large cardboard box for the others to dump their wagers into. Part of Jirou wondered why the brunette wasn't using her own Quirk to just float above the others and take their bets, but she wasn't curious enough to actually bother with asking. Yaomomo was walking with the pair, a clipboard in hand as she took down the wagers from the other students. Everyone was making such a fuss - like usual - but a small part of her couldn't help but be curious to see how it would all go down.

Across from her, Kirishima and Sero were giving a "pep talk" of sorts to Kaminari. The red-headed student was rubbing his shoulders as if he was about to step into a boxing ring or something. "You got this, dude," he whispered softly.

Sero was kneeling close, one hand on the table. "Just remember who you are, bro. You're freakin' Chargebolt! Those cherries can't take you down! No one can take you down!"

Iida cleared his throat loudly as he set a new bowl of cherries as well as a second empty bowl in front of the blonde male. "Has everybody had sufficient time to make their wagers and prepare for the test?" he called out.

"Yup!" Uraraka called back happily, swiping the collection from Midoriya and jingling it in the air proudly.

He nodded. "Very good! Yaoyorozu, what is the final ranking total and common bets?" he asked as the other student president came to his side.

She cleared her throat politely. "The total amount I counted being wagered came out to a total of 32,127 yen, give or take some coin pieces Of the 20 betters, the two polar opposites are, obviously, Kaminari and Jirou themselves; Kaminari set that he can tie all the stems, and Jirou wagering that he cannot. Of the remaining 18 betters, 11 believe that Kaminari will be unable to successfully knot less than 25, and the remaining seven wager he will succeed with only between 25 and 50," she explained.

Kamimari gawked at them for a moment. "Wait, what? None of you think I can actually do this?" he wailed, whipping around to cast a scandalized look at the now sheepish duo that had been encouraging him just seconds before.

Jirou giggles to herself. "Oh, wow, even your boys don't have your back. That's gotta sting," she whistled lowly.

"Whatever. I'm not going to lose, so I guess I'll just be taking home a fat stack of cash tonight," he huffed.

Iida nodded before addressing everyone again. "Excellent! Uraraka, Midoriya, I trust the two of you with counting the funds to assure the amount Yaoyorozu calculated is accounted for before we name the winner!" he instructed, receiving a small salute from the pair. "Now, the rules are simple! Kaminari shall eat a total of fifty cherries and then must tie their remaining stems into a knot. Upon completion of tying, he must hold the stem up for ua to verify that the knot is, in fact, tied. All knots that are properly tied shall be placed in the empty bowl and added to the tally. Whoever bet the closest to the amount he manages to tie, wins the total amount in the box. For Kaminari and Jirou themselves, the winner receives bragging rights for being correct. Are the rules understood?" he asked, looking between the pair curiously. Upon getting a nod from both, he brought his hand down. "Begin!"

Jirou felt smugly satisfied in her success as she watched him toss the first stem into his mouth, expression shifting drastically with his attempts, then she closed her eyes to await his inevitable surrender. There was just no way that Kaminari Denki, of all guys, had any kind of kiss game. This was the wholesome class pervert, the guy known for sparking off too many watts and leaving himself a total space case. There was just no way he could do something like-!

"One stem tied!" Yaomomo suddenly declared, causing her eyes to snap open, gawking in disbelief.

But there, sporting a smug grin and a perfectly tied cherry stem between two fingers, Kaminari sat. He held her gaze as he dropped the first one into the bowl, gleaming gold clashing with darkened violet. "Beginner's luck," she grit out.

"We'll see about that," he quipped back, still grinning, as he plucked up the next one.

It took a full hour of time, but by the time it was over, Jirou was left speechless.

“And the winner is… Kaminari!” Iida said, a bit of his surprise betraying him from the slight question in his tone as the other dropped the last little stem into the bowl.

“Aw, yeah! Our man!” Sero laughed, reaching to clap him on the back.

Instead, the other whipped around and pointed at him accusingly. “Liar! You didn’t think I could get even close to doing all fifty!” he barked.

Sero held his hands up and looked away sheepishly. “Aw, man, come on!”

“No, you come on!”

Jirou shook her head as she pushed up out of her seat. “Okay, okay. I’ll admit that I was wrong. Good job, Kaminari; you earned the money,” she said, walking over to offer him her hand. He blinked in surprise as he turned to face her before slowly taking her hand and shaking her.

Midoriya approached and offered the box, Uraraka still poised on his shoulders. “Here you go, Kaminari-Kun! We made sure all the money was in there and accounted for,” he said happily.

“Well, except for the security deposit fees. I kept that, for convenience sake,” Uraraka said, waving one hand evenly.

The green haired man sighed heavily and glanced up at her, clearly exhausted. “Uraraka-Chan,” he drawled out warningly.

“Deku-Kun, come on! It was just the loose coins! I let him keep all the actual, important paper stuff!” she whined in response. When he only continued to stare up at her like a scolding parent, she grumbled and rummaged into her pockets, leaning over to drop the coins back into the little slit in the box.

Todoroki appeared behind them, clearing his throat. “If we’re done here, can we get back to studying? Midoriya, I still needed you assistance regarding the timeline for the History of Heroics class,” he said evenly. She could see the others already starting to file back out of the room,some heading to the elevators and others heading for the front door.

“Oh, sure thing, Todoroki-Kun! Congrats again, Kaminari-Kun!” he chuckled, waving with one hand before walking off again. As he did, Uraraka remained where she was and Iida joined the other three on their trek back to the elevators. She was never going to understand those four, she thought with another shake of her head, before perking up and looking around. Just as quickly as they’d all crashed the place, they were gone.

“Geez, not even gonna offer to help us clean up?” she mumbled sarcastically, moving to grab the bowls from the table. She paused when a few yen bills were held out towards her, Kaminari watching her with a surprising serious expression. She looked from his face to the money and then back again. “Kaminari?”

“Here, you can keep the money you put in,” he said, waving it a bit. “I’m not gonna give the others there’s back, out of principle now, but… It was always just about proving that I wasn’t lying with you. If the others hadn’t showed up, I wouldn’t have taken the money anyway.”

“So your ego is worth more than 4,000 yen, huh?” she teased, taking the money back regardless. “Well, thank you. And, just so you know, this didn’t really prove anything about kissing. Just that you can tie cherry stems with your mouth.”

He stared at her in disbelief before setting the box aside. “Well, do I have to show you, then?” he prompted.

She jumped, cheeks smudging with pink immediately. “W-What?” she squeaked.

“Show you that I can kiss? Should I do that to prove my point?” he asked, reaching out to cup the side of her face with one hand. She could feel her heart skip at the action and she closed her eyes tight, holding her breath in preparation. She felt a small puff of his breath against the cheek he wasn’t holding, the smell of cherries filling her senses, and then the soft, warm brush of lips…

Against her cheek.

Her eyes snapped open as he pulled back, hand still resting on her cheek. “W-What?” she breathed out shakily.

“I’m not gonna kiss a girl on the lips without her permission. That’s just gross and rude,” he said gently, starting to pull his hand away.

They both froze when his hand was pulled back. They both glanced down to see one of her earlobes had wrapped around his wrist, like a sneaky little serpent. She quickly looked back up at him. “W-Well, how about this, then? You just won a pretty nice chunk of change from the others, so why don’t we… Do something. Just you and I. And I can decide after that if I want to test your supposed skills for myself?” she suggested, forcing her voice to keep from wavering too much, trying to thrust as much of her usual aloof confidence into her words as possible.

His eyes lit up as bright as a shooting star and he grinned, wide and sincere and dazzling, before nodding enthusiastically. “It’s a date!”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Please stay here,” For a moment he wasn’t sure he actually heard anything, until there was a small tug at the back of his shirt. Her voice was a bit muffled by the decorative pillow her face was partially burrowed into, but when he peered over his shoulder he could see one eye half-lidded and fixed on him, gleaming like a precious stone. In that one visible eye, though, he could see the vulnerability she was laying bear for him. “Denki, please.”

He flushed a little bit at her using his first name, carefully closing his laptop. “Are you sure? It’s kinda risky, you know,” he mumbled worriedly, carefully adjusting his bum leg stretched out in front of him.

It had been a hectic couple of weeks for the students of UA, though that wasn’t really new. What was new was who, exactly, got involved in the whole rigamaroo.

Normally if something happened, there were a few select students that could be pointed to as the main culprits; Midoriya, Todoroki, Bakugo and Kirishima were the five most frequent offenders and the “frequent fuck-up fliers”, according to Aizawa-Sensei. That had been how their experiences started and even now, during their senior year, that hadn’t really changed much. Nine times out of ten, if something was happening that involved villains, breaking school rules, being exceptionally reckless or all of the above, at least one of them - Midoriya - had a hand in it. The big spectacle this time had involved rumblings of a human trafficking ring being set up somewhere downtown. And, as expected, Midoriya led the charge to take the place down, but his normal squad weren’t the other players this round. No, this time around, Kaminari had been adamant about going along to help and gotten repaid handsomely for his insistence to do the right thing.

Specifically in that he’d nearly gotten himself killed while protecting hostages as they escaped.

The damage had been amongst some of the worst he’d ever suffered in his time at UA; four full days unconscious as a side effect of a concussion, black eye, cracked rib and his left ankle got busted. When he’d come to in the hospital, he’d felt terrible from both the injuries and how his family had panicked over him. Once they had parted for the day and his classmates came in, there’d been a bit of teasing about him “pulling a Midoriya” from Sero and Kirishima, but he’d noticed how Jirou had hovered in the back of the room, posture guarded and usual playful demeanor completely gone. When the others left, she had lingered a little bit, sitting in silence but clutching his hand as if she’d drown without it. The whole experience reminded him why he didn’t normally pull stunts like the ones Midoriya did.

He had no idea how the other boy could handle the guilt from worrying others and the pain of the injuries like he did.

But that brought him back to the present, with her clutching the back of his shirt and studying him quietly, seemingly pondering over his question. They’d been dating for a little over a year but they hadn’t told their classmates. Part of it was because they were going lowkey about their relationship so as to avoid complicating things with their work study and school assignments. The other reason was because, for as much as they loved Mina, she was incredibly nosy. They’d watched how she had chased after Yaomomo when word got back that she had gone to coffee non-platonically with Kendou from class 3-B, frantic to get the latest in relationship tea. Or how, when it became public knowledge that Bakugo and Kirishima were a thing, she’d hounded them with so many invasive questions she’d left the explosive blonde as a flustered mess that could barely garble out a threat.

If they got caught together, there was the risk of Aizawa finding out, sure, but the scarier threat was Mina Ashido.

“Let’s risk it then. I want you to stay,” she said after a pregnant, thoughtful pause.

He took in a breath and nodded, moving to stand up carefully. “Okay. Let me just get changed and brush my teeth and stuff, okay? But I promise I’ll be right back, fast as can be,” he said, holding one hand up while tucking the laptop under his other arm.

She let out a small hum, pushing herself upright to presumably do the same while he was gone. He hobbled his way to the elevator, making sure to be careful of how much pressure he put down on his left. It was mostly healed at this point, so the doctor’s had cleared him to return to light duty with the instruction to keep it wrapped so he could walk. He plugged his laptop into the charger, made quick work of changing into his sleep clothes, grabbed his pillows and then went to brush his teeth. He brushed them twice, just to be safe.

When he returned to her room, he gave a little knock instead of just letting himself in. She opened the door and ushered him in quietly. “Do you still need to keep your foot elevated?” she asked, pointing at his pillows.

“Um, no, they’re for me to sleep with. I figured I’d take the floor,” he said, clearly confused.

She blinked before giggling and shaking her hair, running her fingers through her hair. She had started to let it grow out a little bit, so that it just grazed her shoulder blades. While he’s always thought she looked great with the shorter, framed bang style, he had to admit there was also an appeal to the slightly longer style, too. “You’re not… We can just share my bed. I mean, just sleep in the bed together,” she said, walking over to take his pillows and tossing them on the bed.

He tensed slightly. “Are… Are you sure?” he asked, holding his hands up.

She nodded, walking over to wrap her arms around his waist and rested her head against the upper half of his chest. Even though they were older, she hadn’t gotten as much of a height jump as she’d hoped. The top of her head still just barely reached his chin, but he kind of liked it. He gently wrapped his arms around her in turn, tilting his head down to gently kiss the top of her head. “I just… I need to know you’re here,” she breathed quietly, her voice catching slightly. His eyes widened for a moment before he tightened his grip on her a bit more.

“Let’s get some rest then,” he muttered softly. How could he tell her ‘no’, when he wanted that same comfort just as badly?

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“This is the stupidest plan you’ve ever had,” she said with an inhale, lips twisting into a huge grin, “so of course I’m in.”

His grin turned wide as he pulled the walkie-talkie in his hand back up to his mouth. “Exploding Eagle, this is Pika-Dude, over. Sinister Siren is on board. I repeat; Sinister Siren is on board,” he said over the line, his voice dead serious despite the smirk on his lips.

“You had a code name picked out for me already?” she asked with a quirked brow and small grin.

He pressed a hand to his chest and nodded. “But of course! I had a hunch you’d want in on this, once you found out about it,” he mused.

There was static on the walkie for a moment, before an familiar shout of “Just tell me what the fuck you’re going on about normally, you extra fuck!”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. God, Bakugo just had to zap all of the fun out of everything, didn’t he? “Jirou’s on board. I’ll bring her with me to the meet-up spot; be there in ten,”

“Don’t tell me what the fuck to do!”

“See you guys in a bit!” Kirishima’s voice chimed in next, as chipper and giddy as ever.

UA was going to be hosting a huge event for the Hero Commision, and had decided to offer live entertainment. In hopes of buttering the commision up after the many scandals they’d been involved in over the last year - as well as to save on money for a real, professional band - they had decided to allow the students to try out for the role of entertainment for the night. By all technicality, the band Jirou had put together with herself, Kaminari, Tokoyami and Yaomomo should have been the ones to take the crown, but then Monoma from 1-B had to go and mess things up.

They hadn’t caught him in the act, but they had gleaned from his goading later that he’d rigged the results so that a band of 1-B students got selected instead. And, not to be outdone through dishonest means, he and Bakugo had started plotting. Kirishima was eager to jump in to help, but they had yet to approach Yaomomo and Tokoyami. They had the distinct feeling that the duo wouldn’t be keen on playing to get even.

He had known, however, that Jirou would see the practicality in some practical jokes. If the class 1-B students wanted to play dirty, then so would they.

As they slipped out the front door, she looked at him curiously. “Aren’t you worried about what Aizawa-Sensei will say if we get caught?” she pointed out.

“If I worried about what Aizawa-Sensei would do if he found out about half of the things I’ve done, I wouldn’t live,” he laughed. A small part of him was still impressed that their teacher hadn’t found out about the Beast Man incident, but he also wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. “And don’t worry; if he finds out, I’ll take the heat for it. I’ll make sure you live, so you can fight another day.”

She snorted and gently bopped his hip with hers as they walked. “Such a noble sacrifice from a valiant hero,” she teased.

“I try,” he grinned, rubbing the back of his neck meekly.

#crumbles grumbles #KamiJirou #my fics #Kaminari would be an extremely good boi who is mindful of boundaries #He is a perv but he is respectful about it #I also accidentally wrote him as kinda smooth??#Whoops

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writingismyhappytime · 5 years

Text

Apocalypse

A/N: I found a writing prompt and it had a cool idea, but I feel like this got a lot darker than intended. Please read at own description. There's violence, abuse, depressing topics... basically the prequel to an apocalypse.

You've been seeing the signs for so long now that you're immune to them.

"The apocalypse is coming!," "Repent for your sins!" "We're all going to hell!" "What this guy said," with an arrow pointing. People standing on street corners, waving the posterboards around or handing out pamphlets full of bloodshed and God's condemnation.

You think it's bogus.

The earth has been around for this long, why end now? Sure, everything is kind of bad, but that's what happens. It's bad, then it's better, it's constantly a revolving door between the two. You're not exactly having a great time, you live in a one room apartment in a rather sketchy neighborhood, where you can look outside and see the neighbor across the hall blatantly handing drugs out to his runners.

You try to avoid him at all costs, he makes you uncomfortable and you feel like he's eyeballing you every time you come in contact. You're not going to sell drugs for him, you wouldn't know the first thing about it, although you're sure the money's good. More money would be a blessing in your life right now.

At least you know if you get robbed, they're not going to get anything. Your apartment is sparse, just the bare essentials, you can't afford much else. So unless someone wants to steal the frozen fish sticks out of your freezer, they're going to be disappointed... although honestly they probably would steal your food, it's getting bad out there.

You sit down slowly at your kitchen table, sighing as you prop your chin in your hands. There's a stack of white envelopes you need to open, all telling you how much money you owe. There's the mandatory taxes the government has implemented that you pay monthly for a fee for being in the country, doesn't matter if you were born there or traveled there, everyone pays it. Your rent is due again, just like it is every two weeks, not to mention your medical bills are starting to pile up. You've been trying to pay the least amount possible on them, but the interest is starting to make you think you'll never be able to pay it off. Your ribs were broken a few years ago when you got caught in the middle of a drug deal gone wrong, you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, but that doesn't mean you get out of paying the bill for the fourteen hours you were in the hospital for it.

Your rent comes first, as always. You need somewhere to live, and anywhere is better than being on the streets at night when the hellish activities start. You suppose you are a little thankful for your drug dealing neighbor across the hall, no one wants to mess with him much so it keeps the worst of the criminals off the floor.

Your rent is due, and then you have to pay the tax, otherwise you end up in jail working it off, and some people never come back from that. You've starved just to pay these bills, rationed your food out, and somehow you've made it this long on your own.

You just have to keep it up.

Your eyes flick to the single window in your apartment as you hears sirens suddenly blaring, but that's nothing new. Every few minutes there's either an ambulance or a police car driving by, but that doesn't mean safety or help is coming. You can never tell if someone is good or bad these days, out to get you, hurt you in some way. You just don't trust anyone, it's the only way to survive.

You used to fantasize you could fall in with some tough crowd that would help keep you safe, you'd become so infamous that everyone would be terrified to offend you. They'd avert their eyes, avoid you if necessary, leave you alone.

It's worse being a female during these times, anyway. Men are such assholes, they think they rule the world, but it's their fault everything is falling apart. The wars, the rationing, the concentration camps for even their own citizens if they didn't pay their dues... it's not a life worth living.

You almost hope the apocalypse does come and just ends all this.

Your stomach rumbles, but you ignore it, slowly reaching for your worn purse and dragging it to you. You need to calculate your bills, figure out how you can wiggle your money around to cover everything. You might have to skimp on food again, but that's alright, you can make it.

Your eyes rise as the lights flicker, and you grimace, hoping the power doesn't go out again. The electric good isn't stable, too many people trying to draw off of it at once, which is why you have a stock of candles. You only use one, and you try to recycle it as much as possible, wax is too expensive to be wasteful.

You stand, heading over to your bedside table where you keep the candles, grabbing it and the small box of matches out. Your bed is pushed against the wall for optimal space, with the single table and lamp beside it with the burned-out bulb. You have two overhead lights, one in the kitchen and one in the closet that's called a bathroom with just a shower and toilet beside each other. The kitchen is small, a refrigerator and stove beside the other with a counter beside it, and then just your table and two chairs. You have a sofa shoved against the wall, and a bookshelf with different books you've found and collected, but that's it.

You doubt anyone, except maybe sketchy drug dealer guy, has a TV, let alone the hookup for it to actually get channels. You figure you're lucky you even have a refrigerator here, this is actually one of the better places to live. You can't imagine how difficult it would be if you had a child you had to feed, or any other family that relied on you.

You hear sirens again, this time closer, as if they're right outside your window. You hold your breath before you creep over to it, brushing the dingy, thin curtain out of the way so you can peep outside. There are at least three cars parked hazardly in the parking lot six stories below, and you wonder what's going on.

Drug bust maybe? No, more than likely someone has been murdered, that seems more likely than the police caring about drugs. People never call them unless there's a dead body involved, and sometimes not even then. It's too much of a hassle.

The cops don't usually visit this side of town anymore, not since the riots a few years ago. Most of the gray buildings outside are damaged, crumbling ruins of their former selves, pieces of them in the street blocking the road. You're not sure how this one made it out so well, considering the destruction all around it, but at least it's stable enough that you can call it home.

Hmph.

Oh well.

You let go of the curtain, returning to your table and setting your candles and matches down beside each other, just in case you need them. You sit down and reluctantly reach for the stack of bills you're going to have to look through, wondering what you're going to give up this month to pay them.

~~~~~~~~

Okay, just dash to the mailbox and back, you can do it. You hesitate in front of your door, knowing all you have to do is make it down to the end of the hallway, drop your bills off, and come back. It's just... well, sketchy drug dealer guy's door is closed, and there's not been any traffic through in a few minutes, so now might be a good opportunity. You don't want to run into anyone, it's too... it scares you.

You hold tightly to the paper in your hands, slowly reaching forward to twist the lock on your door. You usually keep a chair propped beneath it every night, just for extra safety, but you wish there was more you could do to defend yourself. Guns are outlawed, so other then a dull kitchen knife, you have no other way to defend yourself.

It's currently in your coat pocket.

Okay, one, two... three!

You open your door before you can think anymore on it, nervously peering out into the hallway before you close the door behind you and scurry down the scuffed floor. You keep your eyes on the floor, not looking at any of the doors that you pass, hoping no one is looking out. You avoid your neighbors, keep to yourself and don't bother anyone, so they leave you alone as well.

The light above you is flickering, buzzing loudly as it threatens to go out, and you hope it doesn't since it'll never get fixed. You can't imagine how terrifying this hallway would be without any light. If batteries weren't such a luxury, you could invest in a flashlight, but those are hard found now too.

Everyone has hoarded up any resource they can, and the people on the bottom just suffer for it. That's the problem with the whole, "every man for himself," mentality. If everyone stuck together, if they tried, so many issues could be resolved, there would be less suffering.

But humanity is only out for itself, look at what it did to the planet it lives on.

It started with the burning of the rainforests, losing the trees that supplied the very oxygen to half the planet. The factories kept getting more and more, the smog, the population kept growing as birth control became so tightly monitored and frowned upon. No one tried to stop the downhill spiral, or at least those who did were too small to have any effect, no matter how desperate their attempts.

Right now, it's just a waiting game to see which country goes to war next, what's left of them anyway. You figure it'll have to get better again, right? It can't get much worse than how it is now. There's been an unsteady peace too long now, for a few years there's not been any known assassinations of political leaders, no one in the church has died suspiciously that you're aware of, so maybe it's already on the incline.

You've been told you're a hopeless optimist, but what else are you supposed to do? Expecting the worst all the time is depressing, and that doesn't make you think life is worth living. You want to see a better world, somewhere, that if you did have a family, you would want them to be.

You drop your mail off in the box, giving a sigh of relief that you've made it this far with no one noticing you. Your eyes flick down the hallway again, and you make a quick rush for your apartment, keeping your head down.

Your fingers curl in your pockets, the gloves you wear fingerless and thin, but enough to keep you warm. Your jacket is a faded army green with a gray hood, but there's holes in it from wear and tear, you've had it for years. It was your fathers before you, and when he died, you sort of took it, so it's too big for you, but you can't afford a new one. Even now you know you need new boots, the sole is out in one, they're falling apart, but it's all you have, and you're making due.

Many people are worse off than what you are, so you try not to complain.

Okay, just a few more steps, you're at your door! Your nervous fingers twist the knob, but your stomach drops as the door behind you opens. You ignore it, stepping forward hastily, keeping your eyes focused on the interior of your apartment --- you're just not going to look, that's all. The ostrich effect, bury your head in the sand and the scary goes away.

"Hey."

Shit, it's not working.

Your eyes flick over your shoulder anxiously, and you twist, keeping the door between you and the drug dealer standing in the middle of the hallway. You've had to speak to him a few times in the six months you've lived here, you couldn't avoid him forever, but you've kept it brief before scurrying away.

You don't say anything as you look at him, your hand immediately going to your pocket where the small kitchen knife is, shaking fingers curving around the handle. You wonder what he wants, you obviously have nothing for him, maybe he's just being polite? Just saying hello?

No, he has ulterior motives, you can tell by his eyes. They're shifty, scanning you and trying to see what you have in the apartment behind you. You keep the door angled where he can't see anything, not wanting him to get any ideas.

"Haven't run into you in a while," the dealer comments, brushing dark hair out of his eyes. He keeps his long hair in a ponytail at this nape, with a scraggly beard he's trying to grow. You don't like him, he sets you on edge, and you know if anything happens, if he attacks you, you have two choices; let him hurt you, or hurt him, and have to make a run for it. He'll come after you if he doesn't die, and you don't want anyone's blood on your hands --- you just want to be alone!

You shrug your shoulders, keeping your eyes focused on his chest rather than his face. The less eye contact you make, maybe he'll decide to just leave you alone. What is he doing in the hall, anyway? Expecting someone?

You tug nervously on your braid where it falls over your shoulder, wishing he would stop looking at you. His eyes are so soulless, it's as if there's no conscience or kind thought behind them. Your door is inching closer to being shut, and you're probably going to move your entire table against it tonight just for good measure.

"You don't speak much, little mouse. I see you scurrying in and out of your apartment all the time, keeping to yourself. I never see anything with you." he remarks casually, and you tense as he leans against the doorway, inches away from you. "You're all alone, huh?"

You don't answer, but your eyes raise warily, narrowing. You're going to shut the door in his face, you don't want to keep conversing with him. His breath smells like death, a mix between tobacco and something else you don't want to name. You imagine him like a demon stepping out of hell, there's always smoke behind him or coming from beneath his door.

"Shy, huh? We know each other, don't we? We're neighbors," the dealer reminds, his hand suddenly clamping around your door as you go to shut it. Your fingers tighten until they hurt around the handle on your knife, your eyes growing wide as he suddenly shoves, sending your door flying open and you staggering back several feet.

You don't have a chance to react before his long fingers are wrapping around your arms, squeezing your wrists so tightly you gasp in pain, the only weapon you have dropping from your spasming fingers. You only half hear it clatter against the floor as you strain back in a panic, watching helplessly as your door slowly swings closed by itself.

"Let, let go of me!" you shrill, your heart suddenly hammering in your chest. It thumps hard against your ribs, and you suddenly feel like you can't breathe as fear rushes through your veins like ice. "You're hurting me!"

"Shh, it's alright, mouse," the dealer chuckles, and he's dragging you forward despite how hard you strain back, digging your heels into the scratched floor. "I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to talk."

Your hands are tingling, he's holding onto you so tightly it hurts your wrists. Your eyes flick to the knife lying on the floor by the door, wondering if you can get to it, defend yourself somehow. You don't trust him, something bad is going to happen if you don't get away!

"I don't --- let go!" You flail, trying to fight him, but he's a lot bigger than you realized! He stands two full heads above you, looming over you, easily fending you off with a smirk on his lips. He's not worried you're going to be able to defend yourself, he'll do whatever he wants and you know it. "Leave me alone!"

"Don't fight, there's no point. We're just going to have a chat," he says, and suddenly sits you down so forcefully in a kitchen chair the chair groans with the impact, threatening to tilt back. He lets go of your wrists only to clamp his hands on your shoulders, forcing you to stay still.

What can you do!? Your eyes search desperately around you, but the only thing on the table is a candlestick and your checkbook, nothing else. that's the only knife that you have, and you dropped it! You just, when he grabbed you, he squeezed so hard, you couldn't hold onto it!

You try to hunch, to make yourself smaller, squirm out of his grip, but it's like steel! You can't get away, and his grip turns painful the more you struggle.

"Nice place you have here," he says after a moment, glancing around the sparse interior. "You work at the factory, so I know they're not paying you shit. This entire space should be full of things for you to enjoy."

He leans down, and you go rigid as you feel his lips brush your ear, his breath moving errant strands of your hair. "We could come to an arrangement, you and I. I'll pay you a lot more than some honest job you have, you won't have a worry in the world. On a few conditions, of course."

You figured as much, nothing comes for free. You shake your head, not even willing to hear his conditions. You don't want to get involved in anything criminal, not when you know it hurts people. You'll just keep struggling, doing what you're doing, because at least you know your actions aren't causing people to die or to lose themselves to addiction, it's not hurting families. You can sleep at night with how your life is now... at least most of the time.

"Aw, come now, let's not be like that." the dealer clucks, squeezing your shoulders and making you cringe. "You're a pretty girl, doesn't hurt to see what other options life gives you. I can make sure you're comfortable."

"I --- I'm fine," you manage, your eyes focusing on the tears in the knees of your jeans. They're worn through, thin in many places, but that's okay. You're making it, you don't need anyone's help.

"Are you? Look at this place," his fingers slowly brush upwards, and you hold your breath as they curve around your throat; he can probably feel the erratic beats of your heart, know that you're terrified of him. Your palms are damp, and you press them tightly against your thighs, knowing one wrong move and this could be your last night.

You don't want to die, not today, not tomorrow, not any time soon! You haven't worked this hard surviving just to let some trashy drug dealer take you out! You're at least going to fight him, even if he does manage to hurt you.

"I could improve your life," he whispers, tightening his grip just enough to apply pressure, hearing your breathing grow ragged with satisfaction. "Let me use your apartment, hmm? I'm looking to expand, and I can assure you, you'll be protected. No one will touch you when they know you're in league with me."

No, no ---.

"We could have a little empire right out of this building," he continues, your eyes widening as his other hand draws suggestively down your arm, brushing against your waist. Your big jacket suddenly doesn't offer enough protection, you feel like you're suffocating! Your hands rise of their own accord, curling around his wrist and trying to get him to let go of you. "Well, I will, but you'll be around. You know I've been watching you for a while, little mouse. You come and go for work and come straight home. Where's the fun in that?"

"S-stop!" You flinch as his grip tightens against your throat, his dirty fingers digging into your skin until it hurts! You struggle, but he's stronger than you, dilated eyes seeming to enjoy your distress. His hand is flat against your stomach now, holding you still, and spots are starting to appear in front of your eyes.

"I'm giving you a wonderful offer. You shouldn't refuse. Tony down the hall did, and now he's moved out." his voice hardens just enough where you know if you refuse again, he's going to do something terrible to you. You feel hot tears building in your ears as his fingers curl around your thigh, but you refuse to let them fall, to let him see you cry!

It shouldn't be like this! This is your apartment, you live here! He has no right to be in here, threatening you like this, touching you at all! The world is only this terrible because people have let it get this way, but that doesn't mean you deserve to be in this position!

You can't just --- just let him do this!

You thrash wildly against his grip, suddenly digging your heels hard into the floor and throwing your weight back as best you can, hearing him curse as the back of the chair rams hard into his abdomen. He lets go of you in surprise as he staggers back, and you barely have time to inhale sharply before you're moving.

You make a mad dash for the door, barely managing to snag the knife out of the floor before he's grabbing your braid and jerking, causing you to shriek in surprise as he drags you back to him, cursing loudly.

You flail behind you desperately with the knife, feeling it connect a few times but nothing damaging. He lets go of you when you finally get his arm, shredding the material of his shirt sleeve. He hisses in pain as you whip around, your hand shaking as you hold the knife up between the two of you, breathing hard.

Every root on your head hurts! You've never had someone manhandle you like that, and you never want it to happen again! Your wrists, your throat, your hair --- it all hurts! How can one person cause so much pain to another and not even care?

Maybe this world should burn after all.

"Stay away from me," you rasp, your voice rough but firm. "Don't you ever touch me again!"

"Oh, so you do have some fire in you," your dealer snorts, inspecting the wound on his arm before ignoring it. "I like women better that way. Do you really think you'll make it out of this building? They'll stop you in the hall if I give the order."

Well, you're really gonna give it your best to get out, this man can go fuck himself.

You glare at him as you back towards your door, keeping your focus on him until you bump into it. Your hand flails behind you, finally closing on the knob, and your attention only disappears from him for a split second as you try to open it, finding the knob is twisted awkwardly.

You hear the creak of the floorboard as he lunges at you, the only preparation you have. You turn in surprise, and dodge --- mainly you just duck, your knees hitting the floor hard as you attempt to crawl away. He grabs the back of your jacket, wrenching so hard you slide back against the wood below. You kick at him desperately, slashing frantically with the knife in front of you, trying to keep him away.

"Get off of me!" You gasp, managing to cut him again, finally seeming to make him lose his temper. The man throws himself forward, expertly grabbing your arm and maneuvering the knife out of your grip as if he's done this a thousand times. He straddles your waist, and you feel like you're smothering from the weight, the scent of his smoke-clad clothing making your nose burn.

"Get off! Let go of me!" You scream at him, knowing that even if your neighbors can hear they won't come to your rescue. No one has any decency these days, they don't care if you yell for help, beg for it, you're on your own. If you don't kill him, he's going to kill you, all because he wants your apartment! It's not even anything personal against you, you haven't slighted him in any way, you've done nothing wrong!

His hands close around your throat again, this time squeezing immediately and so hard all you can do is give a soft gasp. You try to thrash your body, throw yourself side to side, scratch, claw, dig your nails into his flesh, but he doesn't let go!

He's choking you, your heart throwing itself wildly in your chest, everything starting to become hard to focus on. It's painful, your lungs are burning for air, and you're hitting his arms as hard as you can to no avail.

Is this really how you're going to die? Some disgusting drug dealer choking you to death over space? You don't want to die, not like this, not at all! You have to make him let go, he has to stop, he has, --- he has to die!

You smash your hands into his chest so forcefully the man's eyes widen, and he lets go of you as he's thrown back, landing hard on his side as he slides across your floor. You inhale sharply, coughing as you scramble to your knees, unable to keep your balance. You're weaving on your feet, falling hard into your wall and knocking the photos into the floor. You're so afraid, he's going to be right behind you, after you, you're afraid to look but you have too!

Your eyes flick behind you in fear, only --- the man isn't moving. His back is to you where he lies on the floor, arms held at awkward angles that can't be comfortable.

Your trembling hand presses against your throat, finding every breath is hard to take, you can barely stand to swallow. You stare at where he lies, wondering if he's faking it, if he's trying to draw you close so he can hurt you again. You're not going to fall for it, you're not going near him.

But... but why isn't he moving? You can't tell if he's breathing or not, but you know you couldn't have hit him that hard. Why did he let go? Why did he look so surprised?

You hesitate, but... well, he's between you and the door.

You have to get out of here.

You slowly edge forward, keeping your back flat against the wall as you get closer and closer. You tilt your head a little, your messy braid falling forward as you try to see his face.

His eyes are open, but he's staring vacantly at the wall, and his chest... is it not moving? If he's faking it, he's doing very well, he reminds you of a corpse.

You flinch as you accidentally bump his foot, but it doesn't seem to affect him, he just... lies there.

Is he --- is he dead?

Your hand closes over your mouth in horror, staring at the corpse of the man who attacked you. You don't see blood anyway, he didn't fall on the knife, how is he dead!? This makes no sense! You've never hurt anyone, you couldn't have killed him!

Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no!

What are you going to do with a dead body!? He's twice your size, you don't even know if you could drag him back to his apartment and pretend nothing happened! For all you know, his gang might come looking for his murderer, or someone worse might move next door!

You jerk as your door suddenly opens, swinging wide slowly and hitting the wall. You hold you breath as someone steps inside, your eyes widening in terror.

Could this day get any worse!?

The tall, skinny man gazes at the dead body before him, and you notice he's dressed in a black suit, looking completely out of place. His black hair is smoothed back against his skull, silver studs jutting out of his ears like horns. His face is slightly pointed, and there's black heavily circling his eyes, making him seem as if he's staring at you from the abyss.

He slowly turns his head to look at you, his hands casually slipped into his suit pockets. You've never seen a suit so black, so smooth that you don't even notice the seams. You can see a white kerchief tucked neatly in the pocket on his chest, and there's some kind of wording beneath it too small for your exhausted eyes to read.

He turns his body to face yours, and his lips draw into an absent smile. "There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere."

What?

You stare at him, not able to say a word as he reaches inside his jacket, pulling out something dark and tossing it in your direction. You catch it reflexively, realizing it's a black t shirt, the softest you've ever felt.

You hold it between your hands, realizing there's writing on the pocket of it.

Death.

"Well, we should get going. Your horse is waiting for you outside," the tall man says, brown eyes ghosting over the injuries he can visibly see. "When we arrive at the house, we'll tidy you up. Come along, Death."

Wait, you're death?

"Who --- who are you?" You manage to whisper, unable to talk any louder.

"Oh, how rude of me. I'm Apocalypse. You're Death, clearly by this corpse you touched. I can explain everything later, but --- oh, you're fainting. Lovely."

You don't even remember hitting the floor.

#apocalypse #end of the world #apocalypse story #miw #well sort of #havent really got there yet

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tarotforsale · 5 years

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Tarot friends!

There’s some fast news that came up regarding a Gundam 00 tarot deck! If you’re a fan of Gundam, there’s a novel little deck that is available for pre-order as a part of the Gundam 40 year anniversary. It’s a majors-only deck, and contains original chibi art of Mobile Suit Gundam 00 characters. It comes with a guide book on how to read and meanings, but is in Japanese It’s available only in Japan at certain Japanese retailers and costs 2484¥ at most shops, and 2530¥ through NewType (comes with a bonus postcard), otherwise about $23 USD. Normally, Japanese shops don’t really ship outside of Japan, so if you want to purchase this you’ll have to use a service.

You can pre-order the deck at NewType, Tsutaya, Animate, and AmiAmi.

Pre-orders for the deck ship on November 21st, but please note that pre-orders close on September 29th, so if you want to get it you’ll have to hurry!

How to purchase from Japan under the cut!

For those of you who may not normally order from Japan, there’s some proxy buyer options. If you’re accustomed to proxy buyers, you’ll probably already have one in mind, but for those that don’t I’ll can give a couple examples.

White Rabbit Express

White Rabbit Express is a proxy buyer that you can sign up with an email. How this works is you’ll put in your information, fill in the item info, and the people at White Rabbit will purchase it for you, pre-authorize shipping costs, receive, unpack boxes from multiple places and safely condense it into a single box.

Fees for White Rabbit are $4 per shop and $1 per item (ex. if you buy 3 items from Ebiten, it’s $6 total) and a 9.9% total charge (no tax, though)

Blackship

Blackship is a subsidiary of White Rabbit, and is instead a package forwarding service. If you are accustomed to Japanese shopping and can read/navigate everything on your own, Blackship offers you a proxy address to just send your goods to. Fundamentally, both services work the same way, where your goods arrive in a storage house and staff ships it to you (repacking is an extra fee).

Fees for Blackship are $1 per item and starts at $2 fee to ship (+ $0.50 per kilogram)

However, for this, we’re going to use White Rabbit, since it doesn’t require account approval and they do the shopping for us.

How to buy:

Enter the URL of one of the shops list above for the item and click Next ->

Under Product name, you can copy and paste the following in Japanese 機動戦士ガンダム00 タロットカードブック or you can just put in “Mobile Suit Gundam 00 Tarot Card Book”. The size is about 70x145mm and the price will depend on the shop you buy it from. Don’t worry too much if you don’t see the price on the Japanese shop page, the buyer will confirm the correct price and adjust your order with you. Once you’re done putting in the info, click “Add to Cart”.

It’ll take you to the shipping confirmation page. This page contains the info for shipping to the buyer inside Japan, not the shipping outside of the country. The Estimated Total includes the pre-approved shipping amount that is checkmarked below, along with the total service fee. This this is a single item, the minimum fee is $8. If we were to purchase 3 more things from the same shop, it would still be $8, and then it would increase from there $1 per item.

If you know how to calculate shipping from the shop, you can include it in the item price from above. That’s what I do when I’m buying things through the service just so I can pay the shipping ahead of time. Otherwise, you can also check “I want to manually approve” and what will happen is the buyer will check the shipping, come to you with the shipping cost and you will have to respond to them that you approve and pay the shipping charge before the item is purchased. If you don’t pre-approve and don’t approve when they ask, you may miss the pre-order period. If you pre-authorize the amount ($7.61 below) and the shipping is only $4 or something, you will only be charged $4 and not $7.61.

Shipping and purchase approvals in my experience are quick. If you buy something today, they will ask you for approval by tomorrow, since Japan is about 12-15 hours ahead of the US.

If you want to calculate shipping fees to your door, you can use the shipping calculator. Since this is about 7x15x4cm, and probably just under 8oz (about 200g), it will cost about $7 to ship to me in the US.

Then, once you go to checkout, you’ll be asked to sign up with an email, password, and name to set up an account. You’ll have to pay the initial amount up front, then they will work with you if there is any adjustment in price/shipping, and then you have to pay for the final shipping to your door once it received and weighed. White Rabbit is very transparent, as all proxy buyers should be. They always ask for approval before making changes to anything and don’t charge you more than the item, shipping, and rate fees. I’ve spent hundreds of dollars buying through them and they’ve always been quick and honest.

Let me know if you have any questions or need help regarding purchasing!

#gundam #gundam 00 #buying from japan #tarot cards #tarot deck #majors only #official tarot #pre-order #tarot for sale

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themurphyzone · 5 years

Text

Dooferella Ch 1

Summary: Heinz has to read to children at the local library as community service, but things go awry when Heinz uses a Fairy Tale-inator to spice up the story of Cinderella. Unfortunately, something malfunctions and Heinz is transported into a strange fairy tale world! Now Dooferella, he’s stuck with a long list of chores for his parents and goody two shoes brother until a summons from the kingdom’s headquarters arrives….

Ch 1: Once Upon a Time in the Danville Public Library

Musical cliptastic countdowns were not a viable way to knock out two hundred hours of community service. Monogram’s contract had been rewritten to include a Will Not Ever Co-Host with Heinz Doofenshmirtz clause, and Perry refused to cheat and add more hours onto the community service form, though he made a small concession and factored in the ten minutes of commercial breaks.

Heinz still had a grand total of 199 hours and 30 minutes of community service left.

Well, 198 hours and 30 minutes after this reading gig at the library.

Reading to children was something an upstanding citizen might do, but no evil scientist worth their salt would be doing something considered beneficial and good to society in such a public area.

Heinz’s evil street cred was taking a nosedive, though he didn’t have much to begin with.

“CAN I PICK THE STORY, DAD?” Norm asked. “I’VE BEEN BRUSHING UP ON POPULAR CHILDREN’S BOOKS.”

“I’m not your dad,” Heinz snapped. “I really gotta fix whatever bug is causing you to say that. Besides, the story-picking privileges belong solely to the storyteller, which is me. Last I checked, the Mother Goose Corner isn’t a democracy. Not that it would matter, since kids can’t vote and stuff.”

Norm crashed through the library wall, leaving a giant gaping hole and massive amount of rubble where the entrance used to be. The head librarian made several furious shushing motions in Norm and Heinz’s direction, but didn’t look up from the thick tome she was reading.

“CAN WE READ THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD?” Norm asked as they headed to the Mother Goose Corner. “I THINK IT’S A VERY INSPIRING STORY ABOUT OVERCOMING HARDSHIP AND-“

“Last time I read you that story, you repeated ‘I think I can’ ad nauseam and prevented Perry the Platypus from hearing my spiel on the Banana Peel-inator!” Heinz retorted. “I’ll be picking the books from here, because chances are you’ll wind up stealing a catchphrase or mantra and I’ll be the one dealing with the copyright issues that come out of that…actually, making copyrights could make a good evil scheme one day. Doof-patented self-destruct buttons, bratwurst brands, and evil! I should definitely copyright evil. And suing and forcing people to shoulder their own attorney fees is also evil, so that’s a bonus! And with that kind of monopoly, I can take over and rule the ENTIRE! TRI! STATE! AREA!”

He cackled evilly, though the moment was rudely cut off when a group of middle-aged women shushed him. Heinz scowled. Their shushing was at a way higher decibel level than his cackling. At least his brand of evil laughter didn’t threaten to destroy people’s eardrums. Besides, the drummer from Love Handel was always rhythmically stamping books at the check-in and nobody complained about that.

The Mother Goose Corner was mercifully secluded from the rest of the library. A blue curtain decorated with waterfowl separated the small room from any prying eyes.

“Perry the Platypus would love this curtain. Remind me to ask someone where I can buy one of these things. Probably wrap it up and make it this year’s Christmas present. Alongside another vase. He liked the last one I sent him,” Heinz said.

“HI, MY NAME IS NORM. I LIKE SQUIRRELS AND EVERYTHING ELSE LITTLE BOYS ENJOY,” Norm greeted a young boy with a green baseball cap. The other kids quickly flocked to the edges of the mat to avoid getting crushed by Norm’s titanium posterior.

“I’m Balthazar Horowitz, but I’m trying to legally change it to Ballpit Kid!” the boy exclaimed.

“MY DAD IS TODAY’S STORYTELLER,” Norm declared. “I’M VERY PARTIAL TO THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD. HINT HINT.”

“Real subtle, Norm,” Heinz muttered. “And for the millionth time, I’m not your dad!”

Someone tugged on his lab coat, and Heinz glanced down. A little girl with puffy blonde pigtails stared back at him, rocking back and forth on her heels cutely. “Excuse me, but may I pick today’s story?” she giggled.

She was adorable, but it was the calculating sort of adorable.

When Vanessa was little, she pulled the innocent look if she wanted something. Heinz’s resolve crumbled every time.

But since this girl was a total stranger to him, it was going to be way easier to resist.

“Nope, doesn’t matter how cute and innocent you make yourself,” Heinz said as he turned away from the girl and leafed through the stack of books by the storyteller’s chair. Thankfully, The Little Engine That Could wasn’t among their choices. “I already told Norm that I was picking today’s book and I’m not budging on the matter. Ugh, not that any of these options are any better. I don’t get how books on overeating caterpillars or uncreative ursine parents who can’t come up with better names for their kids than Brother and Sister can be engaging to kids nowadays.”

Heinz rejected five books before a tiny black shoe stomped on his hand. A pudgy hand grabbed the front of his turtleneck, and he found himself face to face with the cute little girl.

“Look, I’ll cut you some slack since you’re obviously new to the Mother Goose Corner,” the girl said casually. “But I’m going to warn you once and only once. This is my turf and I pick the stories. And don’t bother warning anyone else. The other kids won’t squeal on me. Nobody outside this room will ever believe you. Except for maybe Candace, but I have my own methods of discrediting her. Capiche?”

“Alright!” Heinz yelped, throwing up his hands in surrender. Pint-sized powerhouses were dangerous to push around, but at least Perry the Platypus was firmly on the good side. He was definitely not messing with a kid whose evil stare put the entirety of LOVEMUFFIN to shame. “You win! Just let a guy earn his community service hours in peace, kid!”

Satisfied, the girl shoved her preferred book into his face, then claimed a bean bag chair for herself. “Yay, Cinderella!” she exclaimed, as if she hadn’t just threatened him five seconds ago.

The other kids muttered among themselves, giving Suzy a wide berth as they settled on the far edge of the mat.

“Rule number one of the Mother Goose Corner,” Ballpit Kid murmured to Norm. “Little Suzy Johnson always gets her way.”

“WOW, DAD GOT FOILED AND THIS ISN’T EVEN PART OF AN EVIL SCHEME,” Norm replied.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s laugh at the soon-to-be dictator’s expense. Cause that’s gonna bode well for you in the future,” Heinz snapped as he sat down in the storyteller’s chair. “You like Cinderella, huh?”

In Heinz’s opinion, the book’s cover painted a really misleading picture of the protagonist. It contained the image of a smiling girl in a silvery ballgown, surrounded by smiling woodland critters with the Fairy Godmother and Prince Charming standing in the background.

The Drusselsteinian Cinderella was a lot bleaker, considering that the Fairy Godmother didn’t exist and Cinderella spent most of her time sobbing her eyes out over her mother’s grave. It wasn’t common knowledge that the Brothers Grimm version was adapted from the Drusselsteinian story, though they changed the ending so that the evil stepsisters were punished. The original ending stated that the evil stepsisters poisoned Cinderella at the banquet after her wedding to the prince.

In hindsight, Drusselstein fairy tales were usually designed to crush children’s dreams and traumatize them for life.

But these kids didn’t need to know that.

“She always picks Cinderella,” another girl mumbled. “We all know how it goes.”

By the time Heinz had finished the obligatory once upon a time introduction, most of the kids’ eyes glazed over. Only Norm and Suzy were paying attention.

Well, it was hard to tell if Norm was paying attention since he didn’t have facial expressions.

“Cinderella washed the dishes, fed the animals, tended the garden, swept the floor, dusted the furniture, and cooked for her stepmother and stepsisters every day and…well, you get the picture,” Heinz yawned and flipped the page, deciding to skip over the full list of chores since he was pretty sure the kids had a good understanding of Cinderella’s daily chores. “Honestly, her family isn’t even the good type of evil. They’re just jerks.”

While Heinz didn’t know of any versions of Cinderella where she was forced to pull lawn gnome duty on cold nights with only a balloon to keep her company, he didn’t think it was out of character for the stepmom.

“HER EVIL STEPSISTERS NAMED HER CINDERELLA BECAUSE SHE WAS FORCED TO SLEEP IN A FIREPLACE AMONG THE CINDERS,” Norm supplied.

“No, she doesn’t. She sleeps in a tower,” Ballpit Kid said.

“That’s too mean!” a girl wailed. “How come we call her Cinderella if it’s insulting?”

“COULD WE GET BACK TO THE STORY ALREADY?” Suzy roared, shutting up the other kids. She flopped against her beanbag chair. “Keep going, please!”

But Heinz was already getting an idea. He put the book down and brought out the Parked Car Away-inator he kept in his lab coat. Since he’d finished this device yesterday, he hadn’t encountered a parking problem where it was needed yet. But with a few minor alterations, he could easily tweak it into something that would be more useful for this situation.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think you might be onto something, Norm,” Heinz said as he switched the positions of a blue and orange wire.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT I SAID, BUT I’M GLAD I HELPED. IF I HAD A CARDIOVASCULAR AND INTEGUMENTARY SYSTEM, I WOULD BE BLUSHING.”

“We just need a more interesting medium. Cause happily ever afters get cliché once you’ve heard them a million times before. Granted, it usually ends up a happy ending for Cinderella, except in Drusselstein, but that place doesn’t lend itself well to happy endings anyway. Ah, there we go. Voila!” Heinz triumphantly held up his modified inator. “Behold! The Fairy Tale-inator!”

The Fairy Tale-inator was slightly slimmer than the Parked Car Away-inator and much easier to maneuver.

“This’ll give us a more engaging and realistic experience and make it way more interesting for all parties involved!” Heinz declared. “Besides, I forgot to bring a water bottle. I don’t want my throat to get dry while reading. I gotta keep it in good condition for my evil monologues.”

He blasted the book with his inator. A glowing blue residue clung to the cover as the beam died away. Heinz set the Fairy Tale-inator on his chair and picked up the book.

“Is that safe?” Ballpit Kid asked. “Television taught me that unnatural glows around objects aren’t a good sign.”

“Don’t worry. It shouldn’t be radioactive. You guys ready for an immersive experience?” Heinz grinned as he flipped to the first page. But instead of the moving illustrations he expected, he came face to face with a swirling blue portal. “You know, I don’t remember any portals in Cinderella. Kind of anachronistic for whatever ambiguous time period this story’s supposed to be in.”

A wind picked up from somewhere, and Heinz tucked his arms closer to his body as he shivered from the sudden chill.

“Hey, did it just get drafty in here or something? Does anyone know where the air conditioning unit is?” Heinz asked.

The wind grew stronger, sucking Heinz’s right arm into the portal like a vacuum. Heinz grabbed the edge of the book with his free hand and tried to yank it off, but only succeeded in getting his other arm stuck in the portal as well.

“Yeah, this looks and feels just about the same amount of awkward,” Heinz muttered, trying not to gasp as some unseen force tugged on his wrists insistently. “Norm, can you call Perry the Platypus for me and let him know I might be running late for the scheme tonight? Oh, and tell him there’s leftover shrimp pasta in the fridge if he’s feeling hungry. Thwarting’s not fun on an empty stomach.”

“SHOULD I SEND A DISTRESS ALERT TOO?”

Heinz scowled. “What do you mean distressed? I’m not distressed! Do I look like a damsel to you?”

Figures that the portal decided to suck Heinz’s legs and torso as well. Heinz had to crane his neck all the way back to see Norm.

His neck was gonna be really sore tomorrow.

“Alright, so I’m a little distressed,” Heinz admitted. “Looks like storytime’s over now. Man, they better let this count as part of my community service.”

Then the world spun around him in a dizzying swirl of blue and green. Heinz screamed as the wind battered him around like a rag doll, pushing him in every direction imaginable. His surroundings blurred together, becoming an indistinguishable mess of colors with no shape or form

He was pushed, pulled, tugged, yanked, and all the other synonyms that Heinz couldn’t think of because his brain wasn’t registering things properly. The sensations couldn’t have lasted more than a minute, but it felt like an eternity.

To add insult to injury, the universe decided to plop him face-first into the leftover dust and ashes of a poorly maintained fireplace.

#dooferella fanfiction #phineas and ferb #fanfiction #heinz doofenshmirtz

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