#I cannot begin to explain how many freaky things lined up

[plaidpyjamas]

local fool has startling number of coincidences happen while making two new selfship oc's, more at 11

[scenefox2003]

No, Camila is not a good mother. And here’s why.

Yes, this sounds like a very harsh statement, but hear me out. Camila, on the surface, seems like a decent and loving mother, especially when compared to say, the Blights, who are much more obviously and stereotypically terrible. But from the very beginning she displays some VERY toxic and harmful behaviors towards her daughter Luz. Her sort of parenting, even though she has good intentions, can do some horrifying and long lasting damage to the mental health and self esteem of a child. How do I know? My mother was exactly like Camila. And like Luz, I still loved her. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t do some serious harm. And those same things are happening to Luz right now.

First up, let’s state the obvious. Luz is neurodivergent. This isn’t even just coding, either. Dana Terrace has outright stated this is her intention. And like many neurodivergent kids and teens, she often gets in trouble in school without realizing why. The things she does are still bad, of course, and she still needs to face the consequences of her actions and learn why they’re not okay. The first two things she does (going a bit too far in the school play and doing that freaky eye thing at cheer tryouts) aren’t even that bad, but her bringing spiders, snakes, and fireworks to school are obviously huge issues. Those last three are obviously cartoonishly crazy acts that have been played up by the writers for humor and to get the idea across, but even if we take this all at face value Camila’s handling of the situation is STILL HORRIBLE. Notice what she criticizes here. Not the fact that her daughter brought dangerous animals and explosives to school, but her love of fantasy. Yes, they’re related, but Luz’s love of fantasy can still exist without her breaking school rules. Not only that, but taking Luz’s neurodivergency into account here, The Good Witch Azura and other fantasy tales are clearly a special interest or hyperfixation of hers. Her love of Azura goes much farther than that of a normal neurotypical fangirl, she uses this character to help navigate through her life. She chooses to stay on the boiling aisles because Eda and King remind her of characters from the book. She chooses to take the risk and try to befriend her rival, Amity, because that’s what Azura did. Even in season two, when she’s talking about her future, she states Eda and Azura as her role models. Not to infantilize Luz (trust me, that’s the last thing I want to do) but this level of connection to a fictional character is unusual for a fourteen year old who just really likes something. Luz clearly uses this character as guidance in a world she doesn’t understand (which funny enough, is both the boiling aisles and earth) and what does Camila do?

She forces her to LITERALLY throw it away. Right before she has to go to a scary and uncomfortable place for THREE MONTHS, that SHE FORCED HER TO GO TO. That’s the time when Luz would need that special interest the most. It isn’t just a book she loves. It’s a coping mechanism, a genuinely harmless and positive part of her life, that she is shamed for. Being shamed for an interest or hyperfixation is such a terrible feeling I can’t even begin to describe it. But if you’re neurodivergent, you know what I’m talking about. What makes it even worse is that Luz literally cannot control what she loves. She can’t just find a new hobby, not that she should even have to, because when you have a special interest or hyperfixation, that thing becomes such a huge part of your life. And most of the time, it’s such an amazing and wonderful thing. And for Luz, it clearly is. Azura LITERALLY LED HER TO FORMING THE STRONGEST RELATIONSHIPS IN HER LIFE, with Eda, King, and Amity. That’s huge, considering Luz clearly has a lot of trouble forming friendships back in the human world. Luz’s love of fantasy is not a problem. Her “weirdness” is not a problem. But that’s what Camila sends her to camp for. To change her interests, her personality, not her actions. That, and for something even worse.

This line hurts my soul. I don’t even have to explain why this is an awful thing for a mother to say to her daughter, it speaks for itself. But I’m gonna explain anyway. Luz doesn’t have any friends. But that’s clearly not her fault. Just look at what happens when she goes to the boiling aisles and FINALLY meets like minded people. She makes tons of friends without changing at all, because Luz is a genuinely good person with a great personality. She’s kind, excitable, and always eager to help others. This is INCLUDED with her “weirdness”, and often directly related to it. Luz is not the only weird person that exists, even in the human world. I had pretty much no close friends as a kid, then I switched to a school full of open minded (and many queer and neurodivergent) people, and now I have TONS of friends who are just like me, who like the same things, that I didn’t have to change myself at all for. This is how real healthy friendships work. And the sad thing is, Luz wouldn’t even HAVE to go to the boiling aisles for this to happen! If Camila really wanted Luz to make friends, all she would have to do is send her to some sort of fantasy or roleplaying camp full of people like her who share her interests. But instead of blaming the judgy bullies for why Luz doesn’t have any friends, she blames Luz for just. Being herself and liking some unconventional stuff. This is so, SO disgusting and harmful. It can lead to so many problems, destroy yourself esteem, and ironically enough it makes it HARDER TO MAKE FRIENDS. Forcing yourself to be someone else to make someone you’re not really compatible with like you just doesn’t work. Believe me, I’ve tried. This is LITERALLY HAPPENING TO LUZ RIGHT NOW. IN THE MOST RECENT EPISODE SHE NEARLY RUINED HER CHANCE WITH AMITY BECAUSE PEOPLE HAD MADE HER FEEL WEIRD ABOUT HER INTERESTS AND PERSONALITY IN THE PAST. That’s why I’m making this post, even though I’ve thought this for a long time. The damage the human world has done to Luz is starting to show. Even after all these months of being loved for being herself and proudly being an advocate for being weird, that instinct is still there. And it lasts. For years. I’m eighteen years old, I’ve been in a supportive environment for six years now, and my parents have been fully supportive of me and my interests and quirks for two. But that instinct doesn’t go away. The deep rooted shame whenever you do something harmless that’s outside the norm, something you were directly told not to by the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally doesn’t go away. And Camila, the only person Luz truly cares about, perpetuated that. And that’s truly awful. I get it. Parents aren’t always perfect. But this is beyond imperfect. It reminds me of a line from Gwendolyn in Keeping Up A-fear-ances. “Your curse is a part of you, and I love every part of you.” Camila clearly loves Luz, but she doesn’t love every part of Luz. And in order to truly love someone, you must fully love them, quirks and all. I hope we get to see Camila learn this before the show ends, but most of all I hope that the show openly states that her parenting is awful. It could save so many kids from so many years of pain and an inferiority complex.

[mikaze-discord]

OG Heavens: Love letters

For these Heavens posts, I had reached out to a few people who just never ended up responding. With projects like these, please at least hear them out, you don't have to do it because I know its a huge project but at least tell them you won't be doing it instead of ghosting them. But apart from that little road block, this project was really fun!!

Please enjoy under the cut!!!!

EIICHI OTORI

From @milkmateartist:

I have always leaned towards megane characters and Eiichi is no exception. However, it's not often you see idols wearing glasses, and that is something I appreciate about Eiichi's design. His color palette also intrigues me since I love deep shades of blue. His royal blue jacket is very attractive, and the way he pops the collar also makes me go "kya!".  His voice is also very sexy as well and is pleasing to the ear uwu. I love how egoistic he is too. Being incredibly ambitious he has been able to reach amazing heights that surpass other idols. The one thing that seems to make him unique though is that he really gets zealous and overly passionate when it comes to the power of music, so much that it makes him physically tremble. You could get high off that shit literally. His entire being is centered around being an idol, and all the components of him go above and beyond the requirements. It's not just a job for him or something that simply makes an earning or brings satisfaction. It's pretty much everything to him. For that reason he has made it to the top. There is also the component where he's lonely and isolated emotionally that interests me. Despite being a beloved idol, he clearly didn't get the love he needed growing up. Even though he had Eiji I feel as though his nature was more to protect Eiji and shield him from whatever terrors would arise. I admire his ability to come through all of that and pay attention to the things he really cared about. Eiichi can be himself, his strange, sexy self, but also he acknowledges the lonesome darkness within too. I think that component makes him incredibly powerful.

Extra Details:

While appearing to be a bad guy in the anime (at least), Eiichi seemed to be that typical bad boy idol that would steal away Haruka from the main group. The time when he approached Haruka and took her by the chin is a perfect example. How dare this new guy just think he can have his way with our protagonist!  To be honest I liked that aspect about him a bit. While I can't remember my first impression of Eiichi aside from not knowing how to feel about that, he slowly grew on me. He had the appearance of just another selfish idol, demonstrated by swiping the mic away from the announcer at one of his concerts and immediately declaring their foreseen victory. So far that looked rather bland to me, and I was still cheering for STARISH. They really made him out to look like some bad guy who would not play fair and do whatever he could to take the throne (and the girl).  It's not surprising his glasses shine adds to his 'freaky antagonist' vibe that the show seemed to try to give off, but however for me I love the glasses beam, thus having the opposite effect.

And then there is the Next Door episode. Now here's where we got to see more of Eiichi aside from when the HEAVENS Dragon demolished the entire stadium. Aside from kya-ing over the EiichiOtoya content (especially where he goes behind otoya and covers his eyes), I got to see more of him here. It surprised me that someone so cocky and confident was actually the same depressed, lonely person that Otoya was. But it was also evident to me as well that he did care about the effect it had on Otoya as well after he sort-of-well mind broke him. I like how he is ambitious but also still caring, as compared to an antagonist that would stop at nothing to achieve their goal regardless of how much pain they cause.

I also enjoy Eiichi because I feel like I can roleplay him well. Usually for me, roleplay has to achieve some kind of goal since I tend to be business oriented. I think to some degree I'm able to practice being a eboy idol through Eiichi, as I do enjoy charming the fans. It also helps that I can naturally play characters with an inflated ego who enjoy charming people.

From @/egoisticCEO on twt:

July 2019. When Eiichi was first introduced to me via his voice, I hated him from the very beginning. His singing, his appearance, his personality – everything about him made me despise him. It’s funny looking back and seeing how quickly my attitude changed towards him, realising I’d been biased against him because of a friend. Finding more about him, hate turned to interest. It seemed like his life hadn’t been the best. Maybe that was why he acted in such a way? Interest turned to liking him more. Maybe I’d misunderstood him. I’d made the mistake of taking him at surface level.

December 2019. Like was slowly turning to love. More and more, I found myself looking at him instead of my current favourites. I found myself wanting him to actually be a part of Egoistic. Once I started devouring HEAVENS Radio and unveiling his true character, it was shocking how quickly I fell. He truly acted like a father to everyone in his band. Giving them what he never received. Everything was for them to thrive.

2020. With how much I was at home, it only made sense I grew more obsessed. I found Life with Thanks’ translation. “We’re irreplaceable to him,” he tells us, and that made me certain that his heart wasn’t as evil as some people liked to believe. He’s a caretaker, someone who wants everyone to feel like they matter. Even at his own expense. Instead of selfish, he’s selfless.

I related to him more than I have to any character – it was comforting. Seeing someone have no choice but to put on a brave face, even when his confidence was at an all time low. 2020 got a lot harder for me, but when I recovered, Eiichi was like a home to go back to. Time and time again, I’d have to break away, but I’d always be invited back in by that stupid smirk and overexaggerated ego and the warmest heart you could ever find. Every scene I watched with him would make me smile. I’d tease him to myself. I still do.

2021. That brings us to now. I can’t see my love for this one of a kind man dying any time soon. I don’t want it to, either. Just looking at him makes me happy! He’s the type of character with so many facets to his personality that you can keep digging and never reach the end. So, in conclusion, I hope I never stop finding new things out about this wonderful idiot. More than anything, he deserves all the love he gives to others, and I’d love to provide it tenfold.

KIRA SUMERAGI

From Anon: 

Many have their reasons to love their favorite characters. As for me, why Kira Sumeragi is my favorite character is because there are several things about him that I can relate myself to and there are a few qualities he has that I like about him. If many do not know about Kira that much, they’d look at who he is. He may look intimidating at first and may not talk much, when in actuality, Kira is a considerate, dependable, and mindful guy. Mainly, he is the type of guy that lets his actions do the explaining. He is a hard worker, as an idol, he looks after his bandmates, HEAVENS, like family. It’s like what Eiichi said in HEAVENS Radio about Kira, “he is HEAVENS’ pride!” Although he may not say much, Kira is very observant of his surroundings and never hesitates in his decisions. The members of HEAVENS understand and acknowledge Kira, knowing that he means well.

You can even tell in his solo music! Although there are only two solo songs for Kira, if you read the lyrics carefully, Kira’s thoughts and feelings are shown. Kira always knew that if he cannot explain his feelings through words, then he’ll let his songs and his actions do it for him for you to see.  Although the anime doesn’t show much of Kira, the only way to get to know him more is through HEAVENS Radio, also drama CDs like Paradise Lost, and other media like LINE Messenger Japan. There’s still much that I’d want to know about him, but as a start, these things are what makes Kira my favorite character for HEAVENS.

From Anon: 

Aside from my huge bias towards OnoD the first thing that drew my attention to Kira was his design. Dark haired anime boys with bright eyes have such a vibe and I loved how mysterious he was set up to be in season 2. But the thing that really hooked me a lot was the found family that Heavens became over the progression of the anime.

Particularly since people in the fandom have a bunch of funky headcanons about Kira being the mom friend in the group, which is incredibly wholesome. Kira’s very quiet and reserved but clearly holds a deep caring for his group members and does what he can when needed which is one of the reasons why he became so loveable for me.

NAGI MIKADO

From @/_PXRFECTIONIST on twt: 

If I managed to stan Nagi, so will you.

Greetings. I present to you, once more, a story of how I came to love a character that I wished I threw hands with.

So.

Nagi Mikado.

The possible only utapri character that Shinomiya oshis despise. Thanks to what happened in the anime.

Truth be told, I too was one of them. Until I came to love Both Shinomiya and Nagi. Reason?

Research.

Ya see, it is universally agreed upon that the way Nagi was pushing and pulling at Shinomiya's trauma and DID was… Not okay. So I said "yeah okay what an obnoxious kid i dont think ill ever like him lol" especially since I never come to really warm up to people younger than me.

Boy was I wrong.

My heart really sways easily when I go deep into characters, and why they act the way they are. And also because I chose to roleplay as him, but let's not. Speak of that.

(its actually the main reason i like him in the first place who am i fooling)

Nagi is… Indeed obnoxious, and really has bad manners that are covered up by his cute looks and fame, especially since he's one of the original HEAVENS members, but once you get to really know him.. It makes sense why he's being such a brat. And that is sort of endearing. And knowing how his group is like family to him too, it becomes harder and harder to completely dislike him.

….

He really is a boss man.

He knows what he wants, and how to get it. He knows how to get people to like him without handing over the tiniest sliver of his weaknesses. He acts in his own way that shapes his personality to suit him, yet still manages to be caring and helpful, even if it's hard to see tenderness and good will through his aggression.

Reading his solo lyrics, listening to the drama CDs, even thinking of headcanons due to lack of lore, it all slowly comes together like a lovely parfait to suddenly make you realize..

'Wow…'

'I really do like that rat.

[houseisekai]

House Miisekai Prologue: The Adventure Begins!

House Miisekai Masterlist Here

====

Our story begins in the land of Miisekaitopia! (No, I couldn't think of a better name.)

It is a world where everyone from both storylines and unholy amounts of AU's can live in peace without worrying about wars breaking out every 4 seconds.

At least it was.

The darkness came without warning, a great and terrible shadow threatening all of Miisekaitopia! An unspeakably huge dick came and stole everyone's faces! Then, to add insult to injury, put those faces onto monsters across the land!

But, we shall follow the perspective of Sara Valestein, Instructor of Class VII and the original House Isekai...

Sara casually strolled through the hills, enjoying the sunlight and wind blowing gently across her.

(Sara) "...Goddess I am so bored."

She had been kicked out of yet another bar recently for drinking too much.

Again.

Left with nothing to do, she decided to take a trip to nowhere in particular, going wherever fate took her.

Sara continued muttering to herself, mocking the established "rules" for drinking in a tavern until she noticed something flying in the air.

(Sara) "Is...that a face?"

She rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't seeing things, and saw the eyes slowly float over to a nearby butterfly.

(Sara) "Uh...?"

(Sara) "GAH!"

The horrific creature began floating faster towards Sara, which prompted her to run full speed ahead towards the closest town.

As she ran out of breath, she ran towards anyone would even take a minute to listen.

(Sara) "H-Hey, there's some freaky bug thing out there with a human face!"

BE-LOP!

Tiny lines of text ran down the guide's face.

It showed too many messages at once for her to properly read it, and the person remained completely still.

(Sara) "...Hello?"

(Everyone) "..."

(Sara) "...Right."

Sara moved to the next person she saw.

...

Sara saw a platypus with a name tag 'Perry' calmly sitting on the market stall.

(Sara) "Hello, anyone here?"

The platypus stared at her, not saying a word.

(Sara) "...What in the hell is with this town?"

Next try. That would probably work.

...

(Anakin) "What did we get ourselves into this time?"

(Obi-Wan) "I'm not sure but...I do not like this a single bit."

(Anakin) "At least you're in a taller body, my head barely reaches your stomach!"

(Obi-Wan) "It's not the first time."

(Sara) "Hey, excuse me ma'aaaaaaaaaa...What in the?"

(Anakin) "Listen lady, we got our own problems right now. We're not in the mood-"

(Obi-Wan) "What my young padawan means is that we unfortunately cannot spare any help if you need it ma'am."

(Sara) "...Evidently."

Sara nervously walked away from the two grown men in a child and woman's body.

(Sonia) "Did we get transported again?"

(Gundham) "By the works of dark magic, no doubt..."

(Sonia) "Oh, looks like there's someone over there. Hello ma'am, do you know where we are?"

(Sara) "Eh?...Huh. That's a good question. Where is this?"

(Sonia) "Oh well, I'm a bit more comfortable knowing that someone I like is with me here!"

(Gundham) "I...uh...er..."

(Sara) "That's cute. Ah, to be young again..."

Sara left the two to talk amongst themselves before finding the next...person?

It was an extremely fat rabbit that was grey and white.

(Sara) "What in the hell-"

BIG BIG CHUNGUS, BIG CHUNGUS, BIG-

(Sara) "Okay, screw that."

Sara finally saw the mayor and approached him, and when he turned she almost jumped.

It was a Piranha plant. She thought so anyway, it was covered in white polka dots and bright red.

(Plant) "Ah, welcome to the town miss?"

(Sara) "Uh, Sara. Sara Valestein. Listen, there's this weird face that attached itself to a butterfly outside your place! You're gonna do something right?"

(Plant) "Did...did you say a face float down? OH NO."

(Familiar Man's voice) "OH YES."

(Sara) ?

(Anakin) "Uh, master?"

(Obi-Wan) "I've got a bad feeling about this..."

The platypus, fat rabbit, and the discord notification looked up into the skies, getting increasingly alarmed.

(Gundham) "THIS DARKNESS...IT'S...IT'S OVERWHELMING!"

(Sonia) "His voice sounds grating like Souda's..."

(Plant) "COINS PRESERVE US! IT'S..."

[Imperial Will - Final Fantasy XIV OST]

(Dark Lord Chris) "KNEEL BEFORE YOUR GOD, AND OFFER YOUR FACES UNTO ME!"

(Sara) "...Faces? You mean like services or...?"

(Anakin) "Maybe that's metaphorical?"

(Obi-Wan) "I'm not sure I want to find out-"

(Chris) "NO, YOU REALLY DON'T. ALSO NO. I MEAN IT LITERALLY!"

Several faces began to fly off the townspeople.

First was the platypus's face, quickly followed by the discord notification and Anakin's.

(Obi-Wan) "ANAKIN!"

Then it was Sonia and the fat rabbit's faces that floated next to Chris.

(Gundham) "AAAAAAAGH!"

(Plant) "OH MY GOD, THIS IS HORRIBLE!"

(Sara) "Can someone tell me what the hell is happening?!-"

(Chris) "THESE NOW BELONG TO ME! NOW, GO TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU'VE SEEN HERE, FOR I WILL BE COMING FOR THEM NEXT!"

Chris flew off into the skies, the faces following closely behind.

(Sara) "What an asshole!"

(Plant) "ADVENTURER, PLEASE YOU HAVE TO HELP US!"

(Sara) "Right uh..."

Sara reached for her sword and pistol, which was nowhere to be found.

(Sara) "Well, that's just great..."

Obi-Wan struggled to walk over to here, still not accustomed to his body and looked at Sara.

(Obi-Wan) "Ma'am, I'm afraid I cannot go into battle myself to assist with this matter. And we don't appear to have our weapons either..."

(Sara) "So, what do you reckon I do? Ask nicely?"

...

(Sara) "Damn it."

OUTSIDE OF TOWN...

Chris was floating away from the town when Sara finally caught up to him.

(Sara) "HEY, JACKASS!"

(Chris) "...Oh, you mean me. I-I mean, OH, IS SOMEONE TRYING TO BE THE HERO NOW?"

(Sara) "Don't play smart with me you glasses wearing freak! Give back their faces!"

(Chris) "Or what? You're going to fight me?"

Sara cracked her knuckles.

(Chris) "...Oh shit. Uh, here have it."

The face slowly floated over to a slime, which reattached itself and began hopping towards Sara.

(Anakin's voice) "OH MAN, I THOUGHT THE KID BODY WAS BAD!"

(Chris) "Uh anyways, LATER!"

Chris quickly flew away from Sara, leaving her and Anakin's face on a slime.

(Sara) "Alright, LET'S GO!"

Sara drove her fist into the slime, which quickly bounced off.

(Sara) "...Oh right. It's a slime."

The slime retaliated by knocking Sara onto her back.

(Anakin's voice) "Sorry!"

(Sara) "Damn, my weapons aren't anywhere to be found either!

"I AM THOU...THOU ART I..."

(Sara) "Oh, what is it now-HURK?!"

Sara reached for her head as the voice boomed thunderously.

"THOU ART...Okay, no we're not rhyming. I'm your guardian spirit, Sara!"

(Sara) "Really now? And where were you during Erebonia?!"

"ANYWAYS, it seems you're in a bit of trouble! Do you need some help?"

(Sara) "It's either getting help or getting killed by a damn slime of all things, so...Yeah, sure."

"Good choice! Now, I bestow upon you the awesome power of the guardian!"

(Sara) "You're gonna explain later where I got this from, right?"

"That depends, do you want the plot to get moving? Our other posts are slowed down as it is, and this has gotten too meta in just the first few lines of this."

(Sara) "Ugh, fine."

Sara's outfit shined forth and became donned in armor, wielding a new sword.

(Sara) "Hey, you cheap bastard, where's my gun?!"

"This is a fantasy RPG, why would you get a gun? Just kill the damn slime already!"

(Anakin's voice) "WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?!"

(Sara) "Hold on, I'll getcha outta there, HIYA!"

[COOL QUIRK: WEAK POINT]

Sara took one swing of her sword and smacked the slime into the floor, it quickly disappearing.

Anakin's face floated off the slime and back to the town.

"That was..."

(Sara) "Really anti-climatic."

"You should uh...probably go back to the town and check up on Anakin."

INSIDE OF TOWN...

Anakin's face slowly floated back onto the child's body, making him trip over.

(Anakin) "AGH!"

(Obi-Wan) "So, how was it?"

(Anakin) "I was just put into a slime's body, how do you think I feel?!"

(Obi-Wan) "Same as usual, got it."

Obi-Wan turned to Sara, who now looked like a proper knight.

(Obi-Wan) "You have our thanks for helping us, Miss?"

(Sara) "Name's Sara."

(Anakin) "Thanks for helping me out there. What are you gonna do? We'd join you but our bodies would just get in the way."

(Sara) "I'm going to uh...Hey, what is the plan?"

"What do you think? You're the only hero in a fantasy land."

(Obi-Wan) "Is she alright?"

(Anakin) "Yeah, she started doing this earlier, no idea what's up with it."

(Sara) "Might as well go after the others, see what happens I guess. Anyways, I'll be back once I restored this town, until then!"

Sara held onto her sheathe and ran out of the town, those still faceless watching her leave.

(Gundham) "Please hurry. Sonia is...unsettling me."

(Plant) "Miss Valestein, you're our only hope...!"

(Anakin) "Think she'll be okay? That talking thing is really concerning me."

(Obi-Wan) "Probably...?"

[Chase Me - Faky]

(Sara) "Right so...do I just go forward?"

"Where did you see him fly off to?"

(Sara) "Was a lot more focused on trying NOT to get murdered by the slimes."

"It was just a slime, you've killed enemy mechs and demonic beasts like it was nothing!"

(Sara) "That's when I had my weapons and ARCUS unit!"

"..Still. Should've had no problem. I probably didn't even have to interfere."

(Sara) "Good goddess, am I going to be stuck with you? Actually WHO even are you?"

"The narrator! In a sense anyway."

(Sara) "What-"

And so begins the tale of Sara Valestein and her quest to defeat the Dark Lord Chris!

What friends will she encounter on the way?

How much of the meta can we break more than we have?

How many more jokes will the writer run into the ground as this series goes on?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME, ON HOUSE MIISEKAI!

(Sara) "...What?!"

STARRING:

And yours truly as the antagonist for this story!

Here's to some more god-awful written meme stories like this one, everyone!

[mnthpprt]

Chapter 45: Skeletons In The Garden

It has been almost a week since I decided to give William a chance. More than that, I decided to earn his trust, no matter what it took. I think I am succeeding so far, but there is a price I have to pay. With every day we spend together in town, with every night we join our bodies into one, we become closer. Just as I have gained his trust, he is beginning to gain mine. I have to constantly remind myself why I came here, but then he looks at me with that smile, that light in his eyes... It takes all my effort not forget the reason I agreed to be with him in the first place.

I sleepily stumble around the kitchen in search of the jar of ground coffee, wearing nothing but William’s dressing gown. I borrowed it again last night to head back to my bedroom and fell asleep in it. Though the sleeves are way too long for me, the fabric is luxurious and soft, and I have taken up the habit of stealing it after our nightly activities.

A few minutes ago, William woke me up without bothering to knock on my door.  He said we were going somewhere, but did not explain any further. I was too tired to ask. Though it is not that early, I have been having more trouble sleeping than usual, and I have the feeling it has nothing to do with my new vampiric condition. Fuck, this man drives me insane in every way possible: I either want to kiss him, break his nose, or both. That last one gets very confusing, and usually ends up involving lots of bites from me, out of anger, and from him, in retaliation. 

I pour a cup for him before taking my coffee up to my bedroom. I stare at my clothes, which are laid out on the bed, as I drink it. I have been putting off returning to the mansion for my stuff, but I do need more dresses. I would also like to resume my research, so I’ll have to borrow some books for that.

When I return downstairs, empty cup in hand and hair loosely braided, William is waiting for me on the sofa. He offers me a bottle of rouge, and I pet Puck as I take it.

“Today is the troupe’s day off,” I observe.

“I know,” he simply replies. Where is he taking me? As if he could read my mind, he smiles and sips his rouge before explaining. “Dost thou remember how I wanted thee to meet someone?”

I nod, but narrow my eyes as the implication sinks in. Either he really trusts me enough to introduce me to his deranged accomplice, or this is his way to get rid of me once and for all. Sure, he has been nothing but charming and sweet since I moved into his house, but this is William. If there is a God, even He doesn’t know what he’s plotting.

An hour later, our carriage pulls up next to an old church. From the outside, I see no signs of it being used. It looks rather abandoned. However, as we approach the entrance, I catch the scent of burning candles, meaning there must be people inside. What is this place?

The wooden door creaks loudly when William pushes it open, just enough for us to pass through. Once inside, he closes it behind us.

“Please lock that, will you?” a man’s voice chimes from the altar. I cannot see him, but I hear glass tinkering behind the decorative screen in the back.

“Do not worry, we shall be quick,” William says, but obliges anyway. Great, now I am trapped here with a stranger who might have killed me.

He takes my hand and guides me down the nave. Our steps echo ominously under the high stone arches, and I have to take a deep breath to relax. Do not show them you are nervous, Anaïs, for they might take it the wrong way. For God’s sake, act normal.

We walk past the altar and into the ambulatory, where the stranger in question seems to have set up a lab of sorts, packed with all kinds of flasks, beakers, and, uh... medical equipment. Creepy. He is slightly taller than William, slender and dressed in clothing as black as his hair, and wears glasses with a chain around his neck.

“What do we have here?” he asks with a malicious grin that gives me shivers. He has a mild German accent. “Is this the neophyte you mentioned? She would make a fine guinea pig...”

“No, thank you.” He raises an eyebrow at my quick reply, while William chuckles and wraps his arm around my waist.

“My nightshade, this is Johann Georg Faust. Johann, meet Anaïs.”

“Faust like the legend?”

“The very same,” William smiles.

“Oh. Nice to meet you, I guess. So, um... What are you doing there?” I ask, pointing at the collection of scribbled on papers and lab equipment.

“Nothing you need to concern yourself with, fräulein Anaïs. I am sure you would find my experiments rather tedious...”

I ignore the condescending tone of his answer. A sculpture behind him has caught my eye. Faust interrupts his deceivingly polite excuse when I march past him to approach it.

“Oh, hell no,” I mumble. “María, cariño, ¿qué te han hecho? (Mary, honey, what have they done to you?)”

 I reach up to touch the Virgin’s gilded coat and, sure enough, the gold leaf crumbles in my fingers, leaving behind a glittery mess. I turn to the bespectacled man, only for my look of indignation to be met with his, equal parts intrigued and offended.

“She’s falling apart! See?” I show the golden dust on my palm to the two men. “I need to fix this before it gets-” Oh no he didn’t. Right beside Faust, on his work table, I see a clean rag neatly folded beside a bottle of clear liquid. ‘Carbolic acid’, the label reads. I bring the cloth to my nose and immediately put two and two together. “You wiped it with phenol?!” I exclaim, incredulous, as I furiously wave the rag around. “I don’t know why you needed to disinfect poor Mary over here in the first place, but for fuck’s sake, don’t do it again. God, no wonder everyone hates this stupid century, y’all discover something and decide to use it for everything without ever thinking about what it might do.”

“Everyone?” William asks, confused.

“This century?” Faust says almost at the same time.

“In my line of work, I mean,” I explain, completely ignoring the second question. I am not sure how safe it would be for me to mention that I come from the future. “Seriously, the amount of damage I’ve had to undo is insane. Why you people use so many questionable compounds is beyond me. Can I borrow a scalpel?”

“You came through the door,” Faust states. Shit, I guess he knows about it.

“Yes, I’m from the future,” I sigh, before grabbing a scalpel myself, not bothering to wait for permission.

I return my focus to the sculpture and carefully examine it. The state it is in is poorer than I had previously noticed. Judging by the proportions, it looks gothic. That makes it around 300 years old at least. Though the passage of time has obviously taken its toll, I have no doubt that its degradation has been made worse by well-meaning yet ignorant attempts at preserving it. Or, in Faust’s case, by his attempt to prep the area for whatever freaky surgical shit he has going on here. I must admit, the fact that he allegedly sold his soul to the devil for knowledge does not exactly reassure me about his intentions.

“The year 2020, to be exact,” I continue as I awkwardly manoeuvre around the sculpture to scrape some paint and gesso off the back in order to check the state of the wood underneath. “I’m guessing you’re not a pureblood... Do you know how to use a shotgun, by any chance?” I ask casually without looking up from my delicate task.

“Is this about Salieri?” Judging by Faust’s tone, I can tell he is rolling his eyes. “That would be Charles,” he sighs. Whoever this Charles is, Faust sounds like a bored babysitter. He has no interest in the conversation whatsoever. “May I have my scalpel back? You’re going to blunt it.”

“I’m almost done.” I manage to cut a cross section just in time to see him approach and forcibly take the sharp object from my hand. I then make my way back to the work table and search for what I need, carefully holding the thin slice of wood and gesso between my fingers. “Do you have a... What are they called, those round looky things with the handle?”

“Magnifying glass,” William aids.

“Yeah, that. Actually,” I change my mind when I see a pile of neatly stacked glass slides, “I’m gonna take one of these. I forgot that microscopes already exist. Where is yours, anyway?”

“Safely locked away,” the alchemist deadpans. Oh well, it looks like I’ll have to save my sample for later, then.

William takes my hand and gently ushers me away from the improvised lab, I assume to stop me from annoying its owner any further. Though he acts polite, I can tell it is nothing more than a weak façade that could drop any second.

“My dearest,” he says, “we should move on to the reason of our visit?”

“Vlad, was it?” I nod. He merely mentioned the name in passing days ago, but I have hung onto that minuscule snippet of information like my life depends on it. It might.

He leads me to a discrete door nestled in the corner of the transept to our left. Before we can reach it, however, Faust calls out from behind the altar.

“I look forward to studying you, fräulein.”

“Well, I do not!” I sing in response. He lets out an unnerving chuckle that I decide to ignore.

I follow William through the door and up a dark staircase. As we walk along the hallway, I get the feeling that he does not know exactly where he is leading me, either. Still, he finds the person he was looking for inside a small room. It looks like it had been used for storage in the past, but now is completely empty save for a desk and a few chairs. The white haired man sitting on one of them looks up when we enter through the already open door. This must be him. The pureblood that is going after the residents.

He is strikingly beautiful, despite the unnervingly red shade of his eyes. Dressed in expensive clothes, he moves elegantly to greet me. I instinctively do the polite thing and offer my hand for him to hold.

“Anaïs Bertran, I presume?” His voice is slightly breathy, and as delicately controlled as his poise. “You are as beautiful as a rose.”

I do not dare to complain out loud, but I give William an exasperated look, causing him to laugh. I smack his arm.

“Stop being a dickhead,” I scold him, even though I have to hold back a smile.

“Ah, I see you have thorns as well,” the other man chuckles. “It is rare for such a pretty flower to be so foul mouthed. I must confess I appreciate it, it adds character. Was that some kind of joke between you two?”

“I guess you could call it that,” I sigh. “I just think there are more interesting flowers to be compared to.”

“Such as?” he prompts.

“I don’t know, lisianthus, dahlias... Sunflowers are pretty nifty, and I’ve always liked orchids. People tend to think they’re really hard to grow, for some reason, but they just need a bit of attention and the right amount of light. Chrysanthemums are also really cool...” I ramble.

“Those are an old favorite of mine, but not as much as roses, I’m afraid. Do you enjoy gardening?”

“Is it that obvious?” I chuckle, embarrassed. “But yeah, I worked as a florist for a few years.”

“Oh?” he smiles. “I own a flower shop in town. I sense we are going to get along well, Anaïs. Oh my, how rude of me! I forgot to introduce myself. You may call me Vlad.”

“Well, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” I politely say before tilting my head. “I have to say, I find it a bit strange to be here, speaking to you. I mean, you sent a sniper after Salieri to stop him from revealing your identity, yet here we are, being formally introduced,” I remark.

“Yes, I am well aware of the incident that took place. Quite a fortunate outcome you got, don’t you think?”

“If by fortunate you mean bleeding out in a sewer, then sure, but I beg to differ.” A cold smile accompanies my response. Not only did dying obliterate any semblance of a schedule I had, it also caused me to be turned into... this. I have nothing against vampires, but I’d rather not go through the pain of being a neophyte, or whatever these people call it. 

“Pardon my crudeness, but isn’t that what happens when you jump in front of a bullet that is not meant for you?” Vlad quips.

“Yeah... That is the stupidest thing I have ever done, can’t argue with that logic,” I mutter, resigned. “By the way, if you’re gonna play with gunpowder inside a tunnel, I’d recommend finding another one that isn’t full of highly flammable methane gas. Just a tip,” I wink.

Our tense exchange is interrupted by a knock on the door frame. Under it stands another man with a boyish smile and shaggy hair.

“I bought those strawberries you- Oh.” He pauses when he sees me, his eyes growing wide in recognition. “Hello there.”

“Are you Charles?” I innocently ask, approaching him. When he nods, I smirk. 

There is no warning when I grab his jacket and shoot my knee into his groin at full force. I hear William’s incredulous snort behind me, along with a muffled chuckle belonging to Vlad.

“Argh, putain!” Charles groans, folding over in pain. I observe him as I wait for him to recover. “Why?” he cries from the floor. I simply pull my dress down to reveal the scar on my cleavage. His mouth opens and closes quickly, not knowing what to say.

“Sorry, just had to get that out of my system,” I explain with no trace in my voice of the violence I just displayed. “I’m Anaïs,” I smile, offering my hand. He takes it, and I pull him to his feet. The boyish grin returns to his face as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck.

“I am so sorry about shooting you, it was an accident. You jumped out of nowhere! I didn’t even want to in the first place, but- Ehem, sorry.”

I follow his gaze when he suddenly interrupts himself with a fake cough. Vlad’s eyes are slightly narrowed in what I can only assume is a look of warning. Okay, something’s going on. Well, yet another thing, on top of the long list of unexplained actions from this strange group of people.

“Don’t worry about it,” I say before the silence becomes awkward, “we’re even now.” I turn to the pureblood and look at him inquisitively. “Anyway, I have a lot of questions. I don’t want to judge until I know exactly what your intentions are for doing whatever it is you’re doing. I have to admit I am finding it hard to keep my emotions under control, so we better get on with it, yeah?”

I do not need to justify my volatile state. Vlad knows perfectly well that he was the one to cause it.

[neo-nymph]

NCT NSFW A-Z: Taeyong

A/N: SOOOO many people were waiting for this lmao. Hope you guys enjoy im high-key worried this won’t satisfy ahahahahahah :]

Also while writing this I've rediscovered my love for Paramore. I forgot how much I love their shit it’s so good 10/10 would recommend.

A – Aftercare

S O F T I E. Acts like you’re the most valuable person in the world after. Touches his forehead to yours with his eyes closed basing in the afterglow, and opens them to gaze over you and immerse silently in his love for you. He touches you with gentle hands as if he were handling a piece of glass because he doesn’t want to irritate any part of your body that he already angered.

Keeps some bottles of water and some light snacks in the bedside table so he doesn’t have to leave you to get anything afterward. If you’re not too tired he’ll start a bath for the two of you; doesn’t give himself a second thought and spend 90% of the bath cleaning you up. Makes sure to moisturize your skin and dress you in some light clothes, probably one of his shirts and some soft panties.

B – Body part

Not so innocently obsessed with the feeling of your hands. He likes how soft and gentle they feel when you stroke the pads of your fingers along his skin or the tiny indents he can feel along his jaw when you grab his face during a kiss. Likes to hold at least one when you fuck, just to keep a little bit of the innocence and pure love he feels for you present no matter how dark or freaky things may get.

C – Cum

Doesn’t mess or play with it too much; a result of the clean freak within him. 9/10 he pushes himself as deep as he can within you when he cums because that’s where you feel the tightest and the warmest. Doesn’t care too much for cream pies or watching his cum fall out afterward, but does slightly enjoy the occasional dribble of his seed from the corner of your mouth when you suck him off.  

D – Dirty Secret

Gets off at the idea of watching you fuck one of the other members. Don’t ask me to explain why but the thought of seeing you get pounded speechless by Jaehyun or reduced to tears by Yuta’s tongue or giving Mark the suck of his life has had him palming off in the bathroom more than just a few times. Don’t be surprised when he asks if you’ve ever thought about a threesome.

E – Experience  

He’s been around. However, I don’t think his experience comes from being with a lot of partners, but more so being with one partner multiple times and perfecting the things which work best with those people. It’s given him room to improve multiple skills and learn new things/experiment and make his own tricks.

His confidence also helps as it makes all his actions, even the odd or accidental, seem like he’s done them on purpose and tricks his partner into thinking he knows more than they do. Overall, Tae knows wtf he doing and your gonna feel every bit of his knowledge round by round.  

F – Favorite Position

Missionary. You both get access to everything and it’s very kink friendly. There’s room and ease for teasing on the clit, sucking on nipples, scratching his back, wrapping his hand around your throat, and it gives room to make use of ropes and ties, vibrators, plugs, etc.

Honorable mentions is 69. He gets turned on when he’s eating you out, so having you down there to get him off while he enjoys his meal is like heaven. Bonus is being able to reach down for control and ease to fuck your throat.

G – Goofy

Very rarely. Maybe at the very beginning when things are still light and innocent, but as soon as things escalate to heated making out, all jokes and giggles are out the door. Taeyong tends to develop a very strong and intimidating persona when things get heated, so I wouldn’t expect anything less.

H – Hair

Doesn’t shave often but he will if you want him too. Doesn’t mind hair on you AT ALL. Finds it a bit sexy, whether it’s just a bit or it’s grown a while, he finds the natural aspect to be more tantalizing than one would expect.  

I – Intimacy

To me, Taeyong comes off as a VERY affectionate person. I don’t think he’d go overboard with PDA, preferring to save all his affections for his S/O for when the two of you are alone, but I also don’t believe he spares all of his affection and intimacy to be shown purely through sexual acts.

His intimacy is very soft. Gentle kisses on your temple when he wakes up in the morning, even if you’re still asleep. Tracing his fingers lightly across the expanse of whatever exposed skin of yours his fingers can reach. Lots of staring at you with soft, half-closed heart eyes when you’re sleeping or gazing off in the opposite direction, and tons of cuddle sessions with his head resting upon your chest or stomach while his hands are wrapped around your waist; he likes having you close and maintaining some sort of contact with you whenever he can.

J – Jack-Off

Not too often, mostly cause he has you and he’ll take whatever you’re willing to give him, but also because his drive isn’t super high that he felt the need to relieve his urges that often.

Most definitely has a folder filled to the brim of scandalous photos of you, whether you just looked especially good in an outfit, you’re teasing him in his clothing or some lingerie, or exposing yourself to him. Don’t think he doesn’t have videos of you fucking; there’s at least 10 and they’re all at LEAST one minute long. Probably found some way to save your voice memos in there too.

Freaky/nonconventional porn is his favorite. This can range from basic powerplay dynamics like daddy kink or petplay, to gangbangs, to heavy bdsm with tons of restraints and a crying sub with cum dripping off of their face. I’d mention some other things I can see him getting off to but I’ll abstain for the sake of some people’s sanity =].

K – Kink

Definitely power play. I know other people get caught in a debate about if Tae is a dom or sub but I don’t think he’s either or. I can honestly see him being just as turned on and getting off as the dominant OR submissive in a sexual situation. I see him as a full dom but not a full sub, as in he doesn’t follow your commands or cave into your words but rather enjoys being tortured by your actions and struggling against you. That also leads to my theory that he has a teasing kink.

Yes, he loves yanking you around by your hair when your hands are clasped together from use and the sight of looking down at your glossy eyes staring back at him as you struggle to breathe with his hand grasping your throat. But he also loves fighting against you when you bind his wrists to a chair and tease him to the point that he feels like he’s about to explode. The ghost of your lips over his skin, the tingle of the tips of your nails dragging over his chest just enough for him to feel, your slick heat gliding slow over the length of his cock drives his rage through the roof but he loves it none-the-less. You best believe you’re getting it afterwards tho, so don’t push your luck too far.

I can honestly see him being into a variety of things, like pet-play, voyeurism, pain(light), humiliation/degradation(light), breath play(light), etc.

L – Limits

Nothing with high risk or physical damage (like knife play or electricity); not one for pain other than your nails down his back or aching in his cock from edging, so you can rule out clamps from his ends. If you want something along those lines he’ll try, but I think he’d be too worried about the possibility of hurting you would turn into too much for him to handle.

M – Motivation (Turn-On)

This might seem obvious but hear me out. Skin exposure/public teasing; Say you’re sitting on the couch across the room from him in a large t-shirt going down to your knees. Some of the members are lounging around, watching t.v., talking, etc. He looks at you and watches as you slowly open your crossed legs to show him your uncovered and glistening pussy while you stare at him with an innocent gleam in your eye. Or maybe you’re walking around trying to find something one of the dreamies lost and your shirt accidentally lifts too high when you bend over to check beneath the couch. This type of stuff drives him crazy and kicks his self-control to the curb, so don’t be surprised when he comes behind you to grab a handful of your ass and question innocently if you wanted to search the bedroom with him.

Sometimes it requires no effort at all. You could be sitting silently by the window of the hotel you’re in for the night, in shorts and a satin tank top, and the glow from the sunset against the soft, exposed skin of your thighs is all it takes to wind him up.

I see this happening pretty often, and 7/10 it’s in this latter instance, coming from a romantic place. Just a little bit of some exposed skin is all it takes for him to get caught up in the memory of your soft touches and lingering kisses and how much love he has for you and BAM he’s ready for some romantic boning.

N – NO (Turn-Off)

I truly cannot think of that many super standout things. First (and I know how basic/kinda odd this is but) a mess. He can’t get it on with you in a messy place or with a messy person (hair is messy clothes are dirty that typa stuff).

Also the idea of hurting you. He can get down with some freaky stuff (cuffs, leashes, ties, whatever) but the idea of causing you some sort of ACTUAL PAIN would turn him off immediately.  

O – Oral

Giving: Taeyong loves eating pussy you can’t change my mind. Makes good use of his lips; i.e. a very generous of kissing and sucking, almost like he’s making out with you. It’s easy to tell considering how much he uses them when he talks and raps lol. Eating you out turns him on, especially when you pull really hard on his hair (que that slight pain kink). Plays with himself while he eats; if he’s lying on his stomach then he’ll grind himself against the bed. In any other position, like if you’re sitting on his face or he’s on his knees, he’ll jerk himself off with one hand and hold you in place with the other. Not much use of his fingers as this is usually a form of foreplay for him so he isn’t aiming for you to cum, just to warm you up.

Receiving: Quite vocal. “Ahh, yeah..” “Just like that baby” Sits back and watches you work with a nasty smirk. Likes the dragging feeling of the edges of your nails along his shaft and pinching subtly at his balls.  L O V E S eye contact (cause of the way your cheeks gets pink under his stare). Likes it most when he’s fucking your mouth or forcing his cock down your throat so he can see your eyes get watery and red.  

P – Place

V E R Y fond of shower sex; you’ve always looked so pretty with wet hair, but he likes the look of his fist tugging on the wet strands even better. He likes to watch the water droplets shake and fall off your ass when he’s fucking you, and how much louder the smacking of your skin is when it echoes against the closed-in vicinity.

The kitchen is fun as well. Doesn’t care if you want it from behind with one leg held up on the island, or if you want to sit on the countertop and make-out while he goes wild in your pussy. Sometimes he’ll randomly come up behind you while you’re doing dishes and yank your shorts & panties down and just raw dog you.

Q – Quickie

Like Jaehyun, they aren’t his favorite just because he likes to take his time, but if you’re bratty enough or he’s too riled up to think straight, he’ll make time and find a place for it to happen no matter where you are(office, restaurant, concert, movies). As a result, he’s focused on getting his fill and becomes quite messy and ignorant to the idea of being caught.  

R – Risk

He down for some risky business every now and then. Won’t let the risk escalate too high if he’s thinking with his head instead of his dick. As previously mentioned, if his horniness clouds his judgment he doesn’t care what the location is; he’ll take you in the seats at the back of a movie theater if he has too. If he’s thinking logically, however, his risk level is more controlled, like the restrooms at the office or a noisy and crowded restaurant where no one will notice you’re overlapping and extensive absence.  

S – Stamina

Knows how to pace himself; 3-4 rounds max.

T – Toys  

Has a collection; enough to fill two or three average sized shoe boxes under the bed. Common things like a few different colored ropes, a couple handcuffs, some vibrators (Hitachi's and pills [google it]), dildos, hand full of butt plugs. Every now and then he might buy something a little more extra (like a spreader bar or restraint set) but they end up being rarely used or set off for special occasions.

U – Unfair [Teasing/Being teased]

I explained the bulk of this in the risk section, so I’ll just re-state the obvious that since he loves to be teased, he’s gonna tease the hell out of you as revenge. Teasing from his end is dominantly pushing you closer to the edge of bliss inches at a time with movements just quick enough to provide some sort of gratification, either with his fingers on your clit of his cock moving against that spot inside you, but halting his movements moments before you explode. I don’t see him teasing very often, however. He saves it for slow times when neither of you is in a rush to get off, or when you’re being a brat.

V – Volume

Members are gonna hear him through the walls but you don’t have to worry about any complaint or concern calls from the neighbors.

What comes out of his mouth is A LOT of moaning. They’re long and drawn out from the base of his throat, making up 70% of the noise filling the room (He doesn’t even attempt to keep at a controlled volume). The other 30% is dirty talk but he keeps that nice and low, gently throwing the words past his lips and right into your ear just for you to hear them.

W – Wild Card [Author’s Choice]

Low-key has a thing for people watching. He often records your escapades (always the risky ones) for future lonely nights and has become very prideful in bragging and showing the videos to the other members. Somewhat ties into/slightly satisfies his fantasies of you getting on with another member. One night or another he might accidentally leave the door cracked enough for someone passing by to get a glimpse and pretend he doesn’t see them stop in the hallway.

X – X-Ray [Dick Size]

A little over average length (like 6 ½) but not much girth. Not skinny to the point of dissatisfaction, just not much stretch.

Y – Yearning [Sex Drive]

Average, both when home and on tour. Despite the speculation of others, or what you may have perceived from reading this, I don’t see TY as a super sexual person (in the sense that it’s a major facet of his being or has a big role in his life). While I do think things can get pretty freaky with him when the time is right, I believe for the most part he just a big softie who craves affection.

Z – Zzz [After Sex]

Takes about 30 minutes to fall asleep after getting both of you cleaned and settled.  

[sparda3g]

Gintama Chapter 679 Review

I know I was asking for answers, but I think I will be fine if it doesn’t result to a cruel ending. Sorachi somewhat surprised the fans with a new backstory that leads to Gintoki’s discovery. The problem is that it’s clear that we are in for a dark and possibly depressing outcome. This chapter ignited a gripping story of master-disciple bond on a quest with inducing fear. This is not going to be easy...

It’s no wonder that we have plenty of comedy earlier. This chapter leaves nothing to laugh over; maybe with one panel of a kid falling on the ground hard, but outside of that, it’s downright serious. It’s too early to call, but I got to say, this backstory is perhaps the darkest one so far. It’s the culmination of father-son, master-disciple, and a man with a hard hitting temptation to end his heavy burden.

The beginning already starts off with the dark vibe with Gintoki in the flashback left on a journey to find something important. It’s the first time to see him looking extremely determined; it’s quite surreal. He asked the Inugami Maidens, Ane and Mone, to give him the pinpoint locations of every Dragon Holes. I admire Sorachi’s writing for using those two in plenty of significant plot points, even at this point. It goes to show you how his writing works. Whenever the character appears for an arc or so, they will hold a relevant contribution to exploit.

One of the sisters explained a newly informed detail of the Dragon Veins; even the lore gets expanded this late. There is no actual count on how many Dragon Veins are in the world; not even the Maidens can grasp all of them. Not only there are countless of it, but the size can differ from many. It can be the size of golf ball hole and it would be considered as a Dragon Vein. This does explain why Gintoki took a long time to resurface; at least in terms of reconnecting with old friends. There’s another reason why he took 2 years, but we’ll get to that soon.

The Maidens warned him that it can take forever, which already sound impossible because human nature, but without an actual response to them, rather to himself, he was hell bent to find “it;” even if it does take him decades. It’s astonishing how much he has spent his 2 year journey, going across Japan searching for every single one until he hits jackpot. The scary part is he would have left Yorozuya behind possibly forever. Could you imagine if he didn’t find it in 2 years prior? That’s how unbelievable his determination was. Thank God, he found it as early as he can get.

I thought the flashback ends there, but it’s only for momentary to unveil the grand revelation: Utsuro is alive. It’s no surprise for fans to guess, but it is undoubtedly a huge deal for the characters. After going through many hells he brought in, knowing he’s alive only brought the mood down further. Gintoki recovered Utsuro’s heart after 2 years, though it is left to speculate on whether the latter will resume his reign of terror or somehow, a miracle will bring Shouyou back. This is trivial since it can go to many directions with the heart in presence; not yet form a body. It could be a brand new Utsuro for all we know. It’s kind of freaky to even think on what to do if they cannot kill it.

I’m glad Sorachi shed the light on how Gintoki came to his decision to split up Yorozuya, though it came with an enthralling yet disheartening result. Gintoki proves to be smarter than what his image usually portrayed in comedy routine since he recalls Utsuro dropping himself into the vortex of the Dragon Vein. Because of it, he thought the possibility of his body being vaporized by the Altana in which he was originally born from it. In other words, how could he died by what he was originated from, let alone being his source of life. He describes with simple yet good thinking analogy with Utsuro to Altana and water to an ocean.

What grasped his attention were Utsuro’s final words as he was falling down into the vortex. It finally cleared up on why Gintoki went hasty to catch him. While he did want to stop him from escaping in a sense, he was compelled by his words, which is why he was really upset when he failed. It’s why Kagura and Shinpachi picked up his hurtful tone. It’s those words that gave Gintoki a purpose; to reunite with Shouyou somehow, someway. Could it be possible to save him? I was moved by his ambition as a loner. It is no longer for the sake of humanity and he’s not going as a Yorozuya; it’s Shouka Sonjuku’s Sakata Gintoki, going to put an end.

Back to the flashback and once again, it’s intriguing how much Sorachi continues to explore more of its lore at this time. There is one Dragon Hole that is enshrined for generations; even Ryuujin (Dragon God) dwells inside. That basically mean that hole is worthy of attention. The only question was whether Utsuro came out from there. Once the old man began to describe the story of a strange phenomenon, it was clear that Gintoki hit the jackpot. It’s a good thing the image of a mass of meat wasn’t fully displayed because it sounds rather disturbing.  What shocked me is Utsuro was a baby.

It’s not just because the fact he was once a meat and somehow turned into a baby without medical logic. What truly startled me is if Utsuro was a child in the flashback, why the hell was Gintoki carrying his heart now? That gave a serious bad vibe; believing that he would kill a baby to remove the heart. The chapter wasn’t over, but I was freaking out around that point. It felt like it was building up that it was just Utsuro’s organs, but with a newborn baby, the end path was looking very grim.

While the ending is arguably the main spotlight, the page of one night with the baby is up there. It’s probably the grimmest display this series has offered. The protagonist Gintoki has the baby that once led a life of murders and destruction. He had the chance to put an end to the baby’s life, even though he probably could return later on. Even so, the train of thought drove Gintoki to approach the baby with a small sword and had the range to put it end. This was heavy stuff.

I was clinching my teeth. Sorachi got me believing that Gintoki ended it there. The paneling is excellent in this one page; how it shows his temptation to go through with it. His eye roared with anger, inch by inch to the heart, almost ending his suffering. Sorachi will get the protagonist’s hands dirty. It may not paint a bright light for inspiration, but for the sake of deeper storytelling, it should be done.

The next page was a huge sigh of relief that he didn’t do it. It’s crazy to imagine how it would feel if he did do it. Although he’s not doing it for the world, he technically did carry its fate by letting him live. If Utsuro does return, vicious and all, it would be his fault. If he did kill him, it would paint him as a disturbing image. The other risky part is who knows what the baby will grow up to. What if it was going to be Shouyou? It’s amazing how this one scene could have leaded him to many possibilities, but not worth feeling satisfied.

It’s jarring that after raising the baby for a bit, Utsuro has grown into a child, presuming the same age as when Shouyou met Gintoki for the first time. It transpires to a short but really nice father-son/master-disciple bonding scene with those two. To think, the role has been reversed as the two’s journey along the way. I feel like Sorachi is being cruel to have Gintoki experiencing in his master’s shoe and later, harbor another hardship end. That said it does create a very appealing backstory.

It does draw us fans closer to Gintoki’s character. He truly cherished his master more than anyone, so even though he was bothered by his presence, he can’t bring himself to kill. He would rather risk raising a child that could bring horror back than killing with a gamble. As funny as the line, “I feel like I’m raising a final boss” is, it holds many truths behind it. I felt his sincerity when he remembered Shouyou, connecting with how he probably felt as his master. It’s really touching to say the least; the most heartfelt scene of the chapter. That is until the end happened.

The parallel is so striking. Not only it told us how the role has been reversed but it was the trigger for Utsuro to speak for the first time. Every single line from him gave me crazy chills. It’s haunting how he can remember a lot as a child; detailing everything that answered Gintoki’s question. Those words keep on coming and it draws closer to the grand twist. The look on Gintoki’s face is very telling; you know how tensed it is when he’s awestruck by his words alone. It could play off like a horror film; unable to comprehend the scene. The message is clear: Shouyou has returned.

Honestly, it’s early to say if that is really the case, but it would appear that he was at least on the polite side as of that moment. It could be Shouyou, Utsuro lying under a false presence, or someone else entirely. It’s very tricky, but that’s what makes it gripping. It was such a heartfelt scene that unfortunately reminded me that this was all in the flashback. Why does Gintoki now carry the heart? What went wrong? Does it have to do with the request? It still leaves more questions but I am thrilled to learn more.

This was a strikingly emotional chapter that Sorachi has outdone himself once again. Just because the series is ending doesn’t mean he is burnt out of writing. He continues to deliver a rich story with plenty of outcomes that is nothing but dark. The shivering tone of that one night was so intense I thought my eyes were fooling me. I did read it in the early morning, so you could imagine how I reacted. The storytelling has been excellent so far and the ending was touching but possibly alarming. We have a long wait for the next chapter. Damn you and your timing, Gorilla!

[thoughtsofdarc]

My Latest Mission... pt.11

Reader (Y/N), Clint, Bucky, Sam. Warnings: Language. Being a Hydra asset. Angst. Violence. Blood. Clint being wise (Come on, that HAS to be a warning!)

Part 1… - Part 2… - Part 3… - Part 4… - Part 5… - Part 6… - Part 7… - Part 8... - Part 9… - Part 10... 

The chill night air fill my lungs when I take in a deep breath. It's so quiet up here, no sounds coming from the city beneath us and all the lights from cars, buildings and street lamps makes the scenery before me almost fairytale-like. I've started to come up here when my nights are bad and the terror fills my mind. Up here I feel free.

Tonight is one of those bad nights, I can't shake the feeling of being in danger. I know I'm not, but ever since my time in Hydra I've always been on high alert, you know... Since I never knew when they would come for me, beat me, hurt me... Tonight my room felt too small, and the walls seemed to close in on me, imprisoning me. Even though I know it's all in my head, I can't seem to find the will to fight the feelings today, so I went to the roof to find some peace for myself. It's a cold evening, but I don't really care. The serum in my blood makes me run hot and I don't really feel the cold anymore. Sometimes I miss it, but most times I don't even think about it. I take another deep breath, calming the inner chaos in my head. But as I let the air slowly out of my lungs again, I feel a presence close to me. Every fiber in my body jerks awake and in less than a second I'm ready to fight for my life. "What are you doing up here, Kid?" the low voice of Clint reaches me from only a few meters apart. He is the only one I've ever known, that can move so silent that he can come almost all the way up to me, without I'm noticing. "SHIT! CLINT!" I jump when he talks and I glare at him "haven't we discussed that sneaking up on a super soldier and scaring the crap out of her is a bad idea?" I huff out the words as I try to calm my heart again. I'm not one to get scared, people don't usually have the ability to get the chance to do so. But Clint does, and he has taken every chance he got ever since he found out. He chuckles a bit, clearly enjoying the moment. And just for a second I think of dangling him over the edge of the tower, just for a second, to get back at him. But the joyful smile and the humor in his eyes makes me decide against it. Apparently I have a soft spot for the archer. He sits next to me and take in the view of the city before he speaks again "Nightmares?" he looks at me with soft eyes "You know you can talk to me, kid" "It makes no sense for you to call me Kid... You know that right?" I give him a half smile "I'm way older than you" He leans back on his hands and takes a deep breath with that amused smirk on his lips. "I know... But I like it, do deal with it, kid!" I giggle a bit as I shake my head and he continues "But seriously y/n, what's up. Are you okay?" I pull my knees up, put my arms around them and put my chin on top. My eyes search the distance without really looking for anything. "Yeah, I'll be okay. It's just one of those nights you know... I can't shake the feeling that HYDRA will suddenly be here to take me back. My room felt like a prison cell and I couldn't calm my thoughts enough to get rid of the feelings. I know it's stupid, I know I'm safe here... " My voice trails off, not knowing what else to say to explain. Clint doesn't say anything to begin with, it's almost as if he is trying to imagine what I'm going through. But then the sits back up and look at me, his calming blue eyes explore my face. "You know... I would be deeply concerned if you didn't feel that way, kid. The things you have been through, the fear, the pain and the torture. And you went through it all alone, you didn't have anyone to depend on... That just gotta mess with your head one way or another" He reaches out and gives my arm a gentle squeeze. "It's alright to struggle with inner demons, just don't keep it to yourself. All of us have been there in one way or another, so I speak of experience when I tell you to open up about it. Hell, even Bucky has started to open up, and heactually begins to seem quite human" Clint laughs at his last remark, but it only makes me groan and hide my face between my knees. After the fight I had with Bucky, things has in some ways lightened up, and in others made everything worse. It feels like Bucky tries, he doesn't leave the room as soon as he sees me anymore, he even asked me to pass the salt one time in the kitchen, so yeah, that's progress... Baby steps, as Steve says, is better than nothing. I've also grown much closer to Clint, even though, I believe that that has something to do with him finding it hilarious, that I beat up Bucky... I think he kind of forgets that Bucky beat me up too. In general the rumors about the fight has traveled around to everyone, Avengers, staff, S.H.I.E.L.D agents, including agents that does not even live in the tower. Everybody knows, and everybody has made an opinion about me from that. Some good, but a lot of bad too... "Hey, cheer up, kid. I know he's your friend... He'll come around, I promise" Clint seem to read me like an open book sometimes. It's a little freaky when he does that, but it also makes everything so much easier when being around him. "How can you promise me that?" I look up at him again, meeting his blue eyes and soft caring smile. "He just needs a reason to trust you again. You know, to feel and experience that you are there for him, like you always been. He loves you y/n... He loves you, and that scares the shit out of him, 'cause you hold the power to destroy him completely if he chooses to trust you, and you in return turn out untrustworthy. Do you know what I mean?" The sassy archer with a joke for every opportunity looks at me with such seriousness in his expression, that I cannot do anything than to trust him. I give him a tired smile and stretch my legs in front of me. " You know... I like this clever and wise Clint, maybe you should let him out more". The deep low laughter that erupts from the man by my side, lifts my mood tremendously.

Another day another boredom... I'm starting to be a bit restless in this huge tower of Tony's. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss the action, I miss to have a purpose. NOT the killing purpose and the beating innocent people up and stuff... That's a part of don't want back! But I see the gang go out on meaningful missions, I see them do good things, and I want that too. Tony and Steve have put me in training, so one day I can hopefully join them... But there are still a lot there needs to be done before I can go. This means I'm alone again, as Steve and some of the others are yet again away. Bucky is somewhere around, but not with me... shocker!

He's probably with Sam, neither of them had to go on tis mission, so I guess they are somewhere doing their own stuff. I throw the book to the other end of the bed. God, I can't even concentrate on reading a damn book. I've been trying watching TV, but as fun as it is, my head just can't keep up in the long run. I've hit the gym for a few hours and now I've read a book... Well, tried to read a book. I get up and walk to the big window. It's become one of my favorite places in the whole tower, my bedroom window. I feel like I can see the entire world from here, and I love it! But today I just stare frustrated out, and wish I could be part of that world. I lean in, rest my forehead on the cold glass and look down towards the gate where Brett is working. Why doesn't the gate close? It's been open for almost an entire minute now, and there are no cars in sight... Normally it closes as soon as a car has gone through. I straighten up and look closer... Is that? Is that Brett on the ground?! My heart starts to pound like crazy, and my head spins for a second. I trail the road leading up to the tower with my eyes, and when my eyes stop at the bottom of the tower, my eyes go wide and adrenaline kicks in. The guard that's normally standing by the door. is lying on the pavement, 30 feet from it. Blood is very clearly surrounding his head running down the hill. What the hell? My feet moves before my mind catch up on what I just saw. I run as fast as I can towards Bucky's room, praying that his in there, but before I even reach the door I hear gunshots and men screaming and yelling commandos from the living area. "F.R.I.D.A.Y, what's going on?" I yell out as I run the other way as fast as I can. There's no answer.... The ever present A.I is suddenly silent.

Something is definitely wrong! As I turn the corner I literally run into a man I don't know. But as we both regain our balance he raises a semi automatic rifle toward me. Well, I guess a said I missed the action... Now here it is! In a swift motion I raise my leg and kick the rifle to the right, the sudden hit causes the man to pull the trigger and the bullets spilling out of the gun, leaves a long line of holes in the wall beside us. I step forward, grab a hold of the man's shoulders, yank him downwards and knee him right in the face. As he tries to regain his aim on me, I grab he rifle by the barrel, jerk it out of his hand and swing it full force to the side of his head. The man's eyes turn white and he falls to the floor, hard. I look at the rifle, and see that it's bent... Great, that's not going to help me now. Apparently super strength isn't always a good thing, I think grimly to myself as I start to run toward the living area again. Something is going on down there. Just before I reach the door, I stop, look back and send Tony a silent thank you. Even with all of his fancy gadgets and artificial intelligence robot things, he's still old fashioned in some ways. In a case on the wall is a fire extinguisher and beside it, the thing that caught my eye... A huge fucking axe! At least I'm not going in unarmed. I stop just outside the door and listen, trying to figure out just how many intruders there are. "This has been far too easy, I thought you guys were the mighty Avengers, unstoppable and strong... And yet here we are, taking over your tower like it was made of Lego. You are pathetic!" The sound of someone hitting someone else, followed by a humorless laughter reaches me, and my blood freeze.... That voice belongs to Brock! Anger rises in me, and I adjust my grip on the axe before I step into the room and take in the sight before me. Sam is on the floor, unconscious with blood on his face. I try to detect a rise and fall off his body as he breathes, but the angle he is in makes it impossible. I pray to whoever is out there, that he is still alive. A few feet from Sam is 3 agents with HYDRA emblems on their uniforms and besides them is Bucky on his knees, hands locked in a device that's made to contain him. I know these 'cuffs' I've been in them too... Brock is holding a gun to Bucky's head, and an evil smile is on his lips. "Rumlow!" I roar, catching the attention of all the men in the room. "Well, well, well... There you are! I thought you were hiding from me, sweetheart..." Brocks eyes light up with something I can't really describe, other than absolutely bat shit craziness. "I've missed you so much. Been looking everywhere, trying to find you... And then, here you are, hiding with your old friends the entire time" Bucky looks from Brock to me, catching my eyes. "Let him go!" I command, but it only makes Rumlow laugh more. He acts like he has lost the last trace of sanity, since the day I left him in the park. I can only imagine what they have done to him as punishment for letting me slip away. "I'm afraid I can't do that, babe... You should know, it was your job to bring him back to us!"

The way he says the pet names, makes a shiver run down my spine. Bucky stare at me, like he can't quite figure out what to think. I can see the anger radiate from him, but I can't read if it's ment for me or for Brock. "Get up, Soldier!" he commands and yank in Bucky's arm "It's time to go!" "I told you to release him, you bastard!" I shout and take a step toward them with the axe raised. The agents beside Sam moves closer to me with their raised guns, but Brock yell "Stop! We need her alive too!" The agents step back, but don't lower their weapons. I look at Bucky, search his eyes and hope he understand what I'm trying communicate without words. "Trust me?!" I ask quietly. He looks me directly in the eyes, and for the first time since we met again, I see some of the old Bucky there. "What?" he asks. "Can you trust me?" the question hangs thick in the air. And then, there he is... my Bucky. He looks at me, nods and say "Yes, do it!" as he raises his hands high over his head and I do the same with the axe firmly in my grasp. Before Rumlow even reacts, I throw the axe at Bucky, with all the force I have in my body. As soon as the axe is out of my hands I throw myself at the nearest agent, taking them all by surprise. The sound of metal hitting metal is loud and cuts into the ears, but my God, it is a good sound, because the second the axe hits, Bucky is free. The metal plates in his arm shift as he fists his hand and readies for a fight. 2 super soldiers to 4 men is a fair fight... For the super soldiers.

And before long they are all knocked out on the floor. When the last agent hits the ground, both Bucky and I rush to Sam and turn him over. He has a nasty gash over his eye that bleeds a lot, but he is still breathing, thank God! "Sam... Sam!" I call out and shake him gently. "Come on bird-brain, wake up!" Bucky slaps Sam on the cheek, which makes him groan a bit as he tries to open his eyes. When he finally does look up at us, he says gruff "That's about damn time you too started to work together!" before he shuts his eyes tight and let's his head fall back to the floor with a groan.

Part 12...

Did you like this? Let me know your thoughts Here.

I’ll love you forever

Taglist: Want to be tagged? Let me know Here

 @stone2576

@kelsywbu

@buckysjuicyplums

@todorath

@mynameisreallycoolbutitstoolong

@bitcheslovepizza

@thelemondraws

@terratori812

@ kalisaysfuck

@koizorahana

@dragoste-lunes

@99selina99

@bonnibelbubbleglob

@fangirling-all-the-way-tbh

@hayleynightcore

@clifaye

@katiekinzs

@shitmymomsay

@jenniseiblack

@hippie-taco-lady

@sumiaran

@owhatshername1

@glitterbras

@brooke5790

@ sinceimetyou

@tbetz0341

@fortheloveoflamp

@becauseifuckingcan

@mashed-fandom-imagines

@leaningtowerof-not-pisa

[deepdarkwaters]

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Got back from the Kingsman double bill a bit ago and am trying to put my brain into words even though I'm very tired and a bit numb and I smuggled five hours' worth of gin into the cinema in an Evian bottle so I'm as drunk as Harry at breakfast time.

OBVIOUSLY THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW

Watching them back to back like this was interesting because it highlighted so clearly how much better the first one is than this fumbly ridiculous sequel. Not saying it's not good or not worth watching or whatever because it absolutely is worth watching for several reasons I will babble after another teacup of gin, but holy god is this really the best they could come up with? REALLY? A 100% true fact that I believe with my entire heart: YOU reading this, you are a better writer than people being paid obscene money to write films. I could easily name thirty fic writers off the top of my head right now who have an infinitely better grasp on pacing and plot and characterisation and dialogue than the people responsible for this stuff. I've not read any press or fan reviews but I imagine there's going to be a hell of a lot of backlash over so much in this from every angle because it's just so incredibly lazy and sometimes ugly and absolutely cannot stand up to its own hype.

Really good things:

* SPECTACULAR, EH!

* Eggsy/Harry and Eggsy/Merlin shippers, goddamn we have a lot of new stuff to work with. Chemistry through the roof, especially Eggsy/Harry (including possibly the best clingy desperate hug I have ever seen on film in my entire life WE HAVE WAITED SO LONG AND IT'S HERE AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL). That was the heart and backbone of the first film, I'm so relieved that it's not only survived but evolved into something fiercer and often messier. So so good to watch. Pretty sure I've got Harry/Merlin written down the inside of my heart like the words in a stick of rock, and though it's not romantic you get much more of a sense of their friendship here and it's all just a bit shattering and gorgeous.

* Pretty much everything to do with Harry's memory loss and Eggsy and Merlin trying to shock him into remembering was great, Y E S  P L E A S E. And Harry's matter of fact comments about his loneliness, fuckkk. Angst writers, go forth with all this new information and break my heart some more! Fluff writers, fix him!

* Lots of beautiful intricate fight choreography which is literally all I need in my action films, so even if I did think the rest was complete balls (which I don't entirely) then I'd still be happy. Nothing comes near the vivid glorious gutpunch of the church scene as a standalone set piece, BUT there's so much Harry & Eggsy teamwork and please just inject this directly into my veins, it's amazing. Prepare for several years of me writing many more elaborate fight scenes than I already do.

* Part B to the above: Whiskey is a lot of fun and his fighting style is full on hardcore pornography to me.

* Merlin in a flawless Kingsman suit, RIP me.

* One of my Bespoke WIPs is about Merlin and Eggsy getting into the habit of going to the pub together sometimes and rolling home completely drunk with a kebab in each hand then trying to get in the house really quietly because Harry's asleep but they end up waking him because they think it'll be really nice to cook him breakfast in bed and Harry comes stomping downstairs in his dressing gown like "it's four o'fucking clock, put those frying pans away and drink some water!" while Merlin and Eggsy side eye each other and try not to giggle. So maudlin singing drunk Merlin was very nice to see :P

* Eggsy and Roxy bromance. There’s such lovely chemistry between them as well, it feels so natural and real, and it’s so good (and miserably rare) to see platonic friendships that aren’t shoehorned into some shitty boring love triangle.

* Eggsy and Tilde were seriously adorable. It ended up not at all satisfying as a romance plot arc because it was like CUTE - fight - marriage, it needed so much more screen time. Like all the important stuff was there, but it was just so abrupt. Include a satisfying romance or don't include one at all, fuck your lazy bullet points. But it started so well and I hope there's a ton of fic that treats them better than the script did. I appreciate the anti-Bond-ness of it all, that Eggsy's genuinely in love and wants to settle and is figuring out how that and his job can possibly fit together, especially with the complications of marrying into royalty. Interested to see where they take that if there's another film. Until then, soo much scope for fic.

* I'm shipping Harry/Elton like burning.

* Poppy was terrifying in a vaguely Umbridge-ish way. That sort of characterisation is always freaky, Julianne was great. So glossy and cheerful but absolutely dead in the eyes. And I'm ambivalent on Charlie, but I ABSOLUTELY want lots of brutal older woman villain/pathetic younger male minion smut. Please provide asap.

* T H E   M Y T H I C A L  B R E A K F A S T   S C E N E   I S   R E A L

Really bad things: well where the merry fuck do I start haha.

* I will never ever understand why they thought it was a good idea to wipe out all the locations and almost all the existing characters at the very beginning. It's lazy shitty writing. If you feel like you need to shake up your fictional world you don't just knock it all down and start over. It's cheap and very shallow angst.

* I only have two middle fingers but I need about seventeen million to even begin to profess my disgust at them killing Roxy. I knew it was going to happen, it was the only spoiler I asked someone for ahead of time and it was not at all a surprise to find out for sure. Still utterly infuriating. The way people responded so positively to her in the first one is a real indication of how ridiculously low the bar is for female characters in action films ("good at something" and "not the hero's love interest" are literally the only two requirements), and JG/MV didn't even think enough of her to follow through on the absolute base level achievement they made before. Fuck everyarse involved in this decision.

* Absolutely revolting honeypot mission scene. Not really the fact that it exists, just the entire way it was handled and shot - so predictably male-gazey and laddishly "waheyyy!" that it kind of turned my stomach. Horrible and completely unnecessary.

* A million new characters and not enough time spent on any of them to care. Tequila was barely more than a cameo. Champ and Ginger hardly had anything to do. All the Statesmen (except Whiskey) were completely two dimensional and it's such a jarring contrast to the obvious care taken over Eggsy, Merlin, and Harry. It's not even because we already know them, I don't think? It's weird to try and explain. The Statesman characters just feel so rushed and shallow, there's no substance to any of them. Kill off Roxy and replace her with paper cut-outs, ok that makes loads of sense!!! Whiskey’s a level up from the others because he gets loads more screen time and some beautiful fight scenes, but his ~emotional plot twist fell completely flat. I don’t know what it was, the pacing or a boring cliche backstory or what. It was just dull as fuck. WE HAVE HEARD THIS EXACT STORY FIVE MILLION TIMES.

A bad thing that's somehow not really a bad thing even though I'm fucking numb and want a hug:

* I've been raving for ages to people about Roxy being killed off and trying to figure out a way to satisfactorily explain how I feel about a character dying for a reason and a character dying because a writer is a lazy bastard who wants some quick angst. Merlin's death was an A+ wonderful death along the lines of my dear fictional boyfrends Quincey Morris and Lee Scoresby and a million others. Maybe it comes from all the swashbuckly historical adventure stories I grew up loving, but I'm a desperate sucker for a good noble death. Characters brave and self-aware enough to look at the bigger picture of an impossible situation and realise that their death means a better outcome for the people they love? This is ABSOLUTE CATNIP to me. Characters who go down fighting to the very end. If a character I love with my entire soul has to die, this is how I want it to happen. Give them some agency and a proper goodbye.

I mean I fully expect him to be magically resurrected with fancy prosthetic legs if there's another film because we saw those wedding set photos of him in the nice neon green cgi stockings, so really I should be saying "death". I totally reject this one. (I reject Roxy and JB's deaths as well, but the big difference is I really can't see the filmmakers bringing them back. Eyeroll.) Maybe that's what's making it easier to deal with? A not-real noble courageous self-sacrificing death. That's about as good as it gets. All three of them get Oscars for this whole sequence.

Anyway the tl;dr of it is:

This film is a very beautiful, very patchy mess. The good stuff is absolutely gloriously perfectly incredibly wonderful. Most of said good stuff is the interaction between Eggsy, Merlin, and Harry, which is written and performed with real care and heart. Nearly everything else is relatively lacklustre filler, misogyny, and shitty nonsensical decisions. These people cannot write women.

I liked it? I will definitely see it 900 more times, mainly for wet terrified Harry and gorgeous fight scenes. But ffs, how can it possibly be this difficult to pinpoint the reasons why people loved your extremely successful creation and consider including them in future plans?

I'm feeling fairly zen about everything. I kind of trained myself ages ago to think of sequels as just another bit of fanfic, so it's going to make absolutely no difference to the cheerful fluff porn and fight scenes I like to write. What I'm annoyed about isn't so much to do with ~new canon~ limiting what we're allowed to create for ourselves now, because that's just silly. It's more about being pissed off at the shoddy state of action films, particularly women in action films, when it seems like it should be SO EASY to take these astronomical budgets and create something groundbreaking. I'm so tired of this unimaginative lazy narrow-minded bullshit.

[symbianosgames]

Minecraft: Story Mode? 

Minecraft...Story Mode?! 

A partnership between Minecraft creator Mojang and The Walking Dead developer Telltale seemed very strange when first announced. Minecraft is a game about creating your own stories by interacting with its procedurally-generated worlds and crafting and building systems, whereas Telltale makes narrative-driven stories centered around pre-authored dialogue and decision trees.

But representatives of the two studios tell Gamasutra that bringing together their starkly different styles for a series episodic adventures was a completely natural move.

The Mojang/Telltale tagteam begins to make more sense when you consider the stories that naturally seem to grow up around Minecraft. There are the hundreds of community-created Minecraft stories posted to YouTube every day, or the Let's Plays that recount a personal quest or adventure. Beyond that, people make short films and machinima with the game, and record songs about their exploits in the game.

"For the last year, we've had a private Telltale Minecraft server, and we've been documenting everything that's been going on in there"

These community stories and the many other ways Minecraft players exhibit creativity in and out of the game were integral to the development of Story Mode. Telltale tried to draw inspiration for characters, places, and plot points from things that happen organically in the community. They didn't just observe, either. They chronicled their own in-game experiences.

"For the last year we've had a specific private Telltale Minecraft server," says Job Stauffer, creative communications director at Telltale. "We've tinkered around in Telltale town and built all kinds of contraptions and buildings, and we've been documenting everything that's been going on in there."

He says that one incident with a chicken machine that went haywire even made its way into the game.

Mojang and Telltale are quick to stress that Story Mode is not the official story of Minecraft. It cannot be an official canon or mythology, because no such thing exists.

"We didn't want to explain exactly what a creeper is," says Owen Hill, creative communications director at Mojang. "It's good to have some mystery to these cool mobs and stuff."

Hill cites the Far Lands as an example of mythologizing done by the community. When you get far enough from the origin or spawn point of a Minecraft world seed, the algorithm that generates the world begins to break down and falter. "The world starts to look really freaky and a bit weird," explains Hill. "And people read a lot into that. They call it the Far Lands and it's this mysterious area."

Minecraft fans seem to enjoy coming up with their own interpretations and seeking out other people's interpretations of why things are the way they are. While Story Mode references or pulls elements from many of these player interpretations, it is meant to be just one among the infinite many possible interpretations and stories set in Minecraft's peculiarly blocky, procedurally-generated universe.

"When we first sat down with Mojang to talk about what the story was going to be, we started with Goonies and Ghostbusters."

Story Mode stars a character called Jesse--who in a first for Telltale can be male or female--and Jesse's friends. Their adventure initially revolves around four legendary heroes who are each based on archetypes the Telltale team identified in the Minecraft community. There's an engineer who's great with contraptions, an architect who likes to just build things, a warrior who excels in monster slaying, a rogue--some might say griefer--who enjoys ruining other people's creations and generally being annoying.

Stauffer is reluctant to elaborate on how Telltale has avoided the pitfalls of designing characters to fit each of these archetypes, for fear of spoiling the plot of later entries in the series. He does note that the protagonist Jesse and Jesse's friends all harbor a sort of "paragon ideal" of the qualities of the heroes that they're mimicking. Eventually, the group will meet characters who embody these heroic ideals, at which point the dynamic between "expectation and aspiration collides with the reality within the story," according to Stauffer.

The narrative draws on works beyond the Minecraft community, too. Telltale feels that they're trying to carry on the noble tradition of family-friendly adventure tales embodied in 1980s films like The Goonies and Ghostbusters. 

Stauffer excitedly talks about how the film Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom--the one where a man rips the still-beating heart from another man's chest--was central to the introduction of the PG-13 rating to American cinema, thereby creating a niche between adult and family movies such that teenagers weren't excluded from gorier, darker plot lines. The downside to this was that there were fewer big budget films being made without scarier and more intense themes.

"But we loved seeing those [family films] when we were growing up," says Stauffer. "When we first sat down with Mojang earlier last year to talk about what the story was going to be, we really started with Goonies and Ghostbusters."

Story Mode took shape as a classic group adventure in the spirit of these films. It was also in line with what Telltale identified as the common themes of Minecraft. "[There's] survival, crafting, adventure, and if you're playing on a server there's also the themes of playing with your friends," says Stauffer.

In many ways, it's a return to the roots for Telltale. Before delving into the mature licensed content of recent years--The Walking Dead, The Wolf Among Us, Game of Thrones, and Tales from the Borderlands--Telltale was known for its lighter fare. The Back to the Future, Sam & Max, Monkey Island, and Strong Bad series (among others) all straddled the line between adult and kids entertainment.

It's this culmination of many different influences and ideas that Telltale and Mojang hope will make Story Mode palatable to a broad audience. Older people can enjoy the 80s film references and the familiar voices of the cast--some of whom were actually in The Goonies--while younger players get to appreciate the Minecraft and internet culture references that are more familiar to them.

And as with prior Telltale adventures, for those who don't "get" Minecraft, this new Story Mode is meant to serve as a more approachable introduction to the themes and ideas and especially the elaborate design logic of its source material.

"We worked with some of the members of the dev team to make sure everything kind of made sense within the world," says Hill. Mojang wanted to make sure that it preserves the art and animation style, while still offering a bit of leeway in how the characters can express themselves, and also to ensure that it contains crafting.

The same patterns and materials are used across both games so that anyone who plays Story Mode and crafts a sword with Jesse can then hop into Minecraft and know how to craft a sword there, too. The logic is the same, only the language and perspective through which you interact with the world is different; it's now cinematic and tailored to a narrative.

For Telltale, then, Story Mode is little more than business as usual--it's a game that tells stories and finds character and theme-driven narrative threads in an established, beloved universe. All that's different is that this world has no predefined characters--only predefined systems of logic and design.

But for Mojang it's a tentative step into a world of narrative. One that surprisingly is not part of some grand plan, despite the line of Minecraft novels hitting bookstores now and the coming Minecraft movie that's in preproduction.

"We're not going to go out looking for something desperately in order to expand the narrative," says Hill. "It's not like we sat down and went, 'Hey, we need more ways to make narrative in Minecraft.' But if something cool comes along and it kind of fits, and we feel like we could do a really good job and do justice to the game, I don't see why not."

All it comes down to is protecting the brand and watching to see what the community wants. Hill says that the reception of Story Mode may influence Mojang's future choices, but he stresses that it always comes back to the community. "[Minecraft] wouldn't be anywhere near as big if it wasn't for that," he says. "We made this game and people embraced it and not only have they built cool creations [in the game]; they've made so much stuff around it."

Perhaps the core narrative of Minecraft isn't so hard to find after all. It was always there, right beneath the surface. It just took Telltale to point it out to us.

[symbianosgames]

Minecraft: Story Mode? 

Minecraft...Story Mode?! 

A partnership between Minecraft creator Mojang and The Walking Dead developer Telltale seemed very strange when first announced. Minecraft is a game about creating your own stories by interacting with its procedurally-generated worlds and crafting and building systems, whereas Telltale makes narrative-driven stories centered around pre-authored dialogue and decision trees.

But representatives of the two studios tell Gamasutra that bringing together their starkly different styles for a series episodic adventures was a completely natural move.

The Mojang/Telltale tagteam begins to make more sense when you consider the stories that naturally seem to grow up around Minecraft. There are the hundreds of community-created Minecraft stories posted to YouTube every day, or the Let's Plays that recount a personal quest or adventure. Beyond that, people make short films and machinima with the game, and record songs about their exploits in the game.

"For the last year, we've had a private Telltale Minecraft server, and we've been documenting everything that's been going on in there"

These community stories and the many other ways Minecraft players exhibit creativity in and out of the game were integral to the development of Story Mode. Telltale tried to draw inspiration for characters, places, and plot points from things that happen organically in the community. They didn't just observe, either. They chronicled their own in-game experiences.

"For the last year we've had a specific private Telltale Minecraft server," says Job Stauffer, creative communications director at Telltale. "We've tinkered around in Telltale town and built all kinds of contraptions and buildings, and we've been documenting everything that's been going on in there."

He says that one incident with a chicken machine that went haywire even made its way into the game.

Mojang and Telltale are quick to stress that Story Mode is not the official story of Minecraft. It cannot be an official canon or mythology, because no such thing exists.

"We didn't want to explain exactly what a creeper is," says Owen Hill, creative communications director at Mojang. "It's good to have some mystery to these cool mobs and stuff."

Hill cites the Far Lands as an example of mythologizing done by the community. When you get far enough from the origin or spawn point of a Minecraft world seed, the algorithm that generates the world begins to break down and falter. "The world starts to look really freaky and a bit weird," explains Hill. "And people read a lot into that. They call it the Far Lands and it's this mysterious area."

Minecraft fans seem to enjoy coming up with their own interpretations and seeking out other people's interpretations of why things are the way they are. While Story Mode references or pulls elements from many of these player interpretations, it is meant to be just one among the infinite many possible interpretations and stories set in Minecraft's peculiarly blocky, procedurally-generated universe.

"When we first sat down with Mojang to talk about what the story was going to be, we started with Goonies and Ghostbusters."

Story Mode stars a character called Jesse--who in a first for Telltale can be male or female--and Jesse's friends. Their adventure initially revolves around four legendary heroes who are each based on archetypes the Telltale team identified in the Minecraft community. There's an engineer who's great with contraptions, an architect who likes to just build things, a warrior who excels in monster slaying, a rogue--some might say griefer--who enjoys ruining other people's creations and generally being annoying.

Stauffer is reluctant to elaborate on how Telltale has avoided the pitfalls of designing characters to fit each of these archetypes, for fear of spoiling the plot of later entries in the series. He does note that the protagonist Jesse and Jesse's friends all harbor a sort of "paragon ideal" of the qualities of the heroes that they're mimicking. Eventually, the group will meet characters who embody these heroic ideals, at which point the dynamic between "expectation and aspiration collides with the reality within the story," according to Stauffer.

The narrative draws on works beyond the Minecraft community, too. Telltale feels that they're trying to carry on the noble tradition of family-friendly adventure tales embodied in 1980s films like The Goonies and Ghostbusters. 

Stauffer excitedly talks about how the film Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom--the one where a man rips the still-beating heart from another man's chest--was central to the introduction of the PG-13 rating to American cinema, thereby creating a niche between adult and family movies such that teenagers weren't excluded from gorier, darker plot lines. The downside to this was that there were fewer big budget films being made without scarier and more intense themes.

"But we loved seeing those [family films] when we were growing up," says Stauffer. "When we first sat down with Mojang earlier last year to talk about what the story was going to be, we really started with Goonies and Ghostbusters."

Story Mode took shape as a classic group adventure in the spirit of these films. It was also in line with what Telltale identified as the common themes of Minecraft. "[There's] survival, crafting, adventure, and if you're playing on a server there's also the themes of playing with your friends," says Stauffer.

In many ways, it's a return to the roots for Telltale. Before delving into the mature licensed content of recent years--The Walking Dead, The Wolf Among Us, Game of Thrones, and Tales from the Borderlands--Telltale was known for its lighter fare. The Back to the Future, Sam & Max, Monkey Island, and Strong Bad series (among others) all straddled the line between adult and kids entertainment.

It's this culmination of many different influences and ideas that Telltale and Mojang hope will make Story Mode palatable to a broad audience. Older people can enjoy the 80s film references and the familiar voices of the cast--some of whom were actually in The Goonies--while younger players get to appreciate the Minecraft and internet culture references that are more familiar to them.

And as with prior Telltale adventures, for those who don't "get" Minecraft, this new Story Mode is meant to serve as a more approachable introduction to the themes and ideas and especially the elaborate design logic of its source material.

"We worked with some of the members of the dev team to make sure everything kind of made sense within the world," says Hill. Mojang wanted to make sure that it preserves the art and animation style, while still offering a bit of leeway in how the characters can express themselves, and also to ensure that it contains crafting.

The same patterns and materials are used across both games so that anyone who plays Story Mode and crafts a sword with Jesse can then hop into Minecraft and know how to craft a sword there, too. The logic is the same, only the language and perspective through which you interact with the world is different; it's now cinematic and tailored to a narrative.

For Telltale, then, Story Mode is little more than business as usual--it's a game that tells stories and finds character and theme-driven narrative threads in an established, beloved universe. All that's different is that this world has no predefined characters--only predefined systems of logic and design.

But for Mojang it's a tentative step into a world of narrative. One that surprisingly is not part of some grand plan, despite the line of Minecraft novels hitting bookstores now and the coming Minecraft movie that's in preproduction.

"We're not going to go out looking for something desperately in order to expand the narrative," says Hill. "It's not like we sat down and went, 'Hey, we need more ways to make narrative in Minecraft.' But if something cool comes along and it kind of fits, and we feel like we could do a really good job and do justice to the game, I don't see why not."

All it comes down to is protecting the brand and watching to see what the community wants. Hill says that the reception of Story Mode may influence Mojang's future choices, but he stresses that it always comes back to the community. "[Minecraft] wouldn't be anywhere near as big if it wasn't for that," he says. "We made this game and people embraced it and not only have they built cool creations [in the game]; they've made so much stuff around it."

Perhaps the core narrative of Minecraft isn't so hard to find after all. It was always there, right beneath the surface. It just took Telltale to point it out to us.