#I could write a whole essay on him yall

[heroofangst]

Felix Hugo Fraldarius is trans btw

[hecksupremechips]

I think why Shinjiro not getting to live in the male protagonist version of the story is such a dealbreaker for me (other than the fact that he’s my favorite character) is that it just kinda fucking sucks that the memento mori theme is being applied to a guy who’s deeply suicidal. Like yes, it’s a tragedy that someone so kind and loving dies without a second chance. Yes, it’s true that pushing people away and drugging yourself to death is a poor way of spending your life and that if Shinjiro decides he wants to live after all, he’s still gonna get hit with the repercussions of his actions and die anyways. I get that. But it just sucks so bad that they chose to do this with someone who’s actively suicidal and instead of really acknowledging his depression properly they just kill him off. And then when a version of the story exists where he gets to have a happy ending, they try to make you forget it and stick to the version where he dies. Cuz idk, caring about the wellbeing of your suicidal friend is just too goddamn gay for atlus to handle lol. It just rubs me such the wrong way as someone who relates pretty heavily to the mental health struggles and personality of Shinji that his death is something that’s so wanted by atlus aaaaa

[lavendeerknight]

Bane Perez Identity V Art

Slowly I’ll begin posting over my art to Tumblr, so I’ll start with Bane! I did quite a lot of him over this year and the last 😅

When I saw the Nymph Awards artwork had the characters in fancy dress, I knew I needed to edit Bane into it 😭

This one was for Homestuck day...

These next few ones are part of a series of drawings I attempted to do daily in May! I got hit by artblock halfway through, though...

Day 1 I decided to draw him while complying more to his canon design

Day 2 I did him as a noir movie style detective 

Day 3 I decided to draw my old sona and Bane looking at a Taintacle from the Thaumcraft mod, because I had been playing the Brightfall modpack at the time 😅

 Day 4 I mixed a visual novel screenshot style with the IDV manor diary text style

For day 7 I drew him playing the violin! I like to think either Burke taught him or he taught Burke

Day 8 I drew him as a skateboarder because why not

Day 9 I drew an Icon of him to use for a Bane themed bot I run 🥺

Day 10 happened to fall on both Maid Day and Aesop’s birthday, so I drew both of them in suitvests... This also happened to be the last day I made, as the artblock had set in 😔

Victor having one-sided feelings for Bane is a very funny concept and I need y’all to see the vision

And this one, which was based on a trend in the JPN Bane fan twitter where you would draw Bane with increasing detail

[thotfrnk]

tackling the ancestral hall scene. re: jc was very much in the right, my thoughts. long post !

^^^ for some context, jiang cheng didnt explicitly allowed wei wuxian back, but he didn't deny him. basically, he gave wei wuxian an inch, and he took a mile. not to mention, jc wanted w.wx to return back anyways! he wanted w.wx to kneel in the ancestral hall and beg for forgiveness from his parents. that consent didn't extend to l.wj, an OUTSIDER, he's not part of the jiang nor does he share blood, nor was he wedded to w.wx, at that point in the story w.wx still wasn't aware of l.wj's feelings.

yada yada yada theyre all at lotus pier, on official business, to discuss the whole matter wrt to jin guangyao, wng.xn are there as GUESTS, w.wx technically deflected from ymj pre-res, and l.wj is yknow, an OUTSIDER. while sect leaders are discussing, wng/xn decided to explore lp, nothing wrong w that really, jc tails them for a bit bc he was notified. he would've never confronted them but! this happens:

wng.xn were basically trespassing at this point like dskjfnnkjnkfenjr they'd have to be SO far in the inner courts of ymj, even if its in character for w.wx to do this, l.wj on the other hand.... shouldn't he have known better? all those rules within the gusulan sect and none of them mentioned to not enter ancestral halls w/o permission? like this is jc's HOME, he's the master of the house, they cant just waltz around like they own the place.

this is taking me outtttt like w.wx fr shit talking yzy in her FINAL resting place and only realising it after a second widkdkfkdfkdkfkdkfkfkckfkfkdk . didn't screenshot this but: ww.x AND l.wj did bows in front of their tablets , which...... yeah.

the thing is, yeah yzy and jfm tablets were there but it's not just them, it's the JIANG ancestral hall, so it held tablets for ALL the jiang that had passed...... like you don't even need to be well versed in chinese culture or confucianism or the like to know that what wng.xn were doing was wrong. god.

and this was where jc caught them:

jc was totally justified for this reaction, there's no ifs ands or buts with this, they basically violated the most sacred place in his HOME. need i mention again this is jc's HOMEEEEE .

some more context: jc was implying l.wj was gay (he is) and was mad at how shameless wng.xn was acting, w.wx still doesn't know of l.wj's feelings and took it as an insult. antis love to you this scene as jc being homophobic but like...... 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 he just doesn't appreciate them coming and desecrating his ancestral hall bro 😭😭😭😭😭 jc isn't homophobic he just don't appreciate ppl acting shamelessly in sacred places wldkdkfkdk

then w.wx goes and attacks him, in his HOME, in his ANCESTRAL HALL..... GOD....... like what the fuck is wrong with themmmmmmm 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 they done trespassing and now attacking and i supposed to be rooting for them?🙄🙄 jiang cheng better than me, he shoulda drawn sandu right then and there

and the cherry on top of this whole soap opera mess:

w.wx FAINTING. like "oh woe is me my actions actually have consequences?😵" MANS ALLERGIC TO ACCOUNTABILITY 😭😭😭 . the cognitive dissonance was truly hilarious to see ekdkdkfkdkfkf

[judyalvqrez]

the way people are once again removing all the nuance and moral greyness and complexity out of the last of us, but especially joel miller’s character is kinda concerning lol

[nexo-nex]

everytime i stumble upon old tld art i hadn't seen before i go insane and kick my feet in the air

[multifariousqueer]

hey ur writing a so good vould you write a smut with miles Morales( not 42) and reader using webs as hand cuffs, thanks <333

Ofc, babes!! IF ANY OF YALL HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS, SAY IT WITH ME KNOW. IF IT DON’T APPLY, LET IT FLY. LEAVE ME TF ALONE IF YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH MY SMUT BC I GENUINELY DO NOT GAF

A/N; Hey y’all. Keep requesting as always and if you have an issue with this particular piece of work or any of my other smuts, please feel free to politely fuck off 🥰(I’m sorry I’m so sick of the comments under my post y’all).

Warnings: imma try not to put too many bc Tumblr will shadowban this post and i gotta feed y’all, look at the request, b0nd@ge, fluff, br33ding,d1rty t@lk, nicknames, $mut,lmk if I missed some

As the rain pattered against your dorm window, you sipped from a mug of tea as you had just finished your English essay and designing Miles’ new web shooters. He was currently out using them and trying them out as you took notes on their flaws and how they could be fixed. Miles always told you not too worry about his web shooters and just focus on making his suit more durable and you always told him:

“I can do both, Spider-Man’s girlfriend/engineer always does both"

He would chuckle and laugh and say:

“As long as you’re happy, Mami."

Miles let you have a lot of creative freedom with his design seeing as you were also his “girl in the chair” assisting him on missions sometimes, designing/building him new tech, testing out new fluid combos and overall, keeping him safe. As much as Miles enjoyed you being active in his escapades, he worries that something will happen and you’ll be targeted and used for something horrible. You reassure Miles that this will never happen because there is nothing connecting you to his suit or machinery due to your advanced tracking system being untraceable by outside forces. You installed a firewall so potent, it took you three months of nonstop work to crack it. When you finally did, Miles and you had celebrated for a whole week.

As you enjoyed your unusual alone time, you waited for Miles to tap on your window and enter.

“Hey, Spidey. How’d they work?” you smiled at your tall boyfriend

“They held up, thats for sure. I had to stop a bank robbery and those guys had some pretty jacked up weapons but the shooters did their job. How are you amor?” Miles spoke

“I’m good. I pounded through my English essay and yours.” You said, grabbing his suit to tinker with some of the shooters leaving him bare in your room in only his mask

“What’s the essay on again?” He said, grabbing a shirt as you saw his visible goosebumps on his skin due to the sudden temperature change

“The effects of technology on modern civilization” you smiled at Miles

Miles chuckled at this

“Damn, they called you out, huh?” Miles said, climbing on your ceiling and attempting to web a bottle of water

“looking for something?” you smiled, waving his shooters at him

“yeah actually.” he smirked

“You’ll have them in a sec.” you said screwing something in

“try em now” you said, throwing them to Miles

Miles tried them and they worked perfectly, even better than you had anticipated. Of course, he tested them by webbing you to him.

“Thank you, mami. You always get me right.”

Miles pulled you in for a kiss. The kiss was long and passionate, you could tell he was incredibly grateful for the time and effort you put into him and his alter ego. The kiss could’ve lasted eternity as your mouths moved in perfect motion of each other before you pulled away:

“Should we try out new web formula?” you said barely above a whisper, your eyes fluttering open

Miles chuckled

“Nah, the current one will work fine for this”

Before you could ask what was going on, Miles webbed you to the wall. He turned you around so your stomach was against the wall. He made sure to strategically place the webs so that your hands and ankles were bonded extra tight to the wall.

“I’ve wanted to do this forever” Miles said

Miles webbed your mouth before you could say anything and started rubbing you through your clothes. He fondled your perfect tits and cursed under his breath:

“Shit I’m so lucky"

He sucked on your neck as little moans and whimpers escaped. He moved his hands under your clothes and ripped them in one swift motion:

“I’ll buy you a new top and shorts, mami” Miles said

You moaned out an “awww” but it was quickly interrupted by Miles rubbing your clit while leaving kisses along the back of your neck. You felt a knot in your stomach and you wanted nothing more than to moan out Miles’ name as you approached your orgasm.

You felt yourself twitch as you moaned and whimpered, tears falling from your face as Miles stopped and started palming and smacking your ass:

“You thought it was gonna be that easy, Mami? como si no me conocieras” Miles taunted in your ear

All you could do was just moan and cry as you were completely under his command. He then snaked two fingers inside of you and started prepping you for his dick:

"Es tan apretada, mi princesa” he said, lowly

Miles knew that when he spoke Spanish to you, you get flustered and shut down. You turn into a giggling mess and this situation was no different; It didn’t help because Miles was kissing your sweet spot on your neck causing you to feel overstimulated. Your legs shook and you were practically sobbing as your boyfriend abused your technology and your body:

“Fuckkk you wanna cum, Mami? You want me inside of you, princesa? I wanna fuck your tight little pussy so bad I’m gonna cum in your womb when I’m in there. You gonna let me? You gonna let me make you feel good, hm?” Miles taunted

“Mhmmm” you mumbled. You nodded and turned to face him.

“If you weren’t webbed, I’d make you beg for it; but you’re formula makes it so that you won’t be begging for another three hours” Miles smirked

“mmmmmm” you mumbled

All this time, Miles was taunting your hole with his head, pushing it in and out and watching your hole drip with anticipation. You were sobbing and all you wanted was to feel full and to cum but Miles more interested in watching his powerful, smart girlfriend, fall apart on his cock like putty. The lewd sounds your pussy exuded were driving Miles crazy as he watched you beg for him with your eyes.

Miles pushed himself in and bottomed out. Your soft, plush walls sending his senses into overdrive as he forced himself to move and not just enjoy your pussy squeezing around him. The feeling of being full and the sight of Miles inside of you was enough to make your high return on steroids. Your legs shook as you moaned and whimpered alongside Miles’ own whimpers and groans. As you approached your highs, Miles’ thrusts became sloppier and harder as your body followed the rhythm of his thrusts and began to shake. Before you knew it, your eyes blurred, and you let out a long drawn out moan and a wave of pleasure came crashing down on you; had it not been for the webs, you would’ve fell to your knees.

Not long after, you felt Miles twitch and his movements stilled as he emptied his cum inside of you, his breathing became heavier as yours did too. Miles placed soft kisses along your figure and whispered praises against your body:

“Fuck you’re so beautiful, Mami. I love you so much. You did so well"

You felt yourself get weak in the knees but Miles had been supporting your stomach and your weight. You wanted nothing more than to kiss the man who emptied his cum into your womb but due to the webbing situation, you couldn’t. Miles felt this and he snapped the webs off of your hands and ankles in a flash. As you both were calming down, you saw a geometric blast of light before seeing Gwen’s face:

“WOAH! uh did I catch you guys at a bad time?” She asked awkwardly, covering her eyes.

You and Miles exchanged glances before he smirked and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks

[antiwhores]

Misreable - Bully!Bakugou x reader

When you walked down the halls he would shoulder check you or trip you. He would talk loudly about you behind your back to make sure you here. He would call you names whenever chance he got. He would break your stuff or steal it sometimes. The normal bully shit and etc.

But as usual you bit your lip and ignored him. You were taught that if you ignore them, eventually they’ll fuck off and get bored. But Bakugou apparently never got bored because this was your third year of highschool and he still wanted to fuck with you.

One day he takes it too far and you snap in front of everyone. And he can’t do anything but watch as you loose your fucking shit.

Angst, bullying, suicide mentions, suicide threatening, bakugou gets what he deserves, lots of cussing, violence

I been wanting to write this for a while but I couldn’t figure out the format. I hate this sm but Lmk if yall want a part 2 in the comments.

The hate between you and Bakugou was not complicated. He was a bully, you were his victim. Simple as that.

Bakugou would go out of his way to fuck with you every single day without fail. You had started to hate school because of it. You only had two classes with him and yet he decided to target you out of everyone else.

When you walked down the halls he would shoulder check you or trip you. He would talk loudly about you behind your back to make sure you here. He would call you names whenever chance he got. He would break your stuff or steal it sometimes. The normal bully shit and etc.

“Watch where your fucking going, stone-blind bitch.” He spat at you. He bumped into you, you had even tried to move over for him. But as usual you bit your lip and ignored him. You were taught that if you ignore them, eventually they’ll fuck off and get bored. But Bakugou apparently never got bored because this was your third year of highschool and he still wanted to fuck with you.

You continued on with your day like always, ignoring the harrassment you faced. UA was a guarentee to a successful life, like an infinate amount of money to a grocery store. With UA on your resume, your dream job was yours. So you bare through it, you only had two years left, including this one. You can survive.

Others caught onto what Bakugou was doing and began to isolate and bully you too. He was one of the most popular boys so that immediately made you a weird kid. They laughed and giggled when Bakugou harrassed you. You could still survive.

Atleast you thought you could but your patience is running thin. The last piece of rope twitched as you come back to the lunchroom from the bathroom to find Bakugou and his goons snickering at you.

You sat at a single seat lunch table, one on the more sucluded side of the lunchroom. You had work to do, always. With all the AP classes you took, knowing damn well you’d be screwed, the work load never ended. You needed that extra credit though and nothing was gonna stop you from passing those classes, not even the bully that occupies them.

Thats why when you looked down at the summative 5 page essay you had been working on smeared with the expensive ass milkshake you got at the small cafe next door, you lost your fucking shit.

The whole lunch room had gone quiet, reduced to static in your mind. It was ruined. You knew you shouldn’t have done it on paper. You should’ve just told your professor your computer was in the shop and it’d be late. You should’ve just went to the library and worked on the sticky computers there. You shouldn’t have just went with paper even if you like it better anyway.

On top of your report was a note written in clean, cursive handwriting. Handwriting you knew as Bakugou’s.

Maybe if you used all the money you spent on stupid shit like this milkshake, you could afford to get a computer.

just as you finished reading the note a flash or liquid was thrown straight at you.

Bakugou came over to you with a cup of bright colored juice and pretended to trip just to throw it right into your face.

“Oops.”

You hated him. You wanted him to die. You were going to kill him.

The whole lunch room was watching. They pointed and giggled with their friends. Some put their hand over their mouths with a gasp. They looked to their friends for approval to laugh. You were humiliated.

His friends cackled loudly in the back, slapping each other and jumping around. The liquid seeped into the s/c t-shirt you wore, leaving an undeniable stain like a scar after a war. It told everyone what just happened to you.

You hated yourself. You wanted to die. You were going to kill yourself.

You snapped. You didn’t know when your body started to move from the drunken feeling of adrenaline. Your fist slamming against his chiseled jawline sobered you up.

The wind up and deliver almost threw you to the floor. You put everything into that punch; your pain, your embarrasment, your tolerance, your suffering, and most of all: your anger.

The sound of your fist reverbed through the lunchroom. The laugher was gone. There were gasps, then there was silence. Dead silence.

The strength of the punch made him stumble backaway from you. He held his cheek in his palm as he looked up at you with a look of surprise and fury. He had no time to block since it was so spontaneous. His cheek began to swell.

The look of bloody murder would’ve made you shit your pants normally. Something about the act of pure revenge coursed through your veins.

“I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU!” Your scream bounced off the wall into everybodys ears. “For all my years of highschool you have hurt me and insulted me! You made my life a living hell! And you wont even tell me what the fuck I did wrong!”

Tears began to well up in your eyes but you swallowed them down to continue your speech. “And I know why you won’t tell me, YOU DONT FUCKING KNOW!” You stepped closer to him to scream the last part in his face.

You pushed him back, he let you. “For YEARS ive been waiting for you to get bored and leave me the fuck alone but you just WONT. I don’t know why the hell you do this to me but I’ll tell you one thing,” you shoved an accusing finger in his face. As you met his fiery eyes you yelled at the top of your lungs: “GROW. THE FUCK. UP.”

The push him back again, he lets you once more. “We’re about to graduate and your going out of your way to fuck with ME! Tellin me I dont have friends, YOU LEFT ALL THE FRIENDS THAT CARE ABOUT YOU! Now your with a whole bunch of fakes that talk shit about you when your not around. YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS TOO! Friends care about you! And NOT ONE, and I mean NOT ONE of your fucky ass hype master ‘friends’ over there give a single fucks ass about you.”

Your voice lowered, “You might be popular but you are fucking insignificant. You’re a sadistic asshole who makes everyone around them MISREABLE!”

Everything from the past 2 years pours out of you like rainfall and you can’t stop it. You want him to feel how you feel. Embarrased and isolated. You want him to feel like a fuck up just like he makes you feel. And he lets you, too shocked to even say anything.

Tears finally pour out of your eyes but you keep pushing. This was your chance and you were not gonna drop it.

You balled up his shirt and dragged him down to meet his widened eyes. His face twistsd with a look that said he was out for blood. He looked astonished where he was petrified to the floor.

He watched the tears fall down your face with his eyes bulging. “You make me misreable.” You spit through gritted teeth. “You make me want to give up and just end it all.” His eyes widen even more at this and his face twists into something sour, like he bit into a lemon of truth and self awarness.

You lower your voice to speak in a clear tone that only he could hear. “And if I do end up just jumping off a building or taking 3 whole bottles of pills or maybe even slitting my wrist, I want you to remember that this was your fault. That you pushed me to this. No one else but you and your influence. And I hope you take it to the grave and die on that hill cause the way that things are looking, I will too.”

The next thing you remember you were pulled away by staff into the office. You were suspended for a week.

You were not excited to go back to school.

[dragonfly0808]

S1 ch8

To this day one of my fave chapter titles and one of my fave chapters overall, I was so excited to write a whole chapter from the boys’ POV and I tried very hard to really get across their personalities and how they each think of their squad, I remember I spent like a week planning the chapter and then another week writing and editing just to make it perfect, and I’m still very proud of this chapter.

First: Sky being so proud of his team and of himself for getting jobs not due to his royal status but due to their hard work.

First mention of Shirley, though no name drop. And, in case yall didn’t know in this chapter Riven makes mention of Cloud Tower inscriptions -“Have you started preparing the papers and the essay?” Another pause, “I know it’s still a long time for the due date but it’s best to start preparing now.” Another longer pause and Riven sighed heavily, “Just listen to me for once please. Start checking everything. - cause originally Shirley was older and was gonna start Cloud Tower in s2 instead of s3 but then I made a very soft reboot of her age (cause I realized I wanted her to be close in age to Roxy so she could be part of that squad) so that’s a little fun fact right there.

THE BOYS DON’T EVEN REALLY KNOW EACH OTHER YET, THEY’RE JUST STARTING TO LEARN ABOUT THE OTHER AAAAHHHHH

This makes me very emotional, again, them just starting their friendship, what do you mean I once wrote them before they were bonded for life and brothers?

Tiny Brandon POV, mostly to show that his main trait is being a protector cause it’s Brandon duh.

Riven taking charge of the situation! Being instinctually protective and trying to distract the everyone so they won’t be scared. 

Idk why I wrote Flora a lot more… she’s bowing and shit? I think that was gonna be a Healer thing from Lynphea but then I forgot and never brought it up again

Tecna being exhausted from keeping the Owl from sinking for a minute… ugggh they really had a power crawl didn’t they?

Damn, the days when the girls were inexperienced and the boys were justified in trying to keep them away from the action… so much has changed

Timmy’s POV, trying to fix the walkie talkie and everytime he gets a clear voice someone just snatches it away ajajajajajajjjajaa

All of them panicking and fighting, they’re still learning how to be a team! -Soon all four of them were yelling, all sense of compatriot ship forgotten in the face of panic.-

“The plants were scared?” Riven’s tone became dismissive, which earned him a few angry glances from the other girls when Flora shrank into herself.

“Hey, she just kinda saved your asses so watch the tone.” Musa was quick to retort, stepping in front of Flora.

“It’s fine Musa-”

“No it’s not. Now, are you gonna keep being idiots and insist that you don’t need anyone, or are you going to let us help you so we can find the troll and get this over with?” Musa didn’t wait for an answer, whipping around and taking the lead, dragging Flora with her.

Musa’s ride-or-die ass showing itself for the first time. And Flora used to be so quick to back down it makes me want to cry!!!!

Tecna awkwardly hovering around Timmy, trying to help him fix the walkie but not knowing how to engage in conversation, the start of their dynamic, I’m dying.

And finally, a longer Brandon POV to show his connection with Stella and we see Stella’s first instinct is to take care of and protect the girls. I think this is when I finally started to figure out how I wanted to write Stella.

————

It might seem weird to see me essentially fangirling over my own fic but I don’t even care I’m proud of my baby and it’s been AGES since I even read s1, I have like 3 scenes i’ve gone back to to check details but aside from that, this is like reading it for the first time to me

[romanarose]

Life update if anyone cares.

I only post this bc i was posting my depressing shit for months and a lot of people were reaching out in concern <3

cw sever depression, self harm, suicide, csa, SA, all the bad. but also lots of good <3

TLDR: Despite a god-awful semester, i got all a's and b's

Everyone thats been following me the last few months has seem my personal posts about how fucking awful things have been for me.

I've dealt with fact I can no longer deny that what happened to me was CSA, despite being on a milder side of things. That sparked an absolutely spiral. I didnt sleep for months which made things worse. School, I got an F on a midterm and i NEVER get F's on writing assignments.

Work had its complications and i quit and then rescinded that quit two days later. I was so constantly depressed in my dorm my roommate literally told me i needed to go to the basketball game with them bc i was sitting in a depression hovel none stop. I only went to services twice this whole time, one shabbat and once for Rosh Hoshannah.

I burned the ever living fuck out of my fingers, yall remember that one? lol.

In novemeber i had relapsed so severely on self harm i thought i had accidentally killed myself. I should've called 911. I thought I was bleeding out and/or going into shock. I then worked myself up more by going down pages of the internet about medical shook and people dying from it. that did not help my heart rate. I couldn't stand, I couldnt see straight for a while.

I could not afford an ambulance or a hospital stay as i am uninsured and only ork 25 hours a week. not a lot of money.

All this happened and I didn't miss work. This is not a brag, this is me not being able to makegood choices for myself.

Finally, thanksgiving break hit. Thank fucking god. I WANTED to use those 4 days of absolutely nothing to get to my TWO BIG RESEARCH PAPERS I HADNT STRTED YET but alas, I was SICK. I was so sick, in fact, and so hoped up on cough medicine for 3 days i was incomprehensible.

I was so physically ill, i couldnt even think about how mentally ill i was. I slept and slept and slept. And by the time sunday hit, I felt so recharged.

My failed midterm was so bad and so not me my professsor reached out to me. Im close with him (in a v appropriate way lol, hes a bruce springsteen fan too) and i felt comfortable telling him essentially that for a few months there things were severe, and I really should've gone in for a 72 hour hold multiple times and i was not safe. through a few lines of resources, I ended up back in therapy bc my school added a new therapist that is a woman (i stopped going last year bc i didnt like seeing a man)

I like my new therapist.

Anway, in about 2 weeks I wrote 2 12 page research papers, 2 book report papers, 1 science paper did 2 presentations, took 2 finals, wrote 2 more finals with essay questions, and at the end of it all, not only did I not fail any classes...

I GOT ALL A'S AND B'S! Which means my gpa is still high enough to renew my scholarship for my last year

I am so fucking proud of myself for accomplishing all this despite suffering so fucking badly. I havnt felt pain like that in years, just agony.

I had a down turn again over christmas bc my siblings were literally ass, upto and including making fun of me for not ating (i am multiple accounts of sexual trauma from several people, so im scared of dating), making fun of my eating, and my sister slapping me and my older brother hitting me. Was a bad time. But for right now, im in the place im staying for break (all january) im back at my old day care and they love me, and olive garden at this store has been going great

Im hoping next semester to be better, im hopful at least

Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who has supported my writing has supported me through these times. It makes me happy that i came her to share my silly little moon knight x reader series, not really intending on writing a whole lot, but next thing i know, i have friends and a lil community. so thank you <3

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Ok so I have had the self imposed misfortune of witnessing some of the "very missed the mark" takes on Nine or just the show's character portrayal in general and, how can someone be...so mISGUIDED. OUGH!!(snapcube sonic 06 voice)

I do realize that no one with these opinions is probably gonna read this (I mean. I am the Nine The Fox blog basically, what are you doing here if you hate the guy) and also won't change their minds but, I don't care. I'm not making this for those people, I just enjoy writing about this guy and been given the prompts to do so. You may enjoy my uncontrolled ~1,500 words long midnight rambling (yea that's like, a whole one-shot what the fucck)

I should wait until morning to edit this before posting but I just need this out there now I cannot argue with a tired self

> So as I've come to find out, people hate Nine because

A) no drip (he's 8, leave him alone <-summary of this whole end of year middle school essay btw)

B) for "betraying Sonic"

And C) for "being a selfish asshat" (paraphrased from one of the tweets I've read)

> Point A, is one that I agree on just cuz I can. But I find him.much easier to draw than Tails so there's that his overall drip I'd say is 6.3/10 (I do not need to bother with the leg placement just draw the pants!! Three rectangles for the base of the body wohoo) And as said, he is a child. Show me the clothes your 8 year old self was wearing and than we can talk.

As for actual character design aspect (which is something I know nothing about so I'm definitely an authority on this subject /lh sarcasm) I think it conveys the basics of him being a moraly gray character by being literaly dressed in gray. His gloves are black and white with his shirt having small splashes of yellow god damn it. He's not nice or a selfless hero type but also not rotten to the core

> moving onto point B because I really do not want to embarass myself by not knowing caharcter design color theory 101. 🅱️oy oh boy I find it so goddamn silly the more I think about it because Nine is literaly the only character from the entire shatterverse cast that has not used or deceived Sonic once for his personal gain.

All of the characters used Sonic to some extent (exept for Nine, my perfect little guy). The resistance tried to recruit Sonic because he's "fast strong and hates the egg", but they did so out of desperation to save their city. Thron used him to get the shard to "protect the jungle" and Prim sent him after Thorn because she probably didn't enjoy starving to death.

But than you have a certain other character that yall conveniently forgotten about, you know, the one that actually in 4k got caught and displayed openly on screen betraying (using the actual definitionnof the word) Sonic because of nothing but pure selfish greed, and for some reason got away with it.

Dread? The one who figuratively spat in Sonic's face just to get the blue shard for no other reason other than having it in his possesion? He had absolutely no quams about throwing his own crew under the bus (or water ig) lie and manipulate them, death threat and blame them for any of his own mistakes and than abandon them when it was the most convenient for him. (How in the ever loving green hill forest did all of this selfishness get redirected at Nine I cannot—)

Nine did not ever betray Sonic for any reason, actually. Instead, he was the only one to genuinely compliment him (even if not to his face or even in his presence but it was said out loud anyway) and If anything, he made constant little sacrifices in the hopes that once Sonic is done playing around a hero they could finally chill at the Grim.

Nine genuinely admired him (were that opinion stands as of the first teaser of the third season is probably not as high as it used to but it still might be burried under all that percieved betrayal) and felt the affection given was genuine as well. He cared enough about Sonic to offer him a place in his own paradise in making ffs, he also cared anough to leave him to the decision whether he wanted to stay or not (until his better judgement got a bit clouded with all the sudden love Sonic kept throwing his way but more on that later)

So no. I have literally no clue how y'all arived at the conclusion that Nine was only using Sonic for- what exactly? To steal the shards? I guess? But that was never his end goal. Sure he needs at the very least one from the Grim but it was Sonic that wanted the rocks in the firts place, and Nine merely helped him get them. He willingly played prisoner so that they could snatch all the shards at once together likenwhsghsgd how do y'all act as if the finale of the second season was some sort of Nine's evil Master Plan to make Sonic cry huh.

And I've been going on for two and a half hours and should probably sleep so point C) Here's where the gray part of his character comes in again because for people who's only expectation for such characters is that they commit crimes but are hot, when that is not the case it becomes a struggle to comprehend an actually moraly ambiguous character that isn't a generaly nice person that cannot be sexualized (because he's eight goddamn years old)

I mean, he is a complete selfish asshole for abandoning the rebels that weren't even there for him to begin with, seeing as Renegade went on attack before Nine himself stopped him. And he is also an irredeemable monster because he didn't care about finishing a fight in a city that he later and multiple times over made abundantly clear he doesn't care about, obviously, the most selfcentered ass there is. /sarc

I guess those weren't the nicest things he could've done but it were definitely the most logical ones from his perspective.

Was it selfish? Yea, and kinda sorta no? Most of his actions in the show were taken because of or for Sonic, in blind faith maybe, but by definition it's not selfishness if you're considerate of another person's interests and feelings

And the fact he took the shards at the end of season two is a completely different story

Just ough, putting one's self in Nine's perspective. Your whole short life, that also just so happened to be in a tyrannically ruled and industrial hellhole, you've been both physically and emotionally tormented and ostracized for being Different, to which you learn that lashing out and then self-isolating is the best defense you can fall back on. Some time passes and a random blue guy breaks into your house, calls you a slur, talks the most out of pocket shit youve heard but for some reason is also the first person to treat you nicely (+saved you from certain death).

Then one thing lead to another, you end up discovering a void and in it an entire empty universe; a plain desolate desert, but to you and the brand new powers in your possesion, it's a blank slate, new start, a safe heaven you fantasized about since you could remember. All the room and power to create anything that your broken child heart could desire, the wildest shit you could think of, whatever you want, you could make it happen, never having to look back ever again. And for an even better change of pace, maybe even have your first friend around as well. It almost doesn't feel real, but it is.

But uh ohs that very tangible fantasy is threatened(was it real after all? Were you?), suddenly you could loose all of it and be miserable again and by god do you not want it to happen, will you not let that happen, will you snap and bite an anything anyone daring to pose a threat to it. Even if it's that suposed friend that served as a catalyst to all of this.

And wanting to defent the little solace you've finnaly found is somehow.. a betrayal on Nine's part.

And I could do a whole another book on Sonic and Shadow's perspective but it's way too late and I have school in three hours so adios

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

I'm starving. Please, tell me your faves SP long fics 🙇🏻‍♀️. Your recommendations are always the best.

Good morning here’s some breakfast! I’ve read a lottttt and I’ve definitely recommended a good chunk of these before, but there’s some more recent ones on this list too! Multiple pairings, some dark subjects, some fluffier stories, all fairly long and most of these are complete! Here we go!!!

The Thief Trilogy by Wintergrew! C’mon we know I’m gonna rec that one every chance I get lmao the lore and world building is absolutely phenomenal!!!

This House of Mine by OrcaTimes another one I’ve recommended a lot BECAUSE IT EATS OK?!? One of the first sp fics I read and it’s so incredibly well written and the character dynamics slay so hard and we know I’m a Kyle girlie I LOVE him in this! Creek centric too!

Ship In A Bottle by FayOfTheForest COMFORT FIC FRFR it got me hooked on style and it’s WONDERFUL

Painted in Shrouds by courtanie THE best kysterion out there I said what I said AINT NOBODY DOIN K2 LIKE COURTANIE the plot is so incredible dude holy shit I was on the edge of my seat

The Stag Prince by SynapticFirefly dude ok y’all know I’ll read anything w my beloved elf Kyle and I KID U NOT THIS IS THE BEST KYMAN IVE EVER READ!!! The characterization is PERFECT like THIS is kyman to me, plus sot au so ofc I’m down it is WONDERFUL the adults are iconic in it too and it’s really a The Gangs All Here story

Hunger Pains by bellwether I KNOW I DONT SHUT UP ABT THIS ONE BUT I DO NOT CARE it truly altered my brain chemistry god chapter 16(?) I believe in particular fuck dude kenny in the whole thing but there’s this moment… and STAN I love my son so much and this is EASILY one of my favorite Stans ever plus I LIVE for Cartman caring about the guys in his own way this fic dude I could write an essay on it

The Illegitimate Opportunity Structure by espyonz STENNY OH MY FUCK this one is PHENOMENAL so far

Behind The Wall by Jwink85 look man ngl this one has been on my rec lists before and that’s because it’s INCREDIBLE also we know I fuck w jwink for the most part. Such an incredible portrayal of abusive relationships and so, so good. The style girlies gettin fed too FUCK I love them. Also dude jwink in general has some incredible stuff just be prepared for some dead dove action in some

speaking of consuming super dead doves, BRUH fuckin To Have And To Hold by courtanie JESUS CHRIST I KNOW IVE RECED THIS ONE BEFORE TOO BUT THATS BECAUSE ITS OBJECTIVELY ONE OF THE BEST STORIES IVE EVER READ YALL want k2? Dark Cryle? Kenny and Stan teamup? The gang forming a plan? Kyle never losing his fire despite everything? Mannnn look no further! I wanna make this a movie so bad

Knives by SparrowGrim dudeeeeeee this is such a cool premise and it feels VERY southparkian in a dystopian kind of way!

South Park Confidential by FayOfTheForest Dude I love this one we got the holy trinity of sp ships with style bunny and creek! It’s such a thrilling crime story SO cool to see characters develop and overcome their own shit, like dude!!!

You know I ain’t doin a rec list without shouting out to the homies!!! Song Of Broflovski by asteria7, pep and rm by boxwinebaddie, Entries From The Past by ViviBaby69420, A Ballad Of True Hearts by luckypoppies, ALL OF THESE KICK SO MUCH ASS!!!

Ok man that’s what I can think of as of rn, THANK U SO MUCH FOR ASKIN

[scoups4lyfe]

VegasPete and Stockholm Syndrome

Okay so….just obsessively scrolling through the KP and VP tags every Saturday I end up seeing everybody and their brothers takes. (And if not on Saturday then I will the entire rest of the week because I check that tag like checking the morning newspaper 🤪)

And seeing “Stockholm Syndrome” for the tv series (esp cause I read the VP side story lmaooo rip) really amused me for multiple reasons,,,

Lemme just start right from the bat and say that it is perfectly valid to be confused on Pete’s actions, especially as he’s been held hostage.

“Why didn’t he leave?? He should of left???”

Obv the thought process here is: Pete hates Vegas —> seen what Vegas goes through and empathized —> worries about his captor —> doesn’t leave when presented the option —> therefore he has Stockholm syndrome.

Mhm mhmmm I can understand how you could come to that conclusion. However, I firmly disagree. I saw a post that said they wanted to label Vegas and Pete’s relationship Stockholm sooooo badly but knew that wasn’t entirely it and that there was something more complex but they couldn’t understand what.

Haha let me explain to you just what that “what” is.

Having read the book, I have a bit more of a foundation when it comes to comparison, making it easier to see and understand the intent behind the way the Director and writers have adapted the novel into the series. I’m in the middle of writing an essay about these changes and why the tv show is hands down (no competition) a million times better (written) than the book.

In the book, yeah I would say Pete and Vegas have a Stockholm relationship. Hmmm maybe not even then? Because if we’re defining Stockholm as a coping mechanism of empathizing with the captor during times of stress and harm in order to help make it through a traumatic situation; then I say: So~so. See, Pete’s mindset in the book is completely different than it is in the series.

In the book there was no understanding for why Vegas is a fked up lil maniac. “Parental abuse? Tough, but people out there have had it tougher 😶✌️.”

That was Pete’s mindset.

It was really “well that sucks for you but I don’t care — cuz you’re a henious villain” thought process.

In fact Pete only started being nice to Vegas/doing what he said so that Vegas would get bored and either kill him or let him go. That’s it. That’s like 92% of their novel relationship. Pete being fake asf so Vegas would find him boring.

Even prior to being captor and captive Book!Pete could not and did not see behind Vegas’ mask. In his own thoughts during his time captive, he thinks about how he had always perceived Vegas as y’know “just some guy” even with Kinn/Tankhun’s warnings — these warnings being the only reason he knew to be wary of Vegas in the first place.

Chef’s kiss 💋 👌👌 to the show for the way they made specific and subtle changes from the source material that would greatly change the entire dynamic of all the characters and their relationships with each other. (But that’s an essay for a whole other day 👀)

Now, how did the show change Vegas and Pete’s relationship into something entirely new, even more fked up than it was in the narrative, and yet somehow a million times better?

Simple.

(1) Pete’s observation skills and ability to see through Vegas mask from the very beginning. AND his “there’s no heroes or villains” mindset

(2) Pete *choosing* to sneak in with the knowledge and preparation of his torture and death should things go wrong.

(3) The shared experience of both having abusive fathers.

(Pete being the more mature and introspective and aware one between the two, aKa giving Vegas some solid therapy and enlightenment.)

(4) The clippers that have been left in the room with Pete. These writers have been intentional to the *T* — if all these damn essays and meta aren’t proof enough to yall of that then 🤷 idk what else I could give to prove that to you.

(Listennnnnnn,,, you don’t have all these intentional choices for every little thing and then accidentally leave bolt cutters on set of an important scene. Would make no damn sense.)

(5) The hedgehog 🦔

(Vegas didn’t have a pet in the novel…not one I remember at least.)

(6) The Key 🔑

(7) Vegas not initiating the Kiss

Okay. All of the above 1–7 are just a few of the changes made that have major importance for both Pete and Vegas’ relationship.

With Pete being able to see under Vegas’ mask we know that Vegas’ fake masks don’t fool him. There’s something about Vegas that Pete can see through. So when Pete chooses to sneak into the minor family compound — vocally stating before he does it that he knows the consequences— this informs the audience that he’s prepared for them. For capture, torture, death. Which is why when Vegas comes in to torture him and Pete knows he’s foiled his plans and will most likely die? Dude has nothing to lose, so he’ll be damned if he’ll let Vegas see his fear.

Not only does this give Pete a lot more agency. (In the book it was just, wrong place, wrong time); but — as fked up as it is — it also lets the audience feel less bad when he does inevitably get caught / tortured.

It’s not that he asked for it, but at least he knew what was going to happen. An unsuspecting victim is a lot more pitiable than a suspecting victim. Especially if it’s a consequence of a choice he voluntarily made — compared to being forced to investigate via ‘boss’s order.’ So already the writers are setting us up to not hate Vegas as much as we would if Pete truly stumbled into the situation on accident.

Now one of the most important differences — that shared trauma of having an abusive father, and using it to relate to Vegas. Unlike Book!Pete, our Pete recognizes Vegas’ situation. He’s been in the same place — while having the actual affection of his grandmother to fall back on (which Vegas obv didn’t have); therefore he also understands why Vegas tortures him the way that he does — he understands that Vegas is only feeling pathetic and lousy and is taking that out on him.

But in that tender and melancholic moment when Vegas decides to be vulnerable after patching up Pete’s wounds, Pete talks to Vegas with an understanding only someone in his position (or a therapist lol) would have. Even then, objectively knowing something is different than having experienced it yourself. And it’s the fact that Pete’s *also* experienced that sh*t that lends credibility to what he’s saying — at least in Vegas’ eyes.

This is why Pete knows there’s no good or evil, hero or villain, black or white binary in this world.

Because when you get down to it: we truly are shaped by our environments and the things we experience as we grow (obv not ignoring genetics but that’s not the point). And it’s this reflective and mature/observational outlook that helps him empathize with Vegas.

More than empathize — it’s *this* outlook that helps Pete not hold lasting grudges or hate for past hurts.

It’s always easier to forgive someone when you know where they’re coming from.

And Pete never really took it personally (for the most part) considering Vegas is on an opposing side. When an enemy gets captured on the enemy’s base of course they’d get either killed or tortured, esp for information.

That’s not something special to Vegas.

Vegas refusing to kill Pete tho? Lol. That’s enough for a dislike to sour. But I don’t think it sours all that much once we put in the consideration of Pete’s observations recognizing what Vegas is — a victim of an abusive home/situation.

(Not that it excuses him, but nobody’s trying to do that here LOL.)

Now getting down to the nitty gritty.

The hedgehog, the key, and why Pete isn’t a victim of Stockholm syndrome.

First, I think the hedgehog 🦔 is very important because it gives the audience (and Pete) another reason to empathize with Vegas — humans might not mean sh*t to him, but he loves and takes care of his pets.

He loves something. He cares about something. This humanizes him.

And a small and fragile pet can often humanize a character more than a human. A real sicko kills animals. But Vegas’ care for his hedgehog 🦔 shows that he isn’t that. He’s human too—albeit a really fked up one, but human nonetheless. He’s capable of love too, but perhaps humans have hurt him so much that he knows only an animal would be something he can trust.

This kind of trust and love he can only find in animals is also a very isolating existence. It highlights just how trapped Vegas is — the Hedgehog is literally a mirror of himself and his situation.

Yes he cares for Macau — but it’s “easier” to care for a human than an animal. Easier to empathize with a human. So while yeah, his care for his brother, while subtle in the show, is important, it isn’t as important to the audience as his love for his hedgehog. Especially when it comes to convincing an audience to forgive a character’s past villainy and long list of crimes.

But here’s what’s really important — the key.

Vegas leaving the key there (intentional or not; but imo, I think it’s obv intentional. Dude is way too meticulous for that to be accidental), gives Pete the agency to either escape or stay.

This, again, helps the audience be more okay with the idea of the two of them ending up in a relationship. It’s one thing if Pete has no choice and goes along with things to survive or cope with trauma — but it’s entirely something else if he’s allowed to leave, but doesn’t.

But Pete’s reason for staying has to be rational in some sense so the suspension of disbelief doesn’t attack the audience going 900 mph on the logic freeway.

So him escaping but seeing Vegas sitting pathetically on the grass, alone in the dark, and holding his dead pet?

The person there isn’t the dude that tortured him. Naw, that part of Vegas — is the child trapped in a cage and left isolated in the dark while anything that had ever brought him light or comfort in his life leaves him. He may be sitting on grass, but for Vegas it could’ve been the equivalent of sitting on broken glass.

It’s such a stark difference too from the versions of Vegas Pete’s used to seeing. Yeah he had that conversation about dads last episode, but even then Vegas wasn’t totally broken and left in despair.

But this Vegas?

This Vegas was someone so broken he couldn’t even cry until Pete touched him to provide comfort.

This Vegas isn’t just a sharp edge that can cut you if you get too close, now’s he’s much too broken for that — and his sharp edge has twisted inward from attacking others to attacking himself.

At this point, Pete’s beyond empathizing with his captor — esp because he isn’t a captive here. He’s not chained anymore. Vegas has no interest holding him captive. Pete at any point after he got out of those chains could have left and Vegas would do nothing to stop him.

Vegas is broken. He’s depressed. And he’s numb because it hurts too much to do anything but sit in his own despair. Pete touching him in comfort might’ve opened the floodgates of that hurt, but that doesn’t mean it changed how Vegas felt. Dude is still in despair when he heads inside.

Anyways this is getting too long so I’ll make a part two — getting more particular in the psychology of why Pete stayed, and why he kissed Vegas.

Closing words to end on:

Pete doesn’t leave because he knows what it’s like, and he’s sees the humanity and pain in Vegas and he cares. He cares because no broken and abused kid should be left isolated in the dark, not even knowing how to cry. He cares because he wants to do for Vegas what his grandmother did for him. What he wished more people would have done when he was in that pain and darkness.

He cares because he looks at Vegas and he sees himself.

[hopes-legacy]

I could write a whole essay about how Roku being born under the ocean in a secluded village impacted him as a person (spoiler alert the answer is it literally makes him everything that he is and how he sees the world) but I will spare yall from that.

[dirtbag-linecook-kyloren]

Hux and Kylo’s design aesthetics

HUX

If you don’t think in this au hux was heavily inspired by chanel you’re absolutely crazy. homeboy loves a shoulder pad, he’s eating those wool jackets up,

here are a few looks from (I think Spring/Summer 22 but I got there through the link for 23 so who knows) that are very in line with the shit I see him working with

Like, he loves a clean line, he loves a heavy fabric, he loves a linen, he loves a small pattern and a few darts that do an important job. When he was younger, honestly, his dream was probably to work for chanel, and then he decided to dream a little bigger, or he loosened his own style.

and if he’s getting weird, I think it’s more elie saab than vera wang, when it comes to haute design. (Although honestly I think he does lean more towards ready to wear designs. he understands how haute affects the industry it’s just not really his thing.)

some elie saab looks I think fall in line with what he does, though, from his autumn/winter 22-23

Like if he’s going big he’s going it with intricacy and clean lines. like if he’s doing beadwork, it’s neat and orderly, if he’s draping he’s keeping it in order. But I think doing stuff like this is harder for him, because he’s a more practical designer.

but I don’t think hux wears a lot of “feminine”  clothing. I think he also has a love/hate relationship with a lot of menswear designers because of it, Like i can’t picture him ever purposely choosing to wear something from gucci because he would 100% think most of it is gauche as hell (And I would agree it’s a lot like what are these pants and why was that what you went for)

I don’t think he wears prints that aren’t plaids tbh. Like it’s not a masculinity thing but I think he’d rather be dead than wear a floral. also can’t see him owning a pair of jeans but he probably owns a few way too expensive pairs of sweat pants that he refuses to leave the house in. Like, I picture him being super anal about his image and what he wears

I think he probably likes tom ford? it’s pretty basic as an opinion but I don’t know a lot about men’s wear so most of my opinions are pretty basic here I’m so fuckin open to suggestions yall. Here are a few like, pieces I think would be closet staples for him?

like so truly do I think he wears mostly neutral colors? this isn’t a bit I’m working real hard to try and picture him in this au wearing something that it’s a neutral but I think even the few colors he wears are pretty neutral I think he’s got a color palette like this

like he probably wears khaki? and likes it? big fan of corduroy too? just lives with a very muted color palette because that’s honestly what he likes

kylo, though, he’s a whole other story

KYLO

if you’ve ever seen a piece of clothing on a runway and thought “Wow that’s stupid” there’s 100% chance that kylo ren not only loves it but could write a 100 page essay on why it is the way it is, and half of it would be bullshit but he would mean it all

I mentioned vera wang earlier for a reason, because oh my god does she have some wild looks that I think kylo absolutely loves

Like hey vera bestie I personally have some questions but kylo ren is at your dinner table because he thinks you’re serving (these are from her last three collections because they’re smaller and some of them are normal and some of them are too weird for even kylo I feel like)

here are some carolina herrara pieces I think kylo would like

If you’re thinking, wow emily, that sure is a lot of tulle and tulle-like fabrics, that’s because you’ve come to meet what I’ve decided is our boy kylo ren’s favorite fabric: motherfuckin tulle. he literally cannot get enough of the stuff, uses it in as many fuckin things as he can. he loves a big moment, he loves a cape, he loves a weird silhouette, loves playing with the idea of form. if he can do something weird, you bet your ass he’s going to, and his goal is to make you like that something weird. ( I also had to comb through a few collections for this, because a lot of her design work is things I really think suit hux more)

I personally am on a elie saab kick rn so here are nine pieces from ss21 I think kylo ren wants to own and wear because he is a “fashion has no gender” kind of guy in this au

like if it is big and you could give it a funky head pieces kylo is IN (and the cream dress and the way it gathers at the shoulders just feels very, like, in line with his cloak? if you took his cloak and bleached it and made it a runway piece.)

i think his own personal style is weird as hell it’s giving art school and also “gender isn’t real” he owns overall dresses he has a scarf collection he actually likes what gucci puts out a quarter of the time. he owns a canadian tuxedo and WEARS it like a fuckin monster

Like i’m trying so hard to find a major menswear designer with even like, six pieces that I think kylo would wear but it’s honestly super hard the closet i’ve gotten from one is the latest two collections from ysl and even it’s not a great fit

and it’s really just the shirts are fun and I think but they’re not quite right i s2g i may have to turn to pinterest for this shit hold on (i’ve been at this for a few hours I need to go to bed soon) but it’s like, sleeveless turtlenecks and actual blouses and loose, flowing pants? he 100% owns a skirt or two but they’re also floorlength and flowing so it’s hard to tell when he’s wearing palazzo pants and when it’s a skirt

like these are some piece by palomo spain that I think capture the idea of what we’re looking at, but they’re all runway pieces, for the most part, and not exactly every day clothes. (although ren 100% has a skirt like that first one and it sees a lot of wear. he made it by hand a la bernadette banner when his sewing machine was in the shop and it’s probably his favorite thing he owns.)

because kylo’s own clothing aesthetic is so eclectic it’s hard to find enough pieces from one designer to capture it??? (also i tried to use adam driver photoshoots but people don’t get weird enough with styling him honestly? and so often they just... don’t put a shirt on him? which is probably great for a lot of people but I’m so truly far too asexual for that to matter and it feels like a waste of a potential design element??)

EDIT: ALSO IN THIS AU KYLO 1000% owNS AND WEARS SEVERAL CORSETS I HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS ABOUT THIS THAT ILL SHARE AT A LATER DATE BECAUSE ITS 000 AND I MUST SLEEP

Thoughts??? opinions?? I would love to know what others think my next job is to start assigning them designs from actual project runway episodes because I think i’ve got all the challenges they’re going to do chosen and most of the contestants, and also selected some of the pairings for potential team challenges. I know who’s going to be the final two designers and it’s so exciting to have that information tbh

I’ve also got a slightly different make up for how eliminations go because I needed to for plot reasons, so there are two final designers, and they each bring back one designer from earlier in the season to help complete the collection. It’ll be better and more dramatic this way and also I couldn’t come up with a third person so this is for the best

but yeah that’s my word vomit about this au. I’m thinking about writing it or my beauty blogger!kylo and minecraft youtuber!hux au next because my other  three fics I’m planning are like, plot heavy and intense and require so much more planning so they’ll need more time to simmer.

[courtney-deserved-better]

okay so yall remember gwen’s whole “he wasn’t her boyfriend when i kissed him” schtick in tdas right? and how it was bullshit writing that didn’t make sense? well its still bad writing and the writers didnt intend for it to make sense but i figured out how it could.

so for the first half of tdwt we see courtney and duncan’s relationship from courtney’s perspective, right? she’s the one looking for him on rocks and admitting she messed up in the confessional and refusing to strip down a london guard bc of her relationship (though that might’ve just been an excuse to not do it, but she was still thinking of duncan). courtney clearly believes they are still together in some capacity, which is why the kiss with gwen hurts her so much. gwen is her teammate and friend, with her constantly throughout this, so she understands, from courtney’s perspective, that courtney and duncan are dating.

but there’s a lot of ambiguity, situationally, as to whether courtney was technically dating duncan when the kiss happened. from her perspective, she thinks she is. but they’re broken up for a fair amount of time before the celebrity manhunt reunion special, with their only interactions being bickering and some kissing in between, but mostly the former. and then duncan quits the show before they get back into any kind of groove, leaving courtney behind thinking they’re together when he’s on a different page. 

so where does gwen’s change of heart come in? after kissing duncan, she’s super guilty because that’s her friend’s boyfriend she kissed. and she’s guilty for the next couple episodes, but growing more antagonistic toward courtney (conspiring with heather and cody to vote her off, yelling “suck it courtney” when she lost the tiebreaker) near the end. and then come tdas, she wants to make up with courtney, but she’s changed her tune when it comes to what happened. “even thought he wasn’t your boyfriend at the time” “even though i technically didn’t do anything wrong” whatever happened to gwen calling herself a horrible person in the plane confessional?

i believe that change comes in because she was spending more time around duncan as opposed to courtney, and adopting his view on their relationship. duncan thinks that he and courtney weren’t together, so it was fine for him to kiss gwen! courtney’s the one overreacting and unable to get over her ex! and because gwen spends the ~year in between seasons 3-5 dating duncan and not talking to courtney, she begins to believe this as well. her perspective shifts from “i kissed my friend’s boyfriend” to “i kissed my friend’s ex who she has lingering feelings for, but wasn’t with when i kissed him”. and it’s not just because she’s getting duncan’s perspective on the situation now, it’s because it’s easier for her to believe that she hasn’t done anything wrong. she feels guilty about how it went down, not what she did. 

do i think gwen’s reasoning here is shitty? yes. do i think the writing surrounding the situation is shitty? also yes. do i think the writers didn’t think about any of this analysis when writing tdas and this is my pure speculation and overthinking a cartoon? yes!! but unfortunately total drama is my hyperfixation so you get fucking five paragraph essays on this shit. hope you enjoyed.