#I couldn't write Virg

[gumnut-logic]

Tousled (Bit 1)

I managed to prompt myself (well, it is possibly @ak47stylegirl​ ‘s fault) and ended up with this randomness. I have written more but I’m falling asleep at the keyboard.

Have some sick!Alan and worried!Scott. Doesn’t really go anywhere yet, but I’m working on it.

I hope you enjoy it anyway.

-o-o-o-

Five times! Five times Scott had ruffled his hair today!

Alan glared at the door his brother had walked through. Alan might be sick, but he was no longer a little kid.

He reached up and stubbornly flattened his hair down again.

He knew it was a sign of affection. He knew he should be grateful for Scott and everything he did for him. Alan was an orphan with four amazing brothers among an amazing supportive family. He was grateful.

Honest!

But if Scott touched his hair one more time he would bite his fingers off.

He was fifteen, for goodness’ sake. Practically a grown up.

He did not need his hair ruffled every hour or two.

Despite this, Alan straightened out his features and his posture as Scott walked back into the room, medicine in hand.

“Grandma says, this should do the job. Help with your breathing and clear your chest a bit.”

Alan did not glare as his brother poured the required amount into a medicine cup.

No, he didn’t glare at all, because this was his cherished big brother who was risking infection to look after him. He’d even stayed back from a rescue to do so and Alan owed him everything.

Bite his fingers off!

Maybe it was the fever talking.

“Here, drink it all up and lick it clean. Make sure you get all of it in you.”

Alan didn’t say anything as he took the cup.

Scott frowned. “Alan?”

He pressed his lips together and guzzled what proved to be revoltingly sweet ugh that crawled down his throat like a caterpillar.

You’d think they would have invented some decent cold medicine by now.

“You okay?” Worry flickered in those brotherly blue eyes.

Alan gulped down the last of the ghastly stuff and cleared his throat. “I’m fine.”

His brother took the used cup and stood up. Shoving the bottle of medicine into the same hand, he reached out towards Alan’s temple.

“Gawd, I’m fine, Scott, leave me alone!”

Turning away, Alan threw himself under the covers and curled up, obviously dismissing Scott.

Rather rudely.

He was sick. He could get away with it.

Okay, so hearing his brother’s soft grunt of disappointment and his quiet movements as he left really sucked.

But then Alan really sucked anyway and it was a sucky day and, yeah, it all sucked.

Guilt chased him into an uneasy sleep.

-o-o-o-

He had no clue how long he had been out when he was woken by a clatter.

“Oh, damn.”

Alan rolled over to find his eldest brother on the floor beside his bed, the remains of a fold up chair beneath him.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”

Alan’s head was full of Thunderbird exhaust, he felt achy and tired. “Why are you in my room?”

“Keeping you company.”

Alan stared at his big brother a moment, his head swimming. “I’m fifteen, Scott. It’s just a cold.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Do you want me to leave?”

Alan blinked, unsure how to answer that question. “I’m fifteen.”

“I know that, squirt.” And suddenly he was being held, soft cotton against his cheek, fingers combing through his hair. It was nice.

Then Scott was laying him gently back on the covers.

“Go back to sleep, Allie.” Scott ruffled his hair.

“Don’t do that!” It was an involuntary snarl.

His big brother startled a step back, eyes wide. “Alan?”

Alan’s own eyes widened in realisation of what he had done. But where there was usually genius, there was currently fog and he was clueless as to what to do next.

“Talk to me, Alan.” The words were low and had just that hint of mixed worry and command.

“Don’t do that.” Alan blinked. “Please.”

“Do what?”

“Mess with my hair. I’m not a little kid anymore.”

A worried frown. “Okay.”

Was it stupid that Alan thought he could see Scott’s hands twitching as if he desperately needed to reach out and tousle Alan’s hair right this moment?

But his brother didn’t. In fact, he straightened a little, shoulders back as if he was in the military again.

You know, the military that had hurt him so much.

Alan’s heart sank. He’d hurt Scott. One of the four bestest brothers in the world and he hurt him.

“You get some sleep, Allie. I’ll go check on Virgil.”

And Scott was turning and leaving and Alan was a horrible brother and he should say something but his head wasn’t working properly…

And then Scott was out the door and gone.

Alan groaned and rolled over hard enough that to set his head spinning.

Didn’t matter. He deserved it.

He lay there for a bit, again he had no idea how long. But at some point he coughed and curled up and fell into yet another restless sleep.

-o-o-o-

Next

[allgoodnamesrgoneee]

Hello Bianca! I'm the Virgil anon who requested the smut. Thank you so much! I really enjoyed it 👏🏾🫶🏾💕 you definitely feed the Virgil girlies 🥹

I have another idea for Virgil. Could you write something about Reader meeting Virgil for the first time and she's not impressed. There is a sexual tension between then, she plays hard to get but ends up giving her contact.

Thank you so much 🫶🏾

I got you, girl😉

Hard to get

Masterlist

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — You meet virgil for the first time and you're not having it.

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — Virgil Van Dijk x you

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 2.3k

Warnings! Fluff, reluctant reader, flirty Virg, sexual tensionnn, nonexistent angst,

The club was loud when you walked in, the bass from the speakers thumping in your chest. Multicolored lights flashed across the crowded dance floor, illuminating faces that blurred together in a haze of movement and energy. You could barely hear yourself think over the music and chatter, feeling your headache getting worse.

Damn, you should have never agreed to come.

As you make your way through the throng of people, you spot her friends near the bar, laughing and clinking glasses. Their joy is almost infectious, but you can’t shake off the feeling of discomfort. You take a deep breath, trying to summon the energy to put on a smile and join them.

"Hey, you made it!" one of them shouts over the music, pulling you into a quick hug. The strong scent of her perfume mixes with the smoky air, making you slightly dizzy.

You nod, forcing a smile. "Yeah, couldn't miss it," you reply, though the words feel hollow. This is the last thing you need after the day you've had. You just want to go back home and cuddle with your cat while watching the newest Kdrama.

Lord knows you've been waiting for it to come out. But you promised Charlotte you would come. And you never break your promises. Ever.

You glance around, hoping to spot Charlotte quickly and get this over with. Your eyes scan the room, catching glimpses of dancing bodies and animated conversations.

Finally, you see her near the DJ booth, her hands waving in the air as she dances with wild abandon. Charlotte's energy is a stark contrast to your own, her happiness almost tangible.

You push your way through the crowd, each step feeling like a monumental effort. As you approach, she notices you and her face lights up even more. "You made it!" she exclaims, pulling you into a tight hug.

"Yeah, wouldn't miss it," you repeat, this time with a bit more sincerity. Seeing her so happy does make you feel a little better.

Charlotte leans in close, her voice barely audible over the music. "Come on, let's dance!" she urges, tugging at your arm.

You hesitate, but then decide to go along with it. Maybe, just maybe, if you let yourself go, you'll find a way to enjoy the night. You let her lead you to the dance floor, the music pounding in your ears and the lights flashing around you.

You try to endure it. You really do. For her sake. But the relentless assault on your senses is too much. The music feels like it's shaking your bones, the lights are a chaotic blur, and the press of bodies around you is suffocating. Every instinct is screaming at you to leave, to find a quiet corner and just breathe.

Charlotte turns to you, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Isn't this amazing?" she shouts, her voice barely cutting through the noise.

You nod, but it's a weak attempt at enthusiasm. She doesn't seem to notice, too caught up in the moment. As you stand there, swaying awkwardly to the beat, you start to feel dizzy. The room spins slightly, and you realize you need to get out before you embarrass yourself.

"Charlotte," you manage to say, leaning in close so she can hear. "I'm gonna get some air. Be right back."

She looks concerned for a split second, but then she nods, giving you a quick squeeze. "Okay! Don't be long!"

You give her a reassuring smile and start making your way to the exit. Each step feels like a marathon, but finally, you reach the bar, the temporary relief of having some space helping you catch your breath. You signal the bartender, "Can I get a water?" He nods and disappears to the back. You take the opportunity to lean against the counter, trying to ground yourself amidst the chaos around you.

The drink arrives, and you take a sip, savoring the cool liquid as it slides down your throat. It helps, but only a little. You glance back towards the dance floor, seeing Charlotte still lost in her own world.

Part of you wants to stay for her, but another, louder part of you is screaming for escape. You weigh your options, swirling the water in your hand. Maybe just a few more minutes to collect yourself, you think. Then you can decide.

"Rough night?" The voice beside you catches you off guard. It's deep. Deeper than anything you've ever heard. And you hate the way it makes your thighs clench. God, it's been a while.

Get a grip, girl.

You look up to see a tall, ruggedly handsome man standing before you. His dark hair was pulled back into a bun, and his intense eyes bore into yours with a mixture of curiosity and something else you couldn't quite place.

"Actually, I do mind," you reply coolly, taking a sip of your drink.

"Well, that's a shame," he said, sliding into the seat across from you anyway. "Name’s Virgil."

"Good for you," you responded, not even trying to hide your disinterest. You're usually friendly but you're headache plus your asshole of a coworker had already drained every ounce of patience you had. You just wanted to be left alone, to drink your water and maybe, if you were lucky, sneak out without Charlotte noticing.

Virgil didn’t seem deterred by your cold response. He leaned back, a small chuckle leaving his lips, the sound low and rich. "You’ve got a sharp tongue. I like that."

You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Is that supposed to flatter me?"

"Depends," he replies, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. "Is it working?" You roll your eyes, but there's a small part of you that appreciates his persistence.

"Not really," you say, taking another sip of your water. "Look, I'm not in the mood for small talk. Just here to support a friend and get through the night." You say, your tone firm but not unkind. He frowns a little at your words and you hate how cute he looks doing it. Not the time, Y/N.

"Fair enough," Virgil says, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "No more small talk."

You sigh, feeling a bit guilty for being so curt. "It's been a rough day," you admit, looking down at your glass. "Just… needed a moment to breathe."

"I get that," he says, his tone softer now. "Clubs can be overwhelming, especially if you're not in the right headspace."

You nod, appreciating the understanding. "Yeah, it's not really my scene. But my friend, Charlotte—"you gesture towards the dance floor where she's still dancing, "she loves it. And I promised I'd come."

Virgil follows your gaze and nods. "Looks like she's having a great time. You're a good friend for being here."

"Thanks," you say, feeling a bit more at ease. You were strangely enjoying talking to him. "I just need a break from all the noise."

He glances around the crowded bar, then back at you. "How about we step outside for a bit? Get some fresh air?"

You hesitate, but the idea of a quieter space is tempting. "Okay," you agree, sliding off your stool. "But just for a few minutes."

Virgil leads the way through the throng of people tall frame paving the way for you, and you follow, feeling slightly relieved as the noise begins to fade.

Once outside, the cool night air is a welcome contrast to the stifling atmosphere inside. You take a deep breath, feeling your headache start to ease.

"Better?" Virgil asks, leaning against the wall. He looks good like that.

"Much," you reply, closing your eyes for a moment and savoring the quiet. "Thanks."

"No problem," he says, his voice gentle. "Sometimes, you just need to step away for a bit." You open your eyes and look at him, noticing the way the streetlights cast a warm glow on his face. His eyes dim a little as they meet yours, and you can see a hint of understanding in them. Hm, interesting.

"So, what brought you to the club tonight?" you ask, curious despite yourself.

"Meeting some friends," he says with a shrug. "We just got back into town and decided to celebrate."

"Town?" you repeat, intrigued. "You're from here?"

"I used to be," he replies. "But I've been playing soccer professionally for a few years now. Just got back from England for a bit of a break." You take in the new information, thinking about how different his life must be. Now that you think of it…you've seen him before.

"That's pretty cool," you say. "I'm a nurse."

"Really?" he asks, his eyebrows arching in surprise. "How old are you?"

You laugh at the question. "Twenty-seven." And then add, "Why, how old are you?"

"Thirty-two," he replies with a chuckle. "Sorry, didn't mean to sound rude. Just didn't expect you to be a nurse."

"I get that a lot," you say, shaking your head. "Guess I look younger than I am." You feel him glance at you, and your heart rate picks up. The way his eyes run over your body makes you feel like a dessert he wants to devour. You feel your thighs clench slightly at the thought.

"Sorry, I'm being an ass," he says, shaking his head. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"No, it's okay," you assure him. "It happens."

There's a moment of silence, and then he speaks again. "So, do you like being a nurse?"

"It can be hard sometimes," you admit, thinking about today. "But I like helping people." You think of all the times you've held someone's hand or comforted their family. "It's rewarding in its own way."

He nods, looking thoughtful. "Yeah, I can understand that. There's something satisfying about knowing you're making a difference." You smile, enjoying the easy conversation. This is going so much better than your last date. The thought makes you sad a little. Damn, I need a better love life, you think.

As you chat, the sounds from inside the club fade into the background. There's only you and him. The world shrinks around you until it's only the two of you, the cool air, and the faint hum of traffic. It's a heady feeling. You like the way he makes you feel. The way he seems to want you.

And maybe you want him too. Maybe.

"What about you?" you ask, changing the subject. "Do you like being a professional soccer player?"

His smile is immediate. And beautiful. God, he has a beautiful smile. Your heart is fluttering at the sight. "It's the best thing in the world," he says, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "There's nothing quite like being on the field, playing my heart out." He pauses for a moment, looking thoughtful. "It's hard sometimes. There's a lot of pressure and stress, but at the end of the day, it's worth it."

You nod, seeing the passion in him. "That sounds amazing," you say, meaning it. You're happy for him.

There's a pause again, and you look up at Virgil. His gaze has grown more serious, and you can feel a different kind of tension in the air. A sexual tension.

"I really like talking to you," he says, his voice low and husky. You feel your breath catch in your throat. You really like talking to him too.

"I really like talking to you too," you reply, trying to sound cool despite the way your pulse is pounding in your ears. He steps closer, his body heat radiating towards you, making you feel like you're being drawn to him. Like the world is tilting to make sure you're closer.

"I was thinking," he says, his voice dropping even lower. "Maybe we could grab some coffee sometime?" His eyes are intense, and you can see the desire in them. The need to get closer.

"I'm not sure," you reply, trying to sound nonchalant. You're playing hard to get but you really, really want to say yes.

He steps even closer, his face inches from yours. "Come on, I'm really not that bad." His tone is persuasive, and you can feel your resolve weakening. He's too charming, too magnetic. Too hot. And you haven't gotten laid in a while.

"Okay," you finally say, relenting. You don't want him to think you're easy. But damn, you want to kiss him.

"Great," he says, a wide smile stretching across his face. He pulls out his phone, holding it out for you to put your number in.

You do, and then he sends you a quick text to save your number. You smile as you see his name pop up on your phone, a thrill running through you.

"Thanks," Virgil says, slipping his phone back into his pocket. "Looking forward to it."

"Me too," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper. You step back slightly, feeling overwhelmed by his closeness. You glance back towards the club, the music now sounding almost inviting. "I should probably get back to my friend."

"Yeah," he says, his voice sounding a little disappointed. "It was nice meeting you."

"Likewise," you reply, smiling softly. He nods, and then walks past you towards the door. You follow, watching him enter the club first, then slipping in behind him. You take a moment to look at his ass before you lose sight of him.

Damn, it's been a while since you've seen an ass that fine.

You make your way to the dance floor, finding Charlotte with your friends. You join them, letting the music wash over you. You lose track of Virgil, but you don't mind. You're happy for the rest of the night, dancing and laughing with your friends. And maybe, just maybe, you're looking forward to coffee sometime soon.

Maybe.

Possibly.

Probably.

Definitely.

-Bianca🌻

[anxiouslyfred]

Haunted

Summary: The Dead Boy Detectives get a letter asking if they can advise on a ghosts neighbour who seems to be haunted by people identical to him. Thomas wonders why his sides keep mentioning silent men coming into his house when he can see nobody.

Authors Note: I have no brain power after yesterdays writing so this is weirdness. For any fics not Sander sides I post them to @fandoms-in-law

My Idea for todays Fic: A ghost on Thomas's street seeks out the dead boy detectives over thomas being haunted. None of them, not even Crystal, know what to make of Thomas being unable to see Charles and Edwin be all his sides can. Edwin just wants an answer of some sort but nothing is in their books.

/\/\

"Dear Dead Boy Detectives, I understand you are based in England but I was wondering if you have any insight into my neighbour. He's alive but seems to be haunted by multiple identical ghosts. Identical to him and each other except in clothing that is and their appearance changes when his does usually. This has perterbed by afterlife multiple times and although these ghosts seem to see me while my neighbour cannot they refuse to interact with me except through making my neighbour do so. Please reply if this is anything you've encountered before that needs worrying over. Sincerely Liam."

Charles and Edwin shared a concerned look after the letter had been read out, before Edwin started going through their shelves.

"Perhaps, Crystal, you will be needed to solve this case with us, but I'll research here. Charles, can you pop into the house of this Thomas Sanders to see if you can meet these ghosts or indeed the man Liam is so concerned about?"

"On it, see you in a bit, Mate." Charles agreed, disappearing through the mirror as Crystal groaned a little. "Really hope I don't need to, those flights drag."

/\

"Yay, another home invasion via mirrors. Did the guy from three doors down send him?" Virgil grumbled from the staircase. He didn't think the kid was a threat, not just because he appeared young, but because he'd looked curious rather than scheming.

Thomas turned around, unable to see anyone other than Virgil. "What do you mean Virge? No one else is here."

"Just like there wasn't for that guy. Thomas, you're going to get yourself killed one of these days being so unobservant." He complained. "Okay, I guess walking through him works. What is with this house and intangible men?"

"I'm an intangible man, Virgil. Want to try?" Remus cooed, popping up beside him and trying to push Virgil's hand through his chest. "But if you're concerned over this guy, I can get my morningstar."

Thomas glanced warily at where he'd just walked through. "If he's just looking around I don't think that's neccessary. You made me replace my TV last time something like this happened."

"Oh, no, that was because Roman decided to fight him." Janus appeared, staring at the spot Thomas still couldn't see anyone in. "It would be much easier to know why these men appeared if we could hear them. Can Logan lip read?"

Thomas shook his head. "You only know the things I've learnt and my need to lip read has been limited. People usually have signals if I need to know things from a distance on stage."

"Then everything is fine as you say. Virgil's just being more vigilant for dangers than normal." Janus soothed, waving the stranger away.

/\

"These ghosts can't hear us and seem to be known to Thomas. One did seem violent and another was mentioned similarly. I don't think it's a worry for anyone but Thomas though." Charles said, coming back to the office.

"Unlikely to be multiple identical ghosts though if they couldn't hear you." Edwin replied, "I've been unable to find any similar occurrances so far however. Are you against going to learn more, Crystal?"

"Might as well find out what Thomas thinks is going on." Crystal sighed mock frustrated as she stood. "I'll get the plane ticket booked."

/\

Thomas peered out at the strange woman curiously, "Hello?"

"Hi, I'm Crystal Palace. I'm a psychic who works as part of the Dead Boy Detectives and recently a neighbouring ghost of yours has grown concerned over you. Would you prefer I leave as a mad woman or can I ask you a couple of questions to assuage the ghosts worries?" She'd debated how to approach Thomas on the entire flight and journey over, but after realising he lived in a private area she decided the truth was best, even if it sounded unlikely or impossible.

Thomas blinked at her and she saw multiple men near identical to him pop up just through the doorway, no mirrors in sight. None of them spoke however until Thomas nodded, "I guess I can entertain that idea for a while. Come in."

"Are you mad, Thomas? She could be a murderer? Or here to steal all your money? Or-" The copy of him in a hoodie and eyeshadow beneath his eyes started rambling about dangers until Crystal looked right at him.

"Or I'm a psychic with two ghost detectives very curious to know why Thomas can't see him, the men who seem to be ghosts can but can't hear them and all change appearance in some ways at the same time according to the correspondence we recieved asking us to check everything with Thomas is okay." She replied as succinctly as she could, noticing Edwin and Charles appearing out of the mirror on Thomas's counter. "Edwin and Charles are the ghosts who just arrived. Who are the rest of you?"

Thomas watched her curiously, looking around his living room. "They're my sides. They help me think through situations."

"I'm Virgil and I still don't trust you, or them." The hoodie version greeted.

"I'm Logan and the existence of ghosts is intriguing. Can you tell me more, about them and about your psychic powers?" One of the versions wearing glasses and a tie greeted.

"And what are Sides? Helpful spirits? Something the person generates? Does Thomas know other people with similar 'sides'?" Edwin chimed in, notebook in hand and mirroring Logan's curiousity.

Before Crystal could reply or anyone else could introduce themselves and more possible tangents Thomas cleared his throat. "I'm Thomas, as you apparently know, and the sides are parts of me; Creativity, Anxiety, Logic, Morality and Deceit. The labels are just what they most often help me with, and yes, there are two creativities in case everyone shows up now. The two that haven't spoken up are Patton, morality, and Janus, Deceit."

"Charles mentioned one of them seeming violent when he tried to check on you and them before." Crystal asked, wondering how long it would be before Logan or Edwin asked their questions again.

"Probably Remus if he was the last person I couldn't see to show up." Thomas decided after a moments thought. "He can be quite violent at times. Other times he's just gross or disturbing."

Crystal nodded, "Okay, so I'm probably fine to be here then. Do you know how your sides formed? It's not something Edwin's encountered before and he's been around a while."

"Not really. I used similar characters for Vine and youtube and sooner or later they actually showed up. I assumed I'd just grown so used to imagining them that I worked through everything in such a way automatically." Thomas explained, "Although Logan has made comments over them having been around for longer than that."

Logan nodded. "Indeed, although prior to his videos we remained generally internal. It's still essentially talking to himself whether he sees us or not." He explained. "I'm of the opinion it's just a quirk of Thomas as nobody else seems to have sides in a similar way."

Edwin seemed about to say something before Charles held a hand up. "We aren't here to psychoanalyse him, Edwin. Thomas seems fine to me."

Thomas and Virgil both snorted, eyes on Crystal. "You don't like the sound of an afternoon being the only person to hear everyone, do you?" Thomas asked.

"Not one bit. I'm basically going to assume Edwin's taking notes and just chat with you unless one of them says something that seems important to know." she decided. "Besides, Charles and Edwin can hear everything. It's you who can't see them at all, and your sides apparently can't hear them, but I'm pretty used to ghosts so should be able to tell you enough about them without additional input."

"Sounds like a good plan." Thomas agreed.

The letter from Liam was right that this was an unusual situation, but just as Charles had thought, even with Remus and Roman popping up armed, it wasn't something anyone had to worry about, not even Virgil.

[thebestworstidea]

"Hey Virge."

Virgil looked up from what he was doing. Normally, he wouldn't stop working to talk to anyone when he was on the clock- he took his work seriously.

But he was writing a pop-song, and it was driving him nuts.

He'd been given a phrase and a feeling and was trying to turn it into something worth hearing, while adhering to the bubbly pop psudo punk the client was going for.

Also it was Thomas, and the ghost had been a bit drifty lately, making conversation less frequent.

"Sup." He answered.

"I was wondering." Thomas did that thing he did where he wans't fully visible, but gave the impression he was perching on something- in this case, the edge of Virgil's dresser. "You're an excellent musician, and I've seen you writing all sorts of songs, and mixing music and everything."

"Thanks." Virgil said a little awkwardly. He knew he was pretty good, but it was still weird to hear it, even though that's mostly where he made his money.

"And you said you played in bands back when you lived in the city when someone bugged out."

"Played with this one band almost a year before they found a bassist that didn't suck. I was on their debut album." he agreed.

"How come you never had a band of your own?"

Virgil snorted, but suppressed actual laughter.

"Well first off- I am not front-man material. In the least."

"I suppose that you don't really like being stared at."

"Yes, that too. But that's not why."

Thomas tipped his head (just a bit too far making him look more like a cartoon of a person than a person) and raised his eyebrows. Virgil smiled without thinking, even if it was a little weird. Thomas had started doing things like that shortly after he started manifesting visually. Logan thought it had something to do with how he thought of himself, and one of the first things they'd learned about Thomas was that he really loved cartoons. So if he pictured himself as a cartoon version of himself, his visible form would reflect that.

Virgil wondered if, given time, Thomas might start looking entirely like a cartoon, as he forgot more about himself as a living person.

"One second." He sent a text out. He was pretty sure that Logan and Roman had gone to a museum to be snarky about an exhibit, but Patton was probably in the house. "Alright, if you really want to know, I can show you."

"Please, you have more musical talent in one tooth than I had in my whole body, and I did a lot of singing."

"Uh-huh." Virgil looked at the ghost skeptically. He went over to the door, opened it and called down stairs. "Hey Patton, I'm going to sing."

There was a faint strained whine and then a faint

"Have fun!" followed by a door closing.

"You can do it!" Roman called, a little closer. "I believe in you."

"Oh fuck off." Virgil retorted, and Roman laughed.

Thomas snorted, shifting in place and folding his arms.

"Now you're just being theatrical."

Virgil smiled sarcastically and hummed under his breath. Then he started singing

For a few moments Thomas felt justified. But then- it was wrong. He couldn't put his finger on why but it was wrong. Technically the melody and the tune were there, and he was hitting the notes. But it echoed and it warped and it just sounded wrong, like someone was purposefully playing with sliders on a mixing board.

Outside, Patton started howling, sounding a little hurt himself. Virgil stopped, coughed, and put his hand over his mouth looking a bit embarrassed. There were a few more baying howls, and then an apologetic sounding bark.

"It used to be I just was a little flat, you know? I know how music works." His voice sounded rough. "but not really vocalist quality. But then uh." He looked even more embarrassed. "Something happened, and now my voice does that when I sing. I don't mind that-" Virgil hastened to add. "Since I don't have to sing to play instruments or even write or mix music. But it sounds worse recorded, believe it or not."

"Well." Thomas flickered a bit, and gave a lop sided smile. "There's always death metal."

"A favorite of ghosts everywhere." Virgil agreed, and Thomas laughed himself invisible.

[asksuccubussides]

What if you were an asexual succubus, wouldn't that be fucked up or what Chapter 5

Masterpost of the chapters

"Ho-Ho-Holy shit Jannie, Look at this! Some cannibal shit" Virgil turned to show Janus his phone before hesitating "Shit, I didn't interrupt your studious study time right?"

Janus looked up from his computer and glanced at the clock before shrugging "Eh. You only interrupted me from disabling this bomb that's going to kill us both now but it was about time for a floor break anyway"

It was about 4 am in the middle of the night and the only light in the college library was the lamp on the table the two men were sitting by. After not being able to get a single word written down for weeks Janus had suddenly and inexplicable been hit with a ray of productivity and he'd been hyperfocused on writing for nearly 5 hours now. Virgil was laying stretched out across the table like a bored cat and was mindleesly scrolling on his phone because he probably wouldn't have slept either way.

What Janus considered a 'floor break' was him taking off his scoliosis brace and lying on his back on the floor for a while so his spine could rest. His friend rolled down from the table and laid down beside him.

"So Florida mans been at it again" Virgil started.

"Ah yes, my favorite mythical creature"

"Right so this just got in. Brand new news dude-"

"Is it from an actual source or just cryptid social media accounts?"

"An actual newspaper. Your coinfidence in my reading ability is so bloody low it's insulting"

All Janus did was nod in agreement.

"So...Dramatic pause.....This bloke got his entire arm eaten dude!"

Janus tilted his head while squinting "....Really"

"Well more like lower arm but yeah. By another human. In florida. A few hours ago. Look there's pictures"

"Dear I could go on a whole tirade about the ethics of looking at those photos but...." Virgil sent him a smirk "Alright hand it over"

The photo was of a lower arm where several chunks of skin and meat were completely missing to the point that the bone could seen at a spot. Deep bite marks had been left behind, they were so deep it hardly looked like it had been done by a human. Blood had dried all over the arm making the skin look almost rusty.

"Are you sure this was a human? Not some feral dog? They have bears in America-"

"In florida?" Virgil tapped his fingers against Janus' shoulder like creepy crawlie "What if it was a werewolf. Or a new serial killer. They do say trends come back after around 50 years and it's like 50 years since the 70's" His expression suddenly dropped and he got the anxiety eyes of doom "Oh god the cannibal guy is still out there. What if they get us?"

"We're in England Virge. The first place the mythical cannibal florida man decides to come is definitely over here" he let up into a slight smile "But it would certaintly be fun if it was a werewolf"

Virgil laughed in the quiet almost inaudible way he always did "I know right!"

--

The night air was cold enough that Remus' breathe was visible as he panted. There was still blood on his lips, on his teeth, his hands. Everywhere. There was still blood all over him from the human.

Remus had ripped and feasted on the human's arm until he'd heard people come running and even someone dialing the police. He'd been running away from there before he had even fully realized it. Sirens had blared and the blue lights of the ambulance had passed him by as he'd ran. Until he'd gotten so far away he couldn't hear any of it anymore.

He'd gotten to the train central and immediately locked himself into a bathroom and hidden there sense. The hours had wasted away under the harsh fluorescent lighting. Cleaning off the blood would probably have been the smartest thing to do but Remus had been frozen to the spot on the grimey floor. His legs had numbed from not moving for so long.

His last hope had been that eating the flesh of a human would feed him in the same way that lust did....But it had only made him heavy.

It gave the exact same effect as him eating any other food in that it only filled his stomach making him feel full for a while without giving him any energy. There weren't any tears in his eyes or anger bursting inside of him. All he felt was the loss of hope and that wasn't an emotion he could convey physically. It was like a grief he'd been holding off on for all of his life.

And if the manager found out he would be sent to heaven.

"...How much time....do I have left" He whispered out to no one but himself.

Finally he got up on his feet and almost immediately fell over because his left foot had completely fallen asleep. The sink was one of those stupid ones where the water only got turned on for about 30 seconds so he had to wave his hand around under the motion sensor over and over as he began to clean the blood off. Flesh was still stuck between his teeth, in response he dug his nails between his teeth until his gums were red and ached.

Out of paranoia he cut off parts of his hair at random without any true reason his mind could come up with aside from panicked shouts. He looked himself in the mirror before deciding to leave his bloodstained shirt behind on the toilet seat. He clutched his stomach as he looked once more. The human flesh was still inside of him. Maybe if eating the flesh hadn't come about in....in the circumstances it did he might have thought it was fun.

"They can't send Roman to heaven as well" The words slipped out of him "He hasn't broken any rules. They can't.....Well I won't fucking let them!"

Remus put his hand against the doorknob and spoke the phrase needed. It swung open and the light from the bright white hallways of the succubi quarters nearly blinded him.

He kept his head down and his walk fast as he hurried to his sleeping quarters. Somewhere at the back of his mind he tried to feel if Roman was near but all he felt was the absence of him.

The sleeping barack was nearly empty when he got there. It made sense, it was the early morning on a saturday. most succubi were probably feeding or doing the walk of shame home right now. The only two he could see were Emile and Remy laying close together in Remy's bed.

Emile was reading a book while his hand playfully stroked his lover's hair. Remy's eyelids were drooping, close to shutting, as they laid with their head against his chest. Their peace and quiet was unraveled in an instant as Emile abruptly sat up as soon as he saw Remus.

"Rem-bem! You're back! Are you alright? Your sight hasn't gone bad again has it?"

"My eyes are fine. Has Oran- The manager been here?"

'Girl why the hell would he have been here?' Remy asked while Emile pulled Remus into a tight hug.

"I don't fucking know! To take away more of my sense!? I bet he's having a spa day down where wherever the Dominion demons live!"

"They like totally have a lava pool" Remy said with hatred in their voice.

"And a fancy library aww" Emile stared out dreamily for a moment before shaking his head and continuing "Don't worry about the manager Rembem! We'll protect you no matter what!"

'Yeah. Like that kid with the blue forehead tattoo'

"Indeed!" Emile took Remy's hand in his and smiled "We'll protect you like Aang!"

Remus could feel something sour building up at the back of his throat "....Sure. I'll-"

"Roman regretted what she said as soon as she left!" Emile interrupted "Just so you know! She seemed really apologetic. I'm not implying you don't get to be mad, I simply wanted to give you all the information available. Anger is a very valid emotion to feel so don't f-"

"I already got all the mad out by...tearing into a....tree...Many trees...Like I fucked up an entire forest.........So. I'mma just go sleep now"

He could feel Remy's gaze staring holes into his back as he went to his bed. He rolled his eyes before turning around to see them signing to him.

'Did something happen?'

'Yeah. My brother said I was a parasite made for incest and nothing else' Remus snarked back.

'Girl you know I mean on earth. You're all-'

'I fed. I always get grumpy after I feed'

'Not like this' Remy got close to him so Remus took a step back 'What happened?'

Remus let up into a snarl "I don't know. Do you want to tell me why your boytoy don't have a tail or wings like the rests of us! Wanna say what kind of demon he is!?"

Emile tried to step in between them "Maybe we should all just calm down and respect each other's bounda-"

"What happened?" Remy asked once more without letting go off Remus' gaze.

"Why's your hair white? What did you get Punished for?!"

"I never got Punished"

Remus laughed "WE ALL KNOW YOU WERE PUNISHED FOR SOMETHING REMY! We all just pretend we don't to be fucking nice!" Remy averted their eyes "Not to nice to be asked that shit huh. Fuck off and go choke on your own sunglasses!"

With that Remus turned around and hid himself away under the blanket of his bed. He could hear the faint sounds of the lovers stirring somewhere close by before leaving eventually. He fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

---

There was a dead bird in Janus' dorm. He wasn't sure when or how it had gotten there but when he'd woken up it had been laying there on the floor. His whole body felt weighed down into the sheets as if it had been filled with lead but he knew he had to move the carcass or else it would start smelling.

Brainfog was making all his thoughts move slowly and out of order to the point that he nearly forgot to put on gloves before carefully picking up the bird and holding it close to his chest. He didn't even remember to put on shoes or his back brace before dragging himself out of the dorm. The only thing he grabbed was a small shovel while hoping not to many people were in the hallways.

Luckily enough his dorm laid close to an exit that lead out into the space beyond the college's borders. The finely machine cut grass changed into unkept weedlings and moss with tree roots sticking out. Eventually he found a spot shaded by a large tree and sat down under it.

"I'm sorry dear little bird. I wish I could tell your kind to keep away from me" Janus said as he dug a small hole in the ground "Death can't seem to get enough of me"

He simply sat by the grave for a few minutes after filling it up with dirt. Once he moved to stand he could swear he saw a nearly identical bird sitting in the tree above him but every bird looked sort of the same to him. The only animals he had any sort of knowledge on were snakes and humans.

It was only on the short walk back to the dorm that he realized he was missing his shoes, brace and he hadn't even taken off his night bonnet before leaving the dorm. He closed the blinds to shut the midday light out before taking off the bonnet and braiding his dreadlocks into a thick braid so none of it got in the way for his skin routine. He and Virgil had bought a mirror just so Janus could do his routine without having to stand in the grubby shared bathrooms honestly. That and Virgil's eyeliner.

He put on some jazz, pulled out all his different creams, set up the mirror and made himself comfortable by the desk. The scar taking up most of the space on the right side of his face went between hues of red and purple. Even after all these years it still stuck out jagged and uneven from the rest of his face.

Something wet dropped down onto his finger as he put a cream on his cheek. Even though he was staring at himself in the mirror it still took him a few dumbfounded seconds until he was able to process what it was.

There was blood dripping down like tears from his right eye. It was coming out the tear duct even.

Janus wiped it away but the blood just kept coming. He tried to stay calm as he grabbed his phone and called bascially the only number he ever called.

"Virge?"

"Jannie I was about to call you anyway. Are we still buying oat milk or did we agree to go back to whole milk?" Virgil replied.

"There is blood coming out of my eye"

"Dude I can't decipher what level of sarcasm that is nor how that is supposed to tell me which milk to buy"

"There is literally blood coming out of my eye"

"For real??" He could hear Virgil's breathing immediately getting faster.

"It's coming from my tear duct. I haven't cut it open by accident, don't worry"

"Don't worry?! What if you have a brain tumor!? Or what if it's a sign of sudden extreme stroke! Or locked in disease! Don't fall asleep! Wait I'm looking it up on google-"

"Virge-"

"Google says it's a symptom of like So many diseases. Jannie you can't die on me here!"

"Virge-"

"Did you take your meds??"

"They're antidepressants! Oh! Of course! the very famous side effect of forgetting anti depressants for a day is eye bleeding! Can you just come over here before I have to be the one to calm you down?"

"Oh. Oh right. Yeah. Yeah I'm on my way. I'm just gonna- Yeah. Yeah I'm coming. Uhhh don't die please"

"I'll try my best" Janus snarked.

Five minutes later Virgil came running into their dorm with his breathe caught in his throat. Janus had been holding a cotton ball against his eye to try and stop the bloodflow but he stood up when he saw his friend come in.

"Are you okay? Anything changed?" Virgil spat out between heavy breathes.

"Still the same"

Virgil cupped Janus' cheeks and tilted his head back. Jan moved his hands onto his friend's waist.

"And your eyesights alright?"

"Mostly. A bit pinker than usual"

"Close your eyes" Virgil carefully trailed his hand up along Janus' face and wiped his finger across his closed eyelid "Feeling any better now?"

Janus blinked a few times before looking in the mirror and wiping away the remaining blood. None more came to which he sighed a breathe of relief.

"Of course! I had to lean my head back" Janus exclaimed "Makes sense. My veins must have been mixed up somehow, like when you swallow water into the wrong part of your throat"

Virgil's hands had stayed mid air where Janus' face just had been. His fingers began to fiddle with the end of one his friend's dreadlocks "Did you braid it yourself?"

"What?" Janus was still focused on the whole eye thing "Oh. My hair? No a hairdresser broke into our dorm and did it while I slept. Of course it was me. You've seen me like this before"

"It looks good"

"I'm aware. There was another dead bird here when I woke up. I buried it"

"It must be some fucker throwing it in through the window" Virgil said while going to fill up a glass of water "Don't forget the meds by the way"

He did a little nod while taking the glass before shuffling around in the drawer for his antidepressants "The window has a lock though"

"Everyones got that one friend who's really good at picking locks nowadays" Virgil sat down crosslegged on top of the desk and continued to fiddle with one of Jan's dreadlocks.

"Maybe there's some smell in our room that makes the animals want to come here. You don't happen to have any horrible stenches lying around?"

"Or we're haunted!"

"You shouldn't say that so happily"

---

Remus' bed was weightened down as someone sat down beside him. He ignored it to keep feeling sorry for himself in the little blanket cocoon he'd rolled himself into.

"Dukey?" It was Roman's voice.

It made Remus at least peep his head up from the blanket. His brother held out a deck of cards to him while trying to muster an apologetic smile. Her nose was still bruised and slightly crooked from their fight.

"Want to play uno?" An attempt at forgiveness in the most sibling way possible "If you win I'll let you eat the cards and everything"

Remus took the deck of cards in his hands and looked at it in silence. The taste of human flesh filled his mouth as he gulped "You didn't show up"

"I was upset...I was tired of having to take care of you after every time you fed...I wanted to make a point I guess.."

"Yeah well you didn't fucking show up!" Remus threw the cards at him before yelling "You can go shove those cards up your ass!!"

Roman didn't even try to argue back. He picked up the cards in silence before leaving. Remus could feel something disappearing in his chest as his brother went back to earth.

The taste of flesh filled his entire throat as he hid under the blankets once more. There was no way for him to survive without seducing humans. It kept repeating in his mind along with the threat of heaven fast approching. Every time someone walked by he jumped at the chance of it being the manager.

He was so sure that if the manager saw Roman close to him she would get Punished as well.

---

The same day Remy climbed into Remus' bed and laid down next to the blanket cocoon that was him. They didn't say anything, not even for hours, they just laid there next to him.

Some of the other succubi returned home for the day and the room became filled with chatter. Groups of gossip, music playing from speakers and dialogue from tv shows. A new hit show had apparently come from the greed circle. An argument broke out between those who prefered shows made by pride demons against greed demon fans.

The night continued and the slight warmth of Remy's body still didn't move away. The room turned a bit quieter for the sake of the succubi who liked sleeping. A few of the succubi let up into whistles and teasing as a succubi couple sneaked away to the corner where they'd hung up a curtain for private time.

It nearly took until morning until Remus let his hand wander outside the blanket and moved to press his pinkie against Remy's. They gently took his hand in theirs and squeezed tight.

He held up the blanket to let Remy inside while holding his finger over his mouth 'I gotta tell you something' He signed 'No one can see us right?'

'Girl we're literally under a blanket. Demons don't have see through vision stupid' They replied.

Remus held up his hands, ready to sign, but hesitated on what to say. Or how to start rather.

'I attacked a human'

Remy took a deep breathe and he could practically see as they thought through the implications 'How bad?'

'I ripped into their arm dude. An ambulance came'

They parsed their lips as if to speak before closing their mouth again 'Why is like a totally dumb question aint it'

But Remus still responded since he hadn't been able to talk to anyone about it 'I fed on like 6 people I think. I wanted to- I was mad- I wanted to punch Romans mind out- the manager- I- I dunno'

'6? Girl no. Thats a lot even like for normal succubi'

'I dunno. And- And Roman didnt come get me. He always does! And and then this human came and I wanted to go home. I just wanted to go home Remy. Yknow? I didnt- I thought maybe I could sustain myself on humans and the human was- I tried to get away at first I did but then- I thought I could feed in my own way- But it didnt work. I didnt fed I just ripped and-'

Remy grabbed ahold of his shoulders "Hey" They whispered "Me and Emile said we were gonna protect you. We weren't lying" They switched back to signing 'No one will know. If you say so not even Emile will know'

Remus leant his forehead against the nape of their neck and took a few long shaking breathes before looking into their eyes 'Do you think I could survive heaven?'

'Dont- Girl dont even-'

'I mean I could slaughter my way out right? I know all about violence! I could get out right? If Patton could-'

'We dont even know if Patton is real!'

'Of course he is! If he survived heaven- If he made it back so can I! Youre older than me! You should know if Patton is real or not! Youve never not said hes real!'

'How am I supposed to fucking know! Everyones been telling us bout him since before I was even fucking made!'

'I could survive it!'

'What would you get back to?! The manager would just send you to heaven again!'

'I run away! I- I find a place on earth!'

'You hate earth'

'Yeah well I would hate being dead more!'

Remy abruptly stopped the conversation by hugging him tightly. So tight their fingers dug into his skin. Remus held them just as tight.

'Roman wont get Punished as well? Right?.....Right?'

'...Of course...Of course not...'

Remus' hands shook ever so slightly as he signed 'Roman would miss me...right?'

Remy grabbed his hands and whispered "Don't talk like that. We won't let it happen! You're not going to heaven! You're staying right fucking here! You hear me!?"

"You didn't answer the question"

"Of fucking course Roman's gonna miss you! We're all gonna miss you!"

"I'm the reason our squadron's in the shit"

"And!? That don't matter! You're not leaving us!"

They hugged him again and buried their face against his shoulder so he wouldn't see the tears in their eyes.

"You're not leaving us"

[pattxnsanders]

@on-the-virge-of-breaking

Not far from where Patton lived was a thrift store, they got donations from random people and auctions so they had a large variety of things. One that they got recently was this large ornate fairytale looking book that had gold trim on it. The store wasn’t selling it for much though, all the pages seemed to have faded text, and the pages could barely be read, only the first page had actual writing. So it wasn’t seen as worth much.

(@on-the-virge-of-breaking)

Patton was a sucker for fairytales. Even his best friends would tease him about his love of them. So when he found the book in the thrift store, he couldn't care less it was basically unreadable. He bought it instantly, and rushed home as fast as possible with the book tucked in his arms.

He sighs, locking his door behind him. He messages Thomas, his older brother, a picture of the book with the caption [look what i found], before going to settle down on his couch with the book in hand. "Why they would throw you out, I have no idea..." He mutters, softly drawing his finger over the engravings on the cover.

[justanotherpurplebutterfly]

Patton: Happy one year anniversary, Virgil!

Virgil: I'm twenty-eight...

Patton: ...

Virgil: ...

[hajimeiwaswife]

WAS: HEADCANONS

[MASTERLIST]

A/N: Sorry for being inactive, I'm currently writing chapter 22. It won for it to be a smut chapter so I want to make it perfect. And thank you so much for your kind messages! It means a lot, thank you. So, here you have some headcanons while you wait for chapter 22.

IMPORTANT: I will write some headcanons for WAS. It's true that it's my AU, but I like to leave enough space for you guys to have headcanons, that's why I won't name any of these canon in my AU. I'll also would love to hear yours, so if you want, you can leave a comment or something and I will add it with credits.

Mikey watches anime during his free time. It's canon that he studies Politics in the AU, so he probably bases his political opinions on some anime characters like Eren Jaeger.

Draken has probably told Mikey to please not mention Eren Jaeger in any of his university presentations.

Chifuyu has a secret crush on Baji. And on Kazutora. But he confuses it with admiration.

Mikey keeps a little box under his bed with pictures you both had taken together, some of you alone and a little golden teddy bear keychain that you gave him on your fourth date.

When he is feeling under the weather, he takes the box and watches everything to feel better.

Mitsuya doesn't feel love for you anymore, but he does feel affection and regret.

All Toman Gang guys have at least a piece of clothing designed and sewn by Mitsuya.

Emma has begged Draken to shut her brother up while he was still trying to get your attention because he would be singing Taylor Swift songs at the top of his lungs. Heartbreak songs. And you guys hadn't even dated yet.

Hina and Takemichi try to stay out of the drama. That's what Hina tells Takemichi, because she's actually taking notes on everything that happens with Mikey and you, Mitsuya and you, Kazutora and you, Mikey and Kazutora, Mikey and Mitsuya (SOMEHOW) and Emma and Draken.

Hakkai had a crush on Mitsuya ever since he modeled for him.

Yuzuha is done with everything, but she tries to keep her shit together for her own sake.

Baji is a virging. Sorry but he is. He keeps this facade of fuck boy, but he has never felt the touch of a human being in his life. Especially the touch of a woman.

Mikey does have a big cock, but magnum condoms are not it. Actually, I'm pretty sure magnum condoms were invented for the sake of toxic masculinity.

Some of them don't go to class at all. (Ehem Mikey, Kazutora, I'm looking at you).

Ever since you started dating, Mikey started watching videos on youtube of how to do your hair, what feels better for your period (he discovered warmth was really helpful and he usually acts like a human heater) and ideas for meaningful homemade gifts.

Mikey's love language is probably physical touch and giving gifts/acts of service.

TAG LIST: @mizumellon @wakasagurl @sseorin @konigasaki @chaoticyuna @akqshie @sunahyejin @rinsie @q-the-rockaholic @akisrandom @rorobaijifuyu @invaderzia1 @massivebde @yukihime-mikeys-girl @rietvellld @kawasbaby @psmslove @manjirosdoll @netzukochannn @ohmaigwad @bubs-world

Those in bold couldn't be tagged.

[anxiouslyfred]

Need to Befriend Them? Sounds Fake

I'm stating now, I'm not aplatonic and while I have tried looking it up, I'm not certain I know how best to represent the experience.

Regardless, here's my attempt at writing for @aro-sides-week day 3 prompt aplatonic

Virgil accidentallied into his friendship group. A neighbour mentioned auditions for a performance that half interested him, and somehow that ended up with someone much louder adopting him. He couldn't describe it any other way, Roman was forever trying to help after the first time Virgil thanked him.

Roman somehow gained friends because he liked attention, especially when it was positive for something he'd done, be it a performance or helping someone else. It was validation he sought out, and friends essentially turned up in his life

They both fit together, even more so after they accidentally shared a confused glance when Patton ran off to a stranger with a call about needing to befriend them. The conversation after that was enough for both to understand that they didn't understand this desire to befriend people their friend apparently had.

"So people actually do just decide they want to be around people? Like I still think romance is just a case of performing the scenes from the stage minus the attention of hundreds, which why, do people do that, but now I'm meant to believe the stories are true about wanting to be friends with others? the hell type of attraction would that be?" Roman half rants, half mutters under his breath after how similar rants before understanding he was aromantic had been received.

Virgil huffed, smirking a little. "Guess so, and maybe like platonic, but then calling that attraction seems to be screaming for some mother bible clutcher to get all offended if you say all disney princesses have platonic attraction for animals."

"Do not besmirch Disney with - actually, no, good question, aside from like Ariel, and Jasmine because Rajah was a gift, what makes all the princesses befriend animals constantly? I don't think that's any set desire to befriend the specific animals they befriend but like desperate loneliness from isolation, or weird lucky charms."

"I am regretting mentioning Disney already. And yeah probably loneliness. So do you think platonic attraction is a thing? I mean I get Patton's kind obsessed with declaring he loves his friends and when I got uncomfortable declared it was platonic love."

"Not a clue, Virge. Guess we can be clueless together and see how many friends we make because Patton's decided to befriend them? Or maybe Logan or Janus might know, I guess?" Roman agreed, before pausing. "So were the reactions of the dwarves over finding Snow White sleeping in their home romantic or platonic attraction? Cause Dopey was weirdly obsessed with getting her forehead kisses."

[angelwiththeblue-box]

i tried out for the play and couldn't even stay the whole way through because of my anxiety 😅

haha anyways

Set in senior year of high-school, a bright and well-meaning student has earned the reputation of being the school's "perfect matchmaker." The only trouble is, everyone they seem to fall for doesn't reciprocate their feelings. Little do they know, they have a few secret admirers who see them in the light they've always wanted to be seen in.

do you think you can write that w either Patton or Roman as the "perfect matchmaker?" doesn't have to be poly either, just whatever ship you like atm :]

Rosie

im sending you all my love and hugs rn babe

..

Four years going to the same small high school, you tend to garner a reputation. Sometimes it was good, sometimes it was not so good, but for the most part, everyone had something.

Including Roman.

Freshman year, he accidentally set up two juniors on a date, and from there it spiraled. People would come to Roman, asking if he could help them find someone, and he would help, and there was never a negative review.

Roman loved his role in the school. It made him so happy to see other people finding the people they loved.

He'd even matched everyone in his friend group. Logan with Roman's childhood best friend Patton, Remus with Janus. (Roman was a little unsure about that last match, Janus was a quiet outcasted, with scars covering half his face, but opposites attract.)

The only person that flat out refused to have Roman match him was Virgil. The moody emo joined their group in sophomore year after him and Patton had a group project to work on and he never left.

Virgil always said that he was waiting for the right person. Roman claimed he could find the right person. Virgil just shook his head and the conversation ended.

Now it's senior year. Virgil hasn't found the right person. Neither has Roman. Not that it bothered him. It didn't bother him at all. And he definetly wasn't pining over Virgil. Nope. That wasn't what was happening.

"Hey, Ro, we're going out to lunch? Wanna come?" Virgil walks up to Roman and nudges his shoulder.

"Huh? Oh, where?"

"The Ritz." Roman arches an eyebrow at Virgil, who laughs. "No, we're going to McDonalds. Grab your stuff, Janus is paying." Virgil walks towards the stairs.

"Hey, Virge, can I talk to you about something?" Roman asks. Virgil turns back around and walks back to Roman.

"What's up?"

"You remember in sophomore year, when you said you didn't want a match?"

"Yeah, cus we were fifteen. What's this about?"

"I... I kinda wish that I could be your match." Roman admits. "But I know you're waiting and if I'm sorry if I just ruined everything-"

Virgil reaches out his hand to grab Roman's hand. Roman closes his mouth with a click.

"You haven't ruined anything." Virgil reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a letter, letting go of Roman's hand to open it.

"'I've been meaning to tell you for a while,'" Virgil reads aloud. "'I always wanted it to be you. You were who I was talking about when I said I was waiting for the right person. I don't know if anything can happen, but I wanted you to know that it's you.'" Virgil hands Roman the letter.

"If you thought you would ruin everything, I wrote you a love letter. If anyone would ruin this friendship, it would be me." Virgil grins.

"Do you think we could skip McDonald's with the gang?" Roman asks. Virgil's smile falters.

"What do you mean? It's Wednesday, we always go out for lunch on Wednesday." Virgil asks.

"I think we should still go out to lunch, but just the two of us. Maybe somewhere a little nicer than McDonalds."

"Roman." Virgil mock-gasps. "Are you asking me on a date?" Roman laughs.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"What about Chipotle?" Virgil asks, linking his arm with Roman and tugging him down the hall.

"Can you think of any place nicer than fast food chains?"

"Nope. It's my sole duty as your boyfriend to be a menace."

"Boyfriend. I like that." Virgil blushes and presses a quick kiss to Roman's cheek.

"I'm glad."

*

i think if i didnt stop it there, this oneshot would be like eighteenhundred pages.

ROSIE THIS PROMPT WAS SO CUTE I HOPE THIS HELPS CHEER YOU UP!!!! <33333

[nsfsprince]

Let Me Escape In Your Arms

-title from 'Be Together' by Major Lazer

-NSFS Fic! Minors DNI!-

Pairing: Anxceit (soft dom!Virgil, sub!Janus)

Word count: 2653

Fic warnings(Let me know if I missed anything!): Fae!Virgil, Human!Janus, Trans!Janus. Mixed terms used to describe Janus's genetalia(I.e. cunt and little cock, primarily), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, fingering, oral sex, p in v penetrative sex, orgasm denial, and uhh... Marathon sex?(sorta kinda? More like Virgil fucks Janus in a fairy circle for hours and Janus is completely on board w/ it)

Extra lore notes: This fic is actually using the concept from (This Fic Idea) I had a while ago, and while i have yet to write a full story fic for it, i ended up writing this smut fic first. Theres more info about them on that short idea blurb that i recommend you read first just so things make a little more sense? Both to understand their backstory and to understand why Janus is human but is described as having scales.

Niether are elaborated on as this is mostly just a p*rn no plot fic. like they get right into it from the first sentence, you've been warned. xD

~~~~~~~~~~

One of the first times they had ever gotten intimate before, Virgil had sat his perfect little human in his lap, back to his chest, and fingered Jan's cunt slowly till he came apart. He worked his fingers skillfully till Janus was coming over and over again, squirming and keening in overstimulation but never tapping out.

 Janus had immediately become sort of addicted to the feeling, being practically pulled apart at the seams with all the pleasure he could possibly take and more. Virgil seemed to adore taking his time in gently pulling Janus's mind apart with pleasure, piece by loving piece.

His deep raspy voice had cooed over how wet Janus was, how cute it was that his slick had soaked their laps and coated Virgil's fingers, how good Janus was doing by taking his fingers so well.

Janus had remained squirmy for days afterward, as even the memory of Virgil's fingers pressing deep into his cunt while keeping his legs spread wide got him hot and bothered.

Virgil was content to let him squirm; Eager, even, to whisper naughty things in Janus's ears to make him even more hot and bothered. Just to see how long it would take for Janus to break and finally ask for another night of pleasure.

Janus lasted a whole week before Virgil caught him trying to finger himself, wet and frustrated beyond belief that he couldn't quite reach the same spots Virgil had to drive himself wild. Feeling generous at seeing his love frustrated to tears, he ends up dragging Janus back into his lap and beginning the slow process of pulling Janus apart once more.

The tears of relief after Jan's first orgasm are utterly worth skipping over any real punishment for having been caught trying to orgasm without permission. Virgil figures instead that the next few slow-building and torturously drawn out orgasms that leave overstimulated tears in Janus's eyes is punishment enough.

~~~~~~~~~~

Not long after, they grew curious enough to explore penetrative sex.

It starts out as a makeout session that progressively gets hotter and hansier than normal, Virgil unable to help his subconscious need to hold and caress his scaled love. He has one hand gently pinning Jan's hips as he slots himself between Janus' legs, his other hand gently cradling his loves head as they trade heated kisses.

Janus's soft gasps turn into sharp whines and tiny moans as Virgil bears his weight down on the other, his shorter legs locking around the fae's hips instinctually as they slowly grind against one another. 

Virgil groans at the feeling, his pitch dropping so unnaturally deep that Janus feels it in his own chest. The kiss breaks only for Virgil to lick his way back into Janus's mouth, purring lowly with the way that Janus moans into the kiss.

He finally breaks the kiss to trail sharp kisses downward to cover his love's neck and shoulders with hickeys and bite marks, and his eyes go dark at the way Janus outright squirms and moans.

"Please, oh fuck, Virge, Vee, please? Need you, ah!-" with their mental link from Virgil's claim on Janus, Virgil understands roughly what Janus actually wants and is more than happy to give it to him. He's quick to lay the other back onto his cloak, tugging at his loves clothes with care as not to rip the fabric in his eagerness.

Once Janus is stripped bare from the chest down, Virgil doesn't hesitate to press his head between Janus's thighs to suck on Janus's clit. Immediately, Janus's eyes roll a bit at the feeling, moaning and squirming uselessly against the hands gripping his thighs to keep them open.

Virgil's eyes remain open yet lidded as he watches Janus's reactions, his wide pupils darkening his eyes even further at Janus's rambling pleas of "please," and "more!"

One hand's long lithe fingers reach down to stoke between Jan's folds, slicking them up before slowly pressing the first into the other's slick twitching cunt.

Janus moans at the feeling, his eyes skittering downward before whimpering loudly when he locks his gaze with the dark heated one of his supernatural lover staring right back at him as the fae continues to lap and suck at his little cock. 

It takes a few moments before Virgil starts pumping his finger in time with his mouth, leisurely stoking the others walls in an effort to make Janus slowly lose his mind to pleasure.

The second finger is more noticeable than the first, but Virgil is quick to distract with the hard relentless way that he sucks at Jan's cock. Jan's hips quiver and buck against Virgil's ceaseless onslaught, gasping and moaning as two fingers turn to three.

"Please, Virge, ah! Need you! Want you inside of me, please?" Janus begs, his legs falling open as his eyes roll at a particularly deep press from the three long fingers stretching open his cunt.

Virgil's eyes get impossibly darker with arousal, using his free hand to easily hold up Janus's hips as he changes angles a bit. Janus barely has time to be confused before Virgil's tongue starts prodding at his cunt where his fingers disappear into, hooking past the rim and tonguing his way inside, much to Jan's surprise. This wasn't exactly what he'd meant, but it feels heavenly all the same, especially with the immediate way that Virgil seems to enjoy it.

Virgil is practically darkeyed with bliss, getting direct feedback from how good he's making Janus feel and absolutely adoring using his mouth to please his lover. He can't even seem to help the way his eyes flutter closed, continuing to stretch and fuck open his love with his fingers so his tongue can fuck itself deeper at every pass and taste his love intimately. 

Janus is losing his mind, rapidly approaching his orgasm with the way that Virgil is touching him, gasping and moaning a warning. All Virgil does is remove his fingers, pressing his tongue deep to fill the space and using his slick fingers to stroke Janus's cock.

It doesn't take more than a few seconds more for Janus to come, gasping and whining at the way Virgil groans into his cunt. 

Infact, Virgil doesn't even seem to care to stop, licking and sucking on Janus's slick as he pleasures Janus through his orgasm and right into overstimulation. Janus trembles, eyes shut as he focuses on the hot overstimulated feeling of Virgil's tongue in his twitching cunt, keening at the way Virgil occasionally sucks on the rim of his entrance.

When his shaking hands finally listen to his frazzled mind, Jan manages to gently tug at Virgil's hair, panting at the way Virgil is easily working him up again. Virgil barely breaks away with a slightly petulant hum, making a slick noise as he stops long enough to listen, though he looks utterly blissed out to have Janus' slick dripping down his chin.

"Virge, Please, fuck. Made me feel so good, want you inside, want your cock, want you to fuck me with it, please?" Janus pants, trying to be a little clearer this time but not regretting the first misunderstanding even a little bit, especially since it seemed to be something Virge had been enjoying thoroughly.

Virgil growled lowly and sat up, licking his lips as his eyes flickered headily over the wrecked way his lover looked, absentmindedly pleased to be able to see just how skilled he had been at pleasuring his love.

His dark eyes gazed reverently at his beautiful human, his clean hand reaching up to cradle his love's scaled cheek to check in. Janus just nuzzled against Virgil's hand, a soft muttering of 'Green' further soothing Virgil's anxieties. 

Slowly he reached down to free himself of his pants, stroking his half hard cock to full attention with little trouble as he gazed down at his wrecked love, the blissful taste of slick still fresh on his tongue.

He watched as Janus's attention narrowed down to his large cock, whimpering flusteredly as Virgil reached out and stroked between Jan's folds to gather enough slick to lube up his cock. Once he was assured he was slick enough, he slotted himself back fully between Janus' legs, groaning as his cock prodded at Janus' cunt.

He reached out and pressed his love's knees to their chest, keeping a firm but gentle grip on Jan's thighs as he lined up and slowly pressed inside.

He kept his gaze firmly on Janus's expression, watching and feeling alertly for any discomfort from his love as he slowly and carefully sank to the hilt. Janus's eyes had fluttered shut, his jaw slack and eyebrows furrowed in an overwhelmed but not pained or uncomfortable manner.

Once fully resting inside, Virgil made to pause for Janus, giving the other time to adjust to his size and waiting for the okay to move.

For a long moment Janus stayed still and quiet, his eyes scrunching a bit before fluttering open slightly with a soft whine that fizzled into a moan. Virgil was almost worried until Jan started shifting his hips slightly, only to suddenly be clenching hard around the other's cock, apparently so worked up that he ended up orgasming just from finally having his lover's cock inside him.

"My sweet serpent, Do I really feel that good inside you, hm? I hadn't even started moving yet.~" Virgil teased softly, leaning down to nuzzle his love's cheek, cooing lovingly at the embarrassed expression.

He could feel his love try to clench around him in retaliation, only for Jan to moan when his cunt throbbed in overstimulation. He cooed again, reaching down to stroke his love's sensitive chest scales in a comforting motion, pressing reassuring kisses to the others' flushed face. 

When asking if he should continue, he received a flustered yes, and that was really all he needed to actually start fucking his human lover.

He was slow at first, easing himself in and out of his trembling love to really make sure he wouldn't hurt him. Given that Janus's cunt was already dripping with slick again, his cock had no trouble easing in and out of his love's entrance, every thrust feeling smoother than the last.

He'd been waiting for ages to feel this, the way Janus flutters around his cock, the deep hot and tight heat of someone yet to be claimed before. It made a deep part of Virgil's fae instincts flare happily, getting to claim Janus as his and only his, completely and utterly. No one else could have Janus if Virgil's instincts had any say in the matter. 

(They usually didn't, to be fair. Janus was still his own person and capable of making his own decisions, even if he was Virgil's by the rules of the fairfolk. Virgil would never trap Janus if he didn't want to be confined. So it was perhaps the best case-scenario that Janus was actually intent on being Virgil's and only Virgils.)

At this point Janus was gasping and moaning, hands threaded tightly into Virgil's cloak as the other picked up the pace a little. He couldn't help it, fucking Janus felt good. 

Janus was taking his cock with ease, even as Virgil changed his angle a bit and ended up constantly ramming over Janus' g-spot with every thrust which just made Janus moan even louder. It was heavenly, the way that his lover's tight cunt clenched around Virgil's cock at every pass, the way that he just barely fit all the way inside and the fact that that was driving Janus's mind crazy.

Still, Virgil had to be careful as he was trying not to overdo it, knowing he didn't exactly have a refractory period like Janus did. Through their connection he could feel Janus getting close again, and he had an idea.

"You may not cum yet, Janus." He purred lowly, reaching within his grasp of control over Janus, as Janus was his, and made a command the human's body would be forced to follow.

Janus keened, his mind naturally losing some coherency from his lover's command as it always does when being Told by Virgil, shaking as the pleasure instead just kept building, and building, and building.

He couldn't think about anything except the large cock repeatedly stretching him open and the fact that he wasn't physically capable of falling over the edge until Virgil told him he could. 

Virgil kept him that way for hours, blissed out on pure unparalelled pleasure as Virgil kept relentlessly fucking his cunt, the command keeping his mortal body indefinitely on the cusp of orgasm. 

(Janus had agreed to a session like this long before this scene anyway, knowing his answer to spending countless hours being absolutely railed by Virgil in a fairy circle was always going to be a yes. Virgil had just wanted his spoken affirmation first.)

At some point Janus was flipped onto his hands and knees, not that he stayed in that position for very long. His arms were quick to give out, leaving Virgil to hold up his hips and drape over his back to keep going. Not that Virgil minded, oh no, he was in bliss watching his love press his chest to the ground and hips up into his thrusts, fisting at the now ruined cloak they'd been fucking over in near-mindless pleasure.

Occasionally Virgil would slow into deep heady thrusts, pressing as deeply as he could to practically breed the back of his cunt to make Janus mewl, other times he would speed up his thrusts and thumb roughly at Jan's little cock till the poor thing was screaming with pleasure. 

One minute melded into the next, one hour feeling like three and three hours feeling like one. 

Not that Janus was even currently capable of being aware of time, oh no. Virgil's commanding hold over Janus created a heady mind fog like nothing else Jan's ever experienced, making him utterly pliant to Virgil's wishes and following commands. 

Better yet, Virgil makes one single more command soon after the first to really drive home the 'pleasured to incoherently' goal:

"When I cum inside you, Janus, it will feel like liquid pleasure. As long as my cum is inside of you, you will feel pure pleasure from it."

Combined with the relentless accumulative and constant pleasure of being on orgasms edge for literally hours on end, there's little to no room for any thought that's not centered around the hard cock pounding his cunt, the cum that fills him, and the deep warm voice praising him for taking it all so well. 

When hours have passed, and Virgil has completely sated his need to pleasure his love to incoherency, when he's filled Janus's cunt over and over with so much cum that his love's poor twitching cunt and thighs are dripping with it and pooling onto the floor under him, does Virgil finally, finally give the command to "Cum for me, Janus."

And he gets to watch Janus's eyes roll and his body jolt as his orgasm finally crashes down around him. It lasts at least a few minutes, Janus silently screaming with pleasure as his body rides out the hours long orgasm denial.

 Pulse after dizzying pulse disorients him, as if every orgasm he would have had had lined up to be individually processed(probably Virgil's magical doing, if he's being honest), one after the other with no end in sight for the longest time. 

His cunt milks Virgil's cock for all he's got left, pulling one last peak from Virgil that makes Janus jolt and finally break the silence with a strangled mewl.

More cum leaks from Janus's twitching cunt as Virgil finally pulls out, taking a long moment to gaze at the mess he's made of his thoroughly wrecked lover. 

Yes, they'd absolutely have to do this again sometime, and hopefully soon.

----

Bc u wanted to be tagged: @creative-lampd-liberties

[fakeloveaskblog]

Alright, whatever you want :) *the stuff they need appears next to them* ---- Janus, Remy said yes, and they're 99% sure virgil works 9 pm to 6 pm this week. 🐌🕸

Tw: Talk of skipping meals (not in an ED way tho)

I also didn’t check the word count while writing this so I have no idea how long this actually got, sorry, it should be fine

Janus had been practically sitting on needles all day. They checked the clock as soon as they heard your message. It was a bit past 11 pm.

"I have enough time to go see them right? Right!" They said it more to themself than to you.

They stood up. For a few seconds they stood there aimlessly tapping their feet into the ground out of nervousness before shaking their head around and shooting off to quickly get dressed.

Half an hour or so later, and with their breathe caught in their throat, Janus arrived at Remy's apartment. Their thoughts were a whirlwind of imagined scenarios where everything went wrong. They'd already hurt Remy once because of their mistakes, they couldn't hurt their loved one again.

Their hand was shaking as they picked up the key very obviously laying under the plant in the hallway. The sound of their own knocking startled them. When no reply came they pressed their ear against the door. No sound was heard either.

Janus gulped before letting out a "remy?" It barely came out as a whisper.

He reminded himself that Remy had already said yes to him inviting himself over. If he didn't hear anything then Virgil was probably gone. At worst he would accidentally walk into an empty apartment.

He took a forcibly deep breathe before putting the key into the lock. His hand was so shaky it took a moment before he managed to turn it. The door drew open. An intense smell hit him. A mix of dust, rot and...substances...?

"Virge? Home already? Anything like wrong?" The weak voice came from a half open door to the right of him.

"No...No it's uh. Just J-"

"JANUS!!" Remy sounded so happy when they exclaimed it it almost made him blush.

He had to look at the ground as he walked. There were clothes thrown around haphazardly. A plastic bag had broken and had spilled out trash onto the floor, flies were gathered around it. Why the hell was there a broken plate on the hallway floor???

Janus leaned against the door into what they assumed was the bedroom. It took a moment for their eyes to adjust since all of the blinds were down. They heard a wince come from the bed as Remy tried to at least sit up.

"...hi" Janus wanted to immediately take it back. They hadn't seen each other in weeks, almost a month. What a stupid way to start "I've- I've missed you"

Remy's smile was so bright it seemed to lighten the room "I've missed you too"

It felt like someone had dragged a rope around Janus' heart and was trying to pull it out of his chest when he actually saw how Remy looked.

The bags under their eyes were so deep they almost looked purple. Their cheeks had sunken in making their face look even more like a skull than it already did. The rest of their body looked more skeletal as well. They only had on underwear and a tank top and sure they'd always been skinny but now Janus could barely even think about how pretty they were through the worry. Their breathing was heavy, almost labored. They smelled like they had just dumped an entire bottle of perfume of themself and it still couldn't hide a weird smell of...he was unsure of what. Their hair was framing their face in greasy stripes. He couldn't help but notice how the pillow and sheets had started to yellow from them laying in them constantly.

Janus gulped. His arms nearly moved to pull them into a hug but then he hesitated "...Are you o-"

Remy noticed how his eyes kept examining them, looking them up and down. In an instant their expression changed. Something seemed to break in their eyes. They looked nauseous.

"DON'T LOOK AT ME!" They pulled the pillow over their head and curled in on themself "DON'T LOOK AT ME! I'M DISGUSTING!"

Janus froze midmotion. His thoughts turned into a tumbling panic. He didn't want to make anything worse. He didn't want to hurt them any more. So he quickly turned around so he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"...I..I'm not looking...I promise"

It was quiet for a few seconds before he heard a quiet "sorry"

"It's okay"

"no. i'm sorry. i'm so- i just like over react to literally everything. sorry"

"It really is okay"

Everything turned quiet again. Janus sat with bated breathe. He didn't know what to do. He knew he wanted to hold them. The weight shifted in the bed and he heard a choked back wince.

Remy leant their forehead against his back and lightly moved their arms around his waist. He could feel their shallow breathe warm his skin. He moved his hand on top of theirs.

"sorry i like disappeared on you and Remus" Remy mumbled out "i...i'm having a really bad flare up. really bad. i don't know why"

Janus could sense the last part was a lie but he choose to ignore it "I'm sorry to hear that. I wish I could exchange your bones with new ones- Wait shit that sounded weird. I mean I uh I don't want you to be in any more pain"

"Wow thanks" They let out a chuckle "Didn't know you were a bone stealer"

"Oh I prefer 'bone borrower' actually"

Janus traced their hand down to Remy's wrist. They brought their hand up to their lips and pressed a soft kiss to their palm.

"Is there anything I can do to help with the pain? Anything at all?" He decided to lie "I- I mean aside from the heightened dose of medicine I assume you're on"

Remy tensed up at the mention of meds. "....you can keep holding me...please.."

"That I can do" Janus pressed another kiss to their wrist.

"...i....i just recently...i feel....broken" Remy nearly whispered out "there's a fog over my brain...i can't think....i can't focus.....i can't sleep....even breathing hurts...the dysphoria is....is everywhere...it's suffocating.....it's suffocating...i'm suffocating"

"I didn't know you experienced dysphoria" Janus mumbled more to himself. He sighed "That does indeed sound overwhelming. It's very understandable to not be able to do much or focus much or even think much when in such pain. Excuse me if this is a stupid question but is there any way I can- or you can relieve the dysphoria?"

Remy let out a long groan "I dunno girl. Like normally make up and testing out clothes helps...but like...i haven't showered in like forever! in weeks! my skin is so disgusting! I can't put make up on this shitty skin! or clothes! not fancy clothes!! I really wanna shower but i can't like shower without like help to and from the shower and when Viv comes home he's already so exhausted from work, I  don’t wanna be a burden and force him to take care of me as well. I'm so gross"

"Oh honey, When i was more depressed than the world in the 1920's I wouldn't shower for weeks, and I would go to school like that! You're make up won't mind, even if it's awfully snobby make up. And I won't mind looking at you"

"But i'm so disgusting and i look like a gross man. more than usual. i haven't shaved in like a month"

"Oh. I didn't notice"

"WHat!? the hair is on my FACE Janny!!! it's unseeable!!! it's like a sore dragged all over my face!! it's all I can see in the mirror! All I see is the disgusting hairy man face with hairy man arms and man legs and UGH!"

Janus took their hand "Honey it sounds like shaving would help with your dysphoria"

"....i...the shaver is in the bathroom...i can't....." They felt utterly engulfed by shame as they continued "...Janus i can't walk that far"

Remy waited for some response about how they were pathetic, they were overreacting, they could walk just fine a month ago, their legs clearly worked so they should just stop lazing about and get up.

"It's because of the pain right!?” Janus exclaimed “You haven't gotten into any sort of accident right!? Please tell me you haven't. I'm sorry the pain must be horrible but if your legs are paralyz-"

"No. No. It's fine. It's just the pain" Remy got surprise by the abundance of sincere worry in Janus' voice.

"I wouldn't call that 'just' but sure. I can carry you?- Or I mean- Sorry- You can lean on me- if you want to"

Remy smiled as they could see slight blushing spread over their crush's cheeks. "Sure girl. You can carry me....you can....i'll allow you to look at me as well"

Janus hesitated before turning to look at them. A soft smile lingered on his lips as he met their eyes. He was still holding their hand. He moved his other hand to cup their cheek. When it made them smile as well he leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to their cheek.

"You're beautiful" He said it with all his heart "You have a beautiful brain"

In an instant Remy's cheeks had turned a hot red. They glanced away "I uh thanks gal...nice uh cock- No- fuck oh shit- just joking!!! Not thinking!!"

Janus laughed while letting go off their hand. He stood up and straightened his clothes before holding out his arms. Remy leant up to snake their arms around his neck. He placed his hands carefully so he was carrying them bridal style. They winced at every little movement but tried to hide it.

He held back a grimace when he glanced back at the bed. There were bottles that had been hastily swept under it to try and hide them. Not just alcohol, poppers too. There were cigarettes and half finished joints littered across the nightstand. Janus got a cold feeling in his body, it reached out to his fingertips.

He carried them out from the bedroom and found his way to the bathroom. There was mold growing on the walls next to the bathtub and the mirror was cracked. 

He sat them down on the floor and moved to let go but Remy didn’t. for a few more moments they held him there, with his body pressed close to theirs. Their eyes were closed, his was wide in surprise. His lips brushed against their cheek, right next to their lips. 

Remy pressed him even closer “I’ve really really missed you. I didn’t realize how much I- How much having you around like impacts me before you...before you weren’t around” They took a deep breathe before continuing “I didn’t realize just how much I love you”

Janus closed his eyes and relaxed into their hold “I can’t even measure how much I love you anymore...AS a friend!”

“Yeah” They let go of him, he leant back on the heels of his feet. Remy chuckled “As a friend”

“Okay I heard that chuckle. I understand what you mean” Janus smirked “You want me to love like I am an assassin hired to kill you. The best way to forge friendships”

That made them chuckle even harder “Oh girl you really have been left alone with Remus haven’t you”

“Indeed. Many hours just him and me. Are you jealous” They snarked back.

“Oh shut up! Am not! Now shut up and like uh do your job! The shaving stuff should be in the like mirror cabinet”

Janus sent them a smug smile before getting up. The cabinet was overfilled with empty painkiller packages and used up toothbrushes. There were stains in the sink from hairdye. They picked up an electric shaver and had just turned around to look at their crush when Remy interrupted them

“Doesn’t it feel kinda weird with me like being in my underwear and you being like fully clothed?”

“You- oH dear you’re right” Janus started glancing around for clothes “Uhm I can go get you some more appropriate attire”

Remy broke up into a grin “Girl I wasn’t talking ‘bout me getting dressed”

janus looked at them with a dumbfounded look “What?....Oh”

“Only if you want to”

His face had gone back to blushing red “...Ssssure”

Janus put down the shaver. He unbuttoned each of the buttons on his purple shirt one by one. He could feel Remy’s eyes on him as he reached down to unbuckle the snake belt that held up his sweatpants. It left him in his boxers and his knee high socks.

Normally Remy would have felt guilty over not feeling the ‘correct’ emotions (horniness), but all those thoughts got pushed away as the love for their crush got pushed forward. The love filled their brain so much it leaped out into the rest of their body, their chest bubbled over with adoration. At the happy trail going up from his boxers. At the soft curves of his fat stomach and hips. At the-

“HOLY SHIT. GIRL! You got hairy legs!!!” Remy exclaimed. 

Janus looked down at their own legs even though they fully knew they had hairy legs “Unless I am hallucinating, I do yes”

“I didn’t know that!!! That’s like hot and stuff!”

“Oh...Right...I suppose you haven’t seen me since I started wearing shorter skirts”

“SHORTER SKIRTS??? No wonder Remus is spending time around you!!”

“Pff. It’s not exactly the height of fashion” Janus replied while taking the shaver and sitting down on the ground in front of Remy.

“If you’re wearing it it is”

“What a charmer” 

Janus held out the shaver so Remy could take it. They stared at it for a few seconds before shaking their head.

“My wrist...and uh...fingers...they’re a bit....stale...right now, I don’t think I can...Pretty sure I would like drop that the second I tried to pick it up”

“Right of course. I can uh help?”

“Just don’t cut me”

Janus leaned a bit closer “Of course not. There are much Much more interesting ways of assassination”

“Like what? giiirl I need examples”

He lightly grabbed onto their wrist to hold out their arm. He moved the shaver over the minuscule amount of hair “Well for one i could tie you to the bed and leave you in the apartment with a hungry snake. Eventually the snake will start eating you and all you can do is wait”

“ohoho digging that one”

“I could invite you out to dinner and when i go behind you to refill your wine I could stra- I could stab you, in the back obviously”

“Why you got so many ideas? Girl are you gonna kill me??? You better”

He let go of their wrist and took the other “Oh I am just filled with wrath every thursday from 5 to 9 pm. Keeps things simple”

"Ooh girl gotta put that into my planner"

He trailed his hand down to their leg. They winced when he moved their knee slightly. He mumbled out an apology. He moved a bit closer so he sat between where their feet were, his head was close to their chest. After their laugh had ended it got so quiet he could faintly hear their worryingly slow heart beat.

Janus couldn’t help but notice how their thigh was barely wider than his upper arm. He felt a bit nauseous, not at the sight (he could never look at them with disgust), but at the implication. He moved the words around on his tongue for a few minutes as he shaved their legs.

He looked up and met their eyes. He cupped their cheek and his thumb trailed along their cheekbone. They lifted their chin a little so he could take away what they saw as the disgusting start of a beard.

“I’m sorry. I know you’re not supposed to talk to a lady about their weight...but....i’m...I couldn’t help but notice that uhm-”

“I look like a dead bitch?” Remy cut in.

“Well uh I mean-”

“Viv said I looked like a Jack the skeleton impersonator so like girl you can just say I look like whatever. I already know I look horrible anyway”

“You don’t! That’s a lie!! You liar! I- I just got worried. Though I understand if you’ve lost weight because of the pain making it hard to eat, or if getting to the kitchen is harder, or- or if- I suppose I’ve heard that certain substances make you lose weight rather quickly- I uh....I know a person who’s been to rehab so I really don’t judge”

Remy stared at them for a few seconds before breaking out into a raspy laugh.

“HOYL SHIT JANNY! IT’S COCAINE! COCAINE MAKES YOU LOSE WEIGHT! FUCKING HELL I’M NOT ON COKE!! JEEZ GIRL!” They laughed out.

Janus let out a sputtered mess of words. Their ears went red from embarrassment. “I didn’t know that!”

“Yeah obviously!!” Remy grinned “Who the fuck do you know that went to rehab?? I thought your only friends were like me and Remus. OMG girl don’t tell me Logie used to deal like serious drugs or something”

“Now you’re just avoiding my questions”

Remy rolled their eyes “Ugh fine girl. The pain just makes me like tots nauseous. That’s all”

Janus leant back and put the shaver away. “...Okay...I can tell you’re lying....Though I suppose you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to”

They glanced at him. They dragged their hand up and down their now smooth arm while hesitating “I haven’t been eating well. Like at all. I- I’ve gone days without eating. It’s just been the sugar in my coffee, some stale bread there, maybe some candy here. Never a full meal. It’s been easy ‘cause like the chronic pain is so bad I don’t feel the hunger pains that much and I like can’t go to the kitchen when the urge to eat gets too much”

When Remy looked at Janus again they nearly flinched back because his eyes were just that wide and filled with worry. He pulled them into a hug that made them want to wince in pain. But it was worth it. They didn’t want to move a single inch.

“You have to take care of yourself! It’s been a month! You fool! You stupid idiot! I love you you sweet bastard! You have to eat! It’s no wonder you can barely walk!! your body doesn’t have the energy! How do you expect the pain to get better if your body doesn’t have the things needed to help itself??? Sorry. Sorry. I shouldn’t speak harshly. But you have to take care of yourself!” Janus babbled out in a single breathe.

Remy sunk into his strong arms. His bare chest was pressed against theirs “I’m sorry. lil Janny. Very sorry”

“You shouldn’t be sorry!! You should be asking me to make you one hell of a lunch!”

“...i dunno...i don’t really feel like it....not eating helps with the dysphoria...i’ve always eaten little ‘cause if i’m skinny my waist is small and that like makes me look...y’know better..less...like a man...and now....the chronic pain is just everywhere and Vi- And I can’t control the pain...i can’t control what i do....i can’t control anything...i have to control something....even if it’s just the food”

Janus kept them just as close but moved his hands to cup their cheeks. He brought their face close and looked right into their eyes.

“Honey that’s how eating disorders starts-”

“I don’t got an ed”

“I know. I know that. I am just saying that- that is dangerously similar to how it starts and if it starts then you won’t control that either! Because then it will be your sickly mind controlling you. Sorry. I’m sorry your dysphoria is so bad and that....that everything is like....this....but I swear there are other solutions to this. Just spitballing here but uhm puzzles? Puzzles usually give me a sense of control. Anything but this”

Janus gently ran his thumb up and down their cheeks. His eyes looked like they were desperately pleading to them to be okay. Remy’s words caught in their throat.

“Remy, You have to take care of yourself. There’s only one of you, and living in a world without you would be like living in a barren wasteland”

They glanced away “all i’m doing is laying in bed, lazing about doing nothing. it’s not like i need much foo-”

“You are literally going against a chronic illness everyday. Honestly you’re doing more than me any given day. You’re not lazy. You’re surviving. And I love you, so you better keep surviving”

Remy let out a sigh before letting their head rest against his shoulders. A small chuckle left their lips “guess i’m gonna let you make me that hell of a lunch. better be so good it brings devils into our home”

Janus shone up into a smile “Gladly!”

“Can you like go get my cane then?”

“Oh- Oh yes of course!”

Janus quickly hurried back into the bedroom and took the cane. With Remy leaning on the cane and having their crush by their side they managed to walk the short distance to the kitchen part of the living room.

Their crush only left their side to drag a chair next to the stove which they collapsed onto. Their entire body throbbed as if they’d ran a marathon. Their heart beat out of their chest, it all made them feel pathetic. Until they felt Janus press a kiss to the top of their head. Suddenly the bad feelings were gone, replaced with a warm fuzzy feeling.

The sink was spilling over with dirty dishes. When Janus opened the fridge a stench of mold hit them. Around half of the stuff in there had to be out of date. The urge to clean started to get overbearing. They knew they couldn’t though. They knew they couldn’t do anything that would make Virgil know they’d been there.

They settled on a package of tomato soup mix and took a forgotten carrot as well. They quickly washed a pot and put it on the stove. Without really thinking about it they quietly started to hum.

He heard a quiet whine behind him before feeling cold arms around his waist and Remy's face being leaned against the crook of his neck. He could feel how they were using him as a crutch to keep themself upright while snuggling, but he didn’t mind. He put some water on while cutting up the carrot.

“I like you’re voice” Remy murmured.

“Pff it’s nothing”

“It’s comforting” 

They pressed a kiss to his neck which made him squirm with tickles. So obviously they trickled more kisses, from his neck to his shoulder down to his bare back, along his spine. While their fingers trailed up and down his stomach. He tried to hold back a giggle.

“You are making it mighty hard to make soup” 

“Good”

Janus muttered some snarky reply under their breathe. They put in the tomato mix and stirred it together with the carrots. Remy relaxed against them and let out a content sigh.

“I wish I could live with both Viv and you at the same time” Remy admitted “Like not that the 3 of us would all live together but that I would somehow like live with both of you. You’re so...You. You’re warm and smart and cute and wonderful. And Viv is uh Viv”

He smiled at their words “That would indeed be ideal” He did a lil fake cough before managing to get out (in a suuuuper smooth tone) “You know you can stay over at my place whenever you want to. I have a sleeping bag, hell I have a bed. If things ever...get rough..or if you simply feel like it, even if it’s 4 am you can come over and stay however long you want. I promise”

“Aww Jannnyy” They pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck “How cute”

“Remember it!!”

“Sure I will” They chuckled out.

The soup seemed to be done but Janus didn’t really let them know. Having them cuddled like this was just so so good. But the mom instinct took over! They had to eat!!

"Should I uhm help you to the couch?" He asked.

"Nah babe, you should just leave me here to decay"

"Very funny"

He picked them up and carried them to the mothbitten couch in front of the tv. There was a coffee table, the ashtray on it was overflowing. He went back to get the pot and two spoons. There came a quiet thunk and few mumbled swearwords from the couch. When Janus got back he saw the controller to the tv on the floor while Remy was staring at their stale hands.

“I- I uh tried to like pick it up and- and it just- my hands just wouldn’t...work”

Janus sat down beside them and put the pot on the table. He reached out and loosely held onto their wrist which made them whine.

“Sorry” He mumbled out before pressing a kiss to their wrist “I know this doesn’t help but-”

“Don’t stop” Remy interrupted.

“Oh- okay”

He let his lips linger against the pale skin of their other wrist. He could feel the slight pound from their vein in rhythm with their heartbeat. He kissed each of their knuckles. His thumb trailed up and down their wrist in a sort of massage way. All while he reached for the controller. The tv was showing some mindless cooking show.

“Ugh. Eating shouldn’t feel this like gross” Remy muttered out.

“That’s exactly why you should do it”

“Shut up you smarty pants”

“Aw darling I think shutting up is the last thing you want me to do actually” Janus replied with a smirk.

He took a spoonful of the soup. His eyes went wide when it actually tasted good. Remy leant closer and bonked their head against his shoulder to get his attention. They motioned for their wrist. He nodded. They parsed their lips and let him guide the spoon into their mouth. They looked absolutely repulsed by every bite of food but they didn’t tell him to stop.

Janus stopped for a moment just to say “I did tell you you’re beautiful right? Just making sure”

Remy rolled their eyes “Wooow Janister. I see you’re on your A game with flirting today”

“FLIRTING?! I am Not flirting! This is friendly banter!!!”

“Sure Jan”

They split the rest of the soup. Remy had gotten so used to the hunger they hadn’t even realized how hungry they were until now. It felt like their stomach was an endless pit. Their brain got even louder, screaming for chocolate and meat and loafs of bread. But they kept quiet about it. The soup was enough to warm them.

Janus put the pot aside on the table. Remy let out a few swear words as they moved to make themself comfortable. They laid down on their side with their body between his thighs. Their head leant against his stomach and they let out a long content sigh. He hesitated before putting his hand on their back.

Remy looked at the tv for a few minutes “Girrl this is tots boring”

“Oh, Well I’m sure your tv has other channels”

“Nah. It’s okay. I’m with you. That’s all I need”

Janus blushed at that. Remy noticed since the warmth went out all the way to his fingertips. They sent him a sinister look before turning so they were leaning on their elbows.

They moved their hand to linger on his inner thigh. Remy didn’t break eye contact as they leant in and pressed a kiss to his thigh. They parsed their lips slightly to let their teeth sink into his skin, if only a little. When they leant back from the kiss they dragged in his skin, again if only a little. It left a red bitemark.

“Sorry. Was that okay?” Remy asked.

Janus was pretty much frozen. It looked like their eyes would jump out of their sockets. They forced out a squeak that sounded like “yes!!”

“Cool”

Remy leant in and did the same to his other thigh. The hair on his leg tickled their cheek which made them smile midkiss. They felt just a little guilty since they could see Janus reacting the ‘normal’ way, even if he was trying to hide it. The way he leant his head back and closed his eyes, even opened his mouth a little. They felt nothing like that. They just....they felt the love beating in their heart. But they didn’t feel what they were supposed to.

They shook the thoughts away and focused on the relaxed smile on their crush’s lips. They leant forward on their elbows and let their hands glide up so their fingers were threading at the edge of his boxers. They pressed kisses along his happy trail. They heard Janus suck in a sudden breathe.

They moved without thinking. The pink blush was making his skin glisten. His eyes were half closed and his lips were wonderfully full. His hands were warm and full of kindness.

Remy leant in to kiss him on the lips. It wasn’t until they were about an inch away they realized what they were doing and flinched back. Janus’ eyes had turned wide again and his mouth was frozen in a choked back word. They slammed their hand over their mouth and looked away.

“you’ve been here for a while. uhm i don’t know what the time is. maybe virgil will be back soon” Remy mumbled out.

“If you want me to leave, I will, though I’m quite sure we have time left”

“i’m a bad partner” 

“For what? I don’t remember you doing anything that would contradict you being a good partner. No memory. Nada” Janus put their hand to their chin to pretend to try and remember “No. Nothing. Hmm seems like the soup wiped away my memories over what happened immediately after eating the soup. Weird. Oh well!”

A small smile formed on Remy’s lips as they murmured out “You sneaky bastard”

“Can’t deny that”

Remy cuddled up against his stomach again. They were still warm from the meal. They could feel their crush running his fingers through their hair. They felt genuinely safe for the first time in a month. Their body stopped tensing up and their shoulders relaxed. They sunk into the warm comfort that was their crush.

Janus relaxed against the couch. Everything else fell away. He could stay like this forever. Nothing was said for a long time. It all felt so natural. Remy studied their crush’s face, every inch of it, while tracing their fingers over their cheek.

“Thanks babe” They murmured out. “For like everything you’ve like done today”

“I’ve done the bare minimum. It was really no hassle” Janus replied “I would gladly do it again”

“Mhm. But baaaabbee you’ve been so focused on me. What about you? Is my lovely lil Janny doing good? Do I gotta kill someone? Kill Logie? Seduce Logie?”

“NEither. Please” They thought for a bit before shrugging “I’m doing good. I have Logan, Remus, Patty and you. I think about you every day, I hope you know that. I wonder if you’re doing good-”

“Silly bitch. Now you’re talking ‘bout me again. I already babble on about me 24/7. C’mon Janny babey”

“Okay well....to be honest....I am really critically nervous about....christmas” Janus nearly shook just thinking about it.

“Don’t tell me you going back to your shitass parents”

“No! No. Never. But uhm well Logan and Patty always celebrate together with Lo’s parents and they uh invit-”

“YOU’RE MEETING LOG’S PARENTS??? BITCH??? I DIDN’T THINK YOU WERE THAT SERIOUS!!! I thought you were like each other’s boytoys or something”

“Nope! I am meeting his parents. And I am totally not nervous about it. Not at all”

“Girl you’re dying”

“I’m dying” Janus tapped their hand to stim some nervousness out “And then there’s also the Hanukkah party tomorrow-”

“TOMORROW!?”

“Indeed. Just me, Patty, Rowan, Remus and a bunch of rich cool popular famous strangers. It’s totally going to go great. I totally will not mess up in front of Remus or make him hate me or get so drunk I throw up or anything of that sort. He will definitely like my gift. Nothing to worry about. HAH! Nothing. I’m not nervous”

“Babe babe babe. It will go great. Just wear one of those short skirts and everyone will be too blinded by your thick thighs to notice if you fuck up”

“Oh ha ha. Very funny” He replied dryly.

Remy’s tone shifted “...at least you can go..”

“..oh....Right....Sorry”

“No- I- I know you didn’t mean to rub it in my face. I miss Remus....I did make him a gift uhm could you give it to him from me?”

“Of course!”

“Thanks babe” They pressed a quick kiss to his cheek “It should be on my nightstand”

“Right”

Janus stood up and instinctually went to straighten his clothes before realizing he was still in his boxers and socks, now with bite mark on his thigs. It was damn good Virgil hadn’t come home. 

He went into the bedroom. It still had a stench of drugs in the air. On the nightstand laid a crocheted pin. It was made in green thread and showed off an octopus sigil. He smiled to himself as he picked it up. 

When he moved to go back to the living room his foot stepped on one of the empty bottles of poppers that had rolled out from under the bed. It nearly cracked. Janus hunched down and looked at them. To his horror there was an entire bag of still full poppers, and at least 20 empty ones. 

He was stuck staring at the drugs until a sudden sound startled him. The sound had come from Remy’s phone. The screen lit up with a message.

Boo 🖤: “the manager let me go early. long story. some kid puked on the fjällrävar. i did not kill the kid. i swear. almost though. i’ll be home early”

Janus nearly ran back out into he living room. He basically slid into the couch. Remy laughed at him.

“Wow girl. Did my lil crochet thingie excite you that much?”

“Virgil is getting home early. I saw it. I DIDN’T check your phone! The screen lit up on it’s own!”

“Oh...if he just sent it...he should be here in half an hour” They took a deep breathe “Alright put the pot back, turn off the tv and uh help me back to the bathroom. It’ll be believable that I managed to shave on my own I think”

“Okay. Okay”

janus quickly did just as told. He made sure to set Remy down in the spot of the bathroom that was the farthest away from the mold. He put on his clothes again. His hand lingered on the bitemarks for just a moment as he put on his pants.

He hunched down in front of them. All the words choked on his tongue. He couldn’t even get out a goodbye. Remy leant forward and winced as they hugged him.

“I don’t want you to go” It came out as a whisper.

Janus moved his arms around them “Me neither��

“You have to come back soon. Promise me that. You have to come back so you can tell me how the Hanukkah party went and uh if Remus liked my gift and- and Logie’s parents were nice. You have to come back!”

“I will. I promise. As soon as possible. I won’t leave you here. You can call me whenever, you can stay at my place for however long as you want whenever you need to”

Remy didn’t reply. They closed their eyes and tried to remember his scent, his warmth, the feel of his arms around them. So they could hopefully replay it in their mind when the pain engulfed them.

Janus took out a note from his pants. He held it out to them “This is uh a phoneline to- to an abuse shelter. You know what I think about Virgil but I won’t call him abusive or tell you to leave. I will simply give you this because all of the homeless shelters were full. I just thought maybe if you have to leave and you can’t get to me or Remus you can at least have this. You can just call them and ask for the address. If Virgil sees the note you can just say some random person dropped it in the mailbox. Okay? Please just take it. For my sake at least”

Remy hesitated before taking the note. They hid it in their sock “...thanks”

“It’s nothing” He leant back to look into their eyes “Please take care of yourself. I know it’s hard to shower or eat or even move but please at least try. You have to eat. I- I can’t lose you. Who else would call me a bitch if you’re gone!?”

They let out a dry laugh at that. They hadn’t let go of his hand “...I’ll try...i promise”

“Trying is all you need to do”

Remy still didn’t let go even when Janus moved to leave. They dragged in his sleeve. 

“I don’t want you to go” They started to go cry, the ugly kind. It was like seeing a raw vein.

Janus sat down again and pulled them close. He combed through their hair while mumbling sweet nothings. “I would stay if I could” He kissed their ear “I would stay if you told me to”

They tried to speak but it got drowned out in tears.

“Remy we could leave. Just say the word and I will help you out of here. I will help you pack anything you need and I will help you to my apartment, or to Remus’, or to a hotel, or anywhere you want to go except for here. Just tell me to help you. Please”

“i don’t want you to leave” They cried out.

“I know. I know”

“i don’t deserve this. i don’t deserve you. i’ll be stuck here forever. i will never get better. my fibro has just gotten worse. i will always be in this much pain. i will always have to be taken care of. it will never end. i will never get better. i should just rot away. i should decay. i should let myself disappear. you won’t let me disappear. virgil will. so you should just forget about me instead”

Janus lifted their chin and wiped their tears away. He forced them to look at him even through sobs.

“Remy listen to me. You. Will. Get. Better. You haven’t eaten nearly enough in nearly an entire month. Do you realize what that does to your brain? It makes you insanely depressed. Not to even speak about the pain you’re in, or the isolation or the- the everything! It’s natural for you think cynically. It really is. But it’s not true! Even if someone else tells you it is!”

They shook their head “i’ll just get worse. the fibro will just get worse”

“You will get better. I won’t leave you. I’ll come back as soon as a can. I will never let myself forget about you” Janus kissed one of their tears “I love you”

They continued to sniffle but nodded. Their voice was a bit hoarse as they whispered “I love you too”

Janus slowly let go of them and stood up “When I come back I’ll tell you about how it went with Remus and with Logan and everything okay? I’ll tell you happy memories okay? I’ll take care of you so goddamn well you realize you will get better if V- if the people around you allowed you to”

Remy managed to send him a tired smile “thanks Janny...thanks....I’ll try”

“That’s all you need to do”

He lingered in the doorway for a few seconds too long. He had to force himself with each and every step to turn away and leave. He glanced around the apartment one last time and ached. He wondered if he even deserved the happy memories, if the deserved to go to the Hanukkah party or spend christmas with Logan or anything like that, when Remy was stuck in this rotting place.

Janus closed the apartment door behind him.

10 minutes later Virgil came home. He dragged his feet behind him and made a show of sighing incredibly loudly as he dragged off his jacket and kicked off his shoes.

“Baaaabe. I’m home. And I didn’t commit murder!”

It felt like something was wrong in the apartment. As if someone has broken in and moved everything a single inch just to annoy him, but he couldn’t place his finger on exactly what had changed. He went into the bedroom and immediately started to panic when Remy wasn’t there. Oh god had they left. They couldn’t leave. He’d made sure- They couldn’t just leave. What if they were in danger. Or hurt. Or dead. They couldn’t leave-

“Honey. You walked past me” Remy’s voice sounded just a bit shaky but Virgil didn’t notice.

He didn’t even question why they were on the bathroom floor. He just collapsed next to them and gave them a big kiss before putting his head in their lap.

“Ugh, The day I’ve had. Horrible! Lemme tell you- wait” Virgil traced his hand over their jaw “Holy shit, did you shave? You actually managed to do something on your own without whining about it?? Impressive. I thought you’d gotten so lazy you had to be as annoying as a cheese grater being put directly against my ears before even attempting to do anything”

Virgil laughed so Remy tried to laugh along “Yeah uh. Just shaved. That’s all”

“Well anyway so I was just trying to do my job when this kid...”

He babbled on. The words fell away as Remy gulped. They tried to remind themself of Janus’ words. Of his kind eyes. His comforting tone.

“Uhm babe” They interrupted “Do you- uhm- Is it possible that uhm- that you could make me dinner tonight as well? Just some uh quick ramen should do”

Virgil shone up into a smile and leant up to kiss them again “Of course. Finally! You were starting to look real fucked up with how skinny you were getting. Kinda gross actually. Or maybe that’s ‘cause of your hair. Anyway glad you’re eating! Love you! I don’t know what I’d do without you”

“love you too” They mumbled.

They could feel the note with the phone number to the abuse shelter poking into their foot. They didn’t know if they should call. Virgil was being nice. Or at least he was just being normal levels of rude. He wasn’t yelling or throwing things or- or.....Maybe those times had just been because of something they’d done. As long as they did everything right maybe he would let them get their meds again, and see their friends and never yell at them ever again. Maybe it’d just been one time things. Maybe it’d been their fault.

Remy felt the note poking as their boyfriend continued to babble on. They didn’t know if they should call. Was Virgil really That bad.

[spicycreativity]

Howl - Chapter 1

Rating: Teen

Fic Content Warnings: Blood, injury, suggestive content, alcohol use

Characters: All

Pairing: Analogical, background Moceit because apparently I can't help myself

Add'l Notes: dw if you don't know what a loup-garou is or how the lore works; all is explained in the story / Have I ever been to Louisiana? No 💕Did I write an entire story set in rural-ish Cajun Louisiana anyway because I hate myself? Yes 💕 / If you're from Louisiana and noticed any screw-ups, pls correct me so I can fix it

It also comes with a playlist! For ambience, not necessarily for the lyrics

Summary:

Two things happen to Virgil Landry on Halloween:

1) Logan Doucet, his longtime friend and slightly-less-longtime crush, asks him out

2) He becomes cursed to spend his nights as a half-man, half-wolf monster: a loup-garou

Despite his new affliction, Virgil strives for normalcy all the way up until he can't anymore and everything falls apart.

The floorboards creaked in their familiar pattern as Virgil paced over them, his feet sliding around awkwardly in his over-the-knee boots. He was supposed to meet Logan alone in an hour, an hour! His heart thumped painfully under his ribs. What did Logan want?

Virgil yanked his phone out of his pocket to re-read the message for the 85th time, ignoring a few new messages in his assorted group chats:

Logan: If it's not inconvenient, could you meet me early at the Plaza tonight? Maybe 6:30?

Virgil: yeah sure 

Virgil: everything OK?

Logan: Yes :-)

What did it mean? Was everything okay? Or was Logan just lying to make him feel better? Because if so, it wasn't working. Virgil ran his hands through his hair, careful not to smudge his makeup. It had taken him an hour and a half to perfect his vampire makeup in the mirror and he didn't want to risk messing it up.

With a sigh that turned into a groan, Virgil threw himself down on his couch. It made the walls rattle, nearly displacing a few trinkets on his crappy, rickety shelves. He heard a tell-tale scrape above his head and knew that his favorite painting had gone crooked again. God, this place was a wreck-- Just like Virgil. He made a mental note to ask Patton for help patching up the leaky roof. It was as good a time as any, as they were well out of rainy season, but it did seem a little rude. What was he even supposed to say? Hey, Patton, I know carpentry is literally what you do for a living, but could you help me for free since I'm broke and sad? Thanks, bud. Yeah, right. He sighed again and tugged at his medallion, a rusted old thing with a glass gem in the center. He had picked it up from a thrift store months earlier in anticipation of Halloween, but maybe he should have made some effort to restore it. It smelled strongly of rust and decay and felt terrible between his fingers, all oily and sticky.

So far, the only saving grace of the day was that it wasn't raining now. Virgil had spent his workday in silent anxiety, eyeing the storm clouds through the shop window and rubbing a small piece of sunstone between his thumb and forefinger. It seemed to have worked, as the clouds had dispersed a little and allowed the watery light of the autumn sun to peek through.

Virgil's phone lit up with a few more messages in his group chats: Roman having hysterics over some detail of his costume, Janus and Remus discussing how to avoid the small army of toddlers that always ran rampant at the Halloween parade. Virgil ignored them all. He was in no mood to be friendly, would probably snap at them. Logan hadn't said anything since his message to Virgil, which he had presumably sent on his lunch break. The question haunted Virgil, that great unknown lurking behind him and instilling a fear that no ghost ever could: What did Logan want?

Virgil set his phone down and leaned forward, heaving a sigh that turned into a yawn. Great. Whatever. That meant he was on the verge of hyperventilating, his breathing already irregular. Damn it, Logan knew better than to leave him hanging like this! They'd known each other for so long and he'd always been more perceptive to Virgil's needs than the others.

Especially lately… They'd been spending more time alone, and Virgil couldn't deny the sweet, warm giddiness that enveloped him every time they were alone together. First meetings were always his favorite, seeing Logan's face light up with a smile. He hadn't dared to think that Logan might feel the same way, but it was getting harder and harder to keep his fantasies on a leash. Worst-case scenarios and best-case scenarios dueled in his head: Logan kissing him, Logan telling him they couldn't be friends anymore, Logan confessing, Logan announcing that he had some incurable disease.

Virgil grabbed his phone and jumped to his feet. He couldn't do this anymore, couldn't sit here and torture himself. He would just leave now. He would rather arrive freakishly early than face another minute of this self-inflicted torment 

He double and triple checked he had his wallet and his plastic fangs, which he

was planning on putting on later. The medallion bounced against his exposed chest as he walked and he wondered briefly if it might be more trouble than it was worth. He could always swap it out for one of his pendants, maybe amethyst to calm his nerves. But it looked so good against his skin, falling perfectly in the deep V of his flowy white poet shirt. Unlike his other necklaces, it screamed vampire. And Janus would tease him if he caught Virgil wearing a subpar costume, and then Roman would join in, and Remus, and it would turn into a whole thing . He could wear the stupid medallion for one night.

 -

Virgil regretted this decision as soon as he got his moped going. Even at its 30 mph crawl, the heavy necklace bounced against his chest in a maddening rhythm. At least it was distracting. Every time he started to worry about Logan, the erratic tap-tap-tap of cold metal on his chest brought him back to Earth.

It was a long ride into town down a windy country road. He hugged the shoulder as best as he could despite the lack of traffic; Virgil's neighbors were few, but they all liked to take corners at frighteningly high speeds. The one person who did drive by honked at him and flashed their lights. Virgil's heart dropped and he nearly flipped them off before he realized that they liked his costume. It occurred to him then that he must look pretty absurd: A vampire riding a purple moped, cape fluttering on the wind.

Upon reaching the Plaza, Virgil did a few laps around downtown, smiling at the spiderwebs decorating Vaillant City Hall. Another lap revealed that empty parking spots were already becoming scarce, so Virgil pulled into one and checked his phone. Nothing from Logan. Just more hysterics from Roman, and Patton's best attempts at comfort. Virgil rolled his eyes. Maybe Roman did need some tough love. He scanned through the messages to orient himself, to make sure he didn't look dumb, and then typed out his reply.

Virgil: look, Prince Charming. 2 rolls of body glitter is more than enough. Stop freaking out

Roman: That's DOCTOR Prince Charming to you

Virgil: :*

He put his phone away, tucked his keys in his pocket, and forced himself to walk slowly toward the Plaza. He was still excruciatingly early, but maybe he could pop into a bar or grab a coffee or even swing by his work-- Oh.

There, standing by the reflecting pool with his hands in his pockets, was Logan. Virgil smiled despite his nerves and sped up. Leave it to Logan to somehow be earlier than early.

"Hey, Data," Virgil said once he was in earshot.

Logan's face lit up, and even the yellow contacts he was wearing couldn't mask the fondness in his face. "Evening, Virge," he said. His smile dropped too quickly and he kept his hands shoved in his pockets. Virgil surveyed all this with dread. Was he reading too much into it? Most definitely. Could he stop? No way.

"Everything okay?" Virgil asked, tugging at his medallion and turning his nervous gaze upon the placid waters of the reflecting pool. Great. Now he had two awesome reasons to be nervous. It was an old Vaillant legend that anyone who disturbed the waters of the pool would be cursed, and Virgil did not mess with curses. He usually took pains to avoid the Plaza, even if it meant he had to take the long way to work.

"Yes, Virgil," Logan said in a voice that was far too breathy. He cleared his throat. "As you know, we have been friends for a long time. I…" He paused, blinked. "I forgot what I was going to say."

"Jeeze, Lo," Virgil tried to tease. "You're making me nervous."

"But I--" Logan ran a hand through his hair. "Virgil. I had prepared something far more eloquent than what I am about to say, but I can't seem to remember it at the moment. Forgive me if this comes across as confusing."

"All good," Virgil said, making only a minimal effort to hide his confusion. The medallion was cold and oily under his fingertips, but he couldn't stop messing with it, tugging at it, rattling the chain. He needed some outlet for all this nervous energy.

"We've been spending more time alone together and I

thought-- I wanted--" Logan touched his face and Virgil realized a second later he had tried to push up his glasses, which he wasn't wearing. Oh, how cute. "Virgil, I would like to go steady with you."

A rush of vertigo smacked into Virgil with such force that he had to take a step back just to keep his balance. "Go steady?" he heard himself say. "Like-- Like, boyfriends?"

"If you are amenable to that," Logan said, furiously running his fingers over the piping on his uniform. "If not, I-- We can pretend this never--"

"Yes," Virgil interrupted. "Yes, yes, yes. Logan, I do want that."

"Oh," said Logan, his face breaking into a smile. "Good."

Virgil clenched his fist around the medallion wondering if it was too soon to ask for a kiss. He took a breath and felt something give with a quiet snap. The broken chain snaked along his neck, dragged down by the weight of the pendant. Virgil watched in silent agony as the necklace landed in the water of the reflecting pool with a quiet splash. "Shit."

"Allow me," said Logan, already in motion.

"No!" Virgil caught his hand and held it. "The curse." He realized what he had done and let go of Logan's hand.

"I don't believe in such things, Virgil, but if it's important to you, then I'll leave it."

"Thank you." Virgil stared down at the water and sighed through his nose. He'd already disturbed the water. Would it be better to leave the necklace or take it out? Littering seemed more disrespectful, he supposed. So he bent and grabbed the necklace before he could change his mind. "I'll, uh, de-curse-ify myself later."

Logan nodded, looking preoccupied. "Let me know if I can help. I might be able to repair the chain."

"Actually," said Virgil, stuffing the wet necklace into his pocket, "I was wondering if maybe, um…"

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please do."

Virgil closed his eyes so he wouldn't get weirded out by Logan's contacts. He had been expecting a short kiss, sweet and chaste, but Logan's hand tightened in the loose fabric of Virgil's poet shirt and his teeth grazed Virgil's bottom lip. Fuck propriety, then; the Plaza was still fairly empty. Virgil raised a hand to grab a fistful of Logan's hair and ran his tongue along the edge of Logan's lip.

They were interrupted by a wolf whistle and golf claps. "I'll be damned." Crap. Why did it have to be Janus? He was never going to let Virgil live this down.

Virgil pulled away so fast it made pain shoot through his neck. He exhaled sharply and covered the area with his hand for all the good it would do, turning to face Janus with a blush blooming on his cheeks. "What are you supposed to be?" he asked, looking Janus up and down. Janus had always been unnecessarily private about things that really didn't matter. He had evaded all of Virgil's attempts to guess his costume, and now presented wearing an old-fashioned suit including top hat, gloves, and cane.

"Don't change the subject," said Janus, dismissing Virgil with a wave.

In true vampire fashion, Virgil snarled and bared his teeth, then remembered something. "Oh, shit, my fangs!" He dug in his pocket for them, leaving Janus to do… whatever he was going to do.

"Logan, I presume?" Janus asked. Virgil stopped in the process of sticking on one tooth, heart hammering again. Janus and Logan had never met, and they could both be… a bit much in their own ways.

Logan nodded. "Logan Doucet." He held out his hand for a shake.

Janus took it. "Thank God you didn't bother to paint your face, else Virgil would have more than smudged lipstick to contend with. You've got some on your mouth, by the way."

"Thank you," Logan said stiffly. He withdrew his hand and used it to wipe away the lipstick stain on his face. "Nice to meet you, Professor Moriarty."

Virgil's eyes darted back to Janus, who smiled. "When I'm not acting as the Napoleon of Crime, you can call me Janus. Janus Bellefontaine."

"Where's Remus?" Virgil interjected, looking around. "Didn't he ride with you?"

"He got waylaid by some angry mothers because his costume made their kids cry," Janus said, nonchalantly running a

fingertip over the brim of his hat. "He'll be along." To Logan, he said, "Virgil tells me you're an accountant."

"Yes," said Logan. 

"And you haven't killed yourself yet, so I assume you must like it."

Virgil busied himself sticking his fangs onto his canines so he wouldn't worry about the conversation at hand. A sideways glance at Logan revealed that he seemed to find the comment amusing, thank God . "I've always been good with numbers. People, less so."

"Never would have guessed," Janus said, and Virgil didn't have to look at him to know he was smiling that crooked, tight-lipped smile that might have been genuine or might have been mocking. Asshole. "Well, if you have any rich clients, send them my way, won't you? I sell nice suits to dumb men with low self-esteem and too much money and I'm always on the lookout for another rube to swindle."

"If the suits are any good, I'd be happy to," Logan said.

Satisfied that his fangs were in properly, Virgil's attention shifted suddenly to the cold, wet medallion in his pocket. Right. He was cursed. Despite his interest in the occult and the supernatural, Virgil didn't have much experience with curses. His friends weren't really the type to play around with magic (well, maybe Janus, maybe- maybe Roman) and he wasn't the kind of guy who made enemies. No one had ever cursed him before. How soon would this one take effect? Should he go home and come back? Should he hop into the bayou, makeup be damned? Did bayous even count as running water?

He was so caught up in his panic spiral that the sudden sensation of hands on his shoulders made him jump. "Fuck!"

To his surprise it was Roman, not Remus, who laughed from somewhere behind him. "What, are Logan and Janus boring you?"

Virgil looked up and flinched again. While Roman looked relatively normal in his glittery Doctor Frank-n-Furter costume, Remus, who was lurking just behind his brother, was a horrorshow of fur and face paint and fake blood. "Um…" He shook himself and noticed Patton standing a ways off, peering at Remus. Distracted, he went to introduce Patton to Remus and Janus only to learn that he and Roman had run into Remus on their way over and rescued him from a brigade of shouty young mothers.

"He's Macavity," Patton said in a tone like he was pronouncing the death of the family goldfish.

"The other Napoleon of Crime," Janus agreed. "And you are?"

"Patton Haydel!"

A pause. "I gathered that. " Janus gestured at Patton's costume, which he had also kept a secret. Virgil had been staring at it as well, trying to figure it out. Patton was wearing what appeared to be a headless bear costume, round glasses, and what might have been a cowboy hat, though Virgil wasn't 100% sure. "What are you?"

"You have to guess!" Patton said, extending his arms and backing up so everyone could get a good look at him.

Virgil stared at him, running his tongue over the edges of his plastic fangs. "I got nothin'."

Logan took a sideways step and tapped Virgil's hand. Virgil nodded, and Logan interlaced their fingers as casually as he might clock in for work. "He's Teddy Bear Roosevelt."

They all groaned. "Good work, Pat," Virgil said begrudgingly.

"You have a big wet spot on your crotch," Remus pronounced, pointing at Virgil.

Janus raised his eyebrows, turning to Virgil with undisguised schadenfreude, but Logan stepped in before anyone could say anything. "It's water. He dropped his necklace in the reflecting pool."

"Well," said Patton, "that's not good."

"You dropped something in the reflecting pool and didn't immediately run for the nearest source of running water?" Janus asked. He looked from Virgil to Logan, then to their intertwined fingers and grinned. "Ah. More pressing matters at hand?"

"Maybe it's not too late," Roman said, drumming his acrylic nails against his thigh. "We can still dump him in the bayou."

"There's alligators in there!" Virgil said. "Fuck that. You know my house is plastered with wards. I'm sure I can make it through one evening."

"Your funeral," said Remus, leering. "Let me know if your dick falls

off.

 -

Despite his friends' concern, Virgil had a wonderful evening. Logan stuck close the whole night through, and they even snuck a few kisses here and there like infatuated teenagers. Each one sent a lightning thrill down Virgil's spine and made him want a dozen more. His friends noticed in turns and either teased or cooed, but each reaction was encouraging.

Logan kissed him goodbye at the end of the night and he practically floated back to his moped. He was so caught up in his daydreams that he only remembered the curse when he caught sight of the nazar hanging on his kitchen wall. Cursing under his breath, Virgil went to his bookshelf and began to compile a few methods of curse-breaking. Did a shower count as running water? God help him, he was not getting in the bayou. Maybe he could combine methods.

A few moments later, Virgil had everything set up in the bathroom. He lit the last candle, tightened the herb sachet around his neck, and stepped into the shower. Okay, time to focus. He was washing himself free of the curse and wouldn't it be nice if Logan were here? Logan didn't believe in magic and his clear-headed confidence would undoubtedly make Virgil feel better, too-- Focus! Wash away the curse. Logan would probably help him if he asked, helping Virgil set up the crystals and making sure his candles stayed lit-- Virgil! The curse! Wash away the curse.

The bathroom smelled of candles, incense, and herbs. Almost like Virgil's workplace, except that Virgil was using lavender and his boss preferred nag champa.

He stepped out of the shower and inhaled deeply, letting the mixture of scents relax him and draw him toward sleep.

[more-fandon-than-friends]

16

A/N:this is based on a song and it's sad, I hope you still like it though! I appreciate any comment / reblog!!

AU:Human AU

Pairing:Pining(one sided) prinxiety

TW:Major Past Character Death, Suicide mention/getting talked about, denial over death, mentions of college / school being hard, insecurities, angst/hurt no comfort, multiple mentions of Logan and Patton, one mention of Janus and one of Remus

Here a five emails Roman wrote, over five years. People change and realisations are hard.

16

Dear Virgil,

You are Sixteen now!!!! WOW!! SWEET SIXTEEN!!!

Happy Birthday, emo storm cloud!!!! I know we haven't talked much in a while, but Hey. What better time to reconnect than the day to celebrate you, right?

Logan has been trying soooooooo hard to get me to learn.. But like I don't need physics!

Like hello!? I'm an actor, a prince, an artist. No nerd. That's Logan.

Ugh. But now My mum starts to stress cause I need the good grade. But for what!? Argh. It's so annoying. All I want is to sing and play. Not do numbers stuff.

Well whatever, can't do much about that. And brave knights do what's best for the peasants even if they don't agree with it.

Oh! OH! Patton!! I have to tell you about Patton!

He started to learn how to bake! And he brings the goodies to school or Disney marathons! Like imagen Lion king and brownies! How great is that!? Ahhhh even LOGAN likes it.

Logan!!

Sure few things aren't perfect but puffball only started!

Well, I just wanted to chat a bit.

But just talked about me and the others! Well that's what I do I guess, talk about me.

How are you? I hope it's treating you well.

I have to go now. I will write you again

xx Roman

17

Dear Virgil,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Nearly an adult now! Congrats!

Have you heard!? I got the lead role in the play! Yes! I'm gonna play Evan! WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW

AHHHH I'M SO HAPPY. like you know how I always wanted the lead role! I finally got it. And Janus finally didn't get it! Like finally as if he is that good of an actor. I deserve it I worked for it! Patton said I worked for the audition more than all school work last year probably true lol

ALSO Logan is now doing the big quizes. He won the school one and now goes national. He is such a nerd!!! But honestly it's cool! He was missing a school day for a quiz like I want that too for plays!

Well Honestly that's all that happened. Sorry that's so short! But I don't have much time next to the play!

As Patton would say:Eat and drink like you would tell your kitty to and love yourself like it, bye bye

XxRoman

18

Dear Virgil,

Wow. 18 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! SUCH A GRANPA THERE.

I hope you are doing well.

Sorry I don't have a present for you. I know you like flowers, roses. I know. I know. Sorry Remus did some bullshit (what's new tho) and our parents froze both our bank accounts. Can't wait to be 18 Jeez.

WELL, I look for colleges now! Majoring in Acting. Patton want to do psychology and Logan physics. WELL I guess or majors aren't big surprises to you, are they?

I think a lot about you.

Just yesterday I found the city we drew at my room wall. My closet stood there for the longest time. But OMG do you rember us 5 year Olds doing that?! We felt like the biggest artist ever. That was fun. I miss that.

Well whatever!!

I will go adventure the world next year! Can't wait for it!

Miss you

xxRoman

19

Dear Virgil,

I nearly forgot to write you today, sorry!

College is so stressful! I couldn't just take acting, no, the other class I had to take was a language and that's so hard. But hey now I can speak a bit spanish

In all honestly college is draining. Maybe it's just the first year. But it's so overwhelming. You always told me that about school Guess now I can feel it.

And yeah that's fucking tiring. Oof. Let's hope it's gets better. Princes go to bad times and get out even stronger!

Right?

Well I hope so. Also sorry that all of them are so short. I SWEAR I always tell myself "today I'll write more" but then everything feels so wrong to write.

I don't know how to explain it.

Hope you are good

XX Roman

20

Dear Virgil,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Rember when I told you that writing so many things feel wrong?

Well I figured it out.

I was still in denial.

I didn't want to touch on anything that would make it to clear that you are gone.

It's silly, I know I know.

But acting as if I'm having a very one sided, yearly email exchange is better than realising facts. You are dead. For four years now.

And I, well I couldn't, didn't want to, see it. It's easier to ignore. Ignorance is bliss and all that.

And talking about anything in more detail would make it clear, you are gone. Crazy, right?

I still struggle with college by the way. I feel like I need to always be perfect, but learning a language is so hard, I just want to major in drama.

I also haven't seen Patton or Logan in the last few weeks. The curse of different colleges. I guess that makes it harder too. You know me, I love being with my friends.

I'm a bit scared that they forget me. They nearly never talk about you, so forgetting me isn't to far away, right?

Well.. Let's hope for the best.

I really miss you, Virge.

I don't know if you ever noticed, probably not, I had the biggest crush on you. How cliché, I know you don't like them, but I do. I planned in my head that picture percent future. I daydreamed about that quiet a lot. Then the call came. Your mother called us to come to the hospital. I did come, so did Logan and Patton, and she told us the doctors are trying to safe you. From yourself, basically. You couldn't do it anymore. And killed yourself. And my daydreams too. But even though you are dead. I know that. The day dreams for what futures we could have had don't leave. From celebrities to farms on the country side.

I know I told you that already, but I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry. I feel like I should have picked up something. I day-dream about being your knight in charming armor because I failed to do it in real life.

I wish I could have helped you.

I'm sorry.

I hope you are well.

I'll write you again next year, then I'm six years older than you were.

xxRoman

[tranquil-space-ninja]

The Story (Sanders' Sides Human AU)

Ft. Platonic Moxiety, trans Roman, Imaginality (Remus x Patton), and Emciet (Janus x Emile)

Tw: suicide, homophobia, implied abuse, transphobia, f*g said, tra**y said, bullying, anorexia

--------------------------------------------------

Patton stared at his phone. He had a shift at the office in a few minutes, but he couldn't..... He didn't quite know what he couldn't do today, but he couldn't do it. He called in sick. Emile was very understanding. "Take as long as you need, Pat," he said. "Your mental health comes first."

"Thanks, Dr. Picani." He hung up and continued to stare at the message on his phone.

Unknown Number

Got ur number from Jan. How u doing?

It was him. After all these years, it was really him. And, paired with the fact that it was only a week till his brother's birthday.... The last two years of high school came rushing back.

Patton's phone chimed.

Ro's birthday is coming up.

Like Patton didn't compulsively write down the date in his calender every year. June 4. They would have been twenty-six.

I'm moving to ur area 4 work. I finally caught up 2 u.

Patton stared at his phone without really seeing the messages. Tears started to bluer his vision. He wiped them away, only for them to return with a vengeance. Finally, Patton just let himself sob, hoping to get everything out by the time Virgil got home.

***

Virgil waved to his friends as he walked to his front door. His dad's car was in the driveway, which was a surprise. Normally, he wouldn't be back until dinner. He slowly opened the door. "Dad," he asked. Patton gave Virgil a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Hey, kiddo! How was school?"

"Okay. How are you doing? Are you sick?"

"No, no, I'm fine. Just taking a mental health day. Sit down! I made popcorn. We can watch Black Cauldron."

Virgil sighed and sat down, leaning on Patton. Patton put part of his blanket around the teen and pulled him closer. He loved his son more than anything. He would not let Virgil go through the same things he did.

***

Just as Virgil was about to go to sleep, someone knocked on his door. "Come in," he called. Patton opened the door and gave him another fake smile. He sat down on the chair beside Virgil's desk.

"Can I tell you a story," Patton asked.

"I'm a little old for bedtime stories."

"Please? It's kinda boring, but.... I'll be quick. Please?" Virgil stared at his dad. He hated the desperate look in hs eyes. It was getting closer to June, which meant he'd grow quiet and a bit withdrawn. Maybe this was to preemptively make up for it?

"Sure." Virgil laid down and looked up at Patton.

"Thanks, Virge," he said with a slightly more real, relieved smile. "Let me tell you a story about six boys growing up in Florida."

***

Logan Crofters, Roman and Remus Ryan, Janus Pine, Emile Picani, and Patton Hart. They had been best friends since kindergarten. They were all inseparable. Things got worse in middle school when Roman came out as trans. His parents refused to let him transition or cut his hair, and the other kids were less than supportive. Remus let him wear his clothes, though, and his friends all defended him when they could. And they all survived until high school.

Fast foreward to sophmore year. Logan was on the fast track to becoming valedictorian. The other kids, in addition to whispering, "Fag," and, "Tranny," at them all in the halls, taunted Logan for his intelligence. Remus and Janus got into fights often to protect the others. Patton and Emile tried to keep the group's moral up. Logan and Roman always took it all harder than the others, but they had one teacher, Mr. Sanders, who let them eat lunch in his classroom and used Roman's proper pronouns. He even congratulated Patton and Remus when they started dating. He'd always pair up Janus and Emile for group projects, just to watch them flirt.

Patton, Roman, and Remus's parents passed around a petition to get him fired the next year. It was successful. That was the year everything fell apart.

Roman and Logan couldn't handle the pressure that came with the grades and the bullying. They always said they were fine, but....

One day, Logan quit his job at the library. Said it just wasn't worth it anymore. Roman stopped eating and always brushed his friends off when they begged him to try.

They died the same night. June 4, Roman's birthday. Roman overdosed on antidepressants. Janus, Remus, Emile, and Patton read his note over and over again.

Dear Friends,

I want to start by saying this isn't your fault. Remus, you were the most amazing, supportive brother anyone could ask for. Patton, Janus, Emile, Logan, you are all wonderful and perfect, and you all deserve the world. But.... I can't do this anymore. I can't live in this body one more day or hear someone call me Rachel one more time. I just can't do it. I love you all so much. Please don't dwell on this for too long. I want you all to be happy, okay?

Mom, Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't be everything you wanted me to be. I wish I could have been as good a son as Remus was. I wish you could have loved me as much as he did.

And, Mr. Sanders, if you ever see this.... Thank you. For everything.

Adeiu, best of friends and best of men,

Roman

Logan hung himself. He didn't leave a note. His parents at least gave him a funeral. Roman's parents didn't care enough to even do that.

Luckily, Remus, Janus, Emile, and Patton had saved enough from their various jobs to have him cremated. Emile's parents insisted on helping out, which helped a lot.

The group burried Roman's urn just outside the cemetery where Logan rested. Luckily, his grave was at the edge of the gate so Roman's could be near his. Remus painted a large rock to use as a marker. They all stood by the small grave, Janus holding Emile and Patton and Remus squeezing each other's hands, until the sun rose.

Patton stayed with Remus after Janus and Emile left.

"I can't stay here anymore," Remus had whispered. "I can't stay with the people who killed my brother."

"I know," Patton whispered. "I hate our parents." He brushed back his bangs to show Remus a black eye and a bruised cheek. "If we save enough, we'll run away together," he promised. "We'll get Janus and Emile, and we'll all go to Massachusetts, and we'll get married." Remus nodded.

"I like that." He gently pulled Patton close, and they shared a long, sweet kiss.

Things didn't work out. Senior year was worse. Janus, Emile, Patton, and Remus were the gays who were friends with the two who killed themselves, and that's all anyone ever treated them as. Janus's parents took him and moved to Delaware. He and Emile stayed in touch for a few months before the lost contact. Janus and Patton still talked occasionally, though, even after high school. Emile, Patton, and Remus stuck together, but things would never be the same.

When senior year ended, Patton and Emile prepared to move to Massachusetts, but Remus wouldn't go.

"Please," Patton begged. "We found a cute apartment in Salem. We can start over. We can get jobs while Emile is at school. We can build our own lives. Please come with us." Remus shook his head.

"I can't," he said. "It's only been a year since they died. I just can't leave them yet." Patton hugged him tightly.

"Keep in touch," he asked. Remus nodded and pressed a kiss to his lips.

Over the next few years, Patton kept in touch with Remus. Every year, he said he would finally move in with him, and every year, he had an excuse not to. Eventually, they stopped talking as much, and when Patton changed his number, he forgot to tell Remus.

***

"He and Emile stayed together, though," Patton finished. "Patton became Emile's receptionist when he started practicing independently."

"What about Janus and Remus," Virgil asked.

"Janus is still in Delaware, and I guess Remus is with him." Virgil nodded. He wasn't an idiot. He knew Patton had just told him his life story. He just wasn't going to press any further than that. Maybe someday, Patton would tell him more, but it was almost the day his friends killed themselves. Patton needed time.

***

The next day, Patton went back to work. Larry and Dot were happy to see him. When their appointment was almost over, another patient entered the waiting room and walked up to Patton's desk. "Hey," he said, head tilted down. His voice was low and familiar.

"Hi! Do you have an appointment?"

"N-no. I just moved here and was hoping I could set one up."

"Okay.... Dr. Picani is with a patient right now, but-- Remus?" Remus was staring at Patton, a sad frown accepting his dull eyes. "L-like I was saying, Emile--"

"Why didn't you answer my texts?" Patton began to fiddle with a pen. "You could have just said you didn't want to see me. I get it. I probably remind you of Ro and Logan, and that's fine. I failed you and I put off moving even though I said I would, and I understand that you're mad, and it's okay. But--"

"I wanted to see you." Remus stared at Patton, who stared right back.

"What?"

"I wanted to see you, but I couldn't say it. It's just so close to Roman's birthday, and I didn't know what to do or what to tell my son--"

"You have a son?" Patton nodded, tears in his eyes.

"I adopted him five years ago. His name is Virgil. He's funny, he's dark, and strange and sarcastic, and I love him more than anything."

"Boyfriend or husband?"

"Single dad and rockin' it." Remus laughed despite the tears that were escaping his eyes. Patton laughed with him, also crying. "I'm sorry. For everything," he sobbed. Remus took his hand.

"Me too." And that's how Larry and Dot found them five minutes later.

Holding hands and crying, together again.

--------------------------------------------------

[babysizedfics]

Shameful thing to come clean about- ive been too afraid to read LABD, cause I know I relate too much to baby virge, and I just read the first chapter... Suffice to say, it made me cry, I literally... I just couldn't distinguish between my own fantasy regression and baby Vee... You, dear Bee, have validated me and my regression so much 💛

:0 tearful babi... this is the cutest thing

and oh my gosh im sorry if i've spoiled some of the fic by talking abt it!!

we must be really similar because baby vee is based off of my regression, so you're definitely not alone in whatever you experience when you're small 💜

this really has made me cry a little i'm so happy that my writing could offer you some support - you know my messages are always open if you want a friend to talk to!