#I didn’t know what to do with the second part of Ki’s cabin so this was perfect 😤

[killuaisaprincess]

🧸🎄🧸🎄

[thran-duils]

Use All of Me (P.10)

Title: Use All Of Me (Part Ten) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Steve Rogers. The Avengers are heroes saving the world but in this AU, they are also permitted by the powers in charge to have less than favorable business underneath their guise of mere superheroes. Steve and Tony are at the helm, keeping their empire’s wealth in check, both devious and perilous if crossed. Steve takes a liking to the reader at a party and it may be her undoing to her autonomy choosing to go home with him. Words: 2,259 Warnings: Dark AF, angst, emotional/mental abuse, smut, breeding, death

Part Nine || Part Eleven || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

“I gotta run,” Natasha informed Wanda quietly, pulling her aside.

“Is there a problem?” Wanda asked concerned.

“Not yet.”

“Okay?” Wanda said, cocking an eyebrow.

Natasha was not going to give her anything else at the moment before she talked to Steve. “It’s fine. Don’t let Y/N worry about me being gone. Help her enjoy the party.”

“Alright,” Wanda responded, and Natasha nodded, before turning on her heel and walking off quickly to make sure to be out of the house before Y/N and Natalie emerged from the bathroom.

On her way out the door to her car, Natasha texted Steve.

I’m on my way to Tony’s. Don’t leave until I get there.

Is there something wrong?

Not immediate. I’ll be there soon.

<> <> <>

Natalie pulled away from you after a while – she had to have let you cry for a good few minutes – and wiped at your tears. “Here,” she said gently, leaving you to go towards the linen cupboard. She pulled out a washcloth and grabbed a small handful of toilet paper too. You thanked her, sniffling, wiping at your tears before using the tissue to blow your nose. You were sure you looked cute with snot hanging out there.

“Look. What can you do? Realistically?” Natalie asked you quietly.

Your shoulders slumped and you whispered, “Nothing.”

“No, not nothing, Y/N. You can hold your chin up,” Natalie told you, her fingers pushing your chin up as she spoke. She paused before asking, “Are you willing to leave the babies behind?”

Chewing on your bottom lip, you pondered for a few seconds. You ended up shaking your head. “I… I thought so when this first all started out. But how can I leave two babies behind? They would financially be well taken care of, yes. But… I just can’t,” you said breathing shakily. “I don’t know if I could live with myself.”

“Well, I was only asking because I wondered if you did… if you thought Steve would leave you be. Even if you ran off.”

You shook your head again, giving a humorless laugh. “No, I don’t think Steve would leave me be. Bryce said he didn’t think Steve would kill me if I ran away. Which to me insinuates he would hurt or kill anyone else who tried to help me. I am hard pressed to believe that he wouldn’t want to kill me though. He’s not a man to wound, especially emotionally. Everyone talks to me like I’m… his property. That I’m carrying his property too.”

Solemnly, Natalie told you, “Some people treat others that way. That’s obsession, not love.”

“Or they’re all just misogynistic fucks. I mean… Pepper even told me that she dealt with it with Tony! He threatened to shoot me a couple weeks ago, by the way.”

“Excuse me?” Natalie demanded, staring at you in absolute shock.

There was a sharp knock at the door.

“Y/N?” Miriam called from outside the door. “Are you alright?”

“Yes. I’ll be out in a second,” you called back. To Natalie, you whispered, “Shit, we have been in for a long while.”

Natalie grasped your shoulders, “You go out there. I’m going to go upstairs and pack you a bag.”

“What?” you asked flabbergasted.

“You heard me. My cousin has a cabin in New Hampshire. I’m going to take you there and then we can figure out what we are going to do next.”

“I—” you tried to argue but Natalie shushed you.

“Go out there. Be with them.”

“Natalie, I can’t,” you hissed, thinking of Wanda and Natasha out in the living room. “You just told me I didn’t have a plan! Plus, Tony’s got technology everywhere and Steve won’t let me go. Did you miss me saying he would ki—”

“If we leave during this party while everyone is distracted, Y/N, they won’t know which direction we went.”

“Your license plate—”

Natalie covered your mouth and said, “We need to stop arguing about this and just do it. I’m not going to leave here without you. It has to be now.”

She stared deep into your eyes, challenging you to argue with her. You knew you were not going to be able to convince her to drop this idea, not with the fire burning in her eyes.

When she knew you were not going to say anything more, her hand fell. You swallowed thickly and turned to the mirror, wiping at your eyes one more time. “Good thing we already took pictures,” you muttered before going to the door and throwing it open.

Miriam’s brow creased seeing Natalie in there with you but you looped arms with her before she could say anything. “Sorry, I just needed to get some stress out. Poor Natalie had to endure that.” You threw a look over your shoulder at Natalie who was slow to leave the bathroom, mouthing her a thanks.

Your heart was pounding in anticipation.

<> <> <>

Natalie waited until Miriam and Y/N were out of sight before turning and going towards the entrance hall to the stairs leading upstairs. Quietly, she made her way up the stairs and searched around the second floor, looking for their bedroom.

There was a note on a door handle she passed by and she hesitated.

Don’t open until after you open your gifts. Love you, Steve.

Curiosity got the better of her and she opened the door, thinking it was possibly their bedroom and Steve had left her something on their bed. Behind the door though laid the nursery. She swallowed sharply seeing balloons attached to the crib, no doubt a gift Steve had left in surprise for Y/N. It was oak grey, matching the dresser.

Quickly closing the door, Natalie continued on, trying to not think about the cameras that she was more than likely being filmed on right now and what Y/N had warned her about Steve’s wrath. Getting her friend to safety was more important than worrying about the what-ifs.

<> <> <>

Finding Natasha gone quelled your nausea slightly but not entirely. One less Avenger on the premises was cause for you to be more hopeful about Nataile’s rash plan working. Especially since Bryce was in the theater room, engrossed in a Michael Bay-esque film.

You grasped Yua’s arm as the group merged towards the patio where the cake was waiting and another few yard games. You asked her quietly, “You came with Natalie, right?”

“Mhm,” Yua affirmed, holding your arm back.

“When you two leave, I am going with you.”

“What?”

“Not so loud,” you whispered to her. “You just… if you don’t want to get involved, then get a ride home with Miriam. Please.”

“’Involved’? Y/N, what is going on?” Yua asked, stopping you and making you face her.

You leaned in and whispered, “I’m leaving. Natalie is taking me. She’s packing me a bag – hopefully getting herself some clothes too.” You were being vague, worrying still about the security cameras. “There is a lot of risk. Now, think about it. I need to go cut my cake and act normal.”

Without another word, you left her there, moving towards the table where the rest of the ladies were gushing over how beautiful the cake was.

<> <> <>

Steve was on Natasha as soon as she pulled up and got out of the car.

“Can we go inside?” she asked, staring up at him.

It did not seem like he wanted to wait because he rolled his eyes but stepped back and she moved around him, him on her heels.

“What happened?” Steve demanded as he followed her through the front door.

“Where’s Tony?”

“Why am I being dragged into this?” Tony drawled as she walked in from the hallway. He was on the couch in front of the flatscreen, arms sprawled along the back of the couch.

“Because it’s your man too.”

Tony was interested suddenly, sitting up straighter. Steve stood off to the side of the couch, waiting impatiently for Natasha to get to the point.

She met his eyes and asked seriously, “Has Bryce talked to you? About Y/N asking him for help to leave?”

Steve’s face pinched. “No,” he said sharply. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh boy,” Tony breathed out, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I heard her. Talking to her friend, Natalie, in the bathroom. I was outside and doing some rounds to get some air. Thought it was a little weird they were both in the bathroom. So, I got near the bushes and heard them talking about it. Y/N was going on about how she feels trapped—” Steve’s jaw clenched at this, not going unnoticed by Natasha. But she kept speaking anyway. “And how she wants it to work with you but doesn’t think you’ll ever let her breathe and have her own space. Said she knows Natalie warned her about you, but you were too sweet, and she didn’t care about the warning.”

Steve scoffed, hands coming to his hips. He sucked at his teeth, shaking his head.

“So, what about Bryce?” Tony asked impatiently.

“She said she asked Bryce to help her leave Steve,” Natasha explained. “And he wouldn’t help her and made her promise she wouldn’t try to leave. But it sounded like she had another plan. Something about taking a train and stealing someone’s ticket at the station so she wouldn’t be on camera at the ticket counter – presumably so you wouldn’t know where she was going. She said something outlandish about living at a church and taking them up on hospitality and working for them to make up for it. Which, Natalie to her credit, told her that was a dumb plan. And Y/N agreed. But she wanted Natalie in the bathroom with her to use her phone, again presumably, so you couldn’t see the search in her phone.” Natasha caught Steve’s eyes again and told him firmly, “When you said she was rattled when this all first started, she hasn’t settled, Steve. She’s a mess of nerves. And she definitely sounds like she’s willing to be impulsive and reckless about it.”

It was silent in the room, Steve’s fingers digging into his hips. His jaw was clenched so tightly Natasha thought of him cracking his teeth.

“That little, conniving bitch!” Steve growled, his hands falling to his sides and he began storming towards the hallway.

Natasha stepped in his path and he stopped, rearing up to glower at her, his fists clenched at his sides.

“Move, Nat,” Steve warned her in a dangerous voice.

“I came here specifically to tell you so you would not lose your shit in the middle of a party,” Natasha told Steve firmly. “So, can you do me a favor and respect that? Cool out and think?”

“I don’t think this warrants me cooling off and giving Y/N any sense of calm,” Steve returned, his voice rising. “She was going to leave me and take my children away from me, Nat!”

Tony chimed in from behind Steve, “I think the problem here is Bryce not telling you,” Steve craned his head to look back at him. Tony looked right pissed off, rivaling Steve. “Woman is hormonal, standing on shaky ground emotionally. Bryce has his head on right – or at least we thought he did. Him agreeing to not help her is working in his favor but he shouldn’t keep that shit to himself. He should have told you the moment it happened. Just making her promise to not do something isn’t going to do shit, especially if she’s promising him. What is he to her? Her bodyguard? Whoopee fucking doo.” Tony shook his head. “No, that’s fucked up. He had a duty to tell you.”

Steve’s cell phone rang interrupting the conversation, and he swore under his breath, pulling it out of his back pocket. He furrowed down at it before answering tightly, “Wanda?”

Natasha took a step closer, trying to hear her on the other end of the phone. Steve’s face fell for a moment, like the air had gotten kicked out of him.

He recovered quickly, demanding furiously, “What the hell do you mean she’s not there?”

Tony was standing now, at attention. He was watching Steve nervously, thinking of a super soldier losing his shit and breaking shit in his house.

“How long?” Steve shouted, losing his temper. He shook his head furiously and snarled, “Twenty minutes doesn’t give them long to get anywhere. And why were you doing dishes? Where the hell was Bryce—never mind. You know what. Just stay there. Have Bryce and the security check the grounds again.”

He hung up, holding his cell in his hands tightly. Steve was trembling with rage, his hand threatening to crush his phone. Tony and Natasha were silent, waiting for him to react. He breathed in deeply, over exaggerated, turning on his heel to walk towards the counter. He placed his phone down, gingerly despite his anger. His hands planted, his fingertips digging into the counter like he wanted to tear chunks off.

“If she is not there…” he trailed off. Exhaling, he closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. His hands came up behind his hand, trying to stop himself from breaking Tony’s countertop in half with his fist.

“The train stations,” Natasha suggested, keeping her voice steady.

A few more deep breaths and Steve had the calm about him to say, “Someone else needs to drive because I’ll probably rip that goddamn steering wheel off.”

~~~

Tags: @imsonick , @alexakeyloveloki, @kvzctam, @ironlady1993, @taintedgenre, @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @roxyfan14-blog 

[nemobookaholic]

FrostIron Part 2

Sorry for the delay @belligerentmistletoe there you go. Let me know what you think about the final.

As before, a short reminder, I don’t own any rights to the characters, they belong to Marvel (if it wasn’t obvious, but I have to say it anyway).

I’m willing to go on in writing this ship, if I get enough input. Cause those two idiots are that much alike, no chance they’ll have a harmonic relationship, hehehe. Yeah sorry I’m an evil writer. Anyway, I love them and putting them in unknown situations is fun. Please let me know if you have an idea for me to play with 🖤

It had been two weeks since the incident with Loki. Tony had managed to avoid him completely until today. A Team meeting was set by Steve and he wanted all of the Avengers to join.

The mechanic waited until the last minute to go upstairs. He had distracted himself with building a new suit. But his traitorous thoughts had returned to the god, as soon as he let focus slip for just a second.

What would he give for a drink!

Not even the fact that Pepper sat their relationship on pause, did bother him as much as those lips he almost had kissed without permission.

Maybe he should worry more about not being in a proper relationship right now?

“Boss, Mr. Rogers is asking for you,” Friday told him for the second time.

There weren't any excuses left, so finally he made his way upstairs to face the Team, to face Loki.

When Tony entered the room, he immediately cursed himself inwardly. The only place available to sit was to Loki's left.

What did he even think? He should have known that nobody wanted to sit next to him but Thor. And that the chances for Loki to get a place with only one person sitting next to him would be extraordinarily small.

Tony clenched his fists and took a seat next to the mischievous god, ignoring him completely. He stared at Steve instead, to signal him to start the meeting.

So Captain America started a boring lecture on the new members and to give them a chance. He talked about how the Avengers had to take over responsibility for damaged buildings and destruction they had done in the past.

Tony barely listened to him, he just watched his mouth moving, not willing to admit the feelings evolving inside of him.

With every second he got jumpier, his leg started trembling with his hands clutched to the armrest.

“Relax,” a soft voice said from his right. Tony finally had to look at Loki, who showed no sign of discomfort at all.

The tension eased off and Tony started to relax, his hands slid into his lap. Slowly he opened his fists and closed them again under the table. Repeating it like a ritual that would protect him from evil.

Suddenly he felt a hesitant touch to his arm. The mechanic froze. Loki, not stopped at this point must have felt encouraged, cause he shoved his hand into Tony’s and entangled their fingers.

“Tony, are you alright?” Steve asked him, as the shock was visible to his face.

“Sure, what should be wrong,” he replied.

“It’s just, you are unusually silent today,” several heads around the table nodded.

“Just tired. Haven’t been sleeping in days,” the mechanic said in defence. Loki squeezed his hand, as if he would exactly know what kept Tony up at night.

“Well okay, anyway, can I get your attention some longer?” Steve started to be a pain in the ass.

He lectured on, eying Tony now and then.

What if some of the others would notice they were holding hands?

Cold sweat ran down Tony’s back, the god next to him still entirely relaxed. It just wasn’t fair. He could feel Loki's attention on him like a rock on his shoulders. Even if none of the others seemed to care, heck they didn’t even look at him. Tony was the only centre of attention with his strange behaviour.

Loki giggled under his breath what gave Tony the feeling, the god was enjoying all this.

Tony cursed inwardly, referring to Loki with the worst curses he was able to imagine.

He didn’t know how, but Loki would have to pay for this.

***

The meeting turned out to be splendid fun. A bright smile was plastered onto the gods face, which irritated his team mates, made the mechanic grumble some more and his brother skeptical.

The sun couldn’t shine any brighter today.

“Brother I don’t hope you are up for something evil?” Thor took him aside.

“If I’d assure you that it won’t cause any harm, would I be allowed in some mischief?”

“Loki, your plans tend to attract chaos, so you'd better be careful. No matter what it is your restless mind set itself up to,” Thor warned him

“I promise,” Loki held his hands up in defence.

“You better keep your promise this time,” Thor said in a low voice, before he left.

Loki headed down the corridor, trying to catch up to the others. He had no intention to get lost in the building a second time. At the edge of the corner Tony’s voice forced him to slow down.

“It’s nothing,” he could hear the mechanic say.

“I thought we were beyond this point,” a second voice, that belonged to Colonel Rhodes, said. “Is it because Pepper put you on hold again? You can tell me.”

Stark sighed heavily, “Look…things are difficult at the moment. All I want right now is to numb my thoughts and build a new suit. Is that too much to ask for?”

“If that’s what you need, go for it. But remember to rest, that’s all I’m going to ask for. You're my friend Tony, I don’t enjoy seeing you like this.”

Loki overheard the conversation with some interest. He almost felt sorry for pushing Antony this hard. The god was still lingering behind the corner, when Tony turned it and bumped right into him.

“You!” the mechanic grumbled.

Loki showed an uncomfortable smile.

Tony seized him by the collar and shoved him against the wall. “What was that inside there?!” he spat out the words.

“I don’t know what you mean—haven’t you been the one who was going to ki…” Loki lost his breath, as Tony slammed him against the wall once more.

They heard steps heading towards them.

“Not out here,” Tony pressed through his teeth, indicating Loki to follow him, as he let go of his clothes.

They stepped into an elevator nearby. The god breathed out loudly. He had no good memory of his last conversation inside a lift.

There was no way doing get help again.

“I might need to apologise,” Loki muttered.

Tony just stared at the numbers passing by.

“Anthony?” he asked in a gentle voice.

The mechanic turned around to face him, with a fire to his eyes Loki almost misinterpreted. There was anger to it, but also fear, pain and desire?

He stepped closer towards Stark, lowering his head. Now it was his turn to shove him against the wall, his arms building a cage around the mechanic's body, leaving him no chance to escape. As if he could have gone anywhere at all.

Tony’s breath had accelerated, his system overheated causing a moment of madness between them.

As their lips collided, there was nothing but pure lust to it. A bestial hunger that consumed the whole air within the tiny cabin.

Tony freed himself first, only to commise Friday to stop the elevator. The mechanic's knees gave in, slowly he slid down to the ground. Loki followed, kneeling between Tony’s widely spread legs. Not willing to let go of him so soon.

“Anthony,” he said, his voice a sexy whisper.

Tony pulled him in again, grabbing for his shirt like he would drown.

They kissed, their tongues dancing to the melody of their fast paced hearts.

“Stop it! We can’t do this,” Tony pushed him away again.

“I’m confused. You seemed to enjoy it in the first place,” Loki leaned back at the other side of the lift.

“I’m not gay,” Tony said.

Loki laughed at the top of his lungs. “That’s your problem? You puny creatures and your vain ego’s.”

“It’s just…I can’t,” Tony tried again.

“And why is that? Your lives are already this short, so why don’t you allow yourself the pleasure of adultery?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Tony hesitated.

“Oh really? Would it be easier for you if I looked different?” Loki shifted his appearance into a well known female one, he was sure Tony would accept to copulate with.

“Jesus! No.” the mechanic protested at once.

“I thought she was your girlfriend? What’s the matter with that?”

“Yes, no. It’s complicated. It doesn’t help at all, if you’d look like her.”

“Fine,” Loki raised his hands in frustration. He wasn’t used to meeting with a rebuff. “I’ll tell you what’s complicated, humanity and their awkward look onto sexuality! As gender would make any difference to it!”

Tony was staring at the floor.

“I’m grievously disappointed in you Anthony. I thought you would be different.” Loki got up again. “Lady Friday, would you be so kind as to relieve us, please?”

The elevator was put into motion again and Loki pressed the button for Ground floor.

The god left as soon as the doors opened, leaving Stark to his thoughts.

***

Somehow Tony made his way back upstairs to his room. He found himself distressed and numb. Had he really had such strong desires towards Loki? How had he been able to ignore them for so long?

Still he was horny and just the thought of the god’s lips sent his blood downstairs.

Maybe that was the point why he couldn’t make out with Pepper any longer?

He pushed that thought far away, yet it came back at him like a boomerang. Had he been blind all those years? But even if he had been, why did it have to be Loki?

What was it that attracted him to a murderous god?

Tony was desperate.

For the first time in his life he had no idea on how to fix it.

“Show me what he’s doing,” he told Friday, as he sat down, fiddling on a part of the armour to keep his hands busy.

“I’m sorry to say Sir, but we’ve lost the signal,” she replied.

Tony had placed a tiny spy software to Loki’s apartment as he’d left last time. Just to check if the god would behave. But there was a possibility he might have used it for private purposes the last few weeks.

How could he have lost the signal? His technical gadgets never failed.

Loki must have found it.

Question was, for how long had he known about it?

That guy definitely was a trickster. Tony tore his hair out over thinking of Loki. The screwdriver in his hand slipped off and damaged a sensible part of the armour.

“Fuck!” Tony shouted, throwing the piece into a corner.

“May I assist you Sir?” Friday offered her help.

“No, I just need to sleep. I have been up for too long,” the mechanic answered. He took the secret corridor to his bedroom.

But as he laid down, his thoughts were dancing around today's events. Tony knew there was no way he could have a good night's rest, if he hadn’t at least talked it off.

Deep down in the darkest part of his brain, he knew Loki had been right. How could he, the great Tony Stark, shy away from the fulfilment to his desires?

If he was honest with himself, something he usually avoided, he wanted the god more than anything else.

“Friday, cancel everything for tonight, I’ll be having a night out.”

“Yes Sir.”

***

Loki was channel hopping, when a sudden knock on his door made him jump. He half expected, half hoped for Stark to show up, after he had destroyed the little spy. He turned off the TV and answered the door.

There he was, the man that had let him down only hours before.

Loki leaned in the doorframe, his arms crossed staring at Tony in silence.

“I guess I deserve this,” Tony was scratching his head, “may I be allowed to come in?”

Loki stepped aside, asking him in with a gesture of his hand. Stark entered the flat still unsure on how to begin.

“Look I’ve been an idiot, okay?” he started, “I-i have no idea on how to do this. Talking about my feelings isn’t something I’d do on a regular basis. And to be fair, that, whatever it is between us, isn’t something that happens to people every day.” The mechanic’s cheeks turned red, as he looked everywhere but at the god.

A smile flashed over Loki’s face, “so you’ve changed your mind?” he simply asked.

“I wouldn’t see it like that. Let’s say I’m here to find out, if it might possibly work between the two of us.” Tony wanted it to sound casual, but his voice gave his nervousness away.

“That’s enough for now,” Loki said, reaching out for Tony. The god grabbed the other man by the hand, guiding him into the bedroom.

The place was dominated by a tester bed that had dark green velvet curtains to its sides. The only comfort Loki allowed himself. The double sheets were of emerald green silk, accurately spread across the bed.

The god led Tony to one side of it, implying him to sit down. Loki recognised how Tony was biting his lips, so he let himself sink into the pillows, hugging the mechanic from behind. He breathed in the smell he had missed.

In a sudden second of recognition, he figured out what fruity scent it was he wondered about last time. It was blueberries.

Loki kissed Tony’s neck, tempting him with his hot tongue. Meanwhile Tony tried to unbutton his shirt with shaky fingers.

“Let me help you,” Loki offered, pressing his chest against Tony’s back, peeking over his shoulder. He opened the shirt and freed the mechanic from the fabric.

The god let his fingers wander up and down Anthony’s chest, finally resting at his nipples, waiting for permission to go on.

A moan of pleasure escaped Tony’s throat, which was approbation enough for Loki. He twisted and rubbed them between thumb and index finger.

“How does that feel?” he whispered into Tony’s ear.

“Odd,” the mechanic pressed the words through his teeth.

“Ah, so you’d never allowed yourself to take pleasure out of it? Let me show you the possibilities,” Loki smirked. The god leaned backwards, so Tony slid down into his lap.

The mechanic buried his face in his hands, while Loki let his tongue dance over the most sensitive steads on the other man's body.

“Anthony, show me your face,” Loki pulled Tony’s arms upward and fixed them over his head, holding them together with just one hand.

Tony had been this agitated, he hadn’t noticed the god was all over him by now. His long fingers hooked into the waistband, already opened it, pulling the trousers down.

“Wait,” the mechanic said, “don’t you get undressed?”

“Everything at it’s time. Always inpatient,” he chuckled. Loki leaned in, to kiss Tony. While he was distracted, the spell faded, showing the Asgardian god in all his glory.

The moment he let go of Tony, the mechanic gasped, “does that mean you were nude all the time?”

“Who knows?” Loki was clearly flirting with him.

Yet Tony knitted his brows together, aware of what had to happen next. The thought must have been written on his face as Loki answered it: “Don’t worry, I won’t do anything that will hurt you, or make you uncomfortable. Just let me know if we’ve reached your limit.”

“I don’t think I can…well you know…” he stuttered.

Loki nodded, “of course, I didn’t expect you to, the first time you laid down with another male.” He let go of his hands and sat up. “Would you like to take the active part then?”

“Show me,” the mechanic's eyes were overcast with lust.

***

They made love to each other all night long. Tony always had imagined himself a skilled lover. Turned out he was wrong. Loki had centuries of experience and he did things to him, Tony never had dreamed off, or thought them being possible at all.

By dawn he fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion. He curled up next to Loki, who didn’t seem to be tired at all.

Tony woke from the smell of coffee, arising next to him.

The god was leaning in the pillows, with his long legs crossed, reading a book absently sipping from his mug.

“My apologies, I didn’t intend to wake you,” Loki said the moment he realised the other man was looking at him. “I can go to the living room, you must be tired.”

“No, that’s okay,” Tony rubbed his eyes.

“Would you like a cup of coffee then?”

“Yes, please.”

The god got up, to get one for Tony. The mechanic stretched his body, it was only by now that he felt how physically demanding it had been, trying to keep up with Loki.

The moment he sat up leaning into the pillows, like Loki did moments before, the god came back handing him a steaming mug.

Tony was fascinated, on how the black dressing gown underlined the gods' tall, wiry figure. Memories of sweaty, hot nakedness flashed his mind. If he only had the energy to get up, he would have the god begging for mercy this time.

Sipping his coffee, he hid his face until Loki sat back to his former spot.

“So, what do you think about our arrangement? Is it something you would like to continue?” Loki asked.

“I’ve never experienced something similar…” Tony answered, his mind drifting off again. To Loki kneeling over him, doing things with his tongue while his fingers had reached regions of Tony’s body, he never had thought of touching himself. Yet it had caused immense pleasure.

“That mean?” Loki was eying him uneasy.

“I’ll have to join Pride month next time,” the mechanic whispered. He still wasn’t sure if it would work out well between them. Heck both of them were stubborn and proud and not used to letting people come close in any way.

“Maybe we should keep it a secret, until we both feel pleasant about whatever will evolve out of this night?” Loki suggested.

“Agreed,” Tony nodded. “So what next? Shall we have dates? Or do we visit each other for random quickies?”

“Relax Anthony. We could start on exchanging numbers?”

“You have a phone?” Stark looked at the god with big eyes.

“Of course I have. I’m not Thor, I know how to adapt myself. A friend showed me how to use it,” Loki tilted his head.

“Friend?” Tony couldn’t believe it.

“Yes, Anthony. Believe it or not, I have a friend. Her name is Verity.”

“Sorry, I guess I was just surprised at how fast you’ve made yourself at home.”

“I had to. There’s nothing else left to call a home.” Loki was staring at his feet.

Tony was patting his back, shifting uneasy. It was time for him to leave. Usually he would steal away in the middle of the night, maybe leaving a note that said ‘thank you’. He was far away from his comfort zone and needed time to process all this.

“Uhhm, so—I need to go back, a lot of work is waiting for me,” he lied.

Loki scribbled down his phone number for Tony. “See you at the next mission, I suppose?” Loki was raising an eyebrow.

“Probably. I mean it’s New York. Ancient gods try to destroy it all the time.”

“Hey! It was just one time.”

The two men looked at each other, bursting out with laughter.

As Tony stepped out the door, he felt this was the first time he really wanted it to work. Like he had found a kindred soul, and so thought Loki lying in his bed.

-Fin-

[writingsbychlo]

i dont know if you use tiktok a lot but theres this trend where girlfriends / wives walk in on their men playing video games or doing whatever buttass naked... how do you think dylan and his characters would react to that? (not fiming it for tiktok obviously)

you guys, I seriously had so much fun writing this.

Stiles

Sending another snap to the girls, you typed furiously at the screen, each of their bubbles lighting up at the bottom with speech bubbles as they all typed, equal sounds of irritation from all of them.

[Lyds 💋 - it’s saturday. there’s nothin goin on. whats he doin???]

[Alli  🏹 - if that was isaac he’d be begging for forgiveness by now.]

[Ki ⚡- you brought him lunch!!! and he didn’t even kiss you?]

[Me - he grunted a vague thx in my direction.]

[Lyds 💋 - unacceptable. we’re girls. we demand kisses. & equal pay.]

[Mal 🍕- u should get naked. stiles is weak to sex.]

[Me - that might acc work. he really is, it’s almost embarrassing.]

[Ki ⚡- omg, I rlly bet that would work.]

[Lyds 💋 - if he won’t give u attention, u have to take it. the only way.]

[Alli  🏹 - wait pls film his reaction. Isaac wants to laugh too.]

[Mal 🍕- I could use a laugh, I'm pretty bored too.]

You giggled at the idea, the girls blowing up the group chat as they encouraged you to do it, and you headed away to the bathroom, stripping your clothes down and folding them neatly, before slipping Stiles’ flannel up over your arms, holding it closed for modesty as you began the video.

You grinned into the mirror, before turning the video around and dropping the item to the ground so they could see it. Filming ahead of yourself, you took several steps forward, your hand on camera pushing open his door, and you called out to him.

He simply hummed in response, not even bothering to turn around, and you flipped him off behind his back, knowing Isaac and Allison would get a kick out of that part, before you sighed loudly. “Fine, I guess I’ll go be naked downstairs, then.”

“Wait, what?” The man spun around, the marker dropping from his lips as he finally tore his attention from the crime board before him, his eyes widening as he looked at you, his eyes scanning over you appreciatively and he let out some noise between a growl and a moan, before he finally met your eyes. “Are you filming me?”

He didn’t even give you a chance to reply, a smirk on his face as he paced across the room toward you, crushing the phone and your arms between you both as he backed you into the wall, his hands cupping your face so he could land his lips on yours in a hot kiss. Lifting your finger from the record button, you hit send, dropping the device to the floor and wrapping your arms around his neck.

Grunting into your mouth, his hands skimmed down to your thighs, scooping you up from the ground as the continual chimes of the group chat receiving messages faded into the background, your back meeting the mattress.

Stuart

You sighed, moving around the bathroom as quietly as you could. You knew Stuart was in a work call, he’d told you so himself. His group was doing some big project lately, and you were trying your best to stay out of his way as he worked.

You had run your bath, bubbled decorating the surface as the colours from the scented bath bomb swirled in the steaming water, the scents of berries and vanilla filling the room as you tied up your hair with the scrunchie from the counter. Catching sight of the back of the door you noticed the hooks hanging empty of towels, and you turned, glancing to the shelves, only to see them empty too.

You debated just leaving it, but you had no idea how much longer Stuart would be in this call, it had already been almost four hours and when you’d passed by your bedroom half an hour ago to run a bath, it hadn’t sounded like he was anywhere near finishing. You had already thrown your clothes into the hamper, and you knew all the fresh towels were in the basket in your bedroom.

Groaning, you peeped around the bathroom door, noting Stuart sitting up against the headboard, laptop balanced on his lap and he didn’t even look up to see you, earphones plugged in as he occasionally talked and added his say to the group, and you decided it was safe.

The bedroom as far colder than the bathroom, goosebumps running over your skin and your nipples hardening at the contrast, your feet soft on the carpet as you stayed out of view, bending over to dig through the basket, snatching two towels from the stack and standing straight, turning around. Stuart’s eyes were fixed on you, or more precisely, where you had been bent in half to gather your towels. Dragging his eyes up along your body, he looked like he was almost drooling, and he swallowed thickly, dark gaze meeting yours.

Holding his microphone to his lips, he cleared his throat, not even bothering to look back tot he screen as he mumbled an excuse to them all; “Uh.. yeah, sorry guys. I have to go.. do something. Bye.” Clicking ‘hang up’, he yanked his earbuds out, discarding the device and the wires to the desk as he stumbled over his feet toward you, your eyebrows raised, a sly grin on his face.

“So, I’m a something now.”

He groaned, his hands sitting on your bare waist as his fingertips dug into your flesh. “You’re absolutely everything, sweetheart.” With that, he spun you around, snatching the towel from your hands and pushing you back onto the bed.

Thomas

The buildings around paradise had certainly come a long way since the small fabric tents they had been in the beginning. Small huts had been crafted from wood, and soon stones had followed up on the walls, washed up on the beach and chipped from the rocks until cabins with real rooms and walls had started to be crafted.

When you had woken up, the bed had been cold, and muffled voices from the main room of your home disturbed your peace, making you stir in the sheets, rolling over with a quiet groan and shielding your eyes from the morning sun rays. Wrapping the thin sheet blanket around your body, you got to your feet, running a hand through your messy hair and shuffling from the room.

Thomas saw you first, his smile lighting up the second he saw you and the blond he was talking to paused in his chatting, turning around to greet you as you moved through the small home, fishing an apple from the bowl of fruit on your counter. Thomas wrapped an arm around your waist, tugging you into his side and placing a sweet kiss to your lips, bumping the tip of his nose against yours.

“Good morning, Tommy.” You teased, biting into your apple and wiping the edge of your mouth on the back of your hand to gather up the excess juice. “Mornin’ Newt.”

“Good morning, love. Sorry to interrupt your morning, I figured you both would have been up by now.” You blushed, Thomas smirking as he squeezed his arm around your waist tighter, the loud crunches of your apple being consumed sounded out as your boyfriend chuckled.

“We had a late night.”

You slapped at his chest, shaking your head as your cheeks heated up, and you peeled yourself away from his side, shaking your head at him fondly and leaning up to press a kiss to Newt’s cheek as you wandered on past, chucking the apple core into the small bin in the corner of the room as you left, and the boys picked their discussion back up. With a cheeky grin, you paused in your room as you looked at the bare bed, before a smirk took over on your face.

Sticking your head back out of the door to peep at your boyfriend, his eyes caught yours over Newt’s shoulders, a single brow raising as you winked at him, stepping out into the room to stand before him, Newt’s back still to you and he had no idea what was going on. You watched as your boyfriend’s jaw tightened, his eyes as wide as saucers when he watched you let go of the handful of material that was holding the cover-up wrapped around you. The fabric dropped to the ground, baring your nude body to him and you licked over your lips slowly, biting down on your bottom lip and disappearing into the bedroom as his jaw fell slack.

“Newt, I love you, man, but I need you to get out. Like, right now.”

Dave

Both you and Dave had decided to stay on campus for spring break. Your family wasn’t really expecting you home, and Dave’s mother and sister had gone to Disneyland for the break as a treat to Stella, and Dave really didn’t feel like spending two weeks surrounded by screaming children and standing in queues for hours on end.

Never when Dave had started college did he think he’d be this happy by his spring break. He’d started as a heartbroken freshman after Aubrey had dumped him weeks prior to his first-week beginning, and he certainly never expected to end up dating one of the hottest chicks he had ever seen, from the most popular sororities on campus.

The two of you had settled on hanging out in his dorm over spring break. His roommates were out, but a couple of the girls had also stayed behind, and so you wouldn’t quite have had the privacy at the house you did here. Dave was on his third day of lounging in his sweatpants and playing videogames. He had a pizza menu ready beside him, and his head popped up in your lap as you played with his slightly grown out hair, your phone buzzing in your hands every so often as you played with the hair under the band of his headset, running your fingernails over his scalp soothingly as he hummed under his breath at the feeling.

“Dave, I gotta’ go.” You spoke quietly as not to interrupt the flow of chatter going on that you could hear coming from the ears of his headphones, and you eased yourself out from under him, the boy groaning as he turned to look at you, brows raised as his focus left the shooting taking place on the tv screen.

“Where you goin’?”

You chuckled, shaking your head as you stood up from the bed, stretching out and brushing the wrinkles from your pyjamas. “I’m going out with some of the girls today, I’ll be back later.” He pouted, and you leaned down to press a kiss to his lips to placate him, a smile on his face when you pulled away.

“Okay, have fun. I’ll miss you.” You grinned, and you could hear the teasing coming from the other end of the headphones, excessive amounts of kissy-noises and declarations of love sounding out as Dave scoffed and told them all where to stick it, and you rooted around in the drawer he’d cleared for you to put your weeks worth of clothes in. Selecting the matching black set with the pretty yellow and white daisies on, you tossed it onto the bed, searching for a pair of shorts when Dave cleared his throat, his eyes wide as he held up the bikini bottoms from one finger, and he raised his brows. “What’s this?”

“It’s a bikini. It is spring break, we’re going to the beach.”

You shrugged, finding the shorts you wanted and pulling them from the drawer, and Dave hummed, clearing his throat and gripping the material tightly. “So, you’re going to be all wet, and half-naked, and tanning, and half-naked and did I mention wet?”

You laughed loudly at his words, and he shoved the headset down from his ears as the boys on the other end went wild, and you nodded, fishing the suncream from your bag and waving it at him teasingly. “I’ll be all moisturised and soft and shiny, too.”

“Fuck.” He mumbled, and you giggled, shaking your head and putting the bottle back in your bag, before peeling your shirt up over your head, dropping your sleep shorts to the floor and picking them up, a growl sounding beside you as Dave watched you, jaw slack. “Guys I’m tapping out, turns out I’m going to the beach.”

Within seconds he’d logged off, and he was tossing the controller and the headset away to the floor. “You’re coming to the beach?”

“Yeah, but first you’re cumming right here, at least twice, so get over here.” You shook your head at him, his body flopping back into the bed as you squealed, crawling up his body as your lips met his.

Mitch

Mitch was busy working, on all his important case files, hunched over his desk as he did his best to get through his jobs as quickly as possible. He’d finished his assignment three days early, and he was hoping that if he could get all the reports and briefs finished in time, that would give him a whole extra week of holiday off with you, a week he could spend cooking with you, and holding you, and fucking you senseless.

Unfortunately, since you hadn't been expecting him home, you had dinner plans with the girls and your dress was staring at him from across the room. A slim maroon number with spaghetti straps and a slit in the thigh, a pair of sleek black heels and a leather jacket to match. You were in the bathroom, and he had long since heard the hairdryer go off after your shower, and so he knew you were doing your makeup.

Around half an hour ago, your ringtone had snapped him out of his daze, and as much as he had tried to refocus, your sweet voice was muffled from the other side of the door but he could make out a few words, and he was still staring at the page on his computer, only four new lines having been added in thirty minutes. When the door finally clicked open, the smell of your perfume drifted out into the room, and Mitch’s mouth went dry as he looked up at you from his desk.

Your skin was shining and inviting, freshly moisturised and shaven, your hair falling in loose curls down your back, perfect spirals that bounced with each movement you made and your makeup was flawless. Your lips were painted a dark-red colour, the exact matching shade of your dress and it only made them look plumper and more inviting, and Mitch leaned back in his seat, legs splayed open as his cock twitched interestedly in his sweatpants, your naked body on full display for him as you held your phone to your ear and chatted away, unaware of the effect you were having on him.

Standing from his seat, he came up behind you as you fished through your drawer for some underwear, and he swiped your hair from your shoulder, pressing a kiss to your bare skin as his other hand came up to pluck the phone from your hands, lifting it to his own ear and ignoring the sounds of your complaints.

“She’s going to be thirty minutes late, sorry girls.”

Before you could protest, he’d hung up, a smirk on his face as he dropped the device tot he carpet and spun you around, planting his lips on yours and you sighed against his mouth, your arms slinging around his neck, giving in to the affections. His tongue teased at your lower lip, his own hands sliding down to palm at your ass in groping handfuls.

“Only thirty minutes then, huh?”

“Well, I’ve got to save the main event for when you get back, you only get a taste before you go out, because if I really got to have my way with you, there’s no way you’d be stable in heels. You wouldn’t be able to walk properly.” He hummed, pecking your lips and scooping you up under your thighs, your legs wrapping around his waist.

“Give me my sneak preview then, hotshot.”

Sam (1920′s)

With a grin, you wrapped the red coat tighter around your body, nerves flooding your body as you watched the familiar beaten up truck of the man you loved beginning to make the way down the pathway through the fields toward your shared home. Sam had been having a tough time lately, this week had been a struggle for him, and as Friday night had rolled around, you knew he was looking forward to a weekend of relaxing and resting up, resetting himself and de-stressing in hopes that the next working week would go better.

It wasn’t something girls of your century did, but Sam wasn’t from your century, and he’d always seemed particularly fond of when you were naked. It was a struggle for you at first, you weren’t used to the idea of being nude, you were raised to be a lady and you could never be seen in an undignified way, but everything had changed for you when you’d met Sam.

The large red coat he so often wore was hanging on your body, your hair in loose waves down your back from the style it had been held in all day, and you watched from the top window as Sam pulled up in front of the house, and you dashed around the room and lit candles, pouring out glasses of the special occasion wine you had deemed appropriate to crack open.

The door opened and closed, and you heard Sam kicking off his shoes, locking the front door and making his way upstairs. You met him at the top of the stairs, a soft smile etching onto his frowning features as he looked up at you, before his brows were furrowing as he looked at you, his eyes scanning along your body and you shuffled nervously under his gaze. “Hey, doll. You look as pretty as ever.”

He took the final steps up, placing a sweet kiss to your lips and you returned the gesture, before splaying a hand out on his chest and taking a step back. With a deep sigh, you grinned up at his as boldly as you could, before releasing the hand the was holding the coat closed and the material fell open, your body exposed to him and his breath hitched in his throat. “Prettier, now?”

“You’re naked.”

“Yeah, I thought you deserved a nice surprise.” He beamed up at you, looking happier than he had all week and he pushed the coat from your shoulders, groaning as it fell to the floor and he smoothed large hands over your hips, pulling you in close to him, his lips brushing yours.

“I’m so in love with you.”

“I also opened a bottle of wine.” You teased, and he groaned under his breath, dipping down to scoop you up bridal style as he carried you toward your room.

[talpup]

Light In the Darkness: 15

Please remember this fic is rated mature and has warnings of violence, abuse, sexual tension, eventual sexual behavior, and other possible triggers.

***If you prefer reading off AO3 here’s the link for that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20887595/chapters/54018274

Part II

Chapter 15

It was two weeks after the Magic Knights Entrance Exams and much to Yami’s chagrin Bronn’s hateful focus hadn’t moved on to the newest Black Bulls member. Sure the Vice Captain cuffed the new recruit on the back of the neck and gave the lad a hard time but Yami still got the brunt of it all. He supposed it was a good thing. Yami doubted the young Possession Mage could’ve handled more abuse. Fresh from his Grimoire Acceptance Ceremony, Bran was small even for a boy of fifteen and far too polite and unsure of himself to survive much of anything in Yami’s eyes. Which meant only one thing. The boy needed toughening up.

“Uh. Mister Yami. Sir.” Bran panted stopping in front of him as he entered the dining hall.

“It’s just Yami, boy.” Tobin called from his seat at the table.

“Let the boy speak.” Yami hushed liking the sound of ‘mister’ before his name.

“What would you like on your plate, sir?” Bran questioned.

Yami looked at the other members of the Black Bulls seated around the dining table wondering what was going on.

Venice and Tobin laughed while Teris and Abril appeared none too pleased. Gendry, as usual, seem oblivious to it all.

“Bran has been told of the house rule that all first year recruits cater to their senior members during their chore week of cooking.” Olsen informed smiling.

That explained Abril and Teris’ ill humor, neither liked to see the small getting picked on. Toyed with, that was well and good, but picked on was a completely different matter.

Yami was tempted to give the boy his order, till he saw Teris watching him and thought better of it. She had been somewhat distant of late, going out with Venice and not inviting him. His birthday was in two days and he didn’t want to do anything the further their separation. Before her slight withdrawal from him, Yami had hoped to get his first kiss from her as a birthday present to himself. It had been a year since they had met, nearly destroying the arena and killing everyone in it when they had battled during their own Entrance Exams, he thought he had been more then patient in denying or being interrupted from having a taste of her lips.

Yami grabbed the plate from Bran and told. “They’re having one over on you kid.”

“Come on Yami!” Tobin complained. “The least you could’ve done was wait till he got me seconds.”

“You’re no fun.” Olsen remarked shaking his head.

Without a word of apology Yami made for the serving table. Seeing burnt bacon and biscuits he cried. “Who cooked?”

Chewing Tobin answered. “The kid.”

Yami looked at Abril. “Wasn’t it your week to cook?”

Abril gave a guilty glance at Bran.

“And you had the nerve to look offended at the others making him serve.” Yami accused.

“Shame Abril.” Tobin scolded. “Taking advantage of the new recruit. Bran. Serve yourself and come sit by me. I’ll protect you from these sharks.”

“Weren’t you just complaining that Yami ruined your tricking Bran into fetching you a second serving?” Olsen remarked.

“Shut up.” Tobin snapped. “It was your idea.”

Olsen laughed. “I know. I’m brilliant.”

Teris watched Yami as he served. Venice leaned over and whispered. “Are we going out perusing again today?”

Teris nodded.

“Have any clearer idea what you want to get him?” Venice questioned.

Teris shook her head. It wasn’t that Yami was difficult to please. He’d likely be happy that she remembered his birthday let alone gone through the trouble of getting him a gift. But this was the first time she would celebrate his birth with him, last years having gone by with little fanfare as they were simply trying to survive Greywright’s training. This would also be the first thing she would ever get for him. It had to be perfect.

Yami took his usual place across from Teris and stared.

“What?” Teris asked cocking her head slightly.

“Nothing.” Yami said wondering why he had taught her how to read and dampen her Ki. Now, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get a clear reading of her, if he could read her at all.

She returned to her breakfast.

“What are you doing today?” Yami asked picking up a charred piece of bacon and letting it drop back onto his plate in disgust.

“Unless a mission comes up. Going to Castle City with Venice.” Teris answered.

“Can I come?”

“To Castle City? Why?” Teris asked.

“Why not. You’ll be there.” Yami watched her carefully wondering if it was something he had done. Or maybe something he hadn’t done. Why were girls so difficult. Couldn’t she just tell him? He’d apologized. They’d move on. Things would go back to normal. He didn’t like it when she pulled away from him.

“Don’t you have a new beast to train?” Teris reminded.

“Mooshu.” Yami smiled thinking of the long haired mess that he had saved from a boar trap. After her subdued behavior as he had nursed her back to health Mooshu had surprised him by reverting back to her wild aggression once released into the training pen.

“Ungrateful creature.” Yami muttered. Looking at Teris he said. “You keep saying you’re going to let me introduce you to her.”

Teris pushed away her plate. “I know. Maybe tomorrow.”

“What about today?” Yami tried. “Before we had out to Castle City. Pilfer misses you.” So do I, he thought.

“Not this time, Yami. Sorry.” Teris’ heart broke to see the confused disappointment in his eyes. “But I’ll go out to the pens with you tomorrow to visit Pilfer and meet Mooshu. I promise.”

Yami held her gaze a moment before looking down at his food as he moved it about the plate with a fork. The stuff wasn’t even worthy of feeding his wolves.

“That reminds me.” Tobin said putting a hand on Bran’s back. “You have to feed the beasts in the pens outside.”

“No he doesn’t.” Yami rumbled. He leaned forward so he and Bran could see each other over Tobin. “You don’t go near the pens without unless I take you.” He looked at Tobin making a noise. “What do you want? To see the kid ripped to shreds and eaten.

“I never would’ve of let him do it.” Tobin assured. “I just wanted to see boys reaction.”

“That was cruel.” Venice said shaking her head.

“Too far.” Olsen agreed. “I don’t even go near those things.”

“It was a joke.” Tobin persisted.

“I don’t remember you all giving Yami and I such a hard time when we first arrived.” Teris commented.

“That’s because you two were imposing. Olsen said. “In a good way, my lovely. Well, mostly good.”

“Imposing?” Teris questioned. “After what happened at the Entrance Exam and all that followed I was scared out of my wits.”

“And so were we.” Venice said looking at her. “Of the both of you and what you might inadvertently do to us if we messed with you.”

“Nearly destroying part of a city, possibly killing countless people, and wrecking the dining hall has it’s perks.” Tobin said giving her a nod. “That, and after the beating this one got from Bronn his second night here.” He said jutting a chin at Yami. “We figured it’d be best to let you two be.”

“I guess our difficulties were good for something.” Teris said giving Yami a small smile.

“They were good for more than that.” Yami told her. “They brought us together. Made us inseparable.

“Well, I wouldn’t say inseparable. Venice countered. “You two don’t bathe, sleep, or poo together.”

“You should be grateful for that, Teris.” Tobin told her. “I’ve had the unlucky displeasure of entering the stall after that one and let me tell you. Somethings the nose can’t forget no matter how hard it tries.”

“You’re weak.” Yami said almost proudly as he looked at Tobin out of the corner of his eye.

“Speaking of--”

“Shit?” Venice asked smiling playfully at Olsen.

“ --bathing.” Olsen went on dryly. “Did anyone ever find out why Captain Mereoleona didn’t host her usual excursion to the Lava Springs after the Star Awards?”

“Her what?” Teris asked.

“No.” Venice answered Olsen. To Teris she said. “Ever since Mereoleona became Captain of the Crimson Lions she’s hosted a massive multi-squad trip to an active volcano the day after the Star Awards.”

“Sounds like fun.” Teris enthused sarcastically.

“Oh, it’s hell getting up there,” Venice admitted. “But once you reach the top and nightfall's, the lava stops and a hot springs is revealed.”

“So you and Yami may eventually add bathing to your list of inseparable activities. Tobin teased grinning at Yami as he elbowed him in the ribs.

Yami stared at his friend unamused.

“The bathing is separate. Olsen hushed. “Though last time, I believe a couple boys got caught trying to look over to the girls side. Maybe that’s why there wasn’t one this time.”

“And after the springs we’d trek back down the mountain, a lot easier without the lava and all.” Venice added. “I don’t know who the house belongs to but it sure is nice.”

“Sounds like you’re talking about the Vermilion's Summer Cabin,” Teris said.

“You call that place a cabin?” Abril blinked. “Just when I nearly forgot you’re a royal you say something like that.”

“So you have been up to the springs,” Tobin said.

“At night.” Teris nodded. “Never traveled up there during the day. That’s when the volcano’s active.” She turned to Venice. “What’d you all do at the cabin?”

“A party of course,” Venice said. “Food--”

“Lots of food,” Olsen nodded.

“--and games. It didn’t end till everyone fell asleep.”

“Everyone slept at the Vermilion's cabin?” Teris inquired doubtfully. The place might’ve be overly large to be called a cabin but it certainly didn’t have enough bedrooms, let alone beds, for a full squad of Magic Knights never mind multiple.

Venice nodded. “Yeah. We pretty much slept wherever we found or fell.”

“Boys and girls together?” Teris questioned glancing at Yami.

“Oh, the Captains were always around and made their presence felt.” Olsen assured. “Not to mention the upstairs, where I can only assume the bedrooms are, was cordoned off.

“And if you got caught trying to seek off upstairs, like this one couple did once--” Venice audibly blew out her cheeks, eyes wide.

“And was this again?” Yami asked.

Tobin smiled. “Interested in adding bathing and sleeping together to your list of--”

“Stop talking before I make you.” Yami warned.

Tobin’s words died on his lips.

“For the two years I’ve gone it’s been the day after the Star Awards Festival,” Venice answered.

“Always been then since she started doing it.” Olsen put in. “I wonder why she didn’t do it this year.”

“What are you looser talking about?” Bronn asked entering.

“The yearly trip to the Lava Springs,” Venice called.

“Do you know why Captain Leona didn’t host one this year?” Olsen questioned the Vice Captain.

“Who knows why that She-Lion does or doesn’t do anything,” Bronn said. “Who burned breakfast!”

Gendry lifted an arm pointing down at Abril’s head.

“I didn’t burn nothing.” Abril said giving Gendry a shove.

“Well it’s your week to cook so who else could’ve done it?” Bronn accused. “Did little people sneak in while you were stacking the plates and burn it all for you?”

“No.” Abril snipped. “Bran did.”

“Bran snuck into the kitchen while your back was turned and burnt the food?” Bronn questioned in disbelief.

“No,” Abril said. “Bran did the cooking.”

Bronn eyed her sternly. “Having a bit of fun with the new recruit are you.”

“Just a bit,” Abril admitted. “It’s not like I told him it was his job to serve our plates or tend to Yami’s beasts.”

Bronn smirked in amusement as he scanned the usual suspects. “Who told the kid that?”

Olsen and Tobin pointed at each other.

Bronn huffed. “I wouldn’t mind my breakfast being served and brought to me.”

“Right!” Olsen agreed.

“But not this kindling.” Bronn tossed the serving spoon back down. “Well. I guess I’ll surprise Gilly by bringing some sweet breads to our date later this afternoon. Anyone want a come with me to Castle City? You can’t hang around me, mind.”

“Who’d want to,’ Abril muttered.

“I heard that.” Bronn snapped.

“We’ll go.” Venice said jumping up.

“If you don’t mind.” Teris said wiping her hands before taking her and Venice’s plates to the cleaning station where she scrapped the remaining food into the slop bucket and stacked the plates.

As much as Yami wanted to join them, no matter what Teris had said, he had to tend to Pilfer and Mooshu. Pilfer had reached a point where he could be trusted around others. Gendry had gladly looked after the Saber Wolf on occasion. But Mooshu was a ways from that, and even if he asked Gendry to leave her in her pen and simply toss her food in, it would only derail whatever trust he had earned from her. Maybe in a week or so that would change, but for now he had to be the one looking after Mooshu.

Yami watched Teris as she and Venice followed Bronn through the gateway without a glance back at him.

“What did you do this time?” Olsen asked as the portal closed.

Yami glared at him.

“I mean Teris hasn’t ignored you like that since the night of the Star Awards when she found out you lied to her.” Olsen went on.

“She’s not ignoring me and I didn’t lie to her.” Yami grumbled.

“You kinda did and it kinda looks like she is.” Olsen challenged.

Yami stood and made his way to the side door that led down half a level to the kitchens.

“You forgot to clear your area.” Olsen called after him pointing at the untouched plate Yami had served.

“That’s what new recruits are for.” Yami shot back before disappearing down the stairs/.

Olsen turned to Bran. “You heard him.”

15.2

Nozel’s younger sister was in Castle City for some three day long, young noble ladies activity and, despite the Silver Eagles base not being in Castle City, his father had commanded him to take a day to escort her around. Though the Silva’s, like the Vermilion's had a residence on the royals grounds beside the Kings own castle, until of she had received her grimoire, Nebra was not allow off the castle grounds without escort.

“Might we go into that shop on the corner,” Nebra asked. “Lady Neyres had the most lovely gloves on yesterday and said she got them from there.”

“Neyres was at this suction?” Nozel questioned looking down at his sister. Though he hadn’t seen the fellow royal or Margery, for that matter, the last couple of days he had thought nothing of it; he was just grateful to the blessed silence and their absence, especially where Margery was concerned.

“Of course,” Nebra giggled. “She is a royal. All royal and noble young ladies were invited. Expected, in fact.”

Nozel looked down at her a moment then away. Careful to keep his tone conversational he asked. “Did you see Teris there?”

“No.” Nebra shook her head. “And father had encouraged me to speak with her.”

“Why?” Nozel wondered certain he knew. No doubt Nebra was expected to give their father a full report of Nozel’s own activities and behavior as well.

Nebra shrugged a shoulder. “I suppose because she will one day be my sister-in-law.” She looked up at her brother. “I know you will do whatever father commands but how do you feel about eventually wedding the Lady Teris?”

Mindful of his tone and expression Nozel responded. “I don’t feel anything about it.”

“How can that be?”

“Our families have intended for us to wed since I was Noelle’s age,” he said. The mention of his youngest sister’s age reminded him that it also been four years since their mother’s death birthing the good for nothing child. He slowly blinked away the painful memory. “I suppose you could say I don’t remember a time when Teris wasn’t intended to be my bride.”

“But she’s so--”

Nozel looked sternly down at her. “What?”

“Unorthodoxed.” Nebra said carefully. “Take this event for instance. I already told you all the royal and noble ladies were invited but what I didn’t say was that this was Lady Teris’ third year being absent.”

“And?”

“And,” Nebra stressed, “if you don’t show for three years in a row you are dropped from the Young Ladies Social and Finishing League.”

Nozel blinked at the name of the group wondering a moment who had come up the thing.

“It is the dream of every young lady to receive their acceptance letter into the league on their tenth birthday,” Nebra went on. “I remember the fuss I made in the weeks leading up to the first meeting I would attend at my area Chapter.”

“Lady Teris is hardly a giddy ten year old,” Nozel reminded.

“No, but she is a royal lady of sixteen who’s name has now been stricken from the Leagues ledgers and barred from any and all League activities and functions, including Chapter meetings,” Nebra informed. “It’s unheard of. Up until her nineteenth birthday, even Lady Mereoleona attended this annual event every two years so she wouldn’t be dropped from the rolls.”

Nozel realized why his father had encouraged Nebra to speak with Teris at the event. It was more then simply keeping tabs on her activities and behavior. Nozel had no doubt that Lord Silva was much more aware of the politics surrounding how the noble women functioned themselves and that Teris had been in jeopardy of being cast out.

“Teris is a Magic Knight.” Nozel said at length. “Those duties far precede that of some ladies league.”

“But there were lots of royal and noble ladies present who are Magic Knights,” Nebra told.

“It’s possible there was a mission making her absence unavoidable.”

“Unavoidable or not the League won’t rescind their decision,” Nebra said.

“It doesn’t matter what your League does.” Nozel said opening the door to the shop she had asked to visit. “Upholding the honor and duty of being a Magic Knight will cover any blot this strickening might cause.”

If she’s on a mission, Nebra thought entering the boutique.

“Teris,” Venice whined. “We’ve looked at nearly every store in Castle City. If you can’t find something for him here you won’t find it anywhere.”

“Come on, Venice. Think of it as a mission,” Teris cajoled. “Besides, I thought you loved shopping.”

“For myself,” Venice clarified. “Not burly, mopping boys who are easy to please where you’re concerned. Want to make him happy? Spend the day with him. Even just a few minutes will do, bad as he has it for you. You know he thinks you’re mad at him.”

“Stop it.” Teris hushed blushing.

“I mean, did you see his face when you told him he couldn’t come? My heart just about broke for him.” Venice went on as she picked up ridicule looking it over.

Yami’s light brown eyes filled with questioning disappointment replayed in her mind giving Teris pause. She shook her head. “He’ll get over it. I just have to find him the perfect gift.”

“I suppose she was on a mission. Of sorts.” Nebra breathed softly as her brother allowed the closed the door behind them.

Nozel cursed his acquiescence to his sisters request certain that everything she heard and continued to hear would be relayed to their father. He was wondering how to go about getting her out of the shop without being overly obvious about what he was trying to do when the store attendant greeted them. “Welcome. Looking for anything in particular or just wanting to browse?”

Nebra began telling the woman what she was looking for while Nozel stayed by the door listening to Teris and Venice.

“What about that pen?” Venice asked pointing.

“What’s Yami going to do with a pen?” Teris bitingly asked.

“Write you love letters.” Venice teased.

The right side of Nozel’s jaw muscles began to spasm in complaint of his clenched teeth. As if there had been much doubt to begin with, he thought sullenly. She’s looking for a gift of that foreigner.

“Venice this is serious.” Teris told. “His birthday is in two days. If I don’t find the perfect gift today I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Go shopping tomorrow.” Venice shrugged setting down to purse wondering when she’d have need to carry such a fancy bag.

“I can’t,” Teris said. “I already promised him that I’d visit Pilfer and meet Mooshu.”

“That won’t take all day.” Venice said picking and holding up a hair clasp, looking at herself in a mirror. “I don’t know why you bother pretending to like those creatures when you can barely tolerate his human friend, Jack”

Teris gave a disgusted shiver. “Please don’t say that creeps name.”

“It’s not as if Yami’s interest in you is dependent on your interest in his creatures.” Venice turned to her still holding the beret to her hair. “Do you think this brings out the color of my eyes?”

“I don’t pretend to like Pilfer,” Teris said. “He’s a good Saber Wolf.” She picked up a different clasp and held it out to her friend. “Try this one.”

“Good at eating moderately large creatures in a single sitting and slobbering everywhere.” Venice said taking the beret and turning to the mirror. “I guess I can see why you don’t have to pretend to like it. It’s not all that different from Yami.”

“Funny.” Teris said her tone and expression making it obvious it she found it otherwise.

“I swear if he comes in one more time tracking mud, grim, and that things slimy drool all over the clean floor on my mop week...”

“You actually mop on your mop week?” Teris asked in surprise.

“Yeah.” Venice answered slowly. “Don’t you?”

Teris shook her head. “I don’t think anyone does.”

“You mean I’ve been the only one cleaning those floors?” Venice exclaimed. “No wonder they’re filthy by the time my week comes around. And here I thought we lived with a pack of pigs.”

“That’s still a high possibility given Bronn, Tobin, and Abril,” Teris said.

“Mother of all mana,” Venice cursed. “I’m gonna have a word with everyone when we return. You can count on--”

“And how are you ladies getting on?” The stores Clerk asked her smile a bit forced. “Still doing alright? Sure I can’t assist you with anything?”

Venice turned prepared to tell the woman that if she was needed they would call her when she saw Nozel standing in the doorway. “Mother of--”

“I got it!” Teris enthused oblivious of the Clerk or Venice’s curse. She rushed to the back counter. Grabbing a quill she began to draw on a piece of paper, slapping the bell for assistance.

“I guess you can be of assistance.” Venice smiled tightly at the Clerk still eyeing Nozel.

A Leather Smith passed through the doorway that led from a workshop behind and waited.

Teris finished scribbling and turned the paper to the Smith saying a few words. Nozel watched them go back a forth a bit before the Smith took the quill from Teris and drew on the paper. He turned the sheet to her and she looked it over appearing more pleased than before. They conversed further before the Smith wrote up a slip with her order and passed it to her. Teris said a few more words before turning.

“Venice! I--” Teris fell silent upon seeing Nozel. Her eyes widened wondering just how long he had been there. She tried to recall what she and Venice had said and then got angry at herself for worrying. Teris made her way to her friend and Nozel but was halted a few steps short by yet another surprise.

“Lady Teris.” Nebra greeted making her way to her brother from the side counter. “If this isn’t a pleasant surprise.”

“A surprise indeed,” Teris said. “What brings you to Castle City Nebra?”

“The Annual Young Ladies Social and Finishing League function of course,” Nebra said. “I must say many, including myself, were sorry to see you missed it.”

“I’ve been busy.” Teris said not caring about the younger girls judgment laced comment.

“So it would appear,” Nebra smiled. “A birthday gift. Forgive me. I couldn’t help but overhear.”

Teris glanced at Nozel knowing he had heard enough. “Please give the ladies of the League my regards. Teris told Nebra. “I will leave you to your shopping.”

“Oh, but I’m done,” Nebra smiled. “I hope you don’t mind brother but I had them send you the bill. You know how father can be about my purchases. And isn’t nearly time for our luncheon with Lord Fuegoleon and Lady Mereoleona. Why don’t you and your friend join us?” She finished turning to Teris.

Seeing this as her chance to question the Crimson Lions Captain about the Lava Springs bash Venice, without thinking, said. “I could eat.”

Teris turned slowly to her friend. “What?”

Realizing she had put her friend in an unwanted position Venice nevertheless doubled down saying. “You ordered your gift and, despite my admit arguments against it, you and Nozel are speaking again.”

Nebra looked at her brother. “She makes it sound as if you and Teris had a falling out.”

Nozel eyes slid down to his sister. “Don’t be silly, Nebra.”

“Yami--” Teris began.

“Yami lied,” Venice reminded. “He made us all play down his injuries so he could get you to speak to Nozel again. Don’t ask me why.” She breathed under her breath.

Nozel blinked eyes snapped to Venice. The foreigner had been telling the truth that night, Nozel thought in wonder. Why would he do such a thing? It couldn’t simply be for the reasons he had claimed. No one was that confident or stupid.

“What’s done it done.” Teris said grating once again at the thought of Yami’s deception.

“So you should be fine joining your fellow royals for lunch,” Venice said. “Come on.” She whined when Teris merely stared at her. “I wanna ask Mereoleona about the Lava Springs.”

“That’s what this is about?” Teris asked in disbelief.

“Please!”

“Venice.”

“Yes, Teris.” Venice said in her sweetest voice as she batted her eyes innocently at her friend.

Teris growled a sigh and shook her head. She turned to the female Clerk pointing to the hair clasp Venice still held. “Add that to my bill. I’ll pay for it when the belt is delivered on the seventeenth.”

“Of course Lady Nova.” The Clerk nodded. “Thank you for your patronage. Lord and Lady Silva. Thank you. Please come again.”

“A belt!” Venice said as she followed Teris through the door Nozel held for them. “After weeks of fretting and countless shops. You get him a belt.”

Nozel ground his teeth forcing himself to take a calming breath. He turned as Nebra passed and asked out of curiosity and desire to silence Venice’s talk of the foreigner. “Where’s your purchase?”

Nebra held up her hands wiggling her fingers. “I’m wearing it silly.”

“Are those the gloves you saw Neyres wearing?” He asked as the four of them made their way down the sidewalk.

“Not the exact same.” Nebra said noticing how her brother made certain he was beside Teris and walked to the right of her shielding her from the street. From behind the older royals Nebra went on. “That would be embarrassing for the both of us. But I am pleased.”

“Good,” Nozel replied. They walked down the block in silence before asked, loud enough for Teris to hear but not the others. “It’s been a while since we’ve last spoken.”

“A month at most.” Teris put in.

Nearly two Nozel thought. “How are you?” He asked fighting the urge to look at her.

“Same as I ever was. And you?”

“Hopeful of a promotion.” Nozel said trying not to sound overly boastful even though his intention was to impress her.

“And what are you ranked now?” Teris asked even though she knew. “Junior Magic Knight Second Class?”

“First,” Nozel told.

“So this would make you an Intermediate Magic Knight and so soon after your first year.”

Nozel fought down the smile that threatened at her mildly impressed tone.

“I wish you the best of luck,” she said.

Nozel turned.

“Don’t look so surprised.” Teris said giving a huffing laugh. “I’ve never wished you ill. Well. After your unprovoked attack, that turns out nearly killed Yami by the way, I did a lot more than wish you ill but we’re past that. Aren’t we?”

“I would hope so.” Nozel said wishing he had channeled just a little more mana into the attack and been rid of the foreigner for good. “But I feel I must say.” He looked at her and sighed. “That was a rough day for all of us. Tensions were high and--”

“Nozel. Don’t.”

He paused glancing uncomfortably away at her stern expression praying he hadn’t messed things up and made her mad at him all over again.

“Don’t bring up what’s been buried.” Teris said her tone almost pleading. “It’s done. We’re fine.”

“I’m glad.” Nozel said giving her a small, hesitant smile. “As friends we should be able to work through anything.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Teris said. “Friends.” She shook her head giving a small somewhat forced chuckle of amusement. “And people say you don’t have a sense of humor.” She patted his shoulder. “You’re funny Nozel.”

Nozel didn’t know what was more painful, her words or the absence of her touch as she let her hand slide off him. Unable to look at her, he gathered himself and asked. “What would you call us--”

“And we thought we would have to wait.” Mereoleona called upon seeing them. She slapped her brother on the back. “I told you we should come straight here.”

“That would have made them early and us on time.” Fuegoleon said looking back at her.

“Leon. Manners. A gentleman never keeps a lady waiting. And Nozel has brought three of them. What a pleasant surprise.” Mereoleona moved to Teris giving her a hug. “I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“I know.” Teris smiled returning the hug.

“It’s been a week.” Fuegoleon told watching the two of them.

“Nine days. But who’s counting,” Teris said.

“You. Obviously.” Nozel said looking at her coolly.

“Venice,” Mereoleona smiled patting the girl on the head. “It’s good to see you as well. We could’ve used your mirror magic on our last mission. Right Leon?”

“We managed just fine.” Fuegoleon said, his pride not letting him admit that another squads member would have been helpful.

“And Nebra,” Mereoleona smiled. “Aren’t you growing up fast. Shall we go inside and sit.”

Seated and ordered Mereoleona asked. “So, how did you two girls enjoy the Ladies League bash?”

“Immensely.” Nebra answered from her brothers right. She looked over to Teris who was seated to on Nozel’s left.

Mereoleona took her cousins silence as displeasure of the events goings on. “I know.” She said to Teris. “Having to go to such things was never my cup of tea either. Most girls can’t wait till their tenth birthday to be accepted into the League. I couldn’t wait till my twentieth to be done with it all. Always found it funny how a gathering of supposedly polite young ladies can, and usually was, anything but polite.”

“I didn’t go,” Teris told.

“I’ve been there too,” Mereoleona nodded. “Skipped two years out of every three.” She held up a finger. “Don’t get any ideas, your father or Fyntch wouldn’t approve.”

“This was my third absence.” Teris informed the realization of what she had done hitting her in full. Not that she would have done anything different.

“Oh,” Mereoleona blinked. Recovering she said. “And I thought myself a fearless rebel of expectation. You’re putting me to shame. Was Fyntch aware? What am I saying. Of course your brother wasn’t. He would have likely left your father to drag you to the Leagues event. Was Julius? No. I’m wrong again. That man is too focused on making sure his dream of getting to the top of the Magic Knights is achieved to pay care to such things.” She crossed her arms and sat back shaking her head.

Teris could hardly look the Crimson Lions Captain in the eye out of fear and shame.

“What are we going to do with you girl?”

“I don’t know,” Teris mumbled.

“Well,” Mereoleona sighed smacking the table with a palm. “It can’t be helped now. The Mistress’ of the League are an unforgiving bunch. Even if you had been on a mission, or your death bed for that matter, they wouldn’t retract your strickening.”

“I don’t want s retraction.” Teris told softly barely managing to glance at Mereoleona.

“You say that now,” Mereoleona said. “Look at you. You can’t even look at me. How are you going to fair when faced with your Lord Father and Fyntch? You’ll be singing a different tune when next you see them I’m telling you now.” Mereoleona watched her wondering how the girl could be so fierce and yet so fragile. She wanted and hoped for the best for her young cousin, having felt a comradery with her since the first time she had seen an eight year old Teris refuse to sit side saddle while on a hunt. But, only time would tell if she grew up to be her own person and a force to be reckoned with or broken into subservience by her brother, Fyntch, and marriage into the Silva family. “Let me know if Fyntch goes too hard on you. I’ll do what I can to soften the blow.”

“You don’t have to do that, Leona,” Teris said.

“You’re right. I don’t. And it’ll likely cause me a bit of trouble in doing so,” Mereoleona admitted. “But you bucked the system and did your own thing. And that has earned my respect.”

Their food arrived and with it, Teris thanked, a change in subject.

“I hear you’re close to a promotion.” Mereoleona said looking at Nozel.

“That is my hope.” Nozel affirmed.

The Crimson Lions Captain looked at her brother. “Better step it up Leon. Your rival’s about to out rank you.”

“I’m not that far from a promotion myself,” Fuegoleon told.

“Not as close as he is.” Mereoleona teased. “Then again, Teris has you both beat as she’s closer yet.”

The two boys looked at Teris in surprise.

“Isn’t that so.” Mereoleona smiled, the famously pointed Vermilion incisors glinting in the light.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Nozel asked feeling a fool for his boasting, then wondering if that had been her intention.

Teris shrugged ill at easy under Nozel’s intense gaze. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to make a deal of it.”

“But you’ll be stepping up to Intermediate Magic Knight.” Mereoleona said picking up her drink as if in toast. “Kind of a big deal.”

“It’s not like I’d be stepping up to be Knights Commander,” Teris said.

“No.” Mereoleona laughed choking on her plum juice. “You’ve got quite a ways to go for that promotion. And I think Greywright would have a thing or two to say about it since he shows no signs of stepping down.”

“It’s funny how you and Yami get the same promotions at the same time.” Venice said then shrugged. “But I guess that’s to be expected since you two are always going out and getting into trouble together.”

Teris could have ground Venice’s foot into the floor under the table if she had been seated beside her. Instead she was stuck between Nozel and Fuegoleon and Venice tucked safely between the two Crimson Lions. If only Fuegoleon hadn’t been such a gentleman and pulled Venice’s chair out, or Nozel for that matter having pulling at chair out for her when Nebra had already claimed the space between him and Mereoleona.

“You should be thankful.” Mereoleona told Venice. “By all appearances, it’s because of them that the Black Bulls are doing so well.”

“They’ll still be ranked last.” Fuegoleon huffed. He looked to Teris. “What possessed you to choose to join the Black Bulls when you have such dreams as becoming Knights Commander eludes me to this day.”

“It’s because if she manages to become a candidate for the role having come from such a squad there’s nothing anyone could do.” Mereoleona said, kindly not finishing with, to take it from her. “Am I right?”

Teris gave a small nod.

“You think no one understands you,” Mereoleona said. “But I do.”

Yami understands me, Teris thought. Maybe that was why she was so drawn to him. He knew who she was and accepted her as that person without showing the faintest hint in wanting to steer or change her.

Having an idea Mereoleona turned to Nozel. “Promise me something.”

“If I am able.” Nozel said blue eyes flicking up to her.

“At the next Silva, Nova gathering when they invariably try to coerced Teris into meeting their expectations and do their will. Do or say something on her behalf. If you’re going to be her husband she’s going need your support and protection. Unless you plan on attempting to break her spirit. So, why get some much needed practice and start now with this one thing. I can all but guarantee you that doing so will earn you earn trust and goodwill. Neither of those unwanted things in a marriage.”

The thought of speaking against his father scared him but not half as much as the thought of Teris finally showing some goodwill and trust enticed him. Nozel inclined his head.

Teris watched Mereoleona in disbelief. Hadn’t her cousin just announced that she understood her? Before she could find her voice to rebut such a thing Venice spoke.

“Speaking of gatherings. What happened to this years trip to the Lava Springs?” Venice asked none to subtlety changing the subject. “And will there be one next year?”

Mereoleona darkened as she recalled seeing Bronn at the Star Awards with his arm wrapped around a girl. She had later learned the girl was a Healing Mage named Gilly and that the two had in fact been on a date, and were still dating.

Thankful for the change in subject Teris left her rebuttal unsaid adding. “Venice, Olsen, and Tobin were talking about it at breakfast this morning. I can’t believe Uncle Leonidas lets you use your family's summer cabin to host what sounded like a pretty rowdy Magic Knights party.”

Mereoleona forced the image of Bronn with another girl out of her mind and nodded. “It can get rather rowdy. But as long as none of you kiddies go upstairs or get into his liquor stores, father doesn’t mind.” To Venice she said. “You enjoy fighting up the volcano. Do you?”

“I enjoyed the hot springs and party after,” Venice said.

Mereoleona laughed.

“Will there be one next year?” Venice asked again.

Mereoleona thought of her jealousy towards Gilly and anger at Bronn which had been the reasons she hadn’t called the gathering; which was always last minute even though it had turned into an annual event. She forced another toothy smile. “Just try to stop it,” she said.

Thank you to those who have left hearts.  And a VERY special thank you to those who have left comments or re-blogged.  They really mean a lot.

Taglist: @captncappuccino 

[inyournightmares97]

My Youth (Chapter 6)

Broken and miserable, Park Jinyoung returns to his hometown to learn that no matter how hard he falls, there are still people who think he’s a hero.

Warnings: Mentions of suicide/depression, death, angst, slow build, maybe some language.(Please don’t ask when I’ll update. Wait until the series is finished to read if you’re impatient.)

Word Count: 5.7k+

(Can’t put links to the other parts here, please check my Masterlist/the reblog for the Prologue and Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5)

“-Mom, I’m busy,” Jinyoung muttered into the phone. He had been sitting in a crucial meeting with the Finance Director of GOT Tech and representatives of the Financial Regulatory Board. Receiving approval for his company to go public was one of the most critical and risky steps in Jinyoung’s career.

His mother, however, had been calling him constantly for the last twenty minutes.

Mrs. Park sounded upset. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung, dear. I just needed to reach you-”

“Mom, I’m in an extremely important meeting right now. Do you know how it looks when the Managing Director of GOT Group keeps getting calls from his mother during business meetings? What do you want from me?” Jinyoung demanded in a frustrated whisper, running his fingers through his hair. He tried not to let his agitation show on his face; the other high-profile attendees of the meeting could still see him through the glass wall of the conference room.

“Jinyoung, there’s been a terrible tragedy in town,” his mother began nervously. “I don’t… I don’t know how to tell you this, but i suppose there’s no easy way to talk about a death.  Remember I told you that I’ve been going to the hospital every day to meet-”

Jinyoung felt a burst of irritation. The clock was ticking. The Board members were waiting for him impatiently and he could see the disapproval on their faces. “Mom, did you call me to tell me that someone died?”

“Well… yes, but-”

“Mom, I have been preparing for this presentation for months. The future of my company depends on this meeting. This is absolutely the worst time you could have chosen to tell me something like this,” Jinyoung muttered through gritted teeth. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. “Please don’t mess up my focus right now. We can talk about this later. Do you need anything from me urgently?”

Mrs. Park hesitated. “You always seem to be busy these days. I just thought… if we could maybe help out with the funeral expenses or the hospital bills…”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. “Mom, you can just call my secretary for that. She’ll send you whatever amount you need. Send them flowers from me or something, okay? I have to go now.”

“Take care, Jinyoung, dear-”

“Bye, Mom.”

Jinyoung hung up and sighed, pressing his fingers to his temple. His personal secretary had followed him out of the room and was watching him nervously. He hadn’t even asked his mother who it was that had passed away. Was it somebody he knew? Maybe it was best that he didn’t think about it too much for now.

“Take my Mom’s call and ask her who died, send them money for the funeral and all those formalities,” Jinyoung told his secretary shortly. She nodded and made a note of it on her phone quickly while Jinyoung cleared his mind.

Focus. The presentation. The numbers.  

Jinyoung took a deep, calming breath and plastered a rehearsed smile on his face before he turned to enter the conference room once more.

“I’m so sorry to keep you gentlemen waiting,” Jinyoung greeted all the well-dressed men with a bright smile. “I hope you can forgive me. Mothers seem to have a knack for calling at the most inconvenient times, don’t they?”

The men chuckled politely. “That’s perfectly fine, Mr. Park.”

“May I begin the presentation?”

“Please, do.”

--------

Jinyoung believed that to achieve something great, you needed to make certain sacrifices.

He had always known that the path he was embarking upon was not an easy one. Establishing your own business meant that you didn't get off work at 5 pm sharp, you couldn’t spend your weekends at a countryside cabin or getting drinks with your friends. You needed to keep working until things got done. You needed to compete in the market. You needed to be strong enough to pick up after your losses and clever enough to make friends in the right places. People were depending on you.

Jinyoung hadn’t merely chosen a career, he had chosen a life.

A very lonely life.

Whenever his mother would call him and try to have a casual chat, Jinyoung would find himself irritated. Who cared whether Mrs. Lee from the grocery store was giving a discount on strawberry bread? What did it matter if Mr. Cha had been trying to sell his little farmland? There was important work to be done. Jinyoung needed to talk to the advertising agents to make sure his products were being launched properly, he needed to negotiate discounts with suppliers to ensure he could meet the planned pricing goals. There were employees relying on him. There were investors who had trusted him with their money. There were quarterly goals that had to be met.

Every second of Jinyoung’s time was precious. Why couldn’t everyone understand that? Why couldn’t his mother stop thinking that her tiny little world in this tiny little town was everything, and understand the importance of what her son was doing?

There are a limited number of hours every man has at his disposal. We each make a conscious choice regarding how to spend each one.

It was only now, standing in front of your mother’s grave, that Jinyoung came a terrifying realization.

He had made the wrong choices.

------

“It was heart failure,” Mrs. Park whispered.

Jinyoung’s hands clutched the cup of tea firmly. It was hot and uncomfortable, but not more than the sick feeling in his stomach. Every word his mother spoke made him feel more pathetic.

What had he been doing all those months while your mother was in hospital and when she’d died? Preparing for his company to go public? Sitting in meetings and sucking up to corporate officials? Only to be fired and thrown out of the company. Only to have missed the death of somebody who had trusted him and cared for him.

“But she couldn’t have been that old…” Jinyoung muttered.

Mrs. Park shook her head softly. “She’d always had a weak heart, Jinyoung. Her health was fragile and after her husband passed away she had no choice but to work to support her daughter. All those long hours and late nights for years… they took their toll in the end. She had her first stroke three years ago. She was in hospital for a few weeks and then she had the second one; the one that took her life.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes, remembering your mother in his mind’s eye.

“She always looked tired. And worried.”

“She was.” Mrs. Park reached out and placed a hand over her son’s nervously. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung. I should have told you about it sooner. But you were always so busy in Seoul, always doing important things. It never seemed like the right time to tell you about something so devastating. It’s my fault.”

Jinyoung let out a small scoff. “Don’t take the blame on yourself. That doesn’t help me.”

Mrs. Park looked upset. “Jinyoung-”

She was interrupted by a loud knocking at the front door. Jinyoung closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temple while he listened to his father go to the door and yell at the person on the other side. The reporters had already found his home address. They had started arriving one-by-one since this morning. Each of them desperately wanted an interview with Park Jinyoung, the man who had lost his empire overnight. They wanted to know what he had to say about his dismissal from his own company.

Mr. Park re-entered the living room and sighed. “They’re getting more persistent. I think I should call the local police before they start trying to shove their way into our house.”

Jinyoung nodded and stood up. “I’ll go down to the police station myself and ask them to send someone to deal with this harrassment. Mom, you’ve told everyone we know to deny any reporters who request them for an interview, right?”

“Yes, but is it really a good idea for you to be going outside now-”

“I think I’ll lose my mind if I stay indoors,” Jinyoung muttered. He grabbed the black hoodie that was slung over the back of the sofa and glanced at his parents. They were both looking at him with wide, worried eyes.

Jinyoung felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over him; why should they have to deal with so much because of his mistakes? Why was he always the one taking and yet never giving?

“I’m sorry,” he apologized softly. “I’ll try and be back for dinner.”

------

Jinyoung’s legs carried him naturally towards the elementary school.

Perhaps it was a subconscious urge to see you, even though he had no idea what he would say if you really appeared before him. Anything Jinyoung could have said to help should have been said three years ago. Words like I’m sorry seemed like an insensitive joke at this point; too little and far too late.

Jinyoung sat silently on the bench by the schoolyard with his face covered by his dark hoodie, and wondered how his life had brought him to this point.

Left with nothing with shame.

“Ahjussi!”

By the time Jinyoung looked up, there was already a tiny figure running straight towards him at full speed. He flinched and braced himself for the impact; only to have the small boy stop centimetres away from him and throw his arms around him happily. Jinyoung stiffened.

“What-”

“Ahjussi, you are Park Jinyoung!” Ki-woo cried delightedly. The boy was beaming. Jinyoung noticed for the first time that one of his front teeth was missing, but it was still one of the brightest smiles he had ever seen. “Miss told me yesterday! Why did you lie and say you weren't? I can’t believe the King of the Playground walked me home after school and I didn’t even know!”

Jinyoung couldn’t resist a small smile. The sight of the little boy bouncing on his feet warmed him for a moment and he patted Ki-woo on the head. “If somebody asked Clark Kent if he was Superman, he wouldn’t say yes, now would he?”

Ki-woo’s eyes widened in understanding. “Wow. That’s so true! You’re so cool!”

“You’ll have to keep my secret.”

“Of course I will! Ahjussi, can you tell me how you did it? How did you manage to climb the oak tree?” Ki-woo demanded, grabbing Jinyoung’s arm and tugging on it eagerly. “You have to tell me, you just have to! Were you really tall?”

Jinyoung blinked. “Tall? Not particularly…”

“Then how? How did you do it?”

Jinyoung opened his mouth to respond but he was cut off by a loud yell. He had been so preoccupied with Ki-woo that he hadn’t noticed the much larger man that was making his way across the school yard. Jackson Wang had a huge smile on his face and without greeting, he threw his arms around Jinyoung in a fierce hug.

“Park Jinyoung! Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence!” Jackson cried happily. He pulled back and noticed the blank look on Jinyoung’s face. With a frown, he pointed to himself eagerly. “Remember me? Jackson! Jackson Wang! You used to pass me all the answers in History class!”

Jinyoung swallowed. “Uh…”

“Mr. Wang, you’re friends with Park Jinyoung?” Ki-woo asked, his mouth gaping open.

Jackson blinked and looked down at the boy sheepishly. “Ah, Ki-woo. I didn’t see you down there. Didn’t your teacher tell you to wait inside until someone came to pick you up? Go back indoors now.”

Ki-woo pouted. “But-”

“Nope. Back inside. Now.”

Jackson waited until Ki-woo began to slouch back towards the school building and then turned back to Jinyoung. “Man, you’re pretty much the celebrity around these parts now, eh? We had a couple of reporters come by the school this morning, asking for anyone who used to know you. You have nothing to worry about! I scared them off. These babies aren’t here for nothing,” Jackson beamed and flexed his bare bicep.

Jinyoung didn’t really know how to respond. “Nice.”

Jackson narrowed his eyes. “You do remember me, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course-”

“We should get drinks sometime and catch up now that you’re back in town! Man, I really owe you. You did me a solid one that Christmas before you left, remember? I’ll buy you a couple of beers at the pub. What’s your phone number?” Jackson demanded.

“I don’t really have a phone right now…”

“Don’t have a phone?” Jackson looked confused. “Weird but okay. I guess I can always ask Miss First Grade to get in touch with you. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me you were back in town!” he cried, slapping Jinyoung’s arm playfully. “Hold on… you’re here to see her, aren’t you?”

Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Not exactly…”

Jackson chuckled knowingly. “No worries, man. I’ve got your back. I need to go inside and take care of the kids now, so I’ll tell her to come out and meet you here, yeah? Let me know if any more of those reporters come around. I’ll take handle them for you!”

Jinyoung forced a smile. “Thanks-”

“No problem, man. It’s what friends are for. We’ll catch up soon!”

“Sure.”

Jinyoung watched Jackson half-run back to the school building, letting out a sigh of relief. Each person he came across in this town seemed to remember something about him and the one who possessed the most dangerous knowledge was Jackson Wang. In addition to having been the resident supplier of inappropriate magazines and the one who’d convinced Jinyoung to try his first cigarette behind the park back in high school, Jackson simply knew a little too much about everybody.

Jinyoung sat down on the bench and took a deep breath. He just realized that Jackson had said he would send you out to meet him. Why hadn’t he told him not to? He wasn’t prepared to face you. Idiot.

It was a few minutes before you emerged from the school building and walked towards Jinyoung. There was a pleasant smile on your face as you approached, and it made Jinyoung’s stomach turn. How could you smile at him like that? How could you be so calm about everything?

“Jinyoung,” you greeted him, confused. “Should you be roaming around out here? There are reporters buzzing all around town.”

Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Uh. Yeah, I know. Jackson said he drove them away...”

You rolled your eyes. “That idiot Jackson Wang? He was fully prepared to seize his five minutes of fame by telling them how you used to help him cheat in History class. I had to step in and force him to deny the request for an interview,” you muttered. Jinyoung’s eyes widened and you gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I sent a message to the principal of the middle school and the high school. Nobody’s going to give any interviews about you.”

Jinyoung felt small.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“Did they find your house?”

“Yeah. They’ve been knocking the door all day. It’s really starting to bother Mom and Dad.”

Your expression was sympathetic. “Should I call the police?”

“Don’t worry. I was going to go down to the station myself and ask them to send someone to get rid of the reporters,” Jinyoung reassured you. He felt his heartbeat thump wildly as he looked at your gently smiling face. Should he say it? Should he talk about the elephant in the room? Even though he hadn’t prepared what to say?

“About… about last night…”

You blinked. “Yeah?”

He sighed. “About your mother. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I know that’s no excuse, but I should have been there and-”

You cut him off with a forced smile. “Jinyoung. It’s okay. It’s not like you could have done anything for her even if you were here, you’re not a doctor. Everyone did the best they could.”

Jinyoung swallowed. “I might not have been able to help her. But… I should have been there for you.”

The smile dropped from your face. What could you say? Jinyoung’s eyes were filled with shame but it wasn’t the right time for him to be offering condolences. That time had long passed.

But you still remembered his words from last night as he’d hugged you. I don’t feel as alone when I’m here. Jinyoung had been through so much. How could you say anything to such a broken man except for it’s okay? How could you offer him anything but comfort when he had nobody but you?

How could you not be the bigger person when he was suffering?

“It’s fine, Jinyoung,” you promised him softly. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“How can I not-”

“Seriously. Please. It’s in the past and nobody was to blame. It happened around the time your company was going public, so I can only imagine how chaotic your life and work must have been back then. I don’t resent you.”

Jinyoung looked up at you in disbelief. “How can you not?”

“I just… don’t. It’s fine.”

“Do you really mean that? Do you really mean that?” he demanded.

“I do,” you insisted firmly. You glanced at your watch and sighed. “Wow, it’s getting late. We have a PTA fundraiser at school tonight so I need to start setting up. Oh! Did you bring my bicycle by any chance?” you asked him hopefully.

Jinyoung shook his head. “Uh, no. The reporters were in front of my house so I slipped out through the back…”

“Can you drop it by the school later? I’m going to staying back pretty late because I have to wrap up after the event is over. It might even take till midnight and the buses stop running at 9 so I need a way to get home. It’s not too much trouble, is it?”

“No, that’s fine. I’ll drop it off here later.”

You gave him a small smile as you turned to go back indoors. “Bye, Jinyoung.”

“Bye.”

---------------------------

The PTA fundraiser left you drained of energy.

You would much rather have dealt with a hundred kids at once than with a handful of parents. At least kids could be made to see reason, they could be convinced with a little bit of logic (however flawed). Adults, on the other hand, believed that they knew best and that things had to be done exactly the way they wanted. Adults were unreasonable. Adults liked to throw around their authority.

You had never wanted to get into bed so badly.

You stayed back late to clean up after the fundraiser was over. It wasn’t required of you, but it was something that you somehow ended up volunteering to do. All the other teachers had families to go home to and kids to take care of. You only had an empty apartment.

Asking them to stay back instead of you felt selfish.

You slung your bag over your shoulder and trudged out into the parking lot to see that the bicycle racks were empty. Shit. Had Jinyoung forgotten to leave the bicycle behind for you? Where was he?

You pulled out your cell phone and then sighed. Damn Park Jinyoung. He didn’t even have a stupid phone. It was far past the time that Mr. and Mrs. Park would have gone to bed and you didn't want to wake them by calling them. But your apartment was too far to walk and you would have to pass by the pub; you had no interest in meeting the town’s drunkards alone in those narrow alleys  at midnight.

You sighed and dialled another number.

“Jackson, hey. I’m so sorry, I know you just left a little while ago, but…”

-------------------

It was 1am when you heard a loud banging on your front door.

You had just finished taking a shower and were getting ready to slip into bed when the noise began. Your heartbeat racing, you grabbed hold of a kitchen knife quickly and then slowly approached your door.

“Who’s there?” you yelled out, voice shaking.

The voice that replied was muffled. “Jinyoung!”

Jinyoung? At this time of night?

You opened the door carefully. The first thing that hit you was the awful smell; Jinyoung stank of sweat and cheap beer. His eyes were red and his face flushed as he looked at you almost wildly.

“Are you okay?” he demanded, grabbing your shoulders to look at you properly. His hands were trembling and he seemed unaware of how loud his voice was. “Are you all right? I was looking for you everywhere!”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Wow, you’re drunk.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry- I’m so, so, sorry-”

“How about you come inside before you bring my neighbours running over with all of your noise?” you snapped. You had little patience for drunks, and knowing that Jinyoung had been out getting drunk instead of returning your bicycle did not please you. “Where have you been?”

Jinyoung stared at you helplessly, his arms waving around as he spoke. “I-I was just going to get one drink, I swear. But it led to another and I totally forgot about your bike and I was so scared that you might have walked home because I know that path passes by the pub and it’s not safe-”

“Relax,” you told Jinyoung as you guided him gently towards your couch. “I didn't walk. I called Jackson, he drove me home.”

“Jackson? Wang? Why? Are you guys close?” he asked, plopping down heavily on the couch.

You shrugged. “He’s a good friend.”

Jinyoung paused for a moment and then hung his head quietly.

“We used to be good friends.”

You looked down at Jinyoung properly. He was a wreck. His dark hair was a tangled mess and the light blue dress shirt he was wearing was wrinkled with a beer stain on it. There were even large sweat stains under his arms; he’d probably cycled all the way here in a panic.

And he’s one of the Most Eligible Bachelors under 40. If only the magazine had seen him like this.

“We’re still friends,” you told him lightly. “Although it wouldn’t do any harm to return my bicycle when I ask for it. Do you want a glass of water?”

Jinyoung blinked at you dazedly. “Do you have beer?”

“Absolutely not. Haven’t you had enough?”

His lower lip pouted slightly as he stared down at the floor. “I’ve been drinking all evening but I haven’t reached the point where I feel good or forget about my problems yet. In fact, I keep thinking about them even more. How about a cigarette?”

“You will not smoke in my house,” you told him with a firm glare.

To your surprise, Jinyoung suddenly smiled. It was only a gentle curve of his lips but you spotted it and frowned at him with your arms folded across your chest. “Are you feeling proud of yourself right now? Do you think your behaviour is something to laugh about?” you demanded.

Jinyoung looked up at you softly. “No.”

“Then why are you-”

“Because this is the first time you’ve given me that look since I came back,” Jinyoung admitted quietly. His voice trembled. “This is the first time you got angry at me. You don’t seem to get angry at me anymore.”

You didn’t understand. “Why would you want me to be angry at you-”

“Because you have to be angry with someone before you can forgive them. You have to first admit that they hurt you or that they did something wrong, and only then can you begin to repair your relationship,” Jinyoung whispered. He looked up at you and you could see the tears brimming in his eyes. “So tell me honestly. Have you forgiven me already?”

You swallowed. “I was never mad at you to begin with-”

“You’re lying.”

You clenched your fists as your heartbeat thudded. “I’m not lying. You’re drunk. You should drink some water and you can sleep on the couch-”

Jinyoung looked up at you, his eyes bloodshot yet surprisingly clear. “You are lying. Either you’re lying or you’re not the same girl I remember.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because the girl I knew wouldn’t have pretended to forgive a friend to spare his feelings. She would have grabbed me by the shirt, looked me in the eye, and said Park Jinyoung, you’re an absolute bastard for leaving me here when I was having a hard time. She wouldn’t have spared my feelings. She would have expected me to be there for her because that’s what friends do. They count on each other.”

You closed your eyes. How had Jinyoung seen right through you? Even after 10 years, how could he see through you like you were made of glass?

“I’m not angry,” you tried to tell him slowly, even though you weren’t sure who you were convincing anymore. “Because I never expected you to be there. You were busy and I had no expectations-”

Jinyoung scoffed. “You’re lying again.”

“I’m not-”

“You are. Friendship is when you help someone, because you trust that they would do the same for you. What you’re doing for me isn’t friendship. You don’t trust me anymore. If you have no expectations from me, then that’s charity!” Jinyoung spat out. Tears were brimming in his eyes and his voice was choked. “Is that what I am to you? Charity?”

You clenched your fists and let out a small, humourless laugh. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”

“What?”

“Where the fuck do you get off accusing me of treating you like charity? After what you did?” you snapped.

Jinyoung stared at you blankly. “Tell me.”

Your throat closed up. You didn’t want to talk about it. You didn’t want to drag yourself back to what had been the lowest point of your life, especially not in front of Jinyoung. You didn’t know who he was to you anymore. How could you open up to him?

“I can’t,” you muttered. “I don’t want to talk about it, Jinyoung.”

“Please,” Jinyoung whispered. “Please. At least tell me I was a terrible friend for not being there. Tell me I was a terrible friend for not even knowing about your mother.”

You took a deep breath and sat down, your knees feeling weak. You had never imagined that you would have to sit next to Jinyoung and say these words to him while he was drunk. Yet, as his dark eyes pierced into yours, he looked more sober than ever.

“It was my fault she died,” you whispered, shakily. “I know how hard my Mom worked to raise me. I know how much she struggled after my Dad passed away. The doctor told me her heart attack was probably caused by stress- years of it. She was growing old but she’d never even gone for a health check-up because we couldn’t afford it.”

Jinyoung stared at you silently.

“I needed someone to say this to back then,” you admitted quietly. “I needed someone who would listen to me and who wouldn’t try to convince me that it wasn’t my fault or that I didn't do anything wrong. That’s what everyone kept doing. They kept trying to comfort me but I just wanted someone who would listen. I wanted you,” you mumbled.

Jinyoung only nodded. His hands reached out to take both of yours. He grasped them tightly.

“I knew you were busy, but I always had this hope that maybe you would come to the funeral,” you whispered. “I thought… surely, whatever I did to make you cut me off, it wasn’t so bad that you wouldn't even turn up to my mother’s funeral. But the truth was that I couldn’t grieve properly because the hospital was hounding me about the bills, I…”

You took a deep breath. You hated thinking about those moments. You had felt so helpless and alone, backed into a corner. “I don’t think it even sank in that my mother was dead until a few days later,” you mumbled. “ I spent the first day wondering how the hell I was going to pay the hospital bills instead of thinking about her. Your mother tried comforting me, she told me it would all be fine and that she would call you for help.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes; tears were clinging to his eyelashes.

“She did,” he mumbled.

You felt the walls around you come crashing down as you looked at the broken man in front of you. You remembered how badly you’d wanted to see him then, how much you’d craved his comfort. You remembered how furious you had been when you realized that Jinyoung had abandoned you.

“I thought you would call,” you mumbled. “I didn’t want to disturb you but at the same time I trusted that you wouldn’t leave me alone at a time like that.”

Jinyoung’s voice was soft. “I’m sorry.”

“It would have been better if you hadn't done anything at all,” you mumbled. “Maybe then I could have forgotten about it in the mess that I was going through. But you didn’t. I got a call from your secretary the night before the funeral.”

Jinyoung lowered his head. His hands were trembling even as they held yours and you could hear his soft sniffle. “Shit,” he muttered, his voice thick with tears. “Shit, I can’t believe-”

“I thought you’d finally called. But it wasn’t you. I had to hear some strange woman tell me over the phone that Park Jinyoung is sorry he can’t make it to the funeral but he sends his condolences,” you choked out. You smiled humorlessly. “As if I was some distance acquaintance you barely knew. You sent me your condolences through your secretary.”

“I didn’t- I didn’t know it was you…”

“And then she told me that if I would just email her a copy of the hospital and funeral bills then all the expenses would be taken care of,” you mumbled. “She said that she could send me as much as I needed, no limit. I was so embarrassed. I wanted-I wanted to tell her that you could go fuck yourself and that I didn’t want your condolences and your money. I wanted to refuse so badly, but…”

You hung your head in shame. “But I couldn’t,” you whispered. “I couldn’t say that to her because it was true. I had no other way of paying those bills. So I sent her the details and I let you pay for them. Whether you know it or not, you paid for all my mother’s hospital bills and funeral while I sat here and wondered how I had become such a worthless daughter.”

Jinyoung’s hands clasped yours so tightly that it hurt. His shoulders were shaking and you could see the sobs racking his chest. “I didn’t mean to-” he sobbed. Jinyoung’s tears landed on your clasped hands. “I didn’t mean to, I swear…”

You slowly removed your hands from his. “I have the accounts,” you muttered. “I’ve been saving up to pay you back. It might take me a few more years but-”

Jinyoung flinched. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s not open to discussion, Jinyoung.”

“Don’t say you’ll pay me back, please-”

“I will pay you back,” you said firmly. You took a deep breath. “You know why? Because I might be able to forgive you for not being there when I needed you. But I will never, never forget how cheap I felt the moment I ended that phone call. So don’t talk to me about charity; I know how it feels to be on the other end of it.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. He felt light-headed and blank as he thought about everything you’d said. No wonder you didn’t consider him a friend. No wonder you couldn't bring yourself to be honest with him. No wonder there was something fake and forced about your every smile.

Jinyoung hadn’t just messed up.

He had destroyed something precious to him without even realizing it.

“It’s late,” you mumbled after a brief silence. “You should go to sleep. Here, just; make yourself comfortable on the couch and I’ll get you a blanket and some pillows.”

Jinyoung swallowed. “I-I can’t…”

“You’re not going anywhere at this time of night while you’re drunk,” you told him. You pushed him lightly so that he leaned back against the sofa. “Stay put. I’ll be back. I think we’ve talked enough for tonight.”

“Can you just promise me one thing?” Jinyoung asked quietly.

“What’s that?”

“Even if you don’t consider me your friend anymore, even if you’re just being nice to me because you’re that kind of a caring person… don’t give up on me completely.” Jinyoung looked up at you desperately. “Please. Tell me that I can fix things. Tell me I haven’t broken our friendship and my life beyond repair.”

You looked down at him. Lying on your couch in his crumpled dress shirt and the beer stains, Jinyoung looked pathetic. Perhaps it was because you’d finally let out all the resentment you’d been bottling up for so long. Perhaps it was because, looking into Jinyoung’s eyes now, you could see that he did care. But you suddenly didn’t feel so hollow anymore.

You didn’t feel so lonely in your pain.

“Everything can be fixed, Jinyoung,” you told him softly.

“Even us?” he mumbled.

You nodded. “Even us.”

“Even me?”

“Especially you.”

Jinyoung slowly closed his eyes and you went into the other room to get him a spare pillow and a blanket. He let you place the pillow under his head and snuggled into the soft blanket. You turned to switch off the light when you heard him mumble.

“You know something?”

“What, Jinyoung?”

“I thought that the most unbearable thing about being fired from the company was all the effort I’d put into it. I thought I couldn’t bear it because I’d done so much for it for the years,” he said slowly.

You blinked at his curled up figure under the blanket.

“But it’s not?” you asked.

Jinyoung shook his head. “It’s not how much I’ve done for the company that I can’t bear. It’s how much I sacrificed for it.”

-------------------

[empressxmachina]

Welcome Home, Sasha - “Two”. by Imperial-Radiance (that’s me)

Show some love to the picture seen here, “Lt. Sasha”, and its artist Alexandra Hodgson over on ArtStation. It inspired this entire story.

     The change in lighting was glaring, blinding Sasha as he walked forward. The vacuum of atmospheric particles following the path of least resistance brought and flew dust toward and onto his form but not enough to be an endangerment of any kind. White noise and low, mechanical hums soon dissipated into the nothingness of nature enveloped around him. His echoing footsteps were replaced by the crunching of minuscule dirt mounds beneath the treads of his feet. Hearing them brought back Tshepo’s bizarre directive; however, the expanse around him had more of a hold on him, causing him to pause and take it all in.

   Aside from the onyx and violet-trimmed Demeter, all Sasha could see was a planet’s red desert-like landscapes: the mountains almost meshing into the horizon, the bulbous clouds going across the heavens yet looked within arms’ distance, and the speckled earth below with its cracks, canyons, and craters as far as he could tell. All of them glowed like a crimson colored screen had been set over its light.

   In Sasha’s vista, light rays peeked through the sky puffs, but they didn’t clarify what kind of solar system he and the distant admiral were in. There was no way to see the number of suns here. Illuminate everything in sight was all they did, such as the shards of reflective surfaces of presumed water in the far distance. Having it accessible could imply that terraforming the place might be worth it. That would be the case if it hadn’t already been done.

   If Sasha’s running theory about his location was correct, then any more terraforming would laughably overkill.

   “Damn, Ki,” Sasha breathed, almost fogging up the entirety of his helmet’s glass. “Your testing mission must really be important if you couldn’t even tell me we were going to Mars.”

   He was shocked and confused, having ended up in a place so far from one home and so, so close to the sister planet that was his other. There weren’t many red planets as far as he knew of the billions or so in the Milky Way Galaxy that had ruby surfaces and sky. As long as they weren’t controllably corrosive, they weren’t necessarily a problem. But, having been terraformed for over two centuries, Earthlings had already made a comfortable place and/or new home for themselves there for all to know throughout the cosmos, adding Mother Nature’s blues and greens across the landscape… or, at least, he thought they had.

   Novis was usually always in the know of the red rock’s doings on the daily, and Sasha had visited several of its colonies a few years �� Earth and Martian ones – ago, seeing some of the civilizations for himself. However, the topography of this area wasn’t familiar, not matching up with anything on the most recent update of the Martian maps he thought he had memorized. Olympus Mons or any other notable prominence didn’t appear to be in sight, so there weren’t any major, natural landmarks from which he could work out where exactly on the planet he was.

   No area looked this barren as far as he remembered: no flags, beacons, or anything. It looked too similar to not be Mars, yet it was still different. If that were truly the case, then things had definitely changed since the last time Sasha was there, but there was only one way to prove it.

   “NAIMA, ready.” With Sasha’s single instruction, the innards of the helmet finally awakened.

   NAIMA, the Novis Artificial Intelligence Management Application, lightly flashed green icons on the window, symbolizing all of the functions accessible upon first use. However, just like within the Demeter, the exact details of the location were still hidden. If Sasha didn't know any better, then he would’ve figured that the systems to detect them were either encrypted for only Tshepo’s eyes or just straight up broken. Neither option seemed reasonable, but perhaps that was part of the mod testing… somehow. Checking the livability of a place was as simple as going down a checklist, and that is exactly what Sasha did.

   “Analyze all central stars inbound,” Sasha commanded, making sure to enunciate this time. The last time he wasn’t clear, and there was almost an extinction of five rare plant species.

   “Scanning,” the AI robotically dictated, with the chirps of LIDAR sensors measuring the skies. A few seconds of patient, systemic silence passed, and NAIMA announced its findings with a chime of completion before returning to its standby state. “Scan complete. One orbited star found.”

   Something told Sasha to look into how far it was or if there were any other bodies of interest, but the verification of the singular sun was enough to please him.

   “Estimate rotational bounds,” he then instructed. Knowing the length of a day on the planet meant knowing how long to live.

   Another lull met his ears. The sounds of his thoughts and life force were allowed to echo before Sasha’s suit rearranged its sensors not up toward the clouds but down toward the ground, surging through his legs and vibrating his feet. From what NAIMA showed on the screen, some sort of thermal imaging was being implemented through the soles and treads to detect the planet’s core below while a signal was continually sent out of the toe area and tracking the arc that he and thus everything else was making across the celestial sphere. After what felt like forever, it was finally done… but not without hesitation.

   “Uneven surfacing and turbid atmosphere lead to heightened uncertainty,” NAIMA announced to Sasha’s surprise. “Do you still request the results?”

   “Turbid?” Sasha repeated to himself, taking heed to not set off the AI immediately as he looked back to the skies. “It’s just Mars, right? This is just like how it was before terraforming… and that’s not good, is it?”

   Only after saying it did Sasha realize the implied severity of the statement - his face melting into a concerned frown at possibly hundreds of years of Earthling efforts reverting into nothing. Tshepo’s silence helped nothing, either. But, Sasha could only do so much to help if he wasn’t one-hundred percent sure where he was, and thus the investigation carried on.

   “Results requested,” he validated, receiving a near-immediate response from NAIMA.

   “With errors considered,” it replied, “the estimated time for one global rotation is twenty-four hours and twenty-one minutes with thirty-three minutes of uncertainty.”

   “Huh. That’s not exactly the twenty-four and forty I remember, but it’s close enough,” Sasha approved, only barely curious of the skewed measures. “Maybe they finally figured out how to gradually match up the sols with days over time.” He was one to look at the bright side of things when it seemed promising, but here, doused in Tshepo’s confidentiality, pulling out various what-ifs and buts were just as easy. “That doesn’t mean they surged its revolution speed, though,” he considered. “It’s probably still half-fast, and that wouldn’t have anything to do with all this red being back, would it?”

   As visually traumatizing the scarlet and all of its connotations generally were, that didn’t mean they were physically dangerous, and that, like everything else, could also be checked. But Sasha was confident in his safety: way too confident for Tshepo’s liking.

   The cabin-cloistered leader's voice went completely silent as he watched his more or less baby brother/son go against all basic protocols and begin unlocking and removing the helmet that blocked him and his airways from the openness of the atmosphere and all the emptiness that spread past it. If it had been a field exam on Novis, then Sasha’s thorough but few analyses would have failed him almost immediately. He only needed to give one more specific request to NAIMA, and his actions would have been plausible. But, no, he was too high in his own head to question it. Luckily, as the young soul hadn’t gone far, Tshepo and the Demeter were still in close range in case things went awry. Even luckier, the air was not only existent and breathable, it, minus a few fluctuations, fit all of Novis’ guidelines for livable space.

   Sasha was in the clear in both mind and airway, and he didn't hesitate in reveling in it.

   “Ah,” he exhaled, willingly breathing in and letting out as much as air as possible as he held his helmet in his hands. “That’s some good air, right there.” As clear as the helmet’s window was, its vista was nothing in comparison to being fully immersed, nothing to block the peripherals or cause a glare, even though NAIMA could’ve easily adjusted for both.

   Tshepo had one hand going through his hair and another clamped over his mouth, watching and listening to Sasha cheer for joy and praise himself over his proven prowess of examination. Well, it was mostly praising. For a brief moment, Sasha did realize the error in his ways, pausing with mouth agape and even longer face at how, in harsh truth, he could’ve killed himself. He could’ve just died – been dead – but he wasn’t. He wasn’t because he was right, and the smile came back as quickly as it went.

   Tshepo was nearly out of his pilot’s chair with his eyes glued onto the screen and its image before him. Yet, rather than an authoritative scowl hidden beneath his hand, there was a familial smirk. A happy Sasha was always nice to see, no matter the reason why, no matter how dumb he was in his intelligence. However, like his underling, that happiness fleeted from his own truths: those that called them for this mission that only they could do.

    “Sasha,” Tshepo sighed through the cockpit’s microphone, breaking his viewing silence and flash of contentment, “remember why you're here.” Tshepo’s message was almost lost through Sasha’s euphoria, but the distant muffles did reach his ears from his helmet’s inner speakers, at least enough for Sasha to remind himself of the task at hand.

   “Oh, right, the mods!” Sasha exclaimed, securing the helmet back onto its locks. The protection wasn’t needed for any changed breathing as far as he was told, but Tshepo hadn’t set up any glasses or lenses that could visualize all the supposedly new functions for whatever reason. Thus, the suit continued to be the projector, ready for action. He took a stable stance, dissolving his cockiness with professionalism, and instructed to NAIMA, “Engage BSv3 initialization.”

   “Bio-Sight Version 3, new update by Azikiwe comma Tshepo, commenced,” NAIMA announced mechanically as usual.

   Sasha couldn’t hold back a snort, hearing the AI attempt Tshepo’s full name. There had definitely been some tweaking in the pronunciation department, thinking back to all the jumbles spouted through the various version one updates. It was definitely more fluid than ever, but alas, it was still off. The same could be said about the new sets of icons and detectors and the additions to old ones that stretched translucently across his entire vista. There was just as much glow naturally in his eyes as the helmet shined into them, and a gasp escaped him.

   “Jesus, Ki. How long have you been working on this?” Sasha wondered in awe.

   As if knowing that the now-barren, terraformed Mars was an anomaly just by looking at it, the earthy expanse was decorated with a radiating grid, blocking off and measuring in square meter intervals in all directions. Well, all except up and down. In place of the emptiness of space, the mods sat in standby filling the visual field with a simulated cyberpunk cityscape: more than interesting enough to be a screensaver of sorts. Sasha really wanted to know how or why Tshepo programmed them, considering he was supposedly just proficient at biology and not computers, but his superior’s silence left him hanging, and thus he moved on.

   “Alright, fine. Don’t answer me,” Sasha sneered. It was with harmless intention; he’d find it a challenge when he wasn’t being watched. “I’ll figure it out eventually, but for now…”

   Sasha scrutinized the set of functions, trying to figure what each one held behind its icon without actually choosing it. No previews were available upon his eyes hovering over them, so his choice would be based on only intuition. Eventually, that led to him to one viable option, exactly what Tshepo hoped and thought he’d choose.

   “…let’s go with this,” Sasha settled, voice laced with curious uncertainty. “NAIMA, execute, uh, Carbon Camera?”

   “Carbon Camera launched. Detecting life forms within range.” The AI looked past the wavering in his tone and commenced the program, sending a new scattering of signals along the ground, periodically beeping and pulsating along the way until it eventually died down to a low but omnipresent echo.

   With the little information available about the application, Sasha assumed it would go for the most general scan, painting the ground in blue, green, or whatever contrasting color Tshepo chose for at least all the microorganisms burrowed in its dirt and sand. To his surprise, the output was worryingly scarce.

   “The camera must have adjusted itself,” he figured, gazing over the sprinkling of sapphire-shining found forms across the horizon. “It has to be filtering only for macroscopic organisms and only certain ones at that. Even so, it didn’t seem hot enough out here for it to be this desolate.”

   When he had taken his helmet off, Sasha’s breathing hadn’t been noticeably lessened. Sure, the air seemed thicker and dirtier than what he last remembered, and if it were a fatal concern, then NAIMA would’ve overridden controls and wouldn’t have allowed for exposure to it. Knowing Tshepo and his trust in his machine, let alone him being aware of all its and Sasha’s happenings out there, he probably wouldn’t have let the boy do it, either. So, it wasn’t that it wasn’t livable for anything, at least not at that moment. There just wasn’t anything around.

   Barely.

   Considering that Sasha would’ve probably only found their sources on accidental approach, and their glows being no different than those tens to hundreds of mapped squares away, the few blips nearby were promising enough to at least examine for a little while. Though, really, it'd just be done to refute that the Bio-Sight mods were pulling values out of nowhere. So, he did, initiating a beeline for one straight ahead.

   Sasha went a few paces, intermittently checking to his sides and behind him that the distant visuals weren’t changing or detecting anything new. There was some solace in the consistency. However, looking back at the Demeter brought back another reminder from Tshepo, the one he gave before Sasha left him.

   “Tread lightly?” Sasha repeated, questioning himself and pondering over what seemed like a light concern. “Why would I need to do that? There’s barely anything here.” But then he thought about it. He came to a halt and looked down, not so much at his feet but the ground itself. “Unless…”

   The relative fatality of bacteria and other minuscule organisms can’t really be helped, no matter what Sasha did. The suit had a hovering or flying device, but a powerful thrust into the ground and whatever was on it beneath him would be needed to lift him first. The soles had treads, so not every piece of dirt had his pressure on it. But on those that did, only the microbes probably had enough resilience to handle it. Though, that was obvious. It was underneath the surface that made Sasha worried.

   With all of his flouncing around earlier, the sudden appearance of him and the Demeter, and what he now believed were heavy footfalls, it was likely that he was seen as an invader out of nowhere to any unsuspecting fauna, scaring them to burrow underground or run away. Usually, it was him that ran away from intimidators or at least attempted to be a name without a face. To think of himself as the one inflicting fear unsettled his stomach.

   Sasha shook, almost immediately checking the undersides of his feet and the craters of his footprints for any animal that may have been caught or buried in his crossfire. The redness and spottiness of the dirt and soil made looking for bits and pieces of anything problematic, but with nothing large in sight, he calmed once again. Soon enough, he restarted his gait toward the closest unknown beacon with footfalls as close to floating above the surface as he could be without actually being off the ground. Little did he know, he would find himself deeper into it when he got to his destination.

   “What the fuck?” he inquired, at least reaching the target on the screen. At least, it said he did.

   The pinpoint rippled and chirped, centered right in front of him, but all he could see lying there was what looked like a broken sampling of brush, barely visible out of the ground below him, mostly burrowed by dirt if at all. It was concerning and confusing: the chaparral’s magnitude trivial to the earthy expanse that surrounded it. But believing the Bio-Sight found it for a reason, Sasha chose to examine further, kneeling to inspect at closer range.

   A hand grazed the soil, dusting for a fossil or some decomposing being with what had to be godlike floral camouflage. Yet, the more he brushed away dirt, the less he found, just finding more and more ground greeting him. He persisted all the while as the mods’ sensors never let up. However, it took the blips’ bleeping becoming an annoyance after an extensive period for him to realize his trials were in vain.

   “For fuck’s sake!” Sasha shot through gritted teeth, shaking his head in anger. He wasn’t sure if he was madder at himself or the machine that housed him, but not reaching a scavenger’s climax from either was a pain. A thought in the back of his head reminded him that it all could’ve been part of Tshepo’s trials, but care was quickly fleeting as the beeps felt louder. “Don’t keep pinging if there’s nothing—!” A curse to the wind lingered on the tip of his tongue until it and all his stress dissolved at the sight of his shoveling glove. “Oh.”

   Tests on NAIMA back in the lab previously made its number of useful qualities seem extraordinarily large, so its finding shouldn’t have been as surprising to Sasha as it was. Though, there was no way he would’ve been able to predict seeing it.

   He barely saw it himself.

   An insignificant shard of sorts found itself embedded to the tip of Sasha’s finger. From the naked eye, it had to have been a shard versus a splinter or something similar based on its sheen alone. Curiosity took hold of him, along with just not wanting to accidentally crush the thing by his touch, leading him to enhance his suit’s sensors and examine it closer. A quick zoom-in later, and what was once a dot in his window expanded to push at its walls with its new girth.

   A metal stake now greeted him, chipped and scorched in places but still stable. Scorched: a fire had gotten to it, somehow. Looking up, the clouds could have reflected a storm to come, possibly mirroring a past squall in which a spark may have, well, sparked on the ground and caused such burns. Though, the scalding wasn’t even down its length, giving more validity to a lightning strike. Even its tiny but vivid heatmapping showed promise for a bolt. Yet, one so precise toward such a small object seemed irrational.

   “There was obviously heat on this thing,” Sasha commented, rolling the petite pole across his finger pad to check its full surface. Spots and speckles of scorches were spread all over. “But, from where?”

   The average Martian temperature in days of old froze liquid water without trouble. Nowadays, with its terraforming and all, there wasn’t much to say against the possibility of a heat wave. Sasha’s current location on the rock, wherever it was, did look deserted and desert-like, fitting for increased warmth (and coolness at night if one wanted to be technical). Though, out of everything, it was probably weather-related. But, of this intensity? Surely, he would’ve known of that already.

   Novis and all those living on it are meant to have details for any large event, especially natural disasters and phenomena, on all of the human-based colonies. The best guess for whatever happened had to be a volcano or other geyser going off sometime recently with remnants of its eruption finding themselves on this sliver. Yet, no sizeable Martian spout he recognized was in sight. There was a likelihood for a celestial interference, whether it be an asteroid becoming a meteorite, the Sun flaring up, or something else, but that should’ve been a solar systemic emergency if not just a simple news declaration.

   This was neither, at least nothing publicized. Then again, Tshepo was hiding something from his knowledge, but why hide an emergency? If one is on a mission to a dilemma, and they take someone with them, then why leave them in the dark?

   Why would Sasha’s best friend Ki leave him ignorant intentionally, let alone lie? The only times either of those ever happened was when… when…

   And, just like that, with a look back into his past, Sasha had a clue, and he needed to know more. But this was his test, after all, so he knew he had to find it himself... no matter how much it would hurt.

   Feigning a lack of knowledge complemented with confidence was a skill of which Sasha had all too much. His voice, if he used it, was crisp. His heart rate was slow and steady. Anything Tshepo could and did check at the moment was fine. By Sasha’s luck, there were no cameras inside his helmet or on his suit at the moment to reveal how panicked he truly was. He still wasn’t sure about what he had found, but given how he found it, he would know the truth soon enough.

   Tshepo sat quietly in his seat, waiting for any sort of new response from his amicable underling. He knew Sasha was thorough, but this seemed ridiculous, and he was growing aggravated. Even with the data he deliberately kept hidden from his eyes, he figured the boy would’ve verbally denounced Mars as an option by now. Were his systems failing before his eyes? Was Sasha taking care to go down a list of every similar planet of every system and galaxy he knows? He was so silent, and with his knelt back to the Demeter, Tshepo, now rightfully so, was left in the dark.

   However, it wasn’t much longer until that annoyance transitioned to absolute concern.

   “Sasha? Sasha?” the leader repeated, voice growing shriller each time. With every call, he sounded more and more like a broken record. Eventually, he was truly desperate. “Sasha, say something. Please.” Even at the eventual ultimatum he knew would come, the last way he thought Sasha would react was total silence.

   No words escaped from Sasha’s lips, but if his vocal cords were in use, then the sounds that he would’ve managed to make out of them would’ve been incomprehensible babbling. Through the panic that was visible on his face, he could only imagine the cries for answer howling from his senior were related to it. No matter what the case was, Sasha figured he wasn’t going to receive any sort of solace unless he made a moral move for himself. It just sucked to do so, since any extraneous move in the physical space and he probably would’ve missed it… and irreversibly kept himself from ever finding it. Most of his psyche didn’t want to take the plunge toward verisimilitude, yet it knew just as well that he’d regret it if he didn’t.

   In what seemed like an instant, as Sasha took a deep breath, all of the vitals’ trackers monitoring him inside the Demeter began to flare, detecting sudden changes in his systems. Tshepo’s worrisome wails only magnified, attempting to echo over them to get through to his still stagnant, ace apprentice. When he finally did, he found it just as difficult to hold back his own tears that Sasha had, at last, let flow.

   “K-Ki,” the sheepish space soldier whimpered his senior’s name, trying so hard to continue analyzing the eccentric splinter on his finger pad. All the while, he hoped most if not all of the hypotheses that he was now starting to predict for it would fail to be reached. “I know… you’ve been lying to me, and it needs to stop. N-Now.”

   It was never the intention to hurt his friend, but there was absolutely no way he was going to be okay unless he was a sociopath. Shy, sure, but Sasha Keeling had way too much sympathy for others for it to be an uncertainty. So many regrets immediately ran through his mind, worthy of pulling hair out. Yet, would they have made it this far if he hadn’t kept his mouth shut? Would Sasha have kept his mouth shut long enough for them to get to a point where he could cry without punishment, just like now? There was no way to tell, but there was a lot left to say.

   “No assumptions. No bullshit. No matter how bad it is.” Sasha continued, struggling to stay composed through his internal conflicts. But he knew that he had to be, going right for the big question. “Ki, w-where are we?”

   At this point, there was not enough moxie in the universe to make Tshepo say anything. No, he could say one thing, and he did say it but not until its point was already proven true. NAIMA had been hiding features for long enough. Now, it was true to set them all into action… with a wounded sigh. Sasha heard it, fearing its meaning until the train of bleeps of notifications and surges of data disturbed the shallow peace and set his viewing window ablaze with glows.

   Its radiant information reflected onto Sasha’s eyes, becoming more legible as they grew wider and wetter with reading. Immense doubt and dread engulfed him, only to be magnified more by the reason for it.    A new multitude of speckles detected by the Carbon Camera — things and souls that once breathed, believed, and built — ran across the entirety of his view toward the horizon. Yet, its suspected volume seemed to be less than his own. That of the collection of metals and other solid flakes and dust bits scanned was only a bit more and just as sprawled over the ruddy expanse. Such miniature tangibles against his previously not-so-grandiose frame were sickening to imagine one-by-one, putting life or use into them. However, the qualities and measures NAIMA gave of his location that couldn’t be touched so easily were the cherries on top that sent him into full nausea by doing so anyway.

   The same atmosphere, ground structure, and climates Novis simulated and tested against but not as extrapolated overall. The same rate of passing time in a day that gave some form of order on Novis on which the space soldiers could build a circadian rhythm. A similar view of the sky and its life-bringing star that Sasha repeatedly projected in his room sans the scarily turbid, crimson monochrome.    The history and culture behind a flag he had never gotten to visit in person. One of the thousands that stood the tests of the past to get him to who and where he was in the present. It now laid atop his finger as a dirtied trace of a fabric corner on its burnt metal shaving of a pole. A symbol of the numerous, microbial places and people now visibly scattered around him. Maybe under, too. Flaked like glitter. Unmoving if not unthinkably eradicated.    It didn’t need to be said, but Tshepo did and locked it in indefinitely, “Welcome home, Sasha.”

[decembercamiecherries]

Chapter 3 title: You make the darkness less dark

Chapter 3 word count: 2941

Summary:

They’re together, but not alone, and that’s all that really matters.

I'm sorry that this chapter is a little late, I just moved into my new dorm room for the school year and the semester already started off with a bang if you know what I mean. The next chapter will be out on time, though! Can’t Pretend is my song rec for chapter 3 ^-^ 

Bless @softkillua for beta-ing this and everything else I write. He truly is amazing ^^ Thank you again also for the support for this fic! I hope you all enjoy this chapter~

Zeus’ Cabin is bigger than Poseidon's, but just as empty. Just as cold.

Gon and Killua shove and push two of the beds together in the center room, right underneath the multi-colored ceiling of kaleidoscope mosaics. They watch the tiled clouds and sunbeams above their heads give way to splashes of stars and slivers of moonlight, and Gon feels like he’s floating in space with only Killua’s quiet breathing to keep him company.

“I’m not the son of Hades.” Killua’s voice shakes as he speaks. He sounds too small and too quiet, so different than the snappish boy Gon met in that first capture-the-flag game. “I’m not, Gon. I swear.”

Gon squeezes his friend’s trembling fist on top of cool, creamy sheets. “I know.”

“I’m not cursed, either. That- all that stuff, with the lightning and the monsters and the snake...none of it was my fault, Gon. I was trying to stop the monsters from breaking through the barrier that day, and those guys were teasing the snake on purpose. Of course it striked back. And that first day at camp was an accident. I never meant to- to hurt anyone. I never wanted that.”

“I know,” Gon repeated, sure and firm.

A scoff. “How?! How can you possibly know that? You’ve barely been here two months, you can’t just-”

“Because I know you, Killua,” Gon says simply. He turns his head sideways to meet Killua’s wide, blue gaze. “And you wouldn’t lie about that sort of thing.”

Killua visibly swallows. “You're naive.”

“Maybe. But not when it comes to stuff like this. You’re my friend, Killua, so I trust you.”

Killua buries his face into the pillow, right next to Gon’s ear, and Gon feels more than hears his shuddered inhale-exhale. Gon rubs his thumb over one of Killua’s bony knuckles, waits for Killua’s breathing to slow. Somewhere off in another room, lightning flashes and thunder echoes.

“Zeus is my heritage,” Killua whispers a few dozen heartbeats later. “But he’s not my father.”

Gon’s brow puckers at that. “What do you mean?”

Killua raises his head and starlight bangs fall into piercing azure eyes. “I’m adopted. I have a mother, a father, siblings...even a grandfather. And maybe a great-grandmother, but I’m still not sure if she’s a lie my older brother made up or not.”

Surprise washes over Gon like a wave. He’s never heard of any other Camp-Half Blood resident with two parents, before. Let alone an entire family! He only had Aunt Mito and one grandmother, but they had always meant everything to him.

“Where are they?” he asks, because he knows why he left his family but not why Killua left his.

Killua drops his gaze to the pillow. He murmurs while tracing shadows into the cotton with his free hand, “They’re still alive, if that’s what you mean.”

It wasn’t, but that answer is more telling than anything else Killua could have said.

“My parents are demigods, like you and me,” Killua explains. “They...collect other demigods who’ve been abandoned by their biological family. Or, that’s what they claim at least. I’m not sure I believe them anymore.”

“So,” Gon says as his mind tosses and turns. He doesn’t understand what Killua is trying to tell him so he keeps talking, hopes Killua will guide him through it like he does with ancient greek poetry and history and math. “You’re not related to your mother and father? Or any of your siblings?”

Killua shakes his head. “No. Well, I mean, my dad and grandpa are both sons of Zeus so I’m technically related to them. Distantly. But my brothers all have different godly parents. Illumi’s the son of  Hypnos, Kalluto’s the son of Hermes...Mom and Dad try to get a range when it comes to adopting kids. The more different we are from each other, the more powerful our family becomes.”

“They use you,” Gon realizes as ice sizes his heart.

Killua nods. “The Zoldycks adopt demigods to raise as their own, to increase their influence. They don’t take us in because they love us or want to help us. They’re only interested in our raw godly abilities, and how they can sculpt it to benefit themselves.”

Killua glances up at the changing ceiling, face blank and stony and empty, and something deep in Gon’s chest aches at the sight.

“The Zoldycks are bad people, Gon,” Killua says. “So I left before they had the chance to use my abilities for themselves. And I’m never, ever going back.”

“Can I ask you something?”

Killua laughs under his breath, like Gon’s just told a funny joke, and tightens the straps at Gon’s shoulders until it fits snugly against his shirt. “Why’re you asking me that for? You always do, anyway.”

Gon thinks that’s a bit unfair. “That’s only because I know you don’t mind answering them.”

“Oh, and you know that because you know me soooo well, huh?”

“I do!”

Killua raises a bemused eyebrow. “We’ve known each other for two months, Gon. That’s not enough time to know someone-”

“It definitely is!” Gon argues. “Time doesn’t determine a relationship, Ki-llu-a.”

Killua folds his arms over his chest- gracefully, because everything Killua does is smooth and fluid and dance-like, and Gon can never tell if it’s on purpose or if that’s just Killua- and says, “Okay. I’ll take the bait. What determines a’ relationship’ in your oh-so-wise opinion, son of Poseidon?”

Gon doesn’t pause to think before he’s blurting out, “Connection.”

Killua blinks, clearly not expecting Gon’s words. “Connection?”

Gon bobs his head. “Yeah. Connection. You can meet someone and be friends in minutes, as long as the connection’s there. But you can also know someone else for years, and if you have nothing that connects you, you won’t care about each other at all!”

Killua nods slowly. Gon can see his friend’s thoughts clicking together like puzzle pieces behind beautiful, transparent blue eyes as he says, “I...guess I can get that.”

“See! It makes sense!”

“In a mixed up way, yeah, it does. And you’re trying to say that- that you and me, we have that? A connection?”

Killua’s cheeks are dusted pink and Gon’s heart does a strange little flip. His skin tingles as he hums happily, “Mhm! Definitely! We became friends right away, didn’t we?”

Killua ducks his head, blocking his red face from Gon’s view. “I-I guess. A-Anyway-” Killua is suddenly shoving Gon’s arms up and out of the way so he can adjust the buckles along his ribs, “-what was it you were going to ask me? You had something you wanted to say but then you got sidetracked.”

“Hey!” Gon protests with a pout. “You were the one who me distracted, Killua!”

There’s a smile tucked away in the lilt of Killua’s voice as he says, “You keep telling yourself that.”

“Killua-”

“Your question, Gon.”

Oh. Right.

“Well, I was just wondering,” Gon starts and Killua looks up at him through moonbeam lashes. “What did your family do to you that made you want to leave? You said the other night that they used you.”

Killua hands freeze on Gon’s armor. He doesn’t say anything for several seconds and worry twists Gon’s stomach into knots.

“Killua?” Gon starts, hesitant. “Are you-”

“Gon,” Killua interrupts and his voice is strained. “I...I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He doesn’t understand. “Why not?”

“My childhood wasn’t exactly pretty, Gon. It wasn’t like yours with the sun and the sand and the waves. Mine was much...darker. Lonelier. Are you sure you want to hear all of that?”

There’s no hesitance in his answer: “Yes.”

Gon wants to know everything about Killua. All of his good parts and bad...everything that makes Killua Killua. He wants to know it all.

He wants to prove to Killua that he can see every part of his best friend, and still be at his side at the end of it all.

Killua finally straightens. There’s a look of resignation in the downward curve of his lips when he says, “You’re not going to let this go until I tell you, huh?”

“Nope!” Gon says and makes a popping sound with the last syllable.  

Killua lets out a long breath, pushes his hand through silver bangs. “Okay. I’ll tell you, then. After we finish this practice match and take a shower.”

Gon’s mouth falls open. “Wha- Killua! That’s not-”

“Yes, Gon, it is fair. This is the last thing we have to do before the weekend, right? Once we’re done, I can tell you everything without being interrupted.”

Ah, Gon thinks and his heart flutters again. There it was: their connection. Killua knew Gon well enough to know he wouldn’t stop asking Killua questions once they got started. He was making Gon wait now, so he wouldn’t have to later.

“I’ll make sure to defeat you quickly, then,” Gon says and Killua’s eyes flash dangerously.

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you, Freecss.” Killua steps back and slides his metal sword out of his holder. He swishes it through the air expertly-gracefully- and Gon’s chest swells.

“After all,” Killua continues smoothly. “You’ve yet to beat me in combat once this entire summer.”

Gon smiles. “Maybe. But-” and here he smiles, a dare in the curve of his grin and Killua’s eyes are so bright and so incredibly blue, they draw Gon closer like the moon pulls the sea-

“-I’m a quick study. And I never back down from a challenge.”

Gon beats Killua, but it takes an hour and a half and costs him several bruises, three broken fingers and a black eye.

Killua’s a bit better off, but not by much. They’d gone all out and Mister Wing only gives them the magically-healing Ambrosia after making them swear not to fight again without a proper chaperone.

Gon’s Ambrosia tastes like orange juice and Aunt Mito’s cooking and his grandmother’s cookies. It’s also strangely sweet, like syrup or chocolate. He doesn’t understand why it tastes like that, exactly- Ambrosia is supposed to taste like your favorite food but Gon’s never been a fan of anything overly sweet before-

But Killua is fulfilling his promise, talking about a cold home with butlers and monstrous dogs and a family legacy he left behind, so Gon quietly listens and pushes the strange flavor to the back of his mind.

The first thing he learns is this: that Killua was right, his childhood was nothing like Gon’s.

Killua’s childhood is scattered with various tests and experiments to reveal which of Zues’ powers were reflected in him. His ivory skin is dotted with scars from whips and burns from electricity. His body is only as flexible as it is now from years upon years of stretching and pulling and pushing his muscles until he was too weak to even walk.

Killua is no stranger to pain, but learned to isolate himself from it, how work around it, and keep going even when his body was broken and bruised. He stopped crying from pain so long ago he can’t remember the last time he shed tears and they were real.

He was three when his parents named him heir to a family name he would grow to hate.

He was six when he successfully completed the mission to steal Zeus’ lightning bolt from under the God’s nose.

He was eight when he finally decided he’d had enough, and had just turned ten by the time he packed his bags, fought his mother and brother to escape his home, and never looked back.

He was eleven when the nightmares started.

“Killua!” Gon pins down pale, thin wrists as Killua thrashes in his bed. He keeps trying to twist his way out of Gon’s grip but Gon holds on tight and won’t let go. If he does, Killua will keep tossing and turning; he will end up hurting himself somehow, Gon just knows it. “Killua! Killua, wake up, please, please, Killua-!”

“NO!!!” Killua jolts into consciousness with a heaving gasp. His eyes are hazy, unfocused. They flicker back and forth- across the ceiling, from wall to wall. He’s seeing things Gon can’t see. There are demons in his mind Gon can’t touch, and it makes his heart fracture like glass.

“Killua,” he whispers, voice cracking on the single word. Some of the light filters back into Killua’s gaze at the sound and Gon nearly cries when he finally focusses on Gon’s face.

Killua slumps back into cool sheets with a shuddering breath. “Gon,” he sighs, more air than sound.

Gon’s eyes prickle and burn. “Killua,” he says, just as soft, just as quiet.

For a long minute, they just stare at each other. Gon is crouched over Killua, his hands pressing Killua’s arms to the mattress on either side of his silver locks. Killua looks up at him with dark circles under his eyes and skin so white he looks like a porcelain doll.  

“Are you okay?” Gon forces himself to ask even though his throat is tight and his heart quivers.

Killua squeezes his eyes shut. “No.”

“Was it...did you have nightmares, again?”

Killua nods, starlight curls shifting around his head into some sort of uneven halo, and Gon feels a sharp pang straight through his chest.

The nightmares were a natural part of Killua’s life, Killua had told him. They started nearly a year after he escaped to Camp-Half Blood; at least once a month he would wake up in cold sweat, shivers cascading down his spine and a blinding headache just above his eyes.

He still suffered from them for years later. But they’re even worse now, in both intensity and occurrence. They’d gotten so bad in recent weeks that Killua almost avoided sleeping altogether. He’d actually fallen asleep on Gon while they were standing guard during the last capture-the-flag game and that was when Gon decided:

Killua would stay with him, from now on. In Poseidon’s Cabin. There he could calm Killua down when he woke up screaming in the middle of the night; he could help convince him that his dreams were just dreams, that they weren’t real.

But he never imagined they would be this bad.

Gon swallows thickly. There’s a lump in his throat and worry gnaws at him from the inside out. He feels like bugs are crawling across his skin, a prickling sensation at the back of his neck like someone is watching him.

But there’s no one here. It’s just him and Killua on Gon’s too-big bed with the low rumbling of waves drifting in through the open windows. They’re together, but not alone, and that’s all that really matters.

“Killua,” Gon whispers again, to distract himself. Midnight blue eyes flutter open and lock on Gon’s brown-gold. He looks exhausted and worn out. Gon’s never seen Killua this pale before and it makes his chest tighten until he can barely breathe.

Killua’s fingers uncurl from their fists. He murmurs, “I’m sorry, Gon.”

Gon blinks. “What for?”

Killua turns his head to the side, towards the window. “For...this. For keeping you up. For bothering you.”

“Killua.” Gon slides his hands up and into Killua’s. He interlocks their fingers- alabaster white standing out in stark contrast to bronze tan- and squeezes once. “You don’t have to apologize for something like that. I want to help you; you’re not bothering me at all.”

Killua stiffens at Gon’s unexpected touch. He swallows thickly, and it’s only because Gon is watching him so closely that he notices the faint blush dusting his friend’s cheeks.

“But-” Killua starts.

“No buts!” Gon says firmly and Killua’s mouth shuts with a click. “You’re my friend, Killua! My best friend! You could never be a burden. If I was the one suffering from nightmares, wouldn’t you do the same thing for me?”

“...yes. Of course I would.”

Gon beams. “See? It’s okay, Killua. I’m gonna be here for you no matter what. That’s what best friends do!”

Killua finally looks up at Gon again. There’s a raw, shining emotion in his blue gaze when he croaks out, “Is that what we are? Best friends?”

“Of course we are,” Gon responds immediately. “You’re- Killua, you make me happy! Really, really, really happy! I love spending time with you. Don’t you like spending time with me?”

Warmth blossoms in Gon’s heart as Killua’s fingers curl around his. “Y-Yeah. I do.”

“Then that’s all that matters! How could we not be best friends?”

Killua’s lips quiver. There’s a sharp tug at his hands and Gon suddenly finds himself crushed to Killua’s chest. Gon automatically wraps his arms around Killua’s waist, a happy sigh escaping from his lips and nuzzles against Killua’s shoulder.

Killua’s hands are cool and smooth on Gon’s shoulder blades, but Gon is warm in his best friend’s embrace. Killua smells like strawberries and chocolate, like the salty breeze rolling off the waves just beyond Poseidon's Cabin. He smells and feels like home, and Gon wishes he could stay in Killua’s arms forever.

“Thank you,” Killua whispers into Gon’s hair. It’s quiet but heartfelt and Gon smiles into the curve of Killua’s neck.

“Anything for you, Killua.”

Weeks pass before Killua tells Gon what he dreams of, what exactly it is that terrifies him.

In his dreams he’s chained and drowning in an inky pool, a swirling black hole of darkness without light or stars. He dreams of needles and an empty voice and flat eyes and oily-black strings of hair-

He dreams of lightning exploding from his chest, spreading through his veins and cracking across his skin-

Shattering his body and soul in a single spark.

[tellytantra]

The persistent rapping against the door extracted a growl from her throat as she sat up. "Just leave me alone!" she mouthed, her voice barely audible, even as the thoughts raged and screamed in her head. Whoever it was outside, they did not relent and knocked again, softly. Too much noise. She wiped the tears off her face fiercely and started getting off of the bed, ready to vent all of her frustration on someone, anyone. "Naira?" She froze in her steps. And just like that, her anger died again. She just felt like crying again. Her teeth digging into her lower lip, she watched her hand hover above the door knob, almost touching but not really, as if she didn't even know what it was doing there or what it could possibly be doing there. He knocked again, called her name out again in the softest whisper and she had to squeeze her eyes shut against the wild flurries that started up in her chest. "Open the door, Naira. I know you're in there." "I'm sleeping, leave me alone, Kartik." The words had left her mouth before she had realised how utterly stupid it was. She stared up at the door, mentally cursing herself. There was silence from his side for a long minute before she heard him chuckle. "Kitne sade hue jokes maarti ho na tum?" Flustered, she pursed her lips, her brow knitting into a frown and she glared at the door now, hoping to burn a hole through it, into his dumb head. "Haan. Toh?" "Toh I miss them, na?" It made her crumple back into 'Crying Mode'. And she hated it. She hated crying, and she hated him for making her cry. Her hand wound itself in such a tight grip around the handle, it hurt but she didn't let go. Part of her that was insisting on opening the door, on throwing herself in his arms and begging for forgiveness or thrashing him into submission. Instead, she decided to persist a little longer. Just a little more. "Maine tumse kaha tha? Aise jallaad banne ko?" "Naira... jallaad... main... what?" Despite her better judgement, she pulled the door open. She had not bothered to turn the lights on in her room and he hadn't bothered with those in the corridor either, so she could only barely discern his outline. Which was good because he couldn't see her face, so he wouldn't be able to tell she had been crying, but she would have liked seeing his what-are-you-talking-aboutface... She wished she could have told him just how much she missed the old Kartik, her friend Kartik, her 'Jai' Kartik... but for one, he probably didn't care anymore - and she knew she couldn't blame him, although she would never admit it out loud - and secondly, her pride wouldn't allow her that. "Haan, jallaad! Tum jallaad ho!" He inhaled deeply. She sucked in a ragged breath as she tried not to start crying in front of him and ploughed on. "You don't care the least bit about... Just go! Tumhi ne kaha tha, na? That I should stop following you around? Ab tum kyun peechhe pade ho mere?" He didn't say anything for the longest time. She felt his eyes on her, despite the darkness. "I can't sleep because I can hear you cry," he finally spoke up, his voice even. She took a step back. He could hear her? He knew she had been crying? Another lone tear slipped its way down her cheek as she turned her head towards the side wall. His room was right on the other side. Damn these old European paper-thin walls. "Shut your ears, then," she gritted out bitterly. "Just like you've been doing all this time while I have been trying to apologise to you. If you could ignore me so well then, you can do it again now." She tried closing the door but he moved in, faster than her and blocked it. "Well, too late now. I cannot un-hear it, can I?" "It's none of your business, Kartik. Tumhein kya farak padta hai?" "Farak padta hai, Naira..." He had hardly breathed those words out and she would probably not have heard him otherwise but he was standing so close, the night was terribly silent and the darkness sharpened her senses. "Bohot farak padta hai... Naira... I can't bear you crying..." She should have come up with something witty, a taunt, anything but a mere and feeble "Why?" was what left her mouth. He sighed. She felt him raise a hand, slowly. It touched her cheek lightly, making something flutter quite violently in her stomach, then pressed against her skin with more firmness, and involuntarily, without even realising, she leaned into his warmth. Until he spoke again. "You won't understand." Anger overtook her. Again. She shoved his hand off her face but didn't move away from him. "Is that why? Is that why you didn't think to tell me about what was going on with my Papa? Because I cannot understand a single thing?" "Nair-" "Aur tum toh sab samjhte ho, na?" She snorted drily. "Oh, and wasn't it you who was lecturing me about trust? Kartik, you couldn't trust me enough to tell me about all that?" "Will you-" She shook her head, pushing the hand that was about to rest on her shoulder away. "No! You listen to me! If you had trustedme, if you had just told me right from the beginning, I wouldn't have doubted you, Kartik, things would never have come this far! I asked you so many times, you kept coming up with the lamest excuses... How was I supposed to know? Your behaviour had been so weird... You got into Papa's cabin, you were getting calls from Kenya, you looked like you were hiding stuff... Yeh sab normal lagta hai tumhein? And when I asked Naman Chachu... He had a perfect, confident reply... Main kya karti, Kartik? Tum bolo, tum hote toh kya karte?" This time, he didn't hesitate for even the fraction of a second. "Main hota toh tum pe trust karta." Naira looked up at him incredulously, suddenly wishing there was some light so she could see his face and know whether he was making fun of her. "I would believe you above anybody else, Naira." He sounded too sincere for it to be a joke. "Kyun?" she whispered, her voice breaking. "Why would you do something so stupid? Why would you put me above a member of your family?" "Tum-" He finished that sentence with a sigh, followed by silence. "Main nahin samjhoongi... right?" "Because I know you, Naira! That's why!" She nodded, smiling sadly. "Oh... Yeah... You know me." He started to say something but she held her hand up. "No, you are right. You do know me. But vahi toh problem hai, na? Do I know you Kartik? Tum mere dil ki har baat jaan lete ho, meri har ankahi baat samajh jaate ho... I don't know how but, you get me to talk about things I would never share with anyone else... But I don't... I don't know you, it's like I don't know anything about you! And you don't share anything with me either... do you? I just..." Lightheaded, she felt herself break into a sob. She had had enough of this. All this crying and begging. If she went on like this, her Mamma and Papa would know for sure that something was wrong and they had just been through so much... She shook her head and started pushing him out of her room. "Tum sahi the. I didn't trust you enough, galti meri hi hai. Tum jaao. I won't bother you from now on, I won't even cry if it disturbs you... Tum bas chale jaao." But he didn't even move an inch despite her best efforts and with each push, she was crying harder. He simply wrapped his arms around her, gathered her against his chest, just like he had when she had been crying in her Papa's office. She gave up after a while. This stupid crying business had weakened her while he was still standing strong... the jerk... She slipped her arms around his waist too and hugged him back, her face buried in his chest. It was warm. And she felt safe. She didn't think even her Papa made her feel this safe... He was right, wasn't he? She should have trusted him instead of believing Naman chachu? God, she was ready to give anything to undo this... "I'm sorry too, Naira," she heard him mutter. He dropped his head and pressed a long kiss in her hair and she shivered, snuggling closer to him. There was a feeling stirring up deep inside, she didn't recognise it and in that moment she didn't really care, she only had one concern. Was she forgiven? Did he still want her as a friend? Or would she have to see him every day with the knowledge that she had lost his friendship because of her baseless doubts? Or worse, what if that was it? What if he had decided he had had enough of her and he left the job and her and... She pulled away, not crying anymore but shaking. All of a sudden, she was cold and scared. "Kartik-" His finger on her parted lips halted the words. She couldn't think anymore. Everything was... dizzy. "Have you stopped crying?" He asked gently and she nodded, the movement almost mechanical. He leaned in closer and she almost forgot how to breathe. "Good. Ab muskuraaogi, Naira? Asli wali, hundred watt wali smile?" She would have if she felt like it. She didn't. Naira shook her head. "Don't go anywhere!" She thought she must have puzzled him for a moment. "I know ke mujhse galti huyi hai lekin Kartik... tum usski vajah se job chhod ke toh nahin jaaoge, na? It's okay if you don't want to talk to me ever again, but you can't leave like that! Everybody loves you so much... Mishti... Mishti-" "Naira," he interrupted her. She could hear the smile in his voice as he threaded his fingers in her hair but she couldn't be sure. "Naira, I am not leaving you. I would never leave you, Naira. Unless it makes you happy..." "It doesn't!" He chuckled. And then he kissed her on her forehead. And something erupted inside of her, spilling a warm, comforting feeling... She shook herself. Her hands found their way to his collar and she held on lightly but firmly. "Am I forgiven? Are we still friends?" she sniffled. He seemed to be watching her, she could feel it, but that would be impossible, it was too dark. "Haan, Naira Singhania," he finally mumbled in a really low voice and made her heart thump way to hard for it to be normal. "Tumhein toh saat khoon bhi maaf hain." She almost squealed and laughed but her parents, Gayu Di and other clients at the hotel had to be sleeping soundly in the nearby rooms so she didn't. She was only going to jump and throw her arms around him and hug him again but even that didn't happen. Because the moment she jumped, she felt her head crash into something and Kartik yelped. He seemed to be holding his face - judging from his silhouette - as he fell back against the door frame. "Kartik!" She frantically moved closer to him, not quite knowing what to do. "Are you okay?" He straightened himself. "Haan... I think so..." She reached for his face but turned away to turn the light of her room on and she had to clap both hands on her mouth to prevent herself from screaming or something. He stared at her, his eyes wide. "Kya hua?" She could not form a reply. Tears pooled in her eyes again and she started crying again, confusing him even more. He swiped a hand under his nose carelessly before stepping closer to her to comfort her but then he saw it too. The blood on his hand. He touched his nose with the other hand and looked at the dark red fluid that stained it as well. He looked up at her. "Naira..." "I am so sorry," she found her voice again, but not quite, it wasn't really loud and clear, just a tiny bit louder than a whisper. "I am so sorry, Kartik! I didn't mean to hurt you... I just keep hurting you all the time... I-" He looked like he could have laughed, like he was trying not to. "Naira, it doesn't hurt. Stop crying, Naira, please! Please? Naira, dekho, sab jaag jaayeinge. Mujhe bilkul bhi dard nahin ho raha hai. Naira..." She hurriedly shoved some tissue paper in his hands, made him tilt his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose to stop the bleeding but without stopping to cry. She was still going at it by the time the bleeding had stopped and Kartik had given up on. Without saying anything, he nudged her aside and walked into her room. He returned with her jacket, which he tugged on her even as she cried. He took her by the hand, pocketed her room keys and stopped by his own room for his own jacket and pulled her along. "Itni raat ko hum kahaan jaa rahe hain?" she wanted to know once they were in the elevator. He gazed at her blotchy, red face in a way that made her tingly all over. "Can't you just come with me?" She shrugged. His lips started twisting only slightly into a lopsided smile that probably was doing something to her heart. "We're in Zurich and I didn't even get to have a good time with my Veeru. Yeh bhi koyi baat huyi?" She snorted. "Achha? Aur cable car mein nakhre kaun dikha raha tha? Tab yaad nahin aayi Veeru ki?" "Kya yaar? Main itne nakhre uthaata hoon tumhare, tum mera ek bhi nakhra nahin utha sakti?" He was grinning when she glanced at him. Naira rolled her eyes. "Ha. Ha. So funny." She crossed her arms across her chest. "Vaise, as far as I've heard, you did have a really great time." He gave her a baffled look. "When we got off the cable car and you disappeared like I was a ghost after your blood? And you went and had such a great moment with Gayu Di in the snow and everything?" "Oh..." He looked away. She smiled, saccharine sweet, at the elevator doors, waiting for them to open. "Aur main thi, ke paagalon ki tarah tumhein dhoond rahi. It was... fun. Bada maza aaya mujhe!" She walked out without waiting for him, even though she didn't know where they were supposed to go either, but she knew he would be right behind her. He was. "Naira?" Out of the corner of the eye, she saw him smile when she refused to answer or even acknowledge him. "Are you jealous?" "No!" She had turned around and refuted his question so loudly, she had captured the attention of the few people who were in the lobby. Cheeks burning, she inched closer to Kartik, whose grin had widened. "Main kissi se nahin jalti. And why should I be jealous of Gayu Di? She is my sister, I am not jealous of her." He shoved his hands inside his pockets, looking like he was actually enjoying himself. "I don't know... that sounded like... jealousy..." She opened her mouth, closed it. Opened it again, to decide against it and closed it again. "Okay, fine," she hissed, after several good seconds. "Mujhe achha nahin laga. You left me to go enjoy the snow with somebody else and I was worried sick about you the whole time. I didn't like it at all. But it's not jealousy, okay?" He smiled. "Okay." He caught her at the elbow and pulled her back as she resumed walking. "But you were worried about me?" "Very. Worried sick." "Kyun?" She narrowed her eyes at him. Then smiled that sickly sweet smile again and patted his cheek like one would do to a little child. "Tum nahin samjhoge." That should teach him! She had not expected a particular reaction from him but it amused her to see he was liking the taste of his own medicine. And seeing him smile again... It was like someone had breathed the life back into her... He tucked her hand in the crook of his arm. "Chalo." He took her only right across the street, in the small cosy caf she had wanted to go to but they hadn't had the time because of Gayu Di's exhibition and then the whole mess Naman Chachu had created... "How did you know I wanted to come here?" Kartik smiled but did not answer her question. "I heard the ice cream and waffles are really good here." Naira opened the menu and wrinkled her nose. "Everything is written in German... I can't even understand-" "What do you want to have?" He nodded attentively at her list and called for the waiter. Then he completely took her by surprise when he gave the order in... German? She watched him puzzled and he gave her a sheepish shrug when the waiter moved away. "Don't look at me like that, I just know the basics, to survive only. Koyi pro nahin hoon main." She bit her lip to try and hide a smile. "Yahaan aane ke liye?" He shook his head. "Nahin, pehle se..." His expression turned serious for a moment. "Naira... You were right. There are a lot of things you don't know about me and... Maine bhi tumhaare kabhi kuchh share nahin kiya. Main karna chaahta hoon lekin..." He fell silently, frowning at the table top and she leaned against him to rest her head on his shoulder. "It's okay, Jai. Tum bataana nahin chaahte toh theek hai." He rested his cheek against the top of her head whereas his arm went around her shoulders to draw her closer, against the chilly night. "No, Naira. I want to tell you. Everything. It's just... a bit difficult... Pehle kissi se isske baare mein kabhi baat nahin ki maine toh... I need some time... Is that okay?" She looked up at him again, feeling a smile play on her lips to mirror his hesitant one. "Hmm. Theek hai. Take your time, Jai." He looked down, lips pursed and absent-mindedly started playing with the end of the plait she had put her hair in. "Jai?" His eyes turned to hers and for an instant it was like she had been hit with something but she caught herself in time. "Aaj se, abhi se... I'll always be there you, Jai. Koyi bhi kuchh bhi kahe, main sabse pehle tum pe hi vishvaas karoongi. Promise." He looked like he was touched, he had that look on his face... She pretended to think. "Haan but, mere Papa tumse pehle. Aur meri Mamma bhi. Aur Bhai-" "Shut up!" he grinned. She grinned back at him. There, she had him back. Her Jai. Her best friend. Her Kartik. Hers. He belonged to her. Another thing she would not admit out loud, she had been jealous when Gayu Di had told her about that thing in the snow with Kartik... Just a little bit! Because... well, he was her best friend. He was friends with Gayu Di too, she knew that, but still, her best friend. And she had planned to spend the day with him, she had thought she would get him to forgive her or pelt him with snowballs. Maybe she'd have pelted him with them even if he had forgiven her. But he had gone and done it all with someone who was not her while she had looked for him, not enjoying one moment of it... She did have the right to feel jealous about that, didn't she? Not wanting to share her best friend was not wrong? He pulled a face as he set his cup of coffee back on the table and she realised she had been so lost in her thoughts she hadn't even seen the waiter bring their order. "Kya hua?" she asked him. "Was it too hot?" Kartik shook his head. "Nahin, utni buri bhi nahin hai. Bas... your coffee is much much better!" She could not help but laugh at this. "Bas, bas! Thoda maskha kal ke liye bhi bacha ke rakkho varna bread sookha khaana padega." He smirked and winked at her before digging into his waffle but she only stared at it for a minute, her fingers in a tense knot on her lap. She hoped he wouldn't notice as she sneaked a glance at him. No, Mr Bhukkad Mendhak was too taken with his food to notice. But she would have to do something about this. These messy feelings. God knew what had happened to her... She had never been nervous around him, not even when she had first met him. Toh phir... kya hai yeh sab? Writer: ShikhaKhushi

http://jodifiction.blogspot.com/2019/07/kaira-os-kho-gaye-hum-kahan-kartik.html

[travelling-accountant]

New Post has been published on https://www.travellingaccountant.net/achievies/countries-visited/australia/7-species-of-wildlife-spotted-on-kangaroo-island/

7 species of Wildlife spotted on Kangaroo Island

As you will notice when reading my blogs, we love to go search for wildlife during our holidays. Kangaroo Island turned out to be one of the best places to do so. To give you an idea of what you may encounter, I’ve listed the main ones below.

Kangaroo

Of course, how could it not be… One thing’s for sure: it’s pretty clear where the Island’s got its name from. There is even no need to “search”, you encounter them all the time. We’re not complaining though – it’s an amazingly weird animal and every time we saw one, we were still thrilled. As a side note: apparently the KI kangaroo is smaller than the species on the mainland.

Wallaby

The kangaroo’s little brother was numerously presented as well. When you have seen both the kangaroo and the wallaby, the difference is pretty obvious – but in the beginning we didn’t have clue, to be honest. Wallabies are typically seen when dusk is starting to set in.

Koala

Another amazing inhabitant of Kangaroo Island is of course the koala. It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die!!! Initially we were looking high in the tree tops of the bushes in the areas known for koalas. But it turned out we could find them a lot easier than that. We were lucky enough to see one with her young in a tree just on the side of the road. The young was learning how to grab some leafs for the smaller twigs, by crawling over its mother’s back. Amazing! But afterwards, on the Heritage Walk (in Flinders Chase National Park) that we did around 4pm in the afternoon, there was a male sitting at less than 3 meters from us (no, I’m not exaggerating – the picture below is evidence!). Needless to say we took way too many pictures of him. And then, all of a sudden, he’s making this pig-like loud noise. They do that for marking their territory, we learned. Unforgettable!

Echidna

I didn’t know this one before we went there. It looks like a larger hedgehog, but has this longer thin muzzle that it’s using to look for ants and termites. Again – cute!!! We were lucky enough to spot one during the Platypus Waterholes hike that we started at around 9am, when Flinders Chase NP opened. But it’s really not easy to distinguish from all the twigs and leafs on the ground. We saw a second one when we did the night tour at Hanson Bay Wildlife Sanctuary. It was not too dark yet, so were able to get a better picture of it.

Goanna

Goanna is a kind of big lizard. It’s a pretty ancient species and is so cool to watch. When it has spotted you (and of course it does way before you spot it), it stops moving. But if you’re patient enough, it starts moving again and that’s the best part of it. We saw two of them during our stay, one in the bush and one on a parking lot.

Cockatoo

There was a time when we weren’t really interested in birds, but over time we have been starting to look at the different bird species more and more. In Belgium we don’t see a lot of colourful birds, so we think they’re pretty boring – but when making our trips we recognized that there are actually a lot of pretty birds out there. And the pink and white cockatoo that we saw in KI certainly is one of those. They move in huge flocks, so when they fly up it’s a blur of white and pink, which is really nice to see. And we think they look pretty slick with their head feathers pulled back nice and tight 😉

Opossum

As you will probably know, opossums are nocturnal, so we only saw them when we did the night tour at Hanson Bay Wildlife Sanctuary. During the walk we saw two of them looking down at us from the treetops (I know, the picture below doesn’t stand out in quality, but that’s the best we could get it: to not annoy the animals too much, the guides pull their flash lights back from the animals after a second or two). After the tour however, we saw a lot more of them… on the road. After a 1,5 hour car ride back to our cabin, a lot of them were crossing our path. Luckily we were driving 60 km per hour (max), because they just keep running right in front of the car! Cute: yes, smart: I don’t think so! Instead of going left or right (you know, maybe trying to get out of the car’s way?), they just kept going straight on, turning their heads at us like saying: “what the hell man, this is my territory”. We were very relieved when we made it back safe and sound, without hitting anything alive (because besides the possums also quite a few kangaroos and wallabies were coming out of all directions).

Other Countries we visited

Have a look at the other countries we ‘achievied’ to visit, and other Achievies…

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Antigua & Barbuda

Aruba

Australia

Barbados

Canada

Colombia

Costa Rica

Curaçao

Dominican Republic

Greece

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