#I don’t want people to expect some sort of genius when i walk into a room because i’m not. i don’t even know what i’m doing

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

i get a lot of family friends or neighbours saying “you’re so impressive” and i get similar things from other people when i tell them what i’m doing and idk how to be like “nah it’s nothing” bc they always think i’m being humble or something but i just genuinely cannot conceive of the compliments they’re giving me. my essay was just nominated for an award and i appreciate that people like my work but that’s it

[verdantcrimson]

Kanna Natsu Idol Story - 1

Written by: Akira

Season: Spring

TL: verdantcrimson

Proofread: @revuestarlight

[Two years since ES was established. In a corridor of an ES building leading to the Starpro office]

Kanna: Thank you very much for helping me, Miss Anzu.

Kanna: As you can see, I am a child, so escaping from a situation where I am surrounded by a crowd of adults is difficult.

Kanna: Though, if I had used my head, I think I might have been able to escape, call for help, and have my pursuers apprehended.

Kanna: But using my brain on those people is a total hassle.

Kanna: A complete, and total, hassle.

Kanna: … Yes? No, I’m not lost. 

Kanna: So you’re the type of person that judges people based on their appearance, right.

Kanna: No, I’m not criticizing you. Just categorizing.

Kanna: I find talking to other people to be a hassle.

Kanna: Ideally, I would like to be able to have a conversation by categorizing people as much as I can, and then only using a fixed set of phrases that correspond to that category.

Kanna: I want to have conversations using only a set of standardized phrases, like: “For sure”, “Maybe”, “That’s nice”, and the like.

Kanna: A computer could do that. It could handle things with just some numbers and a program.

Kanna: Why can’t the same method of operation work for humans?

Kanna: Ah, It’s okay. I wasn’t actually looking for an answer from you. It was just a question I asked myself, and presented.

Kanna: Please don’t worry. I will think for myself and find the answers to all of my questions.

Kanna: Yes. I have no expectations of you, or anyone else.

Kanna: Now, if you would excuse me. And really, thank you very much for helping me out just now.

Kanna: … Hm. Yes, what is it?

Kanna: Quite the annoyance you—

Kanna: Aren’t. Yes, yes, how can I help you?

Kanna: Yes. No, I’m affiliated with ES.

Kanna: I’m Kanna Natsu, and I’ve recently begun working as an idol here.

Kanna: Yes. People say that I’m like a stray cat that can’t quite get used to humans. It means I am ‘Natsu Kanna-ected’ with and don’t miss other people. Quite interesting, right?

Kanna: Would it be better if I had laughed? But that would be a hassle.

Kanna: I think my life would be much easier if I at least learned to smile politely, but that really is such a hassle.

Kanna: Yes. Ah, you know about me? I thought so too.

Kanna: I have long since concluded that I am like an exotic creature that has a tendency to make the headlines of newspapers and magazines.

Kanna: The people pursuing me earlier were magazine reporters that have been following me around recently.

Kanna: The entertainment industry is a world where you could throw a stone into the crowd and hit a genius, quite literally, so I didn’t see the need to bring it up.

Kanna: When humans see something behaving oddly, it’s surprising and interesting to them, it seems.

Kanna: That sort of sensibility, I envy it.

Kanna: Ah, I wasn’t being sarcastic. I honestly envy it. It’s quite tedious to have to add a note clarifying my intent at the end of each and every sentence.

Kanna: Hm. Eh? You’re asking me if I’m a celebrity…?

Kanna: So you only knew who I was because of me being a new idol, Miss Anzu? You remember seeing my name and face on the roster?

Kanna: I get it. Yes, I see you are that kind of person. I understand now.

Kanna: So. It seems I have overestimated my importance.

Kanna: That’s right. There are people who don’t know who I am. Heh.

Kanna: Ah, that was my first laugh in fifteen days. Tomorrow, my facial muscles are going to be sore.

Kanna: Thank you very much. I was able to have a rare experience.

Kanna: …Hm? Yes, anything else?

Kanna: I am an ES-affiliated idol, so you should know that it isn’t out of the ordinary for me to be walking around here.

Kanna: Do you not understand this? It would be a hassle if you didn’t.

Kanna: Hm. So you thought that there might still be reporters remaining around the area? You thought to call for security, just in case?

Kanna: ……

Kanna: “A kind and gentle person”, “A respectable member of society”, “A very noble, goddess-like person”.

Kanna: Of these three, which do you prefer?

Kanna: I would like to present you with an evaluation. Because I appreciate your concern, and your words are commendable.

Kanna: However. I am inexperienced at communicating with people, so I don’t know which words would be most touching.

Kanna: That is why, I would like you to pick what words I should give you.

Kanna: That is all. ...Is that wrong of me to do?

[mistressoftheelderitchwhorehouse]

Should Have Said Yes

A/N: Brought to you by listening to the Nicotine Dolls.

TW: Clit pinching, voyeurism, toxic relationship

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Pairing: Unrequited! Ranpo x Reader, Dazai x Reader

Reader Type: Black coded, AFAB, Plus sized

-------------------------------------

Ranpo was an arrogant man. He was well aware about this fact about himself. Most people would call him foolish, and expect him to fix his behavior. But at 26 he saw no reason to, as he almost always gathered the exact results he wanted.

Success and praise were the two things that Ranpo lived for. Money was fine, and snacks were amazing, but nothing quite made his brain radiate absolute joy the way that praise did.

Your praise in particular always made him feel euphoric. He took your honeyed words to heart, and hoarded them away where he could always reflect on them whenever he wished.

Then came some day in summer. It'd been one of those days where he swore everything that could go wrong did go wrong. He was sweating in his clothes, hungry, and all he wanted to do was get the fuck out of the office.

"Ranpo!" He looked up sharply from his bag as you walked up. You had sweat trickling down your temple, but you looked pretty relaxed either way. "Did you wanna go get drinks tonight?"

He stared at you for a moment. Your curls were in a bun and tucked with a sunflower. You had donned on some makeup, and your bottom lip was bruised. You had also changed from your usual attire to a sundress that honestly worked perfectly with your chubby figure.

"Don't you have a date?"

"Huh?"

He gestured to your person. "Probably at that place by the flower shop. You only get your flowers from there."

You touched the flower gently, the yellow contrasting with your dark skin. He rid his best not to stare too hard when you grinned at him. "Right as always, Ranpo. So is that a yes?"

"No." He tossed his bag over his shoulder. "I plan on going to sleep after this. Besides, I don’t like being the third wheel on a date."

"Well it's-"

"Besides, whoever you're going with seems to make you nervous. I don't want to be there for that sort of awkwardness."

He knew he was wrong the moment the words left his mouth. Your lips had pursed and eyebrows furrowed, but taking it back or finding something softer to say didn't matter. What's done was done. He went home, took his shower, and thoughts of what could have been danced in his head.

The next morning he saw you again. Your clothes were disheveled, actually they were the same from the day before. You had just tossed a shawl over your top, and plucked the flower out of your hair.

Your date must have went well.

He pushed any jealous feelings to the side and continued with his own work. However, being a genius detective, it hardly took much to realize you would giggle when Dazai would whisper something to you, or insisted on touching your hips or hands.

It didn't stop after that day either. The next day, a week, amd a month later their behavior continued. With their behavior came the onslaught of bitterness deep in his gut.

He never knew Dazai to actually stay in a relationship. He knew him to be the type to fuck anything with a pulse, and Ranpo honestly wouldn't put it past him to set even that requirement aside if push came to shove.

However, any and all suspicions were confirmed when Ranpo needed ink for the printer during the height of the summer. He went to the utility closet, his clothes sticking to him and the papers in his arms making it worse.

"Stupid printer. Why does it always run out when I need it-"

"Fuck! Just like that-Ah!"

He stopped his grumbling then.

That was your voice.

In fact, he could still hear your breathy moans despite something muffling them. He peered into the closet as the door was ajar, and found you laid out on an old table. Your skirt was pushed up and over your hips, and Dazai knelt between your legs, his face buried at your core. You had what was likely your panties in your mouth.

"I wouldn't have to gag you if you could keep quiet, Belladonna." Dazai said as he pulled back. "That or if we stopped meeting like this. Not that I mind. Making pretty girls like you cum is my favorite hobby, afterall. And to think you kept saying no to this."

He pinched your clit with two fingers, while he plunged three fingers of his other hand into your cunt. You shrieked around the panties, your thighs trembling. Dazai didn't let up the pressure, and made deep strokes in and out of your pussy until you stopped thrashing.

When you were finally spent and you laid there with your chest heaving, Dazai got to his feet. He unbundled his pants and pulled out his cock.

"My turn."

Ranpo grit his teeth and backed away from the door. The reality of his own actions began swirling in his mind, and the bitterness from before doubled down.

He was the world's greatest detective, and the world's greatest idiot.

[jomiddlemarch]

We are never ever getting back together

“Listen, ‘Mione, I’m just going to say it. We don’t work, love,” Ron announced, sitting on the armchair he’d dragged over to face the sofa in what was generally referred to as Hermione’s reading room at Grimmauld Place, in that it was the old library which she’d spent roughly a week scouring, sorting, and reshelving the books that hadn’t tried to bite or burn her Muggle-born hands. She’d Transfigured some of the uglier pieces of furniture from other rooms and made an approximated mash-up of her favorite parts of the Hogwarts Library and the Bodleian. She’d reached a détente with the only portrait that remained, some wizard ancestor of Sirius’s who could at least tolerate a witch with an appreciation for old runes who hadn’t tried to chuck the moldy lot of Hagalaz into the fireplace and who arranged a reading pedestal with an open book to alleviate the boredom of the past two hundred years. She had a bedroom on the third floor, down the hall from the bath, but she was most often found tucked up in a corner of the reading room, so it hadn’t taken any genius on Ron’s part to beard her in her den, so to speak.

The rest of the house was empty, which was either a wise precaution or the stupidest decision he’d ever made in his life.

“What do you mean?” Hermione said, trying to keep her voice even. “I don’t understand—”

“Yes, you do,” he said, looking up at her. He’d picked the chair with the low, squashy seat, that hadn’t taken the Transfiguration especially well, so that she’d focused on the nap of the dark velvet and let the springs go hang. It made him a supplicant, now, which she supposed was a canny decision, one she might expect from someone who was a grandmaster at Wizard chess. “You know and you and I both know you’d never say a word if it was left to you. We’d be married seventy years with a dozen curly-haired ginger grandchildren, and you’d sacrifice everything rather than say it.”

“You don’t want me,” Hermione said. He’d taken Padma to the Yule Ball and he’d left her with Harry when they were hunting Horcruxes—why was she surprised? It still felt like a Bludger to the chest or what she imagined one would be, having had no interest in playing Quidditch for the duration of her Hogwarts education and then having been forbidden (ha!) by Madame Pomfrey after Dolohov’s near-fatal curse in the Department of Mysteries. She tried to focus on Ron’s blue eyes, the furrow in his broad forehead. 

“You don’t want me, love,” Ron said. “I don’t want you to start calling me Ronald in that carefully not-exasperated-yet-totally-exasperated tone, bossing me about like you’re Molly Weasley Junior. I don’t want to squabble and fight and then be those people who are contemptuous or bored with each other. You’ll never walk away, you’re too loyal, not just to me but to the idea of us, and you can’t bear that it was a mistake. Your ideas got us through the War, saved everyone’s bloody lives, but this one’s wrong.”

“A mistake,” Hermione repeated. 

“Well, not a mistake. It made sense to try but it was only meant to be a date or two for us, don’t you think?” Ron said, giving her a wry smile. He needed a shave and a haircut and he’d put on a stone of pure muscle once they’d won the final battle. He was a man looking up at her and she was bedraggled and thin, a streak of white in her chestnut curls like a virgin priestess’s filet. The sleeves of her jersey flopped over her wrists to her knuckles. “Don’t take it so hard, it’s not your fault.”

“Seems like it is,” she muttered. “If you’re breaking up with me.”

“You know better than that,” Ron said. “Think about it—if we hadn’t been dealing with the possible end of the Wizarding world as we know if and the annihilation of the entire Muggle-born and Muggle population—”

“It’s called genocide, Ron,” she put in. He rolled his eyes.

“Fine, if we hadn’t been dealing with all that and the genocide and you having to hide your parents, et cetera, if it had been normal, we would have gone out a few times. A Hogsmeade weekend, a dance, a walk around the lake. We would have snogged without having to break it off to face down a melagomaniac—”

“Megalomaniac,” she corrected.

“Bloody Riddle. Anyway, we could have tried it out and seen that all there was was a flicker of attraction but mostly friendship,” Ron said. “I like you, ‘Mione, and I think you like me. That’s enough. We don’t have to be this perfect love story and you know we won’t be.”

“You have to work at relationships,” Hermione said.

“Not this bloody hard, love,” Ron said. The kindness in his voice was too close to pity and it hurt. 

“There’s no need to be rude,” she snapped.

“I don’t mean you’re difficult and I’m a saint, far from it,” Ron laughed. “I mean, we’re alike in all the ways that make it hard and not alike in the ways we need. You don’t have to work this bloody hard, ‘Mione, to be happy with someone and I truly think that if you weren’t with me, you’d be able to find the person you want.”

“I suppose you have someone you want to be with instead of me,” she said.

“Nope,” he said. “I just want to a chance to figure it out. To play, to not have everything be so bloody serious. Everyone pairing off and repopulating the entire Wizarding world before we turn twenty-one, for sweet Circe’s sake.”

“Your mother won’t like that,” Hermione said.

“She can stuff it,” Ron declared. “Besides, Fleur’s up the duff again and this time it’s twins, so that’s her sorted for a bit. Bill has his work cut out arguing that Shell Cottage can hold all of them and they don’t need to move closer to the Burrow. Plus, I think Ginny’s going to sign with the Harpies and Mum is up in arms about the first Weasley witch not to sit her NEWTs in like a thousand years, which is bosh because there weren’t NEWTs a thousand years ago.”

Hermione smiled. He was right, she did like him an awful lot, when the other parts weren’t clamoring for her attention or generally getting in the way.

“I’m right about that last bit, aren’t I?” Ron said. “The NEWTs bit?”

“Yes, they’re more recent than a thousand years,” Hermione said. She squared her shoulders and pressed her lips together. She had to like it or lump it and it seemed like lump it was the easier option at the moment.

“I don’t want you thinking it’s because I don’t find you attractive,” Ron said. He laid one big hand on her denim covered knee where her robes had fallen apart and she felt how warm he was. “Thinking about shagging you and then getting to do it were quite honestly the only things getting me through the worst of it these past few years. It’s why I left, innit, when the Horcrux was messing with me, being jealous, thinking you were with Harry when I wanted you all for myself. But that’s not going to be enough for us, for you or for me—”

“I’m to believe you’re being sincere?” Hermione asked. Ron grinned, squeezed her knee and the bit of her thigh that was right above it.

“I got there on my own about not being enough for you. George caught me moping, gave me some older brother advice and general whatfor, telling me I was a twit for thinking getting to shag the brightest witch of our time would be enough for me, that I wasn’t as shallow as that and to buck up,” Ron admitted.

“I would have thought Bill,” Hermione said.

“Nah, I wouldn’t have taken him seriously,” Ron said. “He married a half-Veela, what does he know about being with a regular witch? For the record and before you get your knickers in a twist, I’d say the same about Hagrid, it’s not anti-creature bias.”

“Seems to me you shouldn’t be mentioning my knickers,” Hermione retorted.

“That’s my girl,” Ron replied. “Though, my entire point was that I am quite enticed by your knickers and what’s in them. It’s just not enough for a long-term relationship and you and I, we aren’t made for a fling.”

“If we were, I think we must have flung it by now anyway,” Hermione said.

“We do have the house to ourselves if you’re interested in a last hurrah, love,” Ron said, waggling his eyebrows and smiling. It was the look in his eyes, an appreciative lust, that told her he wasn’t joking.

“And what would you do if I called your bluff and took you up on the offer?” Hermione asked.

“This,” he said, both hands suddenly at her waist, lifting her off the couch and onto his lap. “I’d have my way with you and give you something to remember me by while that git Draco works through a whatchamacallit redemption arc and gets up the gumption to make a move—”

“Draco Malfoy?” Hermione exclaimed. She ended up wrapping her arms around Ron’s neck to keep her balance. His were steady at her hips.

“He fancies you, that’s obvious,” Ron said. “But it is a two-way street. Maybe you’d prefer our snakeslayer Neville? He’s got a whole striding the windswept moors thing these days that’s rather dashing, like that Heath Ledger bloke you told me about in the Muggle book, but without the creepy parts. Or Zabini? Never took the Mark and he’s nearly as clever as you and mad fit.”

“You mean Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, who’s frankly not much like Neville in a good way. This is a very odd conversation to be having with my ex-boyfriend-and-undeclared-fiancé,” Hermione said. She left out how it was even odder than they appeared to be on the verge of shagging, as if that was something one could be on the verge of. 

“That’s why it’s best we’re about to be best friends,” Ron said, though the word friends was lost a little as he nuzzled the side of her neck. “I’ll have to cede all the filthy details to Ginny though. You can just give me the broad strokes, hm-mm, like that…”

It was all rather a blur after that, hands and lips and Ron muttering about how her skin felt like silk and a grand tussle over denims being pulled off and not Vanished, not this pair which he agreed made her arse look amazing, and she probably would have blushed to recall it afterward anyway, but Harry walking in, stopping dead in his tracks like he’d been hit with Petrificus Totalus, then choking out “You were breaking up—” before he fled the room made her almost wish she had not taken an iron-clad vow against ever using an Obliviate again. 

“He’ll get over it,” Ron said calmly enough after they’d finished, laughing madly like they were drunk on Firewhisky and not multiple orgasms. 

“And if he doesn’t?” Hermione said.

“You leave that to me, love. That’s what friends are for,” Ron said.

[naamahdarling]

Some people call bunnies Vegan Cats, so I was wondering if you would provide some professions for these two fluffs even though their servant (aka Mommy, aka me) didn’t follow directions?

Morphi is the white bunny with eyeliner and beauty mark- cuddled between his two loves: bowl and DeDe. Short for Morpheus Lord of Dreams He is a bit…stupid - usually has nothing but elevator music playing between his ears. Occasionally his two brain cells align and he is a mad genius until he inevitably moves and they fall out of alignment. He’s also a picky bitch and turns his nose up at certain greens and fruits. And expects humans to move out of his way when he is on the move. If you don’t do what he wants he will box you and then nip you. Methodically gets treats out of puzzles but will just stare blankly at you when you first offer him one from your hand. The vet and vet techs call him a little angel because he is so chill when they have to examine him or clip his nails.

DeDe is short for Death. She is a criminal mastermind with PTSD from having a rough kithood when she was dumped in a green space near our old house. We got her to a rescue and then adopted her when we moved in to our current place. She can tell time and will come get us if we are late for meals. She has claimed a large decorative knife I placed on a low shelf (she rubs her chin on it whenever she walks by). Dislikes having her picture taken. She loves Morphi but is a huge asshole to him (chases him, steals his treats and toys, kicks him out of their tent). It takes two vet techs to examine her or trim her nails, and has scratched the hell out of me for daring to pick her up. But she loves her manservant (aka Daddy, aka my partner), and will let him pick her up, comb her, and pet her.

They both love to hide behind furniture and pestered the ouija board box so much I had to remove said board and let them go hogwild on the box. Morphi likes to eat my clothes off the drying racks and DeDe eats any and all wires while I am rescuing my underwear. I love them with every inch of my being.

VEGAN CATS!!!

Morphi is the boy sidekick of the tough and plucky girl protagonist. Without him, plots would not advance and she would have nobody to confide in. Critically, while not the protagonist, the book is from his point of view, and his narration is so charming that the reader does not realize until some way in that he's a bit of a himbo. Were it not for Plot happening, he would be a househusband (husbun?), but would have some stuff going on the side. Like a really successful Youtube channel or something, where he shows off some sort of cool hobby like time lapse puzzle assembly or model railroading, or he might play the synthesizer and do off-genre covers of classical music.

DeDe is the supposed villain of the week, until she crops up in Season 3 as a real badass. She's not quite there yet, but is readying herself to make her play. That said, her rough background makes me feel like she isn't merely a villain, that perhaps she comes around, and joins the heroes' side. She is formidable, her methods are questionable, but she gets results. I'm seeing her as some sort of rogue or thief or cat burglar. Vegan Catwoman, almost. Someone who moves around stealthily or infiltrates by deception. She is hard to catch off-guard but can be very affectionate with those she has adopted for her own. Don't mess with her found family.

[yami268]

A Person's Nature Theme: Heart-to-Heart Talk Format: Short Story Characters: Lina Inverse (Slayers), Piper (Storm Hawks) Pairing: Slight Lina Inverse/Piper Rating/Warnings: K+ Words: 847 Other: After encountering a horrific experiment, Piper laments about it alone. At least until Lina comes and talks to her.

It had been very quiet as Piper sat in the kitchen by herself. Least to say she didn’t feel all that great after what she had seen that day. While investigating some disappearances on a terra, she, along with the Storm Hawks and some others, came across a hidden lab. They went inside, trying to find some sort of clue. But they didn’t expect to come across what they saw in there.

The sight of it was horrific. There were near-lifeless bodies with crystals embedded in them. Much to their luck, they also had found a person there and had managed to capture him. Then, they brought him to the local Sky Knight squadron who would be interrogating him. But even then, Piper still felt unnerved. She never thought that crystals could be capable of such horror.

As her head stewed in these thoughts, she snapped back when she heard the door open. Looking over, she saw Lina Inverse walking in with a yawn. She herself had taken notice of the other girl and said, “Hey, sneaking a late-night snack too?”

“… Help yourself.” She motioned her hand over to the fridge, which she made a dart towards. Watching her take almost everything out, Piper let out a sigh. In all honesty, she had found frustration with the self-proclaimed Sorceress Genius. She practically had an ego as big as Finn’s. Granted, she had the power to back it up, but it was very destructive, almost decimating an entire terra. Added to how careless and selfish she acted, she found her to be intolerable.

She then stared off elsewhere, her mind going back to what happened that day. Lina, after getting a sizable meal, took notice of this. “Let me guess, still mulling over what you saw?” Piper perked her head up before giving a slight nod after a while. Letting out her own sigh, she set her food down on the table before sitting herself. “Look, you can either talk about it or not. But continuing to dwell on it won’t be good in the long run.”

There was a long silence between the two as she remained still in her chair. Raising an eyebrow, Lina just shrugged and went on to eating. She managed to get a few bites before Piper slammed her hands on the table and stood up.

“How could he?!” she exclaimed, her voice almost cracking. “Like I’m not sure what he was trying to do. But trying to use people in such an abhorrent way?! Besides, crystals are supposed to help people! Make their lives better! That wasn’t helping! It was cruel and perverted!”

“… And I supposed you would rather be fine if it were Master Cyclonis doing it, huh?” Lina said, causing Piper to cringe. While the man doing the experiments seemed to have no allegiance, a part of her wanted it to be a Cyclonian plot. At least that would make sense. But she also knew that it would’ve been wrong for her to do so as there wasn’t any evidence to prove so.

After a while, she glanced over at her, clutching her arm. “Lina… How can you do it? Cast Black Magic, I mean.”

The question itself caused her to perk up as she began to think it over. “Well, I can’t say there isn’t cautioned to casting some spells and such. But I don’t think it’s that big of an influence. If anything, it’s most likely a balance between yourself and the powers you choose to wield.”

“But that’s just magic itself, right?” she said, almost shaking. “I always thought that crystals weren’t as capable of such agony, but those people- They looked so lifeless! What if crystals aren’t as good as I thought?! What if there’s a danger to them that no one has ever considered?! What if-?!”

Before she could continue, Lina walked over to her and embraced her tightly. After which, she spoke up, “Listen… Magic and Crystals, they’re only tools. And like any tool, people can use them regardless of whether they’re good or evil.” She then looked Piper straight in the eye with a somber look. “Piper, you are smart, and you know what’s right and wrong to a fault. If you use those things with your crystals, I’m sure that you won’t be like that man or Master Cyclonis.”

She stood there, stunned and getting a light blush on her face. As long as she knew her, she couldn’t imagine Lina saying something like that. But it did feel comforting. After a while, she smiled before saying, “Thanks… I think I needed to hear that.”

“No problem!” She patted her on the back before going back to her food. Then after grabbing it, she took her leave as Piper watched. She thought about the sorceress, thinking about how attractive she was. She still had those personality traits that made her cringe. But there was also something admirable about those as well.

So, Piper spent the rest of the night awake. This time, she was thinking over what Lina had said.

[broken-clover]

Glass Castles

I am distraught that I could not find the original prompt, but nonetheless I wanted to post this one. So, uh, to the person that asked for Ky-and-Sin bonding backfiring thanks to their messed up family history, I thank you for your patience, and I’m sorry I couldn’t find the proper post to respond to in order to post this

For the sake of covering the bases, I will include a warning for child abuse. Nothing graphic, but I thought it would be good to mention. Also, while not a content warning, this does get a little character-bashy in terms of Sol’s parenting skills

-

Father-son bonding time between Ky and Sin was still painfully awkward, and it didn’t take a genius to notice it. Even if Sin didn’t resent his father anymore, the two could still be very different people. Their one-on-one conversations tended to be short and awkward, even when they tried their best. There was no animosity, but something still made it impossible to fully bridge that gap.

Still, Ky did his best to try. He owed his son that much. Even just hearing his traveling stories was a delight, and those tended to be the best conversations they had. Sin would recount some bounty or another between himself and Sol, and he would listen, only interrupting every so often to laugh or offer a thought. Sin didn’t have to adore him as much as he did his mother, it only mattered that he knew his father loved him.

For what it was worth, Sin was a very impressive storyteller.

“-And- and then as soon as the old man and me started walking away, the Gear reared right back up and started shooting these big tentacle things everywhere from the spot where I knocked off its leg!”

Despite the odd phrasing at times, Sin spoke with such enthusiasm that it was hard to not get swept into his excitement. His paternal instincts took some worry in hearing about the harrowing situations his son often ended up in, but Sin regarded them all with a strange fondness after the fact, no matter how rough some of his incidents ended up becoming.

“Luckily the old man still had his sword in his hand, but I got stuck like ten feet in the air hanging by my ankles until he stabbed it a bunch! He was so cool! Hurt a lot when I hit the ground, though. So, uh, what’s up with you?”

And that was where their conversations tended to lag. It was a well-meaning question, it just wasn’t one that tended to lead anywhere.

“Nothing interesting, I’m afraid, just a lot of politics I doubt you’ll find especially interesting.”

“Bleh. Yeah, no thanks.” Sin laughed, sticking out his tongue to exaggerate his distaste.

Ky thought for a moment. “Although, I suppose it is a minor thing, in my free time I’ve been trying to sort the boxes of your things that I have in storage. I wasn’t sure if or when you’d have interest in taking any of it with you, but either way, I wanted to make sure it was kept in a safe spot.”

He hadn’t expected that to be much different than his first response, but to his surprise, Sin was unusually attentive. “Huh, really? I didn’t know there was anything, you find anything neat?”

“Well, I didn’t dig too deeply into them, I was just trying to put them in the closet,” he replied. “I don’t imagine there’ll be much in there aside from some old baby clothes, but I don’t mind digging it out if you’re interested.”

His son looked down at him with bright, curious eyes, and nodded. “Oh. Uh, alright, I suppose if you’re interested…?”

Ky led him to the bedroom that he and Dizzy shared, ignoring the paper-covered desk and mussed bedsheets in favor of the closet. Past the hanging clothes and spare boots, everything was exactly where he’d left it from organizing. He pulled out several stacked bins, plastered with labels like ’Sin’s nursery’ and ’Outgrown clothing’ he’d written out himself. As soon as one was within arm’s reach, Sin eagerly pulled the lid back and started skimming through old baby pajamas.

“Damn, it’s weird to think I was so tiny.” He hung a tiny cloth bootie from one finger, nearly filled just from that. “Babies have feet this small? Seriously? How’d this ever fit me?”

“You did grow up a lot faster than most children. If you didn’t, I think you’d be about half the size you are right now!”

“Man…” Sin felt some instinctive embarrassment at all the little frilly dresses and jumpers that his parents no doubt took full delight in making him wear, but something about it was so intriguing that it didn’t phase him.

His hand bumped against something solid buried deeper in the box. When he fished it out, he found some odd star-shaped thing made of wood. The purpose of it eluded him until he noticed a string coming off the top that led back into the mess of felt and lace. It connected to something similarly firm, then another, then more, all in different directions, until he was left holding a tangle of wood and cord.

It took him several moments to even recognize it was supposed to be a mobile. Several of the strings were tied shorter than the others, making the whole thing appear lopsided, no matter what angle he looked at it. The stars and clouds were oddly shaped and lacquered sloppily, making the colors run together.

Ky chuckled to himself. “My goodness, somehow I’d forgotten all about that one.”

“It’s funky! Where’s you get it?”

“I made it. Well, uh, most of it. I bought the music player from a friend at work, but I carved all the hanging pieces myself. I didn’t have much experience with woodworking…though I suppose that’s clear enough just from looking at it.”

“Nah, I think it’s cool!” Sin poked at one of the dangling trinkets.

“I’m glad. The first time I tried hanging it over your crib, you started crying. Your mother said it was a coincidence, but I didn’t try again. I wonder if it still works….?”

Ky felt along the main body where all the strings hung from. He twisted a metal key on the side, and a quiet melody started to play.

“Woah. Didn’t know you like, made stuff.”

“When I was working for the police, I did have a bit more time to try and foster hobbies, at least at first. Woodworking and painting were the only things I seem to recall pursuing to the point where I actually had things to show for it.”

Sin was grinning, but it faded as he turned the words over in his head. ‘At first.’ There had been a reason he’d lost any spare time, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what. He tried to his his expression, but Ky quickly picked up on his discomfort.

“No, no. It’s not like that. I took on a lot more responsibilities at work even before we had you, that isn’t something you have any reason to feel guilt over. Please.”

He wasn’t sure how much he believed it, but when his father reached out to hug him, he let it happen.

“It’s not my fault? Even when you got all sick?”

“No. None of it. And it wasn’t your fault when we had to send you to live with Sol. I only became sick because someone didn’t like that I loved your mother. Or you. And if it would ensure your safety, I would have gladly sacrificed more. I…I didn’t want to send you away, but this was no place for a child. I wouldn’t have been able to keep you safe. As much as it hurt…In some regard, I suppose I’m happy you weren’t able to see me at such a low point.”

“Heh, come on…” Sin half-chuckled, clearly trying to hide his uneasiness. “Everyone learns their dad isn’t some invincible god at some point, right?

“I suppose that’s fair.” Ky nodded. “Still, in many ways, that should not be the burden of someone so young. I had wanted to give you a happy childhood, filled with as few worries as I could manage. But raising a kingdom was a labor I could have never imagined. It came with a psychological toll that, despite all my training, I was too weak to manage. I fell into some…bad habits in my attempts to keep sane, things I would never want a young child to have to deal with.”

Sin wanted to say something, but none of the words coming to mind were meaningful. He tried thinking deeper, but found himself too distracted by fuzzy memories of half-empty bottles in his father’s study, and the man’s longstanding habit of long sleeves and covering robes.

“But…but you’re better now, right?”

Another nod, this one with a warm smile. “I’d like to think so. I wake up in the morning with happiness and a sense of purpose. It gives me peace of mind knowing you and your mother are both happy and healthy. I truly am a blessed man.”

“Augh, don’t do that, you’ve got the voice you always do whenever you’re about to start one of your speeches!” Sin gave his father a mostly-playful smack to the arm. “Don’t wanna waste too much time anyway, didn’t you say you have a ship to catch?”

“Not until tomorrow afternoon, don’t worry. I have plenty of time.” Ky picked the mobile up from the floor and put it back in the bin. “Zepp can wait. I’m spending time with you.”

“Do you take the funky shuttle thing to get up there?”

His father paused in confusion. “The shuttle? You’ve been to Zepp before? Did Sol take you?”

Sin burst into an even bigger grin, nodding so hard the eyepatch nearly slipped off. He was glad to be back on the anecdotes, instead of mulling over his familial issues. “A few times! It was a lot of fun! Was a while ago, think it was the time with the tree…?”

“‘The time with the tree?’ Now that sounds interesting, have you told me that story already?” Ky found a more comfortable spot on the floor to sit and listen.

Sin was just happy to have the conversation somewhere else. “I dunno! I don’t think so, but it’s a funny one! Promise you’ll like it!”

“I’m sure I will.” Said Ky. “So what was so important about the tree?”

“Spoilers! Uh, um, actually, I guess it doesn’t matter. So the thing is, we were just coming back from turning in a bounty. Or maybe getting the list? I dunno, that part doesn’t matter. So, the old man goes inside, and he leaves me outside by this tree to wait so he can go get whatever it is. And this whole group of kids starts showing up and looking at me funny, kept trying to mess with my eyepatch. I ended up getting really pissed and then we were all just yelling at each other and going at it! Whole mess, whole thing was just a big mess.

Then, outta nowhere comes the old man! Guess he heard the noise, I don’t think he had anything with him when he came out. But he saw that I was getting into some stuff and- haha- he wound right up, grabbed me, and threw me right into the trunk!”

“He…he threw you into a tree?”

“I know, right?” Sin laughed. “I flew right into it!”

But Ky wasn’t laughing. He wasn’t smiling. He was looking at him with horror in his eyes.

Immediately, Sin backpedaled. “It- it didn’t hurt, not really!”

“Why did he do that to you?”

“He was just trying to keep me in line!”

“‘In line’...?” Ky didn’t look any more assured by that. “Did he even try to talk to you first?”

Sin paused. “No, was he supposed to?”

He didn’t get a reply. The silence was enough of an answer. This was the opposite of what Sin had wanted.

“Dad…” He watched Ky move to stand up. “Dad!”

“I just need to have a talk with your grandfather, Sin.” Ky replied. “I won’t pretend I know everything about parenting, but beating up a child just isn’t something you do, Gear or not.”

“H-he was just fixing the problem! And it’s not like it was any worse than playing around.”

“Was he acting like it was a game? Was he acting like it was supposed to be fun?”

Sin wilted further. “Uh, no, not really…”

“Then it wasn’t playing around, I- I…” Ky took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I sound like I’m upset with you. But none of this is your fault. I just wish I had known sooner…”

It wasn’t much of a relief. Sin wished he hadn’t said anything. He hoped his father would drop the issue, but he knew better than to think that was a realistic outcome.

“Does he do things like that to you frequently? Does he hit you when you won’t do what he wants?”

“Not anymo- no, no he doesn’t!” He immediately corrected himself as soon as Ky’s expression shifted. “Y’know, it was pretty normal stuff! I got too loud when he told me to sit down and be quiet, or I get rowdy around other kids, y’know, normal stuff!”

“But never after asking you politely to stop? Never explaining why it was wrong? Sin, this is a serious thing, this isn’t normal!”

“I-it’s- he-” Sin stumbled over his words, trying to find a way to de-escalate. “It’s okay! It’s okay! He should have done it!”

His father froze, the doorknob to the hallway half turned.

“What on earth do you think could justify that, Sin?”

“Because I’m a Gear!” He shouted. “I need to be reined in. I’m dangerous, right?”

++++++

Sol was half-reclined into the plush sofa of Ky’s office. The expensive bottle of whiskey that had been stashed under the king’s desk was lazily discarded to the next seat over, drained of every drop. Several cans accompanied it, clinking against one another in the moments where he shifted to sprawl out and find a comfier position.

He could hear Ky’s storming footsteps from several halls away, but he made no motion to get up. He was familiar with Ky’s anger, whatever this was, Sol was certain he could defuse it. Or, at least, make it go away.

The office door was flung open and slammed into the far wall. Just as expected, the man’s expression was utterly livid.

“Gonna break something if you keep doing that.”

“Sol. Outside. Now.”

“Sure, sure, whatever. Just lemme finish this drink.”

An errant lightning spark knocked the can right out of his hand. “No. Now.”

“What the-” he looked between the can on the floor and Ky. “Kid, I’m not gonna-”

The other man didn’t even wait for him to speak. Ky grabbed him by the base of his ponytail and started yanking. All he could think to do was let himself be dragged. Ky’s temper had caused him all sorts of problems over the years, and he debated whether or not this was one instance where he could brush it off with slung insults, or if the man had earned himself something worse for the rough handling.

He was dragged all the way out to the courtyard, and by then, he had decided that Ky absolutely deserved whatever barbecuing he had coming. The only reason he didn’t immediately start as soon as he was let go was the sight of Sin, unexpectedly perched on the grass with an uncharacteristic timidness.

”’Dangerous.’ That’s what Sin thinks he is. What you taught him that he is.”

Sol looked between the father and his son. What was this all about? “What, you want your kid growing up thinking the fact that he can shake off getting struck by lightning is normal? Sounds like a great way to end up with someone’s arm getting ripped off on accident, boy-scout.”

“Put away the smart remarks and listen to me.” Neither Ky’s face nor his voice held any sense of levity. “I’m not a foolish child anymore. I know there are just some situations that can’t be dealt with through polite discussion. But there’s a difference between using force as a last resort and beating up a child that doesn’t know better.”

“What- ‘beating up?’ I never beat the kid up. Sure, I had to discipline him a couple times, but-”

“I can’t believe I have to say this to you, but hitting children isn’t okay! It’s not! Even if they’re misbehaving, you don’t hit them! You teach them what they’re doing is wrong, and they learn from it!”

Sol watched Sin wince in discomfort. He suddenly looked far smaller than his appearance typically suggested.

“It was just the best option at the time-”

“‘Best,’ or easiest?” Ky snapped.

Sol offered no response. None of the thoughts coming into his head seemed like they would be satisfactory. Ky was storming back and forth across the grass, almost more preoccupied with himself than with the person he was chewing out.

“Part of me is just…disappointed. So unbelievably disappointed. I trusted you, Sol. Did that not mean anything? Was this some displaced spite you held towards me? I genuinely hope so- the only other thought being that you held such a level of contempt for Sin, someone who had never done anything to earn it. You can’t tell me in full honesty that you thought this was right!”

“D-dad, it’s okay…”

“Look, I get it, okay? I half-assed it, and I fucked up your kid. But I don’t hate him, okay?? I might not have tried hard enough-”

“No.” Ky waved him down. “That’s not good enough. That’s not an excuse. You can blame laziness for the first few times, but you went far beyond that. Over the long-term, apathy and malice are indistinguishable. ‘Hard enough??’ You weren’t trying at all! You never saw how you were influencing Sin?!”

For once, Sin looked like the five-year-old that he was. His face was scrunched and reddening with repressed tears, and any way he could fold in on himself, he did.

“Don’t look at him, look at me. This isn’t something that’s going to go away, Sol. I can tolerate how you’ve treated me in the past. In some ways, I knew better. But this is inexcusable. I trusted you more than anyone to raise my son. And you hurt him. I’m not going to forgive you.” The king turned his back and started to walk away. “You are not welcome in Illyria Castle anymore. I’m going to give you five minutes to take your things and leave, or I will have you escorted out by force.”

Sol balked, completely thrown off by the statement. “Ky, this is ridiculous. You’re being stupid. You’re the diplomat, you’re not gonna talk through this?”

“This is not a negotiation, this is an order.”

“I’m not a citizen here, you’re not in charge of me. I don’t have to do what you say.”

Though he couldn’t see Ky’s face, he could hear the way that he scoffed. “I’m not giving you an order as a king, I’m giving you an order as a disappointed friend who’s going to kill you where you stand if you push your luck any further. LEAVE.”

Sin was a crying mess, and all Sol could do was stand around in bewilderment.

“Part of me is happy to know that you never spent a day raising your own daughter.” Ky hissed, his voice pure poison. “At least Sin didn’t know you two were related. How much would you have taught Dizzy to hate herself?”

Sol glowered at the man��s retreating form. He threw himself into motion and started stomping toward him.

“Kid, you can’t just-”

“I SAID LEAVE!” A bolt of lightning slammed into the ground, missing him by a mere few inches. It wouldn’t have killed him, but Sol could tell that Ky was making no attempt to restrain himself.

Though he was panting from the exertion, Ky’s voice and gaze were ruthlessly cold. “Sol. Get out of my house. Now. And you had best not try to come back anytime soon. Unless you have a very good reason for me to change my mind.”

[fangerine]

sharing thoughts on the last of us ep. 2 (spoilers ahead):

if last week’s episode was about establishing the characters and heart of the show, last night’s episode was about establishing the “game” mechanics of this world. and holy shit, were these mechanics just as brutal and inventive as the game, even with the changes made.

once again, this show is doing such a good job of taking what works in the game but wouldn’t work in this medium, and not just doing away with it but IMPROVING upon it. craig and neil are right: spores just wouldn’t work in this version of this world. from personal experience, i can also tell you that filming people in gas masks like that is kind of a pain. “bUt EvAnGeLiNe, WhAt AbOuT mAnDo???!!!”, you might say. and yeah, it’s not impossible to film people in masks, mando uses a helmet, not a clear gas mask that fogs up, and is much more uncomfortable than the mando helmet imo. it’s not about money and seeing actors faces (which is also money lol) as much as it’s about practicality and creating something realistic.

but let me tell you, craig, neil, and co. MAKE UP FOR IT. replacing spores (which is a great in-game mechanic, don’t get me wrong) with tendrils and this concept of the wood wide web is GENIUS, and TERRIFYING. in-game, spores work more as interesting locations because it’s much more plausible in a video game to have isolated locations like that. when you’re playing, you just rationalize that spores only exist in these dark, damp, places and can’t survive elsewhere. but when you’re dealing with live action television??? not so much, in my opinion.

what’s much more believable is that this infection is everywhere. it’s rooted in the ground. it makes you watch your step every second. at the beginning of the episode, i was intrigued as to why the camera was so focused on their feet, because the cameraman sure as hell wasn’t quentin tarantino. yeah, they’re walking but they’re gonna be walking the entire fucking show. that’s right, death stranding, the last of us walked so you could walk some more.

adding this aspect to the world is so much more scary than spores. the fact that you could wake up a hoard of infected m i l e s away because the tip of your foot slightly crunches a piece of the big ol’ cordycep pie. that was a bad joke, sorry.

but we must get to the elephant in the room: tess.

first off, can we get a moment of silence for a bad ass bitch???

...

okay, so i love that this show is taking the time and taking advantage of this medium to expand on her character. nothing about her time in the two episodes felt like filler. anna torv gave it her all knowing that this journey would not last long, and i love her for that. 

but i really want to talk about her death. we (people who played the game) all knew it was coming but i don’t think i expected it to be so utterly disturbing, which brings me to the tendrils.

they are literally the grossest fucking thing to ever grace my monitor screen, and i’ve pulled up the perverse family (fuck you, tiny meat gang and also, i am please begging you to not look it up...or do, i can’t tell you what to do). 

anyways, for tess’ last scene to be like THAT is really saying something. there’s something so haunting about how that clicker looked at her. how it slowly moved towards her, almost giving this “look” of recognition. this “look” of, “you’re one of us now.”. the “kiss” was a forceful invitation of sorts but tess, with every last inch of her humanity, denied that invitation by being the bad ass bitch she is, and blowing up the place.

poetic cinema, ya’ll. poetic. fucking. cinema. the world of tlou is characterized by the fact that humans are so willing to turn on each other. sarah wasn’t taken because she got infected. she got taken by the fear and selfishness of humanity. it’s a bleak picture but god, does naughty dog paint it with beautifully tragic strokes.

on the other side, though, we have the infected. although grotesque, horrific, and deathly, they are now operating under this hive mind. will they rip you to shreds? oh, definitely. but are they doing it together? absolutely. it just creates this really horrible but well-crafted idea that the enemy, is truly each other, and the infected are really just this scary obstacle. but maybe their togetherness will help humanity come together, once again, to create a more hopeful future.

[riverstardis]

who cares?:

looks like i am going to be carrying on with these

pretty sure this is the ep where ethan treats that doctor who kid

yeah it is!!

the grandma calling him doctor🥺

“are we walking or taking the tardis”🥺🥺

the kid asking ethan about being a doctor i love this scene “do you like being a doctor?” “yeah, most of the time” “i wanna be a doctor when i grow up” “what area of medicine are you going to specialise in?” “time travel” “i see, that kind of doctor”

i remember seeing someone say that when they made ethan a big dw fan it was a retcon bc he’s not a fan in this episode but i don’t think that’s true at all bc he immediately knows what the kid’s talking about (tho tbf i think most british people probably would, but like it took fenisha a few seconds to realise the joke in the comic con ep it wasn’t immediate) and he says “allons-y” when they’re setting off in born lucky so they were definitely writing him as at least actively watching doctor who. also in the comic con ep he wasn’t expecting to see anyone from work there and he was embarrassed when he saw fenisha so it seems realistic to me that he just didn’t want to mention it at work, because why would he? just because he didn’t say anything about being a fan himself in this ep doesn’t mean he wasn’t one. another possibility is that his love for dw had a resurgence after cal’s death given how they used to watch it together growing up🥲

“which, for those of us who aren’t doctors“—he looks at the grandma—“is a posh way of saying a broken arm” yeah cause the kid’s a doctor too🥺🥺🥺🥺

dixie, jeff, and big mac roleplaying to prepare for dixie’s hearing thing sjskdkfkfk

“okay i am really sorry, it was misjudged. i’ll never follow my heart again. i will become a robot and care a little less about patients with every passing day, okay?” big mac: “… shall we try that again?” while jeff just stares at her lmaooo

connie keeps offering to do paperwork and sort out complaints and stuff and then making suggestions about it and zoe’s just letting her do it because she’s swamped but she’s always rolling her eyes whenever connie’s just asked her something meanwhile connie just looks at her in disbelief after she’s turned her back ig because she’s surprised that zoe’s letting her essentially take over so easily skskdkdkdj

lmaooo the paramedics get called to a nearby street and mac’s like “it’s hardly worth taking the ambo” and jeff’s like “nah good point, we’ll call em back shall we? tell em to stop being so lazy”

“well look i’m not saying that zoe did wrong but, i don’t know i suppose it’s the surgeon in me but, really, i think you and i know that chest should’ve been opened immediately. and on top of her game so would zoe. surprised she didn’t have the confidence” connie subtly trying to get ash on side ready for her coup

LMAO louise saying “who am i gonna annoy now?” bc dixie’s been suspended and dixie goes “everyone you come into contact with”

connie inviting zoe out for some wine and zoe going “what like a date?” sjskdkfkfk well they certainly have the tension for it

fletch and max organising for the kid and his family to watch doctor who in hdc🥺🥺🥺

connie getting zoe drunk on wine while she barely drinks any to get her sharing her worries and feelings and openly complaining about clinical lead stuff is actually evil genius level scheming like oh my god

on a related note i would LOVE to see connie and stevie go up against each other for clinical lead like zoe was no match for connie and neither was elle but stevie on the other hand… i feel like they’d probably just end up having hate sex tbh (i mean connie and elle nearly got there for sure)

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (246): Thu 17th Nov 2022

This morning I went to town to meet Dad so we could go to the travel agents and put down a deposit for our trip to California. Today was also my day with Luna so I had to take her with me but it was fine as she gave me a good laugh in the car ride down there as she was singing along to a song on the radio and pulling very weird facial expressions while she did it. I'm convinced that when she's grown up she's going to be either some sort of academic genius or a Robin Williams-esque comedian (or both) because she's incredibly smart for her age and she has great comedic instinct and charisma. We got to the travel agents and laid out what we wanted to book. Initially I wanted a hotel next to the SoFi Stadium for Wrestlemania so that I can just walk there and am unlikely to get mugged by any gang members (Back in college I was in a gang called the Flying Mongooses and we had a pretty fierce rivalry with both the Bloods and the Crips, in fact even though Blood and Crips hate each other they would often put aside their differences in order to join forces against the Flying Mongooses, that's how notorious we were). However the only hotels near the SoFi stadiums were shitholes and only had rooms with single beds and I don't particularly relish the idea of sharing a bed with my 60 year old father for one day let alone an entire week in the blistering Californian heat. Instead we decided to get a hotel next to the Crypto.com arena so that we will be able to get to the Lakers game easily and it turns out there's a bus that will be able to get me from the hotel to the SoFi stadium and back. The entire holiday was £1400 which was £200 cheaper than what the travel agents originally quoted Dad when he went there to enquire. Also we don't have to pay that stupid resort tax we had to pay in New York (I know Americans need to get money to pay for guns for their kids from somewhere but come on, charging visitors for amenities in the hotel that they might not even use? Fuck off) so we decided to go for it. The travel agents only required a £75 deposit so I paid that and I now have until January 16th to pay off the rest meaning that I'll be able to get my Christmas shit sorted out first, save money for the next six weeks and then pay the holiday off so I'll still have a decent amount of money in my account. While I was looking on Ticketmaster to check the dates for Mania and the Lakers game and I saw on the news section that Iggy Pop has announced a UK gig. Last time Iggy did a big UK show was at the Albert Hall and it was while Dad and I were in America. I clicked onto the news story 100% expecting the date of the show to be during the fucking week that me and Dad are going to LA and to my surprise...it wasn't. Iggy's performing a show in London on the 1st of July next year...and it looks like it's all old stuff and none of his boring ass blues shit that he played during his last UK tour. Holy fuck so I already have two major things to look forward to next year as Iggy is basically the last big name on the music section of my bucket list. After I paid my deposit I was eager to get home and buy my ticket for WrestleMania so I promised Luna I would take her to the soft play which I always dread because she insists I come on with her and although adults are allowed to go on (Provided they have a kid with them of course). I don't like to because it involves a lot of ducking down which doesn't do my previously broken neck any favours (Incidentally that was one of the few times I actually meant to write "ducking"). While we were playing Dad got a phone call from the travel agents saying that they'd mistakenly got us to stay at a hotel that was only rated 2 stars and was on their "do not get people to go there" list. As a result they've upgraded us to a much nicer 3 star hotel and they haven't charged us for the upgrade which is awesome. I got home and after my sister came to pick Luna up I immediately got on the laptop and looked for Mania tickets. There were some going for £250 but they would offer a pretty shitty view so I decided to bite the bullet and go for a £400 ticket (£490 including the processing fee whatever the fuck that is). I selected my ticket and entered my card details. I waited for the confirmation screen to load and the next thing I knew the first step towards the culmination of a boyhood dream had been taken: my ticker has been delivered and now ladies and gentlemen: I’M GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!!!!!

[kriffingstars]

eddie munson; knight

pairing : eddie munson x reader request : Okay so could you do an Eddie Munson x F!Reader where the reader is shy and kind of nerdy and so she gets bullied a lot by people and so one day, Eddie stands up for her and then they start talking and Eddie puts the charm on and makes the reader fall in love with him? Please? warnings : bullying, violence, injured reader a/n : sorry this took so long anon, i really wanted this to be absolutely perfect!

eddie isn't exactly some knight in shining armour

in any sort of fight or flight situation he's out of there

it just isn't in his nature to scrap with people (physically at least)

doesn't mean he can't though. have you seen those rings? he can do a lot of damage if he really wants to

he doesn't get involved in shit unless it's for a good cause

"someone's got to stand up for the freaks,"

the hellfire club is made up of misfits he's sort of collected brought together over the years

he just wants to make sure no one ever feels alone, or like he was made to feel when he was younger

he'd seen you around school a lot

generally, you kept out the way of others but you always had your nose stuck in a book

you didn't ever seem unhappy

quite the opposite actually, you seemed most content in your own company

he just assumed you didn't want to be distracted from your studies or anything like that

he didn't realise how wrong he was

not until you came into english with a fresh red bruise on your cheek

the teacher had questioned it but you just said you fell and didn't catch yourself because you were carrying too much stuff

that was the first obvious sign that something was wrong

the next time he sees you, he finds out exactly where that bruise came from and it's not from you falling over

they're from jason fucking carver

the asshole has pushed you over onto the floor, your books everywhere and you’re clutching your wrist in obvious pain

him and his laundry basket posse are laughing as they carry on walking

and then he's coming to your defence, and now jason is bleeding and the bruises on his face are going to be a lot worse than yours and eddie is so glad he remembered to put his rings on this morning

you don't hear what eddie says but by the time you collect your senses jason is long gone and eddie is crouched in front of you, gently checking over your wrist

i definitely think eddie’s pretty good at first aid

he’s clumsy asf so had to learn to patch himself up

he's also been bullied his whole life so he's just learnt to do it himself by this point

it’s a handy skill so have, and he’s definitely glad he knows what he’s doing as he’s gently wrapping your wrist in a support so you don’t hurt it even more

he’s flashing you a boyish smile, definitely not one that you’d expect from him

and he’s jabbering on about god knows what but it’s helping to put you at ease so eddie’s going to continue

he’s always thought you were attractive but holy shit you’re even better close up

like he always has but you’re eyes are just so much more gorgeous closer up

and your perfume is so intoxicating

from that point on, you join the collection of misfits

you still spend lunchtimes in the library

but you’ve started sitting with the hellfire club a couple of times a week

dustin takes one look at you and is like, yep, i like her

it takes a while to warm up to the others but between eddie and dustin they make sure you never feel out of place with them

being the two most academic ones in the group you often end up talking science

you let dustin have your old notes, which you didn’t have to do but you wanted to be helpful

he didn’t even ask but when you pop down a beautifully neat notebook full of all your freshman year science notes and explaining that there were some more advanced stuff that secured you that a* grade

normally someone like yourself would intimidate eddie

and even though you’re basically a genius, you’ve never once made him feel stupid

this is when eddie starts to notice that he might be falling in love

it starts off with him just thinking about how kind and thoughtful and pretty you are

and before he knows it he’s staring at the back of your head in class just enjoying the view

he starts trying to do small things to get you to realise that he’s interested in you

carrying your books to class

offering you lifts, so now he takes you to school even though it’s out of his way (he never tells you that)

shouting back at jason and the basketball team whenever they insult you

this boy has got it bad

pining to the max

he turns the charm up by 3000

if he makes you blush then he’s content

and before he realises he’s spending all the time thinking about you

he see’s a flower ‘wow y/n would like that’

hears a good song, ‘better write that down. i could put it in a mixtape’

speaking of mixtapes this is definitely how eddie tells you he likes you

inside the case is a note with every song on it and why he’s added it to your mixtape

there’s some doodles in there as well

and at the very end of the note it just says

i hope this tells you how i feel about you

he slips it in your bag at lunch when you’re engrossed in conversation with the boys, suggesting some strategies for their upcoming d&d session

it’s the most nerve wracking thing waiting for you to find it

what if you don’t feel the same

he’s sitting in the van at the end of your driveway waiting lost in his thoughts, going over all the reasons why you don’t like him back

he doesn’t even realise you’re there until you’re opening up the passenger door

eddie can’t quite compute what happens next

because you’re leaning over, grabbing a fist full of his hellfire shirt and kissing the living daylights out of him

which is so unlike you

you’re the shy, keep your feelings to yourself kind of person

and you just don’t do that

it’s a messy clash of teeth at first

but soon it turns into a sweet and loving kiss

eddie’s hands resting on your waist

yours cupping his face

from this point on eddie can't get enough of you

he's reminding you how much he likes you everyday through actions

his love language is definitely words of affirmation so hearing you tell him how amazing he is, and how unbelievably lucky you are to be with him is just the best thing in the world

at first he's nervous to be around you at school, he gets so much shit that he doesn't want to isolate you even more for dating him

it's also partially coming from a place of insecurity as well, deep down part of him thinks you're embarrassed to be seen dating him

this is definitely baggage from a previous relationship

it wasn't as serious but someone he was seeing had called him their dirty little secret and that had really stuck with him

so when you sit yourself down next to eddie in the cafeteria, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek like it was so normal he melts

eddie 'heart eyes' munson is back in full force

he's got the biggest, shit eating grin on his face as he entwines your fingers together

it's subtle, and not overtly in anyone's face, but it's not something people would miss either and that means the entire world to eddie

in that moment he definitely thinks 'they're the one'

[jenotapes]

10 meters away, what now?

pairing | huang renjun x fem!reader

genre | tooth-rotting fluff, best friends to lovers, love alarm au, high school au

word count | 3.3k

warnings | profanity, renjun is a little annoying, reader and renjun have a touchy feely friendship, RENJUN JUST WANTS AN ANSWERRR, sorta making out at the end, mentions of the reader being referred as petite!!

notes | my long awaited part for @aehyei's VALENTINE'S GONE WRONG! collab <3

synopsis | in a world where an application alerts people if someone in the vicinity, within 10 meters, likes them. things had gotten harder for you the day it rose to popularity, as you preferred to keep your crush on your best friend top secret. it doesn’t really help when he starts to pester you about it.

Quote unquote, on a fine Monday morning: and Everyone’s gripped over the newly released application.

You remembered about half a month ago, Park Jisung had come to you over a slight concern he had, sitting on the wooden bench with his antsy hands as the autumn leaves fell around the both of you.

“I’m telling you this first because I trust you.”

You thought it was kind of silly, and stupid. Actually, it was a little nonsensical, maybe a lot. He thought it was a good idea to entrust you with ‘confidential’ information, telling you that he was nearly done programming this app project titled Love Alarm— in the result of a final harsh rejection, he decided to show the world that there was no need to wait for a yes or a no, and to let the mooning tension consume you with the never-ending questions to whether or not your crush likes you back.

That very decision was made right after the both of you met up. He had a way different plan before that, to be frank, wanting to program Love Alarm only for himself and his crush, Lee Dongsook— it seemed to him that it would be more romantic that way, albeit you barely understood why.

It seemed as if he wanted to give her a new smartphone as well, sneaking with the app already installed. But of course, plans never go the way it’s supposed to be and it ends up on the downhill road, leaving poor Jisung to be ever so heartbroken. So instead, he gave it to you, you were one of his closest friends after all.

But then again, you were left with an extra phone.

What the hell do you do with an extra phone?

-

A week after the app’s launch, its ratings had unexpectedly soared and before you knew it, you’d be walking to school with plenty of aggravating ringing through the busy hallways. You could really use some ear swabs right now.

By showing the world, you weren’t expecting it to be like this. You thought he was going to have some extreme makeover, gain some muscle and show Dongsook what she’s been missing out on; even though he looks completely fine, and maybe she just turned a blind eye. He’s finally putting his nickname dubbed ‘the coding genius’ to work but proclaimed ‘world record for most bitches’? Not so much.

Sure, you’d be complimenting his developing skills, after all, he is still a high school student— maybe you don’t know how entirely accurate the app is itself, but for a reminder: you still had an extra phone in your hands and you were no doubt on edge.

With the app already installed, maybe you could pick up the pace and try it out. Excuses and excuses, you just had a habit of going onto compatibility websites, maybe taking love and relationship Buzzfeed quizzes along with keeping an eye on the spicy couple gossip surrounding the school (who doesn’t?).

To add on, an avid romance lover who is, indeed, a hopeless romantic.

A little curiosity isn’t going to hurt anybody, right?

You sat on a bench that was set in the middle of the school’s open area, taking out the navy blue box that was wrapped around with a pearl white ribbon. Carefully pulling the ends and gently opening the cover of the box— the familiar blue and pink gradient of the app immediately appeared.

Do I just press it?

It was sort of terrifying, what if someone did like you? There were tons of people near your vicinity and something unexpected might happen. May it be a stranger or a close friend, that just so happens to pass by and ring your alarm.

A delicate touch on the screen was all it took to have it already ringing, scanning people within 10 meters of your vicinity that were currently using the app as well. It was like pretty much yearning for a high grade, though what would an app decide for you anyway?

Even with the ringing, you heard the faint beep.

One?

Looking at the number made you turn around, obviously to see and pick out who was in your surroundings. And of course, fate does an entire 360 degree. You were sort of hoping for it, but at a time like this— maybe you wished it wouldn’t have happened.

Renjun? Renjun. Not to exaggerate anything, but he was nothing short but the man of your dreams. He was your best friend in fact, and you couldn’t help but fall head over heels for him. I mean, come on. Who wouldn’t fall for him? That delicate, sweet look, an absolute gentleman, he isn’t fickle for shit and he’s got everything to fall for.

He just had to be there.

Then again, there were seven other people around you. Random guy, another random person, Jaemin, another random girl… and Renjun. You didn’t really recognize anyone besides the two you mentioned, possibly you’ve seen one of them in an old class before.

Your heart easily skips a beat from the thought of Renjun ringing your alarm, immediately turning your view away from him as you bring the phone close to your chest out of pure worry. Sure, you liked him, maybe so much to the point where all you’ve done on your little love percentage website hunts— was just to name the both of you. Results, you dare not say.

That’s because of the ‘don’t date best friends, don’t ruin friendships’ policy. You didn’t really care but then again, how were you going to face him if things were actually so much more different than they were? Worst case scenario, you idiotically confront him, he rejects you, things become awkward, and then it leads to the end of a long-time friendship.

Cardinal rule number one: do not confront him about your feelings, don’t even express anything.

You felt so stupid, mooning over him like a lovesick high school teenager. The only thing you could really do was to keep your lips zipped, pretend this never happened, and keep this phone safe in your hands.

–

“Have you downloaded Love Alarm?”

“Nope, not too interested. Why?”

Your response appeared cool, great. But you don’t realize the sort of dispirited expression that was sitting so prolonged on his face. You don’t know whether you should play cliche and avoid him but then again, knowing Renjun remarkably well, a straightforward question ushers to the inevitable start of cat and mouse. You don’t know if he’s just that of an observer, or it’s because you’ve been best friends since the start of your untold chocolate milk incident; the vending machine coincidentally dispensing two of the cartons at the same time Renjun came near to get a drink.

Right now, instead of two cartons of chocolate milk— he’s waiting for your phone.

“Why’d you ask?”

“I’ve gotten like, five people.” He’s awfully stern today, and that’s because he’s hoping for an answer from you. “Wow, I’m friends with a chick magnet.” A scoff leaves your lips, and he stares at the screen before putting it in his pocket. There’s a brooding look on his face, and it looks as if he wants to tell you something crucial— while trying to put two to two together.

“Pfft, chick magnet my ass. Have you seen Jaemin? He’s gotten at least twenty.”

“Twenty? Holy shit, that’s like— half a class.” Your jaw was slack, eyebrows raised as you lean your back on the chair. “Wishing my five was more than that.”

By more than that, you don’t realize he exactly means one person and not more than the number of secret admirers Jaemin had. He wants his five to add to a six, not a thirty-five nor a thirty-one. He wants that sixth person, to be you in fact.

And that’s the only probable reason why he’s looking at you so expectedly, he’s asking you because he had presumed you were one of the five people within his 10 meter vicinity— but he assumed you were not, unaware you were sitting on a bench right behind him that morning. He was so nonplused on why he was oddly eager to get a response from you, and by the looks of your shifting eyes, and reluctance to download an app, there was something you were hiding from him.

After all, you’re the Y/N he knows that loved to go on relationship percentage websites to see how compatible you were with different people in school (unaware it’s just Renjun’s name you were putting actually), always keeping tabs on the spicy couple schemes that get tangled in the school’s gossip blog, a hopeless romantic, and favorite movies entirely being just romance and it’s wide variety of subgenres.

Sounds familiar right? He loves catching details.

So he’s wondering why an app gets you less interested than a similar stupid bot-generating website. You told him yourself that a student here programmed it, right? Bot or not, what really was the difference?

He doesn’t want to sound crazy, but he thinks you like him.

And he definitely isn’t wrong.

In fact, he isn’t wrong at all.

If the two of you were on a dating reality show, you’d totally hit it off at first sight, as quoted by a Buzzfeed quiz you took the other day, and it totally hasn’t been in your mind since.

Actually, it totally has.

You choose to ignore his more-than-five comment, clearing your throat while tapping slightly on the table. “I’ll just stick with my websites.” You sigh, earning a raised brow from the latter in front of you. “But, this is real, isn’t it?”

A little taken aback by his reply, you tilt your head. “Yeah, why? Got your eye on someone?”

Playing fire with fire, he decides to take up a bold response. “I do.”

Renjun has never wanted to hit himself so hard in the face, it was a straightforward response but he swore he had an intuition that he’d be giving out a more indirect answer, something like ‘i don’t know, maybe i do’ because he reckons things like this would rile you up— but he pushes himself to another route.  Luckily his flushed cheeks weren’t too noticeable, “W..what about you?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Were you going to say it?

Should you be forward?

“Six letters, there’s a J in their name.” Your voice stumbles more than intended.

You’d expect him to immediately get the hint, but for some reason he’s absolutely clueless— dumber than a brick. “Joohee?” You shook your head. “Jisung?” Again, no. “Jaehyun?”

“That’s seven, hasn’t he already graduated?”

He’s thinking hard, and it should’ve been easy to piece— and you were somewhat ready to tell him, you’ve concluded that Renjun wouldn’t let go of your friendship so easily, at least that’s what you were hoping.

“...Jaemin?”

Just before you opened your mouth to say anything, the teacher already made her way in. Looking at your expression, Renjun is already set to a muddle. Why was he even thinking so hard about this in the first place? “Later.” You whisper, leaving the latter to glance at the teacher before a sigh leaves his lips.

“But–” Before he can finish his sentence, you abruptly stand up from your seat to sit on your own. It’s not like he’s overanalyzing your current movement, but he feels a little dubious. Is it Jaemin?

While Renjun was busy probing, you had realized the conversation was going nowhere. He’s always so dense when it comes to the answer being all about him, and maybe that hint was enough to get it festering into his brain for a day or two. You speak without thinking and this is the outcome of it, and now you’re back to square one: avoid him, you know desperate times call for desperate measures.

-

Renjun’s a little mixed up over the situation, over sixes and sevens how you were suddenly averting his every move and avoiding him. Maybe he beat around the bush too much, and you probably didn’t want to tell him anything of the sort. He feels a little shitty, but then again he was curious on why you were so reluctant. Was it really Jaemin that you liked?

Call him crazy, but Renjun doesn’t realize these are the effects of falling in love. He’s yet to know, and he’s yet to piece that your beloved crush is indeed, him. Huang Renjun.

You reach home completely exhausted, and not to mention, guilty that you’d be steering clear from him. What if he thinks you hated him? Maybe you did, to be honest. He makes you feel so corny inside— it’s insane. Falling in love makes you feel like a different person, and it’s hurting all of you for no reason.

You plop yourself on the bed, staring at the ceiling of your room before questioning your life choices. Then again, there’s always that familiar notification ring that whips you into shape.

renjeon <3: hey

renjeon <3: you okay?

No, you definitely weren’t, it’s only been a day and now you were putting up the face of utter guilt. You take up the courage to type something, but quickly delete the message after—- licking your lips in anticipation as you shut your phone. At that moment, you feel your shoulders droop as you hug your pillow tight, burying your face into the soft cushion to let out a muffled scream. You were kicking your feet in the air and you felt like a complete idiot.

Hours and hours of tuition and art school were enough to get you weary, let alone the thoughts that were eating you up inside and out and feeling as if you mislead him and might have unintentionally ravaged your relationship with Renjun in some way. It was late at night and all you wanted was to sleep this night away and hope it all ends up magically well tomorrow, and that the misunderstandings would be quickly explained to.

renjeon <3: is smth bothering u?

You immediately glimpse at his notification, sucking your teeth as you had just decided that you were giving up right here, right now. Taking the phone in your hands, you type what you had forerun to text him just now.

you: meet me at eunhaeng children’s park, the bench near the playground

you: 8:47

The latter never dare to leave you on seen, quickly replying a short ‘okay’ as you mutter curses under your breath.

Now you were panicking on what to wear, fuck.

-

Renjun immediately grabs his dangling keys along with his phone, who cares if his hair was disheveled to oblivion— and that he was still in his sleepwear? No one would stare, but I’m afraid the Pikachu socks were a little out of pocket.

He kisses his mother goodbye, leaving her a little confused as he quickly runs out the door to ride his bike to the children’s park. It was about 5 minutes away at least, the latter cycling his way out, late at night, just to hear what you had to say. And he still hasn’t realized anything?

He’s panting, and he’s tired, moving his legs to quickly get to you.

And luckily, he’s managed to reach his destination in a matter of 5 minutes. Seeing your petite figure, huddled up on the bench as he swallows his throat.

The moment he arrives, your face lights up— giving him a small smile as he settles his bike near the tree trunk, walking up to you with his face all flustered. “5 minutes? Here I thought you’d take at least 9.” You laugh, getting a monotonous look from him in return. “Sorry.”

A quick scoff leaves his lips, sitting next to you. “What is it that you want to talk about?”

Your eyelashes flutter at his question, swallowing the lump in your throat as silence follows through the air. He was looking at you expectedly, your hand reaching deep in your pocket to take out a familiar phone.

It wasn’t familiar to Renjun at all, in fact— he’s never seen it once in his life. But it was familiar to you, in all means— it’s the phone Jisung gave you.

You lock eyes with him, your lips slightly curved as you fumbled with the gadget in your hand. “Love Alarm.”

“What?”

“Open it.”

Your voices were close to gentle whispers, accompanied by the noise of crickets and the somewhat chilly air. Renjun’s eyes blink as you tell him to enter the app, and as the familiar screen pops up— he glances at you. He feels as if your eyes were telling him to press it, and he does. You press it too.

It’s the familiar ringing.

Instead of a thousand rings at a time, it’s just two.

And instead of zeroes, there were ones.

Your eyes widened in shock, and not to mention— Renjun seemed stunned by the result.

“It was you?” The two of you said in unison.

Renjun was the person who had rung your alarm amongst the seven people, and you were among the five.

The two of you could only stare at each other, it wasn’t tense nor was it awkward— rather it was taking it in what they had just witnessed, trying to put two and two together. “Holy fuck, six letters, R in his name. Renjun,  fuck! Renjun.” The latter abruptly says, bringing a palm to his forehead as you let out a laugh. “You’re so stupid, you know that?”

“I never thought it’d be me.”

“In denial?”

Bingo, he was definitely in denial. To him, you were like a goddess and he was like a fool, there was no way you would find any interest in him anyway. You click your tongue as he starts to ponder, bringing your soft hands to cup his face.

“You don’t understand. You..”

His face melts in your touch, and suddenly everything in him falls light like a feather. Nothing comes crashing down, and no thunderstorm to ruin the day, everything was like feathers falling. “I..?” He raises his brows.

“You… I like you.” You smile.

God, that was all he wanted, let alone— needed to hear.

He gently holds your wrists to settle them on his lap, shooting heart eyes as his idiotic smile was uncontainable, he couldn’t hold it. All he needed, was for you to confess to him right then and there. Sure, he should have made the first move— but you made it first before he did, and it reassures him in some way.

“I like you more.” Finally, an ear-to-ear smile forms on his pink lips.

He was firmly holding your cold hands, not too tight but it was enough to tell you not to pull away and stay with him, at this moment.

“So does this mean were…dating?” You cut to the chase, giving him your sheepish smile as he lets out a wholehearted chuckle. “Of course, idiot.”

“Says you.”

The two of you share a laugh, and as it fades, Renjun glances at your eyes— slowly bringing his hand to cup your cheek as he raises a brow to get your approval.

His little gesture left a smile on your face, immediately pulling him into a soft kiss as the two of you melt in each other’s arms. His hands begin to gently intertwine with your yours, and it slowly became a more passionate kiss. His pecks were gentle, barely rough and the way he leaned in was enough to tell he was a good kisser.

Your connected, intertwined hands sent your beating heart into a palpitation, his thumb slowly caressing your cheek as he never fails to make you the giddiest person alive. As a hopeless romantic, you set your ideals beside— as this was much better than what you desired. Begin a hectic day, follow with your sentiments let out, and sweet canoodling to end the night.

It’s always good to solve things, maybe avoid kissing at a children’s park if you sort things out.

Well, rest assured, the two of you walked into school hand in hand.

do not translate or copy © jenotapes 2022

[kitsunefox1108]

I no this sounds weird but can you do a romantic Yandere roboticize sonic X immortal reader so basically eggman roboticize sonic but his obsession with the reader was so strong that he Broke free of eggman control but still pretends to be under his control so he can fight and roboticize his "friends" he first went after shadow and sliver then the other and he ends eggman life and because the reader is immortal they can be together forever and I no this sounds a bit ooc of sonic but he basically take over the world it your choice if you want to make him do this because the roboticize sort of mass with his mind a little so when in the beginning he was a slight yandere do to him being roboticize he became more of a yandere

wow! it sounds very interesting. I'll try to write!!

Yandere! Roboticize!Sonic x Fem! Immortal! Reader

Warning: there is a VERY BIG OOC, SONIC IS LITERALLY NOT LIKE ITSELF. well, yes, toxic thinking, behavior, obsession, stalker, death.

In the case of robotic Sonic, everything is much worse. His unhealthy behavior is already beginning to be seen with the naked eye.

He literally clings to you, does not let go of his arms, and does not let you go anywhere. Constantly manipulating.

Follows your every step, and circle of communication.

However, no one has yet noticed that he only pretends to be robotic.

However, you noticed it, especially since you don’t notice it when he literally doesn’t let you go, but doesn’t kill you, and becomes very attached.

He moved in with you and is now your roommate, literally showering you with his privilege.

Constant surveillance of what you do in gadgets.

In blue hedgehog, the freedom that used to be has literally disappeared. He seemed to have disappeared from this, as from the fact that they believe in something.

He literally doesn't give you that freedom. He completely walks away from it.

And won't let you talk to almost anyone...

if someone upset you, he will try to find out better, and later he can seriously fight with that person, if not kill him.

We rewind time a little.

at some point he did leave for a while.

you're happy that you won't be suffocated by Sonic's affection.. You carefully go out into the street, and go for a walk in the forest, get some fresh air.

Something was wrong.

You didn't know what, but your intuition said something was wrong here. Sonic obviously disappeared for a reason.

Especially his attitude towards you.

You quickly walk towards the city in order to unwind. Moreover, later you will not have the opportunity to do this, without Sonic's surveillance.

At a distance of 700 meters, you saw a rather large crowd of city residents who were watching something in shock. Out of curiosity, you went to the one that helped, trying to find out what was in there.

You were as surprised as the rest.

Sonic in the blood, a furious look, but a big smirk on his face, and the dead body of Eggman, an evil genius that used to threaten you a lot.

Sonic ignored the people. He deliberately expected you to come.

You stepped back in confusion, but eventually ran into the wall.

The blue hedgehog hasn't stopped looking at you with a smirk

“Now nothing prevents me from being with you forever more, dear. - after these words, Sonic touches his lips to yours, merging into a kiss.

Now you clearly have no choice, and you will be with him. Forever.

[unoriginalmess]

Untitled Feralnette Fic Ch. 1

Hiya there anyone who happens upon this first chapter of this fic. I would like to start out by saying that this is my first fanfic ever. I've been wanting to write a fic for the miraculous fandom for a while but I haven't had any inspiration until I stumbled upon this glorious AU created by @bigfatbreak. I highly suggest checking out all of their posts about this au because they are hilarious and genius and about 100 other amazing adjectives that could be used to describe them and their posts. Anyways enough with my rant and let's get on with the fic. ⚠️Slight angst⚠️ ⚠️Swearing⚠️

--------

When Marinette got home after her and Luka's breakup, all she could do was cry. She wanted to be with him, but her Ladybug duties came first. If lying is a deal breaker for him, then maybe it was best that they ended it now while their relationship was still in its early stages. Still, she couldn't help but feel the loss of her first relationship. She ended up crying for a whole entire day. She just hoped that Hawkmoth(or Shadowmoth or whatever the fuck he wanted to be referred to as this week) wasn't feeling particularly akuma-y today, because she didn't know if she could bottle up all these feelings, even though the world is relying on her ability to do so.

Ugggghhh!! It has been exhausting having to be "happy and perfect Marinette" and "happy and perfect Ladybug" All. The. Time. She's also pretty sure that Hawkmoth had discovered the similarities in her personality as Marinette to Ladybug, and that's why she's been targeted by multiple akumas lately. She has had to have her emotions under control even more than usual. If only there was a way to get Hawkmoth to stop targeting her. Maybe she should just not give a fuck anymore. Haha as if! It couldn't be that easy! Could it?

The more she thinks about it the more it starts to make sense. If she just let herself go completely crazy as Marinette, she would be killing like 10 birds with one stone. She would get hawkmoth off of her trail, she wouldn't have to deal with having to hide her emotions all of the time, she wouldn't have to deal with the added stress of maintaining her perfect persona, she wouldn't have to deal with the stress of Lila's lies taking her friends away if she didn't have friends in the first place, and so much more stress would be taken off of her plate! It was perfect! It might hurt a little at first, but it's for the best in the end. She spent that night planning out her outfit for tomorrow, doing her homework, and going to sleep knowing that, in the morning, François Dupont isn't gonna know what hit them.

....

Adrien Agreste had been having a rough week. He had been abandoned on patrol by ladybug, been broken up with by his girlfriend, and was feeling completely and utterly alone. He knows that his lady has been feeling overwhelmed by her guardian duties lately, and that he 100% deserved that verbal lasting that kagami had given him but he couldn't help but feel this way. He was also feeling guilty about lying to kagami and leading her on for so long. After she broke up with him he took some time to assess his feelings for her and realized that he had more of an admiration for her than an infatuation. He definitely didn't feel the same way about her that she felt about him. She told him that she LOVED HIM, and he was so distracted (blinded) by ladybug that he didn't even process her confession. So, he was looking forward to Sunday morning. He cleared his schedule and on that beautiful Sunday morning, he did what he is only allowed to do on very rare occasions: sleep in. Or at least... thats what he had planned on doing.

When Nathalie had knocked on his door that morning Adrien was not in a good mood. He vaguely heard her say something about father wanting him downstairs in some amount of time for something involving a business partners child and some other robotic sounding words that his half asleep brain couldn't process completely.

"I have a cleared schedule this morning, Nathalie. What could father possibly want me for that is more important than my precious sleep?" He asked snappily.

"Your father wants you downstairs to welcome the new guest that will be living in the house for the rest of the school year. You have 15 minutes to make yourself look presentable and I suggest leaving the attitude upstairs," she half informed/half reprimanded him. As she walked away, Adrien reluctantly rose from his nice warm bed and went to go get ready with only one thought racing through his mind: Who could possibly be staying with them?

....

Felix Culpa was not looking forward to living at the Agreste mansion for the rest of the school year, but for their parents' sake they would do what they had to. It wasn't all for their parents either, they were also concerned about the strange "dissapearance" of Emilie (who was his aunt in all ways except blood relation) and about the treatment of Adrien since said "disappearance".

You see, Felix Culpa is the heir to the Culpa Fabric Empire. The Culpas have been the sole fabric supplier of the Agreste brand since the very beginning. Felix's mom Diana was best friends with Emilie since their college days. Diana and Emilie made the deal with the two brands because as best friends who are both involved in the same industry, it just made sense to have a business relationship with each other. Diana never really cared for Gabriel as a person, but she could tell that he loved Emilie more than anyone else in the world so she could tolerate him for the sake of her best friend.

When Emilie went missing, Diana was absolutely devastated and tried anything she could to find her. She invested in missing person ads as large as billboards, organized search teams, tried to aid the police in their search for her in any way she could, but there was no leads, no legitimate calls to the number on the billboards, and the search team came up empty handed. While she was doing all of this to try to find her, she couldn't help but be furious over the fact that Gabriel was doing nothing to help in the search. All he did was hole himself up in his oversized mansion and call it a day.

The last straw for Diana was when Gabriel tried to use the "grieving my wife" excuse to try to abuse their business arrangement. That day, she told him that the Culpa brand would no longer be associated with the Agreste brand and that after the new collection is released, he would need to find a new fabric supplier. She knew that the Agreste brand would take a huge hit from having sub-par fabric, but she never thought that Gabriel would try to make up for that fact by using Adrien as a walking mannequin and locking him up in the desolate prison that he calls a home. As soon as she realized that he was doing this she scrambled to find a solution.

That is how Felix ended up here, standing in front of the mansion they would be living in for the next 9 months in exchange for Gabriel getting back into the Culpa brand's good graces. Don't get them wrong, they were excited about being able to be in Paris, home of the most innovative fashion pieces in the world, and about being able to see their honorary cousin Adrien (who wasn't half bad to be around despite him having no backbone whatsoever when it came to anything involving his father) but dealing with Mr. Agreste was definitely one of the low points of this arrangement.

They decided to just get it over with and knocked on the door. It was opened by the man that their cousin affectionately referred to as Gorilla. They nodded a thank you to the man, remembering that he was a man of few words, and proceeded to the bottom of the staircase. Mr. Agreste stood at the top with a very tired looking Adrien a few steps down. Felix wasn't even slightly surprised that this is where he chooses to welcome his guests, looking down on people must give him some sort of power trip or something. It's almost as if he heard the phrase "It's over, Anakin, I have the high ground," and made that his own personal motto. Whatever, let him have the feeling of false power if he wanted it, Felix knows that they have all the power in this situation and they're sure that Gabriel knows it as well.

"Hello Felix," Mr. Agreste greeted them with the same amount of warmth in his voice as liquid nitrogen, "while you are staying in this house you will abide by my rules. Adrien will inform you of them and show you to your room. You will attend school with him in the morning and I'm sure that you already know that you must represent not only the Culpa brand, but also the Agreste as well. I will be in my office working, do not disturb me. Contact Nathalie with any questions that cannot be answered by Adrien." He finished his spiel and left to what Felix assumed was his office space.

"Hello Felix!" Adrien greeted him with as much enthusiasm as he could muster in his sleepy state. "Come with me and I'll show you to your room."

Adrien led Felix to their room and listed all of the rules of the household that they were expected to follow. And... wow. Felix could not believe that their cousin had to live like this. The only social interaction this kid gets is at school and fencing? Pre-approved outings only with people determined socially acceptable by Gabriel? And if he gets even one "B" he isn't even going to be allowed to go to school at all? Felix knew that the living situation was bad for Adrien but know the only question running through their head was: What did they get themselves into??

--------

And... thats it for chapter 1! Mostly background info at this point, but next chapter will be the class' reaction to feralnette and felinette meeting for the first time. I just want to say thanks again to @bigfatbreak for giving me the inspiration to write a fic for the first time ever. Feel free to leave constructive criticism, I'm always looking to improve, especially at writing since this is my first time posting anything I've written online, so I want to get better so that I can make better content for you guys, gals, and non-binary pals. If anyone wants to be tagged just let me know and I'll make a tag list for ya. :)

[dameronology]

figure it out {din djarin x reader}

summary: din djarin doesn’t usually get jealous. not until he met you, at least {for the lovely and wonderful @stargazingcarol​} - 2.5k words 

warnings: swearing 

this is completely spoiler free!! just some good old jealousy and some antics with the kid. enjoy.

- jamie

You had a complicated relationship with the Mandalorian. 

On one hand, you were colleagues…of sorts. He’d spent two years coming to your outpost on Corellia when he needed his ship fixing – and after becoming fed up of traipsing back and forth, he offered you the job full time. It was a mutually beneficial situation. You’d been desperate to get out the city for years, and you were also the only mechanic he trusted. The prospect of a job that would take you all over the galaxy was exciting, even if it meant tiptoeing around one another in the cramped hull of the Razor Crest (and that was before the addition of the Child). But, when you spent days and days in hyperspace with nobody else to talk to, it was only natural that you became friends. It had felt a little awkward at first, as though you were trying to force conversation with a man who just didn’t want to talk -- but then the Mandalorian’s barriers broke down, and things began to change.

You couldn’t quite pinpoint when. It had probably been a few months in, not long after he’d saved your ass from a bounty who had thrown a punch in your direction. You hadn’t expected the Mandalorian to be so protective - and frankly, neither had he. It was after that he found himself doing things without realising; lingering touches on your back when he passed, his hands brushing your thigh whenever you were sat in the cockpit next to him. Then, you became unintentional adoptive parents to a weird, green creature - a bond between you that only seemed progressed naturally, as though you had no control over it.

One night, not long after you took the Child in, you’d both collapsed beside one another on the tiny bed in hull of the Crest. Usually, you would argue for a while about who got to take it, but on that night, neither of you’d had the energy. Under the covers of the dark and with the baby finally asleep, you were muttering amongst yourself - you couldn’t remember the conversation entirely, but it was sleepy, tired gibberish. Din found himself reaching to take the helmet off; he could hear you easier that way, and your voice was comforting enough to lull him off to sleep. In the quiet of the moment, and with the conversation between you reaching a natural stopping point, he’d gently closed the gap between you. It was simple; his lips on yours, only for a brief moment. Then, as though the Child had sensed that everything was no longer about him, he’d opened his mouth and let out a cry for attention.

You began to kiss more often after that; every night before bed, actually. As soon as the lights were off, Din would take the helmet off, give you a gentle kiss and then he’d drift off, holding you tightly to his chest. It was always that, followed by a good night, cyar'ika. Then the morning would come, and it would be good morning, cyar'ika followed by another soft kiss, before the helmet went back on and you both went about your days.

After a few months of that, you’d fallen into an easy routine. Neither of you had quite established what your relationship was, but it didn’t feel like you needed to. It’s not like there was anyone else around for you to have to worry about, or anyone else who would force you to define it. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t frustrating; Din Djarin had never been the type of person to plan ahead, and you knew that more than anyone. The idea of becoming attached to him, only to lose him or get hurt was enough for you to at least want to try and work it out. You weren’t expecting a deep conversation, or even one that you could walk away from knowing whatever the hell was going on between you two. 

It was just that with the addition of the Child, and the two of you growing closer each day, you wanted an answer. You wanted to know if you were wasting your time; if this was simply a pit-stop on your way to finding a more permanent settlement, or if this was it. Though you’d never admit it, you wanted it to be the latter. Din was reliable, and he cared about you. He was sweet in his own way and he’d have gone to the ends of the galaxy to look after you. He was protective in a way that let you fight your own battles, but not in a way you’d ever have to do it alone. You felt safe with him - as though you’d found everything you were looking for, except neither of you had been looking at all.

You brought the question up on a slow morning. The Mandalorian was between bounties, and you’d briefly landed in a dusty outpost on a thick jungle planet to refuel and find some food. The kid was snoring away in his pod a few feet away, clearly feeding off of the relaxed atmosphere that you’d managed to create. You were laying beside him, the lights still off and your head buried in his neck. Both of Din’s arms were wrapped tightly around you, gripping onto you as though you might slip away into the darkness of the vast galaxy. 

‘What are we?’ You asked quietly.

‘Humans.’ Right, there was the dry sense of humour.

‘Din.’ You grumbled. ‘I’m serious.’

‘What’s making you bring it up now, cyar'ika?’ He asked. ‘It’s early.’

‘I was just thinking.’ You sat up, pulling the covers with you. ‘We’ve been doing this thing for months but neither of us have actually worked out what the hell is it is.’

‘We don’t have to.’ He replied. 

‘Right.’ You murmured. 

‘It’s just-’

As though the little bugger had sensed a sudden onset of tenseness in the room, the Child let out a loud cry. You immediately recognised it: he was hungry. Even if you were ready to throttle anyone who dared come near him, you didn’t have a hard time admitting that he had a penchant for the worst timing. With that said, the fact he’d slept through the whole night without waking once certainly helped the fact.

‘Hey, buddy! It’s okay!’ You heard the mechanical click of Din’s helmet as he turned on the lights, allowing you to leap out of bed and stumble to the baby. ‘We’ll get you some food.’

That wasn’t the first time that something had magically changed the subject whenever you tried to bring up the status of your relationship with Din. If the kid didn’t decide to pull your attention away, it was the Mandalorian himself who veered away from the conversation. He always had to check on a bounty, or rush off to see if the ship was on the right route. It didn’t take a genius to work out that he was avoiding the subject entirely and you were starting to become frustrated.

After almost three weeks of trying to challenge him about it, you were close to giving in entirely. What if you were wasting your time? What if you were going to let yourself fall in love with him, only to find out you weren’t a permanent part of his plan? Fuck, did he even have a plan? Was that the life you wanted -

- it was at that point that your train of thought had stopped, because the Child sensed you were upset, and started bawling. Again.

A few hours after your fourth or fifth try at the conversation - once again to have it ended by the kid tossing a frog at you in an attempt to steal the attention back - the three of you ended up in a bar. It was a little cantina a few hours outside of Mos Eisley; it was much cleaner than the other bars you’d seen, and if it weren’t for your foul mood, you might have even enjoyed it. 

‘What’s up with you?’ Din asked quietly. 

‘Nothing.’ You murmured. ‘I’m fine.’

‘Your tone is off, cyar'ika.’

‘Leave it.’ You snapped. ‘I’m getting another drink.’

You moved the baby off your lap, placing him on Din’s instead. After digging around in your pocket for some credits, you quickly stood up and sauntered over to the other side of the bar, leaning against the wooden counter as you waited for your turn to be served. It wasn’t too busy - there were a few people floating about. Locals, you figured. It was a slightly fancier part of Tatooine, and you could see the difference in the people who were frequenting the establishment.

You were trying not to think about Din, or the fact he still refused to talk about what was going on between the two of you. You’d long surpassed the point of no return for your friendship - no, you were too invested now. Either he had to prove he was in it for the long run, or you had to walk away. Was that an unfair ultimatum? Not really. He’d started it, after all. 

‘What’s a pretty thing like you doing waiting for a drink?’

You glanced up to see a man beside you, a half-empty flagon of beer in his hand. He was tall, dark and handsome; the type you used to briefly date back on Corellia. He smelt of expensive aftershave, and his clothes gave the impression he was quite well-off. 

‘I could ask you the same.’ You replied. 

‘So you think I’m pretty?’ The man quirked an eyebrow at you.

‘No, I...I mean, yeahhhh.’ You turned to face him, offering him a smile.

‘You’re here with that Mandalorian.’ He glanced over his shoulder, before leaning a little closer towards you. ‘What’s his deal?’

‘Honestly, I couldn’t tell you.’ You snorted. ‘I don’t think he knows what his deal is.’

The conversation was completely innocent - after all, you had no intention of anything happening with whoever this guy was. And even if you did, weren’t you technically single? You certainly weren’t in a relationship, at least not according to Din Djarin. He had no standing ground, nor any right to be jealous. 

Still, that didn’t stop his entire body filling with rage the minute the man put his hand on your arm, and it certainly didn’t stop him immediately packing up all your stuff to leave the bar. Even the notion of another man touching you made him want to scream - let alone the actual sight of it. It was the way your new friend leant in a little too close, and laughed a little too hard at your jokes. You were funny, but you weren’t that funny.

‘We’re leaving.’ Din declared, suddenly appearing beside you. 

‘Okay.’ You shrugged, glancing up at him. ‘I’ll meet you back on the ship later.’

‘No, I mean we’re leaving.’

You snorted. ‘I think you’ll find that I’m staying right here- oof!’

You let out a small squeak as the Mandalorian grabbed you with his free arm, tossing you over his shoulder. Before you could protest, or even apologise to the man beside you, he was marching you out of the bar and into the cool evening air of Tatooine. All meanwhile, the baby was giggling at the site of you with your legs in the air and your face planted against Din’s back. 

The ship wasn’t far - probably not more than a two minute walk. Din had been conscious of the Child’s little legs when he’d parked at the outpost; he was becoming more independent now and insisted on walking places himself. It was just that he could only walk for five minutes before getting tired, but the little sod would cry if you tried to carry him.  He was lucky he was cute.

‘What the hell was that?’ You snapped, barely catching your balance as Din planed you on the floor of the ship. 

‘That man was flirting with you.’ Din simply stated. ‘I didn’t like it.’

‘You...’ you trailed off. ‘You didn’t like it?’

‘He was overstepping his boundaries.’

‘You were jealous, weren’t you?’ You let out a derivative snort, folding your arms across your chest. 

‘You knew I could see you.’ Din was still calm. 

‘And? It’s not like we’re in a relationship, is it?’ You murmured.

‘That’s not-’

‘ - let me finish!’ You cut him off. ‘I have been trying for weeks to talk to you about it, to see where I stand with you, and you always change the subject or try to run away from it! You have no right to be jealous, or to act like I’m with you because you have made it abundantly clear that I am not. Your high horse is basically a shetland fucking pony, Din Djarin!’

There was a silence between you for a moment. It felt good to have finally said it - you just wished you’d been a bit more gentle. Din had never seen you shout before, or even come close to losing your temper. He knew it was bound to happen but he had never imagined it being at him. Then again, if you’d tried to pick him up and force him out the bar against his will, he would have been angry too. (The thought of you even trying it was rather comical).

‘I was scared.’ 

That hadn’t been the response you were expecting.

‘Of me?’ Your voice was quiet.

‘I’m in love with you.’ He said bluntly. ‘That terrifies me.’

‘I...fuck.’ You felt as though the wind had been stolen from your lungs, and replaced with whatever grey smoke the Crest spat out when the engines were broken. ‘I love you too - but why does it scare you?’

‘Because it means I can’t ever leave you.’ Din continued. ‘And I want to give you the life you deserve but I don’t know if I can. Not with my job, not with the things I’ve done.’

‘Din.’ You took a step forward, his large hands enveloping yours as you did. ‘D’you think I care about any of that?’

‘I was afraid to ask.’

‘No offence, but you can be a bit thick sometimes.’ A small chuckle escaped your lips, even if tears were forming in your eyes. ‘I don’t care where we are or where we go, as long as I’m with you, then I have the life I want. That’s why I’ve been so off these last few weeks, because I was so scared you were going to turn around and push me away.’

‘That’s not going to happen.’ He said. ‘I’m not going to leave you - you have my word. I promise.’ 

‘So why don’t we just stop being scared and start just...being together?’

He briefly stepped away, hitting the control panel to turn off the lights in the ship. His helmet hit the ground with a thud, and a moment later, his hands were on your hips as he pulled you towards him. Din crashed his lips onto yours, closing the gap between you with a desperate kiss. You’d kissed before - more times than you could even begin to count - but this one felt different. It had meaning; purpose, in fact. It was as though the last few months’ worth of feelings that the Mandalorian had been pushing aside had finally broken.

‘I love you, cyar'ika.’ He quietly murmured again. ‘And I’m sorry.’

‘Stop saying sorry.’ You tearfully smiled, forehead still pressed against his. ‘And I love you too, even if you’re a bit of a dumbass sometimes.’

‘Say it again.’

‘I love you, dumbass.’ You quietly said. 

‘Is that now your equivalent to cyar'ika?’

[sugar-petals]

can you give us more thoughts about domestic yoongles? the taemin's one (wich I love) just made me miss the cat boy so much ;o;

i have a phd in househusband yoongi so let me fire out some ideas for ya.

myg at home headcanon

🐱 word count. 1.9k | fluff, slice of life, slight nsfw mentions, x reader, bullet points

The doorbell sound is a recording of Yoongi imitating a doorbell. He’s such a meme. Ceci n'est pas une pipe.

Seemingly, he teaches himself a new recipe every week. To perfection. Yoongi is very particular about sticking to the recipe and wielding his kitchen tools in the right way. He collects knives, olive oil, and still hates cutting onions.

He separates sleep time, work time, and couple time as the holy trinity. For each, he switches his mood.

Blushes easily no matter for how long you’ve been together.

Establishes his own radio show where he DJs at one point.

Yoongi keeps an extreme track on the garbage schedule. He knows exactly what is due when. Separating the trash is a must. That includes sorting out fake friends trying to get between your relationship. Your social circle as a couple is extremely deliberate.

Yoongi deems himself a terrible host for guests. Unless Hoseok is there to drag him out, it's true he rather stays in the kitchen or at the barbecue preparing the menu courses rather than making small talk. He leaves the hospitality bits to you, however you want to go about it.

What he lacks in conversing with guests, he makes up in bed, God is absolutely fair.

He sings and hums pretty often and has his own vernacular of extraterrestrial uwu noises. It's an alphabet that you have to yet decipher but it's incredibly cute.

Self-made paintings everywhere around his house. 

Yoongi hasn't gone clubbing since grammar school. The most he does is going to a restaurant at lunch with very close friends. And always in a work context. His private life is so secluded from everything else and paparazzi just don't spot him anywhere, Dispatch thinks he must live abroad.

Very well, he does consider his big ole house a separate country. It's a living organism with a studio, gym, trophy room, small-size basketball court, and vastly equipped kitchen. A home theater as well, he likes American movies (like Inception) and Korean action genres, and you can stream whatever you fancy in there whenever you like. 

Yes, he has underwear with cute little bears on.

There's even a little pond in the backyard. Yoongi, Pisces he is, likes fishes after all. Sometimes he sits at the edge of the 'Little Ole Min Lake (LOML)' and stares into the water for literal hours with his chin parked on his palm.

His fridge is so high-tech and futuristic, even Yoongi is rendered clueless by its AI sometimes. The washing machine, too.

Yoongi watches RuPaul’s drag race. What did you expect? He finds it so humorous.

Owns lord knows how many comic collections.

Favorite holiday destination: New York.

Christmas is basically 50% you unveiling new music equipment to him in the garage and Yoongi almost fainting at the sexiness of it. The other 50% is spent holding hands and orgasm after orgasm until the new year since you loose track of time.

Goes on long rants why he’d marry you again every weekend.

Making you presents is his specialty. Always accompanied with a hand-written note. He writes a lot of things by hand for you in general. Texting, basically never. Always on paper.

No sex without a blanket and socks on. Yoongi gets cold very very easily and just doesn’t like showing skin. You buy him a heated blanket for his birthday, he even uses it in his studio chair.

Chronically addicted to making out.

Matching black outfits and glasses.

Laughs at even your worst jokes or phrases you didn’t expect you even uttered.

Yoongi owns the phoniest, most secretive-looking black car ever and nobody knows about it. Even he forgets he owns it, in fact he genuinely acts like it just doesn’t exist. Hilarious. And that guy has a level 1 Korean driver's license. Which allows him to drive trailers and busses and fucking trucks, and construction machines, let that sink in.

It's really a genius curse. Yoongi being put to the test will always deliver but he won't choose to execute his full skillset if he doesn't have to. Well, pragmatic. He's not as phony as he thinks he is, which is even more hilarious.

He uses that behemoth of a car so scarcely because he'd rather have things delivered to his doorstep and he's stingy with gas. Also, he doesn't like traffic and driving because of the traumatic shoulder accident and his tendency to space out. Translation: You drive that thing... that monster... it really is an impressive, fast, and scary machine. 

If someone devious ever even remotely manages to invade his privacy and get past the doubly-installed security system, he has enough money to deal with it no matter what.

If it concerns your privacy, he's a red belt. And owns Jin's number if a taekwondo master is required. Jimin's if it needs someone with kendo skills.

If Yoongi needs someone to go on a complete rampage, Jungkook lives just down the block. He can sprint to Yoongi's bunker I mean mansion within 45 seconds. 30 if it's very urgent. 20 if the reward is an instant ramen splurge with Yoongi's black card.

He has a sexy, glamorous sword collection hanging on the living room wall anyways, so. Who the hell is dumb enough to mess with him and his expensive lawyer in the first place.

But just in case, who knows... Yoongi settles matters shruggingly, anonymously, and with cash and he's too exhausted for violence, but don't underestimate his deter-min-ation and network for emergencies. Also, he is Agust D after all.

He will bonk a naughty burglar or kidnapper across the head with a wooden cooking spoon or take him down by throwing a basketball if the situation requires it. Damn, his reflexes are so fast, a feral cat in motion. So, lean back and sip on your drink of choice. Things are cared for.

If Yoongi is the one being kidnapped or a highly skilled stalker invades the property at night when he's fast asleep (nothing can wake this man during certain hours, strong REM right here): Don't forget that honeyboy is a Dodgers fan. There are signed baseball bats everywhere in this damn house.

In that sense, your parents visiting you here for the first time thought you were an undercover thug couple. Not to worry mom and dad, you both just like sports very much okay.

Yoongi walks around in all black clothes and the rooms are all seemingly dark. Even if you live together, you don't know his skin care routine. It's clear to you he's some sort of vampire.

Since Yoongi always forgets to remove his makeup, you made it a habit to wipe it down when he's about to pass out. He won't lie, he enjoys that kind of affection.

Holly is your resident child. You're essentially a family.

He insists to tackle this by himself, Yoongi sees his therapist monthly. Not shifting responsibility is something he's stubborn about and he pours his emotions into writing. You will do conversation about deeper stuff, but he says it's mostly up to him and his own mind. He dislikes burdening you or opening up too much and it's something to respect rather than force him about. If he wants to share a thought, he will. It doesn’t mean he can’t trust you or sucks at communicating (we know that he’s direct). Yoongi simply can’t put that much pain in such few words nor should you alleviate it for him.

Calls from the manager faze Yoongi as much as Jimin is bothered by gravity. If he’s busy kissing your body slow mo, who the hell dares to disturb his worship. 

This man had so many let-downs and interpersonal catastrophes in his life, he's super discerning with people. Because he rolls that way, during their first meeting Yoongi uses his psychology certificate on your friends. You see him squint at them, he listens very closely. After they pass the vibe check aka meow radar, he befriends them, too.

Yoongi doodles Grammy trophies everywhere to manifest them.

Yoongi shaves his legs.

All the sex toys he’s ever bought are black. Gotta vibe in style.

He spends ridiculous amounts of time in the studio but he's yours for the remainder of the night, breakfast, and he makes a lavish lunch and dinner.

Um, consider his head parked between your legs. The Hongkong line was not a joke.

Doesn’t mind you squishing his cheeks whenever and for how long you like. 

Every other weekend he gets flowers, vouchers, and gifts — not because of fans, they don’t know where his house is, but because he donates so much.

Namjoon often drops by and cleanses the area with his crystals.

Yoongi is a photography major so you can ask him to take professional, ceiling-high black and white shots of you.

Feeding each other food lovingly. Man, this guy got lips.

He set up a library just for you, in the exact historical aesthetic you like the most. Send him the link to any book you want, it's basically in the online shopping cart already. As I said, he wants to make you presents like every week.

Sometimes he sits on the other end studying English videos and vocab while you read. And yes, he's already 95% fluent but pretends being merely intermediate. He knows technical terms even native speakers have never heard of.

He collects pajamas and earrings.

Swears on the phone.

Namjoon being the horniest member is a cover-up story. Yoongi masturbates almost unreasonable amounts of times, by himself and in your arms when going to bed. Not gonna lie, it’s a sight to see his hands at work. He’s almost equally obsessed with fingering you once you ask him.

Yoongi was the one asking you to move in and almost had a nervous meltdown before meeting up with you to tell you just that. 

He’s the little spoon and of course a sleeping burrito to hold tight.

Finds you equally attractive in any state or styling. Yoongi practices what he preaches, he always reacts the same and says the same. 

Jams out to outrageous beats Namjoon sends him by dancing in the studio. You walk in on him every time. Was embarrassed at first, now you dance along.

Has bought you a life-sized Yoongi pillow and customized you a giant Shooky to hug when he’s not at home over night.

Owned a wine cellar until he quit drinking. Turned it into a piano room instead.

Only you know Yoongi has a serpent and dagger tattoo.

Scrubs the bathroom religiously.

The house smells like restaurant food and his extravagant perfumes half of the time.

Sometimes he has to remind himself he’s married to you and not his coffee machine. He shall be forgiven. You can’t complain that he doesn’t love you enough, nor is he ever not adorable when drinking his latte.

Never wears short sleeves. It can be scorching and he’ll wear a jacket. 

Tell him and the cap stays on during sex.

He grows his hair out and puts it in a low bun. The bangs remain.

Yoongi has installed the most fire-proof building in the entire city it seems. That he wanted to be a firefighter when he was young definitely shows. Figures the house has to be protected from heat: His blasting studio music and Yoongi himself are just way too sizzling.

Still melts into a puddle when you kiss his nose.

Couple sunrise watching. 

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