#not because it’s Oh My Goodness Your Essay Is The Best And So Impressive And You Should Be So Proud

[ocdhuacheng]

I have… lots of thoughts on milsiril and kabru and the commentary on mixed-race family/adoption, in particular white parents with children of color. I think it’s really cool kui incorporated this into the story because lots of (particularly white) people just think adoption is this pure altruistic thing and don’t think about the negative affects it has on kids (again, kids of color) to not have people of their own culture to grow up with.

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

i get a lot of family friends or neighbours saying “you’re so impressive” and i get similar things from other people when i tell them what i’m doing and idk how to be like “nah it’s nothing” bc they always think i’m being humble or something but i just genuinely cannot conceive of the compliments they’re giving me. my essay was just nominated for an award and i appreciate that people like my work but that’s it

[genericpuff]

hi, i know the episode came out weeks ago, but i wanted to talk about ep 277 and your essay on it. i thought it was very well thought out and had brought up lots of concerns abt apollo's other victims and the harm persephone caused to others that i just. hadn't really thought about myself because honestly this webcomic is a BLUR to me LOL. thank you for writing these insights and putting them online for others to read ! i think you manage to keep a respectful distance to rachel [1/]

Yeah, regarding how the SA was handled...

I think Rachel did exactly as well as anyone might have expected someone like her to write a plotline like that.

Honestly if Rachel really did want to do the arrow thing, I think it would have worked WAY better if she had used the arrow of hate. First of all, because it had already been established back in S2 when it was shot at him by Psyche, but ALSO because making it an arrow of love confirmed that Eros literally did what Apollo asked despite the fact that he's Persephone's best friend and should have been more suspicious of what he was going to use it for. Why not just do a bait & switch where Apollo is under the impression that it's an arrow of love but Persephone trusts in her friend and pieces it together that it's probably an arrow of hate? It would also payoff the whole "news crew being nearby" thing (as well as all the other gods that just randomly showed up) because uh oh now they all see his true nature and he can't hide behind his lies anymore!

After all, as I mentioned in my previous post about this (the one I believe you're referring to) it's not like there wasn't already foreshadowing that Apollo was going to fall on his own sword the way of Mr Waternoose from Monster's Inc, he was already showing signs of cracking under the guilt that he was feeling towards how he treated Persephone/Eris/Hermes/etc. so why did it have to be Persephone taking a massive risk by sticking him with an arrow of love that still doesn't fully explain why he would even suddenly be a changed man? Loads of people like Apollo think they're in love / define their infatuation as love so I don't see how an arrow of love would suddenly make him empathetic to her pain. Especially when, again, he still begs her not to make him confess, so the guilt he's feeling is still completely empty and unmotivated.

I will leave this with one final thing that I saw the other day that very much reminded me of the Apollo SA plotline and I think it rings very true for the misdirected conclusion of the plot itself:

One of the biggest issues of the Apollo SA plotline, at least in my opinion, is that it never really gets to the root of why people like Apollo exist. There absolutely were strong foundations for this - he's the son of a guy who's known for being a serial cheater, he's popular and egotistical and is used to women wanting him, etc. - but all of those foundations kind of fell to the wayside in favor of turning Apollo into just another boogeyman, especially to lift Hades up as a "good man" by comparison (when Hades himself also falls on this spectrum). But many people like Apollo aren't just random guys in an alleyway or conspiring with some "higher power" that's manipulating them, they're men who fundamentally do not understand consent and assault on the varying spectrums in which it exists from "SA just exists, oh well" passiveness to "I'm an actual monster who gets pleasure out of victimizing women" aggressiveness. I think there's a lot to discuss about how people like Apollo exist WITHOUT sympathizing with them, but LO manages to do neither - not only does it give us uncomfortable and unnecessary looks into the rapist's POV more than we get the victims, but it does it in a way that doesn't actually address the issue of how people like Apollo come to be, it's just "Apollo is the big evil boogeyman who raped Persephone". Not only does it not actually put enough focus on the victims, but it reduces the societal and cultural complexities of where Apollo's brand of egotistical entitlement comes from to just "some guys just be evil like that". Guys like Apollo don't just come out of the womb like that, they're often shaped into what they are by a society that both excuses them for awful behavior towards girls ("Boys will be boys!") and enables - if not outright encourages - them to objectify women as trophies that they're entitled to. Even the seemingly innocent and sentimental practice of "giving away a bride" at a wedding is rooted in these patriarchal systems, with the belief that a woman first "belongs" to her father before being "given to" her husband.

It's the part of feminism that often gets overlooked - it's not just about uplifting female voices and helping survivors speak up about and heal from SA, it's also about deconstructing and challenging the patriarchal systems that lead to SA victims being created in the first place. Sure, Apollo got sentenced to building temples in the Mortal Realm, but what is that actually doing to address the bigger topic of how men like him come to exist in the first place? Especially when it was also treated as a good thing for TGOEM to be disbanded, instead of, idk... reworking it into a women's support group for survivors like Persephone?

IDK, it's a very complicated subject that you can approach from a million different angles, I don't think that my criticizing it should outweigh the opinions of those who were satisfied with the punishment that was given to Apollo (my saying the SA plotline sucked doesn't mean you're not allowed to find your own validation in it) but I do think that, at best, Rachel ended the SA plotline the only way she could because she herself is just not equipped to tackle such broad subjects that require a lot more education, experience, and nuance than what she's capable of writing. There are definitely 1298423108 better ways that plotline could have been resolved, but not with Rachel Smythe at the helm.

And that's my many cents on that.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

I was so impressed with your toe-to-toe comment on the French philosophy anon. So happy to have found you, omg! I heard Taylor called her ttpd set as the "female rage musical." I take it she knows the impact of the song Labour by Paris Paloma which has been dubbed as the female rage anthem. So naturally, here is the 34 year old culture vulture, can't-have-any-ideas-of-her-own that is Taylor Swift hopping there wanting to get the attention away from it when that song is quite phenomenal. One song compared to her 31 diss tracks that's nothing to me, at least, but the excessive sentimentality of an infantile woman in her 30s. It's gross the confessions she's put on that album. And even her own fans are comparing her to Olivia Rodrigo. That's she's copying everything about her - song, outfits, the "female rage" theme just to mock her. Somehow, Swift thinks it would do her a world of good. People are catching on to her antics which are absolutely disgusting, btw. I'm hoping one day you write about all these completely ridiculous gross things she's done using her own lyrics. You know what I mean? I hope someone write about her nasty lyrics and that it completely destroys her.

Thank you ha, I'm glad you found something meaningful in that post. I will not lie, that Anon actually hurt my feelings for a second (I got over it by writing my response), but I was upset at being so misunderstood. I'm not out here levying unreasonable criticism at Taylor Swift. All will be based on reality, or interpretation of her own lyrics.  I’m defs out to get her though- in the most legitimate way possible- and maybe someday I will publish for real on her. I have a couple of criticisms that I will not be putting on my blog- because I want to say it on a bigger platform. : )  

I do see a lot of harmful things in her music that I have been resisting the urge to write about for YEARS! Even back in 2009, listening to "Love Story" I remember thinking to myself, oh this is nothing like what Shakespeare meant and it's also a weird appeal to the patriarchy through the "I talked to your Dad/ Go Pick out a white dress." It's so clear that she's just reduplicating mainstream attitudes on romantic relationships by using Christian Conservative social standards of needing the father's permission to ask the girl's hand in marriage. She obviously wanted to attract the Christian- Conservative fan- base with that song, and that's exactly what happened. Her marketing is tied to the phrases she places inside her songs in a way that is extremely calculating. She, Afterall, learned from the best at attracting mainstream, Christian, conservative fans, Toby Keith (hate that fascist, white nationalist freak). (WHoops, that was mean- oh well, he’s dead anyway). (and if he wanted me to be nice- he shouldn't have been a fascist).  

It's so obvious, and I really figured everyone else was also aware of the ways in which Swift interpolates patriarchal standards in her music. I have many more examples- I could write a whole essay on it.  

Apparently, everyone thought she was a feminist? Bro, she became a "feminist" if only to evade criticism and capitalize on mainstream pop-feminist trends. She's not a real feminist. Her use of “feminism” to evade critique ties directly into her other marketing strategy of telling the world “I’m so innocent and young” all the time. 

Also, her co-opting of the phrase Female Rage has made me angry, exceptionally angry. I saw that she's trying to trademark the phrase. I am incensed. I will post about it soon. 

I wish Swift would stop co-opting legitimate terms and pulling only the most shallow- self-centered conception of the term out to use in her mediocre music. She’s like if Pinterest was a person- and I’m tired of it.  

Paris Paloma’s “Labour” is amazing, because guess what- it actually speaks about the experience of women under patriarchal standards in a way that respects the seriousness of the topic. I absolutely believe that Swift saw how viral that song went and decided she needed to cash in on that too.  

And she is totally copying Olivia Rodrigo. Can you imagine being 34 and trying to act 20? I would die of embarrassment. But it's so obvious that it's getting weird.

I have much more to say on this topic- sincerely I could write a book on the conceptual point of “Female Rage” in media. I have thousands of examples, and I’ve been studying this stuff for years. I will, however, ramble on no longer. Thank you for your kind words- and I hope you enjoy my upcoming writings.

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

Having a #1 Song doesn't mean SHIT anymore! It doesn't mean the song is a hit.

Let's be so serious rn. Nobody knows any of her damn fault track that keep charting. I asked my mom to name one song of hers and she could name "Shake it off."

Smooth Criminal went #7 in the US.

Remember the Time went #3 in the US.

Heal the World went #27 in the US.

They don't care about us #30 in the US. But it still went viral on tiktok. A song that is almost 30 years old!!

Thriller the song also never went to number one, but ask people to name one Halloween song they gonna name that song.

And what is more impressive, having 1M EAS the first day or still selling 1M EAS 15 years after your passed and more than 20 years after you dropped an album. Longevity is quality. 1M first day sales she's gonna sell that much for years. Hell, she be lucky if she even sold 50k in a year in 30 years.

5 music videos of his that are made in the 80's and 90's are about to have 1 billion views this year.

Billie Jean still gets 1M daily streams on Spotify.

I'm sorry if you aren't an Mjfan and I bring him up but he's the best example I can give you also because Swifties keep comparing her to him.

If people don't like the song they won't keep listening to it. And if Taylors song just stay in her fanbase and they just massstream her shit. Nobody is gonna know this song in 20 years.

Because what is the last hit Taylor Swift had that was known to the general public? Anti Hero maybe? Cruel Summer?

And something that is also funny is that, Remember when her drunk self got on stage and snatched the grammy from Celine Dion and didn't even look at her.

And people were pissed and her team was quick on working getting a picture with her to mend the damage.

Celine Dion has 5 Grammys and Taylor Swift has 14.

But they knew that Celine Dion got more respect from the GP then Taylor will ever have. And that is something you cannot buy. And they know if someone wins out of pure talent or just because of favourism. And let's be real. Most people know these award shows are rigged and they don't care about it.

Like when RollingStone came out with that fuck ass best singers list that put Taylor at #102 and excluded Celine Dion. People were mad that Celine was included but Taylor was.

Or just recently they also called her the better Adele. Nobody from the GP was like oh yeah that is true.

I mean they can try to name her the Queen of Pop in one of the award shows alà Michael Jackson style, but it's not gonna work with her. When he got that name people actually agreed and they still do. Outside Taylors cult nobody will agree with that.

Taylor's Team is aggressive with the Marketing and pushing these numbers onto us because they know outside of it she has nothing to offer. Her talent isn't marketable. Her singing and dancing isn't that impressive. The most marketable things about her career are her wealth and business success. Have they ever talked about her performance while she is on tour. What is so impressive what she does on stage? No they just keep talking about the money she makes.

No I completely get why MJ is a relevant comparison here. Swifties do keep comparing TS to him and for that alone they need to collectively get their asses beat. But you used good examples and I just want to applaud you for that

& you’re right, I can’t name a single vault track. Every time I’m exposed to her its against my will through my recommended (and its usually so out of place too because i watch really weird video essays).

Charts truly don’t reflect cultural impact because Drunk in Love by Beyoncé never went #1 and neither did Toxic by Britney Spears but both are super well known. Anti Hero is probably the last single to go #1 but I genuinely felt harassed by that song 😭 its sooooooooo bad

Yes! The vocal trinity—Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, and Whitney Houston—have done SO MUCH for music and all have less than half of Taylor Swift’s amount of Grammys. Celine and Mariah each have 5 and Whitney has 6.

I didn’t watch the Grammys this year (forgot to) but I heard about the Celine Dion incident I was SHOCKED because the audacity of this woman! Her entitlement shows in everything she does and she’s really starting to believe her commercial success makes her a better artist.

THE ROLLING STONE LIST WAS BULLSHIT. THEY DIDN’T INCLUDE JENNIFER HUDSON EITHER! Their definition of a “singer” was soooooooo bullshit too like that magazine’s merit has gone down so much in the past 20 years it should be regarded with way less status and credibility. And who tf called TS better than ADELE?

You’re right, her moniker will be chosen by the general public (probably from a viral tweet/tiktok/etc).

And she needs aggressive marketing because she really is a below average musician in all respects! She has her songwriting but she should’ve just been a hit songwriter (like Estelle Dean) not a singer. What makes her marketable is very “ordinary” image—which makes her relatable to “every girl, like me and you” 🙄 her soft voice really creates an intimate atmosphere especially with her vulnerable (but superficial) lyrics. She has to be friends with her fans for her success to work. Because there is no way you can justify her being regarded as a “god” the way people do with Beyoncé and MJ otherwise.

🎯 with the Eras Tour coverage. No one ever references or cites a particular jaw dropping vocal performance or dance number. It’s always the amount of wealth she’s generating.

[vickyvicarious]

Jack says so sullen when he says "evening" for some reason

liminal spaces! well, liminal times

"as if some tie were loosened" auuugh making it pretty explicit how Dracula prevents people from speaking. I can't believe there aren't a ton of essays about the use of speech/silence in this book

The way Mina says "dear" is so ......

oh god her voice trembling as she says "you are going to be so good to me"

"There is a poison in my blood, in my soul" the emphasis here is so good

god Mina is killing it here! agonizing to listen to her but also I am so impressed at how well she's managing this conversation.

(but she's so scared oh my god)

the way she says "and go out into the dark" is BREAKING ME

oh but in the midst of this her nerdy adorable "hotch-pot"

the wistful way she says "your lives are God's, and you can give them back to Him" because she can't anymore, she has been rejected. she's trying here but...

the little moment of silence after she tells them to kill her

"what is that time" once again Quincey getting right to the point

the way she goes from almost rushing "drive a stake through me and cut off my head" to trembling and almost losing her voice on "or do whatever else may be wanting" MINA

also. jonathan's silence through all of this is SOOOOOO

oh the music, and Quincey's voice going rough as he says "I swear to you"

Jonathan's voice shaking especially on "oh my wife"

god the absolute love and the tears with which she replies to him

"let it be at the hand of him that loves me best" god this is. agonizing to listen to

oh my god, Mina, telling van Helsing to get Jonathan to a) kill you and then b) look back on it as a happy memory is a pretty damn big ask!

the way Mina uses correcting herself in this conversation is so interesting

AAAAGH Jonathan's reaction to the request for the Burial Service

THE WAY THEY SAY "oh, my dear" and such KILLS ME

the pleading insistence on "it would comfort me, my husband". She knows he cannot refuse to give her comfort like this

FUCK JONATHAN READING IT. AND CONTINUING IN THE BACKGROUND/GOING IN AND OUT. AAAAAGH

and Jack crying this is so awful

Jonathan's crying breaths in as he asks "oh Lord, what is my hope? truly my hope is even in thee" first SO PAINFUL second SO GOOD third what perfect lines to end that segment on because he is trying to put his hope in God but is having great difficulty doing so, and Mina was his sustaining hope when he was trapped by Dracula but now she's the one in such terrible danger and-

his sniffles :((((((

Jack I think maybe Jonathan is as full of despair as ever. Glad you feel a bit better but I suspect it is not all of you.

[creativity-deficient]

So, in defense of Stanford Pines

As the gravity falls fan in me has awakened once again per the release of the Book of Bill, I wanted to write a quick character analysis/essay on one of my two favorite characters in the series, Stanford Pines.

Now it’s important to note that Ford is in fact, a very flawed character, and this essay is in NO means meant to downplay that. He’s absolutely an egotistical asshole who was way too in his own head and focused on the end goal to fully appreciate the people and things he has around him, which ultimately ended up playing a huge part in his downfall.

However I do want to talk a little bit more about his side of things, as this is something I feel like isn’t quite done enough justice in the series, making it easy to just see him as a jerk or take Stan’s side in the fight between them, and has always been something I’ve really appreciated about both Journal 3 and now, the book of bill, both providing a new perspective on his character and exactly WHY he turned out the way he did.

I want to start from the beginning, by delving a bit into Ford’s childhood.

It’s a common misconception in the fandom that Ford had a good relationship with his father. He was the loved child, while Stanley was the unloved child. Now there’s no denying that Stan’s relationship with his father was…considerably worse, but with how deep Ford’s own insecurities and his obsession to “be the best” lie, I find it very hard to believe that his own relationship with his father was a healthy one either.

Filbrick was considered a VERY strict man, who was not easily impressed, making it very likely that Ford was either groomed into thinking, or at least at some point convinced himself that his smarts were the only worthwhile thing about him, especially since he pretty much already felt like a freak because of his fingers.

It’s even mentioned in the book of bill that his father wouldn’t want him returning home without millions. I mean, does that SOUND like a loving father to you?

And that brings me to his falling out with Stan. Yeah, EXTREMELY dick move to let your father kick out your teenage twin brother over some dumb mistake, however, it’s always felt a bit weird to me, like there was much more going on then just “you destroyed my project I’m throwing out our entire brotherly bond we spent the last 17-18 years building fuck you” because let’s face it, huh??? Kicking your own TWIN BROTHER, who you have been best friends with all your life, to the curb for some dumb school you literally learned about DAYS ago was something that never made sense to me, and I always struggled to understand why and how it even had to come to that.

But, let’s look it at this way. To Ford, Stan was the only person he had. They were the only people each other had, the only people that truly got each other. Ford considered Stan the only person he could trust at that point in time, this only person who wouldn’t treat him differently than others. And what does that person do? Completely betray that trust and destroy his project. Yes, we know that it was an accident, but Ford didn’t. Was he wrong to automatically assume that Stan did it on purpose instead of just, you know, talking it out? Oh absolutely, but we already established that he clearly doesn’t have healthy coping mechanisms, and all things considered, I don’t think Stan really helped his case when it came to proving his innocence, as both before and even after the confrontation, all he can seemingly think about is their boat. All things considered, I can’t completely blame Ford for thinking it was an act of betrayal. Does that completely justify his response? Oh absolutely not. But I DO think the situation goes a bit deeper than people assume.

Then we have his time in gravity falls. It’s hinted at a bunch throughout the series, journal 3, and the book of bill that Ford, despite his anger, truly missed his brother, and regretted his actions towards him (the swingset and stan o war in his dreamscape, holding on to that photo of him and Stan as kids all those years, not being able to think back on his childhood at glass shard beach without growing sad, etc).

“Well, why didn’t he just contact him then???”

Well, to be fair, he kind of had a lot going on, and by a lot, of course, I mean Bill.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the relationship between Ford and Bill was EXTREMELY toxic. Bill, doing what Bill does best, leeched onto Ford’s already deeply set insecurities to led him into a false sense of security, one where bill and ONLY bill truly understood him, and that everyone else was out to get him and couldn’t see his true potential, effectively isolating him from his friends, family, and even society.

Ford went through HELL in this period of time. He was left alone by bill for long periods of time until he was desperate and dependent enough to lash out. He was gaslit and manipulated into pushing the people he cared about away. When he decided he wasn’t going to do bill’s bidding, he was literally TORMENTED for it. In all fairness, I don’t really think he was in the right mindset for ANYTHING during that time, losing himself in BOTH his own stubbornness and this endless cycle of abuse.

Despite this though, despite ALL of this, all the manipulation, their falling out, etc, Stan was still the first and ONLY person Ford thought of to take the Journals, the only person he considered to be trustworthy. Yes it was petty of him to bring up the project yet AGAIN (let it go my dude), but I do think it is important to acknowledge that he still thought of Stan pretty highly at the time, or else that wouldn’t have been the case.

“Oh but Alex he told Stan to get away from him yadayada!!!” Uh, no he didn’t. He just told him to hide the journals, not that he couldn’t come back afterwards, that was just Stan assuming the worst.

On that note, I do think it’s important to also acknowledge that while Stan is definitely, in the eyes of a lot of people as well as myself, the more sympathetic of the two, he’s definitely made his fair share of mistakes as well. I don’t think there’s really truly a right or a wrong in this argument, I think instead both of them are two very complex characters who had both been through a lot at that point, and both have made their mistakes (even if Stan’s were a bit more justified in most cases)

Then of course, he gets pushed through the portal, and spends the next 30 years between dimensions.

Now for anyone who hasn’t read journal 3 (spoilers ig? The book is pretty old atp but I figured I’d give one anyways) Ford is basically told by an oracle that he “has the face of someone who is destined to defeat bill” (a lot of people call him egotistical for assuming the oracle was talking about him and not his brother, but I digress. If an oracle looked YOU deep into your eyes and told you you had the face of someone destined to save the universe, be honest, would YOU think they were talking about your sibling??) Ford then proceeds to spend the next 30 years building a weapon to effectively defeat bill, and just as he’s about to finally use it, he’s sucked (not literally) back into gravity falls, not ONLY effectively erasing all of his hard work and progress, but risking weirdmaggedon in the first place. On TOP of it all, he also learns that Stan has been using his name all these years, and that he now has a pretty extensive criminal record.

Yes, Stan did it all in his best interest, and Ford could’ve absolutely shown more appreciation, but all things considered, I’d be pretty pissed off too.

But, all things considered, at the end of it all Ford still has those he hold close to his heart. He missed Stan all those years, considered Fiddleford a true friend and was super appreciative to have him there while they worked on the project together, he’s joyous to find out he has a niece and nephew, etc, and when he realizes he’s hurt these people, namely his brother and former lab partner, he feels immense guilt, and does everything he can to atone to it.

I truly think Stanford’s character development is one of the best in the series, as he finally learns to appreciate what he has instead of trying to chase down an unachievable end goal, and it’s definitely something that I feel goes unnoticed in the grand scheme of things when it comes to his character.

Now, what was the point of this 1 am ramble?? The point was the highlight the wonderful complexity of Stanford Pines’s character. Yes he was an extremely flawed man. Someone who pushed away those he loved him pursuit of greater things, and let his own pride be the fall of him. However, at the same time, he’s also a man who bears a lot of scars, both metaphorical and literal, and an extremely complex character who deserves a lot more than to be characterized as this “cold, uncaring asshole” something I’ve seen WAY too much of. I feel like it’s important to acknowledge that he’s made mistakes while also recognizing the complexity of a lot of it too, as well as acknowledging that he did indeed, learn from those mistakes.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

What are some of your favorite manga of all time?

Oh this will be one of the easiest asks I've ever received! You've got me all hype, anon!

Fruits Basket

Wanna get me to talk for hours? Mention Fruits Basket. This was the first manga I ever read back when I was still in elementary school and I've never grown out of my love for the series. I will always have a spot for this manga but it's honestly perfection to me.

I love the characters, the messages, the themes and the emotional depth this manga has made me feel over the years? I honestly wish I could experience Fruits Basket all over again. This is without a doubt my favorite shoujo manga of all time. I love all the characters, I love all the ships. Some of my favorite characters off rip have to be Tohru, Shigure, Hatsuharu and Arisa and Saki. But make no mistake I adore Yuki and Kyo and so on and so forth.

This series does such a great job in such a complicated subject matter concerning neglect and abuse in a way that humanizes the abuser without using said humanization to justify their shitty actions. You leave those moments understanding how that person became how they are but can still completely acknowledge how terrible they are. How you don't have to forgive that person for what they did. And that, if you do forgive that person, that doesn't mean you're just letting bygones be bygones and being kumbaya with them. You can forgive and forget or you can forgive and never forget and that's okay. Your forgiving and moving forward for yourself, not them. And that's one of the things I really liked in the series.

Fullmetal Alchemist

Another series you can get me talking for hours about. You will catch me watching video essay after video essay analyzing this story. I was so into FMA during middle school, one of my moms even bought me the games and made it habit to occasionally buy me the volumes! This is without a doubt, the best shounen has to offer. Quality female characters? Amazing action scenes? Stunning romance? Banger after banger with so many panels I can still recall perfectly.

My favorite volume is definitely volume 15! Because of the manga, Brotherhood is my preference when it comes to the anime adaptations. It has all the homies in it. Another series I wish I could just start from the beginning again with no memory of the source material. These brothers and their friends have altered the chemistry of my brain.

NANA

Still believe that one day Yozawa will grace us with her beautiful art and storytelling all over again. NANA was my first ever jousei read and my dive into jousei as a whole. Until that point all I had consumed were shounen and shoujo so the maturity of the series was one I wasn't expecting. I consumed this series when I was about in early to late middle school and it was so much fun to read.

Now that I'm in my late 20s, holy hell is this hard to binge the way I used to because the themes, the struggles of the character and the realism of those struggles are hitting a little too close to home now. So I can only do NANA in small doses now haha. I even got both of my moms into NANA. Which isn't too impressive when one of my moms has watched the anime of every manga I've mentioned on this ask, but my other mom is NOT an anime fan and she loves NANA so much.

Children of the Sea

Oh my goodness, you definitely oh it to yourself to read this manga. It's not a long a read by any means with only 5 volumes and 43 chapters but it was such a pleasure to read. Maybe this bias comes from someone obsessed with the ocean (which my url definitely implies) and the life teeming underneath the surface but wow this was truly an experience. I watched the movie first and then read the manga, and I'm not sure if that'll shape anyone's viewing experience differently but I do wish I had read the manga first. But both are truly great to check out.

If you want a story about a girl meeting two boys raised by dugongs, this is the story for you. One of my favorite aspects of this read were the side stories labeled Testimony of the Sea. It adds so much to the story without even directly influencing the plot as you see all the strange phenomena that take place in the sea leading up to this mysterious event drawing in our protagonists and what will continue well after its conclusion.

Skip & Loafer

Currently ongoing and a series I was not expecting to like as much as I did. I'm one of the people who got into sukirofa after the anime dropped. 2 episodes in and seeing the absolute beauty and grace of how the staff handled the protagonist's transgender aunt, I had to give this a read and I do not regret in the slightest. This is such a great series and a perfect example how one utilizes 'don't judge a book by its cover'.

Characters you meet at first glance? It only takes a chapter or two before their layers are peeled back and you see how much went in to crafting them and making them more complex than meets the eye. A perfect example of this is the character Mika.

But my favorite chapter has to be ch 29 where you learn what made Nao decide to come out and transition. If you haven't read this series, I won't spoil it, you have to read it for yourself. Prepare for a monthly update schedule, because once that day of the month pops up, it's amazing to see how the sukirofa fandom comes together to scream on twitter and tumblr.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

The series that gave birth to the greatest hater in anime history. Araki truly drinks and leaves no molecules every time a part comes out. Another ongoing series I didn't expect to like as much as I did. But it's become a series close to my heart since diving into it after I got over my initial hesitance with the art style. Honestly JJBA's art style really grows on you, especially as you see Araki's art and writing develop so spectacularly.

You get equal parts continuous story and standalone adventure. You do need other pieces of the pie, but each part still feels so rich and in-depth and bright and colorful. You don't feel like the new JoJo and characters introduced are extensions of previous existing ones or usurpers that have stolen the panels away from other characters. It's like watching a torch be passed down from JoJo to JoJo, generation to generation (which it technically is since this story follows the descendants of the JoJo that started it all, Jonathan Joestar).

Araki's biggest source of writing inspiration came from how he felt watching Prince concerts. How the story of the concert would suddenly flip and give you a whole new experience. I feel he truly has that down with JJBA.

Concubine Walkthrough

Can't believe I even forgot to add Concubine Walkthrough, so take this quick addendum. This is one of the best manhwa I've ever read in my life and not enough people talk about it. I'm working on a post right now all about why I recommend it.

If you're a fan of sci-fi, romance and want to read an otome isekai romp that subverts your expectations? Please read this manhwa. It's The Matrix mixed with historical Korean fiction (and of course, otome isekai at its finest).

I loved loved LOVED the philosophy behind the story, the themes. The discussion of what reality is and choosing what reality means/is to you. Just because your entire life is a simulation, does that make your entire life up until that point irrelevant? Simulated it may be, your joy, your pain, your love, all of that still felt real, right? There were so many things I never considered about that very topic until I read this series and I feel like more people should give it a go. It's not that long a read (only 128 chapters for the main story with some extra bonus content on the side), please please PLEASE read Concubine Walkthrough if you haven't already.

[pomefioredove]

Heyyyy if you are still open to some more matchups can I request a romantic one? You can pick anyone Students, Staff, or RSA/Noble Bell college people, i don't care either way. I really just want to know who you think fits me personality-wise best lol. 

Ok, so I guess I’ll tell you my appearance first, I’m 169cm so like 5’6, I’ve got very very curly reddish brown hair, and blue eyes that look purple to gray depending on the light. I have a lot of tattoos. Started with a stick and poke piece when I was 13 and have kept getting them even years later. I joke that instead of a sleeve I have a pair of pants, both my legs are covered in tattoos, one side black and the other color. People always tell me I'm incredibly easy to spot in a crowd. Pronouns are She/Her and my voice is kind of low and monotone maybe a bit husky.

As for hobbies... I love Boxing and MMA, I’ve been doing it competitively for a few years so I can comfortably say I can kick most people's ass. food is a bit of a love language for me so I cook pretty often and try a lot of different cuisines (current fav is Georgian, you have to try Khachapuri it's soooo good). I used to sing and play the drums though it's been a while so I'm probably not too great anymore. You know how some people listen to music for the lyrics while other people listen for the beat? I definitely listen more for the sound, I don't care what the song is about just how the sounds flow together... which is why I mostly listen to music in foreign languages, don't need to understand to lyrics to enjoy the beat.

My interests are mostly low key I like to study languages but I don't really try to become fluent just conversational i guess. I'm more inclined to learn about the aspects of a language than the grammar and stuff. Reading horror and what I like to call weird fiction. I love finding books that are a little odd the best example of this that I can think of is "House of Leaves" by Mark Z. Danielewsk. I really like weird things, normal things that have been a little twisted and made up in new ways if you get what I mean.

As for my personality... ugh I think I'm probably an acquired taste... it sounds bad but like I'm a really difficult person to get close to. I just don't trust easily and I'm not someone who entertains too much small talk without reason. An example is the fact I've known people for five+ years and still don't really consider them friends. Sure we hang out but like they don't know me and I don't know them. I'm just kind of prickly, with a major resting bitch face too. Though to make up for this I'm incredibly loyal. Once we've actually become friends there's nothing I wouldn't do for them. If they need help hiding a body I'm not gonna ask questions just gonna bring a shovel, take out for two, and tickets out of the country.

Oh and a current project of mine is to reverse-engineer a printer so that i can stick it to shitty corporations who think its reasonable to make you pay a subscription to use a printer that I ALREADY PAID FOR!! That last bit was mostly because i need to print out an essay of mine and I had to dust of the printer i haven't used in forever only to be met with a error message saying i had to pay my subscription to use the thing ugghh. So now i need to actually learn how to a soldering gun.

Sorry if my ramblings don't make much sense, I really don't think about myself too much so trying to describe myself was like insanely hard. Thank you!!!!!!!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

I match you with 𝐑𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐡𝐢

The First Impression:

Okay. His honest, true, first thought? You smell good. You smell like spices and warmth, so much so that he forgets what he's doing to turn in your direction.

Why He Fell:

"Prickly" and "hard to get close to" aren't terms in Ruggie's dictionary. He would crawl into a sewer if he thought he'd get something worthwhile out of it, and, hey- to him, you're pretty worthwhile!

He may or may not trail behind you like a lost puppy for a little while, at least until you take pity on him and give the poor thing a good meal. But, like with most stray animals, feeding him only brings him back.

Over time (and a few meals), Ruggie starts to bond with you on a more personal level. He'll ask about each of your tattoos, let you ramble to him about whatever it is you're working on, and take little notes on how sharp and crafty you are in the meantime.

The Relationship:

Ruggie has absolutely no shame. Will gladly eat every single thing you make him without even asking what it is, all while dousing you with compliments about it. If making people food is your love language, then eating food is his.

You're just really nice to have around, right? And hey, your beat-em-up skills definitely don't hurt! He's a scrawny guy, he can appreciate standing behind some muscle. He also finds the way you understand sound, in both music and language, to be fascinating, especially considering how sensitive most beastmen's ears are. He can relate to how you describe it.

He's never one to judge, either, so take your time getting comfortable around him! He'd never admit it, but he's pretty much the same way- it takes a lot to actually get his walls down. You can do it together, huh?

[rosekasa]

HELLO PERSON WHO DEFINITELY DIDNT REBLOG THAT ASK GAME JUST BECAUSE I WANTED TO ASK QUESTIONS HAHAHA NO DEFINITELY THAT WAS NOT ABOUT ME

💖 Which of your fics is your pride and joy? (is this like asking you which is your favorite child)

🎭What genre of writing comes easiest to you? (hee hee it doesnt just have to be about fanfiction either !!)

🙌What's a line or paragraph of yours that you're proud of? (your writing is so beautiful if someone else already asked you this PLEASE still answer it again with another line or paragraph 🥺 I'm begging)

🍎What's something you learned while researching for a fic? (I KNOW you look up and learn lots of things while writing)

⏳If you could go back in time and tell your younger writer self something, what would it be? (🥺🥺 you always have such insight)

HI PERSON I DEFINITELY DIDNT REBLOG THIS FOR I LOVE YOU AHDJSJS

💖 Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

like poles of a magnet for SURE. i adore that fic. im not really sure why im so attached to it but it's really my baby. i love it so much

🎭What genre of writing comes easiest to you?

oh youre gonna think im so lame. it's essay writing. ahdjsjdkaksk. i think i told you before but i write book reviews for every book i read and my writing feels so Natural then because it's like. every line has a purpose to prove my point about the book. whenever im feeling rusty with narrative writing i find myself telling myself 'okay pretend this is an essay and this whole story is trying to prove your thesis about the characters' ahdjsj

🙌What's a line or paragraph of yours that you're proud of?

bren 🥹 ily. my hanahaki wip is really fun and i feel like has a lot of good writing because it really demands a lot of descriptiveness. i have this section when adrien sees gabriel for the first time in a while that i kept scrolling up and rereading

He knows, logically, that this is his father. You can't forget a face like that, the face you searched for in vain at every fencing tournament, piano recital, fashion gala that you knew full well he hadn’t attended but you were tired and wanted an adult to hold your hand and guide you around the crowds. 

It is that face. But a mimicry of it, like a portrait with the wrong proportions.

He’s gaunt — it’s the first word that comes to mind. His eyes sit deep in their sockets beneath his glasses, jaw a sharp trapezoid attached to his cheeks. It’s not just a matter of losing weight over the months — which, even if it was, would be a surprising deviation from the seventy-five kilos he had not shifted a decimal of a gram from in thirty years. It’s everything else, the biology hidden behind the layers of perfectly-tailored clothing, and well-combed hair, and skin, although pristine, textured like paper over the canvas of his skull. 

🍎What's something you learned while researching for a fic?

did i ever tell you about how when i went to paris last year i literally knew where everything was by arrondissements because ive searched them up so many times for ml fics. i think it was even specifically rue lepic that i remember the most because i once wrote about ladynoir patrolling around there and it turned out to be the road right next to my hotel (yes, we got a hotel in pigalle, my paris knowledge did not supply me with what exactly pigalle is known for,)

⏳If you could go back in time and tell your younger writer self something, what would it be?

literally not to lose that unwarranted confidence i had. at age eleven i was pounding out 50k+ word multichapter fics for my first fandom and like. the plots are so questionable. but when i reread them now im genuinely impressed at the quality of writing i had at that age. i think as i hit 13/14 i went through that phase where i was like ohhh my god i was sooo embarrassing when i was a kid and that insecurity really hindered my writing progress! i think creativity needs you to be unapologetic and cringe. that's when the best stuff is made because it's Real

i love you bren!!!

[run2seob]

5 things you like about 5 of your moots?

turned from subtly fangirling to "i'm (not)subtly in love with u and your blog" but thank u for the ask bcs i have an excuse to >:)

@gyuletters

her ability to write a variety of genres without using cliches

her kindness ^^ she's always complimenting accounts and writng the best reblogs

her theme (it's soo pretty) and how well it represents her. star's personality is so sweet and i feel like her theme reflects that

she comes up with the best prompts too! like i'm envious of her brain

how comforting her fics are (and binge worthy~)

@junoswrlld

even before me and juno became close, they were so so kind to me T0T

her ability to pace herself and balance her fics and personal life (i genuinely could not do this like.. admirable, seriously)

her crack ficshehsh they're so good >< she makes chapters leave you with suspense every time

how many memes she finds. it's one of my fav things because how do i wake up to 40 cat and scrimbo memes 😭

how reliable she is!! i can trust her with my fics and spoilers and it's so nice :> she gives motivation and gained my trust so easily :')

@mazeinthemoon

i can't believe i only have to do five?? i need more space to write about how moon writes. the way emotion is captured into her writing is filled with suspense but also comfort? like, in between dialogue, there's those quotes that you replay in your mind over and over again because how could someone think of that?

^^ adding onto this, the way she incorporates figurative language into her text perfectly captures the moment. it's not blatant and keeps the sentence flow which is impressive. as a writer i respect moon even more because even i struggle with that T0T

i've said this for everyone but can you blame me? they're all kind, moon included! she's always answering asks in the kindest way

^^ additionally, the way she types is so cute. and by this i mean kaomojis and emoticons. i love emoji faces so much hehe

best for last ofc~ her fics in general! glitter and the goalie both had me hooked. like essay long notes and annotations. i might reread glitter because of how on the edge it had me and bcs of her recent post.. detective reader activated >:)

@hueningsloverr

RHIA'S ANGST. that's shakespeare's child now, seriously. the way she writes angst is beautiful.. but like beautiful in a way where it feels like a pretty statue of a little girl crying but it's beautiful. beautiful in the way where it hurts but is pretty... makes you cry tears bcs of how well it was written yk?

the way she views things is soo beautiful. like in her reblogs and how she views songs. (could write an essay) when she wrote txt x time in a bottle it fit with the boys perfect and was just so pretty. there's so many quotes i remmeber and trust i'm not forgetting

i'm gonna make these shorter but how many ideas she comes up with. i could never T0T

her themeee

i wished i talk to her more!! i'm always scared to talk to my moots but i love her pseonality i would be so happy to talk to her more but i'm too scared

@huenation

themethemetheme it's so cute

idk if this counts but i was reading their bf beomgyu texts and was listening to hea and read the "oh my god" as the same time as the song said it and can't forget about that 😭

ugh my top 5 comfort fic being soobin meeting yns parents like.. i love this fic so much and ik this isn't recs but they write so well 😭 the moment is always described in the best ways and i can visualize them so well

i don't talk to amor much but i love their posts/txt reblogs ><

and that i wish them happiness. i know a lot of people's posts and writings reflect their emotions, and i just hope they're doing well. everyone has bad times, but it really depends what mindset you approach them with, you know? i just hope they get to smile :)

[loosesodamarble]

Hi Erika! For your ship game, can I get your thoughts on Obanai x Mitsuri (kny), Jellal x Erza (Fairy Tail), Lumiere x Secre (BC), and if I can be a little bold (and because I’m very curious), Henry x my oc Lorelei? Also, if you haven’t gotten asked about them Nacht x Josele (but I’m sure you’ve been asked already). Please 💖 Thank you! (Sorry if that is too much 😅)

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Oh Acacia, you absolutely SPOIL ME! 🥰💖

Buckle up, folks, this’ll be a long post.

…..

To start, there shall be a trend in these ships that boils down to “brooder and comforter.” One half of the couple is a bit (or maybe a lot) down on themselves and their partner is the warm embrace they need in life. The dynamic will forever and always be beautiful to me, just as much as “two pure sweethearts.”

Obanai x Mitsuri

Makes sense and 1000% compelled by it.

Obviously Obanai and Mitsuri fit that to a tee! Obanai is very clearly a broody boy and he states outright that Mitsuri saved him with her cheerfulness and smile. But it would be a massive disservice to the ship to ignore that Obanai also was Mitsuri's comforter in a way. She felt the way that he looked at her with affection whenever they were together which meant the world to her since she felt like it would be hard to love. They never judged each other and felt loved with one another and AAAAHHHHH HADKJHFLKAUHEILTHALEKTHKAEJG!

I know I've brought this up in the past but it bears repeating that I love this ship so much that I managed to work it into a college paper about depictions of (failed) romance in Japanese literature. Because, well, in a sense Obanai and Mitsuri's love wasn't successful. Let me share a bit of that essay to get my point across.

This mutual but unrecognized love is best described by the chapter title revealing Obanai’s backstory. The Japanese title is “hitsūna renjō” (悲痛な恋情) which I would translate as “a painful, miserable romance.” Mitsuri and Obanai’s feelings of self-loathing make their love a painful burden on their hearts. Even their confession is ultimately tragic, as both are in tears and on the cusp of death when their feelings come out.

Then again, the cycle of reincarnation allowed that love to continue and be acted upon. Still, this ship makes me VIBRATE with all the emotions. It's so unfair that Gotoge was able to invest me in this romance with only brief snippets and a small reassuring epilogue. And then the fandom just hammers the stake deeper into my heart. ObaMitsu. Beloved ship~!

.....

Jellal x Erza

OOOOHHHHHH! Man, it's been forever and a half since I really watched Fairy Tail but Jerza is that ship that sticks with you (and Gajevy but that wasn't the ship asked for, now was it).

So much sense is made with the ship and it'll never not compel me.

Again, Jellal is the more blatant brooder but Erza has plenty of moments of hitting low points (and it's usually over Jellal). And again, they both act as a source of hope in each other's lives. These two knew each other as kids and they made strong impressions on each other clearly. I mean, Jellal made some strong impressions on many people for a variety of not good reasons... ANYWAYS! It makes so much sense that Erza is always holding out hope for Jellal because his turn to darkness back in the day was very out of the blue so deep down in her heart, she'd know that something wasn't quite right. And even as she loves him, Erza expects Jellal to take responsibility for his actions. You talked about it yourself when discussing this ship but with Jerza, their personal feelings don't immediately mean Jella's sins/crimes can be ignored. He has to work to right them and fix himself. Jellal changes not because he's browbeaten into it but because he wants to be better for Erza. And Jellal isn't the only one changing. Erza is able to open up and let herself wish a little more because the trauma of their history is slowly being healed. Their love is such a journey. Multiple times they're pulled apart before finding each other again. And each time they meet, they heal a little more, grow a little closer.

.....

Lumiere x Secre

I won't say as much about these two as the others but I'm still a sucker for them!

In this case, Secre is the brooding soul while Lumiere is her comfort. She looked down on herself and her magic while Lumiere saw potential and inspiration. Lumiere gave Secre something to hope for and she gave him devotion. The way Secre's love endures over the centuries and she remembers to have hope from Lumiere's example is something that makes their love really special without them ever having to be in a relationship. We don't get Lumiere's perspective on Secre directly but the fact that he named his super special magic tool (the big spherical one) after her says quite a bit to me. She's important and special and helpful in Lumiere's eyes. Secre living on while Lumiere moves onto the afterlife is sad but he wishes her more happiness in a continuing future, even without him. It's an ending of separation but not of mourning and it's beautiful (even if I wish Lumiere could've stuck around).

.....

Henry x Lorelei

UwU CC x OC time~!

I actually did read the fic where they meet a bit ago. It's just in my queue for reblogging. But ooooooohhhhhhh! I CAN GUSH HERE!

So I will be real, there is one detail of the ship that doesn't make sense to me. But that's Tabata's fault for making it that even low mana people feel drained by an extended exposure to Henry's mana draining. It's just unfair that really no one but Asta can safely be around him with his curse in place. So it's not on you. You made every other aspect of the ship wonderful. Henry definitely would fall for someone as openly sweet as Lorelei and her sense of whimsy is a wonderful complement to Henry's loneliness. The way he so shyly begins to talk to her is so in character and I think adding Lorelei to Henry's backstory helps explain why he's easily able to just talk to Yami and later Asta since he now has experience meeting someone new. Lorelei's Lucky Magic seems interesting (and fits in with David's Dice Magic) and well, I think it brought luck to both her and Henry. And do I even need to say it but this ship got me hooked with one fic. It may need more time in the microwave before it finds a permanent spot in my heart but... I'm digging the vibes already.

…..

Nacht x Josele

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

I’ve talked Nacsele before for the ask game but I’m gonna talk again!

GAAAAHHHH! The way Nacht always loved Josele and was content(?) to simply love her from afar... Josele harboring her love for Nacht when she felt he didn't love her back... It gets so messy when she's with Morgen because he truly did make her happier than words could say. But half of Josele's heart was with Nacht. And when they finally get together, after much heartache and soul searching and doubting, it's gorgeous. Nacht is so hesitant about the relationship that he doesn't even call Josele his girlfriend for a while because he still sees Josele as Morgen's love. Josele too was hesitant, not wanting to risk her happiness being destroyed again, but once she got a talking to from one of the Bulls, she embraced the chance to be with Nacht and helps him with his steps into the future.

AND I LOVE THEIR FUTURE TOGETHER! Josele never really stops mourning Morgen and the future they could've had. But she doesn't lose sight of the future she's attained with Nacht. She loves Nacht and the way he's able to forgive himself. And Nacht accepts that Josele will always have Morgen in her heart, he really wouldn't have it any other way. Nacht slowly but surely frees himself of his guilt and self-loathing to full embrace all the affection that Josele always had for him.

My ship... I love...

..........

AND I LOVED TALKING ABOUT AAAAALLLLL THESE SHIPS! AAADJHGLKHAIUHAETKJHAETUHUI!

Thanks for the chance to ramble, Acacia~!

[musette22]

I was listening to the new podcast episode with Seb, and he mentioned being more director-oriented than before, going after particular directors to get the more challenging, unique stories like The Apprentice and A Different Man, and, of course, my first thought was dirty (oh, yeah, pursing strong direction, I see you Seb 👀), but then... of course, my evanstan heart took that idea and ran.

Imagine, if you will, Chris taking a crack at directing again, aiming high, not exactly for himself but because he cast Sebastian as his lead and he wants to, more than anything, lead Sebastian to be the fucking best he can and transform him into another one of those unforgettable characters he's known for bringing to life.

I don't know, just, the thought of Chris pushing himself to direct his wild and free and brilliant boyfriend is so sweet to me. I have no idea what that story would be, but I would love to see it <3

Ooohh thanks for the link!! And also lmao, of course your first thought was dirty, wouldn't expect anything less (and that is 100% a compliment btw!) But also also, of course the next thing you thought of was Evanstan 🥹 That's where my mind immediately went too! I just think it would be wonderful to see Chris do more directing, and the way you describe Chris as wanting to aim high not just for himself, but for Sebastian, who is brilliant and deserves to work on a high quality project, is so sweet and so Chris. He'd absolutely feel that way and let it lift him to another level of directing!

And conversely, I think that Sebastian would thrive under Chris's firm but kind guidance (not just in a personal context 👀 but also professionally). Not to mention the fact that Sebastian's innate desire to be good and perform well would be dialled up to eleven when it's Chris's he's trying to please... Makes me think of how I once got the equivalent of an A+ on an tricky essay assigned by a professor I had a crush on and whonI just really wanted to impress and have him be proud of me 🙈 And Sebastian would no doubt want the same from Chris, so he'd be giving it 110% and probably give the best performance of his career yet (and given the fact that he's usually outstanding, that's saying something). Aahh just imagine the press and audiences lauding them as the next Scorcese and DiCaprio (but cuter and gayer) 🥹

I also can't think what such a story would be, right now, but arghh, the possibilities are endless! We can only dream and hope 💖💖

Thanks for sharing your lovely thoughts with me, S! Hope you're having a great Sunday 😘

[swampstew]

Blind Date Event - Yamato X Reader

Thank you to everyone who submitted applications for my Blind Date Matchmaking Event. I hope you enjoy these lovely bedtime stories during this week of overpriced chocolates, flowers and heart shaped things.

Mostly fluff, SFW, Yamato(he/him) X GN(they/them) reader, first blind date experience. WC: 930. Minors DNI - my content is for mature audiences only

Yamato was practically bouncing in his chair at the ramen shop he had taken you for your blind date. The ride to the small restaurant was quiet as you held on to his waist. He had picked you up in his teal MotoTec Phantom 49cc – and not having ridden a motorcycle before – you were silent via anxiety as your arms gripped him tightly when he rounded corners. You didn’t see it happen, but the action made his face split with a smile each time.

The ramen shop is called Oden’s Pot. You were both new to match making so you’re both equally nervous. Excited jitters rippled through Yamato while the waiter refilled your glasses, taking your orders.

“_______ tell me more about yourself! We’ve been talking about my background and job as a bouncer at the hottest queer bar in the city but I really want to know more about you!”

You sip on your water as you try to summarize yourself in as few words as possible.

“Oh um, well I already told you about my job. Hum…I guess I’m just down to Earth. I enjoy simple pleasures like playing video games, watching movies and YouTube essays, and I’m a big fan of listening to music while I do art or other creative endeavors,” you slowly trail off, hoping he won’t ask to see any of it.

“Wow can you show me your art?!”

Damn.

Fingers trembling, you pull out your phone to share one of your finished pieces. You’re quite proud of it, even if you won’t say so yourself, trying to downplay your own work.

“Nope, not buying that _____. Art is subjective, there is no grading scale that determines how good it is. If you feel proud of the work you put it, that’s the real value of your art. Personally, I’m not that great beside some doodling but THIS <points to your phone> is damn good!”

You smile bashfully. He said the same thing your close friends have told you countless times. You felt like you could share more of your artwork and not once did he subject you to unsolicited constructive criticism or ask you to draw him on the spot.

When your food arrived, you took turns playing 21 questions and other ice breaker games provided in the blind date packet you received from the Medium Matchmaker. Yamato was enthusiastic through it all, even during the slightly more uncomfortable games and topics that were suggested in the pack. You were skeptical of the whole idea when you saw the online application. However, now that you were here and actually enjoying Yamato’s company, you were glad your best friend forwarded you link.

Yamato wasn’t rude or aggressive with you like your previous disaster dates had been. He wasn’t some meathead gym bro even though he had impressive muscles on his tall body – he swears its hereditary, his family being from a different country. He’s incredibly handsome without being arrogant and you appreciated that. He was down to earth and easy to talk to. Being easy on the eyes and having magnificent hair was a bonus too, you felt butterflies in your stomach.

Not wanting the night to end, Yamato ordered several desserts for you to share. “I just want a taste of everything,” he speaks softly, blushing furiously as he drains his water. It made you giggle.

“Oh wait that’s not an innuendo!” alarm flashes on his face, sputtering water to the side. That made you laugh out loud; you reached out to pat his hand in understanding before he really panicked.

Through dessert, the topic of conversation got a little heavy. Yamato was brave enough to disclose the abuse he suffered from his father who raised him single handedly. Not because he wanted you to pity him but because he’s an open book. He has nothing to hide nor shame about his past. You were impressed with his strength, with his ability to cut out the toxicity from his life and move on to build himself up with no one else to support him. You felt like this is a person you can get close to. A person you can share intimate details of your life without fear that he’d freak out or reject you.

The ride back to your home was more relaxed. You felt secure in his company as he swerved between traffic; not once showing off in a way that would put you in harm’s way. He walked you up to your front door, fingers twitching as he considered how to end the night. Not quite wanting to leave but also not wanting to make assumptions.

“_____, I had a really nice time tonight. If you feel up to it, I would like to take you on another date. Maybe see that new blockbuster horror film that comes out on Friday?” He tapped his forefingers together nervously as your eyes widened.

You smile, “I had a nice time with you too. I’d love to see that film with you for our next date.”

He looked so relieved. “Yeah? Awesome! I can pick you up then, same time as tonight?”

“That sounds like a plan,” you twiddle with your keys in hand.

“I don’t want to be presumptuous but do you want to come inside? I could go for a cup of tea and some Mario Kart. Unless you don’t like the taste of dust as I leave you at the starting line.”

Yamato’s gorgeous orbs lit up, “Oh you’re SO on _____. I call dibs on the Flame Runner bike!!”

[nroibdodyl3e1r]

Hi ! here is the first chapter of my fiction. I just finished it so maybe I'll edit it later.

Olive's babysitter

Notes: I aged Dwayne because in the movie he's 15 and I didn't feel comfortable writing about him at that age, so I gave him 18 (he's a senior in high school.) Also, this is my very first time writing. Don't hesitate to tell me what I can improve, and give me your opinion and ideas! I hope that you will like it! English is not my first language, I do my best to correct myself but there may still be some mistakes.

Chapter 1 a strange day

You have been babysitting Olive for 3 months now. You pick her up from school, take her home, help her with her homework and of course, you help her practice. Recently you even stay for dinner.

Sheryl is happy to be able to rely on you. Grandpa often offers you to smoke a joint with him and gives you questionable advice about men. Richard talks about his 9 steps all the time and you have acquired the very useful skill of pausing your brain to not listen to him but still knowing when to nod your head to give the impression that you are listening. Olive sees you as the best big sister in the world. You don't know what Dwayne thinks of you, the fact that you've never heard him speak and the fact that he's very explicit about how much he hates everyone doesn't help.

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"Oh shit I'm going to be late!" was the first thing you said this morning. Putting on your t-shirt and sneakers at the same time, you storm out of your room, grab your bag, and leave your house.

By some miracle, you arrive just in time for your first class of the day. You look around when you get to your classroom and see Dwayne sitting in the same place as always; in the back by the window. You smile slightly at him as if to say hi and sit down where there is still a seat. Dwayne has a few classes in common with you but your schedules don't match up at all. You made yours so that you would finish early enough to pick up Olive from school every day.

High school is not really your thing. The day went well and thank god no one came to talk to you. It's not that they are bad but your social anxiety keeps you alone most of the time. You do have a few friends but you're not very close to them, and it doesn't bother you that much.

As soon as you arrive at the elementary school Olive comes to you with a big smile. 

"Y/n!"

"How are you, your majesty?"

"I'm doing great!" she replies with an even bigger smile than before.

You grab her backpack and head back to the Hoovers' house together.When you arrive only Grandpa is there, he is taking a nap on the sofa with his mouth wide open and his arms crossed over his belly. You take a waffle out of the freezer and put it in the toaster while Olive puts her bag in her room. Then she comes to the table and tells you everythings about her day while eating. After a while Richard arrives, tossing his keys on the kitchen cabinet.

"Hello y/n. How are you?"

"Fine and you?"

"Great, I had a lot of people at my conference today."

Suddenly Grandpa wakes up.

"How much did you have to pay them to listen to you talk for so long?"

"Hello, dad." replies Richard losing all his good mood.

You look away quite amused.

After finishing her waffle Olive goes out into the garden with Edwin to repeat her choreography. So it's time to start your homework, you're still working on an essay for your English class. After 20 minutes of trying to write the same paragraph, you throw yourself back in your chair and let out the biggest sigh possible. Dwayne arrives at that moment. You sit up suddenly, a little nervous. He goes straight to his room as always.

You remember the first few weeks you were babysitting Olive how your heart would jump in your chest when he came home. That's when you realized you had a crush on him. Although you still didn't understand why. He acted like you didn't exist, but that's changed now, he would pass you the bottle of Sprite at the table when you asked, and once he even let you into his room to lend you his history textbook. You felt more comfortable around him even though you were still nervous. 

After a little while, he comes out of his room and comes to you. He hands you his notebook where it says "Want need with your essay?". Surprised, you look at his face and he is completely inexpressive. This is the first time he has offered to help you. Slightly shocked you just say a brief "yes". With a sign of the head, he tells you to follow him into his room. You stand up quickly, grab your notebook and follow him with your eyes wide open. Are you dreaming? That's so unusual coming from him.

Without a sound, he sits down at his desk, takes your notebook, and starts reading and making notes on it. You hesitantly sit down next to him on his bed and remain completely silent. After a while he gives you back your notebook, he had corrected some sentences and written some things that you had to add.

"Thank you, Dwayne, that's really nice. I- I don't know how to return the favor."

He scribbles something in his notebook "Don't hesitate if you need help".

"T-thanks." You were completely shocked, this is the first time you'd ever seen Dwayne be so nice to someone.

Dinner is ready!" shouts Sheryl.

"y/n, honey how are you?"

"Fine thanks” You finish setting the table with her and the whole family arrives.

You sit in front of Dwayne, staring blankly at your plate without saying a word, still in shock at what has just happened. You are snapped out of your thoughts by Edwin.

"What about you, Y/n? How are the boys doing in high school? There must be a lot of them after you?”

You laugh nervously and answer in a semi-serious tone "Actually no".

"WHAT!?" shouts Edwin "I don't understand young people these days."

You laugh nervously one last time. Your gaze turns again to your plate and you cast a discreet glance at Dwayne without him seeing you. His face has a strange expression that you can't define. You finish clearing the table, hug Olive, and tells her "good night Olive. See you tomorrow" with a sweet smile. You greet the rest of the family and look at Dwayne for a second, you gather what little courage you have left for the day and throw him a big, sincere smile.

And that’s the end of this long and strange day. You go home, still in shock. That night you struggled to fall asleep, dissecting every second you spent with Dwayne to try to understand his behavior. Finally, you fall asleep with even more questions than before.

[transgender-eichi]

your turn mutual! Top 3 Danganronpa and Enstars characters! :D

big essay type paragraph, so it's under the break:

aahh its been so long since i played danganronpa!!

since i've only played the official games, my faves from eacj game:

Trigger Happy Havoc: Leon Kuwata

rest in pieces. Idk what it was about him but i just really liked him. His design, his personality, his struggles. He defo didnt get enough development (since he got executed first...) but he's my top fave i think. I just really like him.

DR2 Goodbye Despair: Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu

again, i dont really know why i like him, i just love LOVE his character arc in the game. he's just a little guy tbh. He's also my only fave that actually survived in the games lmao

DRV3 Killing Harmony: Kaito Momota

I LOVE HIM. he deserved better :(. although i dislike how they ended the series with the whole meta thing, i have to say i still liked the game alot. Kaito could be a little annoying but i genuinely loved him. He just wanted to be an astronaut man. Love him

I should really replay the games tbh. I have them all on the switch-

ENSEMBLE STARS!!!!

1. Tomoya Mashiro

oh my god i love this boy so much. genuinely. I cant even remember when i started liking him, because he wasn't my original favorite character. It was his RELOADED card that got me into his character though. I'm a big zombie and zombie apocalypse guy, and seeing this little guy in a ZOMBIE APOC THEMED CARD!! made me go a little insane. And it just kinda spiralled from there- I love his design, his personality, his interests, his struggles, his interactions with the other characters- he's just an incredible character to me. He's the "Average" boy, but he's honestly so, so much more than that. He's the leader of Ra*bits, (my favorite unit and imo the best one~), he's an incredible actor, he reads manga, he loves animals (he's got like a disney princess-like power with animals-), he loves his omurice, he loves idols, he loves his unit, he's just so passionate. His insecurities speak to me personally too, and it's like this little guy was made just for me. He may seem cute and plain, but he's such a nuanced character. It's the way that, since he feels boring surrounded by all of the chaos and such from the idol world, he's able to stay right-minded- such as in the RELOADED story. He's so insecure about being forgotten or being uninteresting, and he wants to stand out because he believe that he isn't impressive or special enough to be a good idol, and he works on that every day. He's a leader, and a friend, and can bring a certain bluntness and reason-mindedness when he needs to. He's just, hands down, my favorite character in the entire game.

2. Mao Isara

Mao was my first ever favorite in the game, and has constantly remained a favorite of mine since the beginning. This can be partially accredited to my bsf ( @autisticmao ) lmao, but also i just honestly love him. He's so underrated and such an interesting and deep character, with a beautiful voice, appearance, and personality. I genuinely love him as a character, and always will.

3. Yuzuru Fushimi

It's actually also Ky's fault that i started liking yuzu aswell, even if they somewhat deny it. They introduced yuzumao as a ship to me (which is one of my fave ships still tbh) and i kinda just started loving his character. His backstory is so interesting and the way he interacts with other characters, and his personality, and just. He's such an interesting character. I may not be the biggest finé fan (im defo not an eichiP, despite my username), but yuzuru's just different for me. I love him quite a lot for many reasons.

aaandd that's all! if you wanna know more lmk, im happy to share :D

especially about tomoya. i love him sm.

ofc there's other characters i like quite a lot, but these are my top faves.