#I don't even know how to explain it
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how is DID the most subtle yet obvious disorder ever
#I don't even know how to explain it#did#System#Did osdd#Endos dni#Did system#System things#Dissociative system
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i love you so much my heart could explode from all these feelings any time now and i would die the happiest woman on the planet. i love you so much i teared up upon realising this was the last time in a long time i could smell the only perfume that makes me feel safe.
you are my home.
#personal#i don't even know how to explain it#i never thought you could love a person this much let alone not romantically and/or sexually#she is everything to me#you don't understand#we snuggled for like an hour and a half straight today and i didn't let go. not even once.#and physical touch is not my favourite thing#but she makes me feel so safe. and seen.#platonic love#best friend#if something ever happens to me (i am a hypochondriac not... the other thing... moving on lol) i want her to find my tumblr account/log in-#-here and find this. because i love her more than words van describe#love your friends
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google how to become normal about some guy
#june shines#june muses#how do you miss someone you met three weeks ago#i'm so excited to get to know him better next semester#IS THAT WEIRD#am i crazy#this feels so#like this feels like how i thought liking someone was supposed to feel#which is a foreign experience#i don't even know how to explain it#just feels right and Okay :)#ok done yearnposting goodnight#jk i will be back AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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there's something about gaalee fics that just Get It ya know
#everytime i read a gaalee fic im filled with happiness and content#i don't even know how to explain it#like they're all rly good at showing familial and friend bonds too#they also all hurt my heart#naruto#moon posts#gaalee
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For some reason that last vid I rb'd was really soothing to me before the punchline IDK why but that form of speaking is so relaxing
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i swear this song (and specifically experiencing it live) has permanently altered my brain chemicals
#amaia#i don't even know how to explain it#it's not like a particularly interesting or exceptional song in her repertoire#but it does something to me#it tickles something that's for sure#Spotify
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steven meeks’ trans energy visible from space
#thoughts by parker#you can not convince me this boy is not trans#i don't even know how to explain it#dead poets society#dps#dead poets#steven meeks#trans steven meeks
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Brooo why is my math teacher looking so hot todayy!!!???
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Wind Waker Link is the epitome of why 12-year-olds scare me
#he made himself the chosen one#I don't even know how to explain it#little ball of sass#wind waker#the legend of zelda#link#zelda#breath of the wild 2#loz#tloz
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Photo
#sweet#the sweet#sweet band#live for today#disco#1977#brian#his nose scrunches up when he sings like that#i love#but also even when he's not doing dances#he's always doing SOMETHING that's like#'omg look at him' even if#he's actually doing nothing#just the WAY HE IS is like#the way he stands#and just#i don't even know how to explain it#i have never seen a person like him before and never will
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there has been Another mac and cheese Incident
#i swear the day i actually manage to make this without having a disaster is the day i succeed and become an adult#this time it's the milk#i don't even know how to explain it#i guess i put too much???? idk but my microwave just flooded#and the cheese didn't even melt#://///#blue screams into the void
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there are too many thoughts in my head and like aughhhhh /neg
#like im just sad. for. no reason but also its not like a bad sad but also it is#augh#i don't even know how to explain it#:/
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i don't know what is going on but my music taste lately changed so much compared to the last couple of years?? and the dnp album is not helping
#i don't even know how to explain it#it probably wouldn't feel that different for other people#but the vibes are so off! and yet!#why am i like this
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I have decided that my favorite kind of art is art that feels like wafers and art that would be as crunchy as a thin bar of chocolate
#please don't ask me what i mean#I don't want to explain it#i don't even know how to explain it#woahh ari's not reblogging for once
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pms is hitting me like a truck this month
#i'm sad#and i feel unloved#and getting an autism diagnosis is so hard#and i'm tired of jumping from psychologist to psychologist all the time#and my closest friends haven't talked to me and they're so busy with their other friends#and i'm not really close close to anyone at the moment and i miss having someone to talk to all the time#someone i can text about whenever and they'll do the same#having a group of friends is amazing but i miss that one on one closeness#i can't seem to get that close to anyone after so many toxic friendships have scarred me#and i blame myself for not being nice and funny and kind enough for someone to want to be close to me#sometimes i feel so apathetic about my friendships and i doubt that i even really love any of my friends#and i know i care but i keep doubting my own feelings#i don't even know how to explain it#rant#sky.txt
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christ sometimes I just wanna. steal a time machine & go back & sit down next to my 9-year-old self and just like. let them pull out their pokemon card binder & gush about their holographic gyarados or whatever. I'd just smile & ask questions about motherfukcing bulbasaur & tell my kid self that I thought they were a neat person, & someday they'd find other people who thought so too.
like i'm a grown adult who honestly finds most kids stuff boring, but. damn if i could go back & hang out with my baby self & listen to them ramble...just so they knew someone was listening. i would in a heartbeat. thinking about u kid
#wouldn't roll my eyes or check my phone or get bored or nothing#I'd just listen to that little dork & smile & encourage them & let them explain how their favorite gameboy games worked#i was the kind of kid my adult self would find annoying & uninteresting but like#most of the actual adults in my childhood felt that way too. including my dang parents.#and ya know sometimes they showed it. a lot of times without realizing it. and that messes a kid up#if you don't make an effort kids WILL recognize your disinterest and lack of attention.#kids deserve to have caregivers who show interest and engagement#even when it's over stuff that adults find boring. especially then maybe#your kid doesn't have to be fun or interesting or easy or well behaved to deserve positive attention#they deserve positive attention because they are YOUR KID#if love is unconditional then DISPLAYS of LOVE and AFFECTION must also be unconditional#not something that must be earned#telling your kid that you love them is not enough. that is step one out of like a thousand#if you just tell your kid you love them but you don't demonstrate affection and interest and patience and warmth and etcetera#your kid isn't gonna feel loved! I Love You will just become a trite phrase that they regard with mistrust!#bitch you gotta FOLLOW THROUGH
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