#I don't like how those flowers look but that's the tutorial and it's not supposed to be like super high fidelity or whatever

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Month 4, day 13

Did a lot today! Also did nothing else today lol. I have legit been at this for somewhere in the neighborhood of 6 to 8 hours. I don't remember when I started but I do remember checking the clock at around 5pm after I'd been at it for awhile, and it is now past 10:30pm. So... yeah. I had fun :D

This is the result of parts 2 and 3 of the tutorial series I'm following (I should probably link those more often). Also I made more trees from part 1 just because I could (and also I wanted the practice, but mostly because I could). I... may have been having too much fun modeling things. The second part of the tutorial was for the non-tree plants, and I did way more than the tutorial called for.

I have six trees, 11 grasses, 4 flowers, and 7 ferns (or whatever those plants are supposed to be). The tutorials only called for three trees, five grasses, four flowers, and six ferns. At least I got the number of flowers right? But, uh, I gave the flowers more colors than I was supposed to and set it up so the bundles of flowers are all different colors instead of all the same. So still did more than I should have :P

The third part of the tutorial series was setting up the environment and getting it ready to spread plants all over it. So we made the ground, the hills in the background, and the sky. The sky I'm most excited about making, because I plan to abuse my sky-making privileges when I go to make the swords finally >:D Actually pretty much everything I learned in these tutorials I'll be using in one way or another for the swords, but being able to make my own sky means I can get ~*fancy*~ with the environments I put the swords in :D

Cinta my beloved your sword is gonna be dope as fuck

[makeitmingi]

The Cat and Dog Game [Chapter 21]

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Yunho x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Chef!Reader, RestaurantOwner!Yunho, MaitreD!Hongjoong, Waiter!Yeosang, Waiter!San, Waiter!Mingi, SousChef!Seonghwa, SousChef!Wooyoung, PrepChef!Jongho

Summary: Yunho's dream was to open and run his own restaurant. But he doesn't know anything when it comes to cooking. Until you came along and accepted the job, bringing with you a small crew. How will the black cat tame the energetic golden retriever?

Word count: 3.3K

You groaned, falling back onto the bed... Well, the pile of clothes that were on your bed. You have spent the last 2 hours trying to find an outfit to wear and you were on the verge of giving up. Today, you were going to go out with Yunho. Instead of just dinner, he planned to meet and hang out before going for dinner.

But what do you wear to a date?

Both you and Yunho decided that it was best to keep this to yourselves for now, not wanting any unnecessary attention on the two of you. Well, except one person.

"You're supposed to be getting dressed. Not getting comfy on your clothing pile." Jongho clicked his tongue.

"I'm trying!" You whined, kicking your feet like a child.

"Wait, I think I know..." You found a dress. It was a flowy summer dress, white with small blue flowers all over. You went to the bathroom to change.

"What do you think?" You came out, showing Jongho the dress. He sat on the bed, drinking his coffee.

"This is the one." He nodded.

"Think so?" You stared at your reflection, twisting slightly to make the material flow around you. While you don't have a definitive style, you definitely do not usually dress this girly. The only time you do is during events or when you meet your father and stepmother.

"So let me get this straight. I'm the only one that knows about the date between you and Yunho hyung. Not even your other half, Seonghwa hyung, knows?" Jongho asked.

"Yes. Well, I'm not sure if Yunho told Mingi... But essentially, you're the only one that knows on my end." You replied.

"Why?"

"Because the more people know, the more expectations there are. And you know, Hwa is... protective of me. I'm already stressed out enough." You sighed.

"Hey. Don't worry about it, hmm? There's nothing to be stressed about." Jongho rounded the bed, holding your hand.

"It'll be okay." He rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb.

"Thanks, Jong." You smiled appreciatively and went to finish getting ready. You took a shower, styled your hair a little and put on some light make up. However, you did need to watch a few YouTube tutorials on how to do that. You wanted to look natural and not be too over the top.

"Here, I made you an omelette." Jongho said when you emerged from the room. You fixed all your jewellery on, your mother's earrings being your most prized possessions.

"How do you act on a date?" You asked as you took a bite. Jongho blinked before he burst out laughing.

"I have no idea how to answer that sort of question." He snickered before eating his own omelette. You shot him a look for laughing.

"Well, I'm asking you because you go on the most blind dates with people. How do you act then?" You jabbed right back at him, making him roll his eyes.

"Those blind dates are with strangers. You know Yunho hyung. You shouldn't have to act differently." He shrugged.

"Yeah but I know some guys feel friend-zoned if a girl acts too familiar with them." You said.

"I'm sure Yunho hyung just wants you to be you. Be comfortable around him. If any of you act awkwardly, it'll just make the entire thing awkward for the both of you. Just enjoy yourselves and each other's company." Jongho smiled.

"Do you like Yunho hyung? In that way." He added.

"I think I do? Maybe... I don't know, I'm trying to figure that out but it's hard. You know I hate addressing my emotions... It just messes me up." You groaned.

"It's okay to not be sure, (y/n). Going on dates is to find out your feelings for each other, see compatibility too." He said.

"I do really care for him. It's feelings that I've not had before and it's daunting..." You gulped.

"There's no obligation when and to be a couple at the end of it, okay? Be patient with yourself, you don't have to share everything with him right from the start. Take things at your own pace." He advised.

"Alright, I should get ready to go. He's picking me up in 10 minutes." You stood up, running to get your tote.

"I'll clear up here and lock up. Don't worry about it." He waved you off. Grinning, you went over to hug him and give him a peck on the cheek.

"Thanks, Jong. I mean it when I say, you're a lifesaver." You giggled. He hummed and patted your back, wishing you luck before you left the house. As you stood in the lift, there was a slight nervous churn in your stomach. Should you have asked Yunho for a dress code? Were you over or under dressed?

"(y/n)." Yunho was already there, waiting for you. He broke out into a big grin when he saw you, pushing off his car that he was leaning against to greet you.

"Wow, you look amazing." He said.

"Are you saying I don't usually look good?" You raised an eyebrow. His eyes widened, going into a panic.

"N-No! Of course not. What I was trying to say was that you look different but a good different! You are always pretty." He settled with that, his ears burning red.

"I'm just kidding, Yunho. Thank you." You chuckled. He lifted his head, the smile returning to his face. He was glad you weren't awkward or uncomfortable, that you could still tease him like always.

"Here, I got you this." He turned around and took something out of his car to hand to you.

"I know it seems like I always give you flowers but-"

"I love them, Yunho." You smiled, leaning in to look at the beautiful bouquet of baby pink tulips as you cradled it in your arms. For some reason, you knew you would never get tired of the warm feeling you felt when Yunho gave you flowers.

"Shall we?" He opened the door to the passenger side for you. You bowed your head and sat in the car, making sure your dress wasn't caught before he closed the door.

"So where are we going?" You asked. Yunho went quiet, pursing his lips at your question.

"What's wrong?" You tilted your head in confusion.

"I'm sorry, (y/n). I spent the whole night trying to research on where to go on a first date and the answers are all so generic like amusement park, zoo, aquarium, cafe." He apologised.

Hearing Yunho put so much dedication to this date made the churning in your stomach turn to butterflies.

"Well, I haven't been to the aquarium before." You laughed with a small shrug.

"We'll go there!" Yunho declared with a big, excited grin. He appreciated that you didn't make him feel like a fool for not knowing where to go or that he had to Google ideas for a first date. Instead, you helped him pick a place. As long as Yunho could spend time with you, he'll go anywhere.

"Aren't you going to ask me why I haven't been to the aquarium before?" You asked as he drove. Usually, that was the reaction, one of shock and disbelief.

"I'm sure you had your own reasons." He shrugged. Yunho believed that if you had wanted to tell him the reason, you would have.

"Thanks for not prying." You mumbled. This was the first time someone so respectful of your privacy.

Yunho pulled up to the parking lot of COEX aquarium and came out to open the door for you. You wondered if you should leave the bouquet behind in the car or take it with you.

"I'm worried leaving it in the warm car will cause it to wilt." You said honestly.

"Bring it with you then. We can take turns carrying it." Yunho encouraged. He was just glad you treasured the flowers so much.

"Alright." You nodded shyly and started the walk with Yunho out of the carpark to the ticketing booth. The two of you walked side by side, keeping to each other's pace. Yunho secured the tickets and gestured for you to walk through the barrier first.

"So, where to?" Yunho asked as he held up the map for the both of you to see.

"Honestly, Yunho. You can decide. I've never been here before and I trust your taste." You chuckled. Yunho laughed along and tucked the map back into his pocket.

"We'll just follow the path then." He smiled. You nodded and walked with him. Luckily, the aquarium wasn't too crowded.

"Woah." You said in awe at all the big tanks of fish.

For the first time, you were the one in childlike amazement while Yunho looked on at you fondly. He knew he was lucky to be the one to bring you for your first aquarium experience.

"This is cool." You leaned in to one of the smaller tanks to observe all the breeds of fish living together.

"There's more in front." Yunho pointed and you nodded with an excited smile.

Venturing through the aquarium, Yunho never rushed you, letting you take the lead on what you wanted to see. Honestly, Yunho just wanted to keep seeing you smile. Your excitement wasn't annoyingly loud or dynamic, instead you quietly smiled with sparkling eyes as you looked at each exhibit.

"Oh, they let you touch the starfish." You said, reading the sign at the Marine Touch Lab. Although you handle seafood and raw meat, you've never touched a starfish before.

"Do you want to?" Yunho asked. You thought about it before nodding your head slowly. Yunho took your bouquet from you.

"Don't you want to pet it too?" You turned to him.

"Go ahead, I've done it before." He chuckled, encouraging you.

"We should do it together." Suddenly, you took Yunho's freehand, surprising him. Holding his hand in yours, you pet the starfish together. Yunho's eyes focussed on you the entire time.

"The texture is weird..." You mumbled. Yunho chewed on his bottom lip, his ears burning red.

"Mmm, the water is cold." Yunho added randomly, the words not really forming in his head because of how flustered he was. He knew you probably didn't think too much about it like he did, you just wanted to pet the starfish together.

"D-Do you want to pet the other fish?" Yunho asked as the two of you pulled your hands out of the starfish tank. You looked around at the other marine life there.

"Touching those fish would be like handling them before I cook them right?" You stated.

"I don't think you should talk about cooking fish in a place like this..." Yunho burst out laughing, making you laugh as well.

"Oops, I did not notice. But practically speaking, it's the circle of life. I'm sure those carnivorous fish each the other small fish too." You shrugged. Yunh nodded in agreement.

"Let's wash our hands and continue." He said. Like the gentleman he was, he let you use the sink first.

"Ocean kingdom." You read out as you entered.

"People like to sit here and watch the sharks." Yunho informed. You nodded and found an empty spot to sit with him for a while. He removed his jacket, draping it over your legs since you were wearing a dress. Because of how empty it was, it was nice and peaceful. Yunho was still casting secret glances at you.

"You can lean on me... If you'd like." He added that last part hastily, not wanting to make you uncomfortable or creep you out. But even if you did feel that way, you never expressed it.

"It's surprisingly peaceful watching the sharks swim." You said, leaning your head on his shoulder.

"Hmm, they're misunderstood. They aren't the killing machines people make them out to be. Only when bothered or disturbed."

"I agree." He felt you nod in agreement. Yunho relaxed slightly, he liked this moment with you. The awkwardness was finally gone and you could both be comfortable.

"I'm really enjoying myself, Yunho." You said softly.

"I-I'm glad." Yunho replied, resting his head softly against your own as his cheeks heated up.

After sitting for a while more, you moved on to the marine mammal village because there was a little food stall selling snacks for people to buy. While Yunho stood in line, you went to find a seat to sit down. You were texting Seonghwa since he was looking for you.

'You'll be gone the whole day? - Seonghwa'

'Yeah, just getting some air then going for dinner. I think I just need some time to clear my head and I'll be okay. I'll see you tomorrow morning? - (y/n)'

'Alright, sweetheart. I'll come pick you. Stay safe and let me know when you get home, please? - Seonghwa'

'I will. - (y/n)'

Realising Yunho still wasn't here, you looked up to see him wandering around. He held the tray, looking around for you like a lost, confused puppy. It was really so adorable, you want to take a picture.

"Yunho." You stood up slightly, raising your hand.

"Oh!" Yunho perked up, a happy yet relieved smile appearing on his face as he came over to you.

"I contemplated just sitting here, watching you go around looking for me." You chuckled. He pouted at your words, placing the tray down before sitting. You giggled at his reaction, he really reminded you of a golden retriever. You split the drinks, you ordered a sprite so you assumed the coke was his.

"I didn't know which corndog you wanted. There's a potato and a plain one with sugar. Take the one you want and I'll eat the other one. Or we can split it? Half each." Yunho said.

"Let's split it." You smiled, taking a fork and eating some of the fries. Even if you were sharing, Yunho still let you take one first.

"Cheers." Yunho grinned, holding out his corndog. You gently knocked the corndogs together before taking a bite.

"Ooh, it's hot." He huffed, taking a sip of his drink to cool his mouth down. You dipped your corndog in mustard and ketchup. Once you were both halfway done, you swapped.

You didn't mind sharing food with Yunho, you've eaten off the same plate and probably shared drinks while working. It didn't bother you at all.

"You have sauce here." You took a napkin and wiped the corner of his lip for him.

"Thank you." He smiled shyly. Just like before, you and Yunho shared some small conversations, nothing too serious but it was fun and comfortable. When the food was done, you split to wash your hands and use the restrooms before continuing.

"I didn't know they have manatees here. They're so cute." You said with a giggle, standing close to the glass as a manatee swam by. You place a hand on the glass, as if petting them.

"You like manatees?" Yunho asked.

"Well, not my favourite animal but they're just cute big blobs that float around water. What's not to like?" You chuckled.

"True. They're apparently really nice and gentle. Even with humans, they're fearless in interaction. Don't have it in them to be mean to predators." Yunho said.

"Like you?" You mocked.

"I-I can be mean!" Yunho argued. But he would never be mean to you, not intentionally of course. He was still human, he could still get annoyed and angry. He bickers with Mingi and Gunho all the time.

"Sure~" You sang and reached up to pat his head. Almost instinctively now, Yunho leaned down so you could reach him. The two of you walked into the famous underwater tunnel. You stood there, eyes following the big manta rays that swam over your head. Yunho couldn't take his eyes off you.

*click*

Yunho's eyes widened when he realised how loud his phone's camera shutter was. You turned your head, catching him red handed with his phone held up.

"Come." You waved him over, pulling him down slightly so you could stand together, your faces at a more equal height.

"1, 2, 3." Yunho counted down before taking the photo. He stared at it for a few seconds. He liked it.

"Excuse me, could you take a photo for us, please?" Yunho asked one of the staffs passing by. He wanted some of you and him standing together. He handed his phone over to her.

"Alright, look here!" She said. Yunho held his arm out for you to take and you slowly held his arm, posing for the photos.

"You're too tall." You looked up at him as you giggled.

"Maybe you're just too short." He looked back down at you. When the photos were done, you and Yunho bowed gratefully to the lady. Yunho scrolled through the photos. He didn't know the staff caught the moment you and Yunho were looking at each other.

"I like that one..." You said, peering over his shoulder as he scrolled.

"Me too." Yunho smiled.

"Send it to me?" You requested. He nodded and sent all the photos to you. You scrolled through the photos on your own, a soft smile appearing on your face.

"Let's go." Yunho and you continued the rest of the aquarium path. The last attraction on the path was the penguin exhibit.

"That's cute." Yunho pointed to draw your attention to the baby penguin standing on his parent's feet.

"When I used to train at a restaurant in Tasmania in Australia, there was a penguin islet. There were penguins there, living on the beach." You smiled fondly at the memory.

"I didn't know penguins can live in warm weather." Yunho said.

"I guess they're different species of it. The ones in Australia look very different from these ones." You shrugged.

You and Yunho took another photo together in front of the penguin exhibit. Right in front of the exit, there was a gift shop. The two of you browsed together, looking at all the cute souvenirs there. You held a matching penguin keychains. Was it too fast for you to want this with Yunho? This was only a first date.

"Yunho?" You left the keychains, realising that Yunho had momentarily stepped away from your side. You found him just as he was exiting the cashier.

"What did you get?" You asked.

"It's for you." He smiled, holding the bag out. You blinked in surprise and received it. Opening the bag, you picked up the small plush.

"A manatee plush? It's adorable." You laughed, holding the plush to your chest.

"Yunho, you've been paying for everything so far. And I know you're going to insist on paying for dinner later. Please at least let me pay my share of the entrance tickets?" You asked.

"It's alright, (y/n). I just want your first time to the aquarium to be special. As long as you're happy and had a great time, it's all worth it." He smiled.

"I did have a great time. And I'll repay you somehow." You poked his chest.

"You fed me and still continue to feed me. That's more than enough repayment." He laughed. You did really have a great time. Although, you knew a big part of the reason why you had a great time because you spent it with Yunho.

"Shall we go?" Yunho made the first move first, boldly holding his hand out to you. You stared at his hand for a few seconds before slipping your hand into his.

"Let's go." You smiled.

You were glad he didn't think all this was 'too fast' because you didn't know how you should be acting. This was all new to you.

But if this wasn't too fast for Yunho, then there was nothing for you to be afraid of.

~

Series masterlist

[adr-n-sketchy]

I caught you burning photographs Like that could save you from your past History is like gravity It holds you down away from me

I saw @muzarry’s Huntlow Wedding Waltz art challenge and I wanted a piece of the action. I hope this wasn’t too far off from the initial prompt of a ballroom waltz but I imagined them having and outdoor cottagecore-esc celebration.

Some of my reference materials are below the cut along with me rambling way too much about what I’m nitpicking about the piece now that it's posted and all my mistakes are glaringly obvious (ah the power of publishing your art).

Thanks again for the fun prompt!! I already have ideas of how I’d like to redo this bc they’re just so fun to draw

Materials/references - Willow’s dress was a combination of many many Pinterest searches of embroidered flowers and about three dress ideas smushed together

First things first how obvious is it that I hate drawing shoes? Lol if I’d planned this better, I probably would’ve just cropped the pose around their calves but then I was too far in to fix it.

This piece was really fun!! I’ve been on the procreate tutorial side of tiktok while I’m still figuring it out and I actually got to try out some lighting tips on this. Idk if I did them right but it was fun to try. I fish I'd gotten the colors a little warmer like the initial prompt image. Also still figuring out different shading techniques and styles I like. I'd like to title this piece's strategy "slap on a shading layer and then smudge the shit out of it until you get something passable."

I definitely did not draw enough flowers as a child and was running out of ways to draw leaves and petals lol. Phew that dress was a slog, but also so so fun. I have a little headcanon that it was embroidered by Darius and Camila. I've never illustrated any sheer fabrics, so this was me BSing myself throughout the entire thing, but I can't say I'm mad at the response. Clothing folds are still a headache for me, but somehow this is, better?

Also, Willow’s flower crown is made up of the red grass and flowers that Willow first greets when they get back to the demon realm — y’know, the adorable gesture that squeezes the first smile out of Hunter post Flapjack. Also, Flapjack-red tie for Hunter because obvi.

I'm afraid I made Hunter's outfit a little too close to Caleb's, but from the references of outfits and background, we ended here. So maybe his ability to wear things this close is proof of therapy and progress? y'know, if you squint past my blatant art and fashion block. I also just realized I think I was supposed to color the buttons on Hunter's vest but now I'm pretending that was purposeful

Another thing I'm weirdly nitpicky about it Hunter's hair noodle. Idk there's been something that's bothered me about it throughout the entire process but could never quite put my finger on it/fix it.

I had the idea that Willow and Hunter's rings would look like elongated versions of each other's palismen. Kind of like those little dragon rings that look like they're clinging to your finger, but I couldn't get the shape right, and Willow's ring isn't visible anyway. So maybe next time.

That may be it. Might add more as I find more and more things that annoy me. If you made it to the end of my perfectionist rambling, congratulations!! Your service and sacrifice is noted lol.

Don't forget to hydrate yourselves and have a lovely day!!

[hoontsart]

I haven't drawn anything since I was a little kid and stopped drawing because I was bad at it. I am far worse than every sample of "I started out here, look where I am now!" I've seen. As near as I can tell I could learn how to draw if I invested an hour or two a day for a year, but whenever I do an exercise I am overwhelmed with self-hatred and have to stop within minutes. I don't think I can endure this for a week, let alone a year.

Are there any paths where I can at least learn something relatively quickly? I know that anything good takes time and I'm probably a horrible person for wanting skill to come quickly, but I think if I can see some progress, create something which at least looks something like what it's supposed to look like, I'll be more willing to put in effort to get better.

There are a lot of different paths you can take to help improve your drawing skills quickly, some more difficult than others. However, getting frustrated and overwhelmed is a big obstacle to learning that has to be overcome first.

I think the first thing you should do is find something art related that's fun. Coloring books, paint by number, any sort of little craft thing that you don't have to think very hard about and you just get to make. Hell, even something like those super simple "how to draw [animal]" step by step guides for little kids. You could also just do little doodles, like drawing circles and turning them into silly cat faces or frogs or flowers. Meditation drawing is also an option.

My suggestion would be to take that invested hour per day and spend half of it trying to follow some kind of art course like Draw-a-Box, doing figure studies like on Line of Action, or tutorials on one subject at a time, like drawing just eyes or just hands, etc. Then, after that half hour, or sooner if you start to feel frustrated, switch to your fun craft and just enjoy the process of coloring or doodling something. 50% Study, 50% Play. I think the Draw-a-Box lessons will suggest the same thing.

The most important thing when it comes to art isn't being good at it, it's enjoying the process so you not only want to learn more, but strive for the challenge of improving. It's never going to be perfect at the start, but that doesn't matter if you're having fun.

[marindram]

full transcription of Marin's blog from Omega Mart!

huge thanks to @b0chelly for recording a scroll-through, which i typed this out from. (and warning for Omega Mart lore/story spoilers. second half is in reblog)

Marinknows.best

Location: Seven Monolith Village

Last Login: 12/31/2019

Profile Views: 101,275

About me: I love listening to music and glitter

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June 26, 2018

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee!

So 14 feels way different than 13. For real. I think it's because I was expecting 13 to feel different, but sometimes when you expect something it turns out the opposite ya know?

Plus, 13 is like, "I'm new to being a teenager!!"

14 is more like, "I'm becoming the person I want to be." At least that's how I want it to be. I wanted to start this blog as a record of all that.

I should ask Did you guys feel the same way when you turned 13 and 14?

But probably nobody's gonna read this because I'm just a weirdo in the weird dessert. I mean, I know my best friend Jesse is reading this (hi Jesse). Besides her, crickets.

But yeah, if you are reading this and you don't know me - I live in Seven Monolith Village, a teensy tiny town that you've only heard of if you're into aliens or homesteading. And I'm literally stuck. As in, I'm physically unable to leave. My first memories are of all the adults in my life (Charlie, my great-uncle/father-figure - Rose, my what? Roommate? Mother-figure? Pseudo-aunt? All of the above? and my mom, Cecelia. who doesn't live here) telling me that for some reason, there's something wrong with me that makes it so I can't leave a certain radius of where we live. I got older and thought that they were just exaggerating to keep me safe, but then last year I tried. And it was, let's just say not good.

Anyway. That part of my life sucks, but not everything sucks. This year is all about Marin Dram 2.0. Not new, but definitely improved.

And maybe someday, somehow somebody will read this and care about what I have to say. Somebodies, even. Until then, this is Marin Dram signing off and sending my lame contemplations into the void!

July 1, 2018

Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 20 (and some of these will never happen like are literally unable to happen but JUST LET ME DREAM

1. Kiss someone (who???)

2. Meet HTB (kiss him) (jk he would never) (plus meeting him would be enough)

3. Go to Paris

4. Go to Rome (or somewhere cooler in Italy, look up where is the best pasta???)

5. Go to Greenland (why not???)

6. Go to New York City

7. Go to LA (with a dream and my cardigan lol)

8. Go to the Grand Canyon (this isn't mine, but 9, Jesse is sitting right here and she went to the GC when we were 12 and she's like blah blah blah it's my favorite place in the world and you'll love it. I'm doing this so she'll shut up.

9. Live in a normal house with normal rooms → ideally 12 of them: living room AND TV room, kitchen, dining room, 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, study/library.

-plus an upstairs downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I got my own

-plus an upstairs/downstairs

-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I get my own room with an actual door. Very into doors.

10. Go to a mall (Jesse says there's a bunch of bonkers ones in Vegas)

11. Make friends who aren't Jesse (no offense, Jesse)

12. Get Cecelia (my "mom") to teach me about business stuff so I can open my own cool coffeeshop/bookstore someday

13. Learn to drive (ask Charlie to teach me, he's obsessed with his truck) (Jesse says she can teach me because she's Little Miss Mechanic and thinks she knows everything about cars but news flash Jesse: you're you get than me)

14. Figure out my signature style- like I want people to send me pictures of things and be like "this just screamed Marin" and for that to be true

15. Liquid eyeliner??

16. I'm stopping here because I just read over all this and want to die/cry because easily 3/4 of these are literally impossible?

17. Kill me

18. Bye

19. Lololol Charlie just came in and I was complaining about this, not being able to leave and stuff, etc and he said that I should visit new places by... reading books?? And I mean I like to read. But dude. That's the dumbest thing I've ever head.

July 30, 2018

Okay so this is what I want my life to look like:

I want a pink room. Not just pink... P I N K. Cool pink wallpaper (floral? jacquard??), pink carpet, lots of pink flowers everywhere, a four-poster bed with a pink silk canopy, lots of cool pink throw pillows. Like, so pink that

people think I'm being sarcastic! Oh, and BOOKS. Floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and some of the shelves have, like, STUFF on them that isn't books, like gifts people gave me, or things I've collected on my JOURNEYS. You know, normal stuff that people who live on normal places and do normal things have.

If I lived in in this room, it'd be in awhite three-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac (did you know "culs-de-sac" is the plural? Not "cul-de-sacs"? crazy) and I'd wear very classic girly clothes and my hair would always do what I wanted it to. It'd be one of those towns that people call small, but it's actually a city. just one with a kinda small, cozy feeling. Somewhere that gets cold enough to wear cute jackets but not so cold I have to to like, shovel my driveway. Not a non-place with like 100 people where you can't even go outside without going crazy.

August 2nd, 2018

I guess I should explain where I live, for all my avid fans out there! (lol) (hello??)

So like... I don't live on Earth. At least, not the Earth you think of when you think of EARTH. I live in some some weird off-brand version of Earth called the Forked Earth where there are aliens and magic wells of magic energy and everything is MAGIC but like the crappy kind of magic, where the sun never fully rises and some goo called "runoff" has made everything wacky and oh yeah, my mom is responsible for that and everyone here hates her!! LOL

Also, I can't leave! Like, literally can't! Rose says I'm a "special child of Source" and that's why but that LITERALLY explains tells me nothing, in fact it just raises further questions that no one can seem to answer! AHHHHHHHHHH

Anyway, the last time I tried to leave I felt. When I try to leave I feel like I'm being pulled back by something, like you know those old cartoons where someone's on stage doing something dumb and then someone offstage pulls them away with a giant shepard's crook? It felt like that, and when I opened my eyes I was back in 7 Monolith Village. UGH.

I know this sounds crazy!!!!! But believe me when I say that I am the least crazy person here. Also, """here""" is C R A Z Y. Runoff has made everything the bad kind of psychedelic and then people here actually DRINK IT! Not only do I not DRINK THE STUFF THAT HAS MADE THE WORLD INSANE, I also do not talk to aliens (or whatever Nula are) like Rose or believe crazy conspiracy theories like Charlie, so I believe that qualifies me as the most normal person in the Forked Earth, thank you for this honor, I accept this award with humility and grace!

September 4, 2018

I had the weirdest dream last night?? I was swimming in a pool full of cereal, and when I came up for air, my mom was pouring milk on my head like she was rinsing my hair. She had her hand over my face like I was a little kid and she was shielding me from soap getting in my eyes.

Anyway I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I went to bed hungry and I need to take a shower? Lol

October 16, 2018

I was trying to hide this entry from Jesse, but JESSE IS A NOSY PERSON. She says that blogs are for readers, and if I wanted something to be private then I should "Just write in a fucking notebook and hide it under your bed like a normal person, Marin." I'm allowed to have secrets!! Anyway, I'm making her a freaking playlist, that's why I wouldn't tell her what I was writing about. but EVEN STILL! I'm allowed to have secrets!! But I have this blog because I wanna get my feelings out, I wanna see everything in my head typed out all nice in a way that doesn't make it look insane. You know? I don't know who I'm asking.) Because, it's not like I go to a normal school or have a normal life where I'm surrounded by normal people I can talk to. No one knows about me! I'm trapped in this crazy place and This blog is my only outlet to the world outside. I KNOW that's heavy but it's true! The point is: Jesse's birthday is coming up. The central consistent thing in pretty much my whole life is sharing headphones with her and listening to music. The soundtrack to my entire existence is her. I wish I had money and could buy her the best presents of all time, but I can make her the best playlist of all time. I want it to be so good it feels like magic. I want her to think I'm magic. I had another dream the other night. I don't remember much, just glitter. I must be crafting too much. Or looking at festival makeup tutorials. Or both.

November 12, 2018

WARNING- Weird thoughts ahead, lol.

I can never tell which feelings are normal, and which are me being a giant weirdo. But for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling like every part of my body that's possible to have a ribbon tied around it, has a ribbon tied around it. It's so weird. I can't see the other end of the ribbons - how far they go. where they're attached, nothing. And sometimes it's fine, because sometimes I can hardly feel them. I can forget about them for days at a time, weeks, months if I'm lucky. But then other times I can feel them like, pulling at me. It's freaking spooky, to have something pulling at you from somewhere you can't see. I can't tell if it's pulling me toward whatever it is? Or if it's trying to warn me? Or if I'm just insane??

Does that make sense? Does anybody else feel that way? (she asks into the void)

So idk I guess this ribbons-feeling is why I'm really careful all the time. Like I'm just a careful person. Charlie tried to give me a hard time about it, and I can't be like "I don't wanna pull back in the ribbons too hard without realizing it and wreck something!" because he'd be like "WTF Marin, do we need to get you help?" But also, more and more, I want to be the opposite of careful. I want to take a pair of comically oversized scissors and cut the ribbons into so many pieces that nobody can even tell what they are any more.

I don't know why I'm such a freak, only that I am. I don't know why I can't leave 7 Monolith, only that I can't. But there must be a reason, even if I can't see it, and I feel like it makes sense that the ribbons-feeling is part of that reason, right?

There's just a lot.

January 15, 2019

Happy new year! Lol I forgot to write on the actual first day of 2019, but OH WELL!

I got this new glitter nail polish, thanks to the monthly makeup subscription box my "mom" sends me as an outlet for her abandonment guilt. It has like, every color glitter imaginable without quite reading as "rainbow" which is fine just not really what I was in the mood for and it's vaguely halographic and shifts into all these different colors depending on the light. I'm obsessed. Anyway.

I was putting on another layer because I chipped it like 20 minutes into wearing it, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I recognized the glitter? Like I felt this thing way deep in my gut and for a minute I couldn't breathe. It's the closest thing I've felt to how books and movies make Christmas look. Like I was home, with family, cookies and cider and all that stuff. Familiar and safe. I almost didn't recognize that feeling. And it came from the nail polish. How weird is that.

I mean, I don't want to make it sound like I've had this awful Charles Dickens childhood - Rose and Charlie are the best ever and always there for me and I love them a lot. But things never feel like...home. You know?

My mom always says this cryptic stuff about how I'm "special" and I wanna strangle her because I'm not, but you try getting my mom to stop doing anything she wants to do. Rose told me once that one day, I would "lead the charge into a new era of existence and access" because I'm "of the Source" and I was like uhhhh okay?? Charlie mostly treats me pretty normal, except when I ask him questions about our family. my mom or any Dram. He knows that I want to know more about them and he's my only real entrypoint, but apparently he's like the black sheep of that whole family. He and my mom were close way back right before I was born, but now whenever she comes to visit he barely even looks at her.

So that's to say: nobody tells me anything, ever.

January 16, 2019

Okay this is so weird. I wrote that entry yesterday about glitter and then last night I dreamed about glitter. Then I woke up with purple glitter in my bed?? Like not a lot, so at first I thought it was from my nail polish, but it was just a handful of purely purple glitter that looks nothing like my nail polish. SO WEIRD!!!!!!

February 14, 2019

Rose has an old book full of "ye olde" style fairy tales, and I flipped through it for the first time in forever today.

Not so weirdly, I've always been drawn to the story of Rapunzel.

Rapunzel couldn't leave the tower, or else she'd break her neck and die.

Same.

February 19, 2019

I was reading this article the other day in one of the teen magazines my "mom" gets me a subscription to and it was all about body positivity, which is great, but it was basically just like "wear a crop top if you wannna wear a crop top! it doesn't matter what size you are! You go, girl!" And like, sure. Yes. I am all for that. But doesn't it seem like there are some steps missing in there? Like, I can physically put on a crop top and wear it outside. But how do I convince myself that everybody isn't looking at me and making fun of me in their minds? How do I unlearn the last almost-fifteen years? How do I get actually positive about my body, not just put on a crop top and fight the urge to cry all day?

It's the same thing like when my mom sends me brochures from the CEO camp she ten when she was my age (her dad started the camp for her, which is an insane thing just by itself, but she did all the work, which is even more insane) and she's like "Marin, you lack direction for your life" and I'm like, cool mom. Yeah. I can see that. What I can't see is how to get there from here.

March 2, 2019

This is what I want my life to look like, volume 2:

The walls of my room are covered in Polaroids of me and my friends. There are lots of mirrors in all kinds of shapes. hearts and moons and stars. There's a record player and a lot of vintage records by Billie Holiday and Lena Horne and Peggy Lee and Nina Simone. And Christmas lights! Everywhere! Lots of of pink and purple Christmas lights everywhere.

If I lived in this room, I'd have so many friends and be part of so many clubs. My best friend would have a collection of vintage cameras, and every place we go to that has a photo booth, we'd get photos taken. Every time I'd look at myself in one of those mirrors, I'd feel happy at what I see and never weird or sad. (Jesse hates taking pictures, so even when I actually do normal stuff with her there's no evidence. What even is a life supposed to be without evidence? That's not an actual question you need to answer Jesse, it's just a question)

Anyway, if I lived in this kind of room, my mom would probably be like, an art history professor at a liberal arts college. That's how come everything looks so cool, because I would know stuff about art. My mom and I would love to try new recipes together. We get each other new cookbooks for every special occasion, and right now we're working out way through a Moroccan one. Moroccan Mondays.

In actuality, there's a dust storm happening outside and my eyes sting.

March 9, 2019

Here's what I'm obsessed with lately.

Can. You. EVEN???

February 3, 2020

Omg I totally forgot this blog existed!!

I lost the password and instead of just resetting it I got in one of my super stubborn moods (Taurus moon lol) and just kept putting in guesses and jokes on me, it locked me out. Anyway, that's a boring story.

But my friend Ximena is really good at hacking and stuff, so she got me back in. Yeah you read that right - I have friends. Obviously a lot has happened since my last post. Ximena moved out here a couple months ago (X's family used to live here but they moved away a while ago) and she introduced me to Lora who I sorta-not-really already knew, and Jesse and I have been hanging out with them a ton. Jesse kind of more than me. Which is fine!!

Anyway I'm 15 now? If I lived somewhere normal I'd be psyched about almost being 16, because I'd get a car and have a Sweet Sixteen and eat a huge PINK cake, but I don't!

February 16, 2020

I read this fanfic the other night that was written in the second person so everything was like "you." "you're doing this" etc you know?

So... You go to a drive-in movie with Heartthrob Boy, and he spills soda on you by accident. And you take off your shirt ( you have a tank top on, don't worry) to clean it up, bit you're still all sticky and self-conscious about being sticky and HTB like... used his tongue to get it off??? AAHHHHH I'M DISGUSTING

but also I wonder if a boy will ever touch any part of me with his tongue

March 2, 2020

Hi I don't know if you heard but I have friends :)))

March 15, 2020

I think I'm so into painting my nails and doing my hair because those are things that always fit. I don't have to worry about places not carrying about a size 8, or places that carry XLs but when you read the measurements they're actually size 8s too and it's like jesus if that's an XL what am I

My "mom" was confused why I needed new pants because mine still look new, but I showed her the thigh holes and she was like "that's a weird place for a hole, how did that happen" and I realized that when your legs are a certain size, you just don't know about thigh rub and what it does to clothes. Pants could just last for years.

No matter what, I can paint my nails with a different color nail polish on every finger, and I can always do a braid crown. And I know I'm cute as hell, etc, so this is not a Marin Needs to Learn to Love Herself thing. It's just an UGH thing

April 17, 2020

So Rose does all these Source experiments on plants and flowers and stuff. Tbh, it's just one if those things I hardly even register anymore because it's just always there. She's explained to me a million times what Source is/does/means, but the way Rose explains things sometimes is just a LOT to take in and she refers to me as a "child of Source" but I kinda figure that's like "child of God" right? What else would that mean?

But anyway, it's really annoying because dried flowers are a part of my new aesthetic and I pinned a bunch of them up on my wall but I woke up this morning to a freaking jungle of very alive flowers. I freaked out. on Rose, and she Rose said she didn't do it and I was like WELL THEN WHO DID and she said that I did??

Which like. Obviously that doesn't make sense. I asked her what she meant and She just shook her head and said " It's happening. We should have known" which is some horror movie shit that she refused to elaborate on. I love to feel safe and normal!!

Or maybe it's not a horror movie at all. But maybe it's a superhero movie? Maybe there's some kind of origin story I don't know about yet, and all of this will be worth it once I figure out my powers. I wonder what my costume will look like. Lol.

April 23, 2020

Is it possible to die from longing? I know that sounds melodramatic, but I'm also kinda serious?? Because it seems like one of those things that could fester and get infected and kill you. It's like when you fall down and bang up your knee, and you need to put a band-aid on the scrape for a while, but THEN you need to air it out - but how do you know when you're supposed to do each one of those things? And if you do either one too much, your knee gets infected. What if I smother my heart with band-aids for too long and it gets infected? This isn't about anybody. I just keep having these dreams about someone I never expected to have dreams about and they're so intense that they keep leaking into my life and I wonder if I need to do something about them.

May 2, 2020

So Jesse's gotten really into metal music, and I tried to get her to play me something since, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED, that's what we've literally ALWAYS DONE with music and each other, and she kinda looked at Ximena out of the corner of her eye and said like "I don't think it's really your thing" And it was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me.

So later I looked up Zenion, the band she was talking about, and I listened to every single fucking song they've ever recorded turned up as loud as it could go with my own headphones that are better than hers anyway, and I loved it. And I didn't love it just because she said I wouldn't. I loved it because it was loud and weird and wild and when I listened to it it made me feel like it's not crazy when so feel stuff so hard it's like my heart's gonna vibrate out of my body. And I would have told Jesse all this and we could have shared it, but I guess she thinks just because I like HTB and glitter and stuff, I don't have the capacity for anything else.

She clearly doesn't know me at all. So much for any kind of whatever, why would she ever want to kiss someone she clearly sees as like a stupid baby.

May 7, 2020

The dreams are getting weirder and they're happening more. I'm getting scared to go to sleep. Not that the dreams are always scary (they almost never are, or not scary like in a typically scary horror movie way). I mean, I've only ever been me. I don't know what other peoples' dreams are like.

The other night in one I was jumping on a trampoline, which is something I've never done in real life. I told Rose about it when I woke up, and she said "do you even know how to jump on a trampoline?" and I said "Rose, it's not like riding a bike. You don't have to learn. You just jump." and then we got into this whole thing about how some things we just know, and jumping's one of them, and how that's so weird. Sometimes I really like talking to Rose about stuff.

May 19, 2020

So, it's prom season in the real world. If I lived somewhere normal, my prom dress would be pink with lots of tulle and silk flowers at the shoulders, and it would fit perfectly and trying in dresses would be fun and not anxiety-inducing.

But since there are only like 10 teenagers currently in 7MV, were not having a homecoming. Cool.

May 27, 2020

So, mom came to visit this weekend, and I asked her about her prom. She was Typical Cecelia at first, very "Prom is a waste of time and money, Marin. It's a night when lesser people play dress-up to engage with their aspirations of grandeur." And I was like eyeroll forever and just stopped talking. BUT THEN she actually talked to me like a human being. She was like, "I actually didn't go to my prom" and when I asked her why she said that she didn't have a date, and was very self-conscious about it. I almost passed out at her admitting that she's ever been anything less than perfect.

(gonna continue this in reblog)

[the-satellite]

Hello friends and welcome to ☆Hateful Nostalgia☆. I was exposed to the mob talker mod WAY too young bc I was an unsupervised child on the internet watching mod showcases and SkyDoesMinecraft. Looking back these sucked, the stories were often bland and the designs were milk toast at best and tits out at worst. So for the sake of procrastinating on working on anything substantial I grabbed the main 6 I remembered and gussied em up. Redesigns, rewrites, better names, all that bullshit. If your interested in better photos, design notes, story details and rambling hit the basement, otherwise here's a line up you should click for better quality.

Also I wrote all this once before already but I deleted it like a dumb bitch. On the night Unus Annus was murdered in front of my eyes no less. Was a rough fuckin night.

The Creeper- Kupa. An explosive pyromaniac with a habit of making empty threats and yelling. She protects what she believes to be her territory with a suicidal passion, but if you manage to get her to cool down and soften up she's pretty sick to hand out with. Hard of hearing, has at least one bout of head trauma at all times, and deathly allergic to cats.

Because the creeper is kinda the og I wanted to reference AT2's design more than the others, but I'm p sure the only thing I actually kept was the red hair and brown gloves. Otherwise I was doing whatever. I really wanted to lean into the explody bit of creepers, so I gave her some bite and dressed her in clothes referenced from Irish railroad workers. This may also be why I keep imaging her with a very heavy Irish or Scottish accent, whichever would be most incomprehensible when angry. Every color but her skin was color picked from one of the references, with some minor alterations for makes my eyes happy reasons.

With Kupa I imagine a story line with her would largely be about her as a character and her development than like an actual adventure narrative like everyone else. She starts off ready to blow up both you and herself in a misguided attempt to defend what she sees as her's and opens up and learns not everyone is out to get her. Lots of time taken to understand her childhood and how she ended up how she is. Very simple, probably the default or tutorial run people would go through.

The Zombie- Bee. The ill husk of a missing explorer suffering from a less than conventional appetite. She wallows in her self imposed loneliness, believing herself to be an irredeemable monster doomed to hurt those around her. What she really needs is a buddy and some clue to who she used to be. Rough voiced, chronically fatigued, and prone to spontaneous combustion in sunlight.

 I definitely consider this one the weakest for design sadly. I imagined Zombies as humans who went into strange caves and caverns and didn't come out for years, only to pop up as completely different people. I just tossed AT2's design. The first thing I did was make her a bit of a genderbent Steve and tinted her green bc Zombies in game are just Steve but green. Tore up her clothes, colored picked the darkest colors I could from the clothes on the in game and boom, Bee. I do vaguely regret not making her eyes pure black but I also still wanted her to be human enough to fit with the other overworld mods.

 Ok so Bee actually has a basic story. When you meet her she's aggressive, but as a warning. She fears the possibility she may hurt somebody so heads for threats immediately. Going back and forth between her cave and village for a while you learn more about the situation with the missing folks who come back and Bee as a person. After a bit you pick her up off her depressed ass and start a nocturnal adventure of refinding your past, adapting to who your becoming, overcoming self destuction, and slow burn babey!!! 

The Skeleton- Ulna. One of the few surviving warriors of a now destroyed kingdom and dead culture. She spends most of her time now traveling alone, hiding in trees and shooting anything see sees as a threat- which is everything- in the face with homemade arrows. Very much suffering from loss of her home and a bad case of lost purpose. A woman of few words, very antisocial, and naturally nocturnal.

 I came in with the Skeleton wanting to make her seem mysterious, so my first thought was immediately a cloak and a mask, but I wanted her face to like be visible so I went with the face paint. I didn't actually know that I wanted to do under there so I went with wraps that are reminiscent of the original outfit but still not tits out bc it's so fucking easy! Gave her a quiver, color picked the cloak and face paint from the in game model and the wraps from AT2'S art. I did like. Subconsciously draw her eyes the way I do Asian characters but I didn't have anything specific in mind so like go nuts with what you think she is.

 Ulna's deal is very much her lack of purpose or home and the entire thing is about finding that again. She's found sitting up in a tree during a storm pointing a bow and arrow into your face. She eventually let's you stick around until the storm is over and theres some bonding into deep night until the rain stops. You ask if she wants to come with on your little travelling sword for hire business, she says sure, sleep schedule shenanigans, backstory angst, and road trip bonding happens and she eventually decides that helping people is her new purpose and you're her new home

The Spider- Park. A young adult experiencing the world for the first time through her tribe's rite of passage. She's really just trying to figure out how to live life outside of the cave she's been stuck in her entire life and aggressively trying to be an independent adult despite not knowing anything about being an independent adult. Its projection. Blind in the daylight, naive and excitable, and taken to refusing help at her own risk.

 Ok so. I don't know who looked at the spider and said "purple haired loli with puffy pants" so I once again yeeted the whole thing, only really keeping the kinda cutesy and childish bits. Spiders are a tribe of humans what live in caves unless they've broken off to live on the surface. Kids are kept inside until they hit a certain milestone, where they come up to explore at night. They're usually small and pale, but are pretty kickass when necessary. Again picked the colors off the in game model, played with the lightest gray for the skin, and bc I couldn't figure out anyway to use the stripes so they're on the patches lol.

 Park's meeting is probably the funniest and most meet cute one here, in that she accidentally drops on top of you from a little cliff drop off. Cue loads of apologies and an explanation about the spider deal and being blind in light. She asks for some help getting around and bam babey friendship and emotional attachment! What follows is kinda a buddy of coming of age story with the obligatory goes home and is miserable scene. Generally it's just about being a scared young adult and having someone to fall back on and why that's important. Also crushes and young people being bad at that.

 The Blaze- Amber. A demonic entity who would let the world burn and the sun die if it meant she'd get her soul back. She's known for being ruthless, taking souls through force instead of making deals like other Blazes. Keeps this forceful nature even once she's become friendly, makes you do dump shit. Territorial, eyes glow and dim with her life, and runs remarkably warm.

 Amber here is the first one I actually did! I was just. Really tired that she was in a bikini. I decided early on I wanted overworld mobs to be human and everyone else was decidedly not, so Blazes are demons who gave up their souls under false pretenses to other Blazes. Because of how little clothes AT2's design wore I had essentially free reign and my thought was immediately to lean on golden knight bc of how Blazes are found protecting fortresses. The gold isn't picked from anything bc I was looser with the colors, but everything else is, and the hair is supposed to represent the smoke. Also the sticks in her hair are blaze rods bc I don't like them just floating around her.

Amber is found in the Nether obviously, protecting a fortress and immediately trying beat your ass and either incinerate you or make you give up your soul. During you prove yourself a p damn good fighter and she makes a deal to show you how Blazes exist and pursade you to give your soul up willingly. Bonding happens and she explains where the souls go and what happened to her. Insert line about how she dug in the sand for her soul until her fingers bleed bc I'm an Arcana freak lol. In general I'd just like her to learn to adapt to who she is now and learning to live life well instead of letting her anger burn her up from the inside out.

 The Enderman- Violet. A confused but sweet young bit of void created by and connected to the Ender Dragon. Her relationship with reality is tenuous at best and abusive at worst, making stable existence rather difficult. She doesn't know a name, age, gender, anything about herself aside from that she likes sweaters. Communicates primarily through psychic connections, docile and sweet, and melts like a witch in water.

 Violet was incredibly easy, so this may be way short. Endermen are decidedly human shaped void from the End with varying sentience. They're direct extensions of the Ender Dragon, and nobody knows how they're made or where they come from, not even they do. Adventurers who escaped The End say they seem scared of it though. Violet in particular is pretty damn new and extraordinary nonconforming, and I tried to show that with her sweater and ponytail. Once again, literally all colors picked. Definitely the simplest but one of my favs.

Violet is the sweetest meet up I think. As your traveling between villages you notice a strange enderman watching you and plant a little flower in front of her. She picks it and you hear a happy little trill come from you and a pretty voice say thank you in your head. Now you have a tall dark teleporting travel buddy! After a little bit of back and forth she tells you in some broken English that the Ender Dragon made her but she doesnt know how, and that it's bad and needs to be killed for the sake of Endermen and that's the new goal. Spoiler they're the corrupted souls of those that died fighting it, with it gone Endermen are free to exist as their own being and do whatever, hurray!