#I don't like sitting with a raised heart rate. Adrenaline/stress causes us pain. No point allowing it.

[blackwaxidol]

When I was very little I got stung on the palm by a wasp, and then again a few years later on that same palm, and it is something I am occasionally forced to be reminded of because there is a reoccurring pain in the joints of that hand ever since. I developed a habit of idly running or dragging the backs of my nails across that palm so it would briefly mask the stinging/burning/aching sensations between the phalanges.

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter eleven - “there’s a reason behind everything”

delicate masterlist

word count: 2k

synopsis: bucky and y/n endure an event of stressful affliction, followed by something... entrancing.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

It had been a few days. There hadn't been any more headaches or vomiting. He was glad that Y/N faced no more impediments after that. However, he can't say the same for himself.

The thrashing was violent, his limbs wrenching, muscles tensing. The sheet beneath him was damp from cold sweat. He hadn't had a nightmare this bad in a while.

Ghastly memories assaulted him, ripping him from reality and forcing him back into agony, torture, and trauma. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, but he wasn't sure if that was in the nightmare or real life. The lines of reality and dreamscape faded. He couldn't tell if he was awake, and panic metastasized throughout his body.

His arms were strapped down - yes, two of them. He couldn't tell if the other was metal or not; the only thing he could register was that he had zero control. He was exposed and helpless and right back where he was before. He had never gotten out. Hydra still had their chains around his neck, choking the humanity out of him, and violating his autonomy to make a monster out of a man.

He felt like a caged animal. All there existed was terror; he needed to get out and he didn't care if he had to cut off a body part to do it. He jerked his body and pulled his arms as hard as he could. He thrashed and thrashed, desperately trying to somehow find a way out of this hell. He tried to scream but his lungs were frozen, cracked and collapsed from the ice that they defiled him with.

Every nerve in his body was ignited, screeching to try to escape. The only coherent thought in his head was "get out." Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get—

The top of his head suddenly burned, pain radiating out in beats, like a heart rate. It was then when he realized he was awake. It was then when he realized he had flung himself up, causing his head to collide with the wooden slats of the top bunk. It was also at this point when he heard her voice.

"Bucky!" her voice shook intensely, worry bubbling from the back of her throat. "Oh my god."

Faintly, the fear in her voice registered somewhere in the back of Bucky's brain, but this had no effect on his entirely overstimulated nervous system. His reaction was visceral; he flinched hard, jolting away from Y/N and falling off the side of the bed. The floor was cold; he could feel it in his hand and knees as he knelt on all fours (all threes?) trying to catch his breath.

Y/N hurried around the bed and immediately dropped to the floor in front of him. Her hands were quivering in front of her, completely unsure of how he would react to being touched.

His eyes were glued to the floor beneath him, but in his peripheral he could see Y/N's legs. Suddenly, she knelt on her hands, trying to be as non-threatening as she could.

"Buck," she whispered. "It was a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. You're here, and you're just fine."

"Fuck," he whispered. His body was on fire; he wished it'd just calm down.

"Your hand's on the floor. What does the floor feel like?" she asked, in an attempt to detour his attention.

"Cold," he strained.

"Cold, yeah," she said. "Do you know why?"

He shook his head.

"It's because it's made of stone. Stone has a high thermal conductivity, which means it allows heat to flow through it quickly. The heat from your skin goes right into it and flows through really fast."

He pivoted his wrist slightly, smoothing the skin on his hand over the stone, feeling the cold, and thinking about what Y/N said.

She smiled slightly. "There's a reason behind everything, you know. An explanation."

"Even for this?" he asked, referencing the panic.

"Especially for this. What are you feeling right now?"

"Can't breathe."

"Yep. Okay, that's normal, too. That's your nervous system. It's really riled up right now because you're stressed. See, your body has a natural response to stress called the fight or flight response. It's supposed to be used in the wild to run from a predator or something, and you can imagine how engaging and intense that would be on your body," her voice was calm and steady. "The only thing is, your body is going through those same functions and feelings when you're not out running from a lion or something, trying to fight for your life. Instead, you're here. You're sitting on the floor and you're here with me. You're not in any immediate danger. We're fine."

He nodded, still looking down, still trying to compose himself. He couldn't look her in the eyes once he realized his face was wet from tears. He was acutely embarrassed. Be that as it may, she was helping. What she said made sense. It helped to understand just what his body was doing rather than simply trying to survive through it.

Suddenly, directly where his eyes were cast, a drop of crimson appeared on the floor; it dripped down from him. It was then when he registered the sharp ache in his nose and the warm, wet feeling around it. Blood.

"Bucky, there's- blood, are you okay?" The calm in her voice was muffled by worry.

"Y-Yeah, I'm... I'm fine. It's just my nose..."

"What can I do?"

"Can you just... keep talking?"

"Yes," she breathed, the calm returning with infinite softness. "So, there are a few divisions of the nervous system. First, you have the central nervous system and the peripheral nervous system. Then, from the peripheral, you have the somatic and autonomic systems. And then from autonomic, you have the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. Those are what you're feelin' right now. Your sympathetic is what gets you ramped up - you know, increases in heart rate, breathing, sweating. And then your parasympathetic is what calms you down, so slowing your heart rate and breathing and so on. Your sympathetic activated the fight or flight response, and your parasympathetic is trying to rein you back in... I hope that makes sense."

"It does."

"You know the hormone that gets released during all this?"

"Adrenaline's the only one I can think of."

"There you go!" she smiled. "It comes from the adrenal glands."

"Can I get those removed, then?"

"Unfortunately not. Do you still have your tonsils?"

"Nah, got those taken out forever ago."

"Appendix?"

"I think I still have that one?"

She laughed. "Well that's good. The appendix is sorta kinda part of the lymphatic system."

"The what?"

"Er- immune system I mean."

"Never knew that," he commented.

"There's a reason behind everything, you know," she quoted herself endearingly.

"An explanation," he said, completing the sentiment and finally looking up.

Upon seeing his face, Y/N  tried to hide her shock and concern, but he noticed. The apprehension was clear. He didn't want to be pitied; he wished he would've just suffered through this alone in a hole or something.

"There you are," she whispered.

Her voice was so gentle that his chest almost cramped, and then his entire body softened. Never mind. He'd much rather stay.

"Here I am."

She reached forward, ever so delicately, and smoothed the pads of her thumbs along his cheeks, effectively wiping away the tears. Effectively removing the physical aftermath of his pain.

She gave a strained smile. Why did he feel bad?

"Stay here," she instructed before getting up.

He'd do nothing but comply.

She came back with a damp white cloth, returning to her kneeling position in front of him.

"Here," she breathed, putting the cloth up to his nose.

He reached up to grab it, but her hand pulled away.

"I got it," she reassured.

He wasn't about to allow her to clean up his mess. This was pathetic enough as it was; he was pathetic enough as he was. She didn't need to tend to him out of obligation.

He insisted. "No, it's okay. I can do it."

"Bucky, let me help. Please."

"You don't have to. Seriously, it's fine."

"I know I don't have to - I want to. I want to help. Please just let me help."

He found he wasn't very good at saying no to her. He nodded silently, closed his eyes, and leaned his head forward. She got to work, gently dabbing the cloth to his blood stained skin, blotting the red, erasing the damage.

"You know," she said, a slight inflection in her voice as a result of her concentration. "I think you accidentally hit yourself in your sleep. I think that's why you're bleeding. 'Cause your head hit the top bunk, not your face."

"I'm really that talented, huh?"

She snickered. "Very. I don't know if I could manage such a feat."

"No, if you had nightmares, you'd probably just know exactly what each one meant and adjust your subconscious so you weren't afraid anymore."

She leaned back, an amused but shocked expression on her face, eyebrows raised, head tilted. Then she laughed.

"Look at you. Came for my neck with that one."

"I was just joking-"

"I know," she chuckled, leaning back in to continue her diligent work, "don't worry. I thought it was funny... even though it was wrong."

"Wrong?"

"Bucky, I wish I had that much control. I know the brain, but I can't work with mine that well. I'm only good at working with other people's."

He smirked. "Nah, I still think you could."

"Well, you have too much faith in me."

He couldn't think of a response to that. He had become decently distracted by the warmth radiating from her. She was so close. He thought back to what she said about heat conductivity, and briefly wondered how fast her warmth might transfer to him. What would happen if he just... opened his eyes-

Big mistake. He nearly drowned in the color, the depth all consuming. He hadn't noticed her movements stopped. She held the cloth at her chest, waiting. There were mere inches between them.

"Hi," she whispered, the ends of her mouth turning up ever so slightly.

He didn't think his body had ever been so still. He returned the smile all the same.

"Hi."

"What are you thinkin'?"

He could see every detail on her face. It made him equal amounts nervous and giddy. He never really thought about the number of eyelashes an average person had, but he became suddenly interested in counting each one of hers.

"I don't... I don't know..."

"You don't know? Well, it looks like there's at least a couple of hefty thoughts swirlin' around in there."

He did have a thought. Well, more of a question. What would happen if he glanced at her lips? What would happen if he just leaned in?

"Yeah... yeah, there may be a few."

When she didn't respond, her eyes bore into him, and dear lord, he felt bare. Eye contact is a dangerous, dangerous thing. But lovely. Oh, so lovely. And then that thing started to happen again: when time got lazy and the world felt slow. The room was without a sound. The only thing he could hear was his own heartbeat and maybe some of hers, too. It's as if they were in a trance.

Then, that thought returned. What would happen if he just leaned in?  Rationally, he knew he shouldn't try to find the answer to that question. Nonetheless, curiosity beckoned him. Had the space between them become smaller? He couldn't tell. Not even an inch of their skin was touching the other, but every sensation and perception was so overwhelming, he thought his brain might fizzle out.

She was just so, so close. He was frozen, and never wanted to move again. She was so close, until suddenly she wasn't. Until suddenly, the trance stopped, time caught up, and the world began to move once more. Until suddenly, Y/N's serene smile disappeared, and she leaned back, awkwardly clearing her throat.

"Does your nose hurt? I can see if I can come up with a makeshift icepack or something."

"Uh, no. No, it's fine. I don't even feel it..."

He wondered which feeling he was denying.

delicate taglist: @bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie

[yandere-romanticaa]

❝ ready or not... ❞

The eerie silence that filled the room only added more stress and worry to (y/n) as Leona laid on top of her. He came back from class not too long ago and as usual, he wanted to cuddle her. It sort of became like a routine for Leona. He never said much during these "cuddle sessions" aside from the occasional grumble or a delightful purr that resulted when (y/n) patted his head.

Looking around, (y/n) was pleased to see that pretty much the entire dorm was empty and Leona was pretty much asleep. She had been plotting for some time now and freedom was so close... She was 100% sure that Leona would not go after her because A. He's asleep and B. He's lazy. In this situation though that couldn't have been more perfect for the (h/c)ette. Leona had made it very clear in the past that he had better things to do with his precious time and her attempt was sure to succeed! There was just one issue though. He was right on top of her and she had no idea how she could move him without disturbing him too much. Dread came over her as her heart pounded in her chest, the fear crawling up her spine in an alarming rate. A light sheen of sweat covered her forehead as she started to see the holes in her brilliant plan. Her eyes were glued to the ceiling as she failed to notice Leona stirring in his sleep. His ear twiched as he picked up (y/n)'s heavy breathing and her heartbeat.

Great.

He was still groggy from his nap and even though he didn't show it, Leona is a rather intelligent young man. And he knew damn well what (y/n) was planning and he wasn't having it. Just before he could get up on his feet and call (y/n) a brat, an idea poped in to his head. A smirk found its way on his face as he licked his lower lip in anticipation, all the while avoiding (y/n)'s gaze. She knew that he was awake now as his hands gently traced patterns on her back, as if quietly telling her to just shut up already. She did as much, but soon enough Leona broke the thick silence by speaking:

"Hey (y/n), what do you say we play a little game, hm~?"

She failed to notice the predatory undertone in his velvety voice as he masked it with a playful facade. The only thing that was on her confused mind what the thought of sweet, sweet freedom. She was willing to do anything to be free once more... Her (e/c) eyes were filled with both hope and dread, a combination that Leona couldn't help but to find both amusing and downright adorable.

Sweet, innocent (y/n) had no idea what she was stepping in to.

Salty tears pricked the corners of her eyes as she gulped, fully prepared for any challenges that Leona had to throw at her. It was now or never, there was no going back. A strange feeling of sudden confidence grew inside of her as a ghost of a smile was on her delicate face, a smile that did not go unnoticed by the lion. He purred as he moved himself away from (y/n), giving her some much needed space. Crossing both his arms and legs, Leona made himself  comfortable on the king sized bed, his emerald gaze sizing (y/n) up. A long sigh escaped her bruised lips as (y/n) felt her eyes drop to the ground, her fists clenched tightly. She rose up from the bed, her back still turned to Leona.

"What kind of game did you have in mind?"

Her voice was hoarse due to not speaking for so long but she did not care anymore. She turned her head and her (e/c) gaze met Leona's green one. His face showed no emotion and it was difficult to read him. She was puzzled sure, but her sense of determination did not waver. 

"Since you are so keen to escape, you might as have fun while doing so.Therefore I suggest we play a nice, friendly game of tag. If you win I will never bother you again and you will regain your freedom... But if I win, you will be my little pet until the end of your days. What do you say~?"

Oh dear... His offer seemed to be too good to be true. To think that he was willing to let her go just like that... Only if she were to win his game though. Not having any other choice she nods quickly, accepting Leona's challenge. Still resting on the bed, Leona raises his hand and points at the door. 

"I am giving you a head start. I would use it if I were you."

She did not even bother to hear him out as she immediately ran out of the room, slamming the large door in the process. Still sitting on the bed, Leona played with his long locks of hair. He rolled his eyes and groaned in annoyance as he buried his face in one of the soft pillows.

"Damn, what a pain..."

(y/n)'s footsteps echoed in the hallways as she ran like never before. Adrenaline filled her veins as she kept chanting in her head  "Keep running!". Never once did she stop and allow herself to breathe, the breathe in the fresh, clean air. She could savor it later though because she knew if she stopped that she would be done for. She ran and ran, so much so that she was starting to taste the metallic taste of blood in her mouth. She started coughing and while doing so she tripped on her own feet. She fell down face first on the floor and grumbled in both pain and annoyance. Her nose hurt and even started to bleed a little as she gently touched it, slightly winching at the sharp pain. Her breathing was ragged and uneven and her heart felt like it was going to burst at any rate. She took in her surroundings carefully and only then did she notice just how peaceful everything was.She swore that if someone dropped a simple pin that it could be heard. 

...

Nothing.

Nothing was happening, no one was around. Her captor was nowhere to be seen and she was sure that if she was close that she could at least hear him.  (y/n) allowed herself to relax for a moment, her hope finally returning back to her. She carefully composed herself and got off the ground, dusting herself off in the process. Looking in front of her she finally saw her gateway to freedom. She was so close, that damned door was just out of hands reach. She couldn't help but to smile, relief washing over her like gentle rainfall. She made her way towards the large door and took a moment to admire the intricate patterns on it. Just as about she was going to reach for one of the handles, she heard it.

A roar, his roar.

She could barely turn around as two strong arms pinned her to the ground, the familiar smell of his cologne invaded her nostrils like a raging wildfire. She was panicking, how the Hell did he get to her!? She was alone mere seconds ago!! He just appeared out of thin air! (y/n) screamed bloody murder as Leona bared his teeth, a long but dangerous smirk on his face. Only then did (y/n) realize just how strong Leona was compared to her. He chuckled darkly, his deep voice filling her ears far too quickly. He lowered his down to her ear, never once breaking eye contact with her. (y/n) started to hyperventilate and cry uncontrollably. Leona rubbed the tears off her face gently, too gently. It only caused her to panic even more as he finally spoke up.

"Did you really think that I would let you get away, just like that? Babe, how weak do you think I am, huh?" 

She didn't dare to answer as she only turned her head to the opposite side. She could bare the intensity of Leona's stare but alas he would not grand her the pleasure of looking away. Leona forcefully turned her chin back, his claws lightly digging in to (y/n)'s soft skin. A hint of blood was on his claws as he licked it clean, enjoying the sweet taste.

"Look me in the eye when I talk, babe. You really are a pain sometimes, you know that right? You forced me to hunt you down like this but I would be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy it. It's usually the lionesses who do the hunting though, not us guys... Still, I captured my prey fair and square, wouldn't you agree~?"

She wanted to scream. She wanted to scream and wake up, to just wake up from this nightmare. She no longer had the strength fight Leona back and she felt as though she had lost the ability to speak. All of that hope and determination vanished in an instant, just like that.

The hunter has successfully captured his sweet prey.

"No matter where you go (y/n) I will always be near, Remember that."

♡♡♡

Based of the yandere! Leona headcanons on @lovecore-md 's blog. Loved the headcanons so I wanted to write a little scenario! I hope you don't mind~ And the image I used belongs to @julie-fandom-artblog!