#I don't think I've ever drawn hiccup???

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

Realized it was Leap Day this week and wanted to do Something, so I drew two leap year birthday boys meeting:

(I meant to color this but ran out of time rip)

Happy birthday to Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III and Takashi (Shiro) Shirogane. I realized while working on this that they actually have a lot in common: they both have insane adventures they just get thrown into, love flying, got marked with something that was meant to dehumanize them and ended up using it to help them start a rebellion (slavemark, Shiro's arm), they both end up LEADING rebellions, the creatures they fly with have been abused (Black Lion and the Windwalker), their enemies are a power-hungry evil dude and a WITCH (?!? like??? Haggar??? Alvin's mother??? just realized this one today and it's still blowing my mind a bit). They're extremely loyal, brave, kindhearted, love their friends and go up against impossible odds to save the world. Idk man, I think they'd be friends.

Bonus: Black Lion, Windwalker and Toothless hanging out in the background (Windwalker and Toothless not to scale because they'd barely be visible but Cressida often makes the dragons bigger so they're visible in the books so it's fine)

I've never drawn any of them don't come for me

[h3lfaerie]

HI!!

If you're seeing this, you may have come from AO3 in which case, thank you so SO MUCH for reading my fanfic Path of Alfheim (HTTYD: Hiccup/Reader).

I have put unbelievable amounts of time into the world-building of this fic and I'm really excited to be able to share it with you guys. I have never actually had a Tumblr page before, so navigating this seems a little scary but so far I've had some guidance and a bit of time to play around with it, so I think we'll be good! XD

I have gotten some truly heart-warming support on my writing and I've been dying to figure out some way I could interact with you guys more. So here we are!

Some of you may know from the comments under POA that I am kind of treating this fanfic as a bit of a trial run for writing and publishing a book. I am going down some very niche rabbit holes in regards to Vikings when it comes to research. There also may have been a good chunk of inspiration from the God of War games XD

I have a TON of content I don't get to share on AO3 in a way that I'd like to. Concept Art, Prompts, Legends, World-building, MAPS (I may have drawn up an entire continent), and a whole ass spread-sheet for the murder mystery I've been devising for the story. We mean business.

I am heavily inspired by Fantasy Novels. Authors such as Rachel Gillig, Sarah J. Maas, Brandon Sanderson, and Robin Hobb have been my literal life blood recently. And How to Train Your Dragon is a franchise that's been very close to my heart ever since I was a child. And while that love may have turned into some concerning amounts of simping for Hiccup Haddock I promise while we will definitely get some fan service in that regard (because let's be honest, DreamWorks made him unfairly attractive), the plot and the world-building I've devised are, I hope just as enticing as the romance ;)

Path of Alfheim is product of ambition, sheer spite, sleep deprivation and my neurotic brain that came up with the plotline at one random night at 2:22am.

In short, I'm really excited for this ride and I'm beyond grateful to have people joining in along with me. Thank you.

Now, let's all go be deadly assassins <3

[liminalpebble]

Eddie's Education: Chapter 4

Masterlist link

Minors DNI

As Eddie's van trundled through the heavy curtains of rain, he'd run out of things to say, so he was fidgeting instead, heart ready to thump out of his chest.

He didn't like the dark, the rain, the thunder storms; not after the crimson lightening and deafening thunder claps of the upside down, not after trekking through the cold endless nights of terrain like sinewy tar pits as his wounds stung with every step, always running on adrenaline and fight or flight, desperately seeking an exit. It was still hard to believe that it was all real, but if he ever doubted it, he could see and feel the scars to remind himself. Actually, he used to enjoy the night time most of all, and watching thunderstorms under the awning with his Uncle Wayne, swigging coffee from one of their many collected mugs and shootin' the shit until well after sunset, but those were more innocent days. Now just the vermilion wash of a stoplight gave him shivers, reminding him of that red-flashing sky.

Of course, his heart was also thumping from nerves, worried about his tutor; someone he was hoping to consider his friend (though he wouldn't dare get his hopes up for more). She was so quiet sitting there beside him, an expression of defeat drawn over her dark almond-shaped eyes like a curtain. She seemed so soft and so small, balled up in the passenger seat with her head against the window. He was dying to hold her.

As he pulled up to the spot outside her building and cut the engine, he heard sniffing and hiccuping just barely beneath the slashing din of the storm, and turned to see her sobbing.

“Oh...hey hey hey!” he prattled, suddenly forgetting his fears. He twisted in his seat to face her and fished his bandanna from his pocket, handing it to her.

“Thank you. I'm so sorry, Eddie. I'm being a baby,” she gasped out, rubbing her eyes with the soft cotton. “Thanks for the lift. I'll see you Thursday.”

“Hey!” He said holding her arm gently. “I'm not gonna let you go off to cry your eyes out alone, sweetheart. You've listened to me enough. Talk to me.”

“I shouldn't. I'm already on thin ice.”

“Leia, look at me. I won't tell anyone. I promise. Get it off your chest.”

Looking into his guileless brown eyes, she knew he meant it to the core. “I just...I've worked so hard to get my Master's, to be a good teacher and...and be taken seriously and it's just never enough. I've jumped all the hurdles in record time...tried to live up an insane standard, even though all my life no one had much faith in me. I get talked down to like a child. I'm up to my eyeballs in student debt,” she looked around and shrugged “and I don't have anything or anyone here in the ass end of nowhere...no offense,” she quickly added, worried that Eddie might take her comment personally.

“Nah, don't be sorry. You're right. This place is a shithole.”

She let out a little bark of laughter at that, wet eyes meeting his.

“I just feel so alone. The way people look at me here, like I'm an alien...just because I don't have a last name they recognize, or because I don't give a fuck about the local teams making the play-offs...”

“Or because you'd rather sit home reading Tolkien than going to the games,” Eddie added.

She knit her dark brows together in confusion. “How did you know I like Tolkien?”

He turned beet red. “Oh...Uh...I saw The Silmarillion on Book Mountain the first day.”

She laughed again, and it dislodged a few more tears, about to drip from her chin, onto her clothes. Without thinking, Eddie reached over to catch them, stroking them off her chin as he cradled her cheek. His eyes went wide with panic as he thought, oh fuck...oh fuck...that was weird, Eddie. That was a weird thing to do. You shouldn't have done that. Even as he thought this, he realized, to his horror that his hand wasn't moving from her face. In fact, she had closed her eyes, relaxed, her thick black lashes glossed with tears, lips and cheeks rosy from sobbing. He felt a little guilty thinking that she looked so pretty when she cried, that her skin felt so soft, and her lips looked so delicious, like a ripe wet apple. Her shoulders slumped in relief, leaning into his touch.

This feels so good...so right, Leia thought; the way the callouses on his fingers grazed gently over her jaw in little soothing strokes, as if he was terrified to hurt her with his rough hand. The cool smooth metal of his rings calmed her flushed skin. Then her heart sank as she thought, but it isn't right. It isn't right to lean on him. I'm the teacher, he's the student. I would be abusing my power.

“Sorry!” they yelped to each other simultaneously after being lost in the moment, as if they both touched a hot stove.

“It's just there was a little...” Eddie stammered.

“It's okay, Eddie. Thank you,” she said, smiling as she reassuringly patted his forearm, which was now bare without his jacket. With a start, she remembered that she was still wearing it and said “Oh...here you go,” passing it back to him.

“You sure, sweetheart? It's still coming down out there.”

“It's fine...it's fine. I'm like two steps from the door. Thank you Eddie, for listening...for everything.”

“No problem...it's nothing,” he said with a little dismissive wave. “Anytime, seriously...oh here,” he said grabbing a scrap of receipt and a pen from the littered dashboard and scribbling his phone number”.

“Eddie...I can't...”

“Seriously, call me. You shouldn't be alone in this town. There are other weirdos like us if you know where to look. Hawkins is your home now. It should feel like one.”

She nodded, tucking the little slip in her backpack, then looking him in the eye. “Goodnight, Eddie.”

He let out a breath he didn't realized he'd been holding as he said, “Goodnight, Miss Vespero.”

She giggled at that, and in a flash she was out the door, and in the lobby of her building, waving to him. He waved back, giving her a big silly grin which would be plastered to his face the rest of the evening, and most of the next day.

@sunflowerdaydreamer

[iwaizumeanie]

character: matsukawa issei

notes: brief mentions of sex, alcohol, drunk sappy issei tee hee, angel as a petname <3 idk i don't like this too too much, but i've been writing it since before i even decided to make this blog l o l. take it and go.

You hated the feeling rising in your chest. It was like a balloon, swelling fast and filling your rib cage first, then traveling up your neck, leaving you with a disgusting lump in your throat.

You'd noticed him immediately when you entered the bar. His tousled black hair hadn't changed, his slate eyes were just as piercing as you remembered as they caught your own stare. He smirked at you briefly, immediately retracting as you rolled your eyes and made a beeline to a barstool as far away from Matsukawa as you could be. You scrolled on your phone mindlessly as you waited for the bartender to notice you tucked away in the corner.

"You're not going to say hi?" You groaned inwardly at the cool tone of his voice, finally mustering up the courage to meet his gaze.

"Hi, Issei. Good enough?"

He frowned at you, "You're still mad at me."

You couldn't stop the scoff from escaping you, planting your hands firmly on the bartop as you turned your torso toward him fully. "Mad at you? What would make you think that I'm mad at you?"

He let out a low laugh, leaning in closer to you. You weren't ignorant to notice his cologne still smelled the same, his sweater still fit tight around his chest, and his ego was large as ever.

"You're mad that I walked out on you."

You bit your lower lip, thinking of a retort before the bartender finally made his way to you, cutting off any opportunity to snap back at Matsukawa.

"She'll have a vodka soda, top shelf, extra lime. Put it on my tab." He grinned, looking at your annoyed expression from the corner of his eye.

He turned his attention back to you quickly, propping himself on his elbow against the bar. "So, am I right? You're mad I left?" His smug expression was enough to make you bubble with rage, his confidence was nothing short of sickening, and still you couldn't help but feel entranced by him as he stood in front of you.

"You can't leave somebody if you were never theirs in the first place, Issei." The moment your drink was set in front of you, you hopped off the barstool, turning away to find somewhere, anywhere else to sit in hopes that Matsukawa wouldn't follow. And he didn't, instead, he watched as you faded into the crowd of the packed bar. And he felt the strings of his heart tug just a little tighter.

-

The sound of a thumping against your front door stirred you awake, straining your eyes to check the clock. It read just a little past two, and your legs swung over the side of the bed to check what was happening in the hallway. Staring out of your peephole, you were met with the zoomed in sight of Matsukawa's forehead, pressed against your door, with his fist lightly pounding against it.

You groaned, internally battling whether you wanted to open the door or not. Surely he hadn't heard the sound of your footsteps over his own low sighs and groans as he fought to keep himself standing. Then, you heard it, your name slipping past his lips, drawn out in a drunken daze.

You sighed as you unlocked the door, opening it quickly, sending him toppling over into your entry way. He stared up at you with glazed over eyes, a dopey smile spreading wide across his face.

"Hi, angel."

"What are you doing here? It's late."

"Jus' wanted to see you," a hiccup broke apart his sentence. "Wanted to see you again."

He picked himself up clumsily, looming over you and swaying in place. He leaned down, hoping for a kiss, but as you turned your head he was met with your cheek instead. You made your way to the kitchen, pulling a cup down from a cabinet and fetching water for him.

"Sit," you gestured to the couch and he was quick to plop down, propping his legs up on your coffee table in the same way you'd always hated. He gulped the water down quickly, like it was the first thing he'd had to drink in weeks.

"I wanted to see you."

"You already said that, Issei. Why can't you leave me alone?" Your hands covered your face as you hunched over on yourself, burying away any trace of sadness from your features.

"I miss," he sighed, leaning his head against the back of the couch, closing his eyes tight. "I miss the way you feel."

"So you came here to try and fuck me?"

"No! Y'idiot, I miss waking up next to you, and the way you would jus' run your hands through my... My hair in the mornings." He was struggling through his sentence, gulping back the urge to vomit on the carpet. You stared at him in awe. "You always, you always made m' feel like you were listening to me when I talked. Y'know what I mean?"

"Why did you leave?" Your voice was barely a whisper, like you didn't actually intend for him to hear you. "I just woke up and you were gone. It was like you never even existed. No goodbye, nothing. If you were going to leave, then you should've just stayed out of my life."

He stared back at you now, a sharpness in his gaze that wasn't there before. "Got scared. You scare me, angel." He looked away from you again, squeezing his eyes shut tightly like the words coming from him hurt. "'m scared to love you. Y'r way too good for me." He laid across the couch, curling in on himself and tucking his fist below his chin. "I jus' wanted to come here," he yawned, cutting off his own sentence. "Wanted to wake up next to you again."

You sat in shock for a moment before you heard a soft snore escape him. You left the room quickly, fetching a blanket from your dresser and throwing it over top of him before making your way back to bed. You laid in the darkness, mind reeling at the words Matsukawa had said to you.

"He's drunk," you whispered wobbily through tears that you refused to let escape. Sleep seemed out of reach as you tossed and turned, thinking about the drunken idiot asleep on your couch, only one room over from you, and how much you wish you weren't in love with him.

-

You woke up in a daze, the morning sun creeping through your curtains as you fought off the urge to pull the blanket back over your head. It was only after a few minutes that he smell of coffee crept into your nose, stirring you out of bed. You padded your way into the kitchen, startled by a disheveled looking Matsukawa hunched over the sink, rubbing his temples.

"Oh, good morning. Do you have any pain killers? My head is pounding." He spoke to you in such a casual tone it almost made you want to scream at him, hit him, something.

Instead though, you pulled out a bottle of ibuprofen, handing him a few before pouring a cup of coffee and collecting your thoughts. "Why are you still here, Issei?"

"Ouch," he placed a hand on his chest in mock hurt. "A little hospitality wouldn't kill you."

"You already showed up in the middle of the night to claim my couch, and broke into my coffee, how much more do I have to do?" Your words bit at him.

"Look, I'm sorry I just showed up, I didn't know where to go."

"I don't know, your own house maybe?"

He leaned against the kitchen sink and stared at you, making you feel like you were only two feet tall. It wasn't scrutinizing, and he didn't have the same edge to his gaze as he usually did. He looked like he was sad almost, like he wanted to say a million things but didn't know just how to get the words out.

"It's not fair. You can't just come in here and take my life over again like you weren't the one who left."

"Listen," he took a step forward, retracting immediately, finding balance in leaning against the counter again. "I meant what I said last night, angel. I left because you scare the shit out of me."

Your eyes narrowed in his direction, staying quiet and waiting for him to continue.

"I can't give you what you deserve. And I know that for a fact, so I did what I had to do. That's it. But that doesn't mean I haven't thought of you every single day. I love you, angel, I'm sorry to say it."

You laughed bitterly at the impossibility of the situation. In came the storm that was Matsukawa Issei, reeling you right back into the eye of it without the chance to ground yourself. You pushed yourself off the counter, closing the space between the two of you, pointing a finger into his chest harshly.

"If you love me, Matsukawa, you do a real shitty job of showing it. I want you to leave."

He caught your wrist, pulling you flush against his chest. You didn't push back, didn't bring a hand up to slap him in the face, and he wasn't shy to notice that you definitely didn't seem to mind his other arm wrapping around your waist, his hand resting on the small of your back. He stared down at you with a confidence only he could pull off, smirking at your scowl.

"Don't go throwing around my family name like that. I don't think you actually want me to go, do you?"

You inhaled sharply, pressing your forehead against his shoulder to hide the tears you let fall past your cheeks. "No. I never wanted you to go in the first place."

He lifted your chin to meet his eyes, softening at your sad expression. "I'm not going anywhere this time. I'm gonna make sure I earn your trust, and I'm going to to everything I can to give you the things you deserve, angel. I don't wanna hurt you this way."

He pressed chaste kisses across your cheeks, landing the final one against your lips softly, sighing into you. Your arms snaked tightly around his neck, unwanting and unwilling to let go of him.

"You better not make me regret this, Issei."

"Wouldn't dream of it, angel."

[we-have-bangtan]

Random One-shot.

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

Theme: Angst, fluff, pain.

Warning: mentions of alcohol and swear words.

A/n: pls imagine long hair Jungkook from winter package 2021.

“I want an answer, goddammit!” Jungkook yelled in his drunk stupor. His eyes looking up to the sky from the large rock he was standing on, he wanted an answer, he was tired of this.

"WHY AM I NOT A PRINCESS???" He yelled again when someone yelled at him. "Jesus Christ, can you not shut up, dumbass' like you don't get to be princesses!" a female voice snapped

"GOD??" he asked, terrified, he wasn't sure if he was ready to meet God yet, he was still so young and dumb, a sinner who hadn't done a single act of redemption yet.

"No you idiot, look down here!" the voice said again, this time much closer, Jungkook looked down as instructed to see Yn looking up at him from the foot of the rock, "You!!!" he yelled, jumping off the rock in an attempt to look cool only to stumble and fall to the ground.

"Aish what a loser!" she playfully sneered as she reached out to help him up, "You didn't get hurt, did you?" she asked, taking his hand as pulling him along with her.

"Why did you come here?" he asked, stumbling after her to where ever she was taking him, he didn't care where she was taking him, he was just happy that she was with him. "Why? am I not supposed to be here?" she demanded watching in amusement as Jungkook tried to correct himself.

"Could you not be nicer to me? I'm going through a tough time here" he groaned, putting all his body weight on her as she dragged him to his car.

"You're facing the consequences of your actions Koo, you bought these tough times upon your self" she mumbles softly, resting him against the car door before patting his pants.

"Yah, Yn! you're hot and all but not my type, this is harassment!" he yelled, hiccuping between each word. "Shut up and stay still, I'm trying to find your keys" she huffed as she finally pulled his keys out of his back pocket.

She successfully shoved him into the passenger seat before heading to the other side, "Here have some water" she said, opening the bottle of water he always kept in his car. He obeyed quietly, his eyes growing wider as he put his lips to the mouth of the bottle, taking a few sips. Her cooing and praise motivating him to finish the whole bottle.

He rested his head on her shoulder as she rived up the engine, she didn't seem to mind the weight of his head, calmly changing gears as they went down Namsan mountain. "How did you get here?" he asked, already half asleep. "Yoongi gave me a ride" she answered as she pulled up on the main road which was quite crowded for 1:00 a.m.

"Why did you come to get me? I've been horrible to you" he asked feeling a pang in his chest remembering all that he had done to her, to sweet, sweet Ynnie who never saw wrong in anyone.

"You weren't horrible Gukkie, you were just hurt, you didn't hurt me or anything" she said, her eyes on the road, she refused to look at him as he spoke.

"Stop saying that, I put too much effort into hurting you for you to say that" he whined as un-shed tears pooled in his eyes, she laughed at his words, it was true.

He had gone out of his way to hurt her one too many times, and it had hurt like a gun shot right through her chest, but she was okay now, she was doing fine and had forgiven this brat a long time ago, but he didn't seem to be able to forgive himself for the pain he had caused her.

"Go to sleep Jungkook-ah, I'm here with you, just sleep, I'll wake you up once we get home." she mumbled softly, her words giving Jungkook the green light to fall asleep.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Jungkook felt like he was seeing God when he woke up, a blinding light in his eyes, but blinking a few times proved to him that that was not the case. It wasn't God, just his bedroom curtain being drawn away and the sun shining in.

He groaned as he realized where he was, 'was it all a dream?' he thought as he pulled himself off his bed, his head felt like it had been bombed with a M67 grenade, an unpleasant taste settling in his mouth from all the alcohol last night only to realize that he was in the same clothes he had been wearing yesterday.

He really wished last night hadn't been a dream, that Yn had actually come to get him from Namsan mountain. It had been their spot before they had stopped going there due to the amount of drunkards who went there to drink and left beer bottles everywhere.

He never would have thought he'd join that category but his actions last night made him ashamed of himself.

A shower was up next, the scalding water hitting his skin made him hiss, but he refused to wait till the water cooled down, his mind stopped thinking for a while as he showered.

The thoughts flooding back once he got back, pulling on a t-shirt as he went into the living room.

"So you're awake!" Namjoon yelled when he saw Jungkook emerge from his room. "My head is killing me!" Jungkook groaned as he headed to the fridge, "Yn left a note and something else for you, it's on the kitchen counter" Jin yelled from his place on the couch.

Yn's sticky note stuck to a lunchbox which laid on the counter, he wiped his hair with a towel as he grabbed a bottle of cold water, going to read the note,

Jungkookie,

Please drink moderately from now on, being an alcoholic is so not cool and don't drink in public, you'll get arrested.

I know you're going through a tough time so I made kookies for you, enjoy them to the fullest and please try to get the closure that you deserve. Don't coop yourself up in your room, you're starting to get too pale.

Please be careful, tell the boys I love them <3.

Yn.

'tell the boys I love them', Jungkook read the same line over and over again, did this mean she didn't love him anymore? was he no longer existent to her?

He didn't know what that line meant, but it made him sad, sad that he wasn't part of the 'boys' that she was referring to, nope, he was no long one of her 'boys', she was someone who he'd never be able to face again.

A pang went through his chest as reality settled in once again. He had no redemption from this, no one should forgive him for the things he had done to her, not even him.

"Did you see her when she left?" he asked as he picked up the lunchbox, seeing the perfectly made kookies inside, tears welled up in his eyes as he looked down at them, kookies were Yn's version of dasik, a traditional Korean cookie that she made often.

Nostalgia hit him like a truck as he picked up the fragile dessert, the smell of sesame seeds bringing back memories of the two of them in her parents' kitchen, him teasing her while she toiled away at the counter, grinding, kneading and pressing.

He didn't help because she always yelled at him for making a mess but oh, the things he'd do to get her to yell at him again, even if it was for just one more time.

"Yn made dasik????" Jimin said, peering at the delicacy, Jungkook quickly wiped away his tears, trying to seem strong, he didn't want his hyungs seeing him cry over sweets.

Jimin's words had caught the attention of everyone else, making them all whine, "How come he gets sweets and I get nothing!!" Jin huffed as he pulled his phone out to dial Yn's number, a number Jungkook didn't have anymore.

"Yah, Jungkookie, sharing is caring you know" Namjoon said as he got up from his place when Yoongi stopped him, he knew how much the cookies meant to Jungkook now that he and Yn were no longer the same that they used to be.

Jungkook quietly walked back to his room with the box and water bottle, plopping down on the floor so he could lean his back against the bed, he opened the box again.

He picked one delicate kookie up, she had named it after him when things had still been fine, no, not fine, when things had been wonderful. He never thought these cookies would mean so much to him.

The tears that he had controlled so carefully in the kitchen flowed free as the memories flooded his mind, every memory of Yn fitting like the beautiful stained glass windows of churches, he rushed to pull out his phone, scrolling through the bin in search of pictures of the two of them.

He didn't know why Yn's presence had affected him so much, but it had affected him in a way no break up could. It had been an year since he and Yn had gone off the deep end, cutting off contact with each other. Jungkook had gone the extra mile to delete all the pictures he had of Yn and to make her life as horrible as he could.

He couldn't blame it on his, now, ex-girlfriend Minjoon who had encouraged him to cut her out, all he could do was blame himself for it, he had no reason for being like that, no excuse to make himself feel better, he never thought Yn leaving his life would be more painful than Minjoon leaving.

Fuck, he had never though Yn would leave his life, if someone had told that to 19 year old Jungkook, he would have laughed in their face. But now, here he was, crying over Yn's kookies and her photos.

He had been a terrible friend and he'd never forgive himself for it, he had done unmentionable things that had ripped Yn from him despite her trying to hold on for so long.

His tears turned into sobs as he remembered all the times she had just taken his abuse without a word while the rest of the boys had yelled at him.

He was a fool for choosing Minjoon over her, when he had broken up with Minjoon the day before yesterday, he hadn't been sad that they had broken up, he was sad that he had let go of Yn, that he had lost hold of the one constant in his life.

------------------------------------------

Namjoon pressed his ear to the door, hoping to hear something, anything, that would indicate Jungkook was still alive in there. It had been 3 days since he had locked himself in, only coming out at the dead of night to grab more booze before going back inside.

He felt Jungkook deserved ever inch of pain he was going through for everything he had done to Yn, Namjoon pitied him, the kid was still young, supposed to be carefree and making merry, but here he was, drinking his life away.

While Namjoon definitely wouldn't mind leave Jungkook alone to get over it himself, he couldn't let the kid just die in there.

.

.

.

.

.

Jungkook jerked awake when a bucket of water was splashed on his face, his head and neck aching at the sudden movement, "What??" he thought as he looked around, empty bottles of alcohol scattered around his room.

He didn't think as he laid back down in the puddle of water, ready to go back to sleep when a sharp pain shot through his body, starting from his leg, he immediately jerked up again, his gaze on the chunky pair of shoes that had just caused him pain.

"I TOLD YOU TO DRINK MODERATELY" a voice yelled as his eyes traveled above the shoes till his eyes met Yn's dark ones, he didn't know what to do or say now that he was face to face with him.

"You need to get over Minjoon, she was a hoe for breaking your heart, but that doesn't mean you become an alcoholic, now go take a shower, you smell of garbage" she said, pulling Jungkook onto his feet. He swayed a little letting the words sink in.

"You think I'm this upset because of Minjoon?" he asked when his brain finally started working again, "Ummm... are you not?" she asked, seeming surprised at the revelation.

"No, I'm not" he said, stepping closer to her, quickly stopping when he saw her move away, "Go shower Jungkook, we'll talk once you've eaten something" she said softly, her concern for him evident in her tone.

He quietly left, heading to the bathroom, praying that she'd still be there by the time he came back. He washed his hair and body as quickly as possible, clumsily dropping the bottle of shampoo and bar of soap in the process.

He stepped out to a somewhat clean room, the puddle of water was gone, but the bottles remained the way they were before, he quickly gathered them up, using his foot to swing the door open as he head into the living room.

He saw Yn and Jimin chilling on the couch, giggling over something on Jimin's phone, oblivious to his presence. He loudly dropped the cans and bottles into the trash making the two of them turn towards him.

"All clean?" Yn asked, craning her neck so she could see him clearly. He nodded, he had freshened up although his hair was still wet. She beckoned him over to the couch, shoving Jimin out of his place next to her (it made him whine but he left eventually) .

A bowl of steaming hot ramyeon sat on the coffee table, the serving was enough for two people and Jungkook assumed it was both for him and Yn. She turned onto her side, facing him as he sat on the couch, he did the same, pulling his feet up and crossing them as she stared at him with a smile.

She picked up the bowl of ramyeon, handing it to him, "Eat." she demanded, giving him a pair of chopsticks as well. "Are you not eating?" he asked, digging his chopsticks in, "You haven't eaten in three days, Jungkook, you need to eat" she answered as he slurped the noodles, "this is good!!" he exclaimed.

Yn almost drooled at the noises he made while eating, her mouth watering at the thought of exactly how good that ramyeon was, "you want some?" Jungkook asked as he pulled up a piece of chicken from inside, hovering it within the reach of her mouth.

Yn gulped as she stared at the piece, no, no no, she should not, "go on, one bite" Jungkook tempted, his hand still infront of her mouth, "no? are you sure?" he teased, seeing right through her poker face.

Yn gave in when Jungkook made a huge show of pulling his chopsticks away, leaning forward and grabbing the piece of chicken with her mouth. "I'll go get you another pair of chopsticks" Jungkook aid as he got up, he felt better, maybe he and Yn would go back to how things were before.

He hopped back onto the couch, handing her the chopsticks. They passed the bowl back and forth, each of them taking a bite and passing it back. "Why did you come here anyway?" he asked as she slurped on the noodles.

"Why? should I not come?" she demanded as she passed the bowl back, he paused, looking up at her, "I just never thought you'd come back here after everything" he answered, taking a big bite before giving it back.

"want to order some jajangmeyoen? I don't think this ramen will be enough" he said, scrolling through his phone for the restaurant's phone number, Yn hummed in agreement as she passed the bowl back, "here order" he said, handing her his phone as he continued to eat.

"I came because Namjoon called me saying you drank yourself to death" she admitted as she dialed the number, ordering a variety of side dishes before hanging up.

"You were worried" he said, reframing the answer she gave, "I never stopped" she mumbled as she finished the last of the ramen in the bowl, the sauce getting on her upper lip as she drank the rest of the soup.

"Why did you care so much?" he mumbled as he pulled his long sleeve to wipe away the sauce o her face, like a parent tending to their messy child. "Because I love you" she huffed as she saw tears well up in Jungkook's eyes at her words.

She pulled him into her arms, holding him tight as he cried, 'poor Jungkook, he's been through so much' she thought as she hugged him tight, "I though you didn't love me anymore" he sobbed as he held on to her waist, refusing to let go.

"Aigoo, why did you think that, did I ever give you a reason to think that I don't love you anymore?" she coo'd, it was funny, how Jungkook was much bigger than she was in size, yet he tended to make himself as small as possible when she held him.

"But I hurt you so much, why would you still?" he sobbed, she held him tighter, letting him cry, "you were in love, I don't blame you, you didn't know any better" she assured, "That doesn't excuse everything I did" he mumbled.

It was true, it didn't excuse what he did but he was too precious for Yn to push away, he meant too much for her and she knew it wasn't totally Jungkook's fault that they had fallen apart in pieces.

She had put all her baggage on him, regardless of if he could carry it for her or not, it had been a key factor in driving him away. She had been too dependent on him, she basically revolved around him till they broke apart.

But Jungkook going away had made her better, more independent and more social. She stopped connecting comfort with Jungkook, he was not her comfort during those times, she had learnt to comfort herself, make herself happy.

During the time her and Jungkook had been fighting, her ego had flared up, she stopped trying with him, preferring to return the snarky attitude that he was giving her, his actions had hurt her pride but she was over it now, she had made peace with the past and with Jungkook's behavior.

She knew he was suffering and she hated seeing him like this, "don't cry, don't cry kook, it's okay, I'm fine, I'm over it" she mumbled as his sobs turned into silent tears.

She looked up to see Namjoon standing at the doorway, seeing awkward and uncomfortable. Yn gave him a small smile, he considered that as permission to sneak into his room quietly.

Jungkook's sobs turned into silent tears as he came to terms with reality, Yn was here with him again, she was the same, she didn't hate him, she still loved him the same. "Who the hell even told you that I don't love you anymore?" Yn demanded as she saw his tears subside, he just held on to her now, no more crying.

"You wrote 'tell the boys i love them' what else do you want me to think" he whined as buried his face in her neck, not wanting to see her eyes narrow at him, "yah, I didn’t write that note so you'd overthink and cry about it" she scolded as she squished his cheeks in her hand.

He pulled away, getting up to go drink some water, he just had the most satisfying cry of his life and he felt lighter, maybe it was the dehydration, he didn't know but he certainly felt lighter. His head was more clear than it had been in ages.

He was washing his face when the doorbell rang, "jajangmyeon!!" Yn exclaimed as she went to answer the door, taking the various boxes before grabbing his wallet, "where is your card?" She yelled as she dug through it. "Its on the desk in my room" he yelled back as he scrubbed the soap off.

He felt happy, hearing her shuffling around in the apartment after such a long time, it made him think that they could go back to how they were before. But for now, he was satisfied, happy, he'd take whatever she'd give him now. He had a lot of making up to do and he swore he'dtreat her better than he had. He'd make himself a better friend for her.

Even if they didn't become best friends right away, he swore he'd put in the effort and consideration to make himself deserving of her love again.

[aimasup]

Ok so from this first part I've decided to finally throw in my headcanon version of Roman and Remus when Thomas was a kid.

(Next here and next here)

@miraculousglitter

But first here's a fic as my headcanon on how they split (Tw gore and angst) :

The Seperation (oneshot)

Fun sniffled. "So... so you're saying... I need to be better...?"

Heart stared. No! No, no, no no! What was happening? Fun never cried. He never let the most piercing of insults get to him. He was always the bounciest of the Sides, bold and daring, without a care in the world. The log to lean on.

And now tears were pouring down his face.

"Fun, please, I never said that! That's not what I meant!" Heart placed his hands on Fun's shoulders, feeling like he was going to tear up himself. Somehow, he had made the unstoppable force that was the royal King Fun cry. He mentally kicked himself.

"I would never think any less of you for anything you do. Everyone else thinks so too. We all love you for who you are!" he said.

"It's just... the things you say and do sometimes. We don't hate you for doing them, what we hate is the things that get Thomas in trouble. That's what we don't want."Heart pulled Fun into a tight hug.

"It's nothing to do with you. Please don't cry." Heart choked. "You're perfect."

Fun gulped down tears. "So.. so.. so it's a - a problem? That we can f - fix?"

Heart had never thought of it that way, but as always, Fun was a brilliant Side. "Y - yeah! You're right! Maybe we can fix this! L - like a cold, or - or a bad knee owie...."

They dissolved into silence. Fun sat on his knees, tear marks still left on his tanned face. Heart had joined him on the bedroom floor and let go of him, but still kept a gentle hold on his hands.

Fun knew what Heart said was true. But the overwhelming aura of his room was pressing in on him from all directions. What no one realized was that Heart was one of Thomas' strongest sides. His room was especially influential. It would constantly shift and change to any emotion, subconscious or not.

Heart was scared.

Not of him, clearly, but Fun knew what else he was scared of. It was true. He had bad things and bad thoughts in him, and they needed to go. Then, everything would be better and everyone would love him again.

Fun hiccuped. "S - so, should we.. get Learning?" He was the one who named everyone. In his chest he knew these names weren't very 'clever' but given Thomas' limited vocabulary they were his best efforts.

Heart considered this. He shook his head.

"I dunno. I'm not sure how he can help. But I do know we're supposed to... uh...separate the problem. Separate...we could just separate the bad stuff! Right!" he said excitedly.

Fun furrowed his brow in deep thought, which was rare for the Side. "Se...perate? How?"

Heart's face dropped. He plopped back onto the floor, where he had previously stood up in a 'eureka' moment.

"... I dunno."

They sat there, pondering some more.

Fun glanced over unsurely at Heart. He noticed the unnaturally tired look on his features. Heart was clearly trying so hard to come up with a solution, which was a problem because that wasn't his job. He wasn't supposed to solve objective issues, which would surely tire him out further than Fun already had.

Fun looked at the ground. He stood up, catching Heart's attention.

"Fun?"

Everything was wrong. Was he wrong? No, it had to be the bad things, but wouldn't that make it him as well technically? Was he bad? Were the thoughts bad?

He took deep breaths, that quickened the more he thought about everything that happened in the past few years. All his friends' thoughts, all his doubts, all of the troubles because of him.

He had to banish the bad thoughts. Banish the bad thoughts. Get rid of them. Get rid of the things ruining everyone's lives.

Get rid of the things that tarnished his otherwise perfect image. Get rid of the ideas he wasn't supposed to enjoy because they were gross and wrong. Get rid of the scary stuff that would make his friends sad.

Fun choked. Rip it out. Kick it out of his body. He was supposed to extract it like a spider nest in his rib cage - no! Gross, bad, scary! You're scary, you're not me!

But why didn't it feel like it was coming out? Something was tearing away, but it wasn't a something else, it was... him.

Heart stared in horror as Fun stumbled and caught on his own feet. He was clutching at his hair and silently choking. Unholy gargled whimpers escaped his throat as golden bile bubbled out of his throat, under bloodshot, teary eyes.

Get rid of the bad things! They're awful, they're not you! They're not me!

I'm not you?

You're not me! You're you!

But I'm you! I'm me!

No! I'm me! Shut up! I'm tearing! It hurts!

No, I'm tearing, you're tearing!

Leave me! I'm leaving!

Leave me! I'm leaving!

Fine!

Fine!

Fine!

"I don't need you!" Fun screamed in a horrific layered voice, raw and primal. "You're going away!"

Heart was crying. He didn't know what to do, his friend was in a bad shape, nothing was done about it.

"I'm leaving! Fine, I'm leaving! Gone, I'm leaving! We're leaving!" Like a madman, Fun clawed at the carpet rapidly, oozing gold and black down his center. Thin red lines crept into view with bone cracking noises, the liquids stained the floor and his beautiful grey outfit, his pupils changed color, his layered voice grew more and more divided by the minute until he tore.

Right down the middle.

Heart screamed.

What fell onto the carpets were two different shapes. One hit the floor with a soft thud, with more grace and beauty Heart had ever seen. The other hit the carpet with a greasy splat, smelling as it looked.

Heart was still unsure of the situation. With heaving breaths, he scrambled over to help up the one who looked the most like his friend. He still didn't know what to do at the moment, but he just wanted to hold Fun in his arms and comfort him.

"Fun? Fun! Please, answer me, please! I'm sorry, please, wake up..." Heart shook him. "Please, please, please, please," he chanted, then broke out a little sob. "Please?"

The Fun in his arms stirred. Bleary eyes blinked and then shot wide open. "Heart!" he gasped.

Heart also gasped, staring at the face that sort of looked like Fun. Somehow he had completely different features, and his eyes were pure ruby red, but his hair and his clothes were so similar. It was definitely his rustic, bold Fun, but every move looked like a gentle dance instead of a determined lead. His voice was more airy and full of song, more than usual.

The two Sides stared at each other, still in each other's arms. A wet splat alerted them. Their heads whipped around to the noise.

To their horror, a...figure emerged from the black oily heap on the carpet. The figure shone ebony and dripped all over the thing. Somehow it was a mockery of Fun's image, but Heart couldn't help but be drawn to recognize him too.

They stared, and as it advanced slowly, the red one screamed in fright. "No! What is that?!"

Heart and his room were pounding. The answer spilled out before he could stop it, but he didn't care. "That's the bad stuff! It must have worked!"

He took up Fun's hands, now absolutely sure that it was him. "The stuff is gone! Please, don't look so doubtful, we're a family, we've always been!" Pulling him into a hug, Heart laughed in relief. Completely unaware of how his 'Fun' was feeling through all this.

The oily figure reared its head, revealing a terrifying smile and two glowing green eyes. It stumbled over itself and fell, a high, ugly voice tearing out of its orifices. "Heart!"

Heart let go of Fun and they hurried to their feet and backed off, realizing the sludge figure was still in their room. They stared at it with bated breath, like it was a cockroach ready to take flight after them. Their expressions were contorted by fear.

From the ground, it tried and failed to reach out to them. "Heart! I'm here, I've gotten rid of the bad stuff! Heart! Please, Heart!"

But they were already bolting out the room, Fun in Heart's tow. With a yelp, they had fled, calling for Learning and Careful.

The demonic creature sat in silence. Then it started laughing, cackling, a noise that was the stuff of nightmares. Tears streamed down its cheeks, smile permanently etched on its face, its shoulders shaking.

A small, crouched monster with yellow snake eyes silently watched the broken thing crumble from the doorway.

[subjectivelycorrectcritics]

Middle Thoughts: SK8 The Infinity

Type: Anime

Title: SK8 The Infinity

Genres: Sports anime

Progress: 10/12, though refers more to 6/12

Spoilers Below

I feel like there's a few things I should preface about myself before starting. For one, I've been pretty burned out from anime as of late, or at least new anime. As for as anime watching goes, I've pulled back to rewatch some of my old favorites and finally get to some of those films I've been meaning to watch forever. Secondly, I rarely watch airing anime. There was a point where I started following that trend so I could join in some of the conversations of my friends and the anime community I was in, only to quickly realize why I didn't do it in the first place. Watching an anime when it's airing, depending on what anime you're watching, usually means you're constantly stuck on cliffhangers. It also means that, if whatever you're watching it on is a little bit behind or you're watching the dub, you are destined to just be swamped with spoilers by people that completely forgot that crowd exists. It's just really annoying to deal with, especially for someone like me who tends to binge shows they're really enjoying. The last airing show I watched was Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai back in 2018 and have managed to avoid airing anime ever since.

All of that being said, a show must be pretty darn good for someone like me to break their avoidance streak. A dub must be really, really good for someone like me to watch it over the sub, despite the fact the sub has finished airing and the dub has not. SK8 The Infinity as a show definitely, so far, lives up to my decision, and the dub only makes it even better.

Watching the SK8 dub gave me a feeling I never thought I'd feel in anime again. Well, actually, it gave me multiple feelings I believed other anime couldn't give me anymore, which is why I have certain anime on my favorites in the first place. Watching the dub specifically brought me back to my first time watching Durarara. Yes, I watched the dub and, after having come back to rewatch the sub with my partner, to me, it simply doesn't compare. The dub of that show completely entranced me. Every voice actor played their character wonderfully and in such an interesting way, even for the characters I disliked, their performance was unforgettable to me. Not to mention all the added humor that just made it all the more enjoyable, some of the jokes completely void in the sub or without the same kick. The dub performances will always be the way I see the characters, they're iconic.

Watching the first episode of the SK8 Infinity dub made me feel the same way. I was immediately drawn in by the way each voice actor played their characters, they did such a great job at portraying them in such a unique way. Not to mention the nuanced emotions shown at the beginning, which is only built on in later episodes in such a gut-wrenching way. Then, just like Durarara, there's the humor. I wasn't aware until some people pointed it out to me, but some of the funniest lines aren't in the sub or simply aren't delivered as hilariously. It's amazing how a few word changes and delivery can really make a joke all the more better, or Hell, add an extra layer entirely. However, that's not the only layer the dub adds. Let's just say the viewers weren't the only ones that support renga and matchablossom and it really shows in the best ways.

That being said, the dub voice actors still need a good script and characters to work off of, and this show provides that in spades. All the characters feel entertaining, rich, and I found myself wanting to learn a lot about all of them. All the characters have so much charm and I think the dub really highlights that. As for the story, the relationships and the dramas showcased don't ever feel one-note or neglected. The drama and conflict of the story constantly had me thrilled rather than rolling my eyes, which is thanks to the way the races are presented (more on that later) and all the emotional investment the characters put into it. It also follows my favorite trope of biting off more than you can chew and getting caught up in something much bigger than yourself, so maybe I'm biased.

SK8 The Infinity also has that certain element I think other sports anime are missing. It's what Yuri!!! On Ice had, focusing a lot more on making each performance theatrical, entrancing, with a focus on the character's passion and drive over realism. I want the characters to win not for the sake of winning, but because they put a part of themselves into each performance. It's not that other sports anime doesn't try to do the same, but I tend to either struggle with getting invested in the characters, winning is way too emphasized overall, or the way the sport is showcased is just dull to me. Yes, half of the things the skaters do in this anime are unrealistic, but that's what makes it so fun and unpredictable. I adore seeing the stunts the characters, especially Langa and Adam, pull. They're amazing and the way they're animated are so cool! In my opinion, this is a great example of "action" done "fun". All the characters are pulling out their greatest stunts to win, only getting better and better as time goes on. Still, as an audience member, you don't feel as if anything is artificially being held back from you, the characters are always giving their all, they simply learn or have different opportunities as time goes on. This is probably one of the reasons that Langa becoming too good at the sport so quickly didn't bother me. He's awesome to watch, that and the fact the snowboarding excuse makes sense to me, plus it makes for such an interesting plot point and character conflict. The way the races are portrayed, along with the deep connections of the characters that play into it reminds me of Yuri!!! On Ice a lot.

The last point I want to make is what great main characters Reki and Langa make. Reki is such a relatable character main character and is written really well in this regard. He's insecure without being a brat about it, when he does break down or get upset with the other characters it's completely reasonable. His struggles of not feeling good enough, of allowing himself to be bullied due to a lack of self-worth, among other things, are something a lot of us struggle with. It's been great seeing him go along his journey and finally find support in Langa. Speaking of Langa, apparently, he and Reki were made together (and for each other if you ask me), and it really shows. Langa juxtaposes Reki, yet isn't his complete opposite, nor a rival. In fact, their friendship is not only because of their common ground of loneliness and socialization issues, but also because of their differences and how that makes them work as a team. Unlike Reki, who comes off as very turbulent and cautious at times, Langa can come off as quite confident (with skateboarding) and adores taking risks. Reki effectively serves as Langa's breaks and the voice of reason, while Langa helps Reki come out of his shell and learn to trust. I just love these two together, can you tell?

To summarize, SK8 The Infinity is great, especially the dub. The writing does have some hiccups later down the line that I will discuss in my final review. For now, though, I am rating this really high and am going to finish it. I feel like, no matter how it ends, this is going to become one of my favorites.

Current Rating: 8/10

~ SuddenCoffeeMug ☕

[mikkachu8888]

A/N: Disclaimer for eating disorder. If you are sensitive to the topic then please be warned. I know there are different kinds and different ways people feel about them. This is just my rendition in this story.

His voice was irritating me. I keep my face neutral as I look at my boyfriend across the table. My hand grips the fork just a little harder as I stab the utensil into the food for the umpteenth time already. I didn't understand why it was annoying me, it just was. I don't even understand why he's talking so much today. That's a lie. I do understand why. It's one of those stupid coping tricks they teach you in therapy in order to help distract you. That's probably why it's annoying me. I know he's only talking to me this much because he's noticed my struggle. He's attempting to distract me so I can finish my meal. He's already done with his food. He's been done with his food for 45 minutes now and I've barely made it halfway. Nonetheless he acts like he doesn't mind the slow pace and continues to talk away about his time with the boys at training practice today.

I look back down at my food. My lips flatten into a line and inhale deeply. I sigh. Yoongi notices the light sound and he momentarily pauses and glances over at me. He continues his story.

"I know I'm not the best dancer, but I wish they would stop putting me next to hoseok because he makes me look worse. I don't how he can get his hips to-"

"Yoongi… please shut up." I whisper, not even looking up at him.

He makes a small uncertain noise of surprise, but closes his mouth anyway. He didn't take it personally. At this point he watches me silently. I continue to take small bites of my food.

I hear him sigh and I glance up at him. He’s making that face again. That face like he wants to say something, but holds back. I decide to ignore it and stare back down at my food. I’ve made it a little over half way now and I can’t stand to see the white porcelain peeking out from underneath the meal. 

My stomach feels extended and it makes me feel sick. It makes me nervous and tense. I know it’s irrational. I know my mind is confused and I just need to focus on what they taught me in recovery. I don’t know how many times Yoongi came with me to therapy. He sat through the long drawn out therapy groups that talked about how eating disorders make our minds think, what behaviors to look out for and how to support us, even if it didn’t all make sense to him. In fact, some of it actually sounded downright ridiculous to him. Yoongi, himself, actually didn’t even eat much and worked mostly,  so he found it a little bit of a burden to have to find time in his schedule to sit down and eat with me and keep me accountable… but he did it anyway because he loved me and wanted to support me. I told him that I could find someone else to eat with if his schedule was too much, but he always made time. His only response being “I need to go back to my roots of eating at a table with my family anyway. Quality time is important and the boys are always telling me I need to eat more, anyhow.” I’ve been in recovery for my eating disorder for 4 months 2 weeks 2 days 13 hours and 36 minutes. It seems like every minute that I have to battle my own mind and suck it up is a struggle. It almost seems like a sick game. How long can I go without hiding food or sticking my fingers down my throat? How long can I go before I screw up and I'm dumped back under constant 24/7 supervision and someone has to follow me to the bathroom? How long can I go until I fail? They keep telling me that everything will be better once I get into a routine and my body gets used to food again, but I don’t think I can make it that far. I feel like I'm spiraling out of control. I feel like everyone else is in control of a life that should  be mine. It should be only mine and no one should be able to tell me how to live my life or what I can and can’t do to my body.

“(Y/N)...” Yoongi’s voice breaks me from my vicious thoughts. Apparently I was sitting frozen with my fork floating just before my mouth and my eyes dazed off into the distance. My eyes snapped to Yoongi across the table. He’s staring at me with a concerned look. “You’re crying.” he says gently. It was only then did I notice the cold wet feeling on my cheeks. I momentarily stayed frozen in my position keeping my wild gaze on Yoongi. Then I gently sit up straighter and gently set my fork down making it clink onto the plate. I press my lips firmly together as I stare back at him. My hand clenched tightly into a fist and my nails dug into my palm. Yoongi’s concerned face morphs into one of determination. It was almost like he could read my mind. Like he knew what I felt like doing. His eyes narrow slightly and he speaks firmly.

“ Don’t.”

There was silence. I stared at him and he stared back at me. It’s like all noise was muted out and there was only thick, tense, silence. I panicked.

Then I bolted. I pushed my chair with such quickness that it caused a burst of air to push my hair forward. The chair screeched across the floor and left black skid marks across the floor. The force of my body caused my plate of food to knock on the floor and the table to push roughly against Yoongi’s stomach. The air was momentarily knocked out of him and I was able to use that moment to make my escape from the table and take off. It was a second and only a second before Yoongi had recovered, shot up from the table, and took off after me. He was fast, much faster than you thought he would be, but then you remembered that he was much more physically active than I was. He undergoes intense practice and physical activity everyday from his role of being an idol, not to mention he used to play basketball for fun anyway. Of course he was faster than me.

As I ran I attempted to knock things over or throw things in the way of his path to slow him down. It’s not like it did much because before I knew it he had tackled me to the ground just before I could even place my hand on the doorknob of the bathroom door. We both fall to the floor with a loud thud and Yoongi immediately wraps his arms around me tightly. It wasn’t enough to hurt me, but it was enough where I couldn't even move. You could see the muscles in his usual slender arms bulging from restraining me so firmly. I immediately threw a tantrum. I started kicking and screaming and tried to head butt him. I demanded he let me go, I cursed at him, I even threatened to break up with him., but all of that fell on deaf ears. He wasn’t listening to what I was saying. He didn’t even care. He just continued to silently restrain me as I screamed and got all of my emotions out. 

Eventually after 20 minutes I gave up. I turned on my side and covered my face. I cried, no, I sobbed. I didn’t fight him anymore and his grip on me slowly loosened. I didn’t bother moving. I just wanted to be left alone at that point. I stayed on the floor and cried like a pitiful child. I am a grown adult and I’m crying like a child. I want to crawl in a whole and not be seen. I can’t even stand to look at Yoongi. I’ve never behaved this way in front of him before and that only fueled how mortified I felt. I immediately began to hate myself. More than I already did. I feel like I've failed restraint and use of coping skills. Even though I was restrained I feel like I mentally relapsed anyway. I feel like I've failed.

I feel an arm going around my waist. Yoongi had laid down next to me on the floor and pulled me close to him. His face was resting on my shoulder in the crook of my neck and he kissed the skin softly. He rubbed my arm softly. He wasn’t pulling away or disgusted with my behavior.

“Did I hurt you at all?” he asked quietly.

“N-no..” I say slightly hiccuping

“I’m sorry.” he said. Why was he apologizing. It was supposed to be me who should be apologizing. I was so rude to him and I could have hurt him because I was being selfish and couldn’t control my urges.

“W-why?” I ask, glancing at him.

“Because I can’t help you… and I want to… so bad. I… I just want you to get better.” He says, his voice straining. He holds me tighter to comfort himself, not me. I didn’t know what to say. I had no clue to respond to him. I also had no idea how much my behaviour had an emotional impact on my usually emotionally passive boyfriend. I shifted our positions on the floor where I turned onto my back and looked up at him. He wasn’t fully crying, but his eyes were teary. 

“I love you.” I told him and he gave a breathy chuckle and smiled slightly. He gave me a kiss. 

“I love you too.” he said with our news still touching. He moved beside me on the floor and I laid my head on his chest. I think at this point we were both too emotionally exhausted and didn’t bother getting up.

“We'll get through this. Believe me.” he said with an assertive tone. I bit my lip.

“Okay.” I whispered back. After a moment of silence he pulled out earbuds and his phone from his pocket. He sticks one earbud in my ear and the other in his. He starts playing music softly and I immediately felt calmer. I let out a deep relaxing sigh and I could feel the tense muscles in my body finally unravel and relax. The music with the steady beat of Yoongi’s heart was just what I needed to calm down. With moments like this then perhaps I could get through all of this and go onto long term recovery. I believe after a moment like this I won't feel so alone on tackling this on my own. It was after a few songs that yoongi spoke with the most impacting and passionate voice he ever mustered. It almost seemed like he spoke this with more passion than the first time he told me he loved me.

“I won’t let you die.”

[mxjan]

A slight hiccup

So me and my bf are having a sleepover, yeah? Snuggles in bed and stuff like that. He's in his underwear and I'm wearing his pants. This is a few days away from our 6 month anniversary btw. So we're laying in bed and his mom knocks on the door. She doesn't know I'm here and he jumps up. He opens the door and his mom asks "Why's the window open?" There is a fan in the window for better airflow and that's really the only reason. She comes in and looks at the window. Let me describe his room. You walk in and about 2 feet forward is the end of his closet. It kinda looks like the end of a hallway but it's part of the room. You look right and a few feet away is the bed with half of the window visible. Look to the left and you see where his ferret (Rainbow) lives and the entrance to the closet I've slept in multiple times. There's this tapestry between the ferret prison and the bed that he put up so that I don't get seen during sleepovers. His mom tries to go over to the window and my bf stops her and says "Don't go over there" his mom get very confused and rather angry because her son (Who has dealt with her bullshit far more than I ever could've) just told her what to do. She says "Why not?" And this guy goes "I don't want you to see what's on my bed." I swear I could hear him regret those words as soon as he said them. This conversation is a little drawn out so I'll try to sum it up. He says that his bed is covered in sex toys (Which wasn't a complete lie cause I'm a hoe) and his mom gets upset because it's like 6 pm and his window is wide open. Right now I'm thinking "Oh shit this guy is about to get me killed! She's gonna pull a Beretta out of her goddamn boot and fucking one tap my ass!!!" His mom then says the 3 words that makes me know I'm absolutely fucking dead. The room goes dead silent. All I hear is "I'm. Not. Leaving." Slowly 2 figures appear from behind the tapestry. My bf. And his mother. She thought we were having sex (we weren't) and I swear you have not lived until a 5' bisexual Native American woman covered in tattoos threatens you.

[those70scomics]

when did you start making that 70s show comics? how did the idea start? (sorry if you've been asked this before -- i don't think i've ever seen a "back story"! :))

I started drawing the comics February 2010 . I originally posted the first ones on the That ‘70s Show board at Fan Forum in March 2010.

I’d always drawn comic strips of one sort or another (original, not fandom, and not digital except for inking and coloring). But then I read iharthdarth, an hilarious comic strip about Star Wars, and I wanted to find a fandom I could be passionate enough about to do something similar for.

I fell back in love with That ‘70s Show in 2009. I joined the T7S message board early 2010, and I came up with the idea for this comic. It was silly enough, and I originally approached the comics a satire of the show, like iharthdarth is a loving satire of Star Wars.

But my writer brain took over, and the comics evolved into something more resembling a graphic novel that expands and deepens (and corrects) the show’s characterization and storylines as well as satirizing certain things (and adding in some surreal elements, like Hyde hiccuping rainbows whenever he’s Jackie-happy).

I wanted the process of drawing the comics to be as efficient as possible. Drawing them on paper with my usual cartoony style would take forever (including scanning, digital inking, etc.), so I decided to try my hand at pixel art. That way, the sets were, er, set. I could plunk the character down on them like Colorforms. 

In the seven years I’ve been drawing the comics, I’ve gotten better at it. I originally intended to make only 100 comics, so I didn’t bother to give most of the characters arms or profiles or to put them in the outfits they were in each episode. When the characters spoke to one another, they looked toward “the camera” instead at one another. The dialogue/text boxes were a total mess.

But now all the characters have arms and profiles (and some even have three-quarter views). I draw each outfit each character wears per ep (and that can be a lot). I continue to work on improving the art. The dialogue/text boxes are uniform. Some backgrounds take me two hours to draw.

And the writing … I originally drew one or two comics per episode. Some of the early eps didn’t get any comics. But now the upcoming episode “Who Are You” (6x15) has the most comics I’ve drawn for an episode: ninety-one.

Yeah, the show’s version of that ep needed a helluva lot of work and changes to make fit long-established characterization and to create satisfying character development.