#I feel like I should for culture reasons

[iconsumethesoulsofthedamned]

I kinda want to read paragon because it’s so famous but I’m entirely sure it’s gonna be the worst case of mischaracterization I’ve ever seen and that scares me to death.

[thattheater-kid]

Aplatonic culture is…

Spending a lot of time in trouble as a kid because you’d tell people you didn’t want to be their friend, and apparently that isn’t very nice, even though you didn’t mean it to be mean, it’s just how you felt

Being sent to counselors because you were always alone and said you didn’t want any friends/you didn’t need friends/you didn’t like people/there were more important things

Kids thinking you were stuck up and mean because you weren’t friendly

Never making a friend on your own, and just being taken in by people who decided they wanted to be your friend/meeting people through your friends (the ones you befriended because they decided you were friends now, not because you had a desire to befriend them)

Never meeting a person and wanting to be friends with them

Being alone and being okay with that because you don’t feel the need to have friends

Having friends that you enjoy being around, but not missing them much when you’re away

“Friend is a strong word”

“I suppose we’re friends”

[mishkakagehishka]

I love instagram

[thottybrucewayne]

I may not agree with Leiomy on a lot of things but I think she was right in what she said about the commodification of ballroom and I don't think her participating in that commodification makes what she's said invalid.

[sweetpaintedladie]

i can’t explain why but this makes me ill

[undercat-overdog]

I’ve been thinking recently about all the comment culture discussions and the recent talk around authors’ archive-locking their fic and one of the things that bothers me is how I never really see those discussions centered around the author. The comment conversations are a mix of reasons why readers don’t comment, how to comment, and why comments are good, but I’m not sure I’ve seen something that centers the author as person. Instead it’s the broader community and its desire for “content” that’s centered: comments are good because they keep authors writing (which is, I think, broadly true though people vary in the particulars), but it’s hard to comment (also broadly true, also varies in the particulars), but lack of feedback means some authors stop writing (also also true). The goal seems to be to keep the fic flowing.

And no one is owed comments and no one is owed fic and if it’s harmful to your mental health to comment, or harmful to your mental health to keep your fic online, that’s far more important. Please, don’t take me as saying that you need to comment or that you need to keep making fic available. Reader and/or author, what is best for you comes first; what you are able to do or want to do comes first.

(As for the talk about how authors are bad for archive-locking fic and that they should be shamed and scolded for doing so? No sympathy. I have less than zero patience for that argument. It’s more than fine to feel sad or grieved that you have lost a story you loved or can no longer access it - it is sad! It’s why I download stories now. But an author can do as they wish with their creations; no one is owed fic.)

But none of this gets at the author as person. These discussions seem to return to the personal reasons why a reader wouldn’t comment and how the author as content producer is more likely to write if they get feedback, the goal to get people to comment so fic continues to be produced: put money in the vending machine so you can get a snack. But I think at least some of authorial angst is driven less by comments per se and more by the desire to be recognized and feel seen as people and not fic-producing machines. Authors have anxiety too. Oh, do some of us have anxiety!

To use me as an example, since I’m the only person I truly know: I have almost deleted fic or moved it to an unrevealed collection multiple times because of anxiety that is tied to feels of either not being seen or being seen and intentionally ignored; I almost did so yesterday. It hurts to be ignored, especially when you know that your fic was read and seen but ignored. And that would be one thing - no one’s required to like my work or my friends’ works but to pretend your story is unique when you’re clearly very, very influenced by those works to the point of rewriting dialogue and using the same plot points with the same plot items. It makes me as a person feel ignored and it is currently killing my motivation to write, because at times I am a fainting flower. (To be very clear, my reaction is me, and no one owes me feedback or whatever, or to listen to my navel-gazing.) And I don’t like when my friends and fellow authors are seen then ignored either: that very much makes me angry. But yes, anxiety. It's easy to feel invisible or to feel like you're not worth recognizing.

I do want to note that there are circumstances in which acknowledgement and recognition is owed. If you take direct inspiration from someone’s plot, or rewrite it, that needs to be acknowledged, and it bothers me when it’s not: it feels like being used. Likewise, one place readers do have an obligation to comment, barring extenuating circumstances, is if they are given a gift fic as part of an exchange or event that they signed up for.

So idk. I guess what I’m saying is that I often feel that people don’t see that there’s a person behind the ao3 author’s name and that person’s not recognized. It might be that which stings the most.

(While I used  “author” throughout, this applies to all people in fandom who create and share their works. I am an author, so that’s the perspective I’m speaking from, but there are many creative perspectives that are no less important. And of course, “writer” and “reader” are not exclusive categories and I’d guess that most of the former are also the latter. Likewise “artist” isn’t exclusive, nor “podcaster” or so on.)

One last point: I’m not sure it’s talked about how long it can take to write something? I’d guess that most of my one-shots have taken at least two or three dozen hours to write/edit/post and I’d say I’m probably of average speed (when I’m writing lol). For most authors, writing’s not quick; 5k isn’t dashed off in an afternoon but might take 40+ hours. It’s a labor and for most of us it takes time.

[pansyfemme]

the truth is im not sure if any other towns with ivy leagues in them tend to have the hatred and resentment for the school that ppl from new haven often have for yale. id love to just sit down and chat with someone from another ivy league town bc like. is it just the combo of a school full of very rich prep school kids in one of the poorest areas in the state where our public schools literally does not have the funding or curriculum for a lot of students to qualify for the college in their own fucking town or is this a wider issue in other places

[maryoliverdotcom]

thinking about how i love murakami’s writing & narrative style, the way he subtly catches the reader’s attention etc etc & and at the same time despise the way he writes women & sex scenes. thinking about how i’m starting to appreciate him while hating the misogyny in his writing, & simultaneously recognising how his culture & upbringing played a major role in forming his misogynistic views & also understanding that he's a man before he's a writer &c &c........

[bytebun]

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with enjoying particular types of art more than others, but the knee jerk disdain people have towards modern art is disappointing…

I think u have to be ok with not connecting to everything that u see. That’s just fine. Art is like food and there’s going to be some stuff that just doesn’t work for u regardless of if it’s objectively well done or not. There’s a flavour of anti-intellectualism and inferiority complex that seems to accompany ppls hatred of modern art, this discomfort that they “don’t get it” when that’s like. Actually fine. Some stuff u will appreciate once u learn context and others, regardless… u just won’t! I still hate beans & legumes

That being said I also have friends who would rather order the same mac & cheese at a restaurant every single time than risk getting something they won’t enjoy — or won’t enjoy as much. But art costs u very little to try in comparison, so why not try it?

[selvepnea]

Been thinking about my body a lot

[blujayonthewing]

more dnd and adjacent media should be run and written by people who think dwarves and elves are boring but care very sincerely about halflings and gnomes

[iwantyoursexmp3]

me trying to actually introduce the felix thread into lover boy but it gets hijacked by a bobby memory perfect metaphor for the entire history of this project. throwback to when lover boy was meant to just be the beau and felix romance……LOL!

[here-there-were-dragons]

as a general rule, on average, if americans consistently complain about a food being conceptually weird, gross, and scary, then it probably tastes amazing. or at least inoffensive.

this is because in my experience americans for the most part (give or take a few exceptions by region) think eating literally anything other than beef, chicken, bread, eggs, peanut butter jelly sandwitches, ketchup, and disgusting cloyingly artificial brown sludge soda is insurmountably weird, gross, and scary.

[justinefrischmanngf]

i need to get over myself and learn the languages i want to learn if i want to learn them like i just need to do it if i want to learn them then i should go out and learn them and like . fuck whatever else any of it means . yes it IS embarrassing to learn a language like the ones i want to learn as an adult but who CARES and yes i KNOW my grandparents will never want to speak to me in those languages but who CARES if it's important to me it can be important to me anyway

[blue-jester]

eugh I hate how the internet has made certain things seem taboo to talk about in art when people have been doing it for centuries

[sinnamonstache]

Just lost my job.. so I wanna try to get back into drawing.

However I’m.. not exactly comfortable picking up where I left off? I’ve changed a bit, mentally, and like. My interests aren’t very different, but…. I don’t think I can stomach making the same content I did before. I don’t know that I want it to attached to whatever I do going forward, either. I want to get more into OCs and stuff, if possible.

That said.. I know some of y’all really wanted that old art back. So I’m weighing my options…

I’ve considered making some kind of archive, but idk how to.. twitter frustrates me and feels far too public, given the subject-matter 😔 I may use it going forward but it doesn’t feel like the right place for my old works

I may just re-start with a new username and let this one lie...?