#I felt bad djsjsks

[hellsbroadcaster]

Tell me why I come home to find Alastor buried in my clothes 😭😭😭

[my-toh-theories-2]

So, so, so sorry in advance but this is gonna be a DUMB long post as I have So Many Thoughts that led into So Many Different Tangents but, some Belos, Caleb and his partner thoughts!!! Just the past for right now. This post was originally going to be about both the past and where I think TOH will go from there but honestly, I've been working on this stupid fucking post since early June. Idk why but I just keep hitting writing blocks writing about the future. I think it'd just be best to crank this one out now and hopefully some feedback will help me write about the future. Also I REALLY wanna get this out before S3 comes out djsjsk

Oh, and disclaimer. When talking about past Philip am I in no way trying to excuse any of the shit he pulled as Belos. Lmao no. Fuck him. This man lived for 300+ years and still didn't learn that genocide, colonization, bigotry, abuse, murder, etc. is bad, actually. He is a grown ass man capable of making his own choices and he chose to do this. To be like this. Only he and he alone is complicit in his own damnation and I hope he gets hit by a fucking truck lmao 

Anyways, onto the post!! 

Ok firstly just getting this out of the way, no, I don't think Caleb is inherently good and that Belos was just born evil (like look at child him in Hollow Mind his aura was purple before it became red). I think they're both just: people, who did both good and bad things. Just, were, y'know? What separates them I think is choice and the ability to change. When Caleb learned that witch hunting was actually wrong he chose to not want to become a witch hunter and changed for the better. When Philip learned it was wrong he chose to double down on his bigoted beliefs (well I think it's a bit more complex than that but I'll talk about it later lmao). They were just, both people, both kids, that came from the same fucked up environment. It's what they chose to do after they learned the truth and left that environment that differentiates them. 

Ok so, onto their childhood in the Human Realm. Something right off the bat that strikes me is how just, alone the two are. 

Sure they're having fun but it's just them. The only other people we see are just silhouettes in the background. We don't even see their parents!! Where are they? Hello??? I do think like Eda and Lilith they were each other's only friends. Also personal lil’ head cannon but I do think some parentification happened on Caleb's part and he was forced to act as a parental figure to Philip due to their parent's absence/neglect. Like, they're both figuratively and literally out of these pictures!!! This isn't even touching on the religious trauma these two most definitely have (lmaoo like look at Belos). God these kids came from such a fucked up home.

Also I think how the Emperor's Coven operates gives us a good picture on what their home life was like. Like look at this man that religious trauma had to have come from somewhere lol. In all seriousness tho Belos does have a major theme of the cycle of abuse (esp with the grimwalkers). Sometimes, when the cycle continues the abused turned abuser does so as a way to reclaim power. I feel small so I'm going to make you feel even smaller. Remember how he used his curse goo to make himself MASSIVE in Young Blood Old Souls? He is both figuratively and literally making himself bigger. To reclaim that power. He made Luz KNEEL before him. Made everyone else smaller.

I also noticed that sometimes when he does something horrible it looks just so goddamn cathartic to him. Like he's scratching some very deep wounds.

Ok back to their childhood djsjsks (I told you there were gonna be So Many Tangents fjskssk). But, now looking at the Gravesfeild crest: I think it gives us a pretty good look at how they felt about Gravesfeild/how they were perceived by their town. There are 3 variations in show. The golden guard crest which is just a bird in an outline that looks like a bird cage (like all it's missing is bars and the loop at top to hang it), Philip’s version that just has the wings under it no bird up top on his explorer jacket and the one in Gravesfeild that has both.

Considering that the version without wings is worn by Hunter and was the old Golden Guard sigil I think it's safe to say that Caleb is the bird in the bird cage. Philip also has a wing motif as Belos seen with his staff, coven sigil and rebuilt portal so yeah he's the wings. I do think the both of them didn't fit in in Gravesfeild but Caleb in particular really felt like he didn't fit in/belong there. Which, now that I think about it, yeah, makes sense. This kid is so happy go lucky and looks like he'd sob if he accidentally stepped on a bird lol. His name, Caleb, means wholehearted too. (It could also mean dog idk every website I looked at kept contradicting each other saying “oh it’s wholehearted,” “NO it actually means DOG the other website was wrong,” “ACTUALLY-” DJFJFJ. I digress lol. I’m just gonna view it as both sdkfsj.) Anyways, he really just doesn't look like witch hunting material. On the other hand I don't think Philip (and Belos now) feels the same way as his adventuring outfit does have a simplified logo of the crest on his jacket only without the bird (Caleb) in the bird cage. But that doesn't change the fact that the pair of wings are still under the birdcage... he was just as trapped as Caleb. Imo Philip gives me the vibes of someone who doesn’t fit into society in one way or another yet desperately wants to.

Now one last tidbit about their childhood before I move on to them entering the demon realm. Philip and Belos are shown in show to be ambidextrous but left-hand dominant. And, in childhood is shown only using his right hand. Considering his time period... yeah they forced this kid to be right-handed didn’t they? And considering how the left hand was believed to be the “devil’s hand” or smthing I wouldn’t be surprised if he developed a lot of self loathing and self hatred from that that would then, to him, be later used to justify his horrible actions. “I’m already an evil sinner for being left handed so why even try be good? There’s no point.” A very nasty self fulfilling prophecy. Idk Just a thought.

Also I think it's super interesting how Belos has a bird motif but only as wings. Never an actual bird of his own. Nor does he fully become left-handed. He never really fully self actualized nor healed huh. Which, yeah Hollow Mind basically confirmed that with inner kid Belos. The guy was crying alone when we first met him. Plus that painting of adult him post fratricide wearing his childhood mask Caleb made of him. He really is just a giant man child huh? 

Ok now onto them entering the demon realm. Firstly, I do think they were "lured in by a real witch." It's both what the historical account says and what Philip's own memories show. Only Philip's journal says otherwise and well, we know he lied a FUCK TON in that journal I wouldn't really trust anything he says in that unless shown otherwise (and I'm not really gonna rely on that for this post). Also Philip’s journal explanation of how he got there reeks of bullshit.

“After 5 years I have finally found it. A power source so potent it can pierce through realms: Titan’s blood. There are old tales of lakes reflecting green trees and blue skies. The Titan’s veins run through the land and many believe these wild portals are made when a little of it’s blood leaks into the water. That is how I came here, so that is the first place I shall look. I will journey back to Eclipse Lake.” Belos, Eclipse Lake

So you’re telling me that you came through a wild portal and only NOW after trying to make a portal door for 5 YEARS you just thought to look into wild portals???? Only NOW?????? Dude if someone got isekai-ed to the demon realm through a wild portal and wanted to get back home they would IMEDITALLY look into wild portals to figure out how they worked to get back home. You’re telling me you only thought to look into these wild portals NOW?????? AFTER 5 YEARS????? Yeah no I’m calling bullshit.

Ok, lil’ side rant tangent done. But, I do think the memories are biased from Philip's perspective and I don't think that's quite how it went down. Mindscapes do reflect the individual after all. Anyways, there looks to be 2 paintings of the event and the historical depictions in Yesterday’s Lie.

This, what I think is most likely right before them entering the demon realm, and them being “lured in by a witch.” It’s honestly interesting how Caleb is framed from Philip’s perspective; it's like he’s on “his side” one minute then “on the side of the witches,” the next. Choosing them over him. This encounter in both the historical account and in Philip’s memories is framed as a deal with the devil of sorts. A temptation of sin. A corruption of Caleb.

But, I don’t think that fast “switch” is what happened for Caleb. That’s not how it happens for ex-cult members/deradicalization. It’s a very long process. And within the historical account he’s pretty friendly with the witch, shaking their hand and he already has Flapjack on his shoulder. Going off of this he could’ve already been “on their side” for years at this point. This day is just the first time Philip found out about it. Which is why he’s on “his side” one minute and then “the witches side” the next.

When Luz first enters the Demon Realm not really of her own choice, her Azura book is almost burned by Eda. Mirroring Philip's journal almost being burned in Elsewhere and Elsewhen. However, when Luz chooses to stay at the end of the episode, the eye from “Del's tower” blinks. The first and only time it's done that.

Anyways, when they enter the demon realm Caleb looks 18/19 and Philip looks mid-teens. And then there's just a huge time skip to young adult Philip traveling the Boiling Isles?? Girl what happened during that time period??? Well, I'd like to propose an idea. 

A while back I made a speculative post wondering that, hey, considering that this show loves to do parallels what if the Wittebane brothers were once in a trio similar to our modern day trio of Eda, King and Luz? Caleb is Luz, Philip is King and that "witch that lured them in" is Eda. Belos already feels like a worse case scenario of King. And well, since then we learned more (like Luz really parallels Caleb now) + we know this hole in time exists, yeah l really think this is what happened lol.

Starting off with Philip again he does feel like he’s a worst case senario of King. Mainly season 1 King. Like this man became an actual tyrant. It’s like he never got his own Echoes of The Past moment (or he could’ve and it just never stuck). 

They’re both little guys with big Napoleon complexes that want to be taken seriously. They crave power, have main character syndrome and treat people like minions (with Philip specifically treating others like NPCs). Season 1 King had this King of Demons fantasy and a lot of his own self worth was tied up into this story. Which hey, sounds a lot like a certain someone’s journal.

Imo I think his own fantasy was a “chosen one” fantasy. There’s a lot of little references to him in Witches Before Wizards. Luz’s toy sword’s hilt has a crown on top like the Emperor’s sigil, the chosen one map has a bunch of lil’ suns on it (as Belos he has a sun motif seen in propaganda paintings I’d show them but posts have a 30 pic post limit sflakjzjk), and Azura shares a lot of design similarities with Belos. 

They also share possessiveness and a fear of being abandoned. Remember when King shrunk down Willow and Gus due to his jealousy and possessiveness of Luz in Really Small Problems? When they all get shrunk down and Tibbles throw them into the tent of tiny terrors they (and by they I mean more specifically King) have to fight against horses with blue eyes. (If you didn't know the name Philip means friend of horses which yeah, that's pretty self explanatory).

As much as I just harped on him (I mean it's very easy and fun to bully this senior citizen) I do actually think this lil trio did him some good. Remember my whole spiel about the wings? I personally think it came from here. Whether he was actually putting in the effort or it was better, not abusive, environment + Caleb, like Luz, bringing the best out of everyone I'm unsure. Could be both. I do 100% think Caleb brought out the best in Philip and that's why he went downhill fast without him.

With Caleb while yeah he def parallels Luz by falling in love with a witch but I also think they parallel in spirit, falling in love with the demon realm + wanting to stay and in their affinity for magic. Like, Belos straight up tells Luz, "I like your spirit," in Young Blood Old Souls dhsnsj yeah.

In terms of magic remember this man made Flapjack. Which is, y’know, a right of passage for a witch. Also this is a show about witches, demons and magic with the main villain being a puritanical 1600s witch hunter. So his brother both falling in love with a witch and becoming one is very fitting lol.

Bit of a tangent but I wanna talk about what kind of magic he practiced cuz I think I cracked it lol. It definitely wasn't glyphs cuz Belos had to learn that on his own (and remember had a very difficult time with it it took him years to find those glyphs). Knowing Caleb he probably would've just, shared that knowledge with his brother. I think he practiced elemental magic instead. And I don't think it's a coincidence that the first time we heard of it being a thing is when Hunter mentioned it in Hunting Palismen. 

When Hunter fights with Flapjack in Eclipse Lake the attacks he used is elemental in nature. Lighting bolt shower (fire), a stone fist (earth) and his teleportation which feels very electric. Tying it back to that lighting bolt shower. But Belos never really uses any spells like that just sticking to glyphs (except that one time he moved rock in Young Blood; Old Souls but remember with the right combination you can cast anything). This... has some interesting implications. Firstly, we know magic is a gift from the isles. The Titan will tell it to you, you just gotta listen. So, if I'm right about Caleb practicing elemental magic, why show that to Caleb and not to either Philip or Luz? And why doesn't Belos use it? He does want to definitely wants to look at these unfinished glyph combos in Them’s The Breaks, Kid. They’re all elemental in nature...

Windy is air, the water fountain is water, petrification is stone. There isn't a fire one cuz it already exists in glyph form. The envy here is pulpable lol

Also remember how Philip called glyphs picto-glyphs in Elsewhere and Elsewhen? If you look into the etymology of the word picto it derives from Latin, meaning panting/to paint. On the contrary we know spoken spells are a thing and thanks to Hooty's Moving Castle we know a human too can cast a spoken spell. Mabye it's a language barrier? That's why the Titan only showed Caleb elemental magic to stop Philip and showed Luz glyph magic cuz it's much eaiser to learn for a beginner compared to elemental magic? Just an idea but yeah. But I do think he practiced elemental magic tho. Elemental magic user Caleb truther.

Oh and one more Luz and Caleb parallel I wanna talk about. "You witches come up with the worst lies." Belos, Elsewhere and Elsewhen. Considering that he parallels both Luz and Eda (I will talk about the latter’s parallels soon) and that both have lied/withheld the truth in the past.... That line was also about Caleb wasn't it Philip? I mean the episode where we learned that Caleb existed was the same one where Luz told her mom the truth about where she’s actually been (Yesterday’s Lie) … Idk just wanted to put this here cuz this line has always stuck out to me as having a double meaning.

Again, hard to really write anything for their Eda but considering how she had that portal door for years and freely traveled back and forth for decades; I'd assume their version of Eda had their own door that later got destroyed (like how Eda's door got destroyed) trapping the Wittebane brothers in the demon realm.

Before we go back into the timeline I wanna go over their Clawthorne sisters parallels. Cuz yeah, it's pretty obvi they parallel them too (GOD this show loves doing parallels fjsksk). In Them’s The Breaks, Kid we actually learn that joining the Emperor’s Coven was more Lilith’s dream and Eda only tagged along because she didn’t want to be separated from Lilith. But, when she met Raine and learned how fucked up covens actually were thanks to Terra she realized that she that she could actually decide for herself. That joining the Emperor’s Coven wasn’t her only path in life she had options. And months later she made that choice. I think Caleb was the same way. 

Like yeah he’s having fun but he’s not looking up at the witch hunters in the same aspirational awe like Philip is. Again, I think Caleb was “on the witches’ side” before entering the demon realm. Unsure when this change began to happen for Caleb but I do think it was a process (I mean this kind of deradicalization is always a progress but I digress.)

After Eda made her choice the sisters then stopped talking: becoming foils to one another as well as ideologically opposing each other. Eda the free wild witch who refuses to join a coven vs Lilith the tamed and subdued Coven witch. A big S1 main plot point was Lilith trying to tame Eda and force her to join the Emperor’s Coven thinking that it’d be both for her good and that Belos would heal her.

Ngl I think this happened to the Wittebane brothers when they first entered the demon realm. Becoming foils and ideologically opposing each other. Specifically about their thoughts about the demon realm, magic and witches. Philip saw the demon realm as his fantasy world to conquer and colonize. Magic as dangerous (a LOT of his propaganda is about how magic/wild magic is dangerous. As bullshit as his propaganda is I do think there’s little nuggets of truths in said propaganda.) And witches as subhuman. Caleb however saw the demon realm as just another place that he eventually wanted to live in, magic as beautiful and witches as equals.

Now, back to the timeline and to when Philip's traveling the Demon Realm. Again, I'm taking the journal with a HUGE grain of salt and I'll mostly be focusing on the paintings but, looking at them I get the vibe that Philip traveled alone?

I wouldn’t put it past him to want to do his “hero’s journey” alone. But it could also just be him being egotistical again and making the story in his journal all about him. He also could’ve split from everyone else at some point before the fratricide. Eclipse Lake seems like a good point for him to do that. That is when he started growing a beard which symbolizes that a character isn’t doing too hot. Also during these travels is when he carved those glyphs into his skin and cursed himself… god he was Going Through It. I wouldn’t be surprised if this curse made him return back to and/or even doubled down on his childhood, witch hunting bigoted beleifs.

I also think Philip bottled up all of these negative feelings during this time too. Like, look at his expression when Caleb’s hugging/supporting Philip. He’s just, standing there; not allowing himself to accept this love and support with his curse. Not accepting help. And when you bottle up all of your emotions like that well... (heheh post foreshadowing).

Ok now onto Caleb cuz while his brother is off loosing his fucking mind he's off GETTING IT LMAOO. Anyways, these two. There's not much to go on cuz we don't know that much but I think that owl crest and Caleb's Alador connections can tell us some things. 

Oh also I do think they're Clawthorne ancestors. There's just so, so many little things tying the Wittebane brothers to the Clawthornes. How Eda and Hunter both say bye the same way (they also snort when they laugh), Eda's cloak has a little owl clasp that looks like Hunter's GG mask, Dell. Just, Dell fjsks. When Belos tries to flee back to the human realm after the Day of Unity his hair looks a bit like Eda's and Dell's. That reddit QNA where Dana said "bird themed houses are a Clawthorne thing." Fisksok there's more but I can't remember them all. But, you get my jist.

So something I’d like to start off with is all of Caleb’s Alador connections?? Same nose shape, same widows peak, they both had long hair in low ponytails before chopping it off. Also Alador’s Bonesborough brawl outfit had a lot of similarities to Caleb’s outfit. Why these connections? What do they mean? Off the bat I wondered if he and Wittewife were either parallels or foils to Alador and Odalia? I particularly lean more towards them being foils. Girlboss x malewife: healthy edition I guess? Also a while back round the end of S2 I speculated if Caleb made the Jean-Lucs and that “King’s castle” was just a Titan hatchery/daycare because of this connection (I mean it is something he could make without a bile sack lol. Stone + glyph abomination). Another potential foil.

But I think this connection could also mean something else. It could show us what it’d look like if Philip got his way. That Caleb instead just became Philip’s right hand man/side kick instead of wanting to choose his own life for himself and settling down with Wittewife. And what that’d specifically look like for Caleb too. Which is fucking miserable to say the least lol

Not much else to go off here cuz there’s so little to work with yeah. Also what this means for Wittewife and Odalia??? Too early to say lol. I’m gonna talk more about this in a bit but if they are foils then maybe a reverse Odalia? Instead of someone who claws her way to the top she was already on the top who then relinquished that privilege to live a more simple life? (I promise I am not pulling this out of my ass here there is some precedent here dsjsdkj).

Also I’d like to talk about Caleb’s Titan connections cuz there wow he Has Them? The first obvious one is the Titan death pose but they’re also both fathers and like the Titans, life too sprung from Caleb’s corpse (grimwalkers). 

Also the yellow sclarea and black pupil slit found on the portal door shows up fucking everywhere and is connected to the Titan’s via Eda’s wanted poster??? Like c’mon it’s most likely at this point that Caleb made this stupid fucking door (imo with Wittewife too cuz remember 2 people made the door) so that’s another connection??? Idk what any of this means just putting these observations on the table.

Almost forgot but when King was having his identity crisis in Knock Knock Knockin on Hooty's Door it happened in "Del's old tower." Which I'm pretty damn sure is the first and only time we're actually in that stupid tower.

Ok now, this thing. This thing shows up ALL the god damn time throughout the show. Only in Eda's home on her living room ceiling. But like seriously in rewatching episodes to write this stupid fucking post I realized how often this guy shows up. He also sometimes glows gold. This and all the little connections tieing the Wittebane brothers with the Clawthornes I think this guy was Caleb's and his partner's family crest that then became the Clawthorne family crest. Also, I have no basis for this, this is just my own dumb lil’ headcannon but I’d like to think they made the last name Clawthorne together. She’s the claw and he’s the thorne. They’re the start of the Clawthornes. Idk I just think it’s cute :3. Plus that’s how Belos would know that Eda and Lilith are descendants cuz it’s a name they made up so if someone has that last name, yeah, they’re most likely related. Remember he doesn’t eat both of their palismen and he’s pretty lenient with them whereas he’s much more cut throat with everyone else. So…

Ok back on track with this stupid fucking crest but something really interesting about it is it has a crown… why?? What??? This, led me down a fucking rabbit hole and I have SO many thoughts. Mayhaps a queen or something who then gave up her crown to live her life how she saw fit???? A reverse Odalia? (Also Odalia thought the day of unity would’ve made her family royalty and her a queen). I know that's a huge claim to make but hear me out.

Firstly there’s ruins on the knee that imply some grand/big structures and we see in Hollow Mind Belos destroying these now ruins. He is known to rewrite history and is the kind of petty bitch to completely erase her specifically from the history books. LMAO cope n sethe harder Bitchlos. However, let's look more closely at the ruins from Hollow Mind to Adventures In The Elements, from past to present.

That same archway with that dangling chain is in both past and present but if you look closely there is a big structure behind that archway in Hollow Mind that is now completely gone today… and Bill in Edge of The World called the Boiling Isles the “Carcass Kingdom '' instead of an Empire which is what it is now.

Also this. It's from the Owl pellets shorts from S1. It's a soap opera parody of a young, high class woman having to choose between a vain man who only wants her for the power she'd give him and a down to earth farm boy who actually loves her. That, Fucking Egg is wearing Caleb's outfit minus the shirt being white fjsjsk. Also those stupid fucking eyes are back GOD I think this is the smoking gun that show that yeah these eyes and Caleb are in some way connected fjsjsk.

Also this lol. “Little Prince...”

If I'm right and Wittewife was the queen who gave up her throne in some way I'm then in turn not insinuating that Caleb is now The True Good King or smthing. I really don't think TOH would go there. This is a fantasy show that breaks the fantasy genre. They're both just, people. And Caleb didn't fall in love with her because she is The Queen and wanted to be The King (like look at how he dresses he's pretty down to earth). He fell in love with Wittewife, not the queen. And they both just wanted to live a simple life together in the woods.

But I don't think that's how Philip saw it. He can't pull himself out of the fantasy. Out of his little power fantasy. And here's Caleb is who Stole His Dream. Absolute, pulpable envy.

Ok before we get onto the fratricide, the grimwalkers and what that all means I wanna talk about Belos for a bit. Specifically about why he became Belos. Again I don't think he was just born evil (nobody is). His child self's aura in his mindscape was purple after all. And in writing this post I think I finally get why he became Belos. He 1. can't accept help 2. he can't admit to fault and 3. aggrieved entitlement.

Firstly with being unable to accept help. I think his curse shows this off pretty well. Any and all offers of help from Hunter about his curse are quickly and violently shot down. And when Caleb supports Philip with his curse he doesn't even hug him back. He's just, standing there. Not allowing himself to be vulnerable and accept Caleb's love and support. Of course when you don't allow yourself to open up with your emotions well, things bottle up...

Secondly he can't admit to any faults. Think about the grimwalkers. It's always them betraying him. When in reality it sounds like they wanted to either leave or opposed him cuz they found out either about the other grimwalkers or more out about him. This motherfucker has SO many both metaphorical and LITERAL skeletons in his closet that when your average person finds out about them they OBVIOUSLY bail. Dude it’s you dsjhdj. You’re the problem. Incel-esque motherfucker.

"You know. Unfettered wild magic wiped out our family. Everyone knew too much and got themselves hurt." Hunter, Hollow Mind

“Not unless he stays on the right path. I tell him, “the Titan has big plans for you,” and he does what he’s told. Unlike the previous attempts.” Belos, Hollow Mind

Also think about how he acts when confronted with an angry Luz and Lilith after he just tried sacrificing them in Elsewhere and Elsewhen. This man just casually brushes off their rightful anger about him almost killing them. And, after they demand info from him he has the GAUL to say that they need to further work for him before he’ll give that info. Then he goes full mask off with a childish temper tantrum in his little cuck no bitches cave after Lilith decked him. “Those barbarian witches!” DUDE!! Lilith baby girl PLEASE punch him again I am BEGGING YOU.

And finally, Aggrieved entitlement. God I love this word and I'm so glad I found it while writing this stupid fucking post cuz it describes both Belos and well, fucking everything SO WELL. It's a pretty broad word but it's specifically relating to men. Broadly, it's when men in general feel like their "rightful place" as men is challenged and their access to their "rightful things" such as money, power and/or women is diminished or denied. It's humiliation that eventually turns itself into violence. Y'know, incels! The manosphere, MRAs etc!! It is why they are Like That.

This ties into Philip and both his main character syndrome + his eventual colonization of the Boiling Isles. He feels that, as a white cishet man, he ought to be the main character. That this is his fantasy story. His world. And in any other fantasy story it would be. But not here. Luz, a bi, poc and gnc girl is the main character. And the Demon Realm isn't going to give him special treatment just cause he's a white human man. He's not special. That's not what the Demon Realm is. And in fact his lack of a bile sack actually puts him lower on the totem pole in this society and it's very clear that this pisses him off. "Here to gawk? I may not have a bile sack but I still have dignity." This envy then turns inwards as he carves glyphs into his skin; cursing himself in the process.

Wonder if they’ll discuss toxic masculinity with Belos too. Cuz all 3 of these problems are PEAK toxic masculinity. Knowing this show possibly. I’d personally would like to see it lol.

OK! Fratricide time! Hurray!! Ok firstly I don't think this was just all over Caleb being with a witch. Well, that was what was apart of it yes but it's not all of it. I think this particular moment was the culmination of all of the things Belos hated about Caleb. A nasty tipping point.

Firstly I wanna talk about the portal door. "Two people made it," either Caleb and Belos made it or Caleb and his partner made it (I strongly lean towards the latter). Someone had to have had made this fucking thing. And remember, Eda found the portal door buried in dirt in the ruins of a structure. That same structure surrounds the Emperor's Castle today. With these 2 connections I think it's pretty safe to say the fight happened in those ruins. Portal door + those ruins paints a fight not just about him being with a witch but also Caleb not going home with him. “We don’t belong here.” Belos to Luz, King’s Tide. Belos is really, weirdly, obsessive and possessive of Caleb (cough cough grimwalkers). To Belos, this feels like a betrayal. Like Caleb is choosing them, choosing sin over him. Replacing him with Wittewife. Look at this painting they both have the same lil front hair cow lick.

Choosing to become a witch rather then become a witch hunter with him.

Of course this all doesn't mean Caleb wouldn't still visit/keep in touch he definitely loves his brother. Like think about that panting of Caleb supporting Philip while he's suffering from his curse. That pure love and support on his face for his baby brother. He'd never abandon him. Nor choose someone else over him. And hey they got that portal door now he'd obviously come and visit you, Philip. This is just Philip's worst fears which he feels has just come to fruition. That Caleb is abandoning and replacing him with Wittewife.

But I don’t really think that’s the end of it though. People are messy. And even the most evil of people feel. And it's pretty clear that he does feel guilty about this. It is his worst memory after all.

The shock and fear of being forced to relive those memories again. The grief of seeing Caleb’s dead body. And finally, curiously, him making a grimwalker. Where he then screams. Imo I think this was the first grimwalker and he thought he was bringing Caleb back. Not making a clone. Which is why he then screams. Caleb’s gone.

I think the panting of Ivan The Terrible killing his own son describes the soul crushing guilt here better then I ever could. 

Before I end this post here I want to talk a bit about the grimwalkers and what they mean. Like yeah at first glance it’s a metaphor for the cycle of abuse. But, what does this mean for Belos? Why add this to his character? He knows they’re not Caleb, they’re all their own people but he keeps going. He keeps making them. And he keeps killing them once they "betray" him. Why? Again, I think it’s because he can’t bare to live his life without Caleb.

Think about how he kills off all the grimwalkers when they “betray” him. How he tried trapping Hunter, alone, forever, in his subconscious while he and Luz were trapped in his mindscape. How even though he knew Hunter’s sigil would kill him in a week’s time he was still on the hunt for him. It's because like how Belos can't bare to live his life without Caleb, none of the grimwalkers are allowed to live their own lives without Belos.

"You know, unfettered wild magic wiped out our family. Everyone knew too much and got themselves hurt." Hunter, Hollow Mind

"I say, the Titan has big plans for you. And he does what he's told. Unlike the previous attempts." Belos about Hunter, Hollow Mind. Again, cuz it bares repeating.

And just a lil note about the grimwalkers. It's not that the grimwalkers have Caleb's Good Gene or some other weird bio-essentialist thought that makes them "rebel." The problem is Belos. He only uses people then throws them away once he's done. Nobody is gonna wanna stick around with a person who treats them like that. And nobody is gonna wanna stick around when they find the numerous skeletons in his closet too. He's always been the problem. (Baring Kikimora but I think what she represents is what he's looking for in a Caleb sidekick. He just doesn't notice cuz 1. Demon and 2. Not Caleb. His head is stuck pretty far up his own ass I noticed).

Oh and one last thing before I end this but like a little taste for the future post...

I really don’t think the Day of Unity is the end of Belos’ plans. I didn’t then and I still don’t. Look at this man he thrives off of his own bullshit you seriously think he’s gonna stop now lol? And Caleb. Why add him to Belos’ story? We know he desperately wants him back... and we know he knows the time pools exist...

“Witches and demons are real. And they’re all sent from Mars to harvest human teeth to power their time machine.” Jacob, Yesterday’s Lie

OK DONE.

[ariondevereux]

nikkaaaaa, hello!

Ask incoming heh, what song would you assign your oc with? Like their theme song! 👀✨

i wanted to do as many ocs as i could but this was so much harder than i thought 😭

maya: be kind - halsey

i don't know why you hide from the one / and close your eyes to the one / mess up and lie to the one that you love / when you know you can cry to the one / always confide in the one / you can be kind to the one that you love

so we all know about maya’s emotional baggage 😔 this song is pretty much what jordan and the team especially phoenix want to get through maya’s head. they just want her to let them be there for her

lira: people i don’t like - upsahl

everybody in this party's fucking fake / i really wish that I could say it to your face / but i won't, so / hello, it's so good to see you / we met before, but nice to meet you / yeah, i don't really wanna be here

lira isn’t snobby but she barely goes out of her way to socialize because as the mayor’s daughter, she’s seen enough fakery and has had enough people butter her up for connections and she doesn’t want any part of it

abby: that way - tate mcrae ft. jeremy zucker

every time we talk, it just hurts so bad / 'cause i don't even know what we are / i don't even know where to start / but i can play the part / we say we're friends, but i’m catching you across the room / it makes no sense 'cause we're fighting over what we do / and there's no way that i’ll end up being with you / but friends don't look at friends that way

still can't tell / if we both mean well / keep me guessing / if this is life or hell / think i might've said too much, bit the dust / now i’m kinda dizzy / overthinking us until i’m drunk and sick of this whole city / don’t know where to start / don’t know how to hold my heart / and if we're really what we say we are / then why is this so hard?

the duet version screams shiloh and abby. i have like a better explanation in my head but i can’t put it into words 😭😭 but it’s about them exchanging mixed signals because there’s shiloh whose flirting can be straightforward but sometimes he’s careful because he doesn’t want abby to feel like he’s stringing her along. like i imagine that’s also him lowkey trying to make his feelings known but there’s abby who always takes it the wrong way and thinks he’s just a natural flirt and that at the end of the day she’s still just his best friend and that’s all she’s ever gonna be because sometimes he’s too flirty and sometimes he’s not flirty enough and as much as she swears she can sense there’s something going on between them, she’s scared it’s one-sided and like if her heart is gonna get broken by someone, she really doesn’t want it to be shiloh. ugh the pining is so good but also frustrating because for two people who claim to know each other better than anyone else, they have too many mixed signals

piper: dear no one - tori kelly

so if you're out there, i swear to be good to you / but i’m done lookin' for my future someone / ‘cause when the time is right, you'll be here but for now / dear no one, this is your love song

the rest of the song is so piper actually, especially the verses about her enjoying her own company but i’m not gonna copy and paste the whole song djsjsks anyways like implied in the lyrics, piper is a romantic but she’s not desperate and rushing. she definitely wasn’t looking for anything when she met nikolas. it just sorta happened but it felt right from the get go sooo <3

cece: take off all your cool - sabrina carpenter

you don't always gotta leave me guessing / i know you wanna leave a good impression / but you did it, you did without tryin'

idk how the romance route is gonna happen in canon but in my head, reese and cece catch feelings for each other at around the same time. not just the “she’s hot/he’s hot” kinda crush. it’s more like reese genuinely feels comfortable to show cece this side of him that’s less smooth and more goofy, like more him. in my head, he starts to smile a lot more than he smirks and yeah. cece likes it 🫣 lololol but yeah cece didn’t really mean to like Like him but she sees him in a new light and she badly wishes she’d see that reese more often

emory: love again - new hope club

tell me, have i lost my mind again? / i get the feeling you might feel the same / tell me you can feel that love, feel that love again / and even though we're in this crowded room / i’m feeling like there's no one else but you / tell me you can feel that love, feel that love again

i think it’s self-explanatory 😭 but yeah she never really got over qiu and this is exactly how i imagine her thot process when she meets him again

bianca: fucked up summer - rosie darling

it’s gonna be a fucked up summer without you / ‘cause i can't stop thinkin' about you / kissing your tattoos, smokin' in your room / i let my guard down, i never meant to

ignore the fact that this is a song about an ex or smth as well as the “summer” part lmao anyway bianca didn’t mean to find love shortly after a breakup but she met shay and the heart wants it wants </3 idk how it’s gonna happen in the game but if shay’s down, bianca would definitely want to try and make the long distance work because there’s no way shay would ask her to stay in sg when she has her studies in nyc. either way, the lyrics are what i imagine bianca thinks about when she leaves sg—just her reminiscing the short time she spent with him. there’s also a line that goes “my bracelet, shoelaces i stole from your combat boots” and that is something bianca would definitely do

[queensconquest]

@aristarchos​​ said:  ‘A’Xuan’ Hua Cheng’s voice is quiet, even in an empty aquarium he doesn’t know why he spoke so softly, or if he Xuan had even heard him. They had been sitting on the floor, as they sat in front of the shark tank before them. He Xuan’s eyes were captured by the tank, the way the waters reflection ripped and cast its shadow of the the two, both in front and above them. It was dark, comforting that way as they the two simply sat silently, listening to the way the creatures of the deep spoke to each other.

He knew he Xuan must have been imagining what it would be like to be in there, being something so mysterious and beautiful, dangerous and alluring while swimming freely. Free from life’s struggles, free from having to constantly work his day away to the point of exhaustion. Hua cheng wanted to snap his fingers and make it happen, give him that dream he wanted so bad but would he forget him? Sometimes it felt like that, he xuan was already that deep sea creature he longed to be in Hua Cheng’s eyes, and for a long time it felt as long he had been watching behind his own glass barrier. How he wanted to touch, dive right into those waters and swim with him.

He switched his position, hugging his knees, watching he xuan longingly the way he xuan stared at that tank. If it meant keeping him close then he really didn’t mind if that glass continued to stand between them, or was it? Brown eyes soften and he practically scoffs at himself, the great, bold and fearless Hua cheng? Being held back by nerves? It seemed silly yet here he was, changing positions again before he crawled over to he xuan on his knees.

‘He xuan’ he calls softly, his golden gaze falling on him and he tries hard not to let his heart stop right there. Fingers gently brush black strands from his face. He’s a mess, his uniform battered and stained from all manner of things but Hua cheng didn’t care in slightest. He heard he xuan answer him but his mind was lost in his own abyss as he dove deeper into him, ‘I really..’ he trails, not having even noticed the way he had been leaning closer and closer before their lips met in the softest kiss he has ever given. ‘Like you…’ he finishes when they part, his eyes earnest, sincere. His nerves bouncing like beans in his body as he hopes that maybe, he xuan felt it too. // djsjsk sits this here for you <3

   It  has  always  been  easy  for  He  Xuan  to  lose  himself  to  the  waters.  Either  sat  in  front  of  the  shark  tank  or  laying  in  the  tunnel  ,  where  he  can  pretend  he’s  submerged  but  able  to  breathe  through  gills  like  so  many  of  the  creatures  he  knows  and  adores.  He  knows  most  of  the  animals  better  than  the  higher  ups  ,  but  it  doesn’t  matter.  It  never  does.  But  at  least  he  can  spend  time  around  them.   That  alone  had  been  his  one  blessing  in  his  wretched  life.

   Faintly  he  hears  a  voice  calling  to  him  through  the  depth  of  his  mind.  Had  it  been  any  other  voice  ,  he  would  have  liked  to  ignore  it.  He  would  have  closed  his  eyes  and  sank  into  the  depths  of  his  mind  or  let  his  eyes  lose  themselves  in  the  ripples  of  the  water  and  the  movements  of  the  animals.  But  not  that  voice.  It  draws  his  mind  away  from  how  much  he’d  like  to  sink  into  the  depths  of  the  water.  It’s  a  process  that  takes  time  though  rather  than  being  instantaneous.  His  own  mind  was  as  deep  as  the  waters  he  craved  ,  whether  here  in  the  aquarium  or  the  black  waters  of  the  city  bay  at  midnight.  But  he  swims  towards  the  voice  all  the  same.

    Finally  his  eyes  tear  themselves  away  from  the  sharks  to  look  towards  Hua  Cheng  ,  noting  with  surprise  how  close  he’d  gotten  when  He  Xuan  had  been  sinking  in  his  own  mind.  Now  gold  eyes  remain  unfaltering  and  focused  on  Hua  Cheng  ,  latching  to  him  in  attention  like  a  drowning  man  to  a  life  raft.  He  Xuan  had  never  asked  to  be  saved  ,  even  tried  to  fight  the  attempts  of  company  and  saving.  But  somehow  Hua  Cheng  had  wrestled  from  icy  waters  of  himself  and  kept  him  from  falling  again.  Did  Hua  Cheng  know  that  ?  It  was  hard  to  tell.  

   “  Hua  Cheng.  “  He  answers  back  ,  voice  feeling  too  loud  in  the  darkened  silence.  He  watches  the  other  man  ,  drawing  a  breath  when  he  sees  how  the  distance  between  them  was  shrinking  with  every  moment.  And  then  there’s  no  distance.  There’s  warmth  pressed  to  his  cool  lips.  He’s  being  kissed.  He  has  to  wonder  if  Hua  Cheng  has  hit  his  head  one  too  many  times  to  want  to  kiss  him  with  all  his  flaws.  He  also  realizes  he  desperately  hopes  not.  That  this  is  real.

   He  Xuan’s  left  speechless  when  Hua  Cheng  pulls  away  to  finish  his  statement.  Hua  Cheng  isn’t  joking.  He  can  tell  that  with  one  look  at  his  eyes.  His  voice  catches  in  his  throat  ,  struggling  to  say  anything  like  fish  struggling  in  nets.  Too  much  , and  not  enough.  He  does  the  next  best  thing.  He  lifts  a  hand  and  pulls  Hua  Cheng  to  him  to  press  another  kiss  to  his  lips  just  as  soft  and  tender  as  the  one  the  other  had  given  him.

   Reluctance  accompanies  him  as  he  pulls  back  slightly  ,  watching  the  blue  glow  on  Hua  Cheng’s  features  and  a  shadow  as  one  of  the  sharks  swims  past  to  plunge  both  their  faces  into  darkness  and  then  blue  light  again.  “ I  like  you  too.  “  He  whispers  ,  voice  now  barely  audible  despite  how  silent  it  is.  It’s  a  terrifying  admission  ,  but  it’s  the  truth.

[yyxgin]

I’m gonna end up calling him various different names I swear, he’s gonna be confused 😌 SPILL THE KITTY NAMES. SPILL. THEM. NOW. It’s always great to name things u don’t possess tbh, I’m gonna name the tree outside my window something now xD

Nico is very adorable but he’s also a lil shit, he jumped off the stairs, but he’s fine!!!

I AM IN LOVE WITH RENJUN HIS WHOLE AS BEING IS WOW 🤩 HES REALLY GONNA TAKE THE BIAS TITLE FROM CHENLE BRUH 🙃 I love a multitalented king. I Stan the one and only Huang Renjun bc it’s what he deserves😌

I’m pretty sure you might be the long lost member of nct dream. Let’s create a new subunit and just add ourselves there 👀 SM doesn’t have to know

NO, U ARE MORE LOVABLE MATE I ADORE U QUEEN ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

I have no idea what happened to Jackson wang?? Last thing I knew is e was rumoured to have a gg?? He reminds me a lot of tony stark

DUDE THATS THE BEST QUOTE EVER ! ! ! I SHOULDVE PUT THAT AS MY YEARBOOK QUOTE NOOOOO

DJSJSK THATS SO CUTE my grandma does that w her dog but she just does it bc she forgets his real name all the time 😔 (she had multiple dogs before she is just confused ig) OKAY SO THE KITTY NAMES FOR THE TIME BEING ARE: jun (the one that likes me the most and my friend decided to name him that bc of my obsession with renjun,,,i swear we are okay🤠🤠), bonnie, clyde, nala, AND I FORGOT THR LAST ONE DJDJDNFUCK but they had traditional slovak human names for like 2 hours bc we just thought it was so funny so the boys were matúš and sebastián 🤪💗

nico is an adventurer we stan,,,also send me pics of him whenever u want i will literally melt.

RENJUN IS THE LOML AND AS MY FRIEND YOU ARE OBLIEGED TO LOVE HIM TOO. I WAS WATCHING THE VIDEO OF YANGYANG RENJUN AND TEN HANGING OUT YESTERDAY AND IT FELT LIKE FREE THERAPY BC RENJUN AND YANGYANG ARE MY ULTS 💔💔 AND THEY ARE BESTIES !! 💔💔💔😭😭😭 here have screenshots you absolutely didnt ask for but you're getting them anyways bc i am annoying and i cannot stop. the first two just prove that me and renjun are the same person and the second two are here just bc they are cute. 😔

ALSO CHENLE IS YOUR BIAS ????? THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE. i also had my chenle phase😔dude i had so many phases when i got into nct i felt like a hoe but eventually i got stuck w the men shown above💔

DJDJSK PLEAAASE lets make nct europe. nct slavic unit. i have slavic friends on here lets do it. also did i ask where youre from ?? did i not ?? im such a bad friend omg

TONY STARK ???#&×£×¥ anyways i dont know anything abt the gg?? 😭😭 but i think there was some cotton/slavery drama w like him being an ambassador for nike/adidas/whatever the brand he is an ambassador for ???? but i mean i could be wrong djsjjs

[linphd]

Playing fight | Headcanons

gender neutral

-> Neito Monoma, Shoto Todoroki, Camie Utsushimi, Romero Fujimi

-> adding some characters without a lot of headcanons with shoto bc I love them

Neito Monoma

Don’t fucking test him.

He really really loves playing games with you -even when he loses bc it’s you and you have privileges- so if you suddenly play fight he’s in.

His main goal is to make you lay down on your back and to prevent you from moving by locking your hands above your head.

Sometimes he hugs you while fighting because he’s that in love with you.

It’s also to tease you let’s be real he’s like : ‘’I’m so strong I even have time to hug you in the process.’’ Or he’s acting all lovely only so you won’t suspect him to fight again.

That kind of boyfriend who touches your genitals while fighting when he’s in danger so you’re distracted by it and you lose.

Sometimes he lets you win, sometimes you win for real, but he still has his cocky smile on no matter what.

When he’s in a bad mood he would push you for real though. He won’t hurt you but he will show that he doesn’t want to play. Grumpy Neito.

Shoto Todoroki

At the beginning of the relationship he doesn’t understand why you want to fight him.

‘’... But we’re dating why would we fight ?’’ So you have to explain to him.

Throughout time, he understands why it is funny and actually ends up finding it amusing as well. He’s more and more into it actually and you’re happy !

You’re less happy when you notice that the more he’s into it, the more he wins easily, though. He’s actually stronger than you -not talking about quirks- so you’re pouting.

Eventually lets you win because he’s sad that you’re pouting.

He likes to play on a bed or somewhere comfortable so he’s actually not hurting you. Once he hurt you while playing and he felt so bad you couldn’t cheer him up by saying you were okay.

Sometimes you use your quirk to win and he’s like ‘ahhh ! not fair !’ and uses his as well.

If you end up him laying on top of you he will hug you in the process because he feels bad for winning and you pouting lol...

If you actually do win though he acts like he’s sad only so you kiss him sjsksl shoto....

Camie Utsushimi

Actually don’t know how to play she’s fighting for real like s t o p.

Like you can start by tickling her and she’ll end up pulling your hair????

She’s mostly the one who initiates the fights by jumping on your back randomly and tickling you. You know that tickles end up in fights.

You win most of the time though, mostly because she hurts you so you start to get angry and hurt her more djsjsk but she knows it’s her fault so she apologizes and you feel bad.

LICKED YOUR FACE ONCE TO WIN SJSJSK

Would really do anything to win??? She even acts like she’s hurt badly so you stop but she’s faking it and pushes you???

When she does win though, she actually kisses you all over your face. She loves you okay??? even if you think she secretly wants to kill you.

Wanna fight when it’s not the moment like y’all students are assisting a reunion and she’s starting to tickle you like MOVE DJSKSL...

Romero Fujimi

You really don’t wanna play fight with him anymore cause he’s a douche.

If he wins he blabbers about it for days like we understood???

And he’s winning most of the time, mostly because he tickles you or pulls your hair so you’re distracted.

Sometimes he even touches under your shirt or pants/skirt so you’re like wtf and distracted and then he pushes you??? not fair.

‘’Say the words or I won’t let you go !’’ And you have to reply : ‘’You’re the strongest, master, and I am a weakeling.’’ like you guys are siblings.

However, when he loses, he actually loses his cool as well and uses his quirk so you both turn into zombies (because most of the time you fight without your hero costumes on).

When you guys finally turn back of course you’re not happy lmao like BITCH WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYING.

When you win you like to blabber about it for days like he does only to show him how it feels. He’s not happy. Well, it’s his problem not yours.

[akkpipitphattana]

Yeeess I was thinking Max as well but picturing how Maya will probably be on Friday I don't know of his calm demeanor can have an impact

Now that after reading what you wrote about Jo's pov of the texts (I loved it btw ☺☺ I love that I was able to really see them in my head doing exactly the expression that you described my poor Lola I know that is exactly how she felt 😭😭) maybe Jo it's not a bad option djskss I know that is saying a lot bc of god knows she has given really bad advices lately but maybe she is the one that can really tell that Lola still loves her

Alsoo I'm about to watch Ep 8 of S3 of druck and I have a feeling the more intense is yet to come I'll tell what I think tomorrow hopefully we don't attract more haters to your asks djsjsk I saw the one going off about ava and kieu my 🙄

We were talking so peacefully about it 😌

sjdjdj that’s very true, maya might just snap at max lmao. doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try tho

yeaaah i feel like jo would be a bad idea usually… but i do feel like she may be the one that does understand what lola’s going through the most/understands lola does still love maya

ahhh i’m so excited to hear your thoughts! and yeah lmao, no idea how that happened or what that anon was on

[indomies]

hi love!! I’m giving you all the good luck for your exams 💙 oh that sucks and I completely understand the feeling, but just know that it can only get better from here, and once you finish this degree (unless you choose to do further studies) you’re done and you don’t have to worry about exams again!!!!

omg that’d be so cool if you started up a small business - I’m sure you’d have great stuff to sell! what stuff did you have in your merch shop in indonesia??

yessss me too 🥰 and I’m excited to see how the hl seasons edit turns out!!

holy shit I just looked up all those places that you mentioned and they’re i n c r e d i b l e 😲. the borobudur temple is gorgeous, the beaches at lombok and east nusa tenggara are stunning and the komodo dragons i slfjskjd 😳😳. ((I’m literally putting all these places on my travel list btw))

oh wow is it tough that you haven’t gone back in 3 years?? like obviously with technology now you’re able to do more like call family, etc. but still it must suck not going back to your home country :( (unless that’s your choice, which in that case is cool too haha)

kind of a side note but I saw your pics in the snow in berlin and you look so adorable omgggg, and also the snow is pretty too sljdskj

yesss I can’t wait!!!!! love you too belle!!

your secret valentine 💖

hey lovely, it’s your secret valentine here <33 I’m not sure if you got my last ask (and it’s completely fine if you did and you just haven’t answered it yet!!) i just wanted to make sure tumblr didn’t eat it up 😠 or that you thought I stopped sending asks! hope you’re having a great day 🥰

lovely!!! hello jdksks it’s my fault! i opened your ask yesterday and wanted to answer it but something got into the way then i forgot fjsjsj my bad! thanks for the other ask!!! so sweet🥺

fuck no im gonna graduate and work first fjsjs no further studies in the near future lmaoo. i want to take a break from studying and idk just have time for myself, between studying and working im so tired.

i sold tote bags!!! i think you can find it on gladtohearabell on instagram. it was really fun!!! i chose totebags bc my friends who were fans were in highschool and uni so totebags were suitable djsjsk.

i have my hl season ready! but im waiting for the dash to be a bit quiet from defenceless. this is defenceless time babey!!! i had a lot of thoughts with it bc the first season caption was summer but the mb itself felt more spring than summer BFJDDK bc of flowers. so im making a summer beachy vibes mb now!!!!

I KNOW RIGHT! indonesia has incredible nature but the government lmao want to throw them out. too many incompetents there. im putting them also in my travel list lmaoo.

yeah but my family visited me during christmas in 2018 and 2019! so i didnt miss out a lot. but yeah i miss my room in indonesia lmao and my family. hope we can get vaccinated soon tho so i can fly home fjsjsjs.

thank you!!! i was so happy with the snow!! i didnt see snow that thick since 2017 djsnsk. there’s gonna be a snow storm this weekend in north germany and it’s so cold already here thank God we’re staying at home.

okay pls tell me what are your dream places to visit???

love you❤️

[ericeffiorg]

i'm working on this show at university that's supposed to advertise the place to people from years 10 to 12 and as soon as it began the mic turned off and then when the musician started to sing it got all squeaky and it was so funny i felt bad for laughing djsjsks

[yyxgin]

im so glad you had your first day!! how was it? did you get into a groove? make some work friends? i believe in you bestie 🥺💗

over the moon today. i took the jelly desert thingies (remember me telling you about the food runner who shared one w me?) n i told everyone if they want one to take some n i told the barman n he was like hmmm okay n then i said if he didn’t like lychee i had mango n he was like 😋😋 mango yum so i’m taking those tomorrow. me n two of the girls were giggling at his expense (he doesn’t know) bc he said to the girl ‘not to point out that i’m staring at your ass but you’ve got chocolate on your bum’ n i kept making sly comments for the rest of the evening. i carried some plates back to dishwash n i got some food up me on my boobies (🤢) n i went back to the girl n was like ‘okay girl tell me if there’s anything i haven’t got bc ben’ll point it out otherwise’ n we just laughed. i kept saying stuff like maybe you should just bend over n ask if there’s anything on your bum n she screeched 😂😭

my manager gave my friend a job. i was mildly annoyed bc out of all the new starters i genuinely think i was the only one who had a real interview. my friends mum dropped us off n i literally went to get changed n when i came back she was gone. she messaged me n said my manager just gave her the job. like thank goodness! but also sis what how comes?? she said she trusts me n my word so… also the area manager was there today n my manager isn’t supposed to be hiring anyone but the area manager asked her why she was hiring n asked if it was my friend n asked if she could work as good as me bc otherwise why was she hiring 😳 my supervisor told me this and said ‘don’t let her drag you down’ i was like 👍 yes bestie never!! like i love my friend but at the same time i do not want to be responsible for her every step of the way. in the nicest way possible, i did the first part, asking if my manager was hiring to help my friend out bc she hates her current job etc etc but the rest is down to her. like if she messes up, that’s on her. if it had been the other way around i wouldn’t expect anything different, you know? but i’ve always known when and where to draw the line. im good at standing my ground. speak to me like shit and it’ll come right back around, right?

one of the girls today said her table was quite rude/stand-offish to her n she was like ‘i really needed you there bc you would’ve put them in their place’ and i said afterwards ‘do you want me to have a word with them?’ deadly seriously n she panicked n was like no it’s okay!! unless they properly upset her it wasn’t to worry about. i can’t stand people who are rude unnecessarily to 1) cleaners 2) food servers (waiter/ess, dinner ladies, the likes) and 3) people who’s first language isn’t the one spoken widespread in the country they’re in (so if someone was rude to the lovely thai food runner bc there’s a language barrier i would actually fight them bc she’s literally the sweetest). i get so mad at people n now i feel weird. like i have all this energy inside me now waiting to be used bc i was not best pleased with the women who was rude to one of my girls >:( n now i just want to explode but i don’t have a reason? i need to release this energy soon. nobody has massively annoyed me recently though but i was ready to say something if they said anything to my girl.

goodness me!! also not the biggest fan of people who stay when we’re literally getting a delivery 😐 like, go home, fr. respectfully, leave the goddamn premises.

im so sorry i feel like ive mostly ranted today!! but yeah. my motherly instinct is kicking in… except ion have kids. noice. n e way!! ly bar 🥺🦋💗 ~ 🌻

aaah my first day was super weird. there was a lady ive never seen before bossing everyone around,,she had like the classic short haired tattooed smoking 40year old look and i was lowkey scared of her but apparently shes there only until tuesday ?? i think she is like,,the boss of the whole chain or something ?? idk. anyways my manager was nice, i was chipping clothes and then they like uhh forgot i was even there and they all went to leave so that was funny. the other coworkers there offered me a ride home but i declined bc my dad went to get me but that was cute <3 they seem nice but too old to be my work friends djsjks i am going again on monday so we'll see how that goes !!

DJSKSK THE BOY I WAS INTO DID THE SAME TO ME 😭😭 he was like "bar you have something on your butt" and i went "are you staring at my ass?" and he went all 👁👄👁 no.

I totally get why you were "mad" abt your friend getting that job so easily. I would feel like that too, like,,you worked hard to get that job and she just chimes in and gets it just like that ?? i felt like that when we were on our internship that I got for me and my friend (that wasnt even talking to me at that time bc she was annoyed by me lmao) and i was the one getting the hard work while she did nothing all day. like i had to write all the emails and do the paperwork so we could intern there in the first place and then she just chimes in and doesnt even do anything and just walks around the whole day and gets a good grade for nothing. djsjsk or maybe im just too dramatic. that might be the case too.

you are so protective i love that🥺you look like that kind of friend i'd trust with my whole life cjsjsk also i get why you feel like that bc i get that too😔 i even stood up for my classmate multiple times but now my whole class just hates me and i am the bad one so💔💔💔but im done talking abt it i had my fair share of mental breakdowns yesterday when the drama was happening (also the reason why im replying so late,,,sorry about that😔)

IM ALWAYS HERE WHEN U NEED TO RANT !!! I ranted in my reply too so sorry if im being annoying but you just gotta get it out some days. 😩 ily more hope u have a great day !! <3

[yyxgin]

I think jisung’s existence on its own is a cultural reset. That man is amazing I swear.

Also same with exams, I graduated last year and was doing this program called the IB (sucks btw I freaking hate it) and I learned NOTHING bc of online classes, they felt optional as hell and luckily enough I had no exams so I received the diploma without having to do any of those. That was the only win I swear.

Selena the series is really nice! I think a lot of people compare it to the JLo movie. I havent seen it so I wouldn’t be able to say. The ending of the series was a bit odd imo but I understand why they did it the way they did!! AND yes it’s officially my comfort show 🥳 It’s been a while since I’ve watched any dramas, I’m currently watching Love Alarm (slowly bc I procrastinate watching things too oof). Which dramas are your fave?? Any recs are welcome 😅

Romcom dreams are gr8, often times they involve a club and the same setting all the ikr BUT with a bit of sleep deprivation I can change the setting into a dystopian romcom nightmare-ish atmosphere 😎

ALSO OKAY FELIX WITH A MULLET DUDE I CANT!!!! WHEN HE HAS BROWN HAIR I SWEAR I DIED BC IT LOOKED SO GOOD ON HIM :,) The way I feel about renjun’s current hair style is how I felt abt Felix’s Brunet era 😔♥️

Jisung's whole existence,,,fr he is too powerful.

Omg i am so jealous 😩😩 this year's and last year's seniors graudated without the exams as well bc of corona but i doubt i will be this lucky💔😔

I haven't seen the JLo movie either sjsjs i'm bad w movies😭but i'll make sure to watch Selena !! Also you are like the third person telling me they're watching love alarm and i am so concerned bc i literally despised that drama. As for recs, i LOVED EXTRACURRICULAR and i wont ever stop talking about it. its the best kdrama i've ever watched😩 i also liked itaewon class bc i am basic, sky castle and alice in the borderland (japanese) !! And if you're into webdramas, which i personally am bc they are shorter,,,i can recommed a-teen, pop out boy and the way i hate you !! 💕

A CLUB ?? THAT SOUNDS SPICY DJSJSK my dreams usually make zero sense. I literally had a dream tonight that i was in an alice in borderland universe but instead of playing cards i got kpop photocards at the end😭😭✋

FELIXS BRUNETTE MULLET AND RENJUN'S CURRENT HAIR ARE THE TOP OF MY KPOP HAIRSTYLES LIST AAAAAH