#I found I had to read it through with a website that explained the references and context and annotate a copy of the poem to really get it

[yourlocalsmutwriter]

IYCRTTBFO - Joel Miller x reader

cw: dbf! Joel is also a cam model, light(ish) daddy kink, creampies, at least two references to Wheeler Walker Jr. songs, big fat age gap

You couldn't sleep. It started at college, when you were working part-time while doing your masters thesis. Your night shift ended at 2.30 in the morning. Then, by the time you went to bed, you were struggling to shake off the buzzing energy. Your body was tired, and your mind was elsewhere. So you turned to the only true, tried and tested method of getting yourself to sleep. Masturbation. Low effort, porn video you've already watched, finger rubbing your clit, masturbation. It worked for about a week. Then your "sessions" got longer. And longer. You had to spend an hour now, chasing your orgasm. Begging yourself to cum. Getting more frustrated and then practically passing out like a log. You got good sleep out of it. But also it was getting painful. Your clit would hurt, a short stabbing pain taking your mind off of your thesis critique. Not that you were too keen on hearing about the feedback on your research model. So you were going to quit, cold turkey style. On the one hand, your insomnia persisted. Now you had replaced porn with your self assigned reading. But that did not help you sleep, just made you more cranky. Your cycadian rhythm was fucked beyond belief. So you moved through life half- asleep, always spending your days off napping. Morning meetings were rough and when you slept through an internship interview at 1, you knew enough was enough.

Back to flicking the bean to not be mean. You just figured you needed a change of scenery, so to speak. You considered OnlyFans, ready to be shelling out your hard earned cash for tasteful nudes (perhaps those of Markiplier or something like that). But that wouldn't be personal enough. You tried audio stuff, but the JOIs weren't really catered to you. Yes, they had your kinks. Or the pet names you liked. But never together, never quite enough. And call it conditioning, but you wanted something familiar. A certain Austin draw, a slice of the Texas you were far away from. But alas, your cowboy was not on Quinn or soundgasm. So you went old-school.

Girls like you weren't even supposed to know about camming sites. It was such a retro thing, more of your father's and Joel's generation. But it was thanks to the former's inability to delete a browser history that you were here. The landing page of the website was fine. You had to make the choice of looking at women, men, couples, or the trans category. Craving to see a solo cumshot, you click on "male". You should've expected that even here, it would be geared towards other guys, like most porn was. The tags of the rooms said it all. Anal. Fuckmachine. Party. But as you refreshed the home page again, someone caught your eye. It was a guy in a cowboy hat over his face. His tip goal was simple, promising a glimpse of him shirtless. It was the amount of tokens needed that amazed you, it was so high. Seriously, from your little time on the website, you could see this was a bit too self assured. But he was getting there. You clicked the video, morbid curiosity taking over. This and his username of thicktexanbeercan. A man after your own heart.

People flood in, apparently the red color of their usernames means they're part of a fan club? You wanna learn more, so you click through the whole thing. The "cam boy" or "cam man" or whatever you were supposed to call him was just welcoming people. There were other newbies like you because you were half-listening to him explaining about his mic.

"You can hear me so clearly cause I have it clipped to my neck on a fucking chocker. Which you guys should've let die in the 90s btw." You're looking at his tags of #monster cock, #daddy, #master and #orgasmguide. And when someone voices your thought of "some of us weren't even born in the 90s." you found out why. He reads it out and snorts.

"Look at you, so young and already a pathetic little pervert watching older men. What, daddy didn't love you enough, babydoll? So now you gotta come here at night and tune into me stroking my cock for you. Wishing you were on your knees, trying to take it in your bratty little mouth?". The donations explode. The sound effects of coins reverberate through your headphones. The goal is met and the stream has been on for only 15 minutes. You can't see him smile, but you can feel it, by the way his shoulders relax.

"You're such a good girl tonight, spoiling your old man. So needy, already wanting me to take off my clothes. I will, little slut, just let daddy take care of something first." He rolls his chair to the desk and takes his keyboard. You chuckle at the faded and yellowed stickers on it, they vaguely reminded you of something. The man can touch type and you've never wanted to be a pair of keys more in your life. The goal's adjusted, promising whipped cream on his chest. As he fiddles with the camera angles and wonders aloud how to best give you a show, you hover to his bio tab. The man intrigues you. Under real name, he put “Can't tell you, but my screen name is a pun”, so you guess it's Bud or even Sam Addams. His age is listed as late 40s, and when you see a glimpse of his salt and pepper chest hair, it makes sense.

This guy intrigues you. Instead of rubbing one out, you're scrolling further. There's pictures and videos. While there's one of him wearing assless chaps for free (which quickly gets saved to your phone gallery), the rest is behind a paywall. Videos of him cumming or even simple things like doing push-ups. Your palms are itching and you know your payday is coming soon. But before you end up buying a filthy mp4, you go back to the stream.

Somehow, he had made taking off a flannel sexy. Rubbing his fingers against his chest. Touching his happy trail. Then someone in the chat asked, "How much to see the good stuff?" He reads it out, chuckles, and presses a few keys, making a tip menu appear in the chat. It has the usual stuff, promises of flashing his cock or flexing his biceps. C2C and PMs (which you had learned stood for cam to cam and private messages). Then, was the more personal stuff. Nudes rating (5 photos), praise, degradation, ddlg. He clearly knew what people wanted. Was it what he craved as well, you wondered? Then came "the goods" the other person was probably talking about. Jerking off, cumming, even using a vibrator or a fleshlight on himself.

You wondered how long it would take to see the self-described "thicktexanbeercan.". But thanks to someone just as horny as you, if not more, it would be almost immediately. When the tip for "jerking off" came through, he said the person's username and then asked, "How do I thank you, using my southern charm or Austin dirtbag style?"

When the person replied with "dirtbag style," also my pronouns are she/they."he presumably glanced at the message. Probably keeping eye contact with the camera, he reaches for his belt.

"Thank you for being horny, I guess. Desperate little thing, that doesn't like to wait. Impatient darling, needing to see daddy pump his cock for you. Gonna show you exactly what you wanna see, baby.". The belt is on the ground and his jeans are around his ankles. Never did you think that a guy simply taking off his pants would be so hot. Your gaze trails from his delicious thighs to his boxers. Holy shit, even by his outline you can tell that his username isn't an exaggeration.

He pulls it out and it's the prettiest and biggest cock you've ever seen. His hand wraps around it, one slow pump he thrust into, back arching. Then he folds one arm behind his head and turns straight into the camera. You like the mystery, but wish he would show his face. His voice is breathy, he obviously likes what he's doing. And his thrusts are speeding up.

His chat is going crazy, tokens pouring in.

"You like what you see, huh? Bet you're aching to touch yourself, too. Go on, spread your pretty legs for me, and give me a show, too.". Before you know it, you're following his instructions. Pajama pants quickly pulled down, you touch yourself. And God damn, are you wet. You're fucking dripping, for this stranger on the internet. You don't have time to be embarrassed. You trail a finger against your opening, gathering the slick. Then you touch your clit, rubbing it slow and then gradually speeding up. But it's so much more intense, it's fucking electric. You glance at the clock on your phone. Look back at the man on the stream, his chest, his cock. And in a minute you're cumming. Eyes closed, pussy getting tighter and clenching around nothing orgasm. You close the stream, mortified. You go to bed and have the best sleep of your life.

By the next stream, you have an account, and you follow him. He acknowledges that, and you're tempted to already start touching yourself. But it's a Friday night, you've promised yourself that weekends are for yourself. Seeing that you pushed for Saturdays off, one would think you'd need to be up, bright and early, and going somewhere. But not this time. You had planned a slow day, where you catch up on laundry and read. But before the weekend was this. You caught on to today's stream a bit too late. Your cowboy (a middle-aged man that probably didn't know you existed) was already shirtless. He had a loofah and a mug filled with water next to him.

"One of y'all suggested I try temporary tattoos. Now, I had to go to the grocery store and get weird looks as I pumped quarters in a machine. So you better enjoy them. Or actually, if I find good ones online, I'm adding them to the wishlist.". He moves off camera and holds up two sheets of temporary tattoos, very tribal and barbed wire inspired. The other is surprisingly butterflies and unicorns.

He unbuttons his pants and lowers his boxers. You can see just the tip, straight as a ram rod. You can't help but wonder if he gets off on being watched. Your head gets filled with fantasies of him and you. Embarrassingly you're picturing him pulling out his pecker in a mundane place like Walmart and fucking you in the aisles. Maybe you just need to do better groceries, you think looking at the takeout bag from the restaurant you just spent 8 hours in. There were enough chicken nuggets in there to feed a family. You get your mind back in the gutter when the performer moans. You stare at the screen. His torso is covered in the temporary tattoo, and he's strategically placed the barbed wire around his nipples. As he drags the wet loofah against his pelvis, he groans.

"God, this is cold. Wish you were here, to warm up my cock. With your mouth or cunt or ass. Filling you so well."

This time, you come before he's even pulled out his dick. Yet you keep watching. A second orgasm gets squeezed out of you later, with the help of your dildo. When "beercan" reaches a crazy tip goal, he fucks his fleshlight. He's merciless, using the pocket pussy like a cocksleeve, whispering the most obscene stuff.

"You like that? You like it when daddy fucks you like this. Of course you do. You're so tight for me, yet you take my big cock so well. Trained you well, didn't I? Made my own little whore, that needs my cum. Beg for it.". And you do, miles away from this stranger. You orgasm with him, sex toy deep inside of you. He cums and makes the stream watch as he cleans the fleshlight with the same loofah he used earlier.

That stream basically breaks you. For some reason two intense orgasm equal a very productive day then. You're a new person. You study and work better and no longer need to fuck yourself to sleep. That you stranger whose name is Bud or Sam Addams or Miller. Not that you drink the latter anyway, so it never crosses your mind. After all, Joel is older, in his mid 50s. But what he's not above is lying on the internet. Using the world wide web to show his nasty bits to the world. And what he'd soon realize is that his best friend's daughter isn't too.

After finishing your masters thesis, you come to the harrowing reality that there's no jobs for you here. And then comes your dad's constant pestering to come home. You reject him at first. There's nothing left for you in Texas anymore, besides the family house. But then, a former high school mentor posts a job opening on their Instagram story. And it's perfect for you, aside from the fact it's in Austin. You off handedly mention it to your parents, after immediately applying. You don't expect to get it. But with interviews and all, you do. They even allow you to start a bit later, making sure you work off your part-time job shifts.

So you take the plunge and buy plane tickets. There's only one problem. The flight is so early that you'd practically have to leave your empty apartment at 4 in the morning. So you decide to pull an allnighter. You're not sure how you end up back on the chat room site. You don't even know if "thicktexanbeercan" still cams. But as you click on the page, you get a notification that he's in a live show. Feeling bold tonight, you know you wanna be a bit more adventurous. Call it what you will, but you need a shake-up. After so much uncertainty, you need to do something so out of character.

You feel the money in your pocket burns a hole in it. Yes, packing your stuff and sending it back wasn't cheap. Nor was the last-minute plane ticket (even with Spirit airlines). But you had sold a lot of your things, gotten your rental deposit back, and got your days off comped as overtime. So you were, technically, on the flipside. Now, responsible people would put that into savings. You were spending it on tokens. You wanted to be seen. So you tipped for "nudes review." Truth is, ever since your last partner in freshman year of college, it was a string of bad hookups and boring first dates. No one had seen you naked in a while. But that didn't mean you didn't have nudes. Nope, you liked taking shots of yourself in compromising positions. After all, your pretty lingerie deserved to be shown off.

So you mindlessly sent over 4 shots via the opened pm option. He moves a large IPad in front of his face to obscure it. His ever-present cowboy hat is moved to his head as he stares at your pictures. He strokes his cock, at his usual fast pace.

"Jesus fuck, darling, aren't you a treasure. Look at that ass, so perky. It would look good in red, after I'm done with you. Let's see the next one, oh, you're doing the hand bra thing. Need someone to fondle your tits, huh. Don't worry, I'd grope them for you. Put my mouth on them, tease your sensitive nipples. Fuck, let's see the third. Damn, you're stark fucking naked. What a little whore you are, showing me everything. Don't know if I wanna think about your boobs again or your hips or your pussy. Might just stick around and look at it. Only one more, okay. Fuck, that's my favorite one, doll. Even though you should've been more careful. You forgot to crop out your face. I can see your needy expression as you're rubbing your clit. Hand in your lacy black panties, must have been a special night. Who in their right mind would have let you go instead of fucking you right against the mirror you're using as a prop. Don't worry, I'll make it right. I'll give you a tribute, right here. How's that sound, darling? You want this old man to cover your photo with his cum in front of thousands of people?".

Any fear or shame you've had is long gone. You don't only want that, you need it. You type a "please, daddy" in the chat. His groan fills your headphones. He fumbles, balancing his hat on his nose. For the first time, you see a glimpse of his face. His tongue wets his lips as he zooms on the iPad, making sure that others only see from your chest down. He jerks his cock over it, painting his screen with spurts of his cum.

"That was intense, think I'll put you on hold for a bit. It's been a while since a first orgasm drained me like that. Daddy will be back soon." He says and pauses the broadcast. Truth is, his cock would be hard again in a minute. It was the fact that he came to you that was haunting him. His best friend's daughter. A girl who was younger than his niece. A woman who was coming back to Texas after leaving as a 19 year old. Then you were still awkward and Joel would never look at you twice. You were a child, for God's sake. But now, some years later you had shed your baby face. You were a fucking bombshell. And he was about to implode.

After a whirlwind rest of the stream, you go to the airport and catch your flight. Despite being a full-grown adult, your parents insist on picking you up. You're back in your childhood bedroom, surrounded by boxes of your new life. You notice that some stuff from before is missing.

"Hey dad, where's the old blueetoth keyboard we bought when the laptop was on the fritz? Might need it for work." You ask. You're sure you can easily write down notes on your phone or on paper. But there was something satisfying about hooking up your old iPad to a keyboard and typing. Maybe it's the fact that it got you through college twice that has you feeling sentimental. Maybe it's the truth that your parents didn't know you bought it, and now you had to use it daily to justify spending money on it. Either way, your dad replied with

"Oh, I gave that to Joel. He said he was starting some new call center job and needed it. Working on European projects, so he's always busy at night. Must pay a pretty penny, he's always got packages on his doorstep. You should see his new pickup truck too, she's a beauty." Your father said.

"Didn't need the whole prologue, dad. Can you just get it back?" You ask.

"Now come on honey, you're a grown woman. You can go over and ask him yourself. He's not gonna eat you." Your dad insists, and you have to agree. With a resigned "At least text him and tell him I'm on the way.", you go. There's no use arguing. You can not explain to your dad that when you were 19, you wanted nothing more than Joel taking your virginity. That now, years after, you still wouldn't mind a sip of that can of Miller.

One of the reasons your dad and Joel were friends was the fact that you could get to the latter's house in about 15 minutes. You're there in less, ringing the doorbell and waiting. Joel emerges in a moss green bathrobe and grey sweatpants. His hair is tousled, and it's obvious that he was sleeping. You'd feel bad if he didn't greet you with a

"What the fuck do you want, I ain't buying anything. Oh. It's you. Hey, kiddo.". Your eyes go to the mat on his front porch, but not before taking in his cock. Was he hard? Had you interrupted an intimate moment? You mumble something about "wireless keyboard" and "borrowing it back, please" when he leads you in. If he had a lady friend, she was as quiet as a church mouse.

"It's in the guest room. Had to convert into a sort of home office, after getting a desk job, so many years as a contractor. Got hard on my back. Wanted to enjoy doing nothing, then Sara got knocked up again. Just like Tommy, both of them can't stop having kids. So now I have to be rich gruncle Joel. And I don't know why I'm telling you this instead of just getting the keyboard." He says. Joel pops in, but he doesn't close the door all the way. Peeking in through the hole, it seems familiar. Like you've seen it before, but recently. You shrug off the deja vu and take the keyboard from him. But as he hands it to you, familiar stickers facing you, you piece it together.

"Thicktexanbeercan" had the same one. And you recognized it because you "decorated" it as a sticker obsessed teen. There was no way. Mr. Miller was not camming. You had not orgasmed to him dirty talking to you. And most importantly, he had not come all over a photo of your tits. It was just a huge, cosmic coincidence. But there was only one way to find out.

The wait until your first paycheck was too long, yet you had to endure. There is no way you were taking money out of your savings to fulfill possibly Joel's wishlist. So when that sum hit your bank account, you expertly navigated to thicktexanbeercan's page. Clicking on the shop icon, you choose to ignore that the man is selling his nudes, his underwear, and his socks. Though tempted by the Polaroids of his cock, you move on. You buy the custom temporary tattoos, a callback to a previous stream. Your pussy twitches at the memory and you're quick to suppress your urges. You send your "requirements" to the Amazon seller and hope they get them ready soon. You also secretly order some for yourself, shipping them to a friend's house. You start tuning into the streams regularly, watching them all the way through. Your coworkers have the grace to not comment. Especially since the nightly nsfw is always in the background of something else. So you're doing research on one screen, while listening to maybe Joel call you a nasty whore for watching him.

TGIF was never your thing, until this one. Your cowboy walked in with a package, his address dutifully scribbled out. He opens it and out comes the sheet of temporary tattoos.

"Oh, someone's been watching me for some time, huh. Can't get enough of me inked. Well, I aim to please, so let's get this show on the road.". Beercan undresses to his boxers and starts examining the tattoos.

"Whoever picked these out is one creative motherfucker. I like them.". He starts showing them off to the camera, chuckling about the "save a horse, ride a cowboy" and subsequently the "don't ride a horse, but I'm hung like one". But one in particular makes him tick.

"Your throat goes here? Really, sweetheart? You expect me to walk around with that, to make you all see it as I stroke my cock for you? Fuck it, it's my job to give you a good show." He peels off two of those and places them on the space between his thumb and pointer finger. Was he? He was. Thicktexanbeercan was gonna live up to his name, by using both hands to jerk off.

He's fast, wanting this to end. His Friday shows weren't that popular, so no use milking it. Now, on Saturdays, that's when most people tune in. It's better to save his stamina for then. But you and the chat had other plans. You had mobilized them as he was busy answering questions earlier. Now, he would get enough tokens for a cumshot. Maybe Joel really aims to please. So he goes for it, double orgasm, sure. Then, as soon as that one's over, another. He barks at the chat that he doesn't like being bossed around like that. But you have him cumming until he's shooting blanks. After he just shuts off the stream and goes to bed after running a wet towel on his stomach, to wipe off the cum.

Less than 8 hours later, there's a constant ring of his doorbell. He opens and you're standing there, looking so fuckable his cock stands to attention. You're wearing a skimpy outfit and your lips are shiny with a pinkish gloss. But that doesn't stop him from wondering why you're gracing his doorstep like an angel sent straight from hell.

“I need help picking out a present for my dad.” You say.

“Sweetpea, I know you've been away for a while, but that doesn't change the fact that your dad's birthday isn't for months.” he replies.

"I know. It's not for that. I fucked up and broke something of his. Can you help me?" You ask.

"Sure, what do you need from me?" He counters.

"I think I wanna be stereotypical and get him something stereotypically dad-like. Like a craft beer, something he can crack open with the boys. And since you're "the boys," I'm here. Need a recommendation for a thick Texan beercan." You watch him react. He twitches like a rabbit spooked by a stick snapping.

"So you know. But I'm sure your parents wouldn't be thrilled by the fact that you're watching porn. Have you ever donated, I wonder. Bought something with their hard earned money. Straight from your father's wallet to your daddy." Joel counters, not missing the way your eyes glaze over when he calls yourself your daddy. But you are not won over so easily.

"You're a liar. Late 40s, my ass. Late 40s when you last had to change your ID or what? I could expose you. I'm sure the girlies and the rest watching you would love to know they were scammed. Tinder swindler, but worse."

"What do you want?" He tries.

"As Lana del Rey said, put me in the movie. Let me be in a video." You demand.

"Come back at night, around 9. Get something to cover your face too. Don't need someone recognizing you." He says.

You follow his instructions like an obedient puppy. You make up excuses to your parents. Your cunt's shaved, your outfit is complete and you're not wearing underwear. Joel drags you in, literally. He looks at the pink cowboy hat you have in hand and chuckles.

"No saying my name, preferably not saying much. Just follow my lead, and I'll make you feel good. If you wanna stop, what do you say?" He lists clinically.

"Light beer," you say, acknowledging the pun behind his moniker. You should've figured this out way earlier.

He half laughs, half looks disappointed at your bad pun. You know he's gonna get you back for this , sooner or later. You just desperately hope it's with his dick.

Joel starts the stream. He makes you sit in his chair as he gets a bit closer to the camera. You can see him, mic clipped to chocker and all. He speaks to his chat, introducing you as a "special cowgirl guest.".

"Bet you all wanna take her place. I'm sure she can tell you all about it. If she can speak after I'm done with her anyway." He continues. You wanna protest, to bite back with a comment. But he crawls between your legs, placing kisses up to your pussy. And you are speechless. The fact that you can see him, dark brown eyes and gorgeous roman nose is too much. He's even revealing the top of his greying hair. You grip it and bring him closer to your center. He chooses to lick and suck your clit instead and you moan so loud, even the felt of your hat doesn't muffle it.

"Gonna make you extra wet so you can take my cock, doll. Would you like that?" He asks and you reply with "yes, daddy". You can hear him extra crisp, the audio bouncing around the room. It's all too much, every fantasy of yours coming to life. You come against him, riding it out.

"You ready for more, my little fuckdoll? Can I?" He asks. You plead, you tell him you need him.

Joel makes sure to zoom the camera to your sopping cunt, showing you off to the chat. He fiddles with it, making sure it captures your greed. He sits on the chair, swatting your ass to get you up. Legs trembling, you do. He unzips his jeans, the sound as familiar to you as a notification on your phone. He puts it against you, just to give his viewers a preview on how deep he was gonna be in you.

"You think I'll fuck her up. Make this pussy memorize the shape of my cock. Let's give this pretty doll her first cervix bruising, shall I?" He says. He slides his cock in you in one swoop motion, not caring about the stretch.

"Just like that." You moan, dangerously close to saying his name. Joel spreads your legs and fucks into you. He's all grunts and swears, gone is his dirty talk. His hands are grabby, squeezing your thighs. He's so pussy whipped that he says

"Let me come inside you. Please. Need to.". The "yes, yes, daddy" is enough for him to do so and continue thrusting in you until he's soft. Joel rolls the chair forward, "manually zooming" his camera. His audience gets a pretty shot of his cum dripping out of you before the broadcast cuts out. He helps you up and draws a bath. If the camming paid for the clawfoot tub you saw, hell you'd join in more.

"You know, what we did was wrong. But it sure as hell felt right. I'm not saying we should do this daily. But maybe instead of both of us getting off on each other from afar, we can do it together." He asks, almost a schoolboy confession.

“Yes Joel, I wanna fuck you again too. Now shut and let me enjoy my life after taking your thick Texan beercan.”

[yukicustos]

Hi everyone, I just figured out the images from the last clue on his treat of ‘Bill’s Files’. Not sure if anyone else did it. I haven't seen it somewhere else yet.

It was really a map, for something. I just didn’t know what. I saw the thingy about the doc of the wallpapers, the theory was completely right, the images layer upon one another, but to create a bigger image, I knew it was it. So I went for it just for fun to see if it were like a collage. I connected where they could. 

The first ones are those from the doc on reddit GF, so I have to thank them for their views. After this, the Tree. I knew was the center of the image because, well. It's the page talking of the codes and all.

Then the connection with the thunder. Their heads seem to be drowning, even the tree at some point connects with earth and in some images you have to flip it horizontally. I just had to really look for boards and what in the image continues another. Bill's elbow literally places above the skull, it’’s wayyy too perfectly placed. Here some clues:

Also the mini story at the right side>>>

here appears to me the nightmare realm and how he’s dreaming of being somewhere else, singing we’ll meet again. remember: the place between realities is black and white. the image is black and white.

It seems here he’s cutting reality.

andd here. seems like he got it straight to the ‘physical world’ in a joyride slide.

Pure terror, to make these layers just give us more profound visual motifs of the layered universe and all.

Within the full image, we also have a mini story. There are two moons. (Moons are connected to our creative world.) Showing to us two different perceptions/awareness/universes. Whatever you feel most comfortable with; the Mindscape Realm Moon and the Nightmare Realm Moon. It starts with Fiddleford, using the gun to make him forget just like what we saw happen to Bill by being erased. We thought. But then, he uses the backdoor through the voidness. (Consciousness is also referred as the infinite ocean, all connected.) Bill explains to us a little bit in his book. And he talks of the Atlantis chapter implying he had made us forget about. Actually we had forget it loong time ago. It is just things in the depths of our universal consciousness.

The fourth state of consciousness is a state of awareness that transcends the waking, dreaming, and deep sleep states. It's also known as Turiya, which is a Sanskrit word that means "the fourth".

This backs up one theory of mine that Euclydia to being a state of awareness/consciouness, they got higher into those other realms. That’s why we see ‘LIFE FORM NOT FOUND’. I have a huge theory but I can only talk about this image right now.

The heads seems to point to it. And the part where he has a card up his sleeve, he had the idea of other parallels universes, it seems. But well, this is his seeing through other windows/people's eyes talking. A light bulb. A idea. Remember, beyond this full scope, there are the Cuckoo House that’s hiper realistic, and what is seems to be motifs of life and death. If he learned anything from Theraprism, to fullfil or least being able achieve some of his 'plan'. He has to humble down and pass through the reincarnation process. The images doesn’t say it, but he’s pointing at a bunker. Near there’s the message ‘KOOK’ putting in the website is literally the clue for the image, a big Cipher. Not in actual way he is now as we know it, but to be bigger/different/take another form. To being able to properly be here, he has to see the Bigger Picture.

idk if there’s a code or how to put it into the website so, if it is a code, someone pls could tell me because this is a clear reference to the computer.(i tried, not working, i know it points to other code of the stan twins but ???)

if there's any typo/grammar mistake i'm not native of this language so thks and ily for reading until this point<3

[adachimoe]

the origin of chie's galactic punt (and other nonsense)

in an old, old, ancient dev q+a from a feature on their website called "atlus express", hashino answered some questions that users had submitted.

chie's galactic punt

in japanese, the party's follow-up attacks don't have unique names like they do in english. e.g. chie's galactic punt is just called "chie's follow up attack" in japanese. but when chie uses it, her jp va goes, "doooon!", meaning like, "boom".

a fan asked why chie is the only one who has an insta-kill move while the others can only crit? and hashino replied that someone on the battle team saw chie's design, and thought that chie looked the most likely to go boom on something. and since she doesn't use a bladed weapon, the thought process went, well what if she just kicked something as hard as possible?

initial personas

personas were selected from japanese myth and culture, based on each character's story. for example, yukiko's is konohana sakuya, who falls in love with a prince.

(if you've never read soejima's design works comments about the gang's personas, he explains a lot of his design thought process as well. like yosuke would hear the name jiraiya and think rogue with a heart of gold -> hero (what his shadow dunks him over) -> heroes have red scarf.)

where does nanako grocery shop?

since junes is so far away, she probably usually shops in the central shopping district. she probably always gets freebies/deals/etc a lot.

how far is inaba from the protag's home city?

the protagonist changes trains a bunch and the fare seems kinda high. when hashino and the team researched for inaba's setting, they went to a place around 2 hrs by train from tokyo, which he considers close. (this is referring to the city of fuefuki.) however, he believes the inaba in the story must be much further than just a 2hr train ride.

(i found this answer interesting because there are definitely people who say that "fuefuki is inaba". pls these games take place in "magicalfictionalcity, japan")

about the protagonist's shadow / true self / other side

the protagonist is more or less the player, and though the protagonist doesn't reveal his other side during the game, it could be said that the personality of the player behind the controller *is* his other side. through the various options the player makes in-game, perhaps the player might have shown their true self to the game world?

(hell fucking yeah i showed my true self when i protected adachi and burned the letter.)

[jeio-kimi]

Lost In Translation

A deep dive into the widespread misinformation of 19 Days (19天) prod. By: Old Xian (Old先)

Part: 1

Part: 2

Hello! 19 days readers! How many times have you and I seen this online?

"19 days takes place in the past when all of the characters are in middle school."

"I've been reading 19 Days online, and I just found out that they're all 15 year olds??!"

"What? They don't look like they're in middle school."

Many people within the 19 Days Fandom seem to believe in two important details about this story: 1. This story is a flashback. 2. The flashback of this story takes place when the characters are in middle school.

However, while it is provably canonical that the story we are reading is majorly in the past. The ages of the characters have never been specified by the creator of the web series Old Xian. In fact, there is more evidence directing towards an older age for the main characters than the one perceived by most readers. But why is this the case? If the story itself shows the readers what the ages should be assumed to be, why would so many people assume a completely different age? This confusion is mostly caused through the mistranslation of the readers.

Now, while it should be stated that 19 Days has no official English translation at this time. The fandom's appointed English translator, "Maomaozaii" (on Twitter), has never stated within the translation of a chapter, nor off script the canonical ages of the characters. So where is this "they're all 15 year olds" claim derive from?

Here's what I've fround:

19 Days: Chapter 45

In what is probably one of the most perplexing chapters of the series, Our main character Zhan Zheng Xi, explains that his best friend Jian Yi had disappeared after the second day of high-school began. Jian Yi explains in a "flashback" sequence that he was kindaped to an island by two strange men, which Zhan Zheng Xi has a hard time believing.

This has lead to the majority of the fandom assuming that the story of 19 days takes place before Jian Yi was kindaped. When the two boys would have been in middle school.

However this idea can be quickly debunked when continuing to the next chapter.

It is never stated how long Jian Yi was gone for, but what is stated is that both boys are still in high-school after Jian Yi returns.

After showing back up to Zhan Zheng Xi house, Jian Yi works on homework and expresses that he wants to attend the same university as Zhan Zheng Xi when he graduates. The chapters after Jian Yi's return continue with the two's daily life in high-school with no reference of taking place in the past. Due to this I can be assured that the story is taking place contemporarily.

19 Days Wikia

Now I'm sure most of us understand why "Wiki" & "Wikipedia" pages are not considered reliable sources, I will explain just incase. Fandom "Wiki" and "Wikipedia" itself are pages of a website that can be created and edited by anyone with a wiki account. These accounts are not moderated and not verified by the site owners. Meaning, any information released on the web pages are not from official or trusted sources, and shouldn't be taken as authentic. The 19 days Wikia, makes claims of canonical information that has never been specified by the creator, within or outside of the web series. Along with this, the web page itself is entirely outdated, only having coverage of the series up to chapter 210. As well as other false information.

19 Days: Chapter 122

This chapter introduces the infamous "3rd Year" label on the lockers next to He Tian and Jian Yi. Most people will see this and try to surmise what "3rd Year" refers too. So let's talk about the Chinese school system.

"3rd Year" in this instance can refer one of two Grade levels: "Chu-3" (9th Grade) or Gao-3 (12th Grade). The assimilation by viewers that believed that Jian Yi is still in middle school with Zhan Zheng Xi that the "3rd Year" label refers to "Chu-3" making all of our main characters 9th graders. However, as I stated earlier, it is shown to us that Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi are both still in high-school when he returns. Which if the label refers to "Gao-3" or 12th Grade this would also make since. If Jian Yi gets kindaped the second day of 10th grade (second day of high-school), disappears for two years, then comes back, it would make him a 10th grader. Which would make the most sense following what is shown to us within the story. I will STRONGLY note; that neither, Jian Yi nor He Tian interact with the side the lockers labeled "3rd Year" are on. So, it's possible that it's not even in reference to their grade level.

So... what are their ages?

Continues in:

Part: 2

[babycharmander]

TW ANTISEMITISM. THERE WILL BE DEPICTIONS OF ANTISEMITIC ARTWORK AND TEXT IN THIS POST.

Okay so, this is not the kind of post I normally make, ever, nor a sort of post I ever wanted to make. But this is an incredibly important issue that goes beyond fandom stuff, and I've talked with a few other people about it to confirm that it is something concerning.

I want to start by saying that I am not Jewish, but I know that you should never let antisemitism get its foot in the door. (If anyone who reads this is Jewish and needs to correct me on anything, please do so immediately.)

This was posted to the tags yesterday:

[ID: A screenshot of a post from @/liu4ka. The caption at the top reads "well he looks at me / and i look at him / and then he smiles" in very small, stylized text. The image below is artwork of Otto, facing right, with his eyes squinted and his mouth in a skewed, toothy grin, with his hands held up in a strange way. /end ID]

This picture looks perfectly fine at first glance... but the thing is, that caption you see there was not the original caption. I managed to get a screenshot of it before it was changed, and the original caption was this:

[ID: A screenshot of the original caption of the above post, which reads "well he looks at me / and i look at him / and then he smiles like sly jew" /end ID]

That's... a weird way to describe a smile. I'd wondered if this was referencing something, and apparently the first two lines are lyrics from a Weird Al song, but the third line is definitely not. That was making alarm bells ring in my mind, along with the pose Otto was in (which I'll explain in a moment).

Still, I wanted to give this user the benefit of a doubt, because it's entirely possible to unknowingly say something that sounds Bad. So I looked at their other account on VK (which is a Russian website that is, as I understand it, similar to Facebook--they have the same name there and post some of the same art). It didn't take me long before I found... this (photo taken with the google translate app). (I hate sharing this, but I need to show proof here):

[ID: A photo of a computer screen taken from the Google Translate app. It features a character facing right, with their eyes narrowed and with a toothy grin on their face and their hands clasped in a specific way in reference to the "happy merchant" Nazi meme. The caption reads "SCARY JEWISH MUSIC PLAYS." /end ID]

It's not in the screenshot here, but the post this was in also had a song linked with it whose title directly referenced the "happy merchant" meme.

If you're not familiar with that meme, please look it up, as I'm NOT comfortable putting that image on my blog. But it's an image people should be familiar with because it is VERY FREQUENTLY referenced by white supremacists and nazis, and that's what's being referenced here.

Obviously not every single piece of art with a character giving a sly look is going to be a reference to that meme, but CONTEXT is important. The Otto image isn't posed exactly like the meme--the hands are not the same--but alongside the original caption AND given the other art this same artist has drawn, I don't think there's any room for doubt here.

What also doesn't help the case is that there was misinformation going around that Otto was canonically Jewish, so I don't think any of this is coincidental.

I feel awful writing this stuff up. I never wanted to make a post like this, but this was a case where I felt like I should not remain quiet. Once again, this is something that goes beyond fandom. Antisemitism is not something you ever, EVER want let through the door, ANYWHERE. I do not want it in this community, and you shouldn't either.

If any member of the Jewish community wants to correct me on anything or add to this, please do so.

Thank you.

[nereidprinc3ss]

hi, I'm a huge fan of your work, and I just saw that you had the link to decolonize palestine on your intro post (since you just posted a new one). I had read the website before, as a jew (who had been told different information but wanted to double check my info) and I found some of it really questionable. so I decided to research it a bit. obviously, feel free to do your own research, I actually encourage it, but here is a tumblr post that seems? to pretty well explain how wildly antisemitic that website is (i did not fully vet the post, but given what I know of jewish history, it seems to fit). I'm all for being pro-palestine and there are a ton of good resources out there, however, this website does not seem to be one of them.

obviously, it's up to you if you want to keep it or not, or even outright ignore this ask, but there has been a lot of misinformation going around, and in case this was your main source of information, I wanted to let you know that you should maybe cross reference it.

https://www.tumblr.com/arandomshotinthedark/743280738106998784/decolonize-palestine-is-a-terrible-source-that?source=share

Hello!! I read that post and some of the comments and reblogs as well as other posts by the original poster and while it does seem like the decolonize Palestine might have source issues and skip over sections of history I don’t think the post or blog you linked is any more reliable of a source. In the comments/reblogs alone I found posts which discredited major points it made, clarifying that “pink washing” is actually a term INVENTED by pro Palestine Israeli activists and that BDS discredited the Boston branch for the mapping project which is a separate thing from BDS. Those two facts, one of which the OP acknowledged in reblogs but did not change in the original post because it was “still in the realm of bad” make me hesitant to trust 100% of their information, and also because stuff like ancestral heritage/who can claim what as their homeland is contentious and Im not equipped/qualified to discuss it or evaluate it by any means. I took a look through that blog and found some of the ways it talked about Gaza and the genocide to be suspect. Specifically when they said they see the appeal of Israel because Judaism is the “dominant culture” there. They said photos of the atrocities happening in Gaza are just a way to make you angry so you’re more susceptible to Hamas propaganda and that they discourage “higher thinking.” They didn’t seem to indicate any solidly anti genocide stances which makes me think they are no more unbiased than decolonizepalestine is, just in the opposite direction. What went implied but unsaid is that anti-Zionism=anti-semitism, with which I disagree when your anti-Zionist views are based on your human rights views. I do think some anti-semites have embraced this as an opportunity to be flagrantly anti Jewish but this is not the full story of anti Zionism and is not true of most anti Zionists.

Regardless it seems like maybe that’s not a perfect website to link because it erases some relevant history but I just thought I’d let you know that blog to me is quite dog whistley. Also to anyone who might be considering it Im not interested in fighting in my inbox and I simply won’t engage. Pls do send alternative suggestions for links I could put there maybe to better sourced sites or a compilation of vetted fundraisers!! Thank you

[morbidsmenagerie]

Scientific Literacy and Stray Cat Policies

Or how to read scientific papers and interrogate claims for accuracy.

I said in my previous post I eventually wanted to write something about how to read scientific papers and how to be aware of the ways a lot of credible sites summarize papers in a way that is misleading or inaccurate. Well since the topic came up yesterday now I've finally motivated myself to make this post so this is it. Although this is a bug blog, I will be focusing on specific claims made about cats because the way that scientific papers are used to affect policy is more direct and focusing on cats makes this topic more approachable and widely relatable.

I will be formatting this through the lens of finding a claim made on a site that has a citation, and how to read the original paper and compare it to the claim that the site is making. This I think is most applicable in everyday life. I'm also not a researcher or in academia, but I want to present this information as how to read a paper as a layman on a topic you don't have experience in. Hopefully by the end of this you'll have a greater sensitivity to statements made by secondary or tertiary articles, and you'll be more inclined to investigate information to it's source.

The other reason why I'm focusing this post on cats is because I ended up taking a deep dive into the policies we have about cats and how those policies are scientifically backed. We found a cat we had reason to believe was a lost pet a few months back, and we took him to a shelter so they could hold him while the owner was tracked down. During this, we were told the shelter doesn't take healthy cats, and that the policy was to put any cat you find back where you find it and "keep an eye on it", and the shelter would only take it if it was actively sick, injured, or starving.

This policy was based on guidance from the National Animal Care and Control Association.

We'll get to this is a second. Another shelter nearby that we tried had a similar policy, and their website included this graphic to explain that "When a cat is found outside, healthy and free from immediate danger, it is far more likely to return to its owner on its own."

This graphic has a source here, and we can see that it's one of the same sources used in the NACA findings.

The NACA findings consist of these main points:

Impoundment of healthy adult cats reduces the likelihood of reuniting families with pets

Impoundment of healthy adult cats may disproportionately impact under-served and marginalized communities

Impoundment has the potential to increase cat populations and impact

Impoundment fails to resolve the inciting factors for nuisance situations

Impoundment of healthy free roaming cats reduces capacity to respond to critical community needs

From the site, we have these references listed:

I'm going to focus on the first two points for space. The first two points seem to be the bulk of the argument for releasing found pets back outside and TNR is a whole other thing I don't really want to get into currently. Let's look at the first two references, which are describing lost pet cats and their owner's search and return methods.

This is the first reference, "Search and Identification Methods that Owners use to find a lost cat".

Scientific papers typically start with an abstract. The abstract is not the only thing you should read when looking at a scientific paper. The abstract is a summary that I like to think of more of a keyword organizer, it will briefly describe what the paper is about, what the author did, and what the author thinks the results of the experiment show. This paper shows the parts of the abstract very well, because instead of just a paragraph to sum up the whole thing it's broken down into sections.

So we can see the purpose of this study was to look into how owners were looking for their lost cats, and what aids in cats being found. The study was conducted through a telephone survey, and the results show a breakdown of recovery methods that led to a cat being found. One of the things that immediately sticks out to me in this section is the first line that states "73 of the 138 (53%) cats were recovered". So right away we can see that the NACA site that claims that "In fact, the most successful reunification method for cats is the cat returning home on its own." is a misleading statement, while the majority of cats that were found returned home on their own, most of the lost cats were never found at all. Saying 66% of the cats that were found came home on their own is ignoring the fact that it's 66% of the total number of found cats, but only 34% of the total number of lost cats. Another thing that sticks out to me is the statement that "Only 26 of the 138 (19%) cats had some type of identification at the time they were lost." and that "Owners allowed 82 (59%) cats to spend at least some time outdoors". So the survey was done on a group of cats where a bit more than half were allowed to roam outside and a vast majority had no identification on them. Immediately I would assume that has an effect on how they were recovered, stray cats and indoor/outdoor cats are pretty common and people don't tend to immediately assume a cat they found outside is lost. And without an identification tag, anyone who did find the cat would not be able to return it to it's owner. The conclusions the author draws is also not that shelters should deny the intake of stray cats, but that we should "educate owners about the importance of identification and the need to keep cats indoors".

Let's look at the rest of the article though.

The next section is the Materials and Methods section. Depending on the paper you don't always need to read this, it will describe how the author collected the data, usually includes some information about the statistical relevance, or describe how the experiment was performed. Sometimes this section can highlight implicit biases in the way the data was collected, for example in this paper it states that "The study population consisted of a cohort of cats that had been identified as missing by their owners through placement of an advertisement in the lost-and-found portion of the classified section in the Dayton Daily News or through contact with 1 of the county’s 3 animal agencies". So they only surveyed people that posted a lost cat ad in the paper or directly contacted the shelter about their lost cat. This would exclude anyone that looked for their cat or put up lost cat posters but didn't happen to contact the shelter or run an ad, and the people who didn't look for their cat at all but just assumed the cat ran away. Biases like this are important to be aware of when interpreting the results of a paper, even if they don't have an apparent effect on the results.

Then we come to the Results section, which essentially gives the data as it was collected with no interpretations or conclusions applied. This section has a bit more about the specifics of the methods used, how long it took cats to be recovered, and whether or not having an identification tag made a statistic difference.

Last is the Discussion section, which is where the author interprets the results and draws a conclusion based on that. This is an important section to read because it usually gives some insight into what the authors think the data means. Obviously even researchers aren't infallible, but the authors have a lot more context and knowledge on the subject the paper is about and this can be helpful if you're reading a paper on a topic you're unfamiliar with. In this instance there isn't a lot of technical knowledge that's needed to understand the paper which is part of the reason why I chose to write about cat shelter policies.

In the discussion section, the author writes "These results may, in part, be due to the fact that no animal control laws related to cats existed at the county level in Ohio at the time of the study and that no identification was required for cats. There is tremendous debate as to whether cat licensing or mandatory identification is effective in reducing the cat overpopulation problem and whether owners of cats would comply with such laws." It is important to note that the paper still noted that there was only a small difference in returning cats with identification and that even in states where identification and microchipping is mandatory, although the return rates from the shelter for cats in states that require identification was higher than in Ohio where it's not required, the number was still much lower than it is for dogs. The author also notes that people generally take longer to contact their animal shelters about lost cats, and there was no mandatory holding period for stray cats at the time of the study but most agencies held stray cats for 3 days, which might have caused some of the lost cats to be euthanized before the owner contacted the shelter. Ultimately the author concludes that "we believe the present study illustrates the importance of educating owners about providing identification for their cats. We also believe the present study points to the need to continue to encourage owners to keep their cats indoors....Veterinarians can play a key role in educating owners on the health and safety reasons for keeping cats indoors and the importance of identification. Given that 56 of the 138 (41%) cats in the present study reportedly were not allowed outdoors, it is important to educate owners of indoor-only cats on the importance of identification and the potential risk that these cats will escape and become lost." The author does not seem to be concluding that because most of the cats that were found returned on their own, it is therefore better to leave stray cats outside. Instead the conclusion seems to be that people should be better about having identification tags on their cats, that they should contact the shelter early when they suspect their cat is lost and be proactive about following up with their shelter, and that cats should be kept indoors.

Let's look at the second study, the "Frequency of Lost Dogs and Cats in the United States and the Methods Used to Locate Them". One of the authors in this paper is the same author from the previous paper, Linda Lord. This doesn't necessarily mean anything but it's important to keep in mind if a website is citing multiple articles but the articles all come from the same author or data. I've even seen a website cite multiple sources, but when looking at these sources, all the sources were based on the same paper, which is also important to consider. If for example a website cites another website that talks about a paper and cites the paper itself as a different source, then it looks like there are two different sources for the information when really there's just one.

This paper's abstract is a lot more concise, with regards to cats it says "75% (95% CI: 64–85%) of cats were recovered...For cats, returning on their own was most common...Cats were less likely than dogs to have any type of identification. Knowledge of the successful methods of finding dogs and cats can provide invaluable help for owners of lost pets. Since 25% of lost cats were not found, other methods of reuniting cats and their owners are needed. Collars and ID tags or humane trapping could be valuable approaches." Right away we notice that the recovery percentage of cats is a lot higher than in the previous study, but that 25% is still a large percentage of cats that were never recovered. This is particularly interesting because this is the paper that the shelter cited on their website as the source for the information on their graphic about cat recovery, but again we can see the exclusion of the number of cats that weren't found is misleading.

From the Methods section, we can also see that the respondents to the survey in this paper were randomly called, and that they were asked about pets that had become lost within the last 5 years. This removes the bias of the previous paper of selecting only for people that used a local ad or went to the shelter to search for a lost pet.

The results are presented here largely as just the raw data in an Excel sheet, so I'm going to skip over to the Discussion section. In the discussion section, they say that "The definition of lost pets used in this study deliberately was designed to be broad so that owners of pets would include any time they were concerned about the absence of the pet from the home". The authors recognize that this could cause a discrepancy where there was no set time frame for how long a pet was lost for before the owner considered them lost, and they realized that people would respond to the survey under circumstances where other people might not consider the pet lost, and that allowing the pet to roam or be indoor-outdoor would change when or if the owner considered the pet lost.

The author also notes that "We did find that lost neutered pets, lost pets belonging to respondents with more education, and lost cats belonging to respondents with higher income were more likely to be reunited with their owners. This could be due to different behaviors of neutered pets or to different behaviors by owners of neutered pets. Since households with higher owner education and income levels were more likely to have neutered pets, these results could be due to some complex inter-relationships, which we were not able to study further due to our limited samples size. This does suggest future avenues for investigation evaluating other pet-keeping and health variables and their associations with human lifestyle and demographic variables." This paragraph appears to be the source of the claim from the NACA that sheltering healthy cats disproportionately affects marginalized communities. The statement the NACA makes about "Only ~40 % of people in the lowest income bracket (<$30,000 annual income) that lost cats were reunited with them, compared to > $90% reunited for those making $50,000 or more per year" seems to be based on this paper, but the actual data to back this up is presented as such:

So for people making less than 30k$ per year, 8 of the cats were found vs the 11 who weren't found, which does make about 40% found. The 90% seems to be based on adding up all the found vs unfound cats for people in the above 50k$ range, so 25 total found cats vs 1 cat that was not found. This makes 96%, which is >90% but I guess it's a bit too high of a percentage to seem accurate. It's also possible they added in the Don't Know category, I'm not sure exactly what they looked at to get the 90% number. The point is that the statement about taking cats into shelters affecting marginalized communities is a statement based on a total of 50 cats (excluding the 30-49k bracket) which the authors of the paper say is not enough data to make a definitive statement about.

The NACA website also points to the low usage of shelters through a program designed to reach low income communities, and the authors of the paper state that "Since the majority of cat owners that lose and do not recover their cat did not search at the animal shelter, there is likely an opportunity to increase messaging regarding this option as a search method for cat owners...These results may suggest that a proportion of “stray” pets in shelters are actually lost as opposed to abandoned by their owners. Lost pets in shelters may not be reunited with their owners if the owners do not know that there is a shelter that might have their pets." It seems that low usage of shelters and the extended time cat owners take to reach out to their local shelters does contribute to the low number of cats that are recovered from shelters, but to say that because of this cats shouldn't be kept at a shelter at all seems to be backwards. More education about shelter services and encouraging pet owners to utilize their shelter more and reach out earlier when their pet is lost would likely improve pet recovery from shelters. If shelters made it a policy to not hold pet cats then obviously people would not reach out to shelters to recover a cat since it is likely that the cat in question would not be at the shelter.

The author concludes "Animal shelter staff and veterinarians can provide a valuable service by making available information on how owners of lost pets can best find their pets. They could also help owners find their pets by instituting matching of reported lost pet records with reported found pet records. Veterinarians might offer microchip and identification tag clinics for community pet owners and be sure their own clientele’s pets have microchips, collars and personalized identification. Veterinary clinics and animal shelters could have a list of resources and options for advertising for lost pets; some local papers will publish a lost pet ad free and many shelters have lost and found sections. Local veterinary associations could support advertisements for lost pets...Since 25% of lost cats were not found, other methods of reuniting cats and their owners are needed. It is possible that collars and ID tags or humane trapping could be valuable and more work is needed to determine this. Veterinarians and animal welfare professional can play a key role in helping pet owners if their dogs or cats become lost by guiding owners to use active methods to find lost pets, particularly within the owners’ neighborhoods." Again, we see a distinct lack of suggestion that the conclusion of the paper is since most cats that are found returned home on their own, the best policy for shelters to have is to not accept any stray cats. The suggestion from the author is about further education on the importance of identification, guiding pet owners to more effective methods of searching for their pets, and maintaining lost and found pet records.

Both of these articles are presumably used to support the claim from the NACA site that states "Lost cats are 10-50 times more likely to be reunited with their owners if they stay in the neighborhood of origin than through an animal shelter. In fact, the most successful reunification method for cats is the cat returning home on its own". Based on reading through these two articles, they seem to be combining first article which states that 48 (66%) of the cats came home on their own vs the 5 (7%) which were found at the shelter and the second article which says 32 (59%) of the cats came home on their own vs the 1 (2%) cat that was found at the shelter. Again we can see that this claim is misleading based on the data it's sourced from, the sample size is very small and there were other factors stated in both cases that contribute to the low use of animal shelters in returning cats.

Based on these two articles, the NACA has concluded that shelters should not take in healthy stray cats. This includes cats that have evidence of being owned and lost, or evidence of being abandoned and adoptable. The cat we found had a microchip, but the phone number listed on the microchip was disconnected and the address listed had been recently moved into and the current tenant was receiving old mail from the owner listed on the microchip. Because of this, we had solid reason to believe this was a pet cat that had been lost or abandoned, and yet still the shelter was using a misleading policy written on the basis of obfuscating the actual suggestions the author made in the article it cites.

By finding the original source of these claims, and reading what the source article says, how the data was collected for the source article, and how the author of the source article interpreted this data, we can improve the way we engage with claims and facts presented on various websites and media outlets. This is going to be a two part series (at least) with the second part discussing claims on outdoor cat health, but I hope this was enough to encourage you to read the scientific articles that are at the source of a lot of policy decision and public perceptions.

Part 2

[crotchety-old-emu]

OLITDP chapter 24 references

as i mentioned in my author's notes of the chapter, there's a few references that i would like to share with those who are interested in them. you don't need to know about them to understand what's going on in the story, obviously, but perhaps it's nice to have some visual aids to go with some of the things that are happening.

if you haven't read the latest chapter yet, and you want to remain spoiler free, it's best to skip this post (or perhaps come back to it later). you can find chapter 24 of our love is these days' piano here!

so here's a short list of things that might be interesting - but definitely not necessary - to know about chapter 24:

penelope's dress at the trowbridge ball is a silvery sea green. the one i had in mind was kind of like this one, from the season three behind the scenes pics. nicola looks stunning in green, especially with the red hair. i found beatrice knight's regency color compendium, a stunning overview of all the fashionable colours of fabric in the regency era, with some fantastic descriptions of how they were made and when they were worn. the willow/sea green colour shown on this page is exactly the hue i was picturing while writing.

lady trowbridge's decorations: i spent days and days researching how lady trowbridge might showcase her wealth and peculiar tastes during this ball, but honestly, i didn't find much info about ballroom decorations and i didn't want to make up things that definitely could not have happened. so i settled on things that i was already fairly certain of were pretty decadent for the era: pineapples and ice cream. after reading up on ice cream in regency times through several sources, i came across the website of ivan day, who is a food historian and has worked on some bbc regency costume dramas. he had a very insightful youtube video on how ice cream was made in those days. in it, he makes one of the ice cream pineapples i mention in the story. ivan day's actual website is under construction, but i found a photo of moulded ice groups, as they were presented in regency times, on another page which was taken from his. it includes ice cream shaped like a swan (which may have been parmesan flavoured, which apparently was a popular ice cream flavour back then).

another food decoration that both eloise and penelope mention is a flummery solomon's temple. i found out about these through watching the bbc documentary pride and prejudice - having a ball, which talks about accurate representation of balls during regency times on television. the part of the doc i'm linking to is the part where ivan day reveals a solomon's temple and explains that this would be a staple on all upper-class tables in those days. the white bits, if i'm not mistaken, are milk-flavoured, the brown is chocolate and/or coffee, the pink is coloured with cochineal.

he also has a page on solomon's temples on his blog, which has a very amusing short clip of how exactly these jellies moved. if you watch it (highly recommend), i'm sure you'll understand why eloise would think it was a good thing to comment on. ivan day himself describes it as:

Because it is made of flummery, which is a kind of opaque milk jelly, the central obelisk wobbles and cavorts in a most entertaining manner, while the four little cones shake, rattle and roll in a very naughty way.

the dance: i must have watched at least fifty different dances that were popular at the time - shoutout to regencydances.org, which not only has a very extensive list of dances, but also a youtube channel and animations showing what the dances would have looked like. i based penelope and anthony's dance on the northdown waltz - which granted, only became a thing from 1820 onwards, so it's technically an anachronism for them to be dancing it. it simply was the only dance that best fit with how i wanted the scene to go. you can find an instruction video on the northdown waltz here. anthony, in this case, would be the red rectangle, penelope the green ellipsis. here's a clip of actual people performing the dance, so you can kind of imagine what it would have looked like. i always knew anthony's confession would happen during a dance, my main inspiration for that was this scene from becoming jane. if you've seen the film, you undoubtedly know exactly which scene i'm talking about without even clicking the link. i remember that when i first saw this part of the film, i stopped breathing for a minute, because it was just such an intense moment, which was exactly what i wanted for anthony's big moment.

there you go, some insight into the tiny things mentioned in the latest chapter that you might perhaps enjoy knowing more about. hope at least some of you found it interesting!

also, i want to mention: i am not a historian, i don't claim that my fic is historically accurate, not in the very least. i try to stick to period-appropriate things, which i do as much research for as i can. but some mistakes will have slipped in there, i am very much aware. so if this is a particular pet peeve for some of the history buffs among you, i apologise.

[ridibulous]

Judas / Choir

Judas: host & body name // Choir: system name (Choir System)

P@yP@l Link // V€nmø Link // C@sh@pp Link because we're broke and society fails us continuously so help always appreciated

♫♪.ılılıllılılı. ♫♪

— body is twenty [20] years old.

— collectively he/him and (when referring to multiple parts/the system as a whole) plural they/them. alternate between first-person pronouns i/me and we/us.

— multiply disabled; autistic DID system, cane user for chronic pain & balance. hard of hearing because auditory processing disorder. we have other issues but I'm not going to list them out lmfao

— intersex genderfluid cistrans man. multigendered like a math equation; cisgender nonbinary, transgender boyflux(man–neutrois)+agender. sometimes butch lesbian on top of that. genderfaunet as a whole I think but it's rlly hard to explain go check out the full hoard here on pronouns.page (link)

Testosterone HRT Jun.1.2023 | Top Surgery Oct.30.2024

♫♪.ılılıllılılı. ♫♪

psst... this is only a basic intro. click below for lots more!

Boundaries and BYF info.

— Feel free to send us asks or DM us. We like messages.

— If we do anything wrong... please just tell us? We're constantly trying to learn and grow for the better.

— We block liberally to curate our online experience. If you make us uncomfortable we won't hesitate to do so, even if you aren't on our below "DNI".

— Folk who apply to our DNI can and will get blocked, including when found in our notifications.

— We also read all of our notifications. Expect the possibility of a response as well when you say something, whether it be in your askbox, a reblog of your reblog, whatever.

— If you say dumbfuck shit in my notifications expecting me to debate you (especially if you're on our DNI!), you're sorely mistaken. I rarely if ever debate or argue because it's worthless time & energy to expend. At least be funny if you're gonna try?

— Please do not interrogate us about our full background, especially if you are a stranger. We literally don't know it all, and more importantly we don't owe you it.

— If you demand our intersex variation(s) you owe us $20. Fund our testing if you insist we need to be diagnosed.

— For the love of humanity if you have a complex typing quirk and are able to, please be willing to translate it into plain English. Obligatory "typing quirks are inherently ableist and refusing to translate is being actively ableist". As a Homestuckie I can understand leetspeak-esque quirks, but if yours is so esoteric I can't easily gleam what your message says it will get on my nerves.

— Please please please understand that if you misinterpret my posts as a stranger I might get passive aggressive. I try not to, this is unfortunately the piss on the poor website, but god damn please use your reading comprehension for a minute before saying something on our posts.

— We do not like being called a "plural". If you enjoy the label, cool. Please don't use it on us.

— Parts/alters (we use both terms interchangably) don't have signoffs by default just cause we don't really see the point here. Everyone who's willing & allowed on here uses tumblr as they wish.

— At this point we're endo-apathetic. Not neutral or pro, I still personally lean towards the anti side just from knowledge & opinions alone, and I do prefer to interact with traumagenic systems regarding systemhood, but truly I can't bother to give a fuck anymore. Don't be someone who spouts blatant misinformation about OSDDID and systemhood and we should be fine.

— We don't usually tag triggers (or much of anything) especially on reblogs. We just hit the funny green button unless the content is particularly compelling enough for us to tag.

— In general we're really sloppy with tags. We've had this blog for years on end, and don't feel particularly inclined to sideblogs. This also means you might stumble upon old posts and/or opinions if you go through our blog. Sorry for any cringe you find /lh

DNI

more of a broad "who we ignore/block" and opinions list. I mean seriously, is a flesh & blood TERF going to listen to this?

in other news, if you don't apply to any of the below, you should follow us! /not forced

— Any type of bigot.

— Radical feminists in general. This includes TERFs, T"I"RFs, SWERFs, febfems, transradfems, etc. We include them under our "bigot" label, but just being thorough. This includes people who have "men DNI" somewhere on their profile. I am a man 🫶

— Any flavor of right-wing nonsense. (conservative, alt-right, neonazi, pro-life, antivax, etc.)

— Anti-Furry. Your life is boring as shit.

— Anti-therian/otherkin/objectum, or any adjacent label.

— Anti-self-shipping, self-inserts, and OC x Canon. Your life is ALSO boring as shit.

— Heavily involved in pro/anti-ship discourse. We are not proship, antiship, or neutral. Do not force any of these labels on us, we do not engage with the discourse seriously. It should be common sentiment that pedophilia(+related i.e necro, zoo), incest, abuse etc. that's publicly romanticized/fetishized as normal or okay is wrong. TL;DR,

[ID: A tumblr screenshot with a grainy filter overlay. It's a post by @/bloodenjoyer posted on May 25, 2023 that reads as follows, "i’m not “pro ship” or “anti ship” i live in the real world + have media literacy + am grossed out by pedophilia which is all pretty standard fare for people who life in the real world actually". /End ID.]

— Queer exclusionists, infighters, and feds (truscum/transmed, anti-contradictory identities, believes aspec aren't inherently queer, doesn't believe transandrophobia is real, attempts to rehash the gender binary i.e. with afab/amab or tme/tma, etc.)

— Not normal about intersex people. Sex is not binary. You cannot "transition to become intersex". Intersex doesn't mean "both sets of fully-functioning genitalia". AFAB doesn't equal müllerian (link) and AMAB doesn't equal wolffian (link). Be a better advocate.

— Pro-radqueer/transx identities.

— Pro-contact paraphiles. (ex. pedophilia, zoophilia, necrophilia)

— Believe in "narc abuse" or other cluster B "abuses".

— Anti-age regression/age dreaming (agere/agedre) or pet regression/pet dreaming (petre/petdre).

— Anti-well researched self-diagnosis.

— Believe RAMCOA/OEA isn't real or purposefully believe conspiracy theories & other disinformation related to it.

— Porn blogs which are centered around hard CNC/rape kink, gore/guro, DDLG & other ageplay (agere/agedre are inherently SFW to us.), raceplay, fat fetish/feederism, and detransition kink.

— If you don't know how to use the block button yourself and shit bricks in our notes/askbox over something trivial. /hj

♫♪.ılılıllılılı. ♫♪

To be updated whenever we feel like it.

[faunastanza]

i found a short comic glip didnt upload to the website for some reason, that i think is the prequel to a moment in a VN where we see krypto in undertown?

https://postimg.cc/gallery/TPW55C3

(you have to check the file names to follow the right reading order, the upload messed it up)

my memory is fuzzy and i cant remember exactly where this comic would be placed in krpto's timeline, i cant remember which VN this could relate to, but i do remember krypto being incapable of leaving undertown (why is he/she there to begin with?)

i also cant understand what krypto did (in-universe, not as a meta stand-in for the victims glip didnt believe) to deserve this, besides being a nuisance by trying to enter adult spaces without permission or something, and i guess he/she was also mean to that fat pink rabbit thing?

i know glip tried portraying krypto as a jerk (at least until that VN where neon and xenon harass him/her), but i cant help feeling sorry for him/her

Thanks for this! This definitely does seem connected to where Q+E Change Storgo started. I'm not sure why Glip didn't include it. From a quick skim through my archives, as far as I can tell Krypto went from hacking into TAL to read about Lunekos straight to being in Undertown with no explanation. If she WAS up to stuff none of us comic-readers got to see it, it was probably all in Glip's discord. I know a lot of stuff about Krypto being molested was in there. That or it was in Cherry Kisses which I personally didn't play, but a friend of mine did. He said Krypto was just a pest and the way to get rid of her was just to give her something more interesting than pestering adults in a sex shop.

She was a brat in the comic and presumably a brat in the game but that's not a crime. Then again she annoyed Papaya/Glip so it's HELL FOR HER

Anyway this comic is interesting so I'm just going to mirror it here in the right order for future reference. Gonna make notes on things that could be relevant.

Similar title to the other VN ERROR: [i don't care] REJECTED, although this one appears to have gone through. The quotation marks around Krypto are also a bit odd. Also why is Krypto naked?

If this is Glip trying to process their childhood trauma, then that could explain trying to reconnect to her. If it's Glip angry about their husband's victims they ignored, then the quotation marks could be mocking. Hard to say. Could also read "with" as MALwire using Krypto as a tool to connect with someone.

lol krypto's face in that first panel

Storgo sort of looks like Story Go with the scribbles like that. Kada I assume is Kadath cut off, the city that got magically dessicated back in the MS Paint VNs when Srinivasa had that argument with that starcat. Also an HP Lovecraft reference.

dr. curse's connection to Dr. Nurse strong here, with the c just a rotated n. I'm not sure what dr. curse's deal is still. I thought maybe they were an RPer but maybe Glip plays them? idk.

Not sure if the implication is that dr. curse molested Krypto or if they're just talking about molestation in a vague way.

Glip loved Purrl dearly, not sure if we're supposed to be sympathize with Purrl here or what, or why Purrl is feeling so aggro towards Krypto.

The mention here of only liking animal dolls reminds me of something Glip said in one of their venting VNs on their porn site about their childhood, they said they drew a lot of Pokemon porn as a minor because they felt safer than real people. Just gives me that vibe.

Krypto being naked through this whole thing is really strange.

Those five things could all easily be related to being abused. It's interesting that Krypto is being manipulated/threatened into trying to talk to someone about her abuse by dr. curse. She really doesn't want to do it. dr. curse wants her to talk about it with someone for their own ulterior motives. Could be related to the idea of Glip's husband's victims being manipulated into talking about their experiences with him publically just to cause Glip pain, because everything is always about Glip at all times.

On the other hand, if Krypto is a stand-in for Glip in this scenario, I'm not sure who dr. curse would be.

We saw some weird symbols like this in the Q+E Change Storgo VN redacting some things Beleth said. It looks like the "haha!" part also came from here.

I think /jointest was how you would start a Scene in the discord.

So here's where it ties into the VN on the site.

No idea who MX. Fingerprick is. Some other version of Hothead I assume. Of note though is that that bag looks like Min's bag of seeds! I'd be excited but Glip is never going to follow-through on those seeds, it's just not going to happen. I'm not falling for it.

And then it just stops! Strange. Not sure what to make of it.

I'm probably in the minority in that I don't mind the music too much, but I have garbage taste in music to begin with. When I'm summarizing one of the VNs though I do turn it off, I can't deal with it for that long lol. The songs with Glip's crying were definitely weird and uncomfortable though.

[consanguinitatum]

David Tennant's Obscure Performances: His Involvement with Read Not Dead (pt 1) - Edward III

A lot of you are aware that for the better part of a decade I've done research on David's early Scottish theatre work (80s/90s). I've found a ton of info and am in slooooow development on a podcast aimed at sharing my discoveries. But not ALL my research lands squarely in those years. I've learned about plenty of DT's theatre projects which fall outside of the years my podcast covers. So it occurred to me - since I'm not planning to do a podcast about those years, why not share some interesting tidbits? Let's dive in! By January of 1999, David was living in London and beginning a two month run at the Almeida's Albery Theatre as Pavel in Vassa (a comic portrait of a powerful iron-willed matriarch who sees her family destroyed by the very values that she seeks to preserve.) So he was busy, yes? Not busy enough, apparently, because he agreed to join thirteen other actors to do a one-off staged reading of a play often attributed to Shakespeare as a co-writer - called Edward III.

David in rehearsal as Pavel in Vassa: Scenes From Family Life, 1999

Edward III was part of a series of performances the Education Department of Shakespeare's Globe Theatre had been doing since the early 1990s called Read Not Dead (heretofore referred to as RND). Their website has this to say about their mission: "Read Not Dead is a multi-decade project run by Shakespeare’s Globe, one in which we plan to perform every single ‘unknown’ play that has survived in print, from the accession of Queen Elizabeth I in 1558, to the closing of the theatres in 1642. Some plays from history deserve to be read, not dead." (By the by, RND is still active today! I encourage you to read more about their mission and the plays they've performed by going to the Read Not Dead website.) Performing in an RND play was a unique challenge for an actor. RND performances were staged readings, so actors didn't do the traditional rehearsals. Instead, they received scripts only a few days ahead of the performance. The project's website explains it like so: "The rules of the project have always been simple, experimental, and completely unique. Whilst approaching one individual play, the group does so within one single day. In the morning, the company meets for the first time and throughout the day they work with a Director and experiment with props and costume. Often music is also composed within the short time-frame, too. By the afternoon, the play is put up on its feet and presented as a script-in-hand performance to a live audience." Additionally, most RND plays were performed on Sundays (traditionally the only day off for most performing actors in the theatre circuit, this made the full day's preparation possible.) These challenges almost certainly appealed to David for a number of reasons: 1) it was a one-off performance with a tight schedule, 2) we all know how he feels about Shakespeare, and 3) the Globe! When an opportunity came for him to play a role in or around that great structure, certainly one imagines he sprung at the chance! So on 21 February 1999, David played the role of Edward, Prince of Wales (aka the Black Prince) at the Globe Theatre Education Centre/Inigo Jones Theatre. The performance was on a Sunday - that day, the group met at 10a for a run-through, and at 3p they went onstage. It was directed by Clive Brill (who - fun fact - has since worked with David on many things, including the radio dramas The Order of Release, The Island, Murder in Samarkand, The Purple Land, and the two part Afternoon Play series Stevenson in Love). Now for a treat. Want to see a page from the programme? Ask, and ye shall receive! (Thanks and credit to the Shakespeare's Globe Archive for the digitized programme, which you can see in further detail here.)

This performance was recorded, and I've actually listened to it! (sadly, the audio is only of the first two acts - for some reason, Acts 3 and 4 are missing.) I found it quite well done, especially considering the short amount of time the company of actors had to rehearse. You can listen to the recording of the performance and others from the series, as the recordings are archived in the Globe Archive and Library in London. Access to the archive is available by appointment only for professionals and academics affiliated with institutions of higher education.

Now.....some astute DT fans might be aware that while Edward III was the first time DT worked with the RND project, it wouldn't be his last. Very true! He was to go on and work with the project three more times. We'll explore those in more detail in future posts.

[im-new-to-french-pls-be-nice]

Heya tumblr, welcome to my blog!

I’ve been interested in my family history my entire life, I’ve been on all of those little family tree websites and whatnot, I know what year my grandfather moved to the US, (1965), I know every single job my other grandfather has ever had, and I practically know my mother’s senior yearbook by heart. So imagine my absolute surprise when I found out that I have an entire great-great uncle that I’ve never heard of. Absolutely wackadoodle shit right there, chat.

So lemme set the stage for you: I’m procrastinating on my final, right? Just kinda switching through tabs & going down an internet rabbit hole about the jersey devil (which fun fact; was apparently a kinda classist propaganda tool meant to target a political family of quakers but I’m not gonna get into that rn) When I get an email from a woman who for the purposes of anonymity, I will refer to as V. V told me that she was a world war 1 historian, and that she had something that belonged to my family. She offered to meet up to hand it over, and I agreed.

So lemme set another stage for you: I walk into the bar we agreed to meet at. It’s a weeknight, so we’re basically the only people there. It’s one of those bars where there’s a ton of fish mounted on the wall, but none of them sing funny songs or move (I asked the bartender if they did and he said no. I’ve never been more devastated in my entire life.) And V is all the way in the corner, sitting at the table. She has that sort of wardrobe where you can’t really tell if she’s goth or just catholic. (maybe she’s both? Goth Catholics of tumblr are you real?) And she looks kinda young-ish? Like early thirties. Not what I immediately think of when I think World War 1 Historian. She’s got an English accent and has the kinda resting expression where you can’t tell if she’s scowling or about to burst into tears. I sit down. She tells me she likes how I smell. (Kinda odd compliment but I’m flattered.) And I tell her I like her hair. She thanks me, and we start talking. She tells me about my great-great uncle who for anonymity reasons I will be calling Jacques, and gives me a briefing about his life.

Jacques was born in rural France in 1899, and was drafted into the war in 1914, along with 2.9 million French men & boys. He was seen last during the battle of Somme, 1916. His body was never recovered or identified.

V is very solemn during this, as if he died recently and not over a century ago. She then places a bundle on the table, alongside a binder. She explains that inside the bundle is Jacques’ wartime diary, and the binder has scans of each page. She explains that it’s so I can read it without risking damage to the actual diary. It’s in French.

And so we skip to today, where I’ve finally decided to get off my ass and translate the diary. I took french as a prerequisite for my Liberal Arts major, but I’m a teensy bit rusty. I have a french dictionary with me that I’m clutching like a crucifix because God knows this is gonna be super hard. I wanna know Jacques story, and I wanna share it with you all. After 108 years of being forgotten, I think it’s the least I can do for him.

This blog will be dedicated to the bit-by-bit translation of my Great-Great Uncle’s Diary. I’ll keep Y’all posted!

-Collie

[sealbirdy]

A long Gravity Falls feelings rant because I am full of emotions rn.

This rant is mostly about my experience with the show and what it meant/means to me as someone who's watched it since pretty much the beginning, not really the show itself. I Also won't go into any plot details of the show or the book.

I just finished reading book of bill, and also with everything happening tonight I'm just so full of emotions, I just need to get it out somewhere.

First of all, the moment I found out about the whole website thing that's happening, I was already super hyped. I felt like I was back in my teenage years eagerly waiting what's happening next and theorizing with other people about what's goin on. Even my boyfriend commented that it was nice to see me so excited about something (I've been having kinda a hard time lately so this was a nice surprise for tonight). Then someone gave me a link to a pdf file that had the whole book of bill and my night just got better. I do want to get the actual book at some point too, but I don't really have the money rn.

At first I was just kinda reading the book quietly to myself, but then there was something that made me laugh so much I wanstd to readi it for my boyfriend too, and ended up reading almost the whole book to him out loud. I skipped a few parts (my eyes couldn't focus and some of the pages in the pdf file were kinda blurry) But I'm going to read the whole thing once I get my hands on the actual book). My boyfriend was aware of gravity falls existence before and had seen a few episodes, but wasn't really in the fandom like I was growing up. (I made him watch it with me after we started dating though and he liked it).

I had so much fun and got really into character while reading out loud. I even noticed a couple things that seemed like they could be references to some things that happened in the fandom back in the day, and had to stop reading just to explain them to him lol (I'm so happy to have found someone who would just sit there while I read almost the whole book to him lol and actually seems interested when I explain stuff to him). It was the most fun I'd had in a long time. And then a bit after I had finished the book, I got super emotional over it (I'll explain why at the end of the rant)

I've watched gravity falls since pretty much the beginning. My mother got us disney channel in 2012 and I still remember seeing the first trailers for gravity falls and being intrigued by it immediately. I also remember being super annoyed by episode two because sometimes if felt like it was the only episode they aired lol. Even now when rewatching the series, I still skip it because I got so bord of it as a kid lol. My boyfriend and I share this sentiment and also skipped the episode when we watched gravity falls together. He didn't really watch the show as much in the long run, but even he remembers that episode being shown over an over again and it getting really boring lol.

At one point I started watching the series from online, because it felt like the fastest way to see new episodes (every time I watched disney channel it always seemed to be the same episodes over an over again). I mostly watched them from youtube with bad quality, but I wasn't really aware of other sites to watch it from. I still remember the moment I saw dreamscapers for the first time, because I almost screamed when bill was finally revealed, after wondering about the zodiac wheel image for too long. the quality was horrible, because I was watching it in the middle of the night from my tiny phonescreen, but that moment has stayed in my memory clearly through all these years. Eventually my mom got rid of disney channel (sometime after season 1 ended), which meant I had no choise but to pirate it. It's actually a huge reason why I finally learned english, since obviously the pirate sites and youtube uploads obviously didn't have subtitles in my language. I stayed up so many nights just watching the episodes and at one point always had Sock Opera playing in the background when i finally went to sleep. some of my favorite Christmas presents to this day were a gravity falls necklace and a pillowcase (both had the bill cipher zodiac wheel image on them). I wore that necklace every day and even when i slept for so long, until it broke. the pendant itself fell somewhere and I never found it again. I still have the pillowcase though, and I actually have it on my pillow rn lol. I even felted a bill cipher out of wool at some point (pretty sure I still have that somewhere too).

At that point some of my classmates had started bullying me for liking the show. Well looking back on it I'm pretty sure they had tried bullying me before too, but I never really realized it so it didn't affect me. But since gravity falls was suddenly really important to me, now they could use it against me. It was mostly just them insulting the show and characters in different ways to my face, which as an adult doesn't sound as bad, but to me the show meant everything and they were clearly saying those things to me, because they knew it affected me. But if there's something I'm proud of my younger self for, it's that I never let it affect my love for the show itself, and I never started hiding how much the show meant to me.

I ordered myself journal 3 after I had already moved out. I hadn't really engaged with the series or the fandom in a long time, but the moment I finally held that book in my hands, I felt so much joy. I wanted that book so bad when it first came out, and that moment made my inner child cry of happiness.

And that's kind of what I felt after I finished reading the book of bill today. I really feel like it healed some part of my inner child/teenager. Especially when my boyfriend let me read it to him out loud and I could just get into character while reading. Even though I to get bullied a lot for something that meant the world to me, I can now still enjoy that thing, and even share it with someone who will just sit and listen for like two hours while I read the book to him, and also listen to my side tangents if I something reminds me of some random thing that happened in the fandom (that he wasn't even a part of) back in the day.

There's been multiple shows and franchises I've been obsessed with during my life, but only two have stuck with me in this way through the years. One being Gravity Falls (and the other one fruits basket).

I just feel so grateful rn. Grateful for Alex Hirsch for creating the show in the first place. Grateful for my younger self for continuing to the series even if I got bullied for it. Grateful for my boyfriend for being such an amazing partner. If you read this far, thank you for reading my sleep deprived ramblings lol (it's like 5am so sorry if I repeat some stuff multiple times).

[necroangelz]

💉 if it's okay :3

I wish to learn more about kin memories & how they work, so I wish to hear yours!! (& maybe if you want, could you explain kin memories please n thank u)

I'm happy to help uu learn more !

heres this neat article i found online that explains what kin memories are (aaand today i learned that there's a fictionkin website WOAH /pos) linkie

tell me if uu want me to explain anything further or summarize the info if uu can't read everything right now ^_^

『 💉 』

a kin memory

along with my kin mems I'll also explain to uu how i got them (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

( as Hatsune Miku, in a timeline where i was a robot idol )

if uu didnt know: in fictionkin terminology, timeline refers to the past life uu had as that character basically. the word canon can also be used

once, i escaped the studio-compound-apartment where i "lived" (technically it's the location where i was stored by the company that made me) to go on an unauthorized road trip with the other robot idols (vocaloids). i have a LOT of memories about this little event. the first thing i remembered was that i simply snuck out and went on a road trip with kagamine rin and Len. what sparked me to remember this event was seeing this fanart here:

artist unknown, sorry.

it's quite common for kin mems to be sparked by seeing anything related to the character's media, such as fanart.

when i saw this fanart, one could say i felt a strong impression that we went on a road trip, and we were sitting in a car together just like the fanart. at the time i didn't have any sensory memories to go off of, i just innately knew that it happened. (having a lot of mems that are things uu only innately know are fine too! detailed sensory memories aren't necessary to be a valid kin)

eventually i got another memory, can't remember how, and it was mostly visual. (naturally) it looks like a hazy blur when i think about it, but i know what was happening in that memory anyway: it was nighttime and we were at the beach. rin was holding sparklers. there were many of us robot idols there enjoying our night of freedom. i reflected upon the memory further, wrote about it, shared it with some people, and upon further reflection i was able to make it clearer. i got an auditory memory of Rin's laugh and the sound of the sparklers (i also remembered how rin chased me around the beach lol)

last memory I'll discuss: last year i went on a vacation with my family to go swimming somewhere. being in the car with them and the chaos of the trip gave me an impression that robot idols' road trip was also chaotic. after getting that impression i recalled more memories that matched the impression i got (as in, i got memories that were also chaotic)

I'll ramble a bit more about kin memories and my experience with them

i get kin mems through a lot of ways. interacting with content related to the media, like what i mentioned earlier, is one way. there's also listening to music that reminds me of the kin or my past life as the kin (so basically like character playlists lmao) i heard meditation helps people too but I'm trash at meditation so i only tried it like 2 times and it never rlly did anything > <

sometimes mems come to me when I'm not expecting it either. maybe something happens throughout my day, or i just see something, and i recall a kin memory that's similar to what i saw. it's like my brain was "reminded" of the mem

one example of this is when i was outside and i looked up, and the sky was so blue and beautiful, it was a nice day outside, and i remembered playing outside with my friends as sunny omori ^_^

not all memories that one gets will be pleasant. i myself have a few negative memories. if one is distressed by their negative mems, it's absolutely okay, but one must understand that it isn't their life anymore and they have a choice to not dwell on their past life, past mistakes, etc. who they were in a past life does not define them anymore. i used to be very very affected by my negative memories, I'd just be in a slump for multiple days and i won't stop thinking about the mems, but I'm no longer affected by them

so yeah... i hope all of that made sense ahahahahhaa i am not crazy i swear

[rise-tv]

Edge of Wonder TV Reveals The CIA’s 'Secret' Art Collection

Let's see how the CIA's fortress headquarters in Langley, Virginia, is home to more than a few surprises. Such as a Starbucks where the baristas never ask for names and a spy museum you'll never visit.

Backstory - The CIA’s 'Secret' Art Collection:-

At first glance, Taryn Simon's photograph above appears harmless, if not mundane. It depicts two modern artworks hanging on bare white walls, separated by limp rope barriers, as harsh fluorescent ceiling lights bounce their reflection off the slick laminate floor. However, when one reads the text, which indicates that the shot was taken at the US Central Intelligence Agency's headquarters in Langley, Virginia, it becomes much more alluring and enigmatic. Simon's shot is part of her 2007 series, An American Index to the Hidden and Unfamiliar, which presents perspectives that are mostly unknown to the general public.

The photograph intrigued Johanna Barron, a Portland-based artist when she first saw it in 2008. She was encouraged to learn more about the CIA's abstract painting collection. However, she found little available material, except a single page on the CIA website with no photographs and some brief details in a book about the agency. Although the lack of information was not unusual for a cash-strapped federally sponsored organization, Barron decided to investigate further by filing a series of FOIA requests. This would be the first stage in a sophisticated artistic undertaking that would keep Barron busy for years to come. Edge of Wonder TV has covered a detailed video on the CIA’s secret art collection.

Here is a small reference to the previous article:-

The previous post highlighted restored access during “Facebook’s shutdown.” Meta announced that the issue had been resolved following a two-hour downtime. The company expressed regret for any inconvenience resulting from technical issues.

Obtaining historical records:-

As any scholar who has gone through the time-consuming process of discovering and obtaining historical records can attest, asking busy librarians to find information on your behalf rarely yields results. Barron would respond similarly to her FOIA requests. Her requests for photographs of the gathering and acquisition records, such as information about tax advantages for donors and funding for purchases, were frequently denied because the documents relating to the paintings were not "government records" and thus were not subject to FOIA regulations.

Once again, a lack of publicly available information, which could have been explained away by a processing snafu or a lack of resources, took on a mysterious air, with the CIA acting evasively. Barron's search for knowledge only intensified, as she stated: "I felt this increasing need to try to uncover details that appeared to be kept secret for no logical reason." In 2014, Barron obtained over 100 pages of severely censored documentation, allowing her to put together more information about the collection.

Abstract paintings:-

The abstract paintings that had piqued Barron's interest were among a tiny collection lent to the CIA by Vincent Melzac, a bigger-than-life art connoisseur and former director of the Corcoran Collection of Art in Washington, DC. Melzac began sharing paintings with the agency in 1968, including those by painters involved with the Washington Color School. Two decades later, the CIA bought eleven of the pieces, but after Melzac died in 1989, his estate consented to continue loaning canvases. Barron used this newly discovered information to build 3/4 size copies of several of the 29 paintings, which she first showed in 2015 under the title Acres of Walls.

Carey Dunne, a journalist for Hyperallergic, contacted the agency's Public Affairs division after being informed by DC-based creator Barbara Januszkiewicz that the government's art collection may not be as hidden as it first appeared. She was startled to learn that plans were quickly made for her to visit Langley and that she was permitted to publicize her tour of the art collection, including photographs. The abstract paintings from Melzac's collection stood out among a diverse collection of art displayed across CIA headquarters, comprising realistic paintings commemorating the agency's accomplishments and official portraits of previous CIA directors.

The mundane justifications offered for this collection comprised brightening up the building with art that complemented the architectural age (the Old Headquarters Building was finished in 1961) and connected to Langley's position in the Washington metropolitan area. However, Dunne discovered an intriguing feature of the CIA's collection of abstract art: it was also used for teaching purposes.

Hyperallergic speculated about art collection:-

Hyperallergic further speculated that the art collection may have been chosen by the CIA about the agency's secret backing for Abstract Expressionism during the Cold War. The story Dunne relates to, which has been fueled by sensationalized pieces in the New Yorker and the Independent, among others, is yet another simplifying and mythologization of a more complicated but less famous tale linking art and espionage - and more evidence of the desire to maintain a narrative of CIA secrecy that prompted both Johanna Barron's project and the subsequent press coverage.

However, if the CIA kept its art collection secret, it could have been for a good purpose. While investigating her article, Dunne contacted Robert Newmann, the agency's last living abstract painter. Melzac did not inform the artists about the loan of their works to the CIA, according to Newmann, who found this fact in 2012, when Warner Brothers asked for permission to use the painting Arrows in Hollywood the Big Argo, which was filmed on-site at Langley.

Concluding Opinions:-

Taryn Simon's photograph, taken at CIA headquarters, is part of a series that aims to reveal hidden and unfamiliar perspectives to the public.

The author, Barron, faced difficulties in obtaining historical records and information through FOIA requests, as the documents related to the paintings were not considered "government records" and were therefore exempt from FOIA regulations.

Barron's interest in abstract paintings led her to create 3/4 size copies of pieces lent to the CIA by Vincent Melzac, showcasing them in an exhibition titled Acres of Walls in 2015.

The art collection chosen by the CIA during the Cold War may have been a part of their secret support for Abstract Expressionism, and the story surrounding it is a simplified and sensationalized version of a more complex narrative, highlighting the agency's desire to maintain a narrative of secrecy.