#I hate his last name so much French people are so unreal

[soullessjack]

oh my god if alternate adrien was like That then what the hell would alternate felix be like

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-read: Trying to understand the Aux Tresors novels without actually reading the novels in question.

This is the last, and the most borderline-experimental and cringe-flop part of the reading break #1, because in this post, I will be discussing the five novels based on the show.

Without actually reading them.

Nobody has seemingly ever scanned or copied them, and I don't have the ability to buy them. If you're French, or a rich person, perhaps you could get your hands on them and tell me how wrong I am, but until then, let's speculate.

You can find the... (sighs deep as fuck) Plot Summaries on Otakia. Everything I will discuss here comes from Otakia. You can find the books somewhere else. Perhaps Amazon, probably some other site too... Because as far as I remember, Ankama's literal official shop only has one of the five.

Roman Kerubim (Dofus) Tome 1 : Le ciel sur la tête

>Read about it here

To regurgitate a bit of info from Otakia: just like the Wakfu novels, which apparently also exist, these five novels are kind of like... a bonus episode in a written form, following the structure of the show.

When grabbing quotes from Otakia I will be putting them into a translator and then screenshotting, so that you can quickly read them, and so that I don't have to copy things.

But I won't be copying the descriptions or summaries of the books, just the bits I'd like to elaborate on. You can read them yourself there.

To reference that one meme: Why didn't he start thinking about his dead parents? Is he stupid?

OKAY, I really didn't expect this post to go anywhere, but it's funny that even in Dofus times, Porkass people were known to eat Twelvians.

You will never fucking guess with what nation Bonta of the Waven era, is involved in a seemingly mutually cannibalistic war with.

Roman Kerubim (Dofus) Tome 2 : Une étoile pour le shérif

>Read about it here

I want to thank whoever runs Otakia for uploading this image specifically. Thank you Monsieur/Madame Otakia.

You may notice that, I will be upscaling all the images I bring here from the Otakia articles. The reason for this is that I am a normal and sane person, and need to look at it in a crispier way.

As you may remember, Kerubim already said that he used to be a sheriff in episode 16, West of Astrub.

The writer of this article will literally be like "the book gives you candy, sucks your dick clean and dry, cleans up your home, and then it gives you a hundred dollars, so I didn't like it."

I wish Kerubim would be a fucking loser and a menace more often.

In the Judgement of The Twelve episode, Kerubim and Bashi had already mentioned meething each other many times as young adults, and having stories about it, so it's nice to see this factoid utilized for more than 2 episodes, if only in a book.

Also, yet again, Kerubim literally doing his job and Bashi being fucking insane and hating him for it, despite doing far worse things.

Roman Kerubim (Dofus) Tome 3 : Panique à Astrub

>Read about it here

Indie is insane for this btw.

Joris canonically eats burgers and YES reading this article a while back is the reason I put burgers into my Joris fanart.

You can see full art on my general artblog @atcham-crepin. Yeah, my blog naming scheme is very creative, I know.

I just think his refined ass eating burgers is funny, even though in canon he is only depicted doing this as a kid.

Roman Kerubim (Dofus) Tome 4 : Le décapiteur de soiffard

>Read about it here

Including the cover art because it is very nice, and to draw your attention to THE best novel none of us will ever get to fucking read.

My dream Joris & Simone story, and I can't even read it. Smh.

List of things I love about this:

Joris stealing stuff.

Joris stealing stuff.

Joris stealing stuff.

Simone being a leader.

Kerubim, as we had seen in the past episodes, literally the type to text something like "I am not long for this world.... tell my family I love them." over a tummy ache. I hate this man so much it's unreal.

Of Course he sent them on a wild goose chase over some random bullshit.

Simone and Joris @ Kerubim at the end of this book:

Roman Kerubim (Dofus) Tome 5 : Tous en piste

>Read about it here

I will be real, I don't think any living being can tame that fucking beast.

These books are just treating us with characters in outfits we hadn't seen them in, in the show. It would be... a better world, if these books were episodes instead.

Also, want to yet again remind you that I am upscaling the shit out of these images. Because I'm normal. But at times the results can be wonky.

The World of Twelve has never seen, and will never see again, a couple more toxic than them. Sad!

Unlike the Simone & Joris book, I yet again don't have much to say, but, I'm sure I would, had the books been available to me.

This brings me to a close with the first reading break. After this post, I will resume liveblogging about the show. But I do have ideas of what the next reading break entail, and I think they're rather fun! Like "trying to read Dofus manga without reading Dofus manga" or "reviewing Dofus Aux Tresors merch without buying Dofus Aux Tresors Merch", or, perhaps, "scrying on a crystal ball to read Tot Ankama's thoughts."

...Yeah. Only the last one is a joke.

[sakura-83]

Things from Anne with an e that I feel like writing down

Season 1 Episode 7: Wherever You Are Is My Home

⚠️WARNING!!!⚠️ this episode not only talks about suicidal thoughts but also a character trying to commit such acts, of you are sensitive to this I suggest you just skip this post or at least skip #75-77

1. Anne calling it comforting that no two snowflakes are alike, as well as calling snow a sign of gods forgiveness as he blankets the dead world in a beautiful frost

2. Josie gossiping about her while she’s RIGHT THERE

3. Her and moody just talking

4. “And I love Christmas, don’t you?” “I don’t know, but I plan to.” “Did you not have Christmas at the orphanage?” “There wasn’t much to it really. I’m not sure why Father Christmas wasn’t able to stop there, maybe the matron scared him off.”

5. “Do you at least know if they’re going to keep you?” “Keep me!?”

6. Anne trying to sing with the others but the other voices quickly fading out as she panics and rushes home

7. “They’re not going to send you back, you’re in the Bible and everything!”

8. Marilla has every right to be angry that Matthew rushed their home without even discussing it

9. “I knew you’d lose your head-“ “Oh, I oughta smack yours right off your shoulders!”

10. Matthew is prone to heart attacks, the very same thing causing his death in the books

11. “He’s had an episode of the heart” just a funny way to say heart attack, sort of long winded

12. Marilla not understanding the complex math because she had to leave school when she was young

13. Anne helping her with it because she’s top of her class

14. “Not keeping you? You’re a Cuthbert, for better or for worse! No getting out of it now.”

15. The awful bank not relenting on the payback schedule despite the fact that Matthew cannot work. Corporations are cruel and ungiving despite the human struggles and needs of its clients and it hurts. I know the bank invested that money and they need it back but Matthew was indisposed by a tragic event and to not only not extent but to SHORTEN the payback schedule is just unfeeling

16. Marilla putting out an ad to the mainland to take in borders

17. The terrifying idea that you must sell everything you have in order to survive

18. Marilla being desperate yet still too prideful to accept charity

19. The fact that it not only effects the family but also Jerry, as they can’t afford to pay him. It puts him out of a job and lowers his families income

20. A reoccurring theme I love in this show is the idea that the characters will give up their belongings, no matter how sentimental, in the name of family. Matthew selling his dead brothers watch, Marilla selling her grandmothers brooch, Anne selling the dress of her dreams, all because no matter how important these items are, they are just things. That family is more important, so even though it pains you to have to give those things up, you do it in the name of love for others

21. “Theyre just things.”

22. Anne feeling sorrow and yet being excited to stay at aunt Josephine’s

23. Despite being told she can keep the dress, Anne insists on selling it back because it’s a family effort

24. Anne being exited for a solo adventure and then getting stuck with jerry

25. Jerry has to be there to get money Anne his family is hungry :(

26. “I don’t actually need your help.” “When’s the last time you drove a sleigh? Auctioned a horse? Let’s go.”

27. Diana giving her things to sell as well

28. Jerry knows how to drive a sleigh?????

29. “It’s not so bad to ask for help sometimes, y’know?” “If I needed help I would say so.” “No you wouldn’t.” “Yes, I would.” “Wouldn’t.” “Would! Times infinity.” “What???”

30. Jerry singing in French

31. “No singing. I mean it. I’m serious, Jerry! This is an important journey! I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY BEAR HANDS!”

32. Jerry grinning as she gets madder

33. Anne bring mystified by the dress shop

34. “I’m here to return a dress.” Is something wrong with it?” “Not a thing.” “Do you not like it?” “It is my very favorite thing that I have ever possessed in life. But I need to return it to help my family.” “You’re Anne, Matthew’s Anne!” “I am! How nice it is to hear it said that way.”

35. Anne being upbeat until Jeannie asks what’s wrong and then ask just breaks down

36. Poor Jerry waiting outside in the snow for her

37. Either Matthew spent some much money on Anne’s dress or Jeannie gave her extra, or both

38. “Did Matthew really spend this much?..” “You’re worth a lot to him.”

39. “I hate to say goodbye…” “😏 I won’t be so long~” “To the HORSE, Jerry. Why are you so annoying.”

40. “You’re a good horse Birdie, try to remember that. Someone will be very lucky to have you.”

41. Birdie really is a beautiful horse though

42. Anne’s little “my parents are spies” act she uses on the pawn broker

43. The pawn broker is so understandable rude because of his profession, it makes him equally annoying and funny

44. “What a piece of work you are.”

45. Anne is so good at making up stories on the spot

46. “If you can’t afford it I completely understand.”

47. I love how snide remarks of “being a good Christian” are frequent and effective insults in the 1800’s

48. Poor Jerry doesn’t just get beaten up and robbed, he gets brutally beaten by two grown men and there’s nothing he can do despite that being… his last paycheck. That was the last income he was going to give his family and he’s so ashamed of himself that he keeps apologizing for it despite most of the money being his. He apologizes to Anne, to Matthew, it bothers him for months to come

49. Gilbert’s back!!

50. “Still seems unreal. Even though I just sold all our… everything.”

51. “He’s a good man.” “I love him with all my heart. I don’t know what if do if…”

52. Them arguing over not arguing

53. Anne apologizing

54. “Anyway…” “Anyway..”

55. I genuinely didn’t realize that the men who beat up Jerry are the same men that took in borders at green gables, I got the same face blindness as Jerry himself

56. “I’ve missed you.” “Yeah?” “At school, theres.. no one to compete with.” “”You want to spell out a few words for old times sake?” “How about… truce?”

57. Jerry thinking Gilbert was going to hurt Anne and take her money and immediately jumping in to stop him despite swaying on his feet

58. When Anne asks him if he’s okay he immediately starts apologizing about the money

59. “I don’t like the city.”

60. “Just take care of yourself, and come home someday.”

61. Anne and Gilbert staring at each other quietly

62. “This is a palace, not a house.”

63. Jerry assuming that they’ll make him sleep in the stable instead of inside the massive house

64. “I’ll look after belle.”

65. “This city is rife with ruffians!”

66. Aunt Josephine insisting on helping

67. Matthew lamenting his own life, talking of how his life insurance will give them a sizable sum and how he drags them down despite them needing him

68. “Anne loves you, you have to remember that.” “But her future…” “Which do you think she would choose, this house or you?”

69. Jerry bring terrified to stay in a room by himself because he’s always had his family around him

70. Anne making room for him only for him to sleep upside down

71. “Don’t worry, I don’t kick like my sisters.” “Yeah, you’d better not.”

72. “Everything will be alright. It’ll be alright..”

73. Aunt Josephine helping by paying for Jerry to work at Green Gables, as well as giving Anne books

74. “We’ve been together all these years, thick or thin, so don’t think I’ll put up with you slipping away now. Anne will be home today, and she’ll be very happy to see you.”

75. Matthew trying to kill himself because the life insurance would pay off the debt he caused

76. Jeannie happening to show up and find Matthew with the gun just in time as he tries to hide what he’s almost done from her, realizing what he’s done

77. The way they stress how his passing would effect Anne the most because of what they mean to each other, that she will suffer without him despite what he’s trying to do

78. “Don’t ever get old…” “Too late for that.”

79. “You would’ve left us that way!? Left me?..”

80. “Give it back. I won’t take charity.” “But.. love isn’t charity.” “I won’t take it.” “Nay I ask why not?” “We will not be pitied! I don’t want people thinking we can’t fend for ourselves.” “Well at the moment we can’t, and I’d sure give my last bit of strength or my last dollar to help a friend. Then I know that friend would feel grateful and loved above all else. And I do. I feel very grateful to have such a dear friend as Miss Barry. Sometimes you just have to let people love you Marilla.”

81. Anne selling her cleaning services to make steady income

82. “We’re rich, aren’t we Matthew?”

83. Jerry carving a star for the Christmas tree!!!!!!

84. Anne’s friends coming to sing carols at their house

85. Anne helping Matthew walk outside

86. Not Nate :(

87. Nathaniel, the bane of my existence

[chibsytelford]

Tagging game - thanks @agirllovespancakes ❤

Named after someone? - nope, my middle name is Jane though and that's after my granny Janet ❤. I was originally gonna be called Kelly but my mum changed it to Laura last minute.

Last time you cried? - I cry at sad movies all the time, and usually if things get too much and someone asks me if I'm okay, that always sets me off 😂. But I can't remember the last time I cried tbh.

Do you have any kids? - I don't, but I want kids when the time is right. I look after 17 kids every day at work so I'm not quite ready for my own yet 😅

Do you use sarcasm alot? - every damn day. I struggle not to be sarcastic, some say its a bad habit, i say it's a way of living.

What's the first you notice about people? - if they have a dog lmao. Or generally I look at their face and can tell if they're gonna say hi to me, or ignore me. Idk.

Eye colour? - Blue.

Scary movie or happy ending? - I hate scary movies with a passion, so definitely a happy ending (with a bit of angst ya know).

Any special talent? - hmm, i would say making people laugh, and being able to think of a joke, pun or comeback in a few seconds.

What country were you born in? - Scotland.

What are your hobbies? - football (playing and watching), playing videos games, walking, cuddling dogs, board games, escape rooms.

Do you have any pets? - a chocolate labrador, 2 horses and a bearded dragon.

What sports do you play / have you played? - football and basketball I played for actual teams, against other teams.

How tall are you? - 5"3.

Favourite subject at school? - physical ed(i fancied my p.e teacher unreal amounts - ily Mr Wilson), psychology and french.

Dream job? - forensic psychologist, detective, social worker, pathologist.

I loved this ❤ - tagging @filipthescot @ly--canthrope @mayans-sauce @blessedboo @fvckthisbxtchup @auroraariza @justahopelessssromantic @supervalcsi @stardancerluv @firebenderwolf @hhellofriend @ocetevasgirl @angelreyesgirl and whoever else wants to play. 😎

[adricno]

this gif just exudes fuck boy energy

anywho ! hi im mini from the 6ix ! and this is 1/2 of my demons . [ since everyone tends to call me a demon IM OWNING IT TO MY OWN KDFJGHDFKJ ] im super excited to be back and playing both my kids, but here you’re gonna learn a little about Adriano who is 1/2 of the D’Alessio family around here !  click here  to learn about Alanna who is played by the beauty that is Dani !

new york’s very own Adriano D’alessio was spotted on broadway street in black Fendi sneakers . your resemblance to lorenzo zurzolo is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty second birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being picky , but also attentive . i guess being a virgo explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be a pack of cigarettes, sunglasses covering bloodshot eyes, and late night drives  . 

Basic Information

Full Name: adriano marco d’alessio

Nickname(s): addy, adri, dri

Age: 22

Height: 6′2 ft

Date of Birth:  september 13th 1997

Zodiac sign: virgo

Hogwarts house: slytherin

Ethnicity: italian

Nationality: italian-americian

Gender: cis male

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation: heterosexual

Religion: agnostic-catholic

Language(s) Spoken: italian + portuguese + french + german + english + spanish

BACKSTORY  TW * drugs + alcohol + illegalities

Adriano is the first born from his parents, alanna coming in second - they’re only a year a part so people tend to think they’re twins - but , adriano is firm on stating he’s the much older one , and definitely more mature from the two . 

Adri was actually born in Italy, and moved to New York before he could even remember, but often going back to Italy for family functions and just for fun. 

The D’Alessio’s are a very powerful , influential family . their last name means something once it’s spoken , in italy and even iin the united states . it’s not just Adri’s parents that made it big , but every part of the D’Alessio’s have a mark in the world someway or another , so , YEAH . they’re a pretty big deal .

going on !  adri was given A LOT of responsibilities which ... he did not want to do . he grew up being the golden boy with a face that can fool just about anyone . looks and personality MAGNETIC . the name , the genes , it all came with who he is .

his dad an ambassador / rep for italy in the USA , his mom this LOVING model that worked her looks into a model agency as big as IMG . 

while taking every language class to discuss business , adri was pretty much forced to join in on his mom’s business . he hated it , he honestly HATES being a part of this lifestyle . he wants to be rich but on his own accord , if you know what i mean . 

but he does it , bc he knows his name and everything comes with a price . doesn’t mean he doesn’t tend to REBEL . which he does quite often , sneaking out of family functions , smoking one up , doing some blow . 

growing up he was a typical rich boy with a pretty face, getting around . he doesn’t get along with either of his parents but if he had to choose , it’d be his mom . he believes his dad’s just controlling her . after what happened to Alanna , Adri definitely doesn’t trust his dad.

Adri’s super overprotective of Alanna, after everything that went down with his dad , alanna , and the italian mob . adri is cautious about everything.

he’s still an idiot tho.

SECRET

          * no one is supposed to know this, but im gonna explain it here. if u                want any connections based off this . LET ME KNOW . :)

Adriano always loved cars , when he was 5 he got into a maserati and crashed it into a tree bc he didn’t know how to drive but ever since then he’s had a fascination with them. got his license early, knows how to fix , pull them a part . ANYTHING to do with it, tends to be everyone’s mechanic . always making the best cars around aesthetically , and internally. 

he got into street racing , which is illegal by EVERY means possible . he worked up the ranks , it being the place where he had to prove himself rather than just going by name . so he made it up there where he’s pretty respectable . 

Adri works with bringing illegal imports for car parts into the USA . [ think like fast and furious life ok DKJFHDKFBH ] 

 AND , like father like son -- he uses these dealings to bring in large amounts of coke / weed / other drugs into the country . so he works with cartels , on the side DKJFGHKDJGH

not only does he do THAT but he also organizes and runs in these races - they give him a certain high -- a kind of adrenaline where death is at ur fingertips . it’s a gamble he likes to take . 

PERSONALITY + CURRENT SITUATION

he’s a big idiot, in a sense that a lot of things just go over his head . he’s very business savvy , as in he likes to think things thoroughly , which may just be the virgo in him. he’s the guy you want to take to a casino.

usually the life of the party - funny enough , he does DJ on the side . adri finds it works out in his favour to make things that would get a crowd worked up. that’s just a hobby of his , but he’s pretty much just living like a socialite , modelling for whatever his mom puts him in - and even if he hates it the most , he goes a lot with his dad to learn the ins and outs of being a future ambassador , but adri rlly does it to benefit his side business. 

he’s a good person on the inside, he just maybe never shows it . on the outside he seems humble and the nicest , but he loves to play games , mess around with people . a bit sadistic . i actually hate him JDFGHKDFJGHDFKSGHJDSF 

highkey prefers to being alone than in a crowd of people , believes he’s a lot better than most bc he’s smarter , but he’s not , he’s an idiot KJDGHKJFDGH

he’s gotten away with literally everything so he believes he’s invincible . he’s gottena arrested before but it’s nothing he couldn’t get out of and whenever the media finds out , he’s able to twist it around where he looks innocent in it . or he just pushes it off like it’s no big deal . 

ironically , super chill . never one to look for a fight , instead he likes solutions .

He does go to school ! but he takes classes online to avoid people , so not many people really know he goes to school and is currently earning his masters. 

the only person he wants to prove himself to is himself, and adri has such high standards that he’s always trying to reach for the best KJDHFGKDJFHG

I THINK THTS IT FOR NOW ??

I LIKE BRAINSTORMING WITH PPL FOR PLOTS/CONNECTIONS , SO LIKE THIS AND I WILL HIT YOU UP <3

BESIDES THAT IT’S REALLY ALL THE REGULAR TYPE OF CONNECTIONS

[yakumtsaki]

Alright you guys, sorry for the delay, I’ve had to restart this post 20 fucking times because my changes weren’t being saved in the draft and then I kept getting the ‘upload failed’ error. In case you don’t remember wtf is going on you might wanna re-read the last update (I certainly had to) which is apparently from JUNE 2018. Jfc I suck so hard. Now this was gonna be really long but tumblr wouldn’t post it so I’m breaking it up in 3 parts, part 2 to be posted tomorrow. For those that don’t feel like reading back, general recap of the last couple updates:

Jojo cheated on Wyatt with Max Flexor and my solution to that marital crisis was to adopt our first dog ever, a puppy hilariously named Maxx.

The puppy grew up to be an asshole and is constantly beating up the cats, who have turned into giant pussies (no pun intended) and are losing every fight to him despite the fact they’re named after Mortal Kombat characters. They’re a fucking disgrace to Alegra’s/Victor’s/Ronroneo’s memory and I haven’t settled on a cat heir yet because they both suck.

Jojo is perma miserable, I don’t even remember how much money away from his 100k LTW, and still not a werewolf despite my pathologically persistent attempts to make him friends with the wolf.

Fucking useless Wyatt didn’t get promoted while Komei was alive providing us with his 100 townie friends, we spent 20 updates befriending every rando that crossed our lot to secure his promotion, and then finally on the day he was supposed to become Captain Hero, Wyatt got, of course, fired and is now on track to take longer to complete his literal career based LTW than Komei took to get 6 pets on the top of their careers.

Absolutely everyone hates noogie addict Shajar, she got a Kylo Ren makeover, and we still don’t know what her sexual orientation is thanks to her ridiculous fitness/fatness turn ons and cleanliness turn off.

Golden child/10 nice points freakshow Cyneswith grew up, rolled romance with the most disturbing turn-ons/offs possible (grey hair/mechanical & charisma turn off) and the 20 simultaneous lovers LTW.

Wulf grew up into a kid, got an Amadeus makeover, is officially a Wyatt clone and the only member of this family I don’t completely hate yet.

Now I’d like to begin the first Union post in more than a year by requesting you do me a solid and lower your expectations for this thing as far down as humanly possible. Like really try to recreate the Jules Verne classic “Journey to the Center of the Earth” with your expectations here, because my brain is so fucking fried that there’s a 20% chance I randomly start citing sources at some point during this post. This grad school crap has seriously been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever. And speaking of bad trade deals, let’s get this update rolling with the man, the myth, the legend, the husband who managed to make Komei look like a dreamboat in comparison..

..Wyatt fucking Union, née Monif. It’s been a long time, but I’m not gonna lie to you Wyatt, not nearly long enough. Looking good man, just one small question, where the fuck are your eyebrows?

-You àccidéntally deléted thém, imbécilé, et I cannôt exprèss my irritatiόn prόperly becausé I hàve non eyebrôws!

Did your selective French accent get thicker this past year or is it just me?

-It géts thickér whén je suis distrésséd, givé moi mon eyebrôws bàcc!!!

No can do, brother. Actually can do, but I think the Mona Lisa look is working for you, and more importantly I still hate you, so I’m just gonna hardcore ignore you for the rest of this post if that’s ok. Talk to me when you finally get promoted, aka never the way this shit is going.

-Non! NON! MON EYEBROWS!

It’s been lovely catching up.

Jojό I mean Jojo, goddammit Wyatt, is spending most of his time building robots in the mausoleum (sweet hipster band name alert)..

..giving financial advice in Shajar’s room (inb4 what’s the difference between the mausoleum and Shajar’s room)..

..building evil snowmen alone in the middle of the night, like all mentally healthy middle aged men with 3 kids are wont to do..

..and getting the piss harassed out of him by the cat ghosts in the bathroom (sweet hipster band name alert #2). How is this like the fourth time this happens in the exact same spot, will you just stop autonomously cleaning the bathroom after midnight? It’s obviously where the cats hang out, give it the fuck up already.

-I’m actively TRYING TO DIE you absolute moron, what does a guy have to do to get killed around here?

Yea can’t say that I blame you but not happening, you can commit suicide by Ghost Alegra after the kids fuck off to college, ok? I promise.

-Oh like you promised me being heir was a route worth pursuing??

Um obviously you too need to go back and re-read your own life story, because I spent the entirety of our “““cherished””” time together telling you heirship is a shitty gig at generation 2. And then to top it off you went and married Wyatt to ensure maximum shittiness, so there you go, fucking enjoy. God I am so sick of both of you losers and we’re only 5 pics in. Let’s check in with your spawn, I’m sure they can’t possibly be more annoying than their parents-

-oh right, I forgot, this is the generation with 10/10/9 active points where the party never stops. Cyneswith are you somehow twerking to classical music?

-How else am I gonna attract all those hot senior citizens per my grey hair turn on and 20 lovers LTW?

Ok great yea I see how this is gonna go, you’re trying to entice people into voting you for heir based on how torturous playing this fucked up LTW is gonna be for me, well forget it, my readers are intellectuals and completely above such petty entertainment. (istg mofos, don’t even think about it, i already did Komei’s 5 pets career shit, i will burn this place to the ground if you saddle me with Cyneswith banging the elderly for 30 years)

-No need to worry your stupid little head, I will beat Cyneswith for HEIR just like I beat her HAIR up daily! HAHA!

Shajar no offense but you’re a fucking war crime of a sim, nearly everyone who’s ever met you hates you including your parents, and the fact that you��re the alternative here is really not helping my situation in any way. Also how the fuck are you gonna be heir when the only thing you seem to be attracted to is giving noogies, you’re like one week away from college and I still don’t even know if you’re str8 or gay or bi or w/e the fuck you are. You have Jojo’s personality combined with..

..yes exactly, DANIEL’S SOCIAL ABILITIES. I mean I was joking with the whole ‘Shajar’s the spawn of Satan’ thing, but this combo of traits was clearly drawn up in Hell’s boardroom.

ANYWAY. It’s a snowy Sunday morning, and anyone who has been a teen knows what that means:

Time to go clubbing! Man I remember being like 15, waking up on a freezing Sunday morning and my mom making me a cup of hot chocolate before I drove off to the club. Those were the days.

-Uh, Shaj, when did you learn how to drive?

-Don’t be stupid, Cyneswith, people don’t need to ‘learn’ how to drive.

-They absolutely do, actually.

-Well what can I tell you, the dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

-Here we are, safe and sound! Celebratory noogie!

-YOU RAN OVER 9 PEOPLE

-How many times to I have to explain this to you, Apartment Life townies are not people.

Can’t argue with that logic. Let’s just go in and find out what Shajar’s sexual orientation is once and for all so I can spend the rest of this update aggressively promoting Wulf’s candidacy.

Now I consider ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ one of the dumbest sayings there is, but even I have to concede that this particular picture truly is worth a thousand words. Quick poll, what is more horrifying, Shajar’s literal Joker face or Cyneswith, whom I’ve never seen read a book ever, autonomously pulling one out in the middle of the dance floor, in what I can only assume is an attempt to attract old perverts with the schoolgirl routine?

And I know what some of you are thinking, you’re like ‘bro, you’re just reaching to make a bad joke bro, Cyneswith is just a sweet nice introvert and not like other girls, she doesn’t feel comfortable in the club’, well to that let me reply with another picture that is worth a thousand words:

Yea that’s right, on the first minute of our first time out WE RUN INTO THAT ONE ELDER TOWNIE THAT HAS WRINKLE MAKE UP ON. GODDAMMIT CYNESWITH

Do you guys remember how Jojo was obsessed with Stephen Tinker as a teen? Are you seeing the connection here?? Those kids have literally inherited the worst possible traits from both their parents turned up to 11, it’s fucking unreal.  

Right after I get over Wrinkle’s presence I turn around and what do I see, those 2, who have never had a non-noogie physical interaction, autonomously doing the family kiss thing. I didn’t even catch it on time because I was loling irl, we came out here so these assholes can find age-appropriate partners, and instead they’re kissing each other. Seems about right with this family, and clearly Striped Scarf’s dumb ass ships it.

-They look so much alike, it’s meant to be!

Yes, and they even share the same last name! Talk about written in the stars.

Thankfully Abhijeet is here to save us from incest by perving on Cyneswith. GTFO ABHIJEET. Anyone like ‘bro townies just autonomously come to greet your sims on community lots regardless of age, stop calling them perverts’, see you in about 5 pics down.  

I try to have Shajar chat up Striped Scarf and suffice it to say Shaj ~stole her heart~ and presumably put it on this stick to wave around.

NO. CYNESWITH NO. I’m seriously having déjà vu of all the times I was like ‘NO. JOJO NO’, jfc.

Shajar is unsurprisingly exhibiting no interest in socializing with anyone around her, instead she’s trying every activity this terribly lit place has to offer, and she looks demented while doing it:

I’m feeling a primal urge to photoshop Darth Vader’s melted helmet on the bowling ball here, someone please remind me to do it for the heir vote photoshoot.

-HA. SUCK IT DENISE JACQUET

That’s Denise Jacquet?! I can’t tell who anyone is for shit anymore. The default replacements are a scourge upon premade brands, I’m getting rid of them pronto. Speaking of scourges, where the hell is your sister?

-Who cares?

I wanna say ‘me’ but we both know that’s a lie.

Oh ok, THERE SHE IS.

-So you see Cyneswith, just because something is technically ‘illegal’, doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong-

Yea yea fascinating stuff, now get out of the hot tub or I will fucking neuter you, I don’t know if a eunuch mod already exists for medieval games but I will make one if it doesn’t.

Here, Cyneswith, drink some water, have a nice G-rated convo with your sister about violins and stop pissing me off. 

-First of all this is straight vodka.

Great.

-Secondly Shajar is talking about Mozart’s coprophilia.

-I sure am.

Amazing. Well, I guess it’s at times like these when you need to look inside your heart and truly ask yourself, what did you expect from Jojo’s children.

ABHIJEET ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME DID YOU EVEN HEAR ME TALK ABOUT CASTRATION

-Ha, I went home and put on my most elderly-looking formal wear!

-I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave Ab <3

CYNESWITH SHUT UP. I can’t believe you people are actually making me miss Gunther’s teenage whoring, at least he kept it age appropriate.

-Is some random lady pressing her breasts against my head?

She most certainly is, Shajar, because it is now crystal clear that this bowling alley doubles as the site of annual perv townie convention and we walked right into it-

-and it’s also clear we have serious issues and are enjoying ourselves. Shaj I legit don’t know what to tell you, this is the first time you get along with someone right away and it just had to be the adult with the bad haircut and the flasher’s trench coat???

-You’re damn right it did.

Alright then, I’m officially going to nope out of this situation, safe in the knowledge you’re a noogiesexual and nothing will actually happen with this freak, so I’ll focus on Cyneswith instead who is much more of a loose canon. 

Here Cyn, talk to this guy, who I’m 90% sure is the same guy your father rejected in favor of stalking Stephen Tinker when he was your age.

-Ohhhh, he’s dreamy!

Omg really?? Halleluj-

-oh never mind, you were of course referring to adult ass Brandon Lillard. I do like that our townies have recurring roles each generation, we should make rejecting Blondie a rite of passage in this family. We should also officially gtfo because this is happening:

-Um, now that I’m looking at you in harsher lighting, it’s gonna be a no from me dawg. 

Oh, thank the fucking lord.

-Let’s celebrate the fact we didn’t get hopelessly obsessed with any adults here by doing the traditional Dance of Normality!

-We beat Dad’s genes, we beat Dad’s genes!

-We’re normal!

Yes, and we’re definitely showing it. Can we please leave now so I can make sure I’ve uninstalled Inteenminator and turn off free will? 

-Nop! Venue change!

-Got-out-of-the-car celebratory noogie!

-Made-it-to-the-door celebratory noogie!

Shajar you unironically have a noogie addiction, I’m not kidding in the slightest, you need to see a doctor.

Great, great, not another teen in sight and to top it off Denise followed us here to ensure maximum elder presence. I feel comfortable officially declaring this day a complete waste of time.

God, the vintage pink dress and the pink alcohol combo is some straight up current era Taylor Swift nonsense. That’s it, we’re outta here, back home where no one is lurking, waiting to strike at us-

-SOPHIE NOOOOOOOOOOOO💔💔💔💔💔

-The Lord is my shepherd.

NO HE ISN’T EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CAN’T HERD CATS PLEASE DON’T DIE

-Nop, I’m over it. Goodbye heathens, it’s been nice, hope you don’t find your paradise. 

UGH SOPHIE, my beloved Westboro lunatic, the last gangsta generation 1 cat we had.. I can’t believe you’re gone and all I’m left with is stupid Goro and D’vorah who can’t even beat up the fucking dog. This is truly painful.

Yes, pets, I agree, Kaylynn is completely to blame for Sophie dying of old age. The time has now come to decide on a cat heir-

-and since Goro ran away like a little bitch after Sophie’s death despite the fact he didn’t even like her, he’s automatically disqualified and will be going off to live on Melody and Daniel’s farm once returned to us. Congratulations to D’vorah I guess, on being the least terrible of two terrible options. 

On the topic of terrible heir options, Cyn has non-stop wants to go on dates and have her first kiss and all that crap, and since our Sunday morning clubbing was a bust we invite over the matchmaker.

-Hello there young Union, I see your house has been upgraded since I was last here.

Oh right we haven’t required your services since Daniel was a teen and we lived in a trailer, well we are flush with cash now!

-Hopefully your payment reflects that.

It will!! Just please give us someone good, I can’t deal with single teen Cyn for one more second.

-Oh my, what a beautiful BLANK PIECE OF PAPER.

WHAT!? NO THAT’S 5K IT’S JUST A SNOW GLITCH 

-What do I look like to you, a money thawing service?

Does such a service.. exist??

-It does not, so I have to go home and use a hairdryer on this!

Just come inside and we’ll give you non-frozen money!

-No, no, you’ll get what you paid for..

-Have a magical time!

...

.........

......................

Lakshmi this was so fucking evil that I almost want to age you down and see if you and Shajar hit it off. 

-As if, the whole neighborhood knows what you did to Komei.

Helped him achieve his insane 6-pets-career LTW?

-Turned him into a servant while your sim was lounging around all day!

Oh yea I did do that. But Wyatt was also a townie and he does literally nothing, Jojo is the servant now!

-Only because Wyatt is too fucking stupid to do things! Word has gotten out, no townie will ever marry in this family again unless they’re brain dead, so it’s Wyatts only for you from now on, sister!

Well this has been a complete fucking disaster. It was great seeing you again, Lakshmi, thanks for the dream date with the adult farting machine, 5k well-spent.

Pretty sure it was you bro, and yes, how about we don’t do that again.

Wyatt has brought over Amanda from work! (Aka Victoria’s only friend and subsequent lesbian lover, who is really pretty and is definitely getting married in at some point, preferably after the brown hair genes have been weakened so we can go back to being gingers.)  

-Wow Shajar, your grandmother, God rest her soul, mentioned you were her favorite and now I can see why! Loving the Kylo Ren look!

-Is someone being genuinely nice to me?! What is happening?

-Yes, please stop being nice to her, Amanda, we don’t want her getting used to it.

Jojo istg.

-Cyneswith dear, tell Amanda all about how much money your grandmother left you so she can stop being nice to Shajar. 

-Soooo much money, Miss Amanda!

-Ah, what a polite child I’ve single-handedly raised.

-Now, Cyneswith, you really need to get back on the dating scene so you have ample time to find the perfect spouse and continue our line, since you’re clearly the only one of my children that is remotely heir material. 

-Dad, Shajar and Wulf are right next to you.

-Oh they are? I’m wearing my special contact lenses that make those disappointments invisible to me, but even better, they need to hear this. Shajar is a noogiesexual and thus incapable of reproduction, and Wulf is not even a Union, I mean have you seen that kid? Wyatt reproduced by himself like the amoeba he is. Now, your grandmother-

-YOU MENTIONED ME 3 TIMES AND HERE I AM

OH FUCK VICTORIA, deleting the default replacements gave you base game hair!!!!

-That’s the part you’re scared by, not my Beetlejuicesque entrance?

There’s literally nothing scarier than your ghost sporting this haircut for all eternity, I’m re-downloading that default immediately. 

-Oh mom, so good to see you! Let me just hug my beloved child, Shijer-

-Shajar, dad.

-SHAJAR, let me hug Shajar, like I do all the time. 

-I’m glad to see you’re not picking favorites among your children like I did, the way I treated David-

-Daniel, mom.

-DANIEL, is the one thing I’ve truly been regretting in the afterlife. That and not skinning Marisa Bendett alive when I had the chance. 

-Well, as you can see by Shajar’s totally normal and not at all shocked reaction to my hug, I am a wonderful, fair, and emotionally available father. 

(Bruh this freaked me out so much when it happened, I mean I KNOW it’s an animation glitch but I was convinced my sims had become sentient for a good while after)

-Is your grandmother’s ghost still on the premises?

-Yup. 

-When will this nightmare end, paying attention to you is the worst. 

-Ok she’s gone.

-FINALLY. Now it’s back to the crypt for you, and don’t you dare go complain to her urn!

-Ah, Stephen, Stephen, my life is crap and I can’t even🎵

And with the knowledge you have composed a theme song for Stephen Tinker, part 1 of the Union comeback update is concluded. Will Shajar’s sexual orientation reveal itself? Will Cyneswith find true love? Will Jojo become a werewolf? Will Wulf continue to be the only dignified member of this family? Will D’vorah have kittens? Will Wyatt do literally anything worth mentioning? Tune in for parts 2 & 3 to find out, unfollow button on the upper right corner for those who need it. 

[ftauriellas]

            chicago’s  very  own  auriella  yates  has  been  spotted  on  madison  avenue  driving  a  porsche  718  spyder  ,  welcome  !  your  resemblance  to  jasmine  tookes  is  unreal  .  according  to  tmz  ,  you  just  had  your  twenty - fifth  birthday  bash  .  your  chance  of  surviving  new  york  is  uncertain  because  you’re  guileful  ,  but  being  unadulterated  might  help  you  .  i  think  being  a  virgo  explains  that  .  three  things  that  would  paint  a  better  picture  of  you  would  be  the  lingering  scent  of  her  perfume  on  crisp  white  sheets  ,  the  soft  touch  of  short  satin  dresses  against  her  thighs  ,  and  the  soft  glistening  of  diamonds  during  golden  hour  .

            hi  again  ,  kitty  gorls  !  it’s  jin  showing  up  on  your  dash  for  the  last  time  with  my  sweet  peach  miss  auriella  yates  .  she’s  a  rendition  of  a  hailey  b  .  chara  that  i  have  ,  so  she’s  quite  the  mess  ,  but  as  lovable  as  ever  !  as  you’ve  probably  figured  ,  i  didn’t  have  much  muse  for  guiliana  anymore  so  i  decided  it  was  best  to  let  her  go  and  bring  someone  else  (  also  ,  i’m  really  sorry  about  not  fulfilling  that  starter  call  .  please  don’t  hate  me  🥺  )  .  my  muse  is  soaring  for  auriella  so  be  prepared  for  me  to  slide  into  your  dm’s  for  plotting  up  a  storm  !  that  being  said  ,  here’s  another  long  one  !

basic  information  .

FULL  NAME  :  auriella  kaia  yates  .

NICKNAME(S)  :  auri  ,  mostly  .

BIRTHDATE  +  AGE  :  september  9th  ,  1997  +  22  .

ZODIAC  :  virgo  .

HOMETOWN  :  chicago  ,  il  .

GENDER  :  cis  female  .

NATIONALITY  :  american  .

ETHNICITY  :  african  american  ,  brazilian  ,  west  indian  , barbadian  ,  and  european  .

HEIGHT  :  5′5″  .

LABEL(S)  :  the  harlequin  ,  the  trust  fund  baby  ,  the  vainglorious  ,  the  coquette  ,  and  the  sovereign  .

ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION  :  biromantic  .

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION  :  bisexual  .

LANGUAGE(S)  SPOKEN  :  english  and  learned  basic  french  in  high  school  .

OCCUPATION  :  socialite  ,  makeup  artist  ,  and  businesswoman  .

POSITIVES  :  impulsive  ,  alluring  ,  unadulterated  ,  facetious  ,  and  melodious  .

NEGATIVES  :  complaintive  ,  acquisitive  ,  guileful  ,  starry - eyed  ,  and  bellicose  .

biography  .

            auriella  yates  is  the  sixth  child  of  eight  ,  born  to  simone  and  joshua  yates  in  the  windy  city  of  chicago  ,  illinois  .  she  has  three  older  brothers  (  chance  ,  charles  ,  and  clark  )  ,  two  older  sisters  (  adriana  and  amelia  )  ,  and  a  younger  brother  and  sister  (  calvin  and  aurora  )  .  patrick  and  simone  for  some  reason  found  joy  in  naming  their  sons  with  c  names  and  their  daughters  with  a  names  ,  but  it  works  for  them  nonetheless  .  the  family  could  afford  such  a  grandiose  lifestyle  in  chicago  thanks  to  simone’s  lifestyle  and  wellness  brand  called  honey  &  lemon  (  goop  ,  who  ?  )  that  has  since  expanded  from  a  newsletter  to e - commerce  ,  pop - up  shops  ,  a  magazine  ,  and  a  podcast  .  patrick  ,  on  the  other  hands  ,  is  a  famous  vegetarian  chef  that  has  launched  three  cookbooks  while  also  having  his  own  cooking  series  on  the  food  network  along  with  a  cookware  partnership  at  target  .  together  ,  they  own  a  vegetarian  restaurant  in  downtown  chicago  called  lemongrass  .

            growing  up  ,  since  auriella  had  so  many  siblings  ,  she  never  had  an  uneventful  day  .  their  parents  strongly  believed  in  their  children  playing  outside  instead  of  being  stuck  in  front  of  the  television  all  day  ,  so  they  often  took  advantage  of  their  large  backyard  when  they  lived  in  the  suburbs  of  chicago  .  they  were  the  parents  who  let  their  rowdy  bunch  ruin  their  perfect  grass  because  they  wanted  to  play  in  the  mud  .  their  parents  may  have  afforded  them  luxuries  that  others  didn’t  have  and  while  their  parents  had  been  busy  people  ,  patrick  and  simone  refused  for  their  children  to  be  raised  by  nannies  .  they  were  heavily  involved  with  everything  that  their  children  did  ,  ranging  from  their  pre - school  graduations  to  their  high  school  proms  .

            auriella  had  always  been  a  rather  outgoing  girl  throughout  high  school  ,  and  she  knew  she  was  cute  so  she  started  an  instagram  page  when  she  was  about  thirteen  or  so  .  originally  ,  her  pictures  were  just  cringey  dirty  mirror  pics  and  photos  with  her  friends  ,  but  as  she  explored  the  app  more  and  more  ,  she  discovered  makeup  and  her  love  for  it  !  so  ,  despite  the  terrible  youtube - tutorial  makeup  that  she  tried  to  recreate  ,  auriella  never  gave  up  on  her  ability  to  do  better  .  as  she  moved  through  high  school  ,  her  makeup  skills  got  better  and  better  ,  so  once  she  graduated  ,  auriella  knew  what  she  wanted  to  do  in  life  !

            she  went  on  to  attend  make  up  first  in  chicago  ,  and  obtained  certificates  in  basic  makeup  i  +  ii  ,  media  makeup  ,  and  media: runway  ,  editorial  ,  and  fashion  .  once  she  was  finished  with  her  schooling  ,  auriella  went  on  to  grow  her  brand  and  get  her  name  out  there  .  she  used  instagram  a  majority  of  the  time  ,  and  thanks  to  that  and  word  of  mouth  ,  she  grew  a  significant  following  and  went  on  to  have  a  few  celebrities  under  her  belt  .  thanks  to  the  help  of  her  parents  ,  auriella  decided  that  she  wanted  to  get  into  the  makeup  business  entirely  ,  and  decided  to  stick  her  foot  into  makeup  production  .

            the  brand  originally  only  focused  on  her  favorite  thing  :  eyeshadow  palettes  !  the  palettes  were  originally  rather  small  ,  consisting  of  four  to  six  colors  as  they  perfected  the  formula  .  she  eventually  began  to  receive  rave  reviews  and  decided  that  it  was  time  to  expand  into  everything  else  :  mascaras  ,  lip  products  ,  foundations  ,  blushes  ,  highlighters  and  everything  else  under  the  sun  .  from  there  ,  kaia  beauty  is  now  being  sold  in  sephora  ,  ulta  ,  and  on  kaiabeauty.com  !  she  had  the  second  largest  foundation  drop  (  following  fenty  beauty  because  we  stan  miss  rihanna  in  this  house  )  .  

            that  being  said  ,  running  her  own  business  is  one  that  auriella  is  still  getting  used  to  despite  it  being  two  years  since  the  launch  .  she’s  thankful  for  the  expansion  of  her  brand  and  she’s  still  working  out  of  her  townhouse  because  she  hasn’t  found  the  perfect  space  for  a  headquarters  just  yet  !  it’s  one  of  her  biggest  dreams  at  the  moment  and  she  wants  to  expand  kaia  beauty  into  skincare  but  the  end  of  the  year  .  

personality  .

the  label  she  mostly  identifies  with  would  definitely  be  the  harlequin  .  she  can  be  really  loud  and  playful  at  times  ,  and  she  can  easily  get  called  out  for  not  taking  things  seriously  .  

at  the  same  time  ,  though  ,  she  can  be  pretty  sexual  in  her  speech  .  she  has  no  problem  with  people  looking  at  her  differently  for  doing  so  .  she  really  lets  a  lot  of  things  roll  off  of  her  shoulders  ,  but  she’d  be  a liar  if  she  said  that  some  things  didn’t  get  to  her  .

auriella  can  be  really  full  of  herself  and  simple  compliments  can  typically  leads  to  her  going  on  and  on  about  herself  ,  so  please  feel  free  to  shut  her  up  at  any  given  time  !  much  like  anyone  her  age  ,  she  can  be  found  prowling  around  on  instagram  or  twitter  and  can  never  go  shopping  without  taking  at  least  three  to  seven  mirror  selfies  .

headcanons  .

she  lives  in  a  beautiful  townhouse  on  west  fourth  street   and  she’s  really  proud  to  say  it  because  she  bought  it  with  her  own  money  !  she  likes  to  be  different  so  she  really  hates  range  rovers  and  instead  drives  an  audi  q5  !  sounds  kinda  dumb  since  she  lives  in  nyc  ,  but  she  likes  it  because  it  gives  her  freedom  to  go  where  she  wants  when  she  wants  to  .

she  never  leaves  the  house  without  a  purse  and  never  without  a  pair  of  earrings  on  (  she  thinks  she’s  ugly  without  them  ) .  she’s  obsessed  with  all  things  cartier  and  she  loves  to  accessorize  ,  but  not  to  much  .  she  keeps  scrunchies  in  her  purse  at  all  times  ,  so  if  you  need  one  just  ask  !

when  it  comes  to  her  style  ,  i  draw  a  lot  of  inspiration  from  instagram  if  i’m  being  honest  .  she  wears  a  lot  of  denim  shorts  ,  oversized  tees  ,  cropped  sweaters  ,  bodysuits  ,  chunky  sneakers  ...  honestly  ,  the  whole  nine  yards  .  for  some  examples  click  x  ,  x  ,  x  ,  x  ,  x  ,  and  x  .

she’s  been  vegetarian  since  she  was  a  kid  because  that’s  all  her  dad  ever  cooked  !  sometimes  the  scent  of  meat  makes  her  sick  and  sometimes  she  fakes  it  so  people  will  leave  her  alone  .  she’s  definitely  the  one  who  shows  up  to  the  function  with  her  fake  burgers  ,  but  you  know  she  has  a  bottle  of  vodka  along  with  it  .

finds  joy  in  doing  the  little  things  ?  she’s  not  the  greatest  at  art  but  really  enjoys  buying  a  canvas  and  trying  her  best  to  recreate  or  create  something  !  probably  gets  a  lot  of  art  ideas  from  tik  tok  (  those  kids  are  seriously  talented  )  and  really  likes  to  do  her  makeup  even  when  she  has  no  place  to  go  .  she  loves  laying  on  her  couch  and  doing  nothing  (  and  sometimes  she  might  be  kinda  naked  when  she  does  it  )  .

secret  .

okay  so  ,  auriella’s  secret  is  that  an  ‘  anonymous  ’  source  leaked  her  nudes  to  the  press  ,  but  her  parents  paid  off  publications  from  releasing  them  .  that  was  mostly  done  because  she  was  about  17 / 18  in  those  pictures  but  of  course  they’re  not  age  on  them  so  there’s  that  !  the  source  of  course  wasn’t  that  anonymous  and  it  turned  out  to  be  an  ex  (  which  is  really  gross  so  this  won’t  be  a  wanted  connection  )  ,  but  she’s  not  ashamed  of  them  by  any  means  !

[parkeraul]

hunger – grease!shawn

a/n: anon suggested me grease!shawn on my askbox and as an obsessed person that i am for the 60′s, here i am trying this one little thing. depending on the feedbacks, this might turn into a series. let me know if you like it. pairing: shawn x reader.  words: 1,594 warning: hints of badboy!shawn and badgirl!reader ahead. boldness is going to be well appreciated in here, my dudes. 

One by one, all of the guys were climbing the bleachers to chill after an intense class. A couple of them quickly grabbing cigarettes, enjoying the opportunity as they couldn’t find that familiar figure of the inspector trailing her way all around the schoolyard looking for people to chastise.  Matt appeared right after, bringing soda drinks to everyone and throwing the cans to his friends and Connor followed, fixing his denim jacket as soon as he made his way to the top.  “Where did you get this?” Brian asked, frowning.  “Uhm... my mom got me this.” He could feel the judgemental stare of the boys nearly turning his body into flames as he checked his own outfit. “Had to drop my leather jacket for laundry...” He tried to justify, tilting his head down in shyness.  “Oh!” Ian aggressively held him by the shoulder and wiggled his limbs after whining. “Is momma’s little boy going to show up in diapers tomorrow too?”  “Shut up!” Connor’s arms tried to push Ian away. “This is trending right now, okay?”  “This is pretty much why the both of you haven’t had sex in 3 months.” Shawn’s raspy voice called them out, teasing them and smirking right after. He pointed his chin to a couple of girls looking up at them and grimacing after walking away.  Everybody in that school knew them. Guys would die to be a part of the crew and girls were always daydreaming about them during classes. Even though they used to give the teachers a hard time, they all had a special place in their hearts as well at the end of the day. And it could be shown by the way the gym teacher complimented their performances in a discreet mode or by the way the biology teacher tried hard to hold back a laugh everytime they joked during a test.  People could either eat them up... or hate the group to death. There was no place in between.  The ones who hated had to hate in silence so they wouldn’t get a taste of Brian’s stupid jokes or Ian’s threatens.  “Why is your girlfriend taking so long?” Shawn spoke in a firm tone, bringing Brian back to reality. “Test happens next class and she’s still not here with her fuckin’ notes.”  "Isn’t she down in there running like a dork?” Matt asked and everyone looked down.  She was hanging out with her old friends Lisa and Claire but holding hands with someone... new.  Lisa seemed to feel annoyed by the situation, so she saved herself from being a part of the party by holding her hands behind her back. Claire and Wendy were carrying the new girl around the school with rushed steps as they talked to her excitedly. Apparently, they were showing her all the spots and places inside the school before french class.  The girl couldn’t help being dragged by the two other loud girls and the grouchy one following behind with eyes constantly rolling. Everybody burning her silhouette with hungry and curious eyes as the skirt of her beautiful dress kept on swaying helplessly because, when her legs weren’t tiptoeing fast across the schoolyard, the wind used to show up a little bit rougher just to collapse against the fabric so it could draw the air with the pretty little patterns of her cloth.  They were all smiles and laughs, curiously studying her eyeliner, the style of her hair, the colour on her lips and the new girl pretended to listen whatever they were talking about as her eyes decided to get lost up in there by the bleachers.  “Who are they?” Capturing at least 5 different pairs of eyes inspecting her, she whispered softly to the girls without breaking eye-contact.  “Shawn Mendes’ stupid gang.” Lisa finally decided to speak, still keeping distance.  “Stupid, huh?” She could barely blink now, trying to confirm the ‘stupid’ concept by finding any typical boyish action.  “They’re not stupid...” Wendy said, toying with her dress to avoid looking Lisa in the eyes.  “You say this because your boyfriend is a part of the clownery.” Lisa calls her out once again, giving the boys a disgusting look and they all look away, except for the curly-haired one.  They start arguing and she seizes the moment to put up an internal challenge of who would dare to look away first?  No need to say that he had the same thing in mind.  “Mendes!” Matt called and he just mumbled a quick ‘Hm?’ “Clean up your chin, man.”  Worried, Shawn raises an eyebrow and has to give up on glancing at the pretty girl surrounded by Wendy’s friends.  “Why?” His hand makes the way up to touch his skin and everyone starts to laugh.  “You’re drooling all over the outsider!” Connor shouted and quickly covered his mouth when he saw Shawn’s fingers making a fist.  “Someone’s getting over Ashley!” Ian teases and the guys are now gathering around to make fun of him while they could.  Because Shawn had been always wearing this serious look on his face and acting like a leader so he would never be seen as the foolish member of the squad – and then nobody would ever try to confront him. And the boys learned to treat him like this after finding out that he wasn’t quite the polite guy when people stepped on his damn nerves.  Lots of hands shaking his body relentlessly and he kept the flat look on his expression, breathing deeply and bringing two fingers between his rosy lips, whistling loud and making the boys step back, fixing all of the jackets and hairs as they kept on joking silently.  Wendy catches Shawn’s eyeballs peeking her and he opens his arms in complain, quietly waiting for her to get the hint of his impatience kicking in.  Wendy finds the stairs and goes upwards, promptly taking a small paper from one of her pockets and giving it to Shawn. When he’s about to grab it, she pulls back.  “Three magic words?” Wendy asks, lips slightly apart as her hand goes to the back of her earshell, waiting for the answer.  “Gimme this shit.” His thick arm stretches towards her, palm open to receive the note as he speaks through gritted teeth.  “Wrong answer, mister.” Wendy turns to steal a quick peck from Brian’s lips and hides the paper filled with the answers to the french test inside the pocket of his black shirt. “Pass it on if he behaves.”  Lisa, Claire and Y/N are down in there near the trees. Lisa checks on her nails and Claire tells the new girl about how lovely Connor is and how she thinks that the rest of the group is about to ruin his innocence. Clearly a crush. And she’s not the only one with a crush.  Wendy has to stop in the middle of her way downstairs.  “Who’s that girl?” Shawn’s tone asks her rigidly.  “What girl?” Wendy plays the fool.  “Don’t fuckin’ make me ask you twice.” He throws and Brian is about to affront. Shawn notices and acts ‘cool’ to avoid fighting his best friend, still keeping his unmistakable attitude. “That one in the pink dress!” He points harshly and then lets his palm smack down against his thigh covered by the tight jeans, trying to vanish away the stress somehow.  Down by the trees, the conversation goes the same way.  “Who’s the curly boy?” She asks and Claire is quick to answer, just like when you ask someone about The Beatles: they could tell you all the details from head to toe by heart.  “Shawn Mendes, the one and only.”  “Her name is Y/N. But you don’t wanna get out with her.” Wendy says.  “But you don’t wanna get out with him.” Claire unconsciously imitates.  “Why not?”  “Her brother is a senior! He’s always bookin’ inside this amazing Camaro and he picks her up after the last classes everyday. You don’t wanna piss him off, believe me. He’s super duper jealous!” Wendy explains.  “He’s a piece of shit.” Lisa gets in the middle and warns. “He broke up with Ashley last summer and I had never seen anyone cry that much after vacation.”  “And no one could ever date him. He’s out of everyone’s leagues.” Claire vents, exhaling deeply. “Lucky ones who ever got their chance to place a kiss right onto his beautiful lips...”  “EW! Seriously, stop that or I’m going to throw up right here right now.” Lisa interrupts and she’s back at glancing him one more time.  As his greenish eyes move to catch hers, she can listen something about how unreal his skills were when things came to music and he could hear how she easily learned 4 languages during her whole life.  “She’s a fox!” Matt slips out... “He’s a hunk!” And Claire copies the context again.  “But you better watch out, ‘cause he’s a badass.” Lisa finishes.  “Go slow, she’s a badass.” Wendy gives her final information.  “Maybe we should see about that.” Both Y/N and Shawn are letting these words fly away from their lips in response and the inspector shows up to call everyone’s attention to head back to their classes. The guys were putting the cigarettes down, the girls were rearranging their skirts and people started walking back to the building.  Classroom filled with nervous students as the teacher walks in.  “Bonjour.” The teacher spoke flatly.  “Bonjour, professeure!” Y/N answers, catching her by surprise.  Well, not only her.  Maybe someone’s not going to need notes in a paper anymore. 

[underthewingsofthblackeagle]

The Murderess from the Grunewald (2): Dr. med. Claire Beauchamp, client

(”Abend” by tookapic)

Previous (chapter 1)

      While Claire enjoyed her first proper bath after six months, Jamie sat on the sofa and stroked Adso, who sat down again on his lap. Together, they waited for the dinner to be delivered. He chuckled as he thought of the little banter with Claire. They would have other things to discuss, heavyweight topics. It was important that these questions be clarified. But not today. Today he wished nothing more than to celebrate her regained freedom with Claire. The months of uncertainty, worry and fear had settled on her like an increasingly heavy, impenetrable fog. From the first day he had met her, he had been able to watch it.  

Six months ago

        It was a cloudy and slightly frosty Monday morning in November 2020. Jamie was already in the car, heading to the office when the picture of Tessa Lüttgenjohann, his secretary, showed up on the screen of his smartphone. He picked up the call and set the device to "Speaker".

        "Good morning, Tessa!"

        "Good morning, Mr. Fraser," came the friendly voice of a young woman from the speaker. 

        Tessa Lüttgenjohann was born in the city of Cologne 28 years ago. She had moved to Berlin, where at the age of 24 she was hired by “Fraser, Gowan & Coll.” She was a young, attractive woman with a beautiful face. Her slim, tall figure was crowned by a head of blond curls. Tessa was also intelligent and highly attentive. More than once “Fraser, Gowan & Coll.” had won a case because she had found important information that was overlooked by the court, the prosecutors or even the lawyers. Tessa was known for her good manners and her work ethics. She really was a hard worker. All in all, she was the best secretary one could wish for. Respected inside and outside of “Fraser, Gowan & Coll.”, she most likely was the best payed secretary in the capital. But in spite of all her qualities, she did not have that special something that could have sparked the fire in Jamie’s heart, which was necessary for him to love a woman. 

        "What's going on, Tessa?"

        "Where are you?"

        "On my way to the office, I'll be there in 15 minutes."

        "Can you park somewhere?"

        "I'll try, just a moment."

        Jamie looked around, turned right, and drove into a side street where he parked his car on the right.

        "So, what 's the matter?"

        "We received an urgent phone call from the British Embassy earlier this morning, a woman, a ... Dr. Claire Beauchamp, a doctor at the Charité, was arrested at her home in Charlottenburg at 5:30 pm. She is suspected of having killed her husband, a Frank Randall, professor at Humboldt University. She was  taken to the State Criminal Police Office, Division K11 and is to be interrogated there. The British Embassy asks us to provide legal assistance. "

        "Is she British? The name sounds more French."

        "She probably has French ancestors, but she has dual citizenship, she has a British and since January 2018 also a German passport."

        "Can not someone else from our office take care this case?"

        "Mr Gowan is at the local court at Lichtenberg all day, defending the tennis coach who has evaded millions of taxes. Mr. Hombach is at the local court in Potsdam as legal counsel of one of the victims of the migrant trafficking case. Mr. Vill has an appointment at the local court in Köpenick, extortion in the rocker milieu. Mr. Sturmfels must go to the district court, hearing for detention ... "

        "O.k., I understand, it sticks to me."

        "I know, Mr. Fraser, that you do not like to work for the British Embassy ..."

        "It's alright Tessa, call the police and tell them that I'll be there in 20 minutes. I hope the client is smart enough to keep her mouth shut until then."

        "I'll do, see you later Mr. Fraser."  

        Fifteen minutes later James Fraser steered his BMW M5 to a parking lot in front of the State Criminal Police Office, a modern gray building he hated since he first saw it years ago. He picked up his briefcase, locked the car and hurried up the stairs to the lobby. He took the elevator, which brought him to the department K11. A secretary at the reception desk reported him to the interrogator. Shortly thereafter, a small, fat man with gray hair and a gray beard appeared and introduced himself as 'Chief Inspector Günther Foos'. James Fraser was not a man who judged people by their appearance or an indefinable 'gut feeling'. But with this man, he immediately felt an inner dislike and his over the years acquired knowledge of the human nature urged him to heightened vigilance.

  (”Fenster” by StockSnap)        

         He asked for a private interview with his client and was immediately led to the interrogation room where Claire Beauchamp was waiting. When he entered, she stood at the window with her back to the door. She was wearing black jeans and a white pullover. Her head was barely recognizable under the mass of dark curls. The sound of the door had ripped her from her thoughts and she had turned abruptly.

         "My Goodness!" was all James Fraser could think of when he saw her. All the trouble that he had had to take over this case had vanished immediately. Somehow, he was even glad that none of the other lawyers had been able to take over this case.

        "Good morning, Mrs. Beauchamp, I am James Fraser of 'Fraser, Gowan and colleagues'. The British Embassy has asked me to provide you with legal assistance. You can choose another lawyer if you wish, but there will probably be a review of the detention order today ... "

        As he reached out to greet her, he uttered his salutation without really paying attention to the words. All his attention was focused solely on the face of the young woman standing opposite him. Her grace and charisma captivated him more and more and from moment to moment as his brain ran its own program. He would do everything in his power to save this woman from the prison. Whether she was guilty or not. Any way and every means would be right for him. And when she was free again, he would court her. He would win her over. He would make her his wife and give her the life and happiness she deserved. He would make her the mother of his children - she and no one else. His father was right: The day he would look into the face of the love of his life, he would know it was her. Today he had looked into that face. It was her. She was the missing part of his soul. He know that he know that he know that he know.

        "Mr. Fraser? Mr. Fraser!"

        The words came slowly and mistily to his ears.

        "Um, yes?"

        "Could I ... get my hand back?"

        She smiled and he felt an unreal lightness. He smiled back to her.

        "My hand, Mr. Fraser?"

        "Hand? Which hand?" He thought. Then he looked down at his hand, which still held Claire's hand.

        "Oh, I'm sorry, I ... I was a little bit in thought."

        Reluctantly, he released her hand.

        "We should sit down and discuss your case, Mrs. Beauchamp."

        She nodded and sat down at the table in the middle of the room where a number of chairs stood. Claire had not missed the lawyer's reaction, neither was she surprised. It had happened often that men looked admiringly at her. But what surprised her was her own reaction. She could not remember how many handsome, attractive men she had encountered in her life. But one thing she knew: none of these men had left such an immediate and deep impression as this giant, who had suddenly stepped through the door of this gray room and introduced himself as her lawyer.  With his read curly hair, the red designer stubble, his big hands and his sharp nose, he looked like a Viking who had escaped a time long forgotten. When he looked into her eyes, she felt as if the sun was rising - after a night of unending darkness. She was startled to discover how quickly and intensely she absorbed the small details of his face: the birthmark on the left cheek, the perfectly curved wings of his nose, the vein that ran vertically over his forehead to the nasal root. The urge to touch his face was almost irresistible. And those eyes! She could have looked endlessly into those blue eyes. But then she felt her right hand and noticed that he was still shaking it.

        Jamie opened his briefcase and took out some papers. One of these he presented to Claire.  

        "This is a power of attorney, please enter your full name and sign below, only then I can defend you."

        Claire's eyes fell on the letterhead: "Dr. James A.M.M. Fraser - Specialist Lawyer for Criminal Law." Then she filled out the form, signed it and gave it back to him.

        "Dr. Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, born October 20th, 1988 in Banbury / Oxfordshire, Great Britain, living in Berlin, Candestraße 17" he read in a low voice. Then he put the paper in his briefcase and took out a pink document.

        "This, Mrs. Beauchamp, is your arrest warrant. You were arrested because you are accused of having killed your husband, Franklin Wolverton Randall, on March 3rd, 2019, at you joint villa in Berlin-Grunewald, Köbelstraße 5. The following motives for murder are given: your husband's marital infidelity and your hatred resulting from this, the desire to gain the assets of your husband as well as his life insurance. It states, that the main characteristics for murder - perfidiousness, avarice and cruelty - have been fulfilled."

        Jamie paused for a moment. Then he looked directly at her.

        "Does this accusation correspond to the truth?"

        "No! I said it last March, I did not kill my husband. All the charges are constructed. I have nothing to do with Frank's death. I found him injured at the foot of the stairs and immediately called the ambulance. I, ... I am a doctor, Mr. Fraser! it is my vocation to help people, to heal them, not to kill them!"

        She looked at him desperately and her expression made him believe that she was telling the truth.

        “We can’t do much today. I will now call the chief superintendent and tell him that you will not testify. That is your right. You have the 'privilege to refuse to give evidence'. Then you will be brought before a custodial judge. I will accompany you. The custodial judge will once again read the arrest warrant to you and ask you if you want to make a statement. You will answer 'no'. Please answer only questions about your personal data – name, age, place of birth, address, occupation. Nothing more! Do not do answer any questions about the case. Do you understand that?"

        "Yes."

        Claire nodded.

        "The judge will then confirm the detention and fill out a detention request. Then you will be taken to a detention center by the police. I think they will take you to the Women's Detention Center in Berlin-Moabit. I'll visit you there as soon as I can. We have to prepare your trial. Maybe the police or the public prosecutor's office will asks if you do not want to make a statement, maybe you will be granted any kind of relief or you are promised that a statement will speed up the trial. If that happens, do not tell them anything and just refer everyone directly to me. Maybe that some fellow prisoner is trying to interrogate you. Prisoners often question other prisoners and then sell their information to the prosecutor's office to shorten their term or to get any benefits. Don't get involved in such a conversation. Do you promise me that?"

        "Yes. Yes, I do."

        "Well, before we go now, a few more questions: Should I inform someone about your imprisonment, maybe relatives?"

        "No, there is nobody there."

        "Really nobody?"

        "No. My parents died in a car accident when I was five years old, I had no siblings, and from then on I was placed under the supervision of my only uncle, Quentin Lambert Beauchamp. He was an archaeologist and a historian. The last years of his life he worked at Oxford University. There I met my former husband, Frank. He was also a historian. After my uncle died we moved to Boston for a few years, and six years ago he followed a call to Berlin, where he worked at the Humboldt-University. His parents are dead too and he also had no siblings, but there is a cousin named Alex. He lives in London and came here for the memorial service. Alex later prepared the funeral. He came to Berlin and together we brought Frank's urn to Oxford. The funeral took place there. But I have no close contact to Alex."

        "So there is no one to inform or for whom I should apply for a visit request? No friends?."

        “Oh, of course, there's Mrs. Fritz. She's my neighbor, and she has a key to my house as well. So please let her know that she feeds my cat, Adso. And then please inform Dr. Joseph Abernathy. He's a cardiac surgeon at the Charité. He and his wife Gail are my best friends. After Frank's death he gave me a job in his department and I'm sure he'll be worried about me."

        Jamie, who had written down everything in a little black notebook, nodded.

        "Okay, I'll do that when we get past the review of the detention order. Any questions? "

        "Not at the moment - except, how do I pay you?"

        "Don't worry about that for now, we'll settle that later, are you ready?"

        "Yes."

        "Good, then let’s go."

        Clair got up, but then had to stop and hold onto the table for a moment. Jamie jumped up and hurried over to prevent her from falling. She looked exhausted and he feared she might collapse.

        "Do you need a doctor, Mrs. Beauchamp?"

        "No, it's okay, thank you."

        He nevertheless held her for a moment longer, looked at her and said:

        "I know that might not be comforting to you now, but I promise you that we will do anything to prove your innocence."

        "Thank you, Dr. Fraser, I'm grateful you took my case."

(JVA Berlin-Moabit by G.Elser [CC BY 3.0; https://creativecommons.org / licenses / by / 3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)

        The review of the detention order took place as Jamie had expected it. The police handcuffed Claire and then drove her with a prisoner transport to the Moabit district court. Jamie followed in his car. In court they were already expected. The custodial judge, a young guy with black curly hair and glasses, read the arrest warrant and questioned Claire. She answered all questions about her personal data, but otherwise refused to say anything more. "Excellent," Jamie thought, "she fully understood what to do." He had no doubts about Claire's intelligence, but too often he had seen how clients in front of a judge forgot all the advice he had given them. As he had expected, the judge ordered further pre-trial detention. The reason given was danger of flight. Claire had to hand over her two passports and then the judge issued a transfer request. Jamie could talk to Claire for a moment private, then she was put back in the transport vehicle, which took her to the prison.

        It was nearly noon when Jamie was back in his car. He paused for a moment before starting the car. He took a deep breath, folded his hands and closed his eyes. Then he spoke a short prayer in Gaelic, which he had learned from his mother. The thought of knowing that wonderful, delicate woman behind the thick walls of the prison almost drove him out of his mind. A few minutes later, he threaded his car into the traffic flow of the German capital. Some time later, when he parked his car in front of Claire's house, he dialed Tessa Lüttgenjohann's number.

        "Fraser, Gowan & Coll. You're talking to Mrs. Lüttgenjohann."

        "Hello Tessa, it's me."

        "Hello Mr. Fraser, what can I do for you?"

        "Please try to get the number and address of a Dr. Joseph Abernathy. He works as a cardiac surgeon at the Charité, and if they appeal to privacy, leave my mobile number and tell him to call me as soon as possible."

        "Anything else?"

        "Yes, prepare a file named 'Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp' and ..."

´       "Oh, does that mean we have the mandate?"

        "Yes, please also inform the British Embassy that Mrs. Beauchamp is our client from today on."

        "I'll do that, and to which lawyer will you assign the case?"

        "No one, I’ll take care of her case, personally."

        Tessa Lüttgenjohann was silent in surprise.

        "Tessa?"

        "Yes, Mr. Fraser?"

        "Put the file on my desk, I'll need it tomorrow morning."

        "As you wish, Mr. Fraser."

        "Good. Thank you!"

        Moments later, Jamie drove the car into the driveway to Claire's house. He got out, locked the car and walked slowly to the house on the left. Already at the entrance to the property he saw the large wrought-iron sign with the words "Fam. Fritz" at the wall of the house. He went to the door and rang the bell. A young woman with short blond hair opened. He introduced himself as a lawyer to Dr. Claire Beauchamp and asked to speak to Mrs. Fritz. The young woman explained that Ms. Fritz, her grandmother, had been hospitalized that morning because of a broken leg. When asked who was going to take care of Mrs. Beauchamp's cat, the young woman turned to a key board, took out a key-chain with a large silver 'C' hanging from it, and handed it to Jamie, saying: "You'll probably have to do that by yourself, Dr. Fraser."

Chapter 3

[lonelypond]

AU YEAH AUGUST: Single Parent

Love Live, NicoMaki, 3K, Day 3: Single Parent AU as requested by Anonymous, hope you enjoy!

mood: Halestorm

Dr. Maki Nishikino was out for an anonymous night on the town. Too many meetings, too many days being orderly and organized, too many evenings at events arranged by the staffs of charities, too many dresses, too many after midnights coming home at 2 a.m., tearing off heels and pantyhose, collapsing on her bed, then crawling out 5 hours later for a five minute shower and a ten hour shift. Too many people. So tonight, she was alone.

Rin had had told about a bar that had a Silent Disco night. You put on headphones and danced in a crowd of other, isolated people. Maki was intrigued. She’d never minded people watching...or people watching her, as long as they didn’t attempt to interact. Headphones on, world off, Halestorm howling.

“There's so much left unspoken

Between the two of us

It's so much more exciting

To look when you can't touch

You could say I'm different

Maybe I'm a freak

But I know how to twist you

To bring you to your knees”

Small bar, but the basement was huge and cool, sawdust scattered across the floor, gargoyles guarding the corner. The lighting was dim, the green, blue, and purple glow from the headphones blips against the darkness. There were a few spotlights, with dancers moving through them, and Maki kept finding her attention drawn to the woman who had claimed the central one. Tiniest person in the bar, face carved of sharp angles and youthful energy, midnight hair loose, blood red eyes bright as a record button in the dark, moves flowing with supple suggestiveness.

More Halestorm in Maki’s  headphones

“ I'll give you one last night

So make it twisted

Give you one last shot, go on and hit it

Give you one last time to make me miss it

Baby, love me apocalyptic

Come on!”

Maki watched the dainty dynamo dominate the dance floor, ebon hair whipping dangerously around her, watched her twist and swivel and swoop and clear everyone out of her spotlight, eyelids flicking closed, sweat dripping down, tongue flicking out to taste it, then a drop and a move that surely only a professional could pull off.

The beat changed, still Halestorm, and the unreal eyes opened, and Maki found out she’d been drawn close enough to be grabbed when a hand captured her wrist. Lush lips mouthed lyrics at her,

“Better be scared, better be afraid

Now that the beast is out of her cage

And I know you wanna risk it

You know you are so addicted

Boy, you better run for your life!”

Pounding, Maki’s heart was pounding, her head was pounding, up and down with the harsh beat, hands were suddenly rough at her waist pulling her closer, lips curled in what could best be described as a wickedly knowing smirk that suggested Maki had already been undressed in a fantasy. And yet Maki’s hands fell onto the shorter woman’s shoulders, as if it were a practiced motion.

And then the music slowed and the mood didn’t.

“Let's take our clothes off

I wanna show you my hidden tattoo

That nobody ever gets to see but you do

Oh baby let me taste ya, shake ya, tie you up and break ya

'Cause I've been alone, left on my own for too long

Oh damn, too long, too long, too long, I say come on”

Slow dances for Maki meant waltzing at formal parties her parents made her go to, but this, this was nothing like this. Hips against hips, eyes closed, finding rhythms, fighting to stay upright, being so aware of someone that Maki felt every breath, being so close to someone that the sweet dripping off their nose slid tantalizingly down Maki’s lips and she couldn’t help but flick her tongue out to taste it, and then it wasn’t Maki’s tongue tasting and she wasn’t hearing the music anymore, although the beat was still there, captured between their hips and Maki was shivering in a corner, being shoved against a wall, hands under her shirt, lips on her neck, eyes impossibly bright watching  as she jerked, a stranger’s fingers probing.

Maki kept it together, long enough to drag the non conversation to her car, long enough for an exchange of names, long enough for an ask, followed by the softest, gentlest pressure of lips against hers, as she whispered yes and then, then Nico was all tongue and twist and Maki screaming.

“Cause there's a new drug, baby, that I can't resist

It's like a thousand bolts of lightning when we kiss

And can you show me now, how can I get my fix?

Is it love? Is it love? Is it love? ”

Sunrise was happening and dinner was breakfast...Maki shook her head, still muddled as Nico handed her a burger and slid next to her. Maki had let Nico drive to the nearest open fast food joint, staying in the backseat, covered by a blanket dragged out of the trunk, still breathless.

“Wow.” Maki breathed.

Nico laughed, a little smug, “Nico’s the best.”

Maki frowned but pushed her shoulder into Nico, playful, sitting up, “French fries?” Nico pulled one out of the bag, offering it to Maki, who leaned forward to bite it in half, “Cute.”

Maki shrugged, “Hungry.”

Nico dropped an arm casually around Maki, as she bit into her burger, “You don’t seem like the backseat of the car type.”

“‘M not.” Maki chewed through embarrassment, not looking at her companion.

“Tell me something about you.”

“I’m boring.”

“That’s not what Nico would say…” Nico’s laugh rolled away Maki’s hesitation and the redhead found herself grinning as they ate in silence, resting against each other. But as the sun rose, practical came back into the world, and Maki sighed at the thought of her overpacked schedule. “I like not worrying about contraception. My hours are too long to have a ‘surprise.’”

“Yeah.” Nico finished her burger and leaned her head back, “Nico prefers full grown surprises with pretty eyes like yours.”

“Do you have many?” Maki wriggled closer to Nico.

“Nope.” Nico shook her head, Maki watching a grin slowly gleam into being, “Nico’s usually a three date kind of girl.”

“So now you owe me three dates.” Maki turned in, curling up, staring at Nico. “Doesn’t this count as one.” Nico winked. Maki’s lips neared Nico’s ear and she enjoyed Nico’s twitch of anticipation before she slowly breathing out, “Nope.” Then she sat up and grabbed the bag, digging for french fries.

Nico tried to sound aggrieved, but there was too much of a hint of a giggle, “Fine, Maki, give Nico your number and I’ll text you. We go on Date One this weekend. Nico will make a picnic.”

Maki slid her hand in Nico’s back pocket, stealing the phone, punching in numbers. Nico wondered if going back for dessert could count as a date, but then Maki’s pout at being ignored pulled Nico back to other sweet thoughts and she stole another messy, slippery, salty, greasy, teasing kiss instead.

“You took me to your little crib

Guess it must have been a big deal (a big deal)

Got me starring in your wet dream

Now it's time to get real (get real)

I'm not looking for love

No not today”

Maki hated her phone. Every day, for the past 97 days, it was a reminder that Nico had never texted or called or shown up at that club at a time when Maki just happened to be hanging out there, for no reason at all. And that Maki had been too busy kissing Nico to text herself from Nico’s phone. Fortunately, when she was on her hospital rounds, her phone was locked away in her office. Tonight, she was on duty in the Emergency Room, one of her favorite shifts. Problems solved and they didn’t linger even if they weren’t. Patients were assigned to general practitioners or specialists for follow ups and Maki moved on to the next thing. Like Nico had. No regret, barely any memory, no...calls...Maki felt her fists clenching as she headed to the nurse’s station for a heads up about her first patient, a young male, 12 years old, who’d been hit by a car while riding his bike.

Maki walked into the room, noticing the slight, dark haired youth unconscious on the bed. Stabilize, send off for tests...her first thought, she didn’t have a second thought when she glanced up to see if a parent was in the room and recognized blood red eyes flooded with tears. Nico hastily sat up a little straighter, her arm quickly raised to hide and scrub the evidence of upset from her face. “Nico?” Maki had been anticipating a raging flood of anger when she saw Nico again, but instead there was a surprised squeak.

“Oh, oh I... I'm your rock n' roll joan of arc

The queen of broken hearts

I'm here to save the world, but who will save super girl?

What if I'm weak and I need you tonight?

I hate it... I hate it when you see me cry”

Cotarou had been sent off for tests, to see how bad the break in his leg was and make sure there wasn’t any internal damage. Nico was sitting in the room, too still, waiting for her brother’s return. Maki found herself walking by the doorway, unnoticed by Nico, too aware of the other woman’s body language. Nico was curled in on herself, frightened, Maki realized, texting furiously on her phone with someone. A lover? No, who would leave someone they cared for alone in an ER like this.  Maki remembered Nico demanding coffee to get through her morning, some awful concoction that was half excessive caffeine, half creamer. Maki could mix up a mess like that from what they kept stocked in the break room so she told the nearest nurse she was taking a brief break and took two cups of coffee to the room to Cotarou’s room.

“Every time I try to get a little closer

You shut down and the conversation's over

I'm right here, but you leave me in the dark

Show me your private parts”

Nico was pacing nervously. Maki stood in the door, watching, thrown by flashbacks to the dance floor, the car, as Nico mumbled to herself, arms swinging around or locked behind her head or stopping to stomp or nudge something with her foot. After realizing Nico was too absorbed in worry to notice her on this night, Maki announced herself with a nervous cough. If both hands hadn’t been full, she would have been twirling her hair.

Nico stopped, arms crossed over her chest, “Is there news?”

Maki shook her head, “Not yet. Worrying won’t hurry the tests, Nico, just wear you out.” Maki extended the right hand cup to Nico, “I remember you drink a disgusting mess of half coffee, half fake dairy.”

Nico snorted, “You only remembered so you could make fun of Nico’s tastes, like you did…” Nico stopped.

“You never texted.” Maki said, still surprised at her lack of anger. But this worried, collapsed into herself Nico was almost the exact opposite of the brash, charming Nico she’d met 3 months ago, and yet, Maki found herself drawn in again, without a spotlight, hyperaware of the other woman’s every mood, every twitch. “It’s been awhile.”

“97 days.” Nico muttered.

“Yeah.” Maki sipped, taking a chair, “What happened?”

Nico sighed, swirling her coffee instead of drinking it. Which needed to change, Maki thought Nico was looking pale and might need a quick sugar hit...maybe she should have grabbed a chocolate bar for her as well.

“It wasn’t you…” Nico grumbled, fist clenched, knee jiggling.

Still no anger, Maki thought, just a harsh roar of laughter, inappropriate for the moment, “So now that you’re here you’re dodging me with cheap, cheesy tropes…” okay, maybe there was some resentment breaking through.  “I...I...kept thinking about you…wondering...”

Uncoiling, Nico chugged the coffee, threw the cup in the garbage can like a major league fastballer, and rushed Maki, who could hear clearly how much hurt Nico was swallowing , “How could I call you? I got home, changed clothes and my mom was on my doorstep with my three siblings. She’d been deployed and was leaving in 12 hours.”

“Oh.” Maki met Nico’s glance, still fascinated by the rare color and these new wounds Nico was leaving open.

Nico pulled back, “Not one surprise, but three...even if Nico thought you could hack it, Nico’s business needed as much attention as her siblings.” Genuine sadness and a sweet smile with no trace of sugary artifice or saccharine fakery, “No time for even one date.”  Nico slumped again, turning away, Maki knowing that the red eyes she’d wanted to see again for the past three months were about to be flooded again.

Maybe a question would give Nico a chance to compose herself. “3 siblings?”

“Cotarou…” Nico stumbled, then inhaled, “Cocoro’s at college and Cocoa was at work when this happened. She waits tables at my restaurant after school.”

“You own a restaurant?” “Nico is the best celebrity chef in the business...Yazawa’s?” Nico nudged, her face recovering some of its sharpness. “Used to be my dad’s.”

Maki shook her head, “I don’t get out on my own much. ‘S my family’s hospital. We’re very active socially, with charity and things like that.” “‘Very active socially’…” Nico sniped, a mocking tone tingeing her retort, “Is that the rich version of ‘too busy and bored out of your mind?’”

Maki chuckled, but before she could answer her com buzzed and Nico’s attention and attitude tensed, “It’s not about your brother.” Maki said after a quick glance.

Nico nodded, but the mood had changed. Maki stood, “I’ll go see if I can find anything out.”

“Thanks, Maki.”

Maki nodded, glad to have gotten Nico speaking in a more natural voice.

“Here's to us

Here's to love

All the times

That we fucked up

Here's to you

Fill the glass

Cause the last few days

Have kicked my ass”

“It is a displaced tibia fracture but the surgery is pretty routine and tonight’s on call orthopedic surgeon is the best, we went to school together.” Maki was speaking to both Nico and Cotarou, who had thankfully escaped concussion symptoms or any internal damage, “Then there’ll be physical therapy to get the leg back to full strength, but we have the best physical therapists in the city.”

“And the surgery has to happen now?” Nico was holding Cotarou’s hand and brushing the hair out of his eyes.

“We need to stabilize his leg so more damage doesn’t occur.”

Nico glared, “If it happened to you, is this the surgeon you would use?”

Maki was taken aback by the fierceness that had taken over the smaller woman. Two orderlies came in, ready to take Cotarou off, but Nico wasn’t going to let go of her brother or the bed until she got the answer she wanted from Maki.

“Yes.” Maki’s head nod was firm, body language as confident as she could make it. “Fine, then Nico approves.” She released the clutch of her hands, kissed her brother on his forehead, “You’ll be okay, Cotorou, Maki’s friend is going to take care of you.”

Cotorou nodded, but he was mostly loopy from pain and medication.

“Nico Nico Ni” Nico did a quick dance and raised her hands to her temple as her brother giggled, “Nico will be there when you’re done, okay.”

The orderlies rolled Cotarou out of the room.

Maki decided to be tall and let herself get as close to Nico as she had all night, hands in her lab coat pocket, surprised by the flush of nervous warmth as she neared Nico and the smaller woman glanced up. Maki stopped when she felt Nico’s arm against hers. Shoulder to shoulder. A totally different dynamic than their last encounter but somehow, standing next to this subdued Nico still felt right. Maki pushed the door open, “I’ll walk you to the waiting room.” Nico stopped on her way out, and started to say something but Maki just leaned down to kiss her cheek, “He’s going to be fine, Nico.”

Nico nodded, her hand brushing Maki’s for a moment, both women wondering if the other had felt the shock too.

“I don't know how to stop

I'll give it all I've got

It's like my brakes are shot

I gotta have too much

I don't know how to stop

It's crazy, but so what?”

Maki’s shift was over. She made a quick fast food run and returned to the hospital, quietly heading for the waiting room where she’d left Nico. Nico was lying on a couch, looking tiny and cold. Maki took off her jacket, laying it over Nico, who startled, waking. Maki offered the bag, “I brought dinner for breakfast.”

Maki sat next to Nico, legs stretched out, bag between them, pulling out the burgers, “So does Yazawa’s have better burgers than this?” Nico shook her head, clucking. “Gorgeous, rich redhead keeps her figure through french fry addiction.”

Maki bit into a fry, then offered the rest to Nico, “Hey, if it works, it works.” Nico, side eye only, glanced over her dining companion, “It works.”

“I don’t mind the surprises.” Maki said slowly, through a mouthful of burger. There was no immediate response, but after a moment Nico grabbed the bag, shoving it out of the way  as she slid closer.

“Hey!” Maki complained, reaching out, “Those are my fries.”

Nico caught her hand, and pulled in the doctor for a quick embrace, “Nico missed your finding me irresistable.” Maki nabbed a fry, “It was the post coital haze.”

Nico’s face wrangled an expression out of disgust and disbelief, “It was good you didn’t try to charm Nico with conversation.”

Maki yawned and stretched, her arm dropping over Nico’s shoulders, “I can be charming,” “Nope.” Nico leaned back, relaxing, “Not your strong suit.”

“Really?” Maki raised an eyebrow. “Really.” Nico curled into Maki, “Stick with cute and warm and really into Nico. Nico likes that.”

“You owe me three dates.” Maki announced.

Nico reached into the bag, pulling out a fry, offering it to Maki with, who leaned forward to bite it in half, “Doesn’t this count as one?” Maki leaned down, her lips once again nearing Nico’s ear, to breathe out a response, but this time she would make Nico shiver as it turned into a kiss, “Maybe two.”

A/N: I wouldn't have thought Halestorm would fuel a Single Parent AU, but here were are.

For those waiting for a Casual Lunacy update, I'm reading through the whole thing to make sure I wrap up all the plot threads and closing out Merry Wives of Windsor this weekend. After that, I'm planning to post the first of the 4-6 chapter final arc at the end of next week.

There is a playlist.

Drop a comment and take care!

[packratblog-blog1]

Hong Kong 🇭🇰

Hong Kong is a unique beast. It’s two sets of sharp teeth stretching high into a vast and often humid sky, skyscrapers and high-rises compete with each other for height, space and architectural magnificence, glaring at and taunting each other across Victoria Harbour. Beast is a term that gestates two major connotations; majestic and wild. It’s not a term that I choose to use lightly, but the images and ideas it fosters in the mind are completely relevant. This is a place that is a living, breathing contradiction…in the best possible sense. Hong Kong is Western yet firmly taking its place in the East, has one of the highest per person per capita densities on the planet, and yet has an insane amount of park and green space (surprisingly only 25% of its land has been built on!), these being just two basic examples. The beast is fascinating. Situated on (and off) the southern coast of the Chinese mainland, Hong Kong is made up of islands, in fact there are at least 200 of them, with Hong Kong Island and Lantau Island being the largest and most territorially significant. As well as this Kowloon Peninsula and the New Territories also make up the areas connected to the Chinese mainland, all in all constituting what we today call Hong Kong. You may be left asking a common question by this; “Is Hong Kong Chinese then?" …My answer is a frustrating one; it’s a yes and a no, and it’s giving an answer on this that the history nerd in me is really my best ally. Hong Kong’s full and long-winded name is the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People’s Republic of China. So by that definition, yes, it’s Chinese. However, the Special Administrative Region aspect is really important. This means that Hong Kong is given autonomy from Beijing and up to a point, governs itself. More questions. The next logical one is why then is it separate from the rest of China and why does it have this special status? As is the answer to many historical, geopolitical lines of questioning, the short answer is, “the British.” Britain colonised Hong Kong at a considerably late point in the grand scheme of its colonial history and governed the territory consistently between the end of the Second World War and 1997. It is this aspect of Hong Kong’s past that makes it the unique beast that we know and love today. From the 1970s onwards Hong Kong’s unique status and decreasing need for British rule gradually paved the way for what is widely known as ‘The Handover’, and on July 1st 1997, sovereignty of the city was given back to the Chinese. Hong Kong’s considerable cultural, financial and political differences to China are all aspects of Beijing’s decision to give autonomous leeway when negotiating the Handover with Britain and establishing the city-state afresh for the future. In the wake of The Handover, today Hong Kong stands as an economic powerhouse, a bridge between East and West, and in terms of further human standards, as a beacon of the future; it boasts the planet’s longest life expectancy for its residents. So yes, Hong Kong is a beast. However, it's entirely possible to love a beast, beasts are fascinating. Mike Tyson had his tiger, Slash keeps a few hundred snakes apparently and numerous Bond villains have had sharks and stuff. Beasts, while not docile, comfortable pets like rabbits or kittens are unique and wild, they’re lovable because they’re as interesting and as unpredictable as hell. It’s for that reason that this post is a love letter. I love Hong Kong. Hong Kong just works, it’s an unbelievable place that’s a testament to human efficiency and co-existence. When Hong Kong’s population (approximately just under7.5 million people as of last year) is compared with its land mass (of around just under 3000 square kilometres), the number crunching tells you one specific, standout fact; that’s an insane amount of people for an insanely small place in comparison). It’s despite this population density, the planet’s fourth largest (more on that in future posts), that Hong Kong really does just somehow work. Traffic is an issue but not in the same way as it is in other major global conurbations, the people follow rules such as walking on the right side of the pavement/sidewalk to alleviate congestion and they follow jaywalking laws to a tee. The city’s fantastic metro system (the Hong Kong MTR) is clean, efficient and consistently modernised, it can get you to any corner of Hong Kong and it even runs on time! (I’m from England…google ‘Train reliability in Britain’ if you want to find out more about why I’m amazed at trains running on time). And while I’m singing the praises of Hong Kong running like highly modernised, mechanised clockwork there is still that amazing unpredictability that sets my teeth on edge. You can walk along one street with gleaming, modern skyscrapers, your nostrils filled with the scent of Char Sui buns from local street vendors, then turn a corner and be surrounded by quaint Chinese streets filled with Buddhist temples and the smell of incense hanging in the air. It’s unique: It’s modern, it’s steeped in history, and it truly is like nowhere else I’ve ever been. We’ve both been endlessly excited to get back here and it still holds a tonne of new experiences and insights for both of us that we just can’t wait to get our teeth into. Can you tell I’m hungry? Yep, the food’s unbelievable too. With all of that in mind, let's get started on some of my favourite things about Hong Kong... AREAS/PLACES TO VISIT: - Victoria Harbour: The harbour can be seen from either side and whichever way you choose it's always impressive. Arguably though, if you had to choose one or don't have time for both, visit the harbour on the Kowloon side around evening time. If you're lucky (and depending on the time of year) you'll get to see the skyline in the daylight and after a slight wait of an hour or so you'll get to see it lit up for the evening (at 8PM there's a light and sound show each evening which is mega impressive!) I love Victoria Harbour, I believe that if I saw it every day it still wouldn't become something that doesn't blow my mind. - Garden of Stars: Get the MTR to Tsim Sha Tsui and two minutes away is Garden of Stars. This place is very cool, it's Hong Kong's equivalent of LA's walk of fame. Rather than the stars in the pavement/sidewalk, Garden of Stars features handprints and monuments from some of HK cinema's biggest names. The coolest part though? They have this amazingly detailed Bruce Lee statue that really, if you're a martial arts fan, you've kind of GOT to make the voyage to see! - Victoria Peak: Yeah, it's a tourist thing to do but even if you're the kind of person that hates that you should still 100% make the trip up. I'm a skyline and building nerd, and to be honest, besides from the Kowloon side of the harbour, nowhere else in the city gives you a better view (with so many different angles) of HK's unreal skyline. Again, you never get accustomed to that view, it melts my mind. Ocean Park: You won't often find me visiting many theme parks (not out of dislike, I just don't tend to!) However, Ocean Park is very cool. It's equal parts theme park (with rollercoasters and other rides), stunning island-to-sea views, an extensive aquarium and a pretty big outdoor zoo. The best part...they have pandas, and it's unbelievable to see them up close, it's worth a trip just for that. Since I last visited HK last October, Ocean Park now has it's own line on the MTR, which is much easier than the previous bus that was required to make the journey. - Big Buddha Monument: Definitely the largest Buddhist monument I've ever seen, it's situated at the top of a mountain and it's amazing. There's a great cable car trip up there which provides some great photo and video opportunities up over the bay. - Ten Thousand Buddhas Monastery: The name sums this one up, it's a hike to get up to the main area of the monastery but the whole way is lined with SO many different Buddhist statues. There are even more at the top where you're also rewarded with great views and some really cool temple buildings. - Kowloon Walled City Park: I get these weird things that I become fascinated by and I end up doing endless research on them...Kowloon Walled City is one of them. The Walled City was a former shanty town which occupied a full city block on Kowloon Island up until as recently as 1994 when it was demolished. It may sound boring, but I saw a documentary on it years ago and became amazed at it's ramshackle, improvised stacked-up architecture. Google it to learn more (as I could go on for ages about this)...it truly is fascinating to consider how the place became a city entirely of it's own. Since demolition in the mid-90s, the city block it once occupied has been transformed into a lush, tranquil park which acts as a great relief from the hectic pace of HK for the locals. To visit was very cool, and it was unbelievable to stand in the centre and imagine the place going back 30+ years. FOOD: Before I start this, I want to state that Hong Kong's food is magnificent. I'd argue that the city is worth visiting just for the food alone (it's that good!) While this isn't an exhaustive list because I could go on forever, this is a list that I've tried to include some different options and price ranges... - Cafe de Coral: It sounds French, it isn't. Cafe de Coral is a large chain in HK. They provide phenomenal Cantonese food with the efficiency of McDonalds. While it's great at any time of the day, what I love about Cafe de Coral is that it's always busy, it's always full of locals which speaks volumes for the food. It's also a good cheap option which makes it great for backpackers and other budget travellers. - Maxim's MX: MX is much like Cafe de Coral and have sprung up all over the city over the last year. It's extremely similar to Cafe de Coral in both the food served and the mode of service as well as price. It's worth visiting both at some point though, as they both have delicious signature dishes of their own! - Tim Ho Wan: There are a few of these phenomenal restaurants dotted around the city. We recently visited the North Point location (a few times, I have to admit), and it's hands down the finest Dim Sum at a reasonable price in Hong Kong, I can't recommend it highly enough. Hong Kong gets more and more interesting and exciting each and every time I visit, we'll be back to visit in a few weeks time. Before that though we cross the border into a place I've always been fascinated by: mainland China. Hong Kong, we'll see you again soon...Shenzhen, we'll see you even sooner!

[gwenore]

Revenge of the Werecat.

Hi, @little-inkstone finally it is the 1st of May. I have really loved talking and getting to know you over these weeks... even if tumblr has eaten quite the amount of messages... and it is still a miracle that I have not forgotten to put on the annon button... though I felt that I had several times... 

I really hope you like this little fic. I also threw a werelizard in there, but... hopefully you do not mind. 

Synopsis: Gold works for a institution which research the outbreak of a strange new illness which seem to turn people feral and become animalistic and is put in charge of a feline-like woman who was named Belle French before her infection.

Written for @maydaymenagerie exchange. 

Mr. Gold was sitting at his desk in the observation room which had now been made into his makeshift office as he was ordered to keep a certain… creature under observation.

The Organization who had recruited… or forced him at gun point would be more accurate… to help with finding a cure for this new illness.

How it had started no one knew… most suspected a sort of genetic experiment gone wrong, though that description was a shot in the dark and too general to be of any use. Though all agreed it did not seem natural.

All they knew is that when the infection would enter the bloodstream of a victim, cell death would speed up at an insane rate with then new cells being created but these… were different. The cells were different… altered.

This caused a myriad of different mutations depending on the strain that the person was infected with.

One had commented it was as if the victims were turned into animals, as it would certainly seem that way from the symptoms. Rapports of people growing fur and scales… claws and fags, even hooves and tails…

To Gold it would have been hilarious had it not been actually happening.

These infected did also seem to get a more feral mindset seemingly loosing the ability to speak and act rationally. Most also became greatly aggressive, biting and clawing everyone not infected.

What was most terrifying about this new illness was how easy it was to contract it. While not airborne, any contact with infected blood in an open wound or any of the mucus membranes seemed to be enough to contract the disease. This with those infected more aggressive state made it spread extremely quickly.

Among the people these were known as were-creatures, or with the species that they had started to look like. Some did not think it was a disease at all, claiming it was magic.

Gold let out a scoff thinking of that. There was no such thing as magic.

Most of these infected were simply shot on sight, their bodies burned and disposed of. However if caught in the early stages of the process were brought to this facility to be studied. There were not many they took alive.

The one in the glass cage in his makeshift office was one of them.

Her name was… or had been… Belle French, a librarian if her file was correct.

She was now glaring at him with narrow pupils as her pointed furred ears laid back against her head. Having been stripped of her clothes she was holding the blanket around her body… a sign that she still had a sense of modesty, even as brown fur was now covering most of her body.

She had grown a tail seemingly just before she came to them, now curled around her, the claws on her feet and hands constantly barred, as was her sharpened teeth.

As far as Gold knew she had lost the ability to talk, though it was undeniable intelligence behind those blue cat-like eyes of hers.

Most in the facility that knew of her simply referred to her as the werecat… which… he could not deny there was certain reason for calling her that, even if he disliked it. It was as if it was robbing her of the little humanity she had left.

Talk also revolved around her beauty to which… well… he could also see that.

Even now, sipping from the whiskey that he had smuggled in for his over night shift he could not deny that she was indeed… beautiful. How tragic that something would have befallen someone like her. She was young… beautiful… with her whole life ahead of her…

And now she had been reduced to an animal in a cage. It would have been funny had it not been so tragic.

He sighed.

He did not know what would happen to her when they had gotten all the answers that they could get from her. It was not his place to care.

It was clear she hated him… he could not blame her.

“Another night just you and me huh dearie?” he asked her with a light chuckle in his voice as he lifted his glass towards her in a mock toast. The feline-like woman hissed towards him.

“I feel the same way, kitten,” he murmured at her as he picked up his book in order to read some, but quickly lost interest and tossed it on the table… or it was meaning to hit the table. What really happened was that he misjudged the throw and it slid off the table and towards the glass wall.

Mr. Gold shrugged. He was going to pick it up later.

Drinking down his glass he noticed some movement out of the corner of his eye. Glancing over he saw her move close to the glass wall, still covering her body from him, but her slit eyes were looking curiously at the book. He cocked his head.

“What… you want to read it?” he mused only met with another hiss. Swallowing down the remains of his drink he stood up, taking the cane for his bad leg he moved over, picking up the book and then pulled out her feeding tray.

Mistrust was glowing in her eyes as he pushed it through.

“Well… it is not like you have to read it,” he chuckled as he moved away, pretending to not care as he sat himself down again and poured himself another drink.

Glancing over his shoulder he then saw her slowly moving towards the push tray, picking up the book and gently caressing it in her clawed hands. Slowly drinking it down, he did not mind the burning in his throat… he was used to it by now.

With a loud sigh he stood up and moved towards the research desk, which forced him to put his back towards her. He never liked to do that, but he had to check on the blood samples… which was always nerve wrecking work.

Perhaps drinking was unwise, but… he found it helped him steady his hands… or… that was what he told himself.

After he had checked everything was alright with the blood samples, noting in the journal that nothing had really changed.

Slowly he turned towards her again, looking curiously as it seemed like the feline looking woman had started to read. This puzzled him… did she retain her ability to read? That was a surprise…

She had seemed rather… intelligent… he had to admit that. There was an intelligence within those blue eyes… or that was what he imagined…

He simply shrugged, rubbing the ridge of his nose groaning slightly. He hated being in this place… it could burn to the ground for all he cared. But with the not so unreal gun being put to his head… there was very little that he could do about the matter.

Mr. Gold was a man who had several regrets in his life… and this… getting himself into this mess… it did not even register…

At least the bottle of whiskey would take his mind of things until he could go home in the morning… only to be forced back a couple of hours later…

With these thoughts in mind he poured himself another glass, this one nearly to the brim.

“Cheers dearie,” he lifted his glass to his feline companion, though this time the expected hissing did not come, instead the creature hardly looked up from the book he had handed her.

“Fine… now I don’t have the pleasant distraction of our delightful conversations,” he chuckled slightly as he continued to swallow down his drink, not noting the scowl she gave him over the ridge of the book.

  The night progressed as normal, Mr. Gold having to admit that he had been too much liberal with his smuggled in whiskey and was having to sit struggling to suppress his inebriation, continuing to rub the ridge of his nose.

The timer then went of to let him know that he was having to check on the samples again. He let out a loud groan, it was the last thing he wanted to do, but… he knew well enough that those who were found lacking in their work were… demoted…

To the state of experimental subjects.

It was a fate that he would rather avoid.

He was feeling strangely nervous his heart pounding within his chest. It was as if he had a foreboding feeling and that something was not quite… right…

As he was considering a vial… having to fight his inebriation to do his work. He hold it firmly, not daring to think much about what were going to happen if he were to drop it.

The sound of the alarm was seemingly shaking through the compound for a minute just before it was left in darkness one moment before the red warning lights were turned on.

The pain of class piercing the palm of his hand was pure agony and he would have let out an ear piercing scream had not the overwhelming fear which paralyzed his vocal cords left him unable to even let out even a whimper.

As the blaring of the siren died down he heard his office door locked shut while the door the infected woman’s cell opened and he was at her mercy.

  Gold covered into the corner, staring with terror in his eyes as the so called werecat walked out of her cell. His blood was dripping onto the floor, the pain so great that he felt that his hand was shaking, but… he did not dare to look away.

Desperately and terrified a thought entered his mind.

This wasn’t an accident.

He was certain that this was not an accident.

Why would the cell door open if it was an true emergency?

Someone wanted him dead… or far worse than death. They wanted him alive, but wanted him to loose everything. His freedom, his family and even his mind which he had taken such pride in.

He closed his eyes then. He did not wish to see his end coming.

Feeling her close to him, he let out a slight nervous whimper, trying not to show how terrified that he really was.

To his surprise she did not dig into him with her sharp claws and teeth, instead she knelt down by his side and gently reached out and petted his hair comfortingly.

“We… we need to get out…” she whispered to him. He looked at her confused wondering just what she had said… had he… had he really heard her speak.

“What…?” his voice was shivering.

“We need to get out,” she repeated towards him. “They are going to do bad things to us.”

He could not believe what was happening.

“Wait… us?” he repeated. She glanced down at his hand, his eyes following and saw the glass poking out of his hand.

“We are the same now… you are infected,” he could hear that her speaking was strained, but it was at least understandable.

Still looking at his bleeding hand he knew that the content of the vial had mixed with his own. He tried to make an excuse… that he might have escaped contamination… but he could not believe himself to make him believe his own lie.

He whimpered, looking up at her, his eyes filled with tears and pleading.

“What is… what is going to happen to me?” he whimpered towards her. She blinked her eyes gently, a strange compassion in her animalistic eyes.

“You are going to change… after that… you know what is going to happen if they catch you,” she said. He knew well what was going to happen… he had seen it so many times. It was just a bit different when it was him on the line.

Slowly he got himself up to his feet, his hand shivering, trying to keep his mind collected. He tried to think about how to get out of this place… but… he was coming up with nothing. The walls were reinforced… the door was steel… no windows.

Call for help? Hah… that thought was laughable. His so called colleagues had trapped him in here and even if not all of them were in on it he would not know who he could trust.

Watching his blood and the shattered glass washing down into the sink he simply lowered ihis head.

“There is no way out…” he muttered.

“What…?” she asked shivering. “You must know a way out, you work here! I have seen you come and go several times!”

He simply chuckled at her insistence as he was shaking his head.

“No… I am actually just as trapped as you are kitten. You don’t think I want to be here do you? They threatened to take everything from me…” he let out another desperate chuckle, the amount of alcohol making him just find it funny. It might be just a fit of insanity… but if anything could excuse a man going mad… the night that Mr. Gold had been having would qualify.

“And now they have!” his low chuckle had now turned into a near desperate giggling.

He watched over at the feline woman as her pointed ears were laid back, that small blanket hardly covering her form as he bandaged his hand out of habit. Her cat-like eyes were welling up with tears.

“So… this is it then…” she murmured. He nodded.

“That would be my guess,” he shrugged, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“What are… what are we going to do?” she looked nervously over at him.

“Get drunk?” Mr. Gold shrugged his shoulders, earning him a glare of the feline woman, her tail flicking slightly. He simply cocked his head slightly.

“Don’t judge me, kitten, if we are going to be put down tomorrow… not to mention that until then… it is not going to be pleasant until then, and as I cannot remember what strain was in the vial, it is also going to be a surprise… so fun times,” his voice was filled with desperation though what could only be seen as insane chuckles.

“I guess… I guess that getting drunk is not going to do anything bad at this point,” she admitted. A silence fell between them as they sat themselves against the wall where they could watch the door. Gold grabbed around his whiskey and swallowed down, before grabbing it, handing it towards her, her taking it slowly, swallowing softly, before starting to cough, something that earned her a chuckle from the scientist.

She scowled at him ever so slightly before she handed it back for him to take him a drink. After he swallowed he put it down there was a silence falling between them.

“Is it going to hurt?”

He was not even aware that he had asked the question. Belle looked over at him and blinked her eyes softly, before giving him a soft nod.

“Yes… it is going to hurt a lot,” she then said. He blinked and nodded, thinking for a while.

“So… why did you not speak before now?” he asked with a wonder in her eyes. She shrugged her shoulders ever so slightly.

“I thought it wouldn’t be safe…” she then said. “It would be too dangerous… to let you know… I was not like… everyone else.”

“Wise choice,” Gold simply stated and with her sharp eyes she could see sweat start to appear on his forehead and his breathing was heavier.

Even his smell was different… muskier… more bestial.

It was exciting to her, making him unwittingly move closer to him.

“Do you… do you feel it?” Belle asked leaning over to him.

“I… I do…” he was panting softly as he looked down at his hand to see scales spreading across his hand.

“Scales…?” Belle pondered ever so slightly as she curiously stroked along them. The feeling of her fingers against the scales which was spreading rapidly… feeling like pins and needles across his skins… it was making him feel… warm.

He was unable to answer her, heavily breathing as his lips parted as she saw his teeth became sharp like that of a large predator. As he looked into her eyes, she saw his pupil narrow much like her own and the color turned from a warm brown into a golden yellow.

A slight fear went through her body as he reached out his own hand and touched her shoulder, leaning closer as long sharp claws burst out of his fingers. She knew well that most having turned would become feral and attack.

But his touch was not painful… it was gentle.

The look in his now reptilian eyes were that of fear and confusion. She was not certain that he was really knowing what he was doing, but there was no viciousness. Slowly she reached up her own clawed hand and touched his cheek.

“Just breathe,” she whispered to him, leaning closer and leaned her forehead against his own.

“You… you went through this…?” he gritted his teeth as he panted.

“Yes…” she buried her face in his neck, the blanket that she wore around herself were slipping off slightly. He was smelling so good and made her move closer to him, brushing her hand through his hair.

“Does… does it hurt?” she could not keep from letting out a low purr. His hand slowly slipped from her shoulder, down her side and hip, her being so warm, her moving her body against his hand.

“It feels as I am burning…” he groaned as he lifted his eyes, and she could see them glowing. “I am so cold… but I am burning…”

He let out a moan as he continued to gasp, his clawed hand grasping around her leg as her tail were bushy, flicking. Slowly her lifted his head and kissed his lips softly.

“What are you…?” he asked confused, as her hands continuing to caress his hair, as she got up on her knees, her blanket sliding of her body. A low rumble came from Gold’s throat as he let his reptilian eyes go over her body.

She was beautiful.

His claws were caressing over her body, as her own was unbuttoning his shirt, the fur down her back standing on end.

“Don’t know… just… you smell good,” she purred softly, her hands slipping inside his shirt and caressing his chest where scales were starting to form as well.

“So do you…” his voice was a low murmur, continuing to feel her nude form under his clawed hands. Sitting up she leaned over him, straddling him as she continued to rub against his hand, desiring his touch more.

“But… but should we…? Aren’t we just giving into these… beastly instincts?” even as he spoke his hands were continuing to caress her, down the small of her back, feeling her long slender furred tail.

The feline-like woman let out a soft moan as she grinded her hips, feeling his erection against her pussy, her claws continuing to run through his hair, pulling slightly as she forced him to look into her eyes.

“If we are to die tomorrow… why fight it? Just give in… please… I need you…” Belle whispered heatedly in his ears.

He gritted his teeth before he lifted his head and their lips met, his long tongue caressing against hers, his own tongue spitting and becoming forked as it moved against her rough one. She was correct… what use was it to worry if their life was to end?

Even as changes were wrecking through his body, he found himself growing warmer… more lustful. Pushing her down under him he stood over her, her letting out a low hiss in surprise, her hands moving down, ripping open his pants, pushing it down.

A loud gasp came from his lips as he felt her touch him, her soft fingers against his heated flesh.

“You are hard…” she murmured softly in his hair, kissing his lips. He did not respond simply scraping his long sharp claws into the floor. His eyes were wide… however, his panting rough and labored.

She understood, trying to ease him as she continued to place gentle kisses on his lips. She knew the pain and fear he was going through.

“Don’t fight it… it only hurts if you fight it…” she whispered to him. He lowered his head, taking in the smell of her neck as he lapped at her skin with his long forked tongue.

Belle closed her eyes, a purr coming from her lips as her claws ran down his back, feeling his scales through his shirt.

A gasp came from her lips as she felt something brush against her side, a long scaly tail which wrapped around her own in a gentle grip.

“I… I need…” she heard him pant in her ear.

“Yes… me too…” she moaned as she spread her legs, wrapping them around his hips, welcoming him in, still holding him close to her as he was kissing her neck.

Belle let out a loud gasp of pleasure, digging her feline claws into his scaly skin as she felt him thrust inside her. She had been dealing with this heat and restlessness in her body for so long. He hardly felt the sting of her claws, overtaken with instinctual pleasure.

In that moment none of them could speak.

There was no use for such things as useless as human words. After all… they hardly could be seen as human any more.

He could only think of the pleasure and the warmth as he was certain that the room chilled to a blazing cold around him. She was beautiful… and she was warm. Desire was too weak and dull of a word to describe what he felt for her.

He wanted her. It was primal and basic.

He wanted her, he wanted her to be his.

These were the only thoughts the once brilliant scientist was able to think in this moment. His imminent death… his fate…

Oh how far that was from his thoughts. Her was all that mattered.

He trusted his hips further, wanting to feel more of her… more of her warmth.

He was so cold. So… cold.

Belle felt as if she was on fire, feeling at how he teased her with that forked tongue, flicking ever so gently over her skin as he moved within her.

She had feared him… perhaps even hated him.

But… he had shown her kindness… there had been a compassion in those dark eyes of his… if also a resignation that he could not help her… not that she could blame him… she knew also what could happen.

She had observed him for a long while, how he seemed to loathe himself more than anyone else could ever hate him. It had always made her wonder why… he was not trapped… he could leave. But… she had been mistaken.

He may not have been put in a cage… but he was no more free than she was.

A sharp trust made it harder for her to think… finally… she was getting some sort of relief…

She moved her spine along with his movements, adoring the feel of his tail wrapped around hers. Pleasure were glowing in both their slit eyes as they met, panting loudly.

Belle lifted her head as her lips met his against running her claws though his hair.

“I am… I am going to…” he groaned softly.

She was not able to answer him, simply mewling softly as she continued to grind herself against him, feeling pleasure building up within her.

His desirous moan in her ear as he came within her, his sharp teeth tickling her sensitive sharp ear with his teeth and forked tongue, causing her to giggle even in her pleasure induced stupor.

“You are beautiful…” he murmured as he kept gazing at her with his reptilian eyes. “If only… if only we could have had more than this one moment…”

She simply hushed him, hugging him close.

“Please do not speak… just hold me… please do not let me go…” she whispered softly as she refused to let him go.

He then nodded his head, resting beside her on that cold laboratory floor, their tails twinning around each other.

“I promise… I promise,” he whispered softly to her as he brought her closer, hiding his tearful eyes in her soft hair as the clock was mercilessly ticking forward to morning.

  Mr. Hopper… or Archie as most called him were running through the corridors.

Everything had gone wrong… he did not know what, but the whole place was destroyed, the creatures roaming the facility now.

“Mr. Gold!” he was pounding on the door to his laboratory, knowing that he had been locked in with one of those that were infected. “You in there?! Everything… Oh dear…”

“Mr. Hopper,” He heard the calm voice of Mr. Gold from the inside. “I am alright, but it seems the door has jammed. Can you open it?”

Archie had to admit he was astonished by how calm that Gold was able to keep in this situation, but he always had a cool head.

“Yes, yes! Just give me a moment,” he was quick to say as he pulled the override lever for the door. The moment the door opened he was pushed back towards the wall.

Pushing his glasses up on his nose he was lost of word as he looked at the fate of his colleague and the woman at his side.

“Thank you Archie… I knew I could count on you,” the reptilian creature grinned as he and the feline woman ran away in the midst of the chaos, far away from those that would wish to capture them.

[distantwitness]

Repost: #KillAllMen Is Feminist Liberation Through Satire

This blog is purely about my research into visual depictions of human suffering, but because I am being personally attacked on a medium I use professionally I feel it is appropriate to share here. 

Please distribute as you see fit and nolite te bastardes carborundorum. 

Originally posted at Laywers, Guns and Money.

Trolls aren't just after me, they're after your rhetorical tools in speech against oppression

Days after my twelve-hour suspension from Twitter ended, the trolls have returned under the same absurdly bad faith humanitarianism. 

The first lockout was annoying but it ended before I knew it. An evening spent on a romantic date with my very male husband made the time pass easier. 

This time I'm locked out for seven days, and when I'm a writer who depends on Twitter for contacts and research this is no minor inconvenience. My husband and I can't eat out at nice French restaurants for seven straight days, Groupons have some pretty strict limits.

On March 19th I lampooned a Federalist article, penned for the purposes of the gun control debate, proclaiming that all men are born violent. Well if that's so, then the only logical response for women, the disproportionate victims of men's violence, have no choice but to #killallmen. 

To interpret this joke of mine, which is quite clearly a joke, as an endorsement or threat of violence is stupid. Even more stupid is that the joke was banned even as it floated above an article with quotes like, "A man’s nature cannot be repressed...Men were made for the intentional use of force and power." Whatever your thoughts on Punch RockGroin's parenting advice, the response of "#killallmen" cannot be seen as a serious and to do so is either profoundly stupid or profoundly dishonest. In order for "#killallmen" to be a credible threat, it has to have some basis in reality. Spoiler alert: It does not.

An Unreal Hashtag

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that #killallmen, at least in my use, is just a joke. It is satire, and as I am currently teaching satire in world literature to British secondary students, let me tell you satire is deadly serious. To be a satirist is to identify oppression and to take power back by upending the dominant narrative. I can't claim to be the inventor of #KillAllMen, but allow me to explain the way I use it. Feminists and their male allies are constantly calling out abusive behaviours of men to stop, whether it be street harassment, unequal pay, dictating reproductive rights, etc. The response of anti-feminists is frequently to say that we are trying to end masculinity, that we are weakening men (see the Federalist article cited above), that all our desired policies will be the death of men. 

Turn of the century anti-suffragette postcard and their imagined women's violence against men. Plus ca change...

A Men's Right's Activist created meme featuring feminist video games critic Anita Sarkeesian.

It is ridiculous. So what does a satirist do when faced with an oppressive ideology that is in fact quite ridiculous? We mirror it. We say, "Yes, Kill All Men!" Because it is an absolutely ludicrous conclusion to draw and the louder you say it the stupider it sounds. We are echoing stupidity not to imitate it, but to mock it and strip it bare. 

I don't particularly care if anyone thinks I'm good at satire, all that is subjective. What I do care about are readers interpreting the function of my satire correctly. You don't have to laugh but you also don't have to phone up Interpol. Just imagine I'm a white male stand up with a beer belly on Comedy Central and change the channel when I'm not funny.

The "Threat" Against Men 

What makes "#KillAllMen" a non-serious threat where "#KillAllJews" or "#KillAllGays" are much more dangerous? The simple answer is reality. We know that there are armed groups out there with the intent, opportunity, and historical record of killing Jews and gay people. Nothing similar exists when it comes to male identity. Is there an organized armed group out there with the stated mission of eradicating all XY genes?

No.

There are however armed groups, like the military in Myanmar and the government in Chechnya, who wish to wipe men from specific ethnicities or even sexual orientation off the face of this Earth. But these threats are typically carried out by other men, and there is plenty of evidence to show the perpetrators are happy to carry on killing and assaulting the women associated with the victimized men. Women from the same group as those engaging in the violence may even show support, but they do not do as individual actors autonomous from the men running the murder show. Are men more likely to be targeted for assault simply because of their gender identity as men?

No.

Men whose physical appearance marks them as members of an out-group are absolutely uniquely targeted for violence. Black men, Latino men, Jewish men, Muslim men, gay men, men who dress in traditionally female clothing, all of them have been victims of one hate crime or another. The FBI doesn't keep statistics on the gender of the attackers in hate crimes, but individual reports of women engaging in violent physical confrontation solo against men are rare if not unheard of. Nowhere is there any evidence that men are under attack by women simply for their identity as men. 

Are men more likely to be victims of domestic violence or sexualized violence? No-ish.

Men, as well as young boys, are absolutely victims of domestic violence. No serious advocate would try and tell you otherwise. Men in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships can experience physical abuse at the hands of a partner. Male children are also vulnerable to abuse from mothers and not just fathers. However, there's a difficulty in assessing whether they are more likely because of the stigma around reporting. Women are simply more likely to report intimate physical abuse. 

It is my own personal opinion that men and boys have a much harder time coming to grips with physical and sexual abuse and might very well need more support in the short term. Women are absolutely guilty of abusing men with prejudice against race, religion, sexual orientation, or even disability. But there is no epidemic of women's violence against simply for being men. That is the paranoid fantasy of the Men's Rights Activist.

Comedian Donald Glover explaining the difference between telling "crazy ex-girlfriend" and "crazy-exboyfriend" stories to friends.

Even if we gathered all the data showing how men can be victims of violence with different motivating factors, women are always disproportionately more vulnerable and are therefore are in greater need of protection.  

Satire Is A Power Move

The Alien was female, but Ripley certainly had to mow down a lot of men standing in her way that tried to use the Queen as a bio-weapon.

If Jonathan Swift's initially anonymous pamphlet A Modest Proposal were shared on Twitter today without the historical distance, I have no doubt one of his many enemies would be arguing Swift is actually calling for us all to #EatIrishBabies. The hashtags #RoastAllBabies #YumYumYum must clearly violate Twitter's policy against hateful conduct. No one living today could argue in good conscience that Swift was actually advocating for frying up the chubby little cheeks of infants born into poverty in order to control the population of urban, and predominantly Irish, poor. So why would he argue that poor women could get themselves off the street by skinning their toddlers to make into gloves for fine and elegant ladies? Because the people Swift is ridiculing, the upper classes so concerned with these poor and lazy souls in the street, have had their humanity so far removed as to believe it. Only an idiot or a dishonest philanthropist could be so credulous of A Modest Proposal at face value.

This Isn't About Me

I watch friends and colleagues like Reza Aslan, Jillian C. York, Hend Amry, and Talib Kweli (just to name a few) get trolled all the time. I shout back at the trolls or offer public support to them when I can just so they know they're not alone. 

I am white, I am straight, I am married, and I can take nice photos because my chosen appearance is traditionally feminine.I have a lot of privilege which has protected me thus far from the sorts of abuse many of my out-group and female friends have received online. I have a body of published work out there that demonstrates my serious commitment to human rights and my ability to write compassionately about victims. I'm not terribly worried about any professional losses, simply the threat of chronic inconveniences. I'm not angry for my own sake. 

I'll get back on Twitter sooner or later and I'll be fine. We need to think about what tactics the trolls are learning to silence so many others with views similar to mine. Buzzfeed reporter, and white female, Katie Notopoulos was locked out for ten days after trolls reported her for joking "kill all white people". Granted I think my satire is a bit more sophisticated than Kate's, our tweets have the same function and we shouldn't be banning satirical speech based on a subjective judgement of its value. 

Women, of all types, are at the most risk of abuse online. Amnesty International has researched this subject pretty thoroughly and finds that women are disgusted by Twitter's response to harassment. Twitter knows it has a problem but seems unable or unwilling to fix it. Last year at The Root, Monique Judge looked at how race and gender correlated with harassment on Twitter. The list of studies and articles on the subject go on and on.   

Meninists will probably always exist, but there's no reason Twitter should take our attempts to laugh at them so seriously.  

Extra Fun: My Prezi for Year 10 and older students on Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal". Created for my job as a Tavistock Tutor. 

[asaspro-blog]

Survey Results & Recruitment Picks (Also Apology)

New Post: https://fortnite.asas.pro/survey-results-recruitment-picks-also-apology/

#fortnite #game #fun #esport #news

Survey Results & Recruitment Picks (Also Apology)

TL;DR: Sorry for the delay of results and recruitment, was a crazy week for me. The survey ended as expected, with many people having negative feelings towards SBMM. There will be future surveys.

If you don't care for a wall of text, please leave now! I felt this post was unavoidable to keep short. Sorry not sorry.

An Apology

Hello everyone! I would like to start off by saying sorry for the delay of results. The previous two weeks were extremely busy and consumed most of my time. I appreciate all of you that have been messaging me to remind me to get this stuff done.

Furthermore, I would like to apologize to all the people that applied to my previous recruitment post and have not heard back. Rest assured, I have made my picks. (Spoiler: You can see them further down)

Survey Results

You can view the original post here

Brief Summary

I am sure everyone had a general idea of what to expect from the survey, and this definitely did solidify what most people already believed. Most people really do not like the idea of any Skill Based Matchmaking (SBMM) implementation. Rest assured, Epic Games has heard your fears and I have been told they would never consider such a feature without first strongly considering the myriad of variables it takes to get it right.

Noteworthy Results

Even after reiterating it many times, many people still believe I work for Epic Games and that the survey was somehow Epic related. Regardless, I enjoyed reading how much you think Epic is ruining the game with their "bullshit updates and emotes".

One thing I noticed coming up in discussion a lot is the type of player the average Redditor represents. Most people were under the belief that the average Reddit user was not casual, but in fact there is an almost 50/50 split between players that consider themselves to be a casual and competitive player.

In terms of the actual implementation of SBMM, there was definitely a common theme. Of those that believed it could work, the most common (and basic) answer was for it to exist as a separate mode. I personally believe that if any sort of ranked mode were to be implemented, that is how it would be.

Surprisingly, 15% of you think that a SBMM implementation should not be a separate mode! This (rather high in my opinion) percentage may be due to misinterpreting what the question was asking, but otherwise would mean that the community is wrong in how much everyone hates the idea.

Overwatch, Counter Strike, and the token (ticket) system. Many respondents who felt like being more passionate tended towards a couple categories. Overwatch and CS:GO were common games cited as doing matchmaking well. A token/ticket system was also a common suggestion that seems to have a lot of favor among the subreddit.

Another thing to note, you guys play a lot of Fortnite. Of the 15,028 people that answered, I'd estimate you all play in the high tens of thousands of hours a week. (Many of you answered 15+ hours, if all of you just played one that would still be 15k hours a week!).

I'll leave the interpretation of everything else up to you guys. But as an added bonus, I've generated

Raw Data

As promised, everyone now has full access to the survey data. You can view the spreadsheet here. If you find anything interesting feel free to make note of it in the comments below (I tried to go through all 15,028 responses but it is quite a daunting task).

You can view some more fancy stats here.

Future Surveys

I think we'll definitely be doing future surveys on what we consider to be topics of the week, as well as monthly "check ups" on where people believe the game is at. As a result, if you think there are any pressing questions that deserve data, shoot me a message.

Future surveys will be more planned out and last a week (until the next survey is posted). Upon closing, all data and a summary will be released.

Recruitment Picks

Programmer(s)

Please welcome your new code slaves /u/DaJuukes and /u/bcb67. They will be assisting my takeover of the world. We will begin by making a bot that doesn't break, doesn't have ugly code, and does my taxes. Perhaps also a Discord bot for everyone as well (mainly going be for us mods though).

Here's a little something about each of them:

/u/DaJuukes Hi! I'm a Node.js specialist and work in Discord and Reddit bots, along with Ethereum stuff. You can find more info about me here: http://dajuukes.codes

/u/bcb67 Hey Reddit squad! Just wanted to introduce myself, I'm /u/bcb67 and I'm going to be joining the /r/fortnitebr team to hopefully write some cool moderation tools / bots. I'm 21 years old and am a Senior at NC State University in Raleigh NC. I actually work as a part time Information Security Analyst @ Epic.

CSS/Designer(s)

Please welcome your new fashion designers /u/scorpionmechanic , /u/Ullaakut, and /u/Mastergoat. Two of which I've seen some brief initiative taken to help out, but I look forward to new ideas and new eyesores for everyone to look at! Being serious, I hope to tackle some long wanted features such as night mode, a proper filter, and a fancy sidebar.

Here's a little something about each of them:

/u/Ullaakut I'm a French software engineer working in Luxembourg (just fresh fired one week ago, my whole project team along with a few others have been trashed). I'm 99% backend but I still have some old skills in design and frontend so it should be fine for the job here. I'm 23, I like making video games on the Unreal Engine, playing tennis, and working on open source projects!

/u/Mastergoat Hey I'm MasterGoat (damn I wish I made a new account before this!) I'm a 20 year old FortNiteBR Addict from Darwin, Australia. My days consist of working for the government for 8 hours then another 8 hours of trying to get those Victory Royales! I've been creating my own video games and websites for a few years now and am happy I can finally apply that experience properly to a community that has been a big part of my life the past 6 months. Look forward to help make this site snazzy and pretty for you all!

/u/ScorpionMechanic Ok, my name is u/ScorpionMechanic, I just joined the FortniteBR Mod Team as a CSS Designer. IDK if my age will be a problem, but, I recently turned eighteen. I've been doing Graphic Design for almost ten years, mostly doing personal works or commissions from friends of my parents. I'm the designer of the FortniteBR subreddit. Both the Valentines and the Normal version. Also, help me to git gud. I haven' won in weeks.

[lexietravel]

The World of Harry Potter

About the Book Series

Harry Potter, as we all know is a series of fantasy novels written by the famous J.K. Rowling. The story revolves around the life of  wizards and half-blooded ones and the non wizards (muggles) as well.

The main character of the story is Harry Potter the child who lived, singled out by Lord Voldemort and became his greatest rival.  Hermoine Granger, and Ron Weasley are his closest friends at Hogwarts School.

It has been the best-selling book series in the history, translated into 73 languages, the Harry Potter brand itself is estimated to worth as much as 25 billion dollars.

Has received more than 10 awards from different categories including Platinum Book Awards and many more.

About the Movie Series

The series sequence in order are:

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001),

Chamber of Secrets (2002),

Prisoner of Azkaban (2004),

Goblet of Fire (2005),

Order of the Phoenix (2007),

Half-Blood Prince (2009) and

Deathly Hallows (2010/2011.)

The movie series has already finished for now but Rowling is still unstoppable of creating new stories to continue the series which she have released the “Harry Potter and the Curse Child” (which I have read already) which is now in stage production.

The World Tour

Harry Potter world tour has been very popular after the film series ended, It was first released in London then later through out the world.

The Exhibition includes Harry Potter film sets,  amazing craftsmanship behind authentic costumes, props and creatures from the films. More than 3.5 million visitors from different stops of the tour in:

Boston,

Toronto,

Seattle,

New York,

Sydney,

Singapore,

Tokyo,

Paris and

Shanghai

Finally in the  3rd Annual Celebration of Harry Potter, they announced that the 15th stop will be in Brussels.

Being a Harry Potter Fan

I would say I am a fan of Harry Potter, I have watched all the film series over and over until my husband says stop (hahaha). honestly I haven’t read any of the book from the first one until the Deathly Hallow but the last one I did finally.

Back when I was in highschool in my hometown I cannot afford to buy books, it was difficult to be a shadow fan of Harry and his adventures. Graciously supporting his stand against Voldemort, I didn’t forget any information even the plot of the story of the movie.

Buying souvenirs and collectible items wasn’t my forte, my mom rented DVD’s back then. in my teenager days Hermoine was my role model, being incredibly stiff and brilliant I wanted to be like her.

As I grow old (well not that old) I watched the film series, I could say 20 times already all of it in french and in english. my favorite characters are Harry, Hermoine, Ron, Dumbledore, Snape, Dobby, Luna, Ginny and Neville. Favorite Hogwarts houses are Gryffindor and Hufflepuff.

To tell you honestly I wanna keep this photos for my eyes only but I grasp about other fans, who would want to see this in real too. I feel so lucky and that It’s like my obligation to share these to others.

At the Venue

It was the second day of the exhibition in our city and it’s my time to discover the world of Harry Potter. I was so excited to see the behind the scenes props and costumes used and hopefully to perceive more information.

Queuing up for our turn to go inside the exhibition hall, we waited for about 15 minutes and at last the door is open for the magical place of Wizards.

The Sorting Hat

     We entered and the presentator welcomed us. The first thing happened was they were calling some volunteers for the sorting hat to do his job.

I was kinda hesitant at first so I didn’t take part, I just took some photos instead (as usual).

         The tour begins, first to welcomed us is the Hogwarts Express train, sites where the old restaurant from the first second film with the poster “Wanted Wizard” and the singing ghost from the painting inside the Hogwarts house.

Ginny Weasly’s Uniform

Did you know that Ginny’s dad Arthur Weasley supposed to die? Rowling thought of killing Arthur Weasley after he’s attacked by Nagini in Order of the Phoenix.

Collections including Opal Necklace

“This opulent necklace carries a powerful curse that has killed nineteen Muggles.”

Neville, Luna and Hermoine Uniform

Did you know that Hermione’s Patronus is an otter. Ron Weasley’s Patronus is a Jack Russell Terrier, which is known for chasing otters?

Hermoine’s Wand

   Walking in the aisle was unreal, delightful and feeling overjoyed at the same time. It was the moment of a lifetime to see these collections in a closer look, I mean not just in T.V. but in life.

The clothes of the characters were extreme, there were pieces that I couldn’t recognize directly but as I’ve read the description I started to realize its valor.

Marauders Map

Harry Potter’s Room

Did you know that Daniel Radcliffe went through 160 pairs of Harry Potter’s round-framed glasses during the course of the films?

The Golden Egg

   Remember the Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire from the triwizard tournament, the first clue from the first task of dragon hunt. Harry took the advice of Cedric and “took a bath” with the egg.

Ronald Weasly’s Room

Did you know that Rupert Grint dressed up like his female drama teacher and rapped about Ron Weasley for his audition tape? his rap is actually hilarious.

“Hello, my name is Rupert Grint, I hope you don’t think I stink.”

-Rupert Grint

Professor Sybill Patricia Trelawney

   Did you know that she was the one who made the prophecy about Voldemort and the one with the power to vanquish him (Voldemort took this to mean Harry Potter) during her job interview with Albus Dumbledore.

Professor Severus Snape

   Highly known for his role as the professor of Potions, after his death Harry honoured him as a hero despite of their significant personal differences.

Harry named his second son Albus Severus Potter in honour of Snape and Dumbledore.

Dolores Umbridge

   Did you know that she is the one I hated the most? why? because She’s a great Villain. Her strict attitude towards students of Hogwarts especially when he let Harry wrote “I must not tell lies” on his hand.

Baby Mandrakes

Did you know that not all effects from the film were computer generated? baby mandrakes are one of them.

   Remember this creature from the right? the ones from Professor Gilderoy Lockhart class. On the other hand is the creepy clown statue from Professor Alastor “Mad-Eye” Moody.

Harry was supposed to imagine things that he most feared and use the spell “ridiculous” to turn it to something hilarious. But in the end the clown statue turn into a Dementor.

Dementors, the deadly phantoms that guard Azkaban Prison, creepy creatures that feed on human emotion.

Quidditch Collection

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Quidditch is the most popular game among wizards and witches, it is played on broomstick. The object of the game is to score more points than your opponents, and when the Snitch is catch the game ends.

Did you know that Rowling created Quidditch after a fight with her boyfriend?

Prisoner of the Azkaban

     One of my favorite scene in the Prisoner of Azkaban when Hermoine and Harry used the  Time-turner to save Hagrid’s Buckbeak and Serius Black.

Time-turner will play a huge role in the latest book of “Harry Potter and the Curse Child”.

This makes me realize too that in life everything has a purpose. Buckbeak died but in the end they saved him and I was very pleased, and the scene with Harry and his God father was emotional.

Hagrid’s Place

Professor Rubeus Hagrid was half giant wizard, he is actually the cutest and the funniest character for me. He always slips some information that he should tell but Harry always gets it.

Did you know that there’s a fruit bat stuck in his famous shaggy beard? come from his mini fans.

The Winged Key

   Its first appearance was in the philosopher’s stone, where Harry must catch this old key to open the locked door.

Littel Harry with Professor Quirinus Quirrell

Who wouldn’t forget the epic fight between Voldemort who took Quirinus body to murder the little Harry?

Professor did search Voldemort to insure the people won’t laughed over him again and to attain recognition of learning for finding him. when he found him Voldemort took his body and use it to have an access to Hogwarts.

The Horcruxes

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Tom Riddle created his first Horcrux at the age of sixteen after murdering his father. There were in total of seven Hocruxes that he successfully made.

Tom Riddle’s Diary destroyed by Harry with a Basilisk

Marvolo Gaunt’s Ring, Cut with Godric Gryffindor’s Sword by Dumbledore

Salazar Slytherin’s Locket, Stabbed with Godric Gryffindor’s Sword by Ron

Helga Hufflepuff’s Cup, Hermoine stabbed it with a Basilisk fang

Rowena Ravenclaw’s Diadem, destroyed by Vincent Crabbe with Fiendfyre

Nagini, Nevil Beheaded it with Godric Gryffindor’s Sword

Harry Potter, Voldrmort used a killing curse.

The Triwizard Tournament and the Yulle Ball

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Who wouldn’t forget the teenager stage of the trio where Ron begins to have crush on Hermoine, but he is also charmed by Fleur Delacour.

Hermoine with Victor Krum paired at the ball, and Harry having a crush on Cho Chang, Cedric’s partner at the ball.

One of the favourite scenes of mine is where Ron was jealously looking at Hermoine and Krum. The other one is the sad death of Cedric.

Unexpectedly when I enter this room, first thing caught my eyes was the gown of Hermoine. Strangely it was just a simple gown nothing really special but when I saw my photos now I can say there’s magic in there.

Did you know the Rowling acknowledge that Harry/Hermoine pair would have been better than Ron/Hermoine?

Fred and Goerge Weasley’s World

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The identical twin wizard co-founded and run the joke shop Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes

They are very known for they hilarious pranks and jokes, one of the best one was when they launched some fireworks during exams and let it chased Dolores.

The Tale of the Three Brothers

   The three rare objects that were very helpful to Harry, played an essential part to out power Voldemort.

The Elder Wand, The Resurrection Stone and the Invisible Cloak.

Dumbledore, Dobby and the mythical sacred bird

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In the last part of the tour is Dumbledore’s costume with the cute Dobby on his side. Dobby was a house elf who served the Malfoy Family and later freed by Harry though placing his own sock in Tom Riddles Diary.

The story of Dobby’s life inspired me a lot, when he became a free elf I was so happy for him. however when he rescued Harry and his friends from the Shell Cottage, during their escape using his magic to apparate Bealtrix threw her silver knife and killed Dobby.

This was the scene that I cried the most, watching Dobby died.

Dumbledore in the other hand played a major role in the movie series, which I was disgusted when he died. At least he saved Harry for drinking the venomous water to get a horcrux.

Rowling said from an interview that the question she was scared the most is “What was Dumbledore’s wand made of?”. she thought of answering that, it’s made of the death tree.

The mythical sacred bird who ignites into flames when it reaches 500 or 1,000 years old only to emerge from the flames as a new and young phoenix was Rowling favourite beast of the series.

My Verdict

After the tour, It makes me recollect all the memories from my childhood up to the present, constantly following the story. I love the over all presentation, it was wizardly magical.

I’ll give it a 10/10 as Harry Potter fan It was a blast. I won’t ever forget the experience it will be with me forever.

I hope you did enjoy reading this post too, follow my next post coming out soon.

Sources of some information : Pottermore and Wikia

Harry Potter: The Exhibition

Palais 2, Brussels Expo

Opens June 30th for a limited run until 2017

    Booking.com (function(d, sc, u) { var s = d.createElement(sc), p = d.getElementsByTagName(sc)[0]; s.type = 'text/javascript'; s.async = true; s.src = u + '?v=' + (+new Date()); p.parentNode.insertBefore(s,p); })(document, 'script', '//aff.bstatic.com/static/affiliate_base/js/flexiproduct.js');

Exclusive Harry Potter Exhibition in Brussels The World of Harry Potter About the Book Series Harry Potter, as we all know is a series of fantasy novels written by the famous J.K.

[adricno]

oh heeeeeeeeeeellloooo everybody 😈 it’s your resident little shit, bc everyone is always yelling at me for something. idky bc i don’t do anything. SDJFKHDSJKFHDS  hennyways, it me adding another ball of a mess to this rp, next to ky, ouuufffff, but thank you to @dcniros​ and @alanncs​ for letting me bring a deniro. I’m very excited. so keep reading, like this, or hmu on discord or something! <3 

new york’s very own Adriano Deniro was spotted on broadway street in Gucci Ace GG high-top sneakers. your resemblance to Lorenzo zurzolo is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty first birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being manipulative , but also versatile. i guess being a virgo explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be speed driving along empty streets, cigarettes at 3am and drinking limoncello by the beach  . ( cis-male & he/him  ) 

Basic Information

Full Name: adriano marco deniro

Nickname(s): baby deniro, addy, adri, adrian

Age: 22

Height: 6′2 ft

Date of Birth:  september 13th 1997

Zodiac sign: virgo

Hogwarts house: slytherin

Ethnicity: italian

Nationality: italian-americian

Gender: cis male

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation: heterosexual

Religion: agnostic-catholic

Language(s) Spoken: italian + portuguese + french + german + english + spanish

Accent: has an italian accent that blends well with english

Favourites

Weather: summer

Colour: red

Music: ultimo, logic, travis scott

Movies: fast and furious franchise

Sport: what is that? LOLOL

Beverage: negroni, limoncello, rum

Food: florentine steak and potatoes

Animal: lions, eagles, bears.

Family

Father: arnaldo deniro

Mother: vittoria deniro

Sibling(s): an older brother, and 2 sisters in between. adriano’s the youngest !

Cousins: alanna deniro + atlas deniro + ? deniro

BIOGRAPHY 

adriano was born in Florence, Italy, the youngest child of four from arnaldo and vittoria deniro. the last name itself gives away what his family is all about. they’re prestigious, boujee, and automatically adriano was given a rep before he could even breathe. 

arnaldo is oldest of the second generation after arnaldo sr and corina, therefore he was actually offered the family company but instead decided to venture off into doing his own thing, wanting to make another stamp for the deniro family. he invested in buying out Ferrari instead. buying out ferrari was a smart move for arnaldo because he got a dip into buying out other italian sports car companies - currently in works of buying out alfa romeo and maserati. 

even if adriano was born in italy, he has dual citizenship with america due to his family being in both countries and he often visited New York City growing up.

needless to say, adriano grew up around cars. ever since he was little he loved them, the way they looked. when he was 8, he drove a 1957 Ferrari 250 GT California and crashed it into a tree. no one will ever let him live that down bc he’s an idiot for it, but he rlly wanted to, and it wasn’t a hard crash anyway.

adriano’s always lived on the edge of life, you tell him to do something, and he’ll do it. he’s a very independent kid, he likes being on his own, doing things his own way. he thinks his way is better than everyone else’s. this kid is super self critical and strives to be the best, especially since his family has such a prestigious rep, it makes sense, and he just wants to earn up to the name, even though he doesn’t say it, or portray it. it’s just something within him he always feels he needs to do. he’s young and stupid though, right now he’s really into partying, drugs, and doing reckless things. he doesn’t listen to anyone but himself. 

growing up in italy, he got away with literally everything, and a lot of that was street racing. it gives him such a rush to pull apart beautiful cars and adding parts to them to make them better, faster, stronger. he loves to hear the strong sound of the muffler. he’s one of those idiots on the streets, and not surprisingly he’s VERY good at racing. when he’s behind the wheel it’s like everything shifts and his brain goes into some analytical mode. there is a system to racing that adriano can’t explain into words, he just knows it. he’s good, but it doesn’t mean he hasn’t been caught, because he has, a lot of times. 

adriano has been arrested for street racing, being plagued on multiple tabloids often that his dad is overly frustrated with his youngest son being the troubled kid. it’s not like he had a hard childhood - besides having to live up to the deniro name and being told he had to make a name for himself. it’s just that, even if he wants to amount to something, he’s also sick of it and wants to rebel, so he turned to streetracing, and he doesn’t care about consequences. 

one thing for sure though, is that adriano is a VERY skilled artist. in order to get his mind off of cars, his mom hired a personal teacher that would teach him everything about art, whether it was sketching, sculpture - anything of the sort. he’s really good at it, and the only place besides racing where he can let out his frustrations. leonardo da vinci is his icon, which is weird, but that’s him. he’ll often fall asleep on top of sketchbooks filled with charcoal drawings and have little sculptures around that he’s built. he’s just never opened up about his art with anyone, though people know he’s good and always encourage him to do more with it. if he wanted to be a creative director, he would be really good at it that he often gets asked opinions on things for fashion shows, events, and everything. but again, not something he thinks he wants to pursue. 

because he’s gotten into so much trouble, his parents have sent him off from Florence to Rome thinking it would help sort him out, it didn’t, so his dad is ultimately sending him off to New York City, thinking maybe a new change of country will be even better for him, but adriano isn’t so sure. nothing he can do about it though. 

SO, Adriano is pretty new to new york, arriving on Christmas Day 2019 to fuck shit up leggo

SKILLS + PERSONALITY + CAREER

besides racing, cars, and art; adriano is versed in a large set of languages and skills. he was always learning due to his parents not wanting him to left out in anything. 

he’s pretty laid back, but highkey very judgemental, sometimes he doesn’t know when to shut up. he’s those kids that you know mean well but you just want to punch because they’re so annoying. 

he hates being called a baby even though it’s what he is. he’s a perfectionist, very much a clean freak, but he’s very reliable.

even if he hates being a deniro sometimes, he loves his family, highkey looks up to those older than him - but again, will never say it bc he’s a little shit. 

Right now, he’s just moved to new york, but he’s been working with fashion brands, thinking up new ways to present their lines during the upcoming fashion weeks. (that fenty fashion show? adriano’s creative directing work right tHERE) 

it’s ineveitable that he’s attractive, so sometimes when he feels like it, he’ll model for brands and magazines, but that’s pretty much it.

adriano’s not rlly one for relationships unless you want to get hurt. he will always tell you he’s a piece of shit and you’re about to get into a mess. if you’re okay with it so is he. 

he doesn’t really have feelings for other people, often gets into trouble bc of it too.

he just arrived to new york, so he’s not rlly looking for work right away.

HMU FOR PLOTS COS YOU KNOW I GOT PLENTY~