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alleiwentcrazy · 1 year

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Eddie hates it when people don’t answer his calls. He hates it with passion.

It reminds him of too many things. It reminds him of manhunts and abandoned sheds, and no one on the other side of the line. It reminds him of cold, clammy hands, of hunger, of fear. Breaking bones and eldritch horrors he’d thought existed solely in cheap movies, not in real life, until he was brutally made aware of the fact that when people say everything’s possible, everything is possible.

Every time someone doesn’t answer the phone when he calls, panic starts to boil inside his veins and his brain immediately makes at least a dozen painful scenarios for him to dwell on. He knows that technically, they just don’t know that it’s him. But it doesn’t make him worry any less, so everyone’s learned to respect the rule. They just have to pick up. No matter what. Or he’ll freak out, drop everything he’s doing and come unexpectedly to check if everything’s alright.

There hasn’t been a single situation when things were actually bad—people go get groceries, take solid, deep naps, or they’re simply too lazy to pick up sometimes—but he always does that. Always.

Especially if it’s Steve who doesn’t answer. What if he fell? Or someone mugged him? Or he got into a fight? This brain can’t take any more damage. What if he’s in the hospital now, waiting to be anesthetized before surgery, and no one’s called Eddie yet, because to society they’re just some dudes living together?

There are too many options. Eddie doesn’t like taking chances anymore, so he slaps the “I’ll be back in a few” sign on the door, closes the shop and speeds through the town like he has nothing to lose. (And it’s quite stupid, because he has too many things to lose now—but he’s allowed to freak out once in a while.)

When he gets there and sees Steve pacing and gesturing animatedly in front of the window of their tiny but awfully cluttered kitchen, he finds out exactly what it means to have the whole world on your shoulders. Or, rather, to be finally freed from the pressure it creates.

It’s okay. It’s just a stupid phone call. It wasn’t even important, anyway.

Despite that, he takes his helmet off. Won’t hurt to remind Steve of the rule. And maybe kiss his pretty face a little while he’s here.

He doesn’t even have to enter their apartment to know that Steve’s not alone. First off – if Steve’s pacing and rambling, an anxious trait he’s picked up from Robin, wasn’t a hint enough – it’s loud. Their paper walls can barely hold back a normal conversation, let alone something resemblant of a heated discussion. Honestly, Eddie has no idea how their neighbors can stand them sometimes, with his metal, their late-night conversations and non-conversations alike, with the kids visiting so often. Although Steve is optimistic (they have some lovely neighbors, like sweet Gran Fran, but don’t ever let Eddie express his opinions about that old hag from across the hallway, Miss Hermans), he’s still waiting for that complaint to be filed.

Second, he smells coffee. Steve never makes coffee for just himself.

Eddie opens the door gingerly, remembering how easy it is to completely unhinge them by accident, and is about to scream something about getting home, when none other than Dustin Henderson cuts him off with a shriek.

“—because it’s actually pathetic, that’s why! Get a grip, man, just do it!”

“Oh, it’s so easy for you to say, because you’ve never actually tried—”

“And maybe I never will! If you won’t do it, how can I learn how to do it myself? You know that you guys are the closest thing to father figures!”

“Hey, don’t make it about yourself for once, maybe? Some humility?”

Dustin’s quiet for a second, but Eddie knows he’s not about to admit full defeat. “Yes, sorry,” he chokes out, finally. “But you’ve tried so many times, you should know that it doesn’t get any easier on another try. Just do it, it doesn’t matter how.”

“It does, though! To me, it—it does. It matters,” Steve mumbles back, and Eddie can picture his face in perfect detail. It’s Steve’s small voice, which means he’s worried about something, even though his worry doesn’t make any sense in everyone else’s eyes. He’s unsure: his brows are pinched, lips pursed, stare skittering around the room, never focusing on anything. Dustin knows this face too, because his tone gets softer.

“Okay, then walk me through it.”

“What?”

“Walk me through it. You’ll know what you want, how you want it, when and where, and it’ll be easier when you try it next time.”

“Dustin, I really don’t—I’m not sure it can get easier, ever.”

“Because you’re scared.”

Steve sighs deeply before he responds. “Yes. Because I’m scared.”

“It’s been eight years, Steve. What are you scared of?” Dustin’s voice is gentle, curious. He’s not judging, he genuinely wants to know the reasons, and so does Eddie. He leans against the wall, trying to sneak a peek of the kitchen unsuccessfully, and listens. A while passes before Steve speaks again.

“I think—There are so many things I’m afraid of. But the main one… It’s still rejection. Not being enough. Because it’s not like it’s anything formal, right? It’s only a promise, and if it ends up turned down…”

Chair legs scrape the floor and Eddie can hear two soft slaps – hands on shoulders, probably.

“Steve Harrington. Calm down. You know it’s not going to happen—no, don’t argue. I know it, and this alone should be enough. You are an amazing person. You’re great with people, you’re bright, you’re sweet, caring, you have so many talents. I love you, Steve,” the pause that follows is filled with something so heavy there’s a shift in the air. It has a different smell now. A little salty, a little warm. “And he loves you. More than you can imagine, probably. So just pop the question, Steve. And don’t back out with some stupid excuse like this morning.”

“Pop the question,” Steve says, his voice firm, only a little timid. “Yes, I think—I think I can do that.”

Eddie bounces off the wall and takes quiet, slow steps backwards. He can’t hear anything else, even though the conversation continues. He bites his tongue hard enough to make it bleed a little. A coppery taste floods his mouth as he closes the door.

Oh, it’s just so, so stupid. He would have said yes. Each and every time, he would have said yes.

Later that day, when they’re lying in bed together, with the sheets rumpled, their bodies warm and mushy from the nap, with Eddie’s lips on Steve’s and Steve’s hands in Eddie’s hair, Eddie remembers the overheard conversation.

Well, no. That’s a lie. Because he hasn’t stopped thinking about it ever since.

Every single second of what, at first, seemed to be yet another annoying Monday, has been filled with reverie and anticipation. Dustin’s right – Eddie loves Steve. He loves him enough to risk hell for him, enough to argue with anyone who’s in any way mean to him. Enough to take his hand and say “You don’t have to be afraid when I’m with you”, even though Eddie’s the biggest coward in the whole wide world.

Eddie loves him. Loves his goofy smiles and scrunched happy faces, loves his moles and the uneven mustache he grows out sometimes when he’s bored. Eddie loves how gentle Steve is, how thoughtful and kind-hearted he is. How he helps Gran Fran replant her flowers each month with more enthusiasm than Eddie’s ever shown to anyone. How he talks to children, how much respect he has for those undermined by everyone else.

Eddie loves how he’s learned to stand up for himself. He’s proud of Steve, of how much he’s grown, of how he knows how to express what he needs and what he wants now. Eddie’s loved him for ages, maybe even longer than he’s aware of, but every single significant and insignificant change in Steve’s behavior and point of view makes him fall a little bit harder, every time. In any shape, in any form, there’s one constant in Eddie’s life: his love for Steve.

He likes to think that they do that to each other, both of them. That they help each other through inevitable changes, painful regressions and euphoric victories alike. He likes to think that together, they make one, healthy, living being – and apart they’re good, because they’ve grown to be good people thanks to the connections they’ve made overall. He likes this idea of just being good, together and apart. And he loves Steve for giving him the opportunity to be just that.

Eddie wants it to last. Desperately, intensely, madly. He wants it to last and he needs it to keep happening – he knows that, and he knows he has the capacity to do that. To be there, to stay. His hands touch Steve’s thigh, not in the slightest covered by those silly Hawkins Tigers shorts he’s kept, then they touch Steve’s soft, scarred belly, then they touch his chest, where his heart is beating steadily and peacefully, and he keeps kissing him and Steve keeps clingling back to him, and Eddie’s so sure.

He wants this. He wants to experience growing old together, he wants them to get all wrinkly and bald together, he wants the fights over who gets the most comfortable chair in their grandkids’ living room. He wants them to experience the highs and the lows of the family that they already have, and the one they’re going to build someday.

Eddie wants this. He wants Steve. The whole deal; the promised forever. And he doesn’t want to wait another second.

“Steve,” Eddie says, cutting the kiss short so suddenly Steve actually pulls him closer, chasing after the warmth of his lips. “I’m saying yes.”

“Mm. Okay,” he mumbles back, too kiss- and sleep-hazy to catch Eddie’s intention right away. He tries to bump their noses together—which is adorable, really, but Eddie can’t let him hijack and self-sabotage this proposal too.

“No, Steve,” he squeezes Steve’s side until he looks at him properly. “I love you. I’m saying yes.”

In awe, Eddie watches as Steve’s face goes through confusion, true bewilderment, a bit of fear and fleeting exhilaration, to finally settle on disbelief.

“How did you—”

Eddie laughs a little at that. “I called and you didn’t pick up.” Steve makes a little oh sound, already looking like a kicked puppy. “But it’s okay, doesn’t matter, not the point,” Eddie jumps in, anticipating an unnecessary apology. “The point is, I love you, and I’m saying yes.”

Steve stares at him for a long second, his eyes wide and earnest. His fingers slide from Eddie’s hair to finally settle on both of his cheeks, cradling them lovingly. Eddie kinda wants to cry.

“You’ll marry me?” Steve asks, incredulous, his voice only a bit louder than a whisper. The way he accentuates the word “marry” gives yet another layer of meaning to such a simple question. You’ll love me? Forever?

“I’ll marry you,” he replies without hesitation. “You’ll marry me?” You’ll love me? With my flaws?

“I’ll marry you,” Steve says back. Then he grins with his eyes glistening in the bedside light, and squishes Eddie’s cheeks so hard it squeezes the unshed tear right from his eye. “We’ll get married!”

Steve giggles happily, and Eddie laughs with him. There’s so much joy inside him—them, the whole room seems to get bigger. “We will,” he adds through a smile, already peppering his fiancé’s face with kisses.

“Oh gosh, I have to call Robin,” Steve manages through his giggles and Eddie loves him so much. “And Dustin!”

So, so much.

#steve harrignton #eddie munson #steddie #dustin henderson #stranger things #st4 fanfic #i've had SUCH a shit and busy month. i'm using them to heal myself lol #i wanted to make them so pathetically in love i accidentally made my eyes fall out of my skull bc of the cheesiness #proposal au #hehe #short and sweet #excuse me if i got too silly. my hand slipped

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amourdivine · 8 months

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𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 🤍 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒.𝐏. 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 & 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔?

Hello, lovelies! This was a suggested reading from a dear anonymous. It had a more romantic subtext, but I hope you take out what resonates & leave what doesn’t! If you have any more suggestions, so let me know! Feedback is always welcome. If you liked this reading, please consider booking a paid reading or tipping me at @ [email protected]! xo. ♡

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how to choose your pile. take deep breaths for a few minutes & look at each and every one of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later.

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disclaimer. this is a general reading for entertainment purposes. tarot is a divination tool & is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

PILE ONE 💜

what do they think about you? ten of swords • eight of pentacles • six of cups.

I just heard Coldplay’s “The Scientist”, specifically the bit in which he sings “take me back to the start”. I wonder if you two had a fight, some sort of falling out or heavy disagreement. They think they’ve lost you - this is weighing heavy on their mind. They wish they could go back to when things were simpler, when things weren’t so difficult and anxiety-inducing. I think they feel a lot of shame and blame as well (I heard “blame game”) and I’m not going to lie, pile one, this person may be overthinking this connection, especially the way they see it. It feels heavy, like my chest and my throat are holding so much energy but nothing comes out. They’re not thinking clearly, despite thinking so much, it’s really difficult for them to “think” a way out of this situation you’re in. However, they do wish to work towards a peaceful resolution with you. They want to find a way to make things feel lighthearted and happy for the two of you again. This person could also be listening to a lot of heavy/sad songs, because so many of them are coming through to me. They’re experiencing a lot of self-hatred and very difficult emotions are going through them. They’re mourning some kind of happy ending, but they’re still willing to salvage the relationship if that's something you also desire.

how do they feel towards you? the empress • ace of swords • page of pentacles.

Gosh, there’s so much love here. They not only miss you, but they want to talk to you… to ask you how to work this out. They just want it to work it out between you two, pile one. Even if it’s difficult, like I mentioned in the previous section, they only want you. They don’t see anyone else for them. They don’t want to let you go, to lose you. It’s why their mind is so foggy and so clouded with poor judgment, they feel a lot of despair over the thought of losing the love you two have and shared. If your connection ended, they’re still not over it - they’re refusing to move on, simply because in their heart, they’ve decided it’s you. And I don’t think they’ve fully voiced it out just how much they want you, but they intend to do so. No matter how painful this situation has become, they hold some sort of hope that you’ll want to work things out with them too. They love you in a pure, devoted way and know how unique, how beautiful this connection is.

channeled messages: “i hate myself for what i did to you”, “i can’t forget you”, “you’re beautiful”, runaway, empty roads, highways, road trips, memories, polaroid pictures, “i wish things were easier”, “you betrayed me”, burning bridges, “do you still love me?”, deja vu.

channeled song: ghostin’ by Ariana Grande.

PILE TWO 🩷

what do they think about you? the magician • the lovers • the world

I couldn’t name a more beautiful spread. They put you on a pedestal, sort of - this person sees all that you are and they’re amazed. They admire you, they love you and they can’t see anyone else but you. This person’s got heart eyes when they look at you, maybe their eyes sparkle - pay attention next time you speak to them in person. Although they may wonder if they’re good enough for you, this person truly, deeply is inspired by you. It’s possible this is a friend of yours who’s crushing on you and vice-versa, but neither one of you is willing to admit it yet. This is a dreamy vibe, even, I feel like I’m immersed in Piscean energy. Maybe one of you is Neptune dominant or has Pisces in 1st. It’s the feeling of a high school crush, the intense, beautiful and almost soul-crushing one, but the kind of connection that has a lasting impact. Even if you haven’t known this person for a long time, they are eager to know more about you, all the little things that you do and say are stuck in the back of their mind. They don’t take it for granted. You’re extremely important to them, regardless of the nature of this relationship, you’re someone they want around.

how do they feel towards you? three of cups • five of wands • nine of swords.

They’re anxious, because they’ve got some heavy competition. Even if they see all these positive qualities in you, this person is afraid they’ll ruin the friendship by risking it. So many people are interested in you, that they’re afraid of rejection, afraid of all the people vying for your attention and sometimes, they just wish they could get rid of these feelings already. It’s possible there’s a 3rd party situation going on - either you or them could be in a committed relationship and there’s a lot of guilt and anxiety involved. You’re this person’s wish come true, but they don’t know what to do. They’re stuck in their head about it, fantasizing about coming towards you, talking to you and not feeling so insecure or jealous when they see you with someone else. I got the vivid imagery of someone seeing their crush talking to someone else at a party and being almost soul crushed by the fact that they’re so afraid of approaching the other. It’s giving me fanfiction vibes (in the best way possible, I promise). I’m almost sorry for this person because they’re so blindsided by their pessimism that they can’t fully see a way into being with you, no matter how much they want to. They know they need to make a move before they lose you for good, though.

channeled messages: “i’m so sick of love songs”, “i just want to talk to you”, instagram, DM’s, subtle flirting, “are you alone tonight?”, crush, “i feel invisible”, insecurity, jealousy, bonfire party, college life, “give me back my jacket”, inside jokes.

channeled song: Are You Bored Yet? by Wallows ft. Clairo.

PILE THREE 💖

what do they think about you? eight of cups • six of cups • the devil.

“Gone for good”, I just heard that. My playlist started playing sad breakup songs too, it’s honestly a little heartbreaking and quite bittersweet. This person thinks, well, they know you’ve left them behind and you seem done with them. You left them and they’re triggered. They’ve got so much going on in their head, always filled with “what ifs”. Your connection has turned sour and they think you wanted to pursue something better for yourself, something that didn’t trigger the both of you so much. I feel like this connection may have turned toxic, so they know you needed to leave, but nonetheless, they’re grieving, they’re sour and bitter. I don’t know if this person was heavily immature towards you or even disrespectful, but you left them on a chokehold because they didn’t expect you to simply walk away so easily. I don’t think it’s been easy for either one of you. I’m more so feeling a situationship or a friendship kind of vibe here, not a full, official commitment. Everything they see in you is almost a projection of their worst fears. All your worst traits mirror back to them, calling them to do some soul deep healing. I saw the Death card in the back of my mind, so I think this person knows it’s time to move on, to let you go, but they’re still obsessing over this ending you’ve had and it’s possible they lurk on your social media. It’s not an evil or malicious energy, but they’re not in a good headspace to talk or see you right now.

how do they feel towards you? two of swords • knight of cups • ten of wands.

Sometimes they love you, they miss you. Sometimes they just hate everything that came to be about the two of you. They’re tired, overburdened by their feelings, so sick of feeling so much and nothing at the same time. This person can’t really pinpoint exactly what they feel for you, but I got nauseous and almost sick to my stomach? I think they just wish they could erase this pain forever, but sometimes, they wish they could get some closure from you as well. It’s possible they wish they could give you some closure as well. All these messy feelings are taking their time in this person’s heart and body, but I think this connection, as triggering as it may have been, has brought up a lot of things back into the surface. Regardless of how they feel about you, it all ties back to their wounds, their feelings and themselves. I got some heavy Scorpio feelings in the last section and now I’m getting some Libra - I feel like those were significant energies and placements for your pile. This person’s not only heartbroken but almost… burnt out by everything that went down. They’re slowly trying to heal, to let go and forgive, but they’re not having the easiest time. I don’t think they’re “evil eyeing” you in any way, but I also think some distance will do the both of you some good. I feel like Spirit wants to emphasize how good this ending will be for you.

channeled messages: “you deserve better”, “i want to go back to who i was, mental health, physical health, “get over it”, 777, friends with benefits, messing around, fuck around and find out, taylor swift, moved on, finally, second chances, “i was a second option”, simply unrequited.

channeled song: Berenstein by The Band CAMINO | extra: Favourite Song by Tim Chadwick.

PILE FOUR 🩵

what do they think about you? the magician • ace of cups • six of swords.

You’re so nurturing, healing and magical. This person sees you as some sort of fairy, a beautiful, wholesome person who’s got so much love to give and to receive. Even the song that started playing is one of my favorites, a very healing and soft one. They see you as a safe person, an Earth angel, someone who’s almost like their lucky charm. The vibes here aren’t only romantic - they fit for friendships and familial relationships too. They’ve got a lot of fond memories and stories of you. I see someone going through a photo album and laughing to themselves in joy. This person sees a lot of good things in you and you’ve given them some sort of renewed faith in connections and humanity. They know you’ve been through a lot - they see you’re still healing. Every now and then, they catch glimpses of moments when you’re not feeling so good, but they still see your potential and growth nonetheless. I think your words and presence calm this person down. They value your advice immensely, all your words of wisdom and encouragement. I feel like Gemini and Leo are significant placements for this pile - I got the Strength card in the back of my mind, with the woman caressing the lion in the card. You bring calm and softness to this person’s life.

how do they feel towards you? queen of pentacles • ace of pentacles • two of wands.

I heard “wife you up”, lol. If this is a romantic connection, this person wants to offer you a deeper form of commitment - in whatever way that means for your connection. I feel like this person is smitten by you, even if you’re friends, you’re their closest, most prized friend. They’re making plans for something bigger, something greater between the two of you. This person views you as someone they could have ultimate success in every way, someone trustworthy and someone they intend on making accommodations for to fit in their life. It’s so soft and sweet, I see a woman arranging and rearranging pillows in a soft-looking bedroom to make sure her guests will be comfortable during their stay. I think they’re making room for you in their heart and mind, even their home as well. Maybe they haven’t told you, but they’re giddy to have met you and to spend more time with you. If this person proposes to you soon, please don’t tell them I told you! I’m not trying to ruin their plans, but let me say your connection has some really sweet, lovely surprises along the way. If you get engaged though, let me know, pile four. I’m really happy for you!

channeled messages: “fight for you”, “let me love you”, acts of service, bouquets, rainy days, “put your head on my shoulder”, “it’s okay to cry”, “i want to be there for you”, “you don’t have to pretend with me”, cupping someone’s face in your hands, comfort food, hugs, ice cream, care bears, pisces, cancer, healing, therapy, inner child.

channeled song: Room Service by Holly Humberstone | extra: Break For You by Valley.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

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lecl3rcw · 11 months

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MOMENTS WITH YOU | CARLOS SAINZ

Summary: 3 of Carlos and Y/N’s cutest moments

Author’s note: Thank you so much to everyone who’s requested a fic, your requests are all works in progress💗

Warnings: badly translated Spanish, and tooth rotting fluff.

Sing recommendations: All of the girls you’ve loved before & Lover - Taylor Swift

____________________________________________

Moment # 1

Y/N was sat in her boyfriend’s drivers room listening to his rants and frustrations of how Ferrari, yet again screwed him up.

“It’s just so annoying! I ask them to do something and they just don’t listen? And now they’re purposely screwing me over” He says pacing back and forth, These past few races have been nerve wrecking for him with Ferrari considering to replace him at the end of his contract fueled him even more to try to prove himself to them but he can’t, if they don’t give him a chance.

The girl stood up, locking her arms around his waist as her head rested on his shoulder, he reciprocated the hug as he exhaled “I hate to see you so upset” she murmurs, her hand gently caressing his back, he closes his eyes in content, greatful for her touch.

“I’m just so done, I’m constantly trying to prove myself to people that obviously are sabotaging me, I just don’t understand why they treat me so bad, have I not given enough?” He says, frustration leaving, sadness engulfing his voice. Y/N squeezes him even tighter.

“You’re more than enough cariño, you’re just as amazing as anyone and if they can’t see that then they’re idiots, your overridden decisions are the only reason why you guys placed so good” she says leaning up to place a sweet kiss on his cheek.

“Thankyou mi cielo” He says leaning down to place a kiss on her lips, as his arms travel down to her waist grasping it.

Moment # 2

The soft patters of the rain along with the occasional boom of thunder were the only things that could be heard through out the city of Madrid. The couple was snuggled in bed, both too lazy to be productive.

Carlos admired the girl who’s head was burried into his neck, his arm under her neck serving as a pillow, his hand goes up to gently caress the back of her head.

“We should probably go make something to eat amour” He whispered as he heard her groan and push her head impossibly deeper into his neck. He chuckles, “cmon Y/N, we gotta get up” he says gently, She huffs before turning around and pulling the duvet over her head.

“Y/Nnnnnn come on” he says pulling the cover off her head, “Ugh fine” she says before sitting up. He opened up his arms and she immediately fell into them. Her hand tracing hearts on his collarbone as her head found its place under his chin. The rainy weather brought out a different type of lazy out of them.

“I thought you said we need to get up” she says still tracing on his collarbone, “We probably should but I have nowhere I’d rather be” he replies pressing his lips against her head and squeezing her tighter, she sighs in content as she leans up to kiss his jaw.

Moment #3

The girl came back from work exhausted, her boss doesn’t make her life any easier, and on top of that everything just seemed to be going bad today. She missed a deadline and absolutely got flamed by him and she wanted nothing more than too just be in Carlos’s arms.

As she entered her house, she wanted to hold herself together until she made it to the bedroom, but upon hearing Carlos’s voice call her out sweetly, tears immediately started going down her cheeks.

“Y/N? What’s wrong amour?” He says gently going up to her, she shook her head as she covered her face with her hands, a habit she developed when she didn’t want people to see her cry. “Oh come here” he cooed as he wraps his arms around her tightly. He held on to her for as long as she needed. She cried for so long, she didn’t even realize when he moved the two of them on the couch.

Once her breathing stilled and sobs were no longer wracking her body, Carlos once again asked her “What’s wrong Y/N?” His hand on the back of her head as she played with strings of his hoodie.

“I missed a deadline and he said if I make one more mistake, I’m done! I mean that’s so upsetting, I’ve done so much for this stupid company and this is how they treat me? I was up until 4 am fixing his dumb mistakes and this is how he repays me? Ugh he’s so annoying” she says no longer sad, but more frustrated.

“Baby, you have to separate work from your home life, your boss is not understanding, and if he fires you then he’s just making the dumbest decision ever” he says, “I love you Carlos” she says, he smiles and leans down to kiss her, the rest of the night, the couple was so wrapped up in each other that they fell asleep on the couch, at peace with their minds.

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #charles leclerc x reader #carlos sainz x reader #lando norris x reader #carlos sainz

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h0rnyauth0r · 10 months

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being stuck in a power outage with ghost, who you don’t get along with <3

i'm sorry to take months between content :( i hope everyone's doing well! i missed writing so much!

word count: 2.8k

warnings: reaader w/ vagina, use of good girl, cumming inside, unprotected sex, and other smut-typical moments

you can admit when you’re wrong to basically anybody, really. like right now, you know it’s a bad idea to sneak off during a briefing about the mission you’re going to be going on, but listening to ghost for any longer will have you ripping your hair out and screaming.

you hate that man with a passion, with the utmost sincerity of your being. he pushes you more than the others, he constantly ridicules your movements, and he always compares you to everyone else. just the other day you were ordered to run two extra miles for ‘misbehaving’ by talking with soap about holiday plans.

you’d say he has plans to get you to the point of dropping 141 and moving on, but you know that won’t happen. you’ve grown to love the team, even if he may ruin things. his targeting of you hasn’t reached a point where it’s putting you or others into danger, so as far as you’re concerned you’ll be staying.

it’s a rainy day today, clouds shifting across the sky slowly with a dark and gloomy grey making the world around you seem so sad. you love the rain. the distant thunder cracking down as it begins approaching the base. you’re not sure if the storm might interrupt the plans for later, seeing as it may impact flying out.

you shrug the thought off as you enter one of the side rooms, often used for private meetings and for you, reading. the doors here often use a pin code or a keycard to get into for security reasons, which makes things easier despite the dependence on technology.

you want to read a new book that gaz gifted you, saying that he highly recommended it to you after reading it himself. you never thought he’d be into romance novels, but here you are reading a book thats cover displays a withering rose and mentions a scandalous plotline between a ceo of a company and his newest intern.

you take a seat on one of the many chairs and finally open the cover, reading the first few notes and getting started on the first chapter. the writing is decent, and you find yourself enjoying this tacky plotline more than you anticipated.

time passes, and it’s probably been around ten minutes before you hear the sound of the door unlocking followed by heavy footsteps. you know you’ve just fucked yourself over when you hear a deep sigh. it’s ghost.

“figured you’d be here. why did you skip my briefing? it’s important information.” his voice is stern, angry.

you roll your eyes at his reaction and tone. “i can easily just get the info from price, he has the folders. besides, i already know what we’re doing and i’m already packed for leaving.”

the footsteps get closer and his arms reach around your front, snatching the book from your hands and slamming it shut. “if you had actually come to the meeting like any sensible person, you’d know our mission is postponed due to the storms.” he snaps, watching the way you angrily turn around and face him.

you glare at him, “just because it’s been canceled doesn’t mean you can interrupt my reading, lieutenant.”

now he’s rolling his eyes at you, arms crossing with your book still in his hand. “i don’t give a shit about your reading. you can’t disregard the rules here and think you’ll just get away with things because you’re close with price. at this point, i’m not letting you go on the mission. you can stay here since you like it so much.” his voice sounds like a father scolding his child, and you grow angry at the mention of not being allowed to go on the mission anymore.

“you know i can just talk to price and get this settled myself, simon. i will go where i want. now get out and leave me alone if you’re done treating me like a child.”

he slams the book down onto the table in the room and clenches his fists, turning to the door and getting a keycard out to unlock it.

that’s when the whooshing sound loudly interrupts any movements, lights going out and power ultimately failing. you almost immediately groan out, eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room. the only bit of light is from the crease of the door, and you can practically feel the anger radiating off of ghost.

“uh, the gen should kick on right?” your voice breaks the silence, feeling awkward about even speaking to the man right now.

“it would’ve already. must not have petrol left.” he says, and you can barely make out him taking a seat in one of the chairs in the room.

it’s nearly impossible to see, and the odds of this happening were so slim that you’re now regretting going into this room in the first place. you should’ve gone back to your bunk, but now you’re trapped here with the lieutenant and you don’t know when things will be back.

a loud pounding on the door startles you, and you hear soap’s voice scream at the door. “gaz is getting some petrol now! we were out of supply, the shipment was running late!” he screams, and you wince at how loud he’s being.

“thanks, soap! hopefully he’s back soon.” you say loudly, sinking onto the floor and sitting with your back against the door.

“should be a half hour.” ghost grumbles, and you nod at his words before flushing when you realize he can’t see you nod.

for a few minutes, neither of you say anything. you want to say something, maybe even apologize for your behavior. you know it was wrong of you to skip out on the briefing, and he’s never going to be nice to you if you continue acting out.

“hey, i’m sorry.” you say quietly.

“huh?”

“i’m sorry. for missing the briefing. it was a bad idea. i know it’s not a good look to skip out on those, so i just wanted to apologize. just because we don’t get along doesn’t mean i can fuck with our team’s organization.”

you hear him breathe in deeply, probably contemplating the words to say in the moment. you feel a little nervous with his silence, almost finding yourself feeling worried about him.

he speaks up though, “i understand why you did it. i’m hard on you, more than the others. it’s because you’re stronger and i know you can handle yourself.”

his words make you feel happy, and you actually find yourself smiling because of something he said for the first time ever. you never would’ve thought that this man sees your strength and resilience.

“thank you. can i ask you something?”

“shoot.”

“why do you punish me for talking with soap, or any others for that matter, but not them too?”

he doesn’t reply, and you don’t exactly expect him to. the quiet is mildly overwhelming and has you worried that the small step forward with the older man may have already regressed.

you hear him stand up, though, and take a seat beside you in front of the electric door. the proximity makes you anxious, but his voice is what makes it less intense.

“admittedly, i don’t like seeing others talk with you like that.” his words hold weight in your head, your neck cranking downwards to process. you’re stuck taking in what he said, contemplating what exactly it means.

jealousy? you want it to be true, in the most selfish way. maybe he sees others as a obstacle to you. but you’re certain it’s actually because they may be distracting you from your potential.

“do you think they’re distracting me or something? because they aren’t.”

he lets out a puff of air, which you could assume is the closest you’ll get to hearing his laugh. curiosity, and more importantly, embarrassment, have you growing flustered with that reaction.

“what?” you ask.

he sighs. “i know they’re not distracting you, love.”

your face grows hot, a state of deep embarrassment combining with confusion. his hand reaches out and touches your arm, and you look in his direction with anticipation at what he’s up to.

“i was jealous, since i wanted you to talk to me instead.”

you unintentionally gulp, swallowing harshly and nodding even though you’re in the dark with him. his hand slowly moves up your arm and ends up caressing your face, thumb rubbing over your cheek as you suck in a breath.

“w-why?” you ask.

“can’t you tell why? i thought you were observant.” his voice is closer, right in your ear and you find yourself shivering. a pool of desire is bubbling up in your abdomen, thighs instinctively rubbing together for any tension.

you never would’ve thought that ghost had any interest in you with the way he’s treated you, but you can very much tell now. his very touch is sending sparks through your body and you can’t help but hope he’s willing to fuck you into these cold floors right now.

“i-”

“shh.” he puts his hand over your mouth and your eyes roll back pathetically. if he can have such an impact on you with just words, you can only imagine how good he would be in other areas.

your teeth dig harshly into your bottom lip when his other hand begins reaching for your thigh, kneading into the skin as it moves up and closer to your clothed pussy. he begins massaging the skin there and you whimper desperately.

your panties grow more and more soaked with every passing second and you find yourself staring deeply into his eyes through the darkness. you can see the look in them and it speaks volumes. he knows that you’re completely turned on by him and he’s smug about that fact.

his hand digs into your face and it kind of hurts, but you’re more overcome with the feeling of his other hand pushing at your pants to care about anything else. “you want me?” he asks, voice gruff and lustful.

his hand moves from your face.

“yes.” you whisper breathlessly, willing to do anything at the moment for him.

“good.”

both of his hands tug at your pants, fiddling with the belt and eventually lifting your body up to take them off. your panties stay on, but he fingers at the fabric to rub at your folds.

“do me a favor, yeah? lean against the table for me.” he says, slapping down on your ass as you jump and do what he says. you lean against it like he said, purposefully sticking your ass out so he has more room to work with.

“good girl.” he whispers in your ear, hand pushing your panties aside as his index and middle fingers start circling your clit. you whimper out at the feeling, craving more but allowing him to help prep you for whatever might come.

his fingers are ruthless with their movements, circling and then diving into your wet hole. they curl over and over again before going back out to tease you more. and it isn’t long before you feel your panties soak and you’re practically panting from the amount of pleasure he’s given you.

you can feel yourself getting closer to cumming on his fingers, thrusting your hips back to feel more. “please, more.” you whimper out, and he actually chuckles at your begging.

“more of this?” he asks, pushing three fingers into your hole and curling them to hit that soft spongy spot inside. you cry out when he does that, thighs shaking and knees nearly giving out.

“yes!” you say, feeling like you’re about to teeter off of the edge and absolutely falling apart when his other hand starts to play with your clit again.

you don’t even know what words or sounds come out of your mouth with the force it hits you, his hands coaxing you through it with several chants of ‘good girl’ being whispered into your ear.

his fingers pull out once you’ve come down from your high, a wet sound making you particularly embarrassed with how soaked you are for him. you can hear him taking his belt off behind you and you’re more than eager to feel his dick in you now than you were before.

“you ready?” he asks, and you can hear him using your wetness to coat his cock before he’s lining it up against you and rubbing the tip against your folds.

“fuck, yes.” you mumble to him, eyes rolling back and nails digging into the table harshly as he pushes into you. the tip is so thick that it hurts at first, but once you’re used to it you think you might cum again just from the sensation of him filling your cunt.

“holy shit.” you moan out the words once he’s balls deep, the pressure against your insides feeling so fucking good. you lean down more into the table, and his hands grip your hips tightly as he prepares to move.

and when he does move, you’re breathless. you’ve never been with someone so big who actually knows what they’re doing, and the feeling alone sends you absolutely reeling and wanting this to never end.

“please, go harder.” you say softly, moaning when he listens to your words earnestly.

the table creaks loudly as his pace picks up more, hips hitting your ass hard as he fucks into you with more and more force. he decides to grab around the front of you and pull your back into him, an angle that has you moaning louder than you want to admit.

you can only hope that nobody hears you, but with the slapping sounds of his hips crashing into you and your noises it’s obvious that something is happening in this room right now.

“need to be quiet for me, can you do that?” he asks you, and you shake your head while whimpering out a ‘no’.

his hand grabs your face again, covering your lips and leaving your nose out so you can breathe. he decides to really start pushing it after this, thrusting harder and faster than you thought he could go.

you feel like you’re going to cum again soon. “‘m close.” you whimper against his hand, feeling his free hand reach down and start working your clit like it’s nothing.

you throw your head back when his hand is practically vibrating against you, cumming on his cock and moaning so loudly that the hand over your mouth clamps down harder to muffle your noises.

you can hear his breathing picking up too, small grunts and groans coming out as his own orgasm starts to approach. you’re still clenching on him from cumming so hard, and it sends him into a spiral.

the table you’re against starts moving from the force of his thrusts as he groans out and cums in you, fingers digging into your skin as his hips stutter and slow down.

you feel so very full- from his dick and his cum at the same time, the feeling of cum dripping out and down your thighs making you shiver a little bit. he pulls out of you and you collapse against the table, breathing heavily.

“thank you.” you whisper, catching your breath as you fix your panties, pull your pants up, and allow your panties to become drenched in both of your fluids.

“it’s nothing.” is all he says, fixing himself accordingly.

you can hear a whirring before the lights slowly turn on, flickering for a moment before powering on completely. you look at him as soon as the lights are on, seeing his usual balaclava covering his face.

he’s looking right back at you, and no words need to be spoken when you get a good look at him. you start walking towards him and right as your hands are getting ready to lift his balaclava up, the door whirs open and soap is standing there.

you know you’re very close to him and immediately feel hot, backing away and looking to soap. “oh, hey.”

he looks between the two of you, a small smirk forming on his face. “it’s about time!” he exclaims.

“soap, don’t.” ghost says, shaking his head and looking to you. his hand reaches out and grabs onto yours and you find yourself gaping at the sight.

he leads you out of that room and down the halls towards the living quarters, eyes never losing that glimmer of lust towards you as you get down to his room.

“you’re gonna have to stay quiet or soap will complain, the walls are thin over here.” is all he says before you enter the room together.

neither of you get much sleep that night, and both receive an earful from soap and a few others come morning.

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#call of duty smut #cod #female reader #x reader #call of duty #cod smut #smut #ghost smut #ghost x reader #ghost x reader smut #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost

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farfromstrange · 2 years

Text

Customer Service | Matt Murdock

Pairing: Matt Murdock x afab!reader

Summary: After a particularly rough week, all you want to do is cry. It has you on edge and makes you say things you don’t mean. After letting out your anger on your boyfriend, he makes it his mission to take care of you for a change.

Warnings: SMUT, 18+ MINORS DNI, oral (f receiving), Matt Murdock eats pussy like a champ, fingering, squirting (I feel filthy), emotional hurt/comfort, no use of y/n, no pronouns, reader has female body parts, 1st person pov (?)

a/n: As someone who quit their job in customer service for the exact same reasons I have stated in this fic, this is very personal to me and self-indulgent, again. I wrote this after a particularly bad day. Sometimes I wish Matt were real so he could actually do this to me.

There is nothing in all of existence that I loathe more than people. Why I chose to work in customer service in the first place has become more and more of a mystery to me. I could have quit after the first week, I should have, but whenever the thought crosses my mind, I tell myself: ‘It’s going to get better. You will get used to it.’ I did not, in fact, get used to it. Or, I did, I just started to hate myself even more. Every day I get home from an eight-hour shift, I’m tired, I’m exhausted and I feel the desperate need to throw myself off a cliff.

There are days when it’s easier. The elderly couple who comes in every Sunday, for example, to drink their coffee and have a lengthy conversation over a piece of cake, never fails to make me smile. They’re always kind, and forthcoming and they tip, even though I know they don’t have the money to.

Or the woman who likes to pick up lunch for her husband, she always calls me sweetheart, and she’s never bothered if her order takes just a little too long. The regulars chat me up and I like it because it makes me feel less alone behind the counter, as life passes me by and I can’t help to stare at the clock every five minutes to calculate how many hours of the day are left. They make it easier to forget about the overtime I inevitably have to put in every night. They know I don’t eat enough or smile enough or drink enough, and so they make me smile because they’re good people.

But some continuously want to tell me how to do my job, the one I’ve given blood and sweat for to master down to the smallest detail, and those who treat me like I’m responsible for their bad days and those who don’t care that I’m human, I just have to serve.

It’s so exhausting that some people don’t care about the workers behind the counter. I hate that my boss doesn’t seem to care either, that we don’t get paid enough, and that I’m expected to jump whenever they want me to. I got a life too, but that doesn’t matter because I’m cheap and they love to use those who never learned how to say no.

I physically can’t tell them I can’t work whenever I’m asked to pick up an extra shift, or when I’m sick or have to do anything else. It’s not even my main occupation and yet, here I am! Every day, I tell myself, I should just quit. It’s not my responsibility if they can’t treat their employees right. It’s not my responsibility they’re understaffed. I’m a student, I go to college, and I’m working hard on my degree - why should I prioritize my job over the thing that will determine the rest of my life?

And yet, every day, I go back. I go back and I work until my feet hurt and I’m sick and I’m tired and all I want to do is just cry. I go back because I, for the life of me, can’t say no. I can’t quit. I want to, but I can’t, and it’s killing me inside that I can’t talk about it the way I want to. In the end, I will always feel like everything is my fault and that I messed up, even though all I did was show up to work and turn into everyone’s punching bag.

My stupidity is what got me here. Usually, I would be home now, studying, but they asked me to pick up a late shift at the cafè again, and I worked for seven hours with only a fifteen-minute break in between - I look horrible, I smell of coffee and cake, and my body is hurting in all the wrong places. The weight is heavy in my stomach. I’m nauseous. I ate, but not enough. I’m hungry. I feel sick. Even the smallest sounds make me want to jump up the wall, kill someone, or perhaps even both. I’m angry, and I don’t even fucking know why because nothing happened. Other than a rather messy day with too much to do and too few people to do the work, the people weren’t even rude and I’ve had worse days - still, I feel everything at once and it’s ridiculous, really, because I’m an adult and I should know better than to let a rough day affect me. I don’t.

When he called and asked if I wanted to come over, I said yes. I didn’t want to, but saying no? Not something I would do, especially not to him. I walked into his apartment with a lump already in my stomach. The door creaked - God, I told him to oil it - and that was the first strike. I tossed my key into the bowl and it promptly fell back out. Second strike. My coat slipped from the hanger the second I hung it up. Third strike. I breathed, I had to, then went to the kitchen to make some dinner. Cooking usually works, usually, but the day must have gotten to me because the fourth strike - the fucking milk being expired - happened way too soon and it hit me, hard. After that, I was pretty much done for, and I knew, I just chose to ignore it.

Of course, I should have known I would screw up everything else, too.

“Hey, sweetheart,” his voice is kind and soft in my ear as he presses a kiss to my cheek. His stubble has never been something to bother me before until that very moment. I flinch away, not sure why. If he realized it - which I’m sure he did - he doesn’t show.

“Smells good,” he says.

I put the garlic into the pan. It smells too much like garlic and I hate it.

“What you making?”

“Pasta,” I tell him.

He kisses me again. “Mh-hm. How was your day?” the question is stupid, but it’s normal and he always asks. He gets himself a beer - only himself - removes the cap with his mouth and then leans against the counter.

He shouldn’t infuriate me. He shouldn’t make me angry just by standing there and asking me questions couples ask themselves, but inevitably, he does. And I hate myself all the more for the way my voice sounds when I answer him.

“Fine,” I say.

“Fine?” he asks. “How was work?” I feel like he’s getting suspicious. “You only had two lectures today, right? English lit and what was the other one?”

“Linguistics.”

“Ah, yes. Your least favorite.”

Perhaps that’s why I’m angry.

“You know,” he says and the tangent he goes on after revolves around him and only him, and while I don’t like talking about myself, that doesn’t mean he has to unload all of his stress on me - I don’t know why I think that way and it’s scaring me because I don’t actually feel that way, but at that moment I do and it’s all very confusing.

I just want to lock myself in his bedroom and cry. He looks so good with the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up. He’s wearing his glasses, still, but his tie is loosened and he smiles because he knows I love that smile. I should love it. I should love the way his muscles tense underneath his shirt or the way his dress pants hang impossibly low on his hips, but for the first time, I don’t. I don’t love anything, I just feel anger, which makes me hate everything, but mostly myself.

I must have zoned out. Suddenly, he’s calling my name and he’s calling me sweetheart and he’s poking me with his hands - no, he’s stroking my hips, hugging me from behind, and it’s all too much. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I lie. He knows I’m lying. He can hear it in my heartbeat. He can feel it in the way I move away from him to rinse the now-empty pan in the sink.

How is the food already finished?

“You didn’t listen to a word I just said,” he dares to sound offended.

“No, I did.”

“Really, what did I say?”

“You and Foggy had a case, didn’t go well, bla bla bla. Same as every day.”

He sets the bottle down. “Alright, sweetheart, what’s wrong? I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“Oh, so just because I don’t care about hearing the same story repeat itself every day and you whining about it means there’s something wrong with me?”

He’s taken aback. Quite frankly, I’ve never snapped at him before, not like this, not out of nowhere, and we’ve been dating for over a year. With his super senses, there is little that eludes the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, especially when it comes to his girlfriend. I hate that it’s like this. I hate not having any privacy, even when I try to. But I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want privacy. Or, I think. I don’t even know what I want. I know I want to be around him, but at the same time, it hurts because the anger is too damn hot to swallow, and his concern doesn’t make it any better. It should be, but it’s not. I’m a lost cause.

“I was just telling you about my day,” he says. I would yell back at myself if I were him, but he knows me. He knows yelling doesn’t help. He knows I’d cry, but maybe that’s what I want. Maybe I want him to yell just so I have a valid reason to cry, to be angry.

I want him to hate me the way I hate myself.

That’s why I can’t help it anymore. “Maybe I don’t want to hear about your day.”

“What?”

“The world doesn’t revolve around you, Matthew!”

He’s confused. I don’t blame him. The second the words left my mouth, I regret them. They make me sound like the most selfish person on the whole planet. I can’t take them back though. If I did, he’d know something is wrong and then he’d worry, he’d pity me and no, I don’t want that. I want to rile him up. I’m not sure why, but it makes me so angry that he’s so calm and I’m… well, I’m me, but I’m also not me. I’m a stranger in my own body.

I put the pasta in a bowl. It stinks of alcohol and tomatoes and garlic, too much of it. I wonder how anyone could eat that.

“Here,” I shove it into his hand, “You’ve been served. I’m gonna take a shower.”

I’m a bad person. I’m pretty sure I am. Who yells at their boyfriend because they can’t deal with their own problems? Who makes the person they love more than life itself feel like shit on purpose for no reason whatsoever? A sane person wouldn’t. We have never been a normal couple, Matthew and I, but we’re trying. Turns out, I suck much more than I thought I would.

It’s not the age gap, I’m sure of it. I’m in my last year as an English Major and he’s a defense attorney. Somehow, we make it work. He loves me, I know he does. He’s afraid of rejection - he thinks everyone he loves will leave him, which is why it took us a while to find together. I should have known my words were going to hurt him unimaginably. He thinks he did something wrong, but it’s not him. It’s never him. He’s damaged, but he’s nothing if not perfect to me, most of the time.

I’m heavily crying at this point, trying to conceal my sobs, but it’s not working. The water is loud, not loud enough to fool Matt’s hearing, but even if he were to hear it, he knows better than to provoke me any further. He doesn’t know what’s going on and neither do I, so it’s just the two of us silently waiting for the other to come around. He shouldn’t have to feel that way. And so I cry more because God, I do not deserve that man. I don’t deserve his kindness or his love. I don’t. I really, really don’t.

And once I’m out of the bathroom, I remember why I don’t deserve him.

The table is set for two. Candles substitute for the harsh ceiling light. He knows it gives me headaches sometimes. He put a bowl out for me and a glass of wine. White wine. The sweet kind. The kind he hates but keeps around in case I ever need a glass. He’s drinking red wine. It’s cheap, but it looks expensive and he likes to feel special from time to time.

I hug my arms around my body. He has his back turned to me, fixing a salad in the kitchen - I must have forgotten it. The way he moves is almost angelic. He moves as if nothing happened, as if I didn’t just treat him like a bitch. He’s singing my favorite song or humming it, anyway. The room smells of him and me and the food I loathed before, but watching him do all of this for me, even now, is sucking the air out of my lungs and suddenly, I don’t mind the thought of eating with him.

I only want one thing. I don’t want to ask for it and he’s not going to do anything unless I talk. We agreed on that from the beginning, no matter what kind of intimacy it involves. Without consent or a proper conversation, nothing will happen. And I curse myself for not being able to speak without the tears blocking my view again.

“There’s a sweater on the couch,” he states. He knows I’m cold. “And some fuzzy socks, if you want.”

The clothes smell like him.

“I put some more salt in the pasta. I think you forgot to salt the water, so I took it upon myself. I hope you don’t mind. Also, I tried to make your favorite salad dressing, but I’m not sure if I managed to get it right this time.”

He smiles and then his glasses are gone and he has an apron on and he looks like he loves me, really loves me, and that’s it. I pull my legs up to my chest, falling deep into the couch and I cry. All the pain just comes exploding out of me like an active volcano.

The leather dents next to me. “Comfort or solution?” he asks. It’s so casual, I get the feeling he’s not mad at me.

“I don’t know,” it sounds so broken.

His arm finds around my shoulder. “Is this okay?” I can only nod. Yes.

He moves me gently so I’m in his lap and he can rock me like a baby. It feels good to be loved like this, but it’s also suffocating. Still, I can’t help but fall deeper into his hold because this is, in fact, all I needed. Too stubborn to ask for it, I almost ruined something good. I know I did. He knows, too, but unlike me, he knows the difference between me being mad at him and being mad at the world. He knows I don’t mean what I say unless we’re fighting, and this isn’t it. We’re not fighting. I’m just angry and I want to cry, even while crying, and that makes me cry even more.

“You want to talk about it?” he asks once I can finally breathe again.

I blow my nose like a disgusting person and say, “Yes. No. I don’t know. Maybe.” And that about sums up all of my life.

“Is it school?”

I shake my head. If it’s not school, it can only be one other thing.

“Work?”

I nod.

“Anything happen or just a bad day?”

“Bad day.”

“That’s why you yelled at me? I didn’t do anything wrong?”

“No,” I say truthfully for the first time. “I’m just angry. I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Maybe next time try telling me though. I was actually scared I did something until I heard you cry in the shower.”

I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I tell him that, to which he only chuckles.

“You know how many times I acted hostile towards you after a long day?” he says. “It happens. It’s okay.”

“I just… I’m so stressed all the time. I hate work and I hate people and I hate not getting paid enough or on time, but I can’t quit because you know, I’m me and they know that, so they take advantage of my inability to say no, and it sucks because I’m so tired of working more than I go to school, but I need the money, and so I can’t leave until I’ve found another job, but no one else wants me, so now I’m here, trying to see the good in this stupid job, but I don’t. I can’t. I hate it. I hate everything and everyone and I hate myself and I think I’ll get my period soon because this should not be upsetting me this much.”

His hand on my back manages to soothe me.

“Thank you,” I say, and I mean it.

He smiles down at me, all loopy, and his sightless eyes are focused somewhere on my forehead, which makes everything so much better.

“I love you.”

And yes, I love him too. I love him so fucking much, it hurts.

“I love you too, Matty.”

As soon as I say his name, he knows what I want. He knows I need to destress. He knows I can’t eat until I can forget.

“Is there something I can do?” he asks, but damn him, he already knows.

“Can you…” no, I can’t ask him for that.

“Yes?”

“Matt, can…” No. “You know what, never mind.”

“No, sweetheart. Tell me. What do you need?”

“I just…” my chest heaves a frustrated groan. “IneedyoutoeatmeoutuntilIcantremembermyname.”

He enjoys it. He gets off on it, my desperation. “Sorry, what?”

“You heard me.”

“I don’t think I did. Can you repeat that?”

“God.” My face is burning.

“I’m sorry, it’s just, this is the first time you actually asked me and I love hearing you ask for the things you want. It’s sexy.”

Somehow, that’s even worse. My thighs clench like I’m some pathetic little schoolgirl with a crush on her teacher.

“You know, maybe you can ask for a raise tomorrow, or quit altogether,” he says. “But for that to work, you have to tell me what you want right now.”

“I asked you to eat me out until I can’t remember my fucking name!”

“Thank you. Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

If there is one thing Matt Murdock is incredibly skilled with, it’s his mouth. And I don’t just mean the words that come out. Essentially, it’s all in his tongue. He’s managed to render me speechless on more than one occasion, and he knows. He knows I love when he touches me, but there are times when it has to be about me, and only me, and he’d gladly suffocate between my thighs. He’s told me that time and time again.

He keeps telling me to ask him if I want something. I never do. I hate asking for it because it’s embarrassing. It’s good that he knows what he’s doing, that bastard because if he didn’t, I wouldn’t be cumming and I wouldn’t tell him. Somehow he always gets the job done, no matter how stressed I am.

That’s why I need it so badly. I need him to take care of me, no matter how long it takes. I know it might take a while because I’m tense and he knows too. He reads my body like an open book. That’s how he knows I’m horny before I even do.

He doesn’t move for another minute. He just stares at me. “You want me to take care of you?” he asks.

“Please,” I beg.

“Guess I’ll have dessert before dinner today then.”

He lifts my head and then he’s suddenly on top of me. He’s sliding me up the couch so he can fit in between my legs. I’m dressed in shorts, a t-shirt, and his sweater and for a second I wonder if it’s even worth it. I’m ovulating, I’m bloated. I feel like shit. My hormones are all messed up. I can feel the weight of my boobs tear on my back and I’m pretty sure the hairs on my legs prickle his cheek as he kisses them. It’s making me want to take back everything I asked of him.

My confidence has taken a low blow this past week.

Though Matt doesn’t care, he never does. He digs his nose between my thighs and takes the longest whiff I’ve seen him take in a while. To be fair, the last time we saw each other, he was busy with work. We didn’t have time for intimacy, which hardly ever happens. He moans.

Smug bastard.

“You’re so beautiful,” he tells me. It melts my heart. The compliment means so much more knowing he can’t physically see me. To him, I’m beautiful. He couldn’t care less about what I looked like. Although sometimes I wonder what picture he has made up of me in his mind.

His lips are on mine fast. I can’t help but sigh. They’re so soft. He doesn’t rush, he just kisses me and then kisses me some more. I tangle my hands in his hair. I’m sure, this is what heaven must be like.

“Let’s take this off.” His sweater joins my shorts on the floor. “May I?” He hooks his fingers underneath the waistband of my panties. “Or do you want me to keep them on?”

I have no doubt he could do it with five layers in between and still make me cum.

“Off,” I say. I want this. I have to remind myself that my insecurities mean nothing – he loves me. He wants to do this for me. He wants to do this because he likes it, or else he would say it.

Matt is vocal, but I’m not. If he doesn’t want to do something, he’ll say. Can’t say the same about me, which is why he asks repeatedly, even after I already told him it’s okay. He wants to make sure I’m on board, that I don’t feel pressured and can pull out any time I want, but I don’t, because the second the cold air hits my bare cunt, all I want is him.

I can feel his eyes searching for me. “Hey,” he says my name. “We’re not playing this time, okay? You can cum when you need to and how many times you want to. You just have to lay back and relax. I’ll take care of you.”

He intertwines our fingers on either side of my spread thighs before he dives into me. It’s slow and steady. He doesn’t care about fucking me with his tongue like he usually does. He licks and bites, but mostly, his tongue and lips stay around my clit and they suck. They suck so good, I see stars behind my eyes. His touch sends shocks down my spine. My sensitive walls clench around thin air, but his head is so far between my thighs, I still manage to feel full.

But no matter how hard I try, I can’t focus. It feels so good, way too good, and on any other day, I would’ve come by now. His beard burns into the inside of my thigh as I rock against him. I try to, but it’s exhausting. I can feel the coil in my lower belly clear as day, and yet it’s too far out of reach. I need it, I crave it.

I can hear myself saying, “This could take a while.” And he laughs because he finds it funny. It’s not funny though, it’s serious. I hate the fact that he makes me feel so good and I can’t find it in myself to enjoy.

“Close your eyes,” his breath fans hot against my folds. “And just stop thinking.”

He makes it his mission to ruin me. I close my eyes and as soon as I do, he’s on me. It’s not just his mouth. One of our joined hands reaches up to touch my breast – he twists my nipple through the shirt until it’s hard and has his attention. The other reaches behind me and lifts my hips. The next thing I know, he has me propped up on a pillow. The muscles in my lower back relax. I sigh. It’s so good.

He’s given up on slow and steady. His head moves in circles as he abuses – I don’t have another word for it – my clit and eats the rest of me like a man starved. I realize I need it fast and I need it hard. He knows it before I do. His tongue expertly parts my wet folds, a mix of arousal and spit trickling down my thighs, but I could care less. He’s inside of me and then his thumb is there and it’s rubbing and rubbing and rubbing and I’m so fucking close, the knot in my stomach feels like it weighs a hundred pounds, and it’s applying sweet, sweet pressure on cunt.

“Fuck!” I throw my head back into the leather. My back arches impossibly high, and his head squished tightly between my thighs. I need him closer. His hair is so soft, it makes me want to cry, and I do. I cry, but not in a sad way. I cry out because yes, God yes! and then I’m cumming, suddenly and without warning, hard, all over his face, and it doesn’t stop. He doesn’t stop.

The growl is animalistic. It vibrates perfectly through my pussy and I can’t help it – it barely takes two minutes until his lips start hurting so good as they keep sucking my clit, a series of ‘one more’ leaves his lips in a plea, and I’m rocking against him hard. I’m begging him, “Matt,” but I’m not sure what for.

“C’mon,” he says, “you can give me one more.”

He’s right. God, I hate when he’s right. My toes curl and I push his face so deep into me, I’m convinced he’s running out of air, but that’s what makes him moan and it sends me over the edge.

I’m pretty sure I passed out. The pleasure is so intense, my stomach feels like it’s being torn apart and then put back together. The world is dark and for the first time today, quiet.

Something nudges my cheek softly. It’s his hand. Matt kisses me and I can taste myself on his lips. “Hey,” he coaxes me back into lucidity. “There you are. Are you okay?”

I nod.

“You need anything?”

It’s a reflex, reaching for him. He gasps slightly when my hand touches between his thighs, expecting to find a visible bulge, but there is none. I’m not sure if it’s my mind playing tricks on me, but there is a visible wet spot where his dick is supposed to be.

“Did you-“ I finally open my eyes. He looks so drunk in the candlelight. I realize then that he is drunk on me.

He buries his head in my neck. “You’re not the only one who’s been worked up all week,” he says.

“You just- oh, my God.” I never thought it possible that it could be enough for him. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you. You’re always so good to me. Good girl. But I think-“ his finger steals my breath as it circles my entrance and promptly slips it inside of me. “You can cum for me again.”

I arch into him. My chest brushes against his. Our shirts suddenly feel like too much clothing and I’m desperate, so I tear at the buttons until they come apart. He has his arm back underneath me, holding me flush against him as if he’s afraid I might slip away.

A wanton moan escapes me. “That’s it,” and his praise is even better. “Think you can take another one?”

He adds a second finger. It burns but only because even after a year, I’m still struggling to take any part of him. His fingers are thick and they’re rough and they’re scratching my inside walls just right. They massage the flesh. He’s pumping his fingers in and out and in and out, and he adds his thumb back on my clit because he knows I won’t be able to cum without it.

All of the stress falls off my shoulders. I feel him everywhere, his kisses, his touch, his hard nipples against mine. He’s hard again, poking against my thigh. I reach for him and he whines, he whines into my mouth. I’m not sure which one of us will come first. I suppose it’s me, it’s always me. He makes sure it will be me.

He hits as deep as he possibly could. His fingers curl inside of me and then, “There it is!” Is so victorious, it makes my eyes roll back. He keeps hitting that particular spot over and over again. My hand clutches his shoulder. I want to scream, but all that comes out is a series of whined and pathetic moans. I can’t help it, my muscles contract around him.

“Damn, you’re gonna break my fingers,” he says. His chuckle is breathless. “You close?”

I hum.

“Do me a favor,” and I expect him to tell me anything but what he requests, “Don’t cum.”

It’s rude. It’s cruel and it’s vile and I want to murder him because just as he says it, the coil tightens impossibly tight and I need to let go. It’s painful to hold it in, especially now. But I do as he tells me nonetheless. I want to please him.

“Matt,” I moan. He’s so unfair and he knows it.

He smirks. “Just hold on a little longer.”

“I can’t!”

“Yes, you can. I know you can.”

“St- oh, fuck!” He hits my sweet spot with twice the intensity. I almost cum, but only almost. I keep it together, no matter how much it hurts, and it’s making tears prick at my eyes. “Please, just let me cum,” I hate begging him. “Please, Matty.”

“Shhh. We’re almost there.”

His thumb speeds up. I can see heaven. God is reaching his hand out for me. My stomach is in a tight knot, so tight, the silk might rip any second. The pressure is unreal. My muscles have been trained by him, I admit, but nothing can prepare you for this. Nothing can prepare you for the times when Matt has his mind set on something and he’s going to take it. He’s going to take you.

I can’t think. It’s too much. I know I’m going to disappoint him. The animal inside of me is beyond satisfied and she wants out. She wants to let go. She loves the feeling of his fingers buried to the hilt inside of her. She loves him, and loving him tends to turn into sweet, sweet torture.

I moan his name again. His cock twitches underneath his dress pants, hot against my fingertips.

“Almost,” he promises. “I just want to try something.”

What could he possibly want to-

“Cum.”

I’m flying. My back lifts off the couch and if it wasn’t for him, I would be dead by now. My body is shaking. It’s earth-shattering and it’s wet and it’s everywhere. I can feel the orgasm tearing me apart from the inside, blood rushing in my ears. My senses go black. I can’t see, feel or breathe. Everything is too much. It’s burning, it’s heavy, but it’s amazing.

His fingers don’t stop until he has milked the last drop of me until even the last ounce of stress has left my body and I’m limp. I’m a corpse. I’m barely breathing, a wet sack of potatoes in his arms.

God, the look on his face. He’s cumming too. The wet patch on his pants has doubled. It’s not from me, although I’m suddenly very aware of the fact of what he just made me do.

“Oh.”

“Fuck,” he growls. “That was amazing.”

I never expected to have it in myself. “Oh, Jesus.” My words are highly blasphemous but I don’t care. I’m not even sure how to feel. The blush creeps up my cheeks and I close my legs a little. Everything is so wet. It’s all me and some of him, but mostly me. Just spurts of cum all over his hand and his couch.

He clicks his tongue, shoving my thighs apart. “Don’t go shy on me now,” he says.

“No, it’s embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing? Sweetheart, I’ve never felt more proud of myself.”

“I just- your couch. Oh, God.”

“I’m pretty sure the couch will survive it. Leather is easier to clean. How do you feel?”

I sigh, snuggling against his chest. “Better,” I have to admit. “Much, much better.”

“Good.” He kisses my neck. “Can I have my fingers back now?”

“No.” I like the feeling of him inside of me, even if it’s just his fingers. It makes me feel complete, almost.

“Okay.”

“Just gonna rest my eyes now.”

“You do that, sweetie. I’ll be here.”

And he is. He always is. I wake up, and he’s there, and he always will be because he promised me this is forever. Us. Me and him. And I realize then that I’ve never been more in love with another person than I am in love with Matt Murdock.

#matt murdock #daredevil #matt murdock imagines #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock smut #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x afab!reader #matt murdock x you #daredevil smut #smut #fluff #matt murdock angst #hurt/comfort #stress relief #I hate customer service with a passion #I also hate retail #I hate work in general #Matt Murdock rail me challenge

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luvsugu · 10 months

Text

see you later

(ch78/s2e5)suguru x reader, angst (nah i fucking hate myself for this), so much hurt and absolutely no comfort

suguru asks you, with the soft voice that he’s always had, one that is gentle, warm and loving, “do you think i’m a terrible person?”

he knows he is—at least, he himself believes that he is—but he doesn’t blame himself, not when he just wants to live in a world where he and others just like him don’t have to continue to suffer. isn’t it fair to want to truly live? not to be stuck in a world where the lines between justice and immorality are so blurred people no longer know which is which? a world where maybe, just maybe, he could catch a glimpse of truly being able to be happy from the bottom of his heart?

maybe you don’t understand. he doesn’t expect you to. he’s grown up, not needing everyone to understand him or even be there for him. times have just simply changed and if you tell him he’s stupid, he’s horrible, he doesn’t deserve to say goodbye to you, then so be it.

but, even still, his shoulders relax when you sniffle and shake your head.

“i don’t,” you whisper to him, voice so constrained as you try your hardest not to let it crack or let a sob escape past your lips. you’re scared that once it happens, your last conversation with suguru would just be you sobbing, wishing you got to say everything on your chest. it still seems likely, though, since you can’t even face him or find a way to put things together so that he’d maybe understand why you don’t and won’t ever hate him.

the way suguru let’s out a breathy “really?” is almost comical. he lets out a small chuckle, one that would make anyone wince as it sounded so painful; but suguru’s never been great at trying to make heavy topics into something lighter even when you are. he’s always taken things as they are, seen situations for what they are, and maybe that’s why he’s where he is now.

it’s ironic how this same attitude, simply accepting and seeing the truth and value of the strong having to protect the weak, that because he was gifted with an ability he’s to save those who aren’t, is now applied to needing to build a world where the weak he used to protect no longer exists. how can you blame him when it’s those same people needing to be protected that left him a mess, unsure where his morals are, unsure of his own path. it’s easier said than done not to lose your way, and suguru knows that first hand.

he doesn’t explain anything to you, he’s certain that the others back at the school probably told you already. he’s just here to say goodbye, anyway.

maybe, too, he’s here to hear your voice one last time.

“this is where i’m headed now,” he continues, voice still gentle, warm and loving, “and… all i can do now is give it my all.”

“i know,” you hurriedly tell him, nodding as you wipe away your tears desperately. there’s a part of you that’s you wishing he was saying something else—that he isn’t saying goodbye without actually saying it because the both of you know it’s always been ‘see you later’—but you know better than to wish and hope away things like this in your life. that there is no later, and this is it. you’re left with no options but to cherish this last moment and it just hurts. still, you can’t say anything else but, “i know, suguru… i know.”

he gives you time, patient as ever, and watches you from where he stands. he’s farther than he usually is, no longer keeping your feet between his own, and now needing more than just a whisper to let you hear his words. he stands at an unfamiliar distance, but he doesn’t allow himself to cherish familiarity with you anymore since he convinces himself that it’s better to just say goodbye. it’s cruel, though, that the hug you two shared two weeks ago became the last one without you two knowing.

“y/n,” he finally calls out—he realizes he no longer has all the time in the world with you.

“i know,” you repeat, this time unable to hold back a sob, “i know, suguru! and i’m so sorry! i didn’t— i didn’t—“ you inhale sharply and cover your mouth with both your hands. now is not the time, you tell yourself, you need to say something to make this worth while. “i just wish i was there,” you whisper, looking towards suguru with your brows furrowed upwards and your expression twisted in a way that suguru sees a pain that he never wished to see you in.

he nods to let you know he heard you, though, never looking away as you had finally looked him in the eyes since he got here. “remember to eat and take your vitamins, okay?” he tells you, taking a step back as he clenches his fists in his pockets, “and make sure you set a timer on your fan at night so you don’t wake up all cold in the mornings, okay?”

you nod as he speaks. “okay—“ you sob out, “i will— i’ll— i'll remember.”

he nods again, forcing the smile on his face. “okay. then...” he couldn’t bring himself to do what he came to you for. he lets out a small laugh and turns away, not wanting to ever let you see that this was hurting him as much as it was hurting you. “see you later.”

#jjk imagine #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen reader insert #jjk reader insert #jujutsu kaisen drabble #jjk drabble #geto suguru #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #geto suguru x y/n #geto x y/n #geto suguru headcanons #geto suguru reader insert #geto suguru drabble #geto suguru angst #geto angst #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk angst

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ohisms · 2 years

Text

↪ ᵗʰᵉ 𝑫𝑼𝑺𝑻𝒀 𝑻𝑶𝒀𝑩𝑶𝑿 . ( a collection of various unsorted sentence starters . adjust phrasing as necessary . no longer updating . )

why are you here ?

drive . drive fast .

i think we should make an informed decision .

are you coming or not ?

you’ve been avoiding me .

[ name ] , what were you thinking ?

this should be your priority .

let me hold you for a minute .

get out of my way . i won’t tell you again .

that wasn’t supposed to happen .

can you keep a secret ?

i don’t know what i did to deserve you .

you seriously think i could’ve done something like that ?

you’re safe with me .

sorry isn’t good enough .

where is all this coming from ?

who told you about that ?

sorry i’m late , i got caught up .

you’re being paranoid .

why are you looking at me like that ?

you’re the single most important thing to me .

all i’m asking is that you hear me out .

whatever they told you , it’s a lie .

we shouldn’t stick around here .

hold my hand , i don’t want to lose track of you .

[ name ] ... truth or dare ?

i love you . nothing’s gonna change that .

can you tell me what happened ?

you can’t come around here anymore .

back off , okay ?

what , you don’t have time for me anymore ?

you’re asking for too much .

i’m trying to start a new life .

what do you mean , you aren’t coming back ?

sometimes i think you must hate me .

why can’t we just talk about this ?

i know i fucked up , you can stop rubbing it in .

you’ve got quite a reputation .

i’m not usually like this , i’m sorry .

please , just let me explain myself .

i love watching you work .

we’re on the same team .

did you ever tell anyone ?

you’ve got a lot of explaining to do .

really funny , you’re very mature .

you call THAT a PLAN ?

can we get out of here ?

i thought things would be different .

this is not up for debate !

do whatever you have to do .

karma’s going to get you for that .

it could’ve been a lot worse .

i asked you to leave me out of this .

maybe it’s time to take a leap of faith .

i never want to see you again .

can you see how many fingers i’m holding up ?

i’m gonna be there when you get what’s coming to you .

you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me .

i’ve been waiting all night for this .

i told you not to contact me .

sometimes i really think you have a death wish .

what do you need ? --- what can i do ?

i would do literally anything to keep you safe .

that was supposed to be a secret .

you haven’t called me that in years .

stop telling me to calm down !

we make a pretty good team .

i have so much i want to say to you .

i’m not going to let anyone hurt you .

can we please not do this right now ?

wait , wait … just breathe for a second .

how are you holding up ?

why don’t you stay the night ? i’ll take the couch .

i don’t need your protection !

you’re not making this easier on yourself .

are you going to let me in ?

i’m supposed to be protecting you .

i will kill you if i have to .

do whatever you have to do .

this is going to hurt , i’m sorry .

what happened to you , where have you been ?!

there was nothing you could’ve done .

you’re all i need right now .

i don’t believe in love at first sight .

have you been following me ?

i need you to believe me .

what do you remember ?

i’m not a good person .

what the hell’s going on with you ?

you’re being followed .

just when i thought my day couldn’t be any worse .

i’ve been having weird dreams .

so you’ve been lying to me this whole time ?

are you trying to get us killed ?

this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me .

i never asked for your help .

you’re being followed , pretend you know me .

why has it started to feel different with you ?

don’t worry , i have a plan .

i heard everything .

do you need to sit down ?

i have the right to know what’s going on .

i’ve just gotta catch my breath .

stay out of my business .

what did you think was going to happen ?!

don’t cause a scene .

tell me something about you that i don’t know .

can i buy you a drink ?

what if ... we played spin the bottle ?

this was never a problem until [ name ] came around .

you can’t ask me to make that choice .

are you seeing anyone right now ?

i need you to listen to me , we don’t have long .

you’re lying , that doesn’t make any sense .

you look ... stunning .

what are you trying to prove ?

who died and made you the boss of me ?

you can’t just show up here like this .

let me make it up to you .

there’s no way i’m leaving you like this .

can we stay like this ? just for a little longer .

i don’t need you to fight for me .

so … you lied to me ?

you’re the only one that can help me .

i can’t help you if you won’t let me .

i never introduced myself , i’m [ name ] .

i expected more from you .

you have no idea who i am , do you ?

are you real ? is this real ?

can i stay with you ? just for the night .

you’re going to get yourself killed .

why did you help me ?

tell me what i can do to help .

pick a card , any card .

i never wanted any of this .

i love you . you don’t have to say it back .

do you wanna get out of here ?

what the hell are you talking about ?

i should have trusted you .

get your head out of the clouds .

how is any of this MY fault ?!

what aren’t you telling me ?

i can’t help you if you won’t let me .

it’s never just one with you , is it ?

you’re not supposed to know about that .

shut your mouth .

i haven’t kissed you yet , today .

where is this coming from ?

come over here and make me , then .

keep lying to yourself , see where it gets you .

i’m not a bad person .

is that what you wanted to hear ?

we can’t be seen together .

i can’t give you what you want .

i need you to leave .

are you drunk ?

i’m here , i’m here . i’m not going anywhere .

you might want to take a seat for this .

have you been listening to anything i’ve said ?

i haven’t heard from you in weeks .

you’re jealous , aren’t you ?

who do you think you’re talking to ?

what are you reading ?

you could’ve killed me !

come on , we don’t have time for this .

i just need ten minutes of silence .

really ? that’s all you have to say ?

we could leave , you know . go far away .

you don’t look too good .

i never want to see you again .

why can’t you just leave me alone ?

i thought you died .

you’ll do anything for attention .

give me another chance .

how’s the weather up there ?

all you do is hurt people !

i’m sorry , none of this makes sense .

you need to get out of here before anyone sees you .

i told you i didn’t want you around here .

is that supposed to be a threat ?

you’ve changed .

don’t look at me like that .

it’s a beautiful day , don’t you think ?

i did what i had to do .

you never know when to stop .

i’ve got to get home , it’s getting late .

i have nothing to prove to you .

stop LYING to me ... all you do is lie .

you don’t have to be nice to everybody .

don’t tell me what to do .

pull your head out of the past .

nobody can help me . i can’t even help me .

we are not talking about that right now .

are you new around here ?

you have no idea what you’re starting .

i’m gonna get us out of here .

whatever you came here to say , i don’t want to hear it .

everyone’s staring at us .

is there anything i can do to help ?

i won’t cause you any more trouble .

– just follow my instructions for once !

do you want to come in ?

i just didn’t know what to do .

you need rest , lie down .

i’m not who you think i am .

i don’t know what you want me to say .

you’re not like anyone else i’ve ever met .

i feel like i’m going insane .

stop asking , you’re not going to like my answer .

i didn’t want you to see me any differently .

i wish i knew what to say to you .

don’t give me that look , you know what i mean .

you should be afraid .

do you still love me ?

i never thought i’d get this far .

the world doesn’t revolve around you .

i need you to give me some space .

i know what you’re doing , don’t play games .

you left me to die .

i’m beyond repentance .

when are you going to get it through your head ?

i missed you more than i thought i would .

i’m in love with you .

what do you need from me ?

i’ll kill them , just say the word .

[ name ] , what are you doing here ?

how can i help ?

you’re pathetic .

i need you to come pick me up .

where have you been ? it’s eleven o’clock .

i couldn’t live with myself if i let you get hurt .

i can’t just pretend it didn’t happen .

you’re a real piece of work .

do you remember how we first met ?

when did all of this fall apart ?

that’s not what i came here for .

i would do anything for you .

i don’t need you to hold my hand through this .

are you sure this is the right thing to do ?

can’t we try to pretend things are okay ?

what is THAT supposed to mean ?

you’re always late , what am i supposed to think ?

there’s nothing you can do to fix this .

you’re far too kind to me .

can we go now ? like , right now ?

i have to do this alone .

where’s your common sense ?

we aren’t supposed to be in here .

can you feel my heartbeat ?

i think i’ve seen you around before .

why are you acting weird ?

i have a really bad feeling .

i hate seeing you like this .

how am i supposed to react to that ?

what do you want most in the world ?

#rp meme #rp prompt #rp inbox meme #ohisms

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yanderederee · 1 year

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yandere!mitsuya takashi x crush!reader

tw: stalking, obsession, threatening remarks, cursing, gaslighting, your normal yan things♡

I’ m not too proud of this piece, but I can’t bring myself to discard. So, here it is if you like it.I also planned to add more friction and more stalking bits but :( I thought it ended on a cute note and didn’t have the heart to keep going. Enjoy what you can♡

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

You had been on Mitsuya’s radar for a long long time now.

Ever since grade school, you both ran with different crowds, so it was hard to get close to you. For years, Takashi has watched you from afar. He knows more about you than anyone, he would bet.

He knew what foods you prefer, which foods you hated, and how you like them seasoned. He knew your favorite shows, he watched them all. Which character troupes you fall for (even knew that ‘Big brother type” guys were your thing), your love language, and how you choose to spend that love. he even keeps track of your monthlies … He knew your size in clothing, down to the specific measurements. Don’t ask how. He knew the shampoo you used, how often you showered—- but still, it was never the right chance to actually talk to you.

Mitsuya Takashi was a fool.

He told himself this every, single, day. He was a fool for not befriending you sooner, before you grew into a relationship with some idiot. It made his blood absolutely Boil.

Mitsuya Takashi fucking hated your boyfriend.

Mitsuya Takashi hated your boyfriend more than absolutely anything. At first, he assumes is was a little crush. A fling even, between you two. I mean, he was an obvious dope. No good qualities about him and it was obvious that as time went on, you wanted less and less involvement with the relationship.

It was also obvious you were scared to leave.

He was furious when he would see the two of you holding hands when you’d walk to school, or go on a date. He wasn’t mad at you, you only craved attention. And it was only fair that you should be admired. But he would damn anyone who dared to take you away from him.

It took time, but Mitsuya found a way to control his rage when we witnessed the two of you together. He had been patient for so long, he could wait for this stupid fling to pass.

It was weird though. Mitsuya really did know everything about you. He could tell when you grew bored of a subject in class, he could tell when you lose interest in a series after it became mundane, he knew when you would start to wander. And he could see it, clear as day on your face.

You were becoming more and more impatient, the longer your relationship went on. Of corse he didn’t know all the details, but he did know that you weren’t into it anymore. He knew you were strong enough to break up with the fool anytime you wanted. So why didn’t you?

That thought kept tripping Takashi up for a few days. He too was growing impatient. What was taking you so long to drop the sack of shit?

He simply couldn’t understand. Until one day, you came in with a look he had never. Not once. Seen on your face before.

Fear.

Alarms start to blast in his ears. What did you need to be scared of? Why were you looking over your shoulder like you were avoiding someone? Like you were trying to avoid someone. Like someone was following you.

You’d never caught Takashi stalking you, even an after all these years. He was good at what he did. So this was all the more concerning to him.

By now, you two were older and it was easier to talk to people outside of your group troupe. But he still couldn’t tell if now was the best time to try threading himself into your life. He weighed the options over and over.

There’s nothing to lose, he concluded. Worst case scenario you ignored his friendly advances. Sure, it was better for you to not even know who he was than for you to consider him a creeper, but he was determined.

Mitsuya took note of the times you were and weren’t around the parasitic form that loomed over you, and decided during lunch would be the best opportunity.

“Ah.. um, y/n, right?” Takashi called out to you, gently. You turned, full attention to his lilac gaze. “Yeah.. um… Mitsuba, right?” You asked with a kind smile. A tinge of pain hit him, but he recovered with a playful laugh. “Close, Mitsuya. Mitsuya Takashi.” He introduced himself with a casual bow. You did the same, and waited for him to continue his inquiry.

“Say… you like Tokyo Mew Mew, right?” He asked. He knew you were into it, you had a cute little Pudding* figure dangling from your school bag. It was basically public knowledge. You blushed at his question. It was a bit childish, and being into anime at this time was target enough for bullying. And Mitsuya Takashi looked like a bully.

“I guess…” you muttered, looking away. “Hm.. my little sisters are really into it, you see…” he mentioned, taking in your figure this close nearly made his heart beat out of his chest. He could actually smell you. Touch you, if he was so daring.

“Well, I mean, they really want to see the new movie that’s coming out. I don’t really know anything about it,” he lied. “They said they’re too embarrassed to go with me, and my mom’s too busy with work to take them..” he rubbed the back of his head as though he was about to ask something of you.

Unsure of how to respond to this complete stranger, you shift your gaze between your fiddling hands and his chin, unable to meet his eye.

You knew better than to do that.

“So I figured since you like it, yo-“ before he could fulfill his master plan, you paused him from talking further by placing your hand up gently.

“I’m sorry… I have to go…” you bow, your gaze shifting between something else entirely, and your fiddling fingers.

He could read your face as clear as glass: you were uncomfortable.

Scared.

Mitsuya narrowed his eyes, testing to see if he could tell where your gaze was wondering to. He couldn’t possibly scare you that much, could he?

“Oh, right… um, well, here,” he said sheepishly. “You can still have the ticket, I don’t think I’ll see it on my own. Consider it an apology for taking up your time.” He gave his best charming smile, pushing the movie ticket into your hands before you could refuse. Oh god, he almost gasped at the feel of your soft hands…

Your hands were warm, from all their fiddling. A little clammy, given your nerves. But so soft. Your hands were so soft and he didn’t want to let go. This was definitely a test of his willpower. But the touch lasted less than two seconds, before he traced his finger tips against the back of your nail beds to release you.

Immediately though, as though his touch was painful, your eyes widened like saucers. That same scared look took over, and your gaze again drifted. He pretended not to notice, instead turning on his heal to follow your gaze. “See ya,”

Making his exit, he followed your gaze to a sickening figure that shadowed the hall. The bastard himself; your boyfriend. Mitsuya knew how to read the way he was looking at you. The way he was glaring at you. At you, Mitsuya seethed. He’d expected to see the son of a bitch’s glare directed at him, if anyone.

That glare.

Takashi had to physically take a breath to hold back the blooming hate in his chest.

How Dare he look at you like that?

Mitsuya reminded himself of his surroundings after someone called his name, and suddenly everything was back to full motion. He hadn’t realized how blinded he was just a moment ago.

Still. The gears in his head were processing full throttle. What was he glaring so disgusted about? Why did you force a smile and apologize so sincerely to him? When you had done nothing wrong, what was he obviously blaming you for? And why was it that in one of the hottest days the week forecasted, you had on your long sleeve uniform top? You almost stood out amongst the school of sweaty teenagers.

Slowly each hint lined up perfectly, but still no evidence. There needed to be proof. He couldn’t just kill someone without good reason—-

well, he could, and he Definitely Would.

In fact, he might.

That look he gave you was reason enough.

Despite what one might think, Mitsuya Takashi was a gentleman. He truly loved you. Fully and unconditionally. He’d walked you home from school practically every day. Every day he could, revolving around his sisters and gang, of course.

He could mostly only check on you when you were sleeping, and would leave just after. He never spied on you while changing. Takashi wanted to wait for that.

His heart couldn’t take it, he decided a long time ago. But that was a long time ago.

A lot was taking up his attention these days, though. Toman’s been having a lot more challengers, and Luna was just starting to get into harder mathematics. And Takashi was nothing short of a team player. The best big brother. He had lots of responsibilities, yet he couldn’t help fussing over you too.

Now look, Mitsuya really did want to walk you home everyday. He used to, in fact. But there was just too much he was forcibly needing to attend to. His family always came first. And once the time was right, you would become part of that family. And until then, he had to keep up appearances, responsibilities, and the gang.

Today, Mitsuya decided he had the time to walk you home, too. You walked home with the parasite, but he did like the idea of finding out where he lived, pay a visit perhaps. Unfinished business, and all. He walked a distance, and made sure to keep unseen, until the walk home became a detour to a crowd less street.

That was the only explanation for how he didn’t know about all of this until .. now? Right fucking now?

“Are you trying to hurt me that badly? Really?” your boyfriend sighed, angry and teary eyed.

“No, it isn’t like that,” you tried to explain. “He didn’t mean anything by it. Just a friendly gesture-“

But he cut you off by yelling at you.

“Friendly my ass, he’s been drooling over you for years y/n!”

You rolled your eyes.

“You’re just making that up… I’ve never spoke to him once before today.”

Yet it wasn’t convincing enough. “No, I get it. You told him something you shouldn’t have, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t tell him anything, I …. I haven’t told anyone, I promise.” You seemed to look away.

Mitsuya could see the both of you from his hiding spot, see both of your expressions as you both fought. Finally, you guys actually might break up, and by his unintentional influence? What a dream come true.

Excited, Takashi listened in further, hoping to hear your magic words.

“Really? I think you’re lying.” Your boyfriend nabbed out short.

You gasped sharply when he grabbed you by the root of your hair and tilted your eyes up to face his pissed off look.

“I think you’re trying to leave me behind. You want to leave me so bad. You hate me so much. Wish I would drop dead, even though I’m the one who looks out for you,” he scoffed.

“You would be a target without me. I hear the way the girls gossip about you. How you can’t put together an outfit to save your life. How clumsy you are.”

Your boyfriend gives you a pitiful smile, rolling his thumbs over your cheeks.

“No one talks badly about my baby though. I protect you, I always do.” His expression darkened as he frowned. “But you can’t stand being with me. You just won’t get that stupid idea about breaking up out of your stupid fucking head.”

The whiplash that snapped its way through Takashi’s system was unreal. The wind knocked right through him when he finally caught back up to reality.

Red lights were blaring in Mitsuya’s vision, yet on the outside, aside a hitched breath and a glare that could kill, Takashi was composed and poise. Out on a mission to kill, and he had his prey, and prize both locked in sight.

“Ooi, Y/n-chan,” Mitsuya casually yawned in a greeting to break the muggy tension of the empty school yard.

Your boyfriend visibly rose to full height, which was somewhat taller than Mitsuya. It’s fine. If Mikey has taught anyone anything, it’s to not determine dominance on size.

Takashi Mitsuya was going to rock this guys shit.

“Thought I’d come around to ask if you’d reconsider ‘bout that movie tonight.“ he lied with a sickly sweet smile your direction.

Like your boyfriend simply did not exist in his line of sight.

“Asshole. You got a lot of nerve.” Your boyfriend spoke down to Mitsuya, completely blocking you out of his way.

A nuisance. An obstacle.

—-One that commonly makes your life harder. The same guy who belittled you and kept you complacent. With his threatening words and god knows what else.

“You’re talking to My Girlfriend, I think you’ve forgot.”

“Don’t give a shit who you are,” Takashi whipped back, a look of murder flares his expression red.

“Not’a very respectful way to talk to your partner, someone aught’a teach you some fucking manners.”

Takashi grinned in your boyfriends confused face, the crazed feeling of hate swirled in Mitsuya’s chest, he reminisced in how much he hated the son of a bitch in front of him.

Just before Mitsuya’s instincts took the better of him, and began what would have been a series of combination martial art memoirs. He realized you were still wide eyed and stressed by the conflict before you. He could see you were about to jump in, to try and divert the friction.

Takashi Mitsuya knew what kind of person you were, and loved you for it. Almost instantly, Takashi found himself composed from that wild instinct to kill, from fit in his sheep’s clothing. To be the guy who you needed when things were dicey. Someone reliable to depend on because no one else in this world has ever looked out for you before. Before him.

A fake, kind smile spread on Mitsuya’s expression when he stepped-in uncomfortably close with your boyfriend.

And he whispered.

“You’re going to pay for the shit you’ve done to y/n. She’s not about to see any of that though, you got that you piece of shit?” Takashi’s voice seethed with poison.

“Get the fuck out of here before I dislocate your fucking femur. I swear to god, I can make it look like you just passed out while you lay here winded and unable to call for help while you can’t feel anything below your fucking-“

“M-Mitsuya…” you called out, feigning confidence.

He loved that look.

Mitsuya patted on your boyfriend’s shoulder, soon to bask in the look of primal fear sweating through his shirt. “What.. the fuck is wrong with you? Fu-fucking psycho…” your boyfriend sighed, fumbling to make a few feet distance between him and Mitsuya.

“Please… no more tonight, seriously!” You spoke up, taking a belittled stance closer to your boyfriend.

But Mitsuya gently took your free hand, halting you further.

“Y/n… he’s ready to back off, you don’t have to keep hiding behind him.” He spilled out, his words catching on to your boyfriend as he high tailed his way out from your sights. “I don’t have to be anything to you, but I can’t sit quietly while I know you’re hurting like this. I won’t. So please, let me look out for you, unconditionally.”

“I meant it when I said my little sisters were into Tokyo Mew Mew,” Mitsuya chuckled to ease the awkward tension, pulling out his extra tickets. “Only part I lied ‘bout was not knowing much about it. Binged it the other week, ‘n I’m actually caught up and pretty stoked to see this movie, too.”

“We can still make it, if you’re up for it.”

#here it is anyway #I’m not proud of it though #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev x y/n #mitsuya imagines #mitsuya x reader #toman mitsuya #tokyo revengers takashi mitsuya #mitsuya takashi #takashi mitsuya #mitsuya takashi x reader #yandere #soft yandere #manga

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eve-made-the-right-choice · 1 month

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You know, I get blocked a lot by genderists, and every time they block me, they always send me a me a message specifically asking why I, a “terf,” am following them (in addition to “telling me off”). But I can’t answer, because they blocked me. So I’m gonna answer here:

It’s because you made a good post. Because you said something that spoke to me, or you have lots of good opinions on many different topics, and I want to hear what you have to say. Or because I like your art. And it’s quite likely that I didn’t know you were “queer,” because I don’t obsessively vet blogs before I follow them. And if I DID know that you were “queer,” I was okay with that. Because I believe that it’s healthy and good to expose myself to the opinions of people I disagree with, so I don’t get trapped in an echo chamber. It’s quite likely that I agreed with a lot of the things you had to say.

And I’m gonna be honest, I really don’t understand why you’re messaging me when you’re blocking me. When I block people, it’s because I want to become invisible to them. Say (for example) I blocked a user because I discovered they were a neo-nazi. I know that nazis are dangerous. If I go to their messages and tell them that I’m blocking them, I’ve accomplished three things:

1: I’ve informed them of our conflict, which they may or may not have known about;

2: I’ve made it personal, therefore motivating them to obsess over it, and

3: I’ve drawn attention to my username and helpfully saved it in their messages for them, thereby making it easier for them to stalk me and/or harass me through other accounts, or even even dox me to their nazi friends.

Whereas if I simply block them without messaging them, they may not notice that I’m not showing up in their feed anymore and gradually forget about me. Which is ideal, because dangerous people hold grudges and act on them.

So if you’re messaging “terfs” before blocking them, you’re either:

A) naive about internet safety because you’ve never experienced harassment from dangerous people either personally or through a friend, or

B) simply don’t believe that “terfs” are dangerous.

And let me tell you, as a long-time radical feminist who HAS had friends who were harassed and stalked by dangerous individuals, giving them your attention is a sure-fire way to fuel their hate. Arguing with them makes their hatred worse, and you will never get the last word in because stalkers are fueled by anger. It energizes them, and they like it.

Now don’t worry, this is not a threat. If you’ve sent me a message before blocking me, I’ve already forgotten about you. I don’t have the energy to hold grudges, and I never hated you to begin with. I genuinely believe that most people I disagree with are just average people who are trying to get through their day, and arguing is usually not worth anyone’s time. I’m telling you all of this because, even though I disagree with gender ideology, I don’t want you to endanger yourself by getting the attention of a dangerous individual.

However, if you have been messaging “terfs” before you block them for years and never once experienced retaliation or been afraid of them retaliating, you should take a few minutes to really, I mean really think about why that is.

Best of luck, even though you would never wish me the same.

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juiles · 1 month

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Sticking Out Sucks 3

Requested: no

Summary: part 3 of the au where they find out a secret of yours they dont love.

Tags: fluff

Triggers: smoking

Masterlist here.

Requests here.

Taglist here.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I looked out at the field below my window as I sat on the windowsill, a cigarette between my lips taking small puffs. A calming lull of security ran around me as Queen songs played on in the background. This was something I did when I knew my new mothers were out. It was a lot easier to hide when they hated me. Well, I guess they never hated me but when they decided to ignore me for my own benefit. Something I’m still getting used to is having two parents who care about my health. If they knew I smoked, they would freak out, I would probably get grounded for life.

I heard the elevator ding meaning someone was coming on to our floor which was odd because nobody but me and my mothers ever came up here. I quickly extinguished the cigarette in my hand and stashed the whole pack and my lighter away in a small nook right outside that was kept dry by a stone I shoved over top. I quickly sprayed some body spray around my room and settled back on the windowsill, music still playing in the background.

I heard a knock and yelled come in. My door opened and Bruce was standing in my doorway. “Your moms told me to feed you while they were gone, din-“ He stopped mid sentence and sniffed the air around him. “Why does it strongly smell like vanilla with a hint of cigarette smoke in here?” My heart rate picked up slightly but, on the outside, kept a calm façade. I shrugged flipping the knife in my hand around. “Y/N?”

“Its probably someone outside smoking. I had a candle lit not too long ago.” I muttered looking over at the man in the doorway. “What did my mothers say you were to do again?” I asked placing the switchblade on the dresser beside me.

“Right. Food is on the table in the kitchen. Its pizza and wings. Sorry I can’t cook like your mom.” He said with a small sheepish look on his face. I shrugged and grabbed my phone off my bed, following him as he walks out my door and towards the elevator.

“That’s fine. I was used to less than that before.” I said as he pushed the elevator button and the doors opened with a ding. I pushed past him lightly as I got on, him following up behind me and pressing the button for the main living floor where the kitchen was. We stood in silence as I scrolled through my phone.

“If you’re smoking you need to tell me.” He said out of the blue, making me look up at him with shock. “You’re thirteen years old. Your body is not ready to handle those types of things. Those drugs.” He said looking at me strongly.

I tried to play it cool. “If I was smoking Bruce, you wouldn’t know. I’m to smart for that.” I bit my lip looking down at my feet as the doors opened. I quickly stepped out of the elevator and made my way towards the kitchen trying to get away from him.

As I sat and ate my pizza, the doors opened revealing my two mothers, dirty but otherwise not looking to bad. “Detka.” I looked up and my face broke out into a giant smile. My safe people were home. It had been a week since my breakdown and they’ve been nothing but supportive in everything I need and I knew that tomorrow we would be having the conversation with Fury about taking me off missions, something that I was ridiculously looking forward to.

“Momma!” I said, hopping off the stool and running towards the two women. “Mama! You guys are back early! I thought you wouldn’t be back until early tomorrow morning!”

“We happened to finish early so we thought we would come home and spend the night together! Movie night?” Natasha said with a small smile as I wrapped myself up into their arms. Nat sniffed my head then pulled me back with a raised eyebrow.

My smile immediately faded as I looked up at the redhead in front of me. “Hi mama.” I said sheepishly. Her smile faded as well as she looked over at Wanda then back at me. “We have pizza…?”

“Why do I smell cigarette in your hair young lady?” She asked, nervously I shrugged and went back to the counter where my pizza was sitting. “No. Why do I smell cigarette in your hair?” I shrugged again and took a bite of my pizza, knowing it was fruitless to lie to them, but I still didn’t want to admit it to her.

“Natasha what are you talking about?” Wanda said, making her way over to me and placing a kiss on my head before she stopped and sniffed my hair as well. I knew I had forgotten to spray something, my hair. “You do smell like cigarette smoke. Why?” Wanda said, making me put down my piece of pizza.

I shrugged again but stopped when I heard a cough from beside me. “No lies. Truth. Now.” Instead of taking that properly, my whole body felt like an instant reaction to Wanda’s words, and I immediately went into defense.

“Why should I tell you the truth?” I snapped standing up. I pushed past the redhead on my left and found my way up the stairs and into my room. “FRIDAY, keep my door locked, no one can enter, not even Wanda and Natasha.” I opened my window and grabbed my cigarettes, quickly pulling one out and lighting it. I took a few puffs, tears falling down my face. “Why the fuck would they want to keep me now? You’re fucking stupid Molchalin. Why would they want to keep you now?”

My door was kicked open and, in the wake, stood my redhead mother looking at me with nothing but concern and worry. “Why did you run off detka? Why did you lock yourself in?” She said running towards me, ignoring the currently lit cigarette in my hands, and pulling me into her arms. I felt the cigarette get taken out of my hand and I instinctively wrapped my arms around Natasha, small sniffles coming out.

“I’m sorry mama! I’m sorry!” I cried out looking up at her. She shushed me, tucking a piece of red hair behind my ear and pulled me into her again. Rubbing my back to calm me down. “I’m sorry I lied, I’m sorry I smoked!”

“No more tears malyshka.” Wanda said pulling me into her arms next.

“We just want to know if you plan on continuing to smoke or if you want to stop. We would really like to help you stop. Youre so young detka.” Natasha said, sitting on my bed, prompting wanda and myself to sit next to her.

“It’s calming… it makes me feel serene… something I don’t get very often.” I mumbled, picking at my fingers, being held in my mothers arms. “It was more often from when you guys ignored me… it was easier to just feel spacey then deal with what I really felt on the inside.”

“From now on, when you feel the need to smoke, why don’t you come to one of us?” Wanda suggested, running her fingers through my hair. “You come to us and we talk about why you might be feeling that way rather than smoking and ruining your body hmm?” I looked up at her, eyes wide and full of fear.

“What if I’m not sure why I feel that way?” I mumbled looking back down at my fingers. “Sometimes I feel feelings, I don’t understand and its just easier to float away than feel them…”

“Well momma and I were talking on the flight back and we thought about maybe putting you in therapy… we all had to do it when we first got out of wherever we got out of and since your now in our care, we think it would be very helpful.” Natasha said braiding my hair in small sections. I shrugged holding the teddy they had recently gotten me, tightly in my arms.

“Its scary…”

“But it will be easier with us on your side. Now, movie and cuddles? I can go get the pizza and some snacks?” I immediately perked up when mama mentioned movie and cuddles and nodded my head quickly.

“Yes please!”

Taglist:

@asiangmrchk13 @boredandneedfanfics @mythixmagic @natashamaximoff-69 @grim-trans-witch

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