#I have decorated inside since the birbs are not allowed in the house

[sheliesshattered]

why haven't I decorated my porch for Halloween yet?

because if I did my crow friends wouldn't come visit me

[mintenochian]

what other people want added to Minecraft: g u n s

what I want added to Minecraft

•Birds

-For multiple biomes, but mainly for the forests.

-Songbirds would add SO MUCH life to the otherwise quiet areas of the game

-Ravens and crows would be awesome and could use some of the parrot mimicking AI

-Cardinals in the snow biomes would bring a GORGEOUS pop of colour into the white atmosphere

-Seriously we need something to populate the sky, parrots do NOT fly like they should

-nests in trees, can find eggs in them

-doesn't really add a use but fun new feather types would be cool

•Owls

-technically still a bird but would go really well in covered rooftop forests and snow biomes

-we're already getting larger avians added in the form of vultures so why not more large birds?

•Mice and / or rats

-absolute precious babies

-sadly would go well with owls :(

-with cave update coming we need adorable rodents scurrying around

-lil bastards could make mouseholes inside of blocks

-will they be tameable? idk.

-adds the necessity for cheese

•Deer

-MOJANG this is a MUST, this is a NEED

-You literally have pigs, chickens, cows, and sheep spawning in forests what the fuck

-Deer with spotty baby fawns??? Yes

-Young bucks with different stages of antler growth? Yes

-Fawns frolicking in flower forests bc they feel safe

-Stripped wood appearing on trees where bucks scrape velvet off their antlers

-Being able to collect sets of antlers when they fall off periodically (would NOT be attainable by killing the deer, you have to wait for them to shed)

•Elk and Moose

-Same vein as deer

-Bigger, much bigger, neutral instead of passive, less shy

-Snowy biomes

-Better additions than fucking llamas tyvm

-Sidenote but savannahs could also really use some endangered deer-like species to help raise awareness for their status

•Squirrels

-Mojang plz

-Adds nuts to Minecraft ;)

-Black, grey, red, and mixed colour squirrels and breeding

-Brings life to forests like songbirds and deer

•Bears

-Mojang bby you literally already have a neutral bear in Minecraft why have you not reskinned it for grizzly/brown/black bears?

-Bear caves

-Hibernating mobs

-Brings more use to the beehives and bees, bears could be attracted to any area that has more than one bee hive with honey

•WOLVES AND DOGS

-They NEED the ocelots and cats update

-More wolf types (red, timber, snow, black, etc)

-Actual wolf packs (the AI would be difficult to program but the doges are worth it)

-Please let the howl at the moon, if foxes get to say ringdingding all night long wolves deserve to be allowed to howl

-More dog breeds (I know that there's no reason for domesticated dog breeds in Minecraft but ACTUALLY THERE IS)

-Hunting dogs like springers that can jump and run faster

-Foxhounds :D

-Most Important Goodest Boy: Herding dogs like collies and sheepdogs

-Herding dogs could be found in plains where cows and sheep spawn and create herds

-LET DOGS LAY DOWN FOR FUCKS SAKE

•Herding

-Instead of having to pen up and enclose your livestock you could form herds of cows and sheep

-Your Goodest Boi herding dog would protect them and move around with them when they graze

-Just soft peaceful minecraft tingz

•Salt licks

-Something SO SMALL but would make SO MUCH HAPPINESS

-Drawing new cows into your herd by putting up a salt lick

-I'm soft

-I guess salt would be a new ore???

•Bird feeders

-idk I think it would be cool

-excess seeds used for SOMETHING

•Raccoons

-The coolness of wolves, the chaos of foxes, the cunning of cats

-thumbs

-be gay do crimes

-can open chests (trigger trap chests to catch them?)

-Fantastic little shits

-Not tameable but will trust players like foxes do

•Snakes

-I know it's a lot to ask and it would be hard to make them look good

-But??? Imagine a tiny lil garter snake in your garden

-unlikely but would be so fantastic

•Rope

-climeable

-please Mojang we need this so badly

-imagine the ships? The bridges? The bell towers and everything?

-super easy to add, just reskin vines and add a string crafting recipie

•Butterflies and Moths

-Bflies could be a unique mob to flower forests and friends with bees

-if moobloom is added they would all be BEST BUDS

-get it "buds" ahahaha

-help with flower polination but just gives a TON of life to flower forests

-We literally have lanterns in minecraft why do we NOT have moths? Such a cool aesthetic addition.

-helps fill both the daytime and nighttime sky

•Hummingbirds

-fourth member of BEST BUDS

-just soft baby

-i love birbs okay

-the only avian who does not work for the bourgeoisie

•Fireflies

-10 million of them please

-they give great hugs

-adds so much atmosphere to the night world

•Cheese

-We have milk

-We have, presumably, goat milk

-Quit being cowards and add butter and cheese

-Butter churn job block for villagers

-V funny bc they have no arms to churn with?? Oh well

•Seashells

-Something decorative and beautiful that could 1) liven up beaches and 2) have snails and crabs inside!

-Mojang plz do not add sand dollars to the game people already don't know how to tell if they're still alive before trying to take them home

•Whales

-WHALES.

-Imagine something as massive as the ender dragon but peaceful. Allows you to stand on them (idk how but make it happen Jeb)

-WHALE SONGS.

-Being so deep and far out into the ocean, and when the moon is high in the sky and you're sitting in your boat, you just hear the beautiful melancholy sounds of the whales in the distance

•Jellyfish

-Idk if y'all know this but the glow squid is a bad idea

-Dream buddy you fucked up, please use your influence to get in contact with Mojang and have them redo the vote. People would have so much regained respect for you if you tried to fix your mistake.

-Also why does a speedrunner get to tell millions of people what mob would bring more life to Minecraft? He's only playing the game for 5 minutes smh

-aNYWAYS

-Jellyfish could literally do everything the glow squid is going to and look better for it AND possibly be neutral instead of peaceful

•Orcas

-Not much to say but it would liven up the frozen water biomes a bit

•Penguins

-You already know why

-Imagine giving a new home to all the Club Penguin players? Legendary.

-Gender doesn't exist in Minecraft but we all know penguins would be hella gay

•Lobsters

-I think they would be cute

-You would NOT BE ABLE TO BOIL THEM ALIVE THANK YOU VERY MUCH

•Mermaids

-Never going to happen since passive mobs are generally real life animals but it would be so cool

•Otters

-they can hold hands

-brings life to the rivers

-super cute

•Frogs and possibly toads

-Swamp gods

-Absolute mad lads

-maybe grow from tadpoles

-wouldn't do much but needed

•Fairy Forests

-NOT Twilight Forests. Not a new dimension.

-Just gentle hidden groves in forests

-ADD FAIRY RING GENERATION TO MINECRAFT.

•Big cats

-Tigers, lions, bobcats, panthers

-Literally anything that could finally add a strong predator possibility to savannahs and jungles

•Zebras and Giraffes

-Shy and skittish

-cannot ride (their skeletal structure is NOT MADE FOR CARRYING HUMANS)

-Super cute tho, brings much needed life to savannahs

•Camels

-The better llama

-Can honestly just be a reskin

-brings much needed life to the desert

-spits and wears carpet and forms caravans like llamas

•Lemurs

-Easier to add to "jungles" than monkeys

-it would be really cool if we could just get a Rainforest biome

-King Julian stans awaken

•Red pandas

-we need them

-cuter than normal pandas and you can @ me

-better idea than sloths or koalas

•More Eldritch Horror Hostile Mobs

-Fun fact time

-The enchanting table language already has Lovecraftian references

-"phnglui mglwnafh cthulhu rlyeh wgahnagl fhtagn" is literally a quote from the enchanting table

-translates to "In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."

-Bet you didn't know that fun fact

-aNYWAYS add the Kraken to Minecraft instead of the shitty guardians. Thanks.

-imagine how cool it would be to see lights slowly extinguish as something terrifying and dangerous slowly moves in for the kill

-torches get extinguished and can get relit

-if not relit fast enough Something will be waiting

•Ice statues

-We have giant fossils and ship wrecks and cool stuff like that but please imagine finding a GIANT humanoid ice sculpture in an ice spikes biome

-maybe bones inside to show you that... That wasn't carved or naturally generated.

•Skeletons

-Not a mob but a decoration block

-Found in temples, mineshafts, and caves

-implied to be the remains of miners and explorers

-rare

-also implies that every skeleton you kill has some backstory since they look the same

•Constellations

-Not real world star maps but completely unique to Minecraft

-chance for LOTS of fun references

-The stars are your only companions in an apocalyptic world where you are the last of your kind

-Space is gay minecraft is gay thus minecraft space is gay

•Corn

-we have butter in this list

-we have salt in this list

-popcorn. That is all.

And finally

•Leeks

-mostly a joke but would be a cool crop

-100% a reference to Hatsune Miku the creator of Minecraft

DISCLAIMER: I recognize that mobs are added to Minecraft to serve a purpose within the game and that many of these mobs would be better in mods and such, but I also feel like many of these suggestions would really bring so much more life to parts of the game that really need it. Even if they don't serve a huge purpose, they would still be really amazing additions imo.

I would love to see the ideas and suggestions that other people have for what they want added to Minecraft, please TAG ME if you make a post like this, I wanna hear and read it!

[solastia]

Don’t Talk Back To Me

ONE SHOT

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader

Word Count: 2,002

Summary: The pet bird that you have overlooking your balcony shit talks me whenever I go out on my own balcony AU

Genre & Warnings: I don’t even know y’all. It’s Jin having yelling matches with a damn parrot. Fluff I guess. Occasional cursing because I have a potty mouth.

Notes: This idea has been floating around in my head since Bon Voyage. Enjoy. Someday I’ll get around to actually making something for Jin that isn’t crack lol. 

Getting his own place was quite possibly the smartest thing Kim Seokjin had ever done. 

His small one bedroom apartment was free of six other grown ass men bothering him for attention and treating him like he was their mother, and he couldn’t be happier. He finally had a place where he could cook what he wanted, decorate how he wanted, watch whatever he wanted. Hell, he could walk around naked and no one could stop him. 

He still had to stay in the dorms when they were really busy, but for now, he was allowed his little sanctuary. He settled into his brand new comfy couch that he didn’t have to kick off anyone to use. He turned on his television and watched some cheesy medical drama without a peep of complaints from anyone. Then he decided to really live it up and discard the use of pants. No pants in his bachelor pad. He really settled in and decided to not do a damn thing for hours.

Until he got the call to go into work. 

He sighed and looked at his discarded pants in disgust. The sooner he finished, the sooner he could come back and enjoy his alone time. 

Jin was furious. He’d bottled it all up at work since he couldn’t really scream at his boss. The company had once again screwed him over. Apparently, he’d received an offer to star in a promising drama, but the company had declined it without even asking him for his opinion. Sure, they were going to be busy during the filming, but other idols took the time to act; why couldn’t he? That’s what he wanted to do in the first place. But no, they’d rather keep him in the back of the BTS line. 

He got home to his new apartment and slammed the door, feeling a tad bit better as it closed with a nice bang. He then kicked off his shoes, smiling to himself as they sailed across the room. Next were the offensive pants being kicked into a corner. Jin stood in all his pantless glory as he surveyed his bachelor kingdom and debated what he needed next. 

A DRINK! 

He stomped to his fridge and pulled out the two bottles of Raspberry Soju that one of the boys had given him as a housewarming present. It was time to drink his troubles away. 

One and a half bottles of Soju later, Jin was feeling horribly hot. He was still angry, but he was fairly certain that heating up when you’re mad was just something that happened in cartoons. Or he would be fairly certain if he wasn’t so wasted. 

He needed to cool off, but he’d hadn’t gotten around to buying a fan yet. The outside air would have to do. Thankfully, it was one in the morning so there wouldn't be anyone around and he wouldn’t have to try to put his damn pants back on. 

He walked to the sliding glass door and opened it, the fresh night air feeling good already. He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly as he looked around from his balcony. Luckily the balcony was solid, so even if someone was walking around this time of night, they would simply see his top half and not get freaked out by the drunk, pantsless man. 

He was starting to feel his anger twindle into the more manageable emotion of resignation. He was still upset, but it seemed pointless to be. They’d never let him have his chance. 

He was just getting ready to head back inside and go to bed when he heard a...whistle? 

“Hello? Is someone there?” Jin asked softly, praying that no one would answer. 

“Peek-a-boo,” an eerie voice called out.   

“What the hell?!” Jin shouted, backing closer to his door in fright. 

“Peek-a-boo.” The voice said again. 

“Damn, that’s creepy as hell. Stop that!” Jin yelled, trying to find the person the voice was coming from. It sounded like it was on the balcony next to him, but he didn’t see anything but a blanket covered lump on a table. 

Jin peered at the lump closely. It could be coming from nothing else. Sure enough, the lump started to shake and the blanket slid off. 

It was a damn parrot. 

Jin breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing he needed was his new neighbor meeting him drunk and without pants. 

“YAH! I don’t care who you are. You don’t go around scaring people like that. Go to sleep, bird!” Jin yelled at the parrot as it flapped it’s grey wings as if to show off.

“Nighty Night birb!” It squawked.

“That’s what I said. Go to sleep and leave me alone.” Jin growled, wondering if he was going to have to listen to a parrot freaking out every day now. 

“Don’t do that! Don’t do that!” The parrot was screaming. 

“Don’t do what? I’ll do whatever I damn well please. I’m a man. A human. An incredibly good looking and famous one at that. So YOU don’t do that.” Jin grumbled at the bird who was dancing around looking very unimpressed with him.

“Gimme a kiss.” The parrot shouted. 

“Ah, even the animal kingdom can’t resist a kiss from Kim Seokjin. Here you go.” Jin sent the parrot one of his famous flying kisses with a smirk, laughing at himself and the ludicrous situation. 

“YUCK!” The bird squawked.

“EXCUSE YOU! I’ll have you know that many people beg for those kisses. Yuck, your face! Who asks for kisses from you, beak face?!” Jin began to lean over the right side of his balcony to get a better look at the parrot. Whoever trained this thing forgot to teach it manners. 

Jin gazed at the loud bird as he downed the last half of his bottle of Soju. He took enough shit from the humans around him, he didn’t need to take it from a bird too. 

“Listen, bird, you’re going to have to shut up. I’m going to go to bed now and I don’t want to hear you all night. I’ll file a complaint against your owner if you do.” He mumbled, leaning against the balcony for support as he felt the alcohol start to take over. 

“QUIET YOU CREEP!” The parrot screamed and Jin stared at it in disbelief. 

How dare a bird disrespect him! 

“Shut up!” Jin screeched.

“Fuck you bird!” it yells back.Obviously, it’s used to being yelled at.

“YAH, you damn bird. Don’t talk back to me! How dare you insult me in my own kingdom of no pants! I take too much shit at work to have to deal with you at home too. I want to act, but will they let me? NOOO. Will they let me sing? Here, we’ll give you one song and a couple of lines. I feel like they’re holding me back and it feels horrible. So you! You will not anger me in my own house. I will not take disrespect from something that probably tastes delicious roasted and covered in gravy. You hear me?” Jin yelled at the bird, it’s squawking fading as he blacked out. 

The first thing that Jin felt as he woke up was the pain. His head was pounding and his mouth was dry as the Sahara. All of his bones were cracking as he pushed himself upright. He ran a hand down his face and scraped at his eyes. He opened them gradually and looked around as they adjusted to the light. 

This was not his apartment. 

He took in the various knick-knacks and decor, everything pointing to this being a place where a woman lived. There were high heels at the door, a lovely flower display on the coffee table, even the blanket covering him was pink. Jin lifted it up and groaned in embarrassment when he saw his pantsless self. He was somehow in an apartment that wasn’t his, hungover and pantsless. 

“Hey there, you’re finally awake. Are you feeling OK?” asked a melodious female voice. 

Jin followed the sound to the kitchen, where an incredibly pretty woman was stirring something on the stove. He stared, trying to get his mind working to patch all the clues together. 

“I’m...OK, I guess. Uh, could you tell me where I am?” He asked tentatively, cringing at the thought that he actually got so drunk he’d have to ask that. 

“My place. I’m guessing you’re the one that moved in next door. You...ummm...were banging on my door, and then you couldn’t remember how to get into your apartment so I let you come in. You passed out almost immediately. You’re lucky I was able to drag you onto the couch. You are damn heavy.” She giggled, putting whatever she was making into bowls, and grabbing some water and aspirin. She placed everything in front of him with a sweet smile.

“I was not that drunk,” Jin mumbled, red-faced.

“Sweetie, you introduced yourself as Mario and asked to fight Birdo. I’d say you were pretty drunk.”

"He started it!”

She laughed and handed him a spoon. She’d made him some hangover soup, and it actually smelled amazing. He felt bad making this gorgeous stranger cook and care for him, but it tasted as good as it smelled. He moaned loudly at the taste, blushing when she smiled at him with a pleased expression. 

“I’m...sorry you had to deal with this. I don’t usually drink like that, I promise.” He muttered in between bites. 

“It’s OK. We all have our off days. You can finish your breakfast and borrow that blanket to get home with when you’re ready. I’m Y/N, by the way.” 

“Nice to meet you. Umm, I can’t think of any way not to make this sound rude, but please don’t tell anyone I was here. You didn’t take any pictures or anything right? I’m...fairly well known.” Jin asked softly, trying not to offend her.

“I think I’m gonna have a heart attack and die from not surprise!” She chuckled.

“Leave it to the parrot owner to quote Iago from Aladdin.” Jin laughed, smiling over at the woman as she giggled. 

“I just mean the entire country knows who you are. You think I’d let just any pantsless man into my home? I’m a fan of yours, Mr. Kim Seokjin. Not a crazy one, don’t worry. There have been no pictures or social media updates. Although Mario of Kingdom No Pants would be a great meme.”

Jin groaned and hid his face behind his hands as she laughed. 

“Sorry. I just...I was venting on your bird when I was upset last night. And I guess I drank too much. On the plus side, the venting made me feel better.” 

“Well, I’m glad Ricky made you feel better. I wish I could say he’d be there for all of your venting needs, but I’m just watching him for my Mom. He goes home tomorrow.”She told him regretfully, biting her lip. 

“That’s too bad. It was nice having something to argue with. I don’t know who I’m going to talk to now.” Jin sighs, catching the flap of wings out of the corner of his eye. 

“You can talk to me. I mean, if you wanted to. I’m a good listener, and I know more words than Ricky.” She grins. 

Jin clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck nervously. 

“Well, I do owe you something for taking care of me so well and even cooking me breakfast. How does dinner tonight sound? I’ll even wear pants.” Jin smirked as a deep blush graced her cheeks. 

“I’d like that.” She whispered, and Jin knew he was grinning like a fool.

He got up and headed towards the front door, careful to keep her pink blanket wrapped around him. He turned around when he reached the door and kissed her on the cheek. She slapped a hand over it in surprise as he smiled at her. 

“See you tonight. BYE RICKY!” Jin yelled at he opened the door. 

“GO AWAY! GO AWAY!” 

He might actually miss the squawking jerk.