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rodeoxqueen · 4 years

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Ever since I got this idea I haven't been able to stop thinking about Dante being a stripper cowboy 😳😳 Maybe smol shy S/O was dragged by her friends into a strip club when she caught the attention the attention of a certain red devil? 👀🌹 I have a mighty need for some Dante erotica, I'm sorry 😅

Howdy Howdy,

Partner, there’s no need to apologize. If anything, I’m sorry this request was sitting in my inbox for more than a week. I was watching as many male stripper movies as I could find to make this accurate. Here’s a fully written work to make up for the wait.

Part II is in the making, I couldn’t fit all that raunchiness into one chapter. For my male and gender-neutral readers, I’ll do my best to write inclusive installments that make you feel sexy and well-loved by this stripper cowboy. All readers deserve a lap dance.

Yours,

Rodeo

Can You Touch This?-Cowboy!Stripper! Dante/Reader-(PART I)(AFAB! READER)

Tags/Warnings: 18+, AFAB! Reader, Stripper!AU, Magic Mike!Au, Erotica, Minors Do Not Try It.

Read It On AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28256070/chapters/69242487

You were never one for large crowds, alcohol, loud music, and nudity. So what a mess you were in, your friends dragging you into a strip club.

It wasn’t your fault, they promised you were all going for a quiet dinner at your favorite restaurant. No loud noises, no crowds, and especially, you didn’t even know why you had to specify, no naked guys! That’s what happened at first. You went and blew out your candles on your cake at a nice place, but then things got weird. Your friends had got you thoughtful gifts, except one of them who promised to give it to you after another “surprise.”

They practically herded you to their car, blindfolding and ear-muffing you while giggling. After driving in some unfamiliar directions, you were pulled into a strange building.

So when you couldn’t hear your own thoughts due to the overbearing bass in the room you were in, you realized you should’ve known better. The blindfold and earmuffs were taken off and you opened your eyes to a neon-lit room with the most hard-cut abs right in your face.

“A strip club?! W-why would you think I’d want to go to a strip club?”

“Okay, first of all (Y/N). It’s a male strip club. Second, come on! I know you want to touch some diamond abs!” One of your friends exclaimed as they threw bills at one very tan and very oiled up man named Diego. The box from before landed on your lap, and you unwrapped it to find a giant stack of dollar bills.

“Now stuff them bills down some hottie’s pants!”

The orange thong-wearing male with the most defined quads you had ever glanced at winked at your friend and opted to dance on someone else. Clutching your drink, you swallowed thickly as other males who clearly went to the gym every other hour thrust their hips proactively at you.

Your friends had called ahead and bought the lot of you a table to the stage, much to your chagrin.

Luckily, your ability to disappear in a room, with your meek personality and small stature, came in handy in these situations. The tall and buff guys your friends screamed over seemed to prefer the company of the more extroverted and thirsty. While other tables farther from the stage had easy contact with the not-themed strippers, you were all confronted with the stage floor dancers.

“My god, how many themes do these guys dress in?” You squeaked as an entertainer dressed like James Bond (minus the clothes except for the bowtie and gun holster) ground on the stage floor.

“Not enough! Now make it rain, (Y/N).” Another friend demanded as she took another shot.

You made a noise as your hand was forcibly placed onto an eight-pack. You quickly threw a wad of bills at the man and ran off to the bar.

“I gotta go!” You panicked, speed-walking to the bar in your heels. Stomach quivering, you put a few bills down and asked for a stronger drink. Maybe you could pass out on the table and your friends would feel bad and take you home.

You sighed as you watched your friends have the time of their lives, although they noted your absence.

“First time?” The bartender asked, sliding your fruity drink to you. You fiddled with the napkin. A woman posed in the corner with the logo “Devil May Cry” to the side of her, all lined in neon pink.

“Oh!... Yeah, it is.” You mumbled shyly. You blushed at his blue-eyed stare. Luckily, he wore a collared white shirt so you could look at him without bleeding out of your nose. He was very handsome, with rugged features and slight facial hair. His stark white hair shined even in the dim lighting.

“Ah, could tell. Watched you get dragged in here.” He chuckled.

“I-I was tricked, first of all!” You exclaimed, tucking some hair behind your ear.

“It’s alright. Your next rounds on me if you stay a lil longer.” He winked, wiping a glass. A few other people came and went, requesting all sorts of raunchy-titled drinks. Despite that, he leaned on the table where you sat, making idle conversation.

“I’m Dante.”

“Nice to meet you, Dante. I’m (Y/N).” You impulsively stuck your hand out to shake and stilled at his strong and warm grip.

He whistled.

“Nice name for a nice lady. It’s your birthday right?” You nodded.

“What did you wish for?”

“Peace and quiet.” He laughed at that, gesturing to your friends who screamed and clapped at a dark-skinned stripper who ripped off his pants.

“With those friends?” He chuckled.

“They’re a lot more restrained. This is an exception.” You whined.

The conversation grew longer. You learned that Dante worked here with his twin brother Vergil. He loved pizza and strawberry ice cream, along with nice motorcycles. A total manly man, if you asked yourself.

You found a safe space talking to him since you didn’t have to look at nude guys with your back turned.

You were hoping to talk the night away until a similarly white-haired male with a serious glare rounded the corner.

Swiping back a few stray hairs, the esteemed brother Vergil knocked the smile off his twin’s face.

“You fool! Your shift has been over for some time now.” He snapped. Dante rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, this is old douchebag.” You giggled at his comment, quickly stopping when meeting eyes with the frigid twin.

“Have you been speaking ill of me? I will-” Dante threw a towel at his brother’s face before leaving the bartending station. By leaving, he jumped over the counter.

“Hey, (Y/N), nice talking to you. I’ll see you later.” The white-haired man left to the employee’s room.

“Alright-” You muttered. You’d sit, but Vergil’s cold glare prompted you to leave and rejoin your friends.

“Where were you? Chatting up the bartender?”

“Look at you. Being social in a strip club.” They teased.

After a few more dancers, you couldn’t help but miss the blue-eyed bartender with his quips and casual flirtiness.

Suddenly, the music and lights went off. The crowd stirred. Your friend grabbed your arm.

“Oh girl they’re gonna need a mop after this.”

“Ew!” You cried out. Your friends sang that one horribly sexual song from the radio. Something about parking a truck in a garage and about wet-

A shirtless DJ grabbed the mic.

“And now, for our next entertainer, we have the Legendary Lady Killer. Hold onto your panties and your wedding rings, you’re all in for the ride of your life.”

The lights were turned back on from back to front. On stage, stood a muscular man with a cowboy hat and shawl. His legs were perfectly framed by black leather chaps and boots. You turned as red as his shawl as you could see his formidable bulge from yards across.

His spurs clinked on the floor as people began to cheer at his physique. Your jaw dropped in shock.

White hair.

“Ladies, I got some questions for y’all.” He drawled, lowering his hat.

“Yes! I’m single!” Someone yelled from the back. He chuckled as others screamed with agreement.

“That’s nice ma’am. But really, I got three questions.” He made his way down the stage, his shadow covering your table.

He palmed his chest and abs, showing white chest hairs and slicked down muscles.

“Can you touch this?” Everyone screamed for yes. He tutted.

“No, no, no.” He waggled his finger. He spun and exposed his lush tush. He was packing it front and back and you blushed while putting your face in your hands.

His hands groped his own butt. Even with his giant hands, he still had more ass to spare.

“Can you touch this?” The screams grew louder. He waggled his finger again, wiggling his butt.

“No, no, no.” The crowd awed. He turned back around, a cocky grin on his face.

“Now, ladies.” He pointed to the crowd.

His palms groped the leather that concealed his huge package.

“Can you touch this?” Your friend threw a wad of cash at him, hitting him in the nipple. He stood unflinching.

“No, no, no.” He drew out each word.

“These are my laws.” Putting his hands on his hips, he rocked left to right, clicking his spurs.

“But I see a hell of a lot of lawbreakers here tonight.”

He shifted to walk around the chair placed behind him. He sat on it backward, legs spread to place his groin in the spotlight.

“And I don’t see a cop in sight.” He pointed at the DJ.

“Hit it!” Music blaring, he did his number. And boy, was the DJ right to warn you. Dante practically made sweet love to the chair, flipping his head back.

Hips circling and then pistoning the air, sweat trailed down his pecs.

You ended up throwing a few bills, hoping to avoid eye contact. It failed as he slid to his knees to the edge of the stage and crawled off the ledge onto your table. Like a preying tiger, he made his way over to you.

Thank god you had health insurance, your blood pressure was going off the charts.

Your friends lost their heads, throwing bills and screaming like banshees. But he wasn’t interested in them. His eyes preyed after your own, baby blues on an absolute beast.

“Wanna save a horse and ride a cowboy, pretty girl?” He purred as he traced your jaw. Your skin jumped as you internally imploded. This was was too sensual and people were watching, for goodness sake!

“(Y/N), if you don’t agree I will cancel your Barnes and Noble membership.” Your friend threatened.

“Come on, spare this outlaw some sugar?” You didn’t have a moment to think. Dante threw his hat on your head and carried you onto the table and to the stage.

“Oh my god! Oh my god!” You shrieked.

He ran hot. So hot. Your skin burned at contact with him, pressed up against his chest as he stood you in front of the chair he practically humped.

“Take a seat, lil lady.” You blushed at his sensual persona, not sure where the kind bartender and the suave cowboy started and ended.

Obediently, you turned the chair around and sat with your ankles crossed. Dante tutted in disapproval.

His hands lingered by your legs.

“May I?” He asked. You shook your head slowly, feeling his callused hands on your thighs. He firmly spread your legs and stood over you on the chair.

As if that wasn’t enough, his arm muscles bulged and twitched as he ripped off his leather chaps. He ripped the chaps. There were no zippers or velcro straps. That was all him!

Your face a hair’s width from his abs, he gently took your hands and traced his pecs with them. He growled and winked at you.

Despite the one in a million situation you were in, you shrank at the many peering eyes of the other women and bar patrons. Your anxiety was seen by Dante, who tilted your head up.

“Hey, it’s alright. Just focus on me. If you’re nervous, just give me a purple nurple or something, alright?” You laughed at his idea of a safe word and nodded.

“Okay, Dante.”

And like that, it was like you pulled a trigger. Dante grinded on your form and explored his own peak-conditioned skin with your own hands.

You gasped as he led your hands down his front to his leather shorts. You couldn’t stop looking with widened eyes at his crotch. You had read erotica before, describing the male member in the throes of passion, yet this was the first time you had really been this close to anything like those erotic novels.

It was obscene! Why did it seem to get larger? How was he allowed to carry that thing around without a license?!

“Hey, eyes up here.” He teased as you snapped your head up.

“O-oh! Sorry.” You whispered. Your blood had rushed to your head and you had grown deaf to your friends’ yells of validation.

“Grab him by the buns!” One of your friends yelled. Dante turned around to make eye contact with her.

With a grin, he slid your hands to the back. What he didn’t expect was you to squeeze.

“Whoa now, kitty.” He purred. You gave a watery smile.

Suddenly, a water bottle was thrown at his head. With lightning reflexes, he caught it after it bounced off of him.

“Hey! Stage times’ over, you fucking show pony.” A short-haired woman with mismatching eyes called out. Dante scoffed.

“Just givin’ a nice lady some lovin’.” He argued.

“No, get off the stage, Dante.”

“Five more minutes?”

“NOW.” He sighed. Getting off of your lap, he kissed your hand that was resting on his thigh. Lord, if you died right now, that’d be fine.

“Glad to have this dance.” He flirted.

“Y-you too.” Taking your hand, he took you for another surprise and swept you off your feet. You squeaked as he handed you to another dancer on the ground. The club-goers cheered as dancers arrived, dressed like businessmen with briefcases.

You were promptly seated, head dizzy from everything that just happened. You watched as he took his leave as if he didn’t just cause you to get feverish from how hot he was. Your friend hugged you.

“Nice work! You were so lucky!” Another friend plucked the hat off your head.

“Ah! He left his hat!” You exclaimed as you took it from her hands.

“A souvenir.”

For the rest of the night, you held onto the hat and traced the red stitching. You never saw Dante for the rest of the night, his brother in charge of the bar service.

Finally, before the last round of dancers, you were tapped on the shoulder. You found yourself staring into much harsher blue eyes.

One of your friends threw money at him, which he growled at.

“I am not an entertainer. Well, not right now.” He explained. He handed you a drink with a napkin on the bottom.

“My buffoon of a brother said to keep the hat. Although, I’m not sure why you would.”

“I-”

“The drink is on the house. Good evening with you all.”

He walked off, and you took your drink. You realized it was the same one you ordered when you got to the bar.

“Hey girlie, take a look.” A well-manicured nail pointed to the napkin. You saw in red pen an arrow pointed to the folded corner.

You shakily opened it to reveal a series of numbers and words, along with a card that flitted onto the table.

Tonight was fun, wanna do it again? The card’s for a private dance, just call and ask for Dante Sparda. No crowds, only you and me. No Lady barking up my tree for appreciating beauty either-DS

A little heart with an arrow through its center was scrawled in a corner. You picked up the laminated card and saw it was for a free private dance. Your heart beat out of your chest.

Your friends laughed as you immediately stuck it in your purse, along with the note. The club closed and you were all ushered out. The night was pitch black when you emerged from the debauchery that was the Devil May Cry strip club.

As your other wasted companions were stuffed into the car, you sat shotgun to the sober and designated driver.

You were silent the car ride home, laying your head against the window. You thought about that white-haired flirt’s remarks and how gentle he was to you.

Waving and embracing your wonderful friends, you left for your apartment with all your gifts. However, the little slips of paper in your purse weighed the heaviest on your mind.

High heels in your hand, you climbed up the stairs home.

After closing the door, you slid down the wall and let out a pleased sigh.

“Best birthday ever!” You said to no one in particular.

#dante x reader #dante imagine #devil may cry imagines #devil may cry #stripper!dante

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bapydemonprincess · 4 years

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Grellrin and Sebamey for the ship asks!

Yoooou got it honey! 🖤❤️💖

Grellrin:

Who always wins when they play Trivia Crack: Ah yes, everyone doing this ask meme will get this reference, totally... >___>; I had to look it up, myself and it’s a basic trivia with friends thing on a mobile app. Uh, so, I think Mey and Grelle would both be neck in neck with this in a modern au... Although I think history stuff is more Grelle’s than Mey’s and Mey would be a bit more better at Entertainment than anything else. But when it comes to stuff like that overall they both are very good and both very competitive! However in the long run, both don’t like seeing their girlfriend lose TwT Its never fun and they don’t like rubbing it in for each other!

Who laughs when their partner trips on something: Uhhh, neither, probably, they are both big worry warts about each other when one has the slightest accident! They’d never laugh at each other!

Who would drop ice down the back of the other’s shirt as a joke: Er I can’t see either of them doing this really, maybe Mey once? But only if she and Grelle were very very close at that point and she knew it wouldn’t be taken badly! XD;;

Who spoils the ending of books/movies: Well they both TRY their hardest not to, but we all know both ladies are big blabber mouths if even a tiny winy hint of an exciting thing comes their way. XD It’s very much torture if they are watching something, but one of them has seen it already! But they DO love seeing the other’s reaction to said thing in certain points they know about and have been anticipating their lover reaching!

Who always posts a picture of the other as their MCM or WCW: YRHEYDTFUYG 🙈 another thing I had to look up boy howdy 😂😂😂😂 Since it stands for “Man Crush Mondays” or “Women Crush Wednesdays”, the latter would be used in this case, and I mean... well... duh, probably both! Though I think Grelle is likely more vocal about how much she loves her Mey Mey on social media than Mey. uwu (Mey likely uses insta acc. for it’s original purpose, to take pretty pics! But doesn’t do twitter really..)

Who eats the last piece of cake in the fridge before the other can have it: htjftuygiu I can see Grelle being the sweets hog more than Mey, she likes sweets on occasion, especially holidays and stuff, but Grelle loves them more! A guilty pleasure I think of the red head! And really, Mey doesn’t mind TOO much, she just sasses her a little! >:3 (Which sometimes leads to some interesting scenarios involving convos like “Oh, I’ve been so naughty haven’t I~? W-will you... be punishing me for this?” “G-GRELLE STOOOP!” “WHAT?! I must PAY for my crimes! Oh, please be gentle~” “UTDyktfuygiuh 🙈🙈🙈 ” 😂😂😂)

Who obnoxiously celebrates Monday Punday every week: (Wow... that’s a thing. An actual thing. Unbelievable. 😒 ) This is.. definitely neither girl’s thing. XD

Who makes loving hack posts on the other’s Facebook/Instagram/Tumblr/Twitter etc: Uhhh neither??? They are very loyal and sweet and loving and are NEVER that way to each other TwT (these questions really really don’t fit these two, do they 🙈)

Who has to beat their partner in every game: Again, neither girl is like that TwT

Who keeps their partner up half the night talking about random stuff: Well, I think this only applies on rare occasions when one- usually Grelle I think - has dealt with a bad day, and can’t get to sleep, and thus Mey Mey doesn’t MIND staying up and listening to her, until she likely wears herself out. ;w; BUT also maybe, more in canon verse, Mey might stay up all night and need to talk and just cuddle too, because of her past as “Owl”, and thus the nightmares she sometimes still has on occasion, so she can’t get sleep. 😭

Who eats too much garlic and tries to kiss their partner anyway: jyfygiuhoij I can only see this weird idea happening if one of them is like drunk a bit and they’d had maybe a meal with garlic bread and they are all lovey dovey and maybe also wanna thank the other for the meal and date!! XD But I can’t choose, because they both are silly, cute drunks, probably. >w< (Mey just gets there FASTER ;3 )

Sebamey:

Who always wins when they play Trivia Crack: Sebastian probably is better overall at such games, but he never EVER rubs it in with Mey Rin, and finds himself going a bit overboard with praise when she does win XD He’s such a sweet dork.

Who laughs when their partner trips on something: Definitely neither in this either! If Sebastian actually ever trips (which is RARE), Mey Rin is way too full of WORRY to laugh!! And if Mey Rin trips, Sebastian is VERY quick to scoop her up and make sure she’s alright!! ;w;

Who would drop ice down the back of the other’s shirt as a joke: Again MAYBE Mey Rin would try, she’s a bit more childishly whimsical and prone to enjoying tiny little pokes at her love, but only ONCE or TWICE >w>;;

Who spoils the ending of books/movies: Definitely neither with these two, they LOVE seeing each other’s reactions to things!!

Who always posts a picture of the other as their MCM or WCW: ykutgiyuhoi I definitely don’t think either are into this, unless pressured online to do it by friends XD Since Sebastian is definitely a very private guy unless its things like opinions on media and politics, he probably WOULD only do it once, and obviously it would be Mey >w< He loves his girl! (Again like with the Grellerin answer, Mey’s not into this stuff either!)

Who eats the last piece of cake in the fridge before the other can have it: As I cannot see a human Sebastian even being into sweets that much at all, it’s likely obviously gonna be Mey! >w< (”Oh my, wherever could that last piece of cake gone that Agni specifically gave to us, hmm?” “Uh- Um... I-I dunno..” “Oh? Are you suuure dearest? You have been going through some cravings lately, and you did eat most of the cake in the FIRST place..” “I- I... Ohhhh, Sebastian!!” “Oooo, dear oh dear, my little Mey has been a naughty girl, whatever shall I do~?” “S-Seb... Seb-! N-No! No not the sides! NOOOO!!! HEEEHEHEHEEEE~!!!” )

Who obnoxiously celebrates Monday Punday every week: Well, I’m sure we know by now who would REALLY, TRULY be into such a ridiculous thing...Pffft, but let’s see if the stupid dork GETS AWAY WITH IT WITHOUT MEY SHUTTING HIM UP EVENTUALLY. >:3

Who makes loving hack posts on the other’s Facebook/Instagram/Tumblr/Twitter etc: Neither would be into that!!

Who has to beat their partner in every game: Again, neither! They’re too soft for each other to be even a little mean like that!

Who keeps their partner up half the night talking about random stuff: Again, likely Mey in this too, in modern au and canonverse. Especially since I can totally see human Seb as a bit of a light sleeper, bordering on insomniac. TwT He’s just like that!

Who eats too much garlic and tries to kiss their partner anyway: Uh, probably a drunk Mey Mey, and Seb doesn’t really mind since his girl is too cute when drunk OR sober! >w<

#Ship questions #ugh I'll try to find a better thing for these ships next time #but hope you like these anyway dear!!#thanks for sending this!!#💖💖💖💖#Grellerin #Grellrin #Sebamey #grelleswife

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alkcomics · 7 years

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Only since @lucyinbookland tagged me <3

Not tagging anyone but feel free to do at your own pleasure

NAME: Alan

GENDER: is a social construct government conspiracy

⭐ SIGN: Sagittarius (my birthday’s on Thursday, actually)

HEIGHT: I’m going to put 5′1″ but we all know that’s a lie

MIDDLE NAME: Louis, I guess

PUT YOUR ITUNES ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST 6 SONGS THAT POPPED UP?

1. Carballessas - Milladoiro (lol @thegorgonist)

2. Bedside Table - Bedhead (this is on my F-ST playlist)

3. Exodus (Noah’s Ark 2001) - Boney M. (have you got your daily dose of Afro-futurist disco yet?)

4. The Body and the Brain - The New Trust (not my favorite song by them, but honestly: what a good opening lyric)

5. The Flowing Bowl / Maire Breathach’s #1 / The Doon / The Mason’s Men - Solas (I listen to and play a lot of Irish fiddle tunes)

6. Push the Eagle’s Stomach - Man Man (I think they sprung from Danny Elfman’s forehead)

GRAB THE 📓 NEAREST TO YOU AND TURN TO PAGE 23. WHAT’S LINE 17?

"while away the waiting. Independent of what happens and what”

is line 17, but the full sentences are much better:

“I would like my life to leave after it no other murmur than that of a watchman’s song, of a song to while away the waiting. Independent of what happens and what does not happen, the wait itself is magnificent.”

Alain Badiou quoting Mary Ann Caws’ translation of André Breton’s Mad Love in The Century, which I keep on my desk at work to read when I feel the oppression of the office environment crushing my skull.

EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU?

Don’t think so but boy howdy have I written more than my fair share of bad songs/poetry about other people.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR 🎸?

I’m more of a headbanging sorta’ guy.

WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH?

Everyone on the desimalemodels Tumblr blog hot damb

WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE?

Yelling; babytalk

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? HOW ABOUT ALIENS?

”Believe” is an interesting word. I don’t believe in the sense that I think they are real, but I do believe in that I like to entertain the idea at certain times to make the world a more whimsical place. A friend in high school read my palm once, and she told me that I was a “new soul” -- one that had no previous incarnations. I don’t necessarily believe in any truth in palmistry, but I like to entertain the idea that what she said about me is true sometimes because it is an interesting way to look at the world around me.

DO YOU DRIVE? IF SO HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED?

Yes. Nope.

Well. Speaking of Irish fiddle tunes...

The day before my license test, I was backing up (<5mph) to leave my teacher’s house after my violin lesson and lightly bumped the bumper of the next student’s pickup, the nose of which was peeking into the driveway. No harm done to the pickup, but the family minivan (now RIP I think?) got an absurdly large dent in the back from it.

WHAT WAS THE LAST 📓 YOU READ?

Professing Selves: Transsexuality and Same-Sex Desire in Contemporary Iran (Experimental Futures) by Afsaneh Najmabadi. Really interesting anthropological look that tries to not project Western notions of gender and sexuality on traditional or contemporary Iranian culture.

DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF PETROL?

*Petrichor, and yes

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW?

Suspiria -- which I’m seeing on Friday at the Northwest Film Center uncut in 35mm. SO. STOKED.

WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER HAD?

I mountain biked down the Great Divide for ~3000 miles and didn’t even get a flat tire. A few days after I came home, I biked solo up Dog Valley Rd. to Crystal Peak to mine some shiny quartz crystals (because fuck yeah, dude). Dog Valley Rd. is very pitted and rocky in places and a bit steep -- I’ve got no need for speed, so I was riding my breaks the whole way down after my expedition. Even so, at about 15mph the rocks jostled my gear enough to throw the bag from my anything cage into my front wheel. I went endo and landed hard on my drawing-arm elbow, getting a cm-deep incision from a rock in there. I sustained no nerve damage (FUCKING luckily -- this was two weeks before I was going to launch F-ST, and I was about a millimeter away from never being able to draw again) and really, the scar’s not even that cool.

But I did get some shiny crystals!

DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW?

I can’t stop listening to 16 Horsepower, specifically the song “For Heaven’s Sake.” This band has a bit too much Jesus going on for my usual tastes, but I get real devil-posessed-streetcorner-preacher-in-a-fuckdup-supernatural -Southern-Gothic-setting vibes from them that keep me going. Anyway, “For Heaven’s Sake” is basically “a guy gave me a boner but that’s bad so now I’m just Gay For Jesus(TM)” and you can’t tell me otherwise. Also, at ~3:06 in that track, David Eugene Edwards does the best fucking Brian Molko impression saying the lyric “he’s my high heaven.” Coincidence? I think not.

ALSO, this rad 80s song by Indochine about being gender non-conforming: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWtiCRntA-E (@thegorgonist do you know this one??)

DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST ANYONE WHOSE DONE YOU WRONG?

*Who’s, and that’s not my style. I prefer to write thinly-veiled ~600 page sci-fi horror comics about them where they’re actually the good guy and I’m not involved in the plot at all.

Sigh.

IN A RELATIONSHIP?

Yes’m

#and he graciously listens to me rant about my 16 Horsepower obsession/conspiracy theories #feanwijfenjwfneuwafnaew fepuaiafewpu #F EAW FJEWAJOPWAFJ AW #I just found out they wrote a song with Noir Desir and mFAENKFLEW FWA #synchronisity man #makes the world a more whimsical place

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airoasis · 5 years

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

You already know i’ve been doing various pondering lately in well I I just don’t believe i’m cut out for the priesthood I think it is time you and that i faced facts you want us as priests in the nation if now not the first-rate safe haven sub percent what i’m speakme about don’t you yeah yeah I believe I do i’ll be off then come here right here would you love a peanut peanut you stroll me down for me a peanut god do go oh sorry stated go to mattress you capable right here we go one two three howdy Dejan Oh the airhead oh wait no what good once more yeah wait we get this kind of tender again again go on again Duggal simply sit down Oh Ted am i able to open a further window and the arrival calendar first very well then however consider you’re simply allowed to open latest window Oh Shepherd great stuff oh god Ted cannot open the opposite two no Dugan Ted I can not wait to find out what’s behind tomorrow’s one I bet it is a donkey or anything all correct so you’ve gotten transformed out of your initial prediction places of work once more rude howl it can be sitting on a shared wasn’t God Almighty do go the place do you get these matters you realize scorching i’d say it can be mainly just a lovely angel what would you say is in the back of you Marvin to father Jack well who knows yes woman’s neck oh sure Father sure message understood God Almighty Dougal depart the calendar unless the following day one other yr long past it’s rough to feel isn’t it I imply what’s it all about Dugan well it would not relatively have a narrative Ted you comprehend it’s practically football and stuff no dougela I mean lifestyles you already know your slave away attending to the needs of your parishioners and what do you get a one-approach ticket to Palookaville you already know I regarded within the replicate this morning and i noticed a middle-aged grey-haired man staring again at me who used to be that me do lady oh yes of direction it is just that I acquired a Christmas card the previous day from father Jeff laughing he’s in Montana he makes $50,000 a 12 months and 2000 and guidelines exquisite how does he manipulate that I do not know a lap dancing or whatever and then there is father buzz Dolan in Canada he is his own exhibit on cable and that i hear he’s landed a significant section in the new Bond movie all began for him when he received that golden cleric award let’s be quality to be noted are you aware what i would love about being noted people listen to you they hearken to what you have to say and i’ve a lot to say what about when you are doing all of your sermons Ted folks take heed to you then don’t they i do know dude I imply individuals I appreciate you see you simply talked right across me there even you don’t hearken to me that is not reasonable well I do are you looking ahead to Christmas i am indeed mrs.Doyle a great quiet Christmas that’s what I need a high-quality quiet Christmas with no exceptional incidents or unusual individuals turning up that will go well with me all the way down to the ground a excellent quiet common everyday Christmas oh there is the door i’m sorry is this mrs. Reilly’s condominium no ed that’s it simply down the avenue oh thanks very a lot who used to be that Ted simply any one we’re looking for Riley’s residence she had a child together with her for a moment I thought a person had just left it on our doorstep cut Ted could you assume what would have happened if she’d left it with us sure we’ve been watching after and everything and coming into all types of hilarious jams the entire factor would were very very humorous well it would not have been that humorous Ted simply no and the drinks simply come out right here now you’ve got already punched in your choice from milk and sugar so all of the work is taken out of it even the ultra-modern girl plenty of time for scheming sympathy glitch and can entry espresso scorching chocolate or Horlicks yes tea master particularly takes the distress out of constructing tea good what do you feel possibly I just like the distress for mrs.Doyle good inspiration Ted fragrance is the superb lady reward isn’t it yes that is why God invented perfume so you don’t ought to put any notion into whatsoever I used to stick Jack ultimately oh they’ve bought this exceptional pressed head the place that you would be able to put humans who do not wish to go searching they are able to just stay there and have a laugh now we have on no account heard of that but there different individuals there are quite a lot of individuals lifeless you can be pleasant fragrance you think you would be capable to scent it very exactly how we all know good we’re within the Hindi placing around near ladies secret things it’s justice seem this way oh no more Underpants I mean I did not need so many forms of Underpants huh I mean what did the parade round of them looking in mirrors all the time we obtained slightly lost in the retailer that is why we’re right here gonna bit misplaced here I think that’s why you are here as good misplaced sure right yeah that’s it that is it examples you understand how over here it is eire’s largest Landry section I realize yeah I read that somewhere the quality suggestions for us to get out of right here as quickly as possible you already know for clergymen striking across the freely part sure I see what you imply yeah let’s try this manner we have now been here I do not forget these brows from the first time circular all of them look the equal to me no no these ones have double padding and the black clay many times lonely factor to reduce the physical activities and extra-strength straps in the event you move by a bra with a center art support and single pilot and the flight lace outline then I consider we’re on the right monitor any individual’s coming to see you good no longer in view we were watching for the bathroom so we desired in here by mistake it can be big it’s Ryan’s largest lingerie part I realize like that is the quandary we have now 8 priests placing across the lingerie part with one or two of us that’ll be embarrassing but cost we’re speakme countrywide scandal Oh the heels appear the equal right very first thing do not panic we’re on this factor let’s try to get out of it okay Billy i would like you on point for the clearly father D can you take up the back let’s go and hold it quiet I damage any one possibly i’m simply going crazy laundry part goodbye i don’t feel this sauce you’re taking a leisure photo for the correct you go on factor but anticipate this form of thing of the priest best two weeks ago a good phase is to send me off to some bloody cat oh is not it i am gonna make you a promise sooner or later you and i we’re gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the garden it’s a little bit bit only a reminiscence are you able to maintain onto that idea okay can you do that for me as well it can be my stupid fault for messing with the brass go forward slowly sluggish you down listen we’re a crew stick collectively there is the exit thank God God seem at all these people they definitely see us popping out perhaps if you actually buy some Underpants then it wouldn’t seem so unusual they’re ladies’s Underpants attention who’s bought essentially the most boring voice wash off the fanatics who’s received the most boring voice this set had been you asking for a dramatic entertaining voice no Newton said of boring he desired an boring voice if that’s the case you ought to excuse me for my impetuous interruption hear that is what we will do what is going on on I consider Ted has a plan no I imply most likely anyway after the laundry section ladies and gentlemen might you please deliver your purchases to the checker because the steward selected garments what’s incorrect Google took three lads pointing at a stare at head disappointing hi I’ve received to do with Christmas oh honey how there’s nothing in the Catholic scandal supplement about the lingerie episode I feel we acquired away with it hello Craig Holland parochial residence father Ted Crilley speakme k Tom McCaskill right here whats up Tom how are you and the place are you you left a brand new north and hurry i’m in room oh when are you coming back when things have died down slightly I would ought to head off to South america for a whilst you recognize she’s going to make a bloody fuck about it ah no that is now not fair catch up with you about that Lourdes factor looking a wee bit dodgy for that reason I washed it just let me discontinue you proper like correct there tom that money used to be just resting in my account anyway Ted we owe you a huge want forgetting the lad Joseph’s difficulty the opposite day we would such as you to have a golden cleric the golden cleric you’re not severe i’m lethal serious Oh God i don’t think worthwhile once I consider of all of the different priests who bonnet you deserve it you managed to have but a very difficult hindrance and avert yet another rip-off when the church father bully in the rest of the boys will drop the award over to you the next day oh and is the reps are about this register em is there any style of money prize with – i am afraid now not tag however somewhat strapped for cash here at the second anyway see you quickly doodle wonderful information you’re getting married common is that a joke yeah no i’m being given a golden clerical struggle without doubt exceptional it can be not every day you went into Wars who’re no father you can’t have an award why no longer award a massive sure there you’re great balls all image doodles take a image Oh Ted am i able to stay up day after today night time to observe the dreaded movie oh no no no no the final time you watched a scary film you had to sleep in my bed i would not mind but wasn’t even that horrifying film come on no Ted a Volkswagen with a mind of its own long past mad if that is not horrifying I do not know what’s don’t it is a kid’s film when you cannot care for that how on the earth are you gonna be in a position to take a movie a couple of burglar who runs into individuals’s houses and kills all people is that’s that what this one’s about sure if you wish to make reward your possess age this movie the present day gossip or without difficulty have somewhat of fun oh please chat again and converse to veggies you wish to have to understand right I acquired the presentation case for my award our exceptional ed outstanding I feel i will put it right here over the creaky floorboard any robbers got here in and tried to rob my award will hear them only a few pleased to get this award you are aware of it let me no longer be one of the vital top priests within the country after I get my award all correct zero pronouncing there i’m some of the prime intent within the country did you hear that I stated there only a 2d in the past I did yeah well it is now not earlier than time father I continually proposal you have been one of the vital first-class clergymen within the country thank you very a lot mrs.Doyle one of the crucial excellent or perhaps the quality just right one mrs. Doyle actually would you say i am the quality priest within the country on the second you don’t leave out new country simply say so I truthfully won’t intellect i would say you perhaps the 2nd pleasant no it’s all proper i’m no longer the quality priest in the country i am honey the 2d first-rate there may be anyone better than me it seems that father I was just considering of these monks working very bad areas oh yes of path these lads father Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the likes is a Protestant man all proper oh first-rate so Protestant is better than me proceed this i’m not the exceptional i am just 2d best it sounds as if the golden cleric is a runner-up prize well i’m so sorry surely i am just an fool undoubtedly I cannot even say Mass safely father don’t take it again that’s what you mentioned you stated i am no longer the high-quality peaceable within the nation that is best just want to recognize the place I stand without doubt now i’m gonna must jack it in priesthood i will write a letter to Bishop Brendan requested me for early retirement and maybe after I go which you could ask the opposite priest father Peter ideal the best priest to come here and you could work for him due to the fact that he is definitely this kind of nice priest welcome to priest chat bank if you are beneath 18 or no longer a priest please cling up now you desire to communicate concerning the Pope’s seek advice from to Mexico say sure now if you wish to speak about being vaguely sad but now not being competent to determine exactly why say yes no wait yes yes hey whats up no is that being vaguely unhappy however no longer being equipped to determine exactly why no this is easy methods to spoil the news of a loss of life we have been just speakme about methods I say it’s first-class to just get it over with rapidly your husband’s lifeless and he’s not coming again get used to it sure but frequently a few little recommendations support like consider how your husband used to love a good snort my predicament is that I should be on top of the world on account that i have been given an award but the fact of the topic is that i know this is a priest best line you recognize why Wow there at the same time you have been out to your walk we had a phone name I suppose you had been presupposed to do a funeral today utterly forgot about it’s all proper father McGuire said he three it is no use i am just so occupied with Christmas I can’t sleep do you on no account get to sleep like that i’m just writing my speech for tomorrow god it is superb thus far what do you place in speeches you told me thank each person wouldn’t you no no longer in this case Dougal you see I received this war to my possess initiative and rough graft so there may be no one else to thank him besides myself that is a good notion i will thank myself Wow is that the speech no he is simply the notes quite see right here for example it is a record of people who’ve relatively fucked me over down the years father Jimmy Fennell he relatively wishes taking down a peg or two and father PJ coward oh wait a minute he’s on the wrong list he must be beneath Liars alternatively than twats last I got a chance to shine to stand out to be recognized I appreciate it no dude I imply cognizance of my my knowledge of my achievements all correct and what achievements of those hope Larry Duff’s coming capture my tremendous second I shall supply him a name hope he makes it Larry’s significant phony frustrated he loves award ceremonies oh wait no he is on vacations well i’ll disturb them anyway i’m gonna try and get to sleep one more time that is little need Dooley she’s a good way to go to sleep simply exceptional empty your head of all pots i will supply it a go however I quite do not exquisite a lot of humans in the stable Ted it can be the one thing I did not expect do study to and open your presents I fully forgot concerning the presents first the calendar no offers I acquired any better than this you understand I used to be racking my brains seeking to consider what would mrs.Doyle really love for Christmas and then I thought whatever to take the distress of creating tea mrs. Doyle the times of housekeepers making tea are over we cannot live in the dead of night a long time you’ve got made your final cup of tea in this apartment if i know people the way I suppose I do she fairly loves that reward how do you know i know don’t consider I had observed those little pointers he left lying around the position gift present gift reward present reward rack off who could that be sermon is just not till – I’ve neglected the ceremony hover no no certainly not yeah have not modified a bit yeah rascal and also you seem at you you have not converted both what well what about the hair all right from the hair it is a it is a it can be a different shape colour colour colour of direction it it was once red brown blonde howdy there whats up there are you again I consider you told me all about it no why did you stick the ancient name and deal with within the the booklet you recognize especially the title very important that you simply write the title very very evidently i would love to inform however I are not able to relatively write you see one time final yr I used to be rollin with scissors and it fell and the near of the controls handwriting was once utterly severed father are you not going to introduce me to the brand new father all right rate of course absolutely i will inform you what see if which you can bet Godfather certain it could be some thing still dog supply us a are attempting father Andy Riley no father Desmond coin father George burn for the David Nicholson father chook ditch i’ll give you a clue ken Sweeney for his or her Neil Hannon father Keith : for the Ciaran Donnelly but their Mick McAvoy for the Jack White there Henry massive begging them for their Hank tree father Hiroshima Twinkie estate bubble braveness so johnny has a poppin father Luke Duke however they’re Billy funny father chewy Louie Papa John hoop fucker Harry Keitt Lynam extra nebula conundrum so the PB Stairmaster lifeless lips father Jemima rock Julie father Jerry twig father Sporto komodo for the Tuttle chest sure is that particularly did she get ah come on Ted you knew already yes sure of direction I used to be simply amazed that she acquired it in Wow good underneath an hour well done mrs.Doyle so todd todd todd todd todd they’re now Todd just right old Todd how you get down there Todd how are you fixed for a cup of tea Todd i might you put together a sizzling toddy Todd do you wish to have Todd anything at all todd todd what time is the ceremony Ted well Todd it is now not rather a ceremony i am certain to be just a very undeniable simple affair sure grandchildren about me i’ll be looking sir also won’t be ok so Oh appear dad what you love he knows salivate for them tell you i’ll alternate the dominant stick palace however sorry i am sorry what’s the title Shan Shan sorry i don’t have got to get into it nevertheless it just we want you there on the day you already know a 2nd or two and i’m day that is here any one organized around right here do not talk to me you don’t talk that situation over there who loves when the rhythm kicks in and the track displays itself via the counter rhythm which is there be aware of what you able ok i know first tougher tell me what you see this hi who’s Ted and who’s Duggal hello i am Ted and that is doogal there i am doback he’s useless he is over his dead father why does he want you with the aid of the stage he he ought to be me dick man good day i am clearly a Shinto the golden cleric thank you very so much Ted have you ever ever notion about doing any television work had crossed my intellect leave out jeren agent no i’m going to inform you what I give this ad name nonetheless wonders for me well then correct thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks just right afternoon and welcome to the fifth annual presentation of the golden cleric each 12 months the Catholic Church offers an award to a priest for exceptional achievement this yr’s winner is anyone who’s overcome controversy prior to now when rumors of economic irregularities no no no however following a thorough investigation no formal fees have been ever made once more so he was simply resting in my account authorities had been stressed via what they saw as weird irregularities in his debts however he’s overcome all these individual setbacks oh come this yr’s golden cleric females and gents I provide you with father Ted Grilli who does not discontinue i am on it instead of sticking with scores in public good good good good hi-yah I see some familiar faces right here today some welcome some now not so welcome looks as if I’ve had the final chuckle and quite a lot of persons who relatively failed to consider I had it in me to come to be a great priest well what I say to these men and women is seem at me now however eventually I got out of his headlock and now where are you father a person hunter or offer you some pygmies in the South Seas and where am i right here accepting a golden cleric award for being a top priest he thought it could be a great proposal first-class fun to pour water on this young rookies mattress however of path 30 years later the smile has been very so much swiped a father Barry Kiernan’s face and now we transfer on to Liars follower Peter Sorensen farther Desmond Cairns recollect him good executed first-class speech Ted it went well did not it tell me you as wandering round in there for three hours sure it is ireland’s biggest land resection I understand all right oh no mr.Doyle that you could put that away and loosen up sir we’re gonna check out the tea master how does it work Ted what am i able to no longer simply put the milk in no you see what you do is solely leave the cup there slide them any such cartridges right here when the teachers comes available in the market snatch so that is splendid sure good understand that I’ve won an award i can hardly ever be seen consuming tea that’s just been made in a pot the notion it just seems too good to be genuine watch the catch i’m sorry father your voice is just so boring i could not pay attention well do you might have an tremendously boring voice I was just announcing what is the capture sorry didn’t get it there both I imply enthusiastic about the tea master factor there ought to be some style of a seize oh oh there’s no capture no watch this see superb father there may be any one there there is without a doubt any person like their father what do woman put on that track well on the song that makes father Jack stand up what sorry about that Jack likes Assad to stand up and up within the music comes up equal-same it is only a bit fun sure well we we style of idea father Jack was jumping via that window slightly too most of the time that’s why we put in the plexiglass anyway my speech what did you suppose of us all of us have a seem on the Christmas movie yeah and now a special improved Latin Mass from san martin’s cathedral in dublin oh satisfactory mass god I just remembered I imagined to be doing anything terribly essential and the item I was once supposed to be doing I just remembered I’ve bought a telephone this fella on loss of life row that I befriended recently since it is been performed tomorrow for mass homicide so you understand i might say he is lovely low on the moment God Almighty did you do it oh sure no yes do you need any support speakme to him because he might get hysterical and crying and i might say pull your self together man all right there may be been a giant accident so I will have to go to I’ve got a cellphone call there where you have been all somewhere else correct so we’re now not off saw father anxious you’re coming too I would get you carry ah no residence there was once a nice mass Alton Cosby is doing us i’m a large fan of his he gives good mass but he rather he particularly knows the best way to work the altar seem at that chalice work easy oh good we’d be off so see you quickly bye thanks for coming to the award ceremony where I obtained my award now on BBC one the director’s reduce of Jurassic Park with further dinosaurs good that was once a fantastic day God was once lifeless it used to be a great day amazing fun i would say it was one of the vital excellent Christmas days ever Duggal I was once being sarcastic all right hey so was i who’s that fellow huh dogs I failed to invite him did you yeah no that’s right I barred you from inviting persons to the condo after that tramp stayed for per week wasn’t a tramp Ted that was the high Minister of France no dooble he just lied to you Todd sincere i don’t keep in mind him in any respect who the hell is he might be he had a nickname like you know Terry Wogan what you imply that’s his actual name anyway do not worry about it h ere you be long past in the morning look at you lying in there like a giant agent well here all of us should not all the plenty just like within the old days they take into account the entire fun we used to have in the showers do you still do you continue to have the giant oil bushy arse fluffy bit of downy fluff ah God memories consider the time you old Mitch go to the diner live performance i couldn’t go considering I used to be recuperating from a enormous vehicle accident did he exhibit you the scar there you might be see that reward ship there got Jesse’s and that series of tiny little indentations all alongside me inner thigh the run the entire approach up to me developing see the great food ah Tara’s half earlier 1:00 in the morning you go off to sleep I was once just wandering round generally I can not sleep and i desire a excellent stroll to calm myself down you do not mind do you no no you do that every one right so excellent night time and blissful Christmas Ted God Almighty – i am not going out of this room unless the next day to come i don’t danger bumping into that weirdo bina snootiness you see them flip off the light earlier than you come up need you and please don’t watch why Mackenzie panic it can be a hazardous however my god the fact I suppose it can be secure to assert the burglar is undoubtedly in the avenue of nightmares Duggal I absolutely told you to not watch that movie Ted no I wasn’t watching a Ted I simply got here down to hold the milk round hey your holiness president Robinson well performed on everything mr.De Niro good well I adored you in Godfather too he is not going to be doing any further burglaries the place he is going Oh the place’s that good let prison sure of course sorry but sergeant tell me how did you know a lot about me i’m desirous about that myself anxious if that’s your actual name I already advised you it wasn’t how were you aware so much about father Crilley is this off the report of path good I wasn’t selridge just a few days in the past received talking to this ancient priest in a bar he was once a bit cagey in the beginning however just a few pictures of JD and he was singing like a chook the golden cleric they name it giving it to an ancient buddy of mine Ted Crilley met him on dolly mound strand as a listening a plan fashioned in my head we drank lengthy into the night time me pay in a direction him spilling his guts on a subjective asserting a further tanta cruelly you bought a mane a white hair kinda like it get on a mule wet the mattress ascend columns significant furry yes the longer he talked the better at intestine and ancient-timer named Jack Hackett and a negative unusual fool boy after that all I wanted used to be the correct costume priest I mean ye yeah that’s a long story i was such as you a completely normal bathroom commonplace run-of-the-mill cleric then I received first prize within the country west meet priest to the ear competition the bet it went to my head after that I started hitting the altar wine too hard going easy on men and women in confession getting backhanders for doing quicker masses all I wanted was trophies and prizes however the person who particularly acquired me rough used to be the golden cleric no no no today what I used to be going to ask you as you are a priest I mean why did you take the other priests clothes i don’t know it used to be simply going our way good I’ve got dangerous information for you so referred to as Tong juice that wasn’t off the file i am utilising that as evidence in opposition to you ah that is fully unfair take them away thanks sergeant they may be profitable this father you both should be very proud of yourselves no longer one of these dangerous day in any case i might say it can be a useful one thing you have pricey mrs.Doyle huh state-of-the-art technology it’s exquisite is not it it is indeed and thanks once more father it’s the first-rate Christmas gift ever what concerning the tea laptop oh yes i’ll go on crank it up right now no i do not just like the sound of that in any respect i’m sorry mrs. Doyle we’re simply gonna ought to get it constant oh no father don’t please what father i like the whole tea making thing you understand the playful splash of the tea is it hits the bottom of the copper trail of including the milk and watching it settle for a moment before it filters slowly down through the cup altering the color from darkish brown to a lighter brown perching an not obligatory jaffa cake on the saucer like a proud soldier standing to awareness beside a huge cup of tea oh simply believe father don’t forget the entire great times we had once I used to make the tea tea mom you’re right mrs.Doyle T out of laptop is like milk out of a youngster’s bottle the youngster does not need one other bottle he desires it out of his mom’s make us each a fine common cup of tea correct your father and don’t you worry it’ll be tremendous superb bloody hell do you know Dougal priesthood it’s now not about awards and glamour it can be about tough graft and attending to the non secular needs of your parishioners you recognize that Tunxis fella that would were me rather that explains so much Google i don’t think he picked up on what I supposed there I would were a bad priest you realize i am gonna be lazy smug now not giving a damn about the wants of my parishioners Ted it is mrs.Kill Cody she wants you to do one of those remembrance masses i am nothing you understand doodle i am sorry about my recent silliness you recognize you deserve this award as so much as me particularly thanks Ted that’s fine thanks very much just leave it oh you wager higher I think yeah and my name on the plaque we won’t bother changing that all correct I i do know the awards mine and that’s good enough for me yeah there’s no gonna have a bat you already know help me relax after the day ok what are you doing simply having a bit of of a laugh .

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batterymonster2021 · 5 years

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"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/a-christmassy-ted-christmas-special-father-ted-dead-parrot-2/

"A Christmassy Ted" | Christmas Special | Father Ted | Dead Parrot

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costcohotdogslut · 6 years

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Updated

November 2013

It was just another day at the Palm Woods, and Kendall was, once again, bored out of his mind.

These days, it seemed like Kendall was struggling to find ANYTHING to entertain him, and he could only go around his village talking to his villagers so many times (especially since him and Flurry weren’t on speaking terms at the moment), and he sure didn’t have it in him to do something like clean.

With a sigh, he launched himself up from the couch to see what the others were up to. He knew Logan had a study group over and that they were cramming for their upcoming final, but maybe they’d all be down to go and get some pizza for lunch? Kendall always liked making new friends, and if they were anything like Logan, then they were sure they’d be okay people.

With a rap of his knuckles, Kendall stood at their shared bedroom door waiting for Logan to answer. When the door finally cracked open, just enough for Logan to poke his head out and give Kendall a look of annoyance, Kendall spoke up.

“Sorry to bother you guys, just wanted to see what you were up to!” Kendall said.

“Studying… What do you want?” Logan responded, his question seeming more bothered than quizzical.

“Oh, well I was wondering if you guys wanted to get something to eat? It’s almost lunch time, and I’m sure you’d like to get some brain food to help with all that reading.” Kendall said.

“No. Like I said, we’re busy.” Logan barked back at him.

“Aw.. Too bad, well maybe next time?” Kendall responded, craning his head a bit to see three others guys sitting cross-legged with textbooks in their laps, who for some reason had nothing on their lower halves on apart from their underwear. Glancing down, he saw that Logan was sporting the same look. “Uh, is there a reason why none of you guys are wearing pants?”

“Goodbye, Kendall!”

As the door slammed with a loud bang, nearly hitting Kendall in the nose, Kendall stood at the door for a bit, wondering who he could ask to hang out next, and also trying to process what exactly he just saw.

As he was about to knock on Carlos’s door to see if he was home, he remembered him telling he had a few acting auditions he had today. They were pretty big ones too, apparently, and he had seemed to be pretty stoked about them.

It had been a few months since Big Time Rush was suddenly killed off (yes, yet another part of my fic describing what everybody’s up to dhsjfjsj), and things had definitely changed for all of them.

Carlos decided that he wanted to pursue acting, mostly because he had only had about two solos throughout BTR’s 3 studio albums and one Christmas EP, but also because he liked the idea of putting on a costume and getting to be a new person. Surprisingly enough, Carlos was actually good at it, and while he had gotten a pretty big break doing a TV musical, nowadays he was just doing low-budget holiday movies on basic cable, but he was happy with it, so Kendall couldn’t say anything.

Logan, who had never really been all that into the whole boyband thing, jumped right back into school, once again pursuing his dream of becoming a world-renowned neurosurgeon. This was expected, of course, since he had always said he’d go back to school if the whole being famous thing fell through, and he was easily able to adapt to the whole studying and homework and labs thing again. And when he had free time, he still liked tinkering with his different inventions, all of which never seemed to work as planned.

James… well Kendall hadn’t talked to James in a while. As soon as news broke out that Big Time Rush was on indefinite hiatus, the following morning new news broke out that James Diamond had signed onto an exclusive solo deal with Hawke Records. Within the first month, James had released his first single which was met with universal backlash. It was called amateur, horribly produced, and it sure didn’t help that he no longer had his three beautiful, much more talented band members to back him up and make him sound better by association. He also moved out of 2J immediately after signing his contract, and since then, nobody had had any contact with him.

And with Kendall… he still had no idea what to do with his life now. Going solo was never really an option to him/something he was interested in, and he had always told himself he’d try and go pro with hockey, but all that time he spent on the road, touring, performing, recording new songs, he felt like he was really rusty now and no longer at the top of his game. He was also never a fan of school, so he didn’t know what else to do. He usually just sat at home, playing video games and watching old reruns (he had just discovered The Hills and he and his mom were loving it!). Admittedly, he also did just binge on junk food and his mom’s home cooking all day (who was cooking a LOT more now that her baby boy was always home to appreciate it), and he had put on a tiiiny bit of weight (he was pretty skinny already, so that extra 20 lbs didn’t make too much of a difference he thought).

He always thought that being able to sit at home all day doing whatever you wanted sounded like a dream, but he was starting to realize just how boring and monotonous it can really be.

When all else failed, he usually just went downstairs, got a PINK smoothie, and lounged by the pool for a few hours, usually accompanied by the other residents of the Palm Woods, both old and new, and it seemed like this would be the case once again today.

Grabbing his phone and keys, he locked up behind him and walked down the hallway, hands in his pockets, so bored that he even decided to take the longer, more “scenic” route through the hotel which was only just a few more turns and doors.

As he was nearing the pool, he heard a little bit of clamor and what appeared to be a guy grunting. Poking his head around the corner, he saw the back of a man struggling to get his luggage through the door of what he recognized as Lucy’s apartment.

Getting closer to the stranger, he wanted to make sure that it wasn’t someone robbing her apartment while she was away on tour.

“Hey! You there!” Kendall semi-shouted across the hall, the unfamiliar figure turning around and greeting him with a smile and a glasses-clad face.

“Howdy Neighbor!” The stranger waved back, and upon inspection, Kendall deemed the guy safe. He wanted to figure out what he was doing moving his stuff into Lucy’s apartment, so he walked over to him.

“Hello! I haven’t seen you around here before, you must be new, so let me give you a warm welcome to The Palm Woods.” Kendall said, putting his hand out to shake, which the stranger met as soon as he put his bags down. “I’m Kendall.”

“Thanks! I’m Dustin. I just moved in today, so it’s nice to see a happy face around here.” Dustin responded.

“Need a hand?” Kendall asked, seeing the other male’s luggage laying around him, one suitcase overturned with clothes strewn all over, and Dustin eagerly nodded. “Sorry about earlier, if I came across too strong. It’s just that my friend Lucy actually lives here, and I wasn’t sure what someone was doing moving into her apartment.” Kendall said, helping the other male put everything back into his bags. “Still not sure, either.”

“Oh, right! Sorry, my bad, I really should have specified.” Dustin apologized, putting his hand out for another handshake. “Dustin Stone, I’m Lucy’s brother!”

“Oh! I’ve actually heard about you, Lucy mentioned you a few times before, but she never really mentioned you that often because… um.”

“The whole estrangement thing?” Dustin said matter of factly, but he didn’t seem to be mad at Kendall for bringing it up. “Yeah, I moved out of the house when I was 18, but me and Lucy reconnected recently and we’ve been great! I’m trying to get back on my feet, and since she said this place is for aspiring artists, she invited me to move into her apartment, at least until I can get established enough to get my own.”

“That’s awesome! And judging by that guitar case over there, you’re a musician too I assume?” Kendall said, helping him get the last of his bags into the cramped apartment.

“Totally! Haven’t really made a name for myself yet, but I’m hoping that can change soon.” Setting his bags down, his wiped his hangs and let out a sigh. “Thanks again for everything Kendall. You seemed like you were on your way to do something, so I don’t wanna hold you up. The rest is just a bunch of boring unpacking and clean up, so I think I got it here on my own now.”

“Yeah… well I don’t really mind helping you out! I didn’t really have any plans today, and I’d love to help a new friend out.” Kendall said, looking around him to see where to begin.

“Friend?” Dustin asked with a warm smile. “Well if you’re really sure, then great! Go ahead and start anywhere, there really isn’t any rhyme or reason to all of this.”

An hour had passed, and the two had gotten about half ways through everything.

Kendall had quickly gotten to know more about Dustin, and he was just such a cool person. He found out that he was 23 years old and an aspiring rockstar, and while he hasn’t done much but play small coffeeshops and some minor songwriting, he was eagerly awaiting his big break. He also got to know a lot of other things, too. His ideal weather is cold and rainy, his favorite flavor of sorbet is raspberry mint, he isn’t a big fan of the beach, his favorite show is Buffy The Vampire Slayer, his shoe size is 11 ½, and he’s farsighted. All of which Kendall found absolutely fascinating!

As he was sorting a box labeled “Prized Posessions”, Kendall picked up one of the contents of the box and let out a loud gasp, which made Dustin turn his head to see what happened.

“No way… you have the complete series of As Told By Ginger on DVD?!” Kendall exclaimed, his eyes wide as he held the holy grail in the palm of his hands.

“Yep! Limited edition boxset and all!” Dustin said, walking over to look over it with the blond.

“That’s SO cool! I used to love this show, we need to watch it some time!” Kendall said.

“Well,” Dustin said, putting one of his boxes off to the side. “Why don’t we watch it right now? We already put a pretty big dent in all this unpacking, aaaaand” glancing down at his watch – “It’s already gonna be 4. We can order in a pizza and kick back, my treat after all the help you gave me today. Know any good places?”

“Definitely, I’ll start giving them a call!” Kendall responded.

“Cool!” Walking over to his box of prized possessions, Dustin dug around until he finally found what he was looking for. “Hey Kendall! Not sure if you’ve ever watched it but I also have Braceface on DVD! Maybe we could binge it too?”

Upon hearing this, Kendall nearly dropped his phone.

It was nearing 10 o’clock already, and after devouring an entire large pizza between them, the two were starting the third season of As Told By Ginger. Lucy’s thermostat wasn’t working, so they were wrapped up under a blanket on the couch, since it was November and starting to get cold (by Los Angeles’ standards).

Letting out a sigh, Kendall glanced over at Dustin who lifted his glasses and was rubbing his eyes.

“Getting tired? Me too..” Kendall said, who was starting to yawn too.

“Yeah, I’ve been up since 5 this morning and all that unpacking didn’t help either.” Dustin responded, readjusting himself on the couch and going back to watching the screen, his eyes half-lidded and sleepy.

“I had a lot of fun today, though. It’s been kinda lonely around here and I’m really glad I got to spend the day with someone as awesome as you!” Kendall said, which brought a small smile to Dustin’s face.

“Thanks, I couldn’t agree more.” Turning himself over a bit, Dustin was looking at Kendall now. “And you’ve really been feeling lonely? You have all these awesome people living here though, and I’m sure you must be a hit with all of them!”

“Yeah, don’t get me wrong, a lot of the people here are cool and they’re all my close friends. But they’re all busy and don’t really have the free time I do lately, so it can get kinda boring. But you-“ Kendall said, putting a finger on Dustin’s chest. “You made today one of the most fun ones I had in a while!”

As the pair giggled, they eventually went back to watching TV, but not even 20 minutes later, they were both snuggled together under the blanket sound asleep.

Rubbing his eyes, Kendall stirred on the couch as he looked around the unfamiliar room, taking a second to realize that he was still on Dustin’s couch instead of his bed back at home. Oops, he thought to himself, he hadn’t even realized that he had knocked out last night during their little binge session.

He figured that he ought to get up and get going, but he was WAY too tired for that, so he remained in the same position for the next few minutes, looking over and seeing that Dustin was still asleep.

Might as well watch a little TV, since his phone was halfway across the room. Looking around the immediate area for the remote, he felt something rock hard and VERY large poking his ass. Glad he found it without having to get up, he reached for it and was a little surprised when Dustin let out a moan. Not thinking anything of it, he continued to pull, figuring it must be wedged in the couch.

The other male was starting to stir, and through hazy eyes he smiled over at the blond, greeting him good morning.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the gesture, but I didn’t think you’d be wanting to do this so soon.” Dustin said, biting his lip as he tried his best not to let out another groan.

“Well yeah, silly! I wanted to watch the morning news. Now can you move your leg and pass me the remote?” Kendall replied.

“Uh… the remote’s over there on the coffee table.” Dustin said, pointing over at the gadget that was in pretty clear view.

“Oh! Then what was that under the blanket?” Kendall said, reaching over to pull off the garment before Dustin quickly stopped him, suddenly flushed red.

“Wait! How about you, uh, make us a pot of coffee?” Dustin quickly blurted out.

“Sure!” Kendall responded, as Dustin let out a sigh of relief once he was out of sight. “Actually, I don’t see any over here. I don’t see much of anything, really.”

Seeing as how Lucy had been on tour for the last two months, it made sense that she hadn’t stocked up on groceries before she left.

“I’ll probably have to go to the grocery store then.” Dustin said.

“Want me to come with you?” Kendall asked, smiling when Dustin nodded yes. “Well you know what they say, the early bird catches the worm! Let’s get going now.”

As he reached over to pull Dustin up to his feet, he had to quickly stop him again.

“You can start getting ready if you want, but I’m…. gonna need a minute.” Dustin said, gulping as he glanced down to his lap.

After spending the morning going shopping with Dustin, Kendall finally got back to 2J around noon, seeing Logan, Carlos, and Katie playing Mario Kart 64, the three of them arguing over what appeared to be who’s turn it was to use Princess Peach, while his mom sat in the armchair adjacent to them, staring intently at her tabloid magazine.

“I’m finally home guys!” Kendall yelled out to the four, only to be met with silence. “I said I’m home guys! Who missed me!?” Kendall repeated once again, figuring that they must have been too focused to hear him the first time.

Still no reply. Kendall made his way over to the living room, awkwardly standing there as everyone was oblivious to his appearance.

“Fuck, I guess I’ll bite.” Jennifer thought to herself. Putting down her magazine, she let out a gasp. “Kendall sweetie! I didn’t even hear you walk in, oh my goodness!”

Standing up to give him a hug, she was shocked but happy to see the huge grin plastered on his face. “My my someone’s glowing, and I can sense you have some news to share!”

“I do!” Kendall beamed. “I made a new friend yesterday and he’s literally the COOLEST person ever!”

“That’s great, honey! What’s his name?” Jennifer asked back.

“Dustin. He just moved into the Palmwoods yesterday, and turns out, he’s actually Lucy’s older brother! He’s really down to earth, and I bet you’d all really like him!” Kendall said in the other three’s general direction, who continued to ignore him. “Hey, are you guys playing Mario Kart? PLEASE tell me I get to use Peach! I always get stuck with Luigi and I am SICK of it.”

“NO!” The three of them shouted in unison. As Kendall joined in on their bickering and Jennifer went back to gasping at the Who Wore It Best section, everything in 2J was how it was supposed to be.

Later that night, when dinner was done and everyone was settled in for the night, Jennifer began delivering the fresh piles of laundry to their respective owners. Lightly knocking on her son and Logan’s shared bedroom door, she heard giggling coming from inside. Hearing Kendall call out for her to come in, she walked in on her son laying on his stomach with a landline phone next to him, twirling the cord around with his finger and looking up to the ceiling cheerfully.

“Haha, nooo! You’re thinking of Beethoven’s 2nd! Beethoven’s 3rd is when him and the family go on the road trip in their RV. Duh!”

“Kendall sweetie, do you know where Logan went?” Jennifer asked as she separated the piles of laundry between the two roommates. Luckily, all of Logan’s clothing was hand embroidered with “Hortense” across the tag, so it was easy to distinguish what belonged to who. Plus the fact that Kendall wore a large and Logan wore a 2XL.

“Something about a party? I don’t know, me and Dustin were talking about our favorite Disney Channel original movies so I didn’t pay much attention to him.” Kendall responded, and as Jennifer went back to her folding duties, she heard the blond let out an audible gasp when the other voice on the line mentioned a Zenon girl or something.

“Okay, well try not to stay up too late talking to your new friend, sweetie!”

“Okay mom! Goodnight!” Kendall said, waving goodbye as his mom shut the door behind her. “Ugh! I love her to DEATH, but sometimes she can be SUCH a Nosey Nancy!”

“Aw, I think it’s cute!” Dustin said on the other line, making Kendall smile.

“Yeah, I guess so….” Kendall replied, suddenly letting out a yawn and realizing his eyes felt heavier than usual. “I’m actually getting kinda sleepy over here, but I don’t want to end this conversation!”

“It’s fine.” Dustin said. “We can continue this tomorrow. Besides, I think I’m ready to go to bed too. Goodnight, Kendall!”

“Night!” Kendall said, and as he held the phone to his ear, he heard the other male still on the line. “Okay, I really need to go to bed, so hang up!”

“No way! You hang up first!”

“No, YOU hang up first!!”

“Okay how about this, on the count of three we BOTH hang up!” Dustin said, which Kendall eagerly agreed to.

As Dustin slowly counted to three, a few seconds went by as there was silence on each line. “……..hello?” The pair said in unison, which caused them to go into a giggling fit, and it took them a good twenty minutes before the conversation was finally over.

Three Weeks Later

It was a chilly winter afternoon, but luckily Kendall and Victoria found themselves nice and warm inside the mall this fine Saturday.

It was the beginning of December, and the festivities all around them were sure to bring a smile to any face. Holiday décor was strung throughout the many storefront, nearby sat Santa Claus asking every kid what they wanted for Christmas, and spirits just seemed to be high amongst everyone walking around (apart from the retail workers who hated their jobs, especially during this shitty period of time).

“So shooting starts in a few weeks, and I’ll be leaving for NYC pretty soon!” Victoria excitedly said, craning her neck a bit to see how much further the line extended.

“That is SO awesome! You’re finally getting your own TV show! Again!” Kendall replied, truly feeling genuine happiness for his bestest friend in the whole wide world.

“Thanks. I’ve already done a read through for the first script and it sounds AMAZING. It’s like this mystery-thriller type of genre and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever done before. I’m so excited! Plus it’s going to be airing on this new late time block MTV’s doing, so it’s definitely something a little more mature.” Victoria replied.

“As you should be! I’m picturing you wearing that hacker headset on the show and I’m already kinda screaming!” Kendall said, causing Victoria to lightly chuckle. “There’s literally NO way this will get cancelled after its first season!”

“Right?!”

The two were getting a head start on their Christmas shopping, stopping at Justice for Katie, Gamestop for Carlos, and Bath And Body Works for his mom (and also himself!). Of course, ALL that shopping was bound to work up an appetite, so they had also made a stop at Cinnabon to indulge in some HEAVENLY mini buns. They had to high tail out of there though when Victoria stole a second sample from the platter when the underpaid girl at the counter wasn’t looking, so they kinda BOOKED it from the stall, adrenaline rushing through both of their veins.

In their mad dash to get away, they had actually ran into Logan, who was carrying bags upon bags from Hot Topic, which was certainly a little uncharacteristic from his usual Banana Republic finds. They didn’t have a chance to say hi (seeing as how mall security would be looking for them in the crowd), but Kendall could have sworn that Logan had a small pair of black studs in his ears, too.

As the two currently stood in the same line, the conversation continued.

“So, what are you doing on Monday? I was hoping that maybe you’d help me with a line reading? I’ll even throw in a pint of Skinny Cow!” Victoria said.

“I would, but I already made plans with Dustin to visit the La Brea Tar Pits! He thinks dinosaurs are pretty cool, and I’ve never been.” Kendall replied.

“Aw nuts, well how about Wednesday?” Victoria asked again.

“Yikes, busy that day too... Me and Dustin were actually planning to make this lasagna recipe we saw Giada De Laurentiis had on her show.” Kendall said, causing Victoria to groan.

“Ughhh…. Well what about Friday? Or do you and Dustin have something planned that day too?” Victoria said.

“Actually, I was gonna drop my mom off at her bikini wax appointment.” Kendall responded, Victoria nodding understandingly. “Buuut… Dustin asked me to come over later that night to help him finish Donald Duck: Goin’ Quackers.” Kendall said, noticing Victoria giving him a bit of side eye. “What?! The game is really hard!”

“Uh huh. You and Dustin sure have been spending a lot of time together, practically every day, really.” Victoria said, chiding the blond a bit.

“Well yeah, he’s super cool! And I still want you to meet him!” Kendall said defensively.

“I’d love to!” Victoria said, staring straight ahead. “So, have you told him you have a crush on him yet?”

“DBSHFJKDSBFKSB” Kendall blurted out. “Ummmmmmm, ahaha, you say some pretty wild things sometimes, you know that?!” Kendall mumbled, the candles in his bag clinking together as he shuffled awkwardly.

“Well I love to have fun. But you didn’t deny what I said, it’s totally okay if you like him, Kendall.” Victoria responded, comfortingly putting a hand on this shoulder that he shrugged off.

“Well I’m not gay! I had a girlfriend before, hello! Does Jo ring a bell?” Kendall said, gulping as Victoria gave him a knowing glance. “I also don’t have a problem with gay people either! Dustin’s gay, actually, and I’m okay with it. I’m just straight!”

“You never told me he’s gay! Even better, now I can’t wait to meet him! You know how much I love gay people!” Victoria said, pointing to the rainbow badge on her denim jacket that said ALLY. “And if you’re not gay, then I’m sorry for insinuating that you were.” Victoria added, Kendall giving her a weak smile. “But HYPOTHETICALLY,” Kendall giving her a look, “if you WERE gay, you know I would have absolutely no problem with it. You’re my best friend in the whole world and I love you with my entire heart.”

“Well…. Thanks.” Kendall said, reaching out to give the brunette a firm hug.

“Excuse me, could you guys please hurry up? We have a birthday party event coming up in twenty minutes that we need to prep for, and you guys are holding up the line.” The Build-A-Bear employee said, the duo embarrassed as they apologized as they quickly paid for their purchases and walked out of the store.

After a few more stores, the two parted way, and as Kendall drove home, looking at the Build-A-Bear box in the passenger seat next to him, he had a lot to think about regarding himself and his true feelings. He had knots in his stomach about it, but it also could have been the 12 mini cinnabons he had eaten earlier.

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ravenwritesstuff · 8 years

Text

Repetition

Fandom: Timeless - Set during episodes 1x10-1x11 Pairing: Lyatt (Lucy x Wyatt) Rating: Very M (SoooOoooOOooo not for kids. Go away, children.) Warnings: Violence; Language; SSEeX; messy feelings; angst; time travel is complicated; having feelings while time traveling is even more complicated; I have only watched the season once and this is probably full of errors but oh well; Lucy is a mess; Author uses super convoluted logic to get two characters to bang A/N: This is what happens when I binge watch a TV show where I spend the entire time yelling “JUST BANG EACH OTHER ALREADY. STOP WITH THE GOOGLY EYES AND JUST FUUUUUCK!”. So. This is my unapologetic porn with accidental kind of plot. Do with it what you will.

History repeats itself.

She knows that fact better than anyone, which is why she absolutely will not let her heart (or her hormones) or whatever the hell is going on inside of her come up with a victory. The only time people who lead with their hearts end up in history books is always accompanied with the footnote of horrible tragedy. Marc Antony and Cleopatra. Napoleon and Josephine. Héloïse and Abelard. Adolf and Eva. Don’t even get her started on Bonnie and Clyde. She is not about to add Lucy and Wyatt to that list.

It is stress, she tells herself. The urges, the desires, that always make her blush when he catches her eye across the room or helps her out of the Lifeboat are all just because of stress. She is cracking under it. She remembers the words he said to her in Germany about knowing what she is fighting for as a way to keep from falling apart, but she does not exactly know what to do when she is fighting against something.

Like her own damn hormones.

“Lucy.” Her mother’s voice cuts through the fog. “Your tea!”

She snaps back to reality to see her mother pointing at the screaming tea kettle. How long had it been whistling? Her hands shake as she cuts the gas on the stove and brings the kettle to pour herself a cup. The scents of chamomile and lavender fill her nostrils as she pours and she wonders how long she has to wait before she can drink it without burning her mouth to oblivion. This stuff is supposed to be calming, but she has the feeling that it is not even going to take the edge off.

Maybe she can figure out a way to inject it directly into her neural system.

“You okay?” It is her mom again and she all but jumps out of her skin again.

“Huh? Yeah. Sorry.” She wraps her hands around her mug to keep it from sloshing.

“What is going on with you?” Her mother sits on the stool across the kitchen island from where Lucy stands. “You haven’t been yourself in weeks.”

“I just -” She has a lie for this. She has practiced it in the mirror, but it still feels wrong saying it to her mother. “You know. I just am trying to figure some stuff out. It has all been so sudden with my new position -.”

Her mother frowns and cuts her off with a cluck of her tongue. “They work you too hard there. Who has ever heard of a historian working such bizarre hours?”

“Yeah. Well.” Lucy just shrugs. Her mother’s indifference is familiar territory at this point, but she still does not quite know how to field it. What she wouldn’t give for a little backup right about now. If Amy were here - “I’m just thankful to have a job in my field.”

“A job that is so stressful you can’t live with your fiance? Noah is going out of his head about all of this.”

It’s a low blow, especially considering her recent train of thought (and the fact she has to think hard to remember who Noah is) and Lucy looks down at her tea.

“It’s complicated, mom.”

“Oh. I know it is, babydoll, and I’m not pressuring you. You know you can stay here as long as you need.”

The sound of the phrase babydoll sends a braid of guilty pleasure so tightly down her spine that there is no way Lucy knows there is no way she can continue this conversation right now. She’s gotten better at lying, but she is nowhere near good enough to cover the blush that is spreading like wildfire across her skin at the recollection of a kiss that should mean nothing.

“Thanks mom.” She fakes a yawn. “I’m going to head to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

She is on her way out of the kitchen, tea in hand, before she is even done speaking.

“Anytime you want to talk - you know where to find me!” Her mom calls after her, and Lucy feels bad for her hasty exit.

But she would feel even worse if she spilled the beans about the real reason why she had to leave.

It is only five seconds after she turns out the light before her fingers dip below the waistline of her panties. She thinks of a kiss that meant nothing and everything at the same time. She thinks of him and sighs.

Wyatt.

….

She has no idea where he lives.

She has traveled, cumulatively, hundreds of years with the man, fought nazis, forged history, bested serial killers, but she has no idea where he sleeps at night. It is probably safer that way. If they don’t know where the other people in their team lives there is no way they can lead Rittenhouse to them, not that Rittenhouse would need any of them for that.

It seems they know everything anyway.

….

Trysts don’t make history.

Well - for the most part - they don’t if you are just a regular person. History making one-night-stands are reserved for movie stars and she is just a lowly historian so she is fairly certain she is not on any radar large enough to cement any kind of legacy. What she is more interested in is erasing the diary Flynn has in his possession.

Maybe, just maybe, she can alter the line of her life just enough that the book ceases to exist. Maybe, just maybe, she can work her way out of this. Maybe a tryst is just what she needs.

….

Lucy pops out her earbuds as she enters the house, winded and flushed. She’s taken up running, and she is bad at it, but she has heard it is a good stress reliever and boy howdy does she need some of that. She makes her way back to the kitchen to grab a drink of water to wash down the entire bottle of ibuprofen she is going to need after that extremely long (maybe she actually hit a mile this time) torture session when it happens.

“Noah stopped by. He left these.” Carolyn Preston points to the lush arrangement of peonies and roses on the kitchen counter. “Honestly Luc, you need to go talk to him. The poor boy is going nuts.”

And just like that, all the stress is back.

She grabs a glass and goes to the fridge.

“There’s nothing to talk about, mom.” She is tempted to put back in her ear buds and keep running. Always running. Never getting ahead.

“Nothing to talk about?” She can hear the disbelief in her mom’s voice, will see it in her face if she looks. “Lucy.”

Carolyn uses that special tone on her name. The ones that only mom’s can use to convey the fullness of their disappointment, and she cannot deal with that right now (which makes her feel guilty because there was a time not too long ago when she would have given anything to hear her mom say her name like that - or at all).

“I’ve got to take a shower.” She says, running from the room but not escaping.

“Call him, Lucy!” Her mom’s voice follows her up the stairs but she doesn’t want to call anybody.

Not Noah.

Not Rufus.

Not Agent Christopher.

And sure as hell not Wyatt (except for the fact that that is exactly what she wants).

She turns the shower on cold and jumps right in.

….

Flynn is in 1780 and Lucy knows their objective before Agent Christopher even finishes the briefing. It is Benedict Arnold. Flynn is going after the man who almost single-handedly lost the Revolutionary War for the colonies, and she knows she should be horrified. She should be outraged at Flynn’s nerve, and she is. She is, but Wyatt is there too looking tousled and irritable and she wants to kiss him with her fist for being so distracting.

What is his deal anyway?

She knows the answer. Love of his life murdered and he feels responsible and she feels for him. She does. She isn’t a monster, and if Jessica were still living there is no way she would even entertain these thoughts, but Jessica is gone just like Amy is gone so she knows it is awful to lose someone you love beyond your own life.

She knows.

She’d do anything to get back Amy, but the annoying thing is that the while the whole tortured backstory normally wouldn’t get much more than a sympathetic sigh from her (seriously. She does not go for bad boys with chips on their shoulders. Her insanely wonderful, understanding fiance is proof of that even if she can hardly remember his name.) Wyatt’s history has her rethinking the merits of a good old fashioned tormented soul.

And now she is going back in time with him. Again. Always. Racing against the odds to try to save the world and she cannot help but wonder when they ever get to save themselves.

….

She doesn’t want to change all of history, just hers.

She wants to change what she wrote in that journal. She wants to have her sister back. To do that, however, it is clear she will have to do something against the very fiber of her being. She is going to have to disrupt the flow of time. She is going to have to do something that will alter her course and hopefully the course of her journal and her sister’s existence.

She knows she is justifying.

She knows she is doing the thing she hates, but if that means stopping herself from becoming the same as the monster they are fighting then - yeah okay.

She respects the butterfly. She doesn’t want to step on a lot of them - just one. Just hers.

She knows that there is no change that she can make in only her life that will not ripple out and touch the world, but that is a risk she is willing to take. It is a risk she has to take, because she is not going to let Flynn win.

And that is what this is about. Not about how she is sitting in the Lifeboat flushed from head to toe because Wyatt looks nice in his period clothes with his hair brushed for once or how one piece has slipped over his forehead and she wants to brush it back or how she has to squeeze her knees together to ignore the fact that she is wet. No. It is not about those things.

She is taking back control over her life and she is going to do whatever it takes to make that happen, and it just so happens that that course correcting thing seems to be Wyatt.

….

She always liked playing dress-up as a child. She would imagine wild fantasies of her favorite historical figures all dressed in ill-fitting clothes, but nothing could prepare her for the intense discomfort of the real thing. Well she is experiencing it now and she is not impressed. The level of compression she is feeling at the hands of her authentic corset is making it difficult to breathe - to think - and that is dangerous. Especially with Flynn nearby.

He has been better and better at spotting them. Better and better at using his head start to set traps for them. Blending in with the time period is not enough anymore which always proves to more difficult than any of them anticipate. She may be hellbent on changing her own history, but she will not compromise the whole of America’s existence just because she needs to get laid.

“You’re awfully on edge ” Wyatt says as they shake off the post flight nausea and unbuckle after the jump.

“Yeah. Well. None of us are prepared to go back to a world that does not have the United States in it and that is one of the worst case scenarios here and we seem to be really good at landing in at least one worst case scenario each time we go on these missions.” Lucy hisses under her breath and she blames her corset for her additional nausea and testiness at his concern. Yeah. Her corset.

“Whoa there.” Wyatt is already unbuckled reaches across to touch her knee. She is forced to look into deep blue eyes that she absolutely has not thought about while pleasuring herself. “Breathe. Everything is going to be okay.”

But she cannot breathe. Not with him so close and her corset so tight and the crease between his eyebrows so deep with worry that she wants to smooth it with her fingertips, her lips. Instead she redirects her attention to unbuckling with a tense nod.

“I’ll relax when we are back in 2017 and the USA still exists.” She fumbles with the final fastener. She deflects further to distract from trembling fingers: “What about you, Rufus?”

“I always breathe better when I am not in a time period where I have to provide papers to prove I am not someone’s property on demand.” Rufus says from the control board and Lucy and Wyatt both tacitly agree that he has them both beat.

…..

If she were a different person she would not do this. She would not take advantage of Wyatt coming over to her to press her case for sex while they wait on Flynn and Benedict Arnold. She would focus on the mission - except this is kind of her mission too - and not just for the orgasm. She wants Amy back, wants that journal gone, and it is becoming increasingly clear that if she wants that to happen she will have to take matters into her own hands.

“You doing okay?” He has that voice that he uses when he is uncomfortable and trying to hide it. So every time actual feelings come into play about anything.

Lucy looks up to him, casts a fleeting glance over to where Rufus stands a safe distance away, and she looks back at Wyatt and she cannot believe she is about to -

“I think we should sleep together. For history.” She blurts on a hard whisper and the instant the words are out of her mouth she replaces them by worrying her cuticle.

He blinks, frowning that infuriating crease back into place, and crosses his arms over his chest.

“You think we should what now?”

Her entire body is on fire. Her mouth works but no words come out, her mind scrambling for a way out of this, but she cannot think with him looking at her the way he is. Like he thinks he misheard her. Like he hopes he hadn’t

Rufus breaks the silence and intrudes into their private world.

“Can someone please explain to me how the hell we got here and what the hell we are going to do now?”

Wyatt’s eyes never leave Lucy’s face, trying to read between her lines, and maybe that butterfly is squashed now. Maybe now nothing else has to happen between them but somehow that idea brings more disappointment than excitement.

“I - I don’t know, Rufus.” She stutters. “I don’t know.”

….

She is such an idiot.

She never should have said anything. She should have trusted the process and let Agent Christopher arrange a way for Amy to return but now she has just made everything awkward. She can feel Wyatt staring at her, trying to work the puzzle she’d laid out in front of him at the same time as he is trying his damndest to not just shoot Flynn in the head.

Flynn. Who is doing his damndest to get them all killed but she is perversely glad he is there because otherwise she would be alone in David Rittenhouse’s lair with Wyatt after she basically threw herself at his feet.

What is wrong with her?

Maybe if she had had her head in the game instead of her heart or - you know - her vagina, David Rittenhouse would not have a gun pointed at Wyatt’s head. Maybe if she didn’t absolutely embarrass herself and objectify her teammate that is helping to save, basically, the world as they know it, they wouldn’t be in this spot in the first place.

Her entire job is time, knowing what happened and when and how it shaped the world, so you’d think she would have a better sense of timing.

….

She could have struggled more, could have fought harder, and she knows that but there is something sickly comforting about being kidnapped by Flynn right now. He may be the villain of this story, but she is not the hero. That is for sure.

So when she gets aboard The Mothership, she buckles herself in without complaint. She knows he will have the pilot take off if she is ready or not, and in some ways she is just so fucking ready to be anywhere but here. Just as the world begins to take on the eerie green-blue haze of time and space shifting around them, Flynn looks across to her from where he buckled with a knowing smirk.

“Isn’t it interesting that you have two partners - and yet you only called out for one of them?”

He is so damn smug about it, too. Like he has her all figured out (which he kind of does if the journal is even half true and she did kind of leave out Rufus in her cry for help but there no way in hell she is going to come to close to admitting that to Flynn ever) and she hates him for it. She sets her jaw, juts out her chin, and looks him dead in the eye.

“Go to hell.” She says.

He chuckles.

“I’m afraid I’m already there.”

….

1893 Chicago is everything she imagined it would be. The city is abuzz with ideas and innovation and she wishes she could just lay out and bask in it, but as she listens to Flynn’s agenda she realizes she is going to have her hands full.

I mean - history doesn’t just name a building The Murder Castle without good reason. But she has good enough reason to get into it. Which is probably the only reasons she doesn’t make a total fool of herself when she meets Harry (OMG) Houdini and helps Flynn rope him into his scheme.

She needs her team back as much a they need her.

Now is not the time to lose her head any more than she has already lost it. So she keeps it cool. She whispers and smiles and laughs and schemes with until Harry is unlocking the door that holds both Rufus and Wyatt behind it and - gods - when she finally does see him again, when he wraps his arms around her like he won’t ever let go, she wonders how she ever thought it could be okay to be anywhere but here.

….

When she has nightmares, this is what she dreams. She dreams of inescapable, close spaces. She dreams of death and pain and inevitable doom. She dreams of dying alone, but she knows she isn’t.

He is here, somewhere, close, and he will save her. She knows he will, but first she has to save herself.

So she breathes, focuses, and tries to bring everything she can remember about H.H. Holmes into focus. She remembers, it seems, just enough to set him on edge. She remembers speaking the word: I have seen your past, and I know your future - and she wonders how much of that is just wish fulfillment on her end.

She does not know her past, she wishes she could see her future. Then, maybe, then she would be able to take the pieces of her life and arrange them in the way she sees fit. Maybe then she would be able to make sense out of the mess that is now her existence.

At the end of it though she cannot say she is upset when Wyatt lodges a bullet in H.H Holmes’ sick, sadistic face.

She may not be one for stepping on butterflies, but she is all for crushing that sonofabitch.

When they make it out of the house of horrors and back to the lifeboat she realizes she has not actually looked at Wyatt this entire time. Not really. Not in anything more than a frantic, thank-gods-you’re-not-dead way. Now that they are out of imminent danger (well - as much as they ever can be when you are playing chess against a homicidal maniac and a ruthless secret society) she meets his eyes and the air goes out of her lungs.

She sees him - and he sees her and she feels all of the stress of the last two adventures fall from her mind.

They don’t lose each other’s gaze until they touch back down in present day. By the time she goes to loosen her buckles her cheeks are flushed, her legs and weak, and she is so sorry for whomever has to clean her historical undergarments because honestly this is ridiculous. They haven’t even touched, haven’t even readdressed her premature proclamation, and maybe he had forgotten. Maybe he really hadn’t heard what she said. After all it was hundreds of years ago.

Kind of.

Not really.

She let’s Wyatt get out first.

Rufus looks at her on the way out. “You okay?”

Her eyes go to where Wyatt is walking away to start his mission debriefing before coming back to the other member of her team.

“Nothing that a little time won’t fix.”

She says and she wishes it was true.

….

“I think you’re right, you know.” Wyatt says as she hangs up her clothes on the appropriate racks and she startles. She hadn’t heard him approach.

“Wh - what -” Her heart jumps into her throat - starting a question she already knows the answer to. “What are you talking about?”

He meets her eyes in that unsettling way that leaves her in knots, the way that makes her feel like he sees her every thought, but there is something else in this too. There is something dark and wild in his eyes that she only sees when he is about to go in for the kill and that should not make her wet, but it does.

(And that is only the beginning of the reasons why she is going to have to invest in a shrink the second she gets back to her proper time stream.)

“You said we should sleep together - for history - and I don’t know what that means but yeah. We should.” This time he is the one who is edgy, a bit too tightly wound, and she wonders if he is slipping like she had been in World War II. She wonders if he is always this edgy but now, for some reason, it shows.

Maybe it is the Murder Castle.

Maybe it is because of her kidnapping or that Flynn has gotten away again because for how much that grates on her she knows it grates on him tenfold.

Or maybe he just has a hundred-year-old itch like she does that needs to be scratched.

So she nods, stupidly, unable to find the words to confirm her own diagnosis of the situation.

For how much she thought about this, she really underthought it.

“You got anywhere you gotta be?” He asks and this time she shakes her head, alternately entirely sure what is happening and not believing it. “Your place or mine?”

This is happening. She stiffens her gelatin knees.

“Y-yours.” Of course she would stutter.

Of course he would do that stupid half-grin.

“I’ll drive.”

She follow ten steps behind him all the way to his car on wobbly legs.

….

They don’t exactly talk on the drive.

He asks if she is comfortable (in regards to temperature - because they both know she is not otherwise) and apologizes for the mess (how much fast food can one man eat?) but that is about it. Unless you count her awkward throat clearing or his incessant finger tapping on the steering wheel as talking.

He drives an automatic, but she thinks for one second that his hand will slip off of the gearshift and land on her thigh. She tells herself that is stupid, but really, how stupid is it? They are going to his place to, presumably, fuck. So why wouldn’t ge touch her leg? But he doesn’t. In fact he doesn’t so much as look at her as he drives them to a side of town she doesn’t frequent.

Uncharted territory in so many ways.

She watches out of the corner of her eye as shadows shift and change on his face passing under street lamps and traffic lights. The lines of his neck, his jaw, are tense. She wants to ask him why. She want to access that dark, hidden part of him that she has only seen peeking through cracks he has led her to.

She knows better than to say anything though it takes everything inside of her to bite her tongue. Instead she reaches out her hand and puts it on his thigh.

He drives a bit faster after that.

….

He lives in a condo, but it has two parking spots he tells her like he is somehow ashamed of where he lives and that makes it better. She lives with her mom because she cannot stand the sight of her fiance, so she has no room to really judge, but it does seem odd. Of all the places she had pictured him living, this is not one of them.

He fumbles with his keys. She doesn’t know if she should chalk his misstep up to nerves or exhaustion or maybe a bit of both. Even if it was over a hundred years ago - he had just killed a man. She doesn’t know how you just come home after something like that.

She remembers Flynn telling her how he would leave his wife and child if they were returned to him, and she wonders if Wyatt would do the same for Jessica. If he could. If she would want him to.

The door pops open and they go inside. He flips on the lights.

It is simple, spartan even. The entry hall opens right into the living area which looks like very little living actually happens there. There is nothing personal about the space, but she supposes that makes sense. Why personalize a space you are only going to live in until the next mission?

She doesn’t like the idea of him leaving, of him not being part of her life, of being only one more member of a never ending series of teams. She looks at him from where he stands beside her.

“Do you want a beer or some water or -”

She grabs his face and kisses him. She can’t do this if he talks, if he makes it feel like anything more than she can let it be. She isn’t the girl who does these kinds of things, and she cannot think about it anymore. She just needs it to happen.

He does not seem to mind her trajectory, seems all too willing to fall into her, and she’ll take it. If she is using him to get something, she really cannot begrudge him the same thing. Can she?

His hands bury in her hair and she is aware that he is leading them somewhere else in the condo. She trusts him, doesn’t open her eyes, tries her very best to not think about the fact that they are inevitably heading to his bedroom.

He presses her back against a wall, filling every gap and curve of her frame with his bulk. He is stronger, harder, than the wall. Her hands fall away from his face and wrap around him, pulling him tighter against her. She arches, clawing into his shoulders, and this shouldn’t feel so good. The way his mouth latches onto hers, hungry and willing, should not feel so necessary.

This is supposed to be simple, but one large hand hitches up her shirt so he can run calloused fingers up her spine and the electricity it creates is not simple.

This is Wyatt. Brusque, reckless, inconsiderate, ruthless Wyatt. Thoughtful, passionate, sensitive, headstrong Wyatt. Wyatt who always operates in the black and white. Wyatt who drives her absolutely crazy with his lack of respect for history. Wyatt who just trusts her when she says they should sleep together for history (whatever that means). Wyatt who’s eyes were a little too sad, a little too desperate leaving headquarters tonight. Wyatt who is spreading her legs with his thigh and abandoning her mouth to work down her jaw, her neck, sending sparks and - okay.

This is not simple, but it is not the worst idea she has ever had.

She does not expect him to lift her, to hitch her legs up around his hips, but he does. Her ankles lock at the small of his back instinctively, arms wrapping his shoulders, and he moves her from the wall so he is bearing her entire weight. He brings his face out of her neck and looks up at her, eyes hooded and disbelieving.

“Tell me to stop - or I won’t.” He says and she realizes that even though she had started this, he will let her finish it. Even though she can feel how much he wants her to stay pressed against the fly of her jeans, he will let her leave. Hell - he’d drive her back to her car and this would be the last of it.

But that will not change her future, her past, her present. That will not somehow shift something just enough that she does not side with Flynn - does not lose Amy. That will not change the fact that part of her, somewhere inside, actually wants this to happen. Not sleeping together will do nothing but keep everything the same, and that will not do.

But she cannot say any of this so she ducks her head down and kisses him harder than necessary. He takes the hint and with hands hooked beneath her thighs he carries her down the hall.

His room is dark as he lays her back onto his bed. His long, thick body comes to rest half over her, half to the side. One hand ventures under her shirt up to the cage of wire and satin and squeezes. She moans and she cannot remember the last time someone did that. Come to think of it she cannot remember the last time she did any of this - wonders when the last time was for him.

If it was Jessica.

She breaks away on a gasp and he freezes.

“What?” She can see the faint illumination of his face from the hall light, can see that furrowed brow, and okay. Jessica is not here. She may never be here again. So Lucy reaches with delicate fingers and smooths the worried space. Her hand slips to this side of his face and he leans into it - turns to kiss her palm.

The sweetness of the gesture takes her breath.

Of all the things she had expected from this encounter, somehow sweetness hadn’t made it into the equation and she is not sure how to handle it. So she doesn’t. Instead she let’s her hand fall from his face to grab at the hem of his t-shirt. He gets the hint and it is gone in a breath.

He doesn’t have one of those fitness model bodies with photoshopped abs and pecs bigger than her breasts (not hard to do, honestly). His strength is functional, firm, and solid. She sees silver outlines of scar tissue in the dark and she wants to kiss each mark.

Her shirt is next.

Seems he is of the I’ll-You-Mine-If-You-Show-Me-Yours mentality and that is fine except she does not remember the last time someone saw her any kind of naked for reasons other than medical ones. She feels her entire body flush as he unhooks the front clasp of her bra and lets it fall away. His breath is deep and uneven as his gaze falls to all that is exposed to him. A reverent glow catches in his eyes and he is looking at her like he thinks she is amazing and beautiful and she doesn’t know what to do with that either so she sits up and hooks a hand around his neck at the same time.

Their lips crash together in cadence with their bodies and the skin on skin friction is enough to make her make all kinds of embarrassing noises. Her fingers explore the expanse of him, the dips and ridges of muscles over his back, the sparse sprinkling of hair across his chest, and it seems he wants to return the favor.

He crashes them back onto the bed and abandons her mouth to worship all of the newly revealed skin. He leaves stinging, biting kisses down the column of her throat that might leave a mark she isn’t going to be able to explain (she really does need to get better at that lying thing) until he reaches the peak of her breast with merciless teeth and lips. Each pull and suck sends a current straight to her groin and she lifts her hips reflexively.

He understands what she needs, needs it too.

His lips travel down the lean slope of her stomach while careful hands undo the fasteners of her pants and hook onto the waistband. He doesn’t draw out the process, is not a man for half-measures, so when her pants come off her underwear come off at the same time. She’d already lost her flats somewhere along the way (maybe when he lifted her to wall like a rag doll? shit) and he is able to pull them off without too much trouble.

And he is on her before she has a chance to be embarrassed.

He covers her with his body, one work rough hand pressing into her folds while his breath teases the sensitive shell of her ear. “Tell me what you like.”

The sound of his voice in her ear, so low and sex-wrecked, triggers an eruption of chills across her skin just as his thumb finds the small bundle of nerves that has been aching to be touched for hours, days.

“That.” She gasps. “I like that.”

He smiles into the curve of her throat and doesn’t let up. Instead he heightens the situation by pressing a finger into that sweet empty place between her legs. His free hand finds her breast and the two work at her mercilessly as he reclaims her mouth. Her hands find purchase on his shoulders as she just holds on.

Distantly she considers that this must all be a bizarre dream - that she will wake up at her desk in her room with Amy coming in the door with toast and tea and they would laugh about how she shouldn’t fall asleep while reading history texts. Then he slicks in a second finger and no - this is no dream. No dream could feel like that.

It doesn’t take long once he does that. She’s been turned on for centuries at this point and when the first wave of clenching ripples wash over her, he pulls back his mouth and just watches her face as she comes. Watches how he makes her come, and gods does she come. It is roll after roll of molten heat exploding out from her center until she is left melted and burned up beneath him.

He pulls away only when he seems satisfied that she is finished and strips off the rest of his clothes with military precision. She can see him then, curving up towards his stomach, and she knows he must be beyond ready. He’s been hard for a long time and despite her post-orgasmic lassitude she can feel her body winding back up just at the sight of him.

She hears the distant crinkle of a condom wrapper and then he is on top of her again, spreading her legs with his. He settles his hips in line with hers and meets her eyes.

“You okay?” He asks and she has no idea how to answer that.

She should be okay. She is the one who suggested this, but she had never expected - never dreamed that the experience would be anything like this. She never thought that it could be something this good - so effortlessly great - that she cannot trust herself to think about it without assigning meaning.

She nods, not trusting her voice, and reaches down and lines him up. He pushes in and even though she is no virgin and she is wetter than she has ever been she feels that age-old burning ache as he works himself in and out until he is fully seated inside of her and just holds.

His arms shake by her head where he braces on elbows above her. His eyes are squeezed closed, every muscle in his body pulled taut, and for one moment she is glad for his hesitation because he feels huge. Then the next she is ready for him to move and she cants her hips against his because she does not need any more time to overthink that this is actually happening.

He moves with a groan. His thrusts are strong and square, rubbing her in just the right places, and she is horrified when she feels her second climax building. She’s never been a multiple orgasm type of girl - but then again she’s never been much of an anything girl. Her history of sexual partners could be summed up on one hand and none of it had been all that stellar. So when she feels the first swell begin to crest and crash over her, she is just as surprised as he seems to be.

He picks up his pace, keeping his thrusts short and rapid so he can grind his pelvis against hers until her spine goes rigid and her head snaps back and he bites the racing pulse-point in her neck.

If the last time had been rolling waves, this is a white hot rocket of blinding energy. She looses track of herself, her body blending together into a kaleidoscope of sensation, but she thinks she hears him murmuring against her skin. She thinks she can feel him lick the teeth worried skin of her throat. She thinks she hears him growl her name as his thrusts turn to jerks and spasms and barely catches himself from crushing her with his body.

She stares beyond his shoulder to his ceiling, waiting for her body to come back to itself, and - holy shit - she does not know about her past but she knows this is something that will unavoidably shape her future and not just in the being-ruined-for-all-other-men side of things. She’s just had sex with Wyatt and they are going to have to go through time still all the while knowing just how the other one feels. As the haze of it all (racing pulses, heavy breathe, spectacular orgasms) begins to fade - she cannot remember how she ever thought this was a good idea.

He pulls out of her and they both inhale on a hiss - over sensitive and a little sore - before he rolls to his side. She flashes back to the last time she lay on a bed with him like this, shoulder to shoulder, in their shared room with Bonnie and Clyde and she is not prepared for that memory. She is not prepared to even think of things like soulmates and true love. Not when everything is as confusing as it is.

She reaches for her clothes, suddenly feeling very exposed, and he doesn’t stop her.

“Bathroom?” She asks and he points to a door in the corner, but he does not look at her - seems as unable to move as she had been a few moments before.

She finishes gathering everything up and darts to the bathroom before he shifts. She shuts the door and turns on the light. It is blinding after the time spent in the dark and she catches her reflection in the mirror above the sink. Her skin is red and mottled from neck to navel from his mouth and stubble. Her lips are swollen and ripe. Her cheeks are flushed a bright pink and she is practically glowing.

She turns away and sits on the toilet. She shrugs back into her bra and pulls on her shirt. She stands, flushes, and works her clothes back onto her lower half. Her cheeks reach a new shade of crimson when she feels just how damp her panties are still and how in the hell is she supposed to go back out there now? She turns on the tap and washes her hands before pressing the cold water against her face, her neck, trying to cool the fire inside.

She takes one last good look at herself, now fully dressed, and runs her fingers through her hair. Aside from the series of hickeys that would no doubt darken to a horrifying shade in the days to come, you would never know what had just happened just by looking at her. You would never know she had just gone to war against time by fucking a man she’d come to care for and respect and the idea makes her shiver.

What had she done?

She takes a series of deep, centering breaths and turns back to the door. She breathes again, and then again once she puts her hand on the knob before she opens it again.

He is there, standing there in his jeans and nothing else looking disarmingly disheveled. He’d turned on a lamp on his nightstand and it casts long, strange shadows around the room. He meets her eyes across the room and they both freeze.

He shoves his hands into his pockets and she tries to not let her eyes go to the cut of his hipbones, the fact that she can tell he didn’t bother putting back on his boxer-briefs. The idea that she even knows his preferred cut of underwear is enough to lock herself back in his bathroom for the rest of her life.

He works his jaw a bit before offering a tentative: “Now what?”

“Now...” She swallows against the need to sweep his hair back off of his forehead. “Now we wait and see what happens.”

[ next part ]

#timeless #lyatt #wyatt logan #lucy preston #fanfic #raven writes stuff #raven writes timeless #lol #because what I need is to be writing for another fandom #what is wrong with me #repitition #timeless nbc

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whatdimissmotherfuckers · 8 years

Text

Procrastination

Word count: 1786 Summary: You’re bored and procrastinate and decide to chat with Philip Hamilton. Stuff happens. (I’m really getting better at Summary, right?)

Pairing: Philip x Reader

Au: High School

Warnings: Lot of cussing. I guess. Thats it

Note: It’s verry fluffy. Also, yes, i still haven’t posted Maybe that’S the problem, but I didn’t want to shit something out. So yeah. tomorrow. It will be worth it, I swear. Also i really like this one and i hope you enjoy it too? (Why do i always write Philip?)

A sigh escaped your lips.

You didn't even bother to look at your alarm clock, because you knew it was almost midnight and yet you were still awake. Running your hand through your dishevelled hair, you attempted to think of another sentence you could add to the powerpoint you were working on, but your mind had other ideas. There was just no way in hell you could form grammatically correct texts that also made sense after downing the fourth coffee on that day. Or Night. Of course, you could've noticed that sooner, but well, no need to worry. You were way too motivated on the topic of procrastination that you could care about your project. Besides, it was only missing a few finishing touches, or at least you thought so. So without further thinking, you slammed your laptop shut and grabbed your phone. Who could you write and who would possibly be online?

Of course, the first thing that came in mind was one of your classmates, Philip. You often sat next to each other in class, but you never actually talked to him outside of school. Which was a shame, because you couldn't deny that he was a pretty...cool guy. Well, it was also hard to talk to him outside of classes because he was always surrounded by his clique, and you really didn't want to get into trouble with them. The group consisted of five people, Theodosia, Frances, Georges, Richard and Philip. You would rarely see one of them alone, and rumour has it that they were all secretly dating each other. But then again, those rumours seemed pretty absurd.

Should you write him a message? It was worth a shot, wasn't it? While you searched for his number, you contemplated over how you should write him. "Hey, it's (Y/N)." No, that was too basic. "Howdy, what's up? (Y/N) here." Yeah, right. This was exactly how you would lose his interest in the first message. You should just say what you're thinking right now.

You: Hi Philip, I'm procrastinating on my pp for tomorrow. I'm bored,entertain me pls.

Sometimes your brutal honesty was too much.

P. Ham: Yo. Me too.

You: You're not finished?

P. Ham: Yeah, what's your topic?

You: Anthony Ramos.

P. Ham: Ugh. Boring.

P. Ham: Don't say he looks like me!

You: He does.

Soon you were engaged in a light-hearted conversation, and you could feel your excitement grow with every message he wrote back. Philip was a person that always caught your attention the most, but then again, he caught the attention of everyone. He was a very popular person, because of his intelligence,the fact that he was very outgoing and his good looks. Then again, he didn't have too many friends. It didn't surprise you, since his charming nature hid behind a blunt personality. But if you looked past the snide remarks he often made, Philip was actually a very kind person. A lot of people would say that he was the split image of his father, Alexander Hamilton. You didn't know what to think about that, you haven't heard much of the man. After a while, the conversation took an interesting turn.

P. Ham: Hey, do you planning on sleeping in the next hour?

You: Not really, why.

P. Ham: I'm bored and I wanna come over.

You: What?

P. Ham: God, you're a slowpoke.

You: Excuse me? It's just that it's 00:05 and you want to come all the way over here?

P. Ham: You know I live three streets away, right? I'm coming over.

You: Wait!!

You: I haven't said you could come over, you dick!

Even after waiting a few minutes, there wasn't coming an answer anymore. You sighed, while taking a closer look around your room. A little bit of panic came up inside you, as you noticed all of your belongings, which were laying around. You contemplated if you still had the time to tidy it, but didn't manage more than picking up the clothes that were scattered across the floor before you heard the doorbell ring. Throwing the clothing into your laundry basket, you made your way to the door. As you opened it, you couldn't help but gasp. Not only was the one and only Philip Hamilton before you, but he was also wearing a pretty fancy attire and balanced a tray of brownies in his left hand.

"Happy Birthday", he jeered, seeming a bit unimpressed with your dishevelled hair and your favourite sweater that was two sizes too big.

As your eyes met, he noticed the confusion on your face. " I don't have birthday?", you pointed out, but your statement had a questioning tone to it. "I know." He shrugged and squeezed past you, closing the door behind him. "I have." Philip still hasn't shown any form of positive emotions, but now you could see a slightly suppressed smirk on his face.

The instant these words left his mouth, you felt your cheeks turn red. "Oh no, I forgot your birthday! I'm sorry!", you exclaimed, and wrapped your arms around his waist to hug him.

"You're not sorry, you're a horrible person", he muttered, chuckling. After a few more apologies and more hugging both of you went into your room, and threw on your laptop to watch some netflix. Of course, the first thing that popped up as you opened the computer, was your Powerpoint. "Motherfucker, I completely forgot about this", you thought to yourself, before logging into your netflix account. While you were busy, Philip was eyeing your room, of course not without adding a few comments here and there. It was Philip, of course he had something to say about it. "How nice of you to tidy before inviting me over", he said, and you gasped audibly. "First of! I didn't! Second! I also didn't!", you answered, which made you receive a simple nod. You couldn't see that of course, because Philip was behind you, but he didn't seem to care.

"You stingy ass could've at least buy me a little present!", he complained after he had commented on seemingly every item that was in your possession. You felt the guilt rise in you, even though you probably wouldn't have bought something if you knew, that he had birthday today. What possible could a rich, douchey high school student possibly want? You were sure he already had most things you could only dream of. Not that he actually meant, what he said. You were sure he wasn't expecting anything. "Sorry... I'll think of something", you professed, even though you weren't sure if you could.

After you set everything up, you sat yourself beneath him on your bed, and placed the laptop in front of you. "You want?", Philip suddenly asked, shoving the tray of brownies towards you. Sceptical, you inspected the brownies a bit further, when he suddenly started to laugh. "Shut your mouth, I didn't poison them. And they're pot-free", he defended himself. "I haven't said anything", you protested, poking him in the ribs. "No, but you were about to."

Touché. You couldn't argue with that. Taking a bit out of the cake, you struggled to speak, but did it anyway. "Sowhatchawannawatch?" You could barely understand yourself, but Philip seemed to have a problem with it. Yawning, he chose a film called django unchained, and you chose not to interject, even though you've seen it a couple of times already.

"Is it even okay to have you here? Shouldn't you finish your presentation", you pondered, while you were absently staring at the screen. Somehow it had reminded you, that Philip was also procrastinating. "Nah, I'm finished. I just said that to make you feel a bit better." "Asshat."

As the film went on, your concentration slowly started to fade away from the movie and you focused more on the boy beneath you. At first, you only glanced over to him once or twice, but the more you looked, the more he seemed to concentrate on the film, giving you the impression that he didn't notice your obvious staring. So soon you found yourself looking at him longingly. You loved his bouncy curls, and wondered if they would feel soft when you would ran your hand through them. But the most fascinating were his freckles. They seemed like like dashes of paint on a blank canvas, and made him so much more unique. You may or may not have started to count them, as he suddenly turned his head, forcing you to hold his piercing glance.

"How long are you planning to stare at me?", he deadpanned, making you blush again. "Well I-I don't know", you stuttered, struggling with an explanation. But he didn't seem to care. "You said you would think of something as my birthday present. I'm gonna wish something", he digressed. Letting out a small giggle, you suggested something.

"What, that I shut up and watch the movie" Philip gave a quick nod, before he added: "And another thing." Pulling you over to him, you didn't have enough time to react before his lips were on yours, kissing you passionately.

After what seemed like ages, he let go of you, with the words: " And now you shut up and watch the movie." You were happy to oblige, but even though you were staring at the screen, your mind was elsewhere. Thinking of the boy next to you, who was grinning just as stupidly as you. Happily leaning against Philip, you felt the tiredness overcoming you, which you at first suppressed, but before you knew, you had fallen asleep.

Waking up to your favourite song, you felt your heart racing almost in an instant, as you remembered the previous night. In panic, you jolted up, just to notice that somebody had tucked you in, and placed your computer on the desk. Checking the clothes you were in,you made yourself sure that the events of this night weren't just a silly dreams. Slowly, you calmed down. Everything was going alright so far, you weren't late for school... But then, something occurred to you.

"The presentation!" you exclaimed, almost falling out of your bed as you tumbled towards the laptop. Hoping, that it was at least somewhat finished, you started to scan the document, as you noticed, that it was... completed. Somebody had added pictures, and small paragraphs of information. Furrowing your brows, you contemplated whether you had finished the presentation in your sleep.

"What?!", you gasped, as you had arrived at the last page of the powerpoint, which consisted of a huge title with the following words: "If I was Anthony Ramos, would you be my Jasmine Cephas Jones?"

#why do i write like i'm running out of time #philip hamilton #alexander hamilton #hamilton imagine #philip x reader

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slothcritic · 5 years

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She-Ra and the Princesses of Power - Episode 5 Review

The episode features boats. And two new amazing characters!

With the Flower Power Princess in their alliance, Brightmoon now turns to the sea in the hopes of recruiting Netflix’s Ariel, the Little Mermaid, to their side.

However, as expected of a mermaid, she lives in the ocean. This means that the wonder trio is in serious need of an experienced sea captain if they want to rock that boat.

The Queen explicitly requests no violence or collateral damage, so I get the feeling we all know how that’s going to pan out.

I feel like I’m slowly falling in love with Adora’s puffy-shoulders overcoat. I’m sure there’s an actual fashion name or term for that. But it looks cool.

When the wonder trio enters the briny fishy bar, they meet some rough looking characters, and at one point Beau’s voice breaks. Like the voice actor delivers a line and the voice just pitches through the ceiling. But you know, I think that really fits his character, so that’s probably why they left it in.

Among all the bruisers and rough-housing animal and fish people, we’re introduced to a suave, majestic debonair of a daredevil that looks like the offspring of Miguel from The Road to El Dorado and Varrick from The Legend of Korra. And boy howdy does the attitude match the appearance.

He is exactly what they’re looking for, but he is not cheap, even by royal treasury standards. I can’t remember who it was, whether it was Glimmer, Beau, Adora or even Seahawk himself, but someone challenges someone to arm wrestle, and Adora squares up against this smooth talking snake-oil seas-man.

Right here, I wanted her to go She-Ra and just destroy him, but turns out she doesn’t even need the power-up and flexes on him without issue.

Seahawk stammers and stumbles over his words for a moment before agreeing to help, and we get our first glimpse at the idea that Seahawk may not be all he claims to be.

Back at the danger zone, Demontwister is still extremely buttrumpled over Adora up and leaving, and sends Catra to dispatch her. After some back and forth sass, Deathwalker informs her that she will not be going alone. A massive, imposing shadow looms over Catra, and we see a pair of massive lobster claws emerge from the shadows...

Right before they hug her. This is Scorpia. She has lobster arms. Well, scorpion arms, because her name is Scorpia. That’s pretty cool.

Scorpia, as it turns out, is an absolute delight of a character. They managed to make a zany, endearing character without making them “lul sO rAndOm!!” and her antics drive Catra up the wall. Catra is now the straight man in this duo, and this is a great change of pace from being the wild card to Adora’s straight man. It also doesn’t help that, hey, they’re also on a boat! And Catra, being part cat, hates water.

We’re sailing, sailing, sailing on the ocean blue. Seahawk almost sings a shanty several times, but keeps getting cut off for one reason or another. However, when he finally does pull it off, Beau is there to back him up with the violin.

Beau is really just the flow with it, be everyone’s friend character. Though considering this goofy scene more, I hope we see more out of Beau as a character than just being the amicable comedy relief and voice of reason. Some substance to his personality would be nice. It’s very easy to write the virtuous, pure of heart, yada yada character. It’s not an issue yet, after all we’re still only at Episode 5, I just have high hopes and expectations for his character development.

We’re here! No we’re not! It’s a sea serpent. Adora turns on the spotlights and dives bravado-first into the ocean to kill it. Bye She-Ra!

The more watch this show, the more I like its art style. I found it very pretty just in the first episode, but the longer I pay attention to how it’s drawn and how the animators move the characters, the more I just appreciate looking at it. It feels unique, but also refined, focused and not too dramatically exaggerated.

Granted, it’s still very basic. The drawings are simple and the art style lends itself to being quickly and easily animated. It’s not a master class of animation or anything, and the art style isn’t completely breathtaking, after all it’s mostly flat colors with limited shading, but I still like it because they were able to take something basic and present it with a neat bow on it. Perhaps I’ve just got Star Vs The Force of Evil and Steven Universe on the brain but this style just looks so much better than those. Maybe if I watched something else, like a bunch of Studio Ghibli movies right before diving into this, I’d have a much harsher opinion of the art in this series. But for a campy Saturday morning kids cartoon, I like it and I find it’s growing on me.

The wonder trio meets the water queen, a very no-nonsense, serious and drol woman. Seahawk, ever the extroverted and dramatic goofball, is madly infatuated with her. The clash here leaves a lot to be questioned. Princess Waterlily actually has the more interesting half of the relationship here. It’s not your typical, plastic writing for your everyday tsundere because it seems like a lot of the time she genuinely dislikes him. But certain situations leave her exasperated to explain why she’s still hanging out with him. It’s nothing explicitly stated, or inferred through omission, or even spoon fed to the viewers through contrarian yet obvious tropes, but more in the idea that they just keep showing up together for SOME reason.

Anyways, the crux of this episode is pretty much the same as the last. Go to new ally, use She-Ra powers to save them, they’re happy and join the Brightmoon alliance. Huzzah. Now, since the barrier is weak and on the verge of just breaking all together, all She-Ra has to do is save the damsel in distress and--

Ah, yes, this trope again.

It draws into question how useful these princesses might be to Brightmoon if they’re so inept on their own. Like, I know we’re gearing up for some Princess Battle Royale at some point in the future. That’s being telegraphed years in advance. I’m sure the princesses will kick ass when that happens, and it’ll be awesome. But are they just sitting on their hands right now, waiting for She-Ra or even just The Plot to come save them from their helpless predicaments? Isn’t Lady In The Lake badass enough on her own to be able to do something at all about her current situation? Anything at all? No?

Putting that aside for now, it goes without saying that wherever the main characters go, the horde is not far behind. Catra and Scorpia have a ship, which I’m certain has no innuendo, and any further shanties have been hereby banned. Beau boards the ship with ye old faithful CareBear bow, and of course Kyle gets shot.

While this scene plays out, Glimmer turns to Seahawk for his assistance and asks him to do the one thing he’s actually good at.

“Set your ship on fire!”

He gladly obliges and they kamikaze that son of a bitch right into the other player’s battleship. Don’t ask me why a flaming wooden dinky can completely sink a floating metal tank. Maybe that’s Seahawk’s special princess power.

During all of this She-Ra and Catra have been having some incredible sexual tension on the floating platform, where the shining goddess is attempting to use the power of magic and harmony and friendship or whatever to fix the rapidly eroding magical barrier around Misty’s Splash Mountain.

With the apparent defeat of a the horde for now, Catra just... backs off I guess. And they just let them.

Little Miss Seaworld is understandable thrilled that the wonder trio and yes even Seahawk have saved her kingdom, in her own lowkey and monotone way, and grudgingly thanks Seahawk for his contributions. As thanks, her butler provides a new ship for Seahawk, christening it with a bottle of wine and everything.

“Try not to burn this one down too.”

“No promises!”

With that, we have Seahawk and Murmista joining the party!

Conclusion

Seahawk and Scorpia are amazing. This episode is in very good fun and the new characters provide some great humor. The last four episodes were a little slow to the punch, but I found it hard to find something to dislike about this episode. The forced helplessness of the princesses here is a little off-kilter but it didn’t seem off-pace for the series and only started to bug me when I really thought about it. Initial first viewing it damn near flew over my head.

If I had to nitpick beyond that, I don’t feel like they leaned into Seahawk’s character enough. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great, but I feel like he could’ve been better if they had committed more into him instead of keeping his personality light like La Croix. It is the first episode he appears in so I’m sure there’s more to him that we’ll discover, but it’s hard to say he isn’t a little one-dimensional in this specific episode. Just an endearing goofball with no real depth beyond comic relief. Scorpia on the other hand seems to have more potential at least from the outset. She appears to have a more diverse personality but we don’t get to see too much of it here.

Now, it would be fair to say that I’m basing almost my entire judgement of this episode upon the shoulders of two very campy new characters, and that would be an accurate assessment. It’s important to note that the primary purpose of a show like this must always be entertainment. You need to be entertained to want to keep watching. That can either be done through a gripping plot, tension, character development, emotional investment, or just through goofy, hilarious hijinks. At Episode 5, we’re too early into the series for pretty much anything on that list except for the last one.

This has also cinched that little itch in my back for me about “not being quite sold on the series yet” - Up to this point, it had simply been a point of curiosity, but now I feel like I actively want to keep watching just to see how these characters develop and what happens to them as the story unfolds.

Score: 75

Passing Thoughts

“Go fish” says the fishy dude.

#slothcritic #she ra #she-ra #shera

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