#I haven't even spoken to my other bestie today.. I.. don't have it in me to talk to anyone really...

[clown-demon]

((I hate this state I'm in.. I'm too depressed to eat.. I'm too depressed to even drink anything.. It's 3pm and I haven't had a single bite of anything or even a sip of a drink. It's really bad atm...

[what-if-nct]

hiiii today's reminder is i watched all the nct episodes of Jonathon (i do not know his full name but that's all they call him so idk) and fuck i forgot how funny dream are. chenle is my little dude, i want to be the kind of besties with him where we talk once a month but we know everything about everything and have very strong opinions. i wanna get tipsy and gossip with him and talk shit about everyone i know

Hiii, I have only seen clips of them here and there I actually haven't watched any kpop content except Riize in the haunted house there was screaming and running, my attention span has been horrible lately so certain things lose me. I literally just went to search for the episode you're talking about then I got a random thought and began to move my whole room around and i realized i moved my bed far from any outlets so i ordered a 6ft charger instead of moving my bed again. Now I'm listening to country music instead. The only thing I can watch longer than 10 minutes is Trisha Paytas podcast cause she talks fast and jumps all over the place with subjects it's the perfect pace to me. so anything with subtitles, my brain can't do it. That was so long winded for an unnecessary statement but I do know dreamies are just a bunch of ridiculous little guys. Chenle always gets so passionate in conversations especially their silly debates. Him and Jaemin get so enthralled and little stressed. But also they're just silly and goofy. And like a sleepover with them would be so fun. I would also love to see just Wayv and Dream together, I don't think we've seen just all of dream and all of wayv together just fooling around. I want that so much.

Random daily side note, is there something going on with the planets because random men from my past have been popping up there's some I haven't spoken to in months to years!! They've randomly popped up asking if I'm single, what's going on? Can they see me? Like I just ignore it at this point there might be one guy I would hear out if he reached out but all the others ugh. Why are they here. My period is on the horizon so I might just be extra irritated plus I only want to eat cashews so I bought a pound and that is indeed all I've been eating. Also Wonbin finally happened upon me, seeing him screaming for his life made me see him differently. I literally just said not long ago I love pathetic men, If a guy shows a little patheticness, he got me. Like the only guy from my past id give another chance, laid on my chest for an hour while I ran my fingers through his hair and was so sweet and nervous and when he said "dang it" when he missed a turn and was excited he ended up covered in glitter by me, oh come to me you lanky long haired pathetic man. There's another thing that happened but I shouldn't say it in public but he's the only one I'd even consider meeting up with again only him. Just like hyunjin, Wonbin screaming in the haunted house unlocked my feelings for him.

[sp00kysk3lly]

I think I am done with certain people in my life. I just can't cope with their shitty behavior anymore.

Last night, the first "friend" messages me. I will call her Friend FC (Fucking Cunt) :) FC messages me firstly during the day, asking what I am up to, which I told her I was just in the supermarket buying food for my birthday. She reads it and doesn't bother responding. I thought fair enough, I am busy anyway, I don't have time to be texting, even though it would have helped due to my anxiety in shops and supermarkets.

Then, later yesterday evening, she messages me again, about her blood test results. Which tbh I don't really GAF about, we're not that close in friendship, more acquaintances. So, anyway, I am being supportive with her "new diagnosis" which I think is fair considering she pisses me off pretty much 2 times a day at least. I tell her that I feel shitty with my mental health..... she just shuts it down and says "got to go, work in the morning."

So, let me get this straight FC, it's ok for me to listen to your fucking shit, but you don't have to listen to mine? Yeah, cause that's fair.

_

Today, I messaged my other friend, I will call her..... FB (Fucking Bitch) :P

I message her and say "sorry I haven't spoken, just been busy with some stuff going on (mainly the NHS). She says "it's ok" She then, proceeds to tell me that oh "I got my mouth surgery yesterday." (For people that don't know FB is the kind of person that rubs things in your face. So in this case she is getting implants something that I wanted something that i was hoping to get but got refused, she is getting them because mummy is paying for them. Mind you this is a 46/47 year old woman, so bit childish.)

And she always does it, ALWAYS! Rubs in the fact that she has "perfect healthcare", "perfect life" We wasn't even speaking about the fucking dentist or teeth. I mentioned NOTHING about the fucking thing. So, it just proves that she does it on purpose. Why mention it when I said nothing about it, I wasn't even saying anything about it.

I am just done with friends. I can't stand them anymore. They refuse to help me when i need it, they don't even care. They ALL fucking said they would read my fucking book Broken Trust... now what do you think they did? If you guessed that they didn't fucking read it, YOU GOT IT IN FUCKING ONE!

I even said to FB that I was writing a new book, but she didn't even act remotely interested in that shit. Just more interested in telling me about her precious fucking implants.

I hope they fucking fail for you bitch! I hope they fuck up so bad that you then have to pay 1000s and 1000s of £££ just to get them fixed. While I can just go to the dentist and have mine fixed for free! SO FUCK YOU ALL. DO NOT EXPECT A MESSAGE FROM ME IN THE FUTURE. YOU CAN WISH ME HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TOMORROW, BUT AFTER THAT I WOULDN'T EXPECT ANYTHING AFTER.

But its ok, because I will be hanging with my new bestie, @solarepiphany Least they actually give a shit and listen to me, unlike you all. And I do the same for them!

FRIENDSHIP WORKS BOTH WAYS!

[thelocalconstellation]

ngl, kinda tired, brain fuzzy, I haven't put any words down onto my social assignment due tomorrow, and I'm ready to throw hands w/ god.

I've started to listening to 'how to be a heartbreaker' on loop

I haven't heard this song in years. literally. not since the fucking gacha videos I always used to watch had this shit man

I mean I still watch gacha videos sometimes, mainly because I... don't know what the fuck else to watch. they fit my tiny ass attention span and y'know what thats fine.

anyways yes. I am listening to that song. kinda want to work on one of my various WIP fics but also.

mmmmmm no. I'd draw but also, no. kinda no fam. brain funky rn.

I'm gonna regret this post later tomorrow but eh, oh well. nobody sees my posts anyways, not like everybody's gonna see it.

honestly not even mad.

on another note I had the most confusing interaction with a classmate today in social.

There are 4 classes left this semester. I have to go to these classes 4 more times before I get time off until early februrary.

I Do Not interact with anybody in any of my classes beyond the one chick in fashion who said she thinks my mom and my fucking grandma are attractive. She called her a gilf. anyways, I interact with her, and my drama classmates only. okay, I never interact with the mf who started this conversation.

I've spoken to her maybe twice before this. Imma call her M for simplicity.

I'm in the corner, listening to the daycare theme from security breach on loop, the video is just that for 10 hours. I sit in the corner, and despite what my family would tell you, I don't talk in that class. I am pretty much dead quiet.

I'm sitting here, listening to a song that will eventually drive me insane, trying to do my work, which I'm actually working on as I type this, at midnight.

She's sitting in a cluster in the middle of the room, with a bunch of other kids. I hear noise and I look up to see them looking at me, seemingly calling my name. I take out an earbud and go "Yeh?" like an absolute intellectual.

There's a couple mentions about how I always sit in the corner on my own and M asks if I want to join the group chat. There are 4 days left in this semester.

my amazing response?

"Uhhh, I don't know?"

M comes over to my desk and asks if I can help her with the work because "He's ignoring me and you two are like,,, the smartest kids in the class"

please note all I do in class is play on my phone and half listen to the teacher, never study, never ask for help, but just use whatever reading material we get and logic with a large dose of bullshit and speech and debate skills from 3 years ago. I'm fucking stupid guys, so I just sit there and error out for a moment and start saying

"Dude all I do is use logic and-" when she cuts me off and goes

"Yeah! Logic = smartness!"

no.

I mentioned I tend to not interact with people because I get anxious in social situations and I am very awkward around new people and her response?

"If somebody talks to you, like being rude or something, jsut scream and I'll come help"

this person felt the need to ask if I hated her in this conversation earlier.

and she pretty much said "Hey! No need to be socially anxious! If somebody is mean just hit them!" and I'm sitting here internally going "Sir I do not like hurting people, I feel bad"

anyways this continued for a while. just her talking about either "can you help me with the work I don't like this class" or "Do you want to join the group chat?"

I couldn't join the chat btw, I don't have instagram. Or snapchat. I have Reddit, Twitter, Tumblr, and Discord. and even then, I don't use twitter. like, ever. it's purely for mcc shit man.

anyways she called me bestie later in the conversation and I errored out

anyways yes if you see this post... idk

suffer ig

[corancoranthemagicalman]

💜🌻💜🌻💜🌻💜

My grandpa also has great disdain for recent music... he doesn't like anything after the 50s. So I think its funny that he likes Shrek and he'll watch it any time its on tv. I'm not familiar with Top Gun's soundtrack. I'll have to give Take My Breath Away a listen!

My dad words at a university and he used to bring me and my siblings to the international dinners he'd host. Students would always as me what I was studying and eventually when people started talking to me I'd introduce myself by saying I was my dad's daughter and that I was in high school. I'm not sure if any of them were ever hitting on me bc I was, and still am, pretty oblivious to flirtations. It sucks that you had to tell guys you were in high school to get them to back off. Glad to hear they did, though.

I used to be a hufflepuff when I was in university! I re-took the quiz twice about a year ago and was shocked to get Slytherin both times but I've embraced it. Most of the qualities are very positive except for cunning and I don't think that describes me at all.

I totally get that. I had a similar experience meeting my best friend at university. We clicked really fast and even after graduating I still hang out with her once a week. (The teenage drama movie life thing sounds awful but in high school I was definitely also on the outside of my friend circle) It sure has been hard recently to maintain friendships but I have more good friends right now than at any other point in my life.

I'll take your word for it that I give off painting/crocheting vibes! And I agree with you on the winter v. summer thing. Summer is my least favorite season. Partly because of how humid it is in the summer here.

My group just finished a campaign a few months ago and I played a gnome cleric. They started a new campaign but I felt like I needed a break bc the sessions are long and intense even though I really enjoy it. What class do you play?

The sweater is a commission actually! In university I led a crochet for beginners group and there were a few people that just couldn't ever get the hang of it :(

Did I see that you weren't feeling well today? If so I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope tomorrow treats you better 💜 (also sorry this is an entire novel I haven't spoken to anyone all day so I guess you're getting it all)

-🐧🌻

This got SO LONG so bestie I am replying undercut to you. If anyone wants to see me slowly bromance 🐧🌻 anon then read away lol.

I am envisioning your grandpa dancing to Smash Mouth and it brings me great joy. Oh, man, Top Gun has an AMAZING soundtrack. Danger Zone is a classic, but Take My Breath Away is such a romantic song. Please let me know what you think!!!

Aw, that's sort of wholesome though. I'd get that from the older ladies at my church lol. "What are you studying?"/"Algebra, usually." Which was a LAUGH. And to be honest, I'm a flirty person by nature. I think flirting is fun. But to be crude for a moment (and apologies), most of their flirting would be staring at my breasts. :/ But it was SUCH HIGH HOPES when they backed off. Like YES you GO performing the bare minimum by not being attracted to children. Bravo. But really, I've never had a dude flirt with me who wouldn't back off after me shutting them down, minor or not. So I'm very fortunate in that way. But I too can be fairly oblivious? First time I got asked out, I thought he was asking me to hang out with the friend group. Then he was like "... like a date." After I had asked where did we all wanna meet up. Lmaooooo.

We do change as we grow. I've been taking some personality quizzes for school in regards to the PMAI (Pearson-Marr Archetype Indicator) especially and it actually talks a lot about how at different times in your life you'll display different archetypes depending on what you're having to adapt to or overcome. So I think the same is true for Houses. What's peculiar to me about Houses is that when I was younger I was under the understanding that you were your House, right? But the older I got, I prescribe to the "your House is what you admire" type theology. So I might not embody a Hufflepuff in every action, but a Hufflepuff is what I aspire to be. I admire loyalty above all else. Loyalty and kindness. I might not always BE kind. I'm far too hot-headed to be the embodiment of a Hufflepuff, but I admire gentle souls the most. Ergo, Hufflepuff. I've always hated how Slytherins were associated with negative sounding modifiers. Cunning IS a negative word since by definition it's about achieving one's goals through deceit. But I dont understand why being quick-witted and clever couldn't have been the heavier association. I think Ravenclaw's are booksmart and Slytherin are streetsmart. Gryffindors are street tough, while Hufflepuff are ready to roll. Does that make sense? I think the whole cunning/silver-tongued thing was the stupidest idea, because then you are saying narratively that Slytherin IS the evil House. Why have the House at all? On a meta level, Harry begging not to be considered part of the Dark Side despite the actual Voldemort growing inside of him is symbolic in his rejection of Slytherin, but when you go on to merchandise and tell children you are a Slytherin; you're telling children they're evil. They're gonna be evil. And not in "this is the House for brats" way. In the "you either die a villain or live long enough to run away." insane. My point is they're OUR Houses now and I'm saying I think you're clever and quick-witted, and that's pretty Slytherin to me.

I'm very blessed to have her and I'm glad other people get to experience that too. I think everyone is deserving of deep connections like that. And I'm glad to hear you taking time for yourself away from dnd. Our sessions can be exhausting too, but half of my party is my literal blood family and the other half is adopted practically so we usually end up hanging out for half of the session. Makes it way less intense. That sounds like it was a fun character!! I haven't gotten the pleasure to play clerics all that much. Right now I'm in three different campaigns that alternate each week. In one I'm a druid, and that's our 5th edition campaign. I'm playing the new Wildfire from Tasha's and I haven't gotten to flex out the Wildfire Spirit yet, I am having fun. I've got a wolf who is using the sidekick mechanic in that game and he's so much fun to play too. In the other two games, those are 4th editions (the edition I grew up on and learned how to play) and in those I am a ranger and a class known as a Warden. Sort of a fighter/druid class. And the druid and the ranger are both shifters, and the warden is my half-orc. I'm always happy to talk dnd lol. Which cleric were you? Trickster Domain?

Also EWWW HUMIDITY I HATE IT. :(((

Dude, I WISH I could crochet. My fingers are so big tho, bestie. Makes it hard to do anything dexterous.

I'm already feeling much better :)) unfortunately not in time not to bomb half of my project. Whoops. But I'm blaming Glass Shark. He got me sick.

Dont apologize for the novel!! As you can see I'm capable of replying with a novel in turn lol. I hope you had a wonderful day today and that this next week treats you well!! Thank you for the well wishing 💕🌺💕🌺💕🌺💕🌺💕🌺💕