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slapshot-to-the-heart · 4 years

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Death by a Thousand Cuts - j. debrusk

Trying to venture into some new territory, let me know what you think! Title’s from the Taylor Swift song. 4.8k of post-breakup Jake DeBrusk angst, as always, I love hearing feedback! I read all the tags, so feel free to reblog, pop into my inbox, anything!

Wine pairing from someone with zero authority on the subject: a full-bodied Syrah - smooth, fruity, the kind of wine I’d want to drink if I was sad.

My heart, my hips, my body, my love/Trying to find a part of me you didn’t touch

Shadi threw back another shot, wincing as the vodka burned down her throat. Clara rubbed her back sympathetically. “Better?” She shrugged. Alcohol was great for forgetting things, but there were some wounds too fresh and too deep for even a Sazerac to cure. And her wounds were named Jake DeBrusk.

Jake had been her everything, still was her everything, and the idea that she was somehow now in charge of forgetting everything they had shared was more than she could bear. Breakups weren’t something Shadi took lightly, and especially when she had spent the past year falling more in love with him with each breath she took. Forgetting more than a year’s worth of early-morning conversations in his bed, Jake’s hand gently brushing back her hair before kissing her temple and going out to the kitchen to start the coffee pot. Shadi couldn’t start her day without coffee. A year’s worth of games, up in the box with the other WAGs and down in the tunnel, their lips crashing together in the euphoria of a post-win high. A year’s worth of vacations, to Edmonton to visit his family and Dallas to see hers, laying on the white sand beaches of Tahiti in the summer. A year’s worth of falling asleep to him tracing lines between the freckles on her bare back in the glow of the post-sex fog. It wasn’t like she was going to forget any of it anytime soon. And if Shadi was being honest with herself, it wasn’t like she wanted to.

---

Shadi met Jake just after moving into her new apartment with Clara, her best friend from BC, when they decided to celebrate their newfound jobs and independence with a bar crawl. As luck would have it, they never actually made it past the first one. Clara had just finished up her first week as a tenth grade English teacher, and Shadi had the weekend to relax before her marketing analytics post started on Monday.

She wasn't going out to meet someone, not really, but if there was someone attractive enough and charming enough she wasn’t absolutely opposed to spending the night in a bed that wasn’t her own. Shadi sat at the bar, responding to a few texts and sipping her drink as she waited for Clara to return from the bathroom. She wasn’t paying enough attention to her surroundings to notice someone sidle up next to her, getting a little too close for comfort. “Hey,” he said loudly, startling her. Shadi looked up — way up, he was at least six or seven inches taller than her 5’5 — to the stranger’s face, flashing a tight smile. She didn’t know any women who particularly liked to be accosted in the middle of a drink.

“Hey,” she said.

He inched closer. “I’m Darren, nice to meet you.”

As much as she’d really just like to be able to tell the guy to fuck all the way off, Shadi hated that it was a far better decision for her safety and security to just try and tacitly go along with it. Let him down easy.

“Shadi,” she responded.

He whistled, and she internally cringed, trying as subtly as she could to look towards the bathrooms and trying to spot Clara. More than once, they had pretended to be a couple at bars to get each other out of situations exactly like this one. “Shadi,” he said, testing out the name. “What is that? Arabic? Indian?”

Now she visibly cringed, raising her eyebrows. Great, he’s racist as well as a creep. “Neither. I’m Persian.”

“Cool, super cool,” he said, nodding. “So, Shadi, what brings you here?”

“Starting a new job next week,” she said, looking back down at her phone, trying to give him just enough information to keep him from being pissed at her.

Darren finished his drink. “That’s cool, yeah. Good for you. I work in finance. High-level account managing and stuff. It’s a lot of responsibility, but I like the challenge.” Great, add finance bro to the list of reasons why I’ll never go home with this guy, Shadi thought.

“Nice,” Shadi said, looking away and taking a sip of her drink and trying her damndest to make it clear she wasn’t interested.

Darren moved even closer, his hand now resting on her waist as Shadi leaned as far away from him as she could while still staying on her seat, looking frantically around for Clara, or anyone, to bail her out. “You come here with anyone?”

“Uh, yeah,” Shadi said nervously, eyes still sweeping the room. “My boyfriend should be around here somewhere.” Darren didn’t need to know she didn’t have a boyfriend, and as much as she hated that men like him were more likely to leave her alone if they thought she was spoken for than if she told him herself she wasn’t interested, it was the best thing she could do in the moment.

Darren took a cursory glance around the room. “I don’t see anyone coming,” he noted. “You sure about that, Shadi?

“Yes,” she squeaked, as his hand tightened around her waist and she froze like a deer in headlights, too stiff to flag down the bartender.

“It’s polite to look at people when they’re talking to you, or did they not teach that where you’re from?”

Shaking, she turned back to look at him. “I’m from Texas,” she spat.

“I think we could really have some fun together, if you’d just stop being so uptight we could really—” Darren didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence, his arm being forcefully removed from her waist. She swung around, meeting the eyes of her unknown savior, who was too busy glaring at the man across from her to even meet her eyes.

“Seems like you’re having a hard time taking no for an answer,” he said.

Darren looked up, rubbing his wrist from where it had been in a vice grip only moments before. “You the boyfriend?”

The other man didn’t even flinch. “Yeah, I’m the boyfriend. Even if I wasn’t, she clearly doesn’t want anything to do with you, but she’s just too polite to tell you to fuck off. Luckily,” he smirked. “I’m not.”

Darren rolled his eyes, grabbing his half-empty glass and inching away from the bar. “Whatever. Wouldn’t have been worth it anyways.”

Shadi collapsed into her hands as soon as he was out of earshot, breathing shakily. The stranger reached out tentatively, rubbing her shoulder to comfort her. “You okay?”

She leaned back, taking another drink and nodding. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be okay, it’s not like it’s the first time this has happened. He just really didn’t want to leave me alone and I couldn’t find my friend and he didn’t seem to be getting the message that I wasn’t interested.”

He grimaced. “On behalf of my entire gender, I apologize for all the shitty men you have ever had to encounter.”

“Thank you,” she said, laughing slightly and setting her glass back down on the bar. “And thanks for stepping in, you really didn’t have to.”

He shook his head. “I just did what any decent guy would do. I’ve got a sister, girls deserve to feel safe in bars.”

“Regardless,” she added, “I appreciated it. And just so you know,” she said, pausing, “you don’t have to worry about an actual boyfriend coming around. I’ve just found it’s the easiest way for guys to leave me alone.” Shadi surprised herself; she wasn’t normally this bold.

He dipped his head. “Good to know. Probably should properly introduce myself, then. Jake DeBrusk,” he said, sticking his hand out.

“Shadi Azizi.” She shook it, smirking slightly as she took a sip of her drink. “I know.”

He smiled bashfully, scratching his head. “Hockey fan?”

She nodded. “I’ll go to Bruins games when I can make it, but I’m from Dallas, so…” she shrugged.

“You’ve already sold your soul to the Stars,” Jake finished.

Shadi laughed. “Yep. You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can’t take the Texas out of the girl.”

Jake eyed her glass, seeing that she was nearly finished. “Can I get you another?” Shadi nodded after a moment. “Sure.” He caught the bartender’s eye. “What are you drinking?” “Whiskey on the rocks.” Jake leaned back on his stool, clutching his hands over his chest. “A woman after my own heart.”

---

Three months later, it was November, and Shadi was in Jake’s kitchen, doling out Chinese takeout onto two plates. “Beer?” she asked over the counter, to where Jake was flopped on the couch, flipping through channels in hopes of finding something mildly interesting to watch.

“Yes please,” he shot back. He had just gotten back from a road trip that afternoon, eleven days in the Midwest, and there were few things he wanted more than to be back in Shadi’s arms. They had started a sort of unspoken tradition; Shadi had taken to spending the night whenever Jake came back from a road trip, and he wasn’t about to start complaining. He loved his job and he loved his team, but after a week or two of being around them practically 24/7, he didn’t want to waste any time getting back to her.

Shadi padded back towards the living room, sliding a plate of lo mein and fried rice over to Jake, who leaned in and kissed her shoulder. “Thanks, babe,” he said, putting the remote down. “Parks and Rec good with you?”

She nodded, mouth full. “Doesn’t take much to convince me. I’d kill a man for Leslie Knope.”

Jake laughed. Shadi looked over at him, one eyebrow raised. “You think I’m joking?”

He held his free hand up in mock surrender, the other balancing his plate on the arm of the couch. “I should have known better. Will you ever forgive me?”

“Maybe,” Shadi said, scrunching up her nose. “I think I can find it somewhere deep in the recesses of my cold, dead heart.”

Things between Jake and Shadi had gotten pretty serious pretty quickly, certainly more quickly than Jake was expecting. But, as he was realizing, that wasn’t exactly a bad thing. The scene was definitely more domestic than he was used to; it wasn’t unusual for him and Shadi to join some of their friends or the team for a night out at the bars or clubs, but it was just as common to have an evening in. It was nice, being together like this. Domesticity was never something that was quite his style, but as he thought, looking over at Shadi, who was entirely engrossed in Leslie’s valiant attempts to control a town hall meeting, maybe it could become his style.

You said it was a great love, one for the ages/But if the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?

It was the end of January, and Shadi was in Edmonton. Jake had told her about Boston’s bye week about two months earlier, the plan having originally been to drive up to New Hampshire for a week of camping in White Mountain. But then Jake had been selected for the All-Star Team, much to his surprise — not Shadi’s, who had been convinced he’d be picked practically since the season started — and their schedule had been turned on its head. He had decided that it would make more sense to visit his family. Shadi didn’t complain; she had just started to get used to Boston winters, and wasn’t confident in her ability to go a week in a tent in the middle of January.

What surprised her, though, was when he invited her to come with him. She had never met his parents in person before. Over FaceTime, sure, but it wasn’t the same. Jake was initially very shy about extending the invitation, almost as if he wasn’t sure if that was something she wanted or was ready for. His concern was sweet, but Shadi was more touched that he had asked her to come in the first place, and put in her request for vacation time that night.

The flight wasn’t much over six hours, a short layover in Montréal and one connection later and they landed in Edmonton. Shadi met up with Jake just outside of passport control, pulling her pea coat tightly around herself. “Ooh,” she said, breathing out shakily. “Bit chilly here, no?”

Jake laughed. Oh, if only she knew. “Wait till you get outside, babe. It’s January in the middle of Alberta.”

“How bad can it get?” Shadi asked naively. Pretty bad, as she found out the moment they stepped outside the terminal into the freezing air. She was suddenly very grateful her parka was in her bag, a Patagonia jacket that had been one of her first big purchases when she moved to Boston. Jake was having a very good fun time poking fun at her in the three minutes it took for his parents to pull up.

“Aww, is my Texas girl cold? Is she having trouble dealing with real weather?”

Shadi glared at him. “Shut up.”

His parents were incredible, kind and welcoming from the moment they picked them up at the airport. They drove them back to Jake’s childhood home, where his sister greeted her with a hug. She had visited Boston a few weeks prior, her and Shadi immediately getting along thanks to their shared taste in coffee orders and music. They had swapped Spotify playlists more than one time since her visit.

The week she spent in Edmonton was amazing. Even though she may have been a little bit apprehensive from the start, all of her worries were just distant memories by the time they had to get back on the plane. She had always been good with parents; whether it was her best friend or her boyfriend, they had always liked her. Making a good impression and being unfailingly respectful, especially to her elders, was a value that had been instilled in her from a young age. She had brought a tin of qurabiya on the plane as a gift for them, after a half-dozen Google searches to make sure she could bring them across the border and a twenty minute long phone call with her mom to make sure she was using the right type of almonds. They loved them, and seeing the tin already empty on the third day of her trip filled her heart.

“She’s really good for you, you know,” his mom said, as he was packing his suitcase for the flight back. “You’re still you, fun and spontaneous and caring. But you’re a more mature, thoughtful version of yourself. And I think that’s thanks to Shadi.”

Jake blushed, shoving his toothbrush in his toiletry bag. “She is. She’s great, Mom. We have so much fun together, and she really does bring out the best in me.” He paused for a moment. “I think I’m in love with her.”

His mom raised her eyebrows, not surprised and certainly not disappointed, but a little astonished that he had realized himself what she saw from the moment they had landed in Canada. She had just been waiting for him to admit it. “You do?” she asked, a hint of a smile on her face.

He nodded, more sure this time. “I’m in love with her, Mom.”

Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand/Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans

“You doing okay, babe?” Clara asked gently, one hand on Shadi’s back as she nursed her third beer of the night. Shadi reached up to try and wipe away her tears. Thank God she hadn’t worn any mascara. She nodded, trying to flash her best friend a smile, but it didn’t meet her eyes.

Shadi hadn’t ever been the kind of person to put up walls. That was Jake’s thing. But she was a great actress, and if Clara hadn’t known her as well as she did, she wouldn’t have been able to call her on it.

“Bullshit, Shadi. You’re not fine and I know it. You know it.” God, Clara could read her like a book. It wasn’t okay, she wasn’t okay, and she sure as hell wasn’t over him. She didn’t know when she would be over him. If ever.

They said that Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it burned in one. If Rome was a metaphor for their relationship, Shadi would say there’s never been a more accurate phrase. All it took was five minutes for Jake to break her heart, for the world they had built together to come crumbling apart around her. As much as she hated it, there was still a part of her that couldn’t help but try to look back on that night. Shadi almost called bullshit on him the moment he said he was breaking up with her, because he had never even brought it up before, and that’s not something you just drop on someone like he did, right? But she didn’t, she hadn’t gotten closure and hadn’t gotten a reason, an actual reason, and so any curly hair she saw out of the corner of her eye that night she kept hoping was Jake’s, and any cocky smile from some guy trying to buy her a drink — she’d let them, for the free alcohol, but they never got a conversation out of her — she kept wishing was his.

---

It was September, and Shadi felt like she was walking on air. She and Jake had celebrated their one year anniversary a month ago, and things couldn’t be going better. Training camp for the new season had started, which had begun to take up more of his time than she maybe would have liked, but she was dealing with it. They both were. It was like Shadi had told him two months into their relationship, and countless times since: she knew what she was signing up for, knew that sometimes she would have to take a backseat to hockey, and she was okay with that. Having Jake some of the time was better than not having him at all.

So when Jake had texted her that morning, asking if she was free to come over that night, she thought nothing of it. Well, scratch that, she thought a lot of it. It had been about two weeks since they had had a proper date night; while she loved him sneaking into her apartment to sleep for a few hours before he had to get up or meeting in the mornings for coffee and bagels, they were in desperate need of some alone time. Jake hadn’t exactly been distant since their anniversary, but it had definitely seemed like something was on his mind. And when she asked Clara, or her older sister Yasmin, or Hannah, her best friend in Houston, they all said the same thing. If nothing seemed like it was going wrong, but he was seeming distant, but they were still communicating, then there was really only one possibility, at least according to them. He was going to propose.

So Shadi took a little longer in front of the mirror, put on her good jeans instead of just a pair of sweats, ran a comb through her hair. She grabbed her car keys, locking the door to her apartment and nervously pressing on the elevator button. Why was she nervous? She was in love with Jake. She saw a future with him, a future together. If tonight was going to be the start of forever, there was nothing to be afraid of. I wonder what Jake’s doing now, Shadi thought. Was he waiting for her on the couch? Trying to cook pasta, the only dinner he could reliably make without burning? Pacing back and forth in his room, turning over the ring box in his hand? The ring. What did it look like? Did he buy it new, or was it a family heirloom? Did he ask any of the guys on the team for tips, or did — Stop it, Shadi reminded herself. He doesn’t have to be proposing. We do nights in almost every week. Maybe he just wants to watch a movie. But in the back of her mind, as she pulled out of the parking garage, was the possibility that she was about to walk into one of the most important nights of her life. And it was, but not in the way she thought. Not in the way she wanted.

Jake’s place was only ten minutes away from hers; before she even knew it, she was killing the engine and walking up the stairs to his door. She tapped her knuckles against the wood. It was barely ten seconds before Jake opened it up, smiling at her. “Hey, thanks for coming over,” he said, leading her into the living room and pressing a kiss against her cheek, lingering a little longer than usual

Shadi knew something was off even as they sat on the couch thirty minutes later, Star Wars playing on the screen in front of them. If she was being honest, she knew something was wrong from the moment she got there. Jake was acting stuff, not distant, but almost confused. LIke he had something on his mind that he couldn’t quite spit out. And it didn’t seem like a proposal. “Alright,” Shadi said, huffing and propping herself up on one arm to face Jake. “What’s up.”

To his credit, he didn’t mince words, didn’t play dumb. He knew better than to insult her intelligence like that, and she knew better than to believe him. “You noticed, huh?”

She rolled her eyes. “I love you for a lot of reasons, J, but you really do have a terrible poker face.”

Jake sighed, running a hand through his hair, leaving a piece hanging in front of his eye. “Alright,” he said, in that kind of I-know-what-I-need-to-say-but-I-don’t-want-to-say-it tone, the one that she wasn’t expecting. The one that never means good news. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking on my life, our lives over the past thirteen months we’ve been together, and I’ve loved every minute of the time that we’ve spent together.” Okay, Shadi furrowed her brows, where’s he going with this? “I’ve also been doing a lot of thinking about my priorities in life, where they are right now and where I think they should be. And I’ve realized that,” he swallowed, “I’m at a place in my life where I need to be focusing on hockey.” Oh no. “And I don’t think I’m in a position where I can have a relationship and be as invested in my career as I need to be.” Oh God.

Shadi sat up, stunned. “Are you...Are you breaking up with me?”

Jake nodded his head jerkily. “And I want you to know that I don’t regret anything about our relationship. I don’t have anything bad to say about you, or the time we’ve spent together, or anything. I just don’t think I’m able to give you, or our relationship, the attention it deserves. You deserve someone who’s going to be able to dedicate a hundred percent to you, and as much as I wish I could, I don’t think I’m that person.”

“So, you’re saying I’m a distraction?” Shadi asked slowly, her eyes shiny with unshed tears.

Jake ran a hand through his hair, tangling his fingers in his curls. “Fuck. No. That’s not it. I just don’t know if I’m in a place where I’m able to juggle two things that are so important, and that I want to dedicate this much time to.”

She scoffed. “Are you really trying to pull the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ line with me, DeBrusk?” That stung. She never called him by his last name, not even when they started dating. It was J, or babe, or even Jake if she was particularly annoyed, but never just DeBrusk.

“Would it make you feel better if I was?”

Shadi shook her head. “It’s worse. Don’t you know that it’s worse? Because then there’s not anything I feel like I could have done differently. Nothing I could have done to change your mind.” Her eyes drifted down to her right hand, where the gorgeous pearl ring Jake had gotten her for their anniversary just a month prior sat on her ring finger. “You said you were going to marry me one day,” Shadi said, sliding her fingertips down to the band and gently twisting it off. Her hand felt bare, even though it had only been there for a month. Jake’s breath caught in his throat. Never make a promise you can’t keep.

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

God, sometimes Shadi just felt so fucking stupid. She almost felt naive, shortsighted from not listening to her friends in Boston, or people back home who warned her about Jake.“You know his reputation. You know how hockey players are” Shadi couldn’t count the number of times people had told her that, and the number of times she hadn’t listened. “He doesn’t stick with any one girl.” “I know you like him, but he’s only going to break your heart.” But the thing was, he hadn’t. Jake had made it clear, straight from the start of their relationship, that they were exclusive, and he backed it up. She wore his jersey to games, went as his date to all the Bruins fundraisers, and took the week off to come with him when he was selected for the All-Star Game. Jake knew his reputation better than anyone, and that’s why he was so committed to making sure she knew that he wasn’t the kind of guy everyone kept trying to peg him as. And Shadi had never felt so much pride then when she was able to turn around, prove them wrong, and say: “You see? He’s never done anything to hurt me, and he’s not about to start now.”

But she couldn’t, not anymore. She couldn’t, because they all had been right and he had broken his promises and her heart and now she was crying in a bar with her best friend on a Friday night and had no clue how to get a grip of her feelings. She pounded back another beer, barely even stopping to swallow before ordering a fourth round. Or was it a fifth? She didn’t know, and at that point, she really didn’t care.

I get drunk, but it's not enough/’Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby

Sometime past one but before her next door neighbor’s chihuahua always started barking at two, Shadi stumbled into her apartment. She unstrapped her heels and placed them haphazardly by the door as she walked down to the bathroom, reaching around the cupboard for her toothpaste. Teeth were brushed and flossed, and she had shed nearly all of her clothes by the time she reached her bed. She grabbed the nearest sweatshirt to pull over her body as makeshift pajamas, only half paying attention. Shadi was too tired to look too closely; if she had, she would have noticed that it was a Bruins hoodie, the very first one Jake had ever given to her, a month and a half into their relationship.

It seemed like Shadi had barely drifted off to sleep when she was woken up by the sound of frantic knocks on her door. Her first thought was something was wrong with Clara, who lived down the hall, that she wasn’t feeling well or needed to be talked out of texting her ex-girlfriend. It had happened before. But then she realized that Clara would have called first. Then her thought was a fire somewhere, but she didn’t smell smoke and her alarm hadn’t gone off. The knocking persisted. “Okay, okay, I’m coming. You’re going to wake up the whole building,” Shadi grumbled, throwing back the covers and padding out to the living room, pants be damned.

She tried to wipe the sleep out of her eyes, the harsh light of the hallway fluorescents the first thing she noticed as the door swung open. The second thing was the person standing in front of it. It was Jake. His hand was frozen in the air, like he was about to knock for a fourth time if she hadn’t answered. “What are you doing here?” she whispered, her voice small. She didn’t trust it to speak any louder.

Jake’s breath hitched as he noticed what she was wearing. His sweatshirt. He stuffed his hand into his jeans pocket, pulling out her pearl ring. The same one she had taken off the day he left, the same one he had given her when his thoughts of the future were filled with big houses and weddings and kids’ birthday parties. He held it out to her. “I had to see you.”

#hockey imagine #hockey smut #nhl imagine #nhl smut #jake debrusk #boston bruins #hockey #hockey imagines #hockey writing #nhl #nhl imagines #nhl writing

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katehuntington · 4 years

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2020, 1st edition Disclaimer: ‘Kate Huntington’s Author & Fanfiction Recommendations’ is a platform for writers, to show appreciation for their work and expand their audience. I do not claim to be the author of these stories, neither do I own them. Read each writer’s warnings carefully, most of them are rated +18.

Without further ado, here is my list of recommendations.

One shots

“While You Sleep” - written by @foreverwayward Fluff - Dean Winchester - 617 words A heartwarming little fic about Dean living the domesticated life we all wish he could have. The writer has a very clever way of storytelling and the end might come as a surprise, only adding to the emotion it already brought along.

“Imagine” - written by @pennydrabbles Fluff - Dean x Reader - 800 words ‘Imagine calling Dean after a bad day and saying you miss him,’ says the header of this marvelous little story. It’s soothing, with strong descriptions, yet never over the top. Simplicity isn’t necessarily a bad word. It takes skill to not overy describe a scene and let the tale be told by the personal emotion of the reader. The author is able to do this with such elegance, that you actually feel Dean’s comfort.

“Heartbeats” - written by @there-must-be-a-lock Fluff - Dean x Castiel - 930 words Castiel is fascinated by the human heart, but doesn’t quite understand it, until he becomes human himself. I’ll start by saying that I don’t ship Dean and Cas together, but I do appreciate the people who do. What this little piece of art does is incredible, however, because while I was reading, I found myself rooting for them. The writer does a great job by using the literal human heart as a backbone of this story. Intriguing and very well executed.

“Everything That’s Yet To Come” - written by @fictionalabyss Fluff - Dean x Reader - 812 words Dean experiences what the future beholds, with the people who he wishes could be there. The author took me by the hand through this moving little one shot, which feels like a collection of greatest hits and wishes come true. It offers peace and closure not only for the older Winchester brother, but for the reader as well. Beautiful piece of writing.

“Take A Drunk Girl Home” - written by @amanda-teaches Fluff - Dean x Reader - 1869 words Dean taking care of others; it’s his nature and shows what a kind soul he truly is. The situation sketched here is no exception, and it’s softer than one can imagine. The pace is steady and the balance between fluff and comedy is just right. A lovely read.

“New Beginnings” - written by @our-jensen-ackles-love Fluff - Dean x Reader - 1665 words New Year’s Eve; a new start, a new life and plenty of reason to celebrate. A lovely ‘feel good’ story that makes us forget about the monsters, pain and loss Supernatural is known for. The level of fluff is equivalent to cuddling with puppies.

“When He Cries” - written by @revengingbarnes Angst/fluff - Dean x Reader - 1894 words When the woman who Dean loves falls victim during a case, the hunter has trouble dealing with the aftermath. And, boy... Does that hurt to witness. This is one of the most breathtaking stories I have stumbled on. The realism that is used to describe the gruesome and horrific angst, the emotion that is laced in every word, had me clutching my chest while reading. It’s is a beautiful piece of art.

“Nobody” - written by @soaringeag1e Angst - Dean x Reader - 2561 words This one shot reminds us why we should never stay angry with a loved one and let a fight unresolved, because what if something bad happens and we won’t have the chance to make it right? The writer gives a great sense to that fear and having to watch Dean go through this nightmare is truly heartbreaking.

“The Demon Inside You” - written by @foreverwayward Smut/angst - Demon!Dean x Reader - 4375 words Curing Dean from the demon that he has become proves to be difficult when he’s so hard to resist. What else is hard to resist, is this beautiful pitch black one shot. I don’t read Demon!Dean fiction often, because it still feels foreign to see the character who I love so much turn into something evil. This however, is so gripping and well written, that the darkness swallows up the beholder. Rough, hot, sad, narcissistic, all these ingredients packed up in one hell of a story.

“Curves And Edges” - written by @kittenofdoomage Smut/fluff/angst - Dean x Reader - 4375 words This equally sweet, sexy, funny and sad story is a big shout out to all women who think they don’t meet the beauty standards and feel like they will never be good enough to get noticed. It is one thing to replace a name with Y/N and call it a reader’s insert; it’s a gift to make every person reading this feels like they are the character in this story. The author handles every woman’s insecurities with grace, making her words both relatable and soothing. Her spot on version of Dean reminds us that we are all beautiful, desired and unique.

“Hold Her Tight” - written by @waywardbaby Fluff/smut - Dean x Reader - 2955 words ‘A story of a deep need to feel someone close to you’, is how the author describes her work. I couldn’t have said it better, because this one shot isn’t about sex; it’s about love making, and there’s a difference. What I also appreciate, is that Y/N takes the time to pamper herself. We all deserve some self care.

“Watch Your F!cking Mouth!” - written by @impala-dreamer Smut/comedy - Dean x Reader - 1984 words Dean falls under a literal curse, and it’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I was wheezing, couldn’t breathe and died laughing. It’s astonishing how the writer can juggle comedy and sex without the two taking each other down. An uplifting read.

“Thank God For Sexual Frustration” - written by @winchester-fantasies Smut - Dean x Reader - 4398 words God had nothing to do with writing this sinful story; we can thank the author for that. When Y/N is on a dry spell that has her frustrated, Dean helps her out in the best way imaginable. Delicious smut served in three courses, because we all know Dean keeps his lady satisfied.

Series:

“Life For Rent” - written by @winchest09 Smut/angst/fluff - Mobster!Dean x Escort!Reader - WIP This amazing series follows an experienced, smart and resilient escort, who is ruled by contracts, money and aliases. When Dean becomes her client, he makes it his mission to understand what this interesting woman is hiding. Conspiracies, deceat, crime. A strong family bond, blossoming love, oh, not to mention the sex. This series is intriguing beyond imagination and certainly not just another mobster fanfiction. The writing is smart and I could tell from the first paragraph that it’s loaded with hints and foreshadowing, but I couldn’t pick them out. This triggers a curiosity like an itch I can’t quite scratch away until I finish reading this story. And so I wait eagerly and drop everything the second a new chapter comes out. An absolute must read!

“Findings” - written by @kathaswings Angst/smut/fluff - Dean x Reader - finished. Update: Sadly, this series is no longer online This story starts out with what seems to be a routine demon hunt, until Dean and his brother find a frightened five year old survivor amongst the blood and corpses. Keeping the smart little Mackenzie safe and getting her back to her older sister proves to be difficult, because this case is a whole lot bigger than they anticipated and is likely to change their lives forever. This is one of my favorite Supernatural series and I revisited it recently. The overall story arc is a mystery I just had to unravel and I couldn’t put it down if I wanted to. The bond between Dean and Mackenzie is so precious. Writing a child isn’t easy. I’ve read plenty of books and seen plenty of films in which the maturity the creators added wasn’t natural, but this author handles Mac’s dialogue amazingly well. What’s also interesting is the jumps from point of view between Dean and Y/N, giving very personal perspectives on the gripping story.

“When You Least Expect It” - written by @coffee-obsessed-writer Fluff/angst/smut - Jensen Ackles x Musician!Reader - WIP This gorgeously written slow burn series kicks off when Jensen visits the idyllic town of Seaside. After a bad breakup he keeps his mind occupied with the organisation of a music festival, hoping to find a musician that fits the vibe he has in mind. He meets a spirited, undiscovered performer, not only her voice catching him by surprise. A friendship blossoms, with potential to grow into something more, but will their past allow the love they feel for each other? Talking about an epic love story, but it’s so much more than that. The music that plays such an important factor, the setting that is Seaside. The fabulous supporting characters Bri, Rob, Jason and Jared, the wardrobe, not to mention the wonderful little gems and details that this author weaved into the story, showing how much love she has put into it. This is without a shadow of a doubt my favorite RPF I’ve come across.

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed the work of the authors above, don’t be afraid to let them know. I’m sure they will appreciate it. Feel free to share!

If you have any suggestions or would like a tag in the future, drop a request in my inbox or send me a message.

Love, Kate

‘Kate Huntington’s Author & Fanfiction Recommendations’ taglist: @adoptdontshoppets @fangirlxwritesx67 @idksupernatural @indecisive20something @tranquility-or-chaos @winchest09 @wingedcatninja

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altumvidetur · 4 years

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Pacific Rim: Newmann Fic Recs

So, I was thinking about the coronavirus pandemic and what I could do to help people out. I’m isolated because I’m at higher risk, so I can’t really offer to go out for my elderly neighbors or my family… but I thought I could try to help keep people entertained.

Because I don’t have an AO3 account right now, I’ve been compiling fic recs for my own amusement for a year or so. And I thought – maybe that’s the time to share these with everyone? So everyone will have plenty of things to read while they have to stay at home, or even to escape anxiety a little bit if you’re forced to go out.

Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.

I haven’t managed to read the whole Newmann tag yet (started on page 183, am now on page 77). From what I’ve gathered, most of these recs are from before Pacific Rim Uprising. I watched that movie (although I wish I hadn’t), so feel free to discuss it. I hope you like them!

“The Things That Stay” ‘verse, by singagainsoon

a collection of non-linear moments, snapshots, tiny dots on an endless timeline

i would kill to make you feel, by singagainsoon

Hermann gets really red when he’s mad - his ears, his cheeks, his stupid fucking cute nose. Even his neck gets these big red spots on it. It’s funny. It’s really, seriously funny.

i’ll be a rockin’, rollin’ bitch for you, by singagainsoon

“Don’t be foolish, Newton. I can think of a hundred better things for you to do with that mouth-“

Entomologist AU, by singagainsoon

Two weeks ago, he’d been in the midst of furiously tapping out an absolutely incensed email to the man who somehow managed to consistently infuriate him from another department, even, and what Hermann would have given then to strangle him, truly - and then Dr. Geiszler himself had appeared in Hermann’s doorway, toeing the carpet with his scuffed up Doc Martens and asking if they might try to talk things out over dinner.

Hermann hadn’t known it was a date.

they did the mash!, by singagainsoon

obligatory newt-wears-a-sexy-halloween-costume-and-hermann-has-to-rail-him-because-he-can’t-help-himself ficlet!! tis the season!!

(video) call me at any time, by singagainsoon

When Newt finds himself away from Hermann for a business trip of sorts, they figure out fairly quickly that they won’t last until Newton comes home.

Good Vibrations, by singagainsoon

“Newton, are you quite certain about this?”

Newt smiles, gives the odd-shaped dildo in his hand a teasing wave and sets it aside in favor of the vibrator. His face seems to hint at something along the lines of Funny Thing To Say When You’ve Just Had A Dildo In Your Ass, but he doesn’t say it.

my lovely, talented friend and fellow writer gaby commissioned me to write this piece and let me tell you i had the time of my life (as did hermann, i’m sure)

A Certain Step Towards Falling In Love, by singagainsoon

“You’re terribly lucky, darling, that my father is away,” he says, voice low, smoothing his palm over Newton’s wind-tousled hair.

Eating In, by singagainsoon

It really was supposed to be just a massage.

you make me feel so young, by zach_stone

In the wake of saving the world, Hermann decided to appreciate the little things.

Or, Hermann and Newt go grocery shopping. And, because it’s Newt, shenanigans ensue.

seven minutes in heaven, by zach_stone

Hermann was enjoying a quiet, peaceful morning when Newton burst into the lab and shoved both of them into a closet.

in other words, i love you, by zach_stone

Newt is having a difficult day. Hermann has an idea to make it better.

hold me in this wild, wild world, by zach_stone

Hermann didn’t often allow himself to cry. Humanity was barreling towards the end of days, and he simply didn’t have time to fall to pieces, not when people needed him — needed his work. But four rangers had died. He decided he could allow himself one small moment of grief.

–

Or, some Hermann-centric hurt/comfort because I just want to give him a hug. Set pre-canon.

it might be over soon, by zach_stone

To celebrate a victory, Newt steals a bottle of booze and he and Hermann drink, argue, and maybe finally act on their feelings.

hey i just met you (and this is crazy), by zach_stone

Newt Geiszler accidentally texts the wrong number when trying to message his roommate Raleigh, and instead winds up texting Hermann Gottlieb, who he’s never met.

(AKA a college texting AU that I promise was absolutely necessary)

worthy of celebration, by zach_stone

It’s a well-known fact around the Shatterdome that Hermann does not like his birthday. This year, Newt’s determined to change that.

lab-appropriate decor, by zach_stone

“For god’s sake, Newton, that is wildly inappropriate,” Hermann snapped. “Those things are not cute, they are abominations. I don’t know why I’m surprised, once again you prove that you have no tact —” “Oh, give it a rest, Hermann,” Newton retorted, rolling his eyes. “It’s not an abomination, it’s two feet tall and made of plastic.”

Or, some backstory to the one of the kaiju figures in Hermann’s lab in Uprising.

The Geiszler & Gottlieb Post-Saving-the-World Lecture Tour, by zach_stone

Following Newt and Hermann as they tour universities, argue across podiums, and fall in love.

feel your heartlines, by zach_stone

Newt and Hermann cuddling on the couch at the end of a lazy summer day.

We Don’t Skip A Beat, by decadent_mousse

Summary by me: Newt, Hermann, and their heartbeat over the years.

the lure of adventure, by zach_stone

Newt is a reckless treasure hunter. Hermann is an intrepid journalist. On their search for some long-lost treasure, they run into a little more trouble than they bargained for.

AU based loosely on the Uncharted video game series - no knowledge of the games needed to understand the fic!

wouldn’t it be nice, by zach_stone

Newt and Hermann spend a day at the beach.

take your time, make it slow, by zach_stone

Hermann was far from shy in bed, but was quick to brush off Newt’s insistent (and one hundred percent correct, Newt might add) claims that he was the sexiest person to walk the earth. Well, if Hermann wouldn’t believe his words, then maybe he’d believe his actions. And Newt was nothing if not a man of action.

–

Prompt fill for Newmann Porn Fest 2018: “Body Worship” !!

when you are close to me, i shiver, by zach_stone

When the heating goes out in the lab, Newt comes up with a great idea on how to stay warm.

–

Another fic for the Newmann Porn Fest 2018! Prompt was “huddling together for warmth” ;)

it suits you, by zach_stone

“Newton, for goodness’ sake, can we just — no.” Hermann frowned at the selections Newt held up in front of him. A pair of overalls and a red-and-black flannel shirt, both Newt’s. “I am not wearing dungarees.” “Okay, first of all, cute that you call them dungarees,” Newt said, grinning. “Second of all, you would look very cute in these, they’re seasonal, and I am not kidding when I say you’ll ruin your slacks if you wear them to a farm.” He wiggled the overalls in Hermann’s direction, the buckles on the braces jingling as he did so. Hermann let out a long-suffering sigh, mostly for show. He really did need to invest in a pair of jeans.

–

Fic for the Newmann SFW Fest! Prompts were “sharing clothes/personal items” and “pumpkin/apple picking”

ease my slumber, by zach_stone

Newt can’t sleep; luckily, Hermann’s got a really soothing voice.

–

Or, a conversation about how Hermann would have a good voice for ASMR turned into this.

pick up and start again, by zach_stone

“This,” Hermann says imperiously, glaring at Newt from the other side of the elevator, “is your fault.”

Newt whips around to face him so fast he almost loses his balance. “My fault?! How the hell is this my fault?!” He gestures wildly at the elevator door. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I forgot it was my personal responsibility to make sure this piece of shit elevator is maintained so I don’t get trapped in it with the most annoying person in the Shatterdome —”

“You’re always trapped with yourself though, aren’t you?” Hermann sneers, and Newt lets out a hysterical bark of laughter. This cannot be happening. Of all the times for the elevator to break down between floors, it has to happen now, when he and Hermann are in the midst of a fight that’s quickly blown itself out of proportion.

–

Newt and Hermann get stuck in an elevator, and are forced to work out some of their shit.

just your touch could cure my lonesome blood, by zach_stone

Four times all Newt needed was a hug from Hermann, and one time it was the other way around.

(Or, sentimental cuddling: the fic.)

Heart and Soul, by zach_stone

A quiet day in the lab is interrupted when Newt coerces Hermann into playing piano with him.

My contribution to The Last Line of Defense Zine (spring 2019)!

Lullaby & Rain, by j_gabrielle

It still blows his mind, still makes him stop in his frenetic need to move, speak and think whenever he remembers that Hermann…

Whatever Hermann is to him these days.

Carry Me To You, by j_gabrielle

For the prompt on the kink meme that asked for; Hermann/Newton. Lab sex

the world ablaze, that’s the best for me, by postcardmystery

Summary by me: Newt and Hermann are two unstoppable forces of nature.

Please, Sir, May I Have Another, by eigengrau

It isn’t until Newt is bent over the desk, papers and glass specimen jars strewn about like the debris of a hurricane, white-knuckling the hard stainless steel with his pants around his ankles, that he realizes the gravity of the situation.

Hide and Seek, by DoubleStashed

Summary by me: Hermann Gottlieb - life and love for Newt Geiszler.

pull the trigger without thinking, by liginamite

It’s manageable for the first few days. Shared emotions, shared thoughts, words spoken in unison. But it’s only when they share a nightmare born of memories that it finally occurs to them that maybe this isn’t going to go away.

Rechtsbrecher, by Ezlebe

“If you’ve lost your key again, you’re not getting another,” Hermann says, sidestepping past Newton’s hunched form on the steps.

Darling, by BeeLove

In which Newton rides Hermann for all he’s worth. Or at least tries to.

unravelling, by kiyala

It’s been a while since Newton’s taken his meds. Hermann begins to notice.

All of Your Flaws and All of My Flaws, by CinnamonCake

Hermann is still there tomorrow and the day after and Newton tries to not break his face with the door again.

and i fell fine, by ohgod

The other night I dreamt of knives, continental drift divide –

what history has given me, by kiyala

In which Newton is a girl and she really doesn’t have the time for your shit.

Solving For X, by griesly

No matter what opinion Doctor Gottlieb had proclaimed concerning his tattoos on numerous occasions, Newt knew the score. He’d glimpsed a heady rush of somewhat mortified appreciation, just an old memory surfacing in the Drift from the first time Newt rolled up his sleeves in the lab. He could still feel it like a taut string in Hermann’s mind, in the same way he knew his lab partner was too surly to ever admit it. It was all tangled up with his impression of the way Newt approached the world, a precisely calibrated instrument in one hand and a nail-bat in the other. Newt had to smile at the way Hermann saw him, a churlish adolescent and a half-mad genius all wrapped up in a hurricane.

…or, sometimes even the sharpest minds in the PPDC can be excused for a being a bit dense.

Towards, by orphan_account

Based vaguely off the Lemony Snicket quote: “When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.”

Hermann finds Newt in the lab after the clock stops, and realizes that sometimes all you can do is wait.

Dear Diary,, by ohgod

That is way, way, WAY too close to my whole InuYasha phase. Do-over!

the night will go on, by ohgod

Mako is sheltered, Herc is old, Raleigh doesn’t want to know about any of this, and Tendo is a perpetual asshole.

I Get My Kicks Above the Waistline, Sunshine, by ambitiousbutrubbish

Summary by me: Newton’s exploration of his asexuality.

corpus callosum, by hieronyma

1 + 1 = 1.

when it’s broken, it’s perfect, by liginamite

Love is not divided up into neat little graphs and numbers and theorems, able to be charted if one only took the time and effort to do so. No, love is… it is unpredictable and volatile. Hermann doesn’t really do unpredictable and volatile, but with Newt he doesn’t have much of a say in the matter.

After the Rockets Calm, by callmejude

written for the kink meme prompt: “The morning after Newt and Hermann sleep together for the first time, Hermann comes over all ridiculously British and can’t cope with the intimacy and loss of inhibition. Newt is having none of that nonsense and tells him to quit fussing and come back to bed for snuggles.”

behind us, by kiyala

After the Breach is closed, Newt asks Hermann to go to Boston with him. Hermann doesn’t leave.

They Say It’s Your Birthday, by callmejude

for the kink meme prompt: These two have worked together for many years, and obviously have had to continue working through special occasions, including their birthdays. I know they strongly disliked each other, but deep down they are good friends and I’d love to see anything (slashy or friendshippy) showing how they acknowledge or celebrate birthdays. I’m betting Newt is secretly into baking and Hermann comes in one day on his birthday not expecting anyone to even know, only to find a Kaiju shaped cake on his desk with a sparkler or a candle stuck messily in the centre. Or or or Newt comes in on his 30th birthday and he’s like depressed and absurdly quiet for the day cause he’s not ready to be that old and Hermann realizes why he’s being all docile so he takes off at lunch only to return with pizza and stuff to cheer Newt up and celebrate his birthday. OR YOU KNOW ANYTHING YOU WANT.

within reason, by kiyala

Newt goes to the Skull Temple after the Breach is closed. Hermann goes with him.

pull you through the mirror (before you come undone), by griesly

The War is over. The war is over, and everyone else has something important to do and somewhere else to be except Newt.

shaken, by kiyala

Newton has nightmares. Sometimes, Hermann has them too.

Imagine Sisyphus Happy, by Jenni_Snake

They’re colonists… we’ve practically terraformed it for them. -Dr. Newton Geiszler

“The thing we saw with the Europeans was that they wanted their new world enough: they didn’t care who stood in their way.” -Dr. Melanie Mountain Horse

“Do not rely not on the likelihood of the enemy’s not coming, but on our own readiness to receive them.” -Sun Tsu

“The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor. … I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain. One always finds one’s burden again. … One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” -Albert Camus

How The Light Gets In, by griesly

He’d told Hermann time and time again that he didn’t love the kaiju, he studied them with a curiosity born from a life-long fascination with the giants of the earth. Newt had always been the dinosaur kid – still was, if he was being honest with himself, and the kaiju were the biggest, most awe inspiring terrors he’d ever seen.

the body is not an apology, by BeeLove

In which Hermann triggers some of Newton’s insecurities and strives to make up for it.

When Two Substances Collide, by Emileesaurus and ripkord

Doctors Geiszler and Gottlieb — the first ones in and the last ones out. Thirteen scenes from the countdown to the end of the world.

Scar, by mlle

A tiny thing written for Jaegercon Bingo.

Not every tattoo makes a scar.

I’ve got nothing to say but it’s ok, by madness_and_smiles

Newt’s burned into Hermann’s brain now, like an itch he can’t scratch. Whenever they’re in the same room together – which Newt likes to make sure is almost always – there’s the low hum at the back of his mind telling him Newt is there and Newt is feeling and breathing and sometimes they feel and breathe in unison and it makes Hermann drop his chalk.

in which kaiju guts were not part of the wedding vows, by orphan_account

“You’ve got your glower face on,” Newt remarked above him, and Hermann opened his eyes just to scowl at Newt’s concerned face.

“I am a thread away from murdering my own science team, so, yes, I suppose a glower here and there would not go amiss.”

Seeing in Color, by what_alchemy

The Dr. Geiszler Hermann had found in the publications — printed pages worn with constant handling and tucked into his briefcase for easy access — was an eloquent scientist whose work functioned at a level far above almost anyone else Hermann had ever encountered in the field, and yet he neither patronized his readers nor expressed himself in the inexplicable jargon which so infected much academic work. He was singular in his intelligence. Hermann thought this was a man he could understand — and who could understand him in turn.

More fool he.

Kämpfen, by Huntsmonsters

“The point is that Hermann loves numbers like they were his children, except that Hermann hates children. He loves them and the way they go together the way Newt loves every sample that enters his collection, the way he loves tattoo needles and his books of scribbled anatomical drawings and the harried, barely legible, 4 in the morning notes scrawled around them when the first pieces of a freshly dead Kaiju come in. These are the tools with which they carve themselves, the knives and chisels and guides, the planes on which their shapes are made. Hermann is held up by his cane, but it isn’t the reason he’s standing. They’ve both gone through the rabbit hole and come out again with something clenched in their fists. ”

In which arguments are had over equations and entrails, vivisections are banned, and Newt uses ink to prepare for the possibility of death.

I Was the Match And You Were The Rock, by griesly

Written for the Jaegercon Bingo Square: ‘The Drift’

'Hermann is strong and solid and stable even if no one else at the PPDC would ever think so, Newt knows so, and come to think of it, he always has. He just never knew the man’s mind would be so goddamn beautiful, so bright and full of purpose and satisfaction at a job well done that somehow, impossibly, included him.’

Lucky Number Seven, by griesly

'Newton?’ Hermann called out, only to hear an answering 'Shhh!’ issue from behind a moving curtain. He appeared to have cordoned off an area in the back corner of the lab with heavy screens, labeled 'Light-Sensitive Specimens – DO NOT TOUCH.’ Newton poked his head around the corner with a slightly manic grin.

'Lock the door,’ he advised before motioning Hermann enthusiastically over to a break in a thick curtain. Hermann frowned and paced across the room, wondering what could possibly be so important and so secretive that Newton would have to obfuscate its very existence.

Whatever it was, Hermann was certain he wasn’t going to like it.

autoclave, by cynicalRaconteur

Or: How the fuck is she so attractive, she dresses like my grandfather, I want to punch myself in the face: the Newt Geiszler story.

nyctophobia (into the light of the dark black night), by orphan_account

“See, the thing about birthdays is they’re totally an annual thing,” Newt explained, handing Hermann his latte. “And I’ve known you for, what, twelve years? Thirteen?”

“Fifteen,” Hermann interjected tersely. “And a half.”

Do you have Prince Albert in a can?, by mwestbelle

Newt has a Prince Albert piercing. That’s about it.

This Most Beautiful System, by rosepetalfall

Like Watson and Crick, Newton Geiszler and Hedda Gottlieb are two scientific names almost invariably thought of together.

Hedda Gottlieb and Newton Geiszler grow up, save the world, conquer academia, defy the odds, do some ill-advised things, do some brilliant things, and learn about love. Not necessarily in that order.

In the Midst of the Blackest Storm, by TrufflesTheMushroom

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, at the precipice of our hope, at the new beginning of our time, we can choose not only to believe in ourselves, but in each other. Tomorrow, there will not be a single person on our shores who shall stand alone. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow we will face the monsters that are at our door and take the fight to them. Tomorrow, we are facing the apocalypse. As one.

Or: Tendo Choi used to coerce every Jaeger Strike Team in the Hong Kong Shatterdome into boosting its dwindling funds with shady black market deals, and this is how he gets everyone to slowly become a family once more as the world faces the re-opening of the Breach and humanity’s darkest hour.

Or: How To Trust When All Seems Hopeless

i forget the difference between seduction and arson, by gyzym

Ignition and cognition.

animals trapped (the cage is full), by liginamite

Because that’s the problem, isn’t it? The world doesn’t have time for affection, for intimacy, for anything more than quickly coming and cleaning off and heading back to work like nothing ever happened.

The Mathematician’s Answer, by ConstanceComment

“Prosper our handiwork; O prosper the work of our hands.” — Psalm 90

People Might Laugh at Your Tattoos, by callmejude

It’s armor.

Conversations You Don’t Know We’re Having, by adventuring

The spleen was doing something very uncooperative now, turning colors no alien spleen was meant to turn, and oh god, was something bubbling? That could not be good. “No, baby, no, I can fix this, I can do better, just give me one more chance,” he begged it, ignoring Hermann’s baffled, “Pardon?” in his ear. He grabbed frantically at the tongs, fumbling them, realized he probably couldn’t fix this situation one-handed, and said to Hermann, “Gotta go, important work to be done.”

“Newton, I swear to you, do not hang up this phone, follow my instructions—”

“No time, man, science is happening,” he said, and then without thought tacked on, “Bye, love you,” and threw the phone in what was likely the direction of his desk, not bothering to end the call. Hermann probably kept talking, but hello, science.

California King, by notastranger

Hermann is not a sleep cuddler. Bummer.

that every man might have need of other, by lymricks

In the few hours it took to reconcile Newton’s gone with Newton left, Hermann had created an elaborate fantasy: Newton kidnapped, Newton taken, Newton needing to be saved. He had not considered that leaving had been Newton’s idea. He had not thought it would be voluntary.

You Lost, Doctor?, by hailtherandom

“The next morning, Hermine goes to work with a clear head. It sticks for all of about thirteen minutes, until Newt walks into the offices in a pair of jeans and an old, threadbare undershirt instead of her usual button-down, and numbers flicker out of Hermine’s mind like lights in a Jaeger. Newt glances up and shoots her a filthy grin, then drops her coat on her desk and pulls out a pair of gloves. Hermine loses whole equations to the kaiju rippling over the muscles in Newt’s forearms.”

Private in Public, by spirogyra

Dr. Newton Geiszler and Dr. Hermann Gottlieb get introduced to life in a shatterdome, and somehow survive showering together for ten years even when they’re on separate continents.

Nightmares, by beckettemory

“Hermann frowned, remembering the bags under Newton’s eyes and the constant bubbling of the coffee maker in the corner brewing pot after pot of strong coffee all day.” ——————- Hermann, sore after a long day, passes the laboratory and realises that, though well into the night, Newton is still working, and has been acting strangely for a few days.

Lights On, by berlynn_wohl

Hermann’s solitude and shame was an immovable object inside him. He had yet to find out that it would soon encounter an unstoppable force.

Not While I’m Around, by callmejude

written for the kinkmeme prompt: In all the years they’ve worked with each other, Hermann can’t remember ever seeing Newt angry - upset and frustrated, maybe, but never angry. Sure, they argue and raise their voices at each other all the time, but that’s just lively intellectual discourse - they’re never really mad at each other. Hermann has always just kind of assumed that Newton is so easy going that nothing can set him off.

And then someone messes with Hermann, and Newton absolutely explodes with rage.

Come Away To The Water, by funnylookingfella

The Kaiju War is over, there are no Jaegers left, the mourning period has passed… but the hive mind lingers.

A Little Friendly Challenge, by moonblossom

Newt knows how to get Hermann to cooperate.

I wear your granddad’s clothes, I look incredible., by notastranger

Newton comes up with what he thinks is a hilarious Halloween costume. Things do not go as planned.

venus in fleurs, by indications

6.7k of boring-ass white boys touchin dicks

so it goes, by liginamite

The world needs Newton Geiszler, and with that thought in mind, it’s Hermann that drifts with the Kaiju instead.

sugar, spice, and graduate programs, by classyfanperson

Newt works at a coffee shop. Hermann is studying abroad at MIT. Pumpkin lattes are good for the soul.

Good Day for Ghosts, by cryogenia

Hermann wakes into the new world, and carries the remains of the old with him.

Equality, by pickleplum

“‘Immediate family only’ is our policy and no amount of yelling at me will change it, Doctor Geiszler. Unless you are Doctor Gottlieb are long-lost brothers, you need to calm down and wait in the reception area or we’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Newt makes a very loud exasperated noise and throws his hands in the air, but turns and marches into the waiting room. He drops himself onto a couch and pulls at his hair in frustration. I’m going to behave, he tells himself firmly. I’m not going to freak out over this total bullshit and get myself tossed out of here. No way. I can do this.

no man is an island, by narcomanic

Running away from the hive mind is easier said than done, especially when you’ve been so clever all your life that you never had to learn how to ask for help.

Time Will Crawl and Our Mouths Run Dry, by hailtherandom

It was Hermann’s idea, oddly enough. Sometimes Newt never quite believes that, thinks he made it up in a dream or a drunken haze, because Hermann, Dr. Hermann Gottlieb, does not suggest things like that. But he did, and Newt laughed in his face, and then blinked a few times and said, “what, really?” “Yes, really,” Hermann said. “It’s logical, Newton, if you take a moment to think about it.” — Hermann and Newt. Mutual handjobs at twenty-one hundred hours every Wednesday and Friday. Slight complications develop.

After Zero, by what_alchemy

The war is over. Hermann and Newt get on with their [sex] lives.

More Than I Can Return, by callmejude

written for the kinkmeme prompt: “Newt likes to flirt with Hermann, the fact that he never flirts back does not discourage him at all. An outsider might think that Newt is foolishly in love with someone who doesn’t care about him back at all. But one day in the lab out of nowhere, Hermann says, "Alright, what if I just bring you off with my hand? Will that make you more bearable?”

Newt’s thrilled and doesn’t miss a beat. “God, Hermann, a handy would be awesome right now! Thanks, man!”, all while he’s unzipping his fly and grabbing the surgical lube for improper use.

From then on they start hooking up whenever it pleases both of them. Sometimes handjobs, sometimes frottage, occasionally one will penetrate the other. But most importantly, Newt never stops calling Hermann “man” or “dude” during the act, and keeps talking as if Hermann was just doing him a mundane favour, or he was doing a favour for Hermann.

It isn’t until they sit on the sofa in Hermann’s room one night, cuddling up and making out after a taxing workday, with no signs of anyone unclothing or unzipping, that Newt thinks maybe affection has something to do with it.“

Jackpot, by notastranger

People say some strange things when coming out of anesthesia.

Cleaning Days, by jotc

All Hermann Gottlieb wanted was a clean lab space of his own.

Feels Like Reckless Driving, by lakehymn

“Did you just say I’m right about something?” Newton asks, feigning shock. Then he lightheartedly elbows Hermann in the ribs and adds, “I always knew you loved me.”

everyone needs a place (it shouldn’t be inside someone else), by orphan_account

His brain goes a gazillion miles an hour in loopy misdirectional circles, and when he dreams he dreams of kaiju biology, of being back in their lab, of sharp elbows in a small bed.

Chatter, by berlynn_wohl

“What do you think? Is today going to be a good day?”

Unhappy Campers (or Why You Can’t Perform CPR on Someone Who’s Still Breathing), by Jenni_Snake

A summer science camp field trip to the mountains. What could be more fun? Probably anything, especially for a group of nerdy science kids.

Hermann Gottlieb’s Stacker Pentecost Obsession Trapper Keeper, by what_alchemy

Hermann has a giant man crush on Stacker.

Newt finds it delightful. Herc, not so much.

what’s your rush, by Byacolate

Summary by me: An elaboration of Hermann and Newt’s relationship before and after the closing of the Breach.

Baby, You’re Hotter than my Bunsen Burner, by SkysongMA

They argue like they breathe—but that’s not all there is to it. Newt flirts, and it’s disgusting.

It’s not that Hermann minds flirting. The Kaidonovskies have propositioned everyone in the PPDC, or so it seems, and Tendo has intimated more than once that he wouldn’t mind spending some time in the lab, “talking numbers.” The Shatterdome is a small place. One has to practice somewhere.

It’s just that Newt is so bad at it.

Becoming History, by Scientia_Fantasia

Sure, the phrase “crotchety old man who obviously pays no attention to the current scientific community” may have snuck its way into one of the letters, but hey, that’s what you get for calling Up-And-Coming Scientific Rockstar Newton Geiszler “some kid.” Like, the guy had it coming. Really.

It Is not Heaven, It Is Home, by bravinto

Finding the love of your life is awfully anticlimactic.

Fleece, by berlynn_wohl

Newt and Hermann enjoy a day of terminally fluffy domesticity, with maybe a few minutes set aside for shenanigans on the sofa. Also, monsters (duh).

For What It’s Worth, I’d Do It Again, by callmejude

Between finding Newton seizing on the floor and running to get Pentecost, Hermann needs to make sure Newton is okay.

The Stretch and Pull of Disused Hearts, by billiethepoet

Newt notices that the move to the Anchorage Shatterdome is affecting Hermann’s leg. So Newt builds him a hot yoga studio out of spare parts and an abandoned storage closet. Obviously.

Best Cock On The Block, by hobbitdragon

They’ve been so close and yet so far for fourteen years now, but the drift is the pebble that starts the avalanche of change. (By which we mean sex)

This started out as a short ficlet and quickly grew beyond ficlet status into a full-blown fic. I guess I really wanted to write more trans smut.

The Seconds In Between, by orphan_account

Sort of a day in the life of Hermann (and Newt, always with Newt). Mostly, I had a lot of tiny little headcanons and then tried to spin them all together in a fic.

hallo mutti, hallo vati, by classyfanperson

Newt and Hermann visit the Gottlieb family after the Breach is closed. Some are happier to see them than others.

The Cost of Craving Dark Instead of Light, by sonnie

Summary by me: Monica Schwartz and her son, Newton.

The Two Weirdos Who Work In The Lab, by berlynn_wohl

Two vignettes about the worst kept secret in the Shatterdome.

he’s thunderstorms, by mundaneanarchy

Wherein Newt maybe possibly has a teeny tiny itsy bitsy almost microscopic crush on a certain grumpy old mathematician and Hermann falls and can’t get up. Angsty pining ensues. (explicit for chapter 2)

Never Done with Killing Time, by orphan_account

In between one day and the next, there’s always some time for some loving.

Quantum Degeneracy, by trell

Newt makes a sound from where he’s hidden behind his kaiju, behind his arms, and then he croaks, "I can’t play anymore.”

Hermann’s eyes flick to the electric keyboard sitting near Newt’s desk—a paper-covered, disorganized disaster of a thing—and he says, quietly, “Ah.”

the best laid plans, by liginamite

The plan, you see, was to totally sex Hermann up immediately after the world was saved. But you know that old saying about well-laid plans.

Generated Affects, by trell

Twelve is you washing your hands ten times up to the elbow in the space of the half an hour you spend prepping kaiju entrails for long-term cryo. It’s him that stops you, him that struggles over to the sink on his cane and grabs you by the wrists, hands fitting perfectly over the open maws of Hundun and Yamarashi, and he says “Stop,” and “Newton, think, this isn’t like you, it is like—” and the me hangs unspoken but you get it, let him guide you over to a bench in the lab and force you to sit still long enough to tone down the compulsion.

five times newt proposed to hermann and the one time he said yes, by mundaneanarchy

title is self explanatory.

alternate title: the fear of falling apart

warning: cheesy and kinda dumb

macho dudes in lace undies, by mundaneanarchy

Summary by me: Newt, Hermann and a lingerie kink.

one last kiss while we’re far too young to die, by mundaneanarchy

Newt and Hermann meet, fall in love, hate each other, lose each other, find each other, kiss drunkenly, save/destroy the world, and get married. All in that order.

it is one way to live, by fuckener

Newt would stay stuck in the wartime if nobody tried pulling him out of it.

Black Velvet Rabbits rockstar AU, by spirogyra

Summary by me: In which Hermann is the number one fan of Newt’s rock band, The Black Velvet Rabbits.

Sea Swept, by cypress_tree

A high seas fantasy AU in which Hermann is a ship’s navigator and Newton is found washed up among flotsam.

there are no atheists in foxholes, by liginamite

Newt and Hermann have been feeling off since they helped to cancel the apocalypse. They’re losing time, long black-outs, periods of aggression. The feeling that there’s something else, something they can’t pin down.

The thing is, the Kaiju drift left something behind in the both of them, and it’s determined to get out.

Can’t Wait for You to Shut Me Up, by callmejude

written for the kink meme prompt: “Hermann tells Newt to shut up, Newt tells Hermann to make him. They make out. That’s the prompt.”

(That may have been the prompt but I admit to it going much further than that.)

Dead Letter Chorus, by QuokkaFoxtrot

It’s if you’ve never heard anything true. But we will try 'til the next time or the last time. Dead Letter Chorus - You Am I

Newt owns a coffee shop. Hermann is a tenured professor at the local university. Their relationship has its ups and downs.

Also: Chuck is a champion barista, Mako is a world travelling Direct Trade negotiator, Stacker and Herc play a lot of chess, and Tendo owns Shatterdome Records.

Much coffee is consumed. (Except by Hermann who is a priss about how his tea should be prepared.)

bones, sinking like stones, by mundaneanarchy

You don’t love him. You don’t love him even though you do, you know you do, you know you do so much it hurts, but you don’t.

have yourself a merry little christmas, by classyfanperson

Hermann isn’t going home for Hanukkah, so Newt insists they both visit his family back home. They continue to not talk about their feelings.

Or: A Very Geiszler Christmas.

Newton Geiszler’s 11 Ways to Save the World, by kaijukonjou

Keep to yourself, keep your chin up, and maybe you’ll make it out in one piece.

Five Times Newt And Hermann Kiss While They Are Drunk, by luceluceluceluce

A brief timeline of the apocalypse from the perspective of a pair of nerds: a story of science, alcohol, and love.

Become What We’ve Always Been, by irisbleufic

Hermann doesn’t have enough time to experience a crisis over Newton’s response to his unvoiced request; he’s drifting into that self-same lethargy, eyelids heavy, his arm across the cane gone slack.

it wouldn’t be make believe, by infinituity

“By the way, dude,” he says, and he reaches down both to grab his notepad as well as to avoid looking at Hermann, “my parents think we’re dating.”

Instead of the expected angry yelling, he gets only silence in response, so he looks up to see Hermann opening his mouth to speak, reconsidering, closing it, and repeating. After several more repeats than strictly necessary, he sighs and slumps down in his seat.

“Of course they do,” he says.

sweet as anything, by classyfanperson

Newt is embarrassed about certain aspects of her body. Hermine is considerably more enthusiastic.

The Statistics of Touch, by WheresPeebs

Alternate Title: If You Would Just Stop Interrupting Each Other, Everything Would Be Worked Out in the First Friggin’ Paragraph.

Hermann is uncomfortable with public displays of… well, anything. It causes problems.

First, by cypress_tree

Newt and Hermann’s first time is Newt’s first first time.

Roses are red, and if that’s kaiju blue so help me Newton, by unnecessary

Summary by me: Newton and Hermann have some communication problems.

point me in the direction of the last setting sun, by orphan_account

They were two women standing against the end of the world.

Urine Trouble, by kinkitsecretkinkitsafe

Hermann has a thing for watersports. Newt finds out.

breathing free and even, by classyfanperson

He’s working on it. They’re working on it.

High-Five for Hatesex, by kinkitsecretkinkitsafe

Summary by me: Newton has a thing for Hermann and justifies it as hate!sex. He might be wrong.

Counterpoint, by kinkitsecretkinkitsafe

Summary by me: Sequel to High-Five for Hatesex.

a thousand spiders down the drain, by Byacolate

Children can be so cruel to boys who pick flowers.

Secret Agent Scientist, by Malteaser

Written for the prompt: Hermann, secret badass; He has something cool like a fencing saber installed in his cane and when someone fucks with them he kicks their ass and keeps talking like nothing happened.

A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way, by patster223

Newt liked to purposefully annoy Hermann in order to get rough sex. Which worked out great, until Hermann found out about it and decided to punish Newt by giving him excruciatingly nice sex.

cross my heart and take me with you, by drashian

The first time Hermann meets Newton Geiszler, they are pleasant with each other for about 10 minutes until suddenly they’re duking it out about Hermann’s theories of transdimensional transport.

The second time Hermann meets Newton Geiszler, they just start yelling.

The third time Hermann meets Newton Geiszler, it is in the toxic blue haze of the Drift.

Anthology ‘Verse (& Related Errata), by irisbleufic

Summary by me: a study of the relationship between Hermann and Newt, from the beginning to the future.

Parallax / Perihelion, by irisbleufic

Parallax—the apparent displacement of an observed object due to a change in the position of the observer; from the Greek, παράλλαξις (“alteration”). / Perihelion—the point in the orbit of an asteroid, comet, planet, or other celestial body where it is nearest to the sun (again from the Greek, περιήλιο).

One-Week Rule, by irisbleufic

Somebody’s got a stick up his theoretical vortex. Starting this off with a bang?

We’re Revolutionaries Now, by AxolotlQueen

One really shouldn’t attempt to cut one’s own hair.

(Or, Hermione Gottlieb gives herself a bad haircut and Newton Geiszler helps out.)

Newton Geiszler and His Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Interns, by cambion and casdere

“I know, it’s all a bit silly,” he admits.

“You always get a bit silly about your crushes, yeah?” She teases easily, and Hermann nearly spits out his mouthful of soup. Jasmine gives him another concerned look, but he waves her away.

“Vanessa, can you please not,” he hisses under his breath, and she laughs with the phone pulled away from her face, sounding like distant bells, and he feels taken back to high school, and remembers the fumbling idiocy of his crush on her, and knows immediately she is right, and he ought to give up the fight. He has a crush, an honest to God crush, and at his age! He knows, surely, it started with his fascination of the man’s intellect, but he also knows how quickly and easily he was drawn into his off-kilter charisma, as well.

or: hermann and newt are college professors, newt is working on his sixth doctorate, hermann is nursing a nasty crush, and i fit way too much into one chapter

scene after scene, by drashian

Everything had been banking on the world ending.

It doesn’t end, though, and that leaves everyone with this big hole where the future they didn’t plan for suddenly stretches ahead of them.

Newt struggles and reaches to fill that hole, and comes up with two things: Hermann Gottlieb and a cross-country road trip.

Chalk It Up To Love, by patster223

Newt replaced all of Hermann’s white pieces of chalk with pink ones. Or: the one in which chalk is a form of courtship, Hermann is head-over-heels, and somehow the entire Shatterdome gets involved.

The Apple In Our Hands, by irisbleufic

Summary: 1950!AU in which Newt is a cryptozoologist trying to find the Loch Ness monster, Hermann is more or less the same, and they have to share a cabin in Scotland.

Ice to Meet You, by patster223

Hermann is eating a rather phallic-looking popsicle and Newt is pretty sure he might actually die from sexual frustration.

In Sweden, and Elsewhere, by rillrill

Newt had just thrown down his end of the half-assembled bookshelf and shouted, “Whatever! It still makes no sense that two acclaimed and accomplished scientists with the combined brainpower of four average adults can’t put together a goddamn shelf!” Because, seriously, he can build an improvised neural bridge out of old lab machinery and an ancient Mr. Coffee, but he’s undone by three missing pegs? Fuck this.

Newt and Hermann rebuild, relocate, accept the Nobel Prize for Physics, fight over furniture, and strive to carve out a space for themselves in a world where they’re inextricably linked - in the the press, in their personal lives, and in their own heads.

Magic and Progress, by patster223

The Hogwarts AU in which Newt is a wizard, Hermann is a Muggle, and somehow they manage to save the world and love each other anyway.

Self-Destruct, by pinkmoon

“He learns how to never be wrong. He learns how to be indispensable. He realizes it makes him unstoppable.

Newton Geiszler is one tick away from self-destructing for the rest of his life.”

A character study of Newt’s lifetime of risky behavior and predilection for taking risks of the “rock star” sort. (Spanning many years, continents, arguments, and accidents, but landing, unexpectedly, in a happy ending.)

Today Your Barista Is: Hella Fucking Gay, by unnecessary

Hermann is a professor. The barista at the coffee shop across the street is cute and very, very single.

It is inevitable, really.

Predictable, by cypress_tree

It’s a movie date, but they’re not really watching the movie.

Adventures In Knitting, by decadent_mousse

Newt decides to knit Hermann a sweater, with… mixed results.

You’ve Taken A Pizza My Heart, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt are so busy with work, they don’t get much time to go out to dinner, so Newt decides to improvise.

Fear of a Name, by uhnonniemiss

Newt and Hermann never could decide on how to define what they are to each other. It takes several years, thousands of kisses, a vat of acid, a big fight, and a sunny Boston evening to help them choose.

every day I fight a war against the mirror, by thekaidonovskys

“It came at a price,” he says. “To understand them, I had to learn how to fear them.”

Cut to the Chase, by patster223

Hermann needs a haircut. He does not need the cute hairdresser to flirt with him, he does not need a scalp massage, and he does not need anything trendy or stylish done to his hair.

Thankfully, these are things that happen anyway. Barbershop AU, featuring hairdresser!Newt and smitten!Hermann.

The Sublime, by Lucretius

The waves are coming closer to them now, and yes, the tide is coming to them with crescendo crashes.

The white fringe of sea is mere fathoms away.

“Can we?” Hermann asks.

And it is the question that one asks because, the choice having been made in what feels like another lifetime, now, for the first time, there is someone here, here, right here—who can see a way of being and seeing long dormant under so many layers of performing and seeming.

Recover, by irisbleufic

You’re my new favorite blanket. Come inside?

Untoward, by LemonScience33

Newton licks his bottom lip. “Maybe, um…” he says.

Newton doesn’t continue. Hermann wills his breathing to remain steady. “Yes?”

Newton shrugs casually. “Maybe we could give each other a hand,” he says. “Just two friends… you know, helping each other out.”

Knocking Socks, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt go sock-shopping.

Listening, by cypress_tree

Newt has a dirty talk kink, and Hermann has a really nice voice.

Act Together, by irisbleufic

“You know I’m only a liar when it matters, right?”

You + Me = Happiness ², by steviekat

The thing is, Newt had never really put much thought into the future. The future of K-Science? Sure! Her own? To be fair, this probably better than anything she could have imagined.

Got Your Back, by Doooooooom

The workload is taking its toll on Hermann’s shoulders. Luckily, Newt is a dab hand at shoulder massages.

That’s one way to shut you up, by offensiveagentpie

Based on this fanart by pixiepunch.

Hermann tries a new tactic to get Newt to be quiet for once.

wash us away, by thekaidonovskys

Thank god Hermann undresses after he’s entered the bathroom, or else walking in to find Newt sitting on the bench top would have been much much worse.

visions are seldom what they seem, by mundaneanarchy

Hermann likes Tchaikovsky. Newt likes Hermann.

The Sun On Your Face (I’m Freezing That Frame), by irisbleufic

“Hate to break it to you,” Newton whispers, kissing Hermann’s neck with a happy sigh before letting his head drop to rest against Hermann’s shoulder, “but we’re busted in five, four, three—”

“Your ass is mine, Geiszler!” shouts Officer Hak, barging into the lab. “You too, Doctor Gottlieb. If you think you can get off so easy—”

The Good Old Days, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt go scavenging for supplies during a blackout and get more than they bargained for.

A Proper Family Christmas, by uhnonniemiss

When Hermann ends up in the medical wing, he looks all set to spend Christmas by himself. Not if Newt gets a say in it, though.

Or, in which adopted and blood family save the Holidays

The Friendmas Ficlet Collection, by cypress_tree

A collection of five unrelated ficlets written as Christmas gifts for friends:

geniusbee: Hermann hurt/comfort patster223: Hermann wearing nail polish thehorrorinsymmetry: Hermann in lingerie bravinto: belly rubs decadentmousse: Harvest Moon AU

Aftershocks, by tastewithouttalent

“Hermann has to stumble away because the Drift is still too fresh and he can’t tell the heat of Newton’s body apart from his own anymore.” The impact of the Drift hits Hermann, and he and Newt don’t make it back to the laboratory.

Au Naturel, by decadent_mousse

Newt gives Hermann a wake up call during a very boring meeting.

Fortune’s Favor, by tamerofdarkstars

In which there is kissing, the end of the world, the subsequent salvation of the world, and more kissing.

Fills Trope_Bingo: Round 4 - Celebratory Kiss

Bump in the Night, by unicornsandbutane

Newt’s made a mistake, and it’s really a subjective matter whether it was a poor decision altogether or just a mere miscalculation. Regardless, he is forced to phone Hermann in the middle of the night, to deal with the consequences.

But the Gesture is Ruined, by cypress_tree

Five times Hermann tried to be romantic, one time he succeeded without even meaning to. A K-Sci romcom, basically.

Strange Bedfellows, by decadent_mousse

When Hermann and Newt first arrive at the Hong Kong Shatterdome, a paperwork mix-up forces them to share a room for awhile.

followed your ashes into outer space, by parpar

The numbers of the War Clock ticked down to zero, and the resulting euphoria was thick as smoke in the air. The assortment of PPDC members and civilian contractors were in an uproar, and Hermann and Newton made their way down the LOCCENT steps to stand in the midst of it.

When Tendo had finally managed to get Mako and Raleigh to stop hugging and cooperate with the rescue team, Newton had leaned his forehead into the curve of Hermann’s shoulder.

“We actually pulled it off,” he had whispered. “We did it, holy shit, it’s over.” Hermann had gracefully ignored the tears soaking into his collar and patted his colleague on the back while he pulled himself together.

Occupational Hazard, by decadent_mousse

Hermann overworks himself and gets a migraine.

In Space No One Can Hear You Mop, by decadent_mousse

Hermann and Newt are janitors sent to a derelict ship to clean things up after a group of aliens massacred the entire crew… but are they the only ones on board?

Liminality, by what_alchemy

What we know, after.

Fortuna Favet, by Mipeltaja

Newton seemed to think one could invoke good fortune simply by being bold enough or loud enough, a notion Hermann found utterly ridiculous.

It wasn’t that Hermann didn’t believe chance could on occasion work in his favour, it was just that life had taught him not to rely on it.

Brainspace and Kinkspace, by Emmalyn

Summary by me: Newt and Hermann exploring some of the delights of kinky sex.

Desperate Times, by decadent_mousse

Newt finds Hermann in a terrible state.

Matchsnaking, by patster223

There is a snake in Hermann’s apartment. This is not how he wanted to start his day.

Apartment neighbors AU where Newt’s snake keeps sneaking into Hermann’s apartment.

Put a Pin in That, by unicornsandbutane

Newt tries to convince Hermann to participate in a charity event. What ensues might be classed as ‘hijinks’, ‘shenanigans’, or ‘hilarity’, depending upon your perspective.

Remains, by berlynn_wohl

Newt and Hermann wrap Christmas presents and talk about death.

You Love Me Not, by mundaneanarchy

A story of love and coping with love told from the second-person perspective of Newt.

Newt loves Hermann and Hermann loves Newt but sometimes it’s not that easy.

Statiscally Significant Other, by unicornsandbutane

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Or, the fic computerbaby on tumblr requested, in which Newt compliments Hermann and Hermann is really really into it.

Pasta Aisle, by cypress_tree

Hermann and Newt meet for the first time in a grocery store. Hermann helps Newt grab something off a high shelf. Newt takes offense.

Disconnect, Connect Again, by cypress_tree

Raising Newt Geiszler has never been easy. Seeing him fall in love can be harder.

The development of Newt and Hermann’s relationship, from Jacob Geiszler’s point-of-view.

Spaces Between, by adropofred

Newt had not realised, somehow, that the world not ending would mean it would stubbornly keep on turning without waiting for him to catch up.

So what? He’s a scientist. He’ll do some catching up of his own and lose himself in the labyrinth of his and Hermann’s brains and their bodies.

This is absolutely not to be considered hiding, not that they can hide much anymore.

The Six Million Pillows Man, by adropofred

As it turns out, Hermann’s room is nothing special. His bed, on the other end, is very, very special.

Of course, Newt wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t find a way to turn this revelation into a situation where he could put his foot in his mouth.

Time For You and Time For Me, by patster223

A collection of Newmann prompts that I’ve filled on my tumblr. Contains: AUs, pining, flirting, bickering, several chapters of Hermann’s filthy exhibitionist kink, and two nerds learning to love each other in as many ways as possible.

The Beholder, by ItsClydeBitches

Written for the Newmann-uendo Hurt/Comfort challenge.

Hermann is feeling pretty insecure about his body. He’s unattractive. That’s a fact. Luckily Newton Geiszler’s number one law is still in place:

Hermann Gottlieb is ALWAYS wrong.

we’ll leave our tracks untraceable, by confused_android

When she steps off the plane in Logan International, something tight in her shoulders cracks, loosens, and she shakes free the last barb the PPDC had through her spine, through her brain, keeping her tense and wary for most of a decade. She yanks her heavy suitcase off of the carousel, identifiable by the years of layered duct tape repairing a seam that could once have been stitched, and flags the first taxi that will stop for her.

Permanent Ink, by mundaneanarchy

Inspired by this piece of fanart (http://rockstar-ologist.tumblr.com/post/126950663313) by rockstar-ologist

Newt gets Hermann’s initials tattooed on his hand. A month into their relationship. Hermann isn’t too happy about it.

Castaways’ Window, by Chancy_Lurking

“There are no words for the thoughts he has in that moment, because they are not his thoughts.”

Rings, by perniciousLizard

Three scenes, post movie. They’re happy.

Right Hand: Heart, by QuokkaFoxtrot

Two beers. That was all it took these days.

Dance In The Graveyards, by LemonScience33

As they round the next corner and lights come on, Newt’s first thought is, This had better be worth it, because we’re definitely gonna get caught.

His second thought is, That is the skull of Otachi’s baby, with lights strung over it.

His third thought is, This is definitely worth it.

Sweater Wars, by paenteom

Hermann takes his fashion illiteracy to new, festive levels. Newt is forced to retaliate.

Die Musik Kommt, by romangold

Maybe everyone’s drowning in the day, the night, memories and regrets and guilts, in relief, in pure, unadulterated happiness. Maybe they’re all dying.

Hermann finds Newt after the apocalypse is cancelled, and the two realize that perhaps they aren’t so toxic together after all.

Nigel, by uhnonniemiss

A particularly harsh snowstorm has brought the boiler- and Hermann- to a standstill.

(My piece for the 2015 Pacrim Holiday Swap!)

Etude, Op. 25 No. 12, by romangold

The climax always resolves to major, no matter how many times you play the piece. And the heroes always win, despite the amount of times you rewind to the beginning or fast-forward to the end.

sharing half our genes, and nothing in between, by getmean

“Christ, Hermann, is this a letterman jacket?” Newt cried, spinning and holding it up with a level of glee he hadn’t reached since he got that salivary gland from Mutavore. “How cliché can you get?”

Plausible Possibility, by cissues

Newt and Hermann experience some odd post-drift effects.

mountains sunk below the sea, by getmean

Newton has been, and always will be, what his father calls a ‘tough nut to crack’, but has an element of horrifying vulnerability that makes Hermann’s skin crawl. He selfishly likes Newton best when all his walls are intact.

netflix and chill, by w0rm

Hermann does the Netflix, Newt does the chill.

How to Deal with Accidental Neural Oversharing and Other Scientific Conundrums, by yourguardianangel

The world has not ended. Operation Pitfall is successful. Celebrations are had. But how are two snarky scientists meant to cope with having way too much of each others internal monologues retroactively overlaid with their own memories?

(with smut, that’s how.)

It’s All Good, by spirogyra

Thoughtless words, hurt feelings, cryptic statements, the drift makes things easier and more difficult, but in the end… it’s all good.

追伸, by lamphouse

“If I recall correctly, this is the man who confessed to wanting a pet Godzilla for his twentieth birthday, is it not? Glass houses, Dr. Geiszler.”

It takes two months for Newton Geiszler to fall in love. It takes thirty months, around two hundred letters, several time zones, and two missed-ish connections for him to actually admit it.

it’s alright, don’t you let it inside, by areunasty

They’re taking Gipsy Danger out for a trial run, and Newt watches with mild interest as the mech slices cleanly through the ocean. He thinks that if he was that big anything would be easy. Loving someone difficult, being loved, the quiet and painful twist of Hermann’s mouth whenever he looks at Newt recently.

The Price of Ghost Drifting, by confettiinmyhair

Newt is home early. Hermann has a surprise.

concentric circles, by lamphouse

It’s times like these that Hermann finds himself checking and double-checking his list of reasons why he works at the library. It’s also times like these that prove why nowhere on said list does it mention the people he works with.

The Boyfriend Experience, by berylnn_wohl

In the Shatterdome, Hermann confesses his disappointment that his and Newt’s relationship lacks romance. After the war is over, Newt vows to spend one year righting this wrong as they travel the world together on a lecture tour.

Everything We Never Said, by JennaCupcakes

Newt has a few regrets about his drift with Hermann. Namely, that he’s had a crush on the guy for a while and really doesn’t want him to find out.

Echoes in the Well of Silence, by unicornsandbutane

Hermann can hear Newton through the ducts.

Wishbone, by cypress_tree

Hermann doesn’t have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, so Newt invites him over for food, family, and a little bit of flirting. Just a warm, fuzzy college AU to get you through the holidays.

Do Scientists Dream of Cloned Sheep?, by paenteom

Newt fumbles with the key card before he finally manages to swipe it, throws the door open and freezes.

There’s only one bed.

It’s massive, and covered in the fluffiest blanket he has ever seen, but it’s undeniably singular.

“Uh,” he says. “Awkward.”

Laughter, Confession, by cypress_tree

He’s nervous and awkward and he’s afraid he’ll mess up, but god, he wants this so bad.

Proving a Point, by steampunkepsilon

Newt thinks Hermann is a shy, reserved, vanilla kind of guy. Newt is wrong, and Hermann has sources.

Slumber Sequence, by strigine

Summary by me: Newton and Hermann’s sleeping habits.

Clean Clock, by cissues

'“So, you’re that guy, huh?” The man says, finally. He has his back to the newly emptied and even more newly dirtied sink and Hermann’s gaze is fixated on the encrusted plates and wine-stained glassware.’

Or, where Hermann is a hermit and also a clean freak with messy roommates.

Linguistics, by cypress_tree

Literally just a thousand words of Newt masturbating while listening to Hermann give an interview on a podcast.

i ain’t holy, i ain’t close, by queenofthestarrrs

The end of the world feels like home.

tell me you’ll love me for a million years, by buckgaybarnes

Hermann is working late, so Newt decides to be a great husband and tackle their chores. He mostly succeeds.

lost connection, by orphan_account

When the Shatterdome stays open for continuing research, the K-Science team realizes they’ll actually have to deal with the after-effects of their Drift.

Trial and Error, by cypress_tree

A romantic comedy of errors in which Newt and Hermann try to spice things up….and fail spectacularly.

Mixed Signals, by SkysongMA

After the Drift, Hermann starts having sex dreams.

Newt’s sex dreams.

That are all about Hermann.

Oh Mein Me, by junkiechurch

You wonder how a heart like his could ever love a man like you.

clothes (or a lack thereof), by orphan_account

Once the war is over, Hermann and Newt move in together. Newt realizes how little clothing they actually own.

#pacific rim #newmann #newton geiszler #hermann gottlieb #fic recs #please warn me if any links are broken #and reblog it if you can so more people will see it #otp: the favors of fortune

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hannahwaterman · 3 years

Text

Type and Language 1 - Choosing a quote, planning my project, brainstorming.

Selecting a quote for this briefing was something I tried to get done very quickly so that I could begin making work fast. At first I thought of doing the following quote by Bill Hicks:

“The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, "Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, "Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we … kill those people. "Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real." It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.”

It’s very long, but I think it’s a very beautiful and well meaning piece of spoken word. Bill Hicks was a comedian-philosopher, and he was a very influential person in the formative years of my life from about 10 years old onwards. Definitely too young to be listening to Bill Hicks, but hey - his words really stuck with me and I think this quote is a very important one in my life.

I thought I could do something funny like this quote from Come Dine With Me:

Dear Lord, what a sad little life, Jane. You ruined my night, completely, so you could have the money, but I hope now you spend it on getting some lessons in grace and decorum because you have all the grace of a reversing dump truck without any tyres on.

But ultimately, I didn’t have faith that I would really be able to get excited about it!

I finally settled for this quote by Robert Sapolsky, a human behavioural biologist:

I am not worried if scientists go and explain everything. This is for a very simple reason: an impala sprinting across the Savannah can be reduced to biomechanics, and Bach can be reduced to counterpoint, yet that does not decrease one iota our ability to shiver as we experience impalas leaping or Bach thundering. We can only gain and grow with each discovery that there is structure underlying the most accessible levels of things that fill us with awe. But there is an even stronger reason why I am not afraid that scientists will inadvertently go and explain everything--it will never happen. While in certain realms, it may prove to be the case that science can explain anything, it will never explain everything. As should be obvious after all these pages, as part of the scientific process, for every question answered, a dozen newer ones are generated. And they are usually far more puzzling, more challenging than than the prior problems. This was stated wonderfully in a quote by a geneticist named Haldane earlier in the century: "Life is not only stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine." We will never have our flames extinguished by knowledge. The purpose of science is not to cure us of our sense of mystery and wonder, but to constantly reinvent and reinvigorate it.

It’s very long, so I chose from it the most effecting and important sentences, and I was left with the following.

I am not worried if scientists go and explain everything. It will never happen. It will never explain everything. As part of the scientific process, for every question answered, a dozen newer ones are generated. And they are usually far more puzzling, more challenging than than the prior problems. Life is not only stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine. We will never have our flames extinguished by knowledge. The purpose of science is not to cure us of our sense of mystery and wonder, but to constantly reinvent and reinvigorate it.

Robert Sapolsky lectures on human behaviour, taking information from many different scientific avenues, including biology, endocrinology, sociology, criminology, neuroscience, etc, to build a massive and complex picture of why it is humans behave the way we do, looking at our behaviour through multiple lenses and disciplines, and combining them in order to answer some of the biggest philosophical questions, including questions about free will, about love, about hatred and forgiveness and family.

He is one of the biggest influences on my outlook towards life and my trauma and mental health recovery, because not only are his teachings grounded in extremely interesting research and knowledge, but they are able to explain and open up discussions some of the most confusing and difficult parts of the human experience. Sex, love, violence, free will, tribalism, trauma, fear - Sapolsky tackles all of these terrifying and wonderful parts of our lives with such grace and poise and intelligence - his lectures have coloured my world with a newfound respect for myself and those around me.

He delivers this quote or similar at the end of one of his books and in his lecture series, to help clear up some of the biggest fears that people have of scientific knowledge, and it is a sentiment that I hold very dear to my heart. We should not fear advancement and knowledge. It can only enrich our lives, and a better understanding of myself as not just another person in society, but my very own series of complex and intricate biological mechanisms, has completely enriched my life.

I began by experimenting with very basic black and white type designs on Procreate on my iPad. I tend to jump straight into making before I do research, or much thinking at all, because it is often the case that I can come up with some very raw, messy, and interesting visual ideas. The first few attempts I have at a task like this can really inform where my project will go, what I would like to work on over the duration of the project, and what techniques will or won’t help me.

I often start projects in black and white because it is a very basic and simple building block foundation for the shapes in the work, and makes it so that more complex parts of a visual identity can be added later, giving me more time to think about colours and textures before going ahead with them.

I had fun warping text like this - it makes the writing mysterious and mostly illegible. It did not yet communicate effectively, however, and I had a talk with Sarah to better discuss where to go with this project.

Sarah told me to really think about WHO said the text, and WHY. To ask questions about WHAT I am trying to convey. How will I bring the message of the words to life? How can I use type to emphasise and better explain the language being spoken? How can I use typography as not just a fun image, but a visual tool to really hammer home the intent behind the words being spoken?

Sarah advised me to sketch out “how to quote acts”, how it moves and it feels. Also to question, how do I want people to react to this type?

With this higher level of specificity, I was able to think much more clearly about the task at hand. My plan now was to take certain important words from my quote, and do visual research surrounding them. To really give this project a microscopic view to begin with, I am going to focus on smaller fractions of the text, to begin to build up a catalogue of how those words really feel, act, and speak to a reader. I need to bring into question, how can I communicate better using type? How can I make somebody listen with my typography? How can I use my skillset as a designer to translate information into something visually consumable and interesting to look at?

Once I’ve done visual research and sketches focusing on the very zoomed in parts of this quote, I am going to try to visualise those in context of Sapolsky’s life and teachings. He started off his practice as a field scientist, living amongst primates, and studying their movements. He went on to combine this knowledge with laboratory work, studying hormones and neurodevelopment in rats and analysing other studies. He now, on top of all of this, lectures at Stanford, and has written multiple books on the subject of human and animal behaviour, for the casual reader and scientist alike.

How can I represent Sapolsky’s life with design? Can I start off the quote as rough and messy and dusty and animalistic, representing the time he spent amongst apes in the jungle - then developing it into something very neat, tidy and clinical like his lab studies are? Can I make 2 different designs to represent these, then overlay them? Use colours to represent the two different stages of his practice? Can I make this into a screenprint? A series of 2 or 3 posters?

Or could I make a typographic mural to go on the wall at Stanford or another institute of science? A series of posters? A small book or leaflet? An animation? Who am I aiming it at? Over the next few days I am going to collate visual research and express it as a series of typographic works.

#type and language #typography #agp500

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msjr0119 · 4 years

Text

Cordonian Wags

Part 22

In a world full of Professional footballers and their demanding wives- can their football team nicknamed the ‘Cordonian Apples’ succeed? An American female physiotherapist joins the club. Will this cause issues with the footballers wives?

*This series is based on The Royal Romance characters who belong to Pixelberry - AU Plot switch*

Warnings: Swearing, heartache, illness.

Tags: @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @pedudley @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @whenyourheartskipsabeat @jovialyouthmusic @nz1091 @yukinagato2012 @indiacater @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @cordonianroyalty @desiree-0816

******

“Erm. About that future we planned. There’s something I need to tell you...” Drake looked at her concerned, wondering if she was having second thoughts about all that they had planned. Deep down he knew something was fishy regarding Xavier’s ‘death’. Regretting feeling sorry for himself- drinking himself into oblivion whilst the love of his life was being hurt yet again, he would hate himself for the rest of his life.

Liam and Leo woke up surrounded by a sticky residue- scotch that had leaked from the bottle. Neither of them could remember the night before apart from Drake discussing how he was going to propose to Riley- then him crying. Liam heard his phone ringing, the noise now adding to his migraine he had occurred due to his hangover.

“Liv... where are you?”

“How drunk did you get? Did you not read my thousand text messages? I knew I shouldn’t have left you. I’m in New York!”

Thinking back he vaguely remembered her mention it. “Riley’s hurt. She’s in hospital. I’m with her, Lindsey is cleaning up my mess. Get your hungover arses to New York ASAP, bring Walker!” Shooting up, the room was spinning but hearing that Riley was hurt broke his heart.

“What do you mean she’s hurt? Lindsey is cleaning up your mess? What the fuck has happened?”

“Xavier didn’t die in that car chase, he was in New York. He hurt her. I killed him. She was bleeding. Just hurry!” Hanging up the phone, he hit Leo across leg- before pouring the remainder scotch over him.

“What the fuck Li?”

“Get up! Riley needs us! We need to get Drake. Is he still here?”

“What’s happened?” Liam explained the brief explanation that Olivia had said on the phone. “Shit!” Storming through the door of the spare room, they were relieved that Drake had stayed the night.

“Walker get up! We have a flight to catch!”

“What?”

“Liv killed Xavier! He’s hurt Riley. He was in New York as you suspected.” Drake felt as if he couldn’t breathe- he allowed her to become hurt and he wasn’t there to protect her.

“What is it?” Riley looked into his eyes, they provided hope. She couldn’t tell him the truth not yet.

“Erm, the nurse has just advised me to not have sex for a few weeks. That’s all.”

“Ri, I don’t care about sex. Just having you in my life, when we are ninety with a football team of grandkids that is all I want.” Ninety. Grandkids. Shit. I’m going to break his heart.

“Me too, I’m a bit tired. Why don’t you go and see the others?”

“Okay. I’ll grab a coffee, then I’m not leaving your side.” Kissing her on the forehead, the nurse walked back in as he stood up to leave. Making sure none of her friends were close by, she knew the staff had an inkling regarding the tests they did upon her arrival, and was eager for answers.

“So? Can you explain what we spoke about last night?”

“Miss Brooks, after the examination it does look as if the results will show positive......”

“Am I going to die?”

“It happens less often than it used to, but yes, it’s possible to die from cervical cancer- I’m not going to lie Miss Brooks. Generally speaking, the earlier cancer is diagnosed, the better the outcome. Cervical cancer tends to grow slowly. We are hoping to have caught it early, if you didn’t go through the trauma you’ve been through we may not have known for a while.”

“I had one chance at being a mother, I had that taken away from me. I’m never going to be able to be a mom am I?” Drake, I need to let him go. He doesn’t want to be my carer. Watch me die. He deserves someone who could provide him with the family he wants. The nurse opened her mouth to respond with negative news regarding fertility- until the door swung open muting their conversation immediately.

“Hey what are you doing here?” Shit I’ve been crying he’s going to worry.

“I forgot my wallet. Are you okay? Why are you crying? Do you want me to stay with you?”

“The nurse just explained that I was probably bleeding due to coming on to my period due to the stress. That’s all. No need to worry. I’m just crying because I’m on my period- women problems.” Lying she faked a laugh, knowing she needed to tell him the truth at some point.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Drake. I love you, I always will do- please don’t ever forget how much I love you.”

“I love you too. You have made my life complete- I’m so happy fate brought us together. We’ve gone through enough drama in the past, but we have each other. Our future is looking bright. I’ve got so many plans for the two of us.” Attempting to hold the tears in, she pulled him towards her- wrapping her arms tightly around him.

*****

A few days later, everyone landed back in Cordonia- Drake took Riley to his cabin, Lindsey had offered to collect her belongings from her apartment and bring them over. Watching Riley on the flight, Drake noticed her body tremble whilst she slept. Feeling useless, he held her tight to him- hoping at some point in the future he could cure her from all the pain. Walking through the cabin, Riley always believed it had that homey atmosphere.

“I’ll run you a bath baby. Then I’ll cook us something - okay?”

“That sounds amazing Drake. Thank you so much.”

“No need to thank me Ri. I’ll do anything to make you happy. Bastien and Lindsey are due any time though.”

“Good job we can’t have sex for a few weeks then- I wouldn’t like to see their reactions if they walked in on us.” Trying to make a joke, deep down she was hurting still.

In my nightmares I am dragged by my hair out of bed after refusing sexual intercourse with my ex husband. He’s angry again. Seeing me attempt to gain help by using my phone, he throws it just as I press send- grabbing the lamp, my head forms a huge lump immediately as he smashes it against it. Holding my arms tightly, he forces my body to move- I can’t fight- I feel useless. I’m trapped in the cellar. I can’t move my hands without feeling the restriction of the straps. My head is spinning, my vision is blurry. I lay against the cold damp wall with every ounce of strength- I still can’t budge. “Be the good wife that you always was.” Forcing my legs open, he pushes his penis inside me, I can’t prevent it. I am grateful that he has blindfolded me, as I could bare to look into his eyes or direction as he completed this despicable act. My back hurts right from the base of my spine to the tail bone. Saliva is pooling in the back of my mouth- mixed with his saliva. Once he finishes he places a gag in my mouth to shut me up, I gain a slight adrenaline rush- enabling my legs to kick him, attempt to push him away from me. One punch in the ribs. One forceful punch in the stomach. I am defenceless. I am now alone. My ears can only hear silence, mixed with my heavy breathing. Self infliction most people would say. My hearts pounding ready to explode. I hope to hear signs of someone coming to help. No one. I am still alone. I am back in hell. It’s like being back in Manchester all those years ago. My personal hell. No longer is the door open for me to escape, even if I could break free from the restraints keeping me trapped. Four concrete walls are surrounding me - I am left to potentially die. “Riley! Ri! Where are you?” It sounds like my sister, is it just an hallucination? I scream for help, hoping it would be loud enough with the gag in my mouth.

*****

Riley was still in the bath when Lindsey and Bastien arrived. Drake welcomed them in and offered them a drink.

“How is she?”

“She’s still quiet. It’s going to take time to heal. How are you Lindsey?”

“Well of course it will. I’m fine, I have Leo. I’m just glad I took Olivia with me. She had a plan, and Riley understood the hint of what she was about to do. I’m just grateful that the police believed her self defence story because he could have been dangerous to all of us. Riley thinks she’s clever and strong- no one could outwit a man like him unless you are called Olivia Nevrakis.”

“What did he do to her? I keep asking but I don’t want to force it. She remains silent or changes the subject. I should have been there to protect her.” Lindsey looked at bastien for reassurance, he nodded. He knew Drake felt guilty enough.

“If I tell you, don’t tell her that I told you. Let her open up to you.” Drake nodded, not really wanting to know but he needed to know to support her. “She told us that she wasted time in the bathroom waiting for me to arrive. He checked her phone and noticed she was checking the flights. He got in bed next to her, and tried to have sex- she refused. He pulled her hair, then dragged her out of bed. She managed to grab her phone and text our neighbour for help- before he hit her across the face with a lamp. Forcing her into the cellar- he tied her up, gagged her and put a blindfold on, before he ra- ra-raped her. She tried to put up a fight, but he punched her in the ribs and stomach. I’m assuming that is why she was bleeding. But neither she nor the staff confirmed this- they just said stress brought on her period early. I’m so sorry Drake, this was not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself. He was venom. A man like him could never change.”

“Drake, she’s stubborn- she believes she’s always right with the actions that she takes. She would never blame you for what happened. You went as soon as possible. She loves you, she knows you would never hurt her. Look after your girl, my niece. Have you still got your grandmothers ring?”

“Of course I have. Why?”

“When the times right, make sure you have it on you son.” Shaking his hand, Drake was happy with the support from Bastien and Lindsey- imagining Riley as his wife made his heart flutter. Riley Walker, has a nice ring to it he thought. Riley walked in to the lounge with a towel wrapped around her body.

“Hey.” Looking still fragile and exhausted- the three of them walked over to her. Drake held her waist and kissed her on the forehead, causing the visitors to smile softly at him.

“Hey sis. I’ve brought some stuff over- I wasn’t sure how long you’d be staying.”

“Erm.. well Drake did ask me to move in. I suppose I can collect the rest of my things another day. I’ll still keep my apartment.”

“Did he now?” Lindsey smirked at Drake, wondering when he was going to ask her another certain question.

“Yes I did. Why are you smirking?”

“Ohhh no reason.” Lindsey winked at him, now knowing that moving in together was the first step towards their future. “You look tired Ri. Are you okay? Do you need me or Bastien to get you anything?”

“I’m fine Linz. I’ve got marshmallow to look after me.” Looking up towards Drake, she smirked knowing he would potentially berate her for using her nickname. Instead he shook his head, and held her closer towards him. “But Bastien, I may need you to cover the next match for me.”

“Sure of course I will.”

“Does anyone know what happened with Constantine?”

“What do you mean?”

“He set up the whole faking Xavier’s death. He planned it all.” Bastiens eyes widened, he was now furious beyond words.

“Drake keep her safe. Lindsey I will drop you off at Liam’s immediately. I’m going to have words with him, I’ll meet you in the car Linz I need to make a phone call.” Before Riley could stop him, Bastien was dialling a number and headed out of the door. “He will be calm down, don’t worry. Enjoy your night together. I love you. Text me if you need anything.” Hugging the two of them, Lindsey smiled as she left the cabin.

*****

Riley and Drake had something to eat, his mind imagined Xavier hurting her, every thought broke him. Watching her try to get dressed independently, was frustratingly upsetting.

“Let me help you. Please. You’re struggling.”

“Drake, I need to try for myself. It’s just newly bruised ribs- but they do hurt. You’re not always going to be here, so I need to do it for myself.” Ignoring her, he assisted Riley getting her dressed. As he did, he kissed her ribs and stomach- the touch felt as if it had healed immediately, that was until his lips left the area. Laying next to her in bed, she snuggled into his embrace, locking his eyes onto hers as he held her lovingly.

When he looks at me it is as if every ounce of breath is taken away from my lungs floating into the air effortlessly. Every time he kisses me it feels like the world has stopped, melted away- leaving just the two of us. Holding me for eternity in his arms I've grown so accustomed to. This is what falling in love was like, a story that I never want to end. For so long I had longed for it, to be loved and not used as a punch bag- now I couldn’t bare to lose it - lose this person that makes me feel so complete. Would I lose him if I told him the truth? I want to protect him from becoming hurt. It’s strange how you can go from someone being a complete stranger, a slight jerk to begin with - to then being completely infatuated by him and wondering how I was able to live without him. I need to be honest. The results could come back with positive news- positive news that it was mistake and not actually be cancer.

“Drake?”

“Yes?”

“Erm... I don’t know how to say this... or how you’ll react... but what if I can’t keep to our promise about our future?”

“What do you mean? I know you’re hurt Ri. But please don’t split up with me- we don’t have to rush into anything. I’m happy just having you in my arms every night.”

“What if it was for the best to split up?” She bit her lip as she averted her gaze not wanting to witness his expression.

“We take one step forward and two back. Riley please, I’m begging you. Just be honest with me. Have I done something wrong? I’ll fix it. I can’t lose you. You mean too much to me.”

“But you may lose me.” Riley felt the muscles of her chin tremble, the tears burst forth like water from the dam, spilling down her face.

“Why will I lose you?”

“The reasoning.... for why I was bleeding.... I wasn’t on my period....”

“Riley we can get through this. I will never hurt you like he did. He’s gone.” Assuming she was about to suggest the bleeding was due to Xavier raping her- his eyes pleaded with her to give them a chance and to not give up.

“It’s nothing to do with him Drake. The hospital was concerned with the bleeding. Olivia thought I was pregnant and miscarried. I honestly believed it was due to stress. They did, a smear test and a pelvic exam....” Pausing to take a deep breath, she closed her eyes as she spoke the next words.

“They think I may have cancer.... if I do... you may lose me...” Drake remained silent, feeling like a selfish jerk thinking about himself yet again. “If Xavier didn’t do what he did, I wouldn’t have known. That’s why I was crying when you walked back into my room. I’m so sorry for lying, I wanted to protect you. I don’t want to hold you back Drake, I know what we had planned but I now may not be able to give you that. I don’t want to prevent you from living your dreams Drake. I want you to be happy. I need you to be happy, if I’m not here anymore.”

Drake thought back, all the memories of how they had reached this point of their relationship.

“Nice to see you in the flesh Walker. I look forward to working with you all.”

“I was never a ‘wag’ Savannah. I hate them. I was the odd one out. Biggest mistake of my life has been marrying a footballer- no offence Drake.”

“Um.. none taken... you’re married to a footballer... you’re a physio.... anything else you need to confess?”

“Excuse me? Mr Rhys knows all about my background, my estranged husband. There’s nothing more to tell. It’s none of your business Walker. My business is to make sure that none of you dumbasses injure yourselves too much!”

“You’re going to be trouble, I can already tell! You are.. look no offence. But this place is vicious. Full of secrets. If I was you I’d get back on a plane to America pronto!”

***

Before Riley could escape, he grabbed her wrist pulling her closer to him. There was a tingling sensation spreading throughout his stomach. Standing frozen, she could hear his heartbeat rapidly increase, every second he held her. Slowly he lent down, before crashing his lips onto hers whilst inhaling her fruity fragrance. The short kiss- made him feel intoxicated, she was going to be his newest drug- one he couldn’t wait to taste again. Riley looked at him with sorrow in her eyes as she pushed him away with an almighty force. Immediately she ran away as fast as she could. Not looking back, she was hoping to just be able to sneak out of the party without anyone noticing her. She was uncontrollably shaking, regretting that she didn’t do anything to prevent the interaction that had just occurred.

***

I know you probably don’t want to hear from me- I just had to get your number from Bertrand. I can still smell you on me- I haven’t stopped thinking about that kiss. I haven’t stopped thinking about you, I’m sorry that it was impromptu- it felt right. I hope it doesn’t ruin our friendship. 😞

You need to stop thinking about it. Everyone was drunk. It was a drunk stupid moment. I shouldn’t have allowed it to happen. We will never have a friendship- for the next nine months all we have is a professional relationship. Goodnight!👋🏼

So it meant nothing to you then? Nothing at all?🤔

It meant nothing. Please don’t text me back. See you at training.⚽️

Lie to me. Lie to yourself. But there was a spark there. We need to talk about it. See you tomorrow 😘

***

“Just pretend and give me it back after training” he whispered.

“Won’t your significant other half need your credit card to go on a shopping spree?” She whispered back before using her usual tone of voice.

“Thank you. Whilst you’re here- fill this form out for me please.”

“You can’t avoid me. We need to talk.”

“As I said to you, there’s nothing to talk about. You need to go inside and get ready for training.” He removed his top, smirking at her as he discarded it on the floor.

“It’s a sunny day.. might as well get a head start before the lads arrive...” Riley couldn’t help but admire his muscled and ripped body before shaking her head and making her way towards the dressing room. He’s taken, I’m married- you are here to work Riley Brooks.

***

“Wow!”

“Shit!” Grabbing her robe, she attempted to cover her body up- assuming it was Maxwell, she didn’t really care about him seeing her dressed like this. “What do you want?”

“Ive been telling you since last night that I wanted to talk. About you know what.”

“And like I have been saying since last night- it was nothing.” Riley feeling frustrated really didn’t want to talk whilst she was still drunk. “Can I come in? If anyone wakes up and sees us?”

“No. And if anyone sees you, I’m sure you could come up with another lame excuse.” There is no us - attempting to shut the door she failed as he forced the door to stay open with his foot.

“What did you want me to say? ‘Hey Bertrand, can you give me Riley’s number because I’ve just had the most amazing kiss with her.’ “

“No, but maybe you should have just not asked for it in the first place! I’m not a home wrecker. I don’t want to be the reason for a relationship breakdown. You should have just left it be.”

“You would never be just the other woman or the reason for my relationship breakdown. I like you. And I can’t show it in front of everyone. You are beautiful and I can’t lie and say that kiss didn’t mean anything.”

Moving closer to her, she bit her bottom lip- he put his hands on around her waist keeping a slight distance. Both their heartbeats were racing ten to the dozen. She wanted to push him away- she knew it was wrong, but there was a magnet pulling them closer together. Knowing the minute he touched her again her resistance would crumble. He brushed her hair away from her shoulder, moving his head closer to hers - his body now leaned against hers. Feeling his warmth- he crashed his lips onto hers, not a soft kiss like the prior night. Instead it was passionate and demanding. Picking her up he carried her over towards the bed- hovering over her, he knew what he wanted. He wanted her. Removing her robe, he began to kiss her body.

“We are both consenting adults- I want you Riley. That kiss last night made me want you more.” His eyes full of desire, deep down she was attracted to him and wanted this too. But she didn’t want to be that woman.

“I feel guilty. I can’t help it. I promised myself to never get involved with a footballer again.”

“Don’t feel guilty. I’m not like most footballers.”

***

“I was five, I hate most people and most women. But I like you. Ri.... listen to me. This is hard for me to say, because I don’t express my feelings. Ever. But... will you go out on a date with me? I’ll spoil you like you deserve to be spoilt.”

***

“I asked you to open your eyes because I want to look in them...Every minute I spend with you. I’m falling in love with you. Riley... I need you in my life. I know you’re still married to him, but I want to take you on a second date and...”

“And what?”

“I’ll look after you. I’ll protect you. I’ll keep you safe. If you’ll have me, I’d like you to be officially my girl.”

“I think we better get some sleep and allow them to get some too... I’m falling in love with you too Drake. Can I cuddle my handsome boyfriend?”

“I’d love to cuddle my beautiful girlfriend. I’m never letting you go.”

I’m never letting her go. I made that promise.

“Ri, we will get through this. Whatever the outcome is. I want to be with you, please don’t push me away. You’re not going anywhere, you’ll most likely outlive us all. Come on let’s get some sleep. I’m always going to be here. You and me. Forever. I love you Riley Brooks.”

“I love you too Drake Walker.” Almost instantly, Riley fell asleep in Drakes arms. Kissing her on the forehead- his emotions were finally released. The tears that were held in, were now falling down his cheeks.

I can’t lose you. I hope you fight baby- we have only just found each other. I’m not ready to let go just yet. I love you.

*****

“We are here today to celebrate the life of Riley Brooks....” Drake kept his head down, remaining in silence- Liam held his friend tightly. Not knowing what to say to him without sounding patronising.

The sun shone brightly through the church windows- as if Riley was still lingering around, the ray of sunshine that she was. Everything should be as dark as the emotions surrounding the room. But the birds still sang a merry tune and the flowers she had chosen for this day still bloomed- the perfumed scent lingering around. As Drake took an unstable stroll near the front the long held back tears began to flow. He was not ashamed, he loved her dearly- regretting that he never got the chance to ask her to his wife. Now she wasnt there the light had been extinguished forever in his heart. Goodbye my darling. I will always love you. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he was knocked out of his trance.

“Drake? I know how much Riley meant to you. But I’m here still. I can heal you.”

“No! You are not Riley! Get out of my face Kiara!”

No. I love her. I’ve lost her.

Drake woke up in a sweat, his heart jumping out of his chest. Sitting up, he wiped the sweat off his brow. Turning his head, Riley was sleeping peacefully next to him. Realising it was just a dream- a nightmare, he was now dreading what would happen if it was to become reality. Laying back down, he pulled her close to him- never wanting to let go.

“Tomorrow, I’m going to ask you to become my wife. Spend every day as if it’s our last. I love you so much Riley. I will help you fight, I will pay for private treatment. I’ll do everything and anything for you.” He was forced out of his thoughts, as there was a notification on his phone.

Fuck!

Breaking News

Constantine Rhys the chairman of the Apples has been murdered in his own home. Reports initially suggested a knife had been involved in the attack. A neighbour said they had heard someone yell “I’m going to kill you” during an argument prior to the death of Mr Rhys. More news to follow.

#trr choices #drake x riley #drake walker #riley brooks #trr fanfic #drake x mc #trr bastien #trr au cordonian wags #lindsey brooks cordonian wags #liam rhys #leo rhys #olivia nevrakis

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chiseler · 4 years

Text

“You think I’m the only one in this town who doesn’t like people?”

Following the JFK assassination, and especially after Charles Whitman climbed the Texas Tower in August of 1966, shooting and killing 14 strangers over the course of a lazy afternoon, lone mad snipers became an easy thriller standby. Targets, The Day of the Jackal, Two Minute Warning and dozens of other films since the late ‘60s have focused on a man, a rifle, and a perch. While snipers weren’t unknown to Hollywood prior to 1963 (Suddenly, Murder by Contract—even The Manchurian Candidate was in production before the assassination), they focused almost exclusively on gunmen with a purpose, paid assassins who were after a single, specific target, a politician or a mob hit. 1952’s The Sniper was not only one of the earliest films centered around an urban sniper, but remained an exception, really until the moment Whitman began pulling the trigger.

While on the surface The Sniper is a standard, straightforward police procedural about the hunt for a killer, what made it different was that the killer in question was a presumably unbalanced presumed vet who was killing random brunettes around San Francisco with a high-powered Army-issue carbine rifle. What also made the film different for the era was its focus on the psychology (some boilerplate Freudian hoo-hah) driving the killing spree. But beyond even all that, deep down it’s a profoundly strange picture disguised, for all its groundbreaking elements, as any other B thriller.

But let me back up here a second and come at this from a different angle.

In 1945, like so many intellectuals and Hollywood types (and when was the last time those two appeared in the same sentence?), director Edward Dmytryk began his little flirtation with the Communist Party. A few years later, like so many others, he found himself dragged in front of HUAC where he was asked to name names. When he refused, he was thrown in stir along with the rest of the Hollywood Ten on charges of contempt of Congress.

After a few months in prison, though, Dmytryk had a change of heart and called his lawyer. In 1951 he was released from prison, appeared before HUAC again, but this time in a far more cooperative mood, providing interrogators not only with 26 names, but also detailing how he’d been pressured to slip subliminal Commie messages into pictures like Crossfire. After this, having lost his martyrdom and no longer beloved of Hollywood’s Communist community, Dmytryk found himself just as effectively blacklisted as he had been before. So he moved to England and teamed up with producer Stanley Kramer, who would put him back to work for the next several years.

This is not the place to discuss Dmytryk’s politics, his justification or damnation, to pass self-righteous judgments long after the fact. But it is interesting to consider the first film made by a man fresh out of prison would be a message film about a rogue gunman picking off Californian brunettes, and one has to wonder if his time behind bars in any way influenced the film’s opening crawl.

Written by a powerhouse trio at the time (script by Harry Brown from a story by Edna and Edward Anhalt), The Sniper opens by informing us that present-day laws and law enforcement were useless when it came to dealing with sex crimes, and that the story we were about to see concerned a man “whose enemy was womankind.”

In the film’s first few seconds we meet the man in question, Eddie Miller, and it’s clear he’s teetering on the edge of something bad. Arthur Franz hadn’t yet established himself as a genre stalwart, playing rational, low-key, friendly sorts in the likes of Invaders from Mars and Monster on the Campus, and here turns in a remarkable performance as a believable psychopath. He never goes over the top and bug-eyed, instead playing Eddie as a tightly wound but always self controlled young man who may get occasionally twitchy and sweaty but always remains nearly emotionless.

A former mental patient who is well aware that things are going wrong in his head again, Eddie does what he can to get himself committed, but no one’s cooperating. In fact seen through Eddie’s eyes, the entire world is simply one slap, one humiliation after another. To some of us anyway, he’s an extremely sympathetic character.

Marie Windsor

Although later in the film the police come to the conclusion that he must be an ex-soldier, we are never given any proof of this apart from his weapon of choice. It doesn’t matter—now he drives a delivery truck for a laundry service. One of the regular customers along his route is attractive young nightclub pianist Jean Darr (Marie Windsor), who appears to be one of the few people, and certainly the only woman, who’s nice to him. So when what he believes to be a seduction turns out to be, well, not only not a seduction but ends with Jean treating him like any other errand boy, he snaps. It’s the only scene in the film in which his face reveals any emotion at all apart from confusion or cold boredom. That night he waits on a rooftop across from the bar where she works and shoots her as she heads home.

Enter the police, which adds another layer onto the external story behind the film. As Det. Kafka (if there is any significance to that name it’s never made clear), Adolphe Menjou, is also playing against future type as a gruff, less than suave, and mostly hapless cop. A few years prior to the film, Menjou was known as one of the fiercest defenders of HUAC in the business, which of course made his pairing with Dmytryk here a potentially disastrous one. By all accounts, however, it was a perfectly amicable working relationship, so much so that Dmytryk would use him again in a few of his subsequent films . But that’s irrelevant, too.

As more seemingly random dark haired young women are being picked off around the city (which in spite of all the location shooting is never identified as San Francisco), the police bring in criminal psychologist Dr. Kent (Richard Kiley) to work out a profile. With precious little evidence, the doctor jumps to the remarkable conclusion that these are in fact sexually motivated shootings. And that leads to the first head-scratching scene of the film.

Taking Dr. Kent’s very broad conclusion at face value, the cops round up every pervert in town for a line-up. Now, given that there have been no witnesses who saw the shooter, a line-up is pointless. Perhaps the cops realize this, which explains why the chief interrogator (sitting at a table in front of an auditorium full of officers) runs the line-up like a routine from an old Bob Hope special, introducing and dismissing the peeping toms, gropers, and rapists with well-prepared one-liners. To a schlub who writes obscene mash notes to strangers he begins, “So, Bob, they say the pen is mightier than the sword...”

It’s an oddball comic scene completely out of step with the rest of the film, and a scene that makes no sense within the context of a serious police drama. It’s darkly funny, yes (especially considering that we’re dealing with convicted sex offenders as the butt of bad jokes), and had the rest of the film been handled in this tone, well, it would have been a very different picture. As it stands it’s merely jarring and leaves viewers wondering what the hell it’s doing there. Personally I can’t recall another cutaway even remotely close to this in any other Dmytryk picture. Logically enough, though, the scene ends with dr. Kent muttering “this is pointless” before leaving the room.

He then goes on to deliver the film’s heavy handed message to the mayor, the press, and the other investigators—namely (and here’s where I wonder if Dmytryk’s prison experience is being reflected) that anyone arrested for a sex crime of any kind should be locked in a psych ward until they’re cured of their personal glitch. And if they aren’t cured, they should be left there locked away for good.

That leads to another delightfully baffling line of dialogue as Kafka orders a teenager with a broken antique rifle be sent to a nearby bughouse. “I don’t wanna be looking for this kid again in a couple years,” Kafka explains, “when he’s got a real gun...or maybe an axe.”

(An axe?)

In spite of a few weirdnesses along the way The Sniper still played like most any boilerplate thriller while at the same time being years ahead of the game both in terms of subject and solution. Extrapolating a bit on Dr. Kent’s recommendation, the kid being sent to the psych ward had not been convicted of a sex crime—he was just acting weird. Likewise, following the latest school shooting the do gooders are once again calling for the psychological incarceration of anyone who thinks differently, acts differently, isn’t like everyone else, as they represent a very tangible future threat. But the answer to this hamfisted solution can also be found in the very same scene. Before being sent to the local Bin, the above-mentioned teen with the broken gun tells Kafka, “You think I’m the only one in town who doesn’t like people? There’s millions of ‘em!” And we’ve been proving him right since 1966. So maybe it’s time we stop talking about locking these people up pre-emptively, and finally come around to accepting the simple fact that mass shootings might well be nothing more than a rational response to an insane world. by Jim Knipfel

#Jim Knipfel #The Chiseler #The Sniper #Marie Windsor #noir

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buckysforeverprincess · 5 years

Text

The Gift -Chapter 5

Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader (friends)

Words: 12398

Warning: Language maybe?

A/N: Have you figured out where this story is heading. I told you guys this was going to be a very emotional journey. You have been warned. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think.

**TAGS FOR THIS SERIES ARE CLOSED**

Your first trimester of pregnancy was rough. Many times, you cried to both Steve and Bucky, asking them why you ever thought this would be a good idea. You had headaches all the time, you couldn’t keep anything down, you had lost some weight, and you were tired all the time. The doctor assured you things would get better in your second trimester, but you weren’t so sure and even went as far as to call him a ‘lying liar who lies’ on more than one occasion.

When the second trimester came around, you did begin to feel better, and felt things start to look up. The baby obviously must have realized the two of you were in this together and should try to get along, allowing you to start eating more and be at little more active. This kid wasn’t even born yet and was showing you just how parenting was really going to be.

“I swear...this baby is one hundred percent you,” you joke with Bucky while you guys are sitting and eating lunch at the local dinner.

Bucky shook his head and scoffed, “I got no clue what you’re talking about,” he grins and puts a fry in his mouth, looking very much like a smug asshole.

“You’re so frustrating,” you smile back and take a bite of the burger on your plate.

Bucky watches you ingest the sandwich with a loud moan and shrugs his shoulders when a few of the patrons look in your direction.

“I take it the baby is letting you eat now?”

“Oh, god yes!” You muffled out, talking with your mouth full. “This baby is so stubborn...I wonder where that comes from?” You give him your best bitch face.

Bucky shrugs his shoulders, “I got no clue…” he says with his infamous million-dollar smile.

You roll your eyes with a smile and go back to your plate of food.

“I thought Steve was coming?” Bucky says after a few moments of silence, allowing you time to digest some more off your plate.

“Thought so too,” you grab your phone and look to see if you’ve missed any messages from your husband. “He had a doctor’s appointment this morning and said he’d meet us here.” You tap in your lock code and see no new messages or missed calls.

“What doctor was he seeing today?” Bucky’s brows furrowed with his questioning gaze.

“His oncologist. Just a check to make sure his cancer hasn’t metastasized, I’m sorry...grown or spread.”

Bucky chuckles, “No need to apologize, I do know what that word means.” He grabs his drink in front of him and takes a sip. “I’m surprised you didn’t go with him...don’t you usually attend all his appointments.”

You nodded and lowered your head, “Steve didn’t want me to go.”

“Why?” Bucky looks shocked that his friend would keep the woman he loved from supporting him at the doctor.

“He said…,” you sigh heavily, and a tear escapes your eye, “everything should be fine, but since I’m pregnant he doesn’t want me stressed and worried about him.”

“Y/N…,” Bucky reaches across the table and puts his hand on yours making you look up at him, “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but he’s just trying to protect you.”

“Protect me from what?” You ask, raising your voice a little, hormones and emotions starting to get to you.

“I don’t know…” Bucky’s the one that lowers his head this time not wanting to finish his thought process.

“From bad news? That’s what you’re thinking, right?” Tears are now streaming down your face.

Bucky nods and sighs, “Maybe?”

As much as you hated to hear it, you knew that was a possibility. Steve’s been receiving treatment knowing that it would only prolong the inevitable. There’s no cure for his cancer, he’s just biding his time until he takes his last breath. In fact, he could be on the receiving end of some horrible news today.

“Speaking of,” Bucky’s voice brings you from your thoughts and you turn around to see your husband entering the diner and heading your way.

“Sorry I’m late…,” he says when he reaches the table sitting down next to you and kissing your cheek.

“Everything okay?” You were quick to question, needing to know how his appointment went.

Steve gives you a soft smile and steals one of the fries from your plate, “Everything’s fine.”

Relief sets in and you exhale a breath you had been holding in since he sat down. “I’m happy to hear that.”

Bucky looks at Steve, not quite believing him, but his friend isn’t giving any signs of deception so he takes what he’s given. “Good...so are you hungry?”

Steve shakes his head quickly, “I knew I was late, the oncologist was running behind, so I stopped and grabbed tacos from the vendor around the corner from their office. So good!”

You giggle knowing just how good those tacos really are, but the baby in your stomach most likely won’t handle it well. Thank god, you’ve been able to keep down what you’ve eaten so far. This child does not like too many greasy foods.

“Well, I’m happy you joined us anyway.” You grab his arm and lean up against him.

Steve kisses the top of your head and Bucky rolls his eyes. “Ugh, you guys are so disgustingly cute...I think I’m getting an ulcer.”

“Is someone jealous?” You tease and raise your head, kissing Steve on the cheek.

Bucky scoffs, “Hell no! I’m totally good with living the bachelor life...less drama!”

Baby…,” Steve turns his head to look at you, “did you and Bucky discuss baby names?”

“Oh, no... we-uh...hadn’t gotten to that,” you stuttered out, not ready to start talking names yet.

Bucky senses your unease, and quickly comes to your aid, “You know, I’m not ready for that yet, especially since we won’t find out the sex of the baby until next month. I’m good with waiting.” Bucky throws a wink at you.

Steve looks between the two of you but shrugs off any additional thoughts. “Okay, we’ll wait,” he agrees with his friend, “but once we know we’re discussing names!”

Bucky chuckles and concedes to the blond, “Yeah, okay...after the ultrasound. Speaking of...you guys sure you want me to come?”

“Of course, we do!” Steve doesn’t hesitate to reassure his friend. “We’re in this together, remember?”

“Together.” Bucky’s eyes dart in your direction.

“Together,” you agree and smile back at Bucky and then Steve.

“Alright, my good friends,” Bucky shoves one last fry in his mouth and stands up from the table, “I gotta head back, lunch is just about over.” He takes out his wallet and places some money on the table. “Call me if you need me, okay?”

“We will.” Steve holds out his hand to Bucky.

“Really, Steve? A handshake? You could at least give me a hug!”

Steve smiles and shrugs his shoulders but makes no move to get up. “Guess I’m just tired from hurrying over here, that’s all.”

“Fine…” Bucky reluctantly shakes his hand and pats him on the shoulder. “See you soon,” he says. “Bye, beautiful.”

“Talk to you soon, Bucky,” you replied.

He nods and walks out of the diner and back out into the world.

“You sure you’re okay?” You turn and ask your husband, concerned by his last statement to his friend.

“I’m fine...there’s nothing you need to worry about.”

Gift Tags:

@chuuulip @jessieray98 @sexyvixen7 @mrsalh32611 @isabelcrichards @dumblani @becs-bunker @a-distantdreamer @mizzzpink @little-big-mac2 @joannie95 @abschaffer2 @affabletimelady @crazybutconfidentaf @jfrank1048 @ellliexo @hellomissmabel @pumbibaby @wintersoldier1017

Forever Tags:

@caplanreads @the-real-kellymonster @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @kruscht @v-2bucky @palaiasaurus64 @breezy1415 @amandarosemire @sarahp879 @supernaturaldean67 @averyrogers83 @winters-beauty @scarlettsoldier @lovely-geek @titty-teetee @suz-123 @patzammit @malfoysqueen14 @callmebucky-doll @ronnie248-blog @alyssaj23 @drakelover78 @thisismysecrethappyplace @geeksareunique @childishhoebinoo @thesassmisstress @bloodiedskirtts @brieannakeogh @peaceinourtime82 @theoneanna @leosandbuckysgirl @coal000 @seachelle-the-tideborn @the-goddess-of-mischief @mychemicalimagines @awkwardfangirl2014 @strangenerdsstuff @sea040561 @marvelobsessedteen @capnbuck-tiltheend-oftheline @thefandomplace @collette04 @nishanki1 @notyourtypicalrose @jamielea81 @lunardanvers @onebatch--twobatch @courtmr @emelody @miraclesoflove @kcd15 @clarysthing @crist1216 @yknott81 @babypink224221 @xxloki81xx @death-unbecomes-you

#steve rogers #steven rogers #steven grant rogers #steve rogers x reader #steven rogers x reader #steven grant rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fandom #bucky barnes #james barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #marvel #marvel au #the girft #medical diagnosis #cancer #pancreatic cancer

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saraaboo · 6 years

Text

The Last Time

All things are poisons, for there is nothing without poisonous qualities. It is only the dose which makes a thing poison.

Genre: Fluff and angst

Part one Part two Part three Part four

Suho?” you chimed walking down the last few steps of the hall. “ I know I said thanks in advance, but I didn’t think you would be here this -”

“Suho?” you chimed walking down the last few steps of the hall. “ I know I said thanks in advance, but I didn’t think you would be here this -” You were cut short not by what, but whom stood before you. “ I hate to burst your bubble kitten, but I’m not Suho.” Wendy was the last person you expected to see at the moment. How did she even get in your home? “Why are you here?” You sternly asked, you stance was rigid as if you were ready to fight her, but you didn’t really understand why. Maybe it was the tense atmosphere between you both. “It’s quite simple really”, she began, “you have something I want, so I’m here to collect.” “What are you talking about?” “You see, I like Sehun and I plan on using him to better myself, but how can I do that if he is still infatuated with you?” Shit. That was supposed to be a secret. “I still have no idea what you are talking about. “ She just laughed, it was light a melodious, but it still got under your skin. “Oh please ________, don’t act like I haven’t caught you both sneaking out of storage rooms or janitor closets adjusting yourself and reeking of sex. It’s so obvious. Although the spot of office whore has been stripped from you, it doesn’t mean you are innocent. All I need from you is to get Sehun to like me more than you. Once I have that I will use him until I have what I want in the company. It’s quite an easy plan really, I just need your cooperation. Can you do that for me ______? Or do I need to expose you to everyone?”

She held a manipulative smirk on her face. It pissed you off and made you laugh at the same time. She could expose you all she wanted, you were leaving the company anyway, so what good would it do? But then there was Sehun.. what would the news do to him and his reputation? Exo’s reputation? This could all come back on Suho, and that was the last thing you wanted to happen, especially after all he has done for you. Defeatedly you looked back into her twisted face before whispering “what do I need to do?” If possible her sneer grew even more. You sincerely hoped karma would come for her in full force. “Like I said, make Sehun mine. I don’t care how you do it, so long as you don’t touch him. He is mine after all. “ she concluded walking towards your front door, her heels clicking across your foyer in a taunting manner. “Bye ________” was the last thing she said before slamming your door, it’s echo filling the void of your now empty house. _____________ Suho smiled at his phone when your name had lit up his screen. From: Y/N♥️

Hope practice is going well ^^ Not to insinuate anything, but thai food would be much appreciated tonight! Thanks in advance! He didn’t reply to your message, but instead decided to end practice early so everyone can get some rest. His announcement to the boys was met with considerable agreement. Except from one member. “Where are you going that practice had to end early?” Sehun had cornered the leader while he was gathering his belongings. “What’s it to you?” He replied standing as tall as he could. Even though Sehun was the maknae, he was still taller than Suho could hope to be. “Your going to see _________ huh?” This irked Suho. What right did Sehun have to you? Especially after the way he treated you in front of him. Not to mention he so easily replaced you with Wendy. Suho had always disliked her, but that was Sehun’s business, and you are his business. “What I plan on doing is none of your concern. See you back at the dorm.” With that he turned on his heel and left Sehun in a disgruntled mood. _____________ To say he was excited to see you was an understatement. He had picked up Thai just like you asked, and had just pulled up to your place. That’s odd... why is her door cracked open? Suho cautiously approached the door, not knowing why it would be cracked. It was too cold outside for you to have the door open. “You see, I like Sehun and I plan on using him to better myself, but how can I do that if he is still infatuated with you?” That’s Wendy... what business does she have here? Suho did his best to hide behind the hedge next to your front door, trying to hear the best he could without being seen. “I still have no idea what you are talking about. “ He heard Wendy laughing. He could not stand her, she made his skin crawl. “Oh please ________, don’t act like I haven’t caught you both sneaking out of storage rooms or janitor closets, adjusting yourself and reeking of sex. It’s so obvious. Although the spot of office whore has been stripped from you, it doesn’t mean you are innocent. All I need from you is to get Sehun to like me more than you. Once I have that I will use him until I have what I want in the company. It’s quite an easy plan really, I just need your cooperation. Can you do that for me ______? Or do I need to expose you to everyone?” Although he couldn’t see her, he knew she had that stupid conniving grin on her face. Please don’t give into her ________, she is just using you too. He though to himself. “what do I need to do?” Dammit __________ why did you say yes? “Like I said, make Sehun mine. I don’t care how you do it, so long as you don’t touch him. He is mine after all”. “Bye ________” was the last thing she said before slamming the door and walking past the still hiding Suho. Once he was sure the coast was clear he carefully removed himself from the shrubbery and made his way inside. You weren’t in the foyer anymore, so his next beat guess was the room. “______________?” “In here” he heard your meek response. Sure enough, you were curled up in your bed. Suho didn’t know if he should bring up hearing your conversation with Wendy or not. He didn’t want to pry as it wasn’t his business, but he still wanted to protect you at the same time. “I know you heard me and Wendy” you began, voice trembling. “What do I do Suho? I don’t want her to ruin your reputation as well as the rest of the group, Sehun included.” By this point you were full on crying, hiccuping every other word. Suho couldn’t help but feel bad, he knew you didn’t want to help her, but he also knew how much you loved the boys. Even after all the crap Sehun said to you, you still cared. That’s what he loved about you, you didn’t have a hateful bone in your body. “Hey it’s ok, he cooed, laying the food to the side and gently wiping the tears from your face. “We’re going to figure this out ok? I’m not going to let her manipulate you or Sehun.” He continued to console you until your sobs subsided, still relieved that he didn’t have to hide his eavesdropping from you. “By the way... how did you know I was here?” He finally questioned once he knew you were calm enough. He heard you laugh, something he did not expect despite the circumstances. “I smelled the food” you replied still laughing. “Come on, let’s eat, I’m starving.” -Sara

A/N: Well here it is, part 4. I just wanted to give ya’ll an update. My health the past few months has been terrible. I had a kidney infection that got so bad my kidney swelled up, then once i started antibiotics to cure the infection, the pain came right back. Now it turns out I might ulcers and I have a mass on my liver. I have been a hot mess the last few weeks to say the least. I’m sorry that I took so long to update this, please forgive me.

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rayadraws · 6 years

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Hero FB adventures

This is the result of me, @jenny-opm, @shorthairsonic, @dibujos-de-la-orilla and @criscura talking about the concept of our boys (and their friends) using Facebook and what that might lead to... It led to a really fun discussion, so I’ve collected it as points here for anyone curious. It’s about 2.6k long so I’ll put it behind a Read More. Enjoy XD

Dr. Kuseno, being a technical genius, takes to Facebook like a duck to water, having no trouble navigating the site. However, he still acts like a stereotypical grandpa on there - when Genos posts a status along the lines of “Rainy day, perfect for a movie” Kuseno comments with “Indeed my boy, try not to catch a cold and send Saitama my regards. Kuseno.” He occasionally also teases Genos, such as sending him a photo of an electric whisk with the caption “your next upgrade is ready.” (In a misplaced attempt at being kind he tags Saitama in all ads for hair growth treatment he comes across… but at least he also tags him when he finds an unusually good sale)

It is actually thanks for a birthday post from Kuseno that Saitama learns when Genos’ birthday is the first time! He catches the borg sitting and smiling while looking a his phone, which is unusual - usually if he’s on the phone it's something from the HA, which normally has him frowning.

Neither Saitama nor Genos have a lot of friends on FB (to start with, at least). It’s mostly their closest friends such as King and Mumen. Genos also has Metal Bat added, who gives him (good natured) crap on near everything he posts.

Bang is the hopelessly confused Facebook grandpa, struggling to understand how it works. Poor Charanko does his best to help him… “How do I search here?” “You have to go to the search bar… No, that’s where you write your status” “My what?”

Once he does get the hang of it, Bang comments every time someone posts about themselves doing any sort of sporty activity with “Looking good! Ever think about coming by the dojo?” (It gets to the point that FB warns him for posting the same thing over and over and everyone is starting to suspect that his account has been hacked by a virus that just keeps promoting his dojo - poor Charanko is accused of setting it up)

Metal Bat SPAMS FB with videos of Zenko’s piano shows. Everyone knows about her recitals a week in advance because he keeps hyping it up. He also has a soft spot for posting glamour selfies.

Saitama posts a lot of blurry cat photos with no caption and sometimes food pictures. He posts at all kinds of random hours of the day, almost never answers anyone, his photos are low quality and he posts a lot of odd YouTube links.

Genos likes every photo of Saitama and uploads his own - somehow, Saitama always looks far less derpy in Genos’ photos (he’s studied all his best angles).

Genos has no shame and starts liking all photos of Saitama, going through every tag ever - meaning once in a while someone who went to high school with Saitama suddenly gets a like from Demon Cyborg on a photo taken 12 years ago. Unsurprisingly, people are SHOCKED at this and it takes them a while to figure out why - until they notice how he keeps tagging Saitama on his page. This is the only kind of interaction they get online with Demon Cyborg and people start tagging Saitama in photos in the hope of getting response from him. They slyly get photos of him in public and post and tag him in the hope of a response. As long as he’s awake (he’s a heavy sleeper) Genos likes them instantly, unknowingly rewarding his fans for their behaviour.

Genos never accepts friend requests from any non-heroes but Saitama sometimes does because “maybe that name’s familiar idk whatever” and some of Genos’ fangirls manage to befriend him on Facebook, consequently seeing his photos… causing them to just about spontaneously combust - “Did you SEE that photo of Demon Cyborg in an apron?!”

Genos notices this and tells Saitama that he is NOT to post his 124 bedhead pics of Genos to Facebook. Saitama forgets(?) and posts 53 of them anyway before he remembers he wasn’t supposed to. He tries to cheer Genos up - “But look at how many likes and shares they’re getting! This doesn’t even happen with the cat pictures!” Genos is not impressed to see his groggy-ass self on a million message boards (and tells Saitama that “...to be fair, Sensei, sometimes it’s hard to tell if they’re cat pictures.”)

Saitama is enjoying this game (not quite realizing the scope of this all) - sneaks a pair of cat ears on Genos, takes a photo and uploads, enjoying the storm afterwards.

Facebook suggests that Saitama upload a photo album that is just the same photo of Genos doing the dishes at slightly different angles and he’s like “why not” and posts that as well. This is followed up by a little video of him singing quietly and dancing a little while washing the dishes.

One day they come across a group of Demon Cyborg fans on the street who come up to them and ask if Genos could sign their photo books - they’ve printed a bunch of pictures from their FBs, full of like bedhead and apron pics (“Mr. Demon Cyborg sir I LOVED that video of you dancing with the mop!”). Genos can’t even process what’s happening and signs them with a stunned expression, while Sai takes one of the books, looking through it and pointing out his favourites. “Hey, I remember this one! Aw, dude, where’s this shirt? You look nice in it, I haven’t seen it in a while.” (“Mr Demon Cyborg I didn’t know you had feet slippers!” - a small part of Genos dies)

Saitama starts getting bombarded with requests on Facebook. “Get him sleeping!” “Get him laughing!” “Can you get him to pose in that white shirt, maybe with the ripped jeans?”

Saitama starts uploading little videos, such as himself telling Genos a bunch of puns as they go through a store. Eventually he figures out how to cut videos into clips and bombards Genos for two days to get “material”. It does get a bit overwhelming in the end however, so he tells the fans that he can’t take more pictures because his phone ran out of memory. To his despair, this leads to fans sending them shipments of memory cards, cameras and gift cards for even more stuff and it’s all very unnecessary. He even receives a brand new phone from “a fan”.

(The good side is, with all this training he is getting progressively better at taking pictures)

One day, the daily picture he uploads is very sad - just an empty chair with the caption “He’s at repairs” :(

Another day however, Saitama goes to upload a photo of Genos in his apron, but it’s… the wrong apron picture. He accidentally uploads a naughty pic, oops. It’s not the most obviously naughty one, not enough to get them banned from FB (and Genos has no nipples, anyway…) but it’s pretty obviously not meant for the public.

Genos is at first (rightfully) mad at Saitama… until they get like a million really nice apron lingerie sets in the mail. To get back at the other, he uploads a photo of a bare-chested Saitama - not at all prepared for the onslaught of “HOLY SHIT” responses, growing possessive instead of mad when the fans start screaming for more.

Saitama tries to take a good shot of himself but eventually Genos, even through being annoyed, takes the camera from him and gets a good picture. Fans ask for even more and a bewildered Saitama replies with “Um, sure?” uploading a half-naked bathroom selfie, where he’s still wet with a towel wrapped around himself. People go wild. (Genos can’t decide if he wants to delete the picture or share it so it’s on his wall as well. He is… conflicted.) (A less successful picture shows Saitama absolutely ripped, but unfortunately with a prominent double chin, like that time he played video games at the HA - selfies are hard…) (“Mr Saitama, can I request the ripped jeans again, but this time with you wearing them..?”

Unfortunately their shenanigans do not go unnoticed at they get called in to HA’s Public Relations for the umpteenth time. Their attempts at getting the heroes to take it down a few notches is made more difficult by them referring to Amai’s latest “I’m about to have sex” album cover as proof they aren’t out of line.

Amai Mask, in his defence, maintains that his pictures are “classy” and “done professionally”. Saitama responds with gesturing to a photo of Naked Apron Genos frying eggs - “This is classy!”. They continue with pointing out that more than likely, if they stopped, people would complain to the HA and they’d have to explain it was the HA who stopped them in the first place... (And really, the HA shouldn’t complain, Saitama and Genos are earning them so many donations….) "THEY CURED MY CANCER AND WATERED MY CROPS AND BLESSED MY CAT HERE'S MONEY" - “They did what now?!” - the HA representatives don’t even understand what this means but eventually lets it all slide. (The only one who understands the references is their intern managing the official HA twitter, but no one cares about their opinion…)

With all this material, Genos’ fan club is getting a lot more activity than Amai Mask’s, which doesn’t go unnoticed. Amai tries to upload “accidental photos” too in an attempt to become the centre of attention, but they are all obviously fake, such as “I woke up like this” pictures of him with perfect hair and makeup, nothing like Demon Cyborg’s messy hair and squinting eyes.

Amai tries again - “Oh no guys you won't believe this but, i was doing my make up right and omg my cat walked on top of my phone and took this photo of me lol” - someone digs up an old interview where Amai states that he’s allergic to cats (that someone is Genos). He also uploads a photo of a cup from Starbucks which has “To the prettiest guy I’ll see today” written on it and claims he got it (until someone points out that’s a photo from Google).

Meanwhile on Saitama’s FB page, a new video of an unaware Genos twitching in his sleep has just been uploaded, caption “look he’s dreaming shhh”

Saitama just happens to be awake late that evening and passes the time surfing FB, commenting “y’all never go to bed huh” when he sees the immediate responses - given how big Genos’ fanclub is, there’s always someone who’s awake. In fact, this video is more than likely to wake a number of fans up to scream over it. Saitama makes a little livestream showing off their cups as he brews himself some tea (“this is my cup. That one’s Genos’. We found it in a thrift store after he accidentally dropped the last one.” He finishes with showing Genos sleeping again and saying “see he’s sleeping now you all go to bed too”.

One day he posts a still picture of the sleeping borg, with the caption being just “I love him”.

It takes a while, but once the fans understand that their love is real and not changing, some of them start to (not always so) subtly suggest he should propose, such as tagging Saitama whenever a jewellery store has a good offer (they’ve picked up on his love for sales).

One day everything is quiet, then Saitama posts simply “He said yes” (or perhaps it’s just a picture of their hands wearing the rings) and FB EXPLODES. People ask for photos and Saitama replies with “All I got is him ugly crying oil everywhere” and the fans go “POST IT.”

After they’ve gotten engaged things get a bit more quiet, with Saitama just posting the occasional update like “he’s going to marry me” and “he’s going to be my husband”. “I want the date to be on his birthday but that’s too long of a wait” ,“he loves me”.

Fast-forward a bit. It’s been quiet for a while. Genos has barely posted anything but one day Saitama’s FB friends see that he’s been tagged in a picture that turns out to be a photo where Saitama appears to be passed out on the futon, drooling in his sleep and surrounded by empty pizza cartons. Caption “my husband to be”. (The picture completely blows up on FB)

Fans start speculating on their outfits, causing Saitama to sweat - he hadn’t planned that far ahead. He asks for suggestions and they end up covering the entire colour spectrum. He even enquires a little bit to hear if there’s anyone who’s a real actual wedding planner among their fans, it might work out…

In the end, they decide on a small private wedding, but Saitama does suggest he might be able to livestream it. He gives no date or anything to go by, however. In an attempt to keep it hidden, they end up hosting it at the dojo, hoping the stairs might also deter some potential invaders. (Bang is more than happy to host - maybe he can convince some people to join the dojo. The stairs aren’t a problem for the heroes, mostly - King does text Saitama with “I’m here can you pick me up” once he arrives at the bottom whereas Mumen handles them himself - but makes sure to arrive very early so he’ll have time for a shower before the ceremony. Saitama suddenly starts the livestream out of the blue on FB, writing “k its happenin!” and a bunch of fans tune in. (Hopefully Bang won’t hear about the livestream or he’ll start advertising on it, too…)

They get married!!

(Back to where we started - how does Kuseno react to all this FB shenanigans? Well, more than likely he doesn’t spend too much time on FB, but he does check periodically, probably catching at least a couple of the pictures of Genos sleeping and in his apron and whatnot. As always, he replies good naturedly - “glad you’re getting your rest son”.

Kuseno also has a habit of going full-on Geek and writing very long explanations regarding Genos’ body sometimes - such as explaining why he twitches in his sleep, or an explanation on how his cooling systems work in response to someone writing “WAAAHHH WHY IS HE SO COOOL” on one picture. Unfortunately, Kuseno doesn’t realize that his FB is set to friends only, so only Saitama and Genos see these comments…)

Bonus: Saitama occasionally tags Genos in pictures he takes of cheap bootleg Demon Cyborg merch he comes across, disappointing fans hoping to see a new photo of him, only to be met by his asymmetrical poorly painted face on an action figure. “It’s not even official merch…”

Saitama has a habit of buying the especially poorly made ones because “they’re funny”.

One fan asks one day if Demon Cyborg owns any merch and Sai uploads a photo of all the stuff he keeps in the apartment with the caption “And even more stuff at his docs”.

The fans are stunned - but some are also like “ok but where do I get these things?!”

"says he special ordered them or w/e" "oh this other one was from HA" "oh... he says it's out of stock" "he has the stock" ”Maybe if you ask him real nice. Doubt he’ll let go tho he only has like 278 of them” ”...he informs me he has 289”

The fans try to barter with Genos, such as offering to draw a NEW Caped Baldy posted in return for one of those charms. At this point Saitama is starting to wonder why he has to be the bridge between fans wanting Caped Baldy merch and Genos. Genos doesn’t seem to want to talk directly to his fans, but eventually agrees to use Saitama’s account, basically pretending to be him - the fans do eventually get their merch, but are confused as to why Saitama suddenly seems to turn a lot more serious and formal whenever it comes to merch talk (and is that 10 page terms of service really necessary?!) but at least in the end they get a super rare piece of merch not available anywhere else (because Genos bought them all).

#gosh #well there you have it #this was such a fun discussion I enjoyed it a lot XD <3333 #thanks guys you're the best #to anyone who read the whole thing (woah good job) I hope you liked it too!#all for fun ofc #genos #saitama #genosai #saigenos

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killmesoftly25-blog · 7 years

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Change Pt. 1

{Lafayette x Reader}

Warnings: curses, talk about rape and sex, sexism, gross men criticising women. and eventually the reader is gonna change herself for love, so idk if thats a warnings cuz you should never change yourself for somebody unless you made a promise for like, drinking or something idk

(also your “dad” ’s talk with the general was based on Clay and Bryce’s talk in 13 Reasons Why)

–///—-///–

Murder. It’s a word that most people fear. Unless you do it for a living.

And that’s what you did. You were a murderer. An assassin. A cold-blooded killer.

You seemed normal to most people, yes, but inside, you were empty. That’s what you were taught. Feel nothing. That way no one can get to you.

It all started when you were 7.

*Le Flashback || 12 years ago || 1764*

{- British Headquarters -}

“I have come to make a deal, General Gage.” said your father. He was a vile, cold man, who only married your mother for her family’s wealth and status.

The British General looked at the man sitting across from him with his bright blue eyes, “You have come from your little home all the way in Brooklyn just to make a deal with me? Quite sad isn’t it, Colonial?”

Said Colonial sneered at the Lobster Coat,“You will enjoy this General. I assure you on my mother’s grave.”

Thomas took his promise for word and nodded his head. Your father straightened up and spoke,“I am willing to give you my eldest daughter’s hand in marriage in order for guaranteed protection from your men.”

That perked the General’s interest,“Her hand, you say? You must be one sick bastard to do that. But then again, I’ve fucked more women than I can count.”

Your father gave him a disgusted look, “Fuck? Or rape?”

“Fuck, rape? Same thing. Women ask for it, with the revealing things they wear.” The Redcoat said

The Colonial opened his mouth to retort, but quickly closed it. Instead, he took a deep breath and gave a glare to the man before him,“Deal or no? I don’t have all day, General…”

Thomas scoffed scoffed,“You do realise where you are right now, Colonial? None the matter, yes. I accept.”

And so the deal was made. Harleen L/N was to marry General Thomas Gage once she turned 18.

Except that didn’t happen. Three weeks before her birthday, Harleen ran away with a musician who played at the local bar.

Two days later, a fire started at the L/N estate. In the dead of the night.

You were awoken by your 14 year old brother, Nicholas. He picked up your small frame and rushed out of your room, down the stairs, and to where your 10 year old sister, Jordyn was.

Together the three of you ran away from the orange glow that was now your old home. Where the murder of your parents’ happened. Where it all started.

*Le Present Time || 12 Years Later || 1776*

{- Local Bar -}

You walked into the bar that normally held loudmouthed brainiacs, and was almost surprised by the lack of noise.

You walked up to the bar and slammed a photo of a young man with red hair on the wooden bar. The bartender jumped a little, and paled when he saw you.

He quickly dismissed himself from the customer he was tending to, and walked over to you.

“H-hello Miss. L/N, how may I help you?”

“I’m looking for this man. He was last seen giving a message about the Continental Congress. I need information from him.” You said pointing to the picture

The bartender, Henry, sighed in relief and pointed behind you,“Those four young men in the blue coats from the army just came from having a, uhm, "talk” with him.“ Henry paused, and leaned in to whisper in your ear,"They seem to have been following your movements Miss.”

You nodded your head in thanks and turned around. As Henry had pointed, four men in matching coats were sitting in a booth staring at you. Just about everyone was staring at you. In disgust.

Not a surprise, with your attire and all. A brown corset sat on your torso, with a light white sweater underneath. Your black pants were loose-fitting, so it was easier to move around in. You had a green scarf wrapped around your neck and black boots that you had stolen from a camp off the Hudson River.

You stalked over to the group of boys with a straight face. They all stopped whispering and looked up at you.

For the first time in a long time, you felt emotion. Something you weren’t supposed to feel. It felt, nervous?

The boys seemed nice enough. The shortest one had light skin, deep eye bags, a light stubble, and black hair pulled up in a messy ponytail. The one next to him was a tad bit taller, had so many freckles it seemed like a corn maze, and brown curly hair in a loose ponytail.

Then came the ones opposite them. The broader one of them had dark skin, and short black hair in a light grey beanie.

Then there was the tallest of the four. For some reason, he caught your interest more than the others. Deep brown curly hair was piled into a neat bun on the top of his head. His rich brown skin had a very neat stubble on his chin. And his eyes. Gods the last time you saw a man this attractive he almost kidnapped you. Not before you, had your “share” with him. (no not like that, youre a murderer for zeus’ sake)

“Pardon my intrusion but Henry told me you recently had a, "talk” with this man. Would be so kind as to point me in his direction?“ You said as politely as you could, placing the photo on the table.

The shortest one gulped,"Well, uh, yeah, we’ve seen him.”

You raised an eyebrow and opened your mouth to respond but was cut off by a French accent,“What mon amie Alex means is that we have seen him.”

The supposed Frenchman spoke as you closed you mouth. You cheeks felt hot, which was new. “T-that doesn’t answer my question.” What the hell? You thought, Since when did I fucking stutter?

“Alex sent him on his way, ain’t that right, Laf?” The biggest one said, slapping his hand down on the Frenchman’s shoulder.

“Oui. Hercules is right. Monsieur Seabury was talking about some matters with the la monarchie. And Alex took the matters into his own hands.” ‘Laf’ said.

You took out you leather journal and wrote down some quick notes, trying to distract yourself from the man in front of you. “Seabury? Do you happen to know his first name? Or what direction he went in?”

The freckled one pointed South,“Just outside 'a New Jersey. He was going to another Loyalist meeting or somethin’. And 'is names Samuel. Samuel Seabury.”

“As my boy John said, South. Should take you a day or two. May I ask why you need to know?” Alex said

You glanced up and blinked a few times. Pushing a lock of hair behind you ear you spoke,“Just business.”

Hercules raised an eyebrow,“Business? No sexism but isn’t that a bit unusual for a woman?”

I have to get out of here, You thought. Clearing your throat, you backed up slowly,“Well, its getting a bit late, yes? Thank you for your help but I must be on my way.”

The boys stood up and tried to protest but you turned around quickly and rushed out of the bar. Grabbing your horse, Artemis, you steadied her and began your way.

“Mademoiselle! Wait! You forgot your book!” A voice called behind you.

Your eyes widened as you cursed yourself in your head. You slowed down the Mare to a halt, and turned her around.

The Frenchman was running down the cobblestone road carrying your journal. He was very fast. And tall, You thought

He was a teeny bit out of breath, but shook his head to regain composure. “Your book, mademoiselle.” He reached up to give you the said object, which was more like handing it since he was only several inches shorter than you from this height.

You took back your journal and tucked it safely into the saddle bag by your calves. “Thank you sir. Have a good afternoon.”

You turned Artemis around but he stopped you by grabbing the reins,“Attendez. Please.”

You looked down at him, not sure if what to do. “What is your name? Will we be seeing you again?”

The question took you aback. Someone cared to know? That was new. Happiness. That was something you felt.

“Y/N. And if we do see each other again, you are lucky. Have a good afternoon.”

“Lafayette.”

You blinked. “Pardon?”

“My name is Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette. I hope to see you again Mon Cher.”

Heat came on you cheeks again. What is this feeling? You thought

In that moment, you let your guard down. For a split second, and you guessed that he saw it, because he smiled. Gods, his smile. You were sure it could cure the Yellow Fever.

You gave him a small one in return, and nodded. He let you go, and as you rode away, you couldn’t help but think that maybe you would come back to this place.

–///—///–

Lafayette looked at you as you rode away gracefully, wondering if and when you would come back.

He stayed there for another minute or so, a dreamy look on his face, and whispered one word.

“Y/N.”

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incursionofthedamnedrpg · 7 years

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Molly Reynolds Accepted! Macs, welcome back! We missed you and Molly so much and can’t wait to have you here again! You know the drill :)

Name: macs B)

Age: 18

Timezone: est

State an account where we can message you: this one!

How active you’re going to be: 6-8, depending on my coursework and my job

How did you find out about this roleplay? i was here back when dinosaurs roamed the earth tbh

Why do you want to play this character? because i missed my cute freckly murderous child and you guys so so so much!!!!

Anything else you would like to tell us? just that ily all and i’m so glad to be back!!!!

IC:

Preferred Ships: chemistry pls and thank

Sample para:

RFP.

Name: Molly Reynolds Birthday: July 4th Species: Hybrid Lookalike: Teresa Palmer Availability: Taken

Personality

Easily hurt by other people’s words and quick to tear up, Molly was once an emotional person. After she became a hybrid, however, she buried most of those traits in favor of someone who let everything roll of their back. Careless and reckless to a fault, the hybrid has no qualms with using her gifts of compulsion and dream manipulation to get what she wants, nor does she have an issue with murder or torture- the opposite, in fact. Rather than despise those acts, she enjoys them, and takes part in them whenever possible. There are only a few people who Molly appears to find her humanity around, and that number has done nothing but dwindle greatly over the past few months. Though she’s smart enough to cover her tracks and fake innocence near the right people, she doesn’t have a high regard for human life, and the thrill she receives from inciting chaos is no doubt going to get her in trouble sooner or later.

Past

Not much is known about the hybrid’s early life, even to herself. Molly was born on July 4th, 1994, the second in a pair of twins to Matthew and Sarah Reynolds. However, Matthew (an abusive alcoholic) only wanted the first child- a boy they named Joseph or ‘Joey’- and forced Sarah to give her up for adoption. Molly spent the entirety of her childhood bouncing between foster homes and shelters across Virginia, and seemed to only encounter cruel and negative people along the way. When the foster system finally turned her out at 18, she had nothing but an eating disorder and a single file on her biological family. She travelled to Mystic Falls in order to make contact with her birth mother, but was disappointed with the reception she received. Sarah only met Molly in secret, and it only took a few months for her to cease contact with Molly altogether. She didn’t find out the truth – that her father had murdered her mother – until much later, when she finally approached a drunken Joey what felt like eons later.

He spilled the entire story, revealing to his twin sister that he, after finding out that his father had been sexually abusing their little sister before her suicide in addition to killing their mother, had murdered him and triggered his werewolf curse. It wasn’t until much later that she revealed that they were related, and though he wasn’t exactly pleased she had withheld the news at first, the two formed a close sibling bond.Molly felt as though her life was finally turning around after that – after a scare she checked herself into a rehab facility and kicked her eating disorder, and finally found herself making good friends in town. For a few months, things were great, but that spell was broken when she triggered her werewolf curse protecting a friend. She struggled greatly with being a werewolf- turning was agonizing, and the rage was near impossible for her to control. It wasn’t long before- to the best of her knowledge- she was involved in a life-threatening accident and was turned from werewolf to hybrid.

After completing the transition, Molly changed into what seemed to be a different person. No longer soft spoken, kind, and eager to please, the new hybrid only cared about Joey, Lucas and his family, and where her next high would come from, whether it was blood, sex, drugs, or murder. The blonde had developed quite a taste and talent for not only killing but liking it, something that only worried the furthest corners of her mind. The devastation of losing most of the people left that she cared about only intensified her new persona, and she began caring even less about the bodies she dropped. In fact, she’d stopped caring about much of anything that didn’t involve Joey. After being infected with Hep V by her former friend, Tamsin Sales, and helping her brother both cure himself of the same infection and kill Tamsin, even the furthest corners of Molly’s mind stopped hoping for redemption. She began spending less and less time in Mystic, using her compulsion to travel the world and see all the sights she had been denied as a child.

Present

Regardless of where she was, she fed and tortured and killed without remorse: the only sliver of humanity she seemed to have left lay with her brother. After countless months spent far away from the town that had forged her, Molly finally made her way back to Mystic Falls as rumors of chaos rippled from there across the supernatural community. She’s eager to claim her place among the other antagonists in town once again, and that can’t spell anything good for the human residents of Mystic Falls.

Connections

Joey Reynolds

Twin brother. Essentially Molly’s only link to humanity; she would do anything and everything to keep him safe, considering he’s the only family she has left.

Genevieve Angeli

Molly and Gen were close (or as close as Molly gets with anyone) when she was a permanent resident of Mystic, and she certainly wouldn’t be opposed to seeing this old acquaintance.

Malachiai Parker

Molly heard rumors of his antics before returning to town, and is intrigued. She sees him as either a potential partner in crime or an enemy, but hasn’t quite decided on which.

#accepted

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rossparis · 7 years

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youtube

Together With You

Bb. Pilipinas Queens Rachel, Mariel, Katarina, Elizabeth, Chanel, and Nelda join hands for a monumental campaign against HIV/AIDS

With the alarming increase of HIV/AIDS cases in the Philippines in recent months, six Bb. Pilipinas Queens 2017—Miss Universe Philippines Rachel Peters, Bb. Pilipinas-Supranational Chanel Olive Thomas, Bb. Pilipinas-International Maria Angelica De Leon, Bb. Pilipinas-Intercontinental Katarina Rodriguez, Bb. Pilipinas-Grand International Elizabeth Clenci, and Bb. Pilipinas-Globe Nelda Ibe—pledged their support for #Together, the new awareness campaign of HIV advocacy group The Red Whistle.

In what could be touted as a first monumental campaign in beauty pageant history, the statuesque beauty queens, who will be competing in international pageants in the coming months, took time off their busy training schedules to pose for photographer Niccolo Cosme. Each queen took on the key messages of the #Together campaign: encourage, empower, accept, commit, support, and love. Miss Universe Philippines Rachel Peters, who is in the thick of her Miss Universe training, made sure that she would not miss the opportunity to be part of this monumental campaign.

“Well I believe that the youth should know what HIV is and what AIDS is. There’s a difference between the two and it’s important that they know this difference. Statistics show that the youth, between 15 to 20 years old are the ones who are mostly affected by HIV.

In this age of fake news and misinformation, having the right knowledge spells the difference between being safe and being infected with the virus.

“I think that if you get them involved, if you teach them about it, they’ll know how to prevent it and when they do that, they’re also keeping the people that they love safe. That’s why I think it’s important to educate people and to get them interested and I think Save Sexy is a wonderful platform because they’re able to address the issue in a fun and a cool kind of way.

“As Miss Universe Philippines 2017 I feel that I’m in a position where I can reach people, especially the youth, and to have this influence you need to be able to use it for something positive. This is extremely relevant especially in the Philippines. And so when I was asked to come on board, I was quick to jump on and say, ‘Yes, let’s do it.’”

Bb. Pilipinas-Supranational Chanel Olive Thomas believes that while the awareness surrounding the topic of HIV/AIDS has grown by leaps and bounds over the years, it’s still not being talked about by the very same age bracket that it targets: the youth.

“It’s a topic that’s not necessarily being spoken about that much,” she laments. “By being part of a campaign such as this, we’re bringing awareness to such a good cause. Our hope is to be the cure. Getting the youth involved is so important, because they are the future.”

Chanel, who dreams of becoming a motivational speaker, admits that she doesn’t really know what a person living with HIV goes through in life. But if she were to come face to face and sit down with one, she’d encourage that person to take up the cause and make a difference.

“Whatever they’re being given in life, it’s because they are able to handle it. They’re strong enough,” Chanel says. “They should not see it as the end. Instead of thinking ‘I’m done, I’m finished,’ they should start seeing it [their situation] as, ‘I can do something positive with this. I can make a change. I can stop it.’ With that mindset, they can be their own role model. It’s just the beginning.”

Bb. Pilipinas-International Maria Angelica De Leon could not agree with Chanel more. She believes that it only takes one person to start a ripple to make people start talking about HIV/AIDS.

“In today’s world, especially with the rise of social media, the voice of the youth has become more powerful than it was before. It’s important for even just one person to start speaking about what they should speak about, especially with this cause, since a lot of people, particularly the youth, are affected by it. We should all stand together, so that we can fight against it.”

Mariel, who has 65,000 followers on Instagram, says that today is the perfect time to speak up about HIV and encourage people to get tested.

“Getting tested is a taboo topic for most people, especially for those who are not sexually active. They think that the only way to get HIV is by having unprotected sex. People can get it through sharing needles, or HIV+ mothers [can transmit it to their child]. We have to talk about it like it is not taboo. We have to talk about it because we need to. There’s nothing wrong with getting tested.” Not only is knowing one’s status a sign of maturity, it also speaks volumes about how much a person cares for his loved ones. Bb. Pilipinas-Intercontinental Katarina Rodriguez believes that getting tested and educating oneself about the dangers of HIV helps a person understand the world around him better. “The youth should participate in campaigns such as this one helps them understand what really is going on the world, how it affects them, our country. It’s a sign of having respect for oneself.”She adds, “I just got tested last December. You’re supposed to get tested every six months, even if you are a virgin. You might not know these things until it’s too late, or you’ve already passed it on to your partner or somebody else.”

Katarina, who has been participating in Save Sexy campaigns since 2014, feels grateful for having Bb. Pilipinas as an effective platform where she can help bring pressing issues to the fore.

“Through Bb. Pilipinas, I can reach the entire nation whether through interviews, or social media. And if I win an international crown, I can use my international platform to educate more people because this is something that is not just focused on the Philippines. It’s a global issue.”

Bb. Pilipinas-Grand International Elizabeth Clenci believes that if people continue talking about HIV, then we’re already winning the battle against HIV.

“I think education and awareness in anything is an incredible campaign. It’s important to educate the youth, especially if it’s something as colossal as HIV. Talking about it here is somewhat taboo. That’s why I use my voice on social media.”

Elizabeth adds, “Whether you’re sexually active or not, it’s okay to get tested. It’s not an awkward thing that you should keep to yourself. If they see their friends getting tested, whether they may or may not be at risk, then they will become more comfortable with it.”

Bb. Pilipinas-Globe Nelda Ibe stresses the importance of “walking the talk.” Nelda, whose other advocacy is helping underprivileged kids gain access to free education, believes that if we want to see “real change,” then it must first come from within ourselves.

“As Bb. Pilipinas-Globe, we should take action and give them encouragement. We have to assure them that they’re not alone in their battle against this disease. We have to be open-minded.”

The Red Whistle is rolling out its #Together campaign starting in October and is part of a series of activities and events which will culminate at the Love Gala on December 1 World AIDS Day for more information, visit www.lovegala.org. This shoot series is made possible by Viva Glam by MAC cosmetics and Creations by Lourd Ramos. For updates and other news, follow TRW’s social media pages: Facebook.com/TheRedWhistle Twitter and Instagram @TheRedWhistle Website: TheRedWhistle.com

MAC Viva Glam In 1994, as HIV and AIDS continued to spread across the globe, M·A·C made HIV/AIDS organizations the beneficiaries of the company’s charitable focus and the M·A·C AIDS Fund was created. To date, the VIVA GLAM campaign has raised over $450 million for the fight against HIV/AIDS, with spokespeople such as Lady Gaga, Pamela Anderson and Nicki Minaj.

#TogetherPH #SafelyPH #LoveGala #VivaGlam

#Reach1Test1Save1

#social #video #rossparis #bbpilipinas #beautyqueen #philippines #ads #campaign

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countingstarsbytoniii · 5 years

Text

Chapter 2: Movie night

I went back to my room and started unpacking again. I'm so sick of boxes everywhere! I unpacked all of my clothes, and some other things. But then I got tired of unpacking again, and gave up. I watched TV for a while, but quickly got tired of that too. I'm really inpatient. I got restless, so I put on some music and stated singing and dancing around in my room. I heard the music downstairs come on, and it almost blocked my music. I gave up listening to music, so headed back out again. "Where are you going, honey?" I heard my mum yell after me as I passed the living room. She only calls me honey when she's drunk. "Out!" I yelled back. "Where out?" he answered and stepped into the hallway with her glass of red wine in her hand. "Outside!" I said without even looking at her, while putting my shoes on. "Oh, wait for me. I'll come with you" she said and grabbed her boots. I pulled them out of her hand and tossed them as far as I could away from her. "No fucking way!" I said, walked out and slammed the door behind me. Actually this was a good day. There's been three days since I talked to my mum as much as I'd done today.

I saw her standing in the window looking at me as I left. I felt so bad. It was breaking my heart treating her like this, but I have a hope she'll understand that I don't want to have anything to do with her when she's drunk. Maybe she'll try to approach me when she's sober, if she just gets the fact that her drinking is not okay. I headed to the playground and sat down on the swings like yesterday. I couldn't get the picture of my mum standing in the window looking heartbroken out of my head. I tried wiping away the tears before they could even reach my chin, but I failed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I recognized the voice at once. "No, not really" I said, and Riker sat down on the swing next to me again. It's was just as dark as yesterday, so I could still not really see what he looked like. We sat there for a long time. Maybe an hour or so. None of us said a word, but we were still enjoying each other's company. "Wait here" he said, got up and disappeared into the darkness behind me.

After a short while, he was suddenly standing next to me again. He grabbed my hand and said "Come!" It looked like he had brought some kind of bag with him. "God, you're like a ninja" I said and followed him. He guided me over to the play set. He opened the bag and pulled out a blanket that he placed on the ground. "Sit!" he said and pointed at the blanket in front of us. I sat down and leaned on one of the climbing walls on the play set. He sat down next to me and started digging in his bag again. Then he pulled out two boxes. "Chocolate fudge or cookie dough?" he asked. I quickly understood that he was holding two boxes of ice-cream. "Cookie dough!" I almost screamed and tried stealing the ice-cream from him. He laughed and handed me the box and a spoon. "I think ice-cream is the best cure to sadness." he said while we were eating. "Who told you?" I asked him. "I watch a lot of movies." He said and we laughed.

We talked a lot that night. He made me feel better. Or... it might have been the ice-cream, of course! But he was the one who brought me the ice-cream, so I like to think it was him anyway. It's something about him that makes me feel safe. He's a really good listener, and I haven't had anyone to talk to for a while. It was really easy to talk to him, even though I don't really know him at all. At around two o'clock at night, we went home again. I was really tired and went straight to bed.

The next day I stayed home all day. I had finished unpacking all my boxes and was rewarding myself by watching my favorite movie. I had watched half the movie when I phone buzzed. It was that Ross guy from yesterday.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Watching a movie. Zup?" I mostly answered because I was bored. And some part of me found him strangely fascinating... or maybe just handsome. I don't really know.

"Not much. What movie?"

"Green street hooligans"

"Never seen it. Is it good?"

"My favorite! Watch it!"

"Only if we watch it together ;) or that might not be such a good idea. We would probably miss the whole movie, if you know what I mean ;)"

Jeez, I've met him once and he's already trying to hook me? Still, I caught myself smiling without knowing why.

"Wow! How old are you anyway?" I asked to change the subject.

"Does it matter? How old are you?"

"19. It does matter to me! If you're minor I have to ask your parents to have "the talk" with you before I let you send me dirty sms ;) "

"Haha, I'm 19 too if it really matters that much. I don't need "the talk". I learn better from experience ;)"

"You have a lot of experience? ;)" as soon as I sent the message I regretted it. I don't even know this guy! What am I doing?

"Years! Want me to prove it? ;)"

Again I caught myself smiling. He doesn't seem like he's up for a relationship. Sex is just sex, right? And it's been a while since my last time... What? No! Why am I even thinking about this?

"haha, I don't even know you" Phew! I can't get this easily carried away.

"We could always do something about that ;)"

I smiled again, but decided not to answer.

I watched the rest of the movie and decided to go to the café again. Maybe I could look around too. I've never really been anywhere else than the café and the neighborhood. So I went back downstairs and straight to the door. I could see my mum lay on the couch watching TV. I put my shoes on and opened the door. She didn't say a word, which means she's sober at the moment. Lucas is probably not home with the whine yet.

I went to the café and bought another milkshake. I started walking around in the aria. I came across a supermarket, a cinema, a couple of restaurants, some parlors and similar other small stores. I also came across a small mall. I never really liked shopping so I started walking back. I passed the brown haired guy who I'd seen with Ross earlier. He was with some other blonde guy, but this guy was taller than Ross. Something about him seemed familiar, but I've probably just passed him on the street before.

I came home and took my shoes of. The music was playing so loud in the living room that no one heard me come home. I went straight up to my room and turned the lights on. My phone buzzed right away. It was Ross again.

"Are you home?"

"Yes"

"Are you busy?"

"No. Why?"

He didn't reply, but ten minutes later the doorbell rang. "Oh no, he didn't!" I thought to myself while running downstairs to open the door. No one downstairs heard the doorbell. "Not such a dumb idea to have the doorbell-speaker on top of the stairs after all" I mumbled to myself and thought back on the argument we had about my suggestion to hang it there so we could hear the doorbell upstairs as well. I opened the door, and just like I thought: Ross was standing there with a bag of popcorn and an evil smirk. "What are you doing here?" I asked loudly to drown the music. "I thought we could watch that movie we talked about" he said and held up the bag of popcorn. "Like I said; I don't even know you!" I said and tried to seem rejecting, but it was hard to seem rejecting when a hot guy is standing in your door begging to come in. "I know! This is my way of getting to know you better. If we never hang out, how will we get to know each other" he said while raising his shoulders. "It's a bit too early for movie nights, don't you think?" I asked again. "No, I don't think so!" he replied with a very convincing smile, and before I could make up another excuse he was already inside. I closed the door and we both walked upstairs.

"Wow! Your parents play really loud music" he said as we entered my bedroom. "Yes, they do. Every freaking day!" I replied and rolled my eyes. "Well... let's play movie!" he said with a satisfied and flirty expression on his face, and made himself comfortable on my bed. I tuned on the TV and DVD player, turned off the lights, sat down next to him and pressed play.

________________________________________________

Like the story? Let me know!

Can’t wait for more? You can find the rest of the story here: https://www.wattpad.com/story/10717927-counting-stars-a-riker-lynch-and-ross-lynch-fanfic

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actpositive-blog · 6 years

Text

Cat Spraying

Cat Spraying urine, also called marking, is a form of scent communication, in which a cat leaves scent markers to make a point, so to speak. Leaving a personal “message” through her scent glands or urine is one of the three basic ways that a cat expresses herself. The other ways that a cat can get her ideas across are vocalizing by using different “meow sounds,” or using body language.

There are two kinds of scent markers:

1-Pheromones

Pheromones are the “happy” marker. Pheromones come from the scent glands on her paws, head and cheeks, and a cat uses them to mark in a positive way.

These glandular secretions are chemicals that provide unique information about each cat and are part of a complex communication system among cats.

In the wild, pheromones serve many purposes, such as identifying members of a colony, marking territory, making sexual overtures, seeking information about unknown cats in the vicinity and testing the tendency toward aggression of other cats.

2-urine

Urine is the other scent marker. Cat Spraying urine is a natural behavior for a cat. She does it to mark territory, usually when she feels threatened or stressed.

No matter how you feel about it, urine marking is not something that we should judge as being “bad.” Cat Spraying is a normal, natural form of communicating for a cat.

Do not make the mistake of projecting human emotions or motivations onto her; your cat isn’t doing this to be spiteful or get back at you. Spraying is a central part of the social structure cats use to communicate and is a normal feline reaction to specific situations. Unfortunately, it fits in really poorly with sharing a home with humans.

How Scent Marking Is Done

1.Marking with the Friendly Pheromones

A cat uses the glands in her cheeks to mark familiar territory that she considers her world. She rubs against objects in a familiar territory, leaving secretions of the scent glands on her face as a positive “message.” It is a sign that she feels confident and secure.

Depositing pheromones by rubbing her face along cabinets, against doorways, on chair and table legs—even on the people in her life—is a self-reassuring behavior that also has a calming effect on her. Cats have scent glands on their paws, too, which is one of the reasons they scratch.

Reaching up against a tree or other vertical landmark is an effective way to leave a calling card for other cats because it can be done at nose level, along with scratch marks to call attention to it. When you see dogs and cats studying marked areas with their noses, think of it as reading the Post-it Notes left by previous passers-by.

2.Marking with Urine

Cats mark with urine for the opposite reason they mark with facial pheromones. Urine is used because the cat is threatened or stressed, usually in a multi-cat environment. Both males and females spray, generally around issues of territory.

A high-ranking cat will spray in more than one location in the house to show how large her territory is and how important she is; a cat may spray when entering a new territory to announce her arrival and as a warning to others not to mess with her; an outdoor cat will often spray around the entire perimeter of her perceived domain.

3.How the Cat Sprays

Urine cat spraying is a highly ritualized behavior. The first thing a cat will do is back up to the targeted object. Her tail quivers and twitches. She will knead the ground with her front paws or tread with her back paws.

She may close her eyes and get an expression on her face that is almost like grinning. And then she will send a spray of urine out behind her and up against the chosen object.

She will purposely spray at about nose height for another cat—the point of putting it precisely at that level is so that any passing cat cannot miss her mark.

4.How Do Other Cats Get the Message?

Cats have a highly developed organ in the roof of their mouths called the vomeronasal organ, which allows them to detect social odors and sort them out.

Sometimes when you watch a cat sniffing an object you can tell that it has been marked by another cat because you will see a sort of smiling or grimacing expression as the cat sniffs.

This is referred to as the Flehmen reaction—the lips curl back as the cat sucks in air with the scent in it, running it past that special vomeronasal organ.

Cat Spraying Reasons

Cats always have a reason for cat spraying behavior, and once you know how to decipher the clues you may be able to alleviate the cause. Begin by collecting clues. Where is the cat spraying? When is it occurring?

1- If the spray is underneath a window or on the wall across from it, it’s possible that there is a strange cat appearing outside that window and causing your cat to make a territorial statement. Or if your cat is allowed outdoors and encounters a strange cat out there, upon her return your cat may feel compelled to spray her own territory for good measure.

2- If you’ve added a new cat to the household, that always shakes up the status quo; a resident cat is going to react, and it may be through spraying doorways or pathways.

3- Has a new baby or an older relative joined the household? Cats don’t like change of any kind, and a shift in the family makeup can inspire spraying.

4- Have you bought new furniture, or even rearranged the furniture you have? A cat may feel inspired to mark anything new in her kingdom—and if the furniture has an unfamiliar smell, that is a good reason to spray it, too.

5- Have you been away from home, perhaps traveling? When you return, watch out where you put your suitcase, your briefcase or even your overcoat: Anything that brings new and strange odors into the house is fair game because a cat may feel compelled to spray it as an intrusive, alien arrival.

6- Spraying can be triggered both by objects that the cat “needs” to cover with her odor or as a generalized stress reaction to household change. One thing seems to be true, unfortunately: Almost anything and everything can be an inspiration for a cat to spray.

Causes of cat spraying

Sighting of a strange cat outside

Hierarchy issues with another cat or a dog

Too many cats sharing a house

Loss of a cat in a multi-cat household

Loss of a human in the house—death, divorce, kid going to college

Separation anxiety if bonded too closely to you

New family member or pet arrives

Reaching sexual maturity in un neutered males

The cat’s natural inclination—personality • Scent of unknown cat on you or your clothing

Move to new house or renovation

Unknown human visitors • Change in significant human’s schedule

Arrival of new furniture or other large objects

Cat Spraying as a personal message to you

1- The Cat Marks on Your Bed

It is really upsetting to come home and find that your cat has urinated (or worse) on your bed. People often misunderstand the reason that a cat would choose their bed, so they assign evil motives to the cat’s choice when what is actually motivating a cat is pure instinct.

Your bed is a prime target because you lie on it for hours, building up a fragrant scent. Your cat does not anoint your bed to get back at you or to display anger.

There are cat behaviorists who have come up with a surprising new theory about why cats urinate on their people’s bed when the people are unavailable (either out of the house or fast asleep). Relieving herself on your bed actually feeds an emotional need for your cat.

Apparently, the chemicals in urine seem to comfort a cat while she waits for her person. A cat who does this may also be looking for attention or food, but whichever the case, the odor of the urine appears to have a soothing quality.

Fortunately, there is an easy fix for this particular problem: Shut your bedroom door when you are out or asleep. I just hope you figure out the logistics of this problem before the cat urinates all the way through to your mattress—because then you have a serious cleanup challenge on your hands.

2- Separation Anxiety in Lonely Cats

A solitary cat who gets too closely bonded to you can become anxious when you leave her alone. However, cats do not exhibit what we might think of as classic signs of separation anxiety:

They won’t destroy objects in the house or take out their frustration on doors or other parts of the house itself.

Instead, a lonely cat will stop eating, groom herself excessively or mark with urine.

A cat suffering from separation anxiety not only will miss the box but will especially mark the personal property (such as the bed) of the person she is so closely bonded to.

Ways to stop cat spraying

There are several things you can do right off the bat to lower the likelihood of spraying in your house. Your overall goal is to create a calmer, more secure environment for your cat so she doesn’t have stress and anxiety.

After you read this article, you will get to the real cure for the nightmare of spraying: a product called Comfort Zone Feliway. The philosophy behind using this product is based on the fact that cats do not urine-mark where they facially rub.

1. Neuter and Spay

The first step to stop cat spraying is neutering the cat. All Cats I hope this would already be the case, but if for some reason you have unneutered males or unspayed females, please make an appointment at the vet to correct that right away.

2. Have Same-Sex Cats Only

The 2nd step to stop cat spraying is having same sex cats only. There are studies that show that an all-male cat population will spray much less if there are no females around to inspire their territorial marking. Female cats will spray equally whichever the sex of their housemate cat.

3. Introduce Environmental Change Very Slowly

The 3rd step to stop cat spraying is Introducing Environmental Change Very Slowly. Any physical changes to a cat’s world can trigger anxiety-related marking. If you are going to get new furniture, consider getting one piece at a time.

You can even cover the furniture with a cloth that you have first rubbed all over your cat (to pick up her scent) or sprayed with Comfort Zone Feliway.

4. Introduce New Household Members

The 4th step to stop cat spraying is Introducing new household members. Slowly Before bringing home a new baby, first “break the news” to your cat’s olfactory system by bringing home items of clothing that the baby has already worn.

Put a piece of the infant’s unwashed clothing wherever your cat hangs out—on her climbing tree, on her bed—to get her accustomed to the baby’s smell ahead of time so his actual arrival isn’t such a shock.

5. Reduce Conflict in a Multi-Cat Household

The 5th step to stop cat spraying is reducing conflict in a multi-cat household. In a group that lives together, a lot of marking and spraying is directed at other cats. By reducing any potential issues over territory, food resources and litter boxes, you will lessen the need to spray and stake a claim.

Have one litter box for each of your cats, plus one “for the house”; multiple food and water bowls help as well, all as far apart as possible.

6. Close Curtains on Windows Where Strange Cats Walk Past

The 6th step to stop cat spraying is closing curtains on windows. This is a pretty logical fix: If your cat cannot see another cat strolling past, she won’t have the need to mark in response to it.

7. Change the Cat’s Association with the Area

The 7th step to stop cat spraying is Change the Cat’s Association with the Area. Cats will not eliminate or spray where they eat or where they have marked with their “happy pheromones” from their facial glands, and you can make this work in your favor.

This simple fix can be the most important thing you can do. Take your cat’s food bowl and put it right over an area where she has been spraying (after you do the whole cleanup routine on it, obviously).

8. Spray with Feliway

The 8th step to stop cat spraying is spraying with feliway. Read the section below to understand how spraying with this remarkable substance can help make your cat a happy camper and take her off the “naughty list” at the same time.

9. USING COMFORT ZONE FELIWAY

Comfort Zone Feliway is a spray that contains synthetic feline facial pheromones, meaning that some enterprising scientist has found a way to bottle the calming, happy-making chemical that cats produce when they contentedly rub their facial glands on surfaces in their environment.

That smell relaxes a cat and puts her in a Zen-like state of mind; best of all, she would not dream of spraying where she smells facial pheromones.

Each Cat Thinks Feliway Is Her Very Own Pheromones

The beauty of this product is that it can fool even that supersensitive kitty nose into thinking that she herself rubbed on those surfaces where she encounters Feliway.

If a cat believes that she already facially rubbed on a location, she gets an immediate positive association and assumes it’s a safe, relaxing place. By using this product, you can tap into your cat’s instinctual system and turn a location with negative association into a positive, nurturing space.

Use Feliway along with behavioral modification techniques such as moving your cat’s dinner dish to the area she soiled. You can also engage in play sessions with your cat in an area she soiled, which helps to transform its association for her.

How To Use Feliway

First Clean the Area with Plain Water. The chemicals in Feliway can be neutralized by detergent or a specialized cleaning product, so just wash down the area with water and dry it.

Spray One Squirt of Feliway Twice a Day Over the Area the Cat Previously Sprayed. Since natural cat pheromones fade after 24 hours, by spraying Feliway twice a day you keep a consistently high level of pheromones in the air.

Don’t Limit the Feliway to Sprayed Areas. Spray prominent objects in the areas where your cat spends the most time—and especially in those areas where you may have noticed she is not really relaxed.

Use Only a Quick Little Spray on Each Spot. Do not overspray.

Spray Twice a Day for 30 Days. The product is designed to flood the objects and environment with a positive association. After 30 days, evaluate your cat’s response and decide whether to continue spraying twice a day for another 30 days or cut down to once a day.

Your eventual goal should be to reduce to spraying the areas every other day and then finally 2 or 3 times a week. Don’t rush it; slow and steady wins the race, and reordering your cat’s perception and changing habits takes time.

Spray at a Cat’s Nose Height. Direct the spray 8 inches up from the ground and about 4 inches away from the object.

Spray Table Legs, Chair Legs, the Corners of Furniture, and Doorways. Any nose-height vertical object should be given the Feliway treatment.

Create a Network of Calming Pheromones. Your goal is to spin a web of positive association over the cat so that if she feels anxious or agitated when she first enters a room and has the desire to spray, she will have changed her mind by the time she walks by all the vertical areas that smell of Feliway.

Comfort Zone Feliway also comes as a plug-in diffuser. The plug-in is especially useful if the spray-marked area is all in one room, but it can work wonders in any area where a cat has been feeling skittish or insecure.

10. Medications For Cat Spraying

If you have tried every suggestion in this section and your cat is still spraying and marking, there is something else you can try: antidepressant medication. Urine marking is one of the conditions in cats where doctors often feel that the best thing to do is try pharmacological treatment.

Studies show a 90 to 100 percent improvement in anxiety-driven urine marking in cats who took such medication. But of course the real solution is to address that underlying loneliness and boredom by giving the cat daily interactive play sessions. Relieve the cat’s situation by finding a friend or a pet sitter who will come in during the day when you are at work.

Since one of the underlying causes for spraying is thought to be stress, veterinarians have also tried antianxiety drugs with varying degrees of success. When first taken, drugs such as diazepam and buspirone significantly reduce spraying in up to 75 percent of cats. However, when the cats are taken off the drugs, they go right back to cat spraying behavior.

More recent studies have shown that fluoxetine and clomipramine are really effective, and cats are less likely to return to spraying when they are taken off these medications. Fluoxetine is a human antidepressant in the SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) family; clomipramine is a tricyclic antidepressant.

Neither drug is licensed for use on cats in the United States, although clomipramine is in Australia. This means that if your vet would like to try antidepressants on your cat, the prescription will be “off-label”—he’ll tell you that the drug has been shown to be effective but hasn’t been licensed for this particular use, and you will sign a consent form.

By the way, this is quite common in veterinary medicine because it is so costly to get a drug license for different uses that most drug companies do not apply for the animal use license.

11. Finding the cat spraying urine and cleaning it up

Buy a Black Light

A black light, which emits ultraviolet light, is a good tool for any cat owner to have because it allows you to look all over your house for signs that a cat has been marking or eliminating in the wrong places.

And you now know how to tell the difference between litter box avoidance, which is urinating on the floor, and spraying, which is done vertically against an upright surface.

Nature’s Miracle, the company that makes a urine stain remover, also makes a good black light (available at most pet stores) which will light up any urine stains in your house if you turn the other lights off and go on a hunt.

Look Absolutely Everywhere for Sprayed Areas

To use the black light you have to remove all other light sources and then turn on the black light. Some areas where a cat has urinated are visible and smellable; others are well hidden and may be old and dried.

But you have to clean and neutralize every single place any cat has ever urinated in your house to have any chance of putting an end to it.

Don’t Freak Out if the Black Light Shows Spots Everywhere

Black lights illuminate urine, but they also show the presence of any bodily fluids—so anywhere a cat had a bowel movement or threw up or even coughed up a hairball will shine under the black light.

You’re better off cleaning all of it, regardless of what it was, but don’t just assume that everything you see is urine. The chart below gives you some ideas of locations that need to be investigated.

I know, this probably isn’t what you signed on for when you fell in love with that white kitty with the green eyes . . . but nonetheless, here we are.

Places to Check for Urine Stains

• Closets • Under beds • Furniture (front, back and sides) and the wall behind it • Shoes and clothes (at bottom of closets) • Doormats • Baseboards and walls • Doorways • Behind doors • Litter box areas (around the box, walls, entry to room)

12. Cleanup the urine cat spraying

1. Clean as You Find It or Mark It for Later

As you go around your house with the black light, if you don’t find too many stains, you may want to treat them right then and there.

However, if there are many stains, or if you’d rather check them all and then go back and attack them later, you can use the cleaning regimen below.

Start by marking any stain that the black light illuminates by using masking tape on the outline of the stain. Use the tape like one of those television crime-scene body outlines, marking the exact boundaries of the stain as the black light shows it to you.

Masking tape will stick anywhere and doesn’t leave a mark when you take it off.

2. Don’t Use Normal Household Cleaners

Regular household cleaners or carpet cleaners will cover up the smell of the urine, but they won’t mask the aroma enough for the sensitive nose of a cat.

Also, some cleaners have ammonia in them, which is similar to the odor of urine and so should always be avoided.

3. Urine-Neutralizing Products and How to Use Them

Buy a gallon container of Nature’s Miracle, Simple Solution, X-O or any cleaning product that is enzymatic and will neutralize the odor, not just clean or mask it.

You’re going to need a large amount of this stuff to give all the stains a good going-over, so it’s more economical to get the jumbo size and then transfer it into a manageable spray bottle.

If urine has soaked through to the carpet padding or the floor below, keep in mind that it all needs to be treated. You have to remove all traces of urine and its odor or the cat will want to go back to that location for a repeat performance.

Follow instructions on the bottle, but generally these products require that you blot up as much of the urine as possible with paper towels and then spray liberally with the enzymatic cleaner. Leave the product on for about 5 minutes, then blot up the excess cleaner with paper towels or rags.

Do not rub or you’ll be working the urine deeper into the carpet fibers. Leave layers of paper toweling over the stain with a weight on top to soak up the remaining fluid, or set up a small fan to blow it dry.

4. Figure Out Which Cat Is Spraying

To solve cat spraying in a multi-cat home, you need to figure out which cat is initiating the spraying. Unless you actually see the cat back up and spray something, there is a way you can “light up” an individual cat’s urine to identify it as hers.

First investigate the house with the black light so you can see what normal urine looks like. Then ask your veterinarian for some fluorescein capsules. These are filled with a nontoxic dye used for eye exams. Give this capsule to the cat you most suspect of being the sprayer and the dye will show up later in her urine.

Turn on the black light and the fluorescein-stained urine will jump out at you. If you don’t find any traces of lit-up urine, that means your suspect was not the sprayer. Now give a capsule to the next most likely culprit and so on, until you identify the perpetrator.