#I just love the idea of playing with alastor’s psyche

[damnedrainbows]

Like this for a starter of Alastor bugging your muse, and just not leaving your muse the fuck alone

In the wake of learning about who he’s truly contracted to and suffering at Roo’s hands, he slowly starts to unravel. He’s endangered himself and the hotel and is a wingless housefly flopping around in a trap he can’t get out of. Consistently, he represses his bleak fate and the fates of all he loves under a smile, and just overly friendly behavior, and he hangs around friends and enemies alike!

This estranged deer in this time cloys the desperate need for help by simply wanting to spend more time with his friends, abandoning any need for personal space and finding simply any excuse he can to just not be alone. If he’s alone, there’s no telling when he’ll be summoned back. If he’s alone, he’ll have nothing to distract him from thinking about what he’s done. How he’s…a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, and those he cares for may not survive the explosion.

[weaselbeaselpants]

Rewritten Alastor notes (TW: NSFL, Cannibalism, Vore, animal abuse)

This is unexpected I know, but I’m suffering from a major headache and I need something to do.

Alastor the Radio Demon in my non-existent Hazbin repaint. Things he has in common with his canon self:

Human soul of a man who died in the 1930s. Was a cannibal in life.

Tried (and succeeded) to corrupt a bunch of lesser demons. 

Respected by the big-bads of Hell, like Valentino and Vox. Feared among them as well because he creeps even them out.

Deer + wendigo motif still very much still at play.

Still asexual, though I wouldn’t recommend putting him on any pride flags.

Gets along with Charlie and loves antagonizing Vaggie.

Treats Nifty and Husk as goons and/or pets.

His weird hair tufts emote along with him like ears. I don’t know if they are ears though. I think Viv has the right idea not confirming what the frack is up with his anatomy.

Can’t ever stop smiling. Ever. That aspect of Al’s design is something real special that I think Viv has the right idea implementing. A character who can not stop smiling makes for a lot of terrifying and hilarious reactions. Just look at Sans near eternal smile. 

Inexplicably likes pineapple pizza. Funny out-of-character gag.

AGAIN: CONTENT WARNING ESPECIALLY FOR ANYONE WITH TRIGGERS TO THE STUFF ABOVE. KEEP READING AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Changes made to his character:

I do not mind Hazbin being crass and vile and offensively-over the top as long as it has a good grasp on what the joke is (like Helluva Boss :>). My Hazbin thesis is that all of the characters are “demons” in as much as they’ve done bad things or were bad people, but are not maniacal or sadistic + there’s hope for some of them. THEN there’s Alastor who absolutely lives up to the demon-reputation and did genuinely evil things in life. Alastor’s the kind of person who absolutely should be purged but has escaped because those who are supposed to be for justice aren’t threatened by him.

He isn’t involved in voodoo or has any affluent Creole background. With all do respect that aspect feels just a little too lifted from Dr. Facilier. My Alastor’s background is American “mutt” with an Algonquian-native grandmother.

His sin in life - and in Hell itself - is Gluttony. Taking a page from the OG Wendigo mythos, which describes them more as pulsating, gorging Elderitch abominations, Al’s MO in the show is to consume everyone and everything there is. 

Alastor’s demonic powers are presented as a wave of high frequency radio static that messes with a demon’s psyche so much it physically hurts them. Al then scoops up his victim’s souls to power his microphone and everything that demon had in it’s possession beforehand crumbles or becomes his.

Angel is afraid of him. Unlike in the canon cartoon, Angel is the one who recognizes Alastor and knows he’s dangerous, not Vaggie. Turns out, Angel had a run in with the Radio Demon sometime during the mid twentieth century (so when they were both pretty young in demon years). Angel tried to steal Al’s microphone but Al flung a nasty radio-frequency in Angel’s face, taking out one of his eyes. Angel was present during Al’s first attempt to take over Hell, so he immediately knows Al’s bad news and Alastor never misses the opportunity to mess with Angel in season 1.

Alastor is a shape-shifter. In what is probably the most grizzly detail about my take, he technically self-mutilates in order to re-imagine himself ala the Hellraiser Cenobites - which he does quite a bit to hide from Charlie’s parents.

Technically, Al is naked. What looks like a suit is actually his flesh. Look closely at you’ll see that he’s all stitched together like a crude taxidermy piece. Beneath his “skin” are his bones; which all look like mechanical radio parts and move independently of another. Sometimes Al tears them out if he thinks his “wiring needs to be reworked”, which is Al for ‘feeling an emotion’ and he doesn’t like that.

The motif my Alastor is supposed to invoke is everything about him was “stolen” and crudely pieced back together: he collects and traps other demons inside his microphone; he eats by unhinging his mouth and swallows in one gulp. Alastor’s anatomy invokes a lot of vore imagery as well as Ero Guro. Despite being ace, there is a sexual (but not arousing) edge to his character, which leads to a lot or horror and humor.

Alastor does not like that he was human. He’s even in denial of it and insists “I was always a demon. I simply had a nightmare that I was a man. Now I’m awake and the nightmare is long gone”.

Alastor’s human name was Edward; he was a sad, pathetic little man whom everyone walked all over. Edward wanted to be a radio host but was denied that position cause he ‘couldn’t smile’. Edward was deeply disturbed and fixated on ingesting human meat (a condition called ‘wendigo psychosis’). Despite committing murder and then eating all his victim’s bodies, he can’t recall most of the process and was frightened by his behavior, knew what he was doing was wrong. BUT he never went about treating his addiction with meat; he’d have “cold periods” where he didn’t kill and thought he was ‘fixed’ only for his psychosis to resurface.

Alastor’s demon self aims to be all the things that he wasn’t in life: happy, fulfilled, complete, confident, cheery, and satisfied. Al relishes in his self-made creepy image and no doubt took his demon name from a famous Alastair from his youth. 

Al’s character arc throughout the ‘show’ (there is no show, why am I treating this like genuine pitch bible blah) goes as follows:

For the first season leading up the the finale and beginning of season 2, Al pretends to be Charlie’s friend until he backstabs her and takes over her hotel to harvest the ‘redeemed’ souls so he can restart his broadcasting-takeover that was just barely stopped years before. Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel intercept him however and destroy his microphone - which holds all the souls - causing him to loose his power. Charlie personality terminates his physical form leaving only his ‘heart’, which Lucifer makes Charlie eat so that Alastor will forever be under her control. The downside to this is Al’s soul+heart+person exists within Charlie now, and he of course speaks to her within her mind, trying to discourage, belittle, threaten or taunt her plans and feelings throughout the second season. Season 3′s opening would be about the main cast trying to get Vaggie out of Heaven once they learn it’s as corrupted as Hell. Charlie needs Al’s expertise, so she vomits him up. Al agrees to help her but is obviously not happy and vows to get his freedom back. In the second half of season 3, the main characters have to lay low while the angels partake in spiritual warfare against Lucifer. So Charlie and co. escape to the human world disguised as humans. Though an agreement, Alastor comes along and aquires a foreclosed motel for the demon’s to live (he intends to trap mortal souls while he’s there, though Charlie intercepts this too). 

Angel and co. end up discovering Al’s human identity (something he tried to cover up any evidence of having in Hell) and invite his now elderly human daughter to the motel. It works too well however, and the fright of seeing his daughter again triggers an all out anxiety attack in Alastor causing him to merge with the motel. Charlie has to traverse his insides to try and get to his crumbling psyche which would be very Akira-inspired.

Meanwhile, inside Alastor’s mind we see his demon form finally baring a frown and freaking out as the pathological spirits of his victims sing to him in a radio booth about the life he’d chosen and the lives he took away from them. (Yes, this is absolutely taken from Bojack Horseman)

Once Charlie cuts to his core+Al faces the fact that there never was another demon responsible for his actions, it was always just him, Al relinquishes his hold on that motel and his physical form become that of a baby deer, whom Charlie nicknames ‘Deerlastor’. Deerlastor doesn’t appear to have any of Al’s powers, memories, or personality but Angel and the other demon’s Al’s abused insist on killing it, sure that this is just another one of Al’s weird forms. Because of Alastor’s absence, it takes a lot longer and harder for the main cast to get back to hell and help Charlie’s dad’s stop the (previously human) angels who want to wipe purge ALL of hell.

To take out the main ‘enlightened’ angel that’s in the middle of trying to purge ALL of Hell, the demon’s need a power of their own. Deerlastor agrees to sacrifice its body and because of that, Alastor pops out from the deer’s body and head on collides w. the big bad angel-villain, eliminating both their souls. Alastor gets no proper redemption arc kids, he just gets to be the one to take out the main villain.

Edward/Alastor’s daughter’s name was Lavinia and she was the closest thing to genuine ‘love’ he had in his life and the only person who obviously looked up rather than ignore or abuse Edward. When Ed was arrested and confessed to his crimes, his daughter wasn’t allowed to see him and the knowledge that her father was a cannibalistic serial killer haunted Lavinia all her life.

His crimes were not sexual. This is NOT AN EXCUSE for what he did though because - 

- two of his victims were children. Yep. 

Unlike the rest of the filth-spewing demons, Al doesn’t appreciate racism or sexism. He thinks himself a feminist for his day...despite also having killed women and children. Keep in mind he’s also from the 30s, so he’s as “progressive” as people could be for back then, AND he believes that his partial native ancestry means it’s okay to call himself a ‘wendigo’.

In reference to an oooooooooooold ref sheet Viv made for Alastor back in the day, Deerlastor gets shot in the head and dismembered a lot but always gets up like nothing’s wrong.

Alastor does not like electroswing. He likes jazz, doowop, twist, show jingles, and lots of American Folk ballads. You know, the stuff they’d jam the radio’s with back in the 30s.

Big influences on my Alastor are They Shoot Horses Don’t They?, American Murder Song, My Friend Dahmer (a graphic novel), Llamas with Hats and Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk. 

(Ima thinking of renaming my Hazbin gang to better distinguish them between the canon. Alastor’s the only one who won’t be renamed though, just probably spelled a different way. (Alystar, Alaster, Alastar))

[jewish-blackula]

Emo Songs

Chapter 1: I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance

Pairing: romantic moxiety

TW: mentions of suicide, hospitals, mental illness, crying, mentions of sex, mentions of an abusive relationship, brief adult language, please tell me if i missed anything

WC: 1265

Virgil was miserable. Driving up to the hospital always made him nervous. Patton was in there again. The first time it happened, Virgil’s mental wellbeing took a huge toll, as did Patton’s he’d imagine. After the inpatient treatment facility, Virgil and his family and, for a year, everything was fine. Then the first episode happened. His boyfriend just layed in his bed, breathing, but barely responsive. It took all of Virgil to not call someone, but he didn’t. The next morning, Patton had no idea what happened. Once he was briefed, he apologized for the next entire week. Then there was the next one. It was the complete opposite, yelling, screaming, crying, Virgil was just glad his moms weren’t home. Patton passed out next to the bed after Virgil held him for a while. He never remembered that one either. Or the one after that and after that. Patton was getting unstable again and Virgil could feel it. He was crying almost every period. From before, the teachers knew to excuse them and Virgil was always there to calm him down. But he had to go away on the school trip for band and while the first two days were fine, he got calls from Patton every morning and night, the morning they went back, he got a call from his mom instead. Patton had tried again.

Virgil signed into the hospital and the front desk person told him where to go, but he was already pretty familiar. The elevator ride up was quieter than he would’ve liked it, this placed never failed to leave him creeped out. Usually quiet like this would calm his nerves, but here it always felt eerie and unsettling. He got out at level 13, the psych ward. He brought food from Patton’s favorite takeout place, they last time he was here, they told him home food would help get Patton ready to go home. He was doing much better than he was two weeks ago and they were planning on discharging him soon, but Virgil was worried he was going to end up readmitted again soon.

There was happy singing coming from inside and Virgil couldn’t wait any longer to open the door. “Pat!” He was sitting with his leg in a sling on the bed, reading the book Virgil’s little brother, Logan brought yesterday.

Patton held his arms wide open and completely engulfed Virgil in his embrace. He didn’t smell like lavender and rain anymore, just the hospital bed, but he had returned to a healthier weight and had retained his flushed cheeks and chapped lips. He could hear Patton murmuring the same apologies and Virgil’s name repeatedly. All Virgil could do was pet his messy mane of marmalade locks and kiss his roseate cheeks, thinking that if it wasn’t for all these ridiculous mental illnesses, they could be doing this at home right now, without apologies, without the sling and the hospital bed. He missed those days. He was hopeful they’d be able to return to them soon.

Patton tugged on Virgil’s jacket to signal that he was ready to let go, but Virgil squeezed a little tighter before dropping his arms and picking up Patton hand. He smiled at his boyfriend, tucking away a stray piece of hair. “How was your day?”

“Tiring. I just really want to be at home at this point and I think they’ve realized,” Pat ran his thumb over Virgil’s before leading their hands towards his mouth, giving Virgil’s hand soft tiny kisses. “I want to show you my journal when I get home.”

Virgil’s eyes bugged out. “Really? I don’t want to breach your privacy, Pat. You don’t have to show me it if you don’t want to.”

“I do want to,” Patton unlocked their fingers, but started playing with Virgil’s randomly. “Do you know the definition of the word infinitesimal?”

“The word what?”

“Infinitesimal.”

“Root origin?”

Patton let out a breathy laugh. “Virgil, do you know it?”

“Nada.” Patton held his onto his hand again and smiled at him, which Virgil couldn’t help think really shouldn’t have made him blush this late into their relationship.

“It means extremely small. Well, it means something specific in math, but it generally means extremely small.” Patton’s gaze shifted to their interlocked hands. “But telling you the definition was only a distraction for a cheesy pick-up line!”

Virgil groaned and overly rolled his eyes, making both of them giggle. Patton resituated himself like it was going to make this pun easier on either of them. “Infinitesimal means really small, but my love for you is infinite, no test at all.”

Virgil proceeded to curl into himself and laugh. “Oh, it was rhyming! The rhymes, they got me!”

They both giggled and Patton stared at Virgil for a second too long, making him uneasy. “Hey, what’s up?”

Patton’s giggly nature went on break. “How can you always read me like a book? Everytime I try and do it to you it’s like… it’s like all the pages are torn and frayed.”

“Practice, I’ve been reading you much longer, you started because I was doing it, so I got a head start,” That got a small chuckle out of both of them. “What’s going on?”

“I just really want to go home, but I just don't want anything else that goes along with it,” He sighed and swished his hair out of his face. “Like school, I can't really handle school anymore. Especially after… uh… the pictures.”

Virgil squeezed Patton’s hand. Two years ago, Patton was in an abusive relationship with a senior named Alastor Doyle. When Patton was convinced enough that he should break up with him, Alastor printed overtly sexual photos of Patton and posted them random places around the school. Virgil, Logan and his girlfriend, Lilith, tried to get them down as fast as possible while Patton took a break in the bathroom, but the damage had been done. Most of the people at their school had been considerate enough to not take a picture of the photo, but everyone knew what had happened and a few of his old friends got too uncomfortable around him and left. Now it was the two of them. Virge was sure Patton was suffering from this, he loved being around people, but he couldn't handle the criticism that came along with all of it nowadays. “I get it, honey, you don't have to explain.”

They sat in silence while Pat thought of something else to talk about. “Have you called Thomas yet? Is he gonna come and visit? I haven't seen him since Christmas.”

“Yeah,” Virgil knew how much Pat’s older brother cared about him. “He should be here tonight and I’ll make sure he sees you tomorrow.”

“Good. What's lunch today?” His boyfriend's response made Virge chuckle. Always had is mind on food.

“Your favorite!” He dramatically took their food out of the paper bag. “Valerie's!”

Patton gasped and clapped. “Aw, did you tell her Thomas is coming? They were best friends for so long!”

“Yeah, she helped spot him for tickets,” Virgil’s phone rang loudly, scaring the shit out of both of them. “Dammit, it’s momma, she probably needs me to pick up Logan. I’ll come back after, start eating, okay?”

“Okay.” Patton squeezed his hand and kissed it gently. “Hey, I love you.”

“I love you more than you’ll ever know.” Virgil kissed his head before meeting his lips with Patton’s. The bronze-haired boy squeezed his boyfriend’s hand a little harder before watching him leave.

“I wish I was okay for you.”

@fandersfic-moxiety