#moxiety fic

[five-abs-and-one-peck]

more transfem sides!

[stardustsides]

my writing masterlist

since i’ve finally hit a point where i’ve posted enough of my writing that i can make one of these!! pretty sparse rn, more to follow :)

oneshots:

a midwinter’s tale : roman can’t say he’s ever had a stranger camp out in his yard before. he also can’t say that he’s ever met someone who carries their broken heart in a paper bag, but hey, first time for everything, right? (romantic royality)

what living is for : patton’s health is failing, and he and roman pass a quiet afternoon on the beach. (little women au, with jo!roman and beth!patton; brotherly royality)

beauty in the way of things : logan and patton pass a lazy day together after the end of the world. (romantic logicality)

you’re such a heavenly view : logan loves the night sky, and roman loves to see his fiancé happy. A stargazing date ensues. (romantic logince)

we’ll all be here forever : during the group’s high school grad party, patton and logan have a quiet revelation while looking through their yearbooks. (romatic logicality)

drabbles:

in these small hours : logan comes home from work, and patton is there to greet him. (romantic logicality)

the boy and the ghost : snippet of a longer wip; how medium!virgil first met ghost!patton (fatherly moxiety)

multichapter fics:

love is a beach : patton and janus broke up months ago. the problem? they still haven’t told their friends, and their annual beach trip is looming. not wanting to break the news and ruin the vacation, they come to an…unconventional agreement. (romantic moceit, background prinxiety)

[snowdice]

Face the Music (Sometimes Labels Shift Series)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan/Patton, (background) Patton & Virgil, Logan & Virgil

Characters: 

Main: Patton, Logan

Mentioned: Virgil

Summary: Patton and Logan have a small chat about healing between Wind Symphony and Wind Symphony: The Sequel.

This is a dealing with events set after my story Sometimes Labels Fail.

Notes: Superhero AU (not that it matters), past emotional abuse, references to a nontypical trigger, though said trigger has been dealt with in therapy and is mostly under control though not gone

“You don’t have to go,” Logan said when Patton was halfway through pulling off his shirt. Patton finished pulling off the shirt to squint at him. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, so Logan’s form was blurry, but he was sitting on their bed looking at him.

“I know I don’t have to go,” said Patton. He turned to grab the sleeping shirt he’d set out and pulled it over his head.

“Virgil wouldn’t care,” Logan said. “I would be the more likely candidate to take him shopping for such a thing considering the research I’ve done into the topic anyway. I doubt he has any expectations that you will come.”

Patton frowned as he slipped his glasses back onto his face, turning Logan from a blurry mess of blue into a man wearing a blue t-shirt. “Maybe he wouldn’t,” Patton said, “but you don’t know that.”

“Patton,” Logan said, his brow creased in the way that it did only when he was attempting to do a very difficult math equation or was trying to process emotions on the fly. “You once almost had a panic attack because a musician attempted to hand you a violin.”

“That was years ago,” Patton bristled, “and I’d been having a bad day. The violin was not the problem.”

“Perhaps not,” Logan agreed, “but it was a problem.”

“A music shop is not a house of horrors for me,” Patton said. It was the truth even if it felt just a bit like a lie. What he remembered from the music shop of his childhood, the one he’d have to go to for new music books every time he completed his old ones, was an old man who would freeze Patton in place with his gaze (even when he wasn’t actually doing so with his powers), ancient instruments on the walls that Patton’s young mind had imagined being used in blood rituals, and an overwhelming sense of foreboding. He thought normal music shops probably were not like that.

Logan was still frowning, so Patton crossed to the bed and reached for his face. He kissed him on the nose.

“I want to be there,” he told Logan. “Playing the clarinet is something that Virgil loves, and I want to support him in every way I can. I will not be like my mother and that both means not making him play an instrument if he doesn’t want to and encouraging him to do so if he does want to.”

It was easier said than done. If Patton had ever gotten joy from playing a violin, he did not remember it. Thoughts of playing a musical instrument filled him with an uncomfortable squirming sensation even after all of these years. It was a knee-jerk reaction to not want Virgil to experience the same thing, but he was not his knee-jerk reactions. He’d been very careful to keep his instinctual thoughts to himself (and occasionally to Logan when it felt unhealthy to keep them bottled up).

Virgil liked playing music. It made him happy. Sometimes Patton had to remind himself of that in order to react appropriately, but that was okay. It was a little more effort in an area most people wouldn’t even have to think about, but it was worth it.

“He does want to,” Patton continued, “so even if that desire isn’t something I will ever be able to relate to, I still need to show up.”

The face between Patton’s hands still seemed unsure. “This is just a small thing,” Logan said. “We already know you’ll be going to all of his performances. You can show up for him without going on this specific outing.”

“Life is made up of small things,” Patton said, shaking his head, “and it’s also short. I am a 56-year-old man. I refuse to live my life in fear of a string instrument. Anymore.”

“Still,” Logan said, reaching up to cup Patton’s hand still on his cheek.

Patton just rolled his eyes fondly. “I appreciate the concern,” he said, “but I’m going.”

Logan opened his mouth to speak.

“No more talking,” Patton said, using his hands to gently push Logan back onto the bed. He leaned most of his weight on him, though his toes still touched the floor. “Just cuddles.”

Logan hesitated, but then gave in. “Very well,” he agreed and then paused a moment. “Could we perhaps cuddle in a more reasonable position?”

“No,” said Patton, tucking his head into Logan’s chest with a smile. Logan sighed under him and reached up to pat his hair.

Patton knew he’d be able to face any music store as long as Logan was with him.

“Face the music,” Patton whispered with a giggle. Logan groaned.

Want to read more? Click below!

Labeled Master Post.

My Masterpost.

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Protector

Chapter One

Author's Note: *peeks my head out* hi

You guys over here on tumblr can't see the chapter count, but this is the last chapter! This story has been… shit, at least three years in the making? From the first brainstorm to today it has gone through a fuck ton of changes and updates and fights between me and my own characters when they wouldn't do what I wanted them to. But I really honestly love where it ended up and how things worked out. I hope you did too, and thank you so much for reading! I've really loved seeing everyone's comments and theories as the story goes on, and sometimes I honestly can't believe how many people read it, it's easily my most popular story for this fandom xD

But anyways, thank you so much for reading it! This story means a lot to me, and I hope you enjoy the ending and that you enjoyed the whole thing overall!

Chapter Forty-Three:

Most days, Virgil woke up alone now.  Logan said it was a good sign that he no longer worried enough about Remus’ safety to have to sleep in the same bed with him every night.  If Virgil had a bad night, he’d end up there.  If it was a really bad night, sometimes Roman would already be there.  But those were becoming few and far between, and more likely, Virgil would wake up, get dressed, and head downstairs to find Remus making some kind of monstrosity in the kitchen with Patton.

That was precisely what happened this morning, as Virgil walked downstairs and found Patton had made a horrible mistake in apparently thinking Remus was ready to learn how to make pancakes.

Spilled batter was covering everything in the kitchen, including Patton and Remus themselves.  Currently, Remus was pouring batter onto the griddle, and Virgil cringed and stepped back lest Remus somehow find a way to launch it several feet.

But some of the practice must have paid off, because Remus pulled the bowl up in time to make a pancake that actually looked more or less okay.

“Alright!” Remus called happily, setting the bowl down on the counter and spilling more as he did so.  “Now when do we add the bacon?”

“Bacon is normally a side that comes with the pancakes,” Patton said.  “But we might be able to add some to yours after we flip it.”

“Hell yeah!”

“Language!”

“Good morning,” Virgil called, startling Patton into spinning around.  Remus simply glanced over his shoulder and called “Hi Virgil!”

“Oh, good morning kiddo,” Patton said with a smile.  “We’re attempting to make pancakes.  I’ll admit you were a much less messy student.”

“Thank you!” Remus called, beaming at Patton.

“It may be a while before breakfast, but I think Logan was actually looking for you,” Patton said.  “He went back up to his room, but he should be down any—”

“Ah, Virgil, you are just the side I was looking for.”

“Minute,” Patton finished with a smile and nod behind Virgil.

Virgil turned around as Patton turned to try and explain flipping pancakes to Remus.

“What’s up teach?” he asked, following Logan into the living room.

“I wanted to invite you to the editing session today,” Logan said, setting his notes and his copy of the script for the upcoming video down on the coffee table.

“For the video?” Virgil asked in confusion.  “I don’t normally have much of a part in that process.”

“I am aware.  However, Remus mentioned the other day that you used to do quite a bit of editing for his ideas, back when there wasn’t anyone else around to do so,” Logan said.  “And as someone more familiar with his contributions as I am more familiar with Roman’s, I thought it was only fair to see if you wanted to join.  I think it is an especially good idea considering this latest video will be heavily focused on you and Remus.”

Virgil smiled a little.  “Well, that’s… not a terrible idea, I guess.”

The corners of Logan’s lips turned up slightly, and he nodded.  “Excellent, I look forward to seeing you there.”

“Oh, are you talking about the editing session later?” Remus called from the kitchen, turning and flinging a pancake up as he did so which promptly landed on Patton’s head.  “Virgey, are you going to come?”

“I’ll be there, Re, pay attention!” Virgil called, though Patton was laughing and didn’t seem at all upset.

“Awesome!” Remus called, turning to pour more batter now that the pancake was ruined.

Virgil picked up on Roman’s footsteps just before they started down the stairs, and had just enough time to realize that he was going to be disappointed before he called, “I smell pancakes!”

“Remus is making them,” Virgil called as his head came into view.  “I’d stick with frozen waffles unless you want to wait a while.”

“…That’s probably best,” Roman sighed.

“Hey, I didn’t even add anything poisonous this time!” Remus called from the kitchen.

Virgil leaned back on the couch with a chuckle as Roman headed into the kitchen to make waffles.  Remus made sure to flip a pancake onto his head anyway.

The volume in the kitchen started to raise as Roman and Remus started exchanging banter, and Virgil used the cover to turn and face Logan.  “Do you know how Janus is doing?”

“A little better, I think,” Logan said with a smile.  “He did some acting with Roman yesterday, and didn’t seem to even have a motive beyond having fun with him.  At least, that’s what Roman said he thought was going on.”

“That’s good,” Virgil said.  He shifted so he could push himself up to sit on the top of the couch.

“He’s also started forcing people to take breaks again,” Logan said.  “And if he’s confident enough to do that, I think that’s a good sign.”

“People?” Virgil asked, raising an eyebrow at Logan.

“I did not do anything work-related after dinner yesterday, like we all agreed on,” Logan said, adjusting his glasses.  “I was researching purely for the sake of enjoyment.”

“Yeah?  What’d you find out?”

Logan’s eyes lit up, and he launched into a rant about astronomy that Virgil could mostly keep up with.

They were both there until Remus and Patton managed to finish one pancake for each of them, and Patton headed upstairs to take a shower with a remark that he’d grab Janus on the way back down.  Remus, on the other hand, was attempting to lick the batter off to clean himself, which would be more efficient according to him.

Patton’s showers didn’t take long, meaning about fifteen minutes later he and Janus started down the steps and over towards the kitchen.  Janus sat next to Logan on the opposite side of the table from where Virgil and Remus had picked, but the dark circles under his eyes were less heavy today, which was progress.

“So!” Roman called happily, and everyone turned their gazes to him.  “The video is making good progress, and Logan said he was going to ask Virgil to start helping with the editing…?” he gave Virgil a hopeful look.

Virgil gave a thumbs up around a mouthful of pancake.

“Excellent!  In that case, I believe we’ll be ready to start filming by the end of the week!”

“That’s wonderful, kiddo!” Patton said happily.

“Indeed, I believe we are all eager to get started,” Logan said.  “Not because it is unreasonable that this video is taking longer, but because I think we are all happy to be working on something again.  And I very much look forward to having the figurative record set straight with Virgil and Remus.”

“Good luck with that!” Patton, Remus, and Roman all called at the same time.

Logan looked up at the ceiling, seeming to be contemplating his life choices.

Virgil caught Logan’s gaze and gave a roll of his eyes that Logan returned a grateful smile to.  He was pretty sure they were both glad there was at least one other side to be annoyed at antics with, especially since Janus was obviously hiding a smile behind his hand at the other end of the table.

“When does the editing session start?” Janus asked a second later.  “Do we have anything else to do today?”

“The plan was to begin after lunch, and I don’t believe there’s anything else on the schedule, why?” Logan asked.

“Because I am in dire need of a movie night with Thomas,” Janus said.  “And I was hoping we could fit one in.”

“We’re all eating breakfast,” Logan pointed out.  “It would hardly be considered—”

“Movie night!” Roman called with a happy clap of his hands.  “I’m down as long as I get to use your hat for voting!”

Janus hissed and put his hands protectively over his hat.

“I think that’s a great idea kiddo,” Patton said with a smile.  “I’ll ask Thomas after I finish eating.”

“I’m done,” Virgil called, standing up with his empty plate.  “I’ll do it in just a sec.”

He headed over to the sink to wash the dish as the conversation continued behind him.  He washed the dish and set it over on the drying rack, and sank out to Thomas afterwards with a wave at the others and a call that he’d see them soon.

Thomas was already sitting in front of the TV flipping through Netflix, so clearly some of the idea had bled over already.

He did pause and give Virgil a smile once he noticed him, though.

“Hi Virgil!  It’s not game night already, is it?”

“Nope.  Janus suggested an impromptu movie night before the editing session later.  I came to ask if you were alright with it.”

“We’re going to try and settle on movie all seven of us agree on?” Thomas asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course not, that’s why I got here early,” with a mischievous smile.  “I say we watch The Nightmare Before Christmas.”

“That doesn’t sound half bad,” Thomas said.

“Well, look at that, the vote is unanimous,” Virgil said, moving to his spot on top of the couch.  “Let’s get it set up so it can be ready when everyone else gets here.”

Thomas huffed a laugh and shook his head.  “You know sometimes I remember why you were originally a villain.”

“Oh you’re right, it doesn’t get any more devious than rigging movie votes,” Virgil said.  “Clearly I’m the worst side you’ve got.”

Thomas winced, and Virgil paused.

“Too soon?”

“Maybe a bit,” Thomas said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Sorry.  Joke rescinded.”

“It’s okay,” Thomas said with a small smile.  “So do we want popcorn for this movie night?”

“At 9 in the morning?”

“We’re adults, who’s going to stop us?”

“The debilitating social anxiety and shame,” Virgil said.

Thomas gave him a deadpan look, and Virgil laughed.

“No but you make an excellent point,” he said.  “Let’s make the rest of your popcorn all right now.”

“All of it?”

“There are seven of us.”

Thomas laughed, and they both headed to the kitchen to do just that.

Virgil expected it to be a little longer before anyone else showed up, but he was proven wrong when a second after he got out the popcorn he heard someone appear behind him and turned to see Remus.

He was holding something and looking uncharacteristically nervous, which set Virgil’s alarm bells off.

“Re?” he asked, setting the bag of popcorn down.

“I uh, made you a thing,” Remus said, shoving the thing he was holding at him, which looked like a wrapped gift.  “The thing that I was gonna make you before Janus was an idiot and ran off to the subconscious.”

Virgil took in it in surprise, looking down at it.

“If you want to go open that in private I can finish here,” Thomas said to Virgil.

Virgil gave him a grateful smile.  “Thanks,” he said, and he and Remus both sank out to Virgil’s room.

“I hope you don’t hate it,” Remus said instantly, with a casual tone Virgil could read through immediately.

“I’m not gonna hate it, dummy,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes with a fond smile.  “Hang on, let me just…”

He let his sentence fade off and pulled the wrapping paper off the gift, then set it to the side on his desk, and was met with a hoodie.

It was still black, but unlike his current one, this had bright purple patches and was the kind of brand-new fuzzy that hoodies had before you sent them through the wash.

“I figured, you kind of don’t have a color,” Remus said, still sounding very forcibly casual.  “And the rest of us do.  So.  You know, I made you it, and whatever and stuff.”

Virgil looked up at Remus with a smile, and then stepped forward and pulled him into his arms.  “You’re amazing,” he said.  “You know that, right?”

“Obviously,” Remus said, with a slightly choked up tone of voice.

“I love it,” Virgil said.  “Thank you.”

Remus made a small noise but didn’t say anything else, just pulled Virgil closer and squished him.

Virgil squished him back, and they both stood there for a moment being squished, which was as wonderful as always.

Eventually, they pulled apart, and Virgil took off his current hoodie and put on his new-and-obviously-improved version.

“You want to head out to Thomas and watch movies now?” he asked with a smile at Remus.

“Yes I do,” Remus said, starting to grin.  “You have to show off your amazing new outfit.”

“Naturally,” Virgil said with a smile, and he wrapped his arm around Remus’ so they could sink out together.  They had a 9AM movie night to get to, and a really good day after.

And a really, really good life to come after that.

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

G'night, Patt.

Guess what it is, it's another prompt from @sleepyvirgilprompts. Listen, these prompts have been getting me through an otherwise dry spell. They're a lot of fun and give me a break from the continuity of my AUs while also stretching me as a writer, so you'll be getting a few more of these down the road.

Virgil was awake before be he really realized it. He stayed still a moment under the warmth of his blanket before the tingling sensation in the back of his head pulled him fully from sleep to consciousness.

He stretched under the blanket in a way that no doubt would have gotten him teased for being cat like and reached for his phone on the night stand.

2:48 AM

He groaned and dropped his head back on his pillow. He didn't want to get up, if he was being honest. He'd much rather stay in his own cozy bed and go back to sleep in blissful ignorance like everyone else got to do.

But everyone else wasn't their fight or flight response and, unfortunately for Virgil, the brain couldn't tell the difference between dream emotions and awake emotion.

And so Virgil pushed himself upright and sat for a moment on the edge of his bed, trying to focus on the tingling sensation he felt. He nodded to himself after a moment, peeled his weight blanket from the bed, and made for Patton's room.

He tapped lightly on the door, despite knowing full well the Embodiment of Morality was asleep, before slipping into the room and closing the door silently behind him.

"It's alright, P," he whispered before gently draping his blanket over a trembling and mumbling Patton. "It's okay, Popstar, I gotcha." He sat on the edge of Patton bed and gently massaged the back of Patton’s neck.

Patton whined and pressed his face deeper into his pillow.

"I know," Virgil soothed. "I know, but it's gonna make it worse if I wake you up. Just breathe, Patt, you got this. Just like I showed you, in through the nose out through the mouth, you can do it." He sat at Patton's side whispering words of safety and encouragement and massaging his neck and shoulders till the episode seemed to pass and Patton’s breathing leveled out again.

"See? Told ya you could do it. Proud of you, P." He tucked one of Patton's plushie under his arm and Patton grabbed his hand as he pulled away. "Hey," Virgil knelt to be closer to eye level with him. "Didn't mean to wake you. You good?"

Patton nodded, his eyes glassy. "Thanks for takin' care of me, k-" His voice hitched suddenly. "Virgil."

"You're welcome, P. You want me to stay?"

"You don't have to," Patton shook his head.

"But do you want me to stay?"

Patton nodded. "I don't wanna be alone."

"Alright. Scooch over." Virgil waved his hands and Patton did as he was told, making room for Virgil, who laid down beside him. "Alright, now come here." He drew Patton in close, so that his head was nestled against Virgil's side.

"I'm sorry, Virgil," Patton whispered after a moment.

"I know," Virgil answered. "I'm not-" he sighed. "I'm not mad at you, okay? I'm not...thrilled about what's been going on, but I'm not mad at you, okay? There's a lot more to it than can be addressed in a-" he checked his phone "-3:12 am conversation and it's not something I feel up to anyway. But I'm not mad at you."

Patton nodded and tried to get himself to belive it. "Thanks, Virgil," he replied, the stiffness in his voice betraying him.

Virgil sighed. "Look. I don't...necessarily mind the nicknames. Just. They make me feel weird sometimes 'cause...it's hard to explain. I can't be soft, P. Not all the time. I have to be able to get Thomas's attention sometimes and- Y'remember when...I tried ducking out, and pulling away from Thomas completely?"

Patton nodded into his shoulder.

"Thomas said I was like an alarm clock, right? That's a lot more accurate than he knew. I don't just set off the alarm for external things though, and yeah, sometimes I jump the gun a little on this things, but I'm also the alarm for internal things, subconscious things. That's why I showed up when Logan and Roman started arguing. Because there was a problem, I couldn't name it, but I knew it was there. And you helped us get there, Patton, you helped Thomas get there. But I have to be able to sound those alarms. And it's hard to sound them, when you treat me like I'm...not who I am. I've changed a lot, P, but I am not some angel. I know- I know you mean well, and you're trying to be supportive and make me feel welcome because you don't want me pullin' another ducking out stunt and while I appreciate that sentiment, I have to be allowed to be scary."

"I guess I hadn't really thought about it that way," Patton replied.

"Well, yeah, P, it's not your job. That's why I don't really hold it against you. You're trying to do you're job and I'm trying to do mine. And sure our goal is to help Thomas, but he's human. He's got internal conflict just like any other human. That doesn't make us not friends anymore. Cause we still are. At least as far as I'm concerned."

"Thank you. It really means a lot to hear you say that. And I am trying, Virge, I really am."

"I know, Patt, we all are. But change and growth are hard. They're uncomfortable. And Thomas is really working on those things right now and that's gonna have a direct affect on all of us. It's gonna make things weird and a little hard for a while. But we're gonna be okay. All of us are gonna be okay. But so are you and I. We're still friends, even friends have their spats, okay? Friendship is like any other kind of relationship, it's not gonna be perfect and there are gonna be disagreements and arguments. But we're gonna get through them. Just, y'know, maybe not all tonight cause it's now even later and I'm gonna accidentally wake Thomas up if we get into all of that. So before we go to sleep, three things okay? One: we are still friends. Two: I'm not happy about a lotta things, but I am not angry at you. Three: I love you, Patton."

"Love you too, Virgil. Thank you for telling me all of this. I'll do my best to work on it."

"I know you will. But for now, let's just go to sleep."

Patton nodded and nestled a little closer to Virgil. "Night, kiddo. Love you too."

Virgil smiled and hugged him tightly. "G'night, Patt. Sweet dreams."

[sunshines-bee-farm]

Listening to Invisible String by Taylor Swift and thinking about my sanders sides agere fic based on the song…

Virgil being on his own in the city with one of his comfort stuffies and he passes by Patton, and he’s so used to people being mean that when Patton compliments it and Virgil barely hears, Virgil assumes he was being mean. After they’re well and together, they realize it was the two of them, and Virgil realizes he must have been wrong and it makes him question all the negative things in life.

Patton first taking care of Virgil in his regression. He’s soft and clumsy and not strict enough because he doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries. Virgil thinks he’s great.

Virgil and Patton both agreeing that they don’t want their relationship to be anything more than parental, that they’re not interested in romance in any headspace including big, and Patton’s happy to be Virgil’s papa <3

“Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven.”

Hhhh i want to write this i need my ADHD meds lol

[dotemakesthings]

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Sanders Sides (Web Series) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders Characters: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Alternate Universe - Human, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Identity Porn, Alternate Universe - College/University, Childhood Friends, Bad Parenting, Fist Fights, Insults, Minor Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Depression, Recovering from a Massive Fuckup Summary:

Virgil’s soulmate, Dee, writes to him on his arm almost every day. He’s supportive, sweet, and everything Virgil could want in a soulmate.

He’s glad for the support when he has to deal with this absolute *asshole* in his English seminar named Janus.

Chapter 4: Virgil gets a little help from people who love him.

Taglist under cut:

@awitchbravestheverge

@sometimes-love-is-enough

@prince-rowan-of-the-forest

@fangirlwriting-stories

[edwin-payne-enthusiast]

electing strange perfections (in any stranger i choose) - Chapter 1/?

next | masterlist | AO3

Word count: 5117

Summary:

The fae world and the human world had always been mostly separate. Fae crossed between the two realms while humans remained oblivious to their very existence, and that was how it had been for centuries. But when the lines start to bleed, and humans start catching on, who's going to step in and put an end to the conflict that follows? Human or fae, fate does tend to fall into strange hands (aka, logince fae au)

((AN: this is like 60% based on an rp i did a while back on tumblr. I definitely strayed from the original storyline a lot but the idea and the characters are like… pretty similar i think. this is also incredibly self indulgent bc im a sucker for logince. enjoy :] ))

~ * ~

Humans liked to consider themselves to be intelligent. Masters of the world they lived in. They dug up coal to power their great machines, and cut down trees to put up the scaffolding for towering buildings. They sacrificed their share of the Earth for the wonders they saw fit to create, and they turned to each other with unsatisfied smiles, as if to say: ‘Look at that. Look at the greatness we have achieved’.

They never quite finished with their powerful innovations, there was always something more. Some turned to science, and quickly became bored, many claiming that we had already mastered the Earth, there was nothing more to learn. Yes, humans quickly convinced themselves that they understood most everything, and whatever they didn’t understand, well, they at least could pinpoint its existence, could say with confidence that it was infact real. Although this mindset has led to great discoveries, it is the hinderance of the most vital secrets that the Earth holds close to her chest.

Then again, perhaps it’s not always the important people making the important discoveries. After all, sometimes fate does tend to fall into strange hands.

~ * ~

Logan awoke just like he did every other morning, the smell of coffee drifting up the stairs, the sound of his mothers poorly singing along to some ABBA song, the summery morning air drifting in from his window that he always forgot to close, his homework still strewn across his desk from his late night study session. All was normal because that day was a normal day.

He got out of bed as usual, ten minutes before his alarm was supposed to go off, as he always tended to wake up earlier than he needed to. He blamed it on his circadian rhythm, and would usually bore his mothers to death with some scientific spiel whenever the topic came up, but if asked if he would set his alarm back ten minutes to compensate for it, he refused for whatever reason.

He put on his school clothes that he had laid out the night before, black jeans, a blue button up and a black tie, similar to what he always wore, formal and neat. He heard that type of clothing would get kids bullied in some schools, but he kept his head down, was quiet and polite, and his peers were always kind to him, even if he never found himself with many friends.

He brushed his hair, cleaned his teeth, made himself seem presentable, turned off his alarm once it went off, picked up his already packed schoolbag and slung it over his shoulder, before he went downstairs, everything going the way it always did. Today would be a normal day, why wouldn’t it be?

Logan’s feet had barely left the bottom step when one of his mothers swept into the hallway from around the corner. April was her name, named after the month she was born in. She often joked about her parents lack of creativity, and her surprise that her younger brother wasn’t named January. She was a shorter woman, with deep golden tan skin and kind eyes shining from behind a pair of round framed glasses. Her hair was long, dark, and curly, and her face was adorned with deep smile lines to compliment her dimples. Logan knew his mom had always been a beautiful woman, though he didn’t need to say it, his other mother, Natalie (named after nothing in particular, her parents simply adored the name), did her best to remind her wife every morning.

April walked to up to him with a skip in her step, going on her tip toes to run a hand through his hair “Oh Logan, look at you, always so professional looking. It’s high school, not a business conference you know?” she smiled fondly as she stepped back to admire her son.

“Mama, please, I have a reputation to uphold,” Logan replied, flattening down his hair. It was insatiably curly, and he always did his best to keep in neat. Just another trait he shared with his mama. People had always pointed out how similar he and April looked, ever since he was a child. April always tried to convince him that he had Natalie’s eyes, but he knew now that he was older that made no sense. Natalie, with her pale skin and pin straight brown hair, played about as much of a part in his genetic makeup as the anonymous man from the sperm bank played in his upbringing.

Logan’s almond skin, his poor eyesight, his curly, dark hair, all were traits he shared with his mama. He figured that the anonymous donor must have been tall though, as he was almost a head taller than both of his mothers, with a bit more room for maybe one more growth spurt.

“Oh please, all of your teachers already adore you” April hummed and tugged on Logan’s tie gently “At least lose the tie, it’s going to be hot today. Come on, breakfast is ready, we might even let you have two cups of coffee this morning if you promise to not stay up so late studying tonight” she said with a grin, walking out into the kitchen.

Logan followed behind her, the sounds of a familiar song filling his ears as he stepped into the kitchen alongside his mother.

‘-my destiny in quite a similar way. The history book on the shelf, is always repeating itself…’

“Waterloo? You couldn’t have picked a better song?” Logan teased lightly, immediately going to pour himself a cup of coffee.

Natalie turned her head around from where she was sitting at the kitchen bench “Excuse you young man, Waterloo is and always has been a hit” she argued back with a light-hearted tone, her voice still a bit rough from sleep..

“No, it was a hit in 1974. The Winner Takes it All is objectively a much better song, if we’re talking ABBA” Logan pointed out. Their musical debates were common in the mornings. It was all routine, his mothers put on a song, Logan came downstairs and critiqued it over coffee, rinse and repeat.

“Sorry honey but I have to agree with Nat on this one” April chimed in, sitting next to her wife “I mean, you can’t win Eurovision with a mediocre song. Besides, The Winner Takes it All doesn’t fit the morning vibe”

Natalie nodded to what her wife said, a tiny strand of her hair falling out of the tight bun it was held in “Very true. And really if we’re going to talk better ABBA songs, I’d consider Hole in Your Soul over any other song any day”

April put a hand over her heart in a dramatic fashion “Whoa hold on a second, you’re taking Hole in Your Soul over The Visitors? Now that’s crazy...”

‘-couldn't escape if I wanted to, Waterloo, knowing my fate is to be with you…’

Logan smiled a little to himself as his mothers continued to playfully bicker over ABBA. He took a sip of his coffee, drinking slowly so he didn’t burn his tongue.

His mothers had known each other for years, but for all Logan knew they could have known each other forever. He had never met two people who were closer than they were. They met in their sophomore year of high school, and Natalie proposed when they were both twenty-two, back in 1999. Of course, they couldn’t actually get married until about sixteen years later, for obvious reasons. Logan was ten at the time, he still remembered the wedding, and how much his mothers had smiled all throughout the ceremony. He was sure if he dug around in his closet a bit he could find the little black suit and tie he had worn, all dusty and stiff with seven years of no wear.

Logan eventually finished his coffee and put it down on the bench, filling his cup up again, slowly and carefully so as to not spill a single drop. Natalie looked over at Logan, not mentioning the second cup as it was merely routine for all of them by now “What’s on the agenda today Lo?”

Logan hummed, taking a sip of his coffee before speaking “I have a science project to wrap up, and then I might stay late to finish up my English essay in the common area”

“Why don’t you just come home and finish it?” April asked, tilting her head to the side.

“If I come straight home you’ll spend all the time I spend on work trying to pull me away from it, and I can’t risk that sort of distraction,” Logan answered.

April scoffed “Oh please, it’s probably not due for another month, you’re far too organised”

Natalie nodded in agreement “Yeah, you certainly didn’t inherit either of your mothers’ tendencies for procrastination”

“Well inherited procrastination or not, I’ll stay late today. What time should I be home by?” Logan asked, grabbing an apple out of the fruit bowl next to him on the counter, intending on taking it for breakfast even though he knew the chances of being able to leave the house without first eating a proper meal were slim.

“Hmm how about you be home by… now. And ditch school. And we can do something fun as a family and have a together day” April suggested, tilting her head to the side with a crooked smile.

“As tempting as that sounds-“ Logan began in a way that sounded like he wasn’t tempted in the slightest “I have a perfect attendance to uphold, and besides, I promised Virgil that I’d meet up with him to help proof read a paper for him”

Natalie sighed heavily, her shoulders slouching in an melodramatic disappointment “Oh dearest Logan, always working, never enough time for his boring old mothers”

Logan rolled his eyes in amusement, tucking the apple away in his bag to save for his walk to school “Look, tomorrow’s Saturday, we’re all free all day so we can have a together day then; we’ll do whatever you want. How does that sound?”

“I thought you had to tutor on Saturdays?” April pointed out.

“The student cancelled, they came down with the flu, or they were out of town, I can’t really remember. Either way, I don’t have to tutor them tomorrow so I’m free” Logan explained.

Both April and Natalie smiled “Well that’s wonderful! Yes, tomorrow it is, and you better not cancel otherwise you will never live it down” April warned.

“Yes mama, I know” Logan said with a fond smile, about to turn to head out the door when Natalie picked up a brown paper bag off of the counter and tossed it to him.

“Breakfast” She said simply “Eat it or I’ll come down to the school and tell them you have a doctors appointment and-“ she gasped dramatically for effect” “-force you to skip school!”

“Yes ma” Logan said, his tone exasperated but downplayed by his smile. “Love you Lo, have a good day” “You too ma” “And me?” “Yes mama, and you” “Bye Lo, have fun at school, do not work too hard today” “Goodbye”

And with that, Logan was out the door. The walk to school wasn’t a long one, and though Logan was perfectly capable of just driving to school, he enjoyed going by foot. It was good exercise and he lived on the brink between suburb and nature, so it was nice to hear the birds and see the green of his surroundings in the mornings, it helped to wake him up.

His actual school was a lot less lively than its surroundings, but that didn’t bother Logan all that much. He enjoyed school, which some people found strange, but didn’t everyone enjoy the things that they excelled at?

He walked into first period with his arms heavy with books and his bag heavy with homework, either to be handed in early or to bring up questions about some aspect of the assignment. First period English went smoothly, he handed in his annotation homework, made good progress on analysing the text they were studying (which they weren’t due to start analysing until next week, Logan just liked to get a head start), and engaged in a friendly debate about the textual meaning behind the piece they were studying, which always brought his mood up, especially considering he always had a tendency to win said debates.

Second period algebra was just as simple for him, writing examples on the board, getting extension work halfway through the class once he had finished all the other material, making notes and areas for improvement. He studied in the library during his morning break and then went straight back in for a physics class in third period.

Everything went pretty well, until fourth period biology, where he hit a small bump in the road.

The first half of the period went well, with Logan handing in one of his projects a week early, as he usually did. Although just as he was packing up to leave, his biology teacher called him up to the front, his project folder open on his desk, “All of your work is exceptional, as always Mr Sanders, however you seem to have missed a small part of the assignment”

Logan was immensely proud of his project. They had been tasked with identifying one common plant that grew in the area, and giving a detailed description on its properties, environment, cellular makeup, evolution over its existence and the like. Logan had taken great care to include every detail, so what could he possibly have missed? “Oh, my apologies sir, I wasn’t aware. I had checked and double checked my project against the instruction guide last night and found no issue, so I am curious, what did I miss?”

Logan’s biology teacher shook his head “It’s nothing major, and I won’t mark you down for it if you don’t want to go and add that now that you’ve already submitted. I’ll admit, it’s only a small detail. In the instruction guide, at the top of the page, students were asked to include either a picture or a physical example of the plant that they had selected” his teacher said, pulling out the guide and sliding it over to Logan, pointing out the part that had instructed that, “It’s easy to miss, don’t stress about it. Now, I can see that you have chosen stinging nettle, so of course I don’t expect you to go out and pick any-“

“I’ll do it” Logan said abruptly, “My apologies sir, I didn’t know that I had missed something so simple. If it’s alright, I will unsubmit my project now and I’ll bring the completed version with me tomorrow”

“Oh, you really don’t have to-“

“Nonsense, I wouldn’t want my work to be of a substandard quality. I assure you, I will have it done properly by tomorrow. Good afternoon sir” Logan said, quick to pick up his project off of the teachers desk and whisk himself out of the classroom without another word. How on Earth could he have missed something so small? He supposed he would have to put off finishing his essay that the afternoon, opting instead to take the walk into the woods at the edge of town to collect some nettle. It was fine, the essay wasn’t due for another month anyways.

When Logan sat down in the library at lunch, he was thoroughly disturbed. He still could hardly believe that he had missed something so simple, so easy. Completing the task would have taken him five minutes, and not only had he not done it, he had completely skimmed over actually doing it, he didn’t even forget, he just didn’t process the instruction.

Logan barely noticed someone sliding into the seat next to him until they cleared their throat to get his attention.

“You good there bud?” Virgil asked, seeing Logan stare off into the distance with that look in his eyes that he only got when he was overthinking something sparking a bit of concern in the older boy. “Hm? Oh, hello Virgil, yes I am perfectly adequate” Logan replied with a small nod towards his friend.

Virgil and Logan had known each other for twelve years. Twelve long years of what started out as enduring each other’s presence, to accepting it, to enjoying it. They had met in kindergarten when they were put in the same class, and forced to sit together after an argument broke out about who owned which pencil when their stationary got mixed up during arts and craft. It was some tactic to get them to get along, and for a while it didn’t work; arguments broke out every day, and many pencils were snapped in half in the process, but by the end of the year, they had begrudgingly accepted each other as acquaintances rather than enemies, and now, years down the line, that bond had only strengthened.

Virgil and Logan wouldn’t quite consider the other the only friend they had, but they would be stupid to not consider each other best friends.

Which was why Logan’s inner turmoil was more than obvious to Virgil.

“Come on, spit it out, what happened” Virgil said, dropping his bag on the floor next to him with a thud.

“It’s nothing, no time for distractions, we need to proofread your paper” Logan said, trying to grab the essay out of Virgil’s hands, not before Virgil had lifted it up and out of Logan’s reach.

“Nuh uh, nice try. You’re not getting this until you tell me what’s wrong” Virgil said, waving the paper around above Logan’s head, making the shorter boy frown at the thought of the creases the taller would be making to the paper. Much to Logan’s dismay, Virgil had always been freakishly tall, standing at almost 6’4”, towering above Logan who stood at about 5’10”. They had been the same height for most of their earlier school years, but as soon as Virgil hit the seventh grade he shot up, and ever since then he had often used his height to his advantage, and seemed to take much enjoyment out of holding things just out of Logan’s reach.

Logan sighed in annoyance and conceded “Fine. I handed in my biology project early and my professor informed me at the end of class that I had missed an instruction so it was unfinished”

Virgil blinked “And?”

“That’s all” Logan replied simply.

“That’s all?” Virgil echoed, biting back a laugh “Lo that’s no big deal, don’t worry about it. You handed it in early too so it doesn’t matter. You can just unsubmit it and bring the completed one in when it’s ready”

“I know I know, it’s just… I never miss details like that. It was such a small thing, a physical example or a picture, that was all I was missing, and the instruction was right at the top of the page and I just… missed it” Logan said, his tone suggesting that it was some crucial thing that he had skimmed over and not just a small part of his project.

“Y’know what I think Lo? I think you’re overworking yourself” Virgil said, resting his chin in his hands, keeping his paper pinned under his elbow on the table so Logan still couldn’t get to it “You need to take a break, step away from schoolwork for a bit. You’re already like months ahead of everyone else on classwork. It couldn’t hurt to stop for just a little while, clear your head. I mean, no one in a right state of mind freaks out about missing a simple part of their project, do they?”

Logan sighed heavily, wanting to argue but figuring that it was no use, Virgil had always been the stubborn type, and in some way he was correct. “I suppose you’re right, maybe I am in over my head. I’ll try to step back a bit” Virgil smiled, pleased “Good, you need it specs”

“If you say so. Now, you wanted me to proofread your paper?” Virgil raised an eyebrow amusedly and shook his head, to which Logan huffed in annoyance “Certainly your work doesn’t count as my work, I’m simply going to proofread it-“

“Nope, you’re taking a well-deserved break and that includes all forms of work including proofreading. It’s in the fine print of our agreement, and I would recommend you read it but I’m sure that counts as some kind of proofreading so no, don’t do that” Virgil said, snickering at his own joke.

Logan just rolled his eyes “You are incorrigible”

“You’re very welcome L”

The two boys sat like that for a while, engaging in a bit of friendly back and forth. It was all familiar for them, after all it wasn’t the first time that Virgil had insisted Logan took a break. He always found some way to overwork himself, through school, personal projects, or anything else that required his attention for extend periods of time. Of course, it’s not as bad as it used to be. Virgil remembered the times when he wouldn’t see Logan at all outside of classrooms for days, or sometimes weeks on end, always too busy studying at the library or finishing the mountains of extra work he had asked for in each subject. He remembered how irritable he always was, how tired he always looked. Over time, things changed, and it was better now, but it always felt like Logan was at risk of falling back into that spiral, constantly teetering on the edge. Virgil wished that Logan could eventually find some way to just step back from reality, even just for a little while, not get so caught up in school.

By the time they were supposed to head off to their last class of the day, both of the boys were in good spirits. A lively conversation mixed with a casual debate usually did wonders to lift their moods, so they both parted ways to their classes with smiles and promises to organise plans together soon.

Logan was feeling better, that little weight on his shoulders felt smaller, everything felt more manageable now that he was no longer so worked up over something so unimportant. He walked into his ancient history class with a lighter feeling in his chest, ready to get the class done and be finished for the day. He sat down in his usual seat, pulled out his notebook and pens, and started taking notes as the class began, writing down the work and answering any questions that the teacher asked. It was all normal and completely usual once more.

Logan often had a habit of getting too into his own head about minor things, especially when it came to matters of academics, something that he took very seriously. What had started out with him doing accelerated math and advanced reading in elementary school had led to him being the top of his year, winning awards for essays he submitted to competitions, and having several, rather persistent college scouts trying to persuade him into submitting an application. Even though he was at a point in his senior year where potential colleges was something that students were beginning to think over, Logan had already planned out his course and top picks for colleges, all of which he was certain he would be accepted to, and his mind was rarely changed. He liked to have things planned out in advance after all. At the very least, he was modest about it. In fact, his mothers seemed to brag more than he did about his numerous achievements. He would always claimed to be embarrassed whenever they started to boast about him, but in reality, he didn’t mind too much; it was nice to be recognized. The end of class rolled around quicker than Logan had expected, the teacher signing off with giving them a hefty homework task to complete over the weekend, leaving students groaning and mumbling in discontent while Logan just jotted it down in his notebook.

After placing his things neatly in his bag and staying back to ask his teacher one question about the homework, he left the classroom, heading towards the school gates. On a normal day he would walk home with Virgil, since he only lived about a five minute walk away from his home, however Virgil was not waiting for him at the gate today. He had messaged him a little while ago, letting him know that he was going to stay back in the library to proofread his paper that they didn’t get to read at lunch with some of the student volunteers there. Logan was very tempted to join him in the library, but he knew Virgil wouldn’t let him stay and would bring up the whole ‘overworking’ thing again, so he kept on walking, past the school gates, onto the street.

At about fifteen minutes into his walk, the lack of the usual conversation he would be having with Virgil began making things a little dull, leaving the occupation of his mind to his thoughts. At any one time Logan was thinking of many things, and this was no exception. He was thinking about how best to start his ancient history homework, if his mothers had brainstormed any weekend plans, what his grade would be on their recent math quiz, a rather tricky chemistry question that had puzzled him for quite some time, and unsurprisingly, his biology project. Even though he tried to ignore it, he couldn’t help that prickly feeling under his skin when he thought about it being handed in incomplete.

Logan stopped in the middle of the path and looked around. A decent distance from him, yet well within his line of sight, he could see the tree line that separated the suburbs from the woods that all the infrastructure was built around. Logan had heard about developers fighting over the woods for a long time, wanting to build apartment blocks, but the land was protected by the government under an environmental act; Logan was pretty sure it was a national park, or at least something of the sort.

He stayed looking at the tree line for a few moment, hesitating on a decision. He knew that Virgil warned him against worrying over the project too much but surely it couldn’t hurt. It shouldn’t take long to find a sample anyways, stinging nettle was rather common around these parts, and taking a short detour was surely better than leaving his biology project unfinished. Without another thought, Logan diverted from the sidewalk and started heading towards the woods. It was a short walk, mostly downhill, so it didn’t take long, and once he passed the tree line, the shade provided by the canopy was a welcome protection from the warm afternoon sun.

The air was cool and damp from the recent summer rains, and the leaf litter crunched softly under his feet as he walked further in, his path illuminated by the few rays of afternoon sun that snuck in through the canopy. Logan took a short moment just to look around and appreciate it all. He had always had a soft spot for nature, ever since he was a small child. His mothers were obsessed with showing him environment documentaries and watching how excited he would get over the pretty plants and cool fauna. Eventually, as he got older, that excitement turned into a genuine passion and curiosity. The natural world was certainly considered to be one of his personal interests.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by a sudden strange feeling that burrowed it’s way into his chest. He didn’t know where it had come from or what exactly the feeling was, all he knew was that suddenly, his body felt a little lighter, and he felt the sudden urge to keep walking forward. For a moment he thought it was like he was being beckoned, but that was an illogical thought, it was just some strange instinct. All thoughts of the strange feeling were forgotten when he finally stumbled upon what he had been looking for; a patch of stinging nettle, well he supposed it could hardly be considered a ‘patch’, as it was arranged in a rather strange manner, growing in a perfectly neat circle on the ground in front of him, with little white flowers blossoming below each leaf. In the middle of the circle sat a smooth stone, with little tufts of moss growing off it. Logan admired it for a few moments, almost like he couldn’t quite take his eyes off of it. The feeling in his chest ached softly, he ignored it.

He thought it was strange, for the nettle to be growing in such a perfect circle like it was. Perhaps someone had come along and planted it like this, or maybe it was some wonderful coincidence. He wasn’t entirely sure, but for some reason it captivated him.

After a minute or two he caught himself getting distracted by his thoughts and snapped himself out of it. He knew collecting a sample of this stuff would be tricky, he didn’t want to get stung, and he didn’t really have the right equipment for the job. He considered turning back and waiting for another day to return when he had something safer to carry the plant with, but quickly dismissed that thought, he was here now, he might as well get it done. Besides, he had told his teacher that it would be completed by tomorrow, and he intended to live up to that claim.

Crouching down, Logan put his hand in the hem at the bottom of his shirt and used it to safely pick a piece of nettle, tearing off a few leaves near the bottom so he could let go of his shirt and hold it by the stem. He observed the piece he had taken, it was adequate, but the leaves were small and the flowers were a little wilted, not the most pristine specimen. With a slight frown, Logan looked back at the circle, and a stem of nettle across from him on the other side of the circle caught his eye; large green leaves, a tall stem, numerous little white flowers, it would do perfectly.

The young man gingerly stepped into the circle, careful not to tread on any of the other bits of nettle, and crouched down inside of it, reaching out to pick the nettle from the base of the stem to avoid getting stung. He smiled a bit, admiring it once it was in his hand as he felt that strange feeling in his chest soar. It would work perfectly, he was sure to get a good mark on his biology project, now that everything was accounted for.

Logan had time for only one more thought, that being that he was suddenly feeling a bit lightheaded, before everything suddenly went dark.

[warcats-cat]

Wide Eyed in Wonder (AKA: Two)

Patton has an unfortunate mishap with some wayward magic. Some chaos and some softness ensue.

A/N: Please read The Long Road Home (Tumblr) (Ao3) before reading this fic! It will make a lot more sense with the context from that work.

You can also read this work on Ao3 if preferred!

I'm doing it I'm posting this!!! I've been messing with it since literally before the first chapter of Long Road Home was *posted*. And I know that if I don't just bite the bullet and *post* it, I'll never stop messing with it. Not that I'm not happy with it!! This has one of my favorite one-liner's I've ever written. I just never stop editing...

As always, please let me know if I missed any tags! I hope you enjoy this very silly piece as much as I enjoyed writing it!

- set roughly 3 months after leaving Wardenthall Manor -

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Virgil was still grumbling, wondering why he had been put in the lead when Roman was going on and on about some mysterious fountain that he just had to see, when Patton yelped next to him. The half-fairy had stiffened and fallen backwards, as if something had pushed him over. The party stopped abruptly, Virgil rushing immediately to his fairy’s side.

“Pat? You ok?” he asked softly, kneeling to help him back up if needed.

Patton forced himself back up, bracing with one arm and holding the other to his face. He groaned.

“ ‘M ok. Just a little shocked, I think.” he said, strained. He shook his head as if to clear it, before accepting Virgil’s hand gratefully, and being pulled to his feet. 

Upon standing, he immediately stumbled, but quickly righted himself. Virgil could tell the fairy was becoming uncomfortable, watching as he fiddled with the edges of the half-cape that laid over his shoulder. 

“Are you ready to continue?” Logan asked, looking like he very much wanted to check Patton for injuries in the meantime. Patton roughly nodded, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms, before setting off once more.

Patton made it about two steps before he stumbled again, flailing his arms out and almost slapping Virgil in the process. 

"Woah," the mage said, reaching an arm under Patton's to help support him, "You sure you're ok?" 

Patton made a face, as if the question was particularly difficult. "I feel… funny." He said finally. 

Virgil shuffled him a little closer, noticing the fairy's eyes had gone a little unfocused, tinged red at the corners. What had happened? This time, Logan did come closer, and gently inspected the back of Patton’s head. 

“You have no visible injuries. Perhaps you and Virgil should walk closely for a while, in case you continue to feel disoriented.” the scholar said softly. Patton made no motion to acknowledge that Logan had spoken at all, which was extremely weird for him. Patton always acknowledged whoever was speaking, at the very least nodding to signal that he’d heard; a habit long ingrained from his time with the Marquis of Assholes.

Virgil felt Patton start to tremble, just slightly, and as he took another step, he almost seemed to swing his leg, as if it were detached. Virgil had to grab the fairy completely around the chest to keep him from falling flat on his face. 

"Hey Ro, need your help." Virgil grunted, and Patton made a hysterical, almost strangled laugh. And yet, at the same time, Patton tilted towards Virgil, as if trying to press the side of his head into Virgil's face. The Prince came carefully from behind the pair, taking a firm but gentle hold of Patton's waist. 

"Hello love," Roman said lowly in his ear, "may I pick you up?" The fairy leaned into his touch easily, and nodded. And yet, as Roman adjusted his hold to lift him from the knees, the fairy squeaked, grabbing desperately at Roman's vest and tucking his face into the prince's chest. 

"You're alright, tadpole. I've got you." He murmured into Patton's hair, to which the smaller man hummed and relaxed some in his grip, although he made no move to turn his head back around to the others. 

To say Virgil was concerned was an understatement. 

Patton was still getting used to them as friends, occasionally allowing Virgil to hold his hand, but never one to initiate, especially outside the safety of their little group. It had taken almost a month for him to so much as look Roman in the eye, let alone accept compliments or physical affection. And yet here he was now. He'd flipped faster than a coin from nervous about the situation to red faced, almost purring at snuggling with Roman while the prince held him; and from the side they could see a light, relaxed smile on his face. Virgil exchanged a nervous glance with Logan's curious one.

"Patton," Logan moved closer, and the fairy hummed again. "May I see you please?" The scholar placed a careful hand on his shoulder, and after a moment he finally seemed to understand what Logan had asked, releasing his grip on Roman's vest and turning his upper body to face the other two. 

Whatever had happened had happened fast. 

Patton's eyes were lidded, glassy, his whole face and body relaxed. He smiled wider at seeing Logan, and when the scholar reached out to get a closer look at his face, the fairy turned to nuzzle into his palm as well. If it was possible, his blush seemed to grow darker red, flushing to the tips of his ears and maybe even down his shoulders. 

What the hell?

Logan brushed a thumb over Patton’s cheek, and the fairy shut his eyes completely for a moment; but when Logan pulled his hand away, Patton pouted, and looked to the scholar as if asking what he had done wrong. 

“His pupils are excessively dilated.” Logan said, half to himself. The scholar reached out to cup Patton’s cheek once more, and the fairy hummed happily, turning his face into the touch. 

“Did we step in something?” Virgil asked, watching Patton’s strange behavior from a distance.

Roman was scanning the area over their heads, when suddenly his eyes widened.

“Virgil, those red flowers in the underbrush. Just next to you. Be careful.” he said lowly.

Virgil looked down where Roman was indicating, and sure enough, there were blood red poppy flowers peeking out. But that wasn’t the worst part.

The flowers were carefully arranged; they’d almost stepped right into a fairy ring. The fastest way into the FaeWilds with absolutely no way back. There were two that lay crumpled, having been crushed under Patton’s foot as he walked.

Logan reached his other hand out to Virgil, who took it and stepped carefully away from the deceivingly innocent flowers. The three moved back carefully, scanning through the underbrush again.

Patton whined at being deprived of Logan’s hand once again, which Roman tried to soothe by bringing the half-fairy’s face back to his chest, muttering, “Hush, tadpole. It’s alright.” There was a long pause between the three, staring at the circle.

“We should get moving,” Virgil said finally, “in case whoever left this here comes back.”  

----------

Logan only had one working theory as to where Patton’s odd behavior had suddenly come from. 

A fairy of sufficient power could, theoretically, disrupt whatever spells had been laid on a given fairy ring; the ring was only as strong as the fairy who planted it. And Patton, though reserved about his powers at the best of times, clearly had significant magical ability, especially for being only half-blooded. He’d been slowly gaining confidence and control with Virgil’s help (and the help of other mages they encountered in their travels); even in the early stages of his training, it was becoming more and more apparent to Logan that whomever had been his fae parent, they had to be of incredibly high rank. 

So it was entirely possible that, when he had stepped on the flowers forming the circle, Patton had effectively snuffed out the magic there entirely, without even being aware of doing so. And, because he’d been connected to the ring for those few seconds before being thrown backwards by the release of excess magic, he’d absorbed some of it. 

To put it in terms Roman would understand, Patton was Magic-Drunk.

Now, Patton walking of his own power back to their camp was entirely out of the question; both because it was clear his sense of balance had been all but obliterated, and because any attempt of Roman's to put him down only elicited upset whining, and that same incredibly broken face that tugged at even Logan's firm heartstrings. 

As if Roman were going to abandon him in the woods forever, not just adjust his backpack. 

At the same time, Virgil's nervous hovering only increased with each minute. He alternated between frantically scanning the woods around them for assailants and checking up on Patton. It was almost dizzying to watch, and yet also moderately adorable. 

Perhaps Logan would admit to being the slightest bit envious of the pair's relationship. Virgil was the only one of their group with whom Patton would allow himself to completely relax, though he was slowly but surely becoming comfortable with Roman and Logan himself. It was slow-going, but well worth the effort. 

And yet, here they were, walking through the woods back towards camp, the half-fairy snuggled comfortably into Roman's arms and occasionally softly swinging his feet. Virgil running a gentle hand over his hair every time the mage turned back to check on him. 

They were, perhaps, two-thirds of the way back when Logan felt eyes on him; and sure enough, when he looked over, Patton's widened eyes were fixed solely on the scholar, peeking halfway out from his position tucked into Roman's chest. Logan couldn't control the smile that broke out on his face; whether it was from fondness or nervousness at being stared at, he couldn't be sure. 

The fairy's face didn't change, however; Patton continued unabashedly staring, as if Logan was suddenly the most fascinating thing in the vicinity. 

Really, Logan couldn't help himself. 

He ambled closer to Roman, reached over, and softly poked Patton's nose. Just as he'd seen Virgil do, dozens of times previous. 

Patton made no sound, but his mouth opened, just a touch, and his eyes crossed to their extremes while trying to look at his nose where Logan's hand had been. 

Roman, who had been watching the scene, snickered at the fairy's actions, angling his head down and pressing a light kiss into his hair. The noise then prompted Virgil to turn back, and upon seeing Patton's face broke into his own fond smile. 

"What did you do to him?" Virgil asked softly, moving closer to Roman so that their company was now tightly packed against the unaware fairy. The mage waved a hand in front of Patton's face, which at the very least righted the position of his eyes. 

"I did nothing." Logan said with a casual smile. "I merely tested a display of physical affection that I have seen you employ several times." The scholar then demonstrated by poking Patton's nose again, this time causing the poor fairy to cross his eyes and slightly tilt his head. 

Virgil chuckled as he spoke, "Aww, Pat." He waved a hand once more in Patton's face to refocus his eyes, and it seemed that Patton had tired of the game as he blinked a few times before leaning his head back against Roman with his eyes now shut. "Nothin's goin' on in there right now, is there buddy?" 

Virgil smiled fondly anyway, and ruffled Patton's hair for the fifth time that hour.

"Never fear!" Roman said, his voice lowered but tone still excited. "I'm sure we can take excellent care of our dear cupcake in the meantime." The prince adjusted his hold slightly, prompting Patton to curl inwards once more. "With my luck, he probably just needs some time to sleep it off."

----------

Virgil was really reaching his emotional limit today. First the fear of Patton stepping on a fairy ring, then the fear of  what the hell happened,  and  now  having no idea when it would wear off. 

And Patton's face,  every time Roman tried to set him down. It pulled on Virgil's heart worse than seeing him in the stockade. 

They definitely couldn't leave him alone in the carriage or in the tent; if he couldn't see at least one of them, Patton would bury his face in his knees and just shudder with silent crying, and it had taken almost two hours before Roman had managed to coax a few words out of him. He was scared they were going to leave. 

They'd propped Patton up at first in one of the bed rolls, and the fairy had watched with a downright creepy silence as the three worked around him. Then Roman had gotten the idea of setting the fairy a little higher, and strung up a (thankfully well secured) makeshift hammock for him to sit in. 

Now Patton could see the whole camp, and they'd given him a blanket and pillow in the hopes that he would go to sleep, and maybe be back to normal. 

Four and a half hours and counting, and Patton was still higher than a kite. 

It was Virgil's turn to sit with him; they'd been rotating every fifteen minutes or so, so everyone could get a chance at getting work done. The mage was just chattering away about anything he could think of, his left arm going numb from reaching up to let Patton hold it.

It wasn't until hour five hit that Virgil got an idea. 

The sun was still blazing its highest in the sky, Roman and Logan setting up something to eat for lunch, and thankfully Patton didn't protest when Virgil kissed his hand and let go, running off for a minute to the carriage. 

No one was allowed inside Patton's backpack except for Virgil. He wore it constantly when they were traveling, refusing to let go, and Virgil had learned early on that everything inside was carefully organized into different pockets. 

The fear of someone taking away all of his possessions ran deep; even if there had been a spell in place protecting anything in his room, apparently anything left  outside  the little living space had been fair game. Thankfully, Roman and Logan were graciously understanding of the situation. 

Still, Virgil was very careful not to disrupt anything as he unbuckled an inner pocket in the bag where Patton's most precious possessions were hidden. From the safety of the very bottom, even hidden under the bag of the fairy's savings, Virgil fished out his prize.

Patton was testing the ropes of the hammock when Virgil returned, idly swaying his body and producing the slightest swinging motion. Virgil couldn't help the soft smile on his face; Patton would be doing that even if he wasn't a little out of his mind. 

"Hey Pat, I got you something." Virgil said, leaning in a little. The fairy tilted his head and hummed; words were pretty hard at the moment. Still, Virgil smiled a little wider as he presented the gift; a tiny stuffed puppy that they had shared when they were still kids, a donation from the village that Patton had snatched up as his prize for being especially good one week, and apparently never given up. 

The fairy's face lit up, his smile wide and blinding. The first actual smile he had made since being carried around in Roman's arms. And, Virgil noticed, the very tips of his ears twitched just a hair upwards; the surest bet that Patton was extremely excited about something.

"Pup!" he said, almost in disbelief, and Virgil wondered for a moment if the fairy had forgotten the toy existed while in his present state. 

Patton presented his open hands and carefully took the pup, cradling it close to his chest. 

"I thought he might help you get some sleep," Virgil said softly, watching as Patton nuzzled the top of the puppy's head. "Since he used to be so good at chasing away the bad dreams."

The half-fairy only hummed in response, but that was all Virgil needed for now. While Patton was fixated on the stuffed animal, Virgil very carefully began threading his fingers through his hair, weaving a light spell to make the fairy drowsy.

It took almost instantly; usually Virgil had to work for a few minutes when trying to make Logan or Roman (usually Logan) sleep, and he had to be a lot more sneaky about it. But Patton was already half gone, and to the mage's relief, he was out like a light within seconds. 

Logan would probably comment about pushing more into his system when he was already overloaded, but Virgil didn't care if it meant the fairy would sleep. And hopefully wake up normal…

----------

Patton did sleep for several hours, and it was early evening before he woke again.

However, his eyes, and therefore his mental state, seemed unchanged despite the rest; and now he was sitting up in the little hammock he'd been laid in, staring hard at his hands. 

At first, Logan thought he might be pondering his family sigil, but as the scholar came closer, the fairy suddenly looked up at him with wide, deeply upset eyes; his dilated pupils almost completely obscuring the iris. 

"What's wrong, starlight?" Logan asked, hesitantly using a more affectionate nickname. The words seemed to sail right over Patton's head, however, as he moved both hands and held them up, showing Logan his empty palms. 

"Two." The fairy said sadly. 

Logan had no idea how to respond to that. 

"Yes?" He said, half questioningly, unsure of what to say. It was almost impossible to tell anything that was going on in the fairy's mind at the moment. 

His response proved unhelpful, as Patton's eyes became watery, and his lip quivered as he openly, though silently, cried. He moved his hands back, staring down at them. 

Well. Time to call for help. 

It took some coercion to separate Roman from whatever project he had undertaken in the carriage, but at least Logan's urgency on the matter spurred Virgil into action. The mage spotted his now-sobbing love and immediately moved to his side, kneeling down next to the hammock. 

"Hey Pat," he murmured, gently so as not to startle the other. "What's wrong sweetheart?" 

Patton neglected to move his head this time, sniffling and repeating the heartbroken "Two," as if that was the answer alone. Virgil took this to mean he wanted to hold hands, but when he reached for both, Patton held them farther away from him, only allowing Virgil to take one. 

Ah.  

Logan couldn't help the fond smile, although he did try very hard to restrain his laughter. Roman gave the scholar a look, and Logan put a hand behind the Prince's back, moving them both closer to the upset fairy. 

Maneuvering himself so that Logan was in between his two currently sober loves, Logan gestured for Roman to take Patton's empty, outstretched hand. 

The prince made another face when this seemed to upset Patton even more, but Logan paid him no mind. Instead, the scholar gently took hold of either side of the fairy's face, and bent just slightly to touch their foreheads together. 

The tears stopped almost instantly, Patton closing his eyes and seeming to calm, although his breaths were still heavy and watery. 

"Easy, starlight. Deep breaths." He said softly, closing his own eyes, running his thumbs tenderly across the apples of Patton's cheeks.

"Hey Lo? Wanna fill us in here?" Virgil asked after a few minutes of silence. Logan smiled once more, brushing noses with Patton and eliciting a hiccup and pleased little hum. 

"Our dear heart only has two hands, and there are three of us, creating quite a dilemma indeed." Logan said, fondness and just a touch of sarcasm lacing his words. 

Both prince and mage then burst into their own snickering. 

Poor Patton would never live this down.

[virgils-screams]

I Can't Believe It | Moxiety

I wanted something sweet - so here we are :)

TW: tooth rotting fluff (or an attempt at it)

_______________________________________________

"I can't believe this is about to happen." Virgil paced back and forth in front of Logan, chewing at the corner of his thumbnail.

"You believe a hundred different scenarios of the lunch line at school, and yet, somehow it's unfathomable to be considering a confession of your love for Patton?" Logans eyebrows crinkled in confusion, adjusting their glasses carefully, as if still searching for an answer to his rhetorical query.

Virgil paused, glaring at him, shifting his weight before clearing his throat. "I've... Never done this before, Logan." He stepped closer. "What-what if Pat says no? I mean I'm nothing like him! I'm like his polar opposite? He's all sunshine and puppies! And-and I'm gloomy and-"

"Kitties?" Logan supplied, earning a pause, Virgil pausing and staring at them as if someone turned him off. Virgil laughed at the response, crossing his arms.

"How'd you get there, genius?" The amusement in his eyes was hidden under faux annoyance.

Logan smiled at that. "You were naming things you liked; Patton likes sunshine, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 puppies." Virgil nodded, waiting for them to elaborate. "And you like gloom and cats, however it did not ryhme, so I used kitties instead."

Virgils shoulders visibly relaxed, the tension in his shoulders melting away, even if only slightly. Virgil nodded in understanding, finally finding rest in his desk chair. Patton would be here soon, wanting to know why Virgil asked him to his house no doubt- and then, Virgil would bring him to his room and break the news. Patton was never one to shame others for their likes and intrests, it was the deciding factor of this visit. No matter what, Patton would understand, he'd be sweet, considerate. It was almost like it was against his nature to wish any ill will on a person.

Logan stood up, the light from the window covered the rooms floor, casting shadows of the furniture, and leaving the room with an orange glow. Grabbing their book bag, they walked to Virgils doorway, flipping on the light before it was too dark to see.

"I promised I would be at family dinner, so I better get going." They stated, turning to look at Virgil before they left. "And Virgil, no matter what, Patton will not ridicule you. I can assure that." Logan hoped they were encouraging to their friend as they crossed the threshold out into the hallway, Virgil just hummed in response, no doubt anxiety eating away in his stomach.

--

"Coming!" Virgil called, trying to remain calm as he made his way to the front door, breathing a few deep breaths before opening it. "Pat, hi!" He opened the door wider, stepping to the side to allow Patton to enter.

Patton's eyes lit up, smiling brightly. "Heya, Virgie!" Patton stepped inside, turning to face Virgil expectantly. It really didn't matter why he was here, as long as he got to hang out with Virgil. Virgil was a sight to behold, his hair messy from his hands running through it every few minutes, his eyes beautifully accentuated by his dark eye shadow, freckles trying to pop out from underneath his pale foundation. Virgil was absolutely adorable.

Virgils eyes darted around nervously, closing the door with trembling hands. He returned the big grin with his own small one. Patton was wearing overalls with a bunch of different patches that the group had bought to give him, a brown T-shirt underneath it, underneath the outer layer- a comfy space jacket that Patton borrowed (stole) from Logan. His glasses rested lopsided on the bridge of his nose, his bright blue orbs staring at Virgil happily- Patton was just the epitome of precious.

"I uh, let's go to my room first." Virgil fidgeted with a loose string on his patched jacket, leading Patton to the bedroom, nerves trying to claw up his throat, threatening to clamp his jaw shut as Patton sat down on his bed.

"Okie dokey, now what?" Patton giggled, hands folding in his lap as he waited patiently for his friend to continue.

Virgil swallowed hard, leg bouncing while he sat in his desk chair. Patton noticed and frowned. "What's wrong?"

Virgil sighed, adjusting the collar of his jacket while he shifted in his seat. "Well, nothings wrong, not really, I just uh.." He trailed off, nerves getting the better of him.

Pattons frown lightened, and he leaned in towards Virgil, carefully assessing him. "You alright there, kiddo?" He softly asked, concern hiding at the edges of his voice.

"Well, it's just- I uh.. Have something to tell you, something that I have wanted to for a real long time." He nervously got out, finally looking Patton in the eye.

Patton smiled reassuringly, a softness in his eyes, a warmth, that made him keep going.

"I-" he took a deep breath. "I have had a crush on you for a while now and I just wanted to let you know." He rushed out, wiping his hands on his ripped jeans, averting his gaze.

Patton stilled in his seat, frozen in shock maybe? Or horror. Honestly it's understandable, one of your closest friends just admitted to having feelings for you and- and that's a make or break type deal, like the weight of a building putting strain on the friendship when he rejects him-

Patton giggled once, unable to stop the fit that followed suit. Subsequently tearing Virgil from his spiral. "Uh.. Pat?" He hesitated, looking over at Patton who was grinning so wide you would think his face would split.

"Im-im sorry Virge, I just- I'm just so 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮! " he responded giddily.

Virgil sunk in his seat, accepted the rejection- wait, happy? He perked up in his seat. "Wait, do you mean-"

"Yes," Patton nodded, pulling Virgil up from his chair. "I've had a crush on you too, Virge." He whispered, locking his arms around Virgils neck loosely. He stared up at the purple haired boy, a grin almost permanently etched into his features. "I've had a crush on you since forever ago." He muttered sweetly, Virgil still wide eyed in his arms.

Finally, Virgil came back to his senses, a blush dusting his cheeks while his arms finally hugged Patton. "I can't believe it." Virgil breathed in disbelief.

Patton got up on his tippy-toes, and pressed a quick kiss to Virgils cheek. "Well, you'll have a lot of time for it to settle in, Virgie, and I'll be here when you do."

Virgil smiled and nodded, looking into Patton's eyes. "Yeah.. I like the sound of that." He whispered, leaning down and placing a small kiss for Patton's nose, earning him a light chuckle.

_______________________________________________

Hope you enjoyed 💜

Words: 1106

Tag list {you can ask to be added or removed}:

@reiney-weather @helloidkwhatimdoing-0 @autumnpleaves @hedgiehoggles @emo-sunshine42 @sky-the-weirdo-ace @from-the-gall0ws @skylar-pansexualnerd19

[candied-peach]

ao3: “so tired of being scared” rating: T warnings: moxiety, background LAMP, past child abuse, crying, implied self harm, virgil is nonbinary and has ptsd genre: hurt/comfort description: Virgil is having a hard time when Patton comes home. (day 24: “One need not be a chamber to be haunted. One need not be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place.” — Emily Dickinson @tsshipmonth2020 )

Virgil scrunches himself deeper into the detritus of his closet. His breathing hitches, jittery but still quiet. The house is silent, painfully so. Fear claws up his throat, painting his esophagus with adrenaline. His ears echo with the ghosts of long gone yelling, of harsh remarks and the sensation of fingers biting into his arms.

It's okay, he tells himself, balled into a corner, his arms wrapped around his knees and hidden by the stuff in his closet. The stuff in his closet should help- it is pretty shirts, dresses, and skirts, for the most part, nothing like the stiff and starched 'boy clothes' of his childhood- but he can't seem to see them properly.

It's okay, it was a long time ago, he thinks, but his breathing is too harsh and too loud and he can feel tears threatening to burst free. If they do, he can't guarantee he'll stay quiet.

The front door opens and Virgil freezes, his heart thudding into his ribs. The footsteps are soft, not loud, but all he can hear is the booming footsteps of his youth, coming for him. He's gonna be in so much trouble, some tiny part of his mind yammers at him, and the first choked, broken sob breaks free, no matter how hard he bites his fingers.

The humming he can't quite hear cuts off abruptly, and the footsteps come closer.

"Virgil?" It's Patton. "Virgil, are you all right?"

He wants to answer, desperately needs to answer, but he can't make himself speak. His vocal cords won't work. Another sob escapes and he bites his fingers harder, as if they can prevent the cruel fingers of the past from seizing him round the ankles and dragging him into hell.

The closet door opens, and Virgil whimpers, scrunching himself back against the wall like it can swallow him whole.

"Oh, Virge," Patton whispers. Virgil stares at him with wide, fearful eyes, his mind whispering softly, sweetly terrible things into his ears. Patton disappears for a moment, then comes back with a teddy bear. It's lavender, with a multicolored bow tied around its neck, and it smells of lavender, too. Patton presses them into Virgil's arms, where the soothing scent slowly unscrunches Virgil.

"Patton?" Virgil asks hoarsely, his fingers compulsively petting the bear's contours. He never had a bear like this growing up. This bear is soft and well loved and clean. This bear smells of lavender and love. All of his boyfriends helped him choose its design. This bear represents safety, and it brings new tears to Virgil's eyes.

"Yes, love, I'm here," Patton says softly, encouraging Virgil to come out of the closet. He scoots his way out, various aches and pains asserting themselves with a vengeance, and falls into Patton's lap.

"Bad day?" Patton asks. Virgil nods, burying his face in Patton's chest.

"Do you want to talk about it or do you want a distraction?" Patton asks.

"Distraction," Virgil says at once. Patton asked wordlessly if he'd like to get up, and Virgil nodded, wrapping his legs around Patton's waist as Patton lifted him up easily, carrying him into the living room, the teddy bear squashed between them.

"Roman and Logan will be home soon with dinner," Patton says. "Until then, would you like to watch cartoons?"

"Sure," Virgil says, as Patton settles them both on the couch. Virgil remains in Patton's lap, resting his head on Patton's shoulder as he aimlessly plays with the ears of his teddy bear. The lavender scent is still soothing.

"I love you," Virgil says suddenly. "I- I'm glad that-" He takes a deep breath. "I'm glad that I found out life's not just...that."

"Me, too, love," Patton whispers. "Me, too."

[sanders-sides-elliot]

I think you'd like this story: "The emo and the nerd(Pollysanders/Lamp) " by _killjoy_mcr on Wattpad https://www.wattpad.com/story/338067391?utm_source=android&utm_medium=com.tumblr&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create&wp_uname=_killjoy_mcr&wp_originator=GRV1y%2FAanhsD8kfrMbqKajto%2FZfkouSv%2FJXq4%2FF8BtIF%2BaBXcfFaaXlZzMpYfy2pu%2BVS1iK6ZsiiILlZY8wdE94aPGG1e0PLwus6PtXAOpRbFO4gAknM4n0RLvkHycU4

[groovyghostie]

Oh, Cruel Hand of Death, Still Before You Reach His Head

A/N: a lil plot bunny that decided to bounce around in my head. I'll probably cross-post to AO3. It's angsty, mind the tags. Also not edited and probably not my best work, but I like it

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationship(s): Patton & Virgil (written platonically, but you can interpret it however you want)

CW: death and grief, necromancy, decay, talk of violence, murder, massacres, mentions of a dead body part, mentions of blood, self-sacrifice

Let me know if I should tag anything else, fic under the cut

Virgil could have anything he wanted. That was the whole point, right? He knew he would be able to have anything he wanted when he finished, and what he'd wanted was his best friend back. But now... Of course, he still wanted Patton back. He'd been devastated when-... Well, he almost died of grief.

The problem was that Virgil would have to give up everything to have him back. He'd already given so much of himself away, bits and pieces, one at a time. A moral stance here, a bit of flesh there, it was what he had to do to bring Patton back to him. He'd committed atrocities left and right, commanded an army of the undead to destroy the kingdom that took-... To tear that damn regent to shreds. He often wondered if the young princess had seen. Before he lost control of his emotions, at least. He was pretty sure there were no survivors.

He'd killed the strongest knights and heroes just to have them in his army, embued them with more magic than the rest to make them stronger, more intelligent. He'd marched his army across the continent in search of anything, any information at all that might lead him to an answer. How could he bring someone back intact?

When he finally found the spell, he cried and cried. But there were no tears. He'd given those up long ago. Then he read the components. One finger of an ancient hero, easy. One vial of blood from a freshly dead man, easy. The strongest poison the caster is capable of making, piece of cake. The caster's soul.

Would Virgil even be able to enjoy having Patton back without his soul? Would he be able to dance around with him, just to be silly? To roll his eyes at his puns? Would he be able to play with his hair and feel anything at all? Virgil didn't know if he was capable of such selflessness anymore, to give up the last vestiges of his humanity.

The epiphany came as he was pacing in circles around the mausoleum that the spellbook was entombed in. It didn't matter. Losing any of those things didn't matter. Because Patton deserved life more than him. Patton had done nothing wrong. Virgil had... He'd done awful things, and somewhere along the way, he'd stopped regretting them. He set about gathering the components he would need.

It took two days to get everything squared away. It took practically no time to make the potion, he already had the finger, and the blood was a minor inconvenience to get, at most. He marched his army to the middle of nowhere, commanded them to attack no more humans, a command that would remain in place, and then disconnected his skeletal soldiers from himself. They would wander, now. He supposed that was better than being six feet under. Maybe.

The spell was so ridiculously simple to cast. Place the finger on a rock, sprinkle the mixture of blood and potion on top, then... offer up your soul. Virgil did the first two steps slowly and deliberately. He didn't want to mess this up, and. And he was reluctant to go through with the final part.

Finally, he gathered all of his resolve and intent, and then poured it into removing his soul from his body. When he saw his soul, he wasn't surprised. It was shriveled, small, and black. It looked rotted. How appropriate. "I offer up my soul," he said simply.

There was a flash of light, and when Virgil opened his eyes, there was Patton. He certainly looked worse for wear, but he was alive and still had that spark in his eyes. Virgil remembered wanting that to remain so badly. He didn't want anything anymore, though.

Patton looked around in confusion. When his eyes settled on Virgil, he recoiled. Fair enough. Virgil had expected that. And it didn't hurt, which he supposed was probably a plus. Turns out giving up your soul makes the hard stuff so much easier.

Recognition dawned on Patton's face. "Virgil?" he asked slowly.

Virgil nodded numbly, then gave a little wave. Before, he would have worried about whether or not that looked stupid. Weird.

Patton looked around, a horrified expression on his face. Virgil should feel distressed, right? He should be distressed?

"I'm sorry," Virgil said. He wasn't. "But... it worked. You're back."

Patton recoiled again. After a moment, he began to stammer, but it turned into a coherent question eventually. "What did you do, Virgil?"

Virgil tilted his head. "I brought you back. Whatever it took."

Patton furrowed his brow. "You're not acting like yourself."

Virgil shook his head. "I traded my soul for you. And I don't regret it. Although, I can't really regret anything..."

Patton began to tear up. "Oh, Virgil," he lamented. Virgil just watched.

After a few hours, when the sun peeked over the horizon, Patton led Virgil back to the nearest town. They didn't speak through the whole walk. Virgil didn't care to, and Patton seemed too upset.

Everyone was afraid of Virgil, which was not ideal for Patton, who was holding his hand. He finally got someone to listen to him, and they brought them to the inn and explained the situation. The innkeeper offered to let them stay for a while.

"Maybe things will be okay," said Patton.

Virgil had a thought that would have upset him before: 'It won't be okay. Not with me around.'

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Before I Go

Summary: Remus doesn't have a lot of time left, but he wants to give living his best shot anyway, and that includes fixing things with someone he never thought he'd see again.

Author's Note: Hi, yeah, if you couldn't tell from the death and noncon tags, this isn't exactly going to be a happy one. No false pretenses here, characters will die, nothing is fixed except for the things the characters fix themselves with their bare hands. That is not to say there is no hope involved, this is a story by me after all, but don't expect all good feelings from the ending.

Honestly I blame Rent. I saw Rent for the first time and it fucked. me. up. (positive), so I had to make my own catharsis. If you're looking for something to be mad at, be mad at the Rent musical. It's not my fault. Except for all of the ways that it totally is.

Anyway enjoy!

AO3 Link

Chapter One:

It is 3:00 on a Wednesday morning and Remus is hacking blood into the sink.  Janus woke up when he leapt out of bed and followed him into the bathroom, and is now rubbing his back, obviously just as exhausted as Remus is.  He has told Remus to shut up the few times that he’s actually tried to apologize, so even if Remus could speak around the blood coming out of his mouth, he wouldn’t say anything.  Or maybe he’d say “I love you.”  Because he does, he loves Janus so much sometimes it hurts almost as much as the actual physical pain that’s coming with the stupid blood he’s coughing up.

He manages a couple gasping breaths in between coughs, but he’s still weak in the knees by the time everything stops and he’s leaning his weight on the edge of the sink.

“Everything done coming out?” Janus murmurs from behind him.

“Never,” Remus says weakly.  “I’m gay, Janus.”

“Not at three in the goddamn morning, Remus,” Janus says, reaching out and pulling Remus’ arm over his shoulder.  He leads him to the toilet and helps him sit down, then heads back to the cabinet under the sink and pulls out disposable gloves and a washcloth.

He spends the next ten minutes wiping the blood from Remus’ mouth like he’s a toddler who got mush all over his face, and Remus is too exhausted to even feel embarrassed.  Finally, Janus helps him up and supports them both back over to the bed, then heads over to the other side of the room and grabs the bucket they’ve kept here since the coughing up blood started.  He sets it on the nightstand next to Remus and climbs into bed, immediately wrapping his arms around Remus from behind and starting to run a hand through his hair.

“I love you,” Remus murmurs, not having the strength to turn around.  Janus just hums in acknowledgement and replies “Go to sleep, Remus,” sounding halfway there himself.

Remus, however, lays there with his eyes open, despite the exhaustion begging him to shut his eyes.

This isn’t the first time he’s woken up in the middle of the night to cough up blood.  It is, however, becoming more common, and Remus is beginning to dread the day he’ll have to move into a hospital full time.  The idea is nauseating for more reasons than the actual nausea in his stomach.  Hospitals mean round-the-clock care from nurses who won’t stop looking at him like dying is his fault.  It means restricted access to Janus.  It means he’s that much closer to actual death.

And yes, he and Janus had agreed to focus on something else until it’s impossible to do so.  Remus doesn’t want to wander around like he’s already a ghost.  He wants to continue living while he’s still around to do it.  They cook fancy dinners and Remus writes songs, writes stories, kisses Janus until he can’t breathe.  They go to bars and drag shows and spray paint slogans on the side of the highway.  Remus refuses to die before he’s dead.

But this is the third time this month he’s coughed up blood, and one of these days he’s going to ruin the sheets.

Remus pulls himself gently out of Janus’ arms, and shushes him with gentle reassurances when Janus shifts and starts to wake up again.

Thankfully, Janus is tired enough to fall back asleep.  Remus looks down at him for a second before heading out of the bedroom, through the hallway, past the living room, and into the kitchen of their tiny ass apartment.

He picks up the phone and stands for a minute, listening to the dial tone as he catches his breath from the short walk from the bedroom.  Finally, he dials, pushing and pulling his finger in and out of the wound up cord as he does.  It’s only as he hits the last number that he remembers it’s three in the morning, but he also doesn’t care.

The phone rings four times, and Remus has almost resigned himself to leaving a “see ya, I’m dying” voicemail when someone picks up.

…

Roman hadn’t been excited to be woken up by a phone going off in the middle of the night since it had meant a snow day, but tonight was an especially bad one.  He was laying in bed in the t-shirt and boxers he’d pulled on in order to not have to sleep naked, curled up on the opposite side of the mattress from Clarissa.  He’d wanted to wait to process thoughts until he could get up and shower the next morning and shove all of last night into a box in the back of his head.

But then he was woken up by the ringing phone, and he groaned, rolled over in bed and buried his head back in the pillow.

“I’ve got it,” said Clarissa, who was much more awake than he was at any time of day.  She climbed out of bed and walked towards the kitchen, leaving the bedroom door open in her wake.

Roman vaguely heard her say something about “what is the meaning of this do you know what time it is” before he slipped back into sleep.

Unfortunately, it seemed Clarissa wasn’t able to handle it, because suddenly Roman was waking up again to her shaking his shoulder.

Roman jerked upright into a sloppy resemblance of a seating position and looked blearily at Clarissa.  Her mouth was pressed tight into a line and her face showed barely concealed disgust.  Roman was about to ask her what was the matter and why she looked like that, but then she answered both questions at once.

“It’s your brother,” she said, pointing behind her back towards the kitchen.

Roman blinked a couple of times, trying to make sense of her sentence.  “Calling at three in the morning?” he managed.

Clarissa just nodded, lips pursed.

Roman shook his head a couple times to try and wake himself up, then pulled himself out from under the covers, headed out through the living room and over towards the kitchen.  If it was Remus, and Clarissa hadn’t hung up on him as soon as she realized, that meant it was bad.

Roman picked up the phone from where it had been laid on the counter and put it up to his ear.  “Remus?”

“Roman, hey,” Remus said.  His voice sounded rough, like he’d swallowed sandpaper, which, knowing Remus, was very possible.

“Remus,” Roman repeated, trying to gather up some sort of disgust or anger in case Clarissa was listening from the other room.  It wasn’t that hard, it was the middle of the night and Remus had called him out of nowhere.  “What the hell are you calling me for?”

Remus was silent for a second, which was so unusual that Roman looked down at the phone, almost concerned.  “Remus?”

“So uh,” Remus said, and suddenly his voice sounded weak, which was definitely not like Remus, and now Roman was actually concerned.  “You know how you always said being openly gay was gonna get me killed one day?”

“What?”

“Well, you were, um, you were right.  Just… not in the way you thought.”

Roman gripped the phone tighter.  “Remus, what’s going on?”

Remus was quiet for another moment.

“…I’m dying,” he whispered finally.

Roman squeezed the phone so hard he heard it squeak in his hand.  “When?”

“Couple months, probably.”

Neither of them said anything for a minute, instead standing there listening to each other breathe through the phone.

“Roman?” Remus said finally, and Roman hated the shake he heard in his voice.

“Yeah?” Roman whispered.

“Can you come here?  Please?”

“Where are you?” Roman said before he really thought it through.

“New York.”

Roman huffed a laugh.  “Yeah.  Yeah, that… that makes sense.”

“I’ll give you the address.”

Roman grabbed a pen and paper and wrote it down as Remus said it to him.  “I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he said.  “Probably later this week.”

“Thanks,” Remus said, and his voice was still shaking and Roman wanted it to stop.

“Remus,” Roman said, but stopped after that when he realized he didn’t have anything else to say.

Remus was quiet for a minute, then seemed to realize this too.  “I’ll see you,” he said, and hung up.

Roman pressed the phone to his forehead and listened to the dial tone.

“You’re going?”

Roman squeezed his eyes shut without moving.  “He’s my brother, Clarissa.”

“Since when?”

“I don’t know,” Roman said.  He’d say something about ‘since now, since he just told me he was dying,’ but that would be a lie, because Roman was pretty sure Remus had never stopped being his brother.  No matter what he’d said to their parents.

“Roman,” Clarissa said, and Roman heard her footsteps walking forward and he did not want her to touch him right now.

He turned and walked quickly past her, back towards their bedroom.

“Roman!” Clarissa said, starting after him.

Roman went straight for their closet and pulled out a suitcase, then dragged it over to their dresser and pulled open drawers, starting to shove clothing inside.

Clarissa’s voice came from the doorway a second later.  “Roman, I think you’re being a little ridiculous.”

“I’m being ridiculous?” Roman snapped, turning to glare at Clarissa, which seemed to surprise her.

She recovered quickly.  “Yes!  You’re rushing off like it’s the end of the world!”

“He’s dying, Clarissa,” Roman said, standing and realizing in a way he often didn’t that he was several inches taller than her.

Clarissa rolled her eyes.  “Well, whose fault is that?”

Roman’s eyes widened slightly, though he wasn’t actually that surprised.  He still didn’t say anything though, just stared at Clarissa for a couple seconds.

Eventually, she seemed to find it a little uncomfortable, and took a step back.  “What, am I wrong?” she asked, trying to glare up at Roman and falling short.

Roman just looked at her for another second.  “Shame on you,” he said quietly, and this time Clarissa’s eyes widened in what was an obvious shock.

Roman turned and started packing again.

...

Chapter Two

[holdnarrytight]

Fic recs please?? Anyone???

Platonic moxiety

Romantic or platonic logicality and prinxiety

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

ok that selkie thing but its roman as the 1st sister, remus as the 2nd sister, and patton as the 3rd sister (tho that can be changed depending on the pairings lol)

i could see so many pairing ideas for that, but personally i kind of like it as roceit (janus would absolutely have a gothic castle), intrulogical (marine biologist logan!), and moxiety akdjdl

(this is not a fic request just me ranting abt the idea of that post lol)

asalskdjalkdjaljkdlah thats note perfect casting right there