#I just need some sleep or smn and I will be fine this is all probably the sleep deprivation talking rn

[rizzmin]

The things that are happening rn lmao

[sweetchildcloud]

Hii! I saw that your requests were open so here I am :]

I was wondering if you could do something with gojo and geto taking care of their s/o who maybe got badly injured during a mission or smn

feel free to ignore it baby<3

||Don't die|| written by me

🔞 Gojo x reader/Geto x reader| Minors DNI| TRIGGER WARNING 🔞

Tags:Blood,comfort,hospital(Gojo),injuries,bandages,healing,cussing(Geto),

i'm no english native so sorry for some mistakes

P.s:sorry if i made it too angstu but i hope you like it anon!

please reblog 🔁 and like❤️

Edit:sorry sweetie I think I got carried away in Geto's part :p

@muzansslxt @candy69gurl @kiwicopia

Gojo

You waked up in a hospital room with tubes everywhere. Satoru is sitting next to the bed with his hands clasped on top of his knees. There's a vase full of flowers that probably were sent from friends and family members of you. A ring on his finger. There's no one else in the room. You're alone.

"How are you feeling?" Satoru asks, looking at you with a worried face. His clear blue eyes look like oceans that want to drown you with it's depths. Satoru is gorgeous.

flashes of the battled runned trough your head you hissed "like i almost died…?"

"You were bleeding a lot, you could still be dying. The doctor said you're stable but we have to wait a little more.." He sighs. It seems like he's the one that is going to fall apart from anxiety soon. Satoru doesn't know what he would do without you.

The silence between you two becomes uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry.." His voice breaks a little. Satoru swallows his tears.

"it's fine..you're fine no?" You jolted as you felt a sharp pain were the curse hitted you "it was worth it no?"

Satoru's hands are rubbing gently your forehead to relieve you from your pain. He seems to want to do more but he holds himself back. The hand of your uninjured arm feels so strong, as he holds it to his chest.

"I'm fine, now that you're fine." He sighs with relief because you're smiling a little. But the worry on his face gets worse with your pain.

"You killed the special grade… You're such a badass. Was it worth it?" His voice is lower than usual.

"I.." You swallow. The pain. The blood. The scars. The memory of the mission. He doesn't need to know all of those details. This moment is already painful enough. You bite your lip.

"I don't regret anything."

Satoru seems satisfied. He's still worried. Yet he's smiling. The grip of his hand increases. He wants to hold you to him so bad. He wants to comfort you in so many ways….

"You should rest."

"I'm not tired…" You mumble.

"I know, but you need to…" He answers while playing with your thumb.

His free hand caress your head to bring you comfort. The moment between you is charged with love, intimacy.

"Go to sleep...just for a little while…" He wants to add 'in my arms' But he doesn't. He keeps caressing you, hoping you would fall asleep.

You nod. The drugs given to you make you tired and everything gets blurry, you feel relaxed. Satoru continues caressing your head, holding your hand, playing with your thumb, whispering soothing words, trying to make you rest… You can't resist. It feels so good, so warm… You fall asleep. Satoru's eyes watch you fall asleep quietly, tears falling from his eyes with relief.

He kisses your forehead, closes the blinds of the room. He sighs and finally lays on his chair next to your bed, falling asleep too.

GETO

He's careful with you, as if you're a rare and fragile piece of glass. Each movement is cautious and tender; he adjusts the pillows behind your head, the blankets around you, ensuring that you're comfortable. You lean into his touch, closing your eyes as he mumbles reassurances and gently strokes your hair. He smells of leather and earth, and his body exudes warmth. Your fingers curl in his, and you feel comforted by his presence.

You jolt as a rush of pain radietated from your bandeged wound

Geto's eyes snap open in alarm. He's by your side in an instant, studying the source of your pain. His thumb traces over the bandage covering the wound, his expression filled with concern. He's so close, his breath brushing over your skin. You look up at him, meeting his gaze. He doesn't flinch, and his eyes are full of empathy for the pain you're in.

He's gentle, but firm as he examines your wound, looking for any sign of an infection or worsening status of the injury.

"Let me see it" he says, his voice gentle. You hesitate for a moment, then nod and pull the blanket down, allowing him to examine the injury. You wince once when he probes at the bandaged area, but beyond that, the pressure of his fingers feels soothing rather than painful.

"How's the pain?" he asks after a few moments. His arms wrap tighter around you as he speaks, and you can feel the warmth of his body even through layers of blankets and pillows. "Does it feel better, or do I need to change the dressing?"

"the second…" you mumbled feeling weak a nd you trembled when the blood rushed out staining the bandages

“Don’t move” he says as he stands up, his voice a soft command that you find yourself obeying on impulse. His arms gently release their grip around you, but his fingers trail down your back as he pulls away. He crosses the room to his desk, rifling through a cabinet drawer as he grabs fresh bandages and disinfectant. Once he has everything he needs, he returns to the bed, sitting beside you and carefully removing the old bandages.

"Does it still hurt?" he asks after a time. The pressure on your body is still comforting, and his words are like a comforting presence. You nod again, and he frowns and makes a sound of distress as if he wishes he could do more for you. Without a word, he pulls you closer to himself, and you lean your head into his shoulder without even realizing it.

"Can I ask you something?" he asks. You don't notice the time slipping by as the two of you lie like this, his arm around your waist, his body radiating heat that warms you through. You nod slightly, and he sighs before starting to speak again. "I don't know why I'm so affected by seeing you hurt. I should be used to it, shouldn't I? Seeing people injured is part of my job. But with you…"

"With you it's different," he says. There's a slight rasp to his voice, and he seems to be searching for the words. "Seeing you hurt reminds me that you're not invincible. And I…" His hands tighten around you, and you can feel him squeeze you against him as if he wants to protect you from all the worlds dangers at once.

"I just hate seeing you in pain" he continues. "I know it's silly, but I want you to be safe more than anything. I want you to have a life where you don't have to worry about getting injured or hurt or sick." He pauses for a few moments, trying to collect his thoughts. "So… maybe this is me being selfish" he continues "but when you're hurt, I'm reminded of how vulnerable you are and how much it scares me."

"I know that's stupid" he adds quickly. "You're not a child that needs protecting. But I guess I just can't help it. I just…" He trails off, then shakes his head. "Just forget I said anything," he says with a wave of his hand. "It doesn't matter. You just rest up. I'll take care of you until you're better."

"no…i like it when you worry about me" You smiled weakly "it makes you..human…"

He freezes, his eyes narrowing as if he couldn't quite believe what he'd just heard. "Human?" he says slowly. "Are you saying that you think I'm normally not human?"

"you feel so cold and scary sometimes that's all but deep deep down you have a heart a beating one"

You chuckle slightly and rest your head back against his chest. "So, what now?" you ask after a minute. He gives a shrug. "Right now? You sleep. You're injured, after all."

"Right." You smile, but the truth is you don't feel very tired. Your body still aches all over, and the dull, throbbing pain from the wound is enough to keep you awake.

Still, you lean into his arms, resting your head against his shoulder. He pulls the blanket a little tighter around you, and you close your eyes, trying to relax.

"You still can't sleep" he observes quietly after a few moments. You blink at him and try to come up with an answer but find yourself coming up blank. "Yeah" you say finally "I guess I just don't think that the pain is going to let me sleep anytime soon."

"What if I give you something for the pain?" he offers. "A small dose. You'd hardly get any rest, but it would help you fall asleep now."

"i don't like needles Ru-ru" You cooed

"No need for needles" he replies, and you notice the slight smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "I'll just give you a pill."

His arms loosen around you, and then you feel his hand move around until it finds your chin. His other arm reaches over toward the dresser, and he brings a pill over to you between two fingertips. "Here, open up."

You open your mouth obediently, and he places the pill on your tongue. It tastes slightly bitter, and when he offers you some water to wash it down, you quickly down the whole glass. You sigh and close your eyes, ready to fall asleep. You can hear him shuffling around the room, presumably putting away the supplies he'd used earlier.

When he settles back in the chair beside you, you feel his arm wrap around your waist once again. "I'll be here with you until you fall asleep" he murmurs gently. "Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you."

You nod slightly and close your eyes, trying to settle yourself. The pill should be kicking in any moment now. You feel a heavy haziness envelop you, making it almost difficult to keep your eyes open. And yet still, you cling to the warmth that you feel from his arms around you.

[journal-69]

6/3/2024

6:22 pm I kinda forgot to do this for a few days, I either spent too long getting up in the morning and forgot or was rushed and didn't make the time to sit down and write. Either way that's okay, it hasn't been a crazy couple of days. On Friday only one friend showed up for Gaga night, and while I was a little disappointed because I got tons of snacks it was still fun. On Saturday I did a gaga dance class with a friend, not Lady Gaga but more shamanic energy release vibes. I was a bit late for the class and it was a veryyyy bizarre thing to walk in on but after I was able to get comfortable it was an amazing class. It was all about free movement and focusing on when and how much you are moving. It was also nonstop so it really got the body working.

After I dropped them off at the train I ran into a boy I'd been trying to plan a date with so we had a spontaneous moment and ended up walking around a lot, we walked all around Soho, the village, and the Lower East side. It was a cute vibe, he was sweet and in the end it was a fun random thing to end up stumbling into. After that, I came home for a bit and relaxed before I went up to help one of the boys I met last week with photos. He then came over, we made out, and he left to go to a friend's party. I spent my evening mending a shirt and after the party he came back over to stay the night. I could tell neither of us were getting much rest. He was fidgeting all night and because he was fidgeting I wasn't sleeping. We fucked a few times through the night but to be honest it was just fine, a little too quick for me to really get into it all.

Sunday I was exhausted and a bit depressed so I spent most of the day in bed. I didnt do too much early in the day but talked to my roomie a bit, which is nice when we actually do, I miss being her friend. In the evening I got anxious so I walked from Williamsburg to Chelsea to my friend's place to be there for a pickup for a pres thing and after that, I headed back home and did some more mending. It was a chill and secluded Sunday which was needed, though I did run into three people I knew while in the East Village on my walk.

Yesterday was definitely more challenging mentally, I think hooking up and not getting any sleep kinda had that effect on me but I really was trying to not let it overtake me.

So finally we get to today. I've been struggling with momentum to get up in the morning again so I was a bit late to get up. I'm gonna try this week again to stick to my alarms and make myself get up. I ended up preparing and pleating the fabric for a skirt I'm working on which took a good few hours, altered a pattern for a new design, and made a list of things I need to get done for my collection. I kinda just snacked on crap all day, I think I am gonna try to find a way to eat less sweets or smn cause I've been craving them a lot. I also want to actually make the move to work out more, with the stuff I have been doing with my friend, yoga and dance, I am def getting somewhere but I think I gotta work on my strength and all that other fitness stuff. I want to feel healthy in my body and see those results. Anywho to round out the night I'm getting din/drinks with my longest friend who I haven't seen in a while which will be a nice moment to connect cause we've both had so many changes!

I think tomorrow I'll be a lil more emotion and less timeline, sometimes you gotta just write down what happens.

[just-some-random-blogger]

hello, lovie!! its not during the day for you but i really needed to sleep for a bit. its either gonna be really long and have more than 2 parts or really short (not likely). 'matt like mumbling' he!! hes the least understandable person in hotd for me. i love you man but can you like.. SPEAK.. open your mouth yk. hope youll watch the episode. 'T_T Спасибо, любимый' cute but its a masculine form.. one friend calls me that while joking TT Всё нормально, дорогая. 'I ALREADY LOOKED UP THE LYRICS AND GOT THE ROMANIZED RUSSIA' omg its so sweet of you TT so. im listing my fav songs so you can just choose whatever youre comfortable with. my ultimate bias is '24/7' by the neighbourhood but it has rap. but ive got a feeling that your magnificent voiced sound so good in this. 'the lighthouse' and 'honey' (idk it also has some kind of rap? not really but yeah. im that kind of person fr) by halsey. ive seen you dooing some kpop covers so if youre ever interested i think youd sound great in 'she's fine' by heize. oh and ive just found 'why do you love me' by charlotte lawrence but ive been listening to minnies cover. ohoh and. have you ever seen steven universe? it has great songs no matter what (i havent watched the last seasons so cant say anything). so 'love like you' and 'here comes a thought' are soso AAAH. maybe youll like them. thats all ig. tbh, id love to see whatever cover you make! bc youre just the most pretty and talented hottie-cutie and i luvluv you <з 'this is how i feel about music' ooh its good to know! well-well im 18 and im studying slavic philology. yk passion for.. just language. dull but still. 'i wanted to write it but now i dont' omg beauty idk how i can help you TT hope youll make it out. no matter if youll manage to write it or decide not to. 'i think you mean your are ok with yourself getting hurt' well i didnt mean it but not gonna say its completely wrong. i meant this more in a.. sarcastic way? a fake joy of ruining my life. here we have a culture of death and depression related jokes and sarcasm and so on. the pressing environment. it sounds awful but.. were all so mentally ill its DREADFUL but funny) 'idk what i feel about the nickname' i meant it in a 'good person' way but if youre uncomfortable with it, im sorry. the bread eating tradition is actually from the ancient Rus ig? but nvm its become stronger after the wwII bc of the lack of bread during it. now 1) lots of teens says against this culture bc now we have enough food and they say its outdated 2) a culture of healthy eating is strong and twisted a bit? a lot of people dont eat bread to not gain weight. i just dont like bread so much to eat it with everything. 'DAMN WITH NO RICE' yeah were criminals. well its not really an equivalent of flan but it reminds it in a way. 'запеканка' literally means a thing that is baked?.. its usually made with the cottage cheese or the shortbread and then literally anything a person can think of. idk whos nada... but ill definately watch this vid later! give me more english vids with some social themes pls. 'ok for me not to feel that much feelings at all towards nada' yeah ig thats it? tbh tolerance is a little overrated?.. ik how it sounds but hear me out. maybe its just me but preferring something or smn with privileges over smth or smn without those very privileges seems not so right nowadays no matter what is the reason? as not liking a woman arouses a question about being a sexist while not liking a man isnt discussed and everyone understands why. i know why its like this but im not gonna continue, its going to be long. you have a right to not feel strong feelings when you dont feel them. its simple. it doesnt matter if its a male or female character. we all are too determined about our sexes? ok but im not continuing THIS definately. ig ill answer to why you love that issue the most in the next part. and i want to discuss smth else about discrimination. so! have a nice morning/day/evening, see you in the next part!

Hello baby!!!

i appreciate the fact the person put the kitties in the towel/blanket.

its not during the day for you but i really needed to sleep for a bit. its either gonna be really long and have more than 2 parts or really short (not likely).

you should ONLY send me asks when its day FOR YOU 😡🤺 pls take care of yourself T_T i dont mind waiting T_T

'matt like mumbling' he!! hes the least understandable person in hotd for me. i love you man but can you like.. SPEAK.. open your mouth yk. hope youll watch the episode.

LOLAHSKHASLFHKLAHSFHSAFHFH FOUL poor matty T_T BUT NAH UR SO RIGHT he be mumblin but i love him we still love him HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OPEN YOUR MOUTH BOY i'll try to watch it

'T_T Спасибо, любимый' cute but its a masculine form.. one friend calls me that while joking TT Всё нормально, дорогая.

i didnt know you have fem/masc form of words O.O mind blown. i checked the translation and apparently it became darling? i typed my love actually so thats on google translate. it seems like something a friend would do HAHAHAH

'I ALREADY LOOKED UP THE LYRICS AND GOT THE ROMANIZED RUSSIA' omg its so sweet of you TT so.

idk if i;ll ever sing it but i do like that song

im listing my fav songs so you can just choose whatever youre comfortable with. my ultimate bias is '24/7' by the neighbourhood but it has rap. but ive got a feeling that your magnificent voiced sound so good in this.

but theres no rap here? the verses just are quite monotonous or they dont sing in a wide range of notes. rap usually are atonal meaning they dont have a pitch its like talking but with rhythm. it's a fine song. i like the neighbourhood. i now know what kind of songs you gravitate to

'the lighthouse' and 'honey' (idk it also has some kind of rap? not really but yeah. im that kind of person fr) by halsey.

i listened to lighthouse! i like it exponentially more that the first song because of its grit. it kind of has a rock vibe, which i enjoy. i havent listened to halsey in a long time so you've made me like her again. random fact i was so freaked out by her name when i first encountered her T_T because i couldn't read it as any other way than ashley (which is what her name is an anagram of) idk i think i have mild dyslexia. i listened to honey too! i like it as well but i like lighthouse the most because THE GRIT 😩 but i could do this one too. halsey be talkin about thighs and being mean HAHHAHA kinky HAHAHAHAh thank you for reviving my interest in halsey btw none of these songs have raps babe

ive seen you dooing some kpop covers so if youre ever interested i think youd sound great in 'she's fine' by heize.

pls why would you watch my old videos T_T its cringe cos i didnt have equipment yet at the time. id rather not do a kpop cover because im very concerned about pronouncing words wrong. also the song is just fine to me HAHAHAH like its title. i will do lighthouse then HAHAHH gimme a few days to learn it. im also editing 2 songs so i can finally post it. i recorded yesterday. i hope you like it when i show it to you. i wont link it anymore since you have my youtube so i hope you subbed and put notifs on HAHAHH

oh and ive just found 'why do you love me' by charlotte lawrence but ive been listening to minnies cover. ohoh and.

this sounds so much like so happy together by the turtles . i like it shes like fine shes toxic HAHAHAHHA we love that in art HAHHAAH shes quite monotonous too so yeah its fine

have you ever seen steven universe? it has great songs no matter what (i havent watched the last seasons so cant say anything). so 'love like you' and 'here comes a thought' are soso AAAH. maybe youll like them. thats all ig.

i know steven universe. I listened 'love like you' AND I LOVE THE SONG SO MUCH but i would have to do the instrumentals and if i dont the song would be ruined and the instrumentals are so sweet i might mess it up idk. i like the second song too, here comes a thought, but the first one is so much nicer to me. maybe because the performer is better in the first one.

tbh, id love to see whatever cover you make! bc youre just the most pretty and talented hottie-cutie and i luvluv you <з

aw thank you baby T_T

'this is how i feel about music' ooh its good to know!

<3

well-well im 18 and im studying slavic philology. yk passion for.. just language. dull but still.

WOW I HAD TO LOOK UP WHAT PHILOLOGY IS THATS SO COOL ITS NOT DULL AT ALL om ur 18 T_T ur a baby T_T ur a literal child T_T my goodness T_T T_T T_T i feel kinda weird now T_T for interacting with someone thats about my younger brothers age online T_T my child my goodness

'i wanted to write it but now i dont' omg beauty idk how i can help you TT hope youll make it out. no matter if youll manage to write it or decide not to.

HAHAAH I MEANT I WANT TO WRITE IT BUT NOT ANYMORE AT THE MOMENT it happens HAHAHH but i still will write the fic dont worry

'i think you mean your are ok with yourself getting hurt' well i didnt mean it but not gonna say its completely wrong. i meant this more in a.. sarcastic way? a fake joy of ruining my life. here we have a culture of death and depression related jokes and sarcasm and so on. the pressing environment. it sounds awful but.. were all so mentally ill its DREADFUL but funny)

ah i see. i have friends who joke about death/dying a lot but i never like it nor do i condone it as the designated mom friend so pls i know its a joke but dont be so ok with it.

'idk what i feel about the nickname' i meant it in a 'good person' way but if youre uncomfortable with it, im sorry.

NO WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING I JUST SAID IDK WHAT I FEEL ABOUT IT ITS NOT UNCOMFY ITS JUST LIKE ??? IDK WHAT I FEEL ABOUT IT STOP APOLOGIZING 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

the bread eating tradition is actually from the ancient Rus ig? but nvm its become stronger after the wwII bc of the lack of bread during it. now 1) lots of teens says against this culture bc now we have enough food and they say its outdated 2) a culture of healthy eating is strong and twisted a bit? a lot of people dont eat bread to not gain weight. i just dont like bread so much to eat it with everything.

ahhhh i see. wwii L. diet culture is ulTRA MEGA L. i love bread but not just like plain bread. i understand what you mean about bread. i mean love the possibilities you could have with bread. you can make it toast you can eat it with hot choco you can make a sandwich YUM but bread < rice lol

'DAMN WITH NO RICE' yeah were criminals.

well its not really an equivalent of flan but it reminds it in a way. 'запеканка' literally means a thing that is baked?.. its usually made with the cottage cheese or the shortbread and then literally anything a person can think of.

i see! this looks like a cheesecake like the baked version (because there's a no baked version) REALLY INTERSTING LOOKS YUMMY 10/10 would lOVE TO TRY even though i cant even read the russian symbols and my brain is like ah yes the one thats almost is a rectangle is a p (based on all the russian texts ive seen since talking with you) wtf why is the a 3 and the k is probably not a k

idk whos nada...

yes i know T_T HAHAHAHAH

but ill definately watch this vid later! give me more english vids with some social themes pls.

that channel that made that video (theyre called the take) have amazing insight on things. i think the first video i watched on them was about himbos or perhaps it was the one i enjoyed the most?? which is why i remember it but yeah they have amazing takes on things pun intended

'ok for me not to feel that much feelings at all towards nada' yeah ig thats it? tbh tolerance is a little overrated?.. ik how it sounds but hear me out. maybe its just me but preferring something or smn with privileges over smth or smn without those very privileges seems not so right nowadays no matter what is the reason? as not liking a woman arouses a question about being a sexist while not liking a man isnt discussed and everyone understands why. i know why its like this but im not gonna continue, its going to be long. you have a right to not feel strong feelings when you dont feel them. its simple. it doesnt matter if its a male or female character. we all are too determined about our sexes? ok but im not continuing THIS definately.

but this is very true. some people can be like oh u dont like this woman you misogynist ??? no thats not how that works ???? it was a good food for thought for me though, kind of this catharsis I had over nada. i went from omg am i internally misogynistic to oh wait nah its just that she's literally just a plot device without too much depth used for nada. this now kind opens the discussion of, oh women are only used as plot devices for character development of men. and yeah thats a problem but T_T yeah lets not get into that AHHHHAHAHA

yeah you should be able to like and not like a character but hopefully you only do it based on their character not something like apperance sex or whatever

ig ill answer to why you love that issue the most in the next part. and i want to discuss smth else about discrimination. so! have a nice morning/day/evening, see you in the next part!

AH YES LETS GO PHILOSOPHICAL DEBATE HOLLA

xxx

[elysianslove]

I wanted to ask to make sure I didn't make you uncomfortable! This turned out really long and all over the place 😭. You obv don't have to read it, since I just needed someone to talk to, bc I am very bad at expressing my feelings :'.

SoI took an important exam a few ago, and I heard some ppl got there results, so I went to go check if I got mine, and I did! But they were disappointing and not what I was expecting, bc the exam felt pretty easy. And so I was quite sad :(. And then I told my sister and she also got her results. But what made em really upset was that she got a higher mark compared to mine. And it's not that I was jealous or smn no i was very happy for her and im so proud of her! But when you keep getting lower than someone no matter how much you try, and how hard you work it makes you really upset. Especially if they didn't put in nearly as much as half the work you did.

I was just really disappointed in myself and it kinda made me question what I was doing wrong. Bc no matter how much work I put in, I still wasn't able to get close to the amount she did, even though I worked hard. It kinda made me think back about what i could've changed. And I feel like I am the problem. That I'm just dumber, or slower, or stupider. It really sucks to be thinking like that, but when it's not the first, or second, or third time it's happped, it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me.

And I only have one chance left for this exam which doesn't help :/. I also opened the results at the wrong time. Bc after I opened them i started crying (and I still am). An I opened them right before my final 😭 don't do that. Don't ever do that 😭

Self-deprecation isn't nice but sometimes you can't help but think that you're the problem when no matter what you do, or try to change,, you feel stuck and nothing changes. *sigh* I couldn't even sleep this morning or last nigh,, today is just not it

Thabk you for letting me rant! I seriously needed that!

hey lovely! i’m sorry i only just saw this but :( i’m so sorry that you’ve been led to think of yourself that way :( (had to put a read more cause this got long haha) 

 i promise that although something like one exam seems detrimental and catastrophic right now, but trust me, in the long run, it’s big results and achievements that matter. not to say that little successes shouldn’t be celebrated, because they absolutely should, but failures should never, ever put you down. i sound hypocritical because god knows i beat myself up for days when a bad exam happens, but honestly, i try to remind myself, it’s already happened. i did my best, and i did all i could, and this is the result. it’s not the best, it’s not me, but it happened, and i can’t change it. all i can do is aim for better on the next exam. 

i know it seems like all your chances have vanished, but i promise they haven’t. newer and maybe even better chances will arrive. and you’ll do amazing. 

take your study habits, and look through them. could there be something you’re doing that might not be 100% efficient? maybe you’re not studying in a way that best helps you. like for example, a lot of people are visual learners, so they require notes, watching videos, seeing things demonstrated, for them to fully understand. while some are auditory learners. there are so many different types to it. maybe try figuring that out first! it might help enhance studying. 

also i trust that you are proud of your sister, but comparing yourself to her will only make you feel worse. compare yourself to yourself. take a time where you’ve done really well, and analyze why. did your study methods differ, did you just understand the material more, did you get enough sleep the night before, etc. 

and i promise you, one bad day does not determine whether you’re meant to be happy or not. i’m really sorry it was bad for you, but i hope and pray that tomorrow’s better, or the day after, or the day after and then all the days after that. you’re going to be okay, i promise. everything will be fine, and you’re perfect the way you are, with your grades and everything. so long as you continue to do your absolute best, everything will soon fix itself, and you’ll be where you’re meant to be.

just trust in yourself, and in your capabilities. you’ll end up where you’re meant to end up, and hopefully that’s somewhere you want, and somewhere you deserve. i love you loads! and you can come to me at any time you need! mwah <3