#I just- bruh how hard is it to get some good dick in this town?

[neverendingford]

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[nachohypno]

Nate and Dave Ch. 13

Didn’t take long for us to leave the shopping street. We did take a few pictures together, mostly for storing. Dave is pretty photogenic and looks great in all of them (He even wanted to take his tank top off for a few! But I assumed that would attract unwanted stares. Silly old Dave...)

We left our bags at the back seat and drove off towards Dave’s house. Something I always liked about living in a town: Everything is close, and yet, a car never seems a bad idea. Maybe my ass is just lazy, but I enjoy relaxing next to Dave as my werewolf boyfriend just drives us safely towards our destination.

“I forgot to ask… Are your parents home?” I like Mr. and Ms. Walker! I really do! But there’s so many things you can do when a couple of werewolves with heightened senses are in the house with you. I have a feeling that they can hear every single sound in the house.

And that’s not really fun. I don’t think it’s intentional though, but it’s pretty hard to have a heart-to-heart moment when you think everyone is listening to you.

“Nuh-uh.” Dave mumbled, as he parked outside his garage. “Pop’s working during the evening, comes back by the time we’d be out of school, so we have quite a few hours before our private time is over. Mom’s out with some of her friends I guess, she doesn’t like spending much time ‘locked away’.”

“So, you really want to have a pool day? We’re a month or so away from Winter, big guy.” Not intending to sound like a party pooper. The day was nice and you can survive without a jacket, but I don’t think I’ll be going into the pool. Catching a cold isn’t something I look forward to.

“I’m always up for some swimmin’, but get what ya mean, bruh.” He turned off the engine and looked at me. “You can relax by the pool, and if things get really cold we can just go to my room and warm ya up!”

We entered the house. I couldn’t hear a single sound inside, which was a comforting thing.

“Lose the clothes! Lose the clothes! Lose the clothes!” Dave started chanting, as he stripped in front of me as fast as he could, soon standing naked in the middle of the living room.

I always liked how easily he loses his clothes at every chance he gets. Maybe he likes having his built body at full display for others to admire? I mean, who wouldn’t admire him?

The meaty pecs are not too big, but not exactly small either. His 6-pack abs are perfectly aligned and seem ready to take a few punches, breaking your hand in the process.

His cock was hard, of course. His cock was always hard when he’s naked, like an automatic thing. 

He seems like a 15 years old with those levels of horniness, and yet he makes such a great job holding himself back instead of suggesting to have sex everyday. I don’t know if he jerks off though, maybe he’s just happy to see me.

“I… prefer to stay clothed?” Such a party pooper, I know, but I’d rather not worry my mom with getting sick because I want to seem cool for my boyfriend. I’ll get naked in the bedroom, but the pool seems out of the question right now.

Dave frowned. “Still worrying about gettin’ cold? Wait here and strip, I’ll get ya a solution, bruh.” He raced upstairs, our bags in hand. I loved how the locket dangled in between his pecs, such a cool detail.

I did as told though, not because he told me to but because I was curious. And a little part of me didn’t want to be lame. That train is gone now, though, right?

I waited for my puppy boy, as I started feeling the cold getting to me. It wasn’t bad, but not exactly the most pleasant thing in the world. I stayed in my boxers, because I wasn’t looking forward to the air invading my ass.

A minute later or so, the jock dashed down the stairs with his varsity jacket on one arm, and a pair of towels on the other. He was already wearing his speedo, but it failed to hide anything due to his hard on.

“Uhm… Could you go soft like… down there?” I asked, trying to sound as nice as possible. Perks of having a werewolf soulmate, apparently everything you say sounds always as nice as possible, Dave is just happy to comply with everything that I may want or need.

Including controlling his body functions, like how his dick just got soft all of a sudden and the speedo looked a bit less revealing. Still, it fitted him quite well.

“Not gonna swim, right?” Dave asked, giving me a finger gun. I shook my head, before laying a towel on the ground and just laying down. “A’ight, watch these moves then, bruh!”

He jumped in the pool with a cannonball, making a big splash, before giving me a thumbs up and smiling. I clapped a lot, to show him some enthusiasm before he sank back down and started doing laps. I rolled my eyes, and started scrolling through my phone.

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Dave pulled himself out of the pool after finishing another set of laps, and started drying himself off like a dog: Shaking it off.

I covered myself with his jacket, and I heard him chuckle. “Water’s so nice today, bruh. You should give it a try!”

“Are you really not cold? It’s okay if you are… We can do something else instead.” I knew he wasn’t but I was worried about him.

“Chill out, my body’s as warm as a lighted chimney.” He finished drying himself off with a towel and sat beside me on the stone floor. “Us werewolves can take some really cold temperatures, especially while wearing our fur, babe.”

Huh, that awakened my curiosity!

“So… everyone in your family is a werewolf?” I asked, reaching out for my phone. I had to write this down or otherwise I would forget about it! I had made a special text file for my research on Dave’s… wolfiness.

As soon as I get some juicy new information, I write it down to satisfy my inner nerd. Never thought I would be so invested in investigating a supernatural creature, but yet again, I never thought I’d have a werewolf as my soulmate!

“Uh… not quite?. Like, I think there’s a fifty percent chance if one of the two is a normal person, but we don’t really care about that. It’s not like it’s a super important thing to have a werewolf son.” He tried to explain, putting on his sunglasses again and sitting beside me. “It is pretty important for my pops but between you and me, he’s just kinda racist.”

My fingers tapped the screen as I heard everything Dave had to say. I mean, not the part about his dad, but the werewolves’ children having a fifty percent chance to inherit lycanthropy.

“But,” He resumed his explanation. “Most of my family is a werewolf, maybe there’s just one or two not werewolves out there? There are a lot of Walkers, that’s for sure. Not sayin’ we mate like bunnies but… I do have a lot o’ cousins.”

“Any siblings?” I asked, but he shook his head in denial.

“Nope. I’m an only son, bruh. I always thought it was because I’m an alpha, and dad says I got the jackpot with that rank. Heheh.” A smug look on his face, he flexed his arms while pointing to himself with his head high. The guy was trying to seem narcissistic or he was really proud of himself.

He looked cute anyway. The speedo was holding his now-soft cock perfectly, and you could see his shape through it. Muscles in all the right places… the guy looked like a really little hulk. Just… human-like, and not green.

I took my eyes off him for a few seconds to finish writing this line at my notepad. ‘Werewolves seem to mate and reproduce themselves quite frequently, but it varies on a subject vasis.’

“Hey nerd, drop the phone.” Dave said, in a commanding tone. I definitely wasn’t expecting it, but I looked at him again and he seemed a bit annoyed. Maybe because I wasn’t giving him much attention? He wasn’t flexing anymore, then he started walking closer.

I tapped my way to the ‘Save’ button before leaving my phone next to me. “Uh… sure thing? What’s with the attitude?”

The puppy boy didn’t stop to answer, but instead got next to me and grabbed my hips in a swift move. Supernatural speed or reflexes, whatever you want to call it, I loved it. “Just enjoy it, babe…” He mumbled, before leaning in for a kiss. I closed my eyes as I kissed him back, and could feel my body being lifted from the nice towel on the grass.

His warm skin against my naked chest, only protected by his varsity jacket. A few seconds afterward, the varsity jacket was off. The locket necklace was cold, but I didn’t mind. I just enjoyed the moment, just like he said.

Dave was walking, but the kiss distracted me. My mistake was closing my eyes, because I didn’t see his prank coming. 

“One… two…” He started to swing me towards the pool. I opened my eyes as soon as he started counting, but I only managed to say a surprised “Dave-!” before he interrupted me.

“Three!” SPLASH. I fell in the water. The cold water, but my body was quickly getting used to it. I stayed underwater for a few more seconds to fully embrace the cold temperature, I knew that I would shiver a bit less if I did that.

I had my eyes closed once again, because I never got used to my eyes touching water, but I did feel the water movement as Dave jumped right after me.

I swam back to the surface. I’m not a good swimmer, but this area of the pool wasn’t that deep so I could touch the bottom with my feet and keep myself up with small jumps.

“Hey, hey. I got’cha now…” Dave mumbled, catching me in his arms and keeping me from jumping. I hugged him as tightly as I could. His body was still warm, so it felt really good. Like some kind of underwater stove.

“T-Thanks, big guy…” I managed to say. I would have loved to avoid seeming a weakling, but even with Dave’s hot body, I still felt myself getting colder the longer I was in the pool.

Pulling me closer, he leaned in for a good make out session which I really appreciated. I wrapped my legs around his waist and we stayed like that for a good while.

...Until the coldness was too much for me, that is. There’s a little line between ‘being a party-pooper’ and ‘my body can’t hold this temperature anymore’. The wind wasn’t making it any easier, making me feel colder at every part that stood out of the water.

“D-D-Dave… Let’s head... back in, okay?” I managed to say, holding him close. The jock nodded, and swam over to the edge of the pool, making sure to keep me as close as possible.

Once we were out, I reached out for the towel I was laying on a while before. Dave was shaking the water off him like a puppy boy would do, so he was okay in that part. Then, I noticed him getting zoned out again as the fur on his body started to grow. 

‘Oh, geez, I love this part!’ I thought, noticing a tail appearing behind him and his muscles growing with the yellow-ish/brown fur on his skin.

His human head morphed into a humanoid wolf one, two little fangs sticking out of his dog snout with a little black spot appearing where his nose was. His hands grew paw pads and claws, before finishing the transformation with a howl after going out of his self-induced trance.

I kept drying myself with the towel, hoping to get warmer with that, but then the puppy boy tackled me. I managed to grab my phone from the ground as he said “Don’t ya worry, my love. Gonna take good care of you…” before picking me up and dashing inside. He was already warm before, but his fur was really comfortable and helping out with the cold.

A few minutes later, the big guy entered his room with me on his arms. I felt like those couples on tv, being carried by my big and strong boyfriend towards his bed. Dave gently left me on top of it and then laid down next to me. A tight hug afterwards, I could feel the coldness fading away as a very comfortable warm invaded my body.

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Dave’s POV

Nate fell asleep in my arms. His shivering stopped, and he was warm again. 

I sighed, such a dumb move I’ve made. But hey, gettin’ to werewolf form to warm him up was pretty smart, right?

Reluctantly, I pulled away from him and tried to get up from my bed. Any other day I would love to do this, he’s my soulmate! Weeks after noticing him, I still couldn’t believe it. I’m supposed to make him happy and safe, fuck.

I grabbed the bedsheets and made sure Nate was well-covered in them. ‘Only the best for my boyfriend’ I thought. I shivered the bit at the thought of having a ‘boyfriend’, but that’s what he is. A guy. THE guy, the one I love the most in the world.

Magic can be quite funny, huh. How a soulmate can turn my whole world upside down. I would be beatin’ the heck outta this guy if he ever implied that we’re meant to each other. And now I fell in love with a guy. Karma’s a bitch, some say.

The sight of Nate being so comfortable in his sleep, not shivering anymore, just happily dozed off, it pushed all the buttons for me. He had to be happy, I had to make sure of that. I want to be a good soulmate for the guy I love.

Looked down at my hands, I noticed I was still in werewolf form. Mom hates when we go werewolf while we’re at the house, because the fur gets all over the floor sometimes. She’s not home though, so I can do whatever I want.

Nate’s phone was firmly held by his owner. He had all that investigation thing in there, so I guess that’s why. I knew he wanted to know more about me and my lycanthropy, and I was honored to help him! He wanted to try and understand me more? He’s the best!

I rubbed my hairy wolf head, what to do now? Should I wait for him to wake up?

I mean, I’d love to spend time just cuddling with him, but I kinda feel guilty for pulling him into the pool like that. Gonna start listening to him if I want to stop fucking up.

Nate’s really nice to me, and never tells me I fuck up, but there’s always that little possibility I actually fuck up our dates quite often and he just never tells me, and I love him too much to hurt him in any way.

That’s also why I’ve been trying to control my strength, too! Our first days together, I almost crushed the guy down with my weight, but after some practice I managed to keep myself at bay to make sure he’s comfortable with me around!

I clenched my fist and threw a punch to the air. A little unfamiliar ‘cling cling’ sounded as I did so, the locket. Watching it filled me with joy and a warm feeling. It’s like I carry a little reminder that I’m Nate’s soulmate. 

A puppy boy, always ready to please my owner in any way possible.

My own words, the ones I wrote on the little note inside the locket, resonated through my mind. “My heart, body and mind belongs to my lovely soulmate Nate Hall.” Followed by my signature. It was cheesy, and maybe a try hard-ish thing for my taste, but it was the truth. Nate was my owner and I was his puppy boy.

I held the metal thing tightly in my hand, before letting it go and turning around, heading out of my room. Empty house, still plenty of time to have fun.

I had to walk in tiptoes, because my heavy footsteps may wake up my boyfriend. I could just change back into human form, but I felt stronger and faster while in werewolf form. Any excuse I have to use it will be great.

Out on the corridor, I looked for the attic trapdoor’s handle on the ceiling. The attic is a pretty dirty and dark place, we just use it as storage. So, I assumed mom and pops would store their family treasures or memories. Boxes filled with old books, photo albums, letters and other trash. 

Somewhere in those boxes had to be my old copy of the ‘Being a werewolf: How to keep the secret safe and live among the human society.’ book. (Sounds lame, but I ain’t making that up!).

So, time for a good search. I can’t search it by smell, because I would only smell dust and humidity.

My claws made it a bit more harder to search through the boxes without breaking stuff, but I managed to search through quite a few of them pretty quickly. No luck so far.

A box next to a small window had a little ‘Old stuff from Dave’ tag on it. Mom liked to organize stuff, I don’t know why I didn't look for this one to begin with.

I opened the top of the box and began searching through full notebooks filled with gibberish writing from when I didn’t know how to read or write. I was quite the slow learner, according to a few old teachers. Then, there it was.

A brown book, with a wolf doing a thumbs up to me, with silver letters that read ‘Being a werewolf: How to keep the secret safe and live among the human society.’ And a little seal of quality on the bottom of it that said ‘Approved by the supernatural council’. This would make a perfect gift for my nerdy boyfriend.

I decided to look a bit more around that box and other ones, just in case I found more stuff for him, but I’ve been up in the attic for quite some time, apparently.

“Uh… Dave?” A dazed Nate asked, still in my room. I could hear him perfectly, great part of the heightened hearing.

“Comin’ up!” I answered, trying to sound loud enough for him to hear me. Searching for treasures would have to wait, my soulmate needed me.

I left the attic and closed the trapdoor, before running into my room. Another rule, my mom doesn’t like us running in the house because we could break the furniture, but pops always gives me a free pass on that one.

“Need anythin’? I’m so sorry for pushing you in down there, bro…” I tried to apologize, but Nate didn’t seem mad at all. Nor disappointed, he just seemed… comfortable. “If you want me to do something to make it up for you, just say it and I’ll do it. Anything. Oh, wait, got you this book for your investigation...”

I sometimes think I can exaggerate when around Nate, but there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. And that’s not poetry, I mean it quite literally.

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.

I gave him the book and Nate examined it carefully. “Being a werewolf… Is there actually a whole guidebook about being a werewolf?” He asked, before leaving it on my night table. I nodded, wondering if he liked it or not.

“Thanks so much! And about before, don’t worry about it.” Nate said, breaking the few seconds of silence. “I mean, I’m not dead so… it was just a fun prank!” Huh, I thought he would actually be mad at me after that. “Hey, c’mere.”

I did as told, while he reached out for my wolf head. I started giving light kicks to the floor as he scratched the back of my ear. There’s no way I can describe the pleasure this gives me. It’s just… the best thing in the world, next to him.

“‘sides, you also brought me up here and warmed me up. I can’t be mad at you for being such a good puppy boy! Who’s a good puppy boy? Huh? Who’s a good puppy boy?”

An urge to answer overwhelmed me. “I am!” I said. “I am a good puppy boy! Woof!”

“Yes, you are! You’re the best puppy boy ever, aren’t you?” He continued, now scratching my neck. My kicks came out a bit stronger now, as the pleasure went up. My cock was already rock hard, this was amazing!

“Yeah! I am your puppy boy, bruh! Woof, woof!” My urge to bark wasn’t a new thing, either. It was like my animal instinct and my human mind were at a bit of a struggle right now. I didn’t care though, Nate’s happiness was the thing that mattered the most to me right now.

“Come up on the bed, we’re gonna have some puppy fun, right puppy boy?”

I nodded excitedly, before climbing my bed. I loved how small Nate looked when on my bed. Probably because I’m way bigger than him, and the bed was actually made to fit my werewolf form on it.

“Also… could you just… zone out for a bit? You know, like we’ve practiced, puppy boy.”

No time to think, though. Had to obey.

If Nate was the center of my world before, then he just became the center of my universe as my mind emptied from every thought that didn’t involve obeying him.

Nate was my soulmate, my owner, the most important person in my life without a doubt. And I was just a simple puppy boy jock.

“My heart, body and mind belongs to my lovely soulmate Nate Hall.” Those words resonated again in my mind, this time stronger, as Nate pulled his wet underwear off. “Take off your speedo, puppy boy.” He ordered.

I was smiling, and my tongue was lolling out. I obeyed his order without a single doubt in my mind. Pure bliss by just obeying my soulmate was a great thing. Nate moved me like a ragdoll, having one of my hands wrapped around his cock and the other around mine. “Now, start jerking us off.”

It was an honor for me. My owner wanted me to jerk him off! I couldn’t disappoint him!

I did my best, trying to control my strength well enough so he could enjoy it without pain. I replicated my own moves on my cock, pleasuring myself as well. Nate was just laying there, eyes closed and arms behind his back. He moaned from time to time.

While we already went through the ‘fucking’ stage, I never knew if Nate enjoyed it as much as I did. We never did it again, so it’s hard to know.

But hey, any moment with my soulmate is an amazing one! 

I kept stroking him for quite a while, not minding anything but focusing on bringing him pleasure. My own pleasure was another thing, but he included it in his order so I had to pleasure myself too!

Then, he pushed my hand off and grabbed me by the locket. “That’s enough for now, let’s just cuddle together, all right?”

My answer was a bit of panting, as I did as he suggested and wrapped him in my arms. I hoped my fur warmed him a lot more, after the shitty move I pulled before.

“I love you, puppy boy. You’re the best and only puppy boy in the world for me...” A little yawn as he laid on my pecs.

I smiled, feeling myself blush a bit but it would have been not distinguishable at all due to the fur in my face. This was one of the few times that I had to fight against the influence of being ‘zoned out’, not for a bad reason, but because I wanted to answer him.

“I… love you… too, my love…” I managed to say, quite happy but still a bit unemotional. Eh, did my best there, and Nate seemed happier, since he hugged me tighter.

“Let’s just nap for a while… Okay?” I don’t know if that was an order, but I almost immediately dozed off.

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[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Stark’s New Intern” Chp. 12

Summary: Erik finally gets what he wants...

"You bitches ugly and dusty and none of y'all matter Money all on me, I'm feeling real flattered Walk in this bitch, straight drippin' like I was tryna get to the toilet,

but I couldn't hold bladder First class only when I'm not on the jet All the white folks keep breakin' they neck They tryna see if I'm black and a threat,

but I'm covered in green, they like "Look it's Shrek!" Bankteller sayin' my shit froze (How?)

Pockets thick as hell like Lizzo (Wow) Mukbang the beat like Trish, hoe (Damn) If you piss me off, it's a shit show 'Cause I'mma do some shit that you can't believe

Smack a bitch into Christmas Eve (Uh-huh)…"

cupcakKe—"Grilling Niggas"

Prince Francesco of Monaco stared at Prince Erik of Wakanda by way of Oakland with a glare so hot, the entire room could feel the angry heat wafting off of him. Erik pushed a cool half a million worth of chips into the center of the table and waited for the perturbed man sitting across from him to put up or fold.

Tony had a hand gripped to his face and his other hand around his stomach. Four hours of card playing had come down to this moment. Two final players facing off. Tension was heavy like wet cement bags on Erik's chest even though he felt confident that the other Prince was bluffing.

Erik had been grilling these fools the entire time he was there. He felt a little cocky about it too.

"Sun is about to come up, bruh," Erik teased.

Tony's top lip teased up into a smirk and the other men watching kept quiet. The final pot was ten million dollars in total.

Francesco grumbled and when Erik thought he would fold, the man called him out and pushed even more chips to the center. Erik spread his cards out on the table.

"Fuck," was all Francesco could say as his sorry hand was revealed.

A couple of the spectators clapped and Tony walked over and slapped his hand on Erik's back.

"Be gracious," Tony whispered to him and Erik stood up from his seat to shake out his stiff legs.

"Here ya go, big winner," Delores said handing him a shot of tequila.

Erik downed it before Tony could say anything.

The dealer collected all the chips and a silver-haired Asian woman who sat to the side quietly observing the entire time Erik was there, pulled out a chrome laptop. Tony and Francesco each handed the woman blank black cards and she swiped them on an attachment hooked to the laptop.

"Exchange complete," she said handing the cards back to the men.

Tony's eyes took in the room.

"I thank you for this evening Francesco….gentlemen until next time—"

"Wait…wait…I demand a rematch. Bring this young man to Monaco."

Francesco’s face looked pleasant enough, but his tone was serious.

"That can be arranged, but we need to get going. Night."

Erik watched Tony put on his blazer and button it up. He slid on a pair of shades and Erik followed him out to an awaiting town car.

When the driver pulled away from the museum, Tony let out a relieved sigh.

"Holy shit, Stevens. I thought I was going to shit a brick those last few hands. You played Francesco like a goddamned cello."

"He's a pro—"

"But he met his match. For years I've been wanting to beat that spoiled imp, but he always comes out on top most games. I've been lucky a couple of times, but to see him shut down like that…fucking golden. Good job, kiddo. I owe you."

"A trip to Monaco—"

"To work…and maybe a little bit of play if you do well at the Expo. You ready to work?"

"I think I'm ready. How bad can it be with a bunch of little kids?"

"Oh jeez, they are going to eat you up."

Tony smiled and leaned back in his seat.

"Thanks for coming when I called. You saved me the ass beating of the year."

"Do I get a cut?"

"I'll think about it."

"You trippin', I should get half."

"You played with my money—"

"But I won money with that money."

"I'll think about fair compensation—"

"Betta have a lot of zero's with it."

"You hungry? We can stop at an all-night spot I know."

"Nah, got somewhere to be."

Tony glanced at his platinum watch.

"Really? Where?"

"That's my business," Erik said. He couldn't keep the grin off of his face thinking about Athena.

"Oh…I see. A date."

"Somethin' like that."

They pulled in front of a brand-new skyscraper and the driver opened Tony's door.

"Have fun on your date."

Erik stared up at the building.

"My East Coast digs. Have your presentation and schedule mock-up ready by Thursday."

Erik nodded and Tony walked to his New York penthouse.

The driver dropped Erik off at the hotel and he rode the elevator marveling at the amount of money he was able to play with just on the whim of rich white men, who wouldn't blink if they never saw it again. The re-match Francesco wanted was pure ego.

Erik slipped into his suite, showered, and shaved quickly then checked the time. Six in the morning. He changed into soft white linen slacks and a creamy purple Brunelli Cucinelli cashmere sweater. Slipping on dark tan dock loafers, he felt relaxed enough to appear casual, even with his pocket stuffed with condoms. They had all day to lounge, and he made sure to have enough rubbers to keep Athena in her bed until it grew dark again.

Sauntering over to her room, Erik smelled good, looked, good, and felt good enough to rock Athena's world. The anticipation was bubbling inside of him like tea on tap about to whistle.

Knocking on her door softly, he waited for her to answer, and for a slight moment, he did worry that she had changed her mind when she didn't answer. If she had changed her mind, Athena was the type to text him and let him know early on.

When she opened the door in a silk half robe, all that deep cleavage teasing him, he felt his dick wake up a little bit, and he flashed her all his big white teeth. He tried to step into her room, but she blocked access. He frowned.

"You got somebody else in there?"

The rumble in his voice caught her attention and she bit her lip all sexy and that ticked him off. All that teasing talk and she had some other dude up in her room and didn't text a nigga? Fuck that. Erik skimmed past her. The thick hotel room curtains were drawn closed, so the room was still dark. The tv was on. One queen bed was disheveled and empty, but the other bed—

"Hey, Erik!"

The bubbly face of Maria greeted him. She wore a t-shirt and probably her favorite Winnie-The-Pooh pajama bottoms she wore at their apartment back in Los Angeles under the bed covers. Erik glanced back at Athena. She shrugged and closed the door.

"Maria and I had a little serious girl talk last night, and watched a little tv."

Athena climbed onto the bed she was using and Erik just stood in the room like a big dummy.

"You're up early," Maria said eyeing his clothes, "we have snacks if you want some. I was going to order room service for pancakes. You guys want pancakes?"

"Um...Athena?"

Erik held up his hands.

Maria's cell phone rang. She answered it.

"What are we doing?" he asked.

"She's just going to hang out for a bit. She had a bad time with you-know-who again. Not sex, just…awkward closure…I'm letting her hang out for a bit. She'll leave soon enough, just be cool, okay? It was pretty rough for her."

"Let's go to my room then."

"Climb in."

"I want to be alone with you—"

"You will be. Erik, we have all day and night. Be a friend, please? She's vulnerable right now."

"She has Giselle for that—"

"I'm not going to kick her out—"

"I'll do it then—"

Athena grabbed his arm and pulled him onto her bed.

"Kick your shoes off and relax."

Erik used his toes to release his shoes from his feet slowly and he climbed on top of the bed covers. He leaned his back against the headboard. Maria chattered and it only took Erik a few seconds to realize she was talking to Giselle. Erik held his forehead with his hand waiting for Maria to finish.

"How was the thing with Stark?"

"Good. It was a private poker game."

"Really? Why did he need you?"

"I played for him. He bankrolled me with some high rollers and I kicked butt."

"Serious? How much?"

Erik whispered in her ear. Her eyes grew big.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

He shook his head.

"Keep that to yourself. I'm tryna get a players fee from him."

His eyes drifted from hers down to the top of her robe. Her heavy breasts strained against the silk. He rested a hand on one breast and squeezed softly. Her eyes darted over to Maria.

"You can wait," Athena said. But she didn't move his hand.

Eventually, Maria got off her cell, but then the next thing Erik knew, she and Athena got caught up in a show about young fashion designers competing for runway shows and the time ticked on for two hours as the two women cackled about clothes and yelled at the t.v.

Athena ordered room service for everyone and they all ate pancakes and omelets with crispy bacon and Erik turned grumpy when the women got caught up in another reality tv show. Athena patted his head and pulled back the covers for him to cuddle under with her. Maria saw the action but said nothing about it as she snacked on more bacon.

Wrapping his arm around Athena's waist, Erik closed his eyes and rested his head on a pillow, allowing his body to savor the warmth of Athena and the sweet cloying smell of her skin.

Even with the sun up outside, the room remained quite dark with the curtains still shut, and he found himself drifting in and out of sleep. The third time he woke up from a short two-minute cat nap, he found himself getting warm and pulled off his socks and then his slacks.

"What are you doing?" Athena said glancing over at Maria who was focused on the tv.

"I'm hot with these clothes on."

He pulled the sweater over his head and Athena's eyes scanned his chest with hunger in her eyes.

"I'm keeping my boxers on."

She rolled her eyes.

"Had I known this was going to turn into a slumber party I woulda worn sweats," he grumbled.

He curled around her body again and let his arm brush against her breasts. He could feel her softness better and his dick chubbed up by being pressed into her backside.

"You making me hard," he whispered in her ear.

"I haven't even done anything," she whispered back.

"You ain't gotta do nothing but back that ass against me. Witcho fine ass."

She giggled and rubbed her hand on his arm.

Erik pressed his lips on the back of her neck and then kissed her earlobes.

"Don't…."

Athena's protests were weak and she pressed her thick cheeks back into him.

Erik slipped a hand inside her robe and it fell open easily as he caressed her breasts under the covers. Athena turned her head back toward him and he snagged a hold of her lips. Soft tongue kissing kept them quiet as the tv rattled on.

"Erik, stop, wait until she leaves…."

He pulled off his boxers and pushed up Athena's robe. All he felt was a short satin nightgown under the robe and no panties. He let his fingers drag lightly along her shaved vulva and she bit her bottom lip to keep quiet.

"She's been here four hours since I came in. I'm here to collect what you promised. If you won't go to my room, and you just letting her linger, I'm getting something right now."

Athena pressed into his erection.

"You feel all that big dick, huh?"

He plucked at her nipples and they hardened fast for him. His eyes were glued to them and when he lifted up one heavy breast, Athena reached back and gripped his dick. He fingered her clit and she shoved her face into her pillow to stifle a moan.

He teased her bud until she was squirming hard against his length. He tried to keep his voice quiet too as her ass cradled his erection and milked pre-cum from him. Both of them found their eyes darting over to look at Maria. Her back was to them because the large screen tv was hanging over the wall of the small living room area.

Erik kissed Athena again, forcing her to turn her head toward him as he tongued her down with slow wet kisses. He felt like his dick got harder trying to sneak pleasure with someone else in the room. Athena's pussy was sopping wet. The thrill of being caught probably turning her on too. An entire half-hour episode of a show played on tv as they reveled in kissing long and deep. Erik stopped kissing her when she opened up her robe and let her breasts fall out of the nightgown. He felt his manhood twitch just from looking at the overabundance displayed before him. Her eyes were glassy and her lips looked swollen from his mouth ravishing hers.

Erik reached for his pants that were folded at the end of the bed and dug in the pockets. Pulling out two condoms he stuck one under the pillow and unwrapped the other.

"We can't," Athena whispered.

Erik pulled the covers over Athena's chest and leaned back nonchalantly.

"Hey turn that up," Erik called to Maria.

"It's already kinda loud," Maria said looking over at him.

"Just a little bit," he said.

The remote was by her side, so Maria turned it up two volume levels.

Erik slid the condom down on his length and squeezed his balls.

Athena was still hesitant, but that didn't stop her from turning to her side and allowing him to line his dick up with her gaping slit. Erik looked at her opening and held in a heavy groan that wanted to fall out of his mouth. He pushed in and Athena slammed a hand over her mouth and shoved her face into her pillow.

"Told ya," he whispered, "I'm bout to get up in them guts."

Erik kept his thrusts slow, hard, and deep.

Her pussy was snug around his thickness and when she looked back at him with her lips parted and her eyes pleading with him to keep going slow, he found his own mouth going lax and hard exhales falling from his lips without any control from him. Soft rocking motions kept them content, and this woman's pussy gave Erik more nasty thoughts of what he would do to her when they were actually alone.

He pulled away from her when Maria jumped off her bed and padded into the bathroom. The bathroom fan was loud and Erik took advantage of the noise and Maria's absence in the room to start pummeling Athena's pussy. He gripped her leg and lifted it up, pushing away the covers.

"She's going to come back out!" Athena cried out.

Athena wiggled and slammed her ass back into him, but the thrill of discovery was tinged in her voice. She was turned on with the idea of being caught.

Erik slammed into her and her eyes shut tight.

"Fuck, Erik!"

They heard the toilet flush and then running water.

It was now or never.

He pulled Athena on top of him. He wanted to see those huge tits bounce. She leaned forward and not only did they bounce, but they smacked against each other loudly.

"Fuuckkk, baby…I'm cumming in your pussy!" Erik shouted.

Thrusting his hips up hard, the heavy spurts from his dick into the condom had his eyes rolling back as Athena muffled her own orgasm.

She scrambled off of him and dived back under the covers as Maria strolled casually back into the room and flopped back on her bed.

Erik felt Athena's body shaking with laughter as she covered her mouth. Erik burst out laughing and pulled the covers over his chest.

"What's so funny?" Maria asked, glancing over her shoulder, completely oblivious.

Erik fell out again as his penis grew flaccid.

"You, you're funny," he quipped.

Maria rolled her eyes and turned the tv channel.

Chapter 13 HERE

###

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[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 221

Rollie

Lane is fucking bad man. I'm cleaning up a whole gallon of milk because he decided that he knew how to make chocolate milk for him and Royalty, who is fucking 1 and unable to do any fucking thing. I cant deal with this boy. So here my ass is. And he sitting in the dining room with Royalty drinking his milk like he didn't do nothing. He did fucking manage to make their milk.

"Yo." I say answering my phone.

"Rollie?"

I throw the paper towel away. "Drew."

She sighs. "I miss hearing your voice. How are you?"

"I'm good."

"You don't care how I am?"

I roll my eyes. "Naw, not really. Got a lot of shit going on."

"Oh with your sister and her cheating husband?"

"Drew seriously."

She giggles. "Well anyway. If you don't want to talk to me I understand."

I nod taking the phone away from my ear. "Aight."

I hang up. You accept that shit and it always turns into some shit. I look around the kitchen. In the fake world Leah would be standing right there ready to ask a million questions and I would be acting like I'm caught.

"What the hell is this?" Chris snaps.

"Where the hell your kids at?" I retort.

He points outside. "They out there with Jordan."

"Jordan is your babysitter?" I shake my head. "My irresponsible 7 year old who hates babies?"

"I just went to fucking pee." Chris says looking at the milk. "That's milk?"

I throw the paper towel at him. "You finish this shit."

"It was only 3 minutes." Chris says looking out the back door. He opens it. "Jordan? What are you doing? Where are the kids?"

"So I'm not a kid?" Jordan asks.

Chris looks back at me then at her. "The babies. You are a kid. Where are the babies?"

"In the house."

"Alone?"

"There are adults in there." She snaps. "So can I get back in the pool now?"

"I got to clean this up." Chris says sounding defended. "Aye, when is Cammie and Trey coming? What time is it? I thought they were just picking Caden up."

I just stare at him as he rambles without waiting for any type of response. I don't even know shit he talking about. Can't answer his damn questions. Chris cleans it up then goes into the dining room where the kids were. Jordan hits the glass door then waves for me to come to her. No. I'm not watching you in the damn pool. She drops her shoulders. Shay is the name that her mother wanted but her father named her Jordan. But Jordan has stuck around just like Shay. I think more people call her Jordan. I wave at her. That pissed her off. My phone rings.

"Yo."

"Man, why the fuck you make me think I knew how to talk to my wife?" Trey spazzes.

I laugh. "You and Chris suck each other dicks too much. Just alike. What the hell you talking bout?"

"Tried to talk to Cammie and only thing came out of it was her thinking I don't want to be with her."

"But you don't Tremaine. Ain't that what you told me?"

"No." He says unsure. "Did I?"

I chuckle. Motherfucker so insecure. I don't know what my fucking sister does to him. Don't know where his ass is. I don't know when I became his spiritual advisor. I stare at Jordan as she presses her face to the glass.

"Aye, Chris! My fucking baby trying to be patient with your ass."

"Chris!" Lane yells running into the kitchen.

Chris comes into the kitchen from the other direction. "Bruh, find out when your sister coming to get her kid."

Lane was opening the back door. "Shay, open this door!"

"Lane you can do it yourself!" Jordan yells opening the door.

"Rollie?" Chris pleads.

I laugh. "Aye, Trey come save Chris from your son."

Trey blows. "I can't save my fucking self from his mother."

"You had a whole day of silence to rehearse. What the hell were you doing instead?"

"Sleeping." He snaps.

"The damage is real. Tell me the conversation."

He sighs. "I can't."

"Damn you forgot?"

"It's fucking embarrassing."

I shrug. "Well then Trey what can I do?"

"Man, I dont know. Let me call you back."

"Aight."

This nigga is a fucking mess. Lane runs into the house holding his dick. He pauses at the door right after he gets into the house then he start crying. I turn away from him and start laughing. Chris about to fucking shit bricks. I turn back towards Lane.

"What's wrong, nigga?"

"What's wrong, Lane?" Chris asks coming up behind him. "You went to the bathroom?"

I hold my laugh in. "On the floor."

All the emotion leaves Chris' face. He looks down at Lane who is still screaming. Chris leans against the door frame. Sweet Amber comes up asking what happened. She is too good to Chris. She picks Lane up.

"You just not having a good day, baby."

"You talking to Lane or Chris?" I ask.

She kisses Chris' neck then walks out of the kitchen with Lane. Chris just stands there then he goes back outside. I look out of the back door. Jordan was floating on a flower float with shades on and a towel over her body. That is what you were so ready to get in the water to do? Not even play. Just lay there.

 Trey

I answer the phone unconsciously. "Hello."

"Hey, Tremaine."

I smile. "Hey, Mama Cammie."

She chuckles just a bit. "I'm waiting on my luggage. Cammie isn't answering her phone. Did she send a car to pick me up? I'm really not too familiar with things in LA. Will it be easy to get a cab?"

"You at the airport?" I ask sitting up in my seat. "Cammie home breastfeeding or something. Maybe pumping. Which airport are you at?"

"Tremaine, I have no clue."

I smile. She is so much of Cammie. I swear. Helpless but bossy. She doesn't have it as bad as Cammie though. Cammie is a bitch. She reads me the ticket information. I'm actually not far away from her.

"I'll be there to get you in a few minutes." I tell her.

"Oh no. Just tell me how to get a cab. Do I call?"

"No, ma'am. I will be there. It's fine. I'm close."

We hang up the phone. I left the house just to not be there with Cammie, my mama, and my aunt who are all giving me looks. I don't think Cammie told them anything. I'm still getting looks. I get out of the car like I'm a normal person.

"Sir you can't park here."

"I'm just walking inside to get my mother." I say pointing. "She right there."

The guy looks behind himself then he looks at me. "Alright then. 5 minutes."

I walk into the building. This was a bad idea. I couldn't see over the crowd of people coming and going. I walk over to the corner of the room near a man with a sign. He waves it in the air then he looks at me.

"You never going to find your person just standing there. You need a sign."

"Yeah, buddy. It ain't that simple."

The guy puts his sign down. He walks to the wall and pick up a big piece of paper and bring it to me.

"Sure it is." He says handing me a market.

"Thanks." I say writing my name on the paper.

The guy looks at me. "Oh you waiting on Trey Songz?"

I stare at him for a few seconds then turn away. "Yeah. Sure."

I cover my face with the sign as someone stares at me. Let's not have any pictures of me standing in the airport with a sign. I chuckle to myself. That would be funny though. Wouldn't be funny running from the crowd of people that follow me.

"Tremaine."

"Mama Cammie." I say taking the sign away from my face.

She looks around. "I think those people are waiting for Trey Songz to come to his driver. Maybe you should leave that on your face."

I chuckle and start walking. "I didn't know you were coming to town."

"I talked to Cammie about it. Should I have told you? I don't want to be invasive."

"It's just that she didn't tell me. You welcome anytime."

We walk out of the airport followed by the crowd of people that Gwen was talking about. I'm sure that they have figured out by now that it is me. They were behaving well and just following me. That's all good. We get into the car without being bothered. I'm honestly not ready to go home.

"I was going by Chris' Beach rental he has to see Lane. Do you want to do that?"

"Oh yes that's fine."

We drive for a good bit in silence. It was very peaceful. Almost like she wasn't there. She had her face almost glued to the glass. I change my mind again about going to Lane and I drive around the city so she can see different sights. I didn't tell her that's what I was doing. We really just stayed silent.

"So Mama." I say looking at her. "You just came to LA to visit?"

"I want to be in my grandkids life without always taking them from home. You know?"

I nod. "Yeah."

"I figured it would be good for me and Jayla to... I don't know. That might be a stretch. What do you think?"

"Me?"

"She must tell you stuff." She says looking at me hopeful.

"She really doesn't. I mean she tells me stuff. But I don't understand her reason."

Gwen sighs deeply. "You know it's hard as a parent without having so much against you. I really loved her father. I wish they could remember that. I'm not a bad person for trying to fill a really big hole in my life. That was my first love."

"She might not understand that."

"I can't say I would have went back and changed anything because my kids would lose out on time with their father."

I glance over at her. "How is that?"

"They spent so much time with him."

"I mean. Why weren't yall together?"

She looks at me. "Just like you travel he traveled."

"I thought her father was just a local artist. Not traveling around the US."

"I see she doesn't talk about anything. I just want to say that I tried my best after he father died. I went from raising my kids with a great father to being by myself. Both of them seemed to forget everything. It became my fault that my son wanted to be a thug instead of a straight A student like he was."

I chuckle. "Rollie made straight A?"

"He was a grade level ahead of his class and he was still the top of his class."

"Rollie?"

She sighs. "Yes, Rollie. He changed completely. He went from being picked at to picked out of the crowd. He was a big fluffy bear. They turned my baby into a mean gangsta." She chuckles. "He still is my soft teddy bear. No matter how small he is."

"And Cammie? What happened with you and her?"

She sighs. "College. I don't know."

"Just college?"

Damn. The girl never told her fucking mother what happened. Gotdamn Cammie. I'm not going to be the one to fucking tell her. But Cammie is going to tell her with my help. Damn I'm already in the fucking hole.

"My children were spoiled by their father. He gave them whatever they wanted. I mean whatever. They would miss school for weeks at a time. My grandfather was the superintendent at the time so everyone in the school knew my family. They would send the kids school work with them. Her father spend a lot of his time in Atlanta and New York. They were rarely home with just me. And when they were they behaved so that they could go out of town when time came."

"Cammie don't talk about her childhood. I learned a lot just now. Do I know my wife?"

Gwen smiles softly touching my shoulder. "In ways that matter. She has grown so much since she had Lane."

"I need some growing, Mama Cammie."

"You need to get your priorities straight. God. Family. Everything else."

I nod. "But taking care of my family is done with that everything else."

"Girls, parties, sex, and drugs?"

"No ma'am. Money, work..."

She puts her hand up between our faces. "Don't even preach that to me. You could work as a manager at a Walmart and take care of your family. This is your dream. This is the life you want. It's not what God gave you and it's not doing nothing for your family."

"I mean..."

"It's not doing nothing for them." She repeats. "And it has no place in your marriage."

"So you saying I should stop music?"

She smirks and puts her phone down. "If you don't know how to grow up and put those childish things to the side."

"So Cammie's father did?"

"Nope." She says looking at herself in the mirror. "Got into a car with a drunk woman who ended his life and his unborn child."

I sit up in my seat then look at her really quick. "Say what? You kidding me?"

"Of course their father was nothing but a Saint to them. I know you haven't heard that."

"You was sitting here talking about how much in love you were."

She sits back then she looks at me. "Never said I didn't have growing to do. I sure did stop acting a fool and go back home to my parents. Married the man my father wanted me to marry and the rest is history."

"I don't see where you and your kids relationship went wrong."

"When I told my son that I would not watch him kill himself like his father did. When I told my daughter that she was headed straight for a life of regret and shame. Running after that football player and all his glory. I stopped feeding my children with a silver spoon and they rebelled. I became the worst mother in the world. But I don't regret it because they weren't doing nothing with themselves living under me."

I glance at her. "So you think Cammie shouldn't have married me?"

She smiles. "I like you Trey Songz." She touches my shoulder. "Better you grow up now while she still tolerates you. I think that boy broke her heart and she never wanted me to know. But I would never tell her I told you so. Like I said. Lane made her grow up. Maybe it was you. Well it has to be you. Lane wouldn't be here if it weren't you."

"Sometimes I think I'm not good enough for her."

"Cause you aren't." She snaps looking at me sideways. "But that doesn't mean you aren't capable of being what and who she needs. Your worth is not what makes you undeserving of her. It is your reputation. Your Mr. Steal a Girl."

I laugh. "Did you recently learn that?"

"I listened to a song or two of yours."

"You think outside of my fame persona..."

"Outside of Trey Songz."

I nod. "Only that part of me deserves Cammie?"

"Are you looking for some answer?"

"I just like what you said. It would be nice to hear it again."

She makes her eyes big. "Go hear it from your wife."

"But she is mad at me."

"Okay, she is mad at you. Did she stop loving you?"

I nod my head. "Okay. Let's go by the house then go to the beach with Lane."

"Where is Caden? At the house?"

"Yes."

She nods her head while smiling. "Okay."

I nod. "Good."

[iamrheaspeaks]

You Owe Me!

I haven’t written shit in years and prose isn't really my genre but this is happening 🤷🏾‍♀️ I’m forcing myself to post. Lightly proofread. But anyway, here’s my little OC! baby...

A/N: Bold italics are song lyrics

Word Count: ~1750

Warnings: None?!

Milly had been running on autopilot all day. Only getting four hours of sleep, and didn’t have time to smoke before work. Plus, she was just sick of being affected by everyone’s negative energy. You could understand why she couldn’t wait to just get home and shower away the filth of all things today. Ishe was still sleep in bed when Milly got in, “Let me tip toe my way into the bathroom”, she thought to herself.

As the hot water from the shower ran over her, Milly started to feel less bogged down from today’s events. Finally letting out a deep breath she hadn’t realized she was holding on to. Her whole body relaxing as the tension washed away down the drain with the suds. After finishing the rest of her shower routine Milly makes her way into their bedroom. Ishe’s now awake, sitting in bed watching dumbass fight videos on WorldStar.

“How was work?” Ishe asked not even bothering to look up from his phone.  

“Absolute shit! The fucking AC broke in the whole damn building and there was mandatory staff training today. Being stuck in a room full of sweaty balls, desperation and body heat is a FUCKING nightmare”! Milly recants as she searched through the small pile of clothes on her side of the bed for a specific pair of pajama shorts. As Milly continues to rant Ishe begins to make his way over to the desk in the opposite corner of the room.  

“Damn!” Ishe manages to squawk out before silently laughing, suddenly more glad that he was off today. And he would never admit it but it was kinda turning him on, “Imma load up Coral for you so you can get some down time. Sounds like you need it”! He turns to face forward in the seat to continue loading when he adds on, “Plus, I’m kinda scared for my boys” losing focus again and instinctively grabbing his junk with his non-dominant hand. Looking at her briefly through the mirror Ishe begins taking in just how compromising Milly’s current position is. Bent over at the waist totally oblivious to her surroundings, head deep in a pile of clothes that all happened to be varying shades of black, completely nude.

“You should be!” Milly chuckled while rolling her eyes at his half-failed attempt to lighten the mood. Coral is Milly’s three-piece; 3D printed stackable water pipe. Couldn’t 100% compare to the glass piece she normally used but it was a good conversation starter. And the bitch hit, HARD! “Anyway…thank you! I’m probably gonna take a hit or two, clear my Instagram and then come down stairs so we can finally go out and do the food shopping”. Ishe already in motion to the door at this point since he was done with Coral, paused slightly to look over his shoulder back to her with his left eyebrow raised, “Bet!”

 ~

 “Damn!” Ishe says to himself looking at the time on his phone and realizing that Milly is probably dead to the world. On his way to use the bathroom he peaks his head in the room to see and sure enough, she was knocked out. “Food shopping my ass”, Ishe thought to himself continuing to head to the bathroom. On his way out, after having decided to just go to the store without her Ishe stopped to take in the sight before him. Milly was sprawled out on the bed in nothing but a pair black running shorts with a pink trimming. They accentuated her ass, which made them his favorite. The lack of a top left Milly’s back tattoo on display. Full sized angel wings with the quote “angels speak to those who silence their minds long enough to hear” in script tracing along her spine pulling the whole piece together. Of all her tattoos this was the one that made Ishe worship the ground Milly walked on. It was mostly because of the deliberate imperfections she had the tattoo artist incorporate. Milly was adamant about the wings looking frayed and slightly scorched. Burned even, as if she literally fell from heaven. She had fallen asleep with her phone in her right hand and with her left on the side of her face making it look like she was adjusting her glasses. Feeling his dick twitch Ishe stuck his tongue out, licking his bottom lip while looking to his phone for the time. “Fuck! Let me get this damn store before it get busy.” Ishe thinks to himself running down the stairs. Ignoring his slight erection.

~

 Shameful to say she woke up about 3 hours later to a quite house and messages from Ishe.

Ishe:

You owe me!

I had to go food shopping by myself 😭

I’ll be back soon though. I’m down the street catching up with Ace. I love you miss!

Still kinda groggy she rereads his messages before dragging the screen from right to left so she could see the time stamp. Eyes shooting to the top of the screen at the time, “FUCK!” Milly shouted while sitting up and fixing her glasses. “Did I really just knock out for 3 fucking hours? What the fuck?” She questioned as her fingers hovered over the phone momentarily thinking of what to finally reply to Ishe.

Milly:

I’m sorry daddy! I guess I was more tired than I thought. Love you too! 💋

Milly smiled to herself as the message sent. She then proceeds to grab one of Ishe’s oversized shirts that she’s claimed and made her way the kitchen to find something to eat. Waking up with the munchies is a bitch!

“…I, I'm a do you dirty/ Say you love me now, baby, it's too early/ I, I'm a do you dirty/ You think you love me now, I think you should be worried…” Milly was dancing around the kitchen shoving her face with fruit while singing along to Kehlani’s “Do U Dirty” when Ishe returned home with Ace in tow. Ace was Ishe’s good friend he met a couple jobs ago and they just stayed in touch. Plus, he was pretty reliable when your personal connect was out of town. The three smoked, chilled and blurted out their random stoner thoughts while watching Ridiculousness. And would all slightly cringe every time Chanel laughed uncontrollably.

 ~

Milly can’t really register when it happened but eventually she was gone to the point where the only things on her mind were sex and sleep. Thinking to herself “Yup, I’m definitely fucking high”! Immediately after the image of riding the shit out Ishe popped into her head. Biting her lip, her core clamped down on nothing, just as her bundle of nerves pulsed at the thought simultaneously. Making it even harder to push the now intrusive images out her mind.

 “…I'm your doctor, when in need/ Want some coke, have some weed/ You know me, I'm your friend…” Curtis Mayfield’s “Pusherman” suddenly blaring from Ace’s plug phone finally broke Milly out her thoughts. She looked up to see Ishe staring at her. Her eyes grew wide as her clouded mind registered that she was squeezing her thighs together. And to make things worse, she was still biting her bottom lip. Ishe raises his eyebrow and glides his tongue across his bottom lip when their eyes meet. The motion causing Milly to shutter in her seat as a chill ran up her spine under his hungry gaze. She could feel his eyes undressing her but couldn’t will herself to look away. Ishe was the first to break the intense glance, to look over at Ace. The sound of his voice made his presence remembered.

 “Yeah I got you ma. Give me 15” Ace responding to the person on the phone before hanging up, “Yo, Ishe, I’ll catch you later bruh. This fine girl that found me on Instagram tryna buy a quarter”. “Uh huh nigga. Whatever.” Ishe responds with a half smirk, it’s obvious he didn’t believe Ace at all. “You are such a man whore Ace! Don’t let your bad guy antics rub off on Ishe or we gonna be fightin!” Milly interjected while gathering things for their retreat upstairs since their company was leaving. Ishe and Ace both side eyed each other before letting out a huge laugh looking back at Milly. Ace responding to her threat, “You know I learned everything I know from YO nigga right?” thumb pointing to her beau. Ishe fake gasped and clutched his imaginary pearls before backhanding Ace in the arm catching him off guard, “Don’t be telling my girl that shit man!”  Milly just shock her head at their childishness and continued her way up the stairs.

 ~

 Ishe finally begin to go upstairs after playing Xbox Live with his cousin for a few games of Black Ops. Milly’s knocked out clutching a stuffed elephant from Ikea in the center of the bed with the light and TV on. Abandoning the shorts she looked so hard for back into the pile, now only wearing Ishe’s shirt. Left leg bent at the knee causing the shirt to rise up, leaving her ass fully exposed. The sight alone was teasing Ishe, almost daring him to do something. The buzz from the weed was starting to fully take over along with the feeling of his dick making his pants tight once again. Ishe couldn’t help but to act on the images that flashed through his mind while staring down at Milly from the doorway.

 Slowly moving to hover over Milly, Ishe further examined the current state of his lover. Her copper colored skin was begging to be caressed. Her thick thighs untouched by any marks or ink. Full round bottom looking inviting as fuck. Ishe’s hand twitched as the urge to smack it came over him, “Not yet” he thought bringing his slight inner turmoil to a halt. Bypassing what was underneath that shirt for now, he started to make Milly stir underneath him. Ishe showered her with deliberate and needy kisses along the back and right side of her neck. When Ishe gently sucked on that sweet spot right behind Milly’s ear it earned him a sleepy moan right before Milly let out a weak “Mmm?” before scrunching up her face and prying her eyes open. Attempting to familiarize herself with the now pitch black bedroom. Just as she’s starting to come to, Milly’s whole body grows stiff as Ishe leans back down barely hovering over her with his mouth a feather’s touch away from her ear. “I told you...You owe me!” Ishe’s voice deep but barely above a whisper as he slowly inched inside of her…

Final Notes:

I’m a sucker for unisex names with interesting meanings 🙃

Milly- Latin origin: means hard worker of gentle strength

Ishe- African origin: means God, lord or leader

@savagesensitivity @another-imaginesblog @cancerianprincess

[cabeswaterlovesthem]

Vancouver Crowd

I don’t know if anybody else has headcanons for these boys but I have noticed a lack of them. So here are some bits I’ve written up for each of the boys of the Litchfield House please feel free to add on to these! I used what little info we had about them from the books to form some bullets. 

HENRY BROADWAY AKA CHENG2

Known as Cheng2 not because we was the second Cheng, but rather the second Henry. He sort of embraces this though because him and Henry have been best friends since private primary school and have been attached at the hip for years.

Cheng2 was always the shy one which is how he ended up being the 2. He didn’t really like to let anybody get too close to him and prefers to have only a few close friends over a big group.

But the reserved side of Cheng2 ceased to exist when he started at Agliony. Henry managed to form a group around him that made Cheng2 feel comfortable and included. Soon, his louder side was coming out.

One of the things about being the shy guy was that he spent a lot of time not really talking to anyone so, because of it, when he does open his mouth, usually it’s to say something unbelievably stupid like “Holy fuck, we got girls?” but yah know.

He’s a fucking economics wiz and plans on majoring it. He’s pretty much Ivy League bound which is fine by him. He doesn’t know what getting burnt out feels like. He works incredibly hard for his good grades and hasn’t found that they have come easy to him like some of his other friends. But he lives for success. He has goals and he’s going to achieve them and nobody is going to stop him.

That’s probably because he’s constantly drinking a red bull to stay up studying until 4am and then smoking a bowl to fall asleep. The other perk of being The Shy Guy at school is that nobody knows when you show up high to class. He’s taken advantage of this fact multiple times.

RYANG (WOO?)

Ryang (aka Mrs. Woo’s nephew) is a piece of fucking work my guys let me tell you.

Ryang is always pissed about something happening in the world and has to do something about it. If there’s a charity drive happening at Aglionby you can imagine he is behind it.

There are about 20 cats roaming around Litchfield House and they’re all there because Ryang saved them from a kill shelter two summers ago. They all have names after famous activists (although one is named Beyonce after a long winded argument with Henry in which Henry sorted every good thing Beyonce has ever done for the world) and they all have collars.

Ryang can often be found sleeping in a bed with five cats because all his anger exhausts him so much that he needs to take a lot of naps. This is extremely frustrating to Koh who likes to cuddle but is slightly allergic to cats and all the hair that collects in Ryang’s bed is just too much.

He drives a motorcycle and has his own custom helmet made that Koh designed for him. Did I get to the part where they’re both in love with each other but won’t admit it? Maybe that’s a story for a different night.

One time Ryang tied himself to a tree on Aglionby’s campus to save it and all the Vancouver boys rallied enough support around him that the tree stayed and the plans for a new media center were moved to another location on campus.

His favorite kind of music is classic rock and, no offense to Henry, but he can’t stand pop. He only tolerates it when he’s drinking with the guys. He also lightens up a bit when he’s drinking and is often the one to initiate weird games.

But otherwise, he’s generally standoffish but Koh softens his edges a lot. He doesn’t mean to be standoffish, but he’s staunch in his opinions and demands his peers learn to be better. It comes from years of dealing with privileged white boys in his classes.

Him and Cheng2 often have heated discussions about policy and the latest United Nations topics.

KOH

Koh is almost the opposite of Ryang. He’s a ball of energy who is actually quite liked by everybody. He is on the student government at Aglionby because of his generally positive attitude and friendly nature.

He’s acquaintances with pretty much everybody at school and has a way of making everybody feel included.

Probably because he’s a team player from being a fricken soccer star. It’s insane how good he is. He works out for it but most of it is absolutely natural skill and when he’s not at Litchfield he’s probably on the pitch.

Koh is crazy smart but he couldn’t give half a shit about half his classes. His interests include the finer things in life like golfing on the weekend and drinking fancy drinks at a club house. He’s a little flippant with his money which drives Ryang fucking nuts sometimes but he always shuts him up by showing up to every single one of Ryang’s fundraisers- even if they do start at ass o’clock in the morning.

His grades are good but he really doesn’t try and honestly? High school is a bust. He already has plans to go to business school and take over the family’s pharmaceutical company (but hopefully only after he plays in the premier leagues for a bit).

There is one class that he tries in and it’s music. He sort of loves mixing records together and will often steal the speakers away during parties to control the music. He doesn’t really think he can pursue it, but the boys have been really encouraging him to not give it up. Secretly Koh wants to be encouraged….

As much as him and Ryang are polar opposites in a lot of ways (he’s materialistic where Ryang is minimalist) their heated debates are usually dripping with tension. And when Ryang sneaks downstairs into Koh’s cat-free room to sleep, they don’t talk about it in the morning.

(To be perfectly honest, the book wasn’t clear about whether or not SickSteve, Logan, or Lee-Squared live at Litchfield but I don’t care for the sake of this headcanon. They live there now. Welcome home, boys.)

SICKSTEVE

Bruh, you know what you have to do to get a nickname like that? A lot of sick shit that’s what.

SickSteve is the epitome of awesome and has the wildest stories. Like one time he went to the Vatican and puked in the holy water because he was too hungover.

And another time he skateboarded off a roof into a pool and broke his arm.

Literally there isn’t a weekend that Steve doesn’t have a story for on Monday morning. And it isn’t like he’s trying hard to do shit- it’s just his nature to be wild.

He owns a BMW but it’s his third one so far because he keeps finding ways to fucking total them by accident trying to do donuts too close to a building or some shit. It’s literally insane.

The crazy thing is he’s so calm and nonchalant about it all. Like you would not at all guess by his demeanor at school that he’s such a crazy guy, but the minute he starts telling you a story your jaw can’t not hit the ground in shock.

And he’s always somehow convincing the guys to pull stupid shit with him. He’s crazy persuasive about it and thanks to him most of the other guys’ lives have gotten a lot more fun. He’s the reason for their toga parties 99% of the time because they just want to see what will happen after he takes a few shots and a hit of weed.

But perhaps the wildest thing about Steve is that he is the biggest movie buff any of them have ever met and can quote over a hundred movies from start to finish. It would be annoying if Steve didn’t turn the volume down and improv half the time. He’s just got this good humor about him that everybody likes to be around but will shrug when you tell him he’s funny.

LOGAN RUTHERFORD

He’s basically their classic fuckboy who they constantly rag on for having a white boy name.

Logan is the resident lax bro of the house due to the fact that 1. he does play lax and 2. he’s actually that obnoxious about it.

He wears bro tanks and backwards hats and spends a ton of time at the gym. Protein shakes are pretty much his staple and he tries to convince the whole house to get into shape to no avail. So instead, they dedicated one cabinet to all his health food junk and tell him they weren’t going to touch it anyways.

He’s the beer pong champion of the house and likes to brag about it a lot. He’s also the one who supplies most of the alcohol as his family lives in town and his brother is attending college nearby.

His family is old money which is weird for their little group. Nobody knows the backstory though because Logan doesn’t get along with his father. His parents are divorced and he was raised by his mother and step father instead. Thankfully the divorce settlement was insane so his mother made out like a bandit. Which Logan thinks is karma because his father is a dick.

He gets pretty terrible grades in school because he’s more focused on sports and it pisses his dad off when he sends his report card.

He seems like he doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of them, but the truth is that Logan has a really big heart, he just keeps it on lockdown. He had a tough time growing up that he doesn’t talk about a lot but has opened up to his friends about. Because of that, they put up with his bro bullshit for the guy who would drop absolutely anything to be there for them if they asked.

More than once he’s been the friend they’ve called at 4am to come pick them up or the one they’ve gone to crying after a really bad day. He’s a good listener and a great hugger and knows how to make things better with a smile and some froyo.

LEE-SQUARED

He’s known as “Lee-Squared” because he has a twin sister (who Cheng2 has a huge fucking crush on which drives Lee-Squared absolutely nuts). 

Lee is actually his last name but he prefers to be called that anyways so it works out. 

He’s incredibly insanely close to his family and it’s hard to be away from them during the school year. He’s from California and fucking hates the east coast winters to be honest.

He’s got the west coast sort of attitude too. Super laid back. Absolutely surfs in the summer. Is cold 99% of the time and is always turning the heat up and driving the house nuts. Smokes a shit ton of weed with Cheng2.

Generally he’s pretty quiet, even when he drinks. He’s big on observing and people watching over participating in events. 

He’s the only one who will eat Logan’s healthy meals and goes running with him sometimes. 

Lee-Squared is also a huge fucking nerd who loves reading and writing and psychology and anything that involves personal connection. He’s taken up yoga and mediating and is always looking for ways to find his calm.

The reason why is because while his exterior is calm, his mind is usually moving a mile a minute. He’s got pretty bad internal anxiety but he doesn’t like to talk about it a lot. He’s pretty self deprecating and second guesses himself a lot. Him and Logan talk about it sometimes and the runs with Logan sometimes help him turn his brain off for awhile. 

Him and Logan become even closer after sharing their backgrounds and really support and love the heck out of each other. They don’t externally appear soft ever, but truly they are. 

Anyways, all the Vancouver boys are good good boys who I love and adore thanks for listening! 

Edit: I worked really hard on these and did as much research as I could but I may have missed things from the book so feel free to point them out and I will add them! Like someone mentioned Koh was on the soccer time so I have since amended my headcanon. So as a general disclaimer, I tried my best here but do not be afraid to be like, “Hey, actually, this makes more sense based on their character!”

[ecotone99]

[RO] All Night Study Session

Attraction got Levi and Stella together, but what kept them together was shared values. Hard work topped the list.

They lay opposite each other on Stella’s kitchen floor, surrounded by a jungle of pillows, towels, and pencil shavings. Neither noticed the clock strike 3am; if they had, they wouldn’t have cared.

Levi gnawed on his eraser, willing himself awake, but the diagrams blurred into darkness. Stella heard his hair bristle against the pillows. “Hey, heyyyy” she nudged with her foot. “I’m up!” Levi shook his head and flipped the page with feigned determination.

“Want some ice?” Stella pushed the bowl towards him. “I want a pizza.” “Stores are closed.” “Ughhhh this town sucks.” “How are you complaining, your town doesn’t even have stores at all.” “False dichotomy.”

Levi sank back into the pillows. “Not on my watch.” Stella declared, though she secretly hoped he’d insist so they could sleep without her being the one who gave in.

“All night study session, not 3am study session. Let’s go. You’re not gonna cure the common cold in your sleep.” “Do you really think that’s all pharmaceutical researchers do night and day?” “I don’t think that, but I hope it.” “I’m doing a sleep study.” Levi mumbled, turning over.

“Alright, up, up, come on, we’ve got to move around.” Stella pulled Levi’s arms, even as he tried to go dead weight like a dog resisting a trip to the vet.

Stella turned on some music and turned up the air conditioning. “Stand! Come on. You’ve been working on the same project too long, let’s switch.” “This exam is all I’ve got.” “Do mine then, I’ll look at your problem sets for Thursday.” “Fine—what?” “Look at them Levi, with my eyes.” “...ok, just, do not write on anything. Not even in pencil, got it?” Stella snorted. “Anyone can do this, big shot.” She snatched the paper away. “Fine, what am I doing?” “Writing a paper on religious symbolism in Joseph Conrad’s early novellas.” “Oh, of course. Can’t get hired with a solid benefits package if you don’t know... that.” “Shut up.”

Levi was shivering even with his coat on. He knew he’d have an easier time staying awake if he took it off, but Stella loved touching his arms when he wore leather, so lately he wore this jacket all the time.

His baleful hazel eyes scanned Stella’s writing. He could bullshit for at least five minutes about this stuff at a cocktail party, on a confident night, but he didn’t really have any clue what was going on. He decided to go through and hide innuendos in her earlier pages.

Stella couldn’t bullshit about Levi’s project for five seconds, because she couldn’t pronounce half these words. She read to herself, carefully.

“You decide to make a genomic DNA (gDNA) library from Plant X. Below are statements that might describe a type of DNA library. Indicate if the statement describes a gDNA library, a cDNA library, both types of libraries or neither by circling the appropriate word.

(i) the library is “kept” in bacteria gDNA, cDNA, both, neither

(ii) making the library requires they enzyme reverse transcriptase gDNA, cDNA, both, neither”

Levi was tracking her. He wished she’d written about Melville instead of Conrad. Moby Dick lent itself to a lot more cheap jokes than Heart of Darkness. Stella shattered his concentration.

“Got a sharpie in here?” “Why?” “I’m circling ‘neither’ on all the questions—never mind, found one. Oooh, and it’s pink!”

Her trick worked, Levi was wide awake. “I’ll take that.” He launched himself on top of her, faking her out with his right hand and grabbing back the sheet with his left.

He laughed realizing she couldn’t even decipher a page from his easy class. “Time is up. You fail college. Pack your things.” “Well let’s see how you fared professor” Stella sneered as she pulled her laptop over. “Congo line dancing? Is that really the best you could do? Oh—oh wow. Never mind. You win. Oh poor Nellie. Oh, they need to christen that ship again.”

Levi stuck an ice cube in his mouth, even as the cold worked it’s way under his skin. He cringed to think of diving back into his anatomy flashcards.

“Let’s pause academics. Let’s go pre-professional.” “Emails?” “Emails.”

Levi felt like a puppet operated by strings of willpower as he cracked his spine to a standing position and unzipped his book bag, searching for his tablet.

He flipped the case open, thank God, still had some battery life.

He made his way to the couch. Stella’s kitchen and living room were open concept. He patted the cushion next to her. “My ass can’t handle the floor for another six hours, join me.”

Stella eased into the spot next to him. She took a mental snapshot of the moment. All those lonely nights she dreamt of having a boyfriend, it wasn’t wild sex or expensive gifts she was dreaming of. It was someone who’d want to sit up with her all night, requiring nothing special to entice him there.

Levi started to type an email to a professor he wanted to cozy up to for a spot on their next research team. Stella sent a few follow up emails to alumni she had been pumping for interview prospects.

Levi stopped typing. Stella was so engrossed, she hardly noticed. “Stel?” “Yah? Hold on.” “Never mind.” “No, I’m just—“ Stella skimmed her email, removed a few exclamation points so she’d sound less crazy. “What’s up?”

Levi shifted uneasily. “Nothing.” “Not nothing.” Stella shut her laptop. Levi bit his bottom lip. “Do... do you worry about me?” “Is this because I’ve been checking to see if you’re still breathing while you sleep? I didn’t think you knew, I thought you were sleeping. I saw this YouTube video about sudden death syndrome, and you usually snore a little, so when you don’t—“ “Sudden death? Wait, I snore? I ok—No. No, I didn’t mean that. I didn’t know about that. We, uh, we do need to talk about that. Later though. Do you worry whether or not I’m going to be a success?” “Like what, like financially?” “I guess, yah.” “Bruh, I’m an English major. That would be a tad bit hypocritical of me, no?”

She went back to her email. He didn’t. She realized this must go deeper. “What?” “I said it already.” “Why would I be worried about your financial success?” “Are you proud of me?”

Stella knit her eyebrows and placed a hand on his knee. “That’s a very broad question. I mean, no matter how you sharpen it, the answer is yes. But I’d appreciate some context.”

“I just overheard some girls talking and they were all like ‘hey my boyfriend’s on the pre-med track’ or ‘my boyfriend has an offer from Goldman and McKinsey and they’re bidding each other up’. And I realized, if you’d been in that group, I don’t know what you would’ve said.”

Stella sighed, wrapping her arms around her gentle giant. “Your worth is not measured by your professional aspirations. Not to me, not at all. But that being said—“ Stella cleared her throat for her best snotty prep school voice “Well Levi’s on track to be the salutatorian. Not that he cares, he doesn’t get grades to win titles, he does it because he believes in the purpose of the research.” “Damn. Well, ok. I like that.”

Stella was too tired to muster an adequate reply, she just turned her attention back to clearing her inbox. But a seed had been planted. Levi had switched his browser to a GTA live stream when he thought Stella was distracted. She was.

“Levi!” He slammed his tablet case closed “What? It’s for class, you don’t win, I didn’t break— ok maybe it isn’t. Five minutes Stella. I didn’t call you out when you were on reddit and—“ “Not that. I just realized something.” “What?” Levi silently cursed himself for not keeping his mouth shut. He was so close to winning the all nighter. Maybe she’d forget.

“Your friends must do the same thing, what do you tell them? You’re in an impressive department with a clear career path and grad school aspirations. Do they think I’m not good enough for you?” Levi was not prepared to field this question. No matter how he answered, he would upset her.

“We don’t talk about that.” “Bullshit.” “That’s... are you going to make me say it?” “No, you’re going to say it of your own volition because you value an open exchange of communication with me and trust me not to judge you.” “On most things, sure, but...” “Levi—I’ve been up since 6am yesterday. I’m in the mood for direct statements only.” “We compare looks. Not brains. I mean, smarts also, but I heard the way the girls were talking about their boyfriends jobs. It had nothing to do with the job and everything to do with how much status was granted to the girlfriend for hooking a guy with that job. Men don’t do that. Not the ones I know at least. I mean, yah, if you were an astronaut or won an Oscar or something, I’d brag about it. But they’d be as impressed as if you had, like, really nice boobs. Which you do! But—come on, you’re setting me up to fail here.” “Are you censoring yourself?” “Sure fucking am. I can already tell you hate this answer. I’m not digging a deeper hole.” “Well, of course I hate it, you’ve got nothing to brag about!” “Did I say that? Ever?” Levi protested.

Any remnants of sleep that remained in Levi scattered far away in all directions. “Come on, what are you talking about?” Levi presser. Stella was pulling away from him. What did he say? What could she possibly mean by that? She drew a shaky breath.

“Your friends are dating tall girls who watch makeup tutorials and they’re really skinny and their boobs are the same size and—“ “I never would’ve noticed that about your boobs if you didn’t tell me. And now that I know I only think about it when you bring it up. They are not that different.” “So you admit that they’re different!” Levi sat in silence, trying to pick his next words very carefully.

“I wouldn’t want to objectify you by quantifying your worth by your looks...” Stella’s jaw dropped to the floor. “So I was right, you don’t have anything to brag about.” She said it cooly, but each word was like a dagger in her heart, a mace shredding apart what little self esteem she had before the conversation began.

“Oh my God, you’re getting ahead of me. I said I wouldn’t want to objectify you, I wasn’t finished. I don’t want to, I don’t like it, it makes me uncomfortable and it feels misogynistic and wrong and whenever I talk like that I feel like somehow my mom can sense I’m talking bad about women... but I do. Of course I do. How can I not? You give me like a toastmaster’s seminar worth of things to discuss. You’re a fucking trophy Stella. Your personality is why I consider you that way, but that’s not what I one up my friends with when we’re stupid drunk and trying to impress each other. Ok?” “Ok.”

Levi prayed that would be the end of it. Not hard enough. “Ok....? So, what do you say?” “You’re going to get mad at me.” “Total amnesty. As long as I like what you said.” “Oh my God.”

Levi brushed his hair back and decided honesty was the best policy. Not only because he half suspected Stella would be sending her friends out to fact check his statements by the end of the night, but also because he was beginning to suspect she’d figured out a tell for when he was lying.

“I don’t want you to take any of this too seriously. I mean, it’s all good stuff, but like I don’t think of you like a gross pervert leering through a window checking off mental boxes of likes and dislikes.” “What dislikes?” “Oh my God Stella! Come on!” “Sorry, sorry, keep going.” He was rethinking his honesty policy and called an audible to a “whatever she responds best to” policy. “Ok. Um... like, well... I always talk about how you’re a good kisser.” “Boring.” “Uh... ouch. I am complimenting you.” “You’re skipping details. No way you and your friends sit around just going ‘oh yah man, my girlfriend is such a good kisser’ ‘wow, hot’.” “Are we fighting?”

Stella realized how she might be coming off. It didn’t even occur to her Levi might take it as her escalating things. “No. No, fuck. This doesn’t have anything to do with you, I should not be taking it out on you, you don’t deserve it. I’m just deeply insecure about my appearance and... I worry. I worry that I’m... that... you know.” “Clearly I don’t know. We’re past that.” “That you got like, the short end of this deal.” “Deal? What deal? Oh my God. Deal like the relationship, like I’m not lucky to be with you?” Levi stammered. She looked past him.

Levi did his best to recapture the bravado with which he usually delivers this type of speech. “She’s like a Fast Pass bro. You know, like at Disney world? She is all the rides, and there’s no line.” He saw her face fall. “Not that guys aren’t after her, I mean I want to punch these moronic fucking Sigma guys in the teeth the way they look at her like they’re slick.” He added that bit in just for her self image. It was true, but he didn’t go around saying it to people.

“No line like, usually girls that hot play mind games, you know? They answer your texts for a while, but then they don’t. They introduce you as their boyfriend, but then it’s just ‘and that’s Levi’ for a while. Or they post an ominous photo of some guy you’ve never seen on their insta and make you feel like the crazy one for asking about him. She doesn’t pull any of that. She could, easy. But she doesn’t.”

He searched Stella’s face for any signs of relief. None. He didn’t want to go into much more detail but he had a feeling he’d have to give her the whole penthouse letter before she’d let up. “The sex is, to use her word, bananas. But the foreplay is wild. Bro, did you know you can cum from making out? I had no idea and I probably never would have if I didn’t meet her. I don’t know what it is.”

He thought he might be detecting the faintest edge of a smile. He had to stay in this vein. He usually did with some variant in real time, anyways. “I mean, I know a little what it is. She’s got these ginormous titties, like a blow up doll. You’ve got to check it out, next time you see her just look at her and think to yourself ‘that bra isn’t padded’ and then wish you were me.”

He skipped the long stretches where he’d be shutting up so his friends could swap stories and tests to tell if boobs were real or fake, or argue over which they preferred, all while Levi made mental notes of who in the room was a virgin and completely making their shit up as they went along.

“She’s got actress hair. Like it looks like it should come off when you pull on it. But it’s all natural. She doesn’t dye it, nothing. I love that about her. What you see is what you get. I never wake up next to a different woman than the one I got into the bed with. You know?”

Levi had been a virgin before Stella and he hated that he’d just tipped his hand to her that he might have fabricated few past lovers to his friends, but she seemed to finally be almost enjoying herself, so he soldiered on.

“Her eyes, man. It’s like a white girl manga. The longer I look at them the bigger they get. I get so lost, google maps couldn’t get me out.” (He didn’t say this to his friends either, but he thought it all the time, so figured it couldn’t hurt for her to hear it.) He wondered if he was flattering her or sounding like a colossal dork forcing a lot of cheesy lines. He figured at worst, he’d settle for both.

He debated telling her this next part, but it was the thing he volunteered about her most on the rare occasion he did get in a dick measuring contest with other guys about their girlfriends. “But get this, dude, when she stays over, half the time... I wake up in her mouth. No, really. I don’t know if she just likes it or likes me but, breakfast is the most important meal of the day so, who am I to deprive her, you know?”

Stella burst into a fit of laughter. “Yo, you ask why I don’t want to be open and vulnerable, this is why.” Levi chided, more lighthearted than when the exchange began.

“Sorry, just... wow. You’ll never tell me what you actually say, huh?” “Not in this lifetime Stella. I touch on some of those same topics, but, yah. You don’t need to know exactly what I say.”

“You’re just so fucking, ugghhh, you’re so hot, Levi. Your like one of those rugged cowboys from a 1960’s cigarette ad, but you’re smart. I mean, fuck.” She kissed him like she was seeing him for the first time.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess.” Levi muttered. “What do you mean?” “I don’t lack confidence the way you do, but I’m not hot. It just doesn’t bother me that I’m not hot.” “Are you kidding? You’re like a walking lump of muscle and pheromone.” “As long as I am to you, that’s all I care about.” “You don’t think you’re sexy?” “I’m a heterosexual man, Stella. I don’t think any creatures with a dick are sexy. The fact that you willingly come within ten feet of my junk never stops surprising me. I mean, have you ever looked at any woman and thought ‘damn, she’s sexy’” “I mean, no, but” “Ok. So think of all the supposedly hot women you’ve seen. If even like, supermodels you see, or porn stars or, I don’t know, like, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, aren’t enough to make you go ‘damn that’s sexy’ then how could you ever think that about your own body. A body you know every horrible, disgusting, idiosyncrasy attached to?” “I guess I can’t.” “That’s right. But if that ever changes, and you do find a woman you think is sexy, it can be my birthday, Christmas, and anniversary presents from then until the end of time if you bring her over and touch her while I watch.”

Stella laughed so hard she teared up. Levi didn’t get it. “I wasn’t joking.” He realized as she gasped for breath between heaving chortles that he’d have to set that dream aside for now. “Yah, haha, funny. Joke.” He rolled his eyes.

“You know what I really love?” Levi inquired, looking at her closely, trying and failing to see her as she saw herself. “No, what?” “Waking up next to a stunning woman. But I can’t do that if I never go to sleep, you feel me?” “Well... maybe just a few minutes rest.” Stella conceded, laying her head in his lap. He wanted to complain that he couldn’t lie down that way, but he was so tired he didn’t really care.

He put one hand on Stella’s ginormous titties. He said a silent prayer that she could see herself, even if just for an moment, the way Levi saw her all the time. And he waited until she’d drifted off to snap a selfie of her passed out and text it to her with a time stamp. “I won.”

Once he slipped into dreams and his hand relaxed, dropping his phone to signal he’d gone to sleep, Stella cautiously maneuvered her hand to her jeans pocket, — careful not to disturb Levi’s hand — she liked it just where it was.

She snapped another selfie of his head cocked back, mouth half open in a light snore, her smug smile in his lap. Her fatigued pallor matched only by her competitive enthusiasm. She sent the photo with a new, later time stamp, and the message “Nope. I won.” And hit send.

But as she laid in his lap, feeling safe and cared for, basking in the glow of his sweet and well intentioned words she’d given him such a hard time about, she reconsidered. She angled the camera lens and shut her eyes, snapping a photo of them both asleep, his hand on her boobs, her free hand on the leather jacket. She sent that, with the final time stamp, and caption “It’s a tie.”

submitted by /u/Nightingale_Effect [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/36qofit

[samanthasroberts]

Southern Charm Recap: Can They Get Any More White?

I have emerged from my two-day hangover solely to write this weeks recap. Guess killing brain cells is one of my hobbies now.

When we left off I wasnt sure if I was Team Kathryn or Team Whitney, and I dont think thats ever going to get resolved tbh. However, I did just notice Kathryns facial expression in the opening sequence more or less sums up her entire personality.

Thomas and JD, back at it again with the polo. Cause that ended really well the last time. Can they get any more white?

Whitney has some fruit salad and is making coffee and Larissas like, If that’s cooking, I’m about to be the next winner of.

Whitney trying to explain what going steady means to Larissa is pretty hilarious tho.

Kathryn andKody? Corey? Fuck, I forgetare getting a seaweed facial or some shit, AKA Bravo is pampering them so they can talk shit in style. Nice.

Kathryn is bummed that once she has her baby she has to go home alone with her two children.

Kathryn: Im a 24-year-old soon-to-be mother of two. If you dont think Im overwhelmed and nervous then you dont think.

Wow that was like, unnecessarily aggressive Kath.

Cooper? Cooper! Calls Thomas a 50-year-old playboy and is like,

Cooper: Instead of letting it frustrating you I just say let it strengthen you.

Cooper is the moral compass this show needs.

Meanwhile Thomas is sipping bourbon with JD on his porch because Kathryn really needs him.

JD: Hows the baby? Thomas: The doctor said fine… JD looks skeptical, because Im sure he knows better than a trained doctor.

JD: Kathryn moving up the due date seems awfully peculiarseems suspect.

JD is a regular Hardy Boy over here.

JD: I think women dont like being asked for paternity tests.

NO FUCKING SHIT.

JD is like, and Thomas is like, Its clear hes forgotten who hes about to have a kid with because Kathryn is NOT going to be down with Thomas basically accusing her of slutting it up and then trying to trap him into fatherhood. JUST SAYING.

Its date night with Craig and Naomie. Craig chooses going to L.A. over the biggest event for his company, because hes never been to L.A. before. And Craig wonders why hes not allowed to head a bourbon division. I don’t foresee this ending well AT ALL. Craig, youre a fucking idiot and for once Naomie is in the right to tell you youre fucking up.

Craig: Do you see how hard Im trying to justify this?

Yeah, because you KNOW YOURE IN THE WRONG. Thats literally what justification is.

Cameran and Landon meet up for a candle-making class and I am kind of jealous because that low-key sounds fun. Landons explaining her travel guide to Cam, so Im going to take a quick nap.

Cameran: I think its hard for Landon bc she was a typical Southern stereotype of the woman who got married young and was taken care of and she doesnt have that anymore.

Wait, how is this the first Im hearing of this failed first marriage? How has this NEVER come up before this season??

Cameran: So any man prospects? Landon: IDK not really its kind of sad and pathetic.

Landon is like Same tho. Cameran: Do you think the reason youre not meeting anyone is because you want something to work out with Shep? Landon:…Yeah

Cameran and I are both like, FINALLY!

*Cue a montage of them looking really couple-y* I’m rooting for you guys!

Landon brings up every middle schoolers dilemma which is that if she dates Shep, then shell lose him as a friend. Can we get like, a violin quartet to score some melodramatic music or something?

Craig and Shep make it to L.A. and Whitneys bachelor pad is sick. I guess this is what that Bravo money gets you. On an unrelated note, I have a very compelling idea for a new reality show, if you wanna get on board Bravo, Ill get you in at the ground level.

Craig: I wouldve had FOMO if I hadnt gotten to come out heresothanks.

Whitney: Meh whatevs

Whitney: #NewCraig has taken on this persona thats like, not chill dude.

Whitney basically lets it go with the caveat that he may never fully trust Craig again. Eh, Im sure theyll be fine.

Shep: You know when youre perfectly drunk and youre really good at pool? Is that like when Im really drunk and I think Im really good at dancing?

Classic Shmosby.

Larissa crashes the boys weekend which is not at all chill. Larissa is, I guess, the WGG of the group.

Shep: Should I change? I dont want to look all fratty and Southern.

Well that ship sailed like, approximately 36 years ago. Whitney makes a joke about waking up in the morning covered in blood and vomit. Was he secretly with me and my friends this weekend? Unclear. V. possible.

These two slutty-looking blondes show up and Shep is in fucking heaven. Craig low-key wants to kill himself.

Whitney: The goofy, disarming thing works in Charleston but not so much in L.A.

I’m sorry, Whitney, but who you callin goofy? You’re not exactly a chiseled Greek god over there. Whitney takes a casual shot at Craigs bourbon knowledge, or lack thereof, and now that hes gotten that off his chest this friendship is back on track.

The aftermath of Whitneys party looks a lot like the scene I dealt with Sunday morning. So, like, maybe they really were there.

Whitney: The marker of a good boys weekend is a pool of vomit with a partially digested meatball in the middle.

Whitney talks about how Shep didnt get any last night and Whitney said he had a meeting with Hand Solo which made me LOL.

Sheps like, and Im getting soooo mf sick of this trope. I am convinced Shep just acts this way because y’all expect him to be a fuckboy and nobody challenges him or holds him to a higher standard. Also, there’s just no way his dick games that good. THERE IS NO WAY.

JD is on the phone with Paula and SURPRISE, Craig basically didnt do shit for this festival yet still wants to be head of the bourbon division. The entitlement is strong with this one. Craigs phone is dead, party casualty, so JD is calling around to all Craigs friends like the angry dad he is. Did I mention this was dumb af, Craig?

Also, LMAO at how hungover they all look. Their hangovers are giving me life.

Craig: I just feel like Im being used to do all the bitchwork and its annoying. I lied, THIS is the whitest thing to happen on this show.

Shep: People take work too seriously. What happened to just drinking beer and laughing your balls off?

Yeah Shep, I think this may be why your restaurant is struggling to pay the rent.

Thomas and Kathryn are discussing the ins and outs of labor, which I will file away for future knowledge. Thomas calls Kathryn an expert at giving birth which is like, kind of rude lol. But I guess also accurate?

Kathryns opening up to Thomas about being alone this time around, looking up at him with big doe eyes, and Thomas is like,SHUT DOWN.

Thomas: The timing is really bad for me, could you just like, not give birth rn?

Kathryn: Thats why I like having you around, youre like a calming presence IDK why.

Kathryn, do you know what calming means? Im starting to think not.

Back at Whitneys, some massage therapist named Megan shows up, and Shep clearly has a boner.

Shep: So youre gonna give us all massages now?

Megan: Its like holding space to really connect more with yourself.

Shep is blatantly sexually harassing this poor girl. JFC. This is so creepy. Tone it the fuck down.

JD & Co. is launching his bourbon line at Charleston Cup, this horse race in Charleston. Craig is nowhere to be found, shockingly.

JD: Work isnt all roses and cherries. Sometimes its dirt and trenches.

Im putting that on a needlepoint for my office.

Sheps not going because his grandpa died. OK thats actually like, very sad. My condolences.

We will now resume with our regularly scheduled program of shit-talking.

Craig is taking forever to get readyCraig and Chad from are both the secret Betches interns.

Craig is hungover with an upset stomach and a sinus infection, which is literally what happens to me every time I drink. AKA right now. We’ll get through this, Craig. Emergen-c and green tea all mf day.

Cams like,

Craig apparently slept in and didnt do anything to help JD set up. Which, Im not surprised by, but again, is a really bad move for when youre trying to show initiative.

Cameran: #NewCraig is starting to run its course because at this point hes becoming #OldCraig

Dannis dropping some random whiskey fun facts and Craig is like, Fuck the bourbon division, Im not sure Craig is qualified to have any job at Gentry HQ, PERIOD. How the fuck is he going to be a lawyer if he never wants to do work? He’s gonna have a rude awakening if he ever makes it to first-year associate (I have heard).

Craig is there for all of two minutes and is already like, fuck this Im leaving.

Oh JK Craig didnt actually leave. JD gives a speech and what do you wanna bet Craig is gonna get shafted in this thank-you speech?

Wait for it..

BOOM. SHAFTED. I called it.

Cameran is so into this race its scary. How much money did she put down on that horse? Judging by her reaction to losing, Id say a lot.

Once again JD is dressed like a 1920s fat cat. Live your truth, JD.

JDs like, and Craig is like,

JD: Do you think you should have gone out of town? Craig: I mean Ive never had to give up a trip for a job so

Oh boy, Craig. I fear for you in the real world. I really do.

At Kathryns, she and Thomas are eating dinner. Kathryns going into labor tomorrow morning. I hope they dont actually film her birth. That would be kind of fucked.

Thomas: I want to have a traditional family, hear the shnookums running around, hear the house fill with laughter.

Lol, “shnookums” only makes me think of one thing:

Thomas: I still love Kathryn, I care about her but Im afraid a day of reckoning is forthcoming.

UH OH.

Kathryn asks Thomas how he feels and he says hes apprehensive and shes like, BRUH, FEEL APPREHENSIVE?!

Kathryn: If I say anything mean to you tomorrow just give me a free pass.

OK thats fair, she is giving birth and all.

Kathryn gets up and eats some generic brand Lucky Charms before giving birth. I take it all back, she really is struggling with money.

OK low blow. Sorry. Kind of.

Seeing the sheer amount of diapers in Kathryns house is enough to make me never forget to take my birth control.

Thomas: For some reason, maybe through divine intervention we were brought together. Steven Spielberg I believe said, Ive made a lot of movies, but my greatest creation of all was a child.

So I wonder at what point Thomas is gonna be like Who am I kidding, theyre gonna drag that out at least over the course of another epsiode.

OK enough shit-talking from me. That baby is cute. What did they name him?? How they gonna leave us hanging like that?

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

Source: http://allofbeer.com/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/03/16/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/

[jimdsmith34]

Southern Charm Recap: Can They Get Any More White?

I have emerged from my two-day hangover solely to write this weeks recap. Guess killing brain cells is one of my hobbies now.

When we left off I wasnt sure if I was Team Kathryn or Team Whitney, and I dont think thats ever going to get resolved tbh. However, I did just notice Kathryns facial expression in the opening sequence more or less sums up her entire personality.

Thomas and JD, back at it again with the polo. Cause that ended really well the last time. Can they get any more white?

Whitney has some fruit salad and is making coffee and Larissas like, If that’s cooking, I’m about to be the next winner of.

Whitney trying to explain what going steady means to Larissa is pretty hilarious tho.

Kathryn andKody? Corey? Fuck, I forgetare getting a seaweed facial or some shit, AKA Bravo is pampering them so they can talk shit in style. Nice.

Kathryn is bummed that once she has her baby she has to go home alone with her two children.

Kathryn: Im a 24-year-old soon-to-be mother of two. If you dont think Im overwhelmed and nervous then you dont think.

Wow that was like, unnecessarily aggressive Kath.

Cooper? Cooper! Calls Thomas a 50-year-old playboy and is like,

Cooper: Instead of letting it frustrating you I just say let it strengthen you.

Cooper is the moral compass this show needs.

Meanwhile Thomas is sipping bourbon with JD on his porch because Kathryn really needs him.

JD: Hows the baby? Thomas: The doctor said fine… JD looks skeptical, because Im sure he knows better than a trained doctor.

JD: Kathryn moving up the due date seems awfully peculiarseems suspect.

JD is a regular Hardy Boy over here.

JD: I think women dont like being asked for paternity tests.

NO FUCKING SHIT.

JD is like, and Thomas is like, Its clear hes forgotten who hes about to have a kid with because Kathryn is NOT going to be down with Thomas basically accusing her of slutting it up and then trying to trap him into fatherhood. JUST SAYING.

Its date night with Craig and Naomie. Craig chooses going to L.A. over the biggest event for his company, because hes never been to L.A. before. And Craig wonders why hes not allowed to head a bourbon division. I don’t foresee this ending well AT ALL. Craig, youre a fucking idiot and for once Naomie is in the right to tell you youre fucking up.

Craig: Do you see how hard Im trying to justify this?

Yeah, because you KNOW YOURE IN THE WRONG. Thats literally what justification is.

Cameran and Landon meet up for a candle-making class and I am kind of jealous because that low-key sounds fun. Landons explaining her travel guide to Cam, so Im going to take a quick nap.

Cameran: I think its hard for Landon bc she was a typical Southern stereotype of the woman who got married young and was taken care of and she doesnt have that anymore.

Wait, how is this the first Im hearing of this failed first marriage? How has this NEVER come up before this season??

Cameran: So any man prospects? Landon: IDK not really its kind of sad and pathetic.

Landon is like Same tho. Cameran: Do you think the reason youre not meeting anyone is because you want something to work out with Shep? Landon:…Yeah

Cameran and I are both like, FINALLY!

*Cue a montage of them looking really couple-y* I’m rooting for you guys!

Landon brings up every middle schoolers dilemma which is that if she dates Shep, then shell lose him as a friend. Can we get like, a violin quartet to score some melodramatic music or something?

Craig and Shep make it to L.A. and Whitneys bachelor pad is sick. I guess this is what that Bravo money gets you. On an unrelated note, I have a very compelling idea for a new reality show, if you wanna get on board Bravo, Ill get you in at the ground level.

Craig: I wouldve had FOMO if I hadnt gotten to come out heresothanks.

Whitney: Meh whatevs

Whitney: #NewCraig has taken on this persona thats like, not chill dude.

Whitney basically lets it go with the caveat that he may never fully trust Craig again. Eh, Im sure theyll be fine.

Shep: You know when youre perfectly drunk and youre really good at pool? Is that like when Im really drunk and I think Im really good at dancing?

Classic Shmosby.

Larissa crashes the boys weekend which is not at all chill. Larissa is, I guess, the WGG of the group.

Shep: Should I change? I dont want to look all fratty and Southern.

Well that ship sailed like, approximately 36 years ago. Whitney makes a joke about waking up in the morning covered in blood and vomit. Was he secretly with me and my friends this weekend? Unclear. V. possible.

These two slutty-looking blondes show up and Shep is in fucking heaven. Craig low-key wants to kill himself.

Whitney: The goofy, disarming thing works in Charleston but not so much in L.A.

I’m sorry, Whitney, but who you callin goofy? You’re not exactly a chiseled Greek god over there. Whitney takes a casual shot at Craigs bourbon knowledge, or lack thereof, and now that hes gotten that off his chest this friendship is back on track.

The aftermath of Whitneys party looks a lot like the scene I dealt with Sunday morning. So, like, maybe they really were there.

Whitney: The marker of a good boys weekend is a pool of vomit with a partially digested meatball in the middle.

Whitney talks about how Shep didnt get any last night and Whitney said he had a meeting with Hand Solo which made me LOL.

Sheps like, and Im getting soooo mf sick of this trope. I am convinced Shep just acts this way because y’all expect him to be a fuckboy and nobody challenges him or holds him to a higher standard. Also, there’s just no way his dick games that good. THERE IS NO WAY.

JD is on the phone with Paula and SURPRISE, Craig basically didnt do shit for this festival yet still wants to be head of the bourbon division. The entitlement is strong with this one. Craigs phone is dead, party casualty, so JD is calling around to all Craigs friends like the angry dad he is. Did I mention this was dumb af, Craig?

Also, LMAO at how hungover they all look. Their hangovers are giving me life.

Craig: I just feel like Im being used to do all the bitchwork and its annoying. I lied, THIS is the whitest thing to happen on this show.

Shep: People take work too seriously. What happened to just drinking beer and laughing your balls off?

Yeah Shep, I think this may be why your restaurant is struggling to pay the rent.

Thomas and Kathryn are discussing the ins and outs of labor, which I will file away for future knowledge. Thomas calls Kathryn an expert at giving birth which is like, kind of rude lol. But I guess also accurate?

Kathryns opening up to Thomas about being alone this time around, looking up at him with big doe eyes, and Thomas is like,SHUT DOWN.

Thomas: The timing is really bad for me, could you just like, not give birth rn?

Kathryn: Thats why I like having you around, youre like a calming presence IDK why.

Kathryn, do you know what calming means? Im starting to think not.

Back at Whitneys, some massage therapist named Megan shows up, and Shep clearly has a boner.

Shep: So youre gonna give us all massages now?

Megan: Its like holding space to really connect more with yourself.

Shep is blatantly sexually harassing this poor girl. JFC. This is so creepy. Tone it the fuck down.

JD & Co. is launching his bourbon line at Charleston Cup, this horse race in Charleston. Craig is nowhere to be found, shockingly.

JD: Work isnt all roses and cherries. Sometimes its dirt and trenches.

Im putting that on a needlepoint for my office.

Sheps not going because his grandpa died. OK thats actually like, very sad. My condolences.

We will now resume with our regularly scheduled program of shit-talking.

Craig is taking forever to get readyCraig and Chad from are both the secret Betches interns.

Craig is hungover with an upset stomach and a sinus infection, which is literally what happens to me every time I drink. AKA right now. We’ll get through this, Craig. Emergen-c and green tea all mf day.

Cams like,

Craig apparently slept in and didnt do anything to help JD set up. Which, Im not surprised by, but again, is a really bad move for when youre trying to show initiative.

Cameran: #NewCraig is starting to run its course because at this point hes becoming #OldCraig

Dannis dropping some random whiskey fun facts and Craig is like, Fuck the bourbon division, Im not sure Craig is qualified to have any job at Gentry HQ, PERIOD. How the fuck is he going to be a lawyer if he never wants to do work? He’s gonna have a rude awakening if he ever makes it to first-year associate (I have heard).

Craig is there for all of two minutes and is already like, fuck this Im leaving.

Oh JK Craig didnt actually leave. JD gives a speech and what do you wanna bet Craig is gonna get shafted in this thank-you speech?

Wait for it..

BOOM. SHAFTED. I called it.

Cameran is so into this race its scary. How much money did she put down on that horse? Judging by her reaction to losing, Id say a lot.

Once again JD is dressed like a 1920s fat cat. Live your truth, JD.

JDs like, and Craig is like,

JD: Do you think you should have gone out of town? Craig: I mean Ive never had to give up a trip for a job so

Oh boy, Craig. I fear for you in the real world. I really do.

At Kathryns, she and Thomas are eating dinner. Kathryns going into labor tomorrow morning. I hope they dont actually film her birth. That would be kind of fucked.

Thomas: I want to have a traditional family, hear the shnookums running around, hear the house fill with laughter.

Lol, “shnookums” only makes me think of one thing:

Thomas: I still love Kathryn, I care about her but Im afraid a day of reckoning is forthcoming.

UH OH.

Kathryn asks Thomas how he feels and he says hes apprehensive and shes like, BRUH, FEEL APPREHENSIVE?!

Kathryn: If I say anything mean to you tomorrow just give me a free pass.

OK thats fair, she is giving birth and all.

Kathryn gets up and eats some generic brand Lucky Charms before giving birth. I take it all back, she really is struggling with money.

OK low blow. Sorry. Kind of.

Seeing the sheer amount of diapers in Kathryns house is enough to make me never forget to take my birth control.

Thomas: For some reason, maybe through divine intervention we were brought together. Steven Spielberg I believe said, Ive made a lot of movies, but my greatest creation of all was a child.

So I wonder at what point Thomas is gonna be like Who am I kidding, theyre gonna drag that out at least over the course of another epsiode.

OK enough shit-talking from me. That baby is cute. What did they name him?? How they gonna leave us hanging like that?

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

source http://allofbeer.com/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2018/03/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any.html

[adambstingus]

Southern Charm Recap: Can They Get Any More White?

I have emerged from my two-day hangover solely to write this weeks recap. Guess killing brain cells is one of my hobbies now.

When we left off I wasnt sure if I was Team Kathryn or Team Whitney, and I dont think thats ever going to get resolved tbh. However, I did just notice Kathryns facial expression in the opening sequence more or less sums up her entire personality.

Thomas and JD, back at it again with the polo. Cause that ended really well the last time. Can they get any more white?

Whitney has some fruit salad and is making coffee and Larissas like, If that’s cooking, I’m about to be the next winner of.

Whitney trying to explain what going steady means to Larissa is pretty hilarious tho.

Kathryn andKody? Corey? Fuck, I forgetare getting a seaweed facial or some shit, AKA Bravo is pampering them so they can talk shit in style. Nice.

Kathryn is bummed that once she has her baby she has to go home alone with her two children.

Kathryn: Im a 24-year-old soon-to-be mother of two. If you dont think Im overwhelmed and nervous then you dont think.

Wow that was like, unnecessarily aggressive Kath.

Cooper? Cooper! Calls Thomas a 50-year-old playboy and is like,

Cooper: Instead of letting it frustrating you I just say let it strengthen you.

Cooper is the moral compass this show needs.

Meanwhile Thomas is sipping bourbon with JD on his porch because Kathryn really needs him.

JD: Hows the baby? Thomas: The doctor said fine… JD looks skeptical, because Im sure he knows better than a trained doctor.

JD: Kathryn moving up the due date seems awfully peculiarseems suspect.

JD is a regular Hardy Boy over here.

JD: I think women dont like being asked for paternity tests.

NO FUCKING SHIT.

JD is like, and Thomas is like, Its clear hes forgotten who hes about to have a kid with because Kathryn is NOT going to be down with Thomas basically accusing her of slutting it up and then trying to trap him into fatherhood. JUST SAYING.

Its date night with Craig and Naomie. Craig chooses going to L.A. over the biggest event for his company, because hes never been to L.A. before. And Craig wonders why hes not allowed to head a bourbon division. I don’t foresee this ending well AT ALL. Craig, youre a fucking idiot and for once Naomie is in the right to tell you youre fucking up.

Craig: Do you see how hard Im trying to justify this?

Yeah, because you KNOW YOURE IN THE WRONG. Thats literally what justification is.

Cameran and Landon meet up for a candle-making class and I am kind of jealous because that low-key sounds fun. Landons explaining her travel guide to Cam, so Im going to take a quick nap.

Cameran: I think its hard for Landon bc she was a typical Southern stereotype of the woman who got married young and was taken care of and she doesnt have that anymore.

Wait, how is this the first Im hearing of this failed first marriage? How has this NEVER come up before this season??

Cameran: So any man prospects? Landon: IDK not really its kind of sad and pathetic.

Landon is like Same tho. Cameran: Do you think the reason youre not meeting anyone is because you want something to work out with Shep? Landon:…Yeah

Cameran and I are both like, FINALLY!

*Cue a montage of them looking really couple-y* I’m rooting for you guys!

Landon brings up every middle schoolers dilemma which is that if she dates Shep, then shell lose him as a friend. Can we get like, a violin quartet to score some melodramatic music or something?

Craig and Shep make it to L.A. and Whitneys bachelor pad is sick. I guess this is what that Bravo money gets you. On an unrelated note, I have a very compelling idea for a new reality show, if you wanna get on board Bravo, Ill get you in at the ground level.

Craig: I wouldve had FOMO if I hadnt gotten to come out heresothanks.

Whitney: Meh whatevs

Whitney: #NewCraig has taken on this persona thats like, not chill dude.

Whitney basically lets it go with the caveat that he may never fully trust Craig again. Eh, Im sure theyll be fine.

Shep: You know when youre perfectly drunk and youre really good at pool? Is that like when Im really drunk and I think Im really good at dancing?

Classic Shmosby.

Larissa crashes the boys weekend which is not at all chill. Larissa is, I guess, the WGG of the group.

Shep: Should I change? I dont want to look all fratty and Southern.

Well that ship sailed like, approximately 36 years ago. Whitney makes a joke about waking up in the morning covered in blood and vomit. Was he secretly with me and my friends this weekend? Unclear. V. possible.

These two slutty-looking blondes show up and Shep is in fucking heaven. Craig low-key wants to kill himself.

Whitney: The goofy, disarming thing works in Charleston but not so much in L.A.

I’m sorry, Whitney, but who you callin goofy? You’re not exactly a chiseled Greek god over there. Whitney takes a casual shot at Craigs bourbon knowledge, or lack thereof, and now that hes gotten that off his chest this friendship is back on track.

The aftermath of Whitneys party looks a lot like the scene I dealt with Sunday morning. So, like, maybe they really were there.

Whitney: The marker of a good boys weekend is a pool of vomit with a partially digested meatball in the middle.

Whitney talks about how Shep didnt get any last night and Whitney said he had a meeting with Hand Solo which made me LOL.

Sheps like, and Im getting soooo mf sick of this trope. I am convinced Shep just acts this way because y’all expect him to be a fuckboy and nobody challenges him or holds him to a higher standard. Also, there’s just no way his dick games that good. THERE IS NO WAY.

JD is on the phone with Paula and SURPRISE, Craig basically didnt do shit for this festival yet still wants to be head of the bourbon division. The entitlement is strong with this one. Craigs phone is dead, party casualty, so JD is calling around to all Craigs friends like the angry dad he is. Did I mention this was dumb af, Craig?

Also, LMAO at how hungover they all look. Their hangovers are giving me life.

Craig: I just feel like Im being used to do all the bitchwork and its annoying. I lied, THIS is the whitest thing to happen on this show.

Shep: People take work too seriously. What happened to just drinking beer and laughing your balls off?

Yeah Shep, I think this may be why your restaurant is struggling to pay the rent.

Thomas and Kathryn are discussing the ins and outs of labor, which I will file away for future knowledge. Thomas calls Kathryn an expert at giving birth which is like, kind of rude lol. But I guess also accurate?

Kathryns opening up to Thomas about being alone this time around, looking up at him with big doe eyes, and Thomas is like,SHUT DOWN.

Thomas: The timing is really bad for me, could you just like, not give birth rn?

Kathryn: Thats why I like having you around, youre like a calming presence IDK why.

Kathryn, do you know what calming means? Im starting to think not.

Back at Whitneys, some massage therapist named Megan shows up, and Shep clearly has a boner.

Shep: So youre gonna give us all massages now?

Megan: Its like holding space to really connect more with yourself.

Shep is blatantly sexually harassing this poor girl. JFC. This is so creepy. Tone it the fuck down.

JD & Co. is launching his bourbon line at Charleston Cup, this horse race in Charleston. Craig is nowhere to be found, shockingly.

JD: Work isnt all roses and cherries. Sometimes its dirt and trenches.

Im putting that on a needlepoint for my office.

Sheps not going because his grandpa died. OK thats actually like, very sad. My condolences.

We will now resume with our regularly scheduled program of shit-talking.

Craig is taking forever to get readyCraig and Chad from are both the secret Betches interns.

Craig is hungover with an upset stomach and a sinus infection, which is literally what happens to me every time I drink. AKA right now. We’ll get through this, Craig. Emergen-c and green tea all mf day.

Cams like,

Craig apparently slept in and didnt do anything to help JD set up. Which, Im not surprised by, but again, is a really bad move for when youre trying to show initiative.

Cameran: #NewCraig is starting to run its course because at this point hes becoming #OldCraig

Dannis dropping some random whiskey fun facts and Craig is like, Fuck the bourbon division, Im not sure Craig is qualified to have any job at Gentry HQ, PERIOD. How the fuck is he going to be a lawyer if he never wants to do work? He’s gonna have a rude awakening if he ever makes it to first-year associate (I have heard).

Craig is there for all of two minutes and is already like, fuck this Im leaving.

Oh JK Craig didnt actually leave. JD gives a speech and what do you wanna bet Craig is gonna get shafted in this thank-you speech?

Wait for it..

BOOM. SHAFTED. I called it.

Cameran is so into this race its scary. How much money did she put down on that horse? Judging by her reaction to losing, Id say a lot.

Once again JD is dressed like a 1920s fat cat. Live your truth, JD.

JDs like, and Craig is like,

JD: Do you think you should have gone out of town? Craig: I mean Ive never had to give up a trip for a job so

Oh boy, Craig. I fear for you in the real world. I really do.

At Kathryns, she and Thomas are eating dinner. Kathryns going into labor tomorrow morning. I hope they dont actually film her birth. That would be kind of fucked.

Thomas: I want to have a traditional family, hear the shnookums running around, hear the house fill with laughter.

Lol, “shnookums” only makes me think of one thing:

Thomas: I still love Kathryn, I care about her but Im afraid a day of reckoning is forthcoming.

UH OH.

Kathryn asks Thomas how he feels and he says hes apprehensive and shes like, BRUH, FEEL APPREHENSIVE?!

Kathryn: If I say anything mean to you tomorrow just give me a free pass.

OK thats fair, she is giving birth and all.

Kathryn gets up and eats some generic brand Lucky Charms before giving birth. I take it all back, she really is struggling with money.

OK low blow. Sorry. Kind of.

Seeing the sheer amount of diapers in Kathryns house is enough to make me never forget to take my birth control.

Thomas: For some reason, maybe through divine intervention we were brought together. Steven Spielberg I believe said, Ive made a lot of movies, but my greatest creation of all was a child.

So I wonder at what point Thomas is gonna be like Who am I kidding, theyre gonna drag that out at least over the course of another epsiode.

OK enough shit-talking from me. That baby is cute. What did they name him?? How they gonna leave us hanging like that?

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/171944066947

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 209

MiMi

"Me and my mama taking the kids to Chicago."

I look at the phone. I was ignoring him on purpose. "Try me Devin."

He snickers. "JJ. Your mama said have fun in Chicago. What little boy?"

"What did he say?"

"It sound like he called me a damn fool. What did you say boy?"

JJ had a sad look on his face. "I not talking to you, Daddy."

"What did you say?"

"It's a swim pool." He says turning to the book he had in front of him. "It a big swim pool."

"Look at you bothering my baby. You are a damn fool."

Dee comes back to the phone. "You always fuck me good before you leave. Come back."

I suck my teeth. "Wasn't nothing special, stupid. You had the choice to come."

"I told you that you could go by yourself. Just my selfishness that wants you here now. I don't really miss you."

I roll my eyes. "Bye, baby daddy."

He gets mad about that. "Yea."

"I'm just playing. I love you."

"Aight." He hangs up.

I laugh. He being so serious with his stupid self. I continue laughing to myself. I had been standing outside of the building on the balcony looking at the city. I only been here for a few hours but I miss my kids and my annoying husband. He has been being a sweetheart with his mother in town. I don't think he wants her to stay.

"Bae, why are we out here?" Cammie snaps.

"I'm out here. Who told you to come out here?"

She looks back into the club then rolls her eyes. "Stay out here. This fool."

"Cammie." August Alsina says coming up with a drink. "I was trying to tell you about my song."

"What song?" I retort.

He leans closer to Cammie. "Remember you were always saying shit like August you too young. And all that shit about waiting. Well I just used it to write a song. But on some real shit, a nigga was hurt when he found out you had a fucking family."

"August really?" She snaps.

"For real. This the first time we really had the chance to talk. I respect your relationship. So look... I'm trying this smoothie shit trying to get my health right. Taste the nasty as stuff."

Cammie pushes it away. "I don't know where your mouth been."

"Not on you." He snickers. "No, look. I never drunk any."

"Well I don't want it." She snaps.

He leans a bit closer to her. I lean over the balcony rail looking at the street below. She starts laughing really hard. I glance back at them. What's so funny now that he whispering? He wipes his face then chuckle as he walks away.

"What was that whispering?"

"Girl stop. That motherfucker wouldn't have a chance in hell."

"Girl he would be perfect in hell. A real temptation."

She giggles. "Well right now he a fucking disappointment. I'm good and loyal to my jackass of a husband. Who probably fucking cheating on my ass right now. I swear I want to go to where he is and jack him up. Slap him around for the old and the new. Like I swear MiMi if this bitch suddenly decides he wants to out of the blue cheat on me... it's over. Bye bye Mr. Sexy. Imma swell that pretty face all up."

"Yeah okay."

"Seriously, I'm too good to him."

"Bae, you fucking are." I say hugging her. "You know my ass will get that dick regardless."

She hugs me lightly then push me away. "Yeah, Dee's dick. You trying to act like you be cheating as much as he does. Shut up."

"Why are you out here?" Amber yells. "Guess who I see?"

"Kim."

She shrugs. "No. Christopher."

Cammie sucks her teeth. "I heard that him and Trey did not fix shit."

"Girl they got in a damn fight for some dumb reason he has yet to tell me. He fucking came home and walked straight pass me. I'm sleep on the couch waiting for him to come home. Then fucking play it off like he was looking for me when he came home. Or maybe his dumbass just walked pass me. Either way they stupid as hell."

Cammie swats her hand in the air. "I'm like 48 hours away from saying fuck this marriage and fuck this glamour life. Like I'm not even the same person I was 3 years ago. I try to walk around here and act like I am. But bitch let somebody tell me that I have to wait for a table or fucking wear a fucking no name brand ass shirt."

"You so damn dumb." I laugh.

"What's going on with your marriage?"

"Are we here for Amber to suddenly become a friend or are we here to celebrate my birthday?" I spat making my eyes big.

Amber puts her hand in my face. "Bitch, bye. Your damn birthday was yesterday."

I grab her and start humping her. "Let me fuck some sense in you!"

"You are too damn much!" Amber laughs while failing to get me away from her.

"Imma go dance with that guy right there." Cammie says walking away.

I look at where she going. "What guy?"

But she was already gone. I walk into the club looking for her. Amber starts laughing then points through the crowd. Cammie was pulling Chris' neck down to her so he would lean over. He shakes his head then she let's him go.

"Bitch not dancing with my man tonight." Amber says walking away.

"You bitches crazy."

 Buggiz

"I'll go check to see if the car is outside." I say walking away from Trey.

He acting very shitty. I don't know where it came from but he is. He was acting like he didn't ask me to come be with him. CiCi could have sensed how fucking weird he was acting and took it upon herself to call me. Either way he didn't ask me to leave. So I'm just going to be here to make sure nothing happens.

"The car is outside. You have bags?"

"Naw." He says putting his hands in his pockets and walking off.

See that's the attitude I'm talking about. Down and depressed. He usually perks up a bit after being left alone for a while. I need to watch him closer. I don't see how he could have took something. He doesn't have any bags with him.

"I mean... Buggiz you don't have to come to the house."

"The hotel?"

He shrugs. "Yeah you don't have to come."

"I just want to see you get there. I won't stay."

"I'm not feeling people treating me like I can't do shit for myself right now. I can get to the hotel fine alone."

I shrug. "And feces can sustain life."

"What?"

"Right." I say opening the car door for him.

He gets into the car. I step to the front seat and get in next to the driver. I take my job more serious than my friendship with him. Fuck being friends if you are putting your life in danger. We not discussing what is best for the friendship. He may not even fucking talk to me for a while after this. But he can't fucking stop me from riding to this damn hotel. Because no matter how much of a jackass he wants to be the true will always be that he can't safely roam any street he wants. Especially not Miami. Especially since he carrying cash.

"This is a bit secluded." I say looking around.

"Exactly why I didn't need you."

I get out and open his door. "I said a bit."

He walks away without another word. I follow behind him but stay far back. Sorta so he will forget about me and I can stay around a bit.

"Enjoy your stay." The man shouts just a little too loud after Trey abruptly walks away.

"Buggiz." Trey says then gets in the elevator.

I don't answer him. I just get into the elevator. He really not gonna let me come into his room. I can already tell. For one he didn't hand me a key which usually happens. Even if I'm staying in another room he would hand me one of his keys. But he puts them in his pocket along with his hands. Business it is, Trey Songz. I'm walking you to this damn room.

"I'm here." Trey says opening the door.

"Damn, I never been here. I can't at least check out the room?"

"You fucking with me." He says pushing the door open wide and walking in. He gets on his phone. "I texted you the address already. Where are you at? Yeah."

I walk out of the bathroom nodding. "Aight."

"Yeah." He says.

He up to no fucking good. You can kick me out your room all day. Dont fucking mean I have to go anywhere. I go downstairs in the lobby and stand around watching people come in and out. I mean it was very boring but I wanted to know who he was inviting over.

"Buggiz my nigga!"

"Forrest." I say reaching my hand out.

He looks around. "Why you out here?"

I shrug. "Bruh, acting shitty."

"Yeah, I know. I heard from Ma about that fight him and Chris had. Bruh, acting real messy. Like why you at a private villa when you got a house that fucking looks like this shit? I was fucking enjoying myself at his house."

"He call you here?"

Forrest gets irritated. "Hell yeah for some clothes. Like nigga. Go to your damn house. I don't know."

"I wish I would have gone with him when he went to talk to Chris. I'm sure that has something to do with the way he acting."

"Hell, maybe." Forrest says walking away.

"I'll be down here."

I snap my head up. Forrest was standing off from me looking pissed. I look at my watch. Damn was that even a minute? 5 minutes? Why he down here so fast? What the hell does he have going on? Trey? I stand up really fast going to him.

"Everything okay?" I snap.

"Yeah." He looks at me still zoned out. "I'm trying to figure out what he just said to me."

I shake my head. "Did he take something?"

Forrest shrugs. "Imma go park this car. I wasn't gonna stay but this man crazy right now."

"If he let's you stay around do that. I'd feel comfortable with leaving as he wants me to."

"Yeah, alright."

I nod. Imma go tell him that I'm leaving for real and see if he tells me what he taking. I stop in the hallway and put my hand out stopping the girl from walking by me. Oh fuck no. I'm not about to let no shit like this happen. I'm only making fucking assumptions at this point. You get rid of me because your ass trying to fucking cheat on your wife? Nope. Fuck you as a damn friend.

"Oh damn, Bae, Trey asked me to text you. I forgot." I say boldly. If she wasn't here for Trey I would simply make some shit up.

"Call me for what?" She says smiling.

Aye hell she playing my card. "He has to get on the plane ASAP."

She sucks her teeth looking down the hall. "He texted me like 2 minutes ago."

"Emergency. Family first."

"Fuck some fucking family first. I told him not to fuck with me." She says turning and walking away.

Hold the fuck up. I look back behind me. Trey changed his damn room? When? Got damn it. I ain't dealing with this bitch. I watch the girl as she waits for the elevator with an attitude. Forrest steps out when it stops. He looks the girl up and down.

"Shelia." He says.

"How about tell your fucking brother to kiss my ass." She says kissing Forrest.

He wipes his face as the elevator closes. "What kinda fucking shit?"

I chuckle. "Interception." I do the Heisman. "Done."

"Was that that Instagram girl?"

"Fucking saw her in Cali a few months ago being friendly. Figured I would give it a try. Trey moved rooms."

Forrest shrugs. "I don't know. Why he being stupid? Cammie gonna kill his ass. You know she fucking friends with Cammie's cousin?"

"That girl?"

"That girl." He snaps. "She was at the baby reveal."

I nod. "That's why she so bitter so fast."

"She probably gonna fucking tell some crazy shit regardless."

"Damn, I'm glad I walked up the stairs. Let's not let him ruin his marriage. Deal?"

Forrest shakes his head. "Dumbass gonna try real hard. Deal though."

"I ain't going to talk to him now. I'm going to Cali. Keep Cammie mind right."

"Aight. I got the easy job." He chuckles walking pass me.

[bigdoodoohead]

Do all the even numbers!

o, fack, sorry for the long post everyone

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

Yeah, 3 years isnt that big of a gap... I dated a 17 year old when i was 14 :^)

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

I do every day, gotta surprise them old people by not being angsty

6. How do you look right now?

Devastatignly handsome

Hair’s in a bun, in my star wars pj bottoms, semi curled up in my desk chair. Chest is greasy bc bepanthen bc tattoo

8. How often do you listen to music?

Every time I’m doing something that doesnt require my ears. Background gaming music, walking, studying, sometimes in lectures, all the damn time

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2018?

Boi nah only got a month

12. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I have literally been in this position and said ‘Go get him.. suck his dick gal’

14. Can you drive manual?

I can’t drive for shit I failed my test lul

16. Are you going out of town soon?

I only just got back into town from London (tattoo)

18. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

No i always plan the wedding before speaking to the girl

20. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

A shit tonne of uni work

22. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

Yah the same one who i told to suck her crushes dick, we had a confusing relationship falling for each other at different times, but we’ve always been best friends

24. What are you sitting on right now?

My gaming chair :D

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yeah see above ya dingus. Plus a few others who said yes to dating me then kinda fizzled out

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

No i just get tonsillitis all the damn time 

30. Does anyone hate you?

I dont know and i dont have the kind of energy to find out or care

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

Kind of, but not many are genuinely written well

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

When I was 15. Met my ex that year through formspring (who was a mega fucked up individual), had some of the worst fights of my life and on top of that i was an embarrassing emo kid so yeah, that one, or when i was 16

36. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

Yeah the one mentioned above a few times and my best mate through secondary school

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

I think my housemate has a tiiiny bit of a crush on me, but i dont think anyone finds me that great if im honest. For a start i dont even know that many people

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

I spent 2 hours getting stabbed for £100 an hour so yeah, loved it. My chest is finished though and i love it

42. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

Similar. All I’ve done is mature slightly and grow a bit of facial hair. I don’t do really hard drugs any more, i drink a little less, i dont wear fucking leather jackets and bandannas to clubs anymore lmao. Don’t have dreads and pertain to a psytrance/heavy metal stereotype any more. I’m just a bit better put together, although my parents are fully divorced now and winter really fucks me up worse every year

44. What’s the best part about school?

The best part about school was being with so many of my friends every day. At uni, its that I have so much free time

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

At uni, no. In secondary, we’d pass crude drawings

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Single every summer bruh someone date me

50. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

my last texts are to/from Vodafone, Every1activ, Yahoo, Cloak and Dagger tattoo studio, VodafoneUK and Customer Service in that order.

After is my mum, and heck yeah shes beautiful

If youre talking social media DMs which is what I use, then yes, the last people I spoke to are attractive, why would i lie about this