#I keep making the mistake of not REMOTELY cleaning up lines and doing all cleaning in the colors. Um. Don't do that girl.

[twilightarcade]

OC-tober day 11 - hot cocoa palette!

[suhkusa]

EGOIST 20.

PAIRING. Atsumu Miya x f!Reader

CW. angst, hurt no comfort, the aftermath of past chapters

A/N. me when

-> MASTERLIST.

Everything you did was on impulse. 

You acted before thinking things through rationally and it was chaotic.

Your heart and head hurt so bad, you felt like there was nothing more that you could do except sob and mull over your mistakes.

Mistake.

You felt absolutely stupid for thinking something was different. Something would change. But the universe came around and found the worse way, the worse person, to prove you dead wrong. 

To make matters worse, you were depressed and jobless. At this rate, you’d have to move back home with your family and work at a local retail store, and you were not going back to that lifestyle if you could help it.

On the brighter side, your emails from news outlets and your notifications from social media had finally begun to slow. At this point, it’s been a week since the initial incident.

The only person you’ve kept in touch with from your former job was Kiyoomi. According to him, the emails hadn’t slowed on his end, but that was to be expected since he was the center of many fangirls’ attention.

He’d keep you at least a little sane when you felt your mentals decline. 

As for the other man, you hadn’t heard or seen anything of him. Which was definitely for the best. You were actually surprised he hadn’t shown up at your door, because your threat to call the police if he came was half-empty.

And you absolutely hate yourself, because even though you know he did you extremely wrong, there’s a sliver of you that misses him. That wishes that he hadn’t been the cause of all your hurt so that he could be the one who is comforting you.

But the world is cruel and so was Atsumu.

———

You had expected it to take months to find a new job, but after you had helped manage a champion team, the calls came in faster than you could answer.

There were too many good offers, even offers from teams that MSBY had beaten. You took the easy way out of each call by telling them that you’d get back to them ASAP. You’d probably have to research the teams and players before really considering or accepting a job offer. 

Other than job-hunting, you found yourself at home nearly all day. You’d play video games with Sakusa or just do some cleaning around the house. You’d found a new hobby with gardening in your spare time. Though, you weren’t very good at keeping them alive.

If not doing any of that, you’d be caught up in your head. Whether it be thinking of the past or worrying about the future, your line of thought would somehow find its way to him. You’d scold yourself every time, but you couldn’t stop the intrusive thoughts. You’re scared that if you were to see him, you’d crumble all over again. You don’t know if you had it in you to turn him away, even after everything.

A knock at your door causes you to jump. You quickly get up to open it to Kiyoomi.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” you bow to him jokingly, before he walks in. 

“I was here two days ago, not too much,”

You laugh before the two of you walk to your living room, making yourselves comfortable.

“How has the unemployed life been treating you?” he asks as he begins to connect his Nintendo Switch to your TV.

“Good, actually. I got like almost 8 different job offers, I think one of them is actually from an overseas team,” 

His eyes widen at that, “Impressive,”

You nudge at him, “Yeah, I’m actually considering that one, it might be in California? But it’s far, but at the same time maybe that’s not a bad thing,”

“Could finally get away from all this madness,” Sakusa adds, taking your remote to switch the source. 

“Mm, yeah. But at the same time this is my home and I don’t feel like I got closure with—”

Sakusa’s head snaps your direction, his eyes look at you knowingly causing you to stop. “Don’t start,”

You groan in distress, “I can’t,” you throw your head back, “I’m a mess,”

He uses the Switch controller to select a game, giving you the other controller. “Maybe you should seriously consider that overseas offer. It’d be a nice change of scenery, and it’s not a forever thing. At the end of the day you could always come back. I think you being here reminds you too much of him, and it’s not doing you any good,”

Your eyes widen, “Woah, so serious, Omi,”

His eyes squint at you, “I am serious,”

You laugh, taking the controller into your hands.

“I will though,” you continue, “You’re probably right, I might just need to untether myself from this god forsaken country for a while. Too many bad memories,”

“Thank you, Kiyoomi,” you smile, clicking the button to ready up your character.

“Anytime,”

———

Atsumu considers going on hiatus. Contrast to you, you’ve been on his mind 24/7. Atsumu always hated those stupid “everything reminds me of them,” jokes, but now he seriously relates.

He can’t drown himself in other women or alcohol. Because it feels wrong. He finds himself needing and wanting to be loyal to you, even though he hasn’t seen you in more than a month.

Atsumu avoids asking Sakusa about you. Mostly because the last time he did ask, Sakusa told him off. He opted to make burner accounts to see what you were up to on social media. Unfortunately for him, you stopped posting almost entirely before turning your account private.

He knew he was getting borderline obsessive but he couldn’t help it. He was already fighting the urge to go to you himself everyday. To try and ask around to anyone and everyone who may know what you’ve been up to.

Atsumu knows all of this is wrong of him. He was the one who did you wrong. Nothing he’d do would ever make it up to you. 

Everything was working against him. 

After you left that day, he had told Angie off and blocked her once and for all.

When he found out you had resigned, he almost considered quitting. 

He wanted to curse every higher being for allowing things to turn out this way.

But nothing could compare to how he felt the day he eavesdropped on Kiyoomi’s phone call. His phone call with you. He stood by the doorway of the locker room as he listened as closely as he could.

After so long he’d finally gotten something, crumbs, of what you were doing. Though it was definitely not what he had expected or what he wanted. 

“You’re taking the job?” Sakusa sounds excited, Atsumu assumes he’s talking about you getting a new job, “That’s good, sounds like a good offer,”

There’s a pause, and he guesses that you’re probably saying something in response from the other end.

“Are you nervous though? The U.S is pretty far, but California is cool from what I’ve heard,”

Atsumu’s heart sinks to his stomach. California? You were leaving the country?

His mind is running wild. Atsumu obviously knew you’d eventually find a new job, but he had thought you’d still be within arms reach. Close enough for him to reach out to you when he feels like the time is right. But across the globe? Atsumu is so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn’t register the sound of Sakusa ending the call with you or him coming out of the locker room. 

Atsumu nearly jumps at the other man’s voice, “Oh, you,”

He has no words, and just stares at Sakusa. “You heard, huh?”

“Good for her, she’ll finally be able to get away from you.”

The words from Sakusa are like a slap in the face, and if he was talking about anyone other than you Atsumu would’ve let him have a piece of his mind. But Sakusa was right. 

He didn’t want to sound conceited or boost his own ego, but he probably had some part in your decision making. And while in the past, he probably would’ve felt some sick gratification from driving you far away. But now it just made him feel sick. Just sick. 

Atsumu is stuck between a rock and a hard place. He wants to see you, to try and change your mind, he knows his efforts would be wasted.

Still, would it really hurt to try?

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[posttexasstressdisorder]

GOP has gone rancid—and it isn't fair decent people have to keep cleaning up after them

D. Earl Stephens

April 23, 2024 5:27AM ET

People await the arrival of former U.S. President Donald Trump at a rally for Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) at the Miami-Dade Country Fair and Exposition on November 6, 2022 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

This article was paid for by Raw Story subscribers. Not a subscriber? Try us and go ad-free for $1. Prefer to give a one-time tip? Click here.

I’ve heard more than enough from people identifying as Republicans to last for whatever is left of my life.

By words and actions, Republicans have proven they are not serious people, and most definitely do not love or care for our country. We have learned without any doubt during the past decade that there is no line they won’t cross, rule they won’t break, or lie they won’t tell to further their dirty causes, which have absolutely nothing to do with making America great.

They are incapable of good governance, and have settled into mob rule. The Republican-led House of Representatives is a complete and nasty joke, where members literally elbow and hiss at each other, and that is both true and terribly, terribly sad.

With help from our inept Justice Department and a bought-off Conservative Supreme Court, Republicans are making a mockery of the notion that our nation is protected by the rule of law. They know better than anybody, that this simply is not true.

They have exploited a system they have learned to eagerly spit on by refusing to allow nominations for Supreme Court Justices in some cases, while rocketing other Conservative nominees through the Senate in record time.

READ: Breaking our democracy is all part of the GOP plan

They call violent terrorists who attack our country hostages, and expect the press to keep swallowing it whole, because that’s what they do.

Cheating and underhandedness is in their DNA.

They are long past the point of no return, and will either pay for their felonious behavior, or will somehow be rewarded for it at the polls this November, in which case we are done with our Democratic experiment after 248 years.

It is now up to Democrats to once again save this nation from the sick arsonists eagerly trying to burn it to the ground, and that is helluva lot to ask, and isn’t remotely fair.

Here’s a damn truth we don’t hear near enough about: If the Democratic candidate for president was facing 91 felony counts, had been convicted of fraud, was a serial abuser of women, told a documented 30,573 lies in four years, spread a big, toxic lie about an election he lost, and praised dictators, the party and the people who support it, would drop him/her like a rock.

He or she wouldn’t stand a chance. They’d be banished to the nearest dumpster. No decent person would want to be associated with such obvious scum.

The people who vote on the Left and the Right in this country are not remotely the same, and I am way past sick and tired of hearing that they are.

Something as despicable and odious as Donald J. Trump could NEVER happen in the Democratic Party. We simply would not allow it.

That right there is an ironclad fact.

Democrats and left-leaning people are not perfect, because no person is, but we still believe in truth, decency and manners. ALL children are important in our world, which is why we believe feeding them and getting them the healthcare and the childcare they need is vital, and far more important than paying the taxes of filthy-rich, bloated billionaires. We still believe that how the United States projects itself to rest of the world and our children means something.

We love our country, warts and all.

We still believe that when we’ve made mistakes, or said stupid, hurtful things we should apologize for them, not recklessly double down like ill-bred maniacs.

We have not, and will not, surrender to the lowest form of life like Trump. It is simply not in us.

As of this writing, I am officially DONE listening to the unmitigated gall that “both sides do it” or “both parties are the same” because that’s a complete load of bullshit. It is brutally insulting to the tens of millions of people in this country who play by the rules, believe all people are created equal, and still know a damn lie, or attack on our country when they hear it and see it.

The people who populate the Left and Right in our country are wired differently, and it’s time this was said out loud, and repeatedly. It is also long past time our media reported this. Especially because they know it to be true.

In the newsrooms where I used to work, if something so obviously bad and as evil as Trump and his enablers had burst on the scene, we would have been sounding alarms and reporting on it 24/7. The man means us and our country harm. We know this because he is SHOWING US AND TELLING US THIS.

There is seldom a day that goes by without him saying or doing something revolting and egregious. The media doesn’t even bother asking his Republican followers in Congress to account for his larceny anymore. They just accept it as somehow normal when it most certainly is not and never can be.

There are two sides to the story that should be told in America right now. One is called, good, the other is called, evil.

The only reason our national press does not report on this legitimately and accurately is simply because they are pathetic cowards, plain and simple. They know they are failing, but are carrying on despicably, anyway.

I’ll always have ammo to burn addressing their egregious behavior these days, but for now, I want to continue unwinding this thread of how the Left and Right are completely different and how unfair it is that we have to deal with the never-ending recklessness on the Right.

Back in 2015, when Trump laughably announced he’d be seeking the Republican nomination for president, many prominent Republicans rightfully scoffed at the possibility. You’ll get no better example than Lindsey Graham’s evergreen tweet: “If we nominate Trump we will get destroyed.......and we will deserve it.” Graham went on to call Trump, “a jackass.”

The Bushes, Rubios, and other red-blooded Republicans all saw Trump for what he was: completely disgusting and ridiculous. That was before the big-mouth, lifetime loser started blasting them off the debate stage by imitating a slobbering, belligerent drunk at the end of the bar.

Instead of bouncing him from the party, they allowed him to play to the delight of the silent minority in America, who had watched him bravely fire people on his TV show, and lick his toilet seat by degrading President Obama with his putrid, racist, noxious birther blather.

These were the fine people whose tongues bled from self-censoring the bile that flowed from their broken brains, into their big, fat mouths, and had taken centuries to finally go out of taste in this country. It killed them that there were actually awful, hurtful things they could not say out loud anymore.

Now they were free to be themselves again, and let the sludge flow freely from their chapped lips.

Their freedoms had nothing to do with breaking free from any chains, or breaking glass ceilings. No, their freedoms meant having the permission from the very top to be just as disgusting and appalling as they wanted to be. It meant belittling the disabled, and dragging women into the gutter. It meant coddling Nazis and calling cities that terrified them with their sophistication, “s--t holes.”

Before we knew it Nazis and white suprematists were coming out of their caves everywhere and lighting their tiki torches. They were finally on the march to the point of no return, where their disgusting leader was waiting to tell them that he loved them.

Once you have coddled a racist, a traitor, a two-timer, a friend of our enemies, an environmental terrorist, a serial liar, and a sociopath, you are completely lost and broken. Done.

Now the mob rules the Republican Party, which makes it fitting they are represented by this two-bit thug, who is currently sitting in a court room for hiding campaign money he paid to an adult movie star he slept with named Stormy, while his wife was at home caring for a newborn.

Yeah, that’s good and wholesome and normal right there.

A few have broken free of the madman’s grip in the Republican Party, while others have tried, and have crumpled into a heap and back into the mud and slime.

In February, Trump’s very own attorney general, the morally corrupt, Bill Barr, stumbled into bravery and truth when he said that voting for Trump would be “playing Russian roulette with the country.”

By this past Wednesday he had once again devolved and said, but “I’ll support the Republican ticket” if Trump leads it.

Also in February, New Hampshire Republican Governor Chris Sununu said of Trump: “A--holes come and go. But America is here to stay.”

On Sunday, he admitted he had changed his tune and said: “Look, nobody should be shocked that the Republican governor is supporting the Republican president.”

That’s exactly right, governor: A--holes come and go, and apparently you will do everything you can to hang around for a while. You are a revolting person, sport.

Nobody should be surprised by these things anymore, because the Republican Party is irredeemable and incapable of surprises. They can ALWAYS go lower, and prove it literally every day.

This is what happens when you are morally busted and are not bound by any rules or self-control that guides the rest of us.

This is what happens when you surrender to depravity.

This is what happens when you rubber stamp abuse of women, lies, insurrection and support for dictators as anything in the vicinity of normal.

So what happens when standing by the truth and playing by the rules gets you nowhere as a political party and as a country? What happens when millions discover there is no justice and a depraved mad man once again has the keys to the kingdom?

Thanks to the Barrs and the Sununus, and the tens of millions of below-average, broken-down Republicans littering our country, we are terrifyingly close to finding out.

It is up to the Left to take out the garbage once again in America, because the Right has lost its damn mind, as well as its sense of taste and smell.

At what point can all this FINALLY be delivered as fact and shouted on Page 1?

At what point can we quit pretending that both sides are even remotely the same?

NOW READ: What most assuredly happens when Trump sits down with the New York Times

D. Earl Stephens is the author of “Toxic Tales: A Caustic Collection of Donald J. Trump’s Very Important Letters” and finished up a 30-year career in journalism as the Managing Editor of Stars and Stripes. Follow @EarlofEnough and on his website.

[chronosh0t]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ 𝐈 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮...

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: male x Lee, alternative universe, hurt, hurt-comfort, angst, mature content, physical and emotional violence, psychotic. 〔 NO BETA 〕 MDNI！

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: “you just wait, when I meet you for real , I will poke you right back”... how many times? 133...thousands...?

────────────── ❁ ──────────────

How could this be? How could this be remotely possible? Did he make some sort of awful mistake to be going through this? Maybe he was having a very realistic nightmare.

But, did it matter? Whether he was having a nightmare, or a bad joke, that wasn't important anymore. After enduring for who knows how long, his brain couldn't come up with a reasonable answer to this new reality. Trying countless times to find a solution, to talk through, finding a way to set himself free and reaching nowhere, giving up led the list. Why would he keep trying?

Physically and emotionally devastated, inside such a tiny room with no window at sight, the only artificial light of a pale blue colour, tied up to a hard iron chair, his skin felt extremely dry. His eyes already accustomed to the darkness would squint at the mere brightness, a sharp pain in both of his temples would force him to close them. He needed sunlight, he needed food, clean water and a warm bath.

Those daily needs that seemed so common and more like a right as a human being were now a far dream. A luxury he was not allowed to experience anymore. Why?... well, just for “poking” too much, apparently. Alone, again, in that room he would remember how everything started, cursing under his breath, but could he actually blame himself?

Poking, yes. He remembered playing a game, he remembered liking a bit too much a certain character and he ALSO remembered quickly tapping the screen because he liked that interaction the most. How this character would “joke” about being childish or how he would “pat” him, with a soft smile and gentle blue eyes.

“You just wait, when I meet you for real I'll poke you right back.”

“Every time you poke me, I will pay it back exponentially… So– you've done it a total of 133637 times. Are you ready for me to return the favour?”

Those two lines would make him giggle. It was just a game, it was just a character and it was just a cute interaction. So how come he ended up in such a situation? How can he blame himself when no one would've thought that character would be able to come out of the game and “poke” him back? However, it doesn't matter anymore, if it made sense or not. The reality was different, and the pokes were no longer a silly joke.

So, sitting on that chair, tied up. Inside that room, he would wait for Lee to come every now and then and…

……

…………

When Zenas logged into the game a month ago he found out his main character on the screen was not there. A glitch? Could be, after all, his phone's battery was at its lowest and it wouldn't be weird if the game lagged a bit. He didn't pay much attention and decided to play for a little bit before going to sleep. Totally unaware something was coming for him.

Waking up, feeling something warm playing with his hair, it took him a solid minute to realise someone else was there. Abruptly his body jolted and sat on the bed, his tired eyes were forced to quickly adjust to the morning light and focus on the person sitting on the mattress as well. A mechanical body, soft light blond hair, pretty pale blue eyes and a gentle smile, everything he was used to seeing every time he would log in. The character, Lee, was there… right in front of him.

Zenas, not sure what to do, body not moving at all and his mind was going haywire. How could that be? Was that a joke? A dream? Yeah, it must be that, a fucking dream. But the Construct talked and Lee's voice reverberated through his skin, growing deep within his heart, he lost consciousness seconds later. When Zenas woke up again, he found himself in the room he's locked in at the exact moment.

The door screeching against the wooden floor brought him back. He could feel the pain again, he felt his skin getting colder with each passing seconds, minutes, days and weeks. There were even moments when Zenas thought his pain tolerance was at his limit but Lee would do his best to refute that, awakening his senses from the slightest numb sensation. The character he thought was the sweetest of all ended up being a psychopath. How laughable.

ㅤㅤㅤ“Commandant.” Lee broke the silence, with the usual gentle voice, manipulating Zenas’ mind. “Did you miss me?”

Zenas let out a chuckle. No, it wasn't funny, at all, but that involuntary action was out of his own insanity, the amount of pain he had felt the past month after being physically tortured with different objects, his skin being ripped apart and stabbed countless time with screws and needless of all sizes, pushed his mind to limits Zenas thought he didn't have. Weirdly enough he would answer that question with a yes.

Was this what therapists would call Stockholm Syndrome?

ㅤㅤㅤ“Let's start with our daily routine, shall we?”

✂………………………………………………………………………………………………

〔 🎐 〕 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛... 𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚝? 𝚒𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛.

〔 🎐 〕 𝚙𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚔𝚎𝚢 𝚊 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙.

〔 🎐 〕 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚏𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍.

[miekasa]

slow hands

+ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

+ genre and warnings: fluff, some angst? but hardly, levi is the sweetest, please do not mistake his quiet affections for apathy or lovelessness

+ word count: 3k

+ summary: based off of a request about physical affection and acts of service being levi’s love languages—which i agree! i’m so happy you asking about that, i could write essays about how physical touch is important to levi, but instead, i will leave you with this for now lol

i. in crowded spaces (so you don’t get lost, or so he claims)

Levi isn’t particularly fond of the way you like to go shopping in the inner walls. He is, however, fond of you; so he forgoes the prissy upper-class men and overall stingy aura of Wall Sina’s inhabitants just so you can get your favorite kind of bread and fruit.

Today, it seems like everyone and their mother wanted to visit the outdoor markets, despite the scheming merchants and obviously overpriced merchandise. From the crowd to the noise level, none of it is really up Levi’s alley; but he has to admit, watching people fail to successful haggle the price of eggs is immensely amusing to him.

What isn’t amusing is the way you keep stopping in the middle of the square, distracted by anything remotely shiny or with a pleasant smell you come across. Levi stops in his tracks, sensing a lack of your presence behind him; he turns around, and sure enough, you’re standing a few meters away, squinting at the price written above the basket of apples in front of you.

He sighs, trudging back to you, and watching from a step away as you scan over the fruit scrutinizingly. The merchant behind the stand does his best at selling you his product, boasting about how the fruit is fresh and hand-picked, and some other bullshit.

“These look good,” you muse to yourself, picking up a single, red apple in your palm for closer observation, “I could make a pie for the kids later.”

“Ah, pretty and she cooks, what a woman,” the bearded merchant smiles, adjusting his hat as he looks at you.

He only seems to notice Levi’s presence when he pushes forward just a little bit, looking at the apples, bored, then to the man, who speaks to him next, “Can I interest you in a basket, too, sir?”

Levi doesn’t respond with anything but a slight shake of his head, before looking back to you. You’re standing upright now, having placed your sample apple back with the rest, unfazed by Levi standing next to you; like you were completely unaware you’d left him in the first place.

He holds back a scoff. You can be so unaware of your surroundings at times, he honestly thinks it’s a miracle that you make it back from your missions alive. You’re also seemingly unaware of just how many inner wall pigs flirt with you, as you look completely oblivious to the advances of the merchant, who offers you two baskets for the price of one—the only caveat being that you allow him to take you on a date later that evening.

Levi lolls his head to the side, tired eyes gazing at the old man who tries to cut himself a bargain. He knows you’re prepared to give an overly polite and nonchalant response to wave the man off, but Levi doesn’t have time for your pleasantries today. 

Quietly, he reaches for your free hand, lacing your fingers together firmly before pulling you away from the merchant and the stand.

“Levi!” you call for him, borderline whining, “I wasn’t actually going to agree to a date with him, but the apples—”

“There’s a stand a few streets over that Hange claims is better than anything she’s ever eaten,” Levi grumbles, questioning under his breath about where the hell the piece of shit men in the interior get their audacity from, “And you don’t need two baskets. One is enough.”

Levi doesn’t turn your way, so he misses the fond look in your eyes and the small curve to your lips. He does, however, feel the way you wrap your other arm around his, leaning into him gently as to not disturb your stride as you keep walking.

“But I want to have enough to make a pie for the kids, later,” you tell him, slowly rubbing your thumb against the fabric of his blazer.

Levi scoffs audibly this time. “You don’t have to make shit for them.”

“I don’t have to do shit for anyone,” you smile, “But they’re just kids, Levi. Besides, I know you like pie, too, you big baby.”

Levi doesn’t say anything at that, only choosing to flash you an unamused scowl, before pulling you down a smaller, less crowded street.

“Let’s just get the fucking apples and go home,” he says, decidedly, passing by a group of MPs sharing a flask, “I don’t know how much longer I can stay in the interior without snapping some pig’s head off.”

ii. during long meetings

Levi thinks that if Erwin weren’t Commander, he could probably make a living as a pastor with the way he preaches for hours on end.

It’s going on hour two of this long, drawn-out strategy meeting, and Levi knows that he’s not the only one about to lose his fucking marbles. Albeit, he’s much more composed than some other people around the table; he still wants to retire to his office for the evening. Even the mountain of paperwork waiting for him would be more entertaining than this.

Levi listens, admittedly a little more carefully, when you speak up, offering information about the layouts of a small town destroyed on your last expedition, where you’d lost a member of your own squad. Erwin nods, looking back down at his map to take your words into consideration.

Levi looks to his right where you’re seated, notices the guilt flash in your eyes as you think about your last failed expedition. It wasn’t your fault, and you know that; but he knows, more than anyone, how difficult it can be to lose one of your own soldiers.

Quietly, he lifts his teacup with his right hand, and places it down in front of you. He says nothing beyond an almost unnoticeable nod towards the cup once it’s within your reach, before looking back towards Erwin and Armin.

If anyone else seemed to notice his gesture, they don’t make it known. Except for Hange, of course, who flashes him a knowing grin before resuming her conversation.

Levi knows you’ve finished the tea when he feels your hand resting lightly atop his knee, tapping your index and middle fingers against his pants—a silent thank you. In the middle of his own conversation, he doesn’t turn to you or say much other than slipping his right hand on top of yours, loosely curling his fingers between the slits of yours.

His hand stays there for the rest of the meeting, his thumb rubbing slow, unidentifiable patterns into the skin on the back of your hand; an empty teacup, and a mutual gratitude between the two of you.

iii. when you’re working too hard (or for too long)

If not the gigantic humanoid monsters out to swallow you whole, the paperwork is probably the worst part about being a captain in the Survey Corps. Levi would know, having spent countless nights up reading proposals, approving plans, signing documents, filling out death certificates.

It can be grueling work, even if it is, essentially, reading and writing whilst being sat at a desk. And while, sometimes, he can admit that the paperwork is more bearable than his own nightmares; he knows that for you, it holds no such solace.

If anyone thought that Levi worked himself to the bone, they must not have met you. Your meticulous mannerisms and work ethic could almost make him seem sloppy by comparison. It’s not uncommon to find you training yourself or your cadets into the ground, theorizing with Hange and Erwin, or—Levi’s personal least favorite—hunched over your desk, eyes scanning away at stacks of ink-ridden papers.

You must be five or six hours in by now, if he’s calculated correctly. The last time he saw you was around midday, when he’d been watching you spar with Jean. It’s dark out now, the other cadets and soldiers having retired to their rooms for the evening after dinner. 

“You’ll end up a hunchback if you keep this up,” he drawls upon entering your office. He watches as your head snaps up to him; he figured you hadn’t even heard him enter, seeing as you didn’t respond to his knocking. He wonders how it’s possible for you to be so aloof, yet so scrupulous all at once.

Embarrassed, more likely at your lack of awareness than his comment, you push yourself up a little bit, elbows on your desk and fingers crossed. “You’re not exactly one to talk, you know.”

Levi only hums at your jab, inching towards your desk. He likes the way your eyes track his movements as his proximity to you increases, stepping around your desk to stand behind your chair. 

“Sit up,” he orders, voice soft yet firm.

He waits for you to straighten your back, but frowns when you scoot your chair closer to your desk after doing so. He takes it upon himself to move your chair back, ignoring the terrible squeaking of the wood scraping across the floor. Well, at least that was an indication that the floors were clean.

“I can’t write if I’m this far from my desk,” you complain, just as the palms of Levi’s hands make contact with your shoulders.

“Good thing I’m not asking you to write anything,” Levi replies, digging the heels of his hands into your shoulder muscles. This would work better with your shirt off, he muses to himself, but this would have to do.

You open your mouth to protest, but your words fall short on your tongue, an exhale of relief coming out instead as Levi continues to massage your shoulders. Levi can feel you melting into his actions, your body going slack and the knots in your muscles uncoiling themselves. He counts about five minutes in passing before he hears your breath calm, too; the shallow exhales of your overworked body replaced with deep inhalations and extended sighs.

He lightens his movements as his massage comes to and end. The palm of his left hand runs across your throat gently, allowing him to tuck his thumb and index finger under your chin, and tilt your head backwards for you to face him. Levi’s thumb pads against your jaw line as you look up at him, and him back at you. 

Finally, he leans down, his lips making contact with your forehead for a gentle kiss, “You work too hard.”

“I learned from the best,” and just as gently, you reach your arm up and backwards, your palm clumsily finding its way to Levi’s hair, pulling him down, towards your lips this time, “You take such good care of me.”

“Obviously,” Levi mumbles, stealing another kiss between his words, “That’s my job, brat.”

iv. during dinner time

The Mess Hall is among Levi’s least favorite places, for obvious reasons; but he does enjoy sharing a meal with you, and ensuring that you’ve eaten a full serving to sustain yourself.

He can look past Hange and Nanaba’s overly enthusiastic conversations, despite sitting directly across each other, Erwin’s sloppy eating habits, and the overall rowdy atmosphere of the Mess Hall, as long as he has you beside him to numb the pain. Which is why he’s been exceptionally grumpy these past two weeks, as you’ve taken to sitting with some of the younger cadets during dinner time. 

It’s not unusual and it doesn’t surprise him, or anyone really; everyone can see how much they all adore you. Especially Mikasa, strangely enough. Probably because of the way you treat Eren, and how much he and Armin look up to you; and probably because she was your first pick to fill a vacancy in your squad. 

He walks with you across the floor, the both of you holding your own tray of food—a watery soup, some bread, and a piece of fruit as a treat. He knows you won’t finish your soup, and that he’ll have to give you half of his bread to make up for it; but he also knows you’ll slice up your apple for him to eat in exchange.

So Levi is not too happy when he sees Eren waving your way, the clumsy idiot almost hitting Armin in the head from the uncoordinated shaking of his hand. You smile at the younger boy, turning your body to walk towards his table.

Levi, however, stops your stride before it can begin, pulling tactfully at the back of your shirt, and forcing you to turn back around. He pokes at the nape of your neck, gently pushing you forwards, and in the direction of the table where Erwin, Hange, Mike and Moblit are seated.

You seem to get his silent message, flashing Levi a sweet smile before turning to offer Eren a sorry glance as you continue to head in the direction of the table with your colleagues. Levi hums when you start walking again, following closely behind you, and turning back to offer Eren a not-so-sorry, not-so-friendly glare.

Levi was getting his apple sliced for him today, whether the brats liked it or not.

“You know, you should sit with them sometime,” you tell him, breaking his small loaf in half to dip it into your soup, “They admire you a lot.”

“I think they’d shit their pants if shorty even came near their table,” Hange jokes, earning chuckles from some of your colleagues.

Levi says nothing and refrains from rolling his eyes. He could care less about the admiration they hold for him, or for you. If Eren and Amin wanted to spend time with you that badly, then they should train their asses off and make it onto your squad.

“Oi,” you call to him, mocking his voice and tone, “Here, they gave us yellow ones today, I know they’re your favorite.”

Levi shoves you with his elbow affectionately, before taking the slice of apple from your hold. He chews gratefully, heart beating against his chest in admiration as you carefully place the rest of the slices on his tray.

He squeezes your thigh in thanks under the table once you’ve finished slicing both apples for him. Sure, he could do it himself, and sure he could technically see you in your room whenever he wants, but that’s not the point; Levi will be damned if he catches any of those other brats with his apple slices.

v. when you come home

It’s not often that Levi becomes overly worried about your well-being, as backwards and apathetic as it may seem to other people. He trusts you, and knows that you’re stronger than you look—stronger than him, even—and he has no reason to doubt you; you’ve always come back to him.

But now, it’s going on eleven days since your squad was supposed to return from specially designed and assigned mission from Erwin himself, and Levi was beginning to let his nerves get the best of him.

He knows he’s not the only one getting antsy for some kind of message—any kind of sign at all—that you and your men were okay. Two days ago, Hange had pestered Erwin for the greater part of an hour about sending just one more tracking squad to look for yours; Mikasa and Armin hovered around for any news that you had returned, and that you’d brought Eren back unharmed; hell, even Mike had come to check in with him, rocking on his feet, asking Levi if there had been any news from you.

It’s dark out now, the day coming to a close, marking the twelfth night since your estimated return date. Levi sighs, untucking himself from his desk, intent on marching down to Erwin’s office and demanding he let him go look for you.

“You know we have to give it fourteen days, at least,” Erwin sighs.

“That’s a bullshit rule and you know it,” Hange interjects, having burst into the room only seconds after Levi; hung up on your lack of return just as much as he was.

Of course she is—you’re Hange’s closest friend. Not to mention, you’d taken Moblit with you on your mission, setting Hange’s work back significantly without the presence of her valuable second.

“I know,” Erwin nods, “But the first tracking squad found no evidence of any bodies. They’re most likely alive.”

“All of them?” Hange questions, incredulous and hopeful.

“That’s what we hope for,” Erwin responds, voice heavy. He looks to Levi, “She’ll come back. She always does.”

Levi knows that; he knows. But he still can’t shake this feeling. He opens his mouth to refute, when Sasha comes bumbling into Erwin’s office, heaving.

“Commander Erwin, Captain (Y/N)’s squad has just returned!” Sasha squeaks, “No casualties, four in the infirmary now with minor wounds, but nobody’s in critical condition, sir.”

Levi can barely register the young girl’s words, before he’s storming towards the infirmary, desperately searching for your familiar face amongst the soldiers in the cots. He sees Moblit amongst some of your other men and hastily asks him about your whereabouts.

“She had Eren,” Moblit tells him calmly, wincing slightly as a nurse rubs alcohol into the cut along his arm, “I thought she’d take him here—maybe in one of the smaller rooms across the hall?”

Levi nods, grateful, and moves so that Hange can squish Moblit with her affections, heading towards the hallway. He sees just a sliver of light coming from a room two doors down, and he doesn’t hesitate to search for you there.

He all but bursts through the door, relieved to find you tying and cutting a bandage around Eren’s forehead. Levi wants to scold you for taking care of someone else wounds before attending to your own, but he doesn’t have time for that right now.

You stand up straight after you’re finished wrapping Eren’s larger cuts, with barely enough time to register that Levi’s entered the room before he has one hand around your waist, and the other cradling the back of your head.

Levi can feel that he’s knocked the wind out of you, but that doesn’t stop you from slowly wrapping your arms around him to complete the hug. He tucks his head into the juncture of your neck, ignoring the faint scrapes along your skin.

“You’re back,” he hums, holding you a little tighter against him.

Levi feels your laughter reverberate through his own body, as you mirror his hold on you; your right hand coming up to cradle the back of his head, your fingers loosely coiling into his hair.

“Of course I am,” you hum, reveling in Levi’s shallow breaths that tickle your neck, “I’ll always come back to you, Levi.”

[linorachas]

sunday's best. | bang chan

⁍ pairing — bang chan x reader ⁍ genre — fluff and smut ⁍ word count — 11.2k words ⁍ details — established relationship, domesticity, producer!chan, choreographer!reader, lots of cuddles and kissing (again), you're both really in love (again), hard smut | details under the cut ⁍ notes — part 2 of for the weekend is here! thank you so much to everyone who supported part 1 and asked for more. it gave me so much motivation to start and finish this one and i maaay have gotten a little bit carried away considering it's almost triple the size. and the smut... yea.... this could be read as a one-shot, but there’s a lot of elements from pt. 1 that i referenced in here, so please check that one out first! and also please please lmk if you enjoyed! ♥️  ⁍ summary —  Day 2. Holding up your end of the deal, strawberry ice cream, and Ugly Cat bowls.

⁍ smut specifics — dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie, vaginal fingering, one mention of the word "daddy", possessiveness on chan’s part (but not the asshole kind), a smidge of oral (f. receiving), orgasm denial, multiple orgasms, choking (but not really? just hand on throat), reader talks about liking the pain a lot, dry humping, slightest bit of cum play ⁍ little side note — please practice safe sex u guys. wrap it up. these guys are not good role models at all. be safe. also always pee after sex. plz. also this isn't proofread god bless

Saturday, 3:20 pm

“Time to fulfill my part of the deal so we can get on with yours.”

You hold your breath, stunned at the determination in Chan’s eyes. You’re distracted at the way his lips curl and at how his dimples pop out, your eyes following the line of his broad shoulders. You eye the ridges of his arms, down to the veins in his hands, parched throat swallowing when you get to his defined abs.

God, he was sexy.

You follow his happy trail, down and down until-- ah. Right. He was still naked. In the kitchen.

Your face scrunches up comically, desire disappearing as you hop off the counter and shoo him away.

“Go get some clothes, what the hell. Do you know how unsanitary it is to be naked in here? Gross, Chan.”

Staring at you in disbelief, Chan gapes, “after you just blatantly checked me out? I saw that!”

You walk past him, rummaging through the cupboards for food. “Unless you want me to come near you with a pair of scissors close to your-”

“I’m going, I’m going!” Chan shouts, as he rushes back to the bedroom, the panic in his voice making you laugh.

You’re just starting to fill up a pot with water when arms sneak around your waist and a very clingy but now fully dressed Bang Chan nuzzles his face into your neck, humming.

“What do you want me to cook for you, baby?” He asks excitedly, ready to do anything.

You snort. “Unless you can magically conjure up some groceries, I don’t think you can cook me anything at all.”

Chan freezes at that, releasing his hold on you so he could open the refrigerator and cupboards, mouth dropping in shock when he sees that there really was no food. You’ve both been so busy this week, spending most of your meals at that company, that you both probably forgot to do mini-grocery runs.

“Though we do have like, 4 packs of ramen left and half a can of spam.” You call Chan’s attention back to you, gesturing towards the food on the counter. Chan, the big eater that he was, deflates at the sight, looking exactly like a kicked puppy.

“Aw, I know that’s not enough for you, baby.” You coo, shuffling over to Chan to pinch his cheek. It starts gentle at first, but then you put a bit of pressure, narrowing your eyes. “But if you eat more than your share, I’m biting you.”

Chan yelps, nodding rapidly as your pinch his cheek harder, “okay! Okay! I won’t steal from your share, I promise, baby- ow!”

You relent soon after, pressing a sweet kiss to Chan’s reddened cheek as he scowls at you. “Good. Now let’s get cooking, because if I don’t have food in me in the next 3 minutes I really might start biting you.”

Chan jumps out of your reach at that, and you watch him with a smile as he bustles around to prepare your food. You get a bowl each after it cooks, perfectly equal in portion size. There aren’t any words being shared as you both settle on the couch, your thighs pressed together as you slurp on your noodles, putting on a drama you were both invested in. Chan doesn’t notice when you slip your one last remaining piece of spam into his bowl, too busy berating a main character for being stupid, but he does let you finish off the soup in his bowl.

You and Chan start working on chores after that, because when you were looking for the remote control under the couch, you’re greeted with a cloud of dust, making you sneeze thrice.

Chan laughs at you, but then he’s cut off by his own sneeze too. You share one look before you’re both scrambling towards the cleaning supplies.

It takes you both hours just to clean the whole apartment and do some laundry, the sky already dark when you settle back down on the couch.

Considering you literally had no ingredients to cook with, you decide to order for dinner, and there’s a small dispute as to who has to get up to accept the food and pay the delivery man. The fight is resolved with a quick game of rock, paper, scissors; Chan winning fairly, but you still complain on your way to the door.

“We should work out,” Chan pipes up suddenly when you’re both lying on your sides on the couch, him being the little spoon. Dinner was a quick affair, and now you’re both just basking in the happiness of having a full stomach.

You make a face. “Was that not enough of a workout?” you ask, referring to your spotless apartment.

Chan snorts, turning around so his front was facing you. But he slides down, making a sound akin to purr as he buries his face in your neck. “I mean, like. Yoga. Leg day reps. Jogging?”

You groan, pinching his side. “I dance for a living. You go work out. Let me rot on this couch for tonight.”

Chan laughs at that, but doesn’t pester you about it anymore. You let him rest on your clavicle as you focus on your attention to the drama that was currently airing on the TV, slightly interested now.

You’d have thought Chan was asleep if it wasn’t for the kisses that he presses on your neck, harmless little pecks that soon have a bit of teeth in them. You lean your head back, finding the action more comforting than anything, but then Chan’s tongue suddenly darts out to lick at a spot near your jaw, and you shiver.

You sigh, but you don’t push him away. Instead, your fingers card through his hair, making Chan groan happily. He stops pestering your neck then, enjoying your fingers massaging and scratching at his scalp.

But your first mistake was thinking you were safe, because suddenly, there’s a thigh slipping in between your legs, pressing against your covered mound.

“Ah,” you moan, surprised, but Chan doesn’t do anything else after that, just lets his thigh rest there. You narrow your eyes suspiciously. “I thought you were going to work out.”

“This is my workout.” Chan whispers, and when you feel his devilish smile against your skin, you knew you were doomed.

Chan presses his thigh against your clothed pussy more insistently, making you squirm. The thin material of your panties and sleep shorts barely provided any layers between you, heightening the pleasure.

His thigh flexes, and the feeling of your clit grinding down on the hardened muscle was simply too good to ignore, and you’re humping Chan’s thigh before you could even think twice about it.

“Good girl,” Chan praises when he notices your hips gyrating, leaning up for a second to press a sweet kiss to your lips. He continues to adjust, helping you find the best position for your pleasure. “Keep rubbing that pretty pussy on me, baby, that’s it.”

You moan when a hand slides under your shirt and brushes against one of your nipples, Chan rolling the slowly hardening nub between his fingers. You feel yourself getting wet embarrassingly quick, and you knew you could cum like this. Chan has made you cum multiple times before just from clitoral stimulation alone, and dry humping was no exception to that.

You’re just about to ask if he was really going to let you cum, but then Chan pulls his thigh away, and the knot in your stomach disappears.

You groan for an entirely different reason now, upset at your orgasm being taken away from you. But Chan busies himself with tugging at your shirt until you get the idea and take it off, and he immediately latches his mouth to one of your nipples, sucking.

You suck in a breath through gritted teeth, pressing his head closer to your chest as he paid attention to both your nipples, licking and sucking and biting. You were getting uncomfortably wet now, your panties damp, and you convey this to Chan in hopes that he would speed things up.

You should have known that it would just spur him on.

“You wet for me already?” Chan asks once he stops marking your breasts, facing you with a grin.

You nod rapidly. “Yes, so if you could fuck m-”

“Ah,” Chan tuts, “let me feel first.”

You don’t even get a chance to protest because Chan’s hand is already disappearing, slipping under the waistband of your shorts and panties to slide two of his fingers between your folds. You jolt at the contact, moaning as he uses those two fingers to rub circles on your clit gently.

“Chan,” you moan and he hums distractedly, leaning down to suck more marks on your skin. He slips in a finger without warning, but since you were so wet and ready for him, you took his finger in easily.

Chan curses, testing the waters by slipping in a second finger slowly, and though there was a bit of a sting this time, his second finger slides in just as easily.

“God, baby, you’re soaking.”

Chan crooks his fingers, brushing against your g-spot almost immediately, making you jolt and whine. He picks up the pace, fingers fucking in and out you fast despite your underwear and shorts restricting most of his hand movement.

He comes up for a kiss, your mouth opening automatically for him to slip his tongue in. He groans into your mouth at your obedience, free hand gripping your jaw tight. He sucks on your tongue just as he adds a third finger, and you pull away to hiss.

Chan’s fingers were long and filled you up nicely, and with how he was rubbing at your g-spot insistently, it wasn’t long before you felt your orgasm climbing up again.

“I’m prepping you, but it looks like you don’t need it with how you’re sucking my fingers in, baby.” Chan shakes his head, playful disbelief coloring his tone. “Did you think about my cock in you all day? Wanted me to fuck you that bad?”

“Yeah, yes, I- ah,” you gasp, nodding at his words rapidly. Chan leans in to kiss you again, but you manage to stop him with a shaky hand pressed to his chest, forcing him to meet your gaze.

“You held up your end of the deal,” you whisper, already breathless, “it’s time I hold up mine.”

Chan’s eyes darken, and you squeak when he suddenly sits up on his knees, free hand yanking your shorts and underwear down in one swift motion. He leans back down to get the kiss you stopped at before, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth and making you moan.

“But first,” Chan murmurs against your lips, voice leaving no room for discussion. “You cum for me now.”

Now that there was no clothing to restrict his hand movements, the pace of Chan’s fingers picked up faster, driving you crazy and making you squirm on the couch. Chan pins your hips down with his other hand so he could drive his fingers into you easily, and the wet sounds of his fingers thrusting inside your cunt was so lewd you felt yourself blushing.

It only takes a quick brush of Chan’s thumb against your clit to have your body snapping, trembling in Chan’s arms as your hole convulses against his fingers. Chan groans like he was the one having an orgasm, eyes appreciatively staring at the way your head was thrown back, chest heaving up and down.

Chan pulls his fingers out carefully, planning to just wipe them on his shirt, but then you make a noise, catching his attention. He looks up, confused, but then sees the way your gaze was trained on his fingers— which were slicked with your juices— and his cock got so hard, it started to hurt.

“Fuck, you’re filthy.” Chan whispers, but he brings his fingers up to your lips, letting you lick and suck to your heart’s content. Chan swallows as you look up at him through your lashes, cleaning his fingers thoroughly with long swipes of your tongue. For each glimpse he sees of the wet appendage around his finger, his dick jumps in his sweatpants.

You pull off slowly when you finish, eyes still locked with Chan’s. The both of you were breathing hard now, gazes intense as you stared each other down. At first, you felt like both the predator and the prey. Chan could destroy you with his fingers alone if he wanted to, but he was easy to fluster as well.

But then Chan tilts your head up with a single finger, leaning down to press a soft, slow kiss to your lips, a kiss so full of intent, lust and— love, that it leaves you breathless, eyes wide.

Chan lips quirk. “Bedroom?”

Saturday, 10:41 pm.

“Arch for me, baby.” Chan orders, breathless, hand smoothing down your lower back. You were truthfully too weak to hold yourself up already, mind numbed with pleasure, but you do your best, legs shaking with the effort to present yourself. But the pleased grumble that immediately comes out of Chan definitely makes the grueling position worth it.

You were both naked now, having shed Chan’s clothes as soon as you stumbled through the bedroom door, after you spent a good ten minutes just making out against it. Chan had shut the door with a quick kick, carrying you on the way to the bed even though it was only a few steps away.

But you didn’t complain, not when he dropped you in the middle and immediately manhandled you to your hand and knees, tugging your hips close to him with a grunt.

“That’s my good girl,” Chan leans down, whispering the words against the nape of your neck as the tip of his cock slid between your folds.

You start whining, because you were much more exposed in this position and you were being good but Chan wasn’t doing anything about it and you just wanted to be fucked. You convey your displeasure by pushing back against Chan’s cock, trying to get it to slip in you without his help.

“Want it inside, sweetheart? Hm?” Chan mumbles against your ear, teeth nipping at the lobe teasingly. “I can feel your greedy little hole twitching against me. Shit, you want it that bad?”

You nod rapidly, uncaring of how desperate you looked. Mostly because Chan liked that look on you. He liked knowing that you let your guard down around him, that nobody in the world could bring you to your knees and have you begging to be filled like he does.

Chan never explicitly shows how much he likes thinking that you belong to him, because he really does believe you’re your own person and not an object to be owned. But here, like this, with your throbbing pussy against this cock and your teary eyes pitifully looking up at him to do something, anything— it brought out a sense of possessiveness in Chan that he never knew he had.

These were the kind of feelings that only you could bring out of him. You were the only one who ever made him feel like this, and the rush of both excitement and fear over it admittedly has him going crazy at times.

But there’s nothing in the world he loves more than knowing you feel exactly the same.

He sees this in the way you tilt your head up, begging for a kiss. It has him breaking out of character, lips tugging up into a fond smile, since he’d planned to be mean and tease you for a bit. But he doesn’t resist when he leans down to kiss you, not when the urge is so strong. Especially not when your smile against his lips felt like the world’s most addicting drug.

Ah, how lucky was he to have fallen in love with you?

“Channie,” you hiccup once he pulls away, and he presses kisses down your shoulder, hiding a smile. This is why he could never be a hard dom with you. One kiss and he’s weak.

“Mhm, I got it, I got it. Just relax for me, yeah? I’ll fill you up real good, sweetheart. Just relax for me.” Chan soothes, pulling back to sit up on his knees.

He grabs a hold of his cock so he could line it up and push in, but then he can’t stop the groan that comes out his throat when the contact eases the pressure on his cock. He hasn’t been touched since you started, and with how wet you were when he pressed against you, he didn’t even need lube. His hand slid up and down easily.

You bit your lip. You were torn between enjoying the godly image of Chan jerking off to the sight of you bent over for him or finally enjoying the feeling of being filled up. Chan pleasuring himself was always a sight to see, veiny arms flexing every time his hand moved.

His eyes fluttered close, and your eyes greedily followed the line of his jaw and the long column of his throat, mouth dry with how much you wanted to suck marks on it.

But you were once again reminded why you can’t, and you were in this position for a reason.

“My end of the deal,” you start, catching your boyfriend’s attention, “was to let myself be fucked six ways to sunday.”

You pause, your hand sliding behind you to slip your own fingers into your soaking pussy. You moan when one finger slips right in, bright eyes meeting Chan’s dark ones.

“Should I have just done that myself?”

Nothing could have prepared you for the way Chan yanked your finger out, gaze hard as he locked both your arms behind you back. He was only holding your arms back with one of his hands, but the grip felt as tight as a rope.

You shiver in anticipation.

“Oh, don’t worry, baby.” Chan hisses, finally pushing his cock inside, easily slipping in with how wet and stretched you were from his fingers.

He moves slowly, determined to make you feel every inch and ridge and vein of his cock against your clenching walls. You squirm and gasp as he pushes and pushes, filling you up so well until his hips are finally flushed against your ass.

“I’ll fuck you so well you’ll feel it here,” he slides his free hand down to your lower stomach, pressing down until he almost feels his cock bulging in you, “and you’ll feel it until next weekend.”

Then he pulls back and thrusts inside again, this time slamming in hard.

You choke on a breath, eyes rolling to the back of your head as Chan goes in deep and fast. The position allowed him to reach inside you deeper than ever, and you almost swear you feel him in your stomach.

He finds your g-spot again in no time, knowing your body better than you do. You jerk in his hold when he does and a scream gets stuck in your throat, and the fact that you could feel Chan’s amusement from your reaction just made it even hotter. You had no time to breath from how hard and fast Chan was fucking you, let alone make a sound.

God, you loved it.

It’s what has you cumming in no more than three more thrusts, mouth gaping like a fish out of water as the knot in your stomach finally snapped. Chan seems to have noticed, given that you were clenching around him like crazy, and the laugh he lets out is so attractive that you feel yourself clench again.

“Aww, already, Y/N?” He teases, making you flush. He sounded smug, and you made a mental note to kick him for it later.

And though he seemed to have noticed your orgasm, Chan doesn’t stop. In fact, he shifts his position and somehow finds a way to push himself in deeper, forcefully pushing a long, drawn out moan from your throat. He makes you ride out your orgasm, eyes staring intently at the way his cock slid in out of you, covered in your juices.

“Shit, Channn,” you groan out his name, voice breaking as he continues to drive his cock into you. “I- ah, ah, Channie, please, I can’t-“

“You can,” Chan grunts out simply, as if he knew your core was already tightening for your second orgasm in a row.

You open your mouth again to plead— for him to stop or keep going? you didn’t know— but then Chan slows down, and you finally manage to suck in the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

Keeping his cock in you, Chan lets go of your arms, both of his hands now sliding under your torso to pull you up. You gasp at the sudden change in position, now sitting back on your knees as Chan’s arm wrapped snugly around your waist.

“Fuck,” Chan grunts in your ear, inhaling through gritted teeth as he thrusts into you again properly. His fingers trail down your hips and up your stomach, hands brushing up and down your skin like he was mapping it out. It tickled, and with every brush of Chan’s hand against a sensitive part of your body, you clench.

He moans lowly, the sound right by your ear and making you shiver. “You open up so well for me. You always do. So perfect for me, beautiful.”

Chan presses heated kisses on your shoulder, hands now gripping your waist tight so he could position you in a way that was pleasurable for both of you. When Chan’s lips trail higher, you subconsciously bear your neck to him, making him smile.

“Please,” you breathe out, your eyes stinging from the almost painful knot in your stomach, back so soon even though you’ve just calmed down.

“Again.” Chan exhales against your ear, hips picking up that demonic pace again. “Cum for me again.”

You moan, nodding mindlessly as Chan pulls you back onto his cock at the same time he thrusts forward. His big cock fills you up in all the right places, brushing against your sweet spot constantly and driving you crazy each time.

Since you were now being held up by Chan himself, you didn’t know what to do with your hands at this point, nails digging into your palms and creating indents.

But Chan, as attentive as ever even when he’s fucking you into oblivion, notices your hand situation and guides your arms upwards, pushing them back until your hands tangle in his hair instead.

The new position worked well for the both of you, because your back was arched to accommodate your arms, and Chan could drive his cock in that good kind of deep again.

Chan’s grunts by your ear just get you even hotter, along with his hisses every time you clench around him. He murmurs dirty praises in your ear, telling you over and over again how good your cunt felt around him and how you were taking him so well and how he’d love nothing more to be buried in you forever, so you’d never feel empty again.

The last straw is when his free hand comes up to your neck, fingers closing around your jaw so he could tilt your head up. You gasps noisily at that, tugging on his hair in surprise. You and Chan have talked about choking before, and though he wasn’t really cutting off your air, the feeling of his hand around your throat was more than enough to get you locking up around him.

Chan coos, lips brushing against your cheek as he talked you towards your orgasm. “That’s it, baby, that’s it. Let me feel you cream around my cock again,” he grunts, pushing through the tight vice-like grip your walls had around him, “Come on, gorgeous. Let me feel it. Want you to cum for me again.”

You sob out Chan’s name, unaware of the tears slipping down your cheeks as you squeezed your eyes shut and came for the second time in a matter of minutes. It was too fast, too sudden, still too sensitive from your last orgasm—

—and it was everything you ever wanted.

Chan immediately slows down when you start spasming around him, letting you ride out your orgasm slowly this time. He continues to murmur praises in your ear, pressing open mouthed kisses on the shoulder nearest to him.

You’re hiccuping and gasping his name, fingers tugging on his hair desperately. You were so lost in pleasure that you don’t notice him slowly pulling out and sitting back on his knees, pulling you back with him. He untangles your hands from his hair gently, and your arms limp at your sides now that you’re slumped over.

Chan brushes your hair back from your sweaty face when your head lolls back, and you easily accept the searing kiss that he presses on your lips. Though you were barely kissing back, breathing too hard to move your lips, you refused to let him pull away.

Chan’s kisses were like air for you during times like this, and you drink them in greedily.

“You were so good for me.” Chan praises once he pulls away, eyes bright as he stares down at you lovingly, thumb brushing against the tear tracks on your cheeks. “My good girl.”

Slipping an arm under your knees, he rearranges your positions so you could lie down on the middle of the bed. Chan lies on his side next to you, one hand propping his head up while the other hand intertwines with yours, squeezing every few seconds.

You were in a limbo, somewhere between still being conscious of your surroundings and feeling floaty, but Chan’s murmured praises and constant touches bring you back to the ground fully.

“Good?” Chan asks, sounding genuine, but you catch the smug look in his eyes.

You laugh quietly in response, eyes rolling good-naturedly, hand coming up to punch him playfully. Chan grins wide, leaning down so he could press a sweet kiss to your lips.

And when he pulls away, he brings your intertwined hands up to his face so he could place a kiss on the back of your hand too. You shudder from the sudden wave of affection going through you, feeling so lucky to be taken care of by someone as caring as Chan.

But. There was one issue.

“Channie,” you exhale, shifting to your side so you could plaster your sweaty body close to his, burying your face in his neck and breathing in his scent.

“Hmm?” He lets go of your hand so he could tuck your hair behind your ear, wanting to see your face.

“You didn’t-“ you start, indicating to the hard-on pressed against your thigh. You hear the breath he sucks in when you grind against it, but then there’s a hand stopping your hips from moving any more.

“We don’t have to.” Chan reassures, referring to your fucked out state as nicely as he could. It made you chuckle, until— “I already made you cry, anyway.”

You swat at his stomach, making him groan and laugh at the same time. He falls back onto the mattress, giggling as he shielded his torso away from your hands.

He was right, though. Your legs were already shaking, and you couldn’t even begin to imagine how sore you would be tomorrow. Not to mention the different bite marks around your body. You look like you’ve just been mauled by a wild animal.

But—

“I want more.” You whine softly, knowing it got to Chan whenever you vocalized what you wanted. You crawl up his body slowly, watching as he licked his lips. You hips lower, sitting right on Chan’s cock and grinding, and you relish in the way his teeth grits.

You lean down, letting your lips brush against his ear before whispering, “Want you to cum in me.”

“Shit,” Chan curses, hands coming up to catch your hips in a bruising grip, halting your movements again. He was definitely holding back for your sake, but you didn’t want that. You had a deal to uphold.

“Come on, daddy.” You purr in his ear, grinning when he tenses again. “Don’t you want to fuck me full of your cum?”

You squeak when Chan flips your positions, him now on top of you and your arms pinned above your head. You breathe heavily, watching as his glazed eyes rake over your marked form, like he was taking you in. Carving the way you look into his memories.

He leans down then, arms caging the sides of your head. “You drive me crazy.” He admits, voice fond despite his heated look, and you blush all the way to the tip of your ears.

“Crazy enough for you to fuck me into the mattress?” You ask, voice tilting up hopefully as you flush, but you’re cut off by your own moan when Chan suddenly spreads your legs and ducks down, tongue licking a fat stripe up your slit.

“Fuck!” You gasp at the sudden attack to your sensitive pussy, head throwing back and hands immediately coming down to grip Chan’s hair. “You- what are you- oh, fuck me.”

You could feel the puffs of breath against your clit as Chan laughed, and you hit him on the back using your foot, annoyed that he was laughing as you lost your mind. He ignores you, swirling and flicking his tongue around the sensitive nub, before continuing to dip his tongue inside you.

The moan he lets out rivals your own, and you gasp as Chan eats pussy like he’s a starved man and it's his first meal, the slurping noises he makes sounding lewd even to your own ears.

You chant his name like a prayer, squirming on the bed as you tug on his hair hard. That only serves to make him moan, which in turn also made you clench again.

“Baby,” you sob, “please. If I don’t get your cock in me, I’ll- I- please.”

Chan finally lets up at that, pressing one last kiss to your swollen clit before he kisses his way up your body.

“Yeah? You need it?” He asks, breathless, but it was clear he wasn’t waiting for an answer. He must be as worked up as you are, because there was no more teasing this time, and you gasp when you feel the head of his cock brushing against your slit.

“What the hell was that,” you demand, voice clipped because Chan was pushing inside you again, testing the waters with miniscule thrusts. You jerk each time.

“Wanted you to shut up.” Chan chuckles, but he’s cut off by his own groan when he feels your hot, velvety walls clamp around him in response. He sucks in a deep breath, feeling how wet you were from both your juices and his spit.

“Shit, baby, how are you still so tight?” Chan sighs contentedly, pressing open mouthed kisses to your cheek. He’s got his upper arms on either side of your head, and you’re so close together that your breasts press against his chest, making you jolt with every brush of your nipples against his pecs. “You fit my cock so well, got me so hard-“

“It’s cause- ah, I’m made for you, shit, right there-” you slur mindlessly, head thrown back from the pleasure as Chan drove straight into your g-spot again and again. The way he hit it so precisely each time should have freaked you out, but you were far too out of your mind with pleasure to think about it.

Chan’s hips falter at the words.

“What did you say, baby? Say that again.” Chan demands, sounding desperate, and you gather all the strength you had left to pick your head up and look up at him. With how close you were, you were pressed nose to nose, Chan leaning down even further so your forehead pressed together. You meet eyes, and you shudder at the intensity of his gaze, suddenly looking much more animalistic than before. Ah.

Bullseye.

“Was made for you.” You murmur again, clearer now, arms coming up to wrap around Chan’s shoulders for leverage as he used you to get to his own orgasm. “I take your cock well because you’ve ruined me for anybody else, Chan,” you admit, eyes shaking. “Nobody’s ever— ever going to make me feel like this. Like you do- oh, fuck!”

You feel Chan bristling at the mention of someone else, and despite your fuzzy mind, you rush to placate him. “I’m yours, baby. Just yours.” you swear, cupping his cheek and forcing him to focus his gaze on you. You needed him to understand. “Any way you want. All of me. I’m all yours.”

Chan’s hips stutter, and he leans down to press your mouths together again. He’s moving too much to have your lips locked in a proper kiss, but he nibbles your lips, breathing heavily as he whispers, “Mine.” over and over again against your jaw.

Your legs come up to wrap around his waist, ankles locking behind him. The pleasure and pain was so blurred that it was making you tear up again, but you pull him closer and beg him to go harder.

There’s a certain urgency to his thrusts now, more frantic and more desperate now that he’s let himself go, and you relish in his unrestrained groans and moans mixing with your own.

“Y/N,” he calls, voice guttural, and just the sounds of his fucked out voice saying your name has you tightening immediately again, making both you and Chan gasp. “Shit, baby, wait, I’m close- where-“

“Inside.” You beg, now nose to nose to Chan as he leaned his forehead on top of yours, eyes searching frantically. “Inside. I told you earlier, didn’t I?”

Chan groans, a loud and raw sound that vibrates against your chest, especially when he ducks his head down to the side so you were cheek to cheek now. You feel his teeth nip at your earlobe, low moans loud in your ear as his thrusts get more sloppy and uncoordinated.

“Y/N, are you-“

“I’m sure, Chan.” You turn your head, and your lips brush against his ear when you beg, “cum inside me. I want to feel it, want you to fuck your cum back into me. Please.”

Chan grunts, cock pulsing inside you at the thought. He was so close— teetering right at the edge as you continued to clench around him and whisper filthy things in his ear.

The last straw is when you tug his head back just in time, forcibly making your gazes meet when you whisper,

“Please, baby. Remind me that I’m yours.”

Chan’s jaw clenches, teeth grinding together as he finally stills and pumps his cum into you. The first spurt has you gasping noisily, clutching onto Chan tightly as he fills you up. You maintain eye contact for one glorious moment, but Chan’s eyes eventually flutter shut due to the overwhelming pleasure. You watch as his head lolls back, throat working out grunts and moans, complete bliss on his face.

The look is what triggers your fourth and final orgasm; dry and painfully, painfully good.

When he picks his head back up, your lips meet in a bruising kiss, tongues sliding against each other and teeth clacking as you both ride out your orgasm, him milking his cock inside you.

If you were filled before, you were bursting at the seams now.

Chan doesn’t pull out for a couple of minutes, the both of you catching your breath. But when he does finally pull out you immediately hiss, clearly oversensitive.

You clench unconsciously, but it’s no use, because you’re already shuddering from the feeling of Chan’s cum trailing out your hole.

Chan swallows, eyes staring intently at the way you clenched and unclenched with his cum dripping out of you, and he curses when his spent dick gives an interested twitch.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you croak out, shaking as you stretch your legs out. “If you so much as touch me right now, I might pass out.”

Chan’s lips quirk at the playfulness in your tone, but he knew there was some truth to your words. So he asks you if he can go get something to clean you up, only moving when you give him a clear response of yes. He’s back with a clean, damp cotton towel a minute later, as well as a bottle of water.

You groan in thanks when he makes you drink, patiently waiting until you’re finished to call your attention.

“Baby,” he calls, and you turn your head to face him. He holds the towel up as a form of a question, and you sigh, knowing it was better than nothing. You weren’t in any position to shower right now.

“Be careful, pl-“

“Shh.” Chan smoothes, starting by rubbing a thumb on your thigh. You were so high-strung that even that simple touch startled you, but Chan takes his sweet time and doesn’t rush you, distracting you with kisses every time you spasm.

He finishes cleaning you up soon enough, doing all the work and refusing to let you lift even a finger. You end up cuddled together after, just basking in each other’s warmth and your post-orgasm glows.

Sex with Chan was always amazing, because no matter how slow or how hard and fast you two went, it always ended in sweet kisses and cuddling. Chan never takes his hands off you, not even for a second, always attentive to your needs and wants. You wouldn’t trade it for anything in the whole wide world.

In the background, a phone pings, jolting you out of your daze.

“Babe,” Chan calls when he unlocks his phone, chuckling under his breath. “I really did fuck you six ways to sunday.”

You prop your head up on his arm, peering up at his phone lazily. The first thing you see is a picture of you on the lockscreen, taken from when you were napping on his studio couch. The second thing you see is the time and date.

Sunday, 1:34 am.

You snort, turning away from the harsh glare of his phone to bury your face in his bicep. “That wasn’t even six. That was like— three. Or four at most. I don’t know. I blacked out.”

Chan snickers, locking his phone and tossing it on the nightstand. He’ll deal with the notifications tomorrow. For now...

He turns back to you, lips tugging into a smirk as he trails the tip of his fingers down your back, making you shudder.

“Wanna make it six, then? We still have time.”

You immediately yelp, slapping his hand away and rolling off him. You wiggle under the covers, tucking it around you to shield your body away from Chan’s hands.

“Are you crazy?! I can’t even feel my lower half!” You squawk, glaring at him from where you’re peeking behind the covers.

Chan laughs, that squeaky loud laugh you love that has his whole body shaking and eyes crinkling. He crawls over to you and nuzzles his face on top of your head, giggles pressing against your hair.

“Babyyy,” he whines, still laughing. “Let me in. I’m cold.”

You narrow your eyes at him playfully. “What will you trade me?”

Chan’s eyebrows wiggle. “Your blanket for my body.”

You groan in disgust, turning your body away from your laughing boyfriend. Chan usually thinks he’s soooo hilarious, and he believes you do too.

Hiding, you bite back a smile.

“Yah,” he complains now, wrapping his lanky limbs around your burrito looking form from behind. “Come out already. I wanna cuddle.”

You wiggle out the covers soon enough, because you truthfully wanted to cuddle too, and plus, Chan’s pecs were nice to lie on. He welcomes you in his arms easy, huffing out a laugh when you smooch one of his pecs lovingly.

“I’m kinda hungry.” You admit after a few minutes, making Chan groan in disbelief.

“You’re insatiable. There’s no end to that stomach, is there?” Chan asks rhetorically, and you open your mouth to answer because you want to annoy him, but Chan catches you before you could. His hand comes up to cover your mouth, though his hand was so big that he ends up covering your nose as well. “Nope. Shut up. Quiet now.”

You laugh behind his hand, squirming and struggling until he finally relents when you lick his palm. And as if he didn’t just fuck his cum into you earlier, Chan scrunches his face and says, “Gross.”

You scoff. “You fuck me well into the next day and you’re expecting me not to get hungry?!”

“But this kitchen is so far,” Chan whines, even though you didn’t really ask him to get food for you. You’re just about to tell him that, when he adds, “-but fine. I’ll miss you for all the time that it takes you to get food.”

Chan flops back on the bed, eyes shut and clearly expecting you to leave. You squawk, pretending to be offended and swatting at his chest. “You’re just going to let your girlfriend go out into the night like that?! When I can’t even walk?!”

Chan opens one eye, amused. “The night is just 15 steps away.”

“Fine.” you huff, scooting back to your position. You drop your head down on Chan’s chest-- hard-- making him yelp. “I wasn’t even that hungry anyway. And we don’t even have food.”

He laughs, hand automatically finding its way to your hair. “I’ll get you whatever you want tomorrow, I promise. We’ll get brunch on the way to getting groceries, okay? How about that?”

You sniffle. “I want chicken.”

Chan rolled his eyes, but there was no heat behind it, just fondness. “Then we’ll get chicken.”

“‘kay.”

You sigh happily, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of Chan’s fingers carding through your hair. His pecs were the perfect pillows, and combined with your post-sex exhaustion and Chan’s warmth, you were sure you were about to fall sleep. Dreamland was one step away, and you’re just about to fall into the waiting arms of a deep sleep when suddenly--

Chan’s stomach growls. Loud.

You burst out laughing, body curling up and shaking as you turn to Chan, who was hiding his face behind his arms in embarrassment.

“And I’m the insatiable one?”

“Not one word.” Chan huffs, refusing to meet your eyes as he grabs some clothes to throw at you. They land on your face, a move you knew was deliberate because you were still giggling.

Chan was the cutest when he was flustered, and even in the dim lighting of your room, you could see how red his ears were.

So you both bundle up— in only a few articles of clothing since it was an unusually hot night— just for the sake of looking decent. Chan wiggles in some sweatpants, and you slip on his shirt and boxers.

When you get up from the bed, Chan-- ever the gentleman that he is-- genuinely panics when you flail due to your legs buckling, and his arms are around you holding you up before you could even blink.

“You really can’t walk?” Chan asks, sounding hilariously horrified.

“No-” you laugh, “don’t look so scared. You didn’t break me, idiot. I can definitely still walk, just let me get used to it.”

But Chan seemed to think otherwise, because suddenly, your feet are off the ground and you’re being carried bridal style. You yelp, arms coming up to lock around Chan’s neck so you don’t fall.

“What.” This is the second time you’ve been carried to the kitchen in under a day, courtesy of your muscly boyfriend who seemed to think picking people up was something you can do casually.

“It’d take too long. I’m hungry.” Chan huffs, and you roll your eyes, amused. Chan could be a baby when he was hungry, and this was evident in how he rummages through the fridge with little huffs after he sets you down.

“There’s nothing to eat.” He sighs, as if the both of you didn’t already know that.

You groan, leaning against the counter. “I’m pretty sure we have ice cream?”

“That’s not very healthy.” Chan frowns, but opens the freezer door anyway and grabs the tub when he sees it.

You only turn around for a second to get a spoon, but when you face Chan again, he’s already sitting cross-legged on the floor, brows furrowed as he attempts to use the lid to scoop out some ice cream. You huff out a breath, exasperated and fond at the same time.

He looks up at the sound, then grins when you meet eyes. He opens his arms then, beckoning you over, and you carefully sit between his legs. Chan shifts a little bit to the side, hooking his chin on your shoulder. You move your hair to the other side so it won’t bother Chan, and he presses a quick peck to your now exposed cheek in thanks.

You yelp when Chan places the icy tub on your bare thighs, then glare when he just giggles. Chan’s shirt was huge on you, so he pulled it over your knees, giving the tub of ice cream a blanket of sorts to sit on and sparing your thighs.

Then, he takes the spoon from your hand, stabbing it through the iced treat with all the strength of a man who works out.

It barely pokes through. The ice cream was too frozen.

But you still wow exaggeratedly in an attempt to boost his ego, squealing when Chan digs his free hand on your side and tickles you. The spoon still gets a tiny, tiny bit of ice cream though, and you hate that you still blush when Chan feeds it to you.

“I think we have to wait for this to melt.” Chan says, blowing on the tub. Your eyebrows were furrowed in confusion, giggling.

“Why are you blowing on it, then?”

“Why am I- oh.”

You laugh at the dumbstruck expression on Chan’s face, finally realizing he was unconsciously blowing on frozen ice cream. Your laugh echoes throughout the apartment, and it’s only at that moment that you realized how quiet it was. The refrigerator hums beside you two, but other than that and some cars passing by outside, it was complete silence.

You realize how dark it was too, the only light sources coming from the refrigerator, and your bedroom.

“Shouldn’t we turn on the light?” You ask, and Chan looks up from where he’s violently stabbing the ice cream.

“Eh. Fridge works. Plus it’s hot, so I’m not closing this.” Chan shrugs, then pauses when he sees the look on your face. He chuckles, pulling you closer to him by the waist. “Don’t be scared, baby. I’m right here, remember?”

“I’m not scared,” you scoff, but scoot closer to Chan anyway.

The ice cream eventually melts enough for the spoon to dig in, and you and Chan take turns feeding each other. Chan had his back against some drawers, while you were tucked between Chan’s legs, head on his shoulder and ice cream tub on your stomach. The condensation was wetting your shirt and making the cold seep to your stomach, but you didn’t mind. You were too comfortable to move.

Chan was making a habit of kissing you after he fed you a spoon, and you liked the feeling of his cold lips tasting like strawberries more than you’d like to admit. Some tongue slips in after a while, but it doesn’t go any further than that, both of you too exhausted.

The dim light of the fridge casts a yellowish hue on yours and Chan’s lower halves, creating shadows. You play with that for a moment, wiggling your legs and making shadow puppets of animals with your hands. Chan watches you silently, so silent that you think for a moment that he’d fallen asleep.

But then he drops the spoon into the tub— and all while keeping his other arm around your waist— reaches a hand out to the light so it creates a shadow, and shapes his hand into…

...half of a heart.

You grin stupidly, and the way your heart rattles inside your chest shouldn’t be normal. At all. You had to get checked out. This was the type of cheesy things Chan loved to do daily, yet you reacted to each and every one of them like it’s his first time doing so.

He loved leaving heart doodles on the whiteboard by the fridge that had your schedules in it, particularly hearts that were next to your name. He dedicates songs to you, writes about you, and even sings to you when you want him to. He stops by the practice room when he knows you’re inside, slipping in quickly to say hello and kiss your forehead, uncaring of the loud teasing from trainees.

But if you couldn’t say hello, if you were in the middle of something, he always, always made sure to leave a heart on the mirrors that were fogged up from intense dancing. Sometimes it would just be a heart, sometimes it was a doodle. Other times it was a message like; good luck, or see you at lunch, or hey sexy with a winking face.

Most of the time, it’s three simple words.

I love you, it would read.

“Yah,” Chan complains, jolting you out of your sappy stupor. “Are you going to leave me hanging?”

He’s frowning now, wiggling the little half heart around impatiently. You grin at that, muttering about how he was being a baby and making him huff. But then you finally reach forward, painfully aware of how your heart jumped from doing this one simple action.

You complete the heart, and you both watch the shadow that it forms.

Chan sighs happily, turning his head to press a quick, cold kiss to your cheek. You knew the heart wasn’t going to stay for long, since your arms would get tired, but Chan doesn’t break the heart to pull away.

Instead, he intertwines your fingers, letting the shadow from some weird version of your hands together, and it’s only then that he brings your hands back. You grin as you lean back against him again, Chan wrapping both arms around your waist and kissing the top of your head.

At 2:04 am, you sit with Chan on the kitchen floor, the refrigerator both illuminating and cooling your bodies, empty ice cream tub beside you.

2:08 am, Chan carries you back to your bedroom. Not because you couldn’t walk still, but because he loved the feeling of you in his arms, head tucked safely into the crook of his neck.

2:09 am, you and Chan slip under the covers, and you giggle when he scolds you about kicking off the blanket in your sleep. You placate him with a kiss and a promise to keep him warm.

And at 2:16 am on a Sunday, after a couple more kisses and hushed sweet nothings, you end up with your ear pressed against Chan’s chest, the beating of his heart combined with his quiet breathing lulling you sleep.

Chan stays awake for a couple minutes more, ensuring you were comfortable and finally resting. He wraps his around you when you shift in your sleep, hand automatically cupping the back of your head. Keeping you close, right where his heart was. He knew you weren’t going anywhere, but every second with you was something he knew he had to treasure.

“Y/N,” he sighed, burying his face in your hair. “I love you. So much. Too much, I think. Sometimes I love you so much that I don’t know what to do with myself.” he pauses, swallowing. “Honestly… just saying it doesn’t feel enough anymore. How can I show you I love you? At this point, I want to grab every person in the street and list out all the reasons why.”

He snorts at the mental image, shoulders shaking with quiet laughter. “That sounds a bit crazy, isn’t it? I have an infinite number of reasons… so if I do that to every single person, how long would that take me? Huh. Should I really do the math on that?” he pauses, then: “God, even in your sleep you’re driving me crazy.”

You murmur something in your sleep, catching his attention. You were mumbling nonsense, but when his hand cups your cheek, you quiet down.

Smiling wistfully, he adds, “but... I don’t care. Really, Y/N, I’ll give you all my love if it means staying like this with you forever.”

Pressing one last kiss to your forehead, Chan finally gets comfortable and closes his eyes.

He’s much more vulnerable when he knows you’re asleep because he’d be too flustered if you replied, but the responding snore you give him a few seconds later makes him laugh again. Maybe you were unconsciously trying to respond to him, maybe you were just really deep in dreamland.

Either way, Chan falls asleep with a smile on his face, and the love of his life in his arms.

Sunday, 12:47 pm.

The brunch Chan had promised turns into a late lunch, because by the time you both woke up the next-- the same?-- day, it was already quarter past noon.

True to your predictions last night, you were sore. Chan runs you a hot bath, genuinely looking worried now, but you assure him that it wasn’t something that a few painkillers couldn’t fix. But he still looked uneasy, so you raised an eyebrow.

“What, you’re gonna regret the way you fucked me until I cried?”

Chan turns as red as a tomato, and you laugh as he spins on his heel and leaves you in the bathroom, shouting something about getting the medicine.

It did hurt, but you kind of liked it, considering the reason why you were sore. Chan frowns and questions why you were red in the face when he gets back, worried you were getting a fever, but you just flush even more and shoo him away.

When you get out of the bath, the first thing that greets you is the smell of chicken. Chan must have ordered while you bathed, and your heart warms at the thought of your boyfriend remembering your hunger and craving for chicken.

That is, until you find Chan on the couch already munching on a drumstick. He looks up at you in alarm when you walk in, face guilty.

“God, you’re insatiable.” You mock with your best impression of Chan’s voice, and the attempt makes him laugh too much to be mad about it.

You gorge yourselves on chicken and soda, some reruns of an anime you both love playing on the TV. You’re barely paying attention, more focused on the fan you had turned on blowing cool air on your face and the feeling of Chan massaging your feet.

You don’t even notice that you drifted off, jolting awake to the sound of an explosion coming from the TV. You must have been asleep for a while, because the table was clear of any takeout boxes and soda cans. At that moment, Chan comes out of the bathroom, freshly showered. He smiles when he sees you squinting at him, disoriented and half awake.

“Come on, baby. Time to get groceries.”

You didn’t bother to dress up much, considering it was hot out and you were not about to put fashion first and experience a possible heat stroke. So you steal another one of Chan’s shirts, ignoring his half-hearted protests.

He had plenty of other shirts. He could use those.

Chan gives you a look when you come bounding out of the bedroom in his shirt, but you knew he liked his clothes on you. The pink tinging his cheeks was more than enough proof. Plus, you had a diversion.

“Help me?” You ask, and Chan tilts his head, confused. But then you bring out a box, velvet and rectangular and blue.

It was the box that holds the necklace Chan gifted you for your birthday, and considering your profession, you couldn’t wear it everyday, hating the thought of it being drenched in sweat or god forbid, breaking while you dance.

So you wear it on your off days, keeping it in the box most of the time to be safe. Chan chuckles, smiling stupidly as he takes the necklace out the box, snorting when you scold him to be careful with it.

“Alright, alright. Just turn around, will you?” You huff, but turn around obediently, moving your hair away so Chan could do it easily. The cool metal of the necklace settling against your neck has you shivering, but so does the soft kiss that Chan presses on your exposed nape and shoulder. The pendant— a compass— sits between your collarbones, and you hold it between your fingers gently, feeling giddy.

Chan watches you with a soft smile for a few seconds, taking you in. It’s only when he notices the time that he regretfully bursts your bubble, grabbing your attention with a kiss to your cheek and taking your free hand in his.

“Ready?” he asks, eyes shining, and your heart flutters.

“Yeah.” You smile, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “Let’s go.”

And though your diversion had worked for a moment, you knew yourself that it wouldn’t last. Chan still complains as you walk down the street, intertwined hands swinging between you, talking about how he had nothing to wear.

“You should just walk around shirtless then.” You suggest, winking, and you barely manage to stop an embarrassing shriek when Chan pretends to trip you. There was no way you were going to fall though, because Chan had a tight grip on your arms, but you still punch him on the shoulder for it.

Chan reacts dramatically, exaggerating his yelp of pain, as if he didn’t have hard muscle surrounding his entire body. You roll your eyes, leaving him on the sidewalk, ignoring his calls of your name mixed with his laughter.

You laugh and stumble on the way to the grocery store like idiots, and the time it took for you to get there probably took twice the time than it originally would, with how much you two were goofing off. But you do eventually get there in one piece, albeit breathless and giggly.

You guys had no specific routine for grocery shopping, just that there was a limit to snacks, and it was 5 for each of you. No more than that.

(This rule is usually never followed, but you guys keep it and remind each other of it at the entrance, just for the sake of acting like you were responsible adults who could control their cravings and knew how to stick to their budget.)

Thus, grocery shopping with you was always an experience, because you and Chan were both very passionate about food and would sometimes have different opinions. It would end in tiny fights, but it gets resolved just as quickly as it starts.

Either Chan relents because you looked cute and he secretly wants it, or you relent because Chan looked cute and you secretly want it.

So more often than not, other shoppers would find two people disputing in the middle of some aisle, and it’s just the two of you hissing back and forth about the pros and cons of a certain product.

Like now.

“We don’t eat that cereal. You don’t even like how it tastes.”

“You don’t like how it tastes. I ate the entire bag when we last bought this.”

Chan raises an eyebrow. “And did you do that willingly?”

“Well, no, but-” You stomp your foot, frustrated. All the tantrum does is bring a smile to Chan’s face, which wasn’t what you wanted. You weren’t being cute. You needed him to understand. “Ah, you know I don’t like wasting food!”

“So, why, pray tell, do you want to buy that?”

“Because-” you start, and Chan flicks his gaze down to the cereal in your hands, confused. But then you turn the box around and-

Ah.

“Look,” you point at the bowl stuck on the back of the box, grinning excitedly. “They have an ugly black cat now.”

Simply put, the box that you were holding was a brand of cereal that was for kids, and the taste of the actual cereal was too medicine-y for you and Chan. However, the sole reason you had bought one before is because of the freebie the cereal came with, a small plastic bowl with a white cat painted on it.

To be honest, the cat was kind of ugly and terrifying looking, but you were drawn to it for inexplicable reasons. Chan, who was unknowing of the taste of the cereal at that time, simply nodded and let you take the box home.

The cereal itself was crossed out from the very first taste, but you’ve both grown fond of the ugly white cat bowl, sometimes using it for non-cereal things.

(Like wine, after a long, long day at work. It typically consists of the bowl being passed back and forth between you two, instead of just chugging the entire bottle down like animals. You both had too much class for that.)

Chan sighs exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. But your excitement was infectious, and he finds himself smiling at the ugly little thing too.

Still, he tries to be the responsible adult and reasons, “you’re already 3 snacks past the limit. Plus, don’t we already have a bowl at home?”

“I know we do! But look at this black cat, Channie. Ugly White Cat can get a friend, plus if we get another bowl, that means we can match. Matching ugly cat bowls.” You explain, holding the box up to his face and wiggling it. “Think about it.”

And Chan did think about it for a moment. You really didn’t need another bowl, having plenty enough for the two of you and possible guests, but the prospect of matching with you…

And ugly white cat did look kind of lonely...

Fuck. He was getting too weak for this. You look at him with wide eyes, pleading and seemingly innocent, but you knew what effect that had on him.

He sighs, but there’s a smile on his face when he grumbles. “Fine.”

You cheer, pressing a long kiss to his cheek before you scramble away again, mentioning something about juice boxes.

Chan watches you skip down the aisle, grinning at the way your arms clutched the cereal box close to your chest, as if someone was going to take it away from you. He watches until you reach the end, crouching down at the selection of juice boxes.

He knew you took your juice box selection very seriously, evident in the way you were frowning and reading label packages. You looked kind of ridiculous, Chan’s old shirt bunched around your waist and a cereal box with some toy for kids tucked in your arms.

His shirt, which was entirely too big for you, starts sliding down your shoulders due to your crouched position. This reveals your neck, and he flushes when he sees memories of last night blooming on your skin.

And even from this distance, he sees the necklace and the way it glints, making you look much more ethereal.

After a few seconds, you apparently read something you didn’t like, because your head snaps up suddenly, catching Chan’s attention just so you could point at a box and make a disgusted face.

Chan laughs, despite not knowing what the hell you just pointed to. But you seem to be satisfied by his response, because you grace him with the prettiest smile, the one that he loved among your many other smiles— the one that makes your eyes crinkle and your cheeks bigger.

Chan’s breath catches in his throat at the sight. Something in his heart sings.

He loves you. He was so in love with you that it hurt, and he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life by your side. To sleep with you, wake up with you, argue about groceries in pajamas with you, have matching ugly cat bowls with you, and come home with you— all of that. Always.

So when you turn back to your juice boxes, Chan hurriedly pulls out his phone, scrolling through his contact list quickly and tapping the call button on a familiar name.

Chan and you meet eyes again when you hold up two juice boxes of different flavors for him to pick. He knows immediately that you picked the orange one because he likes it, but Chan also knows that you couldn’t stand the orange flavor. So he tilts his head to the right, choosing apple.

You blink in surprise, but he could tell you were trying to hide the fact that you were giddy he picked apple. He smiles softly, heart singing again.

On his phone, the call he made finally picks up on the fifth ring.

“Hey, Bin? You busy? No, no, we’re fine. Yeah, I just-- remember the jewellery shop we went to last month? Do you still have their address? Yeah, that one. I threw mine out because I didn’t want Y/N to suspect anything.”

A pause, then he snorts, “I’m aware I just bought her a necklace, yes. But I’m not buying a necklace this time. Really. Yeah, um. Well, I think I—“ Chan swallows, eyes nervously going back to you.

You had both the cereal and juice box in your arms now, seemingly on your way back to Chan, but then you get distracted by free samples of cheese. You pretend to reject the offer for a moment, but falter in your step when the saleslady tries again. Chan snorts softly when you take five samples unashamedly, heart singing louder.

Will you wait for me? / Of course. You know I always will.

You were the only one who ever made him feel like this.

Honestly… just saying it doesn’t feel enough anymore. How can I show you I love you?

I’ll give you all my love if it means staying like this with you forever.

Your eyes meet again. You’ve balanced the plate of cheese on top of your boxes, face looking all too proud and excited as you gestured to the cheese, beckoning him over. He nods, indicating he’ll be there, and you go back to talking animatedly with the saleslady.

“Hyung?” Changbin’s voice on the other line calls, waiting for him to continue. “You think...?”

“Ah, no… I’m sure.” Chan smiles giddily, heart now creating symphonies in his chest. He’s never been more sure in his life.

All of this. Always.

“A ring. I’m buying a ring.”

[tofumedic]

hello hello!! may i please request headcanons for satan and mammon with a fem!mc who has a very nurturing, motherly personality? perhaps some hurt/comfort from mc to the boys, with mc letting the boys rest their head in her lap as she provides comfort after a hard day? (my apologies for how particular this request is 😅)

Satan + Mammon with a Nuturing Fem! MC

(hi dear ofc you can! i did try to use feminine pronouns more in this instead of you so hopefully it isnt too different than normal and no worries youre absolutely okay ♡!)

Satan

Nothing had seemed to be going right for him today, Satan was supposed to be a golden child out of his family, working hard and keeping prestige to not only their names but to Diavolo and the student council. And none of it compared to the fact he personally had decided the same was for MC, he was one of her pacts and to do wrong would do wrong by her and he wouldn't be responsible for such an sully on her part.

He was worth it yet with what started as a simple mistake on his test to be chewed out by Lucifer, it felt like it had restarted all his progress of fixing his relationship with the named brother. It brought out the worst in him which only angered his brother further, pushing the argument into deeper territory of spite and wrath.

Satan wasn't even a fan of being so angry, he was known for being composed and it always made him feel sick when he came back from it in a calm state to become aware of what prized possession he had broken. He was dangerous and there was nothing he could do to fix it, it was apart of him and he was apart of it, broken and escalating, termites eating away his wooden exterior that made others pleased and proud. He hadn't even seen MC yet today since classes, though it was probably for the best so she didn't get hurt, he still felt that loneliness and the longing that came with it. He couldn't help but to be selfish in that way despite the sick taste such contradictions left him with.

It's not long in his battle of temptation versus virtue that he finds himself at her door, quiet in uncommon guilt not proud of his actions.

But she cared for him, the love was always there it was not desperate or known for evaporating. MC was always caring, just in general, build into her foundation for her support to be strong and stable pillars protecting the floor from meeting the ceiling.

The concept was natural, it was as simple and maintained as her breathing, her heart beating. Just being in her room, alone with just his MC, breathing in what smelled like home and looked like solace, it was already enough.

Yet her arms were still open for him, letting him know it was okay to depend on others, that she was real and there for him with every puff of air that left her being.

She would ask him, voice quiet to be gentle on his ears, over aware of every sound outside of himself, if he was okay to move. If he wanted to sit down with her.

And so Satan ended up, his wrath long since ended and having left him winded, laying down with his head in the lap of MC. His hair being played with, smoothing out the ends and undoing knots with weaving fingers.

His hands held together close to his face resting on her legs just as well, and stubborn tears trying not to fall anymore.

Mammon

It was exhausting, not only being one of the least favorite brothers, but also being requested for meaningless small jobs for witches, always being pulled around in different directions, tugs of uncomfortable pacts always threatening to split him apart from stealing him in different directions.

And to be constantly yelled at for his sin, to give into it was uncontrollable, a thing they always told MC is that demons can't resist temptation so she should always be careful at RAD or forbid, alone.

So why did they have to get on his case about all the time? He really tries his best, he's always trying to improve himself or make up for it when he can yet that always gets invalidated the second he steps just an inch out of line.

He hadn't even talked to MC all day, her being busy with his other brothers while he had stacks of physical work that wasn't even paying like how he enjoyed modeling.

It was late then, many witches shooing him away once they had no need for him, more voices telling him that he was a nuisance and getting in the way.

Mammon felt the ringing of another pact calling for him, yet this one was more home-y, safe and almost summoning him like it was a request rather than demanding him. It was sweet, it felt like being wrapped in a bunch of blankets while it was winter outside.

It was MC's pact, and he was back to see his room. His stuff was clean, including his model cars and other collections of human world bottle caps and coins and other random treasures he had saved on walks around town.

She really did that for him? Helped clean up what he left a mess that morning before it was even remotely bright?

His exhaustion from his long day was evident in how he slugged over, his shoulders loose and aching from stiff posture, and his shoes still on his feet as he opened his arms as slowly as his step speed, wrapping MC up in them until he was only processing her and nothing else.

There was just how her clothes felt against his skin, the sound of rustles of adjusting the position, her breathing by his ear and- ah, her arms also reaching to hold him as well and even rubbing small circles into his back. She remembered how that made him feel, it was nice to be remembered in such a positive way.

And he soon started to feel lucky in addition to his tiredness.

So when she offered that he should get some rest, to lay down and relax he would take that part, and trading in the next half of her going to grab the hidden left overs of dinner with her hands lightly pressed to his cheeks as if holding together the glue of the face until he dried.

[uvobreakmylegs]

The Sixth Floor Game

heavy inspiration from the Elevator Game, as well as the Three Kings Game and a little bit of Silent Hill 3

demon!Shalnark

Warnings: blood, death, kidnapping

The Sixth Floor Game is a ritual that will put you into contact with otherworldly forces and, if done correctly, can take you to a world that exists outside of our own. To play this game, you must follow all of the instructions that have been written below. Take care to remember all of them, as one mistake could result in death.

First you must enter a dark and empty building that has an elevator and only five floors in between the times of 3 and 4 AM. The only items you can bring with you are a fully charged cellphone, an item of sentimental value to you and an offering for the demon.

It is not recommended that you give an offering that bares any resemblance to that of a clown or magician.

When you enter the elevator, you need to ride it up to the 5th floor and leave the offering just outside the elevator doors and then head back down to the 3rd floor. When you reach the 3rd floor, you then need to exit the elevator and use your phone to call the last person in your call history. The game begins when you call that number.

When the line is picked up, you must say “I want to visit the 6th floor”.

Be warned that at this point you may hear strange noises on the other end, as calling the number at this time and place has put you in contact with a demon. It is possible to gauge whether the demon is happy with your offering or not based off the things he may say, if anything at all. Do not hang up on the demon; you will go back up the elevator when he hangs up on you.

There are three possibilities awaiting you when you go back to the 5th floor to see what has happened to your offering.

If the demon doesn't care for your offering but hasn't been upset by it, you will find it in the same place as you left it outside the elevator. You must then collect the offering, go back down to the first floor and leave the building.

If the demon has been offended by your offering, you will find the offering destroyed in some way. Leave the building immediately if you find this, as it means that the demon is angry with you and will try to kill you if you stay too long.

But if the demon likes your offering, there will be no trace of it when you get back up to the 5th floor. If this has happened, you must close the elevator doors and then hit the button for the 5th floor again. This time, instead of the doors opening again, the elevator will begin to move up, taking you to a 6th floor that shouldn't exist.

The amount of time it will take to reach the 6th floor varies from person to person, but it should not take longer than two minutes.

When you reach the 6th floor, you will find yourself in another world. Accounts of what this other world looks like also varies from person to person. Some have said that the floor they entered was run down and wrecked to pieces in some parts. Others have said that the floor didn't look any different from the other floors. Regardless of the state of the floor, the one thing that is consistent is a giant glowing red cross that can be seen if you look outside. You will see nothing else outside aside from the cross.

It is not recommended that you to try to open any windows or try to climb down the building.

You are free to explore this other world until you are ready to leave. It does not matter how long you stay in the other world. When you want to leave you must simply walk back to the elevator and hit the button for the first floor. It is possible that you may come across the offering that you left for the demon earlier while you explore.

Do not take the offering back; it now belongs to the demon.

Reality on the 6th floor can be distorted and you may find yourself becoming confused. If you find yourself entering into such a state, take out the sentimental item you brought and focus on it. It will keep you from losing yourself and allow you to continue as you explore the other world.

Above all else, while exploring the other world, you must never look behind you. Even though the demon may have liked your offering, he also likes trickery and will try to make you turn around to look at him by making noise or by speaking to you. If you look at the demon you will be unable to leave the 6th floor and he will keep you there forever as he has claimed you as his.

It is not recommended that you speak to the demon even if you don't look at him.

Regardless of the outcome of your offering, when you have returned to the 1st floor you must exit the building and you cannot enter the building again for any reason until the time is 6 AM.

If you have upset the demon with your offering, it is not recommended that you try the game again.

There is no reward for playing this game. There is only the experience of leaving this world and venturing to one beyond our own.

This game is dangerous and could result in the death of the player, so please consider the possible outcomes of playing before you decide to do so.

You finished reading aloud the instructions displayed on the sketchy-looking site and looked to your friend Farah, who had her hands clasped together as she looked hopefully at you and the rest of your group who had gathered in her apartment.

“Well?” she asked after a moment, “what do you think?”

“.... Why does a demon have a phone?” you asked.

“Yeah and what phone company does he use?” Cliff asked after you, “or do demons have their own phone companies.”

“You're missing the point!” Farah exclaimed.

“And the point is....?”

“We need to try this!”

There was a collective groan throughout the apartment. The other one in the group, Carmen, rubbed their forehead as they told Farah “you're our friend and we love you, but I don't think any of us want to repeat that time we tried summoning ghosts in a public bathroom.”

“This is nothing like that!” Farah insisted, “it said that we need a building with five floors and an elevator! I promise, there won't be anything gross!”

“Where do we get a building like that?” Carmen asked.

Farah pointed to Cliff.

“You work security overnight at that one office building, right?”

“Do you seriously think I'm going to risk my job for this?” he asked.

“We won't do anything bad! We'll just play a game and leave some stuff on the top floor. If the demon doesn't like it we'll take it with us. It's literally in the rules that we need to clean up after ourselves.”

Farah stopped herself, but you could tell she wanted to continue about getting a chance to visit another world. She loved the supernatural and those kinds of urban legends, but she never wanted to try these things on her own.

Carmen sighed.

“Is anyone else even remotely interested in trying this?” they asked.

Neither you or Cliff said anything at first, and Farah's face began to fall as no one volunteered. Then, when it looked like Carmen was about to speak again, you tentatively raised your hand.

“It might be fun,” you said. At least in terms of memories of 'dumb shit you did when you were younger'.

Farah beamed while Carmen gave you a look that screamed 'I hate you'.

With you willing to give the game a chance, the other two ended up conceding to do the same, and Cliff had been convinced by Farah to let you all in a week from that day when he worked at that particular building. With his shift being 11 PM to 7 the next morning, there would be plenty of time for you to play the game and then let him get back to work. As long as nothing was messed up by the end of it, there would be no harm.

At first you were rather stumped on what to give the demon as an offering. Farah was the same, but she ended up deciding on a horror anthology book from the 1920s. Carmen just got a shirt they had been wanting since they were certain that this ritual wasn't going to work and they wanted to spend the money on something that was useful to them. Cliff went out of his way to get a particularly creepy clown doll. He claimed that he wasn't annoyed by all of this, but you found yourself questioning that statement when he sent a picture of it through the group text. You had no clue where the fuck he had found something that unsettling.

The night you all had settled on was approaching and you still didn't have an offering. It shouldn't have been that hard, and yet you felt like if there was the chance that you were going to run into some otherworldly creature, you didn't want to half-ass it and make it upset. If the supernatural was real it seemed better to try and keep it on your side.

You found yourself browsing a few online forums where people were discussing the game. Unsurprisingly, most said that the ritual didn't work, and the few that claimed that it did had written some uninspired stories about how the demon had told them how they were going to die or when the world was going to end, with at least one mentioning the coming of the Antichrist. When you scrolled down to the end of the page you were pretty bored of all of the comments you read and you were about to exit the page when one particular comment caught your eye:

the demon likes bats

It was buried beneath the comments of others, and nobody had interacted with it. Common sense would tell you that this was just more bullshit, but it just seemed like such a random thing to make up. Nowhere in the instructions had it mentioned bats, and no one else on the forums had said anything about it either. The user who had posted it hadn't interacted with anything else and seemingly just came on to put out that little tidbit. For that reason, you found yourself wondering if their ritual had been successful.

You leaned back in your chair while you considered the information.

Bats, huh?

And then by complete chance the next day, when you were in the mall trying to find something because it the date you'd set for the game was only hours away and you still had nothing, you spotted something through the window of a toy store: a pink stuffed bat plush.

It was rather overpriced, but if that comment was correct, then it should be worth it. If not, at least you got something cute out of it.

Surprisingly it was Carmen and Farah that had been less than impressed by what you had brought.

“I didn't realize you wanted to offend the demon too,” Farah commented bitterly.

“Maybe the demon likes pink,” you responded as you shrugged.

Nothing more was said about it as Cliff opened the front door of the building. In exchange for doing this, he made the rest of you go about the building to turn off all any lights that had been left on which you all grumbled about but agreed was fair enough. By the time you were finished scouring the building, it was 3:13 in the morning.

It had been agreed that Farah would go first, and the rest of you waited in a darker spot of the parking lot while she went in, watching the building to see if you could spot her movements through the windows. You had pulled out your phone, as you were the last person she had called. It would probably be proven pretty fast if this was real or not if she called you and it went through to you, though Carmen had said that they felt it was likely that Farah would probably not call and just say that she had.

You checked to make sure the sentimental object you had brought was in your pocket: a small, stuffed bear keychain that you had gotten as a present from a childhood friend. It was special to you, but you didn't feel like you'd be absolutely devastated if anything happened to it.

Farah came out a few minutes later, carrying her book and looking disappointed.

“It didn't work,” she said as she sighed.

“Did you call?” you asked.

“Yes,” she answered, somewhat indignant. To prove that she had, she pulled out her phone and opened up her call history. It listed her last call as being made to you only a few minutes ago. When you opened up your own call history, it showed that she had called you over an hour ago.

….. Okay. That was weird.

Carmen went next, and it was the same story with them, as they came out a little bit later still holding their shirt. Unlike Farah, they didn't seem too upset.

Cliff went after, holding that creepy clown doll and waving it around a bit as he walked to the elevator.

It was quiet again after that. You, Carmen and Farah waited patiently in the parking lot while the electric lampposts around you hummed. Cliff had been talking earlier so you hadn't noticed it, but it seemed eerily quiet outside. Usually there were bugs or other forms of wildlife at night that would keep things from being silent, but right now there was nothing; only the humming electricity of the lot and the occasional comment from Carmen.

Farah seemed anxious as she looked at the building, her hands playing with the charm on her phone while she waited for any sign of Cliff. The thing with the phone history seemed to convince her this was for real and she seemed nervous about Cliff's offering. Carmen didn't appear to be the same way and seemed more impatient, who'd begun to tap their foot as they waited.

“Did you hear anything when you called?” you asked the both of them. They looked at you, and both shook their heads.

“It was quiet when I called,” Farah said.

“Same here,” said Carmen. Farah smiled at that.

“That means that it's real, right?” she asked.

“Sure.”

Carmen wasn't the best person to be around when they were tired and cranky, and you could see that Farah wasn't trying to take it personally. But looking back to Carmen, you noticed a slight furrow to their brow, and the impatient tapping seemed to have increased. At first glance you would have assumed that they were just really done with this whole thing, but as you kept looking, it seemed less like they were annoyed and more more like they were apprehensive.

“Cliff's taking a while,” they commented.

It was taking Cliff longer than the two of them, you realized, and you were about to try and crack a joke about him making it to the sixth floor when you saw the elevator doors in the lobby slide open, followed by Cliff walking out.

More like storming out, actually.

“What the hell?!” he exclaimed as he shoved open the main doors.

“Don't shout!” Carmen responded, “this is your job that we're not supposed to be doing this at, remember? What're you going to do if someone calls the police on us?”

Cliff ignored them, looking to Farah as he continued “are you serious? You want this stupid thing to be real that badly?!”

He was holding something that he then thrust in front of Farah's face. It was the clown doll that he'd brought.

Or at least, what was left of it.

It looked like it had been stepped on repeatedly, the body broken and the head having been caved in. One of the legs were also missing, you noted.

“You.... You think I did that?” Farah asked.

“Who else!” Cliff yelled.

“I've been here the whole time!” she shrieked back.

“She has,” you added as you felt the need to jump in, “none of us have moved from this spot.”

“Oh fuck off,” he answered, “I needed to return this. What the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Maybe you shouldn't have gone out of your way to be an asshole,” Farah spat back.

It quickly devolved into an argument between the two, with Carmen pulling you back when you tried to jump in again. It made sense why Cliff was upset, but Farah hadn't done anything.

“.... Should I not go?” you whispered to Carmen after a bit.

“No!” Cliff exclaimed, this time at you, “you should go! Do this stupid thing, and then let me get back to my work!”

“You're not allowed to go back in for the rest of the night,” Farah pointed out.

By that point Cliff was done, and he stormed off to another area in the lot. Carmen motioned for you to go while Farah quietly steamed. It wasn't the first time those two had fought, but the arguments seemed to be getting nastier every time they happened. Best to get this over with so they could be separated and have the time to cool down.

You walked through the darkened lobby of the empty office building, your path illuminated only by the streetlights outside. There was something about darkness and artificial light that somehow made it feel more foreboding, more dangerous. Even though you were an adult there were still thoughts that ran about in your head of creatures that you couldn't see awaiting you in the dark, and those thoughts made you tense a bit. It was such an irrational fear, but one your brain wouldn't let go of. The argument between your friends had only put you more on edge as well.

The elevator doors slid open, the bright blinding lights hurting your eyes for a second before they adjusted to them, and you stepped in the car, pushing the button for the fifth floor.

Fifth floor, leave the offering, then down to third.

There were some bits of Cliff's creepy clown doll that were in front of the elevator when you reached the top floor. It vaguely occurred to you that the instructions said to leave immediately if the offering had been destroyed, but it seemed like Cliff had tried to clean up some. Though that made sense, since he didn't want to leave a mess behind after his shift.

You pushed away some of the leftover bits with your shoe, and carefully placed the bat plush laying on its back in front of the doors.

Down to the third floor, then.

You checked again to make sure that the bear keychain was still in your pocket during the ride down, stepping out when the doors opened after you confirmed that it was.

Now to make the call....

There hadn't been anything saying you needed to wait until the doors closed to begin, but you waited anyway. When the double doors slid shut behind you, you hit the button on your screen to call Farah, the last person on your call history.

It rang twice before the call was picked up. Just as Farah and Carmen had said, it was silent on the other side. You cleared your throat before saying the words that had been instructed.

“I want to visit the sixth floor. Please.”

There was nothing that said you needed to be polite, but you figured it couldn't hurt.

You still didn't hear anything from the other end, and that silence continued for several more seconds. You held the phone close to your ear, straining to hear anything, any sort of indication that someone was on the other line. The “demon” was supposed to hang up first, you remembered, so you were stuck until something happened.

“.... That's actually cute.”

The male voice you heard on the other end was unexpected, but you didn't get a chance to say anything back before the phone call ended.

You stood very still for a few moments.

That.... That hadn't been any of the others who were still outside. Unless they had gone so far as to hide someone out there and have them answer the phone when you called Farah and all of this was just an elaborate prank. But none of them were really the kind of people to do things like that.

Remembering the instructions from the site, you turned back to the elevator and got on when the doors opened, pushing the button for fifth floor once again.

If the demon likes your offering, there will be no trace of it when you get back up to the 5th floor

The ding of the elevator signaled that you were once again at the top floor of the building, and when the doors slid back open and you looked to the spot where you'd left the bat, you found.... Nothing.

That space you had cleared from the broken bits of that doll was empty, the white tiled floor shining in the light that came from the elevator.

….. If this was all just a prank by your friends, you weren't sure if you'd be able to trust them after this.

The doors closed once again, and you took a deep breath before you pushed the fifth floor button.

The elevator began to move up.

There wasn't a sixth floor; you'd double checked that the building only went as high as five.

You told yourself to wait until the doors opened before you jumped to conclusions. You'd need to see this “other world” before you could say for certain that all of this was real.

The website said that it could take up to two minutes, but mere seconds later did the doors slide back open.

Everything looked normal. Just another floor of an office building.

Or it would have looked normal, had it not been for the fact that everything was bathed in a red glow that came from the outside.

Clutching your phone in one hand and the keychain in the other, you took a small, tentative step out of the car, looking to either side of you.

The hallways were empty. Nothing jumped out at you.

Slowly, you walked over to a window.

In the distance stood a glowing red cross.

…. This was real.

This was actually real.

It was almost too much to process for your shock-addled brain, and you had to wonder if anyone else who had been successful had the same reaction as you, to just stare dumbly at the scene before you.

It then occurred to you to get proof for when you went back.

You pulled up the camera on your phone. Or you tried to at least. Of all the times for your phone to act up, it needed to be when you needed to get a picture so people would believe you. The app kept taking forever to pull up before it would close and you repeatedly tapped on the screen as you tried to make it work. Somehow you managed to snap a few pictures of the cross before the camera closed again and you weren't able to open it back up. The lighting and your uncooperative phone made the pictures appear quite blurry, but one would be able to tell what they were looking at. No doubt some people would claim that it was fake, but it was enough to satisfy you.

You checked the time, finding it to be 3:30, if the phone was to be trusted. You wished you had checked before you came up here, but it was a bit too late for that now.

You stepped away from the window and went down one of the halls, looking all around before you remembered that the site said that you shouldn't look behind you. Or was that only when you heard the demon? Regardless, you kept glances behind yourself to a minimum as you made your way through the floor.

Aside from the red light that covered everything, it looked like a normal office floor, filled with different offices and supply closets and nothing that was particularly interesting to you. The one strange thing was that the red cross outside seemed to move along with you, as when you would move to a different room you would still be able to see it clearly outside. You went back to the windows a few times and tried to see if there was anything else outside, but all you found was an endless darkness with no signs of any kind of life or structure. Unsurprisingly there was also no sign of your friends down below, though it would have been hard to see where they were standing outside anyway given the angle.

The red light made you slightly sick after a while, and you tried opening up the flashlight option on your phone. But it refused to turn on. In fact, nothing on your phone was working now, and when you looked at the clock, the time was still 3:30.

Either time was being distorted or your phone wasn't able to function properly. Given how your phone was acting earlier the latter would seem to be the most likely option, but you also weren't sure what the rules of this place were. There was nothing that said that this world was bound to time in the way yours was.

The website had said that you could stay up here for as long as you wanted, right?

You began to see things out of the corner of your eye, little bits of movement in the darkness that dared you to look at them. You did a few times, mentally slapping yourself as you remembered what the instructions had said as you were now desperately trying to remember everything that had been written so you knew what you could and couldn't do. It was amazing and terrifying at the same time as you recalled what the site had said about possibly dying to this game, and at one point you felt so overwhelmed that you thought you were going to throw up. You managed to keep it down, but after that you decided that it was time to leave.

When you started to head back to the elevator was when you felt a headache coming on. It was mild at first, but when you went further along your route to the exit it started to hurt more, turning into a stabbing pain that jammed into your skull.

Had the website mentioned this? You couldn't be sure. Where were you even going again?

You stopped at an open door, leaning against the open door frame to rest. There was movement from inside the room, and without thinking you looked over to it.

The bat you had left on the fifth floor sat in the room in front of a whiteboard. A whiteboard that had been absolutely covered in drawn on hearts and your name repeated over and over.

…. The website hadn't mentioned that.

“Do you think it's a good place for him?”

The voice you heard came from a few feet behind you. The same voice you had heard over the phone.

You needed to get out. Now.

You brushed your hand against your pocket as you tried to stand up straight again, still fighting the pain of the headache when you remembered the little bear keychain.

It will keep you from losing yourself

With that thought in mind you pulled it out and focused on it, and the pain seemed to lessen by a good amount.

“You've got a thing for cute stuff, don't you?”

The voice came from directly behind you this time, like whoever was speaking was staring down over your shoulder as they were practically on top of you.

Don't look don't look don't look

You pushed off of the door frame, the keychain still in hand as you power-walked back down the hall. The headache was still there a little bit but it was nowhere near as debilitating as it had been before.

The voice whined from behind you.

“You're leaving already? You just got here.”

Don't speak. Don't look.

It was following you. You could hear the footsteps that trailed after yours, keeping up with your pace and almost being purposefully loud. Sudden noises accompanied the footsteps, making you jump and urging you to turn around. It was a natural thing to react to sudden sounds like that and you needed to catch yourself a few times from looking behind.

It was trying to keep you here and you didn't want to stay to find out why that was.

You turned several corners and walked down many halls, and the elevator wasn't anywhere in sight. That wasn't right. You had made a mental note of where the location of the elevator approximately was. As much as the headache was still messing with you, you should still be able to make it back. You knew where it was, goddammit.

…. Was it just you, or were these hallways getting longer?

A chuckle came from behind you.

“You didn't think I'd let you go that easy, did you?”

You started to run.

You weren't sure how long you continued like that – time didn't seem to be a thing up here. Around you the halls extended, stretching out and prolonging your time in this hell as you turned corner after corner and you still couldn't find the fucking elevator. The temptation was there to look behind and see how long the halls had become, but the laughter that followed you kept your eyes straight ahead.

Turning another corner, the doors to the elevator came in sight, and you let out a gasp of relief as you ran faster. Just a little bit more and then you'd be free.

…. The elevator seemed to be was moving away from you, messing with you just as the halls had done before.

You could hear him breathing directly in your ear as you ran. Still trying to freak you out, still trying to make you turn around. He hadn't touched you at all, though, and you wondered if there were rules for him that prevented him from doing so.

The attempts to get you to look back at him seemed to be getting desperate. If this thing was getting to a point where even he was desperate, you didn't want to know what the hell he'd do to you if you made the mistake of turning around.

Despite it all the elevator was getting closer. Escape was literally in your grasp-

And then something in the floor shifted that caused your knee to buckle and you were sent flying face down on the flat white tile.

The phone and keychain went flying out of your hands and there was blood in your mouth as you bit your lip. Your head ached again, though you weren't sure if it was because of him or because you'd just landed on the solid floor.

You lay there for a few moments, catching your breath as you tried to compose yourself.

You then became aware of the presence that was standing over you. He was quiet now, but you could feel his eyes burning holes into your back, as if trying to will you to look at him.

Pushing yourself up on shaky arms, you began to crawl forward, your hands searching for the phone and keychain that had gone flying and had vanished into the darkness, the light from outside now much duller than it had been when you'd first arrived.

Don't look don't look don't look

He can't touch you

He can't force you to look back at him

Just keep facing forward and-

A horrifically loud shrieking noise sounded through the hall. It was the loudest thing you had ever heard in your life, the noise so great that you felt the floor vibrating, and your hands immediately went to cover your ears to protect your hearing as best you could.

Don't you dare fucking look back

With your hands still over your ears, you crawled forward on your knees. It was slow and it had gotten so dark that you couldn't see the elevator anymore, but it was still progress. When your knee brushed against your phone you ignored it. Who gave a fuck about proof anymore? You just wanted to get out.

But you were still trying to keep a lookout for the keychain. It had helped before; if you could find it, it would probably make getting out easier.

You put out one hand on the floor as you blindly searched for your sentimental item, your eyes scrunching up in pain as the horrible sound continued.

For a split second your fingers brushed up against something soft.

You grabbed it.

Immediately after the shrieking noise stopped.

For just a moment, there was relief, even though you still had that noise ringing in your ears. But it took only another moment for you to realize that something was wrong.

You hadn't grabbed that bear keychain. It was larger and heavier.

Opening your eyes, you found that you were holding that fucking bat plush.

“Ah. You messed up.”

A hand reached from behind you and grabbed the plush out of your grip. A different hand was placed on your shoulder and you were spun around on the floor.

A fair-skinned man with what looked to be blonde hair stared down at you, one hand still on your shoulder as he waved the bat in front of you.

“You're not supposed to take this back, remember?” he asked as he smiled at you.

“No.... I didn't...” you trailed off.

“But you did, though! You grabbed and picked it up,” he said.

That wasn't possible. You had left that thing behind in that room that felt so far away now. But as you glanced to the side you saw that, to your horror, you were sitting next to that room again, the hearts still visible on the whiteboard. You were barely able to note that it had gotten brighter and that somehow the red lighting seemed less harsh before he was talking to you again.

“So you lost and now you don't get to go back,” he told you.

“No.... You cheated.”

It felt so juvenile to say that out loud, but it was all that could come out of you in your current state.

Strangely though, he didn't deny it.

“Can you blame me?” he asked, “I've never gotten a visitor as charming as yourself. When I heard you on the phone and saw what you left me, I just needed to keep you.”

He looked at the bat plush again and smiled at it as he sat down in front of you.

“Did you just pick this at random, or was it something else?”

You struggled to comprehend the question, and it took you a bit before you were able to blurt out “someone else said you liked bats.”

“So you mean you went to the trouble of looking up what things I liked? That's adorable. I love it!” he exclaimed.

You tried to subtly scoot away from him as he sat in front of you but you were noticed instantly.

“Where do you think you're going?” he asked. The look he gave you was so innocent.

“I-I need to go home. I want to go home,” you insisted.

“That's not an option, remember?” he asked, waving the bat around again.

You shook your head.

“You cheated. I should be allowed to leave because you did that.”

He laughed.

“There's no rule against cheating. As long as I didn't touch you it was fine. Don't be a sore loser.”

“Fuck you.”

You spat out those words in a bout of frustration, trying your best to sound strong, but it probably just made you seem more pathetic.

He only hummed at that, just staring at you for a moment.

It had been getting steadily brighter, the red going away with every passing second and you were able to make out different colors. The purple and teal on his clothes, the shade of blonde his hair was and the blue of his eyes were visible to you for a few moments.

He set the bat plush to the side, and the world began to darken again as red and black took over.

“That's okay,” he said, more to himself than to you, “you're scared and that kind of reaction is normal, so I'm not too mad.”

It was getting harder to see him, but you could see movement about him, things about his body changing. Horns that slowly curled out from his forehead. The tips of his fingers that darkened around long claws that took the place of his fingernails. Large, bat-like wings that unfolded from behind him and spread themselves.

You caught a glimpse of his teeth in the low light, and they looked sharper than they had before.

Panic shot through you as you began to scramble away from him, but your escape attempt was short-lived as something wrapped itself around your legs and pulled you back towards him.

A tail? Oh God that was a tail.

He was on top of you, and he caged you in his arms as he leaned down to whisper in your ear “don't worry, I'll go easy on you this time.”

You tried to push him away, but he ignored it.

“Oh! Before I forget, I should introduce myself shouldn't I? I'm Shalnark. Nice to meet you.”

With that, his lips claimed yours in a searing kiss.

Your friends had been waiting a while.

Farah and Carmen stayed where they had been directly next to the building while Cliff hadn't moved from where he had stormed off to. Farah had been getting upset as she had become convinced that you were being an ass to her as well with how long you were taking. It was all Carmen could do to try and keep her calm.

Because of his distance away and how distracted they were, neither of them noticed the state Cliff was in.

They only noticed when he began to violently cough.

With Farah still slightly bitter from their earlier argument, Carmen was the one to check on him, asking if he was alright as they walked up to him.

Cliff gave no answer as he had begun to cough up blood.

Carmen's hands fumbled when they pulled out their phone to call emergency services, and they yelled at Farah to go inside and get you. The sight of the blood Cliff was coughing up had Farah sprinting towards the building, throwing the front doors open as she made a beeline for the elevator.

Carmen didn't notice it at first when Farah fell to the floor. Only when the ambulance had been confirmed and they looked back to the building to see if the two of you were coming out did they see her body lying limply on the floor.

Ambulances and cop cars arrived eventually, and both Cliff and Farah were declared dead at the scene. The autopsy reports later would declare that they had been poisoned. A thorough search of the building would find no source of where the poison had come from.

Nor did they find anything from you.

Carmen had told them that you were in there, but when they searched they found no trace of you. No personal belongings and nothing to even indicate that you had entered the building. When the search for you grew beyond the confines of the office building, there was still no trace of you. You simply vanished into thin air.

The case would puzzle investigators before they would ultimately put it aside for other cases that needed their attention. It would only gain some traction online when the files were released to the public and certain parties saw that you and your friends had been playing the Sixth Floor Game. For some people it added weight to their beliefs that the game was real and needed to be avoided. For others it was just a coincidence.

Regardless of what they thought, you remained a missing person that would never be seen again, forever immortalized by your unexplained disappearance and an urban legend.

[filthforfriends]

On the Kitchen Table

From that Thomas prompt you saw yesterday

ITS DONE BITCHES

Thomas x reader

Word count: 5279

Prompt: "can u imagine the reader and thomas “hating” each other (mainly cause of them wanting to deny the sexual tension and being attracted to one another) so they’re constantly trying to rile each other up until they get into a huge argument over idfk led zeppelin over some other band but it gets really heated and he kisses her"

TW: sex, swearing, angst, conflict

@mywritingonlyfans @damianof @starlettescarlet @cheese-toastie-11 @thomasraggilovebot @mariedeangelis @bjjkko

I doubt that Thomas’s knew how poorly this reflected on your fucking career. No one had an issue with you, absolutely no one, except him. Thomas who wasn’t just Thomas, but was an extremely valuable artist. Famous, profitable, marketable, and actually talented. A rockstar who gave a fuck. He  had the kind of aesthetic you could sell, make a line of clothing from, and have him be the face for. He had an identity on social media which was beloved and totally devoid of controversy, making him a valuable influencer. And it was all genuine. Thomas was ¼ of a band that could push out two platinum albums and two tours in a year, Lauded, beloved, capable, and bullet proof. You had to mitigate all the companies that wanted his signature on a contract, all while lovely little Thomas made your life immeasurably difficult.

“I literally didn’t order this. This is not even remotely what I ordered.” He threw the plastic fork at the container, tipping it over, spilling the contents on the studio floor. Thomas signed like that was your fault too, but at least had the decency to turn back and start picking up the chunks of roasted vegetables. Leo was a good boss, and you had come into this knowing that you'd be doing the grunt work he had a few years ago. So you ran to grab some stain remover for the sake of the studio carpet.

“Back in one sec!”

“Oh yeah, don’t bother helping or anything!” He jeered, just as you ran back into the room with a tub of cleaning supplies you kept in the cabinet right next to the studio entrance. Leo had complained of red wine mishaps during late night writing sessions, so you had been proactive.

“Sorry” you responded automatically, reverting into your customer service voice. You wished you could tell him to fuck off, especially when he rolled his eyes at your apology. “I was getting cleaning supplies so the sauce doesn’t stain the carpet.” You fumbled to put the pieces of yam and squash back in the takeout container so you could just go throw the whole mess in the trash. Your hands kept bumping into Thomas’s as he did the same. It was awkward but you still enjoyed the skin to skin contact way too much, but that was only because you were touched starved.

“Hey, stop, I'll do it. It's my fault I’ll do it!” He said, growing angry as he helped grab chucks of eggplant off the floor. You noticed the thick gold ring on his right hand catching the light. The ring that pulled focus semi-permanently enough to make you think about his fingers in the shower.

“Its okay, this is my job,” you retorted, glaring at his handsome features while he scowled back at you. You tried not to notice the heat from his body or how proximity pulled you. “I’ll clean it, just let me do it.”

“Cleaning is not in your job description , y/n.” Thomas was the only person whose mood was soured by not having to do house work.

“I think I know my role here Thomas, so if you’ll just let me-”

“Stop! Just Stop! Let me do it for fucks sake,” he snapped, raising his voice. You had to focus all your energy on keeping the tears from your eyes. Thomas had truly yelled at you, six inches from your face. The room was quiet in a way that made you realize the other band members had been chattering before. Because this dynamic between her and Thomas was just the norm.

Being yelled at by men was your weak spot, ever since your father did it when you would make the tiniest mistake as a child. It didn’t matter the content, the volume triggered some trauma response. You would have to get over it if you were to work with celebrities, but right now you aren't. Right now you were crying in front of a band you were supposed to personally assist. In celebrity management, you had to take the high road, every single time, without fail, until your toes were all blisters. You felt blistered in this moment, with your head ducked to hide that Thomas had hit a nerve, because that was unprofessional. What was also unprofessional was your inability to speak as you left the room.

Thomas being a brat was old news, he liked to challenge you on small things. He’d hold your gaze like he wanted to eat you alive and despite your best efforts to the contrary, you wanted to slap him lightly then kiss him hard. You’d remind yourself that being attracted to Thomas actually made you normal, not the exception. He was an Italian sex symbol and obvously wouldn’t have become so popular if he didn’t have mass appeal. You were simply recognizing his mass appeal. At least that's what you told yourself. However, there was a moment between his petty provocation and your emotional reaction. In that moment the air was so charged you thought he might electrocute you or find the nearest horizontal service, put three fingers inside you, and make you beg for his cock.

This heavy sexual tension had never been squashed by Thomas’s behavior, because it was never severe enough.Always the push of his pettiness and the pull of your chemistry. But shouting didn’t feel like a game, this felt like a knife to the gut. Your mental space had gone from unsustainable to unstable. You couldn’t feel this way, no job was worth your mental health. So you steeled yourself to finish the day with grace, then you’d talk to Leo.

A knock on the front door startled you, and you realized that Damiano’s and Ethan’s lunch orders had arrived. So that will be the first thing you do now that you’ve decided it's your last day: feed the band. You bring in Dami’s and Ethans food and decide to play the perfect part.

“Here you go guys,” you say brightly. “Victoria let me look at the delivery tracking, and yes it's almost here!” The feeling in the air is heavy, and you feel vindicated that the others had called out Thomas for being an asshole. “Okay so Thomas would you like to order something else for lunch?” You stayed cheerful as you stooped to pick up the old container of his rejected lunch. You spray down the carpet with stain remover, acting as though nothing had happened. If emotional compartmentalization was a sport you’d be an Olmpian. “All right, so I’ll finish cleaning that when you’re out of the studio. Thomas can I get you anything else?”

“No, thanks y/n” he replied. You’d expected him to mumble it, slumped over and avoiding eye contact. Instead he met your eyes and was so somber and apologetic that you wanted to throw out every bad memory and climb onto his lap to tell him everything was all right. You don’t realize how dark a room is until the light is turned on. It was the same thing for our eye contact. You didn’t realize how much Thomas had been avoiding sustained eye contact until this moment when he held your gaze like he was holding your hand.

“Okay, good luck writing.” When you closed the heavy studio door, you pledged to yourself that you would not waver from this position.Undoubtedly, you and Thomas had the chemistry to be lovers in another life. However, the fact that you were so physically close in this one and he couldn’t bring himself to be welcoming was all the more reason to leave.

You pulled your suitcase out from the bottom of the closet and put it on your bed. It felt impossibly heavy and the thought of packing it was exhausting. It was as if all your energy had been drained and you were simply a shell of yourself, staring into the gaping mouth of your suitcase. You decided to text Leo that you needed to talk to him later and busy yourself with some ornate dinner.

Packing after dinner felt more manageable, but it still made you sorrowful. Being a nomad was hard, and you loved this place. You didn’t want to fail your employer or your client and this was both. It was so suboptimal you wanted to just bite the bullet and stay anyway, just ride it out. But oh, mental health is such a fickle thing and you couldn’t put yours at risk.

“Hey, Leo. Sorry to call on short notice.” It was nice to talk to a person with whom I have much fewer pretences.

“Hello, y/n it sounds like you’ve had an awesome day,” Leo answered sarcastically.

“Is it that obvious in my voice?”

“Well, that, and I heard from the band.” You cursed yourself. All you needed was a shitty report from a shitty band member for your file. Not only did it piss you off that the band had gone over your head to complain to you about Leo, but it made you nervous.

“I suppose that if I get fired I was wanting to leave anyway.”

“Oh no, they don’t want to fire you! They were worried they’d offended you.”  Then why did they say absolutely nothing about it during dinner?

“I wouldn’t know, no one has spoken to me.” Lovely, they’ve expressed regret to Leo, but not me. Maybe none of them like me and Thomas is the only one to show it. Maybe they want Leo back.

“Sometimes they speak without speaking, you know? You have to pay attention. There is a reason that they are musicians.“

“I do all my duties, I don’t know how I could pay them more attention.”

“You should ask them.”

“Look Leo, I don’t want to disappoint you but I’m done. I’m packing, I need to leave. I will buy my own plane ticket if I have to. I know how it's going to look professionally, but I don’t care, living here is excruciating. I know I’ll have to deal with difficult clients and I can do that. I can do mood swings and perfectionism and arrogance, but I can’t deal with someone repeatedly targeting their negative energy at me specifically. I shouldn’t have to.”

“You’re right y/n, you shouldn’t have to. I guess Thomas was right when he said he took it too far this time.”

“Thomas, talked to you? He talked to you about me?” You could hear Leo cursing himself on the other end of the line, realizing he said something he shouldn’t have.

“Look I’ve been a mentor for Thomas since he was 16, we’ve been friends a long time. He’s a really sweet kid, but he’s not very emotionally articulate.” Sweet kid. Where is this sweet, sensitive kid, talking to Leo because he’s worried he’s hurt my feelings?

“Leo I really don’t know what to say other than we know very different Thomas’s. I genuinely don’t know the person you’re describing. Like I’m not trying to insult his character, I’ve just never met the person you’re talking about.”

“Well I guess that Thomas has made an ass of himself as much as he described, in which case you have every right to leave.”

“What about my resume? I have a bunch of crappy reports, then it says I didn’t fulfill my contract. No one is going to hire me!”

“Y/n…” Leo began slowly, “Maneskin has never given you a report that didn’t sing your praises. If it weren’t for the Thomas of it all, they’d want to keep you on for the tour.”

“What the fuck?” you thought, clapping your hand over your mouth when you realized you’d said it out loud to your boss. “Sorry, but I can’t believe I’m not touring Europe because Thomas doesn’t like me.” Truly, what could you have done to this man?

“No, no, it's the other way around. They didn’t ask you to go on tour because Thomas thinks you don’t like him, and doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Well yeah I don’t like him, obviously. Or do I? Why could I like him after everything?

“Leo this is the most convoluted bullshit I’ve ever been part of.” At least I can hear my boss snorting with laughter.

“Yes, okay, its something to think on. In the meantime, I will book you a flight for the day after tomorrow. If you don’t want it, you can change the ticket. And no, this will not leave your career in shambles so chill out and drink a glass of wine. Okay? You worry too much.”

You’re in the kitchen, following boss’s orders, pouring yourself a glass of red wine. You’re sitting on the kitchen counter, deciding if it's drinkable, when Thomas comes in.

“That's not the best,” he says, gesturing to the wine. He’s meeting your eyes again, nothing malicious or cruel. Thomas opens the fridge and while fumbling for something on the shelf, knocks a tube of garlic paste onto the floor. He makes a precious “oops” sound then meticulously places it where he knocked it from. Were malicious and cruel even accurate words to describe his behavior? Petulant, aggravated, sure, but he never chose anything with weight to make an issue of.

“You know it's really not,” you agreed. “It tastes like disappointment and a headache.” You both smiled easily, Thomas with his face lit from the open fridge. There was something very different about his energy and disposition right now. This was the first time you and Thomas had been alone together.

“It’s what Victoria and Nica left, when they went out.” You made a disgusted sound. “So you really shouldn’t subject yourself to drinking it.”

“Ugh, Chist.” You emptied your glass into the sink, rinsing it a couple times before filling it with water. “No wine for y/n, then.”

“Well you should try this,” Thomas suggested, closing the fridge with a bottle in hand.

“If anyone finds out you keep red wine in the fridge they’re gonna revoke your citizenship” You teased, but regretted immediately because Thomas would take that as bait for conflict and you were so enjoying this gentle peace.

“I couldn’t agree more, but this is a Lumbresco so…” Lumbresco was your favorite, you moved to hop off the counter and look at the label, but Thomas brought the bottle to you instead. It was a Labrusca Rose.

“Thomas what the hell are you doing with a 20 dollar Pink Lumbresco?” you asked, delighted.

“You mentioned that it was your favorite so I thought I should try it.” The look on your face sent him stumbling over his explanation. “When I meet a new person and they tell me their favorite wine I try it and there’s no use trying something if you don’t give it a fair shot. How would I know I liked it if it was a shitty bottle? Buying a crappy bottle would be counterproductive, like I- “ You stopped his rambling with another question.

“But Thomas, why haven’t you opened it yet?” You could actually see Thomas’s walls go up, see his darkness snuff the light of his tenderness out. “Oh, duh! Because its sparkling, it's not like you were going to drink the whole bottle in one go.The only way not to waste it is to share it.” Thomas relaxed back. That was the difference in his disposition, he was unguarded.

“Precisely,” he said, as if everything had been in his control the whole time. “Now for the corkscrew…” He opened the drawer right next to your thigh. This was the closest you’d been, standing almost cheek to cheek, but facing opposite directions. You were alone in the kitchen. When his hand accidentally brushed the top of your thigh, he yanked his it away and stopped breathing. So maybe Thomas felt the same way you did. Maybe that's why he avoided being alone in rooms with you. You have to test that theory now. If you were leaving in two days, you could afford to be bold.

“Thomas” you murmured, and waited for him to turn his eyes from the drawer’s contents to your face. He did so sparingly, which only spurred you on. “You smell really good.” He froze, opening and closing his mouth a couple times like a fish out of water.

“Ugh, I’m not wearing any cologne, I don’t think.” He said, looking down at himself.

“I don’t think it's cologne, you just smell so good.” At this point you observed his reaction. He was shocked, but not pulling away. In fact, Thomas was infinitesimally closer to you. You had to wait a couple beats for his brain to resume functioning, but when it did, he smirked proudly, and you knew he was on the same page. He reaches a hand toward your face, but then you hear a door slam somewhere in the back of the house. You sprang off the counter and took a couple steps back.

Suddenly you’re aware of the entryways to the kitchen, of the windows above the sink. Suddenly the prospect that someone saw made you panic, because maybe you didn’t want to throw it all away. Maybe, if Thomas could find a balance, you didn’t want to throw it all away by fucking your client and leaving in two days.

“Relax, everyone’s out except Ethan, he's just going out to the pool to smoke.”

“He could have seen Thomas. That would be incredibly unprofessional, he’s my client!”

“I get that, will you calm down, it was just the door to the porch.” You loathe being told to calm down.

“It could have been the front door or some other door!”

“But it wasn’t.” Thomas’s arrogance was showing.

“And how do you know that Thomas, how do you know?”

“Because I know what the door sounds like and I made sure it was just Ethan here!”

“But how can you be sure that's what the door to the pool sounds like for sure? That's not possible.” Great, they were arguing about sounds the doors make. Then, you processed the second part of what Thomas had said. “Wait, why did you make sure that no one was here? Were you that confident that we were going to have sex? Oh my god, did you tell them all to leave so we could have sex?!”

“No, they were already going to go out so I could apologize! I just like you, okay?” Thomas matched your hysterics.

“Then apologize! Or is there someone else you need to discuss it with before you discuss it with me?” You were bitter, you had a right to be.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for everything and for this afternoon and fucking all of it! Are you happy now? Is that the apology you wanted?”

“I don’t ask you for anything and you know that,” you said, quiet but powerful.

“Yeah I know that,” Thomas replied spitefully. The way he said it, you wondered if he wanted you to need something from him, so he would give it to you. It wasn’t your job to guess that people had good intentions.

“You don’t consider anything. You don’t know what it is to have my career, to do my job. Okay? Because then you would know-” you point a finger in the direction of the pool, but Thomas interrupts you.

“How can you say that I don’t know anything about you, huh? You’re afraid of how society’s opinion might affect your career? Try getting followed by cameras! Because I’m in a band, instead of an office? There's-”

“Yes, because you’re in a band! The relationships are totally different, saying otherwise would be simplistic.You have more freedom, but for me there are regulations and rules for how I conduct myself!” You were finally able to finish your thought, while Thomas studied you.

“You follow the rules because you’re supposed to, yes? And that makes you happy y/n?” You nod and Thomas walks around the table as he speaks.

“Yes they do! Because I have a career!” you insist.

“So do I.” Thomas said, but he continued talking before you could beat him to the punch. “But that is because we are different people, right? For you to be successful and happy you need rules.” He comes to stand directly in front of you and lifts his finger accusingly. “You call me simplistic. You should try to feel something outside of the little cage you’ve built around yourself.”

“Fuck you!” you growl at him.

“Finally, something,” he says, as if you’d had a breakthrough.

“Fine, then what's your great expanse of emotional experience, Thomas?” You put your hands on his chest and shove him towards the table, where he has to catch himself on one of the chairs. “Playing FIFA and fucking girls with the lights off? Waking up at 1pm? Sounds riveting! Maybe I should try that, maybe-” But Thomas is kissing you. He pulls away for a second to give you a choice, but you grab him by both lapels and bring his body against your own. There's no tepidness, this has been between you for weeks.

Thomas reaches down to thighs and tells you to jump. You spring off the ground at the same time that he hauls you up his body. You love being able to coil your legs around his hips and establishing a vice grip so Thomas doesn’t need to support you. He does anyway, moving his hands up to the soft place where cheek meets thigh. At a slightly different angle he’s be fingering you. You’re both too hot this close, and its making you sweat wonderfully. The fight and arousal have made both your faces flushed, lips plush and pink. The transition to using tongue wasn’t awkward, as the verbal foreplay had rendered both supple.

You arched your back, trying to get closer and tugging at his hair for future reference. Trying to figure out what is too much and not enough, finding that Thomas’s pleasure has more to do with the amount of sensation rather than severity. He makes these little grunts and breathes out hard when something feels good. You grab as big a section as possible at the back of his head and pull, arching your back to get closer. You lick his adam's apple and the hollow at the base of his neck, sweat pooling. His hands knead your soft upper thighs in pleasure.

Thomas then hicks you up higher, so your legs are around his waist. He kisses a line up your neck, then sucks a hickey, hard. He runs your earlobe between his teeth. It's gentler to test the waters, but you don’t like gentleness, you like pain and pleasure in a 1:1 ratio.

“Hard, you can do it hard.” It's the most coherent thing you can say. Right now the primal desire to fuck Thomas was underminning all frontal lobe information.

“Top off.” He held you up, flush against his body so you could use your hands without falling. You unceremoniously yanked your shirt off. Thomas leaned down, getting the muscle that ran along the top of your shoulder between his teeth. He bit down so hard that you felt the muscle spasm in his mouth with glorious white hot agony. You let out an embarrassing screeching moan that surely anyone in the house could hear, but Thomas didn’t put a hand over your mouth. Instead he put his lips by your ear and purred your praises.

“Mhm I thought you’d be a little freak. Already doing such a good job.” Thomas didn’t pull away, he stuck his tongue in your ear. No one had done that before and you figured it’d feel strange, but it was amazing. The wet, hot muscle of Thomas’s tongue was felt acutely by the highly sensitive receptors in your ear canal. He had to grip you tight as you shivered. Getting Thomas’s shirt off in this particular position was difficult, but you could unbutton it. The burnt orange fabric parted to reveal the skin below.

When Thomas pulled you flush against him again, you felt suddenly self conscious. You were so turned on by him that your tights had soaked through, and you were wearing a skirt with no panties. This meant that your wet crotch was pressed against the skin above his belly button. You were totally vulnerable to him. Thomas moved so that your back was pressed against the wall instead of his. This allowed the wall to hold some of your weight, but also for Thomas to press further against you. Thomas hiked up your skirt and leaned into your groin, so your wet cunt was pressed against him as much as possible. This meant that your legs were splaying almost totally open against his waist. Being up in the air like this made you feel small, taken care of, but also at the mercy of your partner.

Thomas must be getting tired by now, but instead he shrugged off his button up and unclasped your bra. When he went straight for your nipples you understood why he wanted you in this position. All splayed out, Thomas could literally feel himself making you wet. Thomas went through the normal, vanilla licking and sucking. When that didn’t elicit a reaction from you, he used his teeth. Just seeing him drag his front tooth against your nipple made you dig your nails into his back. When he did it with force, you almost came, and he felt that when you spasmed, and where your cunt was pressed against his abdomen. You’d lost track of when you’d started making noises, but you needed more. You needed more pressure, more stimulation, and this state of being completely aroused was painful.

When he did put your feet on the ground, your were both so desperate to fuck that when Thomas asked you to lean over the table, you said yes. Before turning around, you undid Thomas’s belt and pants. He watched you, the visual of seeing your hands on his groin an immense turn on. He stepped out of his jeans, then froze.

“Condoms, damn it!” Thomas looked crestfallen in a way you found flattering.

“I’m on birth control, are you clean?”

“Yeah I just got a panel done.”

“So let's do it without. It's better anyway and I want to feel you.” The look of wonder at the proposition of safe, unprotected sex on a mans face never gets old. It's like Disnaeyland but more so.

“Fuck thats so hot.” He rushed forward to kiss you and the urgency was back. You pulled off his underwear and got a brief look at his cock as you turned around. It was long, veiny, and circumcised, even pretty. You pulled up your skirt and Thomas tried to peel back your tights for about 2 seconds before he ripped them apart at the seams, growling. You let out a sound of indignation.

“I’ll get you new ones.” Thomas grunted. You felt the tip of his dick against your hymen for a moment, before he pulled away. Thoomas’s knees hit the ground and his mouth was on your opening. He went in tongue first and sucked, as you squealed. The first finger was easy, but the second wasn’t, which was why he was adding more foreplay to begin with. He was too big, you realized. As Thomas worked on a second finger, he murmured words of encouragement.

“Sweetheart you gotta relax. Relax for me baby, it’ll feel good. You’re safe, relax your body for me baby.” You focused on relaxing your pelvis, breathing deeply. It had been months since your last fuck, but you didn’t figure you’d end up this tight. “There you go baby, you’re doing such a good job. You’re relaxing so good for me, opening up so good.” Once the second finger was in the third came easily and Thomas was back on his feet.

“Do you want me to-” you said, gesturing at his cock.

“No, no, it's fine. You feel ready?” You nodded. “Still okay with doing this here?”

“Yeah, yeah, it's fine” you answered, feeling a little embarrassed. But then you felt the head of Thomas’s cock again, this time pressing in. You took a deep breath, and Thomas sank into the hilt. It knocked the air out of you, so you surged towards the table and he caught you.

“Still good?” You nodded adamantly. The sensation was a surprise but it was also fucking wonderful. The deep ache, combined with Thomas’s stimulating nerves that hadn’t been stimulated in months, was a new favorite. You calmed your body for a moment and hummed with pleasure. In response, Thomas did the unexpected. He kissed the nape of your neck like a lover.

You realized Thomas knew what he was doing when he started by searching for the right angle, instead of viciously thrusting. Soft, yearning moans came from the back of his throat while he kept a reasonable pace. You could feel in the way that Thomas’s body was coiled, that he was holding back until the right moment. You rolled your hips back against his thrusts to coax more vigor from his movements. Thomas moved one hand from the table, onto the hinge of your hip to control your movements. You whined in the back of your throat when he used that hand to bring your body back against him, down his cock.

That’s when he found your g-spot and you wailed, feeling your toes curl against the tile of the kitchen floor. Thomas must have spent at least the next five minutes fucking you hard and deep, with you pressed against and onto the surface of the table. The enamel of the table was cold on your nipple’s and Thomas’s unrelenting pace brought the catharsis of being fucked thoroughly. At some point you’d moved the table half a foot across the room and your feet weren't even touching the ground. Thomas pulled you up off the table like a ragdoll and rested his chin on you shoulder.

“You think you can come, sweetheart? For me?” You couldn’t managewords, but a nod of the head was enough for Thomas to take full advantage of his new viewpoint. The hand grasping your hip moved between your legs. He was looking down, finding the clitorous. Soon he was applying such direct pleasure that you were gasping.

“Too much!” His breath was hitting your shoulder rapidly. You could feel Thomas’s hair, damp with sweat, ticking your neck. The light ministrations on your clit and angle of his cock were so perfect that all Thomas had to do was bite down again, and you fell onto the table in orgasam. You don’t remember exactly when Thomas came, but it seemed that he’d been waiting for you first. He collapsed half way on top of you, both of you with ragged breathing. Thomas moved to sweetly kiss the back of your neck again, a chaste kiss. You opened your eyes to watch him and found yourself being watched, tenderly and with care. You said the first thing that came to mid, in order to fill the silence.

“Thank you.” Thomas chuckled, head resting on his folded forearms.

“Happy to be of service y/n.”

“But I should check with Leo to make sure this is part of my job description. I wouldn’t want any permanent write-ups in my file.” In response, Thomas laughed so hard he fell onto the kitchen floor.

“Careful where you lay your face down”

“Ew!”

Notes: this work is inspired by a prompt anonymously submitted to another blog who invited other writers to use it. I’m not sure of the proper format for that. Also I wrote the entire sex scene high af lol This as far from proofread as I'm willing to post so sorry for all the mistakes.

Masterlist

[tommymykink]

Who's Boss? (One shot)

Summary : Thomas Shelby, your boss is angry with you for not submitting your work on time. He threatens to fire you when you plead you'd do anything to keep this job. Smut ensues.

Words : 1855

Warning : mature content, extreme sexual act, smut, domination

Pairing : Tommy X Reader (M/F)

[Note : No plot actually. No beating around the bush. Straight to business ;) ]

Enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------

“What’s the matter? And no excuses please”, Tommy said, with his brows furrowed. His thick Birmingham accent increasing the authority in his voice, which you found both terrifying and sensual.

“I’m sorry sir! I won’t repeat this mistake. I was out of town for some days as you already know and you rescheduled the date so suddenly that I didn’t get time to finish the work”, you said, looking down at the ground, your hands crossed behind you.

“So now you’re blaming it on me eh?”, Tommy asked, annoyance in his voice.

“No sir I didn’t mean to…..”

Your boss slammed his hand on the table with a loud thud which made you flinch.

“You have the audacity to blame your boss for your late work? You want me to fire you Miss (Y/N)?”

“No sir please!”, you pleaded, almost tearing up.

“Please sir I need this job. I’d do anything you say to keep this job please.”

“Anything I say”, Tommy asked, a naughty glimmer in his eyes.

You swallowed a gulp. “Ye…..yes sir. Anything you say”.

“Okay then, take off your shirt”, Tommy said, leaning back on his chair.

“Si…sir?” You choked on your breath.

“Anything I say?”, he reminded you, squinting his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, you slowly open your shirt buttons. You fumbled with it a bit, but managed to open it and dropped it on the floor.

“That too”, he pointed at your skirt.

You opened the zipper of your skirt and slid it down your legs. There you were, standing half naked in front of your boss. Your cheeks were flushing red and you instinctively tried to hide your body as much as you can with your hands.

Tommy took his time to look at you from head to toe, as if mapping all the places he would like to touch.

“Fold your clothes and give it to me”, he spoke finally, letting out a deep breath. You timidly picked up your clothes from the floor, folded them and handed it over to him. You could understand the changing rhythm of his breathing. Seeing you in that black lingerie was doing things to him which he couldn’t hide.

It’s not that you’ve never fantasized him bending you over his desk and owning you completely. But those were just fantasies. You never expected them to be real because so far he has only maintained a strict professional relationship with you.

“Bend over my desk”.

You were snapped out of your thoughts by his deep voice.

“Did he just read my mind?!”, you spoke out loud then immediately covered your mouth with your hands realising the words you’ve just let out.

Too bad, he heard you.

“You have always imagined this haven’t you eh, you dirty little girl?”, he said with a smirk, watching you make your way to his table and bend over it.

He kept your folded clothes inside his drawer and locked it. “You’ll get them only when I’m satisfied with you”, he growled. He then stood up from his chair and walked round the table. He positioned him behind you. Time seemed to have stopped as you were anticipating his touch on your soft skin, knowing full well it’s not going to be gentle.

You left out a gasp when you felt his warm hands massaging your butt cheeks. He slowly slid your panties down to your ankle and let out a sigh.

“What a sight!”, he exclaimed, groping and fondling your soft bottom cheeks. You could feel your arousal in between your legs and you closed your eyes when you suddenly felt a hard slap on your left cheek. You let out a soft whimper.

“You like that eh? You dirty little slut”, he slapped your right cheek even harder making your skin vibrate under his palm.

“Will you ever submit your works late again?”

“No…..no sir”, you managed to mouth between whimpers.

“And will you ever blame your boss for your late work again, eh?”

“No sir”. You let out a loud moan as you felt the hardest hit on your skin.

Tommy’s spanks got harder and harder and by that time your loud moans echoed in the room, in perfect sync with his rough slaps.

He leaned over your back.

“You tend to forget who’s boss here eh? Let me remind you”, he whispered in your ear followed by the rhythmic rubbing of his hard bulge against your wet mound. It made you shiver and you let out a sensual moan, biting your lips.

“Get up, put your panties back on and go sit on the chair”, he commanded, his eyes darkened with lust.

You nodded and obeyed his orders, your cheeks flushing red.

Taking off his tie, he blindfolded you tightly with it.

“Arms on your lap”.

You heard him open his drawer and take something out, the jiggle sounded like handcuffs. Your whole body shuddered at the cold touch of the handcuffs on your wrists. You bit your lips, deep in thought. You wanted to see how far he can go.

You heard him open another drawer. He pulled the hem of your underwear and put the object inside your panties. You let out a soft moan feeling the touch of the cold object on your dripping cunt. It was when he activated the vibration of the object with a remote, you realised what it was.

Tommy kept on increasing the vibration slowly until it was uncontrollable for you and you started trembling in the chair, letting out loud moans. You threw your head back, trying to free your hands, the handcuffs bruising your soft flesh. You felt so light headed, being taken to a different world of pleasure that you didn’t hear Tommy open his zipper and take off his pants.

Taking advantage of your open mouth, he hastily grabbed your neck and pulled you down to his hard cock, gagging you, while he sat on the table in front of you. You frantically gasped for air when the tip of his hard member hit the back of your throat.

Tommy kept bobbing your head up and down violently, letting out loud moans and shuddering as your tongue played with his thick shaft.

While you gagged on his member, the vibrator kept stimulating your wet folds, the sensation making you wobbly in your legs.

You felt his cock throb and twitch inside you. With a loud growl he filled your mouth with his warm come, you swallowed every bit of it.

Tommy pulled himself out of your mouth. Pushing your chair back, he knelt on his knees and opened your panties in a quick motion. He pulled you by your hips and without warning crashed his lips onto your wet pussy which made your whole body tremble. You were already aroused beyond limit and now you started feeling dizzy, your finish line being very near.

Tommy played with your folds with such expertise, swirling, licking and sucking the right places, it gave you sensations that you never knew existed. No man ever made you feel this way. You felt like you were floating, your head resting on the chair, your loud cries creating an ethereal atmosphere. It felt otherworldly. Even Tommy enjoyed making you tremble with his touch, being very much aware of the effect he had on you.

Tommy swirled circles on your clit with his tongue and massaged your folds with his thumb. He slid one finger inside your pussy first and eventually slid a second one, pumping in and out. You couldn’t hold it anymore.

Tommy felt your walls clench around his digits. “Yes baby girl come all over my hand”, he hissed.

You exploded with pleasure as your orgasm washed over you, covering his fingers with your sweet juices.

“I’m not done with you yet”. He licked off your fluid from his fingers. Then he trailed a long lick from your belly button up to your breast fold. With a quick motion he unhooked your bra and sent it flying across the room.

He cupped your breasts with his hands, roughly fondling it. Then he swirled his tongue over one of your buds, as hard as a pebble, while he played with the other using his thumb. You let out soft whimpers, the touch of his warm tongue on your skin made electric currents run through your body. You could feel the pressure between your legs build up again.

“Stand up”, he grumbled in his deep voice.

You complied, with your eyes still tied and your hands locked.

Tommy aggressively held you by your neck and pushed you down on his table.

You supported yourself on your elbows, waiting for his next move. He lined himself behind you, teasing your wet entrance with his rock hard cock.

“Please…..sir”, you whimpered, asking for more.

“Please what? You want this so bad don’t you, you little whore”. He left a light slap on your ass.

Without warning he thrust into you real hard making you gasp for air. He started slow, but gradually increased his pace, hitting your sweet spot.

The table rocked under you as his violent thrusts rocked your world, the melody of your synchronized moans blending in the air, creating an atmosphere of complete euphoria.

Never in your life have you orgasmed more than once, no man has ever had the same stamina as this man. You felt such a state of bliss in his company, you almost enjoyed being his prisoner.

He grabbed you by your hair, pulling you up to his chest, he nibbled your earlobe, then licked the soft skin of your neck.

“Does your pretty little head now remembers who’s boss here?”, he whispered in your ear, making you shiver.

“Yes.....sir”, you managed to mouth, between pants.

“Good girl! Now come for me baby”, he hissed, increasing his pace even more.

You let out loud open mouth moans as you felt your walls clench around his throbbing cock. He kept moving in and out until he felt you come all over him. He pulled out of you immediately after your orgasm washed you over. He pumped his wet cock a few times and then with a loud groan he emptied himself on you, painting your soft ass cheeks in shades of white with his warm semen.

He collapsed into you, leaving a trail of kissed on your back. He released you off your captivity and handed back your neatly folded clothes, along with some tissues to clean yourself.

“So, are you satisfied with me sir?”, you asked shyly, as you put on your last piece of cloth.

“What do you think?”, Tommy asked curiously, a cigarette hanging from his lips.

“I think I satisfied you enough for you to give me my clothes back”.

“You think so? What if I told you I’m not done yet”, he said, taking a puff of his cigarette.

“Wear higher heels tomorrow. And no panties”, he added, a smirk appearing on his handsome face.

“Yes sir, ‘anything' you say”. You couldn’t help but bite your lips as you made your way out of his office.

[saphirered]

Can I request the Mighty Nein funding out the reader had been hiding a kinda injury

I hope it turned out the way you wanted it! Thanks for requesting 😘

(Caleb)

Caleb is no stranger to physical injury and has embraced his squishy wizard nature. You however have covered up many injuries in the past, letting them heal on their own as you always had before you had handy clerics around to fix you up. Old habits die hard and unlucky for you, when he’s not nose deep in a book Caleb will see right through your brave face act.

Upon finding out you’re injured Caleb would simply sit you down. He’ll take it upon himself to tend to your injury despite your best efforts to convince him you’re fine and it’s just a scratch. He knows better.

Silence. You’ve never managed to get a word out of the wizard when he’s caring for your ailment. He’s completely focussed but will listen to you talk so his silence is not rooted in concentration.

Caleb won’t mention your injury to anyone. It will be your little secret but you’ll be able to catch him staring at you, and when you meet his eye he’ll give you a little half smile; a nonverbal ask to see if you’re alright.

(Beau)

Training accidents happen but hardly ever exceed bruises. A sparring match gone wrong may have ended with you getting a bo-staff to the ribs with a little too much force but you play it cool. It’ll be fine. Just some bruises. You assure Beau you’ll sleep it off and it wasn’t that bad.

Beau’s not entirely convinced and definitely pries until you come clean. Persuasion isn’t Beau’s strong suit but she makes some solid arguments, and threats that leave you forced to reveal your secret.

Upon seeing the injury Beau will curse like a sailor, telling you you should have told her. Best not to mention the trouble breathing… Wether you want to or not she’ll go get the clerics to fix you up despite any and all protests.

Beau will keep grilling you for weeks, bringing your injury up as ammo in any argument she needs won and will keep a close eye out. She’ll refuse to spar with you but we all know Beau likes her training and with you being one of the very few actually able to keep up (sorry Fjord) she’ll give in and beg you to train with her again, this time more mindful of her actions.

(Fjord)

Fjord may play cool but he tends to be a worrywart and when he already has enough on his plate you be mindful not to stress him out by facing him with anything else. That includes you getting a pretty heavy hit from an enemy in combat.

Back on the ship you resign yourself to the lower deck and cargo hold duties as to stay clear of Fjord’s direct line of sight. You’d take the crows nest but an injured leg will do you no good climbing.

Bad weather and a leg injury at sea do not mix well and you, being slammed into the side of the ship unable to get back up sends Fjord in overdrive. He’ll help you below deck to a safe spot and prepare for basic care until one of the clerics can come fix you.

Fjord’s seen enough injuries; others’ and his own and knows well enough what you got didn’t come from your little tumble. He’ll be extra tentative but scold you for not saying anything and telling you you should tell him in the future.

Regardless of the clerics’ opinions he puts you on bedrest for the next few days until he feels like you’ve learned your lesson. Don’t count on being allowed to go up to the crow’s nest for a while though.

(Veth)

Having taken a tumble down the stairs while reading a book and conversing with Caleb (who you had to swear to secrecy) you deliberately stayed clear of Veth unless you had any sort of object to lean on to support yourself.

It’s more out of embarrassment you’re hiding this one even though your ankle hurts like a bitch. Every time you, Caleb and Veth are in the same room you’re sending the wizard death glares when he holds back a comment or laugh at your desperate attempts to keep this a secret.

Veth’s a mom and if there’s one thing moms are good at it’s figuring out when someone’s hurt. The moment your facade falls through, she’ll go into overdrive, pushing you to lay down on a couch or similar soft surface area, rushing to get you extra pillows and the likes.

Be prepared to have Veth hoover over you until you’re in the clear. She’ll do whatever she can to make you comfortable and brings you some trinkets to pass the time. Maybe don’t ask where she got them because they were definitely not in her previous possession.

(Jester)

It was gonna be an epic move! You’d jump down, weapon at the ready to stab down into the creature; death from above! Didn’t go as planned as you got swatted out of the air by the creature before you could strike down.

Luckily no one saw. After the battle you just claimed the plan fell through and you had to improvise. Meaning, you gritted through the pain of being rag-dolled into a cavern wall, got back up through the pain and back to battle.

If only Jester hadn’t asked you to help harvest the monster parts so you could sell them. You could barely carry your weapon, swinging it; different story. But Jester is persistent and you couldn’t just refuse the cute blue tiefling so you obliged gritting through the pain hoping no one would notice you taking a quick breather every so often.

Jester did notice and came to inspect your work, with a tap on your shoulder you feel a radiant warmth spread through you, making breathing and moving in general a lot easier. A thanks is in order and you’re sort of glad Jester keeps this on the down-low.

“Next time just tell me, okay?” Jester makes you pinky promise and you know that’s binding so you better keep your promise.

(Caduceus)

There’s a reason why you leave the cooking to Caduceus. You’ll happily cut some vegetables but try to stay away from anything else throughout the process of preparing food. When Caduceus asked you to watch the stove and add some spices to the food as he rushed to the pantry to get some more ingredients you were worried…

What should you do? Caduceus didn’t tell you how much to add of anything. Maybe you can just sniff the spices? Yeah, that sounds right. Opening the small jars and pouches one by one go through. You add a little of the fragrant ones and a bit more of the neutral spices.

One sniff of a red flaky powder sends you into a coughing fit, your airways burning like a blazing fire. Water doesn’t help. If anything it makes it worse. You get your breathing and cough under control but you do not trust your voice and scalding throat so when the firbolg returns you keep quiet.

No responses from you are a bit odd and what were you thinking you could keep anything from this man. Caduceus calls you out on your behaviour asking questions that need words and not nods, shakes, shrugs or the likes.

Upon you trying to talk he immediately knows what happened. Putting on a quick brew, in a short time you’re presented some tea to remedy your burning throat. It may not be your worst injury ever but it surely is an uncomfortable one. You gain a new appreciation for the dead people tea.

(Yasha)

You felt like you couldn’t do anything but try to hide the bleeding gash on your side, luckily covered by your clothing. Yasha had already gone through enough, last you needed her to deal with is the knowledge she injured you severely when under the control of someone else.

Back to normal you head into the next fight. For some reason you’re faltering and making mistakes you otherwise wouldn’t. Yasha notices and will be at your side in an instance to defend you but a single enemy blow sends you unconscious.

You can confidently say that opening your eyes to a raging barbarian pouring the contents of a healing potion down your throat is one of the most terrifying and admirable moment’s you’ve witnessed in your life.

Yasha asks when you got the cut since your bloodstained clothes don’t 100% add up. Tempted to come up with an excuse Yasha has you figured out. Prepare for endless apologies and a guardian angel watching over your shoulder threatening anyone with even remotely malicious intent into thinking twice about their actions.

(Mollymauk)

Molly will pretend he hasn’t noticed you’re hiding anything when he’s caught on you are being secretive. You’re entitled to your secrets.When he finds out you’re injured that’s no different. Unless it’s something that could be the death of you he’ll play along. You’re stubborn so you get to feel the consequences of your stubbornness.

He’d ask you to help him with this new routine he’s been working on or push you to spar with him. He’d make sure you have to pay extra mind as to not make it hurt as bad as your injury does when resting because that’s when the severity of your injury becomes clear to him.

Molly would deliberately make everyday tasks a little harder. You’re doing dishes? could you carry the heavy tub of water? Setting up camp? Keep pressure on this or hammer that into the ground. Will put your things out of your reach where you’d have to climb or jump to get them.

He’ll keep these shenanigans going until either you come clean about your injury or he really gets worried to the point he’ll have to step in for your own wellbeing. The former usually occurs leaving him smug and willing to carry you claiming to be your daring saviour.

Depending on the severity of the injury he’ll be a pretty decent caretaker spending time with you and assisting you whenever you need it. When it’s not as bad anymore he’ll be teasing you as much as he can. He won’t make you forget your stubbornness and pride gets in your way of admitting defeat and we all know he loves winning the game.

[suchalonelysunflower]

Tell Me What You’re Thinking (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood x Fem! Reader

Summary: You overhear something you shouldn’t hear. But Calum will make it right, won’t he?

Warnings: ANGST. Language (including insults), mentions of alcohol, drugs and cheating. MC with low self esteem. Some grammar mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 4 k

Author’s Note: hi I’m back with the angsty shit. This is very self indulgent, and I put Mitchy as a bad guy here, so sorry if you like him? Reblogs, Commets, Feedback and likes are very welcomed and encouraged! I love to hear from you guys ❤️ hope you like it and Happy Reading ✨🦋🌻

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

You sighed as you finished your last paper. It was finals week and you were officially done with your exams and term papers for the semester. The last couple of weeks were rough and no one knew that more than you and your boyfriend Calum who has been by your side through this whole stressing process.

You smiled to yourself as you remembered the encouraging words that Calum often said to you. He knew how hard you worked in school and at your part time job in a law firm, and you appreciated how much he cared for you in times of stress and frustrations. Always cheering you up from the bleechers as you made a name for yourself.

Calum promised that once you were done with school for the semester, he was going to take you out on a well deserved Holiday, just the two of you and Duke as you celebrated another six months worth of work done. Everything was already planned for the next weekend and you couldn’t wait.

You reread your final essay one more time and decided that it was enough for today and if there were any mistakes left, then you’ll deal with them tomorrow. Now the only thing in your mind was a cozy blanket and a feel good movie. But first, you needed to get some food and drinks for your mini celebratory self care session.

The thought of asking Calum to come join you crossed your mind, but you quickly remembered that tonight was boys night. Every couple of weeks Calum and his friends have a little night out to catch up and decompress all of the stress of the week. Tonight was Calum’s turn to host boys night as they decided to have a quiet night in, so they must be having a good time downstairs and you didn’t want to ruin the mood.

With that thought in mind, you carefully placed your laptop on Calum’s side of the bed and carefully untangled your legs from under the covers so you wouldn't wake up Duke, who snuggled with you every time you had to work to keep you company. You put on one of Calum’s hoodies and headed downstairs trying your best to not make any sound.

Before you even reached the last step of the stairs, you could already hear your boyfriend’s laugh and it made your heart flutter. Even after almost three years of being together, his laugh still gives you butterflies every time you hear it, falling even more in love than what is possible.

Once you were in the kitchen, you started looking into the cupboards as you searched for your favorite snacks, but in the end you were unable to find any, thinking that maybe Calum has hidden them somewhere on the top shelves where he knows you can’t reach.

Letting out a small huff, you debated with yourself the option of climbing up the counter or admitting defeat and go ask your boyfriend for some help. Luckily, you didn’t have to decide as you heard a familiar voice behind you.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite scholar” Said Ashton with a light chuckle “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be out tonight since it’s boys night”

You smiled as you let him wrap his arms around you to give you a hug. Ashton was the first friend you made when you moved to LA a couple of years back, he was the one who introduced you to Calum in the first place, and you were very thankful for having him as a best friend.

“I had to finish up some term papers, so I had to reschedule my girl’s night for tomorrow” You explained to the black haired man “And what are you doing here? Need a refill?” You ask, pointing to the empty glass he was holding.

Ashton nodded, “Yeah, but I also needed a time out. Mitchy is kinda being very obnoxious today” He said with a sigh.

Mitchy Collins was a close friend with the boys for many years now, but you can’t say that he is a friend of yours. It’s not like you haven’t tried to befriend the singer, on the contrary, you both had multiple chances to get to know each other but he either ignored you or made things very awkward between you. And, to be honest, you were not that excited to become his friend either. There was something weird about him, a bad vibe per se, that made you not trust him at all. He was always very loud, obnoxious and downright rude sometimes and it made you very uncomfortable. Both Calum and Ashton knew about your uneasiness with Mitchy, so they didn’t push it too far and you were thankful for that.

“Oh?” You asked, trying to mask your discomfort “What is he saying this time?”

“Just a bunch of bullshit, to be honest. He is very high right now and thinks he’s above everyone else” Ashton said, taking a seat on one of the kitchen island stools. You did the same as you offered him a glass of water.

“Are you high right now?” You chuckled.

“Nope. Calum and I decided to stay clean tonight cause tomorrow we start early in the studio and the weed kinda messes up our pipes” He explains.

“What about Luke and Mikey?”

“They are not here yet, they said they needed to finish up something for a song and then they will meet us here” Ashton shrugged, not giving it too much importance “And what about you, darling? How was your day?”

You began to tell Ashton about how you finally finished the semester and how excited you were for your little getaway with Calum next week. However, every couple of minutes you were interrupted by a loud laugh or an obnoxious comment coming from the living room where the rest of the boys were sitting. Sometimes their loud comments started loud conversations that neither of you could help but overhear, but you did your best to ignore them. But some things are easier said than done.

“I’m telling you man! You can do so much better” You heard Mitchy’s voice echoing through the house, followed by a chuckle from Calum who mumbled something among the lines of “Fuck off”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you stopped the conversation you had with Ashton in order to pay attention to what was being said down the hall. You looked at Ash with a confused face, wondering what they could be saying but at the same time not knowing if you should continue listening to their private affairs. You were about to open up your mouth to continue what you were saying until another comment made by Mitchy caught your attention.

“You have to admit she is the worst sometimes. All she does is boss you around like you are some kind of puppet. She is the definition of annoying”

You sat up straight as you looked at Ashton, who mirrored your puzzled expression.

“Is- is he talking about me?” You asked in a whisper.

Ashton shook his head “I don’t thi-”

“I swear! What does she even do besides work and study all the time? She barely has time for you. You said it yourself! And when she’s not doing any of those things? She’s nagging around and clinging to you like you’re a damn purse! That’s who Y/N is”

You froze in the spot. So they were talking about you… and did Calum really say you don’t have time for him? You don’t even get time to yourself and he knows that! He said he was okay with it, that he understood and supported you through and through… Guess not.

“I still don’t know what you saw in her, dude. She’s just plain boring, playing to be a good girl when in reality she has zero personality” He continued his rant “She does nothing for you! Honestly! I’m surprised you made it this far with that bitch”

You knew that wasn’t true. He never really made an effort to get to know you! how could he be saying all those stuff? You did everything for Calum, all your goals, your plans are for the both of you. How could he know that if he never really talked to you? But you had to admit that that first comment really hurt. You were always doubting yourself at the beginning of your relationship with Calum, always feeling like you weren’t good enough, or pretty enough, or smart or fun or hot… To fight off those kinds of feelings was a difficult job to say the least, but Calum was always there to fight them with you, reassuring you that he loved you. He loved every part of you and he will love you forever.

“Is she at least a decent fuck? Cause I don’t see her doing anything remotely interesting in bed” Mitchy laughed “If she’s not she’s just wasting your time”

You noticed how Ashton suddenly stiffened next to you when he heard Mitchy’s comments. His knuckles turned white as he gripped his fists at the side of his body “Okay, that’s enough” But you were quicker, grabbing onto his shirt as a sign to make him stay there with you and not cause a scene.

His eyes found yours and you could see the anger build up on them, you knew that he would defend you no matter what and you loved him for that. But you knew Calum would defend you over there, he wouldn't let him talk about you that way.

“Ash, please” You pleaded, tugging on his shirt for him to take a seat again. But he preferred to stay standing next to you, almost like guarding and shielding you from any other comment that might hurt your feelings.

“I can’t let him talk about you like that!” He hissed. But you just shook your head.

“I know, Ash. I know. But Cal will handle it” You said confidently, trying to keep yourself together.

You knew Calum would not let those comments slide. Even if you weren’t in the room with him, those comments were awful and very hurtful, no one deserves to be treated like that, especially by someone as close as a friend of his.

You waited for his intervention, but your heart crushed when the only thing you heard from him were laughs.

“She’s a good fuck” That’s all he said.

The grip you had on Ashton’s shirt suddenly flattered as you fought the lump in your throat “Y-you said he wasn’t high” You whispered to Ashton, who was just as frozen as you were after hearing his best mate’s comment.

“He’s not” He said, standing tall next to you. As much as he wanted to go in there and give the guys an earful, he knew you needed him here with you.

Out of all the things Mitchy has said, out of all the insults and belitments, that’s what he says? That you’re a good fuck?

You knew that you could be annoying sometimes when you got happy. You just wanted to share that happiness with everyone around you and you thought… you thought that Calum liked that. You were not a bad girlfriend, you always tried your best to make him as happy as he makes you; to love him as much as he loves you, cause he loves you. Doesn’t he?

If he loves you then why is he letting his friend say all of this stuff about you? Why is he not saying anything? Does- does he agree with him?

The tears started rolling silently, half of you not believing what you were hearing while the other half clang to the idea of Calum defending you at some point.

“Oh I know!” Said Mitchy after a while “I can introduce you to someone! Right now, actually. Her name’s Vanessa and she’s crazy hot, dude”

He can’t be serious.

Ashton looked at you with pleading, furious eyes. Almost begging you to go and let him deal with them. But you grabbed his hand and made him stay. This has to be it. This has to be the chance for Calum to say something.

“You’re kidding right?” The curly haired man asked. Making you let out a breath of relief.

“Not at all! Think about it. We go, you meet her, you fuck her and done!” He said like it was nothing “Y/N will never find out cause she’s stuck up her ass. Your fans will never know or they won’t care cause they don’t even know you are in a ”relationship” to begin with! You are single to their eyes. And you get a decent fuck from someone who looks the part and knows how to have fun! It’s a win - win!”

Your heart stopped as you waited for Calum to answer. To tell Mitchy to go fuck himself. To tell him that he loves you and would never do that to you.

“I don’t know, man. I’ll think about it” Calum shrugged “Plus, if we go out I’ll have to tell Y/N. She’s upstairs finishing some shit for her university”

“Fucking hell… see! I told you! A stuck up bitch” Mitchy said, making Calum laugh.

But their laughs and the rest of the conversation grew numb to your ears. Your body trembled as the tears came flooding in, holding in the sobs that were tearing up your throat. How could he? He was really thinking of cheating on you.

You could feel every little piece of your heart shattered as you search for some kind of leverage that could hold you still so you don’t fall and break. You felt ill, disgusted and heartbroken.

As you tried to get up, you felt your knees buckle and almost fell to the ground if it weren’t for Ashton holding you up. He was still there and you knew by the look in his eyes that he was not going anywhere.

He was just as disgusted and angry as you. He couldn’t believe all the things that were said tonight, all the things that Calum failed to make it right and hurt you in the process. He knew that if he were in that room that the conversation would’ve died the moment it started. He would never let them talk about you that way.

“I-I can’t-“ You cried, moments away from hyperventilating “I can’t stay here, Ash”

He nodded, pulling you into a hug and kissing the top of your head for reassurance “Go upstairs, love. Grab your stuff and we’re getting out of here. You’re staying with me tonight, okay?” Ashton let go of you and started walking towards the living room where the rest of the guys were still talking.

“Ash” You called, making him turn around “D-don’t make a scene, please”

He sighed as he muttered a quiet “okay” before turning around, leaving you alone as you went upstairs to grab the bare necessities to spend the night, you’ll figure out the rest later. Right now you just needed to get out of here.

You opened the bedroom door and almost collapsed at the entrance. Duke came running towards you, sensing that there was something wrong as he started to whine and tried to jump into your arms. That only made you cry harder as you realized that you were leaving him too. You fell to the floor and patted the puppy as he tried to wipe off your tears with his tongue, breaking your heart even more.

A loud voice cut you out of your thoughts. You could hear Ashton yelling, although you couldn’t exactly figure out what he was saying. This meant that Calum knew you heard everything and that, if he had at least some decency left in him, he would come and get you. You needed to act fast.

You stood up and grabbed the first big bag that you could find. Inside of it you threw your laptop, your books, your charger, some clothes and some bathroom essentials. You debated on whether or not to take with you a picture of you, Calum and Duke… it was your favorite memory with them. But the damage was stronger than the nostalgia, so you threw that picture to the ground before you left the room that once belonged to you.

You were running down the stairs when you passed Calum running up them. You ignored him as he stopped in his tracks and followed you to the hall.

“Y/N!” He said, desperate to try and stop you “Y/N, baby, please! Hear me out!”

“Hear what?! I already heard enough!” You said as you turned around.

Calum’s face was almost unrecognizable. The fear in his eyes, the desperation in his voice and his close off body language was not something you’d normally see in him. The “I fucked up” expression showed all the regret in the world, yet you didn’t seem to care at the moment.

“I. Heard. All of it, Calum” You cried through gritted teeth, anger boiling inside of you as you stared at the man you thought you’d marry “All of it and not once did I hear you say something to try and defend me. How do you think that made me feel?!”

“Baby-“ He tried, but you cut him off.

“I work my ass off all day and night for you, for us. For me to go and see you on tour like you ask me to, knowing damn well I would go to the ends of this fucking earth for you! Catching up extra classes and shifts so I can go with you. I cancel everything to be with you. I gave up everything for us to be together. I barely even have time for myself as I try my best to be something worthy of you!” Your tears were staining your face, but you pushed away the pain for a moment, knowing that once you break down it’s over “I try my best to be a good girlfriend, a good friend! I loved you with all my heart and this is what I get after almost three years? A good fuck? That 's it?”

Calum’s world fell to the floor as he tried hard to fight off the lump in his throat, whispering in a broken voice “Loved?”

“That’s all you get from it?” You ask defeated “Calum I would’ve never let my friends call you names, insult you or offend you in any way. I would’ve gone to the ends of the world for you, defended you till the day I die. All because I trusted you to do the same for me and you failed me, Calum. You broke me. You let him call me a bitch, a stuck up, worthless, stupid, bossy, annoying… should I go on? Cause those words are now printed in my memory, next to you agreeing to all of those things. Is that what you think of me?”

“Baby, I swear it’s not like that!” He said, grabbing your hand and trying to make you stay “I fucked up! I know! You are right, I failed you and you don’t know how much I hate myself for it! But please, love. You know I could never think of you like that… you are the most wonderful person there is! You are kind, smart, loving, beautiful-“

“Did you cheat on me?” You ask bluntly.

“What?”

“Did you cheat on me?”

“No!” Calum said instantly “No, I would never!”

You nodded “Yet, you thought of it.”

Calum opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off again “Is that why you never made our relationship public? So you could have a free pass whenever you want to? Cause I thought it was to protect our privacy, for us to have a normal life in the midst of the chaos that is to date a celebrity. When you told all of that I thought “wow, this is a guy with integrity and with values” Yet I don’t know what to believe now. I thought you loved me-“

“I do love you-“

“I thought you loved me” You said, the tears were already dry as the anger came flooding in “But you don’t hurt the people you love. You don’t break them like you did to me. You don’t let anyone hurt them, even if they are not in the room with you. And you don’t cheat on them like you were going to tonight with that girl Vanessa while I waited here like an idiot for you to come home and spend some time with me”

You pull your hand out of his grasp, holding onto your bag as you heard Calum cry “Y/N-“

“You are free to do whatever you want now, Calum. Cause to the eyes of your fans you are single, and I am as well”

You turned around and saw Ashton waiting by the door with his keys in his hand. He opened up the door for you as you walked by, ignoring all of Calum’s pleads for you to stay.

“So you are just going to leave?!” He yelled, not knowing what else to do. “Whe- Where are you taking her Ashton?”

The black haired man made sure that you were already sitting in his car before turning around to face his friend “I’m taking here with me and away from you cause that’s what she needs now. So don’t bother calling or showing up cause you are not welcome right now. And don’t even try to call Luke or Michael cause they already know and we won’t support you on this” Ashton said as calm as he could. He already told him off, but the anger of seeing you cry in front of him still resided in him.

“I- I love her , Ash! You can’t just take her away from me. I’m her boyfriend!”

“Correction, you were her boyfriend. And I can take her away and I will cause she asked me to” He said taking an intimidating step closer to Calum “Cause while you were here talking trash about her behind her back, planning on how to cheat on her. I was back there, holding her while she broke down crying cause she couldn’t believe that her boyfriend didn’t stand up for her and let a fucking stranger insult her all night long! You weren’t there to see her eyes water or her lip tremble. You weren’t there when she begged me with tears in her eyes to not make a scene cause all she wanted to do was to get out of here. She is the most amazing person ever, she is a light in all of our lives and you extinguished her without a second thought. You might be my friend, but she is too and I love her and I will defend her no matter what, she doesn’t deserve this kind of crap you just showed to her. So don’t count on me to try and help you get her back, I won’t blame her if she doesn’t”

Calum felt small as Ashton walked away from him, closing the door with a bang and leaving him all alone in his big house. Well, almost.

“Dude, that was intense” Mitchy laughed as he placed a hand on Calum’s shoulder “So, wanna go now?”

A blind rage fell over Calum as he heard the mocking laughs of his so-called friend, acting like his life just didn’t fall apart in front of him.

Calum grabbed the singer by the neck of his shirt and pushed him forcefully against the wall “You are going to get out of my house and never come back. You hear me?!” He yelled to his face, almost letting out steam from his nostrils as he was sure he could kill him right now.

“Dude, what’s wrong with yo-“

Calum quickly grabbed a bottle from his nearby mini bar, suddenly gaining all the courage he should’ve had hours ago, and throwed it to Mitchy’s feet, making him jump “Get the fuck out!” He yelled, grabbing bottle after bottle, glass after glass and throwing them into the ground “OUT!”

Only when the last bottle was smashed into pieces did he realize he was completely alone.

And only then did he allow himself to cry for the loss of the love of his life, walking away from him and leaving him to pick up the pieces of two broken hearts.

part 2

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @talksoprettyjjx @mystic-232

[heavenbarnes]

when it’s that time of night

Jim Hopper x Reader

Warnings/Contains: swearing, dirty talk, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex, mentions of masturbation, fully clothed sex, implied age gap, canon-typical spookiness

Word Count: 3.4k

i finally finished stranger things and i’m just as hot for hawkins chief of police as i was when i started, so here we are x

Gathered around Joyce Byers' kitchen table, your gaze flickered between the comotion unfolding in front of you, and Hopper. Things had undeniably changed since that evening, and those same things had only seemed to get, well, stranger. A silly part of you hoped that if you glared at him hard enough, things would start to become clear.

"I wouldn't normally do this, but you're about one of the only people I can trust."

Jim stood on your doorstep with three of the neighborhood kids, and one young girl you'd not seen before. This was not something you anticipated when you started seeing Hopper, but nevertheless, you stepped aside and let them in.

Maybe that was why he had brought them hear, because it was in your nature to care more about their safety than what made sense. You let the kids have your TV remote and flick through your records, before you turned back to Hopper with a kind of expression that said "you do this with all the girls that let you sleepover?"

And after that, in all hushed tones in your very small kitchen, Jim divulged tales of disappearing children and ones that could move things with their mind.

"I just need you to keep them safe for a few hours, then I'll explain even more."

As much as he did explain, you felt like the more you saw and heard, the less you knew. Listening to these kids, try to tell you that Joyce's son had been kidnapped by the monster from their boardgame? You felt like you needed to lay down a while.

Your skills ranged from serving diner meals on rollerskates, and driving the neighborhood boys crazy in the process. You weren't sure how you'd fear as a monster hunter. Young Jonathan Byers snapped you from your thoughts by throwing a theory out to the group.

"So for us to strike whilst the iron is hottest, we'd just need to know when it will all start happening again?" 

Everyone murmured in agreement but Hopper wasn't having it.

"Ok, so when exactly would that be? Are you going to tell me there is just a time that these things are all going to kick off?"

Your ears pricked up and suddenly your mouth was opening before your brain could catch it.

"Three in the morning." That had everyone's eyes on you.

Not used to hearing you join in on these things, Hopper prompted you to carry on.

You pushed up off the wall you were leaning against and spoke again. "Three in the morning, the witching hour."

"What is the witching hour?" Jonathan pressed you further.

"My Grandmother used to tell me about it, in folklore they say that three in the morning is the witching hour." You stepped further towards the table where they had all congregated.

"It's when the veil between this part of the world," One of your hands lay flat beneath your chin, whilst the other lay palm turned up in line with your belly "And this part of the world,"

"Like Australia?" Dustin questioned, receiving a smack in the arm from Mike.

"No, like the underworld or what you guys call the upside down, it's when the veil between the two is at it's thinnest allowing the unforgiving to travel through."

They all looked from each other and back to you, beginning to fear that you might be onto something.

"Believe me, I work in a 24-hour diner, if things are going to get strange it's going to be at three in the morning."

"What kind of strange?" Joyce spun round at that comment, a sort of pleading in her eyes.

"The lights will pulse, and the machines will start to get these electricity surges, I hate working the nights in there." The look she gave you began to prick the hairs on the back of your neck. "Why are you looking like I've just laid the last piece in your puzzle?"

"Because I think you just have."

Ever since you spoke the witching hour theory into existence, you hadn't been able to get it off your mind. That very next day, your boss called the house and told you that you'd be on the night shift, and Veronica's kid had mono so you'd be doing it alone.

Something told you that you'd made a mistake speaking it outloud, that now this- well whatever this was, but now that it knew you knew it's secrets, it was onto you. However that could've all been crazy, and maybe Hawkins was getting lazy with it's electrical and it just got screwy when they thought everyone was sleeping.

Regardless, it was now 1.41am and there wasn't a customer in sight. It was just you, the empty diner, and the fast approaching witching hour. For the first time in your life, you actually wished one of the town's teenage boys would come in and hound your for a date, just so you had some company.

You resorted to wiping down the counter for about the 30th time that night, a spot of mess at the one of the back booths catching your eye. Leaving the counter, you roller-skated down the back of the store and cleaned up the leftover baskets and napkins. You were bent over the table, flicking the the cloth over the surface when you heard it. The bell on the door.

Your blood rain cold and just about every hair on your body stood on end. An unexplainable feeling drifted over you, that feeling when you know it's all gone wrong, but there just isn't anything you can do about it. That feeling enveloped you and it took over you, you couldn't even bring yourself to turn your head.

Heavy, heavy steps were heading your way and you knew it was do or die. You could try shoot the gap to the backroom, that or beat whatever it was with your bare hands. As it got closer you geared up all your strength and spun around on your skate in an instant.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU STUPID FUCKING-"

"GOD, PUT YOUR ARMS DOWN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

Hopper gripped your wrists and stilled you moments before you lay your fists in his eye sockets. Your breathing slowly came back down to a normal pace, but you could still feel your pulse rattling around in your body. Of course it was just Hopper, of course it wasn't a boardgame monster stopping by for a snack.

"What are you doing here?" You still sounded exasperated as you pulled your arms from his grip and threw yourself into his chest.

He brought both his arms around your shoulders and pulled you further into him, giving you a moment to calm yourself down. "I came in to keep you company, I know you've been a little on edge since you brought up that shit at the Byers' house."

"God, thank you so much, I'm sorry for trying to beat you to death." Voice muffled by his chest, your sentiments were still appreciated.

He brought you back down to the front of the shop and you took one side of the counter each. Fixing him a coffee as a half-hearted apology for the near miss, you slid it across the counter to take place of an olive branch. He accepted with a grin, unable to stay mad at you, even when you're trying to knock his teeth out.

"I am actually so sorry, I really have been on edge, I don't know why." Your head fell into your hands, gently tugging at your own hair.

"Hey, hey come here." He called you around the counter, turning around in his stool as you got closer.

Pulling you between his spread legs, you settled back into his hold, allowing those big hands to rub down the spanse of your back. Even his touch alone could soothe you, even when you were still a little terrified of a time on the clock. His hands moved to your lower back, gently rubbing away all the tensions you'd held inside you for sometime.

There was something about Hopper, from the moment you finally let him drive you home after a shift, giving in to his multitudes of compliments about your roller-skates and your coffee pouring and your little uniform. He was warm and he was kind, he made you laugh and he felt good when he wrapped himself around you. Oh, and it couldn't be forgotten that the Hawkins Chief of Police was unbelievable in the sack.

"You got any customers tonight?" His voice rumbled against your whole body, sounding from deep insdie his chest.

You pushed back from him, letting his hands fall to your waist and your eyes meet, your fingers played with the buttons of his uniform.

"Not since 11.30, and I won't see anymore, I never do." You sighed, tipping your head back with a petty groan. "I still don't know why they have me here so late."

Hopper's hands drifted lower, ever so slightly, until his fingers were toying with the hem of your dress. The gentle touch pricked your skin up, understanding from a touch alone exactly what his intentions were. You kept your gaze fixed on his, a look in your eye that almost seemed to say "go for it."

One of his hands took yours, long fingers slotting between yours as he pulled you out from between his legs. Your roller-skates glided you easily along the linoleum floor, putting you out in front of him.

"Do a twirl for me?" His mouth quirked up into a smirk, making a heat rise up your neck and settle at your cheeks.

You didn't so much agree as he did it for you, lifting your arm and twirling you around on the wheels of your skates. If your dress wasn't so tight, it would've spun around you, but your apron did it for you. An unmissable grin spread across Jim's face, watching your little pose at the end as you both giggled.

"I believe they have you here so late to keep you in this little uniform just a bit longer." His voice was gruff, pulling you towards him again.

"Oh is that what it is?"

"That is what it is," His hands went back to the hem and seemed to sneak under it. "It's to make life harder for me."

"So, this is about you?"

"All about me, it's so I have to sit at home and just think about your pretty ass skating around in this tiny fucking dress, and there isn't anything I can do about it."

It got hotter in the diner, right in that very moment, you could feel it spreading across your body as you lent into him. Your lips ghosted just moments above his, so close he could feel your breath on his skin.

"Well you aren't at home now," You whispered, very nearly placing your lips on his. "What are you 'gonna do about it?"

He didn't have to tell you, it was rather a display to show you what he'd do. His lips came to yours, his signature was a domineering kiss that left you reeling an unable to think of anything else afterwards. His kisses left a hold over you, the way his tongue felt against yours, the way his hands moved against you. This man had you good.

Standing up from the stool, he wrapped one hand around your waist, pulling you flush against him in one swift movement. Your hands went up to his jaw, feeling his coarse beard under your fingers as you pulled his face closer to yours. One of your hands took his hat from the top of his head and hung it off the register beside you.

Hopper kept his hand on your waist, and left the other go beneath your thigh. In one swift motion he lifted you, placing you down on the counter before pushing the skirt of your dress up your legs. With a hand on each knee, he spread them apart and pulled you right to the edge, pushing himself between them to get even closer.

You moaned into his mouth, the feeling of him handling you like his brought a wave over you, making your legs shake around him. One of his hands traveled higher up your thigh, making it's way past the bunched fabric and between your legs. Two fingers pressed firmly against the seat of your underwear and it was made apparent, just how wet he'd gotten you.

"Fuck, little lady you are always so good for me, aren't you?" His voice was nearly a bark, lips moving down your jaw and to your throat.

"I try my best, chief."

His motions stopped at the sound of that name, and within in instant he was pulling your underwear down your legs. It hung around one of your roller-skates as he pushed both your legs over his broad shoulders, leaning you back till you were perched up on your elbows.

Hopper's mouth found the meeting of your thighs, his tongue coming out to lick a fine stripe along your heat. Your mouth fell open and your hands flew to his head, fingers threading into his hair as he began to move his tongue against you.

Gasps and nearly pathetic whimpers fell from your lips as he worked against your clit, rolling it against his tongue with unreal precision. The only word leaving your lips was his title, the sound of chief filled the diner and bounced off the windows.

His hands gripped your thighs, holding them apart as your body willed you to clamp them around his head. Your hips rolled forward, pressing you further into his mouth as his tongue moved down further before coming back up to that one spot.

So quickly, you could already feel that tension building inside you, a fine line of pleasure that was ready to snap. His eyes rose up to you, locking with you and making about every muscle inside you tighten. That look in his eye, it could've killed you the way you knew exactly what it meant.

He had a sweet tooth only you were pretty enough to sate.

One of his hands left your thigh and moved below the counter, you listened to the sound of his belt buckle as he haphazardly undid it one-handed. You heard his fly next and it was incredibly apparent that he was palming himself as his tongue still moved against you.

The thought, the image in your mind, the sounds he made as he moaned against your wetness it was all too much. Your head tipped back, fingers tightened in his hair as you cried out for him. You felt that line snap as your release washed over you.

Hopper never let up, lips still pursed around your clit as you rode out your high, nearly overtaking you. He never went to far, always new the line and he pulled back as he stood to full height. Your legs fell to his sides and you looked up to see him grasping himself in his hand.

His other hand trailed against your sensitive heat, two fingers dragging through the wetness that remained there.

"You have the sweetest fucking pussy I've ever got my hands on." He growled as he dove in for a kiss, the taste of you ever present on his lips.

He took that hand from between your legs and used it to slick up his cock, twisting your wetness around himself as he lay his head at your entrance. He dragged it along your sensitive cunt, before slowly pushing his way in.

The gasp that fell from you was iminent, Jim had a stretch like nothing else. Your body relaxed into this kiss and into him until he was hip-deep within you.

"And your pussy is so fucking tight, I can't believe how lucky I got." 

"It's all for you, chief, fuck me like you mean it."

So he did, his hands slid to the other side of the counter and gripped the edge before he delivered the first incredible blow. Your back arched up and a cry was ripped from within you as he pumped his hips quickly against your own.

Your hands shot up to grip his arms, feeling the muscles tensing beneath the cotton of his work shirt. Legs tensing up around his hips, moans and whimpers still steadily coming from you, it only seemed to spur him on like he was listening for the way you fell apart for him.

"You look so good taking my cock, pretty girl." He huffed, one hand leaving the counter to come and grip your hip.

He pulled you back against him with every thrust, striking deep inside you and rolling your eyes back in your head. Still on edge from the flood of pleasure he had just dipped you in, you felt like you were right there, teetering on the edge and waiting to be pushed over.

Always knowing exactly what he was doing, exactly what would drive you crazy and have you falling apart around him. Maybe this is what it had all been about, that talk about being with an older man, you'd heard the stories and he'd proven them all right.

From the moment you'd started sleeping over with each other, Hopper had changed your life. You didn't know if you could go back to nights without getting your back blown out by Jim Hopper. He would always talk about how he couldn't believe he got a pretty young thing like yourself, but you didn't know how you'd lucked out on someone that made you feel the way he did.

Gripping onto his uniform and crying out for him, you felt that hand on your hip slip down to your clit, rubbing furious circles against it. Another moan of that name, that title that until you had said it, was nothing more than a work give name. Now, the way that you said it gave it a whole new meaning.

It had gotten so bad that he had to stop asking you to call him that in front of people, after he'd pitched a tent the day you visited him at the station. Now that was reserved for teasing.

The way he touched you, how he knew your body, it had you dangerously close to coming undone for him once again that evening. Your heat clenched around him, dragging him in with a raw cry ripping out of your throat and rising above the both of you.

That line snapped once more and you couldn't help the way your hips rose from the counter and your body twitched under the mountain of pleasure. Over the sound of your own blood rushing in your ears, you could hear the words of encouragement coming from Hopper.

He rode out your high with you again, pulling you back against him and refusing to let up as you felt him faltering slightly. "That's my good girl, 'gonna make me come."

You reached your hands up his chest, pulling against his shirt as you arched your back for him again. Your lips pursed as you mustered the strength to call out to him.

"Come for me, chief."

And that was enough to do it for him, his hips stilling tight against you as he came deep in you. Grunts and chopped cries of your name could be heard as he pulled you flush towards his chest, arms wrapped under your back as his heart hammered against both of your chests.

He let you back down from the counter, fixing himself as you pulled up your underwear and smoothed out your uniform. You placed his hat back on his head as he sat back on the stool, before you slotted back between his thighs.

As he wrapped his arms back around you, you heard, and then you saw it. That electrical pulsing, that buzzing that seemed to come from the lightbulbs. Right as your heart-rates had just come back as they should, you physically felt yours pick up again.

"Baby, what'd you call that damn time again?"

Your eyes moved from the flickering lights to the big clock on the wall, the one you usually focused on for your breaks. The hands were pointing clear as day, three in the morning.

"The witching hour."

[hobbitingryffindor]

Don’t respond after 9 pm

So I've never written fanfic before, but apparently, I'm pissed at Jane. Please be kind, but also let me know if I should continue. I have a few other rules and scenes in mind. I have no idea if this will grow into anything more. Constructive feedback would be great.

___

Maura was ruminating. It was never good when she couldn’t get through her Saturday morning yoga session, but these days, it was becoming the norm. So after she finished her cup of tea, she locked herself in her yoga room, rolled out her yoga mat, and settled in with herself.

She had rules. They were new, and it was hard to keep to them some days, but they were there because she knew better. She knows she deserves more. She may not have had an attentive family growing up, but she knows her worth, or at least she’s gotten better at reminding herself. She knows what they have goes beyond friendship. She also knows it will never be more. Jane just keeps holding back the final piece of the puzzle. She could resign herself to a lifetime of this sexually charged and emotionally mediocre but never fulfilling relationship OR she could take a step back from Jane and a step forward for herself. But last night she forgot. She forgot the first rule she put in place almost a month ago.

1 - Don’t respond to Jane after 9 pm

Recognizing the anxious feeling that started in her chest, she told herself that it was a slip-up and it wouldn’t happen again. But she couldn’t help but grab her phone and reread last night’s messages.

10:36: J - Hey, you still up?

10:42: M - Just finished Bass’ enrichment and heading up to bed.

It had been such a simple response, it just floated out of her fingertips. She was so used to just always responding to Jane.

10:43: J- Enrichment? You can just say that you were in the sandbox hiding food for Bass to find.

10:44: M- Fine yes, I was reading his namesake’s new foreword in “Skeletal biology and bioarchaeology of the Northwestern Plains” while bass dug up the cactus leaves and strawberries I hid in his sandbox.

10:44: J- You make my night of watching the Sox lose seem like an exciting night

10:45: M- What can I say? We love to party over here.

10:45: J- I don’t know when it started, but you’ve gotten really good at sarcasm

10:46: M- You must be rubbing off on me ;-)

As Maura reread that line, she couldn’t help but cringe a little. She really couldn’t stop herself from going there last night, it was yet another small slip up, that showed how their friendship was always a little more than friendship.

10:59: J- I feel like I haven’t seen you at all this week, is the morgue backlogged?

11:04: M- It’s no busier than usual. Actually a little less so without a murder yet this month.

11:04: J- Give it time, Boston can’t go more than 2 weeks without a new murder. Have you been in court on other cases this week? I went to see if you could grab lunch a few times and I never caught you.

11:05: M- We must have just missed each other, I did lunch out of the office a few times.

11:07: J- You going to fancy places without me now?

11:09: M - Really Jane, any place that doesn’t allow jeans, you label as fancy. But no, a friend from my residency, Erica, did a few guest lectures at BCU. I caught one of her lectures and we had lunch a few times.

11:09: J- I see how it is, replacing me with other genii.

Reading this for a second time feels like a needle in her chest, last night it paralyzed her, she didn’t know how to respond. She wasn’t replacing Jane, per se. This was also the point last night where she realized her mistake in responding to Jane’s late text. Even now, she still isn’t sure she handled it correctly.

11:18: J- Any plans for tomorrow?

11:20 M- While genii is correct, you can just say geniuses, you don’t have to try so hard. And, no I’m not replacing you. I was planning on browsing Newbury St in the afternoon.

11:21 J- Great, so I’ll pick you up at 2, I’ll carry the bags and then we can hit up Eataly for dinner? We haven’t been there in a while.

11:25 M- That’s okay Jane, I know you don’t enjoy my long shopping ventures, you don’t have to come. And I’ve got dinner plans, I’m sorry. But I’ll see you Sunday night for dinner.

After that, it was radio silence from Jane. Even after all these years, all the social cues Jane’s helped her learn, she still doesn’t know how to read the silence. Last night she was torn. She wanted to hang out with Jane but didn’t. Now she had to live with rejecting Jane’s plans, and what felt like a rejection of Jane herself.

That’s what brought her here, meditating as the sun was rising, or trying to anyway. Maura shook herself out and realized she was going to need a little help this morning clearing her mind. So she opened up the Calm app and resigned herself to a guided meditation. Maura went through the motions of her day, finishing off with an overzealous stop at Diane Von Furstenberg’s on Newbury just because. She still hadn’t heard from Jane and was trying to tell herself it was okay, they were okay, they were just both adjusting to this new normal. Maura hadn’t figured out what this new normal was supposed to be, but she knew she was unhappy with how Jane and she were a couple in every way, except in the way that mattered. Their friendship was unhealthy as it was. If they were only going to be friends, Maura was going to start making space in her life for other friends and possibly a lover or two. She can’t pinpoint when it happened, but her very active and healthy sex life seemed to slowly dry up the closer she and Jane got.

______________

Dressed in her new Midi dress, and a brand new pair of St. Laurent sandals, she waived to Angela across the courtyard as she headed off to meet Erica. Driving to the Chart House, she couldn’t help but reflect and acknowledge that Eric’s timing was creating a good distraction for her. She and Erica had done their residencies together, they hadn’t been best of friends, but she was always warm to Maura and tried to include Maura in her social circle. A few years after Maura moved to Boston, she reached out when she landed in Providence doing a Post Doc Fellowship at Brown. They’d do dinner a few times a year, trade interesting journal articles, nothing special, but it was nice to have a friend outside of BPD. When BCU invited Erica to guest lecture for the week, Maura decided she’d just drop in on the first lecture, which led to a couple of lunches earlier in the week, and a celebration dinner as Erica was just offered a tenure track faculty position starting in the fall. Pulling up to the valet station, she decided that this was just what she needed to expand her social circle a bit. She’d enjoy her evening, celebrate Erica’s new position and enjoy the late spring evening.

______________

Like clockwork on Sunday around noontime, the Rizzoli’s started to filter into her home. Angela always led the parade, bringing groceries and starting the prep process. Over the next couple of hours Jane, her brothers, little TJ, Frost, Korsak, Kiki, and even Susie sometimes would wander in and fill her house. When she invited Angela to live in the guest house almost 4 years ago, she never thought it was going to be permanent, nor did she think she’d enjoy having her there as much as she does. For all of Angela’s meddling and snooping in Jane’s life, she’d been nothing but respectful of Maura’s boundaries and privacy. Maura treasured how their patchwork family considered her house their gathering place, when it was full, it felt like the warm home she yearned for as a child. The amazing dinners, even if sometimes unhealthy, were a vehicle for that love and inclusion Maura had spent over 30 years searching for. She’d found it with Jane and her family, but she still craves more. She wants more than a patchwork family, she wants her own family.

As Maura was finishing up working in the garden beds Tommy and TJ arrived. By the time she’d entered the kitchen freshly showered and ready for Angela to put her to work, she saw Jane and Frankie had joined Tommy in watching a basketball game. Maura greeted everyone while looking at the TV, she noticed no one was wearing a green jersey so she knew Boston wasn’t playing, which usually boded well for her couch and rugs. TJ was in his high chair feeding himself some plain pasta while Angela sang to him. Maura and Angela quickly fell into their rhythm with this week’s batch of Ragu simmering on the stove. By the time the lasagna was in the oven, Frost, Korsak, and Kiki had arrived and, Angela and Maura joined the gang in the living room to snack on some arancini before dinner.

While Maura and Angela always cooked, the most relaxing part of Sunday dinners was when Jane and Maura cleaned up. Never fail the boys would head out not long after dessert and the games were over. And Jane in her way of appreciating her mother would kick her back to the guest house for an early night, while she took charge of cleaning up the kitchen.

“Another glass of wine while you work?” Jane asked Maura while grabbing the bottle

Maura just put her glass in front of Jane while nodding for more. The pots and pans were washed, the dishwasher had already started its cycle and Jane and Maura were moving to the living room to straighten up before settling in to catch up on their week. Normally all this happened with a comfortable level of conversation between them, but tonight, there was a little more silence than usual. With blankets folded and the remote located, they settled into the couch, each sitting against an arm, facing each other.

“You know mom asked me how your date went last night, I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone” Jane started.

“It wasn’t a date, I told you I was going to dinner with Erica, she’s just accepted an offer at BCU.”

“No, you said you had lunch with Erica” with a slight hint of annoyance that only Maura could pick up on. “I didn’t know you guys were doing dinner, I thought you might have been hiding a new boyfriend from me”

“No, no new boyfriend Jane. Although that would be nice or maybe a girlfriend, I haven’t dated a woman since I first moved to Boston”

Jane nodded, her eyes a little bigger than normal, sometimes Maura could swear Jane forgot she was pansexual.

“What about you? You seeing anyone new?” Maura asked, mostly to take the heat off of her. She didn’t know what was worse, talking about her lackluster dating life or trying to appear supportive of Jane's dating life when all she wanted was to be the person dating Jane.

“No, although Frost mentioned his old college roommate is single. I can’t believe I’m even entertaining the idea of letting him set me up.”

“You should at least meet him, if Frost is setting you up, I’m sure he’s a good man.” Maura grinned through a fake smile.

“I don’t know” Jane responded, Maura saw the walls going up “ I don’t want to talk about dating. Is Erica going to move to Boston? You know you’ve never introduced us, are you scared I’ll embarrass you?” Jane half-joked, changing the topic.

“No Jane, you have to stop with the self-deprecating humor, you know I’m not embarrassed by you. And yes, she needs to finish teaching a summer seminar at Brown, and then she’ll move up here.” The next words fell out of her mouth as soon as they occurred to her “I should see if she wants to come to next Sunday’s dinner.” Seeing Jane’s small annoyance grow into jealously, she redirected. “She can meet everyone, but please don’t interrogate her for college stories. You already know I was weird and awkward, you don’t need more things to tease me about!”

Jane took the bait “Ohhhh, I didn’t even think of that! I wonder if she’s got pictures!!

Maura just rolled her eyes, relieved that the tension was broken. She really did want Jane and everyone else to accept Erica, she remembered what it was like moving back to Boston and not having anyone. The rest of the night passed quickly, Maura kept the topics to mostly work or Boston politics. Jane could rant about local politics for hours and it didn’t put Maura at risk of gazing at Jane like she wanted to take her upstairs. A little before 11, Jane sighed and made her excuses about getting back to Jo before she relieved herself on the rug again. Pre-rules Maura might have made some comment about how much wine Jane had and how she should stay the night. Post-rules Maura kept her mouth shut. As Maura locked the door behind Jane, she couldn’t help but hope that just maybe, with some delicate balancing, she’d be able to move on from Jane and keep her as a friend.

________

Later that week Maura found herself at the Robber with the whole group, even Susie joined them. Maura was finding her new footing and it felt nice, it gave her a boost of confidence. Jane no longer acted as her interpreter when Frost made a joke, Korsak no longer felt the need to censor his dirty jokes and Susie actually had a pretty foul mouth once she had a few drinks. More than ever she noticed how breaking down her walls, allowed others to break their own down around her. She didn’t feel like Queen of the Dead anymore, she was Maura. As the night stretched on the table shuffled around a bit, Korsak left to meet Kiki, Frankie and Nina joined, Susie went home and Frost tried his luck with a pretty blonde at the bar.

Maura didn’t even notice how slowly Jane crept to her, close enough that her side was against Maura and her arm draped behind Maura across the back of the booth. But she did notice when the vibe between Jane and her started to mirror that of Frankie and Nina, right down to Jane ordering Maura another drink before checking with her. Maura and Jane were a couple, they couldn’t help it. The small touches, the laughing into each other’s sides, even the stolen glances. It no longer felt like hanging out, it felt like they were on a double date. It was too much for Maura, she excused herself to the bathroom to regroup. Looking at herself in the mirror, she scolded herself. She had to get out of there, she needed more distance. How could she possibly have her own relationship if she always ended up with Jane?

“I didn’t realize how late it had was,” Maura said marching up to the booth. “I’m going to head home. I’ll see you all in the morning? Those cultures should be ready by 10, I’ll page you when I have the report ready.” All of a sudden Maura infused a formalness into the air that wasn’t there before. Frankie raised his eyebrows but said nothing. It was weird for Maura to leave without Jane, or at least inviting Jane back to her house.

“I’ll leave with you” Jane started to get up.

“Oh no, that’s fine, I’m parked just across the street. I’ll be fine, stay, enjoy the rest of your beer” Maura responded with a slightly stern note. Jane nodded, “Party pooper, leaving me with these love doves” gesturing to Frankie and Nina, while they responded with mock offense. As Maura walked away, she didn’t see Frankie lean in and whisper to Jane.

Once Maura settled into bed for the evening she decided it was time for her to get out there. Even if it meant her joining one of those annoying dating sites. It was better to be trying than pining. Last week Erica had suggested How About We, it was worth at least signing up. She decided that it couldn’t hurt more than she was already hurting. While she hadn’t opened up to Erica about how frustrated she was with her’s and Jane’s relationship, she had expressed a desire to get out there more and Erica had offered a few bits of advice. If she couldn’t go to Jane about this, it was nice to at least have another friend to commiserate with about dating. As soon as she completed her profile, her phone beeped and a notification popped up on the screen.

11:17 PM

Jane Rizzoli

You awake?

Clicking her screen off, Maura put her phone on her nightstand and turned over for what would be a very uncomfortable night’s sleep.

[strawberrynamjoon]

awkwardly in love

– pairing: jeongguk & reader

– genre: college, childhood friends, best friends to lovers, fluff, humor

– word count: 20k

– summary: even if everything changed, yours and jeongguk’s friendship would always stay the same - at least you thought so. but jokes on you, cupid had other plans for the two of you, making you reconsider everything you thought you knew about your best friend of twelve years.

Disclaimer: This fic is not proof read because I was way too lazy. You’ll most likely find a few mistakes here and there, I am sorry!

When you thought of Jeongguk you felt a lot of different feeling – the first one coming to your mind was pride. Honestly, how couldn’t you proud of your friendship that has lasted for such a long time? After growing up your friendship wasn’t as close as it used to be back then, when you were still in the same class, sitting next to each other for eight hours straight every single day but you still were trying to meet whenever your schedules would allow it - Jeongguk was your top priority and you were his.

By now, there were other people both of you talked to more often though – while he’d spend his daily life with friends like Jimin and Taehyung now, you did the same with your new won friends like Namjoon. It was only a natural process, considering the fact that you were majoring in different subjects, not sharing any classes anymore. But still, you luckily managed to maintain your special friendship that, no matter how close you were with other people, no one else could ever have. And if that wasn’t something to make you proud than you wouldn’t know what could. 

Another emotion was nostalgia. Both of you had come a long way, from two children playing with mud in the backyard to two young adults, about to start their own life. The little kids that seemed to be so different back then but deep down were as similar as could be were now growing up, clinging to each other because they were afraid of what was about to come. 

You’d scoff every time you thought back to those simple days, knowing exactly how cliche it sounded when you said that things were way easier back then. But they truly were. You had nothing other to worry about than your meaningless crushes or convincing your parents to let you stay out longer than usual. Nevertheless, it was nice to think that your friendship would always savor a bit of that innocent naiveness you used to have.

Like said before, you felt a thousand different emotions when thinking of Jeongguk but not a single bad one. Well, at least until now.

“What do you mean?” you asked Jimin, who was looking at you in surprise when you stood in front of the door to his, Taehyung’s and Jeongguk’s shared dorm, “He’s where exactly?”

Panic was written over Jimin’s face, not wanting to be involved, “He left an hour ago, meeting up with a girl from tinder.”

You knew this was not Jimin’s fault and you didn’t want him to feel conflicted so you simply clenched your jaw while taking a deep breath, “This goddamn jerk.”

The blonde, and also very cute guy let out a chuckle, his head nodding in agreement, “Couldn’t have said it better. Do you want to come in and wait for him?”

Thinking about it for a second, you sighed, “How long does it usually take for him to get back?”

“You’re asking me about his stamina?” Jimin seemed amused, taking a step to the side so you could enter their dorm, “He’ll be back soon, I promise.”

Laughing, you walked inside and took off your jacket. Looking around, the living room was just as messy as Jeongguk’s room at home used to be – some things never seem to change.

“Do you want tea? A cup of coffee?” your best friend’s roommate offered, already standing in the open kitchen space, looking for a clean mug before turning around to you, raising his eyebrows, “I have some vodka too if you’d prefer that.”

“Don’t worry about me, it’s Jeongguk who should be worried,” you shrugged as you let yourself fall down on the big couch, feeling bitter.

“Don’t be too harsh on him,” Jimin replied with a chuckle while making you a coffee even though you told him he didn’t have to, “His hormones are going crazy at the moment.”

Scoffing, you shook your head in disbelief, “I thought this phase was over.”

You got your phone out, wondering if Jeongguk maybe texted you but there was nothing – so you called him.

Without having to wait long, he rejected your call.

“Oh no, you did not,” you mumbled under your breath, dialing his number again, making Jimin let out a laugh as he sat down on the couch beside you.

And once again, he rejected it.

“Let me try it,” Jimin proposed, as he called him and much to your surprise, he picked up.

“What is it?” Jeongguk asked on the other line of the phone, out of breath and sounding beyond annoyed, “Why is everyone calling me?”

Jimin laughed, “You sure sound like you’re having fun.”

“I’m trying to,” he answered and you could picture his stupid grin just by hearing the tone of his voice, “But I keep getting distracted.”

“You little piece of shit,” you took Jimin’s phone in your hand, “I didn’t deal with your stupid ass for twelve years just for this.”

First, there were a few seconds of silence, a clearly confused Jeongguk thinking hard about who that voice belonged to and why he was being screamed at.

“(Y/n)?” he asked unsure, “Why are you with Jimin? When did this happen? Are you on a date?”

“Nothing happened,” you immediately shut him down, “Except for you standing me up.”

“Oh god, shit,” was all you heard, “I completely forgot. I’ll be home in an hour or so. You can stay or I’ll come over to yours later. Whatever you prefer.”

Before you could think about what to do he interrupted your thoughts, “I am so sorry, I truly am.”

“It’s okay, I’ll keep her company until you come back,” Jimin interrupted your light discussion, “But you better hurry, I know you get jealous when we spend to much time with her.”

“That’s not true,” your best friend insisted, “No one of you could ever replace me anyway, even if you married her I would still be her number one.”

“Now you’re just overconfident,” you nagged him, “Jimin already told me your stamina isn’t the best so just hurry up and come home.”

And with that, before he could say anything else, you hung up, Jimin’s eyes growing wide, “He’ll kill me.”

Laughing, you shook your head, “Won’t let him, don’t worry. The only head that will roll today is his.”

It took Jeongguk exactly 56 minutes to come back and, judging by the sweat on his forehead, he either ran his way back or he had a wild night. And by god, you hoped it was the first one. 

Obviously, you were aware that Jeongguk was in college and that he definitely wasn’t living a prude life, neither did you, however, your sex life was about the only topic you two barely talked about.

Jogging over to the couch a moment later, your sweaty best friend embraced you in a bear hug, his arms wrapped around your neck, pushing your face onto his chest. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, ruffling your hair, “It’ll never happen again.”

“It better won’t,” you had fight yourself out of his grip to be able to breathe, disgusted by the thought of his sweat on you, “You’re lucky Jimin was here to keep me company. “

He gave Jimin, who was just about to go to his room, a thankful smile, “Thank you, I owe you one.”

“You’re good, don’t worry about it,” Jimin almost scoffed, “Much fun, you two lovebirds.”

Rolling your eyes at his comment, you diverted your attention to Jeongguk, “Had a good time at least?”

His ears turned red in an instant, even though he wasn’t the young wallflower he used to be anymore there still was a shy side to him, “I would’ve had more fun spending the last hour with you if I am honest.”

Chuckling, you grabbed the remote next to him, ready to search for a movie to watch, “I didn’t know you’re such a playboy. Jimin told me things I certainly didn’t want to know. You better use protection, I am not ready to become an aunt yet, Guk.”

He gave you a death glare, “Don’t jinx anything, (y/n).”

Jeongguk got up to close the blinds even though it was dark outside already, making his way to the small kitchen that was part of the living room, looking into a fridge that had nothing more than an unreasonable amount of beer and one lonely bottle of milk stored inside, “How hungry are you?”

Glancing over to him, you let out a scoff, “God, I’ll force you all to go grocery shopping with me tomorrow. How are you surviving in this household?”

He laughed, shrugging his shoulders lightly, “Solely on beer as you can see.”

Walking back over to you he held two cans of beer in his hand, handing you one as he let himself fall down on the couch right beside you. It was completely dark, the TV being the only source of light in the whole room. 

You loved nights like these, only you and Jeongguk watching movies, eating, talking about anything coming to your mind - it was easy being his friend, it always has been. 

After all those years you spent together you were sure no one knew him like you did. And it was a fact that he also knew you better than any other soul walking on this earth.

While you were deciding on what to watch, your friend was on his phone about to order some pizza for the two of you. 

You were sitting with your legs crossed on the middle of the couch, Jeongguk right beside you, in a weird position somewhere between lying down and sitting, his upper body was straight, his back resting lightly against your shoulder as his legs were spread out on the couch.

“Here, it’s kinda cold,” he threw you a blanket that was lying around, not paying much attention to you as he was still looking for what food to order, mumbling, “But cover me too, don’t use it all for yourself.”

Covering both of you under the blanket, just as he instructed you to, you felt way more comfortable immediately, excited to finally spend some time with your best friend again. He still used the same cologne he always did, ever since middle school, the scent bringing you back to your teenage years every single time.

He let out a small giggle when he heard your stomach growl, “Don’t worry, food is on its way.”

“Thank god, I’m starving,” you confessed, not even being able to remember what you had for breakfast today.

“It’s not like that, by the way,” Jeongguk’s voice was quiet and your mind was trying to figure out what exactly wasn’t like what. You threw him a questioning glance, letting him know you had no idea what he meant.

“Whatever Jimin said, I’m not a playboy or anything like that,” he bit his lip nervously, making you chuckle immediately - it was almost cute to see him like that, “I just want a girlfriend.”

Wherever the sudden urge came from, Jeongguk clearly wanted to talk to you about his feelings, not knowing where to start.

It’s a rather rare experience to hear him talk about them, usually, he’s the bubbly and funny boy from next door everyone loves, no one ever saw him in a bad or thoughtful mood except for the ones closest to him.

“As if thousands of girls aren’t lining up, all waiting for their turn to impress the Jeon Jeongguk,” you playfully rolled your eyes, making him exhale a breathy laugh, “I know at least three or four girls who’d be down to make you the happiest man alive.”

Sometimes you wondered if Jeongguk wasn’t aware of his good looks - even you, as his best friend, would lie if you said you didn’t check him out before. It was still a miracle to you how the small, shy boy grew up into such a handsome young man, who not only had muscles and a flawless face but also a fitting, loving personality too. 

“You know yourself that I tried dating but I’m not very good at it,” he confessed, a pout forming on his lip.

His head was resting on your shoulder, the frustrated sigh coming from him amusing you - not that you wanted to make fun of him, it was just funny to see how he goes from a confident guy to a shy baby, “You’re good at everything you try.”

Laughing, he glanced up at you from his position, “Thanks for the ego boost.”

“Not like you need it,” you nagged him, scrunching your nose, “just don’t rush yourself, Guk.”

“What about you, though?” he suddenly changed the topic, sitting back up to look at you better, “How’s your dating life going?”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you shrugged, “It’s as uninteresting as ever.”

“Nothing going on between you and Namjoon?” he playfully pinched your cheek, as if he could ever get any information out of you by acting cute, “I swear, he was flirting with you at your birthday party.”

“Never,” you gave him a death glare, not believing he brought Namjoon up again, “Even the chances of you and me falling in love are bigger than me and Namjoon ending up together.”

“You say this as if it would be super weird for us to be dating,” Jeongguk squinted his eyes at you, a bit offended by how fast you opposed to the idea. 

“We have been best friends for twelve years,” you countered, giving him a questioning glance, “If anything was supposed to happen between us, it would’ve had by now, don’t you think?”

“I agree but everyone always thinks we’re into each other anyway, so what I tried to say was that the possibility of us being a good couple probably isn’t as little as we’d think.”

Both of you had no idea why you suddenly were trying to find out how high the possibilites of you to being a strong were couple but here you were, weighing the pros and cons of a hypothetical relationship.

Giving it a short thought, he kind of had a point. You never ever before thought about what it would be like to date Jeongguk for you - of course not, there were clear lines between the two of you, no one ever even dared to think about crossing them. 

After all the years you spent together, Jeongguk was never anything else than a friend towards you, not even a single thought crossing your mind what kind of boyfriend he’d be.

“I see what you’re saying,” you admitted, deep in thoughts, “I guess it’s because we’ve been friends for so long, we already know everything about each other.”

“Exactly,” Jeongguk agreed with you once again, “We’re just so comfortable around each other and know how to deal with the other person. It’s not like I’m saying we should date but from a logical point of view, it could work. Technically.”

“In theory, yes,” you nodded, “but the possibility of me killing you because you chew way too loud is just too high for it to work out.”

He let out a laugh, shaking his head in disbelief, “You have very weird standards.”

You gave your best friend a warm smile, a sudden rush of appreciation coming over you, “It’s nice having you in my life, Guk.”

Immediately, he threw the same warm smile back at you, always appreciating such heartfelt moments between you even though they didn’t come around often - you obviously didn’t have to tell each other how much you cherished your friendship, the many years at each other’s side speaking for themselves, “I know, I know. Your life would be pretty boring without me.”

“Way to ruin such a pure moment,” rolling your eyes, you let out a laugh, flicking his forehead lightly, “I take it back, you’re an absolute shithead.”

Pouting, he rubbed the spot where you flicked him, “You’re so aggressive, I don’t want to date you anymore.”

Something about Jeongguk joking about you and him as more than friends made you feel excited and you instantly tried to get rid of the thought, not wanting to get caught up in such a stupid idea, especially not if that idea involves Guk. 

But deep inside, you couldn’t help but waste a few more thoughts about what it actually would be like to date your best friend, feeling immediate heat rushing to your cheeks for having such inappropriate thoughts.

“Well, good for you because that would literally never happen,” you shook your head, hoping he would stop with that nonsense.

Almost as if he knew what effect it had on you, he grinned amused, “I bet you’re thinking about it right now.”

“Just be quiet and watch a movie with me,” you begged him, obviously not wanting to continue this conversation but still feeling like you should comfort him, after all, he tried to talk about his feelings with you a few minutes ago, “Your lonely ass will find a girlfriend, don’t worry about it.”

“Will she be able to down a whole bottle of wine within fifteen minutes though?” he asked amused, referring to the many nights the two of you shared with several bottles of wine, getting drunk secretly in the back of your garden. Luckily by now, you didn’t have to do it in secret anymore, many nights ending with more emptied bottles on the tables than you’d like to admit, “If not, she’s not worth my time and attention.”

“I doubt anyone can keep up with our alcoholic asses,” you laughed, “It took years of training and acting sober in front of our parents to get to this level.”

Jeongguk joined your laughter, nodding in agreement, “I’m pretty sure they knew we were drunk of our asses each and every time.”

“What do you mean?” you asked sarcastically, “There’s no way your mother figured it out when we called her at three in the morning, asking her to pick us up because we didn’t know where we were and we both lost our shoes.” 

Jeongguk burst out into laughter one more time at the cherished memory he almost forgot, “I remember her asking me if there is something I recognize around us so she could figure out where we are and I told her the moon.”

Facepalming yourself slightly, a few giggles escaped your mouth, “God, we were so young. And sloppy.”

Your friend's arm wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you into a side hug, “And basically glued to each other by our hips.”

Chuckling, you leaned into his hug, your head lazily resting on your best friend's chest, “No wonder our parents used to think we were in love, judging by the time we spent together.”

“I’m pretty sure they still believe that,” Jeongguk let out a sigh, “My mother still calls you her daughter-in-law whenever she talks about you.”

It was the same for you - in your parents' eyes, you were destined to marry the boy from next door ever since they first met him. Primarily because your parents got along so well, they always romanticized the idea of their children making them become an actual family but looking back at it now, you understood why they always wanted you to become a couple - it would be a good love story after all. 

Back then the two of you hated how often you got told that you would make a cute couple. By now the two of you kind of grew used to the speculations around you, not paying attention to them anymore.

“My parents still thought we were in love even when I dated Lucas,” you shook your head in disbelief.

Immediately, Jeongguk made a vomiting noise beside you, acting as if he was about to throw up, “No mention of this name in my flat.”

Laughing at his dramatic acting, you playfully boxed his side, “He wasn’t that bad, you just never gave him a chance.”

Scoffing, he acted offended, “You started walking to school with him instead of me. That was enough for me to resent him.”

You sat up, crossing your arms in front of your chest, “I can’t believe you still won’t let this go, I apologized a thousand times.” 

Breaking his act immediately, his arms were pulling you into the same side hug again as before, “I’m kidding, I could never be mad at you.”

Before he could say anything else, your playful conversation was interrupted by the doorbell, Jeongguk immediately jumping up from the couch to get your food. You never were more thankful for someone interrupting your movie nights, finally having time to gather your thoughts. 

The two of you never flirted, at least you wouldn’t consider your playful conversations flirting - everyone around you certainly thought you were flirting but you knew it was very easy to mistake your lighthearted, nagging jokes and platonic casual displays of affection every now and then. You still remember the first times you met Taehyung and Jimin, having to convince them several times that there was no romantic tension between you at all - and honestly, there wasn’t. 

Like Jeongguk said earlier, you’re just comfortable around each other because you know the other person like the back of your hand. And just because you were horny college students that sometimes felt a bit flirtatious with each other, nothing would change. You’d always be just friends. Right?

A few moments later, you and Jeongguk were shoveling pizza in your mouth as the intro of the horror movie you decided to watch was on, the first few cans of beer already emptied. He was sitting closer to you than necessary, but you knew that Jeongguk’s concept of personal space was almost nonexistent. 

“Put your goddamn phone on silent,” he whispered warningly with his eyes glued to the screen as he heard it vibrate, “Tell Namjoon that it’s my turn to spend time with you.”

You chuckled at Jeongguk’s comment, it wasn’t a big secret that he hated being disturbed while watching a movie, especially not if it was Namjoon. He liked Namjoon a lot, when you first introduced the two each other he told you over and over again that he was way too cool for you but he hated that Namjoon always disturbed you whenever you were having movie nights.

To him, movie nights were his only chance to escape the college life full of exams, stress and due dates for at least a few hours and in those few hours he wanted nothing to burst his bubble, not even a vibrating phone.

Checking your phone, you chuckled when you indeed saw Namjoon’s name on your phone. The unsatisfied glimpse from Jeongguk not going unnoticed, you decided to just put your phone on silent mode, knowing Namjoon wouldn’t mind waiting for an answer.

Halfway through the movie, you were interrupted once again by a bright light from the corridor blinding you as the door to the dorm opened.

Taehyung kicked it open, not able to use his hands like normal people would because they were currently busy, one grabbing the girl on his lips by her waist, pressing her closer than she already was, the other one vanishing in her hair, both not noticing, or maybe just not caring, that you were sitting on the couch just a few meters away.

You knew that Taehyung was doing this ever so often, rumors spread fast in your college, but it still was a weird concept to you - you’d like to claim that you knew Taehyung quite well by now, maybe would even consider him a buddy of yours and the boy had a heart out of pure gold, very emotional and clingy, not only when he was drunk. So him bringing home random girls was still something that simply did not fit in the picture you had of him but then, on the other hand, who wouldn’t want to be with a man as handsome as him?

Jeongguk and you gave each other an annoyed glance, wondering how often you had to endure this again and again.

Taehyung still didn’t notice you, his one foot trying to get rid of the shoe on the other foot, not even thinking about breaking his kiss for a second. The girl was giggling into the kiss as his hand wandered under her shirt, his fingertips tracing her sides. 

Jeongguk paused the movie and cleared his throat, making Taehyung finally break free from the kiss, shooting a coy smile towards where you were sitting, “Hey there, how was your date? 

The girl you’ve never seen before still clung to his side without even greeting you, placing kisses all over his neck while Taehyung was talking to the two of you.

“It was alright,” Jeongguk said, shrugging, “Nothing special.”

His best friend let out a knowing chuckle, “You always end up on the couch with (y/n) after your failed dates. Call me crazy but maybe it’s fate.”

“Maybe it’s called being friends with someone regardless of the gender,” Jeongguk insisted, shaking his head, “You should try it.”

“As you can see, I’m doing just fine,” he shrugged, pressing his lips back to the girl in front of him, his hands holding her face as he mumbled between their kisses, “Let’s go to my room.”

And with that, the two of them were gone, leaving Jeongguk with nothing more than a scoff, “I’m in need of a new roommate if he keeps on bringing home random girls. They always eat my cereal.”

“If you’re ever out of cereal, remember my dorm is only five minutes away and you’re always welcome.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t have said that,” he warned you, “I’ll be in front of your dorm every single morning from now on. Irene will hate you because of me. And you’ll be super annoyed too, but I couldn't care less.”

He wasn’t wrong, even though Irene liked Jeongguk she hated nothing more than talking to anyone early in the mornings, you were the only exception and if you were honest, that was only because she couldn’t kick you out of your dorm, even if she wanted to. What he was wrong about though was the part of you being annoyed - you missed seeing him every single morning, sure you could never be annoyed by his company. 

“If you don’t remember, we ate cereal together every single morning before going to school for years,” once again, your trip to memory lane brought excitement to Jeongguk’s eyes, making them sparkle, “And I was never annoyed of you, ever.”

Scrunching his nose in a cute way, he nodded his head, “I bet you were annoyed when I was falling for Leah, you hated her so much and my dumbass couldn’t stop talking about her.”

You raised your eyebrows as the long lost memory came back to your mind, “Yeah, you’re right, I take it back. That was truly annoying. You were so smitten, I wanted to puke.”

Jeongguk repositioned himself, resting his head on your lap with his legs resting on the armrest of their couch, the two dark brown eyes glancing up at your face - you were sure that was the most unflattering position he could look at you from but since it was only Jeongguk you didn’t really care. 

A teasing smirk formed on his lips, “Maybe I should hit her up again, who knows what could happen.”

Even though you knew he was only saying this to piss you off, you couldn't help but fall for it, immediately giving him a death glare, “Go, eat cereals at her every morning then if you like her so much.”

Turning on the movie again, Jeongguk’s repositioned himself, his head resting in your lap, “I wouldn’t want to eat cereal with anyone else but you, (y/n).”

Your hand played with his hair, the casual affection making Jeongguk smile, “I sure hope so, I get jealous very easily.”

“I know,” he replied, his eyes glued to the screen, “But you’ll always be my favorite.”

Just as you were about to pull your hair out of your scalp, the frustration growing unbearable because you simply did not understand the text you were supposed to read for class, no matter how many times you started to read a sentence, you saw your phone lighting up, Jeongguk’s name all over it.

“Hey,” you whispered, standing up and gathering all of your things, taking the call as a sign to just stop for today, “I’m in the library, give me a second.”

As you walked out of the big library in the middle of the campus, you were shocked to see that the sun already began to set, embarrassed by how little you managed to learn in such a long amount of time. It was a nice view, the golden hour making the whole campus glow.

“What’s up, Guk?” you asked your best friend, happy to hear his voice. Ever since your movie night last weekend you didn’t manage to talk to him at all, too much on both of your schedules to even text each other. 

“I miss you,” his voice sounded whiny on the other side of the line, “What are you doing tonight?”

“Haven’t planned anything,” you admitted, your eyes still glued to the beautiful summer sky, “I thought about going to Namjoon’s to learn a bit more but my head might explode if I open those books one more time.”

“Come to the fair with us,” your best friend proposed, not giving you time to say no because he knew it’d take a bit of convincing to make you go out even though exams are coming closer, “I’ll buy you food. And drinks. And I’ll even accompany you to your next family meeting even though your family is crazy.”

At the last promise, you snorted, knowing that Jeongguk tried to avoid your family as much as possible, “You’d go through such a traumatic experience just so I’ll come to the fair with you. Sounds fishy.”

“Not fishy at all, I am just worried that you’ll drown in your study books if you don’t take a break soon,” he informed you, “You look cute. Let’s go.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What do you mean I look cute? Where are you?”

Before he answered you felt an arm wrapping around your shoulder, pulling you closer to the insane man that was your best friend, laughing at how startled you were, “We’re meeting Taehyung and his date in fifteen minutes, we have to hurry up.”

“Taehyung and his what?” you suspiciously asked your best friend, whose arm was still around your shoulder, making it harder for you to walk because you had to adjust to his pace.

Shrugging, Jeongguk you a small smile, “Taehyung and his date. They’re coming too.”

Glancing at him with your eyes squinted, you questioned him, “This sounds like a double date.”

Jeongguk stopped trying to act unsuspiciously, pouting at you, “He begged me to come with him, she didn’t want to meet up all alone with him.”

A long sigh escaped your lips, “And why didn’t you ask someone you’re actually interested in? Why do you have to pull me into this?”

“Hey,” he mumbled a bit offended, “You’re the most interesting person I know.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “You know that’s not what I mean, Guk. You could’ve asked any girl to go on a double date with. It’ll be awkward.”

Stopping, Jeongguk turned to you, making you stop to. The setting sun was a good look for him, making his brown eyes sparkle and his tanned skin glow. His long hair was shiny and you decided that you didn’t hate the idea of him growing out his hair anymore, it did look way better than you imagined it could but you wouldn’t admit it to him.

“He wanted to set me up with her friend but I really wasn’t feeling it, so I said I’ll take you,” he looked into your eyes, now he was the one sighing, “But if you don’t want to go that’s fine, I’ll just meet with them alone.”

Giving him yet another death glare in response to his pouting, you forced a smile on your lips, “I want chocolate-covered strawberries.”

Immediately the pout was replaced by a shining smile, his arm linking with yours as he continued walking, “I’ll get you as many as you want, (y/n).”

“And don’t even try to convince me going on any scary rides, I’m not as crazy as you,” you warningly joked, your best friend wearing his happiest smile making you feel just as happy. 

The walk to the fair was nice, the sunset making you feel all warm inside, you and Jeongguk catching up with each other. It reminded you of older days, back then when you’d walk home from school together on a daily. Jeongguk hated growing up just as much as you, the constant stress of university taking its toll on both of you, not even daring to think of working a nine-to-five job in a few years. That was probably one of the reasons why spending time with each other felt therapeutic - because together you could easily go back to the times when things were easy and unproblematic.

The fair was pretty crowded but you still managed to spot Taehyung and his date immediately, both of them waiting for you in front of the big entrance, talking comfortably, already a mulled wine in their hands. 

“They look good together,” Jeongguk whispered as the two of you slowly approached them and you agreed with him. 

“Not like it matters, Taehyung will probably be into someone else next week,” you shrugged.

“I’m not so sure about that,” Jeongguk said, his arm wrapped around your shoulders once again, making sure he doesn’t lose you in the crowd - you wondered if it was just your imagination or if he truly did initiate more skinship than usually, “He seems pretty smitten whenever he talks about her.”

You raised your eyebrows at him, surprised to hear that, “Taehyung’s in love, huh?”

Before Jeongguk could answer, you were interrupted by Taehyung spotting you, screaming your names like a mad man. Gesturing wildly, he told you to come over to him.

“Jeongguk, (y/n),” he hugged the two of you, “May I introduce Aleena to you?”

Aleena seemed like a sweet girl, way shorter than Taehyung but still just as fashionable as him, they looked like they came fresh out of Paris together. She was a bit overwhelmed with the situation, you could read in her expression that she wasn’t quite sure how to greet you so you decided to hug her, making her feel more comfortable immediately.

The four of you talked a bit before you started to walk around the fair - it wasn’t the biggest you’ve ever been to but it had its charm, the smell of popcorn in the air and the many flashing lights making you look around, appreciating the beauty of the view. Within the first minute on the fair, Jeongguk already decided that it was time to eat, pulling you to a small cabin on the side, Taehyung and Aleena following you. 

“Two waffles, please. One with chocolate, the other one with strawberries,” Jeongguk ordered, “Or do you want something different than strawberries?”

You didn’t expect him to actually pay for you but apparently, he was being serious about it, giving him a small nose scrunch, “Strawberries are perfect.”

Handing you your waffle only seconds later, he pinched your cheek, “You’re very easy to please. Your future boyfriend will have it very easy.”

Aleena glanced at you, confusion was written all over her face, “You’re not dating?”

Jeongguk and you let out a laugh, shaking your heads at the same time before he explained it, “No, we’re not dating.”

“Yet,” Taehyung added, “But everyone is rooting for them.”

“And with everyone, he means himself and our other roommate,” Jeongguk mocked Taehyung, playfully hitting the back of his head.

“You’d make a strong couple though,” Aleena grinned as Taehyung agreed with her, happy that they just won another member for their Fanclub.

“I told her too but she didn’t want to hear anything about it,” Jeongguk joked around, remembering you of the conversation you had last weekend, heat immediately rushing to your cheeks again. You really did your best not to think about it over the last week, doing a decent job until now that he mentioned it once again.

His arm was around your shoulder once again, giving you a teasing smile. He really had to stop with the sudden affection, it only made your head spin. The lines between him and you were always clear and you were afraid they’d start to blur if you keep joking around like that. 

Luckily, you weren’t the only one confused, judging by Taehyung’s expression, “What do you mean you told her? What did he say, (y/n)?”

Glaring at Jeongguk, he sneakily looked up to the, by now dark, sky, not answering the question for you even though he was aware of how embarrassed you were. You really didn’t want to think of the conversation and now you had to tell his best friend about it in front of him? 

“He was just joking around,” you explained to his best friend, making a mental note to kill Jeongguk as soon as you were alone for putting you in such an uncomfortable situation. 

“Joking around about what?” Taehyung asked again, wanting to know what happened.

Jeongguk was having way too much fun, taking your hand in his as if it was the most normal thing in the world, putting your linked hands in the pocket of his jeans jacket so you wouldn’t freeze, “Don’t tell him, he’s too nosy.”

Giving up, the four of you were switching to lighter topics, talking to Aleena about her major and how she met Taehyung. You were surprised by how smitten Taehyung seemed to be, a pleasant surprise of course, wondering if he actually liked her for longer than one night.

“Do you want to let go of my hand?” Jeongguk suddenly whispered for only you to hear as Taehyung and Aleena were standing in line a few meters away from you, getting ice cream. 

The way he asked felt a bit awkward and you wondered what was going on inside his head, “No, it’s okay. Just unusual for you.”

Nodding, his glance was avoiding yours, looking at the ice cream truck in front of you, “I just thought if we’d hold hands maybe they’d feel a bit more at ease and Taehyung could try holding hers too, you know?”

Playfully, you poked his side, trying to hide the fact that you almost felt a bit hurt in your pride that Jeongguk just held your hand to make it easier for his friend, “You’re pretty good at holding hands.”

Chuckling, he gave you a small wink, “Thank you, I trained hard. You’re not too bad yourself.”

Your playful banter was interrupted by the voice of a girl, calling Jeongguk’s name. The voice was shrill and loud, startling you.

Both of you looked around to the source of the owner of the voice - it belonged to a girl you’ve never seen before. As she came strutting towards you, Jeongguk let go of your hand, an unreadable expression on his face, you didn’t know if he was nervous or unsettled. 

He gave her a small smile, his hand playing with the nape of his hair, “Hi, Jennifer.”

Within seconds she hugged him, almost pushing you to the side while doing so. You wondered who she was and why you’ve never heard her name before. After she let go of Jeongguk, she looked you up and down, clearly not intending to even say hello to you. Wow, what a charming girl she was.

With her attention back to Jeongguk, she tugged a strand of hair that was hanging in his face behind his ears, chuckling, “Your hair is way too long, I told you to cut it, baby.”

Almost vomiting at the way she pronounced her nickname for him you felt the strong urge to suddenly defense the hairstyle you hated so much in the beginning yourself. Something about her was rubbing you the wrong way, most likely the fact that she seemed a bit too close to Jeongguk for the fact that he never mentioned her before. She was probably one of those girls Jimin told you about when you talked to him last weekend.

“Never, it’s a good look,” he insisted with a smirk and you could feel the awkward tension, almost feeling as if you were interrupting them. Were you the one third-wheeling right now? If so, it felt unfair to you - you were here with Jeongguk, not this random girl that you already disliked so much. God, where was Taehyung when you needed him?

“Are you coming over again tomorrow?” she asked him with an innocent expression on her face, “I miss you.”

Jeongguk shrugged, not comfortable to talk about this with her in front of you, “I haven’t decided on my Saturday plans yet, we maybe wanted to go to the cinema, right (y/n)?”

No, you never talked about this before. The cinema wasn’t mentioned once.

Before you could say a word, Taehyung was behind the two of you, wrapping one arm around each of you, “Right, we’re going to the cinema tomorrow. Who is that, Jeongguk?”

Never before were you as thankful as you were for Taehyung than right now, glad he noticed the strange atmosphere and decided to interfere.

“I’m Jennifer,” she told your friend unbothered before talking to Jeongguk again, “You can always come around after the cinema. The real fun begins at night.”

You wanted to gag at her being so intrusive, wondering what exactly Jeongguk saw in her. Of course, you’d always support him but she looked like trouble, not only for Jeongguk but also for your friendship. She intimidated you, almost feeling as if she wanted to steal Jeongguk from you - not that she could, no one could ever make come between the two of you but you still would prefer if no one even tried. 

You just had a weird feeling about her, something unsettling in your stomach when she talked to him. It made your stomach turn and your ribcage tighten. Jeongguk never made the best decision but something about her bothered you more than the past lovers Jeongguk had.

And right then, it suddenly clicked. Oh god, no. You weren’t jealous, right? No, you couldn’t be. 

Shit, maybe you were. And you wanted to blame Jeongguk for it, his stupid flirting and his sly behavior towards you over the last few weeks. And you also wanted to blame yourself, upset with you, knowing that it was absolutely inappropriate to develop a crush on Jeongguk out of all people.

You were just lonely, you told yourself, taking a deep breath, It’ll pass.

“Jennifer?” Taehyung asked Jeongguk, obviously not liking her neither, and it brought you back to reality, “Weird, you never mentioned that name once.”

You almost felt bad for Jeongguk, sitting between chairs. He didn’t want to be rude towards Jennifer but he knew as good as you and Taehyung that she was being a real bitch right now.

“A gentleman never tells,” Jennifer interjected, playing the same game as Taehyung. Aleena stood beside you by now, scoffing under her breath.

Finally, Jeongguk spoke up, deciding to put an end to the tense situation, “I’ll text you spontaneously, alright?”

Obviously unsatisfied with his short and meaningless empty promise, she gave up and hugged him, not without giving him a kiss on the cheek as she said goodbye and also not missing her chance to glare at you once again.

As soon as she was gone Taehyung hit the back of his head before walking to Aleena, casually linking his hand in hers - at least it was going good for them.

“That hurt,” he yelled at his friend, rubbing the space where he just got hit. 

“That hurt? No, what hurt was the way this girl was trying to mark you as her territory,” Taehyung insisted, shaking his head in disbelief to what he just had to see.

Jeongguk let out a long sigh, nodding in defeat, “I promise she’s usually not that bad. I don’t know what has gotten into her.”

Aleena let out a chuckle, “I think she felt a bit threatened by the pretty girl by your side.”

You didn’t even pay attention to their conversation, trapped inside your own thoughts. Somehow it was hard to swallow the fact that you thought that Jeongguk was flirting with you but then immediately let go of your hand as soon as another girl walks by. Holding his hand felt a bit too natural to you, your hands fitting a bit too well in each others’. And god, you wanted to hold it again.

When the others stopped walking, a worried Jeongguk was already staring at you but you ignored him, inspecting the Ferris wheel in front of you.

“We have to go,” Taehyung insisted, his hand still linked with Aleena’s - it was nice to see his eyes sparkling for once when he was looking at a girl, “It wouldn’t be a real fair date if we didn’t, no matter how cliche it is.”

Aleena let out a sigh, “Taehyung, I’m absolutely afraid of heights.”

Chuckling, he hugged her from the back, “You just say that so I’ll hold you.”

“If I die I will absolutely take you to hell with me,” she warned him, starting to line up for the Ferris wheel. You stood right behind them in line, their backs turned to you.

Jeongguk’s hands found your shoulders so you had no other choice than to look at him, “Will you do me the favor and accompany me?”

“I don’t know, Guk,” you told him, carefully removing his hands from your shoulders and his eyes turned soft as he heard you using your nickname, happy you weren’t mad at him, “Isn’t it a bit awkward? It’s a thing lovers do.”

Giving you a teasing smirked, he shrugged, “Why? Are you afraid I’ll make a move on you?”

Rolling your eyes, you scoffed at his shameless flirting. You know him well enough to be aware of the fact that he was just trying to make you let loose again and it worked but your mind still was preoccupied with the previous encounter.

“Or are you afraid that you can’t control yourself up there, all alone with me?” he added, the playful smirk on his face grew bigger and bigger, more than satisfied when he finally made you laugh even though you hit his chest while doing so.

“You’re terrible,” you glared at him, trying to stay serious but not able to hide the smile sitting in the corner of your mouth, “Now I’m definitely not going.”

He reached out to put his arm around your shoulder for a second but stopped himself, not knowing if you’d be okay with it - he noticed that you were not comfortable, “I can’t believe you’re going to make me go alone. I thought it was you and me against the world.”

“I never said that,” you insisted.

Letting out a scoff, Jeongguk gawked at you with his eyes wide open, “Excuse me, I thought it was our unspoken rule. I can’t believe you’d betray me like that.”

Shrugging, you played along, “All those years spend with you never meant anything to me.”

Holding his hand above his heart, he acted like it was hurting, a small ‘ouch’ escaping his lips. Right before you, it was Taehyung’s and Aleena’s turn to sit down, both of them mustering you with a teasing smile, Taehyung not being able to hide his sneaky comments, “Much fun. Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do.”

Jeongguk sat down in the wagon behind them, stretching out his hand, waiting for you with puppy eyes, “Please, don’t let me ride alone.”

With a long sigh, you took his hand and he rapidly pulled you close to him, making you stumble a bit, falling right into your best friend's arm, sharing an awkward hug - but it made Jeongguk happy so it was alright.

Happily, he wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you close to him. Normally, you’d enjoy the affection but you couldn't stop thinking about how fast he let go of your hand when Jennifer came into the picture and how much you wanted him to hold it again.

Jeongguk wasn’t stupid or blind, he has known you a bit too long to not realize what was bothering you. He also knew that he had to address it as soon as possible because otherwise, you wouldn’t stop thinking about it at all. And he wanted you to stop thinking about it asap because to him, Jennifer meant nothing. And you meant everything.

You felt terrible childish for being so affected by such a small thing. The two of you were friends too long for you to be worried about some random girl he didn’t even think was important enough to mention coming in between you. Scanning the view of the fair as the Ferris wheel slowly moved upwards, your stomach dropped and you knew it was not because you suddenly were afraid of heights.

“(Y/n)?” your best friend asked carefully, his tone sweet.

After you hummed in response, he buried his face in the crook of your neck, feeling shy, “I’m sorry you had to witness that.”

Knowing exactly what he meant but not knowing how to respond, you tried to sound as unbothered as possible, “What do you mean?”

Daring to look at you again, the apologetic expression in his eyes made weak in an instant, “About some girl thinking it would be okay to cut between us like that.”

Shrugging, you played it cool, knowing he wasn’t at fault, “It’s okay, I guess she was just trying to make sure that we’re not getting too close for her liking.”

With furrowed eyebrows, he shook his head, “If she thinks she could get between us she must be a fucking idiot.”

Laughing, you wholeheartedly agreed with him, “She wouldn’t be the first one to try.”

He gave you a nose scrunch before ruffling his hand through your hair - he knew how much you hated it when he did that but he would never stop, enjoying teasing you way too much, “But in the end, it’ll always be you and me wine-drunk on the couch, I promise.”

Pouting at the lovely words you barely hear from your best friend, you rested your head on his shoulder. He gave you a feeling of comfort like you’re home wherever he is - considering the fact that he was the main character in your childhood it was kind of true, all of your memories connected to home were filled with him, “I doubt your future wife will approve.”

You felt his head resting against yours, his voice low, “She can eat shit if she has a problem with it.”

For a second you didn’t say anything, but then you just had to ask him your burning question despite fearing the answer, “Are you and her serious?”

The way he furrowed his eyebrows said it all, “Don’t you think I would’ve told you if I was serious about someone?”

Of course, he had a point but something made you feel unsure - almost insecure. Jeongguk noticed your sudden shift in behavior, the strong urge to calm you down and make you feel better coming over him, “She’s the girl I was at last Friday when you were over. I didn’t really talk to her after that night. And I doubt I will again after tonight.”

That made you feel a bit lighter, thankful you didn’t have to deal with her again. It’s not like you didn’t want Jeongguk to be happy, you did, you just hated the thought of someone by his side that wasn’t good enough for him. It probably wasn’t fair because deep down you knew that no one would ever be good enough for the golden boy in your eyes, no one except for you.

“I can’t believe she was intimidated by someone like me,” you almost scoffed at the thought, making Jeongguk lift his head, “By me of all people.”

Jeongguk eyed you, confusion written all over his face, “Why wouldn’t she be?”

Thinking about it for a second, you shrugged, “Everyone knows we’ve been friends for years. It should be known by now that I’m not a danger to any of your girls.”

Laughing, Jeongguk shook his head in disagreement, “You’re delusional.”

Playfully, you hit his chest, a grin on your face, “Stop being so mean. Why would call me that?”

Your best friend was smiling brightly, eyes skimming over the nice view of the dark city from the top of the Ferris wheel that was currently standing still, “Because it’s true.”

One thing you always loved about Jeongguk was his smile, it sounded so cliche but it was true - to this day he somehow managed to still look like a boy whenever he was smiling, his big bunny teeth shining, the adorable laugh lines you loved so much forming in his labionasal zone and, your favorite thing about it, the smile always reaching his eyes, the wrinkles around them showing.

“Call me delusional one more time and I’ll end this friendship,” you warned him jokingly, the smile on his face only increasing more.

“I’m serious though,” he gestured, the atmosphere lighthearted again, “We talked about this before.”

Kind of being at a loss, you gave him a questioning glance, not catching on.

“Of course, girls will be intimidated by the fact that the person I’m most comfortable around is a girl,” he explained, his eyes not once looking away from yours, “Our campus is small and everyone already thinks we're dating. What do you think why no guy that knows me ever hits on you?”

It kind of made sense, yet once again Jeongguk seemed to be right and you disliked the fact that it was so logical.

He let out a laugh as he saw your mind working, realizing that he got a point, “I thought you were the clever one from us.”

Throwing a death glare at him, you shook your head, “You know literally every single guy on campus. Thanks for being such a cockblock.”

Snickering, he shrugged lightly, “Be happy, if it wasn’t for me you might have ended up on Taehyung’s endless list of random hook-ups.”

The situation between the two of you cooled down fastly again and for the rest of the evening, you could at least forget about your newest realization - at least until the two of you were standing in front of your door and the hug he gave you just felt a bit too good in your opinion. You suddenly started to hate how much he acted like a boyfriend towards you, knowing he had always been like this around you, twelve years of friendship and he always insisted on taking you home but now, that you might have started to like him it felt a bit overwhelming.

As you were in bed, trying to fall asleep you couldn’t stop picturing his stupid, proud grin as he won you a Minion plush, knowing you’d absolutely hate it, his fragrance in your nose, the way his hug felt so warm and comfortable still making you feel dense - this was getting out of hand.

You remember telling Irene that you would only drink one or two beers and nothing more and Irene agreeing with you, just wanting a girls night out again. All of this was not part of the plan - you didn’t plan to get completely wasted to a point where even holding up your own head was a challenge. 

But still, there you were, in the dorm of Irene’s boyfriend, sitting on the kitchen table with your head in your hands. It’s not like you didn’t have fun, if you were honest you might have had a bit too much fun - it was hard for you to catch a clear thought, a thousand different ones swimming around in your head. You remembered that you had to call Namjoon in the morning to tell him something but you couldn’t grasp what exactly you wanted to tell him. You thought about your last exam next week, feeling bad because you should be learning instead of trying to sober up in someone’s kitchen. 

Another thought came to your mind, making you feel like throwing up - Jeongguk. Even now when you were drunk you tried to tell yourself that you were overthinking the whole flirting going on between the two of you, blaming yourself for being too careless with your friendship.

“Hey, (y/n), are you okay?” you heard a sweet voice and were sure that you knew the voice from somewhere but couldn’t identify it, too lazy and tired to open your eyes to check who was in front of you.

“I’m alright, I guess,” you answered sloppily, forcing yourself to open one eye to see no one else than Jeongguk’s roommate Jimin in front of you, a big grin on his face - he tried hard not to laugh at your clearly fucked-up state.

“You don’t seem alright,” he laughed, sitting down on the kitchen table right next to you, his arm wrapping around your waist to support you, “Just how much did you drink?”

“Obviously too much,” you scoffed at his stupid question, making him laugh once again.

“Still as snappy as always,” he nagged you, putting your arm around his shoulder, trying to make you stand up, “Good to know you’re still the same, even completely wasted.”

“What are we doing, Jimin?” you asked him, your eyes falling shut again.

Forcing yourself to follow Jimin, you were now standing, pretty sure that if Jimin would stop supporting you you’d fall, “I’m bringing you to our dorm.”

“Why?” you glared at him, not liking the idea of leaving already, “I’m fine, I just need to sober up a bit, I promise.”

“Jeongguk will kill me if I leave you here in your current state,” Jimin insisted lovingly but stern enough to leave no room for discussions.

You rolled your eyes at the mention of your best friends’ name, not wanting to think about him, “Jeongguk can kiss my ass.”

“I’m sure he’d love that,” Jimin replied to your comment and deep inside you were thankful for him taking care of you. Usually, you could hold your liquor way better, so you had no idea why you were so out of it tonight, barely noticing anything around you.

As Jimin was carrying you inside of his dorm, Jeongguk was just stepping out of the shower and judging by the fact that it was in the middle of the night, Jimin was sure he had someone over earlier. 

“How was the party?” he heard his friend screaming from the bathroom as he sat you down on the couch. You already fell asleep in his arms - as soon as you knew you were getting home safe you started to feel tired, asking Jimin if it was okay if you closed your eyes and he let you sleep, giving you a piggyback ride back to the dorm.

“It was fine,” he answered unbothered, trying to untie your shoes as Jeongguk walked into the living room.

“Did you bring someone home?” he asked in a celebrating tone, no idea yet who the girl on his couch was.

As he came over to his friend and saw your face his jaw dropped slightly, trying to put one and one together.

“What’s going on?” he asked his friend, his voice stern, “Why were you with (y/n)?”

As if Jeongguk wasn’t upset enough already to see Jimin bring you home, completely passed out, Taehyung came out of his room, curious to what was going on.

Jimin scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief, “I was just taking care of your drunk best friend, you’re welcome.”

Rolling his eyes, Jeongguk bit his lip, “I’m sorry, it’s just,” he started, looking at your figure on his couch for a second - he hated seeing you like this, “Nothing happened between you, right?”

Jimin’s eyes widened, trying not to laugh at the question he was just asked, “You think I’d make out with your girl? Seriously?”

Jeongguk threw his hands in the air, offended, “She’s not my girl.”

Both of them were distracted when they heard Taehyung facepalming himself from behind them, “Jeongguk, let’s go to the kitchen and sit down.”

Jimin and Jeongguk gave each other a questioning glance, wondering what Taehyung wanted but followed him wordlessly. 

Taehyung let out a deep and long sigh, rubbing his temple as he stared at Jeongguk who was now sitting opposite from him.

“What’s bothering you?” Jeongguk asked his closest friend, confusion written all over his face. What could be so important at three in the morning that couldn’t wait until the next day?

Scoffing, Taehyung shook his head in disbelief, “Are you completely blind?”

Still not being able to follow, Jeongguk started to get defensive, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “Can you just tell me already?”

“You’re standing here in our living room, obviously upset at the thought of Jimin and (y/n) getting it on and then have the nerve to act like you’re not completely smitten for her?”

The confusion in Jeongguk’s face vanished within a second, being replaced by annoyance, “I’m not going through this with you again, Taehyung. We’ve been friends for twelve years. How often do I have to repeat that for you?”

Now, Jimin started to get involved in the discussion, taking Taehyung’s side, much to Jeongguk’s dislike, “Friends can fall in love too, you know that.”

Giving Jimin a pleading glance, as if he was begging him to take his side just for once, Jeongguk pouted, “Not her and me. It can’t happen to us.”

Taehyung was still busy rubbing his temples as if his friend was giving him the biggest headache he ever experienced, “It can and it is happening to you, please stop acting like it’s not. Guk, I see the eyes you’re making at her wherever we are.”

“And not to be like that, but that girl you’re seeing looks suspiciously similar to (y/n),” Jimin threw into the conversation and deep down Jeongguk knew he was right, he realized certain similarities between you and her too.

But Jeongguk decided to stay stubborn, afraid of his own feelings, “The thought of Jimin and (y/n) just upset me because I don’t want things to be awkward when she comes over if it wouldn’t work out.”

Neither Taehyung nor Jimin believed him for a second, “So, you’re saying if Jimin and (y/n) would be a real couple, you wouldn’t mind?”

Shrugging, he scoffed, not wanting to think about those kind of scenarios at all. It would simply be weird for his friends to date, not because he had feelings for you or anything, it just wouldn’t fit, “If he makes her happy, why not?”

Taehyung’s hand run through his hair, having to collect everything in him to not rip it out then and there. How could someone be so damn stubborn? He loved Jeongguk to death but if this boy didn’t realize he was in love sooner or later he couldn’t promise not to hurt him, “Because you have feelings for her, you absolute idiot.”

“So, what if I do?” Jeongguk’s voice suddenly became louder, not having Taehyung’s behavior anymore and Taehyung felt relieved, finally having him where he wanted, out of his constant denial, “Do you think I’d just risk my longest and closest friendship because of some stupid feelings?”

Anxious, Jeongguk looked over his shoulder to see if you were still asleep, afraid that you could hear his emotional outburst, his voice becoming quieter, “It’ll pass. Sooner or later.”

His best friend’s hand found his shoulder, squeezing it lightly, “Just don’t regret not confronting her about it someday.”

Calming down again, Jeongguk furrowed his eyebrows, “What do you mean? Why would I regret it?”

Then, Taehyung spoke the words out loud that Jeongguk was too afraid to think, “What if it doesn’t pass?”

Not wanting to deal with this idea, Jeongguk stood up from the table, excusing himself, “I’m absolutely not ready to think about that, please understand.”

Walking over to where you were sleeping, he studied you for a few seconds, a sudden wave of anxiety rushing over him. This needed to pass - he already flirted with you too much, already gave you too many hints, if you wanted him too, you would’ve reacted differently, right?

How frustrating it was for him, out of all the people his dumb self had to fall for the only person he shouldn’t be in love with. But Taehyung was right, he could deny it as much as he wanted, it was still true. And how couldn’t he fall for you, with a face like that and a personality that no one could ever compare to? 

He had to force himself to stop staring at you before he did something stupid like trying to kiss you - you looked so peaceful, the thought of not having you around hurt his heart. 

That night, Jeongguk fell asleep with you on his mind, not able to fight the feelings any longer, no idea that a few nights ago you were in your bed, dealing with the same problem.

Jeongguk got it bad for you and he hated himself for it, feeling like a complete idiot to bring feelings into this friendship.

When you woke up your head was spinning and your mouth was dry. It took you a second to come to your senses, forcing yourself to sit up on the couch you slowly recognized. Why were you at Jeongguk’s place? You don’t remember seeing him yesterday. 

Studying the room in need of anything that would make you remember last night's events a smile found its way to your face as you saw the bottle of water and aspirin on the table beside the couch, right next to it a little note.

‘Good morning you drunkard. This is for you. God knows you need it.’

Thankful for Jeongguk taking care of you, you fastly took the pill and downed the water in one go, your body feeling at least a little bit better.

The clock on the wall said it was currently ten in the morning and you wondered where everyone was - you doubt the boys would be out early on a Sunday morning.

And just as you wanted to get up and search for your best friend, he came walking right through the door, looking comfortable in his sweatpants and thick hoodie. 

“(Y/n), you were great last night,” he smirked at you as he let himself fall right to the space beside you.

“Shut up, you idiot,” you laughed at his attempt of trying to fool you.

Gasping a bit, he glanced at you with wide eyes, “You don’t remember? I had no idea you were into that stuff, I’m glad I found out though.”

There was no way he was being serious right? You cursed yourself for not being able to remember anything from last night. Normally, you wouldn’t believe Jeongguk a single word but he sounded convincing and god knows what your drunk ass did, now that you started to look at Jeongguk in another way than before.

Your stomach was turning, not wanting to believe him, “Stop fucking with me. I’m too hungover for your teasing.”

He rubbed his temples, his eyebrows furrowing, “I’m sorry to tell you but I’m serious. I didn’t know you had an underboob tattoo, when did you get that?”

If you didn’t feel sick before, you definitely did now. Running your hands through your hair you wanted to rip them out, “Don’t tell me we had sex with each other, Jeongguk. Please.”

“I can’t believe you can’t remember,” Jeongguk shook his head before a sly smile crept onto his lips, “Should I refresh your memory?”

Whining, your leg kicked him away from you, “You little shit, stop it right now and tell me you’re just kidding.”

Finally letting out the laugh he tried to hide the whole time, he rubbed the spot you just kicked him, “Do you think I’d fuck you when you’re that wasted and then let you sleep on the couch?”

You let out a relieved sigh, ready to murder your best friend, “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

Jeongguk was enjoying the whole situation a bit too much for your liking, his grin glued to his face, “I’m a bit offended you think having sex with me would be that terrible.”

Your glare left him unbothered, “How do you know about my tattoo?”

In an instant, his ears turned red, “You were too drunk to change so I helped you.”

Until then you didn’t even realize that you indeed were wearing clothes that didn’t belong to you, the thought of Jeongguk seeing you almost naked making you feel embarrassed in an instant.

“I didn’t try anything, did I?” you carefully asked, fearing the answer.

He shook his head heavily, “No, no, don’t worry. You passed out as soon as Jimin brought you home.”

Jimin? That piece of information was new to you, your eyes widening in an instant again, “There was nothing between us, right?”

Chuckling at how panicked you were, Jeongguk immediately calmed you down, telling you that you should stop worrying, “He’d be dead by now if he tried anything.”

With squinted eyes, you glanced at him, “You’re acting like an overprotective brother.”

“More like a boyfriend, if you ask me,” you heard Jimin’s angelic voice from behind you, turning around to see him standing in the door, “Glad to see you’re still alive.”

Chuckling, you nodded, “Glad to see that you’re still alive too and Jeongguk didn’t kill you.”

Shrugging, a teasing smile directed towards Jeongguk was plastered on his face, “It’s not like he didn’t want to as he saw me bringing you home.”

Playfully, you poked his side, “Jealous, Jeongguk?”

Jeongguk’s face turned red, not liking the situation at all, afraid that Jimin would say anything you weren’t supposed to know, “Just be quiet and get ready, I’m taking you out to breakfast.”

Not able to hide a last teasing comment, Jimin poured himself some coffee in the kitchen, “Sounds like a date to me.”

You certainly wouldn’t mind a date with Jeongguk. What you didn’t know is that neither would he.

Were you in the mood to go to this stupid party? No. Was this reason enough to convince Namjoon to not go and just stay home instead? Absolutely not.

You were honestly still trying to recover from your hangover from last weekend, not ready to even smell alcohol again but you knew you had no choice. 

The only good thing about all of this was that you could finally see your best friend again tonight. The week was busy and even though you talked on the phone a lot you didn’t manage to meet, despite telling each other that you missed being together every single day.

It might be delusional of you but you felt like Jeongguk’s behavior towards you changed since last weekend. Of course, you might just misinterpret the situation but somehow he seemed to be more clingy, maybe even a bit more affectionate. Not that you were complaining.

“No way,” Namjoon shook his head heavily as you asked him to just turn around even though you were already in front of the big entrance to the house the party was going on in, “We’re going, it’s the last big party this term and attending it is mandatory.”

The sky only turned dark about twenty minutes ago and somehow, the whole garden already was full of red cups and people making out in the corners. How cliche.

As you entered the door, the hallway was already filled with tons of people, most of them you’ve never seen before - if you were honest, you weren’t even sure who this house belonged to and you preferred smaller gatherings with close friends to get drunk but if it made Namjoon happy, you’d certainly try your best fo have fun.

“You know how we’re going to do it, right?” Namjoon asked you for the hundredth time today, “As soon as we see Lia you call her over, start a conversation and then leave us alone because you have to look for Jeongguk.”

Amused, you nodded, “Namjoon, we’ve gone over this so often, I probably will remember the plan until the day I die.”

He chuckled, a bit too excited, “I’m just nervous.”

It warmed your heart to see him so giddy, if anyone of your friends deserved to fall in love it was Namjoon, “I’m pretty sure she likes you too. I see the way she eyes you in class. I’ll include this little story in my speech at your wedding.”

“Kim Lia,” he thought about it for a small second, “Sounds good to me.”

The two of you were on your way to the kitchen, both needing booze to get into the right mood - and luckily, the kitchen was way less crowded than the living room that was currently used as the main floor.

“What about you, though, Jeon (y/n). Like the sound of it?”

Scoffing loudly, you poured some liquor into one of the red cups, “Don’t even make me think about it, it’ll only complicate things.”

“The only thing complicating anything is the two of you not wanting to admit you have the hots for each other,” Namjoon kept bugging you with this topic for weeks now - just like everyone around you, “Everyone notices it except for you.”

“Stop it,” you almost yelled at him, knowing he won’t shut up about it, “Do you want me to help you with Lia or not?”

Immediately shutting up, he gave you an innocent smile and filled his cup up too, clinking it with yours, “Cheers.”

After fastly downing your first mixture of Whiskey and Coke, you filled your cup up again, ready to go into the battlefield of a dancefloor in the living room, on a mission to get Namjoon laid. 

The two of you were still too sober, compared to the other people dancing around you but it wasn’t awkward at all - you enjoyed Namjoon’s company, always. You were more worried about the time you had to leave his side because he needed some alone time with his crush. 

You caught yourself looking around for Jeongguk, your eyes scanning the whole room and your search didn’t go unnoticed, Namjoon giving you a skeptic glance before coming down to your ear, his voice almost screaming because otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to understand him over the loud music, “We all know who I’m looking for but I bet you’re looking for a man with long hair with a charming aura and dreamy eyes?”

Rolling your eyes you hated how accurate that was, “I’m not in love with him, Namjoon.”

The expression on his face showed that he wasn’t believing you for a single second, “I talked to Taehyung last week. He said that Jeongguk is just as desperately in love with you, so just go for it.”

Butterflies came flying to your stomach and you wanted to kill each and every one of them, still not used to the fact that you saw Jeongguk as more than a friend. You weren’t denying it anymore, at least not to yourself, but that didn’t change the fact that you disliked it so much. 

You disliked nothing more than how much you wanted Jeongguk to hold you, kiss you, like you back. Actually, there was one thing you disliked even more: the fact, that you weren’t sure if Jeongguk thought similar of you or not, his mixed signals making you go insane slowly.

“What do you mean, you and Taehyung talked about it?” you asked him sharply, not believing the betrayal.

Your friend put his hands in the air, pleading not guilty, “He came to me and asked about your thoughts on Jeongguk.”

Throwing your head back in frustration, you whined, “And let me guess, you told Tae that I like Jeongguk?”

Amused at your misery, he let out a laugh, “Of course, I would never lie to someone, you know that.”

“I’m going to murder you, Kim Namjoon,” you warned him through gritted teeth but before you could actually act on your anger, his eyes grew wide.

“Lia, she’s coming towards us,” he sounded like he was about to faint and you told him to breathe, deciding that you could still kill him later.

It took only about three minutes until you were unnecessary to the conversation, excusing yourself to leave and barely getting a response because Namjoon and Lia were so immersed in their conversation, they almost didn’t notice you were saying something. Good for them.

But where were you supposed to go now? You studied the room, hoping to find anyone you could cling on, preferably Jeongguk or Irene but neither of them were around. 

A few seconds later, you found your second-best option: Taehyung, Aleena and Jimin, standing on a tall table, a bottle of booze in the middle. They welcomed you with big hugs and your mood lifted in an instant. It was nice seeing Taehyung and Aleena were still together, all the other girls around probably disappointed that they weren’t the ones who were able to tame Taehyung.

“Looking stunning as always,” Jimin gave you a small wink as he eyes you from up and down, the harmless compliment boosting your ego immediately.

Taehyung let out a sigh, joking as he hugged you, “Stop flirting with your mate’s girl, Jimin. We’ve been over this.” 

“Not flirting,” Jimin chuckled.

“Also, not your mate’s girl,” you replied to Taehyung’s comment.

Filling your empty cup with booze for you, he shook his head, “How is living in delulu-land going for you?”

Deciding to ignore Taehyung’s snarky remark, you thanked him for the drink and downed it with them, ready to have a fun night. Maybe Namjoon was right and the evening was not going to be as bad as you thought it would be.

Still, there was one burning question in the back of your mind, “Where is Jeongguk by the way? Isn’t he here yet?”

Jimin and Taehyung gave each other a short glance, you were not able to read it but they were definitely communicating with their eyes before Jimin answered you, “We came together but lost him on the way.”

Deciding, not to be too nosy about it you accepted their answer without questioning it, “You’ll have to deal with me then until he finds me, I’m sorry.”

Luckily they didn’t seem to mind. It was nice to know that Jeongguk’s friends were so welcoming and warm towards you, almost as if you have been in their friend group since forever. 

It didn’t take long for Aleena and you to bond over the girl you both hate and share a class with, happy to hear that you weren’t the only one who disliked her.

“She’s not all that bad,” Jimin dared to interrupt your gossip, only to gain a disapproving glance form Aleena.

“You just want to get into her pants,” Taehyung argued, “Even I agree that she’s kind of annoying.”

Aleena high-fived her boyfriend, making Jimin roll his eyes.

“You’re just taking your girlfriend’s side,” Jimin teased his friend lovingly, “You were so much more fun when you were still single.”

But you didn’t pay attention to their bickering anymore, not being able to focus on anything, busy feeling your heart break into pieces slowly and painfully as your eyes found Jeongguk on the other side of the room.

Your breathing became heavy and standing was difficult because of how dizzy you felt, your stomach turning around, leaving you feel like you were about to puke from the sight you were currently eyeing. This couldn’t be true. But no matter how often you blinked, as soon as you opened your eyes you saw the same sight again and again.

Time was passing slower, almost in slow-motion as you noticed Jeongguk walking inside, his hair all over the place, fingers busy fumbling on the upper button of the white button-up he was wearing. He looked as handsome as ever but sweaty, no one else but the girl you met at the fair walking inside behind him, you didn’t even want to think of her name. 

Your heart sting as you thought back to the night you met her, remembering Jeongguk’s words, telling you not to worry about her. 

You tried to concentrate on yourself, your hands were shaking, not sure if it was because of the anger or sadness building up inside of you, probably a mixture of both, your legs feeling wobblier by each second. You felt weak. You felt tired. 

And that is why you don’t fall in love with your best friend - to protect yourself from that exact feeling.

If you could, you would vanish right now, not wanting to exist anymore to avoid feeling like this, not sure if anything ever hurt you the way this sight did right now. You felt stupid, a wave of self-hate coming over you for being so naive to even think that a small part of him could like you back. 

The two of you were friends, nothing more. It was always like that, why would it change suddenly?

In that moment, you didn’t notice anything around you, everything else irrelevant, almost as if time stopped completely - gulping, you realized that you and Jeongguk could never go back to what you used to have because you were stupid enough to bring feelings into this.

Just as you thought it couldn’t get worse his eyes met yours, already starring at him and you were sure your eyes were filled with pain. He noticed immediately, his expression almost pleading you to let him explain, pain was written all over his features - as soon as he spotted you he seemed sorrowful, gloomy, even worried but you were sure in comparison to you, he still would look happy.

He knew what was going on.

The longer your eyes focused on each other, the more uncomfortable you felt - but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away, the thoughts of what had just happened between them haunting you. Even if you knew he did nothing wrong, he wasn’t yours after all, you wanted to cry as soon as the thought filled up your mind.

Someone’s hands held your shoulders, making you snap back to reality as you realized that Jimin tried to make you look away, the torture on your face not going by unnoticed by him.

Not able to say what you were thinking, Taehyung got a hang of what was going on, spotting Jeongguk on the other side of the room, Jennifer right by his side, also slowly understanding what, or better said who, Jeongguk was starring at, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

“This asshole,” you heard Taehyung mumble under his breath, thankful for hearing him say that, “I’ll kill him.”

It felt like you were glued to the floor, not able to say anything because tears were building in your eyes, making you feel even more pathetic. But as soon as you saw Jeongguk strutting towards you, his pained expression becoming more intense by each second you knew you had to act quick.

You had two options: Staying right where you are and risking crying in front of everyone or fleeing to cry in peace on the toilet. You glanced at Taehyung, panic in your eyes as you decided to go with the second option, “Please, stop him from coming after me, I need a second.”

And with that you were turning around, fast pace towards the nearest restroom you could find, locking the door behind you. 

Breathing in, breathing out. And in, and out again. Repeating this over and over until you calmed down, proud of yourself for not crying.

Jeongguk didn’t owe you anything, he did nothing wrong, he only playfully flirted with you every now and then, platonic and you let it get to your head. He could sleep with whoever he wanted. It was not worth ruining your friendship.

You tried to tell yourself those facts over and over again until you started to actually believe them. Knowing that Taehyung could only keep him away from you for so long, you felt pressured to pull yourself together. What were you even supposed to say once Jeongguk found you? He had no idea that you liked him and now was certainly not the time to tell him. 

The first knock on the bathroom door made you freeze in your spot. Another deep breath, calming yourself down a bit.

“Please, let me in,” the voice of your best friend sounded desperate over the muffled music you could hear blasting from the living room.

Knowing, it would be stupid to ignore him because in the end, you had to open the door for him sooner and later and it would only get more awkward the longer you waited, you opened it for him, a relieved sigh escaping his mouth as soon as he saw you.

In a rush, he came in and closed the door behind you - he still was worried, his wrinkled forehead giving him away. Standing right before you, he held your arms in his hands, making you look at him, “I know this sounds like such a douchebag sentence but you have to believe me, it’s not what it looks like and I can explain.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Guk,” your voice luckily didn’t betray you and you were impressed with how cool you sounded, as if you didn’t just almost lost your mind. But you meant it, it was the truth - he didn’t have to explain it to you, “you literally don’t owe me anything, don’t worry.”

Biting his lip, he shook his head, “I owe you everything and I am worrying.”

His eyes were starring into yours as if he was searching for something in them and before you knew what was happening, he wrapped his arms around you, embracing you tightly. His hands pressed your head against his chest, lightly caressing your hair, “Can we please go to my dorm?”

“Why?” you asked quietly, not knowing what exactly was going on. Jeongguk’s reaction to your reaction confused you even more and you wondered just how weird this evening could possibly get.

“Please,” he just whispered, begging you to come with him - so you agreed and without exchanging another word, the two of you were on your way out, ignoring everyone else as you were leaving.

“Don’t you want to say goodbye?” you asked him carefully, almost afraid of the way he was rushing you. What in the world was going on?

Shaking his head once again, he handed you his jacket as soon as you were stepping outside, telling you to wear it even though his dorm luckily was only a five-minute walk away, “It’s okay, I’ll see them at home later.”

Not able to keep up with his fast steps, you held onto his arm to slow him down and he immediately walked slower, letting you keep up with him.

“We didn’t have sex,” he blurted out, the whole situation seemingly stressing him out even more than you. Under any other circumstances, you probably would’ve chuckled at his nervousness but you still felt too tense, your heart heavy as if it could just fall out any second.

Gulping, your eyes were glued to the stars in the sky, afraid to look into his eyes, “It wouldn’t have been the first time, it’s alright.”

It didn’t feel alright to you but it had to be.

“It wouldn’t be alright,” he insisted and you were too tired to think about how exactly he meant that, just wanting this day to be over, “I wanted to talk to her to end things, ask Taehyung, I told him about ending it today. But then she tried to change my mind and started to touch me, that’s why my hair looked like that and she tried to undress me but I told her I’m not interested in her.”

If it was any other guy you probably would think he was just lying, the typical excuses coming out of his mind - but he wasn’t any guy. He was your best friend and you were certain he never lied to you before, except last weekend when he tried to convince you you had sex, and even if he tried to you’d look right through it.

The two of you were standing in front of his dorm now as he was opening the front door for you, “Can you trust me?”

God, if you’d ever tell someone this story they’d think you’re the most naive girl walking on this earth but the man next to you wasn’t only your crush, no, he was also by your side since your childhood days so how couldn’t you trust him.

“I’ll always trust you,” you sighed, “But why are you telling me all this?”

Jeongguk turned on the lights in his living room, mustering you - he seemed to be a bit more relaxed by now, his eyes still burning with questions and a certain neediness but way less pained. As you noticed the deep breath he was taking, you decided to the same.

“Go to my room, okay?” he asked you, chewing on the inside of his cheek, another typical sign of nervousness for him, “I need to call Taehyung, they are probably searching for us. But I’ll be right back and talk to you, promise.” 

Doing as you were told, you walked over to his room, feeling surprisingly fine. You finally had a free minute to think about the overwhelming events of the last thirty minutes - almost embarrassed at how you jumped to conclusions when you saw Jeongguk and Jennifer, you were still relieved that they didn’t have sex. It didn’t matter if he didn’t feel the same way as you did but at least he wasn’t serious about that terrible girl.

What you were still feeling uneasy about though was the weird behavior of your best friend.

It only took him about half a minute until he entered his room, his ears red once again, showing you that he was struggling with his shyness.

“You noticed it too, right?” Jeongguk confronted you as soon as he looked at you, biting his lips, his handsome face full of worries once again. 

Afraid that you might misunderstand the situation, you gulped, “Can you be a bit more specific?”

Your best friend inhaled sharply, rubbing his hands over his face, his whole body tensing. He needed a moment to clear his thoughts, afraid to say the wrong thing but you were willing to give him all the time he needed. 

If this conversation was going to way you thought it was, he had every reason to be nervous, your ribcage felt tight and as if it could rip any second so you could only imagine what your best friend felt like right now, being the one addressing the whole situation. But then, on the other hand, judging your reaction earlier it wasn’t too hard to notice that you had feelings for him.

“There’s a difference in how we act around each other, right?” your best friend finally said, choosing his words very carefully on purpose so he could always play it cool if you rejected him. His ears were red and in any other situation you’d nag him about it but you knew it was inappropriate right now, “The way we talk and the way we touch each other. Even the way we look at each other. Is that just me?”

His last question was filled with sorrow, almost pain even. Jeongguk hated the thought of fucking up your friendship just as much as you, so for him to finally address the tension between you was very brave of him, something you wouldn’t have dared.

The whole situation felt awkward, you wanted it to be over as soon as possible, afraid that saying one wrong thing might end your friendship forever - you were aware that nothing would break your friendship that easily but just the thought of romantic feelings between the two of you was making you anxious. You liked Jeongguk, you wanted to be around him more than usual, you found yourself staring at his lips and his arms and think of him differently - all the signs were clear, you were falling for your best friend, no matter how often you told yourself you were not and you were just lonely. 

You liked Jeongguk - and apparently, he was going through something similar with you too.

“It’s not just you,” you finally manage to answer his question, your voice sounding weak and almost not like yours, “I noticed it too.”

The man on the bed beside you shifted his glance from his feet right to your face after hearing your words, his cheeks red and you were sure so were yours. 

"Thank god,” he mumbled under his breath, relaxing immediately, “I’m going to say something now and it might sound insane but I have to tell you.”

Nodding, your heart beat unbelievably fast, hoping to hear the words you wanted to hear so badly out of his mouth.

“I don’t give a fuck about Jennifer,” he started, the mention of her name making you feel bitter for a short second, “I don’t like her. I like you. It’s bad and stupid but I do.”

You couldn’t help but let out a breathy chuckle, beyond excited to finally know about the feelings of the man standing in front of you, “It is bad and stupid. But I feel the same.”

He let out a scoff as if he couldn’t believe you were having such a conversation, shaking his head a bit confused, “This feels so awkward.”

You chuckled, thankful that he put your feelings into words, “I guess that is what happens when friends suddenly get caught up in another.”

He let himself fall backward, right onto his bed, staring at his ceiling. His hand ran through his hair as he let out the hundredth sigh for today, “I can’t believe we like each other.”

You threw him a glare, rolling your eyes before sarcastically adding, “Don’t be too happy about it.”

A pout formed on his lips, trying to look cute, “That’s not how I meant it, you know that.”

“Well, how did you mean it then?” you asked, a bit hurt at his frustration. It’s not like you thought it was ideal that you two fancied each other but it also wasn’t the worst thing that could’ve happened.

Your best friend moved his hand towards your wrist, as if he wanted to grab it but then stopped himself - only to then grab it nevertheless, pulling you to lay down beside him carefully.

There you were, next to your best friend, figuring out how to go on from here. Your face was turned to look into his, his hand still holding onto your wrist. His hair was messy, hanging in front of his eyes. No question, you preferred this tension over the one that was still hanging in the air about half an hour ago and you couldn’t be more thrilled to finally have him next to you, knowing that your feelings weren’t just one-sided but you never thought about how awkward it would be to finally shift from platonic to actually romantic.

“What do we do now?” he asked, biting his lip but then giving you a helpless laugh, “I’m sorry, I’m nervous about all of this.”

It was at least nice that the two of you could talk openly, even though it was a very weird and unfamiliar situation to both of you, at least you could be honest with each other, not afraid of showing your true feelings.

“How much do you like me?” you asked him, trying to decide on where to go from here. It was such an uncomfortable question to answer but you needed to know, not sure how exactly he felt about you.

He let out a breathy laugh, a shy smirk on his face, “I’ll get flustered talking about it.”

His smile immediately made you relax, smiling back at him, “I’m just trying to figure out if we should act on all of this or just try to ignore it, hoping it’ll go away.”

Jeongguk closed his eyes, not daring to look at you while confessing what he thought, his voice nothing more than a mumble, “I think it’s a bit too much for me to just ignore it. Let’s just say in my head we already told our parents about us.”

Chuckling, the sudden rush of wanting to kiss him overcame you but you stopped yourself - you knew how terrible he was at talking about his feelings, so him saying this must be a big step for him. To reassure him that he had nothing to worry about, you freed your wrist from his grip to interlock your finger with his.

“But if you want to just stay friends I’ll obviously be fine with it, our friendship is way more important than anything and if you feel-”, Jeongguk started to ramble, the pace of his talking become faster by ever word.

“No, that’s not it,” you interrupted him, trying to explain what worried you, “I’m just afraid to lose you.”

Nodding, his thumb drew small circles on the back of your hand, “Do you think I’m not? That’s the risky part about all of this.”

“I tried to trick myself into thinking we’re just friends but I truly want you, Guk,” the words felt risky as they left your lips as if he didn’t just admit he liked you too, the ball in his court now again.

“Good,” his eyes were sparkling and his leg intertwined with yours, his touch burning on you skin, “I don’t think I could go back to being just friends. I will always see you as something more.”

You wanted to hear those words over and over again, hard to believe the unbelievable outcome of this messy night.

“Can you picture that?” you asked him, “You and I, together.”

Jeongguk nodded immediately, not even needing a second to think about your question, “I told you before, I think we could be a strong couple. The possibility was always there.”

“So, it’s settled?” 

He let out a laugh, nodding again, “Do you wanna shake hands to seal the deal or what do we do now?”

Joining his laughter, you shook your head in amusement, “We suck at this.”

“I promise we’ll get better at this over time,” Jeongguk was glowing now, happy, his aura as positive as always. He opened his arms, reaching for your body, giving you a small smirk, “Should we try cuddling?”

You almost snorted at the awkward proposal but didn’t have to let him ask you twice so within seconds your head was resting on his chest, his arms wrapped around you tightly. His heartbeat was surprisingly fast, thank god you weren’t the only one nervous about all of this.

He smelled as amazing as ever and the dim lights in his room were making you feel like you were in heaven even though the whole situation was still feeling a bit odd. You loved the way his arms felt wrapped around you though, definitely wanting to get used to that feeling.

“This is so weird,” you laughed into his chest and you could feel it vibrating when he joined your laughter, “but I like it.”

“Me too,” his voice was soft now, a bit more confident as he carefully played with your hair. It was helpful that you weren’t looking at each other right now, you were sure you’d be as red as a tomato if you had to face him.

For a second, the two of you were just laying there, enjoying each other’s presence in silence, too anxious to say something. It wasn’t as awkward anymore even though you were afraid to move - as soon as you would only a muscle he’d react to it for sure.

But luckily, he moved first, sitting up on his bed and glancing at you, a helpless expression on his face, “I have a suggestion to make.”

“I’m listening,” you reassured him, still lying in his bed, too comfortable to get up as the exhaustion from earlier was brushing off on you.

“I’ll fix us something to eat while you search through Netflix,” he started, waiting for an answer before he continued.

“So far so good,” you gave him two thumbs up, ready to here the rest of suggestion.

“We could try to perfect this whole cuddling thing too if you want to,” he then suggested shyly.

Chuckling at how cute he was, you nodded, “God knows we need some more practice.”

“And as soon as you’re comfortable enough, we could try to talk about all of this,” he gestured between the two of you, “I know it’s weird but I really want to work this out.”

Sitting up and grabbing his remote from the nightstand, you agreed with him, “We’re on the same page, I promise.”

Hearing that from you was enough to boost his confidence a bit, knowing that the awkward tension between you would vanish in no time, once you figured out all the smaller details. 

You watched him as he was walking towards his door, admiring him in a whole new way - Jeongguk was handsome, an impressive body and a face straight from heaven. Of course, you knew all of that before but now that you could finally let those thoughts into your head without feeling weird about them you realized just how much you liked him. You think that those feelings for him might have developed a long time ago, you just never dared to pay attention to them before.

A rush of excitement came over you, looking forward to the new route ahead of the two of you - you’d figure all of this out, you two always did. All the new things you could explore together, as a couple - you couldn’t wait.

Just as he was about to open the door to take care of the food he turned around again, “Do you maybe want some clothes?”

You almost forgot that you were still in your dress, suddenly realizing how uncomfortable it was. 

“Not like I mind having you in my bed in such a pretty dress but it looks pretty uncomfortable,” he explained before you could say anything, a smirk appearing on his lips, “And I bet you’d look good in my clothes.”

“You’re shamelessly flirting, Jeongguk,” you shouted out, both, amused and flustered by his not so subtle attempt.

Defensive, he threw his hands up in the air, “Hey, that’s just what lovers do.”

Lovers. How nice this word sounded when it came out of the right person’s mouth. Before you could agree or deny, he was already rummaging through his wardrobe, searching for clothes you could wear. 

Not even ten minutes later you were back in Jeongguk’s bed, wearing a white oversized shirt and blue boxer shorts with little Maki’s printed on them, your hair in a messy bun while you were scrolling through Netflix, cuddled under Guk’s blanket.

Studying his room, you realized that you barely ever spent time in it, something that was about to change. Usually, the two of you would always chill in the living room because it was bigger, so his room was pretty uncommon to you. It was a bit messy, just like his room back home, except for his desk that was filled with the most expensive gaming utensils, glowing in all possible imaginary LED colors that existed.

A framed picture of the two of you caught your attention, decorating the shelf above his computer. It was one of your favorite pictures, both of you completely wasted, posing in a shopping cart. A warm feeling crept up on you after you realized that this was actually the only framed picture in his whole room.  

The door opened, a big bowl of amazing smelling popcorn in one of his hands, and two big candles in the other one, “Ready to get comfortable?”

You let out a laugh at the sudden use of candles, “You never turned on candles around me before, is this an update?”

Setting down the bowl of popcorn on your lap and getting out a lighter to turn the candles on, he nodded, “I never wanted to impress you before.”

“You don’t have to try to impress me, Jeongguk,” you promised him, “but you’re doing quite a good job at it.”

“Move,” he pointed to the bed without saying anything else about the candles, “I wanna sit behind you if that’s alright.”

Moving a bit more towards the middle of the bed, you waited for him to sit behind you, his legs wrapping around you within seconds, your back leaned back against his chest. You put some of your blanket over him as he got comfortable.

Luckily, this felt less awkward than just twenty minutes ago and you were beyond thankful for it. 

A few seconds later Jeongguk was done positioning himself behind you, his arm wrapped around your stomach, drawing little circles on your exposed skin where your shirt rose up. 

“Is this okay?” he asked unsure, his breath tickling your ear, giving you goosebumps in an instant. 

It was more than okay, you felt secure and safe and at home - a bit surprised too at how easy all of this seemed.

“It’s nice,” your voice was satisfied, your eyes closed as you enjoyed the feeling of being held by him, “I could fall asleep immediately.”

His lips were on your ear, giving it a light peck, goosebumps forming on your body in an instant, “Don’t you dare.”

The whisper made you shiver and you could feel Jeongguk’s grin without having to look at him, happy he had that effect on you. 

About an hour into the movie you were watching, Jeongguk suddenly grabbed the remote and paused it - as you turned your head around to see what he was doing, the boy already looked at you, a concentrated glance on his face.

“What?” you asked him laughing, wondering what was happening.

Shrugging, his hand ran through your hair, eyes full of admiration, “You’re pretty cute. Did I ever tell you?”

Flustered, you playfully hit his chest, “Stop, Guk. You’re making me blush.”

The smile on his face was calm, his eyes not once leaving yours, “You are. Your mum must be proud of the beautiful woman you became.”

Not being used to hearing those kinds of compliments out of Jeongguk’s mouth your face turned red, “If you don’t stop right now, I’ll kick you in the nuts.”

Breaking his loving stare he let out a laugh, nodding understandingly, “I’m sorry, I’ll stop. But you’ll have to get used to it. I won’t hold back anymore.”

“Better not promise anything you can’t keep,” you warned him.

After looking at you for a little longer he stood up out of nowhere, reaching for your hand to help you get up too, “Let’s go and make a warm cup of tea.”

Not knowing where his sudden proposal came from you agreed nevertheless, holding his hand as you walked over to the kitchen, your head leaning against his shoulder. 

“What kind of tea do you want?” he asked you, opening a cupboard with a small variety of different kind of teas.

Before you could choose one yourself, Jeongguk let out a small chuckle, “Stupid question, I know you want strawberry tea anyway, right?”

It was almost heartwarming how automatic Jeongguk started to boil the water, preparing your tea, a domestic feeling you wanted to never go away again.

You were leaning against the counter, just watching him as his eyes met yours, a sly smile on his face when he came closer to you, his hands finding your waist, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m just enjoying the view,” you replied as his right hand cupped your cheek and he came closer once again, his hip connected with yours. Jeongguk seemed taller than usual, it might be the fact that he never stood in front of you like this before but you swear, he never was as tall as today.

“I’ve made you tea before, it’s not like this is a new view for you.”

Agreeing, you nodded your head, “I know but you’ve never made tea as my boyfriend before.”

His forehead leaned against yours as his hand wandered down from your cheek, over your shoulder, softly caressing your arm until it found your hand, linking his fingers with yours before he slowly came closer, both of you anticipating what was about to happen, “Your boyfriend, I like the sound of it.”

Jeongguk’s lips were now just above yours, the thought of the little distance left between you being gone in a few seconds sent butterflies to your stomach.

His scent was already enough to make you feel dizzy, not to mention the burning touch of his hands on your skin or the way his leg found its way between your legs. But all of those things faded into the background as you could finally feel his lips on yours, the soft pressure making your knees feel weak and your heart beat faster.

It started out slow and careful, both of you enjoying the slow approach of seeing how far you could go. His second hand wandered upwards from your hip under your shirt towards your waist, his thumb drawing small circles on your skin.

The kiss started to deepen a few seconds later and the fact that you could feel Jeongguk smiling into the kiss made you want him even more. If only you would have known that kissing him felt this good you had kissed him way sooner.

Your hand played with the nape of his neck, trying to pull him even closer to you as he kissed you with more passion, more pressure, more neediness. His second hand found your waist, carefully pulling you upwards, motioning you to let him lift you up to sit on the counter - and of course, you let him.

So there you were, in the middle of the night, heavily making out with Jeon Jeongguk between your legs, both of his hands busy with your thighs as he freed his lips from yours, just to pepper kisses along your jawline, down your neck right until his lips reached the top of your breasts, both of you not caring about the tea he just made a few minutes ago anymore.

Throwing your head back with closed eyes you enjoyed the feeling of Jeongguk’s attention on your chest a bit too much, not to talk about how you slowly felt his hand moving to the inside of your thighs, slipping them under his pair of boxer shorts you were wearing sneakily.

It all felt too good, afraid of how good this night would actually still become - at least until you both suddenly froze in your place, realizing that your friends suddenly were standing in the room, just coming home from the party the two of you were at earlier.

Eyes wide open, both of you stared at the three of them, all of them staring back at you with wide smirks on their lips.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you heard Taehyung mumble under his breath, not even trying to hide the amusement in his voice, “Did we interrupt something?”

Jimin chuckled, “We clearly did.”

Of course, they wouldn’t let you go that easily after all they were known for being a pain in the ass. 

“Let’s go to my room before they start asking questions,” Jeongguk fastly told you, lifting you up from the counter once again, this time to help you get down.

But Taehyung already had other plans, the shit-eating grin on his face not fading at all, “Not so fast. How did that happen? We expected a lot but not that.”

Now, Taehyung’s girlfriend joined the conversation, “Baby, give them some space. God knows they need some alone time.”

Not letting the two of you get away so easily, Taehyung sat down on the kitchen table, gesturing you to join him, “First I want to know what happened after you left the party.”

Jeongguk threw you an apologetic glance, a small pout on his lips, making you chuckle.

“Guess we have to wait for a bit longer,” you whispered to him as you made your way over to the table.

Nodding, he let out a soft sigh, “Luckily we have all the time of the world.”

After waiting for twelve years you could definitely wait for another hour or two to finally start a new chapter of your life - and boy, were you excited for that chapter.

if you read until here, i wanna say thank you and i hope you enjoyed it. i barely write fics this long so sorry if it is a bit unstructed, i’m still learning! ♥

[autumnleaves1991-blog]

Sleepy Sex Part 12 - Liam (Nikita)

A/N: I’ll be honest I had no idea who Liam was and then my darling friend @yespolkadotkitty​ sent me the link to @dornish-queen​ video of Liam and I read her story and then like the next day @artemiseamoon​ wrote a Liam story and I was like ok I can do this now! You should check them out because they are amazing! Thank you for reading, reblogging, commenting and liking. 

Pairing: Liam x F! Reader 

Warnings: 18 + NSFW (Oral (language, F! Receiving, P in V sex, angst, major character death, gunshot wound, cauterizing a wound, mentions of blood)

Word Count: 2.2K this is the longest of the Sleepy Sex series I have written 

My Masterlist 

The dinner was cold, the candles had flickered out, and you sat dejected on the couch working through the second half of the wine bottle. The television flickered across your face, but the sound was muted. Reaching for the remote, you flicked it off and let out a large yawn, downing the remainder of your glass. You should clean up the mess, put away the leftovers, shower, change your clothes, but your energy was depleted. The hours of waiting for him to come only to be disappointed again was heartbreaking.

You knew who and what he was, but it still didn't lessen the blow each time you wound up disappointed and alone. You kick the door closed behind you and approach the bed peeling back the covers and crawling in. You clutch his pillow close to your face and inhale, but no trace of him is there anyone, just the fresh linen and lavender of your detergent. Liam never left any imprint. There were no photos of him in your home, no extra clothes, or a favorite mug. He was a ghost. He had to be for the life he lived.

No one could know about him either. Your friends, family, colleagues, everyone thought you were going to end up alone, even you thought that yourself most of the time. His work was dangerous; he'd admitted that to you one night after you both realized it was becoming more. More than two people who fucked each other's pain away, more than two people who had an occasional meal together. Just more.

 Liam wasn't one to put a label on things, but you knew you were his person, just as he was yours. The altogether fact making it more gut-wrenching every time he snuck out in the early morning on your fire escape without waking you. The ghost of a kiss on your forehead before you could even open your eyes.

You feel the tears stream down your cheek, and you bite your knuckles hard to prevent the sobs from overtaking. You loved him. You loved a ghost. Eventually, your tears subside enough for you to enter a restless sleep, continually tossing and turning. You dream of the life you want with Liam, something stable and normal. A life where the man you love is not a cold-blooded murderer. You barely hear the sound of the window opening over your tumultuous thoughts.

You keep your eyes shut tight and reach towards the nightstand where you know the knife is hidden. Liam had gotten it for you after he told you what he did, never wanting anyone to harm you because of his life. He'd taught you how to use it, sharpen, clean, and conceal it. The hilt is light in your hand, and you drag it beneath the pillow. 

It could be Liam, you know, but the odds of it being someone else with nefarious intent enters your mind. The bed dips behind you, and you strike quickly. Your arm swinging low to slice open the belly of your possible attacker. Liam's voice ringing in your ears, "aim for an artery or the belly; they will bleed out faster that way."

"Fuck," Liam's voice hisses as he shoots back off the bed and meets your wild gaze. He flicks on the light on the nightstand and looks down at you. Knife poised in your hands the way he taught you and lip between your teeth, hair wild, and panting. "I don't know whether I should be proud or concerned that you almost stabbed me." You put the knife back into the nightstand, and he lowers his hands from the defensive pose.

"You could use the door, you know, like a normal person." He smiles at your annoyed tone and finishes removing his shirt as he had started. You reach forward and place a hand on his torso, "What's this?" Your fingers graze the gauze pad held on with tape, and he sighs.

"I got shot," he says it so casually, like someone telling you about a paper cut at the office.

"What?" Your voice is hollow, and he pulls your hands off him and sits down beside you. "What do you mean you got shot? How could you let someone get that close?"

"Y/N, it's a part of my job. Sometimes people get hurt at work." You feel the rage rise up in your chest, and you pull your hands away from him like a burn.

"You don't have a normal job, Liam. You are an assassin; you kill people. An accident at work for you could be your death. You don't make mistakes, ever. Now tell me what happened?" He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, and scoots back to lay against the headboard.

"It was nothing. Just some old friends who wanted to say hello. Don't worry about it."

You scoff, letting out an unamused chuckle. "Don't worry about it...how can you even say that?" You stand up and pace the floor of your bedroom. "Every single day, all I do is worry about you. You missed dinner again, and you want to know what I thought? That you're dead. You never call, text, hell, I'd be happy with a goddamn smoke signal! Anything to let me know you're okay. That you're alive." You throw your arms up in exasperation, and he watches you with those cold, calculating eyes from the bed.

"Do you want me to leave?" his voice is calm and quiet.

"No. No, I want you to stay with me. Move-in with me, go out to dinner, meet my parents. I want to be with you! Not spend every night wondering where you are. Worried you're being buried in an unmarked grave in the desert with a gunshot wound to the head. I just want you to be with me."

He looks at you, and your hands tremble; he suddenly looks so exhausted. His eyes droop, and his skin becomes pale. "Liam? Baby?" You surge forward and catch him before he falls off the bed, collapsing. You scream for him and lay him on his back, pulling off the bandage soaked with blood. "Shit, shit," you try to think of everything he's taught you, and you notice the knife sticking out of the drawer.

He's bleeding heavily, and you grab the knife and run to the kitchen turning on the flame on the stove. You pull down a bottle of Ever clear and take a quick swig cringing at the burn. You put the knife over the flame and watch it turn red, the flame flickering in your eyes. When it's hotter than hell, you walk quickly back to the bedroom and pour alcohol over the wound.

"I'm so sorry, my love," you whisper and place the knife to his stomach. The smell of burnt flesh fills the room, and he lets out a pained groan as the wound closes. You rush to the bathroom and grab the first aid kit doing your best to give it air before you patch him up.

You pull the chair close to his side of the bed and collapse into it. Holding your head in your hands. His breathing returns to normal, and his face, once scrunched up in pain, softens. You lean forward in the chair and reach for his neck, making sure he still has a pulse, and pull away relieved.

You stay up watching him for hours but eventually fall asleep, your eyes heavy with exhaustion. When you come too, a blanket has been draped over your body. The shadow of a figure is moving beneath it up and down. You clench around the fingers dipped inside you, warmth floods between your legs, and you hear hi sucking as your clit is pulled into Liam's hot mouth.

"Liam," you moan and pull the blanket off, revealing the predator devouring your body. "Baby, what are you doing?"

He doesn't respond, only quickening the pace of his fingers and licking at your pleasure point, making his tongue swirl just the way you like. Who knows how long he's been between your legs but his large hands move your thighs over his shoulders and pulls you closer. The cascade of pleasure erupts, and you're cumming on his tongue as he continues to work you through it. When you're shaking so bad you can barely speak, he lets go and gives you a soft smile from between your thighs.

"I'm thanking you for saving my life," he's quiet, and both of you are lost in one another's eyes. Until he moves up to kiss you softly. "Let me make love to you," he whispers against your lips, and you shake your head no biting on his bottom lip.

"We can't, your stomach," he cuts you off with another kiss before pulling back to your haunches.

"What if you rode me, baby?" You look at him wide-eyed, feeling more awake. Liam was always in control of every aspect of his life, including his sexual one.

You nod slowly as he gets up and lays down on the bed. You carefully straddle his hips taking extra caution not to touch the wound on his stomach. His hands reach forward and line you up with his cock. Guiding you slowly down onto him. You both moan at how well he fills you, the tight warmth of your cunt clenching around him.

He holds on to your hips, and you slowly rise up and almost pulling him out entirely and then impaling yourself down on him. The two of you moving in sync together as you chase down the high of being together. It's impossible to tell where he ends, and you begin both of you connected in such a way beyond the physical.

His eyes bore into yours as you rock faster and move a hand down to rub your clit. The other hand on his chest to brace yourself. "I'm close," he pants, tightening his grip with one hand and slapping away yours as he takes over, rubbing your clit. "I need you to cum with me baby, soak me with those delicious juices."

You feel your high reaching a boiling point, and he takes his hand off your hip and brings it to your chin, forcing you to look at him. The tears in his eyes have you slow down, but he bucks up into you, keeping up the pace. "Hey," he breathes heavy, "I love you." You feel the crash of ecstasy crash into you like the waves upon the sand. Him spilling into you at the same time, painting your walls with his cum.

"Liam," you cry out, "I love you." He smiles so brightly his entire face is illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the window. You fall to his side, being careful of his wound. His arm curls around you and brings you tight to his side, placing his lips on your forehead.

"Sleep," he whispers, "I love you."

"I love you, Liam," you yawn, "so much." Your eyes grow heavy, and everything darkens as you drift off to sleep.

In the morning, the bed is empty and cold. He's been gone for a while, you surmise, and your heart clenches thinking upon his confession. You knew Liam loved you, but that was the last time he'd ever said it. You get up to shower and clean up the mess from last night, knowing that whatever came next, all would be okay because he loved you and knew you loved him back.

****** 

Two days. He'd never gone that long without communication before, and those same feelings of fear begin to grow in the pit of your stomach. The doorbell shocks you out of your stupor, and you run to yank it open. A woman stands there, her arms folded behind her back, and you feel the tension in the air. Whatever she was here for, it wasn't good.

"Are you," she pulls out an envelope with your name on it and reads it to you.

"Yes, what can I do for you?"

"I hate to have to tell you this, but Liam is dead." The world stops spinning. Instead, you are now the dizzy one. Nausea rises in your throat, and you fall back into the apartment and land on the floor. A sob ripping from your throat, the woman stands awkwardly in the doorway. "I know this must come as a shock, but he left something for you." You look up at her in confusion, and she hands you the envelope. You take it from her hands and hold it close to your chest. Inhaling the scent of lavender and linen from your own bedding.

"I'll leave you to grieve. I'm sorry for your loss. I left the card for the medical examiner's office in the envelope if you wanted to make arrangements." She backs out of the door and shuts it disappearing down the stairs.

Your hands shake as you rip open the envelope. Liam's handwriting sticks out amongst the page, the slight curl of his letters. The one thing that was always distinctly him.

My love,

You told me last night that if anything happened to me, you would never know. But if you are reading this, then you'll know it has. I'm not one who can spout poetics and write you long letters filled with my undying love. So I will keep it simple. 

I love you. 

I love you.

 I love you.

I want you to live your life. Fall in love, get married, buy the house, make babies, and forget me. I'm gone.

But for the moments, I was on this earth. I loved you, and only you.

Goodbye, my love,

Liam

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