#20-30 years. 4 those wondering

[twilightarcade]

OC-tober day 11 - hot cocoa palette!

[roboticchibitan]

I used to work at JoAnn's and let me give you a tip. Don't buy fabric there if you can help it. It's overpriced low quality crap. You can absolutely find fabric for just as cheap online and if you're a "have to touch it before I know if I'll hate it or not" person lots of online places sell samples.

Case in point: Robert Kaufman Kona solids. I've seen claims online that the Kona solid quilting cotton, which is the highest quality quilting cotton solids JoAnn's sells, is different and lower quality than the Kona cotton you can get at a quilt shop. I can't speak to the validity of those claims but I 100% would not be surprised if it were true. But let's set that aside and just see how JoAnn's prices measure up.

As you can see, the regular price at JoAnn's is $9.99. The regular price at this random quilting online store I spent 20 seconds on duckduckgo to find is $7.95. Sure, the sale price is 15¢ cheaper at JoAnn's. But JoAnn's is constantly playing this "our fabrics are cheap because they're on sale! Don't look at how much they regularly cost anywhere else" psychological warfare game which I do NOT appreciate.

I'm sure if you looked harder than the 20 seconds I spent on duckduckgo you could find Kona cotton for cheaper than JoAnn's has it and you wouldn't have to wonder about the quality claims. And all their fabric is like this. Maybe a decade ago it was a good deal but now? There's a reason they've gone bankrupt.

Just because I could, I compared fabric wholesale direct's price for solid color polyester Jersey knit fabric, which is regularly priced at $5.99 and is currently on sale for $5.09. JoAnn's comparable fabric starts again at $9.99/yard and that fabric is currently on sale for $6.99. There are 10 colors of the JoAnn's $6.99 fabric and 45 colors of the FWD $5.09 fabric FWD does free shipping over $99 and flat rate shipping at $7.95 for anything below that. Depending on how much you buy, you'll potentially be paying the same or less for the FWD fabric and 1. It's probably higher quality and 2. There's 4 times as many color options.

JoAnn's is good for if you need less than a yard and have the time and ability to go to the store in person. And yeah, if you're shopping in person, you don't have to pay shipping. But the quality of all their fabric is low and the "sale" prices are around the same as a place with higher quality fabric.

I buy embroidery floss and thread at JoAnn's cuz embroidery floss is cheaper in person than on DMC's website and you can't trust product photos of thread to be color accurate. And I buy sewing notions there sometimes cuz it's convenient. But even the scissors I spent $30 on there a decade ago (who knows how much they are now) were $17 at Walmart when I lost the first pair and had to replace them 4 years later.

Also they treat their employees like shit and currently no one besides store managers gets health insurance through them because the only full time position in their stores is the store manager. And even before the bankruptcy they shortstaffed and did everything in their power to avoid paying for benefits and overtime. It was the worst job I ever had and that's saying something because I worked at Walmart and had a "this creepy guy went to JAIL over what he did to me" experience there.

[31-daysofhorror]

It's 31 Days of Horror 2024!

Welcome to the fifth annual 31 Days of Horror writing challenge!

For those of you who have not done this challenge before it's simple. This is a horror writing challenge that takes place during the month of October. For each day you'll take the corresponding prompt and write a horror short story to go with it. You can then take your wonderful creations and post them with the tag #31DOH2024 so others can see what you wrote for the day!

There are three whole years of short stories you can go check out under the tags #31DOH2023, #31DOH2022, and #31DOH2021

If you have any questions check out the FAQ or feel free to reach out via an ask.

Happy writing!

[List ID: 1 Distraught 2 Bid 3 Riddle 4 Chance 5 Clutch 6 Unlocked 7 Answer 8 Missing 9 Spin 10 Briar 11 Dialup 12 Consult 13 Print 14 Restless 15 Needle 16 Breach 17 Pane 18 Click 19 Hunter 20 Cruise 21 Fog 22 Imposter 23 Generated 24 Sleep 25 Highway 26 Loose 27 Steps 28 Blog 29 Clover 30 Whisper 31 Close]

[margareth-lv]

⛓️ When art and life become one ⛓️

I believe fairy tales have a great deal of therapeutic power. And there's nothing quite like a good story.

As I’ve written here a few times before, I first started watching Outlander in 2020 – a challenging year for us all. At that time, we all needed a good story to take our minds off reality. And to move into the catharsis that art offers. You can imagine my excitement when I realised that two actors (who were so obviously in love) playing the characters in the story were born around the same time as the characters they were playing.

James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser, born on 1 May. Sam Roland Heughan, born on 30 April. Both Taurus, just like me. Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser, born on 20 October. Caitríona Mary Balfe, born on 4 October. Both Libra.

And, as you might expect, in both the play and real life, she is older than he is. Isn't it wonderful how things just fall into place sometimes? There’s always something to ponder, think about and enjoy.

But it's been a while since we've seen joy in "enjoy." The Taylor Swift concert is the exception that proves the rule, here.

I'm getting tired of the low-level storytelling we've been presented with for a while now. This story is the worst of the worst. It’s a pretty poor selection of C, D, and E cinema.

And it's pretty sad how two people, who literally built their relative public recognisability on being the 'hottest couple on the screen', are now pathetically role-playing their supposed 'real love lives'. And neither of them succeeds. They're also pretty weak actors in their roles of romantic lovers (I'm thinking mainly of Sam here). Let me just say that they're not pathetic only when they're together. *** *** *** When I saw the blurry, embarrassing footage from this weekend's Giorgio Armani Tennis Classic (tagged #ad on Sam's Instagram), my first thought was that it was a spectacle for us, our Tumblr fandom. There's no one else who would be interested in something you have to look for with a magnifying glass, zooming in, spending long minutes stopping frames of film. Then I got reminded about the Wimbledon Tennis Championships back in July 2019 and another poor performances by 'bride' and her 'groom' a month before their 'wedding'.

Do you remember those pictures?

First wife, second wife, Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser and Laoghaire MacKenzie, I mean, Evie Greenwood, a primary teacher.

You know, realism and art all blend together.

We first saw this kind of kissing being reduced to sucking on the partner's upper lip in what we were forced to think was Sam’s ‘real life’, and then we saw the same thing on screen.

And what about Sam's somewhat embarrassing performance in The Couple Next Door? Which other actor in that film has exposed themselves so much (and so pointlessly), in a literal sense?

How many of us thought Sam's performance in the erotic scenes in TCND was not sexy at all, but disgusting?

I did.

Wasn't that display of Sam's rhythmically moving buttocks as distasteful as his other performance a few weeks ago?

Seriously, I would never want my husband/partner/father of my children to behave like this. There's no money worth it. But maybe there is.

Sometimes I feel sorry for them, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I remind myself of how jealous Cait can be.

How on earth do they manage to live like that?

[3 July, 2024]

[o0o0thorn0o0o]

Late, I know, but…! Only by two days, so I’ll still label/tag it:

Ichihime Week, Day 7: Mythical Lovers / Rainbow

I was planning on adding in magpies in the background this time, but I was getting lazy, and it’s already late, so maybe next time ^^;

(Also I was thinking of making a rainbow version, but it didn't come out as I would have liked? Idk. I still think it’s cute, though, so I put it under the cut)

Alrighty, listen: I really didn’t mean to wait this long to post. But, like, very shortly after Eid, my iPad’s storage filled up, like, to the point I couldn’t even access my mail (that’s how I found out, pfft). I was wondering why I’d ever need 256 GB 4 years ago… but still, it was $100 extra bucks. Sure, it was a grad gift, but 128 GB was expensive enough—still a lot of storage, too… Not enough, clearly!

Hoarding layers (and recoloring my own art, pfft) has really caught up to me… but also, it wouldn’t help too much if I didn’t either. After deleting what I could bear to part with, that took away around 5 GB, but merging layers in other works barely made a dent.

So I’ve spent these past few weeks wondering what to do, thinking about emailing my 2019 (imported from my 5s) and 2020 works to an email I also created 4 years ago for some reason I totally forgot about and never used so that I don’t end up taking any space in my actual one and then uploading them onto two (since I really don’t want my files corrupting) USBs via my laptop, trying to get those USBs from Target (but since I was adamant this time in getting 256 GB USBs—I don’t want to have to worry about storage for a longgggg time—there were none in stock), ordering them off of eBay instead since my dad insisted on their cheapness, waiting a week for them, then transferring them to that email and uploading them onto its Google drive if the files was too big…

But that was taking much too long and still left space on my iPad while I was doing it. I managed to complete the 2019 and 2020 pieces from my iPad, but it also only ended up being around 1 GB… So, like, I need to clear more years (breaks my heart, it does ;~; Sure, I still have access to them via that email and those USBs, but it’s not convenient anymore, and there are still pieces I plan on getting back to… ackkkkk).

Contemplating it some more and discussing it with a friend, much as I abhor subscription services, I finally decided to purchase a premium membership on Ibis for that 20 GB of cloud storage. I can afford the 30 bucks a year, and I like the app anyway—serves me good—and not having to watch an ad every 18 hours to access my go-to brushes would be nice, plus having access to the other stuff, but yeah: ✋🌈✨cloud storage✨🌈 🤚

Anyway, I’m pretty sure a good chunk of what’s taking up my space is actually the cache, as I’m already more than halfway through my drawings, and I’m not sure if I’ll reach that 75 GB of storage Ibis was apparently taking up with just my drawings. So I’ll probably need to download everything, then delete the app and redownload it ‘cause stupid IOS doesn’t let you easily clear it 🫠

Anyway, I really thought I’d be done by now, but am not—that said, I managed to clear out around 10 GB off of Ibis (not my iPad; I somehow managed to gain back 5?? Somewhere?? I’ve no clue; I don’t see it), which is wayyy more than enough to get one drawing done for IH week, so I paused the whole storage thing for now. I actually tried to get day one’s drawing done on the 6th, but I’m dealing with perspective that’s hurting my brain, so I decided to get day seven’s done instead, ‘cause I thought I’d be on time…

Me? On time? Man, who knew I was so funny… 😒

But yeah, day seven is done! I’ll definitely revisit that day one drawing in the future, but not anytime soon. As if I wasn’t backed up already, this whole storage mess has backlogged even further, and there are other dates coming up 😮‍💨 And, y’know, gotta finish the storage transfer, too… Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Anyway, on a more positive note, gradient maps are actually very neat to use—had a little too much fun, eheh. I won’t confess how much time I spent testing it out on this piece, but here be my favorite:

They’re so golden <3 ☺️

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

[brucewaynehater101]

All of this is just so. Chefs kiss. I do have another layer of angst and a layer of comedy. After all, the angst stops hitting as hard if you don't have something light hearted to compare it to. After all, how can you know what darkness is if you have never seen light?

I said at the start that Tim gives discounts for secrets. He always seems to be able to tell when people lie and those that do tell him lies well. Bad things happen to them. Nothing can be directly traced back to Jane Doe, but everyone knows. Of course this does lead to some rouges and GCPD pigs trying to intimidate Jane into telling them what she knows. Everytime, Jane offers to play a game with them. 5 rounds, whoever does the rounds gets to ask the questions and no one else but others can listen. Should the challenger win a round, they get to ask one question and Jane promises to answer truthfully. If they win two, he will answer two and so on. They only get a 30 second break between each round and the Playlist is set to shuffle.

Tim lays out these rules and once the person agrees, thinking it's either a fight or sex, only then does Tim reveal they will be playing Dance Dance Revolution that Tim "upgraded" so it has the four diagonal pads too instead of the usual just 4 pads. He sets it to max difficulty for Rouges, second highest for everyone else. The most anyone has ever gotten is when Harley managed to ask Jane to questions.

Of course there are rules about the questions, like you can't ask Jane for any of their own personal details, and if Jane doesn't know the answer to a question you get one do over question. Joker has never threatened to hurt Jane over the way they sell secrets back with DDR because he thinks it's the funniest possible way to humiliate people who demand answers. Sometimes he has his henchmen challenge Jane knowing they'll lose just to laugh at them as they fail.

But on the flip side. Do you think any of the Rouges, before they knew Jane was Robin ever hired Jane? Tim would *hate* it but... those he goes on dates with are often very loose lipped about things and one time he got paid to just hang off a drug dealer's arm all night and look pretty while the guy drank. The guy was a *very* talkative drunk and after he passed out Tim was able to look through his shit with the potential excuse of "im just looking for the bathroom sweetheart~" of course none of the Rouges would ever hire Jane if they knew how old he was but Tim doesn't advertise that. Especially if he's been on the street for a few years at that point and has a reputation. He has to be at least 20, right? Right? Plus the mask and the fact it has a filter to obscure his voice he's just... there was no way for them to know, right? They can justify it to themselves all they want but if a Rouge did, they would definitely feel Really Gross.

Yeah! You've got to have some light-hearted or happy moments to really drive in that angst.

For Jane's age, it definitely depends on the Rogue and their characterization. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure Black Mask was a bit creepy to Steph when he was torturing here. So, whether or not they would feel gross/horrified depends on who it was.

I can see how they wouldn't have known (especially if Jane refused to answer questions about themself including age).

As far as the Dance Dance Revolution? That's a brilliant idea. I wonder if he's ever practiced that with YJ or Dick. I could definitely see then doing that. It would be a cute bonding activity (until they learn he used it as a form of protection).

[thalialunacy]

[for the @calaisreno May Prompt-a-palooza; cw for bodily functions]

(1) (2) (3) (4) 5: awkward (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31)

Sharing a home with someone, regardless of square footage or relationship, involves an unavoidable amount of intimate physical knowledge. As an army mate of John's had once said eloquently, 'Well, I know what your shit smells like, don't I?'

Those things, John is prepared for. Has got used to, even, in his once-and-future living arrangement. He's a doctor, a combat veteran, and a widowed father. He's not exactly squeamish.

And he can personally attest, on several levels, to the fact that Sherlock is not a machine. You can't share a bathroom and not learn a few things about a person.

But… it's like some switch got turned on after their 'moment' in the stairwell.

(Because no, they had not marched back upstairs and worked things out per Mrs Hudson's request. As will shock no one, they had instead gone on their stubborn ways, and are ploughing through their daily lives willy-nilly as long as they can.)

(Which is not very long.)

Things keep happening.

- John, sitting guilelessly at the table, makes to stand just as Sherlock is walking by, and ends up with his nose essentially in the armpit of Sherlock's dressing gown. Which Sherlock is still wearing. After sleeping several hours in it and old pyjamas.

- John, Rosie in his lap, snorts awake to find himself-- well, both him and his daughter-- slumped into Sherlock on the sofa, credits scrolling on the television screen while Sherlock scrolls through his phone. And, unfortunately, both John and his daughter have managed to leave sleep-warm saliva on Sherlock's person, in two round spots on his breathtakingly expensive shirt. Sherlock, who must have noticed, seems unconcerned. John wonders briefly if he's woken up in an alternate dimension, then realises they'd been watching Doctor Who and it must have seeped into his psyche.

- John, now one hundred percent accustomed to wiping his toddler's nose, is so focused on his laptop screen when he hears a sneeze that he doesn't think (at all) before pulling out a tissue and reaching over to the face of the sneezer. That it's Sherlock is only a fact he recognises a split second too late.

- John, brain uncaffeinated, yawns while reaching across Sherlock to grab something off the table, and realises with a start that it's 6am and neither of them have cleaned their teeth. He stares at the mouth so close to his, at the man whose breath is bitter, yes, but somehow not unagreeable, then jerks away gracelessly. 'I'll just--' He points his thumb over his shoulder at the loo, and escapes, face flaming.

- And finally: John, going quietly mad when Rosie gets her first real, frightening fever. His training doesn't stand a chance of overriding his lizard brain, so he spends three days ignoring absolutely all personal hygiene and never leaving his daughter's side. When it finally breaks, when John feels like he can breathe again, he notices Sherlock is there, too, beside him, quietly watching her sleep restfully for the first time in what feels like long, dusty years. And he suddenly realises he must smell like -- well, like a locker room and a crowded pub rolled around in the dirt then pissed off a skunk, probably. And Sherlock is standing next to him as if he smells like roses. This, unexpectedly, makes John's stomach broil under a surge of affection, and he feels his eyes stinging for one horrifying, sleep-deprived moment.

Soon, after so many of these things, he can't help wondering if God or whomever is taking the piss. If fate is having a good old go at John H Watson by giving him the closest, most fulfilling relationship he's ever had-- and making it with the one person who can knock him flat on his arse and keep him there.

He's tempted, more than once, to give the sky two fingers. But he has yet to get around to doing it. He's too busy, for once, actually living.

[❤️]

[thankskenpenders]

Sonic Superstars!

Superstars is out! And guess what? It's good! It's a worthy new entry in the series, and I mostly like it. Mostly. Except for the handful of parts I don't. As usual, allow me to share my thoughts.

(For the record, I got the PS5 version of Superstars. I can't speak for how it plays on older hardware like the Switch, or how the weird Steam version that seems to make you log in with Epic runs. But I encountered zero performance issues, personally.)

General thoughts

The thing is, aside from two notable flaws I'll discuss in greater detail below, I can sum up my feelings on most of Superstars quickly. You see, it's... a Sonic game. This will either be a blessing or a curse depending on who you ask. It's not a bold new take on the series that'll blow you away, but they also didn't fuck it up. There's no catch this time! There's something refreshing about that straightforwardness, given how rare it is to get a regular-ass New Sonic Game from Sega. It's just a new classic-style game where you can play as Amy, set on a new island with all new zones, and Fang is in it! This might be damning with faint praise, but that's what it says on the tin, and they did a good job overall.

(It also has co-op. That's nice. I didn't play it in co-op.)

It plays exactly how it should. At no point did anything feel Wrong. The graphics might not have the absolute highest fidelity, but I think the character models look really nice, and the levels look appropriately good with vibrant color palettes. A couple zones like Sky Temple gave me Klonoa vibes, which I like. One zone is an absolutely incredible homage that I won't spoil. The story here is minimal (as expected), but there are a few good moments of telling the story through the gameplay, particularly one very cute sequence with Trip. I did find a couple stage gimmicks moderately annoying (Speed Jungle 2 and Press Factory 2, looking at you), but like... I could say the same thing about Mania, and also damn near every other Sonic game ever made. There's always That One Level. Superstars may not raise the series to new heights, but it generally executes well on the standard beats of the series. It's an easy recommendation for all fans of 2D Sonic.

Really, aside from the two big flaws (we'll get to them), this game's greatest crimes are simply not being quite as good as Mania, and also coming out the same week as the more creative and polished Super Mario Bros. Wonder. If we hadn't gotten Mania, I would easily be calling this my favorite 2D Sonic game since... what, the Advance trilogy 20 years ago? I like the Rush games, but if you asked me to replay one or the other, I might have a better time with Superstars. And, yes, it beats the hell out of Sonic 4. It's not even close. Anyone who says this game is exactly like Sonic 4 is just being a hater.

...I guess I would say that $60 is a bit steep for this, but you know it'll be on sale for a more appropriate $30-$40 in a few months. This isn't a Nintendo game we're talking about here.

Nice little tweaks

Superstars also features a number of welcome quality-of-life updates over Mania, bringing it more in line with the design ethos of modern platformers.

You have infinite lives! No more getting a game over on the final boss and having to redo the whole final zone - or, god forbid, the entire game

Time overs are gone! It'll warn you before you go over ten minutes, but I have no idea why because it doesn't kill you anymore

The game features a hub from which you can easily replay previous levels, rather than needing to beat the game or put in a cheat code to unlock the level select

This means you can easily go back and hunt for any special stage rings you missed. However, as a tradeoff, it seems like you can only get one Emerald per zone now, rather than being able to get Super Sonic by the end of the first or second zone

You can swap characters between levels! No more having to start a whole 'nother save file to play as Tails

And those characters even have optional little movement tutorial rooms available from the hub, which is great for new players who may not know about things like the Drop Dash

And, finally, checkpoints now feature arrows pointing in the direction you were supposed to be going, in case you forget upon respawning

Of course, while you might not be getting game overs, Superstars certainly compensated with some bosses that kicked my ass.

Bosses

Here's what I would consider notable flaw #1.

I have mixed feelings on the bosses in Superstars. I don't think many of them are poorly designed - in fact, a lot of them are good, and offer fun moments of spectacle. But for a 2D Sonic game, they're REALLY long and drawn out, and by the late game this was starting to get draining.

Bosses tend to be the type where you have to dodge their attack patterns for a while until you get the chance to hit them exactly once, MAYBE twice. A few bosses seem to have quicker options if you abuse your post-hit invulnerability or play as a character with a double jump, but many will either be completely invincible or run away to the background for long periods of time, making it impossible to damage them outside of the allotted windows. And even if it seems like you'll be able to get in a second hit, many bosses turn invincible and skip ahead to the next attack pattern as soon as they take the first hit. Again, most of these fights aren't BAD, but because of this behavior they sometimes take almost as long to beat as the entire levels preceding them. This didn't bother me much early in the game, but against the more challenging bosses towards the end that kept killing me several minutes into a long fight, it got tiring. The final boss of Story Mode probably took me like an hour.

While this certainly isn't an uncommon style of boss design, part of me suspects they did this for the sake of co-op players. For one, playing in co-op means that you don't necessarily have to start the entire fight over if one person dies, so I assume the length is less of an issue. But in particular, true classic-style Sonic bosses that you can just hit repeatedly with good timing would go down in a few seconds against a team of four players. Likewise, the swarm of clones from the "Avatar" Emerald power would probably obliterate every Genesis era boss with one button press. So I get why every boss needs all these invulnerability periods, but still. I at least wish they'd made some of those attack patterns shorter and given you more frequent opportunities to deal damage.

Emeralds and their powers

Speaking of the new Chaos Emerald powers: they're neat, I guess? They're fine. I didn't use them much. Actually, I kept forgetting I even had them - although the game will play a noise and show an icon in the corner of the screen to remind you any time you reach a spot where a specific power is useful. Avatar, the first power you get, is at least good for getting a couple free hits in on the trickier bosses. Yellow's ability to slow time is obviously good, but, again, I always forgot I even had it and made it through just fine without it. I was also pleased to realize that the swimming power is useful for the water levels and not just for climbing up waterfalls.

Oh, and the new grappling-based special stages kind of suck, but they're not the worst, and I'll at least give them credit for trying something new. (Motion Sickness Zone from Sonic 1 does return as a bonus minigame, but I only did it once lmao.)

Battle Mode

I haven't played Battle Mode. Couldn't tell you if it's good or not. It did, however, give us official designs for Metal Tails and Metal Amy after all these years, and also it let me make this:

...Okay, enough beating around the bush. Let's talk about the thing that REALLY drags down the experience.

The soundtrack...

(This lengthy section on the music will feature some light spoilers for things like zone names and themes.)

Now, don't get me wrong. There are some bangers in here that I've been listening to on loop. But this is one of the most inconsistent soundtracks I've ever heard, and I'm not sure I've ever played another game where the music has such a sharp dip in quality in the back half.

As anyone following this blog knows, prior to release I was a little obsessed with trying to gauge what the soundtrack would be like. "Jun Senoue" and "new Classic Sonic game" naturally evokes the memory of Sonic 4, but from the start we knew Tee Lopes was involved as well, and almost all of the music previewed before released leans more towards the sound of Sonic Mania than anything else. I was hopeful! I was excited! Jun deserved another chance at doing another classic Sonic OST, and Tee is one of my favorite game composers of all time between his Sonic material and other works like the TMNT: Shredder's Revenge OST. I frequently thought back to this Sonic 4 remix medley by Jun and Tee as a reminder that these two could really be the dream team, bringing out the best in each other's work.

Sure enough, the front half of the game is largely dominated by the Mania sound, whether it's a track by Tee himself or one by an in-house Sega artist that's compatible with his style. Pinball Carnival Act 1 by Rintaro Soma (an up-and-coming composer who wrote a bunch of the Cyber Space themes in Frontiers) takes obvious inspiration from Mania's Studiopolis Act 1, to the point that I was shocked when Sega posted the track and revealed it wasn't written by Tee. Act 2, however, forges more of its own sound by leaning into the act's spooky haunted carnival theme. And despite being the music lead, the only level theme that I know for sure was written by Senoue in the front half of the game (Bridge Island Act 1) was actually arranged by Tee Lopes to give it more of that Mania sound. Hell, the level clear jingle is literally just the one from Mania. A few level themes by other composers don't quite match that style, but they fit in well enough.

But there are early signs that this sound won't be consistent throughout the game. Our first warning of things to come is the boss music:

When early copies started floating around and the soundtrack leaked, many, many people hoped that this was merely a placeholder, like the literal Sonic 4 Episode II music used in the earliest previews of Speed Jungle, and that it'd get replaced with a day one patch. Oh, those poor, innocent fools...

Even if you don't mind the poor production with the returning Sonic 4 faux-Genesis sound, this is a very simplistic thirteen second snippet of music that then plays a second time in a higher key before it loops. This wouldn't be the end of the world if the bosses were as short as the ones in the Genesis games, of course, but they're not! This theme is used for a ton of lengthy fights throughout the game, including an EXTREMELY long and tedious autoscroller boss at the end of Golden Capital Act 2. Maybe I would've enjoyed the bosses in this game more if they were paired with some earworms that'd get me hyped up and sell how cool and exciting the fights are supposed to be, but grating songs like this just made the minutes spent fighting those bosses feel like an eternity.

Still, boss music (and menu music) aside, all of the level themes in the front half of the game ranged from decent to great, with the peak easily being the phenomenal Lagoon City Act 2 by Tee Lopes. And then... I got to the back half of the game. And the Mania style completely disappeared, replaced largely with the dreaded Sonic 4 sound. That isn't the style for EVERY song in the back half, but even the ones that try something different tend to be weaker than the material from the first six zones, with less engaging melodies and less intricate arrangement. Many sound straight up unfinished, leaning on extremely basic synth patches with no personality. And there isn't a single track from Tee in the back half. He just disappears from the project altogether.

What this means is that we go from this absolute banger by Tee Lopes in zone 6, which elevates what's otherwise a bog standard desert level to a thrilling adventure:

To... this, in zone 7:

It's EXTREMELY jarring!

The thing is, this is actually one of the better tracks in this style. I have to assume this is by Senoue, because you can totally hear a good Adventure or Heroes era Senoue track in there once you get past the crude synth replication of the Genesis era Sonic sound. Senoue is still a great composer, as you can hear clear as day with Bridge Island, but he's working with a restrictive sound palette that doesn't play to his strengths at all. If only he'd bust out that damn guitar, or at least pick some better synths.

(And no matter what people will tell you, no, this is not an accurate recreation of what the Genesis's YM2612 chip really sounded like, nor is it representative of what it CAN sound like at its best. Go back to the Streets of Rage 2 or Ristar soundtracks if you need a reminder.)

While I can at least see what the Press Factory tracks were aiming for, some other faux-FM synth tracks are just really bland. They don't have anything interesting going on, and they also don't seem particularly tailor made for the levels they accompany. They're just attempts to mimic what Sonic 1-3 sounded like on a very literal level. Take, for instance, the Golden Capital Act 1 theme, AKA "we've got Sky Sanctuary at home." While the better level themes in this game enhance the mood or even completely carry the vibes of a level, the weaker tracks can really suck all the air out of the room and make a level feel like more of a slog.

What kills me is that there are, in fact, a couple examples of how to do throwbacks to classic Sega FM synth music well on this very soundtrack! They're just not the Sonic 4 type tracks. I love the Frozen Base Act 2 theme, presumably composed by legendary Sega composer Hiroshi "HIRO" Kawaguchi, who's responsible for all-time classic arcade soundtracks like Fantasy Zone, Out Run, Hang-On, After Burner, and more, as well as the hacking and pinball themes from Frontiers. Maybe to an untrained ear this doesn't sound all that different, but it has a catchier tune, better instruments, and stronger production overall. I'm also a fan of the track for Sky Temple, which isn't perfect, but it blends a few Genesis-esque instruments like the Sonic 1+2 snare with other instruments for a richer sound. If the whole soundtrack sounded more like these examples, I'd definitely be complaining less.

I really just have to wonder... how did this happen? How did this end up being so inconsistent? Many fans on social media are jumping to the conclusion that Senoue is just extremely stubborn and refuses to ditch the style from Sonic 4. I can't deny this possibility, but some things just don't add up. The almost complete lack of "retro" style music in the promotional material. The fact that the style just suddenly shifts halfway through the game, then disappears for the final zone, as if that's not the note they want to end on. The complete lack of any tracks by Tee Lopes in the back half. The focus on the Mania-style tracks in the bonus "mini soundtrack." And most perplexing of all, the fact that three of the first tracks you hear in the game were Senoue compositions that were given extra attention with arrangements from Tee Lopes.

This is pure speculation on my part, but it almost seems like they straight up ran out of time.

Perhaps Jun wanted more of his tracks to get full arrangements from Tee, or for Tee to contribute more songs, but things were down to the wire and they chose to leave in some of the raw Sonic 4 style demos. The soundtrack being crunched out in a matter of months at the end of development would certainly explain why Speed Jungle had to be demoed without its music a mere four months ago. It'd also explain why a game that's only a few hours long needs NINETEEN composers listed in the credits. And also the fact that multiple zones just have completely different, unrelated music by different artists across their acts. Did they need multiple artists working on different acts simultaneously, completely independent from each other with no time to cross reference each others' work, due to extreme time constraints? I'd buy it.

Ah well. It's not the end of the world. I've heard worse Sonic music. But I'll always think of what could have been...

At least the final battle with Eggman at the end of Story Mode has a pretty kickass boss theme, which ALMOST makes up for how bad most of the preceding boss music is (and the fact that that very difficult fight doesn't have a checkpoint between phases and took me like an hour to beat lmao). It even seems like it might be written by longtime Phantasy Star Online composer and recurring Sonic contributor Hideaki Kobayashi. That's the guy who wrote NONAGRESSION!!!!!!!

The postgame

Speaking of beating Eggman! It turns out Superstars has a good deal of postgame content, as merely beating the last zone with all the Chaos Emeralds doesn't take you to the true final boss. In order to do that, you'll need to do something else.

Before we hit the big spoiler warning, I'm going to give any future players who are still reading a warning. If you value your sanity... don't force yourself to do all the postgame stuff. Don't make the mistakes I did. It's not worth it, and it may very well knock your personal score for the game down a couple points.

----------------------------------------------------------------

SPOILERS FOR THE STORY, UNLOCKABLES, AND THE POSTGAME BELOW THIS POINT

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

----------------------------------------------------------------

The bonus scenario

Sonic Superstars has a big surprise in store for anyone who beats the main story. For the first time since... what, Silver? In 2006? We finally have a brand new playable character in a new Sonic platformer! (I wouldn't count the player avatar in Forces as a full-fledged New Character.) Yes, after the credits roll, you unlock Trip as the super-secret fifth playable character. I was really excited to see this. Trip is cute, even if her masked appearance from early in the game is perhaps a more unique design than a Sonic-ified lizard girl who can only vaguely look like a real sungazer lizard. She IS the first new Sonic character Ohshima has designed since the '90s, though, so she gets points for that - and she gets even more points for literally turning into a dragon when she goes Super. We love a girl who can turn into a dragon, don't we folks? And her playstyle is fun, too, with a double jump and the ability to roll along walls and ceilings.

But Trip isn't just playable. Like Knuckles before her, she gets an entire alternate story mode of her own, which somewhat remixes the level layouts, generally makes things more challenging, and swaps out Eggman for Egg Robo. I was so excited to see this! It really felt like the game had so much more in store for me than I'd anticipated.

...Then I spent probably around three hours attempting to beat the new final battle with Fang at the end of Trip's Story. And it made me regret doing Trip's Story at all.

Once you learn the patterns, a lot of them are actually piss easy. But the difficulty comes down to a few misguided factors:

The fight is LOOOONG. On a successful attempt the whole thing will probably take the average player about, like... seven or eight minutes? Maybe longer? This is where I really started to get pissed at the game for making me wait through these stupid attack patterns before I could attempt to hit the boss once.

The fight is divided between two phases, one with Fang in a vehicle and another with him in a giant robot, with no checkpoint between them. Dying to one of Fang's bullshit attacks on the second phase means having to redo the ~5 minute first phase all over again. And, worst of all...

Fang has multiple projectile attacks that are guaranteed instant kills, even if you have rings.

Also there's a stupid desperation headbutt attack that can really easily catch you off guard and kill you, but I only got that far in the fight once.

It's the instant kills that got me. If those fucking immobilizing net attacks just made you drop your rings, or you could at least wiggle out of them by mashing buttons (EDIT: apparently you CAN do this but you literally have to button mash so rapidly that it's a crapshoot whether or not you'll physically be able to do it), it would have been totally doable! Kinda fun, even! Slow, but pretty cool in terms of spectacle. But nope! Three hours! Three hours on this! This is, without a doubt, the hardest boss I have ever faced in any Sonic game, period, and one of the hardest bosses I've ever seen in ANY game. All because of one attack pattern where making a tiny mistake means starting over.

The glitches didn't help, either. Something about the way the circular boss arena was set up in both stories' final battles seems to make the floor intangible sometimes for non-player objects. Occasionally my dropped rings, enemies I was supposed to knock towards Fang, or one of Fang's insta-kill projectiles would just fall through the floor randomly. This definitely wasn't my main problem, but it helped drive home the idea that this fight just wasn't worth my time.

After three hours of attempts, I gave up. I just went and looked up the ending of Trip's story, as well as the contents of the Final Story, on YouTube. Turns out I made the right call, because boy, that true final boss looks like dogshit. It's just a very dull fight against a big generic cartoon dragon. Apparently this is the thing Eggman was looking for. It appears and is defeated with little fanfare. I think I liked it better when I assumed the scary dragon being foreshadowed was just Super Trip.

...Also, hey, what's up with The End being very conspicuously visible in the background of the last zone?? I know it's just a cheeky cameo, but, like... isn't it supposed to be sealed away in Cyber Space right now? Should I be taking this literally? Does this have lore implications? This is one hell of a way to remind people that the timeline's been reunified, I guess

Closing thoughts

I really hate to part ways with Superstars on a sour note like this, because like I said up top, I mostly enjoyed my time with it! It's really just a small handful of particularly frustrating bosses and the inconsistent soundtrack that drag it down. Other than that, it's solid as a rock. Maybe wait for sales if you're not dying to play it, but it's definitely worth playing for any Sonic fan. Just... skip the true ending. I would have stepped away MUCH happier with this game if I'd done that.

I wanna try to end this on a more positive note but I'm tired, so, uhhhh... look, you can unlock a Metal Nights skin for your Battle Mode bot!!

Anyway back to jamming to about half the soundtrack on loop while pretending the other half doesn't exist, and looking forward to the continued Fang Renaissance with his upcoming IDW miniseries

[aster-blogging-dracula]

Reading BlueCatWriter's Dracula along with Dracula Daily

Ok so I've been meaning to read all of @bluecatwriter 's wonderful Dracula hc fics in order for a long time but I never have time to get with it so I decided to read it along with Dracula Daily this year.

If anyone else wants to do the same, here are the dates (or aproximante dates*) for each fic. (idk if someone has done this already but oh well) (BlueCat if you read this feel free to correct me if i got any date wrong)

*(Since there's 2 pre-canon fics and 2 days of may before dd, i'm setting those fics on those dates. Dates of undated fics are also adjusted to not overlap with date of other fics)

*(The order during the varna stay is a bit wacky since the book gets pretty vague for 2 weeks there but I tried to adjust it as well as possible.)

1-A picnic in may. May 1st 2-Home before you know it. May 2nd 3-I too can love. May 16th 4-Three letters. May 19th 5-The prisioner. May 28th 6-Tonight is mine. June 29th 7-Stay awake. August 14th 8-In sickness and in health. August 24th 9-Full of vague fear. August 24th 10-A golden afternoon. August 31st 11-A doctor’s confidence. September 2nd 12-I come to my friend when he call. September 2nd 13-Blood she must have. September 7th 14-After the transfusion. September 7th or 8th 15-Sleeping beauty. September 10th 16-The wolf in the window. September 17th 17-Sympathy. September 18th 18-Things will be different. September 19th 19-My only son. September 19th 20-Come, my husband. September 28th 21-These others. September 29th 22-Lucy’s second death. September 29th 23-How good and thoughtful. September 29th 24-Brandy, bath, and beadtime. September 30th or October 1st (preferably the former since the dd entry is slightly shorter that day) 25-A pale orphan. October 2nd 26-You will not call in vain. Between September 30th and October 11th?? 27-Renfield’s death. October 3rd 28-Safe for one more moment. October 3rd 31-Hungry. Between October 12th and October 15th 29-A week in varna. Between October 15th and October 27th? 30-Waiting. Between October 17th and October 27th? 32-Judge moneybag. Between October 15th and October 27th? 33-How i miss my phonograph. October 24th 34-Mem. get recipe for mina. Between October 15th and October 27th? 35-Farewell, sweet friends. October 30th 36-Starlight on the sereth. October 31st 37-Step into the light. Between October 15th? and November 6th (if reading in one sitting wait until november 6th)

38- Love multiplying. November 7th onward

Omg guys it's may already I'm so exited for this. This year I know I will be up do date with everything even tho I'm busy with my End of Degree Project because the dracula fixation i caught last year is a part of my life now I have been planning this so long guys.

[mikodrawnnarratives]

TW IMPLIED CHARACTER DEATH

TW BLOOD

(Just like last time, it isn't really graphic but I'm tagging just so you know)

@naffeclipse

Part 1 | This is Part Two | Part Three | Extra

It. Probably won't need a part 4

I'm doing this all on one cps file so I sure hope so kjlfdkfljs

i'm at like- 750+ layers i'm so sorry my file

...there might be a part 4 but it'll be small sketches and aftermaths

Once again, long post under the cut:

I am not the only traveler, who has not repaid his debt.

I've been searching for a trail to follow again

Take me back to the night we met

- The night we met by Lord Hurdon

Alright, I didn't make too much of an effort to hide it but how many of you guessed it was gregory and how many of you didn't see it coming?

Gee I wonder who Gregory's companions are

Okay if you don't have a nugget of who these companions are then my rambling below makes it a little more obvious

Anyway, this little comic of self indulgence to mend my broken heart says "YO what if Gregory and other characters saved Vanessa like they did in canon"

It certainly would NOT be easy for Vanessa once she wakes up to that realization. But there are factors that make it a little bit easier for Vanessa to cope compared to other children.

Since Gregory and others proved they could fight and free her as Vanny, it gives her mind a little reassurance that they aren't completely helpless.

Plus, I like the idea of the GGY story (Dr Rabbit) existing as this au's equivalent of the same experience, that would mean Gregory has had his own bad experiences with Glitchtrap and so it wouldn't be like some random kid going against a threat he was unfamiliar with

She still distances herself a lot earlier on and the more time passes, the older Gregory gets, the less he looks and sounds like a kid.

Those make it much easier for Vanessa to stand being around them as time goes by. Earlier on, she only really interacted when absolutely necessary. But she did grow a small soft spot for them.

She remained pretty closed off about herself over the years and never delved too deep about her past. Ness left frequently for her own hunting jobs and at one point Gregory asked where she went. Somethings made it seem like these hunts weren't just random and different

He didn't get an answer of course. But later that day, Vanessa told him about Y/n. In vague terms. This is the most information he ever gets about Vanessa's past.

So Gregory's got no idea who to expect to see showing up to the gravestone ltr on and is just like

Gregory: cool, ur mysterious enough for it to be believable ur related to my mysterious older sister/mentor figure Wanna hear a story

Y/n: ...yes.

Forgive him his brain is ever so foggy from grief and no slep

Anyway, Y/n picked a day to visit Vanessa when they knew they were stable enough not to lash out and attack any humans that may happen to also be visiting the graves. They had eaten pretty recently but not so recent that they were vulnerable.

It's pretty early in the morning where it is still dark and the rain provides some more protection.

If you couldn't tell before, many MANY years have passed since Y/n has been human. Think somewhere between 20-30 years. And while, they still hate who they are now and aren't mentally okay, they've gotten a semi-solid understanding of their limits and what they can and cannot tolerate and when.

And, even though they are nervous, they can manage to have this conversation with Gregory for now.

Why are they talking to Gregory so willingly? despite the risks?

well

the next part will explain that

[anerdinallherglory]

Approaching Sun (38)

Author’s Note: Long note ahead. 

You guyssss. I’m sorry for the delay. The Sasuke that I am writing is new territory for most of us. I write, then rewrite until it feels right. And I have never rewritten my own script as much as I did in this chapter. If you enjoy my writing, please take a chance on my live draft on Wattpad called Beneath the Hollow Grove. There will be romance, so the same chemistry between characters in my fanfiction is very likely to be appearing there. This chapter is dedicated to Teo and ttsukei. Thank you for your extra support and love. It means everything.

Approaching Sun will eventually come to an end (sad but rewarding at the same time). I am guesstimating a total of 42-45 chapters total. I never foresaw A.S. being as long as it is already, or taking as nearly as long as it has to finish it. To be honest, I started this years ago to improve creative writing with my OTP, and anticipated on ditching it when my ADHD got the better of me. But the community kept asking and I kept giving. You can thank those people if you have enjoyed it because this story was written 100% in return for their comments and support.

Also, if you enjoy my SasuSaku, you can find a one-shot I wrote before A.S. on Fanfiction.net/Wattpad by the name of “Sakura’s Letter.” It fits these A.S. characters well. 

Last but not least, there is a facebook fanpage for A.S. at the link on my Tumblr if you’d like to join. Hoping to share further A.S. resources there after the story is complete. 

Songs for this chapter: Technicolour Beat by Oh Wonder & Feel Something by James Young

Thanks always, ANerdinAllHerGlory

. . .

CW: Discussion of Suicide; read with caution

Pairing: SasuSaku

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37

Chapter 38: Methods of Atonement & Eternal Burning

Just when Sakura thought the insect-glow induced spell might diminish or expire between them, she glanced over her shoulder as she bathed in the warm cave waters to see that Sasuke watched her from the bank. He sat familiarly reclined with an arm over his knee, and where Sakura might have expected his countenance to have once again returned to the smooth planes and carefully composed eyes of guardedness, she sucked in a breath to see an expression wholly new to her. His mouth was parted in a silent reverence as he beheld the cleansing paths her hands traced over her collarbones, down her neck and through her hair. Had she even thought Sasuke capable of looking at another human that way? Well, it lasted until she reached up and over her shoulder to run water down her back, right between her shoulder blades where Sasuke’s fingers had traced the Uchiha symbol. His countenance slipped, a frown of consideration deepening the lines between his brows. 

Having an idea of his annoyance, she turned her back to him and smiled silently to herself when he stood, waded waist deep into the starry-lit water to join her. 

“Washing already?” he murmured in that low Uchiha disappointment that told Sakura he was pretending to pout. And his faux ire at such a notion was pleasant enough to warm Sakura from within and she prided herself on her self-restraint in this moment, because she wanted to smile like an idiot until her face split at the creases of her lips. 

With Sasuke’s strict abstinence of years and a single-sided willpower to outlast her own desires these last several months, Sakura was pleasantly astonished to discover that Sasuke Uchiha didn’t have such restraint in that moment. Turning her to face him, he stilled her efforts completely by touching his lips to hers. And the kiss was softer. Much slower than before. Like a whisper in a cave.

Sakura had always daydreamed about what sort of lover the untouchable Uchiha, Sasuke might be. She always expected him to be as Sasuke-ish about everything possible, including his love life. He would be the sort of man to keep his interactions with her formal in the public eye, respectable, reserved, and avoiding all physical contact that some couples easily flaunted for others to see. This was the reality that Sakura had long predicted and, therefore, accepted and did not anticipate Sasuke to be the sort of partner who, over the last couple of months, might secretly hold her hand while she slept, find excuses to be next to her, crave her touch in the private moments shared between them, and kiss her tenderly even after their bodies separated. As sad as that sounded, Sakura had predicted it, because despite how much she loved him, he was still going to be Sasuke, in the most adjective form possible of the word.

Which was why Sakura certainly had not expected the overwhelming passion of moments ago, the longing that passed between their mouths and the intensity of years’ worth of suppressed feelings into such a surmounting detonation. An explosion of celestial matter.

“It’s annoying,” he growled mischievously between their lips, tearing Sakura from her thoughts as she concentrated back on his current vexation. It had to be because Sakura had washed away the traces of Uchiha symbol he had marked between her shoulder blades. She laughed in response and continued to pull him deeper into the water, ignoring his attempts to stop her from erasing the evidence of his actions. Not even his devoted mouth making her breathless and his following steps as she descended into the river, was enough to prevent Sakura from completely submerging. And with her impossible human strength, she pulled him under after her. 

Sakura saw his eyes widen in the dim glow of ethereal lights, and she grinned wickedly in return, just before complete and total blackness consumed them. The water was brisk but not freezing, the balmy cave already warming the new layers of flood water. In the depths, void of sound and light, she felt Sasuke’s arm twine around the dip in her spine, binding her body to his, and the lack of all other sensation made the grasping touch alleviate every nerve in her person. Like a healing salve to an old wound Sakura hadn’t even realized she still possessed, Sasuke’s touch was the remedy to every feeling of loss, every doubt, and confusion she had ever had in regards to him. His possessive touch that clung to her body like she was now an extension of himself made everything in the past suddenly forgivable even if what had happened wasn’t okay. It was forgivable because it brought them to this. 

That look of reverence he had been appraising her with just a moment ago was completely replaced when they surfaced, an artificial glare of mild displeasure at being drenched completely eclipsing it. “Have I told you lately that you are the most annoying woman I have ever met?”

“Twice now in the last five minutes,” she giggled, wrapping her legs around his waist as Sasuke’s feet found the smooth underground surface once more. And that glare evaporated, turning back into veneration as Sasuke’s body reacted to her embrace. And Sakura realized that needed to say something now, before his knee found a chakra-controlled perch on the glassy surface of the water and he was pulling her up with him to take her between his body and the water below. She could see that he was already envisioning something of the sort in his mind.

“The last thing I want is for this between us to end,” she announced as she wound her greedy fingers through his wet hair—she had always imagined doing this very thing and it was so satisfying to finally be able to do so. “But we’re running out of time. I need to survey the area, and in the morning, I need to report to Katsuyu in Shikkotsu Forest and check on the men I’ve captured. Waiting for the off-hand chance that remaining members of Zenshin might discover our location won’t exactly get us anywhere.”

“You need food,” he whispered against her skin, and Sakura sighed as his wet hand slid up her back to reach the same spot where he had traced the Uchiha symbol earlier, giving up his quest and washing where she could not. She knew Sasuke would be sensible with her decision to move forward with her plans and reasoned that he would probably try to focus his attention back on his own mission of Kaguya once this electricity between them dissipated into a comfortable normal.  

And as his words settled, Sakura realized she hadn’t eaten in almost forty-two hours and her stomach grumbled loudly to Sasuke’s victorious smirk as he successfully delayed their departure by a few moments more. 

. . .

Sakura returned to the central cavern after a few private minutes to herself, the charred fragrance of something crackling over a fresh fire luring her from the enchanting tunnel of glowworms. The muffled roar of the waterfall was distant and had quieted significantly enough that Sakura could hear the crack of the fire as Sasuke roasted whatever little, unfortunate, and very possibly blind cave dwellers he had managed to find down here for them to eat. 

“What are those?” she asked, crouching beside him to assess the row of tiny fish now charred and black on the skewers. 

“Something between an eel and a fish,” he announced. “Neither and both. Living fossils only found in caves.”

Sakura raised an eyebrow as she investigated the freshwater fish. She couldn’t quite make out anything distinct about them now that they had been basically cooked to a crisp. Sasuke handed her a skewer and her ravenous appetite made her overlook the unfamiliar eel-fish quickly. 

As she ate next to him, Sakura began to feel the contrasting shift in Sasuke’s demeanor. He ate silently, avoided her eyes, and kept the small space undisturbed between them as he stared off into the black beyond the illuminated circumference of their warming fire. Sakura stiffened in response, simultaneously annoyed at the change and nervous at its meaning. She searched his expression for any clue as to what he might be thinking and felt her stomach dropping the longer he refused to return her regard. Could a few moments apart have already cleared his mind and reset his determinations somehow? How could he go from “We won’t be able to go back from this” and “Until death” to being all hesitant again? Sakura halted her spiraling train of thought before she came crashing down like one of the stalactites hanging off the ceiling. Maybe it was something else and she just needed to address him directly. That was healthy, wasn’t it? 

“What’s wrong?” she blurted. “You’re overthinking things aren’t you?” She was frightened that he would answer that with more silence or even worse, a declaration of how he had thought about what had happened, decided it was a mistake, and had changed his mind. But he laughed instead, that small, signature hmph of ejected air that had Sakura sighing in relief. 

“There’s no going back now, remember?” she continued teasingly, capitalizing on his small sign of amusement at her words.  “Because It’s too late to mope and reconsider how you’re not the best for me and blah blah blah.” She would do what many women often did when faced with uncomfortable couple confrontations. She would call him out on his thinking, his pattern of behavior that signaled her anxiety, and disguise it as a lighthearted chastisement and reminder. “We get to choose each other.” 

“I meant what I’ve said,” he answered seriously before rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as he fumbled for the words that always tangled in his throat. “But, I was irresponsible earlier and—I am sorry. What do I need to do for—Do you need anything?” 

Oh. That. Sakura's face instantly reddened at the words, because she immediately knew what he was referring to and what exactly he had been hung up on until now. There were no precautions taken in the moment, and Sakura didn’t know if Sasuke’s questions were because he was worried Sakura might be angry about his carelessness after the fact, or worse, he might fear the possible consequences of such an impulsive choice. 

Sakura assessed his own flushed face and he looked away again, firelight-reflecting eyes revealing the warring predicament she hadn’t been able to decipher up until now. She looked down shyly as well when she answered him. 

“You don’t have to worry,” she whispered, genuinely hoping to ease his concerns even if a small part of her wished he didn’t have any. “I had prepared before… before the brothel. Just in case.”

And as his eyes snapped to her face, Sakura saw him set his jaw in understanding and trap the words he was holding there. Sakura didn’t make any adjustments to her phrase or retract her statement, because it was the truth of it, and even if it wasn’t the exact answer he cared to hear, she hoped it would be enough reassurance for him. Before Sakura had left Sunagakure, she had prepped the bag of contraceptives, taking several doses before handing over what was left to Tabi, the girl Sakura had entrusted the supplies to before she left. She hadn’t planned on using her body as Sasuke had originally feared she meant to do, but Sakura also wasn’t naïve to think she might be completely untouchable despite her claims to Sasuke that she was. As a woman, physician, and ninja, she wasn’t going to be unprepared walking into a brothel; she had also reminded herself that it would be a wise choice to get started on them anyway after expressing her desires to Sasuke about being more. Regardless, the contraceptive had been taken and the doses were supposed to last months per measurement, so Sakura wasn’t too concerned about her and Sasuke’s actions tonight. 

When Sasuke stiffened and made to angle his body back toward the fire, Sakura reached out for his hand and gently grasped his fingers, a now special form of communication between them. In the beginning of their traveling together, the tender touches between them had been the first blessed crack in the ice constructed walls of Sasuke Uchiha—the big bang initiation that led to the them of now. And she hoped the gesture would work for her again as she used it once more to bring him back to the warmth they had discovered together behind those walls. 

Sakura focused on her courage, fighting to have the desire to stay on the topic while it was before them. Even if her preservatory instinct was to move on from the subject as quickly as possible, Sakura knew that the mature, responsible thing to do would be to discuss it. Thoroughly, so that they could come to an agreement, find common ground, and try to be on the same page heading forward. It was a condition to their partnership that they had long since established: communication. 

“Sasuke, I understand if you don’t want a family right now.” And he was looking away from her again as he, too, struggled to overcome the new discomfort of serious “couple” conversations between them. Sakura’s heart panged as she thought that maybe this nervousness meant that Sasuke Uchiha would never want children, even with her. She told herself to breathe, and not jump ahead, but she couldn’t resist voicing her fear: “Do you never–"

“It’s not a never,” he shuttered, finding her eyes with his own. “It’s just—my mission concerning Kaguya is unforeseeable.” He found her eyes and looked down when he saw the sadness his response instantly elicited in her face. He rushed to add, squeezing her fingers back. “But I promise to fight for that future. I’ll find the Otsusuki race. I’ll make the world safe so I can come back to you.”

Sakura nodded, her heart still feeling unsettled at such a promise. She reminded herself that by choosing Sasuke, she was choosing him and him alone. She wouldn’t force him to abandon his goals in order to be a husband and a father. “Even if we spend our lives like orbiting stars, passing one another in the night,” she had promised. “The miniscule amount of time I spend next to you will be more than I would want with anyone else.” It was her own vow to him, and Sakura had never meant truer words. Sakura knew what this life meant, and she could tell by the look on his face that he was worried, already concerned that she was regretting. And maybe in her heart, she was disheartened that their reality would be a difficult one. Sakura would be sacrificing several dreams, and she would have to make her peace with it all in time, because despite it all, she wanted Sasuke more than anything else. She also wanted a peaceful future, and Sasuke was the only person, in a combined effort with Naruto’s future leadership, capable of ensuring that it came to pass by fulfilling his side. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he shook his head, and Sakura saw him steel himself with a breath before forcing out, “I’m already sorry for so much. I think I’ll live our entire lives being sorry, Sakura.”

She gently squeezed his hand and shook her head as well. “I meant what I said too. I want this life with you, whatever it looks like. And of course, I eventually want a family with you, but only if that’s what you want, too. It comes second to everything else. Or not at all. Okay?”

He nodded in obvious relief and, to Sakura’s continuing list of surprises, pulled her to him. Her hands found his chest to brace herself and he inhaled the scent of her hair, whispering an apology in the crook of her neck. She kissed his lips sweetly with a comforting smile, but Sasuke took advantage and kissed her again, fervently, tenderly, consolingly in return. And Sakura decided to let him push her to the ground beneath him where his hand slid up her thigh. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Sakura made the connection that Sasuke’s conversation skills were barely adequate, but that in the private moments between them, he would choose to compensate for it with the language of bodies. This, too, was not what Sakura had expected, but it made sense that the stoic, awkward Uchiha might choose to express himself with the dedicated dialect spoken with the only other person who could receive, comprehend, and appreciate that language. With her legs tossed over his shoulders, and her fingers in his hair, and Sasuke’s head between her thighs, Sakura submitted completely as he made her forget her current and future grievances. He devoted his apology to her body like an act of repentance, and Sakura decided she would take him, take the man who promised a lifetime of regretful apologies, if this was his method of atonement. Sakura didn’t know that apologies could come in the form of slow arousals, roaming tongues, and­­—holy shit, suction. The sound of his own name from her mouth was the only verbalization of forgiveness that Sasuke needed in their mutually exclusive vernacular.

.

.

.

Sasuke was a fucking idiot. He had thought this to himself as he fisted each and every eel fish coasting below his feet, as he tried to explain his thoughts to her about starting a family, and even now as he stared at her back as they lay tangled together in sleep for the second night. Adding to the list of self-deprecations, Sasuke cursed himself for foregoing the Uchiha symbol on his clothing several years ago as an act of penance. At the time, Sasuke had felt that in order to preserve whatever was left of his clan’s dignity, he needed to part with wearing the symbol until after he felt properly atoned. He didn’t want his past and image to represent the Uchiha, furthering the disgrace of his clan in the eyes of those who knew their history or was learning of it for the first time. But as he had traced the symbol between Sakura’s shoulder blades, Sasuke had had the realization that Sakura, the only other person to bear the Uchiha name, was now going to be the new face representing their clan. In contrast to himself, Sakura had always been unwavering in her goodness, unblemished by wrongdoings, and righteously leading a new generation of mental health advocates and creating new healthcare standards. Her reach would know no bounds and there wouldn’t be a better individual walking this dimension to wear the Uchiha crest, to start a new history associated with it. It wouldn’t be Sasuke leading the Uchiha clan into the future; it would be her. 

Which is why he was cursing himself now for not possessing at least one article of clothing with his crest so that he could be staring at her back in the firelight as she boasted the mark that identified her to the world as an Uchiha and as his. Did that make him a possessive bastard? Probably. But it was an Uchiha trait to be so and Sasuke was more Uchiha in both good and bad senses of the word than many before him. 

And, he thought privately to himself, if his actions of last night bore the natural consequences, there could be two individuals aside from himself demonstrating to the world what the Uchiha could be. Which is why he was a fucking idiot. Because fuck, he wanted that reality as much as his next breath of oxygen. He wanted to be staring at his family’s backs as a miniature raven-haired child clung to his wife’s hand through a busy Konoha market street. It was why he had made a mistake last night, choosing to recklessly chase his high with abandon because it was the dream he wanted—knew that at the end of the day, was what Sakura wanted too. And that’s why it had devastated him to make that apology to his new wife, prepared to do what he needed to do to not force the responsibility of a child on Sakura alone while he had no choice but to continue on his mission to find those who Kaguya feared, the rest of the Otsusuki race. 

He had even fucked up that apology, incompetently trying to form the words. How did he tell the woman he had just tied to himself in a cave of stars that he fucking wanted to watch her grow heavy with the swell of his child while simultaneously dreading the reality of what that would mean for her. And for him. He would miss it. He would miss all of it. He had promised Sakura a fifty-fifty partnership, and Sasuke had only just realized how badly he would fail that promise.

And these thoughts continued into the morning as the fissure in the ceiling went from boasting the brightest of stars above them to the thin purpling stripe of summer dawn, and Sakura rose from their tangled sleep, a new set determination in her shoulders to handle the members of the organization she had sent days ago into the home of her personal summon, Katsuyu. 

“What’s your plan?” he asked as she turned to face him, triple folding his borrowed black trousers along her hips to make them fit better. They still hung loosely around her calves and she rolled the arms of his long sleeved shirt until the cuffs were chunky and hit her wrists exactly. He raised an eyebrow appreciatively knowing that Sakura was just making do, but the vision of her sporting a modified version of his attire sent his mind back into a perilous orbit. 

“You’re not going to like your options in my plan,” she announced, oblivious to his wandering eyes. 

That statement was more than sobering and it instantly put Sasuke on guard. He frowned at her. 

She swallowed before saying, “You can stay here and focus on your—"

“Don’t finish that sentence,” he bristled as he interrupted her, getting really tired of hearing that phrase come out of her mouth—even though he had been the one say it a million times before this. He guessed that he deserved to hear it as often as he had said it. “I’m going with you.”

The absolute irony of his words hit them both immediately as he said it. 

The pink-haired kunoichi laughed and rubbed the back of her neck as she bluntly said, “Then your second option is to be very still while Katsuyu swallows you whole, and I release her summoning back to Shikkotsu Forest. It’s the only way for you to get there. Just like the rest of them.”

Sasuke’s eye visibly twitched. “And option three is?”

“You could walk, but it would take you weeks to catch up, not to mention how much work it would take to avoid the hazards of Shikkotsu Forest such as beasets, acid pools, and toxin seeping trees.”

Sasuke tried not to be miffed that she was suggesting it might be difficult for him to traverse Shikkotsu Forest, even though he had spent the last several years exploring similar dimensions, but he trusted that if she was saying that it was bad, then it probably very well was. “And you were planning on transporting these people back to Konoha, how exactly?”

“The same way I plan on getting you in and out.”

He groaned and she smiled innocently. 

They had to get these people back to Konoha somehow. Not to mention the dozens of Zenshin members Sasuke had tossed into a dimension two days ago, telling them to begin their walk northeast for about thirty kilometers where they would find a stash of supplies Sasuke kept there to sustain them while they waited for his return. He hadn’t bothered to explain that if they weren’t at the designated spot, where the dimension spaces crossed with the Leaf Village, they would eventually die in that dimension. At the time, he hadn’t quite cared what happened to them in there, and he selfishly hadn’t spared them another thought sense. Sasuke supposed that it was a tiny reason to speed things along so he didn’t have any unnecessary victims, even if they did deserve it, at the very least, for not being able to follow simple instructions. He just didn’t want to have to explain it to Sakura. 

And the next thing Sasuke knew, Katsuyu was being summoned and Sasuke was resigned to a slimy fate of the inching human-sized slug as it ascended his body. And that pink-haired woman of his had the absolute audacity to declare teasingly with a grin, “It would be easier if you were laying down,” but he only glared at her with his most severe displeasure, not having the time to respond or even scoff before the damn thing had consumed his face entirely. And as Sasuke was encapsulated in a bath of mucus, water, and salt—yes, it somehow got in his fucking mouth (probably when he lifted his lip to sneer at Sakura’s black-streaked cheeks and sadistic expression)—he realized with a newfound appreciation how endearing Aoda seemed in comparison. That was indeed one beautiful snake.  

And within moments, Sasuke found himself on his back, eyes projected toward a tree canopy so dense, the light struggled to penetrate below, creating a blue-green cast that darkened the forest around him. Travelling from the aphotic void of the underground sanctuary of seconds ago to the ear-piercing hum of the insect and amphibian infested jungle of a forest, left Sasuke feeling deafened by the abrasive cacophony. In a satirical form of irony, Sasuke suddenly wasn’t so opposed to the slug form currently detaching itself from his face and ears. Katsuyu, the source and embodiment of healing itself, even left the Uchiha feeling more restored than before which made Sasuke just the tiniest bit sorry for his initial disgust towards the creature. He bit back his urge to say something in condolence to the beast who had no initial indication of his discomfort to begin with, so Sasuke bit his lip, feeling all sorts of confused feelings in that moment. 

“Sasuke,” the slug spoke to him in her singsong of a voice, “Milady will be present shortly, appearing where my main body is two miles north of here. She asked me to deposit you here to help corral a man back to the central location. He has wandered to this location.” 

Sasuke instantly frowned at the slug’s words. He supposed some silent conversation had happened between Katsuyu and Sakura in the minute it took to transport him. That, or this was some clever way to distract Sasuke while she took advantage of the distance he still had to traverse. Hadn’t the kunoichi just told him that the Shikottsu Forest was a hazard maze? Well, she obviously had more faith in his abilities than she had let on when discussing option three, the annoying tease. 

Sasuke took in his surroundings more carefully, trees taller than the Hokage Monument towering to the sky as vines thicker than Aoda twisted up and around them. It made the forest where the Chunin Exams were held almost miniature in scale. Sasuke supposed it made sense that beasts of gargantuan size such as the three Sanin summons to have come from even larger habitats, environmental determinism and all that. 

A thick fog hovered above the ground, and Sasuke stood and leaned his head up to view the treetops above, breathing in as he activated his ocular jutsu, the tomoes spinning into both red and purple eyes. With his dual dojutsu, Sasuke surveyed the area more closely, peering beyond the fog blanketed trees in front of him, where the treacherous swamp and pools of bubbling black acid threatened to pull him into a fiery oblivion like the siren call of an eternally burning river in hell. Sakura had been right to warn him of this place; she had personally encountered Kaguya’s acid-sea dimension, after all. Acid didn’t stop burning until it could be scrubbed from the skin. Falling in a lagoon of it would be the absolute worst of deaths. Sasuke moved forward, toward the chakra network and watery outline of the soul he was supposedly sent to retrieve. Approximately fifty meters beyond the trees in his immediate vision, Sasuke analytically watched the flickering figure before him, their heartbeat speedily beating as they stood erect, still, and unmoving. 

Sighing, Sasuke moved toward the individual, slowly and silently, contemplating what exactly Sakura had expected him to do. It was indeed perilous, to navigate the small path that winded between acid reservoirs, and Sasuke’s footfalls were near silent as he proceeded with slow and deliberate caution. The physical form of Sasuke’s fixation materialized from the mist, a man who stood before one of the black, endless, gurgling acid ponds. The stranger’s back was turned to Sasuke and, unexpectedly, the man’s head tilted in Sasuke’s direction as he detected the Uchiha’s approaching presence. Sasuke raised an eyebrow privately at the man’s perceptiveness despite Sasuke’s silent footfalls. He had to be a ninja, then, without a shadow of a doubt, if he was able to sense him. 

Sasuke took in the man’s appearance more carefully: tall, dark hair, a tailor-fitted suit as if he were some sort of mobster instead of a ninja. Of course, that suit now displayed various tears and holes, the wearable evidence of days in the Shikkotsu Forest. Was he missing a shoe? 

“Reaper?” came his voice next, a resigned, melancholic breathlessness as if he were talking to himself rather than acknowledging Sasuke’s presence. 

Sasuke was getting that sort of association a lot lately. If the world continued to sense him as such before they even knew him, was he honestly doing a well enough job redeeming himself? He shook the thought away.

“But I haven’t done it yet,” the man whispered again, just before toeing the pool of acid with is remaining shoed foot. He screamed instantly when the acid ate through the leather of his sole and found his toes. He bent, ripping the melting shoe away. Well, that explained the first shoe, then, Sasuke assessed. And then Sasuke’s gut was sinking as the man straightened his back, finding the resolve to do it again, and the entire situation started to make a lot more sense to him. Just exactly why Sakura had sent Sasuke to retrieve him. The slug had known what the man was planning, what was about to happen.

The man was going to jump—all in, at once. He bent, sucking in a loud breath as if he were about to dive. And then propelled his body into the air. And Sasuke’s Rinnegan was activating before he could even register his choices. And within seconds, Sasuke’s body had replaced the man with himself feet above the black abyss of acid, and now he was on the planned trajectory of the consequences of this man’s suicide attempt. And before Sasuke could even question whether or not a ninja might be able to direct chakra and walk along the surface of acid like they did water, the Eternal Mangekyo of his right eye was spinning, and the skeletal arms of his imperfect Susanoo shot out and braced their hands on either side of the acid pond. Sasuke sneered in the man’s direction after he righted himself and stepped down onto the bank and stalked back toward the man who now lay sprawled where Sasuke had just been standing seconds before. 

The giant fist of the Susanoo shot outward, collecting the man into its glowing grip, the blazing yellow eyes of the Susanoo’s face inches from his own. 

The man cried out in surprise, probably believing that he had indeed fallen into the realm that came after death. But his next words gave Sasuke pause. “Who’s there?” Despite the man’s initial fear, Sasuke suddenly realized that he wasn’t seeing the Susanoo at all. He felt the grip that held him, the crushing digits of the chakra-controlled entity, but he cast his wide eyes about as if not sure where he should be looking. 

And then Sasuke saw it. The dirty bandage-wrapping that had fallen from his eyes at some point to rest around his neck like a prophetic noose. Because the man had been correct. It was the Reaper that had found him. Sasuke was going to finish the man himself because recognition hit the Uchiha in full force. He had seen this ninja before in the memories of that girl at the brothel. Before him was the ninja who had pulled Sakura into his lap and touched her black-dyed hair as if she had been his to do so. Rugo. That was the name Sakura had relayed to him over a campfire in a cave, and Sasuke had let the name sear a hole into his memory the same way the flames of that fire burned into his vision. He would never forget it. 

“You were right the first time,” Sasuke smirked, gladly becoming that deathbringer of his fear, the darkness in the Uchiha like an incurable itch that he sometimes craved to scratch. Even though it was when he indulged himself, that he got into trouble, Sasuke still couldn’t resist the urge when it came to defending his friends.

“Uchiha,” Rugo breathed, more solid but still another fearful recognition coming from his lips. “You might as well be.” He grunted as the Susanoo’s fingers tightened as if they were Sasuke’s own.

“That’s right.” Sasuke confirmed, that characteristic drawl he used with his enemies coming back full force out of Sakura’s company. “You should have been faster. There’s nothing that burns like the black flames of Amaterasu. It doesn’t stop burning until there’s nothing left. The acid would have been a mercy in comparison.” 

A steely calm came over Rugo’s face and Sasuke didn’t quite care for it. “I don’t know where she is. I had found her. Begged her to help me. And the next thing I knew, I woke up in this godforsaken place with those bastards for company.”

Sasuke registered his words with that signature “hn,” of acknowledgement, but nothing more. But internally, Sasuke was at war with himself. This was one of the men who had touched her. Sakura, his Team 7 teammate. And now she was more than that; she was his. This bastard had touched his fucking wife. The scene of that girls’ memories played over and over in his mind like his own personal hell of Sharingan genjutsu. But all he could hear was her. Those convicting words of her letter playing in his skull, still tucked against his chest as if it could be the second heart to operate and stand in place for his blackened one: ‘remember who you are.’ Damn, he really wasn’t trying hard enough honor his promise to himself, was he? Quite frankly, Sasuke didn’t want to. But Sakura’s order through the memory of mud and rain pounded in his ears as she yelled: “This isn’t who you are anymore! You can be merciful!” A declaration of weight whispered in a cave between bent heads came to him next: “You’re not a monster. Naruto and I will not let you be a monster.” 

Sakura had sent him here. Knowing everything she did, the woman he loved still believed it was going to be Sasuke who would be the best between the two of them to retrieve this man. And he was suddenly very annoyed with her unwavering faith in him because it suddenly made Sasuke feel like he had to be worth that faith. Damn slug should have just left the issue—let the man do as he pleased. 

Aw, fuck. Fine. 

Sasuke sneered as he dropped the man to the ground before him, his Susanoo of chakra retreating back into the essence of him. The man scrambled to his knees and Sasuke turned and began to walk off before he changed his mind. “You’re very fortunate that the woman you speak of spared your life,” he drawled. “It’s the only reason I do now.” And after the wide eyed, unseeing man blanched, Sasuke added: “But by all means—don’t let me get in the way of what you were doing.”

The man nodded once, that serious, resolved expression returning to his ashen face. 

But even as Sasuke put distance between them, his feet slowed when Rugo’s voice carried after him. “You’ve found her then. It’s the only way you would know how we got here. That’s good.”

Just keep walking, Sasuke told himself. Let the man do as he wished. He would tell Sakura that he hadn’t killed the man, at the very least. And what else could she honestly have expected of him? What was he supposed to do? Talk to him? She was delusional. Grab the stranger by the collar of his suit and corral him back toward her, the last person he wanted within a mile of her? Hmph. Unlikely.

“It must be wonderful,” Rugo exclaimed as he found a tree to lean back against. “To look at her. To watch that mouth and that hair.” The man let out a small groan. “I can only imagine it. She was the last woman I ever laid my eyes on. Not a bad view, for the last thing to see.”

Sasuke closed his eyes as the manipulative declaration designed to ensnare his rage hit his ears. And his feet came to an abrupt halt. He counted to three before he spoke next. “You really do have a death wish, don’t you?” Fucking bastard, testing his fragile resolve.

“You’re a fool to let her do what she did,” Rugo announced, and Sasuke wondered where all of a sudden, he found the fucking nerve. Probably was trying to get the Uchiha to run him through with his katana or burn him alive with unrelenting flame. “Now, Mozai will do more than just kill her. He’s vengeful, and he will make her pay for what she’s done personally. She’s done nothing but paint a bigger target on her back. And you let her.” 

Sasuke had never been so tempted to laugh. As if he could stop that woman from doing anything she set her mind to. The two of them were alike in that way. “And if he ever dares to come close enough, he’ll see her back for himself and learn exactly who she is now and who he dares to fuck with.” Because Sakura Haruno was an Uchiha now, and he would soon show the world that. She would wear his crest. Their symbol. He had already decided it, but it was without question now. He would beg her if he had to.

Rugo laughed, and Sasuke turned to see him bend forward over his knees. “It won’t be enough.”

“Then tell me how to find him,” Sasuke drawled again. “I’ll kill him right after I’m done killing you.”

“I don’t know where he is. He could be anywhere. He is never in the same place, always moving.”

“There’s not a corner in this world where I have not been,” Sasuke told him. “I’ll find him soon.”

“That’s a relief. Good riddance.”

And Sasuke was a little curious to know why this man was even with them if he expressed hate for the leader. Rugo had said something about begging Sakura to help him? And Sasuke eyes flickered back toward the man’s bandages as Sasuke made the connections. He was blind. He was able to recognize Sakura in a brothel despite being so. She had been the last person he had seen before blindness… The war, then, Sasuke concluded. Rugo had been injured in the shinobi war.

“Is that why you’re set on killing yourself then?” Sasuke asked after a second of indecision. He was in the limbo of not caring, and being mildly curious simply because Sakura had been involved in some way. His interest was more along the lines of knowing one’s enemy and their motivations. “Because you lost your vision?” Sasuke scoffed cruelly. 

“You couldn’t possibly understand, so don’t pretend that you do,” came Rugo’s angry accusation. “You’ve been blessed with the visual prowess of gods. You get to see the people you love.”

Sasuke sighed. He really wanted to just walk away, but for some reason, Sakura was always involving him with people who needed some sort of reality check. Sasuke wasn’t Naruto, but damn if he didn’t always end up in situations where he knew exactly what that idiot might say to these men. Something about joining him on his journey to bring peace to the shinobi world as if he were some sort of Saint to be followed. And hell, it had worked on Sasuke and many more, hadn’t it? Sasuke sighed in decided annoyance. Sasuke wasn’t inherently good like Naruto, but he had learned a few things over the last few years to draw upon for this speech. Especially in the last few months. 

“I would give it up in an instant,” Sasuke told the blind man. “These eyes are a curse. They come with power and responsibility. If I could trade them for the life of peace that you could have, I would switch places with you this very second. Even with my vison intact, I soon won’t see get to see the people I care about most for a very long time. But if I were you, I could still hear her. Touch her. Not a second spent, would I miss these eyes and the mission that comes with them.”

And how true it all was. Because Sasuke had been literally blinded for a year after the war as he sat in a prison cell in Konoha with his eyes sealed and covered. But as he looked back on it now, it had been such a peaceful year, knowing that it was all out of his control and it was alright to do absolutely nothing for a year. And then she came. Every day, without fail. Just as his friend had attended his bedside in their youth, Sakura had come to visit him. She was only allowed forty minutes to check on him as a physician, and they didn’t talk much at first. But damn, if it didn’t quickly become the forty minutes of every day that he looked forward to. Now, he realized it might have been the only thing to carry his sanity out of that endless darkness. 

If he were blind like Rugo, then maybe he could be present. His lack of power would make it so. The job of hunting down the Otsusuki race would fall onto someone else’s shoulders. And in exchange, maybe Sasuke could be there every day. Wake beside her every day. Touch, taste, fuck, and hear her tell him that she loved him over and over. Have children with her. Hold their tiny bodies against his chest as he whispered his own declaration of love to them. Every. Day. Even if he had to tolerate Naruto’s nonsense daily for the rest of his life, it would be worth it. He would be the better man, and leave the fallen Sasuke behind.

“Get up. Come to the Leaf. Live a simple life. And if you must be ambitious, fight with us to create a world of peace for the next generation.”

And as Rugo’s sightless eyes filled with tears, Sasuke felt a little more like Naruto. Because he meant those words. 

.

.

.

“Took you long enough,” one of the men spat in Sakura’s direction as she stared down the twenty-seven individuals who were now looking back at her as an enemy; there was a narrowing of the eyes, a hesitation in their shoulders, and the erratic exchanging of nervous looks, that was not displayed back at the brothel when they merely thought she was an instrument of sex. In the span of a few days, she had taught them the mistake of underestimating someone. 

They were gathered around a campfire, cooking some poor scrap of a thing they had managed to catch in these woods. They should consider themselves lucky that they hadn’t become the meals themselves here. If not for Katsuyu’s looming gargantuan presence nearby that warded away other predators, they undoubtedly would be. Many of them appeared haggard around the firelight and the dense tree coverage combined with the dimming sky already gave the appearance of night. Owls of monstrous size hooted in the distance, already eager for the night and the prey it would bring them. The members of Zenshin, in contrast, did not seem as keen. They sat huddled together as if in perpetual watch for whatever beast might pay them a visit tonight. 

“I’m sorry,” Sakura smiled brightly despite their stabbing glares, “afraid of the dark, are we?”

There were murmurs of varying degrees of bitterness and disbelief. There were even some choice words Sakura ignored completely as she moved into their company. They were like wolves, snapping and growling as she got near them, and like wolves, a few of them decided to charge her. 

The first man, the loudmouth of the group whose person Sakura had originally aimed for first back at the brothel, and then used his identity to fool his friends later, boldly sprinted in her direction. With murderous, bloodshot eyes and a gaping mouth, he brought his open hands together at the thumbs as if he meant to choke her, but Sakura quickly remedied his mistake. Her foot shot out, her monstrous strength sending him hurtling into the gigantic tree in their immediate proximity. There was a crunch and a splintering of wood, and Sakura felt more sorry for the tree than the man who would walk away fine after she healed him. Sakura couldn’t say the same for the poor, hollowed out tree. She winced, already prepared to apologize to Katsuyu for the violation of the sacred forest. 

“Araki!” came a feminine screech as the man slid down from the tree like one of Katsuyu’s many slug divisions, and he crashed to the forest floor with a groan. Recognizing the voice who had called out to him, Sakura quickly identified the white-haired, Boil Release Kekkei Genkai ninja whom Sakura had battled with days ago. She stood from where she was sitting among the men next to the fire and she pointed an accusing finger at Sakura as she screamed, “You bitch! That wasn’t necessary!”

“Hello, again,” Sakura waved and the girl growled as she fisted both her palms with radiating fury. “Mind if I sit?” Sakura asked unbothered, before coming as close as she dared to the group, a body’s space away from the fire and sat crisscross as a large scroll materialized with a poof in the palm of her hand. She unfurled it, a white, encrypted document that served as a dividing line between them. 

Staring back at their blank, confused expressions, Sakura got straight to the point. “This is the warrant for your individual arrests by both Sunagakure and Konoha as declared, signed, and sealed by the Fifth Kazekage and Seventh Hokage respectively. Each of you will receive a minimum of ten years in either correctional facility on the account of trespassing, kidnapping, attempted murder, or at the very least, illegal engagement in sexual acts for compensation.”

As she spoke, the outrage grew loud again but it fell on deaf ears as Sakura continued to read the document. 

“However,” Sakura added with the snapping of the scroll as it tightly retracted back into form. “You will be given the choice of where to serve your sentences.” 

The outrage quickly grew to silence as Sakura modified the original, documented warrant with her own condition.  

“You can serve your various sentences back in Sunagakure, where the Kazekage eagerly awaits you. While serving your sentence, you will become potential new test subjects for the Kazekage’s new Mental Health clinic, and simultaneously perform excavation indentures to further create the sand dungeons you’ll be staying in.”

Their faces paled, so Sakura informed them of their second choice. “Or, you may return with me to Konoha where you’ll quickly be enrolled in the Mental Health clinic already established, perform community service, and also qualify for parole based on good behavior and reform. Those are your two options.”

And of course, there was always that wise guy who had to add: “And what makes you think we will go willingly to either?”

“You see,” Sakura smiled again, leaning back on her arms as if she were content to rest there. As if it were just another night around the warm campfire for Team 7 as they traveled for a mission. She gestured to the buzzing forest around them that grew darker by the minute.  “Coming with me will be the only way to leave this place. You’re more than welcome to stay here and try to find your way out on your own. But I wouldn’t recommend it.”

They carefully considered her words after that. They exchanged petrified glances and shook their heads at one another. 

“Perfect,” Sakura clapped her hands together in artificial delight, retrieving a separate scroll from thin air and an ink brush followed after, plopping onto the ground as it was summoned. Sakura unfurled this one too, a red blank document that she instantly divided down the center with the following two headings: “Konoha” and “Sunagakure.” She glanced over their shoulders to regard Araki first, who still lay unconscious in front of the tree he had been hurled ungracefully in to. She wrote down his name first and said to herself: “Araki, Konoha.”

“You can’t choose for him!” seethed the white-haired female who had returned to a seated position at some point, but still stared into Sakura’s person as if she could boil her alive just from staring at her. Sakura made a mental note to stay out of touching distance from her. This girl didn’t seem the type to retain information from the lessons others taught her. 

“I can,” Sakura responded, “because he is going to need medical attention and will need to come with me in order to do that. Should I mark him under ‘Sunagakure,’ instead? If he lives from that, you can explain why you made that decision for him.”

The girl didn’t respond and so Sakura left it. “Ok then. Who else chooses Konoha?” There was a hesitation at first as no hands were raised. But a motion in the back caught Sakura’s attention. Not looking at her directly, a man sporting a familiar red, hooded cloak raised one of his mutilated and scarred hands. Sakura winced as she recognized the man who had attacked her, groping at her body before Sasuke ignited him with black flames.“Remember that I spared your life,” she had said to this man after interfering in Sasuke’s torture-attempt, and Sakura didn’t know if he raised his hand now because he felt indebted to her, needed further medical attention for his hands, or something else. But it didn’t matter, because like the first rain drop before the torrent of many, his hand was followed by the others.  

Sakura placed a fake frown on her lips despite her internal relief. “Not a single person wants to attend Sunagakure? Gaara is going to be so disappointed.” And Kakashi, she thought to herself, when he realized he was about to gain twenty-seven new fugitives to care for. She could already imagine the Hokage’s slack jawed surprise when she showed up with them tomorrow. 

Not a single voice responded, and Sakura grinned as she stood and dusted the forest floor from Sasuke’s oversized slacks. “Well, that’s settled then. We’ll leave first thing in the morning.”

“Morning?!” someone called out. “Why not now, before the sun sets?”

Sakura looked around as if she had only just noticed it was growing dark. The crickets of nighttime began to chirp, large amphibians exchanged mating calls, and some growling beast began its nightly prowl with a roar in the distance. “I think one more night will be good for you.” Just to remind them of their choices. 

And with impeccable timing, something he always managed to seem to have, Sasuke emerged from the woods behind her. His red and purple eyes seemed to glow from the shadows as if he, too, were some nocturnal beast of the Shikkotsu Forest come to pay them a visit. He stalked forward like a panther until he stood beside her. Those who might have had anything to say grew wide-eyed and gasped at his arrival, not coming to recognize him even as he stared each of them down. His gaze flickered to the red-cloaked individual in the back whose hands he had decimated, and his eyes seemed to rest on him longer than the others.  

“Did you find him?” Sakura asked the Uchiha and his eyes reluctantly slid to hers in the darkening woods. He dipped his chin in a silent nod before gesturing behind him with a tilt of his head. Slowly, as if moving at a much slower space, Rugo stepped out of the trees behind them. At his appearance, the voices around the campfire picked up once again and they mocked, belittling the man who had made promises of walking into the woods and not returning. One man even went as far as saying, “Should have been a man and gone through with it, Rugo. Mozai will kill you anyway—” but he stopped midsentence and began screaming. The rest of the group panicked, scattering like cockroaches away from the individual, trying to identify the source of his torment. 

But as Sakura glance to her left and saw Sasuke’s Sharingan, she knew instantly that it was him, taking it upon himself to silence the man with a torturous genjutsu. After the screaming continued for longer than what made her comfortable, Sakura sent a pointed look to her teammate. The shrieking died after that, but Sasuke added for good measure, “Be quiet. All of you—before you piss me off.” 

Rugo didn’t stop until he came within a few feet of Sakura, and even though she knew he couldn’t see her, he stopped and stared at her as if he could, as if by sheer will alone, he might be able to. Sakura held his unseeing eyes as she chewed her lip in thought about how she might be able to help him through this more, before he silently turned and headed back toward the fire, sitting alone and far away from the group. He looked morose, haggard, and was he barefoot? 

“I’ll be right back,” she informed Sasuke who turned to follow her anyway. She thought of asking him to stay behind and keep watch over the group, but she thought better of it. She had informed them of their options. They were free to make a run for it…if they dared to. 

“Where are you going?” came Sasuke’s peeved, clipped question once they were out of earshot. She rolled her eyes even as her medical mind whirred and calculated. Despite the gloom and perilous nature of The Shikkotsu Forest, it was also a goldmine, a plethora of hard-to-obtain plants and fauna that made Sakura’s eyes sparkle in delight. Now, some of these things were rather tricky to get your hands on, but it made them all the more tempting. 

H. Perforatum, for example, a yellow-flowering shrub that grew tangled at the base of large trees, was highly sought after for its medical properties; Shikkotsu Forest supposedly had it in abundance but no one dared to face the Shikkotsu Forest just to get their hands on it. Unfortunately, the trees here also often oozed toxic, milky-white sap that blistered the skin on contact, which would make the extraction complicated. But Sakura didn’t tell Sasuke that as she circled several bushes like one of Kakashi’s scent hounds on the trail. 

“I’m looking for a plant known to help with depression. I’d like to offer it to Rugo and see if it can be help to him.”

She didn’t see Sasuke’s blink of surprise, but she felt it in his silence. She knew he didn’t care enough about it to ask further. At least until she snatched her hand away from a tree just in time before a sizzling dewdrop of white fluid fell from a branch, narrowly missing her fingers. Sasuke frowned at her and she smiled innocently while moving on to the next tree. 

“Leave it,” Sasuke said as he peered up at the trees with a newfound trepidation. “He’s fine now.”

But Sakura discounted his words, plowing on until she saw it: the blue-green leaves and the bright starshaped, yellow flower clusters that Sakura had been desperate to get her hands on since she formulated the plan of coming here. It would be revolutionary in its use with her Mental Health clinics. And as she bent to pluck them greedily, she glanced above her head to watch for falling sap, but was surprised to find the purple hand of Sasuke’s Susanoo stretched above her. He stood cross-armed and aloof beside her, acting as if he had little regard for her tasks, but Sakura smiled to herself as the arm of charka reached out from his body with the intent to protect her from searing drops overhead. Seeing him do so reminded her of simpler times during their Genin youth, when Sasuke’s attitude was abrasive, but his actions always spoke his true feelings. 

“Was it his permanent vision loss that made him want to do it?” Sakura inquired as she loaded the pockets of Sasuke’s oversized pants with yellow flora. Katsuyu told me he was in danger of himself, and I couldn’t think of why else.” There were millions of Katsuyu divisions spread through the forest, keeping tabs on all of Sakura’s charges, and the slug who had come to transport Sasuke to Shikkotsu had told her of the situation after Sasuke had been swallowed.

“Hn.” Sasuke acknowledged as she shifted beside her and she nodded, understanding that Sasuke might not give any more details than that. Sakura wasn’t exactly sure what to expect from sending Sasuke, but she had hoped he would be able to handle the situation better than she might even though it was her expertise. Maybe it was an instinct, knowing that Sasuke might be the right person to talk to someone who had lost his vision. He had been able to convince him somehow, and for that she was grateful. 

Sasuke surprised her again when he spoke lowly. “I’ve told him to come to the Leaf and he agreed.” 

“They’ll all be coming to the Leaf,” she informed him, popping one of the yellow flowers into her mouth, tucking it into the inside of her cheek to ruminate. It was both simultaneously bitter and pleasant; sort of like drinking Black Tea. It would be better brewed like a tea, but chewing would have to suffice for now.  

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her words. “And we’ll be taking the slug express back to Konoha, how, again, if you’re here? You left that part out.”

“Lady Tsunade is waiting for the signal. She’ll perform the summoning that will take us all back to the Leaf.”

“Hmph,” he smirked, not being able to hide his regard for her ability to thoroughly plan something out to this extent in the span of twenty-four hours. 

Sakura may have been a medic, but she was a ninja first. She wasn’t a mastermind strategist like Shikamaru, but she could hold a candle to many team leaders of her generation. A small pang of regret filled Sakura’s chest at the thought. She would never have a rookie team of her own to lead because she had dedicated her life to medical science. 

Knowing that she wouldn’t get the chance once they returned to the watching eyes and glaring scowls of their group, Sakura daringly stood up on her tiptoes and kissed an unexpecting Sasuke chastely on the cheek, before turning to return to the campsite. At his reddening expression and clearing of his throat, Sakura smiled innocently, those hands coming to rest behind her back as she leaned forward and tilted her head, a habit leftover from girlish youth. And maybe she was interpreting things, but the Susanoo didn’t disappear from above her head until they were well away from the deadly trees, and to Sakura, it was all she needed in return to know that Sasuke was expressing his own form of love back. 

.

.

.

In the dead of night, when the detainees had all passed into sleep, Sasuke kept his eyes trained on them, making sure that their heartbeats and cadence of breath signified genuine sleep. To his surprise, it seemed no one had any indication or plans to run. Not that he cared in particular, but it still didn’t ease his uncertainty. He wondered what Sakura had offered them to get them to go along with their sentencing. Regardless of their snoring and dream-filled twitching—which could easily alert prey to their presence; he didn’t know how they could even sleep knowing where they were—Sasuke didn’t trust them. Despite Sakura’s assurances, Sasuke still watched them as if he were the predator of their fears. Maybe that’s why they slept so soundly, knowing Sasuke was there to keep watch over them. Maybe it gave them some sort of security knowing that the man who protected the ambitions of their target-turned-jailer was there to ensure everything went according to the kunoichi’s design. Maybe, subconsciously, they knew Sakura cared about what happened to them at the very least, and as a result Sasuke was forced to as well. Perhaps it was the same factor that made them all choose to return to Konoha with her. 

From a non-poisonous, outstretched branch, Sasuke watched two interactions initiated by Sakura on the ground below him. First, and expected, Sakura sought out Rugo, offering him the yellow flowers, explaining in whispers how to get the most out of the medicinal properties it offered. Saskue narrowed his eyes at the man, whom Sasuke still didn’t quite care for, as Sakura crouched before him and placed a supportive hand on his shoulder. He couldn’t hear her or read her lips with his Sharingan because her back was turned to him, but Sasuke saw that Rugo only nodded in response to everything she said and asked and kept his respectable distance. Smart choice on his part with Sasuke present. 

Her second stop in the crowd below, however, had Sasuke leaning forward, his right eye glowing red as he made out the conversation below.

“Toka,” Sakura was saying, cross-armed as she stared down at the man who was reclined against a tree toward the back of the crowd. Sasuke recalled the stranger’s identity when she said his name, recalling the visions of the man clinging to the girl Sasuke had stolen the vision from. “We need to discuss something.”

“I don’t plan on discussing anything with you,” he sneered back at her, rolling his head back to the side to pretend to sleep against the tree roots. 

“Tabi is pregnant,” Sakura deadpanned, and Sasuke could tell by her posture that she had adopted the professional voice of the physician. Toka’s eyes shot open with disbelief and his mouth went slack. Even Sasuke’s stomach dropped a bit at the abrasive announcement, suddenly feeling more empathy about the situation considering the context of his and Sakura’s conversation last night. No man would want to learn of his partner’s pregnancy right before facing a prison sentence. 

When Toka recovered from the shock, he glanced nervously around at the others to see if anyone might have heard them. Sasuke could barely discern the furious whisper on Toka’s lips in response: “Why the fuck would you say that out loud in front of these people? You don’t understand the gravity of what you could have just done.”

“Does this mean you care about them, then? About Tabi and the baby?” she probed, unphased by his alarm. Sasuke wondered if Sakura did exactly what had triggered him just to assess his reaction. 

“Why does it matter to you?” he asked angrily in a murmur, still trying to keep his words private between them. 

Sakura turned her head in Sasuke’s direction unconsciously, and Sasuke’s eyes met hers, and she instantly looked away having realized what she’d done. And Sasuke frowned, because suddenly the conversation between his pink-haired teammate and the man sitting before her took on a new and uncomfortable context. Sasuke suddenly felt as if this were a personal topic for Sakura and she was asking from experience. As if she was hoping Toka would say yes, that he didcare. That he would do anything to go back to the mother of his child and make their family whole. To stop his foolish conquests and ambitions and be the man they needed him to be. Sasuke felt himself go rigid as he waited for Sakura’s response.

“Because Tabi told me you were different. I’m hoping that’s true.”

“I would only bring them heartbreak and pain. They’re better off without me.” Sasuke winced as the words that could have been his own landed directly as a blow to his chest. 

And then Sasuke knew. He knew Toka was not the only intended recipient for her next words. “They’ll be in more pain to know you had a choice and your choice wasn’t them. All because you thought you knew best. Because you thought you didn’t deserve them.” It may have been Toka’s first time hearing such words, but for Sasuke, it was another echoing reminder. 

He only stared at Sakura’s feet, and so she said, “I thought it might change your decision to come to Konoha. I’ve said that I won’t stop anyone from running if they want to risk the forest. Someone with a family waiting for them on the other side might just be brave enough to make it.” There was no response as she walked away from him, surveying the group one last time before making her way to the teammate she knew observed her every step from above. 

And when she came to settle in the treetop beside him, Sasuke couldn’t meet her eye. For the longest minute of his life, he held his breath as her gaze settled on to him. Slowly and with fearful anticipation, Sasuke glanced at her to find that Sakura had merely propped her back against the trunk where the branch met the tree and had closed her eyes to sleep. Sasuke wanted to reach for her, tug her against his chest as he had last night in a different environment of darkness. He wanted to tell her that he was sorry. To tell her that she was his choice because he was hers. But a family…it couldn’t be his choice right now. Not when he knew what was coming for them. Sasuke’s choice would always have to be his mission, but he prayed to whatever sentient being looked down on them, that he would find the Otsusuki race, eradicate them quickly, and get back to his life with his wife. 

Sasuke stared openly at her as she slept and he knew her decision to do so was to not force an uncomfortable conversation on him in the moment. Not after the trauma of the day. Not after witnessing a man attempt suicide and the conversation that followed, or from overhearing her discussion about families and choices with Toka. The day had been full of discomfort, and Sakura understood the Uchiha enough to know that now was not the time to have another. It was an indescribable mercy. And why she made a damn good doctor and rising therapist. 

And with this realization, Sasuke wondered when, in Sakura’s eyes, he had become like a patient with his own mental health needs as well. When did she start seeing him as someone who needed to heal instead of someone she needed to heal from? 

And Sasuke thought back to pools of acid and black flames that never stopped burning. And he thought of Sakura, the star in the sky of his darkness who still eternally burned for him despite everything. And Sasuke wondered when exactly he had started to answer that burn with a fire of his own. Even if he were galaxies away, he would burn eternally for her, like the black flames of Amaterasu. 

[rendiggitydog]

So we all know the final part of the Minecraft Poem, with ‘and the universe said’ yknow? But I just read the whole thing again and there’s lots of great lines in the rest of it too! So I’m curious, what’s your favorite line?

Under the cut I’ve pasted the whole poem minus the part we all know, with each line numbered so you can easily share what’s your fav !

1- PLAYERNAME?

2- Yes. Take care. It has reached a higher level now. It can read our thoughts.

3- That doesn't matter. It thinks we are part of the game.

4- I like this player. It played well. It did not give up.

5- It is reading our thoughts as though they were words on a screen.

6- That is how it chooses to imagine many things, when it is deep in the dream of a game.

7- Words make a wonderful interface. Very flexible. And less terrifying than staring at the reality behind the screen.

8- They used to hear voices. Before players could read. Back in the days when those who did not play called the players witches, and warlocks. And players dreamed they flew through the air, on sticks powered by demons.

9- What did this player dream?

10- This player dreamed of sunlight and trees. Of fire and water. It dreamed it created. And it dreamed it destroyed. It dreamed it hunted, and was hunted. It dreamed of shelter.

11- Hah, the original interface. A million years old, and it still works. But what true structure did this player create, in the reality behind the screen?

12- It worked, with a million others, to sculpt a true world in a fold of the [scrambled], and created a [scrambled] for [scrambled], in the [scrambled].

13- It cannot read that thought.

14- No. It has not yet achieved the highest level. That, it must achieve in the long dream of life, not the short dream of a game.

15- Does it know that we love it? That the universe is kind?

16- Sometimes, through the noise of its thoughts, it hears the universe, yes.

17- But there are times it is sad, in the long dream. It creates worlds that have no summer, and it shivers under a black sun, and it takes its sad creation for reality.

18- To cure it of sorrow would destroy it. The sorrow is part of its own private task. We cannot interfere.

19- Sometimes when they are deep in dreams, I want to tell them, they are building true worlds in reality. Sometimes I want to tell them of their importance to the universe. Sometimes, when they have not made a true connection in a while, I want to help them to speak the word they fear.

20- It reads our thoughts.

21- Sometimes I do not care. Sometimes I wish to tell them, this world you take for truth is merely [scrambled] and [scrambled], I wish to tell them that they are [scrambled] in the [scrambled]. They see so little of reality, in their long dream.

22- And yet they play the game.

23- But it would be so easy to tell them...

24- Too strong for this dream. To tell them how to live is to prevent them living.

25- I will not tell the player how to live.

27- The player is growing restless.

28- I will tell the player a story.

29- But not the truth.

30- No. A story that contains the truth safely, in a cage of words. Not the naked truth that can burn over any distance.

31- Give it a body, again.

32- Yes. Player...

33- Use its name.

34- PLAYERNAME. Player of games.

35- Good.

36- Take a breath, now. Take another. Feel air in your lungs. Let your limbs return. Yes, move your fingers. Have a body again, under gravity, in air. Respawn in the long dream. There you are. Your body touching the universe again at every point, as though you were separate things. As though we were separate things.

37- Who are we? Once we were called the spirit of the mountain. Father sun, mother moon. Ancestral spirits, animal spirits. Jinn. Ghosts. The green man. Then gods, demons. Angels. Poltergeists. Aliens, extraterrestrials. Leptons, quarks. The words change. We do not change.

38- We are the universe. We are everything you think isn't you. You are looking at us now, through your skin and your eyes. And why does the universe touch your skin, and throw light on you? To see you, player. To know you. And to be known. I shall tell you a story.

39- Once upon a time, there was a player.

40- The player was you, PLAYERNAME.

41- Sometimes it thought itself human, on the thin crust of a spinning globe of molten rock. The ball of molten rock circled a ball of blazing gas that was three hundred and thirty thousand times more massive than it. They were so far apart that light took eight minutes to cross the gap. The light was information from a star, and it could burn your skin from a hundred and fifty million kilometres away.

42- Sometimes the player dreamed it was a miner, on the surface of a world that was flat, and infinite. The sun was a square of white. The days were short; there was much to do; and death was a temporary inconvenience.

43- Sometimes the player dreamed it was lost in a story.

44- Sometimes the player dreamed it was other things, in other places. Sometimes these dreams were disturbing. Sometimes very beautiful indeed. Sometimes the player woke from one dream into another, then woke from that into a third.

45- Sometimes the player dreamed it watched words on a screen.

46- Let's go back.

47- The atoms of the player were scattered in the grass, in the rivers, in the air, in the ground. A woman gathered the atoms; she drank and ate and inhaled; and the woman assembled the player, in her body.

48- And the player awoke, from the warm, dark world of its mother's body, into the long dream.

49- And the player was a new story, never told before, written in letters of DNA. And the player was a new program, never run before, generated by a sourcecode a billion years old. And the player was a new human, never alive before, made from nothing but milk and love.

50- You are the player. The story. The program. The human. Made from nothing but milk and love.

51- Let's go further back.

52- The seven billion billion billion atoms of the player's body were created, long before this game, in the heart of a star. So the player, too, is information from a star. And the player moves through a story, which is a forest of information planted by a man called Julian, on a flat, infinite world created by a man called Markus, that exists inside a small, private world created by the player, who inhabits a universe created by...

53- Shush. Sometimes the player created a small, private world that was soft and warm and simple. Sometimes hard, and cold, and complicated. Sometimes it built a model of the universe in its head; flecks of energy, moving through vast empty spaces. Sometimes it called those flecks "electrons" and "protons".

54- Sometimes it called them "planets" and "stars".

55- Sometimes it believed it was in a universe that was made of energy that was made of offs and ons; zeros and ones; lines of code. Sometimes it believed it was playing a game. Sometimes it believed it was reading words on a screen.

56- You are the player, reading words...

57- Shush... Sometimes the player read lines of code on a screen. Decoded them into words; decoded words into meaning; decoded meaning into feelings, emotions, theories, ideas, and the player started to breathe faster and deeper and realised it was alive, it was alive, those thousand deaths had not been real, the player was alive

58- You. You. You are alive.

59- and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the sunlight that came through the shuffling leaves of the summer trees

60- and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the light that fell from the crisp night sky of winter, where a fleck of light in the corner of the player's eye might be a star a million times as massive as the sun, boiling its planets to plasma in order to be visible for a moment to the player, walking home at the far side of the universe, suddenly smelling food, almost at the familiar door, about to dream again

61- and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the zeros and ones, through the electricity of the world, through the scrolling words on a screen at the end of a dream

[31-daysofhorror]

Welcome to 31 Days of Horror 2023!

Welcome everyone to the fourth annual 31 Days of Horror writing challenge!

It is wonderful to be back with you all with a brand new list and brand new aesthetic!

For all of those new here wondering what this is, 31 Days of Horror is a horror writing challenge that takes place in October of every year. For each day you take the corresponding word and write a short horror story to go along with it. You can then take your creations and post it with the tag #31DOH2023 so others can see it!

If you want, you can check out previous years creations under the hash tags #31DOH2022 and #31DOH2021

If you have anymore questions please check out the FAQ or send something in the ask box.

Happy writing!

[List ID: 1 Cleave 2 Blank 3 Interred 4 Urban 5 Den 6 Head 7 Crossroad 8 Count 9 Cycle 10 Hotel 11 Devour 12 Cubicle 13 Club 14 Pinch 15 Viral 16 Bleed 17 Penpal 18 Press 19 Scandal 20 Freeze 21 Fragment 22 Track 23 Ward 24 Reign 25 Vessel 26 Crawl 27 Tear 28 Lonely 29 Pray 30 Nail 31 Epilogue]

[homestuckreplay]

kill them with bladekindness

(page 575-586)

9/3/2009 Wheel Spin: Parent Bad :( Verdict: It’s The Background Texture

9/4/2009 Wheel Spin: Long Pesterlog Verdict: Dave Should Pester John About This

Not much actually happens in these pages, just picking things up and putting them down, so I re-read all Dave’s POV sections so far to experience his uninterrupted slow descent into puppet madness. And it was actually very enlightening and is probably a good way of re-reading for character development/analysis now that character switches are happening so regularly.

But today I was just trying to figure out how the fuck hash map works.

Dave brags to John a couple times about being a super hardcore genius sylladex user, and he’s exaggerating, but not totally lying. As well as already having his strife specibus allocated, on p.576 he does a smooth box catch after seeing the fireworks ejected out the corner of his eye, and on p.579 he shows off by intentionally ejecting and then dodging about ten shurikens. Even though there’s way easier ways he could have accomplished that – such as GENTLY GATHERING (5) the shurikens to free up card 5, then taking the box.

Except, it makes sense if we assume Dave is practicing. In the past we’ve seen Dave mess with his sylladex in his room and in the bathroom, but this is the first time he’s used it in the public areas of the house – and with the Dude Dodge and demonstrations of using different words for the same item and dealing with collisions, it’s almost like he’s putting on a performance. On p.386, he tells John: ‘you should look into weaponizing your sylladex. my bro is always getting on my case about it but man its not as easy as it sounds.’

We’ve now learned that Dave’s bro stocks the kitchen with weapons, which could be there specifically for sylladex practice. Dave’s bro, who it’s been implied also uses hash map, could have been practicing the shuriken-dodge maneuver for years, to use if he ever gets into a real fight. (Or is there a league? Is sylladex usage a sport and Dave’s bro is like a former high school football player who’s trying to train up a younger family member to relive their glory days)?

These kitchen violence pages pair well with Dave reading the Midnight Crew on p.329-331. ‘A familiar feeling stirs. That feeling is overwhelming, soul-blackening rage. It's the sort of rage that'll make a man feel totally justified in sporting an unnecessarily elaborate assortment of fancy blades’ is a line referring to Spades Slick, but Dave lives with a man who sports an unnecessarily elaborate assortment of fancy blades, so I wonder what soul-blackening rage Bro is feeling and why. It makes me think about how a hyperviolent character in a piece of media can be very fun and likeable, but that same trait in a real person, especially one you live with, is terrifying, and certainly gets different reactions from Dave.

Page 585 shows some different options for hash map point scoring, and I wonder which is most user friendly. Scrabble points is fun, but only helpful if you’ve memorized the Scrabble score system. 2-point consonants and 1-point vowels, which Dave has been using, is pretty easy to calculate numbers for, but certain cards seem like they come up a lot more than others. A short, 3-5 letter word will probably occupy cards 5 through 9, and it gets harder to fill up those low numbered cards when calculating in a hurry. The system where A=1, B=2, C=3, etc, probably solves that issue, but involves working with much bigger numbers, which (if playing TTRPGs has taught me anything) lots of people struggle with. A good hash map needs to be easy to calculate and leave items naturally well distributed among cards.

The most effective hash map, I think, wouldn't depend on function but would have a standard set of 20-30 items that you regularly captchalogue and know the values for, along with ways of retrieving them. So when leaving the house, I could have my KEYS in card 6 and use them to OPEN the front door, plus my WALLET in card 0 to EXCHANGE MONEY for goods and services, but when I go home I can switch them out for a BAKING TRAY (6) that I could use to COOK dinner, and a LAPTOP (0) to easily BROWSE the internet. (If I wanted to leave the house with my laptop, I could captchalogue it as a PORTABLE DEVICE (2) for SURFING THE WEB). Getting to know these items really well, and the ways they might be used as weapons, would probably be way easier than just figuring it out as you go.

Of course, when losing a sylladex battle, you can just hit that eject button for a near guaranteed win. It’s possible this counts as a forfeit or is just bad conduct, but with a sylladex full of shurikens it might just be worth it. ‘detect collisions,’ in this context, feels like using training wheels on a bike or those railings over the bowling lane gutters. You should do it to learn, but some assholes will look down on it, and it’s totally not allowed in competitions.

I also noted on this reread how it’s very common for Dave to have the tiny flashing exclamation point above his head when he gets a sudden shock. This might have happened once or twice with John or Rose, I’d need to reread more to check, but it’s definitely a lot more common with Dave. He could be easily startled, it could be an artistic way of showing his emotion when he wouldn’t show it on his face like other characters do, or this could be where Dave stores his unused exclamation points that he’s too cool to put in chat messages.

Finally. I love the bit on p.581 when the picture of Sweet Bro or Hella Jeff gets knocked off the fridge and slowly floats to the floor.

[earhartsease]

some wheelchair storytelling - or, why it matters that wheelchairs are properly custom fit to their humans

we've had our current wheelchair for 4.5 years (and the power assisted wheels on it for 3 years) - and a month ago we got measured up for our new wheelchair (we can't self-propel any more due to fatigue and slippy joints so the new one will have joystick driving)

and during the speccing process for the new chair, we noticed an option with this new brand for an extended frame for tall people*, where they make the front end stick out a bit further and the down tubes to the footplate a bit longer too

anyway this got us to noticing that our autistic brain had made the unilateral decision that the "correct" way to use a wheelchair was with your feet properly on the footplate, so until now we always have tucked our calves in so that our feet rest fully on the footplate (pic 1)

but now we were wondering what it's going to be like with the new, extended frame, so we've started putting our heels on the footplate instead of our whole foot (pic 2) - and not only is it way more comfortable for our knees not to be so scrunched up, but it turns out our entire body frame is more stable this way, and puts less stress on our lower and upper back too

and as you can see, the difference is maybe 10 cm/4" forward, and it really improves our experience of sitting long term (we do still need the new wheelchair or we'd feel really bad about this)

the point we're making here is that small differences in a mobility aid you're using all day can make huge difference to comfort vs fatigue, pain, and actual damage

this is for those people who say "why does your wheelchair have to be so expensive? red cross sell them for a few hundred" and sure, if you're only using it for 30 minutes at a time, that might do, but bodies have specific needs

*we are 189 cm/6'3", and more significantly our femurs are 20"/51 cm which is ludicrous