#I know this is like the third time I've harped on this but I think the internet facilitates what's basically

[gin-juice-tonic]

"Go outside" is often said for people who get way too combative on the internet and yes face to face communication with people can be good for grounding yourself but also the internet is a pretty giant place

I know people say things like "this only matters on the internet" but truthfully it only matters on even a small section of the internet... you can go somewhere else. Remove yourself from internet tar pits and hang out with people who are more chill perhaps.

If you find yourself angry or upset all the time look at the spaces you are in and assess if maybe they are exacerbating that, and try to make connections and friends with people outside of those spaces

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

Playing With Fire

24/12: A Fancy Party & Praising - modern!Aemond Targaryen Word Count: 2.1k~ | Warnings: raunchy texts, pussy slapping, public sex, p in v sex, praise, dirty talk A/N: missed these two??? It's our Perfect Score duo!

12 Days of Smuff Masterlist

She hates these events. Hates the pomp and ego. Her situation has changed but the figure skating business certainly hadn't.

Since returning to Singles, Rhaenys had encouraged her to get involved in it all again, as much as she knew she loathed it. Connections were everything after all. And she supposed it was an excuse to have a glass of bubbly.

Rhaenys was in her usual flawless getup. A floor length pale blue, with the corset littered with sparkles. Except this time, instead of dragging her around by her forearm, she'd bought her doting husband, Corlys, and was dragging him around instead.

She gravitated instantly to Baela and Rhaena, dressed in matching blues. Baela wore a skin tight dress without sleeves and it was such a dark blue that in some light, it could've been black. Whereas Rhaena matched her blue to Rhaenys, bar all the sparkle, since she insisted it was 'tacky'.

She'd rolled her eyes at that.

Some things never change.

"Hello, you", she turned to find a familiar face, voice and mop of curly brown hair.

"Jace!"

He gave her a tight-lipped smile and a friendly hug somehow without really touching her, "nice to see you out on the ice again."

"Oh, you know me, can't keep away", she smirked, throwing a lock of waved hair over her shoulder.

Yet another familiar face poked from the shadows, "miss me?"

Both Jace and her smiled brightly, "Cregan, nice to see you!"

"You too," he smiled, "fucking hate these things."

She gave a dry laugh, "yeah, me too. Just an excuse to have some fancy food really."

Cregan laughed, "at least you're honest."

As the glasses of bubbly began to work their magic, her head swirling pleasantly, she watched Jace and Cregan laugh with each other, and then Baela and Rhaena alike.

There was a full ache in her chest, tapping her fingernails against the glass flute, wishing that a certain person was also here to accompany her.

She had respected Aemond's decision to not attend events such as this.

He would support her at matches, cheering from the sidelines, even watching when she practised, sometimes joining her, but he couldn't for the life of him force himself to go to an event where he might catch a glimpse of Alys Rivers.

He'd get no judgement from her for that.

Besides, if Alys Rivers ever dared to show her face in the same building as her, she'd face her wrath.

She finds herself, absentmindedly sipping the tart prosecco, her third she notes, listening to Corlys Velaryon harp on about how amazing Rhaenys was in her day. How sensually she moved, how she used to wink at him from the sidelines and-

“Okayyy…I think I've heard just about enough.” She says awkwardly. Without that he might have gone on forever.

“Apologies. I can't say enough things to describe her.”

She nods, “I'm lucky to have her as a manager, certainly. Excuse me.”

She blinked a few times as she slid away, through the brilliantly dressed people, downing the rest of her bubbly as she pushed the glass doors towards the back of the hall to get some fresh air.

She fanned herself with her hand, feeling all hot from the humid air vaped off everyone’s bodies inside. Her phone illuminates her face as she pulls it from her clutch, a smile rising to her lips to find Aemond’s name as the most recent contact to have sent her a message.

She laughed quietly, her thumbs moving quickly to reply, heart all aflutter.

There’s a long quiet. Those three lines to say he’s replying come on, then off, then on again.

Um.

What. 

Okay. What the fuck.

Her eyes were like saucers, the cold blue light bouncing off them as she stared at his response.

Gods, what the fuck was Aemond on??

She found herself looking around briefly.

Aemond hadn't known what she'd worn. How could he have?

She was stunned for a moment, her thumbs unmoving as her eyebrows furrowed at her screen in confusion.

It was a good job she was outside, the squeal she let out bounced off the walls when she felt two hands sliding around her waist.

If she were a different person, she'd have used her clutch as a weapon, it was certainly heavy enough.

But in the end she's glad she didn't as she whips around to be greeted with the familiar smirk, platinum tied-back hair and mismatched eyes of Aemond.

Her phone nearly falls from her hands in shock, "Aemond, what the fuck?!"

He chuckles breathily, "Nice to see you too, princess."

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked, gaining her breath back slightly, her chest feeling hot but at the same time, a smile rising to her lips at his presence. Stupidly, seeing him is just what she needed.

"Thought I'd come and see my girl, only to find that yet again that cunt Northerner is trying to get into her pants."

She swallowed at the way he'd said it, all low and halfway between flirty and angry. And ashamed as she is to say it, a warmth drifts between her thighs, her insides clenching around nothing, remembering perhaps the borderline dirty words he'd typed over text.

"I was...just being nice-"

"Oh were you now?" he drones, leaning forward impossibly close, a platinum strand falling from behind his ear to frame his sharp features. His hand on the wall on one side of her head feels close, half caging her in and the anticipation of his proximity is suffocating.

His gaze drops to her outfit, akin to the one she wore when her and Aemond had to attend their first shmoozing event back when they worked in Pairs.

"You do look gorgeous," he starts, humming appreciatively, "I remember you wearing something like this back when we hated each other."

"We didn't hate each other." She rolls her eyes, not able to help the smile that quirks at her lips.

But Aemond cocks his head, narrowing his gaze, "Uh huh, sure. Well you hated me then," he grins, "in any case, princess, I'm not sure I can wait for us to ditch this place."

Her lips part, unsure what he means until he has her pressed to the wall, his tall, broad form easily framing her in to trap her, rather enjoying the lost, dumb look on her face as his fingers trickle down to the hem of her dress.

"Aemond!" She whisper shouts, looking around as her face burns at the thought of being so brazen out in public like this. If anyone came through those horrendous glass doors... the thought has her core throb with danger and her skin alight with nerves.

"What? I promised, didn't I?" He muses, his lips descending to place open-mouthed kisses on her neck, below her ear, "I said I'd fuck you stupid."

Yes, but I didn't think you meant here, is all she's able to think.

But her mouth fails to move as he rucks up her dress to her middle, surprised in himself to find there was nothing beneath.

"Trying to impress someone?"

"Can't wear underwear with this dre-ah!"

She has to cover her mouth when Aemond slaps her harshly right onto her hot core, throbbing with want for him by now she's sure. The action, so lewd and exciting, has her clenching around nothing.

"Yeah yeah, don't want your pathetic fucking excuses, princess," he utters darkly, his tongue running over the bit of skin he'd just bitten lightly, and she mewls, turning into a choked moan the second he eases two fingers into her.

She's not as wet as she would be with some preparation, but right now that's half the thrill. She's still excited enough from his words over text alone that there's no pain but only the stretch of his fingers as he crooks forwards, brushing that spot inside her that has her toes curling in her heels.

She grabs his wrist, "fuck-Aemond-"

"There it is. Such a dirty fucking girl for me, aren't you."

She nods feebly, not even really listening, too focussed on tightening her grip on him as he pistons two fingers into her, the tightness in her belly beginning to crest as Aemond brushes her sweet spot with every push inside.

"Fuck-I can feel you tightening around me you little slut."

He punctuates it with yet another wetter slap as he pulls his digits from her, making her let out a muffled squeal.

She barely has time to crack her eyes open before Aemond is pressed up against her, his hands grasping her thighs to pull her up the wall against him. He only really needs one hand to do it, his chest anchoring hers to him as his other fumbles with his belt.

"Tell you what, if you can be quiet for me, I'll let you cum." He breathes against her lips, his jaw all tense like this is all he's been able to think about since he saw her.

"Aemond, wai-"

He doesn't.

Both of them have to stifle a sort of relieved moan as he slides into her, the stretch of him never failing to steal the air from her lungs. Her arms tighten around his back, all ideas of being caught or the fact that there are several dozen people inside the building next to them right at this moment, is completely distant.

The first genuine thrust he gives makes her want to cry out, but she thinks better of it and presses her lips together, each movement of himself inside her making that task ten times harder. But the prospect of not being allowed fulfilment is the thing that keeps her from it.

"That's my girl - that's my good fucking girl - doing so well-"

She's ashamed to say how the praise shoots straight to her core, tightening around him so impossibly much that she swears Aemond fucking whines when he tries to push inside her again.

"Aw, did you like that, baby? - do you like being my good girl?"

She's not sure if she nods or if it's the force of Aemond's brutal thrusts that is making her head move, but he takes it as confirmation nonetheless.

"Fuck - I could stay buried in your pretty little pussy all fucking day -" he muses, his voice all strained the longer he continues his rapid pace, his skin that pokes out from beneath his shirt meets hers with a soft slap, her face heating up when she feels that her slick is beginning to come away on him each time.

And she knows she's done for as soon as his hand drifts down between her legs, his thumb playing with her pearl with the aid of her arousal.

And he expects me not to make a sound or cum? she thinks to herself.

She keeps herself together through sheer stubbornness if anything, the two overwhelming pleasures at once threatening to have her topple over the edge at any moment.

"My perfect girl - come on, I can't wait any longer, want you to fucking soak my cock, come on-"

He almost sounds impatient, and if the needy tone of his voice doesn't propel her into rapture, the way he presses his thumb against her clit certainly does. And she falls over the edge with a muffled whine into his neck, near sobbing with pleasure as Aemond doesn't let up, fucking into her with abandon to chase his own when he feels the way she clamps around his length.

She lets out another moan to chase the last as she feels Aemond's shuddered breath and the warmth fills her as he hits his own high. Staying like that for a brief, warm moment, before he sets her down on wobbly feet.

He grins at the exhausted look on her face as he pulls her dress down, not missing the way he's already started to leak out of her. But he can't talk, he's all flushed in the face as well, tugging his trousers back over his hips.

She adjusts her hair, all frizzy from the moisture in the cold winter air.

"Come on then." He grins wolfishly.

He walks the opposite direction she expects. And her brows furrow in confusion as Aemond heads to the glass doors, to go inside the venue.

"Where are you going?"

"Can't go without at least saying hello to everyone, now can I? Maybe I'll speak to Cregan Stark."

Her mouth hangs open in shock, "Aemond-"

Your cum is running down my thighs. She wants to say.

And he seems to understand, based on the way he smirks at the warmth that graces her cheeks in embarrassment, "Come on, princess, don't be rude now."

She bites her lip in annoyance, hooking her arm into his.

If she didn't love him, she'd kill him.

General Taglist: @aemondsfavouritebastard @bellstwd @blairfox04 @buckybarnesb-tch @castellomargot @hb8301 @jamespotterismydaddy @mochi-rose @natty2017 @nenelysian @randomdragonfires @risefallrise @thelittleswanao3 @theoneeyedprince @thetrueblackheart @tsujifreya @urmomsgirlfriend1 @valeskafics @virtualsweetsqueen @watercolorskyy @fan-goddess

[theliterarywolf]

I feel awful for the people who worked on Hazbin Hotel. First, it’s been the punching bag of Twitter for a couple years now and when it finally comes out everyone is either using that 50,000 dollar porn thing to mock it or just completely trashing the show. Anyone I see on Twitter who does like it has their opinion completely discarded if their tweet about liking it gets too far out of their circle

I can’t imagine my passion project starting off with that much support and then when it’s released is instead shit on by what must seem like millions of people

Anon, can I tell you something? Come here.

I know it's been a while since the Pirates of the Caribbean movies (especially since it was back in the 'making movies not only to make money but to also have a mainstay in the cultural zeitgeist' era), but I'm not sure if you remember a certain scene.

"You are, without doubt, the worst pirate I've ever heard of." "...But you have heard of me."

Every person who creates, be you an artist, a writer, a filmmaker, actor, musician, whathaveyou, who also strives for recognition knows that success and popularity isn't just a game of creating a following of incessant praise.

You will get some negative pushback. That much is inevitable. Hell, even if you create something as mundane as singing about how much you like girls as a straight man, that can bring in swathes of critical reception and memeing.

So, Hazbin finally releasing? Of course there's going to be people who have a critical impression of it. However! Critical doesn't always come from a negative place.

When it comes to creators, we actually strive for critique. Any creator worth their merit should always strive to become better and, in order to do that, you need to kind of feedback that can only come from a third set of eyes.

However... The field of critique often gets swamped with people who want to exhibit sour grapes and, despite what they think, continue the reach of early 2000s review-culture (i.e.: nothing but negativity and complaints because you're so smart and aware, unlike all of the sheep that call themselves fans~)

That's when I get frustrated for creators who make it big. Because how are they going to legitimately improve when they are inundated by nothing but sour grapes and purposeful discarding of media literacy?

But, I will end with this and it ties back into that scene mentioned above: the ones who have done nothing but complain and be negative and harp on and on? Even when they themselves will insist that no one should watch shows like this or give them any attention?

'This is the worst show ever! Everything about it sucks! I'm going to sit here and list everything bad that I encountered while watching!' '...But you did take time out of your day to watch.'

[pixies-and-poets]

In hindsight the Rabbids didn’t actually “steal” the Rayman series. As a kid I thought that but the actual answer is pretty mundane.

Every main Rayman game from Rayman 1 all the way to Rayman Legends has always been developed by Ubisoft Montpellier and Michel Ancel. Ubisoft Montpellier only developed 2 of the Rabbids games. Rayman Raving Rabbids and Rabbids Go Home. That’s only 2 entries in the Rabbids series which is nothing really. Keep in mind Rayman RR was originally Rayman 4 before they scrapped it.

Every other Rabbids game was made by Ubisoft Paris or other divisions of Ubisoft mainly by the studios who made the Just Dance series. Which makes sense cause most Rabbids games were mini game collection that were simple to create.

So what held Rayman up? From what I’ve seen nothing really tho the closest answer is likely that both Michel Ancel and Ubisoft Montpellier we’re busy on Beyond Good and Evil it was announced in 2008 and likely the entire team were focused on that. However if you know development trouble happened which held the studio up for quite some time. It was temporarily shelved which gave Ancel time to make Origins and Legends then he went back to BG&E 2 after Legends in 2017 where it was reintroduced but is now in development hell to this day.

Yep. I was young in an era when a major entry in my favorite game franchises could come out every year, or every other year. As I've gotten older, game dev has gotten more and more complex and lengthy due to a variety of factors. My awareness of that fact lagged behind the reality of it happening, but I am quite aware of it now, largely due to watching a lot of videos, reading a lot of articles and even having some friends at major studios.

I'm a Donkey Kong fan. Why has there been no new DK game in a decade? Has Nintendo totally given up on one of their major franchises? No, the rumors are that they leased it out to a third party studio, changed their minds, and started over in-house as they have a new vision for the DK series that they want to oversee. What's going on with Metroid Prime 4? Who knows. The game industry is such a mess I'm amazed we get any truly great passion projects out of major studios at all.

It's not as simple as "People want thing, make more of thing!" If fans want something, there are devs out there who want to make it too. Maybe even people for whom that series inspired them to get into the industry. But that doesn't mean it's going to end up happening. Still, it's why I think Rayman in the Phantom Show is so great, because the devs (at least a lot of the creative team) really did want to make it.

I feel like the idea that the Rabbids stole Rayman's franchise, and that Rayman died so the Rabbids could live, exists in that knowledge gap before understanding how complex everything is. Maybe it made sense for a time, but it really doesn't hold up to scrutiny now. Things aren't really a zero sum game like that, and so much has happened in the intervening years to contradict this idea.

It is funny, in my stream we were talking about how people don't really harp on this narrative so much anymore, with good reason... Only to have the most stereotypical "RABBIDS SUCK AND RAYMAN DESERVES BETTER" gamer show up like thirty minutes later, lol. Well, people will cling to the stories that help them make sense of the world, I suppose... Even if it makes them unhappy.

[magicalgirlmascot]

So uh. I've been moving all my playlists off Spotify and onto YouTube (and downloading the songs ~totally legally~ to have on my computer as well), and largely they're private because they're all OC playlists. HOWEVER. I do have a playlist for KNPS which I felt like people might get a kick out of. So here it is. Several of these were added when I moved the playlist off Spotify since a lot of them aren't available on Spotify, particularly video game soundtracks.

Track list (and reasoning) below the cut.

Move Along by the All-American Rejects I don't think I need to explain this one, actually.

School by Toby Fox (from Deltarune) Also kind of self-explanatory. This is music that I associate with Gali and Lewa's class, specifically.

A New Hero by Nathan Furst (from Mask of Light) I love the MoL soundtrack best of all the Bionicle movie soundtracks, so I had to include some of the songs from it here.

Old Friends (Bookends Theme) by Simon and Garfunkel Technically a harp/violin cover but shhh. Old Friends is a Turaga Metru song if ever there was one. This version is just very pretty :3

Wonderland Round 3 by Griffin McElroy (from The Adventure Zone) I'm gonna be honest I don't have an excuse for this one it just slaps.

As Above, So Below by Essenger and Cryoshell A very recent addition to the playlist. I don't think I need to explain this one either, actually.

Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants Takua song. Could not explain why if I tried.

Dreamer by Supertramp Vakama song, also Takua song. It's about someone with their head in the clouds, which applies to both of them in different (and similar) ways.

Friday I'm in Love by The Cure Matau song. Less in that it represents who he is as a character and more in that he's a classic rock guy who loves wandering into the office singing and whistling incredibly on the nose rock tunes.

Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel Nokama song. Also a Gali song. I mean listen to it, come on.

Rivers in the Desert by Lyn (from Persona 5) Boss music baby!!

Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush Music that Gali listens to when she's sad.

Toa Reunited and Death of Jaller by Nathan Furst (from Mask of Light) This is on here because of the "Toa Reunited" part I swear. Anyway one of my favourite songs on the MoL OST.

Samurai Heart (Some Like it Hot!!) by SPYAIR (from Gintama) Full disclosure I've never watched Gintama. However. Kohatu song.

Starlight Brigade by TWRP I mean. It's a song about saving the world. "I'd gladly give my life for one night as a justice acolyte" is also a banger line ngl

Supernatural Superserious by R.E.M. I associate this with Kopaka for some reason. Couldn't tell you why.

The Prophet's Song by Queen The most Vakama song ever. Written specifically for him everyone say thank you Freddie <3

The Touch by Stan Bush LISTEN.

The Last Desperate Struggle by Masakazu Sugimori (from Ghost Trick) This is the song I had on repeat while writing the "Lewa gets possessed" chapter.

Running in the 90s by Max Coveri Pohatu unironically listens almost exclusively to this kind of music. The man loves him some Eurobeat.

Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce Whenuju song. Was their first dance at their wedding. The lyrics are literally perfect for them. "I've looked around enough to know/you're the one I want to go through time with" IT'S THEM.

Unite (Redux) by Ron Wasserman (from Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers) YEAH A POWER RANGERS SONG WHAT ABOUT IT. First of all it's literally called Unite. Secondly Power Rangers and Bionicle are like brothers to me. Third and most important it fucks.

A Town Called Hometown by Toby Fox (from Deltarune) Sweet, quaint small town vibes (which is the point lmao). Fitting given that KNPS takes place in a sweet, quaint small town.

Wake Up, Get Up, Get Out There by Lyn (from Persona 5) I associate this with school because it used to be on the playlist I used when I got ready for work in the mornings. It's also a sentiment I can see Gali and Pohatu getting behind.

Wonder by Naughty Boy ft. Emelie Sande I think I first found this song on a Wonder Woman playlist lmao. It's basically about like, personal strength and stuff. Good song.

Working for the Weekend by Loverboy Another song Matau likes to whistle on Fridays.

Beach Chant by Justin Luchter (from MNOLG) Iconic early Bionicle music. Had to include it.

Lost One's Weeping by Afterglow Yes this is a cover of a Vocaloid song and yes it's from a fucking. Band anime or whatever. I like it. Also it's the school trauma song so on the school playlist it goes.

Lucretia by Griffin McElroy (from The Adventure Zone) Look, Lucretia and Nokama are very different people, but there's enough overlap (older female characters who struggle with keeping heavy secrets from the protagonists) that I feel pretty good putting her theme on here. Also Nokama would be the world's biggest Lucretia defender, we all know this in our hearts

SAVE the World by Toby Fox (from Undertale) YES another Toby Fox song. Anyway boss fight music hell yeah

The End by Justin Luchter (from MNOLG) Again, iconic early Bionicle music, really captures the feeling that some great victory has been achieved, at least for now.

Everytime We Touch by Cascada Tahu/Gali song. LOOK. It's a Tahu/Gali song okay

Village Bridge (with buildup) by Junichi Masuda (from Pokemon Black and White) Hands down one of the best tracks from the best Pokemon game. Again very small town vibes.

May add more to it, who knows.

[spacesunderstairs]

9 People You Want To Get To Know Better (Tag Game)

Thanks @mellybaggins for the tag!

First Ship: Astarion x Tav (specifically my tav, Halinae ha). I'm currently writing a slow burn!romance between them for a romance that typically moves fairly quickly in-game.

Second Ship: I've recently become intrigued by Shadowheart x Halsin. It's a bit of a rarepair from what I gather, but one that makes a lot of sense to me. (There's the delicious 'Halsin hates Shar' enemies-to-lovers angle + the fact they both love animals and canonically leave the city for rural life in their good endings... I just wanna see it explored more!)

Third Ship: Moving fandoms: I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for Aegnor x Andreth from Tolkien's broader works. Doomed lovers separated by immortality? Sign me up.

Last Song: So Heavy I Fell Through The Earth - Grimes (but the slowed + reverb version is better)

Last Movie/TV: I don't watch a ton of movies anymore! I think the last one I saw in theaters was Dune 2. I've been watching House of the Dragon (tv) recently, though some of the choices this season have had me scratching my head.

Currently Reading: Not as much as I'd like. It's been a busy month. I was reading "A Walk In The Woods" by Bill Bryson but I haven't had a chance to pick it back up lately. Too many social obligations.

Currently Eating: Oreossss

Currently Craving: Time off from the office enclosure and some free weekends to catch up on fic writing. (I am so close on this chapter...) ___

Other (extremely high pressure) tags: @masterangst, @its-jaytothemee, @fingons-rad-harp

[kyndaris]

An Introspective Lull in the Pursuit of Love

I have often found that it is quite easy for me to fall into new routines. Take this blog, for example. In the past, it would contain impressions of the games I'd played and finished, along with the occasional anecdotes I'd come up with that had been on my mind. As I started to date, many of my posts soon changed to revolve around my attempts to find love. But despite going at it for nigh on two years, I haven't felt closer to cracking the mystery that is romance even as I've flooded my weekly entries about my adventures.

As my love life dwindles though, I've been scrambling to find something fun and lighthearted to share with the dear readers I've accrued on my blog. Not that there's many.

Still, at least I now have the opportunity to opine about the state of the world or properly allow my errant thoughts some breathing room.

Of course, if you've read the title of this blog, you'll know that in this instance, my thoughts haven't strayed too far from the familiar.

Since I've started chronicling the dates I've gone on, it has come as no surprise that I don't regard myself as straight. There have been many a time wherein I've asserted that I sit somewhere on the asexual spectrum. But recent revelations on who I might be attracted to has had me scrambling on what it means to be in a relationship and the sacrifices one needs to make.

Although I've opened my preferences for all genders on Hinge, I've found it extremely hard to date or chat with people from unique backgrounds. Invariably, most of the people that tend to like my profile or who I actually respond are cisgender heterosexual men. Probably because they're the ones most active on the dating apps. And while conversations can start off strong, it almost always seems to fail. Whether it's because they're a bad texter and I find it hard to continue a conversation or they just stop responding altogether.

The only person I've kept up a steady communication with is Dikottir. And in fact, we might be venturing out to VIVID Sydney for a fifth date (at time of writing, VIVID has only just begun). But while this may seem promising, it comes with the caveat that we've technically met in person since August 2023, with our initial chat on Hinge back in July of that same year.

If ever there was a relationship that was the epitome of a slow burn, this would be it.

Perhaps it comes from the fact both of us have our own individual lives and interests. Or maybe neither of us know how to navigate the quagmire encapsulating relationships.

I know I certainly don't lead a very riveting life that requires constant chronicling/ updating to a third party I barely even know. Heck, not even my own mother asks me how my day has gone even after absconding to China and leaving me to care for my grandmother (although, if I'm being honest, there's not much to say on a daily basis anyways. I wake up, I work, I cook and then I go to bed after playing some video games).

Besides, it's not like I consider Dikottir my Roman Empire. There are just so many other things to preoccupy me: books, video games, shows, road trip planning...

To be fair, Dikottir has been nothing but a gentleman. But after years of having romance novels and films harp about a 'spark' or the 'chemistry' between two people, the word I'd use to describe my 'relationship' with Dikottir would be torpid. At best.

Still, I persist. Wondering if this 'thing' between us will ever work out. Although, if I was being truly honest with myself, I think it'll just end up being a friendship.

Hinge, and many other dating apps, simply aren't very conducive for me in building up a connection. Constant interactions in a shared environment or a neutral setting are some of the best places for me to slowly build up the foundation to a strong friendship.

And yet, there have been people I've met that I've felt an odd compulsive pull where I want to learn more about them. Alas, it's only happened with women. As I've detailed before in an earlier post, there have been women I've been drawn to, believing we could be the best of friends. Is that love? Or is it the makings of a crush?

I wish I knew. I wish there was a definitive definition of what it means to fall in love with someone so I could tick off the symptoms and diagnose myself with it instead of having people tell me: "you'll know it when it happens to you."

A part of me does want to believe this is me like-liking someone but discussions with Sorrengail, a fellow ace, has described these instances of obsession as a 'squish.' And, in almost all instances, my swift and sudden obsessive curiosity does fade.

But it is in those rare moments that I do wonder if there might be something more beyond the platonic.

These last few days, I've posited the theory to myself that maybe I'm questioning these 'squishes' as something more because my mind has been focused on trying to build relationships and finding a romantic partner. But the more I do, the more I fear what might become of an actual committed relationship.

How much of myself will I need to compromise? Will it have all been a waste of time if nothing eventuates? How do I know if someone likes me or not? What are the 'signals' that I should be looking out for?

I think for most people the start of a relationship is always fraught with a mixture of emotions: the desire to make a good impression and the fear the other person might not like the 'real' you. Especially if you immediately lean into the chaos gremlin dwelling inside the human exoskeleton.

It's certainly something I've thought about because even as a neurotypical person, I've often found myself portraying a heightened version of myself to different social circles. For example, I know I can't go into a deep dive about Kingdom Hearts lore at work because no-one else would appreciate the collision of Disney and Japanese role-playing games. And I don't talk about the books I read to many of my non-reader friends.

While these aren't exactly separate personas, these images of me that I project are tailored to the audience I'm with.

Yes, they are all me but they are me in different situations.

And there aren't many social circles where I feel comfortable enough to unleash the nose-booping, terrible picture-taking chaos gremlin menace that I really am on the inside. At least, I'm not comfortable with showing off that side of me.

Although, yes, there are people at work who know I'm a big massive nerd. And who are a little frightened of my ability to memorise addresses.

I also have a tendency of phrasing things terribly. So, there might be a subset of people I know who fear for their lives (looking at you Chinchilla) even though I wouldn't hurt a fly (that's a lie. I kill a lot of insects).

Jokes aside, I'm also worried I've entered this race for all the wrong reasons. Love isn't something to be pursued. You can't force it. It either comes naturally or it doesn't. But maybe, too, I need to stop being oh so cautious and just jump in with both feet if I do feel something.

As Ellie Chu, from the film The Half of It put it: love isn't patient and kind and humble. Love is messy and horrible and selfish and bold. It's not finding your perfect half. It's the trying and the reaching and failing. Love is being willing to ruin your good painting for the chance at a great one."

Maybe that's what I need to do. Instead of comparing and contrasting Hinge profiles to see who might be a good fit and letting my executive functioning do most of the work, I should lean into my instincts. Instead of fearing that a relationship won't work out, I need to fight in the trenches for it.

And whether or not love will hit me over the head with a hammer or sneak up on me like an assassin, I need to be open to it.

Easier said than done!

But hey, that's life, isn't it?

[pb-dot]

Last Voyage Of The Demeter

It's honestly a bit of a wonder that nobody has done something like this before. The doomed voyage of The Demeter is a small piece of the overall story, but it is very much a story within the story, and even though the ending is a bummer and kind of a given, there are enough turns there to make a decent horror movie and at least one very memorable character in the form of The Demeter's captain whose final middle finger to his Transylvanian passenger is pretty iconic

Anyway, I was pretty excited to watch this movie, partially because I'm re-experiencing Dracula along with the rest of the world through Dracula Daily and partially because the director is Andre Øverdal, whose career I've been gleefully paying attention to since Troll Hunter in 2010 and, perhaps more salient to this movie, the locked room chiller The Autopsy of Jane Doe.

As for the results, it was certainly a decent attempt. From an adaptation standpoint, it was a mixed bag. While some choices were unexpected but decidedly sensical, like the decision to use less of the Debonaire and Devilish Dracula and more of the Fucked Up Man-Bat Dracula, others I didn't love but understood, like doing the "vampires and thralls burn like hell at the slightest brush of sunlight" thing. Some choices, however, did feel like they were motivated by a series of studio notes. One such presumably noteborn idea is having the landlubber characters of Mr. Clemens and Anna taking the lead on the whole thing, one presumes to not spend too much time with salty sailors in this salty sailors having a bad time movie.

Other decisions still seem more like Øverdal seeing what he could get away with, like including a child in this doomed journey for no other apparent reason than to tell the moviegoing public he isn't afraid to put some child murder on screen. As far as transgressiveness goes it's not paradigm-shatteringly huge, but he'll get some point for having me wonder if he's actually going through with this child peril business.

In general, the horror in this movie works decently, although I do feel we're given too much of Dracula's gnarly ass too early. I know references to the shark basically not being in 75% of Jaws are practically a cliche at this point, but it keeps being harped on because it works and so many horror movies forget that no matter how good your FX is, it's nothing to the power of growing paranoia. Granted, Drac has a few tricks up his fleshy sleeves to save for the finale, and seeing those tricks unfurl it's pretty rad, but I would be happy with sacrificing some screentime from the feature character for some tension-building.

From a cinematography standpoint, the movie works fine. Some of the day-for-night-looking business in the third act does strain the suspension of disbelief a tad, but I appreciate the effort put into a movie that is for the most part perceivable to the eye in a generation where more and more horror movie ADs seemingly go "It's dark, because dark is scary, right?" without thinking much on the people who try to watch the thing.

When we are talking aesthetics though, I would say Demeter's biggest sin is choosing to give the Count's blood draining the most comically overstated Glugg Glugg-noise I have heard outside of depictions of thirsty Looney Tunes drinking water. Like, I get using sounds the audience might be familiar with as a base, but when I expect your very scary horror villain to eventually tilt his head back and go "Ahhhh" then it might be time to reconsider.

So in short, I wouldn't call Last Voyage of The Demeter an instant classic or anything, but it's entertainingly pulpy gorefest of the kind late summer is made for in my opinion. I could have done with more gore actually, but it could be that the two new Evil Dead movies have desensitized me somewhat. Also, you know what they say, Waste Not, Want Not.

[nessbarbecue]

11-30-23 10:35 AM

I'm mad because my teacher is being sassy to me!!! Same teacher as last time. I was on my phone because I have nothing else to do and she was snooty about it instead of just normally telling me to put it away like every other teacher does. I have everything turned in but she hasn't even graded any of it. If she wants to get after me for having a low grade maybe she should actually grade the stuff instead of sneaking up on kids and harping on them like the control freak she is. She's always like, *you have to remind me and let me know when stuff is turned in,* no! I'm not gonna do your job for you. It clearly says on the page that all of it is turned in, and I'm fairly sure it sends her an email when I turn stuff in automatically too. I'm mad. Anyways. I'm gonna eat a snack right now in her class out of retaliation because she hates when people eat in her class. Even if it leaves no crumbs or anything. She's just a control freak. As I previously mentioned. I really just want to go home. I've had a really rough couple of days and we're moving in five days and I'd much rather be at home packing my things into boxes than at school. My mom says I can just walk home if I feel like it, but skipping makes me feel bad... Besides, my favorite class is the very last period. Annoying. If it was my first period, I'd just do that and then go home. Every day. It's IB art. The teacher is super nice, and she lets me use her art supplies, and sometimes even lets me take them home. A few days ago she let me take home a bunch of donated tubes of paint, like twelve of them. They were all super weird in-between colors, no primaries. Stuff like ochre, teal, dark green, pink, etc. I couldn't imagine an advanced art class with a mean teacher. That just kills all your inspiration. I hate my graphic design teacher because of just that, and I loathe coming to this class. Anyways. Today I have a tiny bag of almonds that Kenny's mom gave to me a week or so ago. I snagged them on the way out the door to school because I always get hungry in this class. I really just want to go home. I want to be especially methodical with packing my stuff, because my mom and I struggle to find stuff when it's packed because we never label the boxes. I would go all out on the labelling. I have sticker paper that I could write lists of items on, and then stick it to the side of the box. I could even put tape over the paper to make it secure. I'm excited to move because I want to get a job. I would love to have more spending money. Love love love. There's so much I want to buy. I want to get an office chair for my desk, because right now I'm using a super hard piano bench that really hurts my back. I would like to get myself a haircut because my hair is TO MY BACK. Genuinely the longest it's been in a decade. I would buy a water bottle because my mom threw all the plastic ones I was using away, and I don't actually have a washable water bottle. I'm not sure what kind I would want to get, though. There's so many kinds you can get. I guess I don't really have a preference. I would buy a TON of stickers. You can find stickers for so cheap on Amazon and I bet I could find cheap stickers on AliExpress too. I love stickers SO much. I love scrapbooking and sketchbooking. It makes me so happy. If I had enough spending money, I'd probably also indulge in some secondhand anime figures, too.. I can't help myself when I see super cheap ones online. I think they're so cute. I have three of them right now, so impressive I know. The first one I got was of Madoka, where she's got her hands together and she's just standing. I think it's pretty common because I see it everywhere. I got it for $15 off eBay. My second one is of Asuka from Evangelion, my friend Dia got it for me off of Mandarake. She's in her school uniform and she's got one hand up to her face and one kind of out to her side. The third one I just recently bought a couple weeks ago, and it's Iroha from Magia Record. That one was also $15. I see so many cute Madoka Magica figures on Mercari for cheap that I wish I could buy.

[crystalelemental]

What’s dumb about the whole dont ship Caitlin/Cynthia thing is that BW takes place 12 years after DP. Meaning if Caitlin was 14, she would be 26 as an elite four member

That's definitely one of the big stupids, though my biggest hangup is that I have never, ever seen anything that cites her age as 14 officially. I know Bulbapedia lists it as such, but their citation is a blog post. Where, admittedly, I cannot read Japanese, so I can't translate it. But the images presented are all coming from Black and White, and don't have anything at all to do with Caitlin barring her appearance on I assume a popularity poll? Basically, nothing to do with ages. The whole "Was 14 in DPPt" is made up. I've never seen confirmation of this. Ever. Though I also don't know any confirmation of 12 years being the official time lapse between the two games. That seems to be based on some dex entries from the Porygon line which talk about years elapsed, and is based on real world years since the Pokemon came out. And the link to their official timeline discussion on Bulbapedia openly admits that the series creator doesn't have a rigid timeline, just "came before/came after." Literally no one making the series thought about this, it's fans working backwards on estimations from an unreliable dex that constantly makes shit up, like how half the fire types breathe fire hotter than the sun. I'm sorry for harping on all of this being made up, but this is what bothers me most. The entire premise and reason this is such a "problematic" ship is the age gap that is, and I cannot stress this enough, FUCKING MADE UP.

But even if it were true, I've further never seen any confirmation of Cynthia's age. Even Bulbapedia doesn't hazard a guess. People just assume "20s." Despite the most iconic master of Pokemon being a 10-year-old. I'm not saying there's no age gap at all, but I think people also jump very quickly to Cynthia being much older, when we have...nothing to confirm that. At all.

But the third issue is exactly as you say. Presumably, they didn't meet in DPPt. They would've met after events, sometime in Unova. When they're both adults. So it's absurd to complain about this at that point.

The whole thing drives me insane if I think about. So I try not to think about it. But then you go looking for art of your favorites and it's like oh right. This again. Thanks, prevailing fandom theory. I can always count on these to remind me why I don't like engaging in fandom broadly.

[dodger-chan]

🛒 and ✨ for the ask game!

Recurring elements? Other than my particular sense of humor? I do try to always be at least a little funny even in my most depressing of fics.

I don't think I'm a very thoughtful writer, so I don't consciously have go to imagery/scenes. I'm obsessed with Stranger Things at the moment, so I do like to harp on the homophobia of the period and how it harms the characters. I tend to form a loose, somewhat flexible headcanon for a fandom and draw on that for multiple fics, so things like Eddie reading the Queen Mab speech and Steve being unexpectedly into that may show up multiple times. Also, I have at some point deleted the phrase "fuck Reagan" from every fic I've written that's set in the 80s. It rarely fits the story, but I always want to say it.

Compliment my own writing? Ugh, fine. I tend to write in a tight, third-person limited pov, and I think I'm good at sticking to that. Every thought come from the pov character and I don't use words or references that character wouldn't know. I hope the end result of that is consistent characterization, because I think that's what I'm doing. I also think I'm pretty funny, but there's definitely a your mileage may vary there.

[ash-stacy]

Ash Stacy Nerd Hour!

Issue #01-Super Metroid

Welcome to The Ash Stacy Video Game Hour, something new that I'll be trying out.! So what is this even? Well to no ones suprise i am a huge nerd. And this little collum which i will also post on my website once i make it will be me talking about... whatever! As long as its nerd stuff! Could be a movie i watched, a video game i beat or any topic that interests me. Sometimes multiple per issue!

On tonights episode we'll start off small talking about a video game i beat 5 minutes ago as of writing this paragraph!

Super Metroid is a game that most of you have probably already heard a bit about. Possibly due to the announcement of prime 4 or due to its massive fanbase and speedrunning community. It's the third mainline game in the Metroid saga and stars Samus Aran after the events of Metroid 2, or Metroid Samus Returns, they both ckcer the same events so take your pick. After giving the baby metroid to the space fedaration it is kidnapped by Ridley! Samus must track it down and find it. That's all i'll say about the story for now. If you haven't played the game, go play it and then come back. Or don't. I'm not a cop.

"But Ash! What did YOU think of the game" Well im getting to it be patient. I found the game to be a delight, although i had to use a walkthrough for the end game it was a great experience, sprite work was beautiful and the gameplay was fun yada yada we all know this game is great. 9 john metroids out of 10.

Anyways time for the hate because it is fresh.

Mother Brain is the worst boss fight in history*

*exaggerated for comical effect, I played the orignal Megaman i've fought worse.

The boss starts the moment you enter a hallway and get attacked by yellow... circles... Hey i knew that megaman refrence was relevant! But you can destroy the circles so not that bad right? Wrong. Most thing you can destroy in this game drop hp or missiles. Not theese things. No. That would be kind. And Nintendo R&D1 is not kind. Theese balls drop nothing, spawn constantly and prevent you from breaking the barriers which require missiles to destroy. If you run out of missiles in that room then too bad. Perish. And then after you get pass that you get to Mother brain, who's glass can only be hurt by missiles.

After doing that tedious process of being kicked into lava and trying to not miss you go to phase 2 were she can be hurt by charge beams, because you will most likely be out of missiles. Then you have a actually fun time dodging the boss and retaliating until the rainbow beam. If you have 299 hp left you will not win the boss fight. You will automatically die. Of course this clever game desing the more energy tanks you collected the easier the boss is so i wont harp on it to much but i died so many times to that so i get to be comically angry. And then Big Boy Metroid saves you and Samus keeps up the record of blowing up every planet she steps foot on. You also save some cute animals.

Aside from that great game, the physics were a bit wonky and i have no idea how to time the space jump and i hsed a walkthrough for the latter half but great game will replay it one day!

See you... next time i think something up!

[eucalyprhodes]

Today, I was reminded of my dream job and how that quickly turned into my nightmare 😅

I think I've talked about the what and why I pursued it and why I left. But I don't think I've ever talked about the absolute stage of desperation that I was in. I think because frankly, I am embarrassed ... and you'll see why.

January 2021, on my last semester of grad school, I FINALLY got a job interview with a local private Christian University. For context, I have gotten interviews from this university for 2 different roles prior. and both interviews, I have already made it to the final stage. Both roles however, were not academic advisor, so the rejection, though painful, was still bearable. January 2021 was the very first academic advising interview that I had since I started on this journey. Unfortunately, this time, I didn't even make it to the second and third interview. I guess my first interview was not that great? (2 years later, I found out via LinkedIn that my interviewer ended up being let go from the institution. That was eerie). I was so done with this university though.

June 2021, I had just finished grad school and had such high hopes. I thought this time, I surely will get to be an academic advisor. I have years of relevant experience, I have my shiny masters degree, I'm ready! I got an interview with one of my dream university for an academic advisor for the college of business. GREAT! I love business students, I have toured the business building so often, I was so excited for it. I went through 3 rounds of interview only to get rejected yet again. At this time, I have already feeling all the pain and emotion from 5 years of rejection, so I actually wrote an email to the DIRECTOR of that department, asking why I didn't get the job! She gave me some weird roundaround answer that didn't make sense to me at all. Oh , and this whole process took about 2 months so there's that.

September 2021, another interview with the same university from June! Academic Counselor for a special population program. I was so excited because I thought this is exactly what I was hoping for! I'll get to work with underserved, first-gen students and this is exactly why I got into advising! I went through three rounds of interviews and by first week of October, I'm just waiting ..

I remember doing this embarrassing thing. On Sundays, I would drop off my husband at church because he serves and I'd go to the second service. While waiting for second service to start, I would drive to the campus because it's nearby, I would park and literally, PRAY over the school. I would pray loudly and boldly (in my car though), I cried and prayed and cried again. It was my alone time with God to really be honest and cry out to him. I think one time, campus security almost approached me but I saw them coming so I left right away. I figured I have nothing to lose so this is my last desperate attempt to get God to finally give me what i want.

and He did! He loves me that much that He graciously gave me this one thing that I wanted in the past 5 years. Only to find out almost immediately, that this career is not for me and I will never be happy and fulfilled here.

Why did I share this?

Because I want you to know that God does answer prayers, even for things that He knows will not be good for us BUT He knows we'll learn from it. Why didn't God just prevent me from getting my dream job if He knew I won't like it anyways? Because He knows that without that job, I would not be where I am today. He knows that I needed to be in that job, to see the reality of how that career pathway does not align with mine anymore, and because He knew this experience would bring a new perspective in my life, one that would grow my faith in Him. Our God is so good and smart, and today, I was reminded of that.

This is an excerpt from Pastor Jack Hibbs' book

"If what you want is against what God wants but you keep harping on it (basically NAGGING God for it), eventually, you'll probably get it. When you get it, it will be your demise, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself"

If I didn't experience the biggest disappointment in my professional life, I wouldn't return back to HR. If I didn't experience this, my faith journey would be different. God knows every moment of my life and He perfectly crafted this time so that I can grow to trust Him more.

and now, I need to apply it to this season of trusting God about my desire to conceive. These past few months have been difficult to say the least, learning how to deal with my feelings and emotions over the fact that everyone else gets pregnant (might I add, not even struggling to be one) while my husband and I have making all conscious efforts to get pregnant. However, recently, I came to realize AND remember, what we ask doesn't always come into fruition and that is okay because God knows what's best for us.

If I nag and beg and cry out to God for a child right now, He probably will eventually give me one but it might not be the best thing for me in that season. And I know in my heart deep down, we're not ready for a child. Financially, emotionally, spiritually. There's a lot of things I need to work on before accepting the greatest and hardest responsibility in this earth. So today, I can peacefully say I understand. Whether a child will come into my life or not, I understand because it's God's plan and God has the final say. I don't want to force my desire on God, I don't want to force my timeline on God because He is in full control and I am okay with it.

If you have been struggling with unanswered prayers, just know that God knows what He's doing, EVEN IF it is so heckin HARD sometimes. Do you know how many times I cried in August because of pregnancy announcements around me? too much to count LOL But they all had to happen, because they brought me down to my knees, and that's when I find comfort in our Lord, Jesus Christ.

I hope this blog encourages you <3

[fatmclassic]

On to how big how blue how beautiful now. I enjoy most of this album,it's more grounded lyric wise than before but still has the biblical and myrh metaphors throughout. She was trying to channel male artists her whole career and she comes closest on this album. The addition a brass section was a dream come true for me, I watched the original teaser over and over for that finish. I like the angrier tone in some songs here. It was also developed with a desire to move on from the ceremonial/lungs sound and it accomplishes that.

Ship to wreck as an opener. On an album where she wasn't allowed to write about water. Ok. Well the verse about killer whales and sharks is cool. But it's a fairly weak opener by her standards. A safe, Fleetwood Mac kind of track. But the chorus is weak, ship to wreck over and over isn't exactly catchy. The music video is neat though, a glimpse into her house. 5/10

What kind of man is a much better track. It's introduces the rock aspect and the brass. The distorted vocals at the start are new for her and it works well with the sinister choir. This reminds me of old pre lungs Florence, angry with guitars. It does have the weakest lyric sadly 'dont let me dangle at a cruel angle' still makes me cringe. The video for this is a bit uncomfortable with the dungeon section. There's an acoustic version somewhere with the harp where she seethes during this song and it's worth seeking out 9/10

Title track now and gonna be honest, most of this song is a bit bland to me. Iirc I think it has something to do with Felix baumgartner doing that space jump but can't be sure. It is the first song to name a real life location,. marking a change in her writing. The ending though is fucking sublime, a real career standout. Tbh, I usually just skip to the end when this comes up. 7/10

Queen of peace is an old style Florence song with a new brass section. It's a story telling kind of song, lots of drums, back to the fantasy imagery. One of my favourites on this album. I quite liked the video on a Scottish island, as I was living in Scotland at the time. A dramatic tale and it was great live too. 10/10

VS&S is her first properly stripped back song, for the most part. I know a lot of people love this. I do like it, but I prefer the other quieter songs on this album. Some very delicate vocals, that grow stronger as it goes on. 6/10

Delilah kind of sounds like it could fit on lungs imo. Drums, biblical references, stomps and clapping. It's a very primal song, driving by percussion and vocals. I love the fast pace of it. I guesz this might be connected to her love of dance inspired by Pina Bausch she discovered while recording this. 7/10

Long and lost is my favourite of the slower tracks here. I really like the choir in the background. Tbh I think it could have done fine with just the choir. She restrains herself a lot more on this track, but it kind of get overlooked on favour of Vs&s. 7/10

I used to fucking hate caught. I've been pretty mean about it. I found it goofy. I like it a bit more now, probably because I've listened to more artists that inspired it. But it's overshadowed by better songs on this album, and it's does sound a bit generic. Biblical references here again. Not as bad as I remember, but still nothing special. Her vocals are quite sweet here, but the music isn't interesting. And it could be shorter 5/10

Third eye and it's handclaps, thumping drums and an upbeat vibe, I see this as another dog days, hbhbhb style. It's catchy though, and the brass saves this from being generic. And I really love that scene in the video where Rob comes in. The lyrics are quite personal, about her newfound sobriety and calmer lifestyle 8/10

Then heart beat from cosmic love returns in this much more laid back at Jude. I think this was Anne's after a storm that happened at the time of recording. See, she can do restraint everybody. Another song about moving on from chaos. This song flows along at a nice steady pace, never swelling onto that typical Florence finish. 6/10

This album was inspired by a lot of 60s and 70s acts and Mother seems like the most obvious tribute to that. The album version doesn't so mux for me but the live version has the brass that improves it so much. But going purely by the album it's a 6/10

Hiding is a song that seems to be a fan favourite and I tbh I'm a little lost as to why that is. It's ok, the harp is more prominent here and I know people where missing that on this album. Lyrics are ok, nothing groundbreaking. I don't dislike it,but never quite got the hype for this one and I still don't. It's doesn't fit with the album so I can see why it's a deluxe extra. 5/10

Make up your mind has Florence as an executioner. Unique concept. Water references again. And the harp is back too. I like it a bit more than hiding,but it's just ok. 6/10

Which witch. The cast off from that scrapped album so many want. Doesn't fit here at all, more at home on ceremonials or lungs but I'm glad we have it, and it feels fairly complete for a demo. The drama here reminds me more of breath of life than anything else. Again, a song some people say is self parody, but I love it. If Florence doesn't write orchestral songs about witches who will?9/10.

Pure feeling, a pleasant song. A bit Fleetwood Mac lite. The harp is back here. Shame it's a stupid exclusive for some American shop 🙄. I don't like it as much as I remember though. A bit bland 6/10

Conductor is another exclusive. Another meta song. I don't like the piano in this song, no real reason, I just don't like it. Not too bothered this is exclusive honestly 4/10.

I am very fucking bothered about as far as I can get being exclusive however, a vinyl b-side to this day, what the fuck. It's another restrained song, but it's done so well. Far more grounded and realistic lyrics here. It's just cool and one of my top fatm songs. 10/10.

Stand by me. Florence covers this with a harp accompanying. Pretty much it. I don't like this song, never did and still don't. 1/10.

Too much is never enough. A dramatic song for a video game. It's pretty good, if a bit too long and I rarely return to it 6/10

I will be is more of an atmosphere building track than a song in it's own right. Not played the game but it's quite nice. 7/10

I love you all the time. A charity single that doesn't change much. It's fine. 5/10

Wish that you where here is a other one people seem to love but again I don't share that sentiment. It's good, but doesn't grab my attention. Could have been shorter 5/10

So I still really love this album.Though I still don't really get the oddysey music video's and I doubt I ever will. It showed that she could do restraint and grounded lyrical imagery if she felt like it. The biblical imagery is still present though.Her soul/rock inspirations are more clear here.

[tgirlhawkins]

pspsps 10, 22, 41 but the mizukage instead? for the ask game :3c

10. if you were a jounin team leader, who would you want as your genin?

hinata (no force on earth would stop me from killing hiashi if i was a shinobi. i would adopt her.) and hnn idk if i would want the rest of team 8 bc i am deathly afraid of bugs and don't love dogs but i would feel bad for breaking up her team :(

wait i have a concept: hinata, sasuke, and ranmaru. the most eyeballest team.

WAIT NO haku kimimaro and ranmaru. im silly. of course an all kiri orphan team. they are not the same age as each other but that's fine, what two traumatized fifteen year olds don't want a traumatized eight (ten??) year old to hang out with

22. favorite ninja weapon

*gestures to all of the legendary seven swords* they are all so special to me ;A; i have made just an atrocious amount of art i've made w/ them, they're on my shoes, they were in my art history homework last semester, they're in my art final this semester. they all mean a lot to me but i guess if i had to choose a fav it would be samehada. somethnig so special about a sword that is also a creature.

honorable mention to isari and seiren's weapons though. the swordfish spear is cool even if it is kind of a samehada rehash, and the manta ray sound-controlled bow o///o part of what makes it so cool is probably that the episode it was in was Really really good but it's so pretty. it's got a little heart. :)

(images of the bow for ppl who haven't seen it, it's shaped like a ray with a heart in the middle and four gill-shaped holes radiating out from it. it has a "mouth" where the chakra "arrows" shoot from, and there's an open part behind the heart with three strings to be played like a harp.)

41. rank all 7 hokage 6 mizukage

oh boy

6. (worst) if we are to believe that the third mizukage created the bloody mist graduation system then yeah. him

5. yagura. he did a bad job but it wasn't his fault :( who knows why oh bee toes did what he did but it sure did mess with grampy's run huh

4. byakuren. we don't know anything about his policies or anything but i do not trust him

3. gengetsu. don't know what he did either. it wasn't the bloody mist though and in my head he did good things

2. i honestly didn't think chojuro would get this high a placement honestly as good a lad as he is he has made some questionable decisions as mizukage. but a) everyone before him is either an almost completely blank slate or had the worst administration in all of naruto, and b) it would be very hard for any reasonable person to do a better job given the circumstances. it kind of seems like our man keeps making plays and getting put in check. he's got plenty of time to turn it around tho.

mei. self explanatory i would say

[mistwraiths]

2 stars

This is the third and final book in the Cursebreaker series. I'm not going to do a quickly summary.

Two stars felt REALLY generous here. I am about to SCREAM.

I felt like I'm in one of those Am I The Asshole? Reddit boards reading this book because it sure felt like EVERYBODY SUCKS HERE.

I will get the good things out of the way first. Brigid's writing is quick and easy enough for me to keep me reading and engaged. And she definitely kills people and I like when there's actual deaths and stakes. That's all Iiked about this book unfortunately.

I'm honestly baffled how this could be a good conclusion to a series because it feels like two characters get more than they deserve for absolutely no reason other than the author likes them maybe?? Also the ending didn't feel resolved? After all this tension and conflict, they're trading jokes in a few weeks?? I'm jumping ahead though.

It's weird to me how this series turned from a really interesting Beauty and the Beast retelling with a great female lead who had cerebral palsy to pretty much Grey is the GREATEST CHARACTER EVER series. I've never been a fan of Grey mostly because he's never had much of a personality for me. I'm told he's kind and loyal, but I have heavy grievances when this guy used to bring women to Rhen forever and sometimes be able to protect him (I let it slide because whatever) and then when he's free and learns something crucial, he flees? But readers, that's second book nonsense that still comes up every few pages.

One of the worst things is that nothing really ever happens in AVSBAD until the end. These guys are just waiting for sixty days to get to war and... THAT'S IT! Pretty much everything that happens in this book is introspection and retrospection, and everyone literally being like: oh I forgot we make mistakes or are forced to do some things and I completely forgot that you who I have known for awhile now are capable of doing good things or have done good things!!!

Folks, I was almost looking forward to Lilith showing up because at least there was some god damn excitement. Almost. I still hate her though.

I absolutely cannot stand how my boy, Rhen, was treated through this book. This man who slept consensually with a woman who then turned him into a monster and TORTURED him relentlessly for an eternity, whose only bad fortune was being cursed and really didn't have the opportunity to be the King properly, who put Emberfall first EVERY SINGLE TIME, who took torture onto himself to spare others from harm, WAS ABLE TO SAVE THE DAY and made ONE (1) bad choice means he should be vilified for most of the entire book and then NOT GET TO HAVE A HAPPY ENDING OR AT LEAST BE KING???

You're telling me that Grey who got the fuck out of dodge and didn't tell anyone through the truth after we're told he's so LOYAL and allows a kid to be whipped with him even though he had LOTS of opportunity to come clean (wow so kind), who ran away and allied up with the people who hate his own brother, who um... is a  bastard and by MOST EVERY BOOK/KNOWLEDGE/SHOW INVOLVING ROYALTY MEANS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING bastards don't have a right to the throne and in no way is this cleared up (I would have dropped this easily if it was mentioned!!), who has no training or again loyalty to his people or Emberfall because he literally didn't think about them once lol, gets to be King? UGH. Also why does everyone love him and want him? What has he done for them to do that?? Why isn't other leaders (lords?? Grand Marshals?) vying for the throne instead? That makes more sense.

On top of that, we don't really get much depth of Grey's magic which is sad. His whole these soldiers need to respect me storyline is boring.

I really loved Lia Mara in the second book. I found her unassuming and smart. She knew how to handle herself. What the hell happened? Suddenly, all she does is sit and sigh and worry. She's crippled by her insecurity and inaction. And then we are continually reminded that's she is going to rule with kindness and compassion,and not violence or fear to the point where I felt like that boy being forced to eat cake in Matilda. I get it!! Honestly, she doesn't do much of anything. Except, barf, get pregnant. The part where she did NOTHING when someone spit at her was ridiculous. You can rule without violence or fear and not accept that behavior.

Harper feels sidelined again in this book,  and it's honestly tragic that the two main female characters are just THERE. The relationship between her and Rhen felt incredibly fraught with tension and while they had hard conversations, it didn't feel great.

I honestly hated every character's hot takes and opinions about stuff. It always really felt like everyone just thinks the worst of everyone, and then wants to harp about the things done in the past. And of course, focus only on Rhen's bad choice than Grey's betrayal or how awful Syhl Shallow was to Emberfall from before.

The ending just felt slapped together. Rhen is literally floundering and acting morose because he doesn't know what to do or move forward, but Grey has a drink with him, has some jokes, and says oh I need your help reading people and being my advisor. And that's it. Grey and Lia Mara get too GOOD of a happy ending. It feels like Harper and Rhen have to figure out what happens next.

I loved the first book, but I think I could have lived without the other two books.