#I love Gerri she’s a bad bitch

[your-mums-nuts]

One day I’m going to talk about Caroline Collingwood’s line:

“Your father never saw anything he loved that he didn’t wanna kick it just to see if it would still come back.”

And how it applies to Roman.

Roman Roy, who tried so hard to be as brutal as his father. Roman Roy, who had fallen into an easy rapport with Gerri, who smiled at her presence, defended her to his personal hero. Roman Roy, who tried to get the woman he loved to tell him that he was just as good as his dad, ignoring the obscenity that was putting ‘Logan Roy’ and ‘good’ in a sentence together. Roman Roy, who fired her when she didn’t.

Gerri Kellman, who wasn’t dumb enough to come back.

[ichorai]

hell, yeah ; roman roy ; part five (m).

pairing ; roman roy x f!reader

synopsis ; pain was an old friend for the both of you.

words ; 10.9k

themes ; angst, fluff, drama, slowburn, smut, childhood friends to lovers

warnings / includes ; depictions of mental and physical abuse, mentions of death, a lot of sexual/suicidal jokes and general foul language, a lot of business talk, unprotected penetrative sex, roman’s implied demisexuality, dick pics and weddings

a/n ; and that's the end of s3!

series masterlist. main masterlist.

Roman had gotten into the habit of sending you pictures of his dick every now and then. Apparently, having sexual intercourse with Roman also entailed an afterparty consisting of dick pics and filthy messages. Not that you weren’t enjoying them, he really had a pretty cock—but you were growing increasingly paranoid that people, maybe hackers, maybe curious coworkers looking over your shoulder, were going to find out about the salacious pictures and texts he’d been sending you. And how bad would it look to have people find out your boss was sending you pictures of his penis? 

Maybe it was his way of getting you to stay. Really, it just translated to: Hey, look at my dick! Remember this? We fucked, do you remember that? Do you like it? Please tell me you like it.

You found it strangely endearing, in a way. A lot of emphasis on strange.

And now, as you were just settling into the lovely, spacious room in Italy for Caroline’s wedding, your phone buzzed in your pocket. 

Another dick pic. How lovely. You smiled down at your screen as you replied with:

looking great ro :)

A second later, you asked: you going down for welcome drinks?

Yup, he texted back. I’ll come by.

Not three minutes later, he swung your door open without bothering to knock, peeking his head through. He was dressed in rather casual attire for a wedding event—pale blue slacks, a white shirt, and an unbuttoned canary-hued top. 

“You dressing down as a way to tell your mom you don’t approve?” you queried as you smoothed down your own pantsuit, a soft shade of purple over a cream turtleneck. 

“Fuck you. You look great, by the way. Like a jizzed-up grape,” Roman snorted, linking your arm with his when you stepped out. “I need to talk to her about getting a prenup—this Munion character is a walking fucking sinkhole. Shiv is being an avoidant bitch about it.”

A hum fell from your lips as the two of you began making your way downstairs and out to the gardens, where the event was taking place. “Shiv’s always been more prickly when it comes to Caroline. It’s a warped mirror to her, you know?”

“She’s my mom, too. I get it,” Roman said with a shrug. He didn’t, not really.

The two of you spotted Caroline chatting with Peter, and you nudged Roman into their direction. After pleasant greetings were exchanged (well, less pleasant on Roman’s end), you excused yourself from the rather tense atmosphere to go walk around and grab a few drinks and bites of food. You knew Roman would be confronting Caroline on the prenup and his distaste for Peter, and you really didn’t want to be around for that hot mess.

Instead, you found yourself engaged in a lovely conversation with a pretty, raven-haired woman about the last book you’ve read, genuinely interested in what she had to say. The joy was short-lived, however, because Shiv stormed up to you, only barely apologizing to the woman before dragging you away.

“What? What’s going on?” you asked, incredulous. 

“Check Matsson’s Twitter. Jesus. What the fuck is going on, do you know? Is this a move of some sort?” 

Pulling out your phone, you quickly opened up his profile, reading the latest tweet. 

Going to Macau. Feeling lucky. 

You narrowed your eyes. Soon enough, Gerri and Roman appeared, the former looking apprehensive and the latter in more denial. 

“It could be nothing,” Roman said, which made Shiv narrow her eyes. “Fucking social media fireworks.”

“He’s always been one to tweet bullshit when he’s high off his ass,” you tried to reason, reading the five words over again. “Remember that time he said he was going to release his sex tape? That blew over in a few days.”

Clearing her throat, Gerri argued back, “Well, yeah, it could be bullshit. Or it could be him trying to up his price.”

“Is he just rocking the boat or is he trying to blow up the deal?” Shiv asked. 

From behind his wife, Tom chimed in, “Maybe he’s just going to Macau, and he just happens to feel lucky.”

Roman stepped away to leave Matsson a voice message, because none of his calls were going through. You sucked in a breath, wondering if you wasted an entire evening at Kendall’s disaster of a birthday party just for Matsson to fuck you over the ass. 

God, you hated him.

After sending a few messages, Roman popped up beside you. “I don’t know, he’s a fucking trickster. It’s nothing.”

“Mmkay, so is he going to steal our watches and saw the fucking deal in half?” Shiv deadpanned.

“Hm. Maybe,” Roman reluctantly drawled.

A frown pinched her lips thin. “You’re supposed to be inside this, Roman.”

“I am inside this. Leave it. Why don’t you go find someone else’s dick to tug on? Oh, sorry Tom, didn’t see you there.” 

They were bickering like children, as they often did. Tom blinked in mild confusion.

“Hey, okay, why don’t we get in contact with his PR team instead of him? They’re supposed to be working with us on this. None of this should be leaking onto personal accounts until the deal is met,” you calmly said. Gerri nodded, sending message after message to Karolina to get on their asses.

Though, it was far harder to stay calm when Kendall approached the group, face sullen, his phone held out to show Matsson’s twitter. To your surprise, his head was now shaven.

“Matsson going nut-nut, huh?” It was said as if it was supposed to be a joke, but his voice was monotonous, and his exterior cold. “Keep a hold of that shit, bro.”

“It’s all under control, motherfucker,” Roman hissed. “And where are you off to? Going to go score some junk in Naples?”

Kendall didn’t show any reaction to that. “No, just our mother throwing me out of her party.”

“Oh,” Roman replied. “Nice.”

“Where are my kids?” Kendall asked, before wandering off to go search for them.

Rolling his eyes, Rome snickered, “What a surprise—Ken doesn’t know where his kids are.”

“SEC is going to be all over this,” Gerri said, shaking her head. 

“Ooh, gummy love bite from the fucking toddlers. I’m so scared,” Roman scoffed. “I think he likes us, I do. I can feel it in my gut.”

Pulling a sour face, you told him, “I really don’t think we should be banking the future of the company on your gut, Rome.”

It was then that Matsson tweeted again. This time, it was just three emojis: a game controller, crossed fingers, and an eggplant.

“He’s fucking us,” you muttered, which made Roman’s head jerk in your direction. 

“Nah, come on. Don’t be so paranoid—we’re good. I think we’re good!” Roman insisted. 

Brows raised, Shiv asserted, “Yeah, well if he blows this deal, then who is left for us, exactly?”

Before Roman could reply, you all caught sight of Logan making his way through the crowd, Marcia hanging off one arm and Kerry trailing behind the two of them.

“Jesus. He really doesn’t give a single, solitary fuck, does he?” snickered Roman, gaze following after his dad.

Caroline wove through to stand in front of you and Shiv, inviting the two of you to the bachelorette party. Shiv fumbled with protests, but Roman had insisted she went. When Caroline looked to you expectantly, you nodded your head and told her you’d be there, but not without a reluctant glance in Roman’s direction, who rubbed your back in an almost consoling manner.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be spying on you guys with a pair of binoculars,” he leaned forward to whisper.

“Not creepy at all, Roman. You sure know how to charm me.”

Nearly an hour later, the bachelorette party set off a little ways away from the hotel. There were drinks, there was gossip, and there was laughter. By nightfall, the party began to fizzle away, and you were more than ready to head back to the hotel. Find Roman and rope him into sleeping next to you, like he often did.

Though, as you descended down the stairs of the building the bachelorette party was occupying, you weren’t all that surprised to see Roman leaning against the bannister, a rogue smile on his lips.

“Have fun up there?” 

“Mhm.” You kissed his cheek once, then another time for good measure. He smelled like limes and expensive cologne. You liked the limes more than the cologne.

“Not too much fun, I hope.”

You snorted. “Were you waiting for me here?”

“No, I just really like loitering around Italian streets at three in the morning.”

There was a warm sort of feeling simmering within your chest. “It’s only eleven o’clock, Roman.”

“Close enough.”

Roman rather liked the way your hair had gotten a little more tousled as the night passed on. You muffled a yawn, leaning against him as the two of you set off for the hotel.

“Matsson?” you asked tiredly, voice hoarse with overuse.

“He left me a message—said the tweets were just fucking around. You were right. As always. Lawyers gave him the spooks—he’s flying back to Switzerland.”

You hummed again, pleased. “Good. You did good, Roman.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you told him, soft. “And what about your dad? How’s he taking it?”

“Gerri says Dad thinks Matsson is trying to fuck him. I don’t know. He’s just gotta ride it out,” Roman said, shrugging. “They want me to go save the deal. Go see him.”

“You’re leaving me alone in Italy?” you crooned, laughing slightly. 

Without hesitation, Roman offered, “Come with me. Can get you away from Mumsie and her nosy little fingers.”

You pulled a wince. “Mmh, no thanks. Didn’t like the way Matsson eye-fucked me the entire time I sat near him at Kendall’s party. Don’t want a repeat of him getting distracted.”

“Good to know I didn’t just imagine that,” Roman murmured. His head drooped, hair dropping over his forehead.

There was a moment of silence, interrupted only by a few people passing by, cheering in broken Italian. Drunk party guests, you assumed.

“What’re you thinking? Like—is Matsson… is he good for us?” 

“No,” you said, much quicker than Roman had expected. “I don’t like him. He’s a flight risk. But he’s big—it would be a huge fucking deal acquiring GoJo. As in, change the company fundamentally, kind of a big deal. Could be good for the company in the long run, maybe. I don’t see us working well with Matsson, though.”

Roman studied your side profile, eyes roaming the bridge of your nose, your drooping eyelids, your parted lips. It was dark, but the moon’s glow seemed to light up the most beautiful parts of you. Or maybe it was just the Italian air. 

“Well, I guess we’re just gonna have to see.”

“Yeah.” You yawned again. 

“Okay, yeah, come on, sleepy. I don’t have the arm strength to carry you there.”

Matsson wanted a merger of equals. You should’ve guessed, with how he was talking at Kendall’s party, not wanting another man’s shadow looming over him. And… asking about Logan’s death.

“I hate that guy,” you mumbled to Roman as the two of you walked to the meeting room, where Logan had called for everyone to assemble. “The nerve of him…”

“I think it’s off the table but… Gerri’s pressuring me to push the deal forward. I’m already so stressed I’m jerking dust.” He rolled his shoulders and frowned. “Think Dad’s gonna eat it?”

You spared him an unsure glance. “I mean, what other choice does he have?”

With a heavy sigh, Roman swung open the glass door and the two of you filed into the meeting room. Logan waved for you to take a seat. Around the table was Gerri, Kerry, Shiv, and Tom—Karl and Frank were on call, displayed on a big screen TV. You sank down beside Gerri, with Roman across the table from you.

“Now, before we get the whole circus here, I wanna get a sense of what’s going on,” Logan announced. “Is he a Twitter panty-flasher? Or is he a serious person?”

“Uh, well, he is a serious person,” Roman said, which earned him a disbelieving scoff from Shiv. “But, Dad, he thinks there’s value that hasn’t been priced in yet. He’s gunning for a merger of equals. So I guess that kills it, right?”

“What? A merger of equals?” Shiv parroted, staring at her brother as if he’d grown a second head.

“Well, yeah. He’s got, like, twelve of the prime Asian sports leagues under GoJo’s belt, and he’s gonna fold it all into the platform. Live sports, games, betting—it’s a fucking growth bomb.”

Narrowing her eyes, Shiv hesitantly broached, “Okay, but… fifty-fifty board, all stocks? Dad, what, splits control?”

“Yes, Siobhan,” Roman exasperatedly said. “That’s what he wants.”

Everyone looked to Logan, who was silent for a few moments. There was a contemplative look to his gaze.

“But the guy isn’t a fuckhead?” he asked Roman.

“Oh, no. The tweeting was a move.”

Logan leaned forward, resting his large hands on the table. “He’s not some big baby who shits for clicks?”

“No, Dad. He’s, uh, he’s—I know people, Dad. I’m a fucking people sniffer.” 

Shiv was glaring at her brother, and you pursed your lips. 

“Because I can win any round with a boxer fuck, but I don’t know how to knock out a clown,” Logan deadpanned. 

“He’s not a clown, he’s a tough motherfucker,” Roman insisted. “It’s what you would’ve done, right? He just maximized his leverage.”

Still not happy with the whole ordeal, Shiv shook her head. “Yeah, but merger of equals? That sounds ridiculous!”

“No such thing,” Logan gruffed.

Tom, by his right, nodded in agreement. “Always a top dog.”

“Family stake will be seriously diluted,” Karl warned, his voice crackling on the call.

“Could be just an on-paper thing,” you added. “Real control rests on the family if we negotiate who gets board seats.”

“Yeah. We could still be the puppy-fuckers here,” said Roman. “I think Matsson would let us craft it so that we keep balance of the board. He just wants the freedom and the status. GoJo Royco, I mean, who gives a fuck? Let him have the logo, we take the wheel.”

Sensing her father was being swayed, Shiv finally caved. “I mean, it would be real-scale. It’s a legitimate way of staying relevant.”

Frank and Karl weren’t happy, seeing as a merger of equals would threaten their positions with newer, better replacements. You almost laughed upon seeing Frank’s pixelated, unsure features.

“Dad and Gerri, you guys would stay with your hands on the tiller. Their price rise is real! It’s a proper fucking streamer. Would save that sector of Waystar completely. The future is really boiled down to: movies, TV, music, games, sports, eSports, VR, AR, betting—fucking everything for everyone, and Matsson can get us there,” Roman argued.

With a slight dip of his head, Logan said, “We can’t afford to walk away now. This is our crutch. Must be worth a conversation, son. Call in the team. Let’s get the banker fucks on this.” 

Roman grinned victoriously, his eyes meeting yours. 

You smiled back, pulling out your phone to shoot him a text.

you’re a fucking champ rome

The GoJo bankers began to file in, and you put your phone away. Roman’s buzzed on the table, and he glanced down at the screen, beam unwavering. He shot you a sly look, before tapping his keyboard a few times, deciding now was a good time to send you the picture of his hard dick he’d taken early in the morning, while you were still asleep.

dinner to celebrate? eat this, fuckface

He watched you expectantly, but you were busy greeting one of the bankers, shaking her hand. And then, his father’s phone buzzed. Logan slid on his reading glasses, clicking on the new text notification from his son.

Dread sank down to the pits of his stomach once he realized what he’d done.

Oh, fuck.

Logan stared angrily at his son, who sunk further down on his chair. You were still chatting to the banker, but halted the conversation when Logan suddenly stood up. 

“I need five,” he said.

And with that, he was gone. That was the quickest you’d seen him walk in a long time.

Shiv shot you and Roman a confused look, before following after him. 

You excused yourself, too, rounding the table to put a hand on Roman’s shoulder. To your confusion, he seemed to jerk away from your touch. 

“Hey, what—? Rome, what’s going on?”

He sucked in a breath, letting you pull him out of the meeting room. The two of you stood in the hallway, just a few feet away from the conference room Shiv and Logan had disappeared into.

“I maybe might have sent Dad a, uh, a picture of my dick,” Roman nervously said, scratching at the back of his head. His arms seemed to shake.

“Oh,” you replied, far too stunned to say anything else. “Were you… was it for…”

“Yeah. It was for you. Fuck.” 

The two of you stared at each other. 

“Will he… oh, Rome. Fuck.” You didn’t know what else to say. Logan wouldn’t hurt Roman with GoJo right in the next room, right? 

But you weren’t so sure.

Inside the conference room, Shiv winced to her dad whilst handing his phone back, “Yeah, he sent you his dick by mistake.”

“Well, that was pretty obvious.”

“It was meant for Y/N,” she said. “He calls her fuck-face all the time.”

Logan’s brows furrowed. “Y/N?”

“Yeah, they’re… they’re weird with each other. Everyone knows. Frankly, I think it’s fucking disgusting.”

“Yeah? They fucking?”

Shiv spluttered for words. “I don’t really—I don’t—I mean—” She shook her head. “Regardless, this… this is grounds for a potential lawsuit. Boss sexually harassing his employee kind of situation.”

Logan took his glasses off. “Isn’t this Roman just being Roman? They’ve been good pals since babies.”

Shiv chose her words carefully. “No. No, Dad, I think this could be a potential problem. This could be bad for us, you know. Y/N could use this as blackmail if she wanted to. And Roman, he’s… he’s a loose canon. People say he used to get jerked off by his personal trainer.”

It was then that Logan bellowed Roman’s name so loud, the very walls seemed to shake. Roman flinched, and you gently patted his arms, urging him to go.

“Put in a good word for you,” Shiv told her twin as he hurried in.

Roman twisted his hands nervously, only barely managing to catch the phone that Logan angrily slid over. 

“Are you a sicko?” Logan asked, voice harsh. “What is this? Why do you send them?”

“Jesus, Dad…” Roman sucked in a breath. “It’s just—you know, we’re… it’s like, here’s my dick, or whatever.”

His brows cinched. “What? Like a ‘fuck you’?”

“No, it’s just… people send each other pics of their dicks. It’s no big deal.”

“No big deal?”

“Yeah, it’s fucking normal. You ever heard of dick pics, Dad?”

Rolling his eyes, Logan retorted, “Well we do publish a number of popular newspapers, so yes, son. We probably invented the fucking words. But why?”

Roman’s mouth opened and closed. He shrugged. “I don’t know, Dad. It’s just something people do.”

“You have a problem, son?” Logan asked, watching Roman like a hawk would its prey. “What happened to that nice piece of tail you were with?”

“Uh, Tabitha? Yeah, she’s… she’s not really in the picture anymore. We had a few issues.”

Logan frowned. “She wasn’t messy. Y/N is messy. She’s a good girl, don’t get me wrong, but she’s messy.”

“Well, uh…” Roman shrank under his father’s glare. “I like her.”

“Oh, you like her? Fucking solves everything, doesn’t it? It’s one thing for you two to be plastered all over gossip tabloids. It’s another thing entirely for it to be real. And I don’t like things going on that I don’t know about.”

It didn’t go past Logan’s notice when Roman’s voice cracked a bit. “It’s all fine. Nothing’s going to happen. We’re… we’re friends.”

A terse second of silence. Roman worked a hand over his jaw.

“Go on. Fuck off.” 

Roman made his way to the door. “So, what’s… what’s going to happen?”

“You end it. Or you fire her. Whichever is easier for you, son.”

A pained look crossed Roman’s features. “Well, uh, I’m not a radical feminist or anything, but I think, maybe, we shouldn’t fire her for getting pictures of my dick?”

“Then you end it.”

Roman cleared his throat. He lingered by the doorway as if he had something else to say, but he eventually turned on his heel and left the room.

Meanwhile, Shiv had beckoned you out of the hall to sit in a different room, her expression contorted into one of false security.

“What’d he say?” you asked her. “Is he… did he get a—?”

“Yeah. Roman’s dick. Real classy,” she replied, before beckoning you out of the hall to sit in a different room. “So… I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

You tilted your head. “Uh, yeah. It’s fine, Shiv, really.”

“Uh-huh. Has this kind of thing happened before?”

You studied her, eyes narrowed. “I don’t know. Can’t really remember.”

“Right, yeah, of course. But if it did… did you ask him to stop?”

Fed up, you held your hands out. “Listen, Shiv, I’m not going to give a statement to you. I wouldn’t jeopardize Roman or the company like that.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like you were welcoming these, right? Because that would be… an abuse of power on Roman’s end, wouldn’t it?”

You drew yourself back. “Roman and I are friends. Nothing happened.”

“Okay. Yeah, sure. Things are just really delicate right now. Can’t afford to fuck up, right? Do you want to make a formal complaint about this situation? You’re the victim here, Y/N.”

“Woah, uhm… can I have some time to think about it?”

Humming, Shiv nodded. “Of course. Just know that… you should really report this to HR. It’s a big deal, this.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Shiv.” You hesitantly turned away, biting down on the inside of your cheek anxiously. You stood out of the meeting room for a second, trying to compose yourself. Plastering on a professional smile, you swung the door open and stepped inside.

Late that night, long after the meeting had ended, Roman slipped into your room, making sure nobody was around to see. 

He kissed you then, fingers cradling your face as if he was expecting you would crumble away right in front of him. When you pulled away, hands lightly pushing at his chest, he mumbled that he needed this.

And so you let him pull you apart. Kissing you, touching you, holding you. 

Your clothes were gone at some point—you hadn’t even registered taking them off, and he guided you over his lap. You rode him then, slow and steady, his hands roaming over your sides. Your foreheads were touching, the both of your moans muffled into kisses.

It was much more intimate than the last time the two of you had sex—Roman shook beneath the pads of your fingers, rife with fear. Sex was fine, but intimacy… that scared him more than anything. But he felt safe with you. It felt right with you.

And, this time it didn’t feel like Roman had a point to prove. 

He came first, his lips wrapped around one of your nipples, teeth sinking into the flesh of your breast, panting wetly against your skin. You were close to follow, shuddering against him, your hips slowly rocking to a grinding halt.

You left to clean yourself up a minute later, and came back to Roman sprawled over the bed, half-asleep.

You laid down beside him and brushed the hair away from his forehead.

“Dad told me to fire you,” he mumbled, almost slurring his words. “If I didn’t want to break up with you, that is.”

“Break up?” you echoed. “But we aren’t together.”

“Right. Sure, yeah.” He sounded hurt, but he wrapped his arms around you, nonetheless.

With no hesitation, you curled your leg up over his. “You gonna fire me, Romey?”

“No. You’re the only thing that makes sense in this fucking shitstorm.” 

“Okay.” You pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead. You were never really worried on that end. “Then I guess we’ll just have to be less… open and affectionate in public. It’ll blow over eventually. We’ll fade away, and nobody’s going to care.”

Roman squeezed his eyes shut. “Okay.”

The two of you fell asleep like that, entangled in each other, dreaming of tooth necklaces and strawberry popsicles.

The next morning, you heard from Shiv that Kendall had nearly drowned himself in the pool while everybody was at the meeting, and he’d stayed over at the hospital overnight. At your worried expression, she reassured you that he was fine. One too many limoncellos, apparently.

To make matters all the worse, GoJo’s market cap had overtaken Waystar’s, and they were apparently also considering other options. Roman and Logan were off to go see Matsson to make sure he wasn’t pulling the plug. You mumbled a low good luck to Roman, not wanting to do or say anything else with his father watching the two of you like a vulture.

Hours later, when he returned, there was a slightly panicked look to his eye. He pulled you into the gardens, where it was mostly empty, save for an elderly Italian couple sniffing the roses a good distance away from you.

“No more merger of equals,” Roman hurriedly whispered to you, which made your eyes widen. “Matsson insinuated that GoJo eats Waystar—and he stays top dog.”

Your brows cinched. “What did your dad say?”

“Nothing. Told me to leave. But Matsson said he’d go with a handsome settlement.” The distress was clear across his features. “And where does that leave us? Fucking—kicked out to the curb with bread crumbs and cardboard boxes.”

“Jesus,” you breathed out. “Well… did he offer you an out?”

Roman ran a hand through his hair. “No. Just—just don’t tell Shiv, okay? We’ll stick to the merger of equals story.”

“Okay.” You placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing in what you hoped to be a comforting fashion. “C’mon. It’s time to face Mr. Poseidon. Shiv and Con are already waiting.”

“Poseidon, huh? And who does that make me? Hades?”

You arched a brow. “Hermes. Duh.”

The two of you made your way out of the gardens, to the fancy little tables Caroline had set up. Shiv and Connor were sitting near the balcony, bearing a particularly breathtaking view of the Italian countryside. Rolling green fields and slanted, multi-hued rooftops. It wasn’t too bad of a place to get hitched, you wistfully thought, shooting Roman a glance. If Shiv had noticed anything between the two of you, she didn’t say anything. To that, you were grateful.

He was explaining the merger of equals situation to his siblings (save Kendall, who still had yet to appear), and Connor grew angry with the fact that he wasn’t informed. He didn’t like Matsson, but for a wildly different reason than you.

“Okay, well, if you guys don’t mind, I’m a little churned up about my big brother trying to kill himself, so I can’t really think about that shit right now, thanks.” Roman made a high-pitched noise, before leaning forward and snatching a piece of garlic bread off of Connor’s plate. “I’m fucking starving. Can we get some more food here?”

“It’s a buffet, you dipshit,” Shiv told him.

Before Roman could get up to grab food, Kendall turned the corner, stiffly making his way to his siblings, and you. His eyes were hidden behind a pair of expensive, brown-tinted sunglasses, doing a great job of hiding the bags beneath his eyes. He hadn’t slept a wink at the hospital.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hello,” Roman chirpily greeted. Only Roman could somehow make the word hello sound sarcastic. 

Kendall’s hands twitched at his sides. “So, what is this?”

“Take a seat,” Shiv said, and Connor patted the head of the empty chair beside him.

Kendall scoffed, but sat nonetheless.

“So,” Shiv started, looking awfully uncomfortable being somewhat emotionally open with her brother, “we just wanted to get together and let you know that… we love you.”

A soft breath, and a tilt of his head. “What?”

Connor nodded. “I love you straight up.”

“We care about you, Ken,” you added, feeling mildly guilty that the last time the two of you spoke, you were yelling at him about something as stupid as a popsicle.

“I suppose I don’t want you to die,” Roman lamented, pouring himself a glass of wine.

“What is this, guys? What’s the angle?” Kendall asked. 

In a placating tone, Connor said, “No angle. We were just worried that you… consciously or subconsciously tried to… you know…”

“Are you trying to shut me down?” gruffed Kendall. 

“Uhm, you kind of tried to kill yourself, dude, and that’s not cool?” Roman inputted, avoiding eye contact.

“I fell off an inflatable.”

Clearing your throat, you gently said, “You were drunk. And your kids were there. Comfrey had to fish you out. I heard that Soph was crying behind the rose bushes, Kendall.”

At his daughter’s name, Kendall’s face seemed to twist with an unmistakable sort of anguish. “Is this a fucking intervention? Why do you guys get to do an intervention on me?” 

“Seriously?” Roman asked.

“No, well, maybe you need an intervention.” He gestured to Shiv. “You need an intervention, Con. You two need one, too.”

“Yeah, totally, but, like—you’re kind of the top of the pile, right now. We can do me tomorrow, yeah?” Roman said.

Shiv pursed her lips in agreement. “Suicides kind of jump the line.”

“I fell off my fucking floatie!”

“You’re an addict,” Shiv stated plainly. “You’re addicted to booze and to drugs and relationships and sex and work and family drama.”

The siblings decided to argue a bit more, until Connor, fed up, exclaimed that he was the eldest son, and that he loved all of you, and he’d proposed to Willa and nobody even bothered to congratulate him. Your face fell with guilt, but you didn’t try to stop him as he stormed away. The conversation died out after that, with Roman complaining that he was too hungry to think straight, leaving for the buffet table, and Kendall straight up leaving without even saying goodbye.

Not wanting to be left alone with Shiv, you shot Roman a message saying you’d be in your room, and left the table.

The wedding started two hours later. You’d managed to squeeze in a nice nap and a quick shower before, meeting Roman at the lobby with a refreshed smile.

“You look great,” he told you, genuine. His hands seemed to reach out for you, but he winced and pulled himself back. “Now that we’re not supposed to be all over each other, I suddenly have this inexplicable, caveman urge to raw dog you in front of everyone.”

Your lips twitched in amusement. “You are so romantic, Roman.” Careful not to draw attention, you bumped your hip into his, and the two of you began walking to Caroline’s wedding.

Shiv met you at the entrance, pestering Roman on where Logan was (which he clearly didn’t know himself), and also making several incessant japes about Roman’s lost chance to marry his mother. A part of you wondered if she was amping it up because you were there, as if to try to goad a reaction out of you.

“Well, I’m just worried about the prenup,” Roman hotly defended after Shiv made fun of him for not liking Peter Munion.

“She has a prenup, Rome,” Shiv said while rolling her eyes. “She had her lawyer look at it because she wants to keep the London flat Dad gave her.”

“What if he poisons her? Or pushes her down the stairs to get this flat he so desires?” Roman quipped, crossing his arms.

Shiv snorted. “Oh, yeah. And what if worse—he fucks her with his dick. Fucks her so good that she dies?”

A group of giggling children passed by, and you muttered a quiet apology to the parents glaring at the three of you.

“We should get going,” you told the twins. “Must be starting any minute now.” 

They halted their quarreling for the time being, and followed you into the building. 

The ceremony was delayed around half an hour—you suspected it was because Logan hadn’t shown up, and Peter Munion sure wanted to brown-nose some more—but it carried on without him. You wondered if Logan wasn’t here because of what Roman had told you.

GoJo eating Waystar. That would make headlines for a good few months.

After the ceremony came a lovely little banquet, decked with long white tables lined with sweet-smelling flowers, beautiful flutes of champagne and wine passed around. Waiters flitted to and fro like busy worker bees, serving up course after course. There were seventeen dishes total, you counted. Roman said there were actually eighteen—you missed one when you briefly disappeared for the bathroom.

“You don’t have a fucking clue where Dad is, do you?” Shiv prodded at Roman’s shoulder, and he shrugged her off.

“Just relax, will you?”

Connor came up to the three of you then, a wary smile on his face. You and Shiv took turns apologizing to him, wearing guilty expressions. He’d always had soft spots for the both of you.

“No, no, it’s okay. Forget about it.”

“Mhm,” Roman said. “Forgotten.”

“So, guess who’s getting married to the greatest gal in the world?” Connor announced, a wide smile overtaking his features. 

You grinned, congratulating him with a hug, Shiv and Roman slapping their older brother on the shoulder. When you pulled away, Connor pulled up a shriveled little brown bulb out of his pocket.

“Oh, ew. What is that?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.

“It’s a dried penis from one of the great men in history, correct?” Roman postulated, poking it before wiping his hands onto you.

Pointing at it, Connor said, “This is maca root. It’s for Dad’s smoothie.”

“Mhm?” Shiv asked, not quite getting it.

“He’s working on his baby batter!” Connor reiterated. “Maca root, almond butter! Dad’s putting together a more adhesive, potent gloop.”

“Ew,” you said, grimacing. “He’s eighty fucking years old. The baby practically pre-ordered the daddy issues themself.”

Utterly confused, Roman asked, “Are you fucking with us right now? That’s disgusting!”

“No, I’m not! Look at all the walnuts he’s been munching! He’s gonna be rocking sperms like a little catfish.”

“Oh, my fuck. Dad’s scrambling the fighters,” Roman guffawed, batting away Connor’s hand when he waved the maca root closer to his nose. 

With a final laugh, Connor clapped Shiv’s shoulder, before bidding adieu, in search of his now-fiance.

“We gotta find a way to kill this baby,” Roman muttered.

“Yeah, finally you’ve got a worthy adversary,” laughed Shiv.

It was then that Tom made his way to the three of you, his arm curled over her waist. You eyed the fluid motion, wishing you could have something of an open relationship like theirs. Though, you weren’t sure comparing yourself to Tom and Shiv was the best way to go.

Tom let it slip that they were planning on having a baby, too—but by freezing an embryo. 

“Congratulations,” you told the two of them, though Shiv didn’t look all that happy.

Roman chortled and made a few jokes about how Tom would have to poop out his own baby, and you nudged him harshly. 

“That’ll be your niece or nephew, you know. Just don’t be that weird, creepy uncle they avoid at family gatherings.”

“Can’t make any promises,” Roman whistled, though he fell silent when Gerri strode up to the three of you.

It was just as you thought. She’d heard Logan and Matsson were meeting with financiers—which meant Logan was going through with the flipped deal. GoJo swallows Waystar, Logan leaves with his pockets full, and everybody aboard the sinking ship is left to fend for themselves. 

“Why would Matsson need financing for an all-stock deal?” Shiv asked, though she was beginning to get an inkling of what was truly happening on her own.

Gerri suggested splitting up to cover more ground. Roman would get Kerry, Shiv handled Marcia, Gerri tackled Frank, and you were left to call in a few of Roman’s lawyers to see if they could rifle through anything that could block Logan from plowing into GoJo full-steam.

“I think Frank and Karl are in Europe,” Roman told Shiv, his phone pressed to his ear. “It’s got the fucking Euro ring.”

“What?” Shiv demanded. “Rome—are we being fucked right now?”

Roman hung up once Karl lied straight through his teeth that he was in America. Just before, he’d seen Gerri and Kerry speaking to each other in hushed tones, before Gerri quickly walked away. Was Gerri knifing him, too?

He turned to stare at you, speaking to his lawyers on the phone about voting power for the next CEO.

“Okay, well, I should probably tell you,” Roman said, scratching at the back of his head. “Matsson did float, just as an idea, that maybe they’d buy us.”

There was a momentary pause. Shiv’s eyes flared wider, her lips pinching tight. “Right. And what did Dad say?”

Roman shrugged. “Fuck off!” he said, in his best Logan imitation.

“Mhm. And he stuck around?”

“Yeah. Yeah, he did.”

Abruptly, Shiv shoved him so hard that Roman stumbled back into a table. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me this earlier?” She stomped off then, making her way to Kendall, moping by the edges of the gardens.

You hung up the phone, walking back to Roman. “Dead ends. They’re going to have to look through fucking everything—signing heir contracts, settlement conditions, the divorce clauses. Might be something there that gives the three of you a hand on the steering wheel.”

“Great.” Roman sucked at his teeth, hesitant. “Hey, as it turns out, I don’t think I can trust Gerri.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, and—I can trust you, right?” He scuffed the grass with the heel of his expensive boot, anxious.

The two of you stared at each other for a long moment. Man and woman, microphone and stand, dog and chew toy. You ran your tongue along the back of your teeth. 

“I love you, Roman. You know that,” you told him, swallowing the lump in your throat. 

“Okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I trust you.”

“Hurry the fuck up!” Shiv yelled, startling the two of you away from each other. She began making her way around the building, towards the deserted back, where nobody was around to hear what the four of you were discussing. Slow on her heels was Kendall, dragging his feet along glumly.

You and Roman were only barely able to exchange comforting glances, before hastening after her.

“Okay, so—Dad is doing us dirty, right?” Shiv said, a tad too loud for your comfort, seeing as there were wedding guests only around the corner.

“Can you not make it a whole thing?” Roman protested, nose wrinkling. “We actually don’t—we don’t know anything yet. Matsson pitched to Dad the idea of them eating us, but I think he was just flying a kite.”

“Financing wouldn’t be there if it was just Matsson jerking off. Karl and Frank wouldn’t have bothered unless it was real. You know that, Roman,” you said.

The man merely raised his tense shoulders, kicking at a rock on the sandy ground. “Dad kind of shut it down,” he replied.

“He kind of shut it down?” pressed Shiv. “A moment ago, you were telling me that he told you to fuck off!”

Frowning, Roman told his sister, “Well, I didn’t keep track of the exact number of expletives he used, Siobhan. Okay? I’m not a fuckometer.”

There was a crackling silence for a few seconds. Kendall wasn’t facing the three of you, opting to stare away into the distance, hands propped on his hips. 

“Our market caps have tipped,” Shiv vehemently put forth. “The local town’s been bought out by a new set of advisors. Something has flipped!”

It was clear that Roman was the only one still clinging onto his father’s leg. He watched you and Shiv with scrutinizing eyes. “Dad would never sell, would he? Hey, asshole, Dad would never sell, right?” Roman directed the question to Kendall.

Kendall’s shoulders moved just a tiny bit, barely a twitch. “I don’t know,” he muttered.

“I see him doing it if the buy-out settlement is large enough,” you said, expression grim. “A handful of billions in his pocket, and he’d walk off satisfied.”

“But Dad… he…” Roman itched at the back of his head. “What about us?”

“Okay, yeah, the question is—would we get fucking protection?” Shiv demanded, as if the three of you had answers to give her.

Kendall looked up at the bright Italian sun. He was feeling thirsty.

“Can you guys just do this without me?” he asked, voice dejected. “I can’t—I don’t really wanna get into it.”

Narrowing her eyes in suspicion, Shiv hurled out an accusation, “Wait a minute, Ken. Do you—you have an angle on this? Are you speaking with Matsson?”

Kendall laughed. He paused for a second, thinking on Shiv’s words some more, before laughing again. Then, he sank to the sandy ground. There were sharp rocks poking his legs, a fine layer of dust coating his ass and the back of his thighs.

“Is he okay?” you whispered to Roman, who just shook his head and murmured something you couldn’t quite catch under his breath.

“Ken, can we just talk?” Shiv asked. 

“Shiv, I’m not here,” he said. His knees pulled up to his chest, and his head rested upon them.

He wasn’t okay, that was plainly clear. Tentative, you took a step forward, exchanging uneasy glances with Shiv. The redhead crouched down and soothed a comforting hand over her older brother’s back. You kneeled in front of Kendall, uncaring of how dirty you were getting your pants. Lingering a little farther back was Roman, stressed out of his mind, studying the three of you contemplatively.

“Hey, you okay?” Her voice was far more soft this time around.

Kendall shook his head, a heavy exhale slipping past his slightly-chapped lips. The familiar sting of salt welcomed the corners of his eyes. 

“Talk to us, Ken,” you said, your shoe nudging his. 

His mouth trembled. “There’s something really wrong with me. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.”

“Uh, well… it’s okay, Ken…” Unsure, Shiv looked up to you. 

“I just—I’m not feeling very connected to my children or my endeavors right now. And, uh, I can’t get one thing right with another, you know?” His voice broke near the end. A warble, a shake, a lilt.

Roman stepped closer. To anyone who didn’t quite know him, he looked as if he was angry. But you knew—you knew that that was concern splayed across his features. He was worried for his big brother.

“Kendall, we can get you help,” you tried to reassuringly say.

“But I can’t,” he replied, on the verge of tears. “I don’t know what happened. I tried to do something. I tried, I really did. Really.”

For better or worse, Roman attempted to diffuse the tension by saying, “I know, man. You fucked it.”

You and Shiv glared at him, while Kendall merely laughed. It was painful and grating. His throat ached.

“I took a shot, but it’s like it didn’t matter,” he said.

“It’s just business, okay?” Roman told him, trying to downplay the situation. “We’re all fucked. Everything just sort of got… mixed up.”

When Shiv stood up, her legs aching, Kendall’s eyes slid shut. “I thought I had an out. I could see it—I could see the way markers, and I thought I could, out of all our shit, I thought I could take us all out of it. I tried, guys. I did.”

Roman hummed. Shiv stayed silent. You watched him, pensive. 

“I don’t know,” said Kendall. “I’m not a good person.”

“Well, whatever,” Roman said, miffed. “You’re… fine.”

“I’m… I’m bad.”

A few tense, sparse chuckles. Roman shot you a confused look, as if to say, is he for real?

“Lighten up, glum-glum,” Rome said.

Kendall blinked down at the sand. “I killed a kid.”

“Hm?”

“What?” you quietly asked. What was he talking about?

Shiv laughed a bit, wondering if this was all an elaborate joke. After all, it was hard to take anything Kendall did seriously after his disaster of a birthday party.

“I killed a kid,” Kendall repeated.

“Like… metaphorically?” you queried.

“No, I… I killed a kid. And, yeah, they’re… they’re coming for me. They’re gonna come for me.”

Your mouth fell open and shut, shocked and uncertain of what to do, what to say.

“Is this—?” Shiv looked around wildly. “Is this real? What the fuck?”

There was a sharp inhale. A warm breeze blew by, and Kendall found himself swallowing around what felt like dust. Glass shards. All the same.

“At your wedding,” he said.

“What?” Shiv asked, voice hardened.

“Horseshit,” said Roman, though he knew it, deep down, none of it was horseshit.

Rapidly, Kendall blinked. “The kid. That kid.”

“Uh, you mean the… the waiter kid?” Shiv clarified. 

A soft, nearly horrified exhale slipped from you. “That was you?” you asked, voice much smaller than it had been only minutes ago. 

“I was high,” he began to explain, miserable. “I was trying to score, and I was drunk, I was fucked up, and I drove. He saw something and he snatched at the wheel. We went into the water.” His voice trembled. “And then I left him in there and I ran.”

“Uhm, okay, we gotta… we gotta get you inside,” Shiv started, but Kendall’s shoulders began to shake.

His head lowered further. “It’s fucking lonely,” he quietly sobbed. A tear fell down his cheek, slipping into his mouth. “I’m all apart.”

You weren’t quite sure what to do, so you reached out and kept a steady grip on one of his knees. It grounded him, in a way, because his sobs seemed to dullen after a few seconds.

“I mean, if it pleases the court,” Roman began to say, which made your stomach roil in fear of what other abrasive comment he might spit out, “it sounds like you didn’t really kill him. Sounds to me like… he killed him.”

Your brows cinched. Kendall ran away from the kid and drove under the influence, which made him largely at fault. But you also knew it wasn’t… wholly on his shoulders. It was an accident, first and foremost. Besides—what choice did he have than to keep quiet, with his tail pressed beneath Logan’s thumb? 

“Rome, I’m a piece of shit, man,” Kendall sniffled, shaking his head. 

“The road and the water killed him,” offered Roman. “That’s what it sounds like.”

“What he’s trying to say,” you interjected, voice slow and placating. “Is that it was an accident.”

“Yeah, seriously. You crashed, and then, what? You ran?”

“No, I mean… I tried to get him. I dived a few times.”

Roman spread his arms out a bit. “See? That… that sounds like the story of a hero to me. That’s more than I would’ve fucking done. Seriously, I would’ve been out of that water like a tabby cat from a bath.”

Pained laughs from Kendall filled in the space between the four of you, which dissolved into cries. “Don’t, man. I’m… I’m a killer.”

Scoffing, Roman groaned out, “Fuck you. Come on, bullshit. At worst you’re an… a fucking irresponsibler. Okay? You’re bigging yourself up.”

“I don’t know, you guys,” Kendall hiccupped. “I’m blown into a million pieces.”

“Okay, uhm, we gotta get you out of here,” Shiv said, rubbing his shoulder. 

“We could bring him back to the chapel,” Roman offered. “Stuff him into a confessional. That might fix him.”

It was then that your phone started ringing, the lawyers calling you back. You gently apologized to the siblings, before stepping away and answering. Not long after you, Shiv’s phone began to ring with Laird’s caller ID, and she pulled off, as well. Leaving just the two brothers.

Roman sank down to sit beside him. He tried, and failed, to comfort him. But he succeeded, too. Somehow.

“I’m sorry,” Kendall croaked.

Wincing, Roman said, “You know, one waiter down makes a bit more sense. Took me forever to get a fucking drink at that wedding.”

“Please, man, I can’t—”

“Yeah, no, I’m just saying. Who’s the real victim here, you know? I waited three quarters of an hour for a gin and tonic.”

Both you and Shiv hung up your calls at the same time, making your way back to the brothers.

“You first,” you told Shiv. “What’s Laird know?”

She nodded. “He was inside the deal, then got cucked out of the lead. He’s bitter and bleating. GoJo buys Waystar. They pay a premium, Dad cashes out—cash and stock, maybe a title and a few assets, but it’s Matsson’s fucking board.”

“Can we trust that? Is that even real? Laird is a fucking prick. I know this—I was stuck as a hostage with him pissing buckets next to me,” Roman spat.

“Look, Kendall, I know you’re in a tough spot right now, but we have to talk about this now. I’ll call the car. Let’s just get the fuck out of here,” Shiv said. 

The eldest of the four burst into another raucous sob. Roman got up from the ground and placed his hands on his brother’s shoulders, squeezing. Shiv palmed his buzzed head. You took your previous spot, crouching down in front of him and patted his kneecaps.

No more words were exchanged about the accident. It was time for war.

“What’s your news?” Roman asked. “My lawyers?”

You offered them a small, bitter smile. “There might be a gun in this knife-fight.”

In the car, you explained to them how the lawyers had found a clause in the extensive divorce settlement between Logan and Caroline: the kids would have veto power to any changes in company control.

If all the kids objected, there was legally no way Matsson could buy Waystar. 

The siblings were reunited on the same side for the first time in what felt like decades. Despite this, Roman still felt uneasy about the whole ordeal. 

“These are still all just rumors,” he said from beside you. “So I’ll have to talk to Dad alone first.”

Indignant, Shiv scoffed. “You think you’re close to him? You’re just his little rat fucker.”

“I’m just saying, as a matter of fact, that Dad and I have been working closely lately and I don’t want to go in too aggressive,” he heatedly defended. “I’m not busting in there crying Team Shiv, okay? We don’t know how this is going to play out yet.”

“You think Dad is protecting you?” Shiv hissed. “No, we let Matsson take control, that is Dad slamming the door! It means he doesn’t think that we will, can, or should take over.”

“All this time he’s spent braying about family,” you whispered, staring out at the rolling Italian fields flashing past. “And he’s the one who drives the knife in.”

Roman bit down on the inside of his cheek. “I just don’t think we should be aggressive. Can we even actually stop him with this one clause?”

“Yes,” Kendall said. “A change of control needs a super majority in the holding company. He’d need us to agree to it.”

“Exactly,” you said. “Just one of you, it wouldn’t work. That’s why he wasn’t threatened when it was just Kendall. The three of you, though… that’s the golden goose.”

Roman nodded, uncertain. “Right, well. I’m not sure I want to pull a move like that. Maybe I just… I stick with what I got.” He looked at you, expecting your support on this, but you pointedly pursed your lips.

Shiv gritted her jaw. “Which is what, exactly? A hard drive full of dick pics you send Y/N? Where exactly do you think we fit on Matsson’s new org chart, Rome?”

In a calmer voice, Kendall said, “He’ll gut you like a pig, Rome.”

Roman’s brows knitted together. 

“Rome, you know Dad is never going to choose you because he thinks there’s something wrong with you,” Shiv said. “I’m sorry, but maybe it’s time we said these things to each other. Instead of just airing it out to Vanity Fair.”

There was a roll of his eyes, but you could tell that her words hit close to home. A home he never felt safe in, perhaps.

“Hey, Rome,” you said, taking his hand, uncaring that Shiv and Kendall were there to see. They’ve seen far worse, after all, and you were nearly certain they already knew what was going on between the two of you. “You might not have a place beneath Matsson. You know that, right? And… and neither would I, I don’t think.”

This seemed to tip the scales over for him. The thought of not having the company to keep you close by his side anymore—to tether you to him—made him far more scared than he cared to admit.

Finally, Roman tentatively broached, “The holding company move… if we do that, that’s real?”

“He can’t sanction a deal without us. That’s legal fact,” Kendall said. “Block him and he’s fucked.”

With an air of finality, Shiv said, “Okay, we just rip the band-aid right off. Push him out. Get him on his own, say it was his urinary tract at the shareholder meeting—say he’s out of it. He’s fucking a twenty year old, and he’s planning for babies in jars. He’s gone loopy, and he’s tried to sell the shop while fucking his assistant. If we tell the board all that, he’s toast.”

“Burnt,” you agreed.

“Full coup,” Kendall said.

“Yeah. We have, say, Ken, chair? Rome or me, CEO? The other, COO, or whatever they want—studios, movies, TV. Equal.” There was a hopeful glint to her eyes. “Y/N takes CFO, maybe director of operations, maybe president of relations. Whichever floats your boat.”

You were quite happy with your quaint little title as general branch manager, but you nodded along to Shiv’s words, not wanting to argue with semantics. 

“Okay, but really equal. Like, actual equal. If we do this, I don’t want you two cunts trying to big-brother me out of my fucking piece, okay? And I want the dick pic stuff with Y/N cleared. We do shit like that. We like each other, alright? Deal with it.”

Shiv eyed you warily, but found herself in no position to turn him down, especially not with him in such a precarious position. You shot Roman a flattered smile, squeezing his hand. This was the most open Roman’s been about his relationship with you… ever.

“We can fight all the details out,” Shiv reassured. “It’ll… it’ll be fun.”

The siblings laughed, genuine and chesty. 

“Oh, fuck,” Roman breathed out. For a second, it seemed like his eyes seemed to glass over, but it was gone with his next blink. “I do think that, even though this literally makes me want to vomit and I wanna kill you both every day and it’s all going to end horribly… I do think that we—puke—could make a pretty good team.”

“So how do we feel about killing Dad?” Shiv asked.

Kendall smiled. “Pass me the fucking shotgun.”

By the time the four of you reached Logan, the sun had only barely set, and a heavy sort of darkness started stealing away the clouds. The rooms were full to the brim and bustling about with a frantic atmosphere. Lawyers and financiers and other powerful figures from the companies flitting to and fro.

Logan, however, was in a separate room. Empty, save for the few people at the very top. 

He called for the four of you to come in, all false smiles and honeyed tones.

“Hey. Hi, everyone,” Roman greeted, high-strung. “We’re just feeling a little out of the loop, Dad.”

“Oh, of course. Things have moved very fast, yes. Sit down, all of you.”

None of you sat down, but Roman stood across the table from his dad. “So, yeah, we’re, uh… we’re hearing some rumors about GoJo?”

“We heard that we might be the target now,” Shiv said in a far colder tone in comparison to her brother. “Is that right, Dad?”

Logan nodded once. “Okay. I’ve been looking at a few options.”

“Right. We might be affected with our positions, so we just wanted to get some clarity,” Shiv said.

A harsh glare was sent in Kendall’s direction. “Absolutely, but do you mind not with him in here giving me the fucking doggy-evils? Can you take him out, Romulus? I’ll fill in your sister and give you the angles.” Logan gestured vaguely at his second-eldest son. “I don’t trust him.”

Roman swallowed uneasily, unmoving.

Logan stared at him expectantly. “Roman?”

“You can tell us together, Dad,” Kendall said.

“I thought we had this figured out,” Logan deadpanned, fixing his angry glare onto Roman instead of Kendall.

Five different emotions seemed to flash across Roman’s face at once. “Yeah, no, we just… it might be better. If all of us heard.”

A steady breath. Finally, Logan acquiesced. “Okay. The market capitalizations of our firm have been on the move. Ours is a declining business. There’s a wave of consolidations happening, and that means this is the optimal moment, in my opinion, to make a deal with a serious tech operation like GoJo. That’s what I’ve been exploring, okay?”

Shiv stiffly put forth, “Okay, so, I would like to say, on behalf of all of us, can you ease up and let us in? Stop this until we see how exactly we’re impacted?”

“No, it has to be now,” Logan said.

“An hour to negotiate positions wouldn’t hurt,” you said, far icier than you were anticipating to be. 

Logan leveled his gaze with you, simultaneously curious and angry. “Aren’t you supposed to be fired? Or did Romulus have the balls to fucking sever things?”

You reared back a step, teeth gritted. Roman sucked in a cold breath.

“Why does it have to be now?” Shiv demanded.

“Because I can feel it in my bones,” said Logan. “And, at the end of the day, it’s all I fucking got.”

Shiv angrily narrowed her eyes. “Well, you know that’s bullshit.”

“Look, this is the best moment to sell. If I don’t do the best deal at any given point, what’s the point of anything? I don’t get out, I leave five billion on the table,” the father explained. 

“Come on, Dad. What are you gonna do with the five bil?” Kendall prodded. “Huh? Put it on your pile with all your other fucking bil?”

Logan frowned and nodded. “Mhm. Probably.”

“And what are we supposed to do?” Kendall asked.

“Make your own fucking pile,” hissed Logan. Then, after taking a pause to collect himself, Logan continued, “I know this is an adjustment, but our blood’s in the water and I need to make moves fast in order to control the situation and get myself and all of you assurances in the future.”

“Assurances?” Shiv echoed. “Once Matsson is calling the shots, we’re fucked!”

A dismissive wave of his hand. “No, nah. He rates you. And this is an opportunity for you kids to get an education in real life.”

“With you at the top, we can take over, but without you, we’re fucked,” Shiv said. The brothers stood side by side, quiet.

Abruptly, Logan stood up from his seat. “Come on, Roman. Let’s get away from these Jacobins. I’ve got you. We can discuss this.” Roman looked to you, and Logan clocked the exchange. “Y/N, my dear. We’ll work you in, of course. You are such a valuable asset to the company. The glue, as I recall all the papers we publish calling you.”

You stepped closer to Roman, putting a hand on his elbow.

This spurred him into saying, “Hey, look, Dad, I know what Matsson said, I was there. But, uhm, with Matsson calling the shots, we’re… we’re strung up in the town square.”

“No!” Logan asserted, making his way closer, standing less than an arm’s length away from Roman. “He likes you! You have my word. This is an opportunity son. A bit of fucking grit. Adversity, like me. You can trust me.”

These days, Logan Roy’s word seemed to mean very little. It was his money that held the power.

“You can’t trust him,” Shiv said, voice straining.

Roman’s hands shook. “Uhm…” His voice went all soft, almost a husky whisper. “We’re here to say, to ask, please… do not do this.”

Logan tilted his head. “And what if I decide not to listen to you?”

“We can stop you,” Shiv said. “And we will. Blow this up.”

“Kids have voting power over company control,” you told your godfather. “From the divorce.”

“Yeah,” agreed Shiv. “You need all of us. You need a super majority, and we can kill it.”

This time, Logan yelled, voice bellowing. “You’re playing toy fucking soldiers!” Roman flinched back into you, and you rubbed your thumb along the inside of his forearm. “Go on! Fuck off, all of you! I have you beat! You f—morons!”

Nose twitching with contempt, Shiv protested, “Well, no, because you need a super majority—”

Logan roared out a mocking imitation of Shiv’s voice, somehow still terrifying. He sighed then, pulling a hand over his weary features. He turned, asking Kerry something. Something you didn’t quite catch.

Then a phone was being pulled out, and you heard Caroline’s voice crackling through the line.

A heavy pit sunk down your stomach. It clicked for you before it clicked for the siblings—mostly because they were probably in such heavy denial.

Caroline had renegotiated the divorce agreement, effectively robbing the children of their say. Their voices. All three of their faces fell, crestfallen, as the weight of the realization slammed into them.

Shiv seemed the angriest of them, muttering expletives and yelling angrily at her mother through the phone. Caroline apologized, saying it was for the best, but she wouldn’t hear a single word of it. The call was hung up a second later.

“Dad,” Roman said, disrupting the eerie, tense silence. “Please?”

He was a child asking for a dog again. He was a teenager asking to come home from military school again. He was a young adult asking for his dad to stop hitting him again.

“Please?” Logan parroted, almost disbelieving. 

“Please,” he repeated, voice breaking.

“The seat sniffer gets a fucking leg up,” his father scoffed. “That’s a deal. What have you got in your fucking deck?”

“What have I got?” Roman asked. He reached back so the hand you had rested on his elbow laced with his. “I don’t know. Fucking… fucking love?”

When Logan repeated that word—love—it sounded so childish on his tongue. So frivolous and fanciful, as if it couldn’t possibly exist.

“You come for me… with love? You bust in here, guns in hand, and now you find they’ve turned into fucking sausages. You talk about love?” He worked a hand over his jaw. “You should’ve trusted me.”

Tears filled Roman’s eyes. “Dad, why?”

“Why?” Logan swept his gaze over his children, his goddaughter. “Because it works. I fucking win. 

A beat of unbearable silence. Your nose stung, a familiar sensation.

“Go on, go on. Fuck off. You nosy fucking pedestrians.”

A wave of nausea rolled over Roman. He called out for his father as Logan stormed off, disappearing behind the doors. Then, he rushed over to ask Gerri to help them out, as Shiv stressed on who had tipped Logan off that they were on their way to see him.

Gerri dismissed Roman, brushing him off as if he were a bread crumb on her jacket. Tom arrived then, asking if his wife was okay. Shiv seemed to piece something together that you didn’t quite understand yet.

Roman sank to the ground, and Kendall put his hands on his brother’s shoulders, just as Roman did for him hours ago. You sat down beside him, your side pressed up against his.

“I want to go home,” Roman muttered. “This was all for nothing. It meant nothing.”

“Okay, Rome,” you whispered in return. “We’ll go home.”

[oldrockformations]

TMAGP EPISODE EIGHT I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS

FIRST OF ALL GERRY KEAY OH HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU!!!!! (Also if he is alive what does this mean for other people who died? Are we going to see Michael without the distortion? Mike Crew perhaps? ARE TIM AND SASHA ALIVE???? Is Daisy alive or is she still dead because she died during the eyepocalypse? If she is still dead, did she ever actually exist in the Magnus protocol universe/timeline?)

Gertrude being a mean old bitch as always <3

Sam and Celia going on a field trip :) I hope they fall in love and have a nice domestic life together. I’m sure nothing bad will happen to either of them :)

Also Georgie mention!!! The love of my life I hope we see her and Melanie, I love my podcast sapphics. I’m really hoping we see Basira too if we see Georgie and/or Melanie

Celia is looking into time travel and alternate dimension type stuff. She recognized Jon’s voice. Do the people who were avatars/aware of the fears remember the events of The Magnus Archives??? Or are their memories altered to fit the current timeline? Celia I love you TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW

And what’s this about gifted kids chosen by the Magnus archives???? I really want to know more about this please please please. I am assuming that this has something to do with the trauma Sam experienced and the reason he was hired.

Anyway I’m sure I will have more thoughts but these are just my immediate reactions I’m so excited

[sirghostheart]

8 e 9 pro ask game das mulheres

Valeu, Alison! Let's go!

8-Honestly, Gertrude Robinson in the tma fandom. I hate the fact that people tend to put her down to elevate Jon cause "At least Jon didn't sacrifice his assistants to stop the rituals, therefore he kept his humanity despite becoming an avatar, unlike Gertrude", which is just a really shallow way to read both Jon and Gertrude's character arcs.

Like, you have this amazing morally grey female character, driven by such strong principles that she's ruthless and detached from others for the sake of her goals, but as we see with her relationship to Gerry, she isn't an unfeeling robot. She's just trying her best to save the world, even if she's utilitarian about it.

I don't know in which season you are so I hope I didn't give away to many spoilers, but yeah. Gertrude is awesome and tragic and deserves more love and sorry to sound bitter but if she was a man, she'd be more well received and not bolied down to "inhuman bitch" or "#GirlBoss"

9- In my opinion, Annabelle Cane from tma.

(Spoilers for s5 below:)

Even if you think her statement in 147- Weaver is bullshit, her journey into avatarhood in 069 - Thought for the Day mirrors Jon in such a fascinating way - being tricked by an authority figure in academia to unknowingly absorb people's fear, get weird nightmares and slowly lose their humanity and participate on the same system that destroyed them - that I hoped that maybe she could be a foil in avatarhood to Jon like Helen and Daisy.

But then ep. 197 happened and she turned out to be just a mouthpiece to the Web with no goals outside from it, plus the whole "transform into a giant monster spider" thing with a garbled voice effect so bad I had to rely on the transcript to understand what she was talking about.

I more or less accepted that no, Annabelle wasn't going to get a redemptio arc or something like that and that it was ok, but I do think she was WASTED.

[bamboobrat]

succession s4 e2 recap: hitman santa claus and an audition tape from hell

time for this weeks recap, you guys! i'm going into gerri withdrawal, so this feels a bit like pulling teeth, but lets get into this trauma dump of an episode, shall we?

logan is apparently still in his feelings about last episode, but like any man of a certain age, he doesn't want to talk about it.

what he wants to do: take away the kids' helicopter privileges and scrutinize a poor man writing an email.

the kids on the other hand are planning the future of their brand new, 10 billion dollar media empire.

good thing they are really in touch with the people. as we all know, the american public is notoriously famous for being interested in foreign affairs.

it's also connor's rehearsal dinner and he voices his concern his sibs won't make it in the most boomer way possible.

shiv's "taking calls and looking upset" plot line continues.

we will get you that emmy, snookie.

tom's hogged all the good divorce lawyers in new york, similarly to what logan once did to caroline. a truly specific example of generational trauma or something.

logan is at ATN, just chillin' like a villain on the floor.

tom reacts to the news as any employee would, knowing their boss is in the office:

me running back from a one hour lunch after reading on slack that the boss is coming in.

tbh i'd take shiv calling me a lil bitch boy any day.

my close captions did this, and i can't figure out if it's a mistake or tom fucking with greg craig.

also, something tells me greg's sex tape does not have late night tv potential.

and now, for the main star of the show:

kerry's audition tape.

turns out she wants to be a host at ATN. i think roman and kendall speaks for all of us when they say:

never seen kendall so happy.

clearly, logan is the biggest anti-nepotism advocate out there, so he doesn't really want to have a say in what happens to kerry.

calling cyd and tom geniuses, though... seems fishy. perhaps it is not professionalism that is driving him, after all. i guess we will never know.

shiv continues to rack up the largest phone bill ever by talking to sandi (or is it sandy? i care to little to look it up) about potentially asking mattson for more money.

upside: more money. downside: he might just walk away from the table and they'll be stuck with a 10 billion dollar bill and a legacy media company where they focus on the very narrow topics of globan and extremely local.

personally, i don't even fully understand how the stock marked works, and even i can tell that this is a bad idea. but self-destructive people are going to self-destruct i guess.

speaking of:

WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT!!!!!!

logan does a murdoch type speech on the top of printing paper and rips an ATN employee to shreds.

if you ever went to j-school, you know this is the most horrifying scenario.

numbers? i'm a journalist, i can't do math.

logan also quotes a bit of daft punk:

and is completely calm and collected the entire speech, as we have come to expect of logan.

i truly believe logan and brian cox have morphed into one person during the four seasons of succession. i can't tell you why, but i also think this scene is proof.

also, logan is getting a BUNCH of screen time these first few episodes. could they pull the rug out from under us all and kill him off by episode 5? one can only hope.

the kiddos aren't allowed to take the company helicopter to connor and willa's rehearsal dinner and kendall is calm, cool and collected.

it's certainly a long way away from him running after that town car during the first attempt at overthrowing logan in season one. how far he's come. i'd like some of whatever it is he is taking.

stewy and sandi show up to convince the sibs to renegotiate the price with mattson.

i love stewy. i really do. but the show runners don't know how to use him properly anymore, i think. please, for the love of god, give the man some lavender. give him something more to do!

willa does what any young lesbian woman would do: ditch her own rehearsal dinner to have drinks with twenty of her closest friends.

it's not like the bride is needed at that sort of event, anyway.

roman shares my coping mechanism when dealing with any sort of emotional turmoil:

and so does connor, apparently:

there's nothing chocolate and a good rendition of 'don't stop me now' can't fix.

the show runners _really_ want you to know mattson is swedish with the bilar and the julmust and being aggressive whilst also saying you're not being aggressive.

it's the scandi way.

i feel represented.

the threat doesn't work on kendall, though. on the contrary, he's got kid brain and will do anything he is told not to do, so he goes back to back shiv on renegotiating the price. once again, roman is teamed up on, even though i stg he is the only one of the sibs making any sense lately.

this is connor's best attempt at being folksy:

hoegaarden haters unite. i knew there was a reason i liked connor.

positive note: he finally gets his way and they go to karaoke. negative note: he contacts logan and it all ends in a confrontation that makes me want to set myself on fire:

screaming, crying, throwing up.

we get another logan monologue of sorts, with certain interjections from the kids. potentially the first honest encounter this show has ever seen? i'm sick of brian cox face by now, so i couldn't be fucked to screengrab.

just have him die already. he's only there because he acknowledges that the kids have "got juice" and yet he calls them "not serious people".... i guess he is right, but i don't have to like it, okay!!!

roman comes crawling back and asks logan this:

logan responds that he needs him and it's the only thing i think roman has ever wanted to hear and i'm going to go scream into a pillow now.

i guess this marks the end of the siblings teaming up (for now). rip.

i feel drained.

bonus:

gerri is still out in the cold in all the ways and is absolutely NOWHERE in this episode. i'm glad she too had the chance to smirk at kerry's audition tape, but it was with hugo.... cancels itself out.

that being said, i've seen the trailer for next week's episode, and i am ready to be hurt again.

cheers!

[nerdypixel]

what tma episode are you on? who’s your fav character? 👀

My last tma Episode was 137 Nemesis. Not through it yet, because it's Gertrude Robinson recording and I need to focus a little more, to be able to understand everything. Some Episode ago there was this meat guy. I didn't get anything from that statement, because I didn't understand anything 😅

But obviously, spoilers ahead for everyone who hasn't listened to The Magnus Archives to this point yet :)

As for favorite characters... I LOVE THE ARCHIVIST! He is such a drama queen and such a bitch at the start, but he really cares, but he also doesn't communicate, which drives me up a wall....

Then Martin obviously. I called the crush from the first Episode. And Jon's crush on Martin starts to really show now. I'm worried about what is happening now that Martin works for Peter.

Speaking of which... I kind of like Peter. I really like his voice, but I don't trust him at all.

I also loved Michael as long as he lasted. I miss his giggles.

And Sasha and Tim. (still too soon to talk about them)

Oh and before I forget her...

I LOVE GORGIE, SHE IS SOOOO CUTE!!!

And the Admiral (obviously)

I also am curious about Agnes. I want to know her a bit more.

Oh and I liked Gerry when Jon talked to him.

And I kind of like the Tramp. (the Vampire killer guy.)

I don't know what to make of Basira and Melanie. Melanie is... I like her, but I don't really get her right now? Her mood is all over the place.

Oh I love Daisy. Even more now that she is more vulnerable. The Episode with Jon and her in the Buried is everything to me :)

Now the strange one... I like Jane Prentiss. She is just really interesting and her statement is stuck in my head.

Yeah... I think that might be everything... I most likely forgot one or two characters. I don't know. But this is already really detailed, I hope it's sufficient :D

As you can tell, I'm obsessed and love this show so much and I think I will be through it in the next week or so. I already know that it ends pretty badly. I don't know how bad, but I can imagine things.

I will definitely draw and write stuff, when I'm ready.

What is your favorite character and are you through it? I love to talk a lot about tma :D

[girlbosstourney]

GIRLBOSS TOURNEY ROUND ONE: I DON'T THINK THESE TWO FOLLOW THE BAR'S ETHICAL GUIDELINES

Select which one you think is GIRLBOSSIER, i.e., which one is the better girlboss

Propaganda

Franziska von Karma:

Whips almost every man she meets and calls everyone a fool. Babe became a prosecutor at age 13 she is the quintessential girlboss; (whips you whips you whips you whips you)

Gerri Kellman:

she's an (ex) higher up iin the fictional equivalent of Fox. scary and a bad person and i love her.; If Shiv roy has more submissions, don't listen to them. Gerri is the ultimate girlboss of succession. She refused to take her job back after being unprofessionally fired and instead blackmailed roman to get her severance pay with her dignity intact. GIRLBOSS MOVE. Gerri will NOT let any bitch humiliate her. To me she is literally untouchable and she's one of the few characters whos legitimately actually smart, not just faking it.. I love shiv so much but she gets pushed around and fucked over way too often to be the girlboss representative for succession over Gerri.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Mag 162 - A Cozy Cabin

Again, it's such a lovely episode, and I adore what it shows us about Martin and Jon so much. Jon getting frustrated and angry and still hurting himself by pressing the rewinding button to hear Gertrude say "I don't think so" several times about fixing the world!! Martin JUMPING on Jon deciding to go, showing he was preparing the whole time for this specifically!!!! Jon being utterly endeared and charmed by Martin's pratical travelling pack! And the very small uncertainty of Martin when Jon decides to bring the recorder -- good. The JM food keeps on being very lovely. Jon deciding to let go of Gertrude, Martin ready to fight the world and burn evil to the ground if necessary - all so good.

I really like the Gertrude and Gerry also because: 1) I love Gerry and we needed so much more of him. 2) Shows us Gertrude was a bitch til the end, even to those she did feel affection for. 3) It sets up Gerry as potential archivist too. I had forgotten that, but it's so interesting, since the previous episode set Sasha for it. Gertrude notably says it's a bad idea, but Gerry doesn't seem disinterested. But of course Elias won't consider Gerry's application: Gerry knows too much and has known too much since he was a kid.

So, in my ideal season 5, I would keep the whole Gertrude/Gerry scene and I would most definitely keep the charming JM ending. However. Look at me, i'm starting to change things.

Get rid of the Tim and Sasha scene. Look, to me it brings nothing to the table - it's more deep cutting irony for sasha, I guess, but it's already too late, we've already been mourning Sasha for several seasons. We already established Sasha as potential archivist beforehand, and we already kind of realized they could be a bit mean to JM in the birthday scenes. ALSO IT RUINS TIM AND JON. The whole point was that they WERE friends, they DID trust each other. It ruins the whole tragedy of their downfall relationship. Plus, we've done Jon bashing all S4. Been there, done that. Just take it away.

REPLACE IT WITH A S1 JON AND ELIAS SCENE. That's the kicker! it's not Sasha who was chosen, it's not Gerry. It's Jon. Show us S1 Jon, alone with Elias. Arguing about the state of the archives? Asking about Gertrude? If we want to keep the fire metaphor thing, talking about the extra security for Prentiss? I like that one because it would be an occasion to show early S1 Jon arguing with Elias expecting Elias to act and protect them, which Elias would "agree to" at the end; it would show Jon's ignorance, specifically the thing that Gerry said was too dangerous, but also Jon's stubborness and desire to know more to protect himself and the people "who are his responsability". For extra, extra tastiness, make it a conversation where Elias enquires about Martin, shows Jon's guilt about it, and get a whole genuine intimate relationship that goes beyond boss/employee. Get us the impression that S1 Jon thought Elias was someone he could confide in in private. and then. AND THEN-

Have the tape crackle as the tape!Elias repeats Jon's voice. Differently this time. Stronger. Have a cool sentence that's not coming to me right now like "Jon, Look at it." or whAtever. Or "It's only the beginning, Jon" or SOMETHING. Something that could both be from the discussion in the tape but also not. Keep Jon's little "what?" and then, bam, statement.

I'd go even harder with the statement cabin showing all the Fears Present, although relistening i realize lots of them are here already. But also i'd make it more clear maybe that it's not the "cabin" so much as Jon and Martin being a storm of all their fears feeding from each other, more than "the cabin".. If that makes sense. But that's not HUGELY necessary, the statement is lovely as is, except at the end, makes it "The Eye doesn't want you to stay here" instead of "doesn't want me to stay here". Makes it all crackle up a thousands. Makes it clear Jon's voice is Elias' voice.

It would make even more sense that Jon was getting furious at Elias, hence why suddenly this all popped up, and also have Jon trying to say something about it Martin without being quite able to explain what just happens and since Martin jumps on the "let's go" train, the thought falls through, at the same time.

[acourtofwritingandreading]

April Reading Log

Well, we're sorta out of our reading slump but we're liking novellas right now.

Love and Protect Revelry The Protector Better Off Bunny Mute Logan Table Barbarian Lover Barbarian Mine One to Hold Bear You Belong Falling for the Veterinarian A is for Aiden B is for Brett F is for Finn G is for Gerry Athica Lane His Curvy Rejected Mate The Monster's Den

Not going to lie, half of these I forgot already.

I ventured into the Ice Planet Barbarians finally and I'm a little sad only two of the descriptions actually grabbed my attention.

The Alphabet Mountain series isn't bad, but good GOD I need this writer to do her research. I'm currently on crutches for the sixth time in my life. I'm damn good on them. I can do the Time Warp. She's got characters doing things that are impossible and somehow the legal system is apparently faster than the human body healing.

Falling for the Veterinarian made me scream and not in a good way. The average person knows three real estate agents. How did you not have one who could tell you THATS NOT HOW REAL ESTATE WORKS?

The Protector is the like the best third person romance book I've ever read.

I was so excited for Athica Lane and then the big reveal was the bad guy was bi-polar. Yeah, well bitch, so's my best friend, and now I'm not sure I'm ever reading another one of your books because that shit is dangerous.

His Curvy Rejected Mate: Damn if Cate C Wells hasn't done it again. AMAZING.

Better Off Bunny was SPECTACULAR. 10/10.

Mute was shockingly great.

The Monster's Den was good but would have been better as a trilogy, major rushing.

[usuallydeepcoffee]

Hii welcome back on this hellsite! 💕💞

I humbly ask all of your opinions about Succession.

Hii anon! I've never left, just RL taking up most of my energy!

Oh boy, my feelings about Succession. I've been following it religiously since season 2 and it's delicious fucking food. But it's also, complex fucking food so idk if I can put into words how I feel about everything. Anyway, here's a few thoughts.

Outside of the Roy siblings, I like/feel bad for Willa? She's in a golden cage of her own making, she even reaches that point where you think that's it, she's gonna run for it, multiple times, but then she never really breaks free (and I do think Con, even on a subconscious level, does manipulate her into staying). Tragic, just like the sibs.

Gerri-Frank-Karl is a top-tier trio. I know that people who root for the Roy sibs usually hate them but c'mon. Also, the more I work, the more I feel for Gerri and Frank.

I am a basic bitch: I'm a Kendall girlie, sorry. Something about him being awkward and cringy the one who's made multiple attempts at breaking off his father's cycle of abuse but at the same time craving his love just screams babygirl. Lmao can't wait to see if he manages to break the cycle once and for all by dying or if he ends up becoming what he hates most. Both make sense dramaturgically. Either way, I'm team Kendall.

For the longest time, I couldn't warm up to Roman (I still haven't forgiven the whole dangling a mil in front of that kid playing baseball. First impressions and everything). I like him a bit more this season. Plus, the whole dick-pick accident was hilarious.

I really liked the way Tom and Shiv would gossip about everyone like a pair of mean girls, pre-betrayal/divorce. And I love how complicated this divorce is. I feel run over by a train every time those two interact.

Idk, give everyone an Oscar and a Nobel prize. It's really a one of a kind show. Everything just works. The score, the writing, the cinematography. It's like watching those Chinese athletes taking perfect dive after perfect dive. 10 10 10.

Handwritten addendum:

Because the Steve Rogers brainrot runs that deep, do not think for a second that I haven't thought about an mcu/succession crossover.

Greg??

[crystallineirises]

Succession 4.3: Connor’s Wedding Liveblog

I’ve never done one of these before AYE

I turned my phone OFF for this. Not silent, OFF

HERE WE GO

“dramatic music playing” no shit you know what show this is

KERRY LOOKS FLY

yeah he likes you *eyebrow raise*

Those letters are pretty cool 

NO THE GERRI SLANDER OH SHIT

SO WILL YOU GIVE HER THE HEADS UP

NICER 

“you were close” WELP is that what the kids are calling it

GIVE. HER THE WORD. TODAY.

*lively music*

Shiv in black is a mood

Tom is Joan Rivers this season i’m living

GREGGING

GREGLETS

GREGGIES

Willaaaaaaa a princess hoe is life ugh love her

I can’t believe the Togan girlies are winning i’m so thrilled for them

OH SHIT CYD TOO

Karolina watch your ass 

DAMN Karolina said fuck my work wife

THEME SONG

my comment about Gerri blowing these fools away with hat!pistol really would be justified 

DAMN I’m glad I switched to the Ted Lasso side as far as romantic ships for this season cause we ain’t winning over here

GOLF CART RICH BITCH

Omg is that Laurie

babygurl is STRESSED

TOM LOOKIN SINISTER

MARTYN

GERRI KNOWS

SHE CANT GO TO EUROPE RUDE

WHY

DICPICGATE

SHE IS FUMING

I’M GOOD

The I’M GOOD heard around the WORLD

OH NO THE TEARS 

OOOOOOH this was bruuuutaaaallll

This poor wedding planner lol that’s gonna be me in two weeks

BEING CUNTY

ARE YOU BEING A CUNT

Kendall looking sharp AF go bitch go

Sup Julie you’re an icon too 

Every assistant level person on this show is an icon

Gerri’s like let me get wasted it’s about go down go DOWN 

Roman why’s your hair so fucked lol i know we’ve talked about it but like wow

What if that was Gerri texting him pictures of her pussy lol

This bitch ain’t sick stop lol

Wait

Wut

OH 

OH FUCK

guess it’s not 9/11 part 2 guess it’s just an old man being an old man lol

Oh it’s Grey’s Anatomy all of a sudden

ON THE GROUND

ON THE FLOOR

TONIGHT WE GON GET IT ON THE FLOOR

his poor sad voice BABYGIRL

YOU DID A GOOD JOB

my heart feels all PANICKED

wow no one thought to start looking for Shiv Jess would never let this happen

SHIVY HONEY

this camera work is beautiful 

I CAN’T HAVE THAT

Sarah Snook’s shaking hands just won her an Emmy

Not to be rude but does this mean Gerri is saved

lovely good plane people

JESS my other baby girl

KEN GO INSIDE WE DON’T LIKE KEN BY WATER

OH wow pilots saying no 

“he’s flying the plane, son” LOL

we were really thinking we’d have to wait around all season for this NO BITCH THIS iS LIVE

Damn

*pours one out*

I just literally poured seltzer water on my carpet

Damn Kerry I sure hope you got that baby though 

GASP

CONNOR

the framing of this shot is gorgeous 

HENEVEREVENLIKEDMEEEEEEEEEEEE

i never got the CHANCE to make him proud of ME

Weddings are just really not good for these people

i wonder how fuckin rich they just got dude lol

oh Roman is the babiest babygirl bad day for Roman all around

And Gerri can’t even comfort him or NOTHIN 

SQUAD

Karolina is that bitch and i’m so about it put her high up in the Kerry/Jess administration

okay $100 bucks says Kerry murdered him

KAROLINA SAID GET OUT LEAVE RIGHT NOW 

Gerri > POTUS as it should be 

DELETE THE LOGISTICS

oh TOM I LOST MY PROTECTOR Togan was real AF for these three episodes

GASP Gerri 

Oh Karolina tryna make up now I don’t know about that 

“are you just with me for money” you...but...like...

Reagan’s with tweaks lol

How do they know already wow did Greg fuck that up 

THAT THE DANCE YOU LIKE SHIV STAY SWINGING

ooook oooooh they’re alone in a room 

Just kidding Roman’s outside now 

CONTROLLL TO GET WHAT I WANT 

GANG IS BACK 

OH HE WANTED HER TO HOLD HIM SO BADLY DAMN us Roman/Gerri babies is suffering 

These strings are going crazy hell yeah scoring

lol everyone with their handshakes

PRESS PRESS PRESS PRESS PRESS LOGANS DONT NEED MORE PRESS

WE INTEND TO BE THERE BAM

Roman said yeaaaah i know it’s stupid, i just gotta SEEEE it for MYSELFFF

[grassbreads]

I have not been able to stop thinking about the 3x9 ceo Tom theory and how good at is since I first read @shootingaflower‘s take on it, so uh, here are some of my many thoughts on the matter:

For a few reasons, I’m pretty certain that the Gerri/Roman dick pic incident is going to end with Gerri staying on as an executive with Waystar, but losing her position as Interim CEO. This leaves an opening.

As of right now, given the tragic dick-downfall of Roman and Gerri, Tom is the only character that has gained favor with Logan this season, rather than lost it. Like Shiv said, he “banked gold” with him when he offered to take the fall for cruises, and Logan’s made it clear that he’ll remember that. When everyone else is fucking up to hell and back (or just personally annoying him, like Shiv), and Tom has recently proven himself to be incredibly loyal and subservient, he’s really the only choice for replacement that makes any kind of sense.

And with that reasoning out of the way, let’s talk about all the ways this theory makes me insane:

First of all, it does a super good job at bringing a sense of meaning to Tom’s season-long prison crisis, which I think we very much need. Right now, given that he spent so much of his time this season fretting about it, the resolution to the “Tom’s going to jail” plotline feels a little hollow. His getting off the hook came out of more or less nowhere, and except for worsening his relationship with Shiv a bit (which probably would have happened anyway), nothing ever came of all that emphasis. If Logan made Tom CEO, though? Now that would be payoff. Letting Tom reap the rewards of his offer would be a brilliant way to make the threat of prison keep feeling like it was significant without him actually having to go, and it would be so cathartic to give him a win in exchange for all that misery and stress.

Plus, the way all this works as a twist on Shiv is fucking delicious. Her encouraging Tom to offer himself up as sacrifice was one of the all time cruelest things she’s done to him, and I think it really cemented (for both Tom and the audience) just how little he can rely on her for love or tenderness. So if she gets fucked over and loses the CEO position to Tom specifically because of the offer that he only made because she encouraged him? Talk about karma being a fucking bitch.

CEO Tom also creates a huge opportunity for more playing with the Tom/Emperor Nero comparison, which I am also obsessed with. The story of Nero and his wife, as Tom tells it at least, is that he killed her by kicking her down a flight of stairs. There’s a really amazing web weaving post that’s been going around digging into the Tom/Nero parallel, but my one problem with that post is that I just don’t think Tom could ever physically hurt Shiv. No matter how bad their marriage gets, I cannot see him doing that. What I can see, however, is Tom “killing” her in the Roy sense of the word, and his taking on the CEO position would absolutely be that in her eyes.

As of 3x8, Shiv wants to be CEO now more than ever, and she sees Tom as her tool/ally in that fight. She’s desperate for it, and she’s also actively gaming and manipulating the situation with Roman and Gerri to try and put herself on top. This is her chance to move up, and there’s no telling when she’ll get another one. Given how much she takes for granted that Tom’s on her side, his using this opening she’s helped create to steal the job she wants so desperately would feel like a huge betrayal. It would kill her, both emotionally and with regards to her career.

Then we’d have Tom taking on the highest non-Logan role in the company (hello emperor parallel) and “killing” his wife all in one plausible move. And given how she treated him last episode, right now is one of the only times that I think Tom is actually capable of doing something that would hurt her.

Plus, once Tom is made emperor and his wife's been “killed,” there’s space to explore the rest of the Nero parallel. Tom doesn’t mention it to Greg, but it’s widely said that Nero’s wife was pregnant when he killed her, and Tom and Shiv have been talking about having kids a lot, so it’s possible they could do something with that connection. And, of course, there’s the whole “Nero castrates and marries Sporus” thing, and whether or not anything explicitly romantic or sexual happens between Tom and Greg, there’s a million ways they could push that parallel.

[hageny]

Hi! I love your Gerri and Roman analyses, so I was curious if you had any thoughts about Gerri's relationship with Laurie. We're introduced to him as she's using him for info about the DOJ investigation but by episode 8, he's apparently become her boyfriend. Which I think is kind of interesting because we've never seen Gerri with a partner at any of the other events before. At least I don't remember any. What do you think is Gerri's motivation behind all of this? Is it to push Roman away? To present a certain kind of public persona? Or maybe it's just simply for personal reasons that started out with an agenda? I'm not really wedded to any answer, I was just curious if you had thoughts. I just think the timing of it is interesting to me. I might be overthinking it though lol. Thanks for listening, either way. Have a great day!

Thanks for the question!

I posted about Gerri and Laurie a few weeks ago in one of my Succession Thoughts posts, musing about how far Gerri would go to get what she wanted from someone (i.e., dating him, sleeping with him, etc.). I think her partnership with Laurie served multiple purposes: 1. to keep Roman at bay, since she felt things between them might be dangerous now that she was CEO, 2. to manipulate Laurie into doing what she wanted, and 3. to showcase how far she's willing to go to get what she wants professionally. She's introduced as a "stone-cold killer bitch" for a reason; when it comes to her work, she does whatever it takes to get what she wants and stay in power: lying, manipulating, and just generally constantly plotting. It's interesting that by the finale we don't see Laurie with Gerri at the wedding, I don't believe, and I think the show leaves it to us to interpret why. I think that her relationship with Roman exists, partly, to showcase how much her personal feelings for him sometimes blur her otherwise fine-tuned business lens. He softens her, makes her question herself, makes her feel many conflicting things. Her relationship with Laurie is basically designed to showcase that the polar opposite part of her still exists, the one who will use--and likely has used--people to get what she wants. That cold part is still there, and her relationship with Roman succeeding depends largely on whether or not she can conquer and change the more vicious side of her personality (the same goes for Roman; to be clear, they can still be bad people and be together, they just have to change emotionally in order to accomplish getting together). I've always argued Gerri is not a nice person--even though sometimes I feel the fandom paints her in a better light than she deserves--and I really think the whole Laurie plotline was used to remind the audience to not forget what Gerri is deep inside. Nobody gets that far being a good person.

[loverboyromanroy]

sorry not to keep harping on this point but i’m convinced that the idea that rg is one-sided is a straight up bad faith interpretation of the show. like. gerri does up his fucking buttons for him after he was public ally humiliated by logan. she consistently sticks her neck out for him and gets him opportunities to prove himself (because she genuinely believes he’s worthy!!) she apologizes explicitly after fucking up in janitors of ohio. she continues to engage with him and support him even after she starts seeing laurie... like that’s the whole fucking point that’s what makes it interesting. to conclude that gerri is some scheming villainous sexually manipulative bitch (to a greater extent than the other characters are) you’d have to ignore any material action she’s taken in the show... my point being it’s literally just misogyny and people refusing to believe that a middle aged woman could a) be genuinely desirable, b) have sexual and (quasi) romantic impulses, and c) that those things aren’t inherently predatory and wicked

also ALSO i do think that looking back she would've probably been better off without roman because logan respected her enough already. and now he 100% respects her less knowing roman had a thing for her (and he doesn't even know that at one point it was mutual). so to say that she did a lot of things because she cared about him is not so crazy (2/2)

just gonna say like...totally! the interesting thing about all of the characters is that they're flawed and hungry for recognition/affection and selfish and love in the wrong ways and to interpret gerri as the only character that isn't those things is unfair and, to me, reads as misogynistic and ageist

[willow-salix]

The story... Of my precious one.

So, I was knocking around ebay and I see a listing pop up for an 'Allan Tracey " action figure. Meh, thinks I, it'll just be the carton one from 2000's...but I click... And audibly gasp, like full out" my fucking Gods!" scream.

Because I know that face anywhere, and that ain't no Alan... THAT'S JOHN BITCH!

He's lost the tip of his nose, he's wearing what might be either a sack or a sock... We aren't quite sure.

I show him to the girls and @misssquidtracy proclaims him to be hideous and haunting her when she closes her eyes... @olliepig says he has a flipper for a foot... I squeaked a protest because I was already in love by this point, totally and utterly in love with this gorgeous beast. @inertplanetary went awww because she's supportive. Not like those other two cow bags... Anyway....

I slap a bid in quicker than I would slap the next person that tells me Gerry hated John.

For six days I watch, I lurk, I pray to every Thundergod up there, because damn do I deserve some luck right now. So I pray, I pray with everything I have inside. I pray that people will be put off by the sack, that they will think he is ugly too, that they will miss him because he's misspelt and mislabelled. I want him more than anything in the world...

You see, I know my shit, I've done my research, and I know that they DO NOT make John stuff very often, either they make a full set or they make Scott, Virgil and Alan, you never get Gordon or John, and I was fully aware that in recent times there had been no John action figure made, which meant... Original from the 60's yo! So I tracked that sucker down...

Made by Fairylite, limited production run, genuine 60s and I was determined to get him.

I'd stuck on 99p and it didn't move at all. Twenty minutes before the end and I was sweating, like heart palpitations, anxiety attack for days, because I hate bidding on things, hate it. This little voice in my head, the one I always listen to says "up your bid" I'm like, but no one else is here... But I do it anyway, throw in £25 as a starter.

And I wait...

I have a minute to go and I literally cannot look, I'm laying on the couch with my big chief John sat on my shoulder like a gorgeous blue parrot and the cat staring at me. My eyes are covered... Kid had control of the stereo and for some reason best known to itself her Spotify takes that moment to throw up "Phantom of the Opera" dun... Dun dun dun dundun... I scream at her to get rid coz that's not helping my anxiety... She scrambles... Finds soothing 5sos apparently.

Eyes still covered... I peek... 25seconds to go. Close eyes again...

I feel my phone vibrate at 15 seconds, that means I got outbid.

I almost start to cry. It finishes. I opened my eyes....

Some bastard had tried to outbid me in the last seconds but aimed too low and I got him!!

Baby was coming home!

I was an anxious mess until my lovely postie handed me a box five days later...

He looked like a mummified body... The sack didn't help. But my gods he was gorgeous!! Just the most amazing nose missing, slightly crossed eyed, fading at the temples boy I had ever seen!

I quickly order him something more dignified and it arrived today

I get the scissors and prepare him...

Strip tease... Oh mmmmmyyyyyy @selene-tempest I'm sorry about this...

Cover ya bits baby, this is a family house... Cat is trying to help but its not Virgil so she doesn't really care, he's the only one she's got a crush on. She doesn't mind Scott but she does not care for Alan.

JOHN'S SPACESUIT TIGHT!

It won't go over his peachy ass! I had to wrestle this bad boy on.

Baby too thicc... He got muscles for days...

Look at those pecs...

And he's on the John shelf!!!

Edit: I wanted to have him sitting next to Big Chief John but the suit is so tight he can't bend, coz he muscle man. So until I get him more wardrobe items he's standing like Bond in the background.

Also his flipper feet are too big for the shoes that came with it. So he barefoot.

It was a saga, it was a battle that I valiantly and willingly fought... And he's mine! I'm in love.

[kendallstewy]

Succession characters and their favorite Lana Del Rey albums

Kendall: Honeymoon. Wallows in the melancholy of lines like “I’ve got nothing much to live for ever since I found my fame” and “I don’t matter to anyone.” Relates a little too hard to the line “You could be a bad motherfucker, but that don’t make you a man.” Blasts the song The Blackest Day because one of the lines is a direct quote from him, “Looking for love in all the wrong places.” Cries while listening to Terrence Loves You because it reminds him of Stewy (“And I lost myself when I lost you”). Listens to High By The Beach after leaving the press conference (“Everyone can start again, not through love but through revenge”). In general respects Lana’s ability to write about being high and miserable at the same time.

Roman: Paradise. Likes off-the-wall lines like “My pussy tastes like Pepsi cola” and “I was an angel looking to get fucked hard.” “Don’t treat me rough, treat me really niceys” fits his speech patterns. Thinks he’s ironic with “Be young, be dope, be proud, like an American” but unironically identifies with “You were like so sick, everybody said it.” Relates hardcore to “Have to touch myself to pretend you’re there,” when Gerri isn’t around. Secretly changes his phone wallpaper to a picture of Lana as a calming influence after getting back from Turkey (“All I've got to keep myself sane, baby”).

Shiv: Ultraviolence. Has a love/hate relationship with it. Hates the songs Sad Girl, Pretty When You Cry, and Fucked My Way Up To The Top based on their names alone. Likes the song Brooklyn Baby solely on the lyric, “If you don't get it, then forget it, so I don't have to fucking explain it.” Listens to Money Power Glory after she leaves Gil’s campaign. “I’m gonna take you for all that you’ve got” gets stuck in her head a lot. “Well my boyfriend’s pretty cool, but he’s not as cool as me” reminds her of Nate. Makes fun of Lana’s SNL performance but secretly feels solidarity with her as a woman who never backs the fuck down. Tom: Born To Die. Loves the idea of being a Midwest boy entrenched in Hollywood glamor. Serenades Shiv with Video Games (“They say that the world was built for two”) (emphasis on “two”) and then sarcastically sings National Anthem at Greg (pretending to be Greg during the lines, “He says to be cool but I don’t know how yet”). Wants to play Radio to everyone when he steps up at Waystar to show off (“How do you like me now?”). Defends Lana every time she takes to Instagram to complain about the press twisting her words (He Here For Her). Greg: Lust For Life. Sings “Uh ah, uh ah uh ah, don’t worry baby” while copying incriminating documents and then, “Who’s doper than this bitch, who’s freer than me?” while he lies in wait with them. Thought about saying, “'Cause we're the masters of our own fate, we're the captains of our own souls” in defense of the business open relationship before Tom pelted him with water bottles. Takes up the mantra of “If you were me, and I was you, I'd get out of my way” during Kendall’s press conference. Meets Lana after a show and she signs his album “Machiavellian future Daddy xoxo”

Connor: Norman Fucking Rockwell. Hasn’t actually listened to it and mistakenly thinks it’s actually called “Norman Freaking Rockwell” but likes it on principle because Norman Rockwell is all-American like Connor and his campaign. Willa listens to it and appreciates that the first words of the first song are “Goddamn, man-child.”