#I love their friendship so fucking much that I have the sudden urge to cry cause I miss my high school friends

[peculiar-astronaut]

The pic on the left is from the sign of the four (1888)

The pic on the right is from the missing three-quarter (1897)

So it actually took Sherlock around 10 years to quit drugs? And it really hits me how the relation between them changed totally over those 10 years, like obv John is more used now to Sherlock and knows his habits and is a big reason why Sherlock was able to quit drugs :"((

[piichuu]

♡ SPILLED OUT WORDS - FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

WARNINGS: fluff, gn!reader

WORD COUNT: 777

NOTES: thank you so much for this request! i hope it’s what you wanted and sorry for the wait <333

fushiguro megumi has always hated seeing other boys flirt with you. the urge to punch all of them right in the face has been gnawing at him, but he has always succeeded to stop himself before ruining someone’s face, and possibly your friendship.

sometimes, megumi wishes he could shut his feelings down, because why would he fall in love with his best friend out of all people? why you? well, he understands why he fell in love with you because what is there not to love about the person who’s been making him smile since you were both seven years old?

the two of you practically live at each other’s houses. studying together, playing games together, napping together, crying together, eating together. you do everything with the other party, always making sure the other one is okay and putting smiles on each other’s faces.

that is something megumi would never want to ruin, but his feelings for you are becoming too much. every time he sees you, his heart aches. it aches for your heart. it needs you to know of his love, but how would he ever be able to admit his feelings after such a long time?

he can’t help himself from having to take deep breaths because his heart always tends to beat quicker with you close by. how can he keep going like this for many years to come? maybe it’s better to just get those feelings out? maybe your friendship has already been ruined because of his never ending feelings.

“you’re staring ‘gumi, what’s wrong?” that nickname, he can almost swear that he’s most likely blushing like crazy right now. it’s a name you’ve called him since you two first got to know each other but a name that has only began to melt his heart for the past couple of years.

the two of you are sitting on the couch in his dorm, watching a tv-show together that you’ve both found to like, but megumi can barely focus on it as his mind is caught by you.

“oh, no nothing, i’m fine,” he mutters, trying to avoid your gaze by quickly looking away and staring right at the tv-screen.

you tilt your head to the side. “come on, there’s always something going on when you’re staring. do you want to tell me something? don’t you like this show anymore? we could change-“

“no, i’m fine. stop thinking you know everything about me,” he interrupts, taking you aback as his tone is different from just seconds ago.

he lets out a sigh and leans against the cushion, hiding his face in his hands. “i’m sorry, i just can’t-“ he stops himself from speaking any further, but you want to hear more, raising a brow and shuffling slightly closer to him. “what? you can’t what?”

megumi avoids your gaze, not wanting to look you in the eyes as he opens his mouth to speak the words that’s been on the tip of his tongue for years. “i like you, i have for years, i can’t just pretend like it’s nothing,” he finally admits.

in all honesty, he had thought of this scenario at least a thousand times in his head and he couldn’t help but expect a more dramatic confession, but he’s never really been like that. if anything, he prefers it to be like this, where it’s just the two of you alone, but maybe he’s fucked everything up now. perhaps this will be it for your years of friendship.

“‘gumi….” you finally speak as megumi is making himself ready to bolt out the front door and never see your face again, but he’s quickly stopped as you continue to talk. “if you would’ve told me earlier, we would have probably been a couple for years now.”

he finally looks towards you with wide eyes as there’s a smile playing on your lips. “i really really like you too,” that’s all he needs to hear to breathe out in relief.

for a while, the two of you just look at each other in silence before you all of a sudden wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug. megumi chuckles lightly and puts his arms around your middle as you cuddle up on the couch, holding onto each other. “how long have you been feeling the same?” megumi asks as you bury your face into the crook of his neck.

“since we were kids,” you mumble as he pulls you closer to him, like it’s the most natural thing he’s ever done. “guess we’ll have to make up for all those years we didn’t tell each other then…”

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[imwetforyourmom]

not her

pt2

warnings: swearing, jealousy, crying, comparison, not proofread

a/n: yall seem like super excited about this series and im all for it tf

a/n 2: if ts is lowk sad, thats my fault, it was an accident I was listening to partially sad music and rlly got into it

PREVIOUS CHAPTER ~~~ NEXT CHAPTER

~

over the past few days, matt and amelias friendship had gotten closer, while y/n and matts was no less than just the title of ‘dating’. they didnt hang out, they didnt talk much and they didnt go on dates. but when y/n did ask matt to do anything, it was always ‘cant. im with amelia’ or ‘cant. ill be with amelia then’. it was always amelia this, amelia that. but never ‘sure baby! i totally want to hangout with my girlfriend’

y/n was fucking over it. she wanted to talk with matt about this all. she wasnt fucking gonna deal with het own boyfriend not acting like her boyfriend.

so, thats where she found herself, standing behind matt where he sat with amelia next to him. it was very obvious was she was being more than friendly to him, her hand was caressing his arm and her eyes were staring deeply into his. y/n bit her lip, fighting back the urge to bitch slap amelia.

y/n ran her hands through matts hair, annoucing her presence. matt flinched at the sudden touch, whipping his head around to look at who had just touched his hair. his eyes softening and a small smile creeping onto his lips when he saw who it was.

“matt? can we talk please?” y/n asked, her eyes studying matts features, god how she missed being this close to him, to be able to admire him.

matt turned his head to look at amelia, before looking back at y/n, “im talking with amelia, maybe later?” he asked. remorse present in his voice.

y/n moved her hand away from him and took a step back from them, refusing to look at amelia, as her eyes glossed over and a lump in her throat grew. breathing grew harder and she knew talking wouldnt be any easier.

“y- yeah. thats fine.” she mumbled, her voice breaking, she took a breath in. and began walking away, but not before saying a quick “I love you” to him out of instinct. she took slower steps away, expecting one back, she wanted to hear him say he loved her too.

but when she didnt hear one back and only heard him resume talking to amelia, her eyes immediately lost all control over the tears in her eyes, the hot tears running down her cheeks faster than she could comprehend. she held her breath, trying to make no sound obvious to the sobs she wanted to let out. but she couldnt let matt know how upset she was about this, and she certainly didnt want amelia feeling the satisfaction of making her cry.

y/n moved quickly, leaving the library where that entire interaction went down and pushed past the doors of the school, walking quick to her car.

she opened the door and sat inside, closing it the door and immediately breaking down, her sobs being loud, her tears being fast as they poured down her cheeks and her breathing incredibly hard.

she couldnt fucking believe it, her own boyfriend chose some other girl over her.

the boy she used to kiss goodnight and sleep in his arms every weekend, the boy she used to be able to come to and expect not to be lonely, the boy she knew she could come to when she was upset or when she just wanted company. but now she wasnt sure if she could, matt only wanted to be with amelia and not y/n.

does he understand how much he meant means to y/n? hes the reason shes not lonely, he was the reason she was able to fall asleep so peacefully at night, he was the reason she was happy everyday, so content with life and now she couldnt have that anymore because of that stupid fucking girl. stupid fucking bitch named amelia.

she took him away from her and she didnt know what to do. its obvious matt wasnt interested in y/n and was only interested in amelia and what she wanted to say or do, not the girl he dedicated his life to, not the girl he told ‘im yours’, not the girl he used to say ‘I love you’ to every time he possibly could.

y/n just wasnt her, not amelia, not what matt wanted, she didnt have beautiful green eyes like amelia did, she didnt have that lovely orange color of hair amelia did, she didnt have naturally beautiful freckles covering her skin like amelia did. amelia was her, and y/n wasnt.

y/n only cried harder, pulling her knees to her chest and hiding her face in her knees, sobs escaping her throat. being so gutural, it scratched her throat with each sound leaving her lips. but that didnt compare with the aching pain she felt in her chest, the lump in her throat being so big she could barely breathe.

what matt had dismissed earlier so easily wasnt so easy to handle with for y/n. all she wanted was matt to be her boyfriend and act like it.

she wanted to dial his number and call him, but she couldnt run to him like she always did. he wasnt going to be there for her like he always was, but he was going to be there for amelia.

a pit in her stomach formed with the overgrowing urge to run to matt, her body so familar with always going to matt, being so familar with his hands rubbing her back as sweet words left his lips, his voice lulling her to the warm hug of being okay. but she couldnt have him, she couldnt have the same comforting feeling he brought her.

she wanted him, she needed him but he wasnt within her arms reach anymore and she felt sick. sick with words she wanted to tell him. sick with the need of feeling matts touch. sick to her stomach with just wanting matt in her prescense, he wouldnt even have to do anything. she just wanted him with her with the gentle reminder he wanted her too and in the same room, but instead he was talking with another girl, giving his attention to another girl.

‘another girl, another girl’ was all y/n heard, her thoughts screaming into her ears.

1107 words.

@luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @genshin-addict @mels22lunchbox @ssilentzom @haunted-headset @dollyspsychoxo @sturnib-tch @b2cute @livvy4realll @graysturns @wh0resstuff @jnkvivi @mattsmad @sturn-bugz @sleepysturnss @xbabyd0lli3x @norr1ssturni0lo @nayveetbhh @jamiesturniolo

[jamiewintons]

You Deserve Better (Jamie Winton/F!Reader)

Summary: You and your toxic boyfriend break up, and your best friend Jamie is there to comfort you.

Tags/Warnings: Friends to Lovers, discussions of toxic relationships/cheating. Reader’s ex bf is named Owen because I legitimately looked up a random name generator and that’s what came up. Sexual references. Misogyny (from the awful boyfriend).

A/N: Based on an anonymous request that reads - "can i request jamie comforting reader after a breakup but he's like He didnt treat u right he wasnt exactly nice to you. and then he confesses he likes u and just some nice comfort plssss". So, I hope that the anon and everyone else who chooses to read this enjoys it very much!

Word Count: 2658

Jamie Tag List: @demontoucansam @the-fandomgremlin @clydethesnake @abloomingspaceship @butlersluvbot

~~~

Jamie had never liked your boyfriend. And it wasn’t because of the massive crush he had harboured for you since not long after the two of you became friends, no matter what Dave tried to say. Well, maybe it was a little bit about that, but Jamie also had plenty of valid reasons to hate the guy. For starters, he was a dick.

You had met Owen - the aforementioned dick of a boyfriend - at work about six months ago. Jamie had never been able to understand what you saw in him. Owen was rude, dismissive, and worst of all, utterly disrespectful of you. He mocked your interests, damaged your self-esteem with his 'opinions' on how you dressed and did your hair, and he especially didn’t approve of you having male friends - though thankfully, you were pretty adamant about keeping your friendships, but it did cause a lot of arguments that would often leave you crying on Jamie’s shoulder. 

Jamie always tried his best to be polite to Owen, even if deep down he hated the guy. He was sure he’d never disliked someone more in his entire life. You deserved to be treated like a princess, and Owen didn’t seem to appreciate how lucky he was to have been chosen by you. Dave often urged Jamie to make a move, but he didn’t want to be one of those weird guys who hit on their female friends. He worried that it would make you think that he’d only befriended you to try and get in your pants, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. When the two of you had met, Jamie was still mourning the disappearance of his wife, Layla, but his feelings of friendship for you slowly turned into romantic ones when he realised how sweet you were, and suddenly he realised you were the most beautiful woman in the world to him. He’d been sure he’d never move on from Layla, but you were the first person to make him want to try again.

But unfortunately, it was Owen that you liked, and not Jamie. All he could do was be a supportive friend and comfort you when you and Owen had yet another fight, but you’d always end up going back to him. It hurt Jamie to see you do that. Even if you didn’t come to the sudden realisation that you loved him, Jamie wanted to see you with someone who would make you happy, rather than someone who reduced you to tears every other week.

When he got your text saying that you and Owen had cheated on you and the two of you had broken up, Jamie couldn’t believe what he was reading. Cheating was a pretty evil thing to do in Jamie’s book as it was, but why the fuck would anyone ever cheat on you? You were smart, sweet, funny… as well as completely gorgeous - the whole package, really. Your only real flaw in Jamie’s eyes was that you didn’t see how wonderful you were (and that was probably part of the reason you ended up dating such a toxic nightmare). What he wouldn’t give to be able to tell you how amazing and beautiful he thought you were… but it would probably come off as weird, since you were just friends and you’d never expressed any romantic interest in him.

It was only about half an hour til the bank shut when Jamie got your text. You were probably the one of the only things in the world Jamie cared about more than his precious routine, so he asked someone else to close up for the night and left in a hurry. He made a quick trip to the shops to buy a tub of your favourite ice-cream - hoping to bring a smile to your face - and then headed straight to your house, knocking on your door and nervously fidgeting with his tie until you answered.

"Thought you might need this," Jamie said when you opened the door, your tear-stained cheeks making his heart ache. You were already wearing pyjamas despite the fact that it was only just after 6.30pm, so you were obviously going through a bit of a spiral. He couldn’t blame you for that after what had happened today.

"Thanks," you sniffled, taking the tub from Jamie’s hands and bringing him inside. You shut the door behind him, and went to place the ice cream on the table before moving back to give Jamie a hug. When you rested your head on his shoulder, he felt his heart melt. It took every ounce of his willpower to not press a gentle kiss to your forehead or run his fingers through your hair. He just wanted to hold you and make you smile again, but after a few moments you pulled away and he couldn’t help but mourn the loss of your body pressed against his. "I wasn’t expecting you to come over so quickly. You’re the best."

"It’s no problem." Jamie’s cheeks flushed a little when you called him 'the best', but he was happy that you didn’t seem to notice. He watched as you walked to the kitchen and grabbed a spoon so that you could start eating the ice cream he’d bought you straight from the tub. When you took your first mouthful of the ice cold dessert, your eyes did brighten ever so slightly. Mission accomplished, he thought to himself. "You’re going through something horrible, and it’s the least I can do as your friend."

"You remembered my favourite ice cream flavour," you mused, and Jamie followed you into the living room so you could sit side by side on the sofa. Then, you stabbed your spoon into the ice cream once again so you could scoop some more out.

"Of course I did." That was a pretty basic thing to remember about someone you’d been close friends with for years, Jamie thought.

"Owen never would have remembered something like that." You released a long, deep sigh of exasperation, looking like you were about to start ranting. Jamie didn’t mind. He knew that you would definitely need to vent after everything that had happened, and besides… he thought you were cute when you started rambling. Ugh, he was so sappy. "He never remembered anything about me. Honestly, I’m surprised he even remembered my name most days."

For the next few minutes, you spoke at length about all of Owen’s flaws. Honestly, it was refreshing to see you speaking your mind about him like this. In the midst of all of you and Owen’s fights while you were still dating, you would blame yourself for all of your relationship issues, no matter how many times Jamie tried to convince you that it wasn’t your fault. So Jamie didn’t interrupt - except to quietly agree with your assessment of the situation - and allowed you all the time you needed to get things off your chest.

"And this is a bit of a TMI, but he was really selfish in bed. Like he did not care whether I enjoyed myself or not. So good luck to that girl I caught him with. Hope she’s good at faking orgasms." You laughed dismissively, and then ate another spoonful of ice cream.

Jamie’s face flushed slightly, partially because of your use of the word orgasm, but mostly because he was trying not to think about the fact that if he had a chance with you, he’d do everything he could to make sure you were satisfied, and— yeah, he needed to not think about that, otherwise he’d have an embarrassing problem on his hands, and he didn’t want to humiliate himself in front of you. Then, what you’d actually said - apart from the bit about sex - sunk in. You’d actually caught Owen with another woman? "Do you, uh… do you want to talk about what happened?" he asked, both because he wanted you to talk about what happened for your own good, but also because it would distract him from thinking about… well, satisfying you. "Only if you feel comfortable."

You sighed again, but this time you sounded tired, defeated. "There’s not much to tell, I suppose…" You dropped your spoon into the tub of ice cream. It seemed like you were all out. Jamie internally scolded himself for not getting you a bigger tub. "I went over to his flat because we’d had lunch plans earlier, and he’d stood me up. Turns out he’d forgotten about me because he was too busy shagging some other woman. I walked in on them in bed together."

Jamie noticed your eyes starting to well with tears as you recalled the story, so he put his arm around you. You seemed to be comforted by the gesture and rested your head on his shoulder again, melting Jamie’s heart once more. God, you were so precious, but he couldn’t think about that right now. You needed a supportive friend, not an idiot fawning over you.

"When they saw I’d walked in, the woman quickly got dressed and left. Once she was gone, Owen and I ended up having another fight." Your voice had begun to get a bit shaky, another sign that you might start crying. Jamie wanted to nip that in the bud - seeing you cry was honestly a heart-shattering sight - but it was what you said next that truly confused him. "When I asked him why he’d cheated, he said that he had every right because I’d cheated first."

"What?" Jamie asked, utterly baffled. That did not sound like you at all, and even if you had cheated, Jamie probably would have known about it already since he was your closest friend and you told him pretty much everything.

"That’s what I said! Then he was like 'Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about', and when I asked him to explain he said 'Don’t pretend that there’s not anything going on between you and that Jamie guy'…" You’d cleaned up what Owen had actually said, since he hadn’t used such kind words to refer to Jamie and you didn’t want him hearing such horrid things being said about him.

Oh Jesus Christ… Jamie thought to himself, his heart pounding fast inside of his ribcage. Owen had actually thought that you and him had some kind of secret affair going on? He couldn’t help but feel like everything you’d gone through today was his fault, since Owen had believed he was justified in cheating because you apparently had already cheated… with him! That was when Jamie realised that you were still talking, and that he should probably get back to listening.

"He said 'Obviously you’re shagging him, because why else would he be hanging around you? It’s not like you’ve got anything else to offer,' and that’s when I told him it was over and I left. Then I came back home and texted you." You took a deep breath, having got to the end of your story. Well, there was something else that you’d wanted to say, but you weren’t sure whether now was the right time.

That certainly had been a lot. Jamie hardly knew what to say. "He’s a dick," was what he settled on saying, and he heard you let out a little riffle that made his heart flutter.

"Yeah, he is," you agreed, and Jamie could tell from your voice that you were smiling.

There was a long silence after that, with you still resting your head on Jamie’s shoulder. It felt so right sitting there with you like that, so close with his arm around your shoulder. It was like this was how things were meant to be. That was probably what possessed Jamie to say what he said next. "You know, I never thought Owen was good enough for you," he said softly, tilting his own head to the side and resting it on top of yours. You didn’t make any attempt to move away, so he assumed you were fine with it.

"I always thought that he was a dick, and he never treated you properly. You deserve someone who remembers your lunch plans and cares about whether you get off or not." He usually wouldn’t just come out and say something like that so plainly, but he was just speaking his mind now and wasn’t thinking too much about how he actually said things. "And you definitely deserve someone who doesn’t go around shagging other women just because he got jealous over something that wasn’t true—"

"It… wasn’t entirely untrue…" you replied, and Jamie sat up straight so that he could look at you.

"What… what do you mean?" Jamie’s heart began to race. Surely you didn’t mean what it sounded like you meant, right? He took a breath to try and keep himself calm, and it annoyed him how shaky it was.

"I mean, I… I have always had a bit of a crush on you…" You admitted, and Jamie was sure that he was dreaming or he was in a coma or something. There was absolutely no way that this was real. He felt you take your head off his shoulder and he looked at your face to try and determine whether you were joking or not.

You were blushing. Did that mean...? "A crush... a crush on me...?" Jamie asked softly, like the idea of anyone - let alone you, the most wonderful person in the world - having a crush on him was absolutely unthinkable.

"Yes, Jamie. I have a crush on you. A big one." You couldn't help but smile. You'd been unsure for a while whether Jamie felt anything beyond friendship for you, but his frankly adorable reaction to you telling him how you feel seemed to confirm that he did. "I have for years."

Jamie's face went completely red, and he was beginning to worry that he was going to faint. "You... you never said anything," he managed after a few moments of stammering uselessly, his cheeks feeling like they were on fire.

Of course you hadn't said anything! You'd been under the impression that the man was pining for his missing wife since the two of you had met. "I guess... I thought I wasn't good enough for you," you said with a shrug, not wanting to bring up the whole Layla situation if you didn't have to. Before you even had the chance to open your mouth to continue speaking, Jamie was talking again.

"You're not good enough for me?" Jamie shook his head, in complete disbelief. "Love, you're so far out of my league I feel ridiculous even fantasising about you.."

You couldn't help but giggle softly - both at Jamie calling you 'love', and him admitting that he'd fantasised about you. "You fantasise about me a lot, then?" It was hard to resist teasing him, especially when his cheeks flushed like that.

"I... uh..." Jamie rubbed the back of his neck nervously, unable to believe he'd just come out and said something like that to you, especially when you'd only just admitted you liked him. God, he was such an idiot sometimes. He knew that he should say something, do something, anything other than just sit there frozen, but he was at a complete loss.

Luckily, you seemed to know exactly what needed to be done.

The sound that escaped Jamie when he finally felt your lips against his was one of both contentment and relief. It just felt so... right. Like all of those years thinking that he wasn't good enough for you just melted away in an instant. Jamie brought his hands up to cradle your face as you kissed, stroking his thumbs against your cheekbones.

Eventually, the two of you had to pull away from each other, and Jamie could swear that the way you were looking at him right now was almost as good as the kiss. It was like you couldn't think of anywhere in the world you'd rather be than right here, with him - the exact same way he felt about you.

[baekhvuns]

Was The Crown good? I'm so behind I didn't realise it came out, pretty sure I haven't finished the previous season 😬

Maybe it's good I don't live in LA, because I would go bankrupt with all the gigs and prices..

I'll start calling you Baeksussy from now on, because you're always up to no good 👀

Literally, because I see people celebrating Taemin's return this month and I'm like "besties, I have some bad news..." unless they surprise us and he comes back early. You know what, I actually don't know who Taemin is???

Me going to see Seonghwa at the night club I came here to drop some money, dropping all my money

Oh yes big accounts are guilty of taking jokes too far and being annoying in general, that's why I have 50% of Atinys blocked akdhiagshahahaa can't stand their asses.

Not stalkers at it again... On a lighter note, Wooyoung paid for Atinys meal, me when. Pay my rent!

You know who should invite Key? Drag Race South Korea, it's apparently happening sooooo

Seonghwa, Ddeonghwa, Hwaseong, Mars, Hwa, Seong so many different personalities. (I set the wallpaper 😭). Truly Seonghwa is genuinely so sweet, nerdy, wholesome, sensitive, smart and sexy too?! He needs to calm down

It's good your friend is using kaddy, it should be much easier! Wish her good luck, may the force be with her. :3

Platinum CEO Hwa in theatres near me? Can he come to my house?

The lacey blouse he's wearing for Paradigm :o we're in danger!!!

Not Seonghwa trying to rename Shinestars again?! What does he have against that name it's so fucking perfect. No Ddeongwives, no Ddeongps.... S H I N E S T A R S

Yes, I'm very into Seonghwa's shoulders and arms era 🥴 and clearly I'm not the only one

Twins AU? But how do you choose :///

Hwa's shoulders are already nice and wide, he wants to commit to the Dorito shape even more 😭 I didn't mind gym lessons, because it meant I could do the bare minimum, but the only thing I do at the gym is exercise my legs (track, bike) lmao. Omfg those exercising games can be fun, but not when the whole school is watching and waiting for you to embarrass yourself 💔

I wonder what's gonna happen in PD3, hope D*sn*t doesn't fuck it up completely

I know a few people who would love to be pulled over by Wonho. Yes, he is!

Uh I think BTS showed up in my dream recently, but only for a second, I was also crying lol

That fucking nose on Hehetmon, Yunho why 😬

"See you later" just like "European dates will be announced soon" right 🤡

Please

Aaaaand we got Sanhwa patisserie!!!

Hongjoong looks cute, but Seonghwa... between him looking like an adorable grandpa, SPREADING, big ass shoes and a tin of crisps I don't know where to look

Me at Seonghwa Kino wife material, lol

I got "full moon lighting up my lovers face"

Bestie, Seonghwa's vlog, so far I saw arms and him flexing his Black Opium perfume.... - DV 💖

hi hello!!

Was The Crown good? I'm so behind I didn't realise it came out, pretty sure I haven't finished the previous season 😬

im at the last ep, and tbh i haven’t moved on them the last season characters esp the queen! but the diana this season is just sOOO 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼 its crazy how their facial features rly match! truly the best diana ever. literally.

diana and her pakistani men <33 mr mohammed al-fayed and his friendship with diana >>> and mr dodi is very 🧍🏻‍♀️ ive been quoting this for the past few days and i cannot stop this is an addiction with the fact that i have a sudden urge to speak in their posh accent

Maybe it's good I don't live in LA, because I would go bankrupt with all the gigs and prices..

no seriously 😭😭 every god damn thing just happens there and for it to be so expensive but not even clean is 🔫🔫 its so romanticized too! i feel like one can sign bankruptcy the second they look at a door to a house, bc YOU KNOW THE DOOR BE MAD EXPENSIVE TOO

I'll start calling you Baeksussy from now on, because you're always up to no good 👀

BAEKSUSSY JEGDKWHDKSHKCUKC 😭😭😭 IM SCREAMING

Literally, because I see people celebrating Taemin's return this month and I'm like "besties, I have some bad news..." unless they surprise us and he comes back early. You know what, I actually don't know who Taemin is???

saw a panchoa article saying “idols who’ll return from the military next year” and it said baekhyun and on this date then taemin it said n/a and i lost it,,, i need this man to drop a date we are thirsty. hungry. not breathing.

NO BC ONE OF THOSE WHO BE CELEBRATING IS ME IN MY DELULU 😭😭😭 ur right, who’s taemin? taeyeon’s cousin? taeyong’s brother? no idea.

Me going to see Seonghwa at the night club I came here to drop some money, dropping all my money

LMFAOOOO id waste all my money on him tbh,, as long as the stripper in him continues take my money 🤲🏼

Oh yes big accounts are guilty of taking jokes too far and being annoying in general, that's why I have 50% of Atinys blocked akdhiagshahahaa can't stand their asses.

YEAAHHH its the way ppl dickride them without pointing out where they’re wrong is very 🔫🔫 ur so right on that, blocking and moving on lowkey was glad that twt was gonna seize to exist 😭😭

Not stalkers at it again... On a lighter note, Wooyoung paid for Atinys meal, me when. Pay my rent!

LMFAOOOO FBQKDJWLDKW PAY MT RENT 😭😭 PAY MY TUITION WOOYOUNG JUST GIMME UR ROLEX I WONT ASK FOR ANYTHING ELSE

You know who should invite Key? Drag Race South Korea, it's apparently happening sooooo

STOP. STOP STOP HE’D BE PERFECT STOPPP ID WATCH IT JUST FOR HIM, he’d judge so hard too and without any bias 🤚🏼 if sm sends boa again 😭😭

Seonghwa, Ddeonghwa, Hwaseong, Mars, Hwa, Seong so many different personalities. (I set the wallpaper 😭). Truly Seonghwa is genuinely so sweet, nerdy, wholesome, sensitive, smart and sexy too?! He needs to calm down

he’S SO AGGRAVATINGLY HANDSOME, WHOLESOME no how can someone be a wholesome sexy? how. who tHE FUCK CAN EVEN DO THAT (im so glad u did bc it reminds is of our roots) BESIDE HIM??? WHAT WONDER DID HE DO LAST LIFE TO GET THIS IMMENSE EVERYTHING ???? god’s favourite truly, when is it my turn to BE UR FAVOURITE

It's good your friend is using kaddy, it should be much easier! Wish her good luck, may the force be with her. :3 /// Platinum CEO Hwa in theatres near me? Can he come to my house? The lacey blouse he's wearing for Paradigm :o we're in danger!!!

its really going good for her! thank you for your expertise!! she’s currently stuck trying to get good thank your cards <3 will be making a batch 😭😭 WDYM IN UR HOUSE BESTIE HES THE MAN UR ARRANGED TOO, HES IN UR HOUSE FOREVER <33 WE’RE IN DEEP DANGER. HAHA. he looks like he’s about to star in the house of dragons with that on

Not Seonghwa trying to rename Shinestars again?! What does he have against that name it's so fucking perfect. No Ddeongwives, no Ddeongps.... S H I N E S T A R S

he’s what

Yes, I'm very into Seonghwa's shoulders and arms era 🥴 and clearly I'm not the only one /// Twins AU? But how do you choose :///

if he drops one more photo like that, im quitting kpop 🔫

hear me out, one’s the nerd. the other’s the resident fuckboy or whatever. yn likes the nerd twin (let’s name him hwaseong) and seonghwa (the fuckboy) finds that out and decides to make his mission to tease yn about it bUT they come on an agreement where yn begs seonghwa to help her in getting hwaseong and her together which obviously he’s gonna say no too, but then eventually comes around! and so then it starts,,, he’ll tell her what he likes and just watch yn fuck up dbwmdhsk all while he enjoys <33 tho it’ll def be confusing with using the names 😭😭

Hwa's shoulders are already nice and wide, he wants to commit to the Dorito shape even more 😭 I didn't mind gym lessons, because it meant I could do the bare minimum, but the only thing I do at the gym is exercise my legs (track, bike) lmao. Omfg those exercising games can be fun, but not when the whole school is watching and waiting for you to embarrass yourself 💔

he knows exactly what gets everyone triggered, the dorito bod, the looking so fine in suits, and what’s next. he drives with one hand, does the reverse with one hand? 😀 OH UR LEGS MUST BE TONED AS HELL !!!!! tripped and hurt my knee during one of those <333 felt amazing bc i got to sit out dhsmhdjs

I wonder what's gonna happen in PD3, hope D*sn*t doesn't fuck it up completely

UR RIGHT I HOPE THE STORYLINE STAYS ON POINT AND DOESNT INCLUDE THOSE STUPID JOKES AND REFERENCES FROM SOCIAL MEDIA OR SOMETHING

I know a few people who would love to be pulled over by Wonho. Yes, he is! /// Uh I think BTS showed up in my dream recently, but only for a second, I was also crying lol

i didn’t when read the first part, tell me everything about the last part. ppt format.

That fucking nose on Hehetmon, Yunho why 😬 /// “See you later" just like "European dates will be announced soon" right 🤡

yumho surprises me everyday, i don’t even know how to say this but he’s a true man. a man. men.

Please

id literally die if he gets the mc job, everyday he’s gonna look all pretty and dress up all while im eating glass

Aaaaand we got Sanhwa patisserie!!! /// Hongjoong looks cute, but Seonghwa... between him looking like an adorable grandpa, SPREADING, big ass shoes and a tin of crisps I don't know where to look

seonghwa. FJAKJDKS ADORABLE GRANDPA LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 u think his grandkids would ask him to dance and its him doing bulnoriya while his knees crack but he’s so determined to show them his glory days and the fact that he’s still young. grandpa hwa <3

Me at Seonghwa Kino wife material, lol

male wife ☺️☺️

I got "full moon lighting up my lovers face"

😮😮 a hopeless romantic i see,,, i got sneaking downstairs to get more cake but it turned out to be a very wholesome au that I will write ONE DAY

“you're not even in your double digits, and your best friend who you have a secret crush on came over for your birthday party. it's after midnight, and you decide to sneak downstairs to eat more cake. you're both as silent as you could possibly be, careful not to wake anyone. you scoot a stool over to the counter and crawl up ungracefully, snatching two small pieces of cake and sitting on the floor to eat. you both whisper about what you'd gotten as gifts, and they tell you they have something else that they wanted to give you in private. when you get back to your room, they pull out a small box. you open it to see an action figure, one that looks like you. they tell you they were at toys r us the other day and noticed it was basically a little you, and begged their dad for it. he agreed, and they went home and wrapped it themselves, poorly but effectively.”

Bestie, Seonghwa's vlog, so far I saw arms and him flexing his Black Opium perfume.... - DV 💖

black opium. ysl. model seonghwa. just happens to be the one the yn and hwa endorse! just so happens! haha!

ok but this is so 😭😭😭 they should’ve let him go 😭😭😭 man missing a sibling’s wedding, damn, must be heartbreaking

🙂🙂

me when.

u know if boxer seonghwa was alive, this.

😭😭😭

[klitzofficial]

Period Cramps

Klitz X fem!reader

Warning: 18+, smut, swearing (I'll add more later)

A/N:

---------

"Klitz please, it's the only thing I haven't tried yet. It's either this or I go to the hospital." She whispered through tears.

Klitz grabbed the hot pink dildo off of her bed as a similar shade rushed to his face. He thought back to exactly how he'd gotten himself here.

They were supposed to meet in the library to finish their history reports together, but when she didn't arrive on time he got worried. Then when she didn't answer his first five calls, he began to full on panic.

He couldn't live with himself if something happened to her. She was his best friend, even if he wanted more. He was fine staying "just friends". He was just glad she was even talking to him.

He gathered his things and left the library, millions of different scenarios swimming through his brain, none of them good.

He tried to call her several more times on the drive to her house. She still didn't answer.

He stormed into her house, knowing that if she were home she'd have the place all to herself. He ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time and pushed her bedroom door open.

All his fear and worries fell away when he saw her in bed, covered up to her neck in blankets.

He crept up towards her and bent down, which is when he noticed she wasn't asleep. Not only that but she had been crying.

"Hey, hey what's going on, are you okay?"

She threw her blankets off to reveal that she she was completely nude.

"Klitz please, you know I love you, and I'd never want you to feel uncomfortable, but I am in so much pain. I'm experiencing the worst period cramps of my life, and I've tried every technique on the internet. I'd do it myself but I can't bend that way because it makes the cramps worse. Will you please do this for me?"

Her speech was fiendish and sounded rushed, and he could tell how much pain she was in. He fought the urge to stare at her body the entire time, choosing instead to analyse a particularly interesting corner of the room.

Because of the long amount of time it was taking for him to answer, she thought he'd say no.

"Listen I know it's weird. If you don't want to do it can you at least drive me to the hospital?"

"No."

"What?"

"I'll do it." He said looking up from the sex toy in his hands, "I just don't want this to break up our friendship."

She began to laugh, but stopped abruptly. Releasing a high pitched whine due to the sudden pain she felt.

Klitz knew that noise shouldn't have gotten him so excited.

"So...do I have to put a condom on this thing, or like...use lube?"

She snickered and motioned for him to go through her side table.

While he got ready, and took off his shoes and jacket, she tried to get herself comfortable, moving her blankets and pillows away to get enough room for unrestricted movement.

When he was finally ready, she opened her legs and grabbed her thighs. Klitz wouldn't look at her though.

"It's okay, you're allowed to look."

He tore his vision away from the wall and made eye contact with her. She rolled her eyes and grabbed one his hands and put it on her breast. She then took the dildo out of his hands and leaned forward to insert it into her pussy.

She was trying to avoid worsening her cramps, so she was moving robotically, but Klitz couldn't tear his eyes away now that he received permission. She took his other hand and wrapped it around the base of the dildo.

"See I did the hard part Klitzy. Now all you have to do is push it in. And pull it out. Okay?" She said that last part slowly. All he could do to reply was swallow and quickly nod his head.

He started to slowly pump the hot pink toy in and out, loving the way she quietly suppressed her little moans. She took the hand he lazily rested on top of her breast - likely too afraid to move it - and intertwined their fingers.

"Fuck baby just like that," she let slip out.

Her eyes were shut, and Klitz couldn't tear away his gaze. He was enthralled, the way her eyebrows knitted together, the way her lips moved when she was breathlessly encouraging him. He felt guilty about the tightness growing in his pants.

She then took her free hand and began to massage her clit.

After 30 seconds of this action, her back began to arch. She then opened her eyes and made eye contact again.

"Faster Klitzy, I'm about to come. You're doing such a good job baby."

He sped up his actions and watched as her body tensed up, and she took her hands and gripped the sheets. He tried to keep going but her legs snapped shut and she pushed his hands away.

He watched her come down from her high, panting and covered in sweat. He thought she was ethereal, and couldn't help himself when he brushed his hand along her cheek and connected his lips with her's.

Before she could realise what was happening, he pulled away from her and began to gather his things.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that. I just got caught up in the moment and I di-"

He didn't get to finish before she spun him around and pulled him down to meet her. This kiss was more forceful, yet passionate, since she was now in control.

She pulled away and pushed him aside.

"I need a shower. If you come in with me I can help you with your little problem right there." She said gesturing to his crotch.

He looked up and started stuttering but she had already made her way to the bathroom.

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

Geralt gets cursed to have a mini angel and devil on each of his shoulders that only he can see and one of them tries to convince him to make a move on Jaskier while the other thinks it would ruin things between them

oh now this... this is good shit, anon. yes! yesssss!

tw: Geralt has some anxiety

---

“To guilt and love I give a voice,

Don’t take too long to make your choice!”

And with that, the mage disappears in a cloud of dark, greenish smoke. Jaskier coughs, blinking back tears, his sleeve pulled down to cover his nose and mouth. “What the fuck was that about, do you think?”

Geralt shakes his head to clear it and stumbles back to his feet. “A curse, I think.”

“Well which one of us was it for?”

“Him!” Geralt hears Lambert’s voice from his left shoulder. He turns his head and finds a miniature version of his brother standing on his pauldron, grinning like mad. “Hello, big brother.”

“Hello!” chimes Eskel, who is sitting comfortably on his right shoulder. 

“Me,” Geralt groans. Jaskier raises an eyebrow. 

“I don’t see anything wrong with you. I wonder what she meant by to guilt and love I give a voice; what do you think, Geralt?”

“I have a sneaking suspicion that I won’t be getting much sleep tonight,” the Witcher grimaces. Jaskier shies away, moving toward Roach. 

“I’ll stay out of your way and be quiet, then.”

“Poor thing,” Eskel pipes up. “He cares for you so deeply; must you always snap at him like that?”

“He’s just along for the fame and fortune,” Lambert scoffs. “He’s using you for your reputation and adventures. He just wants to use you to make a name for himself.”

“Why would a Viscount need to make any more of a name for himself?” Eskel fights back, their bickering voices unusually soothing despite the topic of conversation, which is actually making Geralt’s skin crawl. He hates confronting his feelings for Jaskier. They’re annoyingly, overwhelmingly positive. “He could be taking a hot bath every night and sleeping on silk sheets, yet here he stands, silently waiting for our dumbass brother to get a move on.”

Geralt takes the prompt and stalks forward to swing himself up into Roach’s saddle. It hadn’t been a pleasant afternoon and he suspects that things aren’t going to get much better. Jaskier’s shoulders are slumped and his fingers toy nervously with the strap of his lute.

The Witcher mumbles, “You can hum, Jaskier. It’s... fine.”

“Oh,” the bard smiles up at him, blue eyes sparkling in the late afternoon light. “Thank you, Geralt. I’d like to try to work out this rather finicky new melody if you don’t mind.”

“Hmm.”

“You could... praise him?” Eskel offers. “You did so well just now, it was nearly a full compliment.”

“Psh, and reveal the secret he’s been hiding for damn near a decade? The bard would be crushed.”

Geralt bites the inside of his cheek to keep from screaming out loud. He’s frustrated already, and he suspects that until he confesses or swears to keep silent about his feelings forever, these two conjurations won’t be leaving any time soon.

---

“Kiss him,” Eskel urges, tugging a lock of Geralt’s hair. He’s established that Jaskier cannot see the tiny Wolf Witchers; the nature of the curse would be too obvious if he could. “He looks so lovely in the firelight, don’t you think? Actually I do know what you think. You think he looks lovely all the time, you just won’t admit it.”

“Why should he admit it? That would ruin a perfectly good friendship. Like you said, Eskel, Jaskier is a Viscount! He can’t stay on the Path with Geralt forever. Eventually he’ll need to return to Lettenhove to marry and settle down. He’s titled, and we can’t expect him to follow a monster around forever, much less fall in love with one.”

“He has never once thought of Geralt as a monster!”

Geralt wants to cry. He wants to rip out his hair and run, screaming with madness, into the dark embrace of the woods around them. Alas, the bard would be Wyvern-bait without him there for protection. 

And the curse would stay with him no matter how far he ran. 

He closes his eyes and kneels, but the quiet respite of meditation never comes. 

---

Geralt is fucking exhausted. His brothers never stop talking. Arguing. Debating. Pleading. 

He’s gone truly mad. Jaskier stirs in his sleep, four nights after the curse was cast, and Geralt flinches. His scent is otherworldly and the Witcher’s patience is thinner than tissue paper. Eskel has been very convincing as of late.

He smells like the damp earth after a summer rain, sweetened by something unnamable but floral. He smells like springtime. Youth. Beauty. Geralt whines unconsciously, the sound creeping out from somewhere high in his throat. Jaskier stirs again and blinks his sleepy eyes open. His cute pink tongue darts over his bottom lip and Geralt bites off the sound with a sudden gasp. 

“Sorry for waking you.”

“What’s wrong?” the deep concern in Jaskier’s sleep-soft voice stirs the love in Geralt’s heart violently. “You sound wounded. Are you alright?”

“I-” Geralt falters. Falls to his knees in the dirt next to Jaskier’s bedroll. Cups the bard’s face gently with one hand. Lambert begins to swear violently as Eskel cheers him, egging him on. “I love you, Jaskier.”

His brothers disappear. 

His ears ring with the sudden silence, the only ambiance coming from the crackling fire.

Jaskier balks up at him, a look of utter terror written plainly on his face. “Geralt? Is this... the curse? Why would you say that?”

“Do you- Are you angry with me, Jaskier? I understand if-”

“No, you fool,” Jaskier laughs, sitting up and leaning closer. “I- I love you, too. I didn’t think you’d ever- That you could ever- After Yennefer...”

Geralt kisses his bard with such sweetness that Jaskier melts against him, his hands braced against that familiar, broad chest. They kiss until sunrise, and then they kiss some more. There’s a lot of lost time to make up for, a lot of poor decisions to be rectified.

But they manage. They always do.

[inkyblinders]

Dancing with the Devil: Part II

Part 1

Pairing: Luca Changretta x Reader

Author’s note: This was so embarrassing to write not because of smut...but because I’m crushing hard on Adrien Brody right now. And I can’t even share this obsession with anyone because… he’s kinda niche? Someone please reassure me that I’m just going through a phase because dear God why can’t I stop watching Darjeeling Limited just to see him ahhh.

The story picks up right after the end of Part 1, so I recommend reading that first. Comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated, let me know what you think!

Summary: Following your meeting with Luca Changretta, you face the Shelby family and Tommy's reaction. (2.6k words)

Warnings: Smut, angst, swearing

Tag: Let me know if you would like to be added or removed

@anythingwriter, @rrtxcmt, @shut-chan

_____________________________________________________________

You barely make it into your bedroom before he is all over you. The buttons of his crisp, tailored shirt fall like marbles. He moans when you nip the skin of his neck, right over his tattoo of the black cross, legs tangled together like a depraved waltz.

When he grinds into you, you shudder deliciously at the hardness that meets between your bare thighs.

How easy would it be for him to kill you after he fucks you, leaving your corpse twisted in the bedsheets. You know Tommy would find it when he eventually remembers that he has not seen you for days.

“Signorita, you know I come to you with the most honorable of intentions.” He murmurs, as if sensing your thoughts.

“You're not a very honorable man then.” A laugh that turns into a gasp as he trails his hand lower and strokes between your legs. No, not very honorable at all. And pretty soon all thoughts of honor are forgotten as he coaxes a moan from your throat.

His fingers are magic. The cold outline of his onyx rings scald your skin each time he crooks a finger inside you. Knowing exactly what you need, seeking your depths, swirling, rising to rub the clit, all the while exploring the flushed expanse of your body with his other hand.

Shoulder to breasts to hips and back again.

Without meaning to, you’ve let this stranger take control of your entire being. But God, do you crave this pure ecstasy.

It’s as if he wants to know precisely how much you can take before you're undone. So when you clench around his hand and feel the familiar ache he is right there, helping you ride the wave of pleasure, never breaking the rhythm of his thrusting fingers even as you curse, rake your nails down his back.

You almost cry out his name when you come. But you bite into his shoulder instead.

“Sweetheart, I’m gonna have to hear you next time.” He growls.

His words barely register as you come down from the high. Aftershocks spark like tiny flames. Now you are wearing his scent as much as he is wearing yours.

“Be inside me,” You whimper, tugging at his soft hair, urging him for more.

He rasps an empty warning, “What's my name, sweetheart?”

Of course. All this time you've never acknowledged you know of his identity. There was no use in trying to hide it now.

“Luca,” you breathe. And his eyes gleam with approval.

With a snap of his hips, he plunges into silky warmth. The fullness stretches you to your limit, head thrown back. It’s good, so good. Every withdrawal of his thrust is a blessing because you know what follows next. It’s him inside you again, wrapping you with his touch and the scent of tobacco and roses.

“Does your Tommy fuck you like this? Like the way I do?”

“He’s not mine.” You choke out, punishing Luca with a bite on the neck that elicits a chuckle rather than a yelp of pain.

He kisses you, your foreheads pressed together. “A damn shame for him.” Soon he starts to quicken his pace, going faster, more erratic, his breathing heavy upon your ears.

Yes, you urge him, come on, now.

And this is your chance. In a flash you roll on top of him, pinning down his shoulders with your hands. He tries to arch up but you stop him with a knee.

“How many men did you bring, Changretta?” You ask, making your voice rough to mask the lust, pressing your hands around his jugular.

It's a pleasure to see him like this. Shocked at your actions, maybe even scared. Naked with want but unable to do anything to relieve it. Unless he tells the truth.

“Fifteen. Why baby, am I not enough for you?” He laughs breathlessly, hands trailing goosebumps along your hips, tracing the contour of your breasts. The jib doesn't hurt you. After all, men have said worse. He tries to surge into you again, and his hot member pulses on your thighs.

“Do you swear on your honor? That you’re telling the truth?” You insist, squeezing him harder. The touch brands his skin as much as it brands yours.

In a voice full of self-mockery he says, “Yes I swear on my honor. Now let me in, clever Isabel.”

You take him in you, the sensations amplify a thousandfold. You try teasing him, going slowly in and out, but soon you are caught up in the sensation of him completely at your mercy and you ride him, faster, until you keen his name, until he too is undone.

****

Through the haze of dawn, he stumbles out of bed and gets dressed. Before he dons his hat once more, Luca leans down to whisper in your ear, as soft as sin.

“You tell Tommy Shelby he may expect a visitor in the night. I'm coming for him as the angel of death. The vendetta has begun…” He kisses your hair.

“I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”

The door clicks shut. You rise from your pillow, and a small, hard lump rolls next to your hand.

It is a signet ring of onyx and gold.

****

“So we all get a death letter from the mafia, but Izzy gets jewelry?” Ada huffs as the family filters into the betting shop. As usual, Tommy holds court at the front of the table, brooding over a glass of whiskey. You roll your eyes as Arthur and John try to cover their snort of laughter with a cough.

“If you want it, you can have it, Ada. He’s probably planning on killing me too.”

“Doubt it. You’re not a Shelby, and we’re the ones who killed his father. Well, someone did, to be precise.” She shoots a bitter look at Tommy, who doesn’t even have the decency to look ashamed.

Despite Ada’s matter-of-fact tone, the words cut to your heart. Not a Shelby.

It’s not her fault. No one knows you’ve been sleeping with Tommy, not even your dearest friend. It’s a lonely secret to keep, but at least you can look at the family square in the eye and not have to worry about the things they say behind your back. Or worse, pity you.

You can handle the violence and moral ambiguity of Tommy’s business. But to lose the love and respect of the Shelbys would break your heart.

“What was the mafia man like, Izzy?” Finn asks eagerly. It’s obvious the boy is thinking of the dashing, gun-wielding gangsters he’s seen in the pictures.

“He was a wrinkly old brute. Kind of like your arsehole brother Tommy.” A smile to take the edge off the insult. But Tommy only looks off into space. As if he hasn't paid attention to this entire conversation.

Arthur clears his throat. “Now, let’s get one thing straight. It was me who pulled the trigger on his dad, so the blame falls on me.” He pats Linda’s hand even as his voice is heavy with guilt.

“No one’s blaming you Arthur, you weren’t the brains behind the operation, no offense.” Ada says. He is about to say something when Polly cuts in.

“Stop squabbling like children. We’ve all voted for truce, despite everything Tommy’s done to us—” The words nearly having us hanged hover pointedly in the air. “—So let’s focus on the matter at hand." She fixes Tommy with a sharp look.

“What’s the news from Camden Town? Will Solomons help us?”

“No.” He says tiredly. And all of a sudden you feel sorry for teasing him. He look gaunt. There are shadows under his eyes, even more so than usual. Without you to remind him to eat, you can imagine his diet for the past few days consisted more of alcohol and cigarettes than anything substantial.

“Spent three hours on a fucking tour of his bakery and another pretending to drink his piss-poor rum. I think he was trying to get me sloshed so I’d forget what I came for.” Tommy rubs his head.

“He’s refusing to send his men to help. Said he’s not going to go after another oppressed people.”

“Did you tell him the Italians are rounding up Jews in their country as we speak?” Polly asks incredulously.

“Wouldn’t make a difference to Alfie. Besides, that’s just an excuse. He’s really just a fucking coward.”

Polly looks troubled at this, as does the rest of the family. Everyone had been counting on Alfie’s friendship with Tommy, however peculiar, to help them with the vendetta. What they hadn’t expected was his extreme sense of self-perseverance. How are they going to protect themselves now?

“Before everyone panics, I’d like to say something.” Tommy clears his throat, setting down the whisky.

“As you may all know, two nights ago our Izzy encountered Mr. Changretta in the Garrison. He bought her a drink and asked her to deliver an official beginning of the vendetta.” He chooses this time to finally look at you. You hold his gaze until he looks shiftily away.

“We can also assume that he has been scoping out Small Heath, looking for any weaknesses on our turf. Now, Izzy has something to share with you all.”

You stand up uncertainly. The last time a woman other than Polly tried to speak her mind at the table it had been Esme, who still refuses to come to the betting shop unless Tommy is not here.

“While Mr. Changretta was, er, indisposed at the Garrison, I found some items in his coat that I think could be useful.” You fish out a passport and a stack of papers from your skirt pockets.

“Good job, Izzy! Oh, I knew we could count on you more than my idiot brother.” Ada beams.

“Becoming a right little spy, eh?” John ruffles your hair good-naturedly. As everyone gathers around, Polly gives a low whistle.

“Goodness, if this is your definition of an ugly brute, I wonder who’ll really catch your fancy, darling.”

You flush. The documents were obtained shortly after Luca had fallen asleep. It was an exercise in agility, trying to extricate yourself from his tangle of limbs, especially when you wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, encased in his warmth.

To your own credit, the papers were highly useful indeed. Some were maps of Birmingham, circles drawn in places where the Shelbys are known to frequent. The Garrison. Charlie’s Yard. The Arrow House. There was also stationary from The Stanton, a hotel just outside of the city.

There had been another piece of paper in the stack, a letter. But you kept that for yourself.

“We all have Izzy to thank for bringing us this valuable information.” Tommy’s voice rises above the chatter. “I will be personally examining all the documents and think of a plan. In the meantime, everyone stay alert, stay armed, and stay together.”

“Now if no one has any further questions, I need to have a private word with her. Alone.”

*****

You twirl the onyx ring around your finger as everyone filters out. It’s much too big but you still wear it anyways. The thick band of gold is comforting in its own way. And despite what you told Ada earlier, you don’t want to give it to anyone else.

Tommy’s curt voice snaps you from your reverie.

“Was it good, then?”

A small muscle tics on the underside of his jaw. His previously blank expression is now cold. The coward in you compels you to feign ignorance.

“What do you mean, Tommy?” You ask lightly.

“Did it feel good to have that fucking wop inside you?”

You burst out laughing. “Christ, Tommy. Did you pick up that word from Alfie? You sound bloody ridiculous when you’re trying to be crass, you know.”

“Don’t fucking change the subject, Isabel.” Tommy snaps.

“Oh, so I’m Isabel, now? You only call me that when you’re trying to get me in bed. Is that what you want? A bit early in the evening if you ask me.”

“What I want for you is to tell me how it felt having that man inside you, inside---”

You blaze with anger. “My sex life is none of your business, even if you are an occasional participant. I did what you would have wanted, and now I’ve got intel on the Changrettas that could save your arse!”

“Do you know how dangerous it could have been? Fraternizing with the enemy is exactly what got us into trouble with the Changrettas!”

“And fraternizing with them again has given us an advantage. We know how many associates he’s brought with him, and where they are staying. Good God,” Your eyes widen as you see the mutinous look on Tommy’s face. “Are you jealous?”

The silence of the room presses in until it's almost palpable. Finally he rubs a hand over his eyes, looking utterly defeated.

“I have no right to.” He says, pained. “But I am, just the same.”

The admission of his feelings would have made your heart soar a few days ago, before you met a man who enchanted you in the Garrison. You only laugh bitterly.

“What makes this different from all those other times you made me seduce the men you wanted to spy on?”

He says nothing. But what else is there to say? The past is in the past, and so many hurts have been caused by the both of you, it would be impossible to untangle it all.

You soften your voice, laying a hand on Tommy's arm.

“Let me continue seeing him. He wants me, and we can use that. You know it will be help, you know it might save us all.”

A breath flutters in your chest as you wait for his decision. If Tommy allows it, you’ll do it in a heartbeat. The Shelbys are your family, whether you're one in name or not.

But if he refuses, then perhaps… Perhaps he might actually care for you, deeper than jealousy, deeper than he admits.

“Very well.” Tommy says finally, and something in your heart shatters. The corners of your mouth curve up in a wobbly smile.

“Thank you for trusting me, Tommy. I won’t let you down.”

“You would never let me down, no matter what you do. Just…Be careful, Izzy.”

He closes the distance between you and enfolds you in a hug. You enjoy this quiet warmth, as fragile as spider's silk. With a small laugh, you pull away, patting his arm before turning to the door.

You don't look back to see if he follows.

[rein4r1]

In The 10 Years I kept Loving You

Wc: 1.3k

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warning/s: Drug abuse, Infidelity, Potential Death, Not Proofread

Pairing/s: [MODERN AU] Eren x GN!Reader, Reiner x GN!Reader

The only promise Eren kept is loving you until the last sun dies.

“You look-“ Beautiful

Heavenly in your white wedding gown. Glamorous in the jewels that adorned every piece of you. And just, Beautiful in the way you elegantly sat on the chair, waiting for the clock to struck 10.

“I just know he’ll cry when he sees you! So stunning!” Sasha exclaims, completely in awe of you. You continue to converse until you hear a knock on the door.

“It’s time.”

Today is the day you the knot to your soon to be husband. Truly, it is an auspicious and joyful day, but you cannot help but think that of 10 years ago.

———

The beginning of your relationship was pretty normal, you met Eren at one of your classes, got partnered up in a group project, and became friends. Friendship turned into attraction, which blossomed into him taking you out. And like a speed of light, you began a relationship with him. The attraction was quick, but what you felt was way beyond reason. Because you cannot explain love, you just feel it.

Everyday felt like you were in your honeymoon phase, Eren wouldn’t fail to show you how much he loves you. He adored you, so much that you were his oxygen, the breathe of life that turned even the grayest of lands green.

And how he loves you with you naked beside him, after a night of dancing in romantic bliss, under the starry sky that shall bear witness for his love for you, and you for him. How he loves to nimbly trail his fingers on your lithe skin. His goddess of beauty, making sure he drinks so much of your love, he’d never go empty.

I want to marry you, my love. I want to spend the rest of my life in your arms. Cared and nurtured. Eren kisses your shoulder softly, as if scared to steal you from your peaceful dream.

I hope you dream of me.

———

You love Eren, oh so dearly. That even the small infuriating things about him makes you love him even more.

“I swear to God babe, I TOLD YOU TO WIPE THE TOILET SEAT!”

“My bad babe my bad.” As he throws a wink at you with his half-hearted apology.

And whenever he calls you in the middle of the night, drunk of his ass and hearing Connie laugh at the background

“Babe I love you so mu- JEAN SHUT THE FUCK UP!- Babe please listen to me.”

“I am listening Eren”

“I want to fuck you right now.”

Yup, you love him.

———

You’re currently stargazing with Eren, your head on his chest and his hands under your shirt, tracing small circle on your back. The whole situation making your heart thud for joy.

“You see all those start babe?”

“Mhm?”

“That’s how much I love you”

“… You love me far?” And whenever you pout? Eren just has this urge to kiss you.

“No baby, I love you a lot. I’ll love you until the last star dies.”

———

But when did it all go wrong? Why do every kiss feels like he’s anxious? Why does every embrace feel like insecurity? And just like how your relationship start, it’s quickly wilting away.

You saw him less, your dates gets rescheduled, and he- it’s like he can’t be bothered anymore. And you felt it, fear.

You thought that he’d love you until the last star dies, and you look up to sky at night, and saw emptiness.

“Pieck I’m scared, I really am!” Your currently on the phone with your best friend, with endless tears caused by dread.

“I don’t want him to leave me! I just- I can’t imagine a life- a world without my Eren”

“And why is tha-“

“That’s because I love him! He is the sun that basks me in fervor, everyday. He is my sun, and I love him. I can’t live without him Pieck.” She cares for you, but how could Pieck say that there are relationships that are meant to die out, no matter oh much promises you made. Stars are meant to die.

———

Eren loves you, he truly does! And he’s sorry for doing this to you.

Eren loves you, Eren loves you so much that he began to doubt his own feelings for you. He didn’t know when it started. But one day he woke up with voices in his head he cannot even understand. But maybe it’s the drugs he’s been secretly taken from your back. The substance fucking up his brain, he can’t even remember his own name.

He began to lose himself, and slowly, you. He drifted himself away from you, and traded his dates for pot sessions with his frat buddies, the same disrespectful frat boys who introduced him to women despite him being in a relationship. Because according to them gods shouldn’t was their times for one pussy.

Together with drugs and alcohol, he lost control on his body. That’s why, the same night you’ve been balling you heart out to Pieck, is the same night, he had someone else sobbing for his name, beneath him.

That’s when he stopped becoming your Eren.

———

When you learned what he’s done, you felt numb, hearing nothing but the static nose that made your head explode. And here you were wandering aimless somewhere in the city.

I thought he loves me

I wasn’t enough?

Am I not enough?

AM I NOT EN-

“MISS PLEASE!” You felt an arm roughly but securely tug you from your senses.

“Are you okay? You almost got hit by a-“ You turned at the man, tall blonde and buff man, if only you could see how handsome he is if not for-

“AM I NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?” and you broke down, in front a stranger. He stood there awkwardly, as he saw people staring at you, whispering. He knows he can’t leave you like this, so all he could do is offer you is comfort. So, he embraced you, and you cried in his arms.

When you pulled away, much calmer than before, you thanked him.

That whole night was weird for Reiner. He was having an argument with his mom, so he decided to have a jog to calm down his nerves. The next time he saw you was at university. That’s why you felt familiar, you study at the same uni!

You were sitting down at some bench, ignoring someone. You knew you had to go to school, after all, your future is better than any boy the world could offer. You felt a presence beside you. It’s that man from that day.

The both of you only sat there in silence, but it doesn’t feel suffocating. If anything, it’s warm. Who would’ve thought that you’d fall in love once again. But this time, it’s slow and careful. As if to not shock the water with sudden waves. It’s slow, but it’s sure.

———

He fucked up; he clearly did. Eren knows he loves you; he does love you! So why did he traded something temporary with something that’ll give him a lifetime supply of happiness. It’s because he doubted his love for you. Doubting you for a second, compromised years of the lost half of his heart. And in the ten years he’s loving you, not stopping from loving you, nothing hurts more than seeing you love someone else.

He knows it’s his fault. That being swayed away from superficial things, means that he gets to see you walk down the aisle with another man, someone who’s more deserving than him.

You get to offer your whole life with someone else. While he’s stuck, ten years and more, for loving you. And he has nothing to blame but his self.

[jiminrings]

LINCHBOX LOVERS FIRST KISS IM BEGGING

cold senior!y/n x stem major koo masterlist :D

jungkook’s never really had his first kiss and he might faint in nervousness

there’s something really important that jungkook’s nEVER said to you

he kinda thinks it’s a life or death scenario <3

the two of you are together now after all!! you know things about each other, that’s just how it is

you know that his oddly specific fear is having a spider crawl on him while he’s asleep and that he can’t read sheet music or a single note for the life of him!!! lol that’s why he’s in stem

jungkook knows that you like cracking your knuckles on your hand using the same hand, and that you’re actually SCARED if you even try to crack them with your opposite hand

one time jin caught you off-guard and cracked your knuckles all at the same time and you hate that too so you ended up crying to yoongi

the two of you will eventually know almost everything about each other in due time!!

but jungkook really really wants you to know right now

right now IS due time

yoongi’s out to pick up jin because he’s in another state that’s seven hours away!! it’s wholesome friendship but more or less begging with the promise of kim “mr. student affairs” seokjin

“i will coerce your physics teacher bc i’m buddies with him to give you an A+ this semester if you pick me up rn :-)”

.... hehe.......... along those lines.,.....,..,..

you tagged out when yoongi asked you to come with him because you wanted to spend some time with jungkook, and then yoongs flat-out pretended not to hear what you just said and then left

once again, tae does nOT know if he’s helping but!!! he tagged along with yoongi :D

atleast everyone now knows that yoongi’s safe because he definitely will not be sleepy with all of tae’s chattering

this is the first time you’ve invited jungkook over with absolutely no one else in the dorm

no seokjin who’s hovering and keeps teasing for the two of you to sit two rulers apart

no yoongi who insists on keeping all the lights turned on so there would be no funny business

in fact, there’s no funny business that’s happening

and that’s what jungkook wants to talk about!! that’s where he’s getting at!!

he knows you’re just respecting his space and his decisions!! that’s how considerate you are

even if jungkook hasn’t explicitly said anything about his experiences and lack thereof, jimin once told him that everything about him screams ahhckkk vIRGINNNNN!!!!!! so that’s perfectly embedded into his mind

after some thinking though, kook finally had the handle on himself to know that he’s ready — one first time at a time :-)

it’s the whole reason why jungkook didn’t think twice of coming over when you asked him to

and he’s using this time now to tell you what he hadn’t before

right now when the two of you are watching a movie and his head’s resting on the crook of your shoulder with your hand on his knee, to tell you that —

“i haven’t had my first kiss.”

jungkook blurts out and it’s not only him that’s a little taken-aback with the suddenness, feeling your head tilt to come look at him

“really?” your nose scrunches but there’s no judgement to your eyes to which jungkook is extremely thankful for, being extra observant of your reaction

he nods almost eagerly now that the weight’s gone from his chest, making you smile slightly

“that’s okay.”

you only hum in reply and guide jungkook’s head back to your shoulder, resuming on watching the movie with no worries in mind

there’s no worries but there are definitely a LOT of thoughts in ur mind,,,,

you’ve kinda expected it from the start but there’s nothing wrong about it!!!

the other entire reason you knew that jungkook’s never done anything was because jimin kept squawking ahckkckk VIRGINNNNNN!!!!

you can’t forget that time when jimin also needed to interview an athlete for his paper and he needed you specifically

the two of you were talking and jungkook’s approaching you with a skip in his step and your lunchbox and jimin just wanted to fuck with him a lil so he squawked it out loud

...... jungkook really insisted that it wasn’t true but he kNEW no one was buying it so that’s when he started plotting his revenge on jimin ://

just when he’s gonna get a little too deep into his thoughts on why you’re so nonchalant, you’re the one who catches him off-guard this time

“do you want to kiss me?”

he goes rigid and sits upright completely, head eagerly nodding

“o-of course.”

:-)

“oh. okay.”

..... what

........ he’s lost

jungkook’s a little confused because that’s it??? no additional remark?????

you’re just sitting on the couch like you have been for the past hour and that’s it!!! you’re back to watching your movie AS IF you haven’t asked him if he wants to kiss you!!!

what now

your eyes are just glued on the screen and he’s starting to think that love & other drugs is more interesting than him

jungkook visibly scowls and you can see him from your peripheral vision, resisting the urge to chuckle at his displeased face

“this is the part where you’re supposed to kiss me.”

his deadpanning is what breaks you, making your eyes tear away from the screen that’s rapidly losing your attention at this point

jungkook smiles meekly at your giggle, seeing you tilt your head to playfully taunt him

“oh so i’m kissing you? you’re not kissing me?”

hee-hee

“that’s my plan,” he says surely, putting his hand on top of yours before scooching much closer to you than he did before

“mhmm. sure.”

jungkook smiles in victory when you agree, drumming his fingers on your knee in anticipation

..... nothing’s happening

........ THERE YOU ARE AGAIN

your eyes are back on the tv but it’s obvious that you aren’t focused on the movie that’s playing, a playful glint more than evident

jungkook’s not annoyed but he’s definitely on his toes, jostling you by your arms to get your attention

“just kiss me! are you gonna make me beg at this point??” he frowns in waiting, quickly getting antsy with all your harmless teasing

“can you beg, jungkook?”

you ask dryly with the same playful air in your tone, the sudden return of the question to his court making him double-take

his eyes have considerably widened with what you just playfully and harmlessly asked him, cheeks pink with the teasing

“you’re so impatient. i was gonna kiss you anyway, y’know?”

jungkook shies away from your trained gaze on him but meets it intensely when he feels a weight on his lap

you’ve transferred seats from the couch to his lap, your bum placed on his thighs instead of his crotch so you would be able to give him some leeway with all of this being his first

if jungkook was flustered before then he’s probably burning now, eyes only focused on you that’s meant for him

he’s not quite sure what to do with his hands so he follows his split-second decision of putting them on your thighs since the rest of your legs are placed behind his back, seeing to it that he was already slouching on the couch in the first place

you smile in appreciation when he does, his once-awkward hands in your thighs now becoming natural with the reassurance

jungkook looks so gentle

he’s so delicate even when you’re all clothed in pajamas and you’re the one who’s sitting on his lap, so careful to the point that he doesn’t want to move to preserve the moment

you tangle your hand on his hair to card through it more smoothly, making him tense as he takes it as signal

“i-i close my eyes, right?”

he asks nervously to which you nod to understandingly, carding through his hair more to get him to relax a little bit

wait actually the mental image of jungkook being O_O when you kiss him almost makes you cackle out loud which is why you hide your face on his neck

oblivious to you trying to contain your laughter, jungkook’s gotten even mORE tense because your face is buried on his neck

-_-

^ that instead of of o_O !!! yeah much better

IT’S OKAY IT’S OKAY YOU’RE NOT LAUGHING NOW!!!

jungkook’s waiting for you to make the first move and he looks both flushed and pale at the same time, feeling apologetic for having made him that way

“let me kiss you first. you’ll have a feel for it once i do, okay?” you speak as soothingly as possible, making him nod in understanding so you’d know

“relax, baby. you just complement me,” your hands rub up and down his arms that are exposed since he’s wearing a shirt instead of a hoodie this time, trying to get him loose

“y-you’re really perfect and i love you.”

jungkook trips over his words but he means them nonetheless, mouth contorting both in confusion and amusement when you grin at him

god, jungkook’s so endearing :(((

“i meant complement the way i kiss and not compliment me, kook,” you chuckle and he sheepishly reddens at his misunderstanding, his mind being taken away from it when you kiss his cheek. “but that’s okay. i love you too.”

“it’s just me. relax.”

you scratch that special spot behind his ear that gets him to calm down and all pliable, having noticed it first when you hugged him for the first time and buried your head on his neck, rendering him mush in your arms right away

jungkook’s relaxed enough that he doesn’t feel like fainting when your face is this close to his, going a little cross-eyed with how lovestruck he is for you

and then you lean in.

jungkook almost pANICS but the way you hold him gets him to be soft instantly, the unnecessary worry in his mind melting away immediately

he practically croons in satisfaction when the taste of you hits his tongue and engulfs him fully, eyelids closing in pure ease with the delight he feels

you taste so sweet and perfect that jungkook finds himself chasing after your kiss, unconscious to the fact he’s really kissing you now

his head angles when you tilt yours and the taste of your lips hits him harder this time that he grunts before he moans inaudibly, melting even deeper when you tug his hair softly

jungkook’s looking for more that he scowlS (!!) when you pull away with an amused look on your face,

“you’re supposed to breathe, jungkook.”

“you’re kissing me and i don’t know how to breathe!!!! i literally don’t know if i can!!!”

he’s only noticing nOW that he wasn’t breathing before because of the way his chest rises and falls heavily, cheeks all hot and his neck flushing

“don’t they teach breathing and shit in stem?” you ask playfully that earns you a soft yet amused glare, a pout being sent your way. “try breathing, baby.”

you lean once more and this time it’s easier, taking it slow to get jungkook used to kissing AND breathing simultaneously

he’s easily overwhelmed with the taste of your lips and not to mention the fact that you’re seated on his lap!!!!!

the rhythmic caresses of your thumb on his cheek guides him to breathe, the fact that jungkook’s a quick learner now dawning on you

“good job, baby.”

jungkook’s grinning at the praise you give him, feeling as if those words aren’t the last that you’re gonna tell him

“now try kissing me.”

...

..... oh god there it is

jungkook looks nervous and calculating even, the overwhelment present in his gaze and he’s looking at your neck instead of your face

you’re just about to tell him it’s okay and climb off his lap when jungkook takes you off-guard and tugs you down, lips meeting yours wholly in eagerness that you lowly moan before you even know it

you’re tugging softly on his hair and it spurs him on to try and taste you even deeper, pulling on the front of your shirt to get you closer

this time, you feel like yOU’RE not breathing rip

“your lips are getting puffy.”

you point out to jungkook who has some sweat sticking to his forehead even if your dorm’s fully airconditioned

a frown goes in place of the same red and puffy lips that you’ve just pointed out, the sheer eagerness of jungkook shooting straight both to your ego and your heart

“they’re not puffy enough.”

jungkook looks blissfully fucked out and you’ve only kissed him now.

tonight’s only for his first time kissing and jungkook deems it insufficient that he’s only had the heart to kiss you tonight, soft and slow kisses on your jaw that render you surprised, kissing you by the line until you look at him fully

“kiss me more.”

.

.

.

.

it’s their first miscellaneous drabble!! as always, lmk what you think :D what do you want to see from the lunchbox lovers next? send them here <3

[struggling-with-time]

Rainy days [Corpse x reader]

Paring: Corpse husband x Female!reader

Summary: “corpse x fem!reader ( she’s also a youtuber ) where they are just friends for a few years, but reader has been developing feelings for a while now. with corpse’s fan base growing so quickly, there’s also a lot of growing attention from other girls ( fans & other social media influencers ). corpse is happy with all the attention, while it is breaking the reader’s heart more every day. basically, super angsty lol and it’s totally up to you how you want to end it!” requested by anon

“please make one where like the reader and corpse fought so its like raining outside and yk the cliche type” requested by anon

Warnings: Angst and jealousy, kinda sad, I’m sorry

Words: 1.8k

A/N: Open for requests. Two requests for one.

Read part 2 cloudy afternoons here

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

You’re happy for Corpse, of course you are. What good friend wouldn’t be happy for their friend when they suddenly start to shoot for the stars? You definitely would. Right? It’s not like it hurts to watch him take in all these girls that throw themselves at him, he has never been happier for the many years you’ve known him. His YouTube channel is finally paying the bills for him, and you’re happy he doesn’t have to fear getting an eviction note, for dancing on the line a little too long. You’re happy that he has all these new friends. You’re happy he’s enjoying himself. You’re happy, because he’s happy.  So why does it hurt so much?

You’ve had feelings for your best friend for quite some time. You tried to push them away, which in return just seemed to cultivate them and make them stronger. You tried your damn best just to be his quirky happy best friend that was along with him for the ride. You never minded being the one to pick up the pieces when he fell apart. He would do the same for you… He would do the same for you, right?

You wipe away a tear escaping from your eye. You’re sitting in the shower crying on the floor. This is really what you’ve become? You think to yourself, as you lean your head back against the wall, looking up at the wooden ceiling.

He would do the same for you…

You dryly laugh to yourself, of course he wouldn’t, because then he would have known when you started pulling away. You wipe the tears away, get up and rise off your face once more, before stepping out. You look at where your mirror used to be. You took it down, not able to face yourself was easier than to accept this is just how you look permanently now. Dark circles underneath your eyes, as they’ve sunken quite a bit.

You kind of forgot how you really looked sometimes, until you caught yourself in something reflective, like your pc when it ran out of power, or your metallic glazed mug. You smile bitterly at the memory, Corpse had bought it to you when you reached 100.000 subs on YouTube, saying the play button wasn’t enough. It used to be a prized possession, now it was one of your worst.

You’re happy you build your YouTube brand on variety gaming, without a face cam. You couldn’t imagine having to explain away the way you looked. The monotone in your voice was hard enough.

I was just having an off day

Sorry, kind of sick today

My microphone isn’t picking up my voice probably.

You sigh to yourself as you collect your phone, and your empty bag. The fridge doesn’t fill itself. You’re pretty sure your fans caught onto something being wrong by the 4th excuse. You lock the door behind you, and glace up at the sky. It seems to be getting darker. You sigh as you realize you’re not going to be back home before it’s raining.

You walk the short distance down to the bus as you wait for it to arrive, you scroll through your twitter feed. It’s filled with pretty girls, much prettier than you are, throwing themselves at Corpse. You get a sudden urge to throw your phone into the passing traffic, but money has been tight lately with your down tuning of content, to take more time to be able to self-pity in the living room with a shitty romance show going on.

You really lost your best friend to your own feelings, huh. What an anticlimax.

You step onto the bus, not noticing the black dressed, black masked guy in the end of it. Watching you intentionally. If you had been able to read minds, you would hear the ongoing battle in his head on whether or not to approach you.

The bus pulls up the grocery store and you get off. Not sparing the other two passengers getting off a second thought. You pull your jacket closer together, as the wind starts getting colder. You finally arrive in the store, just a few seconds before the rain starts to drop.

The calming ominous music of the store fills your eyes, as you focus on getting something edible that isn’t directly just sugar with more sugar. You pick your groceries carefully, nothing that needs a lot of preparation. But if you eat one more tv meal, you’re going to throw it up. You’re too distracted by what pasta to choose, that you don’t realise the guy in black has now passed you for the 5th time, while you’re in aisle 9.

You choose both and head for the register. You sigh as you watch the long line, there’s only one way out, and you’re certainly not leaving your groceries now. You step in line. And pull out your phone. The lock screen taunting you with a picture of you and Corpse mushed together somehow in his gaming chair, you’re pretty sure it was Dave that took the photo. You shake your head and check the time. The bus just left. You sigh knowing there is a little over an hour before the next one leaves. Fucking public transport.

It finally becomes you, you watch the price tick up further and further. You take your card out. Swipes it through.

Declined.

What? You try it again

Declined.

C’mon, it has got to work. You try again

Declined.

And again

Declined.

And again

Declined.

You smile apologetic to the cashier, as you start to figure out what you won’t be needing too much.

“I’ll pay for her.”  A deep voice speaks further down the line. You know exactly the person whose voice that is.

“Please, you don’t have to-“ You watch as Corpse steps out of the line and puts a box of cereal on the register for the cashier to ring up with the rest of your stuff.

“I don’t-“

“That’ll be 79 dollars and 32 cents, please.” The cashier ignores you.

Corpse pays and gets the receipt, knowing you’re going to beg him for you to pay him back. You used to do the same when you were little. Corpse stands by as he watches you pack your groceries, and he waits for you. He barely recognized you in the bus. It’s been weeks since you last spoke, and even longer since you last saw each other. He knows you were getting bad, but not this bad. He don’t know why he never reached out he knows he should. But there are too many unsaid things hanging in the air, and neither of you wanting to be the one to pick the first one.

He reaches out to take one of the two bags. But you take it right underneath him, and walk to the doors, leaving him to hurry after or be left behind.

“Y/N I-“

He gets surprised by the rain, he hadn’t noticed the darkening sky earlier. You keep walking until he calls out after you again.

“Y/N! Please!”

You stop in you tracks. To think you had missed hearing your name from his lips, he uses it like it’s not the only thing you have left that’s your own.

He jogs the remaining distance and puts his hand on your shoulder, and you let him turn you around to make him face you. He’s not sure if it’s the rain, or if it’s tears that’s starting to fall. He takes the rest of your face in, the dark circles, the clear weight loss. He know, you don’t know how much you don’t look like yourself.

“Listen, thank you, I’ll pay you back next month. But if you’re not going to say anything, I have places to be, and-“

He puts his hand on her chin caressing it. She suddenly looks so small standing there in front of him. You quickly pull yourself back, wanting to lean into his touch, but knowing that it would only make what hurts, hurt more in the end.

“What did you want?” You snap at him. And something snaps in him too, as his brows furrows together.

“Oh I don’t know. Say hi to my best who just up and disappeared from the face of earth two months ago. I wonder what I want.” He snaps back at you, his deep voice nearly emitting a growl of frustration from him.

“So what, that’s what it takes 2 months before you want to find me. Did you get tired of all those girls throwing themselves at you? Did you get tired of your new friends you just cast me aside from? Did you get tired of all the money? Please do tell.” You stretch out your arms in a welcoming stance.

Corpse takes a step back, you’ve never yelled at him like this before. Tears streaming down your face as you’re soothing anger.

“…You think I threw you aside?” Corpse sucks in a breath waiting for your anger to come at him, but instead you suddenly look small again.

“Didn’t you Corpse? The excuse why I could never come over anymore, why you never had time. I was happy for you, you know, I supported you all the way. Heck I even fucking loved you, and you cast me aside, you up and threw away so many memories and a long friendship, just because I suddenly didn’t fit into your new group.” You look him straight in the eyes. “Corpse, I’m tired okay. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t keep picking up your pieces and help you reassemble yourself, for you to keep casting me aside. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t need your pity; I don’t need anything from you. I’ll make sure you get the money first thing next month.”

She takes a step away from him, the before intimate atmosphere now fully escaped.

“All I ask is that we part here. I love you too much to watch you fall apart again.” Your voice is trembling as you turn around heading for the bus stop, leaving Corpse in the rain to fend for himself.

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

Bucky Barnes x Reader One shot

“Are you sure you are ready to do this?” you asked Bucky barely able to contain your laughter.

  “Very ready,” He replied with a grin looking you up and down in the costume you had on and licking his lips making you blush under his gaze. The two of you had been peas in a pod since the moment he had arrived at the compound. Picking on Steve being your favorite thing to do together. The two of you had been working on your plan for his birthday for weeks. You could always count on Tony turn a small gathering of friends into a full blown party.

 You peeked around the corner into the room where everyone was gathered and queued F.R.I.D.A.Y. to really get the party started.

 “Captain Rogers, Ms. Y/N and Sargent Barnes have prepared a special birthday surprise for you.” She announced and Steve groaned when he heard the song. You rushed out and took your spot. The red and white skirt swishing against your thighs. You gave Steve a wink before you started singing…

Who's strong and brave, here to save the American Way?

Everyone erupted into laughter as Bucky came out wearing a replica of Steve’s old costume and holding his shield.

 “Not all of us can storm a beach or drive a tank, but there's still a way all of us can fight” Bucky started copying Steve from all those terrible Captain America propaganda films. The two of you smiling and enjoying every minute of this.

Who vows to fight like a man for what's right night and day? 

You continued, the two of you moving perfectly around each other having practiced the routine more than a few times, always ending in both of you almost crying from laughing so hard. It had warmed your heart seeing Bucky so carefree and laughing. He had a devastating smile and you knew exactly why he had been such a ladies man in the forties.

“Series-E defense bonds; each one you buy is a bullet in the barrel of your best guy's gun.”

Who will campaign door-to-door for America? Carry the flag shore to shore for America From Hoboken to Spokane The Star Spangled Man with a Plan!

“We all know this is about trying to win the war, but we can't do that without bullets and bandages, tanks and tents. That's where you come in, every bond you buy will help protect someone you love, keep our boys armed and ready and the Germans will think twice about trying to get the drop on us.”

“I’m gonna get the drop on you,” Steve yelled making his way to the two of you, you squealed with laughter before starting to run away from the approaching super soldier. The whole room was a roar of laughter.

“Do you not like your gift Captain?” you asked laughing the whole way, Bucky in tow as you made your way through the crowd. Bucky tossed the shield towards Steve causing enough distraction for the two of you to get away, finally stopping when you hit the night air outside of the compound. The two of you laughing and trying to catch your breath. “Oh that was priceless, I hope Stark got that all on camera.”

 “Knowing Tony, its already on the internet.” Bucky chuckled sweeping you up into hug and spinning you around. “That brain of yours better start working on a new way to torture him.” 

“Only if you help me pull it off,” You said smiling up at him as he put you down. 

“Always,” he said smiling. The lines around his eyes crinkling. “You coming back inside?” he asked hearing thunder in the distance. A storm was moving in. 

“No I think I’m going to stay out here for a minute.” You said waling further away from the compound, into the night air, watching the storm clouds roll in. 

“Don’t come crying to me if you get caught in the rain.” He said watching you, crossing his arms. 

“What? Scared of a little water? Afraid that arm of yours will rust up Tinman?” you teased him just as the skies opened up and started to down pour. You tilted your head back and felt the drops hit your face, stretching your arms out and dancing in the rain. Bucky watched you closely, and you met his eyes, a smile on your face. You couldn’t help but smile when he was around, big make your cheeks hurt smiles, but seeing the look on his face made your breath catch in your throat and your heart pound, it stopped you instantly. “You just going to stare at me?” you asked raising a brow at him, baiting him. 

“What can I say, I like the view.” He looked so calm and casual leaning against one the beams that held up the large glass portico. 

“It’s even better out here,” you called to him, walking even further into the open field, spinning around, arms thrown wide. You forgot how fast Bucky was because before you could register what was happening you were in his arms again. You couldn’t help but admit it was your favorite place to be. You put your arms around his neck as he cradled you in his arms, the weight of you nothing to him and his super solider strength. 

“You’re right, the view is much better out here.” He said his eyes going to your lips before meeting your gaze. Of course, you had mused to yourself more than once, what it would be like to kiss him, to have him come to your bed at night, but you never wanted to ruin the friendship, never let it go further than a little light teasing, but now, in his arms, feeling his breath on your neck, your heart felt like it would leap from your chest. Another boom of thunder made you jump, the nervousness getting to you. You let go of him and put yourself back on the ground. 

“We should probably go back in, before it gets too bad out here,” you said, wanting the tension of the moment to break. Bucky just looked at you confused. You tried looking anywhere but his face. 

“If that’s what you want,” he said in a quite voice, his hand trail down your arm, causing you to shudder, his eyes still studying your lips. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” you said feeling extremely self-conscious all the sudden. 

“Like what?” he said stepping closer to you, but you took a step back, pulling your arm from his grasp and wrapping them around yourself. 

“Like you are going to devour me.” You said annoyed with his teasing. He had never teased you like this before and you didn’t like it, didn’t like feeling as if he was…mocking you somehow. 

“Maybe I do,” he took another step closing that distance again, the rain continuing to pour on you both. 

“Don’t” you breathed.

“Don’t what Y/N?” you looked up at him, those blue eyes watching you so intently, shining with more than teasing, but with want, desire. “Tell me you don’t feel it too.” 

“You want me to lie and say I have never thought about it, thought about us, of course I have, but what if I fuck it all up and ruin what we have now. You’re my best friend Barnes, I can’t, I won’t lose that.” You admitted to him. He laughed and you soured at it, brushing past him and heading back towards the compound. Bucky’s hand grabbed your arm and whirled you around crashing your body into his before his lips met yours. His vibranium hand reaching around to the back of your neck deepening the kiss, his tongue urging your lips to part. You melted into him, your arms snaking around his waist, as he slid his another around your back. You stood there kissing in the rain, finally letting yourself feel more than just friendship. 

“Hey, will you two stop trying to eat each other and get out of the rain,” Sam yelled out at the two of you. Bucky broke the kiss and whispered. “I’m going to kill him.” You chuckled and looked up at him. 

“This isn’t over,” he said kissing your forehead before turning to Sam with a deadly glare. “You best run Birdman.” He said taking off towards Sam who quickly made his way back inside. You laughed watching him, your face hurt from smiling, again, your heart leaping in your chest as you finally made your way back inside. Steve’s birthday was now your favorite day of the year for sure.

[boowanie]

pairing: joshua x friend!reader

genre: fluff and angst

summary: what happens when you mix alcohol and your undying feelings for joshua hong?

eri’s note: i haven’t written a scenario in awhile but i hope you beans enjoy it nonetheless 🌱

you wished the ground would swallow you whole and save you from the embarrassment that you were feeling but all you could do was tear your eyes away from joshua’s and act as if you didn’t confess your undying love for him. you didn’t mean for those three words to slip from your mouth but with seungkwan’s words ringing in your ears and the extra boost from your alcoholic drink, you may have comepletely fucked up. joshua didn’t utter a reply nor did he look in your direction after your confession which made you spiral down further in your embarrassment.

you noticed how the room went silent all of a sudden until soonyoung increased the volume of the music to fill the room with anything that can save you from all the stares your friends were giving you except for joshua who was now walking away from you. wonwoo was instantly by your side when joshua and jeonghan disappeared into the balcony. he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pushed you against his side, however, no matter how long his arms stayed around you and the words he tried to soothe you with, you remained uneasy.

“you think they won’t notife that i’m gone if i leave right now?” you whispered to wonwoo as you scanned the room to see if your friends were still eyeing you like before and to your relief, they continued to chatter and play another round of beer pong. wonwoo gave you a sympathetic smile and a light kiss to your forehead. “go,” he whispered back, removing his arm from you and replacing it with his jacket instead. you waved a small goodbye to him and slipped out of soonyoung’s apartment carefully, not wanting anyone to see you leave the party.

—

“you’re a dumbass but i still love you,” seungkwan waltzed into your room unannounced while you clutched your head in your hands, a feeling of nausea running through you as he opened your blinds to let light filter into your room. the sun’s rays blinded your eyes straightaway which didn’t help your pounding headache and the heavy feeling on your chest. seungkwan lifted your bed covers up and slipped beside you while you continued to fight the urge to vomit on your bed. 

“alright, you can cry if you want to. wonwoo told me everything and must i say that joshua is as equally as dumb as you.” seungkwan continued to ramble on and on about your sudden love confession to joshua in the middle of a party in front of your friends and their friends and the list goes on. before seungkwan could utter another word, you gagged, feeling the contents of your stomach travel upwards which had you fleeing to the bathroom in hurried steps.

seungkwan wrinkled his nose at the retching sounds you were making but he followed you into the bathroom and rubbed your back to comfort you. he knew how much you hated throwing up which always resulted in you crying your eyes out and declaring that you “will never drink again” but everyone including yourself knew that was a lie. after a couple of pats on the back and a freshly brushed teeth, you finally retreated back into your bed and wrapped yourself with your duvet. seungkwan stood by the door and shook his head at you before leaving the room to get the soup he forced mingyu to make before he barged into your apartment.

—

“is it true?” jeonghan plopped down on the seat infront you while you stared at him, your mouth halfway open as you were about to take a bite of your sandwich before he disturbed you. you looked away when jeonghan wiggled his eyebrows again, anticipating your words as though you held all the secrets in the world.

“nope,” you placed your sandwich down and wiped your hands with a tissue. jeonghan sighed in his seat, placing his hand on top of yours to stop you from leaving the canteen. “don’t go, i’m the one who disturbed so i’m the one who should leave,” he patted your hand and slung his backpack over his shoulder before waving you a goodbye.

you shut your eyes as you watched jeonghan walk away, the truth of liking his bestfriend eating away at you slowly. you loved jeonghan like a brother, and you never hid anything from him. ever. you stood up abruptly, gathering your belongings and tossing your food in the nearby bin. you rushed out of the canteen in hopes to catch up with jeonghan to tell him the truth but as you rounded another corner, you bumped into someone you tried to hide from for the past two weeks.

“y/n? you good?” joshua grabbed your left elbow to stop you from toppling over. it took you a moment to reply but as soon as you opened your mouth, mingyu and jun yelled your name from the other side of the hallway.

“y/n, mr. lee is looking for the three of us! something to do with our project,” mingyu yelled, waving his arms around to catch your attention. you stared back at joshua before giving him a small smile. “i’ll see you around shua.”

—

“who the heck is knocking,” you tugged a random hoodie laying on your floor over your head while walking out of your bedroom to see who was continuously knocking at your door at this time of the night, 2 in the morning to be exact. you looked through the peephole of your door and to your surprise, joshua was standing behind the door in pajamas. you opened the door and a moment of silence was shared between the two of you.

“w-what are you doing here joshua?”

“is it true?”

you blinked at him before moving aside to let him into your apartment, “go sit down.” you followed after him and both of you sat on either sides of your sofa. without looking at him, you confessed again.

“i do, but it’s fine if you don’t. i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable that night that you had to walk away from me. i just hope this doesn’t come between our friendship shua, you’re too precious of a friend for me to lose,” you sighed, tangling your hands together when you finished speaking.

“i like you too y/n,” he whispered, barely enough for you to hear but you caught his words nonetheless. you felt him inch closer to you until he was right beside you.

“you what?” you turned your body towards him, your hands still intertwined together. he looked down at your hands and placed his hands over yours.

“i’ve liked you since we were 17,” he breathed out, his heart hammering against his chest with every word that slipped from his lips.

“oh, i uh...i’ve liked you since we were 17 too,” you grinned.

[littleoddwriter]

Heavy Heart | Roman Sionis x Male!Reader

Another Vent Fic, sorry. This time with Arrowverse!Roman Sionis (Batwoman Season 2), though. The episodes still aren’t out here, but I think I’ve seen enough Clips to at least get his voice and feel right. Sorry if not (in case anyone even ends up reading this).

summary; You’re struggling with personal issues, regarding your interpersonal relationships. Roman unexpectedly shows up at your doorstep and you have a heart-to-heart.

notes; Male!Reader; Reader has Borderline Personality Disorder; Favourite Person (FP); Rejection; Abandonment Issues; Spiralling; Mild Dissociation; Self-Harm (Scratching and Cutting); Blood; Hurt/Comfort; Unexpected Visit; Love Confessions; Soft Kisses; Hugs; Little Dialogue.

It’s only been a couple of months, since you and Roman have started dating. Honestly, you’d never expected it to happen at all. You’ve been his assistant at Janus Cosmetics for over two years at that point, while you’ve been silently crushing on him the entire time. So to say that you were ecstatic about the fact that he liked you, too, would’ve been an understatement.

Naturally, as it always happened, Roman has become your new Favourite Person all too quickly and crushingly. Of course, at this point in your still blooming relationship you couldn’t care less, because you were happy, you were on top of the world when you only thought about him and the way he kissed you and wrapped his arms around your waist.

Still, in the back of your mind, this tiny voice kept reminding you that every time you’ve had an FP in your life, it didn’t end well; and it never lasted very long – a year tops, maybe. So, you were cautious, like you always were. You were hyper aware of everything you said and did around him; how often you texted him; how fast you responded to him; how many gifts you made for him and how much time passed in-between them. All so you wouldn’t fuck it up by being too much or too little. You were desperately trying to find this golden balance between it all.

The last time you had a Favourite Person wasn’t too long ago, actually. They had still been it when Roman has asked you on your first date with him. But not even a week afterwards, they had suddenly stopped responding to your texts and ignored you. They had never tried to contact you again and you were far too afraid and anxious to do it on your own accord after too much time has passed already. After all, you had already convinced yourself that they had lost interest in you and hated your guts all of a sudden.

Of course, you had tried to forget about them, which was made a little easier by the fact that your entire focus was on one Roman Sionis. Still, it didn’t prevent you from thinking about this supposed friend at least once a day, if not more, and wondering where it had gone wrong and if the same would happen with Roman very soon. It was bound to happen after all, and since this particular friendship had ended so very suddenly after not even four months, you could only fear how long your relationship with Roman would last.

Every single day, you tried your damnedest not to ponder too much and let anxiety overtake your body. Instead, you attempted to just focus on Roman and how much you loved him, which was a whole lot and far too much, to the point where it caused your chest to hurt. Often times, you wondered if it would be acceptable of you to already say those three particular words to him, or if that would ruin everything. You were incredibly uncertain, and he never seemed as though he was going to say them any time soon. Either way, you forced yourself to be patient and not fuck everything up again.

The fact that Roman had asked you out, even though he very much knew about your BPD diagnosis had shocked you to your core, but it somewhat calmed you down to know that it wasn’t a secret between you two (you had even checked in with him if he really knew upon his question). Still, you often wondered if he was truly aware of how much baggage you had on your shoulders and just how exhausting it could be to be in a relationship with a person who had this particular disorder – not only for you, but for him as well.

As the months have stretched on with barely an incident between you two, you had allowed yourself to get a tiny bit more comfortable. Whether or not you should regret it was beyond you, when your best friends have suddenly ceased to respond to your texts and more and more people around you have seemed to ignore you. At first you’ve given it all some time and tried not to jump to conclusions, because you knew they were all busy with their own lives and weren’t always in the mood to talk or text – and you respected that, you knew exactly what that was like.

But as two days have turned into four and essentially a whole week, you couldn’t help yourself anymore.

Feelings of utter loneliness and rejection overcame you in waves. You’ve been short of crying every couple of minutes; your chest hurt so much; your skin felt so tight – you desperately wanted to claw it off.

Then, you started to isolate yourself more and more. At work, you acted mostly normal, just like always – putting on this mask of being fine and a good worker – when in reality, your entire world was falling apart piece by piece.

None of it went past Roman, of course, he was way too perceptive for that. But when he asked you what was wrong, you deflected the question and said that it wasn’t important, it would be okay in a few hours or days anyway.

That wasn’t the case, though.

It didn’t get better at all. The feelings just wouldn’t go away. Every time you looked at your phone and saw all the unanswered messages you’d sent out to people weeks and months ago made your heart heavy and your chest tighten painfully. The more time passed, the worse it got.

Eventually, you also just couldn’t help wondering about Roman and doubting his interest in you. Was he truly interested in you at all? Would he have enough of you soon? Would he drop you gently or harshly? Would you even still have a job when he did? Fuck, it certainly wasn’t the best idea to date your boss, was it?

As you sat at your desk at home, preparing Roman’s schedule for the next week, your phone suddenly pinged. Immediately you took it into your hands to see if it was Roman – he was the only one who you were talking to at all anymore, after all. But then you saw that it was your previous Favourite Person, the one right before Roman. They had reacted to something you had posted on social media. They had commented on it as though they hadn’t suddenly stopped talking to you months ago.

As soon as you saw it, your eyes burned with tears that suddenly pricked them, your heart clenched so painfully and your skin was crawling. You were hurt and confused. It was all too much.

Just half an hour before that you had exchanged a few texts with an acquaintance you had on social media, which was as unfulfilling as it always had been. They clearly didn’t care about you, since they would never once truly ask how you were feeling, but in fact only talked about themselves and their life’s struggles. You were nothing but a tool for them to vent their worries to without an ounce of care in what you had to say in the least. It was a role you’d been very much used to, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

So, naturally all of this was a lot for you to process – too much, really – and you felt so many negative emotions all at once. They were crushing you. You were in agony.

As the urge to hurt yourself to relieve the emotional pain and exchange it with a temporary physical one overcome you, you forced yourself to take a few deep breaths and distract yourself first, before you did something you would later regret.

Unfortunately, it only lasted for a few minutes at a time, as the urge became bigger and your anguish stronger.

Only a few hours later, you decided to shower and as soon as you got dressed, you couldn’t even think twice before your fingernails met your neck’s skin and scratched it open. You stared at yourself in the mirror as your hands just kept on moving, all across your neck and collarbones, scratching away intensely until it was bright red, irritated and bleeding.

For a moment, you inspected the fresh wounds.

It still wasn’t enough.

You quickly disinfected the irritated, scratched-open areas and then proceeded to take out the small blade you kept in the drawer below your bathroom sink. Then, you pressed it against your inner forearm and drew a small, deep line with it, causing blood to well up instantly as sharp pain shot through you. You set the blade down and squeezed around your wound, forcing out more blood. You desperately needed to see it flow out of you.

A few seconds passed and you took the blade back into your hand and rested it a few inches below your fresh cut.

You hesitated.

Shaking your head, you put it back into the drawer and instead nursed your still bleeding wound.

After all, you’ve already done more than enough damage.

The loud and sudden ringing of your doorbell startled you and you quickly, but quietly, walked towards your apartment door to look through the peephole. Roman stood in front of your door.

Were you supposed to meet him and you forgot amidst all the pain you’ve been in?

Nervously, you opened the door and smiled at him. It hurt to smile. You could only guess how strained it must have looked, not to forget the angry red and mildly bleeding wounds on your neck that you had no way of hiding, then.

“Roman, wh- what are you doing here? Sorry, uh, come in first, maybe,” you stammered out your awkward greeting, stepping to the side to let Roman into your apartment, while your heart violently hammered against your rib cage.

“I’m sorry for suddenly coming by, but I’ve actually been in the area and thought I could pay you a little visit. I missed you,” he replied as he walked past you and hung his coat on the hook on the wall, “Besides, I tried to let you know by sending you a text, but I suppose you were busy showering by the looks of it.”

“Oh- yeah. Yes, sorry. It’s okay, though. I missed you, too. I’m glad to see you,” you responded softly, nervously looking around the room and avoiding his eyes.

Suddenly his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you close, your bodies flush against one another. His left arm travelled up and around when he cupped your cheek with his hand and gently stroked his thumb over it, before he leaned in to kiss you on the lips. You were entirely too overwhelmed and still a little beside yourself, but you reciprocated the chaste kiss automatically and put your arms around his shoulders.

When he broke the kiss, he looked you over. You could feel the shame crawling beneath your skin, making you feel far too hot.

“I didn’t catch you at a good time, did I?” he inquired quietly, grazing his fingers over the wounds on your neck so very lightly so as not to hurt you more.

Because of how tight your throat felt, you could only shake your head and avert your gaze.

Roman heaved a deep sigh and kissed your forehead softly, “It’s okay, sweetheart. You don’t have to hide from me,” he murmured against your brow, “May I ask what’s caused this?”

Hesitating, you opened and closed your mouth a couple of times, so short of crying again, as you thought about whether or not it would scare him off if you told him the truth. In the end, you nodded, though.

“Let’s sit down first, please. Can I get you something to drink?” you said brokenly, daring to look at him for a second.

“Water, please.”

Quickly, you walked into the kitchen and got Roman a glass of water, while he sat down on your couch in the living room. Your hand was shaking when you passed him the glass and he looked at you with such a soft expression that it took your breath away.

Why wasn’t he up and running already?

When you sat down next to him, he set the glass down on the table in front of you two and put his arm around you, once more pulling you close against him. Your sides pressed together and you allowed yourself to rest your head against his shoulder.

“You can tell me as much or as little as you want, okay, my sweet boy?” he told you softly and kissed your temple shortly.

Nodding, you inhaled deeply and exhaled a shuddery breath. Then, you started to tell him everything that’s been going on lately and how much it all hurt. Sometime into your explanation the tears that have burned your eyes started to flow and run down your reddened face, leaving painful streaks behind. All the while, Roman was quietly shushing you and rubbing your upper arm soothingly, and peppering gentle kisses on the top of your head.

When you were done talking, you squeezed your eyes shut and pressed your entire body into Roman’s side in an attempt to both vanish and be close to him one last time, before he would leave you (at least that was what you’ve expected to happen anyway).

Instead, Roman wrapped his other arm around you as well and embraced you tightly, lovingly.

“I’m not going to leave you, baby. I’m not going anywhere. It angers me to know how much pain people have caused you in your life, especially as of late, but I won’t be one of them, alright?” he assured you and kissed your temple once more. “I love you, Y/N.”

Stopping to breathe altogether, you could barely believe what you’ve just heard.

Despite your disbelief, you choked out a quiet “I love you, too, Roman. So much”.

The issues that caused you so much pain in the first place may not have been solved with it, but you felt a little more secure in your relationship with Roman now, at least. That way, you could now quiet down these nagging thoughts in the back of your mind that kept telling you that he was going to drop you any second.

Sighing deeply, you relaxed a little and wrapped your arms around Roman’s middle as you pressed your face into his chest.

For the time being, you could pretend that everything was going to be alright.

[atsukashii]

❝snow day❞  // k. bakugou

SYNOPSIS: ➛ You and your boyfriend make the most of the first snowfall of winter - but both of your competitive sides makes it a disaster.

» CHARACTER PAIRING: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader

» WORD COUNT: 2.3K

» GENRE: @bnhabookclub​ bingo slot snowball fight

» WARNINGS: swearing, mentions of broken bones & fluff to the max

« masterlist || ao3 »

“Oh my god!” You cry out, excitedly springing from your bed as soon as your eyes lock onto the white flakes fluttering down from the clouds outside.

Its finally snowing!

You run out of your dorm room, still clothed in your pyjamas and sprint towards Bakugou’s room, only stopping when you pass a window and you notice the world outside. The snow-covered world outside. It hadn’t just started snowing it had been coming down all night. Because outside of the building, the grounds of U.A had become a winter wonderland. 

You don’t hold in your squeals of excitement as you charge down the hall, your fluffy socks skidding you to a stop outside your boyfriend’s room. 

“Katsu, Katsu, Katsu!” You sing as you barge into his room. You don’t even give him a chance to reply or wake up, before you throw yourself on his bed, next to his sleeping figure. 

“What the hell?!” He snaps startled, his hair matted to his forehead, and his ruby eyes still slightly glazed with sleep. Once his brain catches up with the sudden awakening, and he realises it’s you, Katsuki lets out a groan and flops back down onto his pillow.

“What do you want?”

“It’s snowing Katsu!” You squeal unable to hold in the excitement any more, pointing to the curtain covered window above his bed. Rolling over onto his forearms, the blonde practically hisses as you yank back the curtain, letting the light in. Squinting at the outside world, he has the audacity to turn back to you with a raised eyebrow.

“So? It’s winter dumbass. Of course it’s snowing.” He says, laying back down and placing an arm under his head and closing his eyes. You pout at your boyfriend and look back out to the snow. 

Winter has been your favourite season since you were a child. It could be partially due to your quirk being the ability to manipulate ice and snow, but it also stems from the memories you and your parents created when you were a child. Building snowmen, making snow angels, having snowball fights and then there’s hot cocoa, warm mittens and beanies… What wasn’t there to love about winter?!

Glancing back at Bakugou again, your eyes can’t help but be drawn to his bicep that’s just right there for you to appreciate due to his love of singlets, even in winter. Okay so maybe there is one bad side about winter - the fact that he can’t wear that outside. Summer was also right up there with your favorite season, but that favoritism probably had more to do with your boyfriend’s infinite amount of tanks and his drool-worthy muscles. Thank god for summer.

No y/n, focus! Winter, and snow... Snow!!!

Looking back outside, childish giddiness floods your bones at the view. You need to get out there. Now. Suddenly an idea pops into your head and you lean down over your boyfriend who is currently faking to be asleep.

“Hey, Katsu?” He groans in response, but opens one ruby eye, just enough to show you an expression of pure annoyance, but you also see the warmth that is there when you’re with him. “Do you want to build a snowman?” The question earns you a pillow to the face before his warm arms wrap around you, pulling you to lay on his chest. Okay, this isn’t too bad either.

“No.” Is all he says, closing his eyes and letting out a relaxed breath. It is a Saturday after all, and is the one day of the week that he lets himself sleep in late - not that 7 am is late by any means.

“What about a snowball fight?” You say, trying again. You really really want to go outside, and to have Katsuki there too would just make the memory so much sweeter.

“I’m not having a fucking snowball fight with you y/n.” Placing your hands on his chest, you push up from him, pouting and giving him the harshest glare you can muster. The amusement flickering to life in his eyes suggests that it’s not intimidating at all, but he’s also Katsuki and hence can be an asshole so his opinion on the matter is bias.

“Fine.” Standing up from his bed, you head towards the door. “If you won’t, then I suppose Kirishima and Kaminari will be more than happy to join in.” You call out over your shoulder. The two boys in question having become your very close friends since even before you started to date Katsuki not even a year ago. And that friendship was a tool you used frequently to make things go your way when it came to your boyfriend. That was not to say you were manipulative, not at all - for he did the same thing to you, but he could just lift you over his shoulder and carry you wherever he wanted to. Seeing as you weren’t close to your boyfriend’s height, or anywhere near as strong, picking you up and leaving was his best tactic to get you to do what he wanted. And this was yours, along with using his competitiveness against him, but seeing as you were both very competitive, this often backfired.

You hadn’t even made it to the door when you heard him grumble.

“Fuck those too shitty haired bastards. I’ll meet you downstairs in five. If you’re not there I’m leaving.” He says, rising from his bed, already walking to his ensuite. You are grinning and he points a finger at you accusingly, his still sleep crusted eyes narrowing.

“No squealing, it’s too fucking early.” So instead, you hop up and down before interrupting his walk to the bathroom and placing a kiss on his cheek. He grumbles in response, but the smile on his lips says otherwise about his “displeasure” of the surprise kiss. You don’t wait another second before running out of his room and back towards your own, knowing full well that if you’re late, the opportunity will pass. 

❄ ❄ ❄

Both you and Katsuki were very competitive people, which was a reason that you two got along so well. You were constantly pushing yourself to be better, not just than the other, but you were nurturing in your ways that helped the other be better. So really, when it came down to things like a normal snowball fight, they didn’t exist.

It was a match to the death.

“No quirks,” Bakugou says, calling out across the front yard of your dorm building. You gape at your rugged up boyfriend and his crappy rules, as he is currently using his quirk to warm his hands.

“That’s a crap rule Katsuki!” You argue, bending down and finish an extra layer of padding to your ice wall that you will most likely have to hide behind at one point. These matches were going to be full-on, there would be no prisoners and no giving up. 

“Deal with it, princess.” Your face flushes at the nickname, and in your moment of weakness from the surprise pet name, you almost are unable to dodge the snowball aimed perfectly at your face. Pivoting just in time, you glare at your boyfriend who stands there, tossing another snowball carelessly in his hand - a feral grin on his face.

“I wasn’t aware that I was dating a cheater.” You growl, grabbing a snowball from your small already made pile, pretending to aim it at him.

“Didn’t know I was dating a coward. You going to just hold it there, or throw it, princess?” Katsuki teases. The smug smirk on his face has your blood boiling in the best way, and the urge to make his snowball hit him in the face is almost too much. Maybe later.

“Oh, you’re on cheating bastard!” You shout before sending a snowball his way. 

You two are ruthless, and your battle almost lasts an entire hour. At one point, Kirishima comes out of the dorms, asking to join in, and only gets a snowball to the face from Katsuki in response. The redhead retaliates by ‘accidentally’ stepping on part of Bakugou’s snow wall, earning a squawk of outrage from the blonde, and then a snowball to the face from you.

To be honest, at this rate, you’re not even sure who’s winning, all you know is that that you’ve been cornered by Katsuki’s relentless fire for a few minutes. How the hell does he make snowballs so fast? You know you need to make more and fast before he walks over here and forces your surrender.

No. I will not surrender, it is victory or death!

You scramble to make a small pile of snowballs when a villainous chuckle comes from behind you.

“Any last words princess?” Bakugou whispers into your ear, and your heart is thundering so loud you barely hear him.

“Kiss my ass!” You say the adrenaline making your mouth move before you can think, but your response only earns another smug laugh from the looming figure behind you. 

“Very well. Now die!” Spinning towards him you watch almost in slow motion as he raises his arm, ready to peg the ice-ball at your face, but the second it leaves his hands, you throw your hands up instinctively in front of your face to protect you from the incoming slaughter. However, the impact never comes, or at least to you. 

“Fuck!” Looking through your fingers, you see Katsuki wiping snow from his face and you realise almost too late that you accidentally...may have used your quirk... Katsuki looks at you with a deadly glare, and if you weren’t already sitting down, your legs would have probably turned to jelly. What is normally a look that you find very attractive on your boyfriend, now successfully has you fearing for your life.

“Did you just use your damn quirk on me y/n?” He used your full name. Yeah, you’re screwed. You don’t even respond before using your hand to flick snow up at him as a distraction, before sprinting away from the grumbling blonde like your ass is on fire. “You’re dead princess!” You are running as if your life depends on it. Because with Katsuki, right now it does. Your arms pumping, heart-pounding in your ears, but you know it’s all for nothing when you hear the familiar pops of Katsuki’s quirk.

Jesus Christ you’re going to die! 

You make the typical horror movie mistake and look over your shoulder, to see Bakugou approaching quickly, using his quirk to fly him through the air towards you. It’s not the fact that you look over your shoulder that makes you trip, or maybe it is. But you’re going to blame it on the grin that covers Bakugou’s face, that is full of so much happiness, it has your brain short-circuiting for a second long enough for you to forget how to run and for you to hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.

“Y/n!” Is all you hear before a resounding crack echoes through your ears.

Oh crap.

❄ ❄ ❄

You sit on the bed in the infirmary, Katsuki next to you, who glares at the bandage on your arm as if it has physically harmed him. You want to laugh, but the second the door opens and your homeroom teacher walks in, any source of amusement leaves the room so fast.

Mr Aizawa looks between the two of you before letting out an exhausted sigh. This wasn’t the first time that you and Bakugou’s competitive natures resulted in one of you ending up with a visit to recovery girl. But normally it was just a scratch or a cut - so a compound fracture was a new escalation.

“To say I’m surprised would be a lie.” Your teacher says before frowning at you two. “Rest that up, and next time you decide to have warfare on the dorm lawn, please refrain from injuring each other. Recovery Girl is not here to heal wounds created from stupidity.” Mr Aizawa finishes before sending you on your way.

Side by side, you and Katsuki walk back towards the dorms, the dull throb of your now recovered arm forgotten when he slips his hand into your uninjured one. “You’re a real dumbass you know that? What idiot trips over their own feet and breaks their arm?” Katsuki huffs at you. “I was blinded.” You shrug, the adrenaline from earlier is still pumping in your blood, as well as your pure happiness from the day so far. Suddenly your arm is pulled until it almost pops out of its pocket as Katsuki draws you towards him.

“What the fuck you talking about?” He questions, thoroughly confused. The giddy smile and bubbling excitement of the day’s events emerges back on your face as you look up at the blonde.

“I was blinded by your smile.” It’s corny and cringe and you know he’ll act as if he despises it.

“I’m breaking up with you.” But the smile that covers his face, one that he shows when he knows that no one can see his reaction, tells you otherwise -  he loves it.

“Who would put up with your homicidal tendencies then?” You reply, placing your injured hand on his cheek, the small movement not causing it any pain. Katsuki watches you for a moment as if assessing whether that hurt you, before he tilts his head and places a gentle kiss to your wrapped palm, then cups your jaw and places a soft kiss to your lips. Sparks flush down your spine at the contact, and you can’t help but place an extra chaste kiss against his pink lips when he pulls back ever so slightly. “Thank you for today,” your voice is a whisper against his lips.

“You’re lucky I love you, princess.” Katsuki sighs, tucking you under his arm as you finally reach the front doors of the building, trying to protect you from the cold outside.

“I love you too Katsu.”

The broken arm was worth it.

Best snow day ever.

©️ 2020 all rights reserved to atsukashii, do not change, edit, translate, or repost any works on any platform.

[eideticmemory]

EVER SINCE NEW YORK VIII | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

Description: I was messaged saying: “If you don’t write a young Matthew enemies to lovers fic featuring an obsession with sucking on boobs then what’s the point 😔.” So, here it is, folks! The ultimate College!Matthew fic.

PART 8! Read Part 7 here!

SOUNDTRACK:

Cry Baby - The Neighbourhood.

Past Lives - Børns.

The Few Things - JP Saxe.

Word Count: 2,832.

Rating: M.

Warning/Includes: Sexual intercourse, drinking, recreational drug use, a bit of angst.

Spring, Senior Year.

Los Angeles, 

California. 

“Not pregnant.”

You fell to your knees, grasping at the air in a fit of relief. You clutched your stomach and gasped for breath. 

“Not pregnant.” Claire repeated, looking at the second test. “Not pregnant.” 

“Fuck!” You shouted. “Thank God!”

Claire broke out into nervous laughter, “Not pregnant! You’re not pregnant!” She squealed. She dropped the tests and ran over to you, kneeling down to embrace you. 

You held each other in a deep hug for a long time. You missed her. You missed her so much. She was your rock. You once thought that when things were going to shit, you wanted Matthew. 

But who you needed was Claire. 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered to her. 

“You’re sorry? I’m sorry!”

“I was stupid.”

“I was more stupid!”

“I love you, Claire,” you told her. 

“Aw,” she smiled. “I can’t even say...how much...”

“I know,” you nodded. “I know.”

You didn’t go back to Matthew’s. You threw those terrible tests in the trash, scheduled an appointment at the student health center, and subsequently spent all day with your best friend. You spilled your guts. Told her the full Matthew story from beginning to end. It was like a rush of information, a physical rush of word after word after word. And Claire just listened. She chomped down on some twizzlers, dressed in her pajamas, drowning out the movie on in the background. She didn’t speak a word until you were completely finished. 

“Pass the oreos,” she said.

“That’s it?” You laughed. “I tell you all of that and all you say is pass the oreos?”

“I need oreos to properly digest all of this information, duh.” 

You handed her the blue package, which she gladly took and ripped open. Oreo in hand, a little caught between her teeth, she said, “If he hurts you, I’ll kill him.”

“I know. He knows.”

“I mean it, kid,” she looked you in the eye. “Matthew and I...we just fooled around. You guys passed fooling around a long time ago.”

“I guess...” you shrugged. 

“You guess? [y/n], I know you better than anyone. There’s never been a guy like this. Why...why aren’t you dating?”

You gulped, “Oh.” You looked down at your fingers, “Neither of us ever brought it up. It’s just...too messy. Don’t wanna deal with it. It’s fine.”

“So, you don’t wanna be his girlfriend?”

“I—“ you were cut off by the sound of your phone ringing against the couch. You picked it up to see Matthew’s name flashing on the screen. You declined the call.

Claire watched you set your phone back down, and you recognized the somber look on your face. “Well?” She continued. “Do you?”

After that, you simply refused to continue any kind of Matthew conversation. Claire noticed your sudden urge to keep quiet, and she pulled back on all the questions. 

“So,” you said. “What about you? Seeing anyone?”

She cleared her throat, awkwardly shuffling in her seat.

“I’ll take that as a yes!” You giggled. “Who is it? What’s his name?”

You sighed, “I’ve been meaning to tell you...but you can’t tell anyone, okay? Especially Matthew!”

You put up your hand, palm facing her. “You have my word. Who is it?”

“Roni.”

You sat back against the couch, physically moved by shock. “R-did I hear you right?”

Claire nodded, “Veronica.” 

“Um...yeah...I’m gonna need you to explain.”

She chuckled nervously, “There’s nothing really to explain. Um, we were drunk...and...you were out with Matthew, and I brought her back here. It—it was a total fling. Until...it wasn’t.”

“Holy shit, Claire!” You exclaimed. 

“I know! But, Veronica, she’s so cool. She’s so hot. She likes classic films, and—and she makes jewelry, and...I don’t know, I like her.”

You smiled at Claire, “I can tell.”

“Y’know, her and I are going to LA this spring break. You should come! You and Matthew!”

You cringed, “I don’t know...you want me to ask Matthew to come on a trip with three girls he’s fucked? Can you say awkward?” 

“Just ask him! We’ll invite more people to make it less awkward, and it’s not like we need to be a foursome the whole time. Just, ask. If he says no, he says no. But promise me you’ll ask?”

You sighed, “I promise.”

For the rest of the semester, you spent a very little amount of time with Matthew. Not only did the whole pregnancy scare shake you up, but you also had a lot of lost time to make up with Claire. She kept her distance from Veronica, as well. Both Matthew and her were very understanding, just taking it to means that the best friends needed some alone time. 

You spent winter break with Claire’s family, and came back with a new, restored friendship. She continued to ask if you’d invited Matthew to Los Angeles, and you always found subtle ways to say no. The trip was quickly approaching, but so was your final ballet performance. You channeled all your energy into practicing, perfecting, all while juggling class and Matthew. 

He brought you flowers on opening night, gave you a secret kiss in your dressing room, and told you to go kill it. You did. You put your soul into the performance, everything you had, everything you were. Until you were so tired that you could collapse on stage. Your ballet friends cheered you on as you exited the stage, and you stayed with them briefly before going into your dressing room. 

Beginning to take your makeup off, you heard a knock at the door. You expected Matthew, but your ballet instructor entered. “Oh. Hey! You happy?” You asked her, stepping up to give her a hug. 

“I’m very happy! You did amazing, [y/n], I’m so proud of you. Proud of everything you’ve accomplished here.”

“Thank you, Ms. Oak,” you whispered. 

“And I’m not the only one impressed by you.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes...the dean of the department has had her eye on you for a while.”

You tilted your head, “Should I be nervous?”

“No, no, not at all. Actually, she wants to offer you a job.”

You looked at her, stunned, blinking slowly. “A job?”

“Yep. Assistant ballet instructor. It’s a paid position, you’d be working under me. And if you choose to accept, NYU will pay for you to attend their graduate school.”

You jaw dropped, “You’re telling me I take this job, I can attend the graduate film school for free?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” she nodded. “What do you think?”

“I—“ you stuttered. “What do I think? I think it’s amazing! Thank you so much!” You pulled her into an excited hug. “Um, when do I have to decide?” 

“You don’t have to decide until graduation. But, the sooner, the better.”

You nodded, “Okay. Okay, I’ll get back to you.”

The first person you told was Claire. She jumped up and down in your dressing room, squealing with you. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! [y/n], this is huge! This is huger than huge! We gotta celebrate. Go find Matthew, we’re going out for drinks.” 

The three of you went out to a bar, and Claire proposed a toast to you. “To our superstar, [y/n], the baddest bitch, the best ballerina, and soon to be assistant—“

“Hey, Matthew,” you interrupted her, turning to Matthew. “Do you want to go to Los Angeles this spring break?”

“LA?” he replied. 

“Yeah, Claire and I are going. We want you to come.” You nodded, cutting your eyes at Claire. She was eyeing you suspiciously. 

“Claire’s okay third wheeling? I mean, you and I kind of come as a package.”

“Well, Claire’s, uh, bringing a friend.” 

Matthew looked at Claire, his arm tight around you. “Really?” He said. “Nice. Do I know him?”

“Yeah,” Claire and you said at the same time. “You do.”

Claire slapped your shoulder once you two got home. “Ow!” You winced.

“Why didn’t you tell Matthew?” She snapped.

“Tell Matthew what?”

“Everything! About LA, Roni, your job offer?” 

You sighed, “I’m going to tell him. Just not tonight.”

Or the night after that. Or the night after that. Or the night after that. 

Matthew didn’t know about Roni until the four of you met at the airport. Awkward doesn’t begin to sum it up. Matthew and Veronica didn’t talk at all. They only acknowledged you, Claire, and other friends, never each other. You didn’t bother asking Matthew what was up, but Claire filled you in. The last split had been bad. It was easier on them now that Matthew and you were...whatever you were. And Claire and Veronica were doing their own thing.

The group of you walked around like typical tourists. It was your first time in California, and you loved every second of it. Matthew and you stuck together like peas in a pod. He showed you around, paid for your dinners, held your hand. He was a perfect gentleman.

Until he got you into bed. Then he was the same old, horny Matthew. He wore you out with a bunch of orgasms. First, sliding underneath the covers and eating you, gripping your thighs, humming against you. Then, he used his cock to fuck you until your legs turned to jello and you came twice. When he told you to get on all fours, you froze.

“Okay, dude,” you giggled. “You have never lasted this long. Ever. What was in your drink tonight?”

“Viagra,” he said simply.

“Yeah, right,” you rolled onto your stomach. When Matthew stayed silent, you turned your head to face him. “Wait. Deadass?”

He laughed, “Yeah, me and some of the guys bought some as a joke. But I took one and now the little guy won’t go down.” 

You glanced down at his rock hard dick, your jaw dropped. You shook your head at him, and placed yourself on all fours, arching your bed into the mattress. “You’re insane, Matthew Gray Gubler.” You giggled.

“Fuck, you didn’t have to say my whole name,” he laughed. He slapped your ass lightly and knelt behind you, lining himself up at your entrance. 

“Why not—ah!” You were cut off by the sensation of him pushing into you. “I—I like Matthew Gray Gubler. Good, strong name.”

“Yeah?” He bit down on his lip, taking long, slow strokes in and out of you. “I like the way you say it.”

“I like...when you pound me.” You whispered, a sly smile on your face. 

He said nothing, just slammed himself into you. Over and over, until you were trembling and gasping. “Fuck,” you huffed, biting down on the pillow. He watched you writh beneath him, held your hips as you pushed yourself back on his cock. Your bodies moved in perfect unison with one another, and it was so good for both of you, even Matthew viagra-boy Gubler was nearing his orgasm. 

He reached around and rubbed on your clit, making sure to keep up his rhythm. You held onto his wrist tightly, calling out his name and beginning to melt into the mattress. You eagerly pushed your ass back, trying to get him as deep inside of you as possible, and make yourself come. Matthew placed sloppy kisses between your shoulder blades. 

“Come on, princess, come on,” he whispered. 

You fell helpless against the bed, your toes curled, your mouth was wide open. He licked the sweat off of your skin and it sent you over the edge. Your pussy tightened around him, and his finished you off with one final thrust. He followed right behind you, finally releasing himself, loudly, into the condom.

Yes, condoms. They’re your new best friend. 

Matthew held you against his chest, the two of you entangled in a soft cuddle session. He kissed your forehead, “My dick’s still hard.” He told you.

You burst out laughing, “Oh, God. Dumb boy, silly boy.” 

“Hey, [y/n]?” He called. 

You looked up at him, “Yes?” 

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something, but I just want you to listen. Just hear me out.” 

You sat up, nervous already. “Yeah?”

He sighed, “Okay,” he whispered to himself. “Okay. When I went out with the guys, we obviously got y’know condoms, viagra—“

“The essentials,” you shrugged.

“Right. But we also went to this film expo. And we’re just walking around, looking for jobs and...this modeling agent walks up to me. Tells me I’m very handsome, duh, and that I, uh, should come work for them.” 

You tilted your head at him, a smug smile on your face. “Modeling, huh?”

“Yeah...yeah...it’s legit. And if I take it, it’ll finally be my chance.”

“Chance to what?” You asked.

“To move to LA.”

You sat back, shocked at his words. “Hey, hey, don’t freak out on me,” he said. “Because that’s not all.”

“Oh?” Your voice came out small, weak.

“Yeah...I, um...I—“ he stuttered. “I want you to come with me.”

Talk about a double shot. You sat in utter surprise, your mouth opened slightly, your body numb. “Come...with...you?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Let’s just do it. After graduation, you and I, on a plane, going to live in Los Angeles. How does that sound?” 

You stared at him for a long time, “That...that sounds...perfect, actually.”

“But..?”

You shook your head, “No but...let’s do it.”

Matthew broke out into a huge, bright smile, “Holy shit! Really? Really?”

“Really.”

He tackled you onto the bed, both of you erupting into a fit of laughter and joy. “[y/n]...” he whispered.

You looked him in the eye, your thumb tracing his jaw. “Yeah?”

He stared at you, sighed, and leaned in to kiss you. Softly, gently, sweetly. “My dick’s still hard,” he mumbled.

You didn’t tell Claire until after spring break. It was an accident really. She caught you cruising LA apartments online, and you cracked. Spilled the truth.

“Are you...” Claire started. “Are you dumb?”

“I—“

“[y/n], you can’t move to LA with him. You will regret that shit. You’ll end up pregnant for real, he’ll leave, and you’ll be on your own.”

“Claire, what the fuck?”

“Well, it’s true! Matthew’s not even your boyfriend—“

“Stop!” You shouted. “I don’t want to argue! I don’t wanna fight with you! I love you, Claire! But I love Matthew, too, and I want to be with him!”

Holy shit. Did you just...you did. You said you loved Matthew. Out loud. And you meant every word. 

All of your attention left Claire, and you simply continued your apartment search. You spent that night at Matthew’s, cuddled up and showing him your favorite affordable places. It felt right. Real. Being in his arms, planning a future with him. 

Right. Real.

Claire swallowed her tongue a lot on the subject. She had her opinion, she made it clear. But she didn’t want to spend your last year together in a fight. So, you both ignored the situation. Even when you began to pack up your room. Even when Matthew sent you your plane ticket. Even when the future became painfully clear. 

You stuck together all of graduation day. You partied the night before, had a small movie marathon, and fell asleep on the couch. Your families harassed you two with cameras and orders and their sheer excitement bouncing everywhere. 

You did it.

After four long years, you had your degree. Holding it was everything you imagined and more. And as you wandered through the crowd, you came face to face with the best thing NYU had brought you: Matthew Gray Gubler. 

The two of you smiled at each other across the courtyard, and subsequently ran into each others arms. Matthew picked you up and spun you around in your cap and gown. 

“We did it!” He exclaimed. 

“We sure did, and fashionably, too!” You giggled. 

Matthew pulled you into a steamy kiss, one that nearly made you entirely weak in the knees. “Tomorrow morning,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against yours. “I will be in that airport, waiting for you.”

“I’ll be there,” you smiled. 

The next day, you woke up promptly at 7 o’clock in the morning. Your bags were packed, locked, and ready to go. So were you. You hopped up out of bed, dolled yourself up. You took one last look at the room you were leaving behind. And you left. 

You arrived at the airport at eight, after getting some breakfast and saying goodbye to a few friends. You saw the plane. 

You sat outside of the airport, on the bare grass, suitcases at your side. Tears rolled down your cheeks, and you saw the aircraft rise into the sky. And something in your stomach told you that he was on it. That, in another life, you would’ve been on it, too.

You sighed, followed by another slow breath.

“Goodbye, Matthew.”