#I need to start tagging all the stuff that aren't finished so people stop expecting things of me

[dreamingofmuses]

New Year's Resolutions: RP Edition

Howdy all, Ash here. I've been having a think while with family this week, and I've decided I'm going to implement some new 'resolutions' to try and help make writing in 2024 be way more successful than in 2023. This will include things from the running of blogs to jobs I really want to get finished. I'm putting them under a read-more to keep the dash nice and clean.

I will say, this has taken me an hour to write up, and I'd recommend you doing likewise if you think there's little ways you want to improve.

-

Overall Running of Blogs

I'm going to experiment a new approach to running the blogs. For this, I'm going to put all active blogs to low-medium activity. In other words, even if I am personally lurking on mobile, I won't be constantly writing things if I'm not able to. (Work is just about to get super busy and I'm anticipating chaos)

A queue/schedule function will be used for all blogs. I intend to dedicate one weekday evening to working without interruption on replies. Taking commutes to the city and family visits into account, this is looking to be a Thursday, which is the only day I am neither travelling to the city nor have a guaranteed family visit. Of course, this may fluctuate, but that's what I'm hoping to work with, assuming those things stay as they are.

However! What all this means is that I am going to tentatively take skullandbowties off hiatus. With that blog being quiet, it should be possible to juggle it better now. Plus, it's officially off-season so the demand for him from new blogs ought to be low. I'm very smart :D

I also plan to update all pinned posts. I am aware some of them are marking a vacation from months ago.

Individual Blog Maintenance

Create "New Here?" posts to add to the pinned posts/info tags. This is going to be a very quick crash course on what to expect from the blog, especially where some characters might diverge from fanon expectations.

FINISH. WILF'S. BIO. It's not actually relevant to anything being written on the blog itself at present, but I really want to flesh out his character and show that he was stuck in stories for years, decades even! The doc has the word count to 4,888 at this precise moment. This is a mix of summary and brainstorm. Since it's getting a 'little' out of hand, I intend to have a 'tldr' at the start that people can read, and then longer versions if they're curious to get the full story. Maybe even have it that they can jump to particular parts but... I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Likewise, Noah's version of Space needs to be finished. This one is going to be a summary, but it's a case of making sure the pieces are in place sufficiently to have parts match canon Space, but also make it clear that there is a lot of differences between canon and what he went through, with his plot entirely spiralling away for 'Part 2'. This is at 5,794 words, and the ending has yet to be ironed out...

(I am going to stop creating needlessly long-winded projects for myself that realistically add nothing of value to my blogs. These two projects are exhausting...)

Theauthorlives is returning to a very small multimuse. Any muses that aren't ones I genuinely enjoy writing are being fully archived, unless they are muses that get no traction but I want to keep the possibility open. Details of that will be shared when I do this.

Redo some muse icons (not all of them!). Though the selection I have for particular sets is a lot, I still feel like I'm missing some expressions or poses. I would like to remake one batch of icons for three characters, and finish iconning a third. Replies seem to be shifting toward iconless, but I like them for asks or IC commentaries.

OOC/Mun Related stuff

Following matters that have happened both online and IRL, I've decided to take a step back from actively engaging with people. My focus will be people that I have been in good communication with for the last twelve months (as well as people I don't talk to frequently but am on friendly terms with) rather than people I feel I have to 'chase' after. Saying that, I'm going to try and not let past experiences meddle with anything in with new writing partners - whether these are brand new to the community or people I've not had the chance to properly interact with prior to this. Just be aware that I might not be super outgoing at first. (This is where setting limits and boundaries is good practice, everyone! Don't sell yourself short, and don't spread yourself out too thinly!)

Which is where I now say I want to send even more asks! Not just memes or sentence starters, but general questions about headcanons or muse opinions. I want to get people thinking more.

My stance on Discord still stands, in that it's solely for OOC stuff, but I'm not giving it out to everyone. However, I have been in two group servers that have little-to-no connection with writing rp threads in them. I would hope that I can fully regain my sense of comfort using Discord as a whole.

Art related

Despite socially stepping back, I still want to keep some semblance of 'community' where my blogs are active so people don't feel isolated. For instance, I want to do something that encourages invasions of ask boxes. That was good fun to watch as the chaos began to spread, and when people are good-humoured to go along with my silly ideas.

I want to have one huge art-related event at some point this year. I'm not entirely what or how to do it, but I think it would be a great excuse to practice something. Portraits, comics, something like that. I'll have a think. (For those who remember, the water gun event was supposed to have an art conclusion but plans for that fell through.)

I want to try and upload drawn responses to heythereneighbor once a week if I can. Obviously, this is depending on how busy it is.

I'd also like to try doodling more on other blogs? But I'm not sure if this is even something people want to see anymore. People might prefer I focus on writing if I have free time instead of doodles or little comics.

... the writing blog. I need to do stuff with that in general. Whoops.

Finally, I want to do what I can to the best of my abilities on a particular day. I've always told people over the years that real life comes before rp, and I still stand by that. Whether I'm around or not every day isn't the end of the world. The communities I write in are a lot slower paced than they were when I started, which is great! I need to remind myself that I don't need to be writing just because I have a bit of free time.

[another-whump-sideblog]

Jane's Pets Chapter 99: Preparation 

TWs in the tags

Previous

Masterlist

Next

You're surprised when Puppy picks up Jane's body, but then she goes upstairs and it makes sense. She probably doesn't want to take her eyes off of the body, out of fear that it will come back to life. That must be why she wanted to stay downstairs originally, but then she realized she could still watch the body upstairs, so now she's doing that.

Satisfied with your reading of her actions, you help Kitty to their feet and support them as you follow Puppy.

…You need to stop calling them by those names, even in your head. But what else can you call them? You add 'figure out what to call each other' to your messy mental list of first steps.

When you get upstairs, you find Jane's body lying on the ground and Puppy writing on the back of one of the coloring book pages that hasn't been drawn on yet. You aren't prepared for how happy the sight makes you. She feels safe enough to write! Already!

You help Kitty get seated on the couch. They immediately scoot away from you, so they've probably hit their limit with being touched today. Maybe they would've rather tried to climb the stairs themself… No, they were leaning on you, and they accepted your help getting to their feet. They just don't want to be touched more. Still, you should've asked.

"Sorry, I should've asked if you wanted help instead of assuming." You say.

"Hm? Oh, it's fine." They bounce their leg rapidly.

Puppy sets down her pencil and hands you the paper she was writing on.

A lot of the jewelry Master had me wear could be sold for pretty good money. She kept a lot of it in her void, but some are in my room. Some of the dresses too. I also think some of the weapons and furniture could be sold. It would need to be sold to someone who doesn't ask a lot of questions, of course, because Master stole most of this stuff. Master had me help her with some illegal activities, so I know who to go to. 

"Oh! I didn't even think about selling stuff! Yeah, we want to start with as much money as possible, it'll probably take a while to get another source of income, if we can at all. I just sort of pictured us being homeless, but everything will be so much easier if we have money." You pass the note to Kitty so that they can read it too.

Puppy nods, a small smile on her face. You could shout for joy. When's the last time she smiled?

Kitty finishes reading and sets the paper down. "So… let's break it down. First we need to gather up the stuff we want to sell, unless it's furniture, then we'll just take note that we plan on selling it. We should probably figure out how much we expect to get, and how exactly we want to spend it, then we go meet Puppy's… criminal contact–"

Puppy starts shaking her head.

"Um… oh, were you thinking only you'd go?"

Puppy nods. You and Kitty share a skeptical look.

"Is that… safe?" You ask. You can't imagine going into a situation like that alone is safer than going with people.

Puppy nods.

"Are you sure?" Kitty's leg bounces faster.

Puppy nods more firmly. You don't have much space to argue, you don't know the people she wants to meet up with. It's completely possible that they would be more dangerous with strangers around. 

"Well… after everything we've been through, I trust that you know how to keep yourself safe." You say. "If you change your mind, let us know." 

Puppy nods. If you thought she didn't want you and Kitty to go for your sakes, you'd push more, but honestly, now that you think about it, you can't picture her prioritizing her own safety if you're there. You'd just be something else for her to worry about, and it's not like you could protect her if something went wrong, even if you were there.

Kitty frowns, but doesn't push the topic. "Okay, Puppy goes to meet her criminal contact alone while we wait here. Um… While we wait, we can start packing food and clothes and whatever else we want to take. We don't have suitcases or anything, but there are garbage bags in one of the kitchen cupboards, right?" 

Puppy nods.

"So me and Bunny will get packed while we wait, and then you'll come back and do… whatever you do to sell stolen goods, then you can pack up, and then we can go to the nearest town, which you know the location of."

Puppy nods.

"What about after that?" You ask. "We'll just be carrying around trash bags of our stuff… Can we find a place to live quickly?" You literally have no idea, you’ve never gotten an apartment or anything.

“Well, we can stay in a hotel. How long we can do that will depend on how much money we can get from selling stuff. We can pick somewhere cheap, it's not like any hotel could be worse than staying in the basement with Jane."

You and Puppy nod in unison.

"And… then what?" You ask.

Kitty shrugs. "We try to get jobs, or get some sort of financial aid. Or we run out of money and end up living on the street. Either way, we'll be happier than we were here. But I think we should start planning that phase once we've found the hotel we want to stay at."

"Well… I guess that's it then. Let's start gathering the things we want to sell."

The three of you spend the next few hours figuring out what to sell. Clearing out the stuff in Puppy's room is the easiest (and will probably yield the most money), and going over the furniture in the house isn't much harder. Most of it will be able to be sold, and if the prices the three of you have been estimating are correct you'll end up with a significant sum. It'll probably be all in cash, so hopefully that won't be too suspicious…

You can't start thinking about that quite yet, though. You're still not done with step one. You need to go through the weapons to see what can be sold.

Right before the three of you head downstairs, Kitty suggests looking at the silverware, so you gather up any sellable silverware too. The task ends far too quickly.

"We don't have to sell any weapons, y'know." Kitty looks over the piles you've put together. "We don't have someone forcing us to do things anymore. If we're okay with not having that extra bit of money, we can just… not. We don't have to ever set foot in the basement again if we don't want to."

"Still… the more money we have, the easier things will be, and I… really want things to be easy. You guys don't have to help if you don't want to."

"I think I'll be fine with going into the basement one last time. I'll come with you, I just… it's good to remember we have choices now. That's all."

"Right, thank you. And you can always change your mind, we can come back up whenever we want. Puppy, are you coming?"

Puppy nods and picks up Jane's body again. She's… going to stop doing that eventually, right?

The three of you make one last descent into the basement. At least, you hope it's your last descent. 

You're so used to this staircase signifying dread, and even knowing Jane is dead doesn't prevent those old feelings from creeping in. You push them away.

The basement is big. In your search, you find some rooms you've never even been in before. You try to avoid thinking about what those rooms might have been used for and just focus on finding weapons.

It would be faster if you split up, but the three of you stick close together anyway. Thankfully, Puppy eventually sets Jane's body down, which makes the search a bit easier, even if not having her body in your sight makes you a bit nervous. You just push that away, too.

Most of the weapons Jane kept in the basement instead of her void won't get a whole lot of cash, but some might. You assume a car battery is pretty expensive. A lot of the drugs could be expensive too, but most of them aren't well labeled so you just collect the few that are.

"It'll probably take a few trips to get everything upstairs." You say once you're done. The three of you have piled up all the things you want to sell near the stairs. "Unless we want to leave them down here and have the buyers get them?"

Kitty shakes their head. "That would cause more problems than it solves. Would we just send them down here to grab whatever they wanted? That feels… unsafe. And if we went down with them, we'd probably have to take even more trips. It's easier to just get it over with now… still your choice, of course."

You sigh. "Yeah, you're right. Are there any boxes we can put stuff in? We can't carry nearly as many knives at a time as we could jewelry or silverware."

"None that I saw. Maybe we could take out one of the drawers upstairs and put the weapons in that?"

"You're a genius! Okay, if we get a dresser drawer we'll probably be able to get everything up in one trip if we carry it together– except the car battery, we should probably take that up separately… So, let's carry the car battery up, then while we're upstairs get a dresser drawer, then bring it down here and get everything in it, then bring it up. Then we only have to make two trips, and we never have to come down here again afterward!"

"Perfect." Kitty goes over to pick up the car battery, and you quickly stop them.

"You probably shouldn't carry heavy things like this while your feet are still hurt." They've been getting pretty good at walking only on their heels, but you're afraid of them losing balance.

They scowl and storm up the stairs. It looks kind of silly because they're walking on their heels, but obviously they're upset. That's… weird. You pick up the battery and follow them up. Puppy isn't far behind.

When you get upstairs, you set down the battery in the living room and then go to look for Kitty. You find them in their room, dumping out a drawer of clothes.

"...you okay?"

"I'm fine. You and Puppy'll probably need to work together to carry this." They push the drawer towards you.

"Do you need a break? There's no rush to any of this."

"I said I'm fine!" They storm off again, back towards the basement.

Puppy takes one end of the drawer and you take the other. "Do you know what's bothering them?"

She shrugs. She has an idea, then– she would've just shook her head if she felt as clueless as you.

You and Puppy bring the drawer down the stairs. At first you're very careful to avoid scratching or banging the walls, but then you remember you don't care about damaging the house, and getting downstairs is a lot easier.

You and Puppy set the drawer down, and the three of you start filling it up. You're almost done– after this you can figure out what's going on with Kitty, and maybe discuss as a group what names you want to go by. You'd like to get Puppy to at least eat something before she leaves, too.

You're so wrapped up in planning what to do next as you fill the drawer that you don't notice Puppy silently crying until she collapses to the floor.

A/N: Let me know if I should tag anything else, or if you want to be added to or removed from the tag list!

Tag list: @eatyourdamnpears @whump-in-the-closet @scp-1296 @thecosmicmap @quins-whump-stuff @fuckcapitalismasshole

[leporschespam]

tag 9 people you want to get to know better

[the thing is 9, but i've got 4 :) ]

i was tagged by @braceletofteeth

fhfhf thank you sm <333

i was asked yesterday on tellonym is there anyone you want to know better and i thought of my tumblr moots so hell yeah let's go~~

(i say all enthusiastically as if i have the ability to start conversations 😔✋️✋️)

three ships

no stop there is no possible way for me to narrow this down to three, i've watched far too many shows

we shall attempt 💪💪

- kinnporsche

vegaspete could definitely be up here too, but i'll stick with kinn and porsche (also porsche is my all time favourite character so of course he's up here)

- moonjo x jongwoo from strangers from hell

whatever they had going on was not heterosexual and i will be standing by that

- sae-bom & yi-hyun from happiness

a healthy relationship being on this list? fake marriage, childhood friends, found family, of course they're here. happiness has to be one of my favourite shows and bfhfhdh i adore them

first ever ship

i definitely had some in childhood but the one that i'm really thinking of has to be mulder and scully from the x-files

they consumed my 10/11 year old brain, and continued to do so until i was maybe 12/13

last song

timezone by måneskin

their new album is actually so good, and this is probably my favourite song from it

it's giving kimchay au imo

nah i really need to write a kimchay fic because i've got ideas but the words aren't wording

last movie

eternal summer, and i think this letterboxd review summarises it very well [spoilers firstly]::

it was a solid 3.5/5 i'd say, but especially considering it's from 2006- oh my god,,

currently reading

i literally haven't read a whole book since about summer last year and i feel awful-

anyway

various stuff on ao3, mainly kinnporsche, but a few gap stuff, some goncharov (the fics are so good istg), and yeah dude a lot

i've got 488 fics downloaded–

yEahh

currently watching

- gap

let's fucking go sapphics

it's perhaps a bit all over the place, but i have been in desperate need of sapphics, and it hasn't disappointed

- all of us are dead

(rewatch) korea just does zombies so much better. su-hyeok x cheong-san, and mi-jin x ha-ri supremacy

- between us

i haven't watched it in a little while because i wasn't feeling amazing and wanted stuff i knew well, hence going back to aouad, but i've got to ep 4 (and omg omg), and will be resuming at some point soon hopefully

i'm also gonna mention stuff i recently finished because aaaaa

- vincenzo

went in expecting a dark mafia show, got a comedy mafia show (and i am SO here for it)

- till the world ends

i need other people to watch this for my own sanity, had me sobbing at 2am last sunday when i finished it

currently consuming

do you consume oxygen–

currently craving

no more writers block would be nice :)

i haven't had it for so long and i thought i was free, but uh no :(

i am vaguely writing though besties (30 wips 😩✋️ send help)

tagging

of course there's no obligation to continue this <33

@saturnskyline @kinnporsche-n-chill @spookyspiderseb @achilleanskops

[thistle-01]

cottagecore au but the setting is the sea, a quiet curve of the coast that few know of, and even fewer visit. there are several gulls, dipping and hanging out in tiny groups where the waves are shallow and fish lurk. they chase clams, other ocean prey, before flying back out again. the sun hangs low over the horizon. they sky is a mess, a blur of pinks, oranges and burning yellows. the purples are higher up, threatening to encroach. evening is approaching, and all is calm. even the waves seem to slow, slapping leisurely at the arms of the sand like they're brushing away the day. cleaning it blank. flat. back to where it was before morning.

kim rok soo lives in a coast like this. it's the very one, where his modest cabin sits, small but sturdy. it has low ceilings, thick clay walls. the rooves are thatched but that doesn't mean the rain leaks through. though he can't do much against the humidity of the sea. salt pervades the place, smelling of water. it's peaceful, a place he has for himself and his two cats. his brothers promised to visit with a new pet soon. last kim rok soo heard, it was a lizard. he just hopes it isn't a snake. he doesn't know how it would fare against on and hong. it would be a small miracle if they didn't eat it.

kim rok soo's days start the same. open the windows, open the blinds. he usually wakes with the sun, to see the sunrise is one of the quiet highlights of his day. he doesn't work. not out here, though he has his connection to the rest of the world via his trusty laptop.

after dawn it's breakfast and chores. he makes a simple meal, nothing heavy. some days it's a salad, some days a bowl of fruits. occasionally it's a dish with lean meats and or eggs laden on top, but he doesn't usually start with that. it's bad on his grumpy stomach. after breakfast it's dishes. they glisten brightly in the swamp of light. they dry out on the rack because he doesn't have a dishwasher. but as it's only him it's fine. he doesn't have many dishes to wash at any one time. then for chores:

"what are you doing. move your butt," he tells the kittens, sweeping with a broom around his small cabin. he brushes away the sand and small crabs skittering away with a scuttle. they'll probably be back in several hours.

[syuga-s]

The Last Time

w.c 4.3k

pairing. Jooheon x gn!reader

genre. angst, a little fluff maybe, idk how to classify it but it's my take on relationships in real life(?)

a/n. (warnings) I throw some curses here and there, mention of the word "sex" once, tried to make it as gender-neutral as possible, I could really use some help about t/w, feedback is more than welcome, hope you like the fic 🧍‍♀️

Once again you were at the same bar. With the same friends. Same music. Same drinks. It's safe to say that nothing's changed in here but you.

For some reason, you were awfully quiet tonight. Everyone was away from the table by now. All of them talking and dancing in groups.

You were regretting saying yes to going out the very moment Jasmine was at your front door. But your best friend really wanted to get you out of your house.

The thing is you weren’t going to be alone, all of your friends were tagging along. I guess I need to suck it up, maybe I could have fun, despite him.

And you really tried, there was no need to make a scene anymore. All of your friends have had their fair share of nights seeing you 'talk' with him and making things awkward for everyone. It's been a while, though. You haven't seen him in exactly 2 years.

How do I explain this? There's no resentment anymore, no hate for what happened between you. But when there's a choice between spending your Friday night at the same place as him or staying at home? Well...

But tonight was clearly different. Something (Jasmine) had dragged you here and to be quite honest, it hasn’t been half bad yet. Jasmine kept waiting for you to get up from your chair to come and chat with Jackson and Changkyun. Her all-time crush and his best friend.

"In a sec!! Just let me finish this drink!" You said while you showed her your glass. She quickly nodded and turned to keep talking with those two. You have to remember to thank them later for keeping her entertained because if it weren't for them cracking jokes every single second, she wouldn't have let you off the hook that easily.

Meanwhile, you decided to get a little lost in your head. Laughing to yourself because you were feeling like having a main character moment. Being the only one sat down in a place full of people. The mysterious persona drinking by themselves.

But that didn't last long.

"Mind if I sit here?" You shook your head. He put his drink next to yours and asked, "How are you?" And it somehow felt like you couldn’t have avoided this exact situation.

You released a breath that you didn't even know you were holding. "I'm sitting Jooheon, drinking… existing, you?" He forced himself to smile. Trying to hide the fact that he was still feeling uneasy around you. Nonetheless, showing you the dimples that you used to love so much.

“I can see that”, he paused, "it's been a lot since I last saw you, you look different".

You hummed softly, finally making eye contact with him. "So you expected for me to look the same?" You surely weren't going to pass up the opportunity to be passive-aggressive to him.

It still makes you happy to know that he has never minded this side of you.

"I'm teasing, I guess we both look different, it's been what? Two years?"

"I'm not sure, but it feels like a lot" He took a sip of his drink and started to fidget with the glass. Maybe you're not the only one that's changed after all.

In the two years, you were together, you never saw him like this. But let's remember the fact that you never fully knew him back then. It just feels weird to see him this anxious. Especially with you.

"I've wanted to reach out to you for a while now," You frowned at his words. "Guess I lacked a little courage" He let out an airy laugh. "I really want to talk to you".

Now it was your turn to feel tense. What is this supposed to mean? How long has he been wanting to talk? And talk about what?

You tilted your head and opened your mouth to ask him all this, but he didn't give you the chance to get the words out.

"Before you say something, please believe me I just wanna talk", "but not in here”.

"Alright then, where do you suggest we ‘talk’ Jooheon?” He took his phone out to check the time. 10:44 p.m. He pursed his lips and said, more like hesitating, "I could walk you home?"

You stared off into your group of friends. This was going to make their night interesting. Seeing you two go together again, just like all those times before.

Jooheon's been waiting for this since he saw on your social media that you were leaving the city. And Jasmine took care of letting him know that you would be coming back in about 6 months.

That was a year ago. More than 365 days waiting to be in the same room with you. Praying that you would let him talk to you. Not that you would reject him. But he was scared, he was perfectly aware he messed up everything.

As you were both saying goodbyes to your friends, you started to think about how everything had ended between you two.

You know what? Yes, maybe I was wrong in ghosting him but after all, I don't owe him anything. Just like he threw me out of his life two years ago. We didn't work out, he never communicated with me. He didn't choose me back. I just had to watch him get rid of me, no explanations, no nothing. And I find it really hard to believe that he's been dying to talk to me. What could be so important that he wants to have a proper conversation? How will I explain to him that I stopped replying for no particular reason? That I just realized that we weren't good together, and I had to let go of him? Should I tell him that no matter my hard feelings, I still thought about him constantly?

You had left each other in the cold back then.

He called your name, and you snapped back to reality. Didn't even realize you were already outside of the bar when he softly asked you, "aren't you cold?"

You smirked and told him "Well yeah, walking back home in this weather wasn't in my plans dummy, but I didn't bring a jacket though".

He used to be so attentive to you. One of the other things you used to love about him. Always concerned about you.

He simply put his jacket around you and started walking before you could complain about something as simple as this. Like you always did.

It feels nice to know that someone in this world knows you to this extent. The way you’ll react to simple things. How can you still love someone despite knowing that you don’t work together?

You realized he still has this jacket. It's the same one he gave me the first night we spent together. Why do I have to remember this now? Not fair. Maybe he wore it on purpose.

You gave a little run to catch him. Now that you were by his side, you were getting impatient, "Can you please start talking? I'm intrigued by all your seriousness".

You were kind of hating this feeling. Everything about him felt familiar. Suddenly, you wanted to cling your arm to his but thought twice about it.

He chuckled. "Well it's not super serious, I want us to have a nice conversation, you know?" You snorted at this, what does a nice talk mean?

"I can be nice, as long as you tell me WHAT you wanna talk about…", "come on Jooheon, just get to the point".

"Okay!! OKAY… I-" he took a deep breath and continued, "First of all, I want to apologize to you for everything, then I want us to talk about what happened between us if that's okay with you?"

You'd be lying if you didn't say that you wanted this to happen since you drew apart the first time. You always dreamt of having an adult conversation with him.

But the dream left your mind bit by bit. Just like your heart got itself back together after he left you, piece by piece.

Overwhelmed, you could only stare straight ahead into the street. He called your name again. Now your eyes were on his, and you could see his concerns. How his mind was going miles per hour, just like yours.

"I want to apologize too,” you smiled and finally let yourself link arms with him. “It’s gonna take us a while, isn’t it?”.

The walk to your apartment took around 15 minutes. The words you exchanged with Jooheon were kept to a minimum. You weren’t gonna get into the heavy stuff right there in the street.

When you finally arrived, you gave him back his jacket. It was gonna get uncomfortable to talk with him with a piece of clothing that made you remember too much.

“Want something to drink? I have a beer, wine, you name it”. He sat on your couch while you searched for something non-alcoholic in your little fridge. “A beer would be okay”.

You got yourself some water. Otherwise, your head would be fuzzy, and wouldn’t be able to tell him all you’ve had on your mind for years.

You handed him the bottle, and you took your seat on the carpet. Your mind wandered off to the last time he was in here.

When he told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did. You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’, for you.

You remembered how your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment.

He took a swig of his drink and by the time he put the bottle on your little coffee table, it made you realize he was sitting right there, in front of you.

Finally, gathering the courage to start telling you what was on his mind. “I never thought I’d get the chance to talk to you again”.

I didn’t think so, either. We both fucked up multiple times.

──────────────────────

You were never a couple. After 5 years, you never understood what had lacked between you. The desire was there. Now and then you had your moments of happiness. Usually on the weekends.

When you met, you weren’t looking for love or a serious relationship. At least one of you.

Jooheon was free, like the wind or like a bird. He flew back and forth and once in a while he needed to land somewhere for a while. Every so often he sought another fire, another bed, other arms that weren’t yours.

The time came when he made you feel a million things inside. Overwhelmed with words and emotions, mostly love. But also turmoil and maybe desperation.

It made you happy that he made you feel so much after being empty for months. You felt different with him. It was the kind of love you didn’t know you had in you. Didn’t even think it was possible to express about someone like this. Until him.

You didn’t need anyone else. You just needed Jooheon. Not only that, but you didn’t care for how long your love would last because you believed that the meaning of the word love was what you had built together.

A few hours together. Every so often the whole night.

But when the morning came, the nightmare started to take form. Texts at inappropriate hours, and even unanswered messages.

You started thinking that you didn’t know better. You started feeling insecure. Replaceable. Maybe he knows better than to be with me.

Desperate to know what you had. But afraid that you would ruin everything with the words “What are we?”.

Tried to convince yourself that all of this was okay. That it was a good thing that you were going slow, giving him the chance to open up to you.

Months kept passing and your trust in him was running thin. He made you feel weird on the daily. Wondering if he was seeing someone else. If he danced with someone tonight. Had they kissed? Is he having sex with someone who isn’t me? What if he’s tired of me?

You wanted to be with him, but It was starting to hurt.

I hate that when I try to get myself to think that I don’t like you anymore… you do these little things that make me love you.

When you were together, he treated you like there was no one else for him. His hand was always wrapped up in yours. Talking until dawn, about college, his family, and your relationship. Those times, you couldn’t lie to yourself about your feelings.

He was the only face you could see in the world. The only guy you’ve ever wanted to keep around. But how did we get to this point?

The day you told him you were starting to fall in love with him, all he could reply was, “I don’t know what to say, I never thought you would be in love with me”.

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Well what do you want me to say? You took me by surprise”.

“You could tell me how you feel. I’m not expecting for you to tell me you love me back, I-“

There’s no return now, you have to keep talking.

“I’m just tired of not knowing what’s in your head, I’m not sure if you want to have something with me anymore, it’s okay if you don’t so, just be honest with me”.

“I like you”. You stayed quiet after hearing this, urging him to tell you more than just three words.

“I mean, of course, I’m attracted to you”.

At that moment, you liked what you heard. But the more you thought about it, you realized that he didn’t actually care for you, or loved you. Maybe that was a greedy thought from you. Maybe you expected too much.

You were angry but mostly angry at yourself.

Why are you still waiting for him? It's been years and nothing has happened between you. Nothing ever will at this point.

You ended up telling him not to bother you again, that if this was his way of ‘loving’ you, you were better off without it.

But that was a lie, you longed for your phone to show his name, even if it was at 5 A.M. Still thinking that there was no other way to love someone.

Unable to put an end to it, months kept passing and nothing changed between you. Jooheon had many others, and you only had him.

You loved spending nights like this by his side, watching him sleep, wondering for hours about you two. Unable to explain how you could love him this much.

Maybe he did love you, but you can’t handle this kind of love anymore. It’s better for both of you to end this, whatever it was because it's driving you crazy. And you meant it this time.

Jooheon told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did.

You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’ for you, this was the last time you were gonna let him in. Your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment. Fighting back your tears while softly saying to yourself, “I’m always going to love you…”.

The texts at 5 A.M. came again, but this time there was no answer. Jooheon started calling and sending texts for days, but you didn’t reply. All your efforts in disappearing from him on social media weren’t stopping him.

He met someone else, yet the texts wouldn’t stop. Until one day they did.

Now and then your curiosity would get the best of you and you would see his Instagram stories with her. An older girl you had met once. They were supposed to be friends.

You wanted to avoid comparing yourself to her but, he never posted something with you. It’s a dumb thing to worry about, but it’s one of those things that sometimes matter.

You tried to understand the whole situation. Accept the fact that you two weren’t meant to be. That he didn’t see a future with you.

Your days stopped revolving around him. You focused your time on getting your degree, learning another language, going out with your friends. Even tried meeting new people.

There were a few here and there. No one was enough for you.

Your ideas of love and relationships were different now. You gave another meaning to the word love. You wanted to find someone who would love you and take care of you. A quiet kind of love, real love.

What you had with Jooheon, was something you never wanted to experience again. Days went by, even months until you saw each other once more; for the first time in Jooheon’s life, he felt a knot in his stomach, he knew he lost you, for good this time.

Months passed and Jooheon left his girlfriend. He now felt different because he looked for you in everyone, yet he couldn’t find you, and he felt empty.

He cursed himself a thousand times for not knowing how to appreciate you and the love you gave him for two whole years. Tears finally fell from his eyes, he couldn’t believe he was crying for someone, crying for love, crying for you.

He took his phone out, swallowed hard, and started typing another text.

“I miss you, and I need you with me now and always, I never thought I would say this, but I’m not happy without you. Maybe I should’ve loved you less and loved you better, I just want you to know that I’ll always be waiting for you my sweet y/n…”

But the message was never delivered. You had changed your number.

It made sense that you would do that someday. It’s been too long, but this didn’t stop him from sending you texts in the middle of the night. When he felt the overwhelming need to have his arms wrapped around you.

──────────────────────

I still love you

(9:05 p.m.)

no, I don’t

(9:06 p.m.)

I’m confused why did this happen

(2:26 a.m.)

I want you to be happy, if this is what it takes then I’m okay with it. be happy. for me. please.

(10:45 a.m.)

I kind of hate you for changing your number

(8:57 p.m.)

I’m sorry

(1:43 a.m.)

maybe if I wasn’t so fucked up this wouldn’t have happened

(3:37 a.m.)

why can’t things be like they were before

(10:13 a.m.)

please come back to me. I need you. You need me

(1:58 a.m.)

I still want you

(4:06 a.m.)

──────────────────────

The day you left town was the day he swore to himself to try his best to get another chance to talk to you, just once more. To make things right, not caring anymore about his pride. He just wanted to let you know everything he didn’t say when you were by his side.

That he was sorry that it took him too long to acknowledge he was wrong. That he knew he was a little too late and wishes that he could say something more meaningful than a simple “I want you back”.

──────────────────────

“I wonder why” You smirked at him.

The more you kept making eye contact, the more you realized you didn’t feel any kind of resentment anymore. You both had grown, and while you didn’t actually need this kind of closure, you figured this was the healthiest moment to do so.

His eyes were avoiding you now, his smile was still there, but you could tell he lost a bit of his confidence. “Okay, so I’m gonna talk first, please just hear me out. I want to rip the band-aid,” He said with a forced laugh.

“I don’t know why I could never tell you that love scares me. That it scares me to be attached to someone”. His tone was soft now.

“I still play in my head the day you told me you were falling in love with me. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you not to tell me those things because you could have changed your mind any moment”.

“I never told you how I felt one of the many nights you spent with me. You were stroking my hair and I seriously felt like crying because I was fucking scared”.

“I was scared to lose you”.

“I’m sorry because I know I made you think I didn’t want you for something serious. I’m sorry for being immature”.

“I look at you now, and I’m happy to get to see you like this. You’re still everything I’ve ever wished for and more. You need to know that nothing compares to you”.

“And believe me, I don’t expect you to take my words as a way of asking you for another chance, I know I don’t deserve it… but I would really love it if you could let me show you I could love you better this time”.

You never imagined these words coming out of his mouth. Couldn’t believe how he was looking at you. Hopeful but understanding at your loss for words.

“Can I ask you one last thing?” His voice was barely audible, but you nodded at him.

“Well, maybe it’s not an actual question, but I’d like to know why you stopped talking to me”.

“Look Jooheon, I don’t know how everything I wanna say will come out, so please bear with me”.

You didn’t know where to start, either.

There were so many things to be said that you were getting nervous to start talking. Because once you opened your mouth, you didn’t know if you would be able to piece everything together.

“When everything ended I really wanted to hate you, everyone around me hated you,” you admitted to him, “except for me and I hated that”.

“I knew that all I could be able to do was cut you from my life, so I just decided to stop talking to you”.

It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. “I admit it was a poor way of handling things, and I’m sorry for that”.

You’ve always been scared of having this type of conversation.

You let out a sigh because you never thought that the following words were gonna come out of your mouth, ever.

“I’ve only been in love once in my life, and that was when I was with you”.

“It used to frustrate me that I wasn’t able to make it work with anyone after you. I couldn’t help but compare everyone to you”.

“I swore to myself that I never wanted to go through the same thing we had, maybe because those memories are yours and I don't want anyone else messing that up, you made me feel so safe, I felt alive with you, nothing could stop me when I had you”. 

“You've been the only one I've ever wanted to see every day, no matter the hour or how busy I was, I truly wanted everything with you”.

You hadn’t noticed how he had been looking at you this entire time. He couldn’t believe that you used to feel that way about him. Still couldn’t wrap his head around hearing you say how you loved him.

You quickly wiped a tiny little tear that escaped your eye, hoping we wouldn’t notice. But he did.

You let out a nervous laugh and said, “I’m not sad, I swear, It’s just that I never thought I would say all this out loud, especially to you”.

“You don't know how many times I wanted to call you, run to you”.

“Last year before I left I wanted to see you, I kept trying to convince myself that It didn't have to mean anything, that I was just desperate for any physical touch, but from time to time, I wonder if what I really needed was just you”.

He didn’t say anything. So you just said his name out loud. “Jooheon…” Followed by a long pause.

“I feel so different now”.

“When I was far away from you, I realized that I need someone who isn’t absent when it comes to me, someone that isn’t a ghost in my life”.

While you were talking, you were watching his every move and how he couldn’t stop playing with his rings. You’re still not used to seeing him act like this.

“At this point, I want someone who will take care of me, that makes me feel safe. Someone who wants to be with me because they love me, and they love to have me next to them. I’m beyond only spending the night over, I want whole days”.

You finally got up from the floor and sat next to Jooheon. Facing him, making him do the same. He kept looking at you for a whole minute but it felt like hours.

You didn’t know what to do after his following words.

“What I realized with being away from you is that I was pushing away what I’ve always wanted. I wasn’t confident that I could meet you where you were. I felt it would be better not to waste your time back then, but that was then, and this is now…”

You kept looking at each other a little too long. Both realizing you didn't need words anymore. The love was still there.

[softsebnbuckystan]

Soul ties - Part 13/Finale (Bucky Barnes au)

“I've hungered for your touch

A long, lonely time”

Soul ties playlist : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/054hHxpYJ2rIluevfSaGRK?si=w1JkdfFwTjuXZMegQd9WHw

Waking up from your first night with Bucky was a feeling you would make sure you'd never forget. You knew he didn't get much sleep : you'd only  been to his room once, but you'd noticed the single blanket on the floor, which somehow reminded you of Steve's bed in the early years of your friendship.

"You didn't even move," you said as you woke up with his arm around you. "I feel bad I kept you in an uncomfortable position."

"Don't. I couldn't wake you up for anything in the world," he joked. "Even when you snored."

"Lord, take me out of this misery," you complained as you got up from your bed, escaping Bucky's embrace.  "You were joking, right?"

He grinned and shook his head no. Damn. You ran your brush through your hair and picked up  your phone on your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth. Checking your messages, you noticed a text from Steve.

"Tony dropped off some papers for you. Didn't want to wake you guys up."

Your heart jumped as you realised what papers Steve was talking about. Divorce papers. You rinsed your mouth, put on some jeans and a T-shirt before telling Bucky about the special delivery.

"All I have to do is sign them, then drop them off at Darren's," you explained. "Best case scenario : he signs them right away and I get to go back with them."

Bucky was already seated and he was getting ready to go change as well. "And worst case scenario would be...?"

"He doesn't sign them at all, and I have to go through the court system," – you sighed – "which I really don't want to."

"It's not gonna happen," he assured you. "I'm coming with you to make sure of it."

"You don't have to do that, you know?"

"I want to."

You slowly sat on his lap, wrapping your hands around his neck. "I'm a really lucky woman." You couldn't help but smile before kissing him quickly. "Okay. I gotta go read and sign those papers. If you want to make some coffee while I do so..."

"Oh, I see, already taking advantage of my soft spot for you," he said. "I didn't think-"

"So you have a soft spot for me, huh?" you teased, a nervous laugh escaping your mouth.

"Did I say that?"

"Maybe. I guess we're even, then. Soft spots for each other sounds good."

You got up and put on your shoes.

"It does," he agreed. "Alright, I gotta make some coffee now."

---

"I didn't think I'd see you this soon."

"Well, I'm full of surprises," you snapped at your future ex-husband as you handed him a small stack of paper. "I need you to sign this."

Darren's eyes kept going from you and Bucky to the papers. He grabbed the divorce agreement hesitantly and read the title.

"What if I don't?"

"You will."

Bucky's low and stern voice had unsettled your interlocutor so bad he opened his mouth without  saying anything.

"If you don't mind, we'll come in and make sure you sign these," you said as you made  your way through the hallway of the building. "I also have some stuff I want back."

"Fine," Darren agreed  grudgingly. "It's not like I have a choice anyway. I don't want your new pet boyfriend to attack me."

"He's not-"

"Let him," Bucky told you. "Please, let him give me an easy excuse to do it."

You held back a laugh : you knew Bucky didn't want to be involved in a meaningless fight. On the other hand, letting Darren believe this was a possibility seemed like a fun taste of payback.

"C'mon, Buck. He's not worth the trouble."

You grabbed his hand as you preceded Darren in the staircase that led to your former apartment. You took him to the bedroom you and Darren once shared ; you could see his face changing at the sight of the bed and decoration that still bore your mark.

"Are you okay?" you asked.

"Sure."

You got away  from the wardrobe you were about to open and walked up to him.

"No you're not. Talk to me," you said as you stroked his cheek.

"This room is filled with memories," he whispered. "Memories that are his."

"And that's all he's got," you retorted. "Memories. That's the only thing he can cling to from now on, assuming that even means something to him."

"But it means something to you, and I don't want you to erase all that," he confessed.

"Bucky... I'm not erasing anything," you promised, knowing how hard it was for him to think he was stripping someone from their memories. "Life is about learning. If I hadn't been married to him in the first place, I probably wouldn't have met you. See? Learning from past experiences is not erasing said experiences. I know you're feeling like the bad guy here, but you're not."

"He looks miserable. That's kinda my fault."

"You didn't let me blame myself for this, and I'm sure as hell not gonna let you blame yourself either."

You smiled and kissed him on the cheek before going back to the wardrobe. Grabbing a bag and filling it with your remaining clothes didn't feel as heavy as it did when you'd last been here. Your chest felt ten times lighter, and you were convinced Bucky's presence had something to do with it.

"I'm good," you said. "Those are the only things I couldn't bring last time."

You left the bedroom and found Darren sitting at the kitchen table, his pen hovering over the divorce agreement.

"Could you get done with this already?" you asked softly. "I'm kind of in a hurry."

"You're so eager to leave me, aren't you?" Darren scoffed. "I thought..."

"What?"

"I thought you could make this work for us."

You let  out a long, disappointed sight. "The very  fact you think it's my job and mine only to make this marriage work is another sign of why it didn't," you pointed out. "I shouldn't have lied to you about my tattoo in the first place," you admitted, "but the way you treated me all those years was far from right."

"But I was good to you."

"No, you weren't."

Darren lowered his eyes and signed the final page. With a single hand, he slid the agreement towards you.

"Thank you," you told him. "I'm glad we could end this the nice way."

"It's really over, huh? You're just gonna leave with a guy you've known for a couple of months."

For once,  there was no animosity in his voice. He sounded resigned more than he sounded sad.

"Yes. I might not have known Bucky for long, but he treated me the way I know I deserve. I'm not sorry you couldn't be that person, because there is someone out there waiting to meet you as well."

"Yeah, maybe."

You picked up the papers and went for the door, Bucky following you.

"Goodbye, Darren."

You didn't get an answer, as you'd expected. You went down the stairs silently and dropped your bag on the backseat of the car before sitting behind the wheel. Bucky sat in the passenger's seat, unsure of what he should say.

"Thanks for coming along," you ended up saying. "I think it helped me stay calm."

Bucky squeezed your knee gently as you started the engine : his  hand didn't leave  your leg for the rest of the trip, and you'd  never been more thankful  for automatic cars.

---

"Surprise," Natasha told  you as she greeted you with a glass of champagne. "Steve told me the news."

"What is it we're celebrating, exactly?" you asked with a chuckle.

"Your divorce, of course! I couldn't make it to the wedding, might as well celebrate its ending."

"I'm-, oh god." Keeping things serious was impossible and the light-hearted feeling in  your chest resurfaced. You thought you'd feel more guilt over divorcing Darren, but you knew now that it was the best thing to do.

Bucky laid a hand on your waist  even though there were a few people around, and Nat handed him a glass as well. Wanda, Steve and Sam ended up drinking with you, and even Tony made an appearance. Laughing, talking and chilling with your family felt like an enormous relief after the past few weeks. Despite your surroundings, Bucky's hand couldn't seem to leave your body : your shoulder, thigh or arm or even your back... Maybe you weren't the only one who felt freed by signing those papers. You stayed up late that night, and Natasha was the last one to leave.

"Big day, huh?"

You nodded and snuggled up to Bucky on the couch. "About what you said earlier-"

"It's okay," he said. "I just...you have memories with him. I cannot pretend they don't exist, and-"

"Don't. They're not relevant," you said, cutting him off before cupping his face. "It's you and me now, Buck. Every moment in my life, every choice I ever made led me to you. So yeah, Darren and I share memories. Some of them are good. Some aren't. So what? You and I will make new ones, and that's what matters to me."

You  pressed your forehead against his and closed your eyes.

"I'm in love with you," you confessed. "I'm in love with you and I've never felt it this strong, ever, and it's scary but it's also the most exciting thing-"

His lips crashing on yours interrupted your whole speech. His hand found the skin on your waist as he laid you down on the couch and kissed you with passion, enjoying the fact that the room was all yours. He pulled back, leaving you out of breath. He got up abruptly and extended his hand, grabbing yours and putting you back on your feet. Pulling you into a tight hug, he kissed your cheek and your neck.

"I love you,"  he whispered in your ear.

"I love you too," you said. You grabbed his hand on your waist and led  him through the compound. You stopped in front of his bedroom and stood  on tiptoe to plant a kiss on his nose. "Let's go make new memories now."

the end.

---

this is officially it guys, soul ties is a finished story! sorry the finale took so long to be posted but i've barely had time for myself with exams coming soon. i hope this story made its way to your heart like it did mine. :)

tag list : @ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02 @writehistorynotthegrocerylist @bluemoon-icecream @lady-loki-ren @simplybombshell @lizajane3 @livingonkpop @kaitieskidmore1

[criminalminds4days]

Family Matters | Chapter 7: Happy Birthday

Hello people!!

I know I just came back, but school and work are really kicking my butt. I have virtual events, classes, projects and papers... On top of that I have to go to work and I barely have enough time to sleep. I am hoping I'll be able to keep writing, and I already have some chapter written in advance but who knows how my life will be by the time we reach the end of those chapters...

Anyway, I hope you guys are having a good week and a good year so far. Enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think!

P.S. keep in mind I did not have time to proof read this, so it might be wonky.

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 5.2k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog

************************************************* 

(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 7: Happy Birthday

It was now time to get everything set up for Reid's surprise birthday party. She was still not talking to him, but something within her didn't allow her to abandon the idea of celebrating his day of birth. She wanted so bad to stop wanting to be his friend and talk to him, be around him and hear him laugh, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

"You're gonna let us know your decision soon?" She almost fell down the chair she was on.

"Can you not scare me to death, please?"

"Well stop keeping us in suspense."

"Emily," she stepped down from the chair and used it to sit. "I didn't accept the position, in fact, I told Luke that same day. To help him with his bosses being on his ass I said I would think about it, but I'm going to email them soon to say I won't be transferring. I don't know how Garcia found out but she didn't let me explain that I wasn't even leaving. Then all of you barged in and I just thought it would be funny to let you guys believe I was gonna leave."

"And you've had us in suspense for two days?! Do you know how devastated Reid is? He probably thinks that's why you won't speak to him!"

"That's not the reason I don't talk to him, I ignore him because he's a cheater!" Her mouth closed fast after saying those words.

"What do you mean? Did he cheat at poker or something?"

"No, just forget about it."

"Tell me!"

"No necesitas saber," She said in Spanish. Telling Emily she didn't need to know.

"¿Se te olvida a caso que también hablo español?"

"Yes, I totally forgot you spoke Spanish." She placed for a little bit, deciding whether to tell her or not. "I saw Reid and JJ a couple of weeks ago and they were in a very friendly situation, to say the least."

"Were they making out or something?" She shook her head, and Emily smiled. "Listen, I honestly don't think that they have something going on."

"You didn't see what I did."

"That's true, but I am also not emotionally involved."

"I'm not emotionally involved."

"Sure you aren't." She winked, "does Hotch know you're staying?"

"He was there when I turned down the offer originally."

"That little prick, he's mentioned nothing to me!"

"To you? Interesting." Before Emily could correct herself she had already made her way to the sitting area, setting all the dishes and cups. She looked it over one more time before deciding it was good. "I have to change, I will be back in a half-hour. Everybody should be arriving by then, do you mind just checking that everything is good while I'm gone?"

"Yeah, though it seems rather interesting that you're having a birthday party for a 'cheater' don't you think?"

"It's also weird that you expected Hotch to tell you specifically, rather than the team, things like my possible transfer."

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh, but it is."

"No, it's not!"

"Yes, it is, now bye!" With those last words, she exited the building.

She paced her room. She had about thirty minutes before Spencer arrived and she was about ten minutes away, so she still had some time to figure out what she was going to say or do once the party began. She knew someone would tell him it was she who organized the party, and that would only raise more questions about her current behavior towards him.

"I had already planned it, and I couldn't get a reimbursement for the salon." She said to the mirror. "No, that might be too mean. How about, Whatever else is going on, I am glad you're alive. No, that's too nice." She rubbed her eyes, frustrated with her responses, and then, the best idea she would come up with came to her and she couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Would it backfire? Most likely, but that didn't mean she wasn't gonna try her best for it to not. With one final look at the mirror, she grabbed her keys and made her way to the venue. When she arrived all the cars from her co-workers were parked, except for JJ's, who out of the goodness of her heart had offered to drive the birthday boy. She wouldn't be surprised if Will didn't attend the event, because that would give them some alone time. Absorbed by this thought she almost didn't notice that almost immediately after she exited her car, JJ, Spencer and Will pulled up in their car. When she noticed them she squealed and ducked, but it had been a little too loud, as all three of them turned to her and saw as she very awkwardly tried to hide by ducking next to her car. She sighed and stood up, waving at the trio.

"Dropped a contact." She weakly explained.

"You don't use contracts, nor glasses for that matter." Spencer reminded her.

"No, but my friend does, and she left them in my car, and when I got out, I ended up dropping one."

"Well, it might be time to go in," JJ said, trying to salvage the surprise.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Spencer asked her.

"I... I didn't know I was, it was sort of a last-minute thing."

"Oh, okay." He looked at her expectantly, as if hoping she would acknowledge the date and congratulate him. That was one of the few things that contrasted his serious demeanor, those small moments in which he would just act like a child and have that twinkle in his eyes.

"Anyway, why don't I go ahead and go inside and you guys catch up later."

"No, you can stay with us. I mean, you can be my date. Today doesn't feel like the day to be the third wheel." He gave her another expectant look, hoping she would ask what made today special, or simply acknowledge she knew what day it was. "Besides, we haven't really seen much of each other lately."

"Yeah, life's crazy. Let me take a rain check on that though. I'll see you all later!" She tried to walk inside but he took her arm, preventing her from leaving.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, she's just trying to prevent you from finding out about your surprise birthday party before we get a chance to say surprise." Spoke the one and only Derek Morgan. They turned to find all of their friends at the entrance with amused smiles on their faces.

"Surprise!" They exclaimed and his eyes lit up even more, if that was possible, at the sight.

"Can you let me go now, please?" He nodded and mumbled an apology as he let go of her arm, she moved next to Emily and avoided all eye contact with everybody.

"Way to go champ, you almost ruined it." The woman jokingly whispered in her ear.

"Happy birthday Spencer!" Everybody said.

"Thank you guys, this means so much to me. I can't believe you all took the time to plan this."

"Actually, it was all-"

"Emily! This was all Emily's idea." She exclaimed before JJ could finish the sentence.

"Well, thank you so much, Emily." He said to her. She couldn't help but notice a small hint of disappointment in his tone, but she decided to not read too much into it.

"Yeah, you're welcome." This one said, shooting a glance at her friend. "How about we go inside and get some food?" Everybody cheered and they all made their way to the table that she had set up earlier.

"So my idea, huh?" She mumbled.

"Shut up Emily, you don't need to read into everything."

"I'm not reading into stuff, it's all just out in the open."

"Whatever."

The dinner had gone great, everyone seemed to be having a great time, especially the birthday boy, though something kept bugging him and she wasn't sure what it was.

"So, have you made a decision about your transfer?" He directly asked her once the conversation had died down.

"Are you asking me?"

"Is anyone else considering a transfer?"

"Touche." She instinctively looked at Emily and Hotch, who casually were sitting next to each other, 'out in the open' she immediately thought. Emily gave her a pointed look while her boss simply nodded slightly. "I'm still thinking. Luke made some really interesting points about the position."

"For example, his deep voice." Emily teased.

"A raise in salary." She countered.

"How do you even know Agent Alvez? I heard of him, but I didn't even know what he looked like before this week." Garcia questioned.

"He was a mentor, per se, when I was finishing up my courses at the academy. I ended up going on my first mission as a graduate with him and his team, I was actually going to start with them when Hotch requested me for the BAU."

Everybody seemed a little impressed by this knowledge. It was true she never really shared her stories, and it was mostly because they were filled with embarrassment, but this was work-related, so it seemed okay.

There seemed to be more questions emerging but before they could be asked, footsteps were heard at the entrance, and soon enough, Anna, Tyler, her aunt Becky (Anna's mother), and her mom walked in.

"Who in the-"

"Happy birthday to my favorite son-in-law!" Her mother cheered and before he even had a chance to stand up he was already engulfed into a hug.

"Son-in-law? Reid, is there something we need to know?" Questioned Derek.

"What are you guys doing here?" She spoke, feeling her throat dry out.

"Well, your mom told us it was Spencer's birthday and that you organized a birthday dinner for him, so we thought we would stop by and congratulate him," Anna said.

"Wait, that's your mom?!" Garcia asked.

"Is there something you two need to share with the rest of us?" This time the question came from Hotch.

She turned to the uninvited guests and gave them the fakest smile to ever exist. "Family, can I have a word with you all, outside? Now."

"Aren't you gonna introduce us to your team?" Her cousin asked, a smile playing on her lips.

"Yes, of course." She turned to Emily, begging with her eyes for help.

"Aaron, do you mind coming with me to my car. I seemed to have left something there."

"Right now?"

"Yes right now. It's important." She basically dragged him out of the venue, and she took a deep breath.

"Well, Mother, Anna, Tyler, and Aunt Becky," she signaled to the uninvited attendees. "This is my team, Penelope Garcia, SSA Morgan, SSA Jareau, and her husband detective Will, SSA Rossi, and you already know Dr. Reid. Team, this is my family."

"Pardon me if I sound rude by pointing this out, but you seem familiar," Derek mentioned.

"Well duh, we're one of the wealthiest families out there. The Blackwood family is very well known, and we've had our fair share of magazine covers." Anna said with glee.

"Blackwood? Wait, that's your last name, but you go by-"

"ANYWAY!" She interrupted JJ, "let us congratulate the birthday boy and celebrate, let's worry about titles later!" She grabbed her mother away from Spencer and placed her and the rest of her family in additional chairs that were part of the venue.

"So, how old are you turning Spencer?" Tyler asked, with a hint of annoyance.

"Thirty." The mentioned responded. Both of them stared at each other and she couldn't decide if what was happening between them was pure hatred or sexual tension.

"I thought you didn't like older men that much."

"It is of wise people to change their mind." She responded.

"I honestly feel like I am missing so much information right now," Derek said out loud.

"Same." JJ and Penelope added.

"I think I have a somewhat good idea of what's happening," Rossi said.

"Well, as a gift from me and my daughter, here are the keys to the Noire museum downtown. I personally think it would be fantastic for your children to grow up going there every weekend or something."

"Mother!" She exclaimed.

"Thank you, but I can't accept that, it is too much." Spencer intervened.

"Nonsense. You are the only son-in-law I will ever have; let my daughter and I spoil you."

"Yes Reid, let your future mother and future wife spoil you," Rossi spoke, a hint of glee in his eyes.

"Have you proposed already?!"

"No!" They both exclaimed. She had no idea how much more of this she could take.

"Okay, let me get this straight, Reid and you have been dating, and you didn't tell any of us?! How long has this been going on?"

"Well-"

"One year, and about four months, right cousin?" Anna was asking to get murdered.

"Actually, it's one year five months, and six days since we met, but we've only been together for one year three months and 4 days. Unless I confused my numbers again." He gave her a look and she fought the urge to not smile. Sure, she had to pretend they were a couple, but she was still mad at him.

"Reid getting his numbers wrong?" Will whispered.

"Yeah, because of his dyslexia," Tyler said as if it was obvious.

"Of course, his dyslexia! How could we forget Will?" JJ added. She looked completely surprised and kept glancing back between Spencer and her, but her tone was controlled, making sure the non-profilers in the room would not see through her. She couldn't help but wonder if the blonde was at all upset by the situation, after all, if she was right JJ was Spencer's girlfriend. The reminder made her frown, but she soon erased it from her face: one problem at a time.

"Well, this was grand, getting to know each other but I am sure you guys have a long drive and-"

"Don't worry cousin, we made time for the party. After all, Spencer is practically family, and you two are just so perfect for each other."

After her words, the steps of Emily and Hotch made the room go silent. He gave her a knowing look and took his previous seat as well as her friend who gave her a wink. This was going to be a disaster.

"So cousin, you guys hadn't told anybody about your relationship? Why keep it a secret?"

"The FBI has very strict policies, and both agents needed to demonstrate that their work in the field would not be affected by their relationship, and it hasn't," Aaron said, giving her a faint nod.

"Wait, but what does that mean for your transfer?" Garcia asked. Her eyes opened in shock because nothing could ever go right.

"What transfer?" Her aunt Becky questioned.

"I got offered a position with the team I did my first case with. But that's really not gonna change my relationship with Spencer. It's not like I'm leaving the country if I accept it. If anything I would spend more time in D.C."

"Interesting."

"Listen, family, I really appreciated having you here and taking the time to come and congratulate Spencer, I'm sure he's so happy that you guys could be here, but it's getting late and since all of us have to be back in the office tomorrow morning we're probably gonna call it a night soon."

"Of course darling." Her mother winked at her and Spencer as if suggesting that was not the reason the two wanted people gone.

"Before we leave though, we would love to get a picture of the two of you. It's not every day you get to celebrate your partner's birthday number thirty." The annoying blonde she had for a cousin suggested.

"Maybe another time."

"No, I think that's a great idea." Morgan chipped.

"Sure, why not?" Spencer said casually.

Was this man crazy? Did he not understand that their boss was right there and this could cost them their careers?!

She sighed and approached the brunette she placed her arms around his torso as he enveloped her in a hug, they smiled for the camera and waited a few seconds for pictures to be taken.

"Now Kiss!" Anna said and followed by that Garcia and Morgan joined her in a chorus of "kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss." The rest of the team, except for Hotch joined in, and she made sure to remember to kill Emily at her next best opportunity.

She cursed internally and turned her face, meeting his eyes for the first time in days. Sure, they had made accidental eye contact from time to time in the last few days, but she had tried her hardest to make it rare, and now she felt somewhat vulnerable. He gave her a small nod and leaned in, his lips touching hers ever so softly. It had been over two months since they had last kissed, but she could remember the taste as if it was yesterday.

A couple of minutes and cheers later they broke apart, his hand immediately reaching for hers. She tried not to wince or remove it, but it seemed like an impossible challenge.

"So cute!" The woman said, disgust in her voice. "Anyway, happy birthday Spence, here are some books that we thought you might like." She placed them on the table and attempted to walk towards him and hug him, but both she and Spencer made it clear that was not an option. There was something about her spanking him during the retreat that didn't really sit well with either of them. "You two are just made for each other, aren't you?" She commented before walking back towards her husband.

"Happy birthday Spencer, I hope the next time we see each other it's to ask me about an engagement ring." Her mother squeezed his cheeks and planted a kiss on each one to later repeat the process on her daughter. Aunt Becky simply waved and Tyler gave the couple a head nod before the four left the building.

There was a silence, she let go of his hand rather abruptly and separated herself from him a couple of inches as the rest of the team observed them. "Should I go set up the karaoke machine?" She asked as she tried to navigate the room.

"You should tell us why none of us knew the two of you were a thing," Morgan said.

"Agreed." The rest of the team said.

"Really, Emily you too?"

"That kiss made me doubt."

"Let me just make sure they're gone." She walked towards the entrance, as her mother's vehicle drove away she sighed with relief and made her way back to the table. "All right, let us get this over with."

"Why didn't you tell us you two were dating?" Penelope asked.

"Because we're not." She responded.

"Really? Then what was all that?" Morgan arched an eyebrow, clearly not impressed by her response.

"I asked Dr. Reid to pretend to be my boyfriend for a family event because my cousin kept telling me she was better than me and I was gonna end up alone because I was horrible and-" everybody observed her, the message clear. "Okay, she didn't say that exactly but the intention was clear! Anyway, because he went with me now my family thinks we're a couple and we have to pretend we are."

"That can't be it, please tell me you're lying and you two are actually in love," Penelope begged.

"Sorry, but Dr. Reid and I are simply co-workers who got caught in a big lie because of my big mouth." She shrugged, "Hotch, I promise, you have nothing to worry about."

"I know." He said, but something in his tone suggested otherwise.

"But that kiss though. It seemed more real than it should." JJ pointed out.

She looked at her, wanting to say something to hint that she knew about her and Spencer and that she knew that comment was coming from a place of jealousy, but she decided against it. She simply rolled her eyes, as if disregarding said kiss and made her way to the karaoke machine.

After everyone had moved on from the conversation and had begun cheering at those who participated by singing one or two songs, she decided to take a little break and get some air.

“If I didn’t know any better I would say you hate me or something.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Then what is it, because ignoring me and barely answering me isn’t cutting it anymore. I thought we were friends.”

“JJ, there are just some things that I can’t condone.”

“Like what?”

“Cheating.”

“I didn’t cheat, I was the first one to the office, so I grabbed the first doughnut. I am sorry if you liked chocolate glazed ones.”

“I am not talking about that! Though I am a little upset about that too!”

“Then what did I do?”

“Are you sleeping with Spencer?”

After those words came out of her mouth and JJ processed them, the blonde couldn’t help but laugh her ass off. She observed as the woman continued to laugh without a sign of stopping soon. “Me, and Spencer?” she asked between laughs, “Have you seen this?” She pointed at the ring in her hand and began to draw images with her hands as if hoping to represent that she was married, and she and Spencer were nothing but friends, she even confessed to her second pregnancy, something only Spencer knew about. But the other woman didn’t really understand, she thought everything was signaling at her avoiding to answer. “You are a funny one! Now, let’s go back inside, I will buy you a whole box of glazed doughnuts on Monday.” She managed to say as she continued to laugh, “me and Spencer? Hilarious!”

After watching her enter the venue, she waited before following suit. The whole scene seemed bizarre at best. Her confrontation had backfired and now she was back to square one on that front. On the bright side, she would be getting her chocolate glazed doughnuts so not everything was lost.

After two more hours, the venue was completely empty. Though they didn't have to go into the office the next day as she had told her mother, they all were more than happy to sleep early when given the opportunity. She had stayed behind to clean up some of the areas, hoping to make it easier for the cleaning crew the next morning.

"Do you need help with that?"

She jumped at the voice. "Jesus! What is it with you people and trying to give me a heart attack?" She said to the brunette.

"Sorry, I just wanted to help."

"Shouldn't you be heading home?"

"That's the thing, JJ and Will got a call from the nanny and they had to go. I was in the restroom, so I didn't know and they, well they left me behind." He looked really embarrassed by the situation.

Don't do it, she told herself. Don't say the words that you're thinking, she urged. "I can give you a ride home." She said despite her best efforts.

"Thank you."

"Yeah, no problem."

She turned back to her duty and the silence that engulfed them was so awkward she almost backed out from giving him a ride home.

"What did I do?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm a profiler, you know? And I'd like to think I'm good at my job. I know you're mad at me, I just wish I knew why."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Please, I can't keep going on like this. I miss you, I miss spending time together, joking around, and just being us. I really miss it and I will do anything so we can go back to being friends."

"Dr. Reid, six months ago we weren't even friends." She pointed out.

"But four days ago we were."

"Are you sleeping with JJ?" She blurted out before she processed the words.

His face went from confusion to amusement and soon he was laughing his ass off. Great, now both of them had laughed at her.

"Me and JJ? You do know she's married, right?" He said between laughs.

"Not everyone that gets married is faithful."

"You're mad at me because you thought JJ was cheating on Will with me? Why would you even think that?"

"I saw you two at the office the other day."

"JJ asked me to be the godfather of her second child. She's pregnant. And no, it's not mine." His smile grew wider as the laughter stopped as if knowing she thought he was cheating was the best news he could receive.

"Oh." She mumbled, everything making sense. JJ’s reaction, the whole signing, and laughing. The idea seemed so foreign to both of them she couldn’t help but feel like an idiot for thinking it to be a possibility. She wanted to hide under a rock and never come out again. How could she possibly think that the two of them would do such a thing? Now that she had all the pieces the idea seemed so far-fetched she couldn't even understand what led her down that path. "I-I'm sorry, I interpreted everything wrong."

"I'm glad you did though." He said, placing his hand on her shoulder. "It gave me a really important insight."

"About what?"

"I need to tell you something." He said, and his other hand moved a strand of hair behind her ear. She couldn't help but think this was all too similar to a movie and how horrible that was, and yet how much she wished she was part of a movie in that precise moment. A part of her already knew where this was going and she felt all bubbly inside at the notion. "I like you."

"I like you too Spencer. You're my best friend." She spoke, completely shattering her internalized movie.

"No, I like you romantically. If it was up to me that kiss would have not been as short nor as innocent as it was."

"Why are you being a dumbass?" She said as she pushed his hands off her shoulders. "Quit playing, let's get you home."

He shook his head, slightly annoyed by how dense she was. "Will you please stop for a minute? I am trying to tell you about my feelings for you because I have been hiding them for days and every time I see you I want to kiss you and hold your hand. When I saw Luke and you, first I thought he was kind of hot, but then I saw him as a threat, and I was dying to punch him in the face. Because I want to be more than your best friend. I've probably wanted to be more than your friend for a really long time, but it took Emily barging into my hotel room and scaring Derek into the cafeteria for me to realize it and now I know that you must feel something for me, otherwise why on earth would you get so upset about the idea of JJ and I having an affair?  So, can you please put the pieces together and come here so we can make out in the middle of a salon on my birthday like I dreamt last night?"

"You're joking, right?" She said, her heartbeat speeding up, half of her body wanting to run and the other half wanting to do exactly what Spencer had suggested. Well, it was more of an eighty percent for staying and twenty percent for running.

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"You actually like me?"

"Yes! And I'm pretty sure you like me."

"I mean, sure, you're funny and a great friend. Not to mention cute, well I guess we have to be honest here, you're hot, like really hot, but just because I see that doesn't mean I like you, does it?"

"Do you want to kiss me right now?"

"Yes! Wait, no! I mean yes! I-"

"Let me help you out a little with that." Before she could ask how Spencer had already shortened the distance between them, placing his lips on her. This was the first time they had kissed without an audience, or as a part of their fake relationship. To prove how real this was, Spencer didn't hold back. First, his hands were on her cheeks, but they slowly moved to her hair, hips, and pretty much anywhere he could find. Hers never left his hair, appreciating how soft it actually was and the fact that despite his immense love of his hair and that he despised people touching it, not once had he complained.

She thought back on her conversations with Emily, on how Reid always made her feel safe. Sitting on a couch with her head resting on his shoulder had felt so right, and the idea of losing him to JJ had made her spiral. She knew that Will's feelings were not going to be the only ones hurt if it had been true. She wanted him.

She liked him.

It was so ridiculously obvious that she had to laugh. One would think metaphorically, but since she can't ever have a good moment without ruining it, her body decided to actually laugh, interrupting what had become a heated make-out session. As she tried to stop her laughter, he looked at her, confused.

"That bad?"

"What?" She said between laughter, "no! It's not that, it's just that I am so dumb. How did I not see that I like you so fucking much?" She continued, her laugh subsiding. "Spencer Reid, will you be my real boyfriend?"

"This has to be the best birthday present ever." He smiled, “but I don’t know if I am convinced by this offer."

"How about I second it by offering a make-out session in my car, and instead of driving you to your apartment, you can stay with me tonight?"

"Yes, please!"

“Is that a deal then?”

“How could I ever say no to you.”

After what seemed like a lifetime, but also a blink of an eye, they had made their way to her apartment. His shirt was wrinkled, and both their lips were read as can be. The small hickeys that he had graciously given her were now on full display as her neck was left exposed. She opened the door and he stepped inside after her, making sure to close and lock the entrance.

“Before we go any further, I need to ask.”

“No, Spencer, I am not a virgin.” She responded with a smile.

“That’s not what I was going to ask.” She observed him, encouraging him to continue. “Are you seriously thinking of leaving the BAU to go work with that jerk?”

“First off, he’s not a jerk. You don’t need to be jealous; Luke and I are just friends. And secondly, I turned down the offer as soon as he presented it to me. I was just giving you all a hard time.”

He frowned, clearly not as amused by that knowledge as she was. “There is something you should know.”

“What is it?” Her smile faded as his expression turned to a serious and concerned one.

“I sleep on the right side of the bed.”

“But you said-“

“I know what I said, I simply didn’t want you to feel bad, so I took the left side.”

“Spencer…” They almost fell as she crashed her lips to his. For others, this simple gesture might seem like nothing but knowing he would do something just to accommodate her was somehow so amazing and heartwarming. This knowledge summed by her newfound feelings were giving her the urge to pull him to her bedroom right then and there, but sadly for her, there were still certain things that needed to be addressed. “Before I undress you, and trust me I am dying to do that, I need to request something from you.”

“Anything.”

“Stop wearing tight pants to work.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have a very nice ass, I have noticed. And recently you have decided to use dress pants that don’t let me forget about this knowledge. We need to keep our relationship secret, at least for the time being, and watching you in those pants is not gonna help me, at all.”

“On one condition.”

“Yes?”

“You need to stop wearing blue.”

“But it’s my favorite color!”

“I know, and you look really good in it, like really good. It’s not good for me.” He planted a soft kiss on her neck, and that alone would have made her agreed to pretty much anything he asked.

“Okay, yes.”

“Good, now can we please get to business.”

“Never call us having sex business again.”

“Noted, as long as this isn’t the only time we have sex.”

“As if.”

[choicesfanaf]

The Meeting of a Lifetime AU Part 4: One Year of Togetherness

Pairing: Ethan x f!MC (Arundhati Kulkarni)

Characters: Ethan Ramsey, Arundhati Kulkarni, Ruby Ramsey (OC), Uma Kulkarni (OC), Alan Ramsey

Word Count: 1581

Rating: General

Summary: Ethan and Arundhati meet after 15 years.

Category: Fluff

Tagging: @nooruleman, @sophxwithers, @schnitzelbutterfingers, @jooous, @red-rookie

A/N:

@nooruleman: Noorie, I am extremely thankful for your help, support and motivation. It was only because of you that I decided to write this series. You are a literal sweetheart. Thanks a lot for your help!

I sincerely apologise if this turns out to be messy or not up to your expectations.

On their first anniversary, Ethan and Arundhati decided to take Alan and the girls to the aquarium for a day of fun and relaxation.

'Who wants to go to the aquarium?', Arundhati burst into the living room, clearly excited, forming a plan in her head.

'Me! Me!', the girls shouted.

'Then let's start packing up! We're going to leave once grandpa is here.'

'Is grandpa coming with us?'

'Yeah, he is.'

'Then the trip is going to be even more fun, isn't it, Uma?'

'Yup!'

A few hours later, they were on their way to the aquarium, when Alan realised why they were going on a trip in the middle of the week.

'Happy Anniversary, my children. Forgive me, for I just remembered it right now.'

'That's fine, dad, all that matters is you wishing us', Ethan mentioned.

'Yeah, dad, don't worry much about it.'

'Are we there yet?', the girls asked, eager to reach the aquarium.

'No, kiddos, but we will reach there in half an hour.'

As soon as they reached, the girls started pulling their parents towards the entrance.

'Wait, girls, don't run, the aquarium isn't going anywhere!', Aru said, scared that they would slip and fall.

'Aru, don't worry, I'm right behind them.'

The girls were mesmerised by the vastness of the aquarium.

'This aquarium is huge!'

'I know. It has many floors. How cool is that!'

'Wow', Uma said, looking around, deciding where to go first.

'Where do you want to go first, girls?'

'To see the penguins and the octopus!'

'Okay, let's go.'

'Look, they are giving him toys.'

'He's coming out to get them!'

'Go buddy go, you can do it!', the girls cheered along.

'Good job, bud!'

'What are these spiky ball-shaped things here?'

'They are called sea anemones.'

'They are so small and cute! I love them!'

'I know, they are so colourful and pretty!'

'What are those cup-like things, dad?'

'Oh, they are the suction cups, sugar. Octopuses use them to feel and smell things.'

'That's so cool!'

'This was amazing! Let's go to the penguins next, mom!'

'Okay, chipmunk, let's go. Slow down, girls, there is no need to run. You might hurt yourself!'

'Look how cute they are, Uma!'

'I know, they look so cute flipping their arms around.'

'Look at that penguin hop!'

'It's so funny to look at.'

'There are so many of them... How many do you think they have, Uma?'

'I think around 90-100. What about you?'

'I think around 200..'

'But why are they shouting? They are hurting my ears..'

'Looks like they are talking to their friends!'

'Come on, let's go to that fish tank over there', Ruby pointed out.

'Wait, grandpa, why are the bottles present in that fish tank?', Uma observed.

'Oh......'

'Hello, I'm Stephen. How may I help you today?'

'Could you please answer some questions that the girls might have?'

'Sure! Ask away!'

Why are there bottles here?'

'They aren't your regular bottles, they are treasures!'

'Treasures, that's so fantastic! Are they pirates?'

'Who?'

'The people who run this aquarium..'

'Oh, sadly, that's not the case. But, the people who bring them, called divers, are similar to pirates.'

'How?'

'Sometimes, when searching for fishes, they find various beautiful objects, which they keep as a collection in this tank to make the fish comfortable and to let them feel as if they are still living in the sea.'

'That's amazing! They look so lovely.'

'Where do they come from?'

'They come from Eastport Maine. It is one of the old fishing ports of the USA.'

'Wow!!', marvelled Ruby.

'We only include natural materials and keep away materials like plastic as they can cause harm to the fishes.'

'Ohhhh'

'How do the fishes use these treasures?'

'Some of them use it for laying eggs, while some use it for hiding.'

'That's so awesome.'

'Do you have any more questions, girls?'

'Nope.'

'Okay, thanks Stephen, you helped us a lot.'

'No worries, it's my job.'

'Okay, who wants to have lunch?', Ethan asked as Stephen walked away from them.

'What are we going to have?'

'Let's go check the canteen!'

'Yes please, my stomach is rumbling', commented Aru.

After getting the kids what they wanted, Ethan and Aru were going to sit down, when Alan approached them.

'Don't you want to spend some time alone?'

'What do you mean, dad?'

'Isn't it your anniversary today?'

'Yeah'

'Then go, celebrate it privately.'

'How can we do it now?'

'I meant, after taking the kids home.'

'Don't worry, Dad, I already have something planned.'

'Care to tell me what it is?'

'Sure, but not in front of Aru.'

'So, are you ready to explore more?'

'Yeah!!'

'Do you want to see the seahorses next?'

'Yeah, let's go, grandpa.'

The girls were in awe of the seahorses.

'Look at the different colours of the seahorses! Some of them are pink, the others are purple. It looks so splendid!'

'Look at those baby seahorses, Ruby!'

'They look so cute!'

'Will they eat the small fish here?'

'No, sugar, they might eat the same food, but they won't harm each other.'

'Grandpa, what are they eating?'

'Wait a moment, chipmunk' he peered as close he could get, 'I can't say if it's exactly that, but it looks like shrimp to me.'

'Is this seahorse changing its colour, Ruby?'

'There might be a little bit of change. I wonder why...', the kids discussed amongst themselves.

'Wait, why are those big seahorses dancing?', Ruby asked, pointing to a pair of seahorses near the end of the tank.

'Chipmunk, you can look it up after we go home, okay? I'm sorry that there is no one here to answer your queries.'

'No problem, dad, I know it's not your fault.'

'Mom, I'm tired, can we go home now?'

'Are you sure, chipmunk? Don't you want to explore?'

'No, dad. I just want to go home and sleep.'

'What about you, Ruby?'

'I agree with Uma.'

'Okay, then, let's go home. But first, who wants to get some souvenirs?'

'Me! Me!', the kids shouted.

'Let's go then.'

Ethan waited outside while Alan and the girls went in to get what they wanted.

'So, what did you get, girls?'

'We did not want to get anything, dad.'

'Why may I ask?'

'It was too boring, and the same stuff, everything was printed with their logo. Nothing felt interesting.'

'Oh.. and what about you, dad?'

'I did not find anything that I liked.'

'I hope that's not a problem.'

'Not at all.'

'Good, let's get going, shall we?'

The girls were so tired that they crashed on their beds as soon as they reached.

Ethan and Aru used this golden opportunity to celebrate their anniversary.

'Happy Anniversary, darling.'

'Happy Anniversary, love. You are the best gift I have ever received in my life and every day I thank God that we met again after all.'

'Aru, my love, my life has changed for the best since I met you. You have made me a human capable of emotions simply by existing. I will truly never be able to thank you enough. You have made me the man I am today.'

'Ethan, you always know how to make me feel all warm and fuzzy.'

'I have a surprise for you.'

'What is it?'

'Let's go to the kitchen to find out.'

When they entered the kitchen, Ethan started playing a romantic track.

'Wow.. this looks magnificent, Ethan. The candles smell so lovely. When did you get the time to set all this up?'

'I have my ways.'

'Candlelight dinner with such beautiful roses and amazing tender music... who knew that the great Ethan Ramsey is such a romantic?'

'I think everyone started to know that after we started dating, Aru.'

'What do we have for dinner, sir?'

'Oh, we have chicken alfredo, vegetarian lasagna, chocolate cake and red wine.'

'That's a lot of food. How did you manage?'

'As I said, I have my ways.'

'Okay, Dr Terminator, keep your secrets, but I must say, it looks very tempting.'

'Thanks. You will never stop using that nickname, will you?', he asked.

'Never.'

'Good, I'm quite fond of it.'

'Mmmm... this is indeed heavenly. I've never had anything this good. You are an amazing chef, Ramsey.'

'Why, thank you.'

'The wine goes so well with both the chicken and the lasagna, great choices, Ethan.'

'I know, that's why I chose them.'

'I don't think I will be able to eat anymore, darling. I'm too full.'

'At least have a bit of the cake...'

'Okay, honey. But only a teeny weeny bit.'

'Sure.'

The girls walked in just as Ethan and Aru finished cleaning up.

'Hi girls, how was your sleep?'

'It was good. What's for dinner? I'm really hungry.'

'Chicken Alfredo, Veg Lasagna and Chocolate cake.'

'That sounds really delicious.'

'Thank dad for it, he is the one who made everything.'

'Wow, thanks, dad! When did you get the time to make all of this?'

'That's a secret, kids. But I can tell you tomorrow when mom is not around, okay?'

After cleaning up and tucking the kids into their beds, Aru and Ethan collapsed into their bed.

'Today was an amazing day, darling. Thanks a lot for everything. I love you.'

'Oh honey, thanks for everything, too. You are my everything. I wouldn't be here without you. I love you', he cuddled with her before dozing off to sleep due to exhaustion.

[xxisxxisxxis]

AU: Gateway Drug | "Forty-Something" [PT. 1]

[Pt. 2 HERE]

**This was not my idea, the credit goes fully to an anon that suggested it!!

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1988

"Shh!" I try not to laugh at Izzy as he nearly trips coming around the corner, bracing himself against the wall as I'm tucked under his arm to help him keep his balance. 

"When the hell did this get here?" He asks in reference to the wall, fumbling for his key when we get to his room. 

"You gotta slow down some, Izzy." I tell him softly as he struggles to get the door open but he eventually does. 

"I know, I know, I hear Axl bitch at me about it constantly, trust me I know." He rolls his eyes, careful not to drop his cigarette as he reaches for a lighter. 

He can't steady his thumb enough to light it, though, and I sigh and snatch the lighter from him, lighting the cigarette before he can complain. 

"Thanks." He falls back on the bed, chuckling a little as I stand at the foot of the bed, my arms crossed. "Don't take this the wrong way but you look hot even when you're knocked up." 

"And you're high." I roll my eyes. "And drunk." I add. "And I'm leaving you to it because I'm tired." 

I go to leave but he sits up. 

"You can crash here." He offers and I raise my brows. 

"Izzy, if this is a part of some grand scheme to be the next in line to have sex with me--"

"--You're pregnant. I don't fuck pregnant chicks." He wrinkles his nose, laying back down. 

"Gee, thanks." I mumble, crawling onto the bed and laying on my back beside him. 

In a moment of quiet I glance over at him smiling smugly. 

"What?" He questions, taking notice. 

"You love me so much you don't even know how to handle it." I tell him. 

"Like hell I do." He denies it in a sharp scoff. 

"You don't want me to leave you."

"That doesn't mean anything." 

"We're friends." I say next. 

"No, we're not." 

"You love me." 

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." 

I keep my smile for a few more moments, before I close my eyes. 

I feel him scoot the tiniest bit closer to me before settling down, too.

"Psst," he says in a few minutes and I open an eye and look at him. 

"What is it?" 

"You wanna get married?" 

I furrow my brows and turn to face him fully. 

"How the hell do you go from denying we're even friends to wanting to marry me?" 

"I'm high and drunk, like you said." He admits and I sigh, shaking my head a little as he clears his throat. "You and Nikki are getting divorced, you and Duff aren't together, either...everybody I know is getting hitched. I'm left out." He shrugs. 

"Be thanking God." I tell him and he chuckles. 

"Oh, c'mon. It wouldn't be that bad." He argues. "It would work out because Duff's in the band so he'd get to see the baby all the time so you wouldn't have to worry much with working in visiting and stuff. My mom would fucking love you, your dad already likes me...we've already seen each other naked so we know what to expect." He adds.

I hit his arm and glare at him. 

"Well, we're together a lot so we know each other's habits and stuff...I think it could work." 

"You're high. And drunk." I reiterate, getting back on my back. "And full of shit." 

"Okay, what about that old pact that desperate lonely people make? Like, 'if we're forty something and neither of us are married, we'll get married to each other'?" 

Knowing that by the time we're in our forties we most definitely won't be single, I humor him. 

"Izzy, if we even make it to forty-something, and you're sober and have your shit together, I'll marry you." I agree. 

"Deal," he holds his hand out for me to shake, and I do.

"Now go to sleep." I urge, turning over to face away from him. 

"The cold sex shoulder is already starting to settle in and we aren't even together yet." He aggravates and I reach my hand back and swat at him, making him laugh. 

1989

"Izzy, stop touching it!" I bark, hitting at his hand.

"Viv, I'm good, that fucking pixie stick didn't do shit." He bites back, his fingers on his nose as I'm holding ice to it. 

"Jeffrey Dean Isbell." I snap. 

"Vivian Estine Kinston." He says right back. 

"Fine!" I shove at his nose and he winces. 

"Jesus fuck, Vivian, I said it doesnt hurt to touch it, not fucking reset the bone, damnit!" He gripes in pain. 

"Oh, no, that fucking pixie stick didn't do shit." I remind him. "And you deserved it, by the way." 

"Here we go," he grumbles, leaning his head back in the car. 

"No, I mean seriously, Izzy. Drunk or not you can't go one night without being a complete asshole to a woman? Especially if they're your friends' wife, you're supposed to have extra respect for them, jesus." 

"I'm not friends with that little squealy bitch." He declares. 

"You still respect his wife. You don't pull her dress up and then hit her when she raises hell at you for doing it." 

"I didn't hit her, I karate chopped her. There's a fucking difference." He informs. 

"Either way, you're a moron." 

"And you're a bitch." 

"I don't take anything seriously from someone who snorts so much coke he only has one nostril because the size of the hole burnt into his septum." I hiss. 

"That's perfectly fine because I never took anything you've said seriously just because." He doesn't miss a beat before he drops the ice for a moment to light a cigarette.

"You're such a jackass."

"Are we saying vows right now?" He asks in reference to our insults. 

"I said when you're sober and forty-something, although right now I don't see you making it to forty-something."

"We should probably go ahead and consummate it, then." 

"Oh, gee, how tempting, I don't know how I'd possibly ever resist such an idea." I sarcastically let out and roll my eyes. 

"Vegas is only a few hours away," he points out. 

"The loss of blood from your nasal cavity is definitely getting to you." I scoff. 

"Viv, what could possibly be so bad about marrying me?" He blows smoke put of his mouth. 

"Well, for one, when you want a girl to marry you, you don't ask her while you're strung out or on a coke binge or drunk. You don't ask her while blowing cigarette smoke in her face, and you certainly don't ask her after getting your face beat in for sexually harassing and physically assaulting your acquaintance's wife." 

"I was fucked up, and that doesn't make it alright or whatever but I really do feel like shit about it, you know."

"Then you need to call Vince as soon as you can and explain that to him and apologize to him and Sharise. Because it really embarrassed her and hurt her feelings." I tell him. 

"Then will you marry me?" 

"I'm not talking about this anymore, Izzy, drop it." 

"Fine." He doesn't argue...but I do see him glance at me from the corner of my eye, a smirk on his lips. 

1990

"Tommy, I can't just up and fly out to Toronto tomorrow because me and Duff are going up to visit his family for a few days with Monroe." I explain, putting mascara on. 

"Well, think about it alright?" 

"Tommy, I'm not thinking about it, there's no way for me to go to Seattle and Toronto at the same time." 

"Well--"

"--I'll see you guys in a couple weeks, anyway, so what's the deal?" 

"The 'deal' is that you act like you don't want anything to do with us now that you and Nikki aren't togther anymore." He accuses. 

"That's not true." 

"Anytime you come out to a show is if Sharise or Heather are out on the road, too, and you just hangout with them the whole time and avoid us." 

"Gee, Tommy, could that possibly be because you idiots wore me down so much over the course of six years that I just don't have the energy to even be around you too much even when you're sober?" 

There's silence on the other line. 

"Not trying to be an ass, Tommy, but it's the truth. I love you, but I can't make it to Toronto. I'm sorry." 

More silence. 

I just sigh and hang up, finishing my makeup before I hear a horn honking out front.

"Monroe," I peek my head into his nursery, seeing his butt up in the air, thumb in mouth, tiny snores coming from him. 

I gently shake him awake, picking him up when all else fails, heading to the car. 

As soon as I get out there, I hand Monroe to Izzy, who's behind the wheel, as I get Monroe's carseat in his car. 

Once the toddler is locked in, I get in the passenger side and let out a breath. 

"You alright?" He asks me. 

"Yeah, just...a lot...I told Tommy I didn't want to go see them because I don't have the energy to be around them now that they're sober due to how they acted for so long when Nikki and I were together." 

"So...you don't want to be around them, but you'll come be around all of us." He points out. 

"I'd rather be in a room full of messed up Guns N' Roses than sober Mötley Crüe." 

"Ouch." He mumbles. 

"So, where we going?" I ask him. 

"The courthouse." He explains. 

"For what?" 

"To get married." He answers casually. 

"Ha, ha, funny...seriously where are we going?" 

"To the courthouse to get married." He says, again. 

"Izzy. That's not funny." I state. 

"I'm glad it isn't because I'm being serious, Viv." 

"Izzy, no you're not." 

"Yeah, I am."

"Stop the car." I order and he sighs, slowing down. 

"Damnit, Viv." He says as I open the door and get out, feeling too trapped in the car. "Now, you know I've been asking you for the past two years, Viv, I'm tired of hearing, 'no'. You think I'm kidding when I ask you but I'm being serious." 

"You can't be serious, Izzy, because it literally came out of nowhere the first time you even suggested it! 'Everybody else is doing it and I'm left out' is a shitty reason to want to marry someone--and you're not even four months sober! The last time a high idiot told me he wanted to marry me, I said, 'yes,' and I was in hell for it for years! So, yes, Izzy, I apologize if I wasn't taking you seriously all the times you've asked me about it because the idea in itself is just so freaking ridiculously stupid, I thought surely you'd have more sense than to think we could!" 

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Good!"

"Good! We aren't even friends anyway so screw you!" He throws at me. 

"wE aReN't EvEn FrIeNdS aNyWaY sO sCrEw YoU." I mimic his voice, walking around to get Monroe, who's still sleeping, out of the back. 

"Viv, get back in the car." 

"No."

"Vivian, get back in the damn car." 

"No!" 

"Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn?!" 

"The same reason you have to be so full of shit!" 

1991

"Monroe don't run!" I chase after the three year old backstage, grabbing his sides before he can get away from me. 

"Where's daddy?" He asks me with a chuckle, fingers in his mouth, his eyes switching over people passing by. 

"I don't know, baby, but we can go find him." I suggest. 

"Yeah!" He excitedly exclaims. 

"Yeah!" I reply, laughing…

"I said 'this' much cranberry and 'this' much Vodka, man!" I hear Duff complain, followed by the splattering of liquid hitting the floor. 

I turn the corner to see Duff face to face with their manager.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" Monroe kicks his legs, wrestling to get down. 

"Monroe—"

Duff looks at us, this look coming to his face. 

"H-Hey, man." He walks over to us, smiling at me. "When'd you get here?" He asks me, going to kiss my check but I lean back, wincing. 

"You smell like b-o-o-z-e, Duff." I scold him as he takes our son from me. 

"Yeah, don't worry about it." He assures me easy-goingly as Monroe hugs him tightly, grinning and laughing. 

His girlfriend...more so drug buddy, Linda, walks by and he glances at her. 

"Babe, you coming?" She asks him, raising her brows. 

He looks at Monroe, then me, then her again, before frowning slightly. 

"Go, we'll be okay for a few minutes." I insist. 

"Are you sure?" He questions.

"Duff, we just got here. You don't have to spend every second with us right away. You've got stuff to do." 

He sighs, looking at me, then Monroe again. 

"C'mon, baby, daddy's gotta get back to work." I tell Monroe and he reaches for me again. 

I take him and Duff kisses his head, and mine. 

"See ya before the show." He tells us, waving bye to Monroe. "See ya in just a few minutes, Roe." He assures him as Monroe waves back. 

I sigh, Monroe looking around again. 

"When's daddy coming back?" He asks me. 

"In just a few minutes." I assure him.

He's soon looking over my shoulder, his eyes wide and bright, a wide smile on his face as he brings his finger to his lips and goes "shh." 

Before I can turn to see who he's looking at, a sharp pinch on my ass has me snapping around, ready to throw a punch, only to be met with Izzy. 

He and Monroe laugh together at my expense and I hit Izzy in the arm. 

"Tailhole." I hiss out, watching my language and he chuckles some more. 

He looks so much healthier than he used to. 

He used to be scraggly and high looking all the time...now he's filled out a little more and his skins glowing. 

Of course that also probably has to do with him finding a girl he's full blown in love with.

"Duff leave you out here?" He asks and I shrug. 

"We just got here, he's with Linda." 

Izzy wrinkles his nose the slightest. 

"Duff's to Linda like Nikki was to Vanity." He mumbles. 

"Don't I know it." I state, knowing a crackhead girlfriend/boyfriend when I see one now that I've had experience with Nikki and Vanity, and Tansy and Sparkie. "Where is she at?" I ask once we get to his dressing room and see a picture of the Aneka girl he'd been telling me about in bits and pieces the past couple months. 

"Visiting her family." He tells me as there's a small knock at the door. 

"Yeah?!" Izzy calls and the door opens. 

"There he is!" Tansy says excitedly, Monroe laughing and showing a mouthful of teeth, getting down from me and running to her. 

"Tans!" He replies to her, just as happy to see her. 

"Oh, my goodness, you have gotten so tall since I last saw you." She tells him and he puts his bicep up and she grins, squeezing him to her. "You wanna go see uncle Axl?" 

"Yes!" 

"Is that okay? Just for a little bit." Tansy asks me and I nod.

"Yeah, that's fine." I say and she picks him up. 

"Alright, c'mon." She giggles and he waves at me. 

"See you in just a little bit." I tell him, waving. 

When she shuts the door, I fall back on the couch and groan, making Izzy raise his brows. "When we first got here, all I could hear was, 'daddy, daddy, daddy!'" I refer to Monroe and Izzy takes the cheap shot. 

"Sounds like you on a good night." He says before I can finish and I glare at him, making him laugh. 

"Sorry." He shrugs. 

"Anyway...we finally get here and all he sees is his dad throw a fit because he didn't have the perfectly formulated ratio of Vodka and cranberry juice." I state and he lets out a soft breath. "And then Nikki's drinking again, and I know he's drinking again because he calls me in the middle of the night, drunk, to complain about his wife--which I told him not to marry her because he barely had time to really get to know her but nope. Nobody ever listens to Viv. And Tansy said that tweedle-Duff and tweedle-Slash wake up and start their morning with alcohol, which is comforting...I've been talking to Steven's mom a lot and she said he's been going down hill again after he tried to sober up some…"

"Yeah, I heard." He rubs the back of his neck. 

"Axl's keeping Tansy from seeing anybody, he won't even let her call to check up on Steven right now. He thinks it'll trigger her to go off the deep end and get back on smack." I add. "Everything is just a shitshow at this point." 

"Yeah…" he mumbles, before a long pause sits between us, and he finally clears his throat and sighs. "Um, I need to tell you something that I haven't told any of the guys yet, and I don't know how you'll feel but just know I've thought about it a lot and think I should do it." 

"Izzy, I don't care if you're gay." I tell him and he sighs, giving a little smile…

"This is pretty serious." He says and I furrow my brows a little. "I want outta the band, Viv." 

I feel a punch in my stomach. 

First Steven, now Izzy...this is not how this was supposed to go…

"W-What?" 

"Izzy, c'mon!" Their manager calls. "You're on soon!" 

"We'll talk about it later, alright?" He says and I'm at a loss for words.

"Izzy," 

"It'll be alright, we'll talk about it." He assures me before stepping out.

Later that night, after Axl finally got on stage and the show was barely completed, Izzy and I split a room, Monroe and I taking a bed while Izzy takes the other. 

Once Monroe is tucked into bed after passing out on the way to the hotel, I sit and wait for Izzy to get out of the shower and end up dozing next to Monroe.

I slowly blink awake when I feel fingertips tapping at my forehead, and Izzy's crouched down by the bed beside me...a little smile on his lips. 

"Hey," he chuckles. 

"Hey." I say back, blinking once more…

"It's not about the music anymore, Viv. The egos and drugs and booze and pussy--it's all coming first. I'm tired of having a show at 8:00pm and not getting onstage 'til 11:45pm, and only staying on stage until 12:30am before Axl gets breathed on the wrong way and storms off." He says softly not to wake Monroe up. "And it didn't help when my royalties were in talks of getting cut...and then when Ax is constantly coming up with lawsuits or contracts or NDA's, it's bullshit. It started out as five of us against them. Now Steven's gone, Axl's God and Slash, Matt and Duff are killing themselves. I just want out." 

"You're breaking my heart, Izzy, you know that?"  I sniffle tiredly, trying not to cry. 

"I promise I'll be okay. This isn't gonna spring me into a relapse or anything." He assures me.

"I'm sorry for all of this happening." I admit and he shakes his head. 

"Nah...it doesn't have anything to do with you. Me and the guys just have our own things going and it's just time for me to go my own way." 

I just sniffle again, wiping a stray tear, and nod. 

"And we'll still stay in touch and stuff." He adds. "You'll still see me around."

"Promise?" I ask. 

"How else are we gonna keep tabs on each other to see if we gotta go through with our plan at forty-something." He shrugs. 

"Oh, please, you'll still be with Aneka and won't even be bothered with me." I tell him and he shakes his head a little. 

"Viv, I harassed you for nearly three years to marry me--even thought I didn't even fucking like the idea of marriage. If I went through that much trouble, I'm not gonna up and leave and only talk to you every blue moon." 

I smile a little, rubbing my lips together before saying, "does this mean you're finally acknowledging that we are, indeed, friends?"

He rolls his eyes and stands back up. 

"I didn't say that." He tells me and I chuckle. "G'night, Viv." 

"Goodnight." 

[dontreadthistrashgarbage]

G O T 7 PT.12

Guerin trotted up to JB's studio door with Eneoji and entered the code he had sent her. JB looked up as she came in, "Jagi, I wasn't expecting you so soon."

"I found a taxi that would take Eneoji, so I didn't need to drop her at home first." She gave him a kiss in greeting and detached the leash. JB grinned as Eneoji wiggled up to him and gave her an affectionate face squish and kiss on the nose before petting her. Guerin's heart swelled as she watched their interaction, settling into the chair next to JB at his desk. Once their greeting was finished Eneoji occupied herself by sniffing around the unfamiliar room and JB swiveled around back to the computer, with a glance at Guerin.

"Are you nervous?" He asked raising his brows over a crooked smile.

Guerin rubbed her knees and laughed almost shyly at his callout, "Yeah I think a little, but I'm also excited."

"Let's watch it then." He pulled up the email that showed two private links, one labeled as the music video and the other just said "watch after".

"What's that?" Guerin asked, pointing at the mysterious message.

"I don't know yet. I guess we'll find out after." JB shrugged and clicked the first link. Maximizing the video he sat back and took Guerin's hand to watch. It followed the storyline they had filmed; meeting, dating, the jealousy and the makeup, all interspersed with Mihi flying or the two of them playing with her. Once it was over Guerin clapped.

"Wow, BamBam did really amazing! Isn't he in the restaurant business? How is he so good?" She gushed.

"He pretty much hired people to run stuff for him, he does video editing as a part time hobby." JB grinned at her reaction, "That turned out better than I thought. His changes were good. You did great too, you looked amazing."

"I mean yeah compared to now." She joked about her post-workout appearance.

"I like you like this too." He took her hand again and met her gaze.

It was too intense for Guerin and she gave a crooked smile before changing the subject, "Let's check out that second link." She suggested suddenly.

JB stares at her for a moment with knowing smile before allowing himself to be distracted. Clicking on the mysterious link brought up another video.

"Behind the scenes?" Guerin read outloud curiously, exchanging a glance with JB before they refocused on the screen. The first few seconds were of Guerin talking, explaining to BamBam the concept of Free Flight. Her words continued as the screen flashed through different scenes of them filming, making mistakes and laughing, JB teasing Guerin and making goofy expressions.

"I had no idea he was recording." Guerin covered her mouth, embarrassed.

Back on the screen was a goofy dance off Guerin had started with Yugyeom before she tagged in JB as she was clearly in over her head. The scenes of Guerin laughing at her phone while JB teased her. The mood subtly changed. The smiles they shared with each other became softer, the reactions as they separated filming scenes they physically touched became shy, sweet even. JB's voice replaced Guerins.

"We're always learning. If we aren't open for improvement we become stagnant. People in our loves either feed that growth or they starve it." The scene changed to the actual moment JB was talking. He wasn't looking at the camera, but behind it, most likely at BamBam. Guerin glanced at JB who looked surprised and a bit anxious.

In the video Guerin was in the background playing with Mihi and JB glanced back at her with a small smile. He didn't say anything for a moment and the scene changed to an outtake from them goofing off when JB's voice cut in again, "I feel like every time we're together we learn something. So it's pretty easy to pretend I'm falling in love with someone I'm actually falling in love with." The scene changed back to a shyly smiling JB before he looked seriously at BamBam, "Don't tell her I said that."

The video wrapped up with a few more outtakes but the two sat someone shocked in silence as the video wrapped up. Guerin was positive she could hear BamBam cackling as he put together this extra content. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest, it was such a cheesy line but it was so cute and delivered in such a heartfelt way she could feel herself weakening.

"You didn't want me to hear that?"

"No..." JB said, covering his face, "I'm gonna kill him."

"Technically he didn't tell me." Guerin said unhelpfully trying not to smile. JB leaned back sucking in air through his teeth.

"Hey come on. It's not that bad. It's a teensy bit tacky but actually really sweet and moving." Guerin reached for him, patting his shoulder reassuringly as JB groaned.

"He already sent this to JYPE. We can stop it from getting approved and posted since it hasn't dropped yet." JB said, dropping his head to the side to look at Guerin.

"I dunno. It's actually kinda cute. Maybe people will find it endearing." Guerin shrugged, "If you think it's a problem then stop it, but if I was a fan this kind of stuff would get me super excited."

JB looked nonplussed, so Guerin stood and moved his beanie to kiss his forehead, "Babe you do what you want with it. I'll leave you to your work. I've got a meeting with Jisoo and training with HEET this afternoon so I've got to head out."

As she moved away JB took her wrist and tugged gently. She looked down at his pout and he tapped his lips. Failing to hold in a smile she bent down and kissed him sweetly.

"I got you, Jinri!" JB scooped up the toddler and spun her around as she squealed in joy. He playfully tossed her up, making her scream happily.

"Careful, sweetie." Guerin couldn't help but feel cautious, even if she could see the little girl loved the game.

"She likes it!" JB said, but he obliged her and instead sat on the floor with Jinri and made silly faces with her.

"He is so amazing with her." Charlie sat down cross legged next to Guerin, "It must make you feel all soft." She knew her friend well.

Guerin looked down and smiled. Seeing JB with animals and with children was an extreme soft spot of hers. It had been over a year since the tour with HEET and they were already preparing for another one.

"It definitely makes it harder to go." Guerin admitted, "But work is work. And I do like working with HEET. They're like my sons, I'm so proud of all of them."

"Seungbin has gotten so big! I remember when he was just a baby. He's turning into quite the handsome man." Charlie gushed fondly.

"Why are you talking about another man like that?" Jinyoung fake pouted, joining the two women on the floor. He had just returned from his trip to the store to join the conversation.

"Are you actually pretending to be jealous of a seventeen year old?" Guerin teased.

"I don't want Charlie to see anyone but me." Jinyoung made no effort to hide his smile as he pulled his wife toward him and kissed her head.

Jinri pulled away from JB and headed toward the trio. He called after her and collapsed on the floor from her rejection as Jinri left him. Guerin couldn't help but laugh at the exaggerated expression of hurt on his face. Jinri climbed into Jinyoung's lap and gazed at him lovingly, "Appa." She seemed excited to see her dad. Jinyoung's face hid none of his joy as he immediately cuddled his daughter close, he didn't need words to express his obvious adoration as he cooed at her lovingly while she giggled when he smothered her face with kisses.

"This is so cute I might vomit." Guerin gushed.

"Imagine how I feel." Charlie might as well have actual heart eyes as she watched the two of the interact.

JB sat down next to Guerin, putting his arm around her shoulder and watching his dongsaeng with a jealous expression, "When do we get one of those?" He asked with a pout.

Guerin's eyes widened as she swung to look at him, "Excuse me?" She was surprised into english. Fortunately his biligunal abilities had expanded enough that he understood her shock.

"She's so cute." He pulled Guerin close, staring at Jingyoung's now smug expression with a covetous look of his own, "Let's get one."

"Yeah let's just adopt one right now." Guerin rolled her eyes, trying to cover the palpitations of her heart.

"If you think adoption is faster, let's do it." He responded.

"Don't you think you're missing a step?" Charlie raised an eyebrow at the petulant man and the flabbergasted woman in his arms.

"Well we obviously are going to get married." JB shrugged, "And I'll buy a house for us."

"Okay wait hold up. This is a whole conversation I'd like to be a part of? There's a lot of decisions being made without me despite me being a key player." Guerin said, flustered.

"You don't want kids with me?" JB asked, looking surprised.

"I didn't say that I just... timing and... ability and space... and... JB THIS IS NOT THE PLACE." She protested finally, covering her face.

JB laughed, "Okay, we'll work out the details later." He said as he kissed her temple.

Jinyoung looked at Charlie with a raised brow, "What just happened?"

"Pretty sure they just got engaged and pregnant." Charlie said, holding her arms open for her daughter, who eagerly jumped to her mom.

"Shut up." Guerin said in a muffled voice from behind her hands, a rare blush reddening what little of her face was visible. She peaked up at JB who shrugged.

"It sounds like a plan to me." He said.

"This is the weirdest engagement ever." Jinyoung said.

"It suits them." Charlie said matter of factly about her two friends.

END

[thetwistedrope]

Hey if you're around and not busy and stuff, can I ask for you to weigh in on a thing? Someone named xoxogarnet is kicking up a fuss in the spirit companions tag about how "relationships" with spirits are fake and impossible and letting newbies think that they aren't is dangerous. And you've always got such well-thought-out opinions, as well as this being an area of expertise for you, I think you would be a good influence on the conversation.

First I want to say thank you for asking me this off of anon. Since most folks ask for input while on anon (which I will no longer oblige 9 times out of 10, just fyi for those reading.) So thank you for that.

I’ve flipped through the thread, and it definitely is a dumpster fire from start to finish. For those who don’t feel like looking at the original, here are some choice bits…

Dating Spirits, is NOT a thing. You are not dating a God, you are not in a committed relationship with an angel or demon, or anything that falls under the spirit/entity category. You aren’t creating “children” either, just thought forms/tulpas/entities that may or may not develop free will.

THIS IS NOT HEALTHY. This is TOXIC and everyone who is doing this is either being taken advantage of by something darker or are willfully misinforming other witchlings of how to abuse Spirit Work!

I have seen my fair share of ridiculous claims in the magical community but to all the witchlings and Spirit Worker’s new and experienced, THIS IS BUNK. Its not what Spirit Work and Companionship is about.

and

Seeing run of the mill entities in ‘relationships’ with people is alarming as well because I fail to see how it takes the place of a living person. The human body craves touch and I don’t mean just 'sex’ and other sexual activities, I mean hugs, hand holding, pats on the back, kisses, snuggling, tummy rubs, etc! You simply can’t have that with an entity not on this plane! Its why I keep saying this  is so unhealthy, because it IS.  You can’t start your life with a Spirit, a spirit can’t take you to dinner or drive you to the doctor when you’re sick, or push you on the swings at the park. No matter how you slice it, a 'relationship’ with a spirit is just an affectionate friends with benefits type of deal, it doesn’t fix or replace the need for a real living partner. 

and

These kind of unhealthy emotional attachments just helps people and spirits take advantage of casters who don’t know any better and I was noticing that the vast majority of people doing this are brand new or a few years in and this is not helping these new witchlings experiment with their Craft, SAFELY. 

And i know that you had asked me to weigh in on the conversation, but I’m of the mindset that OP will likely not be persuaded into any sort of other thinking. Given that the thread has over 100 notes as of right now, I don’t expect that they’d be willing to listen to anything I say.

However, for those who are interest in spirit work and/or spirit relationships, I can say this much:

OP is not wrong in that it’s not something that everyone has to do. It’s also not something you should just run into without thinking it through and quadruple testing your discernment. I understand their concern, as it is a good way to wreck your life if you’re not careful.

However, OP is assuming a fuckload about what people in these relationships think and how they advise people who are interested in non-corp relationships. And I think they’re throwing the baby out with the bathwater in a lot of their responses. Assuming a lot, and bordering on ableism in some of their responses (or more accurately, who they’re agreeing with in the responses.)

I think anyone who is in a non-corp relationship knows that it’s not easy, that its not always fun, that these entities are not around to help you with things. That you can still get lonely because a spirit is not a physical being. that doesn’t invalidate the relationship, though. Nor does it mean that non-corp relationships can’t add to someone’s life.

I have been in a physical relationship with someone for about ten years now, and I never set out to get a man harem, but let me tell you, my menz add to my life in a way that my physical SO can’t. Similarly, my SO adds to my life in a way that my non-physical menz can’t. My non-physical family enriches my life in many ways and anyone who says otherwise can Fight Me.

I guess the overall takeaway is that OP’s posts are filled with “been there, done that, stfu” because nothing they’ve said is not anything I haven’t heard before. All of their crying and whinging and pearl wringing is old news that won’t stop ppl from forming these relationships, nor is anything they’ve said going to prepare someone for being responsible and informed about any sort of relationships they form. Its all of the most frustrating elements of these conversations rolled into one thread.

TL;DR: I’m sorry that people assume so much about consorts and spouses and that everyone has to put up with this fuckery on the regular. You keep doing you and just be sure to be smart and responsible about how you form these relationships and everyone can take a long walk off a short pier

*rolls away*

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering how do you handle an adult life? I'm 17 and the fact that I'm going to be an adult is starting to panic me more and more. Like I CANT talk to adults. I stutter&I'm a mess. I'm even bad with my peers. Some advice on how you do it would be nice. I try to ask my parents, but they aren't very helpful and seem ready to drop me into the deep end to "teach me" a lesson about being an adult. (Sorry again about non blog related question. No obligations to answer)

Oh boy, I’m gonna do my best to answer this, but full disclosure? I’m pretty bad at being social. I have some issues, and talking to people is really hard for me. That might be helpful in this context if you’re coming from a similar situation, but I don’t know if that’s the case, so it’s possible that my stuff won’t work for you. I’ll give it a whirl anyway.

I actually was thrown into the deep end when I was about your age, because I ended up going to college in a state where I pretty literally didn’t know a single person. I don’t know if that was a positive thing or not, but I can definitely say that I’ve gotten significantly better about talking/adulting since then. I’m still terrified of everyone older than me, but I can fake my way through the majority of it now. 

For me, the biggest step was increasing my self-esteem. When I started living on my own in ‘14, my goal was basically to be invisible (a skill that I mastered a looooong time ago). I have this thing about people looking at me, so I didn’t like any kind of attention. It definitely affected the way I talked to people (I didn’t) and the way I acted.

That shifted after I discovered a couple of things

1) some attention is positive, and positive attention feels good

2) I’m imagining a lot of the judgement I feel from other people

The truth is, people don’t pay as much attention to you as you think that they do. We’re all trapped inside our own heads, right? My frame of reference puts the majority of emphasis on me, because that’s the only person I can hear and the only emotions I can feel. The same is true about you– you hear your thoughts and feel your feelings, so it seems like everybody else should be focussed on you.

That’s your mind playing tricks. Don’t believe it. Everybody else is focussed on themselves, not you, and that’s a good thing! They’re not actually looking at you. They’re just looking around. As soon as y’all walk away from each other, odds are you’ll disappear from their mind. It means that you don’t have to worry about doing everything perfectly. They don’t actually care. 

Repeat that to yourself whenever you feel like you’re doing badly. It doesn’t matter. They don’t care. They’re not that concerned about the things that you do.

Two tactics for increasing your self esteem:

Find something you’re good at and do it. A lot. I started writing fanfiction when I was 18, and it straight-up changed my life. I’d never had that level of positive reinforcement before– for the first time in my life, I felt better than mediocre, and it made me proud of my own skills. Once I knew I was good at something it became a lot easier to talk to people.

(This is where you need to bear in mind that I’m not what the kids call “mentally stable” so like…. this might not be healthy) For a solid two years, I played this mind game where whenever I felt like somebody was judging me or being unkind to me, I picked one of my more angry favorite fictional characters and imagined them yelling back at that person. It worked really well for me because it let me fight back without actually doing it myself. I don’t really get angry, so I imagined someone getting angry on my behalf. Thing is, after awhile I really could think things like “I don’t deserve this” and “hey asshole back the hell off” in my own voice. I don’t know if I can explain that any better

Practical tips for maintaining a conversation:

Ask questions. It’s a lot easier to have a conversation if they’re doing most of the talking, and they won’t think it’s weird if you seem interested. Just keep them talking by asking for more information about whatever they just said.

They’ll get more comfortable (and more talkative) the more emotion you express. Listen actively. Nod along. Say stuff like “Really??” Your eyebrows are your friends. React to the stuff they say.

If you don’t know what emotion you’re expected to express, draw your eyebrows slightly in, rest a hand on your mouth/chin, and say “interesting.” They’ll interpret that as whatever response they were expecting.

 I feel more comfortable if I’m prepared, so I straight-up have memorized anecdotes that I practice until they go smoothly. I mostly use stories about my siblings, but I also have this speech about communism that I use every time someone asks me what I’m thinking about.

I don’t know what kind of English you speak, but I realized a long time ago that if I amp up my accent, other southerners trust me more and everyone else sees me as less threatening. If that applies, use it.

Don’t be ashamed of your interests. It might seem embarrassing, but other people don’t see it that way. Niche comic book knowledge actually goes over pretty well at parties. Related tip: find The Interest of the person you’re talking to, and your life will get a lot easier. Let them teach you about it and they literally will not shut up. It’s great. Also you get good recs that way.

Tips to get people to like you:

Be helpful. Good in two ways: if you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing and that makes you feel anxious, ask whomever is in charge if there’s something you can do to help. They’ll be charmed, and you won’t feel awkward anymore. Also good because people really like the folks that do them favors. They also like the people they did favors for, so let people do things for you if they offer.

Everybody likes the kid that brought food. Bake cookies. Bring cookies. New friends. Even if you don’t talk to them afterwards, they’ll have a positive opinion of you. I never spoke to the majority of my dorm neighbors, but they all liked me because I set candy and juice boxes in the hallway every holiday. In a classroom setting, offer to share your gum, buy extra scantrons, and lend people your pens. 

I befriend people solely by throwing gifts at them until they feel my love. Ask any of my mutuals. They’ll tell you.

Kindness honestly goes a long way? A lot of people, especially young people, really need someone to be kind to them, and they’re not used to getting that. If you can be that person, it’ll help them and it will make the two of you a lot closer. That’s how real friendships start. 

Always be respectful of other people’s trust. If they tell you important things about themselves, treat it seriously. Try to understand how they feel, and then let them know that you understand. Don’t tell other people’s secrets.

Tips for forcing yourself to Do The Thing:

I keep my to do list on post-it notes stuck to my dresser, one item per note, so I can pull them off one at a time as I do them. It’s more satisfying that way.

Personally I’m a lot more willing to do the things I hate if I feel like I’m doing them for someone else. Easiest way is to get one of my friends to ask me to do it (Hey in an hour text me and tell me to go to the grocery store). The best way is to bargain with one of my friends (if you call your doctor, I’ll make a real dinner tonight)

Again… I don’t know if you’re coming from the same place as me, but it really helps me to be open about my problems. I just tell my friends about my mental health issues, and then they help me to work around them.

Treat!!! Yo!!!! Self!!!! Seriously reward yourself for getting things done. Give yourself an episode of The Office for every page you write. Buy yourself ice cream for getting your errands done. If you’re going to do something stressful, have a plan for something relaxing afterward (I’ll go to the induction ceremony, and then I’ll go to the puppy store and pet a beagle)

[Eliza voice] 🎶 T a k e  a  b r e a k 🎶 If socializing is hard for you, realize that you don’t have to do it all the time. It’s okay to opt out, especially when you won’t lose anything by doing it. Personally, I go out of my way to make sure that no one speaks to me on the bus, walking across campus, or during lunch. Those are me-times. You can make sure people get the memo by wearing big headphones, bringing a book (even if you’re only pretending to read it), and avoiding eye contact. 

I find music really helpful for prep/recovery too. It works best if you find one song and play it on repeat until you get to the stressful thing, and  then do the same thing on the way back. Focus on one element of the song at a time. If you do it right, you can hit this meditative sweet spot where you stop thinking about what you have to do.

Stress relief (take it with a grain of salt because I am 95% stress at any given time):

Make your bedroom into a happy place. Pick a strong scent and make that part of the atmosphere– your brain will start to associate that scent with calm. My room smells like Irish Spring soap. When you finish something stressful, go to your room, take a few minutes to lie down and relax, breathe in and out, smell the happy smell. You did it.

Do stupid shit that makes you happy. Blow bubbles on your porch, put colored glassware on your windowsills so the sunlight turns red and blue, sing in your bathroom so it echoes all over the place. 

I hate admitting this with every fiber of my being, but exercise does actually reduce stress. So does eating healthy and sleeping normally, but I’ve never tried those last two.

If something makes you happy, keep it around. Save birthday cards, display presents from your friends, keep a happy tag online so you have a list of stuff to come back to. Your brain will remember the positive reaction, so it’ll undo some of the damage when you’re upset. 

Making other people happy will make you happy. Easiest method? Hit that anon button on the asks, pick the top five people on your dashboard, send them a nice message. Wait for excited response

It’s okay to google “cute babies” and scroll through pics until you feel alive again

I find it helpful to make things. I don’t know, there’s something about spending a long time on a project that makes me feel more productive, especially if there’s a visible product.

Things to remember: 

They aren’t watching you. They don’t care if you mess up. Your brain is lying to you.

Your worth is inherent and cannot be diminished by any of your actions or failures

Odds are the people you meet now won’t be the same people in your life in a few years. That means you don’t have to impress them. If you embarrass yourself in front of the lady at the brochure stand, it doesn’t matter. You probably won’t ever see her again.

It’s okay if this is hard for you. You don’t have to love meeting people.

You don’t have to like everyone. You don’t have to be friends with everyone.

It’s okay to say no. I repeat: it is okay to say no.

You’re going to be okay. You have a destiny, and you will fulfill it. It’s going to turn out exactly as it should. You don’t have to worry about your future.

These things get easier with time.

There’s no shame in seeing a therapist or talking about your problems

You have talents. You are interesting. You deserve attention and praise.

You know where to find me if you need anything

[pixie88]

The Gala

Chapter 2 - Our Little Secret.

A/N: Queen B fanfiction. Let me know if you would like to be tagged!

Find previous chapters HERE under Queen B - Our Little Secret.

Word count: 2165

WARNINGS:  ⚠️ Some adult language and NSFW

Disclaimer: Characters are property of Pixelberry.

Pairings: Ian x MC - Lyla.

Enjoy!

I can feel my face getting hot with anger. "Lyla, don't worry I have the perfect outfit! I brought it for myself, but it didn't suit me" She pulls out a red dress with a plunging neckline. "Zo, this is gorgeous are you sure?" she smiles "Of course, Lyla" "Thank you, Zoey! What would I do without you?" "Not dress half as well as you do?" she laughs.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I roll over reaching for my phone to turn off my alarm and I realize it's the day of the Gala.  I jump out of bed and into the shower.

Later me and Zoey are getting ready for the Gala, I decide on an updo, I'm just finishing up my make up when Gizmo jumps on /my lap. "Hey buddy, I wish I could take you tonight but I don't think dogs are allowed sorry" Zoey walks into my room.

"Ready?" "Yes!" I put Gizmo on the floor. "See you later boy!" I follow Zoey out to the limo as soon as we get in she opens the champagne and pours us both a glass. "To my girl winning the person to watch award!" we clink glasses.

We pull up outside the Gala to flashing cameras, we step out blinded "Come on, Lyla strike a pose!" I let them take a few photos before heading inside.

I spot Penelope and Taylor talking "Hey Lyla, Are you ready to dethrone Poppy?" Taylor asks I smile at her "Born ready!" "I can't wait to see the look on her face!" Penelope says.

I laugh the music starts Taylor wonders over to Benedict, they make their way to the dance floor "Aren't they cute" Penelope says "Yeah adorable!" "Penelope, would you like to dance?" Michael asks as he appears in front of us. She drags him to the dance floor, then I feel a presence behind me and I turn to find Ian inches away from me.

He smiles "Lyla, may I have this dance?" "Professor, I would love to but what would people say?" "To be honest, I don't care!" Wow, he's truly broken the barrier he put up between us. "Well in that case, I would love to" He takes my hand and leads me to the dance floor.

I can see Poppy eyeing us up, but I don't care she has no proof. He places a hand on my lower back and his other hand takes mine, and we start to sway. He smiles at me "Lyla, you look stunning tonight!" I smile "Thank you, Ian. Well, we are paying compliments to each other I guess now is the perfect time to tell you that you look hot in that suit! It makes me want to rip off your clothes right here." His eyes darken.

"Lyla, you shouldn't say stuff like that!" I laugh, "Why? It's so much fun!" his lips brush my ear "As fun as me telling you that I want to take you back to my office and have a replay of yesterday?" I swallow hard (Ok, it's definitely not fun to tease!) "Well, I'd like nothing more Professor!" I wink.

The music changes to something more upbeat. Ian spins me, takes both my hands and moves us to the beat. "Wow, I didn't know you had moves like this, Ian!" he laughs a laugh, I've never heard before, "Neither did I," He spins me again but back into him, he holds me tightly against him and I feel his chest on my back.

I feel his breath on my neck close to my ear "Lyla, I know your going to win tonight and there is something I need to tell you" "What is it?" "Lyla, I....." the music stops and Dean Steinhelm comes over the speaker. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you can please take your seats we will announce the  winner of the Person to watch award!" I turn in his arms.

"Ian, what were you going to say?" he gives me a weak smile "Another time, Lyla. We better go back to our seats" "Ok, thanks for the dance Ian" he nods.

We make our way back to our seat before the dean speaks again. "There are so many talented young people here tonight. Each shine in their own light! It gives me great pleasure to announce the person to watch award goes to...............Ms. Lyla Hughes!" "Oh my god, Lyla Well done!" Zoey tells me.

I stand and make my way to the front while everyone is clapping. Dean Steinhelm welcomes me onto the stage, once I get to her, she smiles and congratulates me before handing the award and gestures me to make a speech.

I'm so nervous I kinda fumble my speech, but I thank who I need to. I make my way off the stage when I catch his eyes from across the room, he smiles and winks then makes his way towards the exit. The music starts up again everyone makes their way back onto the dance floor.

I look around the room no one is looking in my direction, I head for the door I saw Ian leave through. I walk through and see Ian waiting for me, he smiles "Congratulations, Lyla!" "Thanks, Ian!" I walk towards him and he cups my face.

"Are you going to congratulate me in another way?" His eyes widen and he swallows hard. "Yes, but not here," he takes my hand, and we make our way to the car park where Ian's car is parked.

20 Minutes later we pull up outside an apartment building, we get out, "Ian, where are we?" He smiles "My place" "Oh, you've never brought me here before," he takes my hand again. "I know, but I wanted to take you somewhere we wouldn't be interrupted" he leads me into the building, and we take the elevator.

It opens on the 3rd floor, we walk down the hall and get to a door when he pulls out his keys and unlocks the door. We step inside the apartment it is very Ian! I follow him into the living room, he grabs a bottle and 2 glasses from his mini bar in the corner, and we both take a seat on the couch.

He opens the bottle, pours us both a glass and hands me one. "Cheers, to you Lyla. The person to watch!" I smile at him and his eyes sparkle in the light. "Thank you again, Ian. Also, what was it you were going to tell me another time earlier?" he's gone shy.

His tongue parts my lips and swirls with mine "Hmmm Ian!" his hand cups my breast he squeezes lightly. Mine reach for the buttons on his suit jacket and begin to undo them. His hand move towards my back, I can feel him searching then he finds his goal and pulls down the zipper on my dress.

"Ian, what's wrong?" he smiles "Nothing, quite the opposite" he takes a sip of his wine before turning back to me, he takes a deep breath "Lyla, I love you" (OH MY GOD! Did he just...wow) "Ian, I....I love you too!" his face lights up before I know it his hand is tangled in my hair and his lips are on mine.

His lips never leave mine as I feel him pull the straps down off my shoulder. "Lyla, I've wanted to get you by yourself all evening!" he whispers against my lips. I smile "Why is that, Ian?" in one swift movement he picks me up into a bridal carry and starts walking towards what I guess is the bedroom.

He kicks open the door, I can't help giggle "Ian!!" he puts me down, and we stand next to the bed. He pulls down the rest of my dress, it falls to the floor I'm standing there in just my underwear he pulls me to him and I unbutton his shirt as his lips begin to caress my neck and I let my head fall back giving him more access.

His hands begin to explore my body starting with my breast, he pinches my hardened nipple I moan. I finally pull off his shirt, I run my hands over arms, his chest and down to his abs, my hand brushes against his hard member in his trousers.

I feel him nip my ear"Lyla, get on the bed"  I do as I'm told, he takes off my killer heels then walks over to a draw opens it and pulls out a tie. "What are you planning on doing with that, Professor?" he walks over to the bed with a mischievous grin he climbs on to it, he hovers over me and his hand wraps around me helping me further up the bed.

He takes both my wrists and places the above my head, then begins to restrain me with his tie and ties me to the bed frame. "Is this how you want me? At your mercy?" his eyes light up and his lips met mine, he pulls away a little trapping my lip between his teeth before letting go. He whispers against my ear "Yes, I want to tease you until you can't take anymore. Just like you have been doing to me since we met!" his words give me flutters.

He kisses my neck again trailing down to my breast, he takes my nipple into his mouth and flicks his tongue over it"Ohhh...wow!" he moves again nipping my tummy as he heads south, he trails kisses to the inside of my thigh.

He pulls my underwear aside, I'm anticipating his next move, but he lets go and continues kissing down my leg "Argh! Ian that is teasing!" I hear a small laugh,"I know, Lyla!" he moves back up my leg I expect him to move pass my centre to meet my lips, but suddenly I feel him moving my underwear again and I feel his tongue laps my centre "God, yes just like that! Fuck Ian!"  his tongue slips inside me.

He stops "What? No, don't stop!"  I look down, he grins at me then his hands pull down my underwear, and he tosses them to the side. He brings my legs up and his head dives between them again, this time he's more urgent which makes me arch off the bed. He hits the right spot I don't think I can hold on any longer.

"Ian...YES!" I fall over the edge he comes up and places himself between my legs. I try to touch him, but I'm still tied up, he looks down at me with a smirk "Sorry, that isn't coming off just yet!"  I huff when he starts to grind against me (I need friction, I need him inside me) "Ian..I need you" he's still smirking.

His lips meet mine, he kisses me passionately as he grinds against me harder. I can feel him through his trouser, I want him now and I know he wants me to. It isn't long before he pulls off his trousers and boxers.

He brushes against my centre then his length enters me slowly to start with then his pace becomes urgent "God, Lyla!" "Ohhh harder, Ian!" his thrusts speed up, he grabs the headboard which makes him go deeper and I wrap my legs round him. I buck my hips up to match his rhythm, but our moans are muffled by our kiss.

His thrust becomes so rough the bed moves and hits the wall, Ian pulls away and smirks "Good job my neighbors are away!" "So, we can be as loud as we like huh?"  he smiles then while he's still thrusting into me, he unties me and flips me.

He pulls me onto my knees, spreads my legs a little, then enters me from behind as his hand makes it's way to the front of me, and he circles my button. With each thrust he goes deeper "Ian, I'm goi.....Ohhhh YES!!" I'm spent and Ian isn't far behind "Fuck...LYLA!" we collapse onto the bed next to each other.

He rolls onto his side and strokes my face "I love you, Lyla" I smile, "I love you too, Ian Kingsley!" he pulls me on top of him and kisses me. I can feel him stiffen against me, I start to grind against it, he pulls away "Round 2?" I smile before leaning in to kiss him again.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzzzzzzzt!

The sun beams through the window I feel Ian's arm wrapped around me. Then I hear it again.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzt Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt!

I nudge Ian "Ian, I think someone is at the door," he stirs and looks at the time it 10.06am. He gets off the bed and puts on his boxers. "Lyla, stay here," he leaves the room and I hear the front door open. I know that voice what is she doing here! I hear Ian asking her the same question "Lexi, why are you doing here?"

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 3.