#I really hope this is satisfactory I thought it suited the themes of adventure

[theshippingcorner]

oh sorry!! if you've seen her, Khayla would be nice!

Oh man I had to look up who you meant, I know her just didn't know her name! She's an obscure Khajiit for sure but I can def do that! Given the Themes of Skyrim I'm going to make you readers the Dragonborn for this since there wasn't anything to suggest anything else <3

You'd met Khayla several times on your travels, and spoken to her just about every time you came by the Caravans to buy something...it was awfully unfair, that Khajiit weren't allowed into the cities, but then people couldn't Deny the Dragonborn the right to bring whoever they pleased into the city right? It started as just a single night in Markarth, a nice Date at The Silver-Blood Inn with the caravan Guard, but after that night you'd both gotten quite attached and with some permission from Ri'saad and the arrangements to hire a new guard...well Khayla came along with you!

Adventuring together, showing the lovely Khajiit the sights she hadn't been allowed to see from outside the walls of the cities...it was a break, a nice change of pace from playing the hero. You showed her the Blue Palace in Solitude, took her to Falkreath to see the beautiful forests, spent time at Dragon Bridge looking over the impressive architecture...and eventually you ended up in Riften! You split from Kayla for a short time, allowing her to look around Riften, see the sights, and enjoy the flowers.

You yourself though...you stopped by the temple of Mara! You'd already done every task you'd been asked to do, of course you had, it was just a matter of sitting down and speaking with Dinya who of course was surprised to see the Dragonborn back in the temple after so long.

"It pleases me to see you again Dragonborn, what brings you to the Temple of Mara? You seem Troubled."

You hesitated but gave the Dunmer a weary smile, of course a Priestess would be able to tell.

"I've been traveling with a Khajiit I met at one of the Caravans, she's lovely and strong, and I'm sure she must like me."

The Dunmer smiled warmly and put a hand on your shoulder, nodding

"Then what is the problem? If you love her and you've come here what would stop you from asking her to marry you?"

You sat back a moment to really think, well a lot of things.

"I'm the Dragonborn, things can get dangerous on my adventures and she's seen that. I know she's more than capable of understanding and handling herself but what happens when we have a family and she has to watch over them? What happens when I don't return from a trip or-"

The Dunmer softly tutted at you and directed your attention to the statue of Mara, smiling.

"You say these things as if you haven't seen for yourself how strong the power of love is, Dragonborn. You reunited lost spirits in the name of Mara and yet you worry that you would not find her again in Sovengarde? Trust your heart and do what you think is best, I know you will always make the right choice."

She rose from her spot beside you and stepped away to tend to the temple leaving you with your thoughts, she was right though...you knew the power of Mara and of love. There was a reason why the temple of Mara was where so many came to be wed.

Content with your thoughts and the answers you had come to find, you stood and left the temple, smiling softly at Khayla who was in the market admiring the wares at Madesis stall. She always had a sparkle in her eye seeing new things and speaking with new people, her tail swaying as she held a lovely silver sapphire ring in her hands. You headed over happily, looking over her shoulder at the Argonian contently.

"How many Septims for the ring~?"

Khalyas ears flicked rapidly as she perked up, looking at you quickly

"Oh! You do not need to buy the Ring my love it is quite alright~"

The way she purred as she smiled at you melted your heart as you kissed her on the head softly, laughing a bit.

"Nonsense, you like the ring don't you? Besides you deserve to be spoilt...speaking of which we can head to Solitude again soon yeah~?"

She nodded softly, happily staying by your side as you paid Madesi for the ring, spending at least a bit more time with Khayla in Riften before taking to the road again with her, fiddling with the amulet of Mara you had when she wasn't quite looking...

As you walked she talked about back home in Elsweyr, and her travels with the Caravans...the admiration in her voice when she spoke of home was how you hoped she would speak of your adventures together over the past couple of years to your children should she accept you.

Eventually when you finally did make your way back to Solitude, you made sure to take her to Radiant Rainments, despite the rude staff it was hard to deny the fact they made brilliant clothes. You had the septims to afford it anyhow, so you made sure you got a nice outfit for yourself and for Kaylah to wear while you took her around the City once more.

After some time though as the sun began to set and the moons rose into the sky she hugged your arm with a soft hum, looking up at the stars.

"Could I ask why you've brought Khayla to Solitude once more, my love~?"

You chuckled softly and pet her, it felt like as good a time as any so you took the time to fish out the Amulet of Mara you'd put on from underneath your clothes, showing it to her softly with a nervous hum,

"I'd been wanting to find the right time to ask you, I was worried about leaving you alone with all the danger I'm always in but I know even if fate takes me from you I will always find you again..."

She was surprised to see the Amulet but the sound of her deafening purrs gave you more an enough of an answer as she threw her arms around you and nuzzled her head into your face, smiling brightly at you as her tail swished behind her in the moonlight.

"It would be Khaylas honor to marry you, Dragonborn~"

[carmenxjulia]

I put together a transcript of the 1 hour Q&A Interview the Carmen Sandiego Discord did with Abby Trott (Ivy) and Rafael Petardi (Chase Devineaux). All of the questions were submitted by server members. You can read everything below the break!

PizzaHorse:

Hello everyone! Please welcome Abby Trott and Rafael Petardi to our Q&A today.

Abby Trott:

Hiiiiiiiiiii!

Rafael Petardi:

Hello Bonjour!

PizzaHorse:

Let's get started. How did you get started as a voice actor? Was there anything that inspired you to pursue it as a career?

Abby Trott:

Oh MAN. Long story.

Rafael Petardi:

Mine is very short. I'm an actor and my agent started sending me on voice auditions and eventually I booked some!

Abby Trott:

This is a novel so I started typing it ahead of time, haha. I was an acting/theater major, and when I graduated from college I moved to Japan on the JET program to teach English because I wanted to travel so freakin' badly. I had never even been on an airplane. I was placed in rural Akita, (inaka), and absolutely LOVED it. The only problem was I wanted to be and actor/singer… womp womp. At that time, I also started to mess around with characters and voices - I would record voice memos and conversations with myself while driving around. One day, a friend was in the car and my phone was on shuffle and one of my "scenes" started playing - I was absolutely MORTIFIED. But that moment solidified for me that I need to move to the big ole city if I wanted to really pursue acting. I ended up heading to Tokyo, where I performed in children's musicals, and did other gigs here and there. That's where I started doing VO professionally! I was able to do some character voices for the shows I was in, and some other side projects. I realized how much I loved VO, and eventually decided to move back to the States to pursue it, since most English VO for games and animation is produced here.

When I moved back, I started searching online for VoiceOver opportunities, and stumbled across a contest hosted by Bang Zoom! Entertainment. I BARELY got my entry in on time. The contest took place over several months, and in the meantime, I moved to NYC and started taking VO classes. For the finale of the contest, they flew me to LA. I ended up winning! Still can't believe it. (O-O) I got to dub my first anime "Miss Monochrome," and realized that if I wanted to work in games and animation, I should probably move to LA… and the I DID.

THE END

PizzaHorse:

What do you think are the best and worst things about being a voice actor?

Abby Trott:

Oooh. The worst things? Job insecurity... constant rejection...

Rafael Petardi:

The incredibly talented and cool people you meet and work with.

What Abby said

Abby Trott:

The best things? Working with amazing people, AND it's so much fun - even auditioning is fun!

PizzaHorse:

How did you land your role on the show?

Rafael Petardi:

I auditioned

Got the job

pretty boring I know

Abby Trott:

I auditioned through my agency, and got a callback. I went to the callback and their note was "more Boston." Then I had a second callback and their note was "even MORE Boston." So I went WICKED BOSTON and got the job

PizzaHorse:

What was your favorite/the most fun thing to record (episode/scene/line)? Any least favorites?

Rafael Petardi:

For me, the funnest scenes to record are the ones I got to play opposte the incredibly talented cast.

The least favorite... did not have enough scenes with the Wonderful Abby Trott

Abby Trott:

Awww Rafe! Singing was the MOST FUN! The Karaoke Ep, and the choose-your-own adventure one, where we got to sing the theme! Mikey (Zack) was cracking me up constantly.

Least favorite was the last ep because I didn't want it to eeeeeend

PizzaHorse:

Were you allowed to suggest lines to be said by your character, or improvise the script at all if you thought something would add to the scene?

Abby Trott:

YUP! And Mikey and I definitely did, hahaa. It was encouraged. Always fun to see what they keep...

Rafael Petardi:

Yes we were. I improvised mostly sounds and noises. Words once in a while but not very often. Thank God for Duane

PizzaHorse:

What was the hardest part of voicing your character on Carmen Sandiego? Was there a particular episode that was difficult to record?

Rafael Petardi:

Keeping the consistency episode to episode of the Chase's accent, pitch and energy

I did not want hime to sound different ever

Abby Trott:

I think the hardest part was keeping up the EXTREME Boston accent. But it was also SUPER fun...

PizzaHorse:

What traits do you share or have in common with the character you play?

Rafael Petardi:

I am like Chase in the sense of a Dog with a Bone. If I get pasionate about something, I go to extremes. Abby Trott has scene this for example in my bread making endeavors

Also, I'm an idiot in life too sometimes

Abby Trott:

Ivy and I are both... from Mass! we both have brothers who we argue with but really do love when it comes down to it. We love chocolate, aaaaand... I think we're both brave. (brag?)

Can confirm Rafe is v. passionate about bread. And and idiot.

Rafael Petardi:

All True

PizzaHorse:

What character on the show would you voice if you had the chance?

Abby Trott:

Chase

Rafael Petardi:

I would love Maelstrom

Abby Trott:

Jk... Coach Brunt seems SUPER fun

PizzaHorse:

If you could meet a character from Carmen Sandiego in real life, who would it be and why?

Abby Trott:

Carmen! she is the coooooleeest. I'd ask her to teach me some tricks

Rafael Petardi:

Julie Argent. She's cute

PizzaHorse:

Which character do you think you are most like or that you most identify with?

Rafael Petardi:

CHASE

I think that's partly why we're doing the roles we do

Abby Trott:

I think Ivy, for real! Casting was ON IT. I can be serious when I need to be, but I'm a giant goofball (if you couldn't tell from my latest tweet/insta post...)

PizzaHorse:

Who is your favorite character, other than your own?

Abby Trott:

Mime. Bomb.

Rafael Petardi:

Other than my own? Hmmm... uuuh... mmmm. tough...

Abby Trott:

Seriously, I think Mime bomb is hilarious.

Rafael Petardi:

Yes Mime Bomb!

PizzaHorse:

Do you wish your character had more interactions with another character in particular?

Rafael Petardi:

Yes, I would love to interact with Ivy and Maelstrom

I think the interaction would be odd and awkward and funny

Abby Trott:

Yes. I would love to see how Ivy handles the specific VILE members... I would love to see IVY try to go to VILE academy...

PizzaHorse:

Are there any themes or lessons from the series that you would want people to remember?

Rafael Petardi:

yes, don't jump to conclusions and be an idiot

Abby Trott:

Yes! That! also, don't be evil. ALSO also, be loyal to your friends.

PizzaHorse:

Do you ever look at fan content?

Rafael Petardi:

yes all the time. It helps when I'm tagged rafaelPetardi on Instagram

Abby Trott:

Yes! I look at fanart sometimes, and see what cosplays are happenin'

Rafael Petardi:

I've posted many as well

Abby Trott:

Haven't read much fanfic... but I know it's out there.

PizzaHorse:

What did you think about your character's development and arc throughout the series?

Rafael Petardi:

I absolutely loooooooved Chase's arc

Love redemption stuff

he was just misguided

just was alway his thing

Abby Trott:

I love Ivy's journey - she really grew up, from a troubled kid to an adult, accepting responsibility and accepting new challenges. Donning the hat, if you will.

Rafael Petardi:

*justice as always his thing

PizzaHorse:

How do you feel now that Carmen Sandiego is at its end?

Rafael Petardi:

sad. miss evrybody so much

we will have to have a cast reunion when this pandemic thing is over

Abby Trott:

SAD! But grateful. It was THE MOST fun to record, and I wish it could continue forever.

Rafael Petardi:

I'm grateful too. yes

Abby Trott:

and YES reunion!

PizzaHorse:

Yesss can't wait for that group photo to pop up on social media!

Were there any moments in the series that had you legitimately emotional?

Rafael Petardi:

yes ofcourse

losing Julia was tough

Abby Trott:

A lot. But one that stands out for me is after Carmen gets stuck out in the snow, and is reunited with her crew. (:_;). Also the stuff with Shadowsan and his brother... and anything with baby Carmen...

Gah. So many...

PizzaHorse:

Did you enjoy how the show ended? Is there anything you would have changed or would have liked to see more of?

Rafael Petardi:

I loved the way the show ended! I think Duane did a fantastic job tying loose ends and bring the story to a satisfactory close for all characters

I do hope for an ACME Ivy, Zak, Julia and Chase spin-off

Abby Trott:

I love how it ends. I think it wrapped so well considering the number of eps - the writers really got it done. I WISH Ivy and Zack could follow Carmen forever, but she has her own story to unravel it would seem.

And Ivy does look good in that suit let me tell ya

PizzaHorse:

Can you share a favorite behind the scenes moment?

Abby Trott:

Mikey. Is. So. Funny. Hard to choose one moment - he would make me laugh harder than anything. Especially when we were singing. Or any time he had to gag...

Rafael Petardi:

OMG!

That singing stuff we had to do together was hilarious

we could not stop laughinh

PizzaHorse:

What, in your opinion, are the best pizza toppings?

Abby Trott:

Cheese. Caramelized onions. Roasted garlic. Spinach. Mushrooms.

Rafael Petardi:

buffala mozzarella and tomatos period

oooooo fancy Abby

Abby Trott:

Rafe why aren't you as obsessed with pizza as you are with bread? And can you be?

Rafael Petardi:

I am

Abby Trott:

!

Rafael Petardi:

I just don;t like to share pizza

PizzaHorse:

Here's a specific question for Rafael. Did you sometimes get mad at your own character for the way he behaved towards Julia earlier on in the Series?

And one for Abby. As a Massachusetts native, how did you feel about voicing a character from Boston with the iconic accent?

Rafael Petardi:

I did not. I always felt, however misguided Chase was, he was always on the path of turth and justice no matter what was in his way. It's the same principals that led hin to see the truth about Julia

*principles

Abby Trott:

I think it's so cool, and kind of an honor, in a way. I was worried about it being too much, and people saying it's over the top. Turns out comedy wins, haha.

PizzaHorse:

Were you familiar with the older animated series when you started work on the Netflix original?

Rafael Petardi:

I never heard of Carmen Sandiego before I did this series

Abby Trott:

Yes! I had seen a bit. I also remember watching my brother play the game. Someone gifted me a mini arcade version of the game this year, and I'm excited to play :slight_smile:

Rafael Petardi:

Which I think helped when I had to say the iconic line

"Where in th world..." there was no pressure

LoL

Abby Trott:

LOL

PizzaHorse:

Okay, last question. Do you have a favorite quote from the show?

Abby Trott:

"La Femme Rouge!"

or Mime Bomb's classic "..."

Rafael Petardi:

"the game is over!"

PizzaHorse:

Woohoo!

Abby Trott:

Hooray!

PizzaHorse:

Thank you so much Rafael Petardi and Abby Trott for joining us today! I hope everybody had a wicked awesome time.

Abby Trott:

Thanks for having us! What a pleasure.

Rafael Petardi:

It was great! Thank you to all the great questions.

Abby Trott:

Thanks for watching the show! Great questions. I'm sure I'm going to think of more quotes as soon as I log off... haha.

Rafael Petardi:

See you all soon!

Abby Trott:

Stay safe, take care, and see you all on various social media platforms!

[wewererogue]

“The Store of the Worlds”, aka “World of Heart’s Desire”, by Robert Sheckley

[This is one of my favourite sci-fi short stories of all time. It touches themes that might interest roleplayers and worldbuilders, and I think about it a lot when I contemplate the fundamentals of roleplaying. Like, WHY are we roleplaying? WHOM are we roleplaying? Do we fulfill our heart’s desire? Do we really? Can we even know that for sure? Should we try harder, and be more sincere with ourselves about what we want? Or maybe less? Do we bury our deepest part, or dig it up? I’ve settled on “do both”, or at least “exclude neither”, but nothing’s simple…

In any case, “The Store of the Worlds” is a terrific story, and does what every truly great speculative fiction is supposed to do: it bends your mind, and breaks your heart. Keep in mind that it was written in 1958, this is important.]

Illustration by Surian Soosay / Motherboard

Mr. Wayne came to the end of the long, shoulder-high mound of gray rubble, and there was the Store of the Worlds. It was exactly as his friends had described; a small shack constructed of bits of lumber, parts of cars, a piece of galvanized iron, and a few rows of crumbling bricks, all daubed over with a watery blue paint.

Mr. Wayne glanced back down the long lane of rubble to make sure he hadn’t been followed. He tucked his parcel more firmly under his arm; then, with a little shiver at his own audacity, he opened the door and slipped inside.

“Good morning,” the proprietor said.

He, too, was exactly as described; a tall, crazy-looking old fellow with narrow eyes and a downcast mouth. His name was Tompkins. He sat in an old rocking chair, and perched on the back of it was a blue and green parrot. There was one other chair in the store, and a table. On the table was a rusted hypodermic.

“I’ve heard about your store from friends,” Mr. Wayne said.

“Then you know my price,” Tompkins said. “Have you brought it?”

“Yes,” said Mr. Wayne, holding up his parcel. “But I want to ask first—”

“They always want to ask,” Tompkins said to the parrot, who blinked. “Go ahead, ask.”

“I want to know what really happens.” Tompkins sighed. “What happens is this. You pay me my fee. I give you an injection which knocks you out. Then, with the aid of certain gadgets which I have in the back of the store, I liberate your mind.”

Tompkins smiled as he said that, and his silent parrot seemed to smile, too.

“What happens then?” Mr. Wayne asked.

“Your mind, liberated from its body, is able to choose from the countless probability-worlds which the earth casts off in every second of its existence.”

Grinning now, Tompkins sat up in his rocking chair and began to show signs of enthusiasm.

“Yes, my friend, though you might not have suspected it, from the moment this battered earth was born out of the sun’s fiery womb, it cast off its alternate-probability worlds. Worlds without end, emanating from events large and small; every Alexander and every amoeba creating worlds, just as ripples will spread in a pond no matter how big or how small the stone you throw. Doesn’t every object cast a shadow? Well, my friend, the earth itself is four-dimensional; therefore it casts three-dimensional shadows, solid reflections of itself through every moment of its being. Millions, billions of earths! An infinity of earths! and your mind, liberated by me, will be able to select any of these worlds, and to live upon it for a while.”

Mr. Wayne was uncomfortably aware that Tompkins sounded like a circus barker, proclaiming marvels that simply couldn’t exist. But, Mr. Wayne reminded himself, things had happened within his own lifetime which he would never have believed possible. Never! So perhaps the wonders that Tompkins spoke of were possible, too.

Mr. Wayne said, “My friends also told me—”

“That I was an out-and-out fraud?” Tompkins asked.

“Some of them implied that,” Mr. Wayne said cautiously. “But i try to keep an open mind. They also said—”

“I know what your dirty-minded friends said. They told you about the fulfillment of desire. Is that what you want to hear about?”

“Yes,” said Mr. Wayne. “They told me that whatever I wished for—whatever I wanted—”

“Exactly,” Tompkins said. “The thing could work in no other way. There are the infinite worlds to choose among. Your mind chooses, and is guided only by desire. Your deepest desire is the only thing that counts. If you have been harboring a secret dream of murder—”

“Oh, hardly, hardly!” cried Mr. Wayne.

“—then you will go to a world where you can murder, where you can roll in blood, where you can outdo Sade or Caesar, or whoever your idol may be. Suppose it’s power you want? Then you’ll choose a world where you are a god, literally and actually. A bloodthirsty Juggernaut, perhaps, or an all-wise Buddha.”

“I doubt very much if I—”

“There are other desires, too,” Tompkins said. “All heavens and all hells. Unbridled sexuality. Gluttony, drunkenness, love, fame—anything you want.”

“Amazing!” said Mr. Wayne.

“Yes,” Tompkins agreed. “Of course, my little list doesn’t exhaust all the possibilities, all the combinations and permutations of desire. For all I know you might want a simple, placid, pastoral existence on a South Seas island among idealized natives.”

“That sounds more like me,” Mr. Wayne said, with a shy laugh.

“But who knows?” Tompkins asked. “Even you might not know what your true desires are. They might involve your own death.”

“Does that happen often?” Mr. Wayne asked anxiously.

“Occasionally.”

“I wouldn’t want to die,” Mr. Wayne said.

“It hardly ever happens,” Tompkins said, looking at the parcel in Mr. Wayne’s hands. “If you say so… but how do I know all this is real? Your fee is extremely high; it’ll take everything I own. And for all I know, you’ll give me a drug and I’ll just dream! Everything I own just for a—a shot of heroin and a lot of fancy words!”

Tompkins smiled reassuringly. “The experience has no drug-like quality about it. And no sensation of a dream, either.”

“If it’s true,” Mr. Wayne said, a little petulantly, “why can’t I stay in the world of my desire for good?”

“I’m working on that,” Tompkins said. “That’s why I charge so high a fee; to get materials, to experiment. I’m trying to find a way of making the transition permanent. So far I haven’t been able to loosen the cord that binds a man to his own earth—and pulls him back to it. Not even the great mystics could cut that cord, except with death. But I still have my hopes.”

“It would be a great thing if you succeeded,” Mr. Wayne said politely.

“Yes, it would!” Tompkins cried, with a surprising burst of passion. “For then I’d turn my wretched shop into an escape hatch! My process would be free then, free for everyone! Everyone would go to the earth of their desires, the earth that really suited them, and leave this damned place to the rats and worms—”

Tompkins cut himself off in midsentence and became icy calm. “But I fear my prejudices are showing. I can’t offer a permanent escape from the earth yet; not one that doesn’t involve death. Perhaps I never will be able to. For now, all I can offer you is a vacation, a change, a taste of another world and a look at your own desires. You know my fee. I’ll refund it if the experience isn’t satisfactory.”

“That’s good of you,” Mr. Wayne said, quite earnestly. “But there’s that other matter my friends told me about. The ten years of my life.”

“That can’t be helped,” Tompkins said, “and can’t be refunded. My process is a tremendous strain on the nervous system, and life expectancy is shortened accordingly. That’s one of the reasons why our so-called government has declared my process illegal.”

“But they don’t enforce the ban very firmly,” Mr. Wayne said.

“No. Officially the process is banned as a harmful fraud. But officials are men, too. They’d like to leave this earth, just like everyone else.”

“The cost,” Mr. Wayne mused, gripping his parcel tightly. “And ten years of my life! For the fulfillment of my secret desires… Really, I must give this some thought.”

“Think away,” Tompkins said indifferently.

All the way home Mr. Wayne thought about it. When his train reached Port Washington, Long Island, he was still thinking. And driving his car from the station to his home he was still thinking about Tompkins’s crazy old face, and worlds of probability, and the fulfillment of desire.

But when he stepped inside his house, those thoughts had to stop. Janet, his wife, wanted him to speak sharply to the maid, who had been drinking again. His son, Tommy, wanted help with the sloop, which was to be launched tomorrow. And his baby daughter wanted to tell about her day in kindergarten.

Mr. Wayne spoke pleasantly but firmly to the maid. He helped Tommy put the final coat of copper paint on the sloop’s bottom, and he listened to Peggy tell about her adventures in the playground.

Later, when the children were in bed and he and Janet were alone in their living room, she asked him if something were wrong.

“Wrong?”

“You seem to be worried about something,” Janet said. “Did you have a bad day at the office?”

“Oh, just the usual sort of thing…”

He certainly was not going to tell Janet, or anyone else, that he had taken the day off and gone to see Tompkins in his crazy old Store of the Worlds. Nor was he going to speak about the right every man should have, once in his lifetime, to fulfill his most secret desires. Janet, with her good common sense, would never understand that.

The next days at the office were extremely hectic. All of Wall Street was in a mild panic over events in the Middle East and in Asia, and stocks were reacting accordingly. Mr. Wayne settled down to work. He tried not to think of the fulfillment of desire at the cost of everything he possessed, with ten years of his life thrown in for good measure. It was crazy! Old Tompkins must be insane!

On weekends he went sailing with Tommy. The old sloop was behaving very well, making practically no water through her bottom seams. Tommy wanted a new suit of racing sails, but Mr. Wayne sternly rejected that. Perhaps next year, if the market looked better. For now, the old sails would have to do.

Sometimes at night, after the children were asleep, he and Janet would go sailing. Long Island Sound was quiet then, and cool. Their boat glided past the blinking buoys, sailing toward the swollen yellow moon.

“I know something’s on your mind,” Janet said.

“Darling, please!”

“Is there something you’re keeping from me?”

“Nothing!”

“Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure?”

“Absolutely sure.”

“Then put your arms around me. That’s right…”

And the sloop sailed itself for a while.

Desire and fulfillment… But autumn came, and the sloop had to be hauled. The stock market regained some stability, but Peggy caught the measles. Tommy wanted to know the differences between ordinary bombs, atom bombs, hydrogen bombs, cobalt bombs, and all the other kinds of bombs that were in the news. Mr. Wayne explained to the best of his ability. And the maid quit unexpectedly.

Secret desires were all very well. Perhaps he did want to kill someone, or live on a South Seas island. But there were responsibilities to consider. He had two growing children, and a better wife than he deserved.

Perhaps around Christmastime…

But in midwinter there was a fire in the unoccupied guest bed-room due to defective wiring. The firemen put out the blaze without much damage, and no one was hurt. But it put any thought of Tompkins out of his mind for a while. First the bedroom had to be repaired, for Mr. Wayne was very proud of his gracious old house.

Business was still frantic and uncertain due to the international situation. Those Russians, those Arabs, those Greeks, those Chinese. The intercontinental missiles, the atom bombs, the Sputniks… Mr. Wayne spent long days at the office, and sometimes evenings, too. Tommy caught the mumps. A part of the roof had to be reshingled. And then already it was time to consider the spring launching of the sloop.

A year had passed, and he’d had very little time to think of secret desires. But perhaps next year. In the meantime—

“Well?” said Tompkins. “Are you all right?” “Yes, quite all right,” Mr. Wayne said. He got up from the chair and rubbed his forehead. “Do you want a refund?” Tompkins asked. “No. The experience was quite satisfactory.”

“They always are,” Tompkins said, winking lewdly at the parrot.

“Well, what was yours?”

“A world of the recent past,” Mr. Wayne said.

“A lot of them are. Did you find out about your secret desire? Was it murder? Or a South Seas island?”

“I’d rather not discuss it,” Mr. Wayne said, pleasantly but firmly.

“A lot of people won’t discuss it with me,” Tompkins said sulkily. “I’ll be damned if I know why.”

“Because—well, I think the world of one’s secret desire feels sacred, somehow. No offense… Do you think you’ll ever be able to make it permanent? The world of one’s choice, I mean?”

The old man shrugged his shoulders. “I’m trying. If I succeed, you’ll hear about it. Everyone will.”

“Yes, I suppose so.” Mr. Wayne undid his parcel and laid its contents on the table. The parcel contained a pair of army boots, a knife, two coils of copper wire, and three small cans of corned beef.

Tompkins’s eyes glittered for a moment. “Quite satisfactory,” he said. “Thank you.”

“Good-bye,” said Mr. Wayne. “And thank you.”

* * *

Mr. Wayne left the shop and hurried down to the end of the lane of gray rubble. Beyond it, as far as he could see, lay at fields of rubble, brown and gray and black. Those fields, stretching to every horizon, were made of the twisted corpses of cities, the shattered remnants of trees, and the fine white ash that once was human flesh and bone.

“Well,” Mr. Wayne said to himself, “at least we gave as good as we got.”

That year in the past had cost him everything he owned, and ten years of life thrown in for good measure. Had it been a dream? It was still worth it! But now he had to put away all thought of Janet and the children. That was finished, unless Tompkins perfected his process. Now he had to think about his own survival.

With the aid of his wrist Geiger, he found a deactivated lane through the rubble. He’d better get back to the shelter before dark, before the rats came out. If he didn’t hurry, he’d miss the evening potato ration.

[themorningcatch]

Dana’s Korean Drama Favorites

Special thanks to the Bogum to my Taehyung, Jazzie Rivera, for ruining my life via KDramas

CHICAGO TYPEWRITER ( 시카고 타자기) From April to June 2017

Network: tvN

Number of episodes: 16

Cast: Yoo Ah In, Lim Soo Jung, Go Kyung Pyo, Kwak Si Yang, Joo Woo Jin, Yang Jin Sung

Kilig* Factor: Satisfactory. It’s there but not too in-your-face. Seju is just a total tsundere but it’s perfect because (spoiler?) it’s every fangirl’s dream to meet their idol and be able to peel back all their layers and see them for who they truly are. There’s just enough strain between them that makes you root for them but there’s also some solid, cute couple moments that I may or may not have re-watched because huhu when will I ever???

Drama Factor: SO. MUCH. ANGST. I LOVE IT. Since the plot revolves around a tragedy they can’t figure out, when more of the plot is revealed, there is so much upheaval of emotions on their part, which also affects the audience. Not too mention the main cast’s acting is no joke. Absolutely captivating. Every episode feels heavy loaded, especially the last parts. This drama made me tear up again and again because one, there’s just something about past lives that really get to me and two, the lines (thank Jin Soo Wan) and their delivery just hit home so hard. 

Love Triangle Factor: This triumvirate’s affection for each other is the only Kdrama love triangle I will recognize. Their friendship is so special and it LITERALLY transcended lifetimes. The main cast’s chemistry is endearing like they’re all going through so much but they still have each other’s backs. And you know what, I love how Seol didn’t have to pick. I mean, she sort of did, but she didn’t really. Those two boys were both hers and they knew it. Sigh, now I want to be their friend. 

Notes: it really isn’t a surprise that Chicago Typewriter is my favorite drama because the characters are writers/avid readers; there is a touch of supernatural in the plot which is always good in my books; there is amazing acting. I honestly couldn’t get over how well they did it (especially Ko Gyung Pyo who is now one of my favorites); there is a balance between sad and light scenes, all while letting the story progress; and there are really cute moments without it feeling like fan service. I just love this show. I finished it at 4 AM after no sleep and I was physically and emotionally exhausted but at the end, it made me want to sit down and write and work because that’s the kind of storytelling that I want the world to be filled; stories that make people want to claim their roles as heroes in their stories. And heroes they are, this unforgettable trio. The only thing unrealistic about this is that Seju lives in a mansion. Like, I get that he’s a writer and he’s famous, but a mansion? Really? That’s doubtful.

Rating: 10/10 (will watch again!!!)

*(The Filipino word “kilig” is untranslatable but the best description is “the feeling one gets when they experience something romantic” or “that heart fluttering feeling”; whichever suits your fancy.)

W: TWO WORLDS ( 더블유) From July to September 2016

Network: MBC

Number of episodes: 16

Cast: Lee Jong Suk, Han Hyo Joo, Jong Eu Gene, Lee Tae Hwan, Park Won Sang, Cha Kwang Soo, Kim Eui Sung

Kilig Factor: Hyo Joo and Jong Suk have impeccable chemistry and Song Jae Jung (bless her heart) doesn’t let that go to waste. There were times when I would pause the episode just to let what I saw sink in. I thought, “HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE LOOK THIS CUTE???” Some scenes were so kilig, I almost cried. Sure, it was defo fan service for all us thirsty, lonely hoes, however, it is duly appreciated. Many times I would finish an episode and just want a boyfriend because dammit, Lee Jong Suk. Some moments are a little cringe-y when you think long and hard about whether really people do that, but I’m not complaining. I’m perfectly fine with it. 

Drama Factor: Like all good dramas should, the endings that W episodes go through crush my heart. Ultimately, it was just begging for a happy ending. I didn’t think that a sci-fi/rom-com plot was capable of making me upset but I guess that’s the charm of W; that even with loss, confusion, mystery, yearning, and all those painful adjectives, you still sit tight and grip the seat to watch it all unfold. For me, W has one of the best endings ever, a satisfying close, like a sigh of relief. To be honest, when I think about W nowadays, there’s this phantom ache in my chest just because there were scenes when I just thought, “The writer did THAT.” So word of warning, watch with detachment and if not, just be careful.

Creativity Factor: In the span of 16 episodes, W managed to scissor multiple plots and be stitched together and still not confuse the hell out of me. I think that is a plus for creativity. More often than I expected, W’s story line felt different each time a problem began. It’s an absolute roller coaster with a bunch of tropes that sometimes it felt like watching a whole other show. I personally enjoy that. It felt like an adventure, although exhausting at that. But sometimes, it does do something ridiculous that reminds you, this isn’t real anyways but I forgive that for entertainment’s sake. 

Notes: Not entirely a stunning show, but a unique and imaginative one. No other drama has quite left the same impression W did with me. This was the drama I recommended the most to people. It was about creation and art as well so that appealed to me. I love the bits where Song Moo would be sketching and whatever he did started translating to reality. That must’ve been hard to shoot so I commend the director as well. W also felt quick to watch as the plot moved without dawdling too much. It was quite unrealistic and intense but still, incomparable. As for the romance, Yeon Joo and Chul = OTP. 

Rating: 9/10 (when will my life become a drama???)

GOBLIN: THE LONELY AND GREAT GOD ( 쓸쓸하고 찬란하神-도깨비) From December 2016 - January 2017

Network: tvN

Number of episodes: 16

Cast: Gong Yoo, Kim Go Eun, Lee Dong Wook, Yoo In Na, Yook Sung Jae

Kilig Factor: At first, I seriously didn’t like them because of the age difference and it was little weird that Eun Tak called him “ahjussi.” Later on, I got used to it and as their love story progressed, the more I got tangled with it. I absolutely can’t forget the part when it would rain and Eun Tak would cry hysterically and she had no clue why. That was such a powerful and poignant scene for me. Gong Yoo and Kim Go Eun are incredible actors. They could convey such deep emotions from their characters and still retain parts of that when they become quirky. With the Sunny/Grim Reaper pairing, it felt a little dragging and draining by the end, to be honest. However, there’s this certain yearning I can’t remove that I want them to end up together. I think their relationship boosted Goblin/Eun Tak’s by showing a contrast. The kind of drama with romantic scenes that made me squeal out loud. 

Drama Factor: I think there were only a few episodes I didn’t shed a tear over. The writing has this fragrant poetry structure to it that just appeals so much to a hopeless romantic like me. I know people don’t talk that way in real life but there’s just a beauty with a good string of words that can support an otherwise mediocre scene. Also, a very, very good cast. There was a lot of crying but it didn’t feel overwhelming (for me) because of how it was delivered. I think Goblin is a show I would watch if I ever doubted the supreme lightness love can bring after a dreadful storm. 

OST Factor: Unforgettable. There’s a reason that Goblin’s is one of the most famous. The roster of performers in that OST is unbelievable. It’s so well chosen, especially once it’s edited as the background for a certain scene. There’s also so much to choose from that the songs post-Goblin binge watching don’t feel sickening; more nostalgic than anything. The OST by itself captures the sweet sadness of Goblin’s story and that’s a pretty good feat for a musical score to achieve. 

Notes: Goblin was the very first Korean drama that I’ve watched properly and voluntarily. I was just really curious at first but then the cinematography, the music, the acting of this show absolutely blew me away. I think I cried majority of the time because I couldn’t believe I was watching such a well written show with representation of people who looked like me! (Asians!!!) I think that like the show’s theme of first love for the 900 year old Goblin, this was the perfect drama to show me how great K-dramas have become, and maybe I’m being eye roll worthy but it felt a little like finding a first love. I have nothing but fondness over Goblin and its clever story full of fate and twists and childlike innocence amidst the dark past they all share. And loneliness is something that is so palpable to me and seeing it suited up like this, made my heart clench and have hope. It’s wonderful like that. 

Rating: 15/10. Just watch it. It’s worth your time. 

REPLY 1988 ( 응답하라 1988) From November 2015 - January 2016

Network: tvN

Number of episodes: 20

Cast: Hyeri, Ryoo Joon Yeol, Go Kyung Pyo, Park Bo Gum, Lee Dong Hwi, Sung Dong Il, Lee Il Hwa, Ryoo Hye Young, Choi Sung Won, Kim Sung Kyun, Ra Mi Ran, Ahn Jae Hong, Kim Sun Young, Yoo Jae Myung, Choi Moo Sung, Kim Sul, Lee Min Ji, Lee Se Young

Kilig Factor: Of course I know most people don’t fall in love with their neighbors that often but this one is an exception. Romantic love wasn’t the main theme for this show however it still came through. And yes, I may be super biased when it comes to Park Bo Gum and Go Kyung Pyo and yes, them just smiling can get me riled up already BUT the love triangle presented towards the end is pretty decent and the falling-back-in-love trope with two characters is realistic and enjoyable enough. I’ve never seen a character demonstrate that kind of attitude (fiercely and stubbornly choosing their career over a relationship) before so it was quite interesting for me. There were little moments where they would reveal that this character actually liked this character, or did this for this character that would just have me punching a pillow, kicking, and screaming because dammit, that’s cute. I think it could have been better though, but as Reply 1988 isn’t solely focused on that, it’s good enough. 

Drama Factor: Okay, compared to Reply 1988, my crying in Goblin was a dripping faucet. This show had me bursting like a waterfall. It was in all those moments that felt real, so, so real, I couldn’t help but weep. It was superb how Lee Woo Jeong wrote this show with tenderhearted conversations and the absolute unfairness of life that everybody can relate to and have such an awesome cast enact it in the messy times of the 80′s and translate into something a girl like me could deeply feel. Towards the end, I cried at every episode (there was always just something that hit me so much!) and it was the kind that would start as a sob and just progress then on. Inside Reply 1988 were lessons and experiences that everybody has felt or will feel or is trying to forget that universally is the same but in a different packaging. This show, to me, is the epitome of a Korean drama, unashamed and so emotional.

Food Factor: To be honest, there were far too many times Reply 1988 made me hungry. From clams to ramyun to kimchi pancakes to fish-shaped bread, they ate everything. I do appreciate it though because it exposed what Korean culture is like and how families have a good meal with each other as an act of love. I find the putting-meat/egg/vegetable/whatever-into-someone’s-bowl gesture as a unique and  simple way of saying you favor someone. I also saw how important food is with the plot because as they go through changes, their food changed! When they were poor, they complained about side dishes. When they got older, the food they ate became different. When something good happens, there’s a whole feast. When watching this show, beware of the scrumptious dishes. I’m still looking for tteokbokki these days. 

Notes: First of all, the set design team is amazing. I didn’t feel the whole Ssamundong late 80′s vibe at first but then it felt a little like home after so many hours of looking at it. There’s a lot of things I want to complain about this show, especially how it didn’t resolve properly. There were so many things left hanging! So many relationships unexplored! So many people’s endings swept aside! I didn’t feel like it got the ending it deserved. However, this was such a heartwarming drama. I haven’t seen such a raw presentation of this kind of suburban city life anywhere and it was familiar to me. I also loved how in an episode, things will happen and at the end, there was actually one unifying theme for all of that. I can say nothing more about Reply 1988 other than it did feel like I was growing up with these kids and I was part of their rag-tag bundle of troublemakers. That’s the most important part, I think, to have your audience feel like they were a part of it all. It means art has done its job well.

Rating: 7/10. A little disappointing but still great. 

(this took me forever to make but it was fun. i might make a part two. maybe...)

[operationrainfall]

Title The Last of Us Part II Developer Naughty Dog Publisher Sony Interactive Entertainment Release Date June 19, 2020 Genre Action-Adventure, Horror Platform PlayStation 4 Age Rating Mature Official Website

I’ve been sitting on this review for about a week, hemming and hawing over how I want to approach it. To say The Last of Us Part II is divisive is probably the understatement of the year, but I loved the first game and want to give its sequel – which I’ve been looking forward to for years – its due. I also wanted to approach it without any preconceived notions from others. I made a concentrated effort to not know anything about this game before going into it: I didn’t see the pre-release leaks, I didn’t read any reviews or interviews, and I’ve watched no analyses. I’ve avoided discussions with others about the game; I haven’t even looked at its Metacritic score. I jumped into this game head-first the weekend it was released, poured 35 or so hours into it, and have since just been working out my thoughts.

Considering the content of the game, its themes, and how the story plays out, this review will be split into two sections. The first will cover general gameplay, level design, exploration, accessibility options, and difficulty. There will be minor spoilers for locations and NPCs, but I’m going to do my best to keep them at the bare minimum. The second half will be full of spoilers as we go full bore into TLoU2‘s story, characters, and themes. That being said, let’s dive into The Last of Us Part II.

You can pet the dog in The Last of Us Part II.

First things first, this game is visually stunning. Naughty Dog have gone above and beyond creating a breathtakingly beautiful world. Playing on the PlayStation 4 Pro with HDR is honestly something else, and the team really pushed what the PS4 can do graphically. I did experience a lot of pop in, especially for shiny surfaces, and near the end of the game some textures would take abnormally long to load (particularly with letters), but nothing was ever so bad as to be game breaking.

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One of the most important aspects of any game is its gameplay, and I think this is where TLoU2 shines. It takes what the first game provided and polishes it, with tighter controls, more satisfactory gun-play, and an assortment of tools that make each combat engagement genuinely fun. Between the staple bottle throw/molotov combo for infected and using the new proximity bombs at Ellie’s disposal, encounters often had great pay-off. The inclusion of new enemy types helped break up combat as well, and overall I found the cadence of fights very satisfying. No two instances were exactly alike, and a lot of that came down to the expanded freedom the environment offered over TLoU‘s more claustrophobic settings.

Seattle literally opens up the gameplay, and I found the way Naughty Dog introduced us to the wider world really clever. The Jackson prologue feels a lot like more TLoU, with your standard corridor setups and small interior locations. The game adds jumping to Ellie’s repertoire, opening the world vertically and making traversal less of a chore. Combined with the tighter controls, it feels like a really polished The Last of Us experience. But then once you reach Seattle, the corridor opens to a literal city with optional locations to visit, stunning vistas, and a lot more choice in how to approach combat encounters.

Seattle offers a great semi-open world setting that significantly expands the world over The Last of Us.

What’s great about TLoU2‘s level design is how well it weaves in these more “open world” sequences and your standard corridors. For the most part, even when exploring inside, Ellie has plenty of nooks and crannies to check out that didn’t really exist in the first game. Puzzle sequences still default almost exclusively to opening doors and pushing around dumpsters, but I feel far more connected to Seattle than I did the locations in TLoU. Deciding to keep the game confined to the greater Seattle area, rather than multiple set-pieces scattered across the country, makes the city a character in itself. It feels lived in (literally and figuratively). This makes for a great juxtaposition for those times when we find ourselves in smaller, more claustrophobic situations, and helps keep the pace of the game engaging. It doesn’t always pay off (there’s a very long sequence near the end of the game that overstays its welcome to the point of exhaustion), but for the most part I always felt invested in what I was doing.

The open nature of Seattle also provided a lot more fun with encounters. There were plenty of situations where I opted to just sneak around enemies rather than engage, weaving in and out of buildings, hiding in tall grass, and using distractions. Dogs added some nice tense moments to these sequences that human enemies just didn’t provide, since once they have your scent they can track you even while you’re hiding. Other times I ran in guns blazing, or set up traps to catch enemies unaware. At least two sequences let me pit the infected against humans, and those were probably the most fun of all.

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On the whole I felt TLoU2 was easier than its predecessor, in large part thanks to Ellie’s knife. Unlike in the previous game, Ellie will always have a weapon to use against Clickers and Stalkers, whereas Joel had to choose between crafting a shiv to fight or to unlock doors. That choice no longer exists, as locked doors can be opened by finding a different route in, and the instant-death threat of some more powerful infected is reduced. The game compensates somewhat by tossing more Clickers, Stalkers, and dogs at you, and in the second half of the game removes your knife briefly, but it never feels quite as dangerous as Joel’s encounters in the first game.

Seattle also shines when it comes to world building. The set-pieces in TLoU made for good character moments between Joel and Ellie, but they never delved much into the state of the world itself post-outbreak. They couldn’t. We never stayed in one place long enough to know or care much about it, and the narrative drive to reach the Fireflies superseded learning about these stopover locations. In Seattle though, we get a sense of how people really dealt with the outbreak. One of the earliest examples involves stumbling over the bodies of would-be bank robbers who thought Outbreak Day would be a great time to steal some cash. We follow the lives of a handful of long-dead citizens through the notes they left for each other in the suburbs, and the prominent graffiti and posters for the government and rebel factions similar to the Fireflies litter the landscape. We can also see the escalating war between the WLF and the Seraphites and the ways it has consumed the city. Seattle is just a fantastic setting all around to bind the themes of the game together.

Seattle is littered with old signs, posters, and other remnants of its long civil war between the WLF, FEDRA, and the Seraphites.

Naughty Dog has also made the game incredibly accessible for a wide array of player abilities. In addition to your standard difficulty levels (Very Light, Light, Moderate, Hard, Survivor), you can tweak individual settings to tailor the experience to your playstyle. Want super tough enemies, normal damage, but lots of resources? You can do that. The game lets you toggle individual settings from the easiest to the hardest, instead of wholesale. It reminds me of being able to choose easy encounters but super difficult puzzles in Silent Hill. And since you can change the settings on the fly, it really lets players tailor the experience to their comfort.

Difficulty isn’t the only place to tweak accessibility. Presets exist for those with vision impairments, hearing impairments, and motor impairments, each of which can be toggled individually to suit your specific needs, or done wholesale. I’m personally a big fan of the font colors and size, as well as the speaker locator, which puts an arrow on the screen to indicate from where someone off-screen is speaking. During some more chaotic fights, knowing where my AI partner was gave me a better sense of what was going on. It also helped me avoid being pushed out into the open, which happened way too often. Compared to Ellie’s AI in TLoU, the companion NPCs in the sequel got in the way more times than they helped. That being said, I had the options turned on for comfort, but they offer real, tangible benefits to those with disabilities, and seeing a big-budget title like The Last of Us Part II provide so much customization was great. It should be the standard, and I hope more games embrace giving players options and broadening their playerbase.

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Gameplay isn’t perfect, though, and for all the improvements it makes to the first game, stealth is not one of them. Hearing feels particularly weak compared to TLoU. Just like in the first game, Ellie can enhance her abilities using pills, but even after upgrading her hearing, detecting enemies was scattershot in even some of the more confined locations. Peering around corners was inelegant, and I disliked the fact you couldn’t pull enemies into the water. I don’t expect Metal Gear Solid, but for the amount of stealth the game pushes, these would have been nice additions.

There were also several times where the contextual triangle button would not trigger. In the quiet puzzle rooms or caches, having to hit the button multiple times wasn’t an issue, but during hectic encounters, it led to my death on more than one occasion. It was a nuisance that wore my patience thin during long gaming sessions.

Pacing also suffered, particularly in the second half of the game. From a narrative standpoint, having an exhausting encounter rate makes sense – it is the post-apocalypse, after all, and we’re ramping up to the climax. But the frequent use of flashbacks coupled with enemy sequences severely hampered the pacing and left me more frustrated than entertained.

The dreaded contextual triangle.

Speaking of narrative, while I personally resonated with the themes of TLoU2, I still feel its predecessor’s story and execution were overall better. We meet significantly more characters in Seattle than we ever did traipsing across the U.S., but they are for the most part unlikable or lacked impact. The game attempts to accommodate this by extending its length, but the minimalist nature of the first game did a better job connecting us to its characters than TLoU2‘s cutscenes.

Overall, TLoU2 plays great and looks beautiful. Seattle is a gorgeous city and traversing it provides a plethora of options. And while there are a plethora of motifs, symbolism, subtext and more I’d love to talk about, I’m going to stick to only the overarching plot in my spoiler discussion below.

Keep Reading for more of The Last of Us Part II

For those who don’t want to be spoiled on the story and characters, turn back now, because from here on out will be massive spoilers for the entire game. This is your last warning!

****SPOILER WARNING****

The Last of Us told a simple but effective story with the overarching premise of “What would you do to save your loved ones?” Would you kill a young girl to save humanity, or condemn humanity to save a young girl? How many atrocities would you commit to keep others alive? The Last of Us Part II takes this premise to its logical extreme and asks “What would you do to avenge the ones you love?”

Joel was not a good man. He admitted as much himself. And yet through the intimacy of his growing affection for surrogate daughter Ellie, we came to understand his worldview. It put in stark contrast the warring philosophies of sacrificing one for many, and saving one at the expense of others. TLoU was an elaborate Trolley Problem, and Joel chose to let humanity suffer in order to save his newfound family. Whether his decision was right or wrong was for the player to decide, but it was his decision.

The game returns to Saint Mary’s Hospital often.

That decision comes back to kill him about an hour into The Last of Us Part II, when Abby comes for her pound of flesh. Joel sacrificed humanity and killed her father, and in her mind, he deserves to die. As the player, who grew to love Joel despite his faults, we don’t see it the same way. We understand his reasons. But us understanding can’t save Joel from death. It’s brutal, and sudden, and puts us exactly in the mindset for our own vengeance. TLoU2‘s revenge plotline is neither new nor subtle, but it is powerful.

The story’s most effective conceit is actually the one I hated at first. Joel’s death upset me. I hated it. I hated that Abby could turn around and torture him after he and Tommy saved her life. I was absolutely on board with Ellie’s hatred and pain and wanted nothing more than to get back at the group who took Joel away. Then the midpoint switch hit and I was put into Abby’s shoes, and I hated it. It felt pointless and hollow, especially when the game tried to characterize her friends – whom I’d just killed in the aquarium half an hour earlier. It was dumb; I couldn’t relate to these people. I knew their fate, why should I care?

Yes.

And yet, by the end, I had no interest in killing Abby at the Rattler compound. The game forced to me try, relentlessly pushing me toward exacting a revenge plot I’d seen destroy every other character, and I wanted nothing to do with it. It’s a feeling I don’t think I’d have had if the game had played out differently. It wouldn’t have worked had I not been in both Ellie’s and Abby’s shoes and seen the toll revenge took on both of them.

Ellie’s determination to get back at Abby nearly destroys her. While her one-woman-killing spree through Seattle is initially cathartic, by the time she tortures Nora to death, it’s hard to see how she’s any better than Abby herself. It has a visible effect on her and, like Owen, Dina begins to turn away from the idea of vengeance at all costs, even while Ellie continues. It’s the same distance we saw grow between Abby and Owen, and their relationship dies with him on an aquarium floor. In TLoU2, revenge, in no uncertain terms, leads to ruin.

We see this mirrored in an assortment of ways throughout the game, the most obvious being the civil war between the WLF and the Seraphites. The WLF already had a rough start when they supplanted the government 20 years earlier, replacing one fascistic regime with another. Seattle is scarred by the remnants of that war with bombed out buildings and blighted landscapes. Corpses of soldiers who tried to get away mark the totality of the WLF’s vengeance against the government. Those corpses are later replaced with the Seraphites, a cult-like group determined to live off the land who also gut and hang any WLF they find. No one can say definitively who threw the first proverbial punch, but no one is willing to stop throwing them, either, escalating until the WLF literally set the Seraphite’s island on fire in an all out march to their own doom.

Lev and Alice are the best supporting characters in this game.

Both Ellie and Abby are ultimately saved from the same fate, but not by themselves. After Ellie kills Owen and his pregnant girlfriend Mel, Abby continues the cycle of vengeance, killing Jesse. She’s only stopped from also killing Dina by Lev, a Seraphite whom Abby saved in a too-late moment of conscience. A runaway who defied Seraphite will, he’s the only character we meet who didn’t choose which side to be on – he was born into it, and he chose to reject it. He’s the one who keeps Abby from continuing the killing, and he’s the one to whom Abby turns at the end when Ellie finally comes for her pound of flesh. She doesn’t want to fight anymore, and neither did I, but the game wouldn’t let me walk away. Up until this point, Ellie has pushed away anyone who tried to help her, including Dina. She’s trapped in this cycle and as the player, we are trapped with her. We’re forced to bear the burden of unending violence.

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The thing that pulls Ellie back is Joel. Despite the rift that had formed between them from years of lying and Ellie’s survivor’s guilt, his memory is what keeps Ellie from following through. Killing Abby wasn’t going to bring Joel back and it wasn’t going to heal the festering wound inside her. But, like with Joel, forgiveness might. The night before he died, Ellie was willing to bury the hatchet she’d carried for four years following Saint Mary’s Hospital. She was willing to forgive. Letting Abby go was an extension of that.

It’s telling that only after Ellie relents on her quest for vengeance can she draw Joel’s face. Sometimes mending what’s broken isn’t the easiest choice, but it might be the best one. At the end of the game, in the empty farmhouse she’d once shared with Dina, we’re left with the tatters of a life Ellie almost threw away. Whether she can repair it or not is left up in the air, but I’d like to believe there’s something worth saving.

How far would you go to get revenge? How much would you sacrifice for forgiveness? How do you deal with guilt when it eats you from inside? Is there a line you won’t cross, or is everything fair game to make someone else pay for your pain? None of these are easy questions with simple answers, and The Last of Us Part II doesn’t really offer a definitive answer, either. It can’t, and if it did, it would ring hollow. Instead we’re left with the wreckage of two lives spurred on by vengeance and the hope that, maybe, there is closure for the worst of us.

The Last of Us Part II is available for the PlayStation 4 for $59.99 USD.

[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”4″]

Review copy purchased by author.

REVIEW: The Last of Us Part II