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endlayer · 3 years

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Didn't draw anything for edo day for gx month so instead ill just talk about him because he makes me insane? the most guy ever

none of this is going to be linear and will instead just be a ton of simple points that exist in my brain that i cannot link together

you ever think about how edo's entire identity revolved around his trauma up until like season 3, and even then his life is still so heavily influenced by it. he was never himself, never edo phoenix. he was a machine motivated by revenge because the idea of justice was the only thing that could keep him alive. the skipping grades, the extreme sports, the pro dueling is all just something to get him closer to revenge. to justice. to closure. edo doesn't know how to actually function because his entire mind is so focused on that one point in his life that it's clouded his entire vision. he can't think about his future if it doesn't somehow involve getting justice for his father.

wahhh edo's self worth is almost completely determined by how useful he is to others this is like outright stated in season 2. motherfucker nearly loses it at the idea of not being "useful enough" to saiou which ties into how he's never "edo phoenix" he is an extension of others he is a tool used to reach a goal, his own identity and bodily safety does not matter when trying to achieve something.

he works himself two steps from death's doorway so he doesn't have to deal with his issues or process things. can't think about your trauma if you're busy kicking ass on the pro circuit!

also hi lol the reason edo took to readily to the idea of fate and destiny (other than saiou obviously introducing that to him at like the lowest point in his life when he desperately needed something to keep him going) was because it's so much easier to think that the things that have happened to you are predetermined and that you can't change anything than to process it and try to heal a little bit from it!

edo has been used by like every single man that has talked to him. other than his dad help😭😭😭😭 people look at edo and go I can use you for my benefit. come here young lad pspsppsosospsppss

wahhhhhhh edo is one of the most loving people in gx im putting them up there with fubuki. edo and fubuki stand together on a podium that says "i love so much that it will (and literally has) been the death of me." i'll never get people who say that edo is unempathetic. he literally isn't helpppp 😭😭😭😭 this kid is driven by his love for others! not even just his father. he's driven by his love for his father, his love for saiou and mizuchi, his love for judai, his love for kids. edo loves so much and in so many different ways. he's just a guarded, traumatized kid.

speaking of edo loving kids here's a hill i will die on: edo's passion is kids not pro dueling. "edo wanted to be a pro duelist when he was a kid!" yeah and i wanted to be a baker look where we are. edo phoenix, ~8 years old, saying he wants to be a pro duelist doesn't mean shit. i think i wanted to be like 7 different things when i was 8. he got involved in it way too fucking early (edo is 14 at the beginning of season 2, and considering his place as one of the most notable pro duelists, he's got to at least have been on the circuit since he was 13) and as he got older it was really just for him to collect intel on his dad's killer! even if it is his passion he's going to burn out with how intense he's been doing it for so long. here's where the kids come in (im rubbing my hands together) season 4 episode like 167 or something it's found out that edo donates like all his money to orphanages and schools and it's like cool! He's a nice kid. then there's the bit where he's playing with the kids at the orphanage and im printing this scene out im putting it on a corkboard and i am banging my fist against the corkboard this is one of the only times we've seen edo content. he loves kids he loves helping kids his biggest goal after avenging his father is making sure that every single kid is safe and cared for. thank you hope you all enjoyed that yelling segment i'm very passionate about it.

these two events aren't necessarily connected it's more just a show of edo's view of himself but if you watch the clip in episode 98 where dd calls edo a mediocrity then watch ep like 167 where edo's hand splits open during practice and he says something along the lines of "a mediocrity like me has to work 1000 times as hard as anyone else to get anywhere in the world" it's the most horrifying thing honestly.

i know i have more stuff to talk about but my brain ran out of energy ill come back and like rb this later or smth sorry i have so many edo thoughts he makes me actually fucking insane. anyways he and mizuchi have sleepovers a lot they watch shitty movies and edos like "i'm really glad i have you you're genuinely like a sister to me i love you a lot" and mizuchi goes "aww thank you so much! you're the gay brother i never had!"

and finally im closing this out by saying that edo has bpd because my psych guy was like I'm fairly certain you have bpd and i need to process it by pinning it on edo phoenix. and also he and manjoume should get into a fist fight. good night everyone!

#wrote all of this just now if it sucks that's why also i guess im tagging this. welcome to my meta.#this is what my brain looks like 24/7 btw i am not joking when i say that he makes me insane and that im constantly thinking about him #edo phoenix #gx month #yugioh gx

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igumdrop · 5 years

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:OO WELCOME EVERYONE!!

okay okay, I know what you guys are thinking -- Jaime, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! HOW CAN YOU MAKE THE SUB-BLOG GO PUBLIC?!?! WHAT HAPPENED TO *THAT* LIST... THE *YOU KNOW WHAT* LIST...

and my response is... I don’t know what you’re talking about. I never had such a list.

okay, real talk though, I decided to let my sub-blog go public for multiple reasons:

♡ no one wants to enter a password that I change constantly

♡ most of what I say I would love to share with my regular viewers who can’t afford to sub, and this is my main source of updating you guys on a more personal basis for those who follow me more on social media and not my stream

♡ I’m incorporating a lot more sub-only things into the community, so I figured I could let one go!

we’ll see how it goes and if it does start to feel uncomfortable, we can always bring it back :) but there’s little to nothing that I can think of that would make this weird because I don’t overshare that much... I think... HAHA we’ll see

ANYWAYS, REALLY GOOD NEWS! for the past few months I’ve had a little team of subs working on our community Minecraft server! (SO MUCH THANKS TO GOLDEYE, WATTEHMS, MATTY, MAXWELL, BRADLEY, JOSTER <3) I’ll try to log on everyday and just have a habit of keeping it online. I think it’d be cute to be able to log onto something and see everyone in the same world!

if you’re a sub, please fill out the form that I linked in the discord! it’s also the same form you use to join the gummie gang stream team, and also for me to know what your discord usernames are (a lot of times when you guys message me, your discord username is different from your twitch and I have no idea LOL) there’s also a little response section where you can give me any suggestions you want! (stream ideas, sub emotes, etc) ~ HAVE FUN!

AND EVEENNNN MORE GOOD NEWS!!!

WE’LL BE ON FRONT PAGE OF TWITCH THIS THURSDAY!! WEEE!!

I’ll probably be doing a sit-down cooking stream into a mukbang :) TIME IS TO BE ANNOUNCED BUT IT SHOULD BE AROUND THE TIME FRAME OF 12PM - 2PM OR 2PM - 4PM! I’ll let you guys know as soon as possible on discord. I’ll also be streaming tomorrow/Tuesday and Wednesday so I’ll let you guys know on stream too!

OK THAT’S IT FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS!~ here are my own personal lil updates

BENJI HAS GROWN SOOO MUCH! okay not gonna lie, he was kinda dying for a bit during the winter, I don’t think he really did well in the cold... his leaves would fall off sometimes and yellow at the ends. I was getting really scared and to be honest I’m so attached to this god damn plant that it was taking a sad mental toll on me. LMFAO. WHY AM I LIKE THIS. anyway, I gave him some fertilizer and stayed consistent with him, watered him whenever I needed to and tried to keep him in warm yet sunny areas of my house. and YAY, SPRING ROLLS AROUND AND HE’S GROWN BIGGER THAN I HAVE EVER SEEN HIM GROW!!!

before (when I first got him) and now! I’m so proud... only I can write a paragraph raving about my pet plant... jeez it’ll be crazy once I get an actual cat or something...

there was a really busy week in march where I spent all my leftover time planning Aria’s birthday. it was honestly the cutest thing ever seeing all her friends get together and work on stuff for her. I remember being insanely tired during it but once I saw her reaction for her surprise party, my heart melted and I just told myself wow that was soooo worth it LOL. here’s some pictures from my end <3

we got these GIANT balloons that spelled out ARIA and it took forever to get into the car and out LMAO... excuse my janky no makeup face but it was so funny seeing us struggle so hard with the balloons T_T LOL

we spent hours late at night working on her scrapbook and baking stuff for her. I was working on strawberry cheesecake shoots and I remember cutting 10+ strawberries and thinking, “wow, it would suck if I dropped these,” and then guess what happened...

I dropped them lmao

anyways it turned out so wholesome and cute <3

I found the airbnb on this website called peerspace and when I saw it, it SCREAMED ARIA...

you’re welcome for me blessing your eyes

we seriously worked our *aesthetic* muscle for this because we knew aria would appreciate the heck out of it

OKAY ANYWAYS MOVING ON!! yesterday I went to h-mart and got a shit ton of groceries. and I realized it’s STRAWBERRY SEASON!!! there’s still a lot of stuff that I want to buy that isn’t available here though, so my mom tries to send me all that she can :D

I love her so much I miss her so much wahhh I can’t even talk about my parents because I’ll just start crying because I miss them so much ... ok also I was supposed to stream yesterday but I took a nap... and... didn’t... haha... jaimewhatswrongwithyou.exe.... here’s a post-nap selfie though...

I looked heckin janky but snow saved my ass

ANYWAY I spent the rest of the night just reading and I finished my monthly book read! here are my two recommendations for you guys :)

I absolutely love love love this book! it will really help if you’re an overthinker like me. tl;dr, it talks about the inside voice in your head that constantly battles with itself and refers to it as an “annoying roommate.” with consistent reading (a chapter or two before sleeping at night) it really helped me clear my mind and become super aware of how the voice in my head could be more harmful than helfpul. if you’re new to reading it is quite a bit to read though so if you want something easier then I suggest this:

gosh, my life became so simple when I read this book consistently. it basically shares four simple agreements that you should always be conscious of in life. this book just really helped me not take things as personally, to not make assumptions, and it just gave me a much more simple and clear perspective on things and issues. SUPER SUPER EASY TO READ!!! downfall is, it kinda talks about religion a lot at the end, which might make it uncomfortable for some of you guys. I couldn’t really enjoy the last bits of it that much because of that sole reason but it’s still a great read and taught me lots of fundamentals I never knew I needed for my own mindset :)

I went to LCS the day before yesterday and it was really fun because I brought a portable cut-out of scarra LMAOOOOOO the thread is really funny so you guys should go read it: https://twitter.com/iGumdrop/status/1114687260434124801

I also did my taxes yesterday (well I finished up what was left of it) during the games LOL and then I went to annie’s place afterwards because her mom is an accountant and she helped me file them. I’m soooo happy I got them over with because I feel so free now!

hm ok ending these are always hard because it always seem so abrupt, mainly because even my 200 WPM fingers get tired of typing. I guess all I have to say is, hello new readers of my sub-blog, I hope you enjoy your time here! and thank you so much to everybody who supports me. it really means the world to me and I never go one day without insanely appreciating you guys. this month I’ma hit you guys with that dudududuududud GOOD CONTENT! <3

and alas, a few of my favorite cute lil drawings this month from chibird~

(+ my community)

WELL, FAREWELL FRIENDS! TILL NEXT TIME <3

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blizzardfluffykpop · 6 years

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writing blog recommendations?💓

I have lots in my head, but like I’ll just write whoever comes to my head

@choco-seventeen I’mma just spill my love for them, omg wow. I’ve been in love with their writing for a very long time, wow. Like they have this fan-fiction called Dream Catcher for Joshua I wish I could forget it continuously to read it over and over again, it’s series that’s finished and wow man... Like I love all these it’s a mixture and I love that :) This is one of the many stories you need to read. She’s made me cry and that’s a good thing but yeah.  @pinktokens cdhshuovsdaohhouohuvdsaho sorry that was emotions for her series and it just came out... I read Hidden Rooms like when I first read it DK’s part wasn’t out yet but man... Like the ending was fantastic wow, I still have yet to read an au quite like it so go read that you won’t regret I promise on my life. 

@not-all-that-chic so I’m still reading their works, once Land of Wonder is finished I was going to compliment them but here we are :) I really love your writing! Anyway, they are mostly a smut writer but y’know man I am in love land of wonder I can’t wait for Dormouse part to come out (my ult bias y’know).  

@kpop-wonder212 I don’t know how many times they have made me cry, but it’s enough, try My Daughter it’s still not finished but wow if that story hasn’t made me cry I don’t know what has. Truly a phenomenal writer, thanks for making me cry. She writes as much angst as I need for my teenage soul.   (Most of these writers will have made me cry because I’m the biggest crybaby I know; but I’m good with that)

@ripperoonii Okay so Cady is absolutely amazing writer I think you should check out her Like Cashmere and Velvet it’s Jeonghan and wow I loved that story to pieces, this one didn’t make me cry if I’m correct but I still loved it. (also if you need a fic recs like she has a blog for it :) @sippin-on-lemonade )  

@astarlightmonbebe As far as I’m sure she stopped requests wanting to pursue her own writing that’s my Leah!!! :) But she is much more of a member x member writer rather than an x reader writer (which is mostly what I read and what I write) But if I ever got time I’d read it, but she wrote me a birthday scenario with Mark X Reader and wow talent let me tell you.  

@got7imaginations All of your got7 needs are right here! (I realized how many works I need to read today oof) But anyways the fan-fiction I read from them is Shy Like Me I’d personally recommend but like it’s up to you.

@tokyoseo Wow I’m pretty sure this is one of my last series that I read in a night or over the course of two (I usually can’t sleep until I finish a fanfic).  I personally would recommend the series Paradise it’s complete and wow the whole story was wahhh omg. I have no words.  

@floraltenwritings So I’m pretty positive I’ve read everything on her poly scenarios personally check that whole masterlist out, if that’s something you’d be interested in, I loved it personally.  

@strawberryjmilk Wow another amazing writer where I didn’t read all their works told myself I’d get to it but I didn’t, but the work I did read was When the Ticking Stops and wow I loved that so much, 10/10 would read again.  

@changbeanie okay really need to start reading more but I’ve read alot of tattoo artists aus and it’s one of my many favorites but like you need to check out Stawrberries it’s Minho fanfic wow omg I actually think getting a strawberry tattoo would be neat, but like I fell like I wouldn’t get it colored it, it was just be on ribs-but anyways-back to the main point of this really check them out okay?

 @lordofassgard Have you ever met a writer you just want to hit but that’s rude so you won’t, well this is one. If you want to end up bawling your eyes out well this is the writer for you. I’m sorry actually I really love her Play Pretend and I’m actually so excited for part 3 like I just can’t wait to see what happens next. Like she makes me feel all of my emotions in stories I just wow ( I really love tattoo artist aus tbh if you can’t tell)  

@yeolology Okay this is a wow factor but like I Like Stars is one of the works I just loved reading and like all of the other fanfictions on here I wish I could catch amnesia to read this one and the others again.

 @detaective Well let me mention I need to read more yet again, but I did read Soulmate!Felix and what an amazing au it was so cute wow! I’ll probably be reading their soulmate aus some more later y’know.  

@yehet-me-up okay one of my favorite series is Exodus Mall AU and I’ve seen one like it but I can’t remember who wrote it, but wowwwww I don’t even truly stan EXO (I have so many to juggle and I’m about to topple over) but man did this series make me want to stan to death tbh.  

@kpopfanfictrash Their requests are closed right now oof, but anyways I read Romanticizing the Tome is an amazing fic honestly. and I didn’t even know they wrote about GOT7 till today, (I have lot of things to read tonight) because I’ve always read their BTS stuff but like def a writer to check out tbh  

@byunmania I never got around to it because when I started reading Ador it wasn’t finshed yet but I loved it so much and man I loved the way the writing was, like I’m speechless tbh.

@kissingkpop okay so I find their blog so cool because they are one of the firsts that have tumblr (at least as far as I know) videos like fanfiction videos there are moodboards and fanfic from what I’m sure of, but I just find the video aspect so cool tbh

@miss-noo-na I think I’m just going to recommend everything they write it is quality like brand new converse (sorry first thing that came into my head) one thing got to do is request when the requests are open of course, because wow. They write a lot more smut then fluff but like either way whatever they write is so good tbh. (Although I’ll recommend Mark’s Frostbite)

@seventeen-teen-teen-trash I spent a lot of time reading all of the college aus from them and it was 10/10 it really got a lot of plot for most of it being written in texts messages!  

Talent is all I stan, and it’s not only kpop idols but the fanfic writers, top-notch quality I love them all, and I probably missed quite a few. I’ll probably be screaming later be like why didn’t you include this writer!!! But I’m satisfied with it now.

(I tried my best to write this, I tried to get this done over the course of 3 days. Because I wanted all the descriptions to be to my taste. But literally they aren’t I could probs tell you more about each author but like my mind is drawing constant blanks at this moment. But seriously there is a thing for everyone I think? But I hope you like these writers!!)

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kimonobeat · 6 years

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aiko bon “Profile Interview” Chapter 1 (Part 2/3)

ーPersonality-wise, would you say you were a pretty lively little kid?

aiko: I’m an extremely positive kind of person. I was a real weirdo as a kid. Like, so weird you wouldn’t have been surprised to hear I’d accidentally eaten an eraser. (laughs) In the middle of winter I’d go out in short-sleeve shirts because that’s what I wanted to wear. My absolute favorite clothes were this floor tile beige shirt made out of something similar to gauze, and another shirt in the same color with sunflowers embroidered onto them. I’d pair them with a skirt that was a slightly darker beige, and yellow/white sandals. I went to a piano lesson dressed like that, shivering and sniveling, and my piano teacher told me to go home. I think that was in December or January? I was riding my red “Candy Candy” bicycle home from that and spotted my dad on the other side of the intersection, so I shouted, “Daddy! I went to the piano teacher’s house and she told me to go home!” real loud. But then my dad saw the way I was dressed and he said, “Very funny!” (laughs)

ーYou guys have a nice relationship. (laughs)

aiko: I did a lot of things that startled my parents. There was this lady in my neighborhood named Hama-chan. One time we were eating yakiniku with her when she started choking on a piece of meat. I saw her trying to cough it up and yelled really loudly that she had meat stuck in her ‘tailpipe’ instead of her ‘windpipe’. (laughs) Another thing that happened to me… I went to the hospital when I came down with chickenpox, and they quarantined me because it was contagious. I kept saying, “I didn’t do anything wrong, so do I gotta be here?” They made us wait for a really long time. As soon as my mom said, “It’s getting pretty late… Mom’s tired too,” I ran all the way up to the receptionist’s desk and said, “EXCUSE ME buuuuut is it Aiko’s turn yet? IS IT MY TURN YET???” two times really, really loudly. (laughs) We used to go to public baths every now and then. Anytime someone with tattoos was there, I’d say, “MISTER! LOOK! You missed a spot!” (laughs) All they could really do was laugh and say, “Listen kiddo, I got these ‘cause I’m bad. They’re drawn on.” Then I’d just keep asking more questions. “You mean you can’t take those OFF?!”

ーYou’ve got such a great personality. (laughs)

aiko: Do I? (laughs) Kids are really good at pointing out people who are different or weird when they see them, now that I think of it. I was too. When I was on the train, I’d say, “Mooom, look at that lady……” and she told me not to point. So then the next time I said, “Mooom, look at that lady. Mooom,” pointing with my whole fist instead of my finger. (laughs) She told me she wasn’t even mad, it just made her laugh.

ーYou can’t really be mad when something like that happens. (laughs)

aiko: Also, apparently my mom cried in front of the washing machine in the bathroom whenever she and my dad got into a fight. She told me anytime she ever did that, I’d come over and tug on her apron saying, “Mooom. Moooom, hang in there.” She told me I’d always do that to cheer her up.

ーThis might be rude of me, but you sound like you were a pretty funny kid. (laughs)

aiko: It’s fine, I think I was too. (laughs) But I did other things that’d make me wanna pull my hair out as an adult. When I was in like, elementary school, I’d draw pictures of naked girls. I’m not really sure why I drew pictures like that, other than because I’d seen them in movies…… I guess my bad daydreaming habit goes back pretty far, huh? I also liked bandages. I’d wrap my leg in bandages and pretend like I’d sprained it even though it didn’t hurt. I enjoyed the bandages but then I’d get my leg caught on my bike and actually hurt myself, stuff like that. I really did like bandages a lot. I guess I just liked things that looked ‘vulnerable’. Like, “Oh, dear me…”

ーIt made you feel like the heroine of something.

aiko: Yeah, that’s it. I’d say lines out loud to myself, like I was acting out a drama all on my own. I didn’t like getting attention though. I really hated it when people fussed over me. People would all touchy-feely with me because I was the only small child in my extended family at the time, asking me to sing them songs and stuff. They’d all start laughingーand I realize now that I just made them happyーbut I thought they were all ridiculing me. I got super embarrassed and really hated it.

ーSo you say, but you’re not really the shy type, are you?

aiko: Not at all. So I started doing it for money. (laughs) And not small change either. I’d tell them, “I’m not THAT cheap. 500 yen please.” (laughs)

ーYou already had the soul of an entertainer. (laughs)

aiko: Right? You know how there’s that game you play with babies where you hold out scissors, money and a pen, and whichever one they grab first is supposed to predict their future? I grabbed the money first. Maybe that’s why. (laughs) But I really hated like, New Year’s for that reason. I’ve got a lot of relatives so of course I got a lot of money on New Year’s, and I always held my tongue then, but other than that I absolutely hated getting so much attention.

ーWhy is that?

aiko: I’ve always hated taking naps. I really hated having to open up to people too. But on New Year’s we’d go to a bunch of different people’s houses and stay up late at night, which meant I wanted to sleep, but I didn’t want to sleep at someone else’s house. I’d be so tired I couldn’t keep my eyes open and yet I still insisted that I didn’t want to sleep. I’d just wait until we were in the car and fall asleep on the way home. I even did that pretty recently! I went out for some drinks and couldn’t bring myself to say I was hammered in front of people. I hate letting people see me when I’m weak… I also really hated being the topic of discussion when I was little. I hated that… even though I was almost like, desperate to do things that people would end up talking about later. (laughs) Whenever people talked about something I did, I’d go hang out at the candy store and waste time until I thought they’d be done talking about me.

ーWere you a timid kid?

aiko: I don’t really think I was. When I got hurt I’d cry about it, go home, and that’d be it. One time my friend kicked a metal trash can at the park and it smacked me square in the face. I’d also pretended to be Ultraman and got dragged by a swing, all kinds of stuff. I’d just play and play like nothing even happened. Oh, speaking of which, one time I brought a dead cat home with me. I dragged this dead as a door nail cat I found floating in a ditch behind me like an umbrella, then I put it in a brand spanking new Hello Kitty toolbox I’d just bought and brought it home. I thought I needed to bury it because it was dead. When I got home I stood in the doorway and said, “Daaaad! It’s DEAD! WAHHH!”... he took one look at me, closed the door, and locked it. (laughs) You see, my dad got up for the day around the time I got home from school. He was so stunned that I showed him a dead cat as soon as he woke up, he must’ve thought I was crazy. (laughs) He wouldn’t let me back in the house, so I just went to the park and buried it instead.

ーNothing really scared you, did it?

aiko: Not really. I’m scared of them now, but as a kid I was totally fine with roller coasters and stuff like that. I used to get on rides meant for kids meant for elementary school kids when I was in kindergarten. The attendants would ask, “What grade are you in, miss?” and I’d say, “I’m in first grade!” They’d say, “Really? How old are you?” And I’d tell them I was 7. I’d always get busted when I’d lie about my age and they asked me what year I was born. My dad was so concerned that I’d get caught.

ーSo what DID scare you?

aiko: I was so scared of exploding noises, like party poppers and balloons popping. And clocks chiming on the hour. My mom and dad would fix the time on the clock by asking for the time over the phone, and it scared me out of my mind. For example, one time my dad had this clock, and my mom had the time-telling number on the phone saying countdown out loud: “3:30:25! 26! 27!” Seeing my dad fix the clock scared me more than anything. I was scared, terrified even, of the way it was robotically counting out the numbers. I didn’t like the lack of emotion in it I guess. Maybe it just scared me that it was saying it really loudly without any feeling in it. People are loud when they’re fighting because they’re full of emotions, right? That didn’t really scare me at all, I was just scared of how cool and disinterested it sounded. Oh, and also the opening theme song to “Mito Komon”. The “DUN, DUN DUN DUN” in the beginning made me cry every time.

ーWhat kind of TV shows did you like back then?

aiko: I used to watch stuff like The Drifters’ show “8-Ji Da yo! Zenin Shuugou (It’s 8’o’Clock! Everybody Gather ‘Round!)” a lot. I’d just laugh and laugh. But anytime I watched “Oretachi Hyoukin Zoku (We’re the Hyoukin Clan)”, my dad would be mad at me and tell me not to watch stuff like that… even though he was watching it and laughing too. (laughs) I also loved “Hirake! Ponkikki (Open Up, Ponkikki!)” and would watch that a lot too. My favorite cartoons were “Marvelous Melmo” and “Asari-chan”. Of course, I loved music shows since I loved singing so much though. I hear that I was telling people I was gonna be a singer as early as 3 years old. My mom mostly likes Japanese pop music like Southern All Stars, and my dad likes classical music, soul, The Beatles, that kind of thing. Seems like my dad wanted to be singer when he was young too. (laughs) My love of music is probably my parents’ doing.

ーI bet you sang 24/7 at home, didn’t you?

aiko: I’d lock myself in my room and sing constantly like I was doing a one-person concert. I played music on my ladybug-shaped Columbia record player. Sometimes I’d get sent to my room whenever my parents got mad at me for doing something bad, but since I had my piano and my record player in there, I had a pretty good time anyway. (laughs)

ーWhat songs did you sing a lot?

aiko: They have an 8 mm video of me singing “High School Lullaby” (by The Imokin Trio) or something, where I’m just going, “But you’re so cold, so cold~” (laughs) I used to sing Pink Lady songs a lot too. Singing, “I lied~ to you~ And now I don’t know what to do~” and dancing. I also liked the song “Akai Hana Shiroi Hana (Red Flower White Flower)ーthe one that goes “I’m gonna pick~ a red flower and give it to him”ーwhich my mom used to sing for me. I really liked folk songs like that one. I also loved “Minna no Uta (Songs for Everyone)”. And Julie (Sawada Kenji) and Go Hiromi, I liked them a lot too. Oh yeah! I used to really love Akira’s voice, from Finger 5! I was so small back then that I didn’t understand what the name “Finger 5” even meant, but I absolutely loved his voice. Man did I love Shioni though.

ー’Shioni’?

aiko: I used to call Go Hiromi “Shioni” as a kid. I’d say “Shioni! Shioni!” and kiss the TV. (laughs) It felt so strange being on Music Station with ‘Shioni’ for the first time. He said, “Isn’t this awesome? Check out my belt!” and showed me the belt with a lion face he was wearing. It felt SO weird to me. I was like, “Shioni is really right here in front of me right now… ?”

ーWas there anyone else you admired at the time?

aiko: Matsuda Seiko and Matsumoto Iyo, I guess? I went to one of Seiko’s concerts and got to meet her up close and personal in her dressing room. I was SO thrilled. She was reaaaally pretty and cute! When I got to meet Kyonkyon (Koizumi Kyoko), I remember thinking to myself how cute she was too. One time I was filming a music video in the cameraman’s personal studio apartment, and he told me to come upstairs to the 2nd floor with him so he could introduce me to his wife… His wife was having wine with Kyonkyon! (laughs) I was so shocked when she was like, “Oh look, it’s aiko!” Idols from that time period don’t really feel like they ever existed in the same world as the rest of us, you know? They were felt imaginary almost, not human, so it’s always a huge surprise when I actually get to meet them.

ーYou said you made up your mind about being a singer when you were 3 years old. Did you ever think about switching paths along the way?

aiko: I wanted to be a veterinarian too, but my dad told me I wouldn’t be able to because I was a dingbat. So I didn’t. I gave up on that real quick, because I realized he was right. Then I was fixated on being a singer, which was just as unlikely. I was really serious about it though, so I made a promise to my mom and dad: “In the future when I’m a singer, you’ll get to go golfing every day, Dad. And Mom, I’m gonna buy you a big diamond ring.” I’d been telling them that ever since I was in kindergarten. They both said, “Wow, please do! Can’t wait!” But then I grew up, and when I debuted, my dad was so old that he couldn’t go golfing every day anymore. Or I guess I should say, he’d already graduated from golf by then. (laughs) My mom is, well, my mom, so my grandma and I had already bought her a diamond ring. It forced me to rethink it, you know?

ーBy the way, were there any other aiko baby talk words like you calling Go Hiromi ‘Shioni’?

aiko: There were! I used to say “chop it” instead of “stop it”, and “p’soon” instead of “spoon”. And “humby” instead of “yummy”. I feel like there were other ones but I just can’t remember them right now.

ーDid you look more like a tomboy up until you were in kindergarten, or really girly?

aiko: I think I was a lot more boyish, ‘cause I was one of those kids who only wore pants. I cried when they made me wear a kimono for Shichi Go San because it was so tight and uncomfortable.

ーWhat hairstyle did you have?

aiko: My hair was long. It was one length almost all the way down to my butt, with a slight wave to it. My dad Shigenobu really liked long hair, so he always grew his out to about his hips. Once when I was in 3rd grade, though, I secretly went to a hair salon and got a bowl cut. He got SO mad, so then I grew it out again. The shortest my hair’s ever been in my entire life was around the time I was singing “Rosie”, after I’d made my debut. Other than that, it’s been pretty long. My parents didn’t mind if I got it permed really, so a couple times when I was a little kid I basically had an afro… No, wait, those were wigs, they were wigs. (laughs) There are pictures of me when I was like, 2 or 3 years old wearing a wig and a black bikini, sitting in a chair and eating an apple like that one chick in the movie “Emanuelle”. (laughs)

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#aiko #aiko yanai #yanai aiko #aiko bon #translation

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nickikpopart · 6 years

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Backside Story: „How to draw LOVE“

“Different Choice” Jimins Part

Jimin POV

The next morning after the night were i broke up with Yoongi, I packed my stuff in Boxes. I still couldn´t believe what he did to me. How could he lie to me all these month? Cheating on me with Hoseok. I was so angry and sad at the same time. Yoongi didn´t came home not even in the morning. So I had time to pack everything. After that I called my boss to get some days off. He didn´t ask why, but the sound of my voice must have said a lot to him. I also told him that I want to change my worktimes, cause I don’t wanted to work with Hoseok at the same time anymore. I didn´t wanted to see him, cause I cannot forget what he did too. After lunch, Tae came and helped me to put my boxes in his car. I was glad that I could stay for a while in his apartment. He is truly a great friend. I made a last look back at the building were all my dreams crumbled into pieces overnight. I just want to forget now and try to move on.

Tae´s POV

After I got the message from Jimin last night I was going back to his flat and we talked the half of the night. Around 3 am, I left him so he could sleep a little. I told him, that I would come back after lunch to pick him up. It was very quiet when we packed all his stuff in car, which was a lot more than I thought. He needs definitely to sort out some things. He can’t take everything with him. I told him that and he agreed. Soon we arrived my apartement.

Others POV

“Jimin, you have so many boxes. We need to put some of these into the basement of my apartment.” Tae said to him with a shocked face.

“I know Tae, I will sort out some of this. I don’t need all of it. I just don’t wanted to left anything there. So I don’t have to go back.” Jimin said, while holding two boxes in his hands. They needed at least 2 hours to get the car empty. After that they were falling on the couch.

“Wahhh Jimin, i`m so done. I can´t anymore, btw… how do you feel?” Tae asked him, while getting up and walk to the kitchen. “Do you want some Water to?”

“I´m not really ok Tae, but I think after some time I will feel better and yes I want some water to. No need to ask, u see how much i`m sweating.” Jimins voice had a sad sound, Tae could tell. He heard it. He took a bottle of water out of the fridge and two glasses from the sink. Sitting back on the sofa, he opened the bottle and poured some water in both.

“Tae are you ok too?” Jimin asked him after drink some.

“I´m slightly ok. At least I was not together with Hoseok, just crush on him. I never thought he would doing things like that.” Tae was still angry, that he could fall for a guy like him. He thought Hoseok would be different than the others he met before, but he failed.

“I understand you, but I think there is someone else you find quite interesting am I right?” Jimin said while making some pictures and post them on his FB-Account. “Moving in with my best friend was a good choice.”

“Jimin, please but yeah Jin is actually quite interesting.” Tae said with a smile on his face.

Soon Tae had to leave Jimin alone to go to work but he would be back late in the evening. After Tae was gone, Jimin started to unpack and sort out some of the things. It was a rollercoaster ride of emotion. All albums with the pictures, he made during their time together. He decided to throw them away with all the little gifts he got from Yoongi, as far as he didn´t had forgot their anniversaries or his birthday. Then he found a little yellow box with a blue butterfly on it. He didn´t saw that box for about 2 years now and he was knowing already what could be in there. He opened the box and found the little brown/white plushy bunny, which he got from Jungkook. He knew it was him who left it even he didn´t saw him. The piece of paper was still there to. He opened it and instandly his thoughts were drifting away to the last day he saw him

“Be happy Jimin. Kookie”

Flashback…

Since Jimin was meeting Jungkook for the first time on his Birthday, he came almost every day, to drink his coffee and to draw. Jimin liked him from the beginning and he thought that Jungkook might liking him to. He saw it in the way he always looked at him. But Jimin had already a Boyfriend, so even he gathered feelings for him somehow, he couldn´t make that decision to tell it Jungkook. So the days are going always the same. Until….

11.10.2015

Jimin had late work and Jungkook was there like always to talk with him and of cause he used his free time to sit down and watched him drawing. He liked his pictures. After some minutes sitting down, he received a call from his Boyfriend. He excused himself from Jungkook to talk to him. Not noticing that Jungkook startled by what he was hearing and immediately got back to his drawing when Jimin looked at him.

“Hey Babe, yes i´m home in 3 hours and I will cook something for you ok.”

“No, its ok. You can bring actually some Wine if u want.”

“Love u too, see you later then.”

Jimin didn´t know that Jungkook heard everything and was sitting himself beside him again. Jungkook didn’t looked at him during their talking, just concentrate on the drawing. Jimin was little surprised that he was so silent after he came back to him.

“So Kookie, how are u doing?” Jimin asked him

“I´m ok. Just as usual.” Jungkook tried to shorten their talk.

“Is everything ok? You are so quiet today. Not like the other time.” Jimin could tell something was off.

“No, everything is fine. Actually I have to go now. If u don´t mind.” Jungkook said while packing his pencil and Sketchbook in his bag.

“Oh ok, no problem. I need to work anyway now. See u tomorrow then.” Jimin said with a smile.

“Yeah see you Jimin.” Jungkooks voice cracked a little, Jimin could hear it but didn´t ask Jungkook about it.

On the next day, Jimin was waiting for Jungkook to come but he didn´t. He needed to talk to him. Actually he wasn´t feeling well, because Yoongi had stood him up the night before. Jimin thought that Jungkook was the best to lighten his mood. Tomorrow was his Birthday, he told that Jungkook a while ago, so he hoped he would come to meet him then.

Jimin had to work on his birthday, but he could go home earlier. His boss allowed it. He hoped to see Jungkook today, so he entered the Café with excitement. But…

"Jimin, the guy who had visit you every day here had left something for you.” His Boss Namjoon told him. “He was here earlier and told me to give you that.”Namjoon gave Jimin a little yellow Box with a blue Butterfly on it. Jimin gulped and got suddenly silent. So he wouldn´t even see him today, he thought.

“Did he said something else?” Jimin was asking while shaking a little.

“No nothing else, just that.” Namjoon told him and went back into the Kitchen.

Jimin had let himself falling back on the bank behind him and looked at the box in his hand. After he took a deep breath he opened the box and found a little brown/white plushy bunny. Beside that there was a message. “Be happy Jimin. Kookie” He felt sad while reading it. He got overwhelmed and tears were flashing into his eyes. He was started to think, what if he had gathered the courage to confess to Jungkook that he liked him. Would he be there with him today? He looked at the bunny and said to himself: “What if I had did.”, not knowing, while lost in his thoughts, that Jungkook came back to watch him from outside the window. After that the days were going slowly over and Jimin never saw Jungkook again. He thought about him sometimes, but things were going to be better with Yoongi now. So he stopped thinking about him and putted that plushy bunny with the box somewhere in the basement of their apartement. Not know yet that it would come back to him in the right time.

“Jimin, i´m back home.” Tae said after he went into the room. Jimin was freezing after he heard him, which brought him back into reality. Not to face him yet, Jimin put the bunny hasty back in the small box with a sad smile and then putting it in the big box in front of him.

“Sorry I was just… “ Jimin stuttered and putted the big box beside the bed.

“It ok, btw what are u hiding there?” Tae asked him out of curiosity.

“Nothing, just a memory that I want to keep” Jimin just said.

“Oh, ok. Want to eat Dinner. I bought chicken and beer.” Tae was asking with a big smile.

“Yeah ok. I´m actually hungry.” Jimin answered him while still looking at the box. He was thinking about Jungkook more often since he talked with JJK1013 and he still thought if he had made a different Choice in that time. He started to like JJK1013 lately cause he reminded him a little bit of Jungkook. The way he wrote when they are chatting. He needed to talk to Jin about it.

HOW TO DRAW LOVE AU ( 6-7-8/? )

Jimin follows a well known artist on Facebook; not knowing it is Jungkook; a boy he met two years ago and fell for despite being in a relationship. Jungkook suddenly disappeared on him without saying why and left Jimin with a lot of “what ifs”.

so here my next Part of the flashback, Jimins part this time. hope u guys like it. @golden-kookmin

#jikook au #jikook social media au #kookmin au #goldenkookmin au

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mainvocalminghao · 6 years

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The wonderful and beautiful @honeyjaehwan tagged me to to this so I thought i’ll do it now!! Thank you so much for tagging me sam omg,, i really loved reading about you, thank you for sharing it !!

below the cut cause its a lil long

appearance; So I’m?? 5′7, 160lbs I think! I have an undercut and my hair color changes frequently but right now it’s black! I’m white and I have horrible acne omg,, im also always covered in fur i have exactly 20 animals in and out of my house wow

personality; I’m kind of really awkward, I worry a lot and think a lot but I’m better with it when I warm up to people!! I rly like making people smile and just being friendly tbh, I think a lot of the time that’ll get me out of a sad mood more than anything else. I also try rly hard to be funny and it can probably get annoying sometimes omg beware. I also cry and get sad a lot kdlsjsjf

ability; I’m honestly not good at a lot of things?? I’d like to say I’m a decent artist, paper and makeup but I’m trying to improve on both! I also (used to?? I haven’t in a while) make armor for cosplay and sew a little bit, I’m not good at the sewing part but I’m good at armor! I also work in a pet health foods store so im Very Knowledgeable on dog food

hobbies; uh!! I guess I explained that above, drawing, makeup and costume making. I also love writing a lot!! Although I’m not very good,,!! I used to read like 20 books in a week haha but I’ve stopped for now because I have difficulties concentrating recently

experiences; I’m honestly probably too young to have done much but I guess? The experiences to come can count! I’m graduating high school in a month (half a year earlier than the rest of my class wahhh !!) and in January I’m starting at a cosmetology school! I’m very thankful for that ;;; I just hope I can pay for it all in time oml

my life; I’m honestly not sure what this entails but so far I think things are going well, especially now that I have things planned out ;; before I was worried and thinking about dropping out of school because I thought I wasn’t good at anything and that I couldn’t get anywhere, but I’ve found a passion for things again and weirdly enough kpop has brought me to that. So I’m very thankful for that omg ;; can u believe vixx stopped me from dropping out of school its crazy

relationships; Right now things seem okay? I lost a lot of friends when I left my high school for the college program I’m in right now unfortunately, but I’m beyond thankful for the ones that kept in contact ;; as for more than friendship relationships I’ve only had one, and unfortunately she made things much harder than they needed to be for me, so I had to let her go. We’re still very good friends tho! And for family, everyone but my immediate family lives in germany so i miss them a lot ;;

random stuff; I !! love !! big !! dogs !! I have 4 large dogs!! I love them all!! I love cats also,, my son is a cat his name is Salem and I trust him w my life,,, but you know who i love more?? kim ravi,, I keep a photocard of him in my phone case oops omg, also I listen to exo’s Power, astro’s Baby and vixx lr’s Whisper at least six times a day each probably. i also used to love anime a lot like, dont tell anyone my friend got me into vixx 2 years ago by showing me beautiful liar and comparing leo and ravi to two anime boys i was obsessed with at the time....wow lmao i dont think ive watched anime in like over half a year now

♥

I’ll tag you guys to do this cause I think it’d be really interesting to read and learn more about you but you don’t have to!! if you read this all I’m sorry omg but thank you !!!

@genericgayanime @wonshiks-tiddy @tvixx @ottokaji-vixx @leo-nardo-di-taekwoon @sprouthyuk @boopshik and @1eohyuk!!! ♥ (and anyone else who wants to!!)

#personal stuff ig?#not kpop

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starlitghosts · 7 years

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Oh look it's me again but okey BIGBANG & VIXX

u cant quit me i see c;this is long so:

Bigbang:My first bias: Top. I liked him instantly. The first time I saw him was The Fantastic Baby MV and it was like ??? bro what an aesthetic ???? THAT HAIR COLOR ?????????? AMAZING. His rapping is out of this world and I totally fell for that. Then learning more about his personality really solidified him as awesome in my book. I like that he has a lot of layers.Your current bias and why: Daesung. I still love Top and he’s a close second favorite, but it eventually kind of hit me how amazing Dae is. I love him for his amazing singing of course, but what set him apart for me is just the kind of person he is. The way he’s been through such tough things and came out still smiling and wanting to make other people happy is so… profound? He inspires me. His faith really speaks to me as well. He’s not as loud about it as Youngbae but reading how he talked about it when he had that period of struggle really did touch me.Favourite song: This is hard to answer… so I’ll give my top five? No order: Last Dance, If You, Fantastic Baby, Haru Haru, um… Tell Me Goodbye… Bang Bang Bang… that’s more than five… :)Favourite MV: I’m gonna sound stale if I say Fantastic Baby but… that what it is…OTP: I don’t do shipping stuff so I don’t have one, but I’m always happy when I see Dae with Top.Member you think has the best smile: K A N G D A E S U N G. But they all have cute smiles.Favourite choreography: I KEEP SAYING FANTASTIC BABY TO EVERYTHING BUT I LOVE TO DO THAT DANCE IT’S SO FUN. If I can cheat I’ll say I like the choreo for Ringa Linga a lot.Favourite era: Alive era!Do you own any merchandise: Alive Top ver., some posters, photos, a shirt, a GD hat, and a cheap knockoff ring that looks like one Dae wore lol. I need more tbhhh. And I wanna get MADE but not being able to pick the cover I want is annoying. I want the blank one so I can do something cool with it. :cHave you seen them live: No. :( But I will someday! And I wanna go to Japan for a Dae solo concert too. I WISH I COULD GO TO HIS UPCOMING DOME TOUR. WAHHH.Favourite voice/singer: K̜̙̞ͥ̿̊̐̓̚Á̖͕̀ͥ͐̉̋ͅN̩͇͎ͩ̒̏ͣG̤͛ͦ̄ͤ̐ͩ͑ͥ ̰̩͎̬̊̈́̍͋͂D͕̻̬͓ͧͨͣ͊͂̉A͙̩̞̖̰͓̩̫ͮ̔͒̾E̱̼̽S̞̪̮̱̩̙̫̲ͬ̍͑ͥ̽͂̒U͓̜̟͓̺̗͈̪͈ͫ̃ͭ́̒N͉̹̫̼̖̦͓̦̆ͪ͌̾̽͆G̯̮̓ͪ̔ Favourite dancer: Choom Top.Vixx:My first bias: Hongbin. My first Vixx MV was Error so that probably says it all lol. I really loved the story and his acting in it. I also tried to learn the choreo and I didn’t even realize I was following him at first – I PICKED HIM BECAUSE HE HAS A COOL SHIRT IN THE PRACTICE VIDEO THAT’S IT – but then I connected the dots and was like. Oh. WELL. YEAH I GUESS I LIKE THAT GUY.Your current bias and why: Keken aka Jaehwannie aka Jyani aka Kenjhumma aka DEOP. At first I didn’t notice him as much but once I started watching things besides MVs and stuff I came to love his personality. I’m always drawn to silly, funny ridiculous people so I couldn’t help it. I was in denial for a little bit though because I felt like I was betraying Binnie… BUT I JUST. HAD TO ACCEPT MY FATE. Honestly, he makes me smile and laugh a lot with all the goofy little things he does (+ his cute aegyo but that goes without saying) and every time he sings it blows me away. I JUST. LOVE HIM AND WANNA BE HIS FRIEND U FEEL.Favourite song: I answered these out of order and left this one for last because how?? does one?? simply?? choose??? ONE??? I’ll do the same thing I did for BB and put top five in no order: Voodoo Doll, Fantasy, GR8U, Love Letter, O T T O K A J I….. if I keep going I’m going to list all of them eventually. :CCCCCCFavourite MV: I gotta go with Fantasy. It came out VERY shortly after I became a fan (I’m outing myself for how short a time I’ve been on this ride but w/e), and it really solidified that I wanted to be a Starlight. It just has that kind of atmosphere and aesthetic that really draws me in. I had SO much fun with the stories in all of the Conception trilogy and Fantasy was my favorite part.OTP: I don’t ship, but my fave friendship in general is probably just N and everyone. N and everybody. His role as mom is hilarious but also really cute. Actually. FORGET IT, I JUST LOVE EVERYONE BEING WITH EVERYONE BECAUSE THEY’RE A PRECIOUS FAMILY.Member you think has the best smile: I don’t… know how to pick? I mean, obviously Hongbin’s smile is bright enough to sustain planet earth if the sun ever dies but I like to see them all smile. c:Favourite choreography: Love Equation is a contender since it’s so fun and has a lot of cute moments. Fantasy is amazing but we all know that. THEN THERE’S VOODOO DOLL. So. Idk. There’s my top three.Favourite era: Kratos/The Closer, because it’s the first one where I was able to be present for the whole thing and experience it with other Starlights which has been a blast.Do you own any merchandise: For all the shorter time I’ve been a fan… a lot lol. Their latest CD autographed by Binnie (I ordered two so I’d get two autographs but got him twice LMAO), Kratos autographed by Ken, Ker, Boys’ Record, the travel diary, official posters, some little fanmade goods (pins, polaroids, posters, stickers, a bracelet), some PCs and postcards, two shirts and a sweater. I think. That’s it. Waiting for the Seasons Greeting 2017 to arrive though~ And I gotta buy Ravi’s mini-album soon…Have you seen them live: NO BUT I WILL. I HAVE TO.Favourite voice/singer: Can I just, like, say all of them? They each have a unique quality to their voice that I love a lot. I can’t pick out a single one on their own because they make such a nice whole. Favourite dancer: HAKYEON HAKYEON HAKYEON HAKYEON. Sometimes he’s so graceful and I’m just like OOOOOO:

… I talked sooo much. This is gross.

#ask meme #props to anyone who read this tbh #yokoisacoolname #asks

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krystynasierbien · 7 years

Text

There’s a Glenn Greenwald in all our Heads — He Mustn’t Be Destroyed.

So you found my message in a bottle on Copacabana beach, or in the sea; which evidently you got in to ‘fetch’; Congratulations,

Hiya,

It is right now twilight in my leafy sanctuary, and the amphibian purr of the rainforest — that ethereal constant, by now so familiar and so dear I know that to it, I have surrendered an enclave of my being — has prompted first, inclination to cleanse these half century worn muscles with my nightly yoga skit on the porch as the dogs run around outside like mad cats beneath the encroaching romance of the moonlight, then the compulsion to write this letter, by hand and by candlelight to you, a complete stranger, with free time only a lack of internet access could realistically inspire.

You see it poured with rain earlier; there was yet another power-cut, and the lines have been down for hours now. Which is too bad. My sort-of-boss wanted to get in touch this evening to discuss whatever legal issues hover over my latest, and for that reason, presumably, LOL, still yet to be published article.

The delay’s all been thanks to The Deatheaters at GCHQ: Who once again have gotten in touch with their specious appeals to “wahhh, ah, don’t publish, national security!” when in this instance all they seem to want to do, in fact all they ever seem to want to do is cover their own sorry incompetent asses. And don’t get me started on Professor Sir David Omand De Pfeffel III or whatever his name isn’t — that guy. That sneering, contemptuous, duckbilled platypus of a man who, if not shuffling along the corridors of the War Studies department at Kings College London, mumbling to himself and his colleagues about “The Terrorists” can be found on UK television waving classified documents redacted to the point of incoherency in Channel 4 News’ John Snow’s face; lambasting him for “not covering the story accurately” and causing “needless fear and confusion.” Omand’s open disdain for the public is obscene and astounding. The UK is astounding. But would Omand debate me Live, and face to face, about the broader implications of mass surveillance at its current technological velocity, hmmm? No, of course he wouldn’t. Because obviously he knows that GG (emphasis MINE) would wipe the floor with him.

Stepping back, you know it’s actually quite funny, ironic even. I think? I’ve mentioned this in interviews before of course although it certainly bears repeating here too. My sort-of boss, this guy, this Ebay guy, Pierre Omidyar. Mmmm-hmmm, that’s right, get this: Well, Pierre can’t get in touch with me a lot of the time because of the outages, yet he’s a multi-billionaire computer and technology whizz with coalescing political, philanthropic and entrepreneurial goals (that’s PPE to you, British establishment! LOL.) The point is none of that stuff makes a difference here. Not money nor status nor expertise, and tidbits such as these keep me grounded. You know, those little reminders that even one of the most influential and tech-savvy people in the world, not to mention a bestselling author and journalist whom reports on cutting edge computer technologies as weaponised by the burgeoning global security state, aka yours truly, me, Glenn Greenwald, that’s right bitches, are subject to the whim of a tropical downpour and temperamental public infrastructure, just like everybody else. Which means often Pierre and I are unable to email or even call one other for this reason, let alone encrypt our communications. Hell — I can barely encrypt!

But no matter because here in the rainforest. The rainforest in which I live. The rainforest from which I conduct most of my adversarial business in between regular trips back and forth to the US to attend MSM interviews & a variety of public and private speaking engagements, nature’s obstacles usually prevail. And I respect that.

I love not man the less; but nature more. I love not man the less, but nature more. This quote, by Lord Byron of all people rolled over in my head as I walked the dogs today, and it seems to make more sense with the so-called passage of so-called time. Nevertheless civilisation, free speech, civility, order — not too much though — also justice, always justice, justice applied to the largest and yes at times even the most mundane aspects of public life, has really always been my passion. And yet still, still, I feel most at home in the lushness, solitude and natural lawlessness of the jungle; where civilisation’s most concrete hallmarks and affectations are relatively scarce. I am conscious of this duality and honestly I’m still not sure what to make of it. What I do know is that the eleven adorable rescue pups David and I adopted from the local santuário animal a couple of years back really have transformed our lives for the better. We feel a deep-seated affection for our unruly four-legged companions; who have become a necessary counterforce to the many stresses our working hours burden us with. Each has a unique personality and complex emotional needs. This is how I personally have experienced every dog I’ve crossed paths with in all my forty nine years. And you know what? To me that’s life affirming. You see the dogs help me help myself let go of all that rage. The kind of debilitating rage only interaction with you the people could ever insight (LOL).

The birds living here with us in this sprawling primeval forestry we call home love it when it rains, but they sing louder when it pours, and whenever they do, and whenever it does, echoes of real-life tweets streak through the sodden air and then into my grateful ears whenever the wind’s blowing in my favour. The humidity here reminds me of my home state Florida, a place I left an inordinately long time ago now. The strangest of personal circumstances tend to develop in the lives of Floridians who actually leave Florida by the way. The meme is true. I am, by no memes, an exception to this ‘rule’ and yes I’ve certainly led a variegated life so far. Like many if not most people have. It’s not that I’m secretive about my past, nor about how I got here either, per se. It’s just that it’s none of your damn business is it really. And I think perhaps you should respect that. Enough about Cocky Boys already, pedants. It’s been done. Twice already. Whatever.

I was a member elect of the *drumroll* Lauderdale Lakes City Council recreation advisory board by the time I was eight. So admittedly I’ve been aware of this ‘game’ for a long time now, starting my own journey on the other side of the public/private tracks before relinquishing my post a year later to pursue other projects, namely cub scouts, at age nine (LOL).

I ran for council even, unsuccessfully it would eventually transpire although boy did I learn a whole lot about US electoral politics during that election campaign, when I was seventeen. Growing up, my grandfather was a Lauderdale Lakes City councillor for many years — as far back as I can remember in fact — and it was from him I learnt that the principles and constitutional rights of all must be upheld ‘doggedly’ (LOL) no matter how odious that token, idea, or indeed even that person might be.

I’m actually a bigger picture kinda guy really, and I’m funny and nice as anything in real life. But I also know the intricacies of the system because I’ve been there, okay, an insider of various descriptions, with first hand experience of these institutions in operational flux as their representatives often superficially interact with, lie to and clash with one another. You have no idea how much of a mess all this is of course. But I do. I know the system’s geared towards the moneyed, the unashamed pursuit of the ego; that in a comparable sense the law exists to infantilise, imprison and fine the unruly masses while invariably loop-de-looping for those wealthier entities, who admittedly I jam with from time to time, even though it’s obvious, self-evident maybe, that even ‘The Good Billionaires’ see buying political power as but one manifestation of the natural order of things. Which troubles me of course. Only how much really? And what if they’re right? I’ve heard about the sinister echoes along D.C. corridors: I’ve seen the grubby fingermarks lining the walls and yes I’ve spoken to the beasts that frequent the hallways and the conference rooms. (Obama voice) I get it, really.

There really are glimmers of hope though and yet rarely do we ever focus on them. As I write these words a small but dedicated army of human rights activists and free speech lawyers are in perpetual battle with the encroaching security state to carve out and maintain as safe a legal space as possible for whistleblowers and political dissidents alike. These are people who use their skills for good. Who refuse to serve ‘corporate interests’ and choose instead to secure the rights of whistleblowers everywhere by bolstering as best they can the safety net that whistleblowers are legally guaranteed.

I upheld the constitutional rights of a corporation myself before. A tobacco company no less. Whatever god is knows that I have. But I soon realised I was emptier for it. That I was merely existing. I started to blog soon-after before upping sticks, leaving my life in New York along with a relationship that had sadly long since run its course behind, and moved to Rio in ’05, where I was blessed enough to meet my soulmate, David Miranda, and then find this wonderful paradise for us to live in before my ‘second-wind’ career of sorts really started to take off. And now the rest, as they say (LOL), is history.

I started blogging as online media began to challenge and disrepute the establishment press and, I think, redefine the global media order entirely. People liked my work (LOL); I managed to land the Salon gig; The Guardian one after that. There, I was able to draw attention to NSA mass surveillance as the story crescendoed. As the NSA insiders continued to come forward and as that constitutional gut punch, The Patriot Act, was finally being acknowledged for the abomination it so demonstrably was and continues to be within broader political discourse. However nothing could have prepared me for the Snowden thing and everything he has entailed since. It’s been the most insane thing. An admission here, just a small one because, well, I’ve been candid thus far and it only feels right that I continue in this vein. So here goes:

It actually wasn’t a Rubik’s cube Snowden was carrying with him in the hotel lobby the day we met. As the Oscar Winning film Citizen Four suggests. Nuh uh. Ed had a Rubik’s cube, which he’d planned to use for the purposes that we described to you in the film, only turns out that he lost it the day we arranged to meet. We filmed all that crap afterwards. He was closing a window in his hotel room that morning when he sneezed, and his natural response was to move his hand over his mouth, like any good boy would. As he did so, the Rubiks cube, which was in his hand at this point, I have no idea why and to this day neither does he — slipped from his grip, and then ricocheted off his cheek, somehow. As if in slow motion; right through the tiny opening in the window. I mean really, what are the odds?! He was in his hotel room on the 51st floor so obviously he couldn’t leave the building for security reasons. When Laura and I heard the news via p2p we were absolutely devastated. How could this even happen?

With only a small window (LOL) of opportunity to amend the plan; the only thing we could think of was thus: We would meet Ed in the lobby just as planned, but instead of holding a Rubik’s cube, he’d be the guy in the furthest right hand corner of the room, facing the wall. Slowly, but purposefully banging his head up against it. Only little did we know, at that exact spot, just three days previously a decorative Chao Gong had been mounted on that particular stretch of wall. So when we arrived, there Snowden was: A young, scrawny looking man (Laura & I had expected him to be of retirement age up to this point) stood there banging his head against it as three startled receptionists from the lobby-desk bustled frantically around him, offering a glass of water, pleading with him to take a seat. Laura, Ewen and I hurried over when we spotted him and when he did the same he followed us to the end of the lobby and then out into the hallway where we exchanged nervous, awkward, but sympathetic glances before stepping into the lift together, going up, exiting, and then walking up to the hotel room in complete silence.

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