#I really wish I could tell the actress playing Paula how good she is

[giantkillerjack]

Watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend from the start so I can finally finish the show, and I forgot just how badly Paula enables Rebecca's bad behavior immediately right out the gate in the biggest ways possible.

Also the actress playing Paula is fucking fantastic. Simultaneously a great best friend, an overbearing mother, an unfulfilled woman looking for better things, and an evil mastermind with an incredible voice! I'm excited to see where her character goes in the 4th season!

[idkthisisjustforfanfic]

U N P L A N N E D, part two

“Hi, uh, Y/N? It’s Harry.”

You shut the bathroom door behind you like you had a few days earlier. This time, at least, you knew what you were getting yourself into. 

“Hey, hi, how are you?”

“I’m good--how are you?”

You took a breath, one that might have been too obvious. “I’m good. I’m sorry to just--ramble on your voicemail. I just, you know, hadn’t heard from you.”

Did you expect to? No. Maybe. You didn’t know. You felt stupid and embarrassed that the words had tumbled out of your mouth.

“Yeah--I know, m’sorry about that. I actually, uh, got sick actually after I saw you last, so I was out of commission for a minute. Been busy but, yeah, I’d love to see you if you’re around.”

“I am, yeah, I’m around.”

Thank god--the last thing you needed was for him to let you down easy, be too nice to say that he didn’t have any interest in seeing you again. You’d prepared for that somewhat, worried that you were just another girl he’d slept with some random night, meaningless and casual. 

Maybe it was that--maybe he thought that buying you a nice dinner one night would be enough to put this in the past. A pang of guilt when you realized that might never be possible.

You didn’t wait for him to offer a time or date. “Are you around this weekend?”

“Uh, yeah, I am.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t mean this in a presumptuous way, but, do you want to come to mine? I know that’s not, like, a date--but, it can be nicer to do something quiet, sometimes.”

You knew what he meant--you knew enough from Glenne to know that if he was seen out in public with you there’d be all sorts of whispers about what it was and what it meant. You didn’t tell him, but you figured somewhere private was a better place to have the conversation you had to have.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Uh, tomorrow? Sunday?”

“Tomorrow’s good--if that works.”

“Sure,” he said. “I can text you my address. Do you want to say around seven?”

“Sure. Yeah, okay. I’ll see you then.”

“Yeah, looking forward to it, Y/N, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You hung up, wiped at the sweat that had formed on your forehead, and stared in the mirror. It wasn’t terrible. It was awkward, sure, but he didn’t say no and he didn’t seem to think you were crazy or weird or totally out of line asking to see him again. 

You composed a message to Lexi and Glenne. 

Y/N L/N (2:31pm): I’m seeing him tomorrow. 

Glenne Christiaansen (2:34pm): Thank god. I seriously felt like Jeff could tell something was up this morning. 

Y/N L/N (2:35pm): Well don’t be weird with him!

Lexi MacMillan (2:37pm): Glenne if you fuck anything up so help me god. 

Glenne Christiaansen (2:39pm): I’m not going to! I’m a bad liar so I would appreciate it if we could get this out in the open asap. 

Lexi MacMillan (2:39pm): Glenne...not really about you 🙄 

Glenne Christiaansen (2:39pm): I’m not trying to rush you, I just feel bad knowing!

Y/N L/N (2:40pm): I know. I’m telling him tomorrow. 

Y/N L/N (2:41pm): He said I could come to his house. So, we’ll see. I’ll keep you updated.

**

It wasn’t as far of a drive as you remembered. Maybe the high levels of cortisol coursing through you sped things up, or maybe it was the adrenaline of having just hung up with your mom. 

She knew something was up--she always knew. She called you in the morning and you couldn’t do it, you pretended all was fine and you told her that you were about to head to the grocery store. She didn’t really buy it but she let you go. 

And when you got in the car around 6:15 and found yourself with enough traffic on Santa Monica Boulevard, the guilt started to creep in again. So you dialed her number, put the phone on speaker, and made her promise to not freak out. 

She’d always been the type of mom who could keep a straight face--one who played it cool even when you told her you got detention or pricey parking ticket. She raised you by herself after she split with your dad, a guy who lived somewhere outside of Las Vegas with a new wife and a new daughter. 

She was quiet when you said it. A few seconds ticked by before she spoke. Are you sure? You took a test? Who’s the father?

You know my friend Glenne? You know how her boyfriend is also in the music business? 

She couldn’t believe it at first--a name she’d heard a few times on TV or even from you. She asked the inevitable: what are you going to do?

You told her you didn’t know. You swore you’d think it all through and keep her updated, talked her down and convinced her she didn’t need to drive down to LA from the sleepy town of Santa Paula, where you grew up on bicycles and with books in your small bedroom, reaching for a future that was always bigger than your small town. 

So sure, maybe you had a plan. As a kid you always thought about being an adult--the steps in the following order: college, job, husband, promotion, kids. Scattered in between there was the possibility of a pet, maybe even relocating outside of the city--a house with a pool, for sure. 

None of it included an unplanned pregnancy fathered by someone like him. It hadn’t ever crossed your mind. 

You cried a bit more after you hung up--your mom reminded you that you didn’t have to keep a brave face for her, but after all this time, you were used to it. 

So at least, when you pressed the button on the gate that somehow paged him inside, you felt a bit more confident about your ability to spit out the words without throwing up or crying. That was a win. 

“Hey--it should open now,” his voice was muffled through the speaker, the gate started to hum before it separated, revealing a white house tucked in the hills, a smooth driveway and a view of the city. 

He greeted you at the front door, a smile on his face when you lifted your sunglasses. 

“Hi,” he said. “Find your way okay?”

“Yeah,” you said, a nod. “It vaguely felt familiar, I definitely remember drunkenly looking out the windows on the ride home.”

He laughed--apparently comfortable enough to skip over the whole awkward we slept together phase. He stepped aside and held the door open, allowing you to step into the main foyer. 

That’s when it came back--laughing as you followed him up the stairs and down the hall, a drink in your hand. The view is priceless, he said. He showed you his bedroom, the twinkly lights of Los Angeles looked like snowflakes when you blurred your eyes, he joked that maybe you both drank too much. 

You sat beside him on the bed, told him about the time Glenne came to visit in college and you realized that there was someone who could put Lexi in her place. 

Before you knew it his hands were on your skin, your fingers fumbling with the button of his pants. You told him he didn’t have to, insecurity washed through you when you realized this type of event was probably usually reserved for models or actresses. Shouldn’t it be Lexi in your place? Someone taller and thinner and prettier and richer?

“I’d give you a tour,” he said, pulling you back to the present, “but you’ve already seen it.”

You held back a smile. “I remember it all from, you know, sneaking out in the middle of the night.”

“Right, very rude of you, really,” he smiled, crossed his arms over his chest. An awkward pause. “I would have reached out, but, I dunno--I guess I thought you didn’t want me to since you left.”

You opened your mouth to speak but then licked your lips. “No--I was just, I didn’t want to impose.”

“Well, you missed what would have been a delicious breakfast.”

Quiet for a second, you were glad he was playful, friendly, flirty, even. You knew you were about to kill any sort of mood there might be. 

“Listen--uh, I actually have something to tell you.”

He tilted his head to the side, a curious smile on his face, just like when you told Glenne. He watched you, dimpled cheeks, as if you were about to admit you’d been thinking about him, wishing he’d call, hoping to see him again. 

For a second you wondered if it was the right move, telling him at all. Maybe it wasn’t his problem. Maybe he’d hate you and be angry or maybe he’d think you did it on purpose, a claim to fame or a 401k cash in. Maybe you were better off navigating the waters of motherhood alone. Alternatively, maybe you took the other path. Easier for everyone, right?

But he looked too curious, too innocent, too pure. He noticed the emotion on your face, the water that had pooled in your eyes. His expression changed, furrowed brows and a twitch in his lips before you spit it out. 

“I’m pregnant.”

Again. Quiet--the typical response at this point. Something you were used to. You could see a plane in the distance, on final approach to LAX. Somewhere in the world there were people laughing and hugging and somewhere there were scenes much happier than this one. 

“Uh--I--,” he shook his head, blinked a few times, almost like he didn’t quite understand. “Because of us?”

A nod. You didn’t feel like divulging the same information about how there was no other possibility, especially to someone like him--someone who was surely much more sexually active than you were. 

“You’re sure?”

Another nod. You reached into your purse and pulled out the papers you had printed that afternoon. The results from Dr. Weston’s office. Numbers and words you didn’t really understand. “Here--I, uh, I have these.”

He blinked again, took them in his hands and looked down at them. He licked his lips and then rubbed at his neck. “What’s all this mean?”

“It’s just the test results. I did two myself, you know, the pee on a stick ones. Then a urine sample at the doctor and a blood test, too. Four positive results.”

He was quiet, the lack of noise and words seemed to spike emotion in you, more water in your eyes became tears on your cheeks. He still stared at the paper. 

A part of you wanted to turn around, leave, drive back to your house and climb into bed. Maybe then it would feel like none of this was happening. But you were frozen, feet stuck on the floor in his foyer, staring at the stubble on his chin and the necklace that hung around his neck.

A shaky breath. “I’m sorry--I was--we used a condom, I don’t know how it happened.”

He looked up at you quickly, the rawness of your voice and cracks between words seemed to grab his attention. “Will you, uh, take a test in front of me?”

That made you stop crying really quick. “W-what?” A sniffle when you wiped at your face. 

“It’s just, to be sure. I don’t--sometimes people do this to people like me, and--” 

“Are you insinuating that I’m--” you looked around, not even sure what to call it. “Making this up?”

“It’s not you--I would ask that of anyone.”

Your lips parted, you stared past his shoulder and into the living room. 

Let me give you a tour, he’d said, dimples on his cheeks when he looked down at you that night. Sat on the edge of the couch, he stood above you, handed Lexi another drink before he introduced himself. 

We’ve already met, you teased. You recounted your first meeting, jogged his memory by describing the dress you wore, the restaurant you went to. It had been six months earlier. I’m Y/N, you said. Your name brought it all back for him.

Back in the room, he shifted his weight on his feet. You thought on it for a second. You’d expected him to be shocked and surprised--even angry or disinterested would have been understandable. You didn’t, for a second, think that he might not believe you. 

It made sense, as much as you hated to admit it. You were sure that somewhere out there was a person who would make this type of thing up--news outlets covered stories like that all the time. 

But this--the upheaval of everything you’d come to know--you wished you were making it up. You weren’t someone he met in some hotel bar with something to gain. You were a friend of a friend, wrong place, wrong time. 

“Look--someone will make us do that anyway. Jeff or someone would insist that I have more proof. And I can’t just tell them I took your word for it.”

Another reminder of the distance between you. The fact that Harry drove a Tesla and you had a Honda. The fact that now they were his friends and you were the outsider--the one screwing it all up. And now your friends had to choose sides, and apparently, Jeff was already on Harry’s before he even knew about it. 

“I mean--fine, I can show you the two I already took. I’ll take another, and you can see it, if you want.” 

He nodded. “Yeah, m’sorry, that’s just probably for the best.”

He offered to drive--promised your car would be safe in his driveway until you could come back for it. So you endured the nearly forty minute drive back to your house in quasi-silence, save for the voices from the radio that didn’t break the tension. 

He asked about work, you pretended to be interested in the upcoming release of his music. But the long pauses and sideways glances made it feel like you both knew the questions were obligatory and forced and surface, a lazy attempt at ignoring the obvious.

You pointed out a spot for him to park near the sidewalk, beneath the willow tree across the street that always left pollen on your windshield. He followed you across the road, up to the front door in your snug residential neighborhood. 

“Hi,” you called into the living room, knowing that Lexi had the day off from filming. With your luck at this point, she’d probably be naked (or halfway there) in the kitchen. High as a kite or asleep on the couch. 

“Hey! How’d it--oh.”

She appeared from her bedroom, eyes wide when she took in the sight of Harry trailing behind you. You ignored the flush on his cheeks and the shy smile he threw in her direction. 

It must have hit him--Lexi knew. Lexi--who Harry had known for at least three or four years now--offered a wave in his direction and tried to play it cool. 

“Hi Lexi.”

“He wants me to pee on a stick again,” you said flatly. 

She pulled her head back, a smirk on her face when she turned to Harry. “Really?”

He let out a sigh and shrugged his shoulders. “Do you want to know what could happen if I believed every woman who’s ever said that to me?”

“There’s been multiple?” Lexi looked at him like he was crazy.

“Well--like, two. But they were both absolutely mental.”

You walked into the bathroom and knelt down, digging through the cabinet below the sink for another test. After you took the first you bought another box--two inside. 

You grabbed it and stood, going to shut the door. “Well, I’ll be back.”

“Wait,” he said, shoving his hands in the pocket of his pants. “Can I--uh--come in?”

Lexi’s face twisted. “You wanna watch?”

“Well, how do I know that you’re not pregnant and she’s using your, you know, sample?”

Lexi looked over at you and raised her eyebrows, some type of this is unreal look on her face. 

“Fine,” you said, defeated. “Come over here.”

He stepped into the bathroom beside you and offered an uncomfortable smile, squeezing by you when you shut the door. He sat on the edge of the bathtub and stared at his hands. You pulled down your pants, sat, and then waited. 

He looked up quickly, then back down at the floor. Then back up. “Well--are you gonna go?”

“I need a second,” you said. “I’m not used to peeing in front of strangers.”

“M’not a stranger,” he made a face as if it hurt his feelings. You weren’t about to fight with him--now didn’t seem like a good time to define the relationship. “Here,” he reached up to twist the faucet, a stream of water fell into the sink. 

That helped. You held the stick in place and capped it when you were done, placing it on the sink. You flushed and stood up as if this was all in a day’s work.

“Now we wait?”

You leaned forward to wash your hands. “Doesn’t take long--apparently I’m super pregnant.”

He let out a bit of a laugh at that, a tension breaking chuckle before he picked it up. He pushed out his lips, staring down at it as if it wasn’t as threatening as you’d always felt. 

“Plus sign,” he flipped it towards you, offering you a view. 

You nodded.

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

He was quiet, staring at the plastic in his hands before he put it back down.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “We used a condom.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to--we didn’t mean to. Aren’t you on birth control?”

You nodded. “I was switching to a new one around then--but my doctor said it should be just as effective,” the anxiety grew with each word, the scenarios ran through your head, what you could have done differently, if you should have left right after, cursing yourself for enjoying the sex even though it resulted in this. 

“I don’t know what to do,” you said, wiping at your cheeks to hide the evidence of the tears. You hardly knew him--crying in what suddenly felt like the world’s smallest bathroom didn’t seem like a great get to know you exercise. 

He seemed alarmed by the emotion again, a look of uncertainty crossed his face. “Me neither--I mean, I’m supposed to put out this album and then go on tour and I’ve never--”

A knock on the door, Lexi pushed it open, an inquisitive look on her face. “Everything okay?”

“No,” you both spoke at the same time. 

“Oh good,” Lexi said sarcastically to him, “you’re losing your shit over it too!”

“S’not exactly the best timing, right now, Lexi.” He stepped past you on the white tile, slipping out of the bathroom and making his way for the living room. 

You followed behind him. “It’s not good timing for me either, if you were wondering!”

He turned around quickly. “I know--I didn’t mean it like that, I just--you’ve had a few days to sit with this, right? M’just finding out now so excuse the panic.”

You took a breath, watched as he paced on the carpet and ran a hand through his hair. He stopped suddenly, looked up to Lexi. 

“Does Glenne know?”

She looked over to you, your call, Harry did the same. 

“Great--so Jeff knows! Is that why he hasn’t returned my phone calls?”

“Jeff doesn’t know,” you said quickly. “She promised not to tell him until I talked to you.”

“And you believed her?! She can have quite the mouth, for fuck’s sake!”

“She didn’t say anything, relax,” Lexi tried to settle him, her voice more collected than yours had been all week. “I talked to her a while ago. She’s freaking out, too.”

He flopped down on the couch, a big sigh before he looked up at you again. “Are you--do you want to keep it?”

“I don’t know.”

He nodded, almost like he expected the answer. 

“I wanted to talk to you first.”

He nodded again, eyes still wide. “Okay.”

“Can you just breathe, with me, for a second?” You moved to sit beside him, body angled towards his so he could watch you. In and out, in and out. 

It already felt like you were ruining his life, the last thing you needed was for him to have a heart attack on your sofa. 

He settled a bit at that, another nod to reassure you that he was getting enough air. “Sorry--I just, this is big.”

“I know,” you said. “For me too.”

“Yeah.”

Lexi was still stood in the center of the room, watching the scene unfold. When you looked up at her, she tilted her head. “I was gonna order a pizza--are you guys hungry?”

**

When Harry left the house that night he promised he’d see you the next day. Not only did you need your car, but you figured it’d be easier to actually talk some things through after a good night of sleep and some time to think. 

There was a part of you that wondered if he’d actually follow through--show up at your house at 10am like he said he would. Maybe he’d catch the soonest flight back to London and change his number, barring Jeff and Glenne from ever speaking to you again. 

The pizza was a good call on Lexi’s part. It turned out that when he had some food in him, he was remarkably less anxious. See? You’ll be fine. He’s just like a toddler! Lexi teased after he left. 

She sat on your bed with you that night and just listened. First you told her about the way he looked when you first said it, the blinking and the staring and the shuffling of his feet. Then about the car ride and the radio and the way you pretended that you didn’t notice how often he tried to look over at you on the freeway. 

You had no idea where he was at--you had no idea what he was thinking or what type of person he was. He was a stranger, really, someone who sometimes happened to run in the same circle as you and someone who now had a good reason to never want to see you again. 

Lexi said she was glad that he wanted to talk again in the morning, glad that he knew and agreed that it would be best for him to tell Jeff in a few days, once the two of you had more time to talk. 

You were glad, too. 

“I think he’s here,” she peered out the window, the Saturday sun fought its way through early morning fog. 

Your phone started buzzing in your hand--a call, not a text. You answered it. “Hello?”

“Hey--s’me. I’m outside.”

“Okay,” you said. “I’ll be right out.”

“Don’t be too long,” Lexi said, watching as you reached for the denim jacket on the back of the door. “Are we still watching SNL tonight?”

“Yeah--yeah, we will.”

“Okay,” she seemed to eye you suspiciously. “Call me if he’s being a fucking asshole, okay?”

“Okay.”

She waved you out the door, watched as you climbed inside the dark black car that was parked at the end of the walkway.

“Hi--oh, hi,” the seatbelt seemed to lurch forward on it’s own, making it easier to grab hold of once you sat down. “Glenne’s doesn’t do this.”

“S’the newer model.”

Of course it was.

“Are you hungry? I know you need your car, but I figured we could grab something to eat.”

You nodded, pushing sunglasses down to cover your eyes. “Sure, yeah.”

He accelerated, the car whirred, electric, and he adjusted a few buttons in the front. “Are you feeling alright?”

“What do you mean?”

He stole another sideways glance in your direction. “Like--you’re not nauseous yet, are you?”

“Oh--” you stopped to think about it. “No. But food tastes funny--kind of metallic, almost? I don’t know if that’s related. I’m only four weeks at this point, that’s what the email from Dr. Weston said.”

“Dr. Weston?”

“My OBGYN.”

“Right. When did you see her?”

“Wednesday.”

A left turn out of your neighborhood. You’d caught him up on all of that the night before. The appointment, telling your mom--he listened with wide eyes, pizza in hand. 

“When do you go again?”

“Next week. She said we can talk about options.”

“Oh--should I, maybe, come to that?”

You hadn’t thought about that. It certainly was too early to do an ultrasound, you figured the appointment was a nice way for Dr. Weston to let you know the options for termination, if that’s what you wanted. A shift in your seat, a nervousness when you looked over at him. “If you want, yeah.”

He nodded, quiet for a little as he drove. He was heading for closer to Santa Monica, you didn’t ask where and you figured it didn’t matter. Breakfast sounded nice. 

He eventually turned into a parking lot for a small cafe--one that you heard Jeff mention in the past--with ivy running up the outside trellis that provided some patio shade from the mid-May sun. “The scones here are really good.”

You tried not to laugh. “Scones are probably the worst breakfast pastry.”

“What?” His voice went all high as if you’d said something truly offensive. He pulled out his chair and sat, a casual outfit of athletic shorts and a sweatshirt. Sunglasses--presumably for disguise.

“Yeah,” you said, a bored shrug. “Too dry. Muffins are much better.”

He didn’t reply. Instead, he looked over the menu that the hostess had dropped off, took a sip of his water before looking up at you. 

“Look, I want to just tell you I’m sorry for freaking out last night. I know this isn’t easy for you, either.”

You nodded. “It’s not ideal for either of us, I guess.”

He nodded. Fumbled with the straw wrapped between his fingers. “What are your thoughts on--” he paused, seemingly uncomfortable. “Ending it?”

You shrugged, feeling mostly disconnected from whatever bundle of cells had implanted on your uterine lining. “I don’t know--it would probably be easier.”

He watched you, an unreadable look on his face. He rubbed at his lips and nodded. “You don’t have to. That’s a big decision. I just didn’t know what your thoughts were--in general.”

“I don’t really know what they are. What are yours?”

He laughed a little. “I don’t know. I’ve never had to think much about it.”

The waitress appeared, a look of shock when he smiled up at her, the realization spread over her face before she scribbled down your orders. 

Pink on his cheeks when she left. “Sorry.”

You smiled. “I’m surprised you can be in the sunlight without people following you around.”

He rolled his eyes, let out a playful sigh. “Some days are better than others. This spot is typically safe, though.”

The waitress came back quick with coffees--you were sure to not confuse her eagerness to be near him as prompt service. 

“So--who have you told, again?”

“Just Lexi and Glenne. And my mom.”

“No one else?”

“No. Have you told anyone?”

He pushed the tiny boat of coffee creamer towards you. “No. I just went to bed last night and tried to sleep.”

Another wave of guilt. You were sure he had better things to do than stare at the ceiling thinking about abortion or full term or the possibility that something would go wrong.

“They say you’re not supposed to tell people, you know--before it’s too soon.”

“Right, what is it? Three months?”

“Yeah--twelve weeks. That’s when something is likely to happen. But, look--I get it, if you can’t do this. No matter what I end up doing, I won’t be mad if you’re not able to be around.”

The words came out more quickly than you expected, as if saying them would prevent the damage from spreading. Like a bandaid, pulled off quickly, you placed the proposition on the table. 

He made a face at that, looked down, twisted the rings on his fingers and then sighed. “I wouldn’t do that--I don’t want to.”

“Yeah, but, come on. I mean--you’re busy and this doesn’t really align with your lifestyle.”

He quirked an eyebrow, almost challenging you with a smirk. “And what do you know about my lifestyle?”

You picked up a spoon and stirred the coffee in front of you. “Well--I don’t know. I just, I don’t want you to feel like this means you’re, you know, trapped.”

He nodded, thinking. He licked his lips and pushed his mouth to one side. “I appreciate that.”

He asked where you were when you found out. You told him about the tiled floor of the bathroom at work, the way it cooled your hot skin when you were sure you’d pass out. You told him about the second test, the one you’d taken at home with Lexi, and the ice cream cone you had after you went to the doctor. 

He asked where you were from, said he’d never heard of Santa Paula. He told you that he had fun with you that night, said that he thought about calling you after you left, decided he didn’t want to scare you off. 

He drove you back to his house and pointed out the window, showing you a hiking trail nearby that he liked. He laughed when you made a joke--strapping a ten pound baby to your chest would level up any workout.

So you got your car and left, he didn’t hug you goodbye in the driveway and he said he’d call you--right after he figured out what he was going to tell his parents and his manager. You were about to the shut the door of your Honda when he jogged over to the driver’s side window. 

“When was that appointment again? With Dr. Westfield?”

“Weston,” you corrected. “Thursday, 4pm, I think.”

He nodded, his hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun. “Okay--I’ll come.”

table of contents | talk to me + join the tag list

author’s note: woohooo! alright, well, there’s that!!!! so excited to share the rest with you all! 

tag list: @stepping-into-the-light @thurhomish @afterstylesmadeit @iconicharry @stylesfics-xx @harryspirate @mellamolayla @harryinsweatersandbandanas @stylesfantasy @clorenafila @mell-love @anssu-amry @yelllowgrass @bullseyeskay @littlesoldierelleora @styles217 @rachkon @c-h-e-r-r-y-y @myhat  @rosegoldbel @passionate-dreamerr @grammyforstyles @dontgiveupthedayjob @ursamajor603 @craic-head-horan @heavenspidey @talk-british-2-me-britbritharry @blackxxmagicc @winter-soldier-007 @ssllbb @wanderlustiing @jdcharliewhiskey  

[nickyjohnston]

It is a wrap for the cast of ‘Big Little Lies’, but as the sun sets on season two’s finale it begs the question: is a third season on the horizon?

The long anticipated season two finale of HBO’s award winning hit limited television series ‘Big Little Lies’ (based on Liane Moriarty’s novel by the same name) recently reached its dramatic climax on Sky Atlantic, while making its US debut prior to that.  With this season under the helm of a new director, Andrea Arnold, and with many questions left unanswered at the end of the penultimate episode it seemed dubious as to how the show would match the success of its first season and deliver a fitting finale that would satisfy its viewers.  Yet the culmination of season two, in much the same vein as season one, delivered on all accounts and definitely did not disappoint, drawing in the series’ biggest audience (1.98 million viewers), exceeding the figure set by season one’s finale.  With a stellar ensemble cast led by the show’s executive producers, Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman, and with compelling storylines that focus on real issues that are very relevant in today’s current Me Too era, ‘Big Little Lies’ is nothing short of entertainment at its very best, showcasing some of the top roles for women on television to date.

Season two of ‘Big Little Lies’ picks up from where season one left off, with the Monterey Five continuing to guard their secret and lie about what really happened the night of the school’s talent contest when Celeste Wright’s (Kidman) abusive husband, Perry (Alexander Skarsgård), fell to his death.  It also delves deeper into their five characters’ storylines, exploring how Celeste struggles to come to terms with her grief and the abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband, as well as trying to deal with being a single mother, while Madeleine’s (Witherspoon) and Renata’s (Laura Dern) marriages are put to the test and Jane (Shailene Woodley) slowly begins to come to terms with the true identity of her rapist, revealed at the end of season one, and opening herself up to the possibility of dating again.  Notably, Zoë Kravitz’s character Bonnie is given a bigger story arc this season, as she wrestles with her guilt over what she has done and whether to come clean, all the while being haunted by memories from her childhood.  

As for Hollywood Royalty herself, who makes the already impressive lineup read like a who’s who in Hollywood, three time Academy Award winner Meryl Streep joins the cast this season in the role of Mary-Louise (which incidentally is Streep’s real name), the mother of Perry, who comes to stay with Celeste to help her while she is still grieving the loss of her husband.  In as much as her animosity towards Madeline yields much of the standout comedic moments of season two, particularly when taking aim at Witherspoon’s diminutive figure, it is Mary-Louise’s quest for the truth of what happened to her son which provides much of the high drama, with her growing conflict with Celeste regarding who should have custody of Celeste’s twin boys, providing arguably some of the best dramatic moments.  Both actresses deliver outstanding performances as seen in last night’s final episode, when things finally come to a head between Celeste and Mary-Louise, as they face off in a dramatic courtroom showdown, where it is anyone’s guess as to who will win.

In an HBO candid roundtable with the female stars of this world-wide TV phenomenon, each shared how this new season is about these five women who at the end of season one are drawn into somewhat of an unlikely friendship from the lie they have told and how it is interesting to explore that a lie that took ten minutes for these women to make, takes seven hours to unfold.  We see how in the same way that the lie is the one thing that binds these very diverse women together, it is also the one thing that ultimately risks tearing them apart as they struggle to hold onto it and to deal with the repercussions of the dark turn of events that took place that ominous night.  

A mixture of high drama and dark comedy, set in the stunning locale of Monterey, California and with a killer soundtrack, including the opening theme ‘Cold Little Heart’ (by Michael Kiwanuka), ‘the Wonder of Me’ (Villagers), ‘Harvest Moon’ (Neil Young) and the fabulous single ‘Have you ever seen the rain?’ (Willie Nelson, featuring Paula Nelson), one wonders if the show will be able to repeat its awards success that it enjoyed last year when it picked up a multitude of awards for its stars Nicole Kidman, Alexander Skarsgård and Laura Dern, as well as the hit television drama itself, but that is a question that will have to remain to be seen come 2020, as sadly season two premiered a week after the cut off date for shows to be accepted for this year’s Emmy nominations.  However, already much buzz is circulating that Dern is the standout star of this season and will be sure to pick up an award for putting in a hilarious performance of Renata battling rage issues, as she faces losing her millions thanks to her husband being up on fraud charges.  Yet Kidman and Streep also surely deserve a nomination for their performances as two conflicting women - one a grieving mother and one a grieving widow who is also now a single mother, none more so than for their very moving courtroom drama in the final two episodes, as the show continues to shine a very important light on domestic abuse.  And then there is Kravitz who as aforementioned plays a much more pivotal role this season and who could also be in with a chance of picking up a nomination next year.

While it is clear that the friendship between its leading ladies continues to run strong, since the departure of ‘Big Little Lies’ from our screens, the show has been plagued by rumours of disharmony behind the scenes concerning female director Andrea Arnold.  Yet both Witherspoon and Kidman as well as HBO’s Programming President, Casey Bloys, have been quick to deny the rumours that creative control was taken away from Arnold and to praise her talent.   So what about a season three you ask?  Despite the show’s heads continuing to refute the idea that there will be a third season, the closing shot of the five women filing into the police station in the ultimate episode, suggests otherwise.  As much as the fans have not yet tired of the hit show, it would appear neither has its stars, with Kidman recently saying on Good Morning America, “I will go on the record and say I would love that!”  We would too Nicole, but only time will tell if our wish is granted.  However, if the last time is anything to go by, then fans of the show can remain hopeful that we have not yet seen the last of the Monterey Five.

[eldritchsurveys]

900.

5k Survey XXVII

1301. Can “what you don’t know” actually hurt you? >> Sure, you’ll just have less understanding of what it was that hurt you. 1302. Are you pondering what I’m pondering? >> Most likely not. 1303. What people or objects would you describe as “pure”? >> I wouldn’t. I hate that word. 1304. Are you into bookcrossing (If you aren’t sure, check out www.bookcrossing.com)? >> I’ve heard of it, but no, I don’t do that. 1305. Have you ever had a pen pal? >> No.

1306. Have you ever had a package pal (same as a pen pal but you send each other surprise gifts instead of letters)? >> No. 1307. Is there a particular word or phrase that annoys you? >> There are a lot of words and phrases that annoy me -- sometimes because of the connotation or definition, and sometimes because I just don’t like the way they sound or feel in my mouth. “Wholesome” is one of those words that straddles both. 1308. Is there an online game you like to play? >> I do play MMORPGs. 1309. What group of people is the most discriminated against in your opinion or experience? >> I’m not going to rank this sort of thing. 1310. What do you like best about bras and underwear? >> What do I like best about underwear? That it’s hygienic?? 1311. Are you afraid of living in oblivion? >> I don’t, though. 1312. Before you were born you got to pick your life from one of these. Which do you pick? - You are successful from the start, a musical genius, good looking, wealthy. You become a rock tar, get super famous, make your mark on the world and die at 27. - You are caring and compassionate. You love animals and adopt more and more as you grow older. You foster and nurture and care for them all of your life. - You sit home playing video games for 70 years. >> I’m not going to choose. This kind of question irks me for reasons I don’t feel like wrestling into words right now. 1313. What is broken in your: Car?  School? House? Just minor things. Life? Ha, want a list? Soul?  Brain? Ha, want an even longer list? 1314. Which one will you fix first? >> You assume that I can magically fix these things. Except the random minor things broken in the apartment, which I probably could fix (or get Maintenance to fix) but they’re not a big enough deal for me to bother. 1315. Tell me all your thoughts on god: >> ‘Cause I’d really like to meet her... 1316. What is the strangest note you’ve ever received? >> --- 1317. Of the following how many can be used to get in touch with you? Phone Beeper Voice mail Email Cell phone Snail mail 1318. Are you always available/easy to reach, or do you give people a chance to miss you? >> There is plenty of chance to miss me, if I’m not currently using whatever method you’re using to reach me. Also, maybe I just don’t feel like being social at the moment. 1319. If you got pregnant or impregnated the person you are with now (hypothetical if there is no one in your life just now) would you lean more towards keeping, adopting out, or aborting the baby? >> --- 1320. If your partner in the pregnancy did not agree with how you felt and pressured you to change your mind or just went ahead with what he or she wanted to do against your wishes, would that affect your ability to continue your relationship with this person? >> --- 1321. Who should have the final say in the decision to have a baby, the woman or the man? >> --- 1322. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on you for the first time, do you forgive him or her and take him or her back? >> --- 1323. What if it is your husband or wife that cheats on you? >> --- 1324. Who is more responsible for educating children, parents or schools? >> Obviously both are responsible.  1325. Are you into new age things? >> Not particularly. 1326. Are you very: Nervous? I’m not very anything on this list. Anxious? High strung? Organized?  Tense?  Rigid? Skeptical?  1327. Do you perceive reality differently from others? How? >> Probably. 1328. If you asked someone, “Do you masturbate?” and he or she says, “No,” would you assume he or she was lying? >> No. There’s no natural law that states every human being must masturbate. Plenty of people are just not interested. 1329. What do you blame things on? >> The weather. 1330. Do you want to be naked and famous? >> No. 1331. Ice Cube or LL Cool J? >> --- 1332. What are your feelings about rap music? >> I like it, generally. 1333. Cypress Hill or Roxy Music? >> I’m not familiar enough with either to have a preference. BSB or N'sync or NKOTB? >> Backstreet Boys. Debbie Gibson or Paula Abdul? >> --- Eminem or Kid Rock? >> Eminem. Weezer or the Get Up Kids? >> --- 1334. If you could solve just one of the world’s problems what would you choose to solve? >> --- 1335. Would you make a good: Counselor? Visual artist? Teacher? Pilot? Secretary? Cashier?  Waiter or waitress? Veterinary assistant? Office manager? Stage manager? Actor or actress? Sales girl or guy? Pizza delivery girl or guy? Film director? Business man or woman? CEO? Surgeon? Fire man or woman? Cop? 1336. Do you check condoms to see if they are expired before using them? >> --- 1337. Imagine you are in school and a person of the opposite sex you barely know asks you really nicely for a ride home from class (yes, you have a car). It’s out of your way. Do you say yes? >> If I’m in the mood, sure. If I’m not, or I’ve got other shit to do, then no. Let’s say you said yes. S/he hugs you. What is your reaction? >> My reaction is a hard shove and some cuss words. Don’t fucking touch me. As you drop him or her off s/he hugs you again and thanks you for being such a nice person. What do you make of all this? >> Obviously after my first reaction that will not be happening again, and depending on how they responded to that reaction, we probably went our separate ways and they found another ride home. 1338. Are you interested in post-apocalyptic (post-nuclear war) movies? >> Not as a rule, but I’m sure there are a couple out there that I’d like. 1339. What is the saddest movie you ever saw? >> *shrug* 1340. What is the saddest thought you can think of? >> --- 1341. Who is the most horrible driver you know? >> --- 1342. Are you a sexist in any way? >> Maybe. 1343. How often do you check your email? >> Whenever there’s a little red flag on my browser extension. 1344. How often do you check your diary for notes? >> --- 1345. If you had to read a biography about someone, who would you pick? >> I’m not really interested in anyone’s biography right now. Oh, I do have an Alan Watts one (I think that’s an autobio) saved to read on Scribd, but I haven’t gotten to it yet. Also, it’s fuckin long for some reason. 1346. Which of your friends and relatives has the most interesting life story? >> --- 1347. What’s the matter with kids today? >> --- 1348. How do you feel about censorship? >> It’s very hard to sell me on it. 1349. What was on the last CD you burned? >> That was at least 15 years ago, I have no idea. 1350. What movie should be released on DVD but hasn’t been released yet? >> ---

[surveystodestressme]

59.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 14

1301. Can “what you don’t know” actually hurt you? i mean, no. 1302. Are you pondering what I’m pondering? probably not 1303. What people or objects would you describe as “pure”? babies, uhh... idk what else 1304. Are you into bookcrossing (If you aren’t sure, check out www.bookcrossing.com)? no idea what that is 1305. Have you ever had a pen pal? yep! i think i have one now except we just talk online instead of sending letters

1306. Have you ever had a package pal (same as a pen pal but you send each other surprise gifts instead of letters)? that’d be so cool but no 1307. Is there a particular word or phrase that annoys you? i hate when people say “i haven’t seen you in a minute” that shit is SO annoying to me 1308. Is there an online game you like to play? i like to play tons of online games 1309. What group of people is the most discriminated against in your opinion or experience? recently it’s been black people, at least in the area that i live in. 1310. What do you like best about bras and underwear? the designs or fabrics 1311. Are you afraid of living in oblivion? kind of 1312. Before you were born you got to pick your life from one of these. Which do you pick? You are successful from the start, a musical genius, good looking, wealthy. You become a rock tar, get super famous, make your mark on the world and die at 27. You are caring and compassionate. You love animals and adopt more and more as you grow older. You foster and nurture and care for them all of your life. <—- this one because I LOVE ANIMALS AND WANT TO DO THIS IN MY LIFE CURRENTLY ANYWAYS You sit home playing video games for 70 years. 1313. What is broken in your: Car? the check engine light is always on but i think it’s a messed up sensor or something (not my car tho just the one i drive from time to time) School? the vending machine gets my food stuck in it alll the time and i have to put extra money in House? our upstairs shower is caulked correctly so it leaks into the shelving and it sucks Life? my motivation. Soul? my lack of ambition??? idk Brain? i just have anxiety if that counts 1314. Which one will you fix first? the shower would be nice 1315. Tell me all your thoughts on god: i do not believe that there is a god.  i think religion is very interesting to learn about but i do not believe there is some magical man in the sky who controls the world and watches over everything.  that seems a little farfetched to me 1316. What is the strangest note you’ve ever received? uhhh i don’t know.  i used to send notes to my friend in pig latin when we were in middle school 1317. Of the following how many can be used to get in touch with you? Phone Beeper Voice mail Email Cell phone Snail mail all but the beeper. 1318. Are you always available/easy to reach, or do you give people a chance to miss you? i’m usually pretty easy to get ahold of 1319. If you got pregnant or impregnated the person you are with now (hypothetical if there is no one in your life just now) would you lean more towards keeping, adopting out, or aborting the baby? i have so many problems with this question because i feel like i wouldn’t know unless i was in the situation.  i do not ever want kids.  i want to say that if i got pregnant right now that i would put it up for adoption but i feel like i would probably have to abort it... 1320. If your partner in the pregnancy did not agree with how you felt and pressured you to change your mind or just went ahead with what he or she wanted to do against your wishes, would that affect your ability to continue your relationship with this person? he knows how i feel, and he agrees.  we’ve talked about it several times 1321. Who should have the final say in the decision to have a baby, the woman or the man? the woman 1322. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on you for the first time, do you forgive him or her and take him or her back? i want to say that i’d leave him, but i know it would be hard 1323. What if it is your husband or wife that cheats on you? i’d get divorced because i would never be able to trust them again 1324. Who is more responsible for educating children, parents or schools? i feel like it should be a little of both.  there are tons of things that aren’t taught at schools and should be the responsibility of the parents to then teach at home 1325. Are you into new age things? yes. 1326. Are you very: Nervous? all the time Anxious? yeah High strung? on occasion Organized? most of the time Tense? sometimes. Rigid? i don’t think so Skeptical? nah. 1327. Do you perceive reality differently from others? How? i don’t know 1328. If you asked someone, “Do you masturbate?” and he or she says, “No,” would you assume he or she was lying? probably, tbh 1329. What do you blame things on? depends on the situation 1330. Do you want to be naked and famous? no???? 1331. Ice Cube or LL Cool J? ice cube 1332. What are your feelings about rap music? i'm okay with some of it 1333. Cypress Hill or Roxy Music? don;t know wither of these BSB or N'sync or NKOTB? bsb. Debbie Gibson or Paula Abdul? paula abdul Eminem or Kid Rock? eminem. Weezer or the Get Up Kids? weezer 1334. If you could solve just one of the world’s problems what would you choose to solve? cure for cancer. 1335. Would you make a good: Counselor? probably not, tbh. i give good advice but like sometimes i just don’t know what to say Visual artist? this would be cool but idk if it’s for me Teacher? no bc i hate kids Pilot? i’m afraid of heights lol Secretary? i feel like it would be too boring Cashier? i do a good job at that now Waiter or waitress? yeah Veterinary assistant? that’s what i’m going to school for !!!!!! so i hope so Office manager? yeah Stage manager? probably Actor or actress? i think i am a terrible actress plus i get so nervous in front of crowss Sales girl or guy? yes. Pizza delivery girl or guy? i wouldn’t mind it Film director? maybe Business man or woman? no CEO? no Surgeon? not for humans Fire man or woman? nope Cop? nooo. 1336. Do you check condoms to see if they are expired before using them? nope but i probably should 1337. Imagine you are in school and a person of the opposite sex you barely know asks you really nicely for a ride home from class (yes, you have a car). It’s out of your way. Do you say yes? not if i barely know them Let’s say you said yes. S/he hugs you. What is your reaction? since i barely know this person i would think this is really odd As you drop him or her off s/he hugs you again and thanks you for being such a nice person. What do you make of all this? i would think the hug is odd but i’d just say you’re welcome and drive off 1338. Are you interested in post-apocalyptic (post-nuclear war) movies? yeah 1339. What is the saddest movie you ever saw? romeo and juliet is pretty sad 1340. What is the saddest thought you can think of? watching someone you love die 1341. Who is the most horrible driver you know? me lol 1342. Are you a sexist in any way? nah 1343. How often do you check your email? as often as i can 1344. How often do you check your diary for notes? everyday 1345. If you had to read a biography about someone, who would you pick? morgan freeman 1346. Which of your friends and relatives has the most interesting life story? my grandparents 1347. What’s the matter with kids today? they’re not disciplined 1348. How do you feel about censorship? i don’t think we need censorship honestly 1349. What was on the last CD you burned? a bunch of 90s rap 1350. What movie should be released on DVD but hasn’t been released yet? i don’t really get dvds anymore 1351. Have you ever wished for wings that work? no 1352. Have you ever imagined that you are not really of this world? yeah sometimes 1353. Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? two, actually.  one named stacey who always flew on a magic carpet.  and dawalls which were literally the walls.  my siblings and i talked to the walls when we were younger 1354. Do you still have imaginary friends? no. 1355. Do you enjoy reading children’s books? sometimes i guess 1356. Are you decadent? idk 1357. What would make you happy that money cannot buy? love. 1358. What would make you happy that money can buy? a new car 1359. Where do you hang out on your spare time? my house or jack’s 1360. Do you delight in minor euphoria? idk what that is. 1361. It’s (what time is it?) ______. 12:13 am Do you know where your: Mom is? at stef’s Dad is? at work First boyfriend or girlfriend is? i have no idea honestly Boy or girlfriend is? in the same room as me Best friend is? in the same room as me Soul mate is? in the same room as me Wallet is? in the same room as me, in my purse 1362. Who do you feel sorry for? no one right now 1363. What will you never say in front of your parents? there’s not much that i wouldn’t say in front of my parents 1364. Do you change your personality and behavior depending on who you are with? no 1365. Are you waiting for marriage to lose your virginity? lol no 1366. What year were you born? 1996 1367. What is your sign? aries 1368. What year did you/will you graduate from high school? 2014 1369. Do you use moisturizer? just recently started to 1370. On what parts of your body? my face and neck 1371. Are the 70’s back in style? lol not that i know of 1372. Do you read any magazines? no. 1373. Do you read before going to sleep at night? sometimes. 1374. Are you a music maker? nah 1375. Are you a dreamer of the dreams? i guess??? 1376. How do you feel about large corporations? whatever. 1377. How do you feel about people who are, “just doing their job”? ^ 1378. Which would you watch of these choices: Pitch black The mummy This Pretty woman 1380. About what percent of the time do you feel good about yourself? 80% 1381. Do you feel comfortable with other people (in social situations)? for the most part 1382. Do you have good friends/family relationships? yes. 1383. How do you control your tension and anxiety? i don’t lol 1384. Are you able to meet the demands of life and function in society? kind of 1385. Do you curb your feelings of hatred and guilt? sometimes 1386. Do you maintain a positive outlook? yes. 1387. Does knowing you enrich the lives of others? i couldn’t say 1388. What things do you cherish? the people i love, a roof over my head, food on my table, a job, school 1389. To what extent do you value diversity? very much so. 1390. What fascinates you? the world around me and what’s happening in it 1391. Do you appreciate nature? yeah 1392. If you could be someone else for a day who would you be? morgan freeman 1393. Would you ever consider ‘psychic surgery’ if you were ill? idek what that is How about voodoo? probably not Herbal remedies? maybe 1394. How effective do you feel meditation is? i’ve done it before, i mean it’s kind of relaxing 1395. How effective do you feel prayer is? not at all tbh 1396. How do you think that you (or anyone, for that matter) could pray without ceasing? idk 1397. Is religion a live option for you (that is, a possibility, something you are drawn to even if you have no belief)? i guess it could be 1398. What part of your body do you lavish the least attention and love on? tummy 1399. How many clocks are in your house? at least 10 1400. What topics would you like to see more of on this survey? different varieties

[surveysonfleek]

422.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 14

1301. Can “what you don't know” actually hurt you? i’m sorta leaning towards no that this stage. i’m trying to think of how it can but i’m blanking. 1302. Are you pondering what I'm pondering? nope. 1303. What people or objects would you describe as “pure”? babies, fresh water, raw minerals. 1304. Are you into bookcrossing (If you aren’t sure, check out www.bookcrossing.com)? nope. 1305. Have you ever had a pen pal? i have.

1306. Have you ever had a package pal (same as a pen pal but you send each other surprise gifts instead of letters)? haha no. how do i get one!? 1307. Is there a particular word or phrase that annoys you? i really hate it when people around me say ‘tings’. we’re not from toronto or jamaica guys lol. 1308. Is there an online game you like to play? nah. 1309. What group of people is the most discriminated against in your opinion or experience? in sydney, anyone who isn’t white tbh. i see this shit a looooot. 1310. What do you like best about bras and underwear? cute designs i guess. 1311. Are you afraid of living in oblivion? no, i’m hoping it’s not possible. 1312. Before you were born you got to pick your life from one of these. Which do you pick? You are successful from the start, a musical genius, good looking, wealthy. You become a rock tar, get super famous, make your mark on the world and die at 27. You are caring and compassionate. You love animals and adopt more and more as you grow older. You foster and nurture and care for them all of your life. <---- this even though i don’t loooove all animals. You sit home playing video games for 70 years. 1313. What is broken in your: Car? tbh the engine sounds funny but it’s just been serviced so idk. School? no more school. House? my curling iron ugh. Life? my motivation. Soul? my will to learn. Brain? nothing it seems. 1314. Which one will you fix first? life. 1315. Tell me all your thoughts on god: i believe there’s a higher power out there, but tbh i haven’t been in touch with my spiritual side in years. 1316. What is the strangest note you've ever received? idk. 1317. Of the following how many can be used to get in touch with you? Phone Beeper Voice mail Email Cell phone Snail mail all but the beeper. 1318. Are you always available/easy to reach, or do you give people a chance to miss you? i’m generally easy to reach. 1319. If you got pregnant or impregnated the person you are with now (hypothetical if there is no one in your life just now) would you lean more towards keeping, adopting out, or aborting the baby? keeping it. 1320. If your partner in the pregnancy did not agree with how you felt and pressured you to change your mind or just went ahead with what he or she wanted to do against your wishes, would that affect your ability to continue your relationship with this person? of course. 1321. Who should have the final say in the decision to have a baby, the woman or the man? the woman, she’s the one carrying the baby. 1322. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on you for the first time, do you forgive him or her and take him or her back? depends exactly on the situation. i definitely would not take him back if he slept with another person. 1323. What if it is your husband or wife that cheats on you? i’d be done tbh. no need for that negativity in my life. 1324. Who is more responsible for educating children, parents or schools? parents are more responsible for the early learning stages. then school obviously would play a huge role. 1325. Are you into new age things? yes. 1326. Are you very: Nervous? yes. Anxious? yes. High strung? sometimes. Organized? sometimes. Tense? sometimes. Rigid? no. Skeptical? nah. 1327. Do you perceive reality differently from others? How? not that i know of? 1328. If you asked someone, “Do you masturbate?” and he or she says, “No,” would you assume he or she was lying? it depends who i asked. 1329. What do you blame things on? i’d assess the situation in a logical manner and decide from there. 1330. Do you want to be naked and famous? no. 1331. Ice Cube or LL Cool J? ll cool j. 1332. What are your feelings about rap music? i like some of it. 1333. Cypress Hill or Roxy Music? cypress. BSB or N'sync or NKOTB? bsb. Debbie Gibson or Paula Abdul? paula abdul coz idk the other one. Eminem or Kid Rock? eminem. Weezer or the Get Up Kids? neither. 1334. If you could solve just one of the world's problems what would you choose to solve? cure for cancer. 1335. Would you make a good: Counselor? i’m very emotional so maybe not. i’ll cry whenever i see someone else cry. Visual artist? i’d love to be this. Teacher? not sure, i get irritated easily. Pilot? possibly. Secretary? yes. Cashier? yes. Waiter or waitress? yes. Veterinary assistant? no, i have allergies to some animals. Office manager? maybe. Stage manager? i guess. Actor or actress? if i could act, yeah. Sales girl or guy? yes. Pizza delivery girl or guy? no, i hate driving. Film director? possibly. Business man or woman? yes. CEO? not sure. Surgeon? no. Fire man or woman? no. Cop? nooo. 1336. Do you check condoms to see if they are expired before using them? i don’t use condoms. i’m on birth control, my boyfriend and i have both had std tests and we’re clean. 1337. Imagine you are in school and a person of the opposite sex you barely know asks you really nicely for a ride home from class (yes, you have a car). It's out of your way. Do you say yes? nope. Let's say you said yes. S/he hugs you. What is your reaction? honestly depends on what i thought of their demeanour. if they’re usually friendly i wouldn’t think anything of it. As you drop him or her off s/he hugs you again and thanks you for being such a nice person. What do you make of all this? if it’s just a hug and they got out of my car i wouldn’t think anything of it. 1338. Are you interested in post-apocalyptic (post-nuclear war) movies? no. 1339. What is the saddest movie you ever saw? idk. 1340. What is the saddest thought you can think of? losing your entire family in a car accident. ugh. 1341. Who is the most horrible driver you know? my boyfriend’s brother. is literally on his phone while driving all the time, it’s so bad. 1342. Are you a sexist in any way? i wouldn’t say so but i’m very supportive of women’s rights. 1343. How often do you check your email? daily. 1344. How often do you check your diary for notes? weekly. 1345. If you had to read a biography about someone, who would you pick? rihanna. only if she wrote it herself. 1346. Which of your friends and relatives has the most interesting life story? hmmm my parents. 1347. What's the matter with kids today? theyre growing up too fast. 1348. How do you feel about censorship? as in movies, shows and stuff? fair enough i guess. 1349. What was on the last CD you burned? omg haha i have no idea. 1350. What movie should be released on DVD but hasn’t been released yet? idk, i watch everything on netflix these days. 1351. Have you ever wished for wings that work? no. 1352. Have you ever imagined that you are not really of this world? yeah, it happens when i think too much lmao. 1353. Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? nope. 1354. Do you still have imaginary friends? no. 1355. Do you enjoy reading children’s books? not anymore. 1356. Are you decadent? err, no. 1357. What would make you happy that money cannot buy? love. 1358. What would make you happy that money can buy? plentyyyy of things. 1359. Where do you hang out on your spare time? at home. 1360. Do you delight in minor euphoria? idk what that is. 1361. It's (what time is it?) ______. 12:16am. Do you know where your: Mom is? sleeping. Dad is? sleeping. First boyfriend or girlfriend is? out with friends. Boy or girlfriend is? ^ same Best friend is? sleeping. Soul mate is? out with friends. Wallet is? in my handbag. 1362. Who do you feel sorry for? myself haha. 1363. What will you never say in front of your parents? swears. or anything about my sex life. 1364. Do you change your personality and behavior depending on who you are with? no. i guess i put on a more professional manner when i’m dealing with patrons. 1365. Are you waiting for marriage to lose your virginity? nope. 1366. What year were you born? 1990. 1367. What is your sign? sagittarius. 1368. What year did you/will you graduate from high school? 2008 omg forever ago. 1369. Do you use moisturizer? yes. 1370. On what parts of your body? everywhere. 1371. Are the 70's back in style? no. 1372. Do you read any magazines? no. 1373. Do you read before going to sleep at night? sometimes. 1374. Are you a music maker? no. 1375. Are you a dreamer of the dreams? no. 1376. How do you feel about large corporations? whatever. 1377. How do you feel about people who are, “just doing their job”? fine. i’ve never lost my cool at a worker. the only times i have is when they’ve been rude to me first. 1378. Which would you watch of these choices: Pitch black The mummy Pretty woman <---- this 1380. About what percent of the time do you feel good about yourself? 40%. 1381. Do you feel comfortable with other people (in social situations)? if i know majority of the people then yeah. 1382. Do you have good friends/family relationships? yes. 1383. How do you control your tension and anxiety? just face it. 1384. Are you able to meet the demands of life and function in society? not really. 1385. Do you curb your feelings of hatred and guilt? i don’t usually come across those feelings. 1386. Do you maintain a positive outlook? yes. 1387. Does knowing you enrich the lives of others? ummm idk. 1388. What things do you cherish? family, boyfriend, friends. the life my parents have given me. 1389. To what extent do you value diversity? very much so. 1390. What fascinates you? different cultures. 1391. Do you appreciate nature? not really. 1392. If you could be someone else for a day who would you be? rihanna. 1393. Would you ever consider 'psychic surgery' if you were ill? only if i were on my death bed. How about voodoo? no. Herbal remedies? yes. 1394. How effective do you feel meditation is? idk, i never meditate. 1395. How effective do you feel prayer is? hmm idk. 1396. How do you think that you (or anyone, for that matter) could pray without ceasing? not sure? 1397. Is religion a live option for you (that is, a possibility, something you are drawn to even if you have no belief)? sure. 1398. What part of your body do you lavish the least attention and love on? stomach. 1399. How many clocks are in your house? man, heaps since they’re on random shit like the microwave, computers etc. 1400. What topics would you like to see more of on this survey? idk.

[jaimajuju]

1-150

Here goes nothing! 1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My best friend Dani! 2. Are you outgoing or shy?Shy at first, outgoing and loud once I get comfortable with the people and the environment I'm in! 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?I'm excited to meet a few old work friends for dinner Thursday, it's been way too long since I've seen them!4. Are you easy to get along with?I'd say so! I'm sure there's times when I'm difficult because I'm strong in my beliefs, though 😛5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?I don't like anyone in particular romantically right now! My friends take care of my drunk ass though thank goodness 😊6. What kind of people are you attracted to?People I can relate to; who are passionate about something and about life in general like I am. Usually artistic and funny people! 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?I'm enjoying the single life a little too much, so I would be shocked if I was! Haha8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?This one guy from school that I think is adorable even though I really shouldn't hahaha oops. 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?Not at all, it's actually one of my favorite topics! Let's talk sex! 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?Dani 😋11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?"Hahaha sorta kinda" to Dani 😂12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?Do Better - Say AnythingOverbiter - Say AnythingMary - Bayside Ghost - Halsey Castle - Halsey These are just right now, it changes almost daily 😅13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Depends who it is, but generally, no I don't really like people to touch me 🤔14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I do! Sometimes these are the only way to explain things. 15. What good thing happened this summer?I spent a lot of time and got close with my little cousin, and I had an internship for physical therapy!16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Always!17. Do you think there is life on other planets?I really do 👽18. Do you still talk to your first crush?Negative! I hope they're doing well though... I really have no idea where they are or what they do now!19. Do you like bubble baths?Are you kidding? They're one of my favorite things in this world 😍20. Do you like your neighbors?I don't know them well enough to say either way! But they're always respectful so basically yes. 21. What are your bad habits?Snacking too much probably. Or procrastinating on work!22. Where would you like to travel?Italy is next on my list! 23. Do you have trust issues?Unfortunately, yes. But I think we all have them at some level. 24. Favorite part of your daily routine?I love putting my makeup on! I just hate that I'm usually rushing to do it because I'm forever late 😅25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?My belly!26. What do you do when you wake up?The first thing I do every morning is drink some water! Then I usually go shower! 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?If I had to pick, I would want it to be darker! 28. Who are you most comfortable around?My best friends or my sister! 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?Yup, many times. 30. Do you ever want to get married?I would really love to someday, but only if it feels completely right.. and I've been questioning if that will really happen or if I'm cut out for marriage a lot lately 😬31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes!32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?Hahaha. Johnnny Depp and anyone else he wanted 😂33. Spell your name with your chin.Jaima (I really typed Jqina but it autocorrected to my name 🎉)34. Do you play sports? What sports?I don't in college for lack of time, but in high school I played soccer and basketball and ran track. 35. Would you rather live without TV or music?Without TV!36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?Of course haha 37. What do you say during awkward silences?I'm decent at making small talk about whatever pertains to the person I'm talking to! 38. Describe your dream girl/guy?Someone who can make me laugh, makes me think on a deeper level, who cares about similar things to me, and makes me feel safe. Things like that. 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?American eagle and Old Navy for clothes. Walmart for almost everything else hahah 40. What do you want to do after high school?Well when I was in high school, I wanted to go on to college and I followed through on that! 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?I truly do. I've been told recently I may be a little too generous in that sense, because it seems to backfire more often than not.42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?It either means I'm tired, I'm lost in a daydream (which happens often), or someone said something that upset me.43. Do you smile at strangers?Every time I make eye contact with anyone, I smile! Haha 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?Bottom of the ocean 😍45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?All the possibilities of what I could encounter each day, the opportunity to move forward to where I want to be, the people I love, the endless amazing and beautiful little things the world has to offer, etc. 46. What are you paranoid about?That secretly, everyone hates me. And that even when I think I did, I may not have locked the car or house doors. And that I have something on my face after I've eaten and no one will tell me. Lots of things 😂47. Have you ever been high?I have.48. Have you ever been drunk?Oh yes haha 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?Not that I can think of! I'm pretty open50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?Grey! 51. Ever wished you were someone else?I don't think so!52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?I want to be more outwardly positive and kind. I want what I feel on the inside to be portrayed better on the outside. 53. Favourite makeup brand?Tarte, even though I only own about 2 of their products.. if I had more money I would own a lot of them haha 54. Favourite store?Overall? Probably Marshall's because deals 🙃55. Favourite blog?Probably @hom0sexualunicorn because she reblogs/likes my stuff religiously and I am so thankful! 56. Favourite colour?Pink 🎀57. Favourite food? Margherita pizza!58. Last thing you ate?Chocolate ice cream!59. First thing you ate this morning?Fruity pebbles 😛60. Ever won a competition? For what?I've won shot put for track before! 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?Nope!62. Been arrested? For what?No sir.63. Ever been in love? A couple times!64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?Nothing special, I promise! It was 5th grade at a friend's pool party while we were playing spin the bottle. It was her step brother and I pretended that I thought it was the worst thing in the entire world, but secretly I found him kinda cute and regret not giving him a chance because he's 🔥 now hahah65. Are you hungry right now?No I'm actually really full hahah66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?I don't necessarily have "Tumblr friends" haha I don't even know how to go about getting them but it would be dope if I did! 67. Facebook or Twitter?Twitter!68. Twitter or Tumblr?Tumblr for sure!69. Are you watching tv right now?I am haha My Big Fat Fabulous Life! 70. Names of your bestfriends? Dani, Abby, Alyssa, Paula, Kristen, Emilie.71. Craving something? What?A bath, some candles, and a good book!72. What colour are your towels?I have a purple one, pink one, blue one, and grey one 😂72. How many pillows do you sleep with?One under my head and then a body pillow to hug! 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?I have a stuffed turtle that my sister got me at the Central Park Zoo that I've been snugglin lately 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?Oh boy haha I used to collect them and have so many, but it's probably down to about 7 now! 75. Favourite animal?Giraffes!76. What colour is your underwear?Neon pink hahah77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Chocolate. I hate vanilla 😩78. Favourite ice cream flavour?Fireball 😋79. What colour shirt are you wearing?Black like my soul hahah 80. What colour pants?Heather grey 81. Favourite tv show?Of all time? Probably Weeds! 82. Favourite movie?Either Moulin Rouge or The Duchess 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?The original is always better; Mean Girls!84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls!85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?Janice Ian 😄86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?Dory!87. First person you talked to today?My grandma! 88. Last person you talked to today?Dani! 89. Name a person you hate?I'm trying not to hate anyone anymore because I don't need that negative energy.90. Name a person you love?My sister! 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?Mayyybbbeeee if the opportunity presented itself! Haha just kidding, I wouldn't. 92. In a fight with someone?No!93. How many sweatpants do you have?Not many, I think only one pair and I never wear them!94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Probably like 10-15. 95. Last movie you watched?Texas Chainsaw Massacre96. Favourite actress?I don't really have one!97. Favourite actor?Johnny Depp!98. Do you tan a lot?I don't go to the tanning salon but I tan outside when its summer a good amount! 99. Have any pets?I had a fishy in my dorm but sadly she recently passed away. I miss her so much 😔100. How are you feeling?Pretty good tonight, thank you! 101. Do you type fast?People tell me all the time that I'm very fast at it haha on the computer and my phone. 102. Do you regret anything from your past?No use regretting what can't be changed! But I definitely try to take the mistakes and learn from them. 103. Can you spell well?I try my best, but I wouldn't say I was exceptional at it or anything! 104. Do you miss anyone from your past?Not necessarily. I think it's good to realize that people meant to be in your life will be, so there's a reason those people remain in my past. 105. Ever been to a bonfire party?Yes, I love them!106. Ever broken someone’s heart?Unfortunately, yes. 107. Have you ever been on a horse?Yes one time, it was so frightening hahah108. What should you be doing?Nothing! I'm on break from school so being lazy is okay at the moment, thank goodness!109. Is something irritating you right now?Nope, things are pretty chill right now. 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?I can't say I have... sounds unhealthy 😟111. Do you have trust issues?Yeah, it's hard for me to trust people anymore. 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?I don't even know, it's been a long time.. but the last I remember was my best friend Abby! 113. What was your childhood nickname?Jaima juju, Boo114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Yes!115. Do you play the Wii?I used to when we had one!116. Are you listening to music right now?I'm not but I wish I was! 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?Only when I'm sick!118. Do you like Chinese food?Yes, yummy. 119. Favourite book?'Story of a Girl' and 'Star Girl' will forever be my favorites. 120. Are you afraid of the dark?I sure am. 121. Are you mean?I really try not to be, but I'm sure I have my moments 😕122. Is cheating ever okay?I'm really not the best person to ask about this because I would say yes, even though I know it probably shouldn't be.123. Can you keep white shoes clean?Not a chance! 124. Do you believe in love at first sight?No! 125. Do you believe in true love?It's much harder than it used to be to believe in it, but I'm not necessarily giving up on it yet either.126. Are you currently bored?Nope! It takes a lot for me to be bored, I'm good at entertaining myself and I enjoy the mundane every once in a while since I'm usually pretty busy!127. What makes you happy?So many things! Coffee, flowers, sunshine, rain, poetry, music, art, my friends, good smells, new clothes, sleeping, food, etc. That list could go on forever! 128. Would you change your name?Nooo I love my name! 129. What your zodiac sign?Pisces 🐠130. Do you like subway?Love it! 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?That would be a big problem because he's my best friend's boyfriend! I would tell him I couldn't do that to her! 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?Dani! 133. Favourite lyrics right now?All of Halsey's Badlands album134. Can you count to one million?I honestly don't think I have the attention span to do that, no haha 135. Dumbest lie you ever told?"I'll be there in 5 minutes" and I tell it way too often 😂136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed closed closed, always.137. How tall are you? 5'6 and 3/4"... that 3/4 is pretty critical 138. Curly or Straight hair?Straight but with some lil waves.139. Brunette or Blonde?Brunette!140. Summer or Winter?Very hard choice, but probably summer.141. Night or Day?Night for sure!142. Favourite month?October 🙊143. Are you a vegetarian?I'm not 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Milk, definitely. I strongly dislike the other two!145. Tea or Coffee?Coffee! 146. Was today a good day?It was pretty good! 147. Mars or Snickers?I don't like either of themmm148. What’s your favourite quote?I love way too many to choose a favorite! Quotes are my life. But the first to come to mind is "if you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way" by Napoleon Hill 149. Do you believe in ghosts?I do! 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? "I've had sex, she said"

[obsidianarchives]

For My Consideration: Moonlight, Loving, and Fences

You have no idea how excited I am to write about these three movies. Keep in mind that in watching these movies, I saw more notable characters of color and female characters than all of the movies I watched last year. Amazingly, these three movies all dealt with different aspects of blackness in different eras of American life. I partially wished I watched these films in reverse order because it tells its own sort of story. Fences, the Denzel Washington-led adaptation of the August Wilson's Pulitzer and Tony award winning play, tells the story of a Black family in Pittsburgh during the 1950s. Loving is a historical biopic that recounts the relationship of Richard and Mildred Loving, the plaintiffs in the 1967 U.S. Supreme Court decision Loving v. Virginia, which allowed for the national recognition of interracial marriage. Moonlight is a modern tale of a boy in Miami growing up around drugs and struggling with sexual identity in an environment of toxic masculinity. The similarities within these three different films set in three different time periods really highlight the unifying ties of the Black experience. Though I've tasked myself with evaluating all of these films on their different merits, I cannot deny that these three films were the ones I was most anxious to watch.

Moonlight

Potential nominations: Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Director, Best Cinematography, and Best Film Editing

Not only is Moonlight a terribly powerful film, it's success and word-of-mouth buzz is the embodiment of the spirit of the Academy Awards. Without all of the Oscar buzz, I doubt I would have been seeing this small film - which did not cast a single white actor - in a packed Friday night theater. Moonlight was filmed on a budget of under $5 million and is currently in theaters nationwide and has made about $12 million so far. The story is told in three parts and is centered on a dark-skinned black boy named Chiron through three formative stages of his life. It opens with his being chased by bullies and taken in by Juan who takes a liking to the shy, young, quiet boy and brings him home to his girlfriend Theresa. We see Chiron's chaotic home life, with a drug addicted mother and not quite fitting in with kids his age. We also find out that Juan, though a kind and caring father figure to Chiron, is a drug dealer who, it turns out, deals to Chiron's mother. In the second part, Chiron is now in high school, Juan has been killed and Chiron's mother Paula has sunk further into her addiction. Chiron who had questions about his sexuality as a younger boy is even more isolated and ostracized by his peers. He has a sexual encounter with his childhood friend, Kevin, followed closely by a fateful encounter with a bully that changes his life. In part three, Chiron is now in Atlanta and selling drugs while his mother is repentant in recovery. After receiving a random call from Kevin, he takes an impromptu trip back to Miami to reconnect with the one person he never got over. 

Moonlight is based on the Tarell Alvin McCraney play In Moonlight Black Boys Look Blue and was adapted and directed by Barry Jenkins. This film has a quiet yet powerful energy and tells a story that is at once unique and universal. A clear indication of the thoughtfulness of the film is shown through the thoughtfulness of the interviews with the people involved in the film. Moonlight was an absolute pleasure to watch and if you enjoy true independent small budget films that tell personal stories and feature strong and complex Black characters, you will very much enjoy Moonlight.

Loving

Potential nominations: Best Picture, Best Actress, Best Actor, Best Director, Best Production Design, and Best Costume Design

Loving tells the story of Mildred and Richard Loving's marriage and life together before and during their 1960's lawsuit against the state of Virginia to recognize their union. While this landmark court case and victory for civil rights is still celebrated each year, this movie attempts to spend more time getting to know the couple and the impact it had on their family. The film was full of lovely shots of the Virginia landscape that romanticized country living and tried to explain the couple's desire to remain in Virginia near their family. As a full-fledged city girl, I could almost see the appeal. Unfortunately, I felt Loving was too focused on Richard and not enough on Mildred, who was played by the brilliant Ruth Negga. While Richard as the white husband undoubtedly faced danger and the fear of being unable to protect his wife and family, there was no attention paid to the unique challenges that Mildred faced. How did strangers react to her while out in public with her mixed raced children? Though she was the catalyst for the lawsuit and took on the national spotlight with grace, the film only showed how that backlash affected the shy and quiet Richard and not the negative consequences faced by Mildred.

I did enjoy seeing comedian Nick Kroll in a serious and quiet film, even though his character was, if not comedic, definitely goofy. Similar to Moonlight, the film was quiet, replacing long monologues with lingering looks and expressions filled with meaning. If you enjoy historical biopics and movies set in the Civil Rights era about overcoming overt racism you will like this film. Not as ambitious as Selma or as overt as Malcolm X, Loving sits in the middle of the spectrum of this genre of movies and though the performances are great I wasn't as moved as I hoped to be from the start.

Fences

Potential nominations: Best Film, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Supporting Actor, and Best Director

I was fortunate enough to see the Broadway revival of Fences starring Denzel Washington and Viola Davis in 2010 and was excited to hear that they would be in the film adaptation and that Denzel would be directing. Fences is the story of the Maxon family led by Troy (Denzel Washington), and his relationships with his wife Rose, his best friend Bono, his older brother Gabe who sustained a head injury in World War II, and his sons Lyon and Cory. The fence is the large theme and metaphor that spans the film from happy and loveable moments to moments of tense arguments and betrayals. 

As Fences is an adaptation of a stage play, the acting is bigger and the dialogue is full of flourishing and poetic language which works so well on stage but is a bit jarring on screen. I was utterly immersed in the film and every actor was bringing their A game. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that August Wilson adapted his own work into the screenplay before his death in 2005, and it shows. The film is imbued with a lyricism that is uncommon for a movie, even Oscar fodder that we are used to seeing around this time. In case you have been living under a rock for the past 30 years you should already realize that Denzel Washington is one hell of an actor and his performance, like the character he played, was an inescapable presence onscreen. However, Washington is also a giving performer who surrounded himself with the best. I would recommend this film to literally everyone and if you enjoy good stories you should watch this movie. 

I was so impressed by these films and it has only made me more excited to continue my Oscar watch. As it stands now, Moonlight is favored to take home Best Picture though Manchester By the Sea is also experiencing huge buzz. If it's even half as good as Moonlight or Fences I will be quite satisfied. The telling of these specific stories through the medium of film is important because it allows us a personal and intimate portrait of lives that may seem so far removed from our own yet still hold elements of relatability for all people. This is why I love film and I love Oscar season, for the wide range of stories being highlighted that would otherwise be overshadowed by the big budget action films of the summer (which are great) and the depth of emotion these stories can pull out of me.