#I spend the whole month planing this well just 3 days i hope you enjoy it i have so much fun

[hellodropbear]

homesick.

ingrid engen x mapi leon x child

isabel's first international camp.

this is a long one but i hope you enjoy and i hope it's up to scratch!

pls give me more requests i love them and i am slowly getting through them i promise

heaps of uni at the moment though so might take a while for me to get them out :)

~~~~~~

Isabel had been on a plane before. 

She had sat by the window many times, staring out the window as the buildings below got smaller and smaller, until all she could see was the bright lights in the distance. 

Ingrid and Mapi are professional football players, on a plane nearly every week. They also loved to travel, around Spain, to other countries in Europe. 

Up to Norway to visit Ingrid's home, her family. Everything she knew as she grew up. 

But usually, Mapi was on the plane too, right beside her with her bag full of toys and snacks. 

But today, Mapi was one of those people getting smaller and smaller in the distance and instead it was Ingrid beside her, Ingrid with the snacks and toys that would be more than enough to keep the child occupied for two days, let alone the two hours that they'd spend on the plane before touching down in the Scandinavian country. 

It was weird for the child, flying away from her Mami. It was 10 days away from her and the last time she had spent a night away she had cried so much that Mapi had to come stay at Alexia's as well. 

But that was back when she had only just turned 3. 

She was 4 now and both Mapi and Ingrid were confident that the child would be perfectly happy with the Norwegian, the centre back often complaining that Ingrid was the favourite even though Mapi was the one who gave birth to her, the one who raised her alone for 14 months. 

"You should have come here earlier," Mapi would say "You left me alone with a baby!"

Ingrid would blush profusely, overwhelmed with love and adoration for the two, as well as a huge amount of gratitude that they chose her - that they let her become part of their tiny family. 

In saying that, sending Isabel to Norway with Ingrid was an almost impossible decision for Mapi and she had spent weeks debating the idea in her head, with Ingrid, Alexia, her family. 

Everyone had said the same thing. 

Ingrid loved Isabel and Isabel loved Ingrid. Their family of two was becoming a family of three and all three of them loved each other an exponential amount. 

It wasn't sending Isabel to Norway, it was letting her go on a trip with Ingrid, something she had been begging for since she was old enough to understand why the Norwegian left every couple of months. 

The whole problem was her cousin's wedding, a child free event that Mapi's entire family would be at. 

She never got to see her whole family together, especially now she was dating Ingrid and they shared their already limited time between both Ingrid and Mapi's families. 

But this wedding coincidentally fell on an international break, the perfect opportunity to see everyone for a few days of uninterrupted celebration. 

It was just a shame that no children were invited. 

Mapi understood the reasons why, but it left her with the problem of where her daughter could go. 

She told Ingrid she'd miss the wedding, but the Norwegian had rolled her eyes, immediately telling her girlfriend to stop being stupid, that she'd take Isabel to Norway with her. 

Initially, the Spaniard was completely against the idea.

But eventually she agreed, which is how Ingrid found herself with an overexcited toddler bouncing in her seat as the plane touched down in Norway, gripping onto Ingrid's wrist with an overwhelmingly large grin on her face. 

"Excited, Is?"

Ingrid smiled amusedly at the brunette, placing her hand on her curly hair to try and calm her down. 

It was an impossible task though, because Isabel just nodded enthusiastically, her head almost falling off at the speed at which she moved her head up and down. 

She was still excited as the plane emptied out, as she bounced down the aisle, her hand tight in Ingrid's as they exited the plane and walked on the tarmac, shivering with a smile at the cool autumn air. 

She knew that Norwegian summers were a lot colder than the summer back home, but the autumn was event colder and Isabel didn't realise how much the climate would drop in the four months since they last visited. 

She bounded alongside the tall Norwegian, only slowing down to a walk when Ingrid's hand moved from her hand to her shoulder, physically slowing her down.

"It's an airport, Is, you have to stay with me so you don't get lost, alright?"

She nodded, grinning up at Ingrid who just smiled at her, unable to wipe away her grin when the giddy child was accompanying her to Norway. 

She stared out the window throughout the whole drive from the airport to the hotel, clutching onto Ingrid's hand as they entered the building, full of other people in Norway clothes that matched Ingrid.

"Ingrid." 

She tugged on her shirt, coming to a stop just inside of the doors. 

"What's wrong, Is?"

Her smile had been replaced with an anxious frown that Ingrid had immediately caught onto, waiting for the child to say something. 

"What if... what if I forget my Norwegian?"

Ingrid crouched down, moving a stray hair out of Isabel's forehead. Her hand stayed on her head as she smiled shaking her head. 

"It will be ok. I can translate for you, yeah?"

She waited as Isabel nodded hesitantly before continuing. 

"Besides, your Norwegian is so good I don't think you'd be able to forget it! You're so smart, Is!"

Isabel nodded, biting her lip and Ingrid realised that she was actually quite nervous. Deciding to take a different approach, she stood up and pulled Isabel into a room off the side, sitting down in front of her and motioning for her to sit down as well. 

"What are you doing, Ingrid?"

"We're going to go through some Norwegian."

And that's what they did for the next half hour, they went through Norwegian words and phrases that Isabel already knew, Ingrid tickling her every time she got something right. 

She was successful in cheering the four year old up, her peals of laughter audible from all over the first floor of the hotel. 

With a newfound confidence and a refreshed excitement, Isabel gripped onto Ingrid's hand as they wandered out of the little side room and towards the Norwegian media team who were ready and waiting with their cameras.

Ingrid's hand over her face did little to stop the child from using some of her Norwegian words though, pushing the protective hand away and grinning up at the people behind the cameras.

"Hei! Jeg er Isabel og dette er min Ingrid!"

~~~~~~

She successfully charmed all of the Norwegian staff upon their first meeting, following Ingrid all the way up to their room with a smile on her face. She was happy to see a little bed beside Ingrid's big one, dumping her bag on it before bounding over to the other side of the room and throwing herself on the big bed.

Ingrid smiled, shaking her head with a sigh and pulling the child back, away from the bed and towards the bathroom. 

"It's bath time, Is!"

The child sighed disappointedly, following the Norwegian and sitting on the chair in the bathroom as Ingrid filled up the bathtub with water and soap. 

"Soo..." The child swung her legs beneath the chair, catching Ingrid's attention before continuing. "What do you normally do when I'm not here?"

Ingrid shrugged, smiling. 

"Usually I'll get into bed and miss you and your Mami! It's why I am always calling in the nights when I'm away, because I'm not busy and I'm by myself which makes me miss you more."

Isabel jumped down from the chair, standing beside where Ingrid was sitting on the ledge of the bath. 

"Can we call Mami after bath time?"

Ingrid nodded. 

"She would be sad if we didn't!" 

The bath was full, and Isabel held Ingrid's hand for stability as she climbed in, sinking down into the warm water with a satisfied sigh, leaning into Ingrid's large and soft hand. 

The Norwegian pulled her out of the bath when there was more water on the bathroom floor and Ingrid than there was in the bath, complaining loudly about getting everything wet. 

She giggled as Ingrid dried her off, carrying her in her towel over to where she'd dumped her backpack, pulling out the pyjamas that had been strategically placed right at the top of the bag. 

"Cuddles?"

Ingrid smiled. To be fair, the child looked comfortable in her fuzzy pyjamas, tucked underneath the blankets of Ingrid's bed and surrounded by a barricade of pillows. She took a quick picture, shaking her head. 

"We are going to ring Mami now, and then I'll have my own shower. Cuddles soon, though!" 

It satisfied Isabel, who immediately perked up even more at the though of her mother on the other side of the phone. Mapi picked up after the first ring and Ingrid immediately passed the phone off to the child. 

"Mami!" 

She grinned down the phone, holding it up so only her mouth was visible in the camera. Ingrid laughed, setting up a pillow in front of the child as a stand and resting the phone there so Mapi could actually see the child. 

"Hola mi pequena!" 

Mapi was in bed, the night light on but the rest of her room dark. 

"I miss you so much already, Is!"

Isabel nodded, her face falling only slightly. 

"I miss you too, Mami." She frowned, biting her lip. "I wish you could come with me and Ingrid."

Ingrid left them to it, having her own shower. She could hear Isabel's giggles from the bathroom as she got ready for bed, Mapi's animated voice also audible through the closed door. 

The Norwegian knew how lucky she was to have gained the dynamic duo when she moved to Barcelona. She never expected to find love in the warm city, let alone a child too. It was something that came completely unexpectedly, but something she also couldn't imagine her life without. 

Despite still not living with them, she was there every day. She would put Isabel to bed, read her stories, feed her dinner. She was there when she woke up, making breakfast and feeding the dog. 

She went on every walk to the park, a daily event that had become something of a ritual to the small family, the park meaning so much to them.

She was often mistaken as a mother, a balanced amount of fun, discipline and care. 

It was a soft topic, really. 

Ingrid wished more than anything that Isabel saw her as a mother, that all her thoughts and anxieties would be validated. She didn't want to just be Mapi's girlfriend, she wanted to be a mother too. 

Mapi told her that she was being silly, of course Ingrid was Isabel's mother as well. 

"You don't look after a child this much, you don't watch her grow from a baby to a child without being a mother." Mapi would insist. "You arrived when she was still so little. You and I are all she knows. We are both her mothers."

Ingrid would shake her head because it all seemed so wrong. If she was a mother, she wouldn't be called Ingrid. She would be on those forms from school and would receive the emails about Isabel's progress too. 

But she didn't, because she wasn't a mother. 

She finished up in the bathroom, but remained behind the door for a few more minutes, just listening to Mapi and Isabel interact, hearing how the centre back spoke to her child with so much adoration, so much love. How she listened to everything Isabel said and how Isabel hung onto Mapi's words like they came straight out of god's mouth. 

She heard the laughter, the happiness. She could see the smiles on their faces despite the wall that blocked her vision. 

But when she walked out, Isabel's smile brightened, shuffling over to make space for her. 

"Ingrid just came back, Mami!" 

The Norwegian moved into the camera frame, Mapi's face softening at the sight of her girlfriend. 

"Hola my love."

Ingrid blushed, her hand coming to rest around Isabel as they chatted away, allowing the child to slowly drift off as the two defenders spoke calmly through the phone. She was fighting to stay awake to listen but felt her eyes drooping as she became limp in Ingrid's arms. 

"Night Mami. Night Ingrid."

Ingrid.

~~~~~~

Isabel woke up before Ingrid the next morning, full of childish excitement about the day ahead. It was exciting, being here with Ingrid, and she wanted to make the most of every day. 

But she didn't want to wake Ingrid up from her sleep so instead she got out her drawing book and pencils, pulling Ingrid's phone off charge and calling Mapi simultaneously. 

It was the morning, so why wouldn't she say good morning to her mother like she had done every single morning of her life?

But Mapi was confused when her phone started ringing at 7am, frowning at her girlfriend's name that lit up the phone. 

She had planned on sleeping in until noon, probably, only rolling out of bed when absolutely necessary - to reluctantly go for a run or to the gym. The Spaniard had not expected this early morning wake up call and her stomach dropped, immediately assuming there was something wrong. 

"Ingrid?" It was a facetime call, but Mapi could only see the roof in the frame, the phone not held up properly. 

"Hola Mami!" 

Despite the low volume, the four year old's voice was way too cheerful for this early in the morning. 

"Isabel, what are you doing on Ingrid's phone? Why are you awake so early?"

The child frowned at her mother's chides, biting her lip and shrugging. 

"To say mornin', mami! And I'm being extra quiet with my voice because I don't wanna wake Ingrid up."

Mapi smiled, her heart melting all over again at her own daughter's words. 

"Ok, Is. What are you going to do while you wait for Ingrid to wake up?"

She didn't answer verbally, instead picking up the phone and awkwardly angling it onto the empty page in front of her. 

"'M drawing!" 

Mapi could only chuckle, settling down in her bed and resting her phone on the pillow as she spoke easily to her daughter. 

She laughed even more as Ingrid's alarm went off, the surprise making Isabel jump right out of her skin before she made a quick recovery, scampering off towards the big bed and poking Ingrid on the side. 

"I know, Is, wake up time."

She heard Mapi's laughter, frowning in confusion as her eyes opened slowly. She was in Norway, Mapi was in Spain? It was too early to realise that the laughter was actually just coming through a phone speaker. 

"Morning sleepyhead." 

Ingrid's eyes scanned the room, searching for the source of her girlfriend's voice before they finally landed on the table on the other side of the room, a full set up of paper and pencils, Ingrid's phone laying face up beside. 

"Did you ring Mami, Is?"

She sat up, her feet coming to rest on the floor beside the bed and her hand reaching around Isabel's waist as the child nodded guiltily. 

"I say mornin' to Mami every day!" 

Ingrid sighed, standing up and walking over to the table, chuckling at Mapi's tired face as she lay in bed, her hair a mess and the blanket tucked up to her chin. 

"You don't have to sleep with the air conditioning on when I'm not there, Maria."

The Norwegian smiled lightly. It was a passing comment she made a couple years ago about how she liked sleeping in colder rooms. Ever since, Mapi had insisted on the air conditioning being turned on despite her own preference for the warmth. 

She would say Ingrid would warm her up, that Ingrid is her princesa, she had to have the best conditions. 

But Ingrid wasn't even in the country and the Spaniard was clearly cold in her bed despite her best efforts to cover up with the duvet. 

She shook her head, her face falling momentarily. 

"I like it." 

Ingrid's voice melted at how soft Mapi's voice was, wanting nothing more than to wrap her up in a hug and warm her up herself. 

"We slept in the cold too!" 

Isabel had climbed as high as she could on Ingrid until the Norwegian relented, helping her up and holding her on her side.

"Were you cold, Is?" Ingrid frowned slightly, worried that she had made the room too cold. Changing the thermometer was a habit, she realised. 

"No, because you are so warm, Ingrid!" 

Mapi smiled, her forehead creasing with happiness and perhaps a little bit of jealousy.

She missed the pair of them, of course she did. She didn't realise how empty her world would be without her daughter until she got home from the airport, no child to feed, to put to bed, to entertain.

No reason to watch cartoons on the TV either, but she found herself tempted to switch on the inane shows that Isabel loved so much.

She didn't need to leave the bedroom door open because there was no chance that Isabel would wake up in the night and want to come and sleep in her bed, but she left it open out of habit, only realising that it was pointless once she had already buried herself under the covers of the inanely cold room.

It was never as warm when she wasn't in Ingrid's arms.

There was nobody to talk to when she was curled up in bed, nobody to laugh with or cry with. She wasn't used to going about her day alone, not used to being so unoccupied, so bored. 

The silence was too eerie for Mapi as she sat on the sofa, even Baloo and Bagheera suffering from the absence of the energetic and excitable child and the calming Norwegian.

But they were in Norway, perfectly content away from home and without the comfort of their Mapi, right there whenever they wanted it.

It was devastating, really, realising that Isabel didn't need her anymore. It felt like just yesterday that she had sobbed her heart out at Alexia's, only calming down when her Mami was in sight, content to be warmed by the tattooed arms.

Apparently, Ingrid noticed the way Mapi's eyes glazed over slightly, her features softening as she read the situation with practiced ease.

"It would have been warmer with Mami here though, right?"

Isabel frowned slightly, looking at her mother through the phone screen.

She nodded, looking back up at Ingrid.

"Mami has the warmest arms, Ingrid. She makes me so warm."

Mapi had to hold back her tears, smiling gratefully at Ingrid who could only nod with pride.

"You make me warm too, my lion cub."

~~~~~~

Their phone call with Mapi lasted a while, she stayed on facetime as they both changed and as Ingrid braided Isabel's hair back for the day. She was very proud of herself, wearing a Norway jersey that Ingrid had adjusted to fit her. It was a match worn one and was entirely too big when she first put it on, but she refused to wear anything else to support Ingrid when she was playing with her country.

Ingrid had pulled out her sewing needles, shortening the length and sleeves. It still swallowed the child, but at least she could wear it without the hem getting in the way of her legs when she walked.

She was excited to show off the big 7 on her back, the name that belonged to her Ingrid.

It was her claim to the brunette in front of all the Norwegian players and she was so sure they would be so impressed that she was so close with their coveted midfielder.

She had a grin on her face as they went through the Norwegian phrases she had learnt and as she pestered Ingrid about the different players that she would be meeting today. She knew Caro, of course, but that was all. She had seen the others on TV, from a distance when she came to watch with Mapi.

But not once had she met any of them, always slightly anxious around new people and entirely unconfident in her Norwegian speaking and comprehending abilities. She never believed Mapi or Ingrid when they told her it would be ok, that Ingrid could translate.

It was Norwegian or nothing for the child.

Ingrid assumed that was the reason why Isabel's grip on her hand tightened significantly as they walked down the corridor. She assumed it was why her leg suddenly became the best hiding spot the child could think of.

There was no other explanation as to why her entire demeanour changed as soon as they left the room, from the excited and optimistic child she knew to an anxious and stoic child that she could barely recognise.

She knew better than to say anything though, knowing that if she started crying now she likely wouldn't stop until they were alone again. Unfortunately, that wasn't an option for Ingrid because she had to train, she couldn't just sit with Isabel all day.

As much as she would love to.

It was on purpose that they were the first in the dining room for breakfast, allowing them to make their way through the buffet slowly and sit on an empty table.

Isabel perked up when she noticed the empty room but it was only brief as slowly, all of the players trickled in, their voices loud and fast.

Ingrid squeezed the little girl closer to her, her heart breaking at the way Isabel tensed in her lap.

"Look, Is!" Ingrid pointed over at the door. "Caro's just arrived!"

She forced on a smile, her hands shaking and her breathing rapid.

"Hei, Caro." She whispered softly, not registering that the familiar face was on the other side of the room, completely occupied by the unfamiliar figure approaching.

"Ingrid." She tugged on the brunette's shorts, reaching her arms towards her. Ingrid understood exactly what she was asking for, pulling her onto her lap and wrapping her arms around her.

It was Frida who sat beside Ingrid, smiling as she placed her plate on the table and pulled her chair in.

"It's just Frida, Is, she's not scary at all." The brunette smiled apologetically at Frida as she loosened her hold on Isabel, encouraging her to look at the blonde.

She turned, a shy smile on her face as she leaned into Ingrid.

"Hi Isabel!" She grinned, quickly making Isabel more comfortable. "I can't believe I'm finally meeting you! Ingrid has told me so much about you."

She spoke in slow Norwegian, praying that the child would understand. She had heard all about her problems with confidence in the language - it was the only reason she hadn't met her before.

The blonde felt herself relax in relief as Isabel nodded, replying in hesitant Norwegian.

"Nice to meet you, Frida."

Ingrid grinned, placing a kiss on the top of Isabel's head which prompted the child to look up for affirmation.

"Good?"

"Perfect, Is! I'm so proud of you."

Frida could only smile at their interaction, completely aware of how much Ingrid adored the little girl, how much she worried that she would never be enough for her.

Frida knew she was more than enough. 

The table filled up slowly, but Isabel buried her head back into Ingrid again, apparently too scared to meet anyone else during breakfast. It changed slightly as they left the dining hall when she spotted Caro from afar, scampering over to the familiar forward and barging into the back of her legs.

Ingrid thanked her Barcelona teammate when Isabel was deposited at her room maybe five minutes later, waving goodbye to the child.

They didn't have long in the room, just enough time for Ingrid to change into her training clothes and quickly throw some paper, pencils and snacks in Isabel's backpack.

"If you get bored or tired or feel sick or anything, min elske, come straight to me, alright? Or you can find Caro if you want but make sure you tell someone so we can help you, alright?"

It was the same deal as at Barcelona training. Her time spent at training had decreased dramatically since starting school and usually Camila was there with her, but she would always sit on a rug under the same tree, occupying herself with drawing or colouring or another miscellaneous activity when she became bored of watching the football.

Usually, Baloo was right beside her, her leash tied onto the tree which allowed her a little bit of room to roam freely when Isabel wasn't holding her favourite animal.

But Baloo wasn't there and neither were the people that Isabel knew, the people she was comfortable enough with to say when something was wrong. Usually, things didn't go wrong.

But it was clear that the child was on edge, her emotions all over the place as she adjusted to Norway and all these new people.

"Phone to call Mami?"

She looked up hopefully and Ingrid smiled, putting her phone in the front pocket of the bag.

"To call Mami, Is. Don't play with this because if it breaks we won't be able to talk to her at all!"

Isabel nodded, letting Ingrid put the backpack on her back.

"Go time?"

The midfielder nodded, ignoring Isabel's hand that reached out to grab Ingrid and instead picking her up, settling her on her hip and holding her easily with one hand.

"Mami says I'm too big to be carried, Ingrid."

Ingrid laughed quietly, planting a soft kiss on her head.

"Maybe. But you'll always be our little girl."

~~~~~~

It turned out that Ingrid was worried for a good reason.

She had kept an eye on Isabel for most of training as she watched them train, as she did her drawing. She watched some, drew for a bit, over and over again. It was a cycle, really, and she wasn't getting bored.

But apparently she tried to call Mapi and Mapi didn't pick up.

That is where the tears had come from. That is why Caro had run the few metres over immediately picking her up and carrying her out of the view of the rest of the Norwegian players, Ingrid following quickly behind. 

She was inconsolable because she wanted to talk to her Mami, because she missed her Mami.

Mapi said she would pick up the phone when she called, she had promised her child that she was the most important thing in her life and that she would drop anything if she saw Ingrid's name come up on her phone.

It was why Isabel had been so keen to come to Norway, reassured over and over again that if anything went wrong, if she was sad, scared or just wanted to hear Mapi's voice she would be able to call and hear it.

But she had called and Mapi hadn't picked up. She remembers frowning, looking around and calling again.

And again.

And again.

By the fourth time, her hands were shaking.

By the fifth, she had to bite her lip to stop it from trembling so much.

By the sixth, there were tears in her eyes, beginning to slowly slip down her face.

But the seventh was the final straw, it seemed, and as soon as the straw was pulled out the child collapsed into sobs. Cries for her Mami, for her home.

Loud cries in Spanish, desperate for the home comfort of being able to speak her first language without worrying about any language barriers. 

Crying because she called seven times and Mapi hadn't picked up once. She said she would drop anything, because Isabel was the most important. She promised.

But she didn't.

Maybe she'd been in Norway too long. Maybe Mapi realised how much easier her life was without her daughter, how much better.

It was only day one. 

She knew she missed home, but it felt so far away.

Even as Ingrid held her close and rocked her as she had done so many times before. As she whispered quiet Spanish as the cries quietened down, allowing Isabel to whimper in her arms instead. 

"M-mami didn't pick up, Ingrid." The hurt in her voice was almost painful for Ingrid to hear. "Mami has more important things now I'm gone from her."

Immediately, Ingrid shook her head because there was no way she would let Isabel think that was true in even the slightest. 

Because everybody in Mapi's life knew that the little girl she called her daughter was the number one top priority at all times. There were never excuses, never changes. 

She was Mapi's everything and Ingrid knew that if the Spaniard caught wind of her daughter thinking this she would be completely and utterly heartbroken. 

It wasn't true. 

It was perhaps one of the most blindingly false statements Ingrid had ever heard. 

"That is not true, Isabel, and I don't want you to ever think or say that again."

Her voice was stern and left no room for questions and Isabel whimpered quietly.

"Mami loves you so, so much, Is. You will always be the most important thing in her life."

Her voice softened easily, but she frowned as Isabel held up seven of her fingers. 

"This many times. She didn't pick up."

Ingrid adjusted Isabel's position, facing her and looking her straight in the eye. 

"She might be driving, she might have left her phone in her room. She didn't ignore you, I promise."

The child looked up at her, the tearful eyes hopeful. 

"Promise?"

She held out her pinky which Ingrid shook gently. 

"I promise."

~~~~~~

Ingrid thinks that the whole incident may have been what triggered the homesickness. 

She wasn't sleeping in her own bed at all, only settling after hours of fidgeting and whimpering in Ingrid's arms, waking up after a couple hours of restless sleep.  

She was tearful all the time, always clinging onto Ingrid, reluctantly releasing her whenever she had to train. 

She only ate what was practically forced down her throat, claiming she was full, that she didn't feel hungry. 

Mapi thinks it is her fault, she shouldn't have gone to the wedding, she should have picked up the phone that day. It's all she can think about as she sits through the ceremony, almost booking a flight from her seat at the reception. 

But Ingrid was telling her not to, that it'd all be ok. She could deal with it for a few more days while the wedding was still on and Mapi could come afterwards if she wasn't getting any better.

But Ingrid desperately wanted to prove she could do this, she wanted to show Mapi and everyone else that she was a perfectly sufficient guardian to Isabel too. She had been there for so long but people still questioned it, questioned why she was so close with the little girl. 

It seemed so obvious to the Norwegian. She loved Mapi, she loved Isabel. Surely a further explanation was unnecessary. 

Mapi was entirely ridden with guilt, having left her phone in her hotel room as she reunited with her family. It was stupid, she knew, but she just hadn't been thinking. 

Ingrid's attempts to stop her from beating herself up about it were futile, especially since Isabel stopped trying to call, only speaking to Mapi when Ingrid held her and called the centre back before bed. 

She was scared, she didn't want to experience that rejection again. 

Match day came and so did Gudrun, only allowed into the hotel that morning so Ingrid could focus on the game. She was starting and the staff had told her no distractions, not until after the game was finished. 

Isabel loved Gudrun, the older Norwegian always spoiling and doting over the little girl with the bright eyes and big smile. It was unusual for Ingrid's mother to see Isabel so sad, so stoic when she arrived, malleable in Ingrid's arms as she was passed off. 

"She's homesick, Mama." Ingrid frowned and Gudrun could only stroke the top of her head. "She misses Mapi but won't call because there was an incident a few days ago where Mapi didn't pick up."

Gudrun smiled weakly, trying to silently reassure her daughter. 

"She'll be alright." She looked down at the child. "Have you had fun with Ingrid this week?"

Isabel looked over at the tall Norwegian who tried to hide the exhaustion from her face. It had been another restless night. 

She nodded easily, smiling. 

"Ingrid holds me when I can't sleep. And she let me use her as my climbing frame all week. So much fun with Ingrid."

Ingrid could have cried but she held it back, Gudrun smiling proudly at her daughter. 

"Ingrid is one of my favourite people in the world."

Isabel agreed easily. 

"Me too!" 

Gudrun hugged her daughter goodbye, letting Isabel place a kiss on her cheek before they left, heading out to the park for the few hours they had before the game. 

She played on the playground for a bit but retreated back to Gudrun when she couldn't communicate with the other children. All the people she had spoken to so far slowed down, aware that she was a Spanish child and Norwegian was her second or third language. 

The strangers on the playground didn't know that, so they couldn't communicate. 

And the Norwegian could easily read the situation as Isabel flopped onto the bench beside her, her sigh entirely too emotional for a four year old 

"What's bothering you, Isabel?"

She huffed again, climbing into Gudrun's lap and leaning backwards. 

"I miss Mami and Spain." She missed playing in the park with other kids, she missed being able to sit between Mapi and Ingrid after dinner, watching cartoons. She missed Patri and Pina teasing her and she missed Alexia and Frido's hugs. She missed the familiarity of home and she missed knowing all the players at training. She missed the freedom she had at the Barcelona campus and she missed her dog and cat. 

"I know you do. Mami and Spain miss you too."

But Isabel frowned, still stuck on the reason why her Mami didn't pick up the phone even though she tried so many times. 

"But-" She trailed off but Gudrun hummed encouragingly. "But Mami said she would pick up..."

Gudrun sighed quietly, hugging the child closer. 

"That doesn't mean she doesn't miss you, Isabel. She misses you so much."

"I haven't seen her in so long, I am scared she forgot."

"Forgot what?" Gudrun frowned easily, concerned about where her thoughts were. 

"Me." Isabel's voice was impossibly quiet as her eyes filled up with tears and Gudrun's heart broke at how small she sounded. 

She had a split second to decide how to deal with this. She could pass the problem onto Ingrid or Mapi, or she could deal with it herself and maybe help out the young couple. She could smile and tell Isabel that everything was perfect and happy and Mapi loved her or she could be more serious and try to get through to the child. 

So she sighed, adjusting Isabel on her lap so they were looking at each other. 

"I'm Ingrid's Mami, you know that right?"

Isabel nodded, staring up at the Norwegian. 

"And I live in Norway. Ingrid lives in Spain with you, doesn't she?"

The child nodded again, unsure where this was going. 

"Ingrid moved away when she was young, a long time ago. And I was so sad. So sad. I missed her every single day and my heart hurt because my little girl didn't feel like my little girl anymore. She had grown up."

"Mami said I would always be her little girl."

Isabel frowned, not able to draw any comparisons.

"And Ingrid is still mine. But like Ingrid did, you're growing up. This is your first time away from your Mami, and you are so far away from her for such a long time."

Isabel nodded. 

"I miss Mami a lot."

"Ingrid's first time away from home was when she was 11, a week in a place 4 hours away. I cried every night because I missed my little girl so much. And I know your Mami is the same. She is so sad without you, Is. You are so little and you are all she cares about. You are absolutely everything to your Mami and she misses every single thing about you."

Isabel's lip trembles, her eyes beginning to water. 

"And she missed your calls. She is so angry with herself because she didn't pick up because she would have much preferred to talk to you than to talk to anyone at that wedding. You are so important to her and you always will be. Just like Ingrid is so important to me."

Isabel nodded, taking a deep breath.

"You talk to Ingrid whenever she calls?"

Gudrun nodded easily. 

"And I get so excited because I love talking to her so much. But sometimes I miss calls too. Sometimes Ingrid gets upset and I am angry at myself. I love her so much and instead of picking up her calls I was busy with something that was nowhere near as important. Because nothing is as important to me as my children. Since they were born and until I die, they will always be first. And do you know why?"

"Because you love them." 

Gudrun nodded. 

"Because I love them." She confirmed with a nod. "And Mami missed your call, but she didn't mean to. I have missed Ingrid's calls before even though I love her so much."

"Mami loves me."

Gudrun smiled, pulling her in for a hug. 

"Yes, Mami loves you so so much. She misses how you feel in her arms, she misses the way you smell, she misses the way your eyes light up when you see something that excites you. She misses catching you when you run into her after school, she misses holding you after a game and watching you with her friends."

"How do you know all this."

"Because I am a Mami too. Mami's are all the same, we all love every single thing about our children."

Isabel nodded, silent for a moment before taking a deep breath. 

"Does Ingrid... does she love me like that too? Because I think I love her like I love Mami."

Gudrun squeezed her tighter, not a shadow of a doubt in her answer. There was no hesitation whatsoever.

"Of course she does."

Isabel was quiet again. Ingrid was Ingrid. She wasn't Mami, because that was Mapi. She wasn't Mama... because she was Ingrid.

But why was she just Ingrid? Why wasn't she Mama. She was like Mapi, really. She played a lot, cooked meals. Dropped her at school and picked her up sometimes too. 

She had rules for Isabel, things she could and could not do. When Isabel broke the rules, she would tell her off, just like Mapi would. She would give her consequences, although she was much better at sticking to them than Mapi. 

Isabel knew she didn't have a Papi like her friends at school. She had a Mami instead. 

And an Ingrid. 

"I think I love Ingrid like a Mami too."

~~~~~~

Apparently, Gudrun's words got through to Isabel, who insisted on calling her mother as soon as they were at the stadium. 

The Norwegian happily obliged, dialling her daughter's girlfriend and sighing in relief when the call immediately connected. It wasn't facetime, so Mapi couldn't see her daughter's beaming face, or the fact they were already sat in their seats in the family and friends section. 

"Gudrun?"

"Mami? Holaaa!"

The Spaniard's entire body relaxed right then and there, after what feels like months of worrying that her daughter hated her, that she would never forgive her. She had been so tense for the past few days, completely occupied by her anxieties. 

"My Is." Gudrun could hear the relief in her voice. "I miss you so much."

"I miss you too Mami." She frowned at the phone, looking up at Gudrun. "Where is she?"

The Norwegian frowned. 

"At home, Isabel, in Spain." 

But Isabel shook her head, pointing at the phone. 

"Her face?"

Mapi understood before Gudrun, quickly switching to a facetime call. 

"There she is!" Mapi beamed and her daughter returned the expression. "My little girl."

Isabel's smile grew and she leant back into Gudrun's embrace. 

"I'm your little girl." She sighed contentedly. "I love you Mami."

"I love you so much." She waited for Isabel to nod before continuing. "And I want you to know something, Is."

"What?"

"You are the most important thing in the whole entire world. You are my number one. Always."

Isabel just nodded casually. 

"I know."

Mapi was taken aback, surprised by her child's casual demeanour. She had expected to have to do some persuasion, based on the reports she was getting from Ingrid every night. The reports that had broken her heart over and over again, stomping on it and kicking it around.

"How do you- I mean, it's good you kno- it's true."

Isabel smiled happily at her mother's stuttering. 

"Gudrun told me that all Mami's are the same, and she loves Ingrid a whole lot. Ingrid is very important. It means that I matter most to you, like Ingrid matters most to her."

Mapi smiled gratefully at the camera, making a note to thank her girlfriend's mother profusely when she was off the phone call. 

"You are so right, my lion cub."

They stayed on the phone call throughout the whole game, Isabel flipping the camera as Ingrid walked out onto the field so Mapi could watch, her daughter's commentary right in the speaker as the game continued. 

She was still at the wedding, but had the afternoon in her room alone before the final ceremony that night as the game finished, she started to get ready, still on the facetime call as Gudrun lead Isabel down towards the field and as she was lifted over the barricade into Ingrid's arms. 

"It's Mami, Ingrid!"

The Norwegian was exhausted, sweaty and sore, but all she could feel was pure relief. 

Because Isabel was beaming, not a tear in sight. She was on the phone to Mapi which meant she had asked to call her because Ingrid told Gudrun to not bring it up - it had been a soft topic over the past couple of days. 

But there she was, her girlfriend all dressed up, hair and makeup done. 

It was the antithesis of Ingrid, really, her post match appearance a stark contrast to Mapi's pre dinner one. 

But both women felt nothing but happiness in that moment, relief washing over them as they realised everything was ok. Isabel was happy again, for now at least. 

They had four more days in Norway, the homesicknesses would surely make it's return at some point, but now she had Mapi to talk to whenever she wanted. Somehow her entire attitude had changed over the past few hours, apparently an easy switch that Ingrid just hadn't been able to find. 

But one look at her mother with a proud and satisfied smile settled upon her face told Ingrid everything she needed to know. 

So as Isabel scampered over to Caro, the phone still in her hand, Ingrid moved towards her mother, thanking her profusely as she hugged her tight. 

"I had no idea how much that little girl loves you, Ingrid."

Ingrid frowned. "What?"

She had told her so many times about the love she had for Isabel, the love that was so clearly reciprocated. 

"It's an exponential love, growing so quickly. She is a good girl, I am so proud of you."

Her frown changed quickly into a smile, her eyes filling up with tears. 

"Thank you, Mama."

She felt like Gudrun had no idea how much her daughter needed that affirmation, the encouragement that she was something to Isabel, someone important. 

But Gudrun knew. Of course she did. 

~~~~~~

Ingrid finally felt relaxed, the child dozing off slowly in her arms, finally relieved of all her sadness and stress. Her hands carded through the child's curly hair, whispering soft affirmations in her ears to send her to sleep. 

She was less restless that night, but still insistent on sleeping with Ingrid, her own bed so cold and empty on the other side of the room. 

But she was happy, finally, and for the first time since landing in Norway, Ingrid felt confident that she could do it. She could do it without Mapi, no matter how hard it was. She was more than just Mapi’s girlfriend, she was a real guardian of her child.

"Good night, Is. I love you so much."

Isabel hummed contentedly, snuggling closer into Ingrid's warm body. 

"I love you too, Mama."

The Norwegian could only freeze, her eyes filling up with happy tears, placing a kiss on the child's small head. 

Because Isabel hadn't been prompted at all. She meant it, she really saw Ingrid as her mother. 

And that meant the world to the Norwegian, who had spent so much time worrying that she would never be enough for the child, that she would always be an outsider within their little family, despite Mapi's intense efforts to try and reassure her that she was wrong. 

And maybe, just maybe, this was the start of Ingrid finally understanding that she really could be part of their little family.

Or even better, she would realise that she already was.

Ingrid: She called me Mama. I can't believe she called me Mama. 

Mapi: I can.  You are her Mama. She loves you so much.

~~~~~~ sorry this took so long and hope you enjoyed! 

tell me what you think!!

have a good day :)

[lovelywooz]

Kim Jungwoo - Study Abroad (M)

This is just downright filthy. Probably the smuttiest jungwoo smut on the tumblr app. Literally almost a YEAR in the making. The product of much thirst, and much fondness<3 I hope the 20 other people on here who are JungPs enjoy :,) Edit: Fixed spacing, added word count!

Word Count: 7.8k

Warnings: Smut, mature themes, language, choking, semi-public, praise/degradation, dirty talking, hair pulling, name calling, the whole nine yards basically

When you and Jungwoo signed up to go on a Study Abroad getaway, you didn’t know you’d be chaperoned. It seems like you’ll have to keep your paws off each other. It’s only a semester without it, how hard could that possibly be?

*******************************************************

Your back hits the door with a loud thud as you’re pushed up against it. In the tall boy’s flurry of hasty movements, you’re surprised you two even managed to get the door closed at all. Thank goodness you did though, otherwise the whole ‘welcome home’ party downstairs would’ve heard the feral sounds coming from you and Jungwoo. Any inhibitions you’d previously held about jumping each other’s bones the second you stepped off the plane were unceremoniously pushed to the side the moment the two of you locked eyes across Jaehyun’s living room.

Two months. It had been two months of subtly brushing up against each other at art museums, ducking behind some shrubbery to steal kisses, and desperate make-out sessions in the dormitory pool just before the curfew cutoff.

When you and Jungwoo realized you were going to be in the same group for your university’s study abroad program, you were over the moon. What could be more romantic than spending a whole Summer semester in Europe with the love of your life?

Well, what you two didn’t realize is that your hosting professors were not only strict but very old fashioned. Any students seen merely breathing suspiciously near each other were not-so-subtly separated by a guide “just passing through”. Under no circumstances were members of the opposite sex allowed to be together at the lodgings. So, needless to say it was a little hard for you and Jungwoo to get any alone time.

It wasn’t all bad! There were plenty of beautiful sights you saw together. Both of your camera rolls must have thousands of pictures and videos saved from these months alone. One of the guides even looked the other way so you could get a quick picture kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower.

But underneath the innocent smiles and gingerly clasped hands, you were just itching to get your hands on each other. Jungwoo has always had… a big appetite. Everyone knows his stomach is practically bottomless, but only you knew how much he craved… other things. You’ve grown used to it now but admittedly the beginning of your relationship left you both extremely surprised and extremely satisfied. You were a little flustered the first time he started begging you to let him eat you out… for the third time that evening. And you were even more embarrassed the very next day when he slipped a hand between your thighs on the couch, looking up at you with those deceptively pure-looking boba eyes. On a regular day he always had his arms wrapped around your waist or a hand gently resting above your knee.

He seemed unconcerned about the rule when you pointed it out on the sign up sheet, but slowly the lack of touch started to get to him. He’d stare at your lips while you’re talking, text you flirty little things during lectures, and leave you increasingly disheveled after your secret make-out sessions in the dorm pool. You could always feel how much he needed you rubbing up against your leg. Despite his ‘big problem’, he never went past making out. When things would get too intense, he’d always pull back and start helping you out of the pool so you didn’t miss curfew. You’d offered to help him out but he always blushed beet red and declined, saying something about ‘being too shy to do that in public’.

Not that he didn’t think about it. He probably spent more time thinking about doing dirty things to you than not! But in his mind, this is a matter of self-discipline. He’s a rule follower. A morally upstanding man. Beyond not getting in trouble, he had to prove to himself that he could last without needing to feel you. Although, even he started to notice how on edge he seemed to be at times. He was so beyond done with using his own hand to get off in the shower instead of yours. All he wanted was you. You certainly wanted him too, but there was nothing else you could do about it. Secretly though, you were kinda curious to see just how long he could go on like this.

You really notice him starting to lost his composure the third week of the trip. The guides took you to a small town in France to celebrate the conclusion of midterms with some delicious food and sultry evening atmosphere. After a few glasses of champagne, they were loose enough to stop counting how many students were behind them every five minutes. This is when Jungwoo chose to strike.

Absentmindedly staring at the sunset, your arm was suddenly yanked towards the opposite direction of the group. He was dragging you by your forearm so quickly all you could see ahead of you was your boyfriend’s ramrod straight back and the occasional glimpse of his exasperated expression. His eyes scanned over every inch of the architecture before him until he spotted a small opening in the side of an alleyway. It was dimly lit and vacant, every soul in the surrounding area seemingly went where your tour group was going. Perfect.

“Babe- Jung- wait-,” your words were drowned out by his mouth capturing yours, though they were only halfhearted hesitations anyways. His lean but firm arms boxed you against the wall of this enclave he’d dragged you into. His body was pressed flush against yours and you could feel his heart beating out of his chest. The stickiness of the humid night air made the exposed parts of his skin cling to yours in the hottest way imaginable.

Did you really want him to stop kissing you like his life depended on it? Absolutely not. But you were starting to get dizzy from the lack of oxygen, so you grabbed a fistful of his fluffy hair and pulled it backwards to get him at least a few inches away. He had the audacity to groan a little too loud in pleasure over the sensation. It reminded him too much of other things that made you yank his hair.

“Woo, you know we are in public what has gotten into you? If someone sees us or, or hears us, or…” You’re staring so hard at his swollen lips and flushed skin that it’s tough to concentrate on scolding him. Of course he knew to wear that black tank top, strategically exposing his strong arms. And his expensive watch you got him for Christmas that highlighted his incredibly attractive wrists and hands. And the chain necklace he bought at a pawn shop purely because you stopped breathing when he tried it on. With his chest exposed like that, all you want to do is rip that damn fabric off his body. …What were you saying again?

“I can’t take this anymore.” He leaned down to spatter kisses along the exposed skin of your neck and shoulders, “I want you so bad it’s killing me.” He relished in the small sounds he was drawing from your mouth. He hadn’t been able to hear them in so long (apart from in his dreams) that each one lit a small ember under his skin until it became a roaring bonfire. He stopped just in front of your right ear to whisper, “If I had it my way, we would have been back at the dorms having fun hours ago. Don’t think I haven’t felt your eyes all over me from afar the entire semester. Are you trying to make me lose my patience on purpose?”.

While it’s true that your lustful mind has been seeing even his Stussy t-shirts as lingerie, you never meant to do it on purpose. You are simply an observer in this little study of yours, waiting to see how long he can last before he gives in to his dirty thoughts. In hindsight, maybe you spoiled him too much and leaving him a little desperate could be just the push he’s been craving. He’s a bit of a freak in private, despite his shyness. Maybe he’s secretly enjoying being left high and dry. You were secretly enjoying watching his moral code start to dissolve.

Your vision is losing focus as his hand slides closer and closer to where you’ve been wanting it for weeks. His lower body is stuck firmly to your torso and you can feel just how much he’s been missing you through his jeans. His lips dive to capture yours again, and his tongue is in your mouth, and your hands are tangled in his hair, and you are mentally fully prepared to get your back blown out in a random French alleyway when you feel something buzzing in his pocket.

You both come back to reality when you realize his phone is ringing. He lets out the most frustrated sounding sigh you’ve ever heard, pouting against your lips before he pulls away. Your two sets of eyes catch the string of spit drawn between his lips and yours and he breathlessly laughs at this before reaching for his phone. The caller ID reads, “Mark Lee Bar”. Of course it would be fucking Mark that blue balls us, you think to yourself.

You feel like a pervert when the annoyed whine that comes from your boyfriend gives you goosebumps. “Hnnnnng this is so fucking, unfair- ridiculous-“ He thumps his finger on the answer button. “Lee Mark, if you are calling me for anything other than the French Royalty inviting our tour group to the castle, hang up. Right now”. Jungwoo leans his head down to rest on your shoulder in an effort to calm down. You take the opportunity to play with his hair a little bit. It provides you both the benefit of admiring the soft tendrils loosely falling through your finger, and the satisfaction of sending shivers up your lover’s spine.

“It’s not looking good man… the guides are sobering up and they’re deefffinitely looking for you. I can’t hear what they’re saying too much from our table but they keep like, asking for like, a tall guy with blonde hair and that’s gotta be you dude- one sec”.

You can faintly hear Mark attempting to order more drinks with his broken Toronto-French on the other end. Not wanting to waste this opportunity to get one over on your sexy guy, you ‘subtly’ shift your legs around until your thigh is right up against his dick through his pants.

As if it couldn’t get any worse for the two of you Jungwoo starts practically moaning into your neck, “Babe. Baby. Stop that- please fuck- oh my god”. Any attempts at authority from him are totally undermined by his desperately pitchy tone. Which, you knew would be filtering directly into the phone pressed against his cheek. You almost laughed out loud… almost.

“I’m sorry what was that dude? Look just get back here soon before they like, throw you in French jail or something. Although, you might wanna clean up a bit. I can tell I’m interupting some-“ you can hear his eyebrows raise, “passionate enrichment time?”.

Beep.

Saw that one coming. In Mark’s defense it must be kind of obvious considering you two seem to be the only students missing and Jungwoo was practically panting into the phone humping your leg a minute or two ago. Unfortunately, it was probably best for your future academic standing with the university that you two head back. Your lover hadn’t unglued his body from yours just yet despite having already hung up on his dear friend. “Jungwoo? We should probably go, I’m sorry baby I miss you so much too”. You rubbed some circles into his lower back and left a peck on his temple in an attempt to console him.

“God I need you so badly this is so not fair. I hate Europe, Europe is stupid”. His griping would be so hilarious if not for how legitimately dejected he seemed at the moment. After another minute of holding you in his arms he promptly stood up and readjusted himself as best he could to hide what the two of you had been doing since ‘accidentally’ losing the tour group. Once he was finished, he spun around to admire your beauty as you put yourself back together. No way was he gonna tell you your lips looked a little too swollen to be sunburnt. He had to let the world know you were his somehow.

“Let’s get going gorgeous”. The man-puppy hold his hand out for you to grab ahold of and leads you leisurely back to the intended tour destination. You remember making your excuse to a less-than-amused professor and hearing Jaehyun jeering your boyfriend from a distance.

But that experience pales in comparison to what happened in Berlin.

Fast forward about a month and a half. You and your cohort have seen Paris, Rome, Madrid, and Amsterdam. Each city was different and charming in it’s own unique way. Jungwoo and you had been on your very best behavior the rest of the trip, save for some risky texts sent to each other while locking eyes across lecture halls. Your professors in each of these cities continued to enforce their outdated stance on Co-Ed education, forcing even lecture halls to be “boys on one half and girls on the other”. But when your group arrived in the final city of your journey, Berlin, a new professor had joined the fray.

“Hello students, my name is Dr. Arno Hahn. I will be your professor for the remainder of your term abroad. I hope you will enjoy your time in my beloved city of Berlin. Sit with whomever you’d like, so long as you aren’t going to be noisy, and we’ll get started.”

Instantly a tall shadow appeared in the left corner of your vision and plopped down in the chai. Of course it was only Jungwoo, but you aren’t even sure how a human being could move so quickly? He set his textbook and bag down on the long wooden desk before you and lazily shot you a smolder, “Hey pretty thing, you come here often?”. You giggled at his corniness and his endearing dimple crested grin stretched across his face.

The class started soon after that. Notebook users scribbled down as many notes as they could, and many students could be seen rapidly typing away without even looking up from their laptops. About an hour passed by before you felt something creeping up your leg. When you shot a glance down you saw Jungwoo’s shoe touching your calf. Looking to the left, you gave your man a quick smile as if to say ‘you’re extremely cute trying to play footsie but I’m concentrating right now’, and you refocused on jotting down notes.

A minute passed, then once again you feel something touching you. This time it ghosted along the side of your thigh. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t give you a head rush, given how sex-deprived you were approaching the end of this trip. But this is in class, theres like fifty people in here. Sure you were seated towards the back of the hall, and nobody was behind you, but still! It’s about dignity. Or at least, that is what you were telling yourself.

You set down your pen and snaked your left hand down to gently pry Jungwoo’s off of your thigh. As your palm pressed against the top of his, he twisted his hand around in your grip until he had your fingers laced together. He squeezed ever so tight, teetering on the edge of painful, and made eye contact with you. He mouthed a silent, ‘Please, I want to make you feel good.” in your direction. His doe eyes, handsome face and extremely sexy forearms and hands definitely made it hard to say no. His pupils bore into yours as your considered his offer. He squeezed your hand again, and slowly moved his chair closer and closer to yours. Once he was within reach, he leaned over to whisper his pleas into your very flushed ear.

“My honey, just wanna help you hm? Wanna make you feel so good baby. I know how much you like my hands and I can give it to you right now, no more waiting, doesn’t that sound good? Know your pussy can’t go much longer without getting filled up by me, can you baby? This is my only offer until we’re back home. Take it or leave it.” He stamps his sultry proposal with a wet smooch to your ear before backing off. Every centimeter of skin that was touching yours vanished and, the little actor that he is, went right back to taking his notes as if nothing even happened.

Meanwhile, you are in a… state, to say the least. First of all: when did your sweet and gentle giant start having this ‘public sex’ streak? Secondly: why is the idea of having his long, boney fingers inside you during a lecture turning you on so much? Thirdly: how much longer is this stupid lecture going to be?

You’ve grown too hot to ignore his request. And you trust him with anything. So you grab his hand and place it back on your legs, this time far closer to where you actually want it. You make eye contact with Jungwoo again. You give a tiny nod to confirm that you want him, no, need him to deliver on his promise. His eyes swirl with an unimaginable sense of lust as a shit eating grin spreads along his face.

He gestures with his free hand for you to face forward and keep writing. You obediently pick up your pen and make your best attempt to copy whatever is on the board. Dr. Hahn is saying something, about… something. But all you can hear is the blood rushing through your ears and surely spreading to your cheeks.

You are so glad you wore your sundress today (most definitely what caused your lover to be so antsy) because it provides easy access for two cold fingers to gently brush over your still clothed slit. The long wait makes the sensation so intense you nearly cried out from relief. He rubs circles on your sensitive clit for a while, then ghosts his fingers down your folds, and back up to your clit again. He does this repeatedly in some kind of ritual to drive you genuinely mad with lust. Your left hand, which been wrapped around his wrist, starts to sink its nails into his skin.

Eventually he stops and wraps his digits around the positively ruined fabric of your panties, making you think he’s gonna move it to the side and finally scratch the itch to have some part of him inside you. Boy were you wrong. Instead, he pulls the fabric upward teasing pressure directly onto your sensitive bud. Your bottom lip is slightly bleeding from how hard you’re biting down in an effort to stay quiet. You cannot believe you let your boyfriend mind-melt you into letting him touch you in such a public place, considering both of you are aware of how bad you are at keeping quiet even in the privacy of your own room.

A demon of lust must have possessed your beloved in that moment. Because he takes the opportunity to lean over and whisper filth into your ear again. “You’re so fucking wet for me I bet Dr. Hahn can hear you all the way down there baby. You want my fingers in your pretty pussy hm? Do you? Answer me.”

The best you can manage is a very small and hopefully inconspicuous nod while the professor is looking at the board. Jungwoo seems to understand this. “You do? Well then, beg me.” You swallow heavily. You are definitely sweating, it has got to be at least 20 more degrees in this classroom than it was before. Where did he learn to talk like this?

“Did you not hear me? I said, beg. Out loud. Do it. Or I swear I will get up and leave you like this right now, probably dripping all over the chair like a whor-“

“Okay! I think after an hour and a half, a break is in order. Everyone get up and go get a drink and something to snack on. We will reconvene in 15 minutes.” Dr. Hahn announces before leaving, presumably to get his own refreshments.

The entire class gets up and slowly files out, chatting amongst themselves. After a few minutes of very tense waiting, you both breathe a sigh of relief when you’re the only ones left in the hall. Nobody spared a glance under your table. As bold as your partner is being now, he is still very shy at the idea of actually getting caught.

You swallow thickly and glance over at Jungwoo only to discover he was already looking your way with a fond grin. He slinked his hand away from you under the table causing you to let out a small whimper at the loss of his warmth. His other hand cups your cheek, softy caressing it before he leans in to steal a kiss off your lips. The kiss itself was very romantic compared to what had just occurred, you knew he was trying to make sure you understood he didn’t mean what he said. Even after all this time his sweetness still makes your heart do backflips.

When he breaks away he giggles cutely and starts packing up his things. You stare at him in confusion, “Babe we still have 30 minutes of class left after this break”. He doesn’t acknowledge your question, instead double checking that the few notes he had typed were saved to his laptop before shutting it off and sliding it into his bag.

Then he started getting on the floor.

You couldn’t be more perplexed with your lover’s behavior when that vile little smirk reappears before you. He shuffles a little bit until he has somehow fit his entire tall body underneath the desk. Wait… he’s not thinking…

“Kim Jungwoo. We’re gonna get caught if you do this.”

He hits his head on the roof of the desk and hisses in pain. “We won’t get caught, so long as you can just be quiet for once. You can’t see anything from the front”. Unfortunately he was right. The thick wooden tabletop folded over the front, forming a wall. It was made this way to prevent professors from accidentally looking up people’s skirts. Considering how you’re using it right now, it’s a pretty genius invention.

At this point Jungwoo was fully under the tabletop and seated between your legs. He started rubbing his cheek against your thigh, not unlike a dog would, in an attempt to convince you join his evil scheme. “Just want a little taste that’s all my honey” he cooed in a sickly sweet voice, jutting out his lower lip. Fuck. He learns far too quick how to push your buttons. He starts murmuring between kisses to your exposed skin. “Please? Pretty please? You can finally cum after all this time won’t that be so nice? Know my mouth can make you feel so good, just love you so much”. A knot you didn’t know was forming in your stomach began to tighten. This was so risky. You needed him so bad after getting cockblocked in four different cities, but the prospect of losing your academic and social dignity still weighed heavily on the your mind.

While you deliberate, Jungwoo crawls his hand up your leg to grab hold of yours. He drags your fingers down your lower body and plants it on his head. “I’ll let you play with my hair how does that sound?”. Meeting his eyes you can see the swirling darkness from earlier has returned, beckoning you to dive in. That little minx. His duality makes your head spin. One moment he’s swinging arms with you like a child as you wander the street of Germany, the next he’s convincing you to let him eat your pussy in a room full of people. You’d be lying if you said you wanted him to back away. You wanted to do this, needed him so badly. Fuck dignity. “Okay Ju-Jungwoo okay just, be quick about it.” The way he wiggled with glee should be downright criminal.

“Don’t worry baby, I know you won’t last long”. He wasted no time pulling your panties down to your ankles. He left small pecks all the way up your thigh. When he met your core, which was still leaking from earlier, you felt him practically purr in delight. As he kissed your clit, you heard the large classroom door swing open. A couple students had returned from the break and were still chatting away about their plans for the evening. You thought Jungwoo had chickened out since he froze for a moment but he soon went back to work. Running his tongue through your folds, following the same route his fingers had. Large hands moved down to hold your legs apart. You remembered yours was still enmeshed in his hair. Feeling bold, you gave it a good tug. Your partner hummed quietly against your clit sending shockwaves down your spine and your nerves into overdrive. Quickly you swung your head to the left to see if the other group of students had heard, but they were still just talking it up.

More students began to filter back in as Jungwoo lathed the pad of his tongue heavily up and down over your most sensitive area. Your grip on his hair tightened but you didn’t dare pull it again. You’ll have to remember to poke fun at him later. Jungwoo yanked you forward by your legs to get a better angle for his meal. Slowly he pushed his tongue inside as Dr. Hahn and the rest of the class returned. It took everything in you to be quiet but your grip on your boyfriend’s puppy-soft strands helped to ground you a bit.

“For this remaining half hour, there is a Ted-talk I would like to show you that may help you better understand the subject. It is about 20 minutes long and you may ask questions with the last 10 minutes of our time today.” The lights in the hall were dimmed, and the projector turned on. In a matter of moments the ‘Ted-Ed’ screen appeared at a moderately high volume. The perfect cover.

Jungwoo seemed to have this realization too, because he slipped his tongue out of you to push two of his fingers in. You couldn’t help but let out a hum at the stretch and hastily covered it up by clearing your throat. You faintly hear your boyfriend chuckle underneath you at your oh-so clever coverup. The pace his fingers set is unbearable. Thrusting in an out quickly like a well oiled machine. You start squirming in your seat, unable to handle the pleasure without moving. Jungwoo reprimands this by sinking his teeth into the soft skin of your thigh, a nonverbal way to say ‘Stop running away from me’.

You have no idea how nobody else in the room is hearing the way your pussy squelches with each thrust of his long, veiny fingers. Just picturing the image of what it must look like is enough to put you close to the edge. There’s just something about Jungwoo’s hands that drives you insane. The way he delicately manicures them, wraps them around his phone, draws circles with them on your back. Even the most mundane tasks he performs with his hands can set you ablaze. He will never let you live the ‘finger painting incident’ down.

You’re so lost in your dirty mind you hardly notice that he’s added a third finger, dragging you up to the threshold of your impending climax. He begins littering hot kisses along your legs again and you’re practically panting, yanking on his hair hard enough to send the message loud and clear that you’re close. He responds by latching his lips back onto your clit and sucking like his life depends on it. You feel his large front teeth bite down on your sensitive bud and suddenly you’re cumming so hard your vision is white. Somewhere in between la la land and the real world you get a hint of a metallic taste on your tongue. Presumably where you’ve split your lip open trying to be quiet. You start coming down to the feeling of Jungwoo’s hands gently caressing your thighs, massaging the tense muscles and leaving chaste pecks on any places he might’ve bit too hard. His touch conveyed the ‘Was so good, I love you so much”, that he usually blabbers out after a sex session.

Suddenly, the lights are flipped back on and through nearly closed eyes you see the projector screen being rolled up. “Alright, well I hope you feel a little bit better about what we learned today. I know everyone wants to get out of here and site see so if you have any questions please reach out to me via email or come early to our next class. Dismissed!”. You don’t have to wait very long for everyone else to leave though you had to stall with your bag a bit to convince the professor you weren’t lingering to ask a question.

When Jungwoo emerged from under the table his hair was sticking up in all directions and his face was covered inch-to-inch in blush. He was so red you thought he might pass out. You never want him to be too embarrassed, but sometimes when he does get shy he’s just too cute to handle. Despite being a little freaky during the act, he always hides his face in your neck after you get intimate back home. You can only imagine the level of sheepishness he is experiencing now. You laughed when he avoided eye contact with you and stood up to smooth his hair back down a bit and pull your probably ruined underwear back up under your dress. “You are so precious sometimes you know that?”.

A bashful smile and laugh took the place of his flustered pout. He stole one more quick kiss from you and laced your fingers together. “Don’t make me more embarrassed!” he complained while checking his phone. “Did you wanna go get ice cream from that place we passed on the way here? Jaehyun said he and Mark are already there since their class ended really early”. You nodded and let your handsome man lead the way.

This brings you back to the present day. Pushed up against the door of Jungwoo’s bedroom he’s renting in Jaehyun’s house. Suffocating under his relentless lips. He finally breaks away to hiss, “God it’s been so long, missed you, need to be inside you, wanted it every night”. Your shirt is pulled over your head and thrown across the room. The clasp of your bra is undone before you can even blink. The warmth of his mouth on your chest feels so good after so long. You could’ve cried if not for your animalistic need to have your boyfriend inside of you as soon as possible.

“Jungwoo please. Just want you in me. Need you to cum inside please, please”. You are beyond desperate at this point. That dark look in Jungwoo’s eyes is back again, “Yeah? Want me to fill you up? Can’t think without me being inside you can you? Pretty baby is such a slut just for me”. Your pants were unfastened and thrown as well, presumably landing in the same heap the rest of your clothes had been piled up in. He pressed his body against yours again, his mouth finding yours out of instinct. This time you were the one to end the kiss, putting a finger on Jungwoo’s lips when he tried to chase you down again.

“Its not fair that I’m the only one without clothes Woo. Let me help you out of yours”. You slide your cold palms underneath the bottom hem of his Stussy t-shirt. Massaging his abs and dragging your fingernails up his torso to tease him. A low pitched mix between a growl and a whimper emits from him. As your fingertips swirl around his nipples causing his breathing to get shallow, you get a dastardly idea. After tearing his shirt over his head, you sink down to your knees. Eye-to-eye with his swollen bulge in his pants. “You look so tense here too Woo. Poor boy. Don’t worry I’ll help you”.

Before he can say a word you’ve taken his cock out of his pants. He was so worried the very first time you’d sucked him off, “It’s a little big so just be careful don’t hurt yourself”. By now you knew just how much you could take of your boyfriend’s ‘gifted asset’ and he wasn’t afraid to let you have it. Gathering up some spit in your mouth you let it dribble onto his cock before engulfing the head. It almost sounded like Jungwoo was in pain he was groaning and huffing so loudly. You recalled that just outside this door was a huge ‘Welcome Home’ party full of fellow students that could probably hear him over the thumping bass if they stood close enough. Payback for Berlin.

As you sank farther down his length, swirling your tongue along the sides, Jungwoo’s sounds had turned to incoherent mumbling. “Mmhnm love you soomuch you’re so sogood. So hot fuck so hot. Wanna be in you wanna feel you. I can’t- fuck- can’t cum yet don’t wanna cum now”. He was practically fucking your mouth he was squirming so much. After another few minutes of your hot mouth torturing his length he laced his fingers in your hair to yank you off. “Gotta save it for inside you baby just like you wanted”.

You stand up and he starts shoving you in the direction of his bed until you both fall backwards so he can clamber on top of you. He must have stepped out of his sweatpants on the way over because his cock was standing proudly in his right hand as he towered over you to pin your wrists down with his left. He dragged his dick against your folds, covering it in the flood of slick that was already waiting for him. Every sense in your body was laser-focused on him. “You want my cock huh? Ready for me to finally fuck you open?” You almost gave yourself whiplash with how enthusiastically you nodded you head. “Oh no baby. That’s not how we ask” he chuckled cruelly, “Beg me”. All the hairs on your body stood upright. “Beg me like the good whore you are. Letting me push you up against a wall wherever I please, letting me eat you out and feel you up in front of so many people. You have no pride left to cling to. So don’t pretend to be fucking shy. If you want it so bad, beg.”

Where this sadistic demon came from, you do not know. But one thing is for sure, your mind is dangerously blank and you’re wetter than you think you’ve ever been in your life. Very aware of how red your face is, you attempt to quietly bargain with him. “Jungwoo I can’t its too-” “Don’t bullshit me. If you can speak then you can ask me nicely”. It seems like you’ve got no choice.

You swallow your pride as far down as you can bear and whimper, “Please fuck me”.

“What was that? I didn’t hear anything.” Oh my god you were gonna kill him after this was over.

Louder this time you utter, “Please fuck me Jungwoo I’ve waited long enough.”

“Hmm.” He seems to consider your response for a moment. “You can do better than that. Not nearly desperate enough.”

“Oh my fucking god please fuck me. Please. Need you to make me yours. Fuck me so good the way only you can. I’ll be your slut I’ll do whatever you ask just please fill me up”. You’re sure someone outside had to have heard all that but you couldn’t care less when Jungwoo shoves himself inside you at long last. The stretch hurts a bit but the relief you feel draws a loud moan from your chest. “Yes fuck please”. You lock lips again in a messy and desperate attempt to be as close as physically possible. A string of spit rolls down your cheek but you’re both so far gone there’s no way to determine who’s it is.

Slowly he pulls out and shallowly thrusts back in. Sex with Jungwoo isn’t normally fast or rushed, he’s the type to want to take his time and be in your warmth as long as he can stand it. But his strokes make your toes curl every time. They brush just over your sensitive spot and glide across your walls in the most perfectly satisfying way. He slowly starts to find a pace, thrusting in and out in a steady rhythm. The noises coming from your pussy are pornographic. The wet sounds are so loud that anyone would know exactly what you were up to. You would be a little embarrassed if not for the way Jungwoo was eating it up.

“Oh my god you’re so fucking soaked I’m gonna have to get new sheets” There are some who say laughing isn’t sexy, but the dark chuckle that comes from Jungwoo after that statement is downright nasty. “Fuck- you missed me huh baby?” you think you nod in response but you’re so concentrated on the pleasure that you’re honestly not sure. The skin-on-skin contact feels so amazing after so long. You’re hypersensitive to the places where the two of your bodies are stuck together, it makes your nerves set on fire and the knot in your stomach pull tighter. The way Jungwoo’s tall figure has to arch slightly to be above you. Giving you the perfect view of his toned stomach and arms. It’s like he’s everywhere. The thought of wanting him to engulf you in his entire being makes you feel so insane, but it’s so hot.

“I missed you too, missed the way you wrap around me, the way you sound, how good you smell,” he keeps talking in that condescending tone you like but you can hear the whimpering start to creep in like it does when he’s close, “Couldn’t stop thinking about having you, almost came in my pants in that alleyway when you pulled my hair,” the pace of his thrusts gets faster and sloppier, “You were so good for me when I ate you out in the lecture hall, so fucking hot. It’s like you’d do any filthy thing I asked just to get a piece of me.” He lets go of your wrists to slide his hand gently over your neck, he applies no pressure but the mere weight of his long, perfect fingers on your windpipe sends goosebumps trailing up your body. “Maybe I should hold out on you more often hm? If it makes you lose your mind this much.” He gives your neck a gentle squeeze and you quite nearly finish on the spot. “You close baby? Does my pretty slut wanna cum?” You answer in the form of a choked out groan. Hoping desperately that that would be enough for him.

Of course you really should know better than that.

You could cry when he suddenly slows down to almost nothing, shallowly sliding in and out at a snails pace. He leans down to whisper in your ear, “What did I fucking say earlier. Use your words or I’ll pull out and make you watch me finish in my hands.” You try to string together any coherent thoughts you have left. You come up with nothing but a jumbled mess of “Cum please”, “Please Jungwoo”, “Need it”. The way he laughs in your face as you desperately plead with him to let you cum is sinful. There’s a delicious duality at play between his calm and sweet tone and sadistic actions that drives you crazy. Your cries seem to have been good enough for him though, as he resumes his punishing rhythm a minute after. His breathing is ragged and the sounds of the party outside are completely drowned out by the squelching of your lower bodies. “Mmhmn fuck- baby you want it inside? Want me to fill you up? Make you all mine? Stuff you so full of my cum that Jaehyun and Mark can see it leak out tomorrow?”.

“Yes please, yes please fill me up, wanna be yours all yours” Your mind is going blank, you’re right up against the cliff. With your free hands you reach up to grab his hair, claw his back, anything to ground yourself for the impending fall.

“Cum for me baby cum all over me. I’ll fill you up just like you want.” With his permission, you’re shoved unceremoniously right off the edge. You can hardly see or breathe, all you can think about is how warm he feels, how good it feels, how much you love him. Jungwoo follows right after you, fucking you through your climax right into his own. When you come back down to Earth, his entire body is draped over your chest. Slightly crushing you, but you couldn’t care less. The primal need to have your lover’s skin and sweat on yours makes any discomfort insignificant. He’s panting so hard you fear he may pass out while still inside you.

“Baby? Woo? You okay?” You reach up to comb your fingers through his hair and rub circles on his back. He can be so rough with you, but he’s still your giant puppy when the deed is done. What came next was a surprise.

Jungwoo starts moving again.

“Ju- jung- babe what are you-“ Somehow he lifts himself back up enough to silence you with a sloppy kiss. The over sensitivity is sickly sweet. And the way his cum gets fucked out and leaks down your ass adds to the pleasure.

“Fuck- wanna be in you forever. Wanna lock you up here so I can have you all the time.” He sounds so desperate it’s killing you. His voice is almost on the verge of tears, as if not being inside you would be the most unimaginable tragedy to him. His reaches a hand down to swirl two fingers over your clit. You let out a borderline scream from the over stimulation. “One more for me? Please baby give me one more I know you can. Just one more for me my pretty. Wanna feel you cream my dick one more time”.

Well. Who could possibly say no when he asks like that?

You can hear footsteps just outside the door and you can feel your lust increase at the thought of being caught, much to your surprise. Jungwoo slams a hand over your mouth in an attempt to muffle your rather loud sounds. But it only serves to make you moan even louder when his perfect fingers are in such close proximity to your mouth. He swirls the fingers on your clit as fast as he possibly can and leans down to breathe in your ear again,“Give it to me honey, cum for me. Wanna make you feel so good, just let go on me baby”. The pressure in your body is akin to a pipe bursting. The intensity of the first orgasm is almost doubled by the second. You feel like you cum for hours, Jungwoo rubbing your clit and fucking his seed up into you all the way through it. He’s so perfect. He treats you so well. Makes you feel amazing.

This time when you come to, it’s to the sensation of a wet washcloth rubbing down your lower body. Jungwoo is no longer inside you and is doing his best to clean up the mess he’s made of his lover. His top half is still bare but he does have his sweatpants back on. When he sees that your eyes seem to have consciousness behind them, he has that award winning bashful grin on his face. He gives you a kiss on the forehead, nose, and lips before leaning down to flop on the bed next to you. He buries his face in the side of your next and breathes deeply in before slowly exhaling. You can feel the red flush on his face against your cooling skin. It makes you giggle sweetly, the way he gets so shy after things like this. It partly why you find yourself so endeared by him though. You give him a small kiss on his scalp. “Are you all finished big boy or are you gonna surprise attack me again?” You cheekily poke his back side while he laughs.

“I’m sorry! I just, didn’t want to be done with you yet”.

“It felt good though”.

“You’re not fibbing?”.

“No puppy it was really good!”.

“Please don’t call me ‘puppy’ right after I sexxed your brains out”. He earns himself a smack on the ass for that one. “Hey! It’s true isn’t it?”

“Yes but don’t used the word ‘sexxed’ please. What are you twelve?”. Your playful banter post-orgasm is one of your favorite moments with Jungwoo. Although, any minute you get to spend with him is probably your favorite.

“I was scary wasn’t I? You seemed to like it a lot.” His boba eyes start to peek at you as he lifts his head a bit from the crook of your neck. The shyness is starting to wear off making way for his usual silliness.

“You were SO scary baby, very scary”. Your sarcasm makes him pout a bit. Then he sits up, furrows his brows, and starts attacking your stomach with tickles. Your innocent laughter rings out like a chiming bell and it makes Jungwoo fall for you even more than he already has somehow. “Okay okay! You were sexy it was hot. It was very manly.”

Satisfied with your answer, he ends his tickle assault and gives you a cartoonish smolder. “Tsch- I knew it. I’m just too hot and sexy for you to resist”.

You sit up as well and step out of the bed as best you can with wobbly legs. “Come on ‘Hot and Sexy’ lets rinse off before we have to go face the judgement of ‘Dumb and Dumber’ downstairs”.

“Wait!”

You turn towards him in confusion. He grabs both your cheeks and plants a very sweet kiss on your lips one last time. “Okay. Now I’m satisfied”. His fluffy hair is all in his eyes, which are beaming with love-light. His still rosey cheeks are the perfect picture of beauty.

What are you gonna do with him.

[cleoselene]

had a meeting with my neurologist today, the 3 month long talk meeting we have, and lmao. he just got back from vacation in Italy and I was like, "did you have a nice trip?" and he was like "ehhhhhh! I was on a plane for 23 hours to look at some old church! I would have rather stayed home with my dog." and I was like looool. I feel this. Then he started saying how it was depressing to look at the old medieval church shit, saying "some guy 500 years ago spent his whole life making this one part of the church. and that was his WHOLE LIFE!" and I was all "well... I suppose it's better than toiling in the fields for your lord?"

I think he really enjoys my visits because we spend most of it having bullshit conversation. the nurses have told me that they enjoy younger patients like me because a lot of the older patients have bad dementia and can't really hold a conversation. after Italy bashing, we had a discussion about the Great Depression Midwestern Casseroles we were raised on in our childhoods. His mom was a cream of chicken soup lady, though, whereas my household was always on the cream of mushroom side. Horrible fucking food, lol. Just the worst.

anyway, another reason I love him is because he is EQUALLY as over the bullshit the state of Florida makes us go through to secure my 120 pain pills every month. He HATES that he can't put in refills anymore, lol, and today I asked him to refill it like I do every month, and CVS sent me a text later in the day saying I needed to contact them because the prescription was "on hold." And I'm like bzuh? and then I notice my doc submitted the script three times when I went online, and called and hahaha. He submitted three SEPARATE scripts for the next three months to get around the "no refills" thing and this is something that CVS is very 50/50 about handling lol. In the past they have let him do it but they have also been like "lol NO" when he's tried it before too. Tonight the pharmacist got utterly confused by it and did not understand what the doctor was doing and said that insurance tried to process it three times, which lol. All because he doesn't feel like having to send an electronic script every month. I FEEL U, DOC. THE HOOPS THEY PUT SICK PEOPLE THROUGH TO GET MEDS ARE SO FUCKED.

but like, bless him? he NEVER gives me shit about maintaining my script, never tells me maybe I should wean myself off, never whines about the state putting pressure on him. He just fills it and lets me have what I need. I hate hate hate Florida but I am seriously worried that when I move my next neurologist will not be as totally awesome as mine. It wasn't like I got lucky with him, either, I cycled through three other neurologists (none of whom were MS specialists and weren't even capable of properly diagnosing me let alone treating me) before I found my guy! And he's just about the sweetest person you could meet and brings his aforementioned dog he'd rather hang out with than visit the Vatican to work with him sometimes. The good news is he networks like crazy and probably will be able to refer me to someone great. His referrals are always awesome, too. He does a lot of travel and speaking at conferences because he's a clinical researcher so he knows people, and I'm hoping he'll know the right person to refer me to when the time comes to escape this hellscape state

[mysteryandnonstopfun]

SWANFIRE APPRECIATION WEEK 2021 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･✧ﾟﾟ

🦢🔥 Day Six: Actors AU or Social Media AU // “I haven't ever really found a place that I call home, I never stick around quite long enough to make it” 

Emma Swan and Neal Cassidy have one of the most sweetest relationships in Hollywood. The kind that actually make you believe in true love. They even share the same birth year and might even seem fated for each other, having crossed paths in the past more than once even before The Thief Who Stole My Heart. The pair constantly made headlines for all the right reasons, given that they’re not only insanely talented, but also incredibly smitten with one another. 

Here’s everything you need to know about the adorable pair! 

Eleven years ago, Emma made a cameo in Neal Cassidy’s hit show, Neverland. She appeared in the last episode. However, they did not meet on set. 

They finally met in 2008 on The Ellen DeGeneres Show where both were promoting their own shows. Neal explained what ran through his mind when they first met. “I met her and I was so nervous. I was like “Oh god, I think I’m going to fall in love with her”.

In 2009, both attended the Golden Globes Awards, where they sat next to each other and were both awarded on their own category, they even shared a few moments on stage, the pair walking together felt like a foreshadowing of flames to come. Years later Emma said that her reaction wasn’t all that different “At some point we were alone at the backstage and that was it. He just stood there and made me laugh. I kind of knew right away”. 

Neal Cassidy and Emma Swan were confirmed to star in the movie, Once Upon a Time in 2011, the first time they would officially work together! The reports also revealed that Neal decided to work on the film because Emma was going to do it! Once Upon a Time became known for Emma and Neal’s on-screen chemistry despite the plot calling for them to relate to each other through a monitor. Fans wished for a project that would allow them to film more scenes together in real life.     

The movie premiered in September 2012 with a good reception. The movie surpassed all expectations and the couple shared on social media their celebrations. Dating rumors began soon after Once Upon a Time as the couple spent a lot of time together at promotional events. Around this time, Emma posted a lot of photos with her co-star on Instagram. 

In March 2013 (Neal’s birthday month) an online post about the couple surfaced claiming that Emma and Neal had been seen traveling together in New York, and even dinned together with Emma’s parents. A photo of the couple grocery shopping together also circulated online. However, the rumors were denied, with claims that it was mere coincidence for the two to be in the same place, that both were just really good friends.

A few months later they showed up for the first time in public after the rumors. When they were chosen to be ambassadors of the same brand!     

In 2014, fans rejoiced as Neal and Emma were confirmed for a new project together: The Thief Who Stole My Heart. The series premiered worldwide in December 2015 and instantly became a massive hit. The couple’s romantic plot line stirred dating rumors again. The show’s finale with Emma and Neal looking like a happily married couple, was too good for viewers not to wish it was true.   

Following the release of The Thief Who Stole My Heart, both won Best Lead Actor and Actress in a Drama/Comedy Series at the Emmy Awards. Ss the show kept winning all sort of awards. On New Year’s Day of 2017 a popular magazine claimed that Neal and Emma have been dating for about eight months. The couple confirmed the news with a sweet post on their social media’s accounts. 

Emma Swan and Neal Cassidy were engaged less than a year after they confirmed their relationship, with Neal proposing in Tallahassee. “She did cry after I cried and we cried and everyone around us was crying” Neal told Access Hollywood of the exact moment he proposed to her “at the end of the day, she said yes, which is great. It’s a big part of the whole thing” 

In 2018, Neal and Emma tied the knot in a very private ceremony on the beach. 

Nearly three years into her marriage with Neal, Emma opened up about their relationship on the cover of Elle “Meeting Neal really changed my life, when I feel his support, I feel invincible. There’s someone behind you on your good days and in front of you on your bad days”. 

The pair became parents on August 2020, welcoming their son Henry into the world. Neal choose Twitter to excitedly share the news. 

The couple appeared again after two years to attend the SAG awards, where both were nominated for their respective project. That night was important since Emma was nominated for the first time as a Director.   

Last year Neal confirmed that he and Emma would be working together again. On a project that he wrote and Swan will direct. Unsurprisingly, the internet went wild for it. We can’t wait to watch their new movie.  

[harryhandstan]

so..I hate that this is so late but happy to finally have this done and be posting it for y’all! hope you enjoy! thank you to my betas @tbslenthusiast, @serendipitystyles, and @summertimestyles​ you’re all angels!! also sham was so kind to help me create a playlist for this fic which you can find here!

this is for @taintedwonder​‘s Styles Valentine’s Day fic challenge and most of the photos from the header were my inspo along with prompts 3. Can you just hold my hand? and 6. Let’s run away together.

as always any likes, rbs, replies, and feedback is welcome and very much appreciated!

word count: 4.1k

writing tag | masterlist

You can read his face before he even opens his mouth to speak.

“You have to leave again, don’t you?”

He doesn’t answer at first, just joins you where you sit on the bed, an arm around your waist to urge you closer to him. He presses a kiss to your shoulder, as if that will soothe the sting of what he’s about to say. He buries his face into your neck before he speaks.

“Only for a little while, angel.”

You don’t respond by returning the kiss like you normally would, narrowing your eyes down to where he’s hiding his face, “How long is a ‘little while’?” 

“You could always come with me, y’know..” 

He’s avoiding the answer and he knows it, eyes darting up only briefly to look at your face. 

“How long, Harry?”

He’s fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt now, focusing on the loose thread hanging instead.

You nudge him lightly, pulling his attention back up to you, “Just say it! How long?”

He sucks in a big breath before releasing it and then the words come out in a rush, “A few weeks, possibly a month.”

You have to take your own deep breath before asking, “When do you have to leave?”

“Promise you won’t be mad?”

“Promise.”

“My flight’s on the 14th.”

“February 14th? As in we don’t get to spend Valentine’s Day together?”

“M’so sorry, love, I really thought we were gonna get to spend the day together.” 

He’s pulled back from where he was hiding his face, studying yours now. It hurts him to see the disappointment written there; the pinch in your brow, the downturned corners of your mouth, the way your eyes have temporarily lost their shine and fallen misty.

“Ya really could come with me, y’know. Take a bit of time off, would do you some good to take a break.”

He knows better, knows it’s just a fantasy that you would ever be able to get that much time off from work to be able to travel with him.

“C’mon, love, let’s run away together.”

The way he’s looking at you know, it really wouldn’t take much more convincing to turn his fantasy into a reality.

“What am I gonna do when I’m cold and don’t have you as my personal heater to help me get warm?”

“S’why I left you my pillow to snuggle with. There’s a ton of extra blankets too, use as many of those as ya need.”

How could you explain that no amount of warmth from any blanket would ever compare to his? A blanket wasn’t capable of softly brushing your hair back from your face or tenderly pressing it’s lips to yours as you drift off to sleep. You open your mouth to try to illustrate such facts, but you close your mouth just as quick. You aren’t trying to be difficult or clingy, and you don’t want your last bit of time together to be filled with your complaints.

That thought only lasts for a moment, your anxiety building with each mile closer to the airport, “Well what do I do when your pillow doesn’t smell like you anymore?”

“I’ll try to be back before that happens, deal? Besides, you’ve got a whole drawer of my t-shirts to sleep in too. They all smell like me, right?”

“They do, but, Harry..what if..”

“Shh, hey, we’ve been through this before, right? S’gonna be hard for me to be away from you too, but I promise we’ll be alright. You can call me anytime you’re missin’ me, remember?”

His voice is that of someone trying to pacify a small child just before a tantrum, and you feel as though you’re being whiny and unreasonable. Missing him when he was away was almost unbearable though; everything seemed heavy and dimmer and you know it would feel like an eternity before you were together again. 

“Promise we’ll make up today the second I come home. You plan the whole day and just tell me when and where to show up, okay?’

The fact that it was Valentine’s Day didn’t matter so much to you. You and Harry made it a point throughout your days spent together to express your love to one another whenever you could, so today was really just..another day to spend together. So it’s missing him that has tears forming in your eyes again, just as they had the night before.

“Can you just hold my hand? Until..” You don’t finish the sentence, letting your voice trail off so he won’t hear it break.

“‘Course I can, baby.” He offers his hand, never taking his eyes off the road even as he lifts your hand to his mouth to place a kiss to the back of it.

Though you know he would never admit to it, you swear you feel the speed of the car slow just the tiniest bit, Harry wanting to add as much to your limited time together as he can.

Despite it still being light outside, coming home to the space you normally share together alone makes you want to do nothing but crawl right back in bed. It’s mid-afternoon and with Harry not home to motivate you to do something more productive, that’s exactly what you aim to do.

After dropping your purse and keys near the door and double checking the locks, you’re startled by the sight of a bouquet of bright pink roses adorning your dining room table. They definitely weren’t there when you left, and you pluck the small card nestled between the flowers with your name scrawled across the front. It’s Harry’s almost illegible handwriting and the sight of it makes your heart soar with excitement before you flip it open to read the message. 

It’s simple and small, more of his writing scratched across the cream colored paper in bold, black ink. Love, love, love, H. There’s a badly drawn heart underneath the note, and that makes you giggle out loud, filling the silence. If Harry were here, he’d have some cheeky comment about how adorable your laughter is, how he loved the sound of it.

“Don’t want you moping around the whole time m’gone, yeah? Promise me y’ll do more than just sulk around the place until I get back?” This reminder was given just before he’d had to rush off to catch his plane, giving you no time to offer him much more than a quick peck and a sad smile as an agreement. 

So technically what you plan to do would not be considered breaking a promise, just..catching up on the sleep you would’ve gotten if you hadn't had to wake up so early to ride with Harry to the airport. Normally that was something you would decline to do, preferring to sleep in, which Harry usually was fine with; but this time he had insisted on you accompanying him on his drive, wanting to get as much time with you on this day as he could. 

Just as you're about to venture down the hallway to the bedroom, you spot another item you’re sure hadn’t been on your coffee table earlier that morning when you’d left. It’s a medium sized box, messily wrapped with red paper and tied with purple ribbon and a bow. It’s quite heavy when you lift it, so you sit on the nearby couch to avoid dropping it. You waste no time tearing the paper away, lifting the lid to reveal a candle surrounded by tissue paper. 

There’s a pack of two lighters wedged next to the candle, and you curiously pull it from the box first to see more of Harry’s handwriting on a red sticky note. 

Baby you light up my world like nobody else...

That pulls another laugh from you, this one is bigger and echoes through the dimly lit space. The candle itself is a scent he knows you love, and you bring it closer to your face and inhale deeply. The smell of it helps ease even more of the unease and sadness of him being gone. You dig your phone out of your pocket to check the time and try to calculate whether his plane has landed and he would be able to answer a call from you. 

You ultimately decide to nap first and give him a chance to get settled. He would most likely be calling you later anyway, missing you just as much as you missed him and wanting to hear your voice. You could thank him then for the flowers, candle, and the laugh. So you continue your journey to the bedroom, slipping out of your clothes and sliding open the drawer of Harry’s t-shirts. He’s right, they do all smell like him and you run your fingers along the soft fabrics before selecting one. 

It’s plain white, one of his undershirts normally tucked beneath his expensive button ups and ruffles, but today it’s perfect and comforting attire to doze off in. It’s loose and just long enough on you that you don’t feel the need to put on a pair of your pj shorts with it, The bed is still messy from the morning, and you swear you can still see the outline of where Harry’s body normally tucks next to you on his side. You pull the blanket back and crawl into your usual spot, but it doesn’t feel right; it’s too empty and quiet without Harry. 

You grab his pillow from his side and try your best to replicate the way you would curl yourself around him if he was here. It takes a bit of time to adjust, but eventually you give up and just try to relax into the mattress as much as possible, covering your head slightly with the blanket to surround yourself with warmth.

You peek through the space uncovered to the alarm clock on the bedside table on Harry’s side, the bright red letters read 12:32 p.m. and you let out a deep sigh before drifting off to sleep. If you weren’t so tired, the thought that crosses your mind might just make you laugh again.

Alone in bed in the afternoon on Valentine’s Day. What a shame. 

You wake with a start, bolting upwards at the sound of your phone ringing loudly from somewhere near the bed. You don’t even bother to open your eyes to see who it is, just following the motions to answer and plop back down onto your spot as you let out an almost breathless and groggy “hello?”

“Not missin’ me too much, I see, took you a whole minute to answer,'' You know he’s joking by the hint of amusement in his voice and relief floods through your chest before any other feeling at the idea of him making it safely to his destination, “You alright, love? Sound a bit outta breath. Having some fun in our bed without me?”

“I..no, I was napping, promise, your call just scared me awake..how did you know I’m in bed?”

“I’m only teasing. Just a guess, figured you’d find your way back to the bed not long after you got home.”

“Found the flowers and the candle. Your note on the lighters made me laugh, thank you. How’d you do that though? They weren’t there when we left for the airport and you didn’t come back in.”

“Had one of my assistants drop the flowers off, and the candle’s been stashed in the closet for a week so she set it out for me while she was there. Wish I could’ve been there to see your face and hear that laugh,” He giggles at the thought of it, “S’that all you found? The flowers and the candle? I assume you found the one in the bathroom too, right?”

You’re more alert now, sitting up again to try to process what he’s saying more easily, “What do you mean? There’s more? The bathroom?”

“A few more, yeah. Hid here and there for you to find.”

“You left me a scavenger hunt? Do I at least get clues to help me find them all?”

“I’ve just given you one, haven’t I? Might be persuaded to give you a few more later.”

You’re up off the bed now, making your way to the bathroom where another surprise awaits. You hesitate for only a moment, stopping just as you reach the door.

“What’s in the bathroom? More flowers? One of those big, fluffy teddy bears?”

“M’not gonna tell you! You gotta go in to find out!”

Flipping on the light switch has you gasping at what you see. A heart, entirely made from more red sticky notes, each one embellished with reminders of his love for you. You stumble over words, trying to form a coherent response.

He senses your shock even through the phone and graciously gives you a moment before asking, “S’the heart all wonky or does it look nice? Told them to make it as straight as possible.”

“H..it’s beautiful! How did you have time to write all these before you left?”

“Finished up most of them last night after you fell asleep. They came to me a lot easier with my muse snoring next to me.” 

You truly don’t know what to say to that. You’ve never had someone be so bright and loud with their love for you and just this simple expression makes you feel so incredibly special and loved.

You know that emotion is flowing through the phone when he speaks again, softer and lower, “Y’sure you won’t let me fly you out here to be with me?”

There’s the sound of another voice before Harry barks out another laugh, “Jeff says m’proper miserable without you. He said he’d pay you whatever your salary would be for the next month just to have you here.”

“Tempting, but..” Harry knows how much you love your job and how such a long absence would jeopardize the career you’ve built, so you know he probably won’t mention it again.

“Technically it was gonna be part of my present for you, so..I’ll give you another clue.”

“How very generous of you, H. Will this one make me cry too?”

“Maybe. Knowing you, probably,” You roll your eyes but listen for further instructions, “Just remember I had to rush and there’s still a few I didn’t get to add but, go get your laptop.”

“What’d you do to my laptop?”

“Would ya just go get it? C’mon I’ve gotta hang up soon and I wanna hear your reaction before I hafta go.” 

“Alright, I got it. What now?”

“Go to your music library.” He gives you a moment to navigate through your programs, “Should be a playlist there with your name on it, lovie. Wait, are you already crying?”

“Shut up! Yes!” You wipe at your eyes with the hem of his t-shirt you’re still wearing as you try to read over the list of songs, “This is so sweet! The flowers, the candle, the heart and now this. Harry..I didn’t get you anything and you did all this for me. Thank you, I love you.”

“Love you more,” You can just picture the smug smile on his face, pleased that he’s done a good job of surprising you, “You can make it up to me later.” 

“Don’t push your luck there, H. You’ve just been forgiven, I still have time to change my mind, you know.” 

“I know. I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” You hear what you assume to be Jeff’s voice again in the background, “I gotta go, babe. I’ll try to call again later, alright?”

“Wait! I don’t get any more clues? Can you at least tell me how many more are left?”

“S’no fun for me if I give away all my secrets now, is it?”

It’s only a day later when you find yourself in the kitchen, uncertain about what to make for dinner, eyes scanning over the ingredients in your pantry. Your laptop sits on the counter nearby, and you hum along to My Girl playing through the speakers, a song selected for you by Harry for the playlist he recently made for you.

You’re about to give up and heat up your leftovers from the Italian take-out you had treated yourself to the night before, when you spot the pack of Haribo gummy bears wedged in the corner. You almost have to stand on your tip-toes to reach it, and when you run your hand along the shelf you find another bag of sweets not far from the gummy bears. You smile down at the two bags, his favorite candy and yours sitting side by side.

There’s another of Harry’s red sticky notes on the pack of gummy bears: Being away from you is unBEARable. More of his cheesy jokes you’re sure he thought of himself. Your candy is void of any words, just another messily drawn heart, this time with your name in the middle. 

You decide to FaceTime him this time, wanting to see his face. It only takes 3 rings for him to answer, a tender “Hi, baby.” falling from his lips. The room he’s in is dimly lit, but you can still see him well enough to notice his hair is damp. His curls are more pronounced than usual, which was a sign he’d been too tired to much more than probably run his fingers through after his shower.

“Found another of your surprises.” You hold the candy up for him to see and he smiles.

“Better save me some of those Haribo, and not just all the colors ya don’t like either.”

You tear open the bag, sticking your tongue out at him before popping a few into your mouth, “I might, if you tell me where all the other surprises are.”

You can see him temporarily consider it, biting his bottom lip and meeting your gaze before he shakes his head, “Nah. I will tell you there’s only one more though..well, depends on how you look at it, but to me they only count as one.”

“They?”

He mimics locking his lips, and you decide to drop it for now, knowing you would most likely have to trick or beg him to tell you later. You’d let him think he won. For now.

You roll the top of the bag of candy down, opening the cabinet to tuck them back into the same corner you found them in. They just didn’t taste the same without him there to enjoy them with you. Plus you still had a still had leftover garlic knots and mushroom ravioli you planned to dig into later.

“S’that the playlist I made for you? Sounds like it.”

The song has changed to At Last, Etta James’ voice filling the small kitchen, “Yeah. I love this song.”

“Me too. Reminds me of you now..my love,” You sway a bit to the music before stopping, leaning forward to where your phone is propped on the counter, “Wish I was there t’dance with you.”

You try your best to hold back your emotions of missing him, but you imagine how he would rest his hands on your hips if was here. How he would spin you to face him and move his hands to rest on your back while he led you around in a slow circle across the floor. It wasn’t just his hands you longed for, it was the way he would bend to your ear to sing along to whatever song you were dancing to, especially one like this he knew you loved. You missed his voice in person, the way it would surround you with a comfort and peace you’d never be able to replicate with anything else. 

No matter what you do you can’t stop your thoughts from trailing to how when the song was over, he would lift you to sit on the counter and kiss your forehead. You’re wearing one of his hoodies tonight, and you pull the sleeve down over your hands to use to try to quickly wipe away any tears before he sees them. Once you feel you’ve reined in your emotions to the best of your abilities, you clear your throat before speaking again.

“I miss you, H.”

“I miss you too, angel.”

The music has changed again, Don’t Worry Baby by The Beach Boys lifting the mood enough you don’t feel so heavy and overwhelming with your yearning for him. You take a deep breath, planning to ask him about his day, but before you have a chance he says, “Go to your bedside table. The top drawer.”

“What?”

“M’tryin’ to tell you where your last surprise is. Go to our bedroom and look in the drawer. I’ll wait.”

You flash him a smile before turning to make your way out of the kitchen, through your living room and down the hall to your bedroom. It takes a bit of searching before you uncover a stack of bright, pastel colored envelopes tied together with the same purple ribbon as the candle from the day before. You work quickly to untie the knot and turn the lamp on so you can read the front of each one. There’s 4 total; open when you need a laugh, open when you miss my hugs, open when you need a reminder of my love, open when you miss me.

You tear into the final one immediately, setting the others aside for later. It’s not very long, the perfect length to boost your spirit even further. Just the thought of him taking time to sit down and write his expression of love for you makes you grin, and has that same feeling of being loved spreading through you as it did the previous day when you saw the heart on the bathroom mirror.

You had almost forgotten leaving him on hold in the kitchen until you hear, even from 3 rooms away, the sound of him singing along to whatever song is playing now. You close your eyes, picturing for a moment that it’s a typical night when he’s home, darting around the kitchen while he makes dinner or puts dishes away.  

You make your way back through the house to him, envelope in hand. Each one had been a different color so the second he sees which one you have his eyes brighten, his smile growing bigger the closer you get.

“Of course you opened that one first. Did y’like it?”

You shake your head no, breaking into a laugh when you see the look of disappointment on his face, “I loved it. Very charming of you to do all this just for me, H.”

“Yeah? I did a good job surprising you then?”

You roll your eyes. This man and his need for praise was too much, but he was yours, and you were his and you would do anything to assure him that you loved him just as much as he loved you.

“You did an amazing job, really, Harry. I never expected you to be able to do so much so last minute.”

His mouth drops open in mock dismay, looking down and shaking his head, “I can’t believe you would ever doubt me!”

You don’t say anything, just shake your own head at his teasing, sharing a look of adoration before you look away.

“Hey, did I leave my lip balm there? The coconut kind I use before bed? Thought I had it in my duffel but I couldn’t find it when I got here.” 

“Yep. I used it earlier when I got out of the shower. Want me to send it to you?”

“Nah, you don’t have to, but..you could bring it to me in person if you wanted.” 

“I would if I could, Harry.”

The tone of a new text from your phone startles you, and you try to suppress your elation as best you can at who it’s from. It’s Jeff, confirming the time of your flight he’d helped you schedule for the following day. Harry knows you too well, would instantly be able to read your face and be suspicious of what you were up to. You step away from his line of sight to let the thrill run through you, to let it fully wash over you so he wouldn’t see. You return as quickly as you can, brushing it off as if you’d just gotten a text from your boss or a friend. He was oblivious, none the wiser at what you were planning.

It was your turn to surprise him. 

[ipuckwithhockey]

Easier Said Than Done- M. Tkachuk

Part 1, 2

Part 3- he’s just a boy...

summary: Spending time with Matt is only making you fall harder for him but what if he isn’t on the same page?

a/n: part 3 y’all! i hope you enjoy it. let me know what you think!

warnings: cursing, smut (practice safe sex y’all)

What did you do wrong?

That’s the question that is running through your head as you stare down at your phone, hoping that it will ring or buzz with Matt’s contact. But it doesn’t. It hasn’t. It’s been over a week since you last heard from him and you’re not sure what turned him off so suddenly. For the last few weeks the two of you have spent most the day texting each other, asking about your days, sending memes, and talking about whatever comes to mind, but now it’s radio silence on his end. 

After Matt had asked you out you went on your first date and even though your best friend hadn’t been on board with it, you still went. Addy had warned you that it wasn’t a good idea, that going out with a professional athlete, especially one with a reputation was only going to end with your heart broken. You told her it was just a first date, that if it didn’t go well then there wasn’t anything to worry about. Only it did go well and after your second and third dates you knew you were starting to fall for the guy. 

He had a couple of short road trips  between your first few dates and when he was gone he never failed to call you after games or text you throughout the day. He would ask you how your studying was going and would quickly Google some of the legal jargon you would use when explaining your classes. He was polite, funny and charming, and you couldn’t resist that glimmer of mischief in his eyes or the curls that fell at the nape of his neck. 

Your five date rule was quickly thrown to the side and after sitting through a movie with a particularly steamy scene, you couldn’t help but invite him up to your apartment after your fourth official date. 

Sex with Matthew was something else. The usual awkward first time wasn’t actually that awkward, and once he was lying between your legs, any inhibitions you had before were gone. He was a little rough and sloppy and when you told him you were sure, he gave you time to adjust to his size before railing into you, only making you beg him for more. 

His confidence and smug attitude only made sex hotter. Your more quiet demeanor only made Matthew want you more, and when you whined his name for the first time, he knew he had never heard a sound so sweet. After that first night together Matt knew he was only digging a deeper whole for himself, and he was thankful for the road trip that took him away the next evening. 

He needed time to think. Time to process what he was getting himself into. The only problem was that he could only think of you, your nervous laugh when he would flirt just a little too obviously, the way you’ve already started to reach for his hand to hold it, and as much as he hates to admit it, every night of his trip the thought of you and your body, your mouth wrapped around him, or the sounds he made come from your mouth were on his mind. But the next morning when he would join the team for breakfast, he couldn’t even let himself sit across from his captain. He was ashamed that he couldn’t keep himself from you and that he was only living up to the word immature that gets thrown around too often. It’s been almost a month since your first date and Matthew knew that sneaking around, texting you during the day and scurrying off to his room after games to call you was only going to become more and more suspicious. By the last day of this trip, the day that the team would be flying home, Matt had decided he needed to end things with you. He knew that keeping something like this from Gio would only effect his playing, and that was still his number one priority. 

The two of you had been texting off and on over the few days that he had been away, and when you asked if everything was okay after going a day without hearing from him, he told you he was just focusing on his games. You went out on a limb, and after their last game on the road you called him before they got on the plane. You asked if he wanted to come over when he got home later that evening. Matt had told you before that he never really sleeps after games anyway, and so you figured he would probably be free to come over. At the very least, you had hoped he would be free, and as much as you hated to say it, after that night and after watching him play while he was on the road, you were more than a little wound up for him. Maybe it was selfish, but you couldn’t wait to see him again, and maybe even get him back into your bed. 

“Hey. What’s up?” Matt said as he answered your call, and even though they had won their game, his voice wasn’t as bright and energetic as it usually was. 

“Hey! Um, congrats on the win! I was thinking... maybe we can celebrate when you get back?” You asked with a flirty tone, hoping that he caught on to what you were saying, and you couldn’t see him but Matt was loosening the tie that was suddenly suffocating around his neck, and as much as he would love to have you sprawled on your back for him, he knows that he can’t let himself say yes. Instead, he tells you he’s tired and that he’s going to just head home when he gets back. 

You can’t help but feel a little sad and you answer trying to hide your disappointment, “Oh okay. Yeah, you should get some rest I’m sure you’re exhausted.” 

But Matt can hear the change in the tone of your voice and he can’t help but feel horrible for lying to you, knowing that he really isn’t that tired, and that he’ll probably just go home that night and attempt to get himself off on the thought of you. 

“Are you free Thursday?” And before he can stop himself he’s caving, asking if you’re free so that he can see you again, and you hate that it’s so easy, but it makes you smile again and that flutter in your chest is back and when you tell him Thursday would be great, he mentally curses himself for being so weak. 

But he never called after that night. He couldn’t let himself do it, and when you text him he immediately deleted the messages. He didn’t know how to handle it, but he knew that if he tried to tell you he couldn’t see you anymore that he would never be able to say it. The only way he could possibly stay away from you was if he avoided you at all costs, knowing that if he heard your voice or saw your face he would be screwed. 

You’re not sure what you did wrong and even though you and Matt had only gone out a few times, you can’t help but feel like he played you. He took you out a couple times and then got what he wanted. You didn’t want to be the crazy girl who called and texted a million times, you didn’t want to admit that he already had such a hold on you, so you refrained from texting him after trying to get in contact for a day or two. It’s day ten now, and you’ve been throwing yourself into your studies in an attempt to distract yourself from the fact that Matthew has successfully ghosted you. But tonight when you’re about to turn off your phone, you let yourself click his contact in your messages before you type out a small message. 

y/n: Hey, i haven’t heard from you in a few days, just wanted to make sure you were okay :) 

It’s a simple message and as sad and desperate as it feels trying to get his attention you send it anyway. As much as you’re hoping for a response, you’re also at half expecting him to continue to ignore you. 

Matt was laying in bed, trying to settle his mind so that he could get some decent sleep, but sleep won’t find him and when his phone vibrates on the table next to his bed, he rolls over to read the notification. He figured you had gotten over him since he hasn’t heard from you since right after he started ignoring your messages, but reading the text from you now only makes him hate himself more, and just like before he’s crumbling beneath you. 

Matt: Hey sorry for not getting back to you. Work has been crazy. 

It’s reads kind of half assed, and Matthew knows it too. He hasn’t spoken to you in almost two weeks, and you deserved more of an explanation than that, he just couldn’t muster up anything better, so he adds something that actually is true, 

Matt: I miss you. When can I see you again?

You hate that it’s so easy to forgive him, but you can’t stay mad at the guy. You know how crazy the hockey season can get from the time that you’ve spent with the Giordano’s and you and Matt weren’t actually together, so you can’t blame him for putting his career above a date with a girl he’s just getting to know. You let yourself justify his silence before texting him back. 

y/n: Is right now too soon?

If Matt didn’t have any self control before, he sure as hell didn’t have any now. It’s been at least two weeks since he felt your body against his, and he’s already half hard after reading your message. It’s almost eleven, and even though he knows he shouldn’t do it, he replies to your message and is at your apartment in fifteen minutes. 

You only have a sleep shirt and panties on and there’s no holding back when he sees you. When you answer your door, you barely have time to get out the word “hi” before his lips are attached to yours and he’s picking you up with his hands underneath your thighs as he slams your door behind him.  You don’t mind the greeting and if the smell of his freshly washed hair and cologne aren’t enough, his touch and his lips are more than intoxicating. 

He carries you through your apartment and when he gets to your room he throws you on to the mattress before stripping himself of his shirt while you do the same. When he sees your mostly naked body lying in front of him he has to control himself from going absolutely feral, but you can see the dark look in his eyes and when you move yourself to the edge of the bed you reach for the elastic waistband of his sweatpants. You can sense that you’re both hungry for each other and before he can say anything you’re on your knees in front of him and his hands are gripping through your hair.  

You lick down his already hard shaft and when you finally take him in your mouth you can hear him suck in a breath as you hollow your cheeks, letting him hit the back of your throat. 

“Fuck baby. You look so fucking good.” He tries to hold back but he can’t help but let his hands that are in your hair guide you up and down his length. Your cheeks are wet with your tears and seeing you so messy, and on your knees for him is enough to bring him closer and closer to his climax. 

Before he can spill into your mouth, he abruptly pulls you from him as he tosses you back on to the mattress behind you. His naked body is on top of yours before you can even catch your breath and his lips are attached to yours again as his hands explore your body. When he dips his head down to suck on your breasts it only makes you arch into him, and as one of his hands dips into your soaked panties you know it won’t take him long to get you off. 

His thick fingers run slowly through your folds, collecting your wetness before making small circles over your clit, “Fuck you’re so wet,” he says against the skin on your neck. When he dips two fingers into your core you instinctively clench around him and the friction between his fingers and the pressure of his thumb running over your clit are enough to bring you to your climax. 

“M-Matty, please.” You beg for him as he guides you over your climax with his fingers. When you’ve ridden out the waves of pleasure, Matt is quick to lick his fingers clean and just as he’s about to bury his face between your thighs you stop him, “No. No, I need you inside me.” And the desperation in your voice only makes him more eager to please you as he pushes inside of you with the roll of his hips.  

You would be lying if you said you hadn’t missed the way he filled you that first night you spent together, and your body is giving away just how badly you needed him as you whimper beneath him, letting him set a swift pace while he fucks you into your mattress. 

“Fuck baby.”

“F-fuck you feel so good.”

“I missed you.”

Praises fall from his mouth and you hold his eye contact as he says them. The dark blue eyes are mesmerizing, and even though they’re clouded with lust, you swear you can still see the soft, cool blue beneath that want and need. 

You continue to surprise him when you push him down and position yourself on top of him, and that look of desire in his eyes only deepens. You start to ride him toward his climax and just as you have him on the edge, that smirk you’ve come to know appears on his face as he flips you back over on to your back. All in one graceful motion he has you underneath him again where he hikes one of your legs up around himself so that he can sink further into you. The kisses and moans are sloppy and needy and his hips snap faster against yours as his thrusts move quicker and harder into you. He fucks you through your orgasm before he spills into the condom that separates the two of you and as you continue to come down from your high you can feel him gently placing open mouthed kisses along your neck.

When the two of you have steadied your breathing and cleaned yourselves up, you both climb back into your bed, and Matt pulls your naked body against his.

“Sorry I went AWOL on you.” He says as he places a tender kiss to the top of your head. He feels horrible about what he did and even though he has no idea how this is going to play out, he knows that there isn’t anywhere else he would rather be.

“It’s okay, just maybe don’t do it again.” You whisper back.

You’re head is on his chest and his arms are wrapped around you. Your legs are tangled together, and you can hear the beat of his heart as you start to fall asleep.

“I um, I really like you.” Matt is thankful that you can’t see his face right now and he doesn’t know why he’s so embarrassed to admit his feelings for you, but when he says it out loud it feels right.

You smile at his confession. “I really like you too,” you reply but you’re still not sure where this thing with him is going. As much as you don’t want to pull the “what are we” card, this feels like the time you should be asking what he wants out of this thing between the two of you.

“... I’m not expecting anything from you, but I just think we should probably be on the same page as far as what we want, you know?” You whisper against his chest, and you swear you can almost sense his heart rate pick up when you ask. You know he’s a single guy who likes living his bachelor lifestyle, but you also don’t want to end up a casualty of not being on the same page.

“Well what do you want?”

You take a deep breathe and let yourself think for moment, deciding on what to say. “I want to be honest with you and like I said, I really like you. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you and this,” you motion to the two of you laying naked in bed together, “is clearly going pretty well... But I also know that I’m more of a relationship girl, I like the commitment and the steadiness of a relationship. This is especially important to me now that I’m also focusing on law school and my career and so if you don’t think that this is going in that direction then I think we should probably call it.” It hurts to admit all of that to him. It hurts to think he’ll probably take this out and even though it would spare you from getting too attached down the road, you would still be upset knowing you had feelings that were more intense than his. But it was the truth, you needed to be serious about your life and your future, and if Matt didn’t want the same things then this wasn’t going to work. There wouldn’t be any point in dragging this out any longer.

He takes in what you’ve said, and as scared as he feels, he also thinks about what so many people in his life have been telling him. They’ve been telling and begging him to find a girl to settle down with and now he’s found you, a girl who has him so wrapped around his finger already who wants something serious and mature, and yet it’s forbidden because his captain and friend won’t have it. How bad could it be though? If you feel the same way he feels about you and being together actually works then how mad could his friends be at him for disobeying their wishes? If you’re both happy together then how could they be mad?

“I think we’re on the same page, babe” he finally says back and even though it was probably only a few seconds it felt like you had been holding your breath for forever. You let out a sigh of relief and again those butterflies are fluttering in your stomach.

You just offer him a soft, “okay.” And you think that the conversation is over so you let your eyes start to doze off before Matt speaks again.

“I think it might be a good idea if we kept this more to ourselves for right now. Media and fans on social media tend to freak out when they think I’m dating someone, so maybe we can just keep this between us for right now?” and although this this is true, he also knows he needs some time to figure out how he’s going to tell Gio about the two of you.

You didn’t think too much about that before, but you realize now that it probably is difficult for him to start a relationship with so many people watching his every move. It’s probably difficult to find someone he can trust and rely on when so many people only want him for who he is on the ice. It makes you feel kind of sad for him and you place a quick kiss on his chest before telling him that it’s absolutely fine to keep things between the two of you. You agree that it would be best to keep things between the two of you and you fall asleep to the sound of Matt’s breathing and the feeling of his thumb tracing small circles across your skin.

[maneskinrollercoaster]

~ I Loved You For All This Time Apart ~

Pairing: Damiano David x Lea (fictional character)

Word count: 1759

Warnings: Slightly bit of swearing.

Summary: Lea makes a hard decision which has major consequences on her relationship.

The doors opened and she saw him. Damiano was standing in front of her while she walked past the gate from her plane. They haven’t seen each other for a long time. Three years passed since their breakup but they still didn’t stop loving each other.

Damiano was stubborn. When Lea told him that she wants to leave to England, he quickly protested, saying that she’s better living in Italy, in her home country, rather than being all alone in an unknown place without any family or friends.

He always wanted to impress everyone. When he was in the studio with Vic, Thomas and Ethan, everything had to be perfect. He didn’t leave the place without making sure that every sound and lyric were on point. Lea told him that he can’t overwork himself like that but he didn’t listen and stayed in the studio from dusk till dawn working his ass off till he fell asleep on the floor with papers in his tired hands.

Damiano never missed the opportunity to party. Whether it was celebrating their new albums or just a local festival, he never said no to going out with his friends. He drank a lot on the parties which made Lea angry. Once he got so drunk that Lea had to call a Taxi and literally crawl with him on her back to get him home. She was furious that night, which didn’t happen often and threatened him that they will break up if he won’t stop being so irresponsible.

She wasn’t a loud person though. She never got angry and never raised her voice. It was really hard to make her go out of control and she knew that sometimes she was too kind to everyone. Damiano always told her that she should stand up for herself more but she was too generous to see bad in people.

When she got irritated she usually closed herself in the bedroom and meditated to clear her mind. It helped her a lot and she never was the one to argue anyways. She always prefered to calm down and talk. Damiano loved how down to earth Lea was. Whenever they had a worse moment, she held his hands, stroking them gently and said: What’s bothering you, love? Let’s talk about it.

Those little moments felt like big steps until it all crashed.

One day Lea made the most important and the hardest decision. She bought a ticket to London and told Damiano that she’s leaving Italy. He tried to turn it into a joke at first but then he realized that she was serious.

What do you mean you’re leaving Italy? He asked her confused, giving her a look full of fear. He didn’t want to loose her. She was his soulmate and loosing her would mean loosing a part of him.

Baby, I want to travel, chase my dreams. There are so many opportunities waiting for me, I want to go and be happy. Her face lit up and passion in her voice made Damiano frown.

So you’re not happy with me, huh? He said and his eyes turned black. He was angry. How could she ever think of leaving him and moving to UK? Her place was next to him, in Italy.

Dami, it’s not about you. I just..

You just what? You want to leave me here alone and sacrifice everything we have! He screamed and Lea, not aware of his sudden outburst, shivered.

I’m not breaking up with you. But you have to understand, I can’t spend my whole life here, only looking at you succeed. As much as I love you and as much as I’m happy about your carrier, I want to do it for myself, I want to achieve something, be successful. I’m doing this to show myself that I’m worthy. She said and her eyes filled with tears.

Well then, I guess it’s over for us. I can’t do long distance. He said letting down his head.

So you don’t even want to try? You don’t want to put some effort and make our relationship work? Her cheeks were now wet from the tears. She looked at him full of sadness and disappointment.

You just chose.

Alright then, goodbye Damiano.

That’s when they’ve seen each other for the last time.

Since then Lea lived in London. The weather there wasn’t as amazing as in Italy but Lea found herself amazed with british culture. The people there were kind, saying thank you and I’m sorry with every occasion possible. They were helpful too. Whenever Lea entered a bookstore or coffee shop, people seemed to be willing to help with anything you’d ask them for. She felt like she could get friends with everyone there which didn’t make her feel so lonely. After a month of wandering around and gettin to know the country a little more, Lea joined a local designer house and started her career as a fashion designer and consultant. There she met Steph - her spirit guide as she used to say all the time. They started designing together and their work found its popularity around London soon after. Lea finally felt like it was her place and she for sure didn’t want to leave. Ever.

After three years she’s gotten an invitation for Alex’s wedding in Florence. Since he was like a brother to her she decided to visit her home country but soon after she got a call from him. Damiano called her at 2 am in the morning, waking her up and saying that they should meet once she arrives. At first she was shocked. They broke up on not such good terms but the truth was none of them stopped loving the other.

Damiano through all this time wrote songs about Lea. He knew that if he’d tried even a little then maybe their relationship would work. But he was a coward. He couldn’t stand a fact of long distance, being together but apart at the same time, so he decided to shut up and all his braveness vanished. His lyrics were deep and sad, all of them about being lonely, breakup and sadness. Vic, Thomas an Ethan tried to talk to him but he always shut them off, saying that he’s fine and that they shouldn’t worry. After a while he seemed to move on but when Alex called him with a wedding invitation, saying that Lea confirmed her attendance, his heart stopped. He decided to call her.

Damiano, its 2 am in the morning. What is so important you want to tell me at such a time? Lea answered her phone with a sleepy voice.

I heard you’re attending Alex’s wedding and i just.. wanted to call you to ask what are you getting them as a gift. Damiano lied which was obvious even to Lea.

For a gift? Are you out of your mind? You call me at 2 am just to ask me for a fucking gift? She said shocked at her own tone.

I uhm.. i think we should meet. You know, once you arrive. He said and brushed his hair with his palm.

We will meet at the wedding. She said harshly.

No Lea, i meant meet before the wedding. To talk.

What do you wanna talk about?

Us? He said, not being sure of her response.

Us? You want to talk about us Damiano? You said yourself you don’t want long distance and now after 3 years you want to talk about us? If it wasn’t Alex’s wedding, I’m sure you wouldn’t have called. Lea said and she was about to hang up but Damiano stopped her.

But I love you. Damiano’s words stuck in her mind making it repeat them over and over again. I’ve never stopped.

For good 5 minutes there was a silence that Lea didn’t want to break. Shock was an understatement. Of course, she hadn’t stopped loving him either but he said that out of the blue and she didn’t know exactly what to say.

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.. Damiano started but was interrupted.

No, it’s okey. I just.. It’s not a conversation we should be having through the phone. She said quietly and soon after they ended their call.

And now he was standing in front of her. Dressed all in black, his hair longer than Lea has remembered and even more handsome than she saw him last time. She noticed that his jawline was more sharp and on his face she saw a slight beard.

Damiano also noticed some changes. Lea wasn’t wearing glasses like before, her hair were a lighter color than the brown hazelnut tone he loved so much but she looked really good.

Long time no see. Damiano said and a slight smile appeared on his face.

Yeah, long time indeed. She said squeezing tighter a handle of her suitcase.

They stood like this for what felt like forever when suddenly Lea felt Damiano’s arms wrapping around her tightly and pulling her closer for a warm hug. It truly felt like home. His scent of cologne mixed with cigarettes and his fingers gently stroking her back, his face buried in a crock of her neck and lips dangerously close to her skin. Lea felt his breath on her neck and sighed wrapping her arms around his torso, giving back the hug.

I missed you so much. Damiano whispered and Lea’s eyes started getting watery.

She missed him too but never wanted to admit it. Not after he decided to end this relationship because he didn’t have the courage to try and make it work from a distance.

Not long after she felt Damiano’s warm lips on hers. She didn’t expect it all and surprised but pleased with such sudden interaction she kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. The kiss was sweet, full of love and missing each other but they both enjoyed it more than they both expected. After a while they pulled away, looking into each other’s eyes.

I know we have a lot to figure out and a lot to talk through but I’ve never stopped loving you. Please forgive me. Damiano said stroking Lea’s cheek with his thumb.

I loved you for all this time apart. Lea said and they both smiled at each other.

It didn’t matter for them that they were standing in each other’s embrace in the middle of the airport. What really mattered to them was that they found their way back to each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello everyone! I’m back and I just want to explain myself that I was on vacation in London so that’s the reason of my absence. Expect some London inspired content.

ALSOOO I JUST WANTED TO THANK FOR 100 FOLLOWERS! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME AND I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! ❤️

That one is not as good but i hope you enjoy it! ❤️🥰

Requests opened.

Tag list: [ @teenyweenynightghost , @superchrystaldrug , @unitermoonshine ]

[holidaywishes]

then we‘ll start our life together

  Requested: 👍

  Summary/Request: Freddie starts to spend time with Jackson and keeps pressing to tell him the truth; the secret finally comes out to Fred’s parents; (Y/N) has to make a choice.

  Warning: fluff, maybe a tiny bit of angst but I wouldn’t count on it

  Author’s Note: Can I first say how much I love this GIF? He looks so fucking good, I can’t stand it. He’s smiling, he’s got scruff, the maroon/burgundy hat looks A-MA-ZING on him 🤤 Anyway, moving on. This is the last part of the request that @kayleafs221​​ sent me a while back that started as just a two-parter. We worked on part three together and I think it turned out really well but they really wanted the reader and Freddie together -- they just didn’t know how to write it. Enter: me! As much as I love writing angst, and as well as I think I can write it, I’m a hopeless romantic at heart so a happy ending is always in sight when I’m writing. It’s sort of a long chapter because of everything that needed to be fit in for it to be a happy ending without just... cutting to the happy ending. I hope you enjoy it! Stay Golden, my loves! <3!

  P.S. I'm sorry this took SO long to get out. I started writing it a bunch of times and then things happened around the house that took and held my attention. BUT I'M HERE NOW! It's snowing today when it was +20 yesterday and I've got a bunch of goodies to keep me focused on sitting down and writing. It's like being back in University writing my god damn thesis again 😂😂 ENJOY! By the way, this is the dress I was trying to describe, hopefully it came through!

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

Freddie’s P.O.V

  When you found out Jackson was yours, you felt a lot of things. You were mad that you didn’t get to have those first six years, frustrated that (Y/N) didn’t reach out to you to at least tell you that he was yours, but you were also happy that you were able to see him grow up now. When she asked you if you wanted to finally meet Jackson, you nearly screamed over the phone; like a fangirl

  “Relax!” she laughed, “you can’t say anything. I just told him a friend of mine was in town and we were going to meet him for lunch. He doesn’t know anything okay? And you can’t let on about.. anything”

  “I know. I promise I won’t”

  “Oh another thing,” she added, “wear a hat”

  “A hat?” you scoffed

  “He’s a smart kid and if he sees that you’ve got red hair, he’ll figure it out”

  “Fine, I’ll wear a hat” you teased

  “Thank you.” You were sure that you’d be able to keep yourself together but you had downed two glasses of water before (Y/N) and Jackson even got to the restaurant. When the hostess brought them to the table, your eyes went wide when you saw the little strawberry blonde boy clutching the hand of his mother; a perfect mix of you and her

  “Hey,” (Y/N) greeted with a smile, “Jackson, this is Freddie. Freddie, this is Jackson, my son”

  “Hi Jackson” you smiled, standing up excitedly earning a glare from (Y/N) as the little boy hid behind her legs

  “Sweetheart, can you say hi to Freddie?” she asked

  “Hello” he whispered

  “It’s nice to meet you, little man”

  “Let’s sit down, huh?” (Y/N) smirked, directly Jackson and you back to the chairs, “who’s hungry?”

  “Me!” Jackson exclaimed, earning a laugh from you before you all scanned the menu. You could feel (Y/N) watching the two of you as Jackson started talking about his sports teams, going from Soccer to Baseball to Basketball in one breath, his excitement palpable

  “Have you ever wanted to try Hockey?” you asked

  “I don’t know how to skate” he mumbled

  “We live in California,” (Y/N) scoffed, “there’s not a lot of ice there”

  “There are always rinks” you added, catching her angry glare that you knew meant you were getting dangerously close to exposing the secret she’d tried so hard to keep. “I can always help you learn...”

  “No way! Really?!” he exclaimed, leading your eyes to catch (Y/N) biting her lip insecurely

  “Only if your mom is okay with it. And if it’s something you really want”

  “Mommy, please!” he begged, “it’s the only one I haven’t tried! I wanna try! He can help me, mama!”

  “How about we eat first and then we can figure all that stuff out later?” she laughed and Jackson nodded happily, sitting back in his seat. It wasn't long into the meal that Jackson continued to beg to learn how to skate with you and you could feel (Y/N) become more agitated with you

  "Hey, Jackson," you interrupted his excitement, "what's your favourite snack?"

  "Mmm..." he hummed as he contemplated his answer, "black licorice!" (Y/N) scoffed and shook her head before peeking up at you

  "I don't get it," she replied, "no one actually likes black licorice unless they're like a.. grandma or something"

  "I love black licorice!" you exclaimed

  "You do?!" Jackson asked and you nodded. "SEE MOM! I TOLD YOU I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE!"

  "I know you did, baby" she sighed before Jackson excused himself to go to the bathroom

  "He's so cute" you began to coo

  "You're the only other person I know who actually likes black licorice"

  "Should I not have said that?" you winced

  "I don't know... he could think it's just a miraculous coincidence"

  "Look," you smiled, "it's a Danish thing. We all eat black licorice like it's chocolate. Should we tell him that?"

  "I--" she started, stopping only when he came back, "Hey sweetie! everything go okay?"

  "Yeah, mom.." he sneered

  "One of these days I'm not gonna ask and you're gonna miss it" she joked

  "Yeah right," he scoffed. When you finished the meal, Jackson told you that they were heading downtown to go to the CN Tower before you left, "wanna come?"

  "I don't know... what does your mom think?" you smiled and turned your gaze to (Y/N)

  "Mom thinks it's fine"

  "AND THEN WE CAN GO SKATING!"

  "Jackson..." she sighed, shaking her head while the three of you walked through the streets and made your way downtown to the city’s major tourist attraction. The ride up to the top, to the observation deck, was silent as Jackson got as close to the window as he could to look out at the city, letting you and (Y/N) linger near each other with each passing second. "He likes you" she whispered

  "He's a great kid" you whispered back and she smiled

  "He really is"

  "MOM LOOK!" Jackson pointed out to the city and she walked to him, kneeling down behind him so he could show her what he was seeing. You so wanted to be part of it but you knew you had to wait for her to say that it was time; she looked back at you with a soft smile before dropping her head against her sons shoulder.

xx

  When you and Jackson got back to California, he had so many questions about Freddie

  “Why did we hang out with him all weekend?”

  “Did you date?”

  “Why is he so tall?”

  “Is he gonna teach me how to skate?”

  “When are we gonna see him again?”

  You had to take a deep breath to try to answer his questions, telling him that you two dated a long time ago, that you lost touch and that you might never see him again but that seeing him now was enough.

  “But is he gonna teach me how to skate?” he asked again and you chuckled

  “I can teach you how to skate...” you lied

  “He said he wanted to though!”

  “Jackson.. baby, we’re not close to him. Physically. We can find someone to teach yo—”

  “I WANT HIM TO TEACH ME!” he whined, forcing you to furrow your brow at him

  “Jackson!” you tried to sound stern but your surprise kept creeping in

  “I DON’T KNOW WHY HE CAN’T TEACH ME!!! I WANT HIM TO TEACH ME HOW TO SKATE!”

  “JACKSON CALEB (Y/L/N)!” you yelled, “DO NOT YELL AT ME!”

  “I WANT—”

  “ENOUGH!” you shouted, “you cannot whine and yell and throw a temper tantrum and expect to get what you want. If you really want to learn how to skate, we can find someone but do not try to force me to do exactly what you want” you watched the corners of his mouth shift into a frown before his eyes brimmed with tears. “Baby, I’m sorry. I love that you want him to teach you but he’s so busy and he’s so far away, we can’t do it as easily as you think...”

  “Can’t he come here?” he asked softly

  “Sure he can,” you added, lifting him up onto the couch so you could kneel in front of him, “but it won’t be every day. It would only be when he’s here for work and that means he might not have a lot of spare time...”

  “But if we take lessons here then he’ll be able to see my progress!”

  “Absolutely kiddo!”

  “AWESOME!” he exclaimed, jumping off the couch and running to his room. You were left a bit in shock at the conversation but you could feel the need for Jackson to have a father figure creeping closer and closer. When your phone rang, you slumped onto the couch and answered it

  “Hello” you sighed

  “(Y/N)!! Oh my god!” Amalie greeted happily from the other line

  “Amalie? Hi... what’s going on?”

  “I saw the pictures of your little boy! He looks so much like Freddie. How come you didn’t tell us?!”

  “Hold on... slow down, what are you talking about?”

  “Fred called mom and told her the good news. We’re so excited to have another Andersen!”

  “He told you? About Jackson?”

  “Jackson, oh I love that name!” she cooed

  “I’m sorry, what exactly did he say?” you asked, curious how much Freddie actually said

  “He just called mom gushing about how he spent the whole weekend with his son. When mom stopped screaming with excitement, he said that Jackson,” she giggled as she said his name, “is great at sports but he doesn’t know how to skate yet, which my dad was shocked about” she laughed. “Mom had him on speaker obviously, so we all heard as he was talking to her. He was so excited to tell us about him. But, (Y/N)... why did you keep him from us?”

  “What?”

  “Look, no one else seemed to catch on that he was your son and that you and Fred haven’t seen each other in 6 years? But I did and I don’t get it...”

  “Freddie got traded and he had to hop on a plane and forget everything in California. I didn’t find out I was pregnant for another two months after he left so it wasn’t like I intended to... I thought about reaching out to him so many times but his life was so public and I couldn’t imagine putting my son through all of that without a choice”

  “But he’s Freddie’s son too” she countered and you could only shake your head to yourself. You were tired of explaining this to everyone

  “I know but I needed to protect Jackson above everything. Look, Fred and I discussed all this and we’ve agreed to let him get to know Jackson slowly”

  “And he’s okay with that?” you scoffed

  “He’s a little hesitant, sure, but he agrees that this is what’s best”

  “I just don’t want my big brother to get... cheated out of more time with his son”

  “He won’t”

  “I don’t want him getting hurt”

  “Amalie, I appreciate all of this. Honest, I do, but my job is to protect my son and sometimes that means keeping secrets from people...”

  “I don’t know, that doesn’t seem right”

  “I,” you started, calming your tone as you were starting to get agitated, “I have to go, Amalie. Tell everyone I say hi and I’m sure I’ll be talking with you all soon”

  “Bye!” You were almost fuming at the thought that Freddie went behind your back and told his family about your son

  “Hello” Freddie greeted from the other line

  “WHAT THE HELL FREDDIE?!” you shouted

  “(Y/N), what’s wrong?” he replied, playing dumb

  “You told your family???? I thought we discussed this, Freddie!”

  “I told my — I was excited. It slipped, I’m sorry” you dropped your head to your free hand and shook your head

  "I don't even know what to say right now..."

  "I promise Jackson won't know anything until you're ready"

  "Glad to hear it," you scoffed, "look, just run some of these things by me first. I'm not a huge fan of surprises, I'd like to be prepared if I have to defend myself okay?"

  "I get it, I'm sorry. It won't happen again"

  "Thank you" you smiled to yourself before dropping the topic. His voice calmed you down enough for you to take a deep breath and he spent the next 20 minutes telling you how much fun he had with you and Jackson and how he missed you already; you laughed and told him how much Jackson was pestering you about learning to skate

  "I'm sorry" Freddie said

  "No no!" you smirked, "it's okay, he's so excited. It's adorable. He actually yelled at me when I told him you couldn't teach him"

  "Really?" he asked, a lightness in his tone that brought you back to how the two of you used to be

  "Yeah," you admitted, "he really likes you. I think it's actually gonna be really easy to tell him; honestly, I think he'll be happy about it"

  "I'm happy to hear that," he replied, "so when are we gonna tell him?"

  "Don't push your luck, Mr. Goaltender. It's still gonna take some time" you weren't sure how much time but you knew you weren't ready for the truth to come out yet, no matter how well they were getting along.

xx

Freddie's P.O.V

  After (Y/N) found out that you told your mom, who in turn alerted the entire family, that you had a son, you were sure she'd be too angry to let him spend any more time with you.

  "We finally found him a teacher," she said over the phone, informing you about Jackson's time on the ice, "he's a great guy. Really positive with Jackson, really encouraging. J seems like he's having a lot of fun -- he keeps saying he can't wait to go skating with you"

  "That's great!" you exclaimed, "when will you guys be in Toronto?"

  "We won't," she said simply

  "Oh... I don't understand?"

  "Fred, my job isn't like your job. I can't just fly off to Toronto with my son"

  "Even on the weekends?"

  "Yeah, even on the weekends" she scoffed

  "So, what then? How am I supposed to take him skating and see where he's at with everything? How am I supposed to get to know my son when I can't even see him?"

  "Come here," she blurted out, forcing you to keep silent and take a seat on your couch, "whenever your next game in California is, take some time and come see us. We can meet you somewhere, we'd make that work"

  "I don't think I'd have any free time..." you answered

  "Just tell us when you're in town and we'll make it work. Trust me, okay?" she said and you could hear her smile, "I have to go but I'll text you later"

  "Okay" you sighed as you hung up the phone. You thought about how exactly you could make this work, because you really wanted to make it work, but the schedule was packed; you couldn't see a time for you all to get together. You texted her when you were in L.A. and told her that you had some free time over the weekend if she was okay to meet you there and she was quick to agree. When the three of you finally met up, Jackson excitedly jumped onto the ice to show you his skills and you stood behind the glass with (Y/N) to watch him skate a little before either of you joined him. "Thank you for coming out here," you said and she nudged your shoulder before sitting down on the bench to put on her skates, "I'm serious. I know my schedule's always been a little crazy but I appreciate you at least giving me a chance"

  "You know I can't skate right?" she laughed and you realized that she was struggling to tighten her laces

  "Hold on, stop" you laughed, kneeling in front of her to help her

  "This is a disaster," she scoffed, "I probably should just let you guys skate without me"

  "No way that's happening," he smirked, "it's too late for that"

  "You sure no one is gonna find us here?"

  "I'm sure" you replied, looking up at her before clearing your throat and sitting back on the bench to put your skates on. Her arm grazed yours, eliciting a flush of heat from you

  "You have to tell him you're proud of him," she said, laying her head on your shoulder as she watched her son skate slowly across the ice and you looked at her. You kissed the top of her head and just sat there with her for a while

  "I will" you whispered finally, forcing her to take her head off your shoulder and her eyes met yours as she smiled

  "Good" she whispered, her eyes drifting down to your lips as if she was waiting for you to make a move

  "MOM! FREDDIE!" Jackson yelled, taking the two of you out of the moment you were having

  "And... saved by the kid" you joked, dropping your head, preparing yourself to get up but not before she laid a sweet kiss on your cheek.

xx

  “You know, my dad taught me and my brothers how to skate and how to play hockey,” Freddie explained to Jackson as he helped you up from where you fell, “it’s a family tradition”

  “It is?” Jackson’s little voice asked, leading you and Freddie to smile

  “It is!” he replied

  “So why are you teaching me? Where’s your family?” you dropped your head in defeat

  “Uh, well..” Freddie stammered, looking at you briefly before turning his attention back to the boy

  “Baby, why don’t you skate ahead. Fred’s just gonna keep me from falling but we’ll be right behind you” you said softly while you continued to grip onto Freddie’s arm so you didn’t fall

  “I think it’s time to tell him” he laughed

  “He’s gonna hate me” you admitted, revealing the reason you hadn’t wanted to tell him after all these years

  “He’s not gonna hate you. You’re his mom, he loves you” he scoffed, nudging you with his elbow and you had to clutch onto him so you didn’t fall

  “Freddie!” you exclaimed with a laugh, “ugh. I’m gonna die out here, I’m sure of it”

  “We don’t have to tell him here, we could go out for lunch or ice cream. Go to the malt shop at the beach, anything. I just think we should tell him”

  “What happens when we tell him? What if it never.. what if it just always sucks after that?”

  “I’ll be there with you. Every step of the way. I promise, I won’t leave again”

  “You can’t promise that. Your career pulls you everywhere...”

  “But I won’t ever leave you. You can come with me, I would love nothing more, actually” he stopped and turned to you, holding onto your arms. “Live with me, travel with me. Toronto isn’t by the Pacific Ocean and it’s not always sunny but it’s a great place to be”

  “I don’t know... we’d have to talk to his teachers and make sure we find a school, a good school, where he could start at the beginning. You know, not like in the middle of the year...”

  “We can make that happen” he tried

  “What about his friends?”

  “We’ll make sure they all keep in touch. (Y/N), I want this to work. I want to be part of his life and I’ve always wanted to be with you. You know that, right?” your eyes danced between his as you prepared to answer him before you were interrupted by Jackson calling you

  “We’re coming!” you called back and let Freddie pull you toward him, letting you go when Jackson fell onto his knees

  “Alright it’s okay buddy,” Freddie cooed as you slowly drifted toward them, “you hurt?”

  “No,” he said proudly, “but I fell...”

  “Yeah you did,” Freddie continued, “but that’s okay. Sometimes you fall but you got back up, that’s the important thing” you smiled as you heard the two boys talking, feeling a sudden rush of love you had long since forgotten. “Wanna take a break and get some food?”

  “YEAH!”

  “Mom?” Fred asked, outstretching his hand to you

  “I’ll do anything to get off this ice” you laughed. The three of you made your way to a retro-style Diner, complete with red vinyl booths, and waited to order some food; all the while, Jackson was glaring at Freddie, “Jackson!” you scolded, “it’s not polite to stare like that”

  “Why don’t you take your hat off? Is it like permently glued to your head?” he asked Freddie, tripping up on the word he’d heard you say on occasion, earning a scoff from you and a laugh from Freddie

  “No, it’s not glued to my head” Freddie replied

  “So you should take it off. Manners”

  “You’re right” he added with a smile

  “He’s right” you sighed, anticipating his reaction when he saw Freddie’s hair for the first time. As you expected, Jackson gasped when Freddie took off his hat, as if seeing another person with red hair was this miraculous thing — though you always thought there was more blonde than red to his shade.

  “Your hair is like mine” he smiled and all you could do was wait. How do I tell him? you thought to yourself, stealing glances from Freddie

  “You’ve got your moms hair”

  “She always said that my hair was hers and my dads put in a blender” he laughed

  “I did say that, didn’t I?” you chuckled

  “Mom, is Freddie my dad?” he asked, the words hanging in the air as you tried to catch your breath

  “Uhm,” you started, clearing your throat as you watched Jackson keep his head down and eyes on the table, “what makes you say that, sweetie?”

  “Is he?” he repeated

  "Well, buddy," Freddie started, looking at you before you nodded so he knew he could continue, "yeah. Yeah, I'm your dad..." You both waited for him to react but he just sat there in silence, still not raising his head to meet your eyes

  "Sweetheart?" you whispered, kneeling in front of him, "Jackson, can you look at me?"

  "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked quietly

  "She was just trying to protect you, Jackson" Freddie added, causing Jackson to quickly look up at him

  "You didn't know about me?" he asked again and you were finally able to see the tears roll down his sweet little cheeks

  "I--"

  "Why did you keep me from my daddy?!" Jackson yelled

  "Sweetheart, please, calm down" you tried but it was no use

  "NO!" he stepped back and kicking his chair in frustration, "everyone else gets a dad why not me?!"

  "Jackson!" Freddie tried when he noticed you had practically crumpled in your chair

  "NO!" Jackson repeated as he ran out of the diner

  "I'm so sorry everyone..." Freddie apologized to the group before you made your way outside

  "Jackson..." you whispered when you found him sitting on a bench a few feet from the diner

  "Go away" he cried

  "Baby, I know you're mad," you started, sitting down beside him before he moved away from you, "I loved Freddie, your dad, very much and he loved me the same. We met and, immediately, we clicked -- I always wanted to be around him, I missed him when he was gone and I didn't want him to ever leave when he got back. When he left, I was broken. Nothing really made sense anymore and I couldn't forgive him for leaving me like that. But then you came along and you became the most important thing in my life; you really changed everything" you smiled as he nestled into your side. "You deserve to have a dad, you deserve to know your dad, you're so much like him it's crazy" you chuckled before resting your cheek on Jackson's head. "Freddie's life is complicated. It's very busy but it's also very public; you don't have as much freedom to just... be a kid like you do with just me"

  "Is that why you didn't tell him?"

  "Sort of..." you replied, "I didn't think I'd ever see him again and my heart was so hurt but you are the most important thing in the world to me. I shouldn't have kept him a secret from you, I'm sorry"

  "So what now?" he asked

  "Well... I wanted to talk to you about something," you stammered, "Freddie and I have been getting close again, I still really love him. That kind of love is hard to forget, you’ll realize that one day, but he really wants to spend more time with you but his life is in Toronto..."

  "Yeah?" he said

  "Would you want to move there?" you asked, noticing him perk his head up

  "All of us would be together?" he asked

  "Yes and maybe you'll even get to meet Fred's family. Really get to learn the Andersen family traditions, the right way"

  "YES!" he exclaimed before hugging you tightly. "But mom?" he asked

  "Hmm?"

  "Can we call him dad?" you laughed at his question before nodding in response. You headed back inside to where Freddie was and Jackson jumped into the booth next to him

  "Whoa, hey there! So, I guess everything is okay now?" he laughed

  "We're gonna move to Toronto to live with you!"

  "You are?" he asked, looking at you for confirmation

  "Not right away," you corrected, "we have some stuff to sort out first but yes, eventually we'll be there with you. As a family" Freddie smiled in return at the idea of the three of you being a family

  “Perfect” he said and you couldn’t help yourself; that happy little grin on his face made it near impossible not to want to kiss him, so you leaned over your son and pressed your lips to his before your son tried to pushed the two of you apart

  “EW MOM, DAD, DON’T BE SO GROSS!” he whined and you smiled against Freddie’s lips

  “Dad?” he whispered and you could see the pride cover his face

  “Dad” you whispered back

  “I like the sound of that” he smiled, sitting back in the booth and bringing Jackson into his lap and for the first time in a long time, you could picture your life with Freddie and Jackson.

xx

2 Years Later

  “MY BABY BOY!” Charlotte greeted Jackson outside of the large, stone castle that you were to be marrying Freddie in a few hours

  “GRAMMA C!” he exclaimed, running to her so she could pick him up

  “Hey, Charlotte” you smiled, hugging her when she put down your son

  “Hi, sweetheart,” she said in your ear, “how are you feeling? You ready?”

  “Yeah..” you smiled to yourself, “I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life. Nothing has ever felt so right”

  “Why aren’t you upstairs?” she asked and you laughed

  “Jackson kept running around the castle and I didn’t want him to break anything so I told him that you were on your way and we should head out front to meet you,” you admitted, “so we came out here...”

  “It’s okay to be nervous,” she said, directing you back through the large wooden doors, “but he loves you and you love him and you’ve been waiting for this for a very long time. So have we” she laughed, guiding you back inside so you could get ready; draping your beautiful A-line Chiffon dress with a long train and a plunging neckline with a crystal encrusted v-neck back and buttons trailing your lower spine. You couldn’t help but spinning around to test the move-ability of the dress when Valdemar walked through the door

  “Oh sorry,” he stumbled nervously, “I didn’t mean to interrupt, I’ll ju--”

  “Valdemar, it’s alright,” you laughed, “come on in. I was just testing the dress”

  “You look beautiful” he cooed

  “Thank you” you replied

  “I was told to bring you this,” he said as he handed you an envelope, “it’s from Freddie” you chuckled when you finally looked at the envelope, seeing your soon-to-be husband’s handwriting

  “Thank you, Valdemar. Wait!” you said, stopping him before he left, “I have something for him to” you handed him your note and gave him a kiss on the cheek before he walked out of the room; leaving you in a separate part of the suite than your bridesmaids. As you read his note, all you could think was, I should’ve read this before I got my makeup done

  “Ready?” a voice asked you from across the room and you took a deep breath, turning to find Amalie standing by the door

  “I’m ready.” As you walked down the aisle, you noticed a smile glow brightly on his face and the same one was reciprocated on yours

  “We come now to the words Freddie and (Y/N) want to hear the most today,” the Officiant started, “the words that take them across the threshold from being engaged to being married. A marriage, as most of us understand it, is a voluntary and full commitment. It is made in the deepest sense to the exclusion of all others, and it is entered into with the desire and hope that it will last for life. Before you declare your vows to one another, I want to hear you confirm that it is indeed your intention to be married today. Frederik, do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to (Y/N) in marriage? If so, answer ‘I do.’”

  “I do” Freddie smiled and the Officiant continued

  “(Y/N), do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Frederik in marriage? If so, answer ‘I do.’”

  “I do” you whispered back with a smile

  “Frederik and (Y/N), having heard that it is your intention to be married to each other, I now ask you to declare your marriage vows. Please face each other and hold hands,” the Officiant directed, “Frederik, please repeat after me… I, Frederik, take you, (Y/N) to be my wife”

  “I, Frederik, take you, (Y/N) to be my wife” he repeated

  “I will share my life with yours and build our dreams together” the Officiant continued

  “I will share my life with yours and build our dreams together”

  “Support you through times of trouble and rejoice with you in times of happiness”

  “Support you through times of trouble and rejoice with you in times of happiness”

  “I promise to give you respect, love and loyalty”

  “I promise to give you respect, love and loyalty”

  “This commitment is made in love, kept in faith, lived in hope and made new every day of our lives“

  “This commitment is made in love, kept in faith, lived in hope, and made new every day of our lives.” It was then your turn to repeat the same vows and then continued with the ring exchange until it was finally time to announce your new relationship

  “I am pleased to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Andersen!” you smiled before you opened your mouth in surprise and turning to Freddie

  “We’re married!” you replied

  “We are” he returned as the two of you made your way back down the aisle into the castle. The reception was everything you didn’t know you wanted and Freddie got all of his Danish traditions that the two of you had discussed during all the months of planning and it was perfect. You danced all night, you drank too much and sang call and response songs with the guests, you spent most of the night in a pair of fuzzy slippers that Freddie surprised you with and you made sure to get as many pictures with everyone as possible; but the most important thing to you was that Jackson and Freddie were by your side

  “My two beautiful boys. My lovely men. I love you both so much. SO MUCH!” you drunkenly slurred as you kissed each of their cheeks

  “I think it’s time you get some water” Freddie smirked

  “That sounds good”

  “Mom?” Jackson asked as Freddie made his way to the bar to grab you a glass

  “Yeah?” you asked, moving his soft hair behind his ear

  “What happens now?”

  “You really like that question, don’t you?” you laughed, just as Freddie returned with an almost overflowing glass of water

  “Here you go, Elske” he said and kissed your forehead before taking his seat next to you

  “Thank you, husband” you cooed, leaning in for a kiss

  “You’re welcome, wife” he smiled before kissing you softly

  “Baby, to answer your question,” you turned your attention back to Jackson, “what happens now is that we start our life together. As our own little unit, our little family. We’ll go on adventures, you’ll go to more games and we’ll all celebrate the wins together and cope with the losses together. It doesn’t matter because we’ll all be together”

  “Does that sound good?” Freddie asked and Jackson nodded. You directed them out onto the dance floor for one final dance before Charlotte and Ernst had agreed to take Jackson upstairs so he could get some sleep. Guests started to make their way to you to say goodbye and, before long, it was just you and Freddie left alone in the ballroom

  “Hey,” you whispered as his fingers traced along your thigh, “wanna dance?”

  “Yeah” he whispered back before bringing your face to his, kissing you slowly but intensely. You tucked yourself close to his body, letting his heartbeat guide your movements before you were left alone in silence, not realizing everyone had cleared out. “Can you believe that we get to spend the night in a castle?”

  “Can you believe we’re married?” you giggled, your head still resting on his chest

  “I can,” he admitted with a laughed, “I just can’t believe it took us this long”

  “Good things come to those who wait” you teased

  “Yes they do”

  “I love you, husband”

  “I love you, too, wife.”

[mercy-burning]

I Felt A Burning (Songbird Chapter 3)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: As it turns out, distance makes the heart grow fonder. Reader finds herself missing Spencer while he’s away, so the two of them find unique ways to spend time with one another. Rating: 18+ Warnings: Smut (penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk, male and female masturbation, squirting), Language Word Count: 6.3k

SERIES MASTERLIST SERIES PLAYLIST (new songs added with the release of each new chapter)

NOTE: Sorry this is a little late.. This series is giving me a rough time at the moment, so I’ll probably need a little time to work out some of the kinks (pun intended?) but I’m still very excited to share the rest with you, because I do think it’s going to end up being one of my favorite things I’ve ever written!

So, this month I’m going to take some time to work on requests for my 1k celebration (More info on that here if you want to check it out and send in some requests), and once they’re all complete, I’ll come back to Songbird! It’s not technically on hold, but chapter updates will probably stay pretty spread out while I try to make each one the best they can be 🥰

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

***

"I've never seen him this attached to his phone, it's almost like he's a whole different person."

I don't think JJ realized I could hear her, and she probably thought I wasn't paying attention. To be fair, I wasn't paying that much attention. But I had to be cautious; As much as I loved texting with Y/N, I knew what my friends would do if they found out the nature of our conversations. Or that I was texting a woman outside of a professional setting... Or that I was texting a woman at all.

"I wonder who could have him that caught up," I heard Emily say.

Deciding to take matters into my own hands, I spoke up, keeping my eyes locked on my screen. "Her name is Sudoku. It's something to do to pass the time."

"Oh, so he is alive," Emily quipped, and everyone laughed. I even let out a little smile. "Why invest money in a smartphone when you don't even like the technology? I mean, you can buy puzzle books for like a dollar a piece, anyway..."

The first time Y/N texted me a... rather scandalous photo of herself, I'd ended up having to wait until I got home, transferring and downloading the file to my computer there because I couldn't get it on my phone. And then she called me and said that if we were going to do this properly I needed to be able to see the photos while I was away, otherwise there wouldn't be a point.

And the funny thing was, I didn't hesitate to purchase a smartphone immediately after we hung up.

I have to say, it was really handy. Sure, it was still taking some getting used to. And I much preferred my old phone, but getting to experience these rather adventurous text exchanges with her made it all worth it.

"Endless puzzles on the free app is much cheaper than buying a new book every few days. It's not bad," I finally said.

Just as Derek mentioned something about Penelope finally 'bringing me to the dark side', my phone buzzed in my hand and my heart buzzed in my chest.

The rest of the team talked amongst themselves, leaving me to 'my game' and I was glad to have a cover.

But when I opened the message and saw the photo Y/N sent me, I felt like the most obvious person in the world. Surely there was no way that no one else didn't know what I was looking at, right? Because I felt my face get hot, and something equally warm stirred in my lower stomach.

Shifting my bag over my lap just in case, I swallowed and examined the photo further.

The camera framed her body from the top of her mouth to her chest. She was completely bare, her bottom lip formed in a pout and saliva leaking out and down her chin. My eyes followed the trail down to her exposed breasts, where a round, red lollipop was covering her right nipple. I could barely see her piercing from behind it.

My phone buzzed again with another photo attachment, this time revealing a different angle. The lollipop was positioned right above her clit, just barely touching it, and looked like she was dripping wet. Immediately I wondered whether or not she'd touched herself with the lollipop, and if so, had she tasted herself on the candy? What did it taste like? Would she be willing to let me try when I landed and could finally see her again?

My phone buzzed a third time, and it almost scared me. This time it was just a text: I hope you appreciated those. It was far less sexy to take them than you'd probably think. Definitely more sticky, too. Gonna take a shower. Might send you some more, if you can handle it. —Stranger

I tried not to smile too hard, fully aware of my friends on the other side of the jet, and texted back as discreetly as I could: I always appreciate the effort. As for what I can handle, you'll come to find I'm full of surprises.

It didn't take long for a response to show up: Well, I'll just have to test that out when you come back to me, won't I, Doc?

My breath caught, and I don't think I'd ever wished for the plane to land faster than I did at that moment. I thought about asking when we were expected home, but figuring that might be a little more suspicious, I thought better of it and decided to wait it out.

I messaged her back: Text you when we land, and then pulled up the Sudoku puzzle app to keep myself busy until I could see her in person.

***

Maybe it was a little ridiculous dressing up for someone when they were just going to take it off of you almost immediately after walking through the door, but for one thing, I needed to wear something while I waited for him to get here.

And for another, it made me feel sexy, and in the end that's all I needed to know.

I wore a matching white lace bra and underwear set with high stockings. It was simple, but as I'd learned over the past month, Spencer really liked white on me. So I knew this was a good option, even if ultimately he didn't care what I wore (or didn't wear). To leave it a little surprise, I threw on a robe and read on the couch until he would text me.

But even as my book was open in my lap, my eyes didn't scan the pages. Instead I stared off into space, thinking about what a month it had been.

A whole month, and everything was going great. Not that I expected it to be awful or anything, but over time, even though Spencer and I had strictly been sleeping together without any strings, every time he was gone I felt like something was missing.

It confused the hell out of me.

And not because he wasn't worth missing—that actually wasn't the case. It was the fact that I was the one missing him at all that confused me. I mean, it was obvious from the beginning of our sexual relationship that I was willing to break a few rules of mine just to be around him, but... Feeling these things so soon? Missing his presence when he wasn't near me?

It was all so unfamiliar and completely different from any relationship I'd been in before, and a large part of me wanted to stop it all together. But really, I knew that was ridiculous, because nothing was wrong. He always respected my wishes, he made me feel good, and he was always kind and reassuring. He even bought a brand new fucking phone just so we could sext while he was away. It was obvious that he would have done a lot for me, and for the sake of keeping our arrangement steady... And from the little I did know about him, he seemed like the type of person who would be totally understanding about any issue I had, whether it was of a sexual nature or not.

Simply put, he was perfect.

So why did I not want to let him in? Why was it so fucking hard for me to believe that I could actually date him like a normal person and be okay?

Maybe I just needed to take things slow. I could do that, right?

Yeah. I totally could.

When he got here, the first matter of business, of course, would be to have sex with him. Because he'd been away for almost a week now, and the whole time we texted back and forth about all the things we wished we could do to each other. And his job was stressful, so whenever he came back he liked to relieve some of that stress, which I was more than willing to give him. No matter my conflicted feelings, our arrangement was so solid that I had no doubts about what would happen the second he walked through my door.

And then, when it was all over, he would leave. He always did, even if I sometimes asked him to stay until I fell asleep. But maybe tonight I could tell him to stay and fall asleep with me instead. That would be a good first step, right? I could explain how he must be exhausted from work and travelling, so he should just rest and I would be willing to let him sleep in bed beside me.

Yeah. That was a good plan.

Except, what would I do in the morning, then? Would everything be awkward? Would he get up before me and leave before I even woke up? And if that was the case, would he leave another note? Maybe he would still be asleep when I woke up, and then I could make him breakfast or something. Mayb—

My phone went off beside me, snapping me out of my excessive thinking. Thank God...

I read the text with a smile forming as soon as I saw his name at the top of the screen: Be at your place in 20 minutes.

After sending back a winking-face emoji, I set my phone on the table and put the book next to it. And then I took a deep breath and reminded myself to take it easy. Everything was going to be just fine.

Everything was going to be just fine.

I must have repeated it to myself over and over until he actually showed up, because it felt like only a minute had passed before a knock sounded at the door.

"It's me!" Spencer called out, and my heart raced.

Even as I strode over to the door, I couldn't seem to slow the fast pace of my heartbeat. And when I opened the door to see him with a brighter-than-the-sun smile, I thought it might completely burst out of my chest.

"Hey, Stranger," I whispered, stepping aside to let him in. As soon as the door closed, he leaned in to kiss my cheek, and I couldn't resist. I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine, kissing him deeply and with as much care as I could convey. He dropped his bag and melted into me completely, wrapping his arms around my lower back and pulling me closer to him. In turn I melted into him, sighing into his mouth.

I couldn't tell you how long we stayed like that, standing at the front door and making out like he'd just come back from war. It felt like it could have been forever, but however long it was, I couldn't have cared any more or less. It was perfect.

His hands slid down my back and splayed over the curve of my ass, making me laugh against his mouth. I felt him smile before he pulled away just a little, just enough to keep our noses touching.

"I missed you," he said simply, though with those three words alone it felt like it was complex and enduring enough to chip away at the walls I put up.

And strangely I didn't mind. When he was here, touching me, smiling at me, speaking to me, I felt... serene. It was like the stillest water you could imagine—no ripples, no waves... Just clear water, so still it was like a horizontal mirror.

"Missed you more," I drawled out, running my hands through his hair and rubbing my nose against his. "I even wore something special."

"You did?" he mused, running his hands back over my back and then around to the front of the robe I'd put on over my lingerie. He probably already noticed the stockings, unless he was just as blindsided as I'd been by the fact that we were finally together again that he didn't actually notice. But either way, his whole body went still when he pulled my robe away and took me in. I anchored myself to him by holding his hands, studying his face as it looked me up and down and grew stronger with desperation with every passing second.

"You like it?" I finally asked.

The mood almost completely shifted when he met my eyes. I could have sworn they grew darker.

"I like you," he breathed, right before he reached forward, grabbing my face with both his hands, and kissing me again. This time it was primal, every nerve in my body going numb at the way he practically consumed me. It was all hands and tongue and teeth and warmth.

I clutched onto his shirt, pulling his body closer to mine as I was desperate to be connected to him on every physical level. A gravelly moan slipped my mouth when he reached behind my head and lightly tugged at the roots of my hair, to which he tugged a little harder. I returned the favor, using my other hand to mirror the hair pulling he was performing on me, and he groaned almost as intensely as I did.

I didn't even know we were at the kitchen table until I was sitting on it, my legs instinctively wrapping around Spencer's waist and my arms doing the same to his neck. His tongue slipped into my mouth with ease, just like it had a million times before. And it was just as intoxicating.

He moved his hand to my back, sliding around the clasp of the bra before he paused and pulled away, studying my face. I wasn't sure what he was thinking, but with the way his hands slid over my body like they were merely exploring, I had a feeling it was going to work out in my favor.

"You got all dressed up just for me, I'd feel bad to make you take it off," he mused, finally letting his eyes roam the length of my body.

"Whatever are we going to do about that," I mused right back, biting my lip when he met my eyes again.

His lips twitched into a smirk for a brief second before he moved his hands to unbuckle his pants. "I guess you'll just have to keep them on while I fuck her right here on the table."

I couldn't help the excited whimper that came out of my mouth as I leaned back on my hands and waited for him to get situated. My hand drifted to my panties, sliding them aside and dipping my middle finger through my pussy. "Did you like the pictures I sent you?"

I knew his answer was yes, but I wanted to get him more excited, and it seemed to do the trick—I could have sworn I saw his hands move faster, finally pushing his pants down as he took a step closer to me.

"Y/N, I have an eidetic memory, which basically means that I remember everything I see. Those pictures? They've been burned into my brain since I saw them, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about how badly I wanted to be with you again."

Each and every word fell heavy with this burning desire that set my whole body aflame. Added to the way he looked at me with the same intensity, it was practically the perfect formula for my destruction. And the fact that he could just vividly remember everything I sent him? Every picture, every time he saw me in the flesh—desperate for him... God, it was all so fucking exciting. And that was putting it lightly, because no words could ever have been beautiful or poetic enough to describe the way this man made me feel.

It all must have been written all over my features, because Spencer stared down at me and hummed amusedly His hands reached out to spread my legs by my knees, his touch sending shivers all throughout my body.

I reached out to grip his dick, slowly stroking it as I bit my lip and blinked up at him. "You have no idea how much I missed you this week," I got out, barely above a whisper.

"Oh, I think I do," he answered, right before he stepped forward and slid my panties aside. We both moved together then, me leaning forward to meet him as he brought his hips forward and ran his dick slowly along the opening of my pussy. He slapped it gently over my clit a few times, making me whimper out again which in turn made him smile a little. "How bad do you want it, pretty girl?"

"I want it bad," I answered simply, my voice low and on the verge of begging.

He seemed happy with that answer, a low hum coming from his throat in approval as he ran the tip of his dick through me again. And when he pushed it in just slightly, I wiggled under him in anticipation."

"Eager, are we?" he mused, stilling and bringing his thumb to gently circle my clit.

I threw my head back with an exasperated sigh that I only slightly truly meant in earnest. "Hell yeah, I'm eager. You promised to fuck me on the table, so when are you gonna deliver?"

Without another word, he slammed forward into me, and I gasped out, already falling apart at the burning I felt throughout my whole body.

"You're gonna regret being impatient, you know," Spencer grumbled, though the way I knew I had him practically wrapped around my finger told me that his threat was nothing more than a string of words that would fray and unravel into nothing once I got a tug on it.

And tug on it I did. Because he may have been the one currently obliterating me on my kitchen table, but the second I started talking, I knew he'd be just as ruined—maybe even a little more, though at the very least it would be an even playing field.

So I clenched around him as he continued fucking me at a brutal pace, spreading my legs wider and moaning out maybe a little too dramatically. "Oh, you've missed this tight little cunt, haven't you, baby boy?"

His arms wrapped around my legs and he scooted me closer, giving him a deeper angle inside me as a strangled moan rolled past his lips and his eyes almost rolled back. "Fuck, Y/N, I..."

As the words struggled to come out, I laughed, puffing my chest out and tilting my head to the side. "That's right... That's fuckin' right..."

It really didn't take long for either of us to reach orgasm, between our banter and the sheer force at which he drove into me while I clenched around him every so often, matching his rhythm perfectly despite how staggered everything was becoming with every passing second.

"Fuck, Spence, that's it," I breathed, reaching a hand out to graze his stomach with my fingertips. "I'm gonna cum..."

"Me, t— shit..."

Feeling him spill over inside me as I came around him reminded me just how much I missed having him with me, because no matter how good I made myself feel with a vibrator while he was away, nothing ever compared to that feeling; How full he made me feel, how tingly I felt when he moaned out my name, how warm his hands were as they gripped my skin to keep himself steady as he just fucking gave it all to me until there was nothing left... It was all so intense that I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to recover.

Which was why, even after he pulled out of me, I laid back on the table completely, letting my legs dangle off. My eyes closed as I tried to catch my breath and eventually I let out a breathy laugh.

"Fuck, man, maybe we should spend time apart more often, because that was..."

The weight of what I'd said didn't even really hit me until his phone started to ring, and I remembered my plan, that spending time apart was actually what I didn't want and I was supposed to tell him to stay...

I sat up and watched as he grabbed his phone from the pocket of his pants, which were on the floor. He pulled them up with him as he stood up again, murmuring a quick 'sorry' to me before taking the call.

I could see his ants were struggling to stay up, so I reached out and grabbed him by the belt loop, pulling him to me and buttoning his pants up for him as he spoke.

"Yeah, Hotch?" he said, smiling down at me because of what I was doing. I smiled right back with a wink, fixing up and straightening out his pants before I saw his smile falter.

A ball of disappointment started to roll in the pit of my stomach as I heard Spencer say, "Oh..." rather sadly. If I had to take a guess, he was probably being called into work again so soon, and once again I would be left alone.

"O—Okay, I'll be right in," he said, confirming my suspicions. Once he said goodbye, He put his phone back in his pocket and smiled at me apologetically. "Sorry I have to leave so soon, I was hoping to spend at least a little more time together before I left."

And I was kind of hoping I'd ask you to stay... "Oh, it's okay... I guess... absence makes the heart grow fonder?"

We both laughed a little, though it was clear the mood was still a bit dismal. So to lighten it I sat up a bit straighter and smirked, spreading my legs a little and feeling his cum slowly drip out. "Well, why don't you take a picture or two? Something to remember me by?"

I could tell he appreciated the playfulness I put forth, but he didn't take his phone out. "That's the thing about having an eidetic memory, I won't need a picture. Anytime I want, I can just remember you like this. Plus, I won't risk anyone else seeing anything."

I scoffed with a smile. "Please... I would hope you aren't looking at the pictures I send you in a room full of your colleagues."

"I don't. But I do work with a bunch of profilers, all of whom would just love to tease me until the end of time if they ever discovered what I was doing with you in my free time."

I was going to say something, but he cut me off, stepping forward and bringing his hand down to brush against the inside of my thigh. "But, if it'll make you feel better... I can give you something to remember me by..."

"What's that?" I breathed out, looking up at him as his hand travelled to my pussy.

He dipped his middle finger inside of me and felt around, leaning forward until his lips were barely brushing mine. My whole body seemed like it was going to crumble down at any given second, when he spoke quietly. "A taste."

"Of... what?"

He brought his finger out of me and brought it to my lips, and I took it in without even thinking. I groaned around him as he spoke again, his gaze unwavering and downright life-ruining. "Us. This is what we taste like together... A perfect harmony. Don't you think?"

I wanted to tell him that he wouldn't know because he hadn't actually tasted it himself, but the whole thing was so fucking hot that I didn't even bother arguing. I just sat there, whining around his finger as he all but stared into my soul.

His finger slipped out of my mouth and ran along my chin as he tilted it up. "I want you to clean yourself up just like that. You can send me a picture when you're done so I can see, yeah?"

"And... What if I don't?"

Spencer smiled knowingly, taking one more swipe of his finger through me before bringing it to his own lips, sucking it clean like anyone would have with food, and stepping back from me completely. "You will."

He left, and I could have sworn I felt my soul leave my body.

***

I'm not sure where that came from, exactly. But Y/N had brought out this other side of me that was almost jarring as much as it was sexy. She was everything seductive and enticing that the world had to offer, and it fueled me in a way I couldn't explain. In fact, I was almost positive she wouldn't send any pictures, because what the hell kind of request was that? I certainly never would have thought of it before, but she gave me all these filthy thoughts and ideas that I never would have been able to dream up otherwise.

Which, precisely, is why I was second-guessing everything. I focused on what work we had to do, of course, but once we were settled in on the jet and on our way to the next city, I brought out my phone to text her.

But I wasn't sure what I would say. I'd have to find a way to apologize, of course, in case my request had been too weird, and that I definitely should have asked her if she was okay with me telling her what to do like that. I knew about dominant and submissive dynamics in sex of course, but that's not the type of relationship we had. And, to be completely honest, if anyone was going to be the dominant role in that dynamic, it most definitely would have been her. While I could be confident and somewhat in control when we had sex, and while sometimes she took on a rather submissive approach to our sessions and I found myself deeply turned on by that, I was not confident in my dominant side. I never could take full control like that, and with some of the things I've seen and experienced from Y/N, that role was definitely better suited for her than me.

But in the end it all came down to us trying new things. Or... rather, me trying new things. I figured she was way more experienced than me from the beginning, and that still remained true, though by the reaction I've had from her a few times, especially after tonight, it seemed I'd shaken her up a bit.

Whether that was a good thing or not would be dependent on how this conversation went.

I turned on my phone to see that I had three photos and one video attachment. My heartbeat picked up immediately, and I quickly shut it off to compose myself, already having a feeling of what might be there.

About a minute later, I got up to use the bathroom while everyone was catching up on some sleep. This was a bit of a longer flight than we were used to, so it kind of worked in my favor. But just to be safe, I snuck in the earbuds that came with the phone as well.

Once the door was shut, I leaned back against it and plugged in the earbuds, simultaneously trying to navigate through the phone to get to my messages. And once I was situated, I put the earbuds in and looked at the pictures first.

The first one could only be described as a 'before' photo, showcasing her pussy exactly how I left it, and that alone was enough to start a stirring in stomach. I examined the picture intently, feeling myself grow harder in my pants, and I knew this was dangerous. But somehow that made it all the more exciting. It was a good thing I decided to stay in the bathroom.

The second photo showed Y/N's middle and pointer fingers spreading herself wide, everything exposed and glistening. I looked at that one longer, but the third one took me out and made me slump my head against the door with a soft groan. She was pouting slightly, her bottom lip dripping with what was obviously the cum I'd left her with. I didn't even want to watch the video, because I knew once I did I'd be a goner. I didn't even know exactly what it would be, but it didn't matter, because no matter what Y/N did she would tear down every defense I had. Everything I thought I knew, my ability to think straight, all of it would be gone with one word—Hell, one look.

I managed to take a deep breath before opening the video and adjusting the volume. And knowing it was probably going to do some damage to me, I stood in front of the toilet, making sure the door was locked before taking my dick out of my pants and slowly starting to stroke it.

Through the screen, I saw that Y/N had repositioned the camera so that I had a full-body view of her on her kitchen table. I wasn't sure how she was able to keep her phone propped up or where it was, but as she started to move, I didn't really care one way or the other.

"I've already sent you some pictures, which I hope you looked at first, but I figured this would be... better proof," she was saying, her legs spreading wide so I had a perfect view of everything. She brought her hand down to circle her clit a few times, and the longer she went on, the louder and more obscene the sounds were.

"Fuck," I breathed as quietly as I could, taking everything in as my hand worked my dick a little faster. I could have watched her do just that forever.

But she went the next step, plunging two fingers inside herself and pumping them in and out slowly. Every once in a while she removed her hand and cleaned off her fingers, looking into the camera and burning a hole straight through me as she moaned.

"You're right," she said, scooping up more of our mess and spreading it around. "We do taste perfect. I think I'm gonna savor it for a while... Take my time."

Her fingers were torturously slow, and even though she taunted, I knew it was killing her, because it was written all over her face—her whole body, really. As her face contorted and her body seemed to shake, I wanted to tell her through the phone that she could go faster, that she didn't have to make it this hard, but I couldn't. All I could do was watch, and listen as she fingered herself and all of it was burning me up from the inside out.

By the time two minutes had passed, it looked like my cum was gone, but she was still going, determined to bring herself to release another time. Her fingers moved fast and hard, the glorious wet sounds combining symphonically with her moans and whimpers. As I could see her getting close, it was like I was there with her, feeling myself get there as well. I knew it wouldn't be long now, though I wished we could have done this forever. And if I was being honest with myself, I was probably going to do this more than once as long as we were still seeing each other.

What happened next surprised me, because... well, simply put, I wasn't expecting it. And I don't think she was either, because the pure blissful shock that plastered over her features as she tensed and squirted almost sent me into cardiac arrest.

I came then, trying desperately to keep quiet as I took in the image of Y/N coming undone right with me.

I was catching my breath when she sighed out with a smile and a laugh. She looked exhausted, but completely blissful and serene all the same as she spoke. "Fuck, I didn't expect that... But next time it happens, I want you here with me. Got it, Stranger?"

Although she couldn't hear me, I responded with a light, yet truly sincere, "Yes, Ma'am."

***

The studio had been empty for hours, and nothing ever made me happier. Truthfully, it was always my favorite part of the work day, when I went in early, when the sun was still below the horizon and almost everyone was still asleep. That was when I felt most creative, and after about two hours of messing around on the piano and acoustic guitar, I was still going strong.

Maybe I had Spencer to blame for that. For a week now he'd been gone, extremely busy with work, and I didn't get to see him in person, but we sent texts and pictures and videos all the time. Just last night we even video-chatted for a good three hours before he inevitably had to return to his job. And while I missed him, if anything I think the distance was good. Because while we spent time communicating, I was also able to focus on work and myself, and I didn't constantly have to worry about things moving too fast. Things couldn't move fast if there wasn't any physical contact, right?

I mean, sure, At this point I was practically craving his touch and his presence, but I knew that once we did get to see each other again, it would be practically electric. There was so much we'd talked about over the phone that we would probably have enough to keep us busy until he got called away again. And then the cycle would repeat.

But maybe that was wishful thinking. I liked this system, even if we hadn't really been at it for long. All I knew, though, was that it was currently working, and I was feeling incredible about my life in its current state.

I wished it could have stayed that way forever.

By the time Jules walked in, I'd written about two songs and was currently working on a third. The studio was littered with sticky-notes and notebook paper from all the ideas I had, and she shrugged off her thin jacket with a laugh. "How many songs has it been today?"

I set the guitar down and went to pick up some of the notes, organizing them haphazardly. "Two. Working on a third."

"Damn, Y/N, you've been on a roll this week. Hell, all month. So... Who's the inspiration?"

Shoving some of the notes into a folder, I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Jules sat down at the large coffee table in the middle of the room and spread out, shaking her head slightly to the side to removed the auburn bangs from her eyes. "I'm a musician, too, Y/N, I know when inspiration strikes, and I especially know when it's because of a certain someone. So... Who are they?"

I hesitated saying anything, but Jules was right, and there was no way I'd be able to convince her nothing in particular was happening. So, I tried to keep it as vague as possible. "Oh, uh, this guy I met at a bar at open mic night."

She whistled as I took a seat across from her. "Damn... The sex must be pretty good if you're cranking out songs like an industrial machine."

I felt heat rise to my cheeks, but I nodded all the same. "Well, you'd be right. It's, uh... it's going pretty well."

"I'll say, you're practically glowing. Good for you, babe."

I could tell she wanted to say more, ask tons of questions (more specifically, when's the wedding?), but she knew me enough to refrain. She knew how I did with relationships, and she knew just how private I was. On multiple occasions she'd ask me why I was a musician if I didn't like sharing my personal life with people, but I'd always retorted with a simple truth: You didn't have to show anything to anyone if you didn't want to. There were thousands of different things to write about, and the beauty of storytelling was that you could create whatever you wanted, no matter how true it was to you.

As the day went on, and more of the writers for our friend's new album came in to work, I was pulled out of the 'relationship' headspace and plunged into work.

Honestly, I was relieved. Not because I didn't like thinking about Spencer, but the exact opposite.

That feeling wasn't something I was used to, and I wanted it to go away. At least while I was working, so I could focus on one thing at a time. I didn't let people in, and I didn't want to let them in if I could help it, and I certainly didn't like when things moved too fast, which they always seemed to do. And this time was no different, only now I think it was me who was starting to feel things too early.

It was searing. It was slowly starting to consume me, burning me from the inside out, and I didn't know what to do.

So I did the only think I did know how to do, and that was ignore it, replacing it with music, the one true comfort I'd ever known. I drowned myself in the cool ocean of work, merely hoping it would be enough to quell the frantic, petrifying, and rapidly growing wildfire that would surely be my downfall. And for a while it seemed like it was working.

And yet, somehow, by the time I left the studio, there was a dull ache in my chest that left me confused and scared.

Suddenly I was glad for that night we'd been interrupted before I asked him to stay, and that I never got the chance to follow through. I don't know what I would have done then. Because if that feeling, when he inevitably agreed and stayed the night, was anything like how I was feeling now, then it probably would have been a lot worse.

All the same, I came to the realization that no matter what I did or didn't do, he would always be there, taking up some amount of space in my being that refused to let go.

Whether I liked or not.

***

“I knew it when you looked my way That I’d be begging you to stay. I couldn’t say it to myself.

I felt a burning in the way I held on when you pulled away. I couldn’t say it to myself.

—Maggie Rogers, Say It

SERIES TAGLIST: @meowiemari @secretsilockaway​

Tags not working: @bluesunrise02 @teenwolfgirl90 

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction | Revealing Your Child [Request]

A/N: @akakasvx​ I hope this is okay for you! I know you said misbehaving but I already had a scolding your child one so I thought I would try to make things different.

Seokjin:

You and Jin already had another son together but when he was born you kept him hidden away for a while, deciding together that it would be better to spend more time together as a family before announcing him to the media and Army but it hadn't worked out that well. Many people didn't agree with the way you had handled things and thought it would be better announcing your child right away instead of waiting as you had done before. So this time it was different, a week after coming home from the hospital with your daughter, you, Jin and your son all get ready to do a family VLive to show Army you new daughter and talk to them about her.

"What do you think of your little sister?" Jin questioned, he was reading questions as fast as he could but the chat was moving way too fast for you to keep up with so you had no idea how Jin was managing it.

"She's so small and cute," You smiled at your son who was currently holding his baby sister in his arms, he was only five so you and Jin were both watching him carefully.

"I'll protect her when she's older, uncle Namjoon told me I have to protect her." You held back a giggle as you remembered the conversation they'd had one day, you walked in to find Joonie telling your son all the tricks to being an older brother as well as the responsibilities that came along with it.

"Do you want more younger brothers or sisters?" You asked as you took your sleeping daughter back into your arms and rocked her a little,

"Yes! I want a big family, with 10 little sisters and 5 brothers." You choked on the air you were inhaling and Jin started laughing so hard that the phone was shaking.

"T-That's- No," You laughed making your son laugh but you were sure he had no idea why he was laughing along with you, he just didn't want to feel left out of the fun you and Jin were having.

"Any more questions?" You asked Jin, trying to skip over the 15 more kids that your son wanted you to have, Jin was still laughing in the background while trying to find questions for you all to answer.

Yoongi:

It was your first pregnancy and you'd been blessed with twin boys which at first, seemed daunting but it was fine in the end. You and Yoongi were always making it work and had been for the last four years.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" You asked while nervously staring out of the black SUV window, you were at the airport to take your boys on their first holiday and the placed was filled with cameras. Your son's had only ever been caught on camera once and that was when you were leaving the hospital, all of the other times they would be hidden from cameras. No one was allowed to upload their photos onto the internet and no one was allowed to take photos without explicit permission first. It was all for their privacy but now they were getting older it was harder to hide them from the reporters and so it was time for them to be seen. You were more nervous about it that Yoongi was but you were ready, today wasn't about the cameras. It was about their first-ever holiday.

"They'll be fine, are you?" You nodded and the door slid open to reveal that the main entrance to the airport was flooded with reporters, it reminded you of when the boys or any idol went away on a plane.

"Let's do this," You whispered taking your first son by the hand while Yoongi took your second, they both held hands in the middle and you all walked calmly towards the entrance. Smiling and waving the cameras as you used to when you first started dating Yoongi. The boys kept turning to look at the reporters - fascinated by what was happening around them, while you and Yoongi focussed on keeping them from falling over.

Your child's photos were all over the internet and printed magazines everyone was talking about how they had inherited different aspects, they had Yoongi's eyes but your nose or ears. It really warmed your heart to see everyone talking to the kids well, eve Army who had held off on seeing them for so long was tweeting about how it was worth the wait.

Hoseok:

Your daughter had always wanted to go and see her dad in concert, she knew what he did for a living but the concerts were always so late whenever they had them so you promised to take her to a soundcheck instead. You were waiting backstage with her so she could watch from the side but she was getting agitated about not being able to watch it properly like everyone else. You would have taken her out into the small crowd of people that had gotten soundcheck tickets but she was only 3 and had only been seen by Army a couple of times before this. Hoseok wanted to wait until the right time to reveal her to everybody.

"Wait here princess, Daddy is doing his job." But she was getting to the age where she was too crafty for her own good, she slipped out from the reins you had her on and made a quick escape for the stage. Rushing out and grabbing onto Hoseok's leg as he spoke into the microphone, you stood at the side of the stage not knowing what to do. Hoseok bent down and smiled at everyone in the small crowd.

"I guess now is a good a time as any." He chuckled looking at you and nodding for you to walk towards him. You bent down so you were standing on the other side of your daughter who was now blushing and hiding her face in her dad's arm.

"Do you want to introduce yourself?" Hoseok held the microphone to her lips and she shook her head, hiding further into his arms as everyone ''awe'd'' at her.

"She's a minx, escaping from her reins." Hoseok laughed noticing that they were abandoned at the side of the stage where you had both been standing.

"Do you want dad to sing your favourite song so you can dance?" He questioned and it seemed to brighten up your daughters mood and remove her shyness as she started bouncing up and down and getting ready to play her part.

(If I was Hobi I would have died...I have an irrational fear of anything with wings...)

Namjoon:

This was something that had been asked for by Army for a while now and it was finally happening. A Run episode which was family-themed. Each boy was paired up with their partner and family and you all had to do certain different tasks or challenges together. This was going to be the first time your child - and the other boy's kids - would be shown on camera for a long period of time. They'd all been caught by photographers before but nothing like this, this was a whole camera crew shooting and everyone was going to see your family.

"You're nervous about the episode aren't you?" Namjoon questioned when he caught you watching your son and Jin's son playing together, you weren't nervous as such. You were just worried about putting your son's face all over the internet.

"Not nervous, just-"

"Want him to grow up and have a normal life?" You nodded and Majoon took your head so you would lay it on his shoulder. You knew that not one aspect of his life was going to be normal but you figured you could try and keep it as normal as possible until it could no longer be avoided.

"He'll be fine, I promise." You smiled softly at Namjoon and you both walked over to your son to get ready for the first task together.

"Who can build the best sandcastle, me or you dad?" You questioned your son who, without hesitation, pointed at his father and left you blinking blankly into the camera that had been filming you both.

"Why?" You questioned after a couple of seconds and your son started laughing,

"Because when we're done he lets me destroy them like a monster in a movie." You started laughing as Namjoon shook his head at your son. He'd watched Lilo and Stitch one time and he thought he could be stitch in the scene where he creates his own town to destroy.

Jimin:

Another day another fan signing, you were sitting backstage with your two daughters while you waited for JImin to finish and come backstage to you. Normally you would have waited at home but his schedule had been so jam-packed that he decided to bring you all along with him today. Your first daughter and your 3-month-old daughter who still hadn't been shown to media outlets or fans just yet. You were in the middle of talking to a stylist when you felt your eldest daughter starting to rock the pushchair - this was nothing new since she did this a lot to help her younger sister sleep.

"Can I take her for a walk?" You looked at her and smiled, she was 9 years old and loved taking care of her sister. Walking her around the venue in the pushchair and being a good older sister to her.

"Sure sweetie, do you know which way to go?" She nodded and took off in the direction of a small walkway which led back to you in a large circle, she was great with her.

It wasn't until you heard a bunch of people 'awh'ing' that you realised what was happening, you and the stylist ran towards the curtain that separated backstage to the boys and saw Jimin standing there holding his baby girl and your daughter was sitting on the table looking at fans. You rushed out onto the stage and Jimin chuckled,

"She just wanted to show off her sister, isn't that right?" You daughter nodded and looked up at you. You never could stay mad at her since she had her fathers eyes but you were nervous about what management would have to say about all of this.

"Does anyone have any questions for my girls?" You smiled backing off the stage and leaving the boys and your daughters to do their own thing while you watched from behind the stage. You hoped it wasn't going to be a problem with management since everyone in the room was enjoying in imprompt q&a with Jimin's family.

Taehyung:

You stared down at the Happy Holiday card with a smile on your face, it was the first Holiday card you would be sending out with your new little family on it. Before it was normally just you and Tae, or you, Tae and the boys but this year it was you, Tae and your daughter who was asleep in your arms - dressed up in the cutest little outfit.

"Show me again," Taehyung chuckled as he came into the living room. You handed him one of the cards and he chuckled taking it over to the cupboard you had under the stairs. Inside was filled with memory boxes from your daughter's life already, there was her first pair of shoes and socks that she'd grown out of, as well as her baby wrist band from the hospital.

"She's growing up too fast," You complained as you watched him slid the card into a folder of photographs of her.

"We can always make more." You groaned at the thought of being pregnant again, it wasn't going to happen for a long time. You were still trying to forget the pains of her kicking your ribs at all hours of the night.

The holiday cards had been sent out to family, friends and staff members and some had been sent to fans who had the fan membership with BigHit, all personally signed by both you and Taehyung. Everyone adored the way you had revealed your child to everyone and found it adorable the way she looked in the little costume you'd both picked out for her.

Jungkook:

"One photo and don't get me in it." You groaned to Jimin who was standing at the end of your hospital bed begging for a photo of you, your son and Jungkook altogether as one big happy family.

"You have to be in it, it's a family photo. It's for us anyway," You whined as Jungkook laughed at you being so picky about this. But you looked like you hadn't slept in a week and you'd just given birth four hours ago. You wanted to do nothing but sleep and spend time with your baby, not have a small photoshoot with Jimin and Jungkook. It was your first son and you wanted to spend all the time you could with him and his father before he had to leave again. The camera snapped the photo and you went back to smiling down at your sleeping son, you were enjoying how quiet he was but if he was anything like his dad he was going to be one of the loudest kids on the planet. Not to mention crack headed just like his dad is.

"Shit." You both looked up at Jimin to see what was wrong when your phone started to buzz in your handbag.

"You didn't..." You whispered not even having to look at your phone to realise what Jimin had done. Jungkook took out his phone to check,

"He did." On the screen was a photo on the official BTS twitter, you, your son and Jungkook all sitting together on the hospital bed.

"Manager Sejin is going to have your head on a stick." You laughed looking at the photo, your son wasn't supposed to be revealed for another month to give you time to settle down into your newly found family.

"It was an accident, I meant to send it to the private account and I just slipped." You let out a whine and Jungkook started laughing about it, you were glad he was seeing the funny side of it because you knew his manager wasn't going to.

Tagline: 

@writingdreamsnottragedies​ @yoongisdumplingcheeks​ @snowy-meowl​ @lynnthevirgo​ @jooniesdarlingdimples​ @chimchims-stories-and-tales​ @fan-ati--c​ @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @callingmyangel​ @btsiguess-kpop​ @rjsmochii​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​

[aussiearrow]

Last Name - E. Phantasmo

A/N: Okay wow, this has been in progress for months with so many changes, so many doubts, so many other things. But it's finally here. Thanks to @bitterendbrutalizer for forever listening to my ideas the last few months and encouraging this to see the light of day sooner rather than later.

If you want to be added to the taglist on this please let me know.

This is part of a series called ' Waking Up In Vegas ' , it started out as a 2 part but as things went along it became a 3 part. So hope you guys enjoy it!

Warnings: I curse a lot so there's a few thrown in, alcohol , elp ( yes he's a warning cause look at him)

Last Name - E.Phantasmo x OFC

" Last night I got served a little bit too much of that poison baby. Last night I did things I'm not proud of and I got a little crazy. Last night I met a guy on the dance floor and I let him call me baby. "

Kal walked through the doors of the airport ready to just get this vacation started already. She must have had the week from hell with dealing with terrible people who consistently told her how she should do her job that she's only done for the past 10 years now but since it wasn't what they wanted to hear it was all wrong.

She met up with her group as she gave them all quick hugs.

"The rest of the group should be here soon." Kasey said as she led Kal over to the seat next to her as the two sat down.

"Rest of the group?" Kal asked her with a confused look," I thought it was just going to be me, you, Jay, Toni, Bea, and Juice?"

"It was until Jay over here said it out loud and a certain headbanger overheard followed by an invitation from Juice which than somehow now Will is coming too and Taiji and who knows whatever other club member or Chaos member or former at this point." Kasey said as Jay cheekily looked over at them.

"I'm sorry I got excited." Jay said.

Kal just nodded while she didn't exactly know any of them, she knew of them when she watched New Japan Pro Wrestling every week to see her friends. And sometimes they would be on the show and they seemed like they were a pretty fun group to be around.

"Okay did they say when they should be here? I think I needed to be in Vegas like yesterday." Kal said as the three of them laughed.

It was soon broken up by a loud commotion at the other end of the airport as they all looked over to see the one who Kal knew as Kenta who she met a number of times and got along with greatly. Kenta laughing as he walked away from Taiji who was picking up his suitcase off the floor with a flushed cheeks as a guy who Kal only knew by his wrestling name El Phantasmo stood there watching him and laughing. Will on the other hand made his way over to the group more so Bea.

"And that would be them." Kasey said as she greeted Will and re introduced the two.

"You're the infamous Kal we hear a lot about yet never seen was starting to think they all made you up." Will said with a laugh.

"Hell of an imagination. I'm Riley. This is Taiji and Kenta." Riley said as Kal offered them all a small smile.

"We've met." Kenta said as he offered her a hug that she returned.

"And you held out on us?" Riley said.

"Do you blame him?" Jay said from behind as he stepped forward to greet them.

The whole plane ride was filled with jokes from the group some of which Kal was included in on. Most were ones that Kal never got due to leaving wrestling to pursue her other passion that was slowly making her unhappy now. All the jokes that seemingly came from a certain group of guys.

Kenta sat next to Kal as he always made her feel welcomed in the group of wrestlers as he was the first one she met aside from Jay and Kasey.

"How's work?" Kenta asked her.

"Starting to feel more like a job if you ask me."

"Oof that bad?" Kenta asked as Kal nodded," Well than that is the last mention of work you'll hear from me this weekend?"

"Mention of what?" Kal said as Kenta laughed.

"Exactly." Kenta said.

The rest of the plan ride went more like the first half. As they got off the plane and checked into a hotel almost all of them decided on dinner and bed so that way they can spend the whole day tomorrow doing what they want to do. And just with Kal's luck her room ended up being right next to Riley and Taiji's room.

" And I don't even know his last name. My momma would be so ashamed. It started off,' Hey cutie, where you from?' And than it turned into,' Oh no! What have I done?' And I don't even know his last name. "

They all decided that it was a pretty good idea to meet up for dinner after everyone got settled in. But to no one's surprise Kasey and Jay decided that they were going to do a bit of a date night. Kal had known Kasey for years having went to school together in Florida. And being there the night she met Jay cause she wasn't sure if it was truly him or not.

When they all met up at the restaurant everyone was talking about things they wanted to do things that didn't exactly excite Kal. Her main goal this trip was to hopefully not remember a single thing by the end of it all.

"What about you Kal?" Kenta asked.

"My goal is to forget about anything I did this trip."

"I mean you definitely came to the right place for that." Bea said with a laugh.

"I'm more than okay with doing that, will you be able to hold off until tomorrow?" Will said.

"I can get started alone."

"In Vegas? Absolutely not. Kenta?" Toni said.

"I'm out, for once. I'm actually tired." Kenta said.

Kal sighed as that meant Bea, Toni, Juice, Kenta were out. Kasey and Jay were off doing whatever.

"What about me and Taiji?" Riley said.

"I wouldn't make her go through that. And while I trust Taiji you'll probably end up just as wasted as her and we'll have a hard time finding both of you in the morning." Taiji said.

"Okay what if they both go with me?" Kal said kind of surprised she even entertained the idea even in the slightest.

"I'm down." Riley said as he shot Kal a smile and a wink.

If it wasn't for Taiji agreeing Kal would have taken it all back but she really did want too enjoy her first night here.

"Than it's settled. After this the 3 of us are going to hit the town. You into strip clubs Kal?"

"Absolutely not. At least not the first night." Kal said as they all finished their dinner.

"So what do you expect to do than?" Riley asked Kal as they said their goodbyes to their friends as Riley and Taiji got the run down of making sure that they all come see them for lunch tomorrow since they certainly won't be making breakfast.

"Drink. Don't care where as long as it's not a strip club. I was thinking of starting at that new place that opened up on the strip and I'm just going to let the night tell me where else I should go." Kal said as she turned to look at them.

"We can go there." Taiji said before Riley could even respond as Kal smiled.

"I like you already." Kal said.

"What about me?" Riley said with a slight pout.

"I think I might be still warming up to you. Ask me tomorrow." Kal said as Taiji laughed as the 3 of them headed down the strip.

"Okay please don't lose anyone, not in Vegas at least." Taiji said as they all sat down at a table.

"We won't Bone Daddy." Riley said in a mocking yet playful tone.

"Who calls someone Bone Daddy?" Kal said as she gave them both a confused look.

"Just a running joke about his gimmick." Riley said with a slight shrug.

"Is there a running joke about you?" Kal said as Taiji laughed causing her to look over at him.

"This guy get a nickname that he didn't give himself? Good joke." Taiji said as Kal laughed and Riley shook his head," At least nothing that anyone says to his face."

Riley threw the closest thing on the table at him as Taiji continued to laugh as they put their drink orders in," We can let Kal here come to a decision on whether or not I get a nickname."

"I think I'd much rather join everyone else and keep it behind your back, makes things that much more interesting." Kal said as she smiled slightly when he looked at her as she sipped her drink.

"How did you meet Kenta?" Taiji asked

'"Yeah how? We've been around him for the past 2 years now, heard of you but never saw you." Riley followed up.

"I met him when Jay brought him to be my date cause I was visiting Kasey when he dropped by unexpectedly."

"You don't wrestle?" Taiji asked as Kal shook her head no.

"Trained a little, but at the same time I was pulling for my other dream job. That opportunity came knocking first and spent the last 10 years doing that."

"You don't seem too thrilled about that." Riley said.

"Cause lately I'm not, it started feeling like a job when new people starting coming in pitching ideas that I tried to pitch for years and since they are younger I guess they decided they were going to listen to them all while treating everyone else like shit." Kal said with a sigh remembering the argument that ensued at the office the night before she left.

"So you mentioned a date with Kenta?" Riley said of course bringing it back to her love life.

"Yeah, we hit it off." Kal said blankly as Riley nodded his head the playful look in his eyes slowly going away," As friends."

Taiji raised his eyebrows as another round of drinks came and went as Riley grilled Kal on her life.

"Okay that's enough. I think I entertained you guys enough. We should go back to the hotel so we can get some rest for tomorrow." Taiji said as he stood up.

Kal booed at him but still stood up knowing that he was right, the way she saw it is if she went to bed now she could get an early start tomorrow. Riley on the other hand had completely different plans and if he could just get Kal to look in his direction he could have it play out.

As the group paid and left the bar, Taiji hailed for a cab. Once one pulled up, Riley made it seem like he 'dropped' something and couldn't find it once Taiji got inside. As Kal turned to help Riley out, he waited long enough to the point the cab pulled away.

As Riley pulled his phone out of his pocket," Oops, must have been here the entire time."

"You're a mess." Kal said as she turned back to see the cab now half way down the road.

"Oh no, looks like we missed the cab. I can get us another one." Riley said as Kal heard the totally did that on purpose tone in his voice.

"Or we can go to that other bar?" Kal said with a hopeful tone.

"Lead the way." Riley said das he held his arm out for her to go first as she smiled mischievously as she walked by him and he followed closely behind.

" We left the club, right around three o'clock in the morning. His pinto sitting there in the parking lot. Well it should have been a warning. I had no clue what I was getting into so I blame it on Cuervo. Oh, where did my manners go? "

It only took a couple of more drinks before Kal found herself hanging onto Riley as his hands wrapped tightly around her waist as they left the club at 3 in the morning.

"Do we have to go back to the hotel?" Kal said as she slurred her words a little bit as she pouted up at him.

"Well where else would we go?" Riley said as he looked down at her.

Kal shrugged," We're in Vegas don't people party until like Tuesday or something?"

Riley laughed," I don't think that's the saying but I'm sure we can come up with something." Kal sat there with a pout as she didn't let go of Riley's arm.

"I'm going to need my arm if you want me to find some place we can go." Riley said.

"No you don't, you're talented with just one hand aren't you? You're cocky about everything else so." Kal trailed off slightly as her eyes wondered the strip completely missing Riley's invitation to keep messing around like that and she can find out.

"Okay let's go there's a place down the street and apparently it's one where you have to keep a close eye on whoever you come in with think you can handle that?" Riley asked her as the two began walking.

Kal tucked herself into his side some more, I think I can handle you."

"Not what I asked but good to know." Riley said as he held the door open for her as they walked in.

Neither of them were completely sure when things started but Riley got protective when Kal who said she wouldn't leave that spot while he went to the bathroom ultimately left that spot and found her way to the bar. It took him well over a half hour to get to her and when he saw a hand on the small of her back daring to go a little lower he shoved the guy.

"What the hell man?" The guy said as Kal turned around to see Riley.

"Where did you go? I lost you." Kal said as he took the spot the guy was just in.

"Chris this is my husband, the one I told you about the wrestler that can kick your ass if you touched me again."

"Husband?" Riley said at first as he slowly caught on," Oh. Did you really tell him that?" Kal nodded her head.

"Looking at you now I'm certain that I made a good choice when I decided not to listen." The guy who was named Chris said.

"Well it's a damn shame you don't believe it. And even more of a shame that I'm not out here to try and prove anything to some random mark in Vegas." Riley said as Kal put her hand on his bicep to get his attention as he looked down at the girl who decided that instead of proving by argument decided to plant a kiss on his lips.

Riley was taken by surprise at first and while he may have felt a little buzzed before, he wasn't sure if it was the alcohol that was still fresh on Kal's lips or just her in general that he now was completely over the edge and absolutely drunk.

By the time they pulled away Chris was no longer around and if you asked the two of them they didn't notice much of anyone else either.

Neither of them wanted to say anything to the other about wanting to end the night and possibly go back to the hotel together. So they did the smart thing and continued to bar hop and make out.

It wasn't until Riley pulled away once as he looked down at Kal," So I'm your husband right?" He really meant it as a joke but in their drunken state it was more of a statement.

Kal looked at her left hand as she showed him it," I don't see a ring."

"We can change that I mean we are in Vegas."

" Today I woke up thinking about Elvis somewhere in Vegas, I'm not sure how I got here or how this ring on my left hand just appeared outta no where. I gotta go, take the chips and the pinto and hit the road. They say ' What happens here, stays here, all of this will disappear. There's just one little problem. "

Kal opened her eyes and immediately shut them with a groan as she slowly regained all thoughts from the night before, but sadly got no where when her head once again started to pound.

She looked at the time and sighed, not only did she probably miss breakfast with everyone but lunch too. As she slowly sat up and put her hand on the bridge of her nose.

She was about to get out of bed when she heard the shower turn off as her eyes went wide. Hoping that the walls were just very thin. But when the door opened to Riley walking through with nothing but a towel around his waist.

"What are you doing in my room?" Kal said as she looked at him.

"Good afternoon to you too. You definitely weren't saying that last night or well this morning. Nice chest by the way, happy I get to see it when I'm sort of sober to remember it." Riley said as he smirked.

Kal rolled her eyes as she looked down to see just exactly what he was talking about as she hurried up to cover herself," I've only been in Vegas a day and I'm already making horrible decisions."

"Well if you already made one, than what's the issue with doing it again? Maybe we both can remember it this time." Riley said.

"Well it seems like you also forgot that I said the whole point of this trip was to not remember anything about it, especially this."

"I'm only joking, I'll be over here getting dressed. You might want to call Kasey. Jay called me like 20 times since this morning and when I picked up he said Kasey has been freaking out cause you weren't answering."

"Well did you tell him that you were with me so she wouldn't freak out anymore?" Kal said as she looked up at him.

"Told him that I haven't seen you since you ditched me and Taiji and didn't get in the cab with us last night." Riley said.

"You did not." Kal said as all he did to answer was shrug.

"Guess you'll find out when you call her."

"I hate you so much." Kal said as she searched for her phone.

Once she finally found it she looked at the screen to see 25 missed calls from Kasey as well as a handful of text messages and a few voicemails. Than there was some from Jay and Bea. As she sighed and pushed Kasey's contact.

It took her all of a ring to pick up," Well, well, well look who finally decides to bring herself to answer the phone."

"Ugh please don't be so loud, my head can't take it." Kal said.

"Yeah, Riley told us that once you join the living you'll probably have a massive hangover after last night. Speaking of Riley, care to explain why he was in your room earlier?" Kasey said in a teasing tone.

"I'd rather not talk about it." Kal said as Kasey laughed.

"That's okay, Taiji filled us all in. So when you're doing rolling around in the sheets together and actually want to be with the rest of us we're meeting in the lobby in a half hour to get lunch somewhere."

"I'll be there." Kal said as they said their goodbyes and hung up. As she laid back down and sighed picking up her hand to run it over her face, she gave a weird look when she felt something cold hit her face.

As she pulled her hand away from her face and looked at it. It all seemed normal until she got to her ring finger, one that was just bare last night was now no longer bare.

"No, no, no Fuck. No." Kal began to say as she quickly put a oversized shirt on and went to the bathroom completely forgetting about the man that was still very much in her room.

"Everything alright?" Riley said as he watched Kal wash her face before looking at her hand again before once again repeating what she said before," Woah hey, care to tell me what's going on?"

Kal stopped her string of curse words as she walked over to Riley and took his left hand where a ring also sat on his ring finger. One that matched hers.

"This. This is what's going on." Kal said as she brought his hand up and just about shoved it in his face.

"Well shit." Riley said as she dropped his hand and sat down on the edge of the bed.

Kal felt so many emotions as she put her head in her hands.

"Kal? We got to talk." Riley said.

"No, not right now. Right now what we have to do is get ready and meet up with our friends."

"So you're going to act like this just never happened?" Riley asked, Kal could hear the hurt in his voice.

Choosing to ignore it, " Yeah I am until we can figure out how to make it disappear. But we aren't telling anyone got it?"

"Yeah got it." Riley said as Kal closed the bathroom door just as he sat down on the bed," Lovely wife I got myself." Riley said with a sarcastic tone that was meant to be under his breath but Kal heard it loud and clear as she got in the shower.

" I don't even know my last name. Oh my momma would be so ashamed. It started off,' Hey cutie, where you from?' And then it turned into, ' Oh no! What have I done?' And I don't even know my last name."

[cherryrogers]

➸ call me baby {1/3}

pairing: bucky barnes x reader | biker au

warnings: Smoking, some violence, mild drinking, mainly fluff.

word count: 8.1k

synopsis: Returning to Brooklyn for the summer after a year of travelling from city to city, you hadn’t expected to find your best friend, Peggy Carter, hopelessly in love with a biker. And when she decided to introduce you to the rest of his club, you hadn’t expected to fall for one either. That was until you met one with pretty eyes and habit of calling you baby.

series masterlist

a/n: so this was originally meant to be one long piece, but i’m now splitting it into three parts. if you’d like to be tagged in the second part to this, please let me know !! please enjoy and thank you for reading my loves💓💓

A dark, cherry red shade was swiped carefully across her lips, accentuating the dark eyes staring back at her reflection in the circular mirror placed on top of the small desk she was sat at. Chocolate locks curled with precision, thin silver chains encircling her neck, resting on the cotton of her off-the-shoulder top.

You examined her reflection from your spot, laying on your stomach atop the white bedsheets of your friend’s bed. “You look like a doll, Pegs. Whoever this ‘Steve’ kid is, he’s real lucky.”

The brunette blushed momentarily, popping the lid of her lipstick back onto the tube and setting it aside as she took a final look in the mirror, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. “He is lucky, isn’t he? You weren’t lying when you told me that red lipstick works wonders.”

“Of course I wasn’t; I’d never lie to you.”

Peggy scoffed at that, rising from her seat and placing her hands on her hips. “Oh, you wouldn’t? Was it not a lie when you said you’d be back in Brooklyn for the summer?”

“It’s summer now, isn’t it?”

“Yes, a year after you were meant to be back. You’re a little late, _____.”

A sigh left your lips as you rolled off your stomach, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed to stand up. “I wasn’t lying then either, Peggy. You know if I had the money I’d have gotten a flight straight over to see you.”

Traveling after the summer following high school graduation had always been the plan. College had never been what you wanted, despite all your teachers telling you it was the path that you should follow. Unlike your childhood friend Peggy Carter, you weren’t interested furthering your education after high school. You were too enthralled by how much of the world you had yet to discover, having not taken a single step out of Brooklyn as a kid.

Peggy had been your best friend since middle school. Her family had moved from London to New York when she was still young, and she wasn’t sure that she would’ve settled in as well as she did if you hadn’t have made her feel like she had a new home in Brooklyn. When you told her about traveling around after high school, she was understandably upset, not wanting to enter the world of adulthood without her best friend with her for every step of the way. But she still supported you wholeheartedly, helping you find jobs around the city to earn you enough money to keep you going for the first month or so on the road.

After you left Brooklyn, you were on your own. Making your own money, finding temporary jobs for the temporary times you spent in cities you were eager to explore. Cheap motels became your shelter most nights, anyone you met almost never got your name, your only attachments to any city being the photos you took with the camera your parents had bought you for your sixteenth birthday.

Apart from missing Peggy, leaving Brooklyn to travel was the best decision you’d ever made. You hadn’t left the US just yet; you had a separate savings jar that was getting put towards buying a plane ticket to London. You knew that was the first place you wanted to go when you could leave America, the place where your best friend grew up. You offered for Peggy to come with you, give you a proper tour of the city, but she was too focused on college for the time being, and taking a trip to a different continent didn’t seem like the best idea in the middle of the first semester after summer, which is when you were hoping to have the funds to get there.

Last summer, you were somewhere in California, on the complete other side of the country to Peggy. You were a little hard up, and you barely had enough money to buy dinner, never mind a plane ticket to New York. Next summer, you’d promised. Though, you were sure it was fate that kept you from Brooklyn that summer, because not spending the whole summer with you meant that she spent it with somebody else - Steve Rogers. It was hard to stay in contact with Peggy, considering your phone was cheap and you barely had any credit, but the girl hadn’t had a bad word to say about her new boyfriend since the moment you landed in New York. You’d heard it all; he’s a sweetheart, he’s gorgeous, he’s a real good guy. And your first outing of the summer into the city was to meet the guy in the flesh.

“I know, I just missed you. It’s hard when you’re falling in love and you can’t even talk to your best friend about it.”

You snorted at her words, earning yourself an unimpressed look from your friend as she left her bedroom, you following behind her. “Falling in love? Maybe I shouldn’t have ever left, seems like you’ve gone crazy without me here.”

Peggy led you out of the front door of her small, suburban home, the heat of the July air hitting you immediately, making you thankful for your choice of outfit for the day; a simple black tank top with black and white checkered shorts, paired with short-heeled shoes that clicked against the pavement as you walked and a pair of black sunglasses, which were pulled from the top of your head to rest on the bridge of your nose. She’d insisted that where you were meeting Steve was only a short walk away, and the thought alone of even a spending a short amount of time under the hot sun in jeans or a jacket made you uncomfortable.

“Falling in love isn’t crazy, _____. You’ll understand when you experience it for yourself, trust me.” The brunette linked her arm with yours, rolling her eyes at your negative attitude.

“I’m not ever gonna fall in love, Pegs. There’s too many places to go, too many new people to meet. No time for love or any of that nonsense.”

You didn’t see any appeal in trying to find someone special, because it simply just wouldn’t work. Even if you did find someone you clicked with, you’d only spend maybe a month or so by their side before you were off to another city, and nobody was going to stop you from traveling the world if you had anything to say about it, no matter how ‘in love’ you were with them.

But you’d never been in love, and you weren’t going to be for a long time, if ever. You were a free spirit; a person with a heart that only belonged to you, and you were certain that it’d stay that way.

“If you say so, darling.” Peggy nudged you with her elbow, prompting you to nudge her back harder, making the both of you fall into giggles like you were kids again.

The two of you walked for a little longer, the tales you were recounting of your time in Los Angeles and Sam Francisco keeping you both occupied until you arrived at wherever you were supposed to be going.

When Peggy pulled you to a stop in front of a large, shabby building, you were noticeably confused.

The place wasn’t run-down, per se, but the white paint was peeling off the walls, revealing the dark wood underneath. It wasn’t a house, but the spacious, open garage in front of you definitely made it look like people lived there. There was a fridge in the corner of the room, next to a small bar with a couple of beer bottles sitting on top of it. Couches lined the cream walls of the garage, better painted than the outside of the building, and there was a motorcycle in the center on the room, some of the parts clearly missing, as if someone was in the middle of fixing it up.

There were more motorcycles parked outside of the garage, lined up on the driveway messily. You turned to your friend, eyebrow raised questioningly. “Is there a reason why Steve has so many motorcycles?”

A chuckle left her red-coated lips. “They’re not all his; this is the clubhouse.”

The what now?

You’d heard enough warnings from your parents when you were younger to stay away from motorcycles and clubhouses.

“Oh, Pegs. I leave you for a year and suddenly you’re seeing a guy in a biker gang?”

“It’s not a biker gang, stop being so dramatic.” The brunette began to lead you into the garage; you assumed she was allowed in freely for being involved with one of the members. “They’re good people, I promise. Not like the bikers our parents told us to stay away from as kids.”

Before you could make a further argument and irritate your friend even more, Peggy had turned the handle to a door at the back of the garage, leading out into a small, grassy area. A tall, brown fence kept the garden closed off from the surrounding areas, and a number of shrubs lined the edge it, hiding any part of the ground that wasn’t covered in grass. It looked quite taken care of - cozy, even. There was a barbecue in the corner of the space, currently not in use, but the fairly large picnic table in the middle of the area was occupied.

You weren’t sure how you didn’t hear it from the garage; the laughing and chattering coming from around the table. Green bottles clutched in some hands, cigarettes in between the fingers of others, leather jackets enveloping the upper bodies of everyone sitting at the table. They looked exactly how you pictured the members of a motorcycle club to look.

At the sound of two pairs of footsteps approaching the table, everyone’s heads turned to you and Peggy, and you noticed as a certain blond instantly shuffled along in his seat, his smile widening at the sight of your friend.

“Peggy, I didn’t know you were comin’ today.”

“Why, you aren’t happy to see me?”

“Course I am, sweetheart.” A faint blush rose in the blond’s cheeks, and it was safe of you to assume that this was Steve. “Sit down, will you?”

The brunette slid into the empty space next to Steve, an excited smile on her face. She’d been waiting a while to introduce you to her boyfriend, you could tell. “James, move along so _____ can sit down.”

Your eyes flickered up at the mention of your name, and landed on the biker sitting opposite to the couple, a cigarette resting between his lips. He seemed to be in the middle of a conversation with the redhead sat next to him before Peggy called his name. His gaze moved to you, blue eyes raking up and down your impatient stance, a smirk forming on his lips. Christ, was he deaf?

“Jeez, you’re lookin’ at me like you’ve never seen a woman before.” You spoke up, your own confidence shocking even you a little. Well, Steve didn’t seem like some big, scary biker - you doubted any of the others could be worse than him.

The biker’s smirk only widened as you pushed your sunglasses to sit on your head, eyes darting between you and Peggy. “Where you been hidin’ this gem, Peggy?”

“Just move along, jerk.” Steve intervened, earning himself an eye roll from his friend before he made a space on the bench next to him. Well, you didn’t really want to sit next to the guy anymore, but you weren’t trying to get a telling off from your friend.

“I was just askin’, Stevie.” He shrugged as you took the seat next to him, the heavy scent of smoke in the air making you crave a cigarette yourself. “Think I would’ve remembered Peggy bringin’ her around here.”

“_____ hasn’t been in Brooklyn for two years, so no, I haven’t brought her around here before. Even if I had, with the amount of women you knock around with, I’m not sure you would remember her, James.”

Despite it being an insult towards him, James chortled along with Steve, who wrapped a strong arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“Anyway, everyone, this is _____ - we’ve been friends since middle school, and she’s only here for the summer. _____, you’ve met Steve and unfortunately, James; this is Natasha, Sam, and Clint.”

Peggy pointed towards each leather-clad person sitting around the table, the three you hadn’t met giving you a casual ‘hello’. You returned the greeting, before the your eyes landed on the empty pack of cigarettes in the centre of the table. God, you were really craving one.

To hell with it, you thought, turning to the man next to you, eyes on the stick between his fingers. “You mind if I take a drag of that?”

James’ eyes locked with yours, and you hated that his eyes were as pretty as they were. “Sure can, baby.”

Baby. Nobody had ever called you that before. Even when you were flirted with in random bars, and you sometimes flirted back for your own enjoyment, you’d never been called by the term, not with the softness that James had. But he probably called every woman he met baby, there was no reason to get all soppy about it.

Nonchalantly, you took the cigarette from his hand, fingers brushing together ever so slightly before you pressed the stick to your own lips, inhaling the smoke and feeling a wave of relief wash over you.

“So,” You started, breathing out a cloud of smoke. “Pegs didn’t tell me she was involved in a biker gang.”

The whole ‘motorcycle club’ thing still seemed a little sketchy to you; you just wanted to make sure your best friend was safe when you weren’t around.

“_____-” The brunette went to scold you, but was cut off by the blond next to her.

“S’alright, Peggy.” He rubbed her arm reassuringly, before turning his eyes to you. There wasn’t any annoyance in his expression at your bluntness, which was a good start. “We’re not a gang, really. We ain’t dangerous or doin’ anything we shouldn’t be.”

“So what, you just ride around on your bikes together? Like a cycling club?”

You heard a laugh from across the table, coming from the man Peggy pointed out to be Sam. “Never thought about it like that before, but honestly, that’s spot on.”

“No, it’s not.” Steve sighed, an amused smile creeping onto your lips at his unimpressed expression. “I mean, there’s other clubs that are worse than us, and sometimes we have a run in with ‘em...”

“As long as you’re keepin’ my girl safe, I don’t care who you’re running into, Steve.” You took another drag from the cigarette as the blond raised a brow at you. James let out a chuckle.

“Just ignore her,” Peggy sent you a glare. “She’s overprotective; always has been.”

“Course she’s safe, you don’t need to worry, _____,” Steve assured you. “I’d die before I let anything happen to her, not that anything would happen.”

Both you and James grimaced, probably looking like two kids seeing a couple kiss for the first time. “Christ, Steve. You’re soft as muck these days, you know that?”

“Shut up, Bucky.”

“What the hell is a Bucky?”

“It’s his nickname,” Peggy explained. “James’ middle name is ‘Buchanan’.”

“Your middle name’s ‘Buchanan’?” Clint perked up fron the end of the table, disengaging from his conversation with Sam and Natasha. “How come I never knew that?”

Bucky knocked his pointer finger against his temple. “‘Cause you’ve got nothing up here, Clint. I’ve told you middle name a bunch of times.”

Clint’s brows furrowed in offence. “Hey, that’s rich comin’ from you—”

“Can someone start cooking up some burgers on the barbecue?” Natasha interrupted Clint’s attempt at arguing back, standing up from her seat. “At least if you boys are eating, it means you’re not bickering like idiots.”

“I guess it’s getting close to supper time; Peggy and I will get the grill goin’.” Steve stood up, helping the brunette out of her seat too.

“I’ll get the plates.” Clint offered, heading for the garage.

“I’ll get the drinks.” Sam soon followed.

“You gonna stay for supper, _____?” Peggy asked, to which you replied with a head shake.

You shot her an apologetic smile. “I need to find a job for the next couple of months, can’t leave the city after summer unless I’ve got some more cash in my pocket.”

“Alright, I’ll call you when I’m back at home.” The girl smiled, and with a small wave, she left to follow Steve into the garage, leaving you and a certain biker alone.

Bucky turned to you, a smile pulling at his lips.

“You should stay.” He said suddenly, and you were a little taken aback. You hadn’t felt like you’d exactly made a good impression in front of him.

“D’you want me to stay?” You quirked a brow.

He shrugged, reaching for the short stick between your fingers and pulling it easily from your loose grip, pressing it to his lips. “Seems like you get on Peggy’s nerves as much as I get on Steve’s; could be fun if you stayed.”

The corners of your mouth almost upturned at his words, almost.

“Plus, you’re good eye candy.”

You scoffed, desperate to wipe the smug look of the biker’s face.

Plastering on a smile, you reached forward and plucked the cigarette right back out of his hand and stubbed it on the ashtray next to the empty packet in the middle of the table. Bucky didn’t seem too impressed. Shame.

You rose from your seat, ignoring Bucky’s stare on you before you made your way back towards the garage, sliding your glasses back over your eyes.

“I’ll see you round, Bucky.”

You weren’t sure how to feel about Bucky Barnes; he was kind of an asshole, frankly. But you probably wouldn’t see much of him during the rest of the summer, so you didn’t think much of it.

Well, that’s what you thought, anyway.

* * *

“Am I seeing things, or is that your biker clan walking towards us right now?”

It was supposed to be a girls day out. Just you and Peggy, spending the day at the carnival while the sky was still clear and the sun was still beaming. You’d been going to the carnival in the summer for years with your best friend, even from being in middle school. If there was one thing you were looking forward to while being in Brooklyn, it was this.

The feeling sort of faded when you saw the familiar group of leather-wearing bikers, wondering how the hell they weren’t sweating buckets in the heat.

“Steve wanted to hang out today, and I told him that I couldn’t since we were going to the carnival. I guess they just wanted to come along too.” Peggy shrugged, a smile widening on her wine coloured lips as she jogged towards the group.

“You invited them, didn’t you?” You called after her, tone laced in annoyance.

“It’ll be fun, trust me.” Those were the last words you heard from the brunette before she approached her boyfriend, planting a sweet kiss on his lips.

While you were in the midst of grimacing at the couple, frustrated that Peggy just had to invite along her new blond boyfriend and her new group of friends that looked like they’d come straight out of the film Grease, you hadn’t noticed one of the members of the club straying from the group, coming your way.

“Yeah, it’ll be fun.” A voice suddenly murmured in your ear, making you flinch, and your hand went over your chest in surprise.

“Jesus, don’t do that,” You scolded him with a glare.

“Not Jesus, but close.”

“Funny,” You shot him a mocking smile before turning back to look for your friend, who was already walking off Steve. Well, that was just great. Thanks a lot, Pegs. “And Peggy has ditched me for her boyfriend. Awesome. I might as well just go home.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You don’t need to go home, you have me.”

“You don’t need to pretend you wanna hang out with me, Bucky. Don’t you wanna have fun with your other friends?” You raised your brows.

“D’you wanna help me find ‘em?”

You were about to respond, when you noticed that his other friends had also taken the liberty of leaving the two of you to your own devices. The carnival was massive, too — trying to find them all would probably take hours.

A sigh left your lips as you crossed your arms over your chest. “Alright, fine. I hope you like the big rides, Bucky, cause we’re going on all of them.”

“That’s fine by me, baby,” He nudged your arm with his elbow, a boyish grin spreading across his lips as you guided him towards the nearest large ride. “But for the record, I’m not pretending that I wanna hang out with you.”

Your eyes met his, a slight smile pulling at your lips at the biker being, well, nice.

“Why would I pass up the chance to take a hot girl on a date, huh?”

Never mind.

You shook your head, glaring harder at the guy than you were before. “I’m gonna throw you off the top of the drop tower, I swear to God.”

Bucky only winked at you, before pacing quicker towards the tall, towering attraction in your line of sight. “C’mon, the line’s filling up quick.”

The wait for the ride wasn’t long, though it certainly felt long as you witnessed Bucky flirting with the two girls in front of you. You weren’t even sure if he knew that his bright eyes glistening in the sun and his wide smile were making the girls blush furiously, but either way, he didn’t stop talking to them until he had to when you sat on opposite ends of the ride to them.

You didn’t even know why you were annoyed. You didn’t know Bucky, and you didn’t necessarily like him all that much. But it irked you, seeing him just charm is way into two strangers' hearts like that. You were sure you’d seen their boyfriends wander off to some other stall only minutes before they set their eyes on Bucky, but you guessed that wasn’t any of your business.

Though, as happy as you were that Peggy had ‘fell in love’ or whatever, even seeing her and Steve being slightly affectionate with each other made you nauseous. Romance just wasn’t your thing, basically.

He noticed the unimpressed look on your face as the worker strapped you into your seats. “What’s wrong, baby? Don’t wanna go on the big rides no more?”

“Stop calling me that.”

“You don’t like it?”

Well...

“No, I don’t.”

However, with your slight moment of hesitation, you’d somehow managed to boost Bucky’s ego even higher than it already was.

The boy smirked across at you. “You like it, don’t you? You like it when I call you baby.”

“Remember what I said about throwing you off the top of this ride?” You threatened, only earning yourself a laugh from the biker.

Before Bucky could continue his teasing, the ride jolted to a start, and you hoped that meant that Bucky would keep his mouth shut for the next five minutes. Apparently, it didn’t mean that at all.

“You know,” The biker yelled over the racket of the ride elevating from higher up the tower. “I think they did this on purpose.”

“Who did what on purpose?”

“Steve and Peggy; leaving us by ourselves.”

You scoffed at him smirking suggestively at you. “You’re delusional, Bucky. Delusional.”

But honestly, you wouldn’t have put it past your best friend. Perhaps she was determined to make you fall in love to prove that it would happen to you one day.

Well, it certainly wasn’t going to happen with Bucky, that was for sure.

The ride eventually reached the top of the tower with a click, and you didn’t miss the string of curse words that left Bucky’s lips as his eyes roamed the view of the carnival from where you were in the air.

“What’s wrong, Bucky? Don’t wanna go on on the big rides no more?” You mocked his words from before, but the biker only gulped, and you sort of felt... bad.

He bit his lip, shaking his head and looking up. “I’m fine, just not a big fan of heights, that’s all.”

“Well, you picked the worst ride if you don’t like heights.”

He shot you a glare, but another smirk soon found his lips at you eyed him in a confusedly. Within seconds, he had his hand interlinked with yours, and you practically choked on your own saliva.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m scared of heights; I need to hold your hand.”

“When we get off this ride, you’ll need an ambulance for when I kick you in the-”

And you couldn’t even finish your sentence, because soon enough, you were dropping from an 180ft height, and your hand was clutching Bucky’s possible tighter than his was clutching yours.

As it turned out, Bucky actually didn’t mind heights - the idiot just wanted an excuse to hold your hand.

It was safe to say that was the first and last ride you went on with him that day.

Peggy got an earful when you finally left the place, but she only told you that you’d have the rest of the summer to go to the carnival with her, but she thought it’d be nice to bring everyone else along, to leave you alone with Bucky.

You weren’t sure if nice was necessarily the word, but it was... something.

Something odd, definitely, because you couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of your hand in his from your mind.

* * *

It’d been two weeks before you found a job to get you through the summer. Two weeks of Peggy dragging you down to the damn clubhouse, two weeks of slowly getting used to being around the group of bikers, two weeks of Bucky calling you baby and you telling him to stop calling you baby.

When you’d finally managed to get Peggy on her own on a trip to beach one weekend, she’d asked you what you thought of him. Him specifically.

“I knew you’d warm up to them.” The brunette had said, leaning back on her palms as the sun hit her skin, grains of golden sand feeling soft between her fingers.

“They’re alright.” You’d replied, staring aimlessly at the dimmed clear sky through your sunglasses, lazily laid back on a pale pink beach towel. “Just a group of friends takin’ each day as it comes. Don’t need a lot of money, don’t need a lot of anything. There’s never a dull moment with them, is there? You’ve gotta admire that.”

Your words put a small smile on Peggy’s lips. “And Bucky? What do you think of him?”

Bucky. He called you baby when you told him not to, though you sort of glad he never stopped. He found your best friend and his best friend just as disgustingly sweet as you did. He had a smart mouth, but you had a smarter one. He was pretty, sure. He had his moments, and he ruined them himself when he made a stupid comment straight after. He flirted with you relentlessly, and you weren’t sure that he even knew he was doing it. He made you want to smack the smirk off his lips, but he also made you want to kiss it away.

What? No, you didn’t want to kiss him. You didn’t get attached, especially not guys like Bucky who didn’t seem to get attached either.

“He’s okay.”

The girl raised her brow, gazing down at you questioningly. “Just okay?”

His hand was rough against yours, you remembered; a feeling you hadn’t felt in a long time. He had dreamy baby blues and was too charming for his own good. He shared cigarettes with you and even offered to give you a ride home on his motorcycle when you were at the clubhouse late. You always declined, though, because... he probably offered every girl a ride home on his bike. Shared his cigarettes with a bunch of girls and charmed any girl that caught his eye.

Bucky didn’t want you, he didn’t like you like that. And that was fine, because you felt the exact same way. Or you liked to tell yourself that, anyway. But none of it mattered; you were only in Brooklyn for the summer, you’d probably never see him again for long time.

You exhaled quietly, letting your eyes flutter shut under your sunglasses.

“Just okay.”

The day at the beach was your last day of true relaxation before you got your new job; Peggy had talked to Natasha about you needing a job, and Natasha happened to have a friend that owned a bar not far from the clubhouse. It was always somewhat busy, even more so during the sweltering summers when everyone just wanted a cold bottle of beer to survive the heat.

Wanda, the owner of the bar, ended up offering you a temporary job. You’d worked in bars before in a bunch of different cities, saving up for your next round of traveling, so you were able to get started straight away. It didn’t mean you saw Peggy and the group any less, however, since they seemed to hang out at that bar regularly too.

Though, they failed to mention that they weren’t the only biker gang that liked to hang out there.

One light, Friday night, you were wiping down the top of the bar while the demand for drinks had died down for the time being. Peggy was sat on the stool opposite you, Steve was playing pool with Sam and Clint, Natasha was sat conversing with Wanda on the other end of the bar, and Bucky... well. Bucky was curled up on a couch in the corner of the room, partly shielded by the guys playing pool. Only partly, as you could still see him with his arm around a gorgeous blonde, signature smirk sitting comfortably on his lips as the girl placed her hand on his lower thigh. While you refused to let yourself stare, Peggy didn’t miss you glancing over at them from time to time, a slight crease in your brow.

“You can say it, you know.” She said, red lips pressed against the rim of her glass. “That you don’t like seeing James with another woman.”

A heavy scoff left your mouth, one that Bucky probably heard from his place in the corner. “Bold of you to assume I give a shit about who he chooses to spend his time with.” You did, however. You annoyingly did give a shit about who he spent his time with.

Peggy shook her head, chuckling lightly. “He likes you, I can see it.”

“He likes being a pain in my ass.” You narrowed your eyes, still having the stupid sight of Bucky and the blonde cuddling up together in your peripheral vision.

“Because it gets a reaction out of you. It’s obvious he wants your attention.”

“Well, Pegs, we’re not kids. He’s a big boy; if he wants my attention, he can talk to me, not some hot, beautiful girl whose makeup is actually really pretty...”

Okay, maybe it irked you a small bit. Only a tiny, tiny bit that you hadn’t spoken to Bucky at all that night. Peggy was about to tease you even more, sensing your jealousy with ease, until the doors of the bar swung open.

Everyone’s heads turned instantly, eyeing the new crowd of hard-faced, leather-wearing guys. You noticed Steve narrowing his eyes at the group from pool table, and you could assume test these guys weren’t exactly popular amongst his motorcycle club. Even Peggy’s eyes were drawn to them as they made their entrance. Well, Bucky still hadn’t pried his eyes away from the girl next to him, but whatever.

“Talk about a dramatic entrance.” You let out a laugh, but the brunette didn’t seem to find humour in the situation like you did. “Who are these guys, Pegs?”

She turned back to you, lips pressed into a narrow line. “The guys that Steve said his club have a run-in with from time to time, it’s them.”

“Oooh, does that mean there’s gonna be a brawl? I’ve always wanted to see a bar fight in real life.”

Your friend shot you a look, the look that she gave you at least ten times a day for saying something she didn’t particularly find amusing. Well, you win some, you lose some. “_____, they’re not like our guys. You should watch what you say around them.”

“Peggy, I think we’ve been friends long enough for you to know that I don’t watch what I say around anyone. Especially some dudes who think ridin’ around on bikes and starting fights randomly makes them all ‘alpha’-”

“Bars not that far from the entrance, sweetheart. We can hear ya loud and clear.” A raspy voice called from across the room, drawing your attention over to the group of new customers.

You leaned your elbows on the wooden bar top, ignoring Peggy’s warning look. “That’s great, man. Means you have working ears.”

The man in the center of the group scoffed, running a hand through his dark hair before making his way over to where you were stood behind the bar. You noticed Peggy shuffle uncomfortably, but she kept her chin up confidently as the man perched himself on the stool next to her, eyes trained on you. They scanned your top half up and down as if he was analyzing you, but you didn’t give him any sort of reaction. “You new around here?”

“New to working here, not new to Brooklyn.” You answered simply, adjusting your apron as you stood up straight. “D’you and your friends wanna order?”

“We’ll start with a round of beers.”

With a nod, you collected several glasses from the cabinet below the bar top and began filling them to the rim with beer. Apparently, this guy couldn’t just stay quiet as he waited for the drinks. He spared a glance at Peggy, who’d pulled out her phone as a way of not having to deal with any sort of interaction with him for the night. His eyes then went back to you. “You friends with Peggy, here?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Does that mean you’re part of Steve’s club then?”

A light chuckle left your lips as you slid a cool glass of beer across to the man, noticing as Peggy began to stand up from the stool she’d been sat on. Well, the guy didn’t seem that bad. You could have a conversation with him on your own, right?

“I’m not part of any club.” You smirked, prompting him to mirror your expression. He seemed pleased with your answer.

He sipped his drink lightly as you placed the rest of the drinks on a tray and positioned it on the end of the bar for the rest of his group to collect. “You know, I like you, birdie.”

“You’ve known me for thirty seconds.” You narrowed your eyes at him, leaning down on the bar again. “And if you call me that again, that beer’s getting chucked in your face.”

Ignoring your threat, he leans in closer, close enough that you can smell the smoke on his breath. “I think you’d fit in well with us.”

“Like I said, I’m not part of any club.”

While he didn’t seem like an immediate threat to you, you decided that whoever this guy was, you didn’t like him. It seemed like Peggy and the others already weren’t fond of him anyway, and they probably wouldn’t take too kindly to you bantering back and forth with him. And if he was only talking to you because he wanted you to join his damn club, then you didn’t care to talk to him for much longer.

The man inched his hand closer to yours, but you didn’t move a muscle. Letting your guard down in front of guys like him was something you refused to let yourself ever do. “My name’s Brock; care to share yours?”

“Not really, no.” You shrugged, about to step away from your position at the bar after noticing a few people waiting for refills, when you felt a hand clasp around your wrist. Your jaw tightened, snapping your eyes up to Brock’s. “Can I help you, Brock?”

“I think you should come sit over there with us.” He stated, and you looked over to where he was referring to. A large, circular table in the darker area of the bar, where the rest of his clan were laughing obnoxiously loud and chugging their drinks as if their lives depended on it.

You attempted to tug yourself away from his grasp yourself, but it only tightened. “I have customers to see to.”

“I’m sure Wanda can take ‘em.”

A deep exhale left your lips. You didn’t notice Bucky’s curious eyes lingering on you from his seat in the corner, no longer focused on the blonde. “Brock, get your fucking hand off my wrist.”

His features hardened, eyes no longer filled with amusement, but anger. “You know, you’ve got some balls speakin’ to me like that.”

You responded lowly and calmly, eyes never moving from his. “I don’t need balls to tell conceited assholes to fuck off.”

“You little-”

Before you could receive the abuse Brock was about to spit at you, the pressure was removed from around your wrist, and you were left with some faint bruising on your skin. However, that was the last thing on your mind as you watched the man being shoved from his seat on the barstool, the third of him hitting the floorboards drawing everyone’s attention to him.

Bucky. His jaw was clenched as he stared down at Brock on the ground with disgust, and from how close he was stood to him, you were sure that he was the reason the man was groaning on the floor at the moment.

“What the hell are you doin’, huh?” He yelled down at Brock, annoyance laced in his tone. “Grabbing a woman like that, what the fuck is wrong with you, Rumlow?”

Unfortunately for him, Brock wasn’t done yet. He sprung up from the ground, rage practically sleeping through his skin and slammed his fist into Bucky’s nose, sending him stumbling back a few steps. While you’d only just told Peggy that you wanted to see a bar fight, you didn’t really want to see one that involved Bucky, even if it was against some dickhead who had the nerve to grab you like it was nothing. It wasn’t long before Steve rushed over to the scene, clutching his friend by the shoulders so that he didn’t fall back completely. A harsh glare was sent towards Brock, who only stood smugly, ignoring the ache in his back from the fall.

“What’re you still doing here? Get the hell outta here.” The blond almost growled.

“I don’t take orders from you, Rogers. This ain’t your place.”

“But it is mine.” Wanda emerged from behind the bar, standing next to Steve with a raised pistol in her hands. Her accent was thick, and her expression serious. If you were Brock, you’d be crapping your pants. “Get out, now.”

The man frowned in frustration, darting his eyes between Bucky, who was holding his bloody nose, and you, who decided to say screw it and flip him off, to which he only looked more like he wanted to rip someone’s head off. Though, he eventually waved over his group of equally annoyed bikers and kicked open the doors of the bar, leaving the building with a harsh slam of the door.

And they didn’t even pay for their drinks, bastards. Now, now you saw why everyone hated them.

Your eyes flicked back up to Bucky. Red smothered his hands, pain flashing in his eyes as he touched his clearly broken nose gently, trying to assess the damage himself. Almost subconsciously, you grasped a thin towel from a counter under the bar, along with a handful of ice cubes from the ice bucket. You wrapped the ice in the towel, creating a barely-adequate ice pack before removing yourself from behind the bar to approach Bucky.

Steve gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder, stepping back as he saw you coming towards them.

Bucky’s gaze soon met yours, a new look in his eyes that you couldn’t quite decipher. Why did he do that?, you wondered. You weren’t in distress, you weren’t panicked in the slightest. Something must’ve sparked in him to make him leave the girl he seemed to have wrapped around his finger before, but you weren’t sure what that was.

Blood continued to gush from his nose, and it was likely going to make a mess if it wasn’t cleaned up soon.

You bit down on your bottom lip, looking over his nose and the blood trickling down his cupid’s bow. “C’mon, we need to get you some tissues.”

He had no time to object before you were ushering him towards the bathroom of the bar, taking him into the small room and shutting the door behind you to muffle the chattering that’d arisen from the incident. With a nod towards the toilet seat, you encouraged him to sit down as you plucked multiple sheets of tissue from the roll of toilet paper.

“You know,” Bucky spoke up as you placed a gentle hand on his jaw, angling it so you see the damage and wipe away the blood as best as you could. “You don’t have to do this.”

You huffed quietly. “You didn’t have to push Brock off his stool and get yourself punched either, pal.”

The biker furrowed his brows. “He had his hands on you, what was I supposed to do? Sit there and watch?”

“I could’ve handled it myself. I’m not some damsel in distress, you know.”

“Oh, don’t I know it.” He chuckled, wincing slightly as you continued to dab at his nose. “I was half expecting you to be the one to shove him off his seat.”

A smile attempted to tug at your lips, but you wouldn’t allow it to spread any further. So, Bucky had been aware of your existence the whole night, but he’d decided to spend it instead with a girl he’d only just met. Because maybe you did care about who he chose to put his time into, and maybe it hurt that it wasn’t you that he chose. But it shouldn’t matter, because you shouldn’t have liked him. You’d only be around for another two months before you were on a bus out of the city again; developing feelings for anyone was just a recipe for disaster.

You rested some fresh tissue against his nose, asking him to hold it while you applied the ice to the bruised area.

“Do those guys come here often?” You asked him. “Cause I don’t know if I can handle seeing Brock’s stupid face every Friday night.”

That coaxed a snort out of Bucky. “Even if they do come back, which they probably won’t, I’m sure you won’t have a problem showing ‘em the way out. You’ve got an attitude on you, baby. Dicks like them are scared of women who talk back.”

Yeah, he was right. Because if Brock did show his face again on the bar, you’d be avenging Bucky and knocking the asshat onto the floor yourself.

“You shouldn’t call me that, you know.”

“Call you what?” He cocked a brow.

“You know what.” You rolled your eyes, focusing on the ice pack on his nose rather than his eyes that were looking up at you. “I’m not sure your girlfriend out there would like that.”

A short silence overcame the two of you. Bucky crinkled his brows, lips pursing in question before widening into a small smirk. Not his usual smug one, however, but an endearing one - it was almost comforting to you. “The blonde? That wasn’t what it looked like.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, really.” He paused as you tipped his jaw to the other side, fingers lightly brushing over his stubble as you pressed the ice back onto his nose. “I didn’t even get her name. She was really drunk when she came stumblin’ over to the couch where I was, and there were creeps sitting on a table near us eyeing her up. I didn’t wanna leave her in case they tried somethin ‘ on with her, so I pretended that I knew her until those guys finished their drinks and left. When I saw Rumlow givin’ you a hard time, I told Sam to call her and her friend a cab, who I’m sure was also drunk as hell and had gone out the back to throw up.”

Bucky Barnes has never made you speechless before. When he came out with smart comments, they never took you by surprise, because all he did was make smart comments, either flirtatious ones towards you or narcissistic ones about himself. But this? This was something pleasantly surprising. Not that you thought he was a complete asshole who wouldn’t help a drunk girl out if she needed it, but he stayed with her all night, only leaving her to help another girl being hassled by a guy (again, not that you needed the help).

“Wow, Bucky. That was... really nice of you.” You said fondly.

“See? I can be nice.” He grinned, not able to stop himself from making a teasing remark.

“Surprisingly, yes, you can.” You bit back a smile, finally allowing your eyes to meet his. “And... I appreciate it, you standing up to Brock like that. I mean, you could’ve at least let me toss his beer in his face first...”

The biker chuckled, something glazing his eyes that you hadn’t noticed before (despite it happening a lot around you) - adoration. A fondness he usually got when he took his bike down the freeway at sunset, when he was able to see the blood-orange sphere in the warm sky slowly heading in to rest for the night. A softness that he got when he attended Becca’s high school graduation, witnessing the very moment that his baby sister wasn’t such a baby anymore. For some reason, after that comment in that moment, Bucky felt a warmth in his chest that he thought he’d never feel.

Your hand was resting in his jaw gently, innocently. Yet it made the man feel a hundred different things at once. It’d only been two weeks; he didn’t even know you, really. He knew that you were confident, not afraid of speaking your mind. That you were free-spirited, a traveler. But he didn’t know you. He didn’t know what your childhood was like, what your family was like. What movies made you cry, what your biggest fears were and what you wanted to achieve in life. Bucky found himself wanting to know it all and more; you just had that effect on him.

“Maybe, but what if he’d decided to deck you in the face instead?”

“Hm, nothing I haven’t experienced before.” Bucky raised a brow, but you only smirked. “That’s a story for another time.”

If that insinuated that he and you would have more time alone together, then Bucky was fine waiting for that story to come to light. “I’ll look forward to hearin’ it, baby.”

You found yourself dazed for a few moments, absentmindedly trailing your fingers up Bucky’s jaw to his forehead, pushing a few brown strands back that had fallen over his eyes after the incident with Brock. They then traced over his cheekbone, lingering for a moment as you met his gaze again, his eyes looking brighter and bluer than you’d ever seen them. There was still a little bit of blood just under his nose, which itself was bruising over. But he was still pretty, still handsome, and his charming grin remained on his pink lips even with the pain in his nose.

“Bucky?” You spoke up suddenly, your next words possibly being ones you’d regret once the summer was over and at an end.

“Yeah?”

...

“I like it when you call me baby.”

[keanureevesisbae]

Caught in a Blizzard - Part 4

Summary: Chris travels back to NYC to be with Luna. 

Pairing: Chris Evans x Luna Hwang (Asian OFC)

Warnings: Mentions of sex

Wordcount: 2.5k

A/N: Did 5 months pass when I last updated this story? Yes, it sure has. Do I have an epilogue planned after this? Yes, I do. Will I post that very soon (and not in five months)? Yes, i will. I’m really sorry for the wait, but thank you for your patience 🥰

Masterlist // Caught in a Blizzard Masterlist // Part 3 // 

Chris Evans had been single for so long now and he thoroughly enjoyed it. Sure he had dreams about settling down with someone, but for now, he felt as if being single was for him the best option.

But then Luna Hwang swooped into his life and (whether it was intentionally or unintentionally) turned his whole life upside down. He figured that meeting her would be fun, but not as life changing as this. He knew all about her, sure, and about her new album and no, he didn’t lie on the Graham Norton Show: he did buy it immediately. He was also fully aware she used to be in Brave Elegance and that performance at the Golden Globes, is engraved in his brain and he thinks about it often.

Luna started that performance with a dance solo and he kept thinking about the way her body moved in that purple skirt and white crop top. Though she was in a group, she was the woman that demanded every single bit of attention you had.

But then she went solo and all eyes were on her. Her single “Inside” came out, he caught himself watching that music video over and over again. While he was a mature adult, he still turned into a giddy teenager when he watched that video. He doesn’t know when the last time was he had a celebrity crush… The sexy and edgy concept of her solo stuff, it was a vibe that matches with her.

It just clicked.

Chris nearly was in a state of shock when he listened to all the songs on her album. Her sexy voice made everything a billion times better. In Brave Elegance, Luna was known for a deep and raspy voice. Her singing voice has an even deeper tone, almost as if dark chocolate had a voice.

And that Luna, that confident woman was the same Luna Chris was falling for. Though those three days were filled with sex and other bed room activities, he also got to know her on a deeper level. He got to know about her struggles, her life pre Brave Elegance, her life in Brave Elegance and her life post Brave Elegance. Her being a foster child was something that he knew, but he didn’t know that she went to sixteen different families. That must’ve been tough for a young girl like her. He never thought about not having a family of his own, mostly because he went to school with other privileged kids with families.

After these days, it made him realize he doesn’t want to spend apart from her again. After she shared about her fears, how she felt like it was her fault Brave Elegance broke up and what the public will think of her, all he wanted to do was to stay with her forever. Not going back to LA. Just wanted to get to know her a bit better. He knew he was falling for her way too hard, but after spending more than seventy two hours with her, he knew she was simply the one he wanted.

And now this happens. These pictures got leaked and he saw the shit that was already poured over her. People say all those things about her, but not about him and that makes him furious.

Maybe she does need to write another diss track.

He stares at the pictures they made, not the paparazzi—he looked at those enough. He looks at her smile and her beautiful eyes, the tattoos on her arms. Her soft cheek against his, her lips against his temple and her eyebrows full of expressions, almost like they are living a life of their own. Chris never felt like this before, but the attraction between them, it is unparalleled in comparison to what he and any other woman he dated ever shared. He thinks about her, about kissing her, watching her fall apart underneath him. She is such a wonderful woman, in all she does.

The way she would curl up against him as they went to sleep. The way she would sit on his lap as they were eating. The way she would run her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp with her nails as they were watching a movie together.

Three days were filled with domestic relationship kinds of things. The things couples do. Established couples. The things he would see his friends do with their girlfriends.

As they sat on the couch, he couldn’t help but look at her. She is so beautiful, so precious and he hoped that this blizzard would go on for infinite time. Three days was all he got, but he wants that to last.

Though it’s not ideal, he can’t wait for them to be reunited again. When he heard her on the phone, his cracks appeared in his heart and every sob he heard, made another shard fall off..

His flight is almost going to board and he types a quick message for her.

Chris: I’m at your place in a few hours. Just hang in there, okay?

Luna: I’ll try.

Chris: Beautiful, it’ll all be okay. I guarantee.

✘ ✘ ✘

Chris can’t seem to agree with the statement his agent and Luna’s agent made. The words “legal action”, “invasion of privacy” and “consensual sex between to adults” are phrases he doesn’t want to see together, especially not when his name and Luna’s are in that same paragraph.

Chris has been on a plane non stop and he looks and feels like absolute shit. Despite all that and his fatigue, he rushes up to the sixteenth floor of Luna’s apartment building and knocks on her door.

When Luna opens the door, his heart breaks even more than it’s already been doing. Her eyes are swollen and red, her cheeks are flushed and she looks so tired. Chris drops his bag and suitcase on the floor and he whispers: ‘Come here.’ He engulfs her petite frame in his arms for a tight hug. She buries her face in the nape of his neck, before she lets out a cry.

‘I’m here, Luna, I’m here for you.’

Her breathing starts to become rapid, way too fast. Her fists clutch his shirt and he feels her tense up in his embrace. ‘Oh no, sweetheart,’ he says in a soft voice, holding her upper arms. ‘Careful now. Breath with me.’ He takes a deep breath and watches her trying to copy it, but it comes out shake and way too short. He recognizes it right away. ‘Focus on me,’ he tells her. He places her tiny hands on his chest, hoping that when she can feel him breathing, it makes it easier for her to copy. ‘Good girl,’ he whispers as her breathing is normalized. He presses a long kiss on her forehead. ‘Don’t you worry, we’ll get through this.’

‘That sounds like we’re a couple.’

‘Well,’ he says, ‘we’re in this mess together, you and I, so we have to figure this out together.’ He walks inside the apartment and he sees four pairs of eyes staring at him. He wraps his arm around Luna’s shoulders, before he introduces himself to her band members. He was already shocked to find out that they were all there, but that means they might’ve reconciled, right? They all have a loving smile as they look at Luna, almost as if their fall out never happened.

‘Okay, mister Captain America,’ Rosie says with a smile, ‘how about you and Luna go catch up a bit. We’ll take care of the rest.’

He nods, thankful that the members of Brave Elegance are giving them the privacy they need and want, before he pulls Luna with him, so the two of them can sit on the couch. ‘Tell me, sweetheart, what’s on your mind now. Don’t worry, you can tell me everything.’

‘I ruined your career,’ she tell him, her voice cracking mid sentence. ‘Like, you are you, a wonderful actor with a heart of gold and I am me, a singer who sings about sex and broke up her band. I’m a joke.’

He can’t believe she thinks that. ‘You are not a joke, sweetheart,’ he whispers., as he tangles his fingers through her hair, soothingly massaging her scalp. ‘And how on earth do you think you have ruined my career? What happened between us, Luna, you need two people for that. I’m an adult, you’re an adult and some pervert took pictures while we did what tons of people do.’

‘Chris,’ she whispers, but more than that doesn’t leave her lips. She starts to cry again and he pulls her on her lap. She curls up against his broad frame, while she shakes as the sobs leave her lips.

‘Remember,’ he whispers in her ear, hoping for her to calm down a bit, ‘that you are not a joke and you’ll never be one.’

‘How are you so sure?’

‘Because I’ve gotten to know you,’ he says. ‘You are kind, you are smart and you are a total bad ass for singing about certain topics. You’re quite the pioneer.’

She rolls her eyes, as she scoffs. ‘Shut up.’

‘I’m not and I never will,’ Chris says. ‘Come here.’ He carefully pulls her into a kiss, not wanting to scare her away, however, she instantly melts against his lips. ‘That this happened,’ he mumbles, ‘doesn’t change a thing how I feel about you.’

‘I’m so sorry to interrupt,’ Pixie says.

‘Don’t lie, you are totally not sorry,’ Faith says.

He looks up to see all the four other bandmates together. Luna places her temple against his and wraps her arms tightly around his shoulder.

‘What I wanted to say,’ Pixie continues, ‘was that maybe you guys shouldn’t release a statement after all.’

‘What?’ Chris and Luna ask in unison. ‘Why not?’

‘Maybe you should just let them talk, pretend like it didn’t happen.’ Pixie continues.

Luna rolls her eyes again. ‘But it did happen, Pixie,’ she scoffs. ‘People won’t just forget.’

‘I know,’ she says, ‘but what do you want them to know? You two had sex and bad paparazzi for making pictures? Your privacy was invaded?’ She shakes her head. ‘Maybe you two need to just ignore this all.’

Rosie nods. ‘And maybe you should write a killer diss track. You’re good at that.’

Daliah smiles. ‘Maybe as a big fuck you you two should post a picture together on both of your Instagrams.’

‘This is unbelievable,’ Luna chuckles and he is happy that she can laugh again. That she is still able to chuckle, to be cheerful. ‘What you are basically saying is that Chris and I, in the midst of a scandal that could possibly ruin both of our careers, should show the world pictures of us together. Oh you know what, we’ll go out on a date right now.’

Daliah nods with a giddy expression. ‘Remember what you did when the news of Rosie and Justin got out?’

Luna nods. ‘Yes, I do.’

Pixie notices the empty look in Chris’ eyes and fills in for him: ‘She forced us all to go out, sit in a cafe and when the paparazzi showed up, she told them what happened. Blaming it all on Justin.’

Faith crosses her arms. ‘In other words,’ she says, ‘why the fuck should you hide, when you can show the entire fucking world that you are the baddest bitch in town? I don’t understand what you two have, I really don’t, but this looks like it could work.’

Luna looks over at him, wrapping her arm around his shoulder. ‘Well, Chris Evans, are you ready for a date?’

✘ ✘ ✘

Luna’s hand is securely engulfed in his and he holds it so tightly, it almost seems as if he is afraid of losing her. They are out and about for coffee, sitting in a secluded booth, but he notices people taking pictures of them and they are not being subtle. He is used to people taking pictures, but this is next level rude and invasive.

However, Chris is able to ignore it, since he only has eyes for Luna. They sit next to each other, his thumb slowly and softly caressing her fingers.

‘I see you made up with your band members,’ he says, taking a sip of his cappuccino.

Luna nods, as her smile reappears on her face. ‘Yeah, we did.’

‘Well, I told you there were going to be other band members, but turns out it were the old and familiar ones all along.’

She nods again. ‘Chris, I want to thank you.’

‘For what, sweetheart?’

‘For coming back. I mean, I love that my members are here again, but you were right. We should go through this together, almost like a couple.’ She starts to chuckle. ‘And I think I need to write a diss track to TMZ, don’t you think’

Chris cannot hide the smile on his face, because he is just too happy with her. ‘Well Luna, how about we spice things up a bit and make a whole music video together?’

She starts to chuckle. ‘Chris, are you serious?’

‘Of course I’m serious. I have a good feeling about you, about us and I’m not going to throw that away. Besides, we should just put it out there.’

‘We totally should.’ Luna leans over to him, as she kisses him on his bearded cheek. ‘Despite being severely jet-lagged, you look really handsome, Chris,’ she whispers, placing her hand on his thigh. It slowly slides down to his inner thigh, giving the muscles a good squeeze. ‘You drive me crazy.’

‘If you continue to do this,’ he whispers, his voice dropping a few tones, ‘you’re going to be in big trouble.’

She cocks an eyebrow. ‘You honestly think that that is going to stop me?’ She places a kiss on his lips. ‘Come on, let’s get out of here.’

He quickly gulps down the last sip of his coffee, before they walk back outside and he wraps his arm around my shoulders. However, the paparazzo cannot be missed and Chris clears his throat. ‘Brace yourself, sweetheart,’ Chris says to hear, but he also tells himself this, because he is pretty nervous.

‘Chris, Luna, do you have anything to say about the pictures?’ the man asks, nearly shoving his camera into their faces.

‘Yeah,’ Luna mumbles, ‘this.’ She holds up her middle finger into the camera. ‘Leave us the fuck alone, will you?’

Chris can’t help but laugh and feel proud of the beautiful woman who has her arm wrapped around his waist, her body pressed closely against his. The man continues to bombard them with question. Whether or not they’ll take legal action of the photo’s are continued to be spread, if they’d known each other before the Graham Norton show and whether or not the two of them are dating.

‘Well,’ Chris says, ‘if you let us finish our first date now, you might know it in the future.’

✘ ✘ ✘

One month later

[fkingsteverogers]

Tell Me We’ll Be Just Fine

A/N: A couple points: 1) I made a new blog for these writings to make them easier to find 2) I have a tag list! lmk if you want to be added to it 3) For my non US babes and others, your third amendment rights say you can’t be forced to house soldiers. Long Story Short 

Contains TFATWS Episode 5 spoilers

                                                        ****

With John Walker being Honorably Discharged after an International Incident, you’re stuck under house arrest.  (The United States Government would tell you house arrest is too strong of a word, it’s simply Strongly Advised you stay in your apartment.) You want to scream from the rooftops that you had nothing to do with him, that it was all an act, but you’re being Strongly Advised, so that’s not an option. You hope, wherever he is, Bucky is having a better time than you are. 

Five Days; Eastern Europe:

Bucky is not having a good time. They’re in a country where everyone wants them dead, holed up in a shitty motel and all he can think of is the absolutely devastated look on your face when he walked out the door. It makes him brood. 

“You have to talk about her sometime.” 

“Who?” 

“Whoever makes you frown like that.” 

“‘M not frowning. What do you know about it anyway? You’re single.” So maybe he was being an ass about it. You were so far away, probably cuddled up with John or Steve, and he was here, sitting in a motel room with Sam. John Walker was probably feeling you up right now, running his hand over those beautiful thighs of yours as you kissed him, making soft little noises--he clenches his fist so hard he breaks the bowl he’d been holding, splattering rice and beans all over the floor cracked tile floor. 

“Yo, man, what the fuck?!” 

Day One; New York City: 

Steve’s allowed to visit, because of course he is. He flashes some badge and the guards (who are Strongly Advising you), stand down. “Why are you here, Stevie?” And you hate that you still call him Stevie. Stevie is what you called him on the quiet nights when you two were alone and he was still yours. Steve gives you his sad smile and you want to fall into his arms, to sob into his chest and tell him how you fucked it all up. You don’t. 

“Just go, Stevie.” 

Four Days; Eastern Europe: 

Sam goes to do some surveillance, announcing that he “couldn’t deal with this shit,” leaving Bucky alone in the shitty room they were sharing. Before he’d been deployed, he would’ve spent an afternoon alone in a hotel curled up with a pretty girl or a handsome boy. During the war, he’d spend a quiet day catching up on some sleep or rereading a well loved copy of The Hobbit. During his Hydra days (which he hated thinking about but also couldn’t stop thinking about), there really weren’t days off. There were days where he killed and days where he didn’t. Since then, he’d spent most of his days off trying to remember how to be a human. 

You had made those days feel like living again. And now you were John’s girl, dressed all pretty up for him and everything. Bucky’d been fucking stupid to think you’d want someone like him, someone damaged, someone with blood on his hands. You were good and soft and pretty. You spoke four languages and had probably read every book ever written. 

You’d been good enough for Steve. 

He breaks another bowl and has to lay down after.

Day Three; New York City: 

You glare down the solider that’s sitting in your kitchen, eating a sandwich. “This is violating my Third Amendment Rights, you know.” 

The smug bastard grins and keeps eating his sandwich. 

Two Days; Louisiana: 

“That shield’s the closest thing I’ve got left to a family, so when you retired it, I felt like I had nothing left.” 

The mission had gone down as well as any of their missions go, they’d been shot at, gotten out by the skin of their teeth. Sam left to go back home as soon as he could, Bucky followed. Where else did he have to go?

“You have her.” 

He didn’t, not really. 

“I don’t want to talk about her, Sam.” Bucky tosses the shield, scowling deeply. 

Sam sighs, catching the shield. He turned to face his friend, were they friends?, and looked him up and down. “Yeah, you do.” So maybe Bucky does want to talk about you, about how betrayed he feels by you choosing Walker over him. The government hadn’t been powerful enough to stop some gossip magazine from publishing a spread of you and Walker, you in a little red sundress that makes you look incredible and his hand on your thigh. There’s some bullshit story about how you met and had been so enamored with him you’d asked him for coffee on the spot.

 It makes Bucky physically sick with rage. 

Day Four; New York City: 

After four days of being Strongly Advised, you’re ready to start pulling out your hair. The news is nonstop coverage of what happened to John Walker, the green beret who had gone crazy and killed a man in a moment of grief induced rage. And to top it all off, People released a spread that makes you want to scream. The whole shoot hadn’t been your idea, some government publicist had insisted it was necessary to sell the story. In reality, it’d been five hours with John’s hands all over you, grinning like the cat that got the cream. During a break, he’d asked you about Steve, his tone suggesting something that was none of his business. 

“You don’t get to talk about Steve.” John had smirked at you, running his tongue over his teeth. It clearly annoyed him, someone thinking he wasn’t good enough for something. “What about your wife, John?” A look of surprise crosses his face but it’s gone in a moment, the mask he wears to keep people out back in place. 

“Olivia isn’t part of the deal. I thought we could be friends,” he spits the word out like it’s dirty, “but clearly you’re not interested in that, clearly you’re interested in--” 

“Be careful how you finish that sentence, John.” Your voice is low, betraying the landmine he’s almost stepped on. Given the chance, you’d stab John Walker in his pretty face. Decades in prison means nothing when the love of your life abandoned you and the man you thought you could count on ran out. (So maybe you were thinking about Bucky, it doesn’t actually matter.)

Bucky had been a solid presence in a sea of uncertainty. He’d made you feel safe and okay. After Steve’s departure and the death of Tony, the only member of your family left, solid and safety had been in short supply. He’d showed up, ate his cold beans in silence in the kitchen, and hadn’t left. He’d made you laugh in a way you hadn’t in months. You’d developed a routine, Bucky would wake up before you and boil water for tea, you’d stumble out and cook something to serve as breakfast, and you’d both go about your days. In the evenings, you’d come together, talk about the stupid shit that had happened during the day, watch a movie on Friday nights, and go to bed. It was nice to have a routine, something and someone you could depend on. 

The nights had been quiet since he left. 

Twelve Hours; New York City: 

Bucky’s plane lands and he breathes a sigh of relief. 

It’s raining when he steps out of the airport, a down pour by anyone’s standards. Fine by him, less people to avoid. He manages to make it to the little coffee shop outside your apartment without getting too soaked. Going up there wasn’t an option, not when you were probably angry with him for running out. So he sits, drinks endless cups of coffee and watches. 

“She takes it two creams, no sugar, if you want to bring it up to her.” Bucky turns and finds himself face to face with Steve. His friend looks old, but happy, at peace even. There’s so much he wants to say, he wants to ask Steve why he left, what he thought about Walker. He wants to punch him or throttle him or hug him. Bucky wants a long fucking hug. 

“I don’t think she wants to see me, punk.” Steve sits, shaking his head. 

“I didn’t think she wanted to see me, either. Sometimes she doesn’t know what’s good for her..” 

Before Bucky can reply, before he can really process what Steve is saying, he gets a text from Sam and he’s off to save the world again.

Day Five; New York City: 

Because the universe hates you, you can’t even use your phone to entertain yourself. Someone leaked your personal number and it hadn’t stopped ringing since. And, since the internet has no nuance, they’re mostly death threats. You’re reading a book when the guards who are Strongly Advising you abandon their posts. There’s something going on, something that no one bothers to inform you about. 

You go back to reading your book. Hopefully Bucky’s not being thrown through a wall. 

Thirty Minutes; New York City: 

Bucky gets thrown through a wall. 

It fucking hurts and he’s dizzy after. Like can’t-walk-straight-am-I-actually-drunk-dizzy. Sam, the useless bastard, loads him into a taxi, tells him he’ll be fine, and gives the driver your address. Bucky’s dimly aware of this fact, aware of the fact that this poor man is driving him, a bleeding super solider, to the one place he wanted to be but wasn’t welcome. 

Two Minutes; New York City: 

The guards aren’t back by the time the downstairs buzzer starts ringing incessantly. You’re in the middle of your book, right at the moment where the head-strong damsel and the Lord she hated are about to kiss. You try to ignore it, With a groan, you stomp down to the doors. 

Standing there, half supported by Vasily, the Russian cabbie (who is definitely into some shady business), is Bucky. 

Now; New York City: 

You thank Vasily, telling him you’ll pay for the cab when you see him on Friday for Shabbat, and take the bleeding Bucky into your arms. Bucky mumbles something, clearly speaking Russian but too lowly for you to actually understand. Vasily glares at him, muttering curses as he stalks away. 

Dragging Bucky up to your sixth floor apartment means sharing a run in with Daisy Mae, your elderly neighbor who’s 90% blind and enjoys loitering in the elevator. She seems to take offense to Bucky mumbling Russian children’s songs to himself. 

“Speak English dear, not Communism. We’re in the United States.” 

“Mind the business that pays you, Daisy Mae.”

She hmphs, but doesn’t say anything else. Bucky, for his part, gives a rousing performance of the Russian alphabet. Finally, you get Bucky into your apartment and unceremoniously drop him on your couch. 

It’s not long before he falls asleep, leaving you to stare at him for hours, wondering just what he’s going to say when he wakes up. 

When he does wake up, it’s to the scent of your soap, sweet watermelon that always leaves an aching in the pit of his stomach. Waking up on your couch, smelling your soap, and listening to you cook feels like a dream. How many times had he thought about this exact moment while he was with Sam? Soon enough you’d turn the corner from the kitchenette and smile at him, that beautiful smile that never failed to make him feel a little dizzy. 

And then he’d wake up in a shitty hotel room, listening to Sam take a shit through the paper thin walls. 

He waits, but when you appear, you’re frowning anxiously. And God, you’re so fucking beautiful. You’re wearing a pair of tiny sleep shorts that expose your long legs to his greedy eyes. Your hair is pushed back off your face, exposing the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen. 

Steve was a lucky man, to be able to love you.  Maybe one day he’ll find a woman like you to love, if he’s lucky. Has he ever been lucky?

Bucky looks confused when you appear holding tea. “Hi.” He doesn’t say anything back, just frowns back. Your mind races, realizing he probably doesn’t want to see you, that he was dropped off here by some well meaning friend, and he was going to get up and walk out the door again. 

“At least let me clean you up before you go.” Bucky nods wordlessly, looking like he’s still a little stunned. He takes a seat at the kitchen table as you pull down the first aid kit you’d put together when Steve was still here. There’s a cut above his eyebrow that’s still oozing a little blood. It’s in such a place you have to situate yourself between his legs in order to get to it. 

It’s quiet while you work, Bucky’s never been a man of many words and now he’s probably trying to figure out how to tell you you’re never going to see him again. As soon as he’s cleaned up well enough that you’re satisfied he won’t die sitting at your kitchen table, you step away to admire your handy work. Bucky’s left hand, his metal hand, catches your wrist and pulls you back to him. It holds you there while his right hand comes up to cup your face, running a thumb over your cheekbone. 

“You’re so beautiful.” 

He’s not sure what possesses him when he pulls you back into him. All he knows is if he doesn’t get you close, if he doesn’t tell you how fucking beautiful you are, he won’t be able to breathe. You make a little noise of exasperation, your gorgeous lips parting. “I mean it.” “Bucky…” You try to pull away but he holds you there, studying every inch of your face and committing it to memory. There’s an electricity between the two of you, it feels like the air is charged enough to light that stupid snail lamp you’d bought from Arrow or whatever that store you loved was called. “Bucky…” You repeat, your voice softer, in a tone he can’t quite describe

Before either of you can move or say anything else, the door swings open to reveal Sam and Torres, flanked by three soldiers. None of them take notice of what feels like a very compromising position. 

“Oh good, you’re here, Sargent Barnes. You're all being moved to a safe house. Pack enough for an indeterminate amount of time.” 

[bsbloglife]

September 23, 2021…tomorrow I leave my family for 3 weeks, to care for my parents back home. I’m nervous, scared, excited, sad, relieved, and so many other emotions that I cannot begin to name off because my mind is a jumbled mess. I’m looking forward to finally seeing my parents after a little over two years, but so heartbroken to leave my children and husband behind. I do have a sense of relief that now I’ll finally be able to take care of the issues regarding my parents’ needs.

I take off from Orlando in the early afternoon, to arrive in Toronto a few hours later, only to wait for 3+ hrs before my flight to Montreal. My sister-in-law will be coming to the airport to pick me up, then we’ll be heading over to the hotel where my parents have been holed up for over 4 and a half months. My parents don’t know I’ll be arriving tomorrow, but the caregiver is aware. She’ll be waiting for my call to say that I’ve arrived and that I’m on the way. In fact, I’ll be the one caring for my parents the first weekend that I arrive. My father is the one who needs the most help, hopefully he’ll be ok with me cleaning him up when he needs it. This will be interesting! Maybe he won’t recognize me and think that I’m another caregiver. I’m laughing at the thought, but it’s painful to think he won’t remember me. We’ll soon find out. Tomorrow this time I’ll be at the hotel with my parents.

In fact, tomorrow almost didn’t happen. I received a call today from my son’s middle school and as soon as I saw that name pop up on my phone at 1:15pm, I knew it wasn’t going to be a good call. When I answered the phone I waited a few seconds, hoping that maybe it was one of those automated calls from the principal. After a few seconds when I didn’t hear that automated voice come on, I knew something was wrong, so I said “hello?”, to which the school nurse proceeded to tell me her name and that she was calling about my son. I’m sure my response, “oh no, this is not good”, confused her a little bit, which I sensed from her hesitation to continue on. I said that for a few reasons; 1 - she’d only be calling me if something bad happened, 2 - I was leaving for Canada the next day, this seriously cannot be happening, and 3 - what if he has Covid?? I would have to reschedule my trip. I think other things popped in my mind, but right now I can’t remember what they were. She then said he was not feeling well; sore throat, chills, headache, but no fever. I told her I’d be there within 10 minutes. When I got to the school he looked ill, with those glassy eyes and sad face, trying to pull his arms into his shirt because he was getting chilly. I carried his bag and we headed to the car. He told me that he was sorry to put pressure on me because he knew that I had to leave tomorrow. I told him that I believed everything happened for a reason and maybe it wasn’t meant for me to go. My first thought was having to reschedule my trip, because if he had Covid I didn’t want to bring it home to my parents. Then I thought that I would need to get him tested, just to be sure. If he was positive, then I would reschedule the trip. If he was negative, then I would continue as planned. Stupid me, I thought that picking up a Covid Home testing kit would be easy. Just go to the closest pharmacy. Little did I know that these testing kits were like hot cakes and everybody wanted them! There were no Covid testing kits to be found…anywhere!!! My very good friend Bri helped me find one of the last remaining kits in town, after she searched and searched and searched, even going to the closest Walmart by her place to pick up a kit which was supposedly in stock. Only to find out that she missed the last kit by a few minutes! She drove with me to the only pharmacy in town with a kit. You know, that’s a real friend. You find out who your real friends are when they inconvenience themselves to help you, but they truly don’t think they are going out of their way. They are helping you because they genuinely care, when anyone else would be telling you, “good luck finding a kit”, instead she said, “let me get dressed and go to my Walmart that says they have them in stock. I’ll pick it up for you then meet you.” I mean, seriously?!?! Then she drove across town with me to get that last remaining kit, which she found after calling several pharmacies in town, and then begging them to hold it for her. I’ll never forget her kindness. I’m sure she had other things to do than to spend hours searching for a rapid Covid testing kit for my son. What was really beautiful, was that she never made it seem like a hassle. She made it seem that she actually enjoyed helping me. I cherish this girl! (Btw, my son was negative, thankfully!!)

Speaking of kindness, when I texted my cousins back home to tell them that I was coming, they offered me their homes to stay in, they offered me cars to drive, they offered me support in any way that I needed it. My one cousin offered me his daughter’s car, only with her permission of course. I told him that I didn’t mind driving his Maserati, just in case she didn’t want me to drive her Mini Cooper. I still haven’t heard back from him regarding this…. Walter? Hello?? My cousin Nadia was there for me that weekend when I decided to resign, because I needed to talk to someone about my decision to leave my career to care for my parents. She understood my pain. She too worked very hard for her career. She listened, offered her advice and helped me decide that the right thing to do would be to follow my heart. My heart wanted to be there for my parents. If I didn’t follow my heart, my conscience would never be clear and I would be useless to my family. I’ll never forget my cousin Alain and how he took care of my parents needs the day after the fire. He went to the house and dealt with the insurance people and helped my parents navigate the first few days of this terrible event. He was my savior, and theirs too. These kindnesses will never be forgotten.

My best friends back home Tina and Karen, offering me clothing, food, a place to stay. Even offering me their time when painting, decluttering and whatever else I’ll need to get done at the house. I cannot do anything without their support…without all of my friends and families support. My sister-in-law Anna will be there for me when I first arrive and each and every day that I am there. She lives just down the street from my parents place and has often been the one that my mom has called when they needed help. I cannot repay any of these people for their goodness, kindness, love and support. I can only hope that someday I am able to provide them with the same.

Here at home, one of my best friend’s has changed her whole schedule at work to accommodate taking care of my son every morning while I’m away. She rearranged her life for mine. She has literally become the family that I don’t have that lives just down the street. You know what I mean, that family member that lives close by that cares for your kids because you don’t have anyone else?? She literally rearranged her entire life to help me. I cannot thank Lisa and her son CJ enough for caring for my son like he is their family. She spoils him like she does her own sons. I told her to back off a little, because I didn’t want my son to like her more than her likes me. She laughed and said that wasn’t possible, because all my son did was talk about me. He better, good boy!

Speaking of family, tomorrow morning our friends, who we call family and in fact made them godparents to our son, will be driving me to the airport. I feel bad for Pat and Kelly, because they’ll be hearing me cry as we drive away after I say goodbye to my husband and children. I know those painful cries won’t be easy to handle. They’ll be seeing me off at the airport, which I know won’t be easy, because this will mean that I’m really leaving.

Honestly though, I really couldn’t do any of this without my family’s support, especially my husband. If he didn’t have my back, supporting my decision, and taking on most of the responsibilities with me gone for three weeks, then none of this would be possible. He has supported me financially, emotionally and spiritually. Without him I couldn’t do this. Without my children helping me by not begging me to stay, I am able to go. They have cried, they have told me they didn’t want me to go, but they haven’t forced me in a corner where the guilt of their pain would make me stay. I couldn’t do it without their support. My daughter stepping up to the plate by being me for the next three weeks, picking up my son from school, making sure he gets fed and taken to his activities.

Part of me thinks that I’m being such a big baby about this. I should just shut my mouth, stop the crying and just face this head on without fear. I want to, I really do. I feel ashamed that I can’t handle this with the grace and dignity that I know most people in my position would have. I try to have the courage and strength that I need to go forward, but the fear of the unknown has me scared. I’m afraid of leaving my family, what if something happens. It won’t be easy for me to come back home. I have to get a flight. I have to get Covid tested, which takes a day or two. I can’t just jump on a plane and come back. I’m scared I won’t be here if I’m needed. I try to get those things out of my head. I try to have relief knowing that I cannot control things out of my control, I have to let whatever may be just be. Then go from there. I know that this needs to be done and now I’ll finally be doing what I set out to do when I resigned from my career. This is the decision I made, now I will continue on with this journey.

Onward and upward!

[thephantomofthe-internet]

Read into Me Chapter 11: Love Story

Steve Harrington x Reader

CATCH UP ON THE SERIES HERE

Words: 4,771

Warnings: fire, injury-all end of season three things!

Author’s Note: Happy belated Strangers Things 3 Day! I wanted to get this up yesterday, but I didn’t have it in me to work. This is the end of the series, I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! It was a fun little ride!

Series Tag: @divinity-deos @thecaptainsgingersnap @wolfish-willow @scoopsohboi @herre-gud-nej @clockworkballerina @maddie1504 @i-am-trash-so-much-its-scary @jisungiesluv @wildcvltre @stanleyyelnatsiii @n3wtscaseofniffler5 @peterparxour @linkispink1995 @a-big-ball-of-idk @used-avocado @mochminnie @sledgy14 @the-creative-lie @yall-wildin-like-siriusly @ggclarissa @voidnarnia @anonymousonion33 @awkwardnesshabitat @darkcrystal-wolf @hannahrisacher

Paris was a lonely city. You’d arrived alone, having not seen Steve since prom and still desperate to see him one more time. You’d selfishly kept his sweatshirt, wanting a piece of him to take with you to a different country. Your mother hadn’t picked you up from the airport, having sent a car instead. She didn’t seem much interested in speaking to you after months apart; she was much more interested in redecorating her new condo and talking about her fiancé. You met him, a French fop named Jean-Pierre at least fifteen years her junior. He was nice enough, although a bit fruity for your liking. His interests were more on the modeling jobs your mother was getting him. She had no time for you, which was fine since your lessons at the salon began immediately.

You and thirty-five other young hopefuls spend your days locked in a studio with abundant resources and endless models and objects to sketch. And you hated it. You hated the long, rambling lectures from the artists who came to the salon to preach the values of the school and the importance of French art. They alternated between speaking in French and English without explaining themselves as they switched tongues. Your French language skills were nonexistent, so the lectures were exhausting and endless. The only time they ever seemed to help was when they brought you all to the Louvre to examining the long dead French men who’d made the museum possible. There, you could at least sketch out the greats and enjoy the beauty of the art. Inside the studio, you felt as though your head was going to explode. The lectures spoke too loudly and loomed over you without warning or word, you weren’t allowed your headset or Walkman in the studio to combat them, and the smell of various paints and clays made your stomach churn. The girl who’d taken up the easel next to you, a little German named Lisle, had taken to making clay pots and sculptures and the sound of her pottery wheel mixed with her incessant humming made you want to commit manslaughter. It didn’t help that the smell of the brown clay invaded your sinuses and made you sneeze violently. You dreaded the salon. But you dreaded being at home more.

Your mother had hired you a French tutor, utterly horrified by the fact that you hadn’t been practising. You tried to tell her that, despite her assumptions, Hawkins High had stopped offering a French elective two years before you started there.

“You cannot live in Paris without speaking French! It won’t do!” she moaned. Jean-Pierre was already on the phone, speaking fast into the receiver. You didn’t see what the big deal was. Everywhere you went, people spoke enough English to communicate with you fine. It didn’t occur to you till after dinner that if you were to study in the country, you’d need the language to understand your lessons.

So you got a French teacher, a short tempered older man who insisted on being called Monsieur Bérnard. His greying whiskers moved sharply as he spoke and he often spit on you as he taught proper pronunciation and conjugation. He ranted and raved all afternoon, disgusted by your apparent lack of an ear for languages and your doodling on the edges of notebook paper instead of working. You’d go from sensory overload in the salon to being bullied by a Freud-looking asshole each day with no room for a break or a breath.

You lived for weekends. Rest was very well thought of in the city so the hell spawn tutor didn’t work and the salon locked its doors. You were allowed to wander the city at your leisure, your mother glad to have you out of the apartment. You’d spend most of your days sat at a café near the Eifel Tower, a prime spot to tourists. Every day, you’d bring your sketchpad and try to draw out the profiles of those you passed you by. You spent two weekends working on a sketch of people sunbathing on the lawn in front of the tower. But it seemed you left all your talent in Hawkins. You’d spent so long drawing familiar faces back home, now that you were away from your nest, you found yourself without the skill to capture the faces around you. It occurred to you that you knew the faces of Hawkins far too well. They were engrained in your mind, your hand working like a stamp to put them on the page. France was full of strangers. You didn’t know how to understand them like you understood Hawkins. France wasn’t home. You couldn’t work out in a world of strangers.

You couldn’t work in the salon either. It was too much. Everyone was constantly showboating and trying out-do one another. You couldn’t work with people spying over your shoulder. You felt judged and insecure about what you could do. You didn’t want to be watched as you tried to make art. It didn’t help that you had no idea what to make. The closest thing you’d gotten done is that sketch of the Eifel Tower and that wasn’t something you couldn’t buy on the streets around the monument. You’d tried all the things that you couldn’t in your bedroom-paint splatter art, pottery, carving, paint pulling, mosaics. You never finished anything. The drive to push through wasn’t there.

When the loneliness and fear became too much to bear, you held Steve’s sweatshirt and cried. It still smelt like him; Irish Springs soap and Fabregè Organics shampoo and hairspray and a bit like sweat. It was nice though. You missed him. You tried to write him letters, but you knew that they wouldn’t get home before you did. You’d made up your mind that whatever the answer was, you were going home. Whether that meant deferring a semester or missing the first week of school you would go back to Hawkins. Still, you’d written over a dozen letters, all crumpled in your waste bin.

You waited until the last minute to finish something for submission. You’d tried to sketch your mother, to find who you knew in the fancy woman in front of you. With her bleached blowout and designer clothes, thirty pounds lighter and yellow gold jewellery glinting in the midday sun. She looked like the epitome of elegance, straight out of a magazine. The woman you remembered had greying roots and love handles, her only jewellery the wedding rings your father had given her. Europe had changed her into someone who you didn’t know and who didn’t seem to want to introduce herself to you. Nothing you drew seemed to capture the middle between who she was and who she is now. You realized in her profile that you weren’t a part of her life anymore, that she didn’t want you there. You were as strange to her as she was to you. You passed each other like ghosts in the hall, almost recognizable but hauntingly foreign.

The day before your final piece for submission was due; you got a letter from Steve. It only had one sentence.

“I should have asked you to stay.”

It was all you needed to hear to be inspired. You made your final project a tribute to him, mixing memories with unfinished letters building into his face. You used plain black ink to sketch his profile on the surface of the mess, building him into your loneliness. You only had your memory to recreate his face and your own letters to fill the canvas. Still, it was the only thing you’d done the whole time you were in the country that you were actually proud of. You didn’t finish it until the sun rose and you handed it off to be judged without a second thought, bleary eyed and exhausted.

You were on a plane home by the wee hours of July 4th.

Hawkins was a depressing place. After graduation, Steve found himself listless and at the hands of his father. He was a failure, a disgrace of a son. He was unready to start into the family business. His grades were pathetic. He had to get a job. Of course, with no job experience and late to the game, no decent place wanted him. The new mall only offered him one place of employment, Scoops Ahoy. And the uniform was embarrassing. Stupid sailor shirts and matching shorts, fucking knee socks and a corny paper hat. He looked like a certified geek. And his co-worker was a freak. Robin fucking Buckley did nothing but bug him all shift. It didn’t help that he had no friends without you, even Dustin had left for some nerdy science camp after the school year ended.

He was alone and lonely.

He tried to write you a half dozen times. But nothing seemed to make sense, nothing was worth telling you. What was he supposed to tell you? That he had become an even bigger loser overnight? He felt so utterly pathetic. He just wanted things to go back to the way things were. But what did that even looked like anymore? It wasn’t a life with Nancy, she’d dumped his ass, and it wasn’t a life with you, you’d left him for a different continent. He didn’t have a clue where he was going anymore. So he did what any lonely, practically friendless teenager did-he worked his ass off. Eight hours every day in the mall with smart ass Robin Buckley, waiting for the ground to suck him up. And sure, he tried to hit on the girls his age that came around. It was a good distraction from his broken heart. He’d made up his mind that he was ready to move on and try to date again. That he needed a girlfriend. That he needed to be cool again.

And then, Dustin came back and Hawkins started acting up again. He thought it was over. Those damn dogs were gone, the thing was closed, the kid was safe and acting like a kid. Everything had gone back to as close to normal as he’d seen it in awhile. But Dustin just had to find a secret code and Buckley just had to decode it and Lucas’s bitchy little sister just had to be small enough to fit into the vents and find a secret Russian elevator. And they just had to get stuck in it.

He couldn’t keep that damn kid from seeking out trouble. And yeah, it was kind of fun in a scared shitless kind of way, but it wasn’t worth getting drugged and beaten up and nearly dying for. And it certainly wasn’t worth getting tricked into thinking that he had feelings for fucking Robin. He could murder that kid for getting it in his head that he liked that girl. Robin was cool; he wouldn’t pretend that she wasn’t a decent friend to have at the end of the world. But he didn’t need the embarrassment of trying to ask out a lesbian. At least the reason for her rejecting him wasn’t that he was unattractive or lame, just that she didn’t dig dudes. He was cool with that. And at least he got to punch out a communist. If he could tell his father that without going to prison or being murdered by a Russian goon, he’d be proud. Fuck that, he was proud. He won a fight! He beat up a Russian spy! More than one, he beat some up while drugged out; at least he thought he did. He couldn’t remember much, other than watching Back to the Future with Robin. That movie was too confusing. And then he stole a car, he saved Nancy’s life, he set up that weird tower thing for Dustin-there was too much going on to even recognize how crazy he sounded. How crazy all of this sounded.

And then, the mall was on fire.

Your flight landed on the fourth of July at about ten fifteen in the evening. It took about forty-five minutes to get from the Indianapolis International Airport back to Hawkins. You were buzzing. Seven words had given you all the hope you needed to push you back to the states. Every fibre of your being was alive with energy, with excitement. You couldn’t wait for your grandfather to park the car, you jumped out as soon as you were settled in the driveway.

“Don’t you want to go upstairs and unpack?” your grandmother called after you as you booked it down the driveway.

You turned back “No, I’ll be back later!” you called. Steve’s car wasn’t in the driveway but you figured if anyone was home they’d know where he was. You bounded up the stairs, ringing the doorbell twice.

Mrs. Harrington came to the door in her bathrobe. “Oh, hello there…” she trailed off, obviously unable to remember your name.

“Y/N, hi it’s nice to see you, do you know where Steve is?” you asked, bouncing from your heels to your toes.

Mrs. Harrington narrowed her eyes “He’s at his job I assume. At the mall.” She said slowly.

“What mall?” you demanded. Mrs. Harrington’s eyes blew wide open and you realized that you were probably coming off like an insane person. “Sorry, I’ve been out of the country for about a month.”

“It’s where the Hawkins Laboratories were, off East Wood Road.” She pointed out the door towards the roads. You knew instantly that the fastest way to get there was through the woods. You ran through the backyards of your neighbours and into the woods. You didn’t like the Hawkins forests. They were dark and dim and poorly maintained. The county hadn’t been out to cut down potentially problematic trees on the few hiking paths in the woods.  Burs caught your socks and twigs scratched your legs as you hopped logs to try to get there faster. They’d carved a road through the woods, you’d found it halfway to the mall, deserted and blocked off. You could see the bright orange flames from a mile away.

Your heart stopped dead in your chest. Steve was in there. You could cry.

Instead, you hopped the blockade, running down the road despite the calls of passing fire trucks and police. You didn’t care if they tried to arrest you, although you doubted that they could. It would be a waste of time to bother with you during an emergency.

The parking lot was filled with emergency vehicles. Massive streams of water were attacking the building. Luckily, it seemed the mall was closed, judging by the few people who were milling around not in uniforms. You sprinted into the crowd, looking around frantically.

Steve had been ushered into the back of an ambulance and draped in a bright orange emergency blanket. It wasn’t that cold but he felt as though he was freezing. The EMTs had checked his vitals and disinfected the wounds on his face and knees. As for the remaining drugs in his system, he chose not to mention them. He knew that the high would wear off eventually. Robin was sat next to him, equally bandaged up and silent, save an uncontrollable shiver. Wordlessly, Steve took the blanket off his shoulders and placed it over hers. He wasn’t that cold. Moreover, he just felt numb. He’d had this happen so many times; his face beat in, an otherworldly thing trying to destroy his life and hurt his family, a major building destroyed-it all felt familiar. It made him sick to his stomach to know that it was familiar. If he had anything left in his stomach he would’ve thrown up.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something running towards him. At first, he tensed. He didn’t know what it was and it could probably kill him. His heart stopped and then raced wildly. He held out an arm to protect Robin and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Steve!” you cried. He was in an ambulance. He was hurt. He was alive. You felt as if you could cry. In the span of fifteen minutes he’d gone from working to escaping a fiery building to missing in a fire to simply hurt. And hurt was just fine, you could handle hurt.

“Oh my god Steve, are you okay? Are you alright? I love you so much…”You grabbed his face, examining the bruises. You pulled him tightly to your chest, trying not to cry or freak out. You knew it wouldn’t help.

“I love you too…” he breathed into your ear, pulling you close to him. He recognized you by the smell of your hair, the feeling of your arms around him. He could cry. He didn’t believe you were real. But when you pulled away and his hand came to your face. You were real. And you were here. And he was safe. He was safe and alive. Feelings of relief rushed through his body. He wanted to cry, but the shock was too overwhelming for a tear to even drop.

“What’re you doing here?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper and hoarser than he’d ever felt it. “I thought you were still in Paris.”

“I came home early,” you chuckled, pressing a kiss to his jaw bone. “I didn’t get in.” That was the nicer version, the judges laughed at your final piece, they called it pedestrian. You should’ve been more upset, your mother was furious, but you couldn’t have cared less. You were free to go home. You could’ve thanked them for rejecting you.

Steve pulled away, looking you squarely in the eye. He wouldn’t have you give up on school to hang out with him in bum fuck Indiana. But you were telling the truth, it was written plainly all over your face. “Those bastards…” Steve murmured. You laughed, your eyes watery and throat thick. You were overwhelmed. You expected to come home and just see him in his element. You expected him to not necessarily want to see you. You didn’t expect a fire or Steve being injured or Steve to even be there at all. You pulled Steve back into your arms, you didn’t want to let go.

“I missed you so much…” you whispered. Steve’s arms came around your hips, pulling you in between his legs. He needed you here, to keep you in place for awhile.

“I missed you too…” he said, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “Did you get my letter?”

You looked up “Yeah I did…” you said “I wish I had written you, I tried so many times but I couldn’t find the words and-” Steve kissed you hard, stealing the words from his throat. He didn’t care if you didn’t write him back; this was the best thing he could’ve gotten from you. A letter wouldn’t do it justice.

You were lit up by his kiss. This is what you needed. No words could do the feelings he expressed in his kiss justice. You felt alive. You felt at home. Steve tried to pull away, but you pulled him back by his shirt, kissing him as if your life depended on it. Maybe it did. You couldn’t be sure anymore.

A loud clearing of one’s throat interrupted you and you pulled away to see Robin waving awkwardly. “Oh hey Buckley…” you muttered awkwardly. “How’s Samantha?”

“No clue, she never called me back.” The younger girl shrugged nonchalantly, hopping down from the ambulance deck. “I’ll catch ya later, Harrington.”

You turned your attention back to Steve, looking down at the material still in your fists. He looked ridiculous. “What the fuck are you wearing?” you asked with a laugh. Steve’s hands settled on your lower back, holding you in between his knees as if you’d run off if he didn’t.

“Oh this? This has been my whole summer.” He groaned “I’ve been captaining a boat on an ocean of flavours.” You couldn’t help but cackle, you had no idea what he was talking about but he seemed so serious.  

“And by that you mean?” you lifted the fake red neckerchief attached to his shirt, running the material between your thumb and forefinger.

“Ice cream store in the mall,” he pointed to the embroidered Scoops Ahoy logo on his breast.

“You’re kidding…” you shook your head as if to shake the idea out of your mind. Steve’s fingers trailed the raggedy edge of your sweatshirt. Well, his sweatshirt, his last name and basketball jersey number were embossed on the back; he could feel the textured design on your lower back.

“I like my sweater,” he chuckled, reaching up to adjust the length of the drawstrings on the hood. You looked away, a bit embarrassed.

“I didn’t mean to keep it I just…missed you,” You replied “You can have it back.”

“Nah, it suits you,” he smirked “Besides, I want my girl in my stuff, it’s cute.”

“Your girl?” you grinned giddily, elbowing him in the ribs. “Since when am I your girl?” You liked the idea of being Steve’s girl. It had a nice ring to it.

Steve smirked, squeezing your hips in his hands. “Oh come on baby, you’ve been my girl for awhile…”

“Oh really? Well, I wouldn’t know since you’ve never asked me…”

You heard a loud yell and turned to see a set of paramedics carrying a stretcher towards you and Steve. They were sprinting and bringing a badly burnt and unconscious Billy Hargrove towards the ambulance you sat on. You quickly moved out of the way. Steve grabbed your hand, allowing you to tug him from the ambulance’s deck.

You only got a brief look at the teenager, but it made your stomach churn violently. You felt ill. You felt Steve squeeze your hand. You turned to look at him and saw how hollow his eyes were. You wrapped your arm around his middle. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” you said, trying to stifle a yawn. You were exhausted from your flight and your run here and the trauma that had smacked you across the face.

Steve noticed anyway “Did you just get here?” he asked, lifting your chin.

“My flight landed at ten, I came to see you as soon as I could.”

“You should’ve gone home to rest, I wouldn’t have been mad at you.” You looked absolutely exhausted. He couldn’t imagine what he looked like.

“I missed you too much to not see you. And what if you had gotten hurt, if you hadn’t made it out then I would’ve never forgiven myself…”

Steve wrapped his arms tightly around you, shielding you from the scene, as more mangled people were brought out. The beast must’ve fallen apart once the brain was destroyed. It looked as though a bomb had gone off. Steve squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted to leave, but he knew that the FBI would be called and he’d have to talk to them again. He wanted you to go home, but that didn’t seem like an option now.  Selfishly, he liked having you there, it was comforting to have you in his arms, squeezing him under his ribs and keeping him calm.

“I’m not gonna get hurt, I’m okay…we’re okay…” You nodded roughly against his chest. You felt as if you were burning up and freezing at the same time. You saw blinks of red flashing lights and sirens as one of the ambulances sped past. You were so thankful that he wasn’t on that ambulance.

“Yeah, I know, I’m not gonna let you out of my sight ever again.” Steve lifted up your chin, raising an eyebrow at you. “What? Last time I did you nearly died and for what? A shit job in the mall?”

“Well, not just for a job, I was helping Robin and a couple kids who were with us,” That wasn’t the whole story. Steve knew he’d have to tell you eventually about everything, but for now he was more than comfortable ignoring the looming problem beneath their feet.

“What a hero…” you giggled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Something had been bothering Steve for awhile now and he determined now was the best time to tackle the subject. He turned away from you, folding his hands in his lap.

“Did you mean it when you said that you loved me?” he asked quietly. Truthfully, he wasn’t certain that you meant it. Or if he had even heard you correctly. After Nancy, he wasn’t sure if anyone actually loved him back. He’d given so much of his heart away only to have it tossed to the floor and tread upon like it was nothing more than a cigarette butt. He wasn’t sure if he could trust that you meant it.

You let out a small sigh through your nose, crossing your arms over your chest. You were a bit embarrassed. You were half hoping that he would forget about it. Your response brought all of Steve’s hopes crashing down. “Yeah, yeah I do,” you admitted, rubbing your arms, having suddenly gone cold. “I will admit, I hadn’t planned on saying that this early, feels a bit middle school to say that you love someone before they’re even your boyfriend.”

Steve turned to look at you once again, a bit surprised. Your face had gone red, adorably red, but still very red and your gaze had turned down to the asphalt at your feet. He reached out and took your hand, interlacing your fingers with his. “Good,” he said with a smile. You turned up to look at him; brow furrowed “I thought I had like imagined it.”

“Oh…no you’re good.” You said slowly. He looked like a little puppy dog, his whole face was radiating sunshine; it was almost hard to look at. It was harder to not match his energy, to get drunk off it. Then again, no one was stopping you from just enjoying the moment. You let out a small breath, not so much heavy with sadness or regret, but simply exhaustion. You let your head rest on his shoulder, smiling softly despite the scene in front of you. If it weren’t for the smouldering building and the emergency vehicles surrounding the pair of you, it would almost be romantic. The fact that you were even trying to find romance in the scene felt a bit silly, but maybe that was what this was supposed to feel like. Finding love in a burning building was a bit dramatic, it certainly not what you’d expected for your life, but you determined that no matter what you’d keep Steve safe. You had no idea what was going on at this scene, you had no idea what happened. But no matter how scared you were, you knew that Steve must’ve been even more scared. You knew that you couldn’t protect him, the same way that he couldn’t protect you, but maybe together you could keep each other safe for awhile.

“I love you too, you know,” Steve said quietly, his gaze trailed on the smoke of grey smoke coming up off the extinguished fire. The front of the mall had crumbled and the giant neon ‘Star-Court Mall’ sign shattered on the pavement. You hadn’t seen the mall before the fire, you didn’t know what it was supposed to look like, but a cavernous jagged mouth probably wasn’t the design goal. Still, you turned your attention to the side of Steve’s face. He couldn’t face you, the tips of his ears bright red underneath his flat, sweaty hair.

You swallowed hard “I know,” you say softly. Steve turned to look at you, examining your face with a nervous expression. You smiled and nodded reassuringly “I know.” Steve smiled and laced his fingers with yours. He squeezed your hand tightly in his and you squeezed his back, the feeling of his hand squeezing yours the only feeling left in your body beyond the giddy buzz. You didn’t know how any of this worked, you didn’t know if you were doing this right, if there was a right way to do it. The buzz under your skin was two parts anxiety and one part excitement. But you didn’t pull away. You were glued to his side.

“You know, I think that was one of the first normal conversations we’ve ever had,” Steve mused.

You scoffed loudly rolling your eyes “That was not normal.

Steve shook his head with a small laugh “Yeah, I know…”