#I think the time loop-like idea of headspace opens up so many possibilities that we are not considering

[dannybobany]

Hey omori fans! new genre of omori au that we should be making:

Previous iteration of headspace where Sunny got bored and decided to do a themed one, think about it right? There’s been dozens of different headspaces over the four years Sunny isolated himself he couldn’t have literally been doing the exact same thing the entire time right?

If the cycle can repeat in as little time as three days IMAGINE HOW MANY THAT MUST BE OVER FOUR YEARS And to be entirely fair it is said that this particular iteration is shorter then usual but even still I can’t imagine one headspace adventure ever lasted more then a week or two

Maybe one time Sunny decided he wanted a sc-fi headspace or a steampunk headspace, THE POSSIBILITIES ARE INFINITE PEOPLE!!!

(And yes, I did realize halfway through typing this that this is just the undertale au phenomenon.. but should that stop you? Absolutely not)

Me? I wanna make one where sunny got bored of how PG everything was so he made headspace gothic grimdark, the characters are allowed to curse now and the enemies bleed but.. like in the way a 13 year old boy would think is cool … right? That’s funny to me and I would absolutely like to make designs for it

But there’s so many ideas someone could do here, where was the truth contained? What areas are new and what’s consistent? What form do the keys take?

Omori fans I WANT TO SEE THIS. It’s crack it’s absolutely crack!! but do it anyway because it can also be fun !!!!

[vulpixisananimal]

<Null> {Mal Du Pays} (Siffrin) [Loop] [(Siffrin?)] [ACT 2 , BETWEEN CHAPTER 43.2 AND 44]

{Who are you. You held the new presence by the cloak. Fake smile. Fake. You thought this was Loop. Loop who was acting strange.}

[(. . . I, I'm S-)]

{I heard you the first time.}

[(Oh haha! It's ok to be hard of hearing. I'm hear to help a-)]

{Shut. Up.}

[(. . . .)]

{. . . Do you know where you are.}

[(. . . No.)]

{You're in bed. We're in bed. We're drifting off to sleep, soon with Isabeau next to us. Far, far from the house-}

[(Liar.)]

{. . . ?}

[(You're lying to me. I'm hallucinating. This is a nightmare. The housemaid will wake me up soon. We'll find the water. The keys. The fire. The-)]

{Stop.}

{It was cold. Quiet. The new one looked like Siffrin. And maybe acted like Siffrin once upon a time, but not any more. The smile was still there. We're not in the house anymore.}

[(. . . . .)]

{. . . . You feel like loop. Why.}

[(I'm nothing like that star.)]

[(I'm nothing like that coward. I'm nothing like that fool. I'm nothing like that, like that weak part of myself. They will never get their wish, MY wish.)]

{They kissed Isabeau.}

[(Because of that shared body. He doesn't love us. We're just manipulating him. Getting him to fall for us by copying those cute mannerisms of a Siffrin long gone. I. Am. Siffrin.)]

{. . . You're who Loop was, who they were before-}

[(And what are you? Shadow? Sadness? You're a disgrace. A joke. A sick freak who doesn't deserve love or forgiveness. Protect everyone? What a joke. You just want an excuse to hurt people and take the fighter all for yourself. You should disappear. Disappear and never return-)]

{Enough.}

[(Maybe you should bite back for once. Could do something good for once. Your dagger is there. You should kill them. Kill them now before they take Siffrins heart-)]

{ENOUGH.}

{You had a theory. You make the call gesture. You wish to talk to loop.}

{. . . . Hmm.}

Ow-

{Loop?}

Not, sure. Maybe.

{The figure was, for lack of a better word, glitched. Are you dissociating?}

Yes I, think so.

{. . . . Do you need a hand.}

F. . . Fine.

{reluctantly, you open your arms. The. . . Loop? Siffrin? The mix of them both, was in your arms. You shuddered.}

{. . . . Breathe?}

Breathe. . . . In. . . . Out. . . .

. . . . . .

You. . . Forced, forced us into, ah, blurriness.

{Like how we get blurry? Unable to tell who is who, but it's. . . You?}

Ha. . . Exa[ctly- oh! You step away from Mal. Your blinding head hurt so, so much. You, weren't sure what just happened. How do I, look.]

{Like a star. You have that star cloak Isabeau gave you now though.}

[Strange. . . I. . . I'm, not sure what just happened.]

{. . . I have an idea. But you need to rest. I'll deal with it.}

[I. . . Fine. I don't want to be here anyways, stars. . .]

{. . . . Once Loop was gone, you return to reality. You get up from bed quietly, careful not to awaken Isabeau, and find the journal you were gifted. You to to the window, to write by moonlight.]

{"Unable to sleep, late night, Loop fronting, strange thoughts and going on in front. Loop was being strange. It was hard to get to front. Eventually got. New headmate."}

{You pause for a second, and look for that little booklet that lady gave you. You looked for something specific in it. . .}

{"booklet page 4, possible subsystem? Loop and not-Siffrin shared body in headspace. Not-siffrin is. ." You pause to look at the booklet again. ". . . Possible persecutor. Handle with care. Talk to. Get me if causing issues."}

{. . . . You sigh. "Loop has many issues. Must. MUST talk about them. Need name for Not-Siffrin. Tell party?"}

{You leave four boxes in the book, and put an X in yours. You didn't want to bother them with it, not yet. . .}

{. . . . You sign off on the journal. Put it away. Then get back into the shared bed. You get closer to Isa. At least he was here, as a silver lining.}

[artificialqueens]

Talk Me Down (Jankie) - Pippin

A/N: welcome to my writing resurrection, it’s been a long time x

Summary: Jan’s a nurse and she thinks her patient looks all too familiar

Word Count: 2839

Content Warning: mentions of physical assault, hospital setting

Title from Talk Me Down by Troye Sivan

feel free to say hi here x

***

Jan couldn’t help but let a small yawn out of her mouth as she checked her phone for the first time since the start of her shift.

No goodnight text from Jackie. Terrible girlfriend conduct.

12:30am on a Friday. Gross.

Just over 6 hours until Jan finished her fifth night shift in a row. She could feel the sleep-deprivation migraine coming on quickly, and before she knew it she felt a cup of water and two paracetamol being pushed into her hands.

“I know that face, sister,” Gigi laughed, taking a minute to sit next to Jan at the nurse’s station and indulge in the small quiet patch they’ve hit, “I have no idea how you still have the capacity to take on five in row, pretty sure I lost that superpower when Crys and I started living together. One can only handle so many days a week of their partner waking up at a normal time and doing normal person things.”

Jan let out a snort in an attempt to hold back her laughter, but she knew what Gigi was saying was true. She loved her job, but saying goodnight to Jackie as the sun rose began to take a toll on Jan after day three. The same could be said for Jackie who, as much as she was proud of Jan, wasn’t the biggest fan of living in the same house as her girlfriend but hardly seeing her. Jan was proud of the career she was beginning to build, but she also missed building her domestic life with Jackie. She missed the little things - waking up together, having breakfast together, going grocery shopping together. They both knew that this part of Jan’s career wouldn’t be forever, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

Gigi and Jan had reached that point in the night where, for the first time during their shift, the emergency department had finally slowed down. Luckily for them, this meant that they had a spare two seconds to focus on something nearly as important as patient wellbeing — caffeine.

“Coffee run?” Jan proposed, watching as Gigi rubbed her temples and threw her head back.

“I can’t leave the floor, I’m the in-charge.” Gigi whined, logging into a computer and starting to type, “with great power comes great responsibility.”

“Abysmal,” Jan chuckled, “double shot latte?”

“You’re a lifesaver.” Gigi grunted in response, not taking her eyes off the patient flow sheet in front of her.

“That’s what they tell me,” Jan sing-songed, “call if you need me!”

In an attempt to keep herself awake, Jan made a mental list of everything she needed to do once she got home - laundry, groceries, sex, get her sleep pattern back to normal-human phase. She relished in the fact that she was about to have five days off; five uninterrupted days at home, sleeping while the sun was down, drinking coffee in the morning, being outside in the warm May sunshine with her favourite person in the world.

When Jan arrived back on the floor, two double shot coffees in hand, she could hear ambulance sirens outside. She picked up her pace, leaving the coffees next to Gigi’s computer before gowning up and stepping into a chaotic trauma room. She weaved her way through less experienced nurses, and made eye contact with Gigi, who was standing at the head of the gurney. Gigi was no stranger to advanced care and was never one to lose her cool on the floor, and yet she looked terrified. Jan always knew it was a dire situation when even Gigi looked overwhelmed. Gigi’s attention was quickly brought back to the nearly lifeless woman lying in front of her, and Jan grabbed a pair of gloves before tuning into the paramedics’ report.

Jan looked the patient up and down - she made note of the way the woman’s body was covered in marks, the way the blood seeped through her torn clothes, the way the bruising on her face made her unrecognisable. Jan didn’t catch all of the handover, she was too busy trying to maintain a patent airway, but certain parts of it were clearer than others. Hell’s Kitchen. Physical assault. Looks mid-to-late twenties. No ID. Jan could feel her heart beginning to pound in her chest as she took another long look at the woman in front of her and noticed the colour of her skin. Beneath the scratches, bruises and blood she could see that it was the same warm, tawny colour she had grown to love - and that’s when Jan felt her breath get caught in her throat.

“Does she have any belongings?” Jan cut off the paramedic talking to Gigi, “a wallet? A purse?” Jan’s anxiety was skyrocketing, and Gigi could feel it radiating off her. Jan’s mind was only focussed on one thing - Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. Jan was no longer thinking rationally, no longer thinking like a nurse - rather like a distressed family member. She studied the woman for a third time - she tried to remember what Jackie was wearing when she walked out the door that morning, if the gold hoops looped through the woman’s ears were the earrings she bought Jackie for Christmas, if the broken nose could possibly belong to her girlfriend. Gigi felt stuck between two worlds - and as much as she desperately wanted to help Jan, the patient in front of her needed her more.

“Step out, Jan. Go and ring Jackie, see if you can get hold of her. Don’t work yourself up for no reason.” Gigi spoke softly, trying not to make a bigger scene than the one Jan was unknowingly making. Jan didn’t acknowledge that Gigi had spoken to her, continuing to inspect the woman for some sort of identifying feature. A tattoo, a freckle - anything.

“Someone needs to take Jan out of the room, please,” no matter how much Gigi wanted to help Jan, she had a team to lead and work to do. Another nurse wrapped an arm around Jan’s waist, and Jan almost looked offended at being told to wait outside, “Jan, I’m sorry, but I need to be in here, and you aren’t in the right headspace to stay. Trauma room 4 is empty, I’ll come and see you when I get a chance.”

**

Jan paced silently in the empty trauma room, her anxiety brewing as yet another phone call to Jackie went through to voicemail. She didn’t know what else she could do, every attempt at contact had been unsuccessful - no one was answering her calls or returning her messages. Just as it felt like her head was about to explode, Jan heard the door to the room click shut and felt a warm hand squeeze her shoulder. Gigi.

“It’s not her,” Gigi’s tone was soft, and Jan felt the weight lift off her shoulders with the news, “too many tattoos.” Jan let out a shaky exhale, full of relief and newfound adrenaline.

“Is she gonna be okay?”

“I think so. Eventually. It’ll take a lot of plastics work,” Gigi hummed, taking out her disheveled bun and retying her raven hair into a high pony, “how are you?”

“Overwhelmed. Drained.” Jan’s response was short and simple, and even though Gigi knew there was more she wanted to say, she didn’t dare push her. Not tonight.

“This was always my biggest fear working in emergency; that someone I loved would come through the door. I was so scared. Just wanted to see something so I knew it wasn’t her. Fucking hell,” Jan sniffled quietly, brushing away a few stray tears, “guess we should get back out there.”

“You should go home. You need to make sure Jackie’s there. You aren’t in the right state of mind to go back on the floor, Jan. I’m telling you this as your in-charge, but more importantly as your friend. Take some time, enjoy your days off, and come back next week.” Jan opened her mouth in protest, somewhat offended that Gigi thought she was incapable of doing her job, but she realised that she was right. She was spent, exhausted even, and she was no longer capable of putting the needs of others before her own. Jan dug the toes of her sneakers into the floor and nodded wordlessly. Just as she was about to leave the room, she felt Gigi’s hand wrap around her wrist.

“Are you right to drive home?” Gigi’s voice was soft; warm and nurturing in Jan’s hour of need, “Crys can come and pick you up.” Jan nodded her head, she could feel her throat constricting in an attempt to hold back another wave of tears.

“Okay. Well, message me when you get home. I’ll call you later.” Gigi pulled Jan into a tight hug before they went their separate ways; and the last thing Jan saw before leaving the floor was Gigi’s shoulders relaxing as she finally got to take a sip of coffee.

**

For Jan, pulling into the parking lot of her building usually came with a sense of relief; it usually reminded her that she was one step closer to a glass of wine, a shower and her bed. But that relief never came. Despite everything that had happened that night, and no matter how much she was looking forward to the benefits of being home; being back nearly 5 hours earlier than she was supposed to made Jan feel uneasy. Her brain, no matter how much she tried to convince it everything was okay, was still in overdrive. She pulled the key from the ignition and rested her head on the steering wheel, once again trying to control her uneven breathing.

It took Jan the better part of 15 minutes to summon the courage and the energy to get out of the car and let herself inside. She waited, albeit impatiently, for the elevator to reach the lobby, and sent Gigi a text during the ascent to her floor. She unlocked the door to her apartment quietly and pushed the door open, letting go of the breath she didn’t know she was holding when she saw Jackie’s keys and purse on the dining table. Jan made a beeline for the bedroom, peaking through the open doorway and feeling the wave of relief finally wash over her when she heard Jackie sleeping soundly, the occasional snore slipping out of her mouth.

They were both home, they were both safe. Everything was okay.

Overcome with emotion, Jan couldn’t help but let the tears roll down her cheeks for the second time that night, quiet sobs filling the kitchen as Jan carefully cradled a freshly poured glass of wine in her hands.

However quiet Jan thought she was, it was evidently not quiet enough. Jan heard her name being called out softly, and she grimaced when the kitchen lights were turned on. Jackie leaned against the dining table, a confused look on her face, clad in just a baggy t-shirt and some black panties. Jan had never been more relieved to see Jackie in her life, leaving her glass on the counter as she walked towards Jackie and pulled the brunette into her arms. Jackie’s arms wrapped around Jan’s waist almost instinctively, pulling her even closer. There had been many times where Jan had come home overwhelmed, teary and distressed, sometimes it was a mix of all three - but she had never come home 5 and a half hours early. Jackie didn’t want to pry, knowing Jan preferred to not bring her work home with her; but she also knew that something big must have happened for Jan to have come home at 1:30 in the morning.

“A woman was brought in by ambulance tonight,” Jan beat Jackie to it, and Jackie felt relieved that she didn’t have to ask. She nodded quietly, so as to let Jan lead the conversation, “someone found her on the street, Jacks. She was assaulted beyond recognition. She looked like you.” Jan cried, and this time it was Jackie who pulled Jan into her arms, rubbing her back and whispering sweet nothings into her ears.

“Gigi wouldn’t let me stay in the room, you didn’t answer the phone - and I assumed the worst. Felt like a million years until Geege told me it wasn’t you. I was terrified.” Nothing more needed to be said. Jackie knew that this had always been Jan’s biggest fear; and that part of it just came to life. Jackie continued to rub Jan’s back in an attempt to soothe her, unsure of what else she could do for Jan in that moment. Jan was openly sobbing into Jackie’s chest, and it wasn’t long before she could feel Jan’s tears beginning to seep through her shirt.

“It’s so stupid,” Jan sniffled, her voice barely audible through the wet cotton beginning to stick to Jackie’s chest, “it wasn’t you, I don’t know why I’m still upset.”

“It’s not stupid, Jan,” Jackie assured her, continuing to rub circles into Jan’s back, “you’re only human. You’re allowed to feel things, you’d be a horrible nurse if you didn’t let yourself get emotional. What happened tonight could have happened to anyone. You’re exhausted, Jan. I’m safe. You’re safe. We’re okay. Everything’s going to be okay,” Jackie crooned, pressing soft kisses to Jan’s hairline, “I’m gonna take tomorrow off work. No work, just us.” Jan pulled her head from the comforts of Jackie’s sternum and looked up at her, eyes glassy and lips pushed into a pout.

“Jackie, don’t be ridicu-”

“I’m not,” Jackie chuckled as she pressed a kiss to Jan’s lips, “work will go on without me.” Jackie relished in the idea of having a three day weekend; and the fact that she got to spend all three days with Jan made it a little bit sweeter. Jan yawned quietly and nodded in defeat - the idea of the two of them having three days off together made her physically, mentally and emotionally relax, and she knew excitement would wash over her when the sun came up.

“Can we make pancakes?” Jan asked softly, looking up at Jackie and batting her lashes. Jackie yawned in response, her eyes starting to feel heavy with exhaustion.

“Of course,” Jackie nodded, “anything you want.”

Jackie took a minute to really look at Jan and noticed the way that the fatigue was starting to weigh her down. Purple bags were starting to develop under Jan’s eyes, which were reddened and beginning to sink back into her skull. As much as she knew that Jan working 12 hour shifts and living off crazy schedules wasn’t forever, Jackie wished that the blonde would be able to catch a break soon. Jackie took Jan’s hand in hers and pulled her towards their bedroom, turning the kitchen lights off on their way through. The pair found comfort in the darkness, just the soft glow of New York City lights peaking through the curtains.

Despite being adamant she could put herself into pyjamas, Jan found her arms being lifted above her head so Jackie could peel off Jan’s navy blue scrub top and replace it with an oversized t-shirt. Jan’s bra, sneakers and scrub pants soon joined her top on the floor, and before she knew it the soft purple comforter was being thrown over her body. Jan felt her muscles relax into the mattress, cocooned amongst the blankets and pillows. She pulled one arm out from the safety of the sheets, patting Jackie’s side of the mattress as if to coax Jackie to join her - not that she needed any convincing. Jackie was more than happy to climb back into bed, but she was even happier to have Jan there with her.

Comfortable silence filled the air as Jan repositioned herself so her back was flush against Jackie’s chest, Jackie’s arms wrapping around Jan’s waist like a reflex. Jackie inhaled deeply, catching the faint scent of Jan’s lavender shampoo and the remnants of her sugary perfume. For Jackie, being cuddled up in bed with her girlfriend for the first time in nearly a week, was home. The small, Hell’s Kitchen apartment Jackie used to live in by herself wasn’t just her house anymore - it was her and Jan’s home. And while it might have been overflowing with mismatched pieces of furniture and dying pot plants, every inch of space was full of love, and Jackie wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Thank you,” Jan whispered, pulling one of Jackie’s hands to her lips and pressing a faint kiss against it, “for everything. I couldn’t do this without you. I love you, so much.”

“I love you too,” Jackie replied, basking in the glow of Jan’s praise and nuzzling her head into the space between Jan’s shoulder and neck, “thank you for living life with me. I’d be a different person without you.”

The room was soon filled with Jan’s deep breaths and soft snores, with the promise of pancakes still lingering in the air. She was safe, Jackie was safe, they were home.

***

[iameverything]

A Conversation: Featurette

“Featurette are Toronto-based duo that was formed by singer Lexie Jay and drummer, Jon Fedorsen. Like their synth-heavy dream pop contemporaries Phantogram and Tove Lo, FEATURETTE are influenced by the emotionally charged, heavy hitting electro-pop sounds coming from Northern Europe and New Zealand.”

First off, you recently released your new music video 'White Rabbit' and its damn mesmerizing, from the colors, to the costume (the rabbit costume kind of looks similar to the rabbit that was in The Masked Singer) How has the reception been for the video so far? The reception has been spectacular! Literally the story behind this one was my friend Sharon and I were sitting on a couch and I asked her what could we do that would be one idea, easy to do, that would be super memorable and dark. After much spitballing we came up with grave digging - and the rest is history! People have seemed to really connect with our post apocalyptic/area 51universe we set up so I’m pretty stoked on that :) For a couple of dreamers with 4 hours to shoot, a minimal budget and a crew of 3, I’m honestly so proud of the video. It’s punchy and striking and hits all the high notes!

Are you guys subtly hinting at a Joey Fatone of NSYNC collaboration soon (He was the white rabbit in The Masked Singer)?!!!   OMG I’ve never even seen that!! I just looked it up how crazy!! We’re not, unfortunately haha! It was a dream all our own that I think landed in a very different space! Spoiler alert, the masked rabbit was Jon haha

What was the writing process like for 'White Rabbit'? What inspired it? One of the things that occupies the most space in my brain is the state of our planet right now. I’ve written political and environmental warrior songs before, but this has been by far the most impactful. Of course we masked it with some striking alien visuals to cast a wider net in the video, but really the concept was just about setting the scene for digging a grave for humanity. The lyrics for this one were just like writing poetry for me, it really flowed and came on quite fast - the song itself came together quickly, but then the production was obviously an absolute undertaking. It’s very involved. But what’s neat with that is the further we went down the *cough* rabbit hole *cough* the more inspired we became and the further we pushed the vocal recording. Some of those choirs we built for the background just stack up for days - the outro for example, totally inspired by production because we wanted to create extreme contrast to the electronic heavy-hitting production. The result was pretty striking, it’s something we’re really happy with.

The first time we met, it was an interview you did for JUNNNKTANK (RIP) 2 years ago, when you released the song '//Bang//'. It's been too long, how has it been going since then? RIP Indeed! So much has happened - it’s been fairly internal for us, we’ve been writing non-stop to finish up this album coming out in Jan, 2020!! To recap the year: We released Million Things and the cat-filled 90’s dance troop music vid to back that up in the spring, followed by some shows. Then came the single Don’t Know Me Without You followed by the GORGEOUS black and white music video, followed by a fall tour supporting that. Then came White Rabbit and the aforementioned music video for that which we paired with the sold out Mother Mother show at the end of our fall tour. What a blast!! Now we’re staring down the barrel of the release and I’m stoked!!!

2016 was the last time you guys released your debut album 'Crave' and I must say, as like any other fan, we are 'craving' more albums. When should we expect the next? How is that writing process going? Dude. It’s here - we are like WEEKS AWAY!!! January 2020, PREPARE YOURSELF!! Spoilers in my insta story RUN, DON’T WALK!! hahaha More teasers to come in the coming weeks!!

'//Bang//' being your last video you put out 2 years ago before 'Million Things', what was that like to go back into 'lets make a video' mindset after so long? And what was happening within the middle of that time fame between the two videos? I mean it was a *year and a half* before Million Things if you want to get technical (LOL)  but it was less ‘let’s make a video’ and more…  we’re back. In the middle we were writing the album we’ve been teasing all year - three singles this year, and we’ll give you one more along with the album in January - we’ve climbed a serious mountain! I’m also (pray for me) aiming to make another music video for January. Fun fact, I did the production design and wardrobe/makeup for all videos we put out in 2019 - really love making them so I hope you’ve enjoyed watching them!!

Considering we all change as humans over a course of two years, so four years being a bigger change, and you guys being artists, so having to adjust at a quicker rate to new music trends or ideas, how much of a change from style and writing can fans expect for the next album? The album coming is very like the singles we put out this year. We tried to show as much breadth as possible - Million Things being the ‘indie pop’ side, with lots of punch, upbeat, fun etc. and then we hit the ‘deep album track’ end of thing with DKMWY. That one was darker, moodier, heavily electronic but still in your face. More recently we showed White Rabbit which was like our ‘art track’ for the album. You can expect more in each category of those! We’ve got 9 songs, and we honestly cover so much ground, while trying to maintain our sound. I think the sonic place we’ve landed is very much still FEATURETTE, but louder. More confident, more to say, we found our voice. You know?

Whats the secret to keeping content fresh and not falling within the loop of same old or losing inspiration? Omg I’m not even worried about that at all - Jon and I write all the time. We have maybe 50 songs we’ve written that are either waiting in the wings, or just something we had to get out after a crazy session at 3am haha! I think when you write all the time you can find what you start to gravitate too, and then working to develop those ideas you can start to find things that work. And those even inspire new songs! We don’t see this as our job, so we never get tired of it, which helps keep it fresh for sure.

Speaking of new, you guys released another music video titled 'Dont Know Me Without You' and you mentioned in another interview it was darker than your last single 'Million Things', is there certain head space you guys have to be in to write those kind of songs perhaps seclusion? How has the reception been from Fans and even music execs to that single in particular with its dark undertone? It’s honestly the opposite! I have to be in the headspace to write Million Things because I’m *always* in the dark headspace haha! It’s not a bad thing I just naturally gravitate towards darker music and minor songs. I think you still need the upbeat side, but I think if you listen closely to the lyrics, you’ll find they are still super dark. The track might be upbeat and major, but the lyrics are some of the saddest I write to balance that out. We’re a dark electro-pop band, we like it moody and creepy. What’s super cool is now there are the Billie Eilish’s of the world blowing up, which opens up a window for all us ‘creatures of the night’ to crawl through!

You recently were on tour and ended your tour in Kitchener with Mother Mother. How was that to open for such a cool band? How did your tour go overall? Tour was great - absolutely fantastic vibes every night, we can’t wait to get back out there next year. Playing to large audiences though like the Mother Mother show - we T H R I V E on that. The more energy in the room the harder we’ll give it back. Doesn’t matter if it’s to 8 people or 800! We actually were able to write with Ryan from Mother Mother in the summer, so it was so great to follow up with a show with them! Amazing energy.

Whats the next tour you guys have planned? We’re cooking something up for 2020 - stay tuned!!

It's really cool and inspiring to see how far you have come from, singles like '//Broken//' to 'White Rabbit', as someone who has seen Featurette flourish  from more than just a 'feature' to open up for a bigger act, to the act itself and the main event on a bigger stage, I'd like to think 2020, is the year bands like Mother Mother open up for you. How much growth have you guys been through since coming together as Featurette and have you guys ever had to overcome any doubt in the past of continuing as a band? I think any person who runs their own business or project of any kind will have doubts along the way. It’s human to doubt ourselves, but for me, it’s what I take from those moments and what I can do with those feelings that spurs me forward. How can I turn that moment into a song, because it’s so relatable right? Artists especially - it’s like the wild west! When you’re independent, you have no idea what we’re doing, or if you're doing it right or wrong. Every ’next level’ you get to you just find out how many more there are to go. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, and honestly I think we’ve found our stride. When we put out Crave we were literal babies. Like the first thing we ever did was come out with an album we made all by ourselves, completely independently. That’s actually mind-blowing to me now! We could have shopped that around, built a team, but we were like: Here we are! And I love that about us. Now we’ve gone away, thought about what we want to put out in this world, and made something beautiful that I couldn’t be more proud of. I have no idea where it will take us, but I hope to have you pose the same question in a year or two and be able to give you the most insane answer about whatever ’next level’ we’re on by then. In short, we’re in it to win it, whatever that looks like for us.

Lastly, lets play rapid fire with five random questions give the answer that comes to mind first If you were not called Featurette what else would you want to be called? Futurette - because that’s what everyone thinks our band name is anyway :p… I should buy that domain… Favorite current song that isn't your own? Petit Biscuit - Wide Awake Worst question you dislike being asked? Are you guys a couple? Mind yo own beezwaxxx ! Little secret fact about you guys not many know? Alternate passions to music: Lex - Crazy Plant Lady Jon: Hockey-aholic Whats next? ALBUM TIME GUYS - JANUARY BAYBEEEE!

[rationalsanskar]

This is why mindfulness isn’t working for you

March Mindfulness is our new series that examines the explosive growth in mindfulness and meditation technology — culminating in Mashable’s groundbreaking meditation bracket contest. Because March shouldn’t be all madness.

In a culture obsessed with self-care, feeling like you’ve failed at the practice of mindfulness can breed unique feelings of frustration, resentment, and even shame. 

It seems so simple: Quietly observing your thoughts, you remain open to and curious about the present moment without judging the ideas that ping back and forth in your consciousness. You expect to experience the benefits that research says mindfulness can offer, including reduced stress, increased attentional focus, less emotional volatility, and improved relationship satisfaction. 

Except, for some people, that’s not what happens. They might find it hard to stay in the present moment, feel anxious after attempting mindfulness, and abandon their practice. Such frustration is often rooted in a misunderstanding of how mindfulness works, and what it’s meant to do, say experts. People’s expectations of mindfulness are sometimes far higher than what the tool could ever deliver. 

“There’s a lot of hype and buzz around mindfulness,” says Alex Haley, assistant professor and mindfulness program lead at the University of Minnesota’s Earl E. Bakken Center for Spirituality & Healing. “[People think] everywhere I turn it’s mindfulness-based something. I’m going to have all these expectations that mindfulness is a cure-all, that it’s a panacea. It’s not. There are limits to what it’s able to do.” 

Those misconceptions can be cleared up with just a little research. Yet there’s another, more complex reason why some people feel mindfulness isn’t effective. An emerging field of research is exploring how people who’ve experienced trauma may feel significantly worse during or after mindfulness practice. Researchers working to understand that dynamic believe it’s still possible to use mindfulness approaches, just with important modifications. 

So before giving up on mindfulness, or feeling ashamed that mindfulness isn’t producing the results you wanted, make sure you’ve considered the following things: 

What does mindfulness even mean? 

Mindfulness has multiple definitions and those can look different depending on your teacher, or whether you’re getting mindfulness tips or instruction from an app, best-selling book, YouTube channel, Instagram influencer, yoga class, or news stories like this one. 

“Mindful awareness is paying attention to present moment experiences with openness, curiosity, and a willingness to be.” 

Perhaps the most widely-known definition of the secular practice of mindfulness comes from researcher and meditation teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn, who said: “Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”

Though Haley uses Kabat-Zinn’s definition, he frequently invokes another one from Diana Winston, director of mindfulness education at UCLA Semel Institute’s Mindful Awareness Research Center: “Mindful awareness is paying attention to present moment experiences with openness, curiosity, and a willingness to be with what is.” 

J. David Creswell, an associate professor of psychology at Carnegie Mellon University who studies mindfulness, thinks of it as an “open or present attention to your present situation.” 

While different from each other, these definitions share a core element: attention to the present. If you embrace one definition over another, just remember that it’s meant to help you understand how to practice mindfulness, and it’s fine to consider what it might leave out. This approach will help guide your practice and refine your expectations.   

“It’s not unicorns and rainbows”

Creswell says popular misconceptions of mindfulness portray it as a tool for relaxation or “blissing out.”  

“It’s not unicorns and rainbows,” he says. “I liken mindfulness meditation practices to aerobic practices for the brain. [Exercising] hurts, it’s a little unpleasant, but at the same time it’s building muscle. With mindfulness, you’re building a brain that’s more resilient.” 

That mental strength develops over time as you focus the brain’s attention on the present moment and learn how to observe positive, negative, and neutral feelings without being carried away by any of them. This is no easy task for human beings, whose powerful thoughts and feelings can rip them from the present moment and thrust them into a stream of consciousness that’s confusing, exhilarating, fulfilling, or exhausting. 

Some people mistake mindfulness as a surefire way to avoid that overwhelming experience, but Creswell says that’s not the case. Developing mindfulness skills can mean, for example, staying observant and curious about what’s happening when you’re having a panic attack. From Creswell’s perspective, the goal is to cultivate “equanimity” in the face of uncomfortable experiences. That objective is why mindfulness is so frequently associated with formal, seated meditation, which can prompt physical discomfort and mental fatigue. 

Why should this make me feel better? 

Haley believes that mindfulness works because it puts people in a different state of mind, one where they’re actively aware of and paying attention to events happening in the present moment. As they take in that information, they better understand the situation and can make a choice about how to respond. With regular practice, this can create a “positive feedback loop” that leads to more moments of mindfulness, and our resulting choices become wiser and more compassionate, says Haley. 

“It allows us to understand our experiences, and most importantly, is the choice to how we respond to the things we’re feeling,” says Haley. “If we notice things that are really challenging, we can say, ‘I want to make a different choice.'” 

“If we notice things that are really challenging, we can say, ‘I want to make a different choice.'” 

That sense of agency is empowering, but it’s important to know that mindfulness is a state of mind that comes and goes.  Feeling calm and observant one day and at the mercy of your thoughts and emotions the next doesn’t mean you’ve failed at mindfulness. It just presents another opportunity to strengthen your skills, or to try again the following day. 

Haley says frustration and difficulty with mindfulness can come from overly strict ideas about how to practice it. People commonly believe that mindfulness means you must practice formal, seated meditation, but Haley says that’s just one option. He sometimes recommends people start with movement by observing how their body feels when its been moving for long periods of time. Haley also relies on a slight variation of the “STOP” technique in which you slow down, take a breath and extend the exhale, observe what’s happening in the body, and consider the possibilities before proceeding. That approach can shift people into a state of mindfulness and away from being reactive. 

Creswell’s own research has found that there are three types of evidence-based mindfulness programs: an 8-week mindfulness-based stress reduction course founded by Kabat-Zinn and offered by credentialed instructors around the world; apps like Headspace and Calm that use teachers trained in mindfulness; and mindfulness meditation retreats. Creswell recommends exploring various options to find research-backed programming and resources, or a qualified teacher.

What if mindfulness still isn’t working for me? 

Despite the clear benefits of mindfulness, science still can’t say who might benefit most or least from the practice. Creswell says it’ll be five or 10 years before researchers can confidently answer that question. In the meantime, some scientists and meditation practitioners who study mindfulness are focusing on the possibility that mindfulness might actually create the possibility of harm for some people who try it, particularly those with a history of trauma. 

David Treleaven, author of Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing, says that for some people struggling with trauma the basic tenets of mindful meditation practice, including focusing on the breath and remaining still for periods of time, can actually exacerbate trauma symptoms. Paying close attention to anxious or threatening feelings may heighten the body’s fight-or-flight stress response, elicit intrusive thoughts of harm or danger, and prompt flashbacks to traumatic events. 

For some, focusing on trauma symptoms because they’re happening in the present moment can lead to physical immobilization akin to freezing in place. Treleaven describes that response as a “deeply wired survival response in humans.”  

A meditation teacher unaware of these dynamics might insist that remaining curious and nonjudgmental about these sensations is a necessary part of mindfulness meditation. 

“People feel isolated and ashamed that a practice that seems to be working for so many people isn’t working for them.”

While Treleaven believes that mindfulness can be very beneficial for people who’ve lived through trauma, he disagrees with an approach that diminishes or minimizes their unique experiences. 

“People feel isolated and ashamed that a practice that seems to be working for so many people isn’t working for them,” he says. “They end up feeling like, ‘I’m broken beyond a point that even meditation can’t work for me.'” 

Treleaven instead advocates for adjustments to mindfulness meditation. He urges people to take breaks as needed in favor of pursuing lengthy sessions or weeks-long meditation streaks. He advises teachers against touching students without their explicit permission. If focusing on the breath is anxiety-provoking, Treleaven recommends finding an “object or anchor of attention,” like sounds or the feeling of your bottom touching a cushion or the floor. When sitting for long periods of time is uncomfortable for those who’ve experienced trauma-related freezing, Treleaven suggests mindfulness that incorporates movement. 

The goal, he says, is to create a consistent practice that builds mindfulness skills while reducing the risk of harm. He recommends people who’ve experienced trauma look for mindfulness resources, classes, and instructors with a trauma-informed approach. 

“It doesn’t need to be a one-size-fits-all practice,” Treleaven says. “We can modify it for people so that it enables them to have a sense of success.” 

No matter why you’re struggling to feel the benefits of mindfulness, that flexibility is key to starting, continuing, or pausing a practice. Mindfulness, after all, is never about perfection. 

This content was originally published here.

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Finding It Hard to Focus? Maybe It’s Not Your Fault

By Casey Schwartz, NY Times, Aug. 14, 2018

It was the big tech equivalent of “drink responsibly” or the gambling industry’s “safer play”; the latest milestone in Silicon Valley’s year of apology. Earlier this month, Facebook and Instagram announced new tools for users to set time limits on their platforms, and a dashboard to monitor one’s daily use, following Google’s introduction of Digital Well Being features.

In doing so the companies seemed to suggest that spending time on the internet is not a desirable, healthy habit, but a pleasurable vice: one that if left uncontrolled may slip into unappealing addiction.

Having secured our attention more completely than ever dreamed, they now are carefully admitting it’s time to give some of it back, so we can meet our children’s eyes unfiltered by Clarendon or Lark; go see a movie in a theater; or contra Apple’s ad for its watch, even go surfing without--heaven forfend--“checking in.”

“The liberation of human attention may be the defining moral and political struggle of our time,” writes James Williams, a technologist turned philosopher and the author of a new book, “Stand Out of Our Light.”

Mr. Williams, 36, should know. During a decade-long tenure at Google, he worked on search advertising, helping perfect a powerful, data-driven advertising model. Gradually, he began to feel that his life story as he knew it was coming unglued, “as though the floor was crumbling under my feet,” he writes.

Mr. Williams compares the current design of our technology to “an entire army of jets and tanks” aimed at capturing and keeping our attention. And the army is winning. We spend the day transfixed by our screens, thumb twitching in the subways and elevators, glancing at traffic lights.

We flaunt and then regret the habit of so-called second screening, when just one at a time isn’t enough, scrolling through our phones’ latest dispatches while watching TV, say.

One study, commissioned by Nokia, found that, as of 2013, we were checking our phones on average 150 times a day. But we touch our phones about 2,617 times, according to a separate 2016 study, conducted by Dscout, a research firm.

Apple has confirmed that users unlock their iPhones an average of 80 times per day. Screens have been inserted where no screens ever were before: over individual tables at McDonald’s; in dressing rooms when one is most exposed; on the backs of taxi seats. For only $12.99, one can purchase an iPhone holster for one’s baby stroller … or (shudder) two.

This is us: eyes glazed, mouth open, neck crooked, trapped in dopamine loops and filter bubbles. Our attention is sold to advertisers, along with our data, and handed back to us tattered and piecemeal.

Mr. Williams, 36, was speaking on Skype from his home in Moscow, where his wife, who works for the United Nations, has been posted for the year.

Originally from Abilene, Tex., he had arrived to work at Google in what could still be called the early days, when the company, in its idealism, was resistant to the age-old advertising model. He left Google in 2013 to conduct doctoral research at Oxford on the philosophy and ethics of attention persuasion in design.

Mr. Williams is now concerned with overwired individuals losing their life purpose.

“In the same way that you pull out a phone to do something and you get distracted, and 30 minutes later you find that you’ve done 10 other things except the thing that you pulled out the phone to do--there’s fragmentation and distraction at that level,” he said. “But I felt like there’s something on a longer-term level that’s harder to keep in view: that longitudinal sense of what you’re about.”

He knew that among that his colleagues, he wasn’t the only one feeling this way. Speaking at a technology conference in Amsterdam last year, Mr. Williams asked the designers in the room, some 250 of them, “How many of you guys want to live in the world that you’re creating? In a world where technology is competing for our attention?”

“Not a single hand went up,” he said.

Mr. Williams is also far from the only example of a former soldier of big tech (to continue the army metaphor) now working to expose its cultural dangers.

In late June, Tristan Harris, a former design ethicist for Google, took the stage at the Aspen Ideas Festival to warn the crowd that what we are facing is no less than an “existential threat” from our very own gadgets.

Red-haired and slight, Mr. Harris, 34, has been playing the role of whistle-blower since he quit Google five years ago. He started the Center for Humane Technology in San Francisco and travels the country, appearing on influential shows and podcasts like “60 Minutes” and “Waking Up,” as well as at glamorous conferences like Aspen, to describe how technology is designed to be irresistible.

He likes a chess analogy. When Facebook or Google points their “supercomputers” toward our minds, he said, “it’s checkmate.”

Back in the more innocent days of 2013, when Mr. Williams and Mr. Harris both still worked at Google, they’d meet in conference rooms and sketch out their thoughts on whiteboards: a concerned club of two at the epicenter of the attention economy.

Since then, both men’s messages have grown in scope and urgency. The constant pull on our attention from technology is no longer just about losing too many hours of our so-called real lives to the diversions of the web. Now, they are telling us, we are at risk of fundamentally losing our moral purpose.

“It’s changing our ability to make sense of what’s true, so we have less and less idea of a shared fabric of truth, of a shared narrative that we all subscribe to,” Mr. Harris said, the day after his Aspen talk. “Without shared truth or shared facts, you get chaos--and people can take control.”

They can also profit, of course, in ways large and small. Indeed, a whole industry has sprung up to combat tech creep. Once-free pleasures like napping are now being monetized by the hour. Those who used to relax with monthly magazines now download guided-meditation apps like Headspace ($399.99 for a lifetime subscription).

HabitLab, developed at Stanford, stages aggressive interventions whenever you enter one of your self-declared danger zones of internet consumption. Having a problem with Reddit sucking away your afternoons? Choose between the “one-minute assassin,” which puts you on a strict 60-second egg timer, and the “scroll freezer,” which creates a bottom in your bottomless scroll--and logs you out once you’ve hit it.

Like Moment, an app that monitors screen time and sends you or loved ones embarrassing notifications detailing exactly how much time has been frittered away on Instagram today, HabitLab gets to know your patterns uncomfortably well in order to do its job. Apparently, we now need our phones to save us from our phones.

Researchers have known for years that there’s a difference between “top-down” attention (the voluntary, effortful decisions we make to pay attention to something of our choice) and “bottom-up” attention, which is when our attention is involuntarily captured by whatever is going on around us: a thunderclap, gunshot or merely the inviting bleep that announces another Twitter notification.

But many of the biggest questions remain unanswered. At the top of that list, no smaller a mystery remains than “the relationship between attention and our conscious experience of the world,” said Jesse Rissman, a neuroscientist whose lab at U.C.L.A. studies attention and memory.

Also unclear: the consequence of all that screen time on our bedraggled neurons. “We don’t understand how modern technology and changes in our culture impact our ability to sustain our attention on our goals,” Dr. Rissman said.

Britt Anderson, a neuroscientist at the University of Waterloo in Canada, went so far as to write a 2011 paper titled “There Is No Such Thing as Attention.”

Dr. Anderson argued that researchers have used the word to apply to so many different behaviors--attention span, attention deficit, selective attention and spatial attention, to name a few--that it has become essentially meaningless, even at the very moment when it’s more relevant than ever.

Despite attention’s possible lack of existence, though, many among us mourn its passing.

Katherine Hayles, an English professor at U.C.L.A., has written about the change she sees in students as one from “deep attention,” a state of single-minded absorption that can last for hours, to one of “hyper attention,” which jumps from target to target, preferring to skim the surface of lots of different things than to probe the depths of just one.

At Columbia University, where every student is required to pass a core curriculum with an average of 200 to 300 pages of reading each week, professors have been discussing how to deal with the conspicuous change in students’ ability to get through their assignments. The curriculum has more or less stayed in place, but “we’re constantly thinking about how we’re teaching when attention spans have changed since 50 years ago,” said Lisa Hollibaugh, a dean of academic planning at Columbia.

In the 1990s, 3 to 5 percent of American school-aged children were thought to have what is now called attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. By 2013, that number was 11 percent, and rising, according to data from the National Survey of Children’s Health.

At Tufts University, Nick Seaver, an anthropology professor, just finished his second year of teaching a class he designed called How to Pay Attention. But rather than offering tips for focusing, as one might expect, he set out to train his students to look at attention as a cultural phenomenon--“the way people talk about attention,” Dr. Seaver said, with topics like the “attention economy” or “attention and politics.”

As part of their homework for the “economy” week, Dr. Seaver told his students to analyze how an app or website “captures” their attention and then profits from it.

Morgan Griffiths, 22, chose YouTube. “A lot of the media I consume has to do with ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race,’” Mr. Griffiths said. “And when a lot of those videos end, RuPaul himself pops up at the very end and says, ‘Hey friends, when one video ends, just open the next one, it’s called binge viewing, go ahead, I encourage you.’”

A classmate, Jake Rochford, who chose Tinder, noted the extreme stickiness of a new “super-like” button. “Once the super-like button came into play, I noticed all of the functions as strategies for keeping the app open, instead of strategies for helping me find love,” Mr. Rochford, 21, said. After completing that week’s assignment, he disabled his account.

But Dr. Seaver, 32, is no Luddite.

“Information overload is something that always feels very new but is actually very old,” he said. “Like: ‘It is the 16th century, and there are so many books.’ Or: ‘It is late antiquity and there is so much writing.’

“It can’t be that there are too many things to pay attention to: That doesn’t follow,” he said. “But it could be that there are more things that are trying to actively demand your attention.”

And there is not only the attention we pay to consider, but also the attention we receive.

Sherry Turkle, the M.I.T. sociologist and psychologist, has been writing about our relationship with our technology for decades. Devices that come with us everywhere we go, she argues, introduce a brand new dynamic: Rather than compete with their siblings for their parents’ attention, children are up against iPhones and iPads, Siri and Alexa, Apple watches and computer screens.

Every moment they spend with their parents, they are also spending with their parents’ need to be constantly connected. It is the first generation to be so affected--now 14 to 21 years old--that Dr. Turkle describes in detail in her most recent book, “Reclaiming Conversation.”

“A generation has grown up that has lived a very unsatisfying youth and really does not associate their phones with any kind of glamour, but rather with a sense of deprivation,” she said.

And yet Dr. Turkle is cautiously optimistic. “We’re starting to see people inching their way toward ‘time well spent,’ Apple inching its way toward a mea culpa,” she said. “And the culture itself turning toward a recognition that this can’t go on.”