#I think they will be truly incredible parents

[byemambo]

4Minutes EP. 8 - My Takeaways + Final Thoughts

Man, it still really hasn't hit me that the series is officially over. What a ride we were on for the past two months, and I can't wait to see what's next for everyone involved in this production. In terms of this last post, I think I'm just going to let my train of thought ride out without giving too much focus on the meta within the series, but focusing more on the themes and morals we learned from this series.

Maladaptive Daydreaming: Tyme's Wake Up Call

According to Jes and Bible's thoughts leading up to the final release of the episode, both of then alluded that this episode would wrap up most loose ends in each character and their challenges leading up to each of their own conclusions. What I found very significant in Tyme's NDE (which I highlighted my own interpretation of TymeGreat's respective timelines in my episode 6 takeaways), is this warmth and comfort we were able to visually experience in majority of his interactions and projected scenarios going on in his own head. Although he had moments of awareness in the limbo he's experiencing from the standard visual representation of the 4 minutes of consciousness through the clocks/watches, it seemed like Tyme's deluded life was more straightforward and not prone to time jumps like Great was experiencing, possibly due to Tyme walking down the path by not opening his mother's diary.

In comparison to Great's NDE, there weren't as many violent redirects or jumps by making a poor decision, seemingly showing us that Tyme is making better decisions and achieving their respective results, majority of them sharing the same values of communication, intentionality, optimism, and a natural desire for love and adoration. For someone who grew up with no ties to his parents and only having his grandmother become the primary person to express love and affection for (excluding Nutcha since they ended their relationship on good terms and remain connected through their professionalism and a true desire for them to achieve better outcomes on their own paths), Great becomes evidently another person he carries a a deep and meaningful connection with outside of his family and Den.

In comparison to the person he is in the actual timeline, this Tyme is soft, understanding, high achieving and personal to those around him, naturally translating to a soft and tender love and desire he has for Great. We see this by the natural warm lighting in comparison to the more dim and gritty lighting in the previous episodes when we're observing Great and Tyme's actual timelines. The juxtaposition between the person his subconscious wishes to be versus the person he became from a crossroad as simple and out of the blue as discovering the diary, the characteristics are drastically different. The real Tyme is impersonal, quick to judgment, conniving, which leads him to his demise after endangering the life of Nan by involving her in his scheme, to sacrificing Great's reputation in order to harm his family, which were not the original people who drove his parents to their death and were mistakenly targeted because he misinterpreted the details left behind in his mother's diary. This hate driven act ultimately kills his grandmother as well, the only person he truly wishes to keep out of danger and harm's way.

The moment of realization when he hears Den's voice making attempts to resurrect Tyme was incredibly heart wrenching for me as someone who (although it was not even close to being as violent as what Den went through in that moment of crisis) experienced that pain of a loved one withering away right in front of your eyes at the hands of death. The small detail of Den relaying his research to Tyme after he expressed his guilt for (indirectly/directly) contributing to the Great's critical state seemingly remained in the back of Tyme's mind, but as most people would, his emotions overcome his ability to rationalize the next steps to take while he's basking in his purgatory disgusted as paradise. I know many people were off put by the potential (depending on how deeply you'd want to consider the logistics of the themes in this series) plot hole where Tyme is able to transcend and awaken Great from his 4 minutes as we didn't physically see Great awaken from his comatose state. Personally, it doesn't bother me since I had really analyzed this series from more of its psychological thriller elements rather than fixating on the sci fi alone: I interpreted this moment where the reality of fear in regret kicks in for Tyme and that the inevitable of death is nearing, Den becoming the voice of reason and empowering Tyme to fight for his life.

However along with his own battle, his desire for Great to escape the hands of death is just as strong, especially when you consider all that he knows about the truth behind the death of his parents and the role Great played in the grand scheme of things. For all we know, the only person who knows about Great's involvement in Dome's death at this point in the story is Tonkla, Title and his father who tries to wipe the evidence from the dashcam recording. For all we know: Great became someone who was targeted due to his relations with his family and was harmed due to his involvement with helping Tyme escape after Nan's death at the hands of his father's people, being shot later that same evening without any idea of who was responsible. For all Tyme knows: if Great's family was more than willing to take the lives of his parents, Nan and her friend, as well as countless other families involved in their crimes, would it really be out of the question if Great were to be targeted by his own? Just as Great were willing to show up in attempts to save Tyme from his own demise, Tyme shortly realizes he is more than willing to do the same, even if that means sacrificing the outcome of saving his own life in the process.

The Tale of Two Lovers: Korn's Tragedy

If y'all read my episode 4 and 5 takeaways, I talked in depth which is truly an understatement about Korn as a character within this series and honestly from an overall view: he became one of my favorite interpretations amongst all the morally gray characters within this series. I think inherently, it comes from my understanding in Korn as an individual and how in a matter of nature versus nurture, the nature of his life easily consumed him and forbid his nature to take center stage.

In many of the details about Korn's personality and how his unbringing played a significant role in his downfall, we're revealed many circumstances that contributed to his spiral. Given that the earliest flashback we were able to see on screen was of TymeGreat as children, I found it interesting how we did not see Korn at all, reminding me about the detail that Great and his mother grew up separately from the main household as the mistress with her son (I briefly discuss this in my episode 5 takeaways). There was already a barrier between the two sons, and I'm sure this division only grew further apart once Korn's mother commits suicide and Great's mother is taken in as the new wife and face of the family. Judging from how Korn maintained this level of emotional distance between him and his loved ones, he begins to take on much of the labor his father expected of him as the heir to the family company: which included becoming the head of the "investment" division, appeasing the shareholders and other powerful key players involved in the scheme, and ultimately sacrificing his only outlet of happiness and grounds to a more desirable reality which was Tonkla and his relationship with him.

In my previous takeaways, my impressions of Korn were rather hypercritical and I'm sure for some, coming across as "anti Korn" LOL, however, the way I view Korn as a person is like that one Japanese traditional practice of kintsugi–the repairing of pottery and its cracks and imperfections with precious metals, serving as a reminder of viewing one's past with beauty rather than disgust. Korn is definitely far from perfect, we witnessed this all throughout the entire series leading up to the final episode. However, out of all the characters: Korn's willingness and quick to action when it came to protecting the person who mattered most to him gave me a slight change of heart towards him, especially when I was jumping fences about whether or not Korn was truly in love with Tonkla or was using Tonkla for accessibility to an immediate power dynamic given that as time went on and more damage was done to the company, it felt as though Korn's power was fading and seconds away from escaping his grasp the moment he was given it.

I still feel like many of the fucked up things Korn did in terms of his absence, his anger, his impulsivity, his entitlement to power and strength: I truly believe this is a case of "a person capable of doing bad things" than simply being a "bad" person. This becomes most evident when Korn reunites with Tonkla, the one person who truly is the love of his life and he is willing to do anything to protect him and help make his escape. This sentiment doesn't change the moment Tonkla confesses to harming Korn's own brother, which that exchange between the two while Win holds them at gunpoint was honestly a different level of devastation and distraught that I felt when watching TymeGreat's ending unfold.

Not only are you dealing with ushering your family from being discovered by the authorities, coordinating the disappearance of any physical footprint of the "investment" division, your brother in critical condition in the hospital, your boyfriend's face plastered all over the news after escaping arrest for murder, who confesses himself that he not only cheated on him while dealing with the grieving of his younger brother, but he was also responsible for the same injury your own younger brother is enduring because he was involved with the death of your boyfriend's younger brother. I don't know about y'all per se: but Bas did such an amazing job depicting the level of distraught and complex blends (only naming a few in this instance) of grievance, betrayal, defeat, and overall sadness with a hint of madness that the only thing really able to describe the headspace is he currently occupying is the flames from the man made fire by the homeless in the area. To simply put it in a few words for the conclusion of KornKla's story: mistakes, melancholy, and madness.

Continuity vs Stagnation: The Duty of Accountability

I think we all knew from this finale that we shouldn't anticipate many rainbows and butterflies: there were many feuds and many losses throughout this journey. If we had to sit and name a few of our losses in the span of eight episodes: Manee, Dome, Nan, Title, Tonkla, Korn, Grandma, etc (which doesn't even account for people like Tyme's parents, the investor killed by Warit's people, Manee's son, Nan's friend, etc), I think the most powerful moral of this series is grief and loss. Not simply the experience of grief and loss: but what's expected of us once we accept grief and loss as a part of the human experience.

Honestly, I was shocked to see Great and Tyme reuniting as quickly as they did while paying respects to the loved ones they lose along the way, but it brought me a lot of comfort and relief. In this moment, Great and Tyme become individuals who had a taste of what death has waiting for all of us, an experience one cannot easily shake off, majority probably never do. However, with their own volition and ability to seek out forgiveness for not only each other, but for themselves, I think what's most important is intentionality: the true dividend between individuals like Korn and Tyme versus those like Title and Chanin. Those who have a desire for change and willingness to stretch themselves thin for those they love, versus those who have little to no remorse for their sins, which leads them to having to accept the consequences of their own actions.

I don't think it's out of the question that Great becomes a more morally righteous person, even becoming someone who will choose his morals over the protection of his corrupted family members, something that we witnessed was of hesitation when confronted by Tyme in Great's NDE timeline. After witnessing and enduring the trials and tribulations of his own life, the sacrifices, the lengths of harm and manipulation, the physical experience of bodily pain and suffering, the psychological torture of grappling between what he could have become versus who he became, the physical loss of his older brother and potential brother-in-law, the emotional loss of his own parents: anyone with a strong mind and strong heart has the ability to change the trajectory of their own lives. We are the creators of them after all.

As for Tyme grappling with his own ending: I think it was pretty cool to witness both him and Great having these candid conversations about their very real challenges post NDE. "What would you do?" becomes a question all of us ask ourselves every single day: however, many of us lack the confidence, the motivation, the desire, the goal, whatever it may be that holds us back from taking on whatever it is that life throws at us.

The scene between Tyme and Warit was very powerful to me: not only from the physical condition Warit is enduring from Korn revealing the culprit of the earlier investor's death to the right individual, the literal sounds of the monitor vocalizing the increase of his heart rate at the sight and realization of Tyme in his presence playing angel or devil, life or death, savior or undertaker, the stripping of his power and resource and the sinking in of becoming the powerless individual that was once like Tyme and his own family in his eyes. Witnessing Fasai arriving and mourning for the condition of her father alongside Tyme, it made me wonder if Tyme was facing his own moral dilemma of either avenging his family right then and there, or to let the universe take the reins. It makes me wonder if who he saw in Fasai was himself to his own family and Great, Nan to her friend, all the other individuals who lose their loved ones at the hands of corruption and evil. However, seeing that last cut of the disconnected equipment felt appropriate to Tyme's character in that specific moment: that he has elevated beyond his extremities and cutthroat approaches, but still having the moral obligation to avenge the lives of his family members that were stolen from this singular man.

Concluding Thoughts

If you have been keeping up with my weekly (that's a generous way of putting it but it's ok caus ya girl got ADHD fr but got done, right?) updates on this series, I would like to express my utmost gratitude and appreciation, especially to those who I became mutuals with or have the opportunity to converse alongside you during the release of the airing episodes. I have a genuine passion for things like writing and discussion, along with creating content that gives all of us gentle reminders that the amount of dedication, craft, attention to detail, and pure passion for such productions is loved and respected by so many. I didn't think that so many series this year was going to become such a hyperfixation for me, and honestly, I'm so glad to be a part of it and contribute to the discussion and craze that is all deserving.

To think that since the conclusion of KP and iykyk, it made me so happy to finally see the light of day for Bible to have his moment that we've all been anticipating. Knowing how many iterations, changes, back and forth, waiting games, and other challenges that came our way, I'm very pleased with how the production came out and all who had a hand in its existence. To be introduced to new faces like Jes, to be reacquainted to familiar ones like Job and Bas, to recognizing rising talent such as Fuaiz and Jjay, to becoming invested in the overall message and the goals in mind for those involved with the production of 4MINUTES, I hope this series and the success (and continuing) success of this series will give everyone a chance to bring new ideas to the table, to come together without fear of breaking the formula that is slowly becoming more monotonous due to the intimidation that the fruits of their labor will have little to no return, I think we're starting to return back to our roots as creatives: the power of our own artistic voice and allowing those passions and raw desires to overpower the capital and financial gains that run the industry right now. I can't wait to see more to come, and I hope y'all will continue to support everyone (as least here on tumblr) that will push out more content from 4MINUTES cast, or even other current productions that deserve all the love and praise.

Thank you again and my prediction for myself is the next upcoming hyperfixation will be The Heart Killers or Goddess Bless You from Death...I'm just desperate for FirstKhao and MichaelTopten please don't mind me. I'm also looking forward to GMMTV's 2025 Lineup but we shall see hehehe.

Lots of XOXOXO! :D

[pastafossa]

The last day of 2023.

And holy shit has it been a chaotic ride, one which you all shared with me, or that's what it feels like!

The Major Moments:

Feb: Cato's cancer diagnosis and discovery of weird mutated cells that likely won't be explained until after he passes away. He's still with me, fortunately! No idea how much time he has left but I'm grateful for every second

April: a small leak in my dining room ceiling turned into a bigger leak which turned into a massive hole in the ceiling, at least it wasn't winter???

May: DD Born Again Photos give us all a goddamn heart attack

May: I FUCKING REACH MY OVERALL 1,000,000 WORD COUNT ON AO3. 🎊 🎉 🎊 Next stop is 1mill for TRT!

June: Went to my first con since Covid! Drove all the way down to Philly to see Charlie Cox, WHICH WAS FUCKING AMAZING, HE HELD THE RED THREAD FOR OUR PHOTO, MY FANFIC DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE, AND I TOLD HIM WHAT DD MEANS TO ME AND HE WAS SO NICE I COULD CRY

June: At that same con, I finally FINALLY got to meet my bff @wonderlandmind4 in person after many many many late nights of chatting, and we just CLICKED like we'd been friends for years, which I should have expected, but still! And then I got to meet a bunch of my readers, too! Best con experience EVER

July: enter Whoops Covid Finally Got Me After 3 Years But Charlie Was Worth It ™

July: Finally dusted off my draft of Pasta's First Dark Fic cause even if my brain was too fuzzy to write, I figured I could edit a bit. And I did! And was pretty happy with the results!

August: Shit Now There's A Long Covid Heart Issue And I Can't Be Seen Until Late November Thanks Covid ®

August: leak in the garage leads to me losing about 65% of all the beautiful, special woods pieces I'd gathered over the course of six years for carving. Within a week I am gifted a huge bin of wood from a kind soul at my local witchy shop

Sept: TRT's 6th anniversary!

Nov: I was slowly getting back into the swing of things, doing a bit of writing in between learning to manage whatever was going on with my heart (which we'll hopefully figure out in January when I get all the results of testing in Jan)

Early Dec, and the worst week of my life: mom got sick. Within one day she went from not feeling good to needing an ambulance. By the next day, she was in the ICU - flu induced double pneumonia that was interfering with her breathing and heart issues. And with one more day, she was put into an induced coma and ventilated, without any of us sure if she'd pull through. They told us she'd likely be under for two weeks, potentially longer even if she made it. The amount of messages and supportive comments I got from all of you, the talks I had with @wonderlandmind4 and @shouldbestudying41, just the general sense of having a community to help me means more than I can ever say as you all helped me through that terrible, horrible moment, even if it was just gently messaging me to remind me to try to eat.

Mid Dec: against ALL odds, Mom was off the ventilator in a week. By week 2, she was out of the ICU. By week 3? Off to the physical rehab center. She was there a grand total of 1 week before she was allowed to come home to finish her recovery. Early December was the worst moment of my life, and yet it was also bookended by the best Christmas of my life even if it was spent at the rehab center, because I got to have my mama back, and hug her and tell her I loved her and make jokes, and now she's home and we've been watching Christmas movies and eating grilled cheeses, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what the holiday is to me: not presents and snow and lights, but this moment, this time with her. 'In all the places you find love, it feels like Christmas.'

In just a few hours for me, it'll be 2024. I have no idea what to expect going forward, or even what to plan for, much less a resolution. I know I want to get back to TRT when mom's a bit better (she still needs a lot of help, understandably). I know there are wood carvings I want make; friends I want to visit; witchy events at my local shop I want to go to. But other than that... who knows? If I'm lucky, things will be calmer than this past year. But even if they aren't, at least I know I have dear friends, all of you, and my family, including Pasta Mama, to help me through it.

Goodbye, 2023. Hello, 2024.

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.

[anaalnathrakhs]

people won't fucking FORGET me i can't handle this anymore there's always a friend who wants to go someplace a friend who needs someone to go to the store with a friend who hasn't seen me in a while who wants to hangout, and i can't let those friendships decay i just can't i can't be this kind of asshole again, but it feels so shit it feels like i can't fucking relax cuz there's always something tomorrow something next week and something to do at school between classes and holy SHIT leave me ALONE please fucking stop talking to me i just want to relax and do things i enjoy.

[angelstrawbabie420]

hmm i think i am not coping. very well

[exy101]

rwrb (2023) takes the cake for worst adaptation ive ever seen truly what the fuck was that

[blessedmoonsoul]

francesca amewudah-rivers receiving rave reviews for her incredible performance as Juliet ikdr!!! nothing i love more than watching someone shine regardless of whatever idiots have to say!

[rosicheeks]

Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..

I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.

I was texting my sister today about it and she said

“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”

I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences

[capyclub]

.

[munamania]

i mean it’s just kinda crazy cause. and forgive me if i sound somewhat spoiled here but. this trip im doing to take more credits and get experience and make connections etc is obviously expensive and i talked abt it with my parents. a lot before trying to do it. and somehow my dad didn’t understand that yk we would have to pay for it. ??? and is putting me in this spot of ‘figuring out what we’re gonna do about it’ and it’s like dude. i mean i’m going i paid for my fucking flights you know i’m. regardless i’ll be there. and i make $10/hr i have not been able to work consistently and when you don’t have thousands and thousands of dollars just sitting there accumulating more interest it doesn’t fucking last. like what exactly do you want me to say? i’ll drain all my accounts and give what little i have to you? tldr my main point here is the only way this man truly shows any kind of affection is through money and since he fucked me up im glad to take advantage of that lol like why wouldn’t i. so to have it thrown back in my face is just um an awful feeling. like im not even worth this to you. this is just too much. it truly does feel like someone put a number on love and im just not up there

[anamericansinger]

.

[chrisbangs]

.

[misstycloud]

Imagine yandere vampire hunter finding out he married one of the creatures he vowed to destroy. The very monster he dedicated his entire life to kill.

“…no..i-it can’t be..” his voice was barely a whisper, but you heard it loud and clear as if he was right next to you.

You stood still in the darkness, your face was a mask of indifference. If you hadn’t been blinking he would have mistook you for a statue. It appeared you’d been careless and let yourself be seen- by him no less. You could still feel the warmth of the blood dripping down you chin; a curtain of red fell down the front of your dress and stained it.

“Please tell me this isn’t real..” your husband let his eyes wander to the soon-lifeless body laying not far away. Small puffs of air was seen coming for the person, indicating they were not yet dead. The disgusting sound of gurgling in one’s own blood sent a shiver down his spine. His eyes met yours, searching for any sort of confirmation that everything was indeed a figment of his imagination.

“It is, I’m afraid.” You said.

He let out a devestatd choke, muttering ‘no’ over and over while shaking his head, clearly in denial.

You reminded yourself not to show any emotion and stepped forward. “I will not lie to you and therefor I will utter the clear truth in front of you. I am a vampire.”

“No, no you’re not.” He refused to believe it. If it had been his friend; he would prioritise duty before friendship. If it was his brother; he would do the same. Even if it was his own parents; he would die before letting insensible things such as emotions to come in the way of doing what is right. But this was different. It was you. It can’t be you. It could never be you.

But it was. Clearly. The evidence- the body- was right in front of him; unblinking and unmoving.

“You cannot look away from what is in front of you-“

“Stop saying that!” He suddenly shouted, surprising you with the sudden change in tone. “You can’t be one of….them.” He expressed in great repulsion.

Despite knowing how evil your kind is, you still though of yourself as quite good- well, as good as you can be when you’re a blood sucking, murderous creature of the night. So your husbands disdain awoke some sort of defensiveness in you.

“Well I am. And I have been for a while now.”

He seemed to think for a moment. Then he asked, “how long? How long have you been a…a vampire?” He furrowed his brow at the end, not believing he’d connect ‘you’ and the word ‘vampire’ in his life.

“36 years. Not as long as some others, but it should still count as something.”

“Oh god..”

It meant that you were one since the start- no before- your marriage. Was he truly that blind? Had love taken such hold of him that he could no longer do his job properly?

How many vampires had he killed during you union? All that while simultaneously being wed to one himself. While loving one, caring for one and even making passionate love to one. It was like some fucked-up punishment tailor-made for him.

He knew what he had to do.

The first tear fell down his cheek, betraying his stern expression and showcasing his endless sorrow. “You are evil,” he raised his crossbow, “and now you have to be judged for your crimes.” How ironic of him to talk about committing crimes of slaughter as if he wasn’t doing exactly the same. He wasn’t stupid; not all immortals were pure darkness, it wasn’t that simple. They do what they have to in order to survive. Only some killed more than they had to. Still, it didn’t change the fact that they all need to be destroyed.

Your eyes widened when he pointed the weapon straight at you. You expected this. Of course he would kill you. However, a part of you could not stop from hoping he wouldn’t think of you as a monster. That perhaps you’d finally find somewhere you can call home and be accepted for what you are. It was a naive dream. Weren’t you his wife before you were a monster? Apparently not, because an arrow shot at you at incredible speed. It hit you in the arm and you cried out in pain.

While you had physical advantages, it doesn’t mean you are immune to pain.

Ripping it out, you studied the black liquid staining it. Your husband swore and immediately prepared to launch another. You felt your fangs grow in length and you hissed at him. Throwing yourself at him the two of you rolled around on the floor, each trying to restrain the other. You managed to get ahold of his crossbow and threw it away form his reach.

Your husband quickly dug into his pockets to grab a dagger, and tried to stab you. Luckily you stopped him in time, fighting him with your vampiric strength. You had to give it to him, he was surprisingly strong for a human. Despite you having supernatural gifts, he was definitely a match and you had a hard time holding you down. If it was any other situation you would have been impressed and rather seduced by his sheer strength, unfortunately this was not a good situation for you.

You leaned down, planning to bite him, but his fast reflexes let him use his free arm to keep you at a distance. He was now on the floor with you straddling him and trying with all your might to end his life.

Your husband knocked your heads together which was the distraction he needed to kick you off of him. You clenched you forehead in pain and backed away. But there was no more time to dwell on that pain, because it was minor compared to what you felt next. Agony was in your side, accompanied by the dagger you had previously defended yourself against.

Your lover was close. Enough for you to feel his breath, and enough for you to see tears running down his regretful face.

“Why was it you?”

Whether he referred to you being a vampire or you being the one he married, you did not know. It hardly mattered anyway.

In a way, you did love your husband. It was probably not in the normal spousal way but it was there. Maybe if you weren’t a blood-sucker you two would have been truly happy together. Too bad fate had other plans. Even though it was true that you were probably evil, you wanted to live. And despite the one threatening your existence was none other than the man who’d show a you devotion and love you though t you’d never find again, this was not where you wanted it to end.

With a shriek, you used all your power to push him as hard as you could. He flew backwards into the wall. You supposed he’d fainted from the force since he wasn’t making any move to get up. You clutched your side and groaned. You had to get out of there; somewhere safe.

You stumbled to the window and put your foot on the ledge. The dagger he’d stabbed you with must be silver, otherwise it wouldn’t have made as much damage. The wound in your side burned and sizzled with pain. You had no idea if your body would be able to fully heal you in time for when you need blood again- or even at all.

“Ugh….”

You heard a cough from behind you. It was your dearest. He must be sturdier than he looks to have woken up so quickly. He had rolled over to lay on his stomach and had his arms pathetically stretched in your direction.

“D-don’t go.”

You scoffed at his audacity. “What, so you can finally finish me off?”

He whimpered, “ N-no, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have done that- why did I do that?” The last part appeared to be a criticism on himself. Nevertheless he continued, “please, I won’t do it again. I was wrong, you’re not evil I know that, I don’t know why I said that. I’m so sorry, please..”

A frown adorned your face. “It’s okay. I’m not evil, but I know I’m far from good- I’m not that delusional.” Then you turned back to the view of the outside world.

“Wait, no-“

“I have to go. I really mean it when I say this, ‘thank you for all these years together, they have been the happiest days I am now able to remember’.

“My love, don’t-“

You ignored his pleas as you jumped from the window. You landed in the dirt outside. You looked back at the house which you’d just escaped from and as you prepared to run off to another town and build up a new life (until you’d eventually have to run again) you listened to the scream of the man who’d been your husband for six years.

What was he screaming? What else if not your name.

-

[littlesmartart]

Jiang Yanli 🤝 Jin Zixuan raised by angry controlling mother + distant emotionally unavailable father

I think it's incredibly easy to be sympathetic to Yanli and see how the trauma from her disfunctional parents has shaped her personality and created very specific coping mechanisms, but it makes me sad that people very rarely seem to extend that same sympathy to Zixuan - perhaps because we get to see less of his home life, and it's all filtered through the POV of a protagonist who doesn't like him. at any rate, what is shown is that he has a mother who does not hestitate to publically humiliate him and cares far more about her own interests than his happiness and fulfilment, and a father who... well, it's difficult to imagine JGS having much of a real relationship with/influence over a son who feels as strongly about honour and doing the right thing as Zixuan (see: standing up to Wen Chao, his friendship with and defense of Mianmian, leading the Jin forces during the war, confronting Yanli over believing she stole credit from a servant girl, etc.)

I can just really strongly imagine their relationship blossoming quickly on an emotional level because they both really crave that intimacy they lacked in their childhoods (Yanli had her brothers but she was always parentified and put on a pedastal, Zixuan had Mianmian but how close could they really get with a mother like Jin-furen, likely watching them like a hawk to look for Any Funny Business?), and given that it's canon that they stay up late talking and "tell each other everything", they were starting to break the cycle of horrible resentful marriages that traumatise their kids!!! 🥹🥹🥹 truly they were too powerful to be allowed to live

[rosicheeks]

hiiiiii i hope things get better for you!!! let me know if there’s anything i can do to help, if i could i’d 1000% just show up and cuddle you and tell you it’s gonna be okay… anything you need, i promise i’ll spoil you bc i know you deserve it 💖💖💖

-🌸

Hmmmmm I think a bear hug, some cuddles and $10,000 would really fix me rn

[kiirschtein-archive]

⋆ 「 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢’𝐬 (𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞) 𝐦𝐨𝐦. 」 ⋆

feat. — toji fushiguro x f!reader, kid!megumi

word count. — 1.4k

content. — sfw, non-sorcerer au, established relationship (marriage), mostly just fluffy domestic stuff, reader is addressed as ‘mom/mama/mommy,’ toji’s kind of a bad parent but he’s working on it, brief mention of toji smoking (cigarettes), overprotective!toji, very minor suggestive themes (from toji 🙄 he’s a walking cw/tw)

notes. — idk. this has been incessantly on my brain pretty much from the moment i  woke up today, even to the point where i was writing half of this at  the laundromat lmao. mother’s day yesterday had me feeling some type of way, so here have some fun headcanons from a strange eldest daughter!!!! (i might end up doing a set of these for gojo x reader too 🤔)

⋆ 「 — he’s not your biological son, but you’ve been around since you started seeing toji when megumi was still a baby. but now, a few years later, you might as well be his real mother. you certainly act like it and feel like it, so toji gladly initiates the conversation about official adoption. it just makes sense. you eventually explain the situation to megumi as best as you can simply so that he doesn't grow up thinking he was lied to or anything of the sort, but as far as he's concerned, you're his mom whether it's by blood or not.

⋆ 「 — and oh, megumi’s a mama’s boy. i imagine he’s just a little bit of a healthier kid vs. canon given the better family situation, but he’s still always a bit of a grumpy baby, appreciating his autonomy and trying to be as self-sufficient and mature as he can be. but he’ll most certainly run to you when he needs help, is truly hurt, or just needing a bit of comfort. you’ve always treated him so softly and kindly with understanding, so he honestly feels more comfortable coming to you most of the time instead of his dad.

⋆ 「 — he likes the way you organize the bookshelf in his room or fold and sort his clothes in special little ways. he gets upset any time toji tries to put a book back in the wrong place or can’t figure out where his damn socks are. gumi will scowl and say, “that’s not where it goes.” or go deadpan and be like, “mom always keeps the socks in the bottom drawer.” disappointed that his father can’t even remember. toji just grumbles and says, “your mama’s gonna ruin you.”

⋆ 「 — has called you 'mom' basically since he was old enough, but don't let him fool you. megumi will drop the big boy act and come out with 'mama' or 'mommy' when something's wrong or he's really excited. he'll come to you with quiet tears and sniffles, a little ashamed that he's crying, but present to you a scraped elbow, "mama... it hurts." you clean up the scrape and explain to him the little medical details in a somewhat understandable way to help him focus on something besides the pain, and you tell him that it'll be okay, and that it's alright to cry. or on the flip-side, you and toji take him to the zoo, little gumi on his dad's shoulders, and he gasps and points excitedly, "look, mommy! look at the big elephant!" and it feels incredible to see him be so spirited.

⋆ 「 — along the lines of the art from this post and the thought i had about it earlier, just imagine that you're at some event (maybe like a birthday party or something), and toji's been hauling megumi around. they're both so over it at this point and are like 'please get me out of this' so as soon as toji walks past the obnoxious inflatable bouncy house, he smirks and just YEETS that kid inside without a second thought. after regaining his breath, megumi just looks at his father with the most EVIL little scowl as other kids bounce around him with smiles. by the look on that child's face you could've swore that his father had just done him the ultimate betrayal.

so gumi slides out and hurriedly makes his way over to where you're sitting off to the side, quietly climbing into your lap for a little bit of solace. he wiggles in close to your chest and you tuck him under your chin with a ‘come here, sweetpea,’ rocking slowly and humming something soft because he always seems to like it when you do.

toji comes over and you look at him through narrowed eyes. "kids are supposed to like shit like that," he says.

"you know he likes when things are more quiet," you respond, and toji rolls his eyes at how you seemingly spoil your son.

"just thought it might be good for him to try and get along with the other brats." toji tries to cover up the fact that he tossed his kid for the sheer personal enjoyment of it.

you huff in disbelief. "oh, like you get along so well with everyone?"

he scoffs and moves in behind you, leaning down to place a kiss on your neck. "i get along with you," he says almost suggestively.

you just keep stroking megumi's hair and give the top of his head a gentle kiss. "yeah, well not today," you say, shooting a smug, resolute smile towards your husband, ultimately taking his son's side.

⋆ 「 — outside of his alone time, megumi would honestly much rather be with you instead of other children. toji thinks it's probably unhealthy and you're inclined to agree, but you also don't want to force megumi into situations that will just make him miserable. so, when appropriate, you don't mind at all pacing around with him in your arms or have him walk next to you (maybe holding your hand if he’s not in a ‘big boy’ mood), teaching him about the things you see in the woods, the park, or even the museum. when toji's not away working, he'll join too because it admittedly makes his heart feel soft to watch you two together. it always has, because you've been doing this with megumi since he was a baby. it never gets old. if it wasn't already so difficult trying to figure out how to do things right by his son, he'd want you to give him even more babies.

⋆ 「 — megumi likes doing things with his dad sometimes too, though. toji tries his best to do it right and watch both his mouth and his temper. you like seeing them getting along, even if it's just quietly watching tv or a movie (probably a cartoon where toji gets kind of into and will ask the occasional question like "why does that one stupid chick keep doing that?" and megumi just shrugs like, "i dunno. she is pretty dumb.") or playing ball outside because gumi's starting to show some athleticism. but you have to remind toji that he can't always be so rough or competitive with games because megumi is literally a child.

⋆ 「 — toji can also be way too overprotective of you two at times. you'll be out and about and he'll just be wearing such an intimidating expression as he walks behind you both, on the lookout for anyone who might want to cause trouble or take the wrong sort of glance at his wife. he'll even snap at people for walking too close or like cutting in line or something petty, and you have to tell him stop acting like an attack dog and looking like the grim reaper because dear god you're literally just having lunch at the park. even at his age, megumi's just eating his ice cream and looking at his dad with his little baby deadpan expression and thinking "this man really needs to take a chill pill." other times he can be more relaxed, however, obviously confident in his ability to protect you. it depends on his mood. but that still doesn’t stop him from being embarrassing and going off on people in public if something happens.

⋆ 「 — you also know all of gumi’s favorite meals and snacks. it’s yet another one of those things where, if his dad does it wrong, megumi expresses a disappointment beyond his years. toji will be making and packing his son’s school lunch just as instructed by the notes you gave him, but it’s by no means as neat and meticulous as when you do it. toji’s got a cigarette hanging out of his mouth with furrowed, concentrating brows, his free hand shakily reaching for a cup of fresh coffee, and megumi’s standing there with his little backpack, criticizing his father the entire time. “mom doesn’t do it like that,” he says.

“well mom ain’t here right now. and it doesn’t matter how the sandwich is cut, is still tastes the damn same.”

gumi doesn’t even physically react, still wearing the same neutral expression, just waiting for his dad to hurry up. “mom says you shouldn’t smoke. and she also says not to use bad words.”

toji scoffs and then smirks. “well mommy uses all sorts of bad words you don’t even know about when her and daddy have play time.”

megumi’s already almost late for school and can barely feel his feet from how tight his dad tied his shoelaces. he also asks you later about “play time,” and you want to absolutely murder your husband over it.