#I want to hug five pebbles so bad and tell him everything will be ok and how he won't suffer anymore

[jaime-in-chaos]

Why the hell am I crying over gay robots with depression and sick cats.......

[augusta-rudnick]

When You Have a Panic Attack *Jake Gyllenhaal Blurb*

-Original Content-

Word Count: 1192

(Not my picture)

“I know you are nervous, but it’ll be ok. I am not going to leave your side. I promise I won’t push you farther than you feel comfortable” Jake smiled at you reassuringly. You glanced at him but trained your eyes back on the road. You were so nervous about this dress fitting for the next premiere. It wasn’t just about the dress, though. This was a decision that would affect you later, maybe in a big way. If you weren’t comfortable in the dress, the panic would be worse, and it would be harder to enjoy a fancy event. But you also didn’t want to look like a blob. You wanted to be worthy of Jake, he is so handsome.

You didn’t trust yourself not to say something wrong. Plus, you really didn’t think getting car sick right now would help.

Jake leaned forward to look at your face. Suddenly it hit you, you had to go to the bathroom now. Panic set in.

“Jake, I have to go to the bathroom. Bad.” You turned towards him briefly enough for him to get the message. He tapped his driver’s shoulder.

“Where can we stop for the bathroom? It’s an emergency stop.”

“Does that gas station work?”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Jake looked at you for confirmation and you nodded. You suddenly got very hot. This was the worst. Panic attacks have no place in this serious of a relationship and you were more than over it.

Just as you were about to get to the gas station, the light before you turns red. NO! You are fanning yourself and panicking. You couldn’t do anything. You were at the mercy of fate. Jake was trying to talk to you, but you weren’t listening. There was only so much focus you could muster, and it was all preoccupied at this point.

After an eternity, the light turns green and a quick turn lands you close to a toilet. You run inside, making a beeline for the bathroom. You make it inside to the toilet, which is a relief since there was no guarantee moments ago. You stop and ask yourself why Jake is still with you. After all the bathroom emergencies and the childish reactions- No, we are not going to think like that. We are just going to be thankful for the situation as it is now. There was a knock on the door and Jake spoke.

“Hey, you ok? I’m gonna wait in here for you if you need anything.” You were too relieved to feel as thankful as you thought you should. You finished up and left. As you walked out you saw Jake talking with the cashier. Just as you were about to walk up, the cashier asked Jake for a picture. You willingly took their picture and followed Jake outside after they finished chatting. The city made you feel trapped, but Jake made you feel free. A weird paradox that you had to reconcile.

You stopped when you got outside and watched Jake in front of you. There was that feeling. You knew in your stomach that the panic attack wasn’t done. Shit. You couldn’t breathe. You bent over and looked at your feet. You felt trapped. There was no reason, but it consumed you. Suddenly Jake was next to you with his hand on your back. You both had done this together before and he knew what to do.

Jake picked you up bridal style and carried you around the side of the gas station to be a little more private. You sat on the curb with him while his driver (you always forget his name and feel awful about it) pulled the car in front of you guys for added privacy.

“Sweet heart, deep breaths. Can you look at me?” Jake’s face was calm and understanding. You looked up at him from your lap, taking a deep breath.

“Tell me five things you see.”

“Uhhhh,” you paused to focus and started slowly, “A red Toyota, your eyes, two black tires on the limo, my shoes, your hands” Your breath started to stabilize.

“Tell me four things you hear.” His eyes your focused only on you.

You closed your eyes to listen. “Cars passing on the road, uhhmm.” A car honked at the intersection. “a car horn, the fabric on my back that you are rubbing, the bell on the door.”

You opened your eyes to see Jake smiling softly and nodding.

“Three things you feel.”

“The curb beneath my body, your hand on my back, my hands on my knees.” You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. It was dying down. You had control back.

“Two things you smell.”

“Gasoline and your cologne” You were back. You could think better. That was less than fun. You are so over having panic attacks. They are so taxing.

“Where we at now? How are you doing?” Jake searched your face. He really cared and you could see it. You took a deep breath before answering.

“I’m better, not 100% but I’m not panicking anymore. Thank you” You smiled softly but were suddenly too tired to explain further.

“I wish you would stop that” Jake took you by surprise. You looked up at him suddenly, shocked. Stop having panic attacks? That wasn’t a choice you could make. It was a slow process. You ached inside when he said that.

“No! nonononono, that’s not what I meant,” Jake backpedaled, “I meant thanking me! Hey, not the anxiety thing. I promise. I would never” Jake hugged you close to his chest as you let out tears of relief, all of the pressure of holding back the panic attack rushing out. You had been so afraid that was the end.

“You don’t need to thank me. I want to help, and I know how to help you. I don’t ever want you to think you are a burden or a hassle for me to help. You are everything to me. I wish I could just take it all away.” You pressed your head against his chest and felt his words. His calm heart beat calming your speeding heart. Your tears subsided. You took a deep breath and moved away.

“Can we get in the car?” You finally realized how exposed you were to the public. You weren’t ashamed but you also didn’t want pictures of your panic attacks. Jake nodded and helped you up. You brushed off the pebbles and cement dust from your pants before getting into the car. You went into the car before Jake and huffed as you climbed in. You arranged your butt closer to the side so Jake had room.

Jake settled next to you as the car started. He put his arm around you after you both had your seatbelts on, and you nestled into him.

“Where are we going, Hon?” Jake asked kindly. “Are we still going to the dress fitting?”

“I still want to try” You were determined. This was going to be ok. Jake smiled at you and squeezed your hand reassuringly. You were going to be stunning, you had decided.

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Pure (13/14)

Summary: Belle wanted to wait until marriage before she had sex for the first time. It was the one thing that still stuck in her mind after leaving her small town upbringing steeped in religious doctrine and abstinence culture. When her wedding night comes, however, the purity ideals of Storybrooke’s sex education are hard to shake off, and making the transition from virgin to sexually active is more difficult than she anticipated. With the help of a patient husband, Belle begins an intimate journey into understanding her body, her desires, and her identity as a woman.

Rated: E

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[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [Nine] [Ten] [Eleven] [Twelve] [AO3]

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Pure

Thirteen

It felt good having Aiden back in bed with her. Belle had missed him terribly during the week that he had slept in the spare room, even though he had migrated back to their shared bed a couple of times when she had been crying in the night at the stupidity and unfairness of her brain, and he had come to comfort her like he always would.

Now he’d been back in her arms where he belonged for two months, and she smiled, nuzzling in closer to his side. She had missed this platonic closeness even more than she had missed making love with him, and sometimes she never wanted to let him go. People had always said that she was a hugger, touchy-feely, and she was even more so with Aiden. He’d not been so tactile when they had first met, in fact, her exuberance when it came to hugs and kisses had put him off his guard and he’d been rather wary of her.

But, just as he had eased her into deeper intimacy, so she had eased him into more casual touches and embraces. Strange that she should have been the one to teach him first, when she always thought of him as the more experienced one. It just went to show that there was still a lot that they could learn from each other. Their sessions with Dr Hopper were proving that too.

Aiden’s hand slid down her back, coming to rest on her hip, the tip of his thumb slipping under the waistband of her pyjama pants. Their intimacy had returned in little baby steps over the course of the therapy sessions, much as they had worked in small steps when they had first been exploring each other on their honeymoon. This time though, there was much less nervousness and fumbling. They were much more familiar with each other’s bodies, their likes, and their dislikes; falling back into the rhythms that they had already begun to establish was easier than Belle had thought it was going to be.

She still overthought things sometimes, but now she had strategies in place for when her mind began to turn against her and the snide voice in her head would attempt to get her down. Now she could argue with it rationally.

There was nothing sinful in what she was doing. There was nothing shameful in wanting to be intimate with her husband. She deserved to be loved. She deserved to have this pleasure, and no one had the right to judge her for it.

It was a mental pep talk that she had been giving herself regularly since starting with Dr Hopper, and so far it seemed to be working for her. With every step that she and Aiden took back towards each other, it got a little easier to win against the snide voice, to tell it that it had no place in her sex life. Sex with Aiden was not a moral or immoral act; it was simply a pleasurable one, and she had every reason to enjoy it to the full.

She slipped her hand up under his t-shirt, stroking over his belly and feeling him twitch, his muscles tensing as he readied himself for an onslaught of tickling. Belle smiled to herself in the darkness. She wouldn’t do that to him. Not tonight, at least. Tonight, she wanted something more, and she was not going to let any intrusive thoughts get in the way.

She leaned over to kiss him, and he returned it wholeheartedly, his hand coming up to cup her face beneath the curtain of her hair. It was not a fierce or hungry kiss; it was still sweet and soft, but there was so much deep passion in it, so much need and longing and hope for reunion that Belle had to pull away to get her breath back before going back for another.

“I want you,” she whispered once she released him again. “I love you and I want you.”

“Are you sure?” Aiden didn’t sound like he was trying to put her off, not when his thumb was stroking over her cheek and running along her lips. His asking was more than just a formality, but it was clear that he wanted it just as much as she did. He just wanted to be sure that this want on her part was coming from a place of genuine desire, not a sense of misguided obligation.

Going to Dr Hopper had definitely been the right choice.

“Absolutely.” Belle kissed him again. “I’ve missed you, and I’ve very much enjoyed becoming reacquainted with your beautiful body over the last few days. I’m hoping to get even more reacquainted with it tonight.”

“Then that is what will happen, my darling Belle.” Aiden gently pushed her back against the pillows, and she slipped her arms around his neck, giving a little sigh of happiness as he began to kiss his way down her neck and across her collar, taking the strap of her camisole in his teeth and pulling it down to expose her breast. He was meticulous in his ministrations, leaving no inch of skin untouched as he worked his way down over her breast, sucking her nipple between his lips and swirling his tongue around the sensitive little bud until she felt it pebble and harden. She felt him smile against her skin, and then he was moving across to the other side, repeating the treatment. Belle bucked her hips up against him, arching her back to push her breasts up, closer into his wonderful touch.

She could already feel the wet heat beginning to gather at her entrance, and for the first time in too long a time, she felt no shame in it. This was the way that she was supposed to be feeling. This was not wrong. This was so very, very right.

Aiden paused in his delicate kisses, sitting up a little to help her out of her camisole and to pull off his own t-shirt, but she did not have time to miss his touch, as he continued down over her stomach, darting his tongue into her navel and making her whole body writhe with pleasure at the sensation. It felt like it was going straight down to her clit, and he smirked up at her before doing it again. Belle couldn’t help the little shriek that escaped her, and she immediately clamped a hand over her mouth in embarrassment.

“No, no, be loud, my darling,” Aiden crooned, reaching up to move her hand away. “Be as loud as you like. I like knowing what makes you feel good.”

He reached the waistband of her pyjama pants and began to push them down, pressing kisses to the inside of her thighs and her mound. Belle kicked the pants off, unable to stop her hips from pushing up again, needing his touch right in her centre.

Aiden was happy to oblige, and he lapped along her folds, fingers coaxing out her swollen pearl as his tongue pushed gently at her entrance. Belle could only moan, wriggling and rolling her hips at the wonderful sensation. His tongue really felt so criminally good down there, and she wondered where he had learned his technique. She sent up some silent thanks to whoever had taught him, because she knew that she would not be enjoying this anywhere near as much in other circumstances. This was purely for her pleasure; this was never going to get her pregnant. It should have been bad, but it felt so very, very good that there could be no moral judgement attached to it. They weren’t hurting anyone by doing this.

In fact, it was very much the opposite.

Aiden shifted, his tongue now probing around her clit, drawing little circles, and a finger was pressing up inside her and stroking insistently at her inner walls. So much pleasure, so many touches in so many places… It didn’t surprise Belle at all when she came with a cry, the dam breaking and pleasure flooding through her veins.

“That’s it,” Aiden crooned, pressing little butterfly kisses to her quivering tummy as she came down from the high, pulling his finger out of her slowly and licking her juices off it. He looked so debauched like that, her arousal glistening on his chin and his hair at all angles. It made her heart turn a somersault and sent a fresh wave of heat down between her legs. “I like it when you make a bit of noise. Let it out. Let it go.”

“That was wonderful.” Belle groaned, spread-eagling her limbs on the bed as Aiden began to kiss his way back up her body with just as much eager tenderness as he had made the reverse journey. “Oh Aiden, I missed this so much. I missed your mouth, and your hands, and I just missed you.”

“I’m here now,” he said, reaching her mouth and capturing her lips again. “We’re going to be ok.”

Belle nodded, carding her fingers into his hair to pull him down for another kiss. She could taste herself on his lips, and whilst she wasn’t sure that she liked the taste, she could feel her heart beating faster at the inherent eroticism of it.

She could feel his cock, hot and hard against her thigh, and she brought a hand down between them, cupping him through his pyjama pants.

“Seems I’m not the only one who missed this,” she purred, and immediately felt the blush beginning to rise in her cheeks, because of everything that she had overcome, talking sexy was still something that kicked a natural response. She didn’t feel too embarrassed by it, though. She was still on a learning curve, after all, and they did say that the best way to learn was by constant practice.

Belle was looking forward to all the practice that she could get. Sure, there were still going to be moments when her mind got the better of her, but for now, those moments had been put to bed, and there was nothing stopping her from enjoying the here and now. If she woke up filled with regret, then she had the techniques that Dr Hopper had taught her for working through those feelings, and she had Aiden to talk everything over with.

“Oh Belle, you have no idea.” He helped her pull his pants down and off, and they joined her nightwear on the floor beside the bed. Belle’s hand closed over his as he lined them up, and then he was pushing into her, filling her up and stretching her in the best way possible, moving so slowly and carefully to let her get used to the feeling. Belle curled one of her legs around his, bringing him a little closer. She wanted him close, as close as possible, the sweat mingling on their skin as she held him tightly.

This was what they meant when they talked about two becoming one. Even when they’d been making love before the crisis, Belle didn’t think she’d ever felt as close to Aiden as she did now, having come through all they had together. She could feel the tears beginning to prick the back of her eyes, and she screwed them tight shut, not wanting to cry and ruin the moment. Aiden would worry, even though she knew that these tears were coming from a place of such utter joy and happiness.

Aiden shifted his weight on his forearms and began to move in her, long and slow thrusts of his hips, and Belle moved her own to meet him. His coarse pubic hair was tickling against her sensitive folds making her wriggle and arousing her anew, but it was just not quite enough to get her back to that glorious peak.

“Touch yourself,” Aiden whispered, his voice breathy and strained as his pace began to quicken, losing finesse along the way. “I can feel that you’re close, my lovely. Let’s see if we can’t get you there again.”

Belle let go of him, shakily reaching down between their bodies to press a finger against her clit. She did so without thinking, motivated only by the need for another orgasm that was building but not quite there. She’d always been somewhat wary of touching herself before, but Aiden had always been encouraging. He was being encouraging now. He wanted her to do it; he was asking her to do it.

So, she did, and as the second climax chased down the afterglow of the first, she definitely did not regret it. Nor did she regret the sob of Aiden’s name that escaped her.

“Oh, Belle, Belle!”

She felt the spurt of warmth inside her and his movement stilled, forehead resting against hers.

“Oh Belle,” he breathed. “I’ve missed this.”

“Me too.”

He slipped out of her as he began to shrink and soften, rolling off her and but pulling her in close to his side. His brow furrowed as he shifted his hold on her, and he reached out to touch her cheek. Belle realised that she was crying after all.

“Are you all right?”

She nodded. “I’m perfect. Honestly. I don’t even know why I’m crying; I’m so happy.”

Aiden kissed her. “As long as they’re happy tears.”

“God, Aiden, they are. They really are.”

In that moment, Belle didn’t think that she had ever been happier. It was not the first time they’d made love. It was not the first time she’d had an orgasm. It was not the first time they’d been intimate since the Storybrooke debacle; they’d been building up to this for a while. But somehow, it felt like this time meant something very important to the both of them, like they needed to take this step to properly reconnect and get back on the same page of her intimate education.

There was still a way to go, a lot to learn, a lot to unpack with Dr Hopper, but this moment, right now, gave Belle so much hope that it was almost overwhelming.

She loved Aiden, and he loved her, and there was nothing wrong with them expressing that love physically. Whatever happened, they would make it work.

Belle drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.

X

“Oh.”

Gold looked up on hearing Belle’s exclamation. She had been going through the mail whilst he’d been making breakfast, and he hadn’t been paying all that much attention to her, his mind still firmly reliving the previous night. He felt like it was a turning point in their relationship somehow. He didn’t know why, it wasn’t exactly the first time they’d made love, but there had been something different about it. Something more intense.

He was glad of Dr Hopper’s advice. Belle’s tears after the fact had given him pause for a moment, but he had trusted her when she had said that they were happy tears, and when he had woken this morning, she was still curled up tight by his side with a satisfied smile on her face. There was no hint of regret, and he was pleased that he was not overthinking the situation.

As he brought the omelettes over to the table, he saw what had captured Belle’s attention. She was holding a stiff square of cream card with fancy golden edging to it, and Gold guessed that it was a formal invite to something.

“What’s up?”

“It’s Rory. You remember, my friend from the hospital back in Storybrooke.”

“Yes, I remember.” He had a lot to thank Rory for, really, as the only person in the town who seemed to care about Belle as a person and not a hymen. “What about her?”

“She’s getting married. In April. I mean, I sort of vaguely knew that she was dating Philip, but I hadn’t realised that they were so committed.”

“Well, you can give her my congratulations. I take it that’s the invitation to the wedding.”

Belle nodded. “It’s in Storybrooke at the church, and then the town hall function room afterwards.” She sighed. “Storybrooke.”

They had not made any plans to go back to Storybrooke ever since that disastrous last visit, not even to visit Moe, whom Belle had begun to cut out of her life completely, realising that his worldview was toxic and had made her own life toxic as well. If they went to the wedding, then it would probably be the first time that they would be going back there after all the problems that it had caused.

“We don’t have to go,” he said.

Belle shook her head. “No, I want to go. Rory was one of my best friends in high school and she’s the only real friend from before Boston that I’ve even vaguely kept in touch with. I think I can handle going back for a wedding. Going back for just a visit with no real purpose, perhaps not, but hopefully at a wedding everyone will be more interested in the actual wedding bit than in me and what I’m doing.”

“Well, I’m sure that you don’t have to RSVP right away, there’s time to think it over.” Although he didn’t want to put her off going to her friend’s wedding, Gold really wanted to pre-empt any setbacks in her therapy that the trip might cause. Of course, it was over six months away so it might be a moot point by then, but at the same time, with Belle’s mental state so fragile at the moment, it paid to be cautious.

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s not really going back to Storybrooke that’s making me pause. I just keep thinking about our wedding. That was a Storybrooke wedding and we all know what happened after it. I was so incredibly lucky to have married you, because you were from outside and you understood and took care of me in such a wonderful way; you could offer an outside perspective on all my worries and show me that they were ultimately groundless. But Rory doesn’t have that. She and Philip both grew up in the town and never left; they don’t have the same kind of experience that I do, and I really don’t want her to go through the same horrible chain of thoughts that I did. I want her to have someone who can tell her that it’s all going to be all right, that it’s not going to hurt – well, that it shouldn’t hurt – and that she should absolutely enjoy it, and anyone who tells her otherwise is an idiot. I kind of want to protect her from her upbringing sabotaging her happiness in the same way that you protected me.”

Gold thought about this for a long time, wondering how he could help, but Belle seemed to be on a roll with her thoughts, musing as she ate her omelette. It was good to see that the prospect of going back to Storybrooke did not worry her as much as it might have done before she started therapy, although he didn’t know if she was so focussed on making sure that Rory was going to be all right because she was trying to shy away from her own feelings of fear.

Ultimately, Belle’s feelings were her own, and he could trust her to share them with him if the occasion called for it. He would forever be inordinately grateful to their joint sessions with Dr Hopper for opening up the channels of communication between them and helping to rebuild that trust that had been broken through no fault of their own.

God, the Mother Superior at Storybrooke hospital had a hell of a lot to answer for. If she was at the wedding then Gold didn’t know that he could be trusted not to do her some kind of injury.

“What do you think?”

Gold looked up from his breakfast guiltily, so caught up in thoughts of threatening nuns that he hadn’t been listening to what Belle had been saying.

“Sorry, miles away.”

“I guessed. You were looking very ferocious and I didn’t think that it could be because of the omelette. I swear this is the best one you’ve ever made.”

“Thank you, and no, I was not angry at the omelette. So, what were you saying that I missed?”

“I wanted to write Rory something. Put down all of the fears and things that I had when I started having sex and work through them so that she doesn’t have to feel the same things. These last few months have been such a roller coaster of ups and downs, and whilst the ups have been absolutely wonderful, I wouldn’t wish the downs on my worst enemy, let alone my friend.”

Gold nodded. “I think that’s a good idea.” Maybe putting it all down on paper would help Belle work through it herself, and she could find her own peace by helping Rory to find hers.

The subject was put to the side until they had finished eating and the dishes were in the sink, but Gold could tell that it was still on Belle’s mind, especially when she spoke again.

“Would you… Would you be willing to help me?” Belle was biting her lip again, her cheeks pink. Talking about sex still did not come naturally to her, but she was getting better at opening up every day.

“Of course. Whatever you need.”

“Well, I’d like to use your car analogy for a start.” Belle smiled. “Considering that you just thought it up on the spot that first morning, it really helped me, and since Philip used to work in the garage, I think it might be useful for him as well as for Rory.”

Gold laughed. “You’re welcome to use any of my analogies that you like. And if, at any point, you feel like you need some more practical experience of the things that you’re describing…” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Belle batted his arm playfully before giving a little sigh – not quite content, but not quite worried either.

“I hope that Rory and Philip end up with a marriage like ours,” she said.

“I’m sure that with your help, they will.” Gold leaned over to peck a kiss to her cheek, and Belle leaned into his touch.

“Yes,” she said. “Yes, that’s my goal. Although…”

“Yes?”

“Well, you did mention getting a bit more practical experience… Maybe I’m not fully qualified to write anything down just yet.”

Gold just kissed her, her tongue finding his enthusiastically. He could foresee them having quite a lot of fun whilst seeking to help and educate Rory and Philip.

[wooyuwu]

Late Night Surprise

A/N: I began writing this in August 2017 and I just finished it?? wildt.. I tend to forget about my works a lot lololol. .. I feel like this piece is a bit hard to follow and is kinda bad overall hhs sorry :c I tried my best to fix it but I’m not sure how good of a job I did. Hopefully it’s alright and you enjoy it~

Pairing: Jongho x fem reader

Genre: fluff, high school au

Words: roughly 2.2k

Warnings: none, just some cussing.

*Tuesday, April 14, 2019. 11:33:37 PM*

An exasperated sigh escapes your lips as you read the date and time on the top right corner of your laptop screen.

You have a Spanish essay due in two days over a book you were assigned to read throughout the month of October, and you've been procrastinating your work. The book was an easy read and didn’t take you too long to finish, and the essay question wasn’t particularly hard, yet you still put it off until the last minute. You’ve just been so stressed lately by other school work, extra-curriculars, scholarship applications, etc., that this essay was the last thing you wanted to worry about.

You are so close to being done, having left to only revise your essay and make sure it’s absolutely perfect. You can’t turn in garbage; your teachers’ expectations for you are set high—an obvious result of you being in the top 10% of your school. To add onto that, you’re a senior, so you have to make your last year in high school the best in all terms.

But your head throbs. You’ve been working non-stop on this damn essay since yesterday, and you need to take a break before you lose all sense of reality. Saving the file and then closing your laptop, you stand up from your chair and throw yourself onto your bed. It’s just then when you hear something lightly hit your window, but you don’t really think much of it. A few seconds later, you hear another something hit your window. Weird.

You turn to your side, facing the wall where your window lay, and just stare out of it.

*Pab*

Huh? W-was that a..? Did a pebble just hit your window?

*Pab*

And there was another one??

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion as you get up and walk towards your window, going to inspect just what might be disturbing your very much needed peace. 

You proceed to open the window and are met with the crisp night air and a slight breeze which brushes against your skin. You look out, and then down, but there’s nothing strange to catch your attention.

“Pshhhhh.. Y/N~”, you hear a voice whisper out to you from your right, and your head jerks right towards it, eyes landing upon… Jongho?

“Jongho!!??”, you shout in a whisper, eyes wide in surprise and your heart skipping a beat. Are your eyes playing tricks on you? Have you finally lost your mind thanks to that damn essay?

He shoots you a sheepish smile, “Could you let me in? I’m kinda struggling here..”—and that’s when you realize he is crouched onto the branch of your tree. 

Your heart beats just a little bit faster as you move away from the window to give your boyfriend access, but mostly due to him hanging onto your tree the way he currently is. You know he’s strong, but things could still go so wrong, so fast.

As Jongho carefully crawls through your window, you quickly stretch your hand out towards him, and he takes a hold of it for extra support. Once he’s safe inside your bedroom, he proceeds to take off his shoes while still holding your hand. 

“Hi baby~”, he croons, bringing your hand up to his lips and pecks the back of it. This guy…..

“Jongho, what the fuck—“

“Hey, watch your language. Your parents are downstairs sleeping, you’re gonna wake them up!” he warns you, and you shoot him an incredulous look.

“Me? I’m going to wake them up?”, you scoff at him, “Jongho, you can’t just show up to my house without any previous notice. Do you know what time it is!? Why aren’t you sleeping?” you ramble, a bit shaken up by the fact that your boyfriend was actually here right now. 

Jongho looks at the ground while biting his cheek to keep from laughing, but a chuckle escapes, causing you to frown. 

He can’t help it, you’re just too cute when you get flustered and scold him for the silly things he does. 

He then looks up and pulls you towards him, letting go of your hand and opting to wrap his arms around you, holding you tightly. He rests his chin on top of your head, and muffles “I just missed you, is all”, into your hair, and then kisses the top of it. Now this made you melt, and you were sure that your heart forgot to beat for a couple seconds. 

“I missed you too”, you reply with a small smile on your lips as you leave a chaste kiss on his jawline.

Last week had been hectic for you, spending your free periods at tutorials which your teachers offered, and lunch in the library working on upcoming assignments. After school was much the same, as you would drive straight home as soon as the release bell rang to lock yourself away in your room, studying into oblivion. You barely got to spend time with Jongho, as the moments you saw him in the hallway or lunchtime were short and rushed. So it was fair to say you missed him, because you did. You really, really, missed him.

And so did he; he missed the scent of your sweet, delicate floral perfume which makes him feel as if flowers are blooming in his lungs every time he hugs you. He missed your voice and bright laugh, which has his heart burst whenever he hears it. He missed your long, soft hair, and how it feels between his fingers whenever he runs his hands through it. He missed your pretty, pink lips, which somehow always taste like strawberries and have him want to have his against yours forever. 

He missed you—everything about you—and he couldn’t spend another week—hell, second—without seeing you. Even if it were for 10 minutes, he had to see you. Properly.

You two stand there in each other's arm for what feels like 2 seconds, when in reality has probably been 5 minutes, taking each other in, before you hear footsteps up the stairs. Shit.

“Jongho, fuck, ah—oh my gosh, get in my closet! I think my parents are coming upstairs, oh shit“, you blurt out in a whisper, so fast that Jongho was slightly impressed. Grabbing his hand you pull him towards your (much too small) closet and push him in. 

“Hey, no noise. Understood??”, you command him, before closing the door. 

Jongho hums, signaling that he understood you, and you rush to sit at your desk and open a textbook, pretending to be studying. There are two knocks on your door before it opens, and there stands your father.

“Y/N?”

“Hey dad”, you smile sweetly at him, “I thought you were sleeping”, you say.

“No, but I am going to bed now. Just wanted to check up on you first.”

“Oh ok”, you reply, hearing your heartbeat in your ears.

"What are you working on?”, he questions you, looking over to the book in your hands.

“Oh, you know…just some last minute studying,” you nonchalantly answer, and he hums, acknowledging your answer.

What’s he doing?, you think to yourself, is he stalling?

Your father then walks towards your bed and sits on the edge of it, facing your closet. Shit..

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”, your father asks you. 

“Hm?” you hum quickly, taken by surprise. 

She’s caught off guard, Jongho thinks to himself; He instantly knew by the way you answered your father, and by the slight quiver in your voice. 

He can only imagine how you look, eyes wide and probably playing with your necklace, the one he gifted you for your one year anniversary, which you never took off. Every time you got nervous you would play with the music note charm, a reminder of him, and Jongho guesses that you are nervous right now. He can just tell.

“O-oh, nothing, I just realized how late it is now.” you respond immediately, recollecting yourself from being caught off guard by your father’s question, and you eye the clock on your bed stand.

“Oh, what a lie,” Jongho thinks to himself, and a small smirk forms on his lips.

He knows why you are nervous; you’re uneasy because he is in your room, late at night, and your parents don’t know—you don’t want them to find out, especially your father. Just imagine what a messy situation that would be! Your father would think all the wrong things, and you would probably be grounded for life and prohibited from seeing Jongho ever again. You really don’t want to risk that.

“I should go to sleep,” you mutter, letting out a fake yawn, and right when you say that is when Jongho somehow realizes that your father is sitting across from where he is hiding.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Jongho’s mind is running wild, and he’s thinking of all the possible scenarios.

Please leave…please please please, he repeats to himself, becoming stiff as adrenaline pumps through his veins.

Your father stands up and hums, and Jongho hears this.

Is he facing me?? Shit, is he going to open the closet? Fuck, oh god, help me,

Jongho's heart races and he’s almost positive that your father can hear it. God, his heart is about to jump out of his chest by how hard it’s beating. It could probably be heard miles away.

“You should”, replies your father, “goodnight, Y/N.” 

“Night, Dad,” you respond, and Jongho hears your door close, signaling your father’s disappearance. Finally.

After your father left, you wait for five minutes to pass, just to make sure that he won’t disturb you once again. 

You sigh in relief and stand from your chair, walking towards your closet. You then open it and find before you a very flustered Jongho, who stands up immediately upon seeing you and dramatically falls into your arms, knocking you over.

A small squeal escapes your lips as you topple over onto your bed and Jongho follows, landing on top of you. It’s not your fault your boyfriend is 10x your size.

Your faces are centimeters apart and your dumbass boyfriend leans in to peck your lips. 

“You are such an idiot, Jongho!” you exclaim, which causes him to burst out laughing, his face scrunching up in pure entertainment.

“No, no, I’m not playing around”, you say, biting your lip in an attempt to keep a straight face. Why is it that every time this boy smiles or laughs you can’t help but do so too? His smile was making you feel warm and your heart dance, and god, you hated that right now because you just want to scold him for doing something so immature and—

Jongho leans in again and captures your lips with his, having all your thoughts halt. 

Your chest feels on fire, and your eyes flutter closed. You appreciate the feeling of Jongho’s plush, soft lips against your own and relax underneath him, taking it all in. How could you have nearly forgotten how wonderful it feels to kiss this amazing boy before you???

Your lips mold perfectly together, and move against each other’s so exquisitely it’s mouth-watering. Jongho brings his hand to gently hold your chin and begins to take control, moving his lips just slightly faster and pressing against yours harder now, letting you feel how much he missed you through his kiss. You separate from him and hold his cheek softly, and he leans into it, looking down at you. 

“I really, really, missed you...” you mumble, admiring the small twinkle garnishing his eyes, “you know you have really pretty eyes?” you ask him.

He lets out a short scoff, smiling goofily at you, 

“Oh do I?” he teases, and you hum in response.

You pull his face down towards yours and hover your lips over his left eye, and he flutters it closed. You press a gentle kiss against his eyelid, and then do the same to his right.

“Very pretty..” you trail off, “looks like you got lil stars in em” you smile softly at him, and Jongho feels his cheeks heat up. 

“They light up only when I see you.. they’re lit up by the fire that ignites in my chest whenever I’m with you,” he replies back, smirking down at you, and now it’s your turn to blush.

“Stop being so poetic,” you smile shyly, kissing his cheek.

He smiles sheepishly at you, “you are my muse~” he says, and you laugh out, a sudden shyness coming over you.

“Com’ere” you say, and wrap your arms around his torso, pulling him towards you to lie down with you.

Jongho lies on his back and you roll over, resting your head on his chest and tangling your legs with his. He gently strokes his fingertips through your hair and you close your eyes, finally feeling at peace.

“Can we stay a bit like this?” you ask him, hoping he won’t leave you now.

“I wouldn’t want anything else,” he replies, and you two just lie there in each other's arms, finally after what felt like years of being apart.

[tehnardier]

Heartbeat — Steve Harrington

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Words: 3511

Headcanon: “Steve would probably be so great at comforting his s/o” by anonymous.

Summary: Y/N hasn’t been able to sleep because of nightmares for a long time and seeks help of the one person that will be of help.

Warnings: insomnia

A/N: this is a new style of writing i’m trying out bc i wanted to see if i could write flashbacks and write a non gender specific fanfic... well, here’s it is!! feedback is always appreciated :) enjoy!

You woke up startled, sitting up immediately and trying to catch your breath. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, and you were sure it wouldn’t be the last. Ever since you fought off the Demogorgon, you had started getting nightmares. Luckily, you learned to deal with them and didn’t have them as often, but with the recent events with the demodogs, they came back stronger than ever. 

You looked at the clock on the wall and sighed, knowing that it was useless to try to go back to sleep. Laying back down on the bed, you felt tears on the corners of your eyes threatening to fall. ‘I’m so weak,’ you thought, ‘who wakes up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and starts to cry? Certainly none of your friends who went through the exact same shit do.’

It had all started when Nancy Wheeler asked your help the year before to rescue your mutual friend Barbara Holland. At the time, you didn’t know that by rescue she meant fight a monster from another dimension with the help of Jonathan Byers and, surprisingly, Steve Harrington. After that, the four of you developed a somewhat close bond, or at least a knowledge that, when and if the time came, you’d be there to help each other. A year had passed since then and, when you least expected it, you were helping a bunch of kids and Steve to capture some kind of tiny Demogorgon (or, as Dustin liked to call it, demodog) called Dart. After that, you somehow ended up in the upside down putting the whole thing to flames, and it was like all the hard work you put into overcoming your nightmares had been burned off with it. There was only one good memory you could think of that stood out from all the bad ones.

It was over. Eleven had closed the gate, and you and Steve had gotten all the kids out safely from the tunnel Chief Hopper had dug to the upside down. Relief flushed through your veins as you looked around and made sure everyone was alright. 

Suddenly, there were two arms around you and you felt the familiar scent of one Steve Harrington. You didn’t stop to think twice as you wrapped your arms around his back and breathed him in.

“We made it.” he whispered in your ear, pulling you impossibly closer to his chest. You barely hummed in response, choosing to focus on his heartbeat instead and letting its steady thumps lure you into a state of pure bliss.

You found yourself wondering if hearing someone’s heartbeat would help you sleep better. Deep inside you knew that it wouldn’t, not anyone’s, at least. Steve’s heartbeat would help. Along with his warm eyes and soothing words. 

You could admit to yourself that you had grown hopelessly fond of the boy since everything that happened, and could guess that only situations like literally saving the whole town could have made someone like yourself fall for someone like Steve. You suspected that even Nancy had figured it out.

The only reason you accepted to chaperone the middle school Snow Ball was because you missed the kids. But, after watching Jonathan take some pictures, complimenting Dustin’s hairdo (no doubt a consequence of one of Steve’s many terrible advices), giving Lucas a pep talk so he would have the courage to ask Max to a dance and hugging them all embarrassingly close, you had realized that middle school dances were probably the most boring thing you ever attended.

It was during the ninth time you circled the entire gymnasium (you counted) that Nancy called you over to the punch table. You rapidly made your way to her, desperate to have a distraction from watching kids dance and ogle at each other.

“So, where’s Steve?” she asked amicably when you got there as she served punch to a nervous looking boy.

You stared at her, confused as to why she would think you’d know about Steve’s whereabouts. “Uh, I don’t know?”

“You don’t?” Nancy glanced at her, frowning and looking equally confused.

“Should I?” you questioned as you two watched the nervous boy leave with a couple of full cups on his hands. That set something off in Nancy’s brain and her confused look turned into one of embarrassment.

“No!” she exclaimed loudly, making herself busy and filling some random cups with her ‘pure fuel’. “It’s just that... No, it’s nothing, forget it.”

“It’s not nothing, or else you wouldn’t be acting this way.” you said as nudged her shoulder with yours. “Come on, tell me.”

“You seem close, that’s all.” Nancy murmured, shrugging her shoulders. That made you tense up, fearing that your friend was mad at you for being friends with her ex-boyfriend. Nancy seemed to sense that, turning her body towards yours and putting a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“I’m not mad at you, silly,” she let out a giggle, “I just wanted you to know you have my blessing.”

You didn’t think much about Nancy’s words at the time, sure that she was only joking. But now, the more you thought about it, the more fearful you were that your crush was too obvious. You sighed and closed your eyes, trying to make your mind shut up so you could at least try to rest a little.

It was no use. Twenty minutes later you were still tossing and turning in your bed, thoughts of your friends and, most importantly, your crush still on your mind. 

You were waiting for your mom to come get you after the Snow Ball when a familiar car stopped in front of the school. You smirked and walked over to the driver seat of the car, tapping on the glass and startling the boy inside. 

Steve rolled down the window and gave you his signature grin when he saw it was you. “Y/N! I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“What can I say? I missed those little shits.” you joked, using the nickname Steve had given them.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” he laughed, “I’m here to pick up Dustin.”

You felt your heart get a little warmer when he said that. “That’s really sweet of you, Steve.”

He gave you a small smile. “He’s a cool kid.”

“He is.” you smiled back. A comfortable silence settled between the two of you as you waited for Dustin to come. You shuddered when a gust of wind passed by and wrapped your arms around yourself.

“Hey, are you cold?” Steve asked in concern and rapidly took off his maroon sweater. Before you could even answer him, he was shoving the fabric into your hands.

You tried giving it back to him, but he just shook his head. “You’re gonna get cold, too.” 

“I’m inside the car, you’re outside,” Steve shrugged and pouted nonchalantly, “you’re gonna get colder.“

Knowing it was no use to fight him, you thanked him and put the sweater on, cuddling into it. Steve couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“It’s no problem,” he told you, “I’m here for you whenever you need me, Y/N.”

Your eyes landed on the sweater you still hadn’t given back and you let out a sigh. You stood up and wrapped it in your hands, holding it close to your chest. Steve lived so close to you, only a few minutes walking and you’d be there with him, holding him instead of his sweater. The words he said flooded in your head, had he truly meant them? I’m here for you whenever you need me, Y/N. 

Before you could think too much about it, you shrugged the sweater on and put on your shoes, making your way out of the room and downstairs as quietly as you could, not wanting to wake up any of your family members.

Only when you were already outside your house you realized how insane was your idea. ‘I can just appear at someone’s house in the middle of the night because I can’t sleep,’ you thought to yourself, ‘also, why would he want me there? He’ll probably freak out. But then again, he did say that he would be there for me when I needed it. That counts as needing it, doesn’t it? I sure as hell need a good night of sleep.’

You interrupted your little internal monologue with a determined huff and let your feet make the familiar way to the Harrington residence. The walk took about five minutes and soon enough you were looking up to what you knew was Steve’s bedroom window. You started to think what you should do next, quickly discarding the idea of just shouting “Steve, Steve, let down your gelled hair” and hoping for the best.

You looked down to your feet, noticed the little pebbles scattered around the floor and groaned. You absolutely hated how sappy this would look, but it was your only option. So, you kneeled down, grabbed a handful of the pebbles and started throwing them on Steve’s window, missing a few but still managing hit the glass most of the time.

You noticed some movement happening in the darkness of the bedroom, followed by the light turning on. After a while, a disheveled and sleepy Steve appeared. He frowned confusedly when he noticed you and opened the window. “Y/N? What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Hi,” you waved shamefully up at him, “did I wake you up?”

Steve just stared for a few seconds, then pointed his finger at you with determination. “Just wait there.”

He disappeared from the window, leaving you wondering what was going to happen next. A good thirty seconds later, you saw Steve walking outside the house and towards you barefoot and with nothing but an old t-shirt and sweatpants on.

“Are you ok?” he asked when he reached you, looking you up and down in concern. “Did something happen?”

You’re not sure why, but all it took was those two questions for your eyes to well up with tears once again. Steve noticed that, immediately closing the space between your bodies and throwing his arms around you. You didn’t have the energy to replicate the hug, but you let out a choked sob and the tears fell freely down your face as he held you close.

“I’m here,” Steve whispered, running his hand through your hair, “I’ve got you.”

He held you until you stopped crying, carefully stepping back once he felt your breathing go back to normal, but putting one of his arms around your shoulders almost as if he was afraid to let you go completely. “Let’s go inside, yeah?”

You nodded and let him lead you to the house. Once inside, he let go of your shoulders and took your hand instead, murmuring something about his parents being asleep. You two tiptoed your way towards his bedroom and, when you got there, he let out a relieved sigh and closed the door behind you. 

You quickly let go of his hand, the brightness inside the room making it too real, making your feelings for Steve too real. There’s something about the darkness that can make you think you can shield or avoid your sentiments with the shadows. But once there’s light, you’re vulnerable again and all those feelings come straight out to the surface.

Steve sensed your discomfort and, not knowing exactly what to do, walked up to his bed and sat on it to avoid just standing there and making you even more uncomfortable. “You can sit, too, if you want.” he said meekly. 

You nodded and made your way to the bed, sitting close enough that if you leaned just a tad to the side, you’d touch his arm. Steve looked at you and chuckled, “I was wondering where that went.”

"I, uh... What?” you said and turned your body towards him confused.

“My sweater.” he answered, indicating to your torso with a nod. You looked down and remembered what you were wearing, feeling your cheeks warm up.

“Oh,” you said simply, “yes, I had completely forgotten about that. I can, uh, give it back to you if you want.”

Steve waved his hand carelessly and shook his head. “There’s no need. It looks better on you anyway.”

If your cheeks were warm then, you were pretty sure they were on fire now. You managed to choke out a “thanks” and looked back down, fiddling with your hands nervously. You had come here in the heat of the moment and now you had no idea how to act and what to do around him. Sure, you and Steve were friends, but not friends friends, just, you know, ‘we went through a lot of shit together and now I guess we’re close’ friends. You didn’t know how to hang out with him, or how to start a normal conversation about random stuff.

“So...” you dragged out, hoping he would somehow complete the sentence or start a topic of conversation. “How have you been?” you asked after he said nothing.

“Managing, I guess. You?” he glanced at you and it was the first time you realized how nervous he looked. It was both relieving and unsettling seeing him like this, acting so unlike his usually confident self. 

“Yeah, me too.” you mumbled, giving him a small smile.

“Are you?” he blurted out, making you snap your head towards him defensively. “I mean, I don’t want to intrude or anything, but what happened outside doesn’t exactly make me believe that you’re managing it so well.”

You frowned angrily, shooting daggers at him with your eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I didn’t mean it like a bad thing.” he cringed and looked at you apologetically. “I just... I think that you’re maybe not as ok as you’re trying to make it seem. And that’s why you’re here, right? We went through some tough shit, Y/N, it’s normal not to be over it so quickly.”

“Is it?” you spat out. “Because I look around and I see everyone being so strong. People like Jonathan... Considering what he saw his baby brother go through, he should be the one who’s not managing. Not me.”

Steve opened his mouth to interfere, but you continued talking before he could. “Or Will himself, or Mrs. Byers, who had to watch her boyfriend get literally eaten by those things. They’re the ones who should be fucked up, but they’re not. They’re holding up.”

You felt your chest get heavy, guilt taking over your body.

“You think you’re the only one who’s still scared?” Steve asked suddenly, finally being able to stop your little rant. “Y/N, I sleep with my nail bat under my bed every night.”

You couldn’t help but crack a small grin at his confession. He nudged your shoulder with his, happy to have made you smile. “Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean you’re the only one having a hard time dealing with what happened.”

“I feel like I’m being selfish not being able to get over it.” you said quietly, glancing at the boy beside you. “What we saw is nothing compared to what they lost, Steve.”

Silence filled the room for a few seconds before Steve turned his whole body towards you and stared at you with wide eyes. “You can’t be serious.”

“What?” you questioned, looking back at him.

“Y/N, you’re not selfish.” he told you, his voice sounding serious and determined. “You got into all this to save your friend. And even after you lost her, you continued fighting and protecting everyone you could. You’re not only completely selfless, but pretty freaking badass, too.”

“You mean that?” you asked him incredulously. Steve nodded enthusiastically in confirmation.

“You’re also pretty freaking badass and selfless, Harrington.” you said, smiling up at the boy. He blushed and mumbled a “no” in return.

“Yes, you are!” you raised your voice as much as you could without waking up his parents, not sure how they’d deal if they found you in their son’s bedroom in the middle of the night. “Was I the only one who saw you make yourself a prey for those monsters to protect the kids?”

“And you.” he said quietly. “To protect you, too.”

It was your turn to blush, the feelings you hid deep inside you threatening to burst out. “You had no obligation to do that, but you did it anyway.” you told him sighing.

“It felt like the right thing to do, that’s all.” he explained nonchalantly.

“That’s my point. You’re probably the most selfless person I’ve ever met.” you said. A voice inside your head just screamed ‘fuck it’ — you wouldn’t hide your feelings any loner if it meant Steve wouldn’t know how important he was. 

“You know, I haven’t slept properly for a long time,” you confessed,  “I get these horrible nightmares almost every night. And when I don’t, I don’t sleep anyway because I get scared I will.”

“You had one tonight.” Steve murmured, piecing all the pieces of the puzzle in his head.

“Yeah.” you whispered, taking a deep breath and grabbing his hands. “And I remembered that, when it was all over, you gave me this really tight hug.”

You waited for a confirmation that Steve was following you before continuing. He then interlaced your fingers together. “You held me so close I could feel your heartbeat. And that made me feel safe. You made me feel safe.” you told him. You felt dizzy and breathless as you waited for a response.

“I never thought I’d make someone feel safe just by hugging them.” he said and smiled at you lovingly. You gave him a matching grin, glad to have finally made him understand.

“I feel safe with you, too, you know.” Steve said, holding your gaze. “Back at the junkyard and in the upside down, what kept me grounded was having you there.”

“Seriously?” you asked him disbelievingly.

“Yes.” he confirmed, his smiled getting even bigger. “So, if you want to maybe spend the night... I’ll hold you all night long if it makes you sleep better.”

Looking at Steve in that moment, his eyes shining and a hopeful grin on his face, was when you realized how far gone you really were for this boy. “Ok, I’ll stay.” you said simply, squeezing his hands.

Steve brought your own hands to his lips and gave kissed them before letting you go and standing up to switch the lights off. You took your shoes and his sweater off as he walked up to his bed, laid on it and put the covers over himself. “Come on, bring it in.” he said with a cheeky grin, opening his arms wide open.

You laughed as you got under the covers and threw yourself in his arms. Steve wrapped them around you, holding you safely to his chest. You breathed him in and snuggled closer. “I like this a lot, Steve.” you murmured. You felt his heart start to beat faster and he kissed the top of your head.

“Hey, I need to ask you something.” Steve said after a while, sounding tired but purposeful nonetheless. You lifted your head to look at him. 

“What is this between us? Are we only friends or is there something more to it?” he asked, his voice quavering a little.

“After everything I said, you think that what I feel for you is purely platonic?” you questioned him incredulously, your mouth agape and eyes opened wide in a mocking manner.

Steve chuckled and shrugged. “Well, I wanted to check.” 

You closed your mouth, stopping for moment to look at him. You felt as if every cell on your body was on fire just by doing so. His eyes held your gaze with nothing but sincerity, and a small and loving smile graced his features. His normally styled hair was down, a few soft strands falling to his forehead, and you thought he looked completely breathtaking. You could feel his heartbeat and his chest go up and down, every consuming thought on your mind being how intoxicated you were by him.

“I can assure you I’ve got very romantic and very real feelings for you.” you told Steve as you closed the space between you two and kissed him hard. He smiled into the kiss and brought you even closer to his chest, kissing you back.

“Good, because I feel the same way about you.” Steve murmured in between kisses.

You leaned back, smirking at him and giving him one last peck before laying back down.

“Good night, Steve Harrington.” you said into his chest, closing your eyes and holding back a smile.

“You’re such a tease.” he moaned, letting out a breathy laugh afterwards and running his hands through your back in a soothing manner. “Good night, Y/N Y/L/N.”

For the first time in a while, you felt completely safe, letting Steve’s warm presence and stable heartbeat lure you to a peaceful sleep.

[grownups-are-the-real-monsters]

Apologies

Richie’s feet crunched the orange and red trimmed leaves as he walked the distance from his house towards Eddie’s. He had his backpack slung around his shoulder, a small speaker shoved into the side pocket. He sighed, a little chilled in the night air and fiddled with his fingers as he thought about the past week. It hadn’t been his best, he had to admit. He bit into his lip.

‘Eds, I’m sorry!’ 

‘Fuck, off Richie.’

Richie frowned. While he wasn't quite sure where he stood with Eddie at the present moment, he hoped it wasn’t too bad. Though, telling their friends about their relationship before Eddie was ready was not the best thing he’d ever done. 

He had ruined a perfectly good moment between them by making a joke out of it like he always did. Eddie was mad at him for days which lead to provoking questions from their friends. And finally, Richie just got so annoyed that he spilled the beans. Eddie’s face had been beet red with anger. He shivered.

He tugged the strap of his bag as he crossed Sonia Kaspbrak’s neatly trimmed lawn. He set the bag down, crossing over to pick up a few pebbles. He shook them in his palm, specks of dirt flung off as he took to the prime place to toss them. 

Now, He’d never actually seen that movie ‘Say Anything’ but Eddie had and begged Richie over and over to watch it with him. He had yet to actually manage to get Richie to sit still long enough to watch it. But he’d heard Eddie describe the famous scene enough times to weasel his way through this. 

He went to through the first pebble before he remembered something, turning over to the backpack. “Shit.” he bent over and took his phone in his hand, flicking Bluetooth on.

 The speaker lit up with a ‘Bluetooth is start’  and Richie rolled his eyes, repeating the poor grammar in his impression of the lady’s voice. When he seemed to get everything settled, he stood and dusted his knees off. He threw his arm back and whipped the first pebble at Eddie’s window. It ricocheted off and fell back into the grass.  He threw most of his pebbles by the time Eddie’s window was flung open and the tired boys head peeped out, looking dazed as ever and rubbing his eyes. 

“Richie? What the fuck, my moms gonna-”

“I came here to apologize! You know I’m shitty at words so I’m just gonna let this speak for itself!” Richie cupped his hands around his mouth as he shouted, a little smug smile on his face. Eddie looked down at him with suspicion as he tore his phone from his pocket and hit the green button from his Spotify playlist. 

After the few second of awkward silence, it finally piped up “Want a break from the ads? Watch this short video for thirty minutes of ad free music...” 

Eddie leaned on his window ledge, a smirk growing over his face as Richie fumbled with his phone.

 “Shit, hold on...” Richie hit the button at least thirty times before it registered and rolled the thirty second ad. He felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment as he watched the blasting ad. 

“This sure speaks volumes, Rich.” Eddie’s amused voice called down to him. Richie looked up at him and was just so glad to see Eddie muster a smile up for him that he momentarily forgot the embarrassment. 

Richie opened his mouth to say something snarky back in the habit of their little game but was beaten to the punch by the start of a song. 

“ Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed-”

“Can I ask how this is an apology song?” Eddie yelled back down at him as the song kicked in. Richie cringed. 

“It’s on shuffle!” 

“Why the fuck would you think that’s a good idea?”  

“I don’t have premium, ok? I was hoping to have enough skips...” Richie started pressing the skip button over and over and hoping to see the album art for the song he wanted to play. Eddie’s laugh in the background was making him all the more flustered. And he finally caught himself before he managed to accidentally skip it. 

“ Even though I'm in love, Sometimes I get so afraid I'll say something so wrong Just to have something to say...”

Richie grinned and finally was able to stop fussing around his phone as he let the song speak for him. 

“ I know the moment isn't right to tell the girl a comical line to keep the conversation light I guess I'm just frightened out of my mind...”

He was sort of smug with his song choice, it was the perfect one. He glanced up at the window but Eddie was no longer there. His stomach dropped and was frozen in his spot. He shook himself and went to turn the racket off before Sonia came out to do it herself but he heard the door fling open. 

Eddie strolled over to him with a shy smile on his face. Richie shoved his hands in his pockets, not quite sure what to say. “I guess I forgive you, asshole.” Eddie reached over to pinch him. 

Richie’s confidence was back in five seconds flat as his smirk returned. “I knew you couldn’t resist me. I tell ya Eds, you gotta be swooning for this” He gestured at the speaker. 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “You tried, that’s what matters.” He put on a teasing voice and Richie swept him into a hug. 

“- It's undeniably real, Leave a tender moment alone. Yes I know I'm in love but just when I ought to relax I put my foot in my mouth-”

“Accurate.” Eddie mumbled into Richie’s chest, he gave ruffled his hair the way Eddie pretends to hate in return. 

(This is based on a post I saw by:  @adhdtozier.tumblr.com/ ! So thank you! The songs mentioned are ‘All star’ by Smash Mouth and ‘Leave A Tender Moment Alone’ by Billy Joel)