#I was so nervous I had to take a benzo😭

[bpdcodone]

I told my mother about my DID diagnosis she said she understood and said “it must be hard to live like that I’m so sorry” and she said she definitely saw it in me and understood now why my personality switched so often

[lordelmelloi2]

Roselife update End of July 

OK well july beat my ass ngl. Jugly fucked me up pretty bad. I went from like very delusional to like. Doing mildly okay. MADE SOME HEADWAY ON MY CAR ISSUE Okay so like in March 2 days before I moved my car broke down (it was the alternator, and its a shitty BMW so it’s hard to replace) rendering it unusable. It was a car that was essentially gifted to me so I got the title transferred over to me and then tried to take it to CarMax who told me they wanted $200 for it... yeah no and that was a mistake. They aren’t going to be able to sell it so that’s what they wanted essentially just to take it off my hands. Fuck that! 

Work has been beating my ass lately, I helped with another class this month (Tequila & Mezcal 101), next month I requested to help lead the cocktails class. Im NERVOUS!!!!! Personally I’d like to do the entire class over so it’d be more comprehensive but I understand it’s like the most basic 101 of 101s. I just like to be more elaborate lol. Maybe they’ll let me edit it or do other things. I mean we’re doing really basic classic cocktails like I’m pretty sure the lineup is a Negroni, Old Fashioned, Manhattan, Aperol Spritz & god what’s the last one uhhh. I’ll find it in my notes later but it’s another whiskey based cocktail I think. NO WAIT IT WAS THE NEW ORLEANS ONE HOLD ON IT WAS THE UM. ITS A SIDECAR WE DO SIDECARS IN THERE. If I was going to lead the class I’d include more modern ones too... maybe I can submit it for a class. Modern cocktails 101. That would be fucking awesome lol 

Sorry for lack of content I have been Working and doing other stuff like taking notes on drinking and doing other stuff 😭 At some point I really need to start studying for the Cicerone exam and get certified, work has given us the study materials and the certification exam stuff pre-paid but like as of last week my brain damage from 7 years of klonopin came back briefly and I was (technically still am) having some trouble from it. Which is to say that I had a Benzo Withdrawal Syndrome episode at random last Saturday after the worst Chinese Buffet Food and canned White Russian (fuck you Cutwater) of my life. Horrifying! Well there’s other RTD brands that are decent. Fuck cutwater

I’m more active on discord now Generally bc of convenience but I don’t like joining new servers unless it’s with people who are like similarly insane as I am ... no better way to explain it. I saw the new LEM2 Adventures book release I love Waver El Sexo and his beautiful beautiful jacket. I will post more images soon I swear on my life I almost missed my bus stop to work because I was doodling Waver the other day 😭