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cupidseok · 11 months

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necklace of stars, waiting for you by the carousel

PAIRING eunseok x reader

SYNOPSIS eunseok remembers all of his past lives. when he finally found his lover, he was unfortunately robbed of their time together. eunseok then continues to live multiple more lives, always in search of his lover, hoping they’ll meet again in another life.

GENRE reincarnation au, soulmate au, angst, fluff

WARNINGS death, a male being reincarnated into a female; do not read if uncomfortable with these topics !

AUTHOR’S NOTE i recently rewatched eunseok’s smrookies vlog where he went to everland and it reminded me of see you in my 19th life, so i decided to write this cause he was just too cute 🫶🏼 it’s also my first time writing something other than an essay for school work, so feedback is greatly appreciated. hope you enjoy this 🧡

WORD COUNT 1.7k

“won’t you ride the carousel with me ?”

“i want to go to the horror maze though.”

eunseok had lived many different lives. one after another. the years and lives he has lived seemed to blur together, until he met you. he had always been content with living alone, in isolation. he knew that all the relationships that he painstakingly built would inevitably disappear, like snowflakes melting on a warm palm. he knew that better than anyone else after the overwhelming heartbreaks he went through in his first few lives, which led him to be unfeeling and indifferent.

eunseok clearly remembers the exact moment in which his whole life started to change – the very moment in which your large doe eyes met his and a “sorry” slipped out of your mouth as you rushed to pick up the books you caused him to drop, a flush evident on your face. it was then that he started to allow himself to feel again, just for you.

“but that’s so scary ! let’s ride the carousel instead, please ? it’s our anniversary after all.”

“i’ll think about it.”

“eunseok !”

eunseok smiled softly at your pleas, wide eyes looking up at him. his heart fluttered with the delicate grace of snowflakes, on the brink of a winter wonderland of happiness.

“i’ll follow you wherever you go.”

he reached into his pocket and pulled out something.

“what’s that ?”

“for you.”

it was a pretty silver necklace with a star charm hanging off it. with both his and your initials engraved on each side of the charm. you turned around and let him clasp the necklace around you. it was so pretty to you.

idle chatter and music from the playlist eunseok made for you filled the confines of the car. your animated gestures when you talk, your sparkling eyes when the streetlights reflect on them, your adorable giggles when he makes a dad joke and your endless fidgeting in anticipation of your anniversary together. you in your slightly oversized pink parka, seated next to him in the warm and cozy car. eunseok feels as if all the empty crevices in his heart were overfilled with you and you alone. perhaps amidst the frost-kissed chapters of his life, there will be enchanting moments waiting to unfold.

a car’s honk.

“eunseok ! careful !”

the roads, slick with a layer of frozen precipitation, caused tires to screech and cars to veer out of control. amongst winter’s serene beauty, an ear-piercing symphony of metal crushing and glass shattering. swirling snowflakes, momentarily suspended in the aftermath.

eunseok regained consciousness to come face to face with his lover, bloodied and bruised. your pink parka stained red.

“no.”

he reached over his cut-up and trembling hand to cradle your head as he desperately searched for any sign of life.

“no please.”

eunseok’s heartbeat echoed painfully in his ears. why ? why in this life ? why is fate so unfair to me ?

“i’ll follow you wherever you go, my love.”

he cradled your unresponsive body close to his as he slowly felt himself losing consciousness.

sirens filled the neighbourhood as onlookers whispered amongst themselves. the stark contrast of the pure white snow against the pool of blood and pile of wreckage painted a macabre image. you and eunseok, close together in winter’s unforgiving embrace.

as the paramedics tried to pull the two limp bodies apart, they found out that they couldn’t as their silver necklaces were entangled together.

my first life without you

fate was unkind to eunseok in this life too. in this life, his name is jack somer, born in australia. because he was born into a poor family, eunseok worked really hard. he worked hard to earn enough to sustain himself and his family, consisting of his mother and brother from this life. he worked hard in hopes of seeing you once again. however, he was largely preoccupied with earning money for his family, so he could not put aside much time to look for you.

on very rare occasions, eunseok would manage to save up enough money to enter the local carnival. he would then spend his day sitting on the bench in front of the carousel, watching as people walked by. watching couples happily chatting with each other while holding each other’s hands. just like what you and him would have done if you both made it to the theme park that day. watching young children run around, causing their parents to freak out over them. just like the family you and he dreamed of having one day. watching people being together. just like you and him once were. but he never found you. or perhaps you were not reincarnated in this lifetime.

my second life without you

in this life, eunseok is well-known by many as marcelle beaumont, a famous french designer who established her career in fashion design through her winter collection. during the winter, you could see many citizens wearing pink parkas from her brand, the most popular item in her collection that was extremely well-received by the public. she wondered why the red parka wasn’t popular.

due to the successful launch of the clothing line, eunseok had plenty of connections to the rich and powerful in society. he utilised those connections to the fullest, but yet he still could not find any trace of you. or perhaps you were not reincarnated in this lifetime.

my fifth life without you

song kang. one of the top south korean actors. popular for his melodramas. you always loved to watch melodramas with him. and he would always pull you into his warm embrace afterwards to comfort you when you were upset about the expected tragic ending of the drama. this was eunseok’s fifth life without you already. and he was feeling increasingly anxious and uneasy without you by his side. it didn’t take much for him to act sad in dramas. after all, all he had to do was recall the accident and tears would start flowing endlessly.

as eunseok faced the large crowd, flash blinding his eyes, all he could do was put up a forced grimace. at every drama screening, his eyes would dart around, a tinge of hope as he scanned across every face in the crowd. as always, the knot in his stomach would tighten with every unmet gaze and he allowed defeat to seep into him once again. he later accepted that he would not find you in this life. or perhaps you were not reincarnated in this lifetime.

my eighth life without you

kazuha nakamoto was his name in this life. eunseok was a famous female japanese musician. he briefly wondered : had he been a famous japanese musician before ? but his memories of his past lives were foggy. it seems like he could not clearly recall anything that happened before he met you.

“memories” is yet another timeless song that eunseok would leave behind in this world. talking about his happy memories with you. in his life with you, you really loved a japanese group called akb48. maybe he could let you listen to “memories” when you both meet again. a song made just for you, eunseok thinks you’d really like that. he did not meet you in this lifetime either. how many years have passed ? he was getting tired. but it’s alright, because he’ll follow you wherever you are.

my tenth life without you

“it’s almost been a thousand years.”

eunseok sat on a bench, facing the front of the carousel. he was dressed to the nines in his sharp and sleek suit tailored just for him, with an expensive silver watch adorning his wrists and a silver star necklace hidden underneath his crisp white blouse. a pink parka laid on his lap, in case he got cold. in this life, he was reborn as song eunseok once again. this time, he is the son of a ceo in south korea.

“where are you ? i’ve been trying to find you yet there’s not a single trace of you for me to follow.”

eunseok continued to sit at the bench for hours, staring at the spinning carousel and trying to block out the laughter from all around him. he felt hollow. the heart-wrenching feeling he had experienced every day since he got separated from you was slowly fading, replaced instead by emptiness. it was as if he returned to his past self, the cold and emotionless person he was before he met you.

soon it was almost 8pm, and eunseok stood up from his seat, ready to leave. he bumped into someone of a rather short stature, carrying a telescope stand that seemed too heavy for them.

“hi sir ! are you leaving already ? there’s a special stargazing event tonight hosted by the celestial horizon society ! i’m part of it. would you like to join us ?”

“no, it’s alright. thank you for the offer,” eunseok muttered an excuse, wanting to get home and rest already. he was exhausted with the paperwork that his father piled on him and his driver was waiting for him.

“but the event is only for today; it would be a shame if you missed it ! stars are really pretty, you know. i can tell you must like them too; you even have a star necklace ! it suits you very well, by the way.”

eunseok hadn’t even noticed that his necklace had accidentally slipped out of his blouse, being too engrossed in his thoughts beforehand. he gently slid his thumb over the necklace, feeling the engravings of your initials.

“okay.”

“great ! i’ll lead you there, sir ! my name is y/n, sorry i forgot to introduce myself,” you tilted your head so that the telescope stand wasn’t hiding your face anymore.

as eunseok’s eyes lay on the sight of your face, the frosty air seemed to tighten around his chest, creating an icy embrace that left him breathless.

“you. i finally found you.”

“sorry sir, have we perhaps met before ?” a confused expression overcoming your soft features.

“no. we have not. but i would like to get to know you. i’m song eunseok, nice to meet you, y/n. before we go stargazing, would you like to ride the carousel with me ?”

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jenyifer · 7 months

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Dead Friend Forever Ep 9 initial reaction

HELL YES I WAS FUCKING RIGHT on multiple fronts wooooo I love it when things go the way I want.

Although also I was wrong on one thing which is slightly disappointing but whatever!!!!

I do have new questions because I’ve rewatched ep 1 and there are some things that still ain’t quite clicking. I’ll put the questions at the bottom.

Let’s get into the photo review.

Okay I was suspecting drugging of the water when they showed Non getting drunk on something on the tape White saw. But what is up with Jin MAINLY feeling guilt about the teacher not Non. Very weird. He’s seen the dead teacher multiple times unless that’s Por? Which I don’t think so? Jin doesn’t know he’s dead yet.

Oh Non…. 😭😭 I felt his absence all episode really it felt like he was always just in the background of all the actions.

As an older sister I would never fucking stop if this happened to my little sister. New had obviously tried to be the perfect child for his parents to the point of ignoring his brother. I believe he fucking studied his ass off because in pretending to be Tan we saw how fucking smart he really was again and again.

I’m ready to hunt them all down too. I don’t blame Tan for being fucking pissed at Phee about getting too close to Jin. Because Phee annoyingly didn’t find out anything when we as the viewers know Jin DESERVES A SHIT TON OF BLAME DEFINITELY MORE THAN POR. Anyways. So it is tough to watch the lovey Dovey scenes then see Tan trying his hardest to get justice for his brother Tan NEVER stops.

Okay so White is younger and he’s not in on the scheme then. Idk when Tee starts dating him but I am kind of glad he had some happiness. As much as what he did to Non is fucked he did feel bad about it and was forced into it by his dad needing medication that his uncle paid for also his uncle probably paid for him a place to live too.

Oh so maybe baby is alive. Or he was alive longer than Tee and Top pulling him out of the house anyways.

Okay so I haven’t rewatched all of the early eps but I don’t know if Phee is aware Jin leaked the vid of Non. Also I find Jin’s approach to relationships psychotic. He’s extremely possessive and focused on his interest but he doesn’t really consider them people. When Phee tells him ‘oh we are just friends’ Jin doesn’t talk to him in two years?! I mean maybe Phee had a bad day or whatever it seems insane for Jin to assume he’s desperately in love with Tan and did it all to shame Jin in some way when what Phee did was consensual causal fling. But then again didn’t Jin go fucking crazy when he saw Non and Phee together from behind. Jin wanted non to be his but was ready to hate him at the drop of a hat. Jin didn’t love Phee or Non he loved the idea of being in a relationship with them for himself. He’s a narcissist.

Oh so Tan/New is fucking desperate his mom and dad are dead his brother has been missing for years and he doesn’t have any leads. The police have given up. Phee his only ally has basically given up as well.

Okay so the bathroom scene with Tee there was smoke. I guess the alcohol at the party is what Por was tripping on before he went into the woods. But also… someone had to have cut on Por…? Idk. I guess Tan drugged Top although I’m still iffy on that. So everything we have seen are the boys biggest darkest fears interesting.

So things I got right

New = Tan

Early events were hallucinations

Thing I got wrong

Phee doesn’t know what Jin has done

White is not involved with Phee and Tan

Questions I have.

Is Top mega drugged? Or did Tan get close to Top and he’s made Top confess already and while he is on drugs he’s actually in on the revenge thing. We did see Tan is probably closest to Top.

Is there another person involved still? Who slashed Pors arms with Non’s knife and left it in the basement? I previously thought it was the teacher but the teacher and Non’s fates are together I think they either both survived or are both dead probably the second one.

Still like to know more about White.

Is Non alive? He was dressed differently in that bus photo.

Why are Tee and Por’s personalities so changed when they meet Phee and Tan.

Is the cult thing real then? Because Tan said he got the herb from that cult right? I thought it was a set and made up for movie.

Why didn’t they make another movie I assume Por’s parents would have wanted him to do that.

#dead friend forever #dead friend forever the series #dff the series #dff #dff episode 9 #dff ep 9 #dff meta #Jenny’s watching

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fionacle · 1 year

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Very long post so I’m putting it under the cut. Analysis of Tobey trying to figure out WordGirl’s identity.

When Tobey brought up “Cash or Pie” in the first episode of WordGirl (Tobey or Consequences), he was making a callback to the episode The Wrath of Tobey from The Amazing Colossal Adventures of WordGirl (the shorts about WordGirl before it became an actual full show), the third episode from the trilogy about the day WordGirl met him for the first time (the first two being Play Date and Tobey or Not Tobey). That show was on tv on the same day he accused Becky of being WordGirl, she used it as an example of a hullabaloo. But it might not have just been a callback for observant viewers, what if him confirming that WordGirl is familiar with Cash or Pie was part of him putting together that she is becky? What if he's 24/7 trying to prove that, even when not in an episode about figuring it out and being convinced he was wrong?

This happened once in the previously mentioned episodes of The Amazing Colossal Adventures of WordGirl, and once in WordGirl. It’s in my memory that in other episodes he’s been suspicious of Becky being WordGirl even if he doesn't make an explicit accusation, but upon rewatching episodes I thought had this happen, he simply makes confused remarks and completely believes Becky’s excuses, so unless it happens in other ones I forgot about, this may be a false memory. He is still, however. the only one who ever deduces that Becky is WordGirl, possibly because he is the only with a personal relationship with both, also he stalks WordGirl but it’s also a testimate to his intelligence.

You may be tempted to mention how Dr. Two Brains figured it out once, but that only happened because he made a giant ear to listen in on cheese-related conversations and accidentally heard her talking about her identity, it was by complete luck. And while Violet and Scoops have found out, both only did so because they saw Becky transform into WordGirl, and Becky admitted to it after being asked about it, they didn’t figure it out.

Tobey, however, deduced it completely on his own, and his 'Prove Becky is WordGirl' plans are always quite smart: trap becky with him while he has his robots attacking the city, which forces her into only having the options of revealing her identity and saving the city, or letting it get crushed by robots, but the in the latter the fact WordGirl wouldn’t show up would make her seem pretty dang suspicious anyway (see later paragraph). Both times they get out of it by having Huggy pretend to be her.

The first time they were in her front yard, close by in a small space where Tobey didn’t have his eyes locked on her, so she had Huggy go in dressed as WordGirl. This made him look over at Huggy, thinking WordGirl was there and Becky was still next to him, thinking Becky and WordGirl were both present, then she quickly flew over and defeated the robot before flying back beside Tobey as Becky, completing the ruse.

The second time, By Jove You’ve Wrecked My Robots!, Tobey was no longer a stranger to Becky, it’s almost scary seeing how smart he got, he took the time to go over every detail of their last encounter with the argument, he thought of everything. The robots were really far away, and Tobey was keeping his full attention on Becky. He knew trickery was up, so he didn’t take his eyes off her for a second, except for when he went to the bathroom, but that would have been an opportunity for Becky to transform into WordGirl, so if the robots had been defeated while he was in there he probably would have brought it up as further evidence.

He eventually brings up how he now has proof that Becky is WordGirl, since even though the city was full of robots, WordGirl hadn’t shown up to fight them, “…the only reason that she wouldn’t is if she couldn’t leave her own living room without getting caught by me!” He set up a situation where he had multiple chances to prove Becky was WordGirl, and any time things stacked up it only made it clearer for him. When Huggy was heard taking down robots while they talked (so Becky could again seem to be in two places at once), he CORRECTLY GUESSES the situation, “That’s probably just your annoying sidekick fighting my robits!,” and when Becky replies “How do you know?,” He replies, “Well, I realized that this might be a problem,” and we find out he even put cameras up on his robots, because he somehow figured out that last time Huggy had been involved. The only reason they were able to get out of this was by WordGirl and Huggy somehow figuring out he had those cameras, so while Huggy defeated the robots he put a wordgirl doll up to the cameras so it seemed like she was there. It even had a pullstring catchphrase, which helped sell it. A year or so of meticulous planning thwarted by a doll.

Watching the episodes Play Date, Tobey or Not Tobey, The Wrath of Tobey, Tobey or Consequences, and By Jove You’ve Wrecked My Robots! back to back really puts into perspective just how smart Tobey is.

I’d also like to bring up the added genius that this analysis reveals in the WordGirl fanfiction Saving Tobey by Night N. Gail (available on fanfic.net and AO3).

(Spoilers, by the way. It’s incredible, I absolutely recommended reading it, as well as its sequel Time To Go Home, and their technical prequel Captain’s Log which is really just a prequel to all of WordGirl so it’s not really relevant to the fanfic plot.)

------ Spoiler Prevention Line! ------

When Tobey finally actually found out WordGirl’s secret identity, he used basically the same tactic, but the differences were that this time they were in his house, and Huggy wasn’t there to help, which trapped Becky so much more and actually forced her to reveal herself. I won’t go into such in-depth analysis of how he did it, but changing the factors of location and Huggy availability being all he needed to outsmart her is incredible, finally he’s been able to think of every single little detail and he has her in his clutches. It’s completely understandable how terrified Becky was of what he’d do with the information, only a criminal mastermind goes to that level. But in this case it was just a smart little boy with a creepily obsessive crush.

Smart fucking author, I tell you. What an absolutely correct choice on how to have him figure it out. Read this fic, man, fuck it’s good. There’s a reason that guy keeps trying the same tactic, he knows he’s so close, so to have him continue it but get it RIGHT this time?! It feels so good. THAT’S the Tobey move right there. If the show had continued, even if it was overall written differently, I really hope he would’ve figured it out and done so in this way, it is so completely perfect. Do you even understand how much this fic and character and show matter?

#wordgirl #tobey wordgirl #theodore tobey mccallister iii #tobey mccallister #tobey mcallister iii #becky botsford #becky wordgirl #wordgirl tobey #wordgirl becky #Play Date #Tobey or Not Tobey #The Wrath of Tobey #Tobey or Consequences #By Jove You’ve Wrecked My Robots!#Saving Tobey #ferrenpost #*grabbing you by the shoulders and screaming in your face* I LOVE WORDGIRL CAN YOU TELL #not to be narcissistic but #favs

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slasherbabi · 2 years

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CG!Eddie Munson X Shifter Age regressor

Summary: An age regressor who is a fan of the show stranger things accidentally shifts one night, escaping a difficult home life. They wake up at the park Bench the high school and run into none other than Eddie himself.

Chapter One: BB shifts for the first time and meets Eddie.

Warnings: Fem descriptions and pronouns, somewhat of a self insert, so certain pet names in use. Mild mention of abusive home and mentions of depression, SH and ED.

Not Proofread

Im hoping to make this a multiple part thing and thinking I should nickname her BB (baby bat)

A yawn came from BB's lips, rubbing her eyes tiredly and laying her head on the cold pillow beneath her, on her phone played season 4 of stranger things, it was probably the 3rd time it was being rewatched. It was all that brought her comfort at this point, she wished so much she could be there and be part of the group, more importantly, part of hellfire. Her eyes cast down to the oversized Hellfire club shirt, currently being used as pyjamas as well as a pair of shorts. She let out a sigh and grabbed a pillow, hugging it close as she began to cry, burying her face in the material to cover the noise. She wanted badly to regress, to be away from here, anything. Before long, the girl drifted off, the sounds of the show still playing in her headphones quietly, imagining Eddie beside her, stroking her hair gently and cuddling her close.

When BB woke, her legs and arms were cold, her face was rest against her forearm, crossed beneath her. She groans and lifts her head, frowning slightly at the brightness around her.

"What..." Her mind finally collected, she was surrounded by tall, dense forest, her heart began to race intensely, where the hell was she? How did she get here? She jumped up from the picnic bench she was sat on, tripping back a little and falling onto a bed of pebbles and sticks, she groans and wobblily tries to get up, getting on her hands and knees before seeing a pair of converse and she froze.

"You okay there?"

That voice, she'd heard it before. BB's eyes went up, travelling across black jeans, a chain, denim sleeveless jacket and... a hellfire shirt. Finally, a mess of dark curly hair.

"Hellooo? Can you hear me? Did you hit your head?" He crouched down making her shoot up with a yelp. "Hey... it's okay I'm not gonna-" He titlted his head and frowned looking at her shirt. "Hey where did you get that?" His voice was a little more stern now, he'd made all of the shirts with the club himself, he would have known if there was an extra or a spare, did she steal it?

"This can't be happening... T-this... No no you're not real! You're not real!!" BB crouched down, hugging her knees as she breathes heavily, Eddies face softened, thinking what he was seeing was a bad trip. He sat beside her. "Hey, it's okay... you're safe." He spoke a lot softer now, brushing her long hair from her face trying to get her to look at him. "I've seen this before, come on, my van is really close, lets get you warm and safe." He looked at her legs seeing they were scratched and cut up. "Can you walk?" She was still hyperventilating and shaking a little, not answering him and trying her best to hide behind dark hair. "I need you to nod yes or no if I can take you to my van." She hesitates breathing heavily, trying her best to focus on his question, but it was hard, he shouldn't even be here in the first place. Eventually she nods, gasping when she was lifted into the air, a bright blush on her face as she held onto him tight, afraid she'd be too heavy and fall.

Soon the two exited the woods, Eddies van parked at the curb "See? That's it right there, that okay?" She nods again, just staring up at him with a bewildered look "You okay?" He chuckles a little at the look on her face. "Lets get you a little food and water okay?" He opens the van and sits her on the mattress in the back, turning on the lights in the back "Pretty cool huh?" He gives her a big smile, and his heart slightly melted seeing her lips twitch up into her own small smile. Eddie took some of the sheets and wrapped them around her, "There you go, nice and warm. Now, I have some poptarts, is that okay?" BB nods softly, watching as he climbed to the front of his van and began searching the door pockets and glove box, opening them and handing them over with a bottle of water.

"Eddie?" He froze, she knew his name, furthering his belief that she must have gotten the shirt from a member of the group.

"Yeah?"

"Where am I?" He frowns at the question and tilts his head a little,

"Uhm, you're in Hawkins." That's what she thought, but it wasn't possible "Listen I know my group, none of them have girlfriends, unless they're lying to me," He mumbles the last part "So, where'd you get the shirt little lady." Eddie did his best to remain soft spoken, not wanting to startle her anymore.

"You wouldn't believe me, I don't even believe it myself..." BB sighs and nibbles at the corner of the pop tart.

"Try me." She chews her lip keeping her eyes down, the hair in front of her face.

"I'm not from here, like not just Hawkins, but, where I am from, you're a TV character. I watched the show every night to help me fall asleep." She left out details of his and Chrissy's death, and her huge crush on him.

"I'm that boring huh?" He jokes a little before looking at her seriously, "Okay, for real now, what have you taken, and where did you get the shirt?"

"I haven't taken anything, I bought the shirt from a Merch shop, look." She pulled at her collar to show him the label. "You have a band called corroded coffin, you used to have buzzed hair, you run a DND club." She listed off other random facts as well as the members of Hellfire club, and Eddie made a mental note to interrogate all of them to see who set up this strange, invasive prank.

"Well, you can't keep up this act forever, where do you live I'll drop you off." Eddie got up and made his way to the front of the van, his patience was waring thin.

"I don't have anywhere." He paused,

"Come sit down, you can stay with me..." He sighs. BB made her way to the front of the van and sat down, blushing again when he leant over to strap her in.

They get back to his trailer, Eddie parks up before turning to her.

"You can sleep in here or in my room, I'll sleep on the couch, which do you want?" BB looks down fidgeting with her fingers, "Okay, you can have my bed." He unstraps her again and she began to feel it, she was slipping. BB tried her best to ignore it, but his little gestures were the most cared for she'd felt in a while. Even more so when he lifted her.

"W-what are you doing?" She gasps and clings to him again.

"Your legs are all cut up, you've not got any shoes, I'm carrying you little lady." He winks playfully, before the thought that this may be one of his friends sisters or cousins, and began to feel a little guilty, especially seeing her blush at his words. Eddie got her inside and took her to his room, sitting her on his bed before digging through all sorts of containers.

"What's your name?" He spoke out as he was still searching.

"Hm? Oh... um, I don't really like it, but, Bonnie Bryce..." BB continues to fidget awkwardly watching him search through his things. Bryce? He didn't know anyone with that name, he'd still interrogate his friends though.

"Cute name, if you don't like it though, I could call you BB." he pulled out a little bag and came and sat in front of her, taking note of the shy smile behind her hair, watching her nod. "Okay this is gonna sting a little BB..." he began to clean the cuts and grazes on her legs with an alcohol wipe, feeling guilty at the little whimpers from her and the sight of her clutching his bed. "All done!" He looks up at her with his hands up "See it's okay, you're okay... now, princess Band-Aids for a princess?" He pulled out a few pink Band-Aids, he had them in all colours, before grabbing a pen and doodling flowers, hearts and princesses on them, he couldn't help adding a few bats too, putting them over her cuts before seeing faint scars further up her leg, he sighs quietly and looks away.

As the night progressed, BB told him more and more about the real, modern world, and not only was he amazed, he was starting to believe her. She had changed, wearing an old hoodie of his, covered in different doodles and patches and bleach drawings,, and a pair of sweatpants, the hellfire shirt remained. "Welp! I don't know about you, but I am hungry, left over pizza?" He gave her a wide playful grin "Not much else in the house so..."

"Sure, thank you." She smiles softly and waves goodbye, the hoodie sleeves covering her hands. Eddie left and immediately put his hand over his heart dramatically before chuckling and going to reheat the pizza. While it was reheating he grabbed the phone and called Gareth.

"You've reached Gareth the Great."

"Who is she?"

"You gotta elaborate Ed's."

"The girl, she said she was called Bonnie Bryce? She was at my spot and she knew all this shit about me so I know one of you sent her, HA HA very funny."

"Don't know any Bonnie dude, never heard of her, maybe you've got a stalker." The smirk on Gareths lips could be heard through the phone, Eddie rolls his eyes.

"Shut up."

"Someone's got a little crush on our Edd-" Eddie hung up before he could say anything else, just in time for the pizzas to be reheated. He plates both and shoves two cokes in his pocket before bringing them in. "Hope you're hungry!" He grins and hands her the plate, sitting beside her and giving her a coke too. "So... You're really from the future then, future girl." He chuckles. BB smiles and nibbles nodding awkwardly.

"More like, a different reality..."

"Am I your favourite character?" Eddie grins smugly, BB went quiet looking down making his smile grow wider "I am aren't I?!" He laughs and ruffles her hair making her curl into her self even more with shyness. Eddie grins and puts the hood up for her before looking at her plate "You've barely eaten... you okay?" She nods softly with that guilty, sickly feeling.

"Y-yeah, sorry, just not very hungry..." Her response makes Eddie tsk.

"Can you try eat a little more cutie? For me...?" BB's heart skipped a beat, nodding shyly and trying to eat a few more pieces.

"I'm just gonna be..."Eddie points towards the couch with a sheet draped over it, "Right there. Okay?" BB nods softly and moves to get comfortable.

"Thank you Eddie." She smiles up at him sleepily making his heart yet again melt.

"No problem princess BB." He kisses the top of her head before grabbing some pyjamas "Goodnight."

Eddie makes his way to the couch, changing into a loose black shirt and grey shorts, tying his hair up loosely and was just about to lay down and get comfortable when he heard crying coming from his room, loud and panicked. He immediately shot up and rushed to his room. "Bonnie?!" He opens the door to see her writhing and crying, obviously having some sort of night terror. "Hey hey! Bonnie!" He knelt on the bed and cradles her against his chest, "Bonnie wake up!" (couldn't resist) BB jolted awake, looking up at him in shock before burying her face in his chest and crying. "Shhhh, it's okay, you're safe... you're safe, I got you..."

Once she'd calmed down, she sniffles and looks up at him "C-can you stay...? Please."

"Of course... I'm right here, anything you need..." Eddie whispers to her, laying down and keeping her on his chest, his arms wrapped around her tightly, stroking through her hair.

A/N: A little long and not much regression stuff but oh well, the next ones will have a lot more. Also here is BB.

#cg! eddie munson #CG! eddie munson x age regressor #cg!eddie #eddie munson x little!reader #cg!eddie x agere!#agerespace #comfic #comfort character #stranger things #stranger things x oc #eddie x oc #eddie munson x oc

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chirpsythismorning · 1 year

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Hi.what make you believe byler is endgame and how do you think The Duffer will make them endgame?

There's a lot of different factors for why I believe byler is endgame. If it was only one or two or three or a single digit amount of things, then I'd probably be more skeptical. Instead it's so many things that I don't think I can even quantify with any number?

Long post ahead so queue for later if you must!

I used to ship milkvan back in the day, and that's probably because I watched the show once and fell for the whole boy meets girl trope as peak romance, without even thinking about it? Like my first time rewatching the show pre-s3, I remember only focusing on their scenes and even going as far as to skip entire episodes in s2 without them in it, so it's really no wonder I missed details that might have helped me understand the full picture.

I also don't get queer-baited, like ever. I have watched shows like Teen Wolf where fans loved sterek, and even though that show had a gay show-runner, it was obvious to me they were never going that route, despite kind of feeding fans over the years with banter between them. The problem was the details weren't pointing to them being endgame, they were pointing to stydia. With stydia, they were using color coding in their costumes and had the fucking red string of fate in the frame with them multiple times and they were having entire plot lines built up around sort of their feelings for each other. Then there's all the other shows out there like Supernatural and Sherlock, and to me, it just felt like two guys that had chemistry that fans read as romantic and were having fun with it, only for the writers to try to profit off of that hope fans had, just sort of fucking with fans for years without really going for it literally in the text of the story.

And even if they did (albeit extremely subtly) that's when you would see shows tend to kill off the characters. Because after years of queer-baiting, the only solution is to kill at least one off, after tricking a sector of your audience for so long. Because unfortunately, no, they're not going to end up together, so we just have to get rid of one of them to make it clear that it won't happen.

While I don't vividly remember the moment I dropped Milkvan and picked up byler, I do remember watching s3 for the first time and feeling like something was off. And then to humor my confusion, I went online and came across an analysis for the end of s3. Even though it did really made me think like 'woah.. what was that?', in the moment, I was still in a position to not want to fall for it because of all the queer-baiting out there. I'd never fallen for it before and I wasn't going to start now basically.

And then I didn't read any more theories after that, I just basically jumped into rewatching the show for fun again, without really thinking about it even, and without skipping this time. And I vividly remember the shed scene definitely had some romantic undertones going on. When the camera was focused on Mike talking to Will, we didn't get any reaction shots in between of Joyce and Jonathan. Whereas when Joyce and Jonathan talked to Will, we got Mike's reaction and both Jonathan and Joyce's kind of reactions to each others speeches in that moment, which was to obviously convey the familial bond going on. And so in contrast, seeing Mike's monologue to Will be isolated, without any cuts to the others reactions during, with intense close-ups of Mike and Will, with Mike literally having one by one teardrops falling down his face and him repeating softly you said yes, you said yes... That... Like it made me really start to consider it in that moment, based on my new potential understanding of the end of s3 and based on what I had found upon rewatching that time.

Even still though, I didn't let myself believe it. And maybe in large part it was bc I did like the idea of byler I guess? And so that made me want to be more cautious? Other times when I came across fans shipping queer pairings that weren't canon, it felt like harmless shipping to me, where like I got the appeal, but didn't like feel genuine intentional slow-burn chemistry? It was always a thing that at most I liked merely as fanon. And so I guess I was trying to prepare myself for that inevitable disappointment that it wasn't going to go any further than what it had?

Maybe it was also because I was holding onto this idea of milkvan I had at the beginning? An idea that in large part contributed to my ability to get hooked with the show in the first place? Boy meets girl is like the most universal trope in our society and it was easy to just go along with it when everyone else was.

But more than anything I do think it was because I thought it just had to be queer-bait like it's always has been. At best I thought maybe it would continue very vaguely in the subtext in s4, with like 1 or two scenes at most hinting at attraction? But we all know that's not what happened..

S4 promo dropped, and I remember being like well here goes. It had been over a year, almost two since I'd been exposed to the possiblity of byler, though I was going into it prepared to see Mike and El being perfectly in love and that they were just going to act like nothing had ever happened between Mike and Will.

But then that Cali poster dropped. And that had me reeling. I remember sending a text to my sister like 'QUEER-BAIT?' and she was like yep queer-bait. But that's also because she's in the mindset of someone that hasn't seen anything outside of watching the show, and while half paying attention at that. This is the first piece of evidence she is being presented with and so of course she is viewing it from a don't hope or assume that could ever happen bc it never happens lens.

Even that I took as maybe a reality check, that this meant nothing, but also at the same time, this is the Duffer Brothers? They're smart? Why would they apply the if boy is pointing his feet at you he is in love with you rule via New Girl, with Mike and Will in the Cali poster, for shits and giggles? When the whole point in those posters is to hide foreshadowing?

Regardless of how much it genuinely shocked me they were appearing to really play with this concept of Mike having romantic feelings for Will, I still didn't fully let myself think about it too much...

And then as s4 got closer and more stuff dropped and there was like a lot of promo hinting Will having feelings for Mike, that's when it really kicked in for me. And that's when I went back and rewatched and holy shit it suddenly became clear as fucking day. My excitement for Vol. 1 was insurmountable because I was just about to have all of these recent built up theories confirmed or denied.

When Vol. 1 finally premiered and it turned out Mike couldn't say I love you to El? And Will very clearly had feelings for Mike, staring at him constantly when he wasn't looking and conveniently with Mike's POV missing by comparison? There was just too much at play that perfectly set-up byler.

Mike having a hard time telling El he loves her, while also having a best friend beside him who is in love with him, like, that's sort of what makes it clear that this is them trying to create a conflict that easily transitions into this revelation that the reason why Mike couldn't commit to El was because he was struggling over repressed feelings for his best friend.

And then that doesn't even include all the details along the way that support it. Like closet scenes for example weren't able to be harmless anymore post-s3, they just weren't. That scene at the end with El and Mike in Will's room established this idea that Mike is in the closet, and s4 did not let up on that idea whatsoever.

We were being bombarded with very basic film techniques that any filmmaker would be thinking about to establish the story and setting and create a feeling to convey a message through all of that.

They did not need to have Mike sitting in front of his closet at the very start of s4. They did not have to have a one way sign pointing to it. They did not have to have two dudes with muscles on his walls while most of the other guys either have stuff completely unrelated to the human form or bikini clad woman. They did not have to show Mike in focus more while staring at Eddie fondly as he talks about DnD and getting out of Hawkins. They did not have to have Mike go searching for DnD replacements in the wrestling room and the art room followed by saying, I hate high school.

The I hate high school line is viewed by most of us as a throw away comedic sort of line. But it really isn't. In fact it's arguably as deep as without heart we'd all fall apart, which is why they literally had that be Mike's quote alongside that one being Will's quote for the season.

Mind you, all of this shit in 4x01 is happening after Mike just episodes ago, in the previous season, sort of treated playing DnD like it was something kids did and told Will he felt this way, by essentially saying he assumed they'd be getting girlfriends and moving on from this idea that they can play games for the rest of their lives.

So Mike in s3 went from I want to grow up and have a girlfriend and stop playing dnd bc it is childish, to in s4 Do you want to play with me? I will literally settle for an absolute stranger rn, literally anyone? No? Uh. I hate high school aka I don't want to grow up. Now he thinks that he's the childish one when really, it doesn't have to be, if he just opened his mind to it.

Watching s3-4 back to back is actually so real bc it's showcasing Mike's complete shift, a shift that basically got flipped from s1-2 to s3 to s3 to s4, and it's directly related to his relationship with El and Will (along with his parents who all of s2 punished him by taking away his toys when he acted out bc of trauma/called his toys hunks of plastic and to essentially be used as collateral bc he's going to need to grow up eventually anyways). And we see how that is conveyed when he shows up to Cali unlike his true self, he just reverts right back to trying to be someone else like in s3. Only now he's trying to pull off a Cali look on-top of it, wearing sunglasses as he mumbles an incoherent sound, something like, 'eahauw' as he rushes up to kiss and hug El, putting the flowers between them so he had an excuse to separate sooner than later, followed actually voicing words to will, moving his duffel back out of the way to hug will properly, w/out sunglasses, visibly very happy to see Will, only to not even be able to hug him by cutting it short. AND for Argyle to confirm our suspicions by calling him a knock off?? NOW I'M REALIZING IT'S TOO MUCH YELLOW? Come on!?

That's another thing, the end of s3 hug between Will and Mike literally ends with Mike looking like he is in physical pain. Like dude looks like he was burned. He looks like a mixture of angry and heartbroken. And so having that, followed up with Mike barely even being able to properly hug Will properly 2 episodes later..? Gee I wonder why?

And then it just spirals from there.

The entire season Mike is by definition emotionally cheating on El, assuming that they are even technically still together atp. There's a reason they had her say From El, and it's so that there was this sense of maybe they were technically broken up now or even just on a break rn, since they wouldn't see each other for who knows how long? Maybe never again? And so that was a writing choice made in large part to allow all of these moments between Mike and Will throughout the season to feel romantic coded and for us to comfortably view them as such. Same with how they did that with Jonathan and Nancy in s2. They create conflict that is near breakup territory, without outright saying I want to break up, and then they throw them with their other love interest and create tension.

When it comes to like how I think s5 could go down with byler, I have a few different thoughts about how that would play out. Obviously I love byler but there's a lot of other stuff going on so this would just be one aspect of the greater overall story. But for the sake of this post I'm going to focus on Byler possibilities.

Them holding off until Vol. 2, literally 2 weeks exactly after the premiere, to have Noah officially release a statement saying We now know Will is 100% gay and in love with Mike, that is them clearly knowing the gravity of revealing stuff too soon to an audience that might not be ready for it. They saw the reaction to s4 and they waited and then they made that choice to discuss it the way they did. That was the point they decided they were willing to tell the truth of the situation, including Noah admitting for the first time, that they've been hinting at Will's feelings since s1, and so he had to always be vague about things to avoid spoiling the Duffers surprise. And while they're doing this, when they talk about Mike's feelings about the situation, it is always that he has absolutely no idea.

There would be no justifiable reason to hold off on admitting Will's feelings for Mike outside of canon, only to admit they've been hinting at it since s1, if there wasn't actually something yet to see be revealed, making this revelation so late in the game, justifiable.

The main thing that we get from Mike being oblivious of Will's feelings, is that if Mike doesn't know, then technically he hasn't rejected Will yet. Because how can he have rejected Will if he has no idea? Answer, he can't!

And so now there is one season left and they are choosing to hold off on Mike's knowledge about Will's feelings? After they just finally admitted after 4 seasons that they've been avoiding telling us about Will's feelings, despite hints from the beginning because they didn't want to ruin the surprise?

What surprise though bro? Slow-burn unrequited love??? There isn't any such thing. Because that wouldn't be satisfying!

It takes us right back to the line Will makes in s3 (mid-series) to Joyce about how he's never gonna fall in love. It's not that he doesn't want to or even hasn't yet at all, it's that he doesn't believe experiencing mutual love with the person he has feelings for is in the cards for him, bc odds are, that person is going to be straight.

But... How is it satisfying to hold off on even admitting Will's feelings for Mike until the second to last season, only to hold off on Mike's POV of the situation until the last season, just to say at the last minute, Well, Will, you were right!...? Like, no.

And so I genuinely think the same thing they did with Will is happening to Mike in a sense, in that by sort of dancing around the situation with answers that don't even allow you to answer the question, by saying Mike is clueless, they can avoid delving into what exactly Mike would think. They can just say Oh of course he will accept Will and leave it at that.

The thing is, if I'm supposed to be rooting for Mike and El, these choices that they've been making, to practically infect all of their scenes with Will in the frame looking like a kicked puppy, it's not giving endgame, it's giving I should be praying for this kid to get a happy ending who is fully convinced that he won't get it.

The main question I have, is are they going to hold off the slow-burn for as long as they can, or are they going to do something unprecedented and make it happen sooner than anyone expects?

I guess for now I think that it's the most likely they will hold off until 5x07 for like the big obvious endgame moment? Slow-burn tends to thrive in it's true form, aka slow-burn until the very end. So it would make sense to have these barriers in place that prevent Mike and Will from truly realizing they have mutual feelings or something of that nature, and then acting on it. That doesn't mean the audience wouldn't be clued in on those feelings earlier in the season, but I think them both accepting those feelings and coming together and choosing to be together is something that won't be like established fully until the end.

THOUGH I will say there is one scenario I could see them manage to have Mike and Will realize those feelings sooner than we think and it's because of the satanic allegations... If Will and Mike were to ever get caught in a precarious situation, by someone in the town already accusing these kids of being the cause, specifically Mike as a member of Hellfire and specifically Will as the kid who has been connected to all of this, it would be sort of visceral seeing how that could play out with them being viewed as like a symbolic indicator of the incoming apocalypse.

Though then again, they still might not get together until like episode 7, bc with the last couple episodes being like 2 hours long, it's possible the homophobic/satanic aspect of it could come into play around then. I think it would be really critical to see other peoples reactions in the story to them getting together, including their family and friends, but also potentially the community bc that would go full circle with what went down in s1 and how like the whole community had an opinion about Will's sexuality even as a kid.

Early s5 is a big indicator of how everything will go down though. I don't think that they'll get separated and be apart the whole season, bc they made a point to convey in s4 that they want to make sure to give the audience a lot of groundwork to root for them and so I think s5 has to be much of the same for it to end in a way that has most of the audience full-on rooting for them and just screaming at their screen for them to kiss already.

However, I do think it's possible we could see them get separated for like 1 episode, maybe 2 but probably not 2 full episodes, I think the reunion would happen sometime at the end of 1 or 2 episodes.

I think Will is likely going to be targeted by Vecna, arguably already was at the end of s4, and then there's birthdaygate to address. Maybe he gets forgotten by everyone as a result of the memory/time trickery that Vecna has going on. And so we could see that play a role in them being separate for a bit while that is resolved, which would likely be early s5, to sort of mirror early s1. But then I think they would reunite by like the 3rd episode and work together most of the season as a team. And we will probably be aware of Mike's feelings in these moments because we would've just presumably gotten a bunch of parallels to s1 and considering Mike and El are broken up, it's going to be difficult to see Mike be so up in arms about Will after all of that romantic subtext, only to be with him and be looking at him like he hung the stars and shit. Even if Will isn't doing the same bc he's like convinced himself at this point Mike doesn't like him back, that would just make it even more clear bc it would be them finally showing us Mike's POV, after hiding it so much in s3-4. It would also sort of wake up those fans who had insisted Mike couldn't feel the same bc there would be no reason to do all of that for nothing.

Another way I could see it going down is by Mike basically somehow making 'a deal with god' (Vecna) that takes him instead. Maybe it's about saving Will who is trying to sacrafice himself already. Or maybe it's a way to save Max and it's sort of a last minute thing that is intended to cause them a lot of grief. Bc we know Vecna loves fucking with them. This would fit into the whole without heart we'd all fall apart, and the whole how am I gonna survive a whole week w/out you guys and Mike getting out in the DND game at the start of s4, along with like the whole theory about how if a paladin breaks an oath they basically have to go on a mini self discovery journey and can essentially be reinstated and forgiven by a cleric (Will). That would fit very very well into the imagery we got of Mike sitting down on Jonthan's bed with the upside down tapestry behind him, followed by Will sitting down beside him + Mike sitting down on the upside down couch at the cabin, followed by Will sitting down beside him. Meaning basically Mike would end up in the upside down and Will would follow behind him.

And I think in that scenario we might be seeing some things from Mike's POV that we have overlooked before, or maybe even things they have deliberately kept from us for the sake of saving it for later. Maybe that unused footage of him crying biking home after they found Will's body, or maybe they re-contextualize the cliff scene in a way that sort of frames Mike as feeling like he deserved to die that day bc after everything that happened with El, maybe he doesn't feel like he deserved to be saved by her, like Vecna just overwhelms him with the guilt that's been piling up for years, which led him to that failed monologue.

Also I think there is a very specific reason they chose to not use the song Time After Time in Max's memory of the Snow Ball in s4, and that's because they're saving it for s5. Every Breath You Take was regarded by most the fandom as a Milkvan song, and if anything it fit with all of them dancing more than it did specifically with Max's memory from that day. So them bringing that back for s4 felt like a combination of the Vecna foreshadowing and also them refusing to use Time After Time quite yet... Time After Time started playing right when Lucas asked her to dance, they easily could have used that song instead and left Every Breath You Take for s5 for a milkvan montage, hell Time After Time even would have fit well with the whole clock theme going on in s4.

But, I genuinely think it's because they're holding off on fully, in canon, re-contextualizing our understanding of that Snow Ball scene when it comes to Mike and Will's perspective of it. And how that song would fit into that revelation is a little to perfect to pass up, again on a show that has made a big deal about clocks and also has connected Will/Mike to the clock in Starcourt with the Yellow and Blue hands ie you say go slow I fall behind-- the second hand unwinds is fucking clock coded bro???

They are 100% saving that clock ass song for the end and that just tells me byler has to be endgame bc that song literally ended right before El entered the gym, it has no association to them, only to either Lucas/Max, Dustin/Nancy, or Mike/Will. That's it.

And so arguably the build up of Mike and Will is the only way to satisfyingly bring that song back full circle.

I guess I'll keep it simple and say that I think one of them are going to go missing/dissapear/be taken (something along those lines) early s5, and the other is going to find them and they're going to be a team basically. I think there could be 1-2 episodes of them alone sort of in the pits of the UD (Hell vibes). Maybe there's an almost kiss in those moments, or maybe even an official one bc them being alone finally is what grants them the courage to do what they haven't been able to do in the real world without the fears of the real world stopping them?

Though I do think that they will reunite with the others after 1-2 episodes alone. And so most of the season will be them teamed up with the og party and also having interactions with other characters along the way as well.

I do think a Murray/Byler confrontation is inevitable. I do think a Will & Robin confrontation is inevitable. I do think it's possible Mike could be exposed to the idea of having a gf then a bf (and vs) by Vickie in the case that Mike finds out bisexuality is real and an option. Bc tbh it's still something people today don't know about. So I don't think Mike Wheeler in 1986 Hawkins, Indiana would, though again maybe an interaction with Vickie could change that. Either that or Robin, Vickie and Steve are going to see Mike call Fast Times overrated and they're all going to share a look and that's when we'll know...

I do think that Will is going to have a hard time believing Mike could feel the same, even when presented with evidence? Not only does he have his insecurities in the way, but he also views El as his sister now (hell she might even actually turn out to be his twin). Even though Mike is his best friend, he's going to want it to be crystal clear that El supports it before Mike ends up being in their family via them being partners at some point. That's just who Will is as a character. He's just going to assume he is wrong for wanting that considering everything that has led up to this point.

And i think El is the kind of character that, no, she wont be like ecstatic about how this all played out and how she didn't need to get her heartbroken, but I don't think that feeling will last forever. I think they might have a little sibling talk about lying, assuming she finds out about the painting and what he said to Mike about her commissioning it. That would be a good parallel to her and Will at Rink-O-Mania when he chastised her for lying to Mike? Essentially an Oh how the turntables moment? Even so, when it's all said and done, she's going to make it clear to Will that she supports him fully.

And I think the same applies to Mike who also is going to want closure that they are okay and still friends and love each other as friends/family.

I think how all of this plays out would be very intricate, yes, but largely keeping in mind that they want us to like this ending and not be bitter about it, and so they're going to have to convince us that we want to fully let go of Mike and El and to root for Mike and Will.

This so called love triangle doesn't have equal stakes to the stancy/jancy one because we're dealing with an audience that has been completely left in the dark, now being bombarded. They have to try really hard to convince the audience to be on board with this, and also avoid homophobia in the process. They're going to have to make it very, very clear there are no more romantic feelings for Mike and El happening. Especially since we're ending the show with them in a sibling dynamic because of their relationships with Will. It would be gross to have this level of well maybe one day he could change his mind I mean he did that once before. Nope. It would be okay to have that sort of left unanswered with the stancy/jancy parallels bc we're not dealing with people being related to each other and swapping back and forth. That's why it needs to be clear in their situation.

And I do think that's why they did the whole I love you 9 times with Mike's monologue. Because it can't go up from there, there is nothing left for them to do after going all out like that, only to reveal Mike meant it deep down platonically? I mean what could they possibly do to backtrack? Have him give her another love confession where he says it 20x and adds no but fr this time?? No. They had to go all out like that to give those viewers what they wanted, the most they could possibly get and then say, sorry it's not happening. It essentially made it impossible to hope for it bc there's nothing left to hope for.

When it comes to byler and like these major moments that are bound to occur between them, I am genuinely most looking forward to them hugging again for the first time since the end of s3. That to me is going to be even more exciting than a kiss honestly (not saying I don't want a kiss but you know what I mean). And it's bc from a hug alone, I think we'll be able to tell that what's going on between them isn't platonic and that will in turn add so many layers to past seasons. I think it's also likely we'll get an almost kiss or two before the inevitable, and that would then make the slow-burn stretching until the end worth it, to me at least? Because just throwing them together never works when the formula has always been to hold off.

And that's also why the show has to end now. We can't have 6,8, 10 seasons of slow-burn, it would be exhausting. 5 seasons is the perfect amount. And having all of that angst and tension and heartache lead to a happy ending is going to make all of those moments in between that fans fought over for being critical of, sort of just dwindle to epic angst that was necessary to appreciate the happy ending.

#byler #byler ask #this was long but i hope i got the point across #basically i never allowed myself to believe byler until i was fully confident in it #it was never about shipping two characters simply bc it was a queer ship and i always get queer-baited or something #(nothing is wrong with getting queer-baited a lot either bc the problem is showrunners fucking with fans not the fans themselves)#it wasn't about holding onto said queer ship bc i can't let shit go #I never allowed myself to believe it until it was undeniable to me #byler not ending up together wouldn't make me heartbroken or lose sleep #i would just genuinely be confused bc the show would have prioritized building up byler for years all for nothing...#like it would just be the most anticlimatic ending #not only would the gays be pissed #but so would the ga that doesn't even like milkvan anymore and is just dying for something better to come along #but it is happening...#so i'm sat #i'm excited to see how it plays out #i'm excited to be surprised bc the st writers ALWAYS pleasantly surprise me #s4 is a great example of that #most pleasant surprise i have ever experienced #so i am looking forward for them to keep that streak going

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akuvvv9 · 11 months

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after rewatching the first episode of the first season of Stranger Things, i am now a Will Byers has powers truther. why does Joyce get those phone calls from Will? it’s something unique to season one that hints to Will still being alive. it’s also not like Vecna would be calling Joyce up to rub in her face he stole her son. if not him, then Will? but how??

if Will has powers related to electricity, or has that in his arsenal, then it’d make sense why he can make those lights flicker and why the phone short circuits and literally gets unnaturally burnt. Will’s intense feelings trigger these powers. when Joyce picks up the first call from Will, we hear the sound of a demogorgon and then the phone cuts off. he was so scared that he fried the phone.

also, the UD being stuck on the day Will went missing? Vecna’s version of the UD is nothing like the perfect copy of Hawkins theorized Will to have made. if Will did indeed create Hawkins when he first entered the UD, and he does have powers relating to electricty, the fruity four are able to contact Dustin, Lucas, and Erica because he somehow left traces of his powers.

there are no magic tinkerbell fairy particles when Vecna is setting off lights in the Creel house, his prescence alone does that. when Joyce and Hopper are in the UD at the end of season one, we see the same example of this.

if we apply this to Will, it would make sense except he was like under 5 feet tall in season one and unless he was being sent flying all around the room, the lights couldn’t flicker the way they did. no, they’re set off by Will’s powerful feelings alone.

there’s also the possibilities of him being able to create gates like El has. there’s the scene where El channels Will through the radio Mr. Clarke got for the kids at the school, and Joyce is speaking to Will through the wall. what explanation is there for this? we’ve seen some sort of figure coming through the wallpaper multiple times.

whether it’s Will sometimes or the demogorgon others, we don’t know. but Will spent his time in the UD hiding in his house, which could be why the demogorgon finds a way through the same wall Will was seen talking to his mom in. he was only at Castle Byers later when El is in her sensory deprivation tank and he finally gets taken by the demogorgon. and how is he able to see her through the void?

there are so many unanswered questions about these events that never get mentioned again and never happen again in the rest of the series. you know why? because Will never goes to the UD again, and he never talks about it. probably because it was traumatizing, but there’s definitely something weird about Will being in the UD. if, in season 5, we do get Will in the UD again, and it’s confirmed he has powers, him being in the UD would be the trigger for this.

#will byers #will byers has powers #but also #give will byers a gun #stranger things

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geekgemsspooksandtoons · 1 year

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Long live the king, Godzilla

For years, I like to say it like, “Long live the fucking king” to sound cooler ever since they were using that line. But well, it’s been years since I rewatched Godzilla King of the Monsters. The 2019 film that’s a sequel to Godzilla 2014...I have some things to say which may surprise some of you.

This may sound crazy or just...I was hoping to just gush about this film. Because the many times I would talk about this film and calling it one of the greatest cinematic experiences in my life. A film I have seen four times in the theaters. And saying things like I think this film spoiled me when I felt Godzilla vs Kong felt tame and “Less epic” which says a lot...

But rewatching the film just now...I think experiencing it in a theater, and maybe the hype really got me. Again, I feel like experiencing this in a theater is the best thing ever. But now, years later...I can understand much more why people don’t like the Monsterverse itself.

I will spoil some stuff, not a whole lot. Because I know a friend of mine reads my reviews. Mainly that Bioshock one from long ago. I’m going to start off with the negative before I go into the positives. I feel like that’s better to do because I want to explain what issues I had with this film. I’m going to add a keep reading option as well.

But and I didn’t add this last night because I forgot. I went to bed, and I can’t add another keep reading option. I like Filmento and he brings up a lot of good points that I agree with.

youtube

Anyway, here’s my detailed review.

The negatives.

This film, like I have seen others said before...THIS FILM NEEDED TO BE THREE HOURS. Which may sound insane. But this film’s pacing is very bothersome. And this goes in hand with another thing that bothered me.

You know all of the complains about Godzilla 2014 of how it kept cutting away from the monster fights at times. Which it started to annoy people. I totally get that; I get the criticisms towards that. But I also understood Gareth Edwards wanted to retrain himself from showing too much of the monsters. https://twitter.com/CallMeJaiden54/status/1637358513449209857 Granted, I get why people were annoyed. Maybe a balance would’ve been better.

But KOTM’s pacing...really doesn’t help with a bunch of things. Because like others have said before. This is basically like the Godzilla Final Wars for the American Godzilla movies. And Final Wars is a kickass movie I may add. Now I want to say this funny part.

If they wanted to make it even more of a Final Wars comparison. We should’ve gotten Mark fighting Jonah in a physical fight, while Mark is beating down Jonah, you see Godzilla beating down on Ghidorah on a still working tv. You could’ve had that, and I strangely would’ve loved it. But back to the point.

The fact that this film’s pacing goes very quick, despite it’s alright...there are moments of character building. But I feel this doesn’t help the monsters and some character development. Even though I think me gushing over Godzilla 2014 was also the result of seeing a movie before that made me question what is happening to cinema. And Godzilla 2014 reminded me cinema was real again.

But the buildup to the MUTO’s and Godzilla is excellent. You get the feeling of horror, wonder and other feelings. While I do think it makes sense you don’t have to wait for long to reintroduce Godzilla because we already know him. It’s weird to talk about.

2014′s slow pacing really helps easing a viewer into the story. Even if it’s “Boring” and while the reveal of Ghidorah, Mothra and Rodan are fantastic. Especially with their scores, I feel they’ve could’ve done better. Because in a way...it doesn’t feel special. In fact, while Brad Peyton’s Rampage is flawed. Even that took some time to build up certain aspects and it didn’t have to deal with multiple characters.

There’s a crap ton of new characters in here and some kind of stick around even when they don’t need to be there. And that’s a critique I agree with the Monsterverse. We need a consistent cast. While I get a post and others saying the monsters are the stars. But that’s not an excuse...because when you don’t have a consistent cast or have a couple of characters not come back. You have to introduce a bunch of new characters and if they aren’t handled right, it’s weird.

And again, that pacing. It doesn’t help character development, and it doesn’t help with the impact of certain things when you go at such a fast pace. It legit hurt the film for me. Because there’s a lot of things I like here. It may sound crazy I want a 3-hour cut of this movie, but I want that. This is a film that deserves that. And it would’ve helped me appreciate some of the big and emotional moments too.

Now, I want to talk about the positives. Granted, you’ll still hear me talk about some criticisms. But I want to get to this part.

As someone who’s loved Godzilla since I was a kid. It was mainly the Showa and Millennium eras that got me into becoming a fan. And this was my biggest positive when this film first came out. This may sound strange, but seeing the way Ghidorah, Mothra and Rodan were handled in this film. To me, it felt like if you were watching a Spider-Man and Batman film for the first time. And you see that iconic comic book character treated with dignity and respect. That was the feeling I had when I saw these monsters for the first time.

While you still had the sci-fi aspect in them. The direction is more “Mythological” in a way, more so a feeling when handling these characters. “Spirtuality” is the word I’m looking for. While I can understand why people, or one person may think these three were “Nerfed” but I’m sorry. NO, THEY WERE NOT NERFED. And I can’t agree with hearing that their roars are “Generic” like what the fuck?

Godzilla is portrayed wonderfully again with respect. He’s great as well. But the new monsters, the Toho ones are fucking beautiful. This film’s portrayal of Ghidorah is legitimately my favorite of his interpretations. While Rodan could’ve had more with him, he is dealt with properly.

But I feel like the big glow up is literally Mothra herself. A character while not my favorite, I always preferred the more “Aggressive” and “Masculine” monsters you can say. But Mothra is important and the fact they were able to handle her so well in this film. While I feel like Ghidorah and Rodan were easier characters to get right. They knocked it out of the park with Mothra. They all ooze personality and their themes are legit perfect for each of them.

I want to talk about the human characters. This is actually my favorite group of human characters in the Monsterverse. And I was saddened only two of them came back for Godzilla vs Kong. Granted, I think I wanted Godzilla vs Kong to be Godzilla 3 but with King Kong. It still technically is a Godzilla 3, but with Kong more as the lead monster.

While the pacing hurts the film. The cast of Monarch here is genuinely likable. And I wished for some they were expanded upon more. With some acting more like supporting roles, and I shouldn’t use the word “NPCs” to describe them. That is a term I have wanted to use for some time. My favorites of the new characters were Rick (Who is legit funny when he is) and Chen. Also, kind of wished Barnes was showed more or just...there’s a lot of new characters here that you may lose track of them if you don’t have subtitles on or haven’t seen the film multiple times like I have before. But seriously, I liked Chen and that’s because of well...lore reasons that I wished she had more to do.

I also want to say this. I think Mark Russell, played by Kyle Chandler is maybe the human protagonist we’ve had in an American Godzilla film. Even though I think Ford was fine, he’s more of a “Passive” character. When Mark is a more active protagonist. While a flawed character devastated by the loss of his son. He is at his core a good man who still loves his daughter and ex-wife. Especially when you have moments like him going into the Artic base by himself the moment he sees Emma and Madison on footage and risking his life to find them. Along with a strong moment that still stuck with me is him going back to save a group of Monarch soldiers being left behind, despite he could have the chance to follow his family. There are other little moments like he still talks to Madison in emails. His arc is pretty fine.

Madison played by Millie Bobby Brown is fine. But her biggest moment is her stealing the Orca and using it to save billions of lives during the whole Titans attacking across the world. I don’t think there’s much of an arc for her. But it’s more of well, her making her own choices and well...this leads into the next part.

Emma is...an interesting character. She’s fine as an antagonist who then changes because she realizes what she’s done. I feel like it could’ve been done better. But knowing there is a deleted scene where...I’ll link them. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQmVLpKgmGI Fuck, these deleted scenes are good.

It’s funny to me seeing the fandom having Godzilla and Mothra be Madison’s “Parents” but again, while Mark is flawed. That dude at mostly has his priorities straight.

We also have Charles Dance as Alan Jonah who I want to see again. He’s threatening when he is and commands a presence. He’s good with what he’s given.

I now want to talk about Serizawa, particularly his scene. I do agree that his character in the 2014 film, he’s a bit underdeveloped. But in all seriousness, his sacrifice to basically save Godzilla is still powerful. It’s legitimately one of the best scenes in the film. Ken Watanabe is always good with his performances. But what I hate about this is the fact while we should’ve gotten more development with him. It’s the fact we can’t use him again. And having watched this video yesterday. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1ciSG9Z8o4

I’ll admit, I have wanted to make a reblog talking about how the 2014 movie could still have the similar story but making Ford less passive or something and make him as compelling as his father or something. And annoyed by people possibly wanting “Godzilla vs Heisenberg” despite how much of a good actor Bryan Cranston is. But that video...I genuinely wished that was the approach they take with Joe Brody instead. We’d still have Serizawa around, especially in Godzilla vs Kong. And having Joe sacrificing himself instead would’ve been just as powerful for not only reasons this video talks about. But also, other things I have wondered about.

There are other characters to talk about. But nothing really noteworthy in ways. Despite the sad fact you have Graham being killed all of a sudden by Ghidorah in one scene. And the colonel from the last film being killed in a deleted scene. There’s a trend with the characters from the 2014 film being killed off in this film.

#GeekGem Rambles #godzilla #monsterverse #godzilla king of the monsters

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itsallyscorner · 4 years

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Baby’s First Heartbreak

pairing: marvel cast x teen!fem!reader, Scarlett Johansson x reader, Elizabeth Olsen x reader

prompt: the youngest member of the marvel cast experiences her first breakup.

warnings: not much—crying, a break up.

A/n: Tom is 19 here because this is set during Civil War. He was such a baby omg🥺

You were always a firm believer in having hope. No matter what the situation was, you knew that you had to at least try before fully giving up. You were only 18, but it was the mindset you grew up with. You were taught to face things with bravery and confidence, you faced things head to head with all your might. Though some things never went the way you planned, you were still the ray of sunshine you were, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, eager to learn and explore the world.

You had the same mindset going into your first relationship. Love was something you’ve always wanted to experience. Sure, you received it from your friends and family. But you wanted the different kind of love. The special one that was shared between two people. The one that made your heart skip a beat and made you breathless. Where staring into that special someone’s eyes felt like you were being transported into another world where it was just the two of you.

You’ve found that kind of love in a boy from your hometown. The two of you had been friends since pre-k, growing up along side each other, and being there for each other’s success and failures. You’ve known him all your life but the feelings didn’t come till sophomore year of high school. It all just clicked all of sudden; that one day where he said you looked cute in his jumper and the next moment you knew you were seeing him in a new light. Junior year, you were both beating around the bush; constantly pining over each other with longing stares and fingers always brushing against each other. Though you didn’t see him all the time due to your job as an actress. You spent half of the school year in your hometown and the rest at Atlanta. Of course he knew of your job and as much as he hated to see you go, he knew you were doing something that made you happy. So he spent as much time as he could with you before your time together came to an end. A few days prior to your flight to Atlanta, under the night sky of your backyard, he admitted his feelings for you. By senior year, the two of you had been dating for half a year. It had been the best moments of your life, you were in love and high on happiness, it was like nothing in life could ever go wrong.

Now here you were, in your trailer on the set of Captain America: Civil War, sobbing you eyes out. You knew loving could hurt, but not this much. You still felt your heart skip a beat, but it was clenching in heartache. You were still breathless, but because you’ve been trying to catch your breath after every sob that wracked your body. You felt broken. The boy you loved had ripped your heart out of your chest and threw it onto the floor, stomping on it till it stopped beating.

You hiccuped as you stared at yourself in the mirror. You were nothing but a fool. A fool who had hope in something that was never going to work. You sniffled as you snatched tissues out of the box on your bathroom sink, dabbing the material onto your eyes and blowing your nose. Your eyes were red and your cheeks were puffy. A sigh of frustration releases from your body. There was no way you could walk onto set without people asking you what was wrong.

You debated asking your assistant to ask your designated makeup artist to do your makeup in your trailer, you didn’t want to be a bother. But your thumbs were already shamefully typing away the request on your phone. A few minutes later Eleanor, your makeup artist on set, arrives at your trailer with her supplies in hand.

She doesn’t directly question you, but she has the look of a concerned mother once she sees your face. You lie to her and tell her you weren’t having a good day and chalked it up to being homesick.

You dreaded going on set. You weren’t sure if you could face anyone without bursting into tears. The moment you felt like you were okay, your heart would clench, reminding you of the ache it was feeling.

You were in your costume, sitting on the sidelines of the set while you rehearsed your lines. The dialogue from the script acted as a distraction from the current pain you were feeling. The tears had stopped but your eyes felt dry, making you blink multiple times to keep them wet.

“Hey, sweetheart.” You look up and meet the stunning blue eyes of Chris Evans. That typical goofy smile of his was etched onto his features. Usually you would reciprocate that smile, but today you just couldn’t find it in your heart to do so. His smile falters when he sees your face.

“Morning.” You greet him, forcing a smile. Concern shadows on his face as he shifts a bit closer to you. “You alright?” He asks, eyes softening at you. Being the youngest of all the Avengers cast members, everyone had a soft side for you. Especially Chris, who saw you as a daughter.

“Y-yeah, I’ve just got—allergies.” You lied, another fake smile forcing itself onto your lips.

“Well have you taken something to help your allergies? Do you need Allegra? Claritin or something?” He looked around ready to call one of the runners on set to get you some meds.

“No! I took some already, a few minutes ago! It probably hasn’t kicked in yet.” You tell him. He eyes you reluctantly, not knowing if he should believe you. He decides to let it pass and nods, “Ok, tell me if you need anything though.”

You hum in response and tilt your head down back to your script.

The day goes on and everyone had caught on to your lack of—being you. The infamous smile everyone knew you by was barely on your face. You didn’t crack jokes with Anthony or share a giggle with Elizabeth. Instead you were quiet, a frown was on your face as you stared blankly at the floor. You didn’t interact with anybody, keeping to yourself and walking off set whenever one of the Russos called cut.

Anthony and Sebastian watched as you walked off the set. You have all finished a sequence of the airport scene and the Russos had given everyone a break while they rewatched the scenes they shot. Anthony’s brows furrowed while he watched your figure go further and further away. He had tried to cheer you up, telling you a joke about how Seb’s arm lube kept leaking out his fake arm. Your response was nothing but a fake laugh—it wasn’t even a fake laugh, more like a huff of laughter.

“She didn’t laugh at my joke.” Anthony thought aloud. Sebastian quirked an eye at his friend, “Does she have to laugh at all your jokes?”

“No, but even if I tell her a corny ass joke, she’ll still laugh at it.” He expressed, throwing his arms up. Sebastian’s lip pouted as he thought back to your behavior on set. You were acting unusual. He turns to Tom (Holland) and asks, “Hey, has (y/n) said anything to you? Like anything bothering her?”

The Brit shakes his head, “Um, nope. Besides filming, I haven’t spoken to her today.”

Anthony crosses his arms, approaching Tom, “Have you tried speaking to her? We’ve been trying to figure out what’s been going on with her today and you’re the closest to her age here.”

“I—I tried to talk to her, but she didn’t seem in a talking mood. I thought I was bothering her so I just stopped.” Tom answered. He gestures to the direction of the trailers, “I could check up on her right now? Maybe I’ll get her one of her favorite snacks from crafties, it might cheer her up.”

Half of a smile makes it way onto Sebastian’s face at the boy’s efforts. Though you were clearly upset and he felt like they were all prodding at your privacy. “Maybe we should give her some time alone.”

Tom frowns at the older man, “But (y/n)’s upset. Shouldn’t we do something?” Anthony agrees with Tom and looks at Sebastian.

Seb raises his hands up in defense, “I’m just saying—maybe she wants to be alone. She went back to her trailer away from everybody. She probably doesn’t want us shoving our noses into her business, we should respect that.”

Chris joins the group along with Scarlett and Elizabeth. He had overhead the group talking and urged the two ladies to join him in on the conversation.

“You guys talking about (y/n)?” Chris asks, hands on his waist.

“Yeah, Seb says we should leave her be.” Anthony fills him in.

“She told me she had allergies.” Chris starts. “She’s an amazing actress, but kid’s gotta work on the lying.” He finishes. Elizabeth and Scarlett glance at each other.

“Well has anyone talked to her at all today? Besides Chris?” Elizabeth asked the group. Everyone shakes their head. Elizabeth sighs while looking around at anyone else who could’ve talked to you. She spots Eleanor hanging along the sides with her makeup belt on, ready for touch ups. Elizabeth calls her over. Eleanor has her brush ready to powder her down, but Elizabeth politely declines.

“You do (y/n)‘s makeup right?”

Eleanor nods, “Yeah, I do.”

“How was she this morning? We’re just a bit concerned since she’s been acting different today.” Eleanor sighs, knowing if she told them it would be an invasion of your privacy. Although, they were all concerned for you and so was she.

“I got a text from her assistant telling me to do her makeup in her trailer today.” She began. “I walked in and her eyes were red, cheeks puffy—“

Chris apologizes and interrupts her, “Because of allergies?”

Eleanor shakes her head, “No, she never mentioned anything about allergies. But she looked like she’s been crying. She was wiping her face when I arrived.”

“Did she give you a reason for why she was crying?” Scarlett questions her.

“She told me she was feeling homesick.” Eleanor answered. Scarlett turned to Chris and shared a look. Elizabeth thanks Eleanor then turns back to the group.

“We need to check up on her.” Anthony says. All the men nodded and began to make their way to your trailer. Suddenly, they were stopped by Scarlett and Elizabeth.

“But (y/n)—“ Tom said pointing to the trailers. Scarlett shakes her head, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Lizzie and I will go. You guys are gonna overwhelm her with all your questions.” Scarlett insists, much to the men’s dismay. They wanted to be there for you, but maybe a mother figure might help you open up with what’s bothering you. They agree and let the two women go to your trailer. Before they can get to you, they get some snacks from crafties for you.

As soon as you shut the trailer’s door behind you, the tears welled up in your eyes again. It only took a matter of seconds until they fell from your eyes and down your cheeks. You heard some people walk by outside and cover your mouth to muffle the whimpers that came out your mouth. You slid down the door and shoved your head into your hands. You leaned forward against your knees as you cried into your arms. You felt pathetic, embarrassed, anger; you were feeling so many things and the only way to let them all out seemed to be crying.

They heard your cries from behind the door. Scarlett sends Elizabeth an alarmed look as she rushes up to your door. She knocked on it repeatedly, causing you to jump from behind the door. Your cries come to a stop while you try to wipe away the tears as best as you can.

“(Y/n), honey, please open the door.” You hear Scarlett say. You remain silent, getting up and dusting your legs off. You stare at the door, debating whether you should open it or not.

“(Y/n), everyone’s worried about you. We just want to help.” Another voice coaxes you behind the door. Elizabeth. “Please let us in.”

Outside, the two women had their ears pressed up against your trailer’s door. Scarlett tries to get you to open the door again, “It’s only me and Lizzie. I promise.”

There was some shuffling heard behind the door. The door pushes open slowly, making Scarlett and Elizabeth back away. A worried expression appears on Scarlett’s face once she sees you. She cups your cheeks, her thumbs gently swiping away some tears that fell from your eyes. The two of them shuffle inside your trailer. You burst out into tears once again when Scarlett wraps her arms around you. She moves you both to sit on the couch that was in your trailer. She lets you shove your head into the crook of her neck while her hands smoothed your hair. Elizabeth sits behind you rubbing circles onto your back. Your cries broke both their hearts. You were a fairly happy girl, to see you in such pain and heartache was hard to watch.

Scarlett rocks you back and forth, trying to calm you down by whispering comforting words into your ear. She presses a motherly kiss onto your forehead once she sees you start to calm down. Elizabeth waits patiently beside you waiting for when you’re ready to talk. When your whimpers turned into hiccups, Scarlett pulls your face away from her neck to look at you. She frowns when she sees your tear stained cheeks.

“Are you going to tell us what’s going on or are you going to keep bottling it up to yourself?” She asks you softly, tucking strands of your hair behind your ears. Elizabeth chimes in from behind you, “You know, sometimes it helps to tell others what’s bothering you. You don’t have to keep it to yourself, (y/n), you could talk to us.” She gathers your hair together, splitting it into two parts as she began to fish tail braid your hair.

You take a moment to compose yourself before eyeying the two women. You knew you could trust them. Scarlett was like your on-set mom and Lizzie was like one of your aunts. If you could tell anyone on set what was going on, it would be them.

“He broke up with me.” You confess, eyes trained on your lap. Lizzie’s fingers stop braiding your hair, “What?”

“Peyton, he broke up with me.” You whined, not wanting to say it again. You fiddle with your fingers while a tear falls to your lap.

“Oh honey.” Scarlett cooes pulling you back into her chest. You sniffle and wrap your arms around her torso. Silently crying into her shoulder.

“Did he give you a reason why?” Lizzie asks softly. You move away from Scarlett’s hold and lean against the couch with your knees to your chest. Lizzie wraps an arm around your shoulder for comfort.

You glanced at your phone that was on the coffee table, “H-he texted me earlier this morning. He said he couldn’t do the long distance thing anymore and that he has feelings for somebody else.”

Anger flashes in Scarlett’s eyes, “He broke up with you over a text message?” You nod in response.

“What a dick.” She mutters glaring at your phone. It’s quiet for a few minutes. Until you ask them, “Am I not worth trying for a long distance relationship?”

Lizzie shakes her head, “No, don’t you ever think that because you are.”

You sigh and throw your head back, “Then why did he break up with me? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not pretty enough?” Scarlett interrupts your questions by shushing you.

“There is not a damn thing wrong about you. Don’t you ever let a man, let alone a boy, make you question your worth.” Scarlett advises you a stern look on her face. “You are the most sweetest and loveliest girl I have ever met in my life. You’re kind, you care about the people around you—you even laugh at Anthony’s stupid jokes.”

Lizzie snorts beside you and squeezes your shoulder, “And his jokes are the worst.”

Scarlett continues, “You are a talented young woman already making it big in the movie industry and you did it all on your own. You are beautiful inside and out. You’re perfect, there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Then why did he leave me?”

“Because he’s an idiot that doesn’t know your worth.” Lizzie answers resting her head on your shoulder. “I know it hurts now but these things happen for a reason. He wasn’t meant for you and you weren’t meant for him. Maybe somewhere in the future you guys will meet and try again. Or maybe you’ll move on with someone new. That’s just how it is. It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth.”

Scarlett nods at Lizzie, “Take it from me, I’ve been married twice. When it seems like you found that special person, sometimes it’ll all come crashing down. And it’s not an easy thing to go through. It’s full of pain, heartache, self doubt and a bunch of other heart wrenching things. But in the end you come out a stronger version of yourself.”

You stare at Scarlett, “How did you do it?”

Scarlett softly smiles at you, “Well, I had lots of friends who supported me every step of the way. But most importantly, I valued myself. I did things that made me happy and took care of myself mentally and physically.”

You bite your lip in thought as you stare at the ground.

“Listen to me.” Scarlett urges you, “You’re young, (y/n). You’re going to meet so many more people in the future that’ll bring you so much happiness and love in your life. Don’t beat yourself up over one boy who decided to leave you because he wasn’t committed for a long distance relationship. You’re going to be okay.” She assures you, cradling your face. Your lips form into a tight smile while you nod in response.

“You have us and the rest of the people outside of this trailer to support you. We’ll always have your back, whatever it is, I promise you that. You’re not going to go through this by yourself.” Lizzie promises you, taking your hand into hers. You hum and rest your head on her shoulder. You pull on Scarlett’s arm to join you and Lizzie. She chuckles and hugs you from behind.

“Thank you guys.” You whisper, genuinely grateful that you had them in your life. Lizzie pecks your temple, “Anytime darling.”

#marvel #marvel cast x reader #marvel cast x teen!reader #mcu #avengers #chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagines #Scarlett Johansson #Scarlett Johansson x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #avengers x reader #avengers x teen!reader #Tom Holland #Sebastian Stan #anthony mackie #tom holland x reader #sebastian stan x reader #anthony mackie x reader

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heartsgallery · 2 years

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what if the flashback is of 2x12 Ricky finding gina crying maybe that made him step back and realize that she really cares about EJ I always felt that episode like incomplete without a rina scene I mean everyone on the core four had one

okay so… i actually developed a full theory on this a few days ago that i haven’t shared because in case it didn’t happen i didn’t want to look like a loser but i completely 100% agree with you. that’s my main theory for a flashback so now that you’ve asked and i’m not the only one to believe that, let me share why i think it’s true. please if this doesn’t happen don’t kill me. read at your own risk😭

so… as you said, 212 felt INCOMPLETE (aside that it sucked ass). my first illumination about this theory was this: nini and ricky directly parallel s1 opening night in the dressing room. i remember i almost jumped out of my seat because i thought at the end, gina was gonna walk through that door just like in the flashback. she didn’t and i found it odd since that whole episode felt like a call back to s1 moments (like second chances). i also remember thinking that while watching because the scene before that, ej cancels on gina in the hallway and she walks away to go “find her things” (they told me you were getting something you needed kind of beat) and where else would she look for them if not the dressing room.

so i went to rewatch parts to see of the scene to… analyze the possibility of something being cut in the middle. after nini and ricky talk, and nini walks out the room (exactly like s1), ricky starts to turn around and the scene is cut. we don’t see ricky leaving the room, or even attempting to do it for that matter. next time we see gina after that, she is crying… IN THE DRESSING ROOM. so she did went to the dressing room. and the next time we see ricky, he’s in miss jenn’s office, so gina and ricky could’ve easily bumped into each other in the way. my main theory being gina DID walk through the door after the rini scene. that happening and them saving it for another flashback would be the craziest parallel ever ljke it would be INSANE.

another two things that also make me believe this is true is 1. ricky FULL ON looking to the hallway once miss jenn asks him if he’s happy and he says “i think i’m happy… or getting there”. like something just happened there. this might be the biggest reach but why did he look like that 😭 and 2. the actor who plays mazzara, before the finale, teased rinas on twitter asking us what did we think it was going to happen in the finale and also said they shoot multiple ending so he didn’t know what they were gonna go for. so why did he specifically ask the rinas if there was NOTHING filmed for them🤔

now don’t ask me what went down if they actually did talk in that night and how is it connected to ricky realizing his feelings (i can perfectly see what you said about him deciding to step back, and also him calling lily after would make more sense). but this is my biggest theory on the ep 5 and i will stand by it even if i look like a loser after it doesn’t happen 😭

i’m open to hear thoughts about this theory or your own about what the big ep 5 revelation is

#ricky x gina #rina

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midday0nightmares · 3 years

Photo

27 - pry on the weak (m).

Previous chapter in your arms (m).

m.list.

warnings: this series contains themes of yandere\mafia, blood, violence, mental health, drugs, non-con.

author note: this is pure fiction and it is not intended to romanticize any of the situations mentioned bellow.

The door was shut, it won’t open, it was cemented on every side expat for the small slit under it, you try knocking, shout for someone, anyone, but to no avail.

you try the window, it opens, but the sight is even scarier. The city is quiet, too quiet. No traffic in its usually busy streets, every window in the near buildings were closed, no birds in the sky, not a single sign of life, even the sun seems stuck in its place, time isn’t moving.

Outside the closed door, you can hear muffled sounds, you peak under the door and see the familiar white socks on a pair of feet moving around the room, it’s jaemin. you shout and scream for him, but he doesn’t even flinch, he just keeps going through his day.

You were forgotten, lost forever in his room.

You jolt out of the claustrophobic nightmare, everything around you looks sound and in its right place, including jaemin, who’s sleeping next you, it was a nightmare.. you didn’t think that a nightmare would have the audacity to visit you while you were sleeping in his arms.

You snuggle closer to him, too close, not minding if he wakes up right now, it would be ideal if he can listen to you telling him about the rude nightmare and sho It away..

He buckles under your pleads,

“fine.. you can come too”

The high pitched squeal you let out almost made him change his mind.

You wore a simple, body fitting black dress, a safe choice, you walked to the living room where jaemin was waiting for you, he was wearing a black suit, the black trousers making his long legs look extra inviting.

Jeno whistle from behind you when you spun to show jaemin your outfit, you roll your eyes at his ungentlemanly behavior,

But the way jaemin’s eyes were shinning, and the compliment “you look beautiful” made your heart flutter, but the butterflies were shot dead when jeno’s hand landed on your ass in a sharp slap.

You link arms with jaemin and make the short trip to the door across the hallway to chenle apartment, the door was open, you were welcomed by upbeat classical music, not what you’ve expected.

Inside, the apartment looked like an entire house by itself, it was three times bigger than your apartment, the atmosphere was intimidating, everyone looked expensive and beautiful, there was three type of guests, men, gorgeous women, and you.

Bite sized appetizers and trays of champion were being served along side an open bar at the corner, chandeliers were hanging off the ceiling and the big glass door opens to the terrace.

Your heart sunk and your stomach turned over inside of you. You cling to jaemin’s arm when you spot that face, haechan’s face.he approaches you and they all greeted each other, you keep looking else where, doing your best to ignore him.

“Hey man! Long time no see.. what are you doing here? You know chenle?” Yes good question jaemin, what is he doing here?

“Yeah yeah..” He leans closer and lowers his voice “he’s one of my top clients” he gestures to the tens of girls around.. and it clicks in your head that they were all escorts, brought by haechan, they were his girls. you didn’t even try to hide the look of disgust that was showing on your face.

“Hey handsome” a tall, brunette, doll like girl throws her arms around jeno, “haven’t seen you in a while” she seamlessly pout. He giggles and turns into a harmless puppy in her hands, she must be one of haechan girls too, of course he will pay for company, who would want to spend time with him.

Your attention turns back to the hushed conversation between haechan and jaemin,

“… no, his father is the of a one the leaders of the Chinese communist party, powerful man. and he’s the sole hire of multiple companies” haechan says.

“What is he doing here?” Jaemin asks.

“don’t know.. but based on what I have heard, he’s not staying for long..” haechan cuts himself as soon as he notice your interest in their conversation, “And how have you been doing sweet thing?”

oh the rage that went through you, you wished you could claw his eyes out, your distain is loud on your features. jaemin’s hand reach and hold yours, giving you a gentle squeeze, silently apologizing for breaking his promise of not having to see haechan again.

And of course Hacehan is anything but dumb, he reads your mood and turns back to jaemin “come, I want you to meet someone” .. “haa you never stop working, don’t you?” Jaemin let go of your hand and slips deeper into the crowd, leaving you standing awkwardly next to jeno and his baby.

You stomp with no destination in mind. you look around, amazed by everything, but you feel misplaced, the looks that were thrown your way, you didn’t belong here and everyone knew it, there was an underlining screech the luxuries mood.

You catch the back of jaemin’s head through the crowd, an unsuspected punch of something was delivered to your heart, throwing your mood completely off. he’s with a group of giggly girls, practically drooling over them.

you regret insisting on coming with him.. you should have known, but it’s too late now, you look else where and meet the sister eyes of haechan staring at you. he winks at you, you throw him the dirtiest look you have and move out of his sight line.

You pick a glass of champagne and lean against the wall, tipping the tall glass and drinking it in one go, and another.. starting to feel better. Chenle’s bright hair stands between the crowds, he gracefully moves around greeting everyone, you didn’t notice before but he’s quit charming.. he catches you staring at him and smile at you, rising his glass towards you, you fumble almost dropping your half empty glass.. when you mange to get a grip on yourself and rise your glass he had already return to his conversation.

“Hello, mind if I join you?” The stranger man stands next to you even before you could’ve answered him, “what’s your name?” He looks like he was operating on twice the normal human energy, fidgeting and unable to stay still for more than three seconds, his smile twitches, the look in his eyes is frantic.. his pupils are blown, he’s on something.

He speaks again before you can answer “hi Im yangyang, what’s your name?” why does his friends have wired names?

You watch him like he was a train wreck happing in slow motion, “here try this” he hands you one of the two glass he was holding in his hands, a pink cocktail with raspberry, you smile politely and take the drink, he stares at you with his frozen smile.. but something behind you catches his attention, he kinda looks like a cat, just like that he leaves as fast as he came, he’s kinds cute.

You move to the open terrace for some fresh air, the breeze flowing through your hair, you zone out as you watch the city lights.. a hand graze the small of your back brings you back, you jump in surprise. “sorry didn’t mean to scare you” chenle apologize, placing a tall glass of champion in front of you, his round cheeks flushed, he looks breathtaking in this proximity, or maybe it’s just the alcohol in your system..

“To be honest sera, Im a little offended” he confess, your eyes grow double the size “offended.. why?”,

he gives you sad puppy eyes and looks around “you don’t seems to enjoy my party”..

“oh no, I do. Your house is very beautiful and everything looks amazing” you try to convince him but he’s not buying it, you just give up and sigh, “im just tired” looking down to the busy streets..

He hums “tired or jealous?” Pointing at jeno who was too busy sucking that girl’s face, you roll your eyes and chenle laughs.

“im not” you bring the glass to your lips, drinking more, a pathetic attempt to suppress whatever have been twisting your insides.

Someone calls for him cutting your interaction short, “Alright.. well if you need anything come find me” he says before leaving you. You stay at your spot, distracting yourself with silly thoughts while the party behind you was growing wilder.

Your stomach growls, you feel sick and about to throw up.. heat rising through you, you sweat and feel lightheaded, you must have had too much to drink you are not used to it.

You stumble inside and through the crowded room, looking for the closest bathroom before it’s too late, haechan grabs your arm “sera.. are you ok?” His voice is far away although he’s standing next to you, you yanking your arm out of his hold “don’t touch me..”,

The room starts spinning, you hold the wall for support, after that it all went dark.

When you came back and opened your eyes, you were laid in a bed, the strong cologne filling your noise, upsetting your empty stomach. For a minute you don’t remember where you are or what had happened, the unfamiliar bedroom doesn’t ring any bills, your head is pounding, threatening to explode you move too much, you try to get up but a sharp pain shots through you, your hips feels like they were dislocated, your thighs bruised and had blood on them, your pulled up dress and torn underwear, it all indicates to one thing.

You mange to hold yourself through the initial shock, not breaking down. With a plan to find jaemin you fix your dress to cover your exposed breast, you force yourself up, picking up your discarded heal off of the floor. You limb your way out of the room, the party has quite down, it has turned to something else..

everyone looked like a living zombie, you look for jaemin, you open every door on your way, you open a door to a bedroom, and you see group of men gathered over a passed out girl, watching them felt like an outside body experience, like you were rewatching yourself. They were unfazed by your presences as they continue their assult..

you close the door to the hellish scene, you keep looking for him but he’s nowhere to be found.

You reach the main area, being met by jeno and haechan snorting whit powder of the coffee table, surrounded by loopy girls.. jeno tries to grab you, to pull you down with them but you escape his claw like hand.

You can’t take this anymore, you were starting to crumble. you did’t feel safe anymore. you head to the door and walk out, you seek the comfort of a familiar surroundings, their apartment, a hot shower, clean clothes, your bed.. but you don’t have a key and you don’t know the passcode, you try random combinations but nothing works, the door stays closed, duff to your cries.

You break down, tears streaming your face, you give up on the door and slid to the ground, leaning against the wall you sit alone in the hallway waiting for jaemin’s return.

#nct dream #nct yandere #nct smut #nct mafia #nct imagines #nct reactions #nct scenarios #nct blurbs #nct jeno #nct jaemin #nct angst #nct agnst

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forthegothicheroine · 3 years

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The King in Yellow, 1949

Much of this story is true. Warnings in the tags.

When I had pneumonia in my early teens, my mother brought home an armful of VHS tapes from the library to alleviate my misery. Knowing my snobbish preferences, she had grabbed copies of whatever she found in black and white. I remember something musical that I suspect was Busby Berkeley, I remember Mildred Pierce (a bad choice, as it turned out- the plot includes a young girl dying of pneumonia), and I remember a period piece called The King. I faded in and out of consciousness while I watched it, but it soothed me while I was awake and filled my fever dreams with sparkling images. I could never find it at the library again, nor at Hollywood Video or even early Netflix (once my father got the subscription service where you could order practically every DVD.) It was a bit odd that it seemed to be so obscure, given that it starred old Hollywood legend Ingrid Bergman (and, although I initially forgot it, Marlene Dietrich.) But even big stars make films that fall by the wayside in public memory, and it seemed that this was one of them. Google was no help, and at the time that was that.

I didn’t see the film again until I was watching Turner Classic Movies at my grandparents’ house. I loved watching that channel with them while filling out the crossword puzzle that came in their little TCM catalogue (all of it based on movie trivia, the only kind of crossword puzzle I’ve ever been any good at.) I recognized a certain scene where Bergman stood on a balcony, looking sadly at the moon. Her face had an expression of unutterable melancholy, and the crescent moon reflected in each of her eyes, giving the impression of two moons in one sky. I had very little time to catch up on what I’d missed before we had to go meet my cousins at the local Italian restaurant. I knew logically that the movie would be long over by the time we returned, but I turned on the channel anyway. Of course it had moved on to the lesser known Alfred Hitchcock film Stage Fright, but then I heard Marlene Dietrich sing before I could reach the remote to turn the tv off in disappointment. I knew that I had heard her sing before, and I knew it had been in The King.

Dietrich’s singing often comes across as somewhat campy today, with its Rs pronounced as Ws and it’s up-and-down tone. Madeline Kahn parodied it brilliantly in Blazing Saddles, such that it was a bit of a disappointment when I finally saw Dietrich’s western Destry Rides Again and found it to be lifeless and inconsistent next to the parody. Still, we remember her voice for a reason, and when I remembered it that night, I knew that its sardonic loneliness had rung through The King and made me shiver in my dreams.

The TCM schedule didn’t list The King in its time slot, but something else. If I had taken down the name, maybe it would have helped me find it. Sometimes the same movie runs under multiple names.

I didn’t see the film all the way through for many years, after I graduated college. I had found a web page that listed public domain film noir, including one called The Masked Guest. The website described it as a costume noir, and I curiously clicked on the link. Once I took in the credits running on the youtube window, my eyes grew wide and I did not move from my place on the bed until the movie had run its course.

The credits did indeed list it as The Masked Guest, but I recognized the strange repeating design on the title cards. They told me that in addition to starring Dietrich and Bergman, it was directed by Fritz Lang, and a character called The King was credited to “???” (I hadn’t seen that kind of credit since the first Karloff Frankenstein.) When the King finally appears on screen, though, it is unmistakably Orson Welles’s voice that booms out from behind his elaborate costume.

Here are the things I understand about The King, or The Masked Guest, or The Man in Yellow, or any other title I’ve found for it on public domain archive searches. Dietrich and Bergman play princesses named Cassilda and Camilla, respectively. Though Dietrich’s accent is German and Bergman’s is Swedish, they blend together to give the film the impression of being set somewhere on the map that I can’t quite find. The scenery and camera angles are very Freudian, with a great deal of archways and pillars.

The first act of The King involves frankly dull romantic plotlines, and the only thing that really saved it was the feeling that the suitors were supposed to be insipid, a suspicion lended credence by the fact that the love interests were listed so low on the credits. Dietrich is the scandalous sister and Bergman is the responsible one, though each takes on aspects of the other as the film goes on. Dietrich sings her song at a party, dressed in a fake 17th century gown and leaning against a piano. Although just a moment ago she had been laughing and joking with her gentleman friends, her song takes an abruptly serious tone (not seductive, not sentimental) as she tells the story of a city lost to time and memory. Bergman slips away from the party and onto the balcony, where we see that wonderful shot of the moon in her eyes. Is she mourning? Is she longing?

Dietrich cuts off the song by abruptly screaming “Not on us, King! Not on us!” She flees the party weeping and shaking, and from there on the film goes mad.

Though uncommon, it is not unknown for movies to switch between black and white and color, done most famously in The Wizard of Oz. The film The King recalls here is the silent Phantom of the Opera, which had a masqued ball scene tinted in shades of red and green that tried to provide a whole spectrum of color. The effect is even odder in the masqued ball scene in The King- the only color that appears is yellow, highlighting things like candlelight, Dietrich’s hair, a passing gown, a vase of tulips. It also highlights one particular masked figure, whose expressionless mask was decorated with a black pattern against a sickening yellow canvas- the same pattern I had seen in the opening credits. The color of his costume causes him to stand out from the crown even when he is far off in the background, just one head among many others. It must have taken long and painstaking hours of work to color in every frame.

Dietrich still seems broken up days after her song, though Bergman tries to coax her into joining the dance. Finally, at midnight, Dietrich goes out to face the party, but only to demand that every guest remove their mask. The yellow man with a voice that once warned America about a Martian invasion tells her that he wears no mask. Bergman reacts with disbelief, but Dietrich starts laughing like a woman unhinged. As she laughs, the yellow hue seeps out of the King’s clothing and face- if that really is his face- and begins to color the entire ballroom crowd. I think that what follows is bloodshed, but if there is any carnage (doubtful under the Production Code censorship), the blood must be tainted yellow and splashed across the camera like daubs of paint. Dietrich’s laughing face is doubled and tripled on screen until it dissipates, but even when it has faded offscreen, it feels as if her ghost continues to watch the proceedings.

By the end of the scene (filled with German Expressionist camera angles and mad violin screeching), only Bergman remains alive, cowering behind a grandfather clock. It does not hide her for long. The King steps towards her and extends his hand. Reluctantly, but with a fatalistic expression, Bergman takes his hand. They walk away together hand in hand. The screen shifts back into black and white, and then the credits roll before we can get a good look at all the bodies in the scene. The credits say it was based on a play called The King in Yellow, although Raymond Chandler of all people apparently had a hand in the screenplay.

As I said, that’s what I think I understand. It’s an oddly experimental art film for the era, and it may be awaiting rediscovery by the film festival crowd. I feel as if I alone know about it, though that obviously isn’t true. It is my little secret; I tell myself that my husband doesn’t need me to show it to him, it would be too odd for his taste. I’ve rewatched it many times, even if it seems like each time I search for it I have to find a different video platform or torrent. Naturally, no subscription site has it available. Maybe I am the last person who will ever watch it. Maybe no one will ever think to look for it again after me, and it will be completely forgotten.

When I was hospitalized, they let me use my laptop at night before I went to sleep (no power cord, though, in case I tried to hang myself.) I found a youtube link for The Man in Yellow, and I watched it every night. It wasn’t a soothing sort of movie, but having it in my mind all day and then watching it in the evening allowed me to think as opposed to crying endlessly while the other patients shot me awkward looks. I clutched the childhood stuffed animals my mother brought me when she visited, and I always held them extra tight when the masquerade scene started.

I watched the movie when I had to move away from my beloved San Francisco. I watched the movie when I lost the last of my grandparents. I watched the movie when a doctor unwisely took me off my medication and I couldn’t manage to eat for a month. I watched the movie when the whole world got sick and we all locked ourselves away from each other. I don’t mind that I don’t entirely know what it means. I don’t mind the nightmares. In the hospital they kept telling us about mindfulness exercises, and maybe the fact that I can focus on every aspect of the film so closely that all else falls away is the reason I keep coming back to it. I’m being mindful. I’m not letting any stray thoughts invade my head. I’m just watching and waiting for the next beat of every scene, leading inexorably to that yellow-stained bloodbath.

Streaming media doesn’t last forever, and each time I find The King, I worry that it will be the last time I ever can find it. My efforts to download it have so far been unsuccessful, odd considering that it is in the public domain.

When I watch The King, I am once again a child in my bedroom being cared for in the throes of agonizing sickness. I am once again sitting on the couch with my grandparents in front of the tv, both of them alive and lucid again. I am once again in the hospital, all alone except for my stuffed animals and the staff trying to keep me alive. The film reflects in my eyes like the crescent moon in Ingrid Bergman’s gaze. It sings to me.

I am determined to find a way to obtain The King under any name so that I never have to worry about losing it. During some of the worst times in my life, it is the only thing that has kept me sane.

#the king in yellow #cw mental illness #cw disordered eating #cw institutionalization #cw suicide

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whatdamiwatched · 3 years

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Max & Helen - From the Beginning...

In preparation for the sharpwin ship sailing next week, I went and rewatched season 1 to really contextualise the way their relationship has developed, and I have to say it was quite eye opening.

The Introduction

We are introduced to Georgia in the first scene with Max via his phone screen, there’s a photo of her as his background photo. Their first conversation on screen happens when he calls her in the middle of this day just after he speaks to Helen for the first time

Max- Just calling to say hi

Georgia- Really?

Max- isn’t that what people do?

Georgia- people, yes. You…not so much.

Max- I’m trying, I’m going to change, I’m going to win you back

Georgia- well you have 12 weeks.

It isn’t until later that we find out fully that this marriage is failing and being held together by guilt and a difficult pregnancy, which makes it even worse that Max’s attempt at “trying” was calling her in the middle of the day to say nothing compelling.

Enter Helen- confident, smart, an asset to the hospital and the only doctor Max personally seeks out on his first day- to insist that she immediately cut down on travel or get fired. While the other doctors are stats and figures to him when he starts at New Amsterdam, Helen is Dr Helen. Already their relationship is being established as different from his relationship with the other doctors. In a throat biopsy, he’s distracted by her on tv- so distracted in fact, that he’s pushed to give her another ultimatum even though the first one hasn’t expired.

Max’s ultimatum was significant for Helen because for the first time since she had been running and hiding from the pain in her life, someone saw her and cared enough to make her stop. Even though it was a medical director she just met, and it was because of work, it was grounding for her for someone to see her and need her in that way.

Her choosing to come back was significant, not just because of Max, but because it was the catalyst for facing the emotional baggage she had been trying to escape.

So here we are- Max in the hospital where his sister died and donated her organs, trying to find closure and Helen- weighed down by emotional baggage that she’s ready to face.

Tell Me One True Thing

Georgia and Max meet in the hospital where he works- her energy is light and energetic; their connection is fun and their first date is in the hospital cafeteria. From that scene, their banter is fun and flirty, but Max is relaxed – they both are, it’s an easy connection. When Max proposes, he does it by the hospital when he’s on call! He’s in his scrubs and not only does he think that’s okay- she thinks that’s okay.

Their relationship never really existed outside of his career, he never put her first, and she points this out when she finds out about the medical director job. She knows that he will not choose her over the hospital, especially not the hospital where Luna died. The thing is, Max doesn’t even really try. He never chooses her, and she never actually expects him to.

When he almost dies at the lake and has the temporary epiphany that he has to take his cancer seriously, she doesn’t advocate for him to leave his job- even though…he almost died. She knows the job still comes first. Georgia and Max’s relationship thrived on emotional distance- when Georgia begs him in her hospital bed to tell her one true thing- he could only say- I love you. While he and Helen debated his cancer treatment, her only input was going with what Max wanted? When he woke up from his minor tooth surgery, his first thought wasn’t how the surgery chain went, it was what helen said specifically.

I love my doctor

Before Helen, Max had likely never felt true intimacy and vulnerability. He had likely never been able to be himself completely with a partner. We don’t know much about his relationship with his parents, but we can deduce that he’s not close to them.

Although the physical chemistry was palpable from their first scene, Max and Helen built a friendship based on trust and honesty since they let each other in very early. This relationship was built with the best intentions but every relationship comes to a point where emotion supersedes emotion and that’s where we ended up at 1x 16 where the clairvoyant tells Max that he’s going to lose someone close to hum. As soon as she assured him that it wasn’t his wife, he pulls Helen aside to reassure her and try to explain how he feels about her ending by saying “I love my doctor”.IN THE MIDDLE OF TREATING A PATIENT IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM WHILE MARRIED. At this point, both Max and Helen are at a crossroads of the undeniability of their connection, even though they are both too principled and respectful to call it anything other than “this thing between us”.

At the lake, when he goes to spread ashes for Luna, he says to her- or to the wind that he’s addressing as her- everything I do is because of you. I just keep trying to save you , over and over that’s all I do and I never, never will.

Now where did we end up hearing those EXACT words before?

In that moment, it’s Max admitting that he’s been consumed with emotions that are clouding his judgment and he has to let go.

When Helen uses those words in 2x16, the subtext is the same. By that time, she had saved his life and even Georgia’s life- multiple times. She even saved his life twice in one episode! She saved his life by taking on his cancer in the first place, she saved his life by choosing to pass him off to another doctor when he was using their relationship as an opportunity to not take his cancer seriously and she saved his life by making the decision for him to stop that treatment when it wasn’t working. She took on the role of deputy medical director- which let’s face it was more or less the medical director, she found him, not one but two trials, she gave up half her department that she loved more than anything. She gave up her romantic relationship- she meant it when she said everything I’ve done I’ve done for you- just like Max meant it when he said it to Luna. Max and Helen had have both poured themselves into people that couldn’t pour back, one because she was dead, and the other because he had too many warring emotions to deal with.

Helen could have let Max save her more- he definitely was willing to be that person and showed it many times, but we have to accept that she was in a very difficult position. Just as soon as she felt settled, started a new relationship, made a decision about freezing her eggs, she’s hit with a consuming, intimate relationship with someone that’s married. She had to leave some walls up.

Everything I Do Is For You

Their characters have gone through a lot- Helen has a dead parent and a dead fiancée, fertility issues and a fear of vulnerability and the feeling of running out of time- Max has a dead wife, who he had outgrown emotionally, raising a child alone, battling with grandparents that blame him for their daughter’s death and parents that by all indications don’t play a significant role in his life, plus a dead sister he has carried with him his whole life. Finding each other was in many ways, the catalyst each of them needed to move forward with life at so many points. For Max, he could have very well died without Helen- Georgia could have died in the bedroom without Helen- his grieving process would definitely have been longer and more complicated without Helen – it wasn’t insignificant that she was the one that pushed the ghost of Georgia out of the apartment, she was an anchor through it all.

For Helen, she was pushed to come back to the hospital and by having that anchor to a place and her patients, she was able to explore romantic relationships and face her fertility and wanting a child head on, she was able to explore how much of herself she could give to another person again after Mohammed died and try another relationship. In turn, she was able to be in a different position when Mina came to live with her.

By Max receiving the kind of selfless love he had never gotten before (from the parts of his story we’ve been told), he was finally able to heal, from so much of the stuff he’d been carrying to come to a place where he feels able to match Helen’s energy. To come to a point where he’s able to see himself as a WHOLE person, not just a flawed one- not just a guilty one- not just an overworked or crazy or erratic one. The speech at the end of 3x13 to Luna’s parents showed just how far he’s come; how much he’s changed and how much his relationship with Helen has changed him. The confidence that he was enough as- is a Max that we had never seen before.

And Helen- naming them- before now, it’s always been Max with his double meanings and his “I want to build something better for you and Mina” and “It helps not to be alone” and “I can’t do this without you”, but this time it’s Helen- Helen who is saying “us”- Helen who is putting them together as a family and is relaxed and comfortable doing so. Helen who isn’t simply giving him advice as a friend or listening to him but giving him advice as an anchor- we are here and we are fine and you need to fight for our family because it’s worth it.

I see you

The decon shower. His hand trailing down her neck. Those voicemails. Here they are finally, trying to get into an ADULT relationship. Moving beyond the cute hand holding and lingering looks, to hopefully many kisses, many distractions and many mornings waking up next to each other.

Sharpwin is coming and I’m ready!

#sharpwin #new amsterdam

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21tailsofwoe · 3 years

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“cry for the moon: side H” musings

so i watched the hunter side of identity v stage episode 3 “cry for the moon” and i would like to let out my thoughts because there are so many of them and i do not know any better way of coping with my feelings.

spoilers for the stage play under the cut:

simply said, this production was leagues above episode 1, which i also hold very close to heart so you can imagine what episode 3 did to me. i’ve loved mary ever since i started playing the game almost a year ago, and to learn that there’d be an entire stage play dedicated to her. and not to mention that cecile daigo would play her role, i was already sold.

putting her character against eli, whose character (at least in the stage) is supposed to be this calm, supportive, empathetic person, i’d keep thinking how they’d pull it off, how’d they frame mary’s backstory, how everything would work out in the manor...i had so many questions. in the end, i came out so thoroughly satisfied by this stage. in fact, my friend and i cried multiple times watching this. it affected us THAT much.

story:

the story is a little straight-forward. mary is a queen who was executed by her own people. from my understanding, they didn’t allude to the revolution or anything, simply the fact that mary grew up in royalty and luxury, was taught to be high-headed, and self-centered, maintain that elite image. and in following this way of life, she ended up being extremely lonely, till everyone around her betrayed her and she was left to be executed. in the manor, now that she’s dead, she’s still very stubbornly insists that everyone treat her like royalty, that everyone else in the manor is beneath her, just so she could justify the pain from the loneliness and betrayal she felt. eli shows up, reaches out, the concept of ‘skins’ in the game is very cleverly used as a plot device, and the stage ends with mary learning about the Power Of Friendship(TM). she also learns to accept herself as a person, not as a ‘concept.’

i feel like the motives of the hunter main character seemed a lot more fleshed out. the connection to the survivor main character was established in due time, and all the pieces started fitting together as the story went on, something i found a little lacking in the first stage. like i said, it’s straight-forward and easy to digest, but still ends up tugging at your heartstrings.

characters:

mary’s characterisation was phenomenal. i’ve always been bitter about the fact that the game straight up copy pasted marie antoinnette onto her, but in the stage the creative liberties were put on full display. she’s her own character, with abundant past trauma which makes her cold and unapproachable. she’s so protective of her world view that she’d lash out on anyone and everyone who dares to change it. being called a ‘hunter’ makes her snap, makes her pissed, because she’s a queen! she always has been! there’s no way she could be standing along with other people! that’s not what she’s learned in her life time!

eli doesn’t have a lot of character moments because this was the hunter side after all, but he’s the same as the first stage. sees a lonely, recluse person, and wants to reach out. though the creators have stated that each stage is a different manor, or a different story, they’ve stuck to this characterisation of eli and i love it.

while the other hunters also had their parts, the more prominent ones were luchino and joseph. and joseph. oh goodness. his transformation from the first stage to now was something i craved for. he’s joking around with the other hunters, the other hunters also clown him pretty bad. he has a soft spot for robbie. the back and forth he shares with luchino also filled my heart with so much love. and most importantly, he’s the one who tells mary to embrace the present as it is, because holding onto the past will not do much. he fits the gap between eli and mary perfectly, and moves the story in his own joseph way. seeing him actually move on from his past and live with a healthy mindset, something we’ll probably never see in the game...it destroyed something in me.

joseph’s character also emphasises that in the confusion of whatever the manor wants from them, the hunters at least have each other. it was a very nice touch.

acting, direction, dialogue:

this is the part where episode 3 completely overshadows episode 1. cecile daigo is the star of this stage. she has once again won my heart. when she’s being cold, you’ll feel a chill down your spine. when she’s angry, you’ll physically feel that tension. when she screams and cries, you’ll have your heart sink. her dialogue delivery in any given situation hit in all the right spots. i’m still scared to go rewatch the guillotine scene because it was so incredibly painful to watch the first time.

not only that, but the way they creatively used this open stage which made the play seem so much more idv-like. the way they would place eli on one end of the stage walking in one direction, and mary would be on the other side walking in the opposite direction. or when the lights would follow them around the stage as they sang their duet, OR OR OR the way the actor playing mary’s mirror image would sync perfectly with mary, or even the way eli talks to mary in a soft, calm manner, knowing that she’s going through something very traumatic. it was all so beautifully done. the dialogues themselves were so impactful, we had to rewind some scenes just to appreciate the words properly.

music, costumes, misc:

the music. GOD the music. not only the hunter song, but also the score in the play itself. the fairy-tale like song in the fake world. eli and mary’s duet song. it was all perfect. in the end when mary returns to all the hunters with a change of heart, and ‘acclamation’ plays in the background i actually got teary eyed lmao. just the timing of everything was so spot on.

the costumes, just like the previous stage, were also perfect. mary rocking bloodbath while bride eli mopes in the background. the other characters in their alternate clothing was. something.

also. norton in a tux. phenomenal.

my personal favourite part from the alternate world was the dance, where i lost my shit two times: one, when i saw 0.3 seconds of fiopat and two, when i saw xiefan fist bump.

ty for the fanservice idv stage play.

as a milf enjoyer, i would’ve appreciated more of marymichi but i think this one screen cap alone is enough to fuel me for the next ten years.

gotta appreciate michiko for taking the shot at the start of the play. she missed terribly, but she took a shot and that’s what matters. go get your girl, michiko.

my review could be very extremely biased, though. sorry for ending on this note LOL. i love identity v so so much and i’ve invested myself in these doll characters way too much, so actually getting to watch my favourite characters TALK to each other, be part of each other’s stories, it may have slightly skewed my perception of of the play. of course, it isn’t without faults, but to anyone who loves idv, who loves mary especially, this is a must watch. i genuinely mean the praises i’ve given to this stage play and i do not regret spending my money on this.

i’ll watch the survivor side and the comedy stages eventually and i don’t know if i’ll be making reviews for those but i just had to talk about the hunter side.

thank you so much to the creators of this stage, to all the wonderful talented actors, and a big thank you to the new writers. this was more than i could’ve asked for.

hoping for a stage 4 with mary’s return xx

#identity v #idv #identity v stage #idv stage #idv stage play #cry for the moon #tagging the ships i mentioned for filters:#marymichi #michimary #fiopat #xiefan #metalks

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