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missmaywemeetagain · 2 years

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Pink Scarf - PART 10 (Elvis/Austin!Elvis x Reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Requested: kinda

(Read more here--Pink Scarf Series Masterlist!)

Prompt: You are part of Elvis Presley's coveted inner circle, and the currently-disgruntled wife of one of the members of Elvis' famous entourage, the Memphis Mafia. After Elvis' dynamite first performance in Vegas, you find yourself in deep water when his magnetism finally gets to you after all these years. [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: SEX. ANGST. Cussing. Infidelity. Historical inaccuracies in the Vegas timeline. Priscilla doesn't exist in this timeline.

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+, so minors Do NOT Interact) || Word Count: 5219

A/N: Oh, lordy, y'all...this one's a doozy. For whatever reason, this one did me in in all the ways and I have a feeling it might do some of y'all in a little, too. I'm both sorry and you're welcome. I promise the (eventual) payoff will be worth it!

Thank you for patience and sweet messages as I again struggled a bit to get this out due to my stupid neck/back pain. I'm really am doing better with my attempt at a more ergonomical writing setup, but am trying not to re-aggravate things, so the writing is still gonna be a bit slow going forward!

Once again, to all my babies, honeys, and lil' mamas supporting me out there, your reactions, reblogs, messages, asks, and comments are definitely helping me power through some of these particularly gnarly chapters. The asks are just so much fun and I'm so happy that I can bring a little joy (and lust) into your lives! This story (and EP) has taken over my heart and soul, so for those of you still with me, and to all the newcomers, I'm sending you all the love! And I promise there's more good stuff coming ahead, complete with more smut, angst, and tension.

If you feel so moved, please let me know what you think or how you're feeling (or send me asks since now I know how they work lol)! I put everyone on the taglist who requested it, but please let me know if there are any issues or if I missed anyone.

I imagined this with Elvis in mind, but Austin!Elvis works here, too, whatever floats your boat!

Apologies in advance if there are any grammatical errors or TW that I didn't catch.

(I did start cross-posting Pink Scarf to my long-neglected AO3 account (which some of you already discovered!), so if you are so inclined, you can check it out over there, though it's not all updated yet!)

See this post for images of Elvis in 1955

October 1955

It’s late, well past the dinner rush and nearing midnight. The harvest moon shines large and orange outside the windows, and for once the diner is empty. Unseasonably warm for late October, you fan yourself with a menu and wish the diner was packed because at least then you wouldn’t have to think about how incredibly mortified you are by the fact that not only did Ted dump you, out of the blue, but that he’d already asked Judith Cole to marry him.

Shame burns on your cheeks when you think about how you’d so easily let him convince you to go all the way with him because he swore, swore, that he was saving for the ring and that was the only thing that stood between him and you and the rest of your lives together. You had no reason to doubt him, after all—you known each other since grade school and had been going steady for over two years.

Turned out Ted was a big, fat liar.

With a defeated sigh, you throw yourself onto one of the stools at the counter and lay your head on top of your arms, tears pricking at your eyes. Stupid Ted. You hate that you’d ever loved him, and you feel even more angry at yourself than at him for thinking he was the one, that he was a good guy. That he loved you. Seems like the only thing he wanted was your innocence and once he got that, well, he’d moved right along.

In your swirl of self-pity, you don’t hear the door to the diner open and it’s not until he’s nearly on top of you that you realize you are no longer alone.

“Y/n? Doll, you alright?” his voice drawls, concerned. You whip up your head in surprise at the familiar voice.

“Elvis?” you sniffle, frantically wiping your tear-stained cheeks, embarrassed to be caught in your humiliation. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, hello to you, too,” he chuckles, “Not quite the ‘welcome home’ I was hoping for, but I just got back into town and was starvin’, so I figured I’d go to the best diner in town.” He winks and smiles that wide, crooked smile of his, his blue eyes wandering curiously over you.

You haven’t seen him in a dog’s age, with him so busy travelling around with his band, though you certainly hear him on the radio every time you turn it on. He’s getting mighty famous in the South, his unique style of music entrancing teenagers left and right, and you hear-tell that girls are screaming and chasing after him at every turn. Word is he’ll be going national any day now. But none of that particularly matters to you. He’s your friend, after all, and while you’re glad he’s finding success, you are more happy that he’s here.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, E, I didn’t mean it to come out like that. It’s good to see you, I just…” you blabber, now equally embarrassed that you put your friend off, at your job, no less. Seems like you can’t do anything right these days. You choke back a sob, unsuccessfully trying to keep your composure.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Whatcha cryin’ over? Come ‘ere, baby,” Elvis says, pulling you up off the stool and into his arms. You might be surprised at this familiarity coming from him, but instead you are just grateful for the comfort as his arms wrap around you. The kindness he’s showing has you fully weeping now, despite your best efforts to keep it together, and you are too upset to care anymore. Tucking into him, you feel the heat of his skin under his lacy pink shirt, which feels a bit intimate, but that’s honestly the furthest thing from your mind right now.

You shudder and cling to him, your mind occupied with how unfair life feels in this moment, how you’ve desperately tried to hold it together while it feels like the whole town is staring at you and talking behind your back. How the future you’d dreamed about slipped right through your fingers and there was nothing you could do about it. How you feel like it must somehow be all your fault—that you could’ve been a better girlfriend and maybe then Ted would have stayed.

Your love for Ted may have faded these past weeks, but it certainly has left angry scars in its wake.

Elvis just holds you and rocks you, whispering words into your ear in comforting tones as you finally let it all the sadness and anger of the last four weeks out. You’re not sure how long it takes, but eventually, your tears begin to subside and you come back into yourself. Suddenly, you are quite aware of the young man holding you, the way his scent and sweaty warmth surrounds you and how you can feel his bare chest through the lace of his shirt.

You breathe in and pull back, his beautiful crystalline eyes watchful. He lets you go, pulling his handkerchief out of his pocket and handing it to you, ever the gentleman.

“Thank you,” you whisper, taking it and dabbing your eyes and cheeks. You must look a fright after all that crying, but you do feel a bit better.

“You ready to tell me what’s goin’ on now?” he asks, his hand at your back, leading you to one of the booths. He plops down next to you, waiting patiently for you to compose yourself.

You glance over, really taking a good look at Elvis for the first time. His skin still glows a warm sienna from his summer tan, golden sun-streaks lightening his coiffed dark blonde hair. His piercing blue eyes continue to watch you carefully under those impossibly long, dark lashes and you realize that Elvis Presley is no longer the gawky boy you met all those months ago, not at all. He is still thin, but you can start to see the man beginning to peak out from underneath the boy, his face filling out and his jaw stronger. It starts to dawn on you why girls have been falling over their feet for him. Your heart thuds in your chest as you realize he’s actually downright gorgeous. Maybe he always had been, you think, but you’d only had eyes for Ted before now.

You try to shake away those thoughts, as it’s not the time for it and feels absurd under the circumstances. Perhaps it is because this is the first time you’ve ever been alone with Elvis; before now, there was always Jack or others in the diner or being out together as a group, but it’s never been just you two. You aren’t quite sure how that makes you feel. You’re not sure you want to know. One thing you do know is you aren’t in your right mind tonight.

He's waiting on you to say something, anything, you realize.

The intense emotions of the past weeks and your sudden examination of the young man in front of you has you flustered. “Oh, well. Um, Ted…well, he broke up with me about a month ago,” your voice cracks, tears threatening your composure once again.

“What? I thought you two was fixin’ to get hitched,” he says, sitting up and looking at you, eyes narrowed.

“That’s what I thought, too. Said he was saving up for the ring and everything. But then, out of the blue, he just calls it all off. Says we weren’t ‘meant for each other’,” you say dismally.

Elvis waits for you to continue.

“I was shocked, everyone was shocked. Seems like the whole darned town is wondering what happened, but I couldn’t tell you. I still don’t know. Then, I come to find out he’s seeing Judith Cole, which I’m thinkin’ he must have been already doing when we were still together with how fast it all happened, that skunk. That’s humiliating enough, but then yesterday that gossip Sally Hill rolls in here saying that Ted and Judy are engaged, just like that,” you ramble on, fresh tears freely streaming down your cheeks. “Here I was thinkin’ we were gonna spend the rest of our lives together. God knows I believed him, and he took advantage of that, of me, of me thinking…enough to…so I…we…” you cry, hiccupping.

The minute you realize what words just left your mouth you are horrified. It’s enough to piece together the truth you don’t want anyone to know. You slap your hand over your mouth, your cheeks blazing with heat. That was a secret you’d intended to keep to your grave, not spill it, your deepest shame, to a boy, much less Elvis Presley.

“God, no, you must think the worst of me…I’m not that sort of girl, I swear!” you exclaim. Then, defeated, you add, “Oh, I’m ruined. No one’s ever going to want me now.” You look at him pleadingly, whispering, “Oh, please Elvis, please don’t tell anyone.”

Your hands are shaking, and you suddenly feel lightheaded. On top of everything else, you’ve gone and made things worse. You wish you could crawl into a hole and die. If you could, you’d leap right out of your seat and run right out the door to do so, but Elvis is blocking you in.

But the look on Elvis’ face isn’t at all what you expect. There is no judgement, not at you, at least. His eyes have darkened in a way you’ve never seen before, a way that’s more than a little frightening. The muscle in his jaw clenches, once, twice, as his brow furrows deeply. Confusion seeps through your tears.

“Elvis…?”

“Did he hurt you?” his voice rumbles, lower than you’ve ever heard it, as he stares forward, not looking at you.

“W-what?” You’re not exactly sure what he is asking. Of course, Ted hurt you. That’s what you’ve been saying.

“You said he...he took advantage…Y/n, I need to know if he hurt you. Because if he hurt you, Teddy’s gonna wish he ain’t never been born,” Elvis says, grabbing your hand and looking at you with determined eyes, eyes filled with a shocking, simmering fury.

Oh. Oh.

You shake your head vehemently. “No…not like that. He didn’t hurt me like that, Elvis, I swear it,” you reassure him quietly.

He searches your face with open fervor, looking for any signs that you might be hiding something from him. Eventually satisfied with your answer, he nods, taking a deep breath.

You are beyond flummoxed and overwhelmed. You were already in a strange space because of everything Ted had done. But then in came Elvis, of all people, comforting you, listening to you all concerned-like, and now he looks ready to downright murder Ted at the mere suggestion that Ted might have physically harmed you.

Your heart flutters in your chest at this, surprising you, to say the least. You look at Elvis with wide eyes, suddenly acutely aware of how close he is and how good he looks and how he is looking at you like that. And maybe it’s no different than usual, but right now it sure feels different. You swallow hard.

Elvis squeezes your hand tightly. “Now, you listen to me, doll—you ain’t ruined and I don’t think any less of you, you hear? Cross my heart, your secret’s safe with me,” he says, drawing an X over his heart.

You stare down at your hands on the table, playing anxiously with your fingers, embarrassment still coursing through your veins. You believe him when he says he won’t share what he’s learned. You have to, because despite what he says (he is a man after all), if it gets out that you were with Ted before marriage, your reputation will indeed be in question.

Then, much to your shock, Elvis reaches out, brushing an errant tear off your cheek with the pad of his thumb before running his pointer finger down your jaw, resting it under your chin. His light touch sends a rolling shiver of delight through you, a response you cannot seem to control. He lifts your chin slowly, forcing you to meet his eyes.

“And don’t you dare say nobody’s gonna want you now. Baby, any man worth his salt would be lucky to have you, alright?” Elvis says definitively but gently, those azure eyes plundering your soul, as if he can banish your shame by burning it out of you with the light and care of his own. He waits solemnly for your acknowledgement, his finger still under your chin.

“Alright,” you finally breathe out, nodding. You honestly feel like you might pass out from the way he’s looking at you and from the way your heart is coming up out of your throat.

The silence that settles between you feels charged, like the feeling just before lightning strikes during a thunderstorm. You’re not sure what the heck is happening, only that something significant has shifted. You are ricocheting so quickly from emotion to emotion that you reason you must be imagining it.

Just a minute ago, you were sobbing over Ted, but now Ted feels like a long ago, far away, distant memory. Instead, you feel utterly hypnotized by the young man in front of you who has you caught in his gaze. Dangerously, you let your mind wander to the thought that Elvis sure is handsome all the sudden, with the way he leapt to your defense and is saying sweet things. Not to mention the way he’s touching you and especially how those bedroom eyes are considering you, searching your face, looking at you in what could be a more-than-friendly way…

No, Elvis couldn’t possibly be looking at you like that. It’s Elvis for god’s sake. You blink rapidly, as if this will clear these intrusive thoughts from your mind.

It doesn’t.

The flutter deep in your belly is something you should not be feeling, and yet it’s happening anyway. You feel completely unhinged. He’s just being kind. Just because a boy is kind to you doesn’t mean anything else is going on, you try to convince yourself.

You know you must be imagining the way his eyes are travelling down your face, lingering briefly at your lips. The warmth spreading across your chest and down your arms is making it clear to you that you wouldn’t be the least bit opposed if he closed the distance and pressed those deliciously pouty lips to yours.

And perhaps he’s considering it, too, and thinks better of it because then Elvis releases you, breaking the spell. You let out a shuddering breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. You aren’t sure what to say or do, you only know that you feel completely vulnerable to him and whatever seems to be happening (or not happening) between you two.

His leg is now jumping like crazy under the table, his usual intense energy seemingly compounded by the stillness that just engulfed you both. The newly gained confidence that had oozed from him not moments before has dissipated as he looks down at his hands almost bashfully.

Or maybe he’s ashamed that he nearly took advantage of the situation, you think, but that would be silly because Elvis doesn’t think of you like that—he’s just a well-mannered Southern boy being nice to a friend who’s having a bad day. He’s probably uneasy because he could sense what you were thinking by the way you were mooning over him and it made him uncomfortable. Lordy, between that and what he now knows about you going all the way with Ted, you feel like a damn hussy. Your cheeks burn with that thought and you look away, but you still mark the stark difference in his behavior.

“W-w-wanna b-b-bet she’s probably pregnant?” he says, abruptly changing the subject and obviously nervous.

“What?” you say, confused, snapped out of your thoughts. “Who?”

“Judy Cole. I’m b-b-bettin’ the reason they’s got engaged so quick is cuz she’s in the family way,” he says, looking at you with eyebrows raised.

“Elvis! You shouldn’t say such things!” you smack his arm playfully, but then you really think on it for a second. The way Ted broke up with you out of nowhere and was with Judy so fast…no, you think, he’d already been with Judy, but things got out of hand and…

“Oh my god,” you say, wide-eyed, looking back at Elvis.

“Ain’t got anything to do with you, doll. Teddy went and got himself and Judy into trouble and now’s tryin’ to get them out of it,” Elvis says with a knowing shrug.

You consider this for a moment. It’s so absurd yet so obvious that it is the most likely explanation. “Oh good lord,” you say, laughing, suddenly finding the entire mess ridiculous. And then you can’t stop laughing, and then Elvis is laughing with you, and the tension breaks and for the first time in four weeks, you feel like you can breathe again.

The dream-memory was locked somewhere deep in the recesses of your mind, unchained by the events of the last few days. You realize in your haze of half-sleep that the interaction was likely the first time you realized, and subsequently pushed away, your attraction for Elvis.

How could I have forgotten such an important memory? How many more have I forgotten? Why? you wonder as the last of the dream wisps away from you.

Protection, another voice responds.

You are barely awake when you feel the tickle of Elvis’ lips on the back of your neck, brushing down your spine in such a way that it sends tingles straight into your belly. You have no idea how long you’ve slept, nor does it really seem to matter because Elvis’ arms are holding you close. Close enough that you can feel his growing warmth against your butt cheek, and you can’t help but smile a little that this is the effect you’ve come to have on him.

In your sleepy haze, you hum and reach behind you, first drifting your fingers through his hair and then grabbing his ass at the same time you press into him.

“Damn, baby, what ya do to me…” he purrs in your ear, voice husky with sleep, “Never in my life have I ever wanted somebody the way I wantchu.” He pulls you in closer.

“Hmm, really?” you ask sleepily. You can feel him moving behind you, in what you think is an effort to shirk of his pajamas. “Bet you say that to all the girls.”

He stills, and your heart is suddenly in your throat, eyes popping open. If you had been more awake, you probably would’ve thought better of such a joke in such an intimate moment. Thing is, you know in your heart you are right. You weren’t born yesterday, and you certainly are no fawning virgin. He’s Elvis. He’s likely told many, many women something similar in the heat of the moment. You’re not upset about it, but it seems like he might be.

Cursing yourself for possibly killing the mood, you wait for him to say something, anything, that will give you an indication of his state of mind. He gives you nothing.

“E, I didn’t mean anything by it, I promise. It was a silly joke,” you finally say.

“Look at me,” he commands, voice stern. Your heart gallops in your chest, but you do as he asks, turning your body around to face his. You force yourself to look into those steely eyes, clouded with seriousness.

Elvis grabs your jaw with his hand, his now-naked body propped up on one arm and leaning over you. “I ain’t foolin’ with ya, y/n, when I tell ya I want—no—need you like I ain’t never needed anybody in my goddamn life. Don’t matter how many women came before, you hear me?” he says through a clenched jaw. He’s not mad, per say, just vehement and dominating in his need to be understood by you, as if it’s something of the greatest importance.

You nod in his hand, taken aback by both his statement and the seriousness with which it’s delivered. Your heart thuds in your chest, your breath held, from the way he’s looking at and talking to you. It’s not from fear, however, not really. It’s from the surprise and possible implications of what he’s saying to you. Sleep still addles your brain, so the dots that you’ve desperately been avoiding connecting appear only momentarily, just long enough for you to widen your eyes and catalogue what he is saying for consideration later.

Then, he kisses you fiercely, passionately, all heat and tongue, sending a ripple of heat through your veins. He’s hot and hard against your thigh.

“I need you, baby. I need what’s mine,” Elvis says, nearly desperate and his eyes beginning to blaze, putting his thumb in your mouth. You respond instinctually, rolling the tip of your tongue over it, sucking it in. You can feel the heat go straight to your core and by the way his eyes roll back, you know it went to his, too.

“There’s my girl,” he smiles. He shifts, to his knees, grabbing the silky blue nightie he gave you and pulling it up over your head, discarding it to the side and leaving you bare before him. Assuming he’s going to ravage you from above, he instead surprises you by curling you back into him, spooning you.

Now that you are both naked, with no barrier between you, his bare skin feels like flames licking against yours. One large hand gropes your breasts, cupping them, tweaking your nipples gently, while the other swipes through your folds, testing. Then he puts his cock between your legs, sliding it back and forth through your folds, hitting your clit with his swollen tip each time, leaving you writhing.

“Gonna show you what I mean, lil’ mama,” he breathes low in your ear, causing a sigh to escape your lips. “That okay with you?” he asks. You nod frantically, unable to form words because the way he is handling you, the way he is talking to you, has you feeling untethered.

When Elvis slides into you from behind, it’s insistent, yet gentle. He groans with you as he bottoms out in your wet heat, stilling as you adjust, holding you fast to him as if you might float away. Slowly, he begins rocking into you, and you are so tight around the length of him that each roll has you both breathing heavily already.

“Made just for me, baby,” he sighs into your neck, relishing the feel of your walls hugging him. His words work magic within you, filling you with warmth, causing you to lazily swivel your hips in his lap.

“Jesus, mama, you know just what to do,” he moans, taking what you have to give him.

He takes your hand in his, guiding it down your belly to that sensitive nub of nerves, using your fingers with his to rub circles for a while. A relaxed warmth pools there, eager but content with the slow rhythm you two have set. Elvis pulls your knee up, exposing where you are joined, and rubs his fingers at the place where your pussy consumes his cock. Wet with arousal, his fingers play there.

“Look at that,” he says, almost in awe, watching as he slides in and out of you, “That’s mine. You’re all mine, baby. Only you know how to take me so good.” His possessiveness and his praise send shivers through you as you watch with him, and you want it to be true. You want to be his. You love being the object of his desire, no matter how wrong it might be.

You are utterly consumed by him. As he turns you in his arms and sits you in his lap, you rock together, wrapped in each other. His lips are hot and needy and somehow still gentle on yours, on your body, as he whispers to you all the ways that you are his. You let yourself believe him, you let him prove to you with every kiss, with every thrust, that you belong to him and he belongs to you.

When he sends you into the stratosphere with him, making you look into those endless, dreamy eyes of his, you lock on as if your life depends on it. You fly together, with this man who looks as ethereal as an angel. You are as physically connected as two people can be, your bodies sliding together, sweat mingling, mouths tasting, each of your arousal coating the other. You are one.

It feels like a dream, a wonderful, glorious dream.

But after dreams, we must wake.

So then, lying there spent in Elvis’ arms, this beautiful man who has upended your life in more ways than one, fear chokes you. The icy cold of it courses through you like a flash flood, seizing your heart.

The feelings you want to avoid have been chasing you all night, no, for years, according to your newfound memories. While they were warm and comforting earlier in the midst of dreams and sex, now you feel desperate to push them away, panicked by all the implications and dangers of what they mean. You’ve become so swept up in your interpretation of your relationship with Elvis and with the allure of it all, of being desired, that you’ve lost sight of reality.

You ultimately realize, tonight wasn’t you two fucking. This wasn’t just passionate sex, at least not for you. The butterflies and the care and the domesticity…

Tonight, you made love. With Elvis-fucking-Presley.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Holy fuck. Holy fucking shit.

Your heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of your chest.

It can’t possibly be true. You can’t feel this way. It’s only been four days.

And fourteen years, that asshole voice in the back of your mind chimes in.

Shut up, I have not been in love with Elvis for fourteen years! you chide yourself.

Are you sure?

No, now you are not sure. You aren’t sure at all. And you are too busy banishing all such thoughts from your brain to take the time to really think about that very disturbing possibility.

This is not what you signed up for. You didn’t mean for this to happen. It can’t happen.

You absolutely cannot fall in love with Elvis. That road can only lead to ruin.

Part of you wants to flee, to run out of this suite as fast as your legs will carry you. But as you look over at the beautiful man wrapped around you, you realize you can’t. You won’t.

Because as much as you want to fight and buck and protest, a part of you knows it’s true. You’ve been feeling it for days. You’ll do just about anything to just be in his presence and feel like this.

The worst part is you know you are being stupid, having fallen prey to his charm, his seduction, his wiles, just like hundreds, thousands, millions of other women. You are not unique, not in the slightest. You’ve watched it happen, again and again over the years, with the revolving door of women throwing themselves at his feet.

And you let yourself become one of them.

It’s likely he doesn’t feel the same about you, not really, no matter how you want to manipulate the past and present to make yourself think that he does. You push away any possible evidence, anything at all that could make you believe he could ever really, truly love you. You don’t even let yourself begin to entertain that thought, because you know just how fickle Elvis Presley can be with his women. He desires, he covets, he possesses, he becomes infatuated, but it isn’t love. He enjoys his women and then leaves them, just like clockwork. Usually more than one at once.

You don’t think it’s intentional, what he does, he’s just Elvis and doesn’t play by anyone’s rules. Perhaps he can’t, being in his position. You know he feels lonely and needs to be wanted, needs to be loved. But monogamy and commitment and true love are not in Elvis’ vocabulary, not from what you’ve seen. And you’ve known Elvis Presley a long time.

Like you’re one to talk—you’re married, you idiot.

And there’s that.

God, you are so pissed off at yourself you could scream.

You close your eyes, feeling trapped. Every cell in your body wants him near, wants whatever he can give you, even if it’s not enough for you. Because here, lying in his arms, he’s your Elvis. He’s the boy who wanted to defend your honor in that diner so long ago, your friend, the one who listened to you and confided in you, kept your secrets and shared your joys. The boy who you watched become a man, an icon, a once-in-a-generation force of nature. A man so charismatic, so talented, a supernova so utterly unique that it is impossible not to be swept up into his orbit. Yet you know intimately that he is still just a man, flesh and blood, with as many faults as the rest of us. But you denied yourself of him for so long that the idea of being without him now feels like emptiness.

However, your mind desperately, desperately needs to protect your heart from the inevitable pain that is coming. You want to push away this absolutely aching love you feel for him, to wall it up to keep yourself safe from once again not being enough for the men in your life. Every man you’ve ever loved has hurt you. You don’t want to add Elvis to that list.

If you end it first, it will hurt like hell, but less now than in the long run. It’ll be on your terms, and you can keep it from scarring too deep. You can cherish what you’ve had without it being poisoned by the inevitable pain and heartache that will come when you realize he never really loved you. It’ll hurt less now than if—when—he ends it because he will end it. He will tire of you, of this, and realize his mistake. He will move on easily because that’s what he does, and you will be left, once again, used and in the dust.

You tell yourself this now to prepare yourself, turning over so he cannot see the tears welling in your eyes. You are angry and tired of loving and being defined by men who can so easily discard you.

But as Elvis wraps his arms around you, you don’t think you’re strong enough to do what needs to be done. He’s too alluring, too addicting, too him. So maybe, you think, maybe for now you just wall up those feelings nice and tight and keep this affair as what it was intended to be all along: just sex. Mind-blowing, hot, meaningless sex with a friend.

Nothing more, nothing less.

No pining, no strings, no deep feelings.

Just sex.

Easy peasy.

Good fucking luck.

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lonelywhalien22 · 1 year

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pretty lies - part nine (finale)

pairing: vernon x reader

rating/genre: enemies to lovers, slow burn, ANGSTY fluff, band au

summary: supporting your friend mingyu becomes way more than you ever could have bargained for when you become involved with one of his bandmates

warnings: cussing, vernon has issues in this story but please remember this is a work of fiction, mingyu stans don’t hate me but mingyu and reader are just friends

*credit: the lyrics referenced in this chapter are not mine, they are from the actual song black eye by vernon. and if you really wanna nerd out with me, listen to the band live session version he released, as that is what i imagined specifically while writing this part - trust me, it hits different.*

word count: 6.4k

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~One year later~

“Ok, I think that’s enough for today,” you said to yourself, wiping the back of your hand across your brow as you stood up from your crouched position. You glanced around your apartment, trying to find your glass of water as you caught your breath.

Your living room was full of cardboard boxes, some of them taped shut with short descriptions scribbled hastily on the outside while others were still open, various items thrown inside haphazardly. It was spring once again, but instead of the seasonal cleaning you loved to indulge in at the first sign of sunny skies and warmer temperatures, you were moving out.

When you’d first been contacted about a competitive job offer a few months ago, you had immediately dismissed the idea. Though the hiring manager had been highly impressed with your skillset, the work would be notably different from what you were used to doing at your old job, and you doubted whether you could handle the requirements of the role. Your hesitation only became stronger when you were informed that you’d also have to relocate to take on the position.

What about my family? Mingyu and the rest of my friends? The life I have here? You’d spent weeks pondering the possible scenarios and all the things that would change if you took the offer, and you’d almost talked yourself into declining it. That was until you realized how much had already changed.

It had been nine months since the guys had left to go work on their recording with Woozi. You still remembered the final hugs you’d given to Jay and Mingyu at the airport before they’d gone through security, a certain third person having not yet arrived. You still wondered to this day if he’d purposely chosen to show up as late as possible or if it was you who had come extra early to avoid having to interact. Perhaps it was both.

You and Mingyu had facetimed pretty regularly for the first month that they were gone. Sometimes you’d even see Jay in the background during your video chats as well, the two of you exchanging greetings and asking how the other was doing. By the time the second month had come around however, the distance made it hard to always remember to keep in touch. Eventually you all became busier and busier, your lives naturally moving in different directions. No matter how much time passed though, Mingyu always made sure to at the very least share the bigger updates with you:

“Why’s it taking so long to finish recording? I thought you guys would have been back by now,” you asked during one of your monthly catch ups. It had been four months at this point since they’d left.

“Yeah me too. Woozi wanted it out sooner but his team advised against it. They thought it’d be best to let some time pass between the competition and the release so there would be less of a chance of his image getting tarnished with all the drama from the fight.” Mingyu skirted over that last part quickly, knowing that it was still a sore subject for you. “But in a weird way it works out well - with the extra time, we’re gonna be able to write some more stuff and put together a whole EP.”

“What is that? Like five or six songs? That’s so amazing, I can’t wait to hear them!”

“You know, you could always get a sneak peak if you flew out here for a few days,” Mingyu offered once again. He’d been trying to get you to come for weeks now. “Nikki’s already seen me twice since we left!”

“She’s your girlfriend, of course she has. And you know I don’t have the time anyways - my boss would never let me take off for that long.” It was true that your job was a pain in the ass, but you and Mingyu both knew you had other reasons for not coming to visit in person.

“Just promise you’ll come see us perform when the EP is released.”

“Of course. I’ll be there.”

Now in the present, when you really thought about it, you realized that there wasn’t much tying you to the place in which you currently resided. Watching Mingyu and the guys for so long had given you a taste of all the possibilities life had to offer, and you were tired of limiting yourself to what you currently knew when it wasn’t really doing you any favors anyways. The job offer had just been the final push you needed, and at last you felt ready and excited to pursue your own little sort of adventure. Even if it wasn’t as glamorous as flying across the country to work with world-renowned producers, it was yours and yours alone.

You pushed the boxes you’d been working on packing up to a corner of the room, ready to call it a day, when you heard your phone ring from somewhere in your apartment. Taking a few moments to find it amongst all the disarray, you managed to answer right before it went to voicemail.

“Hey, what time did you say your flight was landing?” It was Mingyu. You could hear lots of commotion in the background wherever he was, voices and instruments faintly reaching your ears.

“Should be around eleven in the morning.” With the career change you had several weeks of cherished personal time before you began your new job. Besides the time you’d need to relocate, you were finally able to take a few days to visit Mingyu and see what the band had been working on for yourself.

“Shit, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to meet you at the airport. We’re putting the final touches on some stuff and won’t be done until around one.” You could hear the regret in his voice, but all you could do was chuckle in response.

“I’m gonna get there Thursday and I’ll be staying all the way through the weekend. Trust me, you’re not missing much. Airports suck anyways.”

“I know, but still. We’re all looking forward to seeing you. It’s been way too long.”

You couldn’t help but wonder who was included in that “we,” but there was no way you were gonna ask.

“Well, that’ll all be fixed very soon,” you said instead, glancing over at your half packed suitcase.

“I’ll see if Nikki can meet you at the airport instead since she’s also visiting,” Mingyu offered. You squealed in excitement. Since the guys had left, you and Mingyu’s girlfriend had become pretty close, unsurprisingly. What had at first seemed like an obligatory relationship born out of a common bond had over time blossomed into a true friendship. She was definitely going to be someone you missed hanging out with when you moved.

“You should have started with that option,” you joked as you tried to figure out how many pairs of socks you needed to pack and where on earth you’d put them. “Tell her I need someone to show me around when I get there.”

“She’ll be glad to hear that,” Mingyu said happily before he was interrupted by someone on his end. “Y/n, I gotta go. But we’ll see you soon, ok?” he finished quickly.

“See you soon.”

—————

When your flight landed, it only took you a handful of minutes to find Nikki, the brunette jumping up and down excitedly as soon as she caught sight of you in baggage claim.

“Hey -” you greeted, letting out a slight “oof” as she gave you a big hug before immediately taking the bags you’d been carrying out of your hands.

“I’m so excited you’re here! How was the flight?”

“Good, just glad there weren’t any delays,” you said as you took a deep breath. You couldn’t believe you were really here, about to see the guys in person again after nearly a year.

“I know you’re probably hungry, but do you think you’d be good with just some snacks for now?” Nikki asked. “I tried talking him out of it but Mingyu’s insisting on everyone meeting up for lunch after they finish for today.”

“That’s fine,” you said as you began looking around for some place where you could buy some fruit or a salad, craving something fresh after being forced to eat airplane food. Nikki noticed the look in your eye, the way in which you immediately distracted yourself at the mention of the lunch. It was something that only she could have picked up on besides Mingyu, the two of them knowing the most about your past with a certain someone.

“In case you were wondering, he will be there,” she said softly, following behind you as you picked out a snack from a nearby stall and found your wallet to pay. “I just thought you’d wanna know.”

You let out a sigh.

“I appreciate that, but I’m fine. It’s been months,” you said simply.

Nikki only stared back at you, her brow raised slightly as she tried to keep herself from calling you out on your bullshit.

“Really. I am,” you insisted. “Is it gonna be awkward at first? Yeah, probably. But this was bound to happen at some point. Let’s hope he doesn’t hate me and everything should be fine,” you said jokingly at the end, hoping she’d believe you then.

“Ok…” Nikki said. She piped up again after a few beats. “You know y/n, he’s changed - since being out here.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s not the same person he was the night of the Battle of the Bands competition.”

“Nikki,” you said with a warning tone, not liking where this was going.

“I’m not telling you to get back with him or anything,” her hands raised themselves innocently into the air. “I just don’t want you to let the way things ended between you two a year ago get in the way of you having a good time while you’re here,” she said gently.

“Thank you for that, but for the last time, I promise I am fine. Now - no more guy talk. Wasn’t there some thrift store you wanted to show me?” You brought up her weakness for clothes in an effort to change the subject once and for all.

“Say less,” Nikki said eagerly as she ushered you out of the airport and the two of you caught a ride to the hotel.

—————

“Y/n!”

Mingyu immediately pulled you into a hug that was even stronger than Nikki’s from earlier when he saw you. You couldn’t help the toothy smile that emerged on your face.

“Hey Mingyu,” you said simply. You really had missed your friend so much.

“Let her breathe,” Nikki chided playfully.

“Yeah, leave some hugs for the rest of us,” Jay said, arms open wide as you gave him a hug next.

“It’s so great to see you guys. I missed everyone so much.”

It was a little after one, and you and Nikki had finally met up with the guys to have a late lunch at a spot near the studio where they were recording. It was a bright and sunny day so you all had elected to eat at the patio seating out front. There was just one person missing though.

“Vernon’s running a little late but he’ll be here,” Mingyu said, seeing the question in your eyes. “He just had to finish going over some edits.”

Some things never change, you thought before you could stop yourself. You wondered if they were just covering for him with empty promises - if he’d somehow manage to avoid you for this entire trip.

You all finally sat down at a circular table outside. Mingyu and Nikki were to your right and Jay was to your left, leaving one last spot for Vernon just across from you.

“So what’s this I hear about you moving? And a new job? Congrats!” Jay started once a waitress had brought you all drinks. The four of you immediately began to catch up, most of the focus on you.

“I still can’t believe you’re gonna be gone,” Mingyu whined.

“I’m not dying, just moving. And now you know how I felt when you guys left,” you said playfully. “Who could have predicted we’d be spread all over the place like this?”

As you continued to chat, you couldn’t help but reminisce about where you all had been just a year ago - struggling to get by and constantly putting in overtime to make things work with the band, your day jobs, and your personal lives. And now look at you all, on your way to better things. It made you feel so proud when you really thought about it.

“I’m really sorry I’m late you guys.”

You all looked up at the interruption, seeing Vernon approach the table in a bit of disarray. He was clad in a simple white tee and light wash denim jeans, an unbuttoned light blue collared shirt layered over his tee. As he sat down, his hand came up to brush some hair out of his face, but a few stray strands fell onto his forehead anyways.

“Was it the sound engineer guy again?” Mingyu asked him knowingly with a smirk. Vernon laughed in response.

“Yeah - he went on a rant about compression techniques this time.”

“I told you to stop asking him questions,” Jay threw in, “you’re too curious for your own good sometimes man.”

“I know, I can’t help it, but anyways - ”

He looked over at you, a polite smile on his face as he scooted up his chair.

“Hi y/n.”

“Hi Vernon,” you said curtly with a tight-lipped smile. You looked down at the menu in your hands, eyes skimming over the entrees again even though you already knew what you wanted to order.

“So,” Nikki started, clearing her throat in the lingering silence. “What did you all work on today?”

“Just rehearsing the songs from the EP in preparation for the showcase,” Mingyu responded, the two of them tag-teaming on moving the conversation along.

“Vern’s been instrumental in helping us craft some amazing songs,” Jay propped the man up with a pat to his back.

“It’s all thanks to Woozi really,” Vernon brushed off shyly, but Mingyu shook his head adamantly.

“Don’t sell yourself short bro, you’ve done some great work on this.”

“I can’t wait to hear it,” Nikki piled on another compliment.

“Thanks guys.” Vernon let out a cheeky smile, looking down at his lap for a moment before fiddling with the menu on the table to distract himself, his cheeks burning.

You hadn’t really taken Nikki seriously at first when she’d said so earlier, but she was right - something was different about Vernon. He seemed lighter somehow. And it was quickly becoming apparent to you that the guys had grown much closer after working on music together for the last nine months. You could see it immediately in the way they interacted with each other, the three of them trading jokes and stories easily as you all waited for the waitress to come back.

“What’s that you mentioned about a showcase?” you asked.

“We’re putting on a performance the day after the EP is released,” Jay explained. “Woozi and Seventeen are gonna make an appearance as well, so we’ll likely be performing in front of thousands.”

“That’s incredible,” you said with a stunned expression.

“It’s part of the reason I wanted you to come this weekend specifically,” Mingyu said. “I’m not sure the timing would have lined up so nicely if you didn’t already happen to be moving -”

Nikki nudged Mingyu, cutting him off with a stern look, but it was too late.

“Wait, you’re moving?”

You looked back over at Vernon, his brow furrowing as he looked at you with a crestfallen expression. No one had told him?

“Yeah,” you said nervously, glancing over at him for a second before looking away again. You reached for your glass of lemonade, taking a sip so you didn’t have to say anything else, another awkward silence filling the table.

“So, what can I get you all,” the waitress finally appeared, ready to take your orders.

You’d never felt more thankful for a distraction.

—————

The rest of lunch had gone as smoothly as it could have considering the circumstances, with everyone mainly focused on their food. Mingyu, Jay and Nikki did most of the talking, sharing more stories from their time away from home as you politely listened along, soaking up just how much you had missed and throwing in a question or two from time to time. You tried your best to keep from looking at Vernon, which wasn’t really all that hard considering he stayed quiet for the rest of the meal. When his name came up in the conversation he’d always give a smile or a nod, laughing along at Mingyu’s ridiculous exaggerations, but besides that he gave no input.

“Well this was fun,” you said as you all walked out of the restaurant. “I guess we can hang out more tomorrow when you guys are finished with work again?”

“Actually…we were wondering if you’d come with us to the studio,” Mingyu suggested. “We wanna show you what we’ve been working on.”

“Really? Now?” you said in surprise. “Are you sure?” You’d assumed you wouldn’t be able to hear any of the actual songs until the official release of the EP.

Jay nodded before adding on, “As of today, the mastering is done so the songs are officially finished.” You noticed how he looked over at Vernon briefly, the man’s face a little red with eyes averted and hands tucked in his pockets quietly, before he continued. “We all agreed awhile ago that we wanted you to be the first outside of the production team to listen to it, as a thank you for all of your support.”

You felt honored, nearly tearing up at their words. It was such a kind gesture that you didn’t bother worrying too much about the fact that you’d have to spend even more time around Vernon. Like Nikki had said earlier, you didn’t want your history with him to stop you from sharing in such a precious moment.

“You guys…this is really sweet…”

“We know. Now come on,” Mingyu ushered you towards him eagerly.

You looked back at Nikki in confusion as she kept her place on the sidewalk.

“Go on,” she said with a smile. “The guys insisted you had to hear it first. Alone.” She said that last part with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “I’ll be waiting for you back at the hotel.”

—————

“Wow,” was the first word that left your mouth when you and the guys arrived at the studio.

The main area was bigger than the living room of your old apartment, a bunch of fancy recording equipment with hundreds of knobs and dials against one wall to your right. Comfy couches and chairs adorned the wall that was directly across, with plush carpets and decorative little knickknacks accenting the space. The recording booth was its own room, separated from everything else by a shiny sleek glass. When you peeked inside you saw a plethora of instruments and mic stands, and you even recognized Vernon’s guitar sitting in one corner.

“Crazy, right?” Mingyu urged you on with an elbow to your arm before he plopped himself into one of the chairs near the control booth. Vernon and Jay had already seated themselves.

“Sit down!” Mingyu said, patting the last empty chair, which was beside him but also just so happened to be next to Vernon. You knew it was just by chance and that Mingyu would never set you up like that purposely, but that didn’t stop the nervousness that bubbled in your stomach.

“No way am I sitting that close to the controls,” you tried joking as an excuse. “I’m scared I’ll break something.”

You backed up towards the couch against the opposite wall, planning to sit there instead, but the devastated look on Mingyu’s face made you stop in your tracks. Unable to take anymore of his expression, you glanced over at Vernon on instinct and your heart fell even more when you saw the way he immediately looked down at his lap, scratching the back of his head despondently.

Fuck. Was I that obvious? you thought, immediately feeling stupid for making things awkward.

“I can switch with Jay if - ” Vernon started, but you quickly cut him off.

“No! No it’s fine,” you said, shaking your head before taking a step forward. “I’ll just - ” you didn’t bother finishing that sentence because what were you supposed to say exactly? No, it’s fine, I’ll just sit down next to my ex instead of making you all switch chairs because I still feel weird about breaking up with him? That would have been even more embarrassing. Maybe Nikki was right - you weren’t as over your past with Vernon as you’d thought.

You finished making your way to the final seat at the booth and promptly sat down, folding your hands in your lap as you tried to muster up some semblance of poise.

“Show me what you guys have been working on.”

Mingyu looked at you seriously for a moment, making sure you were really ok first. Once you gave him a genuine smile and elbowed him playfully, he released a breath, the anticipation growing on his face again.

“Jay, can you play the first track?” he asked.

“Sure thing man.” The bassist clicked away on a nearby monitor before sitting back, sound beginning to flow from the speakers.

For the next half hour or so, you listened to several of the songs the guys had spent months crafting, worries quickly melting away as you couldn’t help but absorb yourself completely into the music. At the end of each one you immediately gushed over the melody, production elements, or other details, Mingyu and Jay eagerly offering in-depth input on more of the behind-the-scenes process. Vernon also chimed in from time to time, slowly becoming more comfortable as he gave insight on lyrical choices or even helped to elaborate upon your comments when you struggled to articulate in technical terms what it was you’d noticed in each song - “We added some more reverb here in the bridge,” “Woozi had them redo the mixing so many times on this song so they could capture Jay’s pedaling,” “That bit you’re hearing is a layer of syncopation over the main melody.” It was hard not to notice the passion in his voice. It exuded from him every time he spoke - an unbridled joy you had never seen before. You found it endearing, a smile slowly growing on your face the more you watched him.

The fourth track was the official recording of Visions. The four of you stayed completely quiet throughout the entirety of this song, fully absorbing Vernon’s raw vocals and the way they glided over the rich instrumental. Goosebumps covered your skin by the end.

“Vernon…that was beautiful.”

You were the first to interrupt the silence that filled the space afterwards, unable to stop yourself from looking directly at him. Despite everything that had happened, Visions would always make you feel something that was hard to put into words. You two didn’t have to still be together for you to regard that song with incredible care and awe.

“Thank you…that means a lot,” Vernon said, holding your gaze timidly for a moment before looking down, rubbing his hands across his jeans. He hoped you couldn’t see in his eyes how much your words still meant to him, after all this time.

“Thank you for trusting us with it,” Jay added in, Mingyu nodding along.

No more words had to be said, the group of you sitting comfortably in the silence for a little longer before Mingyu quietly spoke up again.

“There’s just one more song left,” he said, eyebrows beginning to wiggle mischievously.

“There is?” you asked, curiosity peaked at the thought of even more music to listen to. But Vernon’s head jerked back up in panic at Mingyu’s words.

“N-No. There’s not,” he said abruptly, eyes wide as he quickly shook his head in denial. He looked legitimately scared.

“We discussed this already and you said you’d do it. I really think it’s best you stick to your word,” Mingyu said to Vernon, getting up from his chair and patting him on the back before walking towards the door. “Y/n. You good?”

“Yes…?” you said, appreciating his checking in before he seemingly left you alone with your ex.

“No - Mingyu wait -” Vernon said.

“You got this bro.”

“Rarely do I say it, but for once I’d have to agree with Mingyu here,” Jay said as he also got up and retreated towards the studio door. “Plus he stole my guitar pics and won’t give them back unless I agree to this plan so…”

The two bandmates exited the room, the door closing with a sort of finality as you and Vernon were left alone together in the studio.

What is happening right now? Why the hell would I tell Mingyu I was ok with this? Your mind went into overdrive as you fully processed the situation you’d so easily gotten yourself into, and yet, there was another part of you with so many questions that you found yourself glued to your seat.

If it was any consolation, Vernon looked just as unnerved as you.

“I’m sorry. I swear I had no idea they were gonna do this, I promise,” he said as he glanced over at you, immediately feeling the need to explain.

This wasn’t how he’d imagined sharing this last song with you. If he was being honest, he’d never been able to figure out how to go about it, or if he should even try at all. So now that you were right here, sitting beside him again after a whole year had passed, he felt himself panicking. When all he heard was your silence in response, he continued to ramble on nervously.

“You can totally leave if you want. I won’t stop you.” It may have sounded like a cruel suggestion, but to Vernon it would actually have been so much easier if you did - if you left him again just like you had at that bench by the river a year ago. That way he wouldn’t have to reopen an old wound - wouldn’t have to rub salt in something he wasn’t entirely sure had healed. He could just continue to live in denial, never again having to confront the pain that had been so much of his existence or the hurt from his past with you.

“Why did you decide to record Visions? After everything that happened?” Vernon finally heard you ask instead.

It was something that had tormented you nearly every day since your breakup, the question coming to you randomly late at night or when, against your better judgement, you’d listen to certain songs you knew would make you think of him. If you’d been in his shoes you didn’t think you could have done it, and so in this moment you found yourself desperate for an answer.

“I almost didn’t,” Vernon admitted, the confession spilling from his lips rather effortlessly once he’d recovered from his surprise. “But every time I tried to convince myself not to, I would think about the times I’d gotten to perform it on stage…” He looked forward, focusing on the recording booth before continuing. “I didn’t have the words for it then, but now I realize that it was healing - getting to share that song with others. And I think deep down there was a part of me that was tired of hurting myself as a way to cope with the things that had happened to me. So when you still asked me to record it, even after the way things ended, I couldn’t ignore that.” He looked over at you again, repeating your words from a year ago: “It’s like you said, I was tired of hiding in silence. So thank you - for encouraging me. I know that couldn’t have been easy.”

You weren’t sure what you thought you’d hear, but you certainly hadn’t expected something so…introspective.

“I’m glad. That it was healing for you.”

His words were their own kind of salve, freeing you from a self-inflicted purgatory you hadn’t realized you were in until that very moment.

“Sometimes I worried that maybe you hated me for it,” you acknowledged the last bit of fear you’d been holding in your heart.

“I can’t deny that I wasn’t upset at times, but I’ve never once hated you,” Vernon said earnestly. “Not even the first night we met - and not after you told me goodbye either.” He desperately needed you to know that.

You let his words seep into your heart, the look in his eyes telling you that he truly meant it, before you finally moved on. Once and for all.

“So,” you said with a deep exhale, suddenly finding it hard to hold his gaze. “What’s this last song? The one the guys want you to play for me?”

“Right. The song…” Vernon began with an anxious gulp - he’d almost forgotten why the two of you were in this situation to begin with. He mulled it over in his head for a second, trying to find the right words to explain what the song meant and why he’d written it, but eventually he realized that defeated the purpose. The song existed for this precisely - because he had always struggled to adequately articulate his feelings in any other way. So instead of stumbling over his words for any longer, he leaned over the control booth and pressed play:

Running 'round the whole city for someone

To look me in my eyes and tell me pretty lies

Teardrops keep blurring up my sight

And right now I'm driving in my car

Going so fast, baby, so fast, baby

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Don't leave me in the dark

You said you won't be far

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

I can't stand the quiet

Is anyone out there?

I'm on my worst behavior

Don't stop me now

I fucking hate this world

So show me a way out

Wake me up from this nightmare, please

I can't stand this reality

I'm on my worst behavior

How you like me now?

Put a muzzle on me

I'll spit in your mouth

Wake me up from this nightmarе, please

I'm scarred and bruisеd with a black eyed face

Woke up on the highway

I didn't go home last night

What you know 'bout me?

I ain't got nothing

So why you keep coming to me?

With your innocent eyes, you smile so bright

Stop wasting your sunshine on me

'Cause I can't tell if it's real or a lie

Solitude

I got a couple friends

Just me, myself, and I

We play with fireworks all night

I'm okay

I'll just let it burn everything around me

'Cause you can't save me from my sadness

No, don't save me

I'm on my worst behavior

Don't stop me now

I fucking hate this world

So show me a way out

Wake me up from this nightmare, please

I can't stand this reality

I'm on my worst behavior

How you like me now?

Put a muzzle on me

I'll spit in your mouth

Wake me up from this nightmare, please

I'm scarred and bruised with a black eyed face

Turn on the radio all the way up

'Til your eardrums explode

Let's dance all night long

But if you come too close

I might just burn you whole

Turn my back and shut the door

Knock, knock

Is there anybody out there?

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Vernon as the song filled the studio, body frozen in your seat even after it was finished. So many lyrics had stood out to you:

pretty lies

tears blurring up my sight

don’t leave me in the dark

you said you won’t be far

I can’t stand the quiet

on my worst behavior

didn't go home last night

what you know 'bout me?

your innocent eyes, you smile so bright

stop wasting your sunshine on me

can't tell if it's real or a lie

just let it burn everything around me

you can't save me from my sadness

black eyed face

“Y/n? Are you ok?” Vernon asked, turning his chair to face you fully as he saw your expression. He was terrified of what your reaction would be.

“I’m not sure…” you said honestly, finally looking over at him. “Are you ok?”

“I am, I promise. This is something I started writing around the time I joined the band. Right before I met you,” he tried to explain.

“But clearly that’s not when you wrote all of it - black eyed face? ” The more you went over the bits of lyrics you could remember, the more you saw parts of your relationship and his time with the band sprinkled all over it. You didn’t really know how to feel.

“You're right - I added different parts at different times until it all came together. It was my way of coping with what I was going through at the time…and eventually that included pieces of you too - pieces of us.”

“Pretty lies? Wasting my sunshine on you? Is that really all you remember when you think of our relationship? The painful parts?” you asked quietly, a little afraid to hear his answer.

“No, of course not,” Vernon looked at you gently. He wished he could hold your hand in that moment but he held himself back.

“Then I don’t understand. Why write this -”

“Because I love you,” Vernon said finally, his stomach dropping at the confession. He couldn’t bear the thought of you misinterpreting his words any longer. “I love you and I’m sorry for how things ended. For what I put you through. This song was my way of acknowledging that - not by attacking our relationship, but by putting myself back in that negative headspace and being open for once about the fact that I still had things to work through. When it was too late to be better for you or for the guys, I had to find a reason to be better for myself. And so I wrote this song as a reminder.”

You heard everything he said, but you could only focus on one thing.

“You love me?” you couldn’t help but ask, feeling strangely emotional for someone who had supposedly moved on.

“I mean…yeah. I’m not sure the feeling will ever go away,” Vernon’s face turned red as he decided to be completely honest with you.

“I…”

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m not asking you to take me back - it’s just something I want you to know.”

Just then you heard a noise on the other side of the door, the two of you looking over just in time to see Mingyu peek his head into the room.

“Sooo…the song’s good isn’t it???” the man blurted out, brows once again wiggling. “I was thinking we could call it Pretty Lies.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, ready to tell him to knock it off, but someone else beat you to it.

“Leave them alone!” you heard Nikki say, dragging him back by the collar of his shirt. You thought she was at the hotel, but apparently even she couldn’t stay away for long.

“What? I just wanna -” but the door promptly shut, blocking out Mingyu’s antics.

The two of them really were made for each other, you thought with a bit of admiration. You and Vernon couldn’t help but begin to laugh.

“I guess that means it’s time to wrap it up,” you started, standing as you gathered your belongings. Vernon followed suit, still facing you.

“Just so you know - the label doesn’t know about this song,” Vernon said. “And regardless of what Mingyu wants, I’m not sharing it unless you’re comfortable. The EP is great as is.”

“You’re right that it’s great,” you started, “but it’d be even better with this song. It’s really, really, good Vernon,” you said honestly. You couldn’t deny that, even if it had been a little surreal to listen to in the beginning.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure,” you said, walking towards him and reaching out for a hug. He was the only person you hadn’t given one to since arriving, though this one felt notably different from the others, the familiarity of his touch sparking something in you.

Vernon held on to you tightly, his head instinctively tucking into that familiar spot on the side of your neck while you rubbed his back softly, neither of you letting go.

“We’re gonna miss you. I’m gonna miss you,” he admitted once you two had lessened your hold enough to look at each other, the thought finally dawning on him that whenever he did finally return home, you wouldn’t be there waiting for him.

“I know. I will too,” you said wistfully. “But this doesn’t have to be goodbye forever, you know?”

You stood up on your tip toes then and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. It wasn’t one of fiery passion, nor was it one loaded with secrecy or shame or hurt. And to Vernon, it was his absolute favorite of any of the kisses you two had ever shared. When you looked up at him, you could barely hold in your laughter, his face morphing into the perfect mixture of bliss and confusion.

“But how? You’re moving,” Vernon couldn’t help but ask despite the happiness he felt.

“Slowly. We can visit each other. With my new job I’ve got more flexibility, and you’re all gonna be famous soon anyways,” you only half-joked. “Even when you guys finally do come home, I have a feeling you won’t be there for long…”

He looked down bashfully at that but you placed a hand to his face, angling it back towards you as you looked at him seriously again.

“Vernon. I want us to explore this - the way we are now. If you want to.”

“I do,” Vernon said confidently.

“Then we’ll figure it out,” you said assuredly. “I trust this. I trust us. Ok?”

“Ok.”

—————

When you and Vernon finally left the studio, you found Mingyu, Jay, and Nikki all waiting for you out in the lobby with bated breath. Nikki let out a near shriek when she saw that the two of you were holding hands.

“You guys have my blessing to include the final song,” you said immediately, deciding not to keep them in suspense for any longer.

“Oh thank god,” Mingyu immediately blurted out. “If I’m being honest it’s my favorite and I really wanna make it the single -” Nikki smacked Mingyu’s arm.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“‘Gyu would you please think before you speak???”

“What are you talking about??? You screamed before I said anything and have been gushing about double dates for the last five minutes.”

The two of them continued bickering playfully.

“What they’re trying to say is - we’re really thankful we get to share the song,” Jay translated. “And we’re happy for you guys.”

“I am too,” you chuckled lightly. “Although now that I think about it, I have one request - can you call it Black Eye instead of Pretty Lies?”

The guys all looked at each other for less than a second before speaking in unison.

“Deal!”

—————

It was the day of the showcase. You stood in the crowd once again, just a speck in a sea of thousands of fans as you watched the guys perform. It brought you back to the best parts of old times, sitting around on Jay’s beaten up couch when all they could have hoped for were a hundred people to show up if they were lucky. But now you got to see them on their biggest stage yet, Mingyu happily tapping away at the drums, his head of hair moving all over the place as he kept the beat going. Jay was his usual chill self, just vibing out on the bass contentedly. And then there was Vernon, looking a little shy as the opening chords of Black Eye began to ring out from the strings of his guitar for the first time live. It reminded you of when you’d seen him take the mic at the first gig the guys had ever performed at together, except that now there was a distinct sense of determination in his eyes despite the trepidation that you couldn’t help but admire - the sight awakening a long lost feeling of butterflies in your stomach. He caught you looking at him, gazing at you fondly for one last time before leaning into the mic and beginning to sing.

prev. chapt. | series masterlist

a/n: if you made it all the way here to the end, I just wanted to say thank you to each and every one of you who took the time to read this story! if you've got feels, feel free to share them with me here or reblog the ml if you're so inclined. please take care <3

taglist: @twogyuu @yourfavoritefreakyhan

#vernon fluff #vernon smut #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #seventeen #vernon x reader

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missmungoe · 6 months

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You write a lot of Shanks and I love it so much. I image it must be difficult to write some aspects when his backstory is incomplete. (Mainly thinking about the Pain-sharing AU and the necessity of Shanks telling Makino the story of his face scars)

So…I was wondering how you’ve imagined the details of Shanks getting the scars.

Apologies if you did address this in one of your fics, it’s been a few months since I checked for updates and I was delighted to find you here

It's a bit of a double-edged sword, because on the one hand there's so much room for your imagination, but I'd also love for my stories to not be completely unreadable when canon eventually contradicts something. I actually used to be a lot more hesitant about making up stuff for the characters whose backstories are open or have a lot of unanswered questions, because I used to want my stories to be as canon-compliant as possible, but over the years the way I interact with canon has changed, and I have more fun exploring the unanswered depths of these characters than I do trying to find ways to write around them. That being said, it's still important to me that the things I make up feel like they could be canon, that they seem plausible for the world and the characters involved, so I always have that in mind whenever I expand the little universe I've created within Oda's.

Shanks' scars is one example, and in the fics following Siren's Call, he tells Makino the story when he comes back during the timeskip, and similarly in Mnemosyne and Tideswept when she asks about them, so I haven't shied away from it. As for how I imagine it went down, going by the little info we have, I figure there was a fight between Shanks and Blackbeard where Shanks underestimated just how dirty Teach is willing to fight in order to win, and that the blow that gave him the scars came when he wasn't expecting it - for instance at a time where he considered their battle over. Shanks has a very strict honour code; Blackbeard does not, and so I thought this could be a plausible scenario. We know Blackbeard didn't think very highly of Shanks back then, and in the event that Shanks ended up besting him in a fight, especially if Teach also underestimated him, I could see him pulling a dirty move in order to come out on top (at least in his own definition). The fact that the scars still seem to bother Shanks also makes sense if they were achieved through dishonourable means:

So I've thought a lot about Shanks' scars! And I might be completely off course, but regardless of what the real story ends up being, I've had a lot of fun exploring this part of their backstory and how it's influenced their rivalry in the present, not just in terms of how they view each other (Shanks clearly considers Blackbeard a threat, and given Teach's remarks in Marineford, he no longer underestimates Shanks), but also with regard to Makino, and in my fics where Blackbeard is a main antagonist, his conflict with Makino often comes back to the scars: the one thing that she, the very embodiment of kindness and mercy, won't forgive. (Btw if this brand of angst is something you're interested in, aside from the Pain Sharing AU, Charybdis is probably the fic in Shanties where his scars play the biggest role.)

#Shanks #Red-Haired Shanks #Akagami no Shanks #and NO need to apologise! I'm just delighted to be asked #I also don't expect anyone to have read and remembered everything I've written; I'm excited if someone has read just one of my fics<3

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alexissara · 5 months

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THE Comics Of The Year 2023

I'm Alexis Sara, and if you don't know me then you should know I am an Eisner [among several other award] winning comics writer and I eventually kinda left behind comics because of a massive feeling of burn out and a lack of hope for the industry. However, I utterly adore the medium and I do enjoy comics still even if mostly in indie form or Manga. Manga of the year is a separate post since I just read more Manga and I wanted to talk about more comics overall so this section is all non manga stuff from Webcomics to graphic novels to single issue type deals, everything I read is up for consideration.

Extreme Venomverse #4 Necroko story

This story makes me even more mad than I am every day about the state of the public domain. Stan Lee is dead, he doesn't need Spider-man money but Marvel will for many many many more years hoard the amazing ideas made by so many other people that relate to spider-man and even when Spider-man enters the public domain Disney will sue people for using any part of spider-man that doesn't come from the debut time and is still with in their copyright. So an amazing character like Nercroko is stuck at the whims of some editor to see if the creators can bring her back, for how long they can bring her back, they get to decide how gay she is allowed to be, how violent, if the story fits their brand image and if a random event has her erased from the timeline or something to fuel a mans pain or something. Which is to say fuck Marvel comics, don't buy their stuff but I read this story and it's really fucking good, 12/10 it's not really worth buying Extreme Venomverse cuz the other stories are mid but as fuck but this little short story if you could find it at retail value for a single issue of Venomverse #4 pick it up for sure. It's a venom magical girl who is gay, just great, perfect, brilliant, inspirational.

IDW Sonic

You expect to see the sapphics from me and there here, for real, but I really enjoy this series in general. Whisper and Tangle are my main draw but I did enjoy Sonic video games a lot when I was younger so the characters, designs, etc are always something I just like seeing. The IDW comics bring a great consistent art style that makes the world of sonic feel very alive, stylish an cool. The new characters are all people I want to show up as playable in new sonic games and the story lines all feel like they would be exciting to see in a video game. These comics are really well done and while it could be more explicit in allowing it's original characters to be queer [I understand main game characters not being able to have romance to give the game devs space] it's still a good time.

Ladykillers

I love when the lesbians are on an adventure, when they are poly, when they are silly, and we got it all here. Ladykillers is a silly D&D inspired webcomic that has these cute little dumbasses go on quests and get into trouble. It starts pretty one shotty and eventually gets into a continuous narrative. If you loved Bauldr's Gate but wished it was just about like three homoerotic girls getting into silly trouble, this one is for you.

My Dragon Girlfriend

My Dragon Girlfriend every year is a top series for me. The release format of release makes each update a very small dose of a larger narrative but these little romances are all compelling and sweet and fun filled with silly little sapphics. While the newest couple added in is the one I am least compelled by I still enjoyed them. The art is really cute and sweet, the way emotion is portrayed is handled really well, Country really knows how to capture emotion within the medium and masters making good use out of all the little details.

Grand Slam Romance

I don't like sports but if lesbian magical girls played soft ball I would have to convert to being the number ones sports girly. The messy lesbian drama here is so good and the jokes are really great, when I grabbed this I kinda worried it be YA toned which typically doesn't sit well with me but luckily this is in fact adult fiction for adults that just has a strong sense of whimsy. It's a really great read and I hope a lot more people check it out because it's super good and even has a follow up book coming out.

SpellAstra

These lesbians have issues and I am so fucking here for it. We got a trio of queer witches casting spells, fighting monsters, etc who are all also teachers for a school of other witches. One of the party turns into a demon if her seal is broken which causes her to get all violent and feral, one has a magical artifact tied to a bigger play happening across the universes of the world and the final is holding secrets she doesn't want to share. From there their issues run into each other, they deal with new problems they cause, their love lives get complicated and we find out the truth of all the messy lesbian fun that is unleashed between them. The translation is sometimes a little wonky but if you can forgive a self published self translation to English for sometimes saying words a little wrong but still understandably then damn there just isn't really a story like SpellAstra I've read.

Mage & Demon Queen

After following this series for so many years it finally finished. This action comedy yuri series is fucking amazing from start to finish a fun time with some of the best jokes across all of comics for nerdy little sapphics like me. I do think near the end of the series we spend too much time with the men of the cast who simply were not the draw for me at all but they got a lot of panel time but outside of that small preference so much of this series is so perfect it's hard to even fault the parts that are a little less great.

Pink Sugar

What a fucking book, what a queer gift that this exists, that we live in a world where this is being released on webtoon [and a ton of other places] gives me hope for queer art and art in general. This story is lesbian in the deepest ways, with the diversity of lesbians that I want to see. Masc Non Binary Lesbians, bigger fem lesbians, trans lesbians, all falling in love with each other in these gloriously sweet ways. This series is truly queer in the most real sense. The presentation of the afterlife is innovative and fun. the comedy is great, the chemistry between all four of this polycule is great, the romantic moments are super sweet, the art's fantastic, the pacing is great and all of that lends to some really fucking heart breaking moments to as we get into the deep feelings of these dead women. This is one of the best stories being told right now and maybe ever. I love Pink Sugar, I beg of you to check it out. It's currently kickstarting a physical version if your reading this near release of this post then you should go back it. You can read it for free, if you like it, back it.

If you want to help me enjoy more art then consider checking out my Patreon or Ko-fi and giving me a little bit of cash so I can do more of this kind of writing but also like make lots of my own art, art is hard to make and costs money and like maintain my chronically ill and trans body also takes money so anything helps, thank you. If you want more details on any of these I do have reviews for many of the pieces of art above but you can also let me know you want more and maybe I'll write more.

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jaythelay · 4 months

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I feel like TF2 had a really bad time in development hell for a while and the devs are just sick of it at this point. Stuff not working out, not making it to release, and simply put, not wanting to maintain any new ideas.

They had a medieval 2Fort and for the life of me, the only conclusion I can come to is they didn't want to maintain 2 separate experiences for the same game. MvM being a departure they...basically stopped work on eventually too. Hilariously, it being a horde-type game probably being what kept it going, much like with L4D from Counter-Strike.

Feels like alot of stuff at Valve just didn't work for a decade. and I think it's because nobody was forced to finish their work. And unfortunately that's just a simple aspect of creation that not everyone can handle, no restrictions. I imagine this also lead to people who did a lot of work, not getting full credit, or having their ideas superseded by essentially leaches who contributed nothing before, but have Their idea on how it should be.

That also would explain how the FUCK they canceled L4D3. What the fuck company doesn't get that shit finished one way or another? I can appreciate the freedom that Valve allows, but I think THAT should've been the moment an adult spoke up and said "This shit hasn't been working for literal decades."

I heard they stopped having as much freedom, and while on paper it was great, you HAVE to have restrictions in creation. Otherwise nothing gets done, nothing progresses, and nothing really even gets started past the initial planning process. The thing is, all we've seen is the broad end of both spectrums. One that doesn't work enough to get stuff out the door, and one that doesn't work either, but garbage at least gets out the door every week.

I'd like to see Valve just move a bit on that spectrum, not the opposite end in any way, just force people to Finish The Work they started. Like Left 4 Dead 3 for example. I can't imagine most people in the division that grew were happy that some idiots fucked all their work up entirely. I also, would have fired the idiots who wanted to move L4D3 to fuckin' Unreal or whatever. God damn morons don't know what company they're working at. Want to know the answer? You keep it on Source 2 because I wouldn't fucking buy it if it was on another fucking engine. No confidence in your own engine also paints a VERY poor image of literally EVERYTHING about the company, their engine, their work culture, god what an embarrassment.

Seriously though, I think people should probably chill on the "savetf2" stuff. I don't think that's gonna inspire anyone there to work on it anymore. Just kinda...annoy them that they can't say "Guys this was HELL to work on and almost nothing got out the door but cosmetics, failure after failure to get anything else out the door. We're tired, it's nearly been 2 decades. We aren't planning on shutting down servers or anything. Just keep playing if ya want to."

I'd much prefer a TF3 because I'm curious how they'll handle it. But I severely doubt we'll ever see another Valve big name title again. Which sucks shit, but what can ya do. The credit we can give, is outside of taking down TF2 clones they really don't need to take down, is that they at least allow people to do whatever the hell they want with their IPs. Do you think Valve was ever gonna make HL2VR? Honestly. Doubtful. The only reason Half-Life got an update is because of the SteamDeck, otherwise, that update would never have happened. They aren't interested in going back to Source anytime soon, they're jumping to Source 2.

Now there is a possibility they come back to other titles to give it the SteamDeck treatment, but I have high doubts of that either. HL was a blatantly obvious choice and Valve not having it work well for their own hardware is actually unconscionable. L4D is the embodiment of that meme with the skeleton under water, Portal doesn't really need much.

So I put forth a question I've pondered: Why is there even a Valve? It's not called ValveVR, nor ValveDeck, it wasn't a Valve Machine, or Valve controller, and Valve hasn't released a (good/playable) game since the 360 era. An update/total revision for Counter Strike is simply expected when it's their only real game success in years. So, otherwise, why is there even a Valve? Seems like they'd just morph into Steam by now. I also think it'd quell the fires of people wanting more games and updates.

I'd rather them NOT quit making games outright, but...like man, I've been playing L4D since I was at least 12yo, Half-Life since I was 3-4. I've been waiting. They've had the time to tell us what they're doing and thinking, them not telling us, feels like it's because they themselves don't even know or it's a total shit show. But when they do actually know what they're doing, they come out with confidence. Hardware and Steam has been their only confidence in decades. I'd rather have an answer to whether or not these IPs are genuinely dead, than have that carrot hanging in front of me anymore. Sure, I can ignore the carrot, but it's still there.

I think nearly 20 years is enough time for Valve to comment on...just...anything people have questions for anymore. I'm kinda sick of guessing what is even going on over there. This isn't a hate-post or anything, just a grouchy old man yelling at the sky sorta thing you've seen a million times before, just probably on the opposite spectrum of the main discussions. I don't want an update for TF2, I want an update on Valve. Not Steam, not their hardware, not specifically their IPs, Valve themselves, what the hell is going on over there.

#Valve #Steam #Half-Life #Portal #Left 4 Dead #IP #savetf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 #l4d2 #l4d #HL2VR #Half Life #Half Life 2 #Half-Life 2 #I have more to say but the main point is of all the things Valve has left us totally in the dark about #it's been Valve #we're pretty sure about everything else in comparison

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hummingbird-games · 1 year

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Dev Diaries

June 15, 2023

Y’all it wasn’t (just) my asthma out to make me see the pearly gates...it was COVID ☠️ it zipped through everyone in my household, and unfortunately me and my mom got the full punch to the face. I was already pro-mask + pro-hygienic practices, but now I’m extra pro-mask complete with a death glare directed at all the uncalled for commentary from strangers.

Enough about being sick LOL, I’m making this because I want to talk about games, also sometimes I cope with humor.

Current WIPs

I know y’all sick of my shit (me too), but as far as I’m concerned, Crushed is coming out this summer!! Really!! I will make it happen even if I have to do a few updates post-release, so help me God. I want to move on to other things and I’m so antsy and pitiful looking at a nearly-done-but-not-quite-yet-project 😭

And I know Sundays and Tuesdays have been super light on content recently but I feel like I don’t have enough to share once or twice a week? (And the stuff I do have is too boring 🙂) I’ve been told to reblog older posts but as you see, the only thing I reblogged was the pinned one lol. (I promise to do better with consistency on HBG Project #3)

(ALT text isn’t working for me right now, so below is the concept sketch for Ariel!! Obviously you see her on the key art buuuuut I originally planned to share this with y’all anyway!)

Ariel’s role...evolved during the production of this game, for lack of a better word. When I sought out to tell Corey’s story and decided against a kinetic novel experience, there were certain things I wanted to bring attention to (and certain decisions I wanted to leave in the player’s hands). This discussion will get dangerously close to spoiling the content of the endings SOOO we’ll put a pin in it!!

(The below image is a screenshot with Corey, Florence, and Jacob. The text reads “I kinda forgot she was standing there too...”)

This scene was written and coded with the rest of Corey’s friend group being off screen, but eventually I got sprites for Keegan and Oke. But I can’t help reimaging this scene with either of them and it makes me laugh so hard! That being said, I don’t imagine what you see in the demo will change in the final build buuuut who knows??

Randoms

I hinted waaay back when that I planned work on an HSDJY sequel this year. To my dismay, it’s still in the throwing spaghetti noodles at the wall stage. My ambitious ass lowkey hoped I’d have a finished draft for at least one of the routes by end of the year--because self-made deadlines 🎉, but I’m stuck in outline HELL!!!

That being said... it’s okay to work on other things, I am giving myself permission to work on other things, and I’ve been eyeing game jams. But the low stakes one where I won’t jeopardize my sanity. There’s Yuri Jam, which I participated in last year, and then there’s Once Upon A Time VN Jam WHICH LOOKS LIKE SO MUCH FUN????

I’ve been doing a lot of reading while recuperating (which probably means nothing because I’m always reading??? Unless I’m in a slump. Or playing viddy games. Dude. Don’t get me started on the pitfalls of being a game developer + bookish content creator. Time management?? We broke up) and the beginnings of an idea are starting to gel! I want to make another short project, and I’m curious if I can come up with something that fits the parameters of both jams. Fingers crossedl!!

Conclusion

I...don’t have anything else to add.

But go check out the games and projects I’ve reblogged posts about recently!!

Some are fully released, some are out soon, some have Kickstarters, and/or some are WIPs!!!

(Oh, and I guess check out High School Daze: Junior Year to see my humble beginnings)

- Gemini ✌🏾

#gamedev #game development #updates and rambles #crushed vn #as of writing these tags #I am still sick lol home from work for the week and everything #long post #(no read more because I want y'all to SEE this Ramble City)

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northropi · 1 year

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So I'm going to be using this more, for real this time.

In an effort to Holy Fucking Shit They're Considering Cisgender A Slur Now What The Fuck, I am soft-leaving Twitter. For real now. What do I mean? I will not post anything "directly."

I'll still like, follow, reply, retweet, whatever, but any media or in-depth text (so like also media) will no longer be natively placed on Twitter.

From now on anything I put on Twitter will be links to other sites.

It also seems inevitable at this point that I will eventually have to leave Twitter entirely because harassment is becoming more frequent.

While I'm not big enough to be readily targeted, bigots are trawling the trending tab to find anyone who comments on a recurring topic and start gnawing them.

I've never been a full "no ethical consumption under capitalism" person, but up until this, I could at least blow Elon's bigotry off as "oh, so we happen to have a bigoted owner on this site, well not gonna pay his ass so I'm fine in the short-term." But this policy, which seems to have gone through, is probably the first time something actively bigoted and not just generic right-lib "hey we should let bigots talk because censorship bad" has been written into the ToS.

To strongarm Cis out of our vocabulary leaves us with no words to describe Cis people exclusively (which is itself a pretty damning reason why it's not a fucking slur, but I don't think at this point that anyone who says they think it is is doing so in good faith). We have to use the word bigots want us to use to describe cis people.

Normal.

And every time we speak it, they'll lick their slimy lips and relish in the implication that, by exclusion, we have admitted we are not.

BlueSky likely will mark the end of Twitter being an even neutral space for vulnerable people in terms of community, though maybe I'm talking out my ass there because I hear some shit about BlueSky too- so sub BlueSky for whatever more solid Twitter-style multipurpose high-throughput platform follows and actually is good if I have to eat those words, I guess.

It, or the hypothetical next thing, will bleed Twitter of users who are, you know, not fucking horrible, and in turn, create a selective pressure that turns Twitter into a decidedly bigot-friendly site. This is the cost of being run by someone who thinks "free speech" should mean taking the wrong answer to the paradox of tolerance, and an idol to rightoids and conspiracy theorists who need that "gifted" Christ-figure and a supposed force of opposition to exist, even if they have to rip their brain in two to characterize that opposition as the establishment while, being conservatives, every single stance they take is pro-establishment.

You people ruined schizoposting, you know that?

Newgrounds will be for images with occasional text updates, this for long but relatively rough posts, Wix for more encyclopedia-style content as I intend to use it in a wiki-like capacity with secondary blog purposes (why not use wiki for that, you ask? because it looked like a lot to learn up front and there seemed to be like twelve different wiki formats, Wordpress/Wix was just easier but might change later).

I'll also aim for some filler on Youtube in the form of just video game clips so I can feed the algorithm a bit and try to be more active in exploiting what free time I have to actually use my mic for voiced stuff including, possibly, short streams, though that begs the question of where I'll be doing those.

As for Tumblr, a friend offered me to help me learn its syntax or whatever you'd even call it in this case to get it formatted. I wouldn't count on it replacing Newgrounds yet and that may be my primary art site from here on out (I've expressed concern about their harsh policy against WIPs and certain modeling programs that might include my VRoid work, but the latter would obviously be fine here and the former can still be posted in a publicly accessible capacity to NG, just not promoted in the art portal- hopefully I get "scouted" there sooner than later but nothing is a dealbreaker yet). The problem ofc is because, well... First off, NSFW. "Oh but you can post-" yes. I know. You can do some lewd stuff and fetish content fine as long as it doesn't hit a particular bar of "non-artistic" nudity. However, a lot of my stuff is raunchy fucking hypercock bellybulging cum cum madness. I can't just fly under that restriction and not need to eventually find another outlet.

Second, I really gotta handle these fucking bots. Not sure how many I have still as I imagine a lot are getting cleaned out by mods, but it seems follower notifs on this site have been going into junk for a while due to sheer frequency.

I'm also thinking about if I have it in me to forgive DeviantArt for their AI debacle, but the site's stance on it is concerning and I fear that there's at best going to be a ton of it flooding the site, which, while acceptable if they hold their promise of being able to opt out future works (remember, the opt-out doesn't apply to any works put up before- you can't un-train a neural network, so fuck that sideways), will be frustrating to interact with. I'm also going to look into ArtStation a bit, I recall them doing something dubious but I'm not sure of the status of it since. I actually already have an account there, for Project G.L.U.T.T.'s demo mostly...

#twitter refugees #long reads #art #vtuber

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corishadowfang · 2 years

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Fic Notes: On the Edge of Daybreak

With the final chapter of On the Edge of Daybreak being posted, like...today, I thought it might be fun to get some--I guess behind the scenes stuff and fun facts about it? Or at least, I’m interested in those sorts of things, so maybe other people will be, too, haha.

So to start off with--we have a playlist:

Full Playlist

Theseus

Turn Around

Journey to the Past

I’m Still Here

The Paradox

Runaway

Who Is She? (Reprise)

Tell Your Heart to Beat Again

Lantern in the Night

Show Yourself

Dearly Beloved (Vocal Cover)

Honorable mentions include Falling on Angels, I Have Questions, What Did We Know?, and Fairytale. (Yes there’s a Frozen II song on the playlist shh.)

Fun fact about On the Edge of Daybreak that I’m pretty sure I mentioned in chapter 4, but the story was originally conceptualized when I was listening to The Paradox (up there on the playlist!) and got the idea in my head, “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if Skuld was hearing these stories about some weird fox, and it turned out they were about Ava, who she then had to chase across the worlds to try and get more answers on her past?” The idea was that Skuld was doubling as the hound in the song, haha. (I don’t remember how I initially got to ‘Skuld is chasing after Ava to get answers,’ but I think it was just because I was thinking about the ‘Skuld is Subject X’ theory at the time?)

Anyway, what I haven’t talked about is that I then proceeded to expand the story...using songs. I kind of...mostly envisioned them as AMVs/animatics, haha, but I knew I’d never have time to actually, like...create them, but it was fun to imagine the story in my head. (The songs I used were also somewhat different! The Paradox was still there, obviously; Runaway was actually also still there, it was just before The Paradox, and was kind of the ‘introductory’ thing, where Skuld eventually got away from the cell and first started trying to hunt down answers. And then I used Fairytale from the honorable mentions above as the one where she kind of got answers.)

While I realized I’d never be able to do anything with the songs...I did think about doing a fic about it. I actually had the first chapter drafted like...I think it was nearly a year before I started Dandelion Seeds? But I never had the time or motivation to really go further than that.

I didn’t actually stop playing around with the story in my head, though, because it was a fun thing to think about, and I kind of got to thinking about what would happen and how things might play out--and then I kind of hit on two separate ideas. The first was thinking about how Skuld might actually get her memories back, and thinking that, story-wise, it’d make a lot of narrative sense for her to return to Radiant Garden and confront certain things about her history--and that this would be around the time that Radiant Garden was falling. Which was just a really intense idea that gripped my imagination. And the second was just this image of Skuld finding letters left behind by her friends and using them to learn more about herself and about her friends and using them as a way to cope and move forward.

Those were kind of the things that prompted me to actually write the story. The playlist was kind of organized with the idea of being a pseudo-outline? I used it to brainstorm how the major plot beats would go, haha.

...Alright, well, the playlist trivia got a bit longer than expected, so uh, here’s a whole bunch of other fun facts in bullet point form:

Originally I wanted to write out the whole thing and do very thorough edits before posting the story. Partly I wanted to do this because it would help me avoid burnout, and partly because then I could make it a lot more polished. But I was struggling with motivation a lot, so I eventually decided to just go with a biweekly update schedule to force myself to actually finish it. There’s still a part of me that wishes I could’ve polished it more--but I figure a complete but unpolished story is better than one that was never completed.

This was initially supposed to be a short series--maybe 200 pages long. I am, however, very long-winded, so it ended up growing by...a lot. (One day I will write an actual short series. One day.)

In some of the earliest ideas for drafts, Skuld actually didn’t want to find her past; she just felt obligated to because there were people out there who were probably missing her, and she felt like she ‘owed it’ to the person she used to be.

Zidane wasn’t always going to be a part of the cast! Initially, I wasn’t going to have anyone but Jim and the Treasure Planet crew--but it also felt kind of weird, not having anyone come from Gaia when I had Skuld start there? And it felt a little unbalanced with just Skuld and Jim, haha. Other candidates for the third party member were Freya and Garnet.

Initially I wanted to play with the prose a bit so that anything that related to the Keyblade (including Ava and Luxu) was written with a lot of figurative language and purple prose-y stuff and everything else was kind of more normal prose. I quickly realized that was going to be way too much editing for a biweekly update schedule, but you can still see some remnants of the idea.

The point of the story was always less about Skuld finding her memories and more about her being able to come to terms with what happened to her--which is why she gets her memories back before the actual climax. She’d need to have them to be able to figure out how to cope with them and move forward.

This is probably the closest I’ve stuck to an actual outline, like...ever. No, really, my outlines almost always fall apart like...a few chapters in, but this one worked out surprisingly well. I have no idea how.

The confrontation between Skuld and Luxu at the end of chapter 11 is one of my favorite things I’ve written, like...ever.

Healing is definitely a process, and sometimes, the after-effects of trauma will stay with you for a long time--maybe forever. I wanted to acknowledge that at the end of the story; Skuld is doing a lot better, but she still has some issues sometimes--and that those issues still haven’t prevented her from being able to find some sort of peace and acceptance.

No, Skuld has no idea what happened to Scala ad Caelum at the end of KH3; yes, when she finds out, she’s going to consider resurrecting Xehanort just to make him fix it.

On that note--I imagine she’s recruited a lot of people to help her rebuild! The crew helps on their free time, but so do a lot of other people. It’s slow going, but there’s progress.

Hinted at this a little at the very end of the last chapter, but Skuld’s been pretty busy as a Keyblade wielder! She takes on missions to fight Heartless whenever people need her to do so; she’s pretty well-known in her neck of the woods, it just happens that that’s way away from where most of the main games take place. It’s a big universe!

The ending bit with Skuld walking away from Daybreak Town is...actually a little bit of a pun? She is constantly ‘on the edge’ of Daybreak Town in her dreams, and the sun’s always just about to rise, so at the end, when the sun finally rises and she walks away, she’s no longer ‘on the edge of daybreak,’ i.e. the story’s over.

As far as the title goes, it has a couple of different meanings! There’s the very literal one mentioned above, obviously. It’s also a little more metaphorical, in that she’s perpetually ‘stuck’ on the edge of daybreak (town), so to speak, since she’s obviously very desperate to find her past. And then it’s also like...on the edge of a discovery/something new. Daybreak’s kind of like a new beginning, and Skuld’s basically on the edge of a new beginning herself--she just has to get to the point where she’s ready for it.

The story was always meant to have a relatively open, ‘the journey continues’ sort of ending. Originally, I planned to leave it with the trio getting ready to leave Scala ad Caelum, with it still up in the air whether or not Skuld would go with them or go somewhere else or even stay in Scala. I ended up deciding to go with one set in the future so I could leave the implication that she’s about to run into some old friends again. (Yes, she does in fact probably recruit them for rebuilding purposes. It is partially their fault. They owe her.)

Uh, I actually have...a lot more I could say, haha, but I never realize how long these things’ll be until I start typing them out. This story has definitely been a journey, with a lot of emotional labor put into it, and while it’s far from perfect, it’s still something I’m relatively proud of. I’m sure I’ll come back to it later and see all sorts of mistakes, haha, but at least for now--well, I’m glad it’s out there.

#kingdom hearts fanfic #on the edge of daybreak #fic notes #might do one of these for other stories too?#we'll see!

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pisoprano · 2 years

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My current art process (July 2022)

Thought it might be fun to show off some of my (still developing) artistic process since some of the other Miraculous Ladybug comic creators I’m a fan of have done so recently (and I need to work on being my own hype person).

[note: this is all in reference to my ML fan comic Runaway Catwalker, which updates at @runawaycatwalker ]

Before I do anything, I write the script. Since words are cheap, I might write out the same scene/beats out several times coming from various angles to give myself fodder for what I eventually will use in-comic (at least a third of my 43k draft document right now is stuff I’ve already thrown out, and much more of it will be cut as I transition the words to the comic page). For example, here’s an alternate version of the interaction that takes place on Page 10:

When I’m ready to start working on the next installment, I pull up my comic template and start making sketches to get a feel for the layout.

Earlier on, my sketching process was more deliberately messy, with handwritten text and a larger line weight. I soon stopped doing this since I realized that I was investing in a version of the comic that wouldn’t exist, so it’s better to just use all the same basic tools regardless of what phase of the process I was in.

This is more how I do my sketches now:

Once I’ve sketched out the full comic page, I start working on the lineart, using the sketch layer as a mostly-transparent guide. If anything is in the background (or otherwise is complicated), I’ll use multiple lineart layers to keep things separate if I so I can easily adjust things later.

Then I start adding colors. By now, I’ve got a dedicated color palette for all the reoccurring characters (plus some other colors that come in handy) and any variations in shade just come from the fact that my main color layer is at 80% opacity. In cases where colors might seem complicated (such as Ladybug’s spots, Alya’s shirt, or things with fading colors), I’ll often ink in oversimplified colors for the character that I’ll add details to later. If the colors are for magic powers or tears, those get their own color layer.

On the occasions when I actually put effort into my backgrounds, I’ll pull up a reference from the Miraculous Ladybug Wiki to use. Otherwise, I’m usually content to let page’s overall color and/or some vaguely colored blobs do the trick.

At some point, I’ll start adding ovals/rectangles to my Speech Bubbles layer and panel divisions to my Front Panels layer and realize that--no matter how much I tried to account for the room available--I will be covering up something I didn’t mean to and therefore I will have to start moving pictures around and/or figure out how to convey things in fewer words. I’m usually not entirely happy with the final layout, but I think it’ll be easier to live with now that I’ve decided to now include the version without text bubbles in the Read More of my posts.

Back when I first started making this comic, blissfully unaware that it was about to take over my life, I put additional effort into adding shading. That was abandoned by page 3. I’m not even a quarter of the way through what I want to do yet and I’ve been at it since February, so as far as I’m concerned, avoiding shading means I’m saving my sanity in the long run.

The final step (besides actually posting it) is creating the image description for the page. This usually consists of me copying all the text boxes into a document, fixing any typos, and then trying to describe what I see in each panel. It’s an interesting exercise for me, as a writer who seldom describes anything in prose, to try to reverse engineer visual storytelling, but I hope it helps people get a better read on what’s going on in the comic.

And that’s it! Hopefully that was interesting to you, let me know if you have any questions.

#runaway catwalker #my art #my art process #miraculous ladybug

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bvannn · 8 months

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Weekly Update November 3, 2023

Art stuff is going well ish this week. Could be going better but I had 3 exams. I think I have a bit of leeway for a bit after I get the homework for this weekend done, though.

October is over but I’m going to keep going at the prompt lists. Inktober is close to done, gore and cringe are a little less than half (although I’m skipping a few on the cringe set so it’s probably closer to half). Gore is unfortunately getting a little repetitive so I’m going slower on it but if I get creative I might pick back up. Gore is also a bit trickier because obviously I can’t really find reference images, at least not easily. It’s fine I’ll get it done eventually.

Animation is starting to go well again. Emile’s tweens for shot 1-4 are almost done, cleanup should be minimal because I’ve already cleaned up the shoulders, just need the torso and to add some hair physics, and then do his face. Shouldn’t be too bad but we’ll see. Feeling awful because I looked through the other shots to make sure they’re still holding up okay (since I changed a bit of strategy) and I’m probably going to have to do Tim and Emile’s animation for shot 1-2 all over again it looks terrible. 1-1 and 1-3 hold up pretty well, though, and I was able to tweak some things that didn’t. Things are still going well.

Music I have a bit of motivation for this weekend but have a feeling it’s not going to work out bc time. I’ll try to get a bass guitar in there, that shouldn’t be too time consuming, and maybe get going on the verse. Theoretically the rest shouldn’t be too bad since I can copy inputs from previous attempts, but I’d still like to make it sound right. Also still debating if I should try to sing myself or use a vocaloid. I’ll worry about that once I get closer to actually needing the lyrics. Honestly I’m really close to having what I want I just need to suck it up and put shot together. Then I can move on to more small music projects.

Body has been really really unkind to me, and seeing the number of people online unintentionally mocking my condition lately also hurts. I’m trying to power through things, but please think about what you say. Even jokes hurt sometimes. Hoping to get more done this weekend, no promises.

#weekly update

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five-rivers · 3 years

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While You Still Can

For Ectober Day 2: Scream

Warnings: Accidental self-injury, repeated injury, minor blood, muteness.

The first time Danny got laryngitis was the day after returning from the bad future. He’d been a bit of a baby about it, too, because not being able to communicate effectively while already feeling like garbage and being depressed wasn’t great. Jazz had been very understanding about it all.

He got it again the next time he used the Ghostly Wail, and resigned himself to the inconvenient side effect. The Wail was sort of a last resort power to begin with, since it drained so much of his energy and left him vulnerable. He hoped that with time and practice it would get better.

He hoped in vain.

The day after Tucker's resignation from the student body presidential race, Danny, Sam, and Tucker splayed, exhausted and still slightly sandy, in Sam's basement. They'd settled on watching a nature documentary at some point, although none of them were really paying attention to it.

Tucker sighed heavily and readjusted himself so that his legs hung over the arm of the loveseat he’d commandeered. “So, I’m tied with Danny for most frequently possessed,” said Tucker.

“Seems like it,” said Sam, lazily twitching her foot to kick Tucker’s. “Unless mind control doesn’t count as being possessed.”

“Ugh. I hate this. Do you think we should try to practice throwing off overshadowing again? I hate that, too.”

“Dunno. Danny, do you think that would do any good?”

Danny, because he had the attention span of a caffeinated squirrel, tried to answer verbally. This was painful and did not work well.

The sound from the documentary briefly dissolved into something that wasn’t quite static. All three teens sat up, straight and wary of any ghostly intruders.

Danny’s ghost sense did not go off. Danny, who hadn’t been looking forward to how his ghost sense would feel against his abused throat, sighed in relief.

“Wait,” said Sam, “the static- Danny, was that you?”

Danny shrugged. If it was, it wasn’t on purpose.

“Maybe… Can you try to talk again?”

That would hurt. He made a face.

“I know,” said Sam. “But if it was you, don’t you want to know?”

“Could be the start of a new ghost power,” said Tucker, lying back down.

Danny rolled his eyes, but once again tried to speak. Once again, the sound of the documentary cut out, replaced by something else. Something that wasn’t words, but also wasn’t just random noise.

“Weird,” said Tucker. “So. New power, I guess. Do you think you’ll be able to do that without your voice gone?”

Danny shrugged. It wasn’t like these things came with a guidebook. Also, this didn’t seem particularly useful for anything except getting his friends’ attention when he was temporarily mute.

“I wonder if it works on recordings,” mused Tucker. “It’d be useful for making sure no one catches you transforming on film.”

Ah. That was true.

“We’d have to test it,” said Sam.

Danny dropped back onto the floor. He didn’t want to do anything today.

“Later?” suggested Sam. “Maybe once your voice is back?”

Danny gave her a thumbs up.

Danny’s voice came back the next day, as usual. Trying to mess with audio electronics had no effect, so they sort of forgot about it and ignored it. It wasn’t important.

They didn’t think it was important.

Danny kept using his Ghostly Wail as a trump card. His voice always took a vacation afterwards, but never for too long. Never long enough for Danny to worry. His parents were making noises about bringing Danny to the doctor, maybe a throat specialist. But they were ridiculously easy to distract.

Everything was normal. Everything was fine.

Until Technus came by with a massive upgrade, courtesy of Vlad, Danny suspected, and Danny had to use his wail twice in a row.

He managed to cap the thermos before he doubled over, coughing. Blood speckled the asphalt below him. Which was disturbing for a number of reasons, not least of which being that he was in ghost form, and shouldn’t be bleeding red at all.

He heard a gasp, and twisted in a way that probably would have broken a normal, human spine.

Sam and Tucker were looking at him with a great deal of consternation and worry.

“Dude…” said Tucker, softly.

Danny winced, and his rings flickered.

“Don’t do that now,” said Sam, scoldingly. “Shoot. We need to get you to Frostbite or something. That’s- Oh my gosh. Frick.”

Danny grimaced. They’d seen him more beaten up, but this amount of blood from the mouth probably was a more disturbing image than bruises and random cuts.

His rings flickered again.

Tucker swallowed hard. “We’ve gotta… Um. Somewhere to transform. Yeah.”

“Alley,” said Sam, pushing.

Danny let go of his transformation as soon as he was out of sight, and leaned against Tucker. He was so incredibly tired. He coughed, lightly, and more blood dribbled from his mouth.

“Oh, gross,” complained Tucker. “Are you, ah, jeeze, you’re not okay.”

No joke.

“Frostbite,” said Sam. “Danny, you up to- What am I saying, of course you’re not. Tucker, you’re going to have to drive.”

“Uh,” started Tucker.

“Since I’m going to be dealing with first aid stuff.”

“Oh. Okay, yeah, I can drive.”

Danny wheezed as Tucker made another wrong turn and almost plowed them into a half-melted wall. Sure, the Speeder could phase through just about anything here, but that ‘just about’ was a significant concern.

Plus, going too far that way would put a lot of extra time on their journey. Like. A lot. Some kind of fourth spacial dimension nonsense.

“Sorry!” said Tucker. “Did your parents update the controls or something?”

They had, but Danny couldn’t exactly explain how at the moment. He shrugged.

Eventually, they did arrive at the Far Frozen. The yetis took one look at Danny’s pale face and the blood dripping down his chin and rushed him away to their hospital. Frostbite arrived, and the next hour or so was a whirlwind of tests and scans, particularly of his neck and throat.

They… looked worried. Which made Danny worried.

They gave him good painkillers, though, and lying on the ice bed did wonders for his tension.

Frostbite came back. “Great One,” said Frostbite. He settled himself, fur shifting. “Your Wail is an amazing power. From our scans of your core, it looks like you are also going to develop other vocal powers.” He paused. The silence stretched long and deep. Normally, Danny would have tried to fill it. “But,” said Frostbite, finally, “those powers are not compatible with your human vocal cords. Using them damages your human vocal cords.”

Danny nodded.

“Your ghost half will replace them,” said Frostbite, “but they… they would not be at all the same.”

Danny tilted his head.

“You are probably confused, because you speak in your ghost form, but the structures are very different. You… You would be unlikely to be able to communicate in a way humans would understand, without significant practice. Not while you were in your human form.”

That… didn’t make sense. He communicated with people now. Frostbite and the other ghosts communicated just fine.

“It’s just the type of ghost you are,” said Frostbite. “You are… powerful, Great One, bound to a powerful and painful path. I am sorry for that.”

There was something so pained and apologetic in Frostbite’s tone that Danny started shaking his head. He hardly knew what he was saying, and he still couldn’t help but reject it.

“I am sorry, Great One,” said Frostbite, “but if you keep using your Ghostly Wail, your human half will become mute.”

Frostbite knew, then, just like Danny knew. Danny wouldn’t be able to stop using his wail. Not while people were in danger. He couldn’t abandon people he could save.

Tears collected in the corners of his eyes.

It made him want to scream.

(While he still could.)

#danny phantom #ectoberhaunt trick #ectoberhaunt 2021 #ectober 2021 #ectober #fic #fanfic #ectober day 2: scream

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ignitedbynatsu · 3 years

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Jealousy pt. 2

A/N: another update whatt 👀 here is the long awaited part 2 of jealousy! I hope you like it @softiebadbitch! I've written a couple more one shots, which are currenlty in my drafts, but I'm gonna be spreading them over the next couple weeks (at least try to because I'm so impatient af) since I have finals and not much time to come up with complete new story ideas.

Genre: maybe a bit of angst? Fluff

Warnings: some swearing, some doubt about the relationship

🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡 🗡🗡🗡

He shouldn’t mind, he never spared it any thought before, so why did it bother him now so much? He’s used to your extreme friendliness, so why was it that he was only now getting annoyed by it? Was it because of Laxus? It couldn’t possibly be, he trusted the both of you with his whole heart. The only thing he was certain of was the fact that something didn’t sit right with him when he saw you and Laxus return from the job, shoving each other playfully around. He shouldn’t be surprised that you managed to crack Laxus, you had that effect on people after all, but for him also to break so easily? It just didn’t feel right.

“There you are!” your angelic voice filled his ears, and all of his worries he that had occupied his mind only seconds ago, suddenly seemed to vanish when you placed a short sweet kiss on his lips as a way of saying hello.

“How was the job?” Freed smiled down at you as he waited for you extravagant explanation you always gave when you returned from a mission.

“Laxus was totally exaggerating, he could’ve easily done the job by himself” You playfully roll your eyes at how he made it sound like you were the only one who could’ve helped him with the job “but it was fun! I finally got to see a more personal side of Laxus. I now truly understand why you admire him so much. He really is an amazing mage and surprisingly funny too!”

On the outside, the green-haired mage nodded along as you kept explaining all the ‘cool’ stuff Laxus did during the mission, while on the inside he wanted nothing more but for you to stop talking. He was acting petty, he knew it, he just couldn’t help himself “sounds like you two had a lot of fun, how about we end the day with a home-cooked meal and a movie?”

Freed was ready to leave these weird feelings behind and just bask in your love and affection, but you seemed to have other plans, quite literally for that matter “I would love to, but Laxus had already asked me to join him for some drinks to celebrate the success of the job”

“I see” he pressed his lips in a thin line as his eyes trailed towards the blonde mage. He knew he and his two other friends were planning something by the way they were talking and sneaking a glance at the two of you every so often. He just hadn’t quite figured out what. Did they have a bet that you wouldn’t be able to crack Laxus? Or was it something different?

He opted for the second option when Laxus appeared by your side, not sparing Freed even a glance “You ready to go?” The way Laxus hand rested on your lower back to guide you out of the guild, made the hairs on his arms stand up, but he refused to show any hint of annoyance.

“Bye, love, see you tonight!” You called out to Freed as you let Laxus guide you out of the guild.

The following days, the uneasy feeling never left Freed, in fact, it only got worse. He could feel his calm and composed act break, but he didn’t care. The anxiety and jealousy he was feeling were much more important than a stupid image. He still couldn’t wrap his head around what was going, and perhaps that was the most frustrating part of it all.

He shouldn’t feel jealous, he knows he shouldn’t. He knew you two would never do something to hurt you, he knew that deep down, and yet his mind kept playing tricks on him, sending him down the dark rabbit hole known as doubt.

It was only when Laxus willingly gave you a hug, that he decided he had enough “Okay, what the actual fuck is going on”

You were taken aback by the strong language coming out of your boyfriend's mouth. You didn’t know whether to be more shocked at the fact that he raised his voice out of nowhere or the fact that he just cussed at you. “I- What?”

“What’s going on between you two? And don’t you dare say nothing. You’re suddenly best buddies out of nowhere and decide to never leave each other alone for more than a second after that. Didn’t you two think that was at least a bit suspicious? You better come clean with me right now, or so help me God” Freed’s eyes were literally shooting fire as they darted between you and Laxus.

You had never seen this side of your boyfriend, and it kind of terrified you. Terrified by how he suddenly blew up without any warning. Did he give you any signs this past week? Were you being a horrible significant other for not hesitating for a moment and take his feelings into account? You should’ve known, but then again, why hasn’t this happened before considering you’re like this with everyone else too?

“Freed, I-“ You were still somewhat speechless, and before you could even sincerely apologize, you heard Bickslow cheering from behind you “finally!”

You whipped your head back so quick, you’re surprised it didn’t give you whiplash as you looked at him and evergreen who were now approaching you three “Took you long enough”

“It’s still less than a week” Laxus shrugged nonchalantly. Freed had cooled down a bit, but his eyes still held a hint of rage in them, “what the hell is going on?”

“Oh my, Freed, you sure get a foul mouth when you break your façade” Evergreen snickered while the said mage shot her a death glare, absolutely not in the mood for her snarky remarks.

“Can someone please tell me, us-” your eyes darted towards Freed for a mere second when you said that before eying your other friends again “-what is going on?

“Right, right. So, Evergreen over here was confused as to how Freed never got jealous over the fact that you’re so friendly with everyone” Once again you were questioning your qualities of being a good girlfriend “and then we realized that we had never seen Freed break his composed attitude under any circumstance-“

“so you thought, why not toy with our relationship?” the annoyance coated every word that left the green-haired mage’s lips. To say that he was disappointed in his friends was putting it mildly.

“It makes us look like bad friends if you put it that way” Evergreen mumbled as she looked away in shame. To be fair, she didn’t think Laxus would actually succeed in his job.

“Because you kinda are, right now” Freed sighed in disbelief at the obvious statement Evergreen just made “and for you to actually participate in one of Evergreen’s scheme’s, Laxus? What did they offer? You know what? I don’t care. Hope it was worth it.”

Freed stormed out of the guild, ignoring the shouts of his friends. You sighed deeply before finally speaking up as well “what you guys did, was kind of messed up, but I’ll talk with Freed about it and get him to soften up a little.”

“Thank you, (Y/N). We really never meant for this to happen. We’re so sorry” Bickslow apologized with the other two chiming in.

“Whether he forgives you guys is up to him, but I’ll see what I can do.” You hummed, ready to leave as well but stopped when you heard Laxus voice. “What about you?”

“Next time when you have an idea like that again, maybe stop and think about our feelings too. See you guys tomorrow” You gave them a small smile and actually left this time.

Once home, you immediately noticed a frustrated Freed, sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. “I’m home”

“(Y/N), I-“ You stop him before he can muster any more words “stop if you’re going to apologize, don’t. You had every right to act the way you did. I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner, now that I think about it. I’ve been acting like a terrible girlfriend and for that I’m sorry, I’ll do better from now on. I promise”

Freed quickly got up and took a couple of long strides before stopping in front of you. He placed both his hand on your cheeks, lifting it slightly, so you were looking him in the eyes “No, you stop that right now. You’re not a bad girlfriend, you’re the furthest thing from it. I knew what I would get myself into when I asked you to be my girlfriend. I didn’t expect you to change, nor do I expect that from you now. I’ve let my insecurities taken over whenever I saw you with Laxus, which I should’ve never done since I deeply love and trust the both of you.”

“You know I would never leave you for Laxus, right?” You whispered, scared that if you’d talk any louder your voice would break. “You should really give yourself some more credit. Laxus isn’t superior to you. In any case, you are superior to him”

“You only say that because you love me” he rolled his eyes, but appreciated your attempt at cheering him up nonetheless.

“Maybe, but does that really matter? You’re perfect the way you are, and I love you with every single cell in my body and believe me there are a lot” You joked lightly, trying to get rid of the tense mood, in which you succeeded cause you even managed to get a light chuckle out of Freed. “In all seriousness, though, I’m sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t trust me.”

“And I’m sorry for even doubting you in the first place” He removed his hands from your cheeks as he placed a soft kiss on top of your head while wrapping his arms around your figure, your hand automatically sneaked around his waist as you laid your head against his chest.

“You know, Bickslow, Ever and Laxus really didn’t mean any harm but that horrible stunt they did” you mumbled as you both swayed slightly from side to side.

“I know, I’ll forgive them eventually, I just want to let them dwell on it for a little bit more.” He hummed in agreement. You lifted your head from his chest to look at him with an amused smirk on your lips, “what?”

“You really do have an evil side when you get ticked off. Remind me to never get on your bad side” you shook your head in amusement before laying your head back on his chest, feeling the vibration of his laughter against the side of your head.

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unpretty · 3 years

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astielle ch 28 spoiler ask dump~~

anonymous asked:

Tauril-form is puberty, because that's when his voice changes. Abysscale-form is college-age because that's when he goes to his first orgy.

anonymous asked:

You called Abysscale-form college-age (which does not preclude teenage sexscapades given the ages that go to college) and that tracks with how I think of Tauril-form as going through puberty (because of the voice-change). But if Tauril is the horny teenager that's kind of sad. Because as Minnow has pointed out many times That Dick Will Kill.

not each other, it won't!! although i imagine taurils sleeping with each other would have the bro-iest vibe. very bill and ted. taurils also have Options with people who aren't giant bull centaurs, it's just awkward is all. fortunately for everyone taurils are actually adults and are not full of hormones, they just have zero impulse control and when they like someone they want to impress them and spend time with them and it doesn't necessarily occur to them to get their dicks involved in the situation (karzarul's mind was elsewhere the first time he was a tauril)

anonymous asked:

When Violet said monsters make the best mercenaries and throw the best parties I didn't think about it, but the fact that all the impyrs came into being with swordsmanship skills equal to Lynette probably had something to do with the former. Even if ten isn't that many, THEY COME BACK. (Eventually. In, like, a month.) And the others probably learned from Lynette, even if they died. Lynette's unintentional teaching, back again.

they learned from the best murdering them repeatedly

anonymous asked:

When Ari is repopulating, and he skips Black Drakonis, he says "Makes sense." But he's surprised when Violet points out that Black Drakonis is missing, so it sounds like he at least had a theory/assumption at the time for why she was skipped, but it doesn't match with the new information.

he initially just assumed that black drakonis had managed to avoid being killed the whole time, which made sense because she's a big dragon and she can just fly away if someone is trying to murder her. but generally if a bigass monster is alive someone is going to see it, especially her, because she likes finding population centers to try to guard.

anonymous asked:

"It also occurred to him that trying to get Minnow to act like she lived in a society since they were young may have negatively impacted his sense of what constituted an acceptable thing to say to a person while his dick was out." Is just HILARIOUS.

anonymous asked:

Honestly I can relate to Leonas cause just last week I was like 'I keep falling asleep in class maybe I should develop a caffeine addiction' and one of my friends was like 'pls eat more food' so I started to actually have breakfast and an after work snack and I magically stopped falling asleep in class

anonymous asked:

Minnow's hips don't lie, but castle ruins are strangely deceptive.

everyone who wasn't following along when astielleblogging intersected with kink taxonomy hell is going to be so confused if/when minnow finally gets stuck somewhere

@9ofspades asked:

Ari is my favorite again and I want him to have actual eternity to be happy with his poly soulmate throuple together. And also his big monster family. Also I think he's wrong about what the core of the Heir and Hero are - both of them have, deep in the core of their souls, the fact that they are Monsterfuckers.

for the record i have a post in my drafts with all of your readalong asks and i still haven't decided what to do with them but i enjoyed them IMMENSELY

anonymous asked:

>looking for food >ask the cook if their food is earthy or wet >she doesn't understand >pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is earthy and what is wet >she laughs and says "it's good food sir" >buy some food >its wet

@ivylaughed asked:

I love the tumblr meme references in Astielle. The guards bringing their own knives; there being an infinite variety of brassica oleracea; the fucking chocolate guy. I'm half-waiting for a children's hospital/color theory reference. Thank you for the easter eggs.

i'm glad someone read 'chocolate birdhouse' and immediately thought THAT FUCKING CHOCOLATE GUY AGAIN ashjasd

anonymous asked:

I just wanted to say that as a plant nerd and forager I deeply appreciated Minnow's surprisingly accurate botany lesson.

unfortunately all the books that leonas gave minnow are still at her house and so she cannot cite sources for the existence of hemlock, queen anne's lace, and giant hogweed

anonymous asked:

“I think you overestimate people’s willingness to admit when things don’t make sense to them," lmao Minnow has a point

will the two men she is with learn from this and start admitting when they don't know things they think they should and are confused? absolutely not.

anonymous asked:

XD Ari hears "Kavid" and immediately attempts a strategic retreat.

anonymous asked:

“‘you should get dressed’ is a complete sentence.” Is making me laugh.

it's probably for the best because if he actually had known all three of them were out there it would have taken him like an hour to get ready and he would have had at least one breakdown about how none of his outfits were good enough and it was all nari's fault

anonymous asked:

Kavid: I will be happy to HAVE YOU ALL *lascivious eyebrow wiggle* at my earliest convenience.

anonymous asked:

"he gets smaller" "in this weather who doesn't?" KITTY PLZZZ

anonymous asked:

I can't decide whether I love or hate Kavid - I have a very Specific idea in mind for his voice, though I admittedly can't figure out where I'm pulling it from. He is an Excellent character though. Lovely chapter as always :D

anonymous asked:

Before, I was entertained by Kavid. Now I love him.

anonymous asked:

Kitty, Kraven and Kavid have similar speech patterns on purpose, right??? Right?????

i was honestly imagining some kind of nonsense faux-european what-country-is-this-even-from hollywood accent but imagining that he has sounded extremely russian this whole time is extremely funny

@rose-and-bones asked:

SHE HAS A TYPE aghfgstjs

minnow having a thing for obnoxiously pretty men who think they're great aka self-recognition through the other (horny)

@speakingintothevoid asked:

“You are,” Leonas said, “an egotistical, self-important fop.” “Ye-e-es,” Kavid said without shame. “She has a type, does Starlight.” I! LOVE!! IT!!! Makes me almost think of Violet and Karzarul - our point of view character being faced with a version of themselves who are more comfortable in their own skin and our boys not knowing why that annoys them

@keleviel asked:

I rescind my earlier mild disdain, Kavid is great. Is he actually The Greatest Of Bards, or is that just more showmanship?

he rocks about as hard as you can rock on a lyre, which is probably harder than you'd think (especially if you brought a lot of drummers) (which he does)

anonymous asked:

Jakshahshsh every time a new astielle chapter comes out i read it at least twice. Kavid i love you. Leonas i love you also you fucked up lil man. And karzarul the seat. And minnow the mischievous. and just. poor nari. existing in the same world as minnow and her all-powerful boyfriends and also kavid. nari needs a raise

she really does

anonymous asked:

Bruce in Office Meeting and Leonas grabbing the wine when Kavid starts talking about Imperials solidarity.

anonymous asked:

"You would like to compare notes?""Always." Brilliant. Leonas to a t. Loving this interlude with kavid. Snuggly tipsy leonas is a treat. kavids talk of how the weather makes all of us smaller had me cackling. Also this batshit imperial conspiracy is gr8

anonymous asked:

I am suddenly much less comfortable about Leonas performing medical experiments on Minnow, though no fault of his own. :(

@mooseman13579 asked:

Leonas finding out about the weird sun empire truther stuff: haha I'm in danger

the real unanswered question is how much of this is news and how much of it is stuff he already knew and assumed was normal

@thegayknee asked:

Holy shit this is it, isnt it. This is how they fix karzarul's reputation and expose Leland. With the power of Kavid

anonymous asked:

Karzarul's Questlog: "Work on our Image" updated, The Tale of Hollow Monsters delivered to bard.

anonymous asked:

just how many of her lovers is minnow going to recruit into her questing party

she should probably be swapping people out to keep their levels consistent but instead she just keeps karzarul and leonas as her companions for every single quest

@flying-butter asked:

"Details! I need details!" "The king sucks." This is every conversation with any of the trio. Minnow likely knows how to complete half of Ari's quests and Leonas the other half, but no one talks about anything without prompting.

minnow just assumes that everyone knows what she knows because she can't possibly be the brains of the operation and meanwhile karzarul and leonas are both busy having shame

anonymous asked:

i was so excited for the lore drop but the moment Leonas sat in Karzarul's lap my brain just shut off

@themaidenisdeath asked:

oh yes, as we all know, "all business" and "taciturn" are the first words that come to mind when we think of Minnow. It reminded me of when she met Karzarul and he told her she was particularly chatty for hero. Sorry Kavid, you're just neither a Sweet, Considerate Monster with a Dick of Steel And Tentacles To Match™ nor a Twink Prince With Silky Hair, Dom Tendencies And Weird Dietary Beliefs™

@halfdeadfriedrice asked:

"what Hero business?" / "I'm the Hero. All my business is Hero business." You tell em Minnow! And then it turns out to be Quest relevant after all; all business is Hero business Also kavid's last night's makeup and messy convertible couch covered in laundry with half-empty wine bottles on the floor is THEE most visually resonant, I feel like I am visiting a college friend

leonas got very lucky that there weren't any cigarette butts floating in that wine because in his mood he might have just drank it anyway

#original #astielleblogging #writeblogging #astielle spoilers

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