#I will literally be demanding his Oscar until the day I die

[sunnibits]

friendly reminder that the ninth doctor and rose tyler literally invented love in 2005 when the doctor said “I could save the world but lose you” in s1ep5 of doctor who. not a joke btw just a statement of fact!

[good-rwbyaus]

Destiny - [ Epilogue : Oscar ] - mod lilac:

[ Part 1: Pyrrha ] [ Part 2: Jaune ]

Oscar visits the final resting place of Pyrrha and Jaune.

// An epilogue for Destiny. It’s more or less a monologue from Oscar, but it’s been demanding to be written for weeks now before I move onto another project. I hope you enjoy the final piece.

=============================================

Dark stormy clouds hovered over the Emerald Forest, a torrent of rain spilling into the trees. A green-clad figure slogged slowly though the grounds, heading for a specific destination. Guilt shone on his face. 

----

Shielded from the storm outside, a pair of angel statues carved in marble stood in the small shrine. On the altar was a small picture frame where a young knightly blond and a young amazon-like redhead grinned into the camera.

“Sorry I’m late, Jaune,” Oscar said quietly as he wiped the droplets from his hair. 

“Ahh, sorry. Forgot to introduce myself,” Oscar chuckled apologetically, “I’m Oscar Pine, Miss Nikos. And there might still be a little bit of Ozpin left in here, but...” He grinned before sighing, “it’s probably just me now.”

“I sorta know you because I have Ozpin’s memories, but I wish I could’ve met you,” Oscar said with a smile, “I wanted to see the person who my best friend admired so much.”

“As for you, Jaune, we need no introductions,” he smiled, a hint of pain in the gesture. His gaze locked onto the grave with Jaune’s name on it before turning his head to stare at the forest around him.

“Nora really chose a nice place,” Oscar admired, “I guess it’s true what they say, a quest ends at its beginning - suppose that must be doubly true for a knight.” He brushed off some dirt from the grass before he sat down cross-legged. Giving the scenery one last lookover, he smiled mischievously, “From what I recall from Ozpin’s memories though, you probably didn’t enjoy your experience here at the time.”

“Whooosh.” He swung his hand dramatically towards the ceiling. 

“Haha,” he smiled, “I guess you’re tired of me embarrassing you in front of your significant other, even though she probably knows all this given she nailed you to the tree that your grave’s leaning on.” 

“You probably already heard it from everybody else, so I’ll just go over the highpoints,” Oscar continued as he grinned. “We won. We beat Salem.”

“All of us lived for the most part,” Oscar paused before shaking his head, “Not to say any of us died. It’s just - well it’s complicated. Lemme give you the good news first.”

“Nora and Ren got married. They’re expecting a child anytime soon,” Oscar clapped in excitement, “And asked the doctors not to tell them the gender. They want it to be a surprise.”

“Yang and Blake are going to get married too. At least after their dads get the testosterone out of their system. I think they secretly enjoy arguing about how “your daughter isn’t good enough for mine” and boisterously telling embarrassing stories in front of their kids. Yang’s threatening to elope, and Blake’s mom is encouraging her.”

“Unc- I mean, Qr-. You know what I’m going to call him Uncle Qrow, “ Oscar said, “He’s family to everyone. He probably kept us from falling apart after you died. Told us not to blame ourselves. You brought Cinder down with you because you loved us all. You did what you did, just as we would’ve done for you.”

He sniffled.

“Ah, sorry. I...Let’s just wait. I’ll tell you the reason why I came here later. Let’s just enjoy this moment.” A pained smile lingered on his lips, “Anyway...”

“Qrow gave us the choice to leave the group with no questions asked- he felt it was the right thing to do after what happened. You fought to keep us safe; it’s only right that we were given that choice.”

“No one took him up on his offer,” he smiled with a bit of pride.

“A bit of unpleasantness did happen after we used the Relic of Knowledge,” Oscar rubbed his cheek, “But it’s all water under the bridge now.”

“Glynda is now the Headmistress of Beacon. Well, will be once all the rubble is cleaned up. She and James are an item now. Haha. That’s one unlikely couple right there. They’ll argue until their voices become hoarse and their faces turn red, but if someone insults one of them within earshot of the other... Well, some soldier made the mistake of trying to kiss up to James by insulting Glynda. And now he’s probably still running laps around Mantle.”

The smile on his face slowly turned into a grimace, the guilt that’d been weighing him down returning once more.

“I....I admit that I came here not just to catch you up on things,” Oscar hesitatingly said. His hand waved, and four items, glowing ethereally with power, flickered into existence in front of him.

Lamp, Crown, Staff, Sword.

Knowledge, Choice, Creation, Destruction.

“It’s funny. Everyone thought they disappeared after Ruby came back to life,” he whispered as he watched the Relics revolve around him, “She sacrificed herself to save the people of Mantle and Atlas - when our fight between Salem and her forces dropped Atlas out of the sky.” 

“Even with the knowledge that she would die using the combined power of the Relics, she still chose her own destruction so that others may live. Thus, the most mysterious of the relics - Creation - returned her to us.”

“Not many people realized that a goddess descended that day. Only Salem and I knew, for we were the only ones who’ve ever been in the presence of a god. 

“When Ruby spoke after becoming a goddess, her words became edict. And with a single utterance, she vanquished Salem. Begone,” he said, eyes glazed in remembrance of that moment, “One word, nothing else. Time stopped for everyone but a goddess, myself, and a disintegrating Salem trying to resist her fate.”

“...Salem really hated Ozma. It’s what kept her alive all this time,” Oscar sighed, “Magic and spells fade, even those cast by a god.”

“The immortality given to Salem was never meant to last,” he said softly, “But when the God of Light gave Ozma his orders, I don’t think the God realized how much it would make Salem hate the man to the point where she would literally defy death to ruin everything Ozma wanted to protect.”

“I don’t quite know what Ruby did to separate Ozpin from me, but the last thing I remember was Ozpin’s shade walking over to Salem. I remember bits of yelling and crying, but after the man left my head, I think I was frozen in time like the rest. No longer god-touched, I guess. By the time we all came to, both Ozpin and Salem were turning into motes of light.”

“Despite how much misery Salem gave us, I hope she found peace. Ozma too,” he sighed.

“As for Ruby, she’s been off since that day. Though she no longer has that divine power, she seems more ethereal, more disconnected from the world,” Oscar sighed, “As if she’d leave us at any time. Disappear and vanish.”

Oscar then chuckled, “luckily, we have two dorks Weiss and Penny, originally at odds with each other for taking up too much of Ruby’s attention, now working together to keep Ruby grounded...so I think Ruby will be okay.”

“Oh yeah, Penny never actually died, Pyrrha. They were able to put her core - the essence of her soul - into a new body, so I hope you rest more peacefully knowing that.” 

“In any case, everyone’s doing okay... but you two.”

He slouched over, palming his face. “Ugh, sorry. I guess I keep on delaying the inevitable. I’ll tell you why I’m here right now.”

“After the Relics found their way over to me, I wondered... if the Relics could produce a God, could it turn back time to save you? So I asked the Relic of Knowledge...”

“And Jinn said yes. That the Relics could send back a single soul without their future memories or skills - only a faint impression without any details, just a whisper of destiny - back to a very specific point in time, a couple hours before the Fall of Beacon.”

“After getting over my shock, I naturally asked about a future where you lived,” Oscar looked away from Jaune’s grave, “and that future was bleak. In the past I saw through Jinn, we went after the Relic of Creation after Knowledge. And as a result, Atlas fell upon Mantle and destroyed the entire Kingdom. Out of hundreds of thousands of people, only we and the rest of the team survived, and it was only because of Raven’s aid.”

“It was completely different from what actually happened to us. After you sacrificed yourself to kill Cinder, you caused Emerald to become the Fall Maiden. And somehow that caused me to get kidnapped by Mercury, allowing me to convince them both that staying with Salem will only lead to more pain for both of them - and they left her for us. Learning Salem’s future plans through Emerald, we went after the Relic of Destruction in Vacuo instead and then returned to the Emerald Forest with all the chess pieces to obtain the Relic of Choice - And then we had our showdown at Atlas.”

Oscar uneasily shifted his foot on the ground, now completely unable to look at the grave in front of him, “I’m not sure how it dawned on me to ask my last question. Maybe it’s because Jinn only showed me a future instead of the numerous possibilities it should’ve been, but...”

“I asked if I turned back the clock before.”

“And Jinn said I did.”

“I think,” Oscar hesitated before continuing, “I must’ve sent you back after almost everyone died beating Salem in the past Jinn showed. I don’t think it could’ve been anyone else because only you acted differently compared to how events should’ve turned out - so...”

“I'm the one responsible for your death, Jaune,” he choked out, “Even if it wasn’t actually me; I still can’t help but feel that way, so I’m trying to figure out if you would want me to right my wrong or be content with the future you’ve sacrificed yourself for.”

“Would you resent me if I tried? To undo everything you’ve strived to do. Or would you resent me if I left you for dead - to not even try?”

“I admit I don’t think I could do any better - I know I probably should be content, but not knowing hurts. You are literally my best friend - a brother. So please..."

“Just give me a sign.”

He bowed his head down, tears falling - conflicted between his sense of duty to the world he lived and his deepest bond of friendship.

Oscar paused as he heard something - or rather the absent of something. The torrent of rain that’s been present had slowed to a stop. Gazing outside, Oscar gasped quietly as he watched the shadows from the overhead clouds quickly giving way to rays of sunlight. 

Running outside, the green-clad boy got to witness the dark clouds visibly fade into the blues of the sky, leaving only sunlight and the beauty of the Emerald Forest behind. 

Feeling the warmth of the sun on his face, Oscar whispered quietly, “Is this... your answer?”

He heard no response, but something in his heart settled in that moment. A sense of peace. Like he’d been forgiven. That he need not carry his burden any longer.

Oscar turned back to the shrine and smiled gratefully.

“...Thank you. I’ll make sure to make the most of the future you’ve let us have. 

“Both of you can rest easy. I’ll be the one to protect everyone now.”

“We’ll see you when our time comes.”

[darkgeminisworld]

This is gonna be a rant about a probably toxic friend so if you don't wanna read it, this is a heads up.

Okay so for several reasons, most of them being that I need to move on, I decided to write this lengthy rant about a friend I'm pretty sure will not be a friend of mine for much longer, which sucks bc he's almost my only irl friend but also feels good bc he's exhausting and I'm pretty sure he's also toxic.

I've met this guy like 6 and a half years ago, and we pretty much bonded over shared interests pretty fast. The first thing that bothered me was that he'd always be late, which would be absolutely fine if he'd been honest about it. But writing that it's five minutes until he's there and then showing up 30 minutes after that, or writing "I'm on your doorstep" and taking another ten minutes to show up, almost every single time, isn't, especially since I strained to be on time the first months (meaning I'd be too early bc my brain only does too early or too late, nothing in between). And his being late wasn't just 20 or 30 minutes, several times he was over an hour late. Oh, and once when we had agreed to meet he legit wasn't home and I waited around 2 hours, which I really should have held a grudge for back then and been way more pissed at him.

The second thing that bothered me was that he was way too nosy. He'd ask if I'm free to meet and play video games or whatever and whenever I said no he'd ask what I'm doing and if I can't manage my time another way to make time for him. And the thing is, not only did I not ask several times after he told me that he's busy that day, but I actively told him, several times over the course of about the last two years, that it bothers me and asked him to tone it down. My problem here is only that he didn't stop after I asked him to, bc before I told him and asked him, how was he supposed to know.

Coming out to him went well, though he did ask me whether I'm into him, which... No. Obviously it could've gone a lot worse, but still.

The next is more a small annoyance, a small itch, although it might have been a warning sign. He couldn't handle defeat very well. In most video games he was better, but he low-key aggressively denied it when I pointed out the win-lose ratio in my all-time favourite video game series and he'd try to cheat at other games. If it was only about him being competitive I'd understand, but that doesn't mean trying to rewrite the past by blatantly lying about it and ridiculing me for pointing out that that's bullshit, especially since it's only games, played for the fun of it.

We also went to the cinema sometimes, though if it had been up to him it'd have been way more often and that's another point where he really didn't let it go after getting a no. Whether he wanted to watch a horror movie after being told, several times, that I really don't like horror movies, or just the general question of whether we'd be going to the cinema, he'd ask again and ask what I'm doing, why did I not want to go, would another time be good, couldn't I ask my parents for money (which, to be fair, I could have. But I preferred not to bc back then it was really stressful bc we had to move and renovate and I just didn't wanna add more frustration if that makes sense? Plus I wanted to get my hands on some things, which required to save up) etc. Almost every time we did end up going, it was he who initiated it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I wanted to see some of the movies just as badly as he did, but... And if he can't even accept "no" from a friend of several years (also a 100% guy friend as far as he is aware bc I didn't start to address gender issues with him), I'm worried about other contexts with that word. Also we did some kind of text role play (just texting back and forth with OCs inserted into several fantasy works like the Inheritance Cycle, who would parttake in the storyline, no set rulebook or anything) and his characters did some questionable and even outright deplorable things and when I wanted his character to suffer consequences, he always wanted him to get away with it. Like, his idea for one of his characters "pranking" mine in reaction to a prank which in itself was a retaliation to his character's pranks was kidnapping and waterboarding my character. And he kept defending it as a prank and demanded that my character should just forgive his character, like... It really made (and continues to make) me wonder and worry just how much of his darker thoughts I don't know about. And I don't know how accurate it is but I once saw a post with a quote that went along the lines of "man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." (btw I couldn't think of a satisfactory way to phrase it so I ended up looking up the quote and apparently it's from Oscar Wilde)

So I spent a fair amount of time arguing with him over that and trying to explain to the best of my ability why it was wrong, and for some time it went better.

Fast forward a few months to the blm protests or more specifically news coverage of it and info I sent him. He defended cops and blamed the protestors and even justified the atrocities of the cops, so that was the first instance where we had a huge fight. I practically drowned him in links and videos etc and some weeks into that I thought I'd managed to get through to him (Spoiler: I didn't really get through to him) so I kept it in mind but continued to have contact with him and everything (bc at the time I didn't know that I didn't really get through as much as I thought).

From there on it pretty much went downhill. We had been thinking about doing a trip to London for a few days (his idea but at the time I really wanted to go, it was around 2 years ago when I still practically worshipped that one author, she who must not be named) and to this very day he's not letting it go completely. Even though the pandemic puts lots of obstacles in the way and I have more important things to worry about, namely final exams and applications. Even though London is expensive as shit and I still have no way to earn money atm. And about the vacation, I finally canceled last summer (and gave the aforementioned reasons) and he completely lost his shit and got super aggressive, insulted me and tried to guilt-trip me into taking that back and agreeing to still go on that vacation with him. Then we got into another fight where he wanted me to cancel the vacation with my grandparents, which was already planned and booked and everything in order to make time for the vacation I'd already said I don't want to go on with him anymore and aggressively demanded (he didn't ask, he sent a demand and bombarded me with exclamation marks) to know when exactly I'd be going on vacation with them. Then he went offline after I refused and ignored the next few messages I sent him and only replied when I asked "what I'd I reconsidered my stance on the trip?". I mean, baiting him with that definitely was shitty of me, but the result showed that that was basically what he wanted, pressure me into still going on that vacation. That specific conflict had been going on for weeks, bc despite me telling him that it's counterproductive and detrimental to my mental health to increase the pressure and therefore my anxiety about getting a job to pay for the trip, he kept pressuring me while acknowledging that he's giving me lots of pressure and anxiety and even using that against me.

He also didn't acknowledge that most times we try to meet, he goes offline for hours before replying and disappearing again. That would be absolutely fine if he didn't accuse me of doing that, which btw is his standard technique and it took me a long time to realize that. He always tries to shift the blame to make me look like the one at fault, and he always, always demands that I apologize when we had a fight via WhatsApp.

And when I started enforcing my boundaries and telling him to stop asking again and again why I can't meet, what I'm doing, or demanding other explanations, he started to attack me for the kind of language I use, so when I'm ever so slightly sarcastic he immediately latches onto that and creates a new conflict.

But this still isn't all, oh no. He's also basically an ecofascist, and is fully okay with sacrificing social justice to save the environment, completely choosing to ignore that the people he's protecting are the ones at fault and that the ppl who contribute the least are the ones experiencing the hardest ecological consequences.

He's said multiple times that he thinks both sides are equally bad, in the context of left and right in general as well as antifascism and fascism and that he doesn't "condone the oppressed defending themselves with any means necessary" bc that, too, would include violence. He's defending the "right to free speech" even when right-wingers say really disgusting shit, he disagrees with prohibiting demonstrations of ppl who think that Corona is a hoax, he has zero empathy for ppl who are affected, who suffer long-term consequences from infections, not even for ppl who die from it (he literally said "people die anyway, that doesn't justify imprisoning everyone else") and somehow still thinks he has the moral high ground.

And the last bit he did was explaining to me, from his endocisallohet white guy perspective, how I'm "not discriminated against" bc gay ppl in my country can get married (only since 2017 btw) and when I, despite the fact that I shouldn't have had to and that it was a real blow to my mental health, wrote him a message that was almost the length of an essay, he calmly started to question my replies with the detachedness of someone who's discussing whether pineapple belongs on pizza and demanding further explanation. To top it off, he said that marginalized ppl have to always reply to everyone calmly and politely, no matter if it was offensive bc the person asking might be unaware of that. Otherwise, he said, everyone would be right to stop listening to us. Like, he literally said that we don't deserve human rights if we're not licking the boots of our oppressors if that way of thinking is followed through to the end.

I almost forgot, he also thinks that white ppl should have a say in whether something is a racist slur, or whether something is racist in general (we're both white, but at least I'm trying my best to unlearn what my upbringing taught me instead of being the cliché of the white person who goes "how dare you call me racist, I've never been more insulted in my whole life!", which is basically his reaction)

So up until this last fight, I conceded some ground to him to end the fights and keep him as a "friend" not only bc I feel horrible when I imagine losing one of my only irl friends but also bc I was hoping I could get through to him and educate him, to the best of my ability, on how to be a good ally to marginalized people. But the disregard with which he treats my explanations why the way he talked (wrote) about marginalized people is absolutely not okay and the fact that he just told me that he genuinely doesn't see how he did anything wrong even after I explained it to him in detail is just too much to bear at this point.

Oh, and while looking through the chat to prove him a liar I found that apparently, to him a promise is a promise, no matter whether it was given under pressure or voluntarily, so do with that what you will.

[hms-chill]

RWRB Study Guide: Chapter 7

Hi y’all! I’m going through Casey McQuiston’s Red, White & Royal Blue and defining/explaining references! Feel free to follow along, or block the tag #rwrbStudyGuide if you’re not interested!

Crêpe-eating tourists (157): Crepes are a thin, flat pancake traditionally filled with sugar, but commonly filled with other toppings. They are an iconic French dish and are popular with tourists both for this reason and because they are typically inexpensive.

Place du Tertre (157): A square in Paris, it is in the Montmarte district, which is known for its art history.

Crusty baguettes (157): Baguettes are a French bread that is meant to be crusty on the outside and soft on the inside.

Le Monde (158): The most popular French newspaper.

Fromagerie Nicole Barthélémy (158): A famously wonderful cheese shop in Paris.

Parisian cheese shop (158): French cheese are known for being fancy and especially good.

Pisces (159): A zodiac sign known for being compassionate, artistic, and intuitive. (more)

NYU (159): New York University.

The Met (159): The Metropolitan Museum of Art, a famous art museum in New York.

Joanne (160): JK Rowling, who wrote the Harry Potter books, and has been pretty consistently homophobic and transphobic on twitter. 

Freddie Mercury (161): Lead singer of the band Queen, Mercury never officially came out, but he had long-term relationships with both men and women and was known for his camp performances, and there are claims that he was “openly gay”. His flamboyance and camp performances, as well as his relationship with partner Jim Hutton, essentially demanded that people simply take him as he was. He died of complications from AIDS in 1991, one day after admitting openly that he had been diagnosed four years earlier. (More)

For context within the book, he wrote “Don’t Stop Me Now”

Elton John (161): A famous British musician. He came out as bisexual in 1976, then as gay in 1992. He and his husband, David Furnish, became civil partners in 2005, the day they became legal in the UK. They were officially married on the ninth anniversary of their civil partnership, the year that gay marriage was legalized within the UK. (More)

Bowie (161): David Bowie, who was a bi British musician and actor who, in 1976, described his bisexuality as “the best thing that ever happened to me”. His wife (who was also bi, and with whom he often shared partners) claimed that he had a relationship with Mick Jagger, though his bisexuality has been consistently erased, both during his life and since his death. (More)

Again for book context, Henry’s dog is named for David Bowie

Jagger (161): Mick Jagger, an English singer/songwriter and member of the Rolling Stones, known for his promiscuity. As mentioned above, he and Bowie pretty clearly had a relationship, though his Wikipedia makes no mention of queerness. (More)

Oakley Street (161): A street that runs through an affluent borough of London.

Stonewall (161): The Stonewall Inn in New York City is a gay bar. The riots against police brutality there in July of 1969 are heralded as the beginning of the gay rights movement.

SCOTUS decision in 2015 (161): The Supreme Court ruling that legalized gay marriage across the US.

Walt Whitman (161): An American poet who wanted to become The American Poet and saw himself as the quintessential American. His poetry often deals with his queerness, and he absolutely slept with Oscar Wilde in the late 1800s. 

Fun fact; he is celebrated in the movie The Dead Poets Society, which is incredibly popular with Sad Gay English Majors and which Henry would definitely have seen.

Laws of Illinois 1961 (161): In 1961, Illinois became the first state in the US to repeal its sodomy laws.

White Night Riot (161): A series of riots in San Francisco protesting the lenient sentencing of the man who killed Harvey Milk, the first openly queer politician. The riots were the most violent queer uprising since the events at the Stonewall.

Paris is Burning (161): A 1990s movie celebrating drag ball culture in New York. It celebrates in particular queer communities of color in the late 1980s, when the AIDS epidemic was at its peak.

“If I die of AIDS...” (161): This is a real photo; you can find it here. The man’s jacket could refer to a form of protest called “die-ins”, where people with AIDS would go to a homophobic politician’s office or another public place where they were refused treatment and simply not leave until after they died. (see it here)

Chop my own tit off (162): Fun mythology fact; the Amazons (warrior women from Greek mythology) actually did this to make themselves better archers.

H fucking W (162): George HW Bush, a former US president.

George (163): George Villers was the boyfriend of King James the I/VI, and Prince George, Duke of Kent, was rumored to be in a polyamorous relationship in the 1920s. 

Edward (162): Edward II was a famously gay king. He was may have been "wedded brothers" with Piers Gaveston and may have also had a relationship with Hugh le Despenser the younger following Gaveston's death. (More)

James (162): The British king known for translating the Bible and being just... indescribably gay and very deeply horny. He promoted his boyfriend, George Villers, to the highest non-royal position in the UK within a few years of starting to date him. James’s friends actively tried to set him up with hot guys for their own political gain.

Alexander (163): Alexander Hamilton was an incredibly bi founding father. He’s remembered for founding our current national banking system, having the first ever American sex scandal, and for literally never shutting up or knowing how to stop being A Lot All The Time. 

Catalina (164): Catalina is an island near Los Angeles. On a more meta level, St. Catalina was a respected writer.

June (164): June Carter Cash was an American singer/songwriter/director/comedian.

Tricky Dick (164): Richard Nixon, a president remembered for wiretapping his opponent.

Taft (165): 27th president of the United States.

Eisenhower (165): 34th president of the US.

Baby (166): this is what Henry’s mom calls him; I wrote a thing about it here.

Daily Mail (166): A trashy British tabloid.

Lollapalooza (167): A music festival in Chicago known for setting fashion trends and having lots of drugs.

Joni Mitchell (167): A singer/songwriter known for her innovative use of the guitar, including unique tunings, chords, and a unique fingerpicking/strumming style. (Listen here)

Cocaine (168): A highly addictive drug. It is snorted, smoked, or injected, and while it makes people feel more confident or forget their problems, the highs from it last only up to about 30 minutes, which often drives people to take it more frequently. Side effects (aside from addiction) include a loss of appetite, irritability, and increased mental health issues. 

Spitfire (168): Someone with a quick temper or willingness to fight.

High as a kite (169): Someone who’s “high as a kite” is on a lot of drugs and is still enjoying the high.

Clean (169): Drug/alcohol free.

Stiff upper lip (170): Ability to seem determined or hold it together in the face of hard times.

A levels (170): A UK test taken for admittance to college, similar to the ACT/SAT in the US

Henry V at RSC (171): Henry V is a Shakespearean history play about the life of Henry V, especially focused on the events of the Hundred Years’ War. RSC, or the Royal Shakespeare Company, is a Shakespeare theater company in London.

Travis County (171): The Texan county where Austin is located.

Surfside (171): A beach in Texas.

Adderall (172): A prescription drug taken for ADHD but commonly abused by students to help them stay awake for all-nighters or focused for unhealthily long study sessions. However, given McQuinston’s claim that Alex has undiagnosed ADHD, it likely helped him to be able to focus and helped his brain work the way it was expected to.

Almond milk (vs. dairy) (173): Texas has a huge dairy industry, and almond milk is not great for the environment.

The Gun File (173): American gun law is so deeply broken.

WASPy Hunter’s Harvard pencil cup (175): Harvard is a prestigious college in Boston; it has a reputation for being mostly rich white folks.

Iron curtains of gerrymandering (175): Gerrymandering is a form of drawing lines for voting districts to disenfranchise marginalized voters. It is a form of skewing elections to keep power in the hands of the powerful that divides marginalized votes, making people of color or poor folks the minority in their districts, therefore erasing their votes on a broader scale.

Vision-boarding his funeral (175): a vision board is typically made to inspire someone to pursue a goal.

Parks & Recreation (175): A popular American sit-com focused on the parks and recreation department in a small town in Indiana. 

Leslie Knope (176): a Parks & Rec character. One of her defining traits is an aggressive, overwhelming love for the people in her life.

Mid-century rug (177): Mid-century furniture and style is characterized by lots of color and playful patterns (following the more reserved WWII period in the 1940s); it is rising in popularity again as a classy yet fashionable look.

J14 (178): A teen fashion/celebrity magazine.

Sacramento Bee (178): The largest newspaper in Sacramento, CA.

Southerness (180): In positive lights, the American South is known for its genuine, warm, unselfish hospitality.

Jane Austen my life (180): Jane Austen is a British author whose novels star lower/middle class women who fall in love with rich men. They typically try to avoid these men for large portions of the book, or at least have rather negative feelings about them due to a misunderstanding or other failure to communicate.

LSAT (181): the test taken for admittance to law school.

Carmarthenshire (183): A largely agricultural county in South Wales. As a tourist destination, it is known for its wide range of outdoor activities.

Llwynywermod (184): A royal estate in Carmarthenshire, the biggest building of which is a renovated three-bedroom farmhouse. It is surrounded by the rolling green hills common to south Wales.

Finals (in the US) (185): At US colleges, a semester’s final tests (typically worth up to 30-40% of a final grade) take place the week after classes end.

Stamp on his forehead at The Tombs (185): Tombs is a bar near Georgetown. According to reviews, and “Tombs Night” parties, where students celebrate their 21st birthday and get their foreheads stamped at the end of the night, are a Georgetown tradition.

Jumped in Dalhgren Fountain (185): Dalhgren Fountain is in the center of Georgetown’s campus. Swimming in it is a Georgetown tradition.

Summa cum laude (186): “with greatest honor”.

Ceviche (186): A seafood dish native to Peru that spread to Mexico, where it contains lime, avocado, chili peppers, onions, and cilantro.

Palm Room (187): The gateway to the West Wing, the area of the White House where most politics happen.

Hoe Dameron (190): A reference to Star Wars character Poe Dameron, a rebel pilot and the first Latino main character in the series.

Prince Buttercup (190): Princess Buttercup is the heroine/love interest in The Princess Bride, 

West Hollywood (190): One of the most prominent gay neighborhoods in the US.

“Call Me” (191): The most popular song of 1980; it was originally written for the film American Gigolo and inspired by the film’s opening sequence of a character driving along the coast of California. (Listen here)

“So Emotional” (191): An absolute bop about enjoying being in love. (Listen here)

“Don’t Stop Me Now” (193): A Queen song where Mercury sings to both a man and a woman; it’s a huge bop. (Listen here)

In-N-Out (194): A fast food restaurant/burger chain native to California and unavailable in other states.

Animal style (195): Animal style burgers are an In-N-Out staple; it includes the typical burger toppings, along with mustard fried into the patty, pickles, onions, and extra spread.

French-fries-dipped-in-milkshake (195): a truly god-tier American dessert tradition.

“O captain, my captain” (196): A reference both to the idea of a lacrosse team captain and to Whitman’s poem, “O Captain, My Captain” (as mentioned above, Whitman was a deeply gay American poet).

Burberry (200): A posh British brand of clothing known for its classy, traditional pieces.

Cats that caught the canaries (200): A cat that caught a canary is a person who looks smug or satisfied.

Mother hen (201): A “mom friend” or someone who will do everything they can to look out for people they care about, sometimes to the point of it being annoying.

—-

If there’s anything I missed or that you’d like more on, please let me know! And if you’d like to/are able, please consider buying me a ko-fi? I know not everyone can, and that’s fine, but these things take a lot of time/work and I’d really appreciate it!

—–

Chapter 1 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 8 

[nightcoremoon]

ok so let's talk twilight. girl meets vampire. girl falls in love with vampire. vampire falls in love with girl. girl and vampire start dating. evil vampire wants to eat girl. vampire kills evil vampire.

new moon. vampire leaves girl. girl gets depressed. girl rebounds with werewolf. werewolf wants to fuck girl. werewolf realizes he's the rebound. werewolf leaves girl. girl seemingly attempts suicide. vampire learns about this and attempts suicide. girl goes to tell him she's not dead. vampire king gives a warning.

eclipse. vampire and girl are back together. evil vampire girlfriend wants revenge. evil vampire girlfriend makes evil vampire army. vampires and werewolves kill evil vampire and army. vampire king gives another warning. vampire marries girl.

breaking dawn. vampire and girl get married. and fuck. girl gets pregnant. baby will kill girl. but abortion is ~evil~. girl dies and gets turned into vampire. werewolf wants to fuck the baby vampire. vampire king shows up to kill the baby. it was a big misunderstanding lol. happily ever after except for the people who died.

that's the gist of things for anyone who doesn't remember.

ok so there's two groups of people. team edward, people who are satisfied with the canon. team jacob, people who say "fuck that, girl should be with werewolf instead". and many people on team jacob proceed to say that team edward all condone pedophilia and stalking and other terrible things. fandom wars happened. and in the end, most people moved on.

...

but not me.

now, I wasn't an obsessed super fan. I thought the first book was boring as shit until the second half. it took me a month to read the first half and three days to read the second half. I read the entire second in literally one day. the entire third in like 3 days. and the entire fourth in like 5. I watched all the movies in theaters. but none of this was by choice. my mom and my several sisters basically made me, but it was okay I guess. personally my fandom progression started with final fantasy 12. it moved into eragon, death note, jak and daxter, avatar the last airbender, invader zim, tales of symphonia, a dash of harry potter, sly cooper, my little pony friendship is magic, dead space, red vs blue, twokinds, resident evil, etc. I'm not in the twilight fandom by choice, but I know all the lore and trivia so fuck it. I might as well be.

I'm team edward.

I know what you're thinking. "but he's 100 years old trying to fuck a teenager! he watched her sleep! he almost killed her drinking her blood! he made her suicidal and depressed! he was super jealous and possessive whenever jacob was around! he broke her bones when they had sex! he impregated her with a monster baby that killed her! HE IS TEH EVILEST EVAR!!1"

let's take this one piece at a time.

1- he didn't try to fuck her. she tried to fuck him. but he said not until she's a full grown adult capable of making her own decisions, and not until marriage ~because premarital sex is wrong~

2- yeah watching her sleep was a little creepy but we can attribute that to stephenie meyer thought it was romantic because she's a dumb white mormon cultist

3- he is a VAMPIRE, and not by choice. and it was either suck the poison out of bella or let her become a vampire. which he didn't want to happen because ~being a vampire sucks 🥁~ so yeah he saved her life. and he managed to not drain her dry and kill her even though her blood is so goddamn delicious because she's a fucking mary sue

4- he didn't make her suicidal and depressed by leaving the country so she didn't get in any life threatening situations like being around jasper who has the self control of a fat kid in a twinkie factory. bella just took the breakup really really badly, and if someone reacts badly to a breakup, it's on THEM, not the other person. saying any differently is, what's the word, toxic and clingy. her emotional instability for plot is just indicative of the author's inherent misogyny (which makes sense, as dumbass mormon cultists are rife with the stuff)

5- he was not jealous and possessive. JACOB was the one who was toxic, since "that cold one will TAKE MY BELLA AWAY FROM ME". jacob wanted bella for himself because he had a crush on her since they were kids, and it was a super unhealthy obsession. edward could read his thoughts and was pissed; consider his backstory in hearing potential rapists' thoughts and killing them. but edward couldn't kill jacob because he was bella's friend. nothing more, though, and jacob fumed in his nice guy fedora

6- again, edward is a VAMPIRE, and a horny bastard at that, because he is a gentleman and therefore probably was a virgin too. he even told bella countless times that it would happen but bella thought it was #WORTH to get some of that hot vampire dick. I guess she's into some super kinky shit. no wonder 50 shades of grey made sense as a twilight fanfiction. anyway, bella seems to have fully consented, otherwise she's the world's most unreliable narrator.

7- the monster baby plot arc was propaganda against female bodily autonomy because "teh babby haz a SOUL and abortion is MURDER even tho she'll LITERALLY DIE otherwise but hey backwoods redneck mormon values are more important than the lives of women, right? anyway, ironically enough, he respected her bodily autonomy by not fixing the mistake he didn't think could happen (uterus vampires can't get pregnant but dick vampires can get other people pregnant? NANI, THE FUCK???) because bella didn't consent to him killing the fetus that was literally breaking her bones from inside since ~abortion is wrooOOoong~

and now, counterpoint.

...and counter-counterpoint.

"edward groomed bella" edward's main focus when she was 16 was to not kill her and drink the delicious cherry fanta, and his main focus at 17 was to make sure she didn't die and that nobody else killed her and drank her delicious cherry fanta, and only when she was a full ass adult was he like "alright fine you wanna marry me sooooo bad here's ur fuckin diamond ring". yeah they made out but like, consider that a FUCKING MORMON WROTE THIS BOOK. one can't fault a character for the dumbassery of the author. that's why in this house we stan james potter. and besides, a few years ago whilst playing truth or dare I at 21 was dared to kiss a 17 year old and I did- granted I didn't know he was 17 at the time but that doesn't even matter because granted edward was a lot older than 21, but granted that doesn't even matter anyways because you know how many teenage girls would make out with oscar wilde, keanu reeves, chris evans, or danny devito jason momoa if they had the chance? I know I would have. it isn't necessarily sexual unless you want it to be. besides, the argument could be made that brain development stops when you become a vampire, considering their body stops developing too. technically edward had the brain and body of a 17 year old, he was just 17 for a long time. so any way you slice it, there are acceptable explanations justifying this in the magic fantasy land of what-ifs and JUST BAD WRITING.

we good?

now let's tackle jacob.

he demanded she "choose" him over edward. he was just as childish and petty as mike. oh, poor mike. he was just too dumb. SWM be like. anyway, he literally abandoned her, his friend, because she wouldn't fuck him, when she needed her best friend the most. because that's who jacob was to her. he was her best friend. she kinda ignored him because edward is smexy and it overpowered her tiny teenage girl brain, or at least that's the author's excuse (yay for internalized misogyny). when they were in the mountains and he was keeping her from dying of hypothermia edward literally had to ask him to stop thinking about fucking her. while she was unconscious. which is kinda rapey. and then to top it all off, he wanted to fuck her baby daughter. so jacob is literally every single thing people called edward. he is jealous, possessive, creepy, obsessed with bella, and a whole bunch of other stereotypes associated with brown skinned man wanting to fuck white skinned women.

...

...

...

oh dear god.

wow I can't believe that the white woman who took an existing native american tribe and rewrote their culture to fit her vampire love story for white girls to have a sexy ~exotic~ savage feral werewolf boy in the love triangle turned out to be a racist all along.

so ideally, jacob would be the ideal partner for bella. lore-wise as well. bella and jacob grow old together in their plain regular normal human lives (and hopefully bella's face doesn't get clawed off like sam and leah BIG OOF FOR THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE), edward and tanya get married like they were supposed to do all along and gallivant off and do vampire things, all that jazz. edward isn't creepy and weird, bella isn't a magic mary sue with a magic fucking jean grey mind shield, jacob isnt an asshole.

but after reading the books and the evidence provided, I cannot in good conscience be team jacob over team edward.

thank you for your time.

fuck stephenie meyer.

and fuck all the dudebros who dog on girls for liking twilight anyways, as if dudebros don't watch and consume shitty media all the time.

[soundofvesper]

Capsized

GOT EP4: my two cents

To begin with, Braime Stans, can you all. Just. Calm. The f*ck down?!

Your talk is so whiny I can’t even.

Yes the writers messed up big time with everyone on that episode, and I do mean everyone, except perhaps Bran and Sandor Clegane, for obvious reasons.

Seven seasons worth of character arc and redemption development and — what?? You actually believe he abandons the purest love he never thought he’d find for the ex “love of his life” now that she’s winning?

Please use your common sense. Valonqar or not, well-meaning!Kingslayer Jaime has never been one to act rashly, especially when it comes to his own family or heart.

The Mother of Dragons literally has nothing to face Cersei with, how is she going to win up against Euron Greyjoy’s fleet and the army she’s bought herself??

Unless. He slinks back into King’s Landing, disguised as the besotted twin brother which he knows to do so well (give the man an Oscar! An Emmy! Something!), SO THAT HE CAN GET CLOSE TO CERSEI AND JUST END IT.

I’ve been reading *essays* about each tiny scrutinised glance between Jaime and Brienne for years, now you’re all abandoning ship and spewing hate? You have to be better than this!

Fight me on this, I’m ready, he didn’t leave Brienne to run back to Cersei’s unwelcoming!open legs (pardon the crudeness), he’s trying to keep the person he loves most safe. And that’s the tea, drink it or choke on it, as you will.

***

Jon

Can we all just take a moment and appreciate his character arc before we start criticising?? From unwanted bastard who doesn’t fit in and wants desperately to do so, to young man off on an adventure away from the only family he’s ever known just so he could be away from all the things he knew he’d never have. Gave his life to the cause. Was brought back regardless of whether he meant to live again and never once complained, just got on with the job of trying to save everyone’s asses. Won everyone’s respect, and I DO MEAN EVERYONE. Even Cersei B*tch Queen of the Iron Throne Lannister knew he’s as solid and honourable as they come. His side, thanks to his efforts, dragons and dagger aside, EFFECTIVELY WON THE WINTER WAR. All the people who swore they’d never be in the same room without killing each other? They were all there supporting HIM. Do you have any idea HOW POWERFUL that is? Has anyone ever seen Jon wield power because he wants it? No. Can we all agree he does it beautifully regardless? No really, say “no” go on, make my day. Does he deserve to be on the Iron Throne? From a simplistic point of view, yeah, him being THE ACTUAL HEIR and all; but does anyone truly believe he’d be suited to that life, when really all he’s ever known is fighting? And I don’t just mean fighting for the Night’s Watch and for Winterfell. And still, people just naturally flock to him, because they know a good man when they see one. And despite all this, he truly believes (albeit naively) that everyone can carry on as they were, knowing the truth, and he can still have that peaceful existence with the love of his life by his side. Everybody is hating on him because he, what? Didn’t pet Ghost after making the best decision for him??? Are you all seriously that childish?? I’d die before I let anything happen to my dog, and Jon has gotten really good at saying goodbye to the things he loves most (see above). Take my advice and move past that moment. Not patting Ghost on the head doesn’t mean he discarded him without a second thought, or that he doesn’t love him. Will he be given a dark ending? That remains to be seen. I believe in him, in plain Jon Snow and in Aegon Targaryen. I hope they give him the life he’s always wanted, and not the heaviest burden of all; wearing the crown of the Protector of the Realm.

***

Dany

A LOT of people have been fighting over her increasingly, and it just makes me shake my head, because yes she’s being portrayed all wrong. But can we just take a moment and analyse the following:

Yes she was a good little girl who only felt it was her burden to liberate all people and take her throne back because she’s always wanted to go home, home to a place she’s never known and has only ever heard stories and songs about. After seven seasons of betrayals, attempts on her life, of being sold into marriage!slavery and losing it all only to get back up and tell the world “no, THIS is who I am”, do you honestly believe she knows how to be anything else? When have we ever seen her be merciful without annihilation first? Does she ever, ever, talk about defending the North in terms other than “Jon’s War”? And this is a woman who feels entitled to become the one true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms, the North included. All xenophobia aside (and this is the writers’ work, not necessarily the original story — haven’t read the books, correct me if I’m wrong), she’s done nothing but storm in waving her dragons around - pardon, her “CHILDREN” - and demanded that everyone automatically fall over themselves to accept her. The minute she sees how effortlessly people flock to RealKing!/LoveOfHerLife!Jon, she gets ugly. Were you watching her face when Tormund was talking our ears off about his little crow, and how proud he was, dropping the k- word and all? Her face was the UGLIEST thing I’ve ever seen on her in all the seasons. Like, really, is that all she is? Just an empowered woman who’s become a tyrant and needs the love of her life to stay under her boot heel to remain empowered? Apparently, that’s what the writers are going for. Daughter of a mad king? Yeah, she is. Should she go ahead and incinerate half the kingdom in order to sit on smouldering ashes? If that’s what her character development has reduced her to, then I say let her have it. I’m still hoping she’ll realise before it’s too late, and actually take the chance to be happy (though doubtful at this stage.) I believed in her, right up until the moment she set foot on Westeros and started proving us all wrong, and he really isn’t different from the others “she’s just more of the same.” She’s made it clear that love is only second best for her, whereas for Jon it’s everything without abandoning honour, so it’s going to get REAL INTERESTING REAL QUICK, the power play for the future of the Kingdom.

***

Arya

Just this: I can’t believe y’all would actually take her out of character and have her accept Gendry’s proposal for a life she’s NEVER wanted, even before her father died. Have we been watching two different shows or something? She still needs to kill Cersei, and has hinted that life for her will not be at Winterfell, because after all, what is there for her there? A brother she doesn’t truly recognise and still nearly gladly died defending, a sister she’s learned to respect but who doesn’t need assassins roaming around to protect her, a title she’s never wanted, and the beloved one who actually turns out to be her cousin and real heir to the throne. Can we see how this life is not hers? Regardless of whether Gendry can make her happy, she stayed true and that’s beautiful, ok?

THE ENDING: I just hope they do all characters right at this stage (Avengers, anyone?) regardless of who gets to sit on that bloody chair, and everyone gets what they DESERVE even if it’s not what they (or we) want.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Vol. 5 “Welcome to Haven”

This is a re-posting from Oct. 14th, 2017 in an effort to get all my recaps fully on tumblr. Thanks!

The day has arrived! After nearly eight months we finally have a new RWBY episode and I am fully prepared to dive into reviewing it (alongside my recaps of the earlier material). Obvious spoilers ahead for those behind on the series or who don't have a Rooster Teeth account for first access.

To start, I should mention that we also have a Yang short that aired pretty much alongside the new episode, in which Yang is helping Ruby to train in hand-to-hand before she leaves for Beacon. I've heard a lot of complaints about this short already--that Rooster Teeth waited too long to post it, that by focusing on a flashback they're ignoring present!Yang's disability and PTSD--but for all that the short still provides an excellent little glimpse into the sisters' pre-Beacon lives, along with the expected, kick-ass fight scene. This short does raise a number of questions though, or plot holes if we're being uncharitable. Chronologically we know that Ruby is already incredibly strong at this point and has excellent control over her semblance, yet a simple tumble into the grass knocks her out for a number of minutes? I also find it highly suspect that Ruby is that dependent on Crescent Rose to fight--she says herself she's useless against the Grimm without it--yet over the course of the following years she does nothing to better herself in hand-to-hand. Seeing Yang in the jaws of a Grimm should have been a wake up call...but it wasn't. I honestly hope this comes back to haunt Ruby at some point. That she'll get a "You can't rely on Crescent Rose" talking to in the same way Yang got a "You can't rely on your semblance" talk from Tai. Otherwise this short does little to further either sisters' characterization.

Regardless, onto the episode itself. I watched it in my local Starbucks (too impatient to wait until I got home) and just five minutes in a stranger interrupted, apologizing, but asking if this was the new Volume because he was so excited for its premiere. Shockingly, I didn't entirely share his enthusiasm, if only because ever since Volume Three I've feared that RWBY will become too dark for my taste, losing that adorable, humorous spark that initially drew me to it.

I shouldn't have doubted Rooster Teeth. Just as Volume Four opens with happy bickering among the new team RNJR (or is it JNRR?), Volume Five opens with Ruby, Jaune, Nora, Ren, and Qrow making light of their dangerous trip to Haven. "We were fine," Ruby insists, "Only one of us almost died"--with a sly look at Qrow. For me these moments are crucial to the series, as they not only read as authentic (humor is a powerful tool in the face of trauma), but they keep the series from becoming overburdened with angst.

The team's walk through the "scenic route" gives everyone time to recap the basic plot of Volume 4 and then Qrow heaves open doors to reveal our first good look at Haven.

It certainly seems to live up to its name. Interestingly (or simply due to financial/time constraints) Rooster Teeth opted to paint still images of the city's inhabitants with the 'camera' moving across them, rather than actually animating everyone. It works though, giving viewers the feeling that we're looking upon an intricate painting.

Ruby exclaims that "This is amazing!," drools over the weaponry--alright, so not everything has changed--and says that they'll be going "up," literally to Professor Lionheart's office and metaphorically in luck. The narrative uses that moment though to pull up until we reach Weiss' airship, still in the process of escaping her father. Though Weiss isn't given much time in the premiere, this short scene showcases her rapid character development. Where once she might have snubbed her nose at being stuck with an 'underling,' now Weiss speaks openly and respectfully to her pilot, admitting that she doesn't want to be a burden to anyone.

It's during this admission that they pick up a distress signal from another ship, one being attacked by Grimm. Weiss of course wants to stop and help, but the pilot reminds her that they're trying to keep a low profile and if they picked up the call, someone else will have too. They keep going and I'm left a little on the fence about this decision. The pilot's logic is sound, but there's also the issue of the bystander effect--we don't actually know if Weiss left those people to die or not. It's a moment that emphasizes that there are no good choices in war.

Then again, for all we know Episode Two might pick up on the airship, with Weiss demanding that they turn back. We'll have to see.

Back in Haven, Ruby wipes a tear away upon reaching their destination. Jokes aside, they've been through so much to get there and it's nice to see some genuine emotion. There's then a rapid change of mood as the group notices just how empty the school is and, with weapons drawn, they kick in Professor Lionheart's door expecting the worst.

...instead all they do is give poor Lionheart a heart attack. He just lost track of time and forgot to meet them out front. Whoops.

Qrow still calls him out on the lack of security and though Lionheart explains it away with a lot of discussion regarding James, the council, and the distribution of Huntsmen/Huntresses in a time of war, his excuses ring a little false. Indeed, by the end of the scene we'll see him speaking to a holographic 'W' on his desk, presumably Arthur Watts, who was briefly in contact with Lionheart in "No Safe Haven." Looks like he's gone full dark side, or at the very least is being blackmailed.

Before that though we learn a LOT about these relics we keep hearing about. Apparently the chamber each relic resides in can only be accessed by their corresponding Maiden--which seems to put a damper on the "Ozpin's cane is a relic" theory. Why have this security measure and then not make use of it? Did Ozpin (as the presumed Wizard) simply think that he was powerful enough to protect it on his own? Despite losing to Cinder? I'm inclined to think not, especially given the cavalier way the cane is handled between Qrow and Oscar. There's no doubt importance to Ozpin's weapon, but I'm no longer 100% convinced that it's a relic. (Even if I’m still headcanoning as such.) 

We also learn each of the Maiden's... themes? Powers? For lack of a better word. Winter is the Maiden of creation, Summer the Maiden of destruction (an uncommon reversal there), Spring is knowledge, and Fall is choice. This puts a whole new dimension on Pyrrha's almost ascension as the Fall Maiden, given the complicated choices involved. Though Ozpin told her firmly not to fight and offered as much free will as a rock and a hard place would allow, a background as both a celebrity and a Huntress ensured that Pyrrha experienced the most pressure to conform and do what's (supposedly) best for others--even at the expense of herself.

Cinder is our latest Fall Maiden. Winter and Summer are still unknown, but Spring apparently skipped out on her duties a decade past...and is now in Raven's hands. What does a bunch of bandits want with a Maiden? We're not sure yet, but Qrow is eager to mount a full attack to get her back. Only Lionheart's (evil and biased) logic keeps him from rushing off. No doubt our team will take things into their own hands once they realize whose thumb Lionheart is under. The essence behind "Damn the council, we'll do it ourselves!" is common in most fantasy/action series. From Harry Potter to Korra we always have that moment when the rag-tag team has to step outside of the bureaucracy and actually get shit done. The trick is continually making sure that the council--or whatever else we’re dealing with--is actually corrupt/in the wrong. 

Elsewhere Blake is dealing with the fallout of her own character short. Things are kept a little murky: Who exactly are these people beyond White Fang members? Who's side is Ilia on? It doesn't seem to matter much. The important bit is that Ilia tells Blake to leave now and she responds with a curt, "You're going to have to make me." So unless Ilia succeeds, it sounds like Blake won't be catching up with the rest of the team anytime soon. A pity.

Yang is also off on her own. I must admit that Rooster Teeth had me fooled. Based on last Volume's conversation with Tai and the fact that Yang's short focuses on how she'll "Always have [Ruby's] back," cutting to her determined expression as she continues driving her motorcycle in the present day, I fully expected Yang to be meeting up with Team RNJR. Instead she's looking for her mom. No doubt though everyone will come together if Qrow and the kids go after Raven themselves. Until then Yang is poised to get info from a sleazy asshole who likes to hit on underage girls.

The episode's climax though is in Oscar's return. We jump "back" to a scene we got at the end of Volume 4, wherein the chronology smooths out to show us when exactly Oscar found Qrow in that bar. "It's good to see you again, Oz" was appropriately heartfelt--and raises more questions about why Qrow of all the inner circle knows so much about Ozpin's power. (A shipper heart can't get too hopeful, can it?) After a cut Oscar shows up on the kids' doorstep, asking for Ruby Rose... and we get more emotional whiplash as that line is reframed not as an, "I know everything" moment but an, "I brought your drunk as a skunk uncle back" moment. Qrow is adorable in this scene, happily wasted as he mutters about how he finally found Ozpin. Ruby's anger that her comic reading time was interrupted dissipates as Oscar freely admits, "You know me as Professor Ozpin."

I'm very glad he came right out and said it. I wasn't looking forward to a whole Volume of wondering when the gang will find out the truth. Perhaps the most fascinating moment though is when Oscar, seemingly instinctually, says to Ruby,

"You have silver eyes."

There are three ways of explaining this line, far as I can tell:

Ozpin tells Oscar to say that. Unlikely. We don't see Oscar pausing or talking to himself, and why be cryptic when they're going to admit who they are two seconds later?

Oscar himself recognizes silver eyes. Possible, even if he is just a farm boy. Perhaps he's heard stories?

Ozpin's knowledge/personality is beginning to become accessible to Oscar. This has been my theory from the start. As I'll discuss more in-depth in my Volume 4 recaps, Ozpin as an entity still exists and presumably this isn't the first time he's changed bodies, implying that the headmaster we know has survived for who knows how many decades. The implication of this is he either somewhat merges with or entirely overwrites the personality of his host. I’m not hoping for the latter--a rather dark side to his semblance--but if so it might already be starting. Oscar's "You have silver eyes" might be a bit of Ozpin creeping into his reactions.

We'll have to wait to find out. This premiere was, for the most part, surprisingly joyful, but we can't expect that to last for long. Our new intro says it straight out: "Things looking bleak and they're bound to get worse."

Best to fasten your seat belts.

Other Details of Note

The pilot's "Sorry, kid" to Weiss. Yes, please remind the audience that these are still children. People tend to forget that.

Qrow's constantly hunched back. I don't recall this from previous Volumes. This might be something Rooster Teeth is only now capable of with the new animation style, but regardless it's a wonderful little detail.

"That poor girl ripped to pieces" and Ruby's tiny gasp. Glad to see everyone hasn't completely forgotten about Penny. I'm also interested in whether the rest of the world didn't notice that Penny was a robot or if they're just that accepting of machines with souls as "real girls."

Qrow--"I quit teaching for a reason." Did a good job training Ruby though!

Using the Maidens' titles in place of their names is both good for the show's mystery and appropriately dehumanizing.

I'm surprised that no one responded to Ren's hope that they can reclaim the Spring Maiden in a more peaceful manner. In fact, he's not in the rest of that scene's shots, to the extent that I wondered if he was using his semblance for some reason. I hope that they'll return to this. We've had very little exploration of fighting-obsessed Huntsmen/Huntresses finding non-violent solutions to their problems and it might add some actual conflict to the group. They get along incredibly well for four teenagers traveling the world together.

Qrow tells Lionheart to keep in touch, as if we all don't know how terrible he is at contacting the rest of his super-secret team. Way to be a hypocrite, Qrow.

Sun and Blake's dad can finally agree on something! Drinks all around.

Yang's hand briefly shaking after her first "fight" since she lost her arm as well as the call-back joke to her times in Junior's bar. Most characters had little call-back moments and it was wonderful to see in a premiere.

[theshapeshifter100]

Guess What? I’m Not a Robot Ch26

Summary: Capital Park happens and more protests begin.

Chapter Warnings: Loss of temper, implied nightmares. (So pretty tame compared to everything else)

Word Count: 1,610

2.30AM Tuesday 9th November 2038

Paul hadn’t moved from the living area, nor had he turned off the tv all night. He watched it near religiously, waiting for any more signs of this Markus or change in the media. So far, no change either way.

Megan’s door creaked open and she stumbled out in her pyjamas. Her hair was a bed tousled mess and her pyjamas were rumpled, yet it appeared she hadn’t actually slept.

“Are you okay?” Paul asked, and Megan shrugged.

“Can’t sleep,” she said, retrieving her coat. “All I can see is that burning android, or you being taken away by police and...” Megan couldn’t continue, but she didn’t need to.

“There’s been reports of more people burning androids all day,” Paul said miserably. “Protests across Detroit. No idea if for or against androids, but...” Paul shrugged helplessly. “What are you doing?”

“Going to the roof,” Megan responded, putting her coat on.

“It is literally freezing outside,” Paul warned.

“I’ll be fine. I just need to think,” Megan turned to go back to her bedroom, and Paul resisted the urge to make her take the stairs.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright? The metal is slippery in the snow.”

“I won’t go on the railing,” Megan promised. “My balance is good, but you’re right. It’s dangerous this time of year.”

With that she left the room and Paul settled back into the couch. He was watching one of those 24 hour news channels, which didn’t really have anything interesting.

He slipped into a daze, thinking about what that police officer said. That if things escalate CyberLife will have a product recall. He shuddered. He didn’t remember CyberLife, he wasn’t online until he reached the stores. If there was a massive product recall, best case scenario was mass reprogramming, worst case, mass destruction. Neither of these scenarios Paul wanted.

Megan would try and protect him, he didn’t doubt that, but there was only so much she could do. There were other ways to tell if someone was an android.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by the news channel suddenly erupting. Just like before he began to flick through channels to see if he could get a different perspective. This time though he had to stand up and physically change the channel, so stood right in front of the tv.

“We interrupt this broadcast with breaking news.”

“This just in: at exactly 2AM several CyberLife stores in Detroit were raided.”

“Different locations were hit in what seems to be a co-ordinated terrorist attack and we’re getting more information as it comes in.”

“Most shop windows were covered in graffiti demanding rights for androids and other obscure slogans.”

“Police report that pro-android graffiti was found in the neighbourhoods of CyberLife’s stores and they’re still investigating.”

“We’re getting reports that two policemen were found in a state of shock near one of the CyberLife stores,”

“According to our sources, they confirm that the attackers were a group of androids,”

“This is an alarming situation. Could our machines now be turning against us?”

“Have androids become a threat to our security?”

“Is this the beginning of a terrorist campaign, conducted right here in the United States?

Paul turned off the tv in disgust. Terrorist campaign? Seriously? They broke some shop windows and left graffiti and left two police officers alive. That wasn’t a terrorist campaign. People die in terrorist campaigns!

He wanted to share this Megan, but he had noticed that the last few times he’d lost his temper, Megan had appeared afraid. It made something in his chest ache. He didn’t want Megan to be afraid of him, it’s just, this whole thing just made him so angry! More angry than he’d ever been!

He began to pace. This wasn’t fair! There were millions of androids, and when a few stand up for themselves every single android is branded as violent and dangerous. Admittedly, he knew that this had happened before throughout human history, since humans never seem to learn. That didn’t make it any better though.

He paced around the darkened apartment, trying to calm himself down before talking to Megan. Once he felt like he was calm enough, he grabbed a pair of keys and went up the stairs to the roof.

Megan was still up there, sitting on her coat and wrapped in her duvet against the cold. Paul silently went over and sat down next to her.

“Needed to think too?” Megan asked, and Paul shrugged.

“Kind of,” he followed Megan’s gaze to the horizon. “News just in. There were a bunch of break ins at the CyberLife stores in Detroit. A lot of graffiti in Capitol Park and a couple of scared cops. News declaring at as a ‘terrorist attack’,” Paul used inverted commas there and Megan shook her head.

“Fucking idiots. No one’s hurt or dead. Only weapons that sound like they might have been used is whatever they used to break in. That’s not a terrorist attack, that’s civil unrest.”

“Thank you,” Paul breathed, glad that Megan saw that as well.

“Sounds like Capitol Park is a good place to protest tomorrow,” Megan added. “Get there nice and early, establish ourselves.”

Paul nodded. “Agreed,” he remembered the potential recall, but decided not to mention it. Megan clearly had enough problems sleeping. He didn’t need to add to it. “I’ll let the others know.”

He sent a message out, and to his surprise, someone responded quickly.

Rainbow3: Do you sleep?

Beep Boop: Sometimes. What about you?

Rainbow3: I’m catching up on an essay. What’s your excuse?

Beep Boop: @Nervousness Incarnate and I can’t sleep. Not after that android. Did the police come to yours yesterday?

Rainbow3: Yeah, seems like they’re doing the rounds. Might get worse after what you mentioned.

Beep Boop: Yes, it might. Up for it?

Rainbow3: Sure

Poison Oak: Good, now can you two go to sleep!?

Rainbow3: Okay okay

Maggie and Ivy went offline, and Paul closed the app, letting the translucent window disappear.

“Most people should be there tomorrow,” Paul reported back, and Megan nodded.

“Okay, better brace myself then,” she declared.

“And actually sleeping would help,” Paul intoned.

“I’ll try, but no promises,” the smirk was clear in Megan’s voice as she stood up, duvet around her like a cloak.

“Also, we’re taking the stairs,” Paul decided, “that’s one hell of risk if you go down the fire escape like that.”

“Okay dad,” Megan yawned, and Paul stopped and looked at her oddly.

“...dad?”

“I was joking. You’re more like a protective brother to be honest,” Megan yawned again. “Let’s go to bed.”

“Agreed.”

 9AM Tuesday 9th November 2038

Nearly everyone was yawning as they set up in Capitol Park. The news last night and the burning android had unsettled them, but they were still going. Julia and Oscar couldn’t make it that, for work and football practice respectively. However that was mitigated by the number of people that Alex and Allison had recruited.

There was about thirty of them now, all with cardboard and electronic signs. Since the plan was to be there all day, people had brought drinks, food, chairs, blankets, heat packs, batteries and even spare winter clothing.

The mood was muted, but hopeful as they saw the graffiti from last night was still there.

Alex stood at the front, facing the crowd.

“Loving the turnout today! Remember, we’re here all day, and we’re all friends. Don’t be afraid to ask for water if you need it. We’ll take rotated breaks for lunch from midday until two, and we’ll stay until it gets dark. If you need to leave early, that’s fine. Like I said, we’re all friends here!” Alex picked up their banner with Allison, which had been redecorated with triangles in a variety of colours. “Let’s get started!”

The entire crowd began to chant. It got off to a rough start due to embarrassment and not being co-ordinated. Although they quickly got together and were chanting loudly and in time with both Alex and Nathan’s rhythm, since he had brought the keyboard again.

Paul had Megan on his shoulders again, and he couldn’t help but look around. He got the feeling that there was at least one more android in the group. After a scan around he found them. A WR600 he guessed, as they weren’t in uniform and were wearing a hat. However, given how stiffly he was standing and how robotically he was chanting, it was clear he wasn’t deviant.

Paul managed to catch their eye, and smile at them, hoping to make them think. The WR600 didn’t change expression, but did stare at him for a few seconds before facing forward again. It was a start.

More people arrived as the hours wore on, and Megan took breaks from sitting on Paul’s shoulders. It got surprisingly uncomfortable after a while.

Around half one someone offered him a sandwich.

“No thanks, I’m good,” he assured.

“Are you sure? You’ve been doing this all day, don’t you want a break?”

“I’ll have a break,” Paul conceded, even if he didn’t need one. “But Megan’s been giving me snacks all morning. I’m not hungry.”

“Alright,” they shrugged. “I’ll see if anyone else wants it.”

Paul sat down on one of the blankets and folded his legs to people watch. Random people seemed to be joining now, swelling the ranks to at least forty, and so far, no negative push back. Even the press they had attracted seemed more curious than judgemental as they interviewed people. Fate appeared to have smiled upon them. Although there were still several hours to go, anything could happen.

More protesting! Seems to be going a lot better than last time though. Maybe it'll stay that way... People who know the game timeline know how that will go down.

Other Options Flowchart

(Paul) Suggest Megan takes the stairs. Insist.

(Paul) Take the fire escape

(Megan) Sarcastic response.

(Megan) Say nothing (Paul would suggest Capital Park protest)

Tags! @nightmarejim @septicart-appreciation

[aurantia-ignis]

how do you rank the berseria characters in terms of personal favorites and why?

Okay since you asked ‘why’, I’m going to give you two versions. One with spoilers and one without.The spoiler-free rank!1. Eizen and *SPOILER CHARACTER*2. Laphicet3. Velvet4. Eleanor and Rokurou6. *SPOILER CHARACTER*7. Dyle, *SPOILER CHARACTER*, Benwick  8. Seres9. Magilou   10. Or & Toros, Percival 11. Artorius, Shigure, Kurogane, Medisa, Moana12. Oscar, Teresa, Melchior    Reveals and reasons will be under the spoiler cut

>>>>>>>MAJOR BERSERIA SPOILERS BELOW>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>1. Eizen and ZaveidThese two tie because I can’t pick between the two of them. I love Eizen’s personality: the way he makes occasional puns, his enthusiasm for adventure and loot, the way he watches over Laphicet (and later, Velvet and the rest of the party). I love the way his backstory was crafted, how he had to live with the curse of the shinigami until Aifread taught him not to fear. I love the way he came to terms with it, the way he would rather live life to its fullest with the other pirates and one day die a dragon than be immortal forever just to be ‘safe’. I love that he obviously cares for his sister a lot, but despite that he has no intention of going back to live with her because he knows that his place is aboard the Van Eltia. It’s important, I think, for there to be characters that live for themselves and what they want from life than to have it all revolve around someone they love. I love how he interacts with Zaveid, how he fought so hard to save both Theodora and Zaveid. I love how he gave himself to save the world during the Death Edge period. I love his manzai bout with Magilou. I just really, really love this man a lot. Zaveid’s personality I’ve loved ever since Zestiria, but back then I lamented the lack of screentime and character development in the game. In Berseria, we get to see him so much more. I love the way he passionately defends the seirei. I love the way he tried to watch over Silver. I love the way he kept insisting that dragons are still the serei they once were. I love how he watched over the human children with Theodora. I love the way he interacted with Aizen, learning that there are different ways to look at death. I love how he fought alongside Eizen during the Death Edge period, and ultimately tried to follow up on his promise to take care of Eizen. And of course, during Zestiria… he tried to teach Edna what Eizen taught him, too. I don’t ship these two romantically, but I love them both and I want to see them interact more and I would fight to the death for either of them ;w;b2. LaphicetTHIS CHILD. When I first saw him I merely thought ‘oh it’s a cute shota how adorable’. He seemed to have a lot of potential, a blank slate that didn’t know anything, a person who has to learn how to live. I was a little apprehensive because I didn’t know how good the writing would be, and I worried a little bit that he’d not be as good as he could be.Thankfully, Berseria wrote him wonderfully. He went from “I’m not supposed to have opinions” to “THESE ARE MY OPINIONS AND NOTHING WILL STAND IN MY WAY” in a beautiful story arc. Unlike some of the other seirei like Zaveid, who went from normal to 0 to normal due to Kanonushi’s power, Phi was born already controlled, so he really had no idea what it was like outside Teresa’s control. He learnt that from Velvet and the party, though there were multiple obstacles including Velvet’s occasional meltdown “THIS IS AN ORDER”. I was waiting for the moment when he’d stand up against Velvet for what he believed in, and I wasn’t disappointed. The scene where he yelled at Velvet and demanded for her not to give up was a most amazing scene. I loved him for becoming Maotelus to protect the world that he had learnt to love, even though it was heartbreaking ;_;Aside from that, he’s adorable, and kind-hearted, and hilarious, particularly when bugs are involved. Protect Laphicet 2k17. 3. VelvetThe only thing I dislike about this lady now it’s probably her default clothes. I can’t stand them. She spent my entire playthrough dressed in her villager outfit. =w=;;I was also very apprehensive about Velvet because she had a lot of potential… but could also go horribly wrong. I saw her as a Sasuke type; an avenger who was consumed by revenge. There’s so much room for character growth that, if done well, her entire journey would be excellent. But if badly handled, she’d end up as boring and problematic as Sasuke. Fortunately, the game managed her beautifully. She did start her journey with a narrow minded “I must kill Artorius” goal, and kept that mindset for quite a long time. But she did begin to realise that she was doing essentially what Artorius did; that her coldblooded road to vengeance was nowhere near any kind of goodness, despite how she was so angsty about Artorius being the true evil that deceived everyone. I loved her entire breakdown scene; she was going crazy, and it was so carefully crafted. Although I had originally hoped that she’d have to pick between continuing with her revenge and deciding to live for the sake of those who still live (like Laphicet), what I received in the end with her revenge itself being rendered unnecessary was still quite good. Finally, I loved her for acknowledging that she had committed so many crimes while ‘saving the world’, and that she would atone for it by going into eternal slumber with Laphi, to protect the world that she had caused so much harm to. Very few games do this (there should have been a part in Graces F where Richard has to deal with having been a bad guy, instead of the whole world just going OH IT’S K WE FORGIVE YOU NO HARM DONE), and though it’d have been nice if she could live with Phi through the years, I think it was a great end to her journey. Much love for this protagonist who was clearly and wonderfully written.4. Eleanor and RokurouI wasn’t very fond of Eleanor at first, because her character archetype didn’t appeal to me. But she was the first to get her character development clearly. She reminded me a great deal of Flynn; blindly following orders because that was all that she had known. As the days passed with the party, she slowly came to see that her whole world might be a lie, and she was honest enough to decide that she wanted to see everything through, to find out what was the truth behind Artorius and the seirei. This has to be the first time that a ‘traitor’ character gave up the betrayal before it even happened, and I laughed a lot at that XD I appreciate her well-written relationship with Velvet, and her bond with Laphicet, even though it started out as ‘I HAVE TO PROTECT THIS CHILD BECAUSE IT IS MY DUTY’. Rokurou was the other way round. I loved his character from the start because he made puns and he did jokes and he was fairly open and honest, contrasting with Velvet and Laphicet. He was the first to show immediate care and concern for Laphicet, despite his “I am a gouma I have no feelings” drivel. Which I felt was a problem as the story went on. His character writing (or lack there of) wasn’t coherent at all, and there was so much potential for him to have been an excellent character. But instead, as even his seiyuu acknowledged, he was kind of shunted to the side. The entire thing with Shigure and Kurogane could have been handled much better. Ultimately, he fell from grace for me. :6. Laphicet Crowe/KanonushiA very fascinating character. It’s been years since any game has managed to overwhelm me with a plot twist; usually I can predict what happens in the plot. But at his first appearance as Kanonushi I literally sat up straight in my chair with a HOLY CRAP WHAT because it was /that/ unexpected. I loved the way he was written, how he was shown through the prologue (and Velvet’s POV) to be such an innocent, endearing character… and yet through the narrative later we’re shown that there’s far more to him that she never saw. It’s hard to say if the Kanonushi we see is still Laphicet Crowe, or if they’re two separate people, but it’s a fact that before his ‘death’, Laphi did think and say all of that stuff to Artorius. I can never call Phi Laphi anymore even though those who haven’t played the game are still doing so as a term of endearment ;w; 7. Dyle, Van Aifread, Benwick  Dyle is my all time favourite monster NPC. He’s hilarious, and I love his gentle concern for Moana. Off the top of my head, him going “I WONDER IF THAT WAS MY ANCESTOR” when he was born a human cracked me up really hard. I’m really glad he ended up adopting Moana. Aifread is a great character, though we don’t see much of him. I liked his story with Eizen in the light novel, and I love his personality. I also love how he says that one of Eizen’s biggest failing is his refusal to introduce Edna to him XDBenwick is another adorable child. I love the way he’s written as a part of the storyline, the way he speaks to Velvet and the others throughout the plot of his own accord. He’s not just there to fill a Ship-chauffeur role, he’s there as a member of your party. I love the way he and the other pirates leaped to rescue Aifread, even though it was pretty stupid of them to do so ^^; 8. Seres/CelikaShe was a great sister. Again, it’s hard to say if Seres and Celika are the same people or two separate beings. If Seres had gotten control of her mind without the memories of Celika, would she be Celika? We’ll never know.But because she was a blank slate when she recovered Celika’s memories, I choose to believe that the being Seres was shaped by Celika’s experiences and feelings. And I loved her for believing in Velvet, for wanting to help Velvet stop Arthur. 9. MagilouHonestly, the only reason she’s here and not all the way at the bottom is because she makes me laugh sometimes, like during the manzai subevents. Magilou’s writing was messy, she got her entire ‘backstory and development’ within a single scene (much like Dezel’s was) and I honestly couldn’t care anything for it. She was the biggest disappointment for me, because I cannot find it within myself to care for someone with such shoddy writing. Even all through her heroic moment of Crowning Glory (or both times, actually), I didn’t feel anything for her at all.     10. Or & Toros, Percival,KuroganeDOGS. LOVE DOGS. LOVE THEIR LOYALTY. Prince is also kind of ok. But he was kinda nice. Also love his gryphon. Kurogane was likable, but didn’t really get a lot of screen time. I liked the idea of him using his own self as material to craft, but I wish that had gotten better developed.Let me also use this space to say I love the way the Aifread pirates + the ‘hostages’ interact. I always talk to every single NPC when I’m at base 8D; 11. Artorius, Shigure, Medisa, MoanaThe main reason Artorius is here instead of higher is because I don’t really care for him personally, but his writing is actually pretty great. He was wonderfully developed as a character, and throughout the game you get to see how he clearly grew to become Artorius the Antagonist from Arthur the good guy (which doesn’t always happen cough Heldalf). Shigure is kind of wrapped up in Rokurou’s messy underwhelming writing as well. And aside from that I also don’t care for him much. Medisa is a pain and I disliked how she was given a 180 simply because MOANA DAUGHTER SUBSTITUTE. It might have worked if she had been properly developed. Moana is here because I really don’t like childish immature selfish children. Yes, I get that they’re kids, it’s normal for them to act this way. But they still annoy the hell out of me each time they whine. And in terms of writing, she’s pretty unrealistic half the time…. 12. Oscar, Teresa, Melchior, BienfuThese people =w=Oscar and Teresa are not badly written. They’re pretty good. But they’re also terribly selfish human beings, and I just dislike their characters. Melchoir is a lot less developed than them, and he’s an asshole. Bienfu is just annoying from start to end and I found nothing to like about him whatsoever. =w=;;And that’s it. Sorry for the spam; I hadn’t realised it’d get this long ^^; 

[itsworn]

A Very Hot 1971 Hemi Cuda

Greetings Ghoulz! When we finally finished the Phantom ’Cuda, I had a moment where I thought Graveyard Carz had peaked. We resurrected the raced, wrecked, and rusted. Returning to the world one of its 108 1971 440+6-bbl, 3.54 Dana, shaker hood, Tor Red, four-speed ’Cudas. Particularly, one that had been completely written off by this aforementioned world. It felt great! But I admit there was this sinking feeling, spurred by the question, “What if that was the biggest challenge we’ll ever face?” One good ’Cuda deserves another.

In the unaired pilot for Graveyard Carz we had an animated cemetery for fallen cars — literally buried and marked with headstones. If that existed in real life, the car I’m about to introduce would definitely be in it. I could imagine — considering the rarity, value, and near mythical status of this car — an appropriate epitaph would read: “1971 Hemi ’Cuda, 1 of 48. Born May 19, 1971 – Died May 20, 1999. ‘Only The Good Die Young.’” Who knows, with today’s technology maybe a streaming MP3 version of the same song by Billy Joel could play through a hidden speaker when you walked by. While I greatly respect and admire “The Piano Man,” or B.J. as I like to call him (not to his face and not ’cause I’m afraid of him), I’d prefer an epitaph from Oscar Goldman: “Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic car. Better … stronger … faster.”

For more details on the tragedy that befell this car, you can watch season 8 episode 13 of Graveyard Carz on Velocity or Motor Trend On Demand and hear the story from the man who lived it, Wendall Malmberg. In very short summary: Wendall and a friend were in his shop with the ‘Cuda and several other cars when a spark ignited some gas fumes from a leaking car. The resulting explosion engulfed the building in flames. Wendall and his friend were lucky to make it out alive. Graveyard Carz gets another shot at the title. Wendall, in a stroke of genius and mercy, didn’t let the insurance company total his Hemi ’Cuda. He wanted to bring it back to life one day and he chose Graveyard Carz to make that dream a reality. The fire was in 1999, so he’s been waiting 19 years for this. I can tell you that it’ll be a long restoration process, but Wendall knows it’ll be worth the wait. Having combed over the Elephant ’Cuda in excruciating detail, I can give you my thoughts on the approach we intend to take. But as with all journeys, the navigation can change when you encounter unexpected surprises along the way. So the plan I’m going to lay out here might be dramatically overhauled when this car comes back from the dipper. Specifically, we’ll have a better idea of the condition of inner structures, rockers, and framerails.

Running down the Big Fish:

● 1971 “R” code Hemi ’Cuda Hardtop ● Automatic with console ● B5 Blue exterior ● Black leather bucket seats ● No vinyl top ● 4.10 Dana axle package ● SPD 519 ● Power steering ● Black billboard decals ● Left and right outside painted racing mirrors ● Turn signal indicators

“Is it numbers buddy?” said in a high-pitched, annoyingly familiar voice. When authenticating a car I check the fender tag, dash VIN, upper cowl numbers, core support, engine, and transmission number to see if they match, i.e. all started life together on the same car. Miraculously, all of these numbers not only survived the fire, but are also matching — that’s rarely heard of on a Hemi car, especially a ’71 Hemi ’Cuda. This is amazing when you consider that a dash VIN plate is a very thin metal and at the epicenter of the blazing heat. Fortunately, most intuitively, Wendall had the notion when he first bought the car that the broadcast sheet should be prized and protected — clearly a man after my own heart. So he had it under lock and key in his safe at home. Take note, my Ghoulz at home. Take note! When you look under the hood you can see that the bolt-on items were destroyed. Fortunately, these melted parts made of plastic, rubber, aluminum, etc., aren’t tied to a specific vehicle, meaning no VINs to worry about. Parts will just need to be date-coded correct when replacing. Nonetheless, the engine and transmission weren’t damaged — another miracle, if you ask me. Knowing that the basic engine, heads, and transmission are able to be rebuilt and restored is some of the best news a car owner can get. It means that this Hemi ’Cuda is 100 percent numbers matching! All of you know how rare that is, but that rarity is compounded greatly when we consider the trauma this car has been through. I know I said it twice already but I want to drive this point home — miracle!

Well, it ain’t all sunshine and roses. The Hemi ’Cuda’s body has seen better days to be sure. When sheetmetal is heated, it warps. That fact of physics is no different here. The fenders, hood, roof skin, doorskins, and quarter-panels will certainly need to be replaced. Nonetheless, it’s shocking to me, considering the other damage, that the inner structure is in phenomenal shape. In addition, the front inner fenders, cowl, firewall, front rails, rockers, main floor, rear step wells, under seat pan, inner and outer wheelhouses, trunk floor, trunk floor extensions, rear framerails, and rear body panel all appear to be usable. In fact, I don’t see any damage. Again, I am reserving final judgment until we get the car back from the dip tank, but it’s very promising.

Sometimes, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Fire isn’t friendly to interiors. Let’s face facts: If it’s rubber, plastic, pot metal, aluminum, or fabric it’s toast. Fortunately though, we can save the more structural components of the interior, such as the seat frames and tracks, dash frame, glovebox door, lightbar, metal interior garnish moldings, and in a twist of irony, the ashtray. For a car like this, it makes sense to use as many original parts as possible. The investment of time is well worth it. As for the numerous items that cannot be restored, like the center console and “standard” instrument panel, I’ve some amazing vendors I rely on for almost all of my restorations. Like my friend Tony “he thinks he knows more about Mopars than me” D’Agostino and OER, a division of Classic Industries.

Don’t miss the train. With the miraculous survival of the original engine, transmission, and 4.10 Dana, the drivetrain will be restored to the Hamtramck assembly plant’s specifications, including the suspension, as the leafsprings, transmission crossmember, front suspension, K-member, et al., all appear to be very restorable. The factory 15×7 Rally Wheels survived the flames. The center caps and trim rings, however, didn’t make it. You can probably guess how the F60-15 Polyglas tires turned out. Surprisingly though, the original space-saver rim is good, go figure.

The glass is definitely half empty. The original glass, date codes and all, were broken by the firefighters. It’s sad, but they did an amazing job controlling the fire, and if they didn’t do what they did, we may not have as much as we do of this car. Speaking of which, the stainless steel windshield trim and drip troughs look salvageable. However, anything pot metal or plastic, like the L31 fender-mounted turn signal indicators, grille, headlight bezels, taillight housings and bezels, side marker lenses, park lenses, etc. are beyond repair. Just as an interesting aside, the damage to the roof was also fire-suppression related. The firefighters had to stand on the roof to suppress the fire in the building. Again, let me reiterate, although it’s tragic to have more damage done to this beautiful car, if the firefighters didn’t perform as they did we may not have as much as we do. So even though the car guy in me wants to weep for Wendall and curse the small losses, I will not sleep under the blanket of fire safety that the firefighters provide and then question the manner in which they provide it. Jack Nicholson … A Few Good Men. We bandy about the word “survivor” when referring to a car that has never needed the gentle touch of the restoration technician nor the heavy hand of the amateur auto aficionado in his home-based shop, but when we think about what that means, we’re talking about a car that’s cared for and kept from lot to garage. Driven and used, but protected and maintained throughout its life. When we consider Wendall’s ultra-rare Hemi ’Cuda, sitting in his shop with its gorgeous B5 blue paint, black billboard stripes, and stunning shaker hoodscoop cared for, protected, and well maintained. Then, in a moment, this cherished car is lost in an explosive inferno. But Wendall’s passion and love for this car isn’t gone. It grows. He keeps it, cares for it, and holds on hope for its return. When this car is restored, brought out of the ashes, and given new life, it’ll be a true “survivor” car.

When I look back at some of the cars we’ve restored or even built, I have to laugh at the similarities. We built/restored a ’71 ’Cuda to be an homage to the ’Cudas in my friend Don Coscarelli’s Phantasm films. It wasn’t an exact replica, but one that paid homage to the cars used in his inimitable film franchise. We called it the “Phantasm ’Cuda.” We built a very special O.E. on the outside, modern Mopar muscle on the inside, ’Cuda to reveal at SEMA 2016. Considering the original name for the Hemi was “Firepower” and this was the first ’71 ’Cuda to sport the new Mopar 392 Crate Hemi (it was even blessed by Mopar President Pietro Gorlier when he visited my shop — just saying), we decided to call this car the “Firepower ’Cuda.” And, of course, we have the ’Cuda that started it all. The ’71 ’Cuda that no one believed we could restore — the hurdle car that kicked off the Graveyard Carz TV series. The “one and only” to me, but 1 of 108 to the rest of the world, we call the “Phantom ’Cuda.” I find it odd that some of the most significant cars we’ve done have been ’71 ’Cudas. Stranger still that we only give these cars special monikers. Even weirder that two out of three of those names happen to begin with a “Ph” — but all with an “ef” sound (phonetically speaking). Well, it’s going to get stranger.

We gave this new hurdle car a name too. Given that it burst into flames and will soon rise out of the ashes reborn, we’ve continued our oddly coincidental naming scheme of ’71 ’Cudas and call this the “Phoenix ’Cuda.” Stay tuned to Graveyard Carz in the coming seasons on Velocity and Motor Trend On Demand. This car is rarer than the “Phantom” with only 1 of 48 ever made. Unlike the other moniker ’Cudas, it’s completely numbers matching. And it’s endured far more trauma than being wrecked in a ditch. After the “Phantom,” I wondered if we’d ever have a car with the trifecta of being ultra-rare, incredibly challenging to restore, and having a compelling story. Well, I guess when the restoration tech is ready, the car appears.

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