#I write captions like a grandma lol

[doctorcanon]

Creatures of the earth, of space, sea and land. I'm Exuma, the Obeah Man.

This version of Ocarina of Time Link was inspired by @phoenix-arts7's @houseofheroesau because he's just...SO PRETTY.

I think I've gotten to the root of why I'm so obsessed with Zelda characters dancing. My grandma lived with us off and on from about 97 to 2001. She'd watch us play video games - particularly Ocarina of Time - and tell us stories. One story in particular I loved about the Obeah Man danced around her village until his feet bled.

Now my Grandmother wasn't Jamaican, or raised in a village and I'm pretty sure she was actually telling an Anansi Story she only partially remembered and it changed almost every time except one part: The Obeah Man danced outside of the village for days because he wanted to protect the village and everytime you see some moving in the corner of your eye, it's him keeping you and your family safe.

Bloodless and Negative Space versions under the cut.

[suneeater]

the haikyuu guys + their icks

➳ushijima, oikawa, iwaizumi, daichi, asahi, sugawara, hinata, kageyama, semi, bokuto, kenma, kuroo, shirabu, terushima, tsukkishima, tanaka, nishinoya

✎a/n: this is supposed to be silly, we need things to post until we get some requests rolling in and this was fun to write so!

✰warnings: n/a

𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐚.

he is completely socially unaware and cannot tell when people are flirting with him so he just lets it continue and accidentally leads people on, REGULARLY

𝐨𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚.

he still follows instagram models and regularly likes all of their photos. he also responds with "why" when someone asks if he's single instead of just saying no

𝐢𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐢.

he has a man complex. im obsessed with this man but he is rude to strangers in public bc he thinks you'll think it's hot when really he's just embarrassing you. he also manspreads severely.

𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢.

he has a weird amount of back hair which isn't a problem itself because it's just the human body except he tries to shave it by himself so now his back is just weird uneven patches of hair and he insists he doesn't need help. he also mansplains really bad

𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐚.

gives unprovoked and backhanded compliments all the time for literally no reason, also uses large amounts of your nice soaps

𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐡𝐢.

i genuinely cant think of any icks for him i love him so much he's perfect sorry. his ick is that he cannot make a mistake ever

𝐤𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐚.

he moans like a fucking blobfish. he also always has a tummy ache because he's a grown man who consumes too much dairy, and he gets indigestion and is always BURPING. watches family guy at full volume and cackles at it

𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐚.

can only fall asleep if bluey is on

𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚.

he leads you on and then rejects you, then after a few months hits you up again acting like nothing happened

𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐮.

constantly tells people 'actually, that's DR to you'

𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚.

he talks down to you like a child sometimes and insists on doing tasks for you not out of the goodness of his heart but because he's convinced you'll do it wrong by his standards

𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐚.

he only listens to rap music and thinks you don't know who tupac is. every gift he gets you is stolen from the dollar store

𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐲𝐚.

does the 'he ain't got no money' hold

𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨.

he captions all of his instagram posts with emo quotes because it's not a phase, y/n. it could literally be your wedding photos and it would say 'ILL BURN YOUR NAME INTO MY THROAT I'LL BE THE FIRE THAT WILL CATCH YOU' and just ruin everything

𝐛𝐨𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐨.

he has skid marks lol, he at least has no personality icks if that helps. idk this one's pretty bad but at least it can be fixed. he'd sob if you brought it to his attention though

𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐦𝐚.

he does not regularly shower and it's noticeable. he also stockpiles dirty dishes, like deadass never brings them back to the kitchen. he'd also just throw the rest of his food away instead of putting it up because 'he doesn't like leftovers'

𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐢.

throws basement shows at his grandmas house and doesn't stop if there's a fight in the audience

[4evasummer]

" last online: 15/11/2011 " (itto)

plot: you and itto were online friends back in the day where games like club penguin and wizard 101 were very popular, and always played and talked together online. however, one day you've never heard from him again.

notes: setting is modern au around 2009-2011 alongside present day. also i'm writing this at almost 3am help

content warning: angst, dialouge that screams early 2010s

~ 23/4/2010 (3:35am)

xxTheOneAndOnixx: hey there! wanna play some club penguin? :3 angelofdarkness1995: sure! but before that i need to show you my new hairstyle xD!!!! hint: it's what we talked about last week!!

xxTheOneAndOnixx: lemme see lemme see!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!111!!!!1!1 *angelofdarkness1995 sent an image* xxTheOneAndOnixx: WOW. that cut is so dope!!!!!!111!!!1! 0_o HOW DID YOU DO THAT????

angelofdarkness1995: had my big sis help me out :p. it was messy but worth it ;)

~ 1/6/2010 (12:04 am) angelofdarkness1995: HAPPY BDAY BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

xxTheOneAndOnixx: thx!!!!!!!

angelofdarkness1995: i made you a lil shoutout video on youtube!! it has your favourite song in it!

xxTheOneAndOnIxx: now this is what i'm talking about!!! this video is fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!

angelofdarkness1995: omg tysm itto!!!! took me almost whole day to make it tho 0_o!

xxTheOneAndOnixx: hey, hey! there's no need!! let'z go play some moviestarplanet!!! i need to show off my new wardrobe to you ^^ angelofdarkness: YESH LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

~ 12/9/2010 (3:30 pm)

xxTheOneAndOnixx: srry i've been inactive for a while :<. i had to move to a new town and i ended up breaking my computer in the process ;; angelofdarkness1995: is okay! a ton of stuff has happened lately! have you heard that the shogun just created a myspace account? :0

xxTheOneAndOnixx: REALLY??????!!?!?!?!!?!? THAT'S NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

looking at older messages gives me comfort, despite the second hand embarassment. but the real thing is...why does time have to change? i looked at the last post itto sent in that forum we posted in everyday. it was a blingee of an anime girl dressed in emo clothing, captioned, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I GOT SCAMMED IN CLUB PENGUIN FOR THE 7TH TIME THIS YEAR :((((((((!!!11!!!! SOME1 HELP ME :((((((" many users responded to his post, asking him how it happened and offered solutions to rectify the issue. others made fun of him for his gullibility.

the cursor on the screen seemed to lead itself to the chatrooms, and clicked the chatroom between myself and itto. i read the latest messages we exchanged. ~15/11/2011 (9:00pm) xxTheOneAndOnixx: wow that mario kart sesh was hella dope 0_0! how do you have such insane drifting skillz???

angelofdarkness: it was blood, sweat and tears lol?\. xxTheOneAndOnixx: welp grandma is calling me down for dinner. see ya later alligator :3 angelofdarkness: see ya! :p last online: 15/11/2011 "i wonder where he is now" i ask myself as i open twitter and create a thread regarding itto's whereabouts.

welp that was my first tumblr fanfic ever. if you read this thanks so much and consider reblogging, liking and following! it's very appreciated :3!

[thirsthourdemon]

Headcanon on their online platforms but mainly on Twitch, onlyfans stuff, patreon, tumblr

Includes: Demon bros + undateablesss

Genre: Crack, Fluff and slight smut

Warnings: NSFW mentions

||Lucifer

-He didn’t have a big online presence because he was active, no no

-He had an online presence cause everyone always sees him on Diavolo s pictures and such so for a time they shared an audience

-One time Diavolo and Barbatos were doing a thing where they read a book aloud for some sort of game

-Diavolo kind of recorded that for a little bit

-ASMR I TELL YOU

-People liked it so much they suggested for “the one with the deep cold voice”, luci, to do asmr on youtube or something

-He doesn’t know what an Onlyfans is however he does have a patreon.

-Diavolo was interested in the idea and discussed it with him

-HE BLEW UP CAUSE EVERYONE WAS FREAKING OUT OVER HOW AMAZING HIS VOICE WAS OF COURSE! 😡

-His fandom consists of either people who are interested in what he reads or...Horny people who get off at how proper and low his voice is

-His profile picture is a picture of him with his head cropped out where he’s fixing his gloves

-Luci isnt like super famous but he has a loyal fanbase that appreciates him a lot also lots of simps with daddy issues

-He was confused as to why someone would ask him to be their father

-He gets the daddy kink but why???

-Last post: A picture MC took where he’s holding a whip cause mammon fucked something up 🙂

||Mammon

-Bold of us to assume he didn’t already have one

-You already know why he’s on here.

-He has random content but he mainly got his audience since he kind of tried modeling thing for a while. It was for a big brand on their new jock type jackets

-Mammon really wanted cash at that time and he got the thing over and done with making him a couple more grims richer

-The photographers told him they could transfer the pictures though! So he just saved his pictures because “Who wouldn’t want a picture of THE mammon?”

-That gave him the idea

-His audience? Whoreknee

-They even accept the fact that his captions for some pictures are “You should be honored you get pictures of me”

-He posts that with a blushing face half of the time HAHAHAHA

-Levi found it and just laughed at the pictures

-Surprisingly enough the pictures were actually well taken because MC was forced into em

-His most popular picture was the one with him was actually a picture that the brothers took of him tucking in what appeared to be goldie on a seperate MINI BED WITH A SMALL TOY LAMP BESIDE IT

-He did a QnA for his followers to celebrate on his instagram

-PFFTT He got so many questions about Goldie

-Was dubbed “Goldie’s Daddy” after that

-Last post: A picture of him wearing the new Luxury brand jacket he got and his keys in front of his car with the caption “Daddy’s going for a ride”

||Leviathan

-I’ve always head canon that Levi knows how to draw digital emotes. Like he just picked it up cause he wanted to make fanart of him in henry together 😔

-Also has a red bubble or an etsy where he sells some prints and stickers of fanart 👀

-He went on twitch since there were so many TSL streamers there who just played games while they discussed theories as well

-Levi is an emote artist and while he draws he sometimes just discusses the theories with his fellow Yucky Otakus

-He’s the type to really interact with everyone even though he barely does that in real life

-Sometimes though when he gets packages that fans sent or ones that he ordered he’d stream unboxing them.

-He hates showing his face? Oh dont worry He’s wearing a facemask and all that

-His fandom is genuinely into him. Like they actually like him as a person but kinda once got into a scandal on gatekeeping

-He took a break for a bit but he kind of said sorry and everyone just forgave him because he isn’t really the type to do drama and it was just that one instance-

-Overall loved by the community due to how chill he is and how invested he is on fan theories

-He has a twitter btw and lemme tell you it’s just threads and threads of discussions

-Whenever he does stream unboxing videos though and he shows his shelves everyone freaks out how he has EVERY FUCKING VOLUME OF EVERY ANIME AND GAME

-People sometimes ask him personal questions and he tries his best to try to answer them but he shows a face where he looks uncomfy

-Everyone just bullies anyone who makes him uncomfy giving his fanbase a very protective reputation

-Last post: “Unboxing fanmail L8er @ 10pm LOL CYA GUYS XD”

||Satan

-He has a tumblr. You cant tell me he doesn’t have one.

-He had tumblr like back in the old day though like when porn was still available here.

-Get this...He’s known all through out the academia blogs. He INVENTED Academia

-Satan has 1 blog and that’s it. It’s his main blog and he just posts pictures of the book cover and does essays, reviews or sometimes he writes the ending he wanted to happen.

-Dont get me wrong he has a patreon but only because people loved getting more exclusive takes of stuff like his book notes on certain pages or sometimes his notes and thoughts on Artistic Erotica

-Probably has a Ko-Fi because he though he needed it after most of the blogs he followed had it

-He thinks it should be “Table of Content” and not “Masterlist” so he uses just that

-Profile picture is him wearing his signature washed out green grandma sweater while he has a book in hand and a cup of earl grey on his table

-People go to him falling in love with his aesthetic and Book reviews but they stay in love with him because he is big on one on one discussions actually

-He goes for one on one voice calls where he just...He talks to you about any book of your choosing

-Fans send him tea but he knows better than to eat something a stranger gives so he makes beel take a taste first sometimes but ultimately scolds the boy when he takes too much

-He wasn’t supposed to have merch but everyone liked the idea of small packages (More like letters) that really do look old and vintage

-He usually only give those to the people who pay for the top tier stuff

-It usually contains 1 type of tea, a letter he wrote for them himself and a bookmark with his name stamped on it

-He got the stamp custom made ❤️

-Last post: (Insert 5k word essay)

This is what I thought of Edgar Allan Poe’s “A cask of Amatillado”

Playlist: (Insert soft classic Music playlist on Spotify)

Tea: Black Currant

||Asmodeus

-ONLY FANS THROUGH AND THROUGH

-Is a brand influencer as well

-The brand ambassador of this pretty well known semi-luxury skin care brand

-His devilgram? Perfectly made by his PR team which is just him and solomon

-Before I move onto the NSFW stuff I want to emphasize how Beautiful his instagram is and his aesthetic

-His aesthetic is romantic/sexual tension/Unparalleled beauty

-Also a make up brand influencer and has his own make up line

-something along the lines of “The Devil’s box of charms 🖤”

-The type to DG live whenever he’s just showing off the make up look he did or the outfit he got

-The house of lamentation may have PR packages stacking up due to how most of them have an online influence but out of 10 boxes 7 of them would be for Asmo

-OKAY NOW ONTO NSFW STUFF

-Lemme tell you this...He has a specific drawer and space in his closet just for the sexy outfits he has.

-The demon’s onlyfans has pictures of him just teasing his audience where he’s wearing a black skintight get up and his bulge is showing

-Nudes are for mid and top tiers

-His fandom loves seeing in stocking and chokers

-“The choker is from etsy and here’s the link to their shop~”

-He doesnt completely show his body but...Him in suggestive clothing gets everyone pre cumming

-His fandom is just filled with simps 😔

-He loves them and blows a kiss towards the camera everytime he ends a live

-Probably has had a scandal or 4

-Posted an Ahegao once and everyone lost it

-Has been the face for Ahegaos ever since

-Belle delphine who?

-Definitely tik tok famous too 😎

-Has memorized all of Doja Cat’s songs

-Last post: “Hope you guys are ready for tonight’s session~ 😈” With a picture of him in an Fuchsia and black themed lingerie set. A collar with a bell on it.

-Bonus: One time Solomon summoned him while he was taking pictures and he was still in his lingerie set. 😛

||Beelzebub

-Was originally inspired by Mukbangs Channels so he did them on youtube too

-You get his Mukbangs on your recommended, You subscribe because of his cute and funny reactions whenever someone in the backgrounds is astounded to how much he’s eating

-Everyone knew beel as a cute guy who just does Mukbangs and loves to eat

-He once did a fridge raid and ended up eating everything in the fridge

-That was THE MOST CHAOTIC VIDEO on his channel cause you can just see luci and MC trying to make him stop

-He eventually got a patreon because mammon told him people will give him more money for food like that and to be honest he made a patreon but mammon takes care of it from time to time

-Oh you knew him as this sweet beautiful boy who just likes eating? hERe HavE sOmE WorKOUt pICs

-His body got everyone thirsty or may I say Starving

-S I M P S everywhere

-His patreon content is just him making small videos eating or pictures of him being all sweaty from the gym 😛💦

-“DADDY BWDONMXMSKC PLEASE FEED US”

-“Eh? You should feed me instead” *opens his mouth*

-Fans send him lots of boxes of weird food to see his reaction sometimes

-Did the fire noodle challenge a bit late but everyone is surprised to how he isn’t giving the reaction like they expected him

-Spice tolerance? Unmatched

-His fandom is either “UwU Beel please eat try this!” Or “Daddy Please FEED US WITH YOUR DELICIOUS THIGHS! 😩🥵💦💦💦”

-He does the service where he sends you his body building pictures except he isn’t sending them, Mammon is.

-Manager Mammon 😎 Gets a half of the profit

-Can I just...BeelProbablyHasnevergottenintoanyscandalbuthasalotofhaterssayingthefansonlylikehimforhishandsomefaceandgreatbodyandnicevoicebutlikewhatiswrongwithlikinghimbecauseofthosethings?Itisntbadtolikethatstuffatall

-Last post: “🍙 Thank you to @(Your Username) for the Onigiri! I finished the whole batch! Please send more food”

||Belphegor

-Sleep Guru

-Im sorry but I cant see him having any other social media aside from tumblr, twitter and Devilgram

-Belphie barely checks his phone but he has tumblr because apparently there’s a thing called the SandMan’s Box Community

-It’s like LootCrate, a subscription service that gives you stuff like Comfy Pillow sheets and tea for better sleeping

-This even gives you something like sleeping masks or ear muffs.

-The community is well...nocturnal

-His ask box is always full of his 100+ mutuals who just discuss stuff with him

-Whenever he actually does try to type online he makes articles about the best sleep positions or stuff like that

-His fandom is just loving mutuals who sleep and take care of each other

-They have a discord server where it just plays soft music to help everyone sleep

-Last post: “Humans aren’t so bad when they’re asleep”

||Luke and Simeon

-He has a big following on twitch where he just bakes sweets in his cute little hat and-

-Clearly you can tell I follow him on twitch

-The type of twitch streamer that no one hates on because why would you? He is literally just baking and cute comments

-Sometimes he streams with Simeon and everyone loves both of them

-When people give money they dont give “money” no no...they call donating headpats

-Luke is just so adorable that everyone just...

-“Angel Lulu’s Protection Squad⭐️”

-He got famous when he...He doesnt want to call it a collab but He made a lot of sweets and gave them to beel so everyone freaked out and thought

-THE SWEET BOY THAT EATS A LOT AND THE ANGELIC CHILD THAT MAKES SWEETS A LOT ARE FRIENDS?!

-He is now pissed that everyone thinks they’re friends 😠

-Basically his fans started making dishes and candy inspired by him

-Sometimes they send it in and Simeon has to confiscate some because

-“Im sorry, guys. You are all really sweet and I know that you mean well but Luke isn’t allowed much sweets yet”

-No one ever EVER lewds luke

-Fortunately Luke’s fandom has the least amount of pedophiles because everyone drives them away the moment they try something

-Whenever luke does fan mail/unboxing videos people just adore how Simeon places a glass of water at the table below the camera and the scissors or cutter he uses is child proof

-Even though Luke is the main person on his account everyone also notices Simeon.

-How couldn’t they? He looked like he wanted to make everyone in the audience live a better life

-Add that with luke’s wholesome baking and BOOM! You are now ready for a better life🌟

-Last post: It’s a picture of Luke shyly showing of his new batch of sun and moon shaped sugar cookies. “Sun and Moon. Tune in later at 3 pm to see how we made these!”

||Solomon

-He barely posts but he helps asmodeus with his stuff

-Too busy with anything else but helps out when things get interesting

-Proposes Ideas for Asmo sometimes when the demon doesn’t know what to wear for a live or a story

-Laughs at Asmo sometimes when he gets into scandals and drama

-Happy cameraman ❤️

-People follow him because 1.) He’s hot 2.) The fans ship him with Asmodeus

-Last Post: “When will you learn 🙂”

||Diavolo

-He is a vlogger~ Not a very active vlogger but a vlogger nonetheless

-He films anything he can but he’s more known on tik tok and devilgram rather than twitch or youtube

-People have been thirsting for him ever since and no one can convince me that they dont just shamelessly call him daddy whenever he goes on live

-Barbatos makes sure however that whenever it isnt appropriate anymore that he would tell diavolo to turn the camera off

-Wranggled Luci into his mess and now everyone knows the face of that one dude who just reads documents

-Everyone lowkey ships them

-Diavolo is the type to take a picture of a big meeting or a retreat out of instinct to just document his life

-He actually didnt know about vloggers before but he just liked the thought of documenting it

-Everyone picks up “Master” vibes as they say from him hehehe

-He doesnt have an Onlyfans or patreon 😔😔😔

-I honestly would have subscribed to his services

-Last post: “Barbatos made a delicious meal for us at the retreat today” Along with a picture of the Beautiful Demon Delicacy Spread in the table.

Taglist: No one yet (Please be part of the taglist for more content like this ☹️ It’s getting really discouraging)

[kittymaverick]

That Time of the Year Again (tm): Get ready for MCF 21: the Harbinger commentary!

It’s that time of the year yet again! Mystery Case Files 21: The Harbinger commentary. If anyone has been waiting for the hilarity that is my commentaries, I’m sorry I’m late this year. I actually started working as a freelance writer, and projects are coming in hot. Plus a recent family matter (not COVID-related. I’m thankfully in one of the safest places from it.) meant I had to put this on a back-burner. And then I guess I left it there for too long and triggered the smoke alarm, and people entered my inbox going “Are you okay???” So without further ado, let’s get this started. *cracks fingers* I have DUAL MONITORS NOW which means I can see my commentary AND watch the playthrough at the same time. (Yet, I still DON’T have a credit card. This is the new running joke.) I’m going to be watching YouGib’s playthough. Pazu also has his playthrough up. Spoilers below the cut as usual!

First, Grandma? A new studio? (A quick google shows they have done quite a bit of HOP titles and series.) Welcome to the MCF family! I hope you’re ready for the roasting that’s ahead. 8D MD: You mean the roasting they’ll let me do, right? I don’t know if they would be so nice as to grant you such catharsis right away. MD: Damn… It’s Grandma though. There’ll at least be cookies, right?

I like how “The” is in a place where you can almost read it as “The Mystery Case Files”, which MCF honestly deserves at this point. 21 years! That’s old enough to drink in the US!

(MD: Hm, old fashion building and clothes? Are we having some anachronistic adventure again--) CAT. Black cat. This is Isis. (MD: Not all black cats are Isis…) Yes they are. They are to me--

*Crystal ball* SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

Captions: (Otherworldly scream) Why yes, yes game, thank you for describing my exact reaction to seeing that darn crystal ball. I love this self-awareness and I hope it stays.

Oh nooooo, green beam of light… (Green was the color of souls used in old Ravenhearst games, and also the type of light that the Archivist from Moths to a Flame evaporated into, iirc.)

MD: Hm, a harbinger usually means something worse is coming up. So who’s harbinger to whom I wonder? Well you could say Emma, Madame Fate, or Victor was the harbinger to Charles, and then Charles himself was a harbinger to Alistair, who apparently was harbinger to the twins, who were also harbinger to Alistair again-- MD: Yes, I know, thank you, please stop. --and then he was harbinger to a Lord Ravenhearst who we never saw again, and then we picked it up again somehow to Phineas Crown though that was much earlier and the pirate was a harbinger of himself in a sense. In fact, I guess in a metasense, you could say each MCF game is a harbinger of the next-- MD: You haven’t even gotten past the opening so PLEASE STOP.

Hm, game difficulty settings-- no Master Detective level. Ten marks off. :( MD: Okay that’s unfair. Also Hardcore is one word. MD: Hey, I’m the pyromaniac, okay? Chill! (Me at recording: pick helpful messages, pick it! PICK IT!)

OH, a CHOICE?! Oh, wait, it’s just the main game and extra content.

THEY GAVE YOU YOUR BUGGY BACK. THEY GAVE IT BAAAAACK. AAAAAHHH. MD: Interior’s a little different, but yes, I HAVE MY CAR BACK AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW. MWAHAHAHA-- Queen: Something strange is happening in Darkmoor. MD: *Does a 180 and goes back home* [The end.] Just kidding. :P I love how all the names of the places we’re going to immediately screams DANGER. MD: If I turned back every time I heard a name like that, I would be a very different person today. Probably saner, less salty, and generally happier.

It took me a while to see clearly, but the bobblehead looks like default MD (the costume seems to be inspired by the Fate Carnival collectibles)! We can now safely assume that MD is either really afraid of the cold, or very, very desperately trying to hide their identity. MD: Don’t tell anyone… but the getup is like a security blanket. ...One that you wear?! MD: Shhhhhh not so loud…….

Queen: Several keywords related to your previous cases-- What keywords? What are they? MD: Ravenhearst? Souls? Pirates? Skulls? Crystal Ball? Madame Fate? Dire Grove? Death herself? Queen: I’m not revealing this mystery… it’ll give the whole plot away! ...Okay, I’m putting ten on Victor, twenty on Charlotte, thirty on Alistar, and a hundred on Charles-- MD: You CHEATER you were spoiled while GOOGLING. --actually, I should do a bingo board instead. Yeah, I’m gonna do that. (And then she spends ten minutes wasting time on that, before giving up. We are at… 2 minutes in of the playthrough. This is normal.)

Queen: We’ve detected a possible energy anomaly-- MD: I’m sorry, we have DONE WHAT?! You guys have technology for that??? MD: Where was this technology for like…. The past ten cases? I really could have used some of that before heading in! (Somewhere in the world, the Mystery Tracker detective hides his gadgets…) (Post video edit: Speaking off, he seems to have gone UFO now.)

*Radio fizzes out* MD: That’s not good. Um… UP AHEAD. MD: THAT’S REALLY NOT GOOD. DETECTIVE TAKE THE WHEEL!!!! MD: THIS BUGGY IS STILL ON MORTGAGE NO. (And the MD, the bobblehead, literally lost their head, lol.)

Gibs is definitely feeling the stylistic difference. I personally don’t think it detracts from the game right now, and if anything, it can open new avenues for MCF to explore. Also, awwww it’s not our old buggy, but hey, I like the red!

MD: Okay… agency device. Better use this to scan for creepy crawly energies. I’m so sad it’s not something you can get attached to… MD: I’m pretty damn attached to my new car, thank you very much. Well, the windshield is already broken, so I think it’s been marked as “readily expendable” emotionally. :P (Machine sort of reminds me of the old machine from Huntsville, actually… which did appear again in… Rewind?)

Wow, that royal decree is like… a permission slip from mom. XD MD: Enough to get people’s attention, but not enough for them to treat me seriously. You would think with lives at stake, they would send something more official? MD: If they did, I might just be out of a job, because half of my job seems to involve waiting for people to get in trouble. Also, marking this officer Davis down as “guy who might get into trouble later and need rescuing”.

...Okay, you know what the device could have been? A portable TV head. MD: I will PUNT that metal box so hard if they handed me one! Missed moment of creepy, honestly.

“The agency never ceases to amaze me”??? MD: I meant that in both the “wow, I can’t believe this is what you used our money on!” and the “wow, I can’t believe this is where you used our money instead of that other really important thing we could have had” sense. Never cease to amaze you in how disappointed you are at them, then. MD: After our last security breach, yes.

Solved Case Files, omg. And you carry it on your car.XD MD: The therapist said I needed to “express my outrage” more healthily than arson. And you made the WORLD NEWS???? Whatever happened to being the most secretive person in the world?! MD: Shhhhh let them keep guessing… (Also, Bobblehead isn’t our MD, it seems. A case of mistaken identity. Awww….)

Guy in purple: I didn’t do anything wrong! Hm, this guy is sus… also, we’re in the UK, confirmed? MD: ...As if the name didn't’ give it already. Also, SIR, SIR, YOU DROPPED YOUR purse……. Well I guess it’s my purse now.

Tarot cards as collectibles! More Madame Fate coming up?

Wow, that police station entrance was a time machine. We’re back in modern-day old town England! MD: ….pattern on floor, sus… Aaaaand power outage. Cue bars. Policeman trapped. Oops. MD: Number of people that needed rescuing is now one, and is exactly as I predicted.

Police: Um, can you come closer? I dunno man, you behind bars, pretty sus. Maybe you’re not a real police. Police: Oh please. We talking real? How about your prove you’re the real Master Detective-- MD: *Hands Queen’s note* Police: Right that’ll work. (We didn’t get to flash our badge?!)

Wait, you’re in a ROYAL AGENCY??? Did you.... change agencies or something??? MD: After the last game, can you really blame me if a headhunter came asking? Me: No but… you work for the CROWN???? MD: Hey, if me collecting stories for Grandma Queen wasn’t obvious enough, I don’t know what else to say.

Wow, an ACTUAL FLASH DRIVE. We’re actually in modern day society. XD Albeit one with really industrial looking computers. (Now I need to go and check if the old games used floppy disks…)

Witness 1: It’s not like she has a crystal ball! Suspect purple: Yeah, I’m a fair owner. Girl Aisling is a fortune reader. ...Madame Fate, Madame FATE, MADAME FATE. MD: Okay, maybe that cat WAS Isis after all. Guy: She likes watching ravens. MD and I, simultaneously: FUCK.

I have to say, the puzzles are quite refreshingly different from ones that have appeared in the past. Me likey.

Gibs sees victim photo on autopsy table: What a handsome devil he is! Me: *Dies laughing and fails to make comments for a while*

Oh wow, you can write coherently again! Actual journals! Clear sketches! (Actual cutscene replay???? TWENTY POINTS.) MD: Therapy can be a wonderful thing sometimes. ...Please tell me you’re talking actual therapy and not “I got to explode a ship and the pirates on it” therapy. MD: Well, that counts as therapy still, right?

Okay Madame Fate, if you have a daughter, or this is your granddaughter, please just descend from heaven and let us know right now. (...wait, didn’t Madame Fate have a son? The really big eater guy? Franco!) That said, it says the veil of time, which might be an allusion to the Dark Veil too.

Omg a FAX MACHINE.

Davis: Right, good luck heading into town to the victim’s home! MD: Yep! Thanks for being a rare competent soul in this universe! Really appreciate the help-- [Rose street.] MD: ...Is it too late to turn back? Yes, yes it is entirely too late. 8D Let’s gooooooooo! MD: *sighs*.

SHADOW IN JAMES’ HOUSE! SHADOW! MD: Probably Nigel. He was sneaking around already.

MENTION Of CAT. CAT. MD: ...are you broken? ...Yes. (It’s nearing 1 am. So Kitty commentary might be retroactive below.)

Huh, HOP has sections that unlock objects like in Dark Parables. Neat!

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Small town drama as usual. MD: The predictable disappointment of human nature. Why can’t I just have cases that deal with that? No supernatural stuff, just little town murder mysteries. Little Town Mystery Case Files, coming to a store near you soon! (I’ll be honest, Grandma, I would play that once, just to have MD be completely paranoid over nothing actually supernatural.)

Santa Claus Beard Guy: I hope I didn’t scare you. MD: I’ve had undead grip me through the window. A little shadow doesn’t spook me. A family whose last name begins with a D though rattles them. MD: Please don’t give away my weaknesses so quickly...

Santa Guy: So the cat kicked my ass. Can you get me some medicine? MD: Sure thing. BTW, where is this cat, and how can I recruit it to kick the asses of my enemies?

Eeeeehhhh complex door puzzles are back! Except they are now complex cupboard puzzles.

WOOOOOOOOOW that’s a LYNX if I ever saw one! MD: Hey, remember how I say I’m not good with animals? Too bad, grab the pet carrier, you’ll need it. MD: ...please don’t scratch me. Cat: *Roars* MD: *flips shit, runs and hides*

James has visited the Museum of Mysteries… And what’s with the MCF crest in his diary??? MD: Wait… Allison? ALLISON THE REPORTER??? Omg, James is her BROTHER. THEY HAVE THE SAME LAST TIME EVEN OMG. MD: ……….. I’m NOT going to be the deliverer of this bad news. Hey MD, does that curse that surrounds people associated with you extend to their families? MD: Thank you for going where my brain didn’t want to, now kindly proceed no further. Just morbidly wondering…...

MD: They… they visited all the places that my cases took place. EVEN A HOUSE I REPORTED BURNED DOWN AND EXPLODED. AND THEN CAMPED OUT IN DIRE GROVE. MY GODS ALMIGHTY YOU TWO!!!! ...These siblings don’t have a lot of self-preservation sense, huh? MD: There are some things that should NOT run in the family. This is one of them. (I’ll be honest. Just… HOW can the MD process this kind of guilt??? Kudos to you, Grandma Studios. This is possibly the most evil story choice ever, and you went there. Slow, claps. Seriously. That said there is a small plothole here with James saying he was there when MD rescued Allison. I think that might be a translation/grammar error though.)

Journal: Oh btw John worked on the Ravenhearst manor restoration. MD: *grabs John* WHY. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME AND TO THE WORLD?! John: Um….. it was work? MD: SOME PLACES ARE BETTER OFF GONE. Hey, look on the bright side. You can burn it down again as therapy! John: Oh btw, I made the elaborate locks-- MD: *Begins to strangle John* NO HOMICIDES MASTER DETECTIVE! You investigate them, not commit them! MD: TELL ME THAT AFTER I’M DONE.

MD: Okay, John. Let me be clear on one thing. You are now number one sus on my list of “The person that’s gonna betray me in the end” right now, and probably staying there. If you turn out to be one of the Dalimars or their crony in disguise, I will END YOU. Are we clear? John: ………… MD: What? John: You’re more terrifying than James’ cat--

*Another prevention of homicide later…* MD: Alright, fine. Containers, opened. Toy, fixed. “Cat”, got. Now take it and get out. John: Thanks, here is the final piece to that closet door that I totally have been keeping from you this whole time. ….Seriously???? MD: ….Like I said, top of my shitlist. *Reads the closet puzzle poem* On second thought GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE I HAVE QUESTIONS!

James is the greatest dork. He locked his special diary entries with a lock. I’m so sad we didn’t get to meet him in person. Though that said... MD: My gods, some common sense is really missing from this family’s mind. Seeds from the carnival?! A cube from probably dire grove??? How does it feel knowing you contributed indirectly to his demise? 8D MD: ...It’s like seeing someone win the Darwin award and feeling bad that you are the one handing the trophy to them.

Davis: Oh hey, a cassette? Let me go and get the camera for it. We’ll meet later! MD: Wait a second, you’re gonna end up dead if you do that! Davis: No, I’m gonna be fine! Here’s a ticket to the night market! Have fun! MD: …… ...More Darwin award nominations? MD: No. Awww….

Marge: Oh hi detective! Thank you for saving me and my daughter so many years ago! MD: …. Who are you again? *Goes to google* Oh, she’s that woman from Reverant’s Hunt…. MD: Ah, the gossip hen. My gods what’s with this town and its inhabitants… It’s like all the people connected to you which fate has yet to kill are all showing up again for a chance of going to the afterlife! 8Db MD: That would be the worst lottery ever. All in the life of being Master Detective’s friend! Forecast for percent of death: high! MD: *curls up in a corner to be depressed*

Nigel: What do you want? MD: Here are your seeds. Nigel: Okay I’m gone! MD: Right, now Aisling-- WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. Crow: Caw-caw! MD: You, you’re not Crowlister, but if you are responsible, I will make you one very bald bird.

Okay, soooooo what do we do? MD: Removed what the device can. Guess we’re down to brewing this… tea... ...I think you need this tea more than her, honestly.

“I expect these MCF references now.” XD I think the 4th wall has just been shattered into oblivion.

Aisling: I see death all around you Master Detective! MD: Thank you for stating the obvious that has been made abundantly clear by the past hour and a half of plot. Davis: Hey waddap? MD: ….*breaks down sobbing* YOU’RE STILL ALIVE THANK GOODNESS! *hugs Davis* Davis: Um… what’s going… anyway, you should look at the video.

MD: Nigel! This video here suggests something. Want to talk before I make you? Nigel: This proves nothing! Now go away, I have preparations to-- Noooooooooo! *Nigel is swallowed by the earth* ……...MD? MD: NOT IT. WASN’T ME. DEFINITELY NOT ME! You saw that right, Davis? Davis: Oh no, he’s dead! Guess we’ll need to exhume him. MD: Now hold on, that reaction is just WAAAAAY TO BLAND.

(Watched a little bit ahead. I have some theories on who Aisling might be, since Gib’s thumbnail does appear to hint at it. We’ll see where it goes!)

(Aaaaand I was right!)

[Here ends entry one. Part two is going to be even more retroactive...]

[purplesurveys]

852

All About the Letter P

Animals I Like: Penguins, pigs, pelicans, pandas, polar bears, and peacocks. Foods I Like: PIZZA ROLLS, pizza, pasta, pad thai, pain au chocolat, anything peanut butter, pulled pork, pork belly, prosciutto, paella, polvoron, pandesal, poke, potato chips. Lots of good answers in the P department haha I am one happy foodie. I Know Someone Who’s (jobs): Professor, politician, pilot, pediatrician, photographer, photojournalist, TV and radio producer, psychologist. I Wouldn’t Mind Visiting: Portugal, Philadelphia, Portland, Phnom Penh, Pyongyang, Prague. I wanna go back to Palawan, too. Sometimes I Feel: Pained, pathetic, panicky, pleasure.

Music I Listen To: PARAMOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE. Also Panic! at the Disco. Movies I’ve Seen: Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Pulp Fiction, Paris When It Sizzles, Panic Room, Paranormal Activity, Passion of the Christ, Phantom of the Opera, The Purge, Pinocchio. Names I Like: Pilar, Pippa, Paulette, Patrice, Portia, Pia. And now, onto the random questions! 1. Do you prefer pens or pencils? Pens, for sure. I don’t like how pencil writing can be erased and that you have to keep sharpening them. 2. Pretzels, popcorn, or potato chips? I’d go with the chips. I always felt like pretzels were too salty for my liking and I just hate chewing popcorn. 3. What do you like on your pizza? Four kinds of cheese ;) Hahaha I also love me a good barbecue pizza with barbecue chicken and sauce. 4. When was the last time you felt puzzled? Earlier when my mom was asking me and my dad for help making a Facebook caption but was rejecting all of our suggestions. 5. Parrots, parakeets, pelicans, peacocks, penguins, pigeons, or puffins? Ooh I love these birds but I’ll have to go with penguins. Have y’all seen that penguin documentary narrated by Benedict Cumberbatch where he kept saying the word ‘penguin’ wrong every time? Penglings, pengwings, penwangs...it’s so hilarious and so so adorable lmao. Anyway, this is a very long way to just say penguins lol. 6. Favorite way to eat potatoes? (potato salad, scalloped, baked, etc) French fries and mojos. 7. Would you ever like to meet the Pope? I’d love to meet the current one; he actually already paid the Philippines a trip around four years ago. He seems much more accepting of taboo topics than the past popes. 8. Have you ever felt like punching, pushing, or pinching someone before? I’ve felt like doing all three to different people, yes. 9. Which parades have you been to? Pride March, most recently. When I was a kid my mom and grandma also made me a part of a parade that my local community was having for Holy Week. 10. Did you ever collect pine cones as a kid? No, I don’t think we have those here. 11. Do you believe that pennies on the ground are good luck? I wouldn’t be able to relate; we don’t have pennies. 12. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. I lay my head on one and I cuddle with one. If I don’t have a cuddle pillow it’s like 3x harder for me to fall asleep. 13. Do you have any plants in your room? Hell no, haha. I’ve tried before, but I’m just awful at looking out for them. 14. Pink or purple? Pink, though purple was my childhood favorite because it had been my great-grandma’s favorite. 15. Favorite kind of pie? I don’t like pie as a whole but I will eat the shit out of pie crusts. 16. What’s the last package that you received? My dad bought a pack of those thingies that you stick to your car so that you can stick your phone on them so that it’s eazier to use GPS apps. 17. Do you like Peeps at Easter? Tried Peeps once. Wasn’t a fan. Probably won’t enjoy it at Easter either. 18. Peanuts, pine nuts, pistachios, or pecans? Pistachios. 19. Pears, peaches, plums, papayas, pomegranates, or persimmons? Heh, it’s a pass forme. 20. Pumpkins, peppers, peas, or parsnip? Peppers. 21. Do you like to paint? What? I like paint-by-number kits, but I’m definitely not an artist who can paint stuff from scratch on a blank canvas. 22. When’s the last time you felt puzzled? What about? Earlier tonight; I explained it a while ago. 23. Have you ever been called a prude before? Nope. 24. Have you ever been on a plane before? Where did you go? Yes, many times. Overseas-wise it was me headed to China, Singapore, and Indonesia. It’s a longer list if I also did local but I’ll try – Batanes, Bohol, Palawan, Cebu, Aklan, Bicol, Camarines Sur...and I’m sure there’s a couple more that I’m missing. 25. How often do you use paper clips? Not often. I prefer staplers. [a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[nefertiti-kinkyedges]

Every mothers day i feel like a fraud of a daughter. I’ve never felt so immensely about my mom the way people write big ass captions on Facebook and instagram. And im not going to write a paragraph for “show”. I always had a hard time picking cards because I genuinely didn’t feel grateful, loved or like she was my best friend. My mother used to be some i looked up to when i lived with my grandma, but ever since i started living with her i lost that connection. She wants to talk about low expectations, how i meet the lowest of her expectations when 10 years ago she never met mine. When i needed her most. Since living together our relationship has been nothing but constant bickering, her controlling me, manipulating, emotionally abusing me and in the same breath saying she doesn’t know how to love me and I should teach her lol. Im the kid, tf am I supposed to do that. She has managed to convince everyone in our family that im a problem child, i dont listen, i lie, and that me being gay is an issue. And i have said NOTHING but she will message me saying I’ve turned her friends against her and made her a laughing stock. Like own up to your shit bro, i get you tried but you failed.

[bacholeee]

2-20-21 Blog

at the time of me writing this it is 3:55 PM 2021. well it’s been awhile hasn’t it. I kind of forgot about Tumblr considering that it’s not like one of my social media accounts i go on all the time like Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat etc. well i’ll just catch you guys up on the stuff they i think is worth noting, and say what happened today. Thanksgiving i actually don’t remember, all i know is the family that doesn’t like me came. I think we watched Reservoir Dogs or something i don't know and I don’t care. Christmas came and i hated it even more. the outfit i wore that day was reminiscent of something Mick Jagger would wear. with my hair being long at the time as well. i took a few pictures in the mirror and captioned it with saying “M1ck J4gg3r wit it” my cousins came and you would not believe what happened. well let’s backtrack for a bit. earlier that day me and the co-host to my podcast were recording and during the recording my copy of A Charlie Brown Christmas on 4K came (just in time for Christmas” as they cam i unloaded all my Christmas movies i owned which was only 3 at the time. (ACBC, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Cowabunga Christmas and Home Alone) as i was watching ACBC non of my cousins came in. not even the oldest. which shocked me because she always came in. after the movie finished I went out to eat some meat tacos my grandma made. i find it ironic because the oldest is a vegetarian i don’t think she ate though. I finished my tacos and i went back into my room, turned on my speaker and began sniping away in Cold War. i was playing Satisfaction (I Can’t Get No) and other songs from the time, when out of nowhere the oldest walked in and asked “can you put the Wi-Fi password?” I got so mad, this person who i treated like a goddamn sister, waltz in here without saying a SINGLE WORD TO ME ON CHRISTMAS AND ASKS FOR THE FUCKING PASSWORD!!. but anyway I digress. i then started to get intoxicated by myself when i see a text on the podcast account which me and my friend both share. the podcast account sent a message to my ex. (its a long story) my friend then texts me on his personal account about something i don’t remember. he then went back on the podcast account and asked her why she blocked him on his personal account, although he was saying i was talking to her. me being drunk I saw it was so funny. my ex explained that someone hacked her account and blocked a bunch of accounts, on both snapchat and Instagram. although she doesn't elaborate if her social media’s were hacked or her OS was. i then broke the conversation saying that my friend was the one pretending it was me and such. me and my ex then started to catch up but she’s Hella slow at replying, and it’s annoying. later that night Whole Lotta Red by Playboi Carti dropped and I sat through the whole thing my uncle and his family left by then thank god. I was the first one to say i actually liked it. after all these tiktok bandwagon's joined in (god i hate that app and it’s creators. there either always racist, or pedophiles.) later that night we started opening presents. my grandma gave me 50 dollars, my other grandma gave me a red flannel and the rest of my aunts gave me money. my dad actually gave me 2 gifts. a watch and a hoverboard. he knew that i wanted a skateboard and i guess he got me a hoverboard. lol???. anyway i woke up on Christmas morning to see it was snowing. i was happy cause we usually never get snow on Christmas, later on we went to my cousins house who ACTUALLY LIKED ME AND ARE PROUD TO CALL THEM MY BROTHERS, I haven’t seen them due to the pandemic so we catch up and talk then i left and nothing much happened. oh yeah i saw the trash known as wonder woman 1984. we skip to New Year’s eve and my dad took me to the comic shop since we havent been there all 2020. after i got Kingdome come I decided to restart my graphic novel collection as my last one that i got was Detective Comics #1000. i already knew what i was gonna grab and that was Trinity War. we left and then we went to Wal-Mart. as i got home i saw a dozen notifications from my friend. i got home connected it to my phone as it was dying, and called my friend. he told me that one of my favorite rappers MF DOOM died. i couldn’t believe it. when artist die or, any celiberty you feel attatched through their work it almost feels like it didn’t happened because you feel like you knew them for a long time. I broke the news on my social meda and my friend didn’t believe it, even threw a classic MF DOOM rhyme in there. i then shortly after announce my next mixtape inspired by DOOM. I asked my parents if i could spend New Year’s eve with my cousins i hung out on Christmas. they agreed and we hung out. i looked on my phone and some girl who i think likes me replied to my story saying if i need to someone to talk to she’s there. me and my cousins played Fortnite and then watched Ant-Man and The Wasp. I then came home at around 8 or so. my grandma made some posolie for me and my uncle and his family. my grandma told me that my Uncle and the oldest came, although the oldest looked angry and didn't want to be there. well anyway i went to bed missing the big ball drop. anyway lets just skim through what led up to today. so i have been catching feeling’s for my ex again and we’ve been kind of flirting back in fourth although i can tell she doesn’t wanna get into a relationship again and i guess she’s my hoe. call me a Pimp name Slipback. me and my co-host ended the podcast and i added my ex to the boys group chat and now i think i’m gonna have to take her out since my friends in it don’t really like the new member. today i woke up early at 4:30 then went back to bed. i woke up at 7:50 ish i turned on my phone to watch the new Power Rangers show then i saw at the listings and saw that it already passed. guess different time zones. I went to bed again and my mom woke me up to my mom saying goodbye cause she went to work. then i got up and ate breakfast. i then texted my ex asking when we started dating. 2 hours later she answered. we kept talking and i guess i got the sense of she doesn’t want to date me again. guess i can just call her if I’m horny. won’t tell her my fetish because i don’t trust her. then I finished reading Darkseid War. then i just stayed in bed and watched YouTube. today was probably one of those days i felt depressed lol.  

[fireflythecinnamonjollyrancher]

hello it is once again time for my end of the year wrap up. this should be... interesting

january

finally finally got to have a happy apartment experience!!!!! tried out tea drops which are dope. there was a fair amount of stress revolving around APO induction and the musical rehearsal, but we made it!!! partied hardy (the infamous tess in the washing machine incident) kelli was watching always sunny more often than not. i wore some arguably bad clothing but ya know. gays. we tried to take off my closet door (it did NOT work). the beginning of the goose saga! there was a sleet storm so kelli and i made some popcorn and watched mike birbiglia’s new special. darci, kelli and i went out to eat and then ended up in babcock playing air hockey before watching videos with kai who was on duty. PEP BAND???? some good memories formed there. dogs in the library! got bullied by my library boss to put gas in my car and i sent her a video of proof that i did it “daddy long legs” “stop. what?” “the musical” (i do love timothy) i actually practiced my instrument lol wild. WE (becky, celeste, timothy and i) WATCHED SPIRIT and got wildly drunk -- the origin of “[redacted] [redacted] who???” which is my favorite joke.

february

MORE PEP BAND im actually really glad i spent my last few college months dicking around with the band. one man drumline!!! kai made some good tiktoks in our apartment! miss hanging with them it was really fun. oh i hung out with sam and celeste watching movies “he was a boy, she was a dolphin, can i make it anymore [strangled dolphin noises]” OUR MICROWAVE HANDLE BROKE OFF while kelli was gone man that entire apartment was falling apart (hey dumbass grab from top) -- a list of things that were broken in our apartment: fridge light, front entry light, showerhead, phone. the birth of the beans insta!!!! got hit on when i was at taco bell with timothy by being accused of being trans (taco bell guy was not far off to be fair). oh the improv posters as compared to the posters i built for an organization fair. went out and got daRUNK at what appears to be wandas. really struggled with my period. cut hair with kelli n darci. MOZZ STICKS. “you still a lil bitch???” oh we did kpy pal-entines!!! where we ate good food and watched the princess bride!!! i received the plush goose. there was a possible bombing at the bank next door to where we rehearsed for band. aw i went on a tommy’s date with becky that was cute. they tried to STEAL the QUESO. disagreed with a curb and still have those scars. worked a horrible gig at the theatre. closing shifts at the library baby! middle school tours EW more library dogs! fish hooks song oh my god. drunk mash nights!!! i rewatched HAVEN and had lots of feelings. actually got drunk alone a lot which was Bad. however michael malloys birthday! watched choir concert at work lol. stats final whilst drunk!!!! becky got a piercing

march

here things go downhill rapidly. hit up the trains at least once. oh late library nights with timothy!!!! the best nights i miss hanging with him while at work. struggled with my car. went on a college sponsored adventure to a back alley farm. SCURVY FEARS. opening shifts that were lonely. oh celeste played plague and named it covid and won lol yikes. the infamous apartment cone. we stayed up long enough to see the sunrise on literally the last day in college I would ever have. that was good. I FOUND OUT KELLI HAD GLASSES im still pissed. came home indefinitely. went to st patty’s day at brookes with karrigan and that was SO much fun (this was before things seemed real) the best part of that was the irish pub owner who happened to have a son that went to my college. got my mom onto tik tok. took a gay lit class. can’t believe i took daily fckn walks around the pasture who was i. hosted virtual meetings for apo and played around with the closed captioning. that was fun. shaved my moms head lmaooo. worked on my capstone which im like super proud of? i wish i could have directed it but say law vee. 

april

BAGPIPE CORPS INTERNATIONAL. virtual band wreaked havoc on my animals mental health. my grandmother would always bug me while i was working which i understand now was misplaced love but it was so irritating at the time. we had library meetings once a week or so that was vital to mental health. hosted a really fun “panel” about queer identity for my queer lit class that was able to educate a lot of people. having a capstone class with am*lia was a nightmare. watched a cirque du soleil show for free and lost my mind. wrote a comedic monologue that i suffered through. suffered through papers and projects. worked on a project with celeste and kelli and we had SUCH a good time. i hosted several jackbox nights for both apo and kpy. that was SUCH an exhausting experience. also uno and drawful with the uno group (kelli would win 100% of the time). ranted about group projects lol i struggled. OH THE MOVE OUT DEBACLE i really went off the deep end. kelli’s virtual birthday!!!!

may

we had so many good jackbox nights. academic showcase and honors convocation happened wherein i was name bronco award winner and that really wrecked me too lol. we had a sunday crew hang out for library workers. clarinet game night too! i tried so hard to build community during covid and im not altogether sure i accomplished it but ya know whatever. watsky broke the record! made my “aced it” grad cap which was so FUNNY and still is tbh. becky taught me how to do makeup. took grad pictures at an abandoned farmhouse lol OH MY GOSH BEAUX ARTS AND APO SKIT i was so proud of that night and annette said it was the best one we’d ever had. wish i had done more but we did it boys. also got VERY drunk for it lol completely redid my room. bc it was NASTY. the way i write papers is so SO funny to me. had our last capstones class and then dressed in grad outfits for our last lit meeting . graduated and got all my stuff from college finally. went shopping with timothy, had el puerto with becky (i think?). oh the infamous miller moths UGH shit is nasty. THE FORMING OF BANJO SHRIMPS occurred on may 24 2020 and that was the absolute best thing to come out of this year. started working at my dads agency which was the absolute worst thing to come out of this year. attended my first protest in cos which was good and healthy. started protesting regularly after that. my most poignant memory was laying down in front of city hall and chanting “i cant breathe” for 8 minutes. 

june

it snowed???? i was angry. part of my job was reading my dad’s email and there was some WACKO shit in there. went to brookes for pride as a surprise which was cute n fun. had a horrible interaction with a client. the appearance of the bigfoot statue!!!! we had a vanilla beans hang out. there was a WILD storm that literally made my hide out in the office. 

july

went on a bonkers rant about america bc fuck this place. helped mom out with homework. we had several clients get divorces which was messy. went to a Bad party where i was angry the whole time. went to the top of pikes peak with my grandma and saw many much bigfoot things. we got a GOOSE he hated us so much. oh there was a night where darci and kai came over and we hijacked kelli’s spotify and communicated that way it was SO funny. took a video of the dichotomy of man bc of my long ass leg hair and short ass head hair. shaved my head to the BONE and tried dragon fruit. GOT NIKO ON JULY 24 my sweet sweet boy lil bat looking motherfucker. got denied for life insurance for mental health reasons. 

august

went back to hc for a birthday “party” and to see the band. did a lot in that weekend (stayed with timothy’s family, helped becky move, met kelli’s look-alike, saw timothy and karlie’s new house!!! had lunch with kellis family which is closest to “meet my parents” i think i’ll ever get lmao). got my prof headshots and hate every single one of them but more for self esteem reasons lol. neighbors got goats and my mom lost her marbles. got trapped in traffic on the way back from hc. niko had crackhead energy. oooooooh documented gender crisis. ma got more chickens. went to a birthday party for a high school friend and was just... so out of my element. its weird. took off my grandma’s bathroom door bc she had knee surgery. started a full time job as my grandmother’s caretaker (love working for the family business lol).

september

went to breckenridge with a friend!!!!!! spicy times lol. cleaned the cupboard. had a birf. turned 22. cas finished her drugs!!!! and felt much better. we did a charcuterie board for my birthday which was very fun. Got a mixer set!!! went to hc for homecoming and graduated!!!!! surprised celeste and hannah with a celebration party for them (it was a lot of fun). came up with my BEST joke (summa cum laude). got called tf out for my gender crisis via tarot. got the goose game!!!! played the goose game!!!!

october

applied to chicago center!!!! will now be working there for a year!!!! this was the first documentation of banjo shrimp nights. surprised my dad for boss day by working with the team to fill his office with balloons. house sat for dad’s friends. started taking showers in the dark. went to celestes and made PASTA wow got very drunk and while she slept i just explored a strangers house. voted!!!!! wow. finally (finally) started to accept that i was maybe agender. had a snow day but i couldn’t work so that was fun. had halloween with banjo shrimps where i dressed up as david rose. that was SUCH a good night. participated in ace week!!! then, dressed as radar for actual halloween and had monumental. worked a volunteer haunted house and like... actually did pretty good?? felt like a real adult!!!!

november

so many things happened in november. i finished miraculous ladybug on netflix. had another bad interaction with a client bc the customer is always wrong. shaved my head. PRESENTATION NIGHT to distract from the election lmao what a good time. had so many emotions about the election. then biden won and we lost our damn minds -- video called with celeste and becky to celebrate (with the reminder that we know that this doesn’t solve everything but it was such a huge sigh of relief). started watching the last kids on earth. made more PASTA and soup! got my GHOSTY TATTOO. kahoot night with the banjo shrimps lol. watched the supernatural finale with kelli (what good memories) rewatched 3below good shit. got the chicago job so i quit being an insurance person!!!! brooke came for thanksgiving!!!

december

i dont wanna talk about it but i finally started watching unus annus (theres an archive its not the same but it provided me wild amounts of serotonin). “call that invisible split dye”. crimmus. had a video call with people from high school i rarely if ever see. this entire month has been a fuckin blur my guys but i’m so excited for what’s next. in two days i will be in an apartment in chicago. i will be reunited with my best friend in a little under two weeks. i cannot emphasize enough how excited i am for this next chapter. so yeah. that was my year. im sure there was more memories but that’s what the sideblog is for lol

[alia15]

2020: Who Saw THIS Coming?

Remember when I retired from blogging?

I actually did retire, except, I consider this little corner of the Internet -- MY corner -- to be a place where I document the big stuff. I told you about my engagement and then came back several months later to recap my wedding. Remember that? The wedding that THANKFULLY occurred in late 2019 before the world turned to shit??

Yeah. You know what happened. “The pandemic.” “The virus.” “Covid.” Covid-19″ (I personally prefer the first five Covids; I feel like they really fell off after that). “CORONAVIRUS.” 

THE DUMPSTER FIRE THAT IS...2020.

Suuuuuuuuure, good ol’ Rona robbed Leo and me of our Italian honeymoon, but aside from that? We were able to squeeze in all kinds of fun things in good ol 2019 -- oh how I miss you, 2019 -- and have an unforgettable year. This year is proving to be unforgettable too -- just, ya know -- in like, a traumatizing sorta way.

Anyway, as I was saying, I have to document the big stuff on here. I imagine myself reading and looking back on this blog like an old, embarrassing diary (hell, I do it already) (the dating posts make me want to die) and who can omit THIS chapter? It’s got it all: a deadly virus, racially fueled riots and protesting, social injustice, a deranged madman in the oval office, and... MURDER HORNETS?

exactly. 

So rather than write out a whole long thing about my experience in 2020, I thought I’d break it down by month, starting in March. I’m going to be documenting the good, the BAD (there’s a decent amount of that), and anything new that transpired in that time frame. Did I take up any hobbies? Start baking sourdough? I guess you’ll find out. 

Let’s start with: 

MARCH. 

The good. There was immediately a novelty to this whole Covid-19 thing. In the first half of the month I was commuting, going to work in my NYC office, and doing my usual amount of social things on weekends. When it was decided in mid-March that we’d have to work and stay home for a “bit” (lol), there was something exciting about it. We made jokes about social distancing and masks and had cutesy puns for “quarantining.” We hit the ground RUNNING with Zoom calls/video chats. There was something fun and exhilarating about all this.

The bad. People I KNOW got this virus. People I know LOST people to this virus. My Grandma’s health took a turn and things did not look good, but I couldn’t go see her. Shit, I didn’t see ANYONE except Leo, and even he was going to work in his office every day. I had to get used to this abrupt abundance of...alone time. 

What’s new? I’ve always taken to social media as a creative outlet, but I QUICKLY started using it more -- and differently -- once things in the world got hairy. I treated my Instagram like my one gateway to the outside world, because it was: I surveyed my followers and asked how they were doing. I took silly videos talking to myself in the mirror. I wrote long captions on my photos letting everyone know what my experience was like. I tried to entertain those who were stuck at home, as I was, and needing an escape. 

Oh, and ya know... Tiger King.

APRIL.

The good. The weather was getting nicer, so Leo and I took advantage and often went for walks around our complex and even a local trail/preserve in our town. We started doing “lawn visits” to see our families from a distance, and that helped. For two people who were used to seeing their ‘people’ regularly, 3-4 weeks of not seeing them took a toll. I also started doing “Grateful April” on Instagram, where I shared a few things each day that made me happy/appreciative. Some followers of mine followed suit, which was awesome to see. 

The bad. Hmm, I think all this sitting and lack of moving is hurting my back? (#foreshadowing). Also, ENOUGH with the Zoom calls and “virtual happy hours,” for the LOVE OF GOD! Oh, and that “novelty” I mentioned in March? That wore off quickly, and a lot of us started to feel weird, sad, isolated, uneasy, unproductive and stir-crazy. Myself included.

We were also reminded that this was the month we were supposed to depart for our honeymoon. Ugh.

What’s New? I did some arts & crafts (I painted ceramic bowls I bought from Target), gave myself a mediocre pedicure, found new/creative ways to engage and interact with folks on social media (polls, asking questions like “what’s in your Amazon cart?” and “who sponsors your quarantine?”), and got to see what it was like to have a husband with hair. I also discovered my love of tie-dye and wore...a lot of it. 

Oh, and I was on CBS news talking about screen time. Iconic. 

MAY.

The good. The weather got summer-like and I definitely felt a MAJOR shift in my mood. Leo and I spent more time outside on our deck: listening to music, making margaritas, talking to neighbors. I even took work calls outside and got some much-needed Vitamin D. I had my first real “beach days” (bathing suit, chair and all). I started to FINALLY see my family in person; first, outside only -- and then eventually indoors.  

The bad. Ahmaud Arbery. George Floyd, obviously. Dumb-dumbs protesting the lock-down and demanding haircuts. CLEARLY more to come on this. (See: June)

Oh, and my back pain? WAY worse.

What’s new? Some more arts and crafts: I started painting shells I found on the beach (lol).  I bought a pair of Crocs and documented the most absurd series on social media where I paired the heinous footwear with items that rhymed (Crocs & socks, Crocs & shamrocks, Crocs & botox...you get the idea.) I experimented with a few new recipes (made lemon poppy muffins & homemade vodka sauce). I re-watched Mad Men and it made me miss my office and coworkers. 

JUNE. A rough one. 

The good. We started doing more social things with our families: BBQs, celebrating Father’s Day, our nephew’s baptism. Doing this truly felt like “normalcy” and in those moments, we’d forget about all the garbage going on around us. I also decided (yes, after 3 friggin months of lock-down) that I needed to start exercising; something I needed for my physical AND mental health. I thought it could help my back -- which, yes, was feeling worse as time went on -- and it did make me feel good to spend a little time each day walking, jogging, lifting weights and just MOVING. 

The bad. Um? Everything? For starters, the racial tension in the country came to a head and erupted in a MAJOR way -- and while the protests and all the #BlackLivesMatter movements were a positive thing, it absolutely brought out the WORST in so many others. There was rioting, looting and violence. Racism ran RAMPANT. Karens went wild. “Covidiots” were ENRAGED about being told to wear masks. There was police brutality and a President who threw fuel into the fire. Tensions and emotions were at an all-time high and we all got a harsh dose of reality that this country has SO FAR TO GO in regards to equality and civil rights and even basic human decency. I was -- and still am -- sad for this country.

Also? I finally went for an MRI on my back and found out I have two herniated discs; well THAT certainly helps explain things! Shortly after, I pull my back out entirely, and could not walk or move. The pain is excruciating; debilitating and I think, “can things get any worse?” and then...

My Grandma passes away. 

It hurts. It still does. It was inevitable -- as death is, especially given her age and health condition at the time -- but it still felt like taking a bullet. I will always be grateful that I was able to get to see her one day before she passed away to say goodbye, but it’s hard not to be resentful that she didn’t get the memorial service and send-off she so deserved because of the pandemic.

(Side note: read about my amazing Grandma HERE)

In short, June sucked.

What’s new? We got a new stationary bike and set it up outside on the deck which was awesome, and I ended the month getting some epidural shots at the spine doctor. While the (strong) meds and injections didn’t exactly *cure* my issue, they made things a LOT better. Leo and I also drove into NYC (my first time there in MONTHS!) so I could go get my migraine Botox treatment at my neurologist. 

I voted by mail (which is not fraudulent, by the way) (#eyeroll) in the NY Primary. 

I also got not one, but TWO, amazing rainbows the week my grandmother passed away. I needed those, and I’d like to think she knew that.

JULY.

The good. More beach days and some consistent amazing weather (thanks, Mother Nature!). I started seeing a chiropractor twice a week and quickly respond REALLY WELL to treatment and start feeling a lot better. I put things into perspective and realize how lucky I am to live where I do -- on the beach -- and get to enjoy all this newfound free time doing things I enjoy. We also celebrate some family birthdays and have a small family gathering in honor of our beloved Dorothy. 

Have you noticed that “seeing family” always ends up in my “good” section?

The bad. Naya Rivera died unexpectedly, John Lewis died, REGIS died. Our President remains as unhinged as ever, we desperately want to #FreeBritney, and Kanye West has a really sad, scary and concerning, uh, episode. He’s also running for President, maybe? Or not? On a personal note, Leo and I tried to eat dinner on the beach one night and LIT-rally got attacked by seagulls. Weeks later, bull sharks are spotted in the ocean RIGHT WHERE WE LIVE, and they prohibit swimming. 

What’s new? Hamilton on Disney+: need I say more? The fig tree that’s been on our deck for three summers FINALLY started to grow figs! I re-watched Broad City and it is just... *chef’s kiss* perfection. Taylor Swift releases her album ‘folklore’ and I listen on repeat for seven days straight.

AUGUST.

Well, who knows? We’re not there yet. 2020 has certainly been a ride (and it’s not over yet; dear GOD), and I still can’t believe it ended up being this insane year, unlike anything I’ve EVER experienced. And while it undoubtedly has come with its fair share of challenges, it has also come with some blessings.

I have all this extra time now and I make a point to use it productively (most days). I log off from working and go outside, I walk the beach, go in our complex pool, ride the stationary bike, catch up with friends/family on the phone, read, and watch/re-watch shows.

The commute and hustle and bustle of every day in my pre-pandemic life would make me stressed and anxious; I was constantly snoozing alarm clocks, rushing in the mornings, dealing with overcrowded/delayed trains, and getting home late each night. 

Life has become slower, in a good way, and it’s made me appreciate the simple things. I care less about material things and more about the basics: enjoying nice weather/the outdoors, my home, my husband, my family and close friends.

I genuinely stopped caring about getting my hair and nails done, going out to dinner, getting dolled up, or traveling. Don’t get me wrong: I enjoy all these things and I’ll of course do them again, but this whole situation made me realize that what I need *most* in this world are the simple joys that money can’t buy.

And for that? I’m grateful. 

*stay safe, friends.*

[jfg22]

Quarantine and chill

Man... this YouTuber is too real. I love listening to psychology and philosophical youtube videos. She said she refuses to think about the past like oh what if things happened differently. Because it is completely pointless since we can’t change it. I am listening to her talk about how she changed her narrative about her past. She said she will refuse to tell her origin story of her as a tale of victimhood. Apparently she was sexually assaulted in college and her father passed away at a young age and she doesn’t talk about it anymore. It’s the reason she is successful, and the lessons she learned from what she went through. Same sis....but I’m not yet a successful author. lol. (And I’m so lucky my father didn’t die but he did go through cancer. I wish I could say I was not sexually assaulted in college but at least I wasn’t raped...which is a whole other can of worms I’m not getting into on here). Yeah I wasn’t dealt easy cards either. Who the fuck has?  

On a personal level. I am working on my writing again. If this quarantine has gotten me anything positive is that I have been trying to be more mindful of how I use my time. I’ve been eating healthy-ish. Yes I still eat pizza once a week and on rare occasion maybe even twice....don’t judge me. But at least the rest of the week I’m eating some veggies and protein almost daily. Today was a pancake/pizza day because I finally saw my nieces. At least my dinner was a nice grilled chicken, sweet potato gnocchi and green beans. Tomorrow I will see what I can cook up.  

I’ve been trying to set a routine of reading a chapter in 2 creative writing books I got last week. But one of the books is so dense sometimes. I read a blurb in it about how our minds purposely want to take short cuts. So basically our minds try to self sabotage us into looking at bullshit on google or whatever instead of getting shit done. I set timers on my phone so I don’t waste time down the social media rabbit hole. I’m cutting another half hour back so I hope it helps. 

I got stuck on another exercise where I have to think about what my strengths are as a writer and for some reason I find it so fucking hard to compliment myself. I’ve no idea why. I can name all my flaws so easily but when I have to sit down and say some positive shit about myself I still have to think... ugh....what are my strengths? Why is it so much more easy to tear myself down?

I’ve been trying to exercise daily but my body is so tired sometimes. It literally feels like my body is saying bitch! Sit the fuck down! You are still sore from whatever it is you did yesterday. It’s been more like 2-3 days in a row and rest or ....2-3 days in a row and a shorter low impact workout. It’s so hard trying to do an ab workout for 10-20 minutes daily. wtf? I’ve yet to figure out how to sleep with all these damn birds chirping at night and this hot ass heat. So I’m trying to listen to my body and today. Well it was a rest day. It is what it is. I thoroughly enjoyed making pancakes with my older niece. And the little one running around gave me a workout too. wtf? My respect to moms and grandma’s/all caretakers out there. Y’all doing God’s work. Literally! (Also working out is good for my physical and mental health...again trying to get out of my writing rut!)

Bonus, I’ve been trying to learn Korean because Parasite blew my mind! I want to know if the subtitles were accurate (don’t laugh at why I want to learn Korean. There’s method to my madness). One of my psychology books that it triggers your brain to think differently when you learn another language to It contributes to overall mental health and my writing. I uploaded Duolingo the other day to test it out but for some reason since it’s spelled phonetically in English it confuses me because I’ve been following along a Spanish speaker teaching Korean. I practically know all the consonants and single vowels. Still working on my double vowels and double consonants.... I can sorta read it and sound out some words if I do it slowly. It’s kind of fun. Like figuring out a puzzle. Still not sure what some of it means even if I can sound it. lol. The irony is not lost on me.  Also as a Spanish speaker I can honestly say I find it so annoying sometimes when I read the English captions to Spanish films or tb shows and I know it’s not even close to what it means. All the while I sit there and think who the fuck translated? 

I know this seems like a lot and it probably is. But perhaps this was the swift kick in the ass I needed to feel some semblance of productivity. Because I still somehow feel that I am not productive enough. At least now that I read it....I can see that I am wrong. Well then...It was not all for naught. Fun fact writing for 15 minutes a day also helpful for my writing.

[leahwithanidea]

19 Dec 2018 - THEREFORE, O YE THAT EMBARK IN THE SERVICE OF GOD

They're in! They're in! My evaluations have been sent to Church HQ! As most of you know, I was only called to serve in the Pittsburgh mission for 3 months, so now that my 3 months are coming to an end, this week I was evaluated on how well I am adjusting to missionary life in order to determine if I will be called to serve the remaining 15 months of my Mission and where I will be serving during those months. The evaluation process consisted of 3 simple things: an online form that my Mission President, my good man President Bednar, filled out with his recommendation (which he told me he basically wrote YES YES SEND HER TO SERVE ANOTHER 15 on it), an online form that my companions and previous companion filled out (which was a lil bubble sheet basically that asked if I do all the things in supposed to as a missionary like get up on time, exercise, study, go out and teach, talk to people, etc.), and an online form I filled out (which was a bubble sheet like the one my companions did, just a little more personal). And then we all clicked submit and they were in! Yeehaw. Now I am just waiting to be sent an email telling me where I will be serving as a missionary next!

For those of you curious as to what missionary life is like, I will outline the typical schedule, along with things I typically do during this time: 

6:30am - arise. My knees hit the floor and I begin the day with a prayer. 

6:45am - exercise. My companions and I do yoga or circuits or little workouts for 30 minutes.

7:15am - we all start getting ready for the day. I eat a dandy lil breakfast, wash my face, get dressed, do my hair in a lil do, and then I put the dishes from the drying rack away. 

8:30am - daily planning. We spend 30 minutes planning out what we will be doing that day.

9am - personal study. We all study on our own for an hour. I read the bible, the Book of Mormon, and Preach My Gospel (the missionary manual that outlines the doctrines we teach people)

10am - companion study. We all study together for an hour! We talk about what we will teach the people we are meeting with for lessons that day and how we can best help them. We read scriptures together, make lesson plans, etc.

11am - new missionary training. Since Sister Hobson and I are in our first 12 weeks of being a missionary, we spend an extra 30 minutes studying and practicing teaching so we won't biff it in the real world. 

11:30am - lunch! We have 30 minutes to eat.

12pm-5pm - work our butts off. We go out and teach people and/or find people to teach. This includes having lesson appointments in person or via video chat, talking with people on the streets, knocking on peoples doors in neighborhoods, doing selected community service.

5pm - dinner! We have an hour to eat. So we eat. And are filled. 

6pm-9pm - work our butts off again. Since this is the time in which people are home from work and with their families, we are out again, teaching, knocking on doors, finding people who are interested in learning. Some nights we have one lesson appointment after the other, other nights we pick a neighborhood and knock doors for 3 hours.

9pm - come home, wind down, get ready for bed. I shower, write in my journal, read my scriptures.

10:30pm - all of our heads hit our pillows.

Violà! That is the missionary schedule. That's my typical life and I LOVE IT. 

Some highlights from this week are pictures below, which I will caption in more detail.

I just love being a missionary. That's what this week's email is mostly about. Serving as a full-time missionary is serving God! Every day I wake up and follow this schedule that the prophet of God on earth today has asked all of us missionaries to follow, and I can't help but feel that what I am doing and how I am living is what God wants me to be doing. I have truly embarked in the service of God! God loves all His children--everyone who has lived, is living, and will live on this earth. He wants us all to learn of Him, to come unto Him, to live the gospel of Jesus Christ. And that's why He sends missionaries out into the world! That's why He has sent me. He has sent me to Pittsburgh because He loves His children here. He has sent missionaries to the Philippines, to New Zealand, to England, to Portugal, to Slovenia, to India, to Canada, to Brazil, to all these places because He loves all these people. WOW. 

I love you all so much and I know God loves you too 

Sister Leah Gaush Pittsburgh, PA 

Flicks:

1. Evaluation scheduled into our plan for the day. Sneak peek at the app we use to plan out our days and keep track of everything we have to do.

2. Regal. Me on my chair I sit in to do studies every day, wearing some slippers my grandma made me. Shout out to grandma.

3. My desk.

4. My companions and I in Pittsburgh. Peep my hair sticking up LOL.

5. Served at a senior center in cranberry this week. I do not enjoy hairnets and will never be a lunch lady. That's that.

6. We decorated our apartment door for Light the World. Caught me mid-laugh.

[etouffante-x]

August 2nd, 2018; false alarm

My one and only resolution for 2019 was to be (to a reasonable extent) more vulnerable and open, be it letting people in, letting people understand me, or letting people love me. It already sounds so fucking difficult lolllll, but I’m going to do it because I know it’s a place I need to grow - I can’t keep my walls up forever.

Ahhhhhhhhhh, I still get emotional reading my feelings from this time, but here it is, only slightly edited from the initial draft:

__________________________________________________________

August 2nd, 2018 probably around 3AM

Happiness is rarely ever a catalyst for writing - it is often the difficult situations and the accompanying trying emotions that motivate us to write: being in love, anger, frustration, grief,

sadness.

Today, I write about my mom.

I have these thoughts. Like how this might be the first (of many; all) Thanksgivings we will have without her, Christmases, birthdays, accomplishments, milestones. How my dad will have to learn how to cook and learn how to pay the bills. How she won’t see me get my PhD. How she won’t be able to see or hear me play piano anymore. How I should’ve taken more pictures of her smiling face or more pictures with her.

I am at my emotional wits’ end.

I feel like I will break at any moment.

There are times when I am calm with chaotic undercurrents threatening to rupture my controlled facade, and then there are times when I just cry and cry and ugly cry. Nothing helps - talking it out or trying to distract myself - it is there, staring me in the face, her mortality.

Mom’s been in the hospital since the beginning of July, right when I began my week-long vacation in Portugal. When she said she was in the hospital, I had only begun talking to her again after the massive fight she had with my sister in DC (because I took my sister’s side). At first it was pneumonia. She was old and getting pneumonia is common in people her age, I told myself. I didn’t think much of it, even when she was transferred to the ICU. Whether it was hopeful naivete or plain stupid naivete, I couldn’t tell you. My thought was that they simply moved her there because they couldn’t figure out what bacteria was causing the pneumonia (one of my fatal flaws is I could [over]rationalize anything). But then she was there for a week. Kelly told me later when we were talking about it that she was really worried because her grandma (who passed away from lung cancer recently) started out the same way.

When I got back from my vacation, a very weird set of coincidences and twists of fate happened: the weekend immediately following my return, I was supposed to fly to New York City for Panorama (a music festival). I arrived at the airport for my flight, which was already delayed from the original time. As I sat there watching the screen, the flight got delayed another 30 minutes; 10 minutes later, the delay became 1.5 hours. Another 10 minutes later, the flight was cancelled altogether. I was really tired. I grappled with the decision to either just go back home and stay that weekend or try to switch my flight to Boston to see my mom, with a slight chance that flights to Boston would also be cancelled. But then I receive an email that Panorama was cancelled for the day that I was originally going to go and that refunds would be issued within 3-5 business days. I stood in that long line waiting to talk to an agent about changing my flight.

“Hello, since my flight is cancelled, could I just get a refund for my flights to and from NYC”? “Sure, give me a minute.”

.....

“Actually, what would the fee be to switch the inbound and outbound flights to go to and from Boston instead?” “We could change your flight at no extra cost, the earliest flight to Boston would be tomorrow around 7 AM.”

I went back to my apartment, scheduled a Lyft for 4:30 AM, and went to bed.

To summarize my short weekend trip home to see my mom: Day 1 - my dad picked me up from the airport and we got breakfast together at the hospital cafe and talked very quietly and calmly about anything but my mom’s condition. We picked up some soup for her on the way up to her room. We were all exhausted. - the nurses were so kind. - I wanted to strangle the thoracic surgeon who came to take out my mom’s chest tube. She had gotten a lung biopsy done so that they could run labs and tests - dear LAWD I was NOT ready for this at all. The first time he tried to yank it out, he forgot to remove the stitches that held it in place. It took everything in me to not lash out and then lunge across the bed to slap him upside the head (imagine trying to quickly yank out something that is physically attached to your skin). Then after he got the stitches out, it was go-time. I nearly fainted I shit you not. I held my mom’s hand as the surgeon yanked out a nearly 2 foot long tube from my mom’s back (that was in her chest!!!) as her face just scrunched up in pain. I knew from my neuroscience background that you can make pain feel less... painful, by “distracting” the body with pain in another part, so since I was holding her hand tightly, I started squeezing hard and slapping it gently and rubbing it and talking to her so she wouldn’t focus on the pain. I really don’t know if it worked. I probably needed to slap harder. Lol. - I didn’t want to leave, but she was finally able to rest a bit more comfortably with the chest tube removed, and my dad and I went home. My heart broke a little knowing she’d feel lonely and scared by herself in that sterile hospital room.

Day 2: - my dad and I picked up some Vietnamese food for my mom since she was craving some actual food and was feeling up to eat. The way she eagerly ate made me so happy. - she was being moved out of the ICU, so we met her at her new room, which was more spacious and had more sunlight. A little comfy-er. A little less hospital-y. She slept most of the time I was there, but my dad and I bonded by my forcing him to take the Myers-Briggs test. I was thoroughly surprised (he’s an ESFJ). Lmao. - my dad took me to the airport and I flew back.

I left feeling hopeful. A few days after I got back home, though, we got a diagnosis: pulmonary fibrosis. The resident who called me with this information was wholly unhelpful. I asked what the treatment plan would be. I asked what the chances are of a wrong diagnosis. What the fuck is pulmonary fibrosis? Shouldn’t doctors sound more sure of themselves and have more information to divest if they’re going to call with a preliminary diagnosis? But I did my research: at the most, 2.5-3.5 years to live, with the average being about 6 months to a year.

I cried so much that night. I didn’t have the heart or the courage to tell my sister. There were so many things I still wanted to ask my mom and know about her: What was her childhood like in Vietnam? What’s her favorite poem? What foods does she hate? Who’s her favorite sibling?

I think of all these things in hindsight - I never wanted to get close/attached to people because - in the end, someone always has to leave. And I cannot bear the pain or sadness. Alas, I’ve become that kid who feels guilty because they didn’t appreciate their mom enough before it was too late - who didn’t text enough, call enough, visit home enough; wasn’t patient enough, gentle enough, loving enough. I have failed to do so many things I should have and I am lacking in being all that I should have been for them.

Today, when I called her, was the second time in my life that I heard her cry. She said she feels bad leaving me and my sister behind, with nothing; and that she worries about us - I told her not to worry. She said she feels sad that she might not get to see me graduate, her legacy, and that if it’s her time to go, then she will go. I thought of walking down that stage to get my PhD in my beret, and the caption that was supposed to be “I did it for the beret” being changed to “this one’s for you, Mom.” I thought of how she sacrificed her whole life for our family, with nothing - nothing - given back to her in return. She never took a vacation anywhere, never saw the world, but gave the world to us.

Perhaps this is her rest - a lifetime of sacrifice and oftentimes one-sided, unconditional love, rewarded with a breath at last (oh the fucking irony).

The doctors were/are infuriatingly incompetent and ill-informed. And I cannot stop crying. I think about how I will feel her loss forever, feel that emptiness in everything that I see and do. But that is what love is. To me, it is the yearning to have that person longer, selfishly. It is the sadness of their (impending) departure. It is the wish that they could have been afforded all the opportunities you had. But in the end, it is selfish to want to prolong and extend her pain and suffering for my own self-preservation. I can try to prepare, but I doubt anything could prepare me for the inevitable heartbreak I will have to endure.

I just hope, at some point in time, I made her happy; I hope I made her proud.

I hope that if and when she leaves, she leaves for some place more beautiful than here.

[allicanseebpd]

I just wanna tell you that you're really, pretty girl

I look into the camera, holding my phone at eye level. Instead of joining me you remain below, as if looking up at me whilst you smile. I take the picture and punch you playfully, “that was cringe from the girl who can’t handle even level one romance.” “What can I say? Something came over me.” You laugh and hit me back, then kiss my cheek. You hover in front of me afterwards, and when I turn to look at you, you have a mischievous expression on your face.

“Post this, like on Instagram. But just with the girls holding hands emoji, and like the stars that you always do or something” “erm okay? You sure?” “Yeah, it’ll piss **** off it’ll be great.” “Okay sure”

I load up the picture, edit it slightly and find the caption emojis. “Do I tag you or?” “Hmmm, no actually” I hit post and she grins, satisfied.

“Oh damn, three minutes and ****’s liked it” “I can’t wait for… is that my phone?” “Oh my god is she ringing you” “YES oh my god, what have we done?”

She doesn’t answer the phone, it’ll cost too much for both of them anyways when they’re currently in separate countries. Instead she writes out a text asking what’s up. There’s an immediate reply tone.

“Oh my god she just wrote ‘WTF ••• AGDKDHRBDKDNDKD’ and angry face and heartbreak emojis” “clearly she is not impressed with the lack of knowledge she had on this”

Next door ** scrolled through Instagram and saw the post. She squinted and looked closer, then noticed the caption. She left her room and entered the kitchen, to see * cooking bolognese at the stove. “Hey * come look at this post ellie just put on, it’s really weird?” “How so?” “well it’s of her and ••• but… I don’t know how to explain just look for yourself” * walked over, with a confused expression. She took the phone and looked over the image, noticing the caption and her eyes widening slightly.

“ERM well okay !? Yeah that is really weird what the hell? That’s like a girlfriend girlfriend post kind of thing.” “Well should we go talk to them about it?” “You know what ••• will be like, she’ll just give disinterested replied and get defensive and tell us she can do what she wants and then close the door.” “Okay… well what about Ellie? I think she will talk.” “Yeah okay sure.”

**** : how could you not tell me you had a thing. And I even know of this girl !! Tell me all !! ••• : you know I never talk about stuff like this, with anyone **** : ffs i know. this is why I didn’t know about you and {%{#{% for so long whilst you were actually fucking !! **** : wait have you fucked Ellie or **** : like is this also a fwb thing or actually a relationship or what idk TELL ••• : whoa chill ••• : just gonna ignore the {%{#{% mention btw THANKS FOR THAT ••• : and maybe. **** : FFS •••

“Wow **** is mad as hell. This is very funny though I’m so glad we did this.” “It is a cute photo to be honest, and don’t you dare make sick gestures because you did the look spontaneously ok. I’m just waiting for my mum or my grandma to text me now like 'lol what’s going on mate’ although it probably won’t go quite like that.”

*knock at door*

“•••! Are you in ? Also is ellie in there with you?! We need to have a talk!!” “FUCK I forgot about ** on Instagram, oh fuck and she liked the photo too.” “Let’s just be quiet and pretend we aren’t here!!” She whispered, placing her hand over my mouth. I giggled and looked to the door, in which the handle then turned and * and ** walked straight in.

“Should have locked your door if you wanted to escape this awkward encounter guys” “oh fuck” “SO what’s going on? Like what the fuck ? That picture you put on Instagram is kind of erm how do I say this … NON PLATONIC?!” “Okay * now let’s chill, yes, there is something going on between me and Ellie. It’s not a relationship, it’s not anything with a label at the moment because even we are trying to figure stuff out.” “Well… what is it then??” I looked down, embarrassed and unsure of what to describe this as. To me it was a weird mesh of feelings that we were slowly letting out one by one, considering she barely expresses her emotions and I have to inhibit mine so much due to my bpd. But I liked her a lot and I want to kiss her and hold her hand a lot.

“well basically we are fucking. But also take cute pictures and hold hands sometimes ?” *’s eyes widened and she snorted with laughter. ** looked shocked and tried to brush off the comment. I giggled with the awkwardness.

“Guys literally, just don’t worry about it. We don’t know what we are either, if we find out we’ll tell you. Nothing’s gonna change, just expect us to hold hands sometimes that’s literally it.” I explain. It felt kind of good to tell someone, considering only me and ••• had known about the situation for a while now.

“also maybe don’t just walk in next time, I forget to lock the door A LOT.

[sandytree1]

Unipooni 000For 3 mnd siden HELLO EVERYONE! I'm from Norway and i know EVERYTHING about Skam! Write a comment and I will answer your question! Love u guys! Skam for life <33 Svar 68     

Skjul svarene Aranzua Rodriguez Aranzua RodriguezFor 3 mnd siden (redigert) Unipooni 000 Do you know if there is some web page where I can watch the tv show in english or at least with caps? I'd love to see the whole series but I can't find where. Svar 1     Amy Saliba Amy SalibaFor 3 mnd siden Unipooni 000 did even die in skam? Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 3 mnd siden Amy Saliba Even will not die in Skam. I promise you. Svar 2     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 3 mnd siden Amy Saliba Isak and Even is not gays irl. Both are straight. Svar 12     Amy Saliba Amy SalibaFor 3 mnd siden Unipooni 000 ughh i was hoping they were together irl 😏 their chemistry looks reall Svar 9     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 3 mnd siden Amy Saliba I know! I wished they where together irl! Svar 2     Jessica Alexandra Jessica AlexandraFor 3 mnd siden You say that they are straight but I don't think they have spoken about their sexuality? Svar 25     Amy McCartt Amy McCarttFor 3 mnd siden What are the casts ages? I'm curious to see how old everyone is Svar     Jessica Alexandra Jessica AlexandraFor 3 mnd siden +Amy McCartt Tarjei is 17 (born 99), Josefine is 20 (born 96), Henrik is 21 (born 95). Svar 12     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 3 mnd siden Jessica Alexandra Its a norwegian talk show where they talk about the different characters. They say that Even and Isak are straight irl. Svar 1     Jessica Alexandra Jessica AlexandraFor 3 mnd siden Unipooni 000 what talk show? Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 3 mnd siden Jessica Alexandra VGTV rampelys Svar     Emily Blig Emily BligFor 3 mnd siden do you think that they'll resolve noora and Williams story? I know Thomas quit but that's about all that I've heard. Svar 2     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 3 mnd siden Emily Blig I don't know. I think maybe in the   last episode of season 3 William will return, but just for one episode. I follow William (Thomas Heyes) om snapchat, and I have seen pictures of Noora (Josefine) on his My Story. Maybe he will have a small comeback, but not long. Svar 2     Kannika kasi Kannika kasiFor 3 mnd siden @unipooni 000 do Even and Isak use IG in real life? I'd love to follow them...dying off for the wait of ep 8!! Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 3 mnd siden Kannika kasi Isak don't use ig, but Even do! Follow henkeholm. That's him irl Svar     daslie cruise daslie cruiseFor 2 mnd siden Is this show popular in Norway? or just a hit on Internet? Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden celia edison Skam is very popular in Norway! I think it is the most popular show, at least one of the most popular ones. Old and young people watch it. My grandma (She is 71) is watching skam daily. My mum and my dad also watch it. Svar 18     Ema Stylinson Ema StylinsonFor 2 mnd siden always straight play gays sad Svar 8     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Ema Stylinson I know. Ugh Svar     Foe Ma Foe MaFor 2 mnd siden hy... plz to info us or give us the link so we can watch update skam3 (ishak&evan) .. in here stil esp. 9  ... Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Foe Ma http://skam.p3.no Svar     maria bols maria bolsFor 2 mnd siden Are they really gay? Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden maria bols No. Not irl Svar     Tuva Blue Tuva BlueFor 2 mnd siden +Unipooni 000 Henrik and Tarjei have never said anything about their sexual orientation, so we don't know Svar     Amy Saliba Amy SalibaFor 2 mnd siden There's no need for them to verify their sexuality. No one should feel pressured in any way to 'confirm' their sexuality. Labels are bullshit anyways. Their chemistry on the show is something which gives me goosebumps and their acting is so genuine and thats all that matters. Svar 54     Tuva Blue Tuva BlueFor 2 mnd siden +Amy Saliba Ikr. I just thought it was kinda weird that she said that both of them are straight in real life, because they have never said anything about it. Svar 2     Amy Saliba Amy SalibaFor 2 mnd siden I'm from Malta so I have no validation whatsoever on what she said, but i really wish sexual orientation shouldn't be something to just assume. Gay or not they're both great ❤ Svar 5     Tuva Blue Tuva BlueFor 2 mnd siden +Amy Saliba amen to that Svar 2     stranger edits stranger editsFor 2 mnd siden Can you please tell us some of the cast's snapchats? thank you! Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden stranger edits

Noora - Josefinefr Vilde - Ulrikkefalch Boy- Chris - Hermantommeraas Jonas - Marlonlangeland Girl- Chris - Inasvenningdal

That's all I know. Vis mindre Svar 2     Sergiodlr SergiodlrFor 2 mnd siden Unipooni 000 is tarjei gay in real life?? Svar     Tuva Blue Tuva BlueFor 2 mnd siden +Sergiodlr he has never said anything about his sexual orientation Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Sergiodlr No. He isn't. Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Tuva Blue He has. In a norwegian talkshow. They say that Tarjei is straight irl Svar     Tuva Blue Tuva BlueFor 2 mnd siden +Unipooni 000 in what talk show? And how did they know it? Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Tuva Blue They say it around 11:37 Svar     Tuva Blue Tuva BlueFor 2 mnd siden +Unipooni 000 in what talk show? Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Tuva Blue VG TV tampelys Svar     Tuva Blue Tuva BlueFor 2 mnd siden +Unipooni 000 I've watched it now but I still don't understand how they could know that Tarjei isn't gay. Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Tuva Blue Vegard Harm (the man on the right) know Isak and Even irl. The girl in the middle is Jonas bestfriend irl and she is a friend of Isak too. And thats because they know that Isak is not gay irl. Svar     Tuva Blue Tuva BlueFor 2 mnd siden +Unipooni 000 ok thanks! But Tarjei has never said anything about it himself? Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Tuva Blue No, I don't think so. Svar     Joselyn Gallarzo Joselyn GallarzoFor 2 mnd siden Does Noora end up with William? Svar     Hugo Kvist Hugo KvistFor 2 mnd siden Do you know who season 4 is going to be about? Svar     Mia Nguyen Mia NguyenFor 2 mnd siden it's either sana or vilde. my bet's on sana Svar 1     Blurry Face Blurry FaceFor 2 mnd siden hi so i was wondering who is @saranors ? is she tarjei's girlfriend? cause i was stalking his ig and i found his pict with this girl and idk the caption is in norway i think, but he put a heart there. who is she? thank you Svar     Tuva Blue Tuva BlueFor 2 mnd siden +Blurry Face @ isakyaki isn't heirs real ig account, it's his characters account. And she was the girl Isak was in a relationship with in season 2. Svar     Tuva Blue Tuva BlueFor 2 mnd siden +Tuva Blue his* Svar     Blurry Face Blurry FaceFor 2 mnd siden +Tuva Blue oh my god thanks, ans I'm sorry i haven't watch the season 2 and 1 Svar     Blurry Face Blurry FaceFor 2 mnd siden +Tuva Blue *and Svar     Marije MarijeFor 2 mnd siden Unipooni 000 is tarjei also gay in real life? Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Nee No. He isn't. Svar     Gancangh ï Gancangh ïFor 2 mnd siden when will the 4th season begin? ♡ Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Gancangh ï in february (: Svar 2     Gancangh ï Gancangh ïFor 2 mnd siden Unipooni 000 is the day determined? Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Gancangh ï No ): Svar 1     Lamon Wade Lamon WadeFor 2 mnd siden Where can I watch Skam with English subtitles or translated to English or something Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Lamon Wade It is many accounts on Tumblr where they post videos with english subtitles. You can also try to find something on yt, but it can be hard.     it is very strictly. Svar 1     Lamon Wade Lamon WadeFor 2 mnd siden okay thank you!! Tumblr is how I found out about the show, and I just fell in love with Isak Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Lamon Wade I'm living for Evak <3 Svar 1     Osm Britney Osm BritneyFor 2 mnd siden lol Svar     Kosara KosaraFor 2 mnd siden Unipooni 000 do you know why thomas quit? Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Kosara He quited because he wanted something new. He was tired to be known as "William" everywhere. He was tired of 10000 phonecalls everyday and things like that. But he is still watching Skam and he want to be an actor (: Svar 2     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 2 mnd siden I don't think they are gay, I know Tarjei's ex, a girl and, they don't get roles that matches their sexual orientation. They just get a script ;) Svar 1     Marya Zone Marya ZoneFor 2 mnd siden you no when season4 release? Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Hcftggghi Tgfgyhhbh February og March (: Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden or* Svar     Yazzi Lawley Yazzi LawleyFor 2 mnd siden Unipooni 000 is Tarjei Sandvik Moe gay in real life? Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Yazzi Lawley No, he isn't. Svar     larry evak larry evakFor 2 mnd siden Yazzi Lawley we don't know, he never said anything about. Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden larry evak He has. One of his friends irl (Vegard Harm) talks about his sexuality in a norwegian talkshow (VG TV RAMPELYS) and he said that Tarjei is straight and he has only dated girls irl. Svar     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 2 mnd siden +Unipooni 000 Vegard wants him to be gay so bad xD Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Kaori Miyazono I know HAHAHA Svar     Natalia K Natalia KFor 2 mnd siden When will be season 4?:) Svar     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 2 mnd siden (redigert) +Natalia K Yes. Btw, it is always a suprise which character who gets to lead the season. Svar     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 2 mnd siden I think it will be out before winter. Svar     Post Apocalyptic Penguin Post Apocalyptic PenguinFor 2 mnd siden Unipooni 000 Do you know when season 4 will be released? I'm dying without the show 😂 Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 2 mnd siden Post Apocalyptic Penguin I think the trailer to season 4 will be released 8. January. But the season will begikk in February. Svar 1     Post Apocalyptic Penguin Post Apocalyptic PenguinFor 2 mnd siden Unipooni 000 Thank you so much 😊 I'm from the U.S and have to watch it with subtitles so it may be a bit later that I get to watch it. Just depends on when someone puts the english subs on the new season Svar     Z Monet Z MonetFor 2 mnd siden I just wanna know Isak's roommate, is he a gay in really life? Because you know ....he seems really.... Svar     ritaelharti2012 ritaelharti2012For 2 mnd siden Jessica Alexandra but if irl, isak is 17 and even, 21 isn't it considered pedophilia since Isak is a minor? Svar     Post Apocalyptic Penguin Post Apocalyptic PenguinFor 2 mnd siden ritaelharti2012 Pedofilia is when someone older than 18 is attracted to prepubescent kids like younger than 12 or 13. Not trying to get mad at you or anything, I am just saying that that isn't what a pedophile is. But Isak, being younger than 18, (making him a minor) does mean that it wouldnt be good for them to have sex. But it's just a T.V show. They don't actually do it Svar 1     Post Apocalyptic Penguin Post Apocalyptic PenguinFor 2 mnd siden ritaelharti2012 But like you said if they were going out irl it  might be illegal for them to have sex (in certain countries) but I bet in Norway their age of consent is lower than 18. It is probably 16. Svar 1     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 2 mnd siden +张明慧 He is not gay in real life Svar     Jessica Alexandra Jessica AlexandraFor 2 mnd siden ritaelharti2012 in Norway age of consent is 16. Svar     ritaelharti2012 ritaelharti2012For 1 mnd siden +Post Apocalyptic Penguin okay, thx :) Svar 1     ritaelharti2012 ritaelharti2012For 1 mnd siden +Jessica Alexandra thxx Svar     asdfg qwert asdfg qwertFor 1 mnd siden Unipooni 000 how old is Marlon (Jonas) irl?? I read that he is 17 but I can't believe it, he looks so much older! Svar     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 1 mnd siden +Saana Berg ask him on snapchat haha, I think he's 19. (I watched him at a show called "barnas superjul when I was little, and he looked about my age. Svar 1     asdfg qwert asdfg qwertFor 1 mnd siden (redigert) +Kaori Miyazono aahh sadly I don't have a snapchat :/ But 19 makes more sense, I'm 17 myself and he seems older than most of the boys my age :D Svar 1     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 1 mnd siden +Saana Berg I'm soon 18 tho xD Svar     Vivian Lan Vivian LanFor 1 mnd siden I heard Even actor was a barista ? Svar     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 1 mnd siden I think chris is quitting, he's going to the military Svar     Jennifer 卌 Jennifer 卌For 1 mnd siden Unipooni 000 who is that girl with the brown hair who talked like half of the video?? Svar     Jennifer 卌 Jennifer 卌For 1 mnd siden Unipooni 000 and who is the bald guy Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 1 mnd siden Jennifer 卌 A famous person from Norway. All of the persons on that show is famous in Norway. He has nothing with Skam to do btw. Not the woman either. Svar     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 1 mnd siden His name is Axel hennie, and that woman is a famous person from&in sweden Svar     AmericanGirl16MSP AmericanGirl16MSPFor 1 mnd siden http://evenxisak.tumblr.com/post/153276356634/season-1-and-2-of-skam Here ya go Svar     Aayla AaylaFor 1 mnd siden This may be a stupid question but is Isak gay or not? Svar     Unipooni 000 Unipooni 000For 1 mnd siden heatbeat10 No. He is straight. Svar     Emani F Emani FFor 1 mnd siden can you explain how russ time works? Svar 2     Jennifer 卌 Jennifer 卌For 1 mnd siden heatbeat10 Isak is gay, but the actor that plays isak (Tarjei) is straight. Svar     Random RandomFor 1 mnd siden Unipooni 000 your lucky Svar     seri seriFor 1 mnd siden Did Herman (penetrator, chris) quit Skam? Svar     Bants and Rants Bants and RantsFor 1 mnd siden +seri yes he did, he's going into the army Svar     spooky jim spooky jimFor 1 mnd siden +Bants and Rants 1) is season 3 over? 2) will there be season 4? Svar     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 1 mnd siden +spooky jim yes Svar     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 1 mnd siden +spooky jim I think in february Svar     masscarollo masscarolloFor 1 mnd siden Does Tarjei still play on season 4 ? Svar     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 1 mnd siden +masscarollo I guess so, if anyone quits, they say it before the new season starts Svar     masscarollo masscarolloFor 1 mnd siden +Kaori Miyazono Great thanks ! He is my favorite character but we won't see him a lot in season 4 right ? :(  Svar     whot whotFor 1 mnd siden hi :) could you probably share their social medias ? :) thank you in advance ! Svar     Адріана Жймo Адріана ЖймoFor 1 mnd siden Unipooni 000 I want to know if this is real that people in Norway just have sex with everyone at every party even if they are in relationships? I heard that from someone that lives there and so I was a little bit shocked because I thought those people have respect to each other and etc you know Svar     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 1 mnd siden +Адріана Жймo Some people have borders that they don't want to go over, but it's normal to do those things. Wait, people don't cheat though. They don't have sex with other people than their partner. They have sex if they feel like it xD If it's a stranger, then they would probably be drunk doing it Svar     cats cats cats catsFor 1 mnd siden Unipooni 000 why is your language so damn pretty?? And why does not even character have site on instagram? Svar     Kaori Miyazono Kaori MiyazonoFor 1 mnd siden +Heleri J Because Isak's character used social media a lot, and shows pictures to people. Even has bipolar disorder, and he is more hidden and mysterious. So his character wouldn't probably use instagram. Isak posts silly things with his friends Svar     Isabelle Gylstorff Isabelle GylstorffFor 1 mnd siden Does Tarjei have any social medias? Svar     cats cats cats catsFor 1 mnd siden Kaori Miyazono thanks 💙

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6FGwSnGVS4

Sandy TreeFor 28 minutter siden (redigert) Cecilie Munthe: Actually they are making an American adaption this very moment. Simon Fuller who made  "Idol" and "So you think you can dance?" just bought the rights to the series and SHAME is expected to be released for American and Canadian audiences sometime in 2017 :). I'll add a link to an article announcing this at the bottom of this comment.

Although I am happy for SKAM's success, I'm a bit sad that there'll be an English adaption, since the series became such great incentive for more people to learn Norwegian. You know, for other media than black metal songs. If you as an English audience could choose between an English version and a Norwegian version, most would obviously go with the former I assume.

English article by Variety http://variety.com/2016/tv/global/skam-norway-simon-fuller-american-1201937213/

Norwegian article by NRK https://www.nrk.no/kultur/na-kommer-den-amerikanske-versjonen-av-skam-1.13265860

http://variety.com/2016/tv/global/skam-norway-simon-fuller-american-1201937213/

http://skam-online.tumblr.com/episodes